#so I am vvvv happy

[steppedoffaflight]

what do you think of the Catfish comeback and the new song?

I was already willing to hear their comeback with an open mind, but I actually loveeee Showtime more than I honestly expected!!! The sound reminds me a lot of Postpone, which like duh because Sardy, but I’m also really impressed with Van’s vocals and runs in it! I love the direction they took with the production, but I’ve noticed from past albums that the sound of the singles can be pretty different from the rest of the album, so I know this might not be their “new” sound but I’m glad Van is experimenting with different styles. Short answer is this actually pulls me back into their clutches a lot and I’m reallyyyy excited for the album now.

[turnallthemirrors]

happy pride I would give anything to have taylor acknowledge that she spent a year running around in rainbows and talking about the equality act

[itoshi-s]

zari ! i haven't been following u for super long yet but i wanna say that still, i am always super delighted when i see u on my dash 🫶

aaaaaa hi esther !!! omg this made me smile sm </3 i'm v glad you're here !!!! let me welcome you properly with the biggest hug and a smooch ! >_<

[jhuzen]

Hey hey heyyy! new fave author that's you! i'm not really sure if you're taking requests but the ask box is open but you can just delete this if you arent :")

sooooooo bear with me but i need to heal with your angst fic. you write so well and i think you can pull this off because idk if its just me but sometimes the reader is giving off dom vibes. so again if you're comfortable may i pls request for a reader that just makes our tall genshin men feel smol? that's all pls and thank you <3

the shivers [gn/m.reader]

big-brained anon. i will call you primordial anon for being the first one! i was just about to finish the inazuma ver. of workload and i’m vvvv happy that i got this! yes, i will take requests, but i have yet to make some rules, but trust me this one, i can definitely do and hopefully do some justice. i’m not sure which tall genshin men you wanted, so i played it safe and called upon all of the playable tall men ;-; i hope whoever you’re looking for is in here. gn/m reader as always (also it’s cute that you think the reader radiates dom energy wwwww)

dark and suggestive content so please be warned ehe. dom reader with tall playable men ft. diluc, kaeya, childe, zhongli, ayato, thoma, itto, and alhaitham. also pls excuse my manners on alhaitham’s, yours truly lost the 50/50 and i am taking it out on him 😔

Alhaitham

Agony. Pure agony gnawed somewhere within Alhaitham’s unbelievably still human heart. It throbbed with want and ached for your attention, but you simply weren’t a mind reader (or maybe you were, but somehow magically, you suddenly couldn’t read his pain at the moment). His eyes narrowed as you conversed with the juniors that sought you out from left to right — you were an alumni in Akademiya of course, a popular one at that and as the professors sang your praises, the scholars couldn’t help but take chance.

You were far more approachable than the current scribe after all. It’s only logical that the students would flock you and that alone could barely get a rise out of him. However, this one calls for a special circumstance — an outlier, if you will.

And as his gaze burned at the sight, he still couldn’t fathom how you couldn’t feel his silent wanting, he’d even dare as to say he was brooding at this point, deprived of your attention that you often promised he has.

All because of a previous classmate of yours.

You felt it alright, the uncomfortable heavy feeling at the back of your head. And you’re wont to the realization that it may have been your dearly beloved Alhaitham, him and his impatience growing by the second. And you could feel the exasperation that brewed inside him, boiling like a dormant magma suddenly growing active, but there was a little devil on your shoulder, urging you to be a little bit more mean to him, and continued to talk to Tighnari.

Your companion wasn’t any dumber, in fact, he was the first one to feel the heated stare directed in your direction. And while he expressed his adamance in leaving to cease the Akademiya lunatic’s jealousy, the knowing mirth in your eyes asked him to stay a little longer. To aid you in your little game.

“You ought to pay attention to him,” the forest ranger laughed a little, feeling the tiniest bit of pity towards the infamous coolheaded scribe, now left at your mercy. Tighnari, being one of your best mates in your years in Akademiya also had to succumb into your ruthlessness. Truly, you and Alhaitham were a match made in abyss for putting up with each other’s antics. “I could already feel my spine crawling with dread.”

“Indulge me with just a few more minutes, my good friend. I did truly miss you after all — what with my work often moving and you barely coming in the city when I am home,” you laughed a little and Tighnari only shot you a disapproving look at your stalling.

“Come and visit then. If I remember right, you promised Collei some trinkets from your trip in Mondstadt.”

“Yeah, yeah.” You waved at Tighnari as the hybrid finally left your clutches with an equally mediocre enthusiasm. And finally, you spun on your heel, excusing yourself for awhile from the scholars who were most likely hoping to hold an audience with you.

You walked back to the secluded area, far from the prying eyes (though you didn’t mind if there were onlookers, a little humiliation is always fun). Alhaitham’s eyes were trained back on the book, though you figured his attention was miles away from the texts and still is fixated on your presence.

Sliding the books out of Alhaitham’s way, you finally sat on the table and gently grabbed his chin, a soft gaze from you was all it took for the man to melt. He subtly leaned into your touch and you relished in the fact as he breathed in the scent of cologne that you would always dab on your wrist, inhaling your scent like a drug, “You needn’t be so jealous, love. I’m always here and I could never betray your trust. To simply do so would be the death of me.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh? Is that so? I must be projecting then. Perhaps because of that one little girl that thought you were up for grabs.” Your words had Alhaitham immediately stiffening under your touch as he finally abandoned the book, hands grabbing onto your thighs so tightly — a silent apology that he somehow forgot.

But you yearned for a verbal apology, you wanted to hear the remorse in his voice even if you had to pull it out of him in sobs and soft moans. Alas, you were much too impatient as your hand on his chin shifted, now grasping his cheeks and squishing them together.

Through his forced puckered lips, he mumbled out a muffled apology, “M’s’rry…”

A laugh tore away from your throat, “I know you are.” You leaned down, pressing a kiss to those soft lips of his before dauntingly sticking out your tongue and giving a rather carnal lick afterwards, effectively wetting his lips.

Your vice grip in his cheeks was nothing against his quiet whimper of plea as you devoured his still puckered lips with your fervent licks and mildly aggressive nips, uncaring whether or not the skin of his lips broke and bled. And even then, Alhaitham was sure you absolutely enjoyed the taste of the metallic iron as long as it was his. And nothing could get him going more knowing that despite the toying you did with him, the way you seemed mean at times and absolutely refused to acknowledge him, you were wrapped around his finger.

A soft groan left your lips when he squeezed your thighs with much force — and while that could have been a cue for something else entirely, you had enough awareness not to take him there and then and opted to pull away with a conniving grin.

Quiet pants left Alhaitham’s lightly swollen lips, completely red and absolutely drenched in your saliva. You only gave him one more smile before reaching out to wipe away the drooling mess you’ve made on your beloved scribe.

“Thank you for that quick snack break. I ought to entertain more research questions. The Amurta scholars these days are so jovial! It gets my heart pumping to see their cute eager faces. I’ll see you later, love.”

And this time, Alhaitham let you go with little to no protest, feeling that he himself was also fulfilled for the moment.

𐂂

Ayato

Impatience flooded through Ayato’s system as he continued to keep up the facade in front of the other commissioners. He was far from an exquisite mood as he continued to listen to the ludicrous suggestions of his fellow politicians. He has seen children pitch better ideas on how to catch a tanuki when he walked the streets of Inazuma City with you a couple of days before.

And speaking of which, you were the love hidden behind closed doors. The darling jewel of the Kamisato clan — a nobleman from the faraway lands of your proud nation. Only Celestia knows how such an important figure such as yourself ended up in the doorstep of the Kamisato household. But only his sister and trusted keeper would know how a prolific man such as Ayato end up in your strong and caring arms.

The thought of you suddenly had Ayato feeling weak in the knees, doing who knows what — and he dreaded to see you lonely, and in desperate need of company. Ayaka was often out and about, handling the surface affairs, and Thoma was much too busy with the upkeep of the teashop when he’s not in duty as a housekeeper and your companion. He dreaded the thought of you emerging from the household and suddenly being seen by the rest without his approval — his secret love.

He bore through the absolutely god-awful meeting with the mere thought of you keeping him sane through this absolutely maddening (important) boredom.

While Ayato was preoccupied with unrestrained concern for your wellbeing, you weren’t all too bothered with being left in the deafening silence of the Kamisato household; as a matter of fact, you reveled in the tranquility your beloved’s home have offered you. You took care of everything like a good spouse, taking off some labor from Thoma and even learned a few hobbies you can teach Ayaka.

You were much too independent to be helpless. You liked to move and surprise people with the extent of your prowess. It was enticing to see their surprised reactions, throwing people off guard was a pastime you could never hope to give up.

Perhaps it was why you loved Ayato all the more. His reaction could never be beaten by any other person. Especially when it dawned on him that he too can be outsmarted and overpowered, to be underneath someone and to feel what it’s like to relinquish control. Not politically though, you could never take that from him. Otherwise, he’s all in your hands.

And none was all different when Ayato finally arrived home, a breathtaking yet cheeky smile plastered on his flawless face. His voice reverberated through the house as he entered, laced with eagerness as he stepped on the tatami floors as he made his way to where you are. And unsurprisingly, you were by the engawa, indulging the serenity of the place.

“Welcome home, lovely,” your voice already had him growing weak, almost missing a step as he sat behind you, arms already lacing around your sturdy shoulders. He inhaled your scent fresh and sweet, only fueling his intoxication. “How was work?”

“Long and tiring. I abhorred the time wasted not being with you,” you could feel Ayato‘s pout against the nape of your neck and laughed. You indulged him and his nuzzling against your skin, letting him go through all kinds of euphoria. You licked up every single attention he gave you and Ayato was no different as he continued to take advantage of what little control he has in this moment.

“It’s not all so bad. It‘s not like I’m going anywhere.” Your words quickly reeled Ayato in as desperation seeped through his veins — a desperation for you to make good on your promise and to never, ever break it. Hah. Like you were even foolish enough to do so. “I should hope that I can hold you on the same promise?”

Your tone made it out a suggestion but Ayato shivered at the thinly veiled threat — knowing that he can’t escape your grasp ever. That he’s shackled so lovingly within you; a promise of raw love that only you and him can enjoy and no one else. Of course, he wouldn’t have it any other way. He submitted into your touch as you turned around and swiftly pulled him into your lap.

“Absolutely ravishing,” Ayato’s breath hitched at your compliment. He’s heard people sing their praise to him in a hundred words, but all you had to do was speak and he’s already so, so weak, completely under your mercy. His hands made its way to your shoulders to gain some grounding, a footing in this world with all the haze your words injected into his mind.

Ayato’s smile was lazy, eyes half-lidded as he leaned in to steal a kiss you’ve been cruelly depriving him of since his arrival, and you were quick to reciprocate. He almost fell out of your lap when your hands gripped his hips tightly, oh so possessively, and he could only imagine the marks you’d leave if he wasn’t wearing his layered uniform at work.

Pulling away from the kiss, he left one more peck, “You’re doing my head in, y’know? Take some responsibility.”

You wouldn’t have been Ayato’s beloved if you did otherwise.

The wooden floorboards creaked as you shifted, rocking forward further with a hand on the back of Ayato’s head as you laid him down. Ayato had to stifle a quiet whine as your lips found themselves attached on his chin, considering that his clothes left so little room for an opening in his neck. He quivered as your lips moved further up, just on the side of his bottom lip where his beauty mark was. Archons, he’s never felt so defenseless as he did with you.

Alas, you were a tease and soon left him alone as you sat up, his legs immediately wrapping around your waist to pull you back in as he flashed you a sly grin, “What say we bless the stars tonight with a show?”

You scoffed with a smile, “No, thank you. I’d get jealous.”

The Yashiro commissioner was purring in delight.

𐂂

Diluc

Reluctance was a feeling that Diluc should have expected and prepared for, only for him to do the exact opposite of it. Instead, he was blindsided and only has himself to blame. Though, quite frankly, he’d rather have you take responsibility instead.

He was never one for conversations and actively avoided them as much as possible unless it was a talk about business. Diluc could never find himself engage into a mindless chatter, and often kept to himself. Though, granted he has the traveler to thank for keeping him company and prying him open at times, but other than that, his interactions with people are limited to the staff of his winery and the tavern, sometimes with Kaeya, and on certain nights when he’s bartending, he’d make the effort to speak to kick out a drunkard bard out of the tavern.

All of that however boiled down into nothing in comparison to the hurricane that was you. None of his experiences (if one could even call it that) could have prepared him for the situations that you would put him in. They were so unbearable, and often times it leaves him completely exasperated at your antics.

