#so I think in this setting the ideal situation would be getting a bunch of wizards and training them exclusively in support magic

[seventeenreasonswhy]

Camping with Seventeen!

OT13!Seventeen x GN!Reader

You and your boyfriend, <SVT member> go camping!

Content: fluff i guess? haha, cracked seventeen! 🤪, some members like the outdoors more than others, some mentions of alcohol

SCOUPS

Would talk a big talk about how capable he is of setting up camp. You would be hiking all day, a little farther into the woods than you’d intended because Seungcheol kept urging you to keep hiking, even though you were tired. So you end up in a weird place without much clear ground to pitch the tent on, but Seungcheol insists that it’s the perfect spot. Pretty much everything goes wrong! Your tent poles snap ? the ground is too wet for the fire to get going, it’s starting to get dark... Seungcheol ends up pouting, his pride wounded after you set up the spare tent you brought and the fire, saying he’ll only smile again if you hand feed him s’mores. 🙄

HANNIE

You don’t go camping with Jeonghan, you go camping with Hannie. Hannie looks like a princess but actually likes catching bugs and roughing it! He’s so cute camping it’s crazy. You keep turning around thinking that you’ve lost him but he’s just crouching looking at a leaf he thinks is pretty. Then you have to run to him before he touches it in case it’s poisonous! Hannie is chaotic! And adorable! He’s getting into all kinds of almost-dire situations on this trip. You end up exhausted every night trying to keep up with his fearless approach to the forest, but then he cuddles into you under the stars and you forget he ever did anything wrong!

JOSHUA

Somehow has the best equipment and knows exactly where to go and what to do! The surprises are endless with this guy! He wants to go cliff diving, he wants you to take a picture of him hanging from a really tall branch, he wants to explore a very suspicious and scary-looking cave... Joshua is a risk-taker! And the great outdoors do not scare him! He would eventually pick up on your exhausted expression but he would ignore it haha because he’s having too much fun! Only to surprise you again with how extremely cuddly and sleepy he is by the end of the day.

JUN

why are you bringing a domesticated cat into the woods! pouts about not bringing enough food, forms a hostile relationship to the bugs, stays secured inside the hood of his sweatshirt all day and into the evening until you make him some hot chocolate over the camping stove you brought and he perks right up. would get bored and want to explore the forest, which you discourage because it’s too dark now. you didn’t know what to expect camping with moon junhui, but somehow you have a singularly fun time.

HOSHI

So fun to go camping with! Hoshi is a good sport with a lot of energy, so he’s an ideal hiking companion. He’s good at staying on track, setting up camp, making the food and keeping it safely out of any animal’s reach... you guys have a blast and take a bunch of cute pictures in front of the fire. You cuddle to sleep under the stars! Hoshi loves the outdoors, especially with you!

WONWOO

He'll be the first to admit that he's not the most outdoorsy person but he also doesn’t want you to think he’s incapable so he spends the weeks leading up to the trip researching tips and good equipment/brands online. You can tell that he wants to impress you, because he keeps cutely telling you fun facts the plants on the path and what to watch out for. You tease him for acting so reluctant to go camping when he clearly ‘knows his stuff’ lol. Sweet Wonwoo would be so cute about a camping trip with you.

WOOZI

Hates this idea lol. Woozi is for the indoor girlies. It’s not like he HATES the outdoors, but he’d much rather have a quiet getaway in a nice hotel, or even a cabin. You guys would compromise by renting one of those posh Airbnb tiny houses in the woods. It’s got amenities and great views of nature, so you’re both happy and end up having a fabulous time together.

THE8

Minghao and you go camping all the time! You both love being out in the quiet of nature, and have a fun time hiking around, gently observing the good views of the forest together, and meditating by a stream/waterfall together. Very peaceful activity for both of you and you make a point to go camping together at least a few times a year!

MINGYU

Capable king. Even if he doesn’t camp that often, he is good at it. His biggest challenges are fitting inside the tent and getting scared from random noises at night. But you think it’s cute how he goes from sexy mountain man to scared little baby so fast. He wakes you up in the middle of the night because he thinks he can hear a bear. it turns out to be a cute little raccoon. but that doesn’t matter because Mingyu screams loud anyway, trying to shoo it away from your garbage. Camping with Kim Mingyu is fun!

DK

I can’t imagine a more unserious person to go camping with. He would be super gung-ho at first and react really cutely to all of the beautiful nature (pretty much all he says for the first hour or so of your hike is “Wow!!” and “YN look at this!”) but he gets more and more annoyed with all of the bugs and then gets very scared when it gets dark. Luckily you set up camp before it gets too dark out, but DK is still clinging to you for protection. He excitedly agrees to your challenge of a s’mores eating contest to distract him but he ends up complaining—saying he ate too much while pouting and blaming you. Never a dull moment with DK!

SEUNGKWAN

You initially scoffed (before you could hide it) when Seungkwan suggested that you two take a camping trip, but now that you’re here at the campsite, it’s really nice! You realized that Seungkwan’s version of camping is more like glamping, which you’re lowkey relieved about because you weren’t sure if you could handle really roughing it with Seungkwan overnight. But you end up barbequing together and getting a little tipsy—laughing and talking very late into the night together.

VERNON

Very comfortable with letting you take the lead as you hike and is helpful setting up the camp but not exactly experienced. He hasn’t been camping since he was a kid and he doesn’t try to hide it haha. Vernon is so cute. He does exactly what you tell him to do and gets really excited to make smores. His whole expression is filled with wonder, like he’s discovering the great outdoors for the first time.

DINO

Would put on an impromptu performance by the campfire (which was set up mostly by you but he insists he was the one that really got it to light). But you two make a perfect camping trip team. You’re the logistics and he brings the pizazz. You end up camping at pretty close to other people, but you enjoy the less isolated vibe as you drink and grill into the night!

[love-hs28]

It’s okay, you’re allowed to feel this way.

Having to stay after school for Chemistry help wasn't the most ideal situation to be in after having a bad day. And coming home to Peter being so nice makes it almost impossible to hold your emotions in. (You’re living with Peter, May, and Ben bc your parents died in an accident. Not important to the story but jsyk)

CW: Reader has panic attack & cries a bunch Hurt/Comfort & Fluff Reader's gender isn't specified 1.3k Words Posted on 5-25-24

My third post, ahhhh!! I cannot thank you guys enough for the love I've seen so far on my first two posts. PLEASE lmk what else you'd like to see! I hope you enjoy this one!!

You had to stay after school one day to get some extra help with your chemistry homework. You didn’t struggle much in your classes, but for some reason, your chemistry class had been giving you absolute hell all semester. It never seemed like you could get the hang of it, and just when you were starting to think you were understanding what was going on, a new concept would be introduced and your progress would restart from the beginning. Peter usually helps you with any tough classwork because he always seems to know what the teacher is going to teach before class even starts, but this time your teacher insisted that you stay after so you could get some ‘real’ help, whatever that meant. You’re pretty sure that if she was actually able to teach you better than Peter could you would have already asked her for help, but whatever. 

You come home and slam the front door as you walk in. May and Ben are still at work and Peter is in the shed working on something for his suit, as he typically is after a school day. You kick your shoes off and angrily walk upstairs. Your bedroom door slams shut as you carelessly toss your backpack on the floor, sitting on the edge of your bed with your face in your hands. You’d felt anxious all day and having to stay after for fucking chemistry and still not understanding it definitely wasn’t helping. You try to control your breathing and just forget about the day and focus on the plans you had with Peter later. 

Out in the shed, Peter could sense that you were home, (he also heard the front door slam), which meant that he could also tell that you weren’t in the best state. He set aside his spidey stuff and made his way into the house and to your room. 

You hear a gentle knock on the door and Peter hesitantly saying your name. “Y/n? You in there?” 

You sigh and look up. “Yeah.” 

He cracks the door open and peaks in. “Can I come in?” 

You muster a smile, “Sure.” 

He comes in and shuts the door behind him. He gives a warm smile and comes over to give you a kiss and plops down next to you. 

“Hey bub. How was your day?” He absentmindedly rubs your knee with his hand. You know he already knows how your day went and is just trying to be nice. 

You sigh, “Shit. How was yours?” 

He frowns and tucks a hair behind your ear. “Mine was boring. Much better now though; why was it bad?” 

You sigh and stand up and begin to pace. “Well, as you know, I had to stay after for chem help and I’m sure you can guess how that went. I literally cannot fucking understand it no matter how hard I try and it gets so annoying because I’m good in like every other subject but that and I just don’t understand why.” You run your hands over your face and Peter is looking at you, concerned but attentive. “Not to mention the subway ride home was horrible; I had to sit across from this creepy fucking pedo who wouldn’t stop starting at me and he fucking winked at me when I got up to leave,” Tears start prickling in your eyes and your breathing gets heavy and uneasy. Peter notices this and you see that he’s about to get up and come over to you. “And to make it all worse, I saw a stray dog on the way home and he was just limping and I think he hurt his paw or something and I wanted to go help him but I didn’t know if he was a nice dog or whatever so I didn’t want to risk it but he looked so sad and helpless and I felt so bad and now I wanna go back and find him and help him or take him somewhere or something because it’s not fair that he has to be all alone and scared especially when it's getting so cold and I also think I’m about to start my period so that doesn’t fucking help and I’m just-” You’re fully crying now, on the verge of sobbing, and Peter comes over and wraps his arms around you. You bring your hands up to his chest and sob into his shirt while he gently rubs your back. 

He guides the two of you over to your bed and you sit down, your body turned into him and his arms still around you. “It’s okay, honey. Let it out, I got you.” 

You sob and your breath is coming in short gasps. Peter softly kisses your head over and over again to try and calm you down. 

“I’m s-sorry. I don’t know w-why I’m such a m-mess.” You grip his shirt as tears stream down your face. You can feel him shake his head and gently shush you. 

“Shh, don’t apologize. It’s okay. You’re allowed to feel this way, I’m right here.” 

You let out another sob because he’s being so nice and his hand that's not on your back comes up to brush your hair out of your face. As always, when the tears start to die down, the uneven breathing picks up. Peter knows this pattern by now, and rubs your back more firmly. 

“Deep breaths, baby. Follow my breathing, okay?” He exaggeratedly takes deep breaths while maintaining eye contact and you try your best to match the rise and fall of his chest, focusing on his heartbeat under your ear. 

When your breathing eventually slows down, you pull back a bit to sit more upright and rub your eyes, hiccuping. Peter gently puts a hand on the side of your face and tilts it so you’re looking at him. He has a sad but loving look in his eyes that almost makes you want to start crying again. He uses his thumb to gently wipe the remaining tears on your face and kisses your forehead. 

You lean your head to rest on his chest and he rests his head on top of yours. You take a few more deep breaths before leaning up again to look at him. He kisses your forehead once more and softly smiles. 

“Thank you,” you whisper, and wrap your arms around his neck for a hug. He holds you close to him as you breathe him in, the last step to really calming you down.

“Don’t thank me, Y/n/n. ‘s what I’m here for. I’m sorry your day was so shit, you don’t deserve that.” 

You lightly shrug and lean back to softly kiss his lips. “You made it better, it’s okay.”

He smiles and tucks a hair behind your ear. “If you want, we can postpone our date tonight and just stay in and watch a movie. Whatever you want.” 

You shake your head, “No, I think going out to do something will actually help. Get my mind off everything, y’know.” 

He smiles and nods. “Good, because I’ve got something planned that you’re gonna loooveeee,” He says teasingly, and you laugh as he moves you both in a lying position. 

“Oh really, what is it??” You rest your head on his chest and pull one of your legs up over his. He pulls the blanket over you two and takes your hand into his to play with his fingers. 

“Nope, sorry bug, it’s a surprise.” 

You giggle through your nose and snuggle into him. “Well, I’m very excited.” 

He kisses your head once more and you lay there for a bit while he plays with your hair and rubs your back, and you’re finally at peace. 

Hope you enjoyed! As always, please leave requests and such for me. Love you all <3

[steddieas-shegoes]

hello again! here's an angsty little steddie thought for you, because I'm sad and i am putting my guys in angsty situations in my head to make me more sad because the brain is funny like that: Steve decides to swing by to visit Eddie after his shift. They've been hanging out a lot more lately,with Robin off to college and the kids preoccupied with school. It's something he looks forward to. He's been spending the day thinking bout the things Eddie says when it's just them. The way he tells Steve that people underestimate him, especially his intelligence. The jokes they share, the soft gazes over a blunt on the front porch. The best part of Steve's day. Truly the best part of his life, nowadays. Especially the soft moments they have together, where Eddie kisses his hairline with a hand resting on Steve's thigh. It's happened a few times but it never turns into a full fledged kiss, but he KNOWS it'll happen soon. He's about to knock on the trailer door when he hears Eddie chatting with his band mates, which is a surprise because band practice is on thursdays not wednesdays,but that's okay maybe he can get to know them a little bit-. "What are you even talking about, Eddie? you're practically drooling over Harrington every time he walks by" His hand freezes mid air and he blushes to himself. "Harrington? nah he is NOT my type." And that? oh. that's...not ideal. But, maybe he can switch up his style a little bit? He knows Eddie isn't the type to wear polos, that's. That's alright. "No way you're SUCH a liar!" "I'm not lying!" Maybe he's just trying to hide his crush?(Images flash in his mind of Eddie's hand creeping up his thigh, and his breath on his neck,before blushing and turning away. Placing his hands back onto his own lap. A soft smile and a blush high on his cheeks.) Maybe he's- "Okay shut up, I'll admit he's easy on the eyes. But dudes only got like two brain cells to rub together." Huh? But he told him monday that- ("You're so smart Stevie, they don't give you enough credit.") "I thought you hung out with him a bunch lately?" "Yeah,it beats watching wheel of fortune. It's funny to listen to what the king has to say, it's like talking to a door stopper." ("You always have something interesting to say.") The echoing laughter rushes through Steve's ears,grips his heart like a vice, before settling like a brick in his stomach. "Nothing behind those eyes!" (I always used to think your eyes were brown, Stevie. But there's green, and red!) Right. That's, that's. Hmm. That's. Go home. It's time to go home. "What was that?" Run back to the car. "Stevie?"Don't say anything. Get your keys get out TWOBRAINCELLS get OUT OF HERE YOU MORON. "Hey wait don't leave, did you uh overhear, of course you heard. God Steve I didn't mean it,I swear. i was just talking a big- I'm so sor-"Don'tlisten.Don'tcryyouidiot.STARTTHECARGETOUTOFHERE.ofcoursenot!ofcoursehedoesntwantyou!ofcoursehedidntthinkyouweresmart.stopcryinggohomegohomehedoesntwantyouherehedoesntwantyouatall.stopcrying.dryyour eyes(NOTHINGBEHINDTHOSEYES). just stop. Get out of here.

Hey

I’m holding your hand when I say this

how dare you (affectionate)

this broke my heart into 726251527382 pieces

in my head, Eddie follows him and begs for forgiveness and Steve makes him work for it because he’s not gonna let anyone in his life who won’t be all in even if it’s just as friends

Eddie does work for it. Harder than he worked to do anything else

he knows he fucked up so bad and just got carried away trying to get his bandmates off his back. he really genuinely didn’t believe anything he said but now he knows Steve thinks he did and he shouldn’t have even said it as a joke or exaggeration regardless of if Steve would hear or not

He even shows up the morning of Robin’s going away party to help run errands for Steve and set up in the rain that wasn’t in the forecast. Steve finds him crying on the back patio over one of the decorations that got ruined by the rain, and he apologizes a million times “I know it’s not enough it’ll never be enough but you have to know I wouldn’t do it on purpose I didn’t know there was rain coming and I would’ve kept it all inside” and then Steve is holding him and telling him it’s okay, all of it is okay

I can’t keep them sad for long it’s my most ridiculous trait

[ntls-24722]

Hey so... Have you thought much about how disability is treated in your various societies? Like with the Debus and stuff? I've been thinking about it for a little bit and got curious 👀

Yes actually!

For disabilities involving mobility, I had sketched out some really clunky ideas for a Debu crutch and some accessibility for their mountain cave-dwellings awhile ago, so I revamped them! The crutch was specifically made for the situation where, say you have an arm compromised, but it's an inconvenient arm like a back or front arm that's mostly tasked for stability, so your balance is off. So there would be a crutch/walker for that, where you could bring support to the back or front and balance yourself better. And for their cliff dwellings, there could be these adobe-rock torons to help climb up with your arms and your mouth. Ideally, a settlement would have terraces up to your residents, but that takes awhile, so torons and pulleys could be an option. (I got inspired by the Great Mosque of Djenne for the torons)

Then there's wheelchairs!

