#so he doesnt Trust Like That but hes only a human being.. secretly for years and years hes craved compassion and touch that he can trust...

[shepcdr]

thinks about men like john shepard and kaidan alenko and gibraltar apex legends. thinks about how yishai is always at first wary and then jumps to being absolutely entranced by them. by men who exude goodness and kindness and non-judgement. the large majority of the men in his life (esp those of authority) were concerned with control and power and with moulding him into a tool and a weapon of mass destruction (and they succeeded).

to be looked at by a man who doesn't see a project, a thing, a means to an end, or something to ultimately destroy. to be looked at as a human being that isn't undeserving of compassion. it drives him insane. he looks at them and is like. i am just a candle with the barest of living flame and i am in the presence of the Sun

(yes i hc'd c.rypt.o when I wrote him as having a huge crush on gibraltar. and why shouldn't I do the same with sheps apex verse... why shouldn't gibraltar's kindness work under sheps tough skin and begin making him feel like maybe he Is capable of feeling things that aren't distrust and bitterness and anger again)

(and yes in other words I'm once again thinking about Yishai in a squadmate context serving under commander john shepard [paragon edition] and becoming thoroughly enamoured)

[quitealotofsodapop]

Now a Part Two of more info on "The Monkey King and the Infant" au:

link to part one

There's A LOT of crying and emotions between characters in this fic. Like full on "imma destroy this wall real quick" tantrums from Sun Wukong *and* Macaque. They're both deeply hurt and very bad at communicating.

Macaque's death in JTTW is canon. He had not set upon Tripitaka on his own accord - he had been ordered. He doesnt remember who gave the order though - must have drank some soup in Diyu.

Macaque believes that Lady Bone Demon only resurrected him to let her out. But she also secretly needs MK for something. Macaque prays that they never cross paths. Spoilers: they do.

Before Tang and Pigsy realised who the two monkeys actually were; they managed to get them jobs in their own workplaces. Macaque assists Tang at the University library where he works as an archivist. Sun Wukong on the other hand is the pretty host/delivery boy that charms tips out of all of Pigsy's customers. Even after the reveal, the two monkeys enjoy their day jobs.

Pigsy doesnt trust Sun Wukong to run the kitchen on his own. He does trust Macaque though, which makes Sun Wukong furious.

The co-parents learned that MK has built-in Gold Vision cus he has no filter;

MK (age 4): "What happened to your eye?" Macaque: *checks if his glamour is on* Tang: "Huh? What about his eyes? They look normal to me... oh he probably just means that little scar you have." Macaque, relieved: "Oh... this. I got in my last battle." MK: "No no! I mean your WHITE eye. The one you don't squint out of. Same side as the white streak in your hair." Macaque: "...what?" Tang, slowly realising whats going on and trying to hold back a lore infodump: "Ah! :D"

Sun Wukong will start sobbing at the drop of a hat if asked how his and Macaque's last fight went. MK learned that the hard way and it caused a crying chain reaction.

It takes Shadowpeach literal years of living and raising a child together before they realise that they've fallen back in love. Meanwhile Freenoodles got express delivery within weeks of MK being in their lives.

One of the first shapeshifting forms MK was able to take on is a brown piglet. Yes, Pigsy cried the first couple of times it happened.

Sun Wukong and Macaque shared the restaurant apartment for most of MK's childhood. Pigsy used to live there too, but moved in with Tang nearby after he took in the the soon-to-be monkey parents. He claims it was to "save up on space", but it quickly turned into something else along with his relationship to Tang. In the modern day, MK still lives in the apartment above the restaurant like in canon. Sun Wukong mostly lives at Flower Fruit Mountain when he's not staying in the city - otherwise he forcibly crashes at Macaque's loft in the University district.

MK is trans masc (he/they) in this au, as is Macaque and maybe Tang. Self projection ahoy.

Demon attacks and Human threats have followed the family throughout MK's childhood, but its nothing a superpowered team of dads cant handle. Except the first time MK scraped his knee at kindergarden and Sun Wukong was convinced that he was gonna bleed out. Or when MK got his first bad cold and Macaque ruined the kitchen trying to alchemise a cure. Or MK's first run in with a bully that made Pigsy so mad that he reconnected with Sandy to pull a "scary bodyguard" act on the bully. Or MK's first school play where he played the role as a cloud, and Tang clapped a little too loudly. Or his first- (the list goes on. these dorks are so proud of their little stone egg baby).

Please add your thoughts in the tags or send asks cus my butt's gonna write a fic soon

[rosenmarille]

First of all: that One Day bit is quality content. Second of all I read "3.5 for Holly" and am Highly Interested

HI yes! i will explain, however i first have to correct myself. its actually a part 2.5, not 3.5. like i mentioned in the other post, the part is called “heart unbound”, this is about 25 years after battle tendency, when holly is in her early 20s!!

the rest of this im gonna put under the cut

so the setting. joseph (43), suzie, and holly (21) live in new york, smokey is in georgia, lisa lisa (75) is Somewhere in the states, erina and speedwagon have passed away (sad). its 1963! the speedwagon foundation has continued expanding, with joseph and lisa lisa closely involved after speedwagons death. they’ve mostly moved their attention into new territory, but still have all their old research kept. stands aren't a thing yeeet, but its been long enough that the pillarmen have faded into unpleasant memory.

until one night the power at the swf hq goes out for just a moment too long, and santana manages to escape.

joseph and lisa lisa are contacted asap, and they decide to travel down to texas and find him (preferably take him out for good this time). holly, who has grown up hearing about jojo’s wild escapades, really wants to come along. she knows some hamon! she can defend herself! come on!! (yes i said it, holly learned hamon, do you think having lisa lisa for a grandmother would result in anything less?) anyway, joseph and lisa lisa Really don't want her to come since it could be really dangerous and they'd rather not put her in harm’s way.

so holly (rich, unsupervised) books a plane and goes after them.

we skip to texas!! joseph and lisa lisa investigate at hq and the surrounding area and find practically no trace of santana or where he might have gone. when holly arrives, she decides that since she can't look into hq without getting caught, she’ll ask around with locals, and manages to hear rumours about a new sort of cryptid (only appears at night, weird anatomy etc), both cattle and people have been disappearing, but on a very small scale. she looks into similar stories and realizes that santana must be moving south, though what he's planning, she doesn't know. but she will follow!! (and leave breadcrumbs for her family to pick up on this pattern too, she guesses. not so helpless now, huh?)

so this goes for a while, taking her down into mexico, until she is pretty sure that she can triangulate the missing people reports accurately enough to actually Find him. holly isnt stupid, she doesnt think she can win in a battle against a pillarman. what she’s hoping to do is prove herself to joseph and lisa lisa by prepping and helping out enough for them to then take care of the problem. she's an adult now and she doesnt appreciate being treated like a child. (you may say this contradicts how she behaved towards joseph in part 3, but to that i counter: she's in her 40s in that one, and her being an adult is established enough that she knows she can act a lil silli without that being put in question)

but hey!! she does find him!! she decides to stalk him for a bit, see what he does. so she happens to be there when santana attacks a young woman (midnight snack), who pulls a KNIFE instead of running away, so Holly rushes in and deflects an attack with a quick hamon swipe. santana has learned from his previous hamon encounter and instead of sticking around, he decides it isn't worth it and absconds instead (smart). (at this point you might notice this is the first fight of the part. yeah it be like that in this one. call it battle untendency) 

holly and the woman (who later introduces herself as Maria (no last name yet; but named after Maria Maria by Santana (lol)) also get out of dodge and hide out in an alley, where maria decides that she needs to know what the fuck that Thing was, yesterday. magic?? sparkling?? hello??? and hollys like uhh hah yes so. that's an ancient semi immortal vampire creature? and this is sunlight breathing magic, which he's allergic to. yea. and maria is like ................yeah okay i buy it. teach me sunlight breathing magic, i wanna come.

maria side paragraph! she's our oc and we love her. remember that awful scene from the santana arc with all those prisoners and the one kid who doesn't get sacrificed? that's her older brother. he was “let go” but “let go” basically did just mean “free to wander the desert and find civilisation maybe”, so when he did eventually find his way back home, he'd been severely traumatized, plus on death's door. other prisoners had been turned into vampires to test on the pillarman discovery, so the word “vampire” is something he'd have heard and conveyed to his family, who didn’t. really believe him. he also hasn't really recovered from that experience :( then the war happened and maria's dad served in it, and afterwards decided that his other child needed to know how to defend herself, and maria learned how to handle a knife, as well as how to physically fight. their family managed to avoid post war financial problems for the most part, and maria was able to finish her studies! she's a pilot :)  she is, however, harbouring very deep anger and resentment for what happened to her brother, and has not really had a face to direct that anger towards, so it's been on a relatively low burner for the most part, but now there’s talk of vampires and a person she can blame for her family’s trauma.

they exchange notes and she realizes that yeahh, that is pretty much exactly what her brother had told them, so it was true. hah :) yes actually, i would like to learn vampire killing magic please holly. and holly, who didn't really want to bring someone with her, but kind of does believe in accidents not being a thing, decides that yeah, she probably should bring maria along. and sure!! if they have to deal with sanata again, why not teach her hamon!! they share stories and continue to follow the trail while they train together, and become really close friends! jobro time.

we've now reached the first third of the story.

we travel further south!! soon, holly begins to realize......... ohh..... the temple they found santana in.. that's south of here, isn't it? oh huh. what could he want there?? the masks have been destroyed as far as she knows?? she doesn't know enough first hand to know what significance there could be, but the girls prepare for anything. maybe a big weapon the researchers had not been able to identify?? MOre pillarmen, secretly living underneath the temple??? 

(there are gonna be some scenes that involve lisa lisa and joseph figuring out where they need to go, and maybe also realizing who set that trail, maybe they have smth else going on, who knows) 

holly and maria follow santana and eventually do find the temple, and prepare to stake it out, hopefully hopefully not alerting him to their presence, because that would be.........bad. (tho tbh marias kinda itching to try out vampire begone magic. wouldn't You want to if you suddenly learned how?) neither of them have ever been here so they're honestly pretty floored by the temple interior, the tunnel that leads into the main chamber dark and uninviting, with who knows what hidden dangers are lurking about. 

and then they see him. santana is investigating the place where the pillar had been cut out of the structure, the stone masks crushed and broken, strewn around the floor, running his hands over the broken stone. Then he walks to one of the murals carved into the wall, a large one, similar to the one speedwagon had been investigating, with the 4 faces representing the pillarmen, and he lingers there. dips his head, then walks back to the empty space of the pillar and sits down where it was, crosslegged, and closes his eyes. and then he stays still. what does That mean?? 

the girls decide this is enough, they should fall back and formulate a proper plan, maybe wait for joseph and lisa lisa to catch up. buuuut we can't have that be the end of it, and so something happens, maybe one of them trips? steps on rubble that falls loose? they make a noise. and get noticed. 

change of plans! fight now! except there isn't an attack? they stay still but “i know you're there.” damn it. battle formation, stances ready, they make their way into the chamber, where santana hasn't moved at all. he's still sitting there, but he's looking at them now. holly asks what he's doing here, he asks the same back. she says not to play dumb, hes been killing people this whole time, he has to answer for that! and to that, santana honestly looks a bit confused because. has he? in his defense, he's not human, his prey is humans. pillarboy has to eat.

marias like “well? aren't you going to attack us?” and he's like “not unless you bother me.” and closes his eyes again. the girls aren't sure what to make of this.

santana side paragraph: first of all, this is a santana stan account. name one (1) thing he's done wrong, canonically. woke up in a strange place. captured?? got his bearings, tried to Leave and was accosted! shot some nazis (go king), and finally only snapped when joseph got mad he didn't laugh at his clownery. anyone would get murderous as a result. tried to escape further, ultimately was stopped and detained Again! morally, he's above joseph. 

