#so I’ve seen a bunch of other people’s guns but not the family farm one

[always-a-slut-4-ghouls]

People say scatterbrained but I feel like my brain is shotgun pellets

[sugolara]

𝘾𝙧𝙪𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙙

ft. K.B x S.T x I.M x fem! reader

Synopsis: After a deadly virus leaks all over the world, every country is forced to close down it's borders and airports to prevent anyone from coming in and out. Though, it's to late for some people. The dead has rose and is looking for revenge. Cw: gore, quirkless! au, apocalypse! au, zombie! au, weapons, death, angst, lots and lots of blood, cannibalism, suicidal thoughts, slow burn

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“Is Nezu going to tell Denki about this?” Shoto asked Hanta, unsure of how things go when someone dies.

Hanta let out a sigh as he, Shoto and F/n headed towards the weaponry—well the two males followed the girl as she took the lead, “Nezu personally tells the family. He does it because he's the leader, but a part of me thinks he also does it because he feels guilty. Most of the people who died were killed by Tomura, with their families watching.”

“As for Aizawa?” Shoto asked again, “Is there a…funeral? I’ve seen burials behind the farm.”

“Yeah, they tell both him and his daughters along with Yagi.” He placed his hand on his nape, “And we do funerals. We do them when everyone is back from scavenging so they all get their last say. If the families wish for the loved ones to be burned or buried, then Nezu allows it.

“But since Denki and Aizawa aren’t here, he makes the call. We also write down their names in a book so we don’t forget them and then place it in a church by the farm.” He finished off with a sad sigh. He too was saddened by their deaths. He spent years with them, so for them to die right in front of him, made him severely upset. He would grieve later, in his bedroom.

“I’ve seen it.” Shoto remembered the white wooden church. He had gone there before he heard the commotion. Despite the church's wooden floors creaking underneath his foot, it was relatively nice and big inside. It was also very quiet, he almost felt like he could hear his mind. He also saw the book of names, a lot being on the list, “When do funerals usually happen?”

“During sundowns.” When they arrived at the weaponry, Hanta was the last to enter, “The shade of orange makes people feel comforted. Not really sure why.”

“Sunsets are nice to look a-” Shoto let out a small grunt as F/n shoved him a pistol. He had to admit that it kind of hurt, “What do I need this for?”

She gave him a look while passing one to Hanta, “You’ve seen what just happened. You really want that for yourself, because I don’t.”

“You’re being paranoid.” Hanta had to say it as he willingly took the gun. 

“Seriously?” She glared at him, “I’m just trying to make sure that you can protect yourselves, alright. Don’t think I haven’t forgotten about Katsuki and Izuku.”

“Wait.” Shoto said, eying the pistol, “Don’t they take inventory? They’ll know that someone took it.”

“Yeah, he's right, F/n.” Hanta added.

She rolled her eyes and placed one in her jacket, “You guys are so stupid. With how quickly Mirio and that other guy went to grab the guns, they didn't have time to do inventory. I saw they added a bunch of guns; rifles and pistols. They’ll just add the ones we're taking to them.”

“I’m not stupid.” Shoto said, slightly glaring at her, “Don’t you think they’ll know which guns they took even with how quickly they went?”

“Watch that face.” She returned the glare, “Even if they remember, I doubt they’ll go asking questions. They’re terrified of Tomura and his group.”

“She’s also right.” Hanta then began to head out, feeling awkward, “I’m gonna go home and wait for Denki and Eijiro. Feel free to come.”

When the door shut, Shoto’s glare disappeared while her’s still stayed as she grabbed a box of ammo, “Here. Make sure to only use it when necessary, alright. And make sure to shoot this time.”

He scoffed as he sat on the stool that Gunhead previously sat on, “Right.”

“I’m done here, anyways.” She said and looked at him, “You wanna go home?”

“Yeah.”  Home. That sounded nice to him. He then thought about tonight's dinner, “You mind if we make soba tonight?”

“Sure.” She nodded, “Don’t know how to make that.”

“I can make it.” He smiled as they both exited the building and then made their way towards the food house. Making a meal for F/n, honestly made him feel intimate. Almost like she was actually his, and he would be preparing her meals, waking her up and doing what any partner would do.

He would obviously be different from his father, though he hoped, from what he heard, that she too would be different from her father. But the sad thing is, he could already tell just who she was becoming and if he had to cherish what little days he had with her, then that was exactly what he was going to do. 

“You’re just in luck.” Tamaki said as handed Shoto the last few packs of noodles, “We’re still opening the packed food that you guys had brought. It’s a lot…so thank you.”

Seiji also nodded as he was in the back opening a box of cereal to place on the shelves, “Yeah, no kidding. If it weren’t for them we would have supplies that would last for at least a few months.”

“Maybe Katsuki and Izuku will bring back enough.” F/n said, letting Tamaki help Shoto with the rest, “Though I highly doubt it.”

“Who knows what's out there.” Seiji said, a box of chips in hand, “The community is just glad that you were able to risk your life for us.”

She had playfully scoffed, “We didn’t exactly risk our life. More like sitting on our ass for the most of it.”

When he let out a short laugh, she was able to get a good look at him. He kind of looked like Hitoshi. When she had asked Hanta for his whereabouts, the male had told him that he had died a long while back, since the beginning. To think her good friend, her best friend died really hurt her. 

She couldn’t help but think that he was weak. But she understood that Hitoshi and her were on different levels, so of course it was evident that he would die. As long as he wasn’t suffering anymore, that was all that mattered. 

From Shoto’s view, he began to get a little jealous as he watched her interact with Seiji. He couldn’t hear their conversation clearly, but it must've been good if she managed to make the male laugh. How come she didn’t make him laugh when they first met? 

“We’re done.” Shoto said and grabbed her arm.

“What?” She said.

“We’re done.” He guided her, “Let’s go home.”

“Okay.” She was confused but didn’t say anything. She looked at the basket he held, “So you got all the ingredients.”

He nodded, “Most of it, but I’ll think of something.”

While Shoto began to make dinner, F/n headed to shower. After she returned to her room and looked out her window. She could slightly see outside the walls. All she could see were destroyed homes since the community was surrounded by it. She couldn’t see a few rotters, but only a few. 

The people who took watch did a great job at getting rid of them. Maybe she should talk to Nezu and get placed there instead. She’d be using a gun and that sounded much more fun than cleaning one. She didn’t want to get soft like everyone else. She’d be a great asset with her experience anyways. 

“Damn, this is really good.” She said as she chewed on the noodles, “Had I known you were such a great cook I definitely would have talked to you in high school. You and Izuku. Don’t know much about Katsuki.”

“Thanks.” A faint blush coated his cheeks, “I was thinking, since I don’t have much work with Momo in the gardening, that I’d come help you in the weaponry room. Get experience on what you have.”

She listened, spinning her chopsticks, “Yeah, sure. I can teach you, I was planning on doing so anyways. If you want to survive then you gotta know your weapons and know how to shoot. Not that I'm saying you don’t, just more of being careful.”

She would have mentioned teaching Izuku and Katsuki, but chose not to as she wanted to enjoy the time with him. Just him and her.

Her saying that she was going to help him made him have a smile. He’s never felt this way about anyone and to feel it, it felt so good. Even if the relationship was one-sided or if she was still trying to process it, Shoto should let her know.

..He should let her know…right? 

Now that it's just them, he should tell her what he's truly feeling, before Izuku and Katsuki have the chance. If she were to say yes then he’d be ecstatic, but if she were to say no…he didn’t even want to think about it. But he has to let her know before something were to happen to him.

He continued to stare at her. He was nervous and his body heating up didn’t help, “...F/n..”

She hummed, “Yeah?

“I..” Say it, Shoto.

“You…?” She stared confusingly at him, her fingers holding onto the chopsticks mid air.

“..I.” Just say it, Shoto.

“Are you feeling okay?” She noted that his cheeks were red.

His eyes stared at her beautiful eyes, his brows were furrowed and he noted that she did the same. No, he couldn’t say it. Not yet at least, so for now he’ll contain his feelings and scoff at himself as he stared at the confused girl, “I’m tired. I think I’ll be heading to bed.”

“Uh,” She watched as he stood up, placed his half eaten soba in the sink and left for his bedroom, “...Okay.”

Had she said something to upset him? She hoped not, though she did want to hear what he had to say.

She now sat alone in the kitchen, unsure of what to do. The silence was loud as she looked to where he previously sat. She could hear him walking, though his footsteps soon quieted down. 

She slurped the last noodle and placed her plate away before entering her room. The gun she had to take, she tucked it away under her bed where a floorboard was coming out. She had grabbed a few bullets and tucked those away as well. 

She changed into comfortable clothing, mentally wishing Shoto a good night as she laid on her bed, where sleep consumed her. Unknowingly, the male doing the same as he stared at the ceiling, a letter resting next to him that could change his whole life.

The candles and lamp were the only ones that lighted Nezu’s office. His pet rat had gone asleep a while ago, so it was just him, Shota and Toshinori in his room. They had come back after their long month run, bringing what they could find as well as a family. 

After the family had gotten settled in their new home, Shota and Toshinori reported back to Sorston’s leader. They had informed the shorter male about the cities they’ve come across. A few towns that were still gated, but no energy or utility source. They wanted to expand Sortson, but with how things were going, they had to put the plan on pause. 

Shota and Toshinori had to sit down after hearing their friend's death. “I am sorry.”

Of course Shota was mad, he was furious but he displayed it with a sadden look as he had his hands on his face, “...Has he been buried?”

Nezu nodded, “Yes.”

Toshinori let out a soft sigh, as always putting his students first, “How is Denki doing?”

“They are to return tomorrow morning. I dispatched them before the signal could get lost.” Nezu said as he fixed a paper in front of him, “He and Eijirio brought back a group of your students; Katsuki, Izuku, Shoto and F/n.”

“They made it?” Toshinori was glad to hear that they were alive, “How far were they?”

“A day away.” Nezu said, “The funeral will hap-”

“Nezu.” Shota removed his hands from his face and looked at the male in front of them. They should have called a council meeting, but Shota didn’t want to wait. He didn’t want to wait for the rest to only deny, “We can’t keep doing this. Giving them what we find and in return they kill one of us. What kind of play is that?”

Nezu blinked, “I hope you’re not suggesting we do something.”

“I am.” Shota narrowed his eyes, or one of them at least. Due to Tomura’s antics the male had lost his right eye, “Countless of our people are dying because of him. Both my daughters could be next, anybody could be next.”

Toshinori knew where this was heading, “We need to call a meeting, Shot-” 

“No. This stays between us, we make a call on this.” Shota then eyed Nezu, “We can’t let them keep doing this to us, Nezu. We have to put an end to it even if I or some of us have to die doing it.”

“Shota!” Toshinori couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

Nezu wanted  to disagree, he knows it's a bad idea.. It could all backfire and Sorston would be in an even more trouble than they are now. But, if everything went right, if Shota managed to pull this off, then Sorston would be free. Sorston would no longer have to be in fear and work until they die to please Tomura’s group; All For One.

All they needed to do was wait until he found a better solution, but, as much as he wanted to deny, what else could he do? This wasn’t the best plan, and all the plans Nexu had thought of only ended in bloodshed. But he had to take some control, let his people, his community feel safer, even if some had to die trying to make it better.

The smaller male looked back down to his desk, papers of written names from Sorston’s people. He hasn’t managed to interview Katsuki, Izuku, Shoto and F/n, but when he spoke with Hanta, he had written some information about his cousin. 

He had to put his fear for the people behind, “I will gather some people to help you out, including myself.”

“No.” Shota said, placing his hand out to stop him, “You won’t be in this fight.”

“Shota, I am the leader, these people count on me to do the right thing.” He then added, “I know I don’t have to, but I want to. To avenge our fallen comrades.”

“And that is the reason why you can not come.” The raven-haired male said, “If we bring you and  things go bad Sorston won’t have a leader. This place needs one.”

“I agree.” Toshinori said as he looked at Nezu, “And with all due respect sir, you'll only be holding us back. So please, stay here.”

Nezu let a low sigh come from his nose, he had already chosen who was to lead next incase something were to happen to him and the council team knew it, yet they still refuse to believe it. He closed his eyes for a short moment before looking at the two in front, “I understand. Shota, you will be the lead for this operation. Toshinori you follow after.”

“Thank you, sir.” The two male say and bow their heads. 

Nezu nodded as he shuffled through the papers on his desk, “I will have a group of people ready so that they can come with you. You can take your time with this, but I’ll have you know that Tomura is to return next week.”

“We’ll be ready before next week.” Shota then stood up, “And about the people, I hope you don’t mind that I pick and choose.”

“Not at all.” Nezu stood up to grab a folder that held all the names and information of the community's people, “I haven’t had the chance to add your students. F/n was never yours, but she knows how to handle a weapon, same as Hanta, so please, have her come with you.”

Once again Shota bowed before he and Toshinori left the room, “Thank you, sir.”

[abloomntime]

A Bloom In Time Ch24 Accidential New Star

(I had to look up the prices and what the bill document said to get this right.)

Dead Bird Studios.

The place where for YEARS had been the birthplace of creativity and actors on the big screen. And now she was standing right in front of it. The others didn't look so fazed at the big building considering they had been there multiple times before but that didn't stop her from staring up in fascination at it all. It. WAS. HUGE!! WAY bigger than those tall buildings back on the moon. A giant logo sign of a black bird skull and film real decorated the outside on the big front there with the giant words under it reading DEAD BIRD STUDIOS. A parking lot stood between them and the entrance and they were already walking across it towards the entrance. To the far left of them, they could all see a bunch more of those cars parked into the rectangular spaced, not that Poppy was paying attention as they marched across in the hot sun beating down on them all. Poppy would be lying if she wasn't impressed, as she subconciously walked after the small group still walking, the shadow of the building fell over her and she involuntarily sighed feeling the harsh rays of the sun gone for a moment. Still following along after them up to the double doors of the building. The grown lady flinched when they opened on their own as soon as Cookie got near it and mumbled grumpily to herself about forgetting her purse and having to walk all the way back here on her day off of all things helping out and how it was so rude of her to make them all take this detour. Not that anyone minded as the children excitedly ran in past them inside. Poppy glanced wearily at the doors for a moment while passing, jumping a foot forward when it closed by themselves, blue eyes glanced between it and Cookie for a moment before following after the mumbling cat. The long hallway was pretty dark with a black carpet with bird skull patterns with lots of white squares lights barely lighting up the place. With a whoosh noise the doors up ahead opened on their own accord and the three children ran on through and into what looked like a well lit room. As they continued to persue the children down the rest of the hall she thought she heard some squeals of delight but she wasn't too sure yet. When she finally approuched the double pair of doors, they opened again with a whoosh for Cookie and Poppy flinched again...Before blinking and sticking her head into the lit room. A giant white Television set(computor) was sat on the counter which was the first thing she saw, and shiny marble floors reflected the bright lights above. There was a tired looking bird manning the counter as he calmly watched everything around him. Next to him was some kind of giant piece of heavy looking machinery, and as Poppy finally stepped in, she gawked at the sight of GIANT glass cases on either side of the room with shiny copies of trouphies safely sat inside with names of old movie directors of years past. But those only held her attention for a moment, above the trophies on either side were giant framed posters. On the right with a few penguins gathered was a strange looking instrument in disco lights, a ...slime monster??, and some penguin in an astronaut suit. To the right was a more western style of two seperate birds holding guns and a random cactus. Two doors were on either side and two signs by them each saying FILMING IN PROGRESS.

"DARLING!! You're back so soon?," A loud voice boomed out and Poppy yelped dropping her bags of clothing on the floor.

Who the voice belongs to was another moon penguin...But this one looked TOTALLY different from any other penguin she's seen before. He wore a ridiculous outfit with weirder shoes on his feet making him taller than the other penguins by a few inches, and he actually had hair and yellow eye brows styled up into some kind of weirder haircut, and last but certainly not least a giant pair of all black shaped sunglasses over his eyes. His beak was curled up in a smile as he approuched from the small crowd of three girls tailing after him as Cookie walked over to him.

"I wasn't expecting my best best network star to return so soon," he happily addressed her earning him a few embarrassed chuckles.

"Not exactly planned. I uh...Forgot my purse on set again and needed to run in and grab it. Can't exactly feed a bunch of hungry children without it now can I? H-How's the movie auditions so far?"

The penguin sighed and reached a flipper up to his forehead. "Easier said than done. There's the part of the wicked family who still need spaces filled in place, and the handsome prince, not to mention that I still have no one to play the concerned father and we only have a few months to put this together! I can't describe how much pressure I'm feeling..But I have a good feeling that this year will be in our favor for sure!"

Cookie smiled brightly. "Oh, I'm sure you'll find the perfect people to fill those roles soon. You always manage to pull off a wonderful display."

"*sigh* I sure hope so, Dear. I'd hate to have nothing to present for my efforts." His gaze turned up once he noticed movement by the doors as Poppy reached back down to pick her bags back up. "And I see you brought a new friend!" Poppy paused as she was approuched by the eccentric looking fella. "Why HELLO there, Darling! I don't believe we've met!"

"Uh..." Poppy had to blink to actually make sure she was seeing who she was actually seeing before shaking her head and standing up, giving a politely smile. "Howdy! I don't think we've met actually."

The penguin chuckled and shook his head. "We didn't and I never forget a pretty face, Darling. And who might you be?"

"I'm those two's temporarily babysitter," she answered pointed at two of the three children huddled by his side. "Until I can get back on mah feet that is. Kinda starting from scratch after a crazy wake up call."

"Well, it's an honor to meet you Darling." His whole being radiated positivity and his voice despite being loud was very welcoming, making Poppy smile brightly, "I take it this is your first time at a studio?"

She smiled a bit shyly. "I-Is it that obvious? hehe" She reached up to rub the back of her neck. "Uh...Y-Yeah. Do you work here?"

At this the penguin and Cookie shared a chuckle before he spoke. "Well, I should hope so. Or else my name isn't DJ Grooves."

Grooves?....DJ Grooves? As in THE Mr. Grooves Cookie had spoken about before? OH! He must've been the director she spot about earlier, that would've explained the way he dressed. This guy was a walking fat cat with deep pockets, but he looked rather friendly and cheerful to her. And not to brag, but she did have a good judge of character usually.

"OH! So YOU'RE this Mr. Grooves I've heard so much about."

He chuckled. "So you heard a lot about me? I'm flattered, Darling. Really I am-" He was interrupted when a rumble sounded out and Poppy grabbed at her stomach embarrased. "...Oh my, my, my. Hungry are we?"

"I haven't eaten since breakfast and we've been running around all day."

"Well, then I better get back there and find that darned thing." Cookie turned to Mr. Grooves with a smile. "Ya'll don't mind if I just run to the back real quick like and grab it do you?"

"Not at all, Darling. Be my guest." Cookie smiled and without another word turned and ran off towards the door on the fair right of the room. The giant thing creaked open and closed behind her as she disappeared into the area behind it. Poppy watched her go behind sighing and stretching out her back from the now uncomfortable weight of the heavy used farm equipment on her, but her attention went back to Mr. Grooves when he pointed towards the counter and spoke again. "Darling, if you want you can just place these bags right on over there with the other random things we brought in today. You look redder than an apple on the sun."

She nodded yes reaching up a hand to wipe at her face. "I feel like a baked apple too. ...Ya sure you don't mind?"

"Not at all, Darling. Not at all. Why don't you go do that and I'll have one of my assistants bring you out a glass."

"Well, if you're really sure."

She smiled and lugged her way over to the counter by the crate and weird machine thing. Placing the bags down by the crate, she shimmied the golf club bag of farming tools off her shoulders and into her hands, leaning them all carefully against the big ol' machine thing next to them. Sighing that her back didn't have weight on it anymore she stretched it out making her back pop. A few giggles made her look back over towards the small group of girls around the penguin. Bow was still pouting looking down at the clothes in disgust but looked up when the penguin adjusted the sunhat on her head, she looked up at him and Mr. Grooves said something to her. Poppy couldn't hear exactly what he said but it put a smile on Bow's face and he patted her head with a flipper. A smile returning to her face at the cute scene in front of her. A small creaking noise came from her left, and Poppy didn't notice the expensive camera starting to lean from the weight of her tools.

BAM!!

A loud bang filled the room but strangely enough, barely anyone flinched or looked up from it. As if used to hearing large booming noises in the studio. The only ones who reacted was Mr. Grooves, the girls, and Poppy. Poppy all but jumped out of her skin backing against the counter and whirling towards the source of the sound, the girls seemed to flinch, and Mr. Grooves only casually looked over towards the left side of the studio. There the other giant pair of double doors had been kicked open and slammed into the walls, a moment later a very angry......Yellow owl?? Stomped out and behind him followed some regular Express Owls holding various items or just following. .....Wat? Poppy had to blink as the small whatever he was stomped over near to where she was standing and starting barking demands all of a sudden.

"You three grab the bloody camera and make sure ye pecknecks keep a tight grip on it! I nae need me raw footage damaged in anyway!" His head turned as he barked orders to the owls who jumped and nodded at their bosses demands. "Good! Can't count on you all to do anything without me tellin' ye to cannae?"

Well THAT was rude. Poppy frowned at the rude little whatever he was and still didn't notice the large machine next to her lean over even more. Neither Poppy, the owls, or whoever this small yellow guy was(who was still yelling at the poor owls through all of this might I add) noticed the heavy duty camera leaning over or the glamerous penguin waltz on over towards him with a smile until they all reacted at his voice. The owls stopping, the yellow bird thing freezing for a few seconds, his fist shaking and slowly closing into fists, and his head snapping to peer over his shoulder, and Poppy looking over blinking.

"Conductor, Darling. You mustn't be so loud. It disturbs the peace and scares potential clients away," Mr. Grooves calmly spoke to this person. "You know I'm still expecting others to answer my casting calls."

Wait. Didn't Cookie also mention a Conductor? Huh. So this must be him. Not gonna lie, not a good first impression to her if she said so herself. Conductor huffed and turned his whole body turned to completely face the calm moon penguin now.

"Tis NAE of your business ye no good puffy haired peckneck!!," Conductor shouted while pointing a hand at Mr. Grooves. He was loud enough to make Poppy wince. "Why don't ye badger off and leave me to my worrrrrk!!"

"Darling, I would love nothing MORE than to leave you alone undisturbed," Mr. Grooves insisted calmly holding up his flippers, "All I ask is that you don't make such a ruckus in the lobby so my interviewers don't get scared off."

"HA!! Ye still going on 'bout that nonsense! Like anyone would rrrreally want to be in some techno sore to the eyes picture like yours!"

"Well that's not true at all. I have a gentlemen coming in tomorrow to see for the part of the Father in my little play. "

"HA!! The third one in a row? By this rate, ye won't be able to show ye face at the Award Ceremony for judging!" He smiled this time and crossed his arms.

"Now, now. There's still lots of time. And I'm going for something far more simple this year. A little change of style but still fabulous if I do say so myself."

"HMPH!! Well I say ye are full of birdseed if you think you have an inch of chance as usually! Another second place trophy would be more fitted! AHAHAHA!!"

Poppy could feel herself frowning at his words. Well that was really uncalled fore especially since Mr. Grooves wasn't being rude at all back or making a big scene like Conductor was. CREAAAAAAAAAAKKKK!! Hey...What was that creaking sound? Or was her ears ringing from the earlier screaming.

"Ye should give up now and save ye some trouble! With me raw footage it's surrrre to be in me favor."

CRREEEEEEEEEEEEE-

A giant creaking sound echoed out in a black blur as the giant camera leaned over and tipped. Owls hooted in fear as they scrambled out of the way as all eyes looked over and it seemed time slowed down as it went down, down, down- .....With a loud crash glass and pieces of metal shattered and flew everywhere. On instinct everyone close enough held up their arms and looked away from the shatter, but it was too late. Time slowed down as the camera shattered beyond repair and lots of metal clangs and sounds followed the disaster until it all finally settled piece by piece in front of them all on the floor. Destroyed camera and farming tools splayed on top of it. Everyone stood in shock staring down at the absolutely DESTROYED piece of machinery but that wasn't the last of it. A few sparks from the top of the camera shot out .....and then just a tiny spark of flame appeared. Well that tiny flame was enough to send some panic througout everyone there as owls sqawked and gasped back at the sight of the small flame which slowly started to grow causing everone else to get mildly panicked.

"SOME DARLIN' GET A FIRE EXSTINGISHER!!," Mr. Grooves yelled one flipper going up behind him to push back the small group of children behind him.

"STAND BACK!!"

In a fury of feather and blur, a white streak of foam shot out from some random direction and slammed into the flames, successfully putting out the flames with a sizzling sound by none other than the receptionist. The bird who was behind the counter wasn't finished yet as he continued to spray the camera and part of her tools down until it was all white like snow had piled on it and he stopped. Everyone remained in their tense pose for a long while staring at the camera...before some sighed in relief as did Poppy. Well that was certainly a surprise wasn't it? ...But not a very pleasant one by SOMEONE'S standards.

"MY MOVIE!!," Conductor cried recieving all eyes on his as his hands reached up to grab those feathery parts of his head staring dead at the camera in horror. "ALL ME HARD WORKED RRRRRRAW FOOTAGE IS GONE!!! .....AH!! YOU!!" His horror quickly shifted to anger when he snapped towards the fightened owls with an accusing tone. "YOU NO GOOD......FEATHER BRAINED....PPPPPPPEEEEECCKKNNEEEEEECKSSSS!! I TOLD YE TO BE CAREFULL!! NOW LOOK AT WHAT YE DONE TA ME HARRRD WORK!! WAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH A BLOODY SHATTERED MESS MADE BY BUBBLING BAFOONS?!"

The owls all froze at their bosses torment as Grooves turned around to ask the little girls if they were alright and Poppy stared. Watching as Conductor continued to shout as he blamed the poor owls for the mess....Blue eyes blinked down to the farming tools laid upon the floor. HER mess. The one she made-

Red eyes and shadows stared at her frightened form as a voice hissed. "Take her to the room and lock her away. ...I can't to look at her for as my prince had done. Perhaps locking away her forever will teach her a lesson about gazing into another man's eyes who belong TO ME!!"

"STOP!! JUST STOP IT WAS MY FAULT!!!"

Blue eyes snapped open at the yell. The yell that made everyone freeze and look at the red head who looked just as shocked and surprised as everyone else at her sudden outburst, but the Conductor wasn't yelling at the owls anymore. Despite him not having eyes, she could still tell he was staring right at her along with everyone else around her in more stunned silence as nobody spole.

".......Wot?"

"So YOU'RE the one responsible for this?," the tallest bird from the counter spoke putting down the fire extingisher and crossed his arms with a frown making Poppy flinch.

Poppy stared at him for a moment but seeing one poor worried looking owl behind him, made her frown before taking a deep inhale...and nodding towards the receptionist without hesitation. "That's right! One hundred peckin' percent!" She boldly pointed to the half foam covered tools by now. "Those are mah tools and it's mah fault the giant whatcha-ma-callit thing fell over 'n broke! Not anyone else's! So don't be yelling at anyone!"

The receptionist stood there for a moment staring at her before reaching into his back pocket and pulling out a pen and piece of paper. "Are you willing to pay for the damages? If you chose to claim the damages that is."

She nodded again without hesitation. "I am!"

"Alright." The paper had the same bird skull logo and Dead Bird Studios in bold red words. "Where do you live, Ma'am?"

"Uh...."

"With us!," Hattie piped up.

"Alright." Under the words 'Billing Details' he wrote Red Head Human Woman and the adress Spaceship in the sky 1 6829 this planet, Invoice #: (insert random Owl Express Numbers), Invoice Date: Today, and Currency: Pons. After studying it for a bit he looked back down to the damaged thing with a hum. "Let's see. There was film so that counts under 'Distruping Studio Recordings' which comes to one hundred thousand pons." He wrote under the words 'You Will Be Billed For' as he spoke and looked at the damages caused. "One count of 'Penguin Harrassment' which is five hundred pons. Five cases of 'Owl Harrassment' for two thousand five hundred pons. 'Destruction of Property' oh definately for three thousand. And 'Tresspassing' for seven thousand."

Poppy could only stand there and let her eyes grow and widen in shock at the claims and how much pons this guy claimed she owed for such lunacy. ".......Tresspassing and harassment!? Of what kind?! I wasn't tresspassin' if I was invited in here!! And I wasn't harassing anyone!!''

"Ma'am. I'm only doing my job handling paperwork, and our insurance doesn't cover humans. The moment you stepped on property you became a liability and responisble for paying for any destruction you caused," he explained calmly as if he did this every day. He wrote one other thing down on the paper before holding it out for her. "You owe us one hundred thirteen thousand pons plus tax and another seven hundred fifty for the expensive high defintion camera to be replaced."

