#so I'm trying to get in the habit of giving a tl;dr

[ms-demeanor]

Hello,Do you have any tips for recovering from internet brain rot? It's like my patience has dried up and if there's a huge amount of text (even about topics I'm very interested in) that I have to read, I get annoyed and just don't interact with the material at all.

I have multiple tips!

TL;DR (Because of course I generated a wall of text): Take a break from the internet, create a schedule for getting yourself used to reading longer texts, take breaks while reading, and perhaps reconsider how you interact with The Internet and the world in general.

Here are the basic "to reduce the brain rot just don't interact" tips:

Take a break. Give yourself time off from The Internet (for these purposes The Internet is the social media industrial complex; clickbait news, recommended videos, social media sites, etc. You don't have to totally check out of email or your local news site, just get away from the huge time sucks). I'd say to take at least one day a week where you're online for less than an hour a day, and to maybe work up to doing a week-long break from whatever the main agents of rot are.

Once you've identified the main agents of rot, give yourself a time limit or set up rules for yourself. I don't let myself look at social media in bed, for instance; no staying up late on my phone, no scrolling before I get up and start my day. I don't give myself a strict time limit anymore, but for a while there I was very firm about "you only get to go online 4 hours a day" with myself.

Don't comment (or at least only share the things you really want to share). If you feel the need to argue, or if you feel pressured into sharing something, don't. Step back, maybe even open the post in a new tab or send it to yourself, and come back later. If you've been thinking about it and have decided it IS something you care enough to talk about, share it. If you look at the tab and feel stressed out or still feel reactive, close the tab and walk away.

Go out and interact with the real world in a non-work capacity for a few hours a week; take walks or go shopping or go out and take pictures of insects. Touch grass so that The Internet is not the only thing you're doing with your downtime.

Here are the "work on reading longer texts specifically" tips:

Set a reading goal for yourself. Maybe you want to read one New Yorker article a week, maybe you want to read all the way through news articles, maybe you want to read novels like you used to in high school. Figure out what your actual goal is and articulate that goal to yourself.

Set up a practice schedule and gradually increase the amount of time you're reading. Don't go from short tumblr posts to a novella, go from short tumblr posts to slightly longer news articles, then to slightly longer essays, then to a novella. You can do this in literal paragraphs if you want to - maybe your goal for your first day is to read five paragraphs in a row, and the second day is seven, and the third day is ten, etc, until you are comfortably reading for longer amounts of time without counting paragraphs. (Try this with books from gutenberg.org; read a classic you haven't read a few paragraphs at a time and if you find yourself going over your paragraph count, let yourself run with it. If you finish a book, good for you, find another one and start again.)

Set up a maintenance schedule. If your goal is to read longer news pieces, try to read a longer piece every week and try to read to the end of every news article you open. If your goal is to read novels or longer nonfiction, try to read a book a month (maybe setting aside dedicated time each week to read, maybe Thursday evenings are book time now). If you find yourself falling back into old habits, take a break from The Internet and do some more rigorous practice for a while.

If you find yourself getting frustrated while you are reading you can also take a break! Read until you get frustrated and then *instead of switching to a different page or closing the article* close your eyes or look out the window or away from the screen for thirty seconds (count 'em! count out the time in your head) and then continue reading. You can also take a longer pause and sit and think about why you're getting frustrated. Is it the subject matter? Is it just looking at this text for longer than a couple minutes (if you are experiencing FOMO because you're reading for another few minutes instead of scrolling, the harder tips at the bottom are going to be important to you)? Are you comfortable? Are you reading this text to procrastinate from something and the procrastination is making you nervous? Are you trying to read to the bottom of your dash and reading a long post is taking up more time than you want while scrolling? Are you bored? Genuinely and very seriously: are your eyes straining and does your head hurt (if this is the case when is the last time you had your eyes checked or your glasses prescription updated)?

Here are the much harder "examine yourself and reassess your reactions to things" tips:

Work on re-training your attention span.

Identify something that you enjoy and find deeply engaging, and schedule some dedicated time for that thing. Set a literal timer (it can be a short amount of time at first) and sit down and do the thing without switching to a different website or opening up an app on your phone. This can be re-reading or watching a couple episodes of a show you like or listening to your favorite album while you sit down and draw. What's important is to spend a longer time focusing on doing something you DO like before attempting to spend a longer time focusing on something you DON'T like.

When you're starting on things you DON'T like, start with things you mildly don't like, or that feel tedious but aren't actually unpleasant. One way I do this is by transcribing poetry; I look up poems that I connect to and I transcribe them into a notebook that I have for that purpose. I enjoy having the finished product, but I don't enjoy the process, so it takes some effort to stick with it. Maybe there is a boring book you have been trying to get through, maybe you need to detail your car, maybe you've been trying to take up embroidery - these are good things to make yourself pay attention to (having music or a podcast on can help, but avoid watching videos or opening social apps)

When you're okay at that kind of thing (doing something not actively unpleasant) work on your attention span for things you ACTIVELY don't like. I don't think you should be a masochist about this, but you should work on being okay with doing unpleasant things for a sustained period of time. All of us have to do unpleasant stuff sometimes, and it's better to be able to pay attention to it for an hour at a time than it is to put it off forever.

This leads into the next Big Tip which is:

Work on being less reactive

Find something that you dislike; I'm going to use conservative talk radio as my example.

Expose yourself to the disliked thing for short periods of time (under ten minutes, maybe under five minutes).

Work on moderating your emotions during the time spent exposed to the disliked thing. If it makes you angry, work on intellectualizing the anger without becoming agitated by it. If it makes you sad, work on accepting that sadness without letting it drag down your mood. This isn't precisely about becoming numb to stimuli, but it is about being more in control of how your emotional reactions impact you.

Analyze the disliked thing. Why does it make you angry? Is that on purpose by the creator of the thing? Would it make someone else angry in the same way? How would you explain the anger to a neutral third party?

Consider responding instead of reacting. Let's say you're seeing a lot of very sad and upsetting things online and it's making you sad and upsetting you. You re-share these things because you don't feel like there's anything else you can do or you get angry when you see people sharing incorrect information, perhaps you argue with people about this. Now try looking at the upsetting things through the lens of point number four. This has upset you; how has it upset you? And once you've thought about how it upset you and have articulated that to yourself, find out what you can DO. I cannot make conservative talk radio go off the air, but I can support the groups harmed by conservative talk radio; thus there is no point in me getting upset and angry about conservative talk radio when I could be helping the people they target instead.

And that gets us to the last big tip which is:

Ask yourself if you are spending your time in a way that is enjoyable and edifying.

We all have limited time in our days and limited time in our lives. If you are finding yourself frequently frustrated online, it's a good time to consider whether you want to be spending so much time online.

If you feel like The Internet has become a rat race in which you can't read more than a few paragraphs without getting frustrated, there's a good chance that not only are you spending too much time on The Internet, but you're also spending it on doing things that you don't particularly like.

A realization like yours, Anon, that you are getting frustrated with any longer texts, can actually be really helpful because it provides a good opportunity to look at what you're engaging with and consider the questions:

Is this something I enjoy?

Do I feel good when I do this thing?

And that's a great way to figure out how to get rid of things that are leading to your background frustration. Maybe that looks like paring down the list of blogs you follow, maybe that looks like unsubscribing from some youtubers and podcasts, maybe that looks like uninstalling apps, maybe that looks like blocking a whole bunch of people and terms on your socials.

I don't think that everything we do has to help us grow as a person or expand our consciousness or anything like that, but I do think it's important to prioritize doing things that you like and doing things that you feel good about.

Like, I'm not doing something *wrong* if I spend an afternoon on Youtube watching drama channels every once in a while, but if I come out of a few afternoons of watching youtube drama channels feeling restless and anxious and like I wasted my time - even if I enjoyed myself while I was watching - it's probably a good idea for me to take a break from drama channels and see if there's something I can do instead that will make me feel better.

ALSO, A NOTE:

You are an animal that requires significant enrichment in your enclosure.

Think about tigers. Tigers in captivity are going to be excited to get high-value treats for any reason. They will eat and enjoy the treats. But if a tiger in captivity is only given the treats and never given any other form of activity to engage with, it is not going to be a happy tiger. If you start putting their treats in a pumpkin or a puzzle feeder or giving them toys to play with, that is going to be a much happier tiger.

