#so I DID because the fomo was just too strong to avoid it

[blockgamepirate]

If I'm entirely honest, even if I get that all fandoms love angst, I find it kinda tiring, especially when it comes to MCRP, because I got into MCRP partly to get away from the angsty shit. And that's still what I tend to want from it, and it feels like the perfect medium for more lighthearted and tongue-in-cheek stuff, because it's so inherently goofy lbr, but I guess people just love angst so much that they just gotta make everything about the angst

Not that I can't appreciate the angst too, sometimes, but there's been so much of it on QSMP lately. This is what frustrated me about DSMP too, when it just kept getting angstier and angstier and bleaker and bleaker...

I mean it's not that I think ALL MCRP has to be lighthearted, I would never wanna arbitrarily limit any medium like that, it's mostly just me being frustrated with the general tendency where I get into some series because it's funny and lighthearted but also has a cool story going on, and then inevitably it ALWAYS seems to get super angsty and often lose the things that made it appealing to me in the first place. I used to get this a lot with webcomics and now I'm getting it with MCRP

Jungryeok's introduction yesterday was a breath of fresh air tbh, didn't need to worry about any of the angst for several hours, just people chilling and having fun (even tho I was kind of overwhelmed too lol)

I'd like to enjoy Phil's streams the same way, and he does generally do his best to keep things lighthearted (even when it's his own angst he tends to not take it very seriously), but the angsty storylines keep intruding on his chill vibes too, you can't chill when you know what's actually going on in other POVs

(also the FOMO is too strong, I ended up watching Bagi and Tubbo instead of Phil yesterday because I wanted to know what happened and then I also kept checking in on Bad's POV when I realised he was live etc. I know that's my own fault, I should just not watch them when they're being angsty if I don't want angst but I still care about the characters and the story orz)

(And I want to check the tags on Tumblr and I want to see what other people are posting about QSMP, but the angst is even more impossible to avoid in fandom spaces, also it makes you very conscious about how people feel about Phil and his character so then you're even more stressed out when you watch his streams because any time he says something because he doesn't know any better or because he's assuming that the server is primarily meant for fun and not to be taken overly seriously, you know people are gonna rant about it, and then you have to once again quarantine yourself from the fandom to avoid being annoyed, which is boring)

It's the same problems I had with DSMP...

This is why I should become a Hermitcraft main again tbh

But at the same time I can't get the multilingual experience on Hermitcraft, I remember the other day seeing Iskall and Keralis talk and I found myself wondering for a second why they weren't speaking Swedish to each other (dw I did realise it very quickly lol) because I'd gotten so used to seeing people switching languages based on who they were talking to

The language stuff is 100% what I would miss the most if I dropped QSMP

I mean I would miss the roleplay too, I do enjoy the roleplay. And the eggs. And the characters in general. But yknow, there's other roleplay series out there, the multilingual aspect is harder to find

[crystalelemental]

"books-are-my-life-stuff: Maybe SS Leon, SS Cyrus, and Classic Elesa are meant to give people the illusion of "oh yeah Pokefairs might get a rerun or they might not" to make people more willing to pull for them, I dunno. I don't want for banners to get overwhelmingly dense every month than they already are, but I also want a rerun of the old pairs...it's confusing."

I think it's one of those challenging decisions, in the sense of yes, you want to enforce the idea of scarcity and FOMO, pull now to avoid potential calamity, so some have to go a while. But Masters takes absurdly long times to rerun some things, so much so that it has to be preventing profits when pairs that good get sidelined. Maybe it's because people only need one pair for them to function? SS Cyrus and C!Elesa, I mean. They're really fine at 1/5, so maybe that factors in? I couldn't say. But I think frequent reruns of older, well liked PokeFairs is a good way to address both the need for reruns and the increasing number of limited pairs. People don't really like Variety, but they would love some extra reruns. But then your whales don't spend much. So is that worthwhile from the company perspective? Without knowing more about the insider information, it's really hard to say what the correct call is on that front, but I do think reruns can be easily managed and not be a problem. But if the Mix Scout is anything to go by, given the presence of Variety Giovanni, Rei, H!Phoebe, and...the fourth one I forgot, they're more likely to rerun the really good stuff under that paid scout. Which is Not Great!

"books-are-my-life-stuff: I'm surprised they didn't mention 4/5 and 5/5 grids which I think also had a fair amount of controversy. A comment said those grids are optional and often not needed, but some units, like OG Gloria and OG Diantha, have pretty crucial grids that help them to catch up with modern units or patch up their glaring flaws. I still don't like it. EX roles did improve SS Serena and Paulo, but the introduction of it in master fair paid gems ruins it for me too I think."

I was always more positive on 5/5 than most, but then I had the means to make it work. I can see people getting upset with something like Gloria for sure. Her 3/5 sucks, and she doesn't get much until at least 4/5. But that's a higher investment than should be needed. In part, it's a matter of expectation. Had 5/5 grids always been there, I don't think anyone would bat an eye, just be mildly annoyed at all the good tools being at max investment, like how we get slightly annoyed when a pair only has good traits at 3/5. But I do think that this is easily circumvented. Take Cynthia and Lance, for example. As the only pairs with both 3/5 and 5/5 expansions, you get the sense that 3/5 is where all the traits to make them super strong went, and 5/5 is utility to make them easier to use. Even Diantha, good as she is, follows that pattern. You can actually deal better damage with all three with just 3/5 and pushing more power into sync, so they're far from unusable. Gloria's the odd one out, in that...had her tools been 3/5, I don't think anyone would've cared. But because it's only 5/5, it's damning. If she had a 3/5, and it also had good powerup tools? I think she'd be less of a problem. And the 5/5 tools felt like a nice incentive for whales; I've liked having them available, anyway. It was the least intrusive monetization angle they pulled, with the most benefit for players who bothered favoring a character that hard.

The EX Roles are also a bit an issue of presentation. I think his point of, if they hadn't done paid only Master Fairs for cake? People probably would've been fine. It's a neat mechanic! Maybe a little grumbling from people like me who wanted it to be customized and more available to older pairs, but far from the level of irritation. I actually love the PokeFair angle; that also feels fair and great. PokeFairs now come with rewards for pulling, and they have the added draw of "Why don't you go to 5/5 for the full cake?" incentive. They've had some really good ideas that are mutually beneficial. They're just wrapped around...really questionable ones, often interspersed with the good, and it muddies the waters.

[diefaultiere]

Museum Visit

It is quite hard for me to reflect the design I have seen during the museum visit, because a lot of it was art and was not intended to be functional at all. For example the chair that molds for the last 20 years or so. Most of it was too abstract for me, I have to admit. Whenever I engage in art I wonder if I am too stupid or too ignorant to understand art. Anyways…

When it comes to the art pieces about fashion, I learned that design can be political a lot of times! T-Shirts for example were used effectively to transport political messages in the 1970s. The reason for that is that the messages can be seen easily as they are written across the wearers chest, which is a neat design decision I presume.

I also learned about leather alternatives, or their historic and cultural origin to be exact. I try my best to avoid animal based leather for the last 2 years (as an effort to reduce factory farming and such) and then stumbled across plant based leather, which I found very interesting and thought that producing leather out of plants was only possible because of the latest high tech advancements. During the museum visit however, I found out that indigenous people have been doing this for a very long time and that it is actually nothing new. And of course, they get zero credit for the idea!

Another art piece that really stood out to me was a computer screen that seemed to be blank on first sight, however if you put a tinted lens in front of it, the hidden content is revealed to you. Too me this art piece wanted to say that you need different perspectives to see the very things in front of you. I liked it because it was both gimmicy and had a strong message.

A very dark aspect about design that I learned is the intention behind doll houses. A lot of our students, myself included, did not know that the intention behind them was to prepare the little girls to be housewives. I find this very disturbing as the children playing it most likely have no clue what they are being taught subconsciously.

Another thing as a former sneaker head that I was confronted with again is how some people put design on a pedestal and that companies put very much thought into the sale of their products by creating artificial shortages. The example I am talking about are the Nike MAG sneakers (known from the movie „Back To the Future“), because they were also part of the art gallery. The USP of the shoe are its unique and futuristic silhouette, the LEDs and the automatic closing mechanism. Knowing that this pair is very sought after Nike could just decide to mass produce the shoe again, however they decide against it! This creates artificial shortages which makes the pair even more sought after! They do this with every sneaker model! This leads to a lot of FOMO and to enormous retail prices! In the case of the Nike MAG sneakers the pair that was last sold was purchased for 72.193 € (https://stockx.com/nike-air-mag-back-to-the-future-bttf-2016). And some people are willing to pay all of that for design.

To summarize everything, I would say that design can be functional, non-functional, liberating and also very restricting.

[kotsuvi]

hq at the outdoor pool [hc]

a/n: i did this instead of posting “a month of sundays” and honestly i’m not even mad about it.

karasuno:

- asahi: definitely wears a speedo. that’s all.

- daichi: wears bright orange boardshorts. slathers on sunscreen before, during, and after being in the pool. literally will make suga throw him the bottle while he’s in the water. like this man does not want to burn. occasionally yells at hinata, kageyama and bokuto for being too loud but then goes and does a  cannonball into a group of kids. 

- suga: totally the type to hang around the shallow end and splash around with the kids. he’d just wade around and get a kick out of them and all of the mom’s would fall for him within the first twenty minutes. probably brings neatly sliced carrots for a snack. wears a hat to avoid burning his scalp. 

- nishinoya: the kid that pretends to drown in hopes of getting the hot lifeguard to give him CPR. the first time it actually worked, but it totally backfired the second time. some rando old man “saved” him instead but noya got right out of there before things escalated. he didn’t go back to the pool for the rest of the summer after that. threw up in the pool once too. they had to drain it and it was closed for a week. 

- tanaka: always screaming. slips on the pool deck and gets yelled at for running. this man will literally dive into the water from anywhere. once he nearly decapitated a kid because he dove in the deep end without looking. he’s about one more annoying shriek away being banned from the place. 

- tsukishima: mans DEFO brings goggles to every pool. definitely. absolutely. hinata thought they were a joke and laughed at him for a solid twenty seconds before tsukki threatened to drown him. he does laps around the perimeter of the pool. purposely splashes water in little kids faces. yells at tadashi for swimming too close.

- tadashi: follow tsukki around the whole time. honestly not a very strong swimmer. literally almost drowned once but he doesn’t like to bring it up. he’s got checkered swim shorts. wears one of those white swim shirts that kinda looks like a wetsuit. kid always has goosebumps too, even if the sun is blazing. like teeth chattering. he does NOT like the water but has serious FOMO so he goes in anyways. 

- hinata: dear god. him and kageyama hold competitions for who can make the biggest splash. they jump in front the diving board, the slide, the side of the deck; anything to try and create some waves. really tried to get asahi to throw him into the air. he thought it would be super sick and create this mega splash but he just ended up looking like a toddler being tossed by a middle-aged man. it was extremely embarrassing. boy probably wears neon boardshorts and has matching flip-flops. 

- kageyama: he almost always wins biggest splash. he also threatens to throw small children off the diving board if they don’t jump fast enough. mans has zero patience with other people, but when it’s his turn he chickens out and then makes some excuse as to why he couldn’t do it. “oh, i got a headache”, “there were too many people in the line, it would’ve taken forever”. he also steals things from the lost and found outside the change rooms; mostly water bottles. 

aobajoshai:

- oikawa: comes extremely prepared. like very. towels and sunscreen and snacks and lots of drinks. only for himself tho; sharing is not caring. he just dips his toes in the water, maybe stands on the steps that lead into the pool, then he gets out and tans for the rest of the time. has boardshorts with flamingos on them. will occasionally splash water on his chest because he thinks it’s ~hot~. it kinda is.

- iwaizumi: he says he doesn’t even like the pool, but this man goes HARD in diving competitions. yanno those little toys that you throw in the deep end and they sink and then you have to go and get them? well yeah, he’s addicted to those. he’s so competitive about it too. made a kid cry once. when he’s not in the water he’s helping tendou fill up bottles to dump on kuroo and oikawa. he says there’s nothing to do at the pool, but he literally is busy the whole time. barks at you to shut up if you comment on the fact. 

- kindaichi: brings a giant green floaty and just drifts around the pool. literally had a nap on it once and burnt his body so bad that he couldn’t sit down for a week without excruciating pain. 

- kyoutani: tries to hold his breath for way longer than humanly possible. passed out once. starts a fight in the change rooms over who gets to use the last shower. threw shampoo in oikawa’s eyes once and temporarily blinded him. pretty sure all the staff is scared of him, and honestly they should be. this man will literally kill you. 

nekoma:

- kuroo: isn’t just acting like the lifeguard, he literally is the lifeguard. kidding, but he wishes he was. literally tests the chlorine levels of the water every time he goes there. him and kenma mostly just hang around the edge and talk. he tells off bokuto and tanaka for nearly beheading kids, but thinks it’s funny. he won’t want to get his hair wet, but tendou will absolutely take every opportunity that he can to dunk that man. 

- kenma: get a feeling that this boy does not like the pool. it’s too loud for him, and the screaming kids (+ tanaka) get on his nerves. he just sits with kuroo and prays that noya will throw up in the water again and then it’ll be drained. he only went because hinata pleaded him to, but the boy ditched him for kags halfway through. 

