#so annoying how all the people around me who got Covid then get to be like ‘I no longer have Covid my body is healthy I feel great!’

[tyrianlynch]

Yes I got Covid again yes I’ve already recovered no recovery is not as good as I thought it’d be

[sturniololoco]

I KNOW YOURE CLEANING OUT YOUR INBOX BUT I WAS THINKING AFTER THE TRIPLETS NEW VID TODAY

SLS where reader and chris are the only two who dont test positive for covid, so they have to hunker down in chris’ room together. except, her and chris arent as close as her and nick and her and matt, so they disagree and argue a bit before they make up and bond <33

Covid

Sturniolo Little sister (SLS) x The Sturniolo Triplets

Warnings: Sick, language, fighting, etc.

SLS/N's POV

Nick got covid right after last week's Friday video, then passed it on to Matt, so they both have to quarantine by themselves. Chris and I were still standing though, but now we had to quarantine together in his room, in the hope of avoiding the sickness.

"Hey, guys. As you know Nick got covid and now Matt has it now. So I'm stuck with this goofball until they all feel better," Chris said to the vlog.

I rolled my eyes and stuck my AirPods in my ears, not wanting to put up with his shit at the moment.

Chris and I aren't as close as I am with Matt and Nick. I'm not sure why though, I guess I just drift to people who aren't annoying little grimlins every time you try and talk to them.

-

It was finally dark outside and it was time for bed. after a day of hearing Chris talk and talk and talk into a camera has made my head began to throb.

But I wasn't going to bed anytime soon.

Chris was playing fortnight with Matt right now, and being extremely loud while doing it, banging on the table and screaming our strings of cuss words.

I walk over to his closet, yawning, pulling out one of his fresh Love hoodies and throwing it on, leaving the hood on. I snuggle under Chris's covers, getting warm, and being so tired that I fell fast asleep in the middle of my brothers bed, even with him screaming in the background.

Chris's POV

"Alright man, I'm tired as fuck. I'm signing off." I heard Matt say through my headset. I told him I loved him, then turned off my PC.

After throwing on some sweats and a sleep shirt, I walk over to my bed, ready to crash.

But I stop once I see SLS/N laying in the middle, snuggled up in one of my hoodies that was too big for her.

I couldn't help but thinking how adorable she looked, snapping a picture then sending it to Matt and Nick.

I eventually came to the conclusion that I was just gonna lift her really fast. I snaked my arms up under her and picked her up bridal style before laying down with her in my lap.

As I pulled the blankets up, I hear her mumble something incoherent in her sleep, snuggling close into my chest. I wrap my arms around her, drifting to sleep myself.

SLS/N's POV

I woke up this morning to the pounding headache that hadn't gone away over night like I hoped. I opened my back pack full of things I brought from my room and pulled out my emergency bottle of Tylenol, I climbed back into bed, popping two in my mouth.

Chris was still asleep, but I really wanted to snuggle up into his warmth like last night. I don't know why, but it felt so good getting cuddles from him. Probably because we don't hang out enough for me to ever get some on the regular.

I ever so gently lifted his arm, crawling under it before letting it go. I felt him stir as his hand hit the mattress and look up just in time to see him blink the sleep from his eyes.

"Sorry, I didn't mean too wake you up." I mumbled, kind of embarrassed.

"Its fine, I promise. Are you okay?" He asked, probably seeing the squint my face was making due to the throbbing in my head.

I shrugged and told him my head still hurt like a bitch.

"Well why don't you do your covid test then hop in the shower while you wait, The hot water will probably help your head." He said, reaching over to his night stand to grab a new test.

-

I hop out of the shower and change into some sweats and one of Chris's big t-shirts, then immediately go and check my test.

I reads negative, as does the one next to it which I assume is Chris's. I sigh in relief, not wanting to get sick at all.

-

I walk into Chris’s bedroom to see him scrolling on his phone in his bed. l’m surprised when I see him put his phone down and open his arms for a cuddle. I walk over to him and wrap my arms around his torso, the awkwardness only lasting half a second.

“hey sissy?” I hear him mumble quietly into my hair. I hum in response. He clears his throat thickly and I can hear the emotion in his throat.

“I just wanted to say that I’m glad we got to spend this time with you. I love you so so much and that will never change.”

I look up to see a tear fall from his eye, but he quickly whipes it away. I feel my own tears coming and I snuggle up close into his chest.

“That was cringey.” I say, laughing out a sob. He chuckles and wraps his arms around me, squeezing me tight.

@idkwhosnyla @babypat08 @eyelessdemon00 @christopherowensturniolo @sturnsxx @freshloveforthefit @matty443355 @sleepysturnss @emeraldgreenbeautiesstu @sunsetsturniolos @hoesturniolo @x4nd3rsukz @chr1sgirl4life @sstvrnioloo @sturns-posts @chrisstopherfilmed @kylasrealityx @zoeysturnioloooooo @comet235 @islaasblog @sturnioloblogs

[romanarose]

No.

No outbreak!Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Join my taglist : Masterlist

Summary: You're sick and Joel won't let you go to work.

Warnings: Being sick. Extra for talking about covid, but reader doesn't have covid.

Immersability: Reader is fem bc this is specifically written for someone. Usually in drabbles I try to make the reader gender non descript just to make them accessible to people of all genders but this is for someone. I toyed around with sick indicators like looking flushed or pale, but I just landed on describing a change in coloring. I'm sorry if that's not vague enough.

A/n: Written for @joelsgreys who I saw was sicky wicky and I just wanted to give a few short paragraphs of comfort.

Support writers and content creaters! Reblog and leave comments!

***************

"No."

Joel stands in front of your bed, arms crossed and already dressed for the day. You had been sleeping in, or trying to. How was he not cold? You were freezing.

You try to get out of bed, but Joel walks over, gently but firmly laying you back down. "Joel! I have to go to work!"

"Like hell you do." Joel pulls the covers up over your shaking form. "You were up all night hack'n up a lung, what if you have covid?"

"I don't have covid, I checked last night."

Joel furrows his brow as he looked down at you. "What? When?"

Coughing loudly, you try to convince your husband you were fine. "I took a test around 5 when I thought *cough cough* I was gonna puke."

"Sweetheart..." He kneels down beside you, brushing hair out of your sweaty forehead. "Why didn't you wake me?"

"Because you have to work too! It made no sense for us to be miserable."

Joel sigh, pulling out his phone. "Try and look as sick and sad and possible."

You didn't have to try too hard. Your change in coloring was apparent and your face gleaned with sweat. Your nose was raw and dry and chapped from wiping it and your eyes held deep bags from no sleep. To top it all off, you frowned and pouted, eyes glistening from the sickness.

He couldn't help but chuckle as he snapped a picture. "Good, you look awful." He sent the picture to Tommy. 'You're on your own today.'

"Joooooeeeelll" You whine. "I can't stay home if it's not covid, boss won't have it!"

He snatched your phone off the bedside table and dialed your boss, letting him know that you were running a fever and puking, and he was certain he wouldn't want you spreading that sickness to others knowingly, right? Your boss conceded, Joel tone leaving no room for discussion and his implication promoting your boss to say you can stay home tomorrow too.

Your smile greeted him when he got off the phone. "I love you, you know."

"I do."

*Ding!* Went Joel's phone, loudly. Joel always had it on loud so he could hear. He didn't trust the vibration or flash and his hearing was bad enough he wanted to make sure he always got important phone calls and texts involving you, Sarah, and Tommy. It was annoying, a slight irritant and sometimes made you jump, but it was a small sacrifice for him and his peace of mind. He looked at his phone, opening the text from Tommy. 'Disgusting. *puke emoji* Both of you stay away from me. I got it here.'