But even so, he’s willing to bear it all if it meant he could be with you. Diluc would go through the most compromising positions you would put him in if it meant he could gain even an inkling of approval from you. And it may just be his brain trying to comfort him, but he does feel significantly more lax in the company of others ever since you became a part of his peaceful life.

All of a sudden, he’s holding up better in mundane talks and people noticed. The patrons of his tavern were all flabbergasted to see that the air around Diluc has cleared and that it doesn’t feel like a chore to him to even talk to them. Even the traveler and their emergency food noticed that there was a different feel to Diluc upon their return to Mondstadt to fulfill some commissions. Adelinde could not be any prouder for her master as he indulged those small talks.

If only she knew why.

Case in point — Diluc has gotten better in socializing because of you. Only because anything seems far easier than being subjected into your shameless cruelty.

A quiet wail left the Darknight hero’s quivering lips as his back collided against the walls of your shared bedroom. The hurricane that ruthlessly terrorized his otherwise peaceful and dull life was you — relentless and absolutely merciless. All logic from his mind slowly went down the drain as you ruthlessly devoured him, like a lion forced into fasting feeding on a gazelle; you went in for the kill.

Your lips left no room in his neck as you enjoyed your feast. Much like that ridiculously gruesome analogy, you were just as deprived, forced into being a good partner for your beloved Diluc as he went on with a week filled with nothing but conducting business for the winery as well as doing his duties as the protector of Mondstadt while its occupants fall into a collective slumber.

Not like you were any better though — you were also just as busy, collecting research samples for your investigative partner, Albedo. And all of that resulted into missed quality times, as you were often away before Diluc could wake up and you were already asleep before he could come home. It was ridiculous.

But freedom was a theme that Mondstadt upheld and suddenly, there was free time. A sliver of chance where Diluc came home earlier and you went home a little later, only crossing paths on the way to the winery. And all that eventually led to your ferocious and undeterred expression of love.

Diluc could already see the glimmering stars as he tilted his head up to leave more room in his neck, eyes screwed shut to keep his mind off of the embarrassing position he’s in — held up against the wall by you, barely supported by anything but the wall behind him and your hands that gripped on his thighs when you lifted his legs up.

“Have you any idea how much I’ve longed for a chance to even breathe you in?” Your harmless growl against the skin of his neck was enough to send him into a spiral of embarrassment and pride. He never had much chance to feel someone’s incredible want for him until the day you came along and Diluc soon found that this was a feeling he could never let go of.

Alas, your question, rhetoric or not, was left unanswered when all of the experience he’s had in conversing with others left his pretty little mind. Just the feeling of your possessive hands grip onto his skin so tightly had him forgetting the every alphabet in Teyvat’s language. Short ragged breathing left Diluc’s lips and he finally opened his eyes when he felt you pull away, granting his neck to see the light.

Vicious and angry marks are bound to decorate his skin by the looks of it and he was no better than you — completely drowned in excitement and thrill.

You could see the wanton need in his eyes, now completely glossed over with a haze that looks all too familiar, you could even say that the feeling’s an old friend of yours — what with you being completely insatiable. That is until Diluc came into your peripherals and suddenly you had the urge to drag him where you are; and ever the pliant gentleman this man is, he quickly caved, only to realize just how ruthless you are.

Even so, it’s not completely unwelcome. Diluc’s mind muses as you dove back in, this time with an urge to leave him breathless for a much different reason.

𐂂

Itto

Excitement was not so much of a stranger in the company of Itto. He was always so exuberant, even to the point of it placing him in trouble under the Tenryou commission. And while the gang cheered him on (other than the reliable and trustworthy Shinobu), it still is, at the end of the day, nothing but trouble.

However, beyond that, the only thing that Itto could get consumed in excitement without getting in trouble are his ramblings about you. To say that he was your biggest fan would be an understatement, and just when people have started to think that no one could be prouder of Arataki Itto than himself, the moment your name leaves his mouth, no one else is escaping the plethora of praises he has for you.

You were his pride and joy and to be able to have you as his was nothing short of a miracle — well, not so much, considering that surely no one can resist Itto’s irresistible charms. And as he boasted about you and how you were all over him, people can only accept the fate they subjected themselves into. The usual victims of his rambling could just as easily ace a test that was all about you. People knew of the things you favored and the ones that didn’t, the things that can get you to stop doing what you are doing just to indulge yourself.

And you let them. You figured there was no harm done in Itto blabbing away who you are. Really, people knew you but you rarely ever showed yourself around them, being one of the work types in contrast to your partner’s easy going life. And besides, it was nothing short of amusing to see people’s faces when they finally catch a glimpse of the Itto’s priceless jewel that is you and you’d often hear people comment offhandedly about Itto’s words not even doing you justice.

You enjoyed those moments — the praises that you hear from left to right were welcomed with a captivating and grateful smile from yours.

But all that pales in comparison to the feeling you get when you praise your beloved, watching him completely fall apart in your arms as your honeyed whispers filled with promises of love and sin get him going.

“And then I managed to pick the biggest onikabuto! And when I got to duel I almost won!” Itto faltered a little as the realization dawned on him that it was yet another loss in his books. Fortunately, he quickly recovered, “N-Not that I didn’t lose because I suck! I let those kids have a taste of victory!”

“Hoh? Like before?” You entertained Itto’s whims as you continued to cut slices into the apples that his gang had managed to procure on their adventuring in the outskirts of Inazuma. “How generous. I could only hope to see the glee in those children’s eyes.”

Itto jumped up from his seat and headed over to you, arms snaking around your hips with his chin resting on your shoulder. You picked up a slice and fed it to the oni, who so gladly obliged your little act of service. In any case, someone could mistake the dynamics of your relationship with someone if they were to see just how docile you are and how well-behaved Itto seems to be.

But much like your job, you liked to work behind closed doors and you were far more appreciative with your own work when it’s only seen by your own eyes.

You swiftly turned around, still encased with Itto’s strong arms with an apple in hand. But such an innocent gesture can only be deciphered as deceiving, especially with the way your eyes glinted. It was dangerous and sharp, on the prowl like a hungry predator, and in this case, Itto was always subjected into the role of a prey. Still, with Itto’s lack of awareness, he can only give you a beaming smile, so filled with sweet innocence and… stupidity. Something you can appreciate more as this man’s sole corruptor.

“Just hearing you being such a nice oni to those children…” your voice shifted and even with Itto’s constant naïveté, he can hear the seductive danger behind your words. “You must’ve been a very good boy, huh?”

He quickly perked up, unable to resist your words. He almost felt his knees buckle — and he would’ve given out had you not been holding him up well. Wait, since when were you the one in charge? He was the one who had a grip on you earlier.

Without even so much of an effort, you spun him around, now the one trapped between the kitchen counter and your body. It must’ve been the Inazuman summer heat that suddenly set him ablaze — you flashed him a small smile that he could never recover from, so approving yet so domineering; all Itto could think about now is how he can draw out more praises from your sweet lips.

Lucky for him, you feeling relatively charitable that day. You brought up the apple slice against his lips, prying them open and watched with amusement as he opened his mouth willingly, obedient and pliant, like a dog. You leaned in, attaching your lips to the apple halfway through his bite and gazed at him, sultry and still so collected. Itto could only swallow dryly at the proximity and— oh, since when did you have such a vice grip on his bare waist?

Itto could feel himself squirm a little and look away, and you followed, not even letting him get a breathing room. You nudged the apple slice into his mouth still with that small smile that hid a lot of harmless malice, taking delight in the oni’s sudden subservience.

“What a good oni you are,” you repeated and Itto could do nothing but absorb every praise you’d give. “My good boy.”

He’s been such a good boy, right? Rarely any jail time for him. Surely you can reward him with something more palpable?

𐂂

Kaeya

Remorse was something Kaeya thought he would feel the moment he kisses his bachelor life goodbye. Admittedly, the situation with getting in a relationship with was a very rocky path he took on. It was a mess and even Kaeya could not smooth talk his way out of that kind of argument. It was an unhealthy push and pull, he wanted you so bad was much too terrified. He has other commitments and he has a mission to carry on his back.

But ever the benevolent person you are, you managed to put up with the highs and the lows of the infamous cavalry captain, letting him off to disappear for days only to come back in your arms, looking like a kicked puppy. Somehow you knew that even with his emotional availability, his constant flirting with others, you knew that even without the promise of his commitment, he would always, always come back to you.

And each time, you would receive him happily in your arms.

The moment that finally, Kaeya was somehow able to comfort or gaslight himself into thinking that a commitment to the real thing was miles better than him having to spend time with strangers, pretending that it was you underneath him. And boy was it a treat.

What Kaeya thought would be something he would entirely regret, turned into something far better (or worse) for him. You were the epitome of the alcohol he would spend mora on, the intoxicating heat that gets him all too feverish. You kept up with him like you did back when he would push and pull against you. His teasings quickly shut down by your quick mouth and sharp wit.

But he didn’t expect the way you were instantly able to subvert his expectations the night he decided to finally bed you. You took him with the dominance that he was sure rifthounds would cower from and he had to risk a day of being late in his position for the very first time in his otherwise clean career.

Within the few months, you’ve managed to embed yourself into his life like a poison, further dragging him down into something he can only see getting close to what seems to be an obsession. He was, by all means, addicted to your touch, the way you leave him breathless, and the way that absolutely no one knows the things you can do behind that innocent smile. Because you were a homemaker, the kind of person parents would recommend their sons and daughters to get married to.

It really was always the quiet ones.

However, you did not come without any risk. Kaeya was an important figure in Mondstadt, and more or less, he worried about your safety. Though it was not the usual safety issues that he has to deal with. Homemaker or not, he knew you can hold on your own with your vision. Though it was more on the fact that he had to keep the relationship a secret that you were in danger — as far as everyone was concerned, you were not taken.

And people sure did show their interest the moment you headed out to the tavern. He was supposed to have a quiet drink with you and enjoy your presence outside your lovely home for once.

“Oh, you absolute charmer!” One of the women by your side laughed loudly. She gave you a playful shove, and as someone who has been the one to receive and give such a tactic, Kaeya already knew her intentions with you. “It’s honestly a miracle of sorts that you’re still unwed!”

Kaeya had to intervene before any of the you-deprived people made a move. He entered the space and everyone parted out of respect. You only gave him a beaming smile that left him invigorated, “Ah! Captain Kaeya! What an honor!”

“Hoho~ the fabled Mondstadt’s homemaker heading out for drinks? How fascinating. Care to have a drink with me? I have much to ask of you.” It was a silent plea behind his words, and you weren’t always so mean to him hence your obedience, letting him lead you up into the far less populated second floor.

“Have you learned that there’s a way to see how well someone can kiss?” You were quick to bring up and Kaeya just had to know. He pulled you in by the waist, knowing that he’s safe from the prying eyes (and even if there were, he wouldn’t mind them seeing).

“Oh is that so? Pray tell what that might be, hm?”

“Apparently if you can tie a cherry step into a knot, it means that you’re an expert at it! And,” you paused, a hand digging into your pocket as you showed Kaeya what seems to be knotted stem, “Looks like I passed the test?”

Kaeya and his teasing nature couldn’t help but prod further, “Hoh? But shouldn’t I be the judge of that? Not some stem. Matter of fact, did you just do that to prove yourself… or to impress others?”

A mischievous mirth lit up in your eyes that usually gleamed of innocence and Kaeya was over the moon at hitting the jackpot. You wasted no second as you bent down, one knee already pressing up against his lower region and he had to stifle a quiet groan at the sensation. Truly, the grip you had in him was absolutely maddening.

With a grin, you tilted his head up, adoring the way his eye closed in anticipation. And to his surprise, he could only feel something rub up against his closed eye, as you gave it a generous lick, like a dog oh so happy to see his owner. But Kaeya had to wonder… just who was the owner in this relationship… surely even with the way you’re acting you would know…

You gave him a peck on the lips and Kaeya almost lost it when he could smell his favorite wine on you, “I may have to control myself for now, dearest. While it thrills me so, I believe you have a reputation to uphold.”

Kaeya could care less now, with eyes clouded with lust, he could only tug into your trousers with a lazy smirk, “Are you certain about that?”

The look in your hungry eyes said no.

𐂂

Tartaglia

Cruel — other than his loving family back in Snezhnaya, that was what people would initially regard him as if they were to know of his status as the eleventh harbinger of the Fatui. Should people look past his boyish charms and friendly smile, they would’ve known how utterly devious Childe could be. And that was something he took pride on, he loved the fear he instilled in his enemies and his time down in abyss only further exacerbated the carnal urge to come out on top.

He has his reasons though — considering that he was the youngest among the lineup of the Tsarita’s harbingers. He has to prove his spot, and if being merciless was the way to go through it all, then he would gladly do so with little to no complaints.

