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#so i decided to do a rough draft in MS paint
learnyouabiology · 1 year
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an EXTREMELY simplified graph of chordate evolution. I especially like how my generic non-primate tetrapod turned out!
(different colours are just to indicate that ancestral and extant examples are different species, technically)
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yumeka-sxf · 9 months
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Spy x Family Exhibition Pamphlet
I got my copy of the Spy x Family exhibition pamphlet! I wanted to make HD scans of some of the notable pages and try to translate if I can.
First off is this great "Main Character Correlation Chart" (sorry for my amateur editing, all I have is MS Paint!)
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I love how Bond has a different "bofu" (woof) for Loid and Yor!
Several of the pages show the creation process of the manga, starting with rough sketches to final drafts, using chapter 1 as an example. There were a lot of pages for this, so I just scanned the ones that showed the end of the chapter.
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Probably the most interesting pages of the pamphlet are the early character designs/concept sketches. Most of these have already been shared by @sy-on-boy on her post here, but I thought it'd be cool to have them in HD! Unfortunately, even with higher quality images it's very difficult to decipher Endo's handwriting. I could make out just a few words here and there, and Google Lens is very unreliable when the writing isn't clear.
The first page has early concepts for the Forger family, Loid, Anya, the WISE logo, and the Eden uniform.
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Things to note are that "Oscar" was a working name for Loid, as was "Yolanda" for Yor. What's also interesting is that a beta version of Franky is shown along with the Forgers. Unfortunately I can't make out the notes about him, but I think this has significance because of a sketch on the next page...
Most of the next page shows concept designs for Yor, with a section for Bond and Yor's coworkers on the bottom.
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However, what's really intriguing is the sketch in the upper right of the whole family, titled 疑似家族 (pseudo family).
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Once again, a Franky-looking character is with them, and he has the title "Uncle" (叔父) Was an uncle originally going to be part of the main Forgers? Was he actually related to Loid or Yor, or if that character did eventually become Franky, maybe he would just pretend to be Loid's brother? I can also make out the word "otaku" (オタク) in the notes for this character as well as "enjoying life" (人生を楽しんでる) Also in the notes for beta Yor it looks like 最強 (the best/strongest) and バカ (idiot/dummy) All I can make out for Loid's notes are 孤独 (loneliness) I think? And what's up with the older and more sinister looking Anya? She really looks like Ashe there. But these are all just early concept designs/notes so I wouldn't take them too seriously.
The next page titled "East and West During the Cold War" has concept designs for Franky, Yuri, Fiona (referred to as a female WISE spy), a male WISE spy, Melinda, and various assassins from the cruise arc.
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The first interesting thing to point out is the notes next to the very crudely drawn woman at the bottom of Yuri's concept designs. It says "Yuri's girlfriend?"(ユーリの 彼女?) though I can't make out clearly what the rest of it says. For the Franky designs, I could make out "tsukkomi or boke". So it looks like at some point Endo was deciding whether to make him more of a tsukkomi (straight man) or boke (wise guy) personality. There's also mention of giving him a high IQ (IQ高い). Also, the fact that the sketches include Melinda and the cruise arc assassins gives the impression that Endo had ideas for these story elements very early on.
But the character relationship chart in the lower left is really intriguing.
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I'm not sure how accurate these translations are so take them with a grain of salt, but they do make sense to me. But I have to wonder why Anya and Becky are connected to Desmond. For Becky, it could be because her family has ties to the Desmonds, but why Anya? Could the "mysterious institute/lab" she comes from have ties to Desmond too? Again, these could just be early concepts from ideas that Endo is no longer using, so best not to take them literally. Also, the lack of Shopkeeper/Garden in the character relationship charts, the concept art, and the exhibition overall, really does portray them as a "mysterious organization" that Endo perhaps didn't plan out until later in the series' development and is still trying to figure out. But as far as this sketch, I have to say that despite how terribly crudely drawn all their little heads are, it's easy to identify every character...proof of Endo's top notch character design skills!
Another sketch that stands out is on the same page...
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It's a very rough drawing of what appears to be either Loid holding Yor or Yor holding Loid with Anya next to them. But honestly it's such a rough drawing it could be any other parents+child. All I can make out of the text directly above is "My wife is stressed!? At this rate..." And the drawing next to it also appears to be two parents and maybe two children? I also have no clue what the "WJ4C 9/20, etc" at the top means. Very mysterious sketch, lol.
The next page has Eden related concepts, including Becky, Damian, George, and various teachers. The drawings in the bottom section appear to be an alternate/abbreviated version of how the Forgers met.
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Pretty funny that an image of Franky is covering what's supposed to be a sketch of Demetrius. The text from Franky says "I can't show you this information yet" which is pretty solid proof that Demetrius will make an appearance in the series eventually. There's also nicknames for Damian and Demetrius in the notes - "Dami" and "Demi."
Some notes on the Eden page says there's 2,000 students in the school, with 13 grades divided into 8 classes/houses. The chart on the left is a list of teacher names and their classes, all of which are given names of colors. None of the teacher names have been used so far in the series.
And all that's on the last page of sketches is a continuation of the previous page with the early concept of how the Forgers started (it honestly looks pretty cute, wish it wasn't just rough sketches). And the following section looks like drafts Endo did for promotional material.
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The final pages of the pamphlet are the new extra mission chapter which I already fully translated here.
And that's all I'm going to share for now from the pamphlet! I could spend more time trying to decipher the concept art notes but it was giving me a headache after a while, lol. But if anyone wants to try translating them, go ahead (I have higher quality png files of all the scans if needed...they were too big for Tumblr). And again, these sketches are just trial and error pre-serialization ideas that don't necessarily reflect Endo's final vision for the series, so I wouldn't dwell on them much other than for fun theorizing.
The pamphlet does have other interesting information, including an interview with Endo, a timeline of his work on Spy x Family and other manga, and his notes about random things from the series. So I might return to translating the pamphlet at a later date when I have time/motivation.
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finsterhund · 8 months
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I take my ADHD meds, this morning, why? Idk I forgot that my doctor said I should only take them when I want to focus on something.
I take weed gummy evening because it is too hot and I thought that it might improve my heat resistance but I stupidly forgot it also does things to my brain. I want to chew things so bad.
I extrapolate the radial perimeter of the possible area where my grandparents farmhouse could be located based on silly little personal anecdotes and geological survey information and by manually cut-copy-pasting the scale index from a map until I get the length I want because I cannot do math. I google the furthest distance the human eye can see before needing to account for the curvature of the Earth. This is the absolute furthest distance that someone in optimal conditions on the open prairie would be able to see. I google the conversion of that into meters because they fucking told me miles for some goddamn reason and because I cannot do math. I make sure the copypasted scale index is that length. Approximately though, because I cannot do math. In order to achieve this I made the map scale index pieces into sizeable chunks that I could keep track of the totaling length of by continuing my trick of cut copy and pasting them in equal length pieces. I put a piece of masking tape on my screen and measure it out so it is that length because I stupidly decided to do all of this in MS paint and I can't rotate my special furthest-human-vision-distance scale index line on an angle. My roommate interrupts me because he wants me to buy doordash and I clench my jaw so hard my teeth make a popping sound. The piece of tape makes it way harder to order from doordash and he changes what he wants after I've already selected it. I take the tape off. I accidentally throw the tape away but not before I fucking cropped my screenshot of the map out of the larger size of screenshot that I no longer need to worry about. I have the goddamn radius. And have a rough estimate of the full radial of possible land. Technically I only need to worry about south and west areas of this circle. not north and east. Because I know that it can only be west or southwest of the one landmark. I now have one quarter of radial section of land where the farmhouse could be located. It is shaped like a piece of pie. Or like the captain health circles from the HUD of Pikmin.
