Goretober VII: Pas-tell Me About It
The concept of this was a crack idea I had on a whim but I feel like it turned out better than I expected lmao so enjoy the @coyotehusk goretober content 🤪
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Ingredients: yes i really did pastel gore in writing, vivisection, beheading, body horror vibes, emeto mention
Honestly, Castys was starting to get kinda bored of vivisection. Like, wow, there were his guts. They’re the same as the last eight times he saw them. Spice it up for once, why don’t you?
Somehow, Kuro must have read his mind, and he really regretted wishing for something different.
What she brought over after cutting him open wasn’t a knife or a hammer or a chisel, no needles or hooks, just…paint. “We already did the art class bit, didn’t we? What’re you gonna do with those?”
Kuro laughed as she dipped her paintbrush into a glob of light purple. “I’m going to paint, of course. You’ll just have to come up with more jokes.” Castys sighed, sort of watching as she started to brush the paint over his ribs. This was fucking stupid. Who the hell even thought of painting someone’s literal organs? And, like, why? Why the fuck? And as always, despite the awful bizarreness of his situation, he couldn’t do much of anything about it. He just had to lie there as she turned his bones purple. Well, not all of his bones, thankfully, just some.
His lungs were pale blue. It was always strange to watch them move as he breathed, swelling and shrinking. Smirking, he breathed in and out as quickly as he could, causing Kuro to smudge blue paint on his ribs. She slapped him pretty hard for that, but it was worth it. Not enough to do it again, though, so he kept his breathing steady for the remainder of the time she spent on his lungs.
His liver was pastel green. Green made him think about plants, which made him think about how long it’d been since he went outside. He’d been stuck in this same stupid torture room the whole time since he got kidnapped, and not even seeing the sun was starting to weigh on him a bit. It was the sort of thing he didn’t appreciate as much as he should until it was gone, but at least it wasn’t gone for good. He’d be able to go outside again…someday.
His stomach was a muted yellow. At least this didn’t hurt in itself, just the standard pain from being torn open like a candy wrapper. He missed having candy, and the fucking blood vomit chocolate did not count. Even water would be nice, too, just to wash the taste of blood out of his mouth, but why bother when he didn’t need it to live? Who cares if he felt the pain from hunger and thirst?
His large intestine was a faded orange. Being cut open like this was cold, both because he wasn’t wearing anything besides shorts and because he’d lost quite a bit of blood from the whole process. Oh, and his organs weren’t fucking insulated against the open air, which was probably actually what was making him so cold. Was he gonna end up dying from hypothermia? His fingers and toes were sort of numb, now that he thought about it. Hopefully if he died she wouldn’t start this all over again.
His small intestine was…pink. It was already pink, and Kuro was painting it a different shade of pink, which seemed stupid, but then again this whole thing was very stupid. At least this was probably almost over, since he didn’t have any more large visible organs left, as far as he could tell. What the fuck was she gonna do when she was done? The paint was going to stay inside him if he died, and he’d rather not get poisoned by it over and over or something.
“Alright, I’m all done! I want you to see, but I feel like you won’t really be able to appreciate it from there.”
“From-what the fuck does that mean? Am I supposed to-oh.”
Kuro hefted the ax, tentacles removing the strap over his neck but keeping his head in place. “Just hold still for a second.”
When Castys came back to life, he was lying on the cold stone floor. He sat up and rubbed his neck, wincing when he felt blood. He really, really didn’t want to stand up and see his old body, still strapped to the table and painted, but Kuro pulled him up by the hair and yanked his hands behind his back with her tentacles when he tried to resist. So he had to look.
It was his corpse, he knew it was, but it didn’t look like him in the slightest. His head was fucking gone, for one, since Kuro had chopped it off and caused him to regenerate a new body from it, which is why he’d left this one behind and didn’t heal it. And the organs were…something. Pastel colors like that didn’t belong inside a person like that, softening the glisten of their organs, almost making them look like candy, something oddly beautiful and disgusting at the same time. He wanted to take a hammer or something to it and destroy it, wash all those colors out in red. Then he could believe it was his body.
“Well, Castys, what do you think?”
“I think you’re the most batshit fucking insane person I’ve ever met.”