Taking out the Vaseline you always kept for your dry lips, he rubs a glob on your dried up nose. "I'm gonna drop Sarah off at school, then run to CVS and get you shit. THEN I'm going to IHOP and getting a breakfast fit for a princess."

"Oh my god I'm starving."

"I know, baby." Joel kissed your gross forehead before shoving a few things in his pocket as Sarah called for him downstairs. "Try and take a nap, I'll be home in an hour and take care of yuh, alright?"

"Okay. Thank you."

"For what?" He looked genuinely confused. That was Joel, alright. Joel Miller always took care of everyone around him. He raised Tommy, he raised Sarah always putting them before any need he had for himself. When you came into his life, he did the same for you. You liked to think you returned it, that you cared for him too, but to Joel, caretaking was second nature to him. He didn't need a thank you, because that's just what he did... but you thanked him anyway. Sarah was a great kid, but she was 14, and 14 year olds are in their own world. Tommy was like a brother to you, and you knew he'd care for you too and has before, but he lived his life knowing Joel would bail him out.

You would never take Joel for granted.

"For everything you do for our family."

**************

Hope you feel better soon Vee! I know we don't really know each others but I know how much a lil fic can perk someone up so I hope you are least feel comforted bc your right, Joel would NEVER let you work under these conditions!

@fandxmslxt69 @runa-falls @k-ra @whatthefishh @campingwiththecharmings @ahookedheroespureheart @mikaelak @littlenosoul @stevenandmarcslove @pikapuff-316 @del-ightfulling @faretheeoscar @harriedandharassed @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @campingwiththecharmings

[mylivejournalsucks]

I saw Marc on my way home today. He was walking the dog with his friend—a photographer from New York. I forget his name. but he was straight. Sorry, is. I assume all straight men are dead. Inside, at least. I kept asking him, "Are you kidding about being straight?" I think he saw it as a compliment. Which, of course, it was. I really enjoyed him, even though he asked to take a picture of my scar. Embarrassing! For him. Not for me. I told him so and he took it like a champ. I love people who can take it. Marc has a meeting tomorrow with a publisher for his book. It's good. He describes things I wouldn't know how to ever describe.

We said goodbye—Marc had to go play dodgeball???—and I called my friend who is depressed because everyone seems to be a little depressed these days. My friend said she felt rudderless, like it was COVID times all over again. Things really never got back to normal, did they? Everything starts and stops and starts and stops.

Speaking of depressed, it's Kirsten Dunst's birthday. I love her. For all the obvious reasons, of course. She's a fantastic actress with exceptional taste. But what cinches the deal for me is that, despite her being a movie star, she's always felt at the edge of Normal. Like, you could be friends with her, even though she's the most popular girl in school.

Remember when Kirsten checked into Cirque Lodge for depression at 27 and then moved to New York? She felt too isolated in her Nichols Canyon house so she bought an apartment in Soho. The paps followed her everywhere. I met my friend Garrett for dinner one night. It was 2008, my first year living in New York. He asked, "Did you see the pictures of Kirsten on JustJared today?"

"No," I said, annoyed at my neglect.

"She was photographed walking around Soho for hours in a loop. The same blocks, over and over again."

I thought that was strange. But I think I get it now.

[eccentric-nucleus]

covid stuff

the last several years have really done a number on my emotional wellbeing. like i would have already said on the whole i tend to be a fairly unhappy person but it's definitely gotten substantially worse with covid. basically every time i go out there are these waves of sadness and anger that just kinda wash over me continually. it's not great.

i don't really like being around people. when i was a kid i got yelled at a lot for, like, not wanting to go to the babysitter's, not wanting to spend time around other people, not really wanting to be in any kind of position where i could be observed by other people. there was a lot of, you know, "listen everybody has to deal with other people sometimes, and part of existing in society is not making things an enormous hassle for other people". yeah yeah plenty of stuff makes you miserable but it is genuinely not the responsibility of other people to restructure their whole lives around whatever upsets you; sometimes you have to just suck it up and deal for the overall good of, like, society. sure. it feels like i am constantly tolerating a lot of things for the good of society

and then covid hits, and it becomes clear that nobody really meant that, not really. i learned the lesson wrong and thought the point was 'for the good of society' and not 'people should never be expected to restructure their lives'. oh, right, it was always about normality all along. if keeping things normal requires hassling some introverted kid, then we gotta hassle that kid. if keeping things normal requires millions dying and who-know how many getting serious, still-unknown long-term medical issues from a plague, well, that's just a cost we'll have to pay. i'm kind of furious every single time i go into a building and i see nobody wearing masks. it's the smallest fucking thing but this vast confluence of habit and pressure means that oh i guess even that was too much to ask.

like a little personal information, i guess: literally every single time i have gone outside in the past four years i have been wearing a mask. it's been annoying! i got pressure bruises on my nose several times! i'm really lucky i don't actually have some job that requires me to interact with people for 8 hours of the day, b/c then i'd have to have figured out something that doesn't wear away at the flesh of my nose longterm. wearing a mask kinda sucks, actually. it's still such a small fucking thing to do and it has such a well-documented impact on transmission rates

it's not like covid went away! covid is going to be around for the rest of human history! waves will come and waves will go, and it's still mutating furiously, & all we can really hope for at this point is that at some point, uh, probably in the next hundred years, it spreads to a form that doesn't give people organ damage. another huge scientific breakthrough that manages to kill off the common cold would be okay too, i guess.

just... seeing all of society go laser-focused on pretending things are fine and nobody needs to go out of their way to mitigate risk or accomodate other people just seems deeply and utterly grotesque. a profound and utter abandonment of any sense of morals or ethics, just to keep things Normal.

so yeah covid on the whole has made me a much more unhappy person. i go through this whole train of thought basically every single time i step outside, which is probably unhealthy. but that's how it is

[bawnjourno]

without further ado... Sparks Austin recap

I won’t elaborate but the two days of travel to get here were very exhausting and trying. I rolled up to the venue, prepared to maybe sit during some songs and nurse a Diet Coke. 

I had never been to Austin before and boy, is it a music oriented city. Not just the venues but the people, the culture. There were multiple fans in Hippo tour shirts, a fully cosplayed Cate Blanchett, and lots of women in beautiful dresses. The Moody Center’s hallway had snapshots of all the cool people that had played there. I love venues with history!

I was worried that the venue set up would be annoying or awkward but I got to my front row seat and I was 4 feet from the stage, just off to the left of Ron’s piano - the perfect view.

The show started... a lot of U.S. venues had audiences who mostly sat and then got up during MTCYDT but the two thirty something hipster dudes behind me stood the whole time so I got to stand and dance :) And a good chunk of the crowd on the left stayed standing too! I was drenched with sweat maybe 4 songs in and it was amazing. All my tiredness and stress melted away as I was loudly singing and dancing.

This crowd was electric, so loud and responsive and to the Latte cuts too! Not just the hits! People were going crazy for TGICIHL in a way that Milwaukee was more subdued about. Russell smiled at me really big early in the show, probably because I knew the words and was loud and enthusiastic. I got a cute SMWS Russell tummy jump video which I will post later.

During  Nothing Is As Good As They Say It Is, I obviously knew the way Russell sashayed and waved his arm back and forth during the chorus from other shows and was mimicking him. He locked eyes with me and we did the hand punctuating thing at each other during that TWICE.

I am a “woo”er I will freely admit that and so I am constantly obnoxiously screaming and clapping and just being super loud. So I obviously was screaming my head off when Ron got up for Shopping Mall Of Love. During the second chorus he looked DIRECTLY at me and went “yeah ✊” I will post video later but I was shakinggggggg.

