#snk fanficition

[marsbutterfly]

When My Heart First Called Your Name

Summary: In the middle of the night, your daughter has a nightmare and asks for a bedtime story. Little did you know, Hanji had already promised her something far better than your imagination.

a/n: hey everyone, it's been a while! this is purely self-indulgent, like honestly. This was written for myself atp. but I do hope some of you enjoy 🤍

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: non-canon au, fem!Reader, non-binary! Hanji Zoe, not beta read at al, they get hot and heavy at the beginning but it doesn't last, I didn't put a specific name for your daughter but I have one in mind hehehe.

 ao3 | wattpad | wc: 2.6k

Your eyes go through the same words in the book over and over again, the understanding or even the meaning of the sentences they form not truly entering your mind. You grow more annoyed with every re-read of the page and eventually, you place the book down on your lap, letting out a frustrated sigh.

The water sound that comes from the shower finally stops and the bathroom door swings open, filling the room with steam as the naked image of your partner emerges from it. Their body is wrapped in a black towel while a white one goes through their hair, scrunching up all the water out of their brown curls. They aren’t quite able to see without their glasses, but they don’t need them to realize you seem aggravated.

“Same problem as last night,” Hanji asks, walking around the bed so they stand by your side. You nod, using both of your hands to rub your face, a defeated sigh leaving your lips as the sound of their giggles fills the air. “It’s ok, maybe tomorrow you’ll finally be able to finish this chapter?”

You roll your eyes, “Shut up.” and as you attempt to push them, Hanji grabs hold of your arm, gently pulling you towards them. You can feel the warm sensation taking over your cheeks as you blush, their lips ghosting above yours before your bodies lace together in a delicate kiss. 

Your hands go through their face, appreciating the softness that now comes in contact with your fingers, the smell of their clean body enters your nose and it sends your heart ablaze. You can’t help but hum against their lips, the taste of the mouthwash dominating your taste buds as you allow them to take complete control of the situation.

Slowly, Hanji sits on the edge of the bed, pulling you on top of their body. You wrap your arms around their neck and your legs around their waist, your lips never ceasing to touch as your tongues continue to dance in perfect synchrony. Their right hand begins to carefully make its way under your shirt, gliding through your abdomen like it has known this path all along.

Your hips buck against theirs and you notice the goosebumps that rise throughout their body. An amused giggle leaves your throat and they can’t help but grunt in response, knowing you are only doing so to get any sort of reaction you can, they silently claim not to be happy, but you know otherwise.

Before the situation can go any further, you hear small footsteps approaching the room, the faintest knock on the door as a quiet voice whispers from the other side, “Mommy?” In a split second, you hop off Hanji’s lap and begin making your way to the door as they rummage through the closet to find a new shirt to wear.

“Yes, my love?” You ask, making eye contact with the sleepy three-year-old that stands on the other side, her eyes barely open as she holds her teddy bear close to her body, except she nearly drops it when she raises her arms, hoping to be picked up. You oblige, bringing her inside the room, “you should be in bed.”

Her eyes are trying to adjust to the brightness of the TV and you finally notice the mark of the tears that recently streamed down her face. She nuzzles her head against your chest, pouting ever so lightly as she whispers, “I had a bad dream.”

You begin to touch her hair gently, laying her down in the space between your side of the bed and Hanji’s, her little eyes following your spouse’s every move as she eagerly awaits for them to join the both of you under the sheets. Once they’re properly dressed, Hanji nearly comes running towards their family, eager to nuzzle themselves against the two of you.

“I hear you had a bad dream,” they say, whispering as they adjust the covers above your bodies. The little girl nods, hugging her stuffed animal tightly closer to her body. In response, both you and Hanji wrap your arms around her small body, leaving just the perfect amount of space for her to perfectly settle herself in, “would you like to talk about it?”

She shakes her little head in response, snuggling herself in between the two of you. “Would you tell me a story?” Her little voice is barely audible and it cracks in between a few words, a clear sign of how tired she is and how much she wants to go to bed, but is unable to.

“Sure, my love,” you respond, using your index finger to brush a strand of hair off of her face, “what kind of story would you like to hear tonight? Maybe Mama and I can keep the story about the little princess going and maybe tonight we’ll find out if she made friends with the dragon that guards her tower or not.”

You can hear a faint little giggle, closely followed by a yawn. She shakes her head, “No, I want Mama to tell me the special story I was promised.”

Even in the dark, you can tell that Hanji’s face is blushing. A puzzled expression takes over your face, not truly understanding what this mystery story is all about until your partner decides to break the silence, “Why not another time? Maybe when… mommy is at work?”

You look at them with a curious expression. You were always under the impression that Hanji was completely honest with you about things that go around at home while you are gone but, for some reason, you have a feeling that that hasn’t been the case lately, especially in this scenario. The young girl shakes her head once more.

“Mama, you promised,” she whines.

“Yeah, mama,” you join in, poking out your bottom lip as you wrap your arms around your daughter’s shoulders, “you promised!”

A defeated sigh escapes Hanji’s lips, their eye roll not going by unnoticed, but nevertheless, they settle under the covers, making sure their hand is touching your hair gently so they can play with the strands while telling their secret story. You make sure to adjust yourself, one arm supporting your head on the pillow while the other wraps around your daughter and Hanji, pulling both of them as close as possible.

With a deep breath, they turn off the lights, “you have to close your eyes for this one,” they say quietly, their voice barely louder than a whisper. You aren’t quite sure who they are talking to, so you make sure your daughter’s eyes are closed before shutting your own, the last thing you see is Hanji’s silhouette shifting on the bed.

“It was the middle of winter, one of the worst snowstorms I’ve ever seen in my entire life,” their voice is soothing and filled with a warm sensation, it is enough to awaken the butterflies that had finally settled down in your stomach from your interaction from earlier that night, “you weren’t even in your mommy’s belly yet, in fact, I don’t even think I had plucked you up yet, you were still flying around in a cloud, just waiting for the perfect moment where I would come get you.”

You can hear the faint sound of your child’s giggle as Hanji’s hand pokes her little belly. She’s still wiggling around, partially trying to escape your spouse’s tickle attacks and partially trying her best to find the most comfortable position but with no success.

“Anyway, the power was out and we decided to sleep next to the fireplace, under a massive pile of blankets. It was nice, we roasted some marshmallows for dinner and -”

“But you said I’m not allowed to have candy for dinner!” The sleepy voice comes from between the two of you. You can’t help but giggle in response, your eyes still closed as you place a gentle kiss on top of her little head. Hanji’s fingers still dangle in your hair, a smile stamped on your face the entire time.

“And you aren’t,” they responded with a smile of their own, “we ended up throwing up because we also drank hot chocolate!”

“Don’t tell her that!” You gently slap their arm playfully and they laugh, from the sounds they are making, you can tell they are pretending to be offended. Instead of continuing your fake argument, they continue their story, though you aren’t quite sure why this is the story they are telling.

“We ended up falling fast asleep as soon as we started feeling a little better. In the middle of the night, a really loud and scary sound came crashing down around the house and I remember waking up crying. I wasn’t sure where I was or what was happening. It was dark and…” their voice grew a bit quieter and a bit shaky, just ever so slightly that you would not notice if you hadn’t been together for this long, “it brought back some bad memories about some bad times.”

You reach one hand out to touch their arm, stroking the skin with your nails with just enough pressure not to tickle but not enough that it would hurt them. They let out a small sigh, their eyes closed shut in an attempt to shield their mind from the horrible memories that try to pry into their head. In response, your daughter nuzzles herself against Hanji’s chest, her little eyes closed as she silently comforts her parent.

“It’s ok,” you whisper, your fingers brushing against the skin of their cheek gently, noticing how they seem to be fighting off a few tears. Your voice is quiet and soothing as you look for any words that might come in handy in this situation but when nothing comes to mind, you simply offer them a way out, “you don’t have to keep going, she’s already half asleep.”

“I want to,” they say, placing a kiss on your fingertips and you nod, squeezing their arm softly to let them know that you are not going anywhere. With a deep breath, Hanji continues to tell their story. “My heart was beating so fast I felt like it was about to try and run away from my chest, the power was still out and the cold somehow got worse throughout the night, all I could feel was this horrible feeling in my stomach.”

They fall silent for a tiny bit, checking if your daughter is still awake or not, and, in response, they receive a little nudge from the young girl, her voice faltering as it comes out, “more,” that is all she can say. The two of you can’t help but laugh quietly, knowing that there was no denying your little princess anything her heart desired.

“I was crying for a few seconds until your mother woke up. I remember that she asked me what was wrong and when I couldn’t even talk, she just wrapped her arms around me. She hugged me so tightly that it felt like air wasn’t getting in my lungs but, in that moment, that was all I needed.”

You can feel your face burning up with embarrassment, the memory of that night makes your heart skip a beat as the details are coming back to your mind. It was just an ordinary night for you, one where you helped the person you love as they went through something that wasn’t their fault, so why is this the bedtime story your child wanted to hear?

“Even without knowing what was going on or why I was crying so hard in the middle of the night, she made sure to whisper in my ear that she would be with me no matter what time of day it was, she kept touching my arm in some way throughout the night and, if I’m not wrong, she even sang me to sleep,” they giggle and your face feels like it is heating up from embarrassment.

You want to say something in return, to maybe give some extra details into the memory but their voice is so gentle that the words immediately die in your throat. They continue to speak after a few seconds.

“She never asked me what I needed, she just… knew,” you can feel their eyes on you, even in the dark and you can’t help but look away for a second before feeling their fingers brushing against your face, a silent request to get you to look back at them. You comply with a sigh. “I’ve never had anyone just know what I needed like she did that night, and still does.”

By the time they finish speaking, you can hear the faint breathing of your child in between the two of you and you offer Hanji a smile, placing a strand of your daughter’s hair behind her ear. As you are about to tell your partner that you want to take her to bed, they already beat you to it.

Slowly, you watch as they wrap their arms around her small body, lifting her off the bed as gently as they possibly can. The path to her room was not very long so you found yourself walking in front of Hanji while opening the doors for them, it’s a small gesture but it does not go unnoticed.

Finally, the three of you walk past the door with the pink flower print, making your way into the comforting shade of yellow walls. For some reason, the night light that was once connected to the wall now finds itself on the floor and the two of you suspect that maybe your daughter accidentally unplugged it when moving around her bed, maybe that is the reason why she woke up crying this night and wasn’t able to go back to sleep by herself.

Carefully, they make sure to lay the little girl down on her bed, placing her stuffed animal right next to her on her pillow before tucking the two of them in, placing a small kiss on her forehead and one on the stuffed animal’s just for good luck. You can’t help but giggle in response, it was a ritual that you had developed since the day she was born.

“What was that all about? What even was her request?” You ask quietly as you stand against the doorframe, watching Hanji as they make sure the nightlight is completely plugged into the wall. As they walk past you, they wrap an arm around your waist, pulling you close.

“Well,” the blush on their face is clear as day, even in the darkness that engulfs the hallway, in response to their motion, you wrap your arms around their neck, “she asked me when I knew.” When you offer them a confused look in return, they continue, “That I loved you.”

Their response catches you by surprise and you can’t help but laugh quietly in response, your hands going through their hair before messing up their locks, well, at least making them look even messier than before. Your heart beats quickly in your chest and the butterflies who visited your stomach earlier return once more.

“Oh?” You ask teasingly, a smile stamped on your face like a child on Christmas morning, “That’s when you knew that you loved me?”

In response, with a smile of their own, Hanji nods, their fingers digging into the skin of your hips while their lips meet yours for a quick kiss. “You were always meant to be mine.”

“Always and forever?” You ask, placing your forehead against theirs.

In a hushed voice, barely louder than a whisper, they respond with the same intensity as if they had just screamed it at the top of their longs,

“Always and forever.”

[oh-theseus]

i hate you

pairing: eren jaeger x gn!reader

summary: you finally say the words that eren's been waiting to hear from you.

warnings: season 4 spoilers, arguing, NOT A HAPPY ENDING (all caps so hazel doesn't miss it this time), break up, lots of angst, slight violence (you give eren a good ole slap), swearing, mentions of death, mentions of murder

a/n: i saw a tik tok about how aot characters would react to you saying "i hate you" and i had a strong emotional reaction to it so this is me writing the prompt so we can suffer together. the tik tok is linked here so you should for sure go give it some love :)) also !!! the creator gave me permission to use their prompt in this - just so everyone knows !!! enjoy <33

eren felt like he was drowning.

the silence of his cell was so loud. he felt like his head was going to implode due to the sheer volume of nothingness that surrounds him. it's been like this for a few days now. just eren left alone with his thoughts and feelings. just like when the scouts had first found out he was a titan shifter. oh how far he'd come.

he felt an abundance of things as he stared at the cement floor. he felt relief, fear, anger - nearly everything but regret. he did not regret what he had done to marley. what he had caused the scouts to do. he didn't regret a single thing and would do it a thousand times over.

they needed to know what it felt like to watch their home burn. they needed to know the pain that he had been holding on to for nearly eight years now.

they deserved it.

mostly he thought of you though. he thought of what you thought of him. the letters he'd exchanged with you hadn't been what they used to be. there was no love in these letters - no small heart written after your name. they were short and they were formal. you spoke to him like everyone else did. like he was a man who had lost his humanity.

he supposed then that he did have a little regret. he regretted hurting you. but as much as he loved you, eren knew that his mission came first. his freedom came first. he realized that meant there was no hope for you and him. that he'd disappointed you too much this time. most of all, eren knew you hated him.

so when you somehow managed to convince hange to let you see him, eren was not delighted. he knew that this would be the end for you two. he knew that you'd leave this prison with angry tears on your face and clenched fists. he knew that you'd spend the rest of your day alone. you likely wouldn't speak much in the following days. he knew exactly how you were going to act. he knew everything.

"thought you forgot about me," eren greets, eyes meeting yours. you wear an expression that doesn't seem to fit you. you look conflicted. it's strange to see.

"wish i had," your reply is sharp. it's forced. but he knows you mean it.

"ah, well i'm sorry you can't," his eyes flicker away. to the mirror by the bars, the stain on the wall that looks like blood, the mouse hole near his bed, back to the floor. away from you. he can't look at you. "do us both a favor and just spit it out, yeah?"

you let out a scoff, and eren hears the shuffling of your feet as you move closer to the bars. he hears the soft clink of the ring he'd given you when you were much younger hitting the metal as you grab onto the bars.

"eren, look at me," you say desperately. you need to see his eyes. you want to see him and find regret in his expression. you need the comfort of his guilt. he doesn't look at you. "eren, please," you plead, voice cracking.

eren stands then, silently moving over to where you stand. at first his hands move to rest on top of yours the way he used to do, but he stops himself, and lets his hands fall to his sides. finally, his eyes meet yours. and he watches as you search desperately for what you want to find, and watches as you find nothing there. he watches as your eyes fill with tears, with sadness, and then he watches as they switch to anger.

he stands there as you extend your dominant arm into his cell and slap him. hard. the force makes his head turn slightly and his cheek burn. you watch as it starts to turn red, the faint outline of your hand forming.

you draw your hand back. you hadn't meant to do that.

"i'm sorry," eren whispers, just as you are about to say the same thing. you pause then and look at him with a wide eyed expression. sorry? how could he say he was sorry when you could so obviously see that he wasn't? it was beyond clear that eren held no remorse for what he had done. for who he had become. so how could he stand there and say sorry?

"you aren't. you aren't sorry, eren. not even a little bit. save your lies for someone you can fool. because that isn't me - not anymore," you reply, hurt and anger lacing your words with a deadly poison. a poison that eren didn't like, but one that he knew he'd created.

"i am. please, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to hurt you. i was doing what i thought was best for-"

"yourself! you were doing what you thought was best for yourself, eren! don't stand there and pretend to give a single flying fuck about anyone on this god damn earth except for yourself! you are selfish and self-centered. you don't care about any of us. and i'm not going to let you try to pretend that you do!" you shout, hands releasing the bars only to slam back onto them. metal hitting metal fills the room and both sets of eyes glance to the ring.

"i do care," he tries, hand raising to touch the ring on your finger. you don't realize that's what he's doing until his cold hand touches your warm one and you flinch back, away from the bars.

"liar," you reply, hand furiously taking your ring off and throwing it into his cell with him. a reminder of what could have been. if only he hadn't acted without you.

it grows quiet then, and you watch carefully as eren turns away from the bars for a moment before he begins pacing back and forth behind the bars. it's like watching a caged animal. he looks anxious, yet he looks calm at the same time. he's conflicted, you decide, just as he stops and stares right at you.

"is that all you have to say then? just wanted to return this stupid fucking ring and shout a little to make you feel better about yourself?" eren mocks, hands gripping the bars in front of him tightly. so tight that his knuckles turn white. "don't stand there and act like you didn't take lives too. i watched you kill officers trying to help families. you sent off thunderspears that killed dozens of people. so don't act all high and mighty."

"i did what i had to do to keep your sorry ass alive! do you think i wanted to do that? that's the difference between me and you, eren. you wanted to kill those people! you wanted to burn their homes to the ground and watch them run for their lives. i didn't! i wanted to go back to my home. i wanted to stay so far away from there that i would never have to hear the word titan again. don't make us to be equals when we aren't!" you shout again, hands clenching into fists at your sides. despite the space between you and him, eren can see the tears forming in your eyes. he knows they'll fall soon. you always cry when you're angry.

"they deserved it, why can't you see that? have you forgotten what they did to shiganshina? to us?" he shouts back, eyes trained on you. you want to shrink under his gaze.

"i haven't forgotten, eren. i just know how to manage my emotions," you taunt. this time eren's the one to slam his hands against the bars. he turns away from you and stalks to his sorry excuse of a bed and sits on the edge, eyes back to staring at the cement.

"i don't want to argue. you've said your piece - now go," eren states. it sounds like an order, and you know that it is. you know that staying here won't do any good. it'll just make you hurt more.

you stare at him for a few minutes, head tilting as he reaches down to the ground to pick something up. your ring - his ring technically. he'd given it to you after the battle of trost. it'd been a thing of friendship then, a promise to keep you safe. it became a thing of love eventually, a promise to one day live a peaceful life with you. and now, a ring of metal that did nothing but hurt both of you.

eren slides it onto his left pinky wordlessly.

"i wish the world had been kinder to you eren," you start to say, but eren extends a hand to stop you and lets it fall and lets his eyes meet yours.

"shut the fuck up. i don't want to hear anything you have to say, got it? i don't need your pity. i don't want it either. so go, leave. i never cared about you anyways. don't waste any more of my time than you already have." eren's words are sharp as a knife and cut you into many pieces like one too. you feel your tears finally fall, and before you can stop it, the words you'd been keeping trapped in your head for weeks now finally escape you.

"i hate you."

and there it was. those three words. the ones he'd been waiting to hear you say. the words you'd been trying not to say. it was funny, how similar an admission of hate was to admission of love.

"i know."

and the silence settles again.

he knew you hated him. he knew it with every fiber of him. that was the thought that kept him up at night. not the guilt of murdering so many people. not remorse for forcing his friends into a horrible position. the thought of you hating him. of you never speaking of him again. of you having children one day and not telling them of your first love. the thought of you never saying his name again with the same love and admiration you always had would haunt eren for the rest of his life.

and then you wipe your tears, stare for just a moment longer, and leave.

you issue no goodbye. you don't look when you hear eren slam a hand against the wall next to him. you leave him there. alone, and cold. you let the last thing he will ever hear you say be your admission of hating him, and you let his last image of you be you leaving him.

you're done with this war. but more so, you're done with eren.

taglist ;; @levis-hazelnut

[papijean]

behind the lens [11]

previous - series masterlist - next 

chapter summary: Paradis_Finest’s new video means choices have to be made. 

warning: DARK CONTENT, smut, 18+ only, unprotected sex, overstimulation, public sex, creampie, voyeurism(ish), dubcon, dacryphillia, breeding kink, sub armin, dom armin, spitting, biting, sex tapes, unsolicited dick pic, masturbation, corruption kink, choking, non-consensual video taping

word count: 6.5k

a/n: even though I totally spoiled the chapter I hope you all still enjoy lol. One chapter left!! I can’t believe we’ve come this far. 

The thrill of being with Paradis_Finest didn't leave your body even until the next day. The ache between your legs was only a heavenly reminder of what happened. That night you fell asleep to the sound of his moans engraved in your brain and the way his eyes shone when he came.