I then derail my entire brain because I'm looking at the map and "hahahaha road go brrrrrrrrrr" and my brain DEMANDS on VIBES ALONE that the little homestead right off of the road (when it go brrrrrrrrr) MUST be the place. Why? I don't fucking know. The Force? Subconscious memory? The Spot Power?
It falls inside the fucking radial quarter though. Jesus fuck. But then my fucking browser crashes and I loose all 38 of relevant tabs containing five different maps. Fucking screaming crying throwing up. I still had my fucking little mspaint documents though thank fuck. So I manually find it all again right at the spot where I was. Then I go to the place where road go brrrrrrrr
So I zoom in and
YEAH FUCK BRO DUDE I THINK ITS THE FUCKING HOUSE IT LOOKS LIKE A HOUSE AND IT HAS TREES WHERE I REMEMBER BEING TREES AND I SWEAR TO FUCK. I MEAN I CANT FUCKING FLY SO I DONT HAVE STRONG MEMORY OF BIRDSEYE VIEW OF THE HOUSE I THINK I SAW A PHOTO OF IT FROM THE AIR LIKE FUCKING ONCE BUT BASED ON THIS TINY ASS GRAINY LITTLE SATELITE IMAGE I FUCKING THINK THATS IT. IM NOT GOING TO ASSUME I KNOW THIS WITHOUT A SHADOW OF A DOUBT BECASUE THE UNIVERFSE LIKES TO FUCK ME SO IM GOING TO TRY AND GIVE FAIR ASSESSMENTS TO OTHER POSSIBLE SITES IN THE DERMINED AREA BUT MAN. HOLY SHIT.
My fucking browser keeps fucking crashing as I write this but turns out the only good thing about Tumblr site updates is that the auto draft feature seems to work. Sometimes. On desktop.
There is food here now but I am focusing 👀👀👀
I really need to eat though I fucking bought this with money not even technically in my bank yet I fucking deserve this wait a minute why the fuck didn't my roommate pay for the food? Also going camping on Monday.
So I think I may have finally found the farmhouse. 🥺🥺🥺🥺
I drew it on my phone because my computer crash again
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So, Guardian Chloe au:
For this au, Marianne and Fu either reconnected years earlier than in cannon, or never separated in the first place. With someone around for Fu to rely on (and to help him realize when hes moving from 'cautious' to 'paranoid'), he's more comfortable bringing more people into helping with the Miraculous stuff, and bc of that he's keeping an eye out not only for potential Black Cat and Ladybug weilders, but for a potential successor as well, who wouldn't be fighting on the front lines every single time if/when whoever has the Butterfly and Peacock Miraculous decides to start supervillain-ing.
Chloe is on the pretty short list of potential weilders and successors bc of her strong innate Magic that's compatible with most if not all of the Miraculous in the box Fu has, but since she's pre-cannon/S1 levels of character development, she's pretty low on the list. Then Origins happens, and when Fu is on his way to test Marinette and Adrien, his shoe breaks and he winds up tripping into the road as a car is coming for real. Luckily for him, he's pulled out of harm's way by none other than Chloe, who decided to walk to school that day in the hopes she would run into Adrien bc she knew he was going to try to get to school that day. She shows genuine concern for his wellbeing before getting back into her whole 'trying to be Audrey Jr to try and earn her mother's love' routine, but before she leaves she gives him some money to 'buy some not completely ugly shoes' and definitely not bc she doesn't want an old man with a cane to trip and hurt himself walking around with a broken sandal.
This brief interaction leads to Fu reconsidering Chloe as an option. He still gives Mari and Adrien the Ladybug and Black Cat respectively, but he starts looking into Chloe more, to try and see if the cracks in her act he saw were a fluke or if she would be a genuinely good Guardian, doing the same sort of background checking that he did with Marinette and Adrien.
And as for Chloe, her run-in with Stoneheart (especially the part when she was thrown off the side of the Eiffel Tower) and Hawkmoths reveal lead to her coming to the conclusion that purposefully upsetting people while a magic terrorist who uses negative emotions to turn people into supervillains is basically painting a target on her back. She starts on the road to redemption, moreso as a method of self-preservation at first, but as time goes on, and with some help from Ms Bustier (and maybe a classmate or two who've noticed her change in behavior and after finding what Chloe's doing offer to help with things like how to give complements without making them sound backhanded, little things like that that make a difference overall) Chloe starts changing for the better, and she realizes that she likes the way things are changing.
Fu and Marianne are seeing all of this from the sidelines, and also see her helping out with a few Akumas she's been caught up with. After Princess Fragrance happens (without Chloe tearing up Rose's letter of course) and the really close call of Tikki being sick and Chat getting mind-controlled without backup, Fu decides it's time to reach out to Chloe and start training her. The next Saturday, Chloe wakes up and finds a box in her bed that wasn't there the night before, and opens it to find the Fox Miraculous (picked that one since it's one that can be used from the sidelines instead of one that requires being super hands on) and Trixx gives a brief explanation about what the Fox Miraculous can do, and tells her that the Guardian of the Miraculous wants to meet her at the top of the Eiffel Tower later that night.
Chloe transforms and meets a transformed Fu at the right time and place, and he gives her a brief explanation about how he's the Guardian of the last Miracle Box, and that he wants to start training her as the next Guardian since he isn't going to be around forever. Chloe asks why he picked her of all people, bc she knows that she isn't a very good person, and Fu tells her that it's partially bc of her natural Magic, but in large part bc he can see her potential to be a great Guardian and a great person.
Chloe accepts, they set up a schedule where she visits Fu's massage parlor. Since Fu is still a bit hesitant about letting Hawkmoth know there are more Miraculous in Paris, Chloe hasn't participated in any Akuma battles or even revealed herself to LB and CN yet. Until the day one Lila Rossi joins Ms Bustiers class, and Adrien comes to school with the Grimore.
I haven't puzzled out exactly how thing go exactly, but Volpina ends with all three heroes becoming aware of Fu, and with Chloe (who I really need to figure out a Fox hero name for) becoming an active player in Akuma battles.
That's all I've got settled on for now, aside from some small details later on, like Trixx relentlessly pranking Audrey after Style Queen and all that, an couple concept sketches for Chloe's Fox hero outfit, but other than that I'm still plotting things out bc I'm hoping that this is the idea that helps me break through my writers block and I'm hoping getting a rough draft planned out will help me stuck with it.
....goddamn that got long.
Oh beautiful!
Also I offer Vixen for Fox!Chloé.
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Beyond Lovers || Chp.4
{More Than Friends Sequel}
Masterlist
Chairman!Jaehyun AU x CEO!Reader AU
Summary: You find yourself falling deeper and deeper in love with the former CEO after overcoming your fear of love. Although there were rough patches, both of you are now stronger than ever. However, you realize that maintaining a relationship and a company at the same time can be very difficult, especially if someone is out to destroy the both of you.
{ Previous / Next }
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You were in awe as you walked through the building that was now lit up with purple, pink, and blue neon lights. It seemed it was only yesterday that Jaehyun proposed to have you as NCT’s CEO. You blindly accepted his offer not knowing how stressful it would be to weigh both online college and a company on your shoulders. Your eyes have almost gone blind from staring at a computer all day. From doing online courses to mapping out designs and promotions for NCT. You wouldn’t have been able to get through even half of it if your friends weren’t there to support you.
For the past few weeks, Soyeon and Mark have stayed up at the crack of dawn studying with you in hopes of finishing the courses required for the three of you to graduate on time. It’d be an understatement to say that the workload is difficult. At times, you even considered going back to college to learn face to face with a professor. However, Soyeon and Mark have always toughed it out and helped to make sure the three of you had the time for NCT.