Please give your brain things to play with that are more than just treats (though it does need some treats!). Make yourself a happy tiger. Your brain need a puzzle feeder, not a treat button.

[atthebell]

how to clip (redneck ash atthebell edition aka not the most efficient necessarily)

my best methods for clipping & posting to tumblr

tl;dr use clipr for downloading clips from twitch, other methods vary by mileage

Clip on Twitch & Download using Clipr

IMO, this is the best method for posting clips. Twitch clips don't always display properly on Firefox, and it also means that if the clip ceases to exist on Twitch for whatever reason, it's still uploaded to Tumblr. You can also guarantee the quality you're downloading in, which is usually 1080p unless the streamer has for some reason lowered their stream quality (happens by accident sometimes).

Downsides: 1) You have to be able to download the clip to your computer, and doesn't work on mobile. Well, it could, but it would be way more difficult and I don't know why you would do that to yourself. 2) If the moment you want to clip is longer than 60 seconds, you have to use another method. Twitch only lets you clip something that long. I bemoan this fact every day.

Screen capture on your computer

The pros of this method are that you aren't limited to 60 seconds, and if you're trying to clip something from a YouTube video, it's easier than trying to download a YouTube clip (have never been able to successfully do this myself) or downloading the entire video and then editing it down to the moment you want to clip.

The cons are that you have to make sure you're not screen capturing sensitive shit from your own computer, and you have to turn off all other audio and make sure your volume levels & video quality are at appropriate levels (aka don't have your volume super low, don't have the video on 480p if possible). If you're clipping off YouTube, you have to deal with having the channel's watermark in the corner, but otherwise it's great for when you want to just clip something from Twitch but it's longer than 60 seconds.

How to do this (on Windows):

Remember to put your computer on DND (Discord as well) and put the video on highest quality and decent volume levels. Press Windows key + G (if that's your configuration) and select "Start Recording" on the capture window. Remember to give time for the scrub bar and shit from YouTube or Twitch (or whatever) to go away, so go back a little bit before where you want the clip to start. Record until you've got what you want, then open it in whatever video editing software pleases you. You can find the recording in Captures on your computer (usually in some folder chain in Users) or by just pressing Windows key + G again, it'll let you open the recording in file location. I use Microsoft Clipchamp to edit because Windows Media Player crashes my computer and I'm not going to pay for nice editing software rn. Anyway, edit out the bits with you moving your mouse around and the video player UI and get it to whatever length you like. Save or redownload to your computer, upload to Tumblr.

Downloading off Twitter

Use twittervideodownloader or twdown. Copy the video address from the video and paste it, then download in whatever quality you'd like. Please attribute said clips, particularly if they went through the trouble of adding subtitles or you're using their translation (or just to let people know where they came from-- i.e. is this from a cc's own IG story, or is it a random fan recording them; the latter means you maybe shouldn't be reposting this video). Translation itself is often a thankless project so it's very appreciated to acknowledge translators. Also if someone else went through the trouble of clipping something, it's just nice to acknowledge them for it. Preferably include a link to the original tweet. This method is best for just needing stuff off Twitter, for IG stories that someone else already screen captured, or if the only clip you can find is on Twitter and the original vod/video is gone for whatever reason.

Extra fun tips:

If you are a frequent clipper, get in the habit of naming your files! If you're keeping them all on your computer, for organization's sake, it will save you SO much time and energy if you just have names on your files. It doesn't have to be anything crazy formal; for example, my format is just "oct 12 cellbit scared by sign tts;" date followed by a very short description.

Similar to the above, it also helps to include some amount of context to clips when you're posting them, particularly if you're not liveblogging. Sometimes people rb clips onto my dash and start freaking out about some kind of lore going on and it's like dude this clip is from two months ago, calm down. Please turn on timestamps also for the love of fuck.

You can download videos straight off Tumblr! If someone else already posted a clip you like and want to have on your computer, you can download it off the dash or off their blog and just have it, no extension or screen capture or website needed. One of the very cool things about this website!

Related, if you really want to find a clip that you know was already posted to Tumblr by someone else, use people's archives. They're also one of the actually functional parts of this website. You can filter by post type, month, and tags, which can usually get you closer to finding what you're looking for than searching will.

RoyalArchivist tends to post and reblog a lot of clips, so they're a good resource alongside myself, pix pixiecaps, and jay cellgatinbo, all of whom clip like maniacs. I also just reblog a lot of things and have a pretty extensive tagging system. RA also has a timestamp archive for QSMP with notes about lore and things-- please check that out if you're interested in helping document events or looking to find a certain moment.

MCYT Archive Project has public vods spreadsheets for QSMP as well as other MCYT projects that are incredibly extensive, so if you're looking for a moment and you remember the date, you should be able to find the vod on the sheet. You can also use the vod archives in junction with wiki articles to figure out exactly or approximately when something happened (the QSMP Miraheze wiki includes citations in their articles, which is a massive help for this kind of thing).

Finally, I am a lunatic who figured this all out through trial and error. There are probably other, somewhat more efficient methods, like I said at the start. If you know of any, please (politely) add onto the post.

[pathos-logical]

How to Keep Doing Descriptions (from someone who does a fuckton)

Plain text: How to Keep Doing Descriptions (from someone who does a fuckton)

This is a list aimed mostly at helping people who already write IDs; for guides at learning how to do them yourself, check my accessibility and image description tags! I write this with close to two years of experience with IDs and chronic pain :)

Get used to writing some IDs by using both your phone and your computer, if you can! I find it easier to type long-form on my laptop, so I set up videos and long comics on my phone, which I then prop up against my laptop screen so I can easily reference the post without constantly scrolling or turning my head

I will never stop plugging onlineocr.net. I use it to ID everything from six-word tags to screenshots of long posts to even comic dialogue! On that last note, convertcase.net can convert text between all-caps, lowercase, sentence case, and title case, which is super helpful

Limit the number of drafts/posts-to-be-described you save. No, seriously. I never go above 10 undescribed drafts on any of my four blogs. It doesn’t have to be that low, but this has done wonders (italics: wonders) for my productivity and willingness to write IDs. If I ever get above that limit, even if it’s two or three more, I immediately either describe the lowest-effort post or purge some, and if I can't do that then I stop saving things to drafts no matter what. No exceptions! Sticking to this will make your life so much easier and less stressful

My pinned post has a link to a community doc of meme description templates!

Ask! For! Help! Please welcome to the stage the People’s Accessibility Server! It’s full of lovely people and organized into channels where you can request/volunteer descriptions and ask/answer questions

I make great use of voice-to-text and glide typing on my phone to save my hands some effort!

Something is always better than nothing!!! A short two-sentence or one-sentence ID is better than no ID at all. Take it easy :)

If you feel guilty about being unable to reblog amazing but undescribed art, try getting into the habit of replying to OP’s post to let them know you liked it! This makes me feel less pressured to ID absolutely everything I see

This is a sillier one, but I tag posts I describe as "described" and "described by me." When saving to drafts, I never preemptively tag with "described by me," since for some reason that always makes me feel extra pressure and extra stress. Consider doing something similar for yourself if that applies!

I frequently find myself looking at pieces of art which feel like they need to be considered for a bit before I can write an ID for them, and those usually get thrown into drafts, where the dread for writing a comprehensive ID just builds. Don’t do that! Instead, try just staying in the reblog field for a bit and focus on the most relevant aspects of the piece. Marinate on them for a little; don’t rush, but don’t spend more than a handful of seconds either. I find after that the art becomes way easier to describe than it initially seemed!

On that note, look for shortcuts that make IDs less taxing for you to do! For example, I only ever describe clothes in art if they're relevant to the piece; not doing that every time saves a lot of time and energy for me personally

Building off of that, consider excusing yourself from a particular kind of ID if you want to. Give yourself a free pass for 4chan posts, or fanart by an artist who does really good but really complex comics, whatever. Let it be someone else's responsibility and feel twice as proud about the work that you can now allot more energy to!