Alas, he was a competitive fellow too. Almost everything is a challenge to him; one he would take on with gusto and flawlessness; essentially what his trademark is meant to be. But even he was sure that he could not compare to the likes of you.

Especially in cruelty.

His very endeared partner, you, hailing from nowhere, you suddenly became a sought after figure under the Cryo Archon’s kingdom. Admiration could not even come close to Childe’s feelings whenever you would grant him a few seconds of your time to show up. But now that he has you as his beloved sweetheart, none could pry him away from you. And admittedly, he even became far more hesitant in heeding the Tsarita’s orders should he be parted from you on missions.

He says you’re his sweetheart, but even Childe knows better. It was you who turned him into a subservient sweetheart, pliant and soft under your mean gaze, almost begging to be around you for even just one second. And you were sure that he’d have gone mad in ecstasy if you starved him with only your blood to offer for his sustenance. Hence the ecstatic look on your beloved harbinger was nothing short of adorable when the Tsarita had let you accompany him to Liyue.

However, your cruelty knows no bounds; and Childe learned that the hard way.

Or perhaps, he was still learning as he watched you completely ignore him since your arrival in Liyue, opting to dote on his subordinates instead, which greatly infuriated him beyond reason. You promised! You promised that only he could have your attention within your stay, and that you would make up for the time he headed back home only to hear that you were in Fontaine, holding an audience with the Chief Justice of the nation. But you weren’t making good on it in the slightest bit.

If only he knew that your cruelty was a process to be had. That your cruelty in itself was a form of sickening kindness, a way for him to need you more, to realize that he can’t have it any better after you… not like there was ever a need to convince him anyway.

And as the night finally fell, a moody Childe faced you as soon as you returned home from your little outing with the Liyue Qixing (whom you’ve made a promise to have a deal with in the near future). There was a cute pout in his lovely face and you couldn’t help but huff out a laugh in amusement, watching his normally blank eyes emit such ferocious jealousy.

“Careful dear, any more of that and you’ll be having wrinkles.” Your laugh was quick to pull him out of his brooding, finding it hard to stay mad now that finally, you were talking to him.

Childe felt like a child deprived of any form of love as he made a mad dash towards you who barely left the doorway and engulfed you in a hug, tight and absolutely refused to let go. If he were only more aware, he would’ve seen the pleased devious smile on your face before prying him away from you, resorting into a disapproving frown from your partner.

“You owe me this much, y’know? You—” Not even before he could make his proper argument, Childe already found himself getting pulled back in, a grip around his waist with one arm while the other caressed his cheek.

“I owe you?” Your mirthless laugh sends shivers down his spine and as your gloved hands linger down from his cheek down to the skin of his neck, Childe could only whimper in a poorly concealed excitement. “Dear, I owe you absolutely nothing.” You spat and the harbinger took it with open arms.

He was quick to be reduced into a speechless man as your eyes switched from something loving to something far more dangerous and addicting. Childe could feel himself stiffen in anticipation as your fingers lingered around his neck, tracing his Adam’s apple with a thinly veiled threat.

“I owe you nothing, you lowly harbinger. In fact, I’d like to raise a complaint, yes?” His throat bobbed at your cruel look. “The one night we spent on the ship, it was in rather poor taste. Matter of fact, I despised it. You performed so poorly, I had to finish myself off with someone else.”

It was a lie you both knew, but the thought of you with someone else already had Childe gripping against the lapels of your suit, in complete desperation to prove himself once more. “N-No, wait, I can…”

Your sneer was thrilling as it was arousing for Childe, and the mere thought that this would be the determinant of his life with you that was hanging by a thread was enough to get him going. Childe wasted no time to press up against you, in need to do better than his less than stellar performance.

Your lips ghosted over his trembling ones with a smirk. You absolutely loved your little harbinger.

𐂂

Thoma

Guilt flooded through Thoma’s heart as set his course on breaking another poor hopeful maiden’s heart. By all means, Thoma may be unassuming, but it was something already disproven by the many confessions he would receive on the daily. He was Inazuma’s fixer, and was quite popular around neighborhood, not only as the trusted keeper of the renonwed Kamisato siblings, but also as the reliable man that anyone could go to.

And who was anyone to argue? He really did know how to aid people, so much so that the prettiest maidens ought to take him for themselves, finding his abilities endearing, and that while he was no Kamisato, he still is one of the most attractive men in the nation. Often times he does find himself to be the butt of teasing from Ayato and the pitiful smiles that Ayaka would give him.

While one would think it shouldn’t even be that big of a deal, it was more of the fact that there was an existing reason for all of this turmoil. And that just happened to be his dearly beloved fiancé, you. Alas, Thoma never had the guts to tell most people about the love that you and him shared, but rest assured he was not trying to hide you. It’s more of the prejudiced notion of him being a mere housekeeper suddenly about to get married to an important figure like you in Teyvat.

People were conservative in their views, and rarely do they find it amusing when someone of high status hopes to get married to someone who is beneath them.

Thoma hated it so, but he was doing this more for you. He has heard of the extremes Ayato has to go through to keep the Kamisato name alive. And while you haven’t experienced the same thing, Thoma wasn’t going to be the first reason for you to suffer the same fate as his boss — hence his resignation to absolute secrecy.

You, however, did not mind. Sure, you were placed on a pedestal just because of your influence stretching across all nations, but even a small uproar about your marriage to Thoma was nothing in comparison to your gigantic business, in fact, your underground organization can quash any hushed whispers from every corner of this world. But you respected Thoma’s effort and found them quite endearing, him going through all those lengths just for your sake. Nothing could get you going more than an honest and loyal man like him.

What you didn’t appreciate however, was the scene before. You’ve officially arrived back home in Inazuma, dressed in your finest robes as you were hoping to surprise your beloved fiancé — only to be greeted with a less than pleasant sight of a woman nearly convulsing in embarrassment as she spilled her heart out to who was meant to be yours.

Thoma had to learn the hard way. You ought to teach him a lesson. And that was certainly a promise you would make good on.

Thoma’s house was nothing short of comfortable and cozy, far more humble than the grand castle that awaits him as soon as he marries you. And while the luxury it brought was absolutely divine, Thoma could only argue that his home is where you are. It didn’t matter where, as long as you were in it, Thoma can live in peace.

And nothing could justify the absolute happiness in Thoma’s once he saw you by the stove, cooking something. You… you were here! With him again! His home has finally returned.

Oh if only knew just how much guilt would pool in his little heart once you get on with the punishment.

Tiny gasps escaped from Thoma’s lips, quiet murmurs of pleas for you to slow down, to let him breathe and ask why the sudden aggression. He had never expected you to be so rough. Your presence could be intimidating (even to him in your first meet), but you were far more gentle than this beastly rendition of yourself.

Despite his begging, you heeded so little of his words and pursued even harder, fingers intertwining on the chain of his dog tag, where his engagement ring was. No wonder that woman didn’t take a hint.

“P-Please, dear— let me—!”

“Was this some kind of joke?” Thoma should be scared, he knows, but the way your lips pulled into a mean snarl had him squirming in a far more pleasurable way. He shrank under your gaze as you tugged into the ring. “You are my fiancé — and I was just about ready to forgive you for even entertaining that scag when I realized your ring wasn’t on your finger.”

Thoma’s eyes widened at your words. Never have you expressed such distaste and jealousy towards him before, sure, you were territorial, but at the very least you were not an unreasonably jealous partner. It only served as a surprise when he realized that he was barely fighting this side of you, finding himself pressing further into you, to appease you.

The sigh of disappointment that left your system was the straw that broke the camel’s back as he quickly threw his arms around your neck, pulling you close as he murmured his apologies. He couldn’t bear to see you like this and to see you so disappointed in him… he might as well leave this plane of existence.

However, you quickly dismissed his apologies, “Let me make it up to you dear,” you muttered against his neck, already ready to nip at his creamy skin. “I’ll make sure no one ever makes the mistake of approaching you ever.”

Needless to say, the angry bright red marks on his neck never left under your surveillance and vigorous reapplication until Thoma drills the fact that he was yours into his head for good.

𐂂

Zhongli

Submission is a concept that Zhongli as Morax could never hope to entertain. He was the domineering figure in Liyue, being its god and everything. His position towered over his fellow adepti and ruled over every being that stepped in his nation with an iron fist. Zhongli would even go as far as to admitting that he was a brute at times, resorting into bouts of possessiveness over what was his. Only that, he can blame on his dragon characteristics.

However among all the people that hailed him up until his death, there was one that he just couldn’t particularly figure out. That thing being you — a puzzle piece that he couldn’t figure out. You were the physical embodiment of the rock that trips any unfortunate mortal in their path.

There was just something with the way you held yourself with your decadent nature that was sure to allure people from left to right. You carried yourself so lightly with an air of innocence yet every move you made was no doubt calculated, precise, and hypnotically seductive, luring him in like a sweet poison.

And as the years went by, he had worked tirelessly to close the gap that you yourself have made him aware of. He found it utterly laughable — the fact that he, the one who lords over everyone, making a conscious effort to get close to you. In fact, he was even sure it was you that compelled him to do so, forcing him into your space like a vortex that only has the intention of drawing him in and swallowing him whole.

Truly, Morax was worth his salt — considering that he was correct about his assumptions.

Zhongli sat with you in the comfort of his favored restaurant, opening his eyes after relishing in the tea that was served only to see your unabashed staring. He lightly bristled, surprised at your undivided attention. Even with the times you and him have spent together, nothing could best that gaze of yours — something that Zhongli felt proud in holding the distinction of having. No one has ever seen you look at someone like the way you looked at him, and it was something that the former Geo Archon took pride in.

“Something on your mind, darling?” He asked, hoping to pry open those chaotic thoughts of yours.

Still with that cloying smile of yours that he so loved to look at you, reached a hand to thumb at the corner of his lips, “Just you.” You laughed as you felt him stiffen under your touch. Zhongli truly was a treat for you to indulge and one you can never let go of.

He was your precious little dragon, unknowingly obsessive and possessive and so painfully subservient under your touch. You so loved to toy with him most of the time, but even then, you couldn’t erase the fact that he has you wrapped around him just as much he does to you.

Zhongli could feel his breath hitch as your gentle hands slowly pried his mouth open, and he, without question abided. You were still an enigma to him, still completely unaware of how much you’ve trapped him within your hold, with no hopes of escaping (not like he has wanted to). And as your fingertips brushed against his soft lips, he was much too distracted when a carnal desire glinted through your eyes.

The former god had to thank the bustling busybodies of Liyue harbor for covering up the absolute debauchery you had subjected yourself and him into — by the small gap between shops, dark enough from the shadow in between, you had pushed Zhongli into it with a look of desire on your face.

It must’ve been because he sought you out and that he was used to being the one who has to keep up with you, but there was something so delicious in the way he always craved for your touch. You weren’t even so scarce with it either, as every time he demanded, you obliged. Oh how foolish he was to think that he was the one with control — unable to realize the mere fact that with every touch that leaves him breathless is a poison the continues to corrupt him from the inside out.

Suddenly, every touch of yours was not enough — that he needed so much more, and all of it can be proven with the way Zhongli had desperately pulled you into him. He was filled to the brim with the need and want and you did not withhold any of it.

He was left gasping as you fondled him through his work clothes, lips attached to his neck that left one too many marks.

“Darling, please…” his pleas came out in a form of a breathy whimper and you had to be cruel.

“Oh? Look at you, so absolutely ruined, my lord.” Your jabs went straight the heat that pooled into his stomach, suddenly taken aback by your sudden coyness. It was taking him back to all those centuries that past when you and him were young and stupid.

Zhongli gripped onto your shoulders, uncaring whether or not he too had wrinkled your suit. A pleading look flashed through his eyes, much to your elation. But you continued to toy with him, somehow after being spoiled rotten, even the wisest consultant of Liyue could not resist the feeling of impatience that painfully ate away at him.

“How do you think your other adepti friends would say at the sight of their dear old Morax… so pitifully in need of his beloved’s touch?” Your words sent shivers down to his spine. You just took away his demands for your touch and now you’re depriving him of the praises you would sing to him so sweetly every time? How cruel!

A whimper escaped from his trembling lips, “It’s not… it’s not pitiful…” He tries to fight and justify but even then he knew it was a futile attempt.

Your hands that gripped his waist tightened and he fought the urge to grant you that sweet delectable sound of pleasure out of revenge, “I find that very hard to believe.” You weren’t even trying as you drew out what you wanted from him with one more forceful squeeze against his supple flesh.