When you have finished the crazy college workload for the day, you were faced with another workload from NCT. Photoshoots, coordinating, and managing the company left you absolutely no time to relax. You were just thankful your friends were suffering along with you. Soyeon, Soojin, Lucas, Winwin, and Ten were the models of the company. Since they were already professionals, half of the stress was taken away from you, not to mention that Ten’s ability to design saved the company so much time and money. Photoshoots also go smoothly with their professional opinions for improvements. On the other hand, Mark and Johnny were of great help behind the scenes. Mark was in charge of contacting future partners and other human resource duties while Johnny and you took charge of photography and video contents. The whole company was surprised, except for you and Jaehyun, that Johnny decided to retire from modeling. You and Jaehyun have always known Johnny’s passion and skill for photography. Plus, Jaehyun has always told you how guilty he felt to have made Johnny model with a “playboy” image back in SM. Taking both their thoughts into consideration, you used NCT as the perfect opportunity to settle both their concerns and wishes.
You walked through the crowded building remembering the countless nights the nine of you spent decorating and making the building look like what you all have envisioned for it to be: a place of creative freedom and a place that held no boundaries nor anyone to force a fake image upon others. With a big smile on your face, you greeted the people who congratulated you and had small talks with the guests of tonight’s grand opening event. You saw your friends enjoying their time eating, taking pictures, and just happily talking to other people. An ooze of happiness burst from inside of you. Although it was beyond difficult to start the company you and Jaehyun dreamed about, the endless efforts the nine of you put in resulted in a great outcome. 
You scanned around the room and stopped when you saw a particularly well-dressed man staring back at you with a bright smile on his face. Returning the smile, you subtly motioned for him to come.
“Hey there beautiful stranger,” the husky voice said.
You rolled your eyes at him as he wrapped his long arms around your waist. He stared at you lovingly and dove forward for a long kiss. 
Pulling apart, he said in a breathless whisper, “Congratulations Ms. CEO, this all happened because of you.”
Giving him a quick peck, you smiled and whispered next to his ears, “Well aren’t you lucky to be dating her.”
Smiling with his dimples exposed, Jaehyun tucked your hair behind your ears and gazed at you with loving eyes. “I sure am.”
Suddenly, you heard a buzzing sound in his pocket as he walked away to answer the call. You weren’t sure if it was because of the strobe lights or if you were just imagining things, but you saw a slight change in Jaehyun’s eyes. He seemed angry at first, maybe even furious, but when he made eye contact with you, his bright smile returned. You quickly brushed aside the doubtful feeling and walked toward him. 
Gently, placing a hand on his shoulder, you asked him softly, “Everything alright?”
With a light chuckle, he grabbed your hand and placed them beside him. As to assure you, he rubbed soft circles into the back of your hand and said, “I just got a call from our collaboration’s department chief. There were some problems with the contract.”
Pouting, you asked him, “So you have to go? I didn’t even do my welcoming speech yet.”
Jaehyun chuckled, pinching your cheek lightly, “I’ll see my famous girlfriend on youtube later. I know you’ll do great, but don’t forget to mention the handsome man who funded this whole project.”
You scoffed as he gave you a wink and started heading towards the exit. You saw him grab a glass of champagne before waving goodbye to you, disappearing into the elevator.
Sighing, you, too, took a glass of champagne from a passing waiter and gulped it down. You tried to calm your nerves as you gave yourself a mental pep talk. Truth be told, you were a nervous wreck on the inside even though you seemed poised and calm on the exterior. Memorizing your speech wasn’t the difficult part, after all, you planned to speak your immediate thoughts instead of drafting out a speech. This way, the people will understand your genuine appreciation toward them and the company. However, what made you break down with anxiety was the gossip and drama that surrounded you in the past. Although your dating scandal with Jaehyun became less of an interest to the public, there were still many people who doubted you and the position you carry. It took you a lot to fight down your insecurities to even get dressed for the event and show up. You didn’t want to disappoint your friends who all counted on you, so you shallowed down your fears and dragged yourself to the event with forged confidence, hoping nobody will notice your nervous breakdown.
You felt someone lightly wrap their arm around your neck and you turned around to see Soojin. Your best friend gave you an assuring smile and told you, “It’s going to be ok y/n. If anything happens, which it won’t, you have the eight of us to back you up.”
You returned a forced smile and replied, “It’s seven now.”
Looking at you with confusion, she asked, “Seven? Who left?”
“Jaehyun did. He had to deal with one of the department chiefs.”
“Tsk tsk Leaving his girlfriend on one of her most nerve-wracking nights. What a shame,” she shook her head and looked at you with a straight face, “I disapprove.”
You chuckled and lightly shoved her, “Shut up Soojin. He wouldn’t leave me if he saw how nervous I am. Plus, he has important business to attend to. It’ll determine all nine of our futures.”
Raising her arms up in defeat, she said, “Fine, fine. I’m just salty he took my beautiful girlfriend from me.”
You saw her pout as she leaned closer to you, and you pressed your hand on top of her mouth, shoving her away. “Please, you had countless boyfriends and now you try to claim I’m yours?” You looked at her with fake shock, “How dare you! You cheater!”
You both laugh, feeling better already that Soojin was there to shake off your nerves. Soon after, you saw the rest of your friends come over, encouraging you that you’ll do fine. You must say, it was nice to always have the seven of them by your side. Everything felt like it was in place as long as you and your friends were together, indifferent to the media, dramas, and gossips that could easily separate you all.
“Please give a round of applause for NCT’s very own CEO, y/n y/l/n!”
A roar of applause was heard through the neon-lit floor and you felt your nerves rising. Giving a small smile, you walked to the front of the podium as gracefully as you could. 
Taking a deep inhale, you let out your words loud and confidently, “Thank you for the warm welcome! I am so pleased to finally introduce to you, NCT.” Another round of applause stroke and a few cheers were heard. “Our company has been working endlessly to introduce to you all our wonderful models and designs. I would like to first, thank all of our NCT models for bringing this collection to life: Soyeon, Lucas, Soojin, Ten and Winwin,” through your anxious eyes, you saw your five friends waving to the crowd. You gave them a warm smile and continued, “These models are the center of NCT and my most precious friends. Please give them your utmost love and support.”
You continued through your speech with no mistakes and applauses were heard throughout the room. You started to feel at ease as you finished your speech with the words you wanted to say the most, “Last but not least, I would like to thank this one very special person. He has been the light of my life and the most supportive and helpful person to both me and NCT. Unfortunately, he had some matters to attend to so he won’t be here to introduce himself and talk to you all. Nonetheless, I would like to thank Jaehyun with the bottom of my heart. I love you and will continue to lo-”
A cold liquid flowing down your head caused you to freeze before you can finish your sentence. You tried continuing to speak but your eyes started to see red paint drip down from your hair to your face. You felt the crowd’s eyes stare at you as more paint fell down your body. Suddenly, you heard a few people push their way to the front of the crowd and curse at you.
“‘Love’ my ass!”
“Nice way to kiss your way up to the top!!”
“You’re nothing but a slut!”
Once again, fear and anxiety took over you. You didn’t know what else to do but stand there dumbfounded. No matter how hard you tried to muster up your courage to speak, nothing came out. The people just continued to shout threats and throw all sorts of foods at you. The room started spinning and your vision started to get blurry. You saw a swarm of security running towards the shouting people and Mark coming up beside you to call an end to the event. Just as you were about to lose yourself and fall to the ground, Johnny caught you by the waist.
You heard him whisper by your ears, “Hold it in, stay composed. Don’t let these idiots see you fall.”
