#snicket parents

[just-an-enby-lemon]

I'm having sad thoughts about Jacques again. About how he only seems like someone who has things figured out and is put together because we are seing him by very biased lens.

We are seing him by Lemony's eyes. The eyes of a man who idolized his older brother, who wanted to be like him. The eyes of someone who tends to either be extremely judgy or see everyone as better than himself and idealize them (often both at the same time).

We are in a different level seing him by the eyes of the Baudelraies. But they know little of Jacques and what they know is mostly that this is a man their parents knew, that promises answers and more important an adult that for the first time looks at Olaf in disguize and sees Olaf. Their view is biased at best.

We are also seing him by Quingleys eyes. But for Quingley Jacques was the man who found him lost in a tunnel alone and confused, griving and in danger and gave him something. That gave him some answers and food and a place to stay even if it was the abandoned house of one of his dead friends.

And even by everyone else Jacques is a Snicket, the Snickets are very competent and mostly loyal but also a bit weird. And Jacques is all that. But in comparrison to his sibblings? He has his life put together.

That's to say that Jacques is likely tired, overworked, traumatized and failing apart. But he can keep himself suave, well-read, well-dressed and calculating. He isn't taking obvious risky behavior like Kit. And he certainly isn't just a blurried bunch of trauma in a fedora like Lemony. So he appears to be someone that is fine. And that we shoudn't worry about.

[varruthesarru]

[vashti-lives]

*squints* a kid I know is turning 7 on Wednesday is this too young for a series of unfortunate events?

[la-pheacienne]

Can someone who has read the book series called "A series of unfortunate events" explain to me what the fuck was that about? I've read all 13 of them and I still have no fucking clue. It was a very fun reading but also I was so incredibly depressed in the end cause I got zero answers about literally every single thing that happened in this 13 books. What was the point????

[afterthegreatunknown]

asoue au where gregor anwhistle is alive and the stepfather of fernald and fiona, part two:

all while hector and widdershins are living together in the hinterlands in peace (peaceful as it can be until a certain event), the organization is in disarray. a family is in disarray.

the organization knows ishmael is alive given gregor's testimony, but no one knows where he could be. all that they know from gregor is that he's out there in the ocean in a bathyscaphe. some speculate ishmael eventually died for one can't travel too far and too long in a bathyscaphe (it's not a submarine, after all), while other speculate given the man's character, found a way to survive.

gregor other's brother ike, and his wife josephine, are ridden with guilty for partly causing the death of frigga, and widdershins. never would they assume their warning would have lead to the frigga getting shot. they never thought gregor's volatility would have him killing widdershins without any hesitation. the two deaths had ike and josephine entering retirement in the organization, limiting their contact with gregor to letters, until they died by leeches. not together, but leeches did killed them both.

kit snicket, while not losing her reputation in the organization (as with the others involve), slowly loses her other relationships as a result of the fire, especially with regards to widdershins' death. she loses ike and josephine, for like the couple themselves, holds them partly responsible for widdershins' death. kit loses betrand and beatrice, for their involvement in the volatile fungus deportation project has her seeing them as accomplices. kit loses her twin, after he writes an article that blames the boy widdershins loved as his own, as the one who destroyed anwhistle aquatic, and as widdershins' killer.

gregor himself goes through the ringer. he is unable to regain funding for a second attempt of the volatile fungus deportation project. the organization doesn't want to deal with another schism within schism. while gregor was offered by the organization to work in other less deadly projects, he instead decided to take over as captain of the queequeg, for the organization plan to turn it into scrap metal.

gregor doesn't mourn the lost of his project. he only mourns his wife, and widdershins. especially widdershins. it's why gregor become a captain, to save the queequeg, the one thing left of widdershins.

everyone mourns over frigga, but not many mourn over widdershins. much of the organization pretends he never existed, partly due to his violent death is something they don't want to think about again, but mostly because they're finally able to remove the 'leech outsider' who 'wormed' his way into the organization.

and fernald is disguised by them all, especially by gregor.

fernald always respected gregor, but never liked him. gregor never did anything to earn the teenager's ire though, which is why he didn't make complaints or objected to his mother's decision to date him. but now though, fernald has every reason to spite the man.