His head quickly fell into your shoulder and you can slowly see the disappearance of the feared warrior god as Zhongli begged for your touch, “Please… don’t deprive me of this… you’re all I need and have…”

A huff of amusement left your system as you tipped his head up by the chin, you leaned in, giving him one tiny peck that elicited yet another soft whine and licked his lips, watching them glisten with your saliva.

“Right you are dear… I’m all you have and that’s all you’ll ever need.”

[dangermousie]

His explanation as for why they showed up together is honestly so funny. Because she kept saying she owed him a warhorse so he took her to a market to buy one ahahah.

I am dying.

This is honestly funnier and funnier. He just wants to date in peace, OK?

Honestly, even second prince is amused.

Her conclusion as to why she ended up with a mule is KILLING ME!!!! She is all "he must have been sheltered, they say he was in the army but we all know it was for show only."

But what strikes me is, kooky as this is, it is genuinely kind. And it is echoing in what he tells the meal guests - he is also being kind.

If they weren't who they were, they could be vvvv happy.

[royaltozaki]

could you love me while i hate myself?

synopsis: y/n, nayeon, momo, and sana are in a polyamorous relationship. momo walks in on y/n self-harming for the first time in 7 months. they all try and talk and work through this together.

warnings: we got depression, suicidal ideation, self-harm (cutting), blood, sexual references, cursing - also this is poly!namosa if ur not into that but i love getting comfort from everyone i love so

w/c: 6.9k

a/n: sooo i wrote this in a day bcs im utilising my #depression as inspiration and lwk we love writing as a coping mechanism - i’m so fine tho i just need my meds to start working again LMAO and they will vvvv soon trust - but in the meantime i can pump out the sad stuff hehe! lwk forgot abt boo and dobby until like halfway thru writing this IM SO SORRY #fakefan and i wasn't bothered to write them back in so they js don't exist here oops!

⸸

fuck. fuck fuck fuck. the thoughts were coming. you wake up hazily, dream forgotten, arms wrapped around nayeon, legs entangled with the three people you loved most in the world. you don't deserve them. shut up!

you shut your eyes, trying to will away the thoughts. they were always there, always in the back of your head, always nagging, telling you that you didn't deserve to live, that you were a worthless piece of flesh born only to cause others suffering, or born with no purpose at all. there's no point to it all. just die. they'd be better off without you. they'd be happier without you.

you feel tears prick the corners of your eyes. it was so loud. you needed them to be quiet. to return to the depths of your mind. you curl in closer to nayeon, trying to breathe in the scent of her to distract you, feeling sana's breath on your hand, listening to momo's soft snores, they were the only thing grounding you. they pity you. that's why they've stuck around for so long. they know if they left you you'd break. they don't love you. it's pity. they'd be happier together. just the three of them. they didn't need you. you needed them. you were a burden to them. you need to leave so they can be happy. you want the best for them don't you? SHUT UP.

you couldn't take it anymore, you slowly unwrap yourself from your girlfriends. slipping your arms from around nayeon's waist and pulling your legs away from the mess of limbs. you look back at them, sleeping peacefully, watch their chests rise up and down with each breath, it's bittersweet. you had so much love for them. you turn around again and slip out the door, closing it softly behind you.

you pad softly towards the bathroom, entering it quietly and sighing, looking at yourself in the mirror. dark circles under red eyes, messy hair, disgusting. look at you. how could anyone love you? the thoughts were louder in the bathroom. almost echoing off crisp white walls. your grip on the sink tightens, you tear your gaze away from the mirror, letting your tears fall into the sink silently. why did i have be born like this? born like this? honey you're not different. everyone else is able to cope fine with trauma, with all the shit that happens in the world. you're just weak. weak, crying little bitch who can't deal with a couple sad emotions. don't think you're special. you're not. why can't i feel normal? you're not normal. you never will be. you'll always be that weird kid on the playground that no one wants to play with. grow up and get used to it already. why won't you leave me alone? i can't leave you alone. i am you. you are me. we're stuck together.

your head's splitting, you don't even realise you're crouched in on yourself now. hands gripping your head, nails digging into your scalp, anything to try and stop thinking. you wish you could just go back to sleep. sleep was easy. you didn't have to think when you were asleep.

that's right. sleep. sleep forever. run away from your problems. that's all you'll ever be good at right? running away. you ran away from your parents when they found out you were dating not one, not two, but three girls! whore! you left your brother and sister with them. they probably got the brunt of their anger. or maybe not. maybe they hate you too for being a fucking disappointment. it doesn't matter. they don't care about you. you left them. now leave your girlfriends. it'll be easier. leave. leave. run. do it.

your lip is trapped between your teeth. you're biting down so hard it draws blood. you're rocking yourself on the floor of the bathroom. pathetic. all you do is cry. grow up already. you can't take it. it was too much. you needed- needed-

you're reaching for the loose tile you know is second from the towel rack, opening it and finding your stash of emergency goods. you had meant to throw it away you just kept avoiding it and now... well you needed it now.

you take out a scalpel, go into the old routine of cleaning it down with an alcohol wipe, the motions that are familiar to you helping you drown out the thoughts already. they're still there though. they were always there. you'd be lonely without us wouldn't you? you actually enjoy being mentally ill don't you? take some sort of sick pleasure in it? is it comforting? it's easy to fall back into old habits isn't it?

once it's clean, you can see clearly again. you remove your pants, spreading your legs and look down at the scars that decorate the insides of your thighs. you take a breath, clearing your head as best you can, and bring the tip of the scalpel to start a new line.

the immediate relief when the blade enters your skin and you watch the scarlet liquid pour out of you is incredible. you're like an addict, drinking in the pain and using it to clear your mind. suddenly, the only sound you hear is the quiet of the bathroom and your own shallow breathing. you've never felt more at peace.

but it's only temporary. like everything is only temporary. seriously? this again? is this the best you can do to try and get rid of me? we talked about this you idiot. you're never getting rid of me. because we're the same. you just made yourself even uglier. congrats. good luck getting your girlfriends to ever touch you again after they see those.

fucking hell. you can't help it when your hands move to the start again, just under the new line you've created. you're about to push in again when you hear a gasp.

you look up in alarm, bloody scalpel in your hand, fresh cut on your thigh.

"m-momo."

"y/n- what-"

"it's not what it looks like i swear- fuck- oh my god- mo- please-" you're scrambling, trying to pull up your pants and cover yourself, dropping the scalpel onto the floor with a clang.

she's on you in seconds.

"no no sweetie it's okay i'm not- it's okay it's okay-" she's pulling you into a hug, and you start sobbing.

you're burrowing your head into her neck, sniffling and crying, she wasn't meant to find out. they were never meant to find out. now you've done it. good luck keeping them now. no way they're going to stay with you after this. better breathe her in while you can because she won't be yours in the morning.

you're squeezing her tight, crying and blabbering into her and she lets you. hushing and brushing through your hair, pressing light kisses along your forehead.

when she starts to pull away you panic, shaking your head against her, terrified she's leaving you and this is it.

"no sweetie i'm not going anywhere. i promise. we just gotta clean you up okay?"

she pulls away from you gently, opening the cabinets next to the sink to grab the first aid kit and comes down to sit next to you.

you're sobs have ceded but you can't bear to look at her, staring down at the ugly scars on your legs.

"can i?" momo makes a gesture towards your legs and you shrug, moving closer to her so she can work.

she's quiet when she cleans the wound, focused.

you idiot you stupid fucking idiot. she hates you she thinks you're so gross and-

"do the others know?"

you don't trust your voice to speak so you shake your head.

"is this why you never let us touch you?"

you blush bright red, gripping the bottom of your shirt.

"you know we wouldn't have judged right?"

the tears are coming back, you feel them building up in your neck again, clogging it up, choking you.

"i'm sorry if we made you feel like we would have." momo's voice breaks then, and you look up. momo wasn't one to cry. sana tended to be the more emotional one, nayeon and momo cried too, just less often and definitely more private, momo just took a little longer to come to conclusions sometimes.

"y-you didn't." your voice is croaky when you speak up.

she sniffles a little, finishing cleaning and grabbing the bandages.

"a-are you mad?"

she sighs. "not mad. just... confused."

"i-i- i'm sorry. i'm sorry i didn't tell you guys i didn't- i thought you would think- i thought you might leave or think i'm too much or i don't know i-"

she finishes wrapping the bandage around your thighs, looking up at you then, her eyes shiny. "i could never leave you y/n. i love you. all of you. you, nayeon, and sana are my family."

you're crying again now, hands coming up to wipe at your tears. she gently helps you put your pants back on then pulls you into another hug, breathing shakily as she lets herself cry as well.

you cling onto her shirt, the confirmation that she was still here and she still loved you grounded you.

you both sit on the bathroom floor there, tightly wound around each other. you memorise the way her breathing comes in and out, focusing on the little hiccups, every single movement. it was quiet.

she pulls away from you, hands coming up to cup your cheeks, thumbs swiping along them. "do you want to talk about it?"

you shake your head.

"do you want to come back to bed then?"

you think a little, "i might sleep in the guest room tonight. i don't really... it's not that i don't want to sleep with you guys, i just-"

"is it okay if i join you in the guest room then?"

you look surprised, "why?"

"it's okay if you don't want me to. i just want to be with you if that's okay. to make sure you're safe for one, but also just because..." she sniffs, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear gently, "i love you and i want to make sure you sleep well."

the tears well up again. "of course. it's not you i just- i don't want sana and nayeon to find out like this."

momo nods, pressing a gentle kiss onto your nose, "i understand. do you want anything before bed? water? a snack?"

you smile tiredly against her, still in a sort of disbelief she was still here. "i'm okay. let's go to bed."

momo nods again, standing up and pulling you with her, but she stops again suddenly, looking down, "does it hurt?"

you wince, "not really. i mean the point is kinda for it to hurt." your eyes widen when momo frowns, "but it doesn't! not anymore i mean. i kinda got used to it." her frown deepens, "i mean no not like that! like- well yes- but-"

"it's okay y/n. i want to know these things. if you're okay with sharing them." she's sincere when she looks at you, and then she's pulling you along towards the guest room. your heart drops a little when you pass by the master bedroom, thinking of nayeon and sana sleeping peacefully inside, wrapped around each other blissfully unaware, but momo squeezes your hand and you look back towards her, following her into the guest room.

she turns on the lamp light and starts removing all the extra pillows and everything that were only really there for decoration. once she's done, she starts ushering you into bed and you laugh a little at her earnestness, "you don't have to treat me any different momo. i'm still the same person."

she frowns, climbing into bed after you, "i just found out about a massive part of your life that you've been hiding from us. you're not the same person to me. not when i've only known half of you."

you still at that, unable to look her in the eye as she fumbles around with the blanket, covering both of you and then sliding an arm over your side.

"i'm sorry." you whisper once she's turned off the light and snuggled in close to you.

she takes a breath, "you don’t have to be sorry. i'm here now. i'm sorry it took me so long. but i'm here now. and i'm not leaving."

"even if i'm not the same person to you anymore?"

she finds your eyes in the darkness, "y/n i didn't mean it like that. i fell in love with half of you. i just found out there's another half that i can also love now. you're the same person, you just have more to you than we knew. and i want to know more about that so i can be a better girlfriend for you."

"you already are a great girlfriend."

she sighs, a hand trailing down your back, drawing random shapes, you curl in closer to her.

"i wanted to throw it all away. i wanted to tell you all. i just-"

she hums, letting you think out your words, continuing to trace patterns into your back, eyes locked on yours.

"it was hard. and i didn't think i'd need to say anything because i was doing good. i hadn't done it in so long. i don't know why today i just- i lost control again."

"y'know nayeon would say just because you haven't done it in so long doesn't mean you were better. it just means you stopped thinking about it but that didn't get rid of the problem. which is why eventually the problem came back."

you smile at her, poking her cheek, "you've been hanging out too much with nayeon."

momo whines, "we're girlfriends! of course i hang out with her!"

"you're right though. i'm sorry. i stopped cutting when we all started dating. i think i got swept up in all the excitement and the love but once the novelty wore off and i grew more comfortable with being in a relationship with all of you, some of the bad thoughts started to come back."

"what sort of bad thoughts?"

"...like that i'm not good enough for you- or that the three of you would be happier without me, or that i don't want to... that i didn’t deserve to live or that it’d be better if i wasn’t- y’know… alive-"

you can see the shine in momo's eyes and feel your own start to well up again while you talk. she lets you speak though, just lays there, stroking your back softly while listening to you.

when you're finished its quiet save for the occasional sniffle from either of you.

"do you still think that? that you're not good enough for us?"

you hum contemplating whether to be honest or to try not to hurt her, you decide you’ve hurt her enough and it was time to be honest, she was still here after all, she wasn’t going to leave you, "...yeah."

she's pressing her lips gently against yours, barely there, almost as if she's asking permission, and you press against her softly back to say yes. you can taste the salt of her tears in the kiss, its short, reassuring. you break away with a tender smile.