You were yet to tell anyone what happened. How could you when the weight of his ultimatum laid upon you? Of course, you wanted a good statistics grade, you needed it. But the idea of being fucked senseless like that whenever you so pleased? It sounded too good to be true.

Of course, without Levi's offer, you were still likely to pass the class. If you spent the next couple of weeks studying your ass off, you'd be fine. Ymir on the other hand? She'd be lucky to get course credits if you didn't tell Professor Ackerman who it really was. At this point, if you revealed his secret it would be for her, not for you.

Was it worth it?

Ymir's friendship always meant the world to you. She was counting on you for this and keeping Armin's secret would only mean a betrayal of her trust. This whole journey already had close calls of losing your friends, would this be the final tipping scale to lose everyone?

"Fuck," You breathed out. The dark ceiling you stared up at didn't help in any way to get you closer to your answer. Either answer ended in betrayal whether it be Ymir's or Armin's. Ymir and yourself could retake a stats class, Armin's education would come to a full halt and he'd never be able to recover.

The choice should have been clear and you still found yourself hesitating.

Since that afternoon you were yet to see any of your friends besides Mikasa. Between school and your own thoughts, you didn't have the time or the will to face any of them. Armin remained silent with his proposal, though you were sure he was already confident in what you were going to do.

A quiet knock on your door pulled you out of your whirlwind of thoughts. Mikasa poked her head in right after you yelled for her to come in. Her face was scrunched with concern at your solemn mood.

"Group chat is blowing up," She waved the bright screen of her phone towards you. The light switch was flipped up to illuminate your darkroom. Any other Friday at two in the morning you'd be out partying, tonight you were sitting alone in the dark. "You weren't answering I was worried."

Your phone was on silent, face down, and completely unaware of what was going on with your friends. However, you knew Mikasa's worry wasn't just coming from right now, the past few days you were quiet. Your phone held over three dozen notifications, most of them from the group chat she spoke of.

As you scrolled through the texts, your eyes widened and your heart rate quickened. This couldn't be happening.

'He posted another video!!!'

'Holy shit it's fucking hot'

The string of texts spoke about the newest video of Paradis_Finest. Ymir and Sasha fawned over it, saying it had to be the hottest one he's posted yet. It didn't seem Mikasa watched it yet, her commentary lacked until Ymir asked where you were. After that, the chat was silent.

New video? It couldn't be... You didn't even notice a camera set up, this couldn't be yours. He would have talked to you about it before posting it. Then again, you were far too distracted to look around the room to see if there was a camera set up at all.

Your heart raced as you reached for your laptop. Mikasa sat at your side as you pulled up a tab and typed in the name. Sure enough, a new video of his was posted and the thumbnail was all too familiar. Armin posted your video.

Hesitantly, you pressed play. The pain in your chest at how fast your heartbeat grew more and more as it began. Armin was good at playing off as someone else, but you? Eren, Jean, Porco... they all knew what you looked like beneath your clothes, they knew your sounds, your voice, they could easily recognize you.

Sweat accumulated along your hairline and the palm of your hands. You hoped Mikasa couldn't see you worry, unsure if you could play it off as something other than the fact your sex tape was posted online and already with thousands of views.

The video began with you lying on the desk, Armin's fingers coaxing sounds out of you until you were asking for his cock. The frame of the video ended just at your neck and right below his chest, both of your heads perfectly off-screen. You couldn't watch anymore, not with your roommate sitting right beside you and your anxiety shooting through the roof.

Armin Arlert was a fucking snake.

How dare he post that without telling you? All this talk about trust and he was so willing to break it in an instant. He knew you weren't like the other girls he fucked, you weren't in this for the money, you were in it for him. The fear of being posted like this never settled in until this moment.

"You okay?" Mikasa asked. It wasn't like you to pause one of his videos right off the bat, nor have such a concerning look in your eyes. Hopefully, she chalked it up to you just feeling unwell these past few days. "You've been off these past few days."

"I haven't been feeling well," you lied. "Final season started, keeping getting these headaches, you know?"

"Yeah," Mikasa nodded. "I'll uh, I'll leave you to watch it I guess." Not that you never watched them together before - in an analytical way - but by your attitude right now she felt like you needed to be alone. Mikasa paused at your door, clearly wanting to say something but closed it instead.

Insurance Policy. Fuck of course he would post it. Armin's trust for you ran deep, but with the posting of that video, you were now just as deep in trouble as he was if it were to get leaked. His plot to keep himself safe went as far as you, not just random girls he didn't know.

"Fuck."

><

Armin knew it was you who entered his room before he even turned around.

He could hear the heavy footsteps enter the apartment and stomp straight to his door. Without even bothering to knock you entered his closed room. Armin sat at his desk, an array of books scattered around his laptop and his desk lamp on. He knew damn well the reason you were there was because of the video.

After class the next day you went straight to his apartment. You were yet to watch more than just the first two minutes of your video. As soon as you tried you got flush full of embarrassment and anxiety. It was impossible to get through it without lashing out at him and finding the reason he posted it.

Thankfully when you arrived, Eren was yet to get home meaning you didn't have to worry about him overhearing your conversation. Armin wore a small smile, the same one he gave you when you came over to study with him last time you were there. His ability to switch from himself to the infamous pornstar was eerie.

"What the fuck?"

He could have played dumb, pretended not to know what you were talking about. It was no use to, the tantrum you were going to throw was about to happen either way. Instead, he spun around on his chair, maintaining a pose that oozed dominance.

"Come on are you really naive enough to think I wasn't going to make a video?" Armin got straight to the point. Your mouth opened to retaliate but no words came out. He was right, you should have known this was going to happen and yet you believed it was just a regular hook-up for him.

You sat on the edge of his bed, no longer flaming the fire you held in your chest. Defeat filled you. Armin's decision to post that video forced you to make a decision. You were going to have to betray Ymir, you couldn't risk yourself getting in trouble over these. Armin's fate, your fate, all those other girls who chose this path, you couldn't destroy that many lives.

"You bastard."

"I've done nothing out of character," Armin didn't sound like he was trying to defend himself, more so just state the facts. He knew your choices before you were even going to make them. Everything was just a chess game to him.

"I'll accept your deal," you finally breathed out. Not that you had much of a choice anymore. Armin took your options away from you the moment he uploaded that damn tape. You couldn't turn him in, not when your own life was on the line too. Truthfully, betraying Armin like this wasn't something you were sure you had the guts to do anyway.

How many times did he help you out? How many times did he keep a watchful eye on you just to make sure you were okay? Armin was always someone you could rely on, and he put his entire trust in you to keep this secret of his.

"I knew you would, whether or not I posted," Armin shrugged. He knew you too well, always has. Nonetheless, he could still see the worry in your eyes at being so exposed. "You have nothing to worry about, (Y/N). Your face isn't shown and your name isn't spoken. I'm not going to put your life on the line like that."

"I know you wouldn't," it was the truth. You did trust Armin, even when he'd given you so many reasons not to anymore. It was beyond frustrating to see how far your trust ran with him. How long would this deal go on? Until he got tired of you? Until your identities got leaked? Graduation? It didn't matter really, your name was on the deal. "I wish you would have let me know first."

Armin pushed himself off his chair and onto the bed next to you. His hand rested on your thigh but made no movements. "You're right, I should have," Armin admitted. "I'm sorry."

"What if Eren or Porco realize-"

"They won't," Armin assured you. He sounded so confident with his words, it was hard not to believe him. "A few of the girls Eren's already slept with before, he never noticed once. You have nothing to worry about (Y/N). I promise this is going to stay between us - unless you're the one who says something about it. Trust me"

He was genuine, you could tell. However, the lingering remorse in his tone kept you wondering why he didn't bother to tell you about posting it at all. He could have easily sent you a text beforehand. It was frustrating, though there was nothing you could do about it now.

"Did you watch it?" Armin sounded excited. He looked too eager for your liking, and yet the look in his eyes really did make you want to watch it.

"No, I couldn't bring myself to do it. Feels weird knowing it's me."

"You're the best part of it though. So beautiful, couldn't stop watching it you just kept getting me hard," Armin informed. You felt your neck heat up at his words. How many times has he seen it? How many times did he touch himself to it? How many people got off to watching you get fucked senseless?

The video had thousands of views in a matter of days. Armin was sure in a week's time it'd be his most popular one. Everyone was going to get off to your sloppy cunt and to be honest the idea of it excited you. All those eyes watching you, wishing they were you or wishing they could be the one to fuck you - it was thrilling.

Just like in the library with Jean, you felt the same kind of exciting pleasure with the thought of someone watching you. Maybe you really were Armin's perfect match.

You cleared your throat, trying to move past the idea of Armin stroking his own cock while rewatching your video together. "So what's going to happen now? I call you up whenever I feel horny? Fuck buddies?"

"Whatever you want to call it. Paradis_Finest is yours to do as you please. Tapes, no tapes, personal tapes. It's whatever you want. Any time any place. I'm yours (Y/N), for however long you want me."

><

Armin didn't expect you to take up his offer so quickly. He didn't think you'd be knocking on his door at four in the afternoon with your textbooks in hand and an ache between your legs. You'd ran into Eren on the way to his room, trying to get through the conversation as quickly as you could.

Since your time with Armin, you didn't have the time or the will to think about anyone's cock but his. Eren wasn't on your mind any longer, nor Jean. Porco tried to keep in touch with you but it was clear you were no longer in hooking up with him and just merely his friendship. No one mattered besides him when it came to your sexual desire.

The sudden change went unnoticed by your friends. Ymir was the only one to press about Porco and the fact you needed to find out if he was the one making the tapes. With some pathetic lie, you told her for certain it wasn't him. The semester dwindled down and you were having trouble keeping this secret as she continuously asked you.

Guilt began to fill you for having to lie to your friends like this. Ymir was desperate to find the truth and you not only knew it but made the choice to keep it from her. If Armin wanted to tell your friends, that was his decision, not yours. Until then, you would have to learn to lie like him.

"Getting so good at stats, baby," Armin encouraged.

Part of his promise included helping you in the class. Just because you couldn't tell your professor, it didn't mean he wanted you failing the class. Armin was a near-genius, if anyone could help you get through it, it was him. However, it was impossible to keep yourself on track.

The desire in your core was getting to be too much when he was sitting so close to you and smelled so incredible. You wanted to feel that same pleasure as before, you craved it. Unfortunately, he didn't cave until he was satisfied with your results from studying.

He tested you for hours, teasing you along the way as well. It wasn't until you got every question of his right did he reward you. The quiet music in his room was turned up several notches, though it didn't matter too much. Eren was gaming in his room next door and his headphones would block out every noise you let out as Armin nestled between your thighs.

"Enjoying your reward for doing so well?" Armin toyed at your nipples. Your legs wrapped around his waist as he jacked himself into you. You didn't even need to answer him, the choked moans and evident slickness was enough. His tone was so different now than it was when he was teaching you. It was no wonder you never suspected it to be him, he was a completely different person.

"Y-yes," you nodded. "Thank you."

"Of course, anything for you," Armin assured. Studying, sex, he was happy to help with both. Studying always came easy to him and helping you was nothing new. Rewarding your good behaviour with sex? He couldn't deny how much he wanted this all those other times he helped you out.

As his pace picked up, so did your volume. He slapped a hand over your mouth with a little more force than he realized. He leaned down to your level, warm breath against your ear.

"Eren's right next door, doll. Don't want him to hear you, do you? I know how thin these walls are, you're gonna have to be quieter than that, or I'm going to have to stop," he threatened. Armin wanted you to scream his name, to get his revenge from the time Eren fucked you next door. He couldn't, not when you refused to tell your friends about the truth.

You nodded against his hand, keeping quiet was hard but the motivation for him to continue was enough. He kept at your neck, kissing your soft skin but refusing to leave a mark. Armin's hips slowed, reaching deeper inside you and leaving you digging your nails down his back.

"You like getting off knowing you could get caught, don't you?" Armin whispered. He could feel you tighten around him when he mentioned Eren hearing. You did, fuck did you love the idea of someone walking in on you getting railed stupid. "Just like me, (Y/N). Fuck your pussy's just made for me."

><

"Put all this work into these videos and you never even bothered to watch your own yet?"

Armin was quick to find out you were yet to watch the tape he made with you. He wasn't impressed, at all. You were lucky Mikasa was out for the night because he was over in an instant. Your laptop was on the edge of your bed and his hand on your throat kept your eyes on the screen.

You struggled to breathe, both with his hand and the way your face was squished into your sheets. Armin had you watching yourself, volume full blast so you could appreciate every moan of yours. He wanted you to witness just how incredible you were for him, to show you what his view was every time he had the luxury of fucking you. It's the unedited version, your faces in full view, and the scenes he cut out.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," you cried. Tears prickled your eyes, barely able to take what he was giving you. Armin played your tape on repeat, refusing to stop fucking you until you've practically memorized the video, it had to be the third time you've watched it by now. Your hole was incredibly overstimulated and cumming again seemed like an impossible feat. "Pl-please, Armin, too much, you're giving me too much."

"You can take it," Armin snarled. His hips only snapped harder into you with your pleas of him giving too much pleasure. How much can you take babygirl? How many times can I get you cumming for me before you've finally had enough?

Your body was already too pliable to his grasp. Your fists were bunched in the sheets, not that it did you much good in Armin's wake. Between his cum and your own, your bedding was ruined. Pools of his sticky white release dripped down your legs. He was so easy to make cum when he got double the view of watching you get fucked. It was also just as easy to get him hard again.

It wasn't just you who was on the verge of collapse with overstimulation, it almost hurt for Armin to reach his next release. The tip of his cock was flaming red with pleasure and every time he kissed your cervix with it he cried in pleasurable pain. Over and over again he did this to himself, unable to stop his hips from jutting into you, unable to admit he himself couldn't handle anymore.

"Armin, Armin, Armin," You choked out. The video was coming to an end once more and if he still wasn't satisfied with you, he'd play it again and fuck you through it. Tears stained your sheets, eyes blurred and unable to watch the screen ahead of you. His hold on your throat tightened, turning your head so you watched the video properly.

Armin's got tears of his own welled up in his eyes. Every thrust of his has become sloppy and irregular but you can't even tell with how fucked out you are. He nearly wails as you squeeze around him, creaming on his cock for the - fuck he can't even remember how many times anymore.

It hits you harder than ever before. The lack of oxygen only propelling you into a deeper void of pleasure. You can't control your voice, the way you beg for him to fuck you through it and how you chant a mix of his name and curses. It's too much, way too much for you sloppy cunt.

"Fuck, (Y/N)," Armin's voice is hoarse - he sounded so sexy like this, enough to make you want to cum again from his voice alone. He always knows just the right things to say to you, but his tone is always the driver's edge. "Pl-please one more, I want to feel one more."

"Can't," You whine. His hold on your neck is gone, the video no longer rolling through. All you could hear was the slapping of his balls on your ass. Never in your life have you experienced such overwhelming amounts of pleasure. "S'too much."

"Please, please one more," Armin begs. It's hard to say no when he whines like this. You can also tell by the tone he's using he's at his limit as well. "Please, pretty girl." He's not even giving you the chance to answer, already rutting his hips into you like a desperate teen having his first time. Armin's dwindled himself down to nothing but pure primal need.

In an instant you become a babbling mess, uncontrollable shaking fills your legs as he presses against your sensitive spot again and again. His fingers leave bruises in your hips like it's the only thing keeping him upright. The build-up in your core hurts this time, it's unbearably good and you can't express it in any other way than a sob.

"Fuck, I can't-" Armin isn't even able to finish his statement. The tears he's been holding in this whole time spill down his cheeks as you clamp on his cock a final time. He can't even move with the way you're holding him in. His cock twitches inside you as another load of cum fills you. "Oh god-" he cuts himself off a second time. It doesn't feel like this orgasm is ever going to end.

His whole body hurts. Never has he pushed himself like this, forcing too many orgasms out of his body and yours. He has to bite the back of his hand to keep himself from sobbing as he pulls out of you. His cum seeps from your already soaked folds. Armin knows you can't take another touch and yet he can't stop himself from wiping it up and fingering it back into you.

"Ah!" You can't stop your yelp, or how your hand shoots back to stop his movements because the slightest graze has your chest heaving. Your walls spasm at his touch, pushing more cum out and edging him to fuck it back in. "No- Armin, please."

"I'm sorry, doll. You just look so good pumped full with my cum."

><

Nothing was more empowering than to have the great Paradis_Finest a whining mess below you.

Armin came to you with a bad mood and a hard dick. He knew the terms of your deal was you were the one who got to choose the time but he couldn't help himself from coming over in hopes you'd make him feel better. He was a manipulative asshole who could easily work your feels into his own.

He was the one who made you feel bad for his mood like it was nothing. Armin's brain worked like no other, he was so easy to fool people and even better and making them pity him. The poor little blonde who always gets forgotten. As if.

After seeing through the biggest lie of his life, you could break apart his attempts at any other. You played his little game, accepted his pouts and lazy hands on your body. He'd get his lay, but not how he wanted. If Armin showed up with intentions to fuck his frustration out, his plan was going to change.

"Hmm, it is nice having a view like this," your hand rested on his chest, the other roaming your body. His fingers were locked together behind his head and unmoving with your request. Armin's face was flush red with lust, his cheeks so brightly pink you forgot he wore pale skin beneath. "You look so pretty for me, baby."

"U-using my own line against me?" Armin stuttered over his words. Your tits were in such a perfect view for him and he couldn't even reach out to grab them. Fuck he hated this, he hated it so much. Nonetheless, he couldn't deny the copious amounts of cum ready to burst from his swollen balls.

"Feels good seeing you beneath me," You grinded down on him, nails digging down his chest. Armin jutted his hips up to meet yours, his mouth hanging open in pleasure. It was so different seeing him like this, but so satisfying all the same. Armin was willing to give his body to you. "How much do I need to tease you to see you beg for me?"

"Please let me cum, (Y/N), please you feel so good using my cock," Armin didn't need to be teased any longer. He wasn't ashamed to beg for pleasure, it was his day job to seek pleasure. Begs, pleas, whines, he'd do it all to chase a high, especially when it came from you. "I've been good for you, I haven't touched you just like you asked."

Fuck, oh fuck he sounded so good like this. No amount of his dirty talk could ever compare to the sound of him begging for you to let him cum. This was the Armin you expected, and this side of him was one only you could make shine. Paradis_Finest never allowed himself to be under a woman, but Armin Arlert? He wanted you on top of him always.

Your palm dragged up his chest, nestling at his neck. Armin looked up at you with big, desperate eyes as if screaming 'yes' at you. Obliging, your fingers pressed into his neck, cutting off airflow until he was moaning so loud it was almost embarrassing.

"Cum for me, pretty boy."

><

"I know you're just doing this out of spite."

Armin promised to take you to the library to study. It was naive to think that was all he wanted. Your books were scattered across the table as he sat at your side, no longer going over his work but yours. The loose skirt you wore was hiked up your thighs and your underwear pushed aside as he pumped his fingers into your pussy.

With finals coming the building was getting busier but that didn't stop him from dragging you away from the place you were working and towards the same section Jean brought you to weeks ago. Armin had you against the wall, one leg hoisted up and his lips never leaving yours.

He swallowed your moans and bore the nails digging so hard into his skin they drew blood. Of course, it was out of spite. Armin wasn't going to just let your memory of the library be filled with Jean.

"Are you complaining?"

"No," Your head leaned against the cement wall behind you. Armin took the chance to kiss up your neck, his teeth ghosting over your pulse point. "Gotta make me cum harder than Jean did or it's all for nothing, though."

For the first time ever Armin bit into your neck possessively. His palm was already over your mouth to hide your surprised moan - like he knew exactly how you were going to react. Armin was slowly learning everything about your body. It would take an idiot not to realize Armin hated the mention of you having someone else's cock inside you.

He squeezed your cheeks, forcing your jaw open for him.

"Tongue out," he instructed. You stuck it out as far as you could, wondering what he was planning for you. Armin stuck his own out, dangling it right above yours and letting his spit trickle onto your pink tongue. When it threatened to overspill he let go of your cheeks. "Swallow."

You did, then stuck your tongue back out to show all his spit was gone. "Good girl," Armin caressed your sore cheeks. His hips smacked into yours, getting a little too loud for the venue you were in. "My good girl. If you want Jean's cock instead of mine I can't stop you but we both know damn well he'll never make you cum like I can."