Johnny’s words made you get a hold onto reality a little better as you stand up straight, acting as if nothing was wrong. You clutch onto his arms as the both of you walk towards the exit behind the backdrop.
———
• Sorry I’ve been MIA & S U F F E R I N G •
• I have too much work and I’m just a tiny girl so pls have mercy on me 🤕 •
• I’m also hella frustrated bc my card charged me for SuperM albums but I couldn’t place my order on the website like wtf does that even make sense to u •
• ANYWAYS HOW WAS JOPPING YALL LEMME HEAR UR REACTIONS •
• STREAM JOPPING 💎 •
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solnishkawrites · 4 years
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Preptober: WCtS Update 3
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Still outlining my 2020 NaNoWriMo project. (Read my introduction to “We Chose the Sea” here). I overcame the hurdle I mentioned in the previous update and am now working on outlining Chapter Five. My protagonist changed her name for the second time, and I still need to research ships that could survive a voyage into an arctic sea and attacks by mutant orcas.
There’s a big thing about my protagonist refusing to be left behind as the men embark on an epic sea voyage, so I decided to change her name to Penelope because, you know, Odysseus’ wife who was left behind to fend off suitors for 20 years. However, I don’t like the nickname Penny, so... idk what to do. Maybe I’ll just get used to it?
Still need to come up with a religious system. Folklore is more relevant to the story than an official religion, but I feel I should know the basics at least. (Speaking of folklore, I only have 2/3 of the myths I need to write as prefaces for each of the three parts of the story). 
I made a hybrid political/topographic map for my fantasy world way back in (I think) July of 2020 when this project was little more than a loose set of ideas. I used a mixture of Inkscape and MS Paint, and it took 6-7 hours because I don’t have a tablet and used a mouse for everything. Now I want to create a map of Helepont, the port city which is the capital of the Enkarian Empire, since in Part One my protagonist ventures through a good bit of it. I’m perusing watabou’s medieval city map generator, but it’s not giving me precisely what I need so I might have to draw my own map. A good friend (whomst I am not sure wants to be named) is sending me a small drawing tablet, so this will be a good project for learning how to use it.
Also I need to add latitude/longitude lines + a scale to my existing world map, but I don’t know how to do that. Valtamere (my fantasy world) is the same size as planet Earth (because I didn’t want to wade neck-deep into all the science of it being different) so it shouldn’t be difficult, but I’m only portraying the northern hemisphere. It’s just a headache overall and I need a smarter person’s advice to feel comfortable doing this.
Anyway, this is very much a rough draft. I’m currently working on Chapter Five and some aspects of it really bother me, but I don’t have the time to puzzle over this and refine things as much as I want before NaNo starts. I keep reminding myself this is Draft No. 1 and it will bear only a vague resemblance to the final product, but it’s hard to keep that in mind as I try not to mentally gnaw on the (glaring) imperfections like a dog on a bone.
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yeet-or-be-hawed · 5 years
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“Red and Black” Arthur Morgan x Reader
Trigger warnings: Violence, mention of rape, gore
This request was a bit of a challenge for me, I found myself in territory I really haven’t tried before so it was a nice challenge! This particular request came from anon asking for what would happen if Arthur was helpless to watch the reader being tortured for information. There is mention of rape, but that’s it. If you have requested a fic from me, I promise it’s in the drafts and will get out EVENTUALLY. I know I have requests that are older than this particular, but I’m honestly posting them in order that I can get them done in time. If you have requested something from me, I promise I’ve started on it and plan on doing it for you, I’m just a trash person who takes on more than they can handle. Anyways, this is my first oneshot I’ve done in awhile, so I hope everyone enjoys!
When Arthur came to, the first thing he noticed was he had been moved. He was no longer hanging upside down from his ankles, he was strapped sitting upright in a wooden chair. The thick ropes were tight against his chest, arms, and legs but he did feel some relief as his ankles throbbed in freedom. The next thing he noticed was Colm O’Driscoll standing directly in front of him. His relief disappeared, with Colm standing directly in front of him he knew he was in for worse torture than before. What else could they do to him at this point? Arthur had lost track of time. How many days had he been there? He had no clue, it felt like an eternity.
“Good evening Mr. Morgan.” Colm greeted him. His voice was smooth like silk but sly like a fox. He began to pace in front of Arthur, it reminded him of the way a wolf circles its prey. “I’ve been thinkin’ as of late that our usual forms of torture just ain’t cuttin’ in. I’ve spent the last few days tossin’ and turnin’ in bed, rackin’ my brain to figure out just what I could do to break you.” He looked Arthur dead in the eye and approached him. “I thought about cuttin’ ya up limb by limb and sendin’ ya back to ol’ Dutch piece by piece but I’ve done that before. Thought bout burnin’ ya alive, but that’s too quick. I even thought about givin’ ya to my boys and tellin’ em yo give ya the good ol’ O’Driscoll treatment but then, fate decided to intervene and dealt me the best card in the deck.” He laughed and Arthur couldn’t seem to find the humor in what he was saying. He grabbed Arthur by the hair and his face was inches from Arthur’s. He kept his eyes locked with Arthur’s as he spoke. “This one wondered in at the perfect timing, bring her in boys.” Colm watched as Arthur’s face drop from a solid stoic grimace to horror as his boys dragged you in, kicking and screaming. For the first time, Colm saw fear in Arthur’s eyes and he knew he found it. Victory courses through Colin’s veins as he stood and turned to you. “Now young lady, you’ve killed almost as many of my men as Mr. Morgan here. As much as I’d love to kill you right here and now, I need you.” He turned back to Arthur. “I’m gonna take my time makin’ you bleed, and Mr. Morgan is gonna sit right there and have a front row seat for it all.”
When he turned back to face you, you spit in his face. “Go to hell, Colm.”
Arthur flinched as Colm’s fist came down hard on your temple and knocked you out instantly. He took a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped the spittle from his face. “Wild one, that one is. I can’t wait to hear her scream.”
“I swear to god Colm, if you hurt her-“ Arthur’s voice was panicked and didn’t sound at all as threatening as he had hoped.
“My dear boy, I already hurt her. And I’ll do it again. I’ll keep doin’ it and you’ll keep watchin’ until you tell me everything I need to know about our dear friend Dutch.”
Arthur pulled and struggled under the ropes, his panic was now full blown. He was prepared to die, prepared to let them give him everything they had and keep his lips tight. He was prepared to die a horrible painful death, but he had been prepared for it for years. This he was not prepared for. One blow was more than enough to make Arthur want to spew it all, seeing them carry away your limp body was enough to make him want to speak up, but he couldn’t. He knew you would kill him yourself if he ever did, but his fear was tearing him apart from the inside. What were they gonna do to you? His thoughts were cut off as a hard blow was delivered to the back of his head.
He could hear before he could see or speak. A piercing scream brought him back to the surface of consciousness. His eyelids were heavy but he fought to open them. Another scream and his eyes flew open. You were strapped down to a chair in front of him. Your clothes had been torn and cut, leaving your midriff, arms, and legs exposed. He had never seen so much of your skin exposed and had it been any other situation he would be blushing furiously. His eyes focused and a deep fury built up inside of him. Your face was covered in bruises and dried blood. Colm was standing on one side of you and on the other was a man holding a branding iron. Colm’s eyes landed on Arthur and he smiled deviously. “Well now, didn’t I tell ya all it would take would be a coupla screams to wake him up?”
“That ya did, boss.” The man holding the branding iron responded.
“Now that you’re awake Mr. Morgan, the real show can start.”
“Damn it Colm hold on ju-“
“Ah Ah Ah, not yet Mr. Morgan. Do it, Yoseff.”