"i can't speak for the others. but i don't think we could work if we weren't the four of us. you know that sana and i tried to date when we were younger right? and it didn't work out? because we always felt like there was something missing. but once we all got together, it feels right to love each other like this. i think it'd be the same if you left. i think it'd feel like something was missing and i wouldn't be able to stay either. i'm not saying that to pressure you into staying like a 'if you leave i leave' kinda thing. i'm just saying that you are needed in this relationship and i don't think we would be happier without you, i don't even think we'd work without you, without any one of us."

god you didn't deserve her. you loved her so much.

"and the other stuff... we don't have to talk about that now but... if you're open to it in the future, i want to help you find some outside help if that's okay? you don't have to answer me now, just think about it, because i want to help, but i don't think we can do this alone."

you nod, lips quivering while she smiles at you, noses touching.

"thank you momo."

"of course sweetie. i love you."

"i love you too. so much."

she pecks you again, then places your hand over her chest, and you can feel the calm thumps of her heart.

she closes her eyes, lips only centimetres apart, you follow her lead, focusing on the feeling of her heartbeat rather than the thoughts, letting that fill your head, and slowly, you drift back into sleep.

⸸

you wake up with a dull sting on the inside of your thighs. you curse internally when you realise that it was because you had self-harmed for the first time in months. but then you feel a familiar hand tracing lines down your back, and the smell of soft peaches and you recall that momo had found you cutting yourself. but the way she's tracing your back means she's still here and she hasn't left and that you're still okay.

momo realises you're awake, moving her hand to your hair and brushing the pieces that have fallen over your face. "hi sweetie."

"mm morning. what time is it?"

she giggles a little, "its 5pm actually. i didn't want to wake you. nayeon and sana should be back home soon."

you startle, "what?! 5pm?! where did they go? did they-"

"shh shh no it's okay. i woke up early and made everyone breakfast. when they came in they asked where you were. i told them you slept in the guest bedroom because you weren't feeling well. they wanted to see you but i told them to let you rest. i don't think you should hide this from them for much longer though y/n."

you sigh, relaxing back into her embrace, "i know. i'll tell them when they get back." you can feel the anxiety beginning to chip away at you as soon as the words leave your mouth. you'd thought about it before in the past, about how they'd react. on the worst end of the spectrum, they'd leave you, thankfully momo hasn't done that yet. and realistically you don't think nayeon and sana will either. but there was always that fear in the back of your head. it was more likely that sana would feel hurt and start crying and nayeon would get angry that you didn't trust them with the information. both of which you didn't really want to deal with because you didn't want to cause any of them any negative emotions. but if you didn't tell them, it would mean forcing momo to keep a secret for you and have her constantly go around on tip-toes while worrying over you. it wouldn't be fair and you’d essentially be self-sabotaging your own relationship.

momo breaks you out of your thoughts when she uses her hand to rap lightly against your forehead, "what's going on in there sweetie?"

you shake her off giggling and she smiles, "nothing i'm just thinking about how to tell them is all."

"do you want me to be there?"

you look up at her, her eyes are sincere and caring, you could stare into them for the rest of your life, "yes please, if that's okay with you."

momo squeezes you against her even tighter, planting a kiss on your forehead and murmuring against it, "of course it's okay with me. i'd love to be there."

you smile against her, reminded of your eternal gratefulness and love you have for her, before your stomach starts to growl and you pull away embarrassed while momo starts to laugh that adorable, contagious laugh of hers.

you whine, climbing out of bed as she toddles along behind you, still laughing when you enter the bathroom.

you pick up your toothbrush and start to brush your teeth when you notice that the bathroom's been cleaned up since last night. there's no more blood on the floor and you look briefly over at momo who's standing on that tile looking at you carefully, the hint of a laugh still on her face.

"youscdonthaftawatchmeyknow."

she giggles when some toothpaste dribbles out of your mouth, tilting her head indicating she didn't catch what you said.

you spit out the toothpaste and repeat yourself, "you don't have to watch me y'know."

"i know."

you squeeze some of your facial wash into your hand, staring at her in the mirror when she doesn't move, still looking at your reflection with a gentle smile.

you shrug, closing your eyes and beginning to wash your face. you go through all the motions of your morning routine, and when you finish up and turn around to wipe your hands on the hand towel, she's still standing there watching you.

you clear your throat, leaving the bathroom and moving towards the kitchen. you hear her footsteps padding along behind you.

she overtakes you once you reach the kitchen, going towards the fridge and pulling out a few things. you sit at the kitchen benchtop and watch her reheat a few dishes that she must have made for breakfast and lunch.

"where did nayeon and sana go?"

"to the shops. we were meant to go check out that new bakery together in the city but i figured may as well let you rest, we can go another day."

"oh crap i'm so sorry i forgot! i would've woken up i'm so sorry-"

"it's okay sweetie don't worry. they were both fine to reschedule, they were more concerned about you than missing out on the bakery."

"why didn't you go out shopping with them?"

"i wanted to stay home with you."

"i was asleep."

momo hums, taking the food out of the microwave, "i didn't mind. here." she sets a bowl of sundubu jjigae in front of you and then goes to scoop out a bowl of rice from the rice cooker as well. you spent a lot of the last 24 hours crying but you can't help the tears that well up in you again at the smell. this was one of the first dishes momo made for the four of you when you moved in together.

"do you want me to feed you?" momo's joking as she slides the bowl of rice over, but when you look up at her and she realises you're crying she quickly panics, "i mean i can! if you want!" she's frantically rummaging for a spoon and scooping out some rice and stew and holding it out to you.

you laugh, wiping at your eyes with your sleeve, adoring the way she tilts her head like a confused puppy in bewilderment, a small pout appearing on her lips.

you lean up and take the spoonful into your mouth, chewing and swallowing before leaning across to peck her on the lips. "i just love you is all you idiot."

momo blushes and you take the chance to grab the spoon from her and start eating the meal yourself.

she pouts and is about to whine when you both hear the door open, the telltale sign of keys jangling and the happy chattering of your other two favourite people in the world.

"momo! we got that ice cream y/n likes but i still don't think it's a good idea for her to eat it if she's sick!" nayeon's yelling from the door, probably taking off her shoes and you can hear a short squeal and something crash followed by laughter and you know sana has probably knocked something down or fallen over.

you raise your eyebrows at momo who shrugs and grins sheepishly, grabbing nayeon and sana's mugs and filling them with water.

when they come into the kitchen all loud and giggles its a sight for sore eyes. nayeon's kissing momo hello and setting the bags of shopping they have down. sana rounds the corner with more bags and that infectious smile. you loved all of them so much.

nayeon spots you first, frowning and walking over to you immediately, placing the back of her hand on your forehead. "hey baby, sorry to hear you weren't feeling well last night. are you feeling better now?"

you blush, nodding your head, your mouth still full of food.

sana's next to bound over to you once she's kissed momo in greeting as well, wrapping her arms around your shoulders and kissing the top of your head, "we missed you today. i got you this top i think would be really cute on you though! and momoring we also got you one of those draw-on shirts but we thought we could turn it into a date or something so we have four!" she's rummaging through her bags, producing items of clothing and talking about each one with her endless energy.

you swallow your food and look up at nayeon who has a fond smile on her face while watching sana, when she notices you looking at her she smiles and leans down to brush her lips against yours.

"wait... you're not sick with anything contagious are you...?"

"what if i was?"

she's squealing, running behind the counter before momo laughs and hands her the mug of water she filled and urging her to drink it. she also passes sana her mug who kisses her again in thanks.

you hum in content, happy to be around the people you loved most. its almost as if... they'll leave you. you don't deserve them. this is all temporary. don't get comfortable. you clench your spoon a little tighter, trying to will away the thoughts as you shove another spoonful into your mouth, focusing on the taste and the love behind the person who made it for you.

"-and i almost fell into the fountain and she just stood there and laughed at me!"

look at them enjoying themselves. you’re the odd one out. the one who’s about to break everyone’s happy mood.

you can make out nayeon's cackle, "in my defense! it was pretty funny! you had all your bags and everything and you threw your phone at that little boy!"

"wait sana you did what?"

you should just leave. leave them. look how happy they are without you. all you bring is sadness and anger. you can’t give them anything they’d want. what could you offer them?

"momoringg!! don't join her in this! he pushed me!"

"yeah because you were trying to steal his girlfriend!"

useless. hopeless. there’s nothing you can do. you can’t get anything right. not your job, not your friends, they’ll realise soon enough you know? that they’re better than you. that they’re too good for you. then it’ll be them leaving you. do it first before they realise that and break your heart.

"i was not!"

"that definitely sounds like you actually."

"y/n! you're on my side right?"

you look up in a daze, confused at what the context of the conversation was. "sorry?"

momo's frowning, trying to meet your eyes but you avoid her, looking at sana who's pouting, "were you listening? are you okay y/n?"

"y-yeah sorry i was just- just thinking about something. can you tell me the story again?"

suddenly sana's all in your space, basically climbing into your lap and cupping your cheeks with her hands, squinting at you. "what were you thinking about?"

you blush immediately, "oh y-y'know, just work."

"work's more important than me?"

"no sana i didn't mean it like that i'm sorry. of course work isn’t more important than you. can you tell me the story again? i'll listen this time i promise."

sana hums, nudging her nose against yours gently, "i'll tell you if you tell me the truth."

"what truth?" you feign indifference.

you can tell nayeon is looking at momo, asking for an explanation with her eyes but momo shrugs, turning away and going towards the sink to do the dishes.

"we've been together for 7 months y/n. and i've known you for much longer than that. i can tell when you're lying honey."

you gulp, clutching the spoon tighter with your hands when you feel someone else, nayeon, unwrap your fingers gently and take the spoon away, interlocking your fingers with hers instead.

you stand up quickly, unable to be interrogated at such close distance anymore. sana looks a little hurt when you do, pouting but letting you go. you look at nayeon who's eyeing you with a concerned curiosity. momo still has her back to all of you with the tap on but you can tell her shoulders are tense.

you rub the back of your neck in nervousness, avoiding all of their gazes. "u-um... i actually kinda... have something i needed to talk to you all about..."

you can feel the anxiety ramping up, the adrenaline and urge to run away pumping through you, your palms beginning to sweat.

momo saves you when she turns off the tap and wipes her hands clean, "let's all go to the living room and have some ice cream and we can talk about it yeah?"

you smile at her gratefully and she returns it, grabbing the ice cream nayeon and sana just brought back and a few spoons and bowls.

nayeon and sana exchange looks of confusion but help momo bring the utensils over and eventually you're all sitting on your couch in the living room with the television on for some background noise so it wasn't too awkward.

you fiddle with your hands, not looking at any of them while the random sitcom you have plays in the background. momo notices and grabs a hand, intertwining your fingers and squeezing gently, reassuring you that she was there.

you take a breath, clearing your throat and looking up at nayeon and sana.

"so i- um- i don't really know how to say this-"

"it's okay baby take your time. it's just us right?"

"yeah we're not going to judge you honey. we're here for you whatever this is okay?"

you take a shaky breath in, mumbling incoherently to yourself before deciding, "u-um it's probably a bit easier to s-show you." you let go of momo's hand and start to undo the tie at your pants.

"um... y/n if all you wanted was sex i think there were other ways to-" momo slaps nayeon who yelps, rubbing her arm where she was hit mumbling a "what?" but momo shushes her and gestures back to you.

you stand up and drop your pants, immediately feeling the cool breeze against your naked legs, shivering a little and fighting the urge to cover yourself. you stare down at your feet when you hear the little gasps. you decide to start talking, refusing to look up, "i'm sorry i made momo lie to you. i wasn't sick last night. i woke up and started thinking some… not so great things and i needed it to stop so i- um- i went to the bathroom where i hid some of my old stuff and i um- well-“ you awkwardly gesture at your thighs before continuing, “momo woke up and found me after the first cut. i would’ve kept going if she didn’t find me. she helped me clean up and bandage it and then i asked to sleep in the guest room because i didn’t want to um- i wasn’t ready to uh- to tell you guys yet- i’m sorry for keeping this from all of you for so long.“

when you’re done, you risk a glance up, and find the three loves of your life, tears running down their faces.

sana’s the first to move, she gets up and practically jumps over to you, but she stops short right before you touch, “c-can i- c-can i hug you?”

you smile at her, feeling your own tears well up at the sight of your three girlfriends crying. “of course darling. i’m still the same. i still love cuddling with you.”

she doesn’t give you a second thought and buries her head into your neck, wrapping her arms around your waist. you realise you’re still standing in the middle of the living room with your pants down which is a little absurd but you wrap your arms around her, sagging into her a little when she squeezes. you can feel her soft crying and the tears wet your neck.

nayeon stands and comes around as well, a little hesitant but you look at her and offer a wet smile and she breaks, enveloping the both of you in her arms as well with a muted sob. momo joins in as well because of course she does, you look at her gratefully as she sniffles, fiddling a little with her fingers before coming around behind you and moulding herself to your back, hands coming around your waist and holding onto sana’s hands, giving them a squeeze for reassurance as well.

you're surrounded with all the love you wanted. so why do you still want to die? you don't listen to that voice, pushing it down and trying to stay in the moment. eventually, someone breaks away, and you awkwardly shuffle your pants back on, glad to be able to cover up your scars.

nayeon speaks up first, a hand still holding yours, squeezing gently, "how long have you been... y'know-"

"since before i met you. the thoughts started getting really bad when i was still in high school. and all the pressure with doing well and all the extra curriculars i was picking up, it just got too much. the only thing that worked was the pain. it got me through high school, and i started to rely on it. but then... the first time i slept with someone... she was appalled. i had almost forgotten the scars were there until my pants were off. she got scared off and i told myself i wouldn't let anyone else see this side of me."

