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thrashkink-coven · 3 months

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hello!! I have a question. Are your dreams about deities something you've practiced to have, or does it come naturally to you? if you could tell me about your experience with those dreams that'd be awesome, thank you!!

So I started my magical journey with Archangel Jophiel at about the age of 7 or so. As a young child I had unknowingly practiced many astral journeys and things of the sort before I entirely understood what I was doing. Archangel Jophiel taught me how harness that behaviour to use my brain as an analogue machine. When I say analogue machine, I’m referring to a thing that is greatly influenced by the stimuli that is fed to it. For whatever reason, my subconscious brain is very involved in the details of my waking life. Most of my dreams revolve around real life settings or scenarios I find myself in. The other day I was biking in a thunderstorm. That night I dreamt I was a thundercloud. Whenever I go to the beach, I dream of the beach. I do also have a random absurd dreams, but those are far less common than ones like these. In order to influence this pattern and invoke a deity, I only need to feed my brain stimuli from them in my waking life.

Jophiel taught me how to use my senses to influence my reality, to abandon my senses in states of trance, and to harness my senses to understand messages. He did this most memorably through the methods of scrying and sigil work along with a plethora of meditative practices that have been in use for centuries. Angelic magic is very concerned with spiritual and psychic development, so they always love teaching dream divination.

I cannot speak to whether or not I have a talent, what I do know is that I have been practising these methods pretty constantly for years at a time now, since I was 7 years old, so it is more likely that I am not talented, just that I have a muscle that I have been working out all this time. The only real talent I might have is my extreme tendency to lucid dream or be aware of my dreams as a kid.

Most of the time when I receive these dreams from my deities, I am doing a combination of things to invoke them. Whenever I get those dreams that seem random, or come about without intention or practice, those are the ones I pay the most attention to, because they are usually from unfamiliar deities reaching out for the first time.

But when I do intentionally try to invoke these dreams I am usually keeping all of these things in mind:

1. Saying the deities name out loud or in your head constantly. Imagining, writing about, speaking of and to them as concepts and people. When I write poems about my deities I am not only speaking to their physical attributes, I am conjuring a hyper specific identity and gorging on it’s spiritual correspondences to help my subconscious brain familiarize them and adequately summon them when I’m asleep. “Winged footed, clever whisperer, cultured hands that have shaken a million others, with the clanging of coins on his belt” , that’s Hermes. “Warm chocolate, water speckled rose pestles and pearl enchanted mirrors, gentle laughter in a heavenly oasis surrounded by a sacred grove”, that’s Aphrodite. When I hear the clanging of coins in my dreams I can bet that it’s Hermes, and when I see a field full of roses I can bet that it’s Aphrodite.

I’m willing to bet that a lot of folks actually are getting reached out to, but because they haven’t learned to identify their deity, they just think they’re having a reoccurring dream about a guy shooting arrows at the sun. Meanwhile it’s actually been Apollon this whole time.

2. Saying these names as I fall asleep, ensuring they are the last things I say before I drift off, as if it were a prayer. Saying these names in my head until I am no longer conscious. This also might be a cheat code but asking for a deity to appear in your dreams “by the will of Hypnos” or any other God of dreams works very well for me.

3. Using their sigils, creating sigils for them, staring at them and meditating on them until the symbol burns into your brain. Our brains love symbols. They’re amazing for communicating messages instantly. I see sigils and symbols in my dreams more often then I actually “see” a deity. Other times sigils have acted as portals for deities. Whenever I am in Inanna’s realm I feel as if I’m being shot through the Venus star.

4. Singing and humming their enns or chants. Our brains also adore music, especially those with predictable patterns. Make up your own personal tunes and memorize them better than the alphabet. When I’m in a dream and I hear the words “we go down as she goes down” I know I am in the realm of Inanna. If I hear “Renich Tasa Uberaca Biasa Icar Lucifer” I can immediately identify who I’m with.

5. Using colored lights to psychologically influence my environment for the intended energy I’m attracting. If I’m hoping to attract Aphrodite I sleep with a pink light on. Imagery of all kinds.

6. Burning incense right before bed and saying chants as I do. Your brain associates smells even more so than sounds or visuals. If I’m unconscious and constantly smelling the incense I reserved for Aphrodite, I am more likely to see her in my dreams.

7. Asking specific questions right before bed. This is a big one for me. Very often I will tuck myself in and think something like “hey Hermes, why do you run so fast?” and he will likely show up in my dreams to offer an answer. This can be a double edged sword if you’re too annoying with it lol, sometimes deities will ignore you if you ask them questions you already know the answers to.

8. If you’re already gifted at visualization then your half way there. I often visualize myself doing rituals for my deities in my “dream world”. I light their candles and incense just as I would at my altar. There are a few well documented methods (Raymond Buckland’s comes to mind) that practitioners use to access their mind temple. I personally visualize my mind temple or holy place as a scaled up version of my real altar because all the things there are extremely familiar. My little crystals become towering mountains of quartz and my offering bowl becomes a pool of flowers for me to swim in. When I lay with my eyes closed, not quite asleep or awake, I imagine myself at my altar summoning my deity in an elaborate and fantastical ritual.

9. Understanding the bigger picture.

I don’t remember a good 60% of the details from the dreams I have with deities unless it’s extremely important. Often times I only remember the way it made me feel along with the most important details. In the dream I described just today about Aphrodite wanting me to paint her, I don’t remember whether or not I actually had paint, what she was wearing, what the nymphs were doing, or exactly how she posed. But I do remember the way my heart skipped a beat when she asked me to paint her, and I vividly remember her saying “please do!”. When I share these stories I am massively paraphrasing.

Sometimes shit genuinely does not make sense (looking at you, Hermes) and you have to ask for more guidance to understand it. The very cool thing about Jophiel in those first few years I was learning from him is that he’s very willing to show you the same dream again and again until you understand. There was a period of a couple months where he showed me the exact same dream every single night.

10. Listen to your senses.

Lots of times the Gods do not appear human. I’ve seen Aphrodite more times as a garden than a person. Jophiel often appears to me as a ball of light or something enormous like a planet. Sometimes no words are said at all, but you feel a breeze on your neck that feels like a kiss, or you feel a foreboding presence and know who it belongs to. Sometimes you hear three bells in your dream only to remember that it’s the same sound as the bell in a store you know, and when you return there you find the perfect offering for that God you’ve been thinking about. Sometimes you smell a carcass and know that a Death God is trying to tell you something. So many messages can be shared without words. Lots of my dreams with most of my deities like Cerberus and Leviathan don’t even involve any words at all, even if an entire conversation is being had. Many times I don’t see them, but I know they’re there or that the message was from them. Sometimes I’m not even entirely sure what the entire conversation was, but the things that resonate with me stick with me. Leviathan never actually said “without the struggling combat of the natural forces no peace could ever be known to Earth”, he just showed me a roaring ocean and a blazing sun giving birth to land and air. Lucifer didn’t actually tell me that he wants me to read a specific book, I only saw the book and his sigil blazing above it.

11. Sometimes there is no real message. I often have dreams about Cerberus where he just reminds me that he’s a spooky death God. Sometimes I just see Lucifer because he wants to see me. Sometimes a God just misses you or wants to mess with you (looking at you, Hermes). I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had dreams about Hermes where the only thing he does is say hi and then run away, it drives me insane. I’ve had so so many dreams of Lucifer just wanting to share coffee and then asking me something seemingly random like if I prefer velvet or silk liners in jackets (??? still wondering about that one) .

A thing to keep in mind is that dreams are not the end all be all to deity communication and you are still capable of having a relationship even if your internal word isn’t as vivid. These things do take years of practice. You’re very deliberately trying to manipulate your brain into recognizing the signs of your deity. They seem to come to me easily but even I have periods of time where I don’t receive anything, and that’s also okay and good.

#deity work #deity witchcraft #witchcraft #magick #pagan #paganism #occultism #witch community #witchblr #witch aesthetic #demonology #grimoire

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bonesandthebees · 1 year

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i love the qsmp pta au. if you want to, can you tell me stuff about the kids?

this ask was sent so long ago before the brazilians even showed up so sorry for how late this is but I will come up with answers now!!

chayanne, bobby, dapper, and leo are all in the same year at school. meanwhile, tallulah, tilin, juanaflippa, ramon, trump are in the year below them. (juanaflippa was actually supposed to be in the same year as the older kids, but because of how sick she's been in the past she missed a lot of school and ended up having to repeat a year). and richarlyson is in the year below those guys so he's the youngest.

chayanne and bobby are insanely competitive with each other. chayanne is at the top of the class with grades, he always does the best in PE, and he he's super involved in a ton of extracurriculars like sports. bobby is much more of a little shit who will go out of his way to cause trouble, but he also gets perfect grades and always does really well in PE so he and chayanne have a bit of a rivalry going on. also this isn't to say chayanne isn't a little shit. he definitely is. but where bobby would put a pie on someone's chair so they would sit on it as a prank, chayanne would just throw the pie directly in their face. he's more direct basically

dapper also does really well in school and gets along well with the other kids, but he's the kind of kid that almost prefers talking to adults. that's probably because of how close he and bad are, with bad being a single parent who usually just handles things himself, so dapper always comes with if he's going to a dinner party or something even if other kids won't be there. also, he loves knowing all the adult gossip (kid friendly version) from his dad.

although leo doesn't get perfect grades like chayanne and bobby, she can give those two a run for their money in PE. she's not afraid to get down and dirty. also tbh I haven't watched a ton of streams with leo in them, but she has the energy of a kid that would make 'potions' out of dirt and worms. feel free to correct me if i'm wrong but that's just a vibe.

as i said in a previous ask, tallulah transferred in mid year and became friends with tilin, who then introduced her to juanaflippa at lunch since she's in a different class than the other two girls. tallulah is a very sweet girl who tried to be nice to everyone she meets. she sometimes gets in trouble for trying to play her flute in class though because it distracts the other kids :( also like dapper tallulah is really good at talking to adults bc of how much she and wilbur moved around when she was younger, but she doesn't necessarily prefer talking to adults like dapper sometimes does.

juanaflippa gets sick a lot. like, a lot a lot. she's got a ton of allergies and has had to miss a lot of school in the past, and it definitely doesn't help that charlie and mariana are a young couple who were definitely not ready for a kid let alone a kid that regularly has to go to the hospital. but they're working things out! also juanaflippa is a kid who very much doesn't realize how abnormal her home life is. she learned how to shoot a bb gun when she was 5 bc charlie thought it'd look sick, and now she's a crack shot. she knows the passcodes to both charlie and mariana's phones bc they both privately asked her if she could figure out the code by watching it get put in so they could look through each other's phones—and no, she hasn't said anything about them both doing this to either of them. she's convinced satan once visited her bedroom at night and they just chatted. while mariana reasons that it was a nightmare charlie also had the same nightmare so he's not so sure.

richarlyson does not realize it's not common to have 5 dads until he starts talking to the other kids at his school. he got really confused when juanaflippa was talking about how mad her dads got at each other bc they were accusing the other of cheating bc he didn't know about monogamy. he's a rambunctious kid who definitely takes some risks he shouldn't (which is probably bc of how chaotic some of his dads are) which is how he ends up breaking his leg within his first week at the school. also he's slowly gaining a love for puzzles bc he likes to stay up late and watch his dad cellbit decode stuff at his computer. oh, and forever has convinced richarlyson he's a werewolf. there's literally no reason for this forever just thought it would be funny but the bit has gone on for too long now and he's not sure how to explain to his kid that it's not true. he's just hoping that richarlyson eventually realizes werewolves aren't real on his own.

#ask #qsmp pta au #anon

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sheena-isa-punkrocker · 2 years

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GamerBoyfriend!Niragi HCs

because i feel like his game engineer background is so skipped over in this fandom 😭 these take place in pre-borderland btw minors i will kill you 🔫

he wears those blue light protector glasses (prescription of course, bby is far sighted) when he's working

he likes to show you his work! it may not seem like it, but he values your comments heavily. it gives him insight on what someone outside the industry thinks

LOVES to play video games with you! he finds it interesting to see what kind of games you like

can tell alot about your personality by the games and characters you choose. it makes him feel closer to you <3

obvs he loves fps (we're not surprised here 🙄)

if you don't know how to play fps's then he'll teach you but like... he's not the best teacher 😅

he expects you to get the hang of it easily and gets impatient when you don't

HOWEVER if you do a move flawlessly he'll compliment you

"Nice move there player 2..."

he's so smug, so proud of you

if you DO know how to play fps's ohohoho 👀👀👀

he thinks it's so hot when you annihilate the other team

definitely shouts insults at the other team through his headset on how much better you are then them

will also kill any player that shouts insults at you through the headset

"EAT SHIT, BASTARD!" *shoots enemy player*

as much as he loves being an undefeatable team with you, he also has a competitive streak

is a cheater lol it's niragi 🙄 he'll tickle you or tap your shoulder to distract you, laughs when you lose and denies cheating

pouts when you actually win, it's cute

you always kick his ass at mario kart

mans has never completed rainbow road don't tell arisu

now for some soft niragi??? 👀👀

one of his favorite things to do is sit you in his lap and just watch you play a game like breath of the wild or animal crossing or pokemon

it gives him a chance to turn off his brain for a while and just calm down <3

is surprisingly quiet during these times, just focused on you playing the game

refuses to play the game with you because it's "not the same when he does it"

sometimes when he finds a bug or glitch while playing a game he HAS to make a comment on it

"Who the fuck coded this game?! They're getting a complaint on Steam..."

it's cute to see him go on rants about the gaming industry. his coding and industry knowledge just flows out and it's nice to see him so passionate about his work

since he's in the industry, he has all the hook ups for early releases and discounts for any game you like again don't tell arisu

now for the nsfw 😈😈😈

niragi has a gift for making any situation sexual so it's no surprise we're here

sexual bets during competive games

if a person loses a round they have to take off one item of clothing 😏

seeing if you can win a round while he goes down on you 👀 if you lose you just have to try again~

(he claims it counts towards your training pfft)

amazingly he always wins when you give him oral when he plays. you stare at him in disbelief after he blows his load in your mouth and he's just like

"Oh, didn't believe me? We can always try again sweetheart..."

remember when i said he thinks it's hot when you kill enemy players?

yeah there's been numerous times where you've just mowed down like 20 of them and he has to pause the game to tackle you on the couch and just have you right there <3

the ps4 home screen music might as well be the soundtrack to your sex life

the first time you played mario kart was a bet and it turned into him losing and being butt ass naked on the couch. he made you promise to not tell a single soul

#he's ✨️over dramatic✨️#aib #alice in borderland #niragi suguru #suguru niragi #aib x reader #alice in borderland x reader #niragi suguru x reader #niragi suguru x you

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purplerose244 · 1 year

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Watched the seventh episode of LEGO DreamZzz: Loved it!