Poppy could only stare and not move at the paper held out to her with wide eyes and an open jaw like there was another cursed statue in front of her. After a moment, the recptionist carefully and calmly put the large bill in her hand and she finally reacted to the movement. with anger and a scowl. "WHY IS THIS SO EXPENSIVE!? I couldn't afford this even if I suddenly turned into solid gold like that roach did!!"

"Like I said, Ma'am. I'm only doing my job. If you like I could call the local court house of law, the lawyers there can assure you the paperwork and damages are all legal."

"Well I still can't PAY for it!.....What if I work off the debt instead? I'm a hard worker I promise."

"Well.....it wouldn't be the first time someone worked it off. But you'll have to speak with the two big bosses about it, not me I'm afraid."

"And they would be?"

"ME!!" She jumped and nearly dropped the paper when the Conductor scowled up at her with anger. "That was MY movie ye destrrrroyed with yer no good foolishness! If ye are gonna work it away ye better be ready to receive some hard work thrown at ye from meself!!''

".......No."

Silence. You could hear a pin drop as everyone in the studio of hearing range completely stopped what they were doing and turned their attention towards the scene before them with wide eyes. Completely shocked into silence as they all stared at the human alike. Penguins, Express Owls, the two children, and even both the directors seemed to be shocked into the dumb silence as they all gawked at the frowning red haired lady staring at the Conductor. THE CONDUCTOR!! NO ONE BUT DJ GROOVES HAD EVER SAID NO TO THE CONDUCTOR BEFORE!! (except Hattie that one time in the basement but we don't talk about that not that anyone outside of the little girl, and a few of her friends knew) But now it seemed everyone was too shocked seeing a new person say no to the famously hot headed owl. One owl staring completely let the script she was holding fall from her hands and land scattered at her feet as everyone watched jaws dropped. Eventually Confuctor was the one to break the awkward silence by what else, his famous yeling. "WOT!?," he shouted and stared at her. "An' why not?! Ye are the one who cost me mah raw footage! That was ten days of haarrrrrrd work I ain't nah gettin' back, Las!" The red head crossed her arms and didn't change her expression. "I know and I am terribly sorry I caused you so much trouble in that department. But I refuse to work with someone so rude and treats the employee's who's workin' hard trying to help him by calling them useless! Obviously you're a terrible boss who treats anyone helping him with no respect, and I would feel terrible! Being in one of your movies knowing that, Sir." The girls exchange silent shocked glances behind Poppy as she turned her head towards the damaged camera. "....If it's the material that I damaged I would gladly pay in anyway I can. But only on the basis you apologise to those you've wronged, Mr. Conductor. But don't you go thinkin' I'll do anything before I know I'll be treated with respect!" Conductor's. Jaw. DROPPED!! Obviously not used to anyone other than that ridiculous long time rival of his speaking to HIM. HIM!!! In such a brass and demanding manner and it took a moment for him to even process what she just said but in a moment his temper flared up in a moment's notice as those feathery appendages on his head wriggled and he pointed at the penguin director as the other fist clenched into a fist as he demanded. Mr. Grooves blinking surprised at the sudden action "Bu-Bu-Bu-BUT WHAT COULD BE SOOOO SPECIAL ABOUT 'EM DOWN RIGHT EYE SORE OF A SO CALLED MOVIE!? YE GARBAGE NEVER COULD GET OFF YE GROUND IF DJ GRRRRRROOOOVES HAD ALL ETERNITY AND BECAME PRRRRRRESIDENT OF YE BOX OFFICE!!" "That's not true! I actually saw one of his movies myself." "YE DID WOT!?" "You ...did?," Grooves shifted his funny glasses wearing face up towards her just as confused as the angry owl man. Poppy nodded. "Yes. I. Did. And to be perfectly honest, I didn't think it was that bad. In fact, it was really interesting. Maybe not the 'best' by bird standards, but by human standards the story was really easy to understand for someone who honestly doesn't really know a whole darn lot 'bout these fancy lights, or high tech stuff, or..." She waved a hand off shrugging. "Or whatever ratings are. And a struggling career was relatable for someone who's been struggling with a lot happening." Conductor was sputtering and made some kind of funny bird sqawking noise before some of the feathers around his collar ruffled up in rage and he jabbed a thumb at himself. "WELL MAH MOVIES ARE NOTHIN' TO SHY FROM EITHER, LASSIE!! RRRRESPECTIVELY THAT AYE AM THE ONE TO MAKE IT ON TOP ALL YE TIME!!" Her face frowned again as she looked down at the older bird with a harsher scowl. "MY respect, SIR, is earned. Not GIVEN! And so far you've done absolutely NOTHING to earn it! Yelling like a baby who didn't get their candy and throwing a fit is not the way to do that! You just come off to me as a spoiled old man who doesn't know the word no even existed!" "WHAT'S SO SPECIAL ABOUT THE BLOODY PECKNECK ANYWAYS!?," He demanded fuming. "If you can't respect him as your rival then the least you could do is respect him as another person in your profession. As far as I've seen he's been nothin' but polite and kind to everyone and considering he's not in mah face yellin' like a baby bird for his mama is somethin' I respect." With a huff of that sass Snatcher would've loved to see she closed her eyes, and turned her head away with her nose stuck up. "I will start RESPECTING you as an adult when you ACT like one and apologize and decide to stop throwing a tantrum and embarrassing yourself! Because the truth be told I think YOU'RE the only peckneck in this studio." More silence settled around the entire place as Conductor dropped his jaw and the only sound that came out of him was something that sounded like 'A-Ah...ah..ah ah ah.....' in a stuttery way. Hattie's eyes were wide and Bow's hands had come to cover her mouth in a dramatic way. If Snatcher was there, Hattie would have no doubt he would've started laughing loudly at the look on the old bird's face. In fact, she could almost hear it now. A deep rumbling chuckle-....But wait. Snatcher's voice wasn't deep? It was high and raspy. Then who was-... A cold flipper patted Poppy on the back making her hum and look next to her to find the afro wearing penguin chuckling...before laughing a deep but loud laugh that filled the room with an almost joyful mood. That seemed to snap the Conductor from his trance and glared in the laughing penguin's direction. After a moment, Mr. Grooves stopped and turned his gaze up to Poppy with a smile. "Darling! I never could've said that any better than how you did!" He patted her back again. "You know. I like you already, Darling. My little stars usually have great taste in character and I see they didn't spare any expense in making another darling friend. What did you say your name was again?" ......She blinked but smiled at the happy moon penguin politely. "Poppy Rose Bloomington. You can call me Poppy, Mr. Grooves." Grooves hummed for a moment looking at her up and down for a moment before turning to the glaring Conductor and the broken camera lying a few feet away in pieces. "Was that footage really that important to you Conductor, Darlin'?" "OF COURSE IT WAS YOU PE-" "There's children here." Conductor's feathery appendeges went back as he growled. "YES! It was half me movie! It cannae be so simply replaced with the secret idea I was goin' for! All the time I spent on it cannae be replaced in time of the award ceremony!" The penguin hummed and brought his other flipper up to rub the bottom of his beak staring at the camera with a thoughtful expression...before looking back up to Poppy. "I'm afraid he's right, Darlin. I've known Conductor long enough to know one thing he never does is lie about his movies, even if he does brag while doing so in such a rude manor." "HMPH!! OF COURSE I DONAE!!" Grooves just rolled his eyes. "Even so, I think we should help him." "YE WOT!?" Conductor glanced surprised at the penguin like he won the trophy all of a sudden. "What kind of nonsense are ye blabbering about now?" Grooves turned to him staring, before tilting his head down wear his sunglass slid down enough to reveal some of his eyes in a deadpanned expression. "Believe it or not, Darling, I don't like unfair advantages." Conductor just stared blankly at him. " But I'm sure my little stars here could help out with anything you may need." Bow lit up with a smile. "Yeah! I'd love to help!" "Don't you have a back up plan like you usually do?" "Of course Ah do! I ain't no dummy." "Well, there you go, Darling." He reached up to push his glasses back into place. "I'm sure you'll put together something spectacular like you always do." "......B-B-But..What are the damages!? Ye camera cost the studio over a thousand pons! I cannae just look past that!," he argued back pointing at the shattered thing. And Grooves hummed again. "I'm afraid you're right about that too. Frankly, these kinds of ones aren't too easily to come across."........In a moment he smiled and looked up to Poppy. "I know! She can work for me as payment for those damages." Poppy blinked with a surprised expression as did most of everyone else but at the thought of Poppy being in a movies both young girls suddenly looked even more excited. Conductor on the other hand- "ABABABABABA!! Hang on a pecking second! THE LASS WORK FOR YE FOR DAMAGING MAH FILM?!" "I-I AM?!," Poppy asked whirling wide eyed to the moon penguin director. "Yes. Cuz quick frankly it might've been your film, but it was on OUR shared expensive studio high definition camera, Darling. She can easily pay off any debt she owes for the camera and your footage by working and her pay going to the repairs and reienbursment for any misguided accidents." The Conductor growled again and went to probably argue some more- "Tick tock, Darling. You don't want to waste anytime fighting when there's a deadline to meet. It looks like you'll be needing to step up your game." "MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!! FINE!!" The tiny bird man turned and began stomping away towards the owl's side of the studio. "WHAT ARE ALL YE LOOKING AT!? SOMEONE BRING ME MAH BACK UP SCRIPT!! CHANGE THE SETS TO OUTSIDE SCHEDUALED!! SOMEONE INFORRRRRRM THE OTHER'S WE'RE GOIN' WITH PLAN B THIS YEAR!!! AND SOMEONE GET THAT SMASHED HUNK O' JUNK CLEANED UP!!" The owl's scrambled to grab anything they needed to grab and quickly follow the fuming bird boss as DJ Grooves chuckled and shook is head. "Don't feel too bad about the Conductor, Darling. He's usually all talk and no bite." Hattie giggled. "Yeah! He's a crazy, grumpy grandpa!" Both Grooves and Bow chuckled at Hattie's description of the old bird, but none of them noticed frozen and mildly panicked form. Her?! In a movie?! Where millions of people could see her?! WHAT HAD SHE GOTTEN HERSELF INTO NOW?!

[thewalkingdead-fan101]

In This Hell Daryl Dixon x Reader part 8/??

Hey guys!  I’m so excited to post part 8!  I’m sorry about such a large gap in between parts, I'm currently trying to figure out a schedule for posting parts. I hope you're all safe and well. Thank you for being patient and so lovely!

Warnings- Slow burn, Light smut?, General Walking Dead stuff, Blood, Gore, Swearing, Shane being sus.

The drive home seemed shorter than the drive there, passing the familiar mailboxes and other run down buildings.

The minute we arrived back, Shane left to speak with Rick, furthering their search for Sophia.

I started grabbing the Medical supplies that we had found scattered throughout the houses and took them into the farm house.

I knocked on the wooden doorframe, waiting for someone to answer, Patricia’s head popping around the corner.

“Good morning (Y/n).” “Morning, I just thought that since we’re all low on supplies that I would bring you some stuff. Shane and I went out this morning and came across all of this medical stuff, even found a full first aid kit.” I chuckled as she opened the door, stepping aside for me.

“Oh thank you, just sit it all on the dining table.” She smiled, grabbing one of the bags from me, leading the way through the house into the dining room.

“Did you guys find much?” “We found some things, a bunch of medical stuff as you can see, some food, which is in that green bad, and some gardening stuff that ill take out to the barn now.” I smiled.

“No!” She paused, my head turning to look at her. She cleared her throat before continuing. 

“Don’t take them to the barn.”

I opened my mouth to speak, but not before she cut me off again.

“It’s too far from the house, not to mention the barn needs some repairs. I’d feel absolutely horrible if I let you go up there and get hurt. We have a little garden shed out back I can put them in.” She stated, walking with me to the car, grabbing the equipment out, briefly making eye contact and sharing a soft smile. 

“Are you sure? I honestly don’t mind.”

“I’m sure, now it’s best if you go sit down for a bit.”

“Pat-“

“Go on, get away.” She swatted softly.

 I shook my head as I backed away.

“It’s hardly fair that you guys do everything around here.” I try to argue.

“If you doing nothing around here protects gods little miracle, I do not mind. Now, go sit down and relax for a couple of hours.” She gave me a warning glare that had reminded me of my 5th grade teacher Ms. Gabel.

“Yes Ma’am.” I nodded, turning away from her and made my way towards the RV.

As the majority of the group were discussing the upcoming gun practice at the rear of the RV, I noticed Carl and Shane talking.

Shane looked Carl up and down, as if questioning him, and nodded his head.

I noticed the small movement and my breath stopped.

He had slightly raised his shirt, Shane’s eyes doubling in size. 

And that’s when it hit me.

This is a new world we live in.

A world in which to survive we have to fight.

Fight for yourself, your friends, your family, your people.

Shane barely even blinked. 

I picked up speed, my legs carrying me as fast as they could to the RV.

“Give me that now.” Shane firmly stated.

Once the gun was handed to Shane, he stormed off to the others, no doubt taking it to Rick.

Carl stood, staring at the ground.

“Hey, Carl..” I spoke softly, placing my hand on his shoulder.

“Let’s sit down, you can talk to me.” 

He nodded his head as he walked with me to where the camping chairs were set out.

I took the seat next to him, slightly turning to face him. “What was that about?” “What?” “Carl.. why did you have a gun.” “I just wanted to help..” “I understand, but guns are dangerous.. You shouldn’t have had it.” “I know.” “You do know that your parents are going to flip?.”

He nodded his head and resumed staring at the dirt beneath his feet.

I looked up to see Shane, Dale and Rick staring at Carl, making their way to the boy.

“(Y/n), can you get Lori for me? We need to speak to Carl.” Rick asked, nodding in my direction.

“Yeah.. of course.” I nodded, turning and starting the search for Lori.

The first place I had checked, the fire pit where she and Glenn were earlier showed no results.

I made my way to where the chicken coop was, to be met with the clucking of the hens, but again no Lori.

I checked her tent, to see her sitting on the mattress, head in her hands.

“Hey.” I spoke, moving the door to the side.

“Oh, Hey Honey.” She smiled. “Are you okay?” “Yeah, Im fine, just a little tired. Whats up?” 

“It’s Carl.”

She stood quickly, worry present in her eyes.

“What? What’s wrong? Where is my boy?”

“He is okay, he isn’t hurt.. Rick asked me to come get you..” “What? Rick asked you to get me? Whats going on?” “Carl had a gun.”

Her eyes widened, her left hand going to her mouth.

“Oh God… im going to be sick.” She shook her head

She paused briefly. 

“Where are they?” 

“”They’re at the RV.” 

“Let’s go.” She stated, grabbing my wrist and dragging me behind her.

She cleared the distance between the tents and the RV in no time.

Letting my wrist go when she got within earshot of everyone, walking straight over to Carl, taking the gun from Shane and showing it to Carl.

“Where did you get this?” She asked sternly as she kneeled in front of the boy.

She waited for an answer.

“Carl Grimes. You answer me.” 

She stood up, turning to us.

“How the hell did this happen?” She asked, tucking the gun into the back of her jeans.

“Well, It's my fault.” Dale began, slightly pausing as Lori’s attention snapped to the older man. 

“I let him into the RV. He said he wanted a walkie, that you sent him for one.” Dale continued.

“So on top of everything else, he lied.” She began. 

“What was he thinking?”

“He wants to learn how to shoot. He asked me to teach him.” Shane started, earning an ice filled glare from Lori.

“Now It's none of my business, but I'm happy to do it. It's your call.” He nodded, sensing the tension.

“I'm not comfortable with it.” Lori looked towards Rick, who tried to avert his gaze.

“Oh, don't make me out to be the unreasonable one here. Rick?”

“I know. I have my concerns too, but-“

“There's no but. He was just shot. He's just back on his feet and he wants a gun?”

“Better than him being afraid of 'em. There are guns in camp for a reason. He should learn to handle them safely.” Rick responded to his wife’s worries.

“I don't want my kid walking around with a gun.” She shook her head.

“But how can you defend that? You can't let him go around without protection.” 

“He is as safe as he'll ever be right now.” She started.

“Look, everything you're saying makes perfect sense. It feels wrong. I mean I didn't feel good about him following you out into the woods. And I wish I'd said something. I should've gone with my gut.” She argued.

“He's growing up, thank god. We've got to start treating him more like an adult.” Rick tried to reason. 

“Then he needs to act like one. He's not mature enough to handle a gun.”

“I'm not gonna play with it, mom. It's not a toy. I'm sorry I disappointed you, but I want to look for Sophia and I want to defend our camp. I can't do that without a gun.” Carl stood and walked toward us.

“Shane's the best instructor I know. I've seen him teach kids younger than Carl.” 

“He will be with Shane. He loves that boy and wouldn’t let him get hurt.” 

Lori looked at me and I could tell that even though the thought of Carl having this gun terrifies her, but him not having one in this world terrifies her even more.

She waited a few moments and walked to Carl, resting her hand under his chin, making him look up at her.

“You will take this seriously and you will behave responsibly. And if I hear from anyone in this camp that you're not living up to our expectations-“

“He won't let you down.” Rick stated clearly behind her.

Carl nodded at Rick and answered with a “yeah.”

The sound of the old blue truck pulled up next to us, Beth, Patricia and Jimmy all inside.

“Now if you're gonna do this, you listen to Shane.”

“Okay, dad.” 

“All right? You two be careful.” Rick pointed at Shane and Carl.

“You coming?” Shane asked Glenn.

Glenn shook his head.

“I gotta help Dale clean the spark plugs on the RV. He said he's gonna teach me mechanics. I should probably go look for him.”

“You found me.” Dale called out from two metres behind him, startling Glenn. 

Shane nodded and got in the car, starting it.

“He's a good learner.” Dale called out.

I moved towards the car, getting in with Shane, watching as Lori, Rick, Carol, Carl and Andrea piled into the Cherokee. 

T-dog jumping in wi†h Shane and I, as we made our way to a neighbouring farm’s paddock, distancing the gunshots from the Greene farm.

The sound of breaking glass, and the metallic ricochet of bullets hitting the tins and bottles that were sitting in a perfect row on the boundary fence line.

The loud echoes of the gunshots leaving my ears ringing, the slight scent of gunpowder present in the air.

Rick and Shane pacing behind us all, ensuring that we were all practicing gun safety.

T-dog, partnered with Jimmy, who needs as much help as he can get.

Jimmy was holding his gun as if he had just come from a bad adaption of a 90’s gangsta movie.

“Hey, come on, man. Don't give me that gangsta shit.” T-dog stated.

Jimmy, stood up, straightening his posture, moving his free hand to help support the gun, shooting and finally hitting his target.

His face lighting up as if he had just won an award, a participation award, but an award none the less.

 Shane gave him a pat on the back as he passed him.

“Did you see that? I hit it!” He exclaimed turning to T.

I watched as my brother zoned in on Andrea, stopping next to her and looking to where she was shooting, through his binoculars.

Helping her change her posture before letting her shoot again, which she hit the target perfectly.

Shane and Rick shared a laugh, and some small talk before continuing the pacing.

Lori was planted a metre behind Carl, watching him shoot, hitting the tin off the fence.

“Got it.” Carl smiled widely.

“That's a great shot!” Rick smiled back at him.

I look over to where Beth was aiming at her target, slightly missing it.

“Hey.” “Oh hey.” “Would you like some help?” “Um, I think im not doing it right.” “Oh, no, it’s fine, here.”

I moved to where she was and helped position her arms.

“Dont be scared, of the gun. You’re in control.” I paused.

“Just breathe, take your time. There’s nothing to be nervous about.”

She visibly relaxed and pulled the trigger, the glass bottle exploding.

I looked over to see her eyes closed.

“Beth. You did it. You hit the bottle.” “What? I did?” She asked opening her eyes and looking to where the bottle once sat.

“I hit it! I actually hit it!” She beamed.

“Thank you!” She jumped on me, hugging me tightly.

“You’re welcome.” I laughed.

“What about you (Y/n)? You a good shot?” Rick asked.

“I was once.” I nodded.

“She had the best teacher.” Shane smiled.

“Yeah. Grandma.” I jeered.

“Oh really? Mind showing us?” Lori laughed. “No-“ “She wasn’t the strongest shooter, she probably forgot.” Shane shook his head laughing.

I grabbed the gun from Shane’s holster and shot three targets in a row, the sound of shattering glass echoing beyond the gun.

“Where’d that come from?” Shane asked as I handed him the gun back. “I told you. Grandma.” I smiled as Lori held in a small chuckle.

“Yeah, Yeah. Let’s go then.” Shane shook his head.

“Sure showed him.” Lori chuckled.

“Shane needs to be put in his place. I never had a strong shooting arm when I was a kid. Shane never tried to teach me after he realised. Grandma took it upon herself to teach me. Always said that a woman should always know how to defend herself.” “Well, your grandma was a smart woman.” Rick smiled, leading his wife and son to the car. 

Everyone following in pursuit, getting into the same vehicles that had transported them from the Greene farm.

I got in the car, and looked at Shane.

“Is there any other things that Grandma showed you?”

“The secret recipe of her butternut squash pie.”

“Is that all?” He laughed.

“Yeah.. yeah I think thats pretty much it.”

“That pie sounds good right about now.” T-dog chuckled.

“Maybe Hershel might let me commandeer the kitchen.”

Shane had pulled the car over.

T-dog, jumping straight out in search for Dale and Glenn.

“Get out.” “What?” “Get out. Andrea and I are going for some more target practice.” “Oh is that what we’re calling it now? Target practice?” “Shut it. Now get out.”

“Alright. But please please please make sure that you wrap it before you tap it.” “(Y/n)-“

“No glove, no love.” “Seriously-“

“Plug your funnel then enter the tunnel.” “What does that one even mean?”

“If im being honest I don’t even know. But It’s on the same line as the others.”

“Seriously get out now.”

“Alright, alright. Calm down.” I raised my hands and opened the door, sliding out and closing it, putting my head through the open window. “Shane.” “What?”

“Love is cleaner with a packaged Weiner.” I laughed.

“Goodbye.” He muttered through his teeth.

I took a step back from the car, watching as he moved to where Andrea was waiting, letting her hop in and then taking off down the dirt road towards the gate again.

I laughed to myself as I made my way towards the RV and the others.

“Whats so funny?” Carol asked smiling.

“Nothing, just thought of a joke. Do you need a hand?” I chuckled.

“Sure, sit down and I’ll show you how.” She smiled.

I knelt next to her, watching as she continued patching holes in clothes for us.

Her work perfect.

“How did you get it to look so good?” “Years of practice. Ed used to come home after going to the bar in a mess, clothes torn and bloody from fighting earlier in the night.”

She paused, taking a breath.

“He used to say that it was my job to fix the mess and clean it.”

“Carol-“ “Oh no honey, im fine.” She smiled once more.

I nodded.

Carol and I sat for an hour and a half, her teaching me different stitches and when the best use for each one.

“Alright guys, foods ready.” Dale called out.

I stood up, and walked over to Dale, who had two plates set aside, handing them to me.

“I figured that you’d be hungry, Daryl would be too.” “Thank you Dale.” “Go on, go eat. Make sure He eats too or we will all be insufferable.”

I nodded my head and chuckled, turning around and heading towards the farm house.

“Hey (Y/n).” Maggie smiled as she walked down the front steps.

“Hey.” “Glenn and I are going for a supply run, im going to keep an eye out for any pre-natal vitamins for you. Is there anything you’re after?” “Oh thank you, not that I can think of.” “Okay, well, Daryls upstairs, I think he might be asleep, but head on up.” She smiled.

“Thank you.” I smiled as she continued past me.

I made my way up and into the Greene family home, and up those familiar steps that lead me to Daryls room.

I softly pushed the door open and walked in, smiling as I see Daryl sit himself up.

“Where have ya’ been all day?” He asked

“I, have been everywhere today it seems, Shane and I went on a supply run this morning.”

“Ya’ did what?”

“Daryl-“ “I don’t want ya’ out there. Why would he take ya’ out?” “He didn’t take me, I took him. Technically. But it was smooth, no near death experiences to report.” I smiled softly.

“Dale cooked whatever, this is for us. It smells good though.” I chuckled handing him a plate.

He took the plate and picked up the food, biting away at it.

“Quit ya’ starin’.” He spoke through a mouthful.

“Or what?” I challenged, taking a bite from the food.

He shook his head as a light pink blush rose on his cheeks.

“Are you blushing?” I grinned, watching as he finished eating.

He grabbed his plate and moved it to the side, grabbing mine from my hand and placing it on his own.

“Hey! I wasn’t finished- “ 

“C’mere.” He muttered, reaching over, pulling me onto his lap.

“Daryl.. what are you trying to do?” “I’m tryin’ to finish what ya’ started.” “Oh, what I started?” I grinned, my hands resting on his shoulders.

“Mhmm” he nodded.

“If I remember correctly, it was you, that initiated this.” “Was it?” He smirked.

I nodded my head.

“Guess im gonna finish it too.” He stated, bringing his hand to the back of my neck, pulling me in for a kiss.

I smiled into the kiss, both of my hands made their way to the sides of his face, cupping his stubbled cheeks.

His hands moving down to my thighs, picking me up and laying me back.

I pulled away from his lips and smiled up at him.

“What?” He muttered.

“Nothing.” I shook my head softly, bringing his face back down to mine.

Daryl’s hands roamed freely over my body, sending shivers coursing down my spine.

I shivered against Daryl, earning a low chuckle from him.

Once Daryl had fallen asleep, I got dressed and took the plates downstairs for cleaning.

I left the farm house, making my way to our little camp.

Washing up the two plates in the tub we had set aside I left the two to air dry.

“I was wondering where you’d run off to.” Lori spoke up as she exited her tent.

“I just gave Daryl his lunch.” I smiled, getting off the ground.

“Thats not all you gave him.” I could hear the smirk in her voice without even turning to look at her.

I smiled and turned to face her.

“I don’t know what it is you’re implying Lori.” 

“Sure you don’t.” She grinned.

“How else would your shirt be inside out.” 

I looked down and laughed, quickly stripping my shirt off and flipping it the right way in.

“Lucky it was only me.” She laughed, patting my back.

“Ill give you a hand.” I smiled motioning to the laundry that needed folding.

We laughed and joked for about 15 minutes as we folded, the clothes.

The creak of the side paddock gate gained the attention of both Lori and I.

We looked up to see Maggie storming through, Glenn hot on her heels.

“Hey! We got your stuff.” Maggie called out.

“Maggie, hang on, please.” Glenn called after her.

Lori looked around, seeing who else was out.

Then she looked at me.

“Come on in here.” Lori tried softly, gesturing to her tent.

“Why? Nothing to hide. We got your special delivery right here.” Maggie started.

“We got your lotion, got your conditioner, your soap opera digest.” She named each item before throwing it to the floor.

“Maggie..” Lori tried.

“Hey, Maggie, calm down. What-“ I tried to reason.

“Next time you want something, get it your damn self. We're not your errand boys.” 

“Honey, I-“

“And here's your abortion pills.” She threw a small blue box at Lori, storming off, Glenn and Lori sharing a look before he followed Maggie.

“Lori?” I asked softly as she stood there in silence.

“Honey, I can explain.” “You don’t need to explain anything to me.” I stated bringing her in for a hug.

“I just wish you’d have told me.. we could’ve talked about it.” I rubbed her back. 

“I just don’t know what to do. I haven’t told Rick yet. I’m not going to until I know what I’m going to do.” She paused.

“Does that make me a bad wife?” She asked.

“No. It makes you a cautious one, and thats not a bad thing considering what’s happened in the last few months.”

“You have no idea how good it feels now that you know.” She softly laughed.

“I’d say it’d be a whole lot less stressful.” I laughed with her as we sat on the small stools near the table in the tent. 

The little blue box holding the attention of both Lori and myself.

“Whatever you decide to, I’m here to support you.” I whispered placing my hand on her own.

She grabbed my hand and looked over to me, a thankful smile on her face.

A slight movement from the corner of my eye caught my attention, to see Glenn appear at the tents doorway.

“I’ll leave you guys to it.. just come get me if you need anything.” 

“Thank you honey.” She hugged me.

“I’ll see you later Glenn.” I smiled, softly patting him on the back.

“Yeah, see you.” He nodded as I made my way through the tents door.

The familiar green car came into view and pulled up by the RV.

I couldn’t help but chuckle as I noticed the light flush on Andrea’s face as she climbed out of the car.

I made eye contact with Shane, him rolling his eyes as he noticed the small smirk on my face, continuing his walk to Carol and Dale.

“Anything?” Carol was the first to speak.