Yoseff held the branding iron over the fire until it was red hot. Colm spoke as Yoseff got the iron ready. “Now, Ms. Y/N, I won’t lie to ya, this is gonna hurt a lot. But while you scream in pain, as the iron burns your flesh I need you to think of one thing and one thing only.” He grabbed your face with one hand and pointed at Arthur with the other. Your eyes met Arthur and his eyes were pleading and frightened. You kept your gaze steady. “That this is happening for one reason and one reason only.” Yoseff approached the the iron, red hot. “Because of him.” As soon as Colm’s words left his mouth, the iron came down hot on your stomach. You couldn’t hold back the blood curdling screech that left your mouth as the brand touched your skin. Tears bubbles in your eyes and fell faster than you could stop them.
Arthur watched helplessly as you withered under the hot iron. Your screeches shattered him like glass and the smell of your burning flesh made bile rise in his stomach.
Colm laughed coldly as he watched you and Arthur. You, a strong woman reduced to tears and wails in a matter of seconds and Arthur looked physically broken at the sight of it. Arthur couldn’t hide his emotions from Colm now, they were painted perfectly in his eyes. The pleasure it sent over Colm’s body felt almost euphoric. It was addicting. “Push it in good Now Yoseff, I want her to really feel it.”
“Yes sir.”
The added pressure pulled another scream from your lips followed by a sob. Arthur thought he would lose his mind in a matter of seconds in a whirlwind of self hatred and loathing and fear and panic. This was all his fault. You were here because of him, your cries for pain were because of him. The scar that would be left on your stomach would be because of him. His stomach dropped. That is, if you made it out of here alive to allow it to scar. If you died here, that would also be because of him. He couldn’t handle it, the thought of losing you. It seemed like an eternity before Yoseff pulled the iron from your stomach. The skin was black and red and your breathing was heavy. Colm inspected the wound and touched it. Each touched pulled a whine from your lips. “I dunno, Yoseff I think she moved too much. I don’t much care for the way this one looks. I think we should try the other side.”
“God no-“
“Okay boss.”
“God no, Colm please.” Arthur repeated. “Stop for the love of god please.” His voice broke. 
“Arthur Morgan, I don’t believe I’ve ever heard you beg before.” He stopped and gave a small signal to Yoseff. Your screams began again as Colm grabbed Arthur by the hair. “Beg all ya like, this girl will receive every bit of torture for the rest of your stay. You should be glad, your wounds will heal and we won’t lay another hand on ya, and that’s a promise.” He leaned into Arthur’s ear and Colm’s hot breath made Arthur’s skin crawl. “She’ll also receive that good ol’ O’Driscoll treatment I told ya about. And you’ll get to see every second of it. That’s also a promise.”
Arthur lurched against his restraints hard. He couldn’t allow that to happen. It was too much for him. The thought of Colm and his men raping you in front of him was enough to make him rampant; he raged and screamed against the chair, desperate to break free. He didn’t care if he died trying, he had to get you out of here alive.
Your throat was rough and sore from the screaming, but you couldn’t stop. The burning of the iron on your skin was too much. You tried not to look at Arthur, you had never seen such raw fear in his eyes and it was all your fault. You had to run off on your own and be the big hero, well look where that got you. Hosea and Dutch tried to stop you, tried to tell you to wait until they had a plan. You had heard that too much from Dutch, but you should’ve listened to Hosea.
Your head was spinning from the pain now, your body tried to break away from the burning metal, but Colm’s big hands on your shoulders held you down tight. This time it didn’t feel quite like eternity before the relief of scorching iron left your side. A heavy sigh of relief left your lips but as soon as the air hissed between your teeth, another swift blow to the back of your head was delivered. It wasn’t enough to knock you out, but it was enough to cause your head to slump forward and cause you to see stars. 
“Now, that’s better.” You winced at the phantom pain of Colm’s fingers prodding the new burn. “What do you think Mr. Morgan?” 
“I think I’m sendin’ you to Hell, you dirty bastard!” He bellowed. He didn’t sound angry though, to you he sounded desperate. He sounded like a man with no water in the middle of the desert. 
Colm laughed humorlessly. “Tsk tsk tsk, Mr. Morgan that’s not what I asked.” The sound of skin hitting skin and it shook you. You pulled your eyes up. “I asked what you thought of the branding job.” Colm kicked him in the stomach and bile spilled from Arthur’s mouth onto the floor. 
“Colm please,” you could barely whisper. “let him go.” You coughed. “Do what you will to me, but please, just let him go.” You coughed and your head was light. 
Arthur fought the tears that tried to well in his eyes. What were you doing begging for him like that? You were obviously in worse shape, and not even for your own torture. This was all his fault, and here you were begging for him to be spared. He shouldn’t be surprised, how just like you to beg for another’s life while yours is on the line. 
When Colm laughed, it sounded surprised and almost delighted. “Here that, Mr. Morgan she wants me to let you go.” He paced the distance between the two of you and took your chin in his hand. “She’ll let me do what I will to her, you hear that boys?” The men in the room whooped and hollered. Colm looked to Arthur and sneered. “Oh, I’ll do exactly what I want, but I’m gonna let this pretty face heal up first. I want to enjoy myself when I take you, little lady and I can’t do that when your eyes are so swollen you can’t see what I’m doin’.” 
Colm dropped your chin and your head slumped. Arthur couldn’t tell whether or not you were conscious. He could barely hear your breathing and your head was still slumped over. Colm turned to leave and he waved towards the men in the corner. “we’re done for now, put ‘em to sleep boys.” As Colm exited the cellar, the butt of a rifle came down on the back of Arthur’s head and everything went dark. 
“...dunno boss, we been here longer than we ever stay in one spot. Van Der Linde is bound to be lookin’ for us by now, not to mention the law and the bountymen. We need to move.”
“We ain’t goin’ anywhere yet, you hear? I ain’t done with these two yet and we can’t move with them it’s too risky.”
“But boss-”
“’But boss’ me one more time and you’ll be six feet under, you hear me boy?” 
“Y-yes sir!”
Footsteps approach. Cold water splashed over your face and your eyes opened instantly with a surprised gasp. It took a moment for your vision to focus, Colm was standing in front of you and Arthur was being carried in by a heavy man. Colm talked as they strapped him in. “Before we get started, I’m gonna ask you a coupla questions, just in case I can save the lady from a little pain.” He pulled a knife through a handkerchief slowly, cleaning it as he talked. His eyes remained focused on the blade. “Where is Dutch and his little gang hiding out these days?” His eyes slid down to your face. Your lips remained tight as you met his gaze defiantly. “I said,” he slashed quickly, leaving a cut along your cheek. “Where is Dutch?” 
You winced in pain as the blood trickled down your cheek. You allowed yourself to look at Arthur for just this one moment. He looked better than before, you supposed Colm kept his word about only hurting you. His bruises weren’t as angry purple as the were before and the dried blood was beginning to flake off. Still handsome, even after being beaten near to death. You hadn’t seen your own reflection since you arrived but you thought it was safe to assume you looked horrible. He was still unconscious while the men bound him. Had you been in better condition, you probably would’ve laughed; Arthur would need to be unconscious for two scrawny men like that to tie him down. Colm’s booming voice demanded your attention. “I’m givin’ you one more chance girl, where is Dutch?” His voice was angry and impatient. 
You looked up slowly. “Dutch...” You coughed. “Dutch is...” Colm held a hand up to the men binding Arthur and they paused. “Dutch is going to kill you.”
Colm lashed out in rage. His fists came down on you in a deluge of anger. Your whole body was throbbing with pain, but your lips remained tight. The thought of Arthur’s eyes on you while you were beaten felt worse than anything physical they could do to you. Seeing the horror and hearing his voice break was almost too much. You never meant to cause him any pain and without you, he probably would have escaped by now. You were nothing but a burden to him now and you knew it. You didn’t care how much pain you were in, you had to get the two of you out of here. 