so they're just standing now. since their earlier encounter where holly used hamon, santana refuses to talk more at first, but holly has the bright idea to get his trust by having maria restrain her and then stand back with her weapon -- a show of putting herself in a helpless position and promise she wont attack. that’s enough for santana to agree to come closer and have a proper conversation.

holly asks again why he's here exactly? what's here? and he tells her that if she Must know, he's waiting. waiting for what, she asks. and maria looks back at the carvings and realizes “oh. there should be 4 of them.” now santana looks mildly uncomfortable, and holly rememebers that “oh fuck, dad killed all of them.” and then “wait they were evil tho??” and then again “wait fuuck, didn't the leader guy say they left this one behind in mexico on purpose? oh man does he Know?” holly finds herself in the position of “not only do i have to tell this guy his friends aren't coming because they're Dead, they also kinda abandoned him.” yikes.

meanwhile maria is kinda pissed that her one chance at revenge might have just been taken from her. she still blames santana for what happened to her brother, and she refuses to let that go. she’s too stubborn and proud for that. and now, especally since holly seems to be focused on creating a bond, it feels like a slap in the face. so she kinda… snaps, ruining their chance at resolving this peacefully and causing santana to run off again. she and holly have a fight. it sucks.

soon after that joseph does find holly and he Does send her home. maria, after explaining her intentions, stays with them. holly is heartbroken :( after shes gone, joseph and lisa lisa make a plan to trap santana, aimed to go off in a few days prep, and during this, maria is starting to realize that that... really isnt the right thing to do... shes now had some time to sit alone with her guilt and regret about how she handled the situation, ssso she gets an idea on how to make up for it...

meanwhile holly is sitting at home and is sad, until suzie drives her somewhere in guise of going to a fancy lunch with smokey (whos in town), but really she drives her to the joestars airpad where her friend marua(!!) is already waiting in front of joseph’s plane, which, turns out, she hijacked in the south and flew all the way up here, and suzie tosses holly a bag with clothes and stuff and tells her to hurry up and get going :3

and hollys all "but what about lunch with mr smokey? :o" and suzie winks at her and says "don't worry, he's waiting for me to tell him everything went well at the restaurant ;)" and then holly gives her a big hug, runs to her friend and hugs Her, and they are off to fly back south to save some lives. on the way, maria apologizes and explains -- how she had harboured this resentment for so long that the sudden target for her blame put in front of her, plus the immediate removal of it were so jarring that she acted impulsively... she knows santana isnt at fault for what happened with her brother... and now she just hopes they make it in time.

as luck would have it, they catch up with joseph and lisa lisa just in time to jump between them and santana (maria accidentally cuts off joseph’s prosthetic hand in the process and freaks the fuck out before realizing it’s fine) and try to talk it out. it’s a tense few minutes, but holly is determined and stubborn, and she manages to get her dad and grandma to see her side of things and santana is saved! they find something for him to eat, giving him the energy to heal his wounds. pillarmen absorbing shit never gets old.

And from there it’s mostly just everything getting settled down and smoothed out. they get back in touch with the swf and tell them the problem is handled. santana turns out to be a relatively peaceful dude when his life isn’t being threatened, and he becomes a good friend with all four of them, but especially holly and maria. they help teach him about the modern world and he decides that he’s going to do some travelling and learn about the history of his culture and other ancient mesoamerican cultures he interacted with in his youth, and he shares the things he learns with the swf so they can get the info about where theyre needed etc.  maria gets hooked up with one of the many therapists we decided work at the swf that has experience with the supernatural things she and her brother have gone through. holly, maria, and santana stay in touch and go on regular trips together. holly receives many post cards.

it’s all really good and happy :) thats heart unbound baybee!! <33

[generalskales]

I'm feeling better so I'll continue a little with info on unwritten au and the ninja

Cole

The oldest of the gang at 24 years old

Ran away from home when he was 14 to forge his own path, met with a weird old guy who taught him how to defend himself in exchange for tea

Had a near death experience that left weird green scars on his body and face

Rare to see him without some sort of sunglasses

Has a pair of scythes that he uses to scare would be muggers (and also helps him get things off shelves he cant reach)

Lloyd

As established he's babey, but the truth is that he's like 16 and just really short

Doesn't talk much and as a result his voice sounds like he's been punched in the throat

Has yet to figure out how to speak the same language as everyone else and it drives him insane, but he does understand what they are saying through context and body language

Second most likely to kill a man

Kei

Master of Good Luck and knows it

Looked like Kai to a ridiculous degree for a long time before she decided enough was enough and changed her look enough to distinguish herself (it still happens occasionally)

Has a twin sister named Aria who masters bad luck, they cancel out when their next to each other

Loves to play with kids and made quick friends with Lloyd

Second oldest at 23

Actually has trained to be a ninja before going with her sister to find Malice, and knows how to get information the "hard" way

Generally a nice person but has limits that only a few people have reached

Like her sister she has a degree of control of both kinds of luck, but mainly doesnt use the bad luck side of her powers

Has a pair of dice and a pair of swords, hopefully you have better luck with the dice or get diced

Ice Angel

A mysterious hero that no one is really close to figuring out

The only known fact is the ice powers, that they're on the side of the people, and they're not human

Goes by they/he/she

Their voice is a mixture of both masculine and feminine

Wears a lot of white and teal

Arch Enemy of the Morro Dragon, Anacondrai Cultists, and Sons of Garmadon

Refuses to have their picture taken and is one of the few things they will call people out on (other than bad behavior)

Kai

Orphaned at the ripe old age of 9

Wears dresses and other female oriented clothes and refuses to stop (the exception being when it's impractical to do so)

A good big brother and substitute parent to his baby sister

Dropped out of school at 13 so he could care for his sister 24/7 and not deal with the bitch of a baby sitter

Is being educated by Zane on what he missed in school for 7 years and is learning quickly

Has a game with Nya on who can make the disaster bi known as Jay blush first, so far he's winning

Finds the resemblance to Kei hilarious and has even convinced her to go as him for Halloween while he went as her

Still sour that his little sister is taller than him

Is aware of his fire powers but still prefers the good old hairspray and lighter combo due to the sheer chaotic energy

Nya

Was 7 when she was orphaned

When she found out Kai ditched school for her she scolded him for a solid 3 hours

Somehow befriended the Gordon kid while she was out playing and they've been friends ever since

Might end you if prompted

Obsessed with Ice Angel and gets with Jay everyday after classes to figure them out

Doesn't like her hair long due to having it pulled a lot when she was younger, very occasionally she'll grow it out

Despite not looking like she can she could twist you into a pretzal

Indulges Lloyd's desire to be thrown at soft surfaces

Speaking of which, she became his teacher in how to speak the language in Ninjago City while he taught her some dragon

Speaks with her hands a lot

Dyed a purple streak into her hair and it drives her brother crazy

Jay

Had celebrity parents and won't let anyone forget it

Tried to be an actor like his birth dad but couldnt deal with all the lights and sounds

Got adopted by a nice couple at a scrapyard and is embarrassed by it (not to the point of ungratefullness)

Kept the surname Gordon instead of Walker because he wants to remember his birth parents

Has adhd but is unmedicated for personal reasons (that being he has had bad history with medication)

Needs to go to therapy

Puts up a bratty, self-centered, "alpha bitch" persona to hide himself

After the event that left his parents dead he found out he's losing sight in his left eye

Is actually very insecure and uses other guys and gals fawning over him to avoid the problem (this causes more problems)

Found a friend in Nya, Kai, and Zane due to similar backgrounds and experiences. Has yet to befriend Cole due to personality clash

Has a bad case of Baby Face, looks much younger but is actually 24 like Cole (This causes much more problems)

Is openly Bi and Trans and refuses to let anyone step on him for it and unintentionally caused the younger lgbtqia+ students to flock to him. He doesn't mind this and will defend them to the death

A hardcore Ice Angel fanboy, would probably die on the spot if he met them

Has made friends with Kei's twin sister Aria and somehow manages to avoid the bad luck from it despite her admitting that she isn't reflecting it or surpressing it at all

Has a pocket knife for emergencies (thankfully unused)

Zane

An android with self esteem issues

Tutors Kai (and occasionally Cole) in school subjects and plans to get a job in education

Playfully debates Ice Angel with Jay and Nya

Wears a black scarf that has seen better days. He got it from his dad before he passed

The tallest member and the only one who can legally drive

The only one who can cook but can't bake for shit

When it came out that he was an android he was initally terrified of possible mistreatment but the worst he's dealt with is people claiming he's cheating during gym or tests (which has been dealt with)

Claims to have a girlfriend on the opposite side of the continent, and he does but obviously no one is going to believe it without proof

Usually seen with a small crowd of overheated classmates during hot days (the only issue being the amount of them)

Despite being metal, he's surprisingly squishy and besides obvious signs of robotics, looks very human

Will call you a two timing back stabbing bitch in the nicest way possible

Morro

A dragon hybrid gone haywire

Will call you a two timing back stabbing bitch in the most blunt way possible

After everything he's been through its a miracle he's not dead

Dramatic and focuses just as much on presentation as he does on anything else

Would sell you to the Preeminent for half a hot dog

Rancid Little Rat Man

Secretly crushing on Ice Angel and commits petty crimes to get their attention

Somehow one of the few people trusted with their true identity

Behavior suggests that he's looking for something

The mere presence of Kei or Aria sets him off

Lives with Ronin bc the alternative is the sewers

[actualbird]

okay. okay, i know this is probably an unpopular/unorthodox take but. in a dghda good omens au i just think it would be really really interesting to entertain the possibility that dirk is crowley and todd is aziraphale

now hear me out

dirk, an angel who did not fall so much as flail vaguely downwards. he didnt do anything bad, per se. he just had way too much curiosity than what was acceptable for an angel. he was always asking questions, and ended up hanging with the wrong crowd, a bunch of demons who had promised him answers. he trusted the wrong people, didnt even get the answers he was promised, and next thing he knows he’s been cast out of heaven and his wings were scorched black. 

dirk, now a demon, who is kinda rubbish at being a demon. who mostly just lets humans do whatever and takes credit for it so that the downstairs doesnt get all up in his business. dirk who thinks that inventing selfies and traffic jams is proper demonic activity. dirk isnt evil so much as an incredible nuisance, and he is good at it. the best, really. and he’s come to learn that annoyed humans do all the evil making on their own.

todd, a principality who does not ask questions, who kinda just accepts things as they come. todd who has been stationed on earth since the beginning of time and slowly, upon seeing what humanity is capable of, has grown to be a little gruff and cynical. he’s still good! or at least he hopes he is, because it’s kinda in the job description of being an angel that he should be good, but he doesnt think he’s doing a stellar job at it. every time he does some miracles, humans always find a way to muck it up. wherever he spreads peace, in a few decades, conflict always breaks out. todd feels like an exhausted janitor of sorts, working so hard to influence people to the Good and getting disappointed whenever people just end up as, well....people.

todd isnt bad at being an angel, he just thinks it’s an absolute slog. not that he’d admit that to anybody. well, anybody other than dirk, when they both meet up and get spectacularly drunk and complain about their respective Sides.

also, theyve been in love with each other for 6000 years but you have GOT to know that already.

other fun things to imagine

todd collects records. he’s always been a huge fan of music ever since humans invented it, and records have had a soft spot in his heart ever since they were created. todd needs a place to put all these records, so he opens a record shop where he sells nothing and is an absolute and utter asshole to any customer to make sure nobody ever tries to buy any of his stuff. one notable time, somebody came in and said “is this a record store?” to which todd replied, surrounded by records, “no.” before shutting the door and locking it.

dirk drives a car, but “drives” and “car” are relative. when dirk says he “drives”, he means that he’s on a mission to break nearly every single traffic rule he can and also give todd a heart attack. when dirk says “car” he means he has a vehicle that changes form between whatever is the flashiest, prettiest car available at that given time period. he does this because he is absolutely vain and also because he knows that humans seeing somebody recklessly drive a very expensive car pisses them off

between the two of them, dirk is the one who mingles with humans a bit more. he’s got the personality for it, or maybe just the utter lack of care of what people think of him. todd prefers to stay out of the way of most humans, only really going in when he has a job to do or selfish earthly pleasures he wants to secretly indulge in (what? he likes concerts? and in his defense, he can make sure that whatever concert he’s at is like....super good, or whatever). but because of dirk’s mingling, this often gets him into trouble. lots of it. and todd, without fail, always comes to save him. dirk always, always tries to thank todd, but todd never accepts it on the grounds that getting thanked by a demon probably isnt proper. 

todd has this habit of reminding dirk hes a demon and dirk has long learned how to stop being offended by it. he figures that todd is just a repressed bastard that needs to justify every little thing to himself, so whenever todd does this, dirk just shrugs and says “whatever keeps you sane, angel.”

and just because im self indulgent, a snippet of how i imagine The Beginning:

“I don’t see what’s so bad about knowing the difference between good and evil anyway,” Dirk says at The Beginning. Todd, next to him, raises his eyebrows. Todd didn’t know demons were in the business of pouting. “Shouldn’t that help them, in the long run?”