As always, make an effort to find and follow fellow describers! It’s always encouraging to get described posts on your dash, and I find that sometimes I'm happier to ID an undescribed post when the person who put it on my dash is a friend who tagged it with "no ID"

TL;DR: To make ID-writing less stressful and more low-effort, use different devices and software like onlineocr.net and voice-to-text, limit the amount of work you expect yourself to do, and reach out to artists and other describers!

[missycolorful]

omgg, i saw a few posts about the glass child stuff but never really got too into it bc i felt like they were always missing something. i wasn't really sure what that was until i saw your post, where you mentioned lullahs abandonment issues, and everything just clicked. it just all makes sense now bc i know one of the biggest proponents to the "chays STILL a glass child" is qphils seemingly continuing to prioritize lullah over chay, when looking back at most of said moments it does feel more like a dad making sure the child who was abandoned doesnt feel like that ever again. i also feel like some of the issues come with qphils falling into habits, lullah hasn't really needed extra help in a while, but i don't feel as if that notion has fully into qphils mind yet. i would just love if both lullah and chay got one on one time with qphil bc i love them together, but i think each of them often times holds something back for the others' sake, y'know? lullah and bads and/or chay and tubbos recent solo hangouts kinda showcase the difference in dynamic. anyways, tl;dr you have amazing insight and an attention to detail that i, and i feel like a majority of others, missed out on, and i would love to see more character analysis/insights done by you, if you're interested of course!

oh my goodness, thank you you're far too kind, haha!! 😭

yeah, tbh, I'm kinda surprised that part of Phil's reasoning was either not considered or even ignored. When he mentioned them "being alone," Tallulah's abandonment issues instantly came to mind; it's a huge part of her arc, y'know? So, yeah I can't see this as him accommodating Lullah's disabilities while disregarding Chay; rather, it was him thinking about her literal trauma. If it were switched (Chay had these issues, not Lullah), Phil would go for him in a heartbeat. Why people spun it as "he wasn't worried about Chay" is wild to me.

i also feel like some of the issues come with qphils falling into habits,

mhhm, that's about the crux of it. Yes, q!Phil has trained Tallulah in PVP , and neither he nor Chay recently hover over her during pvp, but when it comes to adjusting to how much his kids have changed, we're still getting there. And not just cuz of, like I said, being separated during Purgatory makes it hard for Phil to grasp what they went through. But bc he himself isn't quite in tune with his own emotions/trauma. It's a detriment to helping his children and growing as a parent, and is part of his own character growth that he is surely yet steadily going through.

And YES! I'd LOVE for the kids to have one-on-ones with Philza. They usually come in pairs, which y'know, is what makes a lot of these issues so difficult. The kids don't have time to be alone with their father, bc they're typically online with him at the same time. I crave that sole father/son bonding, not just bc they need it, but because I love their dynamic so much <3

tbh, i usually limit my character analysis to my main POV, sometimes others if I feel confident enough (i.e. Missa, Baghera). Last thing I wanna do is write analysis that does injustice to a character - any cc!phil fan knows this pain, both in this fandom and others lol! and also some characters I'm admittedly… kinda scared to talk about bc some fans get uber defensive if you talk about any of their negative traits; all fanbases have people like this, of course, crows are NO exception, but this one specifically just… I'd need to be prompted to discuss this character whom I won't specify haha. regardless, if you or anyone else ever wants to ask about my insights on qsmp characters, whether q!Phil or others, I'm more than willing to at least give it a try. thank you again! :)

[gemmahale]

I'm gonna vent about clothes and shit. Tw for: body dysmorphia, frank discussion of weight gain, general brain bullshit and internalized fatphobia-ish? Idk, I pre-tagged this and kind of went off the rails at the end.

Take care of yourself and skip this one if you need to, okay? I love you. 💚

I need to pick up some new clothes. I'm down to one pair of jeans and really can't wear skirts because it's still too windy (and I have no shorts to wear underneath for the chub rub). And I'm not ready to break out my above-knee skorts yet.

I just...I'm struggling. Last time I ordered clothes, they were too big (I went off the measurements and I think I sized up out of dysmorphia). And because I was deep in depression central last time, it took me weeks to try on the clothes. Which meant that they were outside of their return policies.

I feel frumpy when I go to work. I hate it. I want to be excited about putting clothes on again. I've been wearing essentially this "uniform" for four years now.

I got looking at my license (I'm due for a renewal and soon because my birthday's coming up) and I put on roughly 40 pounds in the last four years. Sedentary job, antidepressant weight gain, having a partner that feeds me well - all things that are net positive, but have affected my body.

Well Gemma, go walking. I need shoes. I need to buckle down and get a pair of walking shoes. But that's a whole thing because I have dancer's feet and stupid ankles and stupid arches. And starting. Starting and maintaining habits are hard. (I'm at the phase where standing for 10 minutes or so hurts my hips and low back. It's bad.)

We're running what feels like a very tight budget right now. Logically, I know it's not - I can see the numbers since I run most of the household budget. But there are things that feel like they should take priority and it feels selfish to be spending it on clothes when I have perfectly serviceable polo shirts, a sweater, pair of jeans and shoes.

I don't know. The me in the mirror is not the me I want to be and trying to claw out of this pit feels insurmountable. I love my body, that's not the part I'm struggling with (okay, some days I do, but that's ..."normal-ish" as best I can tell.)

It's the effort I have to put into looking put together. I miss taking 45 minutes to get ready in the morning, putting make up on and cute outfits and feeling good about myself. I went hypercompetent femme and it worked so well for me.

But I'm worried that a big shift is going to cause some weird blowback. I'm already down a few pegs because I present female and I'm relatively young, even though I have a doctorate in plant health and a decade of experience in the green industry. I'm worried presenting "more feminine" means people won't take me seriously. (Though we already saw that at the commissioner's meeting, so maybe it doesn't really matter.)

I've always been "low maintenance" - roll out of bed, speed shower and throw on clothes. But I want to put effort into my appearance again, for my own benefit more than anything. I feel nice when I'm showered and my hair is styled and it feels like I give a shit.

Tl;dr: Gemma needs to stop being a pansy and wallowing in her feelings, buy some clothes and walking shoes and get some dopamine dressing happening.

And maybe eventually I'll get the clothes I need to donate out of the bedroom too.

[emelinstriker]

Can I ask for a little more elaboration on if a master has kids already? Just anything that comes to mind on how they'd be with the kids, I'm not gonna lie, that post grabbed my attention so hard.

Also your au is amazing, and you are absolutely marvelous!

Are we talkin' about the scenario of the Reader having kids when they met the Champions-

Cuz if so, I'd like to imagine that...

The kids got their own personal bodyguards if the Reader tasks one or more of their servants with it.

They got a fast af way of getting around the world with this group too. Well, with the Reader's agreement of course. The champions would most certainly just deny travel requests from the kids.

Depending on the kids' ages, Macaque would offer doing bedtime shadow plays for them. Gives him bonus points from his Master, after all.

Mink could also do the same, but would most likely be banned from being alone around the kids- Or even around them in general due to how easily he can manipulate them into doing just about anything.

However, Macaque might also drop quotes or jokes that aren't so family-friendly. Can't blame him though for how messed up his view on things are.

Like, he'd most likely have some hints slipping by of a recent victim he feasted on.

But you can't tell me at least Nezha wouldn't be amazing dealing with the kids though.

Same with Azure, but he's got more of a strict dad vibe to him and is more active when the kids misbehaving.

Sure, Nezha can deal with them by himself too, but he also doesn't have the heart to stay firm enough with them. Also somewhat in fear of being so strict that his Master isn't okay with it.

MK is more of the guy where it depends on the situation- He's learned some bad habits from Wukong, but his memory also makes him kinda reset those thoughts for a while.

Though, MK has an easier time playing with them if they want a playmate/older brother figure. Just beware of when they decide to draw or play with figurines. MK has a tendency of hinting at violence in what he recreates.

Red Son would have a fun time figuring out what foods the kids like. Would also manage to sneak in veggies if they don't like veggies.

He might also create a play area for them.

Wukong isn't exactly the best role model- Due to his mindset, he would most likely try to teach the kids bad things.

And those bad things would range from stealing to murder and sacrifices.

