#so I do a whole complex process to get a wrong answer

[spywitch]

Its so hard trying to find out how to just feel feelings instead of intellectualizing them. Like ppl always say thats what you need to do but thats like telling someone who’s constipated they just need to shit… like YEAH ok awareness of the fact that its not normal to only shit once a week and have a really hard time doing it every time is the first step in fixing it, but then you need to learn what diet changes and maybe pelvic floor related exercises you should be doing, and in some cases laxatives and supplements you need to make it so you Can Shit. So like what are the ways to Feel emotions fr

[darlingdaisyfarm]

Their reaction to tears (Stan & Ford)

Stan

Perhaps from the outside it seems that Stan is not a very sentimental guy. It’s wrong. Yeah, hugs make him feel nervous if they go on too long, and feelings? He’s spent most of his life avoiding those altogether. So when Stan sees you crying, his first reaction is to freeze. He’s really lost. And it’s you, so he can’t just brush it off or pretend it’ll go away. Not when you’re standing there, your shoulders shaking like that.

“Aw, kid. . .” he finally steps closer, rubbing the back of his neck, clearly feeling out of place. His eyes flicker over you, taking in your trembling hands, the hiccuping breaths.

He doesn't ask you for an explanation, he doesn't force you to pour out your soul. He knows that sometimes silence is better than any conversation, but the way he rubs slow circles into your back, the way his chin rests atop your head, you know he’s there. It's not very graceful embrace. It’s more like you’re getting wrapped up in a bear hug that’s meant to keep the rest of the world out. He squeezes you tight, maybe a little too tight, because that’s all he knows how to do. Hold on and hope it helps.

“Shh, it’s alright. I gotcha,” he mutters into your hair, though he sure as hell doesn’t know how to handle your tears, but he’s trying. “Whoever made you feel like this? I’ll knock ‘em into next Tuesday, swear to god.”

You let out a half-laugh, half-sob at that, and he pulls back just enough to glance down at you, raising an eyebrow like he’s confused by the sound. “What? You think I’m joking? I’ll even wear brass knuckles for the occasion.” his thumb brushes away a stray tear. He frowns, like maybe he’s mad at himself for not fixing it faster, for not knowing what to say to make it all go away. “C’mon, sweetie,” now his voice a little softer, “You’re tougher than this. You’ve got me. Ain’t nobody messes with you when I’m around, okay?”

“It’s. . . It’s so stupid, Stan, i don’t even know-“ you try to explain, sobbing and bursting into tears.

“Tell me, who do I gotta rough up for this? ’Cause I can call in some favors. I know a guy who knows a guy.”

You sniffle, laugh breaking through and he grins at that, just a little. He hates seeing you cry, but getting you to smile, even if it’s weak, that’s the goal.

“There we go,” he says, all smug and proud. “See? That’s better. You keep cryin’ like that and I’m gonna have to start cryin’, and trust me, you don’t wanna see that. I’m an ugly crier.”

Stan stares at you a bit longer than usual before continuing. “You know, tears aren’t your best look,” he says after a moment, his thumb brushes your cheek, wiping your tears in a way that’s more careful, gentle, than you’d expect. “You’ve got a real pretty face, baby, but it’s kinda hard to see it through all this mess.”

You laugh, even if just a little, because that’s. . . That’s just Stan. He’ll drag you out of your darkest moments, even if he has to fight the whole damn world to do it.

Ford

Ford is a man of deep thought, logic and intellect. But when he sees you break down in front of him, crying softly, trembling and sobbing, it shakes something in him that’s far beyond logic. His heart stumbles. The man who’s faced interdimensional monsters, who’s braved the edges of space and time, suddenly feels lost when he sees you like this.

At first, he doesn’t move. He’s watching you, brow furrowed, processing. Ford wants to understand, to fix, but emotions aren’t equations and you are something far more complex than anything described in his journals.

“Hey. . . hey,” he whispers, finally reaching out, his voice soft, calm, quiet. He’s cautious, careful, like he’s afraid of overwhelming you. His hand hovers for a moment before settling lightly on your arm. “What’s wrong? what happened?” Ford asks because he needs to know. He needs to dissect the situation, to piece together what’s hurting you so he can find a solution. But there’s more to it than just answers for him.

When you can’t quite form words, when your tears keep spilling, he gently pulls you closer, his hand resting on your back as he guides you to sit with him. His touch is gentle as he slowly, soothingly runs his thumb over your shoulder.

“You don’t have to talk yet,” he speaks, his breath brushing against your temple. “I’m here.” and those words, so simple, carry so much weight coming from him. Because Ford isn’t a man who offers empty promises. If he says he’s here, he means it in every sense.

And then, because Ford can’t help the way his mind works, he begins talking in that soothing voice of his. “You know,” he starts in a thoughtful tone. “tears are a natural response to emotional stress. It’s. . . it’s a sign of strength, not weakness. Your body is releasing what it can’t hold anymore.”

Ford is not trying to seem all smart and logical, it’s just how he comforts, by giving you the understanding you deserve, by showing you that it’s okay to feel everything you’re feeling, by explaining you. And when you hear him, his hand moves to gently wipe away your tears with the pad of his thumb, so careful, like he’s touching something sacred.

“Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out together,” Ford promises you. “You’re not alone in this.” he kisses your forehead, slowly, letting you feel his presence. And when you’re breathing just a little steadier, Ford tilts your chin up, his eyes searching yours, and there’s nothing but warmth in his gaze. “You’re going to be alright.” he says, and somehow, you know he means it.

[qqueenofhades]

This is dark, and I totally understand if you’re not comfortable answering this, but I genuinely feel like you’re the best person to ask.

How do I stay informed without spiraling into this absolutely unhealthy, blood boiling and borderline mouth frothing anger?

I feel like a barely follow anything any more so cutting down media consumption isn’t an answer, but in the small bit of news I saw tonight I’m literally hot to the touch and having an invasive thought spiral of “Why isn’t he dead? Someone needs to kill him! SOMEONE KILL HIM! KILL HIM KILL HIM KILL KILL KILL MAIM UNTIL THERES NO REDS LEFT FOR THE SAKE OF US PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD KILL THEM ALREADY-“

This isn’t healthy. I know it isn’t healthy. But even knowing the statistics of non-violent revolution vs violent revolution, I can’t help but feel like we’re watching a trolley problem unfold in the worst ways because the modern population is a bunch of cowards.

This isn’t helped at all by the fact I have personal reasons from the last admin that I need to see them SUFFER. And far worse than just some dealership fires.

Oh hon. Please recognize that I am only a tired middle-aged queer academic on the internet with no formal medical or psychological credentials and thus am definitely not the best person to help you here, but because you have said that you value my opinion and trust my advice, I hope that you will consider what I say and see what you can do. (It is hard. It is super hard. I know.)

First, please consider whether you need to be informed. I know that a lot of us have guilt complexes around "consuming" the "right kind of news" and having the "right kind of opinions," because social media has beaten it into us that is the only way to Do Activism (wrong). If you're feeling so completely wrung-out right now that even a little information is overwhelming you, you can just not look, period. That is okay to do. If you need permission from Someone On The Internet to just cold-turkey yourself, then this is it. If you want to stay on Tumblr but can't take seeing any political/news content at all, then you can block, unfollow, tag-and-content screen (remember that you can do more than just block tags; you can block any words that you don't want to see), literally whatever you need. You can block the usernames of people who consistently post political content that distresses you, even if you agree with it. You are not obligated to be constantly informed to the point of trauma. You do not owe anyone a social media presence, or your attention, or so forth. After all, you alone can't do a whole lot to change it, and you need to take care of yourself. We are in a shitty, shitty time right now. Things real bad.

That said, it sounds to me as if you also need to take the next step and get some proper support, especially because you recognize that these thoughts are intrusive, spiraling, and unhealthy but don't feel as if you can stop them on your own. Uncontrollable rage response is a common PTSD symptom, and we are all hella traumatized right now, for literally every imaginable reason. This is a real mental health issue and not just something that you can control by screening your internet content/news consumption/social media presence further, though that might help. So I would really suggest that you start the process of finding a therapist or similar other medical professional who is trained to help and support you and who can offer structured resources that friends and even random well-meaning Tumblr users such as myself can't. It sounds scary and difficult, but it's not, you can do a bit at a time, and it will be necessary so you don't feel so completely raged-out and shaken and scared all the time.

If you have health insurance, you can go on your provider's page and easily make a list of nearby doctors for different kinds of issues, i.e. in this case mental health and counseling. Many of them have extra identity-or practice-specific information listed (such as "LGBTQ-friendly" or "great bedside manner" or "does telehealth appointments" and so forth) and you can also read the reviews for individual practitioners to see if they sound like someone who might be the right fit for you. In other words, you can do a lot of screening even before you arrive in their office and see if they're someone you might be able to work with and open up to. (And as noted, many of them also have virtual options if Zoom feels less threatening for an initial contact.) Make sure that they ARE in-network because you don't want to get socked by expensive appointment fees (health insurance sucks etc), but if you don't have insurance or only a very basic coverage level, you can also search for local or community health-center practitioners who might be able to offer sliding-scale fees or major discounts. There are usually affordable options if you do a bit of looking. If you are at a university in any fashion, make use of the student health and counseling centers. They are there for you!

As I said: things are just flat out terrible right now, and we can't do much about it on an individual level, but we still have to figure out how to take care of ourselves and get through it somehow. Please do not feel guilty if what you need to do right now is go into total news blackout and get some professional help. That is honestly the least of what could be expected from living every day in a stupid and traumatizing situation like this one, and there are plenty of other people who will carry on fighting back while you are tapping out to do some self-care. You do not have to do this alone.

Eventually, you may be able to regain some equilibrium and plan out how you're going to manage the next few weeks/months/years, how you're going to find joy in small things, how you're going to plan to continue living your life even in the face of rampant murderous and unavoidable idiocy, etc. This may or may not be comforting, but as a historian, I can attest that people of previous generations have pretty much always thought the world was ending due to [insert stupid issue du jour.] That, unfortunately, is the story of humanity in a nutshell, and until we break that cycle, it's going to continue that way. However, the bright side is that the world has not ended and has gone onward, and the odds are decent that it will do so again this time. I can't offer much more than that, but I think that's important.

Courage. Take care of yourself. We can do this together. Stay strong. Much love. I am proud of you.

[dontbesoweirdkira]

Platonic..Yan! Bruce Wayne w/ new robin darling

warnings: Dysfunctional family dynamics, manipulation, emotional abuse, narcissism, delusion, kidnapping ect. I used experiences from my own family dynamics. My own father pinned me against my other siblings and did similar things so i guess this is personal lolll. Maybe others can relate too? Not romanticizing!!! but i do think yan! father Bruce would be mental like this.

Anyone going through parents like this, just know you're not alone. You can escape eventually. I did, so will you.