"baby..."

"it's okay. it got better after i met you guys. and when we all started dating i stopped. i felt happy." you smile up at your girlfriends, tears still streaming down your face, "being with all of you made me forget those things. but they came back. and worse this time because- because i have so much more to lose now. i can't- i can't lose you-" you can't control the sobs when you break down again. pathetic.

the girls are surrounding you instantly, whispering reassurances, brushing through your hair, tracing shapes into your skin, you try and focus on your bodily sensations rather than your internalisations, try and focus on them.

"we'd never leave you honey... we're not complete without you, you believe me right?" sana's tilting your face up to meet hers, her eyes are watery, nose red.

"i'm trying to believe you."

she places her forehead against yours and closes her eyes, sighing slightly, "i'm going to tell you that everyday from now. that i love you and that i'm not going anywhere. until you believe me." she smiles and tries for a joke, "you're going to have to deal with clingy me for the rest of your life."

you let out a broken laugh, kissing her sweetly. "i love when you're clingy anyway."

she laughs as well, wiping at her nose.

you peek at nayeon. you know she has more questions, the frown on her face and the little pout she has breaks your heart. you reach a hand out to her, she takes it after some consideration, and you pull her into your lap.

"you can ask anything. there's nothing off limits. i'll try answer everything i can and i promise i'll be honest with everything. that goes for the both of you as well." you look over at sana who's moved to your side to allow for nayeon to sit on your lap, she's got a hand on the eldest's waist, playing with her shirt, her other hand on your shoulder.

momo moves to your other side, lifting nayeon's legs and placing them on her own, tracing her calves and brushing a strand of your hair behind your ear.

nayeon's biting her lip, you focus on the small mole under her left eyebrow.

"w-why didn't you tell us?"

you sigh, "i didn't really think i needed to at first. because i hadn't done it in so long. i thought i was better."

"is it because you thought you couldn't trust us?"

"no baby that's not it."

"why did you keep your old stuff hidden then? when we moved in together? a part of you must have thought you weren't entirely better."

you bring a hand up to caress her cheek, she leans into the touch. "you're right. i'm sorry."

"is it still here?"

you look towards momo for an answer and she nods, "i didn't want to throw everything away. i wanted you to make that decision on your own. i thought that if we forcefully got rid of your things you might just try and hide it from us the next time the feelings come up. it's there but i... i don't really like the idea of leaving you alone y/n..."

nayeon's squeezing one of momo's hands, "pretty baby's so smart. i'm thankful you found her momo."

you nod in agreement, "is that why you kept following me around?"

momo nods shyly, her eyes still wet.

"i'm okay with that. i don't- i don't really trust myself right now either. i think it'd be good if someone was with me. if that wasn't... a burden or anything of course..."

sana jumps in, "honey no. you're not a burden. i hope you don't think that about yourself. i love taking care of you. i'd love being able to be there for you while you get better."

you smile at her gratefully.

"what are some of the bad thoughts you have baby?" nayeon's bringing your attention back to her, you can tell she's struggling to formulate these questions. but you're glad that she's asking them.

"a lot of it is about you guys. because you're all the reason i'm still here today."

"what about us? what can we do sweetie?"

you shake your head, looking down at your hands which are quickly taken ahold of by momo and sana. "i guess it comes down to... wondering if you can still love me while i hate myself." your grip tightens around their hands.

"you hate yourself?" nayeon's voice is shaky now, she's trying her best to hold back her emotions, wanting to find out everything she can do for you.

you nod, tears dropping onto her pants.

"there's this song. i think- i think it might be easier to play that for you guys if that's okay? i'm not really- i don't really know how to talk about this..."

they nod and quickly try and find your phone. momo finds it and hands it over to you. you quickly unlock it and search for the song you're looking for. could you love me while i hate myself - zeph.

you press play, clicking into the lyrics and staring at them to avoid looking at your girlfriend's reactions. it's a short song.

could you love me while i hate myself?

could you love me though i don't deserve it?

could you love me like there's no one else

even though you know i can't return it?

could you love me when the water's rough?

or when i leave you in a desert?

could you love me, though i speak with knives?

knowing all to well that you'll get hurt

if you can't answer 'yes' just go

i'm more trouble than i'm worth

could you love me while i hate myself?

because i don't know how this works

i never learned how this works

when it ends, you awkwardly tap out of your app, putting your phone down.

"thank you for sharing that baby."

you hum.

nayeon takes a shaky breath in, then quietly asks, "is it okay if i sing for you?"

you're surprised, looking up at her, her eyes are red. you nod.

she closes her eyes, humming a note to start, taking a breath in again and steadying her voice.

i'll love you while you hate yourself

i'll love you because you deserve it

i'll love you like i love us together

until you're ready to return it

i'll love you when things get rough

no matter where you leave us

i'll love you even when you're

working out all your thoughts

i'll get hurt if it means

some of your pain comes onto me

i'll love you while you hate yourself

and we'll figure out how it works

together we'll learn to get better

when she finishes and opens her eyes, you're sniffling again, tears streaming out of your eyes.

sana's the first to speak up, bringing her hands up to wipe at the tears on nayeon's cheeks, "our little musical genius. of course you came up with a response exactly on pitch after listening to a song once."

nayeon lets out a broken laugh, leaning into sana's touch.

you meet her eyes, a bright smile gracing your face, and you probably look a little silly, wet cheeks and red nosed with tears still dripping out of you, but nayeon laughs again in relief, coming in and kissing you.

you kiss her back gratefully, trying to convey how much you loved her in your action. you can feel sana's hand on your arm and momo's fingers in your hair. you loved them.

the thoughts are still there. you think they’ll always be there. but you don’t have to take them on on your own anymore. it would take time, but the people you loved were going to help you through it. you needed to put some trust in them as well, trust that they wouldn't leave, trust that they loved you just as you loved them, you wanted to get better, for them and for yourself, you believed you could get better with their help, for now, that was enough.

⸸

an extra a/n bcs its important: hi! i recognise that all experiences are unique so i just wanted to say the descriptions here aren’t meant to be generalised and i didn’t intend to write any stereotypes or misconceptions and i apologise if i have - i try to draw upon my own experiences to be able to write - in saying that i hope that anyone who feels they relate to similar themes etc seeks the help they need from professional sources - my dms are open ofc but i am not a professional and it is best to speak to someone who can help you in real time and in physicality. stay safe love y’all practice some self care today if u get the chance! <3

[apple-flavored-autism]

HELLOOOO! This is Lampkeeper! And welcome to my corner of the universe~!

Lil bio:

Name: Atticus / Lee

Gender: three feral rats with rabies in a trenchcoat

Pronouns: any!! I don't care!!

Lamps: 100000003067 lamps

Sexual orientation: asexual

Romantic orientation: aromantic + homoro-oriented (gay asf)

Likes: Fandoms (preferably small fandoms), food (specifically chicken nuggets), sleeping, lamps, goobers, cats, salmon, winter, dragons (will ramble for hours), b r e a d, sweaters!!!

Dislikes: Loud noises, excited dogs, pollen (is allergic), mosquitos (VERY allergic), strong spices, lots of clothes, summer.

Special interests: Dragons, cats, I Expect You To Die, Portal, The Stanley Parable, Rise of the TMNT, Megamind (somehow), science in general.

Kinned characters: Donnie (ROTTMNT), The Narrator (TSP), Wheatley (Portal 2), Pheonix (IEYTD), Megamind (c'mon, you know this one), William Afton (FNAF- don't ask.), The Spot (Spider-man ATSV)

Physical features: Long-ish dark brown hair, tanish skin despite rarely going outside, brown eyes, 5 feet 6 inches tall, often wears casual clothing but wears a skirt on Sunday, depending on who he's with, he almost never smiles.

Notes: Was never tested for autism or ADHD, but has a strong belief he has both (with research to back him up). Staying with the label neurotypical until the belief is strong enough to self-diagnose. DEFINITELY has anxiety. Might also be dyslexic- constantly misreads words. Is also a therian + otherkin; cat therian + duck therian (WILL meow and WILL purr, don't blame him) + dragon otherkin (WILL roar and WILL hiss). Has an odd belief he's not human.

!! THIS USER IS A SYSTEM !!

Will there be a "meet the artist" drawing soon? Yes, yes there will be. Will I draw myself accurate to my IRL self? Yes. Yes I will. Will I also draw my little alien persona? Yes. In several ways. Will I draw my fursona and his two halves? Absolutely.

For Roleplay under the cut!! vvvv

Blue text is for when Agent Felix talks

Purple text is for when Lampkeeper talks

Classic text is when I/The Narrator am speaking

Red text for Dr. Zor, Orange text for Hivemind, Yellow text for Charlie Caliente, Green text for John Juniper.

These all take place in the IEYTD universe.

Felix lore:

Agent Felix joined Zoraxis's team when he was just a little kid, probably about third grade. If he went to school, lol, which he didn't.

He just wandered around a town all day, doing whatever he could to learn. Zor found him- Zor was about mid-thirties at the time- and just straight up adopted Felix. Zor gave Felix lessons on basic stuff like reading, math, etc., basically just all the elementary school stuff- except it only took 2 years. Zor, obviously, was surprised so he gave Felix some options and Felix chose technology.

Zor gave him everything he could to Felix on the subject, and by age 12, Felix had the technology expertise as a mad scientist. Felix started doodling after Zor adopted him, the doodles being very happy in general. Over time, they got.. concerning.. and Zor didn't know what to do about that.

Eventually, as more people joined Zoraxis, the more Felix was left alone with his little inventions. Occasionally, Zor, Hivemind and Charlie visited him (and were the only ones that celebrated his birthday), rarely Solaris for business. Felix loved Hivemind and Charlie like family.

The death engine was built when Felix was thirteen years old, him being oblivious to what he and Solaris were building. Agent Pheonix had seen him during Operation: Seat of Power, and recognized him as a kid.

When the death engine fired for the first time, Felix was devastated. Maybe a bit traumatized. He hated himself for being so oblivious to what he built. He didn't talk, eat or anything for days, even after he heard that Agent Pheonix had stopped the Death Engine. In fact, Felix felt worse becuase people had died.

Pheonix came back after a day or two of recovery and brought Felix to the agency. The agency convinced Felix to join (hesitantly) and almost gave up after ten minutes until Felix finally said one word: "okay". His mental recovery lasted 2 weeks, his fourteenth birthday two days after. His drawings started returning to a happier-looking state during the time. Felix waited a month and a half for agent training to begin, and when it did, it was too slow to match his learning pace. Regardless, he did what he was told without complaint. ...until they gave him a bomb to diffuse.

They knew perfectly well he couldn't diffuse bombs. They gave him one anyways. He had to run to other agents to find someone who could diffuse bombs. Felix was trying to figure out for days why they gave him a bomb. No clear answer was found.

Felix often has regrets leaving Zoraxis, since he misses everyone and he misses being useful. Usually he just looks at his shirt and he no longer has regrets, but recently it hasn't been working. He has a lot of conflicting emotions. He tries to stop the regrets by telling him stuff like "it feels great to be good" (as you know) and stuff like that. They've been working, but not much. The agency is constantly worried he'll switch sides again, but they don't know what to do about it since they don't want to get near him.

Felix doesn't know it, but Zor, Hivemind and Charlie miss him. Zor has had his eyes on Felix since he left and has been hoping he'd come back. The whole John Juniper thing was half-planned in hopes Felix would be sent on a mission. (I'm listening to This Is What Autumn Feels Like right now and it's throwing ideas like this at me ashgdhwhdhend)

Then Felix gets kidnapped, he runs away, you know the drill if you were reading/involved in it. He came back worse than before, almost back to his old state after the death engine. His memory was a little more messed up and he has major trust issues.