It was very true. But pulling this side out of him was something you always adventured towards. Armin got this look in his eye whenever he thought about someone else's dick inside you - especially Eren. For years he had to listen to Eren's hookups and having to listen to yours was the final push.

"Why are you being so quiet now, am I not fucking you good enough?" Armin questioned. Your lip was between your teeth, trying to lessen the already loud noises coming from you both. His thrusts became hard and slow, now taking his precious time with you. "Don't tell me you're scared of getting caught now. I thought you liked having all eyes on you."

><

"Stop looking at the camera."

You felt awkward under the hard gaze of the lens. Last time, you didn't even know it was there, but this evening it felt as if it was right in your face. You couldn't stop tensing up every time you glanced over at it. Armin could tell you were nervous, even when you had no reason to be.

"This is just for you, no one else is going to see it," Armin assured. His lips encased your nipple, tongue swirling around the perky bud in hopes to get you to relax from under him. The lazy pace of his fingers sped up, diverting your attention to him even more. He knew how to get you to have all your senses on him.

"Not even you?"

"If you don't want me to watch it, I won't," Armin promised. A thin line of drool trailed his tongue as he moved to your other nipple. Your nails dug into his back, breath hitching as he curled his fingers. His lips curled into a grin against your skin. "Whatever you want, sweetheart. I'll do it. But I want you to see how beautiful you look taking me."

"Do you want to watch it?" You asked though you were sure you already knew the answer. Armin was so slick with his movements. He rolled off of you and pulled you against his chest in a singular motion. In an instant, his fingers were replaced with the hard tip of his cock. His large hand cupped the crook of your knee, lifting your leg up in the air to expose that dripping, desperate hole of yours.

His breath was hot against your skin as he spoke.

"I'd watch you babbling on my cock all day if I could, doll," Armin nipped at your ear. Slowly, he pushed his hips into your ass, moaning straight into your ear. He hated not being able to see your face in the moment, but it would be well worth it in the video later on. Armin whimpered at the thought of watching it over and over again until his wrist hurt and his balls couldn't take any more.

"Maybe if I'm lucky enough you'll let me watch it with you again," Armin planted the idea in your mind. He nipped and sucked at the back of your neck, not afraid to hold back his marks that would later be hidden behind your hair. Unsteady breaths were forced out of your chest as he stretched you. "I thought you liked having all eyes on you, hmm?"

"Do," you managed out. Armin knew better than anyone that you liked being watched - or caught. He knew the thrill of it, how nothing could compare. "Want you to watch, Min. Want you to watch me again and again."

Armin's fingers pressed hard into your thigh and his teeth into your skin. He adored having you wanting him to watch. "Fuck," he whispered. "I'll watch you baby. I'll watch you every fucking day if you want me to. You just love being in front of the camera for me, don't you? My good girl."

><

The day before your stats final. Levi's offer was less than twenty-four hours before expiry meaning it was your last chance to change your mind. Ymir was cramped up in your room, studying away on your desk as you sat on your bed with your laptop beside you. She was clearly freaking out about the test while you remained a little too calm.

You had Armin's help to prep you and you felt good about the final exam. Ymir was envious of your calm state.

Neither of you spoke to Levi alone since his mention of his offer. Truthfully, you were scared to face him. The professor had these eyes that made you want to tell the truth and you knew damn well you wouldn't be able to keep it in with him. Facing him wasn't an option, maybe not even until after this exam.

The fantasy you once had with him was long gone. Armin did exactly what he wanted and replaced every idea with him instead. You only craved him, no one else. His vice lock on you extended to more than just sex, Armin completely encased your life in only a matter of weeks.

"I can't believe we couldn't do it," Ymir groaned. Her head hit the hard wood of your desk with a thud. The past two weeks involved keeping up your investigation with her and the girls, trying to find new leads and possibilities. At that point in the semester, you couldn't afford to make a move unless you were positive - at least that was the excuse you used to avoid fucking others.

No one else came to the possibility, and Ymir was noticing you didn't have the same excitement about it anymore. She didn't push as hard with you. You had given up, and without you, she couldn't do it. Your focus on finding Paradis_Finest slowly turned to your studies instead.

"I'm sorry," you still felt guilty for leaving her in the dark. Maybe once this whole thing was blown over you would confess the truth. Until then, Armin knew best. "I wish we could have done it too."

"It's okay, I suppose it was just a pipe dream anyway. The offer was too good to be true," Ymir sighed. There were tens of thousands of kids at your school, finding just one should have been impossible - if it wasn't the one person right under your nose. Ymir's words were true, unless she knew what you knew. "I don't think my curiosity will ever go away. He'll go down in history as Paradis University's most famous unknown."

"You're right about that." Armin really would be known for years after his graduation. People would be talking about his videos for a long time - maybe some even bold enough to try and recreate them. There would never be another Paradis_Finest. He was the only one who could pull it off.

Ymir's phone rang with a text as she opened her mouth to speak again. She read the words before letting out a sigh. "It's Historia, she's freaking out about her exam tomorrow. I should go check on her."

"Yeah, of course," You nodded. It must have been nearing three hours she was cramped up in your room doing some last-minute studying. One of your exams was early that morning and you were about ready to crash anyway. "If I don't get to see you tomorrow, good luck."

"Yeah, you too," Ymir nodded as she shoved her laptop into her back. "Thanks for the help tonight, I really needed it."

"You'll do fine. It's your last exam and then you're free for four months," you waved off her thanks. Ymir rolled her eyes. She waved as she left your room, closing the door on her way out. A loud sigh passed your lips. Maybe once this semester was over Armin would be willing to confess so you didn't have to live with this burden any longer.

You tucked away your notebooks and began to get ready for bed. Mikasa was already asleep, her exam being the earliest possible time tomorrow and she clearly wanted a good rest beforehand. After locking the apartment door, you headed back to your room to crawl into bed. Your mind raced with things you needed to remember for the test the next day and surely you'd be up half the night thinking about it.

If you failed this, was it worth it to keep it all a secret? Or was having to retake a single class an acceptable loss to keep Armin on track with his life. No, no you felt good about this exam, he helped you for hours to get here. Failing now would only mean all his hard work was for nothing. You couldn't disappoint him.

A Snapchat notification lit up your phone. Armin. He never used the app, always opting to text you whenever he needed to talk to you. It was a video - even more surprising. You turned the volume up before playing it. Immediately you felt your cheeks warm.

Armin was laying in his bed, his hand stroking his cock with a video of you playing on his laptop. The personal his-eyes-only videos seemed to already be coming in handy. He must have had the microphone right up to his lips because his quiet moans were crystal clear to your ears. The bright light of his phone lit up every curve of his torso and illuminated the pretty veins in his cock.

There really was no one as beautiful as him. Armin's hand sped up, and the silent whimpers becoming louder. He moaned your name right as his cum shot onto his chest and onto the lens of his phone.

The video was short, focusing on his release instead of his build-up to get there. He wrote in the chat as well. 'Wish it was your pussy instead. Good luck on stats tomorrow!'

'Do I get a reward if I do good?'

'Whatever you want if you do good on it. If you do bad though... All my precious time helping you study was wasted then. We wouldn't want that to happen would we?'

-

@stolemyheart12 @nerdy-weeb-7120 @riverxr @subtleappreciation @jennie-rubyjane @bribridee23 @hoeyadoingbitch @marie-is-in-the-dark @a-giaks98 @grandetan @thestrugglesofateenagedirtbag @automaticpersonaauthorsuitcase @captainstarnoir @itzninahoe @mjaudrey @healpeony @mistasgirl @zombiiedroid-blog @internethome @katsuhera @eremiie @murmikaa @moomii-hime @ackermans-brat @katsuyav @idkwhybutthisisokay @goldthread-galdyherud @usernamehere91 @awilddreamerwrites @empressackerman  @satorisflatass @ro2424 @ijustwanttobehippie @glittrkink   @oldiezbutgoodies @bathtimejish  @angelalje @oikawasbuttcheeks @handheldwhore @yes-i-am-trash @lightofcordonia @where-is-my-diffuser @bratkugo @sarcasticallydrowning @tadpolefics @calumsfringe @umekryy @kyojinsimp @redcandykiss @amajikiswifey @mixedfeeelings @pricetagofficial @ilovecondensedmilk @armins-futon​ @

[wrctings]

Jean Kirschtein x reader | Friends, or is it more?

the more i watch aot, the more i love jean... his moments of self-doubt and his moved smile truly are heart-wrenching 🥺

fandom: Attack on Titan pairing: Jean Kirschtein x reader summary: Where you realise that you’re falling for your best friend, whose heart is already taken—or so you thought. Fortunately, what becomes a saddening party can also turn into an unexpected occasion to make things right. word count: 3.3k

Sometimes, belonging to the Scouts regiment came with something that, from up close, resembled a flicker of momentary joy. You had, of course, been aware of the harrowing shadow of a reputation that trudged behind the wings of liberty: danger, death and despair; the three Ds accompanying your pledge to humanity drummed their deafening beat alongside your horse's frenzied gallop whenever you took place in the formation that led you outside the walls, the wind hurling through your hair and your senses at the height of their tension, ready to signal the approach of a titan at any given minute, bracing your body for every possible threat. You had faith in commander Erwin, had faith in your comrades—if giving your life was necessary for your cause, then, you had silently promised yourself and your people, you would give it with eyes wide open and undefeated fierceness, be it in the heat of battle or any other way. The wings embroidered upon your cape represented your beliefs more intensely than any word—as long as there was a Scout left, hope would live still; blossom upon the tall grass that freely grew upon the tombs of your fallen comrades. Even the smallest victory made you believe that a change could be made—and even the smallest victory was celebrated in the battalion as a sign that bode well for the foreseeable future. It was such celebrations, though as small as the victories they marked, that made room for moments of joy the regiment could barely encounter at other times. And when those moments came, life suddenly appeared coated with a hundred colours, full of humorous idiocies and heedless amusement that stirred up in you all the youthful glee of not caring about a thing in the world but the people around you and the drink in your hand.

"You guys won't believe the position we found Bertholdt in this morning!"

Seated beside Armin, who himself flanked Eren as Mikasa had naturally settled on the other side of their childhood friend, you leaned further on the wooden table of the barrack in order to hear your brunet friend more distinctly, his excited voice reviving the conversation at once. Drawn by a cheerful and carefree sort of curiosity, which was well fueled by the general bright mood, finding out about Bertholdt's daily sleeping position suddenly appeared like the most fascinating event one could discuss, especially when followed by the boys' weather previsions based on their comrade's often strange and tangled up poses. You exchanged an amused look with Mikasa, and though your friend's features remained almost as impassive as usual, the vivid twinkle you caught through the dark shine of her eyes mirrored your cheery behaviour; Armin's face, on the other hand, wore an expressive smile, the blond boy remembering vividly the description of Bertholdt that Eren began recounting.

But even as you laughed at the image of Bertholdt's knees somehow managing to stay bent as he slept on his stomach, the upper part of his legs outstretched toward the sky in an unusual—to say the least—position, your gaze went on sweeping the room, in search of the one person you couldn't wait to chat with again, though you also got along really well with Armin, Mikasa and Eren. The only problem was, said person was not that fond of the self-righteous brunet ball of energy sat at your table, so you were not surprised to find him in Conny and Sasha's company instead, talking animatedly. You had already had the opportunity to chat with Jean earlier that evening, the two of you having grown so close to each other that it would've been impossible for you not to cross paths tonight, but you wondered whether you would drift toward each other again before the makeshift party came to an end; Captain Levi had been surprisingly unbothered by your shy request to celebrate today's mission's success, accepting it on the sole condition that only soft drinks were to be consumed—Armin suspected that Commander Erwin was responsible for granting the new recruits' wishes, as they had after all already endured quite a lot during the expedition to retrieve Eren from Annie.

"We better watch out for that sleeping position of Bertholdt's, maybe it means good luck," Armin observed lightheartedly, taking a sip from his drink.

"You should keep a notebook with all of them, and maybe you'll crack the code someday," you added with a chuckle, the three of you glancing at Bertholdt.

Having your 104th comrades with you in the Scouts regiment really did bring you a lot of comfort to help you navigate these new uncharted waters, though it also made it acutely unbearable to imagine that some of them might not make it back next time; Marco served as your first and most painful lesson that even those dearest to you were never safe. It was after the freckled boy's death that you and Jean had truly bonded, brought together by the devastating loss of your kindhearted friend. You had become each other's rocks since then—checking up on each other after training sessions and expeditions, playful teasing and calling each other all sorts of funny nicknames rooted into the core of your friendship, giving it all its strength. And it was when you had been injured during the 57th expedition and Jean had almost hysterically ran up to you afterwards, cursing with no restraint and holding your arm so tightly it hurt when he helped you limp toward the medical wing, that you had been hit for the first time, though still shaken from slaying a titan and the bloody cut burning your leg, by how grateful you were to have made it out alive, to have Jean by your side. It was then that you had realised that there was no one else you would rather be with than him—it was something more than anything you've ever felt before, as your timidly pounding heart had been reminding you ever since.  

But another thing unavoidable when being friends with Jean, of course, was the bickering between your comrade and Eren—and this evening was no different from any other week. A few minutes later, as you engaged in a pleasant conversation with Armin, your attention was drawn by the thunderous eruption of voices that suddenly shook the walls of the barrack, making many pairs of surprised eyes turn toward the belligerent protagonists of the argument. It just had to be Eren and Jean, hadn't it? Like the rest of your comrades, you couldn't possibly guess where the spark that ignited this new inferno came from, but with these two, a valid reason often wasn't needed; to the greatest despair of the 104th, both boys possessed magic powers to summon reasons to fight out of thin air. At the present moment, both Eren and Jean were actively yelling at each other, shooting names and accusations back and forth.

However, the lack of rational incidents to cause such a scene didn't mean that there was no deeper reason for Jean's outbursts, just like Eren's counter-attacks originated from his legendary stubbornness already well-known to his fellow comrades. You had been suspecting for a long time that Jean mainly proclaimed his hatred towards Eren because of Mikasa. Before the 57th expedition, when both of you were in a playful and mischievous mood, you would even friendlily tease Jean about his soft spot for the dark haired young woman, which he hadn't hidden very well ever since Mikasa and he met for the first time. It was quite unfortunately, really, that your heart had finally chosen Jean, of all people, to fall for—as if you weren't well aware of how much he admired and liked Mikasa! And this mascarade surely had to have been orchestrated to get her attention, just like many other failed schemes of Jean's, as Mikasa barely seemed interested in anyone but Eren, Armin, sometimes Sasha, and you.

"There he goes again..." You muttered downheartedly, sparing a glance at your best friend.

"It's Eren and Jean, after all..." Armin responded with a sorry smile, squirming on the bench to get further away from Eren, who was now up on his feet and facing Jean with balled up fists. Mikasa watched the two boys through squinted eyes, at the ready to jump and knock over Jean if needed—at least, your friend's plan to get her attention had succeeded.

"I know how this is going to end," you told Armin under your breath, averting your gaze from the fighters. "You know what, I think it's right about time for me to head off. I don't want to witness Captain Levi tearing their heads off for wrecking havoc in here."

"Really? Don't you want to stay a little longer? I'm sure it won't come to this!"

"I don't even want to know. Goodnight, Armin, thank you for the nice chat," you excused yourself, fleeing from the barrack swift as a cat, only the passage of a furtive ray of light on the floor signifying that the door to the room had been opened as quickly as it was closed.

You knew better than to cling onto something you could not reach, so why endure the spectacle of such a foolish play?

*

Outside, nighttime had descended upon the camp with its soothing quietness. Nothing in sight but the warm flutter of torches fixed upon the barracks; nothing ringing in your ears but the chirping melody of a cricket's song, its echo delicately carried away by the evening wind. No ecstatic shouting, no blaring laughter. Nothing but a lone constellation half-veiled by the grey trail of clouds that unhurriedly floated upon the dark depths of the sky. No Jean, no Eren. You took a lungful of fresh air before a long sigh lifted off your chest—if only things could go back to the way they had been. Back when Jean was nothing but a fun and (sweetly) annoying horse-faced boy to be around, and no cause for heartache.

You took some more steps ahead, the muffled sounds you could still hear from inside dying out as you walked further away. Although you had told Armin that your time to go had come, you didn't feel like getting back to bed right now; actually, you didn't feel like anything but escaping for a little while.

At last, you decided to retrace your steps, taking a seat on the ground beside the barrack you had abandoned, your back pressed against its wooden surface. On the other side, the cacophony hadn't ceased, only muffled by the wall that separated you from the inside mayhem. Had Jean and Eren opted for a fistfight denouement by now? Would Mikasa intervene?

But before you had enough time to explore the many scenarios your imagination could sketch out, the door beside which you had settled opened abruptly, a wide stream of light flooding the ground at once. In the blink of an eye, a visibly disconcerted figure appeared on the threshold, freezing as they took a look around before rapidly bifurcating to the side in order to follow one of the torchlit paths...

"Jean?"

"Y/n?! What are you doing here?" Jean rushed toward you as soon as he noticed your silhouette from behind the shadows, discovering your hiding-place. "I didn't even see you leave..."

"I'm sorry, I was starting to feel tired." Touched by the fact that Jean had left the room to look for you, you attempted to give him a plausible excuse.

"C'mon, you can get through a day of training, but you can't get through one of the only party nights we're lucky enough to have?" Jean taunted, taking a seat next to you. "What's the matter?" he gently elbowed you, throwing his neck back so he could press his head against the wall behind. "Just when I was about to defeat Eren..."

"Defeat Eren, really? Statistically, it's more likely for Captain Levi to smile than for us to see that happen," you laughed tiredly, trying not to think about how Jean would probably soon get back to Mikasa and the others.

"Yeah, yeah, tease me all you want, it'll happen. Someday this idiot will get his ass handed to him."

Closing your eyes, you only had it in you to maintain the forced smile painted over your lips while fighting back the rush of stinging tears that suddenly overwhelmed you. Why did Jean had to come and check up on you now of all times, right when you were more than ever convinced that you were starting to fall for him, and it couldn't be clearer that his every move longed for someone else?

"You know, I was going to get him, but Mikasa can get scary..." It was as if he could decipher the riddles of your mind, unaware of the way your heart convulsed. "I wouldn't want to cross her. Why would she hang out with this idi—"

"Look, Jean, if you've come here to rant about this, then you can leave," you ended up snapping, biting back more acre words . "I'm tired, okay? Just get back to the fun inside."

"You... You don't feel like talking?" Jean's voice softened from incomprehension, trying to read your tone. "I'm sorry, I didn't know it was that bad. Hey, you really don't want to talk?"

You shook your head in response, scolding your own self for such pathetic behaviour. Jean couldn't possibly know about your suppressed feelings, so your attitude must indeed appear more than confusing, especially since you were so used to confiding in each other and cheering each other up, for the past weeks more than ever. In the wake of Icarus's ascend towards the sun, untethered and naive, your wings of wax were melting... But who could've predicted, as much as a month earlier, that the loveable idiot by your side would doom you to downfall?  

"Okay... Well...," the young man ran a distracted hand through his hair, frowning as his jaw clenched. "Then I'll talk. You know, I had an idea for tonight," he began after collecting his thoughts, breaking through the hesitant seconds that had temporarily numbed his tongue. "It was our first successful expedition after that near-death experience after all, so I thought I'd better make the most of it and make tonight's celebration useful. Who knows when we'll get another one. Maybe you're right and it's actually more likely to see Captain Levi smile than to get another one of these again soon." Jean's speech ran freely now, his torrent of sentences—for the moment still not making clear sense as to where they were headed to—submerging you in the familiar flow of his voice. As of late, your greatest fear had become to miss its distress call in the ranging mist of a battle, to watch Jean's body be torn to shreds as you could only scream until everything else vanished... "So I thought I'd be brave, for once." He took a deep breath in, fingers nervously wrapped around the back of his own neck. "There's this person I like."

There it was. Somehow, you knew that it would be coming—after the stunt he pulled earlier with Eren...

"They're much braver than I am, but they probably know that already," Jean went on, chuckling self-depreciatingly—he knew he could poke at himself in your company without being ashamed of disclosing his flaws. "They wouldn't hesitate to come and rescue me, even if I were grabbed by a titan. And they're really beautiful, too—"

"Look, Jean, if you've come to talk about Mikasa, just save it," you could only murmur. "Pl—"

"And, quite surprisingly, they're also a dumbass!" Jean didn't let you finish either, shifting his head so he could see your face better. "But that's something both of us have in common." Taken aback by such a strange confession, you opened your eyes to take an intrigued look at Jean while hoping that he wouldn't notice the tears you had at last blinked away. You met his gaze head-on, even among the shadows that coiled over his face.  "Because they think that I still have a thing for a girl I liked for two weeks, while I've been talking about them all along."

