#so glad I have a wife now

[jessibbb]

JUST MARRIED BITCH

Featuring a tiny doodle of my sillies 🥺🥺

[giantkillerjack]

Me: hm, I want something to put on the TV as background noise... Huh. Looks like YouTube is recommending something called The Last Unicorn. That's perfect, it's probably some old shitty animation that has aged poorly! I can watch it ironically!

Me, 2 hours later as the credits roll: *crying, cheering, buying the book, composing the songs*

Me, 2 weeks later: So I have compiled all of the quotes from the book that I think could make good tattoos, and also, HOW HAVE I NEVER LEARNED ABOUT HOW THE LAST UNICORN FUCKING SLAPS??? This gay-ass little fairytale fed my soul! Watered my crops! Transed my gender! Can't believe I heard of this story from youtube recommendations, of all places!!

[hag-lad]

I do wish more queer people would stop agonizing over finding a perfectly accurate label to describe their personal identity, and start having gay sex instead.

[goldkirk]

.

[kidfoundonstreets]

[lizzerswillpoststuffmethinks]

Spoiler: I didn't go to sleep. But I will shortly after this post

[bumblingbabooshka]

Watched ‘Charades’ - The Vulcan/Human stuff wasn’t as bad as I thought it’d be tbh. Typical Star Trek bioessentialism which I expected. (EXCEPT THE BACON BULLSHIT. WHY DID THEY HAVE HIM EAT BACON? AND THEN PLAY IT FOR LAUGHS??? Of ALL things they had him eat Bacon. It leaves a really bad taste in my mouth since Leonard Nimoy was jewish and seems to have put a lot of that into Spock.) Love T’Pring no notes for T’Pring you were so sweet the whole time. Her holding his hand and subtly giving him tips to make the ritual go smoothly...AAA!! Christine/Spock things sooo boring on their own but as angst for T’Pring? Very good. She wasn’t even gone a DAY before they made out. DUMP! HIS! ASS <3 The phone operator please-hold aliens were very cute to me, I liked them!  Also it introduced the concept of a sacred Vulcan familial roast sesh which is honestly so fucking funny and I adore it. Five minutes on the clock to devastate your future son-in-law, better make it count. The mother-in-law-is-a-bitch and ‘henpecked husband’ thing is SOOOOOO boring though. Boomer comics. The funnier and more interesting option is that they are both equally pretentious but T’Pril is just more committed/has a better eye for things to complain about. 

[idontliketomatoesleavemealone]

Having late feelings about Beetee and his batch of children

[mieczyhale]

"Never apologize for putting stupid in its place."

- t.

[leonardcohenofficial]

in other news i was approximately five minutes late to class at synagogue on thursday due to a combo of rehearsal and union related stuff so afterwards i stuck around to apologize to my rabbi for my tardiness and he said “so you’re apologizing for being human?” and i immediately started crying so. how are everyone else’s stress levels right now 😀

[softquietsteadylove]

drama for the runaway bride au: A man from the nearby village has seen Thena at Gilgameshs little forest house and informed royal guards who informed the King and now they're standing in front of Gilgameshs door again and invite themselves in and they're dragging Thena back to the castle

Gil smiled down at the flowers in his hand. Thena would love them--they were soft and white and lovely, just like her. He would put them in some water when he got home, maybe after dinner. Thena was probably chopping vegetables this very second. She was getting better at it.

It had been almost a year since she found him--or since he found her, maybe it was better to say. The beautiful bride he found hiding in a tree trunk was no longer a lost little fawn. She had come to learn everything that was required to keep the house in good order. She had taken over those duties all together when he'd been injured.

The cabin was as much hers as it was his, as far as he was concerned.

And it was high time he tell her as much, too. Maybe it was silly to do something so formally when she had indeed lived alongside him all this time. He often blushed to remember that they even shared a bed. But he felt he had to say something--let her know just how important it was to him that she was here.