- yaku: literally spends the whole time bullying lev. told tall boy™ that if he went under the water for too long it would absorb through his ears and his lungs would fill up and he would drown. to everyone else he’s very caring. literally saved a kid from drowning once. stopped a fight between a jackass and a girl that was insecure about her braces. literally soft but not when it comes to lev

- lev: TERRIFIED. thanks to yaku he’s literally scared to go in the water for more than five minutes. mans sits on the edge and dangles his feet over the side. hates when his fingers and toes go all pruny. he likes to go on the pool slide though. constantly slips in the change rooms when showering and confuses the shampoo with soap. 

fukurodani:

-bokuto: this man goes WILD. literally lives at the pool when it’s hot. the king of doing tricks off the diving board. seriously. never ever leaves that board. he’ll push kids over to get to the top first. literally never ever stops shouting. he’s gotten so good at tricks that people will literally pay him to try new things. the lifeguards like to bet on whether or not he’ll make it. ALWAYS has a different pair of boardshorts??? this man has so many clothes for some reason. he also brings a different towel every time. oikawa is jealous but he won’t admit it.

- akaashi: DOES NOT SWIM. can do it but chooses not to. mans would rather just sit in the shade and read a good book. bokuto forces him to film shit and post it all over his socials. the kind of guy that looks mysterious and causes girls to giggle and admire from afar because they think he’s a heartbreaker. 

shiratorizawa:

- ushijima: wears shorts that are way too fucking tight for him. snatches the hot lifeguard away from noya without even knowing it. this man will literally just sit at the bottom of the pool for as long as he can. like takes a huge breath and then sinks to the bottom. he’ll just sit there. like you’ll be swimming and look down and oh! there he is, just sitting criss-cross at the bottom of the fucking swimming pool. tanaka dared hinata to lay beside him, but hinata almost drowned before he even got seated cuz the poor boy couldn’t figure out how to stop floating up to the surface. 

- tendou: he swims with his eyes open like DRILLING into you underwater. tsukki was doing his laps once and tendou was just there like watching. he’s the kinda guy to pull the filters out of the side of the pool and examine what’s inside (literally just bugs and leaves and some plastic cap). drinks the pool water. runs on the deck as well. like sprints. spends most of his time bothering everyone else and freaking out other swimmers. doesn’t shower before getting in the water and doesn’t shower afterwards. probably doesn’t shower period.

- goshiki: always doing tricks. handstands?? you got it. a cartwheel into the water? yep. tried to backflip off of bokuto’s shoulders and got screamed at by the staff? yes yes yes. did a flip off the diving board and bellyflopped so bad that his entire body was red for two weeks? mhm. he always needs an audience though, even if it’s just a few 10 year old kids. his trunks fell down once when he was getting out of the water.

other:

- aone: kids are scared of him. he always looks like he wants to drown somebody, and there was a rumour that he actually did. of course he didn’t. mans doesn’t even really know how to swim. he just paddles around in the shallow end. wishes he was wearing water wings.

- terushima: goes to the pool for the snacks and drinks??? “don’t know, the food just hits different here,” is always his answer. he brings his own speaker and literally starts a disco between the lawn chairs. the staff don’t like him at all, but he buys so much fucking food that literally all their income is from that man. he rarely actually goes in the water. stole someone’s flip-flops once and ended up getting warts.

- atsumu: pulls some random girl up on his shoulders for a chicken fight. went through two phones in three weeks because he takes it in the water with him??? literally like on his phone while swimming. idk, mans just gotta stay updated on the twitter tea. 100% pees in the pool and blames it on kageyama.

- sakusa: does not go to the public pool. ever.

[abdicatedarchive]

what was lost, and now is finding nemo || chase and gabrielle

𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍: gabrielle’s house // late february.

𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: chase x gabrielle.

𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐒: mental health references.

𝐃𝐄𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐒: chase comes over to spend time with his daughter, and his ex girlfriend.

Chase unlocked the front door and headed into the house, "Gabrielle, I'm here" he called out as he put his keys down on the front hall table. He headed into the kitchen and smelled what was cooking, "Smells good, where's the princess? Uncle Chase is here" he said with a smile. It hurt his heart to come here the first few times, but this was just routine at this point. Yes, it still ached, but it was getting better. It was different ... knowing that it was his fault.  These visits always made her so anxious. To be honest, most of the time she was doing her best to avoid Chase but when visit times came around, she just felt very vulnerable and she did not like that. Especially when there was no one else at the house. BUt it had been pretty empty in the Hale Mansion lately. "I'm in here." Gabrielle replied to him as she opened up the oven and pulled out the chicken parm she had made. "Right there." She replied and pointing in the direction of Genevieve who was playing her her toy kitchen set up.  "Hello Genevieve, it's your favorite uncle" said Chase with an exited expression as he approached his daughter, "You've been nice to your sister?" he asked. The girl nodded and ran over to him so he could scoop her up. Chase picked her up and spun around a few times before holding her in his arms. "Chicken parm? One of my favorites" said the boy to his ex. Things were definitely weird, but he did his best to ignore them.  Gabrielle placed the pan down on top of the stove to settle as she moved to the cabinet to pull some plates and set the table. She thought that she would be use to it, hearing words like uncle and sister, but it still deeply bothered her. She hated living a lie and lying to her child but it was the agreement. Gabrielle nodded. "Yeah. I know." She replied to him as she moved to the fridge to pull out the parm cheese and some drinks and placed them out before grabbing the last of the things needed to set the table. "It's ready." He would never get over sitting at the dining room table and having her cook for them. It was so weird. He was used to cooking with her, or ordering pizza and sitting around the carriage house. Forgetting about food and just focusing on being together. "Sounds good" he said with a small smile as he put Genevieve down on her booster seat. Chase grabbed himself a drink and headed to the table, "How are your classes? How are you doing?" he asked, to make conversation. He didn't really know what they should talk about. Since going to college and her dad leaving for longer gaps and the older kids being out of the house, she had to do more, juggle more. It wasn't that they couldn't afford someone to cook the meals and watch Genevieve 24/7, Gabrielle preferred to do it herself. Genevieve did day care until Gabrielle picked her up. She hated getting raised by nannies growing up, though they did have one that was part time to help out while Gabrielle focused on school work. Gabrielle put the food on the table, the chicken parm, the veggies and all that and started serving it on plates and passing them to Chase. She kept Genevieves plate infront of her as she began to cut up the chicken for the toddler. "Classes are good. It's still early into the semester, so can't really tell if I like them or not." She replied simply. "I am doing fine. Nothing to complain about."  He took his plate and put it down in front of him. He was glad that she was eating, it was good. Things were good. She was doing better without him, and it was more important for her to be doing well than for them to be together. Chase took a sip of his drink while he waited for Gabrielle to sit down at the table so he could start to eat. "Nothing to complain about is good" said Chase, replying in the same way. Sometimes it was like pulling teeth to talk to her, "Thank you for cooking, it looks delicious."  Gabrielle finished preparing the toddlers plate before putting it in front of her. Gabrielle then took some food for herself before sitting. Gabrielle had a lot of ups and downs but the recent weeks have been more up, thanks to the copious hours of therapy she was forced back into. She kinda ;liked it though. She enjoyed being able to let it all out. Though she was in a good point she wasn't perfect yet, but she was proud of the accompaniments she had achieved so far. "How are your classes?" She asked before she started eating. "No problem. I do it all the time. It's no big deal." She said with a small smile. She hated how much she was struggling to hold up this conversation, but just seeing hom brought up those bad memories of graduation, him dumping her and the painful summer that followed  Chase cut a piece of food and ate it, she really was a good cook. He also missed food that wasn't cafeteria food from time to time. "Classes are good, living with Jonah is good" said the boy, "Jules has been in the room for JuJo time. Did you know that they sit in actual silence for hours? Imagine being quiet for hours? I can't. Sometimes I have to leave the room because I'm worried I'm going to cough or something." At least they still had Juliette in common, not that he talked to her about much. "It's not like they have music on, or a movie. They just have their things and they sit there quietly. I think they might be doing it to drive me crazy, and that they talk up a storm right after I leave. But that's just a fan theory" he continued. Moments like this Gabrielle was glad Chase talked a lot. It filled the gaps at times where she didn't know what to say. "Thats good." She replied as he said he liked living with Jonah. She had a bit of fomo being the only commuter out of all her friends, like she was missing out but at the same time she choose it so she could be with Gene at home. "Yeah thats weird. Whenever She's here she talks." Gabrielle replied simply. She felt a bit guilty, not telling Juliette that after she left her and Stevie became good friends, close friends. Bonding over her absence. "Some people just enjoy the silence, its comfortable." She added in. "Possibly, but I don't think so." But if there were, she would find that pretty funny. "Have you told her that you and Stevie are close?" Chase asked, he was curious. It was one of the benefits of Juliette and Jonah sitting in silence, there was less of a way for him to mess things up for Gabrielle. "I do know she has not talked to her yet" he added. Chase knew how to sit in silence, but he reserved that for when he had alone time. He liked the comfortable quietness when he was by himself, but when he was with other people, the impulse to talk was too strong. "I assume the three of you aren't going to be hanging out anytime soon." Gabrielle shook her head. "I have not, and I rather not." She had this little idea in her head, an idea that of she worked both sides she could get them back together and they would be happy and Gabrielle could feed off that happiness and feel good about something. "Yeah. I know that too." She added in. "She's avoiding her." She added in. She wasn't sure if Chase heard about Juliettes gathering yet, but she knew she didn't want Stevie to know. "I can only do one girl at a time. They got to many issues." "Are you Mrs. Doubtfiring her?" said Chase with a little laugh, "Before you know it you're going to take them both to the same restaurant and keep going to the bathroom so you can switch tables and talk to the other one." The idea was so hilarious to him, an actual smile appeared on his face. "I gathered she's avoiding her. I haven't heard Stevie say anything about her being here. You know how they are. They don't really shut up about each other, and Stevie's still talking to that sophomore right?" he added as he took another bite of food. "You doing girls is a special occasion, round two with Jules?" he teased. It felt like old times, her complaining and him joking. It was a familiar rhythm. "No. And its not really anyone's business who I am friends with or spend my time with." Gabrielle replied back a tad bit defensively. "That would never happen, plus Stevie knows I'm friends with her." She added in as well. "I'm not sure if she knows she's back, but I won't be the one to tell her." Gabrielle said, respecting Juliettes wishes. "I don't know. Probably." She said in response to who Stevie was seeing. In Gabrielle's mind, the other girl was irrelevant, she was just holding Juliettes spot for the time being. Gabrielle let out an awkward laugh because she didn't really know how to respond. Gabrielle continued to eat as she looked up with Genevieve who was holding her food with her hands. "Genevieve, drop it." The girl looked up and let the food drop to the plate before picking up her small fork and using it. Chase noted the defensiveness, clearly he had hit a sore spot. "Yeah, but remember the Juliette/Chanel incident? You know how she is about loyalties and people being honest" said the boy, not backing down. "Definitely let her fly under the radar, but we both know they will be getting back together the second Stevie sees her. I would be shocked if they didn't." Chase was honestly shocked him and Gabrielle had been broken up this long, "The boarding school thing was a blip, it will be like no time has passed" he said, mostly talking about him and Gabrielle. If they got back together, it would be like nothing ever happened. At least, that's what he hoped. That's what happened every other time for them. The difference this time was that he had been with other people in the meantime, which he didn't want to advertise ... but it was a difference. Chase took another bite of his dinner, "She's growing up so fast" he commented. Gabrielle nodded and didn't comment for a moment until Chase was done speaking. "Exactly, they will be back together really soon, and I don't want my friendship with Stevie while she was away to drive a wedge in them getting back together." Gabrielle pointed out. The Chanel incident was different, at least in Gabrielle's mind. "Exactly." She agreed, though she thought he was still meaning Stevie and Juliette. Of course she missed being with Chase but a lot has changed, they weren't the same people they use to be. Chase liked going out and having fun with the boys, partying and such while Gabrielle slowly started to adjust her life to being a full time parent and there was nothing wrong with that. "She's being a brat today. Give it 30 seconds and she will pick it up with her hands again, she's in her testing her limits phase." "It'll play out the way it should, I don't talk to either of them about it. I don't want to rock the boat" said Chase, it was just different because Gabrielle was really close to both of them. Best friends level. It was harder. He chuckled when she called their daughter a brat, "To be fair, I have been in the testing my limits phase for the last three years" he teased her. Chase finished up his dinner, sneaking glances at her when he could. These broken up dinners definitely tested his ability to hold out on her, and he was growing weak. "Yeah I feel you on that" She said with a nod. It was hard for her to play double between them. She nodded. "You got that one right." She said with a laugh. He had been testing limits but so has she. She also finished up before looking at Gene, "You donee baby?" She asked as she got up and took both their plates before moving and taking chases. Chase put his hand on her's as she reached to grab his plate, "I got it" he said as he got up and went over to the sink. He started rinsing off the plates and putting them in the dishwasher, "So, what are your plans for the night? Do I get you assistance? Or are you going to disappear again?" He preferred when she stuck around, but he knew that this was hard on her. It was hard on him too. 