"What—"

"You know, you're the one who makes being called "horse-face" the funniest," Jean cracked an unsure smile at you, fiddling with his hands. "Alright, it's the bravest I'll ever be, so time to crawl in a hole and die now," he immediately added more anxiously, looking like the unexpected nature of his confession had stricken him for the first time.

"Wait, Jean, no!" It was as if, for the first time in a span of unending minutes, you could breathe again. "Wait, is this... Is this for real?" You asked in what came out almost a whisper, fearing, in this instant where your hopes balanced on the edge of a precipice of churning doubt and elation, that this was a joke you would not be able to forgive. Jean was better than this, but what if?—the thought drilled into your heart.

"Well... Yes. I'm sorry if I've made things awkward, it's Armin who told you might like me too and—"

"Hey, hey," your hand found its way to Jean's arm in a comforting touch, preventing him from leaving as he made a move to flee after blurting out an apology. Judging by your frantic heartbeat, there was no way you could be the calmer person in this situation—and yet, Jean somehow managed to look even more distressed than you at the moment. "I do like you." It was your turn to get embarrassed, which your flushed cheeks openly betrayed, illuminated by the nearby torch's flitting flame. "But Mikasa...?"

"Y/n, I haven't liked Mikasa for longer than a few weeks. I mean, yes, she's beautiful and strong, but so are you. And you're so much more than that. You're so fun to be around, I haven't laughed so hard with anyone but you. Unlike me, you're not scared to be brave and kind, but with you, I don't need to think which face I need to put on, because I know we don't have to pretend to be someone we're not when we're around each other. And when you got injured... I couldn't stand the thought of losing you. I made myself a promise then that I would tell you, and tonight seemed like the right time. I've been talking to Armin after the expedition and I think he kind of guessed that I liked you, and that you liked me too—I don't even know how or why, but he told me he thought you did. That's not exactly how I thought it'd go but... Trying to get your attention by getting in a fight with Eren wasn't that good of a plan, I guess."

"So that's what it was...! You really are an idiot, Jean Kirschtein," you declared vivaciously, but the moved smile that brightened your face spoke louder than the fond insults Jean and you would fire at each other. "We need to watch out for Armin, he will uncover everyone's secrets, at this rate..." You joked before regaining a more serious attitude, your emotions truly swayed by your friend's avowal. "The expedition changed everything for me too. I realised that I didn't want to go without you. No, I realised that I didn't want to go at all—I wanted to stay. With you."

"Pff, get in line," Jean grinned in spite of the emotional look on his face, sighing in relief. "I've been liking you for months."

"Seriously?"

"Absolutely. Do you think I go out of my way to check up on everyone after a battle or that everyone's mom gets the privilege of being the centre of my skilfully crafted jokes?"

"Shut up," you laughed wholeheartedly, your shoulder against Jean's. "Your mom's a hoe."

"Very clever," he teased you in return, face glowing from a joy even more vivd than the fiery sparks that chased the night's spectres away. “I bang yours every night.”

You burst out laughing, rolling your eyes—mom jokes were a must in your goofy friendship. A friendship that, with a bit of unpredicted luck, was on the verge of becoming something more.

[anlian-aishang]

If you are still taking requests, could you please please please write a sick!levi x caretaking!reader? He can have a cold and be all sick, sneezy, sniffley... ahhhh that would make my LIFE.

Thanks for sending one in! Wow wow wow I got really into this idea. I could definitely see myself writing something like this again in the future! Hopefully you enjoy it ♡ ☆

Word count: 3500 Tags: sfw, fluff, caretaking

Day 2 of medical training under Section Commander Hange. Yesterday was pretty easy: how to apply tunicates, how to administer CPR, how to change bandages. But today was the real deal: on your own manning the infirmary. Considering the chill of late fall but also the lack of combat and thus lack of injuries, you were particularly grateful for some good timing. It would be a relaxing day compared to the demanding drills you normally faced. In a light mood, you met Hange outside the infirmary to sign in.

“How are ya, (Y/N)? Great to see ya!” Hange flashed a grin.

“Good afternoon, Section Commander! I am excited for today’s training,” you met their enthusiasm.

“Listen, research is calling so I’ll keep it brief! The good news: you’ve only got one patient for your shift! The bad news: he’s a handful!” Hange swung open the door and pushed you inside, giving you no time to read the roster of who exactly this handful was. Hange loudly slammed the door on the way out.

It was about 3:00 in the afternoon, so the sleepy grumble from the corner of the room threw you off. How could anyone be sleeping? The commandants were screaming orders at trainees just outside. Midday sun was glaring through the window. You bit your lip to keep quiet, but he was waking up regardless of your efforts.  

“Ugh… what the hell?” Levi brought the inside of his elbow to his eyes, shielding them from the harsh sunlight.

Pretending not to hear him, you held your breath and held still. Maybe he would just go back to sleep?

Levi lifted his arm slightly, revealing his steel squinted eyes, “Hey? Who are you? What are you doing in here?” His voice was weak but terse.

Voice stuck in your throat, you stuttered, “Recruit (Y/N), sir. I- I’m here for part of my medical training.”

Levi sniffed and let out a tired sigh, once again covering his eyes. Only his head peeked from underneath the covers, but you could clearly see a flush. You searched for more clues about his current state. A trash bin at the foot of his bed held only tea bags and tissues, a few of which were scattered about rather than in. A small nightstand had a teacup, a box of tissues, and a few more used ones. Various articles of clothing were spread on the bed and the ground. All signs of a bad cold.

Cautiously, you moved a little closer to your captain, trying to assess the situation. There was no question that he was awake considering the consistent pattern of sniffling and quiet groans. You whispered, “Is there anything I can get you?”

“N- N...” Levi stopped mid-sentence and silently stifled two sneezes into his shoulder, “No, I’b fide. I cad assure you I dod’t need your helb.” With mocking timing, he snatched a tissue from the box, but another did not pop up. After a stuffy nose blow, his glassy eyes looked up to yours, ashamedly and wordlessly pleading for you to fetch the next box.

Holding back a smirk, you nodded, “Right on it, Captain.”

The supply closet of the infirmary was walk-in. It made sense. The Survey Corps had no shortage of injuries and could afford no shortage of supplies. However, you quickly realized the common cold was the least of their concerns. All you could see were bandages, casts, gauze, painkillers, all neatly organized and labeled, but tissues nowhere to be seen. You shut the door behind you and began to dig. The more time it took, the more hasty you became. It had only been a few minutes and Levi was clearly in a bad mood. This was your one job, you wanted to do it right. Strangely enough, as soon as you shut the door to the closet, the louder his symptoms became. He cleared his throat deliberately and sniffled multiple times. The most notable change was his silent sneezes from before were now audible. You could even hear the tickled build-ups.

“Heh…Ahh... k’kshu! Hih...kk’shu! Hah’ish!! Nguh… gross...”

The more he sneezed, the more frantic you became in your search. You felt an increased urge, not to do well in the training, but to help your patient. You had to find them!

But despite your determination, tissues were nowhere to be found. You suddenly recalled– you always kept a few on you, but just that, a few. Five at most. Not enough to hold him over for the hour probably, definitely not the entire day. Bracing yourself to bear the bad news, you left the closet, knit your hands behind your back, and began towards his bed. As soon as you opened the door, his symptoms quieted again, as if he was trying to contain himself in your presence.

As you neared his bed, you lifted your gaze from the floor to Levi. He had since sat himself up, a pillow sandwiched by his back and the wall. His sheets had slipped down to his hips, revealing his chest and abdomen. Both of which were barely covered by an unbuttoned cotton long sleeve. You realized, this was the shirt he usually wore underneath the tan jacket of the uniform. Come to think of it, the clothes thrown around the room were the rest of his uniform. No pajamas?

“Captain Levi,” you reached into your breast pocket, “I’m sorry but… this is all I could find.” You gestured your small stack to him.

Levi coughed slightly into his sleeve, “This is all we have?” His voice was rugged.

“Actually, it’s all that I have. I believe the infirmary doesn’t carry cold and flu supplies… only injury materials.”

The disappointment and exhaustion on his face made your heart pang.

“Tch… Well, thanks, but I really should be getting back to my room.” Levi began buttoning up his shirt.

That wasn’t in the instructions.

“B-but sir… if you need help, I have to stay here so...” you crossed your legs nervously.

“Like I said, I don’t need your help. Hange insist-” Levi’s nose tickled, but it was quickly stopped by a deep sniffle, “guhh… Hange stuck me in here, claiming it’s for quarantine, but I think they just wanted to see me suffer.”

His trademark glare combined with the pink flush across his face gave you contradicting chills. He did have a point, though. The bright sunlight, the noise from outside, the lack of appropriate medicine, being in the infirmary may have been doing him more harm than good.

“I have tea and-” Another tickle. “nghh... all I need in my room, as well as some curtains. This sun is killing me…” He held his head and knitted his eyebrows together.

During this time, you had still been frozen with crossed legs and folded hands, listening intently while trying to piece together the best plan of action. You had no actual authority in keeping him here and he knew it. He threw off the rest of his blankets, preparing to get up, but also revealing his lower half: a charcoal pair of boxer briefs that contrasted the colors of his white sheets and pale skin. He didn’t seem to think anything of it, but you clenched your teeth, holding back the shock of seeing your captain so undressed. It had already been strange enough seeing him so weak, but his outfit, or lack thereof, only threw you off more. A half-buttoned shirt, tight dark underwear, the flush on his face, his body sprawled on white bedding… for a brief second, your mind wandered to a different context. Such a dominant man in such a submissive position made you visibly shudder through another round of chills. You bit your lip, and bit back your daydreaming.

Just when you thought things couldn’t get any more nerve-wracking, Levi stood up, wobbling slightly. There was an audible wince as he held his head in one hand, the other hand clutching the bedpost for balance. He cursed to himself and took a deep breath.

This whole time, you had been keeping your distance from him, but when you saw him lean forward a little too far, you instinctively took a giant step and sprung your arms out to catch him. He was so fatigued and unbalanced, he could not deny your help even if he wanted to.

“Nghh…. S-sorry, (Y/N).” Even in your arms, he was swaying slightly.

“Hey, it’s okay…I’m here. I’m right here. You’re fine...” In this moment, you were intensely grateful that your earlier training had covered how to hold up a soldier. “How about we set you back on the bed for now?” He nodded against your neck in agreement. You gently sat him back on the bed, legs hanging over the edge. You knelt in front of him.

You had made up your mind. Who cares what the rules say? He had to go where he’d be most comfortable. He had to go to his room. You would plead your case to Hange later.

“(Y/N), I’m sorry to trouble you but I have to get to my room. I can write an audit to excuse you later.” Levi continued rubbing his head.

“No no no! Don’t worry, Levi.” It was subconsciously the first time you called him by his first name, it was met without protest. “I’m here to help. We’re gonna go to your room, okay? We just need to get you dressed first.”

Levi opened his eyes slightly from underneath the shade of his hand, a look of disbelief yet also a tinge of gratitude for your compliance. You maintained sincere eye contact with him as you felt around the floor for his pants. The rest of the uniform could be folded and carried, but he could not walk around the barracks in his underwear. When your hands located his pants, you bunched them up at the ankles and encouraged him to slide his feet in. So focused on caretaking, how much you would miss this view didn’t even cross your mind. You slid the right leg up to his mid-thigh, but as you pulled the leg of the left side up, he waved you off with his hand, eyes fluttering shut as he brought an elbow to his face.

“Hih’tch! Hit’chu!...” Levi tilted his head back, trying to bait the last one out, “hih!...ahh!... hih’kshu!!” The last one made his body shake.

“Bless you.”

“Dakes…” His stuffy mispronunciation of “thanks” was heart wrenching, both cute and pathetic at the same time. After using one of your gifted tissues, Levi grasped the waistband of his pants and pulled them up all the way. It was time to go.

You sat on the bed beside Levi. The sheets were so hot. You looped your right arm around his back and beneath his underarm. On his own, he wrapped his left arm around your neck, understanding the position you were aiming to support him with. He had been on the providing end many times with his years in the Survey Corps, but perhaps this was his first time on the receiving end of this stance. Together, you both rose from the bed. Though he was relying on you heavily, his physical weight was light. It would be no problem walking him to his room. The most notable difficulty was the heat radiating from his body, he felt a million degrees. This close, you could see the glimmer from his cold sweat, no wonder he had stripped himself down so much. You made a mental note to come back for his belongings later, but you couldn’t have predicted how much later that would be.

// // //

Upon meeting the door to his suite, Levi slowly reached into his pocket and fumbled the key into place. Given the state of his cot in the infirmary, you expected his room to be even messier. But when he opened the door, everything looked pristine. Hange must have quarantined him right at the start of his illness. A smart call, but the quarantine had to be relocated. Unlike the infirmary, his windows had shades, shutting out the headache-inducing sun.

Levi cleared his throat, “(Y/N), can we go to my desk? I just want to…” he sniffed, “nghh… sit up for a while.”

His headache in mind, you whispered, “yeah sure.” When he was within arms reach of the desk, he ducked out from your support and used the desk to steady himself, pivoting around the corner to collapse in his chair. He let out an exhausted sigh and held his head in his hands.

With this sight, you finally realized how bizarre all this was. All throughout your orientation, you had only seen Captain Levi in tiptop shape. Always dressed to the nines with his couldn’t-care-less stare. In addition to his stark appearance, there were the countless rumors about his life in the underground, titan kill count, and disciplinary attitude. Your prior impression of him was all but daunting. Yet, here in front of you now, was a sick and fatigued version of the authority you thought you understood.

A feeling of helplessness unknowingly crossed both of your minds. His was of the desire to be self-reliant, to avoid relying on a fresh recruit like you. Yours was of the desire to aid him, but having no clear idea how.

His labored and congested breathing, you couldn’t help but ask, “Is there anything I can get you? Some soup, tea, an icepack...?”

Under his cupped hands, Levi spread his fingers to reveal watery eyes, “...yes.”

You chuckled. Even in his misery, his characteristic humor was unwavering. You poured some water into a tea kettle, some chicken stock into a pot, and began boiling both. Something was boiling within you as well, a feeling you had never felt before, a deep responsibility to take care of the poor thing. Every cough, sniffle, throat clear, sneeze… every sign of weakness only fueled your burning desire to nurse him back to health. The fact that this was part of a mandatory training had vanished from your mind. Sure you were on duty, but even if this was not required, you couldn’t imagine anything else you’d rather be doing.

Throughout the duration of your cooking, his sniffling had gotten louder and more persistent. Something was certainly itching his nose. When the tea whistled and the soup bubbled, you poured them into a cup and bowl respectively then walked carefully towards your patient. They were burning your hands, but you didn’t notice. All of your attention was on his well-being. Without a clank, you set the hot liquids right in front of him. The steam emitting from both was dually clearing his congestion but also irritating his nose. Foremost, he wanted to thank you, but he’d first have to fight off the itch in order to do so.

“H-...Hey.. th… hahh thanks for… ahh!” He brought the back of his hand to his twitching nose, “th- thanks for...” His lips slowly parted. His gaze was wavering.

Your heart felt sorry, but your deepest sense of sadism caused a satisfied smile. “Don’t worry about it.” A double meaning regarding both his thanks and impending sneeze fit.

Levi nodded, either in acknowledgment or in preparation for the inevitable, and finally submit “...kk’shu! Hah’kshh!...nn….’tshu! Nguhh…”

His watery eyes fluttered open, aimlessly feeling around his desk for his box of tissues, another bout already coming on. You rapidly snatched two tissues and brought them to his nose. He wouldn’t make it in time with his blurred vision and slowed movement.

“Th-Than- hit’ch! Hih’tsh!” He sneezed twice more. “Gahh, I’m so gross…. Excuse me.” He blew softly into the tissues you clutched.

“It’s okay. It’s not your fault.” You removed your hand from his reddened face. You couldn’t tell if the blush was from his cold or from his embarrassment, maybe both. For such a deep voice, his sneezes were so cute.

Levi sniffed once, his nose finally settled, “I was trying to say thanks.”

“It’s nothing really, I just want you to feel better…” This time, your smile was wholeheartedly genuine.

His usually cold stare was instead warm with gratitude. He gingerly began sipping his soup and tea. Despite their boiling temperatures, he was still shivering. You wandered to his perfectly-made bed and took off the top layer. It smelled nice. A clean freak after all. Eyes closed, he seemed to be thoroughly enjoying the meal. When you came behind his desk chair and draped the blanket around his shoulders, he twitched in surprise, but the shivering gradually came to a stop. As you blanketed him, you yourself were also blanketed in fulfillment. The annoyed, helpless, lonely Captain Levi from before was now warm, fed, and accompanied. Boasting wasn’t really your thing, but you couldn’t help but feel it was all thanks to your care and actions. Seeing him so adorably bundled, sipping fluids, symptoms improving…. you were internally gawking at the result of your hard work.

After emptying the teacup and bowl, Levi looked up to you through his bangs, “That was the best meal I’ve ever had, (Y/N).”

You giggled, flattered. “Yeah, I’m a real expert at heating up liquids.”

For the first time all day, the first time you’d ever seen in fact, Levi twitched a cheek up into a half-smile. The two of you met pleasant exchanges for a moment, but his face dimmed shortly after.

“I’m sorry about all this.” Levi broke the stare by looking down to his lap.

“Oh, really… it’s nothing!” You held your kind expression.

“You were stuck with me. I’ve been so pathetic, so useless, so -”

“Levi...” you interrupted.

“I ruined your day.” A tinge of angst in his flaking voice.

“It was… uhh.... I was umm…” You awkwardly tried to hide your true feelings, a fear of coming off too strong. But with all the time together and all you had helped him with, why not be honest at this point? You swallowed your pride, “It’s been my pleasure to help.”

“Your pleasure, huh?” Levi unveiled an interested tone along with an equally interested smirk.

“Yep, my pleasure.” You winked for a split-second. It felt right in the moment, maybe you would cringe about it later... but considering his low chuckle, Levi seemed to like it.

“(Y/N)? If I could ask you for one more thing…?”

“Anything.” You truly meant it.

“Would you… uhh… scratch my back?”

Your mouth wavered, trying to come up with words but ending up speechless.

“It’s just… I think I need to go back to sleep, but my insomnia makes it hard. I think it could help?”

“....No, yeah.” You kneaded your hands together, “It’d… be my pleasure.” You bit down on your grin, trying to stay grounded.

Levi rose from his chair, mindlessly unbuttoned his shirt and zipped down his pants. Now down to just his underwear, he folded his clothes neatly on his nightstand. You politely averted your eyes, this wasn’t the time to admire the art. He crawled into bed and under the sheets. His position facing the wall, he turned his neck and pat the side of the bed next to him, encouraging you to hop in too.

With haste, you removed your belts and shoes and joined him, promptly starting to scratch his back, more toned than you could have ever imagined. Before turning back towards the wall, Levi glanced at you thoughtfully.

“With the amount of time you’ve spent with me, the close contact of catching my sneezes, lying with me, scratching my back, and all…”

“Mhm?”

“Who knows? Maybe we’ll have to quarantine you in here too.”

Uhh…. was that an invitation?

He teased further, “Captain’s orders.”

“I would take this over the infirmary I suppose…” You tilted your head playfully.

As you scratched his back, some barely audible moans escaped his lips. His breaths were slowing, growing sleepier and sleepier. It sounded like you were doing a good job…

“(Y/N)?”

“Yes?”

“I owe you one.”

“Please, there’s nothing I’d rather be doing.”

An uncertain amount of time passed. Five minutes? Ten minutes? Twenty minutes? You couldn’t tell. You didn’t care. However long it was, he had finally started snoring. You wondered if he always did, or if it was just due to his congestion. Despite his stuffiness, his snoring was light as his shoulders rose and fell. Any time you tried to lift your hand from his back, his breathing became irregular and he squirmed slightly. You recalled his mention of insomnia. If he woke up now, when, if ever, could he go back to sleep? There was no way out for you, not until he woke up naturally at least. You accepted your fate, you were stuck in this bed for as long as he was, not that you minded. You yourself began to feel tired and stared up at his ceiling, thankful for the relaxing shift it indeed turned out to be.

levi masterlist // main masterlist

[katsuukiwii]

Levis female s/o tellubf him she loves his rough hands because they belong to him?💕💕💕

This sounds cute! I’m down  ❤️ Also I picked this pic because his hands do be lookin rough here Hope you like it!