Do I sound redundant? Absolutely. Do I care since I keep enjoying this show so much and I want the world to know? ABSOLUTELY NOT LET'S GET GOING 🤩

Also yeah I made, like, two plotlines in my head about headcanon Mateo anomaly since last time... FANFICTIONS BABY 😎😎😎

CHEAT CODE

... why do I feel like Logan is gonna do something stupid? 😅

I love Mateo's character, is very real to me. In the Dream World he is getting more confident, he's the one that comes up with the plans, while in the Waking World he's still battling his insecurities 💕💕

LOOK AT THIS CUTIE I WOULD JOIN YOUR TEAM IF I WASN'T NOWHERE NEAR MIDDLE SCHOOL 😂😂

Sorry mom moment over also where's his and Izzie's mom

Figures Logan was gonna intervene...

Nuuuuu I thought we put the derogatory Mattie behind, come on Logan stop doing one step forward and two backwards! I WANNA CHEER FOR YOU DANG IT 😡

As of now I'm pretty sure Zoey doesn't dig any of you, and I say it with my heart 😂

Aww they got their bunks on the tree now! I was wondering what those things were, that a cool landing

Not a complain but if feels like the plot is moving forward a bit slowly. This is either the established pace and the finale will pick it up, or there's hope for season 2 and everything now is basically to explain

NEVER MIND THAT IT'S GAME TIME 🤩🤩

This gives me massive Ninjago Rebooted and Prime Empire vibes, hopefully no one will die here 😵‍💫

Rivalry happening of course 🤣

I wonder what Zoey's up to...

The terms are kinda interesting to me. Logan wants dibs on asking Zoey to join his team, most likely because Mateo wanted to ask her. Mateo didn't do the same and instead went directly for Logan, likely still very salty from when he left their team

I like that we're slowly exploring more of them, they seem to really want to be obstacles to each other, but also aren't able to ignore each other

I'm usually annoyed by these shenanigans but they're really young here, so honey I find this clumsy and kinda cute 😂

What are we playing then?

YOU DID NOT MAKE A COOKING MAMA REFERENCE I'M DYING 😂😂😂

And do not diss the game, I love it!

OMG Z-BLOB JUST WINKED LOOK AT THAT LITTLE BUDDY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AAAAAAAAAA- 💚💚💚

Another interesting part to me is this one, like, in the real world you know that Logan would totally own Mateo. But this is the Dream World and Teo is really good at dream crafting, something Logan isn't. I wonder if Logan is self conscious over not being able to craft like the others

MAT AND Z PLAYING TOGETHER IS GIVING ME LIIIIIIFE 💚💚💚

Who is this obviously shady guy?

Ooohhh, I see where this is going, but good on Logan for initially refusing. Yeah I'm pretty sure he hates how he can't craft well, big insecurities play here

This is annoying to see though, imagine you're playing and the blue guy JUST WON'T DIE DANG IT 😡

Aaaaaand everything is falling apart

Cooper is always breaking up their fights, but I wonder if he wants to preserve peace or he just can't handle them fighting. We never saw his opinion of this rivalry, he's just here to be friends for the both of them

Not sure if we're ever going to talk about it

Heeeeyy, Logan saved Mateo! For once... saying whatever... sweetie stop being this inconsistent, please, I know you can be a softie when you want 😅

WAIT WAS ZOEY BAKING?! WAS THAT BAKING PAPA?!?! OMG ZOEY MY APPRECIATION FOR YOU IS RISING!! 🤩

I... did not expect the robot to just start shooting everyone 😂😂

Guardians of the realms, interesting...

Nuuuuuu more PTSD for poor Izzie, don't take another one of her plushy friends away from her please 😭 I'm so happy Teo is such an understanding brother in this

Logan saying "Idk that thing looks sick" and Cooper being like "Dude she's right there please read the room!" 😂😂 That's one of my favourite parts of this episode

SHE WAS! ZOEY WAS PLAYING THE GAME! I FLIPPING LOVE HER! 😍😍😍

LEGO got very strong female characters, got Nya, got Macy, but it's nice to see the lone wolf with a soft side too 💕

Hi prof, we made a whoopsie here 😅

Okay seriously, everyone is so wonderful to Izzie and her situation! No mockery, no forcing, they're like "you stay here, we go this!"! Look at Zoey too! Despite her distance I think she already thinks of Izzie as her friend 💕💕

AND LOOK AT IZZIE OVERCOMING HER FEARS AND JOINING IN AAAAAAAAAA I LOVE THESE KIDS SO MUCH!!! 🥰🥰🥰

Logan still needs work though

It pains my heart seeing Mateo sometimes, like, look at him being in charge without a second though! If he was confident like this all the time, he could achieve so much more. I'm a sucker for low self-esteem character finding their spark, I'm enjoying his rise a lot! 💚💚💚

Love me a good LEGO fist bump 😎😎

GOOD JOB EVERYONE EVEN YOU LOGAN EVEN THOUGH I STILL HAVE SOME PROBLEMS WITH YOU 😅

Ah, Mateo and Logan moment, alright these kids are going somewhere!

Mateo said that Logan is a good teammate, and I agree. His problem is that he struggles with others taking charge instead of him, but I don't think he's made for leadership. Mat is great at leading, the moment Logan realizes that, the team will get better

OH-OH THE NIGHTMARE KING KNOWS LOGAN GOT ISSUES ABORT ABORT WHAT IS GONNA HAPPEN NOW??? 😱

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therecordconnection · 10 months

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46, 69, 88, 91!

#46: "El Dorado" by Magdalena Bay

One of the first Mag Bay songs I ever fell in love with. This one reminds me of old synth tracks from the late 80s. The best comparison I can draw is that it sounds like a modern version of "Island Sunrise" by Software to me. Singer Mica Tenenbaum switching between Spanish and English on a dime always makes me think of how Sarah Bonito does that with Japanese and English in Kero Kero Bonito songs. It's one of those things where you forget she's bilingual until she decides to start spitting in Spanish.

#69 (heh heh): "A BOY IS A GUN*" by Tyler, the Creator

I still don't think Tyler gets enough credit as a music video director. He makes absolutely gorgeous stuff and the video for this song is no exception. While IGOR isn't really my favorite Tyler album, I think there are a good handful of tracks that really stand out, this one especially. You can hear a lot of Kanye influence in song, especially with the sample he used for this ("Bound" by the Ponderosa Twins Plus One). I love the vulnerability in the central line, "Don't, don't shoot me down." I think the song allows you to feel something that a lot of people don't want to talk about much: When you're invested in someone more than they're invested in you and inside you're begging them to not shoot you down. A boy is a gun at point blank range when he tells you he doesn't want you and it hurts in ways that I don't think many want to talk about these days. It sucks to get rejected and you get upset, no matter how mature you handle it.

#88: "Give It to Me Baby" by Rick James

The best comment I ever read about Rick James was that he's what you get when you play Grand Theft Auto with all the cheat codes on. He's a larger than life figure and his music was the same way. He was an early 80s funk icon and pioneer that was monumental in shaping how the decade would play out. He was one of those guys where his wild lifestyle caught up to him real fast and as a result it hurt him and wiped away a good deal of his legacy. That, and I think Dave Chappelle unintentionally did a lot of damage to him by turning him into a caricature so hard that there's a whole generation of people who think "Rick James" is a guy Dave made up. He did just as much for 80s funk that Prince did and Rick deserves more love than he got.

Also, Quincey Jones shamelessly and very obviously ripped off the bassline from this song for Michael Jackson's "Thriller." I think of it every time I listen to this.

#91: "Is There Someone Else? - Live" by The Weeknd

I listened to a lot of the Weeknd this year. I've been a casual fan and I've followed the guy since he really blew up with Beauty Behind the Madness back in 2015. I thought it was really cool that he released a live album for the After Hours Til Dawn tour AND a concert film for it too. I think 2023 really saw a return of the concert film (this, Talking Heads' Stop Making Sense had a theatrical re-run, The Eras Tour film, etc.) and that makes me really happy. This was one of my favorite songs from Dawn FM to hear played live.

I've always really loved the dark synth-pop world of the Weeknd's music (when it ISN'T a part of The Idol...) and the thing that I liked about the So-Fi Stadium album was how his setlist is full of transitions and connections that keep the songs going. It reminds me of how Daft Punk would mix and present their music in a live environment. It's a really good show and I recommend the film and the album if you're looking for some cool mainstream pop to enjoy.

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Thank you so much for submitting numbers!!!

If you'd like to submit a number, please do. :)

#ask #delanore-roosevelt

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charlesleclerrc · 2 years

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I have so much opinions on the show. SPOILERS

1. I personally do not like Daisy. I didn’t like her in the book or the show, in the beginning I sympathized with her and did but as it continued I started to dislike her even more and more. See even though Billy is the one married to Camila, it’s something about Daisy betraying Camila that is worse to me. Billy ain’t ish, of course and I don’t like him either, but he’s already apart of their family u know? DAISY just got there, and CAMILA is the one who had daisy’s back. She sincerely welcomes Daisy and encourages her to come back to the party because she wants her there. She pushes Billy to let Daisy to join the band. Daisy herself says “he’s lucky to have you” and after all that…she still throws herself at Billy. And THEN gets mad that Billy brought Camila to the cover shoot as if that’s not his wife? AND THEN has the gall to walk up to Camila & Julia, smiling in their face, as if she wasn’t kissing and making eyes w her husband the day before. I mean, thats got to be one of the most appalling things I’ve watched in a while. Like daisy has no girl code whatsoever, and I can’t seem to understand how u can like her after doing that to Camila? Like Camila is literally mother, she looks after everyone and has everyone best interest at heart yet is getting betrayed over and over and over again.

2. I hate the fact that no one says anything to Camila about what Billy does behind her back. As if she doesn’t look out for everyone. As if they didn’t know her since Pittsburg. As if she wasn’t Karen & Graham #1 rooter. As if she wasn’t helping the band of the ground. Like wtf ? So much for being a family that looks out for each other.

3. Billy & Daisy have no romance whatsoever. They didn’t have it in the book and they don’t have it in the show. All they have is chemistry and passion, and I’ll forever stand on that. Also, when Daisy betrays Billy’s trust and tells the reporter about his past, something in told her in confidence, that was disgusting. Like that’s not love, you don’t do that to someone you love and she had no right. What’s crazy is that Camila is the one who suffered at the hands of Billy’s past, AND she never said that. So Daisy really had no right. And all because of what? Cause the reporter told her that Billy said it was an act? That she didn’t want to believe whatever was goin on between her and Billy was all in her head? Get over yourself, you have no claims to him as he has a whole family that she could’ve hurt.

4. I support Camila cheating w Eddie. Billy cheated on Camila multiple times and then again w Daisy. He neglects their marriage and lies to her and write stuff like the song “please”. Camila has to READ that herself that’s so heartbreaking. In the middle of the night, he’s up talking to Daisy. Billy literally isn’t appreciating what he has and acting as if he’s the only one who has needs. Like u don’t think Cami has needs too? Eddie in that moment and probably more, made Camila feel confident and loved again. Billy has been treating her like some old used cardigan and Eddie came and put her on like she was new again and I honestly loved that because she doesn’t deserve feeling like that.

5. I like both Graham and Karen and understand both characters. However, in the books and show Camila & Daisy both have that convo of Graham being more into her than Karen is in him. Karen know that and continues her relationship with her. I feel like Karen should’ve been more clear or cut that relationship off right then and there. Graham should’ve understood and considered Karen’s feelings about the pregnancy and not shame her and act as if he’s not the only one in pain.

I have way more to say but ima leave it at that.

You're so right in everything you said my dear anon. As I said in the other ask I got, you can always dm and I'll happily discuss everything about this show. I didn't mind daisy much in the book, sometimes i liked her, other times i didn't. in the show she's just boring. some of her actions annoyed me, but they also did in the book so that was on character.

idk what the writers were thinking when they made camila bring daisy to her house and make her feel part of the family. the whole 'she brought into her home the woman that was gonna steal everything from her' thing? HORRIBLE!! the moments in the book when camila welcomed daisy and was kind to her were beautiful, here, they only make daisy look like backstabber. and her whining about billy and camila was ridiculous in book and it's pathetic in the show.

no one in this show deserves camila's love. they're all bad friends. i hated the whole 'yeah maybe they were cheating, but they made good songs so it was ok'. FUCK THAT!! i understood when they didn't told her the first time. but this time someone should've at least called billy out, because it's not like they barely know camila and she's just billy significant other, they're her family. they are at her house ALL THE TIME!

my interpretation of book!d*aisybilly was that yeah, he liked her, but he was more enchanted with her and everything that she represented, because when billy reached his peak as an famous singer he was already sober so he could never live things like the others did. and also they understood each other in very deep ways because they were a lot alike. in the show it feels more like lust and necessity of adventure, idk, their scenes in the don't do anything for me.

but yeah, daisy exposing not only him, but camila and their daugther like that, in both book and the show, was a shitty move.

i have the same feelings about karen and graham, they always wanted different things, but closed their eyes to that, until things exploded on their faces.

edit because i forgot eddiecamila hdjhdjsh I LOVE THEM!! they're the best thing about this adaptation even if they only have 4 scenes together. it broke my heart how camila was holding back tears when eddie said he would always choose her. that woman was feeling unloved for so long :( the only thing i'm mad about is that we didn't got a kiss. #releasetheeddiecamilacut

#djats spoilers #i don't even want to know how many typos i made here #bruna.txt

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universe-on-her-shoulders · 2 years

Text

I posted 7,523 times in 2022

That's 947 more posts than 2021!