It didn’t take Colm long to burn himself out on beating you, without your cries of pain it just wasn’t very fun especially since Arthur wasn’t even awake yet. He wiped your blood from his knuckles and cleared his throat. “Okay boys, wake him up.”
A bucket of water was flung on him and you heard him gasp in surprise and cough. Colm did nothing to address him, he wouldn’t meet yours nor Arthur’s gaze as he slowly walked over to the fire and twisted his blade through the tongues of the flames. His eyes refracted the orange glow of the blade as he pulled it from the fire. “Cauterization,” he started. “Is a very funny thing. Sure, it stops the bleeding, but at what cost? Have you ever cauterized a wound, Miss Y/N?” You shook your head slowly. “How about you Mr. Morgan?”
Arthur said nothing, he just stared at Colm, his face was hard to read. Colm laughed. “Quiet bunch today, are we? Let’s change that.” The blade ripped through the flesh down your arm. The stinging of the laceration with the burning of the hot blade was overwhelming. Your resolve to keep your mouth shut for Arthur was shot, Colm was quick in slashing your flesh, leaving huge red gashes, but the blood never spilled. On the third slash, the blade was warm, but not hot enough to stop the blood. “Shit.” He hissed. “New blade!” He called. Your vision was blurry but when your eyes found the fire place, someone was already heating a new knife. Another man grabbed the knife from Colm’s hand and took it to the fire. They had planned for this alright, their system was quick and efficient. Within 30 seconds, Colm had a brand new red hot blade. 
Arthur watched on in horror, for that was all he could do. Colm was slashing the flesh of your arms strategically, not hitting any major veins and replacing the knives every few cuts to make sure the blade was hot enough to cauterize the flesh it touched. Arthur’s mind kept reeling back to when he had to dig a bullet from his shoulder and cauterize the wound himself. It was his only time doing it, but it near made him pass out in pain. But you were still fully conscious and screaming as Colm used your arms for cutting boards. It was too much. You were going to die soon and Arthur knew it. He wondered if he would go insane before or after watching you die. His eyes met yours between your tears and his heart felt like it was in a million pieces. He had to end it, he had to tell Colm everything. Damn Dutch, and damn the whole gang. All he wanted was for your screams to stop. But when he opened his mouth, your expression hardened. Colm turned to switch off knives and your lips formed barely a whisper. “Don’t.”
Arthur couldn’t stop the tears that fell from his cheeks. How could you be so selfless? You knew as well as he did all this would be over if he just told Colm what he wanted to know. Your breathing was heavy and your body was bloodied, bruised, and broken. To any other man, you would look like a broken doll but to Arthur you looked strong. In that moment, it was the strongest Arthur had ever seen you. Face swollen, covered in blood, and still too defiant to give up. He sniffled and gave you a nod. 
Colm missed your small interaction, and for that you were thankful. It was nothing more than a look and the confirmation of understanding of said look, but it was the closest to private conversation you and Arthur had had since you arrived. It gave you the strength to push through whatever was left in store for you. You caught Arthur’s eyes and held their gaze as Colm slid the blade under your collar bone. It was easier to hide the pain now, your lips held tight and you kept your expression as blank as possible. You would get through this together, his gaze wasn’t so desperate and yours wasn’t so pained. Colm’s impatience grew as you kept your pain invisible. He huffed in frustration as he switched off blades. He plunged the knife into your thigh, pulling a hiss of pain from between your lips. Colm smiled cruelly. “There we go, was that so hard?” He twisted the blade and your face contorted in pain. “There’s no need to hide it just for Mr. Morgan’s sake.” He pulled the blade from your flesh and a gasp fled from your parted lips. “Yes,” Colm cooed softly. He slowly sunk the knife into the flesh of your side, careful not to hit any major organs. The slowness of his movements were agonizing. As he twisted, you saw stars and a small cry escaped. You thought you heard a gunshot in the distance as you cried and your eyes shot to Arthur. His eyes darted in the direction of the sound, but Colm paid no mind. Arthur gave you a small nod and with every touch of the knife, you wailed as loudly as possible. More gunshots grew closer, but your cries were drowning them out. Colm was also distracted with how pleased with himself he was. He was convinced you were fully broken now, screeching and wailing like a child with every touch. It was almost too easy. As the gunshots approached, your cries grew louder and more blood curdling, you weren’t sure how long your voice would cover the fight going on outside, but you had to keep Colm distracted. The door to the cellar flew open. “Boss we-”
The man slumped and fell down the stairs. Before Colm could react Dutch, Sadie, and Hosea were coming down upon them guns blazing. Dutch brawled with Colm as Sadie and Hosea freed you and Arthur. Sadie’s small hands moved quickly to undo your bonds as she whispered death wishes to every O’Driscoll in camp. It didn’t take long for Dutch to grapple Colm and put a bullet between his eyes. Sadie tried to help you to your feet but your wounds wouldn’t allow you to stand quite yet. You had forgotten how quite indecent you were until Dutch covered you in his coat.  Finally, you were safe. 
-
The healing process was slow and tedious. You lost a lot of muscle mass from healing and every day chores took a lot out of you. You couldn’t even lift a bale of hay by yourself anymore. The worst part was Arthur though. Since your return to camp, he has been very standoffish and doesn’t say much to you. You would think after everything you had been through, the two of you would be closer. 
You sighed as you picked up the ax and put a small log on the stump. Your arms protested as you swung back, but you were determined to get back to your old self. Just as you were about to swing the blade down, Charles’ big voice boomed behind you and scared you so bad you almost dropped the ax. “Y/N!”
His giant hand took your shoulder and you groaned. “You know better than to work yourself like this, here let me.”
You gripped the ax stubbornly. “Damn it Charles, how am I supposed to get back to my old self if no one will let me do any chores?”
“Don’t worry, you’ll be back to normal in no time.” 
You huffed. “Not soon enough. Ya know I ain’t even allowed outta camp yet? Arthur’s been back out on jobs for two weeks now and I cain’t even pick up a damn hay bale!”
Charles gave you a small smile. “Arthur wasn’t beat up nearly as bad as you. How ya healin’ up by the way?”
You pulled up your sleeves to reveal fresh angry red scars. “They finally stopped scabbin’ over a coupla weeks ago. Still got the phantom pains. Still got a hole in my thigh though. I’m fine really.”
“Glad to see you’re making a solid recovery.” He held his hand out. With a groan of frustration you handed over the ax, Charles is an argument never won.
It was nice having everyone in camp worry, nice to know you were loved and would be sorely missed, but after a month it was getting old. You were tired of being petted, being asked how you were all the time, and treated like a fragile child. You knew the others meant well, but it was getting quite old. You wiped the sweat from your brow when you entered your tent, the summer was getting unbearable. Really it was your fault for wearing a thick long sleeved flannel, but to be quite honest, the scars covering your arms were a little embarrassing. Last week when you rode into Rhodes with Sadie you made the mistake of wearing a chemise top. Everywhere you went you got strange stares, it was humiliating. Even around camp, people stared but it was worse here. Here they stared in pity. Before all this Colm business, you were up there with the men as far as skill and killing went. Now you felt like you were on the same level as Jack. You changed into your chemise top but remained inside your tent. The worst part of all of it wasn’t even other’s opinions, it was yours. You had considered yourself lucky for so long, never taking injuries bad enough to scar you were relatively smooth compared to the others. Now your smooth skin was covered in big angry scars, a constant reminder of your failure. You never necessarily felt pretty, but you had also never felt ugly until now. 