The end :]

[sillykittyco]

monthly check in to let yall know that i am ALIVE!!! and THRIVING!!!!

little ramble about how ive been under the keep reading

omg i have so much more freedom than i ever had and its absolutely AMAZING!! like for starters i am a big romance fan and now i can actually enjoy my romance games/shows without someone guilt tripping me into deleting them because that person is insecure of some pngs !!!! and now i can go to bed whenever i want and can stay up as long as i want and i dont have a strict bedtime set by my partner!!!! and i can talk to whoever i want and i dont even have anyone making fun of my comfort characters anymore :DDD getting out of a relationship is so freeing asjklhgasdjkasjdh if all relationships are like this i think id just be better off single LOL /hj

its just so nice to not constantly be micromanaged by your partner!!! and to not have to worry about being yelled at or hit for doing the Wrong thing!!!!

but breaking up isnt ALL i have to talk about askjhaskdh!!! ive been taking a bigbig break from all of social media and its helped improve my mood a WHOLE BUNCH and im vvvv happy now!!! and and and ive been working on loving myself more and having more confidence, which is coming along VERY smoothly!! im starting to focus on myself more rather than those around me and its seriously helped me feel so much better :)))

i kinda forgot what i was writing about and its been twenty minutes so i think i'll just post this!!!! happy day everyone :DDDD

[notdysfunk]

Saw your Bendy Sun n Moon and I have a thought (note: I have NOT seen the new game, I am running on BATIM). I saw MC was trying to get coffee and ended up here somehow and I wondered about what if they were a former worker if the studio? Their last memory was of well, taking a break to get coffee. And so when they suddenly find themselves here in ink hell they’re lost as fuck. Bc they sense a lot of time has passed, bits and memory of things they done in the past number of years and it feels right and wrong. They have the feeling of doing those things vividly but at the same time their body/mind is at a time where they were working. So they’re just lost between these mashed up memories and wondering how they got here. Not sure if I explained it well but have a little thought for funsies

Hhehhehee I like ur ideas!! Thanks for info-dumping in my asks I love this sm fr <3 /gen I have seen the new game and I'll explain it after the read more if you don't mind spoilers but !! I like this idea of MC trying to figure out these really weird feelings and mashed up thoughts, and while Sun and Moon are trying their best to help they're not sure how... They remember almost everything after their transfer to Drew's studio. vvvv BATIMDR SPOILERS vvvv

BATIMDR SPOILERS In BATIMDR, u play as audrey. She gets up to get a coffee, and gets interrupted by a creepy guy named Wilson. A "short in the system" of the elevator brings you down to a room with the ink machine. He has you, obliviously, activate this machine. Then you're thrown into the ink world, all messed up and inky?? ? ? So I just played off that with this AU. MC got up for a coffee as well, then got sucked into the ink as well, waking up in the new world. They're not doing so hot because obviously they're startled about the fact their entire world just got flipped.... But Sun is more than happy to lend a hand. Pic for reference teehee

[maiverie]

Hahaha… heyyy…

Long time no talk maiverie 😜‼️ I totally like didn’t disappear off of the Earth of Tumblr… or did I.?? 😳😳 I REALLY REALLY MOST DESPERATELY hope that you’re doing well bffl!! I WILL ALWAYS RESPOND TO YOU FROM NOW ON UNTIL I FEEL LIKE ITS TIME FOR ME TO JUMP INTO MY DARK HABIT OF GHOSTING TUMBLR 😚🫶 BIG NEWS. I’m ngl… but I’m kind of leaning towards Heeseung bias.. BUT. Jake will always be ma numba 1 hyperpuppy boy ☝️I KNOW.. WHO THE HELL AM I?1!?1 I DONT EVEN KNOW ME ANYMORE T-T ! MY WHOLE BLOG IS DEDICATED TO THAT MANS‼️

ANYWAYS DID YOU HEAR BOUT THAT P1HARMONY CONCERT?1!1? AND REX ORANGE COUNTY AND LAUV TOO?1!1? THERE ARE SO FUCKING MANYPEOPLE TOURING AUSTRALIA ITS SOOOOOO UNBELIEVABLE !!! I LITERALLY BARELY LISTEN TO THEM BUT I WANNA GO SOOOOO BAD 😫😫 but like what the hell I dont get paid enough to even afford those tickets 😟

I have no excuse to run away from you anymore. I hope you didn’t feel lonely :( ENOUGH OF DAT GLOOMY SHIT!! IM SO GLAD YOU HAVE SO MANY MOOTS NOW!! YOUVE GROWN SO MUCH ON THIS PLATFORM AND IM GENUINELY SO PROUD OF YOU T-T I will now be off to go read your works until like 3am and shed tears (+repost, like, let the whole world know and shed some more tears) I LOVE YOU LOADS MAIVERIE!! 🤍 ALSOOO HAPPY LATE VALENTINES DAY??? IK IM LIKE 5 MONTHS LATE BUT ITS WHATEVER… MUCH LOVE 🥰

- from dat bitch that always dips

SHUT THE FUCK UP SELENA YOURE HEEEREEEE???? 😭😭😭😭😭😭 im actually gna kms i missed u a lil too much i’m gna cry 😭😭😭😭😭😭

KSJEKSJWLWIJDAKADKA i didn’t actually expect a reply CMONNNN it’s been months ☹️💖 (i ghosted tumblr too for a few months but it’s okay we both have our faults and we’re still perfect amazing sexy ppl 🫂) ALSO SHUT UPPPP THAT IS THE BIGGEST NEWS EVER IAKEKWLFJLSS IM CRYYINGGGF idk if u rmb but i used to be jay biased 😭 you 🤝 me 🤝 succumbing to heeseung BUT PSLSSS HELPP IM SO EXCITED FOR U (i can finally call u my fave heetual 😽) SO WHAT CHANGED UR MIND ?? WAS BITE ME THE FINAL STRAW ?? 🤭

OH MY GOD I DIDDD 😭😭😭😭 i’m literally confused bc at first it was that NOBODY was coming to aus and suddenly everybody and their dog wants to come 😭 also niki is coming?? taylor swift?? CHARLIE PUTH??? like hold upppp 😭😭

🥹🥹 NO BC SHUT UP WHY DID UR LASK GEN MAKE ME WANNA KMS IN A HAPPY SAD WAY IM 😭😭😭 NOOOOO BC U ARE MY DAY 1 😭💖🫵 I LOVE U SM WTH this acc has definitely grown a lot since the beginning but it makes me so proud and happy that you were a part of that 😭 nothing makes me happier than interacting w u so tysm for popping in ☹️💗 also it literally is so late GO TO SLEEP you’re like an hr ahead of me which means it’s 3:30???!!!!!$&”&:&;” btw as i was typing this i saw ur rb on bite by bite STOPP WHY ARE U READING IT GO AWAY 😭😭 naur cos it’s so different from my usual writing style BUT PLS IM GLAD IT WAS OKAY 😭💖💖💖💞

anyway i miss u i love u HAPPY BELATED VALENTINE’S DAY thank you for stopping by MWAH MWAH MWAH appreciate u loads 😽😽 hope u are keeping warm for winter && work + uni are going well 😵‍💫 vvvv exciting news that u r now heeseung biased I CANT BE MORE PROUD 🤭😈 love u long long long time my fave KEEP SAFE PLEASE EAT WELL STAY HEALTHY BE HAPPY && AND I WILL BE HAPPY 💕💞💓💗💝💘💖

[faeirtopia]

Yandere shohei????? Ma'am???????????? I am- just speechless. Absolutely speechless. Would def want to read more of that kind of dynamics here but of course if it is uncomfy u dont have to but it was vvvv enjoyable to read

-🐣

oh I’m not uncomfortable! I’m growing more and more comfortable writing smut so if you’d like more I’ll definitely write more for you ☺️ just request! I’m happy you enjoyed it though! that was my very first time writing such content before so I hope it was good.

[dangermousie]

The Kingdom of the Winds OTP post - part 3

Continued from here:

(99+) Musings of the Obsessive Kind on Tumblr

and here:

(99+) Musings of the Obsessive Kind on Tumblr

Point 13: Every gal wants a Prince

Or at least I hope so, because Muhyul decides to accept his destiny (long story) in order to protect Yeon and she finds out her slave/renegade ninja boyfriend is the Crown Prince.

Point 14: A good ship can even make me like facial hair

And then he goes off to war and she gets kidnapped and dragged back to Buyeo where the evil King, who belatedly feels bad for offing her Dad, makes her a Princess again. Muhyul is not happy and other plot plot plot...Yeon returns blah blah. More importantly however, while at the front, Muhyul decides to grow a beard. Probably to keep warm. Or fend off attacks from lonely soldiers. I am not sure.

Also importantly, he finds out that it is impossible to marry an enemy princess (her status got discovered) and he will have to have an arranged marriage instead. He cannot have Yeon! He is forced to marry an appropriate lady instead.

He looks vvvv happy:

And Yeon has to watch the wedding.

This is a 'my true love is having sex with another woman right now' face.

Only...not so much! Muhyul won't touch wifey.

To be married to Song Il Gook in period gear and not to have him is to be condemned to the fate of Tantalus.

Anyway, he'd rather spend his wedding night staring hopelessly at Yeon in her hut.

Perhaps not so hopelessly.

They saved themselves for each other and Muhyul has his wedding night with another woman.

And then he continues to avoid wife because that sexy bod belongs only to Yeon but I am gonna stop right here and am just gonna say, when a Daddy becomes a Literal Daddy, I freak in the best way.

This said, point the last - like most old school sageuks, this one DOES NOT HAVE A HAPPY ENDING!!!!!

If like me, you also shipped a princess and a rough general, an awesome secondary OTP, not all will be lost for you in terms of shiiping:

PS Muhyul was probably cursed because his hotness was world-destroying.

[mhadumpsterfire]