“Isn’t wanting to know too much the whole reason why you got in trouble in the first place?” 

Dirk shifts from foot to foot, guilty. “Well...”

“I don’t think we’re supposed to know. Things. The Great Plan.” Todd says, frowning at how ridiculous it sounds and how, for some reason, he doesn’t want to sound ridiculous in front of Dirk. “It’s supposed to be, y’know. Completely impossible to understand. Nobody can put it into words. Nobody should.”

“That seems awfully convenient,” Dirk hums. He looks at Todd, squinting. “Didn’t you used to have a sword?”

“Uh.” Todd looks to the side, inspecting a patch of desert that has become very interesting to him suddenly. 

“You did! It was very impressive, flaming and everything. Where is it?

“Yeah, see---”

Dirk gasps, delighted, “Did you lose it already? This early in the game?”

“I didn’t lose it!” Todd snaps. He takes a breath. Reins himself in. “I just. Gave it away.”

“You gave it away---”

“They needed it more than I did!” Todd says, and he stops himself before he can say more. He doesn’t need to justify himself to a demon. Right?

“Hm,” Dirk looks thoughtful. “I suppose that was rather nice of you.”

“It’s not nice,” Todd says. “It’s...good. Hopefully.”

“Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t,” Dirk says. “One on hand, helping humans does seem to be the correct course of action for your kind. On the other, I’m unsure if them having a great flaming sword is part of The Great Plan, or whatever it is. Or if you had the right to give the thing away in the first place. Would this count as disobedience? Or is it not, because nobody’s come down and called you out for it, yet? Good and evil seem completely relative, if you think about it.”

“You’re not making me feel any better,” Todd grumbles.

“You know, it’s kind of funny, actually,” Dirk smiles. It catches Todd off guard, Dirk’s smile. It’s bright and kind, nothing like what he assumes demons must be. “What if you did the wrong thing and I did the right one? Funny if we got it both wrong, huh?”

"Not really,” Todd says.

Dirk looks towards the horizon. The grey storm clouds creeping in. Above them, the first drops of rain begin to fall.

“No,” Dirk says. “I suppose not.”

Todd looks at Dirk, the demon, the serpent that tempted the first humans into going out of God’s favor, and sighs. Todd raises one wing above Dirk’s head, and Dirk smiles gratefully, shuffling under its cover.

okay. okay im done. for now.

[chernonbyl-moved]

*ive made an old western/au for my ocs! idk if theyre anthrophormized /humanized thats rlly up to you but what i have for now is

Ana

formely in a gang, left after like 8 months for some honest job and actually managed to have a actual network business going onthen got too tired of this life and decided to move on to become a bounty hunter leaving her old posessions and owned buildings to both children she left both children with hara, as she didnt know if she would find a job outside the gang and wanted her children to stay at a place with food and with someone she knew

* skilled > knows how to hunt and how to survive in the wild > knows a wild variety of flowers that can be used for medicine or other purposes * altough, not a good shooter > she never really used a gun, in her old gang all she did was the cooking part and hunting > but, shes extremely clever and good at handling white weapons and throwing knives > doesnt confronts her victims and would rather catch them while sleeping or lure them > doesnt know the name of the guns lol

Hara used to be in the same gang ana was, but came very late but stayed there for at least 7 years or so helped ana flee the gang, she told her to run with her too but hara stayed, secretly hates her for running away, took care of both of her children and taught them everything they knew, later on Ana gave her ownership of her posessions *intimidating > despite being very small, shes. not fucking around > cannot stand men because most of the time, theyre the ones that challenge her skills most of the time but of course hara isnt the “all bark and no bite” type they all regretted later > “if you test me again, your family will never find your body” *very good at management of resources > has lived long enough to tell whats important, whats gonna last long and what isnt > tends to write down EVERYTHING, because she doesnt trusts anybody and is p sure theres a cockroach that sometime steals things despite everything, she raised ana’s children well, she sometimes worry if she failed to teach them kindness left the gang later to handle the business ana left for them Mary the youngest daughter of Ana, is old enough to manage her mother’s network but cannot because of Hara, much to hara’s dismay she managed to own one of the bars in a infamous town Mary is known for being THAT BITCH, she enjoys a good whiskey and company and also a good fight, men know her for being “hard to get”, difficult to marry” and “never took a man in” little they know; shes a huge lesbian *her own saloon > shes on there almost every night, either serving the drinks or watching her brother play the piano > makes sure all ladies are comfortable and happy, no one notices shes lowkey flirting with them > on that subject; youre allowed to do almost anything, cheat on poker, fight, piss on someone, but disrespect a lady?? youre out > its a good way for gangs to meet, she has a “secret discount” for her “favorite gangs”, sells informations to fellas if they pay more too > can tell who is new to the town and who isnt *fighter > WILL fight if forced to, again shes that bitch and she will punch you and she wil win >does no harm but takes no shit >only attacks men who have taken it too far, many call her a bitch but she doesnt care she never really cared > on that subject; if you say ONE mean thing to her brother, youre a dead man Isaac is the oldest brother, but way more anxious and smaller, he couldve stayed with hara after mary wanted her own thing going on but he and his sister are pretty much inseparable, plus hes scared of hara, actually met ana once but doesnt have an opinion on her he always wanted to have a calm hermit life on a farm but also live with mary, but since shes much more outgoing and sociable it just kinda made it hard for both of them, she promsied him she would save up enough to buy a farm for him  *At the saloon > Isaac plays the piano, he learned young from José, an old gang member > he doesnt talks to others much because hes nervous, sometimes plays poker but asks mary to join him because hes too scared to interact with other strangers, she does all the talk for him > HATES alcohol would drink coca-cola if it didnt had literal cocaine on it, is stuck with coffee forever which makes him even more anxious > SOMETIMES he talks to others, theres few people he knows and likes to talk to *nervousness >isaacs been nervous for long as he can remember, hes small and not that intimidating so hes easily picked on, is scared to be seem > mary does almost everything for him, picks his mail, goes to doctor with him, does the talk for him n etc, hes grateful to have a sister who actually cares about him and supports his hobbies and intersts > his anxiety led him to learn some skills to calm such as drawing or fishing, hes actually a good artist!

[sirensongster]

consider: aziraphale putting a flower crown on crowley and like- arranging his hair so it falls perfectly that night he spent hours reading flower books so that he could choose the prettiest flowers to put on his demon boyfriend's head

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my god. oh my god. i love this. fuck yes. flower crown crowley. upgrade to this: its the night of their wedding. so instead of a veil crowley gets a FLOWER CROWN.yes he is the bride. anathema helped him pick out the dress and its just lovely. its got long sleeves and it’s white like a traditional wedding dress. aziraphales in black. they wanted to wear eachothers colours for this and their wings are out the whole ceremony. crowleys in heels. this is off the rails quite a lot but FUCK IT THAT DOESNT MATTER. its wedding time bitches. oh yeah no one really “officiates” the wedding, the papers are done before hand. they just wanted a party but are they going to bring in a priest? no. fuck that. anathema is where the priest normally is because they dont actually know more than four humans! like who the fuck else was going to do it, shadwell???? no! oh yeah and the them (excluding pepper) are the flower boys and pepper gets to be the ring bearer, because who trusts an 11 year old boy with two blessed/cursed rings? oh yeah ring time bitch. aziraphales ring is a black snake with yellow eyes thats cursed to tighten every time crowleys scared/hurt/in trouble, and crowleys is a set of wings, blessed to tighten whenever aziraphale is scared/hurt/in trouble. and the fact that theyre blessed/cursed just makes it better because theyre immune to blessings/curses/holy water/hell fire respectively, while those who are actually a threat to them arent. its like a tiny reminder of “hey. come closer and you’re probably going to die. fuck off gabriel.” when they kiss at the whatever the fuck its called (altar?? podium??? stand???????? help.) they put their wings in the way. aziraphale ends up with a feather in his hair but thats ok. the reception is fucking incredible, they end up just all going to crowleys flat bc its sure as hell big enough and what would they even rent out?? theres nothing *in* tadfield. and its not like they want to miracle everyone somewhere, they dont want to attract the attention of heaven OR hell. especially not during their wedding, while crowleys in a long fuck off dress that he probably wont be able to run in very well. ANYWAYS. when they get to crowleys flat theres just. so much liquor. and punch for the kiddos. the thems parents dont exactly approve of the fact that theres literally a barrels worth of vodka while theres children but ok i guess. its not like the kids are going to drink any or the adults are going to do more than a shot or two before the kids leave. the kids do end up leaving at like 7, and most of the party time was just old stories that humans dont have anymore, odd stories of shenanigans they got up to in rome (not anything dirty, hell most of the stories theyre not even together in. theres about 30 minutes of aziraphale just talking about what he did while crowley was hibernating for a century.) after the them are gone everyone just goes fuckin BONKERS. everyone who was at armageddon was invited because they all definitely kept in touch, but thats it. again, these two are the top hermits in all of history. they just fucked around most of history not bothering much with befriending humans. crowley did pay more attention in the human relations part of things but does he ever talk to them again after a temptation? no. no he does not. so theres only like 6 adults. and god are they all hammered. all but madame tracy are light weights. the humans anyways, these two have been heavy drinkers for millennia. aziraphale and crowley drank at least 10x what a human could possibly drink before getting alcohol poisoning and dying. that does not mean they have a tolerance at all. they just get really funny between the 3rd drink and whenever they decide to stop. and cuddly. crowley doesnt stop touching aziraphale the whole time. not even in a sexual way at all hes just like. sitting in his lap. or being carried. or playing with ziras wing bc GOD ARE HIS FEATHERS SOFT. zira doesnt take care of them well though so crowley ends up just silently sitting behind zira and putting all the feathers where they should be an all that while zira goes off about cake or something. anathema finds this adorable. probably because she cant stop laughing her ass off at everything. [newt brought weed brownies. anathema ate like 4. the new husbands arent gonna let her die or end up in the hospital though. shell bee fine.] I FORGOT TO TALK ABOUT THE CAKE. its really cheesy. it does have white icing like a traditional wedding cake, but the inside is pink. like its just pink from food colouring. its just a vanilla cake dyed pink. now you may be thinking, whos idea was it to make the cake PINK? crowleys. crowley wanted a pink cake. no one but aziraphale knows this. aziraphale finds it really really cute. everyone else thinks it was aziraphales doing but NOPE. its also got lil angel and demon cake toppers but its not of them, no. theyre store bought. crowley thought it would be funny and aziraphale went with it. (he secretly also found it funny, but also found it inappropriate to laugh at it.) theres no professional photographer, aziraphale didnt really want to involve more humans in this than their friends, and its not like most of their memories together have been documented at all. photos have only been around like 200ish years, thats nothing in the face of 6 millennia. this does not however, stop anathema and newt from taking a million pictures on their phones. at least they have the sense to not take pictures when crowley starts crying. though its not like thye could get a good picture of that anyways, wings are really easy to hide behind when theyre that big. oh shit i really went off the rails on this one but thats ok. ive a feeling no one really minds. oh yeah the actual fuckin wedding is in crowleys greenhouse. its impossibly big. and logically should not fit in the flat at all. that one was somewhat hard to explain to beelzebub, but its not like they really care that much. they were just curious as to what the FUCK one demon could do with a greenhouse of all things. they did not get an answer. just a flower pot to the face and a run away demon. beelz wasnt even all that mad just suprised like the audacity of that mother fucker. anyways. the (altar?? podium?? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING CALLED I STILL HAVENT FIGURED IT OUT AND ITS BEEN 5 MINUTES) was literally grown. its like a flower bush (more like two) that were grown in an arc. crowley did not clear much space for this at all, just the isle and enough chairs for everyone. not that he moved plants for those. just put chairs on top of short plants. the thems parents were really really fuckin confused as to “what the hell?? how did they do this. what.” but stayed because no one else seemed to be bothered much by it, the kids were like ‘same shit as always’ and the grooms seemed happy about this. it was a hassle to actually get to the chairs without stepping on the plants though. and didrie (is that how its spelled??? adams mom.) swears she saw some of the plants trembling when the petals were thrown. she also swears that the bride has snake eyes?? crowley doesnt wear his sunglasses the whole time so all the lights are a bit dimmed, not quite to the point that the humans cant see but if they were any lower it might have been a bit of a problem. especially with all of the mother fucking VINES. why are there vines all over the place crowley?? he does not have an answer. he may have gone over board a few years ago and just. leaves them there. theyre not hurting anybody. SPEAKING OF CROWLEYS SNAKE FEATURES! crowley ends up stammering and hissing through his vows. aziraphale finds this adorable. look at my hissy idiot. i love him. thats all that goes through ziras head. eventually he just lifts his wing so no one can see and kisses him because they both know crowley isnt goign to be able to say it in the next ten minutes. oh yeah their vows are done in latin. because what else would they do it in? also they bless/curse one another in their vows. because it cant hurt them, and its like the rings from earlier. no one with intent to harm them can touch them now without being burned by the blessing/curse. anyone. it can bee beelzebub or gabriel or some human, theyre getting burned. zira lets crowley finish the curse before kissing him obviously. all humans but anathema are confused by this, anathema learned latin as a teenager to better be able to understand occult books. she regrets the fact that she can understand them because theyre being very very lovey dovey and she thinks they did it in latin so no one would be able to understand them. so she just stands there and ends up with her face red as a tomato by the time they’re done. newt is kinda concerned and very confused because “what just happened??? i know that was vows. i think.”