“I’ll take it.”
Next→
Castys Cult: @as-a-matter-of-whump @blackrosesandwhump @fanmanga1357-blog @thehopelessopus @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @hearse-song @muddy-swamp-bitch @whumpasaurus101 @yet-another-heathen @galaxywhump @starnight-whump @his-unspoken-words @misspelledwitch @suspicious-whumping-egg @pumpkin-spice-whump @painsandconfusion @i-can-even-burn-salad @befuddled-calico-whump @whumpinggrounds @whump-queen @whumpedydump
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JUSTICE LEAGUE ROMANCE TROPES.
characters written about in this piece: bruce wayne, clark kent, diana prince, barry allen, oliver queen, dinah lance
note : i LOVED this idea so much i literally like it is literally 5 in the morning i wrote it in an hour i was so hyped !! hopefully it was what you were asking for, thanks for requesting !
BRUCE WAYNE — grumpy x sunshine
okay you guys saw this coming. he's literally batman, and there's a lot of debate about whether or not batman is the real persona,, so NATURALLY i think a grumpy x sunshine thing would go well with him. i did also read somewhere that his sexuality is villains, but who says a villain can't be happy go lucky ???? wait because i literally feel a fic coming up... batman x golden retriever!villain like... ????? but it's like, batman / bruce is known as just this rain cloud, no emotion, but with you he just melts and his heart grows warm, as does his tough exterior. he's used to having a family now, going through failed relationships (whore lol) but meeting you is just different. has he been dating the wrong people all his life ?
CLARK KENT — strangers to lovers
a romance blossoms with clark as a chance encounter. two tired office workers caught in the rain, the bus is late, they agree to flag down a taxi and share one together, but fuck you've forgotten your wallet (just your luck) so clark insists it's okay that he can pay, but you're not leaving that easy, you ask for his business card so you can call him when you're free to pay him back (you say you'll pay him half, but you actually pay him full). when you meet him again, you either ask to meet halfway at a park somewhere, or go up to the daily planet. "just in case a situation like this ever happens again" clark asks for your card too, but instead just calls you one night as you're eating a takeaway in front of your tv to (really shyly) ask you if you're seeing anyone and if you'd like him to take you out sometime :)))
DIANA PRINCE — "who did this to you?"
I JUST SCREAMed at protective!diana LIKE ???? i was going through pinterest looking for ideas to help and i saw this microtrope and i was like yes this is the one. like imagine heavily injured / on the brink of death, laying in a hospital bed or in the infirmary of the jl station, and your lover ( / friend / enemy / ????? ) diana storms in maddd as hell and shés like "who did this to you??? are you okay??? what happened??? more importantly who tf hurt you ????" so you tell her, and she spends some time with you, but as soon as your eyes begin to droop closed, she is Gone. diana isn't one to kill i don't think, she tries to see the good in everybody, but this person hurt you. maybe death isn't what's coming for them, but she'll make sure it counts.
BARRY ALLEN — best friends to lovers
what better way to form a romantic relationship with someone, than through a platonic friendship with them? barry knows you like the back of his hand, you know him like the back of yours. you've watched each other go through relationship after relationship, always wondering why your heart droops at the news of a new person in the mix, slightly altering your dynamic, but pings up again once it finds out the relationship had sizzled out. there was something aching between you, but that was just what friendships were like, right ? so why didn't you feel it with anyone else ? it turned into something more when external people began noticing too, asking if you were already dating,, and it became more obvious that perhaps your friendship could be something else.
OLIVER QUEEN — flirt x oblivious
ollie queen is a crippling flirt. he's used to a mere wink sending the ladies whirling, add an "oh yeah?" to the end of his sentence and he can see the dust of a blush along someone's cheeks. he knows the ins and outs. so why can't he flirt with you ??? WHY WONT YOU BLUSH ??? OR EVEN FLIRT BACK ??? you're oblivious !!!! he will compliment your appearance, the way you fight in battle, the way you spar (and purposely pin you down, but get off with a huff when you chuckle and say he's got you down already, no need to keep you there). he starts spending so much time with you, offering himself up to go on patrol / missions just so he can spend time bugging you. but it starts getting too much, until he realises he can't say a word around you. why is he getting tongue tied ?? he doesn't ?? oh god *gag* he.. likes you ???? it isn't until now, with him being more nervous around you, beginning to actually avoid you, that you start to notice.