Gabrielle nodded and pulled her hand away, she couldn’t think of the last time her physically touched her. Gabrielle scratched the back of her head. “I don’t want to intrude on your time with her, plus it’s like the only time I get to myself. What do you want? I can stay if you want me too.”  He didn't want to keep her from her only alone time, "No, it's okay. Go ahead and have your free time. That's more important than hanging out with me" he said earnestly. He truly did mean it, he wanted what was best for her. "Go and enjoy yourself, the two of us will be down here." Chase gave her a reassuring smile and put the last of the dishes into the dishwasher before going and scooping Genevieve up. Gabrielle felt a sudden wave of guilt as he spoke. "No its okay. I didn't have anything planned really besides a nap." She said with a shrug. Gabrielle put the left overs in a tupperware and into a fridge. She had a soft genuine smile as she did, this is what she saw their future as before he dumped her, eating a family dinner cleaning it up together, it was cute.  "I mean my grand plans were putting on finding nemo and letting her play with her toys. So you could go nap and then come back when it's bed time?" he suggested. He didn't want her to feel like she needed to stay, he wanted her to, but it was probably for the best if she didn't. "I got this, go get a nap in" he said putting his hand on her shoulder to show that he meant it. Gabrielle smiled softly, "Good thing I can love finding nemo." She said as she walked over and opened the door to the basement."I know you got it. I can always nap to finding nemo." She said beforee she went down the stairs to the play room.  "Sounds like a plan" he said with a smile as he carried his daughter down into the play room. Chase put her down by her toys and she immediately occupied herself with her things. Chase put on the movie and sat down next to Gabrielle out of instinct. "Do you think they'll find nemo this time?" he asked with a serious face.  Gabrielle watched as he put Gene down and she moved and took a seat on the couch, picking up the remote and turning on the the tv and pulling up disney plus. "Hmm. You can never tell, but I'm hopeful they will find him." She sid before turning on the movie.  "Yeah it's always a toss up, you never know if he's going to touch the butt or not" Chase joked as his daughter came up to them and climbed onto the couch to sit next to him. "Come to join Uncle Chase?" he asked, and she nodded her head. Chase smiled at his child, sometimes he forgot that she was even his. They were so deeply entrenched in the lie at this point.   “I mean if it were me I’d always touch the butt.” She said with a laugh. “Though sometimes I’m in the edge of my seat seeing if he will swim away fast enough.” She added in. She watched as Gene climbed up to join them. “She loves the fishies” Gabrielle added in.  Gabrielle pulled her legs up and rested her chin in her knees.  Chase laughed along with her, "Don't I know it" he teased. He knew it was a risky joke, but what was life not on the edge sometimes. "I mean it's always a toss up what is going to happen, but somehow the exact same thing happens every time" Chase replied, watching her body language change. She was clearly guarded, and he knew that was his fault.

Gabrielle let out a tad awkward laugh to his response. “I think they call that movie magic” she said raising a brow. It’s like soul surfer, you know that shirt is coming for her but every time it’s like shock all over again.” She said with a nodd. She let her arms wrap around her legs, she just found comfort this way, holding herself close. She knew by doing this there was no way she would accidentally touch him.

And she retreated into herself more, classic. It was weird just being her friend, and they weren't really even friends. They were exes who managed to spend a decent amount of time together. "Your tik toks have been good" said Chase, knowing that she had been basically @ing him in all of them. He wanted to show he wasn't bothered.

Sometimes she didn't know how to interact with him. It was probably because she didn't really know how she felt towards him. "You watch those?" She said as she turned towards the movie, her cheeks turning red. "Just trying to get my work out there."

Of course he had seen her content online, he was shameless in his continuation of following her. "It's better than ever" said Chase sweetly, putting his hand on her knee and giving it a friendly pat. "You really have come into your own with the designing" he added.

“Thanks I’ve been working hard” she said, her hands instantly falling down to his hand on her knee. “ I mean.. I’ve always been good so it’s no big deal but now I’m just better but like... it’s no big deal.” She said getting a bit flustered, a good flustered too. I’m just trying to get my work out there for the people, not just gene. Her wardrobe is all GHale.”

Her hand on his felt good, but there was something distant about it all. Like they weren't coming back to where they were at for a long time. "Well if you want to get into male fashion, I can come by and bring the boys if you wanted" said Chase, offering to spend more time with her. He hated how empty this house felt.

Gabrielle pulled her hand away, mainly bc her writer thought she wrote eyes and didn’t proofread. “Maybe. But I also have Gino as a test subject, and the other guys in my fashion classes.” Maybe she partly wanted to strike a bit of jealousy in him. “But either way, I think I’ll stick to woman’s fashion, I’m much better at it. Plus I already have three lines in the making.”

Chase laughed, he knew that she wanted him to be jealous, but the thing about Chase is that she basically had to show it to him to make him jealous. He thought back on the time he punched a guy at a party for her, what a wild night. "I see how it is, but none of them have this great of hair" he joked.

Gabrielle shrugged. “I’ll spare your feelings and agree.” She said as she tossed her hair over her shoulder. She snuck a little peak over at him. “I’ll add a hair brush to your Christmas list.” She said playfully

He played offended for a moment, "Okay blondie, you're getting hair dye from me then" he joked. Chase stuck his tongue out at the other girl, and Genevieve joined in. Moments like this, they felt like an actual family.

Gabrielle rolled her eyes. “When will people accept that I’m staying natural.” She said shaking her head. “Man looking back, dying my hair purple... what a time. Such an impulse. It was actually terrible.”

"It was not that bad, you just needed the change of pace" said the boy, he knew a lot had been going on at that time. It was right before her mom got cut out of all of their lives. He was endlessly thankful for that, thank God.

“It was pretty bad. Totally cringe there.” She said before looking over at Genevieve. “Is someone getting tired over there?” The blonde questioned. With her knees still brought in, she ran her hands down her legs scratching her shins gently. She didn’t know what else to say, she was a poor conversationalist. “Maybe it’s bed time soon?” She added in. When in doubt talk about the one thing they had left in common: their kid.

"In ten years maybe you'll think it was cute again" said Chase, always the optimist. He couldn't help it, he was like a golden retriever. Always seeing the good in things, even if it meant having to wait a while. They sat and watched the movie for a bit before Gabrielle suggested it was bed time for Genevieve, "Yeah, let's get this girl upstairs" said Chase as he looked over to their daughter and picked her up. She loved story time with Uncle Chase, because he does the voices. There is no greater skill in this life than doing the voices during story time. "You ready for story time with Uncle Chase?" he asked excitedly and she clapped her hands. Chase headed upstairs with the girl and took her to the bathroom to brush her teeth.

“Maybe.” She replied with a shrug. She put her attention towards the movie, she herself was getting a bit tired. “Yeah we should.” She said getting up, she watched chase scoop up the girl and bring her up the stairs and she followed. While chase brought her to brush her teeth, Gabrielle went into her room and pick out some pjs and get her bed ready for bed. She pulled back the blanket. Gabrielle put the princess pjs on the bed as she went into the bathroom, “make sure she goes potty before.” 

After Genevive went to the bathroom, Chase brought the child back to her room and helped her get on her PJs. Chase pulled out a story book and started to read to her as she fell asleep. Once she was out like a light, he headed into the connected room and sat down on Gabrielle's bed. "That wasn't too tough" he said, not really sure what to say. He knew he should leave, but he wanted to stay. He liked being here. Sure the house kind of gave him the heebie jeebies, but still. There was this ... feeling of being watched all the time. But that was just his paranoia from living here and genuinely being watched all the time.

Gabrielle went into her room while Chase got her ready for bed. Gabrielle took off her makeup, pulled her hair up on got into a comfy sleep set, a cute spaghetti strap mid daft shit with matching silk shorts. Gabrielle was sitting at her vanity doing her nightly face mask and moisturizer when Chase came in and sat down. "No, she goes down pretty easily." Gabrielle replied to the boy. "She loves her sleep."

There was something nice about Gabrielle actually taking care of herself now. That she wore something other than big t-shirts and old sophie shorts, and that she was taking care of her skin every night. It gave him some piece of mind that she was prioritizing herself. "Don't we all" he said as he rested his hands on her bed, leaning back a little. "What are your plans for the week?" he asked, curious to know what she was up to.

Gabrielle let out a small laugh, almost just in a polite way. "mine?" She questioned. "Nothing really. School, homework, the usual." It was basically her way of saying she really had no plans. "What about you?" She said as she finished her routine before turning in her chair.

"Probably gaming with Jonah, maybe a party this weekend, Striking Vipers show most likely, oh and of course ... homework" said Chase just laying back on her bed at this point. His feet still firmly on the floor. "You should come out with me this weekend, see Stevie perform" he suggested. It would be nice if the two of them were to go out together, maybe they could get back on track.

“Sounds like fun” she said with a smile as she watched him lay back on her bed. Now they were going to smell like him. No. She couldn’t have that. She couldn’t deal with that tonight, a small painful reminder of the nights she now slept alone. “I don’t think I should.” She said bluntly, now she needed to come up with a quick excuse. “You know, with Juliette and Stevie not talking yet. And with all of her friends being there she will probably need someone to hang out with.” Gabrielle said softly.

He knew he was going to get a no from her, but he could at least push it a little. The big thing was, he knew exactly what this was. It wasn't going to be any different from when they dated before. Him wanting to do things and socialize, and her not having any of it. He wanted someone who wanted to not only be places with him, but would have fun and enjoy it too. "Juliette has spent plenty of time on her own, but fair enough. As long as you're keeping her company" he said with a shrug. He wasn't going to fight her on it. 

Gabrielle had changed a lot. She had her party phase where all she did was go out, but when her and chase last dated, she was too depressed and anxious to do it sometimes. But now was different. She closed herself off to a lot of people when her and chase broke up. She didn’t have to many friends to begin with regardless. She thought going out with chase would give people the wrong idea. Maybe she was trying to stop herself from getting the wrong idea. She didn’t even know what she wanted. But she knew that they were both different people now. “I just know the second she find out there is a striking vibes concert she might be upset or something. I know for sure she won’t go anywhere near there.” She didn’t know for sure but she assumed hard in this moment, “but if Juliette ends up not needing me or having other plans I will let you know.” She said with a nod as she got up from her vanity. She moved to put her clothes in the hamper and put her face stuff away.

He knew he had overstayed his welcome, and he got up from her bed. "Just keep me in the loop, I'm gonna head back to the dorm. Might grab some things from the carriage house" said Chase as he walked over to her and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before heading out the door, "Later" he said with a smile and some finger guns. Very uncool, but very on brand. He just wanted her to know that he cared.

Gabrielle had the impulse to tell him to stay, she opened her mouth to say it but quickly but her tongue and turned away for a brief moments pick up the tv remote. “Yes. Yeah. I will. I’ll text her in the morning and ask her what her plans are. I just don’t want to leave her all alone in case she’s upset about it. This school change is an adjustment for her, plus I finally have my best friend back.” She said with smile. When he came over and kissed her cheek, she gave his forearm a brush with her finger tips. She watched him move to the door. “Goodnight” she said before moving to her bed. She waited for him to be out of her room before she started pulled the sheets off her bed. //END

[casulo]

The Gordinha and The Kitchen Jungle Gym

Let’s play a word association game, when I say Brasil what or who do you think of (take 1 min to think about it)?

 Perhaps you thought of the beach, soccer, Adriana Lima, Acai, and other things which are typically associated with Brasil. I most commonly get big butts and hot girls (a good portion of Victoria’s Secret models are Brasilian so duh). While all these things might seem innocuous and maybe flattering, it has ultimately contributed to how I grew up being objectified from a very young age and I’m almost certain many other people have as well, especially folks who do not fit those parameters. My mother is whiter than a Clorox spill on a colored shirt and with that comes the self-deprecating standards of European thinness and other evil expectations which are STRONGLY reinforced by Brasilian society. While I love my mom and can appreciate the great lengths that she has gone to care for me, it is also time to recognize the ways she acted devoid of love. You see, my mom is a personal trainer (an amazing one at that) and from my childhood onward she has always forced onto me the “importance” of hyper-femininity through diet culture, exercise, and myriads of other harmful behaviors. At 10 years old, I remember walking into the dietician’s office with my mom without fully comprehending why I had to be there in the first place. The extremely thin “doctor” took my weight, spoke to my mom, then sent us on our way. The frustration didn’t start settling in until I saw my lunch and other meals had been completely changed and the message was clear, I was fat and being fat wasn’t ok. I watched as kids during lunchtime ate whatever they pleased while I was only allowed half a sandwich and a diet juice box that tasted like soap. My mouth watered at the girl sitting next to me savoring a fruit roll-up—I looked down at my lunch in embarrassment. It felt like punishment. Upset, I would go home and attempt to confront my mom, “just tell me you think I’m fat and that it’s a bad thing”, she would shyly smirk and avoid the question altogether.

 My mom and dad made the perfect fat-phobic duo—my mom being a personal trainer and my dad being a gym owner really solidified their skinny dreams for me. Everyday after school my dad would make me go to jiujitsu class and for one hour after class he made me run on a treadmill. The treadmill was placed directly in front of the classroom he taught in so everyone could watch me run and so he could monitor me. If I turned down the dial because I couldn’t run as fast as my dad set it, he would come by and raise it back up. I don’t know if the treadmill was strategically placed in front everyone on purpose, but it felt like it was. I remember one specific discussion with my dad where he attempted to silence my complaints about the diet/training by angrily saying, “do you want to be used as a point of reference? Do you want people to say, ‘the bus stop or the store is right next to that fat person?’” I silently nodded no.

 This treatment eventually led to binge eating. When I would occasionally be left in the care of relatives, I would climb their kitchen cabinets and raid the cupboards and eat everything in sight.  FOMO—I ate everything I could while I could because I knew once I was back home, I couldn’t even look at food without being reprimanded for it. I would sometimes sit on the marble counter and ask myself why I felt the need to binge and would tell myself the things I could never say out loud when my mom asked, “what’s missing? What are you unhappy about?” My lack of dignity and the hateful way I now look at myself because of you.