There were lots of loud applause breaks and late-ish in the show (can’t remember when), Ron looked directly at me again and mouthed “thank you”. Like no thank YOUUUUUUUU KING!

I know Russell bounces around a lot on stage, HOWEVER, the way this stage was set up, it was probably a bit harder to get to our side of the stage, but he came over a lot anyway and I have to think it was partially because of me because he seemed to almost be finding excuses to come dance with us even when he was about to have to start singing again 🤗

Eli dancing and feeling the music was so slay I love that short king jfdgkjrfkjg

I’m not sure how or why Russell would ever EVER feel self conscious about his tummy.... I was lucky to get it captured during SMWS... during MTYCTD though he danced over and it was too fast for me to get filmed but I basically was 4 feet from the man and watched his tummy bounce out from under his t-shirt for a good 5-7 seconds... mesmerized is the most polite way to put how I felt in that moment but oh my fucking god 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 [redacted] [censored] [an oncoming train whistle obscures what i’m about to say] but suffice it to say [meme voice] I think I hauve covid...

And the open collar and sweat obviously..... yeah.

As I divulged to a few of you and was encouraged by @jefffreybeaumont, the plan was to make a sign that says “YOU’RE MUCH HOTTER THAN THE GALLAGHER BROTHERS” because in interviews they’re always being asked how they don’t fight like the Gallaghers or the Davies. The secret spice was typing it out in Barbie font. I somehow managed to not get it wrinkled in my over 1000 mile 2 day voyage and held it up during the shuffle. I don’t think Russell could read it because he was farther away but during the shuffle I held it up. It was hard to tell Ron’s reaction because I was multitasking but I watched later and sent it to @rhythmthlef and she says his face showed “bemused self effacement” fdkjgkldjsfkg. 

Something I’d stupidly personally worried about for ages was that Ron and Russell didn’t care about the U.S. as much - the U.K. has always embraced them and I’d worried that they didn’t think of these shows as special or meaningful because radio stations here don’t give them the time of day and they don’t always sell out. Since Chicago, I don’t worry about that anymore. Their faces shine with excitement, pride, and pure joy at EVERY SHOW. They’ve gotten more fans since TSB and opportunities that they wouldn’t have gotten ten years ago, even in the U.S. I mean, NPR Tiny Desk! Wow. Russell was emphasizing that the feelings of the shows “don’t go away when we go to the next city” and I could tell that he really meant it. 

Eli came out for the encore in the bucket hat and a red Southern style bandana - very cute. The man who took the photo handed Russell his cowboy hat beforehand and Russell says, “Oh yeah, my hat.” He then proceeds to put it on, smirk confidently at the audience, and say, “What’s up, yall? You from these parts?”WHAT IS WRONG W HIMMMMMMMM GFHJDKJGFKLDSJFKDS CALIFORNIA DOOFUS!!! And I fought for my life squeezing into the pic but I’m in there! Right behind the keyboard!

The pic is taken and I know my chance is now. I start screaming for Ron (who was a bit closer to me) but he doesn’t hear me. I then start screaming at the top of my lungs “RUSSELL!!! I HAVE A LETTER!! RUSSELL!!” and after about 7 times he hears and sees me and meanders over and takes the letter and 2 rainbow Sparks logo acrylic pins (the ones I sold to some of yall a couple months ago)! I’m not sure if they’ll wear the pins but I had to try. I do hope they read the letter - they really do mean everything to me. I was unsure that I’d get their attention at all, so I didn’t get the moment I handed it on film, but I do have a video of Russell holding and then glancing down at the letter. They were leaving the stage and Russell stopped to hold hands with multiple people on his way offstage.

I stood there for a minute, very emotional, then made my way out. As I left, a security guard off to the side went “Hey, you sang all night man, that was great.” and I just replied “They’re my favorite band, you’ve gotta be passionate, y’know, thanks!” Even non fans know I’m a real one kgcjkgjfdkjgfd.

My Lyft driver was super sweet and chatty and I rode back to my hotel feeling like I was floating on a cloud.

Random sidenotes: A) They cut “Toughest Girl In Town” which I didn’t realize til later - I’m sure they’re getting tired near the end of the tour B) Eli is truly such a talented guitarist? He slayed the Bon Voyage solo. He was right in front of me so I really got to see him shine (in my brief moments not zeroed in on Ron and Russell) but obviously the whole band is amazing C) I sent Alissa snaps of me during Beaver O’Lindy and they said “You’re almost singing louder than Russell is” kdgfjkdjkg D) This was the one time I didn’t cry during It Doesn’t Have To Be That Way because I was sweating so much that [Lucille Bluth voice] I couldn’t spare the moisture E) I will share a few videos but I swear my singing is horrendous and embarrassing so just the key moments jfdgjfi F) I used almost 10GB of memory on photos and videos...

The plan is to get a Sparks tattoo within the year. I’ve gotta do it. They are so special to me. I’ve been into bands before and I don’t regret any of it but this feels different and special. This truly feels like where I belong as a fan and a person and as someone who has always felt strange and awkward and out of place. But there’s one place and one song and that’s Sparks.

SparksTour forever ✨

[the-s1lly-corner]

Hey man, its me again~

(If i may overwhelm you or anything just say so, i sometimes dont understand the limits of being too annoying)

So. Hehm. I got covid. And. I was sick for a few weeks but then yesterday it became very, very bad(i presume because of stress and overexaustion, as well as due to not taking care of myself properly..) to the point of not being able to hold a bottle. I felt kinda horrible, but until night that was only the start. I could only lay in bed, overheated, and ended up falling asleep midday and having hallucinations/nightmares at night. I woke up in tears after a supposedly silly goofy dream(caine×kinger (i just knew they were a couple) arguing, well, more like kinger being very, very mad for some reason and caine looking at him with his pathetic sad eyes while trying to argue back/explain himself. Also there was zooble looking all smug at The Camera like in Office in a way only an asshole weedsmoker would do, all relaxed. Oh also it was a Zombie Apocalypse au and kinger just had a big booty for no reason) and hyperventilating, it was horrifying for some reason(maybe because i love the guys... royalteeth<3). I was Very Delirious.(i am a bit better after finally being taken seriously and given medication after

Anyway i said all this only for you to know about the dream, i liked it very much in the end, yummy angst.

So i was wondering, maaay i please req a worried itward trying to force sick!reader to go to bed but they bluntly refuse because "I have WORK to do and people to TAKE CARE of! I don't care, am just.. a little under the weather, yes, but its nothing a warm tea later wont fix. So i need to- no, i am perfecty capeable-" <- said before falling over a coffe table half dressed, almost landing on Mr. Midnights fluffy butt. When they finally give in they're kinda clingy and a bit whiny("..do you still love me?"; *stumbles out of the room to get to itward who decided to get them some tea, scaring him shitless in the process* "can we hold hands? Please")

(The dream and other info has nothing to really do with the request and has no purpose but to tell you abt the silly scenario, you can just disregard it. Anyway i'm going to sleep good noight!!♡♡♡)

Itward x sick!stubborn!Reader!

IM SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LOKG TO GET TO THIS SOBS

That said I hope youre feeling better man :( sickness sucks!! I hate sickness!! Beats up the sickness!!!

Also I know I already said this when you checked your request status, but you're not overwhelming me or annoying me!! Get down with the silliness!!