So, just a disclaimer, some of these wheelchair designs might not be around at the time that homo mousike is set in, homo mousike is set around when history just began and as you can imagine, technology isn't really that far yet (the first self-propelled wheelchair was invented 1655)

The bottom design was my first design before i realized, "hey, don't... dogs... have wheelchairs... why don't I just do it like that." The first/top design was my second try which eliminates most of the problems with the first, the main one being: Debu are really goddamn heavy. REALLY heavy. So heavy, in fact, that they can't actually lay down for long periods of time, because their own weight will cut off their blood circulation and get pressure wounds. It's why Debu caves are filled to the brim with bedding so they can lay down for longer - and why my first try at a debu wheelchair was less a wheelchair but a bed on wheels. I guess it's still viable and its design feels/looks more vintage to the point I think that this might become the OG Debu wheelchair that would've been present around now.

Then there's blindness and deafness. Blindness is actually much better to have in Debu society??? Debu are actually not that great at seeing in the first place - their eyes are uniquely sensitive to color, but not to sharpness. And besides, Debu dwellings are in complete darkness except for one room. And because of the fact they live in complete darkness, Debu are historically inclined towards tactile language rather than sign language, which is a mode that deaf and non-deaf individuals alike usually communicate through. Written language is actually equally tactile in some cultures, with valley debu writing stories with beads that can be read by being felt, or read "aloud" by dragging the hoof across the text.

I also find it cool that alphabet letters are physical objects so you can go and buy a bunch of A beads. Defeated teacher at the store, buying a lot of C's and D's after a spelling test

Now onto zebramen.

When it comes to mobile disabilities, interestingly... you'd have a lot less problems in zebraman society out of all of them, which is ironic considering they're constantly on the run.

Before I go into that, I have to describe zebraman society: Instead of civilization forming once populations began to settle down into one place permanently and grow their food, zebraman civilization began when they left sedentary settlements to herd animals, leaving behind the seeds of swaths of crops months in advance in order to harvest them during circular trips around their massive, plains territories. Zebramen are similar to humans where they're able to run for very long periods of time, and they use this less to be persistence hunters but to guide their massive herds along "crop stops" that both they and their herd gather and eat from. They do run along their herds on foot, but those are generally zebramen with the specific job for doing so.

When it comes to the rest of zebramen, they practically live in their carriages, drawn by cloe-mena. They're not particularly fast, but they're really damn strong. As a mountain cow, they were originally built for hoisting themselves up mountains and are perfect picks for drawing carriages for one or two zebramen - or a massive brigade carrying an entire community.

That is all to say that since zebramen spend most of their time riding in their carriages, not being able to walk isn't too much of a damper. Zebramen are, still currently in their ancient Sumer-adjacent technological era though, so they might instead have a wheelbarrow, or smaller wagon with a service animal that they ride instead of a wheelchair since those might still not be widely made/widely available. There may be a cultural result to this where people in wheelchairs are seen as wise and down to earth, the same way we see people with glasses as smart, since they'd have a closer relationship with animals, which is a big ideal in zebramen.

But in the future, Zebramen's wheelchairs would end up looking really similar to ours, except there's more footrests in the front to accommodate their frontmost and middle legs, a cutout in the back to rest the back legs, and the lack of an armrest. Zebrapeople naturally keep their arms in a mantis posture, so having an armrest would just get in the way of trying to propel themselves.

Zebrapeople have generally the same crutches as us, too.

Zebrapeople are inclined towards sign since they're more visually oriented than Debu, so that's another similarity between us, but also because their fingers are stupid flexible and weird freaky cool signs are able to be made. Zebrapeople have the benefit of their sign languages being less species-exclusive between them, since zebraelves and zebramen have the same hands and much of the same languages, they get to share the same sign languages.

Zebrapeople do struggle with written language for the blind though, since paper's a very recent and very popular invention that has yet to find itself a widely used tactile way to read its text. The ones currently around similar to moon type where letters are instead raised curves and angled lines.

So onto what zebraelves have different for mobility impairments!

So, the zebraelf wheelchair might be a little different. Their butts are at an angle, which is why they can seamlessly go from octopodal to hexapodal, so they sit as if they're leaned forward. And that gave me an idea because this was the first self-propelled wheelchair invented by Stephan Farffler when he was 22 and this fucks severely.

That's COOL. This is COOL. And it's the same principle that bikes were improved with, so thank him, every cyclist ever

But, I kind of get why this didn't completely stick around. You kind of have to reach forward for this, which you might not be able to do. You see where I'm going with this?

Zebraelves live in trees though, carts like this are primarily for walking on ground. Yet, I would argue this only makes things better for disabled zebraelves because zebraelves are also really good at living in trees.

Their bodies are small and compact, and their bodies are adapted for both walking and swinging/generally hanging on and across branches. Having monkey bars on just about everything is used by everyone. Even if you're without the use of arms, your legs are morphologically the same as your arms, and you're free to use those, too. When you can't use either, there's still pulley systems to help you to get places.

And to answer your other ask, happy disability pride month!

[brazenautomaton]

hi hi ^.^

no amount of me reading Marx changes the fact that communists are wrong about everything they say, in a very predictable way

i want to complain about this. i want to say that its unfair, or overly harsh, or something like that... its hard to do that though since i basically agree XD

the thing about communism is that its an idea with very broad appeal, that many different kinds of people end up identifying with. unfortunately, as with any popular idea, a great many of the people who identify with it will have terrible opinions.

so i can understand why you feel the way you do, but i hope you're able to keep your mind open to the possibility of communists having worthwhile insights sometimes.

(disclaimer that many people would probably think of me as a communist, even though i don't necessarily identify with that term and merely have an appreciation for some ideas related to it. i just want to be clear that i'm not trying to like trick you into an ideological betrayal of your ideals or something, i just feel like you've over-corrected in response to many communists being insufferable idiots.)

okay I'm gonna say your intentions are probably pure, but every other communist can also say that, and a lot of them do, and all of them are wrong

other communists aren't crazy and wrong because they're bad people in addition to being communists. they are always wrong because communism is a belief system that cannot make accurate predictions about the world, and they have adopted that belief system to try and make predictions about the world. it is not a moral issue, communists are not wrong because they hate the rich too much instead of hating them the correct amount, communists do not become wrong when they "take it too far" -- if you look at the world the way Marx did, you are incorrect. You will explain things in terms of capital and class interests, and those explanations will be incorrect.

Marxism has a worse track record than astrology, as far as making predictions goes. Astrology has no insight to offer, not because believers in astrology are evil, not because some people take astrology too far, but because the world does not work the way astrology says it works. Whatever ideas associated with it that you appreciate are incorrect, and they're incorrect in a very very deep fundamental way, they made a bunch of very wrong assumptions before you even noticed them saying anything.

"Poor people should be able to live nicely" is not a communist insight, it's a nearly universally held position. Communism claims to be synonymous with the well-being of poor people because people who are always wrong like to fall back on "well, all I'm saying is this uncontroversially and universally agreed on thing, so if you disagree you must hate the thing everyone likes." Communism is also a set of beliefs about who the poor are, what situation they are in, what causes that situation, what will change that situation, and what will benefit those people-- and every single one of those beliefs is incorrect. They don't know what is happening or why or how or to whom or how to change anything to get the outcome they want. That's not an individual moral failing, that's what happens when you try to use communism's worldview to answer questions.

[theresattrpgforthat]

Learning How to Play Protect the Child: Part 3, Resistance.

If you have never played a Forged in the Dark game before, picking up one can be intimidating, and that includes Protect the Child. In a Part 1, I introduced the Action Roll, as well as Position & Effect. In Part 2, I talk about Assembling your dice.

Today, I’m going to talk about Resistance.

So you’ve rolled the dice, and you’ve gotten a result that’s lower than a 6. Well gosh darn it, I guess it’s time for some consequences.

If you were running away from the Wild Hunt and you rolled a 1-3, maybe you trip, skin your knee, and drop the Child - not great, and it’s likely going to lead to turning around and actually fighting a bunch of pumpkin-headed huntsmen.

If you were trying to set up for the kid’s dance recital and you rolled a 4 / 5, perhaps you get set up in time, but in the process you accidentally break a chair in half, and increase the principal’s suspicion that you’re not a good parent after all. Also not ideal!

Sometimes these consequences will be simply narrative, like falling off your horse or letting out a crucial piece of information. In other situations, you lose a point of Trust with the Kid, or make the next action even more difficult. There’s also consequences that make future rolls suck really bad - in Protect the Child, these are called Knocks.

Your character can only have so many Knocks, with three levels: Minor, Moderate, and Major. Minor Knocks make each Effect level of related rolls worse. Moderate Knocks make each relevant dice pool smaller by 1 dice. And Major Knocks hinder you from doing anything without getting help from a crew member.

If you don’t like the consequences of these actions, you can choose to resist them. Resistance involves telling the group “I think I”m going to resist that,” and then consulting your stat block to determine your resistance dice.

Do you see that column to the far left? That’s your resistance column. If you spread out your dice amongst your various stats, you’ll be less specialized in any given stat, but you’ll be pretty great at resistance. This example stat block has 3 pips in the resistance column, so the player would roll 3 dice.

When you roll for resistance, you’re going to be looking for the highest number, just like when you roll for an action roll. The higher, the better. The result of the resistance roll will always allow you to reduce or avoid the consequences, but the number determines how much Stress you’ll have to mark, by subtracting your highest number from 6.

As you can see in this digital dice roll, since the highest number was a 4, the player will have to mark 2 stress. Let’s say the player already had 1 stress on their Stress Clock: that means that their Stress Clock now looks like this:

After you resist, you then describe to the table why the damage isn’t as bad as it looks. Maybe you broke a chair, but you managed to hide it before the principal found out. Maybe you tripped, but you catch yourself and the Child doesn’t fly head-first into a bush.

Depending on what’s happening in the fiction, or how many consequences you’ve taken on, you might be able to resist all of the consequences, or only some of them. If you fail on a controlled roll, you’ll likely be able to resist everything. If you get an even just a partial success on a desperate roll, you’ll probably only be able to get rid of so much.

As you can see from last week’s explanation and this one, the Stress Clock is a great way to control the narrative and make sure nothing too bad actually happens. It’s also a great player tool to make bad things happen later. In Part 4, I’m going to talk more about Stress, and the unique tool I’ve created for Protect the Child - Reactions!

If you want to start learning how to play Protect the Child, I recommend taking a look at the Google Spreadsheets linked on the store page and flipping through the character tabs. The Quickstart characters are 90% fleshed out and can give you an idea of what different character pieces can look like, and there’s a rules reference for how to roll underneath the stats for each character.

I also believe that playing is one of the easiest ways to learn, so if you want some hands on experience, hop into the playtest discord! There is at least one game happening every week designed to be easy for first-timers to hop into and give it a whirl.

If you want to read more about Forged in the Dark play, you can check out my intro to Forged in the Dark, as well as my explanation of clocks!

[fortheloveofarchons]

My opinions on Sunday from Honkai: Star Rail

C.W. Contains spoilers after the 2.2 Honkai: Star Rail Trailblazer Quest + theories and lore

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I kinda agree with his philosophies and thinking... to some extent...

Okay hear me out!!!

We all know by now that Sunday's whole motive is to protect everyone and ensure that they won't have to suffer anymore (like when he states that he wants everyone to have seven rest days). I can empathise with his character so much, as someone who (as ridiculous and cowardly as it sounds) is afraid to face the harsh realities of life. I mean, even if he's set as a villain, he is as gentle and empathetic as his sister Robin, just that they both express it differently.

Seeing the cutscenes of him and Robin from their past to the present was just so immersive, because Sunday brings up some very demoralizing and harsh situations that he faced back then, and we, the audience, can understand and relate to struggling to cope with his disappointment, frustration, grief, and anger - all while often having little to no power to change things.

From the way Sunday is acting, he seems more like a traumatised parental figure (as we've seen the reason why Robin has to wear excessive neck accessories due to her being shot) who cannot let go and provide his care and safe environment for his loved ones.

Moreover, his ideologies felt surreal as I myself would take that path since I can relate to his trauma and ideals (and also as someone who has a sibling too)

His viewpoint is understandable, but...

Taking away the basic right of an individual's free will for safety is always a controversial issue.

As Himeko once called out Sunday, she states that he's just going to trap everyone in a bird cage through eternal slumber, which robs them their freedom and agency.

Plus, from what Robin said, if Sunday's plan worked, he's going to hurt himself too. Because Sunday will be in charge of everything and everyone, he won't even have time to rest, causing his body and mind to be exhausted to the bone (maybe possible cause his mind and body to corrode cause he needs to rest at one point)

Moreover, Firefly made a good point disapproving Sunday's point that he should not assume just because someone is weak doesn't mean that they should automatically escape to fantasy. It is up to you to be strong so you can fly into the sky, and that not everyone who is weak should be weak.

I remember someone commenting on Youtube stating that Sunday protects Robin so much, that Sunday doesn't even know how to protect himself for facing the outside world. It's kind of ironic considering that Sunday is supposed to be the protective, influential type of characters in Penacony, yet he barely knows how to fly. Robin, however, took the opportunity to spread her philosophies of Harmony and influence others in reality.

In conclusion, Sunday has the right idea, it's just that he has a terrible execution. But I know that there are some people who don't mind, I've been on Instagram to see a lot of people agreeing with his views... yes I'm talking about all those sunday stans cause I've seen a lot from them

(I ain't complaining plz we need more Sunday content!!!)

I mean-- in reality I wouldn't agree; but in this story, I would agree with him. (if we don't consider my simping and bias because that has the most influence)

Honestly, I'm hoping he gets a redemption arc because I really love him (I personally wouldn't mind if Sunday gets the Wanderer treatment from Genshin Impact if it means that Sunday will be playable), and hoping that he is really alive (as stated by the leakers that Sunday has a bunch of specific codes and emotion codes that's exclusive to playable characters).

That said, may we Sunday havers have more Sunday content and playable Sunday in the future!!! I'm gonna write a fic for Sunday so stay tuned!!

Let me know what you guys think of Sunday! Do you think he'll get redeemed? Playable? Alive?

PETITION TO MAKE EVERYDAY SUNDAYYY!!!!!!

[fumiku]

Hear ye hear ye!

I come bringing two Dungeon Meshi marchil fanfics to share

Enough

He got crumbs of it in moments, here and there, and it would be more than enough to last the winter. Chil knew how to live on little, with only what he could afford. But love? Love he had had enough of for a lifetime.

I'll start with the shorter one that I wrote first, a quick Chilchuck POV 1.3k words oneshot that's bittersweet if not just plainly sad. It’s about repressing a crush essentially, but the marchil is mostly a front for a character study about Chilchuck’s complex feelings on his marital situation and love in general. I’ve been told many times in comments that even without shipping marchil it was enjoyable, so give it a shot if that sounds interesting!

He soaked her in, like hard bread softening in broth.

Grind Me Down Sweetly

Even years after their journey into the dungeon, Marcille wasn’t quite over her existential dread over short lifespans… And it showed. Every other day, she came by to Chilchuck’s locksmith shop with a shocking lack of locks to smith.

Coffeeshop au except it’s not an au and there’s no coffeeshop. This one is a long oneshot of 17k words, and contains flashbacks that are meant to loosely span over a year. This fic can pretty much be entirely read as platonic. They’re just close friends but they give married energy is all. Slice of life and cozy with a side of banter & tsundere behavior, and existential dread hurt/comfort as the cherry on the sundae. It contains some classic Dungeon Meshi things like storytelling through cooking and sharing meals~ If you like the Marcille and Chilchuck dynamic in canon, this is pretty much just a bunch of that, shenanigans abound!

She clung to her friends like time was always running out.

Blonde hair is the epitome of beauty to him meanwhile his greying hair brings her existential despair. I am composed and collected about this

"I am going to chase you out with a broom"

Some related-ish memes I made!

