#so I'm gonna be working on this one for a while I suspect...

[afniel]

I went to play Stardew Valley but instead my computer has decided to throw a BSOD every five minutes for no clear reason that I can get from the event viewer, so I guess I'm waiting for the memory diagnostic to run instead and that's going to take...at the speed it's going and the amount of RAM I have...all night at minimum. Yaaaaay. >:\ I can fix it, I'm pretty sure, but man, let me play Stardew Valley. I was excited about the update.

I'm so glad I write on my phone. I'd shit the bed at least as hard as my computer is if I had to stop just because SOMEONE decided to throw a goddamn KERNEL_SECURITY_CHECK_FAILURE multiple times in a row and die instead of doing their job. Like bro come on I throw errors all day and you don't see me shutting down about it, Dagstjarna.

(That's my computer's name, and also a FFXIV RP character, but that's traditionally how I name electronics. The only real exception was The New Hotness, my previous desktop.)

[ratherchili]

 𖹭 cw: suggestive, edgy, mdni

part one | two | three | four | five ‹soon›

You can't say you weren't warned about your big brother's friend sukuna, but nothing could have truly prepared you for him.

"Funny looking how?" You ask, arching an eyebrow.

"Just go to your room while he's here," your brother Toji urges. "Don't need you feeding his ego, goddamnit."

"He's funny looking and somehow my presence will feed his ego?" You deadpan, with zero inclination to forfeit your comfy spot on the couch. "Make it make sense, Toji. Or better yet, fuck off so I can finish this cover letter," you gesture at the open laptop sitting on your thighs. "Faster I can get out of this shithole, the better," you grumble.

Although, your brother's place is far from a shithole, in truth. You know better than to ask how he affords it doing nothing but fucking around with the sinister assortment of thugs he calls friends. In turn, he doesn't ask you about the unfortunate circumstances that landed you in one of his spare rooms... again.

Toji groans. "Yeah he gets off on scaring people. Especially girls. Especially hot girls. And, I suspect, especially girls who are related to me."

"Gross," you say, directing you attention back to the screen. "I'm not scared of your asshole friend and I'm not moving."

Toji opens his mouth to protest further, but too late. There is a loud knock on the door followed by it crashing open and thunderous footsteps coming down the hall.

Despite more than a little curiosity regarding your brother's funny looking friend, you manage to keep your eyes on your work.

Toji is grumbling some weak attempt to direct the visitor toward the "stuff" in the garage when a shadow falls over you. Still, you continue typing.

"Who's this?" A deep voice growls. "Not gonna introduce me?"

"Just my little sister. Leave her alone, Sukuna. She's a bitch anyway."

"Fuck you, Toji. And a preemptive fuck you to you, too, whoever you a- hey, ow!" You exclaim as the newcomer slams the laptop closed on your fingers. "What the h-" the exclamation dies on your lips when you finally raise your eyes to see the largest man you have ever seen looming over you.

He is a lot to take in. You silently curse Toji for not warning you properly. "Kind of funny looking" does not even begin to describe the thing standing before you. Four crimson eyes stare back at you, two of which are set in a twisted mass of keloid scar tissue that takes up most of one side of his tattoed face. Eyes aren't the only anatomical feature he has extra of, you notice. Two sets of muscular arms protrude from the cut off sleeves of his t-shirt.

It takes a lot to render you speechless, but the sight of him does the trick. Although, you can't help but think that the smirking bastard somehow makes the odd look work for him. Yeah. 'Circus sideshow level freak but kinda hot' would've been a better descriptor. Although you manage to hold the man's gaze, you're sure your eyes are as wide as saucers. To your horror, you feel heat creeping up your neck as your lip twitches in search of something - anything - to say that might lessen the humiliation you feel. And Toji was right, this jerk is eating it up.

"Toj said you were ugly, but jesus..." you say, when you finally regain your composure.

Sukuna laughs, flashing a set of pointed canines before he abruptly turns to follow your brother towards the garage.

"I like her," he says, hooking a thumb over his shoulder in your general direction, which, for some reason, makes your heart beat a little too hard.

"No, man." Toji groans. "Just no."

part one | two | three | four | five ‹soon›

[astonmartinii]

put it all on red (bull) | max verstappen social media au

pairing: max verstappen x fem russell reader

her brother won the race? does she know? does she care?

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

yourusername

liked by alexalbon, georgerussell63 and 204,300 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

yourusername: VIVA LAS VEGAS

view all comments

user3: this is fucking hilarious

user4: her whole ass brother won the actual race and there's not a peep of him on the post

user5: i mean her boyfriend did win the championship...

yourusername: exactlyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy i mean my instagram is for pretty girls only

user6: do not erase george's beauty

yourusername: nothing to erase girlypop - FUGLY!

user7: the way the guys are in the media pen and can't see that y/n is coming for their necks in instagram comments

user8: i fear she's already started drinking...

user9: in the back of the sky broadcast she hands max a drink and i'm starting to suspect that it was not water or red bull

user10: LMAO HELMUT TOOK A SIP AND LIKE NEARLY FELL OVER

yourusername: i've never claimed to be good at mixing drinks

maxverstappen1: WHERE WAS THE TONIC ???

yourusername: i don't believe in tonic 💔

maxverstappen1: YOU GAVE ME STRAIGHT GIN?

yourusername: straight 🤣

maxverstappen1: Y/N THAT'S ATTEMPTED MURDER ON HELMUT ???

yourusername: free me i did nothing wrong !!!

user11: these people kill me

user12: sign of a healthy relationship is making gay allegations about each other

yourusername: ALLEGATIONS ???

yourusername: george is lucky that he was the first russell carmen met ...

georgerussell63: RIGHT, I HAVE HAD ENOUGH

georgerussell63: thank you for the congratulations but STOP flirting with MY girlfriend

yourusername: congratulations??? for what?

georgerussell63: WINNING THE RACE?

yourusername: boring!

georgerussell63: you are so lucky we're family because you are a few cards short of a deck

yourusername: CARDS? that reminds me ... time to gamble!

maxverstappen1

liked by oscarpiastri, charles_leclerc and 1,342,988 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: winning without the fastest car isn't for everyone

view all comments

user13: this caption has y/n russell written all over it

yukitsunoda0511: i sat here and watched them giggle to themselves for a good five minutes while posting this

user14: tell max to post more pictures like the second one

yukitsunoda0511: they are not safe for innocent eyes and they are not taken with a locked door :/

user15: why are you there ???

yukitsunoda0511: they're very generous when they're drunk !

user16: so real

yukitsunoda0511: it's also not just me :(

user17: just how many people are using the bar tab?

liamlawson30: me!

oscarpiastri: me!

charles_leclerc: me!

landonorris: me!

pierregasly: me!

alexalbon: me!

yourusername: broke bitches

carlossainz55: you do not have a job?

yourusername: gambling and being pretty is more of a job that what you will have next season 🤨

carlossainz55: has anyone ever told you you're a really mean drunk

yourusername: just george about a billion times, you get used to it (we just don't invite you out)

user18: she is just dragging anyone now

user19: hold on that is her boyfriend's work boyfriend's enemy

user20: girl is 90% of lestappen twitter's source and you think she's not gonna have a problem with sainz???

yourusername: you're so sexy i actually can't even function

maxverstappen1: gotta put the trophy in trophy husband somehow

yourusername: jokes aside i am super duper proud of you, this year has been insane and you've proven that you are the bestest eva

maxverstappen1: couldn't have done it without my fave cheerleader

yourusername: i'll wear the uniform and everything ....

schecoperez: STOP

georgerussell63: still no congratulations? i know you won the title or whatever but we're going to be brothers soon SHOW SOME RESPECT

yourusername: literally suck his dick

yourusername: wait no

yourusername: suck my dick

yourusername: WAIT NO

yourusername: choke ❤️

georgerussell63: i have no words at this point

maxverstappen1: so romantic hehehehe

yourusername

liked by alexalbon, kimiantonelli and 410,300 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

yourusername: put it all on on red (bull)

view all comments

user22: ma'am why is there a cat?

user23: i think we already know the answer

user24: oh i know the answer i just wanna know the batshit explanation

georgerussell63: exsqueeze me ???

yourusername: don't speak like that about your nephew ??

georgerussell63: tell me you're not keeping it??

maxverstappen1: IT? HE JUST LEAPFROGGED YOU IN OUR WILL

georgerussell63: 1. you have a joint will ??? 2. why am i on it ??? 3. what is a cat doing with a monaco penthouse ???

maxverstappen1: i thought you could use the money ? i know toto ain't paying you what he promised me

yourusername: george your weird sugar daddy is more broke than you think sorry xx

georgerussell63: once again, what is stopping me taking the monaco house from a literal cat ?

yourusername: caesar will be very aware of his rights string bean - just because you talk in an uppity accent doesn't mean you actually know anything

georgerussell63: i cannot tell who corrupted who but i am sick of being your victim :(

user25: yes as fun as watching them dog george is i do want to know caesar's origin story

user26: i have a very bad feeling i know where he got his name

alexalbon: HE'S NOT NAMED AFTER THE CASINO IS HE?

yourusername: ding ding ding we have a winner, always knew you were the smarter half of galex

maxverstappen1: your gambling is getting out of hand

yourusername: did i or did i not win us a cat ?

maxverstappen1: AND £250,000 ???

yourusername: didn't want to promote gambling too much

yourusername: KIDS DO NOT GAMBLE IT IS DUMB

yourusername: look at me i literally have a child now ???

user27: we have lost the original plot of the movie

user28: you must be new, we stopped trying to make sense of these two years ago

lewishamilton: i can assure you it does not get any easier when you know them personally

yourusername: we aim to be sexy and mysterious

lewishamilton: that's strange because you guys dance like little boys and overshare at any given opportunity

maxverstappen1: guilty !

georgerussell63

liked by alexalbon, landonorris and 873,409 others

tagged: lewishamilton, yourusername & maxverstappen1

georgerussell63: i won the las vegas grand prix and all i got was this lousy cat

view all comments

user29: i am sensing a y/n and max meltdown incoming

user30: maybe they're too hungover to argue?

yourusername: NEVER

maxverstappen1: LOUSY CAT? FIRST OF ALL HE'S NOT YOURS SO KEEP HIS NAME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND ALSO I WILL KILL YOU WITH A GUN

georgerussell63: excuse me?

yourusername: do NOT threaten my boyfriend !!!!!!!!

georgerussell63: do you have selective sight or something?

yourusername: no i just like him more than i like you

georgerussell63: you only met him because of me?

maxverstappen1: i have faith we would've found each other regardless we have a SOUL TIE

yourusername: EXACTLY

georgerussell63: i give up.

yourusername: this is exactly why you don't have a championship ... no drive (pun intended)

georgerussell63: NOW THAT'S IT

maxverstappen1: are you threatening my girlfriend?

georgerussell63: OMG LEAVE ME ALONE

user31: their commitment to never letting george have a day of peace is really quite charming

user32: they're going to give him grey hairs before he even turns 27

alexalbon: i gotta say georgie, i'm not with you on this one - caesar is THE dude

georgerussell63: are all my eggs falling out of the basket at once?