Masterlist

Requests? Always open

Yandere Bruce Wayne is a self righteous prick with an intense savior complex. So much entitlement for just one man Bruce, being dissatisfied with his current children's rebellion, needed someone new to traumatize. That someone is you. He noticed you instantly. A shy kid he encountered at one of his charity events. How "naive" and "dumb" his new batchild was. You're weak...and lonely...you're a helpless soul in need of saving. You're a perfect subject to wipe clean and reshape into his new robin.

According to him at least.

Your siblings can see just how distorted and plain wrong his 'love' for you is. He had the same kind for them too. They are all way too familiar with his process.

First he bombards you with praise. You're such a smart and amazing kid! So strong too. He's never seen anything like it.

Then isolation..Maybe you'd like to live with him and his other children for a little bit? It's a perfect, fun life here and he can dump so much money into your future in exchange for a few months of training. Its all temporary, you'll be back to mommy and daddy in no time.

Yeah lies.

He keeps you longer than the agreed time while giving your parents bullshit answers as to why they can't contact you. He tells them it could breach security if they call you but they keep on pushing back. He tries to pay them off and threatens them which ends up in them going to court to fight for you. The whole time he was making a case of child neglect and completely screwed them over. They lose custody and you're his to keep. He keeps this on the down low and ensures this won't hit the airwaves. Naturally, you ask him about going home. You never did get those weekends with your parents that he promised...and wasn't this only supposed to be up to six months?? It's almost been a year now. Why haven't you received a call? A text?...nothing? This is starting to make you get a knot in your stomach. *deep sigh*

Sorrows. Prayers.

Next is the re-programing/gaslighting. Your family was perfectly fine. More than loving and providing for you, you had a happy nuclear family..maybe a little unconventional in some ways but it was fine. You missed them dearly, you didn't understand why they suddenly are absent? Why did they just leave you here? Why couldn't you leave this place? Bruce is so twisted and his power he holds enables this false reality that he lives in. He projects his childhood and fragments of the other kids lives onto you. He'd drill it into you for hours that they never loved you, they begged him for money in exchange for you. They didn't care for the responsibility of you and were overjoyed by this way out. Though truthfully this was for the best anyways...they were dysfunctional and dangerous. They were setting you up for failure and your new dad just had to step in.... Can't you see? The memories you had of them were all false. You was living in a dream. Sorry to tell you, but it's probably best to not think too hard on it and embrace this new life of yours...it's meant for you. Are you being a brat and not accepting what he's telling you? How dare you declare him a liar. He's not the one who abandoned you. He saved you and he'd be a horrible parent if he let you go back to those criminals! Be grateful for what he's given you.

Manipulation, fear tactics and torture are all used to keep you in check when you ask about your family or try to escape because you know something is wrong. He runs you into mental circles until you're confused and disoriented

This is your new family now. He is your new dad now. You don't need them. You're his daughter and only his. Get in line, Robin.

Yandere Bruce whose next step in the plan is to play favorites with you over the other batkids in order to gain your trust. It's to give you an untruthful version of what life is actually like here when you're his robin. He purposefully spends more time with you, allowing you to fully get your way and defends you in bickers between the other kids. Sometimes he'll even pin you against each other if that works. You don't know better though. You think your siblings are bitter because you're better than they ever were at your age. But never being enough for Bruce eventually gets to you.

You're his shiny, new golden child in the making. He will perfect you. Your mind will be cleansed of all that filth in the world you've seen. Forget all you know for what he will teach you. What he's failed to perfect with the others, he'll accomplish with you.

Uh oh...you're starting to displease Batman. Don't worry...this is the second to last step. He steadily shows disapproval and acts like there's something wrong with you. Maybe he was wrong about you? Maybe you aren't meant to be great like the others because you are barely average right now. Just look at how scarred you are after one night on patrol...worse than Jason on his first night. You'll become dependent on his approval like the rest but you cannot seem to escape the look of disappointment from his face. The scoldings only seems to worsen.

He then comes around, but patronizing this time...coddling you with every step. The way you perform is showing him you aren't able to do anything for yourself. You're weak again. You're nothing but you're lucky to still be in his care because there's still a chance. He can fix you but it's going to take a lot of work. Can his new robin endure it or should he kick you out and leave you to the wolves? He knows the answer you'll choose as you're desperate for his fatherly love. He'll break you then rebuild you and break you some more until you're exactly who he wants you to be.

Coming after the greats means you're expected to excel past them....quickly. Don't embarrass him or he'll get another.

[alittlegiraffe]

Title: 5 Times Marshall Thought He Was Having Another Daughter (+1 Time He Got a Boy)

@marshall-is-my-huband you're a menace

1. The Time He Just Assumed

From the moment you told him you were pregnant again, Marshall had zero doubt—it was another girl.

Why wouldn’t it be? His whole life had been filled with women. His mom, his daughters, you. The universe had a pattern, and he wasn’t about to argue with it.

So, when Hailie asked, “Do you think it’s a boy or a girl?” he didn’t even hesitate.

“Girl,” he said, confident.

You raised an eyebrow. “You don’t know that.”

“I don’t need to,” he smirked. “It’s a girl. Watch.”

You just laughed, shaking your head.

2. The Time He Caught Himself Calling the Baby ‘She’

You were about sixteen weeks along when he caught himself doing it.

“Damn, she’s got a strong kick already,” he muttered, his hand resting against your stomach.

You blinked. “You’re already calling the baby ‘she’?”

He shrugged. “Force of habit.”

You gave him a knowing look. “More like stubbornness.”

“Same thing.”

You rolled your eyes, but he could tell you were amused.

3. The Time the Ultrasound Tech Messed with Him

The anatomy scan was supposed to give you answers. Instead, it gave Marshall a mild heart attack.

The tech smiled as she moved the wand over your belly. “So, do you want to know the gender?”

“Yes,” Marshall answered before you could even breathe.

The tech smirked. “Well… looks like you’re having a—” She paused, eyes scanning the screen.

Marshall’s heart pounded.

��—baby.”

You laughed. He did not.

“Lady, I swear—”

She chuckled, finally taking pity on him. “I think I can tell, but let me get a better angle first.”

Marshall exhaled, rubbing his face. He had never been so stressed in his life.

4. The Time He Saw the Nursery and Just Knew

Before the gender reveal, you had started browsing nursery themes. Every time you showed him something, it was always soft, neutral colors—nothing too girly, nothing too boyish.

But then, one day, you left a pastel floral design open on your laptop.

Marshall smirked. “So, you do think it’s a girl.”

You looked up. “I don’t know—I just like this one.”

He crossed his arms. “Nah, you know.”

You rolled your eyes. “Fine, if it’s a girl, we can do something like this.”

“If?” he scoffed. “When.”

5. The Time He Got Too Cocky

The night before your gender reveal, he placed a hand on your belly, smirking. “Alright, little girl, tomorrow we make it official.”

You gave him a look. “You know, if this baby is a boy, he’s gonna have a complex.”

Marshall shook his head. “Ain’t no ‘if.’”

“You’re so sure.”

“Baby, I’d bet money on it.”

You just smiled, resting your hand over his. “Guess we’ll see.”

+1. The Time He Was Completely Wrong

The second the balloon popped, revealing blue confetti, Marshall went silent.

For the first time in his entire life, he had nothing to say.

He just stared at the tiny bits of blue paper falling around him, his brain taking an extra five seconds to process.

You, meanwhile, were laughing. Hard.

“I told you!” you gasped, wiping tears from your eyes. “You were so confident!”

Marshall turned to Hailie, who was grinning like she had been waiting for this moment her whole life. “What the hell am I gonna do with a boy?”

She smirked. “Guess you’ll have to figure it out, Dad.”

He turned back to you, eyes still wide. “A boy?”

You nodded, absolutely beaming. “A boy, babe.”

And then, finally, the shock melted away, and something else took its place.

Something warm. Something terrifying.

Something exciting.

He exhaled, rubbing his face, before pulling you into his arms.

“A boy,” he repeated, this time with a smile.

Maybe he hadn’t seen it coming.

But damn if he wasn’t ready for it.

[ayyy-imma-ninja]

What is your opinion about the Nexus arc?

Was honestly wondering when I’d get asked this haha /lh

The whole arc is a giant headache for me.

Both sides—Nexus and the family—are right and wrong, and no side is more right or wrong than the other. The situation is complex and complicated for a reason.

A lot of the frustration comes from the audience having more information than the characters do, and then getting upset when those characters act or say or do the opposite of what we hope for. “They should have done this, they should have said that,” etc etc. It’s easy for us to see where they were wrong, but it’s impossible for the characters to know what we know or else it becomes meta.

I understand how Nexus got to where he is now, I understand his thought process somewhat, but I don’t feel much sympathy for him. Whether or not that changes depends on his actions. He’s very aware of his choices and knows what he’s doing. Nexus can stop at any time and chooses not to.

This maybe could have been prevented if the family learned to communicate better. It’s always communication. Which Nexus failed to do when asked if he was okay, and lied instead of being honest.

Idk how it will end. He needs to be stopped, but I don’t think he will die. Death and killing, as we have seen in the past, isn’t always the answer. I honestly hope he comes to his senses, with Sun’s help, and willingly goes with the astrals to be imprisoned for his crimes and perhaps even rehabilitated.

But he will never be part of the family again.

(as stated in the ask, this is just my opinion and my stance on the situation, so plz no arguments or debates in the tags)

[mostlysignssomeportents]

In defense of bureaucratic competence

Sure, sometimes it really does make sense to do your own research. There's times when you really do need to take personal responsibility for the way things are going. But there's limits. We live in a highly technical world, in which hundreds of esoteric, potentially lethal factors impinge on your life every day.

You can't "do your own research" to figure out whether all that stuff is safe and sound. Sure, you might be able to figure out whether a contractor's assurances about a new steel joist for your ceiling are credible, but after you do that, are you also going to independently audit the software in your car's antilock brakes?

How about the nutritional claims on your food and the sanitary conditions in the industrial kitchen it came out of? If those turn out to be inadequate, are you going to be able to validate the medical advice you get in the ER when you show up at 3AM with cholera? While you're trying to figure out the #HIPAAWaiver they stuck in your hand on the way in?

40 years ago, Ronald Reagan declared war on "the administrative state," and "government bureaucrats" have been the favored bogeyman of the American right ever since. Even if Steve Bannon hasn't managed to get you to froth about the "Deep State," there's a good chance that you've griped about red tape from time to time.

Not without reason, mind you. The fact that the government can make good rules doesn't mean it will. When we redid our kitchen this year, the city inspector added a bunch of arbitrary electrical outlets to the contractor's plans in places where neither we, nor any future owner, will every need them.

But the answer to bad regulation isn't no regulation. During the same kitchen reno, our contractor discovered that at some earlier time, someone had installed our kitchen windows without the accompanying vapor-barriers. In the decades since, the entire structure of our kitchen walls had rotted out. Not only was the entire front of our house one good earthquake away from collapsing – there were two half rotted verticals supporting the whole thing – but replacing the rotted walls added more than $10k to the project.

In other words, the problem isn't too much regulation, it's the wrong regulation. I want our city inspectors to make sure that contractors install vapor barriers, but to not demand superfluous electrical outlets.