“Rough Hands”- Levi X Reader SFW

Here you two sat on the bed, one of Levi’s larger hands in your own tiny ones. He liked having you massage his hands, he often got cramps from writing so much, and you knew where all the pressure points were to help alleviate that pain.

You look up at his face, gunmetal eyes are shut, covered with dark eyelashes, his face was relaxed, with no creases around his eyebrows. Heavy bags laid gently underneath his eyes, showing his lack of sleep. Next, you looked at his nose, the whole way down to the tip of his nose looked like a gentle arch. A perfect little upturned, button nose for a perfect man. His top lip was thin, leading to a fuller lower lip. He had the perfect, sharp cupid’s bow that pulled everything together. he truly was a work of art, as if he were crafted by the God’s with clay. 

You finally set his right hand down, watching as he peeks an icy blue eye open, stretching out his left hand to brush a strand of hair behind your ear. Once he did, you flinched, just slightly, the hardened, calloused skin scratching you. It was never painful, but it always tickled a bit. He pulls his hand away, grabbing your hips to pull you into his lap lovingly, finally revealing both striking eyes to you.

“I’m sorry my love, did I hurt you?” He stares into you eyes, studying your reaction before leaning down to kiss your neck, “I didn’t mean to. My hands are just so fucked up...” He glances to the side, worried that you might be upset. All of that worry washes away once you take his hand, moving it to rest on your cheek while you turn your head, leaving a soft kiss on his palm. “It didn’t hurt, Levi. Don’t worry, it never does! I’ll always love your rough hands, they make you, well, you! And that’s more than I could ever ask.” Levi gives you a soft smile before giving you a kiss, it was loving, passionate, romantic. It was magical. 

If he had to be honest with himself, he also loved his rough hands. But, if you had to ask him what his favorite thing about them was, he would say it’s the gold band that rests on his left ring finger.

[jordanjaeger]

Porco Galliard x Female Reader: I Deserve Happiness, Too.

Porco watched as you slowly migrated around the library. Your hands were clasped behind your back while your eyes scanned through the many shelves full of books. You stopped occasionally to pick out a book and skim the back for a summary, returning it to it’s original spot when you found yourself uninterested. You continued this process for nearly twenty minutes, until finally, something caught your eye.

Porco’s eyes didn’t leave your figure as they followed you to a table occupied by four chairs. You pulled one out and sat down, your hues shifting back and forth as you read the back of the book. He noticed how your hair was slicked back into a low ponytail, your usual go-to hairstyle. He thought it suited you, mainly because it revealed to him your perfect features. Your skin was dewy and smooth, and your eyes, the ones that so seemingly always wondered with curiosity, were big and bold. He thought it was cute the way you squinted them whenever your lips curled into a smile, rounding your face like that of a laughing child.

He narrowed his eyes to your body. He often thought about how someone so fragile-looking could never join the military. You were tiny, and shorter than he was. To him you were like a delicate flower, whose overall personality resembled that of rose petals. Bright, beautiful, and sexy, just the way he liked it. Unfortunately, the amount of confidence he needed to feel brave enough to talk to you was still at an all time low. Not very appealing for a soldier according to Pieck.

Porco had spoken to her about his feelings regarding you, hoping to gain some insight on how to approach you correctly. He didn’t have much experience when it came to girls, and even with the few times he’s tried talking to one, they always turned him down due to his lack of compassion and kindness, two categories where Pieck dominated him in. So who better to ask for advice from than Pieck?

“(Name)’s a sweet girl. She's a little quiet, but will open up to anyone if you talk to her. You just have to be nice. She won’t bite.”

“I don’t know.”

“If you can jump into a mirage of bullets during a war, then surely you can muster up the courage to talk to a girl.”

“I guess.. But what if she doesn't feel the same way towards me? What if she thinks I'm some sort of monster?”

“She and I are friends, and yet, she does not resent me for my titan powers.”

“I just don’t think it would be wise for me to pursue someone like her, especially in my position.”

“Everyone deserves to be happy, Pokko. We live in a cruel world, where war and violence reign, and the people of Marley despise us Eldians for being descendants of the devil. We’ve been stripped of our childhoods, forced to fight alongside the military, and inherit a power that holds a burden over our heads for the remainder of our lives. It's tough being warriors, which is why it is so crucial that we find some sort of balance to keep us from losing ourselves. In your case, (Name) could serve as your balance. All you have to do is just talk to her.”

“You’re right. I’ll do it. And stop calling me that!”

Porco replayed Pieck’s words of wisdom in his head. She was right. After everything he had been through, he deserved to be happy, even if it was just for a little while. Who knows? Maybe once he finally confessed his feelings to you, you would admit to having feelings for him as well. At least, he hoped so.

Taking in a deep breath, Porco exhaled slowly through his nostrils in attempts to calm his racing heart as he arose from a nearby table and made his way over to you. His palms were sweaty in his jacket pockets, prompting him to take them out and let the cool air of the building reduce some of the moisture.

You noticed someone approaching you and immediately looked up from the first page of your book. Your heart flipped when you met Porco’s gaze as he stood behind the chair in front of you.

“Is this seat taken?” Porco asked bluntly.

You shook your head no, unable to speak right away due to the electricity circulating through your veins at the sight of your crush. You’d heard about him plenty of times before, but rarely did you ever get to see him as much as you had liked for reasons you believed were considered classified because of his new position as a titan shifter. So you were surprised when you saw him in the flesh again, a close-up of his handsome facial features you so desperately wanted to see after he had been away for four years.

Porco sat down and naturally folded his arms across his chest. He stared at you for a moment before dropping his attention to the book in your hand.

“What’s that you’re reading?” he asked.

Upon noticing your lingering stare, you quickly darted your eyes as he returned his attention towards you. You shut the book and turned it around for him to read.

“It’s called Liberty in Liberio,” you answered, realizing now how boring the book sounded compared to your previous opinion.

“Is it any good?” asked Porco.

“I just started,” you replied.

Porco didn’t say anything, feeling slightly embarrassed after he just watched you pull the book off of the shelf. Though he brushed it off knowing that you didn’t notice him before, so he was in the clear.

“(Name) isn’t it?” His plan was to play dumb, as if he hadn’t been observing you all of this time nor gaining information about you through Pieck. He just didn’t want to sound like some sort of stalker.

“Yes, it is,” you affirmed. You were utterly shocked to hear him say your name. He must have learned it by way of Pieck. After all, you both were mutuals of her.

“And you’re Porco Galliard,” you told him. “It’s an honor to meet you.”

Porco lifted an eyebrow. “An honor for what?”

“W-well,” you began, slightly confused by his tone. You hoped that what you were about to say next wasn’t going to offend him in any way. It’s not like you knew much about him or the details behind why he was chosen to become a titan shifter. “You’re the one who inherited the power of the titans and helped Marley win the war against the Mid-East. So, it is an honor to meet you.”

“Yeah well, it’s whatever. I was just doing my job,” said Porco as he rubbed the back of his neck. He felt himself blush a little at your praise, but deemed it unimportant for he had better topics to discuss.

“Anyway, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about,” Porco said. He rubbed his palms against his thighs, desperate to get rid of the sweat forming from the adrenaline rushing through his body.

You looked at him with sheer curiosity, waiting, wondering what on earth he of all people had to tell you. Porco hesitated for a moment. He placed his hands on top of the table and fiddled with his thumbs, then he sat back in his chair and began tapping his pointer finger on the table, his eyes searching for something, anything, to focus on but yours.

Just say it you dumbass. Stop wasting time and just get on with it he thought to himself.

“Um, Porco?” you asked shyly. He looked frustrated, and for a second, you thought it was because of something you may have said.

Porco furrowed his brows, irritated at himself. He chuckled at how ridiculous he was being as he looked up to meet your eyes and instantly felt his heart melt. He sighed, unable to procrastinate any longer. He had, no, needed to tell you.

He shifted his body to sit correctly in his chair and interlocked his fingers together in front of him.

“(Name), I know we’ve only just become acquainted, but I’d like to take the opportunity and get to know you more if that’s alright with you.” Porco’s words caught him off guard, just as they did you. You felt fire erupt in your stomach as your heart began to pick up in pace, causing your tanned skin to heat up like a red pepper.

“I’ve watched you for a while now, and I can’t seem to shake this feeling of wanting you. You’re absolutely gorgeous, something I don’t get to see every day, but also something I’d like to one day, maybe, come home to in the future. Y’know, if that’s alright with you.” Porco couldn’t keep his eyes on you as he felt his cheeks light up. He looked away, highly disgusted at himself for sounding so sappy, but also impressed at how his own words rolled off of his tongue so smoothly.

“I’d love that,” you whispered, regaining Porco’s attention. You were a blushing mess, but so was he.

He felt his confidence grow a little, and with a bold move, he extended his arm out and placed his hand underneath yours, gently holding your four fingers into his warm palm.

“Thanks,” Porco said, relieved as a small smile crept onto his face. “I’m really happy to hear you say that.”

[marsbutterfly]

Final Mission - Remastered

Summary: The rumbling begins to close in on you and your friends. With very few choices remaining, you have to watch as Hanji makes a decision that will alter the course of your life forever.

a/n: hello hello!! So ever since part 3 part 1 came out, I decided to start working on rewriting my very first work, for Hanji and for Attack On Titan. This piece has always meant so much to me as it was written with lol sm grief? anyway, I know it's been a while but Hanji pls come back, the kids and I miss you babes.

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: attack on titan season 4 part 3 (part 1) spoilers if you haven't watched it yet, angst, blood, established relationship, soulmate loss, a bit of resentment towards tbh everyone if you squint. | ao3 | wattpad | the original | wc: 3.3k

“You could break my heart in two

But when it heals, it beats for you”

“I’m the one who brought everyone here. I killed my comrades to come this far. I’ll take responsibility for it all,” Hanji says, her hands trembling while grasping the thunder spears firmly, eyes filled with terror while a shallow breath fights to leave her lungs. The ground shakes beneath you and a chilling sensation courses down your spine.

You finally find the courage to turn around to face her as she approaches the group, words dying and being reborn in your throat as you struggle to find just the right thing to say, eventually landing on the bleakest yet most desperate request, “Don’t you fucking dare.”

Her footsteps are heavy, contrasting clearly with those of the colossal titans as they march towards you. Her vision is focused on the young, blonde boy ahead of you and you can tell she is trying with all her might to avoid your eyes, afraid of the reaction you might have.

“Armin Arlert,” her voice is gentle, gentler than it has been in a while, almost as if the heavy burden of the world inside the walls has finally lifted from her shoulders and she could actually think straight, “I hereby designate you the 15th Commander of the Scout Regiment.”

The remainder of the words exchanged between the two of them simply echoes in your brain, going from one ear to the other, almost as if they were speaking sheer gibberish. It doesn’t make sense, none of it does. Why is she making him commander when she is still standing right there? Hopefully not for the reasons you are expecting, right? Your thoughts move a thousand times faster than the actual conversation flows.

Your eyes are fixated on the scenery before you, a mixture of feelings coursing through your veins and your heart feels like it has been missing a few beats as an intense void begins to creep from deep inside of you. The situation is not ideal: the colossal titans get closer by the second, the atmosphere becomes hotter with their steam clouding the air and an overwhelming feeling of despair grows in your chest.

You focus on the sound of her voice, the same sound that has brought you so much comfort in the most trying of times now makes no sense, no matter how you look at it. Her face, which has always been your absolute favorite piece of art to ever exist, now contorted into a pained and saddened expression. In fact, it reminded of the way she looked when Erwin announced she would be taking over the Scouts in case he didn’t make it through Shiganshina.

You are finally pulled out of this trance once she begins to move again, this time towards Levi, confused and worrying eyes following her every move carefully as she moves across the brick bridge. From where you stand, you can see the black haired man tightening his left fist, the breeze hitting every so lightly, just barely enough for it to lift his hair and show you that he is sharing a quick glance with you before returning to Hanji.

“Hey, four-eyes,” he says. That’s the first time you have heard him call her those two words since she became commander. He had told you once before he did it out of respect, seeing that she was now his superior, so for him to say it now, in a moment like this, that is when the realization and truth of the moment finally began to dawn on you.

“You understand, right, Levi?” Her voice trembles in the slightest, in a manner that would be unnoticeable to anyone else but you and the man she is speaking to, “my turn has come at last.”

Hanji raises her hands, fingertips trembling and causing the thunder spears to shake, the sweat glistening on her face as her pupils twitch, it’s a sight you hoped to never see. She tries to play her nervousness off, “I’m giddy with the desire to make a supremely cool exit. Don’t stop what I’ve got going.”

For the first time, her eyes meet yours and you realize only then how many tears she was holding back, a quiet sob dying in your throat as you yelp, your body rejecting your brain’s commands to move, legs stuck in place and swallowing has never been this hard.

With a sigh, you hear those three words out of Levi’s mouth, the same words that are now only chanted by a ghost or a distant memory, “Dedicate your heart.” It feels like a punch to the stomach, air can no longer find its way inside your lungs and you choke on your own saliva, there is no denying what is about to happen anymore and the overwhelming sensation that there is nothing you can do to change it overwhelms you.

She smiles and lets out a gentle giggle, “That’s the first time I’ve heard you say that.”

Lastly, she makes her way towards you. The need for oxygen is intense but the very second that her gentle fingertips touch your face, the world seems to stop for a moment and every worry you have ever had dissipates into the feeling.

“I truly hope that you can forgive me one day,” she says and the tears that dangled from her eyes were finally allowed to fall. With a smirk on her lips, she blew on your face so that your hair would move from one spot to the other and the smell of her breath fills you with a sense of nostalgia and despair.

“Please don’t say that,” you whisper, bringing your body closer to hers, “you are the only family I have left. I don’t know where to go without you,” your voice trembles, your throat is as dry as the deserts you’ve heard Armin talk so much about. The tips of your fingers gently twirl a loose strand of hair that falls on her face.

Hanji turns her face at a precise 90 degree angle to look at Levi, a stoic expression on his face though his eyes tell you everything you need to know about his feelings. A tear runs down Hanji’s face, but only one as she won’t allow herself to fully break down until you are out of sight, “Will you take care of her for me?” He doesn’t respond with words, the only thing he does is nod his head in agreement.

Her eyes make their way back to you as she uses both of her hands to carefully cup your face, lips meeting yours with a desperation you had never seen before, almost as if she is trying to engrave you on her own body. Her tongue glides with yours for a couple of seconds and you feel the butterflies rising in your stomach as if it were the first time you have kissed her.

The moment couldn’t have been longer than a few seconds but it felt like forever and a day, your body nearly melting in contact with her touch. For a split moment, you forgot about the rumbling, about Eren, about the sacrifice she was about to make, nothing mattered anymore. Nothing but this very moment the two of you share.

Everything feels ok for a little while, the warmth of her brown eyes reminds you of the many cups of tea you have shared in the barricades, the softness of her touch bringing up memories of times you’ve met under the apple tree in the courtyard, and the gentleness on her lips stirring butterflies in your stomach, much like the very first time you’d seen her.

However it does not last long. You are brought back to reality by the sound of her ODM gear going off, the hook gripping onto the wall and the cold feeling her lips leave behind. Hanji doesn’t give you enough time to stop her, she simply pulls away before you could even react.

She doesn’t say anything. In the years that passed since she became commander, Hanji had been preparing you for the inevitable moment when she passes away, when her turn to make a sacrifice to save your life would come. In that time, you let your guard down, you had convinced yourself something like that would never happen, not to the both of you.

Your eyes are fixated on her every move, every swing of her blade, every flicker of her cape, and there is nothing you can do. Frozen in place, you watch in horror as she manages to take down a few of the colossal titans on their path of destruction. It wasn’t enough. The engineers still need more time.

Trembling hands struggle to find a way onto your blades as a thought goes through your brain, “How can I help her?” By the time you manage to look back up, you catch a glance of a scene that could only be described as your worst nightmare: your beloved’s body, the person you’ve loved most for the past few years, catching on fire as a result of the bodily heat of the colossal titans.

Your heart sinks in your stomach and all you can do is scream. Your feet begin to move as you make up your mind to run and assist them but a pair of strong hands get a hold of your waist before you have time to move forward.

“Reiner, let me go,” you demand, in vain. No matter just how much you kick, or scream, or scratch him, his grip will not loosen and a sense of utter despair fills you. Your throat burns and your vision is blurred out by all the tears, your hands are shaking and there is nothing more you can do.

The last drop was the moment you caught a glimpse of her lifeless, burned to a crisp body falling from the sky like a meteor ready to destroy your life. You had no more fight left in you, no more strength remaining to try and free yourself from Reiner’s arms.

Something inside of your brain begins to slip away, was it your sanity? Or something more personal, like your spirit? No, this was a feeling you had encountered time and time again, expedition after expedition, titan kill after titan kill, hopelessness. Except this time, the feeling was a thousand times worse.

Without her, how would you be able to find Eren and stop the rumbling once and for all? Not only that, but for the first time, probably ever, you questioned her judgment, after all, how could Armin be commander? The boy who was chosen over Erwin, part of the reason why you found yourself in this situation in the first place.

No, there was no use in pointing fingers at each other. If in a situation like this, where life and death walked hand in hand, she chose him, then you would trust her judgment, even if you didn’t agree with it, even if you believed it to be the wrong choice.

Your eyelids grow heavier the closer you get to the plane, the tears have yet to stop running down your face and a full body spread of goosebumps has taken hold of your skin. You manage to take a deep breath before allowing your exhausted body to slip into unconsciousness and, for the last time, you hear her voice.

“I love you.”

The pounding sensation in your head is nearly too much to bear. You squint through closed eyes, slowly using whatever little strength you have left to raise your arm, shielding your face from the far too close sun rays. The atmosphere surrounding the area is so heavy you could cut it with a knife, but a determined Armin breaks free from the awkwardness. “Listen up,” he says, the confidence is his voice masking his true emotions, “Let’s go over the plan.”

Their voices are now a bit louder, the slight turbulence you come across every so often causes the plane to shake and every last bit of metal to scrape against one another. You can hear the sound of a pencil scribbling on the metal floor, but whether it is writing or drawing, you are unable to realize.

As the conversation goes by, your ears begin to ring and your mind can’t help but wonder how long it has been. You take your hand up to your chest, clutching tightly to the fabric that covers the area above your heart, it feels empty, like it has been broken in two and the pieces have been flung out into space.

Has it been seconds? Has it been days? No, while it feels like an eternity has passed, deep down you know that it has only been somewhere between fifteen to thirty minutes. Tears begin to pool up in your eyes once more, that emptiness eating away at your stomach while you choke down a desolate sob. You don’t want to draw attention towards yourself but yet somehow, you find yourself as the center of everyone’s concern.

For a while, no one dares to move, speak or even breathe. You can’t be bothered by their reactions or lack thereof, the pressure on your chest desperately needs to be released. The tears won’t stop flowing, air fails to enter your lungs as heavy hiccups erupt from deep within your soul. The void you feel could only be compared to a bottomless abyss, not knowing when it will end.

Once you have no more tears left, you try your best to use your arms to sit up, cursing yourself for being so weak in the face of such immediate danger. Footsteps approach you and a helping hand finds a comfortable spot on your lower back, gently assisting you in your attempt to sit. You don’t need to see the person’s face to know exactly who it is.

“Mikasa,” you say, not quite sure if it is a question or if anything else is going to follow.

“How are you feeling?” She asks, her voice is raspy and gentle, like she has been doing some crying of her own. You can’t help but smirk, not out of happiness, but because you know they all already have an idea of what your answer is going to be.

“It feels like my heart has just been ripped out of my chest and I had to watch as it burned,” you say and they all immediately understand that you are referring to the condition you were forced to leave Hanji’s body in. It is a stupid question but, for some reason, it does make the aching a tad bit more tolerable.

“Your hand is bleeding,” Armin points out in a serene voice as he walks towards you, his footsteps seem lighter than a feather in an attempt to not spook you away, as if you were a wild, injured little animal, “How did that happen?”