297 posts created (4%)

7,226 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@azraeldoesnotdispute

@minimoefoe

@toshisato

@expelliarmus

@langernameohnebedeutung

I tagged 7,523 of my posts in 2022

#our flag means death - 602 posts

#thirteenth doctor - 547 posts

#stranger things - 478 posts

#tenth doctor - 465 posts

#torchwood - 448 posts

#clara oswald - 359 posts

#twelfth doctor - 352 posts

#art - 331 posts

#yasmin khan - 322 posts

#eleventh doctor - 303 posts

Longest Tag: 133 characters

#so it's ok for you to be totally ignorant of mine but when i ask a question about a very very specific part of yours i'm an idiot? ok

My Top Posts in 2022:

Oh my god oh my god Ianto and Owen playing Mortal Kombat and Owen getting steamed that Ianto is beating him

“How are you doing this?” Owen demanded to know, throwing down his controller and scowling at Ianto with overt suspicion as the screen displayed the final score. “There’s no way you’re this good at Mortal Kombat. It’s not normal.”

“Admit it, Owen,” Ianto told him smugly, setting his own controller down and taking a swig of his beer. “You’ve finally found something that you’re not excellent at, and it stings, doesn’t it?”

“You’ve got to be cheating. There is no way that move is even… how did you… I don’t understand. I’ve been playing this…”

“Since dinosaurs roamed the earth. I know.”

“Fuck off. You’ve got to be cheating. Did you get Jack to modify the console with some futuristic bullshit?”

“Nope.”

“Did you get him to give you cheat codes?”

“Nope.”

“Did you get Tosh to hack the system so you always win?”

“Nope. But I did spend a large amount of my youth in arcades.”

Owen looked over at him with considerable surprise; Ianto didn’t feel the need to elaborate further. It was, after all, none of Owen’s business that he had spent sizeable chunks of his childhood trying to avoid going home, and thus the arcade, the cinema and the local shopping centre had all been regular haunts.

“How much did you play this?” Owen asked with interest. “Just so I know what I’m up against.”

“About four hours a day, every Saturday and Sunday, for about six years.”

“I’m fucked, aren’t I?”

“Utterly.”

46 notes - Posted March 7, 2022

Jack finally inveigles Martha and Ianto into a Jones-sandwich (interpret how you will).

"Well," Jack beamed, looking from Ianto to Martha and back again. "This is cosy."

"No," Ianto shot back, his gaze still fixed on the menu, although Jack knew he would've already viewed it online prior to tonight, and that he'd already have chosen what he wanted to order - drinks, starters, mains, and dessert. "This is a mid-range Italian restaurant in Cardiff city centre on a Friday night. It's about the furthest from cosy that you could get."

"It's a figure of speech," Jack protested, shooting an apologetic glance at Martha, who was sipping her glass of red wine with an expression that was somewhere between serene and suspicious; she arched an eyebrow in response. "It's cosy having the three of us back together. I feel like I'm in a Jones Sandwich."

"Is that the only reason you arranged this meeting?" Ianto asked with incredulity. "Because if so, I want you to pay for my dinner as an apology for the terrible joke. And you can bet your arse that I will be ordering the lobster pasta, and four starters."

"I was going to pay anyway," Jack lied with magnanimity. Surely he could charge it as a work expense? "So go nuts. Although you don't even like lobster."

"I do when you're paying."

"Boys, not that this flirting isn't great fun to watch, but I'm presuming you invited me here for a reason other than to either third-wheel, referee any rows about the bill, or to make jokes about Jones Squared," Martha interjected, putting her wine glass down and propping her elbows on the table in a businesslike manner. "So, cut to the chase, Jack. What do you need? Or what do you want, whichever. How do you want to play this?"

"What makes you think I want something?" Jack said with an air of woundedness that he hoped very much sounded sincere.

"Because since the funerals, I haven't heard a damn thing from you, and suddenly you're in my inbox with a dinner invite. So, what do you want? Guns? Intel? State secrets?"

"I just wanted to say hi!" Jack protested, to which Martha and Ianto both raised their eyebrows. "And yeah, alright, maybe some intel..."

Martha sighed, but to his surprise she didn't stalk out of the restaurant, which he considered a definite victory. "Alright, fine. But can we pretend to be normal over antipasti first? Warm me up a bit?"

Jack grinned. "With pleasure."

46 notes - Posted November 12, 2022

It's movie night at the hub, something cute and fluffy with all of our happy pairings, post exit wounds but everyone's alive - they're just trying to recoup after Gray and all the damage to the city

“Right,” Ianto said pragmatically, closing the Blu-ray player’s drawer and retreating to the beanbags that Jack had dragged out of storage and arranged artfully around the conference room. Jack himself was sat on an adjacent beanbag, and Ianto realised for the first time quite how difficult it was to snuggle while sliding about on something with the approximate texture of water. Wrinkling his nose, he shifted his a bit closer to Jack and took his hand, reassured as Jack gave it a squeeze. “Everyone ready?”

“What are we watching?” Owen asked, cracking open a beer; Ianto was amazed that he and Tosh had managed to cuddle up together on their own beanbag, but he supposed Tosh was slightly smaller than Jack, and Owen slightly less preoccupied with being uncomfortable. As he watched, Ianto handed the can to Tosh, who accepted it with a quiet murmur of thanks and took a sip with a somewhat guilty expression.

“Casino Royale. Latest Bond.”

“You and your bloody James Bond,” Owen shot back, but there was warmth in his tone, and he grinned as he spoke. “Are we just watching this because you fancy Daniel Craig?”

“No,” Ianto said, at the exact same instant that Jack answered: “Yes.” The two of them eyed each other with their eyebrows raised.

“Everyone fancies Daniel Craig,” Ianto argued, as Jack smirked. “Don’t they?”

“I don’t,” Owen pointed out magnanimously.

“You haven’t seen the film,” Tosh reminded him, then admitted: “I do.”

“I don’t,” Rhys piped up from where he was ensconced on his own beanbag with Gwen’s feet slung across his lap from her perch beside him. “But I’ll watch it for the Bond Girl.”

“Perv,” she chided, kicking him playfully in the thigh and narrowly missing his crotch. “I do. And I’ll watch it for the Bond Girl as well.”

“Now who’s the perv?”

“I think Gwen makes a great point,” Jack reasoned with a grin. “Beautiful people and guns… sort of our MO, isn’t it?”

“Rubbish guns,” Owen noted, raising his eyebrows and jerking his head towards the armoury. “Compared to ours.”

“Oh, boys, don’t start the whole ‘mine is bigger than yours’ talk,” Gwen implored them, as the Blu-ray menu finally loaded. “Let’s just perv over the beautiful people, please and thank you.”

50 notes - Posted March 9, 2022

Jodie for the BAFTA edition of the Radio Times!

108 notes - Posted May 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Jodie supporting World Down Syndrome Day 2022!

195 notes - Posted March 21, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review

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asvterias · 9 months

Text

𝖬𝗒 𝖨𝖽𝗂𝗈𝗍 ~ 𝖢𝗅𝖺𝗋𝗂𝗌𝗌𝖾 𝖫𝖺 𝖱𝗎𝖾

clarisse masterlist

warnings: not that intense anyway!

pairings: clarisse la rue ✘ fem!demigod!reader (fem!reader is black coded)

genres: enemies to lovers, intense jealousy, clueless!reader x flirty!clarisse, use of nicknames, some angst, cheating, foul language, little mentions of blood, mentions of possessiveness, secret pining, making-out scene, hickeys, heartwarming fluff & a suggestive scene (but nothing happens other than hickeys)

summary: driven by competitiveness and self-confidence, y/n and clarisse were bound to be enemies. but after a fight between the two girls ensues so does confessions and it looks like they were bound to be lovers instead.

word count: 4.6k+

tag list: @kazerka @skittlesgirl @xanasaurusrex @liv444me @lvrue

author’s note: and also this is a long story, so enjoy! as said before, now i have watched the show and i absolutely LOVED IT, especially clarisse & dior! so clarisse might still be a lot out of her character!

This was the request from @tinkerbelle05

It was a rather normal day at Camp Half-Blood. For the most part, everyone got along, practiced their daily training, and chatted amongst their peers and then there were Y/N and Clarisse. One was the daughter of Ares and the other, she was the daughter of Aphrodite. Ever since young, the two girls had a rivalry, drawn from their competitive nature as they always felt the need to one-up the other.

Insults were common between the two but they never resorted to any physical violence. You refused to fight anyone and were persistent in keeping your reputation spotless. Although Clarisse was a girl who was always up for a good fight, she respected your wishes.

However, Clarisse’s attitude changed when she discovered you were in a relationship. Now it was quite a surprise when that unexpected information caught her ears. Apparently, a friend of hers, Luke stumbled onto you and Connor making out hidden in the depths of the woods after lunch.

“There’s no way that Y/N was making out with that stupid son of Hermes!” Her tone was filled with disgust, anger, and slight jealousy. She shakes her head, heaving from her loud outburst which gained a couple of stares. Clarisse glared down at the stares, content when they disappeared as she turned to her friends.

“I’m just telling you what I saw, Clar!” Luke held his hands up in fake surrender, “Don’t shoot the messenger!”

“I could swear that she liked girls.” The brown skin girl mutters to herself.

“What’d you say?” Shae asks, catching part of Clarisse’s statement.

The said girl ignores her blonde friend as she continues her train of thought. What do you even see in him? She was much better, everyone knows it but you…wait? What?? She’s your enemy and you hate her to the core!

“Wait…” Luke catches on, noticing his friend’s clenched hands before looking up at her, “Are you jealous? Like actually jealous of Connor?”

His question turned heads, and this time it was her friends’. Clarisse huffed and crossed her arms in annoyance.

“Why would I be jealous of Connor? He’s not even a good fighter!”

“Because of Y/N.”

Clarisse glares at Maeve and then sneers at the brunette.

“I don’t like Y/N! Nor will I ever begin to like her, we can’t even stand to be in the same room as each other! How can I possibly like her?”

“Love happens in mysterious ways.” Shae states, “You never know if you two might even fall victim to it.”

“I would rather die than date Y/N.” She shudders, revolting at the thought of dating you but the new fluttering sensation in her stomach would highly disagree. But her friends didn’t know that, and nonetheless would she ever accept her true feelings about you, even if she didn’t recognize them as yet.

“What are you going to do?” Luke questioned her.

“Obviously, I’m going to find out if it’s true.” Clarisse rolls her eyes.

At first, she went to you to confirm the rumors of it. Clarisse wasn’t one to believe rumors, but rather from the main source which was you. She searched for you and finally found you amidst the camp. The area was secluded and quiet with no other campers disturbing or lurking about. You were sitting on the bench, jamming to the music from your headphones while you were reading a book chosen from the library.

You were so lost in your world that you didn’t realize Clarisse’s presence until she yanked your headphones from your ears.

“What the hell, Clair?”

“Heard that you and Hermes’ stupidest offspring were making out the other day, is it true?” Her question was bold and nothing wavering beyond.

“That’s none of your business.” You remarked back to the girl as you snatched your headphones back. Why was she suddenly so interested in your love life?

“And that’s all I needed to know.”

“Wait, Clarisse!” You shout back at her and she turns back around at you.

You made your way over to the girl as you spoke, “Why are you bullying the new kid? He did nothing to you.”

The Ares girl cocks her head to the side in fake amusement, “Because he deserves it.”

“Well stop bullying him. He didn’t do anything to you,” You stepped closer to her, a few inches distancing you which made Clarisse hold her breath. “You’re such a bitch, Clair, you don’t even have a valid reason as to why you’re bullying Percy.”

It was embarrassing for Clarisse to be stuttering on her words in front of you but she shook it off. The other demigod was the one to shorten the distance between you two and now your noses were barely touching.

“How about you mind your own business, Y/N. What I do doesn’t concern you at all.”

“Well, it does if you’re bullying people.”

“Why do you care so much, huh?” Her arms sneakily traveled to your lower waist as she pulled you in much closer. Closer than before, and the chemistry was flying off the charts. You gasped at her touch, but you didn’t resist her, instead looking into her eyes, cherishing her beauty— wait beautiful? Get your mind out of the gutter, I mean yeah she’s beautiful but you wouldn’t even admit that to her. Also, get your shit together Y/N, you hate her and she’s your enemy. That’s how it always was between the two of you and nothing more!

“We both know you don’t give a shit about that kid. Unless you just wanna find a new reason to talk with me. Oh yeah, that has to be it.” She clicks her tongue, praising herself with her own assumptions.

“We both know that I have more compassion than you and your whole little cliche combined.”

“You’re still deflecting, sweetheart.”

You held your tongue at the nickname, not wanting to stir up another useless argument. You just wanted a peaceful day but Clarisse was always there to wreck it. Remaining quiet only spurred Clarisse on to further tease you.

“Cat got your tongue, princess?”

“Don’t call me sweetheart or princess, it’s not endearing!” You yanked her hand away from you, backing off from her.

“To me it definitely is.” She playfully taunts, smiling coolly. “You just get a certain glint in your eyes whenever I say it….and I kinda like it.”

“I’m done with this conversation.” You shrug your shoulders as you head back to the bench to retrieve your book.

Before you can grab your book, Clarisse is quicker and snatches it away.

“You’re not going anywhere, sweetheart, I’m not finished with our conversation. Where are you running off to now?? I bet to your little boyfriend.” She jeers, blocking out the jealousy from her thoughts whenever Connor is mentioned.

“Seems like you’re jealous.”

“Huh, jealous?? Why would I be jealous?”

“You’re the one who brought up my boyfriend in a bitchy tone.” She throws your book at you and it is caught with ease.

“That doesn’t mean anything, I probably just hate both of you equally, and besides I would rather die than date you.”

“So would I!”