 Maybe after a while my mom realized it just wasn’t going to happen for me. Every year she got mad I could no longer fit into a size 0 Hollister pair of jeans and wasted her time doing so because I was never, and am never, going to be or look like her for various reasons:

1.       I don’t want to look like her.

2.       I’m non-binary. To adhere to forms of binary thinking/belief systems especially belief systems rooted in oppression works against my identity.

3.       My lower body is significantly heavier than hers and my arm can’t even fit into a size 0 pair of jeans.

 All these things considered, I would also like to hold myself accountable for the ways in which I still act in fat-phobic ways towards myself and highlight how I’m trying to change that. Growing up being objectified was anxiety inducing because it gave everyone the right to comment on how I looked except myself, this is still the case today, so its hard to not be overly critical. In order to counter this, I have been actively engaging in conversations with myself about why I want to exercise daily, why I choose to eat the way I do, and how it benefits me?

1.       Why I want do exercise daily? Initially it was because I wanted to be thin, no surprise there. But the more I internalized that there isn’t a right or wrong body type and that being skinny does not = healthy (hell fucking no it doesn’t), I stopped working out and focused on other things that brought me actual joy until I was ready to reevaluate my intentions. Once I did reevaluate, I decided to shift my focus from harmful exercise behaviors to using exercise as a means to curb my anxiety and structure my day. Running and weightlifting helps me control my breathing. well it forces me to, and distracts me from the things I obsess about that leads to anxiety. Exercising also forces me to start my day. I feel the most energetic after a workout (who doesn’t love an endorphin rush) and I use that energy to pour into other work I have for the day. Exercising should never be a form of punishment. Bodies do not deserve punishment. Our bodies need validation, love, and understanding. To grow the appreciation and love I have for my body I have joined my best friend on a pole dancing journey! Not only do I get to practice a new way of exercising, I get to feel sexy and strong in such a raw way.

2.       Why do I choose to eat the way I do? I LOVE FOOD. I spend most of my money on it and I’m not ashamed about it AT ALL but I do have to be careful. I have high cholesterol and other diseases that run in my family and getting chest pains isn’t the most pleasant feeling in the world. Eating too much processed food makes me lethargic and me being lethargic just doesn’t make a good combination with the other mental illnesses I have. I balance this by eating 4-6 times a day, I eat a lot of foods that support me during my workout/recovery process, and I must always have chocolate every night. No exceptions. Desserts make me happy and I eat them and make them often.

3.       How does this benefit me? Simple, I’m in control. If I don’t want to exercise and eat Smashburger I will. If I want to lift and then drink a protein shake, cool ill do that. If I want to do all those things in a day, I WILL and I will be satisfied because I did what made me happy and what felt comfortable for me that day.

 I’m short, I have a wide back, and thick ass legs, and I love it. Please be kind to yourself, its not always a linear process and I still go though it sometimes but remember there is no such thing as invalid bodies. Reach out if you need a friend

 *clink clink, cheers with our burgers*

 *Gordinha means fatty in Portuguese

[donttelluswhattodo]

A Disease of Motivation, On Anxiety: part 1 of 2

For more years than I care to count, I have experienced bouts of anxious feelings that cause my brain to spin in loops and my days to be wasted away in an anxious search for… something.

For a long time, I could not identify why I would feel this anxiousness build up in my chest. My racing mind would flip and jump from one idea to the next, attempting and failing to multitask. I felt unproductive even when I completed something important. I was unable to focus on one task for any period of time. I’d even feel too anxious to find a way to relax.

I felt like a misfiring gun, aiming nowhere and everywhere, shooting off in random directions but ultimately being exactly where I started.

People often say to me, “You seem like a pretty laid back dude.”

If only they knew.

Upon reflecting, I realize I first began to take notice of it when I began to care more for my personal growth and development. I wanted to be more, to do more and to be better, but I lacked the direction.

Some may recognize this as an existential anxiety. Now we just call it FOMO.

Society has developed a disease-of-motivation. Caused by an overwhelm of things to do, the brain is flooded with sensory input, and we try to do more and more. This disease forces us to constantly search for the next hit.

It’s why the media we consume is in short bursts of seconds, produced at an ever expanding rate for shorter attention spans. It lacks the permanence of True-Art and is forgotten in a whirlwind void of temporary satisfaction.

Among my friends, full blown panic attacks are not uncommon. Suffering from anxiety is something I encounter more and more as I meet more people.

Until recently, I kept it to myself because I did not recognize it for what it was. I have yet to have very open discussions about the subject with others - and so I remain largely ignorant.

Conversations on the subject are rare, and it seems to me a stigma many are not willing to discuss.

Mental health is a subject we avoid because it sounds wrong. Even physical ailments are something we are ashamed to admit. We invent a story that we are broken. It is a false narrative. We are not broken; we are whole, we are human. Part of being human is simply realizing that we are not so special that we are immune to problems.

Anyone who suffers has a reason for why they keep it buried: guilt, shame, pride, ignorance, or something else. In my case, it is a strong desire to be self reliant. Perhaps, in different words, it is a mistaken notion of wishing to avoid appearing weak.

Seeking help is not a weakness. It is a strength.

It takes strength to be honest with ourselves and admit that we are not perfect, nor is perfection something I wish to aim for any longer.

Thankfully, over the years, I have found ways to combat this disease-of-motivation.

[chaos-monkeyy]

Tag game that I was not tagged in but I saw @carsonsweebabyturtles do it and decided it looked more fun than work, so here I am 😆

1. Why did you choose your url? 

To match my AO3 handle, which was a mix of previously existing nicknames that I like

2. Any side blogs? 

Just recently started a personal sideblog! @deeper-into-the-chaos

3. How long have you been on Tumblr? 

Less than two years 🙈 I was not even aware of its existence before 2019

4. Do you have a queue tag?

Nope! I use the queue almost all the time, but I've genuinely never understood why queue tags are used..?

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place? 

To see fan art and to share my fics

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp? 

Because Luci is a hedonistic little demonmonkeycat and I really identify with that

Also I just really like the Aesthetic

7. Why did you choose your header? 

*saves draft and goes to look at header*

Oh right! Because I made it and I'm proud of my terrible little piece of fan art 😆

8. What’s your post with the most notes? 

A tumblr tagging PSA with things I noticed around avoiding having your posts hidden by tumblr, it somehow got reblogged by a Big Blog. It's somewhere in the 3-4,000 range of notes I think, but doesn't pop up in my notifications much anymore.

...it was honestly kind of a terrifying experience 😂 In large part because I got some things wrong in the original post and regretted not testing / researching it more thoroughly first 🙈

9. How many mutuals do you have? 

I have no idea... that sounds like it involves counting. Probably not very many, though. I decided early on that I wouldn't do the automatic mutual follow, both to carefully tailor what I see on my dash as well as to avoid getting myself mired in the 'but I followed them why didn't they follow me' sulks.

10. How many followers do you have? 

345 👀 Which kind of astounds me, but I'm not complaining 😂 I just always hope people read my header blurb and/or my pinned tagging system post so they know what they're getting into before a random niche kink post shows up in their feed one day 😅

11. How many people do you follow? 

79. I suffer from terrible FOMO (fear of missing out), and I actually have to be really careful - when I follow too many tumblrs I get stuck for way too long, multiple times a day, frantically scrolling to catch up every last new post on my dash. It's... not great 🙈😬

I also just vastly prefer to follow blogs that use some sort of reliable tagging system, out of personal preference.

12. Have you ever made a shitpost? 

Yes! I know for sure I've made one (1). Possibly a few others, but I'm not sure cause I've never been certain what exactly counts as a shitpost.

13. How often do you use Tumblr each day?

Probably way too much. I'd estimate I check it maybe ~5-10x a day, typically?

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

Not that I'm aware of? But in fairness, social awareness is really not one of my strong points 😂

[Case in point; walking through the park with my partner just yesterday and looking at all the people bbqing and picnicking. Me, noticing the group of particular well-dressed people nearby: Oh hey looks like a wedding going on too! (there's a church across the street from the park) - My partner, in a much quieter voice than I'd been using: No chaos, that's for a funeral. That's why they're all in black. (...there's a church across the street from the park). Whoops]

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts? 

I loathe them. Nothing makes me scroll without looking faster than being told what to do.

(Especially when it's incredibly not important stuff, I really wish that chain email style nonsense would just stop already. Reblogging a post will not bring you luck or grant wishes; it didn't work with chain letters and emails 30 years ago and it doesn't work with internet posts now 🙃)

16. Do you like tag games? 

Yes! So long as it's not the ones that just make me suspect someone is mining information to defraud password reset / identity verification questions.

17. Do you like ask games? 

Also yes! I like the excuse to ask other people random things and to answer other people's questions about random things.

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?

... no idea 🙈

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

Yup! 😊

-

(Not tagging anyone because Brian is misbehaving lately and making me second-guess everything, but if you see this and think Hey that looks like fun, please consider yourself tagged!! 💙)

[samuelpboswell]

Chris Brogan’s Guide to Building a Fast Blogging Framework

Blogging is a part of our origin story here at TopRank Marketing. In fact, we just celebrated the TopRank Marketing Blog’s 15th birthday this past December. But despite our blogging longevity, we’re always refining and optimizing, too. That’s why I attended Chris Brogan’s session on creating a fast blogging framework at Social Media Marketing World 2019. While there, I learned this bestselling author's approach to writing blog content (and had a few laughs along the way).

Be Fast

The key to Chris’ framework? The word “fast.” Being fast matters to Chris, informing the audience that “the average human only read 19 minutes a day. That includes texts, emails, and BuzzFeed articles. They’re not going to read your 2,000-word missive.” So, be quick. Get to the point. Don’t complicate things. Don’t write a white paper when it’s supposed to be a blog post.

Follow the Great Blogging Checklist

Chris is able to be a fast blogger because he has a list of what every blog post needs:

A great title

A relevant graphic

A “strong+story” first paragraph

A great first example

A second and/or third example

A list of action items

A call to action

To create blogs, Chris starts at the top of the list and works his way down, checking things off as he goes. But just like most lists, there are items on there that are prioritized. According to Chris, a great title is at the top of the framework because in today’s world “the subject line is the blog post.” Your title or subject line is what gets read the most by your audience. And if it doesn’t pull people in, convey the story you want to tell, and convince them to read, you’ve already failed. But what comes after that? How can you keep people on your blog once they’ve agreed to read it? Chris suggests reflecting on your own experience: “Think about when you read blog posts. You rarely ever read the whole thing. You can’t write your story like it’s a murder mystery and reveal the butler did it on the last page. Get the story into the first paragraph.” [bctt tweet="You can’t write your blog like it’s a murder mystery and reveal the butler did it on the last page. Get the story into the first paragraph.” - @chrisbrogan" username="toprank"]

Brevity Is Your Friend

As Chris said, people only read an average of 19 minutes each day. They don’t have the time to read a long, run-on sentence or a paragraph that refuses to end. Once you’ve finished your blog post, go back and see where you can make it more simple and get to the point faster. Your audience will appreciate the time you’re saving them in the long-run. For us, this doesn't mean long-form content is out. It means be concise, deliberate, and intentional with your language. If there’s a sentence that isn’t needed, cut it.

Connect on a Human Level

When it comes to the nitty gritty part of actually writing your blog post, Chris suggests letting go of your stuffy corporate identity and instead be human. Don’t be the brand. Be the person that represents the brand. Show your audience that you have feelings, opinions, jokes, and more.

Be a Guide

Chris’ last blogging tip is probably the most important: be a guide. Sure, a cool story is fun to read. But is a story really valuable if it doesn’t teach you something? Your blogs need answers to important questions. They need to solve problems. And one of the best ways to do that is to be a guide for your audience, helping them avoid disaster and reach their destination.

Blog Like Brogan

Content is everywhere—and so is our audience's attention. As Chris said, we need to strive to create blog post that people actually want to read. For Chris, that means eloquently getting to the point early on to hook readers, and then delivering on your promise in an intentional way. You're not trying to fill a web page. You're trying to fill your reader's mind with information they truly care about. Experiencing FOMO when it comes to Social Media Marketing World? Subscribe to TopRank blog or follow me on Twitter to stay up to date.

The post Chris Brogan’s Guide to Building a Fast Blogging Framework appeared first on Online Marketing Blog - TopRank®.

from The SEO Advantages https://www.toprankblog.com/2019/03/fast-blogging-framework/

[befoundonlinemarketing]

Chris Brogan’s Guide to Building a Fast Blogging Framework

Blogging is a part of our origin story here at TopRank Marketing. In fact, we just celebrated the TopRank Marketing Blog’s 15th birthday this past December. But despite our blogging longevity, we’re always refining and optimizing, too. That’s why I attended Chris Brogan’s session on creating a fast blogging framework at Social Media Marketing World 2019. While there, I learned this bestselling author's approach to writing blog content (and had a few laughs along the way).

Be Fast

The key to Chris’ framework? The word “fast.” Being fast matters to Chris, informing the audience that “the average human only read 19 minutes a day. That includes texts, emails, and BuzzFeed articles. They’re not going to read your 2,000-word missive.” So, be quick. Get to the point. Don’t complicate things. Don’t write a white paper when it’s supposed to be a blog post.