[quitealotofsodapop]

MvA assorted headcanons

General:

So many years together has made the core monsters inseperable. If something affects one member, it affects the group.

All. The. Monsters. Are. Family.

It takes Susan a while to understand inside jokes and past incidents because of being the most recent addition.

There are Other anomalous creatures kept in Area 5X, but they are either non-sentient and/or are too dangerous to be kept around the more human-friendly monster group.

Area 5X is so gotdang big because they were expecting a lot more kaijus like Insecto to crop up. Sadly not many have surfaced to justify the space.

There’s a hangar in Area 5X full of wrecked UFOs. Some are spacecraft wreckage while others are stuff like weird meteors (Susan’s is in there), and at least one alien creature that got crystallised upon entering Earth’s atmosphere.

There’s significant difference in staff employed at different points throughout the past 50 years. There are far more women on the Area 5X worksheet than back in the 50s, and the guards are generally more sympathetic towards the monsters. Many modern staff members have been reprimanded or let go for failing to uphold secrecy, or for unnecessary cruelty towards the monsters.

Budget cuts were a legitmate concern up until the Battle of Golden Gate Bridge. The facility was far more barebones and sterile before the government had to formally recognise Area 5X’s importance. There have been a lot of redecorating at the facilty since the fat checks started coming in.

Putting individual characters under read due to length.

Susan:

Enjoys many hobbies considered stereotypically feminine; baking, sewing, cosmetics, etc...

Grandparents and extended family are farmers or are atleast connected to the business. Modesto is the agricultural centre of California after all. Her parents were the first of their generation to go against the mold and seek out white-collar careers.

Studied cosmetology in school and was working at a beauty salon to save up for her and Derek’s wedding.

Is very athletic and grew up doing a number of physical extracurriculars like cheerleading, dodgeball, and roller-derby.

Grew up being teased for being the shortest kid in her class/family. They still tease her for it.

Greatly fears causing collateral damage and/or harm to others through her size.

Has issues with anxiety, worsened only by her new job as “savior of earth”. She wishes for a confidant to tell her worries to.

Married life with Derek was doomed to fail. Susan had a plan in place for what came after the marriage, and focusing 100% on Derek’s career was not it. There’s also the line from Derek’s mother about Susan being “the weatherman’s wife”, implying that she was to be the homemaker and not have a career of her own. It’s possible that Susan was planning to settle down and have kids with Derek, but the lack of control she had in moving to Fresno implied that more was going on.

Is currently “taking a break” from love and dating, despite gaining many new admirers.

Tries her best to return to Modesto to visit her family and friends whenever possible, though work often keeps her away for weeks at a time.

If she retains her height-shifting abilities as in the series; Susan goes through really bad “growing” pains.

Link:

Was frozen in his relative late-teens during a cold snap. Got shifted around until he ended up somewhere in Greenland before being discovered by modern humans. Post-thaw he went a bit wild, swimming frantically back south to try and find his old enviroment.

Was one of many scrappy youngsters in his troop, with a number of adoptive parents. The strongest ruled the troop, and Link was fairly weak in comparision to the leaders. He had gotten into a fight the day of his freezing (over something silly in hindsight) and swam away to sulk. When he didn’t return after the cold snap - the troop accepted that he had likely died out on his own.

Likes to freak out humans by making up weird biology facts about his species and ones he’s fought against - like joking about laying eggs or having his tail dettach and regrow like a lizard. However there’s some things he has to ask about, because he doesn’t have medical knowledge or words to describe something.

A lot of his macho behavior came from imitating the guards who kept watch on him. 1950s violent military alpha males aren't a very good role model for someone who doesnt know what societal norms are yet. Link was a lot more insufferable back in the day but chilled out as he began interacting with other walks of life.

Has a high paternal instinct and immediately becomes softer around kids and smaller animals.

Has body language similar to a cat/alligator. Slaps his tail when angry or in deep thought. And yes; Link purrs/rumbles when happy.

Loves monster movies - especially the ones where the monsters “win”. He cried when he saw “Beauty and the Beast” and then immediately booed loudly when the Beast turned human.

Does Not Trust doctors or scientists due to bad past experiences. Will only go to Dr Cockroach and Monger if he ever gets hurt/ill. Gets stressed fast if he has to be in a waiting room or doctors office.

Link had no idea what gender indentities or orientations were until recently - he did come from a pre-human civilization that really didnt mind/care about the schemantics. It took him some time to wrap his head around it. He identifies himself as bisexual after much thought and many hours alone on the computer.

Don't press him about his body. He's built different from humans and cis people. He will punch anyone who doesnt respect his or anyone elses identity.

Has been in love before. It didn’t end well.

Will occasionally wear clothes, but finds it a challenge to find anything that fits him. Will give any shoes he finds to Dr Cockroach and BOB to eat.

The best driver/pilot out of all the monsters.

Dr Cockroach:

True name is Jaques-Yves Herbert. Prefers to just go by "Dr Cockroach" because he dislikes the association with his birth family.

Picks up human languages very easily, although not as quickly as he can understand animals.

Parents were a mixed scientist couple. His father was an aggressive “Strong British Man” that would beat him son down for not following orders or for not meeting his standards for a man. Dr C turned down both chances to attend his parents funerals.

This man isn’t straight. He probably uses old-fashioned slang when asked about romance such as; “I am Uranian” or “I wear a green carnation”. It took Susan a few times to realise what he meant, as she is used to a more open minded enviroment.

Got the idea of transforming into a cockroach from reading Franz Kafkas “The Metamorphosis” as a child. He sympathized with Gregor’s abusive situation, and began considering the possibilties of how one could survive better as a creature like a cockroach.

Studied in biology and entomology in the Uk before moving to the states to follow engineering. Obtained his degree in Dance as a “side gig” in University.

Has been barred from free access to the coffee maker/machine due to overnighters. Once stayed awake so long that he forgot the letter “R”.

Owned a terrarium of Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches throughout college. He mourned each of them when his roommate’s iguana got into the tank.

Was a "beatnik" back in the day and still kinda is. Embraces and encourages modern counterculture as he himself was not given such acceptance in his youth. He has however shamefully eaten his old Lenny Bruce album.

Hasn’t actually aged physically since his transformation. He attributes this to the fact that certain athropods can’t age physically beyond maturity. Link is very jealous.

Has obtained more degrees while in captivity, as Monger allowed him access to research and learning materials. He has however had his allowances revoked for previous escape attempts/doomsday devices.

Does still enjoy human food, but the cockroach instinct of "eat detritus" tends to overrule his eating choices. Can’t cook either.

Ironically a terrible driver. The damages from previous drives has made Monger restrict him from operating even a razor scooter.

BOB:

Pretty much considers himself human. Was created by them, raised by one (Monger), and talks like one. Gets sad when he's reminded that no other humans are blue blobs like him.

Absorbed some dna from the scientists present at his "birth", leading to his eye, speech, and omnivorous diet.

Doesnt actually need to breathe (as he can just absorb oxygen through his mass) but the fact that humans Do means that BOB thinks he has to as well.

Shares some physical characteristics with tomatoes/nightshade plants, as he is technically half tomato. He refuses to eat tomatos for this very reason, considering it cannibalism.

Attracts garden pests looking for a tomato plant. This unwittingly makes BOB a pretty good bug zapper.

Still retains his "mental broadcast" ability from "BOB's Big Break" although at a more subtle level. He tends to parrot the things he accidentally "eavesdropped" on.

Is empathetic, and can tell when others aren't doing ok emotionally. Will flop down on someone who’s really sad to comfort them. No brain, only heart.

Best cook out of the monsters. If he doesn’t forget what he’s making at least.

"Whats a gender? Can I eat it?"

Insectosaurus:

Core body is that of a Japanese Silkmoth, although she ended up being spliced with other animals present on the island during her initial mutation; namely ants and ground squirrels.

Eats over a literal ton of mulberry leaves per day. Also enjoys oranges.

Secretly wishes to be more humanoid.

Was only able to pupate and transform due to physical trauma. It seems that her transformation was like a “power-up” that required her to be in geniune distress for it to activate.

First language is Japanese. She learned it from the intial recovery team, and later developed an understanding of English from years in Area 5X.

Goes into torpor in cold weather. Pretty much impossible to wake her up for missions during Winter, as she needs to “rev up” before becoming mobile.

Still very much Link’s best friend. Still enjoys sports, chicks, and beer.

Monger:

Full name is; Warren Rex Monger.

Is very protective of the monsters and will defend them to the death.

Pretty much raised BOB (as seen when BOB was a baby blob in “Night of the Living Carrots”), and considers him his “freaky gelatinous son”.

Has a reputation of being a “control-freak” due to his aggressive overseeing of the monsters’ containment. This toughness is partly because of incidents that occured without his knowledge. Lets just say some scientists have been wedgied/fired for running experiments on the monsters without Monger’s approval.

