#I’ll be back when I can cope with people places and things

[lowkeyerror]

The Family Business Ch.8

WandaNatxReader

Word Count: 3k

Ch notes: Angst, Nightmares, Fighting

Summary: The family copes with the situation revolving Dragos

An: Sorry for posting so late.... hope you like it. Also posting from my phone, so sorry formatting issues.

Series Masterlist | Masterlist

“ Enough time has passed Wanda. We have to act now before we lose everything,” you speak to the woman in her office.

“I'm not ready for war Y/n,” She tries to dismiss you.

“Detka, I think she’s right. If we wait any longer it could, everything your father built would be over,” Natasha backs you up.

Wanda puts her head down on the desk, "I don't think I can do this.”

“It’s just like we planned, Wanda. Nat and I have everything on standby to close the ports, we’re just waiting on your word,” you speak softly to her.

“Fine, just do it,” she waves her hand, but doesn’t move her face from it’s place on the desk.

She had been like this for nearly two weeks. The shooting of her father seemed to hit her the hardest. She felt like she wasted too much time away from him and now he was gone.

The only way you were functioning was hope that he would wake up. He wasn’t gone, he was just in a coma. People recover from being in comas, they wake up. You just keep telling yourself that Dragos would be waking up soon.

“Wanda, maybe you should go home, I can handle this,” your eyes are full of worry, but your voice is firm.

“I’m capable of running this business Y/n,” she snaps back at you.

“ I know you are, that’s why they put you in charge. However, this is not a one man job Wanda. Dragos had days where he needed someone to take charge. I’m one of those people. Whether he’s sitting in that seat or you’re sitting in that seat, I’m going to continue to be that person. Now go home.”

She looks at you with something you’ve never seen before. It makes your brow furrow. The intensity of her stare isn’t malicious, but it’s unfamiliar to you.

“I’ll take you baby,” Nat offers, taking Wanda’s attention away from you.

Wanda takes one more look at you before agreeing to go with her wife.

“Stop by after work, I don’t care how late it is,” her demand makes you want to gulp, but you hold it and nod.

She’s out of the door first. You share a look with Natasha as you take s seat at the desk.

“I’ll be back, I can have everything ready for tonight,” the spy says.

“Thank you, Natasha.”

She leaves and you get to work immediately. You call in your dealers and suppliers to inform them of potential uptick in all products your pushing to prepare them adequately. You call your supposed allies, you’re vague but they know it’s a threat. More than threat, but a test of loyalty. Some of them dismiss you as you aren’t Dragos, but you’re sure by morning they’ll come around or go out of business.

There had been too much silence on your side of the business. Fisk was parading around the city saying that he killed Dragos. The lack of movement from your side of things only made it seem true.

Wanda had been placed temporarily in charge of the business while Dragos was out of commission. However, she wasn't emotionally prepared for this yet. None of you were in actuality, you all needed more time.

“ Where’s Wanda?” Pietro strolls into the office.

Your eyes are locked on the screen, “ Sent her home.”

“You’re running things today?”

You nod, “We’re going through with the plan to shut down the pier tonight. I put out some feelers, stayed pretty vague. I know they'll get on board when there's no other option.”

“You sound like him,” Pietro chuckles.

“I hope so, I got brushed off by one too many people over the phone. We need to let them know we aren’t weak. We will not be usurped, we are this city and it’s time to remind them.”

Pietro agrees, “My eyes and ears on the street have been telling me about Kingpin He’s telling others he fixed the Maximoff issue. We need to get a handle on this.”

“They will be dealt with and I’ll save Fisk for last. Next time I wont miss when I shoot,” your jaw clenches.

“How are you holding up?” He asks, taking in your appearance.

The bags under your eyes spoke for themselves. You hadn’t been sleeping well, getting 3 hours seems like a blessing some days.

“Not well, but I’ll be alright.”

“You haven’t been sleeping.”

You sigh, “How can I rest well, knowing that the man who has taken someone important from me walks around the streets celebrating it? It’s like he’s taunting me.”

Pietro’s hand lands on your shoulder, “We’re going to get him Y/n, I swear.”

Natasha strolls back into the room, “I’ve got everything set we're just waiting on nightfall.”

“Good, I’m almost done here. I’ve got some paperwork to get through and if it’s not too late, maybe we can carpool?”

Natasha smiles, “I’ll wait for you, it’s no problem.”

“I guess we’ll leave you to it Don Y/n,” Pietro jokes as he pats your shoulder before exiting the office, Natasha’s following behind him.

The paperwork takes longer than expected. You’re exhausted by the end of it, your eyes are strained as you finish the last of it up.

When Natasha comes to check on you , she can tell you’ve dissociated from the work you’re doing. It looks mindless yet stressful at the same time. You don’t even notice she's standing there for another 10 minutes.

“Ok you’re done, lisichka. Time to go home,” Natasha’s voice startles you.

You give her little protest, moving out of the seat. Your bones crack and you let out a yawn as you grab your belongings.

“Wanda’s going to need help tomorrow. The lines should be busy. We can open them up so Kate and I can help filter orders,” you mumble as you leave the office.

“No more work talk, we’re out of the office,” Natasha reminds you.

You let out a tired laugh, “Now you’re sounding like a Maximoff."

“I am married to one,” she says as the two of you get in her car.

“I don't know who's luckier you or her.”

Natasha quirks an eyebrow as she begins to dive, “I’m pretty sure it's me.”

“You’re good for her too; don't discredit yourself. Wanda has always been a caregiver of sorts. She wants to take care of everyone. It's nice to see she has someone who can take care of her,” your eyes begin to close as you speak.

“You’ve taken care of her before. When she was fighting with Pietro, the whole situation with Dragos; you kept her grounded,” Natasha points out.

You shrug lightly, “I couldn't when I was younger.”

Natasha glances at your nearly sleeping figure, “You were just a child, lisichka.”

“I was fragile, she needed someone strong,” you feel sleep overtaking you.

Natasha goes to respond, but hears you snoring softly, “I don't think you could've ever been fragile.”

The spy doesn't wake you when you arrive at the condo. Instead she carefully removes you from the car and carries you up to her door. She rings the bell unable to get her keys while holding you.

When Wanda opens the door her eyes soften at the sight of you asleep in her wife’s arm.

“I didn't want to wake her. I overheard her telling Pietro she hasn't been sleeping,” Nat explains to her wife.

“Just lay her in our bed,” Wanda says, and Natasha complies.

Wanda heads to the kitchen, unable to sleep. She stays to make herself some tea.

“She cares about you a lot,” Natasha says meeting her wife in the kitchen.

Wanda just hums a response.

“You care about her a lot too,” Natasha looks to meet her wife’s gaze.

“Astute observation, sweetheart,” Wanda responds dryly.

Natasha steps into Wanda’s personal space, “You know what I’m insinuating then?”

Wanda finally looks at her wife, “No I don’t.”

“I think you're in love with her,” Natasha is gentle when she speaks.

Wanda laughs, “What are you talking about? Y/n is a part of my family. I’ve cared for her for years; healed her wounds, held her when she cried, taught her how to defend herself. Natasha, she was barley turning 17 when I met her.”

“I see the way you look at her Wanda. It’s the same way you look at me,” her tone doesn’t convey anger or sorrow.

Wanda’s laughter has yet to die down, “She’s my little brother’s best friend.”

“Then tell me why she can ground you the same way I can? Her touch calms you, her look quiets you, and her figure causes your eyes to drift. Just be honest with me Wanda.”

“Look, I love Y/n. I would do anything to keep her safe, but there’s nothing between us romantically,” Wanda gets serious for the first time in the conversation.

Natasha rolls her eyes, “You lost your mind about something from 5 years ago involving her, you were in tears when you couldn't attend her graduation, you talked about her more than your brother, mother, and father.”

Wanda’s eyes shift for a second, it’s the only sign Natasha needs. Her hand reach for her wife’s. Her thumbs pad the back of Wanda’s hand.

“Baby-”

“Natasha I can’t. I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” she tries to escape but Natasha won’t let her.

“Talk to me, detka.”

For a moment it seems like Wanda is going to talk it out with her wife. However a commotion in their bedroom puts brakes to the conversation.

They both rush in that direction. In the bedroom they find you fighting in your sleep. You’re thrashing, punching, and screaming.

Wanda’s eyes go wide at the sight. The distress on your face send her into fight or flight. She wants to help, but she’s unaware of what to do.

Natasha on the other hand has had her fair share of life like nightmares. She knows how delicate of a situation that they can be.

“Easy lisichka, it’s not real,” Natasha’s voice is firm as she speaks, slowly inching towards you.

Natasha’s hand slowly reaches for your forearm. The action cause you to jerk, but Natasha is unflinching. Her hands trailing up and down your arm trying to calm you.

“Baby you’re safe here,” Natasha slips her fingers between yours.

It’s sudden the way you jolt forward into consciousness. Natasha’s arms wrap around you securely as your chest heaves up and down.

Wanda joins your side, hand running through your hair, “It’s ok, you’re ok. You’re safe little krolik.”

You sniffle a couple of times. Before realizing the position you're in. You sit in a bed that you can only assume belongs to the two women, that are slowing your erratic heart rate.

“I uh- I fell asleep in the car,” you say pushing the women away from you slightly.

You wipe the sweat from your forehead and then rub at your eyes roughly. The feeling of embarrassment starts to creep in on you.

“ You did, exhausted from all that work and no sleep,” Natasha says.

You nod lightly, “As you can see I have a hard time with sleeping.”

“It’s like that every night?” Wanda’s voice was laced with concern.

You try to laugh it off, “I get by with the little sleep I get before the nightmares.”

“Y/n, we’re being serious,” Wanda’s use of your actual name startles you a bit.

You take a deep breath, “Nearly every night since the shooting. But I’m a big girl guys, I’ve got it under control.”

“Wanda’s been having trouble sleeping too. If I leave just for a second, she starts panicking pretty bad,” Natasha mentions, causing her wife to glare at her.

Wanda crosses her arms over her chest defensively and that’s how you know Natasha is telling the truth.

“I’ve been trying to run a company and a business. There’s no time for a comfortable rest.”

It was your turn to give a stern look, “You won’t be able to lead well if all your senses are weakened from lack of sleep.”

“And how much sleep did you get last night before so graciously kicking me out of the office today?” She counters and your face heats up.

“It's not like I don't want to sleep. I’ve tried a bunch of shit, but nothing is enough for the nightmares. It’s triggering, you know because not only are the nightmares themselves intense, but having them in the first place reminds me the ones I used to have about my family.”

Though you've arguably been vulnerable with both of these women before, it feels harder this time. It feels like they are seeing a piece of you that is supposed to be neatly tucked away. Yet you’re too tired to hide it and you trust them not to use it against you.

“If you’re comfortable with it, I know something that might help,” Natasha offers.

“I’m willing to try anything,” you give her your full attention.

“Stay here with us tonight,” her eyes pierce through yours.

“Here as in…”

“The bed, yes,” Natasha elaborates.

Almost reflexively you look to Wanda to find her staring at her wife. The look isn’t entirely inviting and you take note of that.

You look directly towards Wanda as you speak, “I don't want to impose or be anymore of an inconvenience than I already have. I can actually just go home and try again.”

You attempt to get out of bed, but Wanda places a hand on your chest, keeping you down, “Y/n, you will never be an inconvenience to me. I don't want to keep you here if you’re uncomfortable, but if Nat thinks this could help you then I think it’s worth a shot.”

Your skin is hot under her hand, and you hope she can’t feel the way your heart is beating. It truly shouldn’t feel like such a big deal, you’ve laid with Wanda before . You knew what it was like to have her arms tightly secured around you while she played with your hair until your nerves died. Something about it felt more innocent then.

Now that you were both adults and Wanda was married, it almost seemed like crossing a line.

“What if this works?” You say looking between the couple. They share a quick look at each other before fixing their eyes on you.

“ We’ll cross that bridge when we get there lisichka. We should all get some rest, tomorrow will be very hectic for everyone,” Natasha again reassures you.

“ Do you want something more comfortable to sleep in?” Wanda says, as she pinches the fabric of your work shirt.

You nod lightly and not even a second later Natasha is shoving some pajamas in your hand. She points you to the direction on the restroom and you go leaving the two redheads alone for a moment.

“Natalia,” Wanda’s voice is low and cold as she speaks to her wife.

Natasha shrugs, “What was I supposed to do, Wanda? Did you see the poor girl?”

“You did this to prove a point,” Wanda keeps her voice down with much effort.

“I think you’re doing that all on your own. This is simply helping a friend out. It’s not like you haven’t shared bed with her before,” Natasha shoots back.

“T-this is different,” she stumbles over her words.

“Why?” Natasha raises an eyebrow at her wife.

“Can we drop this please?” Wanda looks away.

Her wife reaches to caress her face, “Detka, we can drop it for now but sooner or later we’re going to have to talk about your feelings.”

Wanda draws in a large breath . She focuses on the way Natasha’s thumb cascades across her cheek.

She looks at her wife, “I love you. More than anything Natalia. I would never put you through anything that I think would hurt us. This to me is the most important everything .”

“I’m not doubting that baby. I’m not asking you this question to make you pick between the two, I just want some clarity,” Natasha kisses Wanda briefly after speaking.

Before Wanda can speak again you’re back in the room. You stand awkwardly as the couple behind you to the bed.

“So, how does this work? Do you want me on the edge or in the middle or..?”

“We’re following your lead little krolik."

Alarms go off in your brain but the aren't loud enough in your sleep deprived state. You take your place at the edge of the bed, closest to Wanda.

You try your best to keep your arms stiffly to yourself. There isn't any chance that you'd willingly embarrass yourself further.

It would be so easy to put your arm around her waist. The more you think the less sleep you get.

Wanda can sense the tense state of your body. Natasha words echo in her mind and it causes her to hesitate. Usually she would’ve already taken initiative to make sure you were comfortable. However here she was, scared that the feeling of your arms around her would send her into an overload.

“Can I- ” your sentence is aided by the action of your hand coming to rest respectfully on her stomach.

Wanda doesn’t speak but her hand lands gently over yours, keeping it in place. You relax at the action and unintentionally pull the woman closer to you. Her back is flush against your front as soft snores fall from your lips. You fall asleep instantly.

She doesn't want to admit it, but being this close to you makes her heart thunder in her chest. She feels warm in your hold. It’s a new feeling.

Being held by you is different than holding you herself. Her free hand reaches out for her wife. Natasha scoots closer, to be face to face with Wanda. Her hand interlaces itself with Wanda’s.

Natasha kisses the back of Wanda’s hand, “I love you.”

“Love you more,” Wanda whispers as her eyes flutter shut.

The three women lay together. For once their minds are quiet as they sleep. It’s peaceful, something that they can revel in before the storm of the morning disrupts their peace.

Taglist: @natashaswife4125 @autorasexy @alexawynters @blkmxrvel @toouncreativeforausername @likemick @sgm616 @bstvst @dorabledewdroop @sapphic-simp4015 @natty-taffy @justarandomreaderxoxo @mmmmokdok

[multifariousqueer]

Heyyyyy sorry this is my first time Requesting but can you do a earth 42 miles x reader where the reader has to go on vacation and he’s not happy.🤭🤭🤭

If not that’s ok and you can add your own little twist on it. Ty❤️❤️❤️

Yeah ofc!

A/n: keep requesting fics!!!! I’m sorry this one is so short y’all, I literally wrote it being half-awake

Warnings: possessiveness, miles being sweet, nothing else

Your parent’s had saved up enough money to go to Belize for your 16th birthday and you were ecstatic. The gorgeous views, the crystal clear oceans and the beautiful sunsets were just some of the things you were excited for, but Miles wasn’t as excited:

“You’re leaving me for 2 weeks? What am I supposed to do without you?” He questioned

“Well I guess you’ll just have to cope” you smirked

“What if some Cabrón tries to take you from me?” he said

“No Cabrón will try to take me away from you, Miles. I love you and it will always be you, okay?” You said reassuringly, touching his forehead with your own

“Si Mami, tu eres mio y solo mio” he spoke

You kissed your boyfriend on his temple and went back to packing your bags, all the while, he was lovingly admiring your movements. He decided to help you after a while and asked you some questions:

“you got your ring?"

“Yes, Miles"

“The Jordan’s I got you?” he interrogated

“Miles, it’s gonna be 95 degrees outside” You pleaded

“And?” he said

“and, I am not gonna wear them. Plus, we’re going out to dinner and Jordans aren’t exactly “dinner friendly”.” you said

“dinner friendly my ass, Mami; you’re mine and that counts for when you’re on vacation” Miles said, walking towards you

“I know Papi, I know. I’m yours even on vacation; okay?” you reassured

“okay. Let me know if you need some money or anything.” he said

“Okay, mi amor” you smiled

Sooner or later you arrived at the airport and were on your way to the terminal when you saw Miles waiting for you:

“what are you doing here?” you questioned

He pulled you in for a hug and placed a soft kiss on your lips

“I’m gonna miss you too, babe” you said with a smirk

“if something happens out there, call me.” he said

“of course, Papi. I’ll call you every night.” you spoke

And with that, you were off to your trip. It was beautiful and you got to see so many nice sights, meet new people and try new foods. It was the most fun you have had in a long time; it took your mind off of the grim, dull life of the city but you missed Miles more than anything in the universe so you decided to call.

“Miles, baby?” you asked

“Yeah, ma I’m here. You good?” he asked

“Yeah. I miss you so much. But its fun over here! I know you would love it.” you said

“Yeah well. I love wherever you are, Mami.” Miles spoke

“Awww you’re so sweet. How is it going over there?” you asked

“It’s going, that’s for sure.” he said, sarcastically

“Why? What’s wrong?” you asked

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll tell you later” Miles said

“Oh okay!! I’ll see you in two days.” you spoke excitedly

“Okay, I love you hermosa.” He said

“I love you too! Bye.” you said as you departed

The last two days went by in a flash and before you knew it, you were home. You visited Miles before you went back to your house and he nearly jumped you when you walked in the door:

“I missed you, ma” he said in your hair

“I missed you too.” you confessed, breathing in his intoxicating scent that you missed dearly

“So did some asshole try to hit on my girl?” Miles questioned

“No baby, no. What happened while I was gone?” you questioned back

“Just some business stuff” Miles said, reassuringly

You kissed the man you loved dearly and he lifted you princess style and took you to the bed where you slept like a baby, after being home and being with the man you missed terribly.