TL;DR

Good influence: Nezha, Red Son, Azure

Okay influence: Macaque, MK

Bad influence: Wukong

Absolutely horrible influence: Mink

[icarus-suraki]

Giving myself The Horrors for the last couple of days has been extremely uncomfortable and very instructive.

See, I'm the kind of sicko who'll watch horror movies by myself at night (I love you Shudder!). Or I'll watch, for instance, Saw with other people and I'm that sicko who's just like "Oooh, ha ha! Good one!" I'm always seeking harder and stranger stuff in horror movies. Horror novels never do anything for me. I had been thinking that I was just about immune to horror.

Elaborate horror, grotesque horror, body horror, ghosts, demons, possessions, monsters, murderers, cults, torture, torment, giallo weirdness, mondo films, machetes, chainsaws, fake blood everywhere--nothing. Jumpscares still startle me, sure, but it's not the same. I'm in it for the plot, if there is one, or anything clever that might happen. "Yeah, I liked Midsommar. It didn't scare me, though."

There's a post around here somewhere that says "If the horror media doesn't scare you, then it's not for you." So I've been contemplating what horror media is "for" me.

In the last couple of days, kind of by accident, I've been listening to a lot of (read: too much) experimental music: The Caretaker, Nurse with Wound, Throbbing Gristle, Current 93... Then I slid back into Nico's The Marble Index (my beloved) and I've realized that my horror is bleakness.

It's not something where there should be nothing, like a ghost or a murderer just behind you. It's nothing where you desperately want there to be something but there's nothing there and there's nothing there and nothing will ever be there.

If you're of a certain age or if you hang out on the parts of YouTube that I do, you might know about the television movie Threads (1984), which is (tl;dr) about life in Britain after a major nuclear war. And, yes, that's all terrifying, but at the end there's a group of people in silhouette on a cloudy evening trying desperately to pull a plow through a frozen field in the midst of nuclear winter and that horrifies me. It's desperation, it's bleak.

I love the movie but the field itself in A Field in England hits me with the same horror. Elements of The Void (2016) are horrifying. The Blackcoat's Daughter got me. The Eels song "Flyswatter" gets me. Certain dust bowl photos do it. There's a creeping horror for me in Samuel Beckett plays and T.S. Eliot's poetry. Cormac McCarthy did bleakness beautifully. Goya's Black Paintings and the brownest of Bruegel's paintings do it to me and sometimes Bosch does it too. "Frozen Warnings" reminds me of a painting I can't find where a figure in a monk's habit is stumbling through a winter forest at twilight.

The Yorkshire moors and the coast of Iceland are beautiful but horrifying. I used to drive down a rural road a lot and there were boarded-up and abandoned tarpaper shacks all along it and those horrified me. Certain angles of light do it, especially in February. Somewhere there's a quote about how an empty chair in an empty room can fill one with horror--and it's true.

What shall we ever do? The fish is gutted. The rabbit is gutted and skinned. God's away on business. Harvest is past, summer is ended, And we are not saved. The light is leaving us all.

[intrepidacious]

time after time: reread edition [3]

series summary: After what starts out as a fairly normal mission, you find yourself stuck in a time loop. Which would already be bad enough in itself if it didn’t also mean having to watch Bucky die over and over again.

pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

word count: 10.1k 💀

chapter warnings: one last reminder to internalize the premise of the fic, i will just assume you know what’s up from this point on; canon-typical violence; mention of alcohol; some more permanent damage; even more banter. please note that my blog is rated 18+. minors dni. ageless/empty blogs will be blocked without warning.

read the full chapter here | series masterlist | reread masterlist

after an unexptected second week off (i got sick after going on vacation, yay summer!) we return for the third part of the reread event!! as always, if you're new, this is a reread commentary on already published chapters—an extended a/n, if you will. by clicking on the read more you're going to see spoilers up to and including chapter three 💚

every day's a holiday – tl;dr:

in the flashbacks, the reader officially meets sam and bucky for the first time. after hearing rumors about ULTIMATUM, a newly formed group taking after the flag smashers, sam wants reinforcements to find out more. he knows about twelve's time powers from steve, and cashes in an old favor she owes to steve to get her help. bucky, not knowing anything about her yet, is sceptical.

in the loop, twelve is getting nervous about being unable to stop the loop from repeating. experimenting with the timing of the mission doesn't help; neither does entering the downstairs labs through the tunnels as bucky investigates on his own and lands in an explosion. after more than a week on her own, twelve tells sam about her time loop situation. he insists that bucky be told as well. while going to get coffee, bucky writes a note to himself on twelve's arm and asks her to tell only him about the loop during its next iteration. she does, and they attempt to figure it out together—to no avail, as bucky gets shot through twelve and her wounds stay through the next loop. she decides that they're both going to involve sam again and that she will try to contact strange for help.

behind the loop

i'm not gonna lie to y'all, these chapters are getting harder and harder to summarize. there's a lot going on and i have work tomorrow, so let's just crack on.

believe it or not, when i started writing this fic, no way home wasn’t even out yet and i was absolutely convinced that my whole thing with the tower would be canonically impossible. and then we just never found out who bought avengers tower. so that was that.

Like a pesky little voice of conscience. And on your day off, no less.

the chapters i’ve recently been writing have been more serious as the loop continues, and i kind of miss this really fun narrative side remarks that tell so much about twelve as a character. i really love writing her and her concerning habits.

this flashback is the closest i come in the actual fic in tying the whole thing into canon chronologically, i think. the mcu timeline is an absolute mess, but since tfatws takes place in early 2024-ish and the time loop happens in 2025, that gives us about a year or so that the characters have known each other by the time the main plot starts. that is, in normal human time. at least that’s my headcanon.

“Ah-ah-ah.” You wrangled the mug out of his hands before he had the chance to move, barely resisting the urge to kick his shin for good measure.

even though they’re happening in consecutive chapters, a bit of time passed between me writing the nat flashback and this one. i thought it was very funny that my instinct clearly was that everyone would just start trying to break stuff around her to see if her powers were legit. and isn’t that poetic in a way? (there were no deeper thoughts behind this but wouldn’t it be fun if there were?)

despite me sending all of my characters to therapy in this fic (because let’s face it, they all need it desperately), they’re all so bad at expressing their emotions, honestly. then again, what kind of therapist would actually be able to really help you if you’re a super-powered person who loves going into emotional shut-down and guarding themselves with sarcasm? whoever they are, they’re not getting paid enough.

An entire conversation seemed to pass between the two of them without either saying a single word. Sam held up three fingers with a sly smirk; Bucky ended up rolling his eyes.

i loved that little subtle reference to the big three. i was so proud of that one. also continuing to develop sam and bucky’s friendship partnership next to the actual plot is always fun.

He ignored the question, but the way he looked at you and then crossed his arms made you decide to put salt in his coffee.

yay, another little callback to chapter one!! all these months later and sam still won’t let that one go.

“I’d like to see you try.” […] You’re trying. You really are.

this parallel i actually got complimented on in the past and that made me very happy. i’m always trying to make the shift from the flashback to the main plot the least jarring it can possibly be, and this transition just worked so well. also, bucky’s "oddly bright blue" eyes are a little nod to a wrinkle in time, so there’s another little chapter one parallel for you.

this is the first chapter where the first communication blocks are really starting to kick in. the fact that twelve won’t talk to anyone about what’s actually going on with her despite being stuck in a literal nightmare is so integral to her character. not to get to deep but that whole refusing to get help when you should theoretically be able to do something on your own is something we have in common <3 i’m also sending her through the rest of the stages of grief in this chapter, which was very much on purpose. unsurprisingly, anger was the most fun to write.

It’s not like you can google something like “time loop problem” and come up with a list of practical steps to follow. You know this because you did google, and if you have to read the name Phil Connors one more time you are going to scream.

the different approaches to trying to get bucky through the mission alive were also really interesting to come up with. i made a really bad drawing of how i imagine the setup of the whole facility, but i won’t show that to you because it’s embarrassing. anything you can come up with in your heads probably looks better anyway.

this is also the part where twelve officially gets her nickname!! finally!! why only now, you ask? well, on the one hand, bucky really does only use it in specific situations. on the other hand, i literally only came up with it by the time the first two chapters were already posted and i didn’t want to go back. i remember col was posting in the embers at the time and i loved her reader having a nickname so much i wanted to give mine a special little nickname too. i also had to text two friends to confirm it wasn’t stupid as hell. me? insecure? never.

you know when you’re doing a group project and you’re feeling really good about the work you put in and the direction it’s all going and then someone comes in and completely derails the whole thing? that’s bucky in this loop. i love him, but jfc.