Special Viewer [P.2]

~~~~Katsuki Bakugou~~~~

In which Camboy! Katsuki Bakugou starts to become oddly interested in one of his viewers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Warnings: Smut, Fluff, Cursing, Mentions of drug use and alcohol use. Y/N is afab!

If you are easily offended by sensitive tops I advise you click away

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: I also just want to say thank you to everyone who gave so much love and support to the last part :) It makes me so happy to see ya'll horny mfs freak out as much as i am. I LOVE U ALL and I'm tagging everyone who showed excitement in the last part.

vvvv

@trishiepo0 @lolawassad @itsroseally @yoshimochii @deleteusthefetus @energyabsorber @love-the-sin-n-the-sinners

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

11:03am, Saturday morning. Your eyes fluttered open to the beaming sunlight peeking through the blinds on your window. An exasperated sigh flowed through your mouth as you realize your position. You lazily rub your eyes and roll yourself out of bed. Whilst walking yourself to your dresser, you see a blue screen from the corner of your eyes and realize you left your computer on. Thinking nothing of it, you walk to it to shut the top closed, but as you placed your hands on the top of the laptop, about to shut it...you paused and your eyes widened.

Message Notification: From Dynamite!

It read in big bold letters. You jumped away from the computer, slapped your hands over your mouth and proceeded to jump around in a circle and scream into your hands.

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHAT THE-?!" You yell to yourself in disbelief. You run over to the computer, impatient to open the message. In an act of pure bravery, you clicked on the message before snapping your body away from the screen, deathly afraid of what it might be. After a few minutes, you slowly turned back around to the computer and were greeted with...

"(405-6532-5334) Txt me :)"

WHAT THE ASS? You screamed a string of curse words into your hands once more before putting the number into your contacts under "dynamite <3". You were ESTATIC! Your internet porn crush wants YOU to text him? It must be a dream, you pinched yourself a few times but...it in fact was not a dream. Right when you were finally about to text him, you received a call from your long-time best friend, Aiden.

You immediately answered, sighing in relief as if he was an answer to your prayers to interrupt this scary moment.

"Hey, what's sup, Aiden?"

"Hey, nerd. I'm bored as fuckkkk today, you tryna go to the park with me, chill a bit, maybe hit up the new café there too?" He asked, of course that sounded...like super fun so you reluctantly replied, thinking of that text to Dynamite.

"Yeah, of course dude. What time?" You ask casually not trying to freak out.

"Uhm......30?" He replies. You agree, say your goodbye then hang up the phone. Quite relieved you have something to do to get this all off your mind. Your poor heart and soul cannot take this overload of excitement.

You walk to your dresser and decide to slay the most slay you have ever slayed. You dress yourself up in the best outfit you could find, fix your hair, grab your phone and keys and leave the house. You then get into your car and start it, but, before you started to drive to the park you decided to shoot Dynamite or should I say "dynamite <3" a text.

"Hey :-)". anddd.....send! You immediately blush and proceed to MUTE his message notifications so you wouldn't have to get the message and see the reply, you were WAY to shy for something like that. You then throw your phone onto the passenger's seat and start to drive.

You arrived at the park, right on time. You park right in the front and spot Aiden leaning up against a tree by the benches. Excited, you hurriedly get out, lock your car and jog over to him. "Hey, Aiden." You say happily. He waves back at you and suggest you guys go get a drink at the café, you agree of course.

While walking casually, Aiden turns and makes a comment "You look....excited today? What's got you so hyped?" You smile, blush and turn away. "Oooh...I saw that little look on your face! It's a boyyyyyyyy, Huh?" He continued, teasingly bumping your shoulder. "It's nothing, just a guy I liked gave me his number this morning." You say, wildly sugar coating the situation. "Oh? That's amazing Y/N! You've GOT to tell me about him." Aiden said excitedly. Right then, you opened your phone to see a red number 01 on your texts. It has to be him since...nobody else texts you....You smile at your phone. Aiden gasped "Is that him? What did he say?!" he asked breathing down your neck practically. You playfully shove him away before replying "None of your beeswax, idiot. It's just my mom." You say. "Whatever you say." Aiden says, shrugging his shoulders.

You open the text.

wassup, bunny. what took u so long? I've been waiting for you all morning.

You try your best not to squeal in excitement by Aiden, you chuckle a bit before replying.

Slept in late I guess, why? You excited to talk to little ol' me?

You sigh satisfied with your text, and turn your phone off. "Here it is, I went here with my coworker last week, this place is so nice. Come on, let's grab a seat." Aiden said interrupting your lovestruck trance. You follow him into the café, and you both sit at a table in a quaint little corner, away from others just how you both like it.

"Alright, here's your menu and here's mine." You start, you hand Aiden one of the Menu's on the table. "I'm so hyped to try this place, you really have been gassing it up." You continue. He rewards you with a chuckle "Yeah, and for good reason." He said. Just as the conversation started, a short, pretty, shy looking waitress waddles her way over to the table.

"Hello! My name is Alessandra! Welcome to the Downtown Café! What can I get s-started for you guys?" She said, quietly. You look at Aiden for direction when you notice his eyes lingering on her for a little too long. Yeah, he is definitely into her. "Y-yeah U-uhm.." Aiden starts awkwardly flustered. "I'll uhm...I'll get the Macha Latte, with a-uh pink macaroon, please...and thank you." He says. Definitely stumbling on his words. He then looks at you in an effort to alert you to save him from this. You nod your head at him, and reassuringly smile before ordering. "Yeah, I'll just get a Raspberry Tea with a purple macaroon, thanks." You say swiftly, almost flexing on Aiden.

"Of course! Coming right up!" She says, she looks at Aiden, blushes and hurries away. You start laughing uncontrollably, pushing Aiden's shoulder. He looks into your crying eyes with his annoyed ones, crossing his arms in irritation. "You are so into her, you idiot, you were a stuttering mess that's so embarrassing!" You say, slapping your hands onto the table in an effort to stabilize your limp body. He rolls his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Shut up. It's not like she'd be into me anyways. So, just forget it." He pouts. "Oh my god, Aiden..." You start, giving Aiden a look of "Are you fucking stupid?"..."You're the dumbest guy I have ever met, she obviously is into you dude, she was all blushing and shit taking your order." You say.

"W-wait really?" He says hopefully, "J-just nevermind. Forget about it." He says, nodding off to the side. You then grab your phone to pass the time and see another message from Dynamite.

Damn, did my stream last night leave you that worn out?

and no, idiot I don't get excited talking to people.

Ugh, you could just see him smirking and pouting through the phone.

Maybe it did. And I'm idiot now?

He immediately read your reply and texted back

shut up, idiot girl just send me a pic for contact photo or something.

You chuckle before snapping a quick selfie and sending it to him, feeling proud you look good. Aiden looked lonely, so you decide to just shut your phone off for the rest of the time you're hanging out with him. He's your best friend, anyways. You'll always put him over any stupid boy any day.

~~~~~~~

Part 3 coming...

Friday, May 27th at 12:00am PST. :)

[jordyjinx]

just a little life update since i never post on here anymore :’) i’m moving out mid-december and i couldn’t be happier !! i’ll finally be on my own with just my friends and my life will be so much less chaotic !! for once !! i still have my job and am saving every penny, and i’m in fandoms that make me vvvv happy rn and have been writing fic constantly again. and i’m seeing mcr in october in oakland !! :D v happy times, for the most part … okay bye, this is like my lil diary now

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

I looked at my dash the right time huh!/lh

I am amused how i caught you at the right time for chien pao and also those headcanons are adorable and i long for scarvi if only. to squish the cat/LH, your writing is fantastic as always and thank you for doing my request absolutely adored :]

-salt anon(i am absolutely squishing the chien-pao at arven. what a good boye, did nothing wrong, totally/lh)

Yeah anytime! I am a Chien Pao fan first and human second /lh

I was so happy to finally have them vvvv

[brick-a-doodle-do]

reviewing all 25 of my fics !!!!!

i have never read my writing! i just did. some was good, some was bad, here's my review and at the end there's a tier list C:

curiosity one

actively throwing up i hated every little bit of that i'm so glad i'm rewriting that oh my god why was that so popular?? 🤢

i can confidently say i no longer feel this way vvvv

curiosity two

ehhh getting better but still not the best. but at least i didn't cringe my way through the fic this time!! :D

curiosity three

writing is iffy because i'm mixing two different writing styles together

HOWEVER i LOVE the h/c in this therefore it is so far my favorite chapter :D

"tommy calm down, it's just a drink, see?" is just WJKEJFNRDNF i love it for no reason :D the interactions in this i admit are really nice

curiosity four

supposed to be an exiting chapter but tbh i did not execute that too well

uhh yippeee he's out!!!

curiosity five

mmm mm m mmmm idk how to feel about this one

very fast paced i will admit

this whole series is so fucking rushed 😭

curiosity six

meh

dialogue is pretty cool tho

overall this series is rushed and poorly made lmaooo

wilbur chocolate 1

okay this is pretty good

not lovely but it's readable and i honestly love this au so i'm not gonna diss it too hard

wilbur chocolate 2

i like this one

dialogue go brrr

also i feel like i executed wil's panic semi-well? i definitely made him have some trust in tommy way too soon but yk

i'll run away and hide with you

ehhh there's nothing technically wrong with it,,,,,

no real comments it's fine ig

spy au: unofficial prologue

idk there's nothing wrong with it like this fic !! :D

2022 summer exchange

again too rushed i need to draw out trust it doesn't happen in two minutes!!!

"you're pretty" makes me happy tho. don't ship dnf too hard but i like it :DD

ghosts are better than humans

writing is iffy but it's cute !!

company & repairs 1

first fic and it's mid. i got fanart for it though, that's pretty cool :D (i toooootally didn't ask for it, i got it just by pure chance. totally!)

mm i could've written his injuries better

i like my use of internal questions

dude in my earlier fics i was so scared to write like product names and the word "scream" and "yell" bc i didn't want it to come off as cringe like wth that is literally so bad

i let go, when i should've held tighter/an inconvenience, at best 1

typos are bad. bad bad.

writing can 100% be difficult

ended up deleting it to redo it bc after all this worldbuilding i need to redo some things :)

also dialogue is everything but accurate

never fucking again.

ok ummm i could've done his pain a lot better

i've gotten better at writing mental health so i'm going to rewrite this someday

but to be fair i wrote this alongside many other things that day---i was doing a bet,,,,

writing is actually kind of decent and i love how chill tommy is lmaooo "well, he fucked that one up" "at least he got his powers working"

apart from thattt i LOVE this au and am excited to write the first chapter :D

oh, george

okay time to see all the hype around this. 93 notes???? this better be good

not worth all the notes (sosososo grateful for those btw almost 100 notes that is AWESOME) but i can see why it was liked. i can usually tell if this community will eat smth up or not,,,

don't fall

i liked that

definitely my favorite so far

writing is decent and it's fluffy so i like it :DD good job me C:<

heavy is the head that gets no sleep

mm cute i like it :D

top for sure

2022 secret santa: too good to be true

okay the idea for this was like actually awesome, i loved having dream like kinda do into that trance thingy and having it fade in later. and i like how i incorporated "bitter stares" into it.

however there's a severe lack of dialogue and the action is drawn out, far too short and not properly there

it also felt rlly short so there's that,,,

the act of making noise 1

i like this one! it could be a little bit better but tbh it's a good au and i like the writing a lot more than some of my other fics so it s a win from me :D

i also think i has a nice flow to it? that could just be me tho

counting down the seconds

v bad i can see why this didn't do too well

deleting it cause this au is on hiatus,, might give it out as a prompt now :D

uhh writing wasn't too good and it was very boring, way too long asw,,,

mere monstrosity

I LOVED THAT??

it's actually well written??

WRITING SHANE IS SO FUN HIS DIALOGUE IS THE BEST----

this is such an underrated fic of mine istggg

top fics for sureee

sfdjsdjgdnf SHANE'S DIALOGUEEEE!!!!! I WILL GLADDLY WRITE MORE OF HIM!!

the little things (written)

badly written, fluffy, one of my oldest fics

cory's notes give me life tho <333 "your writing makes me feel warm" AJGFSAJDGEFJDNF i love cory smsm :D

shroud, you savior?

eh

good fic idea, poorly executed

and oh my god in my earlier fics i'm realizing how oblivious i was to how puncuation worked, especially for my dialogueeeeeee!! it makes me feel terrible reading it,,,,,

also the amount of fluff-to-angst ratio is good, but again i need to write panic better,,,,

hush 1

YES! I LIKE THIS! to be fair it's my newest fic but STILL i like this a lot!!!

good angst, suspense could be a tiiiny bit better but i still rlly like this!!! top fic for sure C:<

switched

fluff. fluff fluff fluff. writing aside the mouthplay scenes are the best things ever i am so happy this exists !!!!!!!!!

wow i have an excruciating number of fics. i did not like reading them :'D

tier list time >:D (more under cut)

Keep reading

hush 1 (writing, dialogue, plot, everything is good imo)

don't fall (if the writing for this was better it'd be #1 !! the fluff, this entire au in general, "i won't hurt you" mmmm this is a yummy fic !!!)

mere monstrosity (speaks for itself. i loved this fic! it's a bit rocky in the beginning but i just love shane sm <3)

the act of making noise 1 (YES this is good. the overall plot is iffy but i like chapter one so far, hopefully i can take this au in the right direction !!)

curiosity killed the cat 3 ("it's just a drink, see?" mm yummy)

heavy is the head that gets no sleep (prime boys my belovedd)

spy au: unofficial prologue (i just have a thing for spy!dnf <33)

wilbur chocolate 2 (like i said, dialogue go brrrr, and it's actually a decent sequel. wilbur chocolate beloved asw >:D)

wilbur chocolate 1 (angst beloved)

ghosts are better than humans (it's simple. i didn't overdo it,,,)

i let go when i should've held tighter/spy au 1 (spy au belovedd!!!)

never fucking again (love this au sm, my opinion is swayed again)

switched (tinies overcoming their fear of getting nommed is such a high trope for me,,,)

oh, george (my opinion is swayed bc of the tiktok it's based off of)

2022 secret santa: too good to be true (honestly despite my lack of flow & dialogue its pretty good)

2022 summer exchange (honestly idk why i don't rlly like this---i'm making a part two so some part of me should enjoy it?)

shroud, you savior? (ok this fic is an era to me it brings back positive memories :] also ppl like this so i meannn)

curiosity killed the cat 2 (he and wilbur talk, what's not to like? i like this chapter a lot actually)

the little things (little streamer au my belovedd)

curiosity killed the cat 6 (everything is revealed!!!! and wilbur not being able to really do anthing cause a. he's in tommy's storage and b. he's a traitor, kidnapper and villain in tommy's eyes)

i'll run away and hide with you (idkkkk why i don't like this either. to be fair nothing's really wrong with it,,)

company & repairs 1 (again memories and also idk this was my first fic, i think nostalgia is helping my decision)

curiosity killed the cat 4 (he gets out, that's pretty cool)

counting down the seconds (eeeehhh this used to be a cool au of mine but that was before i just stopped working on it and i realized it wasn't that cool,,)

curiosity killed the cat 1 (No.)

i switched these around so much lmaoo but i was dead set on the last two. curiosity was so bad wtf??