“Not today.” Shane shook his head.

“I’m so sorry. We'll cover more ground tomorrow.” Andrea sympathised with her at least.

Andrea was covered in more grime and dirt than what she had left in, signalling that they’d run into some sort of trouble whilst out.

“What happened out there?” Dale asked looking her up and down.

“Um, I-“ Andrea was cut off before she could even finish her sentence.

“The place was overrun.” Shane said far too quickly.

“Yeah.” Andrea agreed, sharing a look with my brother.

“Let's go get you clean up.” Carol motioned towards Andrea, pulling me along with them.

“(Y/n), you coming?” “Yeah, i’ll catch up, just got to grab Andrea a towel.” I smiled running into the small share tent, grabbing one of the towels.

I turned to leave, but overheard Dale call out to Shane.

“Shane.” “Shane, I was thinking, you've got that nice new ride of yours, plenty of fuel, more than enough for you to get far from here.” Dale began.

I furrowed my brows, not understanding where Dale is coming from.

“What, you telling me to leave?” Shane asked, annoyance clear in his voice.

“I know you've been planning to. Maybe now is a good time.” Dale responded.

Shane scoffed before laughing.

“Is this about Andrea?” He asked.

“I’m looking out for the group.”

“You think the group would be better off without me, Dale? My sister would be better off? Why don't you tell that to Rick or Lori? Their boy would be dead if I hadn't put my ass on the line.” Shane argued.

“And Otis's. You've been vague about that night, about what happened.”

“Otis died a hero.” Shane stated smugly.

“So you've said.”

“A little boy lived because of what went down that night. I think you ought to show some gratitude.” Shane sneered

“I wasn't there.” Dale responded.

“No, man, you weren’t.” Shane agreed, clearly angry.

“But I was the time that you raised your gun on Rick.” My hand instantly covered my mouth as I had heard what Dale had said.

“Come on. Jesus.”

“You had him in your sights and you held him there. I know what kind of man you are.” Dale continued.

I heard a sigh, the same one that I’ve heard my entire life, the one that Shane used to use when he was caught in something.

Shane stayed silent for a moment before speaking once more.

“You think I'd shoot Rick? That is my best friend. That's the man that I love. I love him like he's my brother. You think that's the kind of man I am?”

“That's right.” Dale answered.

“Well, maybe we ought to just think that through. Say I'm the kind of man who'd gun down his own best friend. What do you think I'd do to some guy that I don't even like when he starts throwing accusations my way? What do you think?” Shane threatened before retreating.

My stomach was in knots, knowing that my brother isn’t the man I knew.

I heard the footsteps retreat and decided to give myself a moment.

I took a deep breath, and shook my head softly.

As I took a step out of the tent, gasping when someone spoke.

“How much of that did you hear?”

Series Masterlist Next Part

[illuxions-x]

A Little Death

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I’m not sure just a little story concept I came up with at 3 am and ran with. enjoy.

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Nothing this bad was supposed to happen here. Ever.

It wasn’t me who came up with the idea of writing everything down. I can’t remember who did, but as soon as it was mentioned everyone else seemed to like the idea too.

 I'm not sure what they expect me to write exactly, but I was voted the most capable to do so out of everyone, which of course I disagree with but I don’t really hate the idea of documenting this. So if no one else will I guess it can’t hurt to give it a crack.

Eva had to dig around her room for a couple minutes to find a journal, which she must have forgotten she had because there were no more than four small sketches we had to rip out for the book to be completely empty.

I tried sitting in the living room to write, I thought maybe being around everyone would give me more inspiration to write but all that happened was everyone decided to crowd around me, all staring at the blank paper in anticipation as though whatever I wrote would impact the universe forever. I couldn’t stand it, how do they expect me to write with them hovering over me like that.

There is a reason why I was the one chosen though, because even though I have the messiest handwriting that absolutely no one can read, I'm good with getting down the small things, like the feelings. 

But I want anyone reading this to know that this is me writing about my feelings and my feelings only, not Eva’s and not Noah’s. My feelings, my experiences. That's the only way this is going to work.

The only one out of all 9 of us that lived out of town was Eva, a sweet farm girl that likes to bake. We’re all lucky to be friends with her, I’m not sure if we would even be alive if we didn’t have a place out of town to stay. 

I’ll be forever grateful to Eva for that.

I found a spot on the balcony, kind of huddled up in the corner. I even brought a blanket to make sure I didn’t get cold.

It's a nice spot, the balcony is where I usually have a smoke in the morning, usually with  warm tea and a book every now and then. The deck squeaks wherever you step and the railings are slowly rotting away, someone will probably have to fix them soon before one of us ends up falling over the edge.

There isn’t much to do here though, everyone kind of just sits around when they’re not on watch. A few people have just finished building a garden on the roof but we need to make a small trip to a house to get seeds because I don’t think anyone thought we would even get this far ahead.

The view is nice here, the property has a bunch of gum trees surrounding it which gives us just a little bit more cover, but god do the kookaburras get loud in the morning, I honestly don’t think I’ve slept in past 7 or 8 am in months. 

There’s a creek a couple hundred meters from ‘the shack’. That’s what we’ve nicknamed Eva’s, it fits pretty well too. The house is pretty run down, been here a couple decades but I think it’s the perfect place to hideout.

I know I should be writing about other things, but I feel like I have to set the scene or maybe if you’re reading this you’ve already skipping my monologue and gotten to the actual beginning, which hasn’t been written yet but it’s probably there for you. 

Hopefully.

It’s been pretty boring here the last few weeks, and this has been the best idea anyone's had in a while. I feel a little guilty I have to admit, Noah seemed to really like the idea of writing everything down and I could tell he secretly wanted to be the one writing. He is a good writer too, he hasn’t said anything yet and I doubt he will.

He’s too nice to say anything, so it will probably eat away at him until he either decides to write his own version, or forget about it and do something else.

Noah is a sweetheart really, but he wasn't with us from the very beginning, he came a little bit later, so I guess it made sense that he wasn't the one chosen.

There's not much more to now than to get into the ‘story’, I’m not really sure how to do it so I’m going to start in the beginning and work my way from there to now, which should be fine if my memory is working fine.

I’m going to start in Psychology class, double period on a Friday, God it feels like a lifetime since I’ve been in a classroom and it's not like I ever hated school, it's just a bit of you don't know what you have until it's gone.

By the start of the second session an announcement was made over the loudspeaker, the principle calling a lockdown. This was odd for more than one reason.

The first being this is Australia, everyone doesn’t walk around with guns freely. The second is I haven’t had a real lockdown since grade 3 when some crackhead walked into school with a cricket bat trying to hit tiny fairies.

So we all just assumed it was a drill, even the teacher did. That was at least until Mrs Reece got an email.

I remember her asking the class who had gotten the COVID vaccine, at least half the class put their hands up, a couple of them being my friends, Ellie Newton, Emily Jackson, Jake Cross and Lucas Walker.

They were taken out of the class by some other teacher, I can't remember his name but he taught P.E which I didn’t do, obviously. He had a whole group of kids with him, saying anyone that was vaccinated had to go to the gym immediately, so when everyone left there weren't many people in the room-no more than 15 year 11’s.

But I never saw that group of people again.

It only took a couple minutes and the remaining people were moved to the second gym, the old one that we only used when the new one was being used for something else. I just remember it being full of students who were all crowded in small groups all as clueless as we were.

The remaining 500 or so people of all year levels were told to sit, they set up the projector and started playing the news. I remember saying something to Sarah next to me along the lines of, ‘wow all this for the queen finally dying’. It was funny at the time I promise.

But instead of showing the royal family the screen showed people running around the city in what I can only describe as anarchy, cars were on fire and there were just bodies laying there on the road like roadkill.

It didn’t take long for someone to say it though, we were waiting for someone to shout it.

‘Zombie Apocalypse!’

I still get shivers even now, thinking about how quickly everything changed.

The news broadcast explained that the only people that were infected currently were people who got the vaccine, and it only took a few moments for things to click in my brain.

Everyone else in my family got the vaccine except me, Mum and Mad got theirs so they could go back to work, and my younger sister had to get hers done to be accepted back at kindergarten.

Not to mention the vaccine wasn’t cheap, $40 per dose. So I decided I could live without it for an extra week to two to make sure we had enough money for bills and food.

Maybe my parents being broke was what saved my life.

Then the police came and told us we couldn’t leave, which only made me want to leave even more. I felt trapped while my family was at home turning into mindless brain eaters.

I guess that was where our plan began, none of us wanted to stay there in the old gym that smelled too much like sweaty socks. The plan wasn’t even that good, we only got out by dumb luck that 10 police officers couldn’t keep tabs on everyone.

So we all went to  the toilets a couple minutes apart from each other, climbing out of the small window. It was a miracle we all even fit.

I don’t know what happened to the kids that stayed in that gym, but I haven’t seen another kid from school since that day, well not alive at least.

[winchesterbrotherstan]

SPN- Bloodlust (2.03)

Pairing: Olive Winchester (OC)

Summary: While investigating a case, the siblings run across someone from a familiar background. Dean clicks right away, but Sam and Olive are weary. Chaos ensues.

Warnings: blood (lol duh), fighting, choking, idk writing part of this made me sad but i did it for the ~drama~

Word Count: 6078

“Whoo! Listen to her purr!” Dean turned to Sam and I with a huge grin. “Have you ever heard anything so sweet?”

I giggled, overjoyed to see him so happy. He had fixed Baby up, and she looked better than when Dad gave her to us.

“You know, if you two wanna get a room, just let me know, Dean.” Sam teased.

Dean shook his head, the smile still on his face. “Oh, don’t listen to him, Baby. He doesn’t understand us.”

I giggled again, and Sam laughed.

“You two are in good moods.”

I shrugged. “I’m happy that Dean’s happy.”

Dean grinned and leaned over to press a quick kiss to my forehead.

“Got my car, got my baby siblings, got a case. Things are looking up.”

“Wow.” Sam scoffed playfully. “You hear a couple of severed heads and a pile of dead cows and you’re Mr. Sunshine.”

Dean laughed. “How far to Red Lodge?”

“Uh, about another three hundred miles.” Sam threw an arm over the back of the seats.

Dean grinned wider. “Good.”

                                                           ***

“Why do I have to stay in the car?” I whined.

“Because I said so.” Dean frowned back.

I sighed. “I didn’t have to stay in the car on other hunts.”

He sighed again. “I know, kid, but you don’t seem like a reporter when it’s the three of us.”

“It’s not even like I can play with Jinx. Sitting in a car is boring.” I huffed.

Jinx was still at Bobby’s. She was going to stay another week before we picked her up, since she loved his house and he loved her.

“Then say I’m your daughter and you couldn’t find a babysitter!” I begged, chin resting on the windowsill.

He huffed, then looked at Sam. Sam shrugged.

“It’s not that far off.”

He sighed again. “Fine. Fine, but you’re Sam’s kid. Come on.”

                                                          ***

“The murder investigation is ongoing, and that’s all I can share with the press at this time.”

I was sitting in a chair across from the sheriff’s open door. Sam and Dean were in suits and ties. They were reporters today, and I was Sam’s teenage kid. I could see Sam and Dean from my spot, but not the sheriff. He sure as hell sounded ridiculous though, which proved enough entertainment for me.

“Sure, sure, we understand that.” Sam nodded. “But just for the second, you found the first, uh… head… last week, correct?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, and the other victim, a uh, Christina Flanigan…”

“That was two days ago. Is there-”

There was a knock on the open door, and the blond girl pointed at her watch.

“Oh. Sorry, gentlemen, but time’s up. Looks like we’re done here.”

“One last question-”

“Yeah, what about the cattle?” Dean cut Sam off.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and stayed silent, eyes closed.

“Excuse me?”

“You know, the cows found dead, split open, drained… over a dozen cases.” Dean reminded him.

“What about them?”

Dean gave Sam a look, and I cleared my throat. Sam was quick to save Dean.

“You don’t think there’s a connection?”

“Connection? With?”

“First cattle mutilations, now two murders? Kinda sounds like ritualistic stuff.”

“You know, like satanic cult ritualistic.” Dean’s eyebrows rose.

The sheriff laughed. “You…” He stopped laughing upon seeing that Sam and Dean were completely serious. “You’re not kidding.”

“No.” Dean shook his head with a sickly sweet smile that soon faded.

“Those cows aren’t being mutilated. You wanna know how I know?”

“How?” Sam instantly shot back.

“Because there’s no such thing as cattle mutilation. Cow drops, leave it in the sun, within forty eight hours the bloat will split it open so clean it’s just about surgical. The bodily fluids fall down into the ground and get soaked up because that’s what gravity does. But hey, it could be satan.” He scoffed. “What newspaper did you say you worked for?”

Sam and Dean both cleared their throats, but Dean beat him to it. “World Weekly News.”

“Weekly World News.” Sam corrected.

“World… I’m new.” He chuckled.

The sheriff snorted. “Get out of my office.”

                                                          ***

“Dean, I’ve been in a morgue before.” I whined.

“Yeah, I don’t care. You’re staying in the car, where it’s safe.”

I scoffed. “Safe from what? A dead guy?”

“Olive.” He was serious. “This is not up for debate. You are staying in the car. Do you understand me?”

I nodded. “Yeah.” I sighed. “Be careful. Please.”

He smiled and ducked his head back in through the car window. “Love you, sweetpea.”

“Love you too. Bye, Sammy.”

“Bye, bug, be back soon.”

                                                          ***

The boys slunk into the car with matching looks on their faces.

“What happened?” I sat up.

Dean huffed and Sam shook his head.

“We got something weird on our hands, Ol.”

“Like what?”

Dean glanced at me in the rearview. “Vamps.”

“Hey, Ollie, you got your fake ID on you?”

I grinned as I flashed it. “Always.”

                                                          ***

“How’s it going?” Dean asked as we sat down at the bar.

“Living the dream. What can I get for you?”

“Two beers and a water, please.”

The bartender snorted and I smiled. “Someone’s gotta be able to drive.”

“So, we’re looking for some people.” Sam started.

“Sure. Hard to be lonely.”

Sam smiled. “Yeah, but um…” He pulled out a fifty and stretched it out before dropping it on the bar. “That’s not what I meant.”

The bartender pocketed it and slid us our drinks.

“Right, so these… these people. They would’ve moved here about six months ago. Probably pretty rowdy, like to drink… real night owls, ya know? Sleep all day, party all night.” I took a sip.

“Barker farm got leased out a couple months ago. Real winners. They’ve been in here a lot. Drinkers, noisy. I’ve had to 86 them once or twice.”

The boys and I looked at each other. That was all we needed. I got a feeling in the pit of my stomach and latched onto Dean’s arm.

“Thanks.” He smiled and stood.

“What is it, sweetheart?” He asked, casual.

“We’re being watched.” I said through a smile.

Sam heard me and nodded, pushing Dean to lead so he could bring up the rear. We slunk across the floor and slipped out the back door.

“Alright, I’ll be the bait.” I whispered as I popped to my toes and pressed a kiss to Dean’s cheek.

I didn’t give him time to protest it as I slipped into the back alley, leaving them to hide in the shadows. I could hear the man’s footsteps as he followed after me. I stopped at the alley way’s dead end and turned, gun trained between his eyes. It was one of the men that had been sitting in the bar.

“Can I help you?”

He turned to run, and Sam and Dean popped out of their places. Sam pinned him to the wall with a fierce look on his face, and Dean’s knife was at his throat. I put the gun back in my waistband and walked over, feeling like a total badass even though my brothers were doing all the work.

I framed myself between them and scowled. “Smile.”

“What?”

“Show us those pearly whites.” Dean growled.

“Oh, for the love of… do you wanna stick that thing someplace else? I’m not a vampire.”

I glanced up at Sam, who side-eyed me, then Dean.

“That’s right. I heard you guys in there.”

“What do you know about vampires?” Sam snapped.

“How to kill them. Now seriously, bro. That knife’s making me itch.”

Dean tilted his head.

Oh how tragic.

The man tried to stand straight, and Sam slammed him back into the wall. 

“Hey! Whoa. Easy there, chachi.”

I held back a growl as I glared at the man.

I wish Dad was here.

I blinked, taken aback.

Had the voice in my head just… talked to me?

I miss Dad too.

The man pulled his lips up to show us his gums. “See? Fangless. Happy?”

Sam let him go, and Dean pulled the knife away.

“Now.” The man spat. “Who the hell are you three?”

                                                          ***

“Sam, Dean, and Olive Winchester.” Gordon Walker, solo hunter spoke. “I can’t believe it. You know I met your old man once? Hell of a guy. Great hunter. I heard he passed. I’m sorry. It’s big shoes. But from what I hear you guys fill ‘em. Great trackers, good in a tight spot-”

“You seem to know a lot about our family.” I cut him off.

“Word travels fast.” He sighed. “You know how hunters talk.”

“No.” I shook my head. “We don’t, actually.”

“I guess there’s a lot your dad never told you, huh?”

“So those two vampires, they were yours, huh?” I mocked his tone.

“Yep. Been here two weeks.”

“Did you check out Barker farm?” I spat.

“It’s a bust. Just a bunch of hippies. Though they could kill you with that patchouli smell alone.”

“Where’s the nest?” I ignored the rack of fancy equipment that he pulled out of his car.

“Look, girl-”

“Her name’s Olive.” Sam snapped.

“I got this one covered. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a real pleasure meeting you fellas. But I’ve been on this thing for over a year. I killed a fang back in Austin, tracked the nest all the way up here. I’ll finish it.”

“We could help.” Dean offered, finally getting a word in.

“Thanks, but uh, I’m kind of a go-it-alone type of guy.”

“Come on, man. I’ve been itching for a hunt.” Dean grinned.

“Sorry. But hey, I hear there’s a chupacabra two states over. You go ahead and knock yourselves out.” He shut the back door and got into his car. “It was real good meeting you, though. I’ll buy you a drink on the flip side.”

He drove off, and Dean and Sam both turned to me with strange looks on their faces.

“What?”

“What the hell was that?”

I shrugged. “I dunno. Dad never mentioned him, so why did he know so much about our family? He’s not a vamp, but he could be something else. A werewolf, a shifter. Hell, a skinwalker. Or he could just be some very shady dude.”

“Ol, I’ve never seen you go at anybody like that.”

“Yeah, Dean’s right. Not before.” Sam shook his head.

I sighed. “I don’t like his vibes.”

Dean sighed and Sam shrugged. “Alright. Let’s go.”

                                                          ***

“Hey!” I roared, fangs on display.

The vamp turned with an open mouth and wide eyes. Sam took the chance to pull Gordon out from under the power saw, helping him to his feet. The vamp came at me full force, and Dean picked up a loose crowbar and hit him with it. The vamp fell under the saw, and I watched as Dean moved without hesitation. He drove the crowbar into the vamp’s chest before throwing a few punches.

He lowered the saw, cutting the vamp’s head off. His face got sprayed with blood, and I jumped at the sound of bones crunching. Sam reached for me and pulled me into his chest. I hid my face in his shirt and shook, horrified. I had seen Dean kill, but this sent chills down my spine.

There was a long silence, and Sam ran a hand through my hair.

“It’s okay, bug. I’ve got ya.”

“So uh… I guess I gotta buy you that drink.”

Dean laughed, and I shrunk further into Sam.

“Yeah. Hey, babes.” He reached for me, and I forced Sam back as I moved forward, away from Dean.

Dean stared at me, confused. “What…”

Sam eyed him and shook his head. I turned and huddled back into Sam’s chest.

Too much blood.

                                                          ***

I was curled up in the chair, leaning into Sam’s side as much as I possibly could. Dean was on my other side, because it was either him or Gordon, but I didn’t want anybody except Sam.

“Here you go.” The waitress came by, placing another round, as well as the bill, down on the table.

Dean reached for his wallet, and Gordon waved his hand.

“No, no, I got it.”

“Come on.” Dean tried.

“I insist.” Gordon handed a 50 to the waitress. “Thank you, sweetie.”

My stomach churned and I pressed my head further into Sam. He wrapped his arm tighter around me.

“Another one bites the dust.” Gordon raised his glass.

Bad vibes, bad vibes, bad vibes.

I swallowed, hard.

I know.

“Dean.” Gordon laughed, and I shivered.

It sounded wrong coming out of his mouth. Like he had broken some ancient, blood-rule.

“You gave that big-ass fang one hell of a haircut, my friend.”

“Thank you.” Dean grinned.

“That was beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.”

“Yep.” Dean took a swig of his beer and glanced at us. “You alright, Sammy?”

“I’m fine.”

“Princess?”

“Feel sick.” I mumbled, not moving from the security of Sam’s grip.

“Well, come on. Smile, princess. Lighten up a little, Sammy.”

I clenched my jaw and a growl slipped its way through my throat. Sam scowled.

“He’s the only one who gets to call us that.”

“Okay. No offense meant. Just celebrating a little. Job well done.”

“Right. Well, decapitations aren’t my idea of a good time, I guess. And my little sister is sick to her stomach, so excuse me for not throwing a party.”

“Oh, come on, guys. It’s not like it was human. You’ve gotta have a little more fun with your job.”

“See?” Dean’s face lit up, and I swallowed the bile that rose in my throat. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell him! Sam, you could learn a thing or two from this guy.”

Sam looked back and forth between the two, a look of disgust forming on his face. “Yeah. I bet I could.”

I tugged on his jacket. “Sams, can we go home? Think I’m gonna puke.”

He nodded. “Look, I’m not gonna bring you guys down, and Olive really doesn’t feel well. We’re just gonna go back to the motel.”

Dean sighed. “You sure?”

Sam nodded as he stood, helping me stay steady on my feet.

“Alright. Hey, buttercup.” Dean reached for me again, and I stumbled back into Sam’s hold.

Dean sighed and looked down. He tossed the keys at Sam without looking.

“Remind me to beat the buzzkill out of you later, Sammy, yeah?”

Sam only rolled his eyes.

“Bye, De.”

He said nothing. My bottom lip quivered, and Sam swiftly picked me up by the waist, letting me cry into his neck.

“Come on, bug. Let’s go home.”

                                                          ***

“How’re you feeling, honey?” Sam whispered, putting a hand up to my forehead.

I shrugged. “Better, I guess.”

“Yeah. Maybe your tummy just needed to get all the yucky out, yeah?”

I nodded. Sam had rushed home so that I could barf. He held my hair back during, then made sure I brushed my teeth afterwards. He had braided my hair and put me in bed so I could sleep. The last time he had taken care of me, I was eleven, so the old habit was dying hard.

“Thanks for taking care of me, Sammy.” I mumbled.

He smiled and bent over, kissing my forehead. “Of course, baby. You gonna be okay if I make a phone call real quick?”

I nodded. “Can I get a ginger ale?”

He smiled. “Yeah, I’ll go after I’m done on the phone.”

I sniffed. “Are you sure?”

He nodded, pressing another kiss to my face. He sat down on the other bed with a wink as he pulled out his phone.

“Hey, Ellen, Sam Winchester.”

I felt my eyelids grow heavy as I watched him.

“Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine. Just got a question.”

I turned onto my side, focusing on Sam’s face.

“You ever run across a guy named Gordon Walker?”

A pause.

“And?”

Sam caught my eye and made a silly face at me. I smiled, pulling the blanket tighter around my shoulders.

“Well, we ran into him on a job and we’re kinda working with him, I guess.”

Sam’s face morphed into one of confusion. “I… I thought you said he was a good hunter. Wait, Ellen… Right…” He nodded. “Okay. Uh, alright. Thanks, talk later.”

He shut the phone and sighed.

“What is it, Sams?”

He shook his head. “Nothing to worry about, bunny.”

I sniffled again. “You sure?”

“Yeah.” He smiled, smoothing my hair out. “Yeah, I’m sure. Okay. You get some rest, I’m gonna go get your ginger ale, alright?”

I nodded, letting my eyes fall shut. “Love you, bambi.”

He smiled. “Love you too, baby girl.” He kissed my head. “Get some shut eye.”

                                                          ***

“Hey. Hey, Ollie. Olive. Baby girl, wake up.”

I rolled over to see Dean shaking me. I inched away as I sat up, squinting. I caught a glimpse of Gordon at the table and my chest clenched.

You aren’t safe. You aren’t safe, you aren’t safe, you aren’t safe.

“Where’s Sam?” I asked, beginning to struggle to breathe.

“Figured you’d know.” Dean tried to move closer, and my chest began to ache like I had just been shot.

“Uh-”

“Car’s parked outside. Probably went for a walk. Seems like the take-a-walk type.” Gordon cut me off.

I scowled, and Dean shook his head, unconvinced.

“Yeah, he is, but…”

The door opened, and Sam walked in. I scrambled out of bed. I dodged Dean as best as I could as I jumped over the other bed and made a beeline for Sam. He caught me in his arms and glared at Gordon.

“Sammy.” I whimpered.

“I’m here, bug. I’m here.” He cradled my head.

“Sam, where you been?”

“Can we talk? Alone?”

Dean sighed. “Mind chilling out for a couple minutes?”

Gordon shrugged, and Sam opened the door. I shuffled out past him, leaning into his side as he began down the stairs.

“Oh, I’m…” I trailed off, looking down at my bare feet.

Sam scooped me and placed me on his hip without a word. “Dean, maybe we gotta rethink this hunt.”

“What’re you talking about? Where you been? I got here and Olive was all alone.”

“I was in the nest, Dean.”

“What?” My eyes went huge. “Are you okay?”

“You found it?”

He nodded. “Yeah, I’m alright, bug.” He sighed. “They found me, man.”

“How’d you get out? How many’d you kill?”

Sam scowled. “None.”

“Well, Sam, they didn’t just let you go.” Dean scoffed.

“That’s exactly what they did.”

“Alright, well where is it?” Dean’s eyebrows furrowed.

Sam shook his head. “I was blindfolded. I don’t know.”

“You’ve gotta know something, Sam.”

“We went over that bridge outside of town, but Dean, listen.” Sam sighed. “Maybe we shouldn’t go after them.”

“Why the hell not?”

“I don’t think they’re like other vamps, Dean!” He hissed. “I don’t think they’re killing people.”

“You’re joking.” Dean scowled. “Then how do they stay alive? Or undead, or whatever the fuck they are.”

“The cattle mutilations.” I realized, looking up at Sam.

He nodded. “They said they live off animal blood.”

“And you believed them?” Dean was shocked.

“Look at him, Dean. He doesn’t even have a scratch on him. No bites, no blood, no bumps or bruises.” I ran a hand through Sam’s hair. “They didn’t hurt him. And they didn’t hurt me either. I was asleep in the room, they could’ve killed me, easy.”

“Wait, so you two are saying…” Dean shook his head. “No, man. No way. I dunno why they let you go, and I don’t really care. We find ‘em and we waste ‘em.”

“But why?” I stressed.

“What part of vampires don’t you understand, Ol? If it’s supernatural, we kill it, end of story.”

He kept talking, but I couldn’t hear him.

We’re supernatural. Is he gonna kill us?

“Dean! Our job is hunting evil. And if these things aren’t killing people, they’re not evil!” Sam spat.

“Sam, they’re all the same. They’re not human, okay? We have to exterminate every last one of them!”

We’re not human. Is he gonna kill us?

“Gordon’s been on those vamps for a year, man. He knows.”

“Gordon?”

No!

I tensed up in Sam’s arms, and he held me tighter.

“You’re taking his word for it?”

“That’s right.”

“Ellen says he’s bad news.” Sam hissed.

“You called Ellen?”

Sam nodded.

Of course!

“And I’m supposed to listen to her? We barely know her, Sam. No thanks, I’ll go with Gordon.”

“Right, cause Gordon’s such an old friend. You think I can’t see what this is?”

“What are you talking about?” Dean fired back.

“He’s a substitute for Dad, isn’t he? A poor one.”

“Shut up, Sam.”

“He’s not even close, Dean.” Sam growled. “Not even on his best day.”

“You know what, Sam? I’m not even going to talk about this.”

“You know, you can slap that big fake smile on your face, but I can see right through it. Because I know how you feel, Dean. Dad’s dead, and he left a hole, and it hurts so bad that you can’t take it. But you can’t just fill up that hole with whoever you want to. It’s an insult to his memory.”

Dean took a breath, then stared right at Sam. “Put her down, Sam.”

“What?”

“Put her down.”

“Wait, no, Sams-”

“Put her down or she’s gonna get hurt too!”

“Sammy-”

Dean ripped me from Sam and pushed me over onto the floor. I crumbled against the wet pavement, in shock. Dean punched Sam clear across the face and I began to cry.

“You can hit me all you want, Dean. It won’t change anything.”

Dean took another swing, and I stumbled to my feet. I let out a growl, baring my fangs at Dean. He turned to me with death in his eyes and knocked me to the ground, hand on my neck.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing, Olive?”