Follow the Great Blogging Checklist

Chris is able to be a fast blogger because he has a list of what every blog post needs:

A great title

A relevant graphic

A “strong+story” first paragraph

A great first example

A second and/or third example

A list of action items

A call to action

To create blogs, Chris starts at the top of the list and works his way down, checking things off as he goes. But just like most lists, there are items on there that are prioritized. According to Chris, a great title is at the top of the framework because in today’s world “the subject line is the blog post.” Your title or subject line is what gets read the most by your audience. And if it doesn’t pull people in, convey the story you want to tell, and convince them to read, you’ve already failed. But what comes after that? How can you keep people on your blog once they’ve agreed to read it? Chris suggests reflecting on your own experience: “Think about when you read blog posts. You rarely ever read the whole thing. You can’t write your story like it’s a murder mystery and reveal the butler did it on the last page. Get the story into the first paragraph.” [bctt tweet="You can’t write your blog like it’s a murder mystery and reveal the butler did it on the last page. Get the story into the first paragraph.” - @chrisbrogan" username="toprank"]

Brevity Is Your Friend

As Chris said, people only read an average of 19 minutes each day. They don’t have the time to read a long, run-on sentence or a paragraph that refuses to end. Once you’ve finished your blog post, go back and see where you can make it more simple and get to the point faster. Your audience will appreciate the time you’re saving them in the long-run. For us, this doesn't mean long-form content is out. It means be concise, deliberate, and intentional with your language. If there’s a sentence that isn’t needed, cut it.

Connect on a Human Level

When it comes to the nitty gritty part of actually writing your blog post, Chris suggests letting go of your stuffy corporate identity and instead be human. Don’t be the brand. Be the person that represents the brand. Show your audience that you have feelings, opinions, jokes, and more.

Be a Guide

Chris’ last blogging tip is probably the most important: be a guide. Sure, a cool story is fun to read. But is a story really valuable if it doesn’t teach you something? Your blogs need answers to important questions. They need to solve problems. And one of the best ways to do that is to be a guide for your audience, helping them avoid disaster and reach their destination.

Blog Like Brogan

Content is everywhere—and so is our audience's attention. As Chris said, we need to strive to create blog post that people actually want to read. For Chris, that means eloquently getting to the point early on to hook readers, and then delivering on your promise in an intentional way. You're not trying to fill a web page. You're trying to fill your reader's mind with information they truly care about. Experiencing FOMO when it comes to Social Media Marketing World? Subscribe to TopRank blog or follow me on Twitter to stay up to date.

The post Chris Brogan’s Guide to Building a Fast Blogging Framework appeared first on Online Marketing Blog - TopRank®.

Chris Brogan’s Guide to Building a Fast Blogging Framework posted first on http://www.toprankblog.com/

[christopheruearle]

Chris Brogan’s Guide to Building a Fast Blogging Framework

Blogging is a part of our origin story here at TopRank Marketing. In fact, we just celebrated the TopRank Marketing Blog’s 15th birthday this past December. But despite our blogging longevity, we’re always refining and optimizing, too. That’s why I attended Chris Brogan’s session on creating a fast blogging framework at Social Media Marketing World 2019. While there, I learned this bestselling author's approach to writing blog content (and had a few laughs along the way).

Be Fast

The key to Chris’ framework? The word “fast.” Being fast matters to Chris, informing the audience that “the average human only read 19 minutes a day. That includes texts, emails, and BuzzFeed articles. They’re not going to read your 2,000-word missive.” So, be quick. Get to the point. Don’t complicate things. Don’t write a white paper when it’s supposed to be a blog post.

Follow the Great Blogging Checklist

Chris is able to be a fast blogger because he has a list of what every blog post needs:

A great title

A relevant graphic

A “strong+story” first paragraph

A great first example

A second and/or third example

A list of action items

A call to action

To create blogs, Chris starts at the top of the list and works his way down, checking things off as he goes. But just like most lists, there are items on there that are prioritized. According to Chris, a great title is at the top of the framework because in today’s world “the subject line is the blog post.” Your title or subject line is what gets read the most by your audience. And if it doesn’t pull people in, convey the story you want to tell, and convince them to read, you’ve already failed. But what comes after that? How can you keep people on your blog once they’ve agreed to read it? Chris suggests reflecting on your own experience: “Think about when you read blog posts. You rarely ever read the whole thing. You can’t write your story like it’s a murder mystery and reveal the butler did it on the last page. Get the story into the first paragraph.” [bctt tweet="You can’t write your blog like it’s a murder mystery and reveal the butler did it on the last page. Get the story into the first paragraph.” - @chrisbrogan" username="toprank"]

Brevity Is Your Friend

As Chris said, people only read an average of 19 minutes each day. They don’t have the time to read a long, run-on sentence or a paragraph that refuses to end. Once you’ve finished your blog post, go back and see where you can make it more simple and get to the point faster. Your audience will appreciate the time you’re saving them in the long-run. For us, this doesn't mean long-form content is out. It means be concise, deliberate, and intentional with your language. If there’s a sentence that isn’t needed, cut it.

Connect on a Human Level

When it comes to the nitty gritty part of actually writing your blog post, Chris suggests letting go of your stuffy corporate identity and instead be human. Don’t be the brand. Be the person that represents the brand. Show your audience that you have feelings, opinions, jokes, and more.

Be a Guide

Chris’ last blogging tip is probably the most important: be a guide. Sure, a cool story is fun to read. But is a story really valuable if it doesn’t teach you something? Your blogs need answers to important questions. They need to solve problems. And one of the best ways to do that is to be a guide for your audience, helping them avoid disaster and reach their destination.

Blog Like Brogan

Content is everywhere—and so is our audience's attention. As Chris said, we need to strive to create blog post that people actually want to read. For Chris, that means eloquently getting to the point early on to hook readers, and then delivering on your promise in an intentional way. You're not trying to fill a web page. You're trying to fill your reader's mind with information they truly care about. Experiencing FOMO when it comes to Social Media Marketing World? Subscribe to TopRank blog or follow me on Twitter to stay up to date.

The post Chris Brogan’s Guide to Building a Fast Blogging Framework appeared first on Online Marketing Blog - TopRank®.

[pizarnikeana]

i went to see don’t worry, he won’t get far on foot last night by myself but on a virtual date with rix where they watched it by themselves too. a man tripped on my feet and fell onto the couch below me and acted like it was my fault while pretending i wasn’t there so i moved one row behind him. 

i got upset at one scene where a physician brings in a bunch of medical students on rotation and they’re all asian. the scene was trying to depict the dehumanization of the disabled with people coming to see the main character as if he were a spectacle. which is fine except why did they all have to be asian. i’m not fucking clinical. well anyway i lost my cool and felt like walking out of the theatre and kicking in a bunch of shit but i didn’t.

when things happen and i want to act out i’m not sure what the right thing to do is, if i should act on my impulses or try to suppress them but then i’m not sure where those feelings go to die. see, they must still be somewhere inside me. is that impulse me, and do i negate myself by suppressing it? if me chooses to be not-me, is that me or not-me? 

this is all to say i am having trouble attaining clarity with regards to who i am. i was talking to rix earlier about impression management. we are both people pleasers it turns out, so there is a certain level of monitoring that goes on with our front-stage selves when entering new relationships. bringing toward what is good and shoving behind the blinds what is bad. at a certain point this stops, out of laziness on my part, confidence in myself, and trust in the other person to continue wanting to be in my life. sometimes (most of the time) this works. but the times where it doesn’t, am i guilty of the pain that follows? do i hide in my shame and move on? i don’t want to blindside anyone, but i have. and i wonder if that’s what happened with aimee. you fell in love with someone else, my not-me. maybe the people that have stayed did so because they didn’t have so much on the line to lose. i wish our relationship hadn’t happened, only because it’s so broken now. there is a way to fix it but that means going back and going back is not possible. i would say yes to being with you still but it still means that everything that happened happened and it can still hurt you and you’re going to be afraid of that hurt and it won’t stop. i don’t trust myself to be able to stop. every moment i didn’t spend with you you would be questioning whether or not i’m doing something we didn’t agree to and think of all the times i did that in the past and if you ask and i say no you’ll be wondering whether or not i lied. and we’d be stuck like that every single time. this is what i believe right now and if that’s really true then i can’t see a way for us both to move forward without leaving each other behind. 

i hope when i see you again i don’t. it’s harder for you now but it’ll be harder for me then. for your sake i want you to move on but for my sake i don’t. it would be easier on me if you forgave everything and we got together again. you are the love of my life and i lost. now, i’m going to pretend that i didn’t just start crying and choke on a sour pez that i swallowed whole because i started crying. i deleted this because writing makes me feel insane and forces me to form feelings and thought into words. most of the time i’m creating distractions for myself. to be honest if i did this again out of everyone else i would still have wanted to see ames, yves, and rix. those three stand out to me because i have learned a lot being with them and the connections i could see myself having with them are different and vary in degree. it’s selfish but i don’t want to lose out on a relationship that i think could be really strong and fun (rix), really casual and comfortable (ames), or really nurturing (yves) and all meaningful to me. those are the mistakes i would still choose to make and maybe that means i don’t deserve you, that the happiness i could give you wasn’t worth the hurt. i’m confident i can find another relationship that makes me as happy as this one has made me, that is more compatible and takes less effort to make work, but i know as fact that i won’t find this one again. because you’re right, there might be people similar to you but there’s only ever going to be one you. there are plenty of people like me, but i am the only one who is going to ever be me. you can’t replicate a feeling, an experience, or how that feeling is experienced. if you took another person and put them through the exact childhood i went through, it’s doubtful they would turn out like i did. and that goes for anyone. i do believe there is a component of personality that is intrinsic. and this is the problem for me. the part of me that is me down to the core is the one i am trying to stamp out. the alex that overreacts, that lacks a stable sense of self, that is terrified, that is violent, that sees things as either black and white and keeps changing their mind between what is which, that hurts themselves and everyone else, that cannot stand to be alone, that acts in extreme ways to avoid letting go or being let go of. is it right for me to want it all, everything that i think could make me happy, if i am jeopardizing something else, hurting someone else, that is also making me happy? it isn’t that it was something you were doing or that you yourself weren’t enough, it’s that not having absolute freedom to make these decisions and have these relationships for myself isn’t enough for me. i want to be able to have all these wonderful connections with people. i want to be able to be intimate. i pretty much thrive on that good energy and little serendipitous happenstances like that. it is a really bad case of fomo but i don’t see anything wrong with that in and of itself. i know the bad things it can lead to because i’ve done them myself. and that’s the part that hurts. 

this is going to be the first time i’ve been out of a relationship and sleeping by myself in years. i don’t want to be alone but if i want this i need to. i need to be interested in people for the right reasons and value them for who they are instead of for their time or their attention. 

i do want to change and be what others think of me when we first meet. a small boy who is silly and sweet. not harmless but has the capacity to hurt and chooses not to. i know that can happen and i know it is far out of reach. i call my other fragile because the moment i get there, it shatters. 

[conniecogeie]

12 Instagram Accounts You Must Follow

Here’s the deal: If you’re like me, you are mere hours from a much-needed week of freedom. Right now, all you want is too much food, too much wine, and far too many naps (if there is such a thing). With that in mind, I wrote a list of sheer entertainment, just for you. Please enjoy this early vacation for your brain.

As content marketing people, we know the importance of staying up with the times, especially in terms of technology, topics, and trends. As we roll into the new year, I’m sure you’re going to see about 100 lists of tools you should use, technology you should invest in, and trends you should watch.

That said, here is the most important list to drop in the world of content marketing: 12 ridiculously entertaining Instagram accounts you should follow to stay current, fam.

As marketers struggle to create relatable and engaging content, the ability to see through the lens of their audiences has never been more important. Thankfully, as Americans become more active online, we can learn a lot about audience preference through the relatable and inspiring posts of these top Instagram accounts.

Without further ado, in honor of the 12 days of Christmas, I give you 12 Instagram accounts that you must follow as we roll into 2018—partridge in a pear tree not included.

Marketers can learn a lot about audience preference from the world's top Instagram accounts. Click To Tweet 1. Follow @tank.sinatra for “Dank Memes”

You will laugh; you will cry. You will likely share a couple memes with your friends.

A post shared by Tank.Sinatra (@tank.sinatra) on Nov 21, 2017 at 6:01am PST

Tank’s meme’s are famously relatable because of how honest they are. Time and time again, he hits the nail on the head with many current issues. Additionally, in his rise to fame, he has started sharing memes created by other accounts, always careful to give credit where credit is due. In doing so, he has positioned himself as a leader in the world of respectful meme sharing.

Guaranteed (don’t follow me if you don’t get 80’s references)

A post shared by Tank.Sinatra (@tank.sinatra) on Nov 19, 2017 at 8:05am PST

Finally, Tank wins my gold star of approval for starting @tanksgoodnews this year, an account dedicated to positive stories—the type of content too often in short supply.

A post shared by Good News Only (@tanksgoodnews) on Dec 14, 2017 at 10:12am PST

I’m not crying, you’re crying!

2. Follow @buzzfeedtasty to Activate Your Salivary Glands

With each video racking in over a million views, the power of this cooking account is nothing to underestimate.

Turn your potato from spud to stud by making Buffalo Chicken Potatoes

A post shared by Tasty (@buzzfeedtasty) on Dec 14, 2017 at 1:30pm PST

Gone are the days of Paula Dean, Giada, and all those fancy and famous chefs who forced us to tune in for a 30-minute segment in order to better our cooking skills. In about a minute, Tasty will deliver tantalizing tutorials.