Extra author notes and marchil rambling under cut

With how chil is so irritable and private about romance and his feelings it makes sense that their romance would have passive-agressive energy. Are they just friends or pining? Oh wouldn’t you like to know. Are they just lightheartedly bantering or is he legitimately pissed or are they blinking in morse code their true feelings at each other? Yes

My post-canon timeline is Chilchuck lives a nice life living alone in his house-shop except his friends all visit him and care, and even though he likes living alone it’s also bittersweet and every corner of his life is haunted by the ones he loves and loved and the moments he had with them. That’s it that’s all I want… (mostly the nice life part lol)

My marchil manifesto is that she grows on him stubbornly like fungal yeast and it brings out his flavor like beer <3 Because she stubbornly puts her nose everywhere and refuses to give up on getting closer to her friends and it makes him open up and repress his feelings less and aaaa <33 Obligatory shout out to the dunmeshi discord serv for engaging with my rambles

For someone who dislikes alcohol I’m having so much fun working beer metaphors and stuff into the writing, Chilchuck has all the fun motifs to play with fr... Traps, lockpicking, married life, work, destitution, starvation, rejection, repression, opening urself up to the world. Give me the most domestic fluff and give it a subtle foundation of angst and hurt comfort 👌

And I do think that Marcille takes a particular interest in Chilchuck especially because he’s so set on being a closed book as well. Yeah she def is like 👀 at him. Aaah the way she wants to meet his family so bad 😭💕 I think she romanticizes him & his family life/idealizes him as a virtuous husband a lot too. Like how she tends to think of things in a more flowery story-like way.

I do compare him to bread and her to soup in that he soaks up in her warm vibes and softens up. Which has become a personal favorite. He was bread, she was soup, can I make it any more obvious /lyr Soggy bread Chilchuck is so funny to me. Like, you know that rock solid bread but then you soak it in soup and then it just becomes the softest crumbliest thing. I think Chilchuck is a really hard bread that will break your teeth if you don’t put him in some soup beforehand. Or wine. I wracked my brain a lot about what food Chil would like (because his Adventurer’s Bible profile just says he love alcohol and hates sweet dishes rip) and I end up giving him a bread motif a lot, since it pairs well with alcohol and whatnot.

With marchil I either do unrequited angst because Chilchuck will NOT allow himself to feel, or the most domestic fluffy shit ever but in a mostly platonic dimension because once again -gestures at Chilchuck- But in a true Marcille "If I was Chilchuck’s wife" Donato fashion she manages to get her nose into the most stubborn’s people stuff like a barnacle and it’s. So married people coded anyways. They’re a lil messed up but it’s ok they’ll iron out those bumps. Ironing because they are gonna do the most domestic chores together 🔥🔥 MARRIEDCORE I TELL YOU I should get around to making more fics and more different vibes though, I already have a bunch of prompts written down~

Even more rambling and headcanons!!

I hc that when he gets his shop all his living quarters are half-foot sized so whenever the party comes to visit they suffer sitting down at the dinner table and whatnot

There’s a very specific horror in not being able to grow old with your loved one… It’s gotta be rough being in a relationship where you don’t mature at the same speed/rate. It must be so heartbreaking to turn around and your lover suddenly looks 70 while you’re still like 26 Chilchuck living until he lives with either Meijack or Flertom or at the castle and spends his days grumbling about people being even more incompetent than they used to be real. He can live longer than 50 🙏 come on peepaw you can make it to 70. He’s got so many friends ready to nurse him, prob while he complains about it. This is why I find elderly half-foots a funny mental picture. For a while I wondered if half-foots aged visually much at all in the traditional sense, and then I remembered these.

In my post-canon headcanons I’ve adopted the idea that Marcille doesn’t do her hair, it’s always someone else making her hairdos like an attendant or Kabru and like maybe Falin learns. In the "it takes a village to raise someone" community mutual aid energy… And the rare times where the task befalls Chilchuck he learns how to put it in a single braid (even if it’s so much hair for him to hold in his small hands all at once rip) because the one time he braided it in two in canon it reminded him of Meijack and gave him psychic damage. WHICH. Ohhh my god you have no idea how much I care about Chilchuck’s daughters now. After writing the first half of Grind Me Down Sweetly I am forever changed I know them all by name and know everything there is to know about them, I am making so many headcanons every day… Meijack wears thigh-high boots because she hates when sand, dirt or snow gets in her shoes- I have fanart coming up of them over at @fuumiku and I’d love making fics centered around them as well eventually yippee The angst of old senile Chilchuck still tying marcille's hair... Old senile chilchuck confusing marcille for one of his daughters… "Have you gotten taller? Oh how much you’ve grown" -breaking his neck looking up at her- I want Chilchuck to get the top notch elder treatment.

Ok this is the alcoholism tangent. I really want to believe Chilchuck can be super old, but… Realistically he’s gonna drink himself to an early grave, he’s a work hard play hard kinda guy.

Marcille would be horrified if she knew the extent of it fr fr, but I do think it’d drive a wedge between them if she tried getting him to lay off of it… If he’s open to it though that’d be so nice and sweet. Hey hey btw did you know, Chilchuck is canonically underweight due to extremely strict dieting and alcohol can act as a good hunger suppressant! Lots of issues to dig into here It’d be cute if his daughters visit him often and collectively keep tabs on him in a caring way. It’s less cute actually beinh the daughter and having to deal with it but- CHILCHUCK IS WORTH IT okay!!! Where’s that meme of "You can fix him? So is 5 other people y’all look like a construction crew" bc this increasingly looks like ‘Marcille Senshi Laios Izutsumi and his family make sure he doesn’t poison himself like a dog with chocolate’ mission.

Truly for some people reason just flies out the window when it comes to alcohol, coherence gives way to excuses. He reminds of someone I know who got a grave disease that’s worsened by alcohol and just. Continues to take it regularly. You know that thing that’s said where "an alcoholic parent will have 2 kids, one will grow to be alcoholic too while the other will never touch a drop of alcohol" and Chilchuck is def the first I think. He gives the vibe that he’d say "An alcoholic parent puts a strain on familial relationships?? Pshh, my father was and look at me! I turned out great!". I don’t think Chil could really get shaken out of it at this point tbh, seems very ingrained in him, would prob fight it back. I relate with my own familial situation ughh. Maybe if he realized how it hurt the people around him and not only himself though…. I’d def like to see him ease up on it. Drinking is often a social activity though. That gives me hope, especially with the whole dunmeshi lesson of sharing meals, that he might be able to/have recontextualized how or when he likes to take alcohol, that alcohol is better when you have others with you and you’re still able to talk and whatnot. Chilchuck says that he’s pretty picky with alcohol tho, like he has specific tastes or a high bar. Laios can ban good beer in the kingdom and then Chilchuck just stops because it all tastes awful and he’s not rich enough to import. The brewery he likes mysteriously burns down in a fireball incident one night. Marcille risks prison for her loved ones part 2, now with diplomatic immunity! ✨

I have hcs about Chil’s family dynamic, about his daughters and how alcoholism or workaholism may have affected everyone (not me inferring that Puckpatti being the most idealistic and optimistic from Chil’s daughters is probably a result from her being the youngest and perhaps Chil being the most often at work during that time and so she was mostly raised by her mother without much involvement from him). That’s a topic for another day though, for now I leave you all with thoughts of Flertom painting flowers on a shitty ceramic mug when she was 3 and Chil begrudgingly asking Marcille advice on picking a birthday gift for Puckpatti :) Oh yeah, because if we look at the timeline in The Adventurer’s Bible and combine it with when Chilchuck said that "Due to certain circumstances he hasn’t seen his wife or daughters in years" in the Senshi backstory chapter, besides letters with Flertom he has seemingly not seen them in 4 years. 4 YEARS. Thank god dungeons disappeared, it took that much for him to retire

[alicerosejensen]

OK. I did it anyway! Finished the translation and tried as best he could. Part 3

I have a lot of debt, but I did it!

Good ending attached. If you like the bad ending of this story then please stop at 2 parts.

There's also a bit of angst here, a mention of smut.

I listened to a bunch of songs while writing this. In fact, there was a gigantic temptation to make Leon's girlfriend run away again, but I decided to fix the broken hearts of readers.

English is not my native language (I will write this as often as possible so that I don't get tomato thrown at me for mistakes). But I tried.

The text is quite large. I do not know if anyone has the strength to master it.

All efforts crumbled like a house of cards. All hopes that your relationship could still be saved were destroyed from the very day when you finally left, taking one suitcase with you.

For Leon, it was still an idiotic comedy that dragged on for a long time. He kept calling, texting, trying to talk to you about this misunderstanding. But you just cut him out of your life right away, without even giving him an attempt to explain everything.

But the comedy turned into a nightmare. Because Leon realized that you really left. A rather dirty game: to become the one who gave him peace and true love, and then in one second set fire to a small flowering island in his soul, leaving ashes behind.

Leon let you get too close to him. So close that he began to consider you his own. At some point, it even seemed to him that no one could love the way he loved you. But now you have turned the blue sky into black, discarding it as an unnecessary thing. Sometimes, stretching out his hand, lying on the bed, Leon woke up, thinking that since you are not around, then you are in the kitchen. You probably eat breakfast while looking at your phone.

But then he remembered.

You've gone. With tears, creating from his image a monster that hurt you throughout the relationship. You have done worse than Ada. It was a hundred times more painful. Leon knows it's crazy, but for just one night with you, he would give his life.

The only woman who has always been on his side. He wanted to feel the soft cotton of your gray T-shirt, but only your hands could be more gentle.

You have always been so pure that the world could be silenced by such innocence and angelic beauty. All the stars could go out if only something happened to you. You are a rare angel, in whose arms nothing hurts, who descended to him, to the last sinner, constantly fighting in an endless hell. Maybe someone decided that he received too much grace?

Leon would agree with that. But he's not ready to accept it. You said that you love him, despite the fact that he supposedly has feelings for Ada, and if he can convince you otherwise, then perhaps his beloved will return to him

But you didn't want to be in that cage. The whole situation with Leon, in your opinion, resembled the plot of Dolly Parton's song "Jolene", where Jolene is Ada Wong, whom you could beg not to take your lover. After all, as Jolene, Ada was the embodiment of an unearthly ideal. With a voice as soft as summer rain and with a smile like the breath of spring… Ha, you grinned remembering the words of the song.

What could you, a simple student, compare to this Ada-Jolene? Leon kept her compact in his bedside table and you still feel the reproach of envy that you will never become such a woman. You still cry when you think how many times he imagined an elusive mercenary in your place. But your happiness does not depend on Ada. You were able to find the strength to open the birdcage and run out to freedom, breathing in fresh air.

Leon used you. Crushed your heart into a piece of paper and threw it into the fire like the last scoundrel. But here you took out a burnt ember, intending to take care of it and already now you see that the first sprouts of trust in other men break into the light. However, love is not knocking at your door yet.

Because there is one huge problem: no matter how much pain Leon caused you, you want to leave him in your memories. Salty rivers of tears flow down your eyes almost every night, forcing you to curl up in the fetal position with your hands pressed to your chest when you read his messages. These are such ruthless blows that literally destroyed your soul. He's already traumatized you enough, so why doesn't he stop it already?!

The whole body and soul are screaming: help me! And the mind doesn't want to forget his fucking name and touch. You can't go back to Leon Scott Kennedy because he will bring nothing but evil. Say to yourself and remember forever: goodbye, my love for this man, because my heart can no longer bear this sick love.

You met in the spring and broke up in the spring. How much joy and sadness this time of year has brought you!

How much pain there is in the world, and all because of fucking love.

But for Leon it was completely different.

It was the middle of the day, when the sun was still high in the sky, promising to illuminate the streets with its light for at least another three or four hours. Late autumn time, Leon didn't want to get out of his mostly, alcohol-smelling apartment, but he had to write a report and hand it over to Hannigan, despite the overdue deadlines. To gather his thoughts a little for an answer, Leon went into a nice cafe, hiding from the strong wind, hoping that in addition to all kinds of desserts, he could order coffee to take away.

Ordinary strong coffee without sugar and hopes that it will not taste like bile.

The arrival of a new visitor was announced by a ringing bell, to the ringing of which the waiter immediately raised his head from his business. Leon was not going to linger, he walked past the tables with a few visitors until the familiar smell of women's perfume hit his nose.

And stopped.

He forgot about everything: Hannigan, the report, his job. About everything that brought him pain from your departure, because right now you were sitting with your back to him in a warm beige dress, holding a glass with some kind of drink with one hand and writing something in your notebook with the other pen, completely ignoring anyone.

All Leon wanted at this very second was to grab you in his arms and never let you go again.

How did this even happen? Why did you, loving him dearly, renounce him in an instant?

And yet your mere presence lifts him from the thorn-strewn earth. Only a meter separated you from each other, but Leon is already burning to the ground. It didn't matter if you were an angel or a demon, you were his love. His restless bird that flew away from him because it could. Because you believed he could still love another woman.

You look like two fools, each of whom believes in his own truth.

You were so serene, calm and nondescript to others. Strawberry ice cream almost melted from lack of your attention or you just didn't find it tasty enough to finish. Leon completely forgot why he came to this cafe. Illuminated by the evening sunlight, you looked like a work of art that you were so fond of.

A slight smile, careless strokes of a strange drawing in a notebook…you looked tired and a little thinner, but for him you remained the most beautiful. Aesthetic - Leon remembers that you like this word.

Did he have the right to disturb you? Like a mirage, Leon didn't want to scare away the one he loved because he knew if he touched you now, you would disappear again. Messages, calls - there were many of them and not one received a response.

If his love really brought you so much suffering, do you need it? Is he really that selfish? But now you tensed up, feeling someone else's gaze on your back, and as if small droplets of crystals began to beat anxiously against each other like wind music warning about who you are desperately trying to get out of your head.

But there was no soulful cry of "run."

You knew he was there. Behind. The heart did not stop with horror - it trembled with excitement. God, don't turn around! So much was lost because of Leon: dreams, hopes, trust, heart…

The palette of the endless emptiness of weekdays turned into slightly brighter colors.

Leon touched your shoulder and you shuddered lifting your head up. It was impossible to ignore this meeting and there was nowhere else to run. His touch was so welcome. The body responded to him by itself, trying to cling closer to feel the forgotten warmth. It was so good.

Suddenly you felt like a drug addict who received a long-awaited dose of the drug.

The purest buzz.

You still didn't say anything, just stared into those diamond eyes, completely losing yourself. By looking at it, you can experience all kinds of death. You wanted to finally surrender to him, submit and accept the inevitable, and then fall asleep in a tight embrace - all for the sake of the illusory hope of not being number 2.

What idiot said that time heals? There wasn't a night or a day when you didn't think about him.

You want to tell everyone to go to hell, and yourself first, because you're the last fool. A proud fool who can't live without him. Damn pride. Leon took a step forward, swallowing loudly, grabbing your shoulder with his other hand, but it didn't hurt. He looked at you as if he was afraid that you would melt into thin air.

You love each other very much, and each of you thinks that one of you does not love the other.

In an instant, everything collapsed in November. Leon knelt down, still squeezing your shoulders. Curse this month. He pressed you to him and you buried your face in his shoulder, inhaling the smell of a leather jacket and barely perceptible cologne. The stubble scratched the skin unpleasantly, but now these sensations were so pleasant.

If Leon doesn't disappear right now, it's going to be the worst month on the calendar. An unhappy month that will leave another stab wound. Your first true love and not a stupid infatuation…Whatever Carey says, it's impossible to forget Leon. There is no longer the strength to drown in it, grasping at a thin thread of feeling.

"Let's talk" - you're definitely a drug addict. His voice was like heroin causing euphoria. Rough and stringy at the same time. The infernal rejection started from him again.

The waiter's voice sounded like a soft soprano, and Leon reluctantly pulled away from you, but did not let go, as if he was afraid that you would jump up from your seat and run away, grabbing your coat. The lungs let out a heavy sigh, but you didn't want to talk to him. It was as if you were afraid that he would have words that would make you return to this anarchy of abnormal relationships. When he loves one woman and sleeps with a completely different one.

"I don't want to, go away," - you whispered, pushing him away with your palm. It was a terrible gesture. But you endured for a long time, accepting his lies, running after him like an obedient dog.

Love is not when it hurts you. And he mocks you and jokes, building those puppy dog eyes. He pretends that this separation is also hard for him. As if he wasn't a soulless being who took advantage of the trust of a girl in love with him.

But the idiotic heart keeps shouting to him, "Love me for a long, long time!" and Leon seems to hear him.

Leon grins, feeling butterflies flutter in his stomach. How many bridges can you burn?

But he strokes your head, runs his fingers through your hair.

"We'll just talk. Please stop ignoring me!"

"Stop foaming at the mouth to prove to me that the mysterious spy in red does not live in your head."

Keep your finger on the pulse and run. After paying for lunch, you grabbed your coat and walked briskly to the exit. And only when Leon caught up with you on the street, trying to stop you by grabbing your wrist, you turned into a scorpion who tried to escape using all his poison.

It's the same thing again.

"You're the worst thing that's ever happened in my life!"- that's what you finally shouted out to him along with all the other shit, but it was this phrase that killed him completely. The gaze seemed to read information from your face, as if checking it for truthfulness. The fucking detector gave out the truth.