gregor allowed mom to transform into a different woman, and let her die. she became a woman who cared for work, and only work. not her family, her two children. gregor killed widdershins, the man who took care of fernald as a child, who tutored fernald like a chaperone. fernald lost the man he saw as a brother, as family.

the lost of his mother and widdershins has fernald one night lashing out at gregor. fernald yells at gregor for everything, and without any interruptions. fernald was able to let his feelings out at long last. and at the end...gregor told fernald to get out. that to take his things, and to never come back. and fernald does so without hesitation, crying his eyes out a week later, realizing he doomed fiona, and himself. he cries in anger as he read a newspaper article that brought back widdershins into the world, at the cost of everything he holds dear.

and it's fernald's anger at gregor does he make the decision to switch sides. it came to be after kit went to fernald in hopes to calm him down from reading her brother's article. and she did so, sort of. fernald stop his crying, but he was still angry, and told kit he wanted to get back at gregor by doing the one thing that would make him upset.

kit in horror, reminded fernald that he ought to be careful in how to spite his stepfather, for the one person who would be disappointed by fernald's actions, would be widdershins. and fernald told kit that he's doing it because of widdershins, that if the man was alive, fernald wouldn't thinking it in the first place.

and kit, despite knowing it's the wrong decision, lets fernald go. kit recognizes she is unable to change the path he's going, but accepts it. all she can do is wish him good luck and tells him that the next time they meet, they will be enemies. and fernald tells kit thank you, and makes her promise to watch his sister, if she can. fernald fears fiona's life will not be easy under gregor's care.

fernald's fears while not correct, also isn't wrong. gregor takes care of fiona; he feeds her, provides her clothes, and make sure she gets the best education possible, but he makes no attempts to emotionally connect with her. gregor refers to fiona as his daughter, but one can tell he doesn't view her as such. they can tell by his voice, how hollow it is, how dull his eyes are as he speaks the word.

once fiona gets old enough, she learns of her mother. she learns from her father that her mother died in a fire, and he failed to save here. it was a fire that her brother fernald blames gregor for, and ran away from home because the grief overtook him, for seeing fiona had the boy being painfully reminded of that night.

fiona also learns, all by herself, that her father is hiding something. some things are more obvious than others. her father's attempt to hide his...disconnection with her, is one she noticed at five, after he didn't appear on her birthday, only sending a gift from the mail. from that day onward, fiona knows her father is a father in everything but spirit, acting the motions of a father, but not letting himself be one. fiona wishes he could call him anything but that, but she feels oblige. he is the only family she has left. she doesn't want to lose him.

another thing fiona learns over time, is that her father is lying about being a submarine captain. fiona after visiting a few submarines with kit snicket -kit is the only volunteer willing to take fiona to other organization submarines- sees how her father isn't as skilled at the controls, which has fiona deciding to learn how to be a captain. it's something fiona can see kit is happy about, knowing the queequeg is in good hands at long last.

fiona learns how her father was very likely a scientist, after one day at the bookstore, when he buys three expensive trace fossils books, and she buys her first mycology book. her father upon seeing her book, has a light in his eyes, and spirit in his voice as he tells fiona about mycology, and how it's a dangerous field to study in, and to take caution, almost as if he was speaking from experience.

most importantly, fiona after some digging of the library, learns of the person who was very likely, the true captain of the queequeg. she finds the hidden poetry books, improper and proper dieting books, and the works of herman melville. one work in particular, moby dick, looks like it was read many times. pages are ready to fall out, and there are light pencil underlines in certain passages and of certain names.

one name in particular stands out to fiona. queequeg. fiona, after finally finishing her reading of moby dick, sees why the reader like queequeg, enough to name a submarine after him.

and it's moby dick does fiona sees how her father was once truly happy. inside the book is a photograph tuck away. it's a photograph of her father smiling, alongside her uncle ike and aunt josephine, and two men she doesn't recognized. one man had the luck of being in the middle, and the photo was crease so many times, his face is now gone. the other man's face is clear as day, but there's nothing that gives away who he is. the only standout is that the man has a mustache, and it curls upward almost like a parenthesis.