maxverstappen1: that's called karma for calling caesar 'it' and a lousy cat

georgerussell63: i can't lie i am missing your honeymoon phase you guys were a lot nicer

yourusername: we never left the honeymoon phase we just like annoying all of you

maxverstappen1: makes you people leave us alone :3

landonorris: you don't have to be mean to do that

yourusername: YOU JUST GOT OFF OF THIN ICE NORRIS WATCH YOUR STEP

user33: they can make excuses all these want but they just like annoying everyone else

user34: i mean based on their vegas shenanigans i think they would be super fun to be around

yourusername: oscar literally came to stay while he 'looked for a flat' in monaco and hasn't left... it's been three months. face it we're a HOOT

oscarpiastri: they are fun! the secret is to not be annoying sorry george!

maxverstappen1: they grow up so fast :')

maxverstappen1

liked by charles_leclerc, danielricciardo and 984,036 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: took a gamble when i went for the lanky posh dude's sister and i can now say it was definitely worth it

view all comments

user37: bro says snug as a bug in a rug once and now he's labelled as posh HE'S FROM NORFOLK

user38: it's also the way that y/n never gets the posh allegations

georgerussell63: it's because she's scruffy as fuck x

maxverstappen1: literally outside your house with a knife, keep talking

georgerussell63: i'm a grown man, max, you don't scare me

maxverstappen1: so i'm free to do a little gardening while you hide inside?

georgerussell63: you wouldn't...

yourusername: GO FOR THE PEONIES MAX

georgerussell63: NOT THE PEONIES I BEG HAVE MERCY

user39: so i'm supposed to read all of this shit and take them seriously when they get in the car

user40: it's part of the charm i think

user41: it's all fun and games until you remember they are full grown adults who can vote who are arguing over flowers

yourusername: i'd go through the strenuous task of growing up with george thousands more times just to be with you

maxverstappen1: i've been in love with you since i was 14, there has never been anyone else for me and there will never be anyone else for me

yourusername: ugh why didn't we just get married in vegas ?

maxverstappen1: because even though i did just harm his flowers, i do want to marry you in front of our families

yourusername: i guess you're right

georgerussell63: you know what? based on how you usually talk to me... i'm touched

yourusername: if i'm feeling generous i'll even let you do the seating chart

georgerussell63: I LOVE YOU BEST SISTER EVER

user42: only a declaration of love between max and y/n could end with george proclaiming his love for charts

user43: how does one procure an invite to this wedding ...

yourusername: be cunty

yourusername: @zakbrownceo YOU'RE BARRED

yourusername

liked by landonorris, alexalbon and 409,300 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

yourusername: i'm the sibling who can't drive and yet i'm the one with four championship trophies in their house... george, step your pussy up x

view all comments

user44: omg queen who can't drive, she's such representation

yourusername: george says i'm so mean all the time but really i'm generous, i clearly gave him all the driving genes

user45: have you even tried driving?

yourusername: i went on max's sim once and got motion sickness and i'm also with the best driver in the world and siblings with an okay one - i'm surviving

alexalbon: he's already texted me about your language on this post

yourusername: just because he's a boomer in a string bean's body does not mean i must censor myself - he should know what stepping his pussy up means by now

georgerussell63: i will not be stepping on any pussy, i respect both felines and women

maxverstappen1: you called caesar 'it' so PLEASE

georgerussell63: i respect women?

maxverstappen1: you called y/n scruffy?

georgerussell63: that's y/n it doesn't count

maxverstappen1: that's not very feminist of you george. i am disappointed

yourusername: i agree, i really think the GDPA should reconsider the type of person they're letting run it

georgerussell63: huh?

yourusername: not once have i been invited to a grid meal ....

georgerussell63: well you're not on the grid that's why

yourusername: FEMALE EXCLUSION

maxverstappen1: you know we have attachment issues, you're so heartless george

georgerussell63: what is going on ???

yourusername: you CLEARLY don't care about me

maxverstappen1: and you CLEARLY don't care about the wellbeing of the grid

georgerussell63: I'M SORRY???

user46: george is unbelievably easy to rattle

user47: it must be so fun

yourusername: oh believe me, we have way too much fun

maxverstappen1: we once convinced him that it was a social faux pas to shake hands in japan lol

georgerussell63: IS THAT WHY MERCEDES WERE TOLD THAT EVERYONE THOUGHT I WAS REALLY RUDE ???

yourusername: LMAOOOOOOOO

maxverstappen1: so so so easy bro

user48: i guess a couple that plays mind tricks together, stay together?

yourusername: 4eva

maxverstappen1: til death do us part

yourusername: quite literally you're not leaving me alone with GEORGE

georgerussell63: you know what: DIE

yourusername: GASP

maxverstappen1: @fia get his ass

fin.

note: HAPPY MAX VERSTAPPEN CHAMPIONSHIP DAY TO ALL WHO CELEBRATE. IE. ME LOL

[phantomrose96]

Season 3 Elias is so goddamn fucking funny to me I forgot what a rollercoaster he was during my first listen.

Like the s2 finale has Jurgen Leitner giving Jon the whole "monsters are real speech" and Jon's like "I need a cigarette. NO ONE get brutal pipe murdered while I'm gone" and Jurgen fails step 1 because Elias walks in and grabs Jon's point-and-click-adventure pipe he'd been carrying around and Brutal Pipe Murders. Which, of course, Jon walks back in on and is prime suspect #1 due to literally every single feature trait and word he's said in the entirety of s2.

So naturally s3 starts with Jon on the lam and Officer Tonner like "I'm gonna arrest him for brutal pipe murder" and I'M like "Shit. I hate this. Elias is going to SO easily pin it on Jon and get away with it."

EXCEPT Elias walks in and is like "hello Ms. Officer no Jon Archivist did not kill that man, also I won't tell you anything else, also this is what you sound like" while reciting all her childhood trauma and all her illegal activity that will get HER sent to jail for brutal murder of the non-pipe variety and now I'm like "....huh." He's also like "Jon didn't do it but you can kill him if you want maybe :)" Elias your alibi????

And then we come BACK with Jon storming Elias's office with his two lesbian bodyguards as back up and he's like "I'm gonna use my powers to make you confess to pipe murder!" At which point Elias is like "It doesn't work on me. But I'm having fun so Martin go get everyone I need to tell you all how I committed pipe murder." and Martin does and Elias is like "Yes I pipe murdered. I also killed Gertrude. I love murder. You will not be compensated extra for this time. Get back to work." And they... DO... just go back to work. Because work is haunted. One of the lesbian police officers works here now, too. This just happened. "Also living dolls from Russia are about to Apocalypse the world, Jon go stop it," Elias says, while also saying "no I'm not gonna tell you how to stop it."

Okay???? Mr. Elias man??? And you're like "maybe he's a ruthless tactician? Maybe he's brutal but it's all in the interest of stopping the doll apocalypse??? He wants to save the earth???" Except THAT'S not even true it's actually more like he's trying to get the Russian dolls kicked out of line at Disney World so HE gets to meet Mickey Mouse first by which I mean, start his OWN Apocalypse, because if the dolls do it first well then what's the point of apocalypsing a planet that's become someone else's sloppy seconds.

Anyway Elias's master strategy here is to bring the human equivalent of a drowned cat to the gun fight and just sit back and watch Jon fall down every set of stairs he finds while Elias goes "This is good. This will work." His name isn't even fucking Elias.

[tedmustache]

Hi, may I request Jack Abbot x fem!reader with them almost getting caught going at it while at work by different coworkers and no one knows they're together, but the one that does catch them is Whitaker or Robby and Jack is like "I'm helping her find something." Pls and thank you! 🥰😁

a/n: I loved this idea! Hope you like it :)

Adrenaline

Pairing: Jack Abbot x Reader

Summary: In the nonstop chaos of The Pitt, two ER doctors find something dangerously steady in each other. Between late shifts, locked doors, and close calls, they navigate a secret that’s as thrilling as it is fragile—because in a place where nothing stays quiet for long, hiding how you feel might be the riskiest move of all.

Warnings: innuendos

Requests are open | Main Masterlist

[...]

It started in the quiet in-between moments, those fractured seconds where the world narrowed to the heat of a shared laugh in the break room, the electric brush of fingers over a patient’s chart, the way his thumb would linger on your wrist when passing a syringe.  

You told yourself it was nothing. 

But then came the late shifts, the ones that left your bones aching and your lungs raw with the scent of antiseptic. Nights when the ER’s fluorescent lights flickered like dying stars, and the only thing that didn’t feel heavy was him. 

Jack, with his stupid smirk and the way he could make you forget the blood on your scrubs with a single glance. That was the danger.  

You were ease in chaos. And chaos was all you had.  

No one suspected. Not even Perlah and Princess, who had a sixth sense for gossip.

But then again, you were both professionals.  

The first close call happened in radiology, wedged between filing cabinets and the ghostly glow of old MRIs. You were supposed to be pulling images for a pelvic fracture. Instead, you were pressed against cold metal, Jack’s mouth tracing your jawline, his hands mapping the bare skin beneath your scrub top like he was memorizing it.  

"Someone’s going to walk in," you breathed, half-laughing, half-terrified.  

"Then we’ll be quick," he murmured against your pulse. "Five minutes. Ten, tops."  

You shoved him back, but your fingers curled into his sleeves. "You’re the worst."  

"You love it."  

And you almost said something reckless—something true—when—  

Knock. Knock.  

"Anyone in there? I need Walker scans!"  

Dana

Jack moved like a soldier under fire. Smooth, practiced, already spinning a lie as he straightened your scrub with one hand. He cracked the door, all lazy charm and raised brows. "Just grabbing them. They were misfiled behind expired head CTs. Classic."  

Dana’s eyes narrowed. "Why’s the door locked?"  

"Security protocol."  

"That’s not a thing."  

"It is now, check your email"  

She scoffed but let it go. The moment the footsteps faded, you sagged against the cabinet, heart hammering.  

"Security protocol?" you whispered, biting back a laugh.  

Jack’s grin was pure mischief. "Looked convincing, didn't it?"  

[...]

The end of the charade came a week later, in the hushed glow of the imaging room. The ER had been a warzone all shift. Gunshot wounds, a code blue, a toddler with a bead lodged so far up her nose you’d almost laughed from sheer exhaustion. You and Jack moved in sync, though, a single organism with four hands, finishing each other’s orders without speaking.  

And then, between one breath and the next, he cornered you under the hum of the machines.  

"Missed you today," he murmured into your temple, voice rough with fatigue.  

"You handed me a scalpel an hour ago."  

"Yeah." His lips grazed your cheekbone. "Missed you while doing it."  

This time, you kissed him first—slow, deep, a silent confession in the dark.  

Cue the door swinging open.  

"Jack, do you—oh."  

Robby.  

The three of you froze. Jack shifted instinctively, blocking you with his body (pointless, but sweet). Robby blinked, processing, then slowly backed out.  

"I’m gonna pretend I didn’t see anything."  

Jack cleared his throat. "She was looking for something."  

A beat. Then, from the hallway:  

"Under your scrubs?"  

"Very thorough search," you called back, deadpan, before collapsing into silent laughter against Jack’s chest. He just pressed a kiss to your hair, like getting caught was nothing. Like you were everything.  