"What the hell did you do, rob an ambulance and take a bath?" […] "I don’t know what your problem with them is, and I don’t need to know. But is it worth more than Bucky’s life?"

i love sam. i love him not taking things seriously until he realizes that they’re serious as hell, and then switching to compassionate and level-headed. i know this is a bucky fic but sam deserves all the appreciation and i truly hope i’m able to show that.

i also like the contrast between his reaction and bucky’s to twelve telling them about the loop. we don’t see the first time bucky gets told, but her incoherent rambling at him while he’s just trying to take it in means so much to me. but we’re not there yet. we’re getting coffee first.

holy shit, i just had to double check but i’m pretty positive that this is our first lucy scene. she was never supposed to be in the fic much, but i’m not gonna lie, she grew on me. she’s based on several of my favourite former colleagues of mine, and this is not the only fic of mine she’s infiltrated. we are all but living in the lucy cinematic universe. on a side note, she got her name because i like the name and also because i’m relatively sure there’s no super relevant lucy in a marvel … thing. i often like to include characters from different marvel properties in my fics (like ULTIMATUM themselves), but i just wanted someone without any obvious ties to anything.

“What do you want?” you turn to Bucky. “Coffee.” “What kind?” “Just … coffee.”

any ordinary days fans in the house tonight?

the coffee quest was another side plot i didn’t expect when setting out to write this fic, but it’s served me so well in establishing their dynamic a little bit more. also, the writing thing!! i’m so fond of twelve not being able to decipher bucky’s handwriting at first. and i like that he just comes up with something so practical on day one of the whole thing.

“Crazy?” His expression hardens somewhat, and an irritated flush appears on his cheeks. “Why is it crazy?”

is it just me or do these two seem to be having two entirely different conversations? :)

You don’t think, moving purely out of instinct.

ah, i do enjoy upping the stakes near the end of the chapter. as if twelve’s whole situation hadn’t sucked enough already. but don’t we all love a good 'patching each other up' scene? i’d say it was worth it but then again i know how it ends. also shout-out to sam once again for being a great friend and a good brother. sarah i love you i hope you’re having a great, calm july 4th. sadly, we have a wizard to seek out.

“What do you say, Barnes? Think you can trust me?”

and isn’t that the whole thesis of the story, really?

how it's going

well. not gonna lie but things are not going according to plan!! after my holiday (which was great by the way, thanks for asking) i went back to work for the two days i was scheduled that week, went home and immediately got sick for eight days. i've only been feeling significantly better yesterday, and so writing hasn't exactly been a priority. regrettably.

but fear not, because today i'm pretty sure i had a breakthrough with the thing i've been struggling with in chapter seven. i'm optimistic i'll be able to write the rest of it over the course of the weekend and then finally move on to chapter eight. which is hopefully gonna be a little shorter for a change. oh, i also wrote a bit of an unexpected bonus chapter today so look forward to that at some point.

i'm still not sure if i want to move my schedule backwards or if i'll try to squeeze in another reread chapter next week. i guess we'll all find out together.

until then, take care of yourselves and i'm always here if you're lonely and stuck in a time loop and just need someone to listen 💚

[extrasweetcoffee]

Riddle and Cater's Friendship is Being Slept On and I Want to Ramble About Them

This has been sitting in my drafts for a bit, so I'm just gonna post it to get it off my chest since why not. This is gonna get mega TL;DR, so more under the cut. Also spoilers for TWST JP content and several personal stories.

Basically, a few ideas that almost exclusively happens in fan content with Cater angst at the forefront has been sitting at the back of my mind for a while now. Usually (but not always) it'll have: Riddle being portrayed as a mega asshole towards Cater, Riddle stealing Trey from Cater, or portray Trey as a bad/neglectful friend towards Cater when none of that very accurate, if at all.

Okay. First off, it's not impossible to have multiple best friends. Trey was already friends with Chenya before meeting Riddle, and the two are still buddies despite attending different colleges. My guy is 18; he can handle a social circle just fine.

Second, Cater is practically the second vice housewarden if you think about it. Riddle trusted him to lead a group with the unbirthday setup and management in Cater's dorm vignette, Riddle acknowledges Cater's importance as the mood-uplifter of the dorm during Halloween II, and we learn in Masquerade that Riddle trusted Cater's advice to get a better haircut (Riddle was really out there with the Rollo cut lol). There's more instances I could name, but you get the jist - Riddle isn't the kind of character to go putting this kind of faith onto some randy.

I get the feeling that people see that one line in Cater's gym story and roll with it without thinking more about the context behind the dialogue. In that story, Cater knew he was breaking school rules by using his magic in class to cheat. Trey probably would have told him to do his exercises normally, since it's kinda his job as a vice dorm leader to make sure his boys aren't fucking around. If it were Rook, Jamil or Lilia, I have no doubt they'd do the same with their own dorm members. Plus, Riddle already knows Cater is a habitual bullshitter, so it's not like Cater had any chance of lying to his face and getting off scot-free if even if Trey wasn't there. (I wanna say this is a problem caused with the EN's translation being a bit blunt at times, but honestly I think people would still misinterpret this scene regardless).

Yes, Trey and Riddle have the more familiar relationship so Trey may prioritize Riddle over Cater if the option arises which would hurt the latter boy's feelings. But truth be told, Cater already had attachment issues LONG before NRC; I doubt Trey being Riddle's second in command or him trying to tide over Riddle's tyranny during his tenure as housewarden was changing much of anything between them. Cater couldn't muster the courage to break his facade long enough to give his (possibly) closest friend a non-superficial wish for the Starsending, even after Trey called him out for using the same one three years in a row. Cater purposely keeps people at an arm's length, and I wouldn't call Trey a bad friend in this case for respecting Cater's boundaries. Also Trey is possibly the only person in NRC who's aware of Cater's tastes and often makes him spicy food (or uses Doodle Suit on sugary foods so Cater can stand them).

Like shit, if you think about it Riddle's friendship with Trey is probably the main reason why Riddle likes Cater and is willing to tolerate his quirks in the first place. Riddle knows Trey Clover of all people would never squad up with absolute fuckbois such as the faceless NPCs who always start shit. Trey trusting you at all is one of the strongest forms of friendship clout there is, which is probably why Rook isn't on Sage Island's sex offender registry (as far as we can tell).

While Riddle does get annoyed with Cater's easygoing habits and tendency to cut corners, it's not a behavior he exhibits exclusively towards Cater. Riddle is a man of high standards, especially when it concerns Heartslabyul's integrity. He isn't singling out Cater for shirking his responsibilities any more than he would Ace or Deuce. And like I said before, Riddle does give credit to Cater when it's due. Riddle was even willing to help Cater with his test via utilizing Cater's social media addiction (and they're probably still mutuals on MagiCam, which is a cute thought).

I'm not saying people should stop doing this exact trope. After all I'm just some rando on the internet and I certainly don't have any more right to police what people do in their own time more than anyone else. Also the ex-dorm leader Cater headcanon, which is a favorite of mine, pretty much thrives off these tropes. Really this is me airing my thoughts about this as someone who likes Riddle and Cater's companionship and eats any crumbs the game and supplemental content gives me. I guess my thesis for all this would be some characters have better relationships than is read at face value.

Anyway that's my TED talk, I hope you have a good day :)

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for cutting my brother off?

To give some background, me and my twin brother (both of us 27M) had kind of a complicated childhood. I've always had some chronic health problems, plus I was smarter than any of the other kids in our hometown and I read a lot, so I was often bullied. My brother was strong and healthy and had a lot easier time making friends, but he ended up looking after me when we were growing up, especially after our parents died, and never grew out of that habit. It was annoying even then, but it's even more irritating and demeaning now. Like, we're both adults, I don't need or want him around, I can take care of myself. If I actually needed his help for something, I'd let him know, y'know?