"No, let go of me!"

The flowers dropped from Gil's hand. He took off in a run, his feet slipping faintly as he charged towards the house, a royal carriage parked out front.

"Get off me!" Thena screamed, so unlike her usual self. But she was a force to be reckoned with, clawing and thrashing, teeth bared like a wild animal.

"Your highness, please," the men pleaded with her.

"Let her go!" Gil bellowed before he could even think about it. All he knew was that he could see Thena being taken away, and he had to stop it. "Get away from her!"

"The lumberjack is back!"

"Stop him!"

"He has a weapon!"

"No!" Thena pulled against the suits of armour holding each of her arms. "No, don't hurt him!"

Gil slid to a stop, holding his axe but eyeing the line of royal soldiers with their swords pointed at him. "What do you think you're doing with her?"

"The princess is coming with us!"

"Like hell she is," he snarled at them. He would fight all of them, outnumbered or not, if he had to. "You're not going anywhere with my Thena."

"Gil!" she cried out for him. She managed to pull away from her captors, shoving the men out of her way until she could stand in front of him. "Enough!"

"Your highness, move!" the frontmost man barked at her.

"No!" she barked right back at him (that was his Thena). "Or would you rather report to my father than you've run me through trying to capture an innocent man?"

The guards did lower their weapons, although it didn't do much to make Gil feel better about the whole thing. The captain glared at him. "He is no innocent man, your highness. The lumberjack stands accused of kidnapping and holding the princess hostage."

"There is no such crime," Thena stated, although it seemed that - princess or not - her word didn't weigh as much as it should to the men facing them.

"His majesty has been searching, my lady," the captain scowled at her, still standing in front of Gil to protect him. "For nigh on a year, now."

It was a year this very day, actually.

"Then tell him you've found me," Thena challenged, her shoulders squared and her braid sliding off her shoulder and down her back. "Tell him you've found me and that I refuse to return."

The other guards looked between themselves. They were just men following orders, doing their jobs, trying to feed themselves and their families.

"I cannot, your highness."

"Well I won't be going with you, so you may pick which is a worse fate," Thena snipped at him, grasping Gil's hand behind her. "But if a hair on this man's head is hurt, I will have the lot of you executed."

Gil blinked. The men didn't seem to take her all that seriously, but he would be trembling in his armour if he were in their shoes. They hadn't seen her furious at the end of a long day when he'd forgotten to wipe his muddy boots off yet again.

"Princess Thena," the captain resumed his attempt at reasoning with her. He stepped forward, hand on his chest (and off his weapon). "Not only your father but your fiance the prince has also-"

"I have no fiance, captain," Thena cut him off without even batting an eye. "And if there is a snivelling pup inhabiting the castle saying he is, then I mourn for the days of your honour as a royal guard."

Damn, she really had a way with words, especially when they were insulting.

"My lady, I implore you," the captain bent at the waist and bowed to her. "I am not to return without you, sworn on my life."

Thena sighed. She wouldn't be responsible for something like that--she refused to be. Gil gave her hand a squeeze, "captain?"

"Highness?" he peeked up at her, a little too eager for how little time had passed.

"If my father has threatened you all with death," she held her head high. "Then I suggest you run away."

The men paled.

"These forests are deep. You could find the village, start anew, take your families and leave the prison my father calls a castle. But I will not return there with you, and if your lives depend on me doing so, then I am telling you now to save yourselves."

"Highness," another guard interjected, although Gil got the sense that he wasn't really allowed to speak up so freely. "If it's about the lumberjack, perhaps your father would employ-"

"Silence!"

Gil shrank slightly, and he was behind her! The men facing them flinched.

"My father," she said it like she would talk about hay mould, or spiders, or wild boars. Her eyes locked with the guard, "is not fit to stand in the same room as the man behind me."

"H-Highness-"

"Stop calling me that!"