While I highly recommend watching at least 10 videos a visit, each video is satisfying enough to inspire at least an ounce of self-confidence. Today, you learned! How extremely productive of you. You won���t feel a teaspoon of guilt when you pass up grocery lines for Taco Bell, yet again. You might, however, feel a little FOMO.

The diet starts Monday

A post shared by Tasty (@buzzfeedtasty) on Nov 17, 2017 at 5:30pm PST

3. Follow @pumpkintheraccoon to Feel Something (Anything) Again

Sometimes all you need in life is the love of an uncommon furry companion. At least that’s what over a million fans think of the rescued Bahamian raccoon named Pumpkin.

#flashbackfriday to when Pumps was oh so proud of her nails!

A post shared by Pumpkin The Raccoon (@pumpkintheraccoon) on Dec 8, 2017 at 11:35am PST

Yes, cute animal accounts are nothing new, but accounts of rescued wild animals such as @pumpkintheraccoon and @juniperfoxx have a special, hipster flair.

While @iamlilbub and @realgrumpycat are still where it’s at, @pumpkintheraccon and @juniperfoxx are worth a follow. Take one look at their faces and tell me you’re not regretting every time you coveted a fox fur coat or cursed your neighborhood trash pandas.

A post shared by J U N I P E R & F I G (@juniperfoxx) on Apr 27, 2017 at 11:19am PDT

3. Follow @cosmopolitan to Regret Following @cosmopolitan

Why follow the Kardashians when you could follow an account that feeds you all important Kardashian news plus that of Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez, and Beyoncé? Cosmopolitan will provide excellent Instagram Stories to keep you informed on all the celebrity gossip.

Yeah, I’m cringing a little, too. But, no matter what, you have to give Cosmo credit for engaging young women over many generations. And, of late, Cosmo has become a leading voice for young female empowerment. Hurrah to that!

BOOM.

A post shared by Cosmopolitan (@cosmopolitan) on Dec 14, 2017 at 6:01am PST

5. Follow @nytimes to Feel Worldly (and to Avoid the Subscription Fees)

If you are currently a New York Times subscriber, you probably don’t read as many of their articles as you wish you did. If so, your subscription inspires more guilt than anything else. Their Instagram account, however, will just leave you inspired.

A post shared by The New York Times (@nytimes) on Dec 13, 2017 at 5:38am PST

Celebrity and/or US news is still @nytimes’s most engaging post topic, but the abundance of world news and slice of foreign life images are powerful beyond words.

6. Follow @photoshop to Dream Again

If a picture is worth a thousand words, these pictures are worth one million. Inexplicably gorgeous, these photos depict waking dreams, as noted by their current #ps_dreams campaign.

Finding the moon with @giffyart. Be sure to tag your #Ps_Dreams work to be featured this month!

A post shared by Adobe Photoshop (@photoshop) on Dec 12, 2017 at 9:02am PST

Photoshop takes advantage of user-generated content in the best way—these posts are submitted by independent designers and artists. On Photoshop’s Story, you can often see the artist’s process for creating these otherworldly images.

Exploring the unknown with @simplearts.ru. Be sure to tag your #Ps_Fantasy work to be featured this month!

A post shared by Adobe Photoshop (@photoshop) on Oct 10, 2017 at 8:52am PDT

7. Follow @simonegiertz to Wonder Why You Never Thought of That

Originally a YouTube star, Simone Giertz is a darling in the world of DIY tech. Famous for her “sh*tty robots,” one could (and should) say that this self-taught inventor started a movement.

I might have just bought one of the world’s most ridiculous cars. I call her Cheese Louise, because she looks like a cheese wedge (and runs about as well as one too). I’M OBSESSED! Just posted a video about it, link in bio

A post shared by Simone Giertz (@simonegiertz) on Nov 24, 2017 at 10:44am PST

Since appearing on primetime television shows like Mythbusters and The Colbert Show, Giertz has picked up considerable fame. Follow her to embrace your inner nerd, empathizing as she openly begs NASA to make her an astronaut, all the while laughing at her own expense.

So honored and humbled. Can’t believe LEGO decided to put me in their latest Women of NASA kit. That’s me on the left, next to the toilet!

A post shared by Simone Giertz (@simonegiertz) on Dec 18, 2017 at 10:03am PST

8. Follow (the Nearly Secret) @sifullframe for Captivating Sports Photography

Their following is small, but their photos are mighty. Even non-sports lovers will appreciate the brilliance of these images.

Eagles vs. Rams Photograph by Robert Beck @shoot802 @sportsillustrated

A post shared by Sports Illustrated Full Frame (@sifullframe) on Dec 11, 2017 at 1:37pm PST

In an effort to portray “sports and the human spirit,” these images from Sports Illustrated photographers aim to give you the feels—independent of your team affiliation.

Meet our Sports Kid of the Year Bunchie Young! Congratulations, Bunchie! : John W. McDonough

A post shared by Sports Illustrated Full Frame (@sifullframe) on Nov 30, 2017 at 11:16am PST

After scrolling through their profile for a couple minutes, you’ll probably think to yourself, “Hmm . . . People are pretty dang cool.”

9. Follow @betches for Hilarious #GRLPWR

No teeny-bopper high school content here—this nearly 100 percent NSFW account is for us strong, independent, powerful, slightly passive-aggressive women.

A post shared by BETCHES (@betches) on Nov 29, 2017 at 10:07am PST

The posts in @betches are the kinds of posts you’ll want to send to all your friends and co-workers alike. Although, in my experience, aren’t “friends” and “co-workers” the same thing?

A post shared by BETCHES (@betches) on Dec 18, 2017 at 8:30am PST

As noted above, I’m especially fond of their posts that focus on the hilarious themes of laziness, boredom, and defeat.

10. Follow @9gag to Hang Out with the Internet’s Army of Teenage Nerds

Enter a world where cynicism rules (as long as puppies aren’t involved), to the tune of one million likes. Inexplicably, posts from @9gag reach the engagement and popularity seen only in international celebrity accounts.

A post shared by 9GAG: Go Fun The World (@9gag) on Dec 14, 2017 at 9:13am PST

The audience, however, is as young as you’d assume. Posts about studying, parents, and unrequited love are especially popular in their audience that runs 43 million deep.

A post shared by 9GAG: Go Fun The World (@9gag) on Dec 16, 2017 at 8:03pm PST

11. Follow @barstoolsports to Fear for Society

You will dislike yourself and the whole world with this one, but influence is influence. Prepare yourself for many puke, fart, or beer jokes with this account. Some gems, such as the video below, do exist.

A post shared by Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) on Dec 18, 2017 at 3:13pm PST

Pursuing @barstoolsports beyond the example provided is not recommended—because standards.

12. Follow @myhotelcarpet to Renew Your Faith in Society

After Barstool Sports, we all need a little something to cleanse the palate and the soul. This account was created by a man with a passion for carpets. When the following tweet from his daughter went viral, magic happened.

All I Want For Christmas is for my Dad’s hotel carpet instagram to go viral, please help this happen http://pic.twitter.com/pqCWDglFf9

— Jill (@jillisyoung) November 25, 2017

Now hundreds of thousands of people follow Bill just to like his posts and comment about their appreciation for the pattern he’s captured. Thousands of people cheer him on daily—a giant happy inside joke in which everyone’s invited.

I found this #hotelcarpet in a lovely back ballroom on the 49th floor of the @nagoyamarriott in Japan. This one speaks to me in a language not of words, but of structure, tone, and pattern. Like I imagine the color beige would taste, the way I see this carpet is more of a feeling than a concise, crisp statement. Ok, I admit it kind of looks like a cross between an Ewok and a Dodge Ram’s hood – the more I stare I see other layers. What do you see? #HadtolookuphowtospellEwok #lotsofbrownsgoingonthere #littlesantaclausvibetoo #ifSantawasevil #ifitweresmilingitwouldntbesocreepy #unlessitwasaclown #theeyesarekindthough #imhungrynow #wantsomepeaches #peachesarenteviltheymakemehappy #peachescomeinacan #lovethishotel #greatstaff @marriotthotels @marriottrewards #loveallyall @jillisyoung

A post shared by Bill Young (@myhotelcarpet) on Dec 15, 2017 at 6:05am PST

http://ift.tt/2kTzGbi

[maryhare96]

12 Instagram Accounts You Must Follow

Here’s the deal: If you’re like me, you are mere hours from a much-needed week of freedom. Right now, all you want is too much food, too much wine, and far too many naps (if there is such a thing). With that in mind, I wrote a list of sheer entertainment, just for you. Please enjoy this early vacation for your brain.

As content marketing people, we know the importance of staying up with the times, especially in terms of technology, topics, and trends. As we roll into the new year, I’m sure you’re going to see about 100 lists of tools you should use, technology you should invest in, and trends you should watch.

That said, here is the most important list to drop in the world of content marketing: 12 ridiculously entertaining Instagram accounts you should follow to stay current, fam.

As marketers struggle to create relatable and engaging content, the ability to see through the lens of their audiences has never been more important. Thankfully, as Americans become more active online, we can learn a lot about audience preference through the relatable and inspiring posts of these top Instagram accounts.

Without further ado, in honor of the 12 days of Christmas, I give you 12 Instagram accounts that you must follow as we roll into 2018—partridge in a pear tree not included.

Marketers can learn a lot about audience preference from the world's top Instagram accounts. Click To Tweet 1. Follow @tank.sinatra for “Dank Memes”

You will laugh; you will cry. You will likely share a couple memes with your friends.

A post shared by Tank.Sinatra (@tank.sinatra) on Nov 21, 2017 at 6:01am PST

Tank’s meme’s are famously relatable because of how honest they are. Time and time again, he hits the nail on the head with many current issues. Additionally, in his rise to fame, he has started sharing memes created by other accounts, always careful to give credit where credit is due. In doing so, he has positioned himself as a leader in the world of respectful meme sharing.

Guaranteed (don’t follow me if you don’t get 80’s references)

A post shared by Tank.Sinatra (@tank.sinatra) on Nov 19, 2017 at 8:05am PST

Finally, Tank wins my gold star of approval for starting @tanksgoodnews this year, an account dedicated to positive stories—the type of content too often in short supply.

A post shared by Good News Only (@tanksgoodnews) on Dec 14, 2017 at 10:12am PST

I’m not crying, you’re crying!

2. Follow @buzzfeedtasty to Activate Your Salivary Glands

With each video racking in over a million views, the power of this cooking account is nothing to underestimate.

Turn your potato from spud to stud by making Buffalo Chicken Potatoes

A post shared by Tasty (@buzzfeedtasty) on Dec 14, 2017 at 1:30pm PST

Gone are the days of Paula Dean, Giada, and all those fancy and famous chefs who forced us to tune in for a 30-minute segment in order to better our cooking skills. In about a minute, Tasty will deliver tantalizing tutorials.

While I highly recommend watching at least 10 videos a visit, each video is satisfying enough to inspire at least an ounce of self-confidence. Today, you learned! How extremely productive of you. You won’t feel a teaspoon of guilt when you pass up grocery lines for Taco Bell, yet again. You might, however, feel a little FOMO.

The diet starts Monday

A post shared by Tasty (@buzzfeedtasty) on Nov 17, 2017 at 5:30pm PST

3. Follow @pumpkintheraccoon to Feel Something (Anything) Again

Sometimes all you need in life is the love of an uncommon furry companion. At least that’s what over a million fans think of the rescued Bahamian raccoon named Pumpkin.

#flashbackfriday to when Pumps was oh so proud of her nails!

A post shared by Pumpkin The Raccoon (@pumpkintheraccoon) on Dec 8, 2017 at 11:35am PST

Yes, cute animal accounts are nothing new, but accounts of rescued wild animals such as @pumpkintheraccoon and @juniperfoxx have a special, hipster flair.

While @iamlilbub and @realgrumpycat are still where it’s at, @pumpkintheraccon and @juniperfoxx are worth a follow. Take one look at their faces and tell me you’re not regretting every time you coveted a fox fur coat or cursed your neighborhood trash pandas.

A post shared by J U N I P E R & F I G (@juniperfoxx) on Apr 27, 2017 at 11:19am PDT

3. Follow @cosmopolitan to Regret Following @cosmopolitan

Why follow the Kardashians when you could follow an account that feeds you all important Kardashian news plus that of Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez, and Beyoncé? Cosmopolitan will provide excellent Instagram Stories to keep you informed on all the celebrity gossip.

Yeah, I’m cringing a little, too. But, no matter what, you have to give Cosmo credit for engaging young women over many generations. And, of late, Cosmo has become a leading voice for young female empowerment. Hurrah to that!

BOOM.

A post shared by Cosmopolitan (@cosmopolitan) on Dec 14, 2017 at 6:01am PST

5. Follow @nytimes to Feel Worldly (and to Avoid the Subscription Fees)

If you are currently a New York Times subscriber, you probably don’t read as many of their articles as you wish you did. If so, your subscription inspires more guilt than anything else. Their Instagram account, however, will just leave you inspired.

A post shared by The New York Times (@nytimes) on Dec 13, 2017 at 5:38am PST

Celebrity and/or US news is still @nytimes’s most engaging post topic, but the abundance of world news and slice of foreign life images are powerful beyond words.

6. Follow @photoshop to Dream Again

If a picture is worth a thousand words, these pictures are worth one million. Inexplicably gorgeous, these photos depict waking dreams, as noted by their current #ps_dreams campaign.

Finding the moon with @giffyart. Be sure to tag your #Ps_Dreams work to be featured this month!