“I cut it,” You respond, dryly. Your lower lip quivers as you open your palm, revealing the smallest piece of green fabric. It is clear from the patter and the design that it came from one of the cloaks owned by the Survey Corps, no extra words are needed for all present to understand that it belonged to their fallen Commander. Though no one desires to talk about it, Reiner decides to take the fall.

“I may not have been so gentle when we were boarding the flying boat,” he says, using his left hand to scratch the back of his neck while the right one holds onto the rail above his head, “I’m sorry, y/n. I should have been more careful.”

You know what he is trying to do. It is clearly a lie and there is no denying any of it, but you appreciate his efforts to remove the attention from the sore subject. You purse your lips in what could be considered a small smile while quietly nodding your head.

“Would you mind if I took a look at it?” Armin asks, kneeling beside you while reaching his hand underneath your own. Perhaps he was right to treat you like a spooked animal, seeing as your immediate reaction was to move your hand far away from him, clinging onto the fabric for dear life as you push your body towards the back of the ship until you collide with the metal wall. “Please.” He begs.

“No,” you cower away, “This is the last part of me to have ever touched her. It doesn’t hurt, in fact, I can barely feel anything anymore.”

Once more he asks, “Please,” and you realize he isn't going to let the subject go. So before too much of your blood has a chance to soak the bit of cloth, you switch it towards your other hand, extending your injured arm until it touches the top of his thighs.

You whimper as a stream of clean water comes in contact with your open skin, dirt debris being washed away by the contents as best as possible. Your eyes never leave his face, the now 15th Commander of the Survey Corps taking care of you, your heart gets heavier the more you think of him in such a manner. His shoulders are slumped forward, as if there is a “not so fictional” weight on them. It doesn’t take long before he is finished bandaging you up.

“I am fully aware it is not the same but,” a masculine voice comes from the front half of the ship, “you still have us.”

Your eyes now meet Levi, whose crossed arms and stern face somehow brings you the slightest amount of comfort. With a helping hand from Connie, you make your way towards him, gently placing yourself between Pieck and the black-haired man, who ever so gently places a comforting hand behind your back. It is rare for him to demonstrate any sort of affection, so by the way his fingers feel against your clothes, you can nearly feel his own grief. Another lump forms in your throat, but you swallowed it this time.

“We’ll make sure that Hanji’s death wasn’t in vain,” Mikasa swears, false determination taking over her words, “We’ll return Eren into his old self, I know he is still in there somewhere, just waiting for us.”

Any sort of emotion gets drained from your face as you stare deep into her eyes, gray orbs looking deeply at you in hopes of any approval of her message. You raise your chin as you cross your legs, bringing your body forward, closer to her. You don’t want to be mean, nor do you want to make her feel like her attempt at comforting you fell into deaf ears, but all present right now know that what she has said is bullshit. 

“Mikasa,” your voice is stern, “do you remember what Annie asked you once in the forest and then again after we attempted to communicate with Floch?” She doesn’t respond but, by the expression on her face, you realize that she knows exactly what you are talking about. With no indication that she plans on acknowledging the subject, you continue, “She asked you if you would ever be able to kill Eren.”

She looks away, gripping her knees tightly. “That won’t be necessary!” Armin says, the nervousness in his voice is palpable as he desperately tries to change the subject while still hoping to provide you with the comfort he knows you need at this moment.

You sigh before continuing, “I know you want to bring him back. I may know that better than anyone else at the moment. But I need you to listen closely as I tell you this,” Your voice is louder than the engines, the tears begin pooling in your eyes once more, you bring the small piece of Hanji’s cloak towards your chest, a determined expression on your face, “There is no bringing him back at this point. He has gone too far. Even if you did bring him back, the remaining world population would kill him with their bare hands.”

“Why are you saying all of this?” Someone asks, though your mind has become nothing but fog so you can’t quite tell whose voice it is at the moment. You take a deep breath, allowing the cold air to fill your burning lungs.

“Because no matter what you all say,” any emotion is drained from your voice, “my final mission is to kill Eren Yeager.”

“If I could do it all again

I know I'd go back to you”

[papijean]

stargazers p.g.

summary: Porco loves to take you out to see the stars just about as much as he loves you

warning: fluff

word count: 1.2k

a/n: part of @odmlevis summer solstice event! Hope you all enjoy xx

Porco loved summer. He loved the hot sun rays beating down on his skin until his golden kissed skin was pink with a burn. He loved driving to the coast to sit on the beaches and float around in the ocean. He loved ice cream dates and carnival rides. Most importantly, he loved spending the summer with you.

There was nothing better than late-night adventures or early morning discoveries. Porco would spend every hour of the summer with you if he could. Instead, he could only focus on the moments that would mean the most.

Porco came up with this grand idea to go sit under the stars with you. The pickup truck he drove was completely converted to a romantic date spot - though no matter where you were with him it always seemed romantic. He loved to spoil you in any way possible.

He took the time to wash his truck until it was spotless so he could throw in an endless amount of pillows and blankets. A string of lights surrounded the box of the truck where you laid. Music played from the speaker he brought and you quickly recognized it as the playlist you made together long ago. He drove you out of the city so the stars would be more clear. It was beautiful.

He took the time to wash his truck until it was spotless so he could throw in an endless amount of pillows and blankets. A string of lights surrounded the box of the truck where you laid. Music played from the speaker he brought and you quickly recognized it as the playlist you made together long ago. He drove you out of the city so the stars would be more clear. It was beautiful.

It seemed every star in the sky was out. The dark night was illuminated so bright it was hard to believe it was past midnight. The view was breathtaking, and yet Porco couldn't help himself from looking over at you instead. No view would ever compare to your beauty, and he made sure you knew it.

Porco's arms were tucked behind his head, a small smile cemented on his face. He always wore the same look while with you. Love-dazed eyes, genuine smile, the smallest pink flush on his cheeks. He was so incredibly in love it hurt not to be with you. A love like his... it never went away.

"Hey, I came out here to look at the view," Porco defended, "You just happen to always be the most beautiful view."

"Shut up," you rolled your eyes at him, though a matching smile of his lit up of your face. Your gaze returned to the dark sky, admiring the constellations. There were far too many to remember, though it was fun watching Porco try to guess when you first arrived.

"We never get to see the stars like this, this was a great idea. Thanks, Pock."

"You don't have to thank me every time I take you out, my love," Porco assured. It was his pleasure to go out and do things at your side. He stretched his arm closest to you out, hoping you'd get the hint to cuddle into him as a cold breeze swept over. His chest was warm and welcoming. His favourite cologne filled your nose.

Porco kissed the top of your head, tightening his hold on you. He still found his gaze attached to you instead of the stars. One of the larger blankets scattered around in the box of his truck was pulled over you both, capturing the small amount of body heat left between the both of you. It was starting to get cold out, but neither of you were quite willing to go home yet. The night was still young, and the stars too gorgeous.

"You're so warm," you mumbled, snuggling closer into his chest. Your legs slowly became intertwined with his with each movement until you were completely flush with him. Porco chuckled at your comment. Half the time you complained about how much heat he radiated, now you were only soaking it all up.

"How are you still cold? You're already wearing my hoodie," Porco tugged at the material you wore. He heard you grumble at him, though it came out inaudible as you tucked into his chest. He untucked his other arm, swinging it over your body and using the momentum to roll on top of you. The weight of his body pressed against your as he huddled your cold frame.

A dozen soft kisses were left over your face until getting caught on your lips. It was so easy to get lost in his kiss. So delicate, so filled with adoration, so incredibly addictive. Porco was always so loving towards you, so eager to make you feel like the most important person in the world.

Porco Galliard made you feel as if the stars up in the sky were made just for you.

"Pock, you're heavy," you whined to him, though the warmth he shared almost seemed worth the weight on your chest from him. Porco only chuckled at you, giving you another kiss before he was willing to move again. He quickly changed his mind, unable to stop himself from leaving more.

"Porco!" A loud giggle erupted from your chest as he left wet kisses on your cheeks, making a loud smack with every one of them. Finally, he rolled off of you, keeping you close to his chest so you could stay warm. His big arms wrapped around you as you tucked into the crook of his neck, no longer looking up at the stars but enjoying his presence.

Silence washed over you. Only the loud crickets of the bugs in the field you were parked in and the beat of his heart could be heard. All you needed was him, no words, no light, just Porco. His warmth, his love, everything from him.

It was so easy to be relaxed when you were with him. Always feeling safe in his hold, always yearning to stay like this forever. You never wore fear at his side, just as it was supposed to be. Porco made it so you could fall asleep in his arms without a worry in the world.

"Let's stay until sunrise," Porco suddenly decided. It had to be nearly four in the morning already, your night slipping away faster than you realized. Minutes, hours, they all withered away faster than you could blink when you were with Porco. "Let me love you right here just a little longer."

"I'll love you no matter where we go," you promised. Porco could hear the sleep in your voice threatening to take over. He was sure your eyes were shut, and by the warm breath on his skin, your lips parted. It was so hard to stay awake when he was so comfortable. "Forever."

Porco felt his chest warm at your words. His hands tightened around you, eyes welling up with tears at the love you were so willing to give him. He loved you more than anything in this world, and it was moments like these that reminded him you felt the exact same. Your love was infinite, just like the stars in the sky above you.

-

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[wrctings]

just some (slightly angsty) eruri fluff for you all because i miss them 🥰

“And so when I snapped my fingers right beside him, I got his attention. Actually got it! I’ve never had a titan stare at me like this, so intensely,” Hanji’s eyes sparkled, aglow with both irrepressible enthusiasm and the warm reflection from the room’s candle light, her fingers eagerly curled around the handle of a cup. “If only you’d seen it... I think he may have finally recognised me, given all the time we spent together... But we have to wait and see. And there’s also that plant we brought back from the last expedition! It’s growing! We put it in a more humid zone, like where we found it, and it’s actually growing.”

Levi had always known Hanji was a little excessive. Well, really excessive for the most part - especially when she’d get into one of her endless tirades about titans, marvelling over their monstrous abilities and curious shape and reflexes and whatnot... Sometimes, it drove Levi up to the wall to watch their scientist go into raptures over the senseless beasts that had crushed or torn apart so many of their fallen comrades. Though, to be fair, he could hardly blame Hanji - she was with them, after all; among the first ranks during expeditions, flanked by the officers’ side. That titan-loving thing was just a quirk of hers, just like Levi’s own cleaning thing, which he suspected many of their subordinates looked upon as a curious and slightly frightening obsession.

So, more often than not, Levi patiently kept his mouth shut, listening to Hanji’s passionate rants and picking out the useful information only, letting the rest slide into oblivion. But tonight, Levi’s usual self-control act had been getting pushed toward its limit, a disgruntled frown hidden behind his cup of tea. And the reason? Always the same golden-haired bastard.

White sleeves rolled up to the elbows, torso leaning over the wooden table, his blue eyes bright and animated by the same radiant shimmer of curiosity as in Hanji’s gaze, Erwin was hanging onto his friend’s every word.

“So, if some plants can only survive in a special kind of climate, the outside world must be...”

“Full of plants yet unknown to us! And of landscapes we can’t even imagine! And if that plant we brought back can only thrive in a wet kind of environment...”

“...Maybe there’s a large pool of water somewhere further away, beyond the limit we stopped at last time!”

Levi cursed Hanji from the bottom of his heart. Erwin’s entire attention seemed to be focused on the subject, blind to the rest of the room.

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here, we’re not quite sure of anything yet,” Moblit put his hands up with a sheepish smile, cooling off some of Hanji’s building elation. “First, let’s see how our titan and our plants fare in the upcoming weeks...”

“Our titan and our plants!” Hanji happily cried out, squeezing Moblit’s hand, cheeks burning red from excitement.

“Even if it’s only guesses, the captive titans and those plants can still provide precious information. It takes us one step closer to knowing the truth of the world,” Erwin’s hopeful and determined gaze met Hanji’s, both bound by a mutual fervour.

Levi silently watched them from the side, scowling. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t give a lesser shit about all of this - he wanted to rid the world of titans, to keep tightening until the last monster fell under their blades. Not bustle about captured titans in wonderment or waste time growing plants... In that moment, he resent their joy; joy sprung from the bloody cadavres of their comrades. Was this what they dedicated their heart for? Part of Levi knew perfectly well that, of course, all Hanji and Erwin gushed over was important to some degree. But he couldn’t quite share in their foolishness.

“Well, here’s to another step then,” Moblit raised his glass, smiling fondly when he caught a glimpse of the earnest exhilaration radiating off Hanji’s face. She did more often than not put him through the mill, but that’s also why he liked her, wasn’t it?

The other two officers followed Moblit’s lead, lifting their glasses up into the air, but before clinking them together Erwin shot a lighthearted look at Levi, raising his eyebrows as if asking the Captain to join in. With a muffled sigh, Levi shook his head reluctantly.

“Teacups aren’t meant for your drunken shit.”

He got away with a small movement of the hand, slowly shooting it upward in a way that made it seem he took part in the toast.

Erwin, Hanji, and Moblit drank on cordially, indulging in one of the rare merry celebrations they’d allow themselves to enjoy - the last expedition had been a success after all, with no casualties and only two superficially hurt soldiers! Such victories did truly raise the troops’ morale, so, in addition to the dinner feast everybody got to delight in, Erwin wanted to also congratulate the officers who had been working had on the expedition. Hence the wine. 

Only when the crepuscular haze of the night sky hovered over the barracks did the party begin to retire, tired grins and slightly dizzy heads wishing each other goodnight with remains of gaiety seeping through their lips; such a carefree, congenial time would probably be long to come again, so they had drunk from the brimming glass of furtive bliss until the very last honeyed drop dried out on their tongue. Waving Erwin and Levi goodnight, Hanji - held up by Moblit, bless his soul - stumbled around the corner of the corridor leading to her quarters, relying on the loyal shoulder that would help her get to her room safe and sound and not accidentally crash someplace else and carelessly pass out for the night. 

Much like Moblit, Levi had taken up the habit of bringing Erwin to his room after another day of exhausting work or a festive evening, watching the commander’s ever steady pace out of the corner of his attentive eye and listening to him jabber about whatever occupied his mind on that day, barely responding himself, but always paying silent attention to Erwin’s words. Although he didn’t admit it to his own self at first - he liked it. Liked having Erwin stroll beside him, his deep and slightly fatigued voice untangling the knots in Levi’s own head, keeping everything at bay but an inexplicable wave of... comfort. And, soon enough, the comfort had even turned into something more. 

“Did you enjoy the night, Levi?” Erwin inquired in his usual late-night chattery fashion, fingers already working the top buttons of his white shirt as the commander’s quarters arose in their field of vision.

The only answer he got out of Levi was a grunt, the short Captain pushing the door before them open. It slammed against the wall a little too harshly.

“Something on your mind?” Erwin persevered, trying to read the other man’s crossed features. 

“Alright.” Levi ended up conceding, a resigned sigh escaping the vexed line of his mouth. “Erwin, I can’t seem to give the slightest crap about those shitty plants.”

“Ah, Hanji may convince you they’re—” Erwin started again, smiling at what he thought was just a heedless comment of Levi’s, but the way he was interrupted soon let him guess otherwise.

“No, you don’t understand. I don’t get excited like you brats. I just... Don’t. I can’t bring myself to care about shitty glasses’ experiments. Or even... That stuff you talked about,” Levi waved his hand vaguely, hoping it was allusive enough.

A thoughtful moment’s silence passed, Erwin considering what Levi had just admitted - he began to recall now how retiring Levi had indeed seemed during tonight’s celebration, quietly grumbling by himself and even cutting short on the playful insults he would usually hand out.

“I’m sorry that you didn’t have fun tonight, Levi.”

“Feel sorry for yourself. You’re the one stuck with a killjoy of a brat,” Levi attempted a sarcastic smile, but it came out distorted by a hint of sad resignation. Ever since he and Erwin had... this - whatever it was called - Levi didn’t hold back as much as he used to anymore; something about Erwin’s kind understanding, no matter the slander ghosts clouding the Captain’s mind, put him at ease. So Levi spoke his mind.

“Sorry?”

Erwin’s reassuring arms twined around Levi’s torso, the commander’s head settling on top of his - the height difference, Levi had to admit, was convenient -, and he planted a long kiss on top of his head; the first real one of the day, after the hasty pecks he had stolen from Levi in between tasks. For Levi, those intimate hours were dreams he’d never wish to wake up from. “Why should I feel sorry, when I can’t believe my luck?”

“I’m not exactly the funniest person you can find, in case you hadn’t noticed.”

“And so what? I, for one thing, think you are funny. Your dark humour may take some getting used to at first, but afterwards, you crack me up, my dear,” Erwin mused, littering Levi’s neck with sloppy kisses. “I love you.”

“You’re a terrible liar, Erwin.”

However, Levi’s heavy heart did feel lighter already; to feel Erwin’s lips on his skin, his warm hands fiddling with Levi’s uniform to help him take it off, his precious words whispered against his ear - for Levi, and Levi only, to hear and treasure and greedily take for himself - soothes the Captain’s unexpected rush of self-depreciation. But seeing how happy Erwin had looked while talking to Hanji and Moblit had left a painful imprint Levi struggled to erase from his memory. What if... what if he’d never make Erwin this happy?

“Levi, I don’t care that you don’t get excited over shitty plants. You and I can care about different things and still care about each other too, yeah?” Levi felt the nuzzle in his neck send shivers down his spine, another one of Erwin’s kisses mending the cracks in his heart one by one. “I know you press my shirts whenever they get too creased. You bring coffee and food to my office when I’m working too much. You take Hanji’s laundry into her room when she forgets it. You help the recruits who fall behind in training...” Erwin kept on talking, going around Levi to face him in the candlelit room, until his nose gently bumped against his, and their lips met in what Levi could only describe as solace. “The list goes on and on. These are all the things you care about. And I love you for it.”

“...It seems your sappy stuff still gets me. You shitty, sentimental brat,” Levi drowned a teary chuckle in Erwin’s chest, clutching the fabric of the commander’s uniform in his fist. Then, he retired in his cat-like fashion, starting to ondo the buttons Erwin had started to work on. “I had no idea you were fucking spying on me the entire time.”

“Your fault.” Erwin followed Levi’s lead, getting rid of his own uniform before he slipped into bed, a tired look softening his features, and loose strands of hair falling out of place upon his forehead.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Levi joined him, huddling beneath the clean and cosy bedsheets, and brushed the hair away from Erwin’s face, savouring its end-of-the-day softness between his fingers.

“It’s your fault for having such a beautiful soul.”

“A beautiful soul?” Levi scoffed gently, pressing his shoulder against Erwin’s. “Never heard anything this stupid before.”

“It’s true. You may not believe me yet, but I’ll keep doing this” Erwin took Levi’s hand in his, kissing his calloused knuckles - “and this” -, then wrist - “and this”, then forearm, “and this, until you do.”

“I’m no sap like you, so it might take a while...,” Levi murmured in return, pressing a kiss into Erwin’s neck. A beautiful soul? Never before had Levi heard such words - and never before had his heart skipped a beat like it did when they struck him.

“It’s okay,” Erwin cuddled up to Levi, not suppressing a deep contented sigh when the other man’s nails gently raked his scalp, playing with his hair. “I won’t quit.”

[wrctings]

Levi Ackerman, Armin Arlert, and Jean Kirschtein | My sea

i really wanted to write a piece about these four, who are some of my favourite aot duos so far. midnight sun left me broken, the tears were real for both erwin and armin, who both are such amazing characters who actually resemble each other in a lot of ways in my opinion (their dream, the “become a monster to defeat one” mentality...). i think armin was the best choice and erwin’s ending was absolutely beautiful, especially since in the end he even gave up on his dream for humanity, and got to rest 💔

i also have such a deep love for erwin and levi’s bond, which evolved into something really strong and was perfectly captured by levi ordering erwin to give up on his dream and die and erwin thanking him. i will miss them together so much

and here’s to armijean for being the glue that held everyone together 

fandom: Attack on Titan summary: (SPOILERS FROM SEASON 3) Where Levi mourns Erwin, and Armin tells Jean about his dream. word count: 2k

It’s strange how, in an instant, the world collapses. We think it to crumble, softly—we think that the tides’ assaults erode the sandy grooves, that the dented rocks break loose in long moans barely murmured. For years, for centuries of whispers carried away by maritime gusts of wind, cliffs caressed by the bewitching songs of the sea devote themselves to it, until they get lost, forever. Millenniums pass before the earth yields, and sinks into the abysmal depths of a quiet rest, only white flowers of foam laid upon its grave, facing skywards. Levi had never seen the sea. To be honest, he had never imagined anything as such until Eren’s tears had told him about it for the first time, just like a first step he had already taken toward the opposition direction, which brought him closer to the unrecognizable charred body lying there, so close already... The sea. Here’s what had enslaved Armin. The sea—was it bigger than a basement of truth?