"Princess," the captain took the reins again, his voice raising. "I have been ordered to bring you back. And I regret to inform you that I am to use any means necessary to do so."

"Truly?" she didn't back down from the threat, but still stood close enough to Gil that no one would be able to approach him without her being in the way. "Would you tie me up and kidnap me, captain? Would you apprehend the crown princess?"

"If I must, my lady," he informed her with an equal lack of remorse. "I was ordered to retrieve you, alive, but by no means was I told to do so with gentility. And if I must bring you back by force, then so be it."

Gil gripped his axe again. He didn't like where this was headed. Thena backed up into him even more, pressing her back to his chest. Her hand gripped the handle of his axe, throwing off his grip. She didn't want him to fight.

"I'm sure my resistance will be attributed to my so called 'kidnapper' fighting you off?" Thena assumed aloud.

"Aye," the captain confirmed.

"Then I must tell you..."

Gil held his breath same as the guards did. He didn't know what she had up her sleeve, but it had better be good. It really seemed like everyone's lives were depending on it.

"That I have already married him."

What was that now?

The men traded looks, most horrified, a few more curious than anything. The captain looked positively flushed with rage. "I beg your pardon."

"I have married this man," Thena proclaimed like it was nothing. She wound their fingers together.

"Each and every marriage must be officiated properly, your highness." The captain looked mortified, but in an angry way. "Your father will never recognise it as a lawful union."

"Then I suppose you will have to go and tell him regardless."

"Thena," he breathed against her hair. He wasn't sure if this would only invite more trouble down the line or not, especially considering it was a bold faced lie. But he went with it.

"That his daughter has run off and had a bastardisation of a marriage in the woods with some lowly peasant?!"

Gil huffed; he wasn't rich by any means, but he wasn't sure if he was a peasant, either. He had just worked at the castle not two weeks ago!

"Yes," she persisted, "tell him exactly that, or anything else. But he may know that I love the man I am with, and that I will not return to his gilded cage to be sold like chattel."

The captain sighed deeply. If looks could kill, he would be on trial for regicide, "if that is what her highness wishes."

"It is an order."

As if the word 'order' were a magic spell, the men all snapped up straighter, heels together. "Ma'am!"

"Then we must inform the king," the captain declared, pulling back his tiny battalion to deliver truly terrible news.

"I wish you luck," Thena sent them off with the snide wish, crossing her arms as they loaded into the carriages again. She kept glaring until they were dragging themselves off the beaten path and back to the main road again.

Gil let out a breath once they were out of sight. He leaned on his knees, heart hammering, "wow."

Thena also sighed, turning around to face him. "I suppose we will have to be prepared for the possibility that the magistrate will come knocking next."

"Uh, Thena?"

"Perhaps Eros will come with some fake document to state that I am not legally allowed to marry anyone but him," she continued, rolling her eyes and sorting out her braid again, "like a land deed."

"Thena," Gil tried again.

"As much as I never want to see him again, I would pay any price to see the image of my father's face when he finds out his crown jewel has-"

"Thena!" he interrupted, not at all yelling at her but certainly not keeping quiet anymore. He stood to his full height again, smiling at her, "married, are we?"

Finally faced with the consequences of her lie, she looked down at the ground between them, quickly flushing rouge. "U-Uh, w-well-"

"Wish I had known," he chuckled, trying to get a peek at her face, "I'd have gotten you a gift, darling."

She squirmed, toying with the edge of her apron (which none of the guards noticed was literally made from her once-wedding dress). "I had to think of something they couldn't argue with me about."

"No, I guess you were right," Gil chuckled, throwing his arm over her shoulders and pulling her closer, "now I just have to worry about your dad busting down my door, huh?"

"Please," she scoffed at the very idea, "Father hasn't set food outside the castle in well over two decades. I think he would sooner write me off as missing and deceased than lift a finger to verify it himself."

Gil wasn't sure if that was so true, but he couldn't do anything but take her word for it at the moment. He kissed her forehead, "are you okay?"