I only growled louder, and he raised a fist. I shut my eyes and flinched, but it never came. Sam pushed him off onto the ground and kept him pinned.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? You’re gonna hit her? You gonna punch your baby sister?”

“I’m going to that nest.” Dean shoved Sam off and got to his feet. “You don’t wanna tell me where it is, fine. I’ll find it myself.”

“Dean!”

Dean turned on his heel and walked away. Sam turned and brought me to my feet.

“Olive.”

“I’m okay.”

“It’s okay if you’re not okay.”

I coughed, put a hand up, and turned. I leaned over and puked again, only this time what came up was blood from my mouth and stomach acid. Sam rubbed a circle on my back.

“I’m okay. I’m okay, let’s just go.” I stood straight and took off after Dean.

“Dean!” Sam called.

He was in the motel room, which was empty.

“Gordon?” He called.

“You think he went after them?” Sam asked.

“Probably.” Dean scowled. “I fucking hope so.”

“Dean, we have to stop him.” I spat.

“Really, Olive? Because I say we lend a hand.”

“Dean, you just took me down in the middle of a parking lot.” I hissed. “Give Sam the benefit of the doubt. You owe me that.”

“Olive-”

“This is not a debate, Dean. Either you trust Sam or I’ll leave and I will never come back.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“And I thought you would never lay a hand on me.”

He sighed. “Fine. I’ll drive. Gimme the keys.”

Sam sighed and pointed to the table, where he had set the keys when we got home.

“He snaked the keys.”

“Mother fucker.”

                                                          ***

Dean grimaced as he hotwired Baby. A few sparks later, her engine turned over and she purred like she had earlier today.

“I can’t believe this.” He groaned. “I just fixed her up, too.”

I leaned into Sam’s side and refused to look up. Dean sighed. I could already feel his guilt, but I didn’t wanna hear anything from him right now, even if it was an apology.

“So the bridge… is that all you got?”

Sam nodded, tracing over the map. “The bridge was four and a half minutes from their farm.”

“How do you know?”

Sam rolled his eyes. “I counted.” He traced the trail. “They took a left out of the farm, then turned right onto a dirt road, followed that for two minutes slightly up a hill, then took another quick right and we hit the bridge.”

Dean huffed. “You’re good. You’re a monster pain in the ass, but you’re good. Alright kids, ready to rock and roll?”

I finally looked up at him and said nothing. My neck hurt, I had scraped my elbow, and my fangs had cut through parts of my lip. This was his fault.

He sighed again, then looked back at the road. “Let’s go.”

                                                          ***

“Come on.” Dean pushed me slightly behind him.

“Don’t touch me.” I snarled at him, backing away from him and into Sam.

“I’m sorry.” He shrunk down.

“Just stay with me, bug.” Sam whispered as Dean led the way into the farmhouse.

“Sam, Dean, Olive. Come on in.”

“Hey, Gordon.” Dean was at attention. “What’s going on?”

“Just poisoning Lenore here with some dead man’s blood. She’s gonna tell us where all her little friends are, aren’t you? Wanna help?”

“Look, man…” Dean trailed off.

“Grab a knife.” Gordon gestured to the knives on the table. “I was just about to start in on the fingers.”

He dragged a knife covered in blood across her arm, and her veins pulsated black, tracing away from the cut. I gasped.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey. Let’s all just chill out, huh?”

“I’m completely chill.” Gordon smiled.

“Gordon, put the knife down.” Sam took a step toward him.

I grabbed his wrist and Dean put a hand on his chest, stopping him.

“Sounds like it’s Sam here who needs to chill.”

“Just step away from her, alright?”

“You’re right. I’m wasting my time here. This bitch will never talk. Might as well put her out of her misery.” Gordon whipped out a larger knife. “I just sharpened it, so it’s completely humane.”

I took a step forward as a growl flowed past my lips. Gordon’s eyes locked on me, and I froze.

We fucked up.

Dean stepped in front of me, and I huddled behind him, hands gripping his jacket.

“Gordon, I’m letting her go.” Sam went at him.

“You’re not doing a damn thing.” The knife went up to Sam’s chest.

“Hey, hey, hey, Gordon. Let’s talk about this.” Dean’s hands went up.

“What’s there to talk about. It’s like I said Dean, no shades of grey.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I hear ya. And I know how you feel.” Dean moved closer, and I moved with him, horrified.

“Do you?”

“The vampire that killed your sister deserved to die, but this one-”

He stopped as Gordon started to laugh.

“Killed my sister? That filthy fang didn’t kill my sister. It turned her. It made her one of them. So I hunted her down. And I killed her myself.”

“You did what?”

“It wasn’t my sister anymore. It wasn’t human. I didn’t blink. And neither would you.”

My blood ran cold, and Dean reached behind him, his hand landing on my arm. I moved to hold his hand in mine and gripped it. He locked eyes with me over his shoulder.

His eyes said it all. 

I’m so sorry.

I sighed and leaned against his shoulder.

He would blink.

“So you knew all along, then? You knew about the vampires, you knew they weren’t killing anyone. You knew about the cattle. And you just didn’t care.” Sam shook his head.

“Care about what? A nest of vampires suddenly acting nice? Taking a little time out from sucking innocent people? And we’re supposed to buy that? Trust me. Doesn’t change what they are. And I can prove that.”

Gordon twisted Sam’s arm back and sliced it. Sam grunted as Gordon put the knife to his throat and dragged him to Lenore. Dean pulled his gun and cocked it faster than I could blink.

“Let him go. Now!”

Sam looked horrified, and I panted, trying to hold back.

“Relax. If I wanted to kill him he’d already be on the floor. Just making a little point.” He twisted Sam’s arm again and squeezed.

His blood began to fall on Lenore’s face. She gasped before her fangs extended and she began to hiss.

“Hey!” Dean shouted.

“Think she’s so different? Still want to save her? Look at her. They’re all the same. Evil, bloodthirsty.”

Lenore regained control of herself. Her fangs went back inside, and she turned her face away, crying.

“No. Please, no.”

“You hear her, Gordon?” Sam challenged.

“No! No!” Lenore hung her head low.

Sam pushed the knife away from his throat and backed away from Gordon. “We’re done here.”

“Sam, get her out of here.”

“Yeah.” Sam picked her up. “I gotcha. I gotcha.”

Gordon took a step toward Sam, and Dean kept the gun trained on him.

“Uh-uh. No. Gordon, I think you and I’ve got some things to talk about.” Dean inched closer.

“Get out of my way.” Gordon put the knife back up.

I pulled my gun and cocked it, aiming between his eyes once more. “Sorry. Not gonna happen.”

“You’re not serious, Dean.”

“I’m having a hard time believing it too, but I know what I saw. If you want those vampires, you gotta go through me.”

Gordon eyed his knife before jamming it into the table. “Fine.”

Dean eyed the knife and nodded. He pulled the clip from his gun and set it on the table. I put the safety back on mine and tucked it into my waistband. Dean and I looked at each other. He had a soft smile on his face, and I felt close to tears.

Gordon came at him and punched him across the face. I pulled my gun again, but they were tussling back and forth, and I couldn’t get a clean shot. Gordon grabbed the knife again, and Dean let out a groan. They kept fighting, but my hand wasn’t steady enough to knock Gordon without hitting Dean. Dean knocked the knife out of his hand.

“What are you doing, man? You doing this for a fang? Come on, Dean. We’re on the same side here.”

“I don’t think so, you sadistic bastard.”

Gordon took Dean back to the ground, and I groaned as Dean grunted, hitting the floor.

“You’re not like your brother and sister. You’re a killer. Like me.” Gordon howled.

Dean rolled away, and I grinned, finally lining up my shot. Clean through the knee. Gordon screamed, and Dean smiled at me. He pinned him down and slammed His head into a wall.

“Oops, sorry.”

Gordon was now out cold, and I pulled over a chair so Dean could tie him up.

“You know. I might be like you, and I might now. But you’re the one tied up right now.” Dean grumbled before spitting in his face.

He turned to me and gave me the same small smile from earlier. I slowly made my way to him and accepted a hug, resting my head against his chest.

“I’m so sorry, Olive.”

I nodded. “I know.”

“I shouldn’t have put my hands on you. I’m so sorry.”

I nodded again. “I know. I shouldn’t have lost it in public.”

“I shouldn’t have hit Sam either. I’m sorry.”

I nodded a third time. “I’m sorry too. You miss Dad more than Sam and I do, and we should try to respect how you’re coping.”

He let out a soft laugh. “I really lucked out with you, kid.”

Another nod. “I know. I love you, De.”

“I love you too, baby girl. My sweet, beautiful girl.”

                                                          ***

“Did I miss anything?” Sam asks as he walks back into the barn.

“Nah, not much.” Dean shakes his head. “Lenore get out okay?”

Sam nods. “Yeah. All of em did.”

He eyes Olive, who is fast asleep on the floor, her head in Dean’s lap. He looks at Dean, who smiles.

“We made up.”

Sam grins. “Good.”

“Then I guess our work here is done. How you doing, Gordy? Gotta tinkle yet?” Dean taunts.

Gordon glares.

“Alright. Well, get comfy. We’ll call someone in two or three days, have them come out and untie you.”

He shakes Olive awake, who groans and rubs her eyes. She remembers what happened last night and tries to dig her head into Dean’s leg so that she won't have to get up. He laughs as Sam grabs her by the hands and drags her to her feet. She huffs.

“Ready to go, De?”

“Not yet.” Dean sighs. “I guess this is goodbye. Well, it’s been real.” He smiles his charming smile before punching Gordon at full force, sending him flying backwards in his chair.

Sam clears his throat as Olive giggles. He turns to his younger siblings with a smile.

“Okay. I’m good now. We can go.”

                                                          ***

“Hey, sweetheart.” Dean cups Olive’s face as they stretch outside of the farmhouse, basking in the sun.

“What?” She asks, cheeks smushed.

“I need you to know that I will never lay a hand on you again. Okay? I will never hurt you again. Ever. I love you.”

She nods, feeling tears well into her eyes. “Okay. I love you too.”

He pulls her into his chest and kisses the top of her head. Olive wipes the tears away from her eyes. Dean may be a douchebag at times, but he’s her brother, and she wouldn’t trade him for the world.

“Okay. Okay.” He clears his throat and stands, setting his feet apart like a boxer would. “Sam, clock me one.”

“What?”

“Yeah. You get a freebie, and then Olive gets to do whatever the hell she wants. Come on, let’s go.”

Sam and Olive cock their heads, staring at each other, and then their big brother.

“No.”

“Come on, I won’t even hit ya back. Let’s go.”

“You look like you just went twelve rounds with a block of cement, Dean. I’ll take a raincheck.”

Olive giggles, and Dean turns to her, patting his cheek. “Come on. Your go.”

She smiles and runs at him, but jumps into his arms. He catches her with a groan as he stumbles backward. She’s not heavy, but Dean’s so tired that he wishes she would’ve bitten clean through his arm instead.

“This is my punishment?”

“Yeah, you gotta carry me to the car.” She grins as she gets comfy in his hold.

He sighs, patting her back as the siblings start back toward their car.

“What is it, De?”

“I wish we never took this job. It’s jacked everything up.”

Sam and Olive share another look.

“What do you mean?”

“Think about all the hunts we went on, Sammy. Our whole lives.”

Sam nods. “Okay?”

“What if… what if we killed things that didn’t deserve killing? Ya know? I mean, the way Dad raised us…”

“Dean… after what happened to Mom… Dad did the best he could.”

“I know he did.” Dean sighs. “But the man wasn’t perfect. And the way he raised us, to hate those things. And man, I hate em. I do. Olive’s the only creature I’ve ever loved. When I killed that vamp at the mill, I didn’t even think about it. Hell, I enjoyed it.”

“You didn’t kill Lenore.” Olive pipes up.

“No, but every instinct told me to. I was gonna kill her. I was gonna kill em all, ya know.”

“Yeah, Dean.” Sam starts. “But you didn’t. And that’s what matters.”

Dean scoffs. His younger siblings keep him grounded, and he knows that. But he’ll be damned if he admits that.

“Yeah, well, cause you two are major pains in my ass.”

Sam grins. “Guess I might have to stick around to be a pain in the ass, then.”

“Thanks.” Dean whispers.

Sam grins. He can’t tell if Dean’s whispering because he feels weak or because Olive is sleeping again. He smiles either way.

“Don’t mention it.”

Sam climbs into the car. Dean opens the back door and lays Olive down, letting her curl up onto her side. He peels off his jacket and lays it over her with a smile. He shuts the door, stares at the sunset, and then gets in the car and drives off.

Previous Ep: Everybody Loves a Clown (2.02)

Next Ep: Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things (2.04)

[twdeadfanfic]

Mine

*Summary:  Daryl’s girl is a pretty reserved person. She doesn’t talk much unless she really needs to. When Tyreese has Daryl pinned after finding Karen’s body, she reacts the fastest and aims at him,and this time you can bet she’s going to speak.

Request:  Daryl's s/o is a pretty reserved person. She doesn't talk much unless she really needs to, and not at all when strangers are around, so it's always a surprise when she does. I'd like a short where when Tyreese has Daryl pinned after finding Karen's body, she reacts the fastest and aims at him, saying, "Hey! Tyreese. I know. Someone took yours...but you've got mine right there. Back off. Now." I JUST...I love when couples call each other "mine".

*Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader

*Words: 2207

Hope you’ll like this and I hope I did the request justice!

--------------------------------------------

As you finished your dinner, you sat back on your picnic chair, watching the sunset beyond the prison fences and listening to the conversations around you, though you didn’t feel like you had anything to say.

“You okay?”

You felt a hand on your thigh and you looked to Daryl, who was sat down next to you. You nodded and smiled, placing your hand on top his. Daryl laced his fingers with yours and his thumb began to gently stroke over the back of your hand.

You knew he worried when you didn’t say a word in too long, but you knew he understood it and didn’t mind it when you didn’t feel like talking. He wasn’t the most talkative either, though he joined the conversations more often than you.

You weren’t talkative even in the world before this one, silent more often than not, barely voicing all the million thoughts you always had in your head. You just didn’t see the point in talking when it was not necessary, you didn’t feel like that most of the time, and that was okay to you.

Then the world changed and you had been with a small group, going from camp to camp as you hid from the dead, until you had been overrun by them. You all had scattered around, running for your lives, and you had seen most of your people devoured by the monsters, getting separated from the ones that managed to run away.

You had ended up alone and lost in the woods, traumatized, and you had spent there a couple of days until Rick and Shane had found you and had taken you to the Greene’s farm.

You smiled as you thought about first meeting Daryl. Back then you could have never imagined you’d end up in love with him. He had thought Rick and Shane had found Sophia, the little girl he was looking for, and when he found out it was you and not her, he had been just so disappointed and angry, rudely snapping at you, you had been quite intimidated by him, not wanting to be near him.

Soon, though, he had seemed to notice your traumatized state, and he had slowly become more soft and gentle with you, subtly taking care of you and keeping an eye on you. You had noticed it more and more during those horrible months after the farm fell, a deep friendship developing between you two. Neither of you was talkative, never pressing each other into talking when you didn’t feel like it, and you could understand each other without words.

He knew you better than anyone, you didn’t think you had ever felt more comfortable around anyone, loving the way in which he took care of you and everyone else, his big, sweet heart. You couldn’t stop yourself from falling for him.

You didn’t know when Daryl had fallen for you. Your relationship developed slowly, without any of you putting any label to it or pressuring each other into anything, slowly shifting from your initial friendship to what you had now, and you couldn’t be more grateful and happy about it.

And to think that the first time you saw him you thought he was a rude prick who you hoped to keep away from you. You chuckled softly. Daryl raised an eyebrow, looking at you with a small smile that was half amused, half confused, but you just shook your head, leaning to press a kiss to his arm.

You noticed Carol looking at you both with a fond smile. She winked at you and you blushed but your smile widened. Maybe you didn’t talk much, but you were sure your family knew how much you cared for them, just as much as you knew they cared for you.

You were grateful for them, as you were for Daryl. Since finding that prison your life has improved and it just kept getting better. Life with Daryl at your side was better too. No matter you could see a bunch of walkers pushing relentlessly at the fences, like always, you were sure that at that moment, life was pretty good…better enjoy it while it lasted.

*

Everything was a mess inside the cellblock, walkers attacking everyone, dead bodies on the floor, and as you sunk your knife into the walkers’ skull, you realized they were your people. You didn’t know what was going on, how or why it had happened, but you knew you needed to help to stop it and keep your people safe.

Once the bodies were put down, the doctor began checking them. Most of them had died bitten by walkers and had woken up as so, but Patrick had died of illness, the first one to change.

It was a scary idea, but it seemed a virus had spread through the prison, there had been walkers and pigs with those same symptoms, and all of you who had been there in the cellblock could be infected…maybe even people who hadn’t been there.

Rick tried not to let panic spread through the prison, talking with the doctor and Hershel, and you went with Daryl to bury the dead bodies, covering your mouths and wearing gloves, though you weren’t sure if it was good for something, since both of you had already been exposed. You didn’t want to think about either of you getting sick like that, you had to keep a positive mind, or else you feared panic wouldn’t let you do anything.

Digging the graves and burying the bodies under the beating sun was a hard job, and once it was done you went to one of the picnic tables that were in the shadow, flopping down on the bench and resting your head on your arms over the table.

“You okay?” You felt Daryl’s hand at the back of your neck, stroking your hair away from your sweat-damp skin. You nodded, looking at him and noticing how worried he seemed.

“Just tired, not sick.” You reassured him, taking the bottle of water he offered you as he sat down next to you, thanking him and taking a long sip. “You?”

“I’m okay, just…” Daryl let out a sigh. “I didn’t think we’d lose so many people like this…didn’t think we were losing these many people anymore. I’m tired of losing people.”

You took his hand, lacing your fingers and squeezing it softly before lifting it to your lips, kissing his knuckles. You knew how devastated he might be feeling, he cared so much about everyone. He smiled sadly and wrapped his arm around you, and you both sat there in silence for as long as you could, until you were needed by the group again.

*

You had thought the day couldn’t get worse but it did. Karen and David, who hadn’t been in the infected cellblock, showed symptoms of being ill and were put in an isolated cellblock. Nobody talked about it, but you knew everyone feared it was already too late and the mortal flu would spread through the whole prison.

Then, one of the fences fell down under the weight of a big group of walkers that almost managed to get inside but that were driven away by Rick and Daryl at the cost of feeding them your piglets. It had been horrifying to watch and you still could hear them squealing.

After a quick dinner, you made your way into your cell and got into bed, more than ready for the day to be over. Soon Daryl joined you in bed, throwing an arm over you and snuggling to you, resting his head on your chest when you shifted to lie on your back.

“Okay?” You whispered to him, wrapping an arm around him and playing with his hair.

“Could be better. Tired. Shit of a day.” He murmured, he’d only talk so openly to you, and sometimes to Carol and Rick too, in front of the others he always tried to seem confident and keep the spirits high. “But I don’t feel sick.” That was good, though you wouldn’t stop worrying until you were sure the virus was gone. “You?”

You shook your head, you were pretty sure you were alright, at least physically. “Just sad.”

“Yeah…”  Daryl pulled back to look at you, caressing his knuckles over your cheekbone before leaning down to kiss your lips softly. “Let’s get some sleep.” He rested his head on your chest again and you pressed a kiss to the top of his head, wrapping your arms loosely around him and closing your eyes to try to sleep.

Early in the morning, you were abruptly awoken by Rick urgently calling for Daryl, who jumped onto his feet. You grabbed your gun and rushed behind him, and you were shocked to find two dead bodies on one of the yards, burned down to the bones.

You couldn’t recognize the bodies, but as Tyreese argued with Rick, you found out horrified that they were Karen and David. Maybe someone had tried to stop the illness by their own hand.

Before you could do anything, a fight broke between Tyreese and Rick, both men punching each other, and Daryl got in the middle, trying to separate them and calm them down. Tyreese was bigger than him, though, and he pushed at Daryl until he had pinned him against the wall.

You didn’t know what to do, Daryl reached out his arms to stop Rick and you for approaching, trying to assure you he had it under control, but you couldn’t help your fear at seeing him pinned like that by Tyreese, who seemed more out of control than you had ever seen him. You were scared he might hurt Daryl and you aimed your gun at him.

"Hey! Tyreese. I know. Someone took yours...but you've got mine right there. Back off. Now." You threatened, your voice shaking.

Tyreese looked at you when he heard your voice, seeming shocked, and stepped back, letting Daryl go.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you speak before.” He murmured, looking surprised. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry…I just…”He trailed off, looking at Karen’s body, his eyes watering, and no matter what, your heart went to him.

“It’s okay...right?” Daryl grabbed your hand, lowering your gun, and you nodded. You couldn’t imagine how Tyreese might be feeling, you didn’t want to…if something like that would happen to Daryl…you didn’t even what to think it. You shuddered and Daryl wrapped an arm around your shoulders, exchanging a look with Rick. Those two could communicate without words too

“Are we all going to calm down now?” Rick looked from Tyreese to you and to Daryl, surveying the situation. You nodded and so did Tyreese. “Okay…okay…I promise I’m going to investigate this, find out who did this, alright?”

“Alright…” Tyreese wet eyes were still on Karen, and you didn’t think that there was anything you could say or do to bring him any comfort, not even find the murderer. That wouldn’t bring Karen back to him.

“Why don’t we let them speak?” Daryl asked you softly, noticing how this had affected you, and you nodded, letting him walk you both back to your cell.

Once in there you flopped down onto your bed, running a hand through your hair and taking a deep breath as you began to calm down. Daryl gave you that look that you knew meant he was wondering if you were okay and you nodded, though you were still agitated at the idea of Tyreese hurting Daryl, and you couldn’t believe someone would do that to Karen and David.

“Are you hurt?” You reached out to take Daryl’s hand and tugged at it so he’d sit down next to you.

“Nah, you gotta understand Tyreese…” Daryl shook his head, his face dark, and you nodded. “Can’t imagine any of us doing that.” Daryl knew all the new people the best and neither you knew who could have done it, it was sick.

Both of you stayed silent for a short while, until you noticed Daryl staring at you with a small, half smile. You raised your eyebrows at him, wondering what he was smiling about at such a moment.

“So…I’m yours?” He asked you shyly and you felt your cheeks heating up. You hadn’t thought about what you had said, it had just slipped as you tried to stop Tyreese, but you meant it.

You weren’t sure about what Daryl might think about it, though, since any of you had ever called each other or your relationship by any label, no matter everyone knew you two were a thing. You two knew that you were together as a couple and knew what you were to each other, but none of you had ever voiced it like that… judging by Daryl’s smile, he didn’t seem to mind your words, though.

You shrugged, unsure.

“I think I’d like to.” He was looking at you know with one of those big smiles that were so rare on him and you couldn’t help your own, your heart beating fast, excited and happy. You reached to cup his face and kiss his lips.

“Then you’re mine. And I’m yours.”

-----------------------------------------

Thank you all for reading this little story! I hope you liked it! Please, if you have a moment, drop me a comment and let me know your thoughts about it! It means the world and I love to talk to you all.

As always, English is not my first language so sorry if there are mistakes.

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[ruvikkin-art]

“Well now Arthur, I heard some rumor floatin around about you. Wanna tell me if its true or not? You really hackin up flowers?” Arthur rubbed the bridge of his nose and turned to Karen. “You can trust me, I ain’t here to judge. But everyone who knows- and people are knowin now- we all want to know who you’re coughing for. Mary-beth thought it might be her, I saw you two dancin when Sean came back.” “Karen-” “Or you coughin for Tilly? Unless you’re doin it for me which is sweet Arthur but you know that Sean and I… Well… He’d put up a fight though I don’t think it’d be much of one for you.”

“Why you act so sour all the time?” Arthur gripped the reins in his hands and wiped some mud from his face, glaring over at Micah. They had just shot up half a town, Micah making a house call in the middle of all of it for some guns, and had killed good people and lawmen just trying to get out of there. He wished he had let Micah hang, he should really drag Micah back and throw him to the lawmen and high tail out of there but he knew that Dutch would be very unhappy if Micah got out again and told him what Arthur had done.

“Yeah well you ain’t funny at all so why you gotta act like the court jester?” Micah shook his head and turned his horse around.

“Well I’m sorry cowpoke but you and me, were family now. Sons of Dutch, makes us brothers… and sometimes brothers make mistakes. Now I’m headin’ back to my camp round back of Strawberry. Come see me, maybe I can make things up to you.” Arthur gave Micah a confused look, wondering what he’d be doing going back to his own camp- and wondering when he MADE a camp since he’d been with Lenny and then in jail as far as he knew.

“You ain’t headin’ back to Dutch?”

“No, I’ve been a bad boy Arthur. I ain’t going back to Dutch til I can get him a peace offering.” Micah clicked his tongue, signaling his horse to go while before waving goodbye to Arthur.

Arthur scowled and rode off, eager to get back to camp and tell Strauss now what had happened at the Downes farm.

Pulling the bow off his horse Arthur decided to take a bit of time to hunt and practice with the bow. If he didn’t catch anything at least he could tell Charles he’d been practicing with it, maybe even convince the man to go out hunting with him sometime soon. They’d both been so busy it felt like Arthur hadn’t spoken to him since they got Sean home safe. Now with Micah out of jail and the possibility he’ll be coming back to the gang soon looming over Arthurs head he figured he may as well go all in with it. Just hoping at least he didn’t get killed by a bunch of flowers.

Arthur rode into the woods, tracking down a deer that he could tell would be good for a stew. He jumped off his horse and crouched down to follow the trail quietly. Finally when he saw the deer, Arthur lifted the bow up and aimed.

“Aim for the head or the neck, we want a good clean kill.” Arthur took in a deep breath as he thought about Charles words, trying to keep his hands steady and his mind clear but the damage was already done. Just as he pulled back to let the arrow fly his lungs ached and his throat tightened, causing him to start hacking and of course scare the deer. Hacking out a fist full of petals, Arthur cussed loudly and made his way back to his horse, climbing onto her and clicking his tongue to ride off. If he couldn’t even catch a god damn deer without being distracted and coughing then he knew it was about time for a long talk with Charles.

The rest of the ride went almost smooth, only stopping once when he got hit by another wave of petals creeping up out of his lungs so he’d almost choke. He didn’t catch anything so when he returned to camp he made a beeline for Strauss, still angry the man had taken out a loan with someone who was so ill they probably wouldn’t make it the next month and made sure to tell him so. Strauss waved it off and told him they’d get it at a later date which was fine by Arthur.

Trying to keep any attention from coming to himself Arthur decided to do some chores around the camp while he kept his eyes out for Charles around. Either Charles was actively avoiding him or was truly busy because it seemed like whenever Arthur would look for him the man was never around the camp. With a sigh Arthur picked up a bail of hay, carrying it almost halfway across camp- whoever decided to put the horses so far off had made an incredibly dumb choice, before Karen walked over with a grin on her face.

“Well now Arthur, I heard some rumor floatin around about you. Wanna tell me if its true or not? You really hackin up flowers?” Arthur rubbed  the bridge of his nose and turned to Karen. “You can trust me, I ain’t here to judge. But everyone who knows- and people are knowin now- we all want to know who you’re coughing for. Mary-beth thought it might be her, I saw you two dancin when Sean came back.”

“Karen-”

“Or you coughin for Tilly? Unless you’re doin it for me which is sweet Arthur but you know that Sean and I… Well… He’d put up a fight though I don’t think it’d be much of one for you.”

“Karen.” Arthur snapped her name and that seemed to get her to quiet down. “I don’t want to talk about it. Whole damn camp knows I’m coughin, fine, but I don’t need that person knowing until I’m ready.” Karen raised her brow, taking a long drag of the cigarette in her fingers.

“Lighten up would ya? It ain’t a death sentence.” She dropped the cigarette on the ground and stepped on it to put it out before smiling to Arthur. “But you know I don’t tell any secrets, I got plenty of em. I just want to know, maybe I can help.”

Arthur looked around the camp and gently put his hand on Karens shoulder, tugging her over gently. “I trust you with my life. Trust most of the people here with my life, but believe me when I say this isn’t something I want help with. You’ll find out eventually, and you’ll find out with the rest of the camp.” With a smile Arthur pat her shoulder and walked off before she could snap at him.

It was getting dark and Arthur was getting tired now, with no sign of Charles in the camp he decided to make his way over to his tent. Before he could even sit down he heard Dutch call out his name. With a sigh Arthur turned to him, ready to hear out whatever he had to say this time.