Also look at this goofball, how he almost falls

Loser

(Gently holds)

I think that he would treat most sicknesses on the same level of seriousness; like sure he wouldn't panic if you had a simple fever or cold.. but he's going to be firm on you not overworking yourself

In fact its likely that he will bar you from chores and work for at least an entire day after all your symptoms die down

Very quickly notices that something is wrong with you. I mean itward looks over a bunch of kids and kids get sick all the time, so I think he can see the signs even before you're fully ill

Asks you if anything is wrong and offers to do some of your chores around the ship (and that's assuming he even assigned you any) as well as offer to run the errands you needed to do that day

Gentle but firm when talking to you and trying to keep you in bed

Like gently pushing you back into bed and covering you up in a blanket or two

"Yes yes, I know dear that you've got work to do... but please, I need you to rest... can you do that for me?" And other similar pleas

Hes making you soup when you wobble in and ask if hes mad at you; because his tone sounded a little stressed when he last talked to you

He cant even answer before you face plant onto the floor of the ship...

Immediately rushes to your side; which likely only takes about two steps for him thanks to his long legs.. scoops you up and just

In this gentle quiet voice reassures you that hes not angry. A little stressed out for you, but not angry

Key words, "for you", not "by you"

I would say for comic value he would tie you to bed, but I feel even itward wouldnt go down to those extremes (and this man can get a little silly. I mean he literally locked Fran in a room so he could make her a surprise birthday party. Itward can get a little intense, I think)

No instead I think he would just stick by your side to ensure you're actually resting

One of admin favorite tropes; character b is sick/very tired and in bed, character a who just put them to bed goes to leave only for b to grab their sleeve/hand/arm/whatever to stop them and just. "Plesse stay"

That happens with you two, I think

And most likely, if itward doesn't have anything super time sensitive or important to do, he will stay with you

Besides, hes a skeleton from another reality. What are the chances that a human sickness can spread to him?

Well that's assuming it's a sickness from the third reality and/or one that cant jump species

But shhh

Itward pretty much becomes a mother hen and tries to prevent you from doing anything that may make your symptoms worse.. as well as caring for you via making you food, keeping you hydrated, and even carryout you around if your legs are too weak to support you

[theroyalmisfitmess]

People on Twitter are having an annoying age gap discussion about Rachel Zegler and Josh Andres Rivera. This is all a bigger picture issue. Because I’m bothered and concerened by how lightly “grooming” has been thrown around as a term these days.

As someone who’s been following Rachel since she did covers in her bathroom, people need to dig into the context more. Yes, Josh and Rachel met when she was 17-18 but they did not date immediately. They hit it off but not in that way. They became close friends and it was very much platonic at first.

Enter COVID-19, the chapter people forget. One whole year people cooped in their homes. Rachel and Josh still weren’t dating. They were very much platonic friends. It wasn’t until West Side Story promotions in late 2021 they got together. By that time, Rachel was 20. Almost before the year ended, something shifted. We all know their anniversary was October and the timeline fits because by the second half of the year, energy shifted in Rachel’s posts with and about Josh.

And just to make people think. Why weren’t y’all questioning Andrew Garfield’s age gap with Emma Stone? They too had a 5-6 year age gap. Given Emma was already 23 when they met, but when people throw the “Her brain isn’t developed by 25” argument around it sounds absolutely hypocritical.

Now, I’m not defending their age gap. Personally, I wouldn’t date someone more than five years older than me. But here’s the thing. Relationships can be complex. It could’ve been a slow development relationship, but it also could’ve been as quick as a month. It’s not one size fits all. Also, let’s not throw around the term “grooming” so easily. There are real victims of grooming we need to protect.

EDIT: Just remembered something. If I’m not mistaken, both of them were with other people or getting over breakups when they met. I could be wrong. Need older and bigger Rachel Zegler fans to confirm this.

[mintytealfox]

Adding to the anon's AU idea (hope you are okay with that anon hehe)

I'm like lowkey picturing Norton being like canon Norton, a miner from the 19th to 20th century so he is kind of confused but curious on a lot of new modern technology. Maybe also annoyed because part of him so badly wants to learn how certain new tech works (no one can tell me if Norton had the chance, he would not try and take apart things to learn how they work, this man loves knowledge) but if he touches it, the entire thing will just break on him. So as a way to please Norton's curiosity, Alice gets him books from the library or lends him books from her own collection.

Norton also learning a LOT about world events that have happened while he was stuck in the mines. Example:

Norton: What's the Great Depression?

Alice: Oh, that's when the stock markets crashed horribly and everyone was surviving on cornmeal paste

Norton: oh...well, hey! You seem to thriving with all these fancy do-dags. The economy must have gotten better!

Alice: Oh. Oh hahaha, no its got worsen

Norton: huh-

Alice: Especially after Covid :D!

Norton: Wha-??

Alice: Which by the way, maybe its a good thing you are like a weird rock monster? Because then you can't catch it, because you know, despite us having a vaccine for it, some people didn't want to get it. Also i think it evolved.

Norton: //horrified

HIM STILL BEING FROM THE 1800s AND HAD BEEN IN THAT CAVE FOREVER YYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Person from another time now having to deal with new time period stuff IS ALWAYS A FAVORITE OF MINE~ THIS AU JUST GOT EVEN BETTER AND I DIDN'T KNOW THAT WAS POSSIBLE OHHHHH MY GOOSSSHHHHHHHHHH 👏👏👏👏👏👏

LOL the AMOUNT of stuff that has happened between the two time periods LOL OH NOOOOOO 🤣 "we had a world war" "oh.." "then another one 20 years after it" "???????" "and a load of other stuff, but anyway, cellphones" "???????????" "oh and coal miner wages are averaged around $21.52 an hour now" "IN AN HOUR???????????????????" "hey siri?" -robot voice responds- "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" Then all the flashing city lights that never turn off, talk about sensory overload! Even all the colors and scenes just constantly going on the phone and TV and Alice just needing to put all that stuff away at first cause woah could be a lot for someone who has been underground for so long! OH OH OHOO! What if he started collecting things from people he has scared out of the mines over the 100-something years and seeing the tech they would drop and putting it all in his little collector corner he has and seeing how its all changing and trying to figure out these broken things. Then Alice sees it all and is like "Oh this is so NEAT, history collected all just right here"

Oh man oh man oooohhh mmaaannnnn 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

[moonygryffin]

I just read about the Lyme disease. I knew that tick bites were bad, but not that bad! I saw many ticks in my village, but I never got bitten luckily. I hope you recover from this disease. Take care of yourself!

Thanks for your words and sorry if you don’t want a long explanation of Lyme disease, but I really like talking about it/my experience with it to help spread awareness! So uh, stop here if you don’t wanna read all that lol

Lyme is actually one of the least bad tick-borne diseases, in my opinion! Which is why ticks are so scary to me. They’re very important to the ecosystem, I would never wish them to be eradicated, but I do hate them and don’t want them anywhere near me lol

There’s basically two versions of Lyme. If your doctor catches it early and you don’t have other major health issues, it can be cured relatively easily with a month or so of strong antibiotics. A lot of people barely have any symptoms at all when its caught this early, usually just muscle and/or joint pain, some fatigue, maybe a fever. My mom actually got bit and caught Lyme somewhat recently and, even tho her immune system is still not 100% from her chemotherapy a few years ago, she completely recovered with only some mild fatigue that went away during treatment. One thing of note is that Lyme’s famous “bull’s eye rash” is not nearly as common as people say it is. You can absolutely still have Lyme disease even if you never developed the distinctive rash. I didn’t, my mom didn’t, and my doctor (who has had Lyme multiple times) has only had it once.