"Someone like you never knew what love was. You know what's funny? To Ada Wong, you're just a puppet. A toy that she can play with whenever she wants, and then put it on the shelf and forget." - You poured out your burning poison, turning words into caustic acid to kill him once and for all, despite your tear-stained face. - "That's enough! I will never forgive you! Run after your elusive spy and leave me alone. I deserve to be happy. I'm already broken inside by your fucking love!"

It wasn't fair. You just tore him apart with those words. He's never even half loved you, he's never compared you to anyone! But nothing will bring you back to him. You will no longer illuminate his pitch darkness with your light. Leon really felt like a bastard who trampled on someone who loved him.

He stood there, looking after you, listening to your hysterical sobs, while you ran away again to lick the wounds inflicted. It seemed like you were about to fall to the ground and die from all this pain. All those months that you have not seen him, in no way helped you to stop loving this man. Because things have only gotten worse.

You wanted to lie down and die. Everything you were rebuilding exploded again, turning you into ruins. Ada Wong would never have allowed herself to do that. But the pain you felt became physical. Your head is spinning, the world has become so crazy and alien, sickeningly disgusting, because all the protective mechanisms of orgasm just fail you after all the continuous work. You just screamed from all the injustice that happened to you, and the name of this injustice was Leon S.Kennedy. The fucking bastard who caused you to fall into the mud, acting like an escaped lunatic.

"I hate you," - Leon heard it. The most terrible thing is that he realized that he was destroying you. Your body was experiencing physical pain - spasms, and you already needed professional help. And yet he cradled you like a baby in his arms until you fainted.

One thing you didn't have time to say: despite the fact that you were burning alive, your stupid little heart continues to seek salvation in Leon. It hurts her, but she calls him for help, begging for caring kisses and warm hugs.

What does it feel like to be a girl with a sensitive heart and a brave soul? The moment you discovered that he still loves Ada made you split into many pieces. Lying in a hospital bed, taking medications whose names you don't remember, you heard your mother's muffled crying and fell asleep under it, pulling the blanket over your shoulders, as if under a white noise. Your father stroked your head as if you were a child, slightly dulling the pain that was pounding in your chest.

"You will be sad and forget" - that's what your mother told you when she found out that the cause of the disease was a man. "You won't even remember that you once loved him there."

But you didn't want to forget him. You're so tired of falling asleep thinking about him… because even when you close your eyes like a phantom, you continue to see him. How can you live with this poison in your soul? Leon poisoned you and didn't even send you flowers, considering that he got you into the hospital because of him. And yet part of you was waiting for him to come.

Leon didn't come.

Nervous breakdown on the background of constant stress. Friends also came to find out about your well-being, but only Carey stayed for a long time, trying to pull you out of oblivion, which the brain could not cope with.

She didn't say a word about Leon, fearing that any mention of him would provoke a violent reaction again. Everyone kept saying that everything would be fine and you'd be coming home soon. Did you really feel a little better, but did you feel depressed just thinking about what would happen next? Your beloved friend disappeared as you wanted.

It is in vain to grieve about a failed relationship that was still beautiful, despite the subsequent horror.

"It was wonderful. Goodbye, Leon," you said to yourself when you found a little strength to admit that he is not a monster at all. Time is fleeting, and nothing lasts forever, and you are also unlucky to find happiness in this man.

Drive all thoughts of him away and remember that you are no longer the two of you. Find the strength to learn to live without him and suppressed the passionate feeling of rushing to him under the door banging on it with his fists.

Burn this brand on yourself.

In fact, even in the void can be cozy. When the day of discharge came, your father insisted that you come home again and recover a little from the experience. But you knew that if you came home, you would never erase Leon from your memory. If there was a record with his name on it, you would have listened to it until I broke it.

It's like you've been living in a dark paradise now. There are no medications for memory, but the ones that you started taking clearly muffle all feelings, allowing you to focus on studying. It was quiet and cold in this dark paradise because Leon wasn't there, but you still remembered how your pain-filled body fell to the floor. And yet there was one significant plus that allowed you to live - it was peaceful in this paradise.

And yet, as if you were a lost thing on the shelf, it did not leave you.

November is a really disgusting month. The whole world seemed to be turned upside down. There was the usual calmness with the absence of something important.

But then stability came.

You and Leon don't talk anymore. Apparently, what was said greatly influenced him, but the flowers in your soul still do not bloom. His love for you is still breathing and part of him knows that you love him, but he will prefer to give you a chance to forget him and all the memories associated with him, given how he hurt your soul.

He would like to stay in your life, but not after what he did.

Therefore, he was content with what was left to him. Polaroids from your vacation with him and memories…and some things that you forgot at his place. Meaningless little things, but he kept them. Everyone focused on their lives. You were riding with friends on a bike, exposing your face to the wind, hugging a friend. Leon is back from his work. And everyone missed the other.

But there is no desire to fall into this abyss anymore. Then it was time for healing, it seemed that the impossible was happening, but fate desperately liked to bring your roads together.

Your face is a real masterpiece against the background of daubs. Among the hundreds, Leon noticed you with your bestia when you were choosing some kind of gift, he looked at you from afar.

The cradle of his suffering… Leon feels like he is filled with love for you again, watching you laugh merrily after recovering from all the wounds that he inflicted on you. So cheerful… he had no right to be with you. With the people he values, something happens all the time, but this time he himself is the one who repeatedly stabbed in the back.

You never blamed Ada for your failure, only him, and it was deserved, because until the moment of your loss, Leon still found these meetings… more personal and intimate even if sex between them has not been for a long time. Just something else attracted him, but he would never let ordinary attraction destroy what he really loves.

However, that's exactly what he did. A stupid compact left somewhere in the corner of the bedside table, which he still had from China… you made the wrong conclusions by backing them up with that inappropriate message on his phone and it was still enough to leave him forever. But now you were laughing and it warmed Leon, how he wants to hear this sound again at home, along with numerous words of tenderness.

It was not worth looking at you for so long because some force pulling each other forced you to find this gaze from which you can die and rise again. Everything beautiful has remained very far away. None of you will say a simple "hello" to the other, and yet why are you silent like fools?

Thanks to the pills, all the senses were dulled a little, allowing a stupid thought to slip into your head - to talk to him.

The doctor prescribed you treatment: medications, rest and moderate physical activity, and somewhere between the lines he wrote in invisible ink "no Leon Kennedy." And you're drowning in this swamp again, violating all the doctor's orders. It doesn't hurt yet, but it's already scary to exhale if you stumble, fall into the water and have to start over.

These silent glances with each other… everyone is afraid to take an extra step, because everything can collapse. Leon doesn't want to be the cause of your tears, he's already brought enough shit to a dear person. Everything beautiful has remained very far away. None of you will say a simple "hello" to the other, and yet why are you silent like fools?

Thanks to the pills, all my senses were dulled a little, allowing a stupid thought to slip into my head - to talk to him. You said a lot to him that day, a lot of things he didn't really deserve, trapping him.

But only now are you wondering: did you notice any moments correctly or did you come up with a reason for leaving? After all, sometimes you could catch the scent of someone else's perfume on his clothes and still believe that there is only him and you. Maybe Ada marked it on purpose so that you could figure out who it really belongs to? What if it was her subtle sign for you?

"Stay away from my territory"

But there was another truth. Your bestie got distracted looking at some jewelry in the window when you watched Leon leave. Have you ever wondered who is a masochist God or is it you? It looks like it was you, because no god forced you to follow him. And Leon felt this persecution, which made him turn around when he saw your indecisive face.

You yourself took a step towards him, and the heart itself began to revive after a long hibernation. The truth is, you had no idea what to say.

It was you who wiped away his tears when he was in too much pain.

It was you who banished all his fears when he woke up in the middle of the night.

You were holding his hand. Not Ada.

"I'm sorry…" You nodded for some reason. - "I'm not… princess… this is a chance meeting. I didn't want to bother you, so you wouldn't think about me.

"I know." - Leon barely heard what you said to him, looking away from his eyes. "I'm sorry for what I said to you then.

"What?" - his reaction made your lips smile with a kind smile that he could not forget. Leon seemed really discouraged, but you just turned around to look at Carey to make sure she wouldn't go crazy when she saw who you were talking to. Definitely, it's all because of the pills.

"I said you were the worst thing that happened in my life, but that's not true. In fact, I only told you a lot because I wanted you to be as hurt as I was. However, I shouldn't have done that. You're a good man. I behaved terribly, like a naughty child."

Leon couldn't understand what had just happened to him. His pupils seemed to widen at the impossible words and your ridiculous apologies. After all, if anyone should be apologizing, it's him, because he drove you to a nervous breakdown. He shook his head, just in case checking to see if you were a figment of his imagination, but you were still standing there. Right in front of him. Was what was happening a prank?

Maybe it's karma?

"You don't have to apologize" - all Leon could squeeze out of himself and you just shrugged your shoulder for a long time without answering anything.

"I apologize for saying too much. It's my fault that I ended up in the hospital, not yours. But I'm not apologizing for that…" Ada's name stuck in throat.

"For leaving?" - Leon grinned when you silently agreed with him. - "At least you had the right to. I don't want to hurt you anymore. You've had enough of me already. "

He wanted to touch you. Just to touch your cheek or hand one last time. He didn't want to let you go, but he knew he couldn't keep around if you didn't want to. Leon snorts, trying to shake off this desire. What kind of kisses can we talk about if you don't love him? All hopes for at least some stability in his life burst like a balloon, and Leon himself held the needle in his hands.

"Thank you for your wonderful attitude!" - You shoot him again, saying these words, and Leon recoils from the one he was so eager to see. - "Even if we didn't succeed, I'm still grateful to you. The last few months have been difficult, but it's my own fault. You didn't promise me anything… I've had time to think. With this Ada, everything is much more complicated and longer for you than with me, and I probably didn't want to admit it to myself. I put on pink glasses and didn't want to see anything but pink shades. You didn't need my heart, and you told me about it at the very beginning, but that's how young she is…" - You laughed nervously, feeling that the effect of the pills seems to be starting to evaporate. - Someone has watched too many movies about love. Forgive me for these tantrums if you can."

Carey screamed loudly and you both turned around at her exclamation when she pulled you by the hand trying to take you away from this man. It even amused you a little, but something still pleased your poor soul more - you were able to admit to yourself that your fault was present in this breakup. Not just Leon.

Leon didn't have time to say a word, but it was in vain for him to be sad. You have forgiven him and yourself. It was the most important event that finally brought a bit of long-awaited relief.

There was only one thing you didn't want to understand, either the brain was using a dirty autosuggestion technique, or it was the pills that dorktor prescribed for you. but the point is this:

Kennedy needed your heart. He needed your love, because everything he had, he had already given to you.

He should have apologized, not you. He wanted to come to the hospital to pick you up, but changed his mind at the last moment, fearing that his presence would complicate the situation. And yet Leon followed you to the exit when Carey shouted at him not to dare approach.

It seems that this is the reason for your separation . The one who hammered into you the idiotic idea that you were his "meat for fucking".

But you are no longer running away from him, however, is it really necessary to break into an already destroyed world again, where he destroyed everything. Leon no longer leaves messages, does not call and does not look for a meeting, and you also began to live quietly feeling only constant fatigue and unwillingness to do anything. And it didn't work out with the guys, there were friends, but it didn't go beyond fun gatherings, even if they tried to flirt.

Looks like your heart still belongs to Leon. For him, it's probably a souvenir, and you have a hole in your chest.

Do you remember that bar where we met for the first time? Now, sitting at the same table, you're looking at the place where Leon was with some damn expensive bottle of whiskey. Without thinking about anything. You straightened your legs and just indulged in sweet memories that no longer caused any harm. It's a little sad, but you're still too young to be disappointed in yourself.

Previously, there was some kind of vigorous cocktail of disappointment, hatred, sadness and contempt inside, but now there is absolutely nothing. It's like you finally got a sobering slap in the face, returning to your former state and admitting that suffering is shit.

Was there any point in talking to Leon? He's probably already broken up with his feeble-minded girlfriend and now he's either found another one or is chasing Ada-their favorite cat-and-mouse game. Of course, he really has some part of your cosmetics left in his apartment, a favorite mug, maybe something else… oh! a notebook. What a stupid thing, because there was nothing important in this notebook except funny drawings and a list of products. Well, maybe something else in small things. Leon probably threw everything away a long time ago.

Although you would like to return the mug.

The mug that he gave you with an idiotic inscription.

You unlocked your phone and saw some excited messages from your father. After quickly answering them, you clicked on Leon's number. Just one click separated you. You could have texted or called, but you spat and just put the phone back in your pocket. It would be necessary to delete his number.

And he still has your damn expensive perfume. It is not like the one used by Ada Wong - her fragrance is dominated by fresh citrus notes combined with something cold. A grenade? You liked calmer floral scents. Lilac and gooseberry have a good aroma.

And you would have torn it off with your own hands. Because the bottle cost a lot of money, and was in a limited collection. For some reason, now you remember him and it became so insulting that you lost such an expensive thing (even if Kennedy bought it for you again). But it's still a damn stupid reason to look for a meeting with him!

In general, you should have been kicked out of his head too. Leon kept your things close on purpose but didn't touch them. One part of him hoped that you would remember them and come to pick them up, and the other party was afraid that then he would have nothing left. The last memories will be gone. He loved flipping through your notebook, finding funny the drawings you made while you were sitting at boring lectures.

He doesn't care, he knows that you liked this perfume, and he also knows that you can't afford such a luxury right now. It's a shitty act to look for a meeting with you again when all the dots are already set.

Even though he wants to see you, can he really let you go later?

However… he wants to write to you. Fingers are already typing a message when an alert with your number and a short phrase appears in front of the screen: Can I pick up some things?

Holy shit! YES!

Leon answered immediately. The usual "yes" despite the fact that everything inside was screaming. A couple of minutes later, another message came asking when you could do it and he wanted to answer in a sarcastic manner, what exactly is for you at any convenient time.

But the line came out the usual "when you want, then take it." Maybe it was a little rude.

Nothing else followed. Leon had no idea when to expect you. Apartment was in terrible condition. In addition, there was your wilted cactus on the computer table. Cactus. Wilted. Maybe because his hostess collected all the belongings and left forgetting him?

Leon didn't know how to take care of him at all. Just poured half-drunk water into a small flower pot, and that's it. The flower that grew on it has long disappeared, and the cactus itself has turned yellow. He turned the pot over in his hand, looking at it from all sides, wondering if it could be fixed somehow in a short time, but decided that if it really upset you, he would buy exactly the same one.

At least to make it up to you a little.

After about an hour of thinking, there was a quiet knock on the door. Leon, casting a cursory glance once again at the unfortunate cactus, let you into the apartment pretty quickly, but you stood there for a few more seconds as if you were afraid to enter the lion's den, which would certainly bite off your head if he crossed the threshold of the apartment.

"Hey," - Your hand waved nervously in the air as a greeting when you were here again, afraid of being captured by your own memories.

Leon only apologized for the mess (although he managed to clean up some things while you were just standing outside the door for about 30 minutes, gaining strength to knock) and offered you tea, knowing how much you love him. A great opportunity to find out what happened to your favorite mug, but you refused first of all by casting a glance at the withered plant.

"I watered him from time to time." He hesitated, scratching his head with his hand. - "Maybe he needed fertilizer, but I didn't know anything about it, especially since it's a cactus!.. Okay sweetheart, just let me buy you a new one or something.

Your laughter slightly diluted the gloomy atmosphere, and Leon clearly felt better.

"It's all right." - A small pot appeared in your hands with the intention of taking it and then throwing it away. - "To be honest, this guy has been sick for a long time. Eventually, he still fell to the death of the brave."

You smiled wearily, making some kind of hero out of a cactus, and your ex-boyfriend also picked up the cheerful mood, lowering his head as he leaned back against the bar, watching his angel take the last thing he had left from this relationship.

Leon compares this to the fact that you gave him the strongest and most beautiful wings when you agreed to be with him. Something truly pure and bright, which allowed him to fight with bioweapons, only for the sake of you and your kind. And now with relentless cruelty you are tearing these wings along with the spine. As the most severe punishment for a mistake.

You silently gather your things, trying not to let your hands shake as Leon watches your actions, fighting the urge to try to stop you again.

Inside, it feels like a guitar string is breaking or sad chords are playing in the soul. One sentence: All gone. You will be left behind, like another experienced chapter of his life, but the fact that the pages of this chapter were full of sincere joy only makes it worse.

Leon's eyes are on the lookout for anything that might help you change your mind. Turn the pages of the book of life a little back and rewrite the plot, correcting this misunderstanding. Although luck is not on his side again.

How to regain lost trust?