Which raises the question: where do regulations come from? How do we get them right?

Regulation is, first and foremost, a truth-seeking exercise. There will never be one obvious answer to any sufficiently technical question. "Should this window have a vapor barrier?" is actually a complex question, needing to account for different window designs, different kinds of barriers, etc.

To make a regulation, regulators ask experts to weigh in. At the federal level, expert agencies like the DoT or the FCC or HHS will hold a "Notice of Inquiry," which is a way to say, "Hey, should we do something about this? If so, what should we do?"

Anyone can weigh in on these: independent technical experts, academics, large companies, lobbyists, industry associations, members of the public, hobbyist groups, and swivel-eyed loons. This produces a record from which the regulator crafts a draft regulation, which is published in something called a "Notice of Proposed Rulemaking."

The NPRM process looks a lot like the NOI process: the regulator publishes the rule, the public weighs in for a couple of rounds of comments, and the regulator then makes the rule (this is the federal process; state regulation and local ordinances vary, but they follow a similar template of collecting info, making a proposal, collecting feedback and finalizing the proposal).

These truth-seeking exercises need good input. Even very competent regulators won't know everything, and even the strongest theoretical foundation needs some evidence from the field. It's one thing to say, "Here's how your antilock braking software should work," but you also need to hear from mechanics who service cars, manufacturers, infosec specialists and drivers.

These people will disagree with each other, for good reasons and for bad ones. Some will be sincere but wrong. Some will want to make sure that their products or services are required – or that their competitors' products and services are prohibited.

It's the regulator's job to sort through these claims. But they don't have to go it alone: in an ideal world, the wrong people will be corrected by other parties in the docket, who will back up their claims with evidence.

So when the FCC proposes a Net Neutrality rule, the monopoly telcos and cable operators will pile in and insist that this is technically impossible, that there is no way to operate a functional ISP if the network management can't discriminate against traffic that is less profitable to the carrier. Now, this unity of perspective might reflect a bedrock truth ("Net Neutrality can't work") or a monopolists' convenient lie ("Net Neutrality is less profitable for us").

In a competitive market, there'd be lots of counterclaims with evidence from rivals: "Of course Net Neutrality is feasible, and here are our server logs to prove it!" But in a monopolized markets, those counterclaims come from micro-scale ISPs, or academics, or activists, or subscribers. These counterclaims are easy to dismiss ("what do you know about supporting 100 million users?"). That's doubly true when the regulator is motivated to give the monopolists what they want – either because they are hoping for a job in the industry after they quit government service, or because they came out of industry and plan to go back to it.

To make things worse, when an industry is heavily concentrated, it's easy for members of the ruling cartel – and their backers in government – to claim that the only people who truly understand the industry are its top insiders. Seen in that light, putting an industry veteran in charge of the industry's regulator isn't corrupt – it's sensible.

All of this leads to regulatory capture – when a regulator starts defending an industry from the public interest, instead of defending the public from the industry. The term "regulatory capture" has a checkered history. It comes out of a bizarre, far-right Chicago School ideology called "Public Choice Theory," whose goal is to eliminate regulation, not fix it.

In Public Choice Theory, the biggest companies in an industry have the strongest interest in capturing the regulator, and they will work harder – and have more resources – than anyone else, be they members of the public, workers, or smaller rivals. This inevitably leads to capture, where the state becomes an arm of the dominant companies, wielded by them to prevent competition:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/06/05/regulatory-capture/

This is regulatory nihilism. It supposes that the only reason you weren't killed by your dinner, or your antilock brakes, or your collapsing roof, is that you just got lucky – and not because we have actual, good, sound regulations that use evidence to protect us from the endless lethal risks we face. These nihilists suppose that making good regulation is either a myth – like ancient Egyptian sorcery – or a lost art – like the secret to embalming Pharaohs.

But it's clearly possible to make good regulations – especially if you don't allow companies to form monopolies or cartels. What's more, failing to make public regulations isn't the same as getting rid of regulation. In the absence of public regulation, we get private regulation, run by companies themselves.

Think of Amazon. For decades, the DoJ and FTC sat idly by while Amazon assembled and fortified its monopoly. Today, Amazon is the de facto e-commerce regulator. The company charges its independent sellers 45-51% in junk fees to sell on the platform, including $31b/year in "advertising" to determine who gets top billing in your searches. Vendors raise their Amazon prices in order to stay profitable in the face of these massive fees, and if they don't raise their prices at every other store and site, Amazon downranks them to oblivion, putting them out of business.

This is the crux of the FTC's case against Amazon: that they are picking winners and setting prices across the entire economy, including at every other retailer:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/25/greedflation/#commissar-bezos

The same is true for Google/Facebook, who decide which news and views you encounter; for Apple/Google, who decide which apps you can use, and so on. The choice is never "government regulation" or "no regulation" – it's always "government regulation" or "corporate regulation." You either live by rules made in public by democratically accountable bureaucrats, or rules made in private by shareholder-accountable executives.

You just can't solve this by "voting with your wallet." Think about the problem of robocalls. Nobody likes these spam calls, and worse, they're a vector for all kinds of fraud. Robocalls are mostly a problem with federation. The phone system is a network-of-networks, and your carrier is interconnected with carriers all over the world, sometimes through intermediaries that make it hard to know which network a call originates on.

Some of these carriers are spam-friendly. They make money by selling access to spammers and scammers. Others don't like spam, but they have lax or inadequate security measures to prevent robocalls. Others will simply be targets of opportunity: so large and well-resourced that they are irresistible to bad actors, who continuously probe their defenses and exploit overlooked flaws, which are quickly patched.

To stem the robocall tide, your phone company will have to block calls from bad actors, put sloppy or lazy carriers on notice to shape up or face blocks, and also tell the difference between good companies and bad ones.

There's no way you can figure this out on your own. How can you know whether your carrier is doing a good job at this? And even if your carrier wants to do this, only the largest, most powerful companies can manage it. Rogue carriers won't give a damn if some tiny micro-phone-company threatens them with a block if they don't shape up.

This is something that a large, powerful government agency is best suited to addressing. And thankfully, we have such an agency. Two years ago, the FCC demanded that phone companies submit plans for "robocall mitigation." Now, it's taking action:

https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2023/10/telcos-filed-blank-robocall-plans-with-fcc-and-got-away-with-it-for-2-years/

Specifically, the FCC has identified carriers – in the US and abroad – with deficient plans. Some of these plans are very deficient. National Cloud Communications of Texas sent the FCC a Windows Printer Test Page. Evernex (Pakistan) sent the FCC its "taxpayer profile inquiry" from a Pakistani state website. Viettel (Vietnam) sent in a slide presentation entitled "Making Smart Cities Vision a Reality." Canada's Humbolt VoIP sent an "indiscernible object." DomainerSuite submitted a blank sheet of paper scrawled with the word "NOTHING."

The FCC has now notified these carriers – and others with less egregious but still deficient submissions – that they have 14 days to fix this or they'll be cut off from the US telephone network.

This is a problem you don't fix with your wallet, but with your ballot. Effective, public-interest-motivated FCC regulators are a political choice. Trump appointed the cartoonishly evil Ajit Pai to run the FCC, and he oversaw a program of neglect and malice. Pai – a former Verizon lawyer – dismantled Net Neutrality after receiving millions of obviously fraudulent comments from stolen identities, lying about it, and then obstructing the NY Attorney General's investigation into the matter:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/08/31/and-drown-it/#starve-the-beast

The Biden administration has a much better FCC – though not as good as it could be, thanks to Biden hanging Gigi Sohn out to dry in the face of a homophobic smear campaign that ultimately led one of the best qualified nominees for FCC commissioner to walk away from the process:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/12/15/useful-idiotsuseful-idiots/#unrequited-love

Notwithstanding the tragic loss of Sohn's leadership in this vital agency, Biden's FCC – and its action on robocalls – illustrates the value of elections won with ballots, not wallets.

Self-regulation without state regulation inevitably devolves into farce. We're a quarter of a century into the commercial internet and the US still doesn't have a modern federal privacy law. The closest we've come is a disclosure rule, where companies can make up any policy they want, provided they describe it to you.

It doesn't take a genius to figure out how to cheat on this regulation. It's so simple, even a Meta lawyer can figure it out – which is why the Meta Quest VR headset has a privacy policy isn't merely awful, but long.

It will take you five hours to read the whole document and discover how badly you're being screwed. Go ahead, "do your own research":

https://foundation.mozilla.org/en/privacynotincluded/articles/annual-creep-o-meter/

The answer to bad regulation is good regulation, and the answer to incompetent regulators is competent ones. As Michael Lewis's Fifth Risk (published after Trump filled the administrative agencies with bootlickers, sociopaths and crooks) documented, these jobs demand competence:

https://memex.craphound.com/2018/11/27/the-fifth-risk-michael-lewis-explains-how-the-deep-state-is-just-nerds-versus-grifters/

For example, Lewis describes how a Washington State nuclear waste facility created as part of the Manhattan Project endangers the Columbia River, the source of 8 million Americans' drinking water. The nuclear waste cleanup is projected to take 100 years and cost 100 billion dollars. With stakes that high, we need competent bureaucrats overseeing the job.

The hacky conservative jokes comparing every government agency to the DMV are not descriptive so much as prescriptive. By slashing funding, imposing miserable working conditions, and demonizing the people who show up for work anyway, neoliberals have chased away many good people, and hamstrung those who stayed.

One of the most inspiring parts of the Biden administration is the large number of extremely competent, extremely principled agency personnel he appointed, and the speed and competence they've brought to their roles, to the great benefit of the American public:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/18/administrative-competence/#i-know-stuff

But leaders can only do so much – they also need staff. 40 years of attacks on US state capacity has left the administrative state in tatters, stretched paper-thin. In an excellent article, Noah Smith describes how a starveling American bureaucracy costs the American public a fortune:

https://www.noahpinion.blog/p/america-needs-a-bigger-better-bureaucracy

Even stripped of people and expertise, the US government still needs to get stuff done, so it outsources to nonprofits and consultancies. These are the source of much of the expense and delay in public projects. Take NYC's Second Avenue subway, a notoriously overbudget and late subway extension – "the most expensive mile of subway ever built." Consultants amounted to 20% of its costs, double what France or Italy would have spent. The MTA used to employ 1,600 project managers. Now it has 124 of them, overseeing $20b worth of projects. They hand that money to consultants, and even if they have the expertise to oversee the consultants' spending, they are stretched too thin to do a good job of it:

https://slate.com/business/2023/02/subway-costs-us-europe-public-transit-funds.html

When a public agency lacks competence, it ends up costing the public more. States with highly expert Departments of Transport order better projects, which need fewer changes, which adds up to massive costs savings and superior roads:

https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=4522676

Other gaps in US regulation are plugged by nonprofits and citizen groups. Environmental rules like NEPA rely on the public to identify and object to environmental risks in public projects, from solar plants to new apartment complexes. NEPA and its state equivalents empower private actors to sue developers to block projects, even if they satisfy all environmental regulations, leading to years of expensive delay.