[jennifer-jeong]

[Fluff + Mild Angst] [JJK Men x Reader] What Made Them Fall For You?

Itadori Yuji, Fushiguro Megumi, Gojo Satoru

SUMMARY Headcanons on what makes the JJK pookies fall for you <3

CONTENT NOT SPOILER FREE (includes manga and anime spoilers), fluff, gender neutral reader, men falling for reader, reader is a sorcerer, CHARACTERS ARE 18+

AUTHOUR NOTES

YOU ALREADY KNOW WHAT TIME IT ISSS Yes I’m back with this prompt because I love it so much and it basically summarizes my little daydream storylines I have in my mind about each character. Also note that I’m not caught up on the manga (but I do know all the spoilers hehe) so I apologize if any of this is inaccurate! (Yes I believe Gojo’s coming back so please pretend like the angst in his part isn’t alluding to his death being permanent. His body was successfully recovered and I’m coping with that fact)

ITADORI YUJI

I think Yuji would start to fall for you because when you first learned about Sukuna and Yuji being his vessel, you swore right then and there that you’d beat Sukuna’s ass and save Yuji. He was shocked at first because while that is the plan, no one had ever said it out loud to him like you did, and no one specifically ever said “I’ll save you.” He didn’t take it in a romantic sense but ever since you said it, he’s been getting closer and closer with you. You two always have a great time together and Sukuna never fails to make Yuji flustered by popping out and saying some random vulgar or violent jumble of words.

Yuji enjoys the lightheartedness you bring into his life, it’s refreshing like a spring breeze. It’s been much needed in his life recently and he appreciates your unplanned but good timing. He doesn’t like to worry people with his emotions because he’s such a genuine ray of sunshine. But, he will tell you about them when he finally breaks from time to time because he knows you’ll coax it out of him anyways. He tells you about his childhood and his grandpa and it breaks your heart that he sounds so content with his simple life despite barely having anyone close to him. You tell him that he’s so loved by everyone around him and he thanks you. It’s just that his death is constantly looming over his head and he has no idea what’s in store for him or his new loved ones. He wants to save everyone so badly and sometimes forgets about himself. That’s why he’ll never forget your promise to save him. He trusts that if he loses himself in some sort of sacrifice, that you’ll somehow rescue him. And that’s also why he’ll never break his silent promise to protect you for as long as he lives.

FUSHIGURO MEGUMI

I think Megumi would start to fall for you because of the care you put into everything you do, especially in how you treat others. You never fail to notice and treat your allies' wounds, even when they’re convincingly pretending like they’re fine. You always prioritize civilians during missions. You haven’t missed how his shikigami all have different personalities and different places they like to be pet. And you never miss it if Megumi’s feeling upset, you can somehow just tell by looking at him, even when others think he just looks mad like usual. Megumi knows your care for the little things is just how you express your desire to help others. The two of you mirror each other in that way. Megumi is the epitome of sacrificing oneself to protect their allies and it makes him smile when you mention that to him because he knows you’re exactly like him in that sense.

Megumi feels so relaxed around you because you just seem to understand him without needing him to explain. He’s gotten used to bottling everything up since he was young. He’s been forced to be an adult since he was a kid, understanding things that children shouldn’t even know about. It’s made his life feel cold, devoid of the warmth a child typically receives in their youth. He’s felt betrayed by all parental figures, his dad, his mom, and his step-mom. Even though Satoru tried his best and Megumi appreciates him, he couldn’t fully repair what he didn’t break. Megumi only really had his sister Tsumiki, but now even she’s unreachable and cursed. His life has warmed up slightly as he’s got found family now, but it’s really only you that makes the burning sun shine like it should in his life. As a sorcerer, he’s always worried that more lives will be taken from around him, especially yours. But he likes to joke and think that with the two of you constantly sacrificing yourselves for the other and getting stronger, you might just be okay.

GOJO SATORU

I think Satoru would start to fall for you because you don’t treat him like “the strongest,” you treat him like he’s human, like he’s just Satoru. Satoru has always faked a smile and you’ve always been able to figure him out. He’s been through so much and always struggled to make meaningful connections because of his powers. His family putting immense pressure on him as a child definitely didn’t help his emotional state either. He’s been so lonely his whole life and just as he starts to create a found family with his friends, he loses them. He doesn’t know what to do other than smile to make sure that those that are still alive don’t worry about him. But you see straight through him, you always have, and it comforts him. You’re the same age as him so you’ve been through it all with him since he started at jujutsu high. He started to fall for you at the start because even before all the additional trauma, you already wiggled your way past his emotional walls. He was always clearly too excited to see his friends, had so much love to give, and hated being alone. You thought it was obvious that he was hiding something and you approached him, asking if he was ok and if he wanted to talk about it. At first, he just laughed it off but as the months passed and your friendship grew, the more and more comfortable he was with telling you about his struggles.

Even now, you’re the only person he confides in about everything. You’ve always helped him back onto his feet after the world knocks him down. He might be the strongest sorcerer in the world, or maybe ever. But in his world, he’s never actually been stronger than you, you’re always the one helping him up anyways. He loves that you don’t treat him like most do. You’ve never catered to him or let up on lecturing him just because he’s strong. Additionally, you also never failed to make sure he felt loved, because you always knew that he was still just a kid on the inside that was forced to grow up too fast. Satoru fell for you willingly but has held off on confessing to you because he’s too scared to indulge himself while there’s still danger in the world. He wants to make the world safer for you, whether he’s there to see it with you or not. But he’s pretty sure he will, he is “the strongest” after all.

Thank you for reading!

|| MASTERLIST <3 ||

[hyukaslvr]

strong enough | J. Jungkook (2)

<series masterlist

pairing: Jungkook x (f) reader

genre/tags: idol! Jungkook, idol! reader, idiot exes to lovers, slow burn ; k-drama feels (our beloved summer but not at the same time), angst, drama, fluff, smut

warnings: foul/explicit language, alcohol consumption, unhealthy coping mechanisms, feelings of helplessness, insecurities; commitment issues & emotionally constipated characters, panic attacks, reader is harsh towards Jungkook, Jungkook is a meanie!, mentions of old abuse (major trigger warning!!), talk about blood and wounds

w.c: aproxx 10.2k

series summary: you and Jungkook have too many personal problems, during and after your relationship and it keeps getting brought up. you both had tried multiple times to ignore the fact you were both struggling mentally and physically due to your workplace, but you always run back to each other. maybe one day, one day you'll get back to each other, with all your problems handled, maybe not. all you want is for him to shine like he always does, all he wants is you.

a/n at very bottom!

the mirrors of your practice room were foggy, the heat radiating off of your whole groups bodies as you worked your hardest to perfect all the choreographies to your newest album. you worked especially hard since last week, you took a long time to really think about what happened.

“we both know you’re just as messy,” Jungkook spat at you, you bit back your tears and fought your conscience screaming at you to walk away. this isn’t something you would just walk away from, not with your boosting ego.

“this is why we won’t work out, Jungkook, you’re acting like a bitch. fix yourself, i’ll fix me. i thought you were doing better, but it seems like you’re still the dick you were during all our fucking arguments,” you grabbed your belongings and starting walking away from his frozen figure, his words hitting him like a brick in the face. you came out here with him hoping you could talk to him, make him remember the reason why you weren’t communicating things or in contact, but he just proved to you why you shouldn’t have came.

Jungkook sat back down, right where you sat, thinking over things. anytime he would see you, he felt this rage build up inside of him. the rage coming from nowhere, yet appearing whenever your pretty face shows up in his sight. he hates it. he swore to control his anger, the way he acted when things didn’t go his way, but apparently anger management isn’t enough for him.

it’s not that he hates you, he adores you, he loves you. but sometimes, he feels like he can’t stand you. you act like you have everything in your life sorted out, when you don’t, not without him. it might be toxic of him to think of you that way, but it’s true. you know it’s true, deep inside and past your wall that you’ve built up for no one to see behind your cute personality set for the stage. only he knows the real you, at least he thinks, and he knows you have a shit ton of problems just like him.

Jungkook clenches his fists, his knuckles turning white at the thought of how he spoke to you. you don’t deserve that, but at the same time, he rightfully believes you need someone to put you in your place sometimes. but at the same time, you wish someone would knock some sense into Jungkook and make him grow up, even if he grew up way to fast, he still is childish as ever when it comes to talking about things.

you snapped out of your state of thought as one of your members patted your back, telling you to drink up some water before starting again. you wiped your face with a towel before gulping down half of your bottle, tossing it on the floor, and starting up again. thank god that you have therapy tomorrow, you thought as you stand in position once again, waiting for the music to start up.

“he said that to you?” your therapist questioned, jotting down notes quickly so you can speak more about how you felt during that moment. you felt angry, sad, all of the above. out of all people you thought would understand, Jungkook was the one you felt would. yet, he opens his mouth and speaks mean words towards you like he always did when he was struggling, never able to control what he says. but who were you to talk, you did the same things, but you were for sure better at controlling it.

“i thought we were ready to talk about why we actually broke up, i thought i was to say at the least, he for sure wasn’t,” you sighed, picking at your skin around your fresh pedicured nails out of habit. it breaks your heart, seeing him that way, he only acts like that when he’s in a deep place. you can visualize him going home, and immediately changing into work out clothes, beating on his punching back until the chain gives out, his knuckles bleeding with open wounds.

but then again, who’s ever ready to talk about a long relationship ending? at the time, walking to the park in the freezing cold, you felt ready. you walked high and proud as you were side by side with the man whose heart you constantly break. maybe he did have the right to act that way, but it still hurts coming from him. yeah, you had to figure out your shit, but so did he, so him acting like that felt hypocritical.

“darling, no one is ever ready to talk about why relationships end the way they end,” she starts again, it’s was like she was reading your mind as you sat there quietly in thought, “maybe you should of waited, but know you know for sure that now isn’t the right time to get back together, no matter how much you both want and crave it,”

“we’re like the same person, at least i like to think so. i just want him to understand why i do what i do,” it makes your head hurt thinking about reasons why he couldn’t try to understand you at the least, it was the least he could do along with loving you. he was always so unreasonable with mental health.

“just give him some time to think about what he said and how he can fix things over time, time heals everything,” bullshit.

you felt like a mess, sitting in front of the vanity mirror as you get your hair fixed by your stylist, her sweet smile as your eyes reached hers in the mirror comforted you in the slightest, you just had to get through tonight and then you’ll be able to be alone in your dorm room, in the comfort of your own bed.

“feeling anxious?” your leader lets her head fall on your shoulder, smiling at the glitter in your inner corners and poking your cheek in awe, “you’ll be okay, at least you’re pretty and have curly hair,” her finger twirls the curl resting in the small ponytail in your hair, letting it boing back to place.

once your stylist was done, she spun your chair to face your leader, who bent down to fix the curls in your face, cupping your cheeks once she was done and smiling down at you, “i just wish to be home right now,” you sigh, practically melting into her hold and she squishes your cheeks in response. you wanted to cry, the amount of promotions you had this week drained every last bit of emotion out of you.

“just put a smile on that frowny face of yours, get out there and look as cute as you always do during fansigning, we’re gonna have a party tonight!” you groan in response, she lets go of your face to cross her arms across her chest, noticing your negative response to the idea of partying, “what’s wrong with getting wasted after all these promotions? it’s not like anyone else will be there,”

that was a lie, you sat in a corner of your shared house with group after group showing up and partying, while you just wanted to be in your bed. maybe if you get drunk enough, you can dance with a random and have some fun tonight, you thought while staring at your other members already claiming other males to dance with. the lights flashing making your head hurt, as you stood up to get another glass of your drink.

there was yelling going on around you, but you chose to ignore it and downed half of your cup before heading towards your room, planning on locking your door and drowning all the noise of the party out with music. but your heart and feet stopped when hollers from the front door caught your attention. the person who took feet away from you, you wished to disappear out of his sight. no, it wasn’t Jungkook, right about now you wished it was instead of the monster who stood close in front of you, but far away at the same time

Choi Jaehyun, also known as the dick that cheated on you, also known as the abusive alcoholic you had dated, also known as the reason for the way you were now. one little glance towards his way made you gag, in shock and disbelief that he would dare to even show up here. the first thing he did was grab a beer, like he always did at his house after hitting you like you were the cause of all his problems.

it makes you ache, your heart especially knowing you loved his shit ass self at one point, thinking that he would change if you just covered up all the marks he would leave on you. after that relationship was over, your leader swore at you to never get back into another relationship until you got over him. you were over him, to say the least, but not over the way he made you feel. he made you feel worthless, ungrateful, unworthy, like a weakling.

“you think you deserve to be out there in the spotlight, like the bitch you are?” he spat in your face, his hands close to your face making you feel like something was coming towards you.

“baby, please just sit down and listen to me-” another smack hit your cheek, the tingling burned and made you call out in a cry, “jaehyun! please, stop and just have a drink-” you gasped out, the tears burned your eyes but slightly cooled the heat of your cheek.

“drink some more, is that what you fucking what? you want me more drunk so you can run away again?” he grabs your cheek hard, pulling it as he backed you against the cold of the refrigerator. you tried to focus on the loud humming coming from the damn thing, instead of the burning sensation of his hand pinching at the same place he just whacked you, “you’ll never be able to get away from me, not again, baby,”

the tears flowed from your cheeks, his body now facing you as your memory fades away to a new one standing infront of you currently. the look of his face, like he didn’t expect you to be at your own groups party, what a fucking idiot. before he could walk towards you, you grabbed your drink and stormed past him, ignoring the ringing affect his call of your name had to your ears. you told yourself, that where ever he was, you weren’t going to be, never, ever again.

you left the house in nothing but a thin jacket, you walked until your legs gave up on you. once you sat down, not knowing where you were or where your legs were walking you to, you looked up at the dark sky. the lights of the stars twinkling above you, giving you some comfort of the unbearable memories you had. you wished you could just deleted everything, every moment you had that with sick man. but it stays with you, like a parasite eating away at your skin.

you sniffled as you calmed down, whipped out your phone to dial someone, anyone to come get you and to be in the comfort of someone’s arms. you scrolled and scrolled, hoping to see someone’s name that warmed your heart at the sight of it. your eyes scoped around your contacts, hoping for anyone’s name to pop up.

Park Jimin. you quickly dialed his number, knowing he would pick up in a heart beat, like he always did for you.

“are you sure you’ll be okay on the couch? my bed is just as comfortable, even more at that,” he spoke as softly as you remembered, he tucked you into the couch and making sure you were comfortable enough to sleep away your puffy eyes.

“i’ll be okay out here, Jimin, i promise,” Jimin was the only other member, besides Hoseok, who knew about you and Jungkook. he allowed you to come over time to time when ever you and Jungkook would have problems, problems that were always better than what Jaehyun ever put you through. you believe that why you always went back to him, back to the comfort of his aura because he truly loved you. he loved every bit of you, but he couldn’t handle every bit of you.

Jungkook would never, you thought as you rolled over, facing the back of the couch as Jimin accepted the fact you chose the couch over his bed and went upstairs to get some sleep for himself. Jungkook had his angry issues, but he would never show abusive tendencies towards you, no matter how mad he was. he never raised a hand towards your way, he never laid a finger on you. it took you awhile to trust him, but that trust never once left even after you left him multiple times. but, to never bring up the memories that made you feel like a burden, you never once mentioned your past relationship, no matter how many times Jungkook would beg to talk about your exes.

“you should start writing in your journal again, _____” Jimin spoke over his shoulder, his hands working on making your eggs the way you loved them, “i know that helped you at times like this, even if i don’t know what actually happened for you to end up 10 minutes away from my place,”

“it’s better not to talk about it, for my sake,” he nodded in agreement, letting you know he won’t budge any information out of you since he knows the way you looked when he picked you up from the random street you sat at. you always wanted to tell him about your past, what changed you into the mess you are now and why you can’t seem to stay stable at any current time of the year. just because it happened years ago, doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect you to talk about it, even if you trusted someone with your life, “you know what? that might be a good idea,” you spoke up after the minute of slience between you both.

you’ll write about everything bothering you, maybe you’ll be able to pick at the pieces broken inside of you to figure out how to handle all of your problems with Jungkook, but mainly yourself. you always need to put yourself first, your therapist would tell you, no matter how badly the other person is struggling, and you stood by that.

you never wanted to leave Jungkook, you never wanted him to feel like he wasn’t good enough for you love. you wanted him to feel like he was on the top of the world with you, to make him feel important and loved the way he should. what he doesn’t know, is that he was the reason you wanted to get better. he always told you, that you deserved everything heading towards you that was good. if the good was getting better and becoming healthy, hell yeah, you deserved that shit like it was a grammy.

so once you got back to the dorms, letting all your members and your worried leader know that you were at a good friends house after the party, you headed to your room with a fresh new notebook, ready to jot down all your feelings and thoughts that you let eat you alive everyday.

to my past, fuck you, sincerely. you deserve nothing, you don’t deserve to take over my life. i will get rid of you, i will get better, i deserve to be happy, i deserve to become a butterfly instead of moth. moths are pretty, but trust, i will be a beautiful monarch.

cheesy, you know that, but it’s true. so true that you continue to write until your hand cramps around your pen. you will get better, it just takes time, but time definitely does not heal everything.

a/n: i low-key hate writing angst, but here we are! this is a reminder that you are not alone if you’ve ever went through abuse or trauma with abuse, you will always have people out there for you and you have help too. there are hotlines on top of hotlines, please don’t be afraid to speak up about it, no matter what. i love you all, and never feel like you can’t reach out to talk to me, dm me about anything! you are all worthy and beautiful and deserve the best🩷. here are some hotlines: 1, 2, 3

taglist: @loumin908 @heartjiminie @cuntessaiii @parkinglot-nights @minsoa97kor @jkgirlfr @lavendersugarplum @gaebestie @whoa-jo @kp0pficdump @yunholuv @skzthinker @shwkoqp18 @veemegatron @joonsproperty @jk97bam @dna-black-and-blue

COMMENT TO BE ON TAGLIST!