And with that, you two left that conversation and went your separate ways for now.

Later that same night, her reaction left you pondering in deep confusion. There was no way that Clarisse would like you. She hates you and the feeling is mutual.

Luckily, you noticed that she stopped taunting Percy and you were glad with that. Why would she listen to you? Clarisse never listens to anyone ever, even at times when the counselors can’t control her.

A few days passed and it seemed like Clarisse was getting even more snarkier with the insults. Even to the point when she chose you as her sparring partner, luckily she didn’t intentionally hurt you but at times you could tell she was holding herself back from actually doing so. To be honest, it scared you in a way.

You assumed that she was having a bad day and needed to blow off some steam. So you decide to brush it off until it starts to occur more frequently. And to your surprise, it wasn’t just you that she was lashing out at; it was almost anyone who seemed to bother her. And there were times she accidentally injured you, sometimes you could have sworn there was a flash of regret across her face.

Seemingly, you put the pieces together, she was meaner to you when you had a boyfriend and you were determined to figure out why.

There was a secret party for the teens. It was their one night away from their responsibilities and that once-in-a-lifetime opportunity was brazenly seized by their greedy hands. The music was blasting so loud, you were certain it could be heard from miles. The party was lively, having a few fireplaces as light sources.

Turning up fashionably late with Connor on your side. Your eyes wander around the party, scanning the guests as you mindlessly bite your lower lip, smudging your clear lipgloss.

Finally, your eyes stop darting around and they connect with Clarisse’s fierce ones; your enemy, you wouldn’t even grant her being classified as an acquaintance. She squinted her eyes slowly at you, mercilessly staring you down as if she was gonna devour you in mere seconds. No one embraced their wild side like Clarisse, and that was one of the many traits you adored.

For some unknown reason, you felt shy under her powerful gaze as you made a futile attempt to discard the burning sensation in your chest. You were the one who was supposed to leave her flustered, and not the other way around. After all your mother was Aphrodite, so you knew you had to embody her carefree and lustful spirit. Choosing to carry your attention elsewhere, you noticed her outfit, taking in her style and it was surprisingly decent.

Thankfully, It was your boyfriend Connor’s voice who broke you out of your trance with Clarisse.

“Babe, I’m gonna get us some drinks.” Connor bids you off with a cheek kiss and wanders off for some booze.

Feeling immediately awkward by yourself, you walked off, finding a friend to keep you company. After a while of catching up with your friend, you begin to notice your boyfriend’s absence. The intense worrying grew heavy in your heart for your boyfriend so you decided to cut the conversation short and look for him.

It was late evening so there was still some daylight, urging you to find Connor quicker. You hated being alone so you convinced your friend to come along with you. Calling him out by his name came to no avail as the only responses were the chirping crickets and hungry mosquitos buzzing around.

Heading to his cabin, you saw his figure in the dark, leaning on the wall and you smiled. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you observed even more carefully and noticed that he was not alone either. There was a lamp hovering above them, dimming their faces slightly but you could distinguish them.

Your eyes widen when a girl appears and they are intensely kissing, not engaging in any friendly conversation as before.

Tears welled up in your eyes as you stood frozen, unable to speak and your hands clenched up in anger and betrayal.

You were dating him for two months and he couldn’t even keep it in his pants. How could he do this to you? Did your love mean nothing to him so much that he’ll openly kiss another girl? If he claimed to love you so much why is he making out with a random girl? So much for love!

Connor opens the door, allowing the other girl to pull in him seductively and the door shut loudly. The loud noise of the door awakens your active thoughts and brings your actions to reality.

Like hell were you letting him get away with cheating on you? Who does he think he is cheating on you? You?!

You stormed up to his cabin, bursting open the door, catching them in the act. You watched him stumble over his words as he detached himself from the girl.

“Babe, it’s not what it looks like.”

Remaining silent, you grabbed him by the ear, dragging him outside for the campers to witness. The party was basically over and the teens were heading back to bed. Looks like they were in for a show tonight.

His pleas were falling on deaf eyes as you watched him pathetically beg to take him back. He went out to grab your hand but you pushed him off.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry, it just happened.”

It was pathetic really. For him to try to justify his reasoning for cheating on you.

“So your lips just fell onto that other girl's own??”

What happened next was beyond your control as your anger was increasing with every word that babbled out of his mouth. At this point, he just spoke lies to your face and you finally had enough of him.

It came as a shock to you when your hand raised, striking him hard across the face. Recovering from the hit, he staggers a bit and looks up in sadness.

You punched him, your emotions overwhelming your mind as you continued to hurt him, releasing your rage at him. Repeatedly, you punched him in the face as he tripped over his feet by the attacks inflicted upon him.

“In case you didn’t know we’re over you asshole. Go back to that blonde bitch!”

You ran away, doused in embarrassment and betrayal as your friend followed after you. Unknowingly, Clarisse was watching the argument occur from a distance and a blinded rage overtook her.

As soon as you reached your room, your friend knew you wanted to be alone so she respected that and left.

Once you were left alone, your tears came running freely as you rested against your pillow. All there was left to do was to cry, and you did just that.

Coming to think of it, you realized that he was pulling away from you and this relationship but you refused to accept it. You were heartbroken and foolish to even believe that he wouldn’t do something this selfish to you, but he did and the pain isn’t fading away. Every stupid thought of him made the tears glisten in your eyes and you hated that!

A loud commotion outside perched at your attention but you ignored it, too exhausted from your crying to witness it. Soon enough, the clamours of the campers subsided but you couldn’t have cared less.

The rough sound of footsteps at the door brought you out of your sad stupor. All of a sudden, the door bursts open which reveals Clarisse. Surprised by her arrival, you hurriedly wiped your tears away, not wanting to be caught in a dampening mood by her. She’d never let you live this down!

You sit up, still softly sniffling as you watch Clarisse storm over to the bathroom. She clicked on the light, and you heard items knocking over, no doubt she’d leave a mess.

The Ares girl left the bathroom empty-handed as she finally looked up and noticed you. You kept quiet, staring over at her, or at least her figure. It was dark in the cabin room, the bathroom light being the only source so her figure was outlined.

“Why are you in my cabin, Clair?”

For a while, she stayed silent and shuffled on her feet.

“Do I have to ask again?”

Still, she said nothing but switched on the cabin’s lights, turning her back to you. Her head was covered by the hood of her jacket and her hands stuffed in her pockets.

“I was looking for a medical kit.”

You gave her a quizzical look and you got up, grabbing her by the shoulder and spinning her around to you. She released a frustrated exhale as you removed the hood from her head, revealing her bruised face.

You gasped in shock, analyzing the injuries on her face as she avoided your eyes. Looking down at her stuffed hands, you quickly grabbed them from her pockets, holding them out to see.

Luckily, her face wasn’t too bad, receiving only a bloody tiny scratch on her right cheek but her hands were bruised and some dried blood was on them.

“It’s fine, I don’t need your help.” She roughly let go of your hands, walking away as she covered her face again.

“Why are you being so stubborn?”

“That’s my personality, did you forget?”

“Who did you fight, Clair?”

“It was your asshole of an ex.”

“Connor..” You trailed off, remembering hearing all that commotion outside but you ignored it, “That’s what the noise was outside.”

“Yeah, I beat his ass and I’d do it again.”

“I didn’t ask you to do that.”

“You didn’t have to ask me, I would have done it regardless.”

“But why?”

“Because he hurt you!” She yells, taking you by surprise, continuing with her outburst, “He was an asshole, and he cheated on you! You deserved better than him. I did what was necessary.”

“Well then who deserves me?”

“Me. I deserve you!” The curly-haired girl blurted out.

You paused for a moment and soon broke out into laughter.

An offended look appeared on Clarisse’s face but she decided to brush it off. She figured that the time wasn’t right. You were too vulnerable right now, dealing with heartbreak and she couldn’t convince herself to go through with it. Not with your state right now, you were too fragile.

A small grin dances upon her lips seeing you laugh. Truly she never noticed how beautiful your smile really was.

You shook your head, already insisting with great concern, “Come on, Clair, I’ll do it. We all know you’d refuse anyone else’s help.”

After a few consistent attempts to patch her up, she reluctantly agreed.

You grinned at her confused yet cute reaction as you dragged her by the hand, sitting her on your bed. Quickly heading to the bathroom and back, you spotted Clarisse sitting comfortably on your bed, peering at your stuffed animal. You returned with a medical box in your hand, settling back on the bed, sitting crisscrossed, as you faced Clarisse.

“You still sleep with a stuffed animal?” She pointed to it, cozy beside your pillow.

“Yes, I do, so what?”

“Nothing,” She chuckles.

The atmosphere was eerily tranquil as you carefully tended to Clarisse’s wounds. You started with her knuckles, wiping off the dried blood and discarding the dirty wipes.

“How bad do your knuckles hurt?”

“Ehh not that bad.” She stretches and relaxes her knuckles without straining herself.

“Hmm okay, that’s good.” You grab another clean wipe. “I have to clean your cheek, you’re bleeding there so it might just turn into a tiny scar.”

“Go ahead,” She reassured you.

You sigh, shuffling closer to her as you open the tube of antiseptic cream and apply some of it on her face. Momentarily, she silently hissed at the stinging sensation but endured it. Once you finished spreading the cream, you placed a band-aid across the cut.

Slowly but steadily, her eyes trail up to your face, admiring the features that you were blessed with. She stared at you lovingly with a soft smile adorning her face, observing how gentle your movements were. Your focus on her seemed to be unbreakable and that fuzzy feeling returns back to Clarisse’s stomach.

What were you doing to her? You must have cast some sort of spell on her! Clarisse refused to believe that you had her this hot and bothered, all for you!

“And I’m done…” you murmur, securing the band-aid on her face. Your touch lingers on her right cheek as your eyes connect with hers.

Even though there was not much to say, yet deep down both of you knew what was desperately needed. Now it all just depends on who would make the first move.

“You have pretty eyes, Clair…” you muttered, dropping your hand from her face.

Her shoulders were tense, her heart beating erratically and her adrenaline pumping through her veins. Why do you make her so flustered?

Much to Clarisse’s dismay, the door slammed shut breaking you two out of your love daze.

“Alright, you’re all done!” You clean up the tiny mess from your bed. Despite staying silent, Clarisse still admires you and the longing stares from her made it impossible not to detect.

At this very moment spent with you, her cold-hearted personality softened at a demanding rate. Could she open up to you, and confess? Would you accept her or leave her embarrassed and cold-hearted again?

Her vulnerability was on the line, despite it feeling unusual, somehow she felt a sense of security around you. Her heart squeezed around hope, dreaming that the kind sentiment would be reciprocated.

Guess there’s only one way to find out!

Reluctantly, you turned to her and before you could fully adjust, she was much closer than before. Suddenly, her hands gently cup both sides of your face and her lips softly graze yours.

Leaving no room for second thoughts, she slowly exhales before her lips softly touch yours. Sensing the hesitancy in your reaction, she immediately pulls away, dropping her hands away from your face.

A peck, that’s all she gave you. It lacked meaning but god, Clarisse hoped that peck left you greedy for more. More of her insatiable touch, and her desirable lips that you swoon over.

“I don’t know why I did that.” She confessed, blowing out a breath. Her eyes were frantically darting all around, intentionally avoiding your gaze.

What would you say to her? That you didn’t like girls or that you would never date her?

The silence was killing the Ares girl and she scoffs at you. Patience wasn’t one of her strongest qualities if you couldn’t tell.

“Would you mind saying something?” You blink at her as she groans, “At least anything— hmmph…” Grabbing her by the neck of her t-shirt, your lips reconnected again and this time it was more passionate. Molding together like perfect pieces of the puzzle, your lips stayed on hers, moving on one accord. Melting into the kiss together kept Clarisse grounded as her fingers travelled slowly across your skin. Her touch was magnifying, too hot to handle, giving you goosebumps all over.

Clarisse held all the power, and that drove her wild, bringing her dominance skills into play as her lips feverishly controlled yours.

The Ares girl kissed you like there was no tomorrow, either she was too scared to release or she might never experience this blissful feeling once again. And she’d hate it if someone else had the pleasure of kissing your soft lips. Oh, how they were so soft and gentle pressed up against hers. Clarisse’s lips were a little bit rough but you managed your way around them.

Taking the initiative of a new position, Clarisse settled you onto her lap as her arms entangled your waist. Somehow that position was achieved without breaking away from the kiss.

The wretched thoughts of someone else touching you, kissing you, loving you made her heart envy with possessiveness. Her grip on your waist tightened as her fingers gnawed in your sides, creating faux pleasure for herself.

She was bold, always going headfirst and she didn’t like sharing!

Tension grew heavy in the air as you two continued to make out but Clarisse forcefully broke the kiss.

“You’re mine, sweetheart,” She whispers, tone consumed with jealousy and possessiveness. Pressing a light kiss to your neck before trailing down, leaving wet open-mouthed kisses down your neck. “Nobody else but mine! Bet you even Connor couldn’t get you in this state!”

She was right, and for once you didn’t hate that she was. You hummed in agreement, loving how she took control of your mind and body so easily. Your hands are tangled up in her hair, lightly tugging on her bouncy curls.

Your mumbles were incoherent as she sucks on your skin, desperate to mark you.

She bites down harder on your skin making you moan sharply but wince slightly, “Say I’m yours and with your mouth this time, speak clearly too!” Gosh, was she demanding but you loved it so you obeyed her!

“I’m..yours, Clair! I’m all yours!”

“Good girl,”

Just like that, her lips found yours and it was another competition between the two except it was more than friendly. Both of your lips were swollen but neither of you chose to acknowledge it, wanting more of the other in your embrace. Deepening the kiss, Clarisse slid her tongue into your mouth and explored inside of it.

Before things could have highly escalated, you pulled away from the intense make-out, “Sorry that’s the only way I could get you to shut up.”

A smirk toyed at her lips, “Oh really? Then I guess I need to be silenced again.”

Raising an eyebrow in playfulness as you leaned in closer, “I would be happy to help.”