Has a very “Ron Swanson” emotional response and view of the world. Crying is acceptable only at funerals and at the Grand Canyon (if he hadn’t lost his tear ducts in the war).

Has been married multiple times. Will not confirm or deny if he is currently seeing anyone.

Invisible Man/TiM:

Legit got out but no one at Area 5X is sure how. He suffered a geniune medical emergency and disappeared after surgery. The other monsters were informed that he died from complications to deter them from getting escape ideas.

Is able to be detected in Infrared light. Dr Cockroach managed to rig up goggles to view TiM in case of injury and to foil pranks.

Was a scientist working on an invisibility potion for the military and used himself as a guinea pig. Hasn’t actually been able to replicate his results since - thinks the effect may have been caused by a genetic abnormality.

Dr Cockroach and him are massive rivals. Both actually met eachother pre-transformation through a CalTech expedition. This makes the pair one of few people that have seen the others human face.

Is 100% naked. Was forced to wear clothing once this was discovered.

A massive prankster and a cynic. Him and Link were a force to be reckoned with.

Has revisted the facility multiple times and has started a number of ghost stories.

Any additions are welcome! I proably have alot more to dump about. Might make one of the alien characters from the series

[hamilton-one-shots]

1, 9, 17, 31, 43, 62, 74, 110, 111, 113, 118, 124, 141, 142, 143, 157 Jamilams were john js secretly adopted by the laurens family and they knew his parents who had died when he was very young, he is also magical and stuff but he doesnt like to show it off and he had known for a while but he had to have special permission to tell anyone so he hadn't told thomas and alex but they find out and get upset about it.

(1: “Give me a chance.” 9: “I can’t believe you!” 17: “Are you upset with me?” 31: “I fucked up.” 43: “You’re special to me.” 62: “I want to protect you.” 74: “Of course I remembered!” 110: “You did what?!” 111: “You have… Superpowers?” 113: “Where did all these puppies come from?” 118: “Are you mad at me?” 124: “Take that back!” 141: “Did you hear that?” 142: “It’s just your imagination.” 143: “Just how stupid do you think I am?” 157: “I read your diary.”)

“Please, Henry. He has nobody else. We’re the only chance he has. Nobody else will know about his powers. Imagine how confused or scared he’ll be..” Eleanor looked down at the baby in her arms, watching as he reached up for her.

“I’m too busy to deal with a kid right now. He’ll be too much trouble.”

“I’ll take care of him. You don’t have to do anything, I promise. I’ll take care of him..”

Henry sighed. His wife was too stubborn. “Fine. As long as I don’t have to deal with him, fine.”

Eleanor smiled and went out into the hall, calling the social workers back in and making the adoption final.

As promised, it was her who raised John since he was a kid, having no trouble, even when his powers began to manifest.

A four year old John looked over at the teddy bears for sale and smiled, concentrating and making one float towards him. He giggled as it reached him and hugged it, trying to hide it from his mom as she came back to the cart.

“Johnny? What are you hiding there?”

He giggled and turned it invisible.

“Johnny, show mommy what you have or no ice cream after this.”

John pouted and showed her the teddy bear. “Sowwy…”

She took the bear and kissed his forehead. “You’re not in trouble. Your powers are special, but that doesn’t mean you can use them to get what you want, okay?”

“Okay..”

Eleanor sighed and gave him back the teddy bear. “Just this once, okay? I’ll buy it for you.”

John gasped and hugged him tightly. “Thank you, mama!”

She smiled. John really was a good kid when he wanted to be. But with those powers of his, he could be difficult.

“Come on, Johnny. You have to go to school. You can learn fun things and make friends.”

All twenty of five year old John’s clones crossed their arms, the real one hiding somewhere among them. “No school! I want to stay with mommy and my future sister.”

Eleanor sighed and rubbed her belly. These last few months hadn’t been easy and now, with John starting kindergarten, they would only get that much more difficult. “Please, baby? You’ll learn a lot of things and it’ll make you a better brother.”

“… Really?..”

She smiled. “Yeah. Everyone wants a smart big brother.”

The clones all joined back into one, who went forward and hugged his mom’s legs. “I’ll go to school..”

“Good boy.”

John never meant harm with his powers. He always used them for fun or to get himself out of trouble, but never to hurt another human being. He didn’t understand why nobody else had the same powers as him, but he accepted it as truth and promised his mom that he’d never show them off to strangers. He kept that promise for years and planned on continuing to keep that promise. He planned on keeping every promise he made to his mom when she passed.

“Mama?..” John called timidly as he walked into his mother’s hospital room. He was only eight, his three year old sister waiting with his father. He told him that his mother needed to see him, that maybe he could use his powers for something useful.

“I’m here, baby.. Thank you for coming to see me.” She smiled weakly.

John frowned and went up to her bed, his eyes tearing up. He’d never seen his mother so hurt…

“Don’t cry, Jacky.” She opened her arms and helped him up onto her bed.

“You’re hurt.. I’m going to help.” His hands glowed white as he got ready to heal her, but she took his hands, shaking her head.

“No, John. It’s my time. I’m going to go now.”

“But you can’t… Who’s going to take care of the babies?” That’s how she got so badly hurt, after all. Giving birth to John’s youngest siblings, triplets.

“You are. I’ve taught you everything you needed to know. They’re going to be good babies, just like you were. Everything’s going to be okay now, understand?”

“No..” John began crying, holding onto his mom as tears streamed down his face. “Please, mama… Let me heal you…”

“It’s too late for me, baby. It has been since you got here.. It’s not your fault, okay?”

John nodded, though he wished that she would at least let him try.

“I’m going to go now, okay?.. I’ll see you on the other side.” She kissed the top of his head. “I love you.”

“I love you too..” John choked out, sobbing as her heart slowed to a stop.

Doctors and nurses came into the room, one of them getting John away and taking him out to his dad.

Henry frowned and grabbed John’s shoulder harshly, pulling him close to talk to him where none of the staff could hear. “Those stupid powers and you couldn’t even save your mother? I knew it was a waste adopting you.”

“W-What?..”

“You don’t really think a freak like you came from normal people like us, did you?”

“But… I… Momma?..”

“Not your mom. Your parents were experimented on like the freaks that they were. Like the freak that you are.”

John whimpered as his grip on his shoulder tightened.

“You aren’t going to act like that anymore. You will act normal, unless you want to see your parents sooner.”

What choice did he have? John learned to suppress his powers around people, around everyone, even around his siblings. He didn’t use magic near them, he raised them on his own with hard work. His father didn’t do much for them, they reminded to much of his wife, as he harshly reminded John whenever he asked for help. It was exhausting and stressful and John couldn’t have done it if it hadn’t been for his hideaway.

An unfortunate consequence of his mother’s death was having to leave South Carolina and move to a new, bigger house in New York. It sucked, it always sucked being the new guy, but John did find one upside to it. His closet had a small door hidden away in the corner. It led to the area above the garage, but that’s not what he used it for. He made a space all his own, leaving the real world outside and the magic world inside. He escaped every time he needed a break, time stopping in the real world as he spent hours in his room. It kept him sane.

But he still wished he could tell. He wished he could tell the friends that he made when he moved to New York. He wished he could tell the friends he left back in South Carolina. He wished he could tell his siblings.

And, god, he wished he could tell his loves.

Alexander and Thomas. Maybe it was strange that he had two boyfriends, but it was perfect for him. Perfect for them. They had all met freshman year and were dating for three years since. John was in love with both of them and they were both in love with him as well as each other They were happy together. John just wished he could let them into his magical life.

Of course, three years with them felt magical enough. They even loved his siblings. Naturally, they started the day of their third anniversary, when Henry Sr was coincidentally away for a week, by playing a game of hide and seek with his siblings.

It… It started out normal. The problem was that children were far too curious and far too creative.

John was hiding under his bed when it happened. He was silent, but something still managed to find him, licking his face. “What the..?” He used his phone flashlight and saw the beagle that was in his face. “Where did you some from?..”

But it wasn’t just him. He heard other voices in the house reacting to the same thing.

“Woah, where did all these puppies come from?!”

“There’s so many of them!”

“They’re so cute!”

John moved out from his hiding space, the puppy at his feet, and watched as at least ten puppies attracted his siblings and boyfriends. And the kicker? James was in his closet and Henry Jr was nowhere to be found. “James. Come here.”

James shyly stepped towards him. “I read your diary and opened your little door.”

“Diary?..”

James nodded and gave him his spellbook. “I couldn’t understand your secret code. Are you upset with me?”

John shook his head and flipped through the pages, James unconvinced because of the look on his older brother’s face.

“Are you mad at me, then?”

“No, it’s fine. How much did you read?”

James took the book and showed him which spells he read. Magic realm available to normals and summoning puppies. The two first two things that caught the attention of a couple of ten year old boys.

“And Henry is in that door?..”

“Yeah.”

John went in and brought him out. Of course, there was another batch of puppies around him. “Alright guys, fun’s over. Say goodbye to the puppies. You know dad wouldn’t like this.”

They all pouted, but knew John was right, Alexander and Thomas just looking at him dumbfounded.

“What are you going to do with all of them, hon?” Thomas asked.

“Just trust me. Nothing bad.” He pushed everyone out of his room and made sure three times that all of the puppies were in his room before making them disappear. Once they were gone, he opened his door again and let his siblings back in, erasing their memory of what had happened before bringing his boyfriends in.

“Jack, we need an explanation.”

John tried his best to ignore them and cast the spell. It hurt, but it was necessary.

The rest of the day went smoothly, but the guilt ate at John the entire time.

The next day, they hung out again, staying at Thomas’s house since his parents were gone. Neither of them looked happy when John arrived.

“What’s wrong?”

“Just how stupid do you think we are?” Alexander snapped.

John frowned and took a step back, shocked. “What?”

“You heard me! You have to think we’re idiots to think your little hypnosis trick worked on us. We’re not kids!”

John furrowed his eyebrows, his expression shifting from confusion to shock seconds later. “You remember?..”

“Of course we remember.” Thomas frowned. “Why wouldn’t we?”

“You’re not supposed to..” John looked down at his hands, then back up at them.

“Why not? What’s going on, babe?”

John shook his head. This couldn’t be happening. His hands glowed white and he wiped their memories again. Or, at least, he attempted to. Both of them seemed to be disoriented, but their memories were definitely intact.

“Why do your hands glow like that?!” Thomas asked. “It happened yesterday, too. We forgot it for a bit, but we both remembered it this morning.”

“It’s just your imagination.”

“Bullshit.” Alexander grabbed John’s wrist and showed him his glowing hands. “This is our imaginations?”

John took a deep breath. Okay. This was no time to panic. This was just time… for the truth. “Okay… The truth is… I’m magic.”

Thomas furrowed his eyebrows. “You have… Superpowers?..”

“No, not super. Magic. Those puppies that appeared yesterday? Magic. That memory lapse you guys had? Magic.”

“Oh,” Alexander began sarcastically, “did you hear that, Thomas? All that craziness can be explained with magic. We’re dating freaking Harry Potter.”

“Alex-”

“I can’t believe you! Of all the lies you could’ve chosen, magic is where you go to?!”

John frowned. “It’s not a lie. I know magic, real magic. I can show you, just give me a chance..”

Alexander opened his mouth to yell, stopping as he felt Thomas’s hand weighing down on his shoulder. He groaned and rolled his eyes. “Fine.”

John smiled weakly and his hands glowed for a second, a rabbit manifesting in the white glow. “Tacky, I know. Bunny trick..”

Thomas hesitantly stepped forward and pet the rabbit, shocked to feel its warmth, almost as if he hadn’t been expecting it to be alive. “Wow…”

Alexander joined him, petting the rabbit between the ears. “I fucked up… I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that…”

“No, it’s my fault. You guys are special to me… I wanted to protect you..”

“From what?” Thomas asked, leading John to sit with him and Alexander on the couch.