[rebouks]

Previous // Next

[Robin scrambled over the back of the sofa and wedged himself beside Oscar, absently watching TV. Part of him hoped his father wouldn’t wake, but he was a notoriously light sleeper so the chances were slim. Sure enough, Oscar stirred, sleepily wrapping an arm around his son with a cosy hum] Oscar: Mmh-.. what time is it? Robin: I don’t know. Oscar: Late, then… [Robin shrugged a shoulder, the steady rhythm of his father’s heartbeat soothing his frayed nerves; he wished they could just stay like this forever-.. Oscar’s breathing softened as he threatened to drift off again though, reminding Robin why he’d clambered out of bed in the first place] Robin: Papa.. can I ask you something? Oscar: Anything. [Robin held his breath, readying himself for the inevitable barrage of Oscar’s unpleasant memories] Robin: Can you tell me the truth about what Larry said? I asked grandma, but she made me promise I’d ask you too-.. that you’d explain it better than her. Oscar: Is that what you’ve been thinking about this whole time? Robin: I don’t want you to die again… Oscar: I’m not going anywhere, I promise. Robin: You can’t exactly promise something like that. Oscar: I promise I’ll try my best not to, then. Robin: You still think about that sorta stuff though, don’t you? How do you know it won’t happen again? [Oscar sighed as he righted himself and settled Robin atop his knee, wondering what on earth Sidney had told him] Robin: She said you knew the risks-.. why’d you do it? Oscar: I wasn’t thinking straight-.. bit off more than I could chew. I was in a pretty bad place at the time. Robin: Why? Oscar: I like to keep things to myself, but it doesn’t do you any favours; I used to use all that nasty stuff to bury my feelings, to numb the pain it caused me to keep it all locked up n’ keep going. Robin: But everyone has secrets, don’t they? Oscar: They do, the fewer the better though-.. I think you’re as bad as me for bottling stuff up, but it’s so important to talk about things n’ let people help, ‘cause otherwise you’ll just end up finding unhealthy ways to cope instead. Robin: So, it happened by accident? Oscar: Yeah-.. it was pretty scary, to be honest. Robin: But it definitely wasn’t on purpose? Oscar: Sometimes I figured it’d be easier, but I didn’t want to die, no. Robin: I don’t want you to either, not ever. Oscar: It’s normal to be frightened of losing the people you love. Robin: Really? Oscar: Yeah-.. I used to worry about my grandad dying when I was your age. Sometimes it’d randomly pop into my head and I’d wonder what I’d do without him n’ get all pissy with everyone ‘til I could be alone, then I’d cry about it. [Robin felt a twinge of sadness yet smiled faintly, feeling slightly less weird for worrying so excessively] Robin: Sorry I asked grandma first… Oscar: It’s alright, being curious is normal too. [Oscar squeezed Robin tightly, semi-wishing he’d explained a little sooner; he was so mature for his age sometimes] Oscar: I’ll never ever be upset with you for asking questions, okay? There’s nothing you can’t talk to me about. Robin: I didn’t want to make you remember. Oscar: The past is what makes us who we are, buddy-.. I just hope I’ve made enough mistakes for the both of us…

[look-at-the-soul]

Always with me

(Modern)Tommy Shelby x reader (+Grandma) 👵🏻

Hello beautiful people! Hoping you’re doing well 💞 It took me so long to finish this little story because for some reason I kept thinking it needed something else but couldn’t find what it was, then one day I thought this is it, don’t force it, the main point it’s there… sometimes less is more or so they say. Either way, I hope you like this!

Just to let you know this is part of a series of stories (not linked between them) about my Grandma’s series to honor one of the persons who had the biggest impact in my life and I recently lost. This is a small tribute and a way to cope with her not being around anymore.

Grief and sadness is mentioned but as usual I compensate with fluff and happiness ❤️‍🩹 thank you for your endless support, it means so much.

Word count: 3,602

✨ Inspired by Westlife song “Always with me”

They say that time can heal a broken heart

But I just don't know how this could be true

Everyday I see a picture on my wall

My heart is broken into two

Tommy poured two glasses of wine and headed to the couch, next to his girlfriend. She had been staring absently at the fire flames flicking before her eyes, she didn’t even notice when Frances asked if they wanted something for dinner. But he already knew the answer, it was one of those moments when Y/N’s mind wandered back in time to some memory with her grandmother.

Her energy felt so low, the sadness in her eyes made him feel hopeless, and with the holidays around the corner he knew it wouldn’t help to lift her up, as he knew the days meant so much for her. If only he could find a way to make her focus on something else, a distraction.

His eyes fixed on her features as she brought the glass to her mouth.

“You’re wearing lipstick.” He noticed a subtle tone.

A ridiculous suggestion he made when Y/N asked how to get back on track. Try to focus in small things, the finest details you used to do without even thinking about it. Like using your favorite lipstick, he had said back then.

The glimpse of a smile formed on her lips, but it didn’t reach her eyes, so taking both glasses he placed them on the table to then pass an arm behind Y/N’s neck to bring her closer.

“I know it’s not been easy for you, but take your time to heal… it’s okay to not being okay.”

His fingers massaged gently her scalp and Tommy felt Y/N relaxing against him, really allowing him to hold her, not just physically.

“I miss her.” Her voice cracked at the end, and felt Tommy’s hands hugging her tighter.

“I know, love. I miss her too, but you know what? I just noticed you’ve got so many mannerisms like her.”

Y/N’s head moved back to give him a confused look.

“You do, just as you were sipping coffee this morning, the way you hugged Charlie it made me remember every time we visited your grandma and she hugged you.”

“You think so?” Surprise washed over her.

Tommy nodded.

“You’ve got lots of things from her, both physically and internally.” He brushed a rebel lock away from her face and looked at her with adoring eyes. “I realized you look so much alike in this photo.”

Fishing his phone in his pocket, Tommy searched for the image he was looking for, a candid image he snapped from Y/N when she wasn’t looking.

“You never told me you took this.” She was surprised by how much she looked like her grandmother indeed.

“If you put them side by side, it’ll be more obvious.” A genuine smile appeared on his lips.

“It’s lovely, thanks. I’ll make a collage.” Y/N leaned in to brush her lips against his. “Do you mind if I go to sleep? I’m exhausted.”

“I’ll join you in a minute, just want to check Charlie.”

“My God, he must be so confused for not having the Christmas tree yet.” Worry was evident in her voice.

“Don’t worry about it baby, I’ll take care of it.” He then joined her in the middle of the hall to give Y/N one more reassuring kiss. Making sure she was upstairs, he called Frances. “Would you help me pack a small suitcase for Charlie and another one for Y/N, leave them by the door so the driver can place them in the back of the car.”

“Of course Mr. Shelby.” The maid nodded.

“Oh and Frances? Make sure to pack yours as well, I need you to look after Charlie.”

Leaving the maid perplexed, Tommy went upstairs.

***

“Since Charlie isn’t cooperating, Frances would you explain why all this mystery?”

Charlie grinned and gave Frances one long and expectant look.

“I’m afraid I don’t know madam.”

Y/N tried getting Tommy to talk, but it was useless. Suddenly he was more interested in the sky than in the interrogation she was making.

“Wow, look at that plane!” Charlie pointed out.

It was until then that Y/N realized of where they were going. The airport.

“Tommy.”

One look and she knew.

“Tom-”

“Just relax, okay?” He interrupted. “For once. All you need to do is get on that plane.”

“Can I ask…?”

“Nope.” He perched his signature Ray Bans against his nose and offered his hand so Y/N could get out of the car.

“Let’s go!” Charlie shouted, leaving them behind.

“Frances?” Y/N tried again.

“Oh Miss Y/LN I know the same thing as you.”

The crew of the private plane greeted them and offered drinks and breakfast, and Y/N still didn’t know the destination. She was worried not being able to take control over the smallest thing, because Tommy was taking care of absolutely everything.

“Fine.” She mumbled leaning against the window.

“Finally! Now we can start our little holiday.” Tommy squeezed her hand. “I know you didn’t feel like celebrating for what it means this time without your grandmother, but Y/N, she would wanted you to smile and be happy.”

Her eyes filled with tears.

“Wherever you choose to celebrate or not, your grandma will be right with you, in your heart.”

“I know, but it’s not the same without her.”

Tommy wiped away a tear from the corner of her eye tenderly.

“Sweetheart, I don’t want you to spend this Christmas sitting on the couch crying.”

He wanted to compensate for her sadness. And although nothing would her back what she wanted the most, he could try to make her happy. He was right, and the effort meant more than she could express, so with a sigh she rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes for a moment.

“Dad! Look!” Charlie’s nose was glued to the window. Frances looking over his shoulder.

That’s when Y/N realized….

“Paris?”

“We’ll always have Paris.” Tommy whispered.

Y/N wasn’t able to hold back the tears any longer.

She knew when she was around six years old, her grandma took her to Paris to visit some family, but the memories were blurred in her mind. Through her grandmother’s eyes she had been able to know some parts of their adventure together. A few photographs but that was pretty much all.

Either way, she felt a special connection to the place and that quote was something her grandmother constantly said, as it was one of greatest experiences she had with Y/N. And they both treasured it close to their hearts.

“It’s time to make our own memories.” Tommy’s voice made her go back into reality. “What do you say?”

She wanted to ask him a million questions, but decided to just let everything flow. In the end he really took care of everything, prepared even the smallest detail of their trip and gave her that reassuring smile that let her know everything would be alright.

As they stepped outside the airport, snow welcomed them, everything was covered in a white layer. But it only added an even more beautiful vibe to their trip.

“I love you, you know that?” Y/N closed her hands around his neck and pulled Tommy for a brief kiss while Frances and Charlie took their seats in the vehicle.

“I do.” He gave another one back. “And I love you too.”

“This is beautiful.” Y/N beamed as they rode through the Parisian streets.

“Actually… shall we stop?” Tommy proposed, while Y/N gave him a confused look. “It’s fine, Frances will make sure the bags are checked in and we’ll go back in a bit.”

Making sure Charlie had the scarf around his neck, Y/N covered her hands with her gloves, while Tommy’s hand wrapped around the small of her back as they strolled around.

“Dad I want to go the carrousel!” Charlie announced excitedly. With his father’s approval, the kid stormed towards the attraction impatiently.

“Bet you were just like that.” Y/N mumbled to herself but loud enough for Tommy to throw his head back and laugh.

“Guess you could say that.”

“Look! Just like Winter!” Charlie pointed at the white horse figure, thinking of their horse back home.

“Just like her huh? Think you can handle this one?”

“Of course, it’s a fake.” Charlie retorted making Y/N smile.

Paying for Charlie’s ticket, they stepped aside to see him riding.

Using her phone, Y/N captured a candid photo of Charlie waving at them, a big smile on his small face.

“What is it?”

“Nothin’ just wish Ruby could be here as well.” Tommy cleared his throat and pretended to be busy with a cigarette.

Y/N knew deep down that fearless man was a sweet man with a good heart who cared deeply of his people.

“I’m sure you’ll reach an agreement with Lizzie later on, she’s still a one year old girl.” Y/N leaned her head on his shoulder to comfort him.

“It’s hard to believe she’ll let me anywhere near Ruby.”

“You’re her father, you’ve the right to see her.”

These holidays had been hard for him as well.

“You know what? I don’t want to talk about anything that might ruin this, you, Charlie, me right here it’s all that matters.” He stated before taking a deep puff of smoke.

“Thank you, for cheering me up.” Stepping in front of him, Y/N captured his lips in a kiss full of gratitude.

“Careful, you might get us arrested and only one of us knows French.” Tommy joked with a sparkle in his eyes. His hands sneaking under her coat.

“I see why you brought Frances then.”

“I always have a plan.” He winked at her.

She could feel a thousand butterflies in her stomach by the way he smiled. “Santa said you’ve been a good girl.”

Y/N blushed. “Oh… and what about you mister?”

“Nah… I’m the bad boy your grandmother warned you about.” Another wink by him and she produced another smile as Charlie ran towards them. “But what you gonna do about it? It’s kind of late now to back down.” He added jokingly.

“She loved you too.” Bending down, Y/N asked Charlie if he enjoyed the ride. “Who wants some hot chocolate?”

“Me! Me! Me!” Charlie shouted.

Tommy groaned. “If you find the button to turn him off let me know.”

“You’re so mean, as if I did the same to you.”

“No, Y/N you turn me on.” Tommy admitted just before Y/N moved her hand to cover his mouth, he was taking advantage of Charlie’s innocence and the mischievous grin on his face gave him away.

Sipping on her hot chocolate cup, Y/N allowed a small glimpse of happiness, it was a beautiful place, the Christmas decoration providing a gorgeous sighting, everyone oozing happiness. The snowy weather made the sighting look out of a Christmas postal.

She was torn between enjoying her favorite season and the grief she carried in her heart. It was her first holidays without her grandmother and her empty chair was definitely evident. She was at a much better place now, no doubt but her absence felt heavy in Y/N’s heart.

Grief is just all the love with no place to go after all.

Noticing the sadness in her eyes, Tommy stopped at a stand, looking for the ornaments they had to decorate the Christmas tree.

“Are you looking for something special?” The man asked.

“Yes… a house ornament.” Tommy replied, feeling Y/N’s eyes on him. “Do you guys want something?”

“A reindeer!” Charlie’s eyes shining.

Y/N took her time studying the ornaments, until one caught her attention.

Following her eyes, Tommy had to swallow the lump in his throat. I have an Angel in heaven, called Grandma. It read. It was the one.

Kissing her temple, Tommy offered his embrace as they waited to get their decorations.

“Dad why did you choose the house?” Charlie asked with curiosity.

Getting a cab for them, he looked at his son. “I’ll tell you later about it.”

Y/N looked the exchange in silence, but also wondering the meaning behind his choice. She’s expect him to choose something with a dark humor behind instead.

“Look Charlie, the Eiffel Tower’s lights are flicking again.” Y/N pointed as they drove in the opposite direction, back to their hotel.

“Okay this is the plan, Charlie you’re heading to bed the second we step into the hotel, no questions. Tomorrow we’re having breakfast and then we’re going to a flea market.”

“Tommy…” Y/N gasped.

“What? You always said you wanted to see the Eiffel Tower and a flea market in that same order.”

“I know, but how do you remember?”

Scoffing, Tommy gave her the look. “Sweetheart, I pay attention.”

“Only thing that sucks is Santa doesn’t know I’m here.” Charlie complained once in front of their door.

With a smile, Tommy opened the door for them, making them both gasp loudly as they saw the huge Christmas tree in the middle, fully decorated with presents wrapped all around.

“Well I might have informed him we would be traveling and changed the address.” He admitted pleased with himself. He wanted them to have the nicest possible holiday. “Why don’t we add our ornaments?”

Tommy took her by surprise, not only for the trip, but for the tree as well, she thought about sneaking around the shops of the hotel to buy Charlie something thinking he wouldn’t get anything, but Tommy thought of everything.

“This is beautiful, thank you.” Y/N wrapped her arms around his torso, feeling so grateful to have him in her life.

“Presents are meant to be open until tomorrow morning though.”

“But Daaad.”

“No buts, off to bed.”

Pouting, Charlie walked towards Y/N. “Goodnight Y/N Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas Charlie, have a good night.” She hugged the boy and kissed the top of his head.

“Night Dad.” He then said. “Merry Christmas.”

“See you tomorrow son, Merry Christmas.”

Watching him disappear, Tommy took Y/N by the hand.

“Want to know why I chose the house?”

“Absolutely.” She brushed the fringe from his forehead with her fingers.

“Because that’s my only wish this Christmas… to build a home with you, Y/N. A proper house; our own title team, we’ve talked about the future, well it’s finally here, in this moment. You made me realize of what I truly want, what I dream of.” Getting on one knee, Tommy showed her an old jewelry box. “I know you miss your grandma terribly and no one will ever fill her place in your heart, but in some way, she found a way to show you she’ll always be right next to you, she gave me this ring, she wanted you to have it and be as happy as she was during her marriage. Will you marry me?”

He looked at her with tears in his eyes, fighting to say the words as emotions took over.

“Tommy…” bending down she kissed him. “Wait a second, this is her engagement ring?”

Taking the delicate piece from the box, he smiled proudly.

“Before she passed away, she gave it to me to propose you with her ring.”

Her head was spinning, her heart drumming against her ribs.

“She did what? When?” Shock was written all over her face.

“Can you please say yes first? So I can get up.” He groaned.

“Yes of course!” She kissed him again, tears rolling down her cheeks.

“When we took her to the clinic, as you were asked to fill the papers with her information, the nurse just left,” he explained as the memories of that day came back to him, “she asked me if I really loved you, to which the answer is pretty obvious. Then she asked me in case something happened to her to go to her house and open the safe to get her engagement ring and keep it until it was the right time to give it to you, she wanted you to have it as she knew how much you’d miss her.”

Y/N sobbed as Tommy’s voice cracked.

“She said to me make her even happier than I was, and the day she walks down the aisle, I’ll be right by her side.”

“I thought it was lost or stolen, as I went through her belongings.” Y/N wiped the tears from the corner of her eyes.

“She wanted you to have it, with a different meaning.”

“It’s the most perfect ring I’ve ever seen.” She looked down at her left hand, the stone shining under the chandelier.

“Just Iike you’re to me.” He pulled his now fiancé for a hug. “She wanted you to be happy, to live life to the fullest. Said you were her favorite grandchild.”

Her lower lip trembled just as his hands came to rest at each side of her head.

“Just don’t let anyone else listen.” They said in unison to what Y/N’s grandma used to confess.

“I know you lost a huge part of yourself when she left. But you have to know that you were right beside her through everything, you enjoyed her in every moment, every visit, dinner and chance you had, you took care of her until her very last breath, and no one can take that away from you. Find peace in that. You loved her as much as she loved you.”

Tommy caressed her face with his thumbs.

“Now you have to keep that promise, and be happy. For her. For us.”

Y/N could only nod. Words were stuck in her throat.

“I can’t believe this is happening.” Y/N expressed in a whisper, staring at her grandmother’s engagement ring.

“We’re getting married.” Tommy assured her, thumbs caressing her cheeks. “Eh? Soon to be Mrs. Shelby.”

Y/N blushed. “That sounds promising.”

Taking her by surprise, Tommy grabbed her from the waist to spin her around, making Y/N gasp and hold onto him tightly.

Trying to hold back the tears, Y/N hugged Tommy closing her eyes for an instant.

“What’s crossing your mind?” He asked.

And for the first time in a while, he saw the way the smile reached Y/N’s eyes.

“Thinking how grandma will always be with me.”