The answer to this isn't to dismantle environmental regulations – it's to create a robust expert bureaucracy that can enforce them instead of relying on NIMBYs. This is called "ministerial approval" – when skilled government workers oversee environmental compliance. Predictably, NIMBYs hate ministerial approval.

Which is not to say that there aren't problems with trusting public enforcers to ensure that big companies are following the law. Regulatory capture is real, and the more concentrated an industry is, the greater the risk of capture. We are living in a moment of shocking market concentration, thanks to 40 years of under-regulation:

https://www.openmarketsinstitute.org/learn/monopoly-by-the-numbers

Remember that five-hour privacy policy for a Meta VR headset? One answer to these eye-glazing garbage novellas presented as "privacy policies" is to simply ban certain privacy-invading activities. That way, you can skip the policy, knowing that clicking "I agree" won't expose you to undue risk.

This is the approach that Bennett Cyphers and I argue for in our EFF white-paper, "Privacy Without Monopoly":

https://www.eff.org/wp/interoperability-and-privacy

After all, even the companies that claim to be good for privacy aren't actually very good for privacy. Apple blocked Facebook from spying on iPhone owners, then sneakily turned on their own mass surveillance system, and lied about it:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/14/luxury-surveillance/#liar-liar

But as the European experiment with the GDPR has shown, public administrators can't be trusted to have the final word on privacy, because of regulatory capture. Big Tech companies like Google, Apple and Facebook pretend to be headquartered in corporate crime havens like Ireland and Luxembourg, where the regulators decline to enforce the law:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/05/15/finnegans-snooze/#dirty-old-town

It's only because of the GPDR has a private right of action – the right of individuals to sue to enforce their rights – that we're finally seeing the beginning of the end of commercial surveillance in Europe:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2022/07/americans-deserve-more-current-american-data-privacy-protection-act

It's true that NIMBYs can abuse private rights of action, bringing bad faith cases to slow or halt good projects. But just as the answer to bad regulations is good ones, so too is the answer to bad private rights of action good ones. SLAPP laws have shown us how to balance vexatious litigation with the public interest:

https://www.rcfp.org/resources/anti-slapp-laws/

We must get over our reflexive cynicism towards public administration. In my book The Internet Con, I lay out a set of public policy proposals for dismantling Big Tech and putting users back in charge of their digital lives:

https://www.versobooks.com/products/3035-the-internet-con

The most common objection I've heard since publishing the book is, "Sure, Big Tech has enshittified everything great about the internet, but how can we trust the government to fix it?"

We've been conditioned to think that lawmakers are too old, too calcified and too corrupt, to grasp the technical nuances required to regulate the internet. But just because Congress isn't made up of computer scientists, it doesn't mean that they can't pass good laws relating to computers. Congress isn't full of microbiologists, but we still manage to have safe drinking water (most of the time).

You can't just "do the research" or "vote with your wallet" to fix the internet. Bad laws – like the DMCA, which bans most kinds of reverse engineering – can land you in prison just for reconfiguring your own devices to serve you, rather than the shareholders of the companies that made them. You can't fix that yourself – you need a responsive, good, expert, capable government to fix it.

We can have that kind of government. It'll take some doing, because these questions are intrinsically hard to get right even without monopolies trying to capture their regulators. Even a president as flawed as Biden can be pushed into nominating good administrative personnel and taking decisive, progressive action:

https://doctorow.medium.com/joe-biden-is-headed-to-a-uaw-picket-line-in-detroit-f80bd0b372ab?sk=f3abdfd3f26d2f615ad9d2f1839bcc07

Biden may not be doing enough to suit your taste. I'm certainly furious with aspects of his presidency. The point isn't to lionize Biden – it's to point out that even very flawed leaders can be pushed into producing benefit for the American people. Think of how much more we can get if we don't give up on politics but instead demand even better leaders.

My next novel is The Lost Cause, coming out on November 14. It's about a generation of people who've grown up under good government – a historically unprecedented presidency that has passed the laws and made the policies we'll need to save our species and planet from the climate emergency:

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250865939/the-lost-cause

The action opens after the pendulum has swung back, with a new far-right presidency and an insurgency led by white nationalist militias and their offshore backers – seagoing anarcho-capitalist billionaires.

In the book, these forces figure out how to turn good regulations against the people they were meant to help. They file hundreds of simultaneous environmental challenges to refugee housing projects across the country, blocking the infill building that is providing homes for the people whose homes have been burned up in wildfires, washed away in floods, or rendered uninhabitable by drought.

I don't want to spoil the book here, but it shows how the protagonists pursue a multipronged defense, mixing direct action, civil disobedience, mass protest, court challenges and political pressure to fight back. What they don't do is give up on state capacity. When the state is corrupted by wreckers, they claw back control, rather than giving up on the idea of a competent and benevolent public system.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/23/getting-stuff-done/#praxis

[randomly--accessed--memories]

So, I work in a first-grade classroom, and this morning, I had a dream about RAM!Vox having to fill out a child's worksheet for some reason (something like this), and now I'm thinking about the Vees' doctors running tests on Vox during year two to try to determine what the hell is going on with him.

Vox is just as intelligent as he was before the broadcast (although he has no knowledge of things created after 1957/1966), but his organizational abilities are a complete mess.

He either rushes to get through whatever task is presented to him or is so inattentive that he needs constant prompting in order to finish it.

He'll get simple questions wrong not because he doesn't know the answer but because he's not taking time to read the whole text or fully consider what's being asked.

He mostly writes in very hard-to-read cursive– lifting the pencil to write in print would take too much time.

His memory is completely shot, obviously. On good days, his working memory is functional enough that he can accurately recount information given to him under an hour ago. On bad days, he loses track of what he's doing mid-activity. It's hard to tell which information will stick in his mind (short-term) and which will be thrown out. Sometimes, he'll be able to recall tiny, irrelevant details about a text/experience but not the core content.

Vox is still capable of complex planning, but his ability to follow through on said plans is poor. When he's manic, he'll come up with super elaborate ideas but will either forget or lose interest in them not long after.

It's almost impossible for him to sit still when not in front of a screen. The fidgeting never seems to stop. He can't abide silence either; if there's no noise, he'll make some.

Most of the time, Vox doesn't seem to notice how all-over-the-place he is. However, there are times (usually on otherwise good days) when he gets extremely frustrated with his inability to complete certain tasks. He knows what he wants to do/what steps he needs to take in order to do it, but the constant noise in his head makes it difficult to process information and see the task through to the end. He feels incredibly insecure about his struggles (when he's aware of them) and will either lash out at the person questioning him or start berating himself internally for being "stupid"/"weak."

[clutching-our-plurals]

wow, you're soooooo mature for thinking kids are stupid and unable to make proper decisions and understand themselves . you do realize stating that people under 13 can't know they're systems is incredibly similar to transphobic reasonings for why kids shouldn't be allowed to even socially transition. and hey do you have a source that proves that people who identify as systems under the age of 13 often tend to stop identifying that way? you clearly look down on kids as lesser and it'd be great if you fixed that.

Wow. If you were in the Olympics, I think they'd give you a gold metal for those mental gymnastics. Stunning form.

Anon is referring to this previous post about my stance on endogenic systems.

Okay, to the people that aren't this anon, yes, I was momentarily fooled. This almost sounds like a reasonable argument. Uuuunntil you realize they're comparing gender identity to mental illness. Which is... completely ridiculous. Children under the age of 13 exploring their gender identity is not comparable, nor can it be equated to children under the age of 13 having a dissociative disorder causing plurality.

Also, chat... a reminder, real quick, I'M TRANS. Agender/nonby, and completely socially transitioned. I've known i was genderqueer since I was about 7, and out to my family since I was about 13. I didn't realize I was plural until I was about late 15 or early 16. For reference.

Anyway, I guess what they think I was saying when I said "yeah so people under about 13 don't have developed personalities so it is difficult to accurately diagnose... until after that age marker has passed, for the exact same reason that someone can't develop DID or OSDD after about the age of 13," (feel free to correct me if I'm even slightly wrong there) is that kids can't be mentally ill. Which is obviously not true and yes would be very stupid to say. But i didn't say that, anon just lacks the literacy to understand what i did say. All this ask says to me is that this person knows little about plurality.

And when I said, "children under the age of 16 are not of forming and processing complex opinions on the same level as adults," they must've equated that to me saying that kids are not intelligent. (Intellegence being the capability to take in information and learn and grow) That's obviously not true.

So. To adress that, I don't look down on kids or see them as lesser.

But it's a good conversation. One that is also complex, and nuanced, and that I enjoy having. So, detailed answer and a screenshot of the section of my post anon is talking about below the cut, so this post doesn't take up too much space ⬇️⬇️⬇️

The screenshot of the section they're talking about:

Continuing your regularly scheduled discussion:

I see them as saplings, wonderful as they are now, and with a great potential to grow strong, to put down roots and branch out.

I am the eldest sibling of five. Part of what made me a system was the responsibility put upon me to raise my younger siblings. Though it was an undue responsibility on my shoulders, I did cherish watching them grow and teaching them, and helping them to learn, and keeping them safe. I loved getting to teach the things I learned in a harder way. Because that's how it should be. Life should be easier for our kids than it was for us.

So I speak from experience when I say that Children are a gift, and they are also naive, and lack the experience that allows them to form nuanced opinions, and they have underdeveloped brains that cannot properly control their impulses. Two things can be true at once. That lacking experience and their underdeveloped brains are why they have adults in their lives, who should love them and take care of them... though I know a lot of people in our community didn't. Neither did I. But a child should never be responsible for their own safety and wellbeing, let alone another's. (Again that's a whole other complex and nuanced opinion)

I can have a great respect and love for children while also knowing and acknowledging that they aren't done growing and that it is my responsibility as an elder to help them learn and keep them safe while they do, whenever given that opprotunity. Not to punish them, or deny their experiences or emotions, or whatever else, but to uplift them, and listen to them, and treat them with mutual respect. I know that's a tough thing for a lot of us to assume, though. I understand.

The most important lesson I've learned growing up, is that you never stop growing. Which sounds simple, but the real lesson is this: That means, that every person has something to teach you. People that are younger than me, yes, I often teach them more, but I've learned a lot, and will no doubt continue to learn a lot, from them, too. I always keep my mind and heart open to that. There's nothing that makes me prouder than the children in my life helping me to learn something new. Because I'm teaching them how to teach, when they do that. One day they'll be where I am, doing what I am doing, and there is an obscene amount of wonder in that.

I'm no sage of infinite wisdom either. I have a lot to learn and I'm sure a lot of my opinions will change as I attain even more experience, but like I just said, just because older people exist, doesn't mean younger folks don't have something to teach. Every age comes with a unique perspective that can never quite be recreated, even in memory. Which is. Again, another incredibly complex and nuanced topic. If i went over them all in one post, no one would be able to read it all, even with my incredible charm and witty remarks. 😉

But back to anon, judging off your defensiveness and willingness to jump the gun with this ask, I'm going to guess that you're on the younger side, so Anon, look after yourself, be smart, and don't jump to conclusions. That's what you can learn from me.