“Magic is tempting, especially for those who grow up without it. I didn’t want to see you guys corrupted by the power it could bring or ruin our relationship by not doing anything for you guys.” John sat with his Alexander on his left, hand on his leg, and Thomas on his right, arm around his shoulders.

“I promise we won’t ask for a thing, sugar. You’re still our Johnny, the exact same as before.” Thomas pressed a sweet kiss to John’s forehead.

Alexander nodded. “So… Can I ask what you did to us yesterday?..”

John smiled a bit. Nobody ever liked this detail. “I, uh… I tried to erase your memories…”

“You did what?!” Alexander gasped, clutching his head.  

“Just the part with the puppies! I didn’t erase anything important.”

“Easy, kitten. You know Johnny wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

Alexander glared lightly at Thomas. “You know I hate that nickname…”

Thomas shrugged. “I don’t know why. You’re feisty like a little kitten. And you’re adorable like one, too.”

“Take that back!” Alexander pouted, proving his point.

“Just sit down, kitten. Come on. Johnny needs both of his boys right now, don’t you?”

John nodded and held his arms open for Alexander. “Come here.”

Alexander tutted, but sat down, leaning against John.

“You guys have to swear that you’ll never tell anyone about this. I’m not even supposed to tell you. But, for some reason, I can’t erase your minds.”

“Of course. I wouldn’t tell anyone.”

“Me neither. It was just weird to learn about.”

“Good. I love you guys so much.” He kissed both of their cheeks as they returned the sentiment. As they laid there, John had a thought. Maybe he couldn’t erase their memories simply because he didn’t want to. Deep down, he didn’t want them to forget. He needed to tell someone and they were perfect. Or, maybe, someone was keeping him from erasing their memories. Someone who loved him and who knew that he needed to tell someone else, like them. Whatever the reason was, John didn’t care. He was happy. His boys were happy, even knowing what he was. That was all that mattered.

[arreumddawo]

27/3/21

HIIIIIIIIII, i’ve only blinked and its already MARCH. this time last year, what was i doing? i think i’ve already went for this current job interview and then a while later, the lockdown was announced~ but wow, time really flies huh. *cues the angmoh man blinking gif*

for the most part, i really want to write down the feelings i’ve been feeling (melancholy and loneliness) for the past few days and how i’ve sorted them out internally AND how i just want the future nabilah to just READ this and REMIND HERSELF that everything will be okay. it will be okay you dramatic, overreacting bitch! it will be okay. haha okay lets starteu~

#/melancholy 

i’ve been feeling downcast the past few days. i dont even know where to begin. melancholy as well as feelings of sadness and depression have always been a part of me since 2017 im not gonna lie but lately, these episodes got a little bad despite me trying to keep myself occupied hahah. for the most part, i am just really really afraid of getting older. i really am. its not so much of the “getting older part” which gets to me i guess but its more of how lately, i just want to turn the hands of time and go back to my past when i was 16 in secondary school (heck even primary school) and just live a life where i didnt have to worry about anything except for studying you know? where times were simpler and i was (definitely) happier. i miss wearing a school uniform, i miss only having to worry about my studies, i miss being at home at noon and watching disney channel until i accidentally nap and not understanding trig/physics/chem. oh- what id give to be in my youth again. id do anything. i would study harder and change my whole course of life and hope that i could be someone im proud of. im desperately clinging on to good memories. i terribly miss being young. i really do.

and recently, i feel like im expiring, i feel old (really old) which is funny cos ive only turned 23 BUT the fact will always be that im turning 24 this year (2021) AND its when the bone-crushing realisation of getting old really sinks in (for me). i find myself looking back at my accomplishments (which trust me is little to none) and i just feel like people are accomplishing great things (even at such a young age). there’s nothing in my life where i can truly be proud of. what have you done with your life, nabilah? questions i ask myself everyday. but then again, people would say the past experiences have shaped who i am today and without them, i would’ve been a completely different person WHICH brings me back to the next point. the current me right now who is writing this post is not someone im all that proud of either. i feel like- i feel like im struggling (keyword: struggling) to achieve great things before i turn 30 (and trust me when i say i dont even want to live that long of a life). i’m tired of adulting, of getting old, of having to worry about financial issues, of having to worry about whether i’m at that milestone where everyone expects me to be, of wondering whether im really suited for this field im currently working in. im aware that it may be very shallow of me to think this way considering that there are some people in their 30s who will probably read this, laugh at me and say “you’re still young + you still have a long way + you still have time to figure out your life” but the FACT is THAT im NOT young! i still have a long time to figure out my life? yeah that is if i plan to live way over my 30s (which i DONT). side note, my biggest fear is actually living a long life. so.. like.. what now?  

#/loneliness

this is a very touchy topic for me considering that i am planning to devote myself to the single life and dying a virgin because i really dont think (keyword: really, really) there’s a man good enough for me out there. even if there is, he lives only in my imagination. and yes, as embarrassed as i am to admit it, YES i do feel lonely at times. honestly, i really thought that loneliness is something im able to handle really well considering that ive been single.. what? my whole life? LOL HAHAHAH (its true. sucks to be ugly.) but yeahhhh as of late, during times when things get hard at work and i start tearing up in public transport on the way home, when home doesnt feel like home anymore, when the world conspires against me... i look up and wonder @God, “don’t i deserve someone who i can talk to, who loves me for who i am, who doesnt mind the mess i am?” ok that was abit cringey but yeah i used to be ashamed of secretly wanting someone special despite swearing to the single life BUT thats just how it is! and honestly i feel that humans are not psychologically meant to be lonely, that is why we’ll always crave for a partner (even if we dont need one). but all that aside, its not like im going to even try and find one (like i said, there is no one good enough for me out there) and i absolutely detest the idea of getting married and having kids so i will have to suck this lonely feeling up and just live. for the most part, i just wanted to point out how lonely this adult life can be.

side note: its really great that i have a really good support system (my siblings and friends), so yeah.. i’m really grateful for that<3.

things i want the future nabilah to read (now that i have come to terms with these feelings):

phew that was a rollercoaster now wasnt it. now that you’ve typed all that and acknowledged what you feel, i have a few things to say to you.

i just want you to know that you are (as much as you dont want to hear this or dont believe in this), you are doing well (at least the future you reading this wont look back and be embarrassed of who you were). you may not have done well for o’s, may have slacked a bit during poly and uni and regret everything academic wise (and yes personality wise) but always remember that, these things do not define the authentic real you. not getting into a local university and not achieving greater things in life during your youth, these are trifle things that you shouldnt be ashamed of or even beat yourself up about. after all, they dont matter in the afterlife?? so like, stop it. its not like you can go back to the past and change it, you only have control of the present and thats WHAT you have to work on. as tough as it may be, as much as you refuse to get old, the harsh reality is that you have to and you will. you have a degree and you’re getting experience working in the field you have always been curious about and you’re on your way to get a another diploma under your belt. you’re really doing the most if i must say??. and you’re so lucky to be able to love what you studied and do what you like. off track and a side note, i wanted to tell you that i woke up today feeling a tremendous shift in me (and i really honestly think its because of the conversations i had with zim, bff and syiqs the past consecutive days). but i honestly woke up feeling excited at what i have to offer the world. you may not be the prettiest and the smartest but the amount of love you have (and willing to give) in your heart, the feelings of empathy you’re capable of and the change you want to make in lives.. these are things that define you and you can do just that. there are times where you will definitely feel afraid and wonder if you’re doing the right thing but as long as you keep reminding yourself of your morals and values, i think you’re pretty much on the right track. 

and i know, i know you hate yourself more than anything else in this world. the face you see in the mirror and the horrible things you feel inside you, your dumb thoughts and all that but i really pray that in the years to come, you’ll grow to be kinder to yourself (and definitely the people around you). be kinder to yourself and have courage to face your flaws and work towards being a better person everyday. be kind to everyone (especially your parents) and just have a little faith that you can go through many hurdles in your life. you cannot do everything but you can do some great things and that is enough. i dont have to remind you that everything here and now in this world is just temporary right? remember the podcast you heard yesterday? true happiness will be in the afterlife, inshaAllah. death will come for you, you just have to be patient and never forget to work towards the afterlife. also dont feel too lonely. ultimately, you know you dont have the mental capacity for things like marriage and having kids and all but dear nabilah, if you get lucky and love comes to you one day through Allah, i hope that you dont close your doors firmly shut to it and embrace it if you may (only run when the guy proposes cos u aint got no time for that). last but not least, please never let go of good memories. cling on to them and let them be attestations of your kindness and love. always be kind and always try to be better for the people around you. i hope you’re smiling as you read this, i hope you’re proud of who you have become and i hope that you continue to always remind yourself of amazing person you are, despite all that you went through. 

- 23 year old nabilah (technically 24 this year but hey SUCK IT TIME IS A SOCIAL CONSTRUCT)

[unproduciblesmackdown]

How do u feel about Eno from MonsterKind?

closes book & spins around in chair—oh! didnt see you there. well i’m glad you asked. sets down cup i was drinking from.

tldr i quietly cherish him. i figure it is not exactly his best look right now but i would be surprised if it was to turn out he is/was secretly evil & trying to work against everybody the whole time lmao…..honestly i figured that things were doomed in this way when kip said he trusts eno the most…….that can’t go unpunished. rip

but it is also an endorsement that he must’ve been top quality all this time if kip trusts him that much. i doubt its as Misguided as just being taken advantage of. no idea what the broader con here needs to further take advantage of re: kip….the fact that ppl listen to him whether he likes it or not? or that he can probably survive mad low temps? if he was assumed to die back in the day then the latter seems somewhat relevant one way or another. but i am too dumbassed to make good guesses w/little info

anyways i’m kind of assuming…that eno does sort of have suspicions or straightforward knowledge abt what happened behind the scenes, & its being confirmed just by kip saying there’s some link b/w wallace & the investigation of yore…like, i know i just said im dumb as hell & my guesses are bad, but i’d guess eno thinks that their inside info getting out elsewhere was via himself, not yumi, despite what he said. or even technically if it couldve been yumi i think he thinks it was his own fault. and its not surprising he wouldnt bring up his own suspicious abt his self involvement because like after everything went to shit & the entire project seemingly destroyed, there’s not much relevance to investigating how it happened if nobody plans to be involved. and it would be a little awkward then & now for him to tell kip he thinks he may have been involved in the downfall, even if inadvertently…hm

like……it would be nice if he had secretly developed some kind of assassin level knife throwing skills in the past years. wouldnt it always be. but honestly kip was fuckt the whole time…….nobody seems to be threatening anyone else with knives but i guess if some shadow organization that murders at whim & unhindered shows up & makes threatening demands, the implication is that anyone could be killed, even if some people get to stay alive for the moment just for the sake of pushing them to do something or other thats convenient for whatever latest death plot is underway

e.g. i’m not sure what the point is of purposefully trying to put kip on alert besides having him fall back on eno even more than he would without bringing up that specific threat

but really besides the “well i’m already resigned to someone stabbing kip in the gut while killing everyone he knows in front of him w/promises to kill everybody else too” factor of it all (im not really but—) another reason i cant be that mad is b/c i am also resigned to the fact that wallace is basically in the same kind of position eno was, of an accidental accessory to secret murder

b/c it would truly be a twist if wallace WAS actually in on it the whole time lol….but i doubt it. but the fact remains that he is definitely unwittingly a pawn of the devil!! this wouldnt be a problem if, marxism. anyways the thing is that i really, really doubt that wallace will smoothly learn of whats actually going on before anyone else knows or anyone gets fucked over and be able to gently reveal this to everyone in ways that nobody feels betrayed or breaks their trust with him. i am not even sure how that would be possible…..it is basically inevitable that wallace will have to be exposed as connected to this whole secret society of nightmares, and nobody really knows wallace well enough to be certain that he actually didnt know. and really, the fact that he Doesn’t know doesnt change the fact that he is in fact a part of it and facilitating it, even tho arguably it isnt quite his fault

tbh im assuming that the reason he’s having to do all of this is that he was willing to be transplanted from a to c, and because of that he is like totally clueless about like….everything. he presumably has no idea the kinda shit everyone around him is worrying about like all the time lol & wouldnt know not to try to push past those boundaries. but he can’t exactly be asked to do anything that much different from what he’s doing now / anything too clearly Heinous…besides maybe getting Extra Info or simply making ppl nervous, like making kip think he’s endangered.