****

As usual your feedback means the world to me ♥️✨

Master list

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[gingerrtarot]

◌ ｡ PAC: “I’ll do it later…” - why do you procrastinate and how you can stop it?

hello everyone! welcome to my new reading~

as the heading suggest, today we will look at the reasons behind your “laziness” and you will get some advices on how you can change that.

keep in mind that this is a general reading, so it may or may not resonate with you.

now, let’s pick a pile!

Pile 1 Pile 2 Pile 3

°｡ Pile 1. ◌

Hello, guys!! so right off the bat I don’t actually see you guys as some slackers. People from this group, on the contrary, may be involved in many different activities at once, or at least they always have many plans in mind. maybe you judge yourself too harshly. another thing i pick up on here is that you were this super talented kids at school and now your family, teachers, colleagues may be expecting too much from you. so you end up always feeling like you are not doing enough.also, it seems like you are doing what others want and do not do things that will satisfy your desires. you may be oppressed by others. I see that some of you may want to work in a political field or maybe something related to judging. or you just want to be somewhere where you will be heard in your opinions will matter your words will have power. so why do you procrastinate? there are several options here. first, you may, actually, take a lot of tasks at once, and then you end up doing a little bit of this a little bit of that, and it doesn’t produce any result. Second, you may come up with many ideas and, but you always put off their implementation until later. In the first case, you are advised to learn to prioritize the right things; make a to-do lists, highlight the most important ones and do them first. In the second case, you need to start bring your ideas to execution as soon as you have them. Don’t put anything off for later, take at least a small action that will help you bring your ideas to life. don’t forget about it, don’t shelve them, it won’t make you any good.

one more thing. some people in this group may have problems with their family. They force you to do something that you don’t want, or even if they don’t force you, they gently persuade you or raise hopes for you that you cannot justify, you don’t want it, but you do it for their sake. And here the cards advise, if possible, to move. You will immediately become more motivated, more active and energetic. All the things that previously seemed difficult to you will be given to you with ease. if this is your problem, moving here will be extremely useful.

°｡ Pile 2. ◌

hi there pile 2! Here I see people who have recently experienced some kind of transformation. It could have moved, changed your study place or a job, perhaps you have suffered a loss or something similar. It may also be that you had to grow up early, when your inner self was not yet ready for it. Now you may be in a state of apathy; you do not have the strength and energy to do anything.

And even if you do want to do something, you just don’t know how. It feels like you are in the fog. Where to go and what to do, how to do it - you lack knowledge and skills. I see here a desire to return to your comfort zone, maybe go back to your childhood, to your family. somewhere you didn’t have to decide and do so much yourself. you want and need some help. and some stability and security. You shouldn't judge or blame yourself if you experience this, it's okay. Change can be difficult to cope with, give yourself time to collect yourself both mentally and physically. But if you have been in this state for a long time, you should think about it and pull yourself together. Otherwise it may drag on for years. The advice to you here is to find people with whom you can grow and develop together. You lack experience and knowledge in some areas right now. And help of people now will be very useful to you. Communicate with those who are more experienced than you, with those who can teach you something. Invite acquaintances at your place of study or work, if possible. Or try to find people with similar goals through social networks, with whom you can somehow collaborate. Yes, I know it's not that easy. But even if you can’t do this, try to find at least some celebrities, bloggers and influencers who would work, for example, in the same field in which you want to work. Find those who you will look up to, those who will inspire you and will be able to provide you with some helpful information and this will already be great.

°｡ Pile 3. ◌

hey, pile 3!! There's a lot of youthful energy here. You guys are most likely extroverts, you are active, like to go for walks, relax, have fun, and do some kind of creative work. And yes, we all love it, but you especially. Like the second group, you lack life experience that can help you achieve what you want. And what else is important, many here may not have any goals or desires at all.

Perhaps you prefer to live in the present and you’re not thinking about the future too much. Yes, it may be good, but here it’s a real problem. some people here simply don’t have enough willpower, you indulge your momentary weaknesses and whims. for some, it’s just a trait of your character that you need to work with and change it, if you want to be more productive. But for others, the lack of motivation and any ambition comes from disappointment in the past. You may have been brought up in strictness; your desire and way of self-expression was not accepted, your dreams and goals were devaluated and you got used to considering yourself a loser. Or maybe, having failed, you have lost faith in yourself. Maybe you had a small failure or maybe a big one, in the end it led you to the fact that you decided not to try at all. It may also be that you are one of those who get disappointed and quit the job they started after it didn’t work out right away. Like, you wanted to draw a masterpiece but it turned out to be doodles, and you start to think that drawing is not for you and give up on it. But it’s wrong. You may be born a genius, but without training and practice you will achieve nothing. Therefore, it is important to study and work and not give up after the first failure, no matter what.

Self-discipline is what you need. Of course there is no miracle advice or potion that will help you deal with this. It will take time but in the end it will be worth it. So create a routine for yourself that will help you be more productive and stick to it. If it’s difficult for you to control yourself, ask others for help, there’s nothing wrong with that. Over time you will succeed, be patient. good luck!

[sweatervest-obsessed]

To Make Sure I Stay Sane

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

WC: ~4k

TW: Blood, Torture, swearing, guns, police, violence, knives, trauma, slight ptsd but horrible coping mechanisms, mental illness, depression, ANGST.

A/N: I'm picturing season 4 Spence but y'all can picture whichever one you want. Inspired by Six Below by Flipturn! I thought y'all deserved an extra Spencer bit since I made you wait so long for the last one. A sweet treat if you will. Enjoy babes!!

I am a man on the run Running on two empty lungs Running from my own mind And things I hide inside Some call it sweet temptation

Only a handful of people get the extreme privilege of having their cover blown by the FBI, specifically the BAU, and even more specifically, Derek Fucking Morgan. 

If he had followed orders, and kept his mouth in line, then maybe this would have turned out better, maybe you’d be back in your house, checked in with your handler, and able to sleep for another night. But no. He pulls you over in the middle of the bar you worked at, and regardless of how hard you tried to get away from him, your efforts were ignored. He then ambushed you in the parking lot, trying to get you to listen. Talking to a fed could get you killed, and you were about to face that fear.

Freezers are quite comfortable when you’ve worked in the restaurant industry for long enough, but something about the way the mold perfumed the air in this one really seemed to bug the shit out of you. 

You had been trying to keep track–maybe 36 hours— of how long you had been tied to this chair. You’ve only seen three people, but considering you had seen so many places struggling for able bodies, having three goons to rotate watch on someone was very impressive to you. If you weren’t tied to the chair, and not an undercover fed, and it was a different life, maybe that third one would have been your type. 

Your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the freezer squeaking open, and a woman walked in.

“Safya…”

“Alice.” She nodded, pulling up a chair across from you. The slightly attractive goon left the room, closing the freezer door behind him.

“You know why you’re here…”

You shook your head. “No I–”

“--I’ll let you know when you can speak and defend yourself, yes?”

You nodded and she continued. “Now. I was told you had been speaking to the same FBI agent who’s been pushing doors open that should stay closed. Is this true?”

“Yes.” You whispered. 

“And what did he ask you?”

“About y-you, and about what you and I-I had been, um, doing together.” You licked your lips, trying to speed up your breathing–maybe you should have become an actress, and then all of this could be stopped with a simple shout from a director hiding behind some hidden cameras. 

“And what did you say exactly?” The gun on her thigh flashed as she leaned forward, catching the reflection of the singular light. 

“I told him I only knew you as a customer.” You looked at her, telling the honest to god truth. “That you we-were one of my regulars, and that was it. W-whatever your business is, is-is-isn’t my business.” 

She nodded. “Good good. It’s such a shame really…”

Your eyes widened. “W-what?” 

“Because I know you’re telling the truth. But if he was suspecting you, that means I have to let you go…” 

“Saf please, I-I-I’ll keep my mouth shut, I-’ll Never–”

“Stop.” You closed your mouth, panicking outwardly as you internally tried to come up with some sort of escape plan, or at least some way to tell your cat how much you were going to miss him. “You have three hours once I let you go, to disappear. Understood? If I so much as hear that you’re back, it’s over. Clear?” 

You nodded, suddenly formulating a completely different plan. If she watched you get into an unmarked van when you got out, you’d be fucked, completely. And you’d be jeopardizing the mission. 

So now, instead of getting to do your job, you had to change everything about yourself, and go into hiding without letting anyone know for at least a month, doing your best to let the investigation continue without you.

So that’s what you did. Packed up everything into a small suitcase, gave your cat of three years to the girl on the corner, and picked up your last paycheck, before disappearing to god knows where. Running away.  

Sometimes I don't trust myself Cameras on old empty shelves I live inside my brain To make sure I stay sane Good God, I think I need help

You had been fine, really, a month in some small town in the middle of Georgia, nowhere really. You had never been there before, but truthfully it was very peaceful, and across the country from your assignment. You had been there for only a month before Derek Morgan showed up at your door. 

You were in biker shorts, a large sweater for a top–very Princess Diana of you. It was slightly colder, since it was now March, but you weren’t up in the mountains, allowing you to have some sort of reprieve from the freezing winters you used to live with. 

Opening the door made you mad. You were glaring at him, and a man who seemed to be his partner. 

“You need to leave. Now.” You tried to slam the door, but Derek was quicker than you were, pushing the door open causing you to stumble back. Once the two of them were in your house, you quickly shut the door. The blinds and windows were never opened anyways, and the entrances and exits were all locked, save for the front door. 

“Listen here you motherfucker. Do you know how much you’ve ruined my life?! Because I could fucking tear you apart with my bare tee–”

“Woah, woah, calm down there Agent.”

His partner watched as you flinched at the title, having not heard it in over a month. 

“I don’t think you understand. If I’m seen with you here, I’m dead. Three years of my life, down the drain because you couldn’t take no for an answer. Not very consentual of you Derek. Get out of my house.”

His partner spoke up. “Don’t you want to know why we’re here?” 

“Not really, no.” 

“I’m sorry Agent Morgan blew your cover.” said the skinnier of the two, but you didn’t look at him, still glaring at the Agent in question. 

“Thank you so much. That makes everything sooo much better.” 

“We want to put you in protective custody.” 

That got you to tear your eyes away from Derek and look at the other agent. “I’m sorry, who are you?” 

“I-I-I’m Doctor Spencer, uh, Reid.” You raised an eyebrow, curious about his sudden stutter, his sudden nervousness. 

“What, are you not sure?” 

“N-No–Yes, I mean.” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Something about flustering Doctor Reid made him seem incredibly endearing, almost cute. But if this was some other life, you meeting him could have been different and under much better circumstances.

“I’m sure that’s my name.” He mumbled, causing Derek to snort at Reid’s inability to look at you again. 

“You think that’s funny Derek? Ruining other people’s day to feel tough?” You crossed your arms, lips pursed, ready to deck this guy in the face. 

“Okay sweetheart—”

Before he could finish even his thought, you had him pinned down on the ground: face down, ass up. His arm was out straight behind him while you had a death grip on his wrist. Your knee was on his back, holding him in place as you whispered in his ear. “Call me sweetheart again and I won’t stop at just the arm lock. We clear?” 

Derek let out a groan and tried to shift under you, but you dug your knee a little further into the point between his shoulder blades. “What was that Agent Morgan?” 

“yes–Yes! Okay, jesus.” He grumbled, sighing in relief as you got off of him, looking over at Spencer. 

“Would you like something to drink, Doctor Reid? I have tea or coffee…water?” 

Spencer was simply dazed with the way you switched between agent and yourself, it was surely some skill you had to pick up while being in deep cover for three years. 

“Spencer?” 

“Y-Yes, sorry. Water would, uh, water would be good. Thank you.” 

That’s when you killed him, stopping his heart in one simple motion. 

It wasn’t even a full one, but the corner of your mouth lifted up, providing him with a glimpse of a genuine smile, a crack in the stone cold facade you placed to protect yourself. He smiled back as Derek got up, rubbing his wrist and grumbling in pain. 

“I assume you like black coffee Agent Morgan.” you called from the kitchen, to which all you got was a grumbled “yes, please.” followed by what seemed like a laugh from Reid. 

Spencer looked around the bare walls, the bare furniture. There were pictures around, sure, but they were of places you had visited, or at least pretended to. There was only one photo frame with a picture of yourself, and based on the edges, he could tell it was folded. From far away it seemed to be just a picture of you; your family hiding in plain sight. 

He picked up the image and tried to determine how old you were. All he knew was that this photo was taken at some sort of wedding. You were laughing, smiling, dancing. 

“I don’t know why I keep that picture anymore.” You spoke softly from the kitchen doorway. “Maybe it’s to remind me that I’m not just an echo of who I was before cover, ya know? I feel like I have to close her off sometimes.” You placed the mug down on the coffee table in front of Derek, along with a packet of sugar. (Derek was astonished that you had managed to deduce that about him). You also placed Spencer’s water down on the coffee table, sitting on the ottoman that was in front of the couch. “Sometimes I don’t trust myself. Feel like I have to keep her with me to make sure I stay sane. Like I constantly have to remind myself that I’m doing this bullshit for a reason.”

“That’s why we’re here.” 

You nodded at Derek, flashing a quick, but hard, smile in his direction. 

“You mentioned Witness Protection?” 

But they say: "oh to be young" Innocent of what's to come

Witness Protection felt like a fucking joke. They had moved you to D.C. so that your favorite, and least favorite, FBI Agents could keep an eye on you. They would check in periodically, calling you from across the same park, walking past you on the street, it was bullshit really. And they had these two idiot, beat cops staying outside of your house each night, with a second undercover bodyguard who followed you around no matter where you went. 

Suddenly you were more paranoid than before because now you knew people were watching you. Just because they claimed to be the good guys didn’t ease any sort of panic you felt. 

Good was subjective. Good for who?

But It was lonely. You were bored. 

You were young. You were hot. You wanted to go out. 

Obviously this was immediately vetoed by your favorite FBI agent, who was no longer your favorite at the moment. 

“You’re ridiculous if you think you’re losing your tail and sneaking off to a club. That is so unsafe Y/N. Do you even know how many people get kidnapped from clubs, especially women? It’s the perfect hunting grounds for rapists and killers and—”

“So come with me.” You bit the side of your cheek, trying not to smile too heavily at yourself in the mirror as you continued to fix up your hair. 

“Absolutely not.” 

“Why not? You get to personally guarantee my safety, plus, you don’t have to drink. You can just be my chaperone. Please Spencer! I haven’t been allowed to go out for the past three and a half years.” 

You continued on when he started to protest again. “I’m going out Spence. Whether you come is completely up to you.” 

You took his prolonged silence as a victory. “Pick me up at 9 then Lover Boy.” You went to hang up the phone before quickly throwing in a “No sweater vests!”

Oh, to be beautiful, each mistake excusable Give into sweet temptation

Somewhere in between the phone calls and the quick brushes past one another, you had fallen for Spencer. The attention to detail, the way he knew everything under the sun and yet nothing at all, the way he would swipe his hand over yours as he sat on a park bench next to you, two companions posing as strangers. 

He would tell you the most fantastical stories, most of which came from what his mother used to read to him. Listening to the way he spoke, the way he would ramble on about anything you could possibly image. You could hear him sighing now, fantasizing about the night to come, the date you had set up for the both of you. He was never one to make the first move.

Which is why you suddenly became nervous at the idea of Spencer seeing you like this. Party girl outfit, hair done, makeup perfectly executed, tits out. Was this who you even were? What if Spencer saw you dressed like this and realized you were just some regular girl, and not this person he had been talking to for the past six months.

It’s not like you had time to change, considering there was knocking at your door, causing you to quickly exit the bedroom and open the door. 

 You barely had time to register who it was before a cloth was pressed over your mouth, and suddenly the world was black. 

So, tell me what do I do? Am I just playing a fool? That never learned to grow old And still has no self-control

Warm. It was too warm. Your eyelids were heavy, and you couldn’t bring yourself to open them just yet, but it felt like you were back in the southwest. Your wrists tried to circle, but failed stunningly considering they were zip tied behind your back on whatever shitty wooden chair you were stuck on. 

“She’s alive!” goosebumps. Your body entered fight or flight mode, immediately causing your eyes to pop open, squinting until they adjusted to the shitty lighting. 

“Safya.” You mumbled. “Long time, no see.” 

“You look so good dearest. What were your plans? Night on the town with that sweet Doctor?” 

You didn’t react, only looking straight ahead at her, mentally preparing yourself for whatever she was about to throw at you. 

“Don’t worry Y/N, we’ll get you to talk soon enough. You had to have assumed we would find you, I mean really. How foolish did you become? And lacking in such self control–it’s embarrassing.” 

You felt your entire world crumble, dissolve into nothingness. But your face stayed motionless, betraying nothing. All you could do was hope that Spencer was not far behind them, dealing with whatever it was that you had managed to get yourself into. 

I know what everybody knows Die young or you can grow old Until they bury you six below

There was a joke you had with your dad growing up: “Die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.” He would crack that joke at you when you would shit on his old people music or when he would take away your phone because you were grounded. 

Part of you had never fully understood the meaning of the phrase until tonight. 

Your face was pristine, not a scar on it. 

The rest of your body? The same could not be said. 

It ached. You were exhausted. And somehow you barely remembered any of it, just knowing that sometimes she would use knives, other times you wouldn’t be so lucky. 

So when she placed the gun against your head, standing off against the BAU, you finally got it. The trauma, the scars, the emotional devastation. 

Even worse, you sighed out of relief when she did.

She had spent over thirty hours torturing you, except you had no idea of what day it even was, considering you were halfway here, mind retreating in on itself.

You had been investigating Safya for her innate tortures of those close to her–it’s why you were undercover in the first place. The deaths surrounding her were all genuine suicides, she would never touch them after they were released from the warehouse. But their tragic end was posted in the morning edition several days later. 

“It’s over.” You heard some man’s voice call out. It was stern. It sounded authoritative. If you wanted to open your eyes, you would’ve watched as the agents attempted to distract the woman, holding you tightly against her own body. 

It felt nice to stand after so long, your legs barely supporting you. The stinging sensation of the cuts and burns melded with the sensation of your legs waking up. Your mind was enjoying the feeling. Some sort of fucked up post-torture torture, enjoying the fact that you could still feel your legs. 

People were talking across you, but all you could do was fall into your mind further. This was a win-win for you. Safya shoots you, and boom–dead. Safya doesn’t surrender, and the likelihood of you being in the firing range, boom—dead. At least you’d be able to rest then, finally able to let the ache in your bones, in your mind rest. 