The other ‘version’ of Lyme is way more painful, dangerous, and stubborn. Basically, if your Lyme isn’t caught fast enough, not only can you develop way more symptoms, but it becomes much harder to cure. When I was finally getting diagnosed, I was given this huge like 10 page packet of some of (not all) the symptoms of Lyme disease. It’s very similar to the early days of Covid when it could seemingly cause thousands of different health issues. The most common are still joint and muscle pain, major fatigue, and other flu-like symptoms, but it can also cause sudden hair loss, random numb patches around your spine, burning skin, etc. I had to go to a specific psychologist to get diagnosed with autism, adhd, and ocd because Lyme can mimic adhd lol. Hell, IT GAVE ME OCD! Very crazy stuff. I’ve also heard it can induce way more deadly stuff with certain organs but I won’t go into depth with that here in case anyone has triggers related to that sort of thing.

I’ve gone way further into this than I planned but I think it’s important to put out there because Lyme is really not a well known or understood by both the public OR doctors, in my experience at least. I caught Lyme when I was around 7-ish? I was sick so often throughout elementary and middle school that I’ve been to basically ever doctor in the area and almost every time they said I just had some virus and that was it. It was only during high school, about 8 years later, that I finally went to a doctor (my current one) that even knew enough about Lyme disease to test me. And the only reason he knew was because he’d had it himself! The Lyme was deeply in my central nervous system that it took years of very large, very bad tasting antibiotics to cure. And, as I learned 2(?) years ago now, it’s made a resurgence. And I consider myself lucky because I truly believe if I didn’t get diagnosed for it when I did, I’d be dead by now with how it was attacking my cns

So, yeah, I think it’s important for people to learn at least the basics of Lyme disease just in case because it’s a very annoying and sometimes deadly disease that, at least in my experience, not many doctors actually know anything about

Also fun fact: Ötzi the Iceman, one of the oldest mummies in the world, had Lyme disease!

[wavy-gorl]

did not realize there was a community for this, but this is the internet i should've known

hi i was born with a cleft soft and hard palate, i didn't have a cleft lip or anything else (still tagging this because i wanna reach anyone who understands), my mom told me that i also have the thing where you have a really small chin combined with a cleft palate but i don't remember the name of the condition

i've like literally never been able to talk to anyone else who's had one and i mean my friends all know about it and i love them, but like they don't fully understand bc they haven't experienced it, you know how it is

but uh yeah i've always felt really weird labeling myself as like disabled or anything like that because i've always felt like my cleft palate wasn't enough but honestly my entire life has kinda revolved around it so i feel like i should

here's the part where i'm going to dump in a list all of my super specific experiences in hopes that someone will relate because i am so serious when i say that i've never talked to someone who relates before:

tw: idk medical stuff, ed mentioned (arfid specifically), mildly graphic i guess (just complaining about medical stuff i've had to deal with)

i've had 11 surgeries (feeding tube, adenoids removed, palate repairs, and ear tubes)

i have this sick as fuck second belly button and honestly sometimes i forget that most people only have one and i have to do a double take when i see other people's boring abdomens

i have a list of foods that i cannot eat because they taste like general anesthesia (including but not limited to: whoppers, onion rings, cranberry juice, blue candy hearts, and wintergreen life savers)

i was diagnosed with arfid recently, but i've had it my entire life because i had a feeding tube for the first year of my life and so i just cannot handle most food textures

i have really bad social skills and low self-esteem because i got bullied when i was younger because people couldn't understand me because my voice was really weird, this got better with surgeries but it didn't fix my lack of social skills

I HATED SPEECH THERAPY, like 14 years of it did not make s sounds easier to pronounce

i need hearing aids but i can't get them because i have holes in my ears and extreme drainage, but the holes are good because they allow my ears to drain but the fact that there's drainage is still bad and ahhhhhh

i'm 19 but i still have to go back and forth between the children's hospital and the regular one when it comes to palate stuff and it's honestly annoying sometimes (everyone's nice though so it's fine)

eating is awful because nose stuff i don't want to go into detail but iykyk (don't make me laugh while eating)

i don't have a uvula and when people find out, it's suddenly the most interesting fact they know about me and i don't get it

not even i know my full medical history it is so incredibly complex

i have a collection of my wristbands

the worst fucking thing in the world was the stupid nasal endoscopy, like early covid brain-poking tests were fucking nothing compared to that stupid camera going up my nose

mouth breathing

i have random vocal/breathing tics (i guess tic is the right term?) and they are annoying but yeah

every goddamn time i went to the orthodontist, he would always say every FUCKING TIME "don't let your mom tell you that you have a big mouth because i'm here to tell you otherwise" LIKE I GET IT

when i got my teeth pulled, the laughing gas didn't work because 1.) that shit's so weak and 2.) i had to breathe it in through my nose exclusively (mouth breathing point), but they didn't believe me and went along with the procedure anyway and after experiencing that, hell has nothing on me

my role model growing up was lentil bean, the cleft palate dog

the only piece of media i ever related to was Wonder, but even that one contributed to me feeling like i hadn't gone through enough to consider my cleft palate a big deal

i am a musician (singer and percussionist) but i can't breathe, hear, or speak properly and so i bet you can imagine how hellish that is

i had to quit dance when i was younger because i kept missing entire seasons because of my surgeries (since recovery was like 4 weeks sometimes) and i really wish that i didn't have to

ok yeah that's all i can think of please someone relate to me god please

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

The I feel like she sees me line being said to Eddie who is the person that truly sees Buck for all that he is. Are we supposed to take this line at face value which would indicate piss poor writing because they needed to rush to a horrible ending or do we take it as Buck being an unreliable narrator? What was the audience supposed to interpret from Buck saying that, were we truly supposed to believe him or we supposed to be pissed at Buck for saying this to the one person that truly sees Buck?

Good morning to me, I guess.

I'm assuming you haven't really seen people's reactions in the fandom on tumblr because I feel like I saw this said in quite a few posts going around, but you are absolutely not supposed to take this line at face value. I'm surprised that people think you should. 9-1-1 has from the beginning had a habit of turning friendships into romantic relationships (Bathena and Madney) and taking their time with these things rather than having an instalove situation. Even Karen and Hen, who meet when they're set up on a date together, don't instantly fall in love. I do not think they would set Eddie or Buck up for an endgame relationship with a woman by having them date that woman immediately, even if they didn't plan to make Buddie canon.

Buck is clearly struggling post-death. He's lost and once again looking for the answer from a romantic partner. He did a lot of growth in regards to his family relationships this season but not his romantic ones. Remember, his couch ended up destroyed and he asked his latest girlfriend to pick the new one out for him. Again. He's still not picking his own damn couch. After being unable to sleep on the one his mom gave him but passed out instantly on Eddie's where he ran to feel safe.

If people think this is all, somehow, an accident or the writers are doing this without knowing what they're doing, then I can't help you. Do you also think the symbolism I put into my fanfics are a total accident? Do you guys think I picked the name of the poem "Fuchsia Emerald Alizarin Rose" just because the colors are fun and they accidentally spell out F.E.A.R. or do you think maybe I did that absolutely 100% on purpose and was waiting for someone to realize?

Buck saying that to Eddie is 100% supposed to make the audience raise their eyebrows. Especially when we see Eddie's reaction. He's confused and he's hurt and he's annoyed. Eddie then spends his next few lines showing Buck (and us) that he sees Buck. Buck misses it, it goes right over his head, but the audience is shown that Buck is wrong and Eddie sees him.