“Arthur, son I know you’re tired but I need you to do one last thing tonight.” Arthur rubbed his eyes and nodded to Dutch to tell him to continue. “Hosea thinks he has a job down in Emerald Ranch, and needs you down there tonight. It shouldn’t take long, you know Hosea is an in and out kind of guy, and you can sleep when you’re back.” Arthur reluctantly agreed to head down and see what Hosea needed. “Thank you son.”

Dutch turned and left him, so Arthur made his way back across the camp to the horses, climbing up onto his own to ride out. On the way out he almost rode into Charles, who looked like he just returned from a very good hunting trip, which made Arthur feel good since he hadn’t been able to catch anything earlier. Arthur smiled and tipped his hat to Charles and felt his heart flutter when Charles smiled back at him before the two of them rode past each other. He rode a bit quicker as he felt his chest tighten again before he began hacking up flower petals once more, spitting them out onto the ground.

``````````

Arthur finally arrived at Emerald Ranch, more tired now than before and running on the fact that Hosea wouldn’t let a simple job take too long and he’d be in his cot and sleeping hopefully before the sun rose. Hosea seemed happy to see Arthur, quickly introducing him to the man he was dealing with- Seamus. Arthur was not in the mood to deal with him if he was honest, the man looked like he didn’t want to deal with them either and it seemed like Hosea had probably pulled a hell of a stunt to even get the man to sit down and talk to him. Seamus obviously didn’t trust them and Arthur didn’t care, but Hosea seemed pushy.

After a quick conversation and a promise that it’d be all hushed and nobody would find out, Seamus gave Hosea and Arthur a job and sent them on their way. He was having them rob his cousin, didn’t give them any reason to be worried though since both of them knew that family matters would stay in the family and this was purely business.

Once they were away from the barn Hosea was quick to question him. “You couldn’t have played that any better?”

“Thought you wanted me to show some strong arm? Thats usually how it goes.”

“Yes but you know how this goes.” Hosea rode next to Arthur and gave him a worried look. “Are you still angry about those flowers? Gotta take it out on people we’re tryin’ to get money from is that it?” “Hosea…” Arthur sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “That ain’t it. This guy is a joke and you know it.”

“Thats why hes perfect. He won’t cause us any problems. A safe spot to fence wagons and coaches, well thats easy money for us.” Hosea leaned over and pat Arthur on the back. “But, really Arthur; Dutch and I are worried about you. We haven’t seen you do much talking to Charles lately and those petals don’t go away naturally, avoiding him isn’t going to work.”

Arthur could almost laugh at that. “Avoiding him? I’ve been tryin’ to talk to him. Feels like everytime I get up the courage to talk to him he’s nowhere to be found. Either he’s leaving camp when I show up or I’m leavin when he rides back in. I ran into him on the way out to come ‘n see you but I didn’t really have the time to say anything.”

“Now now, don’t put the blame on me. He was in camp when I left to come down here. So you haven’t been avoiding him at all? You sure about that?” No, Arthur wasn’t sure. As much as it was frustrating that they never seemed to be in camp at the same time, he also knew somewhere he was almost relieved they weren’t bumping into each other. It didn’t help the feelings and the petals at all, but it seemed to give Arthur an excuse for not talking to him. Arthur knew he could easily find Charles or wait around if he really wanted to, doing chores around the camp or what not until Charles rode back in.

“Hosea I ain’t sure its gonna work. I’m not sure hes… Well…” Arthur trailed off and waved his hand in the air like that was an explanation. Hosea had his horse trot out in front of Arthurs so Arthur would have to stop, and Hosea just raised his brow at Arthur to have him continue. “I ain’t sure hes into guys Hosea. I seen him around bars and he’s always tryin’ to hook up with a woman, never catch him glancin at a man the same way or- hell he barely glances at me when I’m around.” Arthur closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath through his nose. “I’m scared Hosea. You know how fast the disease can progress with rejection, we’ve seen it happen. Not to anyone important but we’ve seen it. Those people, they die in less than a week, sometimes they’re dead by the next morning.”

“You know if that happens doctors can remove it, sure it progresses quickly but we can always find you a doctor. I’m sure Dutch wouldn’t mind spending some money to get you healthy. Might be awkward as hell around Charles for awhile, but you could still survive. I don’t want to see you wither away because you can’t pull yourself to talk to someone, and I won’t watch you sink into a bottle again because you’re in love with someone.” Again. The word made Arthur flinch, made him remember back to when he was ‘in love’ with Mary and when they’d broken up, how he’d come back to camp and drank himself to the point of a blackout until Hosea hid away everything and made sure someone was with Arthur to keep him away from bars.

“I’ll… I’ll talk to him Hosea. When I get time I will. Tomorrow, maybe if Dutch doesn’t have me runnin’ around again and I can actually find Charles.” Hosea nodded, seeming a little happy with that answer.

“I’ll hold you to that one. Now, lets go rob this cousin by marriage before the sun comes up shall we?”

`````````

Arthur rode back into camp with Hosea, dead tired now from the very long day he had and his cot just seemed to be screaming his name. He hitched up his horse, giving her a carrot and a sugar cube before he finally made his way over to his tent. Noticing a letter on the table he had, Arthur picked it up and felt bile rise in the back of his throat as he immediately recognized the handwriting. Mary, of course it was Mary, writing a letter to him about meeting up. It made his heart jump as he read about her being in town and that she needed some sort of help, god damn of course she did. He set the letter down and sat on the edge of his cot, running his hands over his face as he thought about going to see her. Arthur knew they were long past every making up and getting back together, especially with flowers trying to grow in his lungs for someone else, but Arthur figured the least he could do is see what she needed help with.

Finally Arthur was able to lay down, he threw his arm over his eyes before closing them so he could sleep better- hopefully at least that was the plan.

[amplesalty]

TV Binging: Wild Wild Country (2018)

Is it really TV binging if it’s on Netflix? Serialised content binging?

This is not a story that is entirely new to me, having previously watched a video by Fredrik Knudsen as part of his ‘Down the Rabbit Hole’ series on Youtube. These are documentary type pieces that seem to flip between weird historical events/figures from history (The Collyer Brothers, Plague Doctors or The Austrian Wine Poisining) and more contemporary oddities from the internet age (Furries, The rise and fall of Spoony or TempleOS). The internet stuff in particular often deals in an individuals spiralling psychological state and this delicate subject matter mixed with some eerie background music and the pace/tone of Knudsen’s voice lend the videos a very creepy quality. I will give Knudsen credit though in that it could easily become a rubber necking way to point and laugh at people with genuine problems, he always seems to approach it in a mature and respectful manner.

His video on the subject of Rajneeshpuram is currently down at the time of writing due to a copyright claim from Osho International, one that I assume is spurious and done only as a means of public image control. At nearly 40 minutes it’s amongst the longer of his episodes (massively dwarfed by the ones on TempleOS and WingsOfRedemption though) but doesn’t have anywhere near the running time of this series which has 6 episodes in the region of 60-70 minutes.  I remember at the time of watching it there were points I felt needed expanding on. I can’t remember the detail exactly, I think it was either a mention of the Rajneesh becoming heavily armed or how they gained control of the town through the elections that felt glossed over, presumably for the sake of brevity. I’ve had this saved to my watch list since then hoping for a more detailed exploration of the events.

02/07/20 EDIT: Found an alternative version of Knudsen’s video that apparently had some minor changes made to it in order to skirt around the copywright issues. https://archive.org/details/20180123rajneeshpuramdowntherabbithole

Ep 1

It’s immediately obvious the difference between Knudsen’s work and this, Knudsen being very much outside whilst this has the budget to be able to speak to people directly involved, from the people of Antelope to Sheela herself. There’s a foreboding opening from the Antelope citizens talking about how at the time they became aware of the situation and what was about to happen, even if they could never have imagined how it would turn out. The show hints at the events that are yet to come with shots of court cases, talk of thousands of felonies being committed along the way.

Which is something to keep in mind because throughout the first episode, things are covered in a rather positive light from the Rajneeshies point of view.  Rather understandable stories of how people were drawn to this when they talk about their fractured relationships or reflections on their own existence, wanting to commit to something greater than themselves and the shallow, materialistic life they lived. Even Sheela’s backstory has a rather sympathetic light shone on it, speaking of her admiration of the Bhagwan, being in awe of him during her meetings with him and how she became a widow after moving to America at a young age.

That opening teaser of crazier things yet to come is perhaps necessary as I feel the first episode starts out a little slow, it does have to establish everything and since everything is being told fairly chronologically, there’s nothing massively dramatic going on in the early goings.

Ep 2

Things continue much in the same vein, the construction of the group’s city seen as this very virtuous mission. It is admirable what they were able to accomplish, turning to the best and brightest minds amongst their community in order to build infrastructure, to build roads, houses, farms, even a bloody airport!  In their minds they just wanted to build their own community free of the of the materialism and hatred in normal society and instead build upon the principles of sharing, peace and love. Only, in the eyes of the people of Antelope, not the kind of love they want to see. A lot of the archived footage of those residents paints them as these old fuddy duddies looking down on these outsiders with their wicked ideas of free love and open marriages.

There’s a rather dramatic shift about a third of the way through the episode when William Gary, serving as the Deputy Attorney General in Oregon at the time, talks about how they were looking into the situation at the time and were worried about the possibility of another incident similar to the Joneswtown massacre in 1976. This was a settlement established by a new religious movement founded by Jim Jones in Guayana and culminated in the loss of over 900 lives including a congressman who was visiting the area at the behest of concerned family members of people who had moved to the settlement. I’ll need to find another documentary on this story as well as this only gives a basic outline of it. It’s interesting that there’s a strong link between the two given that the daughter of the congressman is one of the people that moved to the new city but she actually speaks out at any comparisons between the two.

From here, the tension between the group and the locals of Antelope escalate as surrounding farmers worry about the effects on their land that erecting a city might have. They start getting politics and lawyers involved and you think that might be the end of it but that’s when the Rajneesh get smart; if they can’t build their own town, they’ll just buy another one. And by sheer chance, that other one just so happens to be Antelope. Sure is a lot of houses and land on sale in that town for dirt cheap prices. Lot of old folk too that talk a big game about never selling up but when someone comes around flashing the cash, it’s kinda hard for them to resist.

Maybe it’s just that modern, leftist way of thinking but it does sound kinda bad when you have a bunch of old, white American’s going on TV, telling an Indian based group to get out and openly making threats of violence towards them. Meanwhile, the Rajneesh just take the calm approach of questioning how can the locals tell them to get out of ‘their town’ when this is everyones town and make accusations of bigotry. Some of the Rajneesh followers try and defend their actions by essentially saying it’s a free country but Sheela is a bit more blunt about it when she says that they were exploiting a loophole. There’s something really chilling about how measured and calculated everything is as they slowly infiltrate the town by buying up more and more of the land. It’s like something out of a horror movie, this whole town can see this threat coming but they’re just powerless to stop it. Even when they take the drastic measure of trying to disincorporate the town, the Rajneesh manage to out vote them. There’s a shot in the aftermath of the results where the Rajneesh are celebrating and the townsfolk look utterly crushed that is quite haunting.

There’s a lot of talk of the townsfolks’ slogan in the build up to the vote; ‘better dead than red’, making reference to the robes that the Rajneesh dress in, the idea that they’d rather see the town dead than have the Rajneesh take over. After the vote, one woman makes a rallying cry that someone has to step in before the entire state turns red. I can’t help but feel that the whole red part can be read into a little bit given that they probably weren’t that far removed from the worries that communism might overthrow America. And it’s not like Americans have any history of forcibly taking the land of a native people associated with the colour red or anything...

Tensions only promise to escalate from here though as the episode culminates with footage of the bombing of Hotel Rajneesh in Portland, a Rajneesh spokesman saying they will take any steps necessary to defend themselves in the face of such violence and Sheela talking about how at that point they had to go out and arm themselves in order to defend themselves when no one else would. Maybe those Antelope folks were wrong, clearly going out to arm yourselves with assault rifles in the name of protecting ones self and their family is as American as apple pie.

Ep 3

It’s a little unsettling to go from this peaceful community to the sight of several people in fatigues practicing their arm with machine guns. Something that Sheela is very quick to frame that they were pushed to, that they never had a single gun in their community until their hotel was bombed.

The Rajneesh council take hold but give some token seats to traditional residents, not enough to do anything about the sweeping changes brought forward like renaming the town, streets and introducing a new police force called the ‘Peace Force’. They are likened more to a ‘harassment force’ by the natives though, patrolling the streets with flashing lights late at night, arresting people speaking out about the Rajneesh and openly carrying their weapons. For a town of less than 100 people, it’s a little heavy handed but presumably done as a show of power or even just to rub people’s faces in the fact that they won. There’s a continuing sense of something bubbling under the surface just waiting to explode with talk of civil war, news reporters being monitored by the Peace Force and gun stores in neighbouring cities recording record interest.

There’s something delightful to watching Sheela in all the archive TV appearances she was involved in, very confident and smug at times. When one critic speaks of the wealth of the Rajneesh and the fleet of some 13, 14 Rolls Royces that the Bhagwan has, Sheela quite happily corrects them that it is in fact 17 and it’ll be 20 come next week. She’s very strong minded in the way she defends the Rajneesh and challenges those interviewing her but at the same time she can be rather brash and impulsive. There’s a moment when one lady is criticising her and her rebuttal is just a rather blunt ‘Oh fuck you’.

It’s so far a rare flaw into was has always seemed like a very calculated plan, almost to the point that has me questioning just how much research did they do into this whole plan. It’s been portrayed like they’re always just reacting to what other people are doing and only out to defend themselves but that doesn’t seem to be the case.

Case in point, they start bussing in wave after wave of homeless people from around the country under the guise of providing help to the needy. A noble endeavour and another ringing endorsement for their PR. These are people who have been shunned by society, war veterans in some cases who have sacrificed so much for their country only to have nothing to show for it. Now the only people standing up for them are the Rajneesh, a people who in their own mind are being persecuted themselves. All they ask in return is that you vote for them in the upcoming county elections...

Part of the news footage shown is one of the officials being questioned on voting laws, the point being raised that it’s the easing of voter regulations that will allow these out of towners to come in and vote against them. There really is something super villainy how the Rajneesh are systematically using all these different American laws and ideals and turning them back on their own people. But that point about more lax regulations and Oregon being seen as one of the more lenient states in that regard does make me wonder if it was picked out specifically in order to run this plan or whatever it’s all just coincidence.

Officials see where this plan is heading, especially when they figure that the Rajneesh will have thousands upon thousands of voters that will outnumber them so when a bus load of Rajneeshi homeless turn up to register to vote in Oregon, they’re promptly told that all new voter registration has been suspended. In context you see why they’re doing it but it’s kind of a bad look for government officials to suddenly deny people their right to vote. Especially when it’s suddenly African American’s that are usually the ones on camera as examples of the Rajneesh homeless. Again, is that just a coincidence, selective use of footage by the film makers or a calculated move by the Rajneesh as another example of the bigotry they’ve faced?

Sheela really is becoming more and more a figurehead of the movement with her TV appearances and rallying of the supporters. There’s a point as well where it’s mentioned she has private meetings with the Bhagwan each night before returning to inform everyone what has been discussed and what their next moves are. Just how much control does the Bhagwan have though, whos to say she isn’t just making up all the plans herself and telling everyone it’s his command?

By now, the presentation of the Rajneesh and Sheela particularly is starting to shift as their actions become increasingly drastic. With the homeless voter loophole closed, their ace in the hole isn’t so valuable anymore and when reports of some bad apples come to light, orders come down to sedate the homless by spiking the beer supply issued to them with their evening meal. It comes a little out of nowhere and isn’t really reflected on by anyone in the documentary. Then the episode ends with talk of Sheela wanting to escalate matters in order to win the election, even if it means murder...

Ep 4

Starts with inspector talking about a visit to view some of the construction, how they’re initially blocked getting into the city as a road is closed off due to an ‘accident’. Then, when they do get in, they’re fobbed off when they start asking to look inside some buildings. ‘Oh, there’s nothing important in there. Just janitorial supplies.’ ‘Oh, it’s locked and I don’t have the key’. The man reveals that it later transpired that the building he was intending to look in turned out to be their lab so he wonders how things might have played out differently had he pressed the issue. This sounds very cinematic, I can imagine it in my head playing out as a henchman is sneakily cocking a handgun behind his back ready to take out the inspector before he uncovers the truth, smiling politely when the inspector goes along with the story and decides to head home instead.

There’s something very ominous about the Bhagwan finally breaking his silence of 4 years to denounce the now departed Sheela, basically throwing her under the bus for any number of things with accusations of attempted murders within the commune itself and the surrounding communities. It almost feels like a reversal of one of my earlier thought, now she’s not here to defend herself, who’s to say he isn’t using that to make himself look better? Blame her for all this stuff in order to bring everyone back onto his side.

Also pretty chilling with the final statement of ‘If the police will not take action, then my people will take action’ as the footage immediately cuts to a shot of a Rajneesh security guard complete with assault rifle. It’s weird that all this build up of potential violence has suddenly shifted into a civil war of sorts.

Ep 5

Feels like we’re literally going down a rabbit hole when they search Sheela’s old house which seems to have a network of secret rooms that each contain multiple other secret doors and tunnels with switches hidden away in things like air coniditioning units.

There’s a fantastic shot of her paperwork including a book titled “How to Kill (Vol. V)” by John Minnery and a book titled ‘Techniques of HARASSMENT’ which has a delightfully cartoonish front cover. I would encourage you to look up the aforementioned ‘How to Kill’ if only for some of the accompanying blurb and reviews related to it.

Lousy Obama government, cracking down on our freedoms! They’ll put you on a watchlist just for buying this book, like when you ask your school library for a copy of Mein Kampf or the Communist Manifesto. If Forest Whitaker taught us anything though it’s that Ghost Dog didn’t have any trouble killing.

A rather scathing review from Drew who demands more detail in his murder instruction manuals. It’s just another example of ‘the man’ censoring our attempts to teach the unwashed masses how to make their own homemade guns. This was before the advent of 3D printers though, I’m sure every Tom, Dick and Harry has their own downloaded rifle these days.

There’s also an amazing story of potential tampering of the local water supply, a unverified story mind you, where someone had heard that beavers are ridden with bacteria so they had sought to introduce beavers into the water supply. However, after finding that the potential entry point had a mesh covering preventing directly putting the animals in, they then killed the beavers, liquefied the bodies and then poured that into the water. Again, only allegedly. Granted that took a rather sour turn once the killing of the beavers was introduced but I can’t help but be amused at something that ridiculous. I guess it reduces the possibility of connecting it to anyone is they were to be discovered. You might find a paper trail for chemicals but you find a few beavers swimming in a dam and you might chalk that up as bad luck.

In what seems to be a running theme in this series, there’s even more talk about the stockpile of arms that the Rajneesh have assembled and the possibility that the government might end up having to mount a full scale assault on this community in order to enact their plans to arrest the suspects in their investigations. One news report suggests they have 96 AK-47 rifles and 1 million rounds, with one of the Antelope contributors suggesting their arms outnumbered that of the entire combined police forces in Oregon.

But it’s all for nought when the Rajneesh basically smuggled the Bhagwan out in the middle of the night on a jet. It does feel a little sensationalist of the producers of this series to keep building up to these supposed skirmishes that will take place but never actually do.

Ep 6

Another thing that seems to be consistent throughout is the reserved manner in which the apparent crimes of the Rajneesh are handled. Talk of assassinating politicians, the sudden outbreak of food poisining or highjacking planes in order to use them on a suicide mission to crash into a county building very quickly comes and goes, never really being focused on or allowed to settle.  Maybe it’s a way of underlining just how causally the Rajneesh ultimately viewed these acts, thinking nothing of hurting other people so long as they gained from it. There is some hesitation and remorse from the people recounting these stories but with the overall sympathetic slant of the series in my view, it can come across a little apologetic.

Thankfully, the final episode seems to indicate it was more of a pacing or story telling choice, with them now really going all in on everything once the government has access to the inner workings of the Rajneesh and have an informant ready to tell all. Whilst Sheela was prosecuted for all manner of poisonings, arsons, assaults and conspiracy to commit murder, the Bhagwan himself rather tamed in comparison with only charges relating to immigration fraud that was eventually bargained out to him agreeing to the leave the country.

The part that stands out though is Jane Stork or Ma Shanti B. Hiding out in Germany in order to avoid extradition to America for prosecution for her part in Sheela’s plans, she receives news of her son having a terminal illness over in Australia but due to the outstanding warrant for her arrest, she’s unable to travel unless she goes and faces the music back in the US. She describes herself as throwing herself at the mercy of the court, something she’s given as she’s sentenced to time served and becomes a free woman. It’s all told in a very triumphant tone, something you’d normally get in a story with an innocent person finally being exonerated. Like there’s all these drawings peppered throughout the footage with a very cold, shadowy look to them up to the point where she is essentially freed, where the colours become much warmer and clear. It’s very odd, not least because that freedom is now tinged with the fact that it’s not much of a celebration considering she has to go watch her son die.

Being the finale, the episode looks at the ramifications on the Rajneesh community itself, with both its spiritual and admistrative figureheads gone, it’s position becomes untenable and people start to move away. It’s quite a sorrowful piece, with people reflecting on their time there and one person even being reluctant to go in spite of what’s happening, insisting he’ll be the last person out of there and that they’ll have to have to come and physically remove him. Even the talking heads within the series still seem very attached to the community all these years later, with Philip Toelkes (Swami Prem Niren) speaking passionately about the continued success of the Bhagwan’s teachings to this very day and being visibily moved when talking of his passing.

It’s one of things I’m taking away from this show, how surprisingly positive it’s looked at by those involved and even the show itself. Maybe I’ve just interpreted it in a different way then it was intended but this was ultimately a group, or at least niche sections of it, responsible for the largest bioterrorist attack in the US. It’s a shame that the Knudsen episode is down as it would be interesting to look at it again for comparison, I can’t seem to find a mirror of it anywhere either. He is quite clinical and matter of fact though so I suspect it would be more damning as I think it covers a lot of food poisoning and plotted assassinations.

I think the most interesting parts to me though are the middle block of episodes covering the growth of the Rajneesh community and its interactions with the wider community around it. Again, the fact that the producers could draw upon all of this archived news footage gives you the chance to see what reactions were like to the saga at the time. There’s even a clip of Johnny Carson leading a goodbye song to the Bhagwan when news comes out of him being deported. I was just really fascinated with the way that Sheela manipulated the virtues of American society, the supposed land of freedom and opportunity, to her own ends.

I would encourage anyone to give the show a watch, if only to witness the crazy turn of events as the Rajneesh go to greater and greater extremes to reach their goals. It’s a lot like 2020; each time you think you’ve reached a new low and have bottomed out, the floor suddenly gives way to new unthinkable depths.

[starcookieuniverse]

I Shot The Wolf

Photo by Virginia Johnson on Unsplash

Setting: 

Small town in Indiana called Fairmount. There’s only one store in town run by a man named Richard Green. There’s a small diner there that is the main hangout spot for all the local residents. Farm land surrounds them. The only thing the high school kids have to do is perform rituals for fun.

Characters:

Davy- older man in his 40s, a simple farmer who always tries to do what’s right

Drew- son of Davy, 17 years old, likes to hang out with friends and play his guitar

Situation: A werewolf is sighted in the small town and the residents are not okay with that. They convince each other to go on a hunt. 

ACT ONE

Noise can be heard at Sal’s Diner. All of the locals are there discussing something and trying to make sense of it. 

Lester: “I saw it. I know what I saw. I’m not making shit up. Y'all would do right to believe me.”

Sal: “I doubt it, Lester. You too old to see something right in front of your face much less something a 100 feet in front of you.”

Lester: “I know I saw it.”

Susie: “What did you see again?”

Davy enters the diner after a long day on the farm. He’s curious as to what everyone has gathered around for.

Sal: “Well, look it’s Davy. He’ll make sense of the situation.”

Davy: Hey Sal. What’s going on around here?”

Sal: “Lester here is trying to convince all of us that he seen something running around his farm late last night. He wants some of us to go out with him to try and catch it. You’ll never believe what he said he saw.”

Lester: “Now, Davy, I know I saw it. These people don’t believe me, but you gotta. Our farms are right next to each other, so if it’s on my farm, then it could be yours next. 

Susie: “Come on, Lester. It’s crazy. You sound crazy for even saying it.”

Davy: “What is it that you saw, Lester?”

Lester: “Well, I… I… I saw a… werewolf.”

Everyone in the diner laughed. 

Davy: “Calm down everyone… Now, what makes you say that?”

Lester: “I went out, because I heard the dogs barking. I figured some animal was trying to get a chicken or two. I went out to try and save my chickens. I got my gun, flashlight and headed out the back door. As I’m walking towards the chicken coop, I glance up and my flashlight shines on a pair of red eyes.”

Sal: “Red eyes? You didn’t say that before when you were telling the story.”

Lester: “Well, I just remembered it. Shut up, Sal. As I was saying, I glanced up and saw a pair of red eyes looking at me. It.. it had the body of man. It was tall. Stood on two legs. But, it had fur all over its body. It had a long snout like a dog too. Sharp teeth. I shot at it. I shot at it so many times that I’m surprised you didn’t hear it Davy. But, it ran. It ran so fast. I didn’t kill it.”

Susie: “Did you have silver bullets?”

Lester: “Why would I, Susie?”

Susie: “Isn’t that what it takes to kill a werewolf?”

A stranger comes rushing in to the diner. She’s clearly distraught. Susie goes to grab her and help her into a booth. Sal rushes to give her a glass of water. The rest are uneasy. 

Davy: “Are you okay miss?”

Stranger: “I… I…”

Susie: “It’s okay miss. Take your time. I’m going to call Bill.”

Stranger: “Who’s Bill?”

Davy: “He’s the sheriff, ma’am. Don’t worry. We are all here to help. Now, why do you keep glancing out the window? Someone chasing you?”

Stranger: “I don’t know. I don’t know what I saw.”

Lester: “What do you mean by that lady?”

Stranger: “I don’t know.”

Davy: “We’re only here to help, miss. You okay? Is there something we should know?”

Stranger: “I saw something out there. It tried to get me. I almost died.”

Sal: “What was trying to get you?”

Stranger: “It was a monster.”

Lester: “Tell us what happened.”

Stranger: “I was driving down the highway when I ran over something. It felt like a big bump in the road, but I didn’t see anything. So, I stopped to see what it was that I hit. I wanted to make sure my car wasn’t damaged. I pulled over on the side of the road, and I got out to look. I didn’t see anything in the road. I looked around, but I still didn’t see anything. I looked under my car and didn’t see anything. I walked around my car, but I didn’t see a dent or anything until... “

Davy: “Until what?”

Stranger: “Until I looked at the back of my car… there were scratch marks on the trunk. I backed up and got into my car quickly. I turned it on, put it in drive and then I looked up… it was staring right back at me. It had red eyes.”

Lester: “Red eyes? Did you say red eyes?”

Stranger: “Yes.”

Lester: “Did it stand on two legs like a man, but it had fur all over its body? Did it look like a rabid dog?”

Stranger: “Yes. How did you know?”

Everyone gasped in the diner. Could it all be true?

Sal: “I’ve heard enough. Where’s Bill, Susie? We need to do something about this.”

Susie: “Bill said he’s on his way. He should be here in a couple minutes.”

Lester: “Now do all of you believe me? I told you I wasn’t lying.”

Sal: “Calm down, Lester. Let’s just wait until Bill gets here.”

Lester: “I say we act now before the damn thing tries to kill all of us. We should go hunt it.”

Everyone in the diner agrees.

Davy: “Don’t get people excited, Lester. We need to think about this.”

Sheriff Bill enters the diner.

Bill: “Who’s car is that outside? It’s missing a tail light and the sideview mirror looks like it has been ripped off. There are claw marks on the trunk.”

Davy: “What do you mean?”

Bill: “I mean what I said, Davy.”

Everyone in the diner rushes outside to look at the stranger’s car. They noticed the side view mirror dangling on the passenger side. A tail light busted out. Then, they noticed the scratches… scratches on the trunk that look like deep claw marks as if some kind of large animal did it. After they’re done, they go back into the diner. Fear creeps into the hearts of each person there. 

Bill: “Now, do y'all want to tell me what’s going on here?” 

Lester: “Me and this lady here saw a monster.”

Bill: “You told me that crazy story this morning, Lester. Why are you getting everyone excited over nothing?”

Stranger: “It’s true. I saw it too.”

Bill: “Ma’am, I don’t know you, but I know one thing… monsters don’t exist.” 

Lester: “She’s not lying, Bill. Get your head out of your ass and listen to her. Go ahead and tell him the story you told us miss.”