fiona keeps that photograph on her, knowing well that her father will never look through the book again. it's hiding away for a reason, like another photograph that is of her family at lake lachrymose. fiona would like to give the photo to kit in hopes the woman would identity the unknown men, but kit was soon assigned to libraries, taxis, and the hotel denouement.

fiona never told anyone about the photo. not even as the baudelaires came aboard the queequeg, fiona couldn't find it in herself to tell her third cousins of it. third cousins who didn't know of her existence until now, and of her father. and fiona isn't shock that aunt josephine never talked about her extended family (uncle ike and aunt josephine stop communicating with her father when fiona was a toddler, for reasons she still doesn't understand).

fiona kept it to herself as they were in the grotto, discussing a letter by kit to her father, who is now confirm a scientist, and not a submarine captain at all. fiona kept it to herself as the children came back aboard to an empty submarine, with only a note from her father, her stepfather, that he must depart on a vfd escort mission, entrusting fiona to be the new captain.

fiona kept it to herself as she struggles between trying to get the queequeg moving or to go find a cure for sunny, who when inside the grotto, got infected by the mycelium. fiona kept the photograph hidden as she and the baudelaires were thrown into the brig by count olaf, and as fiona reunited with her brother. fiona didn't dare show fernald the photo right then and there, even after learning of the deceased captain widdershins, the true owner of the queequeg who fernald was blame for killing upon setting the anwhistle aquatic fire, even though fernald wasn't there at all.

everything she learned in the brig was too much to show the photo. fiona eventually showed the photo to the baudelaires, after they showed her the photo of her family. seeing that photo had fiona snapping, telling them that her stepfather never cared about her and her brother, that he was never happy with her, that he was happy when single, when the true captain of the queequeg was alive.

and showing the photo at last to the baudelaires gave a reaction fiona wasn't expecting. the baudelaires told her the man in the photograph, the one with the mustache, is still alive. that his name is veasna heng, and that he's in a self-sustaining hot air mobile home with hector, the village of fowl devotee's handyman, taking care of duncan and isadora quagmire.

hearing those words gave fiona pause. it was a pause that granted the baudelaires the chance to convince fiona to let them go, as well as giving her the fungus inside sunny's helmet. and fiona agreed, thanking them for everything, the good and the bad.

fiona, upon reuniting with fernald, shows him the photograph, and what the baudelaires told her. and with a smile on his face, fernald asked her if she would be okay with a change of plan; instead of finding gregor, they should find the man in the photo, widdershins.

and fiona, without any hesitation, agrees to the change. while the change plan still oddly enough, lead to them finding gregor, it was not him who they ran towards though.

they instead ran towards widdershins.

(funny thing is, fiona feel it's how it's supposed to be)

[volunteerfelinedetectives]

Finally starting Woevember!!

My Baudelaire Fire theory:

Following Esmé’s marriage to Jerome, the Baudelaire parents considered calling a temporary truce with the other side of the schism. They invited her over to negotiate (this was why they sent their children away). They were sitting round the table drinking brandy, and Esmé, being a firestarter, didn’t use a coaster. Little did they know that she had placed some sort of device outside intended to set the building on fire, which didn’t work due to the weather. She got angry, which made the Baudelaire parents suspicious. Esmé excused herself, left the room, and set fire to the building from the inside. She then left via the secret passageway. The Baudelaire parents, smelling smoke, go to investigate, but only Beatrice manages to get out before the passageway is blocked (somebody later removes whatever fell on it). Beatrice hides in the fountain. Lemony does not actually believe that she is dead, but pretends she is in order to protect her. VFD faking her death is the reason Lemony is ‘forbidden to speak to her’ like he mentions in TAA.

[mando-abs]

It’s always so weird seeing stories (even made for tv drama episodes) about a kid being locked in a hot car because I was almost that kid.

Story time under the cut

Now, I want to preface this that my mammaw was the one who locked my sibling and I in a nursing home parking lot to see my great aunt. My mammaw was not in her right mind and died months later.