[maltmealo]

Chapter 8: ampullae of lorenzini

"Ouch."

"Ouch? I just punched you and all you have to say is ouch?"

"Yeah, you're metal, it hurt."

"You are a very strange creature."

Bright pink light obscured your vision, and shouting rang through your ears. Crying, screaming, shouting, cracking, burning, and pain. Your arms felt like they were snapping out of your skin, it felt like fire was digging up your veins, you couldn't see, your throat felt like sandpaper as you breathe, the wind was slamming against your face, you couldn't see, the screaming was breaking your ears, your heart felt like it was screaming, you couldn't see.

Something broke. It was like glass, you could feel it pelt your body in painful waves, you couldn't see, it was no longer pink it was black, you couldn't see, the voices were grating against your ears, you couldn't see, they were forcing their way into your brain, you couldn't se-

"Human?"

You wake up with a sharp inhale, sitting up from your cold uncomfortable cot, the dull throbbing in your head back tenfold. You could see the itchy woolen blanket you had tried to cover up with had been thrown off, leaving the cold chill of the bunker to seep into your bones.

"Are you okay?" Arcee asked, she must have been the one that woke you up, a concerned look was on her face as she crouched down to where you had been sleeping. "You were moving a lot."

"I'm okay, just a nightmare." You reply, taking a deep breath and turning to Arcee with a forced smile.

"What's a nightmare?" She asked, picking up the blanket with a look of disgust. "And what is this supposed to be?"

"That," you say, grabbing the blanket and wrapping the itchy fabric around your cold body, "is a blanket."

You really didn't want to talk about whatever that nightmare was, especially to a strange robot woman you barely know, sure she was nice to you, but would she understand?

"You didn't answer my first question."

"A nightmare is a bad dream," you explain, looking down at your feet.

"What's a dream?"

"When humans sleep, their brains start processing all the information they've gathered throughout the day, our brains create images and scenarios that play out, ergo dreams." You pause, turning back to Arcee, "Do Cybertronians not dream?"

"ah! Your processors make them up, Cybertronians do have something like that, but it doesn't really happen that often." Arcee explains, a little smile on her face, "So your processor made a 'bad dream' and that causes you to move when you recharge?"

"Recharge?"

"Sleep."

"Oh, yes, they cause us to move in our 'recharge'."

"Do they hurt?"

You pause, thinking, did nightmares hurt?

"Sort of? It's hard to explain, sometimes our brain sends pain signals to our body to alert us of an injury, if we're injured in a dream or nightmare it's possible for us actually to feel it."

Arcee’s face quickly turns from curiosity to horror and shock, she kneels down a bit further, getting even closer to you, “You’re brain makes you feel pain that’s not there?”

“Sometimes, it happens with scars and missing limbs too.”

“But… if your limb is missing, how can it hurt?” she asked, struggling to wrap her head around the concept, “Why does your processor make you hurt when you’re not hurt?”

“Well, our brains are quite delicate, they’re connected to our whole body, and when something goes wrong with our bodies, like getting a major injury, it can have lasting effects.”

“But your body is healed,” she pauses, looking at you with a worried expression, “This is for all humans?”

“Not all humans get majorly injured like that, but the ones who do, their bodies get confused trying to figure out what's wrong and how to fix it.”

“Humans are so complex and fragile.” Arcee says, shaking her head and standing up, “If an Autobot were to get hurt like that, our processors would immediately recognize the problem, not be confused.”

“Humans aren’t fragile,” You say, scrunching up your nose, “cybertronians are just,” You pause searching for the word, “Sturdy.”

Arcee laughed, standing up off her heels. "You got that right." She stretched her arms out before offering a hand to help you up, a friendly smile on her face. "Come on, Ratchet wants to see you."

You nod, taking her hand and pulling yourself up. "Does he need to take my readings again?"

She shrugged, letting go of your hand or rather your wrist, her hand was big enough to wrap around your forearm completely but she was gentle enough to keep from hurting you.

"Dunno just said to wake you up and bring you to him."

"That's certainly ominous." You sigh, following her out of the room, walking down the long gray hallways, bare of any decoration or paint. The bright lights reflect off the metal ground, creating a reflection of you and the giant metal lady.

You keep your gaze on the ground, thinking over the past week. Cliffjumper had been stubborn and kept reminding you of the bite, you were really sure if he had gotten over it or not, Optimus was more or less a silent observer, Ratchet was consistently working or doing tests on you, Bumblebee had been sent a mission a day after you arrived to both of your disappointment and Bulkhead… Bulkhead was avoiding you for whatever reason.

"Something on your mind?" Arcee, Acree had been the most welcoming, she was more of your guardian than Cliffjumper at this point, she even made small talk with you.

"Uh, yeah, just thinking." You say snapping out of your trance and looking up at her.

Arcee gives you a comforting smile and steps into the room you first woke up in, Ratchet was working diligently at the giant computer. If he noticed the two of you coming in, he didn't seem to care.

“Hey, Ratchet,” Arcee greets him, walking ahead of you and leaning on the wall, gesturing for you to climb up the ladder. You climb up the ladder, the cold metal biting into your fingers. As you get to the top and pull yourself over, Ratchet finally pulls his attention away from the screen, looking down at you.

“You’re finally here, I told Arcee to get you an hour ago.” he huffed, glancing back at Arcee, Arcee gave him a shrug, and turned back to you. His bright blue eyes bore into you like shards of broken glass, analyzing you like some sort of test.

“I was asleep, but I'm here now,” you say, giving him an apologetic smile, you really didn’t want to be on anyone's bad side here, especially not doctor grumpy, “What do you need, Doctor?”

“More tests to figure out how and why you could understand Bumblebee.” He said, holding down his hand for you to get on, “I just finished fixing one of our old devices I recovered from our ship.”

“What kind of device?” You ask curiously, hopping onto his hand.

“An energy reader, we cybertronians used them to tell what kind of sparks we had,” Ratchet says proudly, his lips curving up into a smile, “They are quite difficult to repair even on Cybertron.”

“And you recovered this from your spaceship?”

“Yes, I repaired it to full functionality with the primitive technology that you humans have,” he says smugly, setting you down on another table, a device sitting to the side of you.

“This energy reader will tell you why I can understand Bumblebee and why my EMF is all wacky?”

“No, it'll give me the information I need to figure out why,” he says, picking up the reader and pointing it at you, “Hold still, this won’t hurt a bit.”

Bright blue light washes over your body as you hear mechanical whirring sounds, the sound of metallic windchimes clicking together getting much stronger. The light feels warm, like taking a hot bath after you were out in the snow, it burns your fingertips pleasantly and pulls you further away from the present of standing barefoot on a terribly cold table. You close your eyes, the light was too bright, circles dancing around in the dark of your eyelids as the windchimes slowly get louder and more erratic, no longer blowing in a calm wind, more like blowing in a hurricane.

Your head was starting to hurt, it felt like the windchimes were in your head, banging around and breaking your skull open like an egg. the heat was no longer pleasant, it was scalding, burning through your skin. The pain was beginning to get unbearable, it felt like sandpaper dragging against your throat and nose as you try to breathe.

A sound broke through the pain, the slow humming, it was a bit quicker but it didn’t feel like the windchimes, in fact, it calmed the windchimes bashing around in your head, the grinding pain leaving your head, leaving only a god awful migraine as you hear someone.

“She’s waking up,” the low voice rumbled out, pulling you out of the boiling waters of your head, “(Y/n)? Can you hear me?” As you open your eyes, the first thing you see is the scratched and weathered face of Optimus Prime, his bright blue eyes staring down at you.

“Yeah.” you say after a movement of catching your breath, tears blurring you’re vision, you must have started crying during that hellish experience, the humming was steady, like the song to sing to hush a crying child, “Yeah, I can hear you.”

“Thank the Allspark! We thought you were gone.” Ratchet says, shooing the comforting sight of Optimus away, the panicking windchimes returning full force.

“Can you stop?” you hiss, squeezing your eyes shut as the grinding pain begins to make its way back into your already sore brain.

“Stop?” Ratchet asked in a confused manner, stopping in the middle of a scan, “Stop scanning you?”

“No,” you groan, putting an arm over your eyes to block out the painful light, “The windchimes.”

“Windchimes?” Ratchet mimics, the windchimes being to calm down.

“Yeah, the windchimes, their giving me a headache.”

“What are windchimes?” Ratchet asks, looking between Optimus and you, placing his hand beside you on the table.

“Its-” You sigh, covering your ears as the panicking windchimes come back full force, “the sharp dinging sound! Can’t you hear that?”

“Miss, there are no dinging sounds, are you okay?” Optimus speaks up, moving closer to the table again.

“No, I'm not okay.” you grumble, finally sitting up, rubbing your temples as you finally crack your eyes open, “Apparently, I'm hallucinating some loud windchimes that feel like they're trying to break out of my skull.”

“When did you first hear this ‘windchime’ sound?” Ratchet asks, turning to the computer and typing some stuff in, the windchimes slowly dying down again.

“When you were telling me about my weird EMF, they were more peaceful then, not as panicky as they are now.”

“Panicky?” Ratchet asks, his metal face twisting as he thinks, a sudden look of realization comes over him. “By the Allspark!”

“By the who?” Ratchet ignores your question in favor of snatching you up and running over to the computer.

“I can’t believe I didn’t see it earlier, I haven’t seen something like this since before the war!” Ratchet rambles on, setting you down rather roughly on the table even though he was probably trying to be gentle.

“Seen what, old friend?” Optimus asked, coming up beside him, and glancing down at you.

“An extra sensory spark.” Ratchet says, pulling up a bunch of strange symbols on the monitor, “That's the reason the EMF reader didn’t work on the human, it was because her spark was trying to read the reader at the same time!”

“But no one has seen that type of spark since the golden ages of Cybertron,” Optimus says, his face revealing the tiniest sliver of shock as he looks up at the monitor.

“Humans don’t have sparks, so this is incredibly strange,” Ratchet grumbles, typing into the keyboard and then turning back to you. “But there has been one recorded instance of this.”

“Care to elaborate?” You ask, looking at Ratchet and squinting against the harsh lights as he towers over you.

“The one time an organic had developed a spark reading was because of multiversal travel.” Ratchet says, his electric blue eyes staring down at you intensely, “which explains why you don’t exist here, you’re not even from this universe.”

Silence.

“(Y/N)? Did you hear me?” Ratchet asked, getting on one knee to look you in the eye.

You heard him, of course you heard him, he said you weren’t from this universe. You nod numbly, turning your gaze towards your feet as you ball up, bringing your knees tightly to your chest. “Yeah.”