I think there was a lot of internal stuff going on behind the scenes way high up the ladder that meant Buddie didn't happen this season. No, I don't mean that in a tinhatting way, I just mean that they knew Fox wouldn't renew them, they didn't know if they'd get picked up somewhere else, Fox hasn't promoted or cared about this show the way it has its other shows in a while, and I think it's pretty clear there was shuffling and changes going on with 6B. So I think things had to be put off. Similar to the pandemic, where I genuinely wonder what kind of season four we would've gotten if we'd had the full 18 episodes and hadn't had to work around Covid. I think that when we know there was a big shift going on behind the scenes, we need to have some grace and patience in how that will effect the story that's told on screen.

But I think that this default to "everything good we see on our screens is an accident and the writers are making shitty choices" is a horrible bad faith argument, and it's exhausting. Aren't you exhausted? I'm exhausted. Fandom shouldn't treat the writing and production team like their enemies any more than the writing and production team should treat the fans like their enemies in some kind of war they have to win (looking at you, GoT showrunners).

We are supposed to be annoyed that Buck is missing the point. We are supposed to see Buck's yearning to be a husband and a father, and how he's missing what's right in front of him. We are supposed to put two and two together and see that Eddie was hurt by Buck's words, that Eddie sees Buck, that Eddie is Buck's safe place, and that Eddie in that moment decided he might not have a chance with Buck and needs to move on, because previously we saw Eddie admit he wants romance again but he doesn't want to go out on dates, we saw his aunt say she met her husband through work, we saw him say 'we have time' and then we saw him immediately after Buck tells him about this new girl who "sees him" flee to visit his mother and then immediately actually try dating. On a meta level this is also because Eddie needs confidence in himself as a romantic partner and needs some more experience under his belt before he's ready to take the plunge with Buck, but in Eddie's mind, I think it's pretty clear he feels Buck will never want him back and he's trying to find the love he wants somewhere else, even if his heart is still Buck's.

So that's what I think. I think it's not explicitly spelled out for a few reasons, but frankly if one of them was a woman we wouldn't need it explicitly spelled out and personally I kinda like that it's not. Something that annoys me with M/F pairings is the constant "we all know you two like each other" talks from third parties that half the time aren't about the characters but are about the audience, to either tell the audience SEE THEY LIKE EACH OTHER THAT'S WHAT THIS IS ABOUT or to give the audience some fanservice while the characters aren't ready to get together. I don't need to be pandered to that way, thank you, so I'm a fan of the slightly more subtle approach that I, personally, see going on with Buddie.

If you or anyone else disagrees with me and feels it was just "piss poor writing" then that's entirely your right. I'd just appreciate it if people who feel that way would stop watching the show, and stop putting their complaints into the inboxes of people who clearly do enjoy the show.

TL;DR - You answered your own question, Buck is an unreliable narrator (and always has been) and we are supposed to be frustrated he said this to Eddie who has proven time and again (and does so in that very scene) that he sees Buck.

[feminist-minimalist]

Psychiatric Wards & Hospitals, My Experiences

I've been diagnosed with PTSD, depression, a few other things that seem to have been merged into these diagnoses after further context and I've had some odd experiences as psych patient.

First, let me say this: sometimes, they *can* help. They *can* be a way to decompress and stabilize. Everybody's experience is different as is everybody's mental health team and psych ward/hospital rules. This serves as a disclaimer to say that I am not a licensed mental health professional.

That said, I have to say, they are not the best and have served me more bad than good. Let me explain.

The first time, I called the cops on myself. I was angry and distraught that I had tried to seek him out for support because I was feeling really suicidal and depressed about my time with a hostile and toxic work environment. Even though I left, I still felt the effects. The cop was professional, caring, and receptive, to be fair. But..also, a Jordan Peterson follower. So....eh. Not great, but not terrible. I kind of just tuned out. I had a chef's knife to my chest, but called the cops before I took irreversible action. I still can remember how sharp it was, with the tip brushing up against me but also how annoyed I was that I didn't think I could press down hard enough.

So, the hospital. Honestly? I had a mixed experience, but in some ways, kind of was really...all right. I called the cops on myself to get help, and I really did feel connected to the patients there. Food was fucking amazing. I slept a little better. Had some meds. The only bad parts? An annoying conspiracy theorist for COVID as well as a misogynist, and a few other people that I just...honestly felt sorry for but still were these angry balls of addiction. They calmed down after awhile and though they were still struggling, were ok conversationalists. The only bad part? One of the employees there kept saying "he's still your dad", which didn't help though it was meant in a loving way and I took it in the spirit they were implying. Still was invalidating though. The experience after coming home sucked. I was going through it with a bad landlady. I got her fired though. Still sucked to go through.

Next! So the next hospital. Really not great. It was an inpatient/outpatient facility and they knew me on an outpatient basis. Or I thought they did. I never felt respected by them as an abuse survivor. While I did CBT shit, they kept trying to diagnose me with something that was obviously untrue. Doesn't matter what it was now though since I ceased services and really made it clear I wasn't happy with them. This was in Florida during COVID. So. Yeah. That caused some problems considering I was definitely one of those "mask up and vaccinate" types and everyone else really wasn't. It literally caused so much stress with their neglectful attitude towards my very real complaints and concerns that it brought up this trauma from BEFORE Urissa. I had body memories of my Uncle Scott tackling me out of nowhere when I was a toddler. Big drunk guy who was a careless idiot. There were witnesses but I never went to the hospital and no charges were filed even though I was crawling around. I barely could stand after he tackled me. We weren't playing football and I wasn't interested in sports. So...yeah. Anyway.

That was probably the most directly damaging one. The way they framed me was acting out. But I had been repressing this shit FOR YEARS and unsafe people and places were essentially a "get over it" thing for the people I went to for help. They also misdiagnosed me. I had to argue with them to change it. It sucked. I got blamed for things that weren't my fault.

Again though, food was fine. People mostly fine except for some annoying patients and caregivers. But the reasons why I was there was dumb. I felt like I was heightened into a psychotic break *because* caregivers weren't caring. I came back a little better with a new perspective with my trauma finally jostled, but I was gobsmacked by the mistreatment there and at UNF. Wasn't suicidal on admittance, but definitely was in a position to have a full blown PTSD flashback, turned psychotic break. I was there to get permission for a medical withdrawal, which turned out to um...not be needed. Also, UNF campus security was attempting to silence and dismiss my issues. They did that.

Next!

Moved to a different state. Felt the walls closing in after I failed my truck driving skills test and didn't have a plan to return to uni (back at uni now of course though). Confronted poor family support, financial support cut off. Emotional support always nonexistent. So. Here's the thing with that. I had tried to kill myself by starving myself and not drinking water. I went to Lovelace and they said "eh" and threw me out. I tried again. I went to my uni hospital. They checked me out. Did find my vitals to be off and a thyroid problem. Gave me fluids. Sent me to psych hospital. Guess what happened? They turned me away when I called them out on giving me an inappropriate medication! They basically told me "yes, I think you need help, but no inpatient.

Hmmmmmmmmmmm. I still don't know how to feel about that. I mean. I'm glad I could have my sleep apnea device at home. I'm glad I got some food (still dealing with food insecurity due to being a student and not eligible for food stamps). I'm glad I could masterbate in the privacy of my own home. But still. Food good. I felt really bad. And I was hoping for three square meals til I felt better after my suicide attempt since I had no money, but I had Medicaid!

Anyway, I think the takeaway here is that, yes, in some cases, they can help. But all I can think about are the injustices and annoyances of some of them. I'll say this much. I wasn't comfortable as a sexual assault and rape survivor forced to spend time around other people with no fucking privacy. Other people definitely exposed themselves on purpose and seemed to kind of prod me over that fact. It was deeply violating. Fuck you that One Florida Mental Hospital.