She sighed, leaning against his chest, tugging at the suspenders over his flannel shirt. "I tried to hide again but they circled the house and took me. I was worried...I thought you wouldn't-"

"Hey, okay, sh," he whispered, pressing his nose to her temple as she sniffed back her tears. He had been scared of that very thing. "It's okay, nothing like that is gonna happen."

Neither of them could guarantee that.

Thena put her hands on his hips, while he did the same for her. "I'm sorry to lie like that."

He shook his head. He didn't mind it nearly as much as she thought he did. Maybe he minded that it wasn't actually true, but that was for a later date. "It is our anniversary, actually."

Thena smiled, their foreheads meeting gently. She rose on her toes, just enough to touch her lips to his, "happy anniversary, my sweet lumberjack."

[tankgotstuckinthecircusgate]

the spy by the doors for falcone polycule so real

[todayisafridaynight]

That fuckin new bucket list trailer for 8?????????

hey what if we all just cut ourselves in half after this huh

[benvoliotheorphan]

Me: Yeah I don’t think I can really ship Kratos with anyone. It’s just really hard for me to imagine him in any sort of romantic relationship. Yes I know he was married twice, but still-

God of War Ragnarok: Shows flashbacks of Kratos with Faye

Me, with tears in my eyes: Oh, okay, nevermind.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

another billions analysis thing is like so yeah while it's like "hmm let's think about power" but then doesn't really do that, what's there to offset that is "but let's think about what these people with billions(tm) are doing because of their like personal feelings & lives & whatever" and the personal feelings are the thrilling journey of s1 men following the compass of their ego & the way their personal lives matter at all beyond this is about their Relationships. except the relationships are also actually about the power billions isn't really thinking about because the ones billions focuses on involve this Fealty where one person does whatever and the other is just stuck with it. sure they might air some unhappiness sometimes, but if it's not punished or ignored from the start anyway, it'll still end up so inconsequential that it's as though it never happened. and what's left to offset the way that can't mean anything if you again take it for granted that of course people are just locked into such relationships & best they can do is fix it from the inside or embrace it as is? is "do you think this character is a winner among losers & you want to see them pwn everyone & do whatever they want forever" & if you like all the media the creators do like

[turtlemagnum]

when i was younger and hung out around my uncle a lot more than i do now, i remember whenever he referred to things regarding his native heritage, he always just called it "indian". called himself an indian, called the words he taught us indian, so on. since i was a little kid who didn't know any better, i didn't know that "indian" in the context of indigenous americans was a very broad, frankly bastardized term to paint a vast variety of cultures spanning two whole damn continents with one brush. it only occurred to me as i got much older than i was at the time that there'd be more than one "indian" language, and up until now since i had no idea what tribe(s) he even is i couldn't even begin to know where to look unless i found a download of every goddamn interlingual dictionary available and painstakingly checked every godddamn one for what their word for "thunder" is

the word he taught us meant thunder was hiloha. i didn't even know how to spell it until now, because he only ever said it aloud. literally just a few minutes ago, i decided to ask my grandma (his sister) if we knew what tribe(s) he belonged to. and apparently he's a mix of choctaw and makah. which gave me a lead, which led to me finding a dictionary on libgen, which led to me word searching "thunder" in the choctaw to english dictionary. it's the only word i remember him teaching us, and i'm unsure if he ever tried teaching us others. but it was his dogs name, and he was a damn good boy, so i remembered it clear as day. though, they normally shortened it to "hilo".

so, i guess what came out of this is that i now know a bit more about my uncle's heritage, and where to look for more research. so, if you're gonna have a takeaway from this, i'd appreciate it if you remembered the word "hiloha". it means thunder. and aside from being the name of a very good boy who deserves to be remembered, i think it's even more important to remember the histories, cultures, and of course the languages of all the indigenous folks who came before us and did their damndest to preserve their cultures in spite of it all.