Arthur rode into camp as the sun fell behind the trees. His muscles were still a little sore, but it was more likely from three days of riding than it was from his brush with Colm. His scars were healed to a healthier shade a pink, but the deepest scars were emotional. He forced himself to not look in your tent as he passed. He still hadn’t forgiven himself for what had happened to you and now he couldn’t even look at you without being reminded of how his mistakes caused you unimaginable pain. Your screams haunted his dreams nightly, no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t escape his own guilt. Luckily for him, there was still plenty of moonshine and nothing helps you forget guilt like alcohol. 
You were already quite tipsy by the time the sun had disappeared over the horizon. After a couple of drinks in your tent with Sadie and Abigail, the liquid courage melted your nerves and you were enjoying the cool summer breeze on your exposed arms. No one had mentioned your scars or even stared, you were starting to think things were returning to normal. That is, until you saw Arthur. He walked into the fire light and greeted Sean and Karen who were closest to him. His eyes landed on you and they didn’t even land on your face. His eyes traced your arms and lingered around your exposed collar bones.He made a face like he was about to be sick and grumbled, “Scuse me.” before turning and leaving. You also weren’t the only one to catch his strange actions as half the group around the campfire were now staring at you. Pearson cleared his throat and awkwardly continued his story of the sea.
“That’s it.” You whispered to yourself as you stood. Abigail asked you where you were going but you ignored her. You followed Arthur to the shore of the lake and sat beside him. He kept his gaze straight ahead. You sighed. “When you gonna start talkin’ to me again?”
He looked at you in surprise. “You want me to talk to ya?”
This time you were the one who looked surprised. “Course I do, why wouldn’t I?”
Arthur’s eyes looked pained as he took your arm in his hands. They were so much gentler than you imagined them to be. “I’m the reason they did this to you. You got hurt real bad and it’s all my fault.” 
“Nah, I’m the one who came after ya I deserved it. Now I’m just as ugly on the outside as I am the inside.” You laughed weakly at your failed joke. 
Arthur’s eyes remained on your arm. “That’s just it though, you ain’t ugly. Inside and out, you’re beautiful.” 
You were thankful the moon was hidden behind the clouds, your face was bright red. “I-I don’t know about that.” You stammered.  “I do.” He lifted your hand to his lips and placed the gentlest of kisses on each scar. His beard scratched your skin and when he placed the last kiss on your shoulder his eyes met yours. For a moment, static hung in the air as you stared into each other’s eyes. Then almost as quickly as it began, the moment ended. Arthur’s eyes averted from yours and he began to back away from you. I’m sorry that was-” 
You caught his cheek in your hand and pulled him back towards you. “No!” You said a little too frantically. “No.” You whispered. “That was fine. It was more than fine.” You cleared your throat. Had it suddenly gotten humid out? Your throat was dry and you could feel the warmth over your entire face and down your neck. 
“Okay,” he whispered as he slowly scooted closer to you and wrapped an arm around your waist. His eyes never left yours, needing constant reassurance that what he was doing was okay. You nuzzled your head into his chest and felt his chest let out a shaky breath and he placed a small kiss on the top of your head. Maybe you were beautiful, scars and all. 
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allthings-fantasy · 6 years
Text
Welcome to the World (Pt 19 of Pen Pals)
Author: @allthings-fantasy
Pairing: Bellamy x Reader
Author’s Notes: Sorry there’s no word count on this one! I normally type on word, but while I was finishing it up, it crashed on me. This required me to basically retype the entire thing on tumblr drafts. Literally never thought that this series was going to be this long but here we are! Also if I get anything wrong about the whole pregnancy timeline, my bad. 
Part 18   MASTERLIST
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8 Weeks
It’s been two weeks since Raven’s accident, two weeks since you found out you were pregnant. When you weren’t at work, you spent most of your time at Raven’s house. For the next few weeks she was confined to a wheel chair until her body recovered. A large brace wrapped around her leg, keeping everything aligned. Despite profusely telling you she didn’t need help, you insisted on staying. 
Now it was Friday and you had a doctor’s appointment with your OBGYN. Bellamy insisted on coming to every appointment with you. According to the endless research you’ve been doing, the doctor should be able to show you the baby’s heartbeat.
You had come to terms with the fact that you’re going to get over the stirrups that left you completely exposed to whoever was in front of you. The white sheets hung over your legs as you glanced over at Bellamy with a small smile. You didn’t know how you were so lucky to have such an amazing guy. 
A sharp knock at the door made both of your heads perk up. “Good morning, Ms Y/L/N. How are we doing today?” Doctor Morgan came through the door, flashing the two of you a thousand watt smile. Her short hair cropped her slender face. Kind brown eyes looked over the chart in her hand. “Any changes lately?” Bellamy stifled a laugh while you nodded your head. She smirked and glanced between the two of you. “Care to share?” 
“I can’t eat peanut butter anymore.” Your nose wrinkled just at the thought of it, a small wave of nausea washing through you. “I don’t experience morning sickness that often yet, just here and there. But the cravings are starting to become a real thing.” 
This time Bellamy couldn’t hold his small laugh back anymore. “She asked me to go get pickles and chocolate bars at midnight the other night.” He raised an eyebrow at you, a small blush forming over your cheeks. 
She stifled a laugh and nodded before setting her chart down on the table. “Well that is to be expected. The cravings will probably start getting worse, so make sure you’re getting exercise when you can.” Morgan shot a smile at the two of you and sat down on the stool beside the table you were on. “Let’s get started, shall we?”
For a little while no one talked. The entire room was filled with the shallow hum of the ultrasound machine. Bellamy’s fingers aimlessly ran up and down your arm. The nerves that filled your body the first time you were in this chair were no longer here. That feeling was replaced by anxiousness. You were anxious to hear your baby’s heartbeat, even excited. 
Suddenly, the hum wasn’t the only sound in the room. A deep thumping sound hit your ears, like the beat of a raspy drum. “And that... is your baby’s heartbeat.” You couldn’t describe the feeling running though you. It suddenly became so real. There was an actual person inside of you. 
Bellamy’s hand squeezing yours brought you out of your thoughts. A deep smile spread across his lips. It was impossible not to smile back at him. A cheek aching grin broke out on your face as your vision blurred. 
11 Weeks
Bellamy and you decided that it was time to tell your parents that the two of you were having a baby. The two of you had a bet who was going to squeal louder, your mom or Octavia. When you had told O, you were sure your eardrums were going to burst. You’ve never been hugged tighter in your entire life. She was so excited to be an aunt. 
Two two of you sat across from your parents, enjoying the lunch that your mother made for the four of you. “So, uh, guys we have something to share.” Your leg bounced in anticipation, chewing on your bottom lip. 
Your father’s eyebrows furrowed as he took another large bite of his sandwich. “What is it sweetie?” He murmured through a mouth full of food. 
“We’re having a baby!” 
The squeal you were expecting never came. Your mom looked at you with an opened mouthed smile. She whipped her head to the side and smacked your dad on the shoulder. “You owe me $20!” 
You glared between your mother and father in disbelief. “I’m sorry uh, what?” 
She let out a chuckle and wiped the corner of her mouth with a napkin. “Oh honey, we’ve been betting on when you two would have a baby! I said it was going to be before you got married but your dad insisted it was going to be before!” She clapped her hands together and beamed between you and Bellamy. “I’m so happy for the two of you! I get to be a grandma!”
Your father wiped off his hands and took a large sip of his drink. “How far along are you?” 
“I’m exactly eleven weeks today.” You smiled and leaned your head on Bellamy’s shoulder. 
14 Weeks
You were officially into your second trimester. The past few weeks have been pretty rough on you and you were finally starting to feel better. This was the first time you went an entire week without throwing up. In all honesty, this was the best you’ve felt in months. 