DINAH LANCE — rivals to lovers
when i say rivals i don't mean properly pitting against each other, not by any means,, i mean say you're also in the justice league as well, a hero, whatever you like,,,, whenever you're put together on a mission together, it's a competition between who can take out the most bad guys, save the most innocents, who gets there the fastest etc. it's technically friendly bants but there's some competitiveness behind it that isn't exactly fake. you're friends / acquaintances for sure, but what happens when a kiss is on the stakes ??? "person who takes out the most of joker's henchmen gets a kiss from the winner"
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ofmd s2e4 rewatch where i pause to jot down my thoughts and other random shit
it's been a busy week since last thursday and shit's only gonna get busier for me after tomorrow so hopefully i can get through these two episodes out before i go to bed lol!!! anyway once again these posts are just me rambling so i can process the insane amount of information in these episodes and if u want to read them too that's fine.
s2e1, s2e2, s2e3, s2e4, s2e5, s2e6, s2e7, s2e8
rip everyone who wanted homoerotic sword fighting in the gentebeard reunion. have a headbutt as a consolation prize.
obsessed with stede holding raw room-temperature meat against his bruised face bc that's not even a little bit how that works. i love this show.
ok so jim saying "he'll probably get around to killing you after he's rested" in response to stede saying ed needs to regain his strength actually gives some pretty good context to why they want ed of the ship so bad. bc they DID fully try to kill ed and now he's here and alive and like. if i were jim i would be pretty worried abt ed holding a grudge abt that.
wont lie stede being like "we dont just banish people, that's not us!" makes me thinkg abt how they fully banished izzy from the ship in e6. i mean technically izzy banished himself on accident but. lol.
also izzy's absence in this scene indicating he is not yet considered part of the entire crew
roach: i need that steak back, it's dinner
stede: (pulling the steak away) oh, right
fang: maybe let's put the banishment to a vote?
stede: (steak back on his face, apparently having forgotten he was literally just about to give the meat to roach) aw do we have to :(
ed chained to the ship is doing. a lot for me. i wont lie.
buttons saying he's been to the gravy basket a few times... how many times has this man almost died??????
it is deeply funny to me that they edit the split second flashback of the drowning and mermaid hallucination to look all creepy as if that whole scene wasn't set to an incredibly sappy 80's love song (said with immense affection)
OBSESSED with stede trying to be like. encouraging to izzy. and being like "he cant hear you he's got no head" about izzy yelling at the ruined figurehead. this fucking dork.
so ive seen ppl talking abt how the crew's in a deadlock abt banishing ed and which ppl they think were pro-banishment and which were against, but the scenes with the crew make it look like everyone's voting for ed to get kicked out. so tbh i think like either of the following interpretations are pretty valid: the crew is split 50/50 on if they should banish ed OR the crew 100% wants to banish ed and stede was gonna try and leverage izzy's vote to try and get more ppl to change their mind. doesnt rlly matter either way tho
also the fact that izzy was the one to keep ed's body is. interesting. the others must've known abt it and helped izzy hide the body in the secret room. but izzy being the one to be like "no we're not throwing him overboard" is. something. no conclusions abt this atm im just rotating this fact in my brain.
i also just have a lot of thoughts abt the mutiny and the fact that like, jim's a trained assassin and the others are also pretty experienced killers and they probably knew they hadn't completely finished the job. and there was plenty of opportunity for them to do something about that. but instead they hid his body and waited for ed to succumb to his injuries. it feels kinda like ed's "technically i outsource the big job" rule. idk. thoughtssss.
frenchie in this scene is so funny bc he seems both actually apologetic abt kicking ed off the ship but also very relieved/vindicated to see him go.
didnt realize olu almost said smthng to ed lol i thought ed was just saying "fuck you" to him for no reason ghfjkghjkfh
"first time i've ever been on this side of a walk of shame" wee john i have so many questions. how many times have you been banished from a ship.