Stranger: “I saw a monster out there on the highway. It hit my car and made me stop on the side of the road. I got out to look around and inspect my car. I saw those... claw marks on my trunk and it scared me, so I got back into my car. I started to drive, but there it was in front of me. It just stood there staring at me. I pressed down on the gas and swerved to go around it, but it grabbed my side view mirror and ripped it off. I pressed down on the gas harder. I kept going faster and faster, but… the monster chased after me. It was running. It could run so fast. It… it… could keep up with my car. It jumped on the back of my car and scratched at my trunk. I jerked the car a bit to try and shake it off. It held on tight. I just kept swerving left and right until it finally it fell off and busted my tail light. It lay down in the middle of the road, but I didn’t stop. I kept going. I kept going.”

Susie: “What are we going to do Bill? We need to do something!”

Bill: “Now, Susie, calm down. Everyone calm down. The monster Lester described to me this morning sounded a lot like a--”

Lester: “Werewolf! It’s a werewolf!”

Davy: “I mean, I hate to say it, but there’s just no way a werewolf could exist. It’s folklore.” 

Sal: “Then, how do you explain what they saw? This lady and Lester have never met before. They couldn’t have gotten together and made all this up. We should consider that maybe they’re telling the truth.”

Susie: “OH! What’s that!!” 

Everyone in the diner turns towards the window to look outside. There’s a dark figure across the street with glowing red eyes. The people in the diner cower in fear. Bill heads out the door taking his gun in his hand and aiming it toward the monster. Sal grabs his shotgun from behind the counter and follows in pursuit. Davy and Lester stand in the doorway ready to barricade the door, if the monster decides to come in for a visit. The monster lets out a snarling howl. 

Sal: “I say we shoot it, Sheriff.”

Bill: “Alright, Sal. Open fire.”

Bill and Sal open fire. They shoot directly at the werewolf. They manage to hit it in the chest a couple of times, but the monster seems to be unfazed by the shots. Instead, it runs up the street and darts down an alley way that leads to the fields. Bill and Sal head back into the diner.

Lester: “Do you think you killed it?”

Bill: “I’m not sure.”

Sal: “Susie, what did you say earlier? You said something about killing a werewolf.”

Davy: “She said silver bullets kill a werewolf. Silver bullets.”

Sal: “Did you have silver bullets in your gun, Bill?”

Bill: “No. Did you?”

Sal: “No.”

Davy: “It looks like we may need to get some.”

Bill: “Okay, listen up everyone! I need a hunting party. I don’t think Sal and I killed that thing, but we definitely shot it and slowed it down. It’s wounded. I need all the men to go home, gather all your guns and bullets, especially your silver ones. Bring your families here at the diner. We will leave a few men here to protect them and look out for them, while a bunch of us go out and hunt. There’s a monster on the loose and we need to kill it. Who knows if there’s more out there? Now, go on! Come back as quickly as you can.”

Everyone in the diner rushed out to their cars and trucks. They sped off as fast as they could. They each went home and gathered up their families, their guns, and all the silver bullets they had. They explained to their wives and children what just happened and fear leaped into their hearts. Nothing could have prepared them for what was about to unfold.

Play by Megan Brooke

[cksmart-world]

The completely unnecessary news analysis

by Christopher Smart

January 14, 2020

COURT: INLAND PORT LAND GRAB IS COOL

& GOODBYE SHITHEADS HELLO VANCOUVER

It's like this, government closest to the people is best — except when it isn't. This is the unofficial mantra of the Utah Legislature, where conservative Republicans keep a close watch on freedom and other stuff they want. Last week, a state court ruled that when lawmakers took control of 16,000 acres from Salt Lake City and its elected officials, it was in accordance with the Utah Constitution, which is divinely inspired. The land grab, er uh legislative action, is for the so-called Inland Port, where trucks and trains from all over would bring freight to a sea of warehouses and then shipped elsewhere by more trucks and trains. It would add thousands of tons of pollutants to our already poisonous air and further clog our roadways with 18-wheelers — but that's not the point, stupid. A board of good ol' boys, er uh, administrators, would control development and taxes — while elected Salt Lake City officials suck their thumbs. And that's just fine, the judge said, because the Inland Port “is sufficiently infused with a state purpose.” That is, it will create lots of low-paying jobs. Coincidentally, this not-so-slight-of-hand sets the stage for power brokers, er uh, community leaders, to make bank thanks to their buddies, er uh, administrators on the board. The judge forgot to mention that. See, it's like this, the people's will matters, except when it doesn't.

MIKE LEE: I'M NO BENEDICT ARNOLD,

GINGER ROGERS MAYBE

Two words for Utah Sen. Mike Lee: “De Caf.” Holy smokes, Lee totally lost it after a classified administration briefing on the killing of Iranian Gen. Qasem Soleimani left him H-O-T. It's “probably the worst briefing I have seen in the nine years I’ve served in the United States Senate,” Lee said. That, of course, got President Trump's undies in a bunch and sent tremors through his PR team at Fox News Channel For Real Americans. Windbag Lou Dobbs compared Lee to Benedict Arnold — ouch, the only thing worse is being likened to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Fox News host Bret Baier barked that Lee must be suffering from “Trump Derangement Syndrome” — an aberration usually reserved for idiot liberals. And Sen. Marco Rubio whined that he wouldn't share his milk with Mikey at lunch. Then before you could say, “Party at Mar-A-Lago,” Lee was praising the president and blaming his subordinates for force-feeding Donald bad advice. The senator was dancing backward faster than Ginger Rogers in Flying Down to Rio. “The president has made us look stronger through the restraint of power, not through the excessive abuse of it. And I applaud him for that,” Lee said. Tango, anyone? And don't forget to remember, Mike, to stay away from the 100 % Colombian coffee, you could splat out and get into big trouble with Fox & Friends.

SO LONG SHITHEADS, HELLO VANCOUVER

Want to get away? Meghan Markle, aka the Duchess of Sussex, couldn't bolt fast enough from Buckingham Palace — and it wasn't the bread pudding. The biracial American actress had enough of the churlish slights from the stiff Royals and the nasty British tabloids. So, it was off to Canada, where she will be treated like a Chinese panda. Meanwhile, everyone in Britain is in a frenzy. The Brits have been glued to the Royal soap opera because the Gang of Windsor is more important than Sir Elton John. (Sorry Wilson, maybe we should have said John Lennon.) Things are so ugly that statues of Meghan and Harry were ripped out of Madame Tussauds wax museum. That said, why would anyone in the good ol' USA give a rat's pajamas about the Royal family — Adele, at least, can sing. After some serious navel-gazing, the staff here at Smart Bomb came up with some prescient insights: Americans are titillated when Prince Charles or Prince Andrew screw up — we love to see Royal pain. And we smacked our lips when Harry brought Meghan home — it was a Guess-Who's-Coming-To-Dinner moment for a white dynasty that has wreaked havoc on people of color across the globe. Meghan Markle isn't exactly Mahatma Gandhi, but she did make the Queen spit up in her tea and hide the silver.

HILLARY MUST BE GUILTY OF SOMETHING

Well, dang it, that slippery Hillary Clinton escaped the hanging tree once again, despite general knowledge by Trumpers and Jason Chaffetz that she is a crooked, deceitful traitor who has cooked up all kinds of evil stuff from Benghazi to Whitewater. A two-year investigation by the Department of Justice and U.S. Attorney for Utah John Huber wrapped up last month but found “nothing of value” to prosecute. What? How could this be? Trump and Michael Flynn and Jon Voight and a host of great Americans led crowds chanting “Lock Her Up. Lock Her Up” — and now nothing? Even disgraced FBI boss James Comey investigated her emails a couple of times. And former chairman of the House Oversight Committee, Utah's own Jason Chaffetz investigated Hillary and Benghazi nine — count 'em, nine — times because he and his Republican comrades  knew that then-Secretary of State Clinton was guilty of something, or everything. If not, at least they could make the public believe she was dishonest and dastardly. After all, you've got to give people someone to hate. It's a Republican truism. And it worked. It all worked brilliantly. Many uninformed Americans found it impossible to vote for Hillary because unlike her Republican opponent in the last presidential election, she is dishonest, lies all the time, screws people over at will, has delusions of grandeur and cheats on her taxes. Lock Her Up. Lock Her Up.

Post Script — That's it for another feel-good week here at Smart Bomb, where we keep track of Royal intrigue so you don't have to. Hold on to your hat, here's some really BIG news (It was on the front page of the Salt Lake Tribune, no less): Abby Huntsman is leaving the View — that's the TV talk show where Whoopi Goldberg and Meghan McCain scream at each other and throw chairs and stuff. The staff here at Smart Bomb doesn't know exactly why the daughter of Jon and Mary Kaye Huntsman is making a quick exit from such a great gig. Maybe it's because Jon is running for governor of Utah and doesn't want to be linked in anyway to communists, like Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldberg. Or maybe it's because Meghan McCain threw Perrier at Abby backstage and called her a baby lover. Anyway, her pops, Jon Huntsman, is in a tight contest, running against Lt. Gov. Spencer Cox, former Speaker of the House Greg Hughes, Salt Lake County Councilwoman Aimee Newton Winder, Businessman Jeff Burningham, some dude named Jason Christensen and one Democrat — Zachary Moss. Big secret: Whoever wins the Republican nomination will be the next governor. Sorry Moss, but you are a stranger in a strange land. Many Utahns vote for Republicans, like Donald Trump and Greg Hughes, because they could never vote for a Democrat. For one thing, Democrats are immoral baby killers who want to restrict guns in schools. They want to rob the defense budget and spend more money on education and health care. And worst of all, they believe in climate change. If global warming was real, glaciers in Greenland would be melting and Australia would be in flames.

OK, Wilson, wake up the band and take us out with a little something for everyone, who, like Meghan Markle and Abby Huntsman, has had enough:

When are you gonna come down? / When are you going to land? / I should have stayed on the farm / I should have listened to my old man... So goodbye yellow brick road / Where the dogs of society howl / You can't plant me in your penthouse / I'm going back to my plough...

[summerdutkowsky]

You're gonna hate me: 6, 7, 9, 10, 12-15, 19, 21-24, 30, 35-39, 47-49, 55-57, 60, 63, 64, 72-75, 81, 82, 91, 96, 97, 100, 107, 110, 111, 113, 114, 119, 125, 128, 129, 133, 135-139, 145, 146, 148-150

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? Genuine, funny, caring people who make me laugh and get my sense of humor and make me feel cared for and make my heart full

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? I hope so

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Not... really? I mean I’ve never had it, not that high on a priority list for me personally, but yeah nah I have no problem talking about it

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Fem probably, the bff is always at the receiving end of my deep nonsense convos

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now:

Feel it Still by Portugal. The Man

Bottom of the River by Delta Rae

Hold On by ZZ Ward

It’s Tricky by Run DMC

Want You Back by HAIM

The rest behind the cut because omg so so many numbers. I’m sorry for people on mobile

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? Y E S

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? idon’tknowher.gif if it exists I’ve never seen one

15. What good thing happened this summer? Um, well the good things are still to come (I’m seeing Green Day in concert in September) but so far my favorite band acknowledged my existence and we have a cute litter of kittens that adopted our house as theirs. Also I’m getting healthier so that’s nice too

19. Do you like bubble baths? Yes. I only like bubble baths. Showers suck

21. What are you bad habits? I have an addictive personality so I get hooked on things really easily, most of the time not healthy. I also stay up way too late if that’s considered a habit

22. Where would you like to travel? Wherever my friends live. And Italy

23. Do you have trust issues? Yes

24. Favorite part of your daily routine? The morning, especially when I’m home alone and it’s just me making my breakfast with my music up super loud and I get to sing as loud as I want and then I eat and catch up on my shows. It’s the most peaceful time. From noon-3pm is prime me time, the best time of day

30. Do you ever want to get married? Maybe if I find the right person but it’s not super important to me atm

35. Would you rather live without TV or music? Music. Though that’s a tough choice

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Oh yes. Absolutely

37. What do you say during awkward silences? Nothing, silences are only awkward if you make them awkward. I personally love sitting with people in silence and I’ve been told I have a calming presence so silences aren’t awkward

38. Describe your dream girl/guy? Someone caring and funny and makes me happy and knows how to make me feel better with just their presence

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Places I can afford. Also Target, and any “nerdy” store

47. Have you ever been high? Yes, but not like you think, like I’ve been in the hospital and on painkillers so that kind of high

48. Have you ever been drunk? Noooo never ever. I come from a family of alcoholics so I touch alcohol as little as possible

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? No? I mean I’d like my family to not see how sappy I am with my datemate because they don’t necessarily know I’m queer as hell so I don’t want them to know that but like something bad? No

55. Favourite blog? Um. Idk. All my friends? Is that a cop out? Probably but I really only come to this hellsite for my friends since we share fandoms and content

56. Favourite colour? Purple and neon orange

57. Favourite food? The beef souvlaki from my favorite greek restaurant

60. Ever won a competition? For what? I used to win a lot of awards for grades and stuff in school but competitions? No. I never competed for anything

63. Ever been in love? Yes. Absolutely and it’s wonderful

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? Well my boyfriend at the time and I were in sixth grade and he sent his friend up to me at the end of the day to ask if I would kiss him and my gay ass was like *shrug* sure and so I did in front of my bus because he walked me there and his lips were super dry and chapped and he smelled like farm and the next day he sent the same friend up to ask me if I would “french kiss him” and I immediately said “no and please tell him I don’t want to go out with him anymore” 

72. What colour are your towels? Purple

72. How many pillows do you sleep with? Two

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Not with but I have a bunch close by

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? Well I used to have a ton but now I only have my favorite 20 or so scattered through out my room

75. Favourite animal? kiwi birds, raccoons, and capybaras

81. Favourite tv show? Adam Ruins Everything, Wynonna Earp, Underground, Sweet Vicious, Crazy Ex Girlfriend...... I watch a lot of shows so it’s impossible to pick just one.... 

82. Favourite movie? Alto (please watch this movie), I Can’t Think Straight, DEBS, Pleasantville, Pitch Perfect, Guardians of the Galaxy, Wonder Woman. I have a lot of favorites.......

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? Yes, always (spoiler: it’s usually my mom)

96. Favourite actress? Jessica de Gouw, Jessica Chastain, and Ruth Negga

97. Favourite actor? Idris Elba

100. How are you feeling? Terrible. Like really awful. Life is terrible

107. Have you ever been on a horse? No. Horses scare me. I’d like to ride one one day but I’m terrified of them

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? Hahahaha yes

111. Do you have trust issues? Yes. We covered this

113. What was your childhood nickname? Well I had a few. My uncle used to call me Eggy because that’s what I called myself when I was a wee babe, so he called me Eggy until I was in my teens. My aunt still calls me Megamoo when she sees me. My friends in school used to call me Eg. All of those nicknames I hate and only just started becoming okay with people calling me Meg

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? I walked to Canada by accident once but other than that I have literally never been out of the immediate area. The furthest I’ve gone is Rochester and just over the border into Canada. Someone please come take me away from here

119. Favourite book? 11.22.63 (Please please please please read this book. It changed me as a person and I have literally never loved a book more than I love that one) The Stand, The Dark Tower books (aka my personal Harry Potter series)

125. Do you believe in true love? Maybe? Idk it’s hard to say but yeah I think I do

128. Would you change your name? No. It took a long time but I finally like my name

129. What your zodiac sign? Taurus and yes I am the literal definition of that sign

133. Favourite lyrics right now? “Your kisses are poison and all your words are treason” Cold Day in Heaven by Delta Rae (I have a lot of favorite lyrics but for some reason those are the ones that have been stuck in my head for weeks, it’s not even my favorite song??

135. Dumbest lie you ever told? Omg don’t make me do this. I was in fourth grade and I once told my mom that a friend’s mom said she didn’t want me playing with her daughter anymore because I didn’t like the girl (she was a mean girl) and didn’t know how to be direct??? So instead of just saying “mom this girl is mean and I don’t want to play with her anymore” I told my mom that the girl’s mom told me to stop playing with her daughter. She still believes it to this day and I hate that I can’t take it back

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? Open because it’s too fucking hot

137. How tall are you? 5′3″

138. Curly or Straight hair? On me? Straight

139. Brunette or Blonde? Brunette (assuming you’re talking about my hair color)

145. Tea or Coffee? Both. Coffee in the morning, tea at night

146. Was today a good day? No. Not even a little bit but I did finish a super fucking long power point about Dr Who for the bff today and discovered another one I made about The Dark Tower and I’m really proud of them so if anyone wants to see what I wasted my day on let me know and I’ll send you the link

148. What’s your favourite quote? Top ten because I love quotes

“Life is tough, but darling so are you” 

“The man in black fled across the desert and the gunslinger followed”

“There is a battle of two wolves inside us. One is evil. It is anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, lies, inferiority and ego. The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope humility, kindness, empathy and truth. The wolf that wins is the one you feed”

“Stay afraid, but do it anyway”

“...stupidity is one of the two things we see most clearly in retrospect. The other is missed chances.”

“But I believe in love, you know; love is a uniquely portable magic. I don’t think it’s in the stars, but I do believe that blood calls to blood and mind calls to mind and heart to heart.”

“Life turns on a dime. Sometimes towards us, but more often it spins away, flirting and flashing as it goes: so long, honey, it was good while it lasted, wasn’t it?”

“The place where you made your stand never mattered. Only that you were there...and still on your feet.”

“A person can't change all at once.”

“I do not aim with my hand; he who aims with his hand has forgotten the face of his father.I aim with my eye.I do not shoot with my hand; he who shoots with his hand has forgotten the face of his father.I shoot with my mind.I do not kill with my gun; he who kills with his gun has forgotten the face of his father.I kill with my heart.”

And a bonus: “Go then, there are other worlds than these.”

149. Do you believe in ghosts? No

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? “If that guy Sam comes up to me and puts his arm around me and calls me “Buddy” one more time, I’m gonna complain.”  -Postcards From the Edge by Carrie Fisher

[abloomntime]

A Bloom In Time Ch24

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hc0n0c6a3XU

(I had to look up the prices and what the bill document said to get this right.)

Dead Bird Studios.

The place where for YEARS had been the birthplace of creativity and actors on the big screen. And now she was standing right in front of it. The others didn't look so fazed at the big building considering they had been there multiple times before but that didn't stop her from staring up in fascination at it all. It. WAS. HUGE!! WAY bigger than those tall buildings back on the moon. A giant logo sign of a black bird skull and film real decorated the outside on the big front there with the giant words under it reading DEAD BIRD STUDIOS. A parking lot stood between them and the entrance and they were already walking across it towards the entrance. To the far left of them, they could all see a bunch more of those cars parked into the rectangular spaced, not that Poppy was paying attention as they marched across in the hot sun beating down on them all. Poppy would be lying if she wasn't impressed, as she subconciously walked after the small group still walking, the shadow of the building fell over her and she involuntarily sighed feeling the harsh rays of the sun gone for a moment. Still following along after them up to the double doors of the building. The grown lady flinched when they opened on their own as soon as Cookie got near it and mumbled grumpily to herself about forgetting her purse and having to walk all the way back here on her day off of all things helping out and how it was so rude of her to make them all take this detour. Not that anyone minded as the children excitedly ran in past them inside. Poppy glanced wearily at the doors for a moment while passing, jumping a foot forward when it closed by themselves, blue eyes glanced between it and Cookie for a moment before following after the mumbling cat. The long hallway was pretty dark with a black carpet with bird skull patterns with lots of white squares lights barely lighting up the place. With a whoosh noise the doors up ahead opened on their own accord and the three children ran on through and into what looked like a well lit room. As they continued to persue the children down the rest of the hall she thought she heard some squeals of delight but she wasn't too sure yet. When she finally approuched the double pair of doors, they opened again with a whoosh for Cookie and Poppy flinched again...Before blinking and sticking her head into the lit room. A giant white Television set(computor) was sat on the counter which was the first thing she saw, and shiny marble floors reflected the bright lights above. There was a tired looking bird manning the counter as he calmly watched everything around him. Next to him was some kind of giant piece of heavy looking machinery, and as Poppy finally stepped in, she gawked at the sight of GIANT glass cases on either side of the room with shiny copies of trouphies safely sat inside with names of old movie directors of years past. But those only held her attention for a moment, above the trophies on either side were giant framed posters. On the right with a few penguins gathered was a strange looking instrument in disco lights, a ...slime monster??, and some penguin in an astronaut suit. To the right was a more western style of two seperate birds holding guns and a random cactus. Two doors were on either side and two signs by them each saying FILMING IN PROGRESS.

"DARLING!! You're back so soon?," A loud voice boomed out and Poppy yelped dropping her bags of clothing on the floor.

Who the voice belongs to was another moon penguin...But this one looked TOTALLY different from any other penguin she's seen before. He wore a ridiculous outfit with weirder shoes on his feet making him taller than the other penguins by a few inches, and he actually had hair and yellow eye brows styled up into some kind of weirder haircut, and last but certainly not least a giant pair of all black shaped sunglasses over his eyes. His beak was curled up in a smile as he approuched from the small crowd of three girls tailing after him as Cookie walked over to him.

"I wasn't expecting my best best network star to return so soon," he happily addressed her earning him a few embarrassed chuckles.

"Not exactly planned. I uh...Forgot my purse on set again and needed to run in and grab it. Can't exactly feed a bunch of hungry children without it now can I? H-How's the movie auditions so far?"

The penguin sighed and reached a flipper up to his forehead. "Easier said than done. There's the part of the wicked family who still need spaces filled in place, and the handsome prince, not to mention that I still have no one to play the concerned father and we only have a few months to put this together! I can't describe how much pressure I'm feeling..But I have a good feeling that this year will be in our favor for sure!"

Cookie smiled brightly. "Oh, I'm sure you'll find the perfect people to fill those roles soon. You always manage to pull off a wonderful display."

"*sigh* I sure hope so, Dear. I'd hate to have nothing to present for my efforts." His gaze turned up once he noticed movement by the doors as Poppy reached back down to pick her bags back up. "And I see you brought a new friend!" Poppy paused as she was approuched by the eccentric looking fella. "Why HELLO there, Darling! I don't believe we've met!"

"Uh..." Poppy had to blink to actually make sure she was seeing who she was actually seeing before shaking her head and standing up, giving a politely smile. "Howdy! I don't think we've met actually."

The penguin chuckled and shook his head. "We didn't and I never forget a pretty face, Darling. And who might you be?"

"I'm those two's temporarily babysitter," she answered pointed at two of the three children huddled by his side. "Until I can get back on mah feet that is. Kinda starting from scratch after a crazy wake up call."

"Well, it's an honor to meet you Darling." His whole being radiated positivity and his voice despite being loud was very welcoming, making Poppy smile brightly, "I take it this is your first time at a studio?"

She smiled a bit shyly. "I-Is it that obvious? hehe" She reached up to rub the back of her neck. "Uh...Y-Yeah. Do you work here?"

At this the penguin and Cookie shared a chuckle before he spoke. "Well, I should hope so. Or else my name isn't DJ Grooves."

Grooves?....DJ Grooves? As in THE Mr. Grooves Cookie had spoken about before? OH! He must've been the director she spot about earlier, that would've explained the way he dressed. This guy was a walking fat cat with deep pockets, but he looked rather friendly and cheerful to her. And not to brag, but she did have a good judge of character usually.

"OH! So YOU'RE this Mr. Grooves I've heard so much about."

He chuckled. "So you heard a lot about me? I'm flattered, Darling. Really I am-" He was interrupted when a rumble sounded out and Poppy grabbed at her stomach embarrased. "...Oh my, my, my. Hungry are we?"

"I haven't eaten since breakfast and we've been running around all day."

"Well, then I better get back there and find that darned thing." Cookie turned to Mr. Grooves with a smile. "Ya'll don't mind if I just run to the back real quick like and grab it do you?"

"Not at all, Darling. Be my guest." Cookie smiled and without another word turned and ran off towards the door on the fair right of the room. The giant thing creaked open and closed behind her as she disappeared into the area behind it. Poppy watched her go behind sighing and stretching out her back from the now uncomfortable weight of the heavy used farm equipment on her, but her attention went back to Mr. Grooves when he pointed towards the counter and spoke again. "Darling, if you want you can just place these bags right on over there with the other random things we brought in today. You look redder than an apple on the sun."

She nodded yes reaching up a hand to wipe at her face. "I feel like a baked apple too. ...Ya sure you don't mind?"

"Not at all, Darling. Not at all. Why don't you go do that and I'll have one of my assistants bring you out a glass."

"Well, if you're really sure."

She smiled and lugged her way over to the counter by the crate and weird machine thing. Placing the bags down by the crate, she shimmied the golf club bag of farming tools off her shoulders and into her hands, leaning them all carefully against the big ol' machine thing next to them. Sighing that her back didn't have weight on it anymore she stretched it out making her back pop. A few giggles made her look back over towards the small group of girls around the penguin. Bow was still pouting looking down at the clothes in disgust but looked up when the penguin adjusted the sunhat on her head, she looked up at him and Mr. Grooves said something to her. Poppy couldn't hear exactly what he said but it put a smile on Bow's face and he patted her head with a flipper. A smile returning to her face at the cute scene in front of her. A small creaking noise came from her left, and Poppy didn't notice the expensive camera starting to lean from the weight of her tools.

BAM!!

A loud bang filled the room but strangely enough, barely anyone flinched or looked up from it. As if used to hearing large booming noises in the studio. The only ones who reacted was Mr. Grooves, the girls, and Poppy. Poppy all but jumped out of her skin backing against the counter and whirling towards the source of the sound, the girls seemed to flinch, and Mr. Grooves only casually looked over towards the left side of the studio. There the other giant pair of double doors had been kicked open and slammed into the walls, a moment later a very angry......Yellow owl?? Stomped out and behind him followed some regular Express Owls holding various items or just following. .....Wat? Poppy had to blink as the small whatever he was stomped over near to where she was standing and starting barking demands all of a sudden.

"You three grab the bloody camera and make sure ye pecknecks keep a tight grip on it! I nae need me raw footage damaged in anyway!" His head turned as he barked orders to the owls who jumped and nodded at their bosses demands. "Good! Can't count on you all to do anything without me tellin' ye to cannae?"

Well THAT was rude. Poppy frowned at the rude little whatever he was and still didn't notice the large machine next to her lean over even more. Neither Poppy, the owls, or whoever this small yellow guy was(who was still yelling at the poor owls through all of this might I add) noticed the heavy duty camera leaning over or the glamerous penguin waltz on over towards him with a smile until they all reacted at his voice. The owls stopping, the yellow bird thing freezing for a few seconds, his fist shaking and slowly closing into fists, and his head snapping to peer over his shoulder, and Poppy looking over blinking.

"Conductor, Darling. You mustn't be so loud. It disturbs the peace and scares potential clients away," Mr. Grooves calmly spoke to this person. "You know I'm still expecting others to answer my casting calls."

Wait. Didn't Cookie also mention a Conductor? Huh. So this must be him. Not gonna lie, not a good first impression to her if she said so herself. Conductor huffed and turned his whole body turned to completely face the calm moon penguin now.

"Tis NAE of your business ye no good puffy haired peckneck!!," Conductor shouted while pointing a hand at Mr. Grooves. He was loud enough to make Poppy wince. "Why don't ye badger off and leave me to my worrrrrk!!"

"Darling, I would love nothing MORE than to leave you alone undisturbed," Mr. Grooves insisted calmly holding up his flippers, "All I ask is that you don't make such a ruckus in the lobby so my interviewers don't get scared off."

"HA!! Ye still going on 'bout that nonsense! Like anyone would rrrreally want to be in some techno sore to the eyes picture like yours!"

"Well that's not true at all. I have a gentlemen coming in tomorrow to see for the part of the Father in my little play. "

"HA!! The third one in a row? By this rate, ye won't be able to show ye face at the Award Ceremony for judging!" He smiled this time and crossed his arms.

"Now, now. There's still lots of time. And I'm going for something far more simple this year. A little change of style but still fabulous if I do say so myself."

"HMPH!! Well I say ye are full of birdseed if you think you have an inch of chance as usually! Another second place trophy would be more fitted! AHAHAHA!!"

Poppy could feel herself frowning at his words. Well that was really uncalled fore especially since Mr. Grooves wasn't being rude at all back or making a big scene like Conductor was. CREAAAAAAAAAAKKKK!! Hey...What was that creaking sound? Or was her ears ringing from the earlier screaming.

"Ye should give up now and save ye some trouble! With me raw footage it's surrrre to be in me favor."