She grins, preparing for the kiss but it never came. “Wait, does this mean that we’re dating now?” The Ares girl internally scoffed in disbelief at the lack of kisses she had yet to receive from you.

“Of course it is, you idiot.”

“Hey, stop calling me that!”

“No, I will not. In fact, I refuse to stop calling you that because you are my idiot, aren’t you?” She teases you with that seductive glint in her eyes. Instinctively you found yourself agreeing with her statement, this girl had you in a trance!

“Technically,” You get off her lap, standing and facing her, “You didn’t ask me out so according to myself I’m still single!”

Clarisse stands up, hovering slightly over you, suppressing sneaking another kiss from you. “Like hell you are!”

She pulls both of you back onto the bed, dragging you down on her lap, relishing in your giggle. Once that moment faded, Clarisse stared intently into your eyes. “Would you do me the absolute favour of going on a date with me?”

“Of course I would!”

The Ares girl smiles and kisses your cheek, very content with your answer.

“And I thought you wanted a real kiss?”

“I would never say no to that!”

“Well, what are you waiting for?!”

You regretted teasing her with that statement because she pounced onto you, and pressed her lips against yours passionately.

“Oh yeah,” She nods and mumbles between the kisses, “I could get used to this.”

likes, comments, and reblogs are highly appreciated!

#dior goodjohn #dior goodjohn x reader #clarisse la rue #clarisse la rue x reader #clarisse la rue x fem!reader #clarisse la rue x black!reader #clarisse la rue x black!fem!reader #clarisse la rue x y/n #clarisse la rue x you #clarisse la rue angsty/fluffy #clarisse la rue imagine #clarisse la rue oneshot

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buildingthegrandtour · 1 year

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johnny

It’s been a long time since I felt comfortable in my own skin. It has been even longer since I felt comfortable with somebody else. Something about him… After spending a lifetime running out of breath trying to keep up with the pace of everybody else, he moves at a pace I can keep up with. He remains patient as I try to figure out my own pace. I am fascinated by him, the parts send my heart to flutter as well as the parts that make it crack. It’s not perfection but then if he was I don’t believe I would be so fascinated but rather worried.

I asked him to drive. I am in a town that I have not been in since before I was a teenager and he’s lived here most of his life. He knows where he’s going and I told him to surprise me. I want to learn more about him. And I trust him. I don’t bother checking out the scenery I want him to surprise me. I lay my head on the window and close my eyes holding to my consciousness so I can listen to the engine and the wheels as they move along the pavement. Allow myself to be lulled away from my ceaseless anxiety by The rhythms of the drive and the turns he makes. For all I know he was taking me to the spot where he will murder me. my cats are well taken care of so I’m not too concerned about that. Well, I trust he won’t do that. And if I’m wrong that’s okay. I’m not sure if that’s an optimistic or pessimistic way to look at it.

Sharp turn, and the rhythm changes, the sound is a little rougher. I lived in the country long enough to know what is happening at the moment. We’re on a gravel road now. I open my eyes to see that he has brought me to a cemetery. wavelengths frequencies oh my goodness I’m in trouble. We had discussed this he knows I like cemeteries he knows I find them relaxing.

As he drives along I wonder how does he play it, his time here? is there a particular corner that he is partial to? Or is it like me with my photo shoots where he just picks a spot, as though the dead beneath the ground or calling out to him come visit me today.

Come share this moment with me today.

l get out of the vehicle and he follows my lead. I choose a family tombstone and address them by name, thanking them for their invitation. He just smiles at me and i melt.

I am in so much trouble.

The few seconds it takes for him to sit down next to me stretch out to eternity. I don’t know what happens next and I’m not sure I really care. If he starts listing off movies in his collection I will just be happy that his voice is addressing me. If he sticks to silence I will just be happy that he chose me to keep him company.

If this is my last night on earth, well it’s a good thing I paid my respects before I took my seat. I let out a little giggle at the thought. There’s always that little bit of darkness that wants to come out. But it’s been coming out less and less since he decided to look in my direction. Not since I took theater and my first round of community college did I ever speak to anyone that treated me as though I held any importance. It was always everything and everyone was more important than me.

And my mind is swimming. As George Michael said when a dream comes true what the hell are you supposed to do with it? I think I will take the advice of my company and just see where it goes.

Maybe my bravery bar will level up a little bit. I didn’t have the cheat codes so who knows. Maybe his bravery bar will level up a little bit. Maybe….

Oh that touch. I’m getting that passion stirring up in me oh, the kind I never thought I’d be able to feel or that I’d be able to feel comfortable feeling ever again. That type that comes from Bram stoker’s Dracula. You know the one. Take me because you want me I will never tell you no, I will never turn you down.

He’s tracing my stockings, literally the only part of my outfit that is not brand new. Every other piece was bought and put together for him. I wanted him to be the first to see it. I know he likes reds, deep reds, so that was the accent color of the outfit, along with the little play of my mismatched Harlequin stockings, a crimson wrap around a grey tulle skirt, and it’s been at least a decade since I managed to get myself into a corset and not feel like a fool. I’m getting the feeling he likes it when he moves closer.

I can feel a little shiver moving down my spine as he moves closer to me, tracing the shape of my body as he works his way up to the nape of my neck. Oh that was a weakness I’m not sure I should have told him about. My head is swimming. Things are moving too fast. Things are moving at the perfect pace. Things aren’t moving fast enough. I’m not sure which because I’m not sure how time is moving, not at this moment.

I reach out to him, touch his face, trace his lips, let my hand rest on the back of his neck and move a little bit closer. His hand is tangled in my hair and his lips beneath my thumb just seconds ago are now gently pressed against mine. We take a second to wrap ourselves up into each other before our lips part and we taste each other for the first time.

The first time. That insinuates there will be a second. And hopefully a third and a fourth and… oh wow he tastes so sweet! And this is such the perfect place, where the world stands still, for that first lingering kiss and the passion that comes with it. Yes darling thank you for bringing me here.

originally posted 22 May 2022

#short stories #johnny #dream recollection

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powertrust · 2 years

Text

Bzflag aimbot hack

BZFLAG AIMBOT HACK SKIN

BZFLAG AIMBOT HACK FULL

BZFLAG AIMBOT HACK MODS

BZFLAG AIMBOT HACK SOFTWARE

BZFLAG AIMBOT HACK MODS

Actually manipulating the game code be it with mods or actually rebuilding the source, is something completely different. What you are talking about is griefing or trolling, and I agree 100%, that's just part of life. None of your examples hold weight against a competitive multiplayer game that's play professionally in an e-sports type manner. I'm just not sure how they'll deal with it when it spills over into the real world and people actually kill each other over their in-game antics. I know that I'd do so if it were my game to control. That has some certain benefits to it and, from a pure outside view, it appears the owners actually appreciate, if not condone, that sort of practice. It's an evil, vile, game that brings out the worst in people. I've read what those fuckers do to each other - intentionally. I'm not saying that I'd agree with such a person, or their behavior, but I'd have a little sympathy.

BZFLAG AIMBOT HACK SKIN

Someone, somewhere, is plotting how best to stitch another EVE player's skin into a body suit so that they can wear it while they kill the rest of the team. Hell, for all I know, it's already happened and I've just not read about that story yet. I'm just waiting for someone to die in real life. They know, they have to know, that they're going to die. It's like watching a wreck happen in slow motion where the people are cheering and wearing party hats.

BZFLAG AIMBOT HACK FULL

I like the long, exposé, types of stories that go into full details and actually describe what happened. No, I seriously do look for the stories and read them. Seriously, EVE is gonna result in someone waking up dead one day. A bunch of crazy Americans are going to hop on a boat, row to Iceland, and just start shooting the developers. Iceland has like a half dozen firearms, in the whole country. I've read stories about some of the greatest takeovers, robberies, and con jobs - and they all took place in EVE. Someone's gonna shoot someone over the antics in that game - by the players themselves. Even if they made a client for my system, I'd not play. I am not a gamer but I've read about EVE.

BZFLAG AIMBOT HACK SOFTWARE

They would always try to hide the fact they were cheating, so unless you got a rare software detection, discerning cheating from good or lucky play was hard (but not impossible) for an admin. When it became clear that they weren't cut out for it (you need both a hell of a lot of practice time and god's own natural reflexes to cut it in that world), they'd often resort to cheats. There were lots of players who frankly weren't good enough who thought they could make a fist of pro-gaming. "Pro-gaming" was in its infancy back then, but was already becoming "a thing" and there was sponsorship and prize money floating around. This was the only kind we tended to see in the competitive league. The third kind were the properly competitive gamers who felt they were struggling to keep up with the pack and thought that by making subtle use of cheats, they could give themselves an edge. It's even worse to play a guy who is open and proud about the fact he's cheating, in a world where it can take time (up to an hour, on the public servers) to summon an admin. After all, it's annoying to play a guy you think might be cheating. Some of them would try to hide their cheating, but a lot of them were pretty damned open about it. The largest group were the trolls the people who cheated not because it was fun in itself, but because they got off on pissing off other people and screwing up their leisure time. There probably weren't too many of these. The first was simple curiosity people who were bored of playing the game honestly and just wanted to see what the cheats were like. The guys running the "open" public servers sponsored by the same company were getting a similar number of detections in the average week.īy and large, I think there were three reasons why people cheated. In the 18 months or so I was running the league, we had maybe 10 cheat detections during competitive play. Cheating was a pretty big issue back then (not least because software anit-cheat was much less developed) and we spent a lot of time on the watch for it. Way back in the distant dawn of time (or at least, of competitive Counter-Strike play), I ran a major UK Counter-Strike league.

#Bzflag aimbot hack

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chocominnie · 3 years

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One Last Time — 05

⇢ pairing: Jimin X Reader

⇢ Genre: Idol!Jimin, Exbf!Jimin, model!reader, sad au, fluff, tons of smut, angst

⇢ Synopsis: Your idol ex boyfriend Jimin cheated on you. You two have been broken up for a while now and the media has been keeping track of you and him. You’re trying to get over him, but the things that happen inbetween makes you re-think the entire breakup, and so does Jimin…

⇢ Song : xxxxx

⇢ Previous : 00 01 02

⇢ Word Count : 3k

⇢ Warnings: dominant jimin, makeout sessions, this is honestly a sad angsty au, cheating, pregnancy, unprotected and protected sex, a bunch of sex, no really a LOT of sexual themes too, I know I’m forgetting some but sorry in advance!

⇢ Copyright: please do NOT repost, translate, or modify my works in any way, shape or form, on any platform. If found doing so , it is considered as plagiarism and appropriate LEGAL action will be taken

⇢ Authors note: This is my mini series for the summer! Get your tissues, things to take your anger out on, and sit back and watch the drama unfold. Shall we begin?

The scent of vanilla with a hint of cinnamon is what wakes you up from your sleep. Hair and body tangled in-between the blankets, which lets you know you you had tossed and turned once again. The frizzball on your head is definitely going to be a challenge to work with. Stretching your limbs, you let out a small yawn only for your hands to drop back down and feel nothing but cold emptiness.

Was it a dream? Dream? You didn’t even have one of your night terrors for the first time in a year. The dream to you seemed rather pleasent. Jimin tangled up in your arms as he holds you tight while you breathe into his bare chest. The warmness is something you had longed for once again and it all felt surreal.

‘‘ You awake yet?’‘

The voice startles you, making you drop your phone onto the comforter and turn your head towards the bedroom door where it came from. His blonde hair and small smile peep through the door, hoping to atleast get a better reaction out of you.

So it is real.

“ You’re really here? Did I bump my head too hard to where im imagining things?” You pull the covers close to you for security. Just as in your dream, there he is barechest and all.

He lets out a squeaky laugh followed by a smile as he comes towards your bed, tapping them to give you a signal to open. You raise an eyebrow but oblige, spreading them a bit only for him to sit inbetween them. It feels as if you’re heart might explode with the sudden flirtacious moves from him. Something you have been wanting but still aren’t used to.

‘‘ You slept so good that you don’t remember last night?”

You look at him eyes wide and then down to your body, “ Please tell me we didn’t-’’

‘‘ As much as I would of love to, No.’‘

A shot of relief flows through you but sadness soon comes over. He isn’t yours to be thinking these sorts of things. He isn’t yours in general. It wouldn’t be right for him to say things like that to you, while still entangled with another female.

‘‘ Why so sad?” His hands comes to your face to caress your cheeks. You shake your head softly then grab his hand to slowly lower it back down.

Jimin sighs, “ Baby just tell me whats wrong.’’

That word. That word you know always messes things up with your thoughts. Your emotions, hell everything in your body too.

You slowly make your way off of the bed, not interested in the conversation anymore. It’s not like you don’t want to continue, you do, but the guilt of everything that comes with it is enough to stir you away.

‘‘ Jimin don’t use that word. You technically still belong to Isabel.”

‘‘ Is she here at this very moment?” He cocks his head to the side with a smirk. You roll your eyes in response to his cockiness.

‘‘ No. That doesn’t change the fa-”

‘‘ Alright then. Now are you going to tell me what’s really on your mind or do I have to force it out?” He raises his hands and scrunches them with grabby motions. You don’t fall for it though.

You make your way to the doorway, “ That’s all Jimin. I promise. Just call me by my real name okay?’’

But that’s not what you want. What you want you know you can’t have. It’s not because you can’t have it because you want too. It’s just that it would make you feel like a terrible, horrible person. The look on his face when you say those words almost make you give in. Those puppy eyes caught yours and for a split second you almost consider it but don’t. It’s hard for you, it really is. Having something dangling in your face but you’re too concious to have it.

He’s still not yours.

With the morning being spent eating a good breakfast Jimin made your favorite pancakes. You watched him carefully, the way his hair bobbed up and down a bit while his right arm whisked the batter quickly. He seemed so natural and comfortable as if he was used to doing this for you. With your elbows on the island counter and head in your hands while you’re seated, you can’t help yourself to stare at the back of him and let the memories float in your mind.

Memories that never fade from you. It’s cute of him to steal glances of you here and there when pouring the batter into the pan. The small winks he gives you makes your heart flutter and the blood rush to your cheeks. It feels rather good to you to have his presence here. Despite the guilty feeling in the pit of your stomach.