[...]

Later, in the ambulance bay, the city exhaled around you—streetlights bleeding into rain-slick pavement, the distant wail of sirens a reminder that the world kept turning. You sipped terrible coffee, shoulders touching.  

"So," you said. "Robby knows."  

Jack shrugged. "Yeah. Probably."  

"You’re okay with that?"  

He turned, eyes dark and sure. "I already have what I want." A thumb brushed your knuckles. "Let them talk. They don’t get to know what this is unless we say so."  

You nudged him. "And if someone else walks in on us?"  

Jack’s smirk was a promise. "Then I’ll say I’m helping you find something."  

"Yeah? What exactly am I looking for?"  

His voice dropped, stripped bare of jokes.  

"Me."  

And this time, in the quiet, no one interrupted. 

[notjayh15]

MY Eyes Only

i saw @slutzforbueckers wanting this idea put into a fic, so all props to them for the idea, ask and thy shall receive

warnings: smut, cursing, strap-on use (r!recieving), praise kink, fingering (r!recieving), overstimulation, mild degradation if you squint, lmk if I missed anything

a/n: I lowkey have not written anything in like a year, so hopefully this isn’t too bad, enjoy!

Paige usually wasn’t the snooping type, I mean occasionally she would stalk your Instagram likes, or peek at your phone when you got a notification, but other than that she gave you your privacy.

That was, until, she watched a video on TikTok of someone going through their significant other’s My Eyes Only on Snapchat. Being the curious and easily persuaded person she was, Paige waited until you were in the shower to grab your phone and unlock it. Paige had your phone passcode, obviously because you had nothing to hide. However, finding the password to your My Eyes Only would be one of the most difficult things of her life. Paige started with the usual suspected passwords of yours, such as ILOVEPB5, PBJ5, etc. She found none of them were the correct ones to unlock whatever you had hidden in this Pandora’s box. Listening closely to make sure the shower was still running, she opened your notes app and found the password right there.

“Paige, what the fuck?!” you exclaim, snatching your phone out of her grip, as your other hand grips the towel to your chest.

“Yo, it wasn’t what it looked like, ma.” She lied, putting her hands up in defense,

"Oh yeah? It looked like you went through my phone!" you yelled,

"Chill down, it's a trend on TikTok, no need to get all worked up. And you looked sexy as hell baby." Paige got up off the couch and approached you, her hands immediately going to your hips. Your face was tinted a shade of red, whether it was from the situation at hand, or your recent shower was.

"Shut up, I'm mad at you."

"I can fix that."

And that's how you ended up here, bent over your shared bed, reciting Paige's name like a poem. She was pistoning in and out of you with her purple strap, stretching you out deliciously.

"Mm, Paige slow down, fuck-!" You moaned out, twisting the sheets in your grip.

"Nah ma, you wanna look good as hell in all them photos, and not send em' to me? You can take this dick then." She replied, thrusting deeper with a soft slap to your ass.

"Paige, please, it's too much!" You yell out again, trying to push yourself farther up the bed, out of her reach,

"Hell nah it ain't. You can take it, c'mon." Paige chuckles, picking up the pace as she presses soft kisses to your shoulder. At this rate, you wouldn't be surprised if the neighbors knew Paige's name already, or if there would be a noise complaint filed. Paige reached around your bodies to softly rub your clit, ripping yet another needy moan from the depths of your throat.

"Paige! F-fuck I'm gonna come, baby!" You exclaim, grabbing at her wrist to stabilize yourself.

"Oh yeah? You gonna cum all over my dick like a slut, huh?" She chuckles coldly, her grip tight on your hips as she continues to pound into you,

"Mhm, please let me cum Paigey, please!"

"Ight' cum for me baby." she kisses your shoulder once again, as you come undone around her strap, your eyes rolling back and loud moans coming from your mouth.

Paige gently pulls out, and you lay there, panting and shaking from your previous orgasm.

"Hol' up ma, we ain't done yet." she says, kissing your cheek as she slides two fingers into your sopping cunt.

"Paige, I can't, I'm too sensitive!" a whine comes from your throat as you grab at her wrist.

"You can, and you will," she growls, curling her middle and ring finger inside of you, causing you to throw your head back. She continues like this for a while, fucking you deep with her fingers, hitting the spongy spot inside of you until you see stars.

"Shit, I'm gonna cum again! Fuck, Paige!" you wail, your walls clenching tight around her fingers as she helps you through whatever number orgasm this was.

Your juices coat your inner thighs and her fingers as she licks them clean.

"Was that good?" Paige asked, crawling up beside you as she planted a soft kiss on your head.

"It was amazing." you pant out, curling up against her body.

"That'll teach you to not send me hot-ass photos of my girl." She smiles, as she pulls the covers over the both of you"

Or maybe I'll do it again if this is my punishment."

a/n: yall please Imk if this sucked ass so I know if I need to retire from writing. -jayh signing out

[0mg-bird]

i would love it if you did a fic about bob finally introducing his shyer!girlfriend to the daggers! cute teasing, fluff, all the works <3

unrelated, but would you ever consider making a masterlist?

Hi! Thank you for the ask! And yes, I will be working on a master list soon, it just takes too much work for me to do as of this moment 😭. Bear with me y’all! I’m new at this! Anyway, here’s the story, hope you don’t hate it <3

Bob Floyd x Shy!Girlfriend Reader

“No.”

“Sweetheart.”

“Absolutely not, Robert.”

Bob sighed, leaning against the door while he watched you comb your hair. He’d brought up the idea he’d been toying with all day, only to get the answer he suspected he was going to get from you.

“Honey, it won’t be horrible. Look, the squad wants to meet you, and I want to introduce you to them."

He's hard to resist, looking at you with those puppy dog eyes of his. You understood his reasoning, but the idea of being surrounded on the beach with a bunch of cocky aviators...well, that was something you didn't really like the idea of.

You groan, looking at his reflection in the mirror before fully turning to face him. You give him a pouty look, one that makes him come forward and hold your face in his hands. "They're not gonna like me." You say, muffled from the way your cheeks are squished in his hold.

"Yes they will." He says.

"I'm boring."

"Your the most interesting thing in the world, honey."

He was always so sweet with his words, he calms your nerves every time. You know it means something to him to have his squad know who his girl is, so you try and be brave, pushing your worry out of your mind. You smile reassuringly. "Okay." You say. "It's a date."

Bob smiles, leaning down to kiss your lips, then your forehead. "It'll be a good day, I promise."

As you get into his bed, surrounded by the scent of him, he pulls you closer. "Maybe then they'll stop saying I'll never get laid." He states, making you look at him with disbelief.

"What, are we in middle school?" You ask.

He lightly chuckles. "You're gonna see the level of immaturity these guys have on Saturday, then you'll understand."

And when Saturday came, you gripped onto his hand like your life depended on it. You wore a white baby doll dress over your bikini, your sandals in your hand as you walked across the sand. As the two of you come closer, you see the group of pilots all gathered, setting up camp.

"Well, look who showed up." One of them call out as you come to join them.

You immediately blush at the amount of eyes on you They all look you over, almost like they were detectives and you were a case they needed to crack. You get introduced to them and quickly come to learn just what Bob meant, this group of the best fighter pilots in North America were no better than kids.

"I uh, I brought some snacks if y'all want some." You say, laying out multiple floral tupperware containers that were filled with homemade goods. Immediately, the boys were on it, fighting over who got what. They reminded you of seagulls.

Natasha, who was the most excited to meet the girl who Bob spoke about non stop, is yelling at the boys to mind their manners. "You wouldn't even think they were functioning adults." She jokes, making you smile.

You wait till the last minute to take your cover off, looking at the well built bodies around you made you retreat to modesty as a defense. You didn't put on your usual bathing suit because Bob said you should wear his favorite one. One that showed more skin, one that drew more attention to you. Stupidly, you agreed with him and put it on. You regret that decision now.

"Aren't you hot?" Nat asks as she pulls her tank top off.

"Oh no, I'm good." You say, giving her an awkward smile and then dig in your bag for the bottle of sunscreen.

You didn't really think it'd be embarrassing to pursue the routine you always have with Bob when you come to the beach, so as he, Hangman, Coyote and Rooster stand, talking about something way above your pay grade, you come to Bob's side. You try not to interrupt their conversation, but words slowly start to slow and they get distracted by the way you pull Bob's glasses off his face. You squirt some of the sunscreen out and into your hands, then you gently apply it to his face. The three others stop and watch, faces full of amusement as you make sure he has an even coverage. Bob doesn't mind, he was never one to be embarrassed of the loving acts you do for him, so you find it strange when you turn around and see the guys watching you.

"That's awfully sweet of you." Coyote comments, and you make the mistake of taking him literally.

"Bob, do you get your mom to fly in and do it for you when she's not around or do you just risk the sunburn?" Hangman teases, making the other two laugh.

You look at the tall aviator. "Sunscreens important, Jake, do you need some? I could help you with it or I'm sure your boyfriend here could do it for you." You say, motioning to Coyote.

Rooster bursts with laughter, wheezing at the joke you make, and behind you, Bob stands with a proud and smug look on his face.

Jake fumbles with his words, in disbelief that you’re being outspoken.

Back at your beach blanket, you clip your hair up and look around, making sure no eyes were directly on you as you pull your dress off and drop it into your bag. Any previous jokes that some of the boys made about Bob finding a goody-two-shoes for a girlfriend, are immediately regretted when they see how great you look in a bikini.

Payback looks ultimately confused. "Anyone else wondering how Baby on Board gets to sleep with a girl like that?" He asks out of ear shot from you.

"Probably because he's not a total dick like you are." Nat suggests.

"Bobby?" You get his attention as you lay on the blanket, holding up the sunscreen, silently asking him to get your back so you can tan for awhile.

At the sound of the name, some of the boys laugh, making you blush.

"Hey, Bobby, will you get my back next?" Fanboy teases, making Bob glare as he sits beside you. "Did he just glare at me?" He asks, in utter disbelief that Bob was capable of it.

Bob undoes the back of your suit, gently running his hands over your bare skin. "Are you good here for awhile? We're gonna play a game of dog fight football." He asks.

You turn your head to look at him. "I'll survive."

He ties your suit back together, then meets your lips as you lean up to kiss him.

It was peaceful, laying and watching the aviators goof around, running up and down the beach. You had no idea that the questions being asked between plays were all about you.

"What'd you do in order to win her over?" Rooster asks, grunting as he throws the football.

"I'm still trying to figure that out." Bob huffs, blocking Fanboy so he can't intercept.

"She's cute, doesn't talk much though." Fanboy adds.

"She does, just not to people she barely knows." Bob defends.

As Hangman runs by, he pauses. "Be honest with us, Bobby, you ever get bored of her?"

Bob looks at him like he's crazy. "Never. One of these days, Hangman, you'll learn that crazy bar girls don't make girlfriends. Maybe my girl's shy but she's a whole lot better than whatever new girl you can't make stick around."

The ones around them laugh at Hangman getting called out for the second time today.

"Jokes aside." Rooster says. "I'm happy for you, man, she seems good to you."

Bob looks back at you lazily reading a book, your feet kicking back and fourth in the air behind you. "Yeah, I really like her...actually I'm gonna ask her to move in."