But then you heard his voice. 

That same voice that had kept you sane while you were hiding away from the world. The same voice that provided the only routine you were allowed. The same voice that talked to you from sundown to sun up, letting you relish in the knowledge he carried with him.

Spencer.

It was somehow still soft, but you could tell he was very serious at the moment. You aren’t sure what he said, but you started to laugh. It started small, your mouth twitching and laughing through your nose, but it grew and grew, until suddenly you were almost doubled over in laughter. 

The entire room was silent, except for the sound of you losing your mind. 

Safya released her hold on you, letting you drop to the floor, a small smirk across her face as the gun clattered to the ground. 

What a sight you must’ve been, barely holding your chest up with your arms, laughing maniacally into the ground. 

She had broken you. 

The smirk didn’t leave her face as SSA Derek Morgan roughly placed cuffs on her wrists and shoved her out of the warehouse. 

Your laughing didn’t stop for another whole minute. And Spencer waited. He sat next to you as your laughs slowly turned into sobs and your whole body collapsed into him. Your blood was all over the floor, all over the tools on the table she had, all over you. But he didn’t care. 

He just held you as you cried and cried into him, eventually willing to let the EMTs take a look at you, on the condition that Spencer held your hand the entire time. 

Once you were out of the warehouse, and stuck snugly in the back of a large, black SUV, Spencer beside you, you leaned your head against the window. There was no recognition as cars passed by, no jumping when horns blared, you just sat still, mind far off. 

Spencer held your hand the entire ride, but it didn’t feel like enough to bring that girl back you once knew. It didn’t feel like living was worth anything now that she had disappeared from your view. 

You saw the photo burn in your mind, watching as the flames consumed your smile, leaving you with nothing but a pile of ash and the pieces of a mind that might not ever be placed back together again. 

So you lived, but at what cost? 

Live long enough to tell your sons Things you learned when you were young So maybe I can have some self-control

Years later, you would sit in your new apartment, watching the sunset with a mug in your hands and a blanket around your arms. You unconsciously ran a hand up and down your thigh, feeling the healed marks and the scars that added texture in a place that should have felt smooth. 

Something in the sky told you the day would not stay as beautiful as it had started. Your phone beeped, a message from Spencer. 

He checked in with you every night he wasn’t home with you, letting you know he was okay, letting you know he was coming home to you. You quickly sent a text back, telling him you were excited for him to return tomorrow. 

You heard the footsteps before you saw the person they belonged to. Your name was said softly as you placed your phone down on the counter, picking up the little boy, who was still half asleep, wrapped in his dinosaur pajamas and dinosaur blanket. 

“What’s up bud.” You whispered, trying your best at the moment, considering your mind was somewhere far far away. 

What he ended up mumbling out was some varying words that eventually amalgamated to the fact that he couldn’t sleep. 

You nodded and kissed his head. “Want a story?” 

You felt his head nod as he curled into you, not three years old and still so small. You picked him up, carrying him back to his room, and placing him in his bed. You adjusted his nightlight, before picking up one of the thousands of books Spencer had gotten for your son. 

Once he was sound asleep, you placed a soft kiss on the crown on his head, and slowly snuck out of the room, leaving the door open a crack in case that story ended up not sufficing. 

You heard your phone go off, quietly running to pick it up before your child woke up again. 

“Hello?”

“She’s escaped” 

The exhale you let out was a shaky one. 

Spencer had been there to hand you piece after piece as you slowly placed yourself together again. He was there when you screamed in the middle of the night, and he was there when your eyes would flare dangerously with something more than hatred for the woman who had caused you such grief. You still barely wore skirts or shorts, opting to cover every inch you could whenever possible. Spencer watched as you struggled to stay put, mind wandering as far as it could. 

“Y/N?”

“Sorry. Sorry. Just…”

“I know. Spencer is flying home as we speak. I still wanted to call and let you know before hand. Just, uh…You know.” 

“Thanks Derek. I’ll see you soon.” 

It felt wicked. The smile that spreads across your face. And it felt even more devious when you pulled the bottle of champagne off of the shelf it was so beautifully perched on, waiting for a special occasion to pop its cork. 

You didn’t even grab a glass as you looked in the mirror, barely recognizing the person staring back at you. You toasted to yourself, swinging out of the bottle, enjoying as the bubbles slid down your throat as you pulled a chair out into the hallway. You unlocked the top cabinet above the fridge where your son could never reach, and pulled out the gun you used all those years ago. 

Sitting in front of the only door in or out, all windows locked. Your safety was off, and the champagne made you feel invincible as you stared at the door, just waiting for her to knock on your door again, giving you the satisfaction of the opportunity to hurt her the same way she had hurt you. 

Self control had never been your strong suit anyways. 

Live long enough to tell your sons Things you learned when you were young So maybe I can have some self-control

[queenie-official]

Chapter Three: ‘First Impressions’ Bridgerton au!Anakin

part 1, part 2

a/n: so the outfits that Obi-Wan and Ani are wearing are the ones in the photos ☝️🤭but guys tell me how i had more of chapter four planned out then i did this chapter 🤨 like i fr already had dialogue for chapter four before i even started this one 😀 anyway i hope you guys like this 🥰

Once more you find yourself pacing around in an endless circle. Today was the day you were to meet him. The wedding was already set to happen in a week. however invitations wouldn’t be handed out for another two days, the council told you it would be wise to get to know your future husband a bit first- but honestly how much could you really learn about a person in such a short amount of time. it’s not like you had a week to get to know each other, no you had the day to get to know him before he’d be back off to his own kingdom till the wedding.

“you need to calm down” Padme’s voice pulled you from your thoughts. you look over to where she’s sat on the settee, a concerned look on her face. you’d asked her to come over and help distract you. to her credit she did try at first but she quickly realized nothing she could say or do would occupy your mind from the days events. “i’m calm” you say trying to convince yourself that more then her. “if you can say that while standing still, i’ll believe you” she retorts whilst standing up and walking over to you forcing you to stop pacing as she places her hands on your shoulders.

“you can’t blame me for being nervous, i mean wether this goes well or not this is the man i am to spend the rest of my life with” you vent, feeling your anxiety swirl. you felt like this was an impossible situation, marrying someone you didn’t know. obviously it was a common thing but it didn’t make the reality of it any weirder to you. “what if he doesn’t want to marry me?” it was a stupid question, the better question would be why would he want to marry you. he was being moved away from his home to a foreign place with different traditions and cultures. not to mention an entirely different climate, you’d read up on Tatooine it was a Warm desert kingdom a direct contrast to Alderaan.

“that’s a possibility” Padme answers, not the reassurance you wanted but you didn’t call padme here because she would lie to make you feel better. you called her here because she would give it to you straight but also support you the best way she could. “so then i’ve forced a man into a loveless marriage” you huff, feeling anger course through you as your once again reminded of the councils rash decision that got you into this.

“most people these days end up in loveless marriages y/n. most women at least, we have no say in who we marry it’s all decided by our fathers.” that once again didn’t make you feel any better but it was the hard truth. “this is going to be a long day” you’d slump over if you could but the corset you had on prevented you from most movement that involved bending of any form. “maybe you’ll be pleasantly surprised” you could only hope she was right.

“i know it’s silly but growing up i always imagined marrying someone i fell in love with. my mom and dad where in love when they got married, a rare occurrence for monarchs. i always pictured having what they did.” you say sadly, it may not be the end of the world that your marrying a stranger but it was the end of that dream. a cruel awakening to your inner child. “it’s not silly, most little girls wish that” Padme says sympathetically.

“if my dad where still alive he’d have ensured it a reality” you say solemnly, feeling your heart tug at the thought. “Bail was a good man, a good king and a good father” you feel your eyes gloss over at her words, it was times like this you really missed him. your father was everything to you, he was all you had when your mother passed and vice versa. losing him felt like mourning two people at once, learning how to cope without your mother all over again in addition to coping without him.

“i miss him” it came out more as a whisper, you felt that if you spoke any louder the dam would break and tears would spill. Padme was quick to pull you into a tight hug. she was a big help when you lost him, a loyal friend who you knew would always be on your side. “i can’t help but feel i’m failing him” you let out the thought that had been nagging at the back of your mind throughout this whole ordeal. “he was and always will be proud of you” she said firmly, rubbing your back gently.

“would he be proud of me for this though?” you couldn’t help but ask. “circumstances changed y/n, you’ve done what you could. besides it’s not as if this was entirely your decision” she reassured you. you take a deep breath, indulging in the hug you both shared a moment longer before pulling away. “speaking of i really need to do something about the council before another reckless decision is made.”

“the sooner you’re crowned the Queen the better” she says with a laugh trying to lighten the mood, though she was being completely serious. right as you where about to respond your conversation was interrupted by Barclay barging in, an occurrence that was becoming more and more frequent with him.

“your majesty they’re here” he said and you stiffened, the reality of the situation crashing down onto you. you knew this was coming but it hadn’t truly felt real til now.

“oh i’m going to be sick” you mumble just loud enough for padme to hear, she gives you a gentle pat on the back a silent way of saying you’ve got this. as if suddenly reminded of her existence Barclay acknowledges her “Lady Amidala pleasure to see you” it surprisingly sounded genuine, though to be fair he had been sucking up to you the last couple days clearly something clicked in his mind that you where the one who controlled wether he actually had a job or not. that or there was something else motivating him either way his change in attitude didn’t sit right with you, something was off and you could sense it.

“Barclay” was all padme said to greet him not even bothering to turn in his direction to acknowledge him properly. you had to stifle a laugh, god you loved her. she kept her head high and walked right past him, she would be leaving through the gardens so no one knew she was there. the meeting was to be kept secret from everyone aside from the respective royal families.

with a sigh you nodded towards Barclay to signify you where ready. you both walked down the hallways heading to the main foyer, with each step you took you felt as if you where being pulled down. finding it harder and harder to move forward the closer you got. these where your last moments to breath without someone beside you- metaphorically of course, after all as a royal there’s always someone at least five steps from you which was tiring to say the least.

you could swear time was simultaneously moving faster then light and slower then molasses as you watched Barclay nod to the guards to open the doors that stand as the only barrier between you and the one you are to wed. it was hard to breath? but just as quick as the breath got stuck in you it was knocked right out as one of the guards rose there voice impossibly loud to announce your arrival.

“now presenting her Majesty, the Crown Princess Y/n Organa” it honestly made your ears ring but at the very least it served as a nice reminder of where you are and pulled you back down to earth. still it all felt a bit excessive to you considering there was only four people here excluding the guards.

Walking further in so that you and Barclay where now face to face with the two men, you scanned over them quickly. they both where good looking you had to admit, what threw you off though was how drastically different they where dressed from each other. for a moment you almost thought they came from two different places but quickly brushed that off knowing good and well that wasn’t the case.

“hel-“ just as you began to greet the two men you are quickly cut off by a third party you hadn’t even noticed was there. Chancellor Valorum. “greetings you are?” he said and you paused turning to see him standing behind you, how long had he been there? no one else seemed shocked so he must of been there for quite some time you concluded. but why was he there? deciding to act like you had known he was there you turn back to the two men. to your surprise the older looking one of the two directed his attention to you and not Valorum. it brought a small smile to your face, feeling like it was a nice change of pace finally be acknowledged instead of looked over.

“I am Prince Obi-Wan first born son of the Kingdom Tatooine. and this” he gestured to the pretty blonde beside him who could easily tower over you if he was close enough. “is my brother Anakin” he finished and you felt a little giddy, so far so good right? he was tall and handsome you could only hope he was kind and had a personality as good as he looked. though to your dismay the aforementioned man hadn’t even spared you a glance, thinking on it he hadn’t looked at you even when you first entered the room. that fact made your stomach twist.

“neither of your parents are joining us?” the chancellor spoke again before you could get a word in, honestly he was one more sentence away from you clocking him in the face. but you hold your breath and maintain your composure. this time Obi-Wan does acknowledge him but only to answer his question and you were guessing to not seem rude. “unfortunately our mother and father are quite busy but as the future king they deemed it enough for me to go with my brother for this” you felt like a child who could do nothing but watch as the grown ups speak as you look back and forth from the chancellor and him.

Thankfully Obi-Wan was quick to redirect his attention to you. “your highness shall we discuss matters more privately?” why couldn’t conversation with people of power always go this way, taking to you instead of over you. you give him a polite smile before answering. “yes let’s move this elsewhere” you say with a nod. “lead the way.” was all he said in turn.

as you all walk down the halls of the castle you can’t help but notice how quiet prince Anakin was. it worried you, was he always this quiet or was he choosing not to say anything. did he already hate you- to be fair if he did you wouldn’t blame him. if the roles where reversed and your kingdom had been basically black mailed into giving you up as marriage you’d probably hate the person you thought responsable as well. you found yourself actually wishing you two where alone so you could explain yourself and hope he could understand. Then again who’d say he’d believe you, it was worth a try though wasn’t it?

unsurprisingly throughout most of the meeting chancellor Valorum spoke for you any chance he could. and just as in the foyer Obi-Wan directed his answers to you. time dragged as you guys finished up flushing out the details of the agreement more thoroughly. it was all so casual and you couldn’t help but feel sick especially with Anakin sitting right there not saying a word. you couldn’t even get a read on his emotions his face was a blank slate. it made you anxious and you weren’t sure if you wanted to just hurry up and get all of this over already or drag it out longer so you could procrastinate the inevitable.

it was evident just how long the meeting had taken when you were met with the setting sun as you looked out the window. a panic ran through you when you realized you had no time at all to talk Anakin now and the next time you’d see him would be the day of the wedding. you where now truly going into this marriage blind- not that you would of learned much about him today regardless but anything would be better than nothing.

closing up the meeting with a handshake between the chancellor and Obi-Wan, even though he had clearly held his hand out for you- you all stand up and head out of the meeting room.

Anakin had still yet to say a word, Obi-Wan being the one to speak on both there behalf’s when saying goodbye. even as they walked away you watched as he didn’t even speak to his brother, maybe he was mad and his silence was the politest protest he could do. you could only hope your whole marriage wouldn’t be like this, what an awkward life that would be. though maybe you’d get used to it at some point.

all of these thoughts swimming in your head stopped as a pair of blue eyes met yours, it was brief and for a second you thought you’d imagined it. he had look back at you right before the castle doors closed.

that’s all you had to go off of until you would meet again for the wedding day.

part 4

okay guys the next chapter will feature a lot more Anakin and yes the pretty boy will speak 🥰 this took me forever to finish 😀 mainly because i’ve been writing this in between doing work 👩‍🦯👩‍🦯 anyways i hope you all like this chapter i know it was a lot more emotional then the others but reader is going through a lot at once 😭 side note i love reading your reply’s you guys are funny and real asf🤭 that’s all i have to say for now enjoy huns Xx<3

tag list: @luvvfromme @gatekeepingirlboss

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Hugs for a Vampire (Astarion x GN!Reader) - Chapter 14: After Defeating Cazador

Chapter 14: After Defeating Cazador

Each chapter can be read as a standalone hug.

Pairing: Astarion x GN!Reader (Rogue!Tav)

Genre: Fluffy, Filling in Canon

Rating: Teen

Tags: Gender-Neutral Pronouns, POV Second Person, Act 3, Canon-typical violence, Astarion's coping mechanisms, Astarion's quest, cw: Astarion's trauma

WC: 3.1k words, 14/18 chapters

Summary: Set in Act 3, the conclusion of the Pale Elf questline, Rogue!Tav needs to find just the right moment to support Astarion.

Author's Note: Bringing over my same note from AO3, since this was the chapter, the one that inspired this series all the way back in September.

I, like many, wanted to just jump in and give Astarion a hug. But as someone who relates all too deeply to Astarion, I felt like it was his time to just let it all out. And when a wound is that raw? To me, it’s all about timing. Naturally a disclaimer that everyone heals differently, wants different things, and this is colored a lot by my own experiences/attitudes! I just wanted to explain a bit of my reasoning behind this hug.

Ao3 | [Hug13][Hug15] | Hugs for a Vampire Masterlist

You’ve all but done it. One more well-placed dagger and your team has defeated a vampire lord in his own lair, his cruel ritual stopped in its diabolical tracks.

Or at least you hope it’s been stopped. Astarion is looking at you, eyes pleading with you in a desperate frenzy you've not seen before. “I can do this, but I need your help.”

“Astarion,” you start, his name nearly choking you. You’re not a paragon of good or a champion of righteousness. You’re just another Baldurian rogue who got caught up in this tangled mess of mind flayers and gods. So you weren’t lying when you told your lover you would consider this. You’ve thought long and hard about this, you’ve lost sleep over this, and, ultimately, you know you cannot let him go through with this. “If I help you complete this ritual, these people will all die.”

“These people died years ago, trust me on that,” he says dismissively, as if these lives are just a few gold pieces at the bottom of a stolen pouch. “All that’s left are feral spawn, desperate for blood.”

However, you see these words for the truth of them: he sees himself in these spawn. He hates that he sees himself. When you respond, you can barely hear your own voice through the pounding in your ears, the panic coursing through you. “They don’t need to be desperate nor feral if they’re given a means of survival. They just want to live, like you do.”

Astarion bristles at that, and his next words come out angry, “And if we release them, how many people will they kill? Tens of thousands? Hundreds of thousands?” 

His questions aren’t meant to be answered, you know that much– He’s justifying his actions, to you and to himself. That doesn’t stop you from answering his line of rhetorical questioning, “You don’t know what they will do, none of us do.”

Your words fall on deaf ears, as his mouth catches up to the arguments he has readily prepared for your hesitation. “If they die and I ascend, I won’t have to rely on the parasite to walk in the sun. I’ll be free – truly, completely free.” Astarion sounds so blissful, on his tongue is a taste of that ephemeral happiness that he’s been so fervently chasing. It tugs at your heartstrings, plucking at them expertly in a way that only a master manipulator like him can. “Isn’t that what you want?” His tone challenges you to deny his happiness, and clarity hits you like a ton of bricks.

He’s reverted back to his old, guarded self. He’s the Astarion you met on a ravaged beach, the man who wanted to leave an entire grove of tieflings for dead to save himself, who tried to seduce you for protection. And you’re not about to let this moment reshape him into someone you know he isn’t. Not truly.