The rest of the day you two decide to lounge around. Endless movies and tv shows throughout the day as you’re cuddled up next to him with a pink colored blanket for the two of you to share. Clara seems to enjoy her time with him too since she won’t let him put her down. She meows loudly with every movement of him. Such a drama queen.

‘‘ Jimin it’s getting late..” You pause, looking up at him. He gives you a small frown when he sits up in hopes you won’t finish your sentence. “ She might begin to worry you’re not home yet.”

Jimin ignores your comment only to latch onto your body a little more rougher, arms not wanting to let go. You giggle before running your fingers through his hair as his head lays softly onto your chest. You wan’t him to leave mentally, but your body wants to hold on to him for way much longer.

‘‘ Your heartbeat is soothing to me.”

It always has been. Anytime he just wanted to talk when you were in a relationship, he would lay you down and then lay himself on you with his ear pressed against your chest. Some days he would have been happy to talk, others, he just wanted to lay there to fall asleep.

‘‘ Seriously Jimin. You should leave.”

He shakes his head, ‘’ Shhh. Jungkook is coming soon and I would love to sit here and have you to myself.’’

You raise an eyebrow is confusion, “ Why is he coming here?’’

‘‘ I kind of sort of lost my keys to my home. Isabel came yesterday to give the copy’s she went and made when we were at Ryan’s office. I left the house key with Jungkook while going after you instead of putting it on my keychain right away.”

So that explains why she came. It also would of been better to have touch pad, or even facial recognition to enter the home. Anyone can just copy the key to your home. The fans are already crazy enough after that time you two saw one trying to follow you into your used-to-be shared apartment. It didn’t end so well either.

“ Why don’t you have touch-pad?” You say, sitting up with a disappointed look.

‘‘ Funny story. When the house was made I thought keys would be better than touch-pad on the outside because any paparazzi who manages to get through the front could snap pictures of the code. So why not use a key right?’‘

You just sigh and shake your head in disappointment, not even wanting to explain why that would still be a dumb idea. “ Whatever makes you happy.”

‘‘ But if you were there you would of stopped me.. right?”

Your eyes shoot down to him only to see him staring right back up into yours. The butterflies in your stomach begin to flutter once more. It’s been so long since you felt those.

‘‘ Yes. Yes I would have told you it was a dumb option because nobody can make it past security without calling you first.’‘ You whisper, both of your faces inches away from each other.

‘‘ I thought so. Can I make another dumb suggestion?’‘ His voice says, faint enough for you to hear making the hairs stick up on your neck.

You swallow slowly as chills run down your spine out of anxiety, ‘‘ What?’‘

‘‘ This.’‘

It all feels surreal to you. His lips against yours moving in sync together it’s all just surreal. Within seconds his tongue is swiping against your lips begging for entrance in which you comply. The way his hands rub up and down your thighs is sure to make you moan against the kiss, grabbing them to lead it to your core. He obliges and traces the outline of it outside of your clothing, laying you down gently on the couch in the process.

Until that painful doorbell rings loudly causing you both to groan. Jimin pulls away with a plop noise and give you a wink before lifting off of you to go see who is at the door. Your clothes are ruffled up a bit and that small wet spot between your legs seems to not too noticeable when you fix yourself up quickly.

Sex with Jimin. You almost had sex with Jimin. You feel wrong about it but at the same time you want nothing more to have him make you a screaming moaning mess. You miss him, the way his stroke game is, and everything about him dominating you in the bedroom.

He’s still not yours though.

‘‘ Who is it?’‘

You sit up and fix your hair to at-least look presentable. That kiss meant everything to you. Your feelings and body enjoyed it but your mind did not. It slipped your mind that you should of pulled away. Nothing can replace how it felt to have his lips on yours again.

The door opens revealing Jungkook who’s face is a little red and breathing hard. He runs inside and shoves Jimin out the way before slamming the door shut and locking it with his back against the wall. You furrow your eyebrows and get up from the spot you’re sitting in.

‘‘ Jungkook what’s happening? Why are you run-”

Bang! Bang! Bang!

‘‘ Open the door now! I know you guys are in there! Jimin get your ass out here now!’’

Bang! Bang! Bang!

Your eyes go wide. That voice. That oh so familiar voice is standing right outside your apartment door.

‘‘ I tried telling her you went to practice with Seokjin for some new choreography but she knew I lied. Im sorry I tried to run as fast as I could to my car to get away from her. She followed me here in her car and then I had to run some more up to your apartment.’‘ He breathes hard, handing the new set of keys to Jimin.

Shit! You have no words to say. This wouldn’t of all started if you wouldn’t have been so stubborn yesterday to just take a taxi. You wouldn’t of passed out, he wouldn’t have been here with you all day today.

That doesn’t excuse the fact that this girl is batshit crazy for following Jungkook and showing up at your actual fucking apartment. Jimin looks at you with sorriness in his eyes. You look at him with anger and cross your arms to prove your point as to why he should have left in the first place.

‘‘ Im going outside to talk to her. I’ll be back in a couple of minutes.”

Jimin’s hand pushes down the handle to the door and as soon as he cracks it open, the force of the door pushes open harshly hitting the wall next to it, making him stumble back a little.

‘‘ So you think it is okay to go to your exes apartment? I would never disrespect you like that Jimin, you know that!” Rage has taken upon her, face red and it doesn’t already help that her facial expression is beyond pissed.

Slap!

You watch in horror as her hand connects with his left cheek. Jungkook’s eyes go wide, but then frown into anger before walking over to her. Stomping with each step he takes.

“ Watch what your fucking doing okay? That’s my brother and I certainly do not hit girls but with one click of a button Ryan will be on her way to beat your ass got it?’’

‘‘ Jungkook stay out of this! This isn’t your battle. Now you, you have some nerve letting him inside here. Obviously you were not enough for him to go cheating on you.” Isabel says, stepping away from Jimin and leaving him there at the door.

That one hurt. She does have a point though, you should of made Jimin leave regardless of what he said to you. You got caught up in the moments that weren’t meant to be yours. Its true, she has every right to be mad.

‘‘ I don’t appreciate you being around Jimin..” She inches closer to you, hands on her hips. You begin to back up, eyes to the ground of guilt. If only things wouldn’t have unfolded like this.

‘‘ Your relationship to him is starting to be inapropriate.” Isabel’s eyes make contact with yours when you look up. She looks at you as if you’re disgusting, and you can’t blame her.

‘‘ Isabel..’‘ Jimin warns, coming behind her.

On the heel of her feet, she turns around shaking her head. “You don’t deserve to talk. You care so much about her, but did you forget we are a couple? We may just be cooling things off between us, but you are still mine as I am to you.’‘

Jimin sighs, stopping just behind her, ‘‘ Isabel look..”

“ Jimin..” Jungkook starts, uneasy of what his brother is to say next. You know what’s coming and you know that tone of Jimin’s voice all too well.

The same one he used when breaking up with you. You see the tears well in her eyes. Some part of you feels bad for her because you know those words well. You know that feeling all too good.

‘‘ Are you really breaking up with me because of her? We were doing just fine until she showed back up in the picture. Are you seriously doing this?” Her voice cracks on the last words. That made your heart sting a bit. This isn’t right.

Jimin sighs looking at the two of you back and forth. You are the one for him, it’s no doubt. It was a stupid choice for him to cheat on you. It was a stupid choice for him to leave you in the dust like that. You gave him everything. A loving relationship, a home, happiness, you are the highlight of his days. He misses you just as much as you miss him.

“ Isabel we are through. I’m sorry I couldn’t be the man to your expectations. It’s my fault. All my fault and I shouldn’t have let you belie-”

“ Fuck you. Fuck you Park Jimin.” Her words slice through the air, piercing Jimin right in his heart. It hurt for him to hear that, but he deserves it.

Jungkook doesn’t look so shocked, but he does wish Jimin would have did this else-where other than your apartment. Isabel looks at you with envy, reaching into her small chanel bag for something. Jungkook gives her a warning look to just leave before grabbing your arm to make you stand behind him.

“ Isabel I’ll walk you down. It’s best to just leave it be. Please.” Jimin begs from behind her. You watch the tears roll down her eyes and you still can’t help but to feel guilty.

You are the cause of their breakup. Maybe you really should have minded your business about Jimin. Maybe you shouldn’t have entertained his charming ways at all. Looking back down at her hands, you see a small pocket knife she grips tightly. You tap Jungkook and point which makes him push you behind him even more.

“ It’s a bad idea. You can hurt me but you wont hurt my brother or her.” He says, daring her to make any type of movement towards you.

Jimin comes behind her and attempts to grab the knife in which she slashes his palm on accident trying to push him away. In that quick second, Jimin hisses in pain while pulling away giving Isabel all the time she has to get to you while Jungkook is already across the room for his brother, forgetting you hiding behind him.

‘‘ Shit! Jimin are you okay?” He asks, but then quickly turns to you, “ Quick! Go hide! Hurry! “ Jungkook screams.

‘‘ Isabel this isn’t what he wants. He wants you to be happy and getting back at me will only upset him more!” As if your words would even convince the crazy girl in the slightest.

She just laughs as your words, fastly walking to you who’s, running towards the living area thinking it would cut time shorter if you cut through there to your bathroom.

You aren’t fast enough. She tackles you to the ground where you two rumble around trying to get away from her until she putting all her weight on you as she sits directly on your chest making it hard for you to breathe.

“ Maybe a little mark on your face will tell you to stop home-wrecking people’s relationship.” She raises the knife up high and you watch in horror before she raises it back to in attempt to make a slash on your forehead.

You block each attempt at her trying to slash anything on your face. Your dad always told you to protect your face in self defense and fighting and thats what you do. Only until with one last thrush, the knife connects with your forearm, making a nice sized gash on it.

‘‘ Fuck!”

The voices in your area fade in and out. You look to your left to see Isabel being dragged out by a pair of cops. But the puddle of blood forming around you rapidly sends you into panic. Only you cant panic. You cant speak. Your vision is slowly loosing faith in you.

Open.

Close.

Open.

Close.

Open.

Cl-

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oksana-moods · 3 years

Text

Overdose

Summary: Just like an addict, you should stay away from your addiction, from her. But what can you really do when she always shows up at your door with that smile?

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader

A/N: Second one-shot from 300 followers’ celebration. This piece was one of the hardest to write and I took a lot from myself in this, hope you guys like it. Once, I read somewhere that we should take our pain and turn it into art, so here we are. As usual, let me know your thoughts.

Warnings: Angst, language, cheating, toxic relationship, mentions of alcohol. If there’s any other that should be mentioned, let me know.

“Heart locked up, it all went numb, you stole the breath inside my lungs.”

The tics of the clock on the wall were a dauting reminder that you were wrong. Or right. It depends on the point of view.

You had been right that she’d fail you again; you had been right that she’d hurt you again; you had been right that she’d break yet another promise. You had been wrong, though, in giving her one more chance. ‘Cause all she managed to do with this new opportunity was to break your heart, one more time.

Did she? You wondered. How can someone break even more what’s already in pieces? Shattered in thousands of tiny shards, impossible to mend. It wouldn’t be farfetched to assume it couldn’t break further.

Still, she could. She did.

You stared at the window and every droplet of rain on the window was another second, another reminder of how replaceable you were. It may seem cold, but that’s just what you are. To Natasha, you were the one who were always available when she needed. When there wasn’t anybody else. Nothing else.

First it had been Bruce. You could see every step she took away from you that led her closer to him, but you understood. Ultron had played with your minds, and they hit Natasha’s core. Her guilt. And much like a moth to a flame, she was draw to Bruce, another person buried in guilt, only he couldn’t be man enough to bear a woman like Natasha.

So, when he flew away, she came to you, and you were there. Arms right open because you felt guilty too about your past, but this wasn’t what she was looking for. No. When Natasha Romanoff came to your room on the compound, she wanted something else other than guilt. And you let her take it.

Then, it was Steve. Of course, it’d be. You had that coming, actually.

She always sorts of venerated the guy. Oh how could he be so strong and never let his morals fade or change? And how could you be surprised when you were locked away on the Raft while she was on the run with Mr. Righteous?

You had your morals too. You had your own code, but this wasn’t what she was looking for. It took a while, but eventually they came after the ones who got arrested. Wanda found Vision and disappeared, Sam joined them while Clint made a deal and went back to his family.

And you? Well, the second you registered the way she looked at Steve as if admiring some sort of God, it was clear that you didn’t have a place with them. She didn’t want a place with you.

Not really surprising was the day she showed up at your door. Her doe eyes pleading innocence, her scent toxic to breathe, toxic to your brain, to your heart. Every time she went away, you felt like an addicted struggling to recompose only for her to come back again and bring your resolve down. Running in circles, relapsing into her arms as if you belonged there.

When she finally opened the door of your apartment, you were on the kitchen counter cleaning the dishes from your failed dinner. You took the last sip from your wine and locked eyes with her over the rim of the glass.

She had the gal to shoot you a small smile, as if she there was nothing wrong about her late arrival, as if there wasn’t any agony inundating your eyes. Right after you finished with the sink you turned and leaned your back on the counter, for her body was blocking your path to the couch.

She was right in front of you with a perfect silk black dress and make-up smudged on the wrong places. You hated it. She took one more step closer and she reeked of alcohol and that cheap colony that belonged to Barnes. You sighed and the floor suddenly felt more appealing than her face.

Natasha flushed her body against yours, her warmth trying to invade your system, and lifted your chin to lock eyes with you again, but you stopped her by taking her wrist and bringing it down. You didn’t want her to touch you, not when you knew she still had the feel of him on her skin.

“What’s wrong, babe?” Her breath hit you full force, now inches away.

“Why do you do this, Natasha?” Your voice was flat, emotionless, just like you’ve been feeling lately. Numb. She took everything she wanted from you and always left you with a void where your heart should be.

“I’m sorry I was late.” Her eyes never flicked with her blatant lie. She wasn’t sorry, not really. “Bucky needed a beer; guess we got a bit carried away.” You sighed, she’s losing her touch with her lies and manipulation.