It was hardly possible. He could show you those messages from Ada, try to prove that the powder box has been in the trash for a long time, but would you believe him?

He called you by your name as you put the rest of your cosmetics in your bag, thinking that Leon didn't have anything particularly important from your things left. Of course, you turned around meeting with those eyes in which if you look for a long time you can drown, but now only Leon was choking of the two.

"You said then that I didn't promise you anything. it was true, I didn't really make any promises. No vows that I want a family, children and everything else that normal people have, since my work does not imply their presence." - Leon moved to a safe distance so you wouldn't feel uncomfortable. Unlike you, even when under stress, he was well oriented and adjusted to the situation, because your eyes were already watering. - "I don’t understand at all what you saw in me that you fell in love with so much, but it was not non-reciprocal. Maybe I didn't say much, but I meant it. These gifts, trips, dinners in restaurants..."

"In your words, I became like a gold digger who managed to find a rich fool." - You interrupted him with a loud squelching nose.

"What?... oh no! Fuck... I didn't mean it. I just know I screwed up. I have a whole carload of problems that I didn't want and don't want to involve you in. Ada - is in this carload . You are right, a lot connects me with her and the story is very long, but believe me, this is not at all what I really want. When I was 21, it was damn interesting. I was attracted to her for many years until that outbreak in Lanshiang. I won’t lie, we met not only on missions, but also after them; Ada has repeatedly saved and helped me; I will not lie and say that I have never had sex with her, but! There is a huge difference between the usual attraction to each other and really sincere feelings. And you were never fucking meat to me!" - Leon raised his voice, but not to hurt you. These crystal blue eyes resembling ice, no matter how paradoxical it may sound, could melt the heart of anyone. He was the one who could turn you into a puddle in seconds. - "From the moment you agreed to be with me, I had no relationship with Ada other than working. Even in my thoughts. We have our own style of communication - it's true. Flirting and banter, but when you showed up…I didn't need anything else."

"Nevertheless, you have loved her for more than ten years. It's not an attachment anymore, Leon. It's weird that I have to explain this to you." - There was no longer that stone in your chest that prevented you from speaking. You felt like a kind of abbess who reveals the truth to the boy standing in front of you (who was much older). - "We managed to get into all this dirt like this…"

"Was our relationship dirt for you?" - You looked up at him. You could clearly see the experience, pain and sadness. As if what happened broke him completely. Leon frowned, waiting for your long answer. - "I haven't always been open with you, and yes, you deserve a younger guy. Someone from your college or just a nice man your age. But you really were the best episode in my life, despite the fact that things weren't always smooth between us."

"It's not about me" - The lip gloss that you were restlessly twisting in your hands all this time finally fell out, rolling to Leon's feet, as if it was a sign to finally approach him, but you were afraid of getting burned again.- "Understand me… I want to be loved. For real. I'm not a fool either, although you probably think I am…"

"I never thought that about you. Naive, careless - yes. But you always had enough brains."

"Women like Ada Wong… -" you kept trying to ignore Leon's gaze. - "You can't get them out of your head. A kind of fatal beauty, capable of hitting any man to death. Such women have no rivals, and you do not consider it an insult, but she chose you, which means that you belong to her forever. However, you don't mind, do you? If I were you, I wouldn't be able to resist her either."

"Yes… - Leon smiled very unpleasantly, sitting down on the edge of the bed, throwing you your lip gloss, which you managed to catch and throw into a gym bag. - "Manipulation; constant concealment of information; a rather specific concept of "relationship". We've been lovers for a long time-I won't deny it, besides, it doesn't make sense. But I'm telling you the truth: you've become everything to me. As I could, I showed my love and care. Trust me, sweetheart , when you get into the same shit year after year, not knowing if you'll live to see the next day… well, it's a bit tedious. With Ada BEFORE YOU, I had some stability. The stability of our crazy meetings, yes, I had feelings. Until I realized that all this is fucking nonsense and it's not love at all, but an ordinary attachment to a person I've known for many years. And it was never love."

"More than ten years…" - Leon shook his head when you said those words one by one, slowly, as if savoring each. - "If you wanted to stop everything, you would stop it, but she is really a part of you that you will never let go. She occupies a big place in your heart, and I don't want to sit on the bench at all, so that during your next break you come to me. Don't you think it's unfair to me and my feelings?"

You trembled. The nerves began to give up again and the fingertips began to go numb, covered with a sticky cold sweat. Trying to listen to your own feeling, you only heard the frantic beating of your heart and the blood pounding in your ears. In some ways, it resembled a pre-fainting state. Part of you knew that Leon wouldn't do anything wrong, and the other part was terrified of the conversation going on.

You urgently needed to grab something to distract yourself. But most of the things were already in the bag.

On the other hand, it was hard to tell what Leon was thinking. His eyes focused on one point-you. A mixture of misunderstanding, irritation and bitterness in one bottle. He got the feeling that you were trying to convince him to believe your own lies, because during the time that you were together, Leon never gave a reason to think that there was someone third in his life.

But you felt something that you wanted to tell him against your better judgment for a long time. This is what you started falling asleep with when you first started suspecting him of cheating, despite the fact that it was very stupid.

"I thought my love was enough for you and me. I was ready to forgive you for the first mistake, Leon. I thought I could be irreplaceable for you, but now I realize that I'm not her equal."

"God, can you hear yourself?" - Leon ran his hand through his hair pulling it back, sincerely tired of explaining the same thing to you. As if you really were…blunt.

However, he didn't need to tell you, you yourself understood what he was thinking. And yes, it was stupid to come here again. You're really dumb.

"The conversation reached a dead end." - you continued to collect the rest of the things, once again capitulating to him.

"You're leading him to a dead end!" - Leon jumped up from his seat, shouting loudly at the top of his voice. You recoiled to the side, away from his formidable figure, next to which your own seemed very tiny. Your subconscious was still saying "don't be afraid," but your instincts were afraid of any violence. He could scream, he could hit… Leon never did this, it was the lowest act for him to hit another (unless circumstances require it), and disputes were generally resolved by ordinary conversation. You knew he could raise his voice, but Leon chose to leave before he reached boiling point. - "What else do I have to tell you to make you believe me?"

Your heart sank. But stand still. The commanding tone of the inner voice told you to resist, and apparently the small iron makings of your father's character were passed on to you. As a last resort, you quickly glanced towards the door, holding a bag in your hands, figuring out a plan in case of escape, and Leon noticed your strange behavior. Disappointed once again. In myself or maybe already in you? Do you really think he's such a monster?

"Why the fuck are you shaking so much?" - It wasn't funny anymore. Leon snatched the bag and threw it with all his might into a corner, not caring about the fragile contents. - "One big quarrel and I became the son of a bitch who beat you up or what? I'm not an angel, and with all my adoration, you're not a gift either! But did I hurt you at least once?!

"Yes!" - In a fit of emotion, you screamed, closing the distance with one big step. Leon chuckled. He meant physical pain, not mental pain. - "You hurt me. And it's still hard for me to live with this wound. I screwed up too. You know, I'm not the only loser here! And this is not a quarrel! You're a fucking jerk who still can't figure out his feelings. You didn't promise me shit, and it's my mistake that I came up with a big love for you ! But no one who has a conscience and respect for a partner will keep a compact of an ex-girlfriend and correspond with her in a joking manner. For some reason, my father does not allow himself to do this. No truly loving man will ever allow himself to do this! And instead of at least admitting the obvious, you convince me of something else! Tell me, Leon, if I did this to you, would you want to keep talking? Would you be able to trust me? "

"This shit has been lying there for a fucking cloud of time. I've already forgotten about her!"

Now both of you have switched to raised tones. You weren't scared anymore. The anger inside you was growing, erasing absolutely all the feelings that had been blunted before. Now you wanted to be fucking rude to him again, and that's probably what he liked about you. Leon even suspected that you would flare up like a match and be able to hit him.

"Forgot about the messages too?!"

"Fuck..." - It was unbearable to fight with you. Like a stubborn sheep who believed a stupid fool - his damn friend Carey. Leon pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened a message chat with Ada. There was no government information there, so he turned the screen to your face so that you could see what was written months earlier. But you didn't even look. Until Leon grabbed your wrist and put the smartphone in your hand. - "Look, read it since you're so sure that I still love Ada. It already seems to me that you are crazy about her".

Stubbornness was not always the best trait of your character, so you pressed the button on the side of the screen and just put the phone on the bedside table, making it clear that you would not stoop to such baseness to dig into other people's things. You also had a sense of your own worthiness.

"What happened?" - Leon croaked, taking a step forward. - "You wanted proof-I gave it to you."

"I don't want anything anymore Leon"

Only one thought was spinning in your head like a gear, "In vain. You shouldn't have come! Nobody got better from the fact that you disturbed this wound by reopening it." And yet you lied to yourself first of all. Leon's anger is caused by your disbelief, but even in a fit of the most terrible rage, he never did anything to you. Although you definitely felt uncomfortable from the tense atmosphere that had developed, where almost sparks were flying around the room, you still kept well with your arms crossed on your chest.

You needed Leon. You still wanted to love him and hugging a pillow at night you imagined that you were hugging him. But agreeing to be a fallback is also not in your style. There will still be a drop of pride for this.

So you just went to your bag, trying to pick it up to pick up the last belongings and leave, but Leon grabs your wrist. No pain. A firm grip is like a call to stop and give him a few more tries before he lets you go forever.

And you freeze, yielding to your instincts that purr sweetly from the slightest intimacy with this man. I wonder if Leon feels your pulse beating wildly? He lets go of your hand, biting his lower lip, and God, how you want to reach out to him to remember again what it's like to be his lover…

"So you came here just to break my heart again?" - his palms rested on your face, forcing you to look at him. For a second you suffocated drowning in the fragrance of his body and losing your mind looking into those eyes again. It's like they were pulling the soul out of you. - "Which of us is hurting the other more? First you reject me by running away for two months, then you pack up and say you never want to see me, but now you're coming back again… Of the two of us, who is the greater sadist?"

Your cheek pressed against his palm. A wave of heat spread throughout your body in small electrical discharges, as if you had taken a heavy intoxicating drug that turned you into clay in his hands. Leon pressed his forehead against yours, closing his eyes so that you could listen to the steady breathing and you were so waiting for the last kiss. At least a light touch of his lips…

Maybe in fact the main villain of this story was not Leon at all, but you yourself?

"I do not know," - somehow you whispered barely audible. Despite your closeness, you weren't sure Leon heard. -" I'm completely confused"

His bangs fell over your eyes, which made you smile a little.

"Do you want to leave?" - A question that made the body shudder with fright. As if you didn't want him to ask it to you, because an inner voice kept saying "no" and common sense began to doubt the correctness of the decisions made earlier. - "I don't want to let you go, but I can't forcibly hold you either. I really love you no matter what you think of yourself there, and it doesn't matter whether you believe me or not."

"I want to believe you but" - the voice trembled like a string. You lowered your gaze, trying to blink away the hateful tears despite the fact that Leon continued to hold your face.

"What?"

"I'm afraid." - you finally confessed, feeling a huge crack in your heart. Leon pressed you to his chest and you were grateful to him at that second because you no longer had the strength to control your emotions. - "I'm just afraid"

"My love? Or what?"

You didn't know what you were afraid of anymore. Leon pressed his cheek to the top of your head, holding the back of your head. Both of you didn't even notice how it started raining outside, creating an atmosphere of silence and loneliness. All that the soul craved was to stay standing like that for longer or even for an eternity. You feel his other hand on your waist, but you don't have the resolve to hug him back.

"It's not even about Ada, right?" - you didn't say anything. - "Do you really distrust me so much that you are ready to believe anyone but me?"

"You smelled of her perfume; you kept her things and never trusted me. I've always been away from you."

"Believe me angel, the shit that I constantly see haunts me almost every night and this is not what I want for you at all. Even if you begged me, I would never tell you about it. And about the rest…I have no idea what you smelled there."

Leon's words sounded like a final chord. No more excuses. Your body reflexively pressed against him, feeling the lost warmth of your native closeness, which caused the corners of Leon's lips to slightly rise up.

And in the end, you succumbed to the temptation of clasping his back with your trembling hands, covering your eyes from the fatigue of what is happening.

His lips touched your hair, and the noisy intake of breath that followed made him plunge into memories. It seemed like everything was covered in a misty haze, and your scent could make him lose his mind, even if it was for brief moments. The anxiety of a quick farewell enveloped the body, but there was something else… something that excites the mind regardless of temperature. A strange and at the same time precious emotion that has returned comfort to you two, affectionate behavior to each other, warmth of soul. This is something from the depths of the heart.

If Ada was a candle all this time, whose light illuminated a narrow space, then you were like the sun, whose warmth and beauty he missed so much. Leon realized that he was looking at a dazzling man with a huge sun inside, which dispelled all the darkness that had hung over him since the days of Raccoon City.

He knew he had no right to do that, and you could have pushed him away, but Leon wanted to feel your light one last time. Tearing you away from his shoulder so that the next moment he could press his lips to yours, memorizing your sweet taste. Like a rare nectar that can only be tasted once. A crushing kiss filled with belated remorse.

"Let this be my parting gift"

You're not annoyed or even angry. Whatever happens, you will always love him more than you should. So much time spent in vain to burn bittersweet feelings out of a stupid heart and stop following stupid emotions. Everything was absolutely in vain.

You pursed your lips when Leon started pulling away from you. As an avalanche hit a lonely wanderer, so you were dying at this second. leon believed that his love was hurting you and he is ready to step back so that you can heal, but the fact is that now you are at a crossroads again, not knowing the right way.

So maybe we should turn back?

You don't have an umbrella, just a thin jacket, and it's still raining mercilessly outside, as if someone is mourning the heavens. Drops trickle down the glass, and you wipe away your own tears, trying to listen to the footsteps behind you, but they are not there. A gigantic heaviness rolled over.

"It's stupid," you sobbed when you heard his voice, the one that cut you from the inside like a knife blade, forcing you to clench your teeth. - "I will never look for a meeting with you again, but still…stay with me."

"I..I can not…don't know" - Leon hugged you from behind again. Your voice was lost in hoarse sobs and if it weren't for his strong hands, your knees would hit the floor. It was as if the scenario of that day was repeating itself. - "I don't want to leave. I love you so much..."

You covered your mouth with your hand, unable to hold back your sobs any longer. It's just that emotions poured out in a flurry, turning you into a crying mess. However, the grip on your thin shoulders tightened when Leon turned you around to face him, holding you in a vice.

And your hand felt so good on his neck… Leon smiled as if he didn't want to know anything else in the world, starting to cover your tearful face with smudged kisses lingering on your lips and when you started answering all the barriers finally collapsed.

"So you'll stay." - no question. - "No more tears. No jealousy. You're here with me."

"Lee..on…" - with difficulty pronouncing his name, he burst into your mouth with a new kiss that stopped your breath. His tongue easily slid into your mouth intertwining with yours and you knew where to put yourself, allowing his hands to wander over your body.

"Either you leave now and never come back, or we send everything to hell and forget all the shit that happened to us. Choose now."

You were hanging around his neck, and to be honest, this really was your last chance to escape. It was only necessary to make a movement to the side, to pull away from him, but you stood still. One minute. Two… maybe the last two minutes of your sane thoughts.

You stayed, continuing to look into those sky-blue eyes, pressing your forehead against his, without interrupting eye contact. The person standing in front of you was irreplaceable, and now you would rather part with your life than agree to part with him.

Leon stroked your cheek with a funny peck on the lips, causing a sincere smile.

"Never dare to doubt me. Don't ever leave again. You and I will go somewhere far, far away from here. Let's drop everything and go to some house on the shore of the lake, where we will enjoy the tranquility and each other." - another kiss on the swollen nose. You just nodded, clinging to his T-shirt.

You've always been more of a vanilla girl, but Leon decided that rudeness would be superfluous. Not now and not tonight. He pulled off your clothes along with your underwear, throwing you on the soft bed that you already shared with him once and all you could think about was how he proved his love for you, holding you motionless in his arms, licking wet tracks from his cheeks. You didn't have the strength to fight him trying to take the initiative, the only thing you were thinking about was deep slow thrusts knocking moans out of your mouth. Leon was hugging you to him with great greed and a bit of fear, as if you could run away from him now. That's why he whispered soothing words and praise in your ear all the while tucking your hair back.

"I love you. You have no right to think otherwise. You're just my pretty girl, look at me, beautiful" - Leon threw you on the pillow, forcing you to open your eyes. Panting, you obeyed, wrapping your legs around his torso, pressing even closer to him, while Leon found your hand, twining your fingers together. - "I need you. You're my favorite girl, I love you so much. More than anything in the world, I value you, don't you dare leave me anymore, angel."