CRREEEEEEEEEEEEE-

A giant creaking sound echoed out in a black blur as the giant camera leaned over and tipped. Owls hooted in fear as they scrambled out of the way as all eyes looked over and it seemed time slowed down as it went down, down, down- .....With a loud crash glass and pieces of metal shattered and flew everywhere. On instinct everyone close enough held up their arms and looked away from the shatter, but it was too late. Time slowed down as the camera shattered beyond repair and lots of metal clangs and sounds followed the disaster until it all finally settled piece by piece in front of them all on the floor. Destroyed camera and farming tools splayed on top of it. Everyone stood in shock staring down at the absolutely DESTROYED piece of machinery but that wasn't the last of it. A few sparks from the top of the camera shot out .....and then just a tiny spark of flame appeared. Well that tiny flame was enough to send some panic througout everyone there as owls sqawked and gasped back at the sight of the small flame which slowly started to grow causing everone else to get mildly panicked.

"SOME DARLIN' GET A FIRE EXSTINGISHER!!," Mr. Grooves yelled one flipper going up behind him to push back the small group of children behind him.

"STAND BACK!!"

In a fury of feather and blur, a white streak of foam shot out from some random direction and slammed into the flames, successfully putting out the flames with a sizzling sound by none other than the receptionist. The bird who was behind the counter wasn't finished yet as he continued to spray the camera and part of her tools down until it was all white like snow had piled on it and he stopped. Everyone remained in their tense pose for a long while staring at the camera...before some sighed in relief as did Poppy. Well that was certainly a surprise wasn't it? ...But not a very pleasant one by SOMEONE'S standards.

"MY MOVIE!!," Conductor cried recieving all eyes on his as his hands reached up to grab those feathery parts of his head staring dead at the camera in horror. "ALL ME HARD WORKED RRRRRRAW FOOTAGE IS GONE!!! .....AH!! YOU!!" His horror quickly shifted to anger when he snapped towards the fightened owls with an accusing tone. "YOU NO GOOD......FEATHER BRAINED....PPPPPPPEEEEECCKKNNEEEEEECKSSSS!! I TOLD YE TO BE CAREFULL!! NOW LOOK AT WHAT YE DONE TA ME HARRRD WORK!! WAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH A BLOODY SHATTERED MESS MADE BY BUBBLING BAFOONS?!"

The owls all froze at their bosses torment as Grooves turned around to ask the little girls if they were alright and Poppy stared. Watching as Conductor continued to shout as he blamed the poor owls for the mess....Blue eyes blinked down to the farming tools laid upon the floor. HER mess. The one she made-

Red eyes and shadows stared at her frightened form as a voice hissed. "Take her to the room and lock her away. ...I can't to look at her for as my prince had done. Perhaps locking away her forever will teach her a lesson about gazing into another man's eyes who belong TO ME!!"

"STOP!! JUST STOP IT WAS MY FAULT!!!"

Blue eyes snapped open at the yell. The yell that made everyone freeze and look at the red head who looked just as shocked and surprised as everyone else at her sudden outburst, but the Conductor wasn't yelling at the owls anymore. Despite him not having eyes, she could still tell he was staring right at her along with everyone else around her in more stunned silence as nobody spole.

".......Wot?"

"So YOU'RE the one responsible for this?," the tallest bird from the counter spoke putting down the fire extingisher and crossed his arms with a frown making Poppy flinch.

Poppy stared at him for a moment but seeing one poor worried looking owl behind him, made her frown before taking a deep inhale...and nodding towards the receptionist without hesitation. "That's right! One hundred peckin' percent!" She boldly pointed to the half foam covered tools by now. "Those are mah tools and it's mah fault the giant whatcha-ma-callit thing fell over 'n broke! Not anyone else's! So don't be yelling at anyone!"

The receptionist stood there for a moment staring at her before reaching into his back pocket and pulling out a pen and piece of paper. "Are you willing to pay for the damages? If you chose to claim the damages that is."

She nodded again without hesitation. "I am!"

"Alright." The paper had the same bird skull logo and Dead Bird Studios in bold red words. "Where do you live, Ma'am?"

"Uh...."

"With us!," Hattie piped up.

"Alright." Under the words 'Billing Details' he wrote Red Head Human Woman and the adress Spaceship in the sky 1 6829 this planet, Invoice #: (insert random Owl Express Numbers), Invoice Date: Today, and Currency: Pons. After studying it for a bit he looked back down to the damaged thing with a hum. "Let's see. There was film so that counts under 'Distruping Studio Recordings' which comes to one hundred thousand pons." He wrote under the words 'You Will Be Billed For' as he spoke and looked at the damages caused. "One count of 'Penguin Harrassment' which is five hundred pons. Five cases of 'Owl Harrassment' for two thousand five hundred pons. 'Destruction of Property' oh definately for three thousand. And 'Tresspassing' for seven thousand."

Poppy could only stand there and let her eyes grow and widen in shock at the claims and how much pons this guy claimed she owed for such lunacy. ".......Tresspassing and harassment!? Of what kind?! I wasn't tresspassin' if I was invited in here!! And I wasn't harassing anyone!!''

"Ma'am. I'm only doing my job handling paperwork, and our insurance doesn't cover humans. The moment you stepped on property you became a liability and responisble for paying for any destruction you caused," he explained calmly as if he did this every day. He wrote one other thing down on the paper before holding it out for her. "You owe us one hundred thirteen thousand pons plus tax and another seven hundred fifty for the expensive high defintion camera to be replaced."

Poppy could only stare and not move at the paper held out to her with wide eyes and an open jaw like there was another cursed statue in front of her. After a moment, the recptionist carefully and calmly put the large bill in her hand and she finally reacted to the movement. with anger and a scowl. "WHY IS THIS SO EXPENSIVE!? I couldn't afford this even if I suddenly turned into solid gold like that roach did!!"

"Like I said, Ma'am. I'm only doing my job. If you like I could call the local court house of law, the lawyers there can assure you the paperwork and damages are all legal."

"Well I still can't PAY for it!.....What if I work off the debt instead? I'm a hard worker I promise."

"Well.....it wouldn't be the first time someone worked it off. But you'll have to speak with the two big bosses about it, not me I'm afraid."

"And they would be?"

"ME!!" She jumped and nearly dropped the paper when the Conductor scowled up at her with anger. "That was MY movie ye destrrrroyed with yer no good foolishness! If ye are gonna work it away ye better be ready to receive some hard work thrown at ye from meself!!''

".......No."

Silence. You could hear a pin drop as everyone in the studio of hearing range completely stopped what they were doing and turned their attention towards the scene before them with wide eyes. Completely shocked into silence as they all stared at the human alike. Penguins, Express Owls, the two children, and even both the directors seemed to be shocked into the dumb silence as they all gawked at the frowning red haired lady staring at the Conductor. THE CONDUCTOR!! NO ONE BUT DJ GROOVES HAD EVER SAID NO TO THE CONDUCTOR BEFORE!! (except Hattie that one time in the basement but we don't talk about that not that anyone outside of the little girl, and a few of her friends knew) But now it seemed everyone was too shocked seeing a new person say no to the famously hot headed owl. One owl staring completely let the script she was holding fall from her hands and land scattered at her feet as everyone watched jaws dropped. Eventually Confuctor was the one to break the awkward silence by what else, his famous yeling. "WOT!?," he shouted and stared at her. "An' why not?! Ye are the one who cost me mah raw footage! That was ten days of haarrrrrrd work I ain't nah gettin' back, Las!" The red head crossed her arms and didn't change her expression. "I know and I am terribly sorry I caused you so much trouble in that department. But I refuse to work with someone so rude and treats the employee's who's workin' hard trying to help him by calling them useless! Obviously you're a terrible boss who treats anyone helping him with no respect, and I would feel terrible! Being in one of your movies knowing that, Sir." The girls exchange silent shocked glances behind Poppy as she turned her head towards the damaged camera. "....If it's the material that I damaged I would gladly pay in anyway I can. But only on the basis you apologise to those you've wronged, Mr. Conductor. But don't you go thinkin' I'll do anything before I know I'll be treated with respect!" Conductor's. Jaw. DROPPED!! Obviously not used to anyone other than that ridiculous long time rival of his speaking to HIM. HIM!!! In such a brass and demanding manner and it took a moment for him to even process what she just said but in a moment his temper flared up in a moment's notice as those feathery appendages on his head wriggled and he pointed at the penguin director as the other fist clenched into a fist as he demanded. Mr. Grooves blinking surprised at the sudden action "Bu-Bu-Bu-BUT WHAT COULD BE SOOOO SPECIAL ABOUT 'EM DOWN RIGHT EYE SORE OF A SO CALLED MOVIE!? YE GARBAGE NEVER COULD GET OFF YE GROUND IF DJ GRRRRRROOOOVES HAD ALL ETERNITY AND BECAME PRRRRRRESIDENT OF YE BOX OFFICE!!" "That's not true! I actually saw one of his movies myself." "YE DID WOT!?" "You ...did?," Grooves shifted his funny glasses wearing face up towards her just as confused as the angry owl man. Poppy nodded. "Yes. I. Did. And to be perfectly honest, I didn't think it was that bad. In fact, it was really interesting. Maybe not the 'best' by bird standards, but by human standards the story was really easy to understand for someone who honestly doesn't really know a whole darn lot 'bout these fancy lights, or high tech stuff, or..." She waved a hand off shrugging. "Or whatever ratings are. And a struggling career was relatable for someone who's been struggling with a lot happening." Conductor was sputtering and made some kind of funny bird sqawking noise before some of the feathers around his collar ruffled up in rage and he jabbed a thumb at himself. "WELL MAH MOVIES ARE NOTHIN' TO SHY FROM EITHER, LASSIE!! RRRRESPECTIVELY THAT AYE AM THE ONE TO MAKE IT ON TOP ALL YE TIME!!" Her face frowned again as she looked down at the older bird with a harsher scowl. "MY respect, SIR, is earned. Not GIVEN! And so far you've done absolutely NOTHING to earn it! Yelling like a baby who didn't get their candy and throwing a fit is not the way to do that! You just come off to me as a spoiled old man who doesn't know the word no even existed!" "WHAT'S SO SPECIAL ABOUT THE BLOODY PECKNECK ANYWAYS!?," He demanded fuming. "If you can't respect him as your rival then the least you could do is respect him as another person in your profession. As far as I've seen he's been nothin' but polite and kind to everyone and considering he's not in mah face yellin' like a baby bird for his mama is somethin' I respect." With a huff of that sass Snatcher would've loved to see she closed her eyes, and turned her head away with her nose stuck up. "I will start RESPECTING you as an adult when you ACT like one and apologize and decide to stop throwing a tantrum and embarrassing yourself! Because the truth be told I think YOU'RE the only peckneck in this studio." More silence settled around the entire place as Conductor dropped his jaw and the only sound that came out of him was something that sounded like 'A-Ah...ah..ah ah ah.....' in a stuttery way. Hattie's eyes were wide and Bow's hands had come to cover her mouth in a dramatic way. If Snatcher was there, Hattie would have no doubt he would've started laughing loudly at the look on the old bird's face. In fact, she could almost hear it now. A deep rumbling chuckle-....But wait. Snatcher's voice wasn't deep? It was high and raspy. Then who was-... A cold flipper patted Poppy on the back making her hum and look next to her to find the afro wearing penguin chuckling...before laughing a deep but loud laugh that filled the room with an almost joyful mood. That seemed to snap the Conductor from his trance and glared in the laughing penguin's direction. After a moment, Mr. Grooves stopped and turned his gaze up to Poppy with a smile. "Darling! I never could've said that any better than how you did!" He patted her back again. "You know. I like you already, Darling. My little stars usually have great taste in character and I see they didn't spare any expense in making another darling friend. What did you say your name was again?" ......She blinked but smiled at the happy moon penguin politely. "Poppy Rose Bloomington. You can call me Poppy, Mr. Grooves." Grooves hummed for a moment looking at her up and down for a moment before turning to the glaring Conductor and the broken camera lying a few feet away in pieces. "Was that footage really that important to you Conductor, Darlin'?" "OF COURSE IT WAS YOU PE-" "There's children here." Conductor's feathery appendeges went back as he growled. "YES! It was half me movie! It cannae be so simply replaced with the secret idea I was goin' for! All the time I spent on it cannae be replaced in time of the award ceremony!" The penguin hummed and brought his other flipper up to rub the bottom of his beak staring at the camera with a thoughtful expression...before looking back up to Poppy. "I'm afraid he's right, Darlin. I've known Conductor long enough to know one thing he never does is lie about his movies, even if he does brag while doing so in such a rude manor." "HMPH!! OF COURSE I DONAE!!" Grooves just rolled his eyes. "Even so, I think we should help him." "YE WOT!?" Conductor glanced surprised at the penguin like he won the trophy all of a sudden. "What kind of nonsense are ye blabbering about now?" Grooves turned to him staring, before tilting his head down wear his sunglass slid down enough to reveal some of his eyes in a deadpanned expression. "Believe it or not, Darling, I don't like unfair advantages." Conductor just stared blankly at him. " But I'm sure my little stars here could help out with anything you may need." Bow lit up with a smile. "Yeah! I'd love to help!" "Don't you have a back up plan like you usually do?" "Of course Ah do! I ain't no dummy." "Well, there you go, Darling." He reached up to push his glasses back into place. "I'm sure you'll put together something spectacular like you always do." "......B-B-But..What are the damages!? Ye camera cost the studio over a thousand pons! I cannae just look past that!," he argued back pointing at the shattered thing. And Grooves hummed again. "I'm afraid you're right about that too. Frankly, these kinds of ones aren't too easily to come across."........In a moment he smiled and looked up to Poppy. "I know! She can work for me as payment for those damages." Poppy blinked with a surprised expression as did most of everyone else but at the thought of Poppy being in a movies both young girls suddenly looked even more excited. Conductor on the other hand- "ABABABABABA!! Hang on a pecking second! THE LASS WORK FOR YE FOR DAMAGING MAH FILM?!" "I-I AM?!," Poppy asked whirling wide eyed to the moon penguin director. "Yes. Cuz quick frankly it might've been your film, but it was on OUR shared expensive studio high definition camera, Darling. She can easily pay off any debt she owes for the camera and your footage by working and her pay going to the repairs and reienbursment for any misguided accidents." The Conductor growled again and went to probably argue some more- "Tick tock, Darling. You don't want to waste anytime fighting when there's a deadline to meet. It looks like you'll be needing to step up your game." "MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!! FINE!!" The tiny bird man turned and began stomping away towards the owl's side of the studio. "WHAT ARE ALL YE LOOKING AT!? SOMEONE BRING ME MAH BACK UP SCRIPT!! CHANGE THE SETS TO OUTSIDE SCHEDUALED!! SOMEONE INFORRRRRRM THE OTHER'S WE'RE GOIN' WITH PLAN B THIS YEAR!!! AND SOMEONE GET THAT SMASHED HUNK O' JUNK CLEANED UP!!" The owl's scrambled to grab anything they needed to grab and quickly follow the fuming bird boss as DJ Grooves chuckled and shook is head. "Don't feel too bad about the Conductor, Darling. He's usually all talk and no bite." Hattie giggled. "Yeah! He's a crazy, grumpy grandpa!" Both Grooves and Bow chuckled at Hattie's description of the old bird, but none of them noticed frozen and mildly panicked form. Her?! In a movie?! Where millions of people could see her?! WHAT HAD SHE GOTTEN HERSELF INTO NOW?!

[ginnyzero]

Completely Harmless Ch. 48

Completely Harmless An SSO SilverGlade Re-imagining Story (Or Fix it Fan Salt fic) By Ginny O.

When Lily and her friends wanted to buy horses and were directed to the Silverglade Manor and its myriad of problems, they didn’t expect to start a revolution. They were just a bunch a stable girls. Completely harmless. Right?

A/N: Things are only canon if I say they’re canon. Pre-Saving the Moorland Stables compliant for the most part. Posted in its entirety on my website. Posted in 2000 to 4000 word bits here. Rated T for Swearing Word Count 177,577

Chapter Forty-Eight The Evergray Nights of Midsummer

The Baroness declared to them that she liked the cloud light displays in her stable better than the bubbles and jelly fish. However, she seemed amused rather than annoyed, so they took it well and promised it’d be down at the end of the week.

They all went over to the opening ceremony for the Midsummer Festival. There was a huge maypole, traditional music played, there was a special shop with traditional Jorvigian dresses in all color combinations and gear to go with them. Everyone cheered as the Master Ranger from Goldcroft and Loretta lit the bonfire that was to last all week together. There was food from the Summer family spread out all over the tables, traditional Jorvigian fare including a large pot of crawfish boil.

They ran around and gathered the flowers so they could try the dream tent. No one was willing to say who’d they’d seen when they came out flushed and giggling. They fished for prize tokens at the fishing tent. (They’d have to come back every day to get them all.)

The table had a map of the South New Jorvik County and the locations where they could find the flowers for all the different wreathes they could make around the county.

There was also the schedule of the Dew Family Race Challenge.

Because there wasn’t as much to do except to visit the parties to get vials of sand and make wreathes, it felt like a much more relaxed event than Rainbow Week. It helped that there weren’t rainbows crashing everywhere and leprechauns to chase around. They were able to take their time and enjoy it more.

The artists had come back and set up more art in Fort Pinta square. It was all beach themed, of course. Tim wanted help with selling beach balls and setting out towels and collecting the dirty ones. He also needed help mixing the drinks.

One of the girls asked him why he was making them one at a time? Multiple drinks! Multiple. You didn’t shake any of them with the soda in it. You put the soda in last. Really, the drinks didn’t need shaking but if that’s how he was going to be with the ice.

But he did have streams of customers and people were tearing up on the floor under the pale yellow and green cabana to the tunes of DJ Kai. (Apparently hearing she was being broadcast around to the different parties, she and Syntax had agreed to move to a new party each day.)

People were having fun and that’s all that mattered.

They did have to take a couple hours each day in the evening to make more food for the parties. And run around and refill the snack buckets. (Loretta had definitely come through with snacks and bread, and the things for sausages and s’mores.) It was a good thing they had extra shells and crystals and beads. People wanted to make their own embellished shells rather than take the ones that were decorations. (And the lace sailboats too.) So they set up a crafting center in the Baroness’ new Pavilion and announced it on Jorvikgram.

At least they’d decorated it!

Elsa stared at the happy tourists gluing rhinestone trim onto sea shells with glue guns. “We should have predicted this.”

“We can’t think of everything,” Linn chided.

Elsa gave her a flat look.

“We can’t!”

Elsa raised her hands above her head, waved them around, and stomped away.

--

They’d invited Linda and Alex to join them on their rounds. Though there were times Alex had made some rather thin excuses.

“Just admit you’re off to run races with Justin!” Lily shouted after the retreating Alex.

Alex waved at her and flushed but didn’t respond.

“Go dance with the idiot!” Linda shouted.

The two girls laughed as Tin Can broke into a flat out run at Alex’s urging.

“They fool no one,” Lily said as the two continued to trot through New Hillcrest.

A cough interrupted them from a man standing near the bus stop. “Excuse me,” he said and coughed again.

They stopped.

He was definitely an odd looking gentleman. He wore odd dark grey robes, and carried a staff with a couple of mysterious blue stones dangling from it. His black hair was a mess and in the lines of the left side of his face there was the distinctive pink glow of pandoric energy. “I am Evergray. I’ve come from the Evermist Forest in the far north in search of the Soul Riders and a girl named Lily. Some girls told me that they’d be here today. Have you seen them?” His sentences were punctuated by coughs.

Linda and Lily looked at each other.

“Well, we are them,” Lily said.

“You just missed Alex. I’m Linda,” Linda said. “Um, we can protect ourselves.”

Evergray leaned against his stick and laughed. It devolved into a coughing fit. Squatting down his coughed until he could barely breathe.

Lily and Linda got off their horses. Linda reaching into her saddlebag, pulled out a water.

“Here, take a drink,” she held it out to him when he was breathing again.

Evergray wiped his sweating forehead on his robe. “Thank you. You’re most kind.” He took a sip.

Lily rubbed his back. “What happened to you?”

“I have Pandoria sickness. This is what happens when you spend too much time in Pandoria. Yes, I am a great explorer of Pandoria. So much it’s like a second home. I once longed to be a Soul Rider and weild magic instead of keeping it, protecting it. I studied more of the ancient secrets than any other druid before they kicked me out. And I’ve come to talk to you, tell you what the Druids may not.”

“You aren’t a druid.”

Evergray stood. “I was. They exiled me.”

“Exiled you?” Linda blinked. “For what?”

“Asking too many questions.”

“That’d do it.” Lily stood and brushed off her knees. “They don’t seem the type to like those who ask questions.” She glanced at Linda.

“She always shuts me down.” Linda shrugged.

“Ms. Sunbeam, she’d tell you not to trust me.” Evergray half smiled. “Peh.”

“If you’re exiled. You aren’t supposed to be here.” Lily gestured around. “I mean, exile is just saying ‘eh, you’re someone else’s problem now.’”

Evergray grinned and coughed again. “I have heard tales of a rebellious leader of stable girls who is causing quite a ruckus.” He touched Lily’s chest with the head of his staff.

She cocked her hip. “Have the squirrels been talking? Or the chipmunks?”

“Both. They are great gossips squirrels and chipmunks. They know I’m trustworthy to tell things that might upset the druids. They’re very loyal to you. Made me swear many oaths I wouldn’t harm you in any way.”

Lily had been being sarcastic given she didn’t quite believe the squirrels and chipmunks had enough intelligence to actually spy. But if he was being serious, she had to go along with it now. “Well, you’ve found me, now what?”

“I’d like to show you someplace,” Evergray said. “It’s where I’m going to stay, tucked out of the way, where no one would think to look for me. Would you help me there? I brought some luggage.”

Lily took Evergray and texted the rest of the club she’d met a friend and be a bit late. Linda took his luggage. He directed them through the Mirror Marsh.

He coughed. “I don’t remember it being this tidy.”

“The Bulldogz have been doing trail rides around it and cleaned up the roads. Apparently one of the delivery carts got into a wreck and Bernadette finally saw reason and let them take ropes and at least get the logs out of the road.”

Evergray grunted in approval and coughed again.

They went through the Eastern Expanse. Evergray could see the beach. “What’s going on down there?”

“More counter insurgency against G.E.D.,” Lily explained. “One of our club leaders had the idea to do a charity race event. People get sponsors, and depending on how many races they run, they get money. The money goes to the Dew family to pull them out of foreclosure so they can have their farm back.”

Evergray coughed again. “How out of hand has it gotten around here since I’ve been gone? Leave a place five minutes and it becomes a mess.”

“I don’t know how long you’ve been gone.”

“Take the dirt track above the road,” Evergray instructed and didn’t answer her question. At the top of the track overlooking the hills down to the sea was a campsite. “We can leave my luggage here,” Evergray said. “Yes. This will do nicely. But do continue onwards.”

Alex rode up over the ridge panting. “I’d just met with Justin and you said I need to be here on Soul Rider business.”

“This is Evergray, former druid,” Lily introduced the man on the back of her horse. “He’s going to show us something.”

Whickering, Starshine came over the hill too.

“Ahh, and where are the others?”

“In Pandoria, all three of them,” Alex said grimly.

Evergray nodded. “Continue along the track. You’ll know where we’re going when you see it.”

The trail twisted back and forth with trees and bushes. The rocks close in above them making it dark. They pulled out their cameras for light holding them above their heads.

The trail opened up into a huge dale in the mountains. Above them, a small crack let in light.

To either side of them were four huge statues of horses. They rode through them to where there was a set of steps and on platform in front of those steps broken off rocks of what could have been more hooves.

Evergray jumped off the back of Lily’s horse. “Have a look around,” he said. “This is Guardians Dale, a place of great significance for the Keepers of Aideen. Or should be.”

They dismounted and wandered from statue to statue trying to take them in.

“Are these supposed to be the Soul Horses, the original Starbreeds?” Linda asked snapping pictures. Each of the horses lit up with the purple pink of pandoria with designs on their sides. Designs that were the symbols of the four circles. The star horse had a horn. The one with the sun had wings. The one with lightning bolts had cloven hooves. And lastly, the one with the moon had a beard.

Starshine huffed.

“He doesn’t see the resemblance,” Linda translated.

Lily leaned back to look at the horned horse statue. “I do,” she said.

Starshine struck a pose. Clearly, he was far more handsome.

“Well, this was you back then when you didn’t have so many other horse lines influencing your bloodlines.” Lily gestured. “It’s still you.”

Starshine huffed again and tossed his flowing mane.

Lily went over to the winged horse. “So, this must be Concorde.”

Meteor nodded rapidly.

“Interesting.” She spun on her toe and returned to Evergray. “It’s certainly impressive enough.”

Evergray coughed and eyed her. “You aren’t impressed.”

Lily looked down her nose at him. “You have your reasons.” She shrugged.

“This place is a gateway to Pandoria.” Evergray gestured at the stairway going up and ending in the side of the mountain. “A gate that Aideen can use to enter the final battle with Garnok.”

“Sounds pretty definitive.”

“You need all the Soul Horses, but, as you can see, many years ago the forces of Dark Core destroyed the fifth statue, the horse of Aideen. And now this place has become forgotten, and disregarded by those who haven’t read the ancient histories or know the secrets of the Keepers of Aideen.”

“So, you’re saying it’s not completely useless,” Linda said. She adjusted her glasses and looked around. “It’s awe inspiring. Think of the history.”

“There are other ways to open gates and portals into Pandoria. I would know. I am the one who learned how to seek them out and have travelled many places, many ages, and epochs of that cursed and yet blessed place. I sought a secret so that others could travel Pandoria safely. It was almost in my grasp, but if I return to Pandoria now I would die.” His speech was again punctuated by coughing.

Alex stepped forward. “So, you’re saying if we needed to, we could use this gate to rescue Anne, Lisa, and Concorde.”

“We’d have to know where they are,” Evergray said. “And there is an artifact that the druids wouldn’t hand over to just anyone. I think I know where it is, but, I am missing some of the pieces of the puzzle.”

“Would the Pandoria Codex help?” Linda asked.

Evergray’s eyes widened. “How did?”

“I borrowed it from Fripp. We can make you a copy.” Linda shrugged.

“You would just hand it over to me,” Evergray pointed at his chest with his thumb.

Linda sucked her cheeks in. “You’re the first person who has given us any hope that we could rescue Anne, Lisa, and Concorde. They are in Pandoria and now they’re out of reach of the Weeping Widow.”

Evergray tucked his chin down. “It will be dangerous. There can be consequences. Terrible consequences for Jorvik. The fabric between Pandoria and this world is fragile and tears easily. Rescuing your friends could upset that balance of energy.”

“You came anyways. You gave us this hope.” Linda lifted her chin. “What would you do to save your friends?”

“I find I no longer have many.” Evergray scratched his chin. “If I did, I would travel to any realm they might be in to save them and die by their side if necessary.”

“Any realm?” Lily asked.

“You think Pandoria is the only realm.” Evergray coughed. “How foolish.”

Lily put a hand on his arm. “Thank you, for showing us this place. For giving us hope.”

Evergray coughed. “We still need all four Soul Horses. I only see three. It isn’t much hope.”

“It’s more than we had before,” Linda said firmly.

“Are you sure you don’t want to enjoy the party?”

“I may wander down to see the show,” Evergray said. “But I don’t want the druids to catch wind that I’m here.”

“Understandable,” Alex said and mounted Tin Can.

“We’ll get you a copy of the Pandoria Codex,” Linda added and mounted Meteor.

Lily stared at him. “Could the Star Circle help you with your sickness?”

“They wouldn’t, even if they had the power or knew how,” Evergray said.

“Maybe one day you can lead us to the point where it eluded you and we’ll figure out a cure,” Lily said. She mounted her horse. “Do you need a ride back to the camp site?”

“I’d like to meditate here if you don’t mind. It has been a long time since I’ve been on such a sacred site.”

“Evergray,” Lily paused. “Do you worship Aideen?”

Evergray coughed again. “No. Why would I?”

“I was simply curious. I know nothing of this land. Aideen may have been an extraterrestrial person, but to me, that makes her a person still. Not an infallible being. It would seem she is more like the gods of the ancient Greeks and Egyptians, rather than, say, the god of Jews and Christians.”

Evergray tilted his head.

“She can make mistakes,” Lily explained.

“You have been thinking a lot about it,” Evergray said and coughed. “I came to much the same conclusion. Aideen was a person, limited and flawed.”

“But the other druids, ones like Elizabeth, they worship her?”

“Some do, others mostly desire the knowledge that the druids possess.” Evergray shrugged. “But they are not so willing to ask questions.”

“I don’t think Moses or Abraham got as far as they did without asking questions and arguing with god,” Lily said dryly. “It was like god approved.”

Evergray eyed her. “I don’t know of these men or the god of which you speak.”