obsessed with archie just being like "way to make this awkward brah." her shitty boss put her life at risk in an attempt to make her and her coworkers kill him in a weird roundabout suicide attempt and her summary of the situation is "well, this is awkward :/"
"shitty sailing with you" sick burn, jim
"you're making it really hard to look up to you, man" LOVE how black pete is still a blackbeard stan. despite everything.
just ONCE i want someone to appreciate roach's sandwiches :(
"dont you want your sammy" STEDE I WOULD DIE FOR YOU
also i disagree with the subtitles here im like 99% sure says "you're no fuckin mermaid" not "you're not a fuckin mermaid" but that's just me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
stede looks SO sad abt not being a mermaid
love how everyone in this episode just sort of nods and is like "yeah okay" every time buttons tells them he's turning into a bird
altho with stede in this scene specifically im convinced that he's just jumping at the chance to follow ed to the island. he was absolutely gonna come up with some shitty excuse to go ashore anyway but it's nice of buttons to give him plausible deniability
i love how much ed hates nature
why do the subtitles say "gyp-" this has been bothering me all week. the line is "like a drifter"
i also love ed's line delivery of "a wolf?"
anyway dumb posts abt the spider tattoo backstory: 1, 2, 3
i love to see ed getting hugs... wish i could give him a hug :(
ok also buttons talking abt the gravy basket made me think ed needed like some sort of spell or smthng to snap out of it but instead it just kinda wore off by the end of the episode (maybe, depends on how you read the whole buttons turning into a bird scene). this is very funny to me for some reason
anne rubbing the cup she's holding against her tit. queen.
stede bonnet idiot dumbfuck moments
i LOVE anne's line delivery of "eddie motherfuckin teeeeach" like yeah that's cj's girl alright. or was cj's girl. who knows.
SECRET HANDSHAKE im cryinggggg. i love them.
stede's voice sounds so weird when he says "i wasn't looking for you" and that's because he's fucking lying through his teeth
LOVE how anne and mary look at each other after the "shipmates" "former" interaction like they are immediately on the same wavelength. and that wavelength is fucking with ed and his ex. they sniffed out a messy relationship dynamic and were like "oh hell yeah we need more of this in our lives"
ed is SO bitchy this whole scene i fucking love it. ed's face when he says "him?" fdhjksgfjhdgkj
ed: whatever 🙄
anne: whatever? 👀
mary: whatever! 😈
wee john getting more goth is so good
drunk izzy rambling at the ship's figurehead is so funny to me tho i miss drunk izzy
ed's crew lady macbeth "out damned spot" moments
i like how there's a goat in the background of this scene in anne and mary's house and it is unexplained and also never seen again.
ed's face after stede says "that's romance" is soooo good this bitch is so pissed. like oh would you have met me at the docs if i peeled the guard's face off instead of just paying him off? is that what fuckin does it for you???? not that it matters bc i dont care. but. cunt.
yeah im just focusing in on all of ed's faces in this scene. "quite the shift going from wearing people's faces to antique collectors" gets ed to freeze in the middle of bringing his drink up to his lips and just kinda stare off into the distance.
"how did you meet" has ed kind of frowning for a split second before stede starts answering and then he rolls his eyes very dramatically and sighs deeply
ed immediately being like "actually i was gonna kill him myself!" trying to undermine stede's meet-cute story. also anne and mary nodding along in complete unison bc this is just normal pirate conversation to them.
~~~
also as someone who has been team "no ed was dead serious abt the plan to steal stede's identity" this was very vindicating for me. it's a bad plan and it doesn't make any sense but logistics literally dont matter in this show. what matters is giving this story the "falling for the mark" trope makes ed's character arc in season 1 that much tastier!!!!
ed and stede going back and forth telling their story i cant fucking wait until theyre happily together telling this story and instead of ed trying to downplay it and ruin the meet-cute-iness of it they're just building on each other and being sappy and adorable
"more like i relented" one of the biggest lies i've ever heard this man say fjhkgjkfdhk
"until he completely boned it" SAY IT. FUCKING SAY IT. SOOOOO TRUE ED.
auauhghgh the beard bit......... crying
THE!!!!! QUIETEST LITTLE "thank you" OF ALL TIME. TIED MAYBE WITH ED SAYING "thank you" AFTER "i think you're very sophisticated" IN 1.05
i dont blame stede for trying to get ed to open up right after that bc that was the first bone ed's thrown stede's way since he woke up. unfortunately ed is not in the mood to talk abt his near-death experience and mermaid hallucination sequence.