They all gasp.

"We'll say a prayer for you man." Coyote shakes his head.

At some point, you had rolled onto you back and let your hair down, sunglasses on your face as you rest your eyes. Though, your sun is covered by a shadow after a while. You open our eyes, gazing up at the man who's standing above you. You prop yourself up on your elbows.

"Hi." You grin, watching as Bob pulls his sweaty shirt off, revealing his toned upper body. You move your sunglasses down your nose to get a better look, then take them off entirely.

"Hey, you ready to go into the water?" He asks, making you shake your head.

"I'm good on dry land, sailor."

Bob gives you a smirk. "Now, that's just not going to do."

"I'm okay here, Bobby, go have fun with your squad, they're already in the water." You say.

"So you want me to join them and leave you here?" He asks, making you nod in agreement.

He hums, pausing before leaning down and scooping you into his arms. You gasp, flailing in his hold but his grip is too strong. "Bobby, no! Put me down!"

"Not a chance."

You form a death grip, arms holding tightly around his neck as he makes it to the water with you. "Don't do this." You laugh loudly.

"Are you ready?" He asks.

"No! Bobby!"

He loosens his grip, pretending to drop you, making you yell and tighten your grip around him even more. The dagger squad starts chanting ‘overboard’, and you feel the cool water slosh up against you as Bob walks further in.

“Bobby!”

“One.”

“No, baby, please.”

“Two.”

“Robert Floyd!”

“Three!”

He falls sideways into the water with you, making you sink under before you pop back up, wiping your eyes. You can’t help but laugh, splashing him as he pops up in front of you.

“I can’t believe you.” You say, wrapping your arms around him.

He grins boyishly. “Sorry, honey.”

The squad watches as the two of you swim beside each other.

“So…Bob is getting laid.” Coyote says.

“He’s the only one who is.” Rooster adds.

[oikasugayama]

YOU CATCH HIM M@STURBAT!NG

NSFW, for adults ONLY, MDNI or I'll block you. No idea how many parts this will be. Let me know which BSD men you want to see ;)

pt. 1 Fyodor, Poe, Chuuya | pt. 2 Fukuzawa, Kunikida, Dazai | pt. 3 Ranpo, Akutagawa, Ango | pt. 4 Sigma, Mori, Tetcho | pt. 5 (finale) Atsushi, Nikolai

Fyodor

Walking in on him touching himself is REALLY surprising because he doesn't seem the type to masturbate, in your mind. You straight up couldn't imagine him touching himself until the very second you walked into his office and saw his bottoms around his ankles, his top hiked up around his chest, and his hand furiously pumping over his pale dick.

His head is thrown back, eyes closed, mouth lazily hanging open. You've never seen so much skin on him before. He's PALE pale which makes the brightness of his mouth and tongue and the tip of his cock seem so much brighter.

"oh love, yes, yesss" he moans, and your whole body flushes red with embarrassment and arousal at the same time. You shouldn't be seeing this but you're having a hell of a time turning away from him. You need to leave the room. You need to go. You need to turn around.

"y/n," he purrs, tilting his head and opening his eyes half-way, looking so fucked out and erotic. "do you like what you see?"

You can't formulate an answer, you're standing in the doorway short circuiting, trying to make words but only noises come out

"since you're standing there I thought you might be interested," he says as slow and calm as ever. Even jerking himself off his voice doesn't hitch or raise or speed up and it's honestly really hot right now. "Care to join me?"

"i-i, um... I'm really s-sorry, f...fyodor."

He moans softly biting his lip while still staring straight at you.

"say it again," he purrs. "say my name."

"fyodor..."

"again," he moans, hand working faster.

"Fyodor."

you walk in and close the door behind you.

Poe

You two scheduled a hang-out at his place but despite how many times you knocked on the door, he wouldn't answer...so you try the doorknob, and hey, it's unlocked! You've been to his place many times, you don't mind letting yourself in and don't suspect he'll mind either.

After you put your stuff down and take off your shoes, you register a quiet noise coming from a different room. you sneak closer and realize two things: it's crying, and it's coming from poe's bedroom

you open the door and rush in without thinking. "poe! what's wrong, why are you-- OH FUCK"

you rushed right into him kneeling at the edge of his bed, bouncing on a dildo and not crying, whimpering, moaning.

he calls your name and you can't tell if he meant to moan it but he absolutely moans it and he sounds like a wreck and he looks pathetic and fucked out, and you feel it when he says your name.

"I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have been this, I'm gonna go home--" you say, turning and rushing out of his room. he calls your name after you, multiple times, moaning and moaning and moaning--

you sink down against his front door, still slightly able to hear the sounds of him moaning and whining from his room. you're so horny now, absolutely drenched through your panties/rock hard in your pants. You know you should leave, you know you shouldn't still be here, but he never told you to go, he just kept saying your name...

a few minutes later, after the noises have subsided and the apartment has gotten deadly quiet, his bedroom door creaks open and he slowly peeks his head out. he must be crawling still because he's near the floor.

"[y/n]," he sighs, "I didn't want you to find out like this."

it takes you a second to collect yourself, but you manage to ask "find what out?"

"that i... i think about you... a lot..."

Chuuya

you're on a PM mission with chuuya and several other PM members. you've got to share a room with chuuya, but at least you have separate beds. it's fine. it's whatever. until.

until you wake up one morning--the clock on the bedside table saying it's only 6:23 a.m.--to the sound of a rhythmic slapping, some occasional huffs, a-- a moan?

you sit upright in bed quickly, your head turning toward chuuya's bed.

"are you fucking serious?"

"what" he huffs, and through the tiny bit of daylight creeping through the curtains you can see movement beneath his sheets.

"are you jerking off right now? dude we're sharing a fucking room."

"you were asleep," he says defensively. "not like you noticed yesterday."

"dude!!!"

"get over it, it's fuckin' natural," he says and his voice is getting tight and higher almost like he's biting back a moan or getting close to cumming.

"it's disrespectful when you have someone in the same room, chuuya," you say softer, subconsciously still trying to hear the sounds he's making. you're embarrassed at how intrigued you are

"i'm not stopping you," he says. "you can jerk it too for all i care."

"to what... to you jerking it?"

you can almost hear the smirk in his voice when he says "I never said anything about that, so you thought that up all on your own. is that what you're into, pet?"

[nikyu0]

Are there any fun shenanigans that unfold after the bond in the avatar au? after the angst dies ofc

I actually still have a lot of ideas with the other arcane characters that happen before the bond! Although ldk lf I'm gonna be able to draw them all, because some of the ideas are very lengthy. So, I might as well practice my writing!

One of the ideas involves how Jayce and Viktor begin their relationship with the tribe in the first place.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

Jayce and Viktor have been out on their research trips for a couple of days now. Sergent Caitlyn Kiramman, a fellow avatar driver with combat training, accompanies them for protection. Although they have been exploring the deeper forest for a while, all they have encountered so far was peaceful fauna, yet none of the natives.

"I wasn't expecting that we were so good at hiding our presence to not even spot one na'vi." Jayce remarks as he tries to keep up with Viktor's pace.

"They've known we are here the moment we got off the military base." Viktor assures him while looking down at his tablet. "Afterall, we are in their domain. Just because we don't see them, does not mean they are not here, no?"

The eeriness of Victor's comment made Caitlyn's ears twitch, she couldn't help but look up at the thick tree crowns and scanning through them. As they continued through the forest, she grabbed her firearm tighter.

The trio reaches a cliff that opens a view to the base of the Hallelujah Mountains. All of them in awe as they watch the floating rocks defy gravity right infront of their eyes.

Unfortunately, the devices that were helping them navigate the forest so far, start to act up because of the strong magnetic fields surrounding the mountains. The group begins to consider returning to the base to prepare for tomorrow, when they suddenly hear the sound of a cry, a na'vi battle cry.

They have been spotted by 4 na'vi flying their Ikran, the one leading the patrol being Ekko (in this AU refered as "Eko", is a young warrior na'vi from the tribe that Jayce and Viktor are going to be working with later on. Although smaller than his fellow tribe members, he is known for his skilled flying, amazing scouting and leadership qualities).

He was informed by Vi, who suspected that dreamwalkers started roaming around the forest but was unsure how deep they might enter. Confiming her suspicions, Eko spots the trio too deep for his comfort in the tribes territories, on one of his flying patrols.

He was about to descend to confront them when he noticed the outsiders strangly waving at him in panic and the one with the weapon aming past him. Eko turns back to the sudden calls of his fellow tribemates. That is when he sees the Toruk above him, who was diving straight down to Eko, claws ready to grab him. An air chase through the mountains happens and he finally loses Toruk when he flies through the dense forest which annoyingly results in him falling off his ikran. Although the fall was softened by the big leaves, it still results in him getting injured enough to not make it back alone. His Ikran and fellow tribemates not hearing his calls for help.

That is when he gets discovered by our avatar trio. In an attempt to scare them off, he tries to stand up and grab his knife but yelps in pain. Viktor and Jayce try to calm him down to get closer to examine his wound, but it takes a while, especially with Caitlyn and her firearm facing him. Eko does finally let the two scientists inspect him when they start speaking na'vi and tell Caitlyn to step back.

Viktor tries to create a temporary brace out of branches for Eko but is unable to break the thick wood, frustrated at the tools he has at hand.

"Ugh, we don't have the right equipment here! Only if the labs were closer..." "May I try?" Jayce squats besides Viktor, who states that it is useless but does not stop Jayce from taking the branch. Jayce inspects the thick stick while holding it in his gloved hands, determining how much force he would need to use. "Jayce, I really don't think-." He snaps it with ease before Viktor could finish his sentence.

"Oh! That was easier than I expected... You sure this works as a good support? Maybe I should look for another one?"

Both Viktor and Eko were baffled at what they just witnessed, it wasn't unrealistic but it was definitely surprising to see. The hardness of that branch could compare to a thinner metal rod, and there you have Jayce just snap it in half with no trouble. He continues to ramble about the branch unaware of Viktor's perplexion. Eko simply muttering a low "Tewti.." (translation "what the heck...").

(Turns out Jayce is much stronger than the average na'vi, his Avatar builds muscle much more easily. Similar to Jake Sully.)

The 3 help Eko back to the tribe, where they are already expected. A crowd forms around them, many wary but many curious about the dreamwalkers since this clan had no prior interactions with them, besides through stories from other tribes. Before the leader and tsahik aproaches them, a na'vi, Jinx (in the AU refered as Tsyensk, a peculiar but very creative and innovative na'vi with a strong connection to Eywa, she usually keeps her distance from the tribe in self-exile because of her emotional unpredictability) jumps down from above the trees to check on Eko.

Caitlyn furrows her brow and points out to the two scientists in english that the na'vi girl has been following them since the they found Eko, what none of the 3 expected is that Tsyensk would reply back in english!

[pyrodolls]

SUPERFAN! AND STALKER! YANDERE BOYS X READER HCS

WARNINGS: obsessiveness, sfw, murder, mentions of corpses, just overall unhealthy behavior cuz they're yanderes. (i do not condone yanderes irl and this is for writing purposes) gender neutral reader, no use of y/n.