The room went silent again

[eternal-echoes]

“One of the most important keys to enduring any trial is to find the right support system. One woman who struggled with being female recalled, "Feeling like we couldn't be women, being cut off from other women is one of our deepest wounds and healing it means finally finding common ground and community with other women."(2) In your quest to find the right community, one sign that a group is wrong for you is if they lead you to believe that you might need to make medical alterations to your body in order to be your authentic self. They might sincerely care about you, but if they don't know what's truly best for you, their advice is as useful as receiving heart surgery from a person who hasn't been to medical school but has the best intentions. Instead, if you're open to counseling, find a good therapist who shares your faith and knows how to help you strive for wholeness and holiness.

Also, be patient with yourself. Often, a sense of urgency for change leads individuals to make irreversible, life-changing decisions. But every attempt to alter the way in which the body reveals one's sexuality obscures the signs of one's true identity. Your feelings matter, so give yourself time to process them. Jesse Hinty, a member of the Pique Resilience Project, shared why she pushed forward through the steps of her transition:

I think I had this complex of wanting to prove myself as authentic, regardless of any sense of doubt that was creeping in. ... The feeling of wanting to prove myself completely overrode any thought of "Hmm, maybe I should slow down or like maybe I should think about this a little bit harder." I just wanted to feel validated... like my dysphoria experience mattered.(3)

Your dysphoria does matter, and this is precisely why you should be curious about it. Perhaps there's more to your dysphoric feelings than your body. As you explore this possibility, don't place unnecessary pressure on yourself to conform. For example, if you're female, you don't need to embrace all things stereotypically feminine and go shopping for pink dresses in order to be a follower of Christ. Go at your own pace. You also do not have to have all the answers to your questions about gender before approaching God. God's idea of following Him is not: "Get yourself together and then you're welcome in my house." If Christians had to wait until they were perfect before approaching God, churches would be empty-with the exception of those who were delusional about their own perfection.

When individuals who wrestle with their sexual identity force themselves to fit into certain cultural stereotypes of masculinity and femininity, it often makes matters worse. They might assume that in order to please God, they need to conform immediately to an invisible mold of what society wants them to be. But imagine if Saint Joan of Arc believed this! She would never have shattered the cultural norm that women can't be military leaders. France, then, would have lost at the battle in Orléans in 1429, and England might have conquered her nation. She exemplifies why it's so important to look to God rather than the world to obtain our sense of self. After all, God is not interested in putting anyone into a mold, because sainthood is the full bloom of the human personality.

Therefore, if a young woman today has interests that don't conform to the expected pattern of femininity, this doesn't make her male or nonbinary. It makes her a 100 percent female and 100 percent herself. After all, there are many ways to be a man and many ways to be a woman. One detransitioner, who reminisced about what she wished she knew during the process of transitioning, said, "If I could go back I would tell myself that I didn't have to be a certain way to be a woman... you don't have to change the way that your body looks.”(4) In other words, your sexual identity does not need to be earned, proved, felt, or even fully understood. It only needs to be received.

Although this may be easier said than done, one way to work towards acceptance is to try to engage in activities that make you feel good about your body. This might involve exercise, sports, dance, hiking, etc. The point is to step away from negative thinking patterns and try to discover something that feels right about your body. Physical achievements can sometimes lead to a healthy sense of admiration for the abilities of one's body, rather than a constant devaluation of it.”

-Jason Evert, Male, Female, or Other: A Catholic Guide to Understanding Gender

—

Work cited:

2) "An Open Letter to Julia Serano from One of the Detransitioned People You Claim to 'Support.'"

3) "DETRANSITION Q&A (#1)." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxVmSGTgNxI&t=4s&ab_channel=PiqueResilienceProject

4) "I Regret Transitioning"-Talk w/ Teen De-transitioner," https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPBLyb8H_iE

—

For more recommended resources on gender dysphoria, click here.

[yellow-bunny-ears]

⚡(headcanon of police suspecting William and pointing a gun at him to force a confession) Mr. Afton, when was the last time you saw Charlotte Emily and the other children? don't try to lie

⚡️- For my character to answer any question with honesty

((Warning! I really got into writing William and him showing his true colors, and I was having a lot of fun tbh. Villains are sooo much fun to write🤫 but with that being said! ⚠️Please be warned, a lot of mentions of child murder—such as a description of Charlie’s death scene as I HC it— as well as mentions of alcohol and being drunk.))

“Charlie Emily?” He stared straight ahead, looking you deep in the eye. Quite eerily so, considering the circumstances. “I don’t remember the exact date, so you’ll have to forgive me. I was proper sloshed that night though, I’ll tell you that.” William’s tone was inappropriately jovial, as if he was in the process of explaining a complex joke. Not the type of cadence somebody should have while recalling detail’s of an innocent child’s MURDER.

“I recall that it was raining. I drove down to the restaurant after essentially getting kicked out of the bar,” He scoffed with a small chuckle, “but that’s beside the point. I’ll be honest, I have no recollection as to why I went down there, or how I got down there. I drove, sure, but…ah, unimportant. Anyway-- there, outside, was little Charlie standing all alone outside, banging on the window with a certain type of vigor. I suppose my reasoning as to why I did what I decided to do next won’t make sense to you, because I don’t think that many could understand my thought process. Truly, it was thoughts mainly considering her father, and not her herself. He had it so…damn good, you know? After all, he was the brains behind the operation. HE had a lovely family-- even though I could tell that his marriage was…” he coughed, “to put it bluntly: loveless, but at least he still was able to uphold the image of a perfect, happy family. My oldest son looked up to him for guidance like a parent, but hardly gives me, his own father, the time of day. And lest we forget…HE was the one who built the thing that, I don’t know…killed my own child?”

The man had to take a moment to breathe, that feeling of undescribed jealously building up in his stomach all over again. Though the reminder that Henry, who had now lost the most near and dear thing in his life, was….well. Saying that he “had it rough” would be the understatement of the century. And that made William smile.

“Right…back to Charlotte. Some may describe her as being in the wrong place at the wrong time. She was locked outside, it was down pouring, I was wasted, and I just… acted on my impulses, really. You don’t have any inhibitions when you’re that far gone. To put it simply, I strangled her. Things truly are fuzzy as hell in my memory, but I will never forget her face when my hands were around her little neck. I hadn’t intended to kill her, honestly. Just to scare her. It was so dark, I didn’t think she’d recognize me in the pouring rain. But when she chocked out a little ‘uncle Will--!’” he mocked, “well…I mean, I couldn’t have her telling her father. So I finished the job, dragged her to the dumpsters, and drove off as quickly as I possibly could. That was the end of that.”

He took a few long moments to pause, letting you take in the information at hand.

“Now, as for the other children? That whole story is going to take all day. Do you have the time?”

[horse-girl-anthy]

could Anthy have walked out of Ohtori from episode one?

essay under the cut.

my basic answer to this question is no, but there's a lot of complexity behind that no.

when Utena first encounters Anthy, she immediately thinks there's something wrong with her and tries to talk her out of the whole "Rose Bride" business. while Utena makes several crucial mistakes during this early stage of their relationship, her instinct isn't necessarily wrong. if you met someone who said their inherent position in life was to be a slave to the will of others, wouldn't you have some concerns?

by episode 23, Utena has begun to understand Anthy better, to feel the magnitude of her plight.

such moments have long since led me to the conclusion that Anthy couldn't leave Ohtori until the final episode. however, that doesn't mean that I knew what "not being able to leave" truly implied. here's the thoughts I've come up with.

in life, we all have times when we know what we should do to improve our circumstances, but we find that we simply cannot do it. the barrier to "not being able to do something" is not physical, not easily explainable. I'll give an example from my life. I spent a couple years as an alcoholic. obviously, there was a very simple solution to this problem: stop drinking. but I just couldn't do it. my life was pretty bad at the time, but I've gotten through other bad times without guzzling alcohol. during the course of my addiction, it looked like I wasn't making any progress. then one day I just stopped. people say you're an alcoholic for life, but I don't believe that. I know I'm done; it's over.

I've started to take Anthy's character as, in part, a grand metaphor for being in such a position. a simple action, one that you're physically capable of, would solve everything. but you can't do it. until one day you can.

that's not the whole answer to the Anthy question, of course. the show has a system, a social landscape, which has to be taken into account. there's the swords of hate, there's Akio. Anthy is truly oppressed, and so, even though she eventually reveals that she's capable of walking out, to give such an explanation is facile. I gave an example of a situation where I knew what I needed to do to get my life together; for Anthy, it's more of a case where she cannot even believe that her life could change. either leaving Ohtori doesn't occur to her, or she thinks it's impossible.

taking a more thematic approach, Anthy is a representation of the suppression of women. she's in an impossible situation; she constantly denies her own agency; she has been so badly hurt that she is afraid to be herself in any capacity. so the question of "could Anthy just have left Ohtori from the start?" could be rephrased as "can women just shake off their socialization?" Utena, who attempts to do just that, can't escape from it in the end either.

but the reason RGU is such a beloved story is because it is about liberation from gendered socialization, as well as other mental prisons. with this in mind, I think Anthy not being able to leave at the start was necessary for the narrative. it can't be easy for her to leave, or there's no story, and it won't feel real.

the process of liberation isn't easy either, or necessarily explicable. the show centers on the dueling game, a system which treats Anthy as an object, which encourages conflict and possession. the characters always seem to fail at their objectives. they never resolve their complexes--they only spend them out. Utena wins and wins, and although she is loving, she is not prying Anthy out of her coffin. Ikuhara once described the final arc as being full of stories that are wrong. there doesn't appear to be any light at the end of the tunnel.

right when you think Utena and Anthy have achieved solidarity, that they both want the same thing, Anthy reveals another of her faces, stabbing Utena in the back and acquiescing to her fate yet again. it's only then, after every single option has been eliminated, that the revolution can occur. strangely, the power of the final episode comes from the "empty movement" of the previous 38. all along, it looked like no progress was being made. Miki and Kozue break apart almost as soon as they've reached an understanding. Touga challenges Utena to another duel, despite knowing that that's what Akio wants. Nanami won't let go of the spotlight she so craves. Juri can do nothing but surrender. and yet.. and yet.

a lot of fans view Ohtori as a bad place, an evil place. certainly, evil happens there. Akio is at the helm, an embodiment of the sick childishness of an adult who refuses to grow up. but I don't know if Ohtori is evil. it provides the setting for the process of liberation to occur. staying there is the problem. but perhaps for Anthy, and for the other characters, Ohtori served as the shell--a thing of protection--which allowed them to reach adulthood and emerge into the world. the dueling game was all a grand play which gave them an outlet for their issues, a testing ground to be left behind when they were ready. through failure, they found out that what they really wanted was something beyond their imagination. they struggled and fought with one another, only to find out that underneath at all, there was love, unlooked for, rising from shared alienation.

let's put it one more way: Anthy could not leave Ohtori from the start, because she was still a child, no matter how jaded she was. she hid her child-self away long ago and then forgot it was there. when that child woke up, she found that she had a friend who wanted to go out into the real world with her. that was all she needed to become an adult, and so, at last, she left Ohtori for good, a whole person. in the words of Ikuhara:

The prince chose to sleep on, and the princess chose to wake up. At the top of that tall tower, the princess bid farewell to the prince. No - she wasn’t the princess any longer. She quit being “a person (thing) ruled by someone.” The victory bells rang, but there was no “tower (rule)” beyond them now. She’d learned where freedom lay. She crossed the threshold of that “Door of Revolution” which had always been closed for her before, and began walking. The “girls’ revolution” lay in the girl’s future.