She said she wouldn’t be gone long, but time ticked on and the car only got hotter from the inside. We were in an older Ford Taurus with the locks that go up and down by the side of the window. I don’t know how I was able to get the doors unlocked. I was only six. By that point, I had watched the Series of Unfortunate Events movie and saw a car that had locks on the inside (because otherwise I wouldn’t have known the purpose of them). But I knew the Baudelaire siblings struggled to get them open without the key. Luckily, I didn’t have a train coming at me so I knew I had time. Even at that young age, I knew something wasn’t right. My sibling, only a few years older than me, knew something was wrong, too. They didn’t know what to do. I clawed at the lock on my backseat door. I began to worry. I didn’t like it. I knew that kids shouldn’t be locked in cars without an adult for this long. I was feverishly warm.

I dug with my little kindergarten hands into the lock. It scratched up my cuticles and the top of my nail beds real nice, but eventually I got a hook underneath the knob of the door lock. It was me, a six year old, who managed to get the door unlocked and let the breeze from the outside in. My mammaw wouldn’t come back for another 15-20 minutes.

We didn’t dare tell our mother. We knew it was a mistake. We didn’t want her to get angry at her. And considering she died not long after, it was probably the best for their relationship. I don’t think I told my mom that story until I was in middle school or high school. Besides, it wasn’t until the wave of news stories of children being left in hot cars in the summertime came that I realized how dangerous that situation actually was.

I guess I’ll end with this. Even if you don’t have children, start getting in the habit of checking your backseat. This easy habit may save you grief later. Don’t leave your kids locked in a car without adult supervision. If there’s even a chance your errand might take you longer than anticipated, bring your children with you. A temper tantrum is better than an emergency hospital visit. I promise. And finally, let your kids get saturated in stories, books, and movies. You never know, it may save their life one day.

[nicollekidman]

my middle school reading list was like…. my dad’s carl hiasan books, lemony snicket, all of gregory maguire’s stuff including wicked, the millennium trilogy, phantom of the opera…. assigning a “college level” reading level to me at age 11 pretty much guaranteed i was reading Whatever although my mom did stop me reading jodi picoult until i was 12

[nomairuins]

read asoue to weeman as a bedtime story he liked it YAYYYY

[joy-crimes]

hii i just needed to ask this because its driving me a bit insane but in the Timmy Turner subathon stream you mention the words "Three orphans, one uscrupulous guardian-" but then get interrupted by Penny dying before you get to mention where it comes from. Every rewatch i do of that video that phrase gets stuck in my head for like a day at the least

i was just wondering if you were willing to share where it comes from so I can stop wondering or trying to find where it comes from, thank you!

Hello Hello HelloOOOO I am your beloved Count Olaf. 3 orphans. “my dear hhhhhhhshh/? Violet.” An Unscrupulous Guardian. “all i ask is that y ou do each and everything that POPS into my head! while i enjoy the enormous fortune your parents left behiiiinndgnd” “we’re very concerned.” New on DVD based on the series of bestselling books. you’re invited to discover THIS WAY TO THE REPTILE ROOM WOAH. *croak* HRHOGEOROREGHHGH A world built by imagination. Ruled by invention. and strung together by a series of unfortunate events. Paramount pictures and dreamworks pictures present… JIM Carrey. Jim Carrey. and JIIIM CARREYY .. and tHEN THE UNTHINKABLE HAPPENED. Lemony snicket’s a series of unfortunate events “Now that we're family i can be the ULLLLTIMATE DAD” Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

[cannedpickledpeaches]

Sad Poems but I Choose to Interpret Them as Happy

Jade Leech x Reader

“I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love you as the starfish loves a coral reef and as kudzu loves trees, even if the oceans turn to sawdust and the trees fall in the forest without anyone around to hear them . . . . I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat, and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the sperm whale, and the sperm whale loves the flavor of naval uniforms. I will love you as a drawer loves a secret compartment, and as a secret compartment loves a secret, and as a secret loves to make a person gasp . . . I will love you until all such compartments are discovered and opened, and all the secrets have gone gasping into the world.” -Excerpt from The Beatrice Letters, Lemony Snicket

Jade is not as fickle as his brother, but he too is guilty of interests that come and go like the wind. There are some that stay, like hiking, foraging, and photography; but there are far more that he drops as soon as he’s figured them out. More often than not, his love is not long-lasting.

He has long accepted that any romantic relationship he finds himself in would have a very slim chance of being normal. Healthy. No, his love will likely destroy his partner, whether it is because of obsession or of fleeting interest. He thinks it wouldn’t be so bad to experience it. It would be interesting, a deviation from his norm.