His smooth movements were maddening. Leaning over to you, he caught your lips pulling into a gentle kiss, but you immediately interrupted him leaning against his cheek like a petting cat, losing his head and blushing from vulgar pops and squelching sounds due to the abundance of lubricant.

"Don't leave me," - you freed your hands trying to straddle him, but Leon crossed your sad attempt pressing only harder to the mattress. - "I'm not leaving anymore, I swear. I'm so sorry… I've never wanted anyone more than you. Only you…my love…"

He was so gentle with you. There could be bruises from your closeness in some places, but you felt as good as ever in all the past months of separation. A loud moan escaped his lips when he plunged into you too deeply. His seed soiled your belly when he cum snuggling up to you.

You don't remember exactly when your sanity returned to you, but you definitely felt it when Leon, after the second round and long hugs with compliments, took you to the shower where he carefully washed off the traces of your intimacy with him, gently kissing and sucking every bruise left from his fingers, promising that he would take care of it in the morning.

You ran your fingers over his wet bangs, brushing it away from his eyes, which Leon used when he picked you up under the hips after taking a hot shower to take you back to his bed and let you rest.

Actually, the bed linen should have been changed too, but you two didn't care at all. Leon pulled you closer to him, laying you on his chest, hugging you with both hands, stopping any attempts to escape, but you were no longer planning to run anywhere. He fell asleep pretty quickly, and you lay motionless next to him for another hour, tormented by a feeling of hunger and thinking how you could get to the refrigerator without disturbing a light sleep. His shirt was left lying on the floor and with an awkward movement, as if deceiving a sleeping man with the desire to turn over, you carefully free yourself from the ring of embraces by getting out of bed. You take a cursory glance at Leon, making sure that he is still asleep and throw it on hastily without even buttoning his shirt, leaving the bedroom with light steps with the obvious intention of robbing his refrigerator.

Slowly and on tiptoe… wanting to have a snack at least with a sandwich, you realize when you open the door that a mouse has hanged itself in the refrigerator. Nothing particularly edible, and what Leon ate all this time, also remains a mystery.

Although it seems the cheese seemed quite usable. It's not too satisfying after a particularly sinful night, but you can last until morning. You already want to close the door when suddenly you realize with a sixth sense that someone is standing behind you, forcing you to freeze in place with a slice of cheese in your teeth.

But Leon just stroked your thighs laughing at the silent scene.

"I'm hungry" - That's the whole excuse. - "I'm sorry, but I won't fall asleep if I don't eat something…"

"I told you not to leave me anywhere." - It sounded harsh, but with obvious notes of playfulness, especially since Leon was clearly staring at your breasts. - "You could have asked me instead of running away again. God, stop eating that cheese. I don't want you to get poisoned!"

"Then feed me something or I'll starve to death. I definitely won't be able to return from the other world."

Leon took the fucking cheese out of your hands after enjoying this sweet conversation between two lovers and one hungry heart and threw you over his shoulder carrying you back to the bedroom, putting you back in his bed.

"And now you're lying or sitting in bed like the obedient girl you are while I bring us something to eat. If you are not in this place, blame yourself. You've already rubbed my nerves and yours enough, angel." - You nodded, still feeling the residual stress from the hysteria you experienced, but you were still smiling sweetly, hanging one leg over the edge of the bed, teasing Leon a little, who was getting dressed all this time. He noticed your stupid game and took a leather jacket from the closet on the way out of the bedroom tickled your heel, forcing you to hide it back under the blanket.

"You're staying here. So that when I come back, and it will be very soon, I will find you in this very place." - Notes of sadness and fatigue were still hovering in his eyes, so you didn't argue, but just agreed.

"I'll be here. It's raining outside anyway and I don't have an umbrella with me."

Leon flicked you on the nose, clearly not appreciating the joke. He didn't even ask what you wanted, even though he already knew about your taste preferences. Therefore, as soon as the door slammed shut, you quickly reached for your mobile phone, answering missed calls from your parents, explaining to them that you just dozed off and didn't hear the mobile. In general, you have found something to do by digging into your phone, checking messages and flipping through the news feed in the social network, thinking only about Leon and the food that he should bring soon.

It all still seemed unreal. You looked at the corner where your abandoned bag was left lying around, as if confirming reality. It's unlikely to be possible to pretend that nothing happened and Leon really looked too tired, but right now you didn't want to think about anything else except his return. Perhaps you have already suffered enough and you really should go on vacation together somewhere away from the hustle and bustle of the world? Leon will probably want to talk about this topic again with a fresher head when he calms down a little.

In the end, finding you sleeping in his bed was a really beautiful reality that he was afraid he had already lost. In his shirt, with pretty bare thighs, sleeping lightly on his pillow. Leon put the bag of food on the table, taking off his jacket just to hug you, proving to himself once again that this is really not a dream.

You really stayed with him and he won't let you leave anymore.

[ymilksh]

➫ A SCHOLAR'S LOVE (2)

♡theme/warnings: cyno/reader, fluff, slight jealousy

♡summary: cyno is terribly smitten by you. absolutely head over heels. thinks everything about you is great- but has no confidence to actually say it to you. you've picked up on his antics and so has your friend group... so will he stay love-sick, or tell you the truth?

"kaveh, those balloons don't go there." you stated, pointing to a bunch of coloured balloons stuck behind your couch. "i know you're into interior design, but..." you put a finger to your chin, squinting your eye at his choice of decoration. "it really looks like a clown threw up behind our couch."

kaveh raises a brow at you, setting down the last group of balloons with a weight attached to their strings. "oh really now? since when did you spend years researching the ideal grouping of indoor decorations, miss decorator?"

"since it was my birthday, mister."

kaveh groans, moving the balloons back to their original position. "thank you, kaveh~" you sing, walking into the kitchen of your small dwelling. as students of the akademiya, you were given homes to share with each other for the duration of your schooling. you and kaveh shared a house along with al haitham, and cyno and tighnari shared a house with one of their acquaintances.

earlier that day, kaveh had helped you prepare some desserts and appetizers for your birthday party. it was lucky your birthday came on a saturday, leaving you some much needed space from your studies and some time to relax on your special day. some friends and family would be over to celebrate soon, and the after-party would consist of you and your buddies having a sleepover.

everything was perfect, until you realized after looking at what kaveh had made for you; you didn't have a birthday cake.

"kaveh? y-you never made a cake, did you?" you shouted from the kitchen, a little panicked at this discovery.

kaveh walked into the kitchen, analyzing the food on the counter. "shoot. i- sorry, y/n. i must have forgotten… the grand bazaar might have a few stalls with some ingredients- but al haitham said most of them were shut down for a performance." kaveh explained with a hint of regret. he had previously made a list of things to make for the day ahead- yet threw it out thinking he could rely on his memory to finish everything.

"this is because of you getting cocky again, isn't it? listen, i told you to stop being so competitive with al haitham! you can clearly plan a party better than him, i know that, there's no need to prove that to me." you scolded him, putting away the other food you inspected.

"really, y/n, it's nothing like that! i honestly forgot about that stone-faced al haitham today, he's been out all day since the morning doing who-knows-what. i just impulsively threw away the list of food i was supposed to make." he shook his head with his palm on his forehead, disappointed with himself.

"okay, kaveh. i forgive you. we'll just...have to go without one. i'm sure i can whip up some small tart or find a pie stall-"

a knock on the front door cuts your sentence short, some muttering outside catching your attention. kaveh stays in the kitchen, panicking at the leftover mess he forgot to clean up as well.

opening the door, your eyes light up when you see cyno next to tighnari, cyno's hands full with presents and an oddly large square box. "cyno, tighnari! you're here early! come on in." you smile, opening the door fully. cyno says hello and blushes after walking in, tighnari throwing you a wink as a greeting.

having your friends’ company was just the type of pick-me-up you needed after hearing your party wouldn’t be having a birthday cake. it was an integral part of the celebration, after all! kaveh definitely owed you one. after getting everyone situated in the living room, you helped cyno place the presents onto the coffee table.

“oh, ah, y/n. that one-“ he points to the large box, “it needs to be refrigerated.” tighnari quirks a brow at him, wondering what the box’s contents are. “sorry if it’s any trouble, i know it’s quite large.” he deadpans, making you chuckle.

“no, not at all. here, come bring it to the kitchen, we can put it in the fridge. just what is it, exactly?” you inquire, your brain brimming with curiosity. maybe a fruit platter? no… he would have let that stay in plain sight. a new type of mechanical device? nah, he knows you better than that.

“it’s…nothing too special, i’ll let you know when you can look inside.” cyno sounds unsure as he tells you, following you to the kitchen.

kaveh greets him immediately, jumping at your entrance. “ah, cyno’s here! and i’m guessing tighnari tagged along with you?” kaveh nervously asks, tucking his dirty cloth behind him. you roll your eyes, snatching the cloth from him and tossing it into the sink.

“don’t mind him, cy-cy. he’s just embarrassed he managed to make this much of a mess yet didn’t bake me a birthday cake like i asked.” you informed him, throwing a light fist bump to kaveh’s shoulder.

cyno’s eyes lit up at your nickname for him- did he hear you correctly? cy-cy? he could feel his heart begin to swell with joy, a small cough erupting from him out of shock.

“ah- cyno, are you feeling okay? that cough sounded a little dry. anything you wanna drink?” he shook his head, refusing the offer. “okay. just let me know.” you smiled, placing a hand on his shoulder. he shuddered at the action; when did you get so friendly towards him? were you always so attentive like this… ?

at this moment, cyno realized tighnari was right. his worries had definitely caused some clouded judgement.

at around 4:30pm, al haitham returned home with a bouquet of flowers and a couple bottles of wine to mark the occasion. closing the door behind him, he met with you all in the living room and set down his items on the coffee table, discussing everyone’s day so far.

after talking for some time, it was now around 5pm; the sun painting the sky a beautiful shade of blue with streaks of orange dawning the horizon. everyone gave their greetings to you, wishing you a happy birthday and all the best ahead. you beamed at the energy in the room, it was overwhelmingly positive.

cyno however, was lost in thought, imagining a million different ways this evening could go. would you enjoy your gifts? was what he prepared… too bold? tighnari had told him to make a passionate and sincere gift for you; explaining that when you don’t have the words, sometimes a handmade gift can communicate a message a lot easier. of course he would still have to clarify what his intentions were, but tighnari was sure you would love whatever cyno made. even if it wasn’t the prettiest.

still, the dark haired student had no idea what cyno ended up doing for you. he was just as confused as you when you saw the box, almost second-guessing his advice when he saw how large it was. but remembering how carefully cyno treated his interactions with you; in his heart, he had faith in his friend to make the right decision- to really put his heart into this gift. whatever it may be, tighnari trusted cyno’s judgement.

eventually, people started to filter in and out of the party, parents and grandparents parting a little earlier due to their older age. some presents were opened and others were left to be opened later, as you had gotten pretty tired from all the dancing you did and all the food you consumed. despite kaveh’s oversight of the cake, you would say your party went just as planned!

after all the excitement died down and the sun had finally set for the night, al haitham noticed you had fallen asleep on the couch, laying a blanket over your body. it was just the five of you once more; everyone taking a separate position in the house. cyno was sitting on the other sofa opposite you, head buried in a book al haitham had left on the side table. al haitham was checking to see if you had drank too much- kaveh was cleaning up the decorations strewn across the living room, and tighnari was packaging the leftover food.

as he put some containers of food away, tighnari noticed the box cyno had brought sitting in the middle of the fridge, a pang of guilt hitting his stomach as he forgot to remind cyno to take it out. “ah, dear me. he’s probably got his legs between his tail over this being left behind.” tighnari sat the leftovers down, grabbed the box and brung it to the living room.

“cyno, i think there’s something you forgot to give to miss y/n.” he smiles, setting the box down to poke you awake. you stir in your sleep, making a cute whimper sound that cyno can’t help but squeeze his eyes shut at. you were just… way too cute. it felt out of character for him to be so affected by your actions… but he nonetheless welcomed this warm feeling inside of him whenever he looked at you.

“hwaaa~ hey eweone, whad did i miss?” you yawned, your distorted voice causing kaveh to laugh at you. “don’t laugh, your words are barely comprehendable when you’re awake!” you retort, half smiling at him.

“well, cyno still hasn’t given you your present, you know.” al haitham explains, curious as to what this will lead to. his friends had clearly been planning something behind his back… and it seems behind yours and kaveh’s as well.

“ah, that box! well, come sit everyone. i’ll open it right now.” you smiled, tearing into the wrapping paper. cyno watched with anxiety, nervous about your reaction. tighnari just smiled at him, a silent plea for him to calm his nerves. you can do it, cyno. trust yourself with this.

“wow- oh my goodness, c-cyno, did you really make this…for me?” inside the box was a decorated cake with two layers, the words ‘happy birthday y/n’ written in cursive draped along the top. adorning the rest of the cake were stick figures made of pretzels and frosting, flowers and animals beside them representing you and your friends. “it’s so lovely, when did you have the time to make this?”

cyno’s face was now fully tinted with red, watching you examine each of his dressed pretzel figures with such precision and care as if they were real. “i took the time to study the preparations of a birthday cake a few days before the party. i wanted to make you a gift… that sent a message to you, one that symbolized your importance to me. to us.” he explained, holding your hand as you listened to him, teary-eyed.

“but that isn’t the only part of my gift. i wanted to take you somewhere to show you something. is…that alright?” he asked. tighnari was ecstatic at cyno’s response to his advice- he even planned something extra? it was quite the coincidence that he could make your dreams of having a birthday cake come true- but this was just the icing on top.

“yes, of course. do you guys mind at all? i’m sure it won’t take long.” you asked your friends, hearing no objections. al haitham smirked at the situation before him, of course it was like this, how could he have missed it? kaveh was thinking the same, both of them shooting a glance at each other.

“okay, we’ll be off then. i promise it won’t be long.” cyno smiled, nervously taking your hand in his to guide you outside. there was a small patch of land near the neighbourhood you lived in, clear enough to see the skies and all the stars that wandered across it. he laid next to you on the grass, turning to face you.

“y/n, i have something to tell you that i’ve been thinking of for a while.” he takes a deep breath, reciting his thoughts in his head. “the only reason i chose to say this today was because of tighnari- well, you know how he is. when he sees a flower beginning to bloom, he can’t keep his mouth shut about it.” he chuckled, looking off to the side.

you stared at him dreamily, wondering what his next words would be. the fact you were alone together enjoying the starry sky surely was a gift in itself, but was the flower… meant to represent you two?

“and, my pretty padisarah, you are who i’ve been wanting in my g-garden.” he stutters, making you giggle.

“oh archons, tighnari definitely said that to you as an example of what to say, didn’t he?” you continued to giggle, your contagious laughter spreading to him as well. resting the back of your hand against cyno’s cheek, you tucked a strand of his pearl coloured hair behind his ear, leaning a little closer to him.

“i want you in my garden, too, cyno.”

smiling, he leans further in as well, unsure about his next move until you press your lips to his. the kiss you share is sweet and pure, eliciting sparks in your chests at having your feelings reciprocated.

as you pull away, cyno lies flat on his back, and you copy him. “i’m relieved you feel the same, y/n. i’m sorry if i offended you with my staring lately, i couldn’t figure out how to tell you i liked you.”

you sigh happily, wrapping your arm around cyno’s waist. “oh, don’t worry, part of me felt it was something like this… i just wanted to see if it was really true. truth be told, i wouldn’t have known how to go about it either. i’m glad our friend did the heavy lifting, hehe.”

“yeah, me too.” cyno agrees, staring up at the sky with you. two constellations have become visible now, intertwined with each other as they float across the atmosphere.

[hellkitepriest]

sent @pliablehead an ask yesterday asking her to devise her ideal ee/duncles co-headline gig Experience (because its the end of august and we all need some frivolous wishful thinking) and now she wants ME to do it soooooo

my first and stupidest thought for a venue was the currently-empty pyramid on the outskirts of stockport (can you imagine. serving cult.) but honestly any "jeremy pritchard Patron Saint Of Dogshit Venues ass venue" as you put it is ideal. something where theres no actual barrier so you can stand right up against the stage. also to get tickets to this you have to have watched dave sardine at least five times im sorry "lads who know distant past from fifa" this one aint for you

goes without saying that all my friends from online and irl are there right at the front with me being annoying. god bless. /\

dutch uncles have to open with jetson again and then play just. all the bangers but ALSO accelerate and damascenes. "the duncan puppet is there and it’s probably jon doing it" really got me because yeah it WOULD be. robins hair is pink again. duncan is dancing like the fucking enter the mirror puppets as ever. they play bellio and i get directly called out about it.

ideally ee's set has a bunch of man alive stuff in there. they have to play qwerty they have to play my kz... they play photoshop handsome and jon does the "more dollar less scholar less time" actions from the 2009 mv. they're wearing the gth stuff again (they have to be you're right but also alex is wearing glasses please). the combined force of us all right in the front row yelling THE FRAGMENTS during s/s/w/d wakes alex robertshaw from his 38 year long slumber. they play software greatman (yes alex has his modular from the rdf tour again in this world I MISS HER) and then walk off and come back and do violent sun and no reptiles as an encore and we're all normal and unaffected about it. and then yes we all go to the pub afterwards because jonathan higgs and i need to drink black cherry white claws

also at some point everyone comes out and they cover fascination by alphabeat and it is absolutely a too-many-cooks situation with [checks notes] eleven people on stage but it's fine it's fun it's fresh

[etoilesombre]

Anybody ever think about how fucking weird this exchange is?