LOVE anne's little gesture when she says "rabbit" and the little hip cocking
stede being like "uhhhh we could leave" during the knifeplay exhibitionism moment
i giggle every time at the way the crew is instantly like "fuck closing our eyes we're doing any fucking surprises"
ngl idgw the crew yelled abt the piñata reveal. but ok
loooove stede's half of the crew just blowing past all the screaming and tension from ed's half. jim screams "STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!!!" abt the blindfold and roach is like "you won't want to stay the fuck away from this caaaake!" like roach fdhsjfgdhfjkghkj read the room?????
i love how much stede just. completely misses all of annie's flirting
ed coughing during the blunt session i love himmmmm
ok but ed's trying to be like "im totally over stede i dont even like him" and then ed reminiscing fondly with a distant smile abt the 1.06 stabbing scene
"and that was the... second time you left your wife?" underrated line
love how annie's been all quiet and seductive and then when she goes to make her move she's just like "WOUND THIS" and aggressively sits in stede's lap
also ok. "they're gonna be so jealous" is that annie talking abt ed and mary or is that annie using they/them pronouns for mary.
BUTTONS JUMPSCARE
also i love how they have that one medusa painting just. in their kitchen. im obsessed with the interior decor of this lesbian antique store that annie and mary live in
the way she's so touched by the poisoning attempt hjfgfjksghskjhgjkh
buttons being like "aahhhhhh do i give her... this bowl......????" fhjkghkfsjhk
"yeah, babe" TEALORANGES WIN
im honestly sad izzy's pathetic wet beast moment only really went for like three tiny scenes in one episode bc this shit was so funny to me. crawling away saying "you're born alone you die alone" over and over again. sir what are you even doing.
god buttons in this episode is so fucking funny bc i keep forgetting he's there. also why is he even there. like was he even invited to dinner or did he just sit down and annie and mary were like "oh ok i uh. guess we'll go make another plate??"
ed's face after buttons says the bit abt "i can tell this rabbit was intelligent" is soooo funny why is he so fucking pissed fdhsjkgyjdfkghjk
NO WAIT HE'S PISSED BC THAT WAS HIS FRIEND. THAT WAS HIS FRIEND THE WOLF HE WAS TELLING HIS SECRETS. NOW IM KINDA SAD :(:(:(
stede talking abt the sea when what he's actually talking abt is ed part 2 electric boogaloo
ed very calmly. standing up. and smashing the chair. im obsessed with him.
stede bonnet stupid dumbass moments
IMPROMPTU BLANKET FORT TIME
ed's voice is so quiet at the start of this scene he's not even yelling at stede until stede says "it's not fair" ohhhhhh my babygirl is so fucking sad........
"you ditching me without a note or anything" ed's literacy confirmed
"expecting me to just melt back into your arms" eddie my man. stede has not given literally any indication that he expected this at all. you are telling on yourself fhdjskghfkjshd
this scene is so fucking good i barely have anything to say abt it. just. u can rlly tell david jenkins wrote this ep himself lolll
"i was all in, mate. i was all in." IM SOBBING
oh nooooo i forgot that ed's line delivery of "im sorry my horrible naked chin disgusts you so much" isnt actually as sarcastic as the words itself make it seem. like it feels like ed wanted to say that all angrily and bitter but instead he just sounds sadddddd
ok ok but the way stede says "i love your chin naked or otherwise" and then after a pause (during which ed is keeping INCREDIBLY still bc u know otherwise he's just gonna burst into tearssss) stede whispers "ed" and ed is immediately like "don't" and then. stede going in for the "i love you" but like the way he's so slow with it?? he's literally like "i. love." and idk if it's bc he's trying to make this as clear as possible or if he's giving ed enough time to cut him off if he doesn't want to hear it
and ed DOES he DOES cut him off with "you don't get to say that to me" and he like. keeps glancing at stede out of the corner of his eye but not quite looking at him directly bc he knowwwwws it's like staring into the sun baby and ed knows if he looks at stede's face it's literally all over.