A/N: guys idk why i havent updated in so long. ig i just havent had much motivation?? anyways ummm i'm still super busy right now and i have 400 assignments due in 3 days but i don't wanna do them soooooo how about i write some short and cute headcanons for y'all? 😁

if bayani was a puppy hybrid...

clingy clingy CLINGY

bros going wherever you go. even if u gotta take a piss he's gonna hold your hand. wait, you don't want him in the bathroom with you? at least let him sit outside!

he is very easy to distract, though. if you ever want to be alone for a while but he just won't leave your side, throw a tennis ball somewhere and it should keep him busy for a solid 10 minutes.

loves snuggling with you. he literally distracts you and takes up at LEAST one hour every morning trying to keep you in bed with him. if you leave him alone in bed, he'll be whining until you come back.

he's also very talkative, and always yapping your ear off about random nonsense, until you tell him to shut up. problem is, if you tell him to shut up, he isn't going to open his mouth again for a few days. he'll be very sulky about it and look up at you with those big puppy dog eyes of his, silently hoping you'll allow him to speak again. as much as he loves hearing you yell at him, he still doesn't want you to be mad at him for long periods of time.

he'll eat anything you cook. you could be the worst cook in the world and burn your dish to a crisp, and he'd still eat it up like it's nobody's business. he doesn't even notice if it's well cooked or not, he sees anything you create as a masterpiece.

but this also means he's like a guard dog! even though he is quite small and his face isn't very intimidating, he tries! he goes to the gym frequently so he can be stronger for you. he wants to be able to defend you if anything goes wrong.

he is very patient. if you have any work or assignments you need to get done, he'll sit and wait however long you need him to. he'll even bring you beverages and snacks so you can keep working without getting up.

overall, he has some similar traits to a puppy, but he's still the same optimistic (and obsessive) bayani.

if victor was a cat hybrid...

LMFAOOO good luck getting away from him.

bros a silent killer. he watches from afar. if you happen to feel his eyes staring at the back of your head, and you look to see if your feeling is correct, he'll snap his head the other direction so you don't suspect a thing.

he follows you around, but unlike bayani, he wouldn't stop if you asked him to. and he isn't in your personal space, he is much farther away so it's harder to tell when he's tailing after you.

and like a cat, he proudly brings you dead things and is convinced that you would like it. usually he kills anyone that seems to be too close to you, and shows it off like a trophy of his affection and strength.

victor would kill someone and be like: "this week's new corpse looks awesome. they'll totally love this, i gotta show them!" (you did not, in fact, love seeing the rotting corpse of your friend on your doorstep.)

he guards your house as if he's a soldier at war. if he sees anyone break in, or if it's an insect that happened to fly in through your vents, he'll eliminate the threat before you even notice it.

he's also quite moody. sometimes he's affectionate and kind to you, then the next minute he'll act like a brat and expect you to cook and clean for him.

and if you called him out on his behavior, he'll act all pouty and mutter: "i don't do that.." then he'd get up and silently do some chores around the house as an apology. if you brought up his acts of service, he'll get flustered and say you were "too lazy to do it yourself" or something along those lines.

overall, he's quiet, moody, and does things his own way. unlike bayani, victor doesn't do anything you ask him to do, but he still shows his affection for you in his own subtle ways.

[fixyourwritinghabits]

How to Tell If That Post of Advice Is AI Bullshit

Right, I wasn't going to write more on this, but every time I block an obvious AI-driven blog, five more clutter up the tags. So this is my current (April 2024) advice on how to spot AI posts passing themselves off as useful writing advice.

No Personality - Look up a long-running writing blog, you'll notice most people try to make their posts engaging and coming from a personal perspective. We do this because we're writers and, well, we want to convey a sense of ourselves to our readers. A lot of AI posts are straight-forward - no sense of an actual person writing them, no variation in tone or text.

No Examples - No attempts to show how pieces of advice would work in a story, or cite a work where you could see it in action. An AI post might tell you to describe a person by highlighting two or three features, and that's great, but it's hard to figure out how that works without an example.

Short, Unhelpful Definitions - A lot of what I've seen amount to two or three-sentence listicles. 'When you want to write foreshadowing, include a hint of what you want foreshadowed in an earlier chapter.' Cool beans, could've figured that out myself.

SEO/AI Prompt Language Included - I've seen way too many posts start with "this post is about..." or "now we will discuss..." or "in this post we will..." in every single blog. This language is meant to catch a search engine or is ChatGPT reframing the prompt question. It's not a natural way of writing a post for the average tumblr user.

Oddly Clinical Language - Right, I'm calling out that post that tried to give advice on writing gay characters that called us "homosexuals" the entire time. That's a generative machine trying to stay within certain parameters, not an actual person who knows that's not a word you'd use unless you were trying to be insulting or dunking on your own gay ass in the funniest way possible.

Too Perfect - Most generative AI does not make mistakes (this is how many a student gets caught trying to use it to cheat). You can find ways to make it sound more natural and have it make mistakes, but that takes time and effort, and neither of those are really a factor in these posts. They also tend to have really polished graphics and use the same format every time.

Maximized Tags (That Are Pointless) - Anyone who uses more than 10 one-word tags is a cop. Okay, fine, I'm joking, but there's a minimal amount of tags that are actually useful when promoting a post. More tags are not going to get a post noticed by the algorithm, there is no algorithm. Not everyone has to use their tags to make snarky comments, but if your tags look like a spambot, I'm gonna assume you're a spambot.

No Reblogs From The Rest of Writblr - I'm always finding new Writblr folks who have been around for awhile, but every real person I've seen reblogs posts from other people. We've all got other stuff to do, I'm writing this blog to help others and so are they, the whole point of tumblr is to pass along something you think is great.

While you'll probably see some variation in the future - as people get wise to obviously generated text, they'll try to make it look less generated - but overall, there's still going to be tells to when something is fake.

I don't have any real advice for what to do about this (other than block those blogs, which is what I do). Like most AI bullshit, I suspect most of these blogs are just another grift, attempting to build large follower counts to leverage or sell something to in the future. They may progress past these tattletale features, but I'm still going to block them when I see them. I don't see any value in writing advice compiled from the work of better writers who put the effort in when I can just go find those writers myself.

[ardensregias]

somnophilia (with or without consent you choose) with aventurine or sunday...

alright 👍🏻 i'm going with aventurine for this one, since his banner is tmrw yippee :3 may all avennie wanters become avennie havers ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

nsfw, consensual somnophilia, afab!reader, reader wears nightgown, fingering, spooning fucking (i have no idea what it's called (u_u)), established relationship, petnames used: darling, baby, sweetheart, little bunny.

"...my love?"

rubbing his tired eyes to prevent them from closing, aventurine enters your shared house together—only to find you asleep on the couch, filling the otherwise quiet living room with the soft rumble of your snores.

his lips slowly curl up to form a faint smile, little hearts dancing across his beautiful pupils as he steps closer to you, getting a good look at the way the silk gown highlights your curves—all the stress he accumulated from working instantly disappears into thin air the moment he came home to this, like something served only for him in a silver platter.

"you'll catch a cold..." he sighs, stepping closer to take you back inside your shared bedroom—while his eyes gawk at your body, glancing at your chest and legs, before he looks away and try not to act on his desire; you have said that it is fine for him to relief his stress by using you, even in an unconscious state—still, he'd rather not disturb your beauty sleep. slowly, he places you down on to the mattress and kissed your forehead, wishing you a good night's sleep before he stood up, attempting to leave and change his clothes first.

that is, until you decided to roll over, causing your dress to hikes up your thighs, revealing the skimpy and lacy panties underneath—aeons, how could you possibly be any more alluring? he wouldn't be able to hold back himself if this persists.

aventurine gently pushes the silky fabric further up, finally caving in, "'m sorry..." he murmurs, his gloved fingers slowly making their way inside your puffy folds, stimulating the sensitive nerves and getting surprised when he hears the squelching noises, already so loud when he barely does anything—he's starting to suspect that you may have been thinking of him a lot... probably not in an innocent way too (neither did he).

"are you dreaming of me, baby?" his lips curl up to form a small smirk, pumping his digits in and out of you faster, drawing out that little whines of yours that he loves so much, taking them as a sign to continue. he knew very well how skilled his fingers are, after all.

and continue, he did—laying down right behind you, slotting his erection between your thighs as the blunt head slowly slides into your tight little pussy, sucking him in so nicely as if this is the last time you can feel it. you're still so responsive, he thinks, groaning whenever you unconsciously push your ass against him, meeting his thrust while also arching your back.

the blond man tries to be as quiet as possible, burying his face into your nape and trailing kisses down your back with his arms settled on your hips to help him reach deeper and deeper, until his tip finally touches that one gummy spot—one that always makes you moan louder and beg him for more.

"fuck—i'm gonna cum, darling... ah—you're always so good for me..." he stammers, hips stuttering as the slapping noises intensifies, bouncing off the walls along with your soft mewls and his ragged breath.

it doesn't take long before the knot in your stomach snaps, your walls pulsating around his dick before he soon follows, stuffing you full with hot and sticky ropes of cum—so full that some of it form a ring around the base when he attempts to pull out. it surprises him to see just how pent-up he's been, but a sudden whimper from you brought snap him back to reality.

"'venturine... more, please..." for a moment, he was stunned—are you awake? or are you simply dreaming of doing this with him? the thought of being in your mind 24/7 easily flusters him, making his still-erect cock twitch inside you.

well, as a good boyfriend, what else can he do except to fulfill his little bunny's wishes?

his thumb finds its way back to your swollen nub, rubbing patterns across the sensitive area before he shoves his shaft back in, "as you wish, sweetheart,"

[kxsagi]

idk if my last ask sent my bad… reader who is working like 3 jobs and juggling school because they’re on the verge of homelessness… cancelling dates and everything. The boys start suspecting that maybe reader is cheating and follow the reader to one of their night shifts at like a bar or something and they confront reader! Eventually reader confess they’re gonna end up on the streets if they can’t manage this and yeah! Fluffy ending please with Itoshi Brothers, Isagi and Shidou :3 maybe reader even gets fired from one of their jobs during too making them pick up more shifts?! whatever you wish ^^

“𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫”

a/n: hi hi! i was a little confused writing this because all four of these boys are pro-soccer players that make millions and i think they would most definitely share that money with you, but i'm assuming reader is humble and didn't want to ask them for any financial help? forgive me if i'm getting the wrong idea, i hope that what i wrote is accurate to what you wanted!

ft. isagi yoichi, itoshi rin, itoshi sae, shidou ryusei

𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐢 𝐲𝐨𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐢

isagi can tell something’s off. you're distant, exhausted, and he starts noticing the small signs that you're struggling. one night, he decides to follow you to the bar where you're working. when he sees you hustling behind the counter, trying to make ends meet, something shifts in him. instead of confronting you directly, he waits until after your shift to quietly pull you into an empty corner of the bar. "you don’t have to do this on your own," he says, his voice unusually soft. when you finally break down and tell him the truth, isagi stays calm, but there's a new resolve in his eyes. "i’ll take care of you," he promises, surprising you with a level of determination you didn't expect. from that day, he starts managing your finances for you and ensures that you never have to take on the burden alone.