Anyway, I've moved away from the town where we grew up and committed myself to my research (I have some ambitious projects going on that take a lot of effort and doing research beforehand) and even taken on a student (in his 90s, M) so I'm sure you can understand that I'm pretty busy right now and don't particularly want any pointless distractions.

My brother meanwhile has gotten himself married and he and his wife (in her 20s, F) have settled down in the town we're from. But he still hasn't gotten over the whole being clingy/overprotective about me thing. A while back he sent me a letter, I didn't even open it but I can guess well enough that he'd be asking after me and begging me to come and visit him or something.

By the way I'd say I have made it pretty clear in the past that I don't appreciate his cliningess and don't really want to be in contact with him anymore. We have very different lives and interests, and besides everything else, I have devoted myself into learning the basics of my chosen career since I was a child, while he hasn't, so he simply couldn't do, or even safely be around, the kind of things that I'm doing these days. We've discussed that before, too; he offered to stick around and help me, and I told him he'd just end up dead if he did (not an exaggeration, btw). Like, he should know better than try and contact me anymore.

So I sent the letter back, unopened, with a message that said I didn't know anyone called [my brother's name] and had no brother. Fine, maybe not the nicest thing to do, but just telling him to let me be clearly hadn't worked and I wanted to get the message through properly this time so I wouldn't have to keep doing it again and again in the future.

Now, apparently from what I've heard, my brother took that a bit badly, and now he's developed a drinking problem and overall doing pretty poorly and it's kinda ruining his marriage, and his wife blames me for that. I don't really think any of this is my fault. We're both grown adults, he should be responsible for how he deals with his own emotions, and anyway it was him that wrote to me first when he should have known I didn't want him to, so like what did he expect would happen?

tl;dr: My brother is really clingy towards me, I don't appreciate that, the last time he tried contacting me I sent back a slightly harshly worded message to cut things off, and he apparently took it pretty badly.

So, AITA?

[kimbapisnotsushi]

Hi.....Do you mind if I ask you some random thing? I used to love shounen and shoujo manga equally....But ever since I found BL manga 3 years ago, my interest in shoujosei (especially het romance) decrese a lot, and what I search for is just the dynamic between mc (male) and male lead...I don't want to read mc (female) and male lead or mc (male) and female lead...And what I want to read mostly are just mlm or wlw stories....

What do you think is happening to me? Is it really weird?

see i WAS just going to reply "i don't get paid enough for this" (because i don't) and leave it at that, but then i'd feel bad so like. let's get it i guess?

also, this gives me a chance to rant about my least favorite misunderstanding when it comes to animanga!! based on your wording, dear anon, you seem to recognize this already, but let's make it a reminder to everyone else because i often see this floating around: shoujo/josei/seinen/shounen are NOT genres, they are TARGETED DEMOGRAPHICS. it's NOT divided into some weird binary of "shoujo is all straight romance" and "shounen is all friendship-fueled power action adventure scenes". faded first love is shoujo. himitsu the top secret is josei. the guy she was interested in wasn't a guy at all is published by kadokawa shoten, which publishes seinen, shounen, and shoujo magazines. boys run the riot is seinen. AO NO FLAG IS SHOUNEN!!! all i'm trying to say is that a manga having a queer romance or plotline isn't stopping it from being shoujo or josei or seinen or shounen or whatever, and the reverse is the same — it's the western audience's terrible habit of redefining foreign words on their OWN terms without considering what it meant originally, and the fact that a majority of works translated for us DO comply with the stereotypes of those categories.

anyways to answer your original question: i don't think that's something i can answer for you, dear anon. i do get that straight high school romance manga can get really formulaic and boring - i mean, there's only so many times i can read about the sad and pathetic female lead who only changes because of the popular male lead who has angsty family issues that he reconciles bc of the FL'S love and also the utter destruction of second lead syndrome (i will NEVER be over kikuchi what the FUCK) and the bitchy popular female classmate who tries to get in the FL's way (i will only accept if they become friends and lovers).

or maybe you're just branching out and trying new things you didn't think you would be interested in before! and maybe trying these new things can lead to you exploring different parts of identity that you've never thought about before! maybe you'll fall back into reading tropey high school romance manga in the future! who knows! go and have fun and read everything you can! that's the only to know. hope that helps, dear anon :)

tl;dr the gay manga is turning you gay

[outrunningthedark]

Right there with ya on the way people label the Buckley’s grief as wrong! Yes, impact does matter, but sometimes you have to take into account intent. This doesn’t mean the Buckley’s haven’t done anything wrong and there is no reason for their kids to be upset with them. There is. There are many reasons for them to be upset. But it also doesn’t mean they can’t be forgiven. They can’t do better. Or that Buck and Maddie shouldn’t want them in their lives. Maddie and Buck both realize this. They both realize why their parents were the way they were. It’s even been said, they weren’t bad people BY MADDIE. It’s like these people just want Buck to kick his parents to the curb and say “ya know what, fuck off and fuck you.”

[TL;DR. This always happens with this story line. Oof.] It’s like these people just want Buck to kick his parents to the curb and say “ya know what, fuck off and fuck you.” - This is the heart of it, for sure, and I can definitely understand the fandom (made up of younger viewers compared to the GA) wanting to have their own complicated feelings towards their parents validated; there's plenty of people who have that "I'd cut you if I could, but you're my ____ and it's not that easy" mindset - myself included! Being physically disabled means *having* to depend on people that didn't/don't always like me. But the redemption arc isn't the problem. It's that Kristen didn't follow up on that family dynamic for TWO YEARS. She didn't accidentally come to the conclusion that the Buckleys should to be better the next time around. She made a deliberate choice not to even give them a mention for TWO YEARS so the audience could get a status update and be more prepared for the version of the Buckleys we would see in 6x10. Her explanation was that 4x06 (the therapy detail) clued us in to the effort happening off-screen: "They've spoken on the show about Buck and his parents trying to do some therapy. And so we just wanted to revisit those parents and see how that relationship with their children has progressed." I don't know what's going to happen with the Buckley parents a year from now, but if even Oliver has no current reason to assume things are gonna go to shit (and he's gotten all the scripts) - "Just because their relationship has been so fractured in the past doesn’t mean that there’s no room for reconciliation, and certainly seems to me like they’re on a path moving forward now where they can slowly start to build a really healthy parent-child relationship" - then I'm sticking with *my* current belief that this story line isn't about the parents as much as it is a (definitive) shift in the story and a lesson on not taking time for granted: - Buck and Maddie are no longer those little kids trying to live up to their parents' expectations, trying to do everything "right" to earn their approval. Holding onto that pain is not going to help them be the best versions of themselves. Buck cannot fully embrace self-love and self-worth if he still dwells on whether his parents regret his birth. Maddie can't raise a daughter to the best of her ability with Margaret's voice in her head making her second-guess her capabilities/decisions. These are their lives and they're finally taking control. - What Oliver said relates to my second point, that the show makes a habit of using the parent-child relationships to say "It's never too late to change." You don't have to hold on to grudges. You don't have to keep hate in your heart. And you certainly shouldn't act as though there's "no point" in reconciliation just because the thought of confrontation or showing vulnerability scares the crap out of you. If mending fences is important (as it appears to be for the Buckley sibs' peace of mind) then...take a chance before there's no time left. (Buck forgiving his parents NOW is because his subconscious feared he was dying. It might have been his only chance.) And ftr (because I feel like this is also part of where the annoyance stems from) I'm gonna repeat that unless the Buckley parents become mains - which they won't! - the standards aren't changing, and this episode told us that. Buck forgave his parents in an episode where the father-son dynamic between he and Bobby was on full display. That's still who he's gonna go to when he needs advice because Bobby is a CONSTANT presence, Bobby will ALWAYS be able to understand Buck in a way that Phillip cannot because of the years that family lost to trauma. Choosing not to revolve his life around the ways his bio parents did him wrong/influenced his behavior does not and will not in any way lessen or alter the already-established bonds he's created with the 118. It just means he's READY TO LET GO.