coz t.b.h……………i’m not sure that, between kip seeing wallace as harmless and well-intended vs dangerous & ill-intended, the latter is worse? because he is a mix of the two….he doesnt mean any harm but he IS dangerous, technically. not directly thru his own actions quite as much, but still, obviously……kips first impression was basically correct lol rip. i dont think there WAS a way for kip to ever not suspect wallace as being less than purehearted, and of course i also dont think he won’t have to find out that wallace doesn’t want to hurt everybody, but at least he’s a bit on guard about all this fuckery…..even if putting him more on guard is part of some evil plot, which also means its bad…….obviously ideally everyone gets to only ever be best friends and also all be kip’s boyfriends, but i don’t think i my wishes have a tendency to come true, so maybe wait on anticipating that one. in the meantime maybe the inevitable revelation that wallace may have been a double agent will be lessened if kip was holding out for it all along lol. i guess it depends on how much more inadvertent damages wallace’s role is intended to invoke. weird sentence there but i stand by it

basically like dude!! try Knowing Shit instead of not knowing shit!! he may only be an accidental hand of the devil but that doesnt mean he’s totally not working for satan here, so hopefully when he finally realizes the extent of it, he gets to help to right the situation. presumably. idk. but how would anyone know for sure that he never knew what was going on besides trusting that he is not just an excellent actor? i suppose we are in the same situation with eno, huh. despite being given kip’s endorsement, there is only a limited picture of him & then the knowledge that he probably played a part in all the bs w/all these ppl dying. i suppose you can guess that he knew all of what was going on or he didnt or somewhere in between….

basically w/wallace and eno i am assuming that with both itmd a case of well-meaning humans being taken advantage of and accidentally infiltrating these vulnerable circles and sending back information and oh oops, atrocities, and everyone’s dead. i cant imagine that at least kip is meant to survive, and not sure why eno would feel particularly safe on that front either, and clearly any casualties that seem even vaguely necessary can just be carried out at random so you know. bless wallace’s well meaning heart that doesnt know shit but like still, if ppl get fucked over they still have the right to be mad, and if theyre dead theyre still dead, and etc, and also try to learn shit even if it was just a regular, non Agent Of Evil job.

basically what i am trying to say is that im pulling up on my motorbike and telling people that if they’re going to be mad at eno, they ought to be equally condemning of wallace, or that is just inconsistent. like, feel free to either way surely…….i can’t guess that it’d be smooth sailing for eno either if he has to awkwardly divulge that maybe he knows stuff about the whole assassination backstory.

i do wish he had those knife throwing skills for sure…..wish he wasnt being gunpointed into pressuring kip into something or other that surely will endanger him & surely others….but i get why he doesnt exactly seem to have other options at the moment lol. this guy could have assassins all over the block if whatever godforsaken conspiracy is already underway and waistdeep. smh. as i have to assume that he would only endanger kip if he was basically being given a catch 22 of Endanger Kip or Endanger Kip. i suppose he could be doing it solely so he himself won’t be assassinated, but i am personally piecing together that he and kip Are Really in fact That Close & he hasn’t like, faked caring about him this whole time or something

uhhhh tldr i think of him as basically in the same position as wallace, tho to be fair i dont think of wallace as blameless part for not knowing whats going on (like im guessing eno didnt understand until it was too late) and in part because even without the devil he IS just barging in from a in the middle of c & also pursuing audiences w extra vulnerable ppl w/o knowing fuckall (unlike eno who i am also guessing is not from a…)

and perhaps the sole answer to your question as really i was only inferring the part abt asking if eno is suspicious and dubious or not: I Am Fond Of Him Like I Said

what an essay! as all my asks turn out to be!! but i can’t help but theorize. even though i am a dumbass. this is in part because i watched mh for years, and in part because i never assume i’ll still be alive to see any particular plot point in any ongoing media i consume, so i furiously speculate and create au’s in my head and all. for example if i die before its definitely revealed kip doesnt get twenty husbands—which, good luck proving that to me anyways—can anyone tell me he doesnt? no, because i died. so he definitely does. and thats all i have to say on the matter, thank you for tuning in to Milo’s Hour Of Speculation, And Knowing Everyone Is Kip’s Boyfriend

[ferriskilldeer]

from this ask meme

why did they choose their class(es)? their subclass(es)? it was mostly an accident on his part. i wanted a fun weapon, on my part

before they met their party, what was their main goal? avoid being charged for murder, possibly get out of whatever deal with a devil he just made

what is their goal right now? protect ireena and kids, mostly

if they could learn one spell that isn’t available to them at present, which spell would it be? probably wish

do they follow a higher power? what are their thoughts on divinity? he’s not too sure what his patron is–couldnt really call them a higher power. doesnt believe too much in the goodness/activeness of divinity, but does read a lot

which party member do they relate to the most? marceline in that he too is exasperated and horrified by barovia. ismark in that he too has built most of his identity around a duty to someone else. ireena is the most like him in personality–she’s pretty mild and caring.

which party member do they understand the least? marceline

what are three songs that suit them? “viego, the ruined king,” “the belt of faith,” and “of the night”

do they care about their appearance? how much effort do they put into presentation? he cares deeply about his appearance–god forbid anyone think him sloppy or careless. though he puts a lot of effort into grooming, he can get distracted sometimes and go for hours without realizing his hair is wild and his suit is dirty. he’s toying with the idea of growing a beard.

how often do they lie? what situations cause them to be dishonest? he doesnt really lie as boldly as the others do to strangers, but has frequently lied to the party about how well he’s slept or the contents of his dreams. he himself is disturbed by and ashamed of having actual needs/problems, and would be beyond embarrassed to be a subject of serious concern. he must be seen as stalwart, cool, and in control.

what skills are they proficient in? why? cleaning, sewing, bookkeeping, and multitasking. skills he trained himself in from a young age to look after his family, and honed in his twenty years as a butler.

have they ever been in love? not really, not a lot of opportunity for it. may have had a crush on a book character or two, and hopes that he could fall in love if he ever had the chance.

what do they dislike about themself? why? he dislikes having ambitions or desires that are anything less than objective and reasonable. he thinks it’s a mindset that leads to overindulgence and burdening others.

what is something they love about themself? he is very proud of his ability to serve in hospitality and his cleaning ability. he knows he’s a little twitchy about cleaning, but is a firm believer in the importance of it

do they trust their party? why or why not? he trusts that their hearts are all more or less in the right place, and that they’ll back each other up. he doesn’t necessarily trust in their judgment or people skills. both of these estimations come from experience

what are their feelings on the people who raised them? he loves his family, but does not like them. he’s secretly very bitter and resentful of the fact that he spent his childhood looking after his willful, irresponsible brother and his absent-minded, geeky parents.

what do they dream about, when their dreams are their own? besides the ominous dreams lately, he dreams of work. endless anxiety dreams about work, and his boss, and his boss’s pigeons, and bugs. in terms of life dreams, he wants one day to be a happily married father of a small family. but that doesn’t seem to be in the cards.

do they see themself as a leader or a follower? follower

what haunts them? what doesn’t? he quit in a very explosive way: he stabbed his boss to death and set all of his boss’s pigeons loose, then walked away. he doesn’t really feel great about it

which of the five senses do they rely the most on? sight, but he’s very sensitive about smells, too

do they follow their head, their heart, or their body? head in most things, but he has a very soft heart.

what is a promise they’ve broken? i guess his job contract

how do they feel about nicknames, titles, or labels that have been given to them? how do they feel about their name? he’s fine with ferris killdeer, but his middle name, phosphorus, is a little embarrassing. he was very flattered to be called “well-dressed fella” by a vallaki guard. his family often called him “ferry” and “phossy”–“phossy” he hates, but “ferry” he would be ok with, if it were someone he liked who said it.

which of the four elements speaks to them the most? if he were asked, he’d say water, because it represents cleanliness to him. but narratively, fire comes up more.

what stories do they like to tell? what stories do they like to hear? he mentions that he used to be a butler, and will make an appeal to authority in re birdkeeping, “i used to look after pigeons for some time–sure they’re filthy birds, like,” but doesn’t get more extravagant than that. he is always happy to lend an ear to someone’s troubling backstory.

who do they miss? his family, at the end of the day. his life with them was frustrating, but at least it was simpler than this one.

how do they mourn? silently and stoically–expressive grief is just asking for attention to him

who would they kill? who would they kill for? he would only kill a fully sentient creature out of a deep sense of betrayal or fear, as in the case of his boss. he would kill to save any one of the party members, but only ireena could tell him to kill someone. he would hesitate if marceline or ismark told him to.

who would they save? who would they be saved by? he would save any of the party members–in order of priority, ireena, marceline, and ismark. he would be saved by any of them too, but marceline would probably help him first if it came to that.

what do they seek out from others? company and conversation

they’re given a blank piece of paper–what do they do with it? fold it carefully and save it

do they seek control, or do they want less of it? he does want control–not in a very power-hungry sense, but he wants to be on top of the situation. hates being on the back foot.

what makes them cry? as of now, there’s probably not a lot that could make him cry. maybe being furiously rebuked by the rest of the party for the things he’s ashamed of (having needs+murdering someone), or maybe soft tears at being told he’s valid

which party member do they go to in a crisis? marceline

which party member do they worry for? ireena

what’s a secret they’ve kept? for marceline, that she’s clearly not a great believer in her god. for himself, that he murdered his boss in his bed.

what is their favorite thing to hold? letter opener

what do they smell like? clean and a little sexy. crisp aldehydes–soft white florals–masculine sandalwood and vetiver

are their hands calloused, soft, or something else entirely? mostly soft, as he wears gloves. some calluses on his fingers from repeated motions done in deep cleaning

do they enjoy poetry? yes, in an aesthete kind of way. too shy to write poetry himself

what are they attracted to in other people? thoughtfulness, self-assurance, and cleverness. people who don’t seek out attention, but aren’t afraid of it either. though he has some grudging attraction to physical beauty regardless of personal values

what are three words they would use to describe themself? orderly, tactful, diligent

why do they fight? because ismark started another fight

what do they need to learn? that he is a person, not a servant

how do they hug people? he would be hugged first. jump at the embrace, then slowly reach around and pat them on the back. in a very emotional moment, he might just cling instead of pat, and put his face close to theirs, or their shoulder. eyes always open.

what do they deprive themself of? opportunities for happiness

when they meet someone, what is the first thing they notice? how they dress, what mood they seem to be in, and how intelligent they might be (which ferris judges based on vocabulary+forthcomingness)

what do they see in their future? hell

what makes them smile? acts of generosity or care, or seeing someone else happy

can they sing? can they dance? both! but a better dancer than singer

what is the most beautiful thing in the world, for them? the feeling of a job well done–for a brief moment, nothing to do but soak in the satisfaction. physically, a well-made home with lots of right angles, or ireena’s smile.

from whom do they seek validation? everyone else in the party–ismark the least.