𝐢𝐭𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢 𝐫𝐢𝐧

rin notices your growing distance and the fact that you’re constantly canceling plans. he’s deeply worried but doesn’t want to intrude too much. however, after a while, his concern turns into suspicion, and he decides to follow you one night to the bar. when he sees you working until you’re nearly collapsing from exhaustion, his protective instincts go into overdrive. as soon as you clock out, he’s there, pulling you aside. “what’s going on? you’ve been pushing yourself too hard.” you confess everything: the fear of losing your home, the stress of juggling everything. rin’s face hardens, and he wraps you in a tight embrace. "you don’t have to do this alone," he whispers. from then on, he takes charge of making sure you’re safe and taken care of. he hires someone to help you with your bills and insists that you move in with him, saying, "i won’t let you face this alone, not for a second."

𝐢𝐭𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢 𝐬𝐚𝐞

sae doesn’t like drama, but when he notices how you've been canceling plans and seeming more distant, it starts to get under his skin. one night, he decides to follow you to the bar. when he sees how hard you're working, running on fumes, it hits him – this isn’t about him at all. after your shift, he approaches you with a smirk, trying to hide the worry he’s feeling. "so, you’re working three jobs now? and you didn’t think to mention that?" you sigh and confess everything, the struggle you’re facing, and the fear of homelessness. sae doesn’t show much emotion, but his usual aloofness fades just a little. "i’m not going to let you drown in this," he says bluntly. from then on, he makes sure you're always taken care of, handling anything you can't, whether it’s paying for bills or helping you find a safer place to live. you might not get a lot of words, but his actions speak volumes.

𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐝𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐲𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐢

shidou might be a flirt, but when he starts noticing you canceling dates and acting distant, his playful demeanor shifts. he doesn't like being kept in the dark, and his pride starts to hurt. thinking you're seeing someone else, he follows you to your job. when he sees you running around at the bar, barely holding it together, his flirtatious nature completely disappears. after your shift, he approaches you with a smirk, but it's softer than usual. "so, no one told me you were playing superwoman behind my back?" you break down, confessing how you're barely keeping it together and might end up homeless if things don’t change. shidou’s eyes narrow with determination. "no one hurts what's mine." from that point on, he’s fiercely protective, helping you with your rent, buying you everything you need, and making sure you don’t have to carry the weight of the world alone. his love might come with a bit of arrogance, but it's unconditional. 

© 𝐤𝐱𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐢

[knixscythee]

Izuku

(this is just something to put out for fun but I take heavy inspiration from Glitched they're freaking amazing! I hope they are doing well ❤️‍🩹🥦)

It was another day of sitting at home without a care in the world. Waiting for your husband to come home, this was the one day where you weren't working or out doing chores. The giant house that you and your pro hero husband inhabited was so intimidatingly big, that seeing the house so quiet and empty kinda scared you but in a good way. Like a really secured way.

It wasn't all that lonely I suppose with your husband texting you every once and in a while with memes or compliments or how much he misses you. He's gotten the hang of One for All and is the number 1 hero. All this sounds pretty good for you guys but it's not...

The stronger your hunk of a husband gets, the longer he'll be working and that means less time for you too. This was probably the 3rd day he'd been vacant from the house this week so you were tired of it. I mean who wouldn't be?

I'm just gonna have to make him forget work when he comes back. you thought. Sure it was a lot easier said than done but you are Y/-fuckin-N! Ain't nobody or nothing gonna stop you from getting what you want✨

*Bzzz* Your phone buzzes and you find out it's your husband.

🥦My hero🥦: Hey baby I got some good news! 😁

I'll be home either tonight or next morning! I can't wait to see my precious little Bunny💚

Your heart swelled as you read the text you eagerly texted him back showing your excitement before going back to brainstorming. Shit.... Now you're on a time limit. With little time you began thinking about a dinner; one with a huge table full of different foods and of course dessert but will that be enough for your busy husband to stay home?

Annoyed and stressed, you just focus on that one thing, preparing food. You walked into the kitchen and searched the full fridge for things to cook. thankfully you had the ingredients to try some viral recipe you saw on Pinterest.

After cooking and laying everything out on the table you decided to change into something more anticipating you changed into some tiny pajamas and black lingerie under it. Surely it would do something to him to see those thin, black and green panties.

"Bun! I'm home!" Your heart froze up before running to the front door and hugging and kissing the breath out of Izuku.

"baby! Hiii" "Hey bun... You look so....- He takes in the way that the shirt you were wearing hugs your curves. The way that it just barely shows the outline of your hardening nipples. —Good..."

"I made you a little sumthin-" You help him put his stuff down and drag him towards the kitchen. This food is gonna be so fucking good that he's gonna eat this and then eat me- wait.

As Izuku takes a seat and looks in awe at all the food on the table. After working 22 hour shifts for 3 days straight you get kinda hungry. He waited for you to be seated as you walked to the table with his plate of healthy servings.

"thank you so much, Bunny. I love you."

You smile and join him at the table, in your rightful chair or throne rather; Izuku's lap.

He begins to chow down on all of his food rather quickly, while spouting his compliments about you and the food. "Wow this is so good, Bun" and "You look so pretty today" and "Did you get all dolled up for me?"

At the end of the meal you carefully bring him upstairs and take off his hero gear. Making sure to be slow and to add a sway to your movements. At this point Izuku's eyes were lidded and he still had that same smile of adoration but it seemed almost suspecting.

You pushed him back on the bed and slowly took off the pajamas. (Deku merch obviously) Under it you had your dark green and black lingerie.

"wow.. you were ready for me, weren't you bun?"

He cups your cheek and pulls you onto his lap. You feel his warm, calloused hand touch your face as a familiar sensation of Izuku's bulge rubbing against your sweet spot.

You lean in for a kiss and start playing with the zipper on his hero suit pants. As you do he slips a hand on your waist and deepens the kiss while helping you loosen his pants and takes off his suit.

"lemme help you with that bun..."

✩.･*:｡≻─────────── ⋆♡⋆ ───────────.•*:｡✩

"F-fuck! Wait! Izu...." Of course after working for so long and so hard your husband is gonna be a little pent up. Not being able to come home to see his pretty, loyal wife. The only way to solve that? A fucking mating press. Nothing can compare to the satisfaction of a good fucking. Especially passionate, rough and deep sex.

I mean if you aren't screaming his name at the end is it even considered a good fucking? Clearly he isn't putting in enough effort if you give him a reaction that's anything less than a moan of his name, unintelligible mumbles, or praises. So he'll go for a couple hours. Maybe he'll be satisfied after a few positions, some breeding, and marking. Just to make sure you know you're his.

And right after he would take a shower with you cuddle with you and make sure you were at 100 percent and then only then would he go to sleep with you in his arms. An unbreakable grasp.

Then he'll do the same thing next week.

⏤͟͟͞͞☆𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐱.

[babyhatesreality]

The Sincerest Form

Pairing: Daddy!Stucky x little!F!reader

A/N- for @pahtoosh who said they loved Grumpy Bucky....<3

Warnings: DDLG (SSC), f! reader, reader is named but name scarcely used, pet names, baby eats oatmeal (a total warning- oatmeal is YUCK), baby being a lovable menace without realizing it, grumpy daddy, scolding, papa thinks it's all hysterical, and guess what- fluff.

YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN MEDIA CONSUMPTION. THIS STORY IS SFW- THE REST OF MY BLOG IS NOT NECESSARILY SO. MINORS DNI. I DO NOT CONSENT FOR MY WORK TO BE STOLEN, COPIED, OR TRANSLATED ONTO ANY OTHER SITE BUT MY OWN. Likes, comments and reblogs are deeply appreciated.

It had come about in the funniest way. To Steve, anyways.

One day at the breakfast table, Bucky's phone buzzed in his pocket. He generally tried to stay off his phone during meal times, but his phone went off about 5 times in 3 seconds, so he figured it was important. He pulled it out while Steve was trying to coax you to take another bite of your oatmeal.

"Come on princess, it's good for you," Steve said patiently. You and your wrinkled nose definitely thought differently. He chuckled and picked the spoon up from the bowl where you'd left it. He scooped a bit on, making sure to get a piece of peach with it. "This one has peaches on it, you like peaches," he cajoled. "Here comes the airplane!" He waved the spoon around, making cool airplane noises, and watched as your pouting little face smoothed out. You did love a good airplane. You finally relented and let him zoom the spoon into your mouth. While you swallowed, Steve scooped up another bite, this time with a blueberry on it. Just then, Bucky huffed as he looked at his phone.

"Everything okay?" Steve asked his beloved.

Bucky rolled his eyes, his brow screwing up in frustration, and let out a loud sigh. "Sam's driving me nuts. Again."

"What is it this time?" Steve asked as he turned his attention back to you and began making airplane noises again. It wasn't as hard getting you to eat this time- you were staring at Bucky and so were a bit distracted.

"Just more stupid stuff. He can't say anything simply- it has to be in ten different messages in the span of five seconds," Bucky said grumpily. "Why can't he just say 'gym in an hour'? Why does he have to send a thousand messages and stupid little pictures when four words would do?!" Steve smothered a smile. He knew Bucky hated the annoyance of his phone going off constantly, which is why Steve suspected Sam did it. "God, he's annoying."

Steve smiled consolingly at his husband, but didn't say anything. It would just make Bucky grumpier, and as adorable as Grumpy Bucky was, he didn't want to put him in a bad mood for the rest of the day. He focused back on you, and couldn't help but chuckle at the sight of your own wrinkled up and grumpy face, having just swallowed another bite of oatmeal.

"You look like Daddy when you make that face," Papa whispered loudly to you so Bucky could hear. At hearing those words, you turned curiously to see what Bucky looked like. Bucky was studiously ignoring Steve's playful jab and still glaring at his phone. Steve watched as you carefully studied Bucky's frown. You started trying to twist your face into the same expression Bucky was wearing. Steve had to bite the inside of his cheek at the exaggerated pout that was now gracing your cute little face.

"I'm gonna thrown my phone in the Hudson," Bucky grumbled, unaware of what was brewing next to him.

"I'm gonna throw my oatmeal in the Hudson," you instantly parroted, trying to copy his gruff and grumpy tone. That made Steve snort and caused Bucky to finally look up. When he got a look at the sour expression on your face, he huffed again, but gave a begrudged smile.

"Tell you what, Trouble, I'll drop my phone in your oatmeal, and that will take care of both of our problems. What do you say?" Daddy asked you, the twinkle returning to his eye at the end of his declaration.

"OKAY!" you agreed happily, stretching your hands out for his phone.

"No you don't," Papa said immediately, intercepting your little mitts. If he didn't, he had no doubt as to exactly what would have happened next. "Come on, let's finish your breakfast." You gave a loud sigh like Bucky had only moments ago, but let Steve guide the oatmeal laden spoon back into your mouth while trying to hold in his laughter.

This was only the beginning.

For the next week, whenever something annoyed or frustrated Bucky and you were around, you immediately adopted his scowl and tone, usually parroting what he said too. You even took to stomping around dramatically to give it extra emphasis. Steve thought it was absolutely hysterical. It usually snapped Bucky out of his grumpy mood in moments, seeing you playacting at being him and how incredibly cute you were.