Flint: Oh, matter of ship business. I've noticed the berths for the vanguard are less than ideal. I'd like to have them set in here. Give the men a little more space to breathe. Dufresne: You want the vanguard to quarter in the captain's cabin? Flint: I'm not a tyrant, Mr. Dufresne. The ship belongs to all of us. This seems a way to ensure that we all benefit from it equally. Dufresne: It also seems a way to ensure that the next time someone raises a pistol towards you, well, the vanguard has a rooting interest.

ok so FIRST this does not make sense just on the face of it. Half their crew is dead, and they just moved to a MUCH bigger ship. There are other cabins around you know. But Black Sails doesn't care about things like that, it's fine, moving right along.

This man was JUST almost deposed as captain. When he was reinstated barely more than half of the crew voted for him. Sleeping in a room with a bunch of people who wanted to hang you three days ago seems... like a poor choice. Is he completely 100% sure nobody on the vanguard would have opposed him? Then why would he need to win their favor? Is he just not going to sleep? Does he think he's so intimidating no one would even try?? Because you're setting up the ideal situation for letting somebody get away with it. I get that they basically just needed a logistical excuse to have those last couple lines spoken, but I've been doing confused dog head tilt about this for like two years.

[thecrownestt]

Here's my situation.

I have a bunch of credits for an online store that I can use to get $200-300ish in grocery store/doordash/restaurant gift cards with. The exact amount is hard to figure out due to the layout of the website but it's in that range. Maybeee more?

If I don't use them by the end of the year, I lose the value. That would be a waste. I would love to gift it to someone, but I'm afraid of asking someone for their address because that isn't cool.

Ideally, I think I can say "give me a store in your area and I can set up a pickup order, not delivery"?? That seems safest.

I just don't know who is down for that. Ideally it's a deathfeedee that I trust is going to appreciate it the most. I'm a deathfeeder so I want to support my people. But I don't want to be poking around asking for personal info.

There's a lot of restaurants I can choose from too. So I think there's more bang for the buck if, say, I convert the credits into Olive Garden instead of Doordash because of the fees.

I've been thinking about this for a month, idk what to do lmao

[cartoonsbyandie]

So let's put you in charge of a throwaway case. How would you make the perp an ideal foil to Kogoro?

My immediate thought was cop/former cop culprit, or culprit that murders their ex for the sake of being able to move on, until I remembered that both of those were already done within the same case. (Albeit with weird timing considering that case came before Eri was introduced.)

I think one interesting way to go would be a guy who commits a murder on accident while drunk. Conan episodes tend to have the culprits be mega-geniuses that planned everything super far in advance, or are supernaturally able to come up with complex ways to cover it on the spot. There's the odd case Conan is bothered by the culprit's sloppy work and literally suggests ways they could've done it better, but I like the thought of really running with that.

Let's go really on-the-nose: Two guys pool their money together on a bunch of horse-racing tickets, and one of them comes up a big winner. The agreement was to split the profits, but since it was all only under one guy's name, he reneges on that and says he's going to take all the money. They're both wasted and have a drunken fight outside the bar, resulting in one guy pushing the other, him tripping on a bottle, and bludgeoning himself on a dumpster. Culprit takes the ticket from his pocket and goes home.

Culprit only realizes what happened the morning after when the murder is reported on the news, probably a bit in denial about it. Blah-blah-blah investigation stuff, Conan and Kogoro teaming up, there were multiple people that hated the victim, a bunch of them also have winning horse racing tickets maybe. Conan is fixated on which ticket was the one stolen from the victim, Kogoro is fixated on the emotional element of what people do when they're drunk and what he would do.

Kogoro ends up confronting the culprit alone as he's burning the horse-racing ticket (there's no hope of cashing it and planting it on one of the other suspects would just ruin their lives) and is debating on jumping off a building. Kogoro stops him and convinces him to turn himself in. He gets to have empathy for the victim, that he acted how Kogoro would have if he found himself in this situation, and convince him that he still has something to live for. He needs to atone for his crime, but not like this-- there's enough death in this town, and people would miss him. Maybe Conan even shows up with the guy's friends from the bar to show up and help convince him. Kogoro gets to be the person he wishes he had after he drove Eri away and ruined his life. (Not a perfect comparison since murder is far worse than that, but y'know, if that guy has a path to redemption then maybe Kogoro does too.)

End-credits scene where Kogoro is drunk and cheering on a horse race of course because this is DetCo and no one can learn anything. Except then Conan notices he's drinking non-alcoholic beer, but still acting like he's wasted, and just has so many questions.

Disclaimer: Decent odds this set-up has been one before, I haven't seen every Conan filler episode.

[damagedintellect]

Trafalgar Law x reader

💌 Fake it till you make it: Chapter 12  💌  

Summary:  To avoid an arranged marriage set up by Doflamingo, Law needs to bring home a girlfriend during the Christmas break and you just so happen to be a theatre major in the same dorm at One Piece University. What could possibly go wrong?  

Tropes: College AU, Fake Dating, Idiots in love

💌 Word count: 4,487 💌 <= Previous Chapter | Next Chapter =>

Sanji took a long drag of his cigarette as he approached the manor. He didn’t want to be here. When he left the first time he promised himself that he would never come back and true to his word he hasn’t. Until today, it was the only way to get in contact with his “family” and even though Pudding personally handed him his invitation he wanted to do this for the rest of his nakama. It was the safest way to get everyone on the guestlist without raising suspicion. Even if only his sister agrees it would be better than nothing, otherwise he would be solely responsible for Luffy and he didn’t want that to be on him. Heaven knows what kind of a plan he has in his head, or lack thereof, especially since the only thing that he’s been repeating like a mantra is “I’m going to kick Mingo’s ass” and that wasn’t going to go over well with the media. The gates opened for Sanji’s arrival and he crossed his fingers that this would be an easy twenty minutes tops, in and out adventure. Ideally he’d like to finish convincing his siblings before his father caught word of his presence at the estate. Although just in case he prepared a back up plan, but he really didn’t want to use it.

As he passed through the courtyard he could already hear his siblings' colorful banter. They were always so lively. Taking another drag he then delicately extinguished the end before pocketing the rest. He observed from a far for a moment seeing if he could spot his sister around. Reiju’s company was always decent but she was always off doing who knows what. Luckily she seemed to be enjoying a book on the sidelines of whatever sport his brothers were partaking in. He slipped past his brothers easily as they seemed too involved with keeping the soccer ball in the air to notice him. Once he was right beside his sister she put the book down.

“You’re looking well Sanji. I’m surprised to see you here.” Reiju got a good look at him. She hadn’t seen him in over a decade. Sanji shifted where he stood “I wanted to ask a favor concerning the wedding coming up.”

Reiju smiled “Interesting, I assume you were accidentally invited then? You could have just let it be. I don’t think anyone would have even noticed-"

Sanji politely cut her off "No, I want to go. I was going to ask if you were already using your plus one." His sister's eyes widened at this. She would have thought for sure that he wouldn’t want to represent the Vinsmoke name in public. This was enough to grasp the attention of his brothers.

Yonji was the first to comment, whistling for emphasis “Wow, looks like the runt finally shot up.” The other sauntered up as he tried to compare his height. Despite Yonji being the youngest he was always the most competitive out of the bunch. Sanji only rolled his eyes waiting for Reiju to answer before he had to entertain his other siblings but it was kind of too late for that as the other two made their way over. Great.

“I thought you weren’t going to show your face around here again?” Niji voiced while still juggling the ball with his foot. Ichiji remained uninterested but since Sanji’s presence stopped their game. He figured he would at least see why his younger brother decided to turn up out of the blue. Sanji huffed, pulling out the cigarette again. He really thought he could make it a few minutes talking to his sister before he felt the need for the cancer stick but his brothers had that kind of effect on him. If he’s learned anything from his upbringing, asserting dominance was the only way to get through to them. Instead of explaining the situation he made his demands, “For the wedding I want everyone’s plus one invite.”

Ichiji’s face stayed uninterested but decided to ask anyways “What’s in it for us?” Sanji took a long drag feeling a little sick when adding “I have two lovely ladies that won’t be able to accompany me.” He left it at that for now, the blonde already felt gross using Nami and Robin as bargaining chips he would apologize to them afterwards. He knows they both could hold their own but the objectification of his friends doesn’t sit right with him but he couldn’t think of another way to get them on board.

Reiju smirked, slowly trying to piece together what Sanji was thinking by coming here and asking such a request. “You could have mine, it would be interesting to meet some of Sanji’s friends. I wonder what they’re like.” Seeing Reiju take the offer made Ichiji raise an eyebrow. Ichiji wasn’t going to bring anyone with him anyways so he didn’t really care one way or the other. It was rare for Sanji to exude such confidence. Ichiji decides it would be more entertaining if he let whatever the blonde had in mind happen. He turns to walk away before spouting “Do what you want.” giving a half wave before making his way into the manor. Upon hearing that Niji considers it “Hrm, I guess it depends if she’s well read. I have to keep in mind the media’s presence.”

Yonji looked shocked but also chipped in “You guys can have the boring bookworms I want the hottie! You’re still friends with the redhead right?”

Sanji grimaces remembering that Yonji actually met Nami once. “Yes, I’m still friends with Nami and Robin enjoys history and classic literature.” Sanji stated very flatly, maybe he should have gone with plan B instead. The only reason he didn’t was because he didn’t want to speak with his father. The two boys seemed satisfied with those answers and went right back to their game, leaving Reiju to motion for Sanji to sit.

“So what’s this all about. It must be important if you came all the way to the lion's den. This is more than just wanting your friends to attend the event isn’t it?”

Sanji took one last drag of his cigarette before stomping it out on the pavement and putting the trash on the table beside them. “Am I still that easy to read?”

She hummed mulling it over “More like big sister intuition. There’s not many reasons you would confront your past like this, not after what happened.” Sanji rubbed his hands together “It started out being for (Y/N)-chan but spending so much time with Pudding-chan and getting to know the real Pudding it just doesn’t sit right with me.” He clenched his fist “She should be able to have a choice in the matter, to marry for love rather than status.” Growing up under the Vinsmoke name he remembers not having a choice especially growing up being forced to be a child actor. It only got worse when his mother passed and his father started blatantly ignoring child labor laws. Unlike Sanji who made the choice to leave, Pudding felt threatened to stay.

“Reminds me so much of mom.” Reiju pointed out. “Hopelessly romantic, but that’s just like you. Never change that” She looked up, giving Sanji a wary expression. He didn’t have to turn around to know what that meant.

“I’d like to speak with you in private.”

It was the order Sanji was trying to avoid but he knows that if he were to ignore the impatient man it would be worse. He stood up and followed the man to his office in silence. Giving his sister a reassuring smile before disappearing into the estate. On their way the cook couldn’t help but notice the familiar dents in the wall. Battle scars from a different time when his brothers would push him around for not cooperating on set or refusing to show up for shoots wasting everyone else’s time. He knows now how immature that was but he didn’t know any better. He didn’t exactly have the greatest role models.

Standing outside the office after the fact was strange. Waiting for his father to round his desk was even weirder and the silence that followed was stifling. The elder didn’t sit. He stood facing an old family portrait that has since been covered in one corner where Sanji’s mother once was.

“Ichiji tells me you’re going to attend the wedding, after years of refusing the Vinsmoke name?” Judge doesn’t turn around, just waits for an answer or maybe an explanation. Sanji rolls his eyes “I am and I’ve come up with a proposition that unfortunately would please you as well as help out a dear friend.” He doesn’t have to look to know that the other is smiling; he can hear it in his voice “I’m listening?”

“I know your numbers haven’t been the same since Smile corp. pulled out of the deal, but what if I told you I had a way to stop the wedding and turn Big Mom against them instead.”

Judge finally turned around to meet his son eye to eye. “I would tell you, you’re finally thinking like a Vinsmoke.” He sat down gesturing for Sanji to do the same “ I’ve been meaning to deal with Doflamingo for a while now. Depending on what you have in mind you’d have my full support.” Reluctantly plan B was going to work better than expected.

—

Since that night with Law you were anxious yet relieved that it had settled a few things in your head. Contrary to popular belief Law did have a very good reason for putting on a front and being an asshat. He still loves you an ungodly amount and will make it up to you no matter what happens at the wedding. Doflamingo had been pulling all the strings the entire time. Where you stand with Pudding was a mystery but you don’t resent her, especially after watching her interact with her family but on the other hand you feel like you are forgetting something fairly obvious.

You have been the busiest you think you’ve ever been in your life. You’ve pretty much been attached to your phone making phone call after phone call to triple check everything was set for the wedding. The flowers, cake, entertainment and whatever else was detailed in her wedding binder were all under your jurisdiction, for some reason. You would think that with the power her family had someone else could have taken these responsibilities from you. Especially since this wasn’t any normal wedding. Currently you were glued to Pudding’s side in one of her family's vacation homes that was a scenic retreat and close to the venue. You’ve kept contact with the others to a minimum and you're not sure what the plan even is. You’re getting nervous. Sure you haven’t reached out and you felt partially responsible for coming up with a real plan, but you would think that someone could have contacted you at some point but no one did and now it’s the day before the reckoning and you're kicking up dirt. The most you could remember was that the Vinsmoke family has a beachfront villa near Big mom’s.

Tonight was the rehearsal dinner and it was pretty much just for everyone involved in the ceremony to figure out how to enter, where to stand, and lastly where to go after the fact. You flipped through the binder again trying to check over a fourth time that you hadn’t forgotten anything when there was a knock at the door.

“Come in.”

You looked up from the book to see Pudding looking at you feeling overwhelmed. “Sorry I didn’t mean to bother you but my family keeps arriving and I don’t want to greet them.” You blink at her a few times “You want to talk about it, or just need a spot to hide.”

Pudding was perplexed. “Why would I want to talk about it with you?”

You shrugged “I don’t know, just thought I’d ask. I don’t have much to do until tonight when I inevitably blow a gasket,” you flipped back through the binder to the page with her family on it, gesturing to the book “That and I’ve been curious as to why some of these faces are crossed off.” Pudding was caught off guard. She slowly sat in the chair across from you. Over time you’ve both accepted that you have a strange relationship. Where you are not quite friends but you couldn’t exactly say you were enemies either and you knew for a fact you weren’t rivals, especially when Pudding doesn’t even like Law at all. Pudding has pretty much treated you like shit so she still doesn’t understand the reason you keep being nice to her. It’s not like you have to, it’s just not in your nature. It takes too much effort trying to navigate this weird set of circumstances. Why waste your energy?

“You just want information to use against me for revenge.” she spat childishly.

You snorted “I can think of hundreds ways I could have gotten revenge or embarrassed you by now,” it’s technically true you had thought about it but now knowing that your assumption was correct, that Doflamingo has been watching your every move, it gives you more of a reason not to act on the ideas. “So spill I have to interact with your family too ya know.”

She stared back at you wide eyed before looking away “I mean,” Pudding started off wondering if she should actually tell you or just make up a lie. It’s not like she owes you the truth. “I have a big family, there were bound to be people I didn’t get along with.”

There was something about the way she said it that told you that it wasn’t entirely true but it wasn’t entirely false either, you didn’t try to pry. It was already more of an answer than you thought she would give you “Yeah, I get’cha. I might be an only child but I’m only so so on my extended family. It’s like fool me once, I kill you.” She grinned at your dumb joke grabbing for the binder on the table. “There was one sister that I really wanted to invite but I was told not to.” She flipped through the pages until it landed on one where the picture was crossed off in red instead of black “Lola was my favorite sister. I used to follow her around all the time and she was always really nice to me. Despite our age difference she didn’t treat me like some of our other sisters.” Pudding smiled fondly remembering.