Now there was one time where I went to a psych ward just to get away from Urissa. And I really was having a major dissociative moment where I was like "what the fuck is this chick doing"?!! And that really was just a floor. No privacy. No bed. Just a fucking chair with a table like in a school. Now. I will say this. I loved being away from Urissa. I loved being able to sleep (albeit in a chair like Grandpa Simpson). The burgers and fries for food was good. Really good. But I still was just...not having any space for myself. The caregivers were overworked. But I got some time to decompress from my abusive rapist.

And that's that.

No. You are unlikely to be 100 percent comfortable and unbothered in a psych ward. I wasn't allowed electronics in any of the places I went to, which made it worse, or have any space for myself. I hated not being able to masturbate. But I never just fucking jacked it in the open like some of the other patients I was with. Sometimes you'll deal with people that will not help you get better. The only reason why I'm saying that wellllllll yes, they can be helpful is that if you are someone that has always kind of self-parented, was neglected, but still figured it out, you'll have a space to ponder without those family members that don't help and no school or work to work through it on your own. With That One Florida Mental Hospital, I literally had a psychotic break to help me through it. I've never had psychosis before or after. It was literally just my brain going "LISTEN TO ME, YOU ARE TRAUMATIZED WORK THROUGH IT!!!!" But the fact that they just kind of diagnosed that instead of straight PTSD always irks me.

Also, if you are obese and short, good fucking luck if you went in involuntarily without allowable clothes on the floor. Because when I went in, the scrubs kept breaking and actually exposed me involuntarily and that's not great for people who have been sexually abused and raped.

They really are a mixed bag. And if you wanna get better, you really have to advocate for yourself and make good faith attempts to plead your case if you are unheard.

Good luck with them! You deserve a therapeutic relationship with your caregivers and to be heard on your concerns!

[anghraine]

I wonder if you can guide me on whether I should pursue Linguistics or Literature for my MA since you already are working on your PhD in Literary Studies? It's my dream to major in Literary Criticism and I believe I can always get another MA in Linguistics, but for now I don't want to waste my time and power on something that might not be so useful in the future. How has your experience been with Literary Studies? Would you advice a fellow academic to pursue it?

Hmm, I would always suggest getting advice from an actual advisor or committee chair if you have one. However, here is what advice I can give, with the caveat that I am a random stranger on the Internet who doesn't know you.

First: broadly speaking, if you're really sure about what your ultimate goal is, you're probably best served by doing the things directly related to that goal if it doesn't make much of a difference to you otherwise. I suspect that an MA in English literature will do more to help you get into a PhD program in English literature than a degree in linguistics.

That said, the fields are related enough that if there would be no difference with regard to GPA, what recommendations you can get, and (most importantly) your writing sample, it may not matter that much in the long run, unless you envision your PhD literary work as particularly involved in linguistics (sometimes this is the case).

But the work you do in an MA in literature is probably going to be more geared towards preparing you for further work in literature than one in linguistics. If one subject is generally easier for you to get high grades in or if you tend to have better relationships with instructors in one of the fields, that may be the best for PhD acceptance purposes.

Another concern that people sometimes don't want to talk about, or alternately are very annoying about: the current state of the job market in literary studies is dire in a lot of places (certainly in the USA, where I live). It was bad before COVID and is worse now. Exactly how dire the situation is depends on your specialization, but it's pretty bad all around.

I honestly don't know what the job market for linguists looks like, especially since there are a lot of different professions within the field (a high school friend of mine with a linguistics degree ended up in speech pathology and says it's much easier to find work in that field). I did use linguistics for technical writing credit, but that was years ago and I just don't know what opportunities look like now, pragmatically speaking. Possibly the outlook is better than in literary studies, and if so, a graduate linguistics degree might be more helpful if you don't get into a literature PhD program or do get the degree but don't get hired in academia afterwards.

OTOH, there are a lot of things you can do with an MA or PhD in English outside of academia (and those things are usually more profitable because of the defunding of the arts etc etc). Some jobs simply want the degree and don't care much what it's in, for instance.

Some do care, but are actually looking for people with English degrees. A friend of mine once got a very good job in Seattle because he had an English degree in addition to his computer science degree and they wanted someone with that kind of background to work on an online dictionary.

A friend from my grad school cohort used his literature MA to get a job in technical writing, so there's that. A graduate degree in English can help if you want to go into editing or publishing (maybe even law), though there are major issues in publishing as well. If you're interested in creative writing as well as literature, getting into a terminal creative writing degree program such as an MFA or PhD is sometimes helped by having a related MA already.

As for my experience in getting a PhD in literature, it has been very mixed. Sometimes it's fantastic, because you're in an environment that can be very intellectually nourishing, for lack of a better phrase. How actually supportive it is varies a lot (I have been lucky in that respect, but I know people whose programs had a lot of ambitious, cutthroat people and for whom it was miserable). It can be very nice and very helpful to be around people who care about the same general thing as you and who appreciate its value even if it's not their specific area of study. It's super cool to have full on tenured professors be like "oh, that's a bit outside my area, but it's an interesting question and Elizabeth would probably know more" or just straight-up have me take over teaching a class while they dealt with a crisis outside the classroom.

People outside academia (and some parts of fandom) have tended to find me deeply boring, and because I'm autistic, it's always a struggle not to just go on flat monologues about my fixations. I constantly had to remind myself that nobody around me was actually interested or wanted to hear about this kind of thing. But during both my MA and PhD, it was just different. Since all my local friends were in the program, I didn't have to worry nearly as much that people wouldn't know what I was talking about or would find it intrinsically dull, and we'd just sit around a table chattering about this stuff.

That said, this being a constant, inescapable aspect of your life with a lot of pressure and obligations and expectations and so forth—and just the sheer amount of reading you have to do—can start to suck the joy out of it, and this can be a major problem if it's one of your major sources of joy in the first place. I mean, there isn't much reason to do it if it isn't. But I have hardly read any fiction outside of my academic interests for years because the idea of reading any more just feels exhausting.

I don't read fanfic at this point, not because I think there is any intrinsic qualitative distinction between original and fanfic, but because my mind is so wrung out that I usually don't read stories of any kind unless it's part of research. Some of my friends who got degrees in literature experienced the same thing and gradually found joy in literature again once they were free of grad school bullshit, so this isn't a permanent rupture necessarily, just something to consider.

Then there's teaching, too, and the messy composition-literature dynamic, and frankly, as a whole, it's been really bad for my mental health, especially my mood swings. But a lot of that has to do with the culture around grad school and academia in general, not literature specifically (I think it would be worse if it were any other field, actually, except maybe creative writing). So it's worth bearing that possibility in mind, but not a certainty, either.

I know this is a lot! Basically, it depends on a whole ton of factors, and I can't give you an exact answer. But these are the kinds of things I would consider.