Until it backfired.

Steve was away on a mission with Tony and Thor, and Bucky had to head to the offices with you in tow. That was enough to already make him grumpy, but Maria Hill was waiting for him the moment he stepped off the elevator.

"Sergeant Barnes," she said in that no-nonsense tone of hers. "Director Fury needs to see you immediately."

Bucky's blood turned to ice. "Steve...is he...." he choked out, automatically assuming the worst.

"Captain Rogers is fine," Maria said instantly, chagrined, especially when she caught sight of your little, wide eyes. "Fury just needs to talk to you about Operation Guillotine- he has an important update. Cap's mission is going well. Everything's fine." She cleared her throat, still feeling awkward. "Sorry," she added, low.

Bucky took a deep breath to calm his suddenly furious nerves, for your sake. "Fine," he grumbled, brushing past Hill while keeping a tight hold on your hand, his face crumpled into what looked to be a permanent frown. He knew that Maria hadn't meant to freak him- or you- out, but it still made him grumpy as hell.

"Fine," you parroted in the same grumpy voice as you began stomping down the hall alongside your daddy. Maria was taken aback at your tone- you were usually so happy-go-lucky. She was even more confused when you turned around and waved goodbye cheerfully to her, then resumed your stomping and pouting.

Bucky was still too lost in his own annoyance to realize that you were doing it again- mimicking his grumpiness as he huffed his way towards Fury's office. He didn't notice all the curious and confused looks as the two of you made your way down the hall, nor all the baffled agents wondering what the hell was going on with the two of you.

Bucky walked into Fury's office without so much as a knock. "Hill said you needed to see me?" he asked bluntly, still annoyed.

Fury looked up from his work. "Barnes. Yes, I-" he suddenly stopped as he got a good look at the twin scowls on your faces. "Everything...alright?" he asked a bit gruffly.

"Fine. What did you need?"

"We fine," you chirped too, your face completely at odds with your statement. "We grumpy."

THAT got Bucky's attention. He looked down at you, perplexed, then he realized that you were imitating him. Again. You turned your face towards him, nodded solemnly in solidarity, before turning your scowl back on the director. Bucky cleared his throat and took a deep breath before returning his gaze to the director.

"Ohhhhkay," Fury said, not sure how to take this. He decided to just ignore it. "Seems there was something more to the coded message we intercepted. Something we missed. Intel believes it has the location of the new lab. I'd like you to take a look at it again."

Bucky groaned out loud. "Come on, Natasha and I have already been over that thing a dozen times," he said. "I can't make information appear, Fury. I'm telling you, it's not there."

"It's not there, Fury!" you barked, frowning as hard as you could.

Bucky tugged your hand suddenly. "Trouble," he said in that warning tone. "Director Fury and I are talking." He cocked one eyebrow at you.

"I know. I'm helping."

"Well, right now, I need you to hush. Got it?"

Bucky was not happy at your deepening scowl, but he had bigger fish to fry at the moment. He turned his attention back to the baffled (and slightly amused) director. "What's up intel's ass that they think we missed something that big?"

"Yeah, what's up intel's-" your words were suddenly cut off by Bucky's large hand covering your mouth. You tried to squirm away but he wasn't letting you move an inch.

"I said HUSH," Bucky said, giving you The Eye. Once you finally stopped squirming, he lowered his hand, the scowl on his face even more prominent. So of course you had to follow suit and match his look, your face scrunched so tightly your eyes were nearly invisible.

Fury disguised his smile under the pretense of scratching his nose, before clearing his throat and continuing. "There were two more messages intercepted last night that have similar patterns to the original. And we've definitely got movement amongst their supply chain. I want you and Romanoff to take another look at it to see if you can connect the dots. This takes priority today, understood?"

"Understood," Bucky growled back, turning on his heel to leave.

"Bye Mr. Nick!" you called out cheerfully as Bucky turned. Bucky rolled his eyes but didn't say anything as you waved to the director.

"Bye, little one," Fury said, his expression softening ever so slightly. "I hope your day gets less...grumpy."

"Not likely!" you chirped happily, before resuming your Daddy Grumpy Face. Bucky stifled his embarrassed groan, hauling you into his arms instead and thundering down the hallway. People scurried to get out of his way, but he barely noticed.

"Katie, I told you to hush," Bucky scolded you quietly as he made his way towards his and Steve's office.

"Mr. Nick was talking to me, Daddy! I not RUDE."

"Yeah, well, when I tell you to hush, I mean hush."

"You TOO grumpy today, Daddy," you said, shaking your head. Just then- luckily for you- Natasha came around the corner.

"Well hey you two," she said lightly, sensing the tension and obviously seeing the twin scowls on your faces. "Bad morning?"

"We grumpy, Aunt Nat," you answered promptly. "WAY too grumpy."

"Excuse us, we'll be right back," Bucky growled, red faced. He pretended he couldn't hear Natasha snickering as he lumbered past her and stomped into his office, kicking the door shut.

Bucky plopped you down onto the desk. He put his hands on either side of you and leaned down into your face. You shrank down a bit. It finally dawned on you that you MIGHT be in a bit of trouble. "Kaitlyn," Daddy said in that low tone that meant business. Uh-oh. You could feel the Time Out coming. "What did I JUST say about hushing your mouth?"

"Um...."

"I told you to hush. Three times. And you didn't. And then you told Aunt Natasha that we were grumpy."

"We ARE."

Bucky sighed, trying to rein it in. "Baby, you don't say things like that around the office. You know better. And just because I'm in a bad mood doesn't mean that you have to be in one, okay?"

"But if YOU grumpy, then I grumpy Daddy!" you exclaimed, your eyes wide. You put your hands on either side of his face. "You don't gotta be grumpy alone!" You leaned forward and kissed his nose, surprising the hell out of him. "I no want you to be grumpy, so I be grumpy WITH you, okay?"

All of Bucky's annoyance and frustration instantly melted away at your loving words and gesture. "You've..been doing this so I won't be grumpy alone?" he asked, his wide blue eyes taking in every inch of your sweet face.

You nodded happily. "Yeah!"

Bucky felt something rise up in him...what was it? It was laughter. He ducked his head and burst out laughing, amazed and humbled by your innocent and pure love. He gathered you into his arms, this time cuddling you into his chest. Your soft giggle and snuggles back made his heart nearly burst.

"Well, thank you for not making me be grumpy alone," he whispered into your ear before blowing a raspberry on his cheek. "You still need to listen when I tell you to do something, though. Got it?"

"Got it. I sowwy, Daddy."

"I know you are, Trouble. But you know what makes me the most un-grumpy?"

"What?"

"When my baby's happy."

"OH! Okay!" you said, before giving him a huge hug around the neck. "Can I draw you a picture of us being un-grumpy?"

"Sure can."

"Will you hang it on the wall?"

"Already got the tape ready in my top drawer." "YAY!"

Bucky snuggled you once more before putting you down. You instantly dove into the small toy box that lived in their work office, knowing you had crayons in there somewhere, and got to work. Bucky chuckled again to himself, wondering how in the world he could ever have a grumpy day when he had sunshine itself personified in his love for you.

Although he did have another moment of grumpiness when Natasha sent Steve the camera footage of the interaction with Fury and Steve laughed himself sick.

[vettelsvee]

Hear me out- (for the seb teacher fic you mentioned) student favorite science dork seb x student favorite fun history teacher reader. Their shared students ship the hell out of them and it's revealed that they've been together for like 2 years. 🩷🩷✨️✨️

THE SECRETS OF US | Sebastian Vettel

High School Science Teacher!Sebastian Vettel x High School History Teacher!Reader ↳ Teacher AU ⋆ Part of CLASSROOM GOSSIPS

SUMMARY: Seb, the dorky cool Science teacher and you, the also cool History teacher, are truly shipped by your shared students. You're way too obvious, but they can see all the signs to the point you end up having to tell them that you've been secretly dating each other for 5 years ↳ REQUESTED: Yes! Hope you like it anon! 💖

WORD COUNT: 2969

WARNING: Curse words, sexual intimate jokes between Seb and you (established relationship guys!), mentions of oral sex (female receiving) and pregnancy

TAGLIST: @koalapastries @blushmimi @herdetectivetheorist

VEE'S NOTES: Haven't written Teacher!Seb in a while and honestly, I missed it a lot! Writing Teacher!Seb fics has become my favourite thing in the world and I'm already planning a whole Teacher!Seb series. Also, I'm gonna start focusing on writing AUs since I absolutely love them, so feel free to give me your opinions in this! Hope you're doing great (or better than I am), and hope you like this one too! Remember that comments and reblogs are truly appreciated <3 ↳ TALK TO ME! | FORMULA 1 MASTERLIST

© VETTELSVEE (2025). please, do not steal, copy or translate my works. thanks for reading!

While students at Berlin Brandenburg International School constantly worked to get the best grades possible and secure a bright future, there was something they dedicated even more time to: figuring out whether Mr. Vettel and Ms. Y/L/N were secretly dating.

The truth was that you and Seb being together was an open secret. Though it hadn’t been confirmed, conspiracy theories spread from class to class, reaching everyone from the youngest students to those just months away from graduating. Saying that everyone shipped you two was an understatement, especially when there was plenty of evidence suggesting that maybe, just maybe, you were more than just coworkers or even friends.

Seb was the Physics and Chemistry teacher every student wished they had, even those who hated science. While Seb thrived on calculations and a logical mindset, you were the complete opposite, you lived to tell stories from the past and sometimes even the future. Like Seb, your goal was to make your students interested in your subject, even if it was considered… well, quite boring.

The truth was that you were quite different, yet you were always together, finding any moment, any excuse, to exchange even a simple “hello." Even your classrooms were next to each other, despite belonging to entirely different departments.

And that closeness, that understanding between you two, was because you had been dating for nearly three years… and you were even engaged.

The problem? No one, not even the other faculty members, knew… or at least, they didn’t until you started being less careful with your secret, thinking that no one suspected anything, only for the exact opposite to happen.

The first problem? The sweater incident.

It was a day like any other. You and Seb arrived at school together and, as always, went to your respective classes not before sneaking a quick kiss in the teachers' lounge, making sure no one was around.

Your first class of the day was with your senior students, and you knew it would be a tough lesson because you had to teach them about World War II, a topic they often struggled to grasp. You began writing outlines on the board as your students trickled in. You greeted them and continued with your task, trying to ignore their murmurs until their whispers grew loud enough that you had no choice but to turn around.

When you did, they were all staring at you, wide-eyed and slack-jawed, as if they had seen a ghost.

"Is something wrong, guys?" you asked curiously.

No one answered.

Emma, one of the most outspoken students in your class, was the one who finally broke the silence. She raised her hand hesitantly, and when you nodded at her to speak, she did:

"Ms. Y/L/N…" she began, uncertain. "It’s just that… your sweater…"

You frowned and glanced down at your clothing. Yes, it was a navy-blue sweater, one you had worn quite often over the Christmas holidays, and one that had quickly become your favorite ever since…

As soon as it hit you, your eyes darted to the sleeves. The initials “SV” were perfectly embroidered in red.

Panic set in immediately when you realized you were wearing the exact same sweater you had embroidered and gifted Seb for Christmas—the one he had lent you a few days later when you went for a walk together, and that you had since claimed as your own.