which is more frightening to them: day or night? night. this is barovia

what was their education like? quite good, but with an overemphasis on entomology 

whose hand do they reach out for? marceline and ireena

what animal do they most relate to? probably a nervous bird that has to have its nest just so

what makes them angry? selfishness, loud noises, and ingratitude

what do they think their role in the party is? what is their role in actuality? he thinks his role is the reasonable, cool-headed one who swoops in when the party needs an honest person to communicate concisely. in actuality, he’s that but also the nervous one who can’t hit an eldritch blast and is desperate to please everyone

what is a quiet passion of theirs? his passion for cleaning and the cleanliness/intelligence of birds is well-known at this point. it seems he also has a passion for protecting children and getting everyone to like him. he’s interested in the humanities.

do they whisper or yell more often? whisper

what kind of flower would they choose to pick from a meadow? he’d sooner leave one than pick one–where would he put it? would he have to carry it all the way back to where he came from? how many bugs have been on this? but if he really had to pick, a small one with pale coloring. nothing flashy or strongly-scented

outside of otherworldly forces, what do they believe in? his life is probably already over

what fight has scared them the most? the siege of the burgomaster’s mansion was up there due to strahd’s theatrics, and the hag due to the horror of finding children’s bones, but probably the wolf fight his first night in barovia. it was his first meeting of strahd and marceline nearly died.

do they value mercy or justice more? whatever keeps the peace best at the moment. he wants to believe mercy, but tends toward justice.

what is holding them back? self-esteem issues

who makes them feel warm? ireena

what makes them laugh? i laugh more than ferris does at the campaign–i think once he might’ve had a quick whoop when marceline won big at a dice game.

what was the best moment of their life? none comes to his mind, which makes him feel a bit sad, but he thinks his life has been somewhat unspectacular. in recent moments, maybe it was dancing with the vistani–the rush of escaping barovia and being safe with his new companions, the smile on ireena’s face–or maybe it was getting into vallaki–despite the kind of creepy stepford smiles, it was a pleasant change of pace from everywhere else so far. but really, it was the moment he set all the pigeons free after he murdered his boss. it was a terrible moment. he felt amazed, triumphant, and liberated for just a split second.

how would they describe their party members? marceline: powerful, and ultimately good-hearted, but a little slimy. complains way too much. ismark: a complete idiot who seems to bully anyone who meets his weird personal standards, but an honorable person. ferris pities him a little. ireena: a wonderful person who doesn’t deserve what’s happening to her. 

[tumblunni]

hey uhhh YKNO WHATS GOOD brainstorming potential headcanons for a character you know NOTHING ABOUT

i guess its less headcanons and more like.. wishes? hopes? what i think would be cool to do with this dude and like ALL I KNOW is that he is a cool dude and apparantly he doesnt have a backstory or sympatheticness SO consider what if he did and maybe thatd be cooler. like dude he owns THE SINGLE BEST BOSS BATTLE THEME IN ALL VIDEOGAMES EVER and that is ALL I KNOW ABOUT HIM and i just want him to deserve it, yo. also if he turned good i could be his friend and some of the badassness would rub off on me

ANYWAY

COOL SQUID PRESIDENT

i would vote for this man as squesident

seriously the design is SO GOOD!!! how did they manage to get such a cool colourscheme out of his entire Thing being that he has no colours?? like damn i like white being used as an evil colour for once, thanks. it symbolizing emptyness and emotionlessness is like BIG YES and i really hope thats what they were going for cos apparantly the wiki says that all the yokai who join his “we should never be friends with humans” gang turn colourless to match? but like the dude himself is less plain white and more very light shades of blue, grey and gold. MAYBE REFLECTS THAT HE IS A MANIPULATIVE DOUCHE WHO MAYBE DOESNT REALLY CARE ABOUT YOKAI AND JUST WANTS TO RULE THE WORLD PERHAPS dammit why does everything about him scream “great 100% evil guy who is very scary” when man I WANT TO LIKE HIM, DAMMIT!!

ALSO SERIOUSLY the visual effect of the wild spirally red yellow eyes against an otherwise “peaceful” colour whose entire point as an evil is “peaceful” taken to a bad extreme. it REALLY immediately sells that “tries to pretend to be calm, collected and fancy but is actually an angry mofo at heart” vibe i got from his theme song??? I REALLY HOPE THATS ACTUALLY HOW THIS COOL BOSS BATTLE GOES DOWN cos man the best villains are smug asshles who Always Win and then when you FINALLY win you get that much of a better ending!!! but AGH another part of me is like “i hope im wrong because he looks like a Cool Dad and i want him to be good”. Maybe his true design concept was to betray me personality with using all his cool dad power for evil...?

ALSO im not gonna spoil you guys on it cos it is JUST AS AMAZING AS HIS SONG but i was toooootally right that he has some sort of super intimidating second form and its got THE COOLEST DESIGN EVER HOLY SHIT! and also apprantly there’s a recoloured bonus boss called Minister Squisker who’s like a colour swap in a really creative way?? it swaps him being all “blank” themed with scary bright eyes and instead his entire body is a wild ye olde mythological illustration style paint job in every colour ever. okay COOL HEADCANON NUMBER ONE thats actually the regular colour of the species and mckraken is the white sheep of the family lol

also UHHH i dunno it seems kinda weird to me that theyd have this dude running a goddamn political party about humans being bad yet he doesnt seem to have any motivation whatsoever for it? unless it really is just supposed to be ‘he only pretends he wants to protect yokai from humans so he can manipulate and rule the yokai’. but like HYPOTHETICALLY in some universe where he actually lives up to his Grumpy Dad Who Has A Hidden Soft Spot potential, maybe he has an understandable backstory that raises legitimate concerns about how humans are destroying the natural and mythological and forgetting their roots, or other reasonable reasons why yokai could think humans are dangerous and all. i mean we ARE dangerous, we’re just a wide group of people that contain evil bastards and also good people, yknow. And thatd resonate well as a plot probably, cos well the whole point of the series is “in real life ur scared of yokai but theyre actually all goofy pranksters who will be your best friend forever”. Both sides being afraid of each other could lead to some good plotness! and it could be really effective and sad if after hours of joyous childhood wonder the protagonist bumps into the first yokai they couldnt befriend. the first one thats scared of them. the first member of this weird colourless political party who accuses them of committing crimes against yokaikind, of obviously only enslaving these yokai friends cos you have an ulterior motive, just like all humans! it could be effective if its something that shakes up the whole way you saw the world and establishes that hey its not all fun and happiness, and there’s some people you are powerless to convince. maybe even some people you are powerless to save...?

ANYWAY possible idea for ‘what if the dude originally had a sympathetic motive but it got twisted over time and now he’s just a fuck BUT maybe he could still be redeeminated someday ok thanks” What if he’s the spirit of.. like.. ocean pollution? Like there’s some yokai who are ghosts of a mortal person but theres some that are just nature spirits or personifications of concepts. What if he’s the personification of the dying screams of all the wildlife killed in a particular tragic oil spill? hence squid = thematic, and blank white colourscheme = even more thematic reflecting the stain the oil would leave on a pristine ocean and also the blank emotionlessness he was left as after witnessing that tragedy. Cos like his entire Purpose would have been born out of avenging anger but i mean he was just a kid, the only one left alive on a ruined beach and seeing just how powerful humans were and how pointless it would be to try and fight them with his weak power. like he was born to avenge all these souls and he just keeps failing!! his entire reason to live and he’s just too small!! so he ends up becoming bitter and cynical and learning how to use his silver tongue to manipulate others into becoming his weapons, and he vows that someday he’s gonna come back when he has the power he needs to complete his mission. and he’s just forever had this anger seething inside that he’s been unable to get any catharsis from, so when his cold and collected persona cracks he’s really damn scary with all these years of a man who’s grown old fearing he’ll never be able to avenge his ocean friends and just AAAAAA! itd be really good cos itd be a way he could still be intimidating and high stakes as a boss fight but also sympathetic!! also it could make sense why he’d only be redeemable after defeating him? like this entire time he’s been hidden behind a million layers of politics and minions and stuff and its very easy for him to not see the reality of the fact that he’s terrorizing human children just like how humans scarred him as a child. so like his whole big second form transformation super anger mode time would be sort of a last ditch attempt to deny what he already knows, the doubts that have been eating away at his soul now he’s getting close to the end of his life goal. but also like.. he doesnt even know who he IS, under the lies! its been his entire purpose for existing. like he probably uhh.. didnt have much plans after his victory. he probably wouldnt have much will to live left. so yeah you basically beat up this guy’s emotional walls and make him face the face of the people he’s been hurting, when he’s been trying to avoid it for so long. and he gets to see how much all the other yokai genuinely trust you and how much youre personally sacrificing to protect them so maybe you really arent just lying about being a good person...

oh also i was thinking about the inherant hypocrisy present in the fact that this guy is a big spoopy REALLY WELL DESIGNED squid monster that spends all his time in a depowered humansona instead, despite his whole Thing being hating humans. and, yknow, ‘i’ll solve this using a carbon copy of human politics instead of any more traditionally magical way of fighting the humans’. Yeah. So THEORY of SADNESS maybe he like never actually met any other yokai for a long time? I dont think it really makes sense that he’d be hypocritical because he secretly likes humans or something, that wouldnt jive with this backstory idea. So im thinking another explanation could be that he genunely doesnt know much about yokai culture? Like cos of his backstory he just poofed into existance on this destroyed beach in the human world and spent the first few centuries of his life completely alone except for the terrifying monsters that haunted every second of his life, and the knowledge that it was his purpose to defeat them but he didnt know how. And he was a nature spirit of the sea but his sea was empty of everything except death, so he couldnt even hug a cute fish sidekick or something- OH GOD WHAT IF HE DID HAVE A CUTE FISH SIDEKICK AND IT DIED COS OF HUMANS!!! very tiny sad squid monster child holding a dead pet, oh god why did my heart did this to meeee!! so yeah he didnt even know he was a yokai or wtf yokai are, he didnt know anywhere outside the tiny rock pool he would hide in on this barren beach. And then someday he gets found by an older yokai and adopted and like he feels like he owes them so much cos they gave him a reason to live, and a connection to the nature that he was supposed to protect, and.. well.. any companionship at all ever. So thats how his directionless “humans are bad” turned into “yokai are good and i need to protect them from humans like i failed to protect the beach” which turned into “i need to get more power to do this” which turned into manipulating other yokai and seeing them as nothing more than tools to take down the humans, his revenge consuming him until he barely remembered the reasons he originally wanted to do it...

and blablabla thats where we bring in the recolour bonus boss also, and say thats the nice grandpa figure who adopted him when he was all lost and trapped in the human world. and cos he was sorta adopted into nobility thats why he’s so over the top with his pompousness, its like a hint of IM LOVV MY GRANDEPA shining through his grumpface. ALSO maybe a sad situation where the gramps saw his kid growing up into this scary extremist and he tried to reason with him that humans dont need to be destroyed and that led to them fighting and him getting sealed off in recolour bonus boss land. and mckraken sees it as the biggest betrayal of his life and it totally threw him off the slippery slope to feel like the one man he trusted the most was a traitor to yokai all along. but even at his most evil he couldnt bear to actually kill his beloved gramps so he just imprisoned him and tries to stop thinking about it but like THE CONSTANT SPECTRE OF THE GUILT HANGS OVER YOUR HEAD THAT YOU DID YOU GRAMPS WRONGGGG So yehmaybe protag could find the gramps guy and hear about the sad backstory via him and then defeat mckraken and make him realise he was wrong and he apologises to his gramps and atones and all the humans and yokai are friends again and BUNNI CRIES FOREVER the end

cos seriously man this guy’s design is too good to be wasted on a hateable!! srsly he’s like that archetypical goofy big beard chubby pirate dude BUT INTIMIDATING AND BADASS AND COOL FASHION AND DAVY JONES SQUID BEARD SQUEARD I LOVE HIM he is too round to be 100% evil

*slams fists on the table* IF YOU DONT LIVE UP TO MY EXPECTATIONS I AM GONNA CRY

aaa i need to stop just sitting here theorizing about this game and actually friggin play it lolllll