════════════════════════════════════════

The table which Levi’s fingers unconsciously grazed happened to only be stained by a thin coat of dust; a day and a night had separated him from it, which had not yet been sufficient for anyone to venture inside in the Commander’s absence. Now, dying rays of crepuscular light barely tangled in the curtains, though the latter had let in cascades of sunlight just the day before as they fluttered in the breeze—as if that light itself had been full of the hope harboured by the few officers gathered around the table. Erwin had been standing in this very light. Levi should’ve guessed it—since the beginning, he had been a child of the underground. There was no light there.

Nothing had changed since the day before. Nothing, except from the white shroud that Levi had followed to the gates of the city roaring with cheers, swirling with confetti and unhoped for smiles. The Scouts had taken back Shiganshina! Shiganshina, whose fertile lands had been soaked in the blood of those sacrificed, and where new flowers would end up blossoming upon dislocated bodies. And yet, they had vanquished, and Levi knew the price that they had had to pay. That prize still haunted this entire room, where, upon each book cover, upon each fleck of dust clinging onto Levi’s skin, upon the empty chairs, was engraved the name Erwin Smith.

“More than humanity’s victory?” The question broke through Levi’s lips, sending a dull shiver down the silent walls. His eyes, reduced to dark slits, stared onwards, beyond the table, “Tch. You’re a liar, Erwin.”

Why couldn’t Levi keep going forward? Why did he suddenly feel hands around his neck, forcing him to bite back cruel words as soon as he was on the verge of hurling them at Erwin?

“Erwin, you’re a selfish brat...” In a deafening bang, the wooden table was pulverised—sharp splinters flew, accompanied by the reddish cuts which appeared upon Levi’s clenched fingers, where his hand had stricken the piece of furniture. “No, you should’ve been a selfish brat... Why didn’t you...”

Warm. The trail that trickled down Levi’s face was warm, running down his jaw, then his chin, before it slowly fell into the cloth tied around the Captain’s neck. Levi should’ve kown; right from the start, they never stayed around for long. Kutchel, Kenny, Isabel, Furland... Erwin. When had he fooled himself into believing that things would end up differently?

“Why did you give up on your dream?” His shoulders had started to shake; the warmth was there, everywhere upon his face, his lips, streaming—he couldn’t stop, couldn’t choke his own self into silence, as he had done so many times before... But there was nobody to stop for in this room. No one could’ve been watching. No one to put up his brave mask for. “You were so close... Why didn’t you listen to me, if it was to give up after all? I should’ve broken your legs, I should’ve... I should’ve...” Levi’s hand instinctively clapped over his mouth, stifling a convulsive sob in its palm. For the first time in years, he cried for all those who had left, and especially now for the last one of them—Erwin, who had given Levi a chance to embrace the goodness that his heart held within; Erwin, who was now dead. “You’re a fucking brat, Erwin... A fucking brat who proved himself selfless after all... All those lives,” Levi gasped for breath, knees hitting the floor, and he swore he was back, then—back to that half-lit street in Shiganshina, asking Erwin to give up on his dream and die. He was the one who ordered him to do so. “You made something of them. Like them, you gave your heart. And you gave people hope.” Clutching his green cape, embroidered with those wings of liberty that bore the burden of sacrifice, Levi managed to gulp a breath of air, bending forward. What else was there to say? What else could Levi do, when darkness had suddenly once more engulfed his world. “I never got to tell you this, but... Thank you, Erwin.” His voice—almost a murmur—could barely finish. And then...

And then Levi did what he always had. Drying his tears with the back of his arm, he dragged himself back up, brushing dust off his clothes, gaining control over his breathing. He cleared his throat, his gaze sweeping the room, above the broken table.

“You will rest now. And that kid, Armin, I know he will do his best. He has a dream too. The sea,” Levi spoke again, more like himself now, calmer. “Apparently, it’s like a wide lake. A sentimental brat like you would’ve probably liked to see it. But, don’t worry,” and there, Levi’s face softened, and in front of him flashed the memory of deep blue eyes and the immortalized sight of gratitude. “I’ll tell you all about it someday.”

════════════════════════════════════════

"Hey, Armin!"

By the time the far-off voice reached him, Armin could clearly decipher the beat of flashing footsteps upon the cobblestones, hurriedly catching up with the blond boy who had stopped in his tracks. Closer and closer came the drumming of this running pace, the only one, besides his own, that resounded through the sleepy neighborhood at this time of day, ripping the drowsy descent of the evening's torpor apart to snap Armin's mind back to reality. He had been just a daydream away…

"Armin, wait!"

A little surprised from the suddenness of the apparition that arose so rapidly from behind, Armin blinked several times, his gaze falling with renewed clarity upon the surroundings he had distractedly lost track of; the half-timbered houses, hills curving further ahead, last beams of sunlight showering the path he walked upon—everything around retook its place. And, a few seconds later, a panting Jean pulled to a halt right next to him, hands plastered to his knees as his chest shook from the breaths he took, having visibly run all the way there.

"The hell you're walking so fast for!" Jean complained, huffing and puffing, while his eyes searched for any kind of foretelling answer on Armin's face, which stared back at him with an uncanny pensiveness, reflective enough to strike the chords of Jean's worry. "Hey, Armin? What are you doing here?"

"I… I'm sorry," forcing himself to blink anew, wiping for good the lingering picture that had how somehow replaced everything around, Armin focused instead on the concerned glimmer he could decipher in Jean's hazel eyes, which clung onto him, dragging him back from the far away place he had escaped to.

"What's going on? Conny and I didn't see you around, so I thought you might be outside. Aren't you with the other two idiots?" Jean asked, trying to make his tone light, though he couldn't get rid of the preoccupation that still seeped through.

"No, I was asked to leave. They said that I could come back tomorrow… Did you come all the way here because you were looking for me?"

"Well, uh," scratching the back of his neck, Jean's couldn't hide his embarrassment very well either. "After everything you've been through for the past hours, we thought it wouldn't hurt to check up on you. Wouldn't want you to do anything insane like turning into a Titan on your own or something," the brunet muttered an excuse, walking along beside his friend.

"Oh, thank you," Armin's touched expression took over his previous thoughtfulness, leaving room for the boy's natural timid friendliness. "I think I'm okay. I have to be, anyway. So the Commander's life didn't go to waste for nothing," he concluded quietly, looking down on the scuffed fabric of his shoes, worn out over the years. He had barely been wearing them lately, having traded them for his military boots, save for the night he, Eren and Mikasa had strolled about together in this very place, just before the fated day of their expedition to Shiganshina.

The two boys walked by each other's side, silence trailing behind. Chewing on his bottom lip, Jean glanced at Armin, his lips parting to speak, but then his mouth shut close again, the young man's eyebrows knitted gravely, and he swallowed.

"Armin," finally, he brought himself to speak again. "What is it that the other idiot said was your dream? That thing… The sea?"

Armin froze, eyes wide open—the sea. Then, taking several steps forward, he sat on the stone staircase skirting the neighbourhood, in the same place he and his friends had settled just the day before, watching the city sleep as they dreamed new promises… The sea. He had promised them.

"The sea… It's a large body of water, a salt lake" Armin explained, still a little startled from Jean's blunt question. Did Eren really talk about the sea? He couldn't remember anything prior to his wake after the injection… "A salt lake so big that merchants could spend their whole lives and still not get all the salt," he went on softly, not knowing how Jean would react; but he wanted to tell him anyway. After everything they had been through together ever since this unexpected friendship had started to bloom, Armin felt like he could entrust Jean with his dream. If he had been the one to live on, after all, maybe Jean was entitled to know what they brought him back for… What Armin sought more than anything. "I read about it in a book, when I was a kid. It must be somewhere far away."

"A salt lake, you say…" Jean repeated, almost in a whisper, as if the words themselves contained some unattainable sacredness he could barely grasp. "Does something like that really exist?"

Armin didn't have to think twice.

"I'm sure it does. And other things, too. Hot areas full of sand, places so cold there's ice everywhere… They were in my book. I think there are some things we can't even imagine beyond the walls."

"Shit, Armin, that's crazy…"

With golden light entangling in his blond hair, his bright blue eyes turned toward the limitless sky, it seemed to Jean that Armin could already see beyond those houses lined up in front of them, beyond the city, beyond the walls…

"I promised Eren that we'll see the sea," the boy's features hardened, landing a punch on Jean's heart—after the horrors that Shiganshina etched in his memory, he could barely guess how profoundly it had impacted Armin, though they had word their friend suffered from partial amnesia. Still, to know that your life had been chosen over that of Commander Erwin… "I know I can't replace the Commander, but I promise to give everything I have to live up to the responsibility I was given,” Armin promised, looking Jean in the eyes with burning determination. “We'll all see the sea, Jean.”

From the dark alley, Levi could hear everything.

════════════════════════════════════════

Erwin, I know now you would’ve loved the sea. But looking at it, I can’t help but think—it’s like I’ve seen this somewhere before. Maybe, in your eyes.  

[marsbutterfly]

how are you Mars! hiii,, for hcs yk i can’t remember if @ tsukidrama wrote the Sugamama Yelena hcs or you! but if it okay if i can request like a similar thing but for Hange? idk if i would call them Sugamama or daddy😩😩 but yeaa <333

happy new year anon! it was tsuki who wrote the yelena headcanons but I'm happy to have written these, thank you for requesting.

Headcanons: Sugar Mommy! Hanji

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: ғᴇᴍ!ʜᴀɴᴊɪ x ғᴇᴍ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ, sᴍᴜᴛᴛʏ ᴛᴀʟᴋs, ᴀ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ sᴛᴀʟᴋᴇʀ! ʜᴀɴᴊɪ ᴀᴛ ᴏɴᴇ ᴘᴏɪɴᴛ.

• Hanji has been a multi-millionaire since the day she was born. She comes from a very wealthy family that owns a decent amount of companies and was handed everything in a silver platter.

• That does not mean that she doesn't know how to work hard. Tired of always depending on her parents, Hanji decided to start her own business but when all the luck is on your side, it isn't hard to become even richer than she already was.

• Eventually, she got bored. No matter what she could possibly want, money would be able to buy it without a problem. Houses, cars, women. Anything you can possibly think of.

• One day during a party, her eyes landed on a waitress who looked fresh out of college. She was mesmerized by the small outfit you were wearing in an attempt to win more tips.

• On that night, Hanji decided that she had to have you all to herself.

• So for a few days she stalked you. Following you around the city, ordering the same things you did at restaurants, trying to figure out things that you like and dislike.

• One day, you begin receiving small gifts in the mail but they aren't actually small.

• It varies from diamond necklaces to an actual fucking car.

• Eventually, Hanji grows the courage to talk to you and you are impressed by how beautiful she is though you are a little scared of the person who has been following you and leaving behind such extravagant presents.

• She asked for your phone number knowing damn well she already had it. The day she first saw you, she asked for the hot of the party to give her your number because she wanted to "hire you."

• Which wasn't all a lie, she did want to have you as her girl, even if you are just her sugar baby.

• And that's how you started sleeping with Hanji, just to make ends meet. Being fresh out of college, you were in so much debt that you barely had any money left.

• Hanji took care of you. She was kind and gentle.

• Ultimately, Hanji lives to spoil you. She will buy you new dresses and shoes to every event she takes you to so nobody can say you are "repeating clothes."

• She will buy you a new phone every time a new model comes out so you know that she spares no expenses when it comes to you.

• She loves to take you to expensive restaurants just to impress you. She lets you order her food because she wants you to pick the most expensive of meals.

• When it came to sex, Hanji loves nothing more than to fuck you with a strap-on and hold your hair tightly so your face is as close to hers as possible.

• She's the perfect switch partner. She loves to be on top but, at the same time, she loves nothing more than to be submissive to a beautiful woman like you.

• Hanji is big into bondage. She will buy all kinds of handcuffs, expensive ropes and toys. Oh she loves to buy toys to use on you.

• Her favorite toy would be the remote controlled vibrator. She would always ask you to put it in before you go to a party as her arm candy. And she controls that shit with her phone like it's a fucking experiment to see how long you can last.

• Hanji also loves to eat you out. Just the simple thought of your wet pussy makes her mouth salivate and she can only think of the delicious meal she's about to have.

• You are the one who introduced her to the world of fast food and sodas. Her favorite meal in the world is dollar menu cheeseburgers from McDonalds at 3am while she's high out of her mind.

• Eventually, you stopped being her sugar baby and accepted that you are now her official girlfriend, though she never asked but she didn't have to.

[marsbutterfly]

Maybe a one shot where Hamji x fem!reader both have matching eye injuries after shiganshina and it’s just soft with a lil angst and they’re just taking care of each other maybe with a lil bit of protective hangi

Request 2: Requests! 😍 how about a hurt comfort with Hange? 🥺

a/n: thank you for sending these my way. Y'all know how much I love writing for Hanji <3

A Promise Is A Promise

Summary: After losing Moblit, Hanji risks losing you too.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Wattpad! | AO3!

The darkness of the night swallows you. Your footsteps echo through the nearly empty hallways, a few familiar faces come and go, bringing light with them that doesn’t last, but gladly nobody stops to talk to you.

The only thing visible for miles is the flame coming from a small lantern that rests on Hanji’s table in her office. She has been cooped up there ever since you returned from Shiganshina, trying to wrap her head around everything that has happened.

Losing her eye was a constant reminder of everything else she had lost. Moblit, Erwin, she nearly lost you too. If it wasn’t for Marlo, who pushed you out of the line of fire for the Beat Titan’s rocks, you would have been gone along with the recruits. The scar on her face is a representation of the lives that didn’t get to return.

The discovery that humanity lives outside the walls was a blow none of you saw coming. And what is more disappointing is the reason why you have been condemned to live your life like this, because of something done hundreds of years ago, something that had nothing to do with your friends or your family.

At each look in the mirror, you would see your missing right eye. Every time you had to change the gauze, the fresh scar on your face would remind you of those who you had lost in Shiganshina.

During the first couple of weeks back, you and Hanji had been inseparable. Caring for each other though neither of you had any energy left. But once she was officially nominated the Commander of the Survey Corps, something in her attitude changed.

A week has passed since the last time you laid eyes on Hanji. You have tried knocking on her door at every hour of the day in the hopes of eventually getting her to open up to you but no such thing happened.

Instead, the only person who was allowed in the Commander’s office was Levi. From the outside, you could hear as they argued.

“You have to stop pushing Y/N away.” He says and you begin to hear rushed footsteps towards the door. Your first reaction is to hide at the end of the hallway, behind a large vase with green plants potted. “This is hurting the both of you. Put an end to your own misery.”

The hand opening the door didn’t belong to Levi but to the other person present in the room. “Leave my office. Now.” She says, voice echoing through the nearly empty hallway.

“You are just pitying yourself.” The man says, stomping towards the exit. His words earned a shriek from Hanji in response, who immediately slammed the door shut once Levi had made his way out.

In the silence of the night, the crashing sound that comes from her office is incredibly loud. You can hear the table being flipped and papers that once rested above the wooden surface now being thrown around.

Hanji’s voice comes from the small room, her words are mumbled under her breath so you can’t quite make up what she is trying to say but after a few seconds the word fuck filled the atmosphere around you as she screams from the top of her lungs.

Worried, you knock on the door gently only to find Hanji on the floor, her knees close to her chest while her head is buried. She barely looks up to see who it is and part of you feels as if she already knew.

“Are you ok?” You ask in a hushed tone, slowly closing the door behind you. “I mean, I know that is a stupid question but… are you?”

“Please, go away.” She says, her voice trembles as she raises her head to look at you. “Leave me alone.”

“You’re bleeding.” You say, noticing the eye bandage she has on is as dirty as it could possibly be, old blood has stained the once white cloth and new blood begins to pour down her face amongst the tears.

“I don’t care, just leave!” She begs once more, pointing at the door. You rush towards the bathroom only to hear as she grunts in response to your actions.

You wash your hands with soap, making sure they are as clean as possible. Afterwards, you take one of the small, white washcloths that rest in the cabinet before making it wet.

“Hanji, please. Let me take care of your eye.” You plead in a desperate attempt to reach her face with a wet, warm cloth. She dodges your hand as if it was a bullet and rushes towards the other side of the room, far away from you.

“No.” She says and you notice fresh blood mixing with her tears as they reach her chin. “I deserve to suffer.”

Her words feel as if a pile of bricks has now fallen on your head. A pain in your chest that can only be described as a heartbreak as you look at her broken figure on the floor. Her hands are trembling while her back rests against the cold, stone made walls.

She sits down on the floor again, boots kicking the air in an attempt to release any kind of pent up frustration.

“Moblit is dead.” She says as quietly as a whisper.

“Yes.” You reply though she didn’t ask you a question. “We have to keep carrying on his memory so more people will know about the amazing person he was. How brave and selfless. He died protecting you because he knew how important your survival would be.”

“He died saving me!” Hanji exclaims as she points to herself. “Do you have any idea how soul crushing that is?”

“No.” You say, allowing your back to slide down the wall towards the floor as you sit down, legs crossing before you. “Marlo pushed me out of the way before the Beast Titan’s rocks had the time to hit me and I lost consciousness. By the time I woke up, Levi had already taken him down and everybody else was gone.”

“Do you remember losing your eye?” She asks, gently taking her hand and placing it before her bandages.

“Yes.” You reply, unwrapping the dressing that covers the right side of your face, allowing your scar to breathe for the first time in days. “The pain I felt once the shattered glass hit it was so intense that I believe it to be the reason why I passed out.”

“Do you regret joining the Scouts?” Her voice is soft and you take this as an opportunity to walk closer to her, washcloth still in hand as you make sure she is focused on your scar and not on your movements.

“No.” You reply quickly, “Because that is how I met you and I would give away my remaining eye if it meant I get to spend the rest of my days by your side.”

You treat her like a delicate bird, scared that she will move away but she does no such thing. Your hand reaches for her face slowly, touching the smooth skin before beginning to unwrap the bandages that cover her eye.

She removes her glasses to give you enough space to work on her face. The injury is swollen, definitely infected from all the time it spent sitting around in the dirty fabric so carefully touch her cheek with your dominant hand, using the cloth to brush away the blood.

It is nearly engraved in her skin: all the dirt and pain she has been going through.

Once the washcloth is covered in dried blood, you rush towards the bathroom to rinse it out. Beside the toilet, you see a small, grayish bucket and decide to fill it up with warm water and soap.

Your eyes are constantly looking at the mirror, checking to see if Hanji has moved at all. She is still curled up in the exact same spot you left her.

Finally, you exit the bathroom and begin to reach for her. Your footsteps must have echoed a bit too loudly because Hanji trembles in response to the sound of your boots. Immediately after seeing her reaction, you undo the laces that tie it together before throwing the shoes in another part of the room.

Kneeling before her once again, you tell her to focus on your eyes. The soothing color Hanji has grown so used to and has been aching to see once again.

Belatedly you notice the pool of blood that forms on her chin, dripping onto the dark, wooden floors. It takes a second for you to notice that it comes from a couple of busted stitches.

“I need to re-do these, ok?” You say, pointing at her eye while looking around the medical bag that was once hidden underneath her desk and she nods. “It won’t be pleasant and I’m sorry.”

As the needle and the thread move ever so lightly around her skin, she doesn’t say a word. Not a whimper, not a sound. She sobs silently and you realize in that moment that the person you once knew is now a broken shell of their past self.

“Why have you been ignoring me?” You ask, placing down the instruments onto the floor and picking up a new roll of gauze. Your fingers move around her face with ease as they are used to the feeling of her skin.

“I couldn’t bring myself to look at you.” She replies, quietly lifting her chin so you would be able to have better access.

“But why not?” Yet another question leaves your throat, yet another question you didn’t expect an answer for. Your bottom lip sticks out as it trembles. “I could have helped you.”

Truth is this is one, if not the first time, you have ever seen Hanji speechless. She always had something to say but this time she looked as if exhaustion had been clouding her brain and she couldn't think through the fog.

You watch as her lips move, opening and closing without a single word making its way past. Eventually, she shrugs her shoulders in defeat while avoiding your gaze.