but also ed's face after stede pivots to "i love everything about you" he's SO pissed. he quietly groans and rolls his eyes bc this bitch. finding stupid loopholes to not being allowed to say "i love you." fuck this guy ed hates him so fucking much (lying)
oooooh when stede says "you don't have to say it back to me" ed's mouth opens and closes a bit before "not about to" bc this man is trying. SO hard not to cry (so am i but it's not working sorry there are tears on my face right now)
idk idk idk smthng abt "it's nice. feels good." makes me hurt so fucking bad bc the entire time since ed's woken up stede's been getting headbutted and snarked at passive-aggressively but stede's still like "i love being near you it makes me happy :)" brb i need. a fucking moment.
honestly tho how did annie and mary even overhear that bit bc they were on the other side of the room and stede was whispering SO quietly. opposite of when ppl in this show dont hear things despite the things being said like two feet away from them (1.03 geraldo and jackie talking abt how blackbeard was looking for stede, 2.01 zheng saying the indigo was worth way more than she spent on it)
LOVE how anne being like "stede likes the ladies" is how ed figures out "ohhhh wait ok theyre just fucking with us, got it" bc this guy??? liking women????? lmao
this also HAS to be why he gets over mary like his brain mustve gone "wait hang on why the fuck would he go back to her he doesn't even like women. guess maybe he really did panic huh" hdjksghfckghkjsh
obsessed with these TINY tiny details abt the ed/jack/annie/mary polycule dynamics we're given. ed would've expected as much from annie bc she's a fucking psycho. mary apparently used to not be like this. im putting the pieces together im connecting the dots.
ed and stede's knowing smug looks at each other. im obsessed.
annie being rlly sensitive to the word "bitch" im considering that more hints abt the polycule backstory
yayy fanny newspaper
"really? i mean she stabbed you, you poisoned her, and then she jumped on my face" stede this is all part of their very elaborate and deeply toxic sex life ok stop kinkshaming them
~~~
curious if ed and stede are too distracted by mary spelling out their worst fears to comment on all the smoke coming into the room
"everything must go" like a fucking clearance sale. this is such a silly line. this is a silly show. i love it here.
WHY DONT THEY MAKE OUT SLOPPY STYLE HERE THO
wait are they crying while they hug??? bro these girls are so fucking messy i love them
ed saying "see you guys" before he leaves them in their burning house. i would die for him
ok team arts and craft time while making a prosthetic for izzy. obsessed with how the b plot of this episode is literally "the crew struggles to get along but they eventually set aside their differences and work together when they realize there's someone even more cringe and pathetic than any of them"
"YOU ARE!!! HARASSING A CRIPPLE!!!!!!" is suchhhh a funny line im sorry im gonna miss izzy at his lowest fhsjkhjksf. literally they just knocked on the door my dude calm downnnn
obsessed with izzy being genuinelly touched and expressing it by saying "fucking cocksuckers." this man is allergic to having feelings.
stede and ed painfully talking over each other bc everything is awkward and difficult. i love them.
ed's face when stede offers to let ed stay. his very quiet "yis." the way he says "might be nice" and then VERY QUICKLY looks away
stede yelling GREAT at the top of his lungs fhdsjkguydfgfjkhl
i love when these guys try to play it cool bc theyre so fucking bad at it hgdfgvjfxdkgjjdkkgjhfdkh
stede bonnet dumb idiot moron moments
ed staring off lovinglyyyyyy
buttons jumpscare
also is that fucking sage. are we doing cultural appropriation here
buttons saying "Earth Wind and Fire i wanna go higher" hfjkhgfdjkhgjkh
i love how ed. does not question this "fuck yeah, brother. fly."
ed teach lovesick fool moments
i love how happy ed sounds telling stede abt buttons he sounds like his old goofy self for the first time all season.... im gonna cry
also i like how the crew adopts izzy as their new creature. 10/10
post credits scene is annie and mary at dinner with buttons. i guess it's after stede goes to comfort ed but before they go eavesdrop on that convo.
buttons enjoying his last meal as a human. and also he's like "there's too much fucking on that ship i need to get away from it all." and his way of doing this is becoming a bird. love that.
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