“I used to idolize her because she was the only one of my siblings that wasn’t afraid of standing up to our mother.” Pudding could vividly remember the day Lola told her mom that she didn’t want to be a patisserie. It was also the reason that she decided to take up the mantle instead. For the sake of the sister she loved.

“So what happened?” you were actually invested since you’ve never heard Pudding talk highly about anyone other than Sanji.

“She,” Pudding paused as the joy in her voice faded out, “didn’t want to marry who mama set up for her.” she articulated the rest with a frown as her fate started to sink in. You could see the gears turning in her head as she sullenly looked at her feet. It seems she’s come to the same conclusion as you. You wanted to reach out but you didn’t know how to comfort her. There was probably nothing that you could say that would make her feel better about the situation she was in.

She has gone her whole life being told what to do and how to act similarly to Law with Doflamingo but at least Law has Corazon. Had Corazon. A sour taste fills your mouth as it finally dawns on you that everyone’s parents are just playing with their children like little dolls and it makes you sick to your stomach. An image from your past flicks to the forefront of your mind of a time when your parents were around. It was the moment you decided that you wanted to be an actor because the one thing you wanted more in life was to make everyone you meet feel moved in some way shape or form but simply put, you just wanted to make people smile. For all the days that you didn’t feel good enough.

Both you and Pudding were on the verge of tears. For different reasons but god you felt pathetic about it. You need to stop inserting yourself into other people’s business because at this point you just keep digging yourself a bigger hole.

Hole.

Oh no, you were afraid you forgot something. Snatching the binder off the table startled Pudding as you agonized over the small detail you missed. There had been a hole in the binder where before and after pictures of the wedding were supposed to go. Today would be the last day to take them. A lightbulb went off in your head as you looked out the window. You still had a few hours before the rehearsal. You needed to make another phone call, you had a vision.

“Pudding, get the girls ready and meet me at the beach in an hour,” you stood confident as you sent out a text to the boys to do the same. “We forgot to take photos at the beach!”

She looked up at you stupefied. “Of all the times I thought to myself “What does Law even see in you” I think I finally understand.” You tilted your head to the side “Huh?”

She giggled at you, waving her hand in front of her face to mask the fact that her eyes were watering. “Nevermind, I’ll let everyone know.” As Pudding left the room she smiled bittersweetly. You were such a genuine person it hurts sometimes. One day she would be deserving of your friendship.

—

Sanji was relieved when he got your call. Having his friends meet his family had been a nightmare. Luffy had almost immediately threatened his father upon arrival and if it hadn’t been for Zoro he’s sure that Luffy would have run at him by now. His sister gets along too well with all of his friends in an almost unsettling kind of way and Yonji has not stopped trying to flirt with Nami despite her clear lack of interest. So the moment you gave him an out with the prospect of taking pictures of Pudding he grabbed Luffy and bolted. Not wanting to think about the repercussions of leaving Zoro, Nami and Robin with his siblings.

As Sanji approached everyone on the beach he held up his camera “Hear you guys needed a photographer!”

You and the girls were already in formation waiting for the boys to make their way down. You wanted to take a series of pictures, just the girls, just the guys, then everyone together and lastly one of Pudding and Law. It would be bizarre if they didn’t have a couples shot and you could sense Doffy staring at you from somewhere in the distance but you couldn’t pinpoint where. When you turned around to greet your friends you stumbled a bit at Luffy’s usual running jump hug.

Luffy snickered before whispering “Don’t worry we have a plan, it’s all taken care of.” Your eyes widened not truly knowing what he meant by that but you didn’t have time to ask nor was this the place. That’s when the boys and Law made their way over to you and Law got tackled by Luffy as well.

Sanji had started dabbling in photography around high school after Nami and Chopper made comments that he should make a food blog. He hadn’t taken many pictures of people but the same rules of composition should still apply. It didn’t take long since everyone was waiting around anyway. Although when it was Pudding and Law’s turn, it just didn’t look right.

Sanji was getting annoyed at Law’s detached, almost clinical expressions. “At least hold her shoulder or her hand or something and would it kill you to smile.” Sure he understood the situation but everyone else was playing along just fine. Law only rolled his eyes putting his hand on Pudding’s shoulder. “Like this?”

“No, no absolutely not. You look like a cardboard cut out.” Sanji handed you the camera as he marched over to demonstrate “Move.” The blonde shooed the surgeon away so he could delicately pull Pudding towards him with a loving look on his face. Needless to say, you snapped a picture of it. Law rolled his eyes following exactly to the letter how the cook held Pudding. You gave him a wink right before Sanji took the picture just to mess with him. The face he made was priceless. The best part was he couldn’t say shit.

After that Sanji and Luffy left as everyone else made their way to the venue for the long awaited rehearsal. For once all you had was to sit back and be told what to do and where to go which was a load off of your shoulders. If you didn’t have to be up early to meet with the hairstylists and the florist you would have had a drink. You’ve definitely earned one. The night shockingly went well. There were a few little comments from Linlin and Doffy. Nothing serious, more placement things above anything else, but other than that the two seemed satisfied with the endeavor. You watched as Pudding finally relaxed at dinner and took that as you cue to finally breathe easy. The hard part was almost over now you just had to trust that Luffy and co. had everything else figured out. Which was daunting and probably would keep you up for at least another hour or so. You tossed and turned trying to get comfortable. This might be a problem if you can’t get to sleep at a reasonable hour.

—

Across the way Pudding was also having a similar dilemma. No matter how she laid down she couldn’t get comfy. She added more pillows, blankets, even stuffed animals but it didn’t lull her to sleep and it didn’t ease her mind about tomorrow either. It was a big day. Dare she say the most important day of her life. Not that marriage was the most important event for a lady but this would be the most important social event for the Charlotte family business and she didn’t want to ruin their reputation. After all this isn’t really about her and maybe that’s why she’s bothered?

Pudding got up from the bed opening the curtains on her window to view the moon. Maybe she needed to clear her head before she made such an important decision. Without anymore stalling she put on her night slippers and slipped outside through her balcony. When she got to the sands edge she took off her slippers leaving them by the stairs and casually strolled along the beach as if the sand against her feet would give her the courage or answers she was looking for. The soft sound of the waves crashing distracted her enough to where she didn’t hear the footsteps closing in, not until a familiar shadow joined hers did she turn around in a panic.

“I didn’t mean to startle you! I just saw you out here and thought a walk on the beach didn’t sound that bad.” Sanji looked away sheepishly fixing his hair to give his fidgeting fingers something to do. She lightly pushed his arm rubbing her face. “As if you could scare anyone with that dopey smile of yours.” They laughed and walked along the water's edge enjoying each other’s company. Talking about whatever came to mind at the hour.

Once Pudding deemed that they were far enough away from the villa she let the water run over her toes. Letting the icy water and cool breeze cover her skin. Right now she feels free even if she’s never known true freedom. “When you left your family, were you nervous?”

“Are you nervous?”

They both stared at the moon. Pudding hummed “Not really, I know what’s expected of me.” She was already walking a fine line and despite everything she would be willing to cross it. “I’ve already made my choice.”

—

You were finally about to drift to sleep when you thought you heard a soft knock at your door and being as paranoid as possible you bolted upright. You swear if it’s nothing and was just the wind or something you’re going to scream. You opened the door slowly to be met with Doflamingo. A chill ran down your spine as you straightened out. “Doffy? Is there something I could help you with?” You wondered aloud. To be honest you were half expecting it to be Law or Pudding. His expression was hard to read and he didn’t speak immediately which was rather unnerving but you had to stand your ground. This was a test both of your will and of your patience.

“I didn’t get the opportunity earlier to thank you for everything you’ve done for the occasion. I’m sure if Corazon were here he’d have showered you in praise. I’d like to show my gratitude somehow.”

The level of unease was insurmountable but you tried to stay calm offering a frank “Well I am Pudding’s maid of honor. There’s really no need to thank me for doing my job.” Your heart was pounding in your chess as he approached resting a hand on the small of your back to lead you out of the room and down the hall. The door behind you closed with a soft click. You didn’t dare look back, you kept looking forward and playing along with whatever game the blonde was getting at.

“Nonsense, it’s the least I could do. I know how much work goes into lavish social occasions. I do have to say you’ve exceeded my expectations.”

“H-have I now? You cursed yourself for stuttering but you were terrified.

Doflamingo opened the door to his room and motioned for you to go inside first. “You have,” he dipped down to whisper in your ear “Not many people manage to successfully pull off a heist underneath my surveillance.”

You turned around sharply to see Doflamingo holding up a picture taken from the bachelor party. It was during your set as you were about to spin on the pole. The blood drained from your face.

He knows.

Thoughtlessly you took a step back into the room and were grabbed from behind. A damp cloth muffled your panic before it all faded to black.

___

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[theladysherlock]

talk shop tuesday! incredible coincidence - i wanted to ask you more about your dnd OCs, and you posted a new art piece with one of them! continuing the theme: could you tell more about your dnd OCs and how they came to be?

Ohhhh you have opened Pandora's Box my friend!! I could talk about this topic all day.

Basically there's two parts to this: my approach to DnD in general, and in-depth explanations of the characters. I'm going to put this under a Read More to save everyone's Dash.

Part One: Dungeons and Dragons

So the thing I love most about DnD (and other TTRPGs) is that it's a collaborative game. I'm not responsible for the entirety of the story, I bring my character to the table and everyone else brings their characters and between us, the DM, and the dice, we figure out where the story is going. I enjoy it so much more than trying to come up with everything on my own. And I love that people can surprise me!! @mothmansbigfatass and @ahawkmet (my irl friends and in most of the campaigns I play) can attest, apparently I'm a lot of fun to watch during revelations because I always have a big reaction.

So when making a dnd character, it's important for me to know 1. What the world we'll be playing in is like, and 2. What everyone else is doing. Again, it's a collaborative game, so I want to make sure that I'm playing nice with the DM's world. AND often the setting itself will give me an idea (see Ethan: the game is set at a community college. What's a college stereotype that would be fun to play?). Ideally, the character I make would have a really hard time being plopped into a different campaign and have it still make sense. Secondly, it's more fun for me to play a class that will fill out the party. For example, if we already have a cleric, I don't also need to play a religious character. Those story beats are covered by someone else, I don't want to be competing with another person for cool moments.

Once those two things are settled, character creation is determined by what seems fun to play and what would be interesting aesthetically. I like to keep the backstory light to see what happens as we start playing, and then I can fill it in bit by bit later. Sometimes that bites me in the ass, though (see Ethan: I didn't give him birth parents and then they were incredibly important to the plot). I tend to have a general idea about who they are and what they're like, and then I always get surprised by what they actually end up acting like once we start playing. It's fun for me to figure them out along the way!

The last thing I wanna say about DnD (for now) is that I love everyone else's characters just as much. I just draw mine more because, well, they're mine. I feel weird putting their guys in situations and guessing how they'd react because they aren't my little guys. I much prefer working collaboratively with the other players (like an RP thread) to just writing a story on my own.

Part Two: Ethan

Where to even start with my boy. A bunch of my work friends got together to start a DnD game, and I hadn't played with most of them before so I wasn't sure what to expect. I also did not think the game would last very long, since most campaigns tend to fizzle out after a few sessions. So I made kind of a joke character with extremely little backstory: He's a half-orc, since I hadn't played that race before, he's a bard who is the captain of the local community college's Improv Team, he's "the kind of guy to play wonderwall at a party but you're not mad about it", and I said he's adopted by two men, neither of whom were his biological parents, and he wasn't particularly interested in tracking down his bio parents. This last point is for two reasons: one, I was trying to avoid just duplicating a Dimension 20's Gorgug, a half-orc who was adopted by gnomes and spent the whole first season trying to find his dad; and two, I was pushing an "Adopted parents are not less than biological parents" agenda.

My DM took this personally (affectionate). First session, I was given a clue about his birth parents' identities. From then on, Ethan was dragged kicking and screaming into being the unofficial main character of the campaign. His mom was one of our favorite NPCs, a kickass pirate with a truly tragic backstory who would always jump to help us out of a scrape. His biological dad was the human embodiment of Pride who had took on the form of Fantasy Harrison Ford and was an extremely famous actor in-world. Our BBEG was his uncle, the embodiment of Greed. Every plot point became very personal and it was a lot of fun. I also loved putting him through the wringer, so between me and the DM the poor guy couldn't catch a break.

Part of the dice telling the story, I rolled so bad all the time when I played Ethan. It didn't matter which dice I used, I just rolled really bad, which was not something that normally happened with me. So that was fun to incorporate into his character as we played-- he was insecure about his own abilities compared to the extremely powerful characters he was surrounded by (we had a 20 ft Earth Titan who was an extremely powerful Druid, Emeshka you will always be famous). So he became a more three-dimensional and actualized character the more we played.

He's extremely easy to put in situations and his character design is pretty solid, so I end up drawing him the most. My perfect little guy.

(Anything about him I've tagged either "Ethan" or "Big Yarr Energy" if you want to find more)

Part Three: Mina

After the campaign with Ethan wrapped up, we started a new one in a Cthulhu-inspired setting. My goal with making Mina was to do as close to a 180 as I could from Ethan. While Ethan was a friendly and charming but bad at most things, Mina is a competent and intelligent Druid who's blunt and overworked and doesn't quite know how to meaningfully engage with her party members (but she tries, bless her). Druid was one of the classes I hadn't played yet and I've been making my way through the list of available classes. The One-With-Nature stuff isn't super interesting to me as a player, but I found a homebrew subclass that was based more in Big Cities and as an Architecture Nerd that was much more my speed. Also, I hadn't played an Aasimar before, so that seemed like fun. From all that, I pulled together her whole deal: She was from a bloodline of guardian angels who were sent to protect different villages and towns, and she's gone from her mother's small town to being the guardian of a city of several million people and it's overwhelming. She's lonely and she's jaded and she's got severe Gifted Kid Syndrome and she's got her head on a swivel to make sure her party members are okay even if they don't like her very much and I love her.

I didn't give her a lot of tragic backstory because there are a lot of us playing and I wanted to have a character who could push the plot forward with her actions, instead of having a "now let's stop and talk about my life!!" moment every session that seemed to happen with Ethan. Give everyone else some time to have cool moments, you know? And by GOD are there some cool moments. My fellow players are so good at making compelling characters. Ask @mothmansbigfatass about Nelly if you get a chance.

We're still playing this campaign, although we're nearing the end of it. There's still space for some big moments for Mina in the game, though I'm hoping our DM lets me save hers for last. She's the kind of character to make sure everyone else is okay before taking care of herself, so it feels appropriate. I'm excited to see where Mina ends up. She's definitely a character I'll go back and write/draw a lot afterwards, though. Part of being in a group this size means there's a lot of stuff that just won't get covered. I'll have a lot of material to play with for my own work once we get to the next campaign.

(Anything about Mina I've tagged either "Mina" or "Cthulhu Crimes" if you want to find more)

Part Four: Jess

Jess is a character that isn't from DnD but is a TTRPG character of mine, and I like her so I'm going to talk about her too. Jess is a cautionary tale in Knowing Your Audience.

Jess is from a different group of players than Ethan and Mina. Our DM for that game is notorious for wanting to give us Big, Shonen-Style fight scenes and an insane level of power creep. Character interactions are fine, but his true passion is making us look like Goku.

Jess was... not built to look like Goku. In this world you could identify different types of magic users by their focus, and I wanted her whole schtick to be about deception. She looked like a wizard when she was actually a monk, she looked like a dumb blonde girl when she was extremely smart and good at stealing things, she's a dancer but her primary fighting style was based on capoeira, etc. Also part of why Jess sticks with me as a favorite character is the way I had her powers work was so fun and visually interesting that I haven't been able to shake it. Basically her superpower was that she could snatch bits of other people's powers and use them herself, and you could tell which ones she had because they would fill out spectral stained glass wings with specific colors.

Jess was (and still is, frankly) too complicated for the game our DM wanted to run. Immediately any hope of her being a chronic liar was dashed as her powers did not manifest in a way that could possibly pass off as being a wizard. So instead of being sneaky, Jess became very angry. She was quick to point out injustices in the world we were in. She beat up creeps, she yelled at bigots, she stole powers from macho superheroes trying to one-up her. She had to get a lot less complicated for the story we were in, but the complicated version of her still lives in my head and I like to see what she's up to from time to time.

(I don't think I have anything tagged for Jess, unfortunately)

TL; DR:

TTRPG characters are fun because they let me do my favorite thing creatively, which is bounce ideas off of other people. I typically design them based on the setting, party needs, character tropes that I think are interesting, and just general vibes. Most importantly, though, I don't have a fleshed out character without the input of the other players.