[lexcellence]

BANSHEE???? THE COP?????

look, i went from the available choices, and my vote went to Beto anyway

Let's break these choices down, yeah?

Cyclops - tl;dr There are specific periods of time where Scott is "hot," and the vast majority of the time he isn't! Is he my blorbo? Yes. Do I run a sideblog where the header is his Foxy Grandpa Ass jutting out? Of course. Can I vote him in good conscience? I don't think so.

Colossus - the man spent how much time trying to fuck a fourteen year old? He heard Mutants were moving to a sex cult island and was baffled because his dead pal Jeff was a human. Pass.

Gambit - not even with Rogue's dick.

Wolverine - I only barely believe he can find the clit, and have ZERO confidence he could locate my prostate, and I'm unsure enough about his grooming habits that I wouldn't willingly put any part of myself in any part of him. Pass.

Iceman - Closeted Iceman? Maybe. But out Iceman is an overcompensating baby gay written almost exclusively by straight dudes, and I have a strict policy of never touching white gays who have "BBC" in their search history.

Warren Kenneth Worthington the Third - do you know what happens to Angel's love interests? I'd rather not be hatecrimed by Cameron Hodge for a few sweaty minutes of underwhelming halfhearted bottoming from a princess who provides the own stuffing for his pillows. Keep flying, birdboy.

Nightcrawler - I know, I know, the man is a sex icon, but I'm not getting involved in any of that family drama. If it's not his evil lesbian moms trying to kill me, it'd be his step-sisters trying to get back in his spandex. Not worth it, especially after all that shit in Way of X.

Havok - Matt Fraction's Clint Barton: The Mutant Flavor???? Listen, I adore a broken man who knows his place as much as the next nigga, don't get me wrong, but if I'm not picking Scott, I'm definitely not picking his Luigi.

I do appreciate his commitment to the bit, though.

Banshee - let's jump back to Cyclops for a minute. Without getting into shipping war bullshit, most of the times he's been "hot" are when he's playing off of Emma Frost, right? Emma's tertiary mutation is the ability to make everyone else more interesting just by association, because she's fucking great. I mean I just read an Iron Man book for her, for fuck's sake. Back in the 90's, when she was newly not-evil, she and Banshee were essentially the co-leads of Generation X, a book that, when it wasn't being the New New New Mutants, about two unreasonably sexy people who couldn't stand each other being unreasonably sexy at each other. Even putting that aside (and if you read a few issues, you'll get it), the man's spent decades dedicated to flying around with his tits out due to mysterious clothing damage, amd I appreciate that.

Sunspot - look, I fixated on him when I was nine, as the only character I could find who was like me at all, and that was ignoring all the gay subtext with his best friend even before it turned into outright queerbaiting. I grew up with him, and he's only gotten better since then. He's the only dude in my top 5 muties. He's flawless (give or take bad taste in men and a propensity for being whitewashed), he's perfect, he's hilarious, he's my vote AND yours, he's Sunspot.

Cannonball - in my seminal 2020 fic, "How Many Times Would You Say You've Been In Love," I summed Beto's Best Boy up thusly:

Sam laughed, a quiet, gentle, chuckle that crinkled the corners of his eyes, not that Roberto could bring himself to look at them. Instead his own eyes travelled everywhere else, from Sam's mess of a mop, to his strong jaw, to the gap in his front teeth, his okay-for-a-white-boy lips, the freckles that covered his nose, and ending up… 

Do I love Sam as a character? Absolutely, he's one of the best. But he's not hot, he's a lapse in taste. Love conquers all, they say. 😔

Bishop - as one of exactly two Black men the poll listed, I want to give Bishop his flowers, but I have never read a good Bishop story where he wasn't awful. No baby gays, but no self-hating Black genocidaires, either.

[eclipsecrowned]

Kadi State of the Union 2023.

So. Went on vacation, got nice and relaxed, am actively looking for jobs and passively having a good time on here with what free time I find myself with. To this end, several days ago I asked you all what I should focus on moving forward, because as much as this is my blog, it is a testament to a collaborative hobby that requires communication and interaction with my peers here on the hellsite. The results I received told me that you all wanted me to focus on three core priorities: Drafts, plotting/developing dynamics, and muse info packets rather than full bios.

What does this mean moving forward?

Basically what it says on the tin.

I'm going to prioritize drafts over new threads and asks, just to help maintain a good habit towards ic interactions. This doesn't mean that I'll be drying up in terms of starters or new interactions, just that I'm going to refocus on replying to rather hoarding drafts like a dragon until I build a habit.

I'll also be reaching out to followers old and new to develop dynamics/interactions between muses, though I advise that this might take some time. I'm horribly anxious about new people, so forgive me if I come off a little too formal or 'odd' in OOC communication, I'll even out once I recognize you are not going to bite my head off or be mean to me. Honestly it's not you, it's me.

As for bios, I might find a simple character page code or multi carrd template I like and keep the 'brief biographical facts, short bio' thing I have going in my current 'temporary' muse page, and just link to larger muse info packets that include character overviews/verses/plot bunnies for canons and deeper bio info/10 key facts for OCs.

Beyond this, I plan on cleaning up my askbox -- At least removing symbol/name memes that I can no longer locate the original meme for. I genuinely enjoy having a tidy ask queue, so I might switch to that at some point in the future to space out asks/give myself time to tackle the beast it has become. For now, you might see me answering asks live until I get to a point I can comfortably draft/queue multiple asks and not burn out.

I am also, after this latest poll, putting a moratorium on adding new muses until I finish bios for the current muse list. I tend to get inspired to add new muses often, and it's not an issue for me or apparently my followers for me to continue to expand my cast. You guys are always down to clown with whoever I add, and I am never without interaction potential. I just worry it comes across like the bios will never get done at this rate, even though no one has said anything yet. This might lea to more fc polls, unfortunately for you all, bc there's always the chance that like with Severina's FC being way older than I anticipated I think I have things sorted out then find out last second they don't work for whatever reason.

TL;DR: Trying to be better for you guys and give you the content you want, your feedback has been heard loud and clear and I'm thankful for it, will see you guys on the flip side :3

[b-theshittywriter]

🐝🐝Time to start on the characters, ig.

Incase you haven't seen my previous posts:

Here's where I built a theocracy (not so well, but I tried)

And here's where I built the magic system

I cannot tell you enough how many extra things I want to add to the Magic System that would break it and stop all chances for the characters to be smart.

So I ain't doing that.

Anyway let's start building a few characters before I lose motivation.

P.S. I'm getting the character template from dabblewriter.com. Have fun.

Let's start with one that's been on my mind for a while.

✨🦈Shark Boi🦈✨

A prince to the Shark Kingdom, and mimic.

My overall idea is that he can mimic parts from all species of sharks. So guess who's gonna have to learn about sharks... yay...

Anyway, character creation time, I'll leave my explanations after each part.

And if this is too long for you, there's a TL;DR at the end.

Demographics

Name: Galo

Age: 21

Sex/Gender: Male

Ethnicity: European

Occupation: Prince

Socioeconomic status: Prince

Education: Yes

Other notes: shark boi

The name Galo is just the middle of Megalodon.

And he's 21 because why not?

European bc Megalodon remains can be found there as well as me being aware that kingdoms came from there, as well as this world being based on our own.

He's a prince, don't think they have occupations, and ofc he's getting an education, he's a prince.

I'm skipping Physical Appearance, it's too long.

History

Birth date: March 14th

Place of birth: Shark Kingdom

Key family members: Meg (Queen, Shark Mimic); Don (King); Lemon (Sister (Middle Child), mimic); Bask (Brother (youngest), tamer), Thodian (Grandparent, Shark Chosen)

Notable events/milestones: Defeated his mother in a fight to practice his mimicry at 15.

Criminal record: Spotless.

Affiliations: Shark Kingdom, idk who else.

Skeletons in the closet: Loves romance novels, but sshhh, don't call him out or he'll get embarrassed.

Other notes: Golden Retriever Boyfriend.

March 14th is Pisces and those are fish. Meg and Don come from Megalodon, Lemon comes from the Lemon Shark, and Bask comes from the Fucking Eldritch Horror of Sharks, the Basking Shark, Thodian's name comes from Acanthodian, who's believed to be the ancestor of the modern day shark.