You look into Astarion’s eyes, those ruby pools that have drawn you in so very many times over the last few months. Over your travels, you’ve caught his eyes many times, read his worries, felt his love. These are the eyes you know most intimately, deeply– and as your own eyes dart between them, you see him as genuinely as you ever will.

You see fear, of course– it’s what’s driven him here, it’s as much as he said when you faced Petras. He wants a way to keep himself and you safe. But beyond that you see a ravenous hunger, more than any thirst for blood or craving for gold. That hunger, born of blood, of power, of freedom, is clouding everything else. It’s up to you to dissipate those clouds.

“I know you think this will set you free,” you start, delivering each word deliberately. “But it won’t. It will only trap you. Just like it trapped Cazador.” As if to prove your point, you turn to the pathetic mess of a man on the floor.

Some vampire lord he is now, groveling in front of Astarion, realizing that his poisoned words have done nothing to change his “favorite” spawn’s mind. His body has already been beaten, his face bloodied, his elegant clothing torn to shreds. And his utterly pitiful, earthly appearance says more than words ever could.

Astarion looks down upon his former master, considering your words. You see his eyes glint with steel as he turns back to you, and you hold your breath as you wait for his response.

“You… you’re right. I can be better than him,” he says, and your heart clenches in sheer relief. Turning back to Cazador with his signature wicked smirk, he continues, “But I'm not above enjoying this.”

You watch as your friend, your companion, your lover repeatedly drives Cazador’s own twisted blade against him. Each stab is punctuated by a wrenching, guttural cry, Astarion’s face contorted with a rage even the hells would fear. Cazador’s body grows limp, and Astarion continues to stab. You lose count of how many expertly executed stabs he delivers, but you can’t bring yourself to look away. You need to watch, to witness his blood-stained hands grant his own deliverance.

Releasing one final world-rending scream, he pulls the blade out, stumbling back. You know he’s done, in every sense of the word. Head turned up to the heavens, to the very gods who have never heard his pleas, he cries out– a heart-wrenching scream, mixed with a heavy sob– before his body collapses to the ground.

Your body instinctively moves toward him, your heart screaming to help him, to hold him, to be there for him. But a warm hand clamps on your shoulder and you look back. Karlach’s fiery yellow eyes lock with yours and she silently shakes her head at you. No, soldier, her eyes say. He needs this.

And despite your heart’s protestations, despite your eyes welling with burning hot tears, your head agrees. So you wait.

Astarion’s body trembles, a slow heaving wracking his frame. Sobs build up and burst out in a series of cries, each more painful than the last. Tears stream down your own face as you feel his visceral pain, but you stay back. And even as his cries petter out, you don’t step forward. It’s not your moment to have, there will be time for you to hold him, to cry with him, but not now.

Before that moment can arrive, the spawn around you are released from their magic bindings, Cazador’s hold on them finally worn off. Despite their predicament, they seem no worse for wear. Sweaty, tired, half-naked, but whole. Above all else, they seem… confused. They’re almost too scared to approach the hunched, blood-soaked man kneeling before their former master, but Dal takes the initiative.

“Is… is it over?” she asks, tentatively. “Is he…?”

Astarion takes a few shuddering breaths before collecting himself, rising to his feet slowly. “Yes,” he says, voice thick with lingering tears. “He’s gone.”

Petras looks about with uncertainty. For the first time in decades, he’s expected to think for himself and it’s clearly going to be an adjustment. Concerned, he asks, “What does that mean for us?”

You stand there, watching your lover. So many emotions run through you that you can’t even catch them all. Sorrow, concern, but most of all: Pride. He’s free now, to do whatever he wants, to be whomever he wants. And as his siblings look to him for leadership, he faces them head-on. A lump forms in your throat as you wait for his answer. 

“It means you have a choice,” he says, staring at Petras squarely. “You can hide here, living in the shadows like parasites. Or you can be more than what he made us to be.” Astarion’s voice lightens at the end, his preference clear in his tone. His entire demeanor shifts back to his usual, poised self and he stands a bit straighter, as if he’s making the decision for himself as he speaks. “You can choose differently, of course. But the consequences are on your head.”

Dal looks beyond him, up to the cells where the rest of the spawn sit trapped. “And… what does it mean for them?”

“Ah, now that is a question,” Astarion says, looking down at Cazador’s winding, red staff. He contemplates openly, and you know it’s alright to provide another small push.

“Let’s release them,” you say, clearing your throat a bit as you swallow your last tears. “They deserve the same chance you got.”

“You’re right,” he says, with a nod. Another wave of relief washes over you, as he doesn’t even hesitate to agree this time. “The poor wretches in the cells are innocent. They shouldn’t have to suffer just because I… lured them here.” You merely nod back– you wish you could say that his actions weren’t his own, that he needn’t feel the guilt any more, but you know that’s beyond this moment. That he will need to sit with the events of the day for a while, and that you shall sit there with him as long as he needs.

Astarion grabs Cazador’s staff, inspecting it for a moment before striking it into the ground in one powerful movement. A red, pulsing light emanates from it, filling the room with an eerie glow before you all hear the loud ka-thunk of the cell doors releasing their prisoners. 

You all turn in unison to look, before Astarion speaks to his siblings, “They’ll need someone to lead them. Take the tunnels into the Underdark, find somewhere… well, not safe. But less perilous?”

“What? No, we can’t–” Petras protests immediately.

Astarion raises a bloody hand to stop him. “Just try to keep them out of trouble.”

Dalyria, taking charge in the face of her sibling’s flustered looks, nods and ushers the rest of the spawn toward the cells, the 7,000 newly-released waiting for them. You watch them leave in a solemn silence.

After they’ve climbed the stairs and carried on, leaving your field of vision, Astarion turns back to your small party. “I… I think we’re done here.” he says, setting his face into a hard expression. “Let’s go.”

Your group turns away, allowing Astarion a moment of privacy to put his armor back on, to wipe some of the blood off his hands, to collect himself. 

As he rejoins your party, your companions perk up, sensing their opportunity to provide their support. Karlach claps him on the back softly, looking at him with pure admiration on her face. “Good work, Astarion.” 

He shies away from her, a bit of embarrassment coloring the tips of his ears. “Thank you, I suppose.”

Shadowheart nods to him in approval. “You did the right thing, Astarion. Some sacrifices aren’t worth it,” she says. Her own silver hair is a testament to her words.

Astarion, knowing her place of understanding, nods back wordlessly. It’s the most they will get from him for now, and they set off to lead your path out of this decrepit place.

As you begin to walk, you turn to your lover, still wanting to offer him a modicum of comfort, to embrace him and tell him it will all be alright. But his expression is vacant. When you nudge him gently he only says, “That’s it. He’s… he’s gone.”

You remain silent, waiting for him to continue.

“After all these years– these centuries– it’s really over.” The awe in his voice is unmistakable. But more so, the uncertainty, similar to Petras’ own, has settled in. Now that he's back, safe with you and your group, his vulnerability is peaking through.

“How do you feel?” you ask, broaching the subject that’s been worrying you the most.

“I’m… I’m not sure,” he says, honestly. “I feel a little numb.”

An entirely reasonable reaction, albeit not one that you can fix. But you don’t need to fix it, just listen for now. You nod, encouraging him to continue.

“What I’ve lost,” he sounds wistful, but looks sideways at you with a small smile. “What I’ve gained. It’s all so much.”

You smile at him, appreciating that even in this moment, he sees you, he weighs you against all that he’s lost and he smiles. “It’s a lot to take in,” you agree. “Even under the best of circumstances.”

“And gods. All those spawn. Free in the Underdark,” he breathes out and looks ahead at where those spawn are inevitably fleeing Cazador’s lair. “I need some time, I think. Just to let it all sink in.”

As much as you want to hold him, to tell him how proud you are of him, to crush him under your weight for days on end just to make sure he’s here, he’s safe, he’s still himself– you know it still isn’t the right moment. So you just say, “Take all of the time that you need, my love. I’ll be here, you know I will.”

Looking into his eyes, you see the weary gaze of a man whose entire existence was just up-ended. His eyes are still rimmed with red from his tears, and you see more moisture gathering as he turns away. “L-let’s just go.” He continues walking forward, picking up his pace. “This place reeks of death and I want to feel alive again.”

With nothing left to say, you follow him and your companions up and out of the yawning pit of Cazador’s dungeons.

The entire walk, Astarion’s shoulders remain tense, his face guarded and closed off from the world, from you. It’s still not time, you think. 

Before you make your escape, you encounter the Gur once more. You talk to them as you reach the rising platform, and, while he vehemently defends his choices, Astarion still seems so very reserved. In the back of your head, you can’t help but feel like you haven’t done enough. That perhaps the time was right at some point, but you missed your moment to comfort him, to be there for him. Either way, it’s not right now.

You all pile on to the elevator, leaving the bloody mess of Cazador, of Vellioth before him, to be swallowed by the earth. Walking through the mansion’s halls, Astarion remains quiet. You periodically check to make sure he’s still there, but of course he is– he makes his own choices now and he wants to be here. He’s just deeply in thought, beyond you for now. You must wait for him.

The group passes barren walls, each of Cazador’s tacky paintings stolen hours ago– by a much cheerier band of adventurers, you can’t help but think. But you wouldn’t trade places with your past selves for anything, because this group is still together, still has their souls intact. This group will get through this and live to steal many, many more paintings from evil wretches like Cazador. 

After following your own path back to the entrance, you can sense Astarion’s unease building, his body fighting an unseen battle. Turning to look at him, you see that he’s not looking back, not looking forward, rather staring down at the ground ahead of him. 

You hang back, wondering what’s the matter but, before you can ask, he offers, “I hate this place. So why does it feel like my feet are made of lead?”

A hard heartbeat pounds your chest. You don’t know how to respond, or if it’s even your place to do that. Instead you pose a question back, “Do you want me to stay behind with you for a moment?”

He shakes his head harshly. “No,” the word comes out softly, despite the grimace on his face. “I’m just… frustrated. He’s gone, but it’s like I still feel his claws on me.”

Karlach and Shadowheart pause ahead, at the door you entered through on the battlements. “Soldier?” Karlach calls, raising a single eyebrow at you. One of her hands is placed on the doorknob, a simple turn away from the outdoors. 

Ah, that might help, you think. “Could you open the door? It’s rather dark in here, it would be nice to illuminate a path for Astarion.”

The large tiefling woman complies with a grunt, swinging the door open at a brutal force. If you weren’t so focused on Astarion’s face, you might have laughed at her eager show of help. As it is, your eyes are trained on the vampire’s face, reading each line carefully as the door opens. 

Daylight streams in, cutting through the musty halls of Szarr Palace, illuminating the dancing dust particles in the air. Astarion’s head cranes up, away from the ancient carpet he’d been fixated on a moment before. Like he’s been jolted from an uncomfortable slumber, he shakes his stupor off, placing one foot in front of another until he’s crossed the threshold of the place he’d perversely called home for two centuries. 

Something about the way he stands strong, the way his chest puffs out, reignites the pride that wells within you. You follow behind him closely, as if you might protect him from the darkness he’s leaving behind. 

It’s when he’s well and truly in the sunlight outside that you see the markings of the day on him, in blood smeared across his face, the tired creases of his eyes. Infiltrating the palace, finding the 7,000 spawn, facing his tormentor– all of it catches up to him now that he’s left the cold grip of Cazador’s clutches. 

Astarion’s shoulders slump, his eyes close, and his head tilts up to the warmth of the sun, as he takes a deep inhale of the fresh air. Like a cat basking in the glorious remnants of daylight through a window, he looks to remain until there’s not even a sliver of light left.

You turn to Karlach and Shadowheart, who are looking on with unsure expressions. Waving a hand out at them, you signal that you’ll meet them downstairs. They slip away wordlessly, leaving you and Astarion alone, perched atop of the battlements of Baldur’s Gate.

No words pass between you when he finally opens his eyes. They’re even more crimson in the sunlight, and the emotions swimming in them are inscrutable. One thing is for certain though, now is your chance to hold him, to comfort him.

You hold your arms out to him, an open invitation. Astarion looks at them then looks up at you, eyes brimming with fresh new tears. He shuts his eyes closed once more, hot streaks silently running down his face, and steps into your welcoming embrace. Warmth, release, relief– his feelings are your own, as you hold each other. And so, feeling the weight of the decisions you’ve made that day, in the very sunlight he’s given up, you cry in each other's arms.

[nerdieforpedro]

Fare Well

For @wannab-urs Hozier Song Drabble Challenge

Dieter Bravo x plus size female reader (Sweet Pea)

This fic is for those 18+ MDNI

Word Count: about 1.8k (Yeah so…I went past Drabble 👀)

Summary: Dieter has been working so hard. He still has an issue that might be because of his mind. What can he do about it? Do anything else.

Warnings: unhealthy coping, sexual dysfunction, sex work, teasing, pet names, sexual activity (actual and implied I think? I should know. 🙃)

Notes: I listened to this song 5 times in a row because I didn’t really listen to Hozier (now I do). The color this fic is purple or violet, whichever you wanna say it. 💜 I bolded lyrics I was able to put in the fic. 🤗 Thanks to Gin for giving me two Dieter fics to write back to back. ☺️ That little trash panda is always so giving.

Main Masterlist / Dieter Bravo Masterlist / Writing Challenge

Tapping his foot on his hardwood floors, Dieter Bravo is in an all too familiar place. He’s been purposely busy. Keeping occupied except for when he’s completely exhausted has kept him out of trouble, even in the tabloids. People are saying he’s changed for the better. He knows he’s keeping clean, keeping in the straight and narrow.

Bravo has run into a snag on his progress.

The last few paintings had done well in gallery showing, even selling for double than asking price, his last movie was well reviewed. These are both very good things, wonderful. He’s happy, proud even. Bravo is having plenty of sex, mountains of it. In his head. Reality has played out much differently. All this work he’s doing, he hasn’t been able to chase a different high. One he’s used to replace the drugs. It wasn’t that he couldn’t find people to have sex with. He’s been more careful about it, not something he’s been concerned about prior to his new leaf. In doing so, acts he’d normally attempt weight more heavily on his mind and keep little Dee from swelling when needed. Bravo knows the rumor that might be going around but it’s not true! Since his mind is clearer, he actually thinks about who he’s having sex with more and little D isn’t always on board. You know, one of those words his therapist mentioned – cognitive dissonance except it’s happening with his partner in pleasure little D. Big D when he’s feeling in the mood.

He knows he could just go to one of those discreate clubs, seek his needs out there, but he always assumed he wouldn’t need one. The Oscar Winner keeps looking for different projects, in his studio trying out new paints, trying to learn the saxophone (it was a bad idea, but sounded great at three in the morning when he called his assistant and told him what to buy), he then went to a spin class and damn near passed out after fifteen minutes and tried a cooking class but was kicked out for causing an oil fire.

Nothing was working so he called and asked to stop by, check the place out. The owner of course said that was fine – he’s Dieter Bravo, they’d love to have him. Dieter told the owner,

“I’ll take any high. Any glazin’ of the eyes. Any solitary pleasure that masks my sorrow. No drugs though, I’m not willing to backslide over it.”

The owner said they understood and had the perfect person for him.

So now Dieter waits in this room. It’s an array of different purples well violets since this is a more classy place. He wanted to undress to his boxers but was told by the front desk to leave them on. He did remove his shoes, socks and jacket, but otherwise he’s dressed. Simple black slacks and a white button-down shirt that had bellowing sleeves with a deep v-cut exposing his chest down to his sternum. He felt like dressing up a bit but still kept it simple, most of the clientele were in suits and dresses that Dieter saw. Soft guitar music played in the background, he closed his eyes as he waited curious who they might have matched him with based on what he asked for.

Dieter heard the clicking of heels first. Then smelled a deep woodsy fragrance, it approached slowly, matching the pace of the heels. They stopped in front of him and he caught hints of citrus and a flower. Using his aquiline nose to sniff closer to the source, feeling body heat radiating from whoever was in front of him. “It’s faint but you smell like a sweet pea.” He released a deep breath he’d been building from taking in and trying to identify the different components of their scent.

“Welcome Mr. Bravo. I hope my fragrance invokes pleasant memories. I’m told you want to rid yourself of sorrow. Correct?” The voice embraced him as soft fingers coiled around his neck, thumbs pressing into his chin.

“Yes, please. I need to forget, just for a bit. Then I might be able to get my body to function properly. Everything is fine, great even.” He kept his eyes closed and he felt them. Lips on his forehead, warm and plush. They lingered, “Can I touch you, please?” No answer was given as hands left his neck and were placed on each side of a torso. His palms roamed slowly tracing the lace that wrapped the body he had in his hands.

The lips left his forehead and he was tempted to reach for them, but kept his eyes closed, he would wait, trying to keep his breathing even. “Is this alright Mr. Bravo or do you want someone who might-“Dieter wildly shook his head.

“Don’t you go anywhere Sweet Pea. Stay right here with me. Just like this. Maybe more. Can I look at you?” He pulled the body toward him, sniffing more. “Call me Dieter. Mr. Bravo is the one having issues with his little D.” He made himself chuckle knowing what a stupid joke it was. Fingertips graced his cheek and tipped his chin upward.

“Look at me Dieter. How do you want me to drown your sorrows tonight? I usually go by Violet due to the room, but I like Sweet Pea when you say it. It makes me sound cute.” The giggle from this celestial being has Dieter wondering if she’ll still giggle if he’s buried between her legs. He wouldn’t need to come up for air, just search for what would be his reward: her moans and his tongue squeezed by her pelvic muscles. His palms ran around to her back, feeling the different rolls of her body.

“I want to see if I’m going to go into a coma from drowning in your nectar Sweet Pea. Can I be your first casualty? If I was going to go, I’d want to be surrounded by thick thighs and a woman’s cries I offer her.” Slipping her left heel off, Sweet Pea places her leg on the bed beside Dieter’s right leg. His hand slowly makes its way across the curve of her wide ass to her thigh, his large fingers dipping into the small holes of the fishnets, tugging on them. “Let me show you gorgeous.”

Smiling, Sweet Pea gives his lips a quick peck before bending to reach between his legs, “Seems just the thought is enough Dieter. Why come to me? I’m sure you’ve got many offers, especially if you’re asking like that.” She lowers her leg and stands back up, turning her back to him but looking over her shoulder to meet his eyes. The glint in them makes her lick her lips, she could ask him to do it, just to see if he will. Given how desperate he is, he might. He won’t say it, but his body betrays him, he said that ‘little D’ was having trouble but that didn’t seem to be the case at all from what she felt. Maybe it’s the scents, the atmosphere and that what happens here will remain here until he comes back. She crosses the room and drops her black thong, stepping out of it and her other heel, sitting on a violet velvet loveseat with her legs open wide. “This is what you want right Dieter?” Her elbows are on her knees with one hand beckoning him. “Come to me, but undress and crawl.”