You’re his target, but only because you made such a fascinating proposition. When you’re bored of me, tell me immediately, and we can break up with no hard feelings. Were you such a pragmatic person? He hadn’t noticed before. It spurs him on to know more, to learn everything about you. And once he does, once every single secret you could possibly hide is laid bare before him, he’ll lose interest like he always does and drop you like a bad habit.

So he does. Your favourite food. Colour. Season. The basic things, until they get more specific. The way you do your hair in the mornings. The recipes you favour and the ratio of their ingredients. Your reactions to his occasional unhinged comment. The shows that you laugh or cry at. The ones you think are mediocre. He files them all away in his memory, picking you apart like you’re a subject to study. That’s what he tells himself, anyway. Mild interest. Once he finds out everything, he’ll grow bored and leave.

Days turn to months turn to a year. Has so much time really passed? The secrets you hold have dwindled in number. He knows you inside out, top to bottom, soul to body. There’s only one thing left that he doesn’t know.

You often tease him, asking why he won’t bring you to the Coral Sea. He always gives some shoddy excuse or the other. He isn’t so sure, himself. There’s no real reason to stall. The ice floes have retreated. His parents would be delighted. He would finally know how you’d act in his hometown, in the dark, deep sea that is so different from your home, and with that, he would finally drop you. There will be nothing new.

Unfortunately, I find myself quite busy recently. Perhaps next month. When next month comes around, he pushes it another thirty days. Then another. He was never one to procrastinate, so why now? This is far from efficient. Was he such a cowardly person? He hadn’t known before. He needs to get it done so that he will no longer have a reason to keep you by his side—

Ah. That is the issue, isn’t it?

He doesn’t know how long he’d been in love. All he knows is that he can’t get bored anymore, even if the smile you give him is the same, even if your laughter that warms his chest is unchanging, even if he brings you home. All he knows is that as much as he thought his love would be destructive, he treasures your comfort and happiness too much to think about hurting you anymore. The deadline no longer lies where your last secret is. Forever, until the seas dry up, until he breaths his last gasp—he will love you forever.

[dimetrodone]

The Willoughbys (2019)

I flat up forgot this movie exists.

I remember it just Okay but I admire the premise being about a bunch of siblings trying to get adopted cause their parents are neglectful assholes. Spoilers they do end up adopted by a woman with a candy factory and their biological parents are eaten by a shark. Very Roald Dahl.

I know this is based on a book and don’t know what the book is like, but I remember finding the movie’s art direction and tone a bit too cutesy and cloying for what it is. It feels like it should have been more goth, aimed at the sort of kids who would read Lemony Snicket.

Apparently this is by the same director as Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2, a movie that I have not seen so idk how similar these two movies are.

[friedwizardwhispers]

The thing about the "character are unreliable narrators" is that when they are, you have to take that into account when talking about the character and the story

Like for example, let's go with Lemony Snicket in a series of unfortunate events who is telling the story of the Baudelaire children, he is an unreliable narrator because he a) only have second-hand sources about them b) he is on the lamb from the law while "writing the book" c) has a vested interest because of his relationship with the Baudelaire parents and d) is part of a secret organization, all of these are part of his character so when you analyse the story and the characters you have to take that into account, right ?

Same with Katniss in the Hunger Games, she is an unreliable narrator because she is a teenager with her own bias (see her pov on Peeta for almost the entirety of the first book) who doesn't know all of the secrets and who is actively being manipulated by adults. This is part of her character.

This is when we go to MXTX and why I am annoyed when people call the main characters, unreliable narrators. First of all, they are not telling anyone theirs stories, there is no intent here .

Second of all, the narration is absolutely unreliable that is true but the characters are not actively lying to us about it. If they were we would have to take that into account when analysing them.

Xie Lian for example is not lying to us or trying to trick the reader into thinking he doesn't know who Fu Yao and Nan Feng are, the narrator,who isn't Xie Lian revealed that he knew all along later because of the rule of funny. It wasn't a choice made by Xie Lian in the story, if it was we would have to wonder why he did it.