I couldn't think of any notable events, but I want him to be talented, so he can fight. I was thinking of putting him in a war, but that causes trauma, and I don't want to give my baby any trauma before the story ever.

Also he loves romance novels cause Pride and Prejudice is fucking adorable and so is any period romance or fantasy romance set in some form of medieval era/Victorian.

Psychological Traits

Personality type: Idk yet.

Personality traits: ADHD.

Temperament: Cold and Serious around people, when alone they're always excited.

Introvert/Extrovert: Extrovert

Mannerisms: idk yet.

Educational background: Yes.

Intelligence: Strategic, Academic, Creative.

Self-esteem: Iffy.

Hobbies: Reading, practicing magic, swimming.

Skills/talents: Fighting, Magic, Swimming, Learning.

Loves: Books.

Morals/Virtues: All's fair in war. If you can't do it alone, you're worthless.

Phobias/Fears: Becoming a disappointment.

Angered by: People trying to help him.

Pet peeves: idk yet.

Obsessed with: Romance.

Routines: hah! no * cries in ADHD *

Bad habits: Sometimes eats fish raw.

Desires: ... someone he feels comfortable crying around.

Flaws: ADHD... Imma go into more detail: difficulty with time management, ADHD paralysis, executive dysfunction. Those are the basics, now for more: Already stated, iffy self-esteem, holding himself to the belief that he needs to be able to handle things alone. Also touch-starved.

Quirks: Can smell blood.

Favorite sayings: "GOBLIN DEEZ NU--"... nah I'm joking. I can't think of anything

Disabilities: ... ADHD...

Secrets: Loves Romance novels... and he "wants to feel all that love and emotion, be that attached to the person he's holding."

Regrets: none... for now

Accomplishments: Defeated his mother in a fight at 15.

Memories: ... that's too broad.

Other notes: nada.

The idea of needing to do things alone comes from how some sharks hunt alone, as well as how he can eat raw fish (cooked tastes better though).

The "goblin deez nuts" joke is meant to be a reference to the goblin shark.

As for secrets I couldn't really think of much, but I'm guessing "someday he'll be falling, without caution." idk though.

Pls keep in mind everything is still a rough draft so I can't be certain that I'm sticking with what I make today.

Skipping communication.

Strengths, Weaknesses, and Abilities

Physical strengths: Swordsmanship; swimming; combat; penmanship

Physical weaknesses: the limits of humans and sharks

Intellectual strengths: Quick thinking, strategies, creativity

Intellectual weaknesses: sometimes delay, mental processing, not very observant all the time.

Interpersonal strengths: Decent at convincing others

Interpersonal weaknesses: He can come off as scary.

Physical abilities: that of a human or sharks.

Magical abilities: Replicate parts (or all) of any sharks body.

Physical illnesses/conditions: N/A

Mental illnesses/conditions: ADHD

Other notes: N/A

He's good at convincing others due to lessons in diplomacy.

Okay that's 4 down, how many left? 2

I'm going to skip relationships, I'll work on that another time.

Rn I'm focusing on-

Character Growth (warning: spoilers, if you actually care)

Character archetype: Golden Retriever Boyfriend? no. Cold Prince with a Heart of Gold? no. ✨🦈Shark Boi🦈✨? yes.

Character arc: Learning to accept help, and that his value is not determined by how well he does something.

Core values: I don't have an answer unfortunately.

Internal conflicts: Is he really good enough to inherit the throne? What happens if he fails? idk I can't think of a lot

External conflicts: Ofc a Human Tamer possibly starting a war, he fails to stop them at something, maybe the antagonist persuades his parents to disown him or ruin his name or something. once again this is still in the early stages.

Goals: Obviously to stop the antagonist from killing tons of people... but why? maybe because he feels it's his duty as prince to stop the bad from happening? Maybe since everyone is scared of him, he wants them to trust him to be king?

Motivations: oh... I already answered that.

Epiphanies: ... he's worthy and doesn't need people to tell him?

Significant events/plot points: Thorian dies and he becomes the Shark Chosen?

Other notes: seems okay for now.

___________

Okay quick summary of what we've done so far:

Magic System:

Mimics can copy the abilities of animals

Tamers can control animals

Both are chosen by gods of the animals.

When a chosen dies, the god chooses another.

Society:

The Equestrian Church runs a theocracy

Shark Kingdom

Characters:

MC has no powers

Antagonist is a Human Tamer

Galo is Shark Kingdom prince who acts cold but when he's comfortable being himself (which is often when he's alone) he gives off Golden Retriever Boyfriend vibes, and secretly loves romance novels. He's also super talented... and has self-esteem issues.

That's enough for now, I'll keep working on this another day.

And just so you know ideas are always welcome.

[crusherthedoctor]

9, 13 and 14 :)

9. What inspired you to write your first fic?

For my one-shots, I felt like exploring some rarely touched territory. The Tails/Amy one in particular, since I wanted to resolve Tails' controversial Lost World portrayal in a way that could make sense (and I didn't need to use the phrase Wildly Inconsistent in order to do it), since as a Tails fan, the period of fans constantly shitting on Tails - some even requesting that he be replaced or killed off - was not fun. So I guess you could say the Tails/Amy one-shot was me venting, but in a positive way lol.

As for BtS/Stellar, I'll admit that part of it was due to the "Fine, I'll do it myself" mentality when I grew fed up with how hard it is to find traditional Sonicy adventure stories that also retain Eggman as the undisputed main villain - even less that don't needlessly soften him up for the sake of "depth" - but mostly it was because I simply had all these ideas that I thought could be worth sharing, and I wanted to see if I could make a coherent story out of them.

It began in 2014 with the naked template of the character who would eventually become Trudy. Then I started thinking up what, in my mind, the ultimate Eggman Big Bad story would be like. Then I brainstormed the story themes involved, and the setting, and how the official cast would interact with the OC in a way that remained in-character for all of them, and it just kind of snowballed from there.

tl;dr: "All these ideas are exciting me, but no one else is gonna write it cause they're too busy writing OoC Sonamy/edgy Scourge/SA2 adaptation #500, so I better harness that Passion and Effort that fans always talk about".

13. Describe your writing style. If you were to participate in an anonymous fic writers guessing game (like The Masked Author), what writing habits do you have that would be a dead giveaway that it’s you?

If there's gameplay segments, the immediate giveaway would be that Gameplay Narration!Crusher is a lot more sassy than Story Narration!Crusher.

If not… well, as you've noticed for yourself, I'm fond of giving the readers as much of a perfect picture as I can when it comes to the locations. I try not to go overboard and drag it out, but I'm one of those guys that must describe the exact kind of scenery, architecture, sky, etc. "Can't you just say it's a sunset?" "NO, they might think it's just a basic orange sky, I HAVE to specify it's a purple that gradually fades into deep red from a distance!!!"

As for how I write the actual characters, one stipulation that I've been trying to impose on myself with Stellar is to be as economical as possible with the dialogue. They still say a fair amount mind you, since that's pretty unavoidable for a story that's in written fanfic form, but for the big dramatic moments and emotional scenes and whatnot, my intent is to focus on the characters' actions and subtle gestures first and foremost, with everything they do say being just the right amount to go along with it. I take a conversation, decide on the necessary exchanges and length, then add some additional character-enhancing flavor text afterwards to round it out.

This was brought about by the IDW cast's inability to shut the fuck up, with Sonic's wall of text to Surge being the final straw. It made me realise and appreciate how laconic the game cast is by comparison (...usually), so that made me want to try it out. Eggman is a slight exception for this rule, since being Eggman, I figure he can get away with hearing himself talk as much as he sees fit, though even with him, every inch of his dialogue is at least still relevant in some form or another, some cases more subtle than others.

14. Share a snippet.

(Note that there'll be some narration that breaks this up a bit during the actual story.)

Eggman: So being the generous gentleman that I am, I've given these ancient husks a second chance at life so they can have the freedom to carry out my pursuits. But I couldn't just leave them, could I? All that time spent from a bygone era surely must have left them scared and confused upon witnessing this brave new world! They could do something silly in their old age, like resist me! So to help them out in the modern day, I gave them a little… maintenance.