[liannelara-dracula]

Hello! Lately I've been thinking so much about academic rivals to lovers scenarios with Reiji but I couldn't find anything similar to that to read :(

So, if you're comfortable with that, can I request some hcs for this trope?

Hi Love,

Oh, yes! This is a nice idea. It's a shame they haven't made it, in that case, leave it to me :). I've literally been wanting to do this so I'm happy you asked this!

-Liannelara

Academic rivals to lovers scenarios w Reiji

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Prompt

Requests are open

Rules

Warning:

*certain words have been censored for Tumblr guidelines.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

📘I think this girl was raised to believe that she had to succeed more than anyone and so she felt pressure from her parents who probably expected a lot from her so when she met Reiji, she met her match.

📘And she wanted to prove to her parents that she was better which was becoming difficult considering Reiji didn’t make mistakes.

📘So she was working harder and harder to be the top student.

📘Reiji had always been confident with himself and he never thought he'd have to worry about something like this.

📘He thought that his rival was only Ruki.

📘Which he was fine with because Reiji would never back down from succeeding in academics and showing off his skills.

📘However, Reiji never thought about having a female rival

📘I mean realistically speaking, he's sexist and will believe that a woman couldn't possibly surpass him in anything unless it was something feminine. 

📘So it's a shock to his system in a way but he is more so focused on the fact that he is being challenged by not only a human but a girl.

📘He will not stand for it, he must be above all else, especially a woman.

📘After all he’s Reiji, how could he miss something or not do something better than someone else?

📘I think it all started when she transferred to his school.

📘Teachers loved her, people tried to befriend her, and she joined the student council, which Reiji is not a part of.

📘She was doing so much in so little time and so she was admired.

📘Most of all she was very smart, especially with complex subjects such as math and science.

📘And she had some chemistry skills so this totally triggered him.

📘At first he thought nothing of it but the more she succeed he found himself being challenged and it was the same for her.

📘She’d miss a point and Reiji would get it or they were both right and it was a tie.

📘It got so bad that they would indirectly insult and get salty with each other and maybe even cheat a little.

📘In fact there were times when you two would argue with the teachers about which one of you had more precise answers.

📘And it would be a constant battle so much that teachers couldn’t even put up with it.

📘If the teacher tried to partner you two up in a lab it is nothing but constant bickering about how he thinks you burned the magnesium for too long or how you think he timed it wrong.

📘You both even argue about the process the whole time of how it should be done because you two have biased preferences.

📘“You’re always supposed to sand it down then roll it before burning it.” You’d point out.

📘“Not in this particular experiment.” He’d state.

📘“That’s your opinion, I feel that when I set the heat up first I get less percent error.” You’d argue.

📘“Perhaps it’s because of your inexperience.” Reiji would claim.

📘In P.E. you run for track and he feels the need to perform better than you there too. Even though you both probably hate P.E.

📘But because of his vamp speed and higher stamina, you can’t beat him. So in your case, you’d grow annoyed because he was better at it than you.

📘In fact he probably once stopped you during track just to taunt you, “it seems you do not perform as well as you’d like to on the field. How embarrassing it must be, though given your calves are short you are incapable of keeping up with someone taller. Did you not grow properly?”

📘Hearing this a pout grew on your lips which he loved seeing, “For your information height isn’t the only thing that contributes to someone’s speed. Of course, what would you know, you spent most of your childhood having growth spurts instead of knowledge expansion.”

📘If you were assigned a class presentation, he likes to be a dick and ask you complicated questions that may even reach out of the presentation's scope just to piss you off since they're complicated in nature.

📘“If you are not feel versed on the topic, perhaps you should inform yourself of it.” He’d answer smugly as your eye twitched at this before forcing a smile.

📘“Perhaps I will and then maybe you have to put your focus on Latin more.” You remarked, seeing he wasn’t as well versed in the language as you were.

📘You both ended up having a tie with Reiji at the science fair and this is where Reiji was shocked that his project and yours tied.

📘You had spent some many weeks talking smack to each other about your projects that even Ruki had to step in to make you both stop.

📘Although the judges had to come to a conclusion and so you probably one because your project was just more out of the box than Reiji’s. So you win the science fair and this is where Rei starts to be a bit nicer to her. After she wins, he probably goes over and shakes her hand, saying she won fair and square.

📘Rei's honestly not himself after this point because for her to beat him, he thinks she's something and definitely someone he's interested in.

📘This was really surprising to you, and he purposely made sure that you noticed this. Although Reiji was smart enough to know you’d be to taken back to say anything. So you instead stayed a little shocked and wouldn’t say anything because it just seemed so off to you.

📘Of course, little did you know that Reiji was intrigued by you now and would only be planning on getting your attention more often. And when possible get you to be shocked and display other facial expressions to which he found amusing.

📘So when he started to pursue, he started to do little things to get your attention, to which you were totally oblivious to.

📘He’d invite you to participate in the school's fair seeing you still hadn’t decided.

📘“As a student council member you should participate, however, if you are in need of company I suppose it cannot be helped.”

📘“Reiji?” You’d question, raising a brow in confusion.

📘“I will accompany you to the school’s festival.” He’d confirm, adjusting his glasses as he looked down at you, “Do you have any objections?”.

📘“Uhh, no. . . its just, well I--I never asked for help.” You’d stumble as you looked at him, a little confused as to why this was happening.

📘“I suppose it can atone for my prior behavior.” He’d reply, turning away to part ways with you, leaving you a little speechless again.

📘He once was able to get a coffee with you during break and talk about academic stuff too.

📘This is where he sensed your troubles and mostly about how nervous you were for one particular exam he mostly found this out by overhearing you with someone and because when he asked about it your heart raced a little faster in panic.

📘So finding the opportunity, Reiji offers to help you.

📘“If you feel uncertain of your knowledge you should be tested about the subject. Three o’clock, the library.” He’d say offering to help.

📘“Oh, no, it’s okay. I’m sure I’ll manage, Reiji.”

📘“Y/n, if I am not mistaken this is not the first time you have declined my offers in helping you. Continuing to do so makes you appear as though you have something to hide.” It’s true, you were avoiding these interactions with him because you didn’t feel right bothering someone.

📘“It’s not that I---well, if you’re alright with studying then I guess I will see you later then.” You’d say figuring it would be harmless.

📘“I will see you soon.” He’d smile, parting ways with you in the hall.

📘Which allows you two to study, it also means he gets to sit close to you in the library or at a table in a secluded area.

📘This is when he gets to adjust your grip on the pencil too and have the excuse to touch your hand and delicate fingers.

📘He also gets to hover over you as he’s pointing out things to you in the textbook.

📘This gives Rei the excuse to even lean in and be extra close to you with his chest brushing against your back and both of his arms on both sides of you blocking you from leaving.

📘And it's taking him everything in him to not steal a kiss from you.

📘He’ll get really close but make sure he doesn’t kiss you because he’s still waiting since it's not time yet.

📘In that study session and in a few other ones you two would exchange conversation about different things and he once got you to smile and giggle at one thing.

📘It was precious to him when you laughed that you covered your smile with your hand gingerly.

📘Studying with you became frequent between you both, even if you were in the library to return or search for a book and he was in the library casually minding his own business he’d find a way to get your attention.

📘He would do this by either clearing his throat and pretending like he doesn’t notice you or by walking by you to get another book and act like he doesn’t notice you until you bump into him.

📘When he gets you to interact more he will become more comfortable as well and try to keep you fascinated with things he knows.

📘He’ll share interesting things with you and this usually happens during study sessions.

📘Rei would show you one of his scientific journals and his discoveries. (and this is his way of flirting lmao)

📘He even shows you flowers and studies he’s done of them so you learn some interesting observations from him sometimes too.

📘“They are pretty, what is this flower called?” You’d ask, still looking at the plant in observation.

📘I know he plans most of his interactions but sometimes he just gets lucky and opens new doors and finds out more interesting things about his rival.

📘Some things of which he deems as “cute” or “worth tolerating”.

📘Like one time you got injured in P.E. and he took you to the nurses' office.

📘Another time you practically tripped and fell on him but he caught you.

📘At a school dance you stepped on his foot and he called you a clumsy dancer.

📘This kinda made you upset and get into a minimal argument.

📘“It is as if you were born with two left feet.” He’d say boldly.

📘You’d scoff as you both still continued to practice, “Do you ever have anything!--” you’d stop mid-sentence as Reiji twirled you around and dipped you, just to have you shut up.  “ . . . nice to say.” You’d say shocked and speechless, still being held in the same position, his hair falling into his face his arms still holding your waist.

📘A blush crept onto your cheeks as you tried to get out of his grip, “Reiji, let go of me.”

📘He’d chuckle before letting you go, “It’s fascinating to see the top student turn red.”

📘You’d glare at him, “Excuse me.” You’d say before turning away to leave.

📘But of course, there was no way our bae Rei was going to have it end there.

📘Oh no, it was only the beginning.

📘Even if he isn’t asking you things or exchanging conversation with you, you are still in classes with him and he loves to have his burning gaze on you.

📘So you have constant stares, which you used to not notice. And once you did you grew a little cautious of how you moved or where you’d sit because you could feel he was watching.

📘And let’s just say, it got to the point to which to were nervous about coming to class early since it would mean he’d pick a seat where he could see you. 

📘Or sometimes he’d be really bold and sit next to you.

📘Of course you couldn’t fully say this was true as there was no actual proof, because every time you looked his way he either turned away or acted like he wasn’t doing anything. Although you had a gut feeling.

📘Because when you came in early and sat in the front rows he’d side further behind at an angle to which he could get a perfect view of you reading and taking notes.

📘Even if you’re crossing your legs, to which he won’t admit is his weakness.

📘He was amused by watching you, especially because you hardly turned around to look at him. But he knew you were just too nervous to look but also engrossed in your work.

📘Although there were times when he caught you staring and he’d caught you a few times looking back, only for you to look away.

📘Reiji also grew to enjoy how you tried to get out of class as soon as possible, instead of asking the teacher questions so that you wouldn’t have to face him.

📘He loved seeing a girl so calm and collected become all nervous and apprehensive.

📘Any chance there was a project to be done with partners he’d stage it to have the teacher put you both together.

📘Which he’ll probably use his mind control for that.

📘And it’s just getting harder for you to avoid him, he’s bugged you during presentations. Like when you’re explaining he will have questions for you.

📘He’d bump into you in the halls more frequently too and then try to have conversations with you.

📘The study sessions got more personal, sometimes it wasn’t even studying which was very unlike you.