Shen Qingqiu is not actively lying to us about when he is crying right before he is about to detonate himself for Binghe, he is lying to himself. There is no intent to trick us because he is still not the narrator.

Wei Wuxian is not actively hiding the core exchange reveal from us because he doesn't want to talk about it or whatever, the narrator is keeping the reveal until the most dramatic moment.

If a character is an unreliable narrator, then that's also part of theirs characterization which is not the case for any of our main characters.

[unfortunatetheorist]

What happened to the statue of The Bombinating Beast? - Part 1: ATWQ to ASOUE

This theory is dedicated to @ven10, whose post depicting the statue in the episode of The End (https://www.tumblr.com/unfortunatetheorist/758594891663212544/it-certainly-is-ven10-it-certainly-is?source=share), inspired my thoughts. There are also inferences made by @snicketsleuth (and @snicketstrange) which are used.

So, by the end of WITNDFAON (which I admit I haven't read yet but will get round to), we know that The Bombinating Beast statue is of great importance, as well as:

"Snicket fed Armstrong to the creature, and then wandered into the Clusterous Forest with the statue. It is unknown what he did with the statue and what happened to that beast, or its siblings, after this" ~ Snicket Wiki.

The only hint we have of The Bombinating Beast is that Lemony wanders into the Clusterous Forest with it's statue. Therefore it is important to take into consideration an extra detail about the Clusterous Forest, which links the ATWQ universe to ASOUE:

Lucky Smells Lumbermill gets its green timber from The Clusterous Forest.

This is my line of reasoning as to what happened:

1. Despite being an agent of VFD, Lemony is still a child, so there is a chance he feels some remorse for killing Armstrong Feint/Hangfire.

2. It is out of said remorse that Lemony decides to have nothing to do with the Beast again, burying the statue of the Beast deep in the forest... or so he thinks.

3. During ASOUE (just before TMM) a worker (e.g. Evander) chopping trees for Lucky Smells Lumbermill comes across the statue.

4. Not knowing what to do with it, and being under hypnotic influence, the worker promptly hands it to the foreman, who gives it to Sir.

5. It is extremely likely that Sir (The Miserable Mill) and Wiley Smogface (FU:13SI, ATWQ) are in fact the same person; however, there is no reference of any connection whatsoever between Sir/Smogface and The Bombinating Beast's statue. This implies that he knows nothing about the Beast, which makes little sense given that he is from Stain'd-by-the-Sea.

This logical gap can be filled: if Sir/Smogface had a "very terrible childhood" as Charles has clearly stated during TMM, this could refer to his parents bouncing around from town to town as they seek different jobs with more and more money. Hence, Wiley is left by himself in his parents' latest job-stop - Stain'd-by-the-Sea - unaware of the legend of The Bombinating Beast.

6. Sir has no idea of the power he holds... but apparently, neither does Georgina! There's also no reference to Georgina knowing anything about the statue - she's just a VFD optometrist with a bad reputation who lives in Paltryville, even during the events of ATWQ.

This implies that the statue... well... just stood there, as an ornament, in Sir's office.

7. Someone took the statue from Sir's office at Lucky Smells Lumbermill. But who? Well, whoever it was must have known two things:

a) The importance of the statue

b) It's location

There are only 3 people who seem to fit the bill perfectly - Lemony, Ellington and Moxie.

We know that each of them have their reasons:

Lemony: To use its power to somehow help the Baudelaires.

Ellington: To end it all after falling into a depression from the loss of her father OR to claim revenge on Lemony after having gone through the grief mentioned above.

Moxie: For a great story and the Mallahan legacy; after all, Lady Mallahan allegedly slew the Original Bombinating Beast.

@snicketsleuth's post, 'What is The Great Unknown?' (Full post here: The Snicket Sleuth — What is “The Great Unknown”? (tumblr.com)), says the following:

"Following the events of “All The Wrong Questions”, Ellington eventually escaped from the prison cell with Kit Snicket thanks to the skeleton key in Ellington’s bag. Kit and Ellington, before going their own ways, exchanged a good deal of information. Kit Snicket could not help noticing Ellington acted extremely angry towards Lemony and VFD in general.