Bravo doesn’t want control right now, nor does he want to think. He just wants to act, to perform. In this moment, he isn’t thinking about how lonely he is or how his career could crumble on some whim of culture or random video. There’s only this purple room he can melt into as he removes his clothes, making himself bare to Sweet Pea. Dieter’s actually hard, dripping onto her carpet as he lowers himself onto the floor on all fours. His knees are burning as he makes his way across the padded carpet. It’s worth his goal though, into her tender folds. “You like to see a man work, huh Sweet Pea? That’s more than fine.” Halfway there, his bobbing swollen cock made a mess of the carpet and his belly. Upon reaching her, he placed his hands on her knees and looked up to her, balancing himself on his knees so little D was at full attention. He wanted to show her what she’d been able to bring out of him so far. Something changed though, he was smiling but Violet recognized it. She used her fingers to rub circles into his biceps and shoulders before tracing the pronounced vein on his neck.

“You adorable man. This isn’t what you want. At least not now. You can’t seem to decide between the two Dieter.” Fingers run through his hair, and he knows she’s right but couldn’t she had said so after he’d had his fill, hear her cries?

“You’re not wrong, but I still need this. Need you.” He dipped his head to nibble on her thigh and she hummed but pushed his head back. In standing, she also helped him to his feet and brought him back to the bed, removing her lace corset and climbed on the bed.

“From behind, I’m not going to have your tears dripping where I can watch while you fuck me.” Now Sweet Pea was on all fours and Dieter’s sorrow returned. It was inescapable, but he wanted to see her face. He could block it off, just for a short while he tried to get the sunshine.

“No, I need to see how your face changes as you take me.” Crawling across the bed behind her, he pulled her back flush to his chest and turned her chin over her shoulder, capturing her lips. Slipping his tongue in, the warmth felt good. He hadn’t had it in months, he didn’t know why now, in this place with her, but he’d accept it. All of it. “Pleasure to mask my sorrow is why I’m here, Sweet Pea. Have me bask in the sun.”

Their kiss broke as Sweet Pea turned to put her arms around his shoulders, kissing his forehead once again as Dieter laid back on the bed, she fell forward as he took her hair out of the high ponytail it had been in. Her hair fell around her face, her wet folds grazed his shaft and he moaned. “I’ll be your dawn until the light shines on you Dieter.”

Coming unbound, feeling elated and devastated when he had to leave, Dieter had been able to bury his sorrow in pleasure for a time. Another appointment was made for later in the week. To quote Bravo, “I’ll deny me none while I’m allowed because I wouldn’t fare well.”

Bad ideas that Dieter could use: @katw474 @readingiskeepingmegoing @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @megamindsecretlair @pamasaur @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @sp00kymulderr @mysterious-moonstruck-musings @titlee78 @tinytinymenace @magpiepillsjunior @soft-girl-musings @morallyinept @rhoorl @survivingandenduring @missladym1981 @yorksgirl @heareball @laurfilijames @maggiemayhemnj

[maplewozapi]

Hey there! I hope this isn’t too repetitive of the questions you’ve been asked and if you’re getting sick of people trying to approach you as some expert indigenous consultant you can feel free to ignore this ask ^^;

But I’m genuinely curious as you’ve brought up Dreamworks’ Spirit SOTC a few times on this blog. I’d like to know your thoughts as to whether you think Spirit has a relatively accurate potrayal of its Lakota characters, at least in terms of avoiding stereotypes.

I’m also asking because I have a few big ass Google Docs for a complete rewrite of Spirit Riding Free (never mind how shitty that series is in terms of its pro colonialism and making its single token indigenous character a damsel in distress for the colonists to save) that instead involves Spirit’s foals befriending Little Creek’s son. Sooo… I know this is a super broad ass question but do you have any general tips for correctly portraying Lakota people during the late 1800’s? (Which is apparently when Riding Free takes place as does my rewrite considering how long it takes after the first movie). And like suggestions on handling heavy topics like reservations and how indigenous people would interact with settlers during this time period? Also a lot of my characters’ names (I have characters named Takoda, Mika, Akecheta, Chumani, etc..) are just pulled from websites I found from Google but even to this day idk how authentic those are.

Sorry again if this is too excessive and seems like I’m trying to pull research info from one single person and again you’re completely free to ignore this ask if it’s repetitive. But this Riding Free rewrite is a passion project me and my mutuals have had literally since 2019 and I thought it’d help if I at least had some input on it from an actual indigenous artist ^^;

Personally my main issue with film is that fucking general george custer is the villain and is sympathetic by the end of the movie. And the seen in the village and everyone is actually speak Lakota in the background but the little girl is like “horsie” and little creeks stink pigtails instead of braids.

And I’m not going into much of the details because I promised myself I would start charging people who want consulting.

But I’ll say the 1800s and the forced immigration to reservations are not pretty and traumatizing for native people. For example of the movie killers of the flower moon with involvement of the native people, actors learning some of the language, the movie still was made for a white audience and was sympathetic to the white murders. (And fucking traumatic)

So I don’t necessarily have a the best outlook on nonnative projects especially when it deals with such traumatic situations and could end up more traumatizing then the thing that was originally written. You’re potentially writing something about peoplesl grandparents and the generational trauma people have to cope with. The 1880s weren’t very long ago they were still forcing people on to reservations up until the 1950s. Look up “Indian acts/treaties” I think the story that totally disgusts me is the story of Ishi of the Yana tribe. To this day I can’t believe they destroyed his body but preserved his brain for the university. He wasn’t even the last member of his tribe they just killed his whole family, and the tribe didn’t get him back until 2000. Not only did they take our land, our people, but they dissect us. Idk if I can see anyone who isn’t native have the grace to touch upon those things. ALSO those names are nonsensical don’t google Lakota names or native names in general, they do not mean what they state and google says they’re Dakota? You’re writing Lakota characters there’s a difference. Akcheta and chumní are pretty normal names, but also idk if these are horse names or human names BECAUSE THERES DIFFERENT NAMING CONVENTIONS FOR HORSES

[missywritesfor7]

❤️‍🩹Lifeline | MYG❤️‍🩹

Synopsis: It’s long been controversial for idols to date, but idols dating each other can be really beautiful or a complete nightmare. When Yoongi's relationship with another idol is discovered, he decides maybe it’s time to break the taboo and show people it’s ok for idols to date. Instead, they find themselves caught in the midst of one media frenzy after another and struggle to keep their relationship as strong as it had been the past 2 years. Yoongi finds a self destructive way to cope, and it causes even more problems than it solves. As they fight for their relationship and their careers, they discover that sometimes, the only way to truly be free is to let go.

Pairing: idol!Yoongi x idol!OC

Warnings: nsfw, alcoholism, cheating, depression, anxiety, Yoongi goes through a bisexy ho phase, Yoongi is also in his alcoholic phase, post-military BTS

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Ch. 21: Look Up

Hyeri was released from the hospital a day later. Her manager took her home and made sure she had all she needed including a few doses of epinephrine in case she has another allergic reaction.

Minho came by to check on Yoongi that same morning and was relieved to see that he’d been doing just fine. Yoongi seemed brighter than he’d ever been these past two months. Hyeri updated him on everything that was happening and he didn’t feel the need to press or prod her more until he was convinced she was truly ok. He’s just happy to hear from her. He admitted to Minho that forgiving himself is something he may struggle with for awhile, but he’s determined to do so and get back to his normal life.

It was a good light talk, until he began talking about Army. He went back and read more comments on his Weverse post and he couldn’t stop smiling at the love, support, and occasional jokes that were being left by fans. He knew he missed them these past couple of months, but as he was talking to Minho he realized that he misses them more because he barely remembers much of the tour. He was so drunk it’s like he wasn’t there at all. Instead of months, it feels like years since he was truly able to be with and enjoy Army’s presence. It hurts him, but makes him more determined to get back home making music and performing. Talking about Army made him emotional, but going back to read their comments gave him strength.

The next day Yoongi started off with making breakfast as he usually does. He makes himself a cup of coffee then enjoys the breeze outside. He’s gotten used to the peaceful mornings here. As much as he wants to go home, he knows he’ll miss this place. That’s why he’s trying to enjoy the view while he has it. That is until his silence is broken by his phone ringing from a call from Hyeri.

“Hey!” He says answering the call.

“YOONGI OH MY GAWDDD!!!” She shouts into the phone.

“What? What?!” He shouts trying to determine if this is a good call or a bad call.

“I GOT IT BABY I GOT THE PART OHMIGAWWWDDDD!!!”

“You got the part?!” He asks in excitement. “Really??”

“They just called me HOLY SHIT!!” She shouts unable to contain her excitement. “This is HUGE YOONGI I CANT BELIEVE I GOT IT!!”

“That’s amazing! I’m so proud of you my love!”

“It’s so crazy FUCK JJS FOR TRYING TO KEEP ME FROM DOING THIS AUDITION!!” Hyeri laughs then takes a deep breath. “I’m going to play this role so fucking good they’ll wish they had treated me better!”

“You got this, baby!” He encourages. “Just don’t forget me when you get big and famous.”

“Oh stop,” she laughs. “I’ll be lucky to come even close to your level of stardom.”

“Be careful, people may think you’re trying to use me to boost your career,” he jokes.

“Whatever,” she playfully huffs. “They think I’m using Namjoon for my career, remember?”

“Right,” he rolls his eyes. “Your lunch with him had the world going crazy although I’m the one who asked him to do it.” It’s such a stupid thing, but he finds it amusing how the public can turn a simple birthday lunch into confirmation of a relationship.

“Maybe one day I’ll just lose my shit and shout to the world that I’m with you,” she chuckles.

“Oh really? You mean like I wanted to do before when the picture of us was posted?”

“I know I know, don’t start.”

“I’m not.”

“Believe it or not I’ve changed a lot since then.”

“Really? So are you saying you want to reveal our relationship to the public?” He’s intrigued since she fought so hard to keep things a secret. This is the first time she’s suggested they go public.

“Well…” she hesitates. “Yeah, but…maybe after this new drama comes out. I don’t want to be a distraction, you know?”

“I wish I was recording this conversation,” he jokes.

“I mean it,” she laughs. “I want everyone to know. I don’t even care anymore. I’d rather they talk shit about me for the truth rather than talk shit about me and my friends over lies.”

“Na Hyeri? Is that still you?”

“Shut up!” She laughs. “I wish I could throw something at you.”

“Go ahead, I’ll send you my location.”

“You know I can’t stand you, right?”

“I love you too, Bow.”

Their banter continues until Hyeri has to go to a meeting with her agency. She promises to call him when she’s back home and she does just that. Their conversations get longer and more frequent each day. The better Yoongi feels, the more determined he is to get home. He’s trying to not get impatient, but it’s hard when he feels better than ever and he misses her so much.

Minho has been reporting back to management regularly to let them know how he feels about Yoongi’s progress. Everyone is happy to hear how well things are going and even happier when Minho says he recommends allowing Yoongi to finally go home. He’ll continue regular counseling sessions with Yoongi, but isolation is no longer necessary.

Management began making plans to bring Yoongi home and resume activities with the group. They notified all of the members and they were all incredibly excited. They then let Yoongi know he would be going home soon, however they didn’t say when because they wanted to finalize some things. Yoongi isn’t sure what needs to be finalized, but he’s just happy to know he’ll finally be going home.

Two days later Yoongi wakes up in the morning to the sound of someone rustling around in the kitchen. He assumes the manager taking him back decided to make breakfast before they set out on the 5 hour ride back. He lays there a moment longer, checks his phone, then goes into the bathroom to freshen up.

When he steps out of the room and towards the kitchen, he notices the plates of fresh fruit, sliced salmon, and veggies on the counter. Then he realizes the manager whose back is turned toward him isn’t a manager at all.

“Hyeri?” He asks blinking to make sure he’s seeing straight.

“Morning, babe,” Hyeri says turning and smiling. Yoongi may not have been able to tell, but the moment she saw him her heart skipped a beat. She’s missed him and her entire body can feel it.

“What are you doing here?” He asks stepping to her and pulling her into a tight embrace.

“I was just in the neighborhood and decided to stop by,” she jokes returning his squeeze.

“I missed you so much,” he says giving her lips a passionate kiss. He feels like it’s been so long he almost forgot how soft her lips are and how much his heart races when he’s connected to them.

“I missed you too.” She goes in for another kiss, and another, giving him little oxygen.

They can’t take their hands or lips off of one another until the smell of burning sausage reminds Hyeri that she was in the middle of cooking. She quickly turns the stove off and Yoongi helps her dispose of the charred remains. They laugh it off then sit down to eat the rest of the meal she prepared. Yoongi is so excited to show her how beautiful this place is so he insisted that they eat outside where he usually has breakfast.

“When did you get here?” Yoongi asks still feeling like he’s in a dream.

“Last night,” Hyeri giggles.

“Last night? How?? Where??”

“I stayed in a hotel nearby. I wanted to surprise you with breakfast,” she smiles. “I had been thinking of visiting you for a day since everyone said you were doing well, but they said you were coming home so I thought I’d be the one to come pick you up.”

“Pick me up? You drove 5 hours to get here?”

“Yes,” she laughs at the cute and comical disbelief written across his face. “I was able to get in contact with your manager and tell him I wanted to surprise you, so I asked if I could come pick you up, and I asked if maybe I could stay here with you for just one night before we go back.”

“Stay the night?” He perks up with excitement.

“Yeah,” she nods. “We haven’t really had a trip to ourselves like this before. So I thought this may be our only chance for a while. The schedule for my drama is pretty intense and goes at least 4 months. I know you would be working too as soon as you got home so I stole the chance to get some alone time.”

“We could have had two nights if you came when you got here last night,” he playfully pouts.

“You’ll get over it,” she laughs. “This place is really nice though. I’m kind of jealous you’ve been here this whole time while I’ve been stuck in the city.”

“Maybe we could come back one day,” he suggests. “Or maybe a place similar to this one.”

“Can we go somewhere warm with a pool?” She asks excitedly. “I know you don’t like getting wet, but I just love relaxing in the pool on a warm day.”

“We can do whatever you want,” he chuckles. “I’ll sacrifice dryness for you.”

“You’re such a gentleman,” she jokes. “Can you show me around the rest of this place?”

“Sure!” He says all too excited to show her everything he knows she’ll love about this property.

He starts by showing her the rooms throughout the home and where he’d been working on music and reading. He took her out back to the cozy little shaded area where he set up the beanbag chair for rainy days. He would sit under the shaded patio and read or zone out to the sounds of the storm. After showing her the second cabin where the doctor stayed the first couple weeks, he took Hyeri on a walk around the property.

A small path that circles the quarter mile area has been Yoongi’s gym. He had some weights brought in as well, but he always found himself going for a peaceful walk outside. Sometimes he would do multiple laps and simply get lost in his thoughts. Today he’s getting to circle the trail while walking hand in hand with Hyeri. Something they’ve rarely gotten the chance to do.

After their walk, they get comfortable on the living room couch. Hyeri’s legs are laying across Yoongi’s lap while he has one hand on the outside of her thigh and his other wrapped around her waist. He holds on to her as if he’s never felt the presence of anything so precious in his life. He’s overflowing with love.

Hyeri’s long drive and early morning has caught up with her and not long after she gets comfortable snuggled up with Yoongi, she falls sound asleep. Yoongi kisses her forehead and smiles, then closes his eyes and drifts off to sleep as well.

If you ask Yoongi, that’s probably the greatest nap he’s ever taken in his life. When he woke up he felt very refreshed and even more so when he looked down at Hyeri still sleeping against him. He remains still a bit longer so he doesn’t disturb her sleep. If he could he’d never move from that spot with her warmth covering his entire body.

He holds his position a few minutes but he can’t any longer. He has to pee. Pretty bad.

He tries to slowly and gently slide himself from under her without waking her up. It’s not easy and once he pulls his arm from around her, she groans then pulls him back closer. He can’t help but silently laugh, but he really needs to go to the bathroom.

He tries again to slip away this time holding her hand so she won’t be able to lock him in her hold again. He slides his legs from under her and she groans again. He pauses. Stares at her. Then begins sliding away some more.

“No,” Hyeri groans trying to grab him again. He’s trying to block her hand from wrapping around him but she’s fighting, even with her eyes still closed.

“Babe,” Yoongi giggles.

“No,” she groans again. “I’m not done with you.”

“I really need to go to the bathroom,” he says still trying to hold her hand.

“It can wait.”

“I don’t think it can,” he laughs.

“If you can make it through an entire concert then you can make it a few more minutes,” she teases.

“But I don’t make it through an entire concert,” he laughs. “We still have intermissions.”

“Well whatever, you still can’t go yet.”

“Ok then,” he resolves. “I guess I’ll just do my business right here.”

“You better not!” She says finally opening her eyes and playfully pushing him away. “Hurry up.”

“How did you wake up so demanding?” Yoongi laughs standing.

“I could be worse.”

“No thank you,” he laughs walking to the bathroom.

Hyeri smiles and takes a deep breath of relief. She hasn’t felt at ease like this in nearly a year. The day Yoongi left two months ago she could hardly look at him. So much pain would radiate through her when she looked at him. She cried every night blaming herself for how bad things had gotten.

Now she sees a much different person. Yoongi looks much healthier and happier and it makes her so proud. She finally feels like things are truly looking up for once.

This has been one of the toughest times Hyeri has had since Two Piece disbanded. She’s never been in the tabloids so much, she’s never been the subject of controversial things, and she’s never felt like her personal and professional lives were all about to collapse at the same time. Even when she thought things were looking up, something always seemed to come crashing down on her.

It’s not all good though, only much much better than it had been. She spent the better part of the two months trying to make peace with all of the things Yoongi had done and put her through. Forgiving him seemed easy, but an unexpected update regarding his stolen Black card made her realize that saying she forgives him is not the same as actually forgiving him.

Yoongi’s Black card had long since been reported stolen and replaced. There had been no attempts to use it anywhere so it had all been forgotten about by now. However, recently someone finally found the card and it was being held as evidence in a criminal case in California.