📘I think he asked you out in one of two ways, either he kissed you in the school hallway after asking for your answer to date.

📘Or you two were in the school garden and a flower petal got in your hair and being the gentleman that he is Reiji moved it out of your hair 

📘 “You don’t need to--” you’d mumble out as his hand touched your hairline, he took the opportunity to steady your features and tuck a strand behind your ear before putting his palm against your cheek only to lean in forward and crash his lips on yours.

📘He’d pull away a little after, his hand still on your cheek as he admired the way your eyes had fluttered due to being kissed and how they now opened after he pulled away. “Reiji . . .” You’d whisper, unable to make a sentence.

📘“Please consider my offer, Y/n.”

📘Omg this man is so gentle with the woman he loves, I cannot. 😭😭🤧My lil Rei.

📘Once you accepted you two then established things at your own pace, and you came to know more about his playful nature.

📘And his constantly teasing and cruel humor, as well as him calling you dearest or my dear.

📘To know more about what school with him is like, you can see that here.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

˗ˏˋ 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑦 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑠 𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝐼 𝑑𝑜 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠 ˎˊ˗ ©𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟔~Present

[someprettyname]

Whoses your favorite hq character so far?

OH MY (͡⁠°⁠‿⁠ ͡⁠°⁠)

*gets hysterical* OH NOOOOOOOO

Why must you ask me this questions when you very well know every character is written SO WELL???

.

.

.

Just kidding.

*rolls up sleeves* oh this is going to be long

I was waiting to finish S2 first before answering this so i could see all the seijoh players and my understanding of them mature a bit more before I go on and yap about them. I still haven't properly processed the vs Aoba Johsai match because. What. The. Hell. Wasthat? 🧍🏻‍♀️

ANYWAYSSSSSSSSS the point being, i really do like every character. Genuinely. It's not the "Ah. I don't think they are necessarily bad so i like them yeah 🤷🏻‍♀️." It's the "My goodness, even a side character is so well written, what? How am I supposed to forget you after I understood you and your story? 🥹" Kinda like.

Now that it's established that i adore every character and team that showed up on the screen we can now discuss the characters that have caught my attention so far :3 [keep in mind that I've only watched 2 seasons so far so there might not be enough kenma and shiratorizawa players :D]

Okay starting off with team karasuno ->

GUESS WHO WAS THE FIRST EVER CHARACTER TO CATCH MY EYE IN THIS WHOLE SERIES?

🥁

🥁

🥁

Ta-Da!

It was NISHINOYA!!!!

Oh my god WHAT A SWEETHEART.

WHAT WOULD I EVER DO WITHOUT HIM BEING IN THE MATCH/COURT? *Sniffles*

I saw that shine in his eyes and I was SOLD. HAVE ALL MY MONEY. I LOVE THIS CHARACTER ALREADY. AND HIS VOICE? MY GOODNESS. It's very specific but there's this huskiness in his voice that's absolutely divine to my ears. His dynamics with hinata and asahi is something i look forward to ALWAYS! I mean this adorable boy here is a sight to behold every time he shows up, so need i explain more? He's like a ball of sunshine, he has magical cheering up powers. I love him so MUCH. I'M IN TEARS.

*clears throat* *collects oneself*

Moving on, Daichi is an amazing character. He isn't the most flashy charcter but without him - the captain - it's empty and on the edge of falling apart. Captures the essence of his role quite accurately, nein? Pillar of maturity and calmness. That's how I see him and it's beautiful.

Then it's Asahi. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA MWAH CHEF KISS. His character development is gorgeous. GORGEOUS.

Next up is Kageyama of course. My famous infamous opinion of him is that he's seriously a serious silly goober your honour 😌

When I was watching their second official match with seijoh for a moment i really thought "Ah. Kageyama is going to win but as a team isn't it? Oikawa would still be superior to him as a setter, isn't it? That's how it's going to balance out?" Guess I was wrong. My mind was ABSOLUTELY blown when their last set was the same as the one in their previous match with seijoh. And then he was standing in front of oikawa WHILE I WAS GOING CRAZY. DAMN IT.

His character development and him learning to move past being the "king of court" is amazing. I feel like a proud mom lol.

If I'm talking about kageyama i HAVE to talk about Hinata but I'll sleep on that for now because lol. It's quite obvious. Maybe i should yap about why I wanna pull his cheeks some other day. This is getting long as it is.

Coming to TEAM AOBA JOHSAI :

I'd really like to yap about oikawa but he's one character who gets me thinking. I have so many thoughts about him but it's quite a blur, he's a complex character. That much i have understood. I mean, everytime i see a character i have this immediate impression of them and everything they do afterwards usually builds up on that without contradicting my first impression. That's how it usually goes. But he was one character who keeps... surprising me? Somehow? Does that make sense? So yeah, i would like to re-watch stuff and form a stronger opinion before I yap. He's a complex and beautifully written character, i don't want to disrespect him with him half assed opinions lol.

He intrigues me, that's for sure :)

Then it's Iwaizumi i.e iwa-chan~ because WHY THE HELL NOT. I teared up over him afterall. Damn it. So yeah, i definitely like him.

honourable mention : shinji watari!

Then comes the honorable mention of Yuji Terushima from TEAM JOHZENJI. Whenever I think about that team and it's essence his face pops up in my mind, rightfully so. He has a cool character design, so that too.

That team to me personally is really memorable because my personality IS like them upto a lot extent LOL. So throughout the match I was secretly rooting for them a lot. And when they said "Ah. I was just getting started. I wanted to play more." I found myself thinking the same. And when that happens, you as a viewer know this match was well written. I also love how author captured their story and feelings in just an episode. Definitely a memorable match :D

HEHEHEHHEH NOW COMES THE CHARACTER FROM TOKYO POWERHOUSE PRACTICE ARC.

Ah. So many memorable characters ahaha xD

*sighs reminiscingly*

Anyways. Kuroo, Kenma, Lev, Bokuto. I'll hold yapping about them too much too simply because they haven't be explored too much yet. But my GOD. THESE 4 CHARACTERS? I'M SOOOOOOO SOOO CURIOUS ABOUT THEN. I wanna see how it all turns out and how they grow! Specially Lev!! If he gets better at other areas too he's going to be a challenge for Karasuno isn't it? That'd certainly be fun to watch.

Also i want to squish kenma, put him in a container and shake him violently then put him in a jar and GRIND him. Hahahahahakwiehhehehehehhh 😈

What? Don't look at me like that. He has a very squishy soft warm kinda character design. It's not my fault ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

Lastly, I'd like to say i love Bokuto's energy 😌↕️😌↕️ and OF COURSE! HIS SILLINESS AHAHHAH XD

He's so dramatic oh my god 😂 but I also love how he taught hinata to be so much better 🥹 so far, as per my perception of him, he's a simple, optimistic and silly guy who wants good competition. And I'm all here for it 😌↕️😌↕️

OH MY GOD CAN KARASUNO HURRY UP AND PLAY FUKURODANI ALREADDYYYYYY 🥹

Ending this huge ass ted talk [which you probably didn't expect, and if you didn't, I'm sorry to put you through this] with the last honourable mention : Ushijima. Of course. First of all, why is built like a Hollywood character? Second of all, i wanna watch him play sooo bad oh my god. 🥹

....but I'll probably end up rewatching S2 before that. LOL 😂😭

[jungkoode]

Dude the chapter 11 snippet for 25H,,,,,, I love Noma 😭 she's so cute. I'm fully obsessed with her.

I know the vibe is Sexual Tension~ and pushing the big sexy man and his big sexy brain's buttons but the way she goes about it is so earnest which makes it so so so endearing.

Like Yoongi is over here Sweating, horrifically down bad and she's so earnestly conducting her little scientific experiment on what to say/when to illicit the reactions she wants to see more of.

She's just so endearing 😭 😭 I love reading the way her brain works

Also I love her and Jimin's dynamic with hobi being the devious little instigator. Jimin just being like "I'm so done with you" and noma being like ok but..... that is extremely secondary to the questions I need answered.

I truly love your commitment to making relationships with characters complex and allowing characters to not be simply assigned into categories like "good" or "bad". Because the little we have seen of jimins reasonings of not liking Noma like!!!! Totally fair I think. It would not be fun to see your friend put through this agony over and over again with no change. I also just like that you've written a relationship where they disagree fundamentally and/or have different views of a person and that's normal for them. A lot of times now I think people often write romantic interests as being perfectly aligned in thought and morality and 😴. Complex characters have been missing in forms of media in recent years and it makes the stories just so much better and interesting to read.

Oh my god this is so long I'm so sorry 😨

HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ANON. First of all. How dare you. How DARE you apologize for giving me a beautifully thought out, high-quality, brain-rich take like this. Do you think I’m one of those girlies who doesn’t want 15-page essays in their inbox?? Do you think I post 20k chapters and go “oh no!! not a long message 😔😔”??? No. No, babe. I’m thriving. I’m flourishing. I’m feeding on this like a little lore gremlin with my claws out.

Okay NOW. Let’s talk about Noma. YES!!! That’s literally it—that’s her. That’s the exact dynamic I wanted to show. Like, she’s doing science. She’s running numbers. She’s like “Hm. If I say ‘your theory is flawed’ in a lower tone, his pupils dilate. Interesting. If I say ‘define dissonance’ and tilt my head 3 degrees he gets all rigid. Let’s repeat that test.” Meanwhile Yoongi is across from her like “🥵🚨🚨🥵🧨.” It’s so funny because to her, this is just data collection. She’s not even trying to be sexy—she’s just accidentally hot because she’s smart and terrifying and deeply fixated on learning Yoongi inside and out like a system to decode.

And YES oh my God thank you for noticing the Noma/Jimin/Hoseok dynamic. Jimin is 900% just done™ but also still participating because he cares, but he hates that he does, and Hoseok is like “I’m here to stir the pot and narrate and emotionally instigate :)” and Noma’s like “Ok valid but here’s a spreadsheet and six follow-up questions.” She is NOT emotionally fluent in human friction but she is excellent at interrogating inconsistencies. Jimin’s like “I think you’re ruining my friend’s life,” and she’s like “Mm ok but let’s define what constitutes ‘ruin.’”

And the point you made about not flattening characters into “good” or “bad”?? YES. Literally thank you. THANK YOU. We are so past that era. I hate when I see cast dynamics written where everyone is just perfectly aligned because that’s not how people work. Jimin having valid reasons for disliking her? That matters. Because he’s not a villain—he’s not jealous or petty or wrong—he’s just processing the trauma of watching his best friend get torn apart and is like “I can’t see this happen again.” It’s such a real, heavy thing. And Noma doesn’t take it personally—she sees it, catalogs it, understands it. That’s what I mean when I say “messy emotional realism.” People clash. People grieve. People love differently.

So. Yeah. This message made my whole day. And I will never apologize for being a writer who craves nuance, friction, and moral divergence. That’s where the real intimacy lives.

Thank you for reading. Thank you for caring. You are SO valid and intelligent and welcome here. Please come back always. I’m obsessed with you. 🫂