In the following years, Ellington worked tirelessly to recover her father’s remaining assets as well as uncovering the secrets of Inhumane Society. Though the book Caviar: Salty Jewel of the Tasty Sea was destroyed, she had had the opportunity to read some chapters Lemony hadn’t. No one knew about the CBB more than her. With some effort, she managed to find the animal hiding in the Clusterous Forest, as well as the Bombinating Beast statue that Lemony had buried there. With the statue, she was now in control of the CBB. Eventually she managed to track down an octopus-shaped submarine which used to belong to Hangfire, only to lose it to Count Olaf.

As Olaf escaped with the submarine (now rebaptized the Carmelita), Ellington pursued him. She used the statue to control the CBB, ordering it to seize the Carmelita. The CBB first encountered the Queequeg in close vicinity to the Queequeg. Unsure whether these two crafts were allied with each other, Ellington ordered the CBB to stand down. Captain Widdershins mistook the question-mark shape on their radar for an enemy submarine.  Later, Ellington witnessed the Queequeg being attacked by the Carmelita, and decided to approach the CBB to scare Count Olaf and help the crew of the Queequeg. Count Olaf also assumed the mysterious entity was an enemy submarine."

I agree with Ellington being the one who takes the statue...

...but I don't think she found it in the Clusterous Forest. Sorry, @snicketsleuth.

8. If Georgina's reputation was really as bad as Moxie made it out to be, there is a chance that Ellington would have visited the Lumbermill in disbelief - I think it is here that she stumbles upon the statue.

9. This happens:

"With the statue, she was now in control of the CBB. Eventually she managed to track down an octopus-shaped submarine which used to belong to Hangfire, only to lose it to Count Olaf.

As Olaf escaped with the submarine (now rebaptized the Carmelita), Ellington pursued him. She used the statue to control the CBB, ordering it to seize the Carmelita. The CBB first encountered the Queequeg in close vicinity to the Queequeg. Unsure whether these two crafts were allied with each other, Ellington ordered the CBB to stand down. Captain Widdershins mistook the question-mark shape on their radar for an enemy submarine.  Later, Ellington witnessed the Queequeg being attacked by the Carmelita, and decided to approach the CBB to scare Count Olaf and help the crew of the Queequeg. Count Olaf also assumed the mysterious entity was an enemy submarine.

The Queequeg eventually escaped from the clutches of the Carmelita. While making their way to the Hotel Denouement, Olaf, Esme and Carmelita Spats realized the Baudelaire orphans’ absence and were betrayed by Fernald and Fiona who let the imprisoned youngsters start a mutiny. Ellington followed the entire mutiny from afar. The youngsters were released. Esme, Olaf and Carmelita fled. The octopus-shaped submarine was eventually given back to Ellington Feint who promised to help Fernald and Fiona if they were ever in trouble."

10. Ellington had no further use for the CBB (as she already gained her father's submarine, which was the intention) so she [presumably, most likely] discarded the statue in the sea, before it washed up on the island, as @ven10 describes.

Part 2 (Post-ASOUE) coming soon,

~ Th3r3534rch1ngr4ph, Unfortunate Theorist/Snicketologist

[fanonical]

snicket parents: okay, here is our daughter katherine, who we will call kit for short snicket parents: we want to fuck over thiis one kid in particular, so we're calling him lemony snicket parents: aaaaaaaaand this one looks french. so he's called jacques

[decentishoutsidersthoughts]

Pls yap about your AUs, gimme a list of all of them plssss

Ofc I have my Stranger Things AU which I feel like a good amount of people are here from

Theres the a series of unfortunate events AU where Darry basically plays the role of Lemony Snicket

My cutesy little foster AU where the brothers are all separated at a young age, Darry gets a good home but those parents die too, Soda’s home is like horrendously abusive and he runs away, and Ponyboy gets bounced around a ton. They all reunite in a gas station

A lot of people have been talking about a Descendants AU so I’ve been thinking about that a lot

I haven’t mentioned this one but AU where the reason Darry takes care of his brothers isn’t parental death but neglect and abuse. But he high tails it out of there once he turns 18 and is fighting for his life to get custody of his brothers. It would start when Soda is about to turn 18 which means he’s going to live with Darry which would leave Ponyboy alone at home alone.

Also just Ponyboy at college :3