“Oh, well…” You let out a nervous laugh. Crossing your arms, you began pacing around the classroom, pretending to check your notes to start the lesson. “It must have been a mistake. It’s probably my dad’s, or my—”

“But Ms. Y/L/N,” another student, Oliver—much more mischievous than Emma and well-versed in getting information out of people—interrupted with a sly grin. “SV just so happens to be Mr. Vettel’s initials, right? You know… Sebastian… Vettel…”

"What?" You let out a sharp but brief squeal, loud enough to make even the distracted students pay attention. "No way, no, no… That’s not what it means."

"Then why was Mr. Vettel wearing it yesterday?" Sophie, another student, added with a teasing smile and an amused glint in her eyes. "Do you two go shopping for clothes together now, or do you just share them?"

“Are you wearing his sweatshirt because you live together?!”

“Are you wearing it because you're pregnant?! Are you pregnant with Mr. Vettel’s baby?!”

The murmurs in the class grew louder. You tried to speak, but couldn't; you made noise with the chalkboard erasers, the markers, the class bell, and even shouted, but nothing could make your students quiet down once and for all.

Finally, you walked up to the still-open classroom door and slammed it shut, startling all the teenagers who would spend the next hour with you, making them go silent immediately.

Even Seb, who was in the classroom across from yours, peeked out to see what was going on. You simply leaned your face against the small glass window in the door and murmured a "Nothing, I’ll tell you later," which he didn’t understand, but responded by blowing you a kiss and winking, making you blush more than you probably already were.

“None of that, guys!” you said once you managed, or at least tried, to regain your composure. “Now, get your stuff out. Let's start the class, we've wasted enough time…”

You turned around and continued writing the outline on the board, but you knew that the small chatter still going on in the class was just the beginning of not only a day but a very hectic week until your students figured out what was really going on between their two favorite teachers.

You sighed, tried to stay calm, and prayed that things wouldn’t escalate.

However, you didn’t realize that this was just the beginning.

A few weeks later, when you had already told Seb about the incident you had in class with his sweatshirt, and he told you that you were forgetful and absent-minded (which was true), he started being even more careful. The kisses you once shared in the teachers’ lounge were now exchanged in the car, well before entering the school, making sure a thousand times that no one was around to see you.

Seb and you, but mostly him, denied any kind of gossip that not only your "adoptive children," as your students referred to you both, were spreading, but you also had to do it with your colleagues until, well… they told you to stop hiding that you were together because it was obvious, but they’d help you keep the secret with the rest of the students.

Although, well, the main problem in keeping it a secret was you and your slip-ups.

The next problem happened during a break.

Normally, each teacher had a routine depending on whether they had to supervise the break or not. That day, it was your turn to be in the staff room, and Seb was on duty, so when you walked in and saw his coffee cup, you didn’t hesitate to take it and take a sip, leaving a small kiss mark on it, making your lipstick perfectly visible.

What surprised you was that, when you looked in one corner of the room, two of the best final-year students in Sebastian’s Chemistry class were there, with their notebooks open, filled with exercises… and with Seb himself.

“Hey, guys…” you said shyly, playing with your hair.

The students said nothing, and neither did Seb.

Instead, your fiancé simply looked at you, gave you a small smile, and made his students focus back on the exercises they were working on, while he couldn’t stop shaking his head and quietly laughing.

“Did you see that, Jason?” you heard Seb's student ask his classmate while you were preparing photocopies and Seb had gone to the bathroom.

“She didn’t even flinch!” said the boy. “And Mr. Vettel... Oh my God, Anna, he just looked at her and smiled like an idiot.”

“And she blushed like crazy! And let me tell you, it’s pretty strange for someone to drink from your coffee, especially when you’re just coworkers. And on top of that, Ms. Y/L/N left a kiss on his coffee cup, the same one he always uses and loves! She probably gave it to him and…”

“Wait, wait…” Anna interrupted. “What are you saying? Are you implying that they’re…”

“At least they live together. I’m convinced, Anna.”

You decided to stop listening and almost ran out of the staff room, heading toward your class, when you bumped into Seb.

You tried to ignore him, but much to your dismay, he gently grabbed your arm and forced you to stop.

“Y/N…”

His blue eyes were fixed on you. He hadn’t said anything more than your name, but you knew exactly what he was referring to.

“Yeah, okay, got it…” you replied, succumbing to the look he was giving you, which was far from friendly. “We’re just coworkers, Mr. Vettel,” you emphasized the last part.

“You know you don’t need to say that here, Y/N. For you I’m Sebastian, your coworker,” he replied with a playful tone. Then, he leaned close to your ear, making sure once again that no one was watching, and spoke. “Although I wouldn’t mind if you called me Mr. Vettel in bed while I’m eating you out…”

“Okay, okay, enough, stoooooop it!” you yelled, flustered, as you pulled away from him and continued on your way. Seb, however, couldn’t stop watching you move from side to side, with an angry stride, holding onto the folder where you always carried a million different photocopies that made it impossible for you to find the one you wanted.

Weeks passed, and so did the rumors. Now that the other teachers at the school knew not only that you were a couple, but also engaged, they helped you quite a bit to silence the gossip surrounding you both.

The only thing you could hear in the hallways, classrooms, and even at parent meetings was how much your students shipped you two (with ship names included). Months had passed since they caught you wearing Seb’s sweatshirt in class, and although you’d had a few more slip-ups (like calling Seb “Sebu” in the middle of class, something he hated but loved hearing from you, or talking about your weekend plans when you thought your students weren’t listening), the talk about you two and the secret you seemed to share never stopped.

The climax of it all, much to your dismay, happened during one of the end-of-year field trips.

It happened at a museum in Berlin, specifically in the Medieval section. You were so focused on explaining the pieces your students were looking at, and relating them to the material you had covered in class, that you moved around so much, glancing at Seb every now and then, who had decided to accompany you “so you wouldn’t be alone,” that you didn’t notice the irregular shape of the floor right behind you.

It was then that you took a step back and twisted your ankle, falling to the ground suddenly while your explanation was interrupted by a scream that alarmed both your students and your fiancé.

“Y/N!” Seb shouted as soon as he saw you, running toward where you were.

Your students held their breath, not so much because of the accident, but because of the scene they were witnessing right in front of them.

Seb knelt down in front of you, going straight for your right ankle, which was clearly more swollen than normal.

“Are you okay, love?”

The word love was a whisper, but not soft enough one for your students not to hear.

Obviously, they began to make small, muffled exclamations, jump up, and tell each other they knew it, that it was obvious there was something more between you than just professionalism and maybe a friendship.

“I think I just twisted it,” you responded to Seb, grimacing in pain while trying to get up. “It’s… fine, I guess.”

“Y/N, you really need to start being more careful, this happens to you all the time…” Seb replied, sighing, running his hand through his hair in frustration.

“You say that as if I trip every day.”

“You do, babe,” he replied, shooting you a playful but stern look, signaling for the kids to guide you. They didn’t say anything. Instead, they just stood there, stunned. “Last month, you fell in class while trying to erase the board. Last week, at home, you almost broke your wrist picking up a book I had hidden to gift you. And now, look, a little more and—”

“Okay, okay, I get it,” you replied, giving up. “I’m clumsy, but you still love me, I guess.”

“Stop talking nonsense, Y/N. You know I love you more than you can imagine, no matter what you’re like.”

Seb shook his head at what you just said and did something that sent your students into an internal meltdown.

He took your hand, and you didn’t hesitate for a second to intertwine your fingers with his, just as your fiancé had no problem giving your hand a warm kiss.

Not to mention that when you almost fell again, Seb didn’t hesitate to hold you by the waist, and he had no qualms about picking you up in his arms to take you to the small emergency room in the museum while telling those chaotic teenagers, fangirling over you both, to wait outside to see what happened to you.

By the time you both returned to the school, the rumors had reached their peak, and there was nothing you could do to avoid your students confronting you, especially when Anna, Jason, and a few others who were closer to you both cornered you after class when you were heading to the parking lot to grab your car and go home, hand in hand.

You barely had time to react when they stood in front of you, their faces revealing shy smiles while they fiddled with the straps of their backpacks and kept looking at you both.

Seb and you exchanged a glance, and you both knew there was no turning back, no excuses left.

“Guys, whatever you want to ask us, go ahead,” you said calmly, crossing your arms and leaning against your fiancé.

“Mr. Vettel, Ms. Y/L/N, we have something to ask you,” Jason began.

Seb sighed and looked at you. This was exactly what you both had thought.

“Let me guess, now we’re like your… best friends, and you’ve decided to play truth or dare with us or something like that?” your fiancé said in a teasing tone.

“Exactly, Mr. Vettel!” answered Camila, one of the girls.

“The thing is… are you two dating?”

“Excuse me, what did you just say, Jenson?” you asked, trying not to give anything away, just wanting to see where this conversation was going.

“Oh my God, Ms. Y/L/N, don’t ignore us!” Anna replied. “It’s so obvious you’re wearing Mr. Vettel’s oversized sweatshirt…”

“And you drink from his coffee mug and leave him really cute kisses,” Jason continued. “Oh, and you also call Mr. Vettel Sebu. Who calls their coworker Sebu? What the fuck is even a Sebu?”

“And you also flirt in the hallways! Mr. Vettel always leans in to whisper in Ms. Y/L/N’s ear, and she turns super red!” intervened one of the guys.

“Not to mention that at the visit to the museum you held hands and called each other love and all those sweet things parents say to each other!”

You and Seb kept looking from one student to the next, the difficulty in holding back your laughter growing with each passing second.

“With everything they’re saying, it seems like we’re already married,” Seb commented, turning to you with a wide grin.

“Well, we do live together and we’re three months away from getting married, so they’re not far off,” you replied, bursting out laughing.

And that’s when the silence fell.

The students exchanged looks, glancing at each other for a moment before they started shaking each other, shouting "I told you!" while continuing to bombard you with even more intimate questions about your relationship.

“So, is it true?! Are you two really dating?!”

“Actually, we’ve been together for 5 years,” Seb replied proudly.

“And, as you’ve probably heard, we’re getting married in three months,” you intervened. “We’ve been planning the wedding ever since Seb proposed to me almost a year and a half ago…”

“Do you know how long we’ve been shipping you two since you were already canon? And secretly!”

Jason shouted, looking the most shocked by the revelation.

“We demand some sort of compensation after all the lies you’ve told us this whole time,” Anna replied, crossing her arms and making her friends agree with her.

You looked at Seb, and he looked back at you.

He knew exactly what you meant with that look.

“Should we tell them, love?” you asked quietly.

Seb didn’t answer, but a wide smile, even bigger than usual, and a sparkle in his eyes lit up his face.

“Of course. After all, it’s just a matter of time before they find out.”

“What will we find out?!” they all screamed in unison.

Instinctively, you placed your hands on your stomach while Seb wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you close to plant a kiss on your forehead.

“That soon, you’re going to have, as you would say, a little adopted sibling,” Seb replied, squeezing you against him, feeling like the happiest man in the world.

“I’m pregnant, guys, so you better not say any swear words in class because the baby can hear you, okay?”

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