[probablydinosaurs]

this was originally a twitter thread but mehhhh. the audience of one-two here get my insane venting instead. its 3am. I've had a rough day and I just want to list it out from worst to least worst. sorry if this is venting. again 3am. 1: my sister showed up completely unannounced, and waltzed in a fight with my other sister and her husband at their place. she had good reason to be here (she's homeless and is a fuckin ice age here. that's not a problem. we are glad she went to us for help.)-sadly she's an entitled fuck who begged my dad for cigs when we have NOTHING BUT A ROOF to give. its SCARY how poor we are. She was also VERY TRANSPHOBIC, which was not on my sister's bingo card this year. mainly about trans woman and their "complaining". my already shit sister saying terf shit was not smth i thought id hear. i was very upset about that. i haven't talked to her bc ik if i do, il cry but I've been giving her the silent treatment unless it's akward. 2: i have covid. had symptoms since like the 13th (i joked that i got it for my birthday) and its been a nightmare. i can't sleep. Eating sucks. my nose hurts. i think i blew a blood vessel in my eye. its just been the worst. 3: due to being unable to sleep, im wildly manic at 3am. i have nothing to do and no one to talk to. and im unreasonably upset that people on tiktok think Spongebob is a kid. like boi your face screams "post movie" pleaaasseee educate yourself on cartoon history. he is an adult! 4: after ALLL of this like 7 mins ago, the fire alarm randomly beeped a few times. luckily not a lot but still. stressed me the FUCK OUT. nothing is on. i think bc its the FUCKIN ICE AGE OUTSIDE, the apartment is a TAD too warm (witch its not. my feet are frozen)

5: found out today that scientists didn't start using real menstrual blood on pads/tampons till AUGUST OF LAST YEAR??? WTF WERE U USING BEFORE? That's why pads are always off SOMEHOW. SOMEHOW there's an issue. and tampons never fit right. they have been fuckin guessin for decades 6: my new cat is a needy hoe. I'm used to it but with covid and barely being able to walk/exist, her sweving between my legs is a nightmare. I always have to throw a bottle cap down the hallway just so she doesn't get in my room. 7: been on upsetting media tiktok. why the fuck is there a fandom forming around a vent cartoon about S/A???? like I won't say its bad but that's not a FANDOM THING! yall are fucked up (also it parodies the peewee's playhouse op and that bugs me. i love peewee.)

interlude: my needy hoe of a cat is named peewee (well to my mom, it's now Princess Pipsqueak but thats not a good name to say in frustration as I'm trying to exist down the hallway. also, we thought she was a boi at first and she has a face that looks like paul Reubens's. I still see it. 8: I have used up all the TP and tissues in the house and have been using paper towels to blow my nose, which is roughing up my already red sore nose. I put gold bond on my nose and it BURNED but now it feels smoother. 9: i feel like i annoy people with my Hannibal hyperfixation. i have yet to truly let it spread here but it's EVERYWHERE ELSE. (and il probs reblog this onto my hannibal blog so hiiiii) and yet it feels like no one cares. ik it's a bit niche, upsetting not everyones thing but Ive NEVER loved smth more and it hurts when i don't talk about it I just. want to get someone into it. someone else got me into it and it means a lot. I hope they are doing ok. I'm grateful they gave me my favorite hyperfixation ever. I've littrally never loved anything more. and I've been into a LOT of stuff. i was called annoying by an ex friend because i got into things too much. and to them, "too much" was anything that wasn't "i like this thing. i think this thing is good and cool. lets rp weird incest about it." (i hate my teen years) but like. that ex friend would HAAAAATE by hyperfixatiing now. i have friends to ENABLE ME NOW. 10: just added this one. kinda put two and two together that corp vtubers birthdays most likely aren't their real birthdays. everyone is celebrating a graduated corps bday and yet they moved to another company and like. no birthday in sight. and it feels weird to latch onto their old persona's bday when they are right there with probs a new (and more real maybe) birthday. you can actually go celebrate with them whenever their "new" birthday is and yet you are clinging to the past. especially since they are THRIVING where they are rn and were not happy as a bigger corp.

thats a bout it. thanks if u saw this and read. its ok if you didnt. i just had a LOT go on lately.

[69-toojay]

Back when I binged glee in covid I used to bother my then friend, now ex about all my glee opinions and stuff and we somehow made this running joke that sebastian was a brown boy because why else would someone have so little chill about a school extracurricular right?

It started as a joke, and it's little more than crack even now but the thought of a biracial seb (sebu as we called him) is still funny and it endeared him to me. Through him we'd go on to make fantastical stories about the universe in which he was half brown. I don't know if I need to mention I'm brown too but yeah

The lore went as follows Sebastian's father Arshad Smythe was a second generation south asian immigrant who studied law in France where he met Mrs. Smythe.

we made him the most run of the mill brown dad imaginable and we loved him so much because of it , he was obviously just based on our fathers and uncles and brothers. The people we loved, who loved us in return, the people whose dad jokes and overbearing old timer antics we rolled our eyes at.

Mr and Mrs Smythe alternated living between France and Ohio, where Mr. Smythes childhood home was. It was a dilapidated suburban duplex complete with ugly beige carpeting. But Mr. Smythe just couldn't bear to part with it so he never sold the house or moved out. He would buy his son the best cars and enroll him in the best schools. He'd spend on everything else but he just couldn't change anything about the house his mother had lived in.

Sebastian and his mother understood. She had been important to them too. Samantha Smythe remembered all the times she sat on the floor of this house so the older woman could rub coconut oil into her hair. Sebastian remembered the spicy pickles she cooked in her kitchen, how good they tasted. So they understood.

Burt Hummel was an old friend of Mr. Smythes. He'd babysit Sebastian every once in a while, Santana too. So Kurt, Sebastian and Santana were all friends that got upto fun shenanigans in this world.

Sebastian had a cat called Maribelle, who scratched and bit everyone except for their trio and Mr. Smythe, she was also a mafia boss and an interdimensional/ divine immortal being who had a life of crime on the weekends. He had found her as a stray and begged his dad to let him keep keep her. He did albeit begrudgingly as all dads do, and then quickly became best friends with her as all dads do. I drew cartoons of Kurt and Sebastian as preteens chilling on beach chairs with sunglasses on, in the front yard of Sebastian's grandma's house. Mr Smythe , a portly gentleman with a half bald head with borders of dark hair lining the sides, wearing thick framed glasses would yell at them about their homework to which they'd reply "It's Sunbathe Saturday, Dad!"

Mr Smythe would then grumble and pick up Maribelle who had been in the process of burying a man, unbeknownst to him.

We had so many really specific just brown people things jokes about Sebastian, like him putting 'manja', a type of liquid glass used in competitive kite racing in South Asia in the rock salt slushie. Just him in general being really excited about sharp drinks after his brown cousin back in his home country show him the ropes.

Him being the kind of typical annoying uncultured highschool boy, ' kamla', who hung around coffee shops all day.

Him challenging his father to a game of cards at age eleven by making Mr. Smythe promise if he won he would have to love him unconditionally. Just as he pulled out the last ace he yelled out 'I'm gay but you love unconditionally no take backs!" And ran up the stairs yelling "no take backs!" As santana and kurt blocked mr smythes entrance to the stairway by popping ill timed party poppers.

If Seb ever got into any scuffles with them during play time he'd fire off a flurry of mixed French and Bengali curse causing Kurtana to exchange confused glances like, did you get any of that ?

His early s3 backstory was literally Mr Smythe being a little bit of a tiger parent. But then when he breaks down because of the Dave thing his dad makes amends saying "I want you to be the best at everything seb, and that includes being a person."

The scandals fix it in this universe was Maribelle scratching Blaines eyes out when she overhears about it from kurt and seb discussing it.

I figured later that Mr Smythe must have taken his wife's name because it's hardly a brown name even in Christian circles, to which my ex had replied you only realised now?

There's really no words in English to properly translate the jokes and their cultural significance to us. Parts of brown seb universe bled into my shitposts and fics but I could never part with him fully. Because the world wasn't ready for or interested in him. Since then I've graduated college, I've lost access to the Instagram account we used to text about this world in, and I've lost my ex and I've lost that time in my life, Brown Seb only exists in my memory now. So now maybe it's time to give him to the world so he exists outside of it too. Idk if there are Desi gleeks out there who get the jokes, but til then this post is just for me to remember