Although Yoongi was on civil duty during his enlistment, he chose to stay in Daegu near family during that time where he was assigned to a job there. Though he and Hyeri had only been together for a short time, he made her an authorized user on his Black card so she could get whatever she wanted. She told him time and again that it wasn’t necessary, but he insisted. No matter the situation he wanted to provide for her 100% regardless of whether she was capable of doing so herself or not.

Hyeri never used the card and eventually forgot that she even had access to it, but then she got the call a month ago. Yoongi was unable to be reached since he was limiting his communication with anyone that didn’t already know where he was. This call came from an unknown number so he didn’t answer, but Hyeri did when she got the call. Thinking it was about work she answered only to be greeted by an attorney who needed to discuss details regarding the stolen Black card.

Chelsea, the stranger Yoongi met in LA who robbed him of more than he knows, had been arrested recently in a string of thefts. Turns out she’s become infamous for the number of people she’s stolen from and the identities she’s taken. The night she met Yoongi she had already stolen a few hundred dollars from others that day. By the time she got to him he was already so fucked up that he made himself an easy target.

Aside from his money, Chelsea also stole a watch that Yoongi had bought for himself during the tour. He spent most of the tour drunk so he forgot he even bought the thing. She also took pictures of his license and passport. She has no idea who Yoongi is, but she realized he wasn’t just a traveler named Austin. She didn’t care though because all she saw were dollar signs. Her theft spree continued for months before she finally tried to use Yoongi’s card.

While Chelsea had always been quick to use the new identities and access to money she found in her journey, she hesitated with Yoongi. She wasn’t quite sure how to go about an international theft. She knew nothing about Korean banks, or Korea in general. She decided to do research to make sure she was as educated as possible in order to get away with it, but research takes time. She had stolen plenty of identities after Yoongi so her research didn’t start right away.

Authorities started investigating the string of thefts and Chelsea felt them closing in. She decided to lay low for a while until the heat dies down, but laying low meant losing her main source of income. She became desperate and decided to finally see if she could take her operation overseas just for a few dollars.

Taking Yoongi’s identity was out of the question so she stuck to simply taking his money. She tried to book herself a flight using Yoongi’s card and another stolen identity so it wouldn’t be traced back to her. What she didn’t realize is that Yoongi’s bank had long since been informed of the theft and, because he’s a VIP, they continued to closely monitor his card activity. A transaction coming from an IP address in California was a major red flag.

Unable to get to Yoongi, the attorney on the bank’s legal team detailed everything to Hyeri. She was happy that the thief was caught and will face trial, but she was not happy about why the card was stolen in the first place. She doesn’t know the details of his encounters, she doesn’t want to know, but this situation made her mind wander.

This is someone that was in his hotel room. How many people did he take back to his room? He said it was only blow jobs, but is that truly all it was? Did he kiss her? Did he kiss any of them? He’s always so private, but she was in. his. room.

She has to have a tough conversation with him that she’s been avoiding, and she chose now to finally do it. He’s far from alcohol or any other destructive or otherwise distractive temptations. She needs to talk to him face to face and get answers for the things that have continued to haunt her.

[brooooswriting]

i have a sam request

basically where sam has nightmares after the ghostface thing and reader comforts her

big spoon reader????

Everything’s gonna be okay

Sam Carpenter x reader

Living in the middle of New York wasn’t really your thing, it was way too loud at night, it was always crowded, the people were often rude and how the fuck was everybody always looking so stylish? You really didn’t get it. But it was what Sam wanted and Tara could go to college, so here you were.

Let’s be honest, as much as you loved Woodsboro you couldn’t stay there after the attack and you would have followed Sam everywhere, even if you weren’t together at that point. The way she looked at you when she asked you to move with them was irresistible, you had no option but say yes.

And even if you weren’t the biggest fan of New York, the change of scenery did a lot for you, you coped rather good with what happened.

Anyway, you stood in the kitchen in the middle of the night as it was too loud to sleep again. Normally you weren’t that sensitive but you had days, or rather nights, were it made you crazy. So you decided to get some water, read a bit and then try to sleep again, but you went to the kitchen so you wouldn’t wake up Sam. After woodsboro sleep didn’t come easy to her.

You were silently reading on the couch when you heard a door open and quiet paddling causing you to look up, in front of you stood Sam covered in sweat and with tears in her eyes. “Baby, what’s wrong?” You immediately asked, the book was thrown somewhere so you could cup her face in your hands, “I-I-He… I dreamed that he came back and h-u— it was too late, I couldn’t save you” she had tears rolling down her face while her hands were shaking. You carefully grabbed her hands and placed them on your waist, “it’s okay” you mumbled, your thumbs drying her tears. “I couldn’t save you… and-and when I woke up, you weren’t there and I just thought the worst you know?” She was quickly engulfed in a hug, her arms tightening around your waist too. “I’m here, we are save! Thanks to you, it’s your doing that I’m still alive baby. I know that you’ll always protect me” she was still shaking in your arm but it got less when you placed soft kisses on her neck and her face. “Let’s get you back to bed” you mumbled before grabbing her hand and pulling her towards her bathroom.

You wet a towel and cleaned her face before giving it to her so she could at least wash a bit of her sweat of while you got her new cloths. Returning with some sleeping boxers and an oversized shirt of yours you helped her get dressed before pulling her to the bedroom, “lay down, I’ll get you a glass of water and then we’ll sleep okay?” You could see the hesitation in her eyes but you didn’t want her to dehydrate so this was kinda the only option.

Carefully and as quiet as possible you sprinted into the kitchen where you grabbed some water before running back, “I’m back, that must have been record time” you grinned which caused her to giggle a bit. It made your heart swell but the moment you looked at her your heart sank, she looked so small and scared. It was terrible.

You threw yourself next to her on the bed and turned her direction, “come on, drink something and then you can sleep again. I will stay the whole time, I promise” you pressed a small kiss to her forehead before she drank something. When she put the bottle back onto the nightstand you nudged her to turn away from you, “are you sure?” Her voice was so quiet that you barely heard what she said, “you always protect me, now it’s my turn love”

That seemed to do the trick as she turned onto her side, you quickly pressed yourself against her and wrapped your arm around her waist. She backed up into you and grabbed your hand that laid on her stomach in hers, holding it tightly. “Sleep baby, I’m here I promise” you could feel the tension slowly melt away as her breath evened out, “I love you so much, I won’t let anything happen to you, just like you won’t let anything happen to me” you whispered and pressed a kiss to the back of her neck.

Once you were sure that she was asleep and would most definitely stay asleep, you closed your eyes too. Throughout the night you woke up again and again, it gave you time to check on the girl in your arms. God, how you hated Amber and Richie, how they ruined Sams life is unspeakable. They didn’t just make her suffer back then but they left so many wounds that you’re sure that she’d bleed out without you and Tara. Nobody should go through all of this.

The next morning you woke up to Sams alarm, even tough she had the day off she liked to get up early and have breakfast with you and Tara, but due to the fact that Tara’s lecture was canceled and you were sure that Sam would need you, you decided to skip and just turn the alarm off. The older carpenter was still wrapped in your arms when you woke up, her hand gripping yours tightly while you pulled her closer. After a bit of contemplating you decided that the girl in your arms was in desperate need of any sleep she could get, so you stayed in bed with her for around 2 more hours.

“Sam, baby” you whispered as your hand carefully rubbed her side, “wake up” after a bit longer the girl finally opened her eyes and immediately turned over to see you. “Good morning” you smiled carefully, after a nightmare and showing her soft side, Sam could be a minefield. Sometimes she was extremely clingy and sometimes she was distant and a tad rude so she could reassure herself that she was strong and independent. At first that made you cautious but by now you were sure it was just a tick that came from the fact that she was, no matter how self impressed she acted, insecure. “Good morning love” she answered and contemplated something in her head for about two minutes.

After those two minutes she slowly laid her head on your chest and curled herself into you. It took you a second to realize what was happening but you then quickly hugged her close to yourself. “I’m sorry for scaring you” you told her as your chin rested on her head, “it wasn’t your fault, the nightmare just fucked me up and I’ve kinda gotten used to waking up next to you and I guess it confused me that I suddenly didn’t. So I’m sorry for, you know, the fact that you had to take care of me because I was too weak” her voice tried to show coldness like it was nothing what happened yesterday

“How many times do I have to tell you? First off all, I like taking care of you. Having you in my arms is the greatest part of my day Sam. And second of all, the fact that you had a nightmare doesn’t make you weak or anything, I think it’s rather strong that you got yourself help. Not everybody is strong enough to do that” after your small speech you could hear her sniffle again. She reached over you to grab the tissues that were on the nightstand when she suddenly stopped. “Wait, it’s 9:40 am. You should be in a lecture right now” she suddenly pulled back to look at you with shock written all over her phase, “it’s fine, I decided to skip” you shrugged.

“Because of me?”

“Well, I wasn’t gonna leave you alone after that kind of night” you said as you grabbed her hand and intervened your fingers. “Y/n, I’m old enough to deal with that myself, lectures are important” she protested but you just chuckled. “Would you have left?” She shook her head, no. “Then why would I? I couldn’t care less about the lecture when I have the opportunity to look out for you. You mean the world to me and while I always think that you’re the prettiest woman ever, you did need every bit of sleep you could get” both of you giggled before she leaned up to press a small kiss to your lips, “thank you but do you think we could sleep a bit longer? You know, like we did tonight”

Instead of answering you turned the two of you, spooning her before closing you eyes again. Let’s just say the day was spent in bed cuddling. It wasn’t the most productive day but it was definitely something both of you needed.

“I love you y/n”

“I love you too”

[littledemondani]

a little announcement.

tw: mental health, death

hey guys. so, i never thought i would come on here to make a post like this. i’m not one to be very open with people, like being vulnerable makes me uncomfortable, even on the interwebs.

but, lately i have not been feeling okay at all. some of y’all know that i lost my mom back in june. it’s been the hardest thing i’ve ever had to face and learn to live through. i’ve been trying to be strong through it all, for myself and family, but the truth is i am nowhere near being fine.

i haven’t been fine for a very, very long time.

i used fandom as a way to escape the daily horrors of my life. as one does. however, it’s come to a point where it’s not healthy for me. instead of coping, it’s become dependent for me. i love writing my fics, creating my verses, and seeing you all react to them. i’ve made amazing friends on here who i love dearly.

however, i can’t continue down this path that i’m currently on. i need to take time to focus on myself and my relationship. so, i’m going to be stepping away from the fandom.

i don’t know how long i’ll be gone for. i just hope that one day i can come back when i’m in a better place emotionally.

i love you all and i can’t thank y’all enough for reading my silly little stories and bringing me happiness in my darkest times.

my blog is going to stay up, but i will be logged out. i’ll pop in from time to time to check in with y’all as well.

i hope you all had a merry christmas if you celebrate and i wish y’all a happy new year. 🖤

[anxious-cosplayer]

"Merry Christmas, Captain" (Head Engineer!Mark x reader)

Word count: 1.6k Warnings: guilt, anxious captain, mentions of death Reader is captain and gender neutral.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

It was hard during the holidays on the Invincible II. Most people either had to leave their family back on earth or were still in cryostasis. So it only meant that the crew could celebrate together.

However, to most people - yourself included - the crew was family. There were bits of tinsel that covered doorway entrances, Christmas trees decorated by each department, and Celci had to tell Mark that he couldn’t use the cryo room as a place to have a snowball fight as “that’s not how it works!”

You can probably guess how Mark felt about that.

Though the crew were gathering in the mess hall to have a big Christmas dinner, you didn’t really know if you should turn up. As much as you enjoyed everyone being together, this time of the year made you reflect on what had happen in all of those other universes. The guilt was slowly becoming better to deal with, especially after talking it over with Mark many times until it was late, however it was occasions like this you did find it hard to cope.

So that’s is why you’re stuck in your room doing paperwork, preparing to go to the bridge to supervise the running of the ships systems while everyone could have a break. Donning your hat and signature gloves, you took your tablet and promptly made your way there. As you walked by all the decorations you thought you should’ve maybe added something somewhat Christmas-y to your uniform but it was too late now. The door whooshes open to the bridge.

There was about four or five people in there monitoring the various systems. They all stood to attention when you walk in. You recognise all of them as members of several different departments. You smile somewhat awkwardly and nod your head in acknowledgment.

“At ease everyone.” They all relax from their previously stiff stances. “You can call go down to the dining hall for your dinners, I’ll look after things up here. Dismissed.”

They crew have big smiles on their faces but then quickly leave, thanking you as they do. Only one, Tyler, pauses.

“Are you sure, Captain? I don’t mind helping out here. Don’t wanna leave you here all alone.” He gives you a warm smile. You pause. It would be nice to have the company, but it wouldn’t be fair to have only him stay behind. He was probably just being polite anyway.

“No thank you, Tyler. I’d hate for you to miss out on the festivities. Go enjoy yourself,” you smile at him, but it felt forced. You didn’t really want to be here by yourself, but you couldn’t stand seeing all the happy faces of those you’ve probably killed over and over again in other universes. Tyler hesitates but nods in respect before leaving. The doors whooshed close behind them.

And then you were alone, staring out into deep space.

-_-_-_-

Tyler had picked up on the face that his Captain wasn’t doing great, but he wasn’t sure why. He assumed it was probably because they didn’t have their family with them. Thankfully, he knew just the person that would help cheer the captain up.

-_-_-_-

Vitals: Normal

ADS: Normal

Cryo: Normal

Reactor: Normal

Warp Core: N/A

Well at least that’s always what it’s said since the start of the voyage, minus the hiccup in the middle. After doing the necessary checks and selecting the correct buttons on the data pad, you wondered back over to the window. It was times like this you were happy that Mark had installed all of these windows, despite the issues they caused in other universes.

Your eyes slowly refocus on your own reflection. The bags under your eyes were a little more puffy than usual. Sleep was hard to get sometimes. But you could also see the Christmas tree's lights next to the control panel. Your thoughts drift back to some of your favourite holiday moments. Times with close family or friends. People who you haven’t seen in a very, very long time. Maybe… just maybe… this could be the moment you let yourself give into the Christmas spirit?

“Computer! Play something Christmas-y.”

The computer pauses before you start to hear a quiet version of one of your favourite Christmas songs. You smile to yourself before you suddenly hear the whoosh of the door opening. You quickly compose yourself and turn to see the Head Engineer walk through the door holding two drinks.

“Captain! There you are! I was wondering wher- … oh god what’s wrong? Are you ok?” He quickly rushes over, balancing the drinks on the control panel. You’re confused before you realise a few stray tears had fallen down your cheeks.

“Oh… I’m okay, Mark. Don’t worry about me,” you say as you wipe the tears away. “What are you doing here? I gave everyone the time off.”

Mark sheepishly rubbed his neck. “Yeah, I know, but I was hoping that by everyone you’d mean yourself included.” He offers one of the drinks to you. “I even brought one to share with you, captain.”

You glance over and hesitate. “well, I’m technically still on duty.” But one reassuring smile from Mark had you reaching over to accept the drink. You clink glasses together and stare out into space together.

“Why are you alone up here Captain? I-…We all would love to have you down there,” he corrected. You sigh and take a sip of your drink. It was very fizzy but light with a fruity aftertaste. Quite pleasant.

“I don’t know if I could see them all happy. Not after seeing the other thems. I doesn’t…feel right, I suppose.”

“Well you still have the right to enjoy yourself too.” Silence then fills the room. He puts a hand on your shoulder. “Look, myself and the other heads of departments have a surprise for you. Just… indulge us, please?”

You mull it over in your head before giving a nod. You walk together out of the room. As you walk down the hallway together you accidentally brush hands. You tried not to make the blush on your face obvious but feeling your heart jolt like that didn’t help. Eventually, you both make your way to the mess hall and the door whooshes open.

You see all of the other heads wearing various Christmas themed outfits, holding wrapped parcels and with big smiles on all of their faces - even Burt has a soft smile.

“Captain! You’re finally here! You can open this now!” Celci runs up to you while wearing her elf outfit and hands you a beautifully wrapped box with a big blue bow on top of it. You’re quickly ushered to sit down and start opening your present. You tear away at the wrapping to find a beautiful pair of gloves. They were very similar to the ones you were wearing but they had the softest insides to them. And stitched into the inside were your initials. These must’ve been custom made, possibly by Celci herself. You thank her profusely.

Burt had a simple Santa hat on and passed you a little box with some ribbon. You untie it and inside it is a keychain. It was a replica of the ones to drive the ship, but this one had miniatures of a wrench, an ice cube, a pistol, a hammer, a captain’s hat and even a mini Invincible II.

“It’s important to always keep those important close at hand,” he states. You smile at the gift and thank him. For once, this bit of wisdom from him did not freak you out.

Gunther was next. He wasn’t wearing anything different to his normal clothes (“It’s Die Hard! It’s a Christmas film!) but it was clear that someone, probably Celci, had put a snowman beanie on his head. He passes you something that seemed to be wrapped in foil. It was a custom made silver blaster that had your name engraved into the handle.

“For when you need protection exploring the new planet!” Though it did seem very excessive, he did reassure you it had a stun mode on it. You thanked him too.

Then various members of the rest of the crew came over to wish you merry Christmas and in the end you even got dragged to the theatre room to watch some of the classic Christmas films. Mark and Celci got into another one of their fights (Mark wanted to watch The Grinch Who Stole Christmas but Celci was determined to watch White Christmas). But in the end the crew took a vote and watched both of them and one or two others too.

It was getting very late and you were just about ready to go and sleep when someone tugged your hand. You looked to see it was none other than Mark.

“Come with me.”

You both promptly slip away from the party. He leads you to a quiet hallway and oddly stops you in one of the archways.

“I, uh, wanted to give you my present.”

“Mark you didn’t have to-" you try to say but then he put a finger over your lips, silencing you. He then points upwards, and you follow your finger to then see there was something hanging from the ceiling. Mistletoe.

Oh.

Oh.

You glance back at him. He waits to see if you were okay with what was about to happen. You nod and both of your lips gently brush against other while he embraces you. He gently pulls away and you can feel him smile as he whispered, “merry Christmas, Captain.”

Maybe Christmas wasn’t too bad after all.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Merry Christmas everyone!! I hope you all liked this short story just in time for Christmas! I hope you are all safe and I will see you guys (hopefully) in the new year - Anx :)