A post shared by Adobe Photoshop (@photoshop) on Dec 12, 2017 at 9:02am PST

Photoshop takes advantage of user-generated content in the best way—these posts are submitted by independent designers and artists. On Photoshop’s Story, you can often see the artist’s process for creating these otherworldly images.

Exploring the unknown with @simplearts.ru. Be sure to tag your #Ps_Fantasy work to be featured this month!

A post shared by Adobe Photoshop (@photoshop) on Oct 10, 2017 at 8:52am PDT

7. Follow @simonegiertz to Wonder Why You Never Thought of That

Originally a YouTube star, Simone Giertz is a darling in the world of DIY tech. Famous for her “sh*tty robots,” one could (and should) say that this self-taught inventor started a movement.

I might have just bought one of the world’s most ridiculous cars. I call her Cheese Louise, because she looks like a cheese wedge (and runs about as well as one too). I’M OBSESSED! Just posted a video about it, link in bio

A post shared by Simone Giertz (@simonegiertz) on Nov 24, 2017 at 10:44am PST

Since appearing on primetime television shows like Mythbusters and The Colbert Show, Giertz has picked up considerable fame. Follow her to embrace your inner nerd, empathizing as she openly begs NASA to make her an astronaut, all the while laughing at her own expense.

So honored and humbled. Can’t believe LEGO decided to put me in their latest Women of NASA kit. That’s me on the left, next to the toilet!

A post shared by Simone Giertz (@simonegiertz) on Dec 18, 2017 at 10:03am PST

8. Follow (the Nearly Secret) @sifullframe for Captivating Sports Photography

Their following is small, but their photos are mighty. Even non-sports lovers will appreciate the brilliance of these images.

Eagles vs. Rams Photograph by Robert Beck @shoot802 @sportsillustrated

A post shared by Sports Illustrated Full Frame (@sifullframe) on Dec 11, 2017 at 1:37pm PST

In an effort to portray “sports and the human spirit,” these images from Sports Illustrated photographers aim to give you the feels—independent of your team affiliation.

Meet our Sports Kid of the Year Bunchie Young! Congratulations, Bunchie! : John W. McDonough

A post shared by Sports Illustrated Full Frame (@sifullframe) on Nov 30, 2017 at 11:16am PST

After scrolling through their profile for a couple minutes, you’ll probably think to yourself, “Hmm . . . People are pretty dang cool.”

9. Follow @betches for Hilarious #GRLPWR

No teeny-bopper high school content here—this nearly 100 percent NSFW account is for us strong, independent, powerful, slightly passive-aggressive women.

A post shared by BETCHES (@betches) on Nov 29, 2017 at 10:07am PST

The posts in @betches are the kinds of posts you’ll want to send to all your friends and co-workers alike. Although, in my experience, aren’t “friends” and “co-workers” the same thing?

A post shared by BETCHES (@betches) on Dec 18, 2017 at 8:30am PST

As noted above, I’m especially fond of their posts that focus on the hilarious themes of laziness, boredom, and defeat.

10. Follow @9gag to Hang Out with the Internet’s Army of Teenage Nerds

Enter a world where cynicism rules (as long as puppies aren’t involved), to the tune of one million likes. Inexplicably, posts from @9gag reach the engagement and popularity seen only in international celebrity accounts.

A post shared by 9GAG: Go Fun The World (@9gag) on Dec 14, 2017 at 9:13am PST

The audience, however, is as young as you’d assume. Posts about studying, parents, and unrequited love are especially popular in their audience that runs 43 million deep.

A post shared by 9GAG: Go Fun The World (@9gag) on Dec 16, 2017 at 8:03pm PST

11. Follow @barstoolsports to Fear for Society

You will dislike yourself and the whole world with this one, but influence is influence. Prepare yourself for many puke, fart, or beer jokes with this account. Some gems, such as the video below, do exist.

A post shared by Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) on Dec 18, 2017 at 3:13pm PST

Pursuing @barstoolsports beyond the example provided is not recommended—because standards.

12. Follow @myhotelcarpet to Renew Your Faith in Society

After Barstool Sports, we all need a little something to cleanse the palate and the soul. This account was created by a man with a passion for carpets. When the following tweet from his daughter went viral, magic happened.

All I Want For Christmas is for my Dad’s hotel carpet instagram to go viral, please help this happen http://pic.twitter.com/pqCWDglFf9

— Jill (@jillisyoung) November 25, 2017

Now hundreds of thousands of people follow Bill just to like his posts and comment about their appreciation for the pattern he’s captured. Thousands of people cheer him on daily—a giant happy inside joke in which everyone’s invited.

I found this #hotelcarpet in a lovely back ballroom on the 49th floor of the @nagoyamarriott in Japan. This one speaks to me in a language not of words, but of structure, tone, and pattern. Like I imagine the color beige would taste, the way I see this carpet is more of a feeling than a concise, crisp statement. Ok, I admit it kind of looks like a cross between an Ewok and a Dodge Ram’s hood – the more I stare I see other layers. What do you see? #HadtolookuphowtospellEwok #lotsofbrownsgoingonthere #littlesantaclausvibetoo #ifSantawasevil #ifitweresmilingitwouldntbesocreepy #unlessitwasaclown #theeyesarekindthough #imhungrynow #wantsomepeaches #peachesarenteviltheymakemehappy #peachescomeinacan #lovethishotel #greatstaff @marriotthotels @marriottrewards #loveallyall @jillisyoung

A post shared by Bill Young (@myhotelcarpet) on Dec 15, 2017 at 6:05am PST

http://ift.tt/2kTzGbi

[christinesumpmg]

12 Instagram Accounts You Must Follow

Here’s the deal: If you’re like me, you are mere hours from a much-needed week of freedom. Right now, all you want is too much food, too much wine, and far too many naps (if there is such a thing). With that in mind, I wrote a list of sheer entertainment, just for you. Please enjoy this early vacation for your brain.

As content marketing people, we know the importance of staying up with the times, especially in terms of technology, topics, and trends. As we roll into the new year, I’m sure you’re going to see about 100 lists of tools you should use, technology you should invest in, and trends you should watch.

That said, here is the most important list to drop in the world of content marketing: 12 ridiculously entertaining Instagram accounts you should follow to stay current, fam.

As marketers struggle to create relatable and engaging content, the ability to see through the lens of their audiences has never been more important. Thankfully, as Americans become more active online, we can learn a lot about audience preference through the relatable and inspiring posts of these top Instagram accounts.

Without further ado, in honor of the 12 days of Christmas, I give you 12 Instagram accounts that you must follow as we roll into 2018—partridge in a pear tree not included.

Marketers can learn a lot about audience preference from the world's top Instagram accounts. Click To Tweet 1. Follow @tank.sinatra for “Dank Memes”

You will laugh; you will cry. You will likely share a couple memes with your friends.

A post shared by Tank.Sinatra (@tank.sinatra) on Nov 21, 2017 at 6:01am PST

Tank’s meme’s are famously relatable because of how honest they are. Time and time again, he hits the nail on the head with many current issues. Additionally, in his rise to fame, he has started sharing memes created by other accounts, always careful to give credit where credit is due. In doing so, he has positioned himself as a leader in the world of respectful meme sharing.

Guaranteed (don’t follow me if you don’t get 80’s references)

A post shared by Tank.Sinatra (@tank.sinatra) on Nov 19, 2017 at 8:05am PST

Finally, Tank wins my gold star of approval for starting @tanksgoodnews this year, an account dedicated to positive stories—the type of content too often in short supply.

A post shared by Good News Only (@tanksgoodnews) on Dec 14, 2017 at 10:12am PST

I’m not crying, you’re crying!

2. Follow @buzzfeedtasty to Activate Your Salivary Glands

With each video racking in over a million views, the power of this cooking account is nothing to underestimate.

Turn your potato from spud to stud by making Buffalo Chicken Potatoes

A post shared by Tasty (@buzzfeedtasty) on Dec 14, 2017 at 1:30pm PST

Gone are the days of Paula Dean, Giada, and all those fancy and famous chefs who forced us to tune in for a 30-minute segment in order to better our cooking skills. In about a minute, Tasty will deliver tantalizing tutorials.

While I highly recommend watching at least 10 videos a visit, each video is satisfying enough to inspire at least an ounce of self-confidence. Today, you learned! How extremely productive of you. You won’t feel a teaspoon of guilt when you pass up grocery lines for Taco Bell, yet again. You might, however, feel a little FOMO.

The diet starts Monday

A post shared by Tasty (@buzzfeedtasty) on Nov 17, 2017 at 5:30pm PST

3. Follow @pumpkintheraccoon to Feel Something (Anything) Again

Sometimes all you need in life is the love of an uncommon furry companion. At least that’s what over a million fans think of the rescued Bahamian raccoon named Pumpkin.

#flashbackfriday to when Pumps was oh so proud of her nails!

A post shared by Pumpkin The Raccoon (@pumpkintheraccoon) on Dec 8, 2017 at 11:35am PST

Yes, cute animal accounts are nothing new, but accounts of rescued wild animals such as @pumpkintheraccoon and @juniperfoxx have a special, hipster flair.

While @iamlilbub and @realgrumpycat are still where it’s at, @pumpkintheraccon and @juniperfoxx are worth a follow. Take one look at their faces and tell me you’re not regretting every time you coveted a fox fur coat or cursed your neighborhood trash pandas.

A post shared by J U N I P E R & F I G (@juniperfoxx) on Apr 27, 2017 at 11:19am PDT

3. Follow @cosmopolitan to Regret Following @cosmopolitan

Why follow the Kardashians when you could follow an account that feeds you all important Kardashian news plus that of Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez, and Beyoncé? Cosmopolitan will provide excellent Instagram Stories to keep you informed on all the celebrity gossip.

Yeah, I’m cringing a little, too. But, no matter what, you have to give Cosmo credit for engaging young women over many generations. And, of late, Cosmo has become a leading voice for young female empowerment. Hurrah to that!

BOOM.

A post shared by Cosmopolitan (@cosmopolitan) on Dec 14, 2017 at 6:01am PST

5. Follow @nytimes to Feel Worldly (and to Avoid the Subscription Fees)

If you are currently a New York Times subscriber, you probably don’t read as many of their articles as you wish you did. If so, your subscription inspires more guilt than anything else. Their Instagram account, however, will just leave you inspired.

A post shared by The New York Times (@nytimes) on Dec 13, 2017 at 5:38am PST

Celebrity and/or US news is still @nytimes’s most engaging post topic, but the abundance of world news and slice of foreign life images are powerful beyond words.

6. Follow @photoshop to Dream Again

If a picture is worth a thousand words, these pictures are worth one million. Inexplicably gorgeous, these photos depict waking dreams, as noted by their current #ps_dreams campaign.

Finding the moon with @giffyart. Be sure to tag your #Ps_Dreams work to be featured this month!

A post shared by Adobe Photoshop (@photoshop) on Dec 12, 2017 at 9:02am PST

Photoshop takes advantage of user-generated content in the best way—these posts are submitted by independent designers and artists. On Photoshop’s Story, you can often see the artist’s process for creating these otherworldly images.

Exploring the unknown with @simplearts.ru. Be sure to tag your #Ps_Fantasy work to be featured this month!

A post shared by Adobe Photoshop (@photoshop) on Oct 10, 2017 at 8:52am PDT

7. Follow @simonegiertz to Wonder Why You Never Thought of That

Originally a YouTube star, Simone Giertz is a darling in the world of DIY tech. Famous for her “sh*tty robots,” one could (and should) say that this self-taught inventor started a movement.

I might have just bought one of the world’s most ridiculous cars. I call her Cheese Louise, because she looks like a cheese wedge (and runs about as well as one too). I’M OBSESSED! Just posted a video about it, link in bio

A post shared by Simone Giertz (@simonegiertz) on Nov 24, 2017 at 10:44am PST

Since appearing on primetime television shows like Mythbusters and The Colbert Show, Giertz has picked up considerable fame. Follow her to embrace your inner nerd, empathizing as she openly begs NASA to make her an astronaut, all the while laughing at her own expense.

So honored and humbled. Can’t believe LEGO decided to put me in their latest Women of NASA kit. That’s me on the left, next to the toilet!

A post shared by Simone Giertz (@simonegiertz) on Dec 18, 2017 at 10:03am PST

8. Follow (the Nearly Secret) @sifullframe for Captivating Sports Photography

Their following is small, but their photos are mighty. Even non-sports lovers will appreciate the brilliance of these images.

Eagles vs. Rams Photograph by Robert Beck @shoot802 @sportsillustrated

A post shared by Sports Illustrated Full Frame (@sifullframe) on Dec 11, 2017 at 1:37pm PST

In an effort to portray “sports and the human spirit,” these images from Sports Illustrated photographers aim to give you the feels—independent of your team affiliation.

Meet our Sports Kid of the Year Bunchie Young! Congratulations, Bunchie! : John W. McDonough

A post shared by Sports Illustrated Full Frame (@sifullframe) on Nov 30, 2017 at 11:16am PST

After scrolling through their profile for a couple minutes, you’ll probably think to yourself, “Hmm . . . People are pretty dang cool.”

9. Follow @betches for Hilarious #GRLPWR

No teeny-bopper high school content here—this nearly 100 percent NSFW account is for us strong, independent, powerful, slightly passive-aggressive women.

A post shared by BETCHES (@betches) on Nov 29, 2017 at 10:07am PST

The posts in @betches are the kinds of posts you’ll want to send to all your friends and co-workers alike. Although, in my experience, aren’t “friends” and “co-workers” the same thing?