“So I don’t suppose you, or he, knows what happened for your lipstick to get smudge or for that bruise on your neck to appear.” You were angry, she knew, you hated how she played you like a toy. More so, you hated how you couldn’t break away from her.

She opened her mouth to speak, but you beat her to it. “Can’t you see the poison in us, Nat?” Your eyes stung with unshed tears, burning your very soul. “Is getting hard to breath, to live in this mess, in this smoke of lies you’re spitting at me.” You couldn’t take it anymore; you were hurting too much to forgive or forget.

“What are you talking about? Bucky is just a friend and after Steve, we’ve been trying to cope, we are…” She couldn’t even make an excuse. This was so sick. She was so sick. They have been struggling with Steve going back in time to stay with Peggy, and left Natasha and Bucky behind, but they couldn’t get past it without getting into each other’s bed.

“This is so fucked up. Do you even realize what you’re doing?” You tried to move away from her, but she held you in place, caged between her hips and the counter. “Can’t you see how this is taking every part of me?”

For a second, she was speechless. For a second, the manipulative bitch in her was taken aback and all you could do was to marvel in her beauty, in how her eyes glowed even in the dim light of the kitchen. For a second, you hoped she’d fall into her senses and see how much she had taken from you, how much she asked and failed in delivery.

For a second, you thought she could lie and pretend that she was hurting too, by realizing how much pain she had caused, how many sleepless nights she had caused, but no.

“I don’t understand, babe.” You closed your eyes at her soft voice, trying to lure you in, much like a siren. “I’ve been doing everything in my power to make things right this time. I was… But Bucky and I… It’s complicated.”

Her poor excuses flared the anger boiling in you. She couldn’t even admit her wrongs, her mistakes. If you had to name one single flaw on Natasha, that was it, she couldn’t speak her heart, she couldn’t, for the life in her, speak the full truth once.

Your throat burned with how much you wanted to scream, to yell, to whatever, just to make her feel something. Just to make her show some emotion, anything.

“One moment, Natasha.” Your tone was one octave from yelling, yet she didn’t flinch. “One fucking moment, it was all I’ve asked. And maybe…” All your fury was gone again as if her indifference put out all the fire in you, “maybe my misery would’ve been well spend.”

“I said that I was trying.” She held your hand tight, the alcohol in her breath was intoxicating, poisoning your senses. “And this is me trying, babe.” Her voice was low, raspy in a way that always slipped into the cracks of your resolve.

You sighed and shaking your head you finally pushed her aside and, once free from her hold, you could breathe again. You walked to the couch and let your body to fall, suddenly too heavy, too tired to stay up. You just wanted her to leave again, you didn’t want to continue this conversation.

You were trying to get your bearings, trying to get what was left from your heart when her hands pushed your shoulders behind and after opening your eyes, you saw her straddling your lap, hands on your hair.

You damned whatever god was out there, for she was so damn beautiful and why, in the heavens, had she the power over your heart like this? Natasha felt in your lips like a toxic cigar, one that you couldn’t quit, not when she looked like this, as if she was the face of innocence.

“Give me one more chance” Nat speaks softly, and you tasted the alcohol present on her breath. The smell of another person impregnating her clothes, her skin, was a somber reminder of her infidelity and your heart sank even more.

“I can’t. I’m addicted to you, Nat.” You sighed and begged for heavens to send the willpower you know you lack. “And I don’t wanna overdose.” You closed your eyes, for you couldn’t stand her eyes and the spells hidden within.

You felt her tongue touching your earlobe and soon her nose traced your jawline. You could feel your determination crumbling down, one more time.

“Please.” She pleaded in that tone that was more like a command than a request. The tone she used and always forced you to abide to her wishes. Her blank stare felt as if she was twisting a knife on your heart, and you wished you could grab your feelings from the floor.

In that moment, you were raw, more than broken, Natasha had you cut wide open, not that she would mind. Completely drunk in her, you’d take another hit of her touch, even though you know the high is not enough. But you’re an addicted, after all, such details didn’t matter.

Even after everything she’s done, you’re just not over her yet. Devoid of any emotion, devoid of any self-love, you reply. “Okay.”

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x you #natasha x you #natasha x reader #natasha romanov #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #natasha romanoff x female reader #natasha romanoff angst #black widow x reader #black widow x female reader #black widow #yelena belova angst #marvel wlw #overdose tayler buono #wlw #wlw angst

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kindaeccentric · 3 years

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When I was writing my university bachelor's degree thesis (that I'm still to defend) about Penny Dreadful as a modern adaptation of Frankenstein I noticed how the original novel's homoeroticism is realized by the series in an interesting way.

In the way he is presented, it seems to me that Victor secretly desires men, but thinks that only through creating a perfect one by himself he's allowed to touch other man's skin. His endeavour to pierce the veil between life and death is an excuse, since Victor from the series grew up lonely after the death of his mother and he searches for companionship, for someone who would love him unconditionally, like his mother used to. He believes he can find such love only in a person he creates himself, brings from the dead, and who would see him as his only friend, calm and obedient. Yet his first instinct is to make a man, not a woman, and a handsome man at that.

I can imagine both Rory Kinnear and Alex Price are not everybody's cup of tea (I do find them attractive, they are quite charismatic), but the way the original Creature and Proteus are shown makes them attractive. Proteus we see through Victor's eyes, when he is tending to his body before its even reanimated, when he sketches him (a sure sign of affection) and when he teaches him how to eat in a way that becomes seductive, because of how the camera lingers on his lips and then, in a closeup, on his fingers running down his long throat, immediately bringing to mind erotic imagery. Some may argue that Victor tries to emulate the relationship between his mother and himself taking the parental role and projecting onto Proteus the role of his childhood self, and as much as it is partially true, their relationship bears these marks of hidden desire on Victor's part from the start. The image at the end of the first episode when Proteus is born shows Victor trembling, teary-eyed, looking at the body, a torn and stitched back together, but human body, of a naked man. He's afraid, but not necessarily of the man, but of finally getting what he wanted, it's a fear resulting from excitement. Then the man is touching his face tenderly and Victor, still trembling, cannot stop himself from a little smile. Their faces are softly illuminated by the orange light of the gas lamp, creating an intimate atmosphere of a warm bedroom. Victor practically gasps hearing his own name smoken by Proteus. I doubt all of it was intentional in the way I read it, but it doesn't change the fact that the final scene can be easily interpreted this way.

Then the original Creature, with the violence surrounding his return, presents him as highly masculine, smart, powerful, a direct opposite to the delicate, clueless Proteus Victor could easily form into whatever he wanted. The Creature throughout the entire series is perceived as ugly by some and easily tolerated by others, making his ugliness purely subjective, since, despite his small deformities he remains strangely alluring with his gothic qualities (black long hair, black lips, white skin, yellow eyes, proportional features) of a dark brooding gentleman. With blood on his face he becomes vampire-like (vampires always a symbol of hidden desires and 'depraved' sexuality, the Creature and Victor becoming a mirror image of Vanessa and vampire Mina, both Creature's and Mina's monstrosity an indirect result of Victor's and Vanessa's desire towards having a same-sex companion). The Creature touches Victor's face, a callback to Proteus doing it, but the Creature is not gentle, he smears blood all over Victor's face (blood in vampire narratives was always a symbol for other bodily fluids, that's why it seems so sexy, it also gained another meaning in the 80s, due to the HIV epidemic, which no filmmaker can shake off if they tried, I could discuss it more with The Lost Boys, but no time for that right now).

The dynamic between Victor and the Creature is a reversal of Victor's budding relationship with Proteus, experience winning over innocence. Victor is under another man's rule, and it terrifies him, because it would force him into a position of having to admit his attraction, whereas as the one in control he could have still easily deny it. The Creature, with all his attributes, symbolizes carnal love, he's all 'body', where Proteus was virginal, pious love (to an extent). In one of the scenes where we see Proteus he looks up into the skylight at Victor's apartment and appears angelic, as if in a halo of white light.

It's revealed Victor never had a woman, and the series wants the viewer to believe it's because of his awkwardness and passion for science that consumed him, but his dedication to creating himself male companions instead of searching for a living female one is exactly what makes him seem more queer coded.

It's clear that the lack of paternal figure results in Victor quickly becoming close with older men he encounters (Sir Malcolm, Van Helsing), but it also puts him into a position where he's constantly surrounded by men, with whom he feels more at ease, and is intimidated by women. The rivalry between him and Ethan is that of siblings, until the moment when Ethan teaches him how to shoot a gun. It might be a stretch (it is a bit of a stretch, I admit), but a gun often, especially in horror, alongside a knife, represents manhood and masculine power. Victor allows Ethan to touch him and encourages him to show off with the gun, which is a scene all too familiar from many other movies where the role of Victor is reserved for a woman and the interaction is flirtatious (can't pull examples out of thin air, but if you saw over 1400 movies like me you know I'm not lying). All this adds to the general image of Victor.

The Creature and Victor, when they are on a walk, have a very revealing conversation in which the Creature points out how quick Victor was to grow attached to his more perfect man, and Victor doesn't deny it, he admits that he did in fact feel affection towards Proteus, although the meaning of it as the scorned past partner expressing jealousy over the love he didn't get while someone else did is largely subtext. When the Creature says that he's lonely, Victor answers 'I cannot love you' (paraphrase, because I can't find the exact quote right now) and the Creature, disillusioned, mocks him, 'I do not want what you cannot give' suggesting that Victor, by making himself a meek obedient man, is selfish, cruel, manipulating, and a coward, therefore could not have loved Proteus truly. Then again, Victor cannot bring himself to love his original Creature, because he's not the ideal man he envisioned and by then the Creature being too aware of his flaws of character. The Creature/Caliban/John Clare knows that Victor is 'monstrous', not just because he's someone who desecrates dead bodies, plays God and abandons his creation, but because of his queer desire. It's important that in the case of Penny Dreadful 'monstrosity' signifies many different things, literal (being a vampire werewolf, witch, and so on), metaphorical (bad deeds, like letting your son die a horrible death, cheating, killing etc.) and wholy subjective, merely condemned by ignorant society (Sembene's blackness, Brona's sex work, Lily's want to be equal or greater than men, Vanessa's want for sexual freedom, the Creature's ugliness, Angelique being transgender and other cases), so it's NOT that much of a stretch this time.

We also have the whole problem with Lily. Victor is so attached to Lily (who takes up both Elizabeth's and creature's bride parts in the novel) because he believes that only by possessing a good woman he'll be redeemed for his 'sinful' desires, but he's foolish to think that. This belief reduces a woman to a semi-maternal, semi-virginal angelic ideal with no sexual urges or agency, like virgin Mary. Lily is a true replacement for Victor's mother, and his imagined redemption. As long as she's similar to Proteus, in that she's not sexual, and pure like an angel. Yet Lily is not a woman in that sense. She is another of Victor's creatures, so she partially also takes over the role of the original Creature from the novel, a male. She's not an ideal of a Victorian obedient wife, she has power, or tries to have it, but power in the context of patriarchal society is masculine by nature. The moment she drops her pretenses of a weak delicate wife-like girl Victor does not want her like this. He doesn't want a woman that is sexually liberated, because he doesn't like women in this way, and yet, by being similar to the first Creature (from Victor's perspective, from hers John Clare is similar to Victor-a man, I could delve into Brona's sexuality, but later, this thing is already way longer than I intended) she's 'the man' he wanted.

There is also Henry. Henry Jekyll takes the role of his namesake in the novel, Henry Clerval, Victor's closest friend, and a character most often cited to have homoerotic tension with Victor. It's true that some of the eroticism might be accidental, stemming from the prevalence of homosocial interactions in 'Frankenstein' which in turn is a result of misogynistic nature of 19th century Genevian society and in-novel universe reflecting it, but like I mentioned before, it still feeds into the queer reading of the text and translates beautifully into Jekyll and Victor being both extremely misogynistic towards Lily and their mutual homoerotic tension. In the scenes where Henry purposes his plan to Victor he practically seductively purrs it into his ear, Lily becomes merely a female buffer that allows for that interaction, a female presence which is an excuse for male closeness (here I have a couple of examples actually: Dead Ringers, Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, Scream (in a roundabout way, through murder) and a couple others, but that deserves its own article). I won't even mention more references to the novel, because that's a lot already.

Penny Dreadful, although I believe largely unintentionally, expands on what is already there through the changes it introduces in relation to the novel's plot. I have nothing else smart to say, I just think it's worth considering.

*I use the word 'queer', because that's the umbrella term we use in academic writing for years now and even our lgbt+ group at university is called 'queer', so don't come at me with stupid takes

#Penny Dreadful #queer readings #Frankenstein #Victor Frankenstein #lily frankenstein

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1engele · 3 years

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daybreak | sal fisher x fem!reader - 2. math

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[warnings: cursing, mention of smoking, mention of household abuse of a teenager]

"what a plot twist you were."

—

The next day, you'd wakened with dry lungs and an even drier mouth.

It was true that smoking was bad for you—but it hadn't been as horrible as you'd thought. You'd try it again, but you couldn't see yourself becoming addicted.

Your mother wasn't home, again. You were quick to understand that she worked longer shifts now and you wouldn't see her a whole lot.

Not like you cared. Michelle never really liked you all that well. You'd probably have been dumped on the street a long time ago had your father not legally obligated to pay child support.

You'd never known him. You weren't sure if you wanted to.

She doesn't use child support for your well-being. Probably uses it to continuously feed her crippling gambling addiction and buy more pointless flowers for the apartment.

You were nervous about today. You'd never been the new girl before—and you didn't know what to expect about these kids. You doubted they were as cool as people as Larry and Sal.

You showered and put on your boyfriend jeans—which had holes in the knees, but you couldn't bother to concern yourself whether or not that conflicted with the dress code or not— and your light grey hoodie. You added a flannel on top of that which was a little too big for you. Don't forget the white sneakers which you should probably replace.

