Dean Winchester x Reader
Not a boring life
«Are you listening to me? Dean.» Castiel puts his hand on my shoulder .
«I was thinking… you can read minds, don’t you?» Castiel looks at me.
«Yes, I can. Why?»
«The son of a bitch of that fucking angel made me see a reality in 6 years from now and… Sam had become his vassal, and Y/n was with him. They were, I mean… together. Besides, the devil told me I would lose her because he offered her something I can never give her. I know there’s a chance he’ll take Sam, but her?»
In my mind, I relive that damn moment a hundred of times: Sam, who isn’t Sammy anymore, possessed by the devil and Y/n who is at his side and he caressed her! That drives me crazy.
«So?» Castiel asks.
«Read Y/n’s mind, see if you can find something that she has lost or someone. Maybe she desires something more than anything.»
«Wouldn’t be better if you ask her?»
«Wouldn’t be better if you do what I asked you and don’t say a thing?!» he nods and disappears.
2 minutes later
«Done.»
«Oh, you’re already back.» I lean against the wall.
«So, what is her biggest secret?» I say funny but Castiel looks at me with a serious, too much seriousness, face.
«She lost her family: her dad died of a cancer when she was young and then her mother and her brother died in a car accident five years ago.» He tells me the story, and I see in his eyes the sadness.
«is there anything else? Why do you have that face?»
« I saw her feeling, Dean. It was distressing to see her memories, devastating to live them I guess. Besides it was hard to find those memories, it was like she erased them. She was alone most the time of her life. A child growing up too fast. But when she lost her mom and her brother in a car accident, she was in the car but she survived. She spent months to recovery, she wanted die with them...»
«She wanted to die? Why she didn’t tell me nothing?»
«Calm yourself, Dean, she has her reasons.»
«Yeah, and she can talk to me! I could help her.»
«Don’t you understand, Dean? She can’t even think about it… losing before her father, then all the rest of her family. Y/n just wants…»
«What?» Castiel and I turn around and see Y/n at the door. She just looked at Castiel, though.
«Cass, say that is not what I’m thinking…» Cass looks down at his feet.
«Why did you do that?» Her eyes begin to fill with tears.
«I’m sorry, Y/n…» Cass says.
«Why did you do that? Why are you talking to him about it?» Her breath becomes irregular. I approach her, but she immediately backs up.
«I wanna an answer Cass! Why did you do that?» Y/n yells at him. Cass’s embarrassment is evident.
«I asked him to do that.» as I said that she slowly turns to me.
«Why…?» I try again to get close to her, but she still backs up.
«That was my life! I had to be the one to tell you that not an angel who can reads minds! Why did you do that?» Y/n yells at me preventing me from approaching her.
«Baby, I asked Cass to do that because I need to know why you in 6 years, you would’ve said yes to the devil… the fucking angel made me see a reality, in 6 years from now, where you and Sam were with Lucifer and I realised I have to make things work differently…»
«Why didn’t you ask me, first?» i try to approach her again but she won’t let me touch her.
«Honey, why didn’t you tell me that? I could help you. I love you, I’m sorry for what you had to live through.»
But these words don’t calm her down, they make her more nervous.
«Yes? What would you have done? Take them back? That is impossible, and all I want is to forget! Forget about everything that has happened to me before this life with you! Sorry for not telling you anything that happens on this or whatever happen before that we met but I can’t…» she makes a pause, then say
«But you didn’t have the right to steal my secrets.» When she finishes talking, she turns and leaves the room.
«Oh, maybe you, Cass, could read my mind so you’ll explain to your friend how I feel right now. Steal this from me too.» She says defiantly to Castiel.
Now I feel guilty for both her and Cass too.
«Y/n, please listen to me…»
«LEAVE ME ALONE!I always respect the fact that you didn’t wanna talk about what fucking happened in the hell and I was okay with that! I never said nothing even when you didn’t wanna explain why you were sad or angry or whatever. Why can’t you do the same with me? Or maybe you could ask me instead…»
«Come on, love, lemme explain…»
«Yeah, no. The only thing that I wanna do is run away from here. Before you destroy everything, with you I never think about that! But you have to know, right? All that matters was that you know.
Don’t follow me, I hate you right now and I don’t wanna even see you.»
These words strike me deeply... but it is true, I never told her what had happened in hell or the shit life I had before meeting her. Yet, she was always by my side when all I needed was a hug.
The sound of the door closing makes me lose my mind.
«Sorry Cass… »I say quickly and I go to the room. Y/n's voice is the only thing I can hear when I look in the mirror and see myself.
I punch the mirror, hurting my hand, then
I throw the TV and lampshades on the ground. Then I take the chair and split it on the dresser...
After completely destroying the room, I sit on the floor leaning against the wall, covering my face with my hands.
I’m tired of always trying to do the right thing to protect the people I love but, no matter what I do, everything has to fuck up!
Every fucking time!
Y/n’s pov
After running until my feet begged me to stop, I sat by a lake.
Dean didn’t have to do this to me, he didn’t have to steal my thoughts. And yet it’s his style. Getting what he wants by any means...
After the last double funeral, I walked out of that house and vowed never to return. All my life, forgetting was the antidote to everything that hurt me.
But even if I try, I can’t forget, and every time these thoughts come back, I get lost.
One year after my mother and brother died, Dean came along, like a bolt from the blue. And damn me falling in love with him... of him, of the life that appeared in front me, of Sam, of hunting.
Not a boring life.
Maybe I exaggerated... the words I said to him definitely hurt him. I pick up the phone and find a message from Dean.
“I’m sorry, I know I fucked up, I know, but please before everything talk to me. Love you.”
I don’t answer the message, but I get up and go back.
I open the front door and go to the kitchen where the light is on.
«It’s very late.» Dean says.
«I’m sorry, I…» as soon as I start talking he turns to me. I see his bloody hands.
«What happen?» This time, I’m getting close to him.
«I’m sorry. I lost my mind. Look Yn, I’m really sorry. But all I wanted to do was keep you safe from Lucifer and I need to know why you would’ve chosen him.»
«I never would choose him.»
«He would promise you to take them back.»Seeing his shiny eyes saddens me and, even all he does, the only thing I wanna do is kiss him.
«This is impossible. And even if this is possible in a certain demoniac way, I don’t care: they are dead and I know that pretty well.»
I love you, Y/n. » Dean smiles and continues
«I know that I love you, sweetheart. I loved you since the first time I saw you. Every time I'm with him, I find myself forgetting all the pain I've endured when we look into each other's eyes.
«Can I touch you? » Dean asks me.
«You have to.» I find myself in his arms in a flash.
«I love you, Dean.» I hear his laugh in my ears. He takes me in his arms and rests me on the kitchen counter, I gird his life with my legs.
«You don’t know how much I love you, Y/n.» He says as he kisses my neck and my hands caress his hair.
«I’m yours…» Dean says.
«And I’m yours, Dean.»
«Say it again, I think I could come.»
«Just like this? I didn’t even touch you there…» He lifts his head from the hollow of my neck and takes my face in his hands.
«You don’t need to touch me to turn me on.» I smile and kiss him on his beautiful lips.
This is all I need to make me feel alive...
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