A post shared by BETCHES (@betches) on Dec 18, 2017 at 8:30am PST

As noted above, I’m especially fond of their posts that focus on the hilarious themes of laziness, boredom, and defeat.

10. Follow @9gag to Hang Out with the Internet’s Army of Teenage Nerds

Enter a world where cynicism rules (as long as puppies aren’t involved), to the tune of one million likes. Inexplicably, posts from @9gag reach the engagement and popularity seen only in international celebrity accounts.

A post shared by 9GAG: Go Fun The World (@9gag) on Dec 14, 2017 at 9:13am PST

The audience, however, is as young as you’d assume. Posts about studying, parents, and unrequited love are especially popular in their audience that runs 43 million deep.

A post shared by 9GAG: Go Fun The World (@9gag) on Dec 16, 2017 at 8:03pm PST

11. Follow @barstoolsports to Fear for Society

You will dislike yourself and the whole world with this one, but influence is influence. Prepare yourself for many puke, fart, or beer jokes with this account. Some gems, such as the video below, do exist.

A post shared by Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) on Dec 18, 2017 at 3:13pm PST

Pursuing @barstoolsports beyond the example provided is not recommended—because standards.

12. Follow @myhotelcarpet to Renew Your Faith in Society

After Barstool Sports, we all need a little something to cleanse the palate and the soul. This account was created by a man with a passion for carpets. When the following tweet from his daughter went viral, magic happened.

All I Want For Christmas is for my Dad’s hotel carpet instagram to go viral, please help this happen http://pic.twitter.com/pqCWDglFf9

— Jill (@jillisyoung) November 25, 2017

Now hundreds of thousands of people follow Bill just to like his posts and comment about their appreciation for the pattern he’s captured. Thousands of people cheer him on daily—a giant happy inside joke in which everyone’s invited.

I found this #hotelcarpet in a lovely back ballroom on the 49th floor of the @nagoyamarriott in Japan. This one speaks to me in a language not of words, but of structure, tone, and pattern. Like I imagine the color beige would taste, the way I see this carpet is more of a feeling than a concise, crisp statement. Ok, I admit it kind of looks like a cross between an Ewok and a Dodge Ram’s hood – the more I stare I see other layers. What do you see? #HadtolookuphowtospellEwok #lotsofbrownsgoingonthere #littlesantaclausvibetoo #ifSantawasevil #ifitweresmilingitwouldntbesocreepy #unlessitwasaclown #theeyesarekindthough #imhungrynow #wantsomepeaches #peachesarenteviltheymakemehappy #peachescomeinacan #lovethishotel #greatstaff @marriotthotels @marriottrewards #loveallyall @jillisyoung

A post shared by Bill Young (@myhotelcarpet) on Dec 15, 2017 at 6:05am PST

http://ift.tt/2kTzGbi

[rodneyevesuarywk]

12 Instagram Accounts You Must Follow

Here’s the deal: If you’re like me, you are mere hours from a much-needed week of freedom. Right now, all you want is too much food, too much wine, and far too many naps (if there is such a thing). With that in mind, I wrote a list of sheer entertainment, just for you. Please enjoy this early vacation for your brain.

As content marketing people, we know the importance of staying up with the times, especially in terms of technology, topics, and trends. As we roll into the new year, I’m sure you’re going to see about 100 lists of tools you should use, technology you should invest in, and trends you should watch.

That said, here is the most important list to drop in the world of content marketing: 12 ridiculously entertaining Instagram accounts you should follow to stay current, fam.

As marketers struggle to create relatable and engaging content, the ability to see through the lens of their audiences has never been more important. Thankfully, as Americans become more active online, we can learn a lot about audience preference through the relatable and inspiring posts of these top Instagram accounts.

Without further ado, in honor of the 12 days of Christmas, I give you 12 Instagram accounts that you must follow as we roll into 2018—partridge in a pear tree not included.

Marketers can learn a lot about audience preference from the world's top Instagram accounts. Click To Tweet 1. Follow @tank.sinatra for “Dank Memes”

You will laugh; you will cry. You will likely share a couple memes with your friends.

A post shared by Tank.Sinatra (@tank.sinatra) on Nov 21, 2017 at 6:01am PST

Tank’s meme’s are famously relatable because of how honest they are. Time and time again, he hits the nail on the head with many current issues. Additionally, in his rise to fame, he has started sharing memes created by other accounts, always careful to give credit where credit is due. In doing so, he has positioned himself as a leader in the world of respectful meme sharing.

Guaranteed (don’t follow me if you don’t get 80’s references)

A post shared by Tank.Sinatra (@tank.sinatra) on Nov 19, 2017 at 8:05am PST

Finally, Tank wins my gold star of approval for starting @tanksgoodnews this year, an account dedicated to positive stories—the type of content too often in short supply.

A post shared by Good News Only (@tanksgoodnews) on Dec 14, 2017 at 10:12am PST

I’m not crying, you’re crying!

2. Follow @buzzfeedtasty to Activate Your Salivary Glands

With each video racking in over a million views, the power of this cooking account is nothing to underestimate.

Turn your potato from spud to stud by making Buffalo Chicken Potatoes

A post shared by Tasty (@buzzfeedtasty) on Dec 14, 2017 at 1:30pm PST

Gone are the days of Paula Dean, Giada, and all those fancy and famous chefs who forced us to tune in for a 30-minute segment in order to better our cooking skills. In about a minute, Tasty will deliver tantalizing tutorials.

While I highly recommend watching at least 10 videos a visit, each video is satisfying enough to inspire at least an ounce of self-confidence. Today, you learned! How extremely productive of you. You won’t feel a teaspoon of guilt when you pass up grocery lines for Taco Bell, yet again. You might, however, feel a little FOMO.

The diet starts Monday

A post shared by Tasty (@buzzfeedtasty) on Nov 17, 2017 at 5:30pm PST

3. Follow @pumpkintheraccoon to Feel Something (Anything) Again

Sometimes all you need in life is the love of an uncommon furry companion. At least that’s what over a million fans think of the rescued Bahamian raccoon named Pumpkin.

#flashbackfriday to when Pumps was oh so proud of her nails!

A post shared by Pumpkin The Raccoon (@pumpkintheraccoon) on Dec 8, 2017 at 11:35am PST

Yes, cute animal accounts are nothing new, but accounts of rescued wild animals such as @pumpkintheraccoon and @juniperfoxx have a special, hipster flair.

While @iamlilbub and @realgrumpycat are still where it’s at, @pumpkintheraccon and @juniperfoxx are worth a follow. Take one look at their faces and tell me you’re not regretting every time you coveted a fox fur coat or cursed your neighborhood trash pandas.

A post shared by J U N I P E R & F I G (@juniperfoxx) on Apr 27, 2017 at 11:19am PDT

3. Follow @cosmopolitan to Regret Following @cosmopolitan

Why follow the Kardashians when you could follow an account that feeds you all important Kardashian news plus that of Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez, and Beyoncé? Cosmopolitan will provide excellent Instagram Stories to keep you informed on all the celebrity gossip.

Yeah, I’m cringing a little, too. But, no matter what, you have to give Cosmo credit for engaging young women over many generations. And, of late, Cosmo has become a leading voice for young female empowerment. Hurrah to that!

BOOM.

A post shared by Cosmopolitan (@cosmopolitan) on Dec 14, 2017 at 6:01am PST

5. Follow @nytimes to Feel Worldly (and to Avoid the Subscription Fees)

If you are currently a New York Times subscriber, you probably don’t read as many of their articles as you wish you did. If so, your subscription inspires more guilt than anything else. Their Instagram account, however, will just leave you inspired.

A post shared by The New York Times (@nytimes) on Dec 13, 2017 at 5:38am PST

Celebrity and/or US news is still @nytimes’s most engaging post topic, but the abundance of world news and slice of foreign life images are powerful beyond words.

6. Follow @photoshop to Dream Again

If a picture is worth a thousand words, these pictures are worth one million. Inexplicably gorgeous, these photos depict waking dreams, as noted by their current #ps_dreams campaign.

Finding the moon with @giffyart. Be sure to tag your #Ps_Dreams work to be featured this month!

A post shared by Adobe Photoshop (@photoshop) on Dec 12, 2017 at 9:02am PST

Photoshop takes advantage of user-generated content in the best way—these posts are submitted by independent designers and artists. On Photoshop’s Story, you can often see the artist’s process for creating these otherworldly images.

Exploring the unknown with @simplearts.ru. Be sure to tag your #Ps_Fantasy work to be featured this month!

A post shared by Adobe Photoshop (@photoshop) on Oct 10, 2017 at 8:52am PDT

7. Follow @simonegiertz to Wonder Why You Never Thought of That

Originally a YouTube star, Simone Giertz is a darling in the world of DIY tech. Famous for her “sh*tty robots,” one could (and should) say that this self-taught inventor started a movement.

I might have just bought one of the world’s most ridiculous cars. I call her Cheese Louise, because she looks like a cheese wedge (and runs about as well as one too). I’M OBSESSED! Just posted a video about it, link in bio

A post shared by Simone Giertz (@simonegiertz) on Nov 24, 2017 at 10:44am PST

Since appearing on primetime television shows like Mythbusters and The Colbert Show, Giertz has picked up considerable fame. Follow her to embrace your inner nerd, empathizing as she openly begs NASA to make her an astronaut, all the while laughing at her own expense.

So honored and humbled. Can’t believe LEGO decided to put me in their latest Women of NASA kit. That’s me on the left, next to the toilet!

A post shared by Simone Giertz (@simonegiertz) on Dec 18, 2017 at 10:03am PST

8. Follow (the Nearly Secret) @sifullframe for Captivating Sports Photography

Their following is small, but their photos are mighty. Even non-sports lovers will appreciate the brilliance of these images.

Eagles vs. Rams Photograph by Robert Beck @shoot802 @sportsillustrated

A post shared by Sports Illustrated Full Frame (@sifullframe) on Dec 11, 2017 at 1:37pm PST

In an effort to portray “sports and the human spirit,” these images from Sports Illustrated photographers aim to give you the feels—independent of your team affiliation.

Meet our Sports Kid of the Year Bunchie Young! Congratulations, Bunchie! : John W. McDonough

A post shared by Sports Illustrated Full Frame (@sifullframe) on Nov 30, 2017 at 11:16am PST

After scrolling through their profile for a couple minutes, you’ll probably think to yourself, “Hmm . . . People are pretty dang cool.”

9. Follow @betches for Hilarious #GRLPWR

No teeny-bopper high school content here—this nearly 100 percent NSFW account is for us strong, independent, powerful, slightly passive-aggressive women.

A post shared by BETCHES (@betches) on Nov 29, 2017 at 10:07am PST

The posts in @betches are the kinds of posts you’ll want to send to all your friends and co-workers alike. Although, in my experience, aren’t “friends” and “co-workers” the same thing?

A post shared by BETCHES (@betches) on Dec 18, 2017 at 8:30am PST

As noted above, I’m especially fond of their posts that focus on the hilarious themes of laziness, boredom, and defeat.

10. Follow @9gag to Hang Out with the Internet’s Army of Teenage Nerds

Enter a world where cynicism rules (as long as puppies aren’t involved), to the tune of one million likes. Inexplicably, posts from @9gag reach the engagement and popularity seen only in international celebrity accounts.

A post shared by 9GAG: Go Fun The World (@9gag) on Dec 14, 2017 at 9:13am PST

The audience, however, is as young as you’d assume. Posts about studying, parents, and unrequited love are especially popular in their audience that runs 43 million deep.

A post shared by 9GAG: Go Fun The World (@9gag) on Dec 16, 2017 at 8:03pm PST

11. Follow @barstoolsports to Fear for Society

You will dislike yourself and the whole world with this one, but influence is influence. Prepare yourself for many puke, fart, or beer jokes with this account. Some gems, such as the video below, do exist.

A post shared by Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) on Dec 18, 2017 at 3:13pm PST

Pursuing @barstoolsports beyond the example provided is not recommended—because standards.

12. Follow @myhotelcarpet to Renew Your Faith in Society

After Barstool Sports, we all need a little something to cleanse the palate and the soul. This account was created by a man with a passion for carpets. When the following tweet from his daughter went viral, magic happened.

All I Want For Christmas is for my Dad’s hotel carpet instagram to go viral, please help this happen http://pic.twitter.com/pqCWDglFf9

— Jill (@jillisyoung) November 25, 2017

Now hundreds of thousands of people follow Bill just to like his posts and comment about their appreciation for the pattern he’s captured. Thousands of people cheer him on daily—a giant happy inside joke in which everyone’s invited.

I found this #hotelcarpet in a lovely back ballroom on the 49th floor of the @nagoyamarriott in Japan. This one speaks to me in a language not of words, but of structure, tone, and pattern. Like I imagine the color beige would taste, the way I see this carpet is more of a feeling than a concise, crisp statement. Ok, I admit it kind of looks like a cross between an Ewok and a Dodge Ram’s hood – the more I stare I see other layers. What do you see? #HadtolookuphowtospellEwok #lotsofbrownsgoingonthere #littlesantaclausvibetoo #ifSantawasevil #ifitweresmilingitwouldntbesocreepy #unlessitwasaclown #theeyesarekindthough #imhungrynow #wantsomepeaches #peachesarenteviltheymakemehappy #peachescomeinacan #lovethishotel #greatstaff @marriotthotels @marriottrewards #loveallyall @jillisyoung

A post shared by Bill Young (@myhotelcarpet) on Dec 15, 2017 at 6:05am PST

http://ift.tt/2kTzGbi