“Not really important. I don’t think I would be part of a religion or organization where asking questions isn’t allowed. Asking questions is how we learn. Babies and children ask questions and do things because they’re exploring their environment and learning. We aren’t supposed to ever stop learning. Keep asking your questions, Evergray. I’d dearly love to hear the answers one day.” Lily nudged her horse around. “If you can’t ask questions, it sounds more like a cult.”

Evergray stared after her.

“But what do I know, I’m just a stable girl, completely harmless,” Lily called over her shoulder.

Evergray coughed again and snorted.

FOR THE ACCOMPANYING IMAGES PLEASE DO NOT REMOVE MY WATERMARK AND CONTACT INFORMATION. THANK YOU. I get it. Some of you might get excited and want to see this stuff in the game, especially the clothes, tack, and pets. However, the only way I want to see this in the game is if I get paid for it. If I see it in the game and I’m not paid for it, there will be hell to pay. You think I’m salty. I’d be angry. Personally, I’m not going to send this info to SSO. If you do, leave my contact information there! Don’t give them any excuses to steal.

Now, I’ll know you haven’t read this note if you leave me comments about how ‘salty’ I am about the game and if I hate it so much I should do something else. I am doing something else. It’s called Mystic Riders MMORPG Project. Mystic Riders however is a very baby phase game. You can check out our plans on the game dev blog. (Skills, Factions, Professions, Crafting, Mini-Games, 25+ horse breeds!) If you know anyone who would be interested and has money or contacts about game making, direct them to the blog.

[thisdaynews]

The United States of Anxiety

New Post has been published on https://thebiafrastar.com/the-united-states-of-anxiety/

The United States of Anxiety

Tim Alberta is chief political correspondent atPolitico Magazine.

Des Moines, Iowa

Dear Washington,Since our last correspondence, voting finally got underway in the Democratic primary for president. That term—voting—is used loosely in Iowa, the state with a nearly 50-year history of kicking off the presidential selection process. Rather than step into a private booth anytime during the day to cast a ballot for their preferred candidate, Iowans wait until dusk to gather in churches and libraries and high school gymnasiums all across the state and sort themselves into groups.

By now, you’re well aware just how spectacularly this ritual backfired. Iowa Democratic officials not only failed to transmit results on caucus night; they failed for more than a week to provide verified numbers to satisfy the simple question of who won the state. There’s still no official winner. This debacle probably sounded a death knell for Iowa’s place at the front of the line, and if so, well, good riddance. The truth is, an overwhelmingly white, rural state doesn’t reflect a slice of America the way it once did. Someplace else deserves a chance to pick presidents—or, at least, to sift the serious candidates from the jokers.

There is one thing I’ll miss about Iowa: the people.

Iowans take mighty seriously their charge of vetting potential leaders of the free world. In fact, you could argue they take ittooseriously: It’s not uncommon to encounter a caucus-goer who has seen each and every candidate in person, holding off on making a decision until—like a dairy farmer assessing a prize-winning heifer—they could assess the contenders in the flesh. The more time you spend in Iowa, the more you appreciate how the people here stay politically informed both as a point of communal relevance and civic duty.

Iowans are a great bunch to talk with if you want to understand what high-information voters think about the election, and the state of the country more generally. And among Iowans, I’ve found there’s an even more selective group that is hyper-informed about American politics: Uber drivers.

Don’t laugh. There’s a reason journalists love to share Twitter vignettes from backseats all across the country, and it’s not because we’re lazy. The drivers we encounter make up a fascinating cross-section of the electorate: young and old, blue collar and white collar, black and white and brown. One thing they have in common: They are cogs in a gig-employment machine that, more than most American industries, scrambles our notions of cultural, ideological and socioeconomic belonging. The other thing these people have in common is they spendlotsof time in their vehicles, which often translates intolotsof time listening to talk of current events, either by radio or podcast or conversation with their passengers.

If Uber drivers tend to be more politically informed than your average worker, Iowa’s Uber drivers are the most politically informed on Earth. Talk to enough of them and you’re liable to learn a lot about how people are living and how they’re voting—and why.

“Let me guess,”JOHN FISHERsaid as I climbed into his cherry red Chrysler 200. “You want to talk about the caucuses?”

Yup—and apparently, I wasn’t the only one.

With thousands of journalists, campaign staffers, volunteers, activists and curious onlookers descending on Des Moines, Fisher’s car had turned into something of a traveling panel show. He liked to let the guests make their pitch, on behalf of a candidate or maybe a specific policy proposal, before introducing a programming twist.

“Finally, I’ll say that I’m a Trump supporter, and it’s dead silence for a minute,” he said, laughing. “But then we just keep talking. They’re still very kind. So, I’m kind to them in return. They don’t get pushy or anything. When they leave, I always wish them and their candidates the best of luck.”

Fisher, a 66-year-old Des Moines native, started driving after he retired from the insurance industry in 2015. He likes the extra income; even more, he likes the experiences with new people. “I’ll listen to anybody. I’m not a right-winger. I’m barely a Republican. I just like Trump,” he said. “These Democrats, they’re really not doing themselves any favors with impeachment and the way they treat him. I just don’t understand it. Why drag our country through this?”

He paused. “Then again, I only watch Fox News, so maybe I’m only getting one side of things.”

I asked if there were any Democrats he could support. “Pete Buttigieg. I like that he’s young and energetic. And I like his supporters, too,” Fisher said. “I actually like Tulsi Gabbard, too, every time I hear from her. But then you have these old dogs— Sanders, Warren, Biden. They need to get out of the way.”

Fisher said that national security—particularly “the drugs and the violence coming across the border” with Mexico—has long been his priority at the ballot box. But there’s another concern that weighs on him more and more: the diverging economic fortunes of Americans based on where they live. “Right now things are very good in a place like Des Moines,” he says. “But the rural areas are drying up. The farms are being bought out by large corporations. The young kids are all moving to the cities. That’s a bad sign for the rest of the state.”

CASEY FORCEknows something about rural Iowa.

Raised in the town of Lovilia (population: 512), a speck of turf located 30 miles southwest of Oskaloosa, she felt the calling of the world. Force worked overseas as an international business consultant, first in Japan and then in Russia, unsure of whether she’d ever live in the U.S. again. It was only after a visit home for the holidays, and a chance encounter with her future husband, that Force returned to Iowa. But small-town life wasn’t an option. Now 40 years old, with two children, ages 2 and 7, Force works in special education at a high school in south Des Moines.

“And I drive six days a week,” she said. “Usually it’s just a handful of rides here and there, before school and once the kids are asleep at night. This paid for our last trip to Disney World. We’re going to take another one soon.”

Force voted for Hillary Clinton in the last general election. But she has never caucused before. This will be her first time—if she can work up the courage to participate. “I’m super intimidated by this whole thing,” she said.

The other hang-up: Force still hadn’t settled on a candidate. “I’ve just been listening. Last night, I had some Bernie Sanders volunteers; they offered me yard signs. The night before it was the Trump rally; I drove a lot of people from there. Then there was a girl I picked up from WalMart who was all emotional because she couldn’t decide who to caucus for. I’m really busy with work and family and everything, so I’ve been interested in hearing what everyone else thinks and why.”

Ultimately, Force said, she was leaning toward Buttigieg. But she’s prepared to vote for any Democrat who’s on the ballot in November. “I’m an educator, and we need money for our schools, and I just know we’re not going to get it without Democrats in power,” she said.

Force worries about her children and whether they’ll be able to afford college. She also worries about the low-income students at her school; two of them were recently lost to gun violence in a triple homicide that shook Des Moines. Above all, however, she worries about “the decision-making at the top” of the U.S. government.

“I still think back to that [Access Hollywood] tape, and how the reporter on the bus with him got fired and Trump became president,” Force said. “I think about the #MeToo movement. I think about the racial episodes. And it just seems—I thought we’d gotten somewhere as a country with Obama in office. I guess not.”

Behind the wheelof his grey Hyundai Sonata later that night,GEOFFREY O.sounds no less optimistic.

“I don’t believe in our politics anymore,” he says, shaking his head. “They are all lying to us. Like Andrew Yang – where is he getting that money from? And how much is he giving himself before I get my share? And Bernie Sanders, he talks about paying for everyone’s education—but how? Where is he getting that money from?”

Geoffrey, who was born in the U.S. but raised in Uganda, thought he was leaving dysfunctional and corrupt governance behind when he returned to America a few years ago to attend college. But that idealism has diminished. On one side, he says, he sees a Democratic Party that makes unrealistic promises. On the other side he sees Trump.

“I respect that he is the president. But he is detached from reality,” said Geoffrey. (He asked not to be identified by his last name because it’s not hard to find an African migrant in Iowa.) “Trump does not want immigrants in this country. But America a big place. It needs immigrants to help solve its problems. People are running away from their countries because they don’t want to die, and we don’t let them into this country? He is anti-immigrant, and the people surrounding him are anti-immigrant.”

Geoffrey holds out some hope that things will change, that people will become “exhausted” with the extremes and look for middle ground. But he’s not holding his breath. Rather than concern himself with politics he’s hard at work, driving his sedan eight to ten hours a day, all week long, hoping to make $150 each day to pay for his undergraduate degree.

Geoffrey longs for the notions of the idyllic America of his youth. But he worries this country is “no longer welcoming to people like me.” Moreover, he worries that it isn’t safe. “When I drive my Uber I just pray there are no shootings that happen,” he said. “That is my greatest prayer: I hope I don’t meet someone holding a gun.”

JOSEPH GAYhas his own concerns about the state of the country. But he has a unique solution: Make Trump the permanent president.

“I think Trump is the best thing that has come along in America in a long, long time,” said Gay, 68, as he steers his blue Ford Ecosport through the Des Moines suburbs. “And I think all the trouble they’re giving him, it’s just criminal. They said they were going to impeach him even before he took office. It’s just not right. He’s the only president I’ve ever seen keep his word, keep his promises.”

Gay’s own political evolution is recognizable: a Democrat until Ronald Reagan came along, then a conservative-leaning independent, and now, a full-fledged, no-turning-back MAGA enthusiast.

“You know, if it wasn’t for Trump, I might not even be a Republican anymore. The Republicans stopped caring about me a long time ago,” he said. “I wouldn’t vote for Democrats either. Honestly, I would just stop voting altogether. I really wish Trump could serve three terms—or even longer. Let him serve as long as he wants. The guy, he’s just—he’s an amazing person.”

Is there anything that Gay dislikes about the president?

“Oh, once in a while he says things that are goofy, and it’s like, ‘C’mon Donald, you didn’t need to say that,’” Gay chuckled. “But I do like his sense of humor. ThePocahontasthing, that was funny. Childish, maybe. But still funny.”

The thing is, Gay explained, he doesn’t have time to waste being offended. There are more immediate problems. Having worked odd jobs most of his life—mostly involving construction and delivery—Gay has no pension, no savings, no nest-egg for retirement. He drives for Uber three days a week and trades shifts with his wife, who drives the same car another three days a week. They do this to supplement their Social Security, which isn’t enough to cover the cost of living. “I could have made better choices to where I had a better job and more income to retire with. But this is where we’re at,” he said. “Uber works pretty well for us, even though I don’t think they should take as much of a cut as they do.”

Gay’s biggest concern for himself and his wife is getting sick. “We don’t have a retirement thing, and medicine is expensive, so money would get pretty tight,” he said. “I’ve got some things I could probably sell. But still.”

And the biggest concern he has for America? “The Democratic Party. The socialism,” he said. “I can’t tell you a single one I’d vote for anymore. They’re all socialists now. It’s dangerous.”

She’s two decades from retirement age,butANGELA GOLDBERGis driving the Uber because she doesn’t want to wind up like Gay.

A 45-year-old mother of four, Golberg has a part-time marketing job that keeps her busy anywhere from 15 to 25 hours a week. But it’s not nearly enough. Not with three of her kids attending college. Not with this economy so unstable for people, like her, who don’t have advanced degrees. Not with the endless political disruption and all that it could entail.

“I’m nervous about Social Security. They keep talking about it as an ‘entitlement,’ but it’s not an entitlement. Ever since I was the age of 16, and you’re old enough to get your job at McDonald’s, I’ve been paying taxes into Social Security. And now they’re trying to claim it’s an entitlement,” she said.

To fortify her family’s income, and to add some cushion to her and her husband’s retirement plan, Golberg started driving for Uber. “In this area, I’ll be lucky to make $100 to $150 on Friday nights. Saturdays, I’ll be lucky to make about $250 if there’s a lot going on at night,” she explained. “But I’ve already hit $1,000 for this weekend, starting Thursday night, because Trump was here. This has been a wonderful few days.”

Golberg was glad to see the president come to town, even as she wrestles with her decision to vote for him in 2016.

“I liked him, I liked his track record, so I voted for him,” she said. “But I can tell you I don’t like his behavior and the way he goes about things. He’s lacking in social graces, I guess would be the best way to say it. And he is a bully.”

Golberg said she’s leaning toward voting for a Democrat in 2020, but wouldn’t be participating in the caucuses. (“I don’t really know how it works.”) As for who that Democrat might be, she’s got no idea. Joe Biden “just tries to take credit for being Barack Obama’s vice president, but that was Obama making the decisions.” Elizabeth Warren “I’m not quite sure about—not sure she can beat Trump.”

She seemed most taken with Buttigieg. “I think Pete would have a real chance. He talks about what he believes in, what his plans are, how he’s going to do it, whether or not it’s accomplishable. I like him,” she said. “And he doesn’t slam anyone. I don’t like when the candidates slam one another. It’s really distasteful. Let Trump do that.”

CRAIG CARTERknows he shouldn’t laugh. But he just can’t help himself.

“This guy, the president,” Carter said, “He entertains the old farmer in me.”

While cruising through West Des Moines in a black Ford Escape, Carter, 70, described the moment three years ago when he knew Uber was right for him. After running a successful asphalt paving business for many years, he had finally retired—only to find his wife annoyed at his constant presence around the house.

“The night I decided to become an Uber driver, my wife was looking at me in that sweet, Christian way of hers,” he said. “She told me she never thought I’d live this long – it was clear I needed to get out of the house and do something to leave her alone and prolong our marital bliss of 48 years. So I did.”

These days, Carter said, two things provide his “comic relief”: Uber rides and Donald Trump. Sometimes they overlap.

“Oh, I’ve had a whole lot of caucus rides lately. Everyone wants to talk about The Donald,” Carter said. “I had a worker for Biden, like a month ago, and he wouldn’t stop talking. So, I warned him, ‘Here in the Midwest we don’t talk about politics, sex or religion.’ And he tapped me on the shoulder and said, ‘For the next month, you’re going to get a pass on the politics.’ Man, was he ever right.”

Carter said he’s glad to have civilized political conversations with strangers in the car—because he can’t have them at home anymore.

“My wife’s a Democrat, and we both woke up on Election Day with that McCauley Culkin look”—he slaps his cheeks—“ahhhh!” We couldn’t believe that he won. But you know, that shock faded for me. Not her. She still has that look every morning. Like she’s out for blood. … She bought herself a shirt, a pink shirt, with a little kitten holding an M-16 military rifle, and it says, ‘Grab this pussy, asshole.’ I’m serious.”

All humor aside, Carter said Trump’s crude nature has begun to wear on him—so much so that, after a lifetime of voting for Republicans, he’s open to voting for the Democratic nominee in 2020. The only catch?

“It’s gotta be Bernie,” Carter said, grinning. “Maybe he’s a socialist, I don’t know. I don’t want to put that label on him. But the truth is, I see myself in him. And he might be the man to do something near and dear to my heart: legalizing marijuana.”

That pipe dream aside, Carter said he’s coming around to Sanders’s trademark proposal: Medicare for All. When I asked what issue concerns him most, Carter pulled out his iPhone, opened up his photos, and toggled between two screenshots. They were taken from his account on the Walgreens pharmacy app. The first shot showed how much his heart medication cost with insurance: $2.18. The second showed the cost without insurance: $249.00.

“Seriously now,” he said. “When I see that, I just think to myself, how are we doing this to people?”

I met too many fascinatingIowa Uber drivers to recount: the old rich chap who drives for charity and gives cash tips to passengers down on their luck; the Malaysian immigrant who needs to push his dying Chevy 10 more months to have enough money saved to open his long-dreamed-about Asian market; the guy who placed strict no-political-talk rules on relationships with his closest friends, including a next-door-neighbor, in order to preserve relationships.

I didn’t meet any Trump voters who were resolved to abandon the GOP this November. Nor did I meet any Democrats who threatened to sit out the election if a certain candidate—say, Bernie Sanders—wins the nomination. Partisans were, pretty reliably,partisan. There were no dramatic, road-to-Damascus resolutions to be witnessed on the streets of Des Moines. Despite unprecedented political disruption, people are preparing for some variation of the same binary choice they’ve been making their entire adult lives.

The prevailing sentiment among the people with a front-row seat to the greatest political show on Earth was discomfort. Something isn’t right in our country—that much came across, unsolicited, in every conversation with every person of every possible political persuasion. This continues to be the most obvious and contradictory feeling of union in America circa 2020: Despite living in a time of nearly unrivaled peace and prosperity, the one thing that unites us is that nobody feels very good about it.

It’s time to move on from Iowa. There are so many more stories to tell.

If you’ve got places you think I should visit, people you think I should meet, drop me a line: L2W@politico.com

Your old friend,

Tim

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[robertkstone]

Celebrity Drive: Ted Nugent, and Why He Loves His Hellcat

Quick Stats: Ted Nugent, singer-songwriter/TV host Daily Driver: 2015 Dodge Challenger SRT Hellcat (Ted’s rating: 20 on a scale of 1 to 10) Other cars: See below Favorite road trip: I-94 Car he learned to drive in: 1963 Chevy Biscayne First car bought: 1970 Mercedes 280SL

Although Ted Nugent has more than a dozen cars—meaning the Motor City Madman can drive a different one every day of the week—he talks about a few rides with pride and feeling.

“I rotate them. It’s like guitars and guns. I got this just phenomenal 2015 Dodge Challenger Hellcat they tweaked for me that’s got a plaque under the hood that says, ‘Custom made for the Motor City Madman,’ so do I feel special or what?” he says, laughing. “I missed the whole muscle car era because I was married to the band; all I bought was vans and station wagons, and a Winnebago. I didn’t have my own car.”

But now he’s got lots of cool vehicles. “This Hellcat, it’s the mountain top; there’s no place else to go,” he says. “And not just the power, but the sheer drivability, the comfort level combined with the g-force nirvana.”

With the one exception of a BMW he bought for his wife, Nugent’s other cars are all from American automakers.

“I’m an American iron guy. I’ve got Chevys, Mopars, and Ford. I love them all,” he says. “But I also give a nod to the incredible German engineering and all those exotic cars. I’m a big fan of those, but, again, we have 18 vehicles, and only one is foreign.”

If he had a daily driver, it might be the Polaris he takes to hunt for ducks and other unsuspecting herbivores, he says. But for the pavement, his Hellcat qualifies as a truly special car.

“This Hellcat would eat the entire ’64 to ’72 muscle car squadron. What a rocket ship, and of course with the hardware I have in the trunk, it’s not just a rocket ship, it’s a fighter jet,” he says, with a burst of laughter. “It’s so much fun to drive. It’s the first time I’ve admitted it because I’m on with MotorTrend, but the Hellcat is equal to my Gibson Byrdland [electric guitar]. That is an astonishing statement, but it’s true.”

Nugent rates his Hellcat a 20 on a scale of 1 to 10, noting the Challenger SRT Hellcat has “too much power,” but he admits he uses it to pass a slow-moving car traveling in the left lane on the highway. “I can get around him so quickly, they didn’t even know I was there!”

Nugent has the energy and upbeat demeanor of someone much younger—his zeal can make any curmudgeon perk up and inquire what makes him so happy.

“It’s so simple, it’s stupid. Number one—70 years clean and sober. Number one A—I have a diet of pure wild game that I stealthily track and kill, handle, process, gut, skin, age, butcher, and cook with reverence beyond any human being since our aboriginal founding brethren,” he says. “That’s the secret. You should be here. You’d fall in love with me. You should have seen me. … I just plucked a bunch of mallards and wood ducks this morning, which is a sacred event.”

Sometimes the simple things in life can be thrilling. “I’ve been 70 years clean and sober except for all the fumes from racing fuel and leafing through the pages of MotorTrend magazine,” he says. “As I approached my 70th birthday, I get to talk to MotorTrend! This is awesome, because I’m a horsepower addict. And genuinely am at the alter of all things horsepower and MotorTrend. Cool.”

Nugent got the Hellcat for its power, after having two Corvette ZR-1s from the ’90s. “When I realized the Mopar blood brothers had put out 700 factory horses, I went. ‘Damn it!’ Because I’ve got so many stupid cars. I mean, it’s stupid to have this many, but they’re all wonderful—trucks and cars and ZR-1s and Bimmers, Suburbans.”

He talks about being mentored by some great names in automobiles when he raced off-road. “You’re not just talking to any old goofball guitar player, although I am the best of the goofball guitar players, but I was actually trained, hands-on lovingly, lick for lick, detail for detail, in the ultimate driving experience, which is off-road racing,” he says. “Literally mentored and guided by Parnelli Jones and Mickey Thompson and Bill Stroppe, Rick Mears, Ironman Stewart. I won some; I finished a bunch and crashed a bunch. I’ve been under the tutorship of the gods of driving, and I played bass with Chuck Berry, so where else do I go?”

Nugent starts to count how many cars he has. “I have Ford Broncos that Bill Stroppe, the world’s greatest off-road vehicle builders have built for me, so I know what handling is, and I know what suspension travel and torque and control and g-forces are,” he says. “And damn, this Hellcat is like a Gibson Byrdland through a stack of a Fender amplifiers. It’s perfect.”

He’s got five pickups, three Broncos, an Escalade, a Suburban, and 1995 Corvette ZR-1 that only has 300 miles. His wife’s BMW is the only non-American car he has.

“They’re all workhorses—they’re all utilitarian and pragmatic as all hell when you love to drive and you use them in their engineered applications, so off-road stuff and swamp running,” Nugent says. “They talk about the road less traveled. That’s not good enough. I go where no road exists and it’s untraveled in my Broncos. But they’re all wonderful.”

When one mentions that having five pickups and three Broncos seems redundant, Nugent agrees. “If I’m anything, it’s redundant!” he says.

“My band told me when we were finishing the record and the tour, ‘If the 25-year-old Ted Nugent showed up, you’d kick his ass.’ At 70, you’re damn right I’m redundant, because all the best gratifying, stimulating things in life is what you repeat as often as possible!” he says. “Have you heard the opening lick to ‘Stranglehold’? Who would not want to be redundant and play that a million times? I have a number of homes and hunting camps, and so up north I’ve got a pickup truck and a Bronco, and here in the southern Michigan swamps, I have a couple pickups.”

When he’s home in Texas, he’s got his Cadillac Escalade and Dodge Ram and a 1974 Bronco. “Just an awesome f–king vehicle,” he says of the Bronco. “And then I will ship my Hellcat. Here’s one thing I never thought I would do—no matter where I go, I ship the Hellcat, because I can’t live without it. The Hellcat is my baby when there’s pavement; the ZR-1 I don’t drive anymore because it’s only got 400 horsepower. My lawn mower has that much. I don’t, now that I got the Hellcat.”

1990 Ford Bronco

Rating: 10

“I got this original ’82 morphed into a 1990 Ford Bronco that is full Baja gonzo,” he says. “It’s a Zebra Bronco with a Roush Yates V-8 with 860 horsepower. It’s got Currie axles, so I can climb up your face if I wanted to. That’s just a hellacious swap runner. There’s nothing you can’t do in that Bronco.”

It’s got 1990 body parts, making it more of a 1990 Bronco. “Ford morphed it into a ’90 because they put it on display in a bunch of shows. But the technology, the suspension, Roush Yates V-8, come on! It’s a dream truck.”

The Bronco is there for anything Nugent wants to do. “That truck is the vehicular Great White Buffalo. It doesn’t back away from the storm—it looks for the storm and heads straight into it,” Nugent says.

1966 Ford Bronco

Rating: 10

Nugent loves his original 1966 Bronco. “It’s a half cab, and it’s a frame-off rebuild by Build A Bronco here in Michigan, a beautiful 302 V-8 in it, and I pose with that with all kinds of tasty, delicious, barbeque, sacrificial critters in the back,” he says. “There’s a cult out here of Bronco lovers. The ’66 through ’77 Bronco cult is hardcore.”

The Bronco is a perfect 10 to Nugent because it’s the first year Ford made them. “It’s collectible as hell, it’s all state-of-the-art driveline and suspension, and it just goes and goes and goes, and all my Bronco-loving cult gang, they just genuflect at the altar of original Broncos.”

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2000 Ford F-250 Super Duty

Rating: 10

“I’ve got this workhorse 2000 F-250 Super Duty with a V-10 that goes anywhere. It’s got a 6-inch lift and 37-inch BFGoodrich Mud Terrain tires, and it’s a workhorse,” he says. “It carries firewood and critters. So it’s a ranching, farming, hands-on, conservation resource steward environmental workhorse.”

Nugent loves the truck, whose engine he says has been tuned to produce about 450 horsepower. “It’s got a winch in the front, a winch in the back so I can haul stuff into the backend when I have big animals. It’s a workhorse and an absolute 10.”

2004 Dodge Ram

Rating: 10

“The Ram I got from Dodge because they used 11 seconds of my song ‘Stranglehold.’ It’s the sexiest song in the history of noise. The Dodge Ram also has a lift, and it’s got the 37s, it’s got the posi and limited slip, auxiliary KC Daylighters. It’s another workhorse.”

The off-road-ready Ram is his all-purpose ranching truck. “I’ve pulled so many vehicles out of ditches and saved them in floods, and people don’t know how to drive when there’s a raging rapids in front of them,” he says. “So I saved their lives by winching them the hell out of there. It’s a workhorse, but because it’s got a Hemi, it’s also fun to drive.”

Nugent says all of his trucks are tweaked for performance, power, handling, and fun. “Driving is fun. It’s a big deal. I look forward to driving,” he says. “You want to go on a ride with Ted Nugent in any one of my vehicles during rush hour and watch me teach people lessons. It’s so beautiful.”

2018 Cadillac Escalade

Rating: 10

This is the ride Nugent drives when he’s with his kids and grandkids. “That runs great. If you want a family vehicle that still handles and has some oomph,” he says.

He also uses the Escalade for his charity work with military and children’s charities. “We’re always picking people up from the airport and taking them hunting and to the shooting range, campfires, on boat trips,” he says. “The most powerful relationship I have with my trucks is that when we do charity work for severely wounded heroes of the military and terminally ill and special-needs children, their favorite thing is to go off-roading with me in one of my trucks,” he says with a laugh. “I don’t threaten their lives, but we go to the edge. We go places that it doesn’t look like we should, and they really get a lot of laughter and a lot of fun out of that.”

Nugent also occasionally drives his wife’s 2012 BMW 640i he got for her birthday, which they keep at their condo in Naples. “I don’t go to Naples much, but when I do, I drive the damn car,” he says. “It’s another vehicle that represents our demand for fun, handling, performance, driving. But once we get a vehicle that we love, we don’t get rid of them; we like to become one with them.”

Car he learned to drive in

Nugent was born and raised in Detroit, the Motor City, and as he calls it “the wrench capital of the world.” By the time he turned 16, his mom had a four-door 1963 Chevy Biscayne he learned to drive in.

“It had a 283, which was pretty oomphy, and back then the muscle car era was coming on when I learned to drive,” he says. “But we also had a 1949 Oldsmobile, and it was just awesome. We called it the ‘Gray Goose,’ and my dad would let me drive that around our neighborhood in the outskirts of Detroit.”

Growing up near the headquarters of the Detroit Three automakers, Nugent learned the basics like gas, brake, clutch, steering, turn signals, and leaning forward to see over the steering wheel. “So I’ve always been fascinated by mobility and cars and horsepower,” he says.

When he got his license in 1964, Nugent drove the Biscayne around. “I would take off the air cleaner and put pieces of two-by-four in the A-frame of the suspension so it would have a rake. Then I’d paint the wheelwells canary yellow and put a flashlight under there,” he says.

Back then Nugent would often race other cars on the street. “I would beat Ford Fairlanes with 352s, and I would beat the occasional 325 LeMans,” he says. “Everybody lived for that stuff. That’s why the music has velocity, because it was all based on the mobility factor, whether it was the Beach Boys celebrating 409 or Jan and Dean.”

Both his mom and dad taught him i from PerformanceJunk WP Feed 3 http://bit.ly/2FmFcQx via IFTTT