Gently, you take your hand over to her chin. Her brown eyes, which resembled the dark beverage from beyond the walls, meet yours and you can’t help the tears that begin to form. The streaks run down your face like the rain but you can’t look away from her.

“I miss Moblit.” She says, trembling hands reaching for your back until the very second where she pulls you close to her chest. The feeling is something you are all too familiar with and it feels like no time has passed since the last time you’ve been in her arms.

“I know you do.” You respond, offering her the best smile you can at this moment.

“I’m done ignoring you.” She says, planting a delicate kiss on the top of your head. “I will make something useful of the life I was given.”

“My love, you will be the greatest Commander the world has ever seen.” You say and notice how she has begun to turn into a blushing mess.

“Shut up.” She stutters. Hanji’s gaze turns away from yours as she looks out the window, quietly watching as the leaves dance with the wind outside.

The second knuckle of your index finger brushes against her face ever so lightly and she shrugs in delight in response to your touch. Your eyes fell from her smooth skin towards her parted mouth and suddenly your lips touched hers. She could not resist the kiss yearned for all her life.

A sound escapes her throat, no longer than a hum. In her breath, you can taste the lavender tea she had earlier that evening. It’s a soothing flavor, to which your brain associated with all the nights you stayed awake together, sharing stories, theories, and much more.

To pull away could only be compared to torture. You wish for that moment to never end, for Hanji to remain at this exact same spot until the day your bodies expire from this earth and you move onto a better place.

The shine in her eye is back for the first time since your return from Shiganshina and you couldn’t wish for anything else in the entire world.

“I couldn’t do it before but…” She begins to say and you notice as her brain scrambles to try and find the right words, “From now on, I will protect you from any harm that might come your way.” She finishes.

“Do you promise?” You ask, touching your forehead to hers while your index finger brushes against her cheek once more.

“I promise.”

Tag list: @tsukidrama - @ackermanslutsstuff - @127moonshua - @cess02 - @unadulteratedtreecrusade - @annieleonhardtsbitch - @totoroshirts - @wheepingsunflower

[marsbutterfly]

Hey Mars can I request this prompt “You make me feel alive. For the first time ever, I feel like I can breathe.” for Eren and Fem!Reader where after Reader freshened up to get ready for bed dressed in her nightgown with a beautiful flower crown on her head before laying down with Eren, snuggling close to his freshly clean naked body, and have their loving moments together under the moonlight as part of the Valentine’s Day event? Thank you and sending lots of love - 🍃

Under The Pale Moonlight

Mars' Valentine's Day Event | Wattpad | Ao3

Warnings: Nudity but no smut, not edited.

Prompt: You make me feel alive. For the first time ever, I feel like I can breathe.”

The silver moon reflects on the water that pools in the sink, the image it forms quickly dissolves once you dip your hands in it, gathering enough liquid to rinse off the soap that was used to wash your face.

As you perform your nightly routine, Eren rinses his body off in the shower after brushing his black locks. With one hand, he uses his fingers to go through his hair, undoing any tangles that might remain while the other reaches for the wall for extra support.

After a squeeze of the toothpaste container, you begin to brush your teeth - the last part of your hygiene process. The sound of running water stops and you look at the man’s pale skin, steaming from the hot shower.

“Did you wash your face?” He asks, reaching for his towel that rests on the hook and you nod. “Did you take any medicine you might need?”

You raise a finger, wordlessly asking him to wait a moment before you respond. He begins to dry himself by the hair, shuffling the towel around in the hopes of getting every possible lock. In the meanwhile, you grab a big cup of water and take a sip, rinsing all toothpaste from within your mouth.

“I was going to do that before we got into bed.” You respond and Eren makes a sound with his mouth, acknowledging your words. “Did you?”

He pauses for a second, having to think about the answer. After wrapping the first towel around his head, he uses a second one to pat his body dry, starting with his chest, going down his arms and abdomen and finally going through his legs.

“I don’t think so.” He replies and you shake your head in disapproval.

“Good grief.” You say and he smiles. A devious smile you have grown all too used to but still filled with the joy of a mischievous child. He finishes drying himself off and wraps the second towel around his waist, covering himself.

Once you begin to make your way out of the bathroom, you feel his warm hand wrapping around your wrist. He pulls you back inside with a twirl before using his arm to support your waist.

“You’re forgetting something.” He says and when a puzzled expression takes over your face, he snorts.

He proceeds to let you go, earning a sad whine in response to his actions. A cold sensation replaces the comforting and warm feeling of his arms around you and sadness begins to kick in.

“Can’t go to bed without your flower crown.” He says, slowly placing the headdress on you. A sense of hatred settling inside of you for barely even a second for forgetting about the most important part of your nightwear.

“Thank you.” You reply, adjusting the crown on your head. “I would be so upset if I woke up without it tomorrow.”

“I know, baby. It compliments your nightgown.” He says and it earns a genuine smile out of you.

Eren never quite understood why that small object meant so much to you, especially because it was just something he made out of little fake flowers he bought at the flea market. It wasn’t expensive or elegant, it was just a bunch of vines intertwined together.

And in that moment, he finally got it. For so long he wasn’t able to afford a nice present for you so he just made presents as the anniversaries and special dates went by but the time and effort he put into that little crown was worth more than any diamond he could ever find.

He extends his hand, quietly waiting for you to meet him halfway and you oblige. Still wearing nothing but a simple towel, he begins to guide you outside the house, towards the backyard. Confused, you ponder if you should question him or not.

Finally, the man stands behind you and covers your eyes during the final few steps.

“What are you doing?” You decide that there is only so much you can go on with without questioning his sanity.

“I have a surprise for you.” He replies as if it was the most obvious thing in the entire world and you scoff. “Don’t complain, you are going to love it.”

“I didn’t even - “

“I said don’t complain!” He insists before tickling your armpits slowly. His actions result in a little scream making its way past your once shut lips, closely followed by a laugh. “Ok, you can open your eyes now.”

And when you do, you are received by the image of the trampoline you have in the backyard covered in blankets and pillows, the perfect cozy space you’ve always wanted to try but never actually had the time to get it all together.

Eren goes first, hopping on the trampoline. In the process of jumping, his towel falls to the floor and the only piece of cloth on his body is the one covering his hair. He blushes lightly and before he has time to reach down to grab the towel from the grass, you raise your hand.

“You were going to take it off anyway.” You say with a smile. “Just go under one of the blankets.”

He nods but instead of following your instructions, he extends his hand out to you in the hopes of giving you any kind of necessary support and you gladly take it.

You can see every vein in his arm as he flexes to pull you up, his wet hair hidden by the towel but a small strand escapes the confinement. With one hand, you grab the edge of your nightgown, making it easier to stand up and, with the other, you reach for him.

His touch is gentle though his hands are rough. When he lifts you up onto the trampoline, you swear for a moment that you could reach the stars if he was there to assist you.

Gently, he walks backwards as he guides you towards the massive pile of pillows and blankets. He doesn’t turn around for a second because he knows you will make a comment about how pale his asscheeks are.

“Your throne, my queen.” He says, moving slightly to the left to give you passage. Carefully not to fall, you walk across the first pile of blankets before landing on a particularly thick pillow that rests beside Eren’s foot.

The moon shines brightly in the sky and it illuminates the path towards the designated spot Eren assigned for you in between your two favorite pillows.

“Thank you.” You reply, spreading the edges of your nightgown as if it was the most expensive dress money could possibly buy.

“Are you comfortable?” He asks, pulling up the blanket to shield your legs from the cold night air. You nod in response, watching as he walks away slowly. He must have noticed the sadness in your face as he walks away because immediately he tells you, “I’m just going to zip this up so nothing falls on the grass. Wouldn’t want to deal with blankets covered in dirt.”

The sound of the zipper being pulled up fills your ears and Eren’s muffled footsteps follow closely behind it. As he walks back, you adjust yourself underneath the many blankets, you pull his hand, yanking him down and he comes crashing against your body.

He can’t help himself but laugh, a heartfelt laughter that reminds you of some of the happiest memories you have ever had.

“You know…” The two of you say at the exact same time before sharing a laugh.

“You can go first.” You tell Eren, feeling as you steal the warmth of his naked body that is so tightly pressed against yours.

“I want you to know that you make me feel alive. For the first time ever, I feel like I can breathe.” He says, fingers gently traveling through the curve of your body, so lightly much like the flap of a butterfly’s wings. He always knew exactly what to say in moments such as this.

“I was just going to say that I love you but I like what you said much more.” You say feeling as your cheeks begin to burn in embarrassment, though you don’t really understand why. You’ve had similar interactions with Eren but none where he explicitly said that you make him feel alive.

“It’s the same thing.” He smiles at you, placing a kiss on the back of your head. “I love you too.”

You proceed to take his arm and wrap it around your waist, pulling him as close to you as possible. With his free hand, he uses his fingers to go through your hair, removing any string that might be attached to your flower crown.

Under the pale moonlight, he begins to hum the melody to your favorite lullaby, slowly helping you drift into your sleep though he is the one to drift away first.

You smile, paying close attention to the way he is breathing so you can match him. Your chest rises and falls at the exact same pace and it brings a comforting sensation to your heart.

“I love you so much, sweet boy.” You whisper, pulling his hand, slowly not to wake him up, towards your lips before planting a gentle kiss on the surface. You place it back exactly where it was and he doesn’t move an inch.

You simply watch the moon and the stars dance together as if they are putting on a show just for you.

In Eren’s arms, you can’t help but feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

[marsbutterfly]

Rather Be

Summary: Gender dysphoria is a term that describes a sense of unease that a person may have because of a mismatch between their biological sex and their gender identity.

Wattpad! | AO3! | Part 2

A pair of usually whiskey brown eyes meet yours when she walks through the door, except this time they are clouded by the ocean of tears that dare roll down her face.

You touch her cheek, feeling as Hanji nuzzles herself against your hand desperately looking for some sort of comfort.

“What’s wrong?” You ask in a gentle tone, almost as if you are speaking to a stray animal while trying to earn its trust.

“Do you promise to still love me no matter what?” She asks, her hands and lips trembling as she looks at you with desperation in her eyes.

“Sweetheart, of course.” You reply, taking her hands on yours and planting a heartfelt kiss on her left thumb. “There is nothing you could say that would make me love you any less than I do right now.”

“Are you sure?” Hanji asks in between hiccups. You sigh, pulling her close to your chest and hugging her tightly.

You don’t want to admit it but a part of you fears what she has to say. Your mind wanders to awful places and you begin to question your entire relationship, fearing that maybe she has cheated on you or worse.

Tears now form in your eyes as your hands begin to tremble, holding her so tightly you can hear her breath becoming shallow.

“Y/N you’re starting to hurt me.” She says, a small smile now forming on her lips.

“I’m sorry.” You say, sharing a smile of your own, “So what did you want to tell me?”

“I think…” She begins to say, voice barely audible as she finishes her sentence, “I think I’m non-binary.”

You fall silent for a few seconds, maybe even minutes, and you can’t help but smile in relief. Hanji looks at you while tears still shine brightly in their eyes and you can tell they are still scared of how you will react.

Their bottom lip trembles as their breathing becomes irregular. To show them everything is ok, you take their face in your hands before planting several kisses all over their cheeks and lips. You don’t stop until they show you a smile of their own.

“Do you still love me?” They ask and you roll your eyes before laughing warningly.

“Of course I do!” You reply, wrapping your arms around their legs and spinning Hanji around. Their laugh is contagious and you can’t stop yourself from laughing with them. “What can I do to help you feel more comfortable?”

“Maybe you can cut my hair for me?” They ask and you nod, excitement rushing through your veins as you place them back down on the ground. “I would like it to be a lot shorter than it is right now.”

“Fuck yes, I will cut your hair!” You say, clapping your hands together. “What else?”

“My breasts have been bothering me for a while now, could you maybe help me choose a binder?” They ask, a blush covering their face as they gesture around their torso. You nod, taking their hands and lacing your fingers together.

“I would be honored to help you choose a binder.” You reply with a smile, “If you would like, we can start saving for top surgery.”

“I actually already started saving a little bit.” They say, their face now completely red in embarrassment, almost like a little kid who has done something bad. “I hate the way that I look right now.”

“You are beautiful, love.” You respond, ghosting your fingers above their cheek. “I want you to feel like you are beautiful, no matter what. I will help you!”

“Really?” They ask, a shine in their eyes.

Instead of responding with words, you realize that actions would speak louder so you take their face into your hands once again, pulling it close to yours until your lips are sealed together in a passionate kiss.

Through your action, you are able to pass along that there is not a single inch of you that bears any ill will towards them, in fact you know how much courage it took for them to share with you how they feel.

You want to show your support, how you will do anything and everything in your power to make sure they are comfortable in their own skin. 

“I love you.” You say, placing your forehead against theirs and with a bright smile they reply.

“I love you too.”

[marsbutterfly]

HI MARS!!

for your event, can i have eren and fluff prompt #4? 🥰

Life Of The Party

Warnings: alcohol consumption, everyone is over 18.

Prompt: "You come here often?” “Well, I work here. So I think I’d have to say ‘yes’."

Mars' Valentine's Day Event | Wattpad | AO3

Life as a college student was always hard. Between studying for your exams and working almost every night at the city’s most popular bar, you barely have enough energy to spend with your friends and family.

Sometimes, you would catch yourself wondering what life could be like if you just took the time to be yourself, to be one of those girls on the dance floor with no worries on their mind, only focused on keeping the drink in their hands from spilling.

Though, thankfully, your best friends Sasha and Mikasa always have you back. They will have food ready for you when you get home and even sometimes rub your feet, they are amazing friends who would do anything to make sure you are happy and healthy.

You have been working there for months and, in that time, formed bonds with the drunk men who come over to drink their sorrows away. You have more in common with them than you would like to admit but they do know how to start a conversation.

One not so busy night, you watch closely as one of your regulars walks into the bar with a limp. It was safe to say that he had been drinking prior to coming over and you had already decided that you were not going to serve him any alcohol that night, only water.

“Y/N, would you get me the usual?” The drunk man asks, slurring around his words as he attempts to sit on the stool before his foot slips and his head slams against the counter. The wound on his forehead threatens to bleed but you won’t give it time.

You rush towards him with a clean towel in hand, pressing it against the injured area. A concerned look on your face while the man laughs his troubles away, not worrying in the slightest about the hit he just took to the head.

“I think you’ve had enough, Dr Yeager.” You say, wrapping the man’s arm around your shoulder while your free arm supports his upper body by the waist. He drags his feet, making it harder for you to carry him.

“No, it was nothing.” He says before letting out a burp that smells more like beer than all the drinks at the bar. “I’m a doctor, I know I’ll be fine.”

You reach for the pocket of his jacket, pulling out the keychain with a picture of his wife and his two sons. “Well, I’m not giving this back to you until you have at least sober up a bit but that seems like it will take a while. Why don’t you call your oldest son?”

“Zeke? Oh no, we don’t really talk.” He says and a few tears form in his eyes, “I miss my oldest boy.”

Mentally, you curse yourself for bringing the man up. Grisha has told you time and time again about all the awful things he has done to him and how much he regrets it all, so while he cries on the floor hugging your leg, you pick up his phone from the counter and dial his other son.

You can’t see his name that shines from the screen due to it being cracked in the most awkward angle but you are able to see his contact picture. His bright green eyes pierce through your heart in a second and you feel an unusual feeling in the pit of your stomach.

He is the most beautiful man you have ever seen.

“Dad, what the fuck?” The sleepy voice on the other end of the call says, clearly disturbed to have been woken up. “It’s almost 4am, where the hell are you?”

“Ahmm, is this Dr Yeager’s son?” You ask, rubbing the back of your neck with your free hand. Every so often, you will shoot a few glances over at Grisha, who lies on the floor half asleep and half sobbing uncontrollably while whispering his eldest son’s name.

“Oh.” The tone of his voice changes completely and you can hear as the covers shuffle around on the other end. “Yes, this is him. Oh God, I can hear loud music, is my dad at the bar again?”

“Yes…” You reply and the man sighs. “I took his keys away but he hit his head pretty hard and he’s also very drunk, I don’t think he is in any condition to be driving.”

“Fuck. Ok, I’ll go pick him up, could you text me the address?” He says while putting on his shoes and reaching for the keys to his mother’s car.

“Yeah, of course.” You reply and the boy thanks you before hanging up, the last sound you hear is the car turning on and the garage door opening in the background.

It takes him less than ten minutes to show up. His hair is in a messy mixture between a ponytail and a bun, the bags underneath his eyes are deep but he still looks beautiful nevertheless. His piercing green eyes are what catch your attention immediately.

Those eyes that make you melt inside within a second of just looking at them, that bring butterflies to your stomach for the first time in oh so long.

When they land on you, he can’t look away anymore. The man makes his way towards you, no shirt in sight and a simple robe barely wrapped in a knot covering his chest. He steps over his father’s asleep body.

“Hi, I’m Eren. You come here often?”

“Well, I work here. So I think I’d have to say ‘yes’. You respond, a smirk taking over the corner of your lips.

Suddenly a blush spreads across his cheeks, “Oh you are the one who called me.”

“Yeah, I’m Y/N.” You reach for his hand in the hopes of shaking it and he smiles, following your actions.

“Nice to meet you.” The boy replies, flashing you one of the most beautiful smiles you had ever seen in your entire life. Once his father grunts on the floor, he gets out of the transe you put in him and he kneels down beside him. “Are you ready to go home?”

“No. I don’t want to see your mother, she's going to kill me.” Dr Yeager says, not cooperating with his youngest son who attempts to wrap his father’s arm around his shoulder. The boy grunts in annoyance, smelling his father’s breath.

“She’s going to kill you for waking me up on a school night so either way, you’re dead, Old Man.” Eren says, a devious smile on his face as he brings his father outside and throws his half-conscious body inside the car.

You follow him closely behind, Grisha’s wallet in your hands before handing it to Eren and in that second, your hands touched and you felt as if you had already met him before.

“Thank you for not letting him drive in this state.” Eren says, pulling you in for a hug. He reaches for your cheek to plant a small kiss as a way of thanking you but you accidentally turn your face around, causing your lips to touch his.

Your cheeks burn in embarrassment but you can’t pull away, so you wrap one arm around his neck and the other you use to place your hand on his jawline. The way his lips touch yours is gentle, he doesn’t try to pull away or make it awkward, he just goes with it.

Part of you refuses to pull away from him, taking in the smell of his after shave lotion. Deep inside of you, a voice says that you’ve met him before but your brain can’t quite place where.

As he deepens the kiss, a current of air rushes by and undoes his messy hairstyle. Your hair and his mix together in the wind and a few flowers from a tree underneath swirl around you, it’s a scene worthy of a disney movie.

Once he pulls away, you notice how red his cheeks are but the smile on his lips is so bright you can’t look anywhere else.

“I’m so sorry.” He says, removing his hands from your waist. “I got carried away!”

“No, no I’m the one who should apologize, I moved my head last second!” You say, feeling as your cheeks burn once more.

“Eren? Is that you?” Mikasa says, rushing towards the boy before giving him a big hug. “I haven’t seen you in forever!”

The boy looks a little awkward at first but hugs her back nevertheless. “I know, would you mind if I called you later? I have to take my dad home.”

“Sure, but fucking call me!” Mikasa demands in a playful tone and Eren smiles, nodding his head. Before he lets her go, he whispers something in her ear and it results in the two of them looking at you.

He rushes to the driver seat of the car and drives away at a ridiculous speed, drifting through the turns with ease and you realize he is trying to show off so you can’t help but let out a laugh, muffled by the hand that covers your mouth.

“Do you know him?” You ask and Mikasa smiles.

“Yeah, that’s my childhood best friend.” She responds, “He asked for your number.”

“Did you give it to him?” You inquire a little too quickly and immediately begin to backpedal, “Wait, no, that’s not… don’t look at me like that, it’s not what you think, Mikasa please, I promise, you have to believe me!”

“Y/N, another regular is asking for you!” Your manager says as he steps outside so you rush back, completely ignoring your two friends who look at you with an amused expression on their faces.

The truth is you can’t stop thinking about those piercing green eyes and the way his lips were so soft to the touch. Your mind drifts to places you had never known and the idea of being with him isn’t so bad after all.

Before the end of your shift, your phone dings and the message that pops up brings a smile to your face and your heart begins to race, much like an overexcited child.