You pocketed your flip phone and slung your bag over your shoulder. Stopping in front of the mirror, you passed a hand through your hair, decided it was adequate, and walked into the kitchen. You grabbed an apple—you never really found yourself hungry in the mornings. Besides, it wasn't like your mother was around to make sure you were fed—and left the apartment.

You locked the door behind you and shoved the keys into the front pocket of your bag afterward.

You met with Sal and Larry at the foot of the front steps of the apartments, like you'd agreed the day prior. You couldn't help but feel a little nervous as you opened the door and walked down the three stairs.

"Hey!" Larry greets you first.

"Hey, Larry," you smile weakly, as you're not fully awake yet, but it still means as much as a smile you'd give him when you were awake. You turn your eyes to Sal, waving shortly. You were momentarily startled when you realized he'd already been looking at you. "Hi, Sal."

"Hey," he says your name pleasantly. "How are you feeling?"

It was sweet that he was concerned about your well-being. "Alright. My lungs hurt."

He hooked a thumb around the strap of his bag and slid it up and down. His hands were pale and veiny. His nails were painted black and the polish was chipped in a few places. "Yeah. You did a shit-ton of coughing."

You open your mouth to reply, but before you can he meets your eyes. His head is inclined slightly downward, tilted a bit. He peers at you through the shadows of the mask. Lash-fringed, blue angel eyes bore through yours.

His eyes are opalescent. It's almost as if every time you look at them they were a different shade of blue.

You're sure your gazes hadn't connected for more than 3 seconds but the feeling that spawns inside of you from that short contact is slightly jarring. You don't necessarily comprehend what is stirring in your gut and you don't have time to because Larry's speaking breaks through your reverie.

He begins to talk about the chaos the first day of school would be. You quickly forget what had happened before.

But nothing had happened. It was nothing.

When you'd arrived at school after a little bit of walking, you, Larry, and Sal received your schedules together.

"Fuck me," you murmur, mostly to yourself, as you look down at your paper. "Math is first. This always happens to me."

Larry laughs loudly. "Yeah. That does suck. Mrs. Packerton looks like a walking corpse."

Sal jerks his head upward from his schedule. "That's fucked, Larry. She's an old lady."

"I don't care. Pretty sure she's secretly evil anyway."

Sal looks as though he's done reasoning with how harshly true Larry is most of the time. He shakes his head and looks back at you. "Well, if it's any consolation—I've also got math first. So, you know. We could go together," he pauses. "If you want."

You grin. "Yeah. Sure. At least I'll know someone there."

Larry flicks his eyes between the both of you before stopping them on Sal. "Hopefully you won't have Travis again," His eyebrows twitch. "He always has math first."

"Travis?" You echo curiously.

The two boys exchange a glance.

"Just a guy we know who-" Sal starts, hurrying to finish the sentence.

He was rushing so Larry wouldn't cut in and say something but it happened before he even had a chance. "He's a little fucker we know who gives Sal shit. 24/7. He makes my blood boil."

You furrow your eyebrows. "What- why? What's wrong with him?"

"Nothing," Sal replies. "Pretty sure he's really troubled. Not unlike the rest of us."

"Doesn't mean he should take it out on other people." Larry scoffs. "I know it bothers you, dude."

Sal doesn't reply—seems as though he's growing uncomfortable speaking about all of it.

"Hey, guys!"

A voice calls, having grown closer halfway through her sentence. You all turn towards it. A girl, leggy and taller than both you and Sal, with long locks and eyes greener than a spring clover. There was something homey in the way her chocolate brown hair brought warmth to her features.

A boy is beside her, with ginger hair with eyes a deep shade of the richest earth. His skin is pale and freckled. He carries himself with an air of bluntness and just a little bit awkwardly—his facial expression is very blank, you note.

"Hey, Ash. Shocked you aren't late," Larry grins.

"Ash" rolls her eyes at him and mirrors his expression. "You know Todd would never let that happen."

"No, I wouldn't." Todd deadpans.

Ash turns toward you after laughing enough to flash the white gleam of her teeth and a slight dimple in her cheek. "Hey!" She then says your name prettily and juts out her hand. "Nice to meet you. I'm Ashley."

You don't ask her how she knows your name. Instead, you sincerely smile, take her hand and shake it. "Nice to meet you," you return, and then turn toward Todd. "You, too."

Todd is already an interesting character. He doesn't smile but his expression is cordial. "Welcome to Nockfell."

Your smile widens.

"Have you guys gotten your schedules yet?" Sal speaks up after having been quiet for a moment. He must've been reading over his schedule to himself.

"Oh! Yeah," Ashley opened her other hand, the one she hadn't shaken your hand with, and unfolded a now very crumpled piece of paper. She passed summer green over the list. "I've got biology."

Todd didn't even look at his list. "I have history."

Sal looks at you. His gaze easily levels with yours. "Looks like it's just me and you then."

Your face feels hot. "Haha," you suddenly feel nervous. "You're right. Sit beside me, okay?"

His eyebrows jump—that much you can tell by the way his eyes move. Tucking a strand of loose blue hair behind his ear, he replies: "Will do."

His ears are double pierced.

The bell's shrill ringing floods the halls. You wince, and you and Sal's eye contact is broken. Before that happens, though, you see Larry grinning to himself.

Weirdo, you think lightheartedly.

Everyone parts after that. Larry and Ash walk away together. They must both have biology, you thought. Todd leaves by himself to his respective class and you and Sal head towards math.

For a moment, the silence is unbearable. You've never been alone with a boy. Well, you weren't alone, just not in a group with other people. The noiselessness begins to bother you so you fleetingly think of something to say and blurt the first thing that comes to mind.

"The piercings," you say suddenly.

He turns his head toward you. You look up to him before looking straight. "What?"

Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god, you thought. All I do is make a mockery of myself.

"I like them!" you add, hurriedly. "They're pierced twice. That's really cool. Looks good on you."

He laughs shyly. "Thanks. I like your shoes."

"My shoes?" You look down and laugh. They were so worn. "Why?" You continue to giggle. "They're falling apart at the seams, haha."

"That's the best kind of shoe," he retorts. He jerks his chin towards his sneakers, a muted shade of cornflower blue. "Look at mine. They barely fit and they're- like, super constricting. Also super ratty—but I can't seem to get rid of them."

You laugh with him. "They look better than mine, at least."

You're glad the ice was broken so fast. You liked him.

The class was boring and uninteresting as any math class would be. You do work. You glance over at Sal a few times throughout the class—not to cheat, just to see how he was fairing—and he was writing answers down with a quick response time and humble confidence within the drawl of his handwriting.

Alright, so he was smart. Not much of a surprise there. You could tell just how perceptive of a boy he was.

You stared hopelessly at an answer on your sheet you'd yet to fill out and twirled the pencil around in your fingers.

Suddenly, a pale hand with black nails has nimbly reached over and hastily circled what you assume was the correct answer to the question with his pencil. You look up to Sal in surprise and appreciation, who's already back in his seat as if nothing had happened.

You giggle before you can stop yourself when he raises a hand and raises a finger in front of the prosthetic's mouth, to tell you "shh."

Mrs. Packerton slowly pivots away from the chalkboard and passes her eyes over the class. You and Sal quickly break eye contact and look down on your papers. Sal's shoulders shake in your peripheral vision and you press your knuckles to your lips and force a bored expression on your paper.

Before the bell rang, you noticed a blond boy with tan skin and caramel eyes in front of you and Sal, occasionally shooting your friend bitter looks. It left a sour taste in your mouth, but you didn't mention it.

You find Ash and Larry before your next class. You think you've burst a blood vessel from how hard you'd laughed when you left the classroom.

"I thought I'd cracked a rib," Sal states over your laughter. as you walked up to Larry and Ashley.

Larry and Ashley exchange a look. Larry is the first to state the obvious. "What the hell happened to you two?"

You and Sal look toward each other and make eye contact. That's the last straw. You cover your mouth and try and hold it in.

"I-" Sal inhales. "It doesn't matter," he breathes out, an amused lilt in his tone. "How was class?"

"Bad," Larry and Ashley reply, in synchronization.

"Really?" You ask, surprised. "Biology can be fun."

"This biology isn't," Ashley sighs. "Not when you're just staring at cells and organisms for 20 minutes and then being expected to do work on it and understand what's happening."

"Well, math wasn't any better," you reply. "If it's any consolation—I don't think I got any answers right except for the one Sal did for me."

"I thought math was fine," Sal chimes in.

"That's because you're fucking Albert Einstein reincarnate," Larry squints. "Please have mercy on our mortal souls, Math God."

"Oh my god," Sal looks down. "Please don't make this into another nickname."

"I like it!" Ashley grins.

You know they're teasing but you can't find it in you to join in after he helped you out in class. Instead, you resign into silence and watch as countless students filter through the halls, bumping into each other as they pass and chatting with their peers.

Through the crowd, at the far end of the hall, you see him. The blond boy who'd been eying Sal in class. He was looking at him in the same way he had been then, with threat and resent shadowing his polished amber eyes.

It looks as if he's readying himself to approach.

You glance toward Larry, Sal, and Ashley. They seem occupied well enough, so you slip into the crowd and head towards who you've now pieced together to be: "Travis," you state, as you stand in front of him. "That's you, right?"

He regards you with distaste. "Do I know you?"

You suck your teeth. "No," you tell him your name. "I came to ask you something."

Despite himself and his embitterment, his eyes shine with hesitant curiosity. You take that as your answer. In spite of his stance over you and his general advantage of being bigger, you hold his gaze with blunt intent.

"What were you planning on doing when you walked over?"

"Why do you fucking care what I do?"

You shrug. "I don't know, Travis. I just think you need to learn how to pick your battles."

"Pick my fucking battles.. you know what? I think I will go over there-"

As he takes a step forward, you raise your hand and your palm roughly hits his chest, stopping him in his tracks—not because of strength (he's at an advantage, and he could easily walk right through) but because of the views he had, or rather—the views pushed upon him.

You saw the golden cross swinging off of his neck as soon as you approached. You'd also seen the gnarly black eye he wore on his face.

It was safe to assume he was being beaten at home and by a parent. And, most of the time.. when an adult is religious they will use several methods to further push it upon their child. Like sinner's guilt. And abuse.

If Travis' extremely religious guardian were to ever find out he'd harmed a girl, especially under the eyes of many others—it wouldn't turn out very well for him.

Yes, maybe you were being manipulative. But you were being manipulative for the good of both Sal and Travis.

"Step down," you advised. "This won't go very well."

You steadily meet his eyes. The stare between the two of you lasts for an even amount of time. Finally, he breaks that contact, jerks away with you, huffs, and walks his way around you and down the hall.

After that, you returned with the excuse of exchanging books from your locker, after Larry had asked you where you had wandered off to. No one seemed to have noticed Travis standing ominously at the end of the hall or your altercation with him.

At the end of school, you were beat. You said goodbye to both Ashley and Todd. Afterward, you, Larry, and Sal head for Addison's Apartments.

"You know, we don't have to go home yet," you say.

The boys turn to you curiously, as you kick a pebble as you walk along the side of the road. The beginnings of the sunset blossom in the sky—orange and fruity like tangerine jelly and amaranth pink like homemade strawberry frosting. like home. It fills you up inside and makes you feel so sweet.

"You guys wanna see a movie?"

Larry grins. "We don't have money."

"Who says we need money?"

When you'd arrived at the movie theater, all three of you had circled to the side exit. After a few moments of waiting suspiciously, an older couple exited through the doors. Larry caught the handle before it closed, and you brushed past them and quickly entered the theater. Before the doors closed, you heard them mumbling about "pesky children," or something.

Once you'd gotten in, you scanned each screening room and what movie the doors said it was playing.

You and Sal decided on a scary movie. Larry was not amused. Whatsoever. Apparently, horror is not his thing.

Before you entered, you frowned.

"We have no popcorn.."

In moments, Larry was reaching into a nearby trash can and pulling out an empty bucket that improbably had popcorn inside of it at some point in time. He then walked away, holding this empty popcorn bucket. It was so bizarre and you would have laughed had not been extremely confused.

"What.." Sal murmured, looking to you. "You think he'll come back?"

"I don't know where he would even be coming back from," You admitted.

It wasn't very long until he'd returned, with the empty bucket he'd taken from the trash now full of popcorn.

"Mandatory free refills," He said to your baffled face, pointing toward the poster on the wall above the trash can which read exactly what he'd just said. "You can never forget the hustle, kids."

"Oh my god," Sal mumbled and you barely heard him beneath Larry's laughter.

The movie was horribly made, and it still somehow scared the shit out of Larry. It may as well have been a comedy with how hard you'd laughed. Multiple other people in the theater had told you to shut Larry up but that was impossible when he was screaming every time a shadow would come on screen or the scene would change.

You, being between Larry and Sal, originally thought you'd had the best seat. You were wrong. Not only was Larry cowering into you and screaming directly in your ear, but Sal had simultaneously begun to throw popcorn at Larry's face to shut him up. That only resulted in popcorn. All over.

Needless to say, you left before the movie ended because of the fear of being escorted out by the employees.

"I'm never seeing a movie with you again," Sal squinted towards Larry. The three of you were now on the way back to the apartments. The night was thick and pearly moonlight bounced off old the white of his prosthetic face. "I think my eardrums are bleeding."

"It's the horror movies! This isn't my fault. Both of you ganged up on me and chose it."

You giggled to yourself.

Sal, beside you, suddenly stopped. "Wait, Y/N."

You stopped, and Larry halted a few feet away, as he'd been walking a bit ahead. Sal leaned forward and reached toward your face. Your body felt as though it had been zapped and you stood still.

He reached into your hair and pulled out a piece of popcorn.

"Huh." You said, dumbly. "How'd that get there?"

Larry's approaching footsteps were fast and leggy. He reached into Sal's hand, plucked the piece of popcorn between his fingers and fucking ate it.

"Jesus Christ, I can't do this anymore," Sal shook his head.

"What? It looked okay."

Recovering quickly from whatever had happened to you, you laughed.

You also inwardly denied what your body was feeling because you knew it was much too soon.

#sally face #sally face x reader #sal fisher x reader

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