The bump forming on your front was growing every week. Your normal clothes no longer fit you anymore, you moved into maternity clothing. Every night before going to sleep, Bellamy would place a kiss on your forehead and finally on the globe of your stomach. 
17 Weeks
You were beyond excited, you practically skipped across the parking lot to Bellamy’s car. “Guessing this was the news you wanted to hear?” Bellamy smirked over at you as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder. 
Your head nodded eagerly, your hands resting against your growing bump. “You know this is what I was hoping for.” 
He opened the door for you, helping you up into the Rover. You adjusted in the seat, pausing your movements for a moment when you felt something shift. For a second, you thought it was just because of your shuffling in the seat. But once you were still, it happened again. 
You gasped at the sensation, marveling at the feeling of a tiny thump coming from inside of you. Your hands covered the spot on your stomach that was kicked, almost pleading for him to do it again. As soon as Bellamy opened his door you looked at him with wide eyes. “Bellamy! You have to feel this the baby’s kicking!” 
Bell slammed his door shut, his large palms covering the expanse of your bulged stomach. As if the baby knew it was their father, they pushed out a mighty kick. He stared at your stomach in awe. “Hi baby boy.” 
25 Weeks
Heartburn and leg cramps. That’s what summed up your life for the past couple days. Nights were practically impossible making it almost unbearable to sleep. Your doctor advised you to invest in a mommy yoga class to help with the cramps. 
The office room in Bellamy’s apartment was slowly transforming into a nursery. Boxes of furniture sat inside the room, waiting to be assembled. The walls were painted a light grey color with baby blue accents. You both decided on dark mahogany wood for the crib, changing table, and dresser. 
Your baby shower was in a few weeks, Octavia and your mother insisted on you having one. You wanted everything small and simple, but they wanted nothing but the biggest and the best. 
31 Weeks
It was almost 9pm by the time you got home. The Rover was filled with gift bags and boxes of baby supplies, which you were grateful for. Your stomach was stretched to a size you didn’t even think was possible. Faint purple stretch marks started to form over the lower half of your stomach. 
Pregnancy was starting to lose its charm. You were bloated and constantly uncomfortable. No matter how you moved, something was always pressing on something else, pushing one organ into the other. Your bladder and diaphragm got the worst of the abuse. You felt like you could barely walk into the kitchen without getting a little winded. Lord knows, the second you stand up your bladder is demanding to be emptied. 
Bellamy took on the job as your professional shoe tier. You could barely see your toes, let alone tie shoes. Most of the days your feet were too swollen for actual shoes, flip flops were your new best friend. 
37 Weeks
Your bump has dropped, resting deeper in your pelvis. Although it help your breathing, your bladder was taking one hell of a beating. Everything in the nursery was prepared to perfection. You had your overnight bag ready. Everything was ready, expect for the baby. 
You felt bad for Bellamy, you knew he wanted to make you feel better, but there was nothing that could be done. You thought you were uncomfortable before, but it was nothing compared to this. And on top of everything, now you were starting to leak breast milk! No matter how many times you asked, it was impossible for your doctor to induce you early. 
41 Weeks
“Uh, Bell!” You stood in the kitchen, eyes wide and mouth agape as your stared down at your pants. “Bell!” 
His hurried footsteps thundered down the hall as Bellamy skidded into view. “What is it?! Are you o- Oh my god it’s happening!” You watched as his eyes dropped down to the wet spot forming in the front of your pants. 
“It’s happening!” You half laughed at Bellamy’s bewildered expression. His hands went into his hair. 
Bell huffed and in three quick strides he was in front of you. His large hands reached over to cup your face before placing a sweet kiss on your lips.”Ready to have a baby?” 
Everything after that moved in a blur. Bellamy ran to grab your bag and a new pair of pants before making your way out to his car. The two of you limped into the front doors of the hospital where you were met with a nurse that had a wheelchair. 
In the matter of ten minutes you were changed into a gown, hooked up to an IV. There were nurses and doctors all over you. Everything was moving so fast, you felt like you couldn’t catch your breath. 
Bellamy left the room for a little bit to call both of your families, telling them the news. It was past midnight but you knew everyone was going to on their ways in a matter of minutes. 
In the beginning, your contractions weren’t that bad. They simply felt like a cramp, but they took a wrong turn fast. Your hand one hand squeezed Bell’s while the other gripped the bar beside the bed. Everything inside of your clenched as you threw your head back, a deep whine leaving your lips. 
The contractions were only three minutes apart now, you were 9 centimeters dilated, it would happen any time now. Thankfully, you were given an epidural, making the contractions easier to deal with. 
When the doctor told you to push, it felt like nothing was happening. You kept pushing, trying to remember your breathing from those classes that your mother advised you to take. Bellamy was now in scrubs, standing beside you as he told you words of encouragement between your screams. 
Finally, all the pressure went away. You felt empty, deflated. Your head rested back against the pillow as your eyes shut for a few seconds, your body going limp from exhaustion. 
Then, you heard a sound. A sweet, loud cry filled your ears. Bellamy had tears in his eyes when you looked up at him, then to the nurse walking over to you. She had a large smile on her mouth when she handed you the bundle in her arms. 
The second you laid eyes on your baby, you cried. Tears poured uncontrollably from your eyes, never before have you felt overcome with such emotion, such love. Bellamy placed a kissed to the crown of your head before running a finger over the baby’s hand. He was so small, and he was all yours.
The baby was now cleaned off, a brand new blanket wrapped around your baby’s frame. He rested in your arms, sleeping. Bellamy sat beside you on the bed, keeping his hand on the child’s stomach. He was born 7 pounds and 4 ounces, 20 inches long. 
“Do you have a name yet?” The doctor glanced between the two of you.
You nodded and smiled down at your baby. “Daniel... Daniel Michael Blake.” 
She nodded and scribbled it down on a piece of paper. “Well, welcome to the world Daniel Blake.” 
TAGS: @divadinag  @literallyhelpme  @iamabeautifulperson18  @jodiereedus22  @imarypayne  @glittered-unicorn-lava  @coffeebooksandfandom  @sighsophiia  @lilaqueenquinn  @kararanae23  @alecswcrlock  @smexylemony  @wisestydia-15  @olkathefoxi  @your-imagination-runs-wild  @thehakunamatara  @takenbymyfandoms
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queencatherynerhys · 6 years
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Almost Lover - TRR AU Part 5
A/N: Seriously, I had no clue about how to go about this chapter. I absolutely had no idea where it was gonna end up. I kept writing drafts after drafts, simply not satisfied. The only thing I knew for sure was it was gonna be about Catheryne’s time during the two months she was home. I am so overwhelmed about the overwhelming support I’ve gotten for this series. I am going to have 2 more chapters after this one and possibly an epilogue. I want to give a shout-out to all who has helped me with coming up with material for this series. Thanks @captainkingliam @alicars and @cocomaxley.
Song Inspiration: Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy (this is one of my favorite angst songs... it’s so heartbreaking and haunting)
Summary: Catheryne is finally home. She meets an old friend. Will she finally be able to be free from Liam’s grasp on her?
Tag List: @captainkingliam @decisso @devineinterventions2 @madaraism @theroyalweisme @drakewalkerwhipped @laniquelove @drakesfiance @hhiggs @hellospunkiebrewster @alicars @mrswalkerreynolds @mfackenthal @simplyaiden-blog @hopefulmoonobject @blackcatkita @cocomaxley @boneandfur @lizeboredom @crayziimaginations @zilch3
Previous Parts:
Ruin the Friendship – Part 1
Delicate – Part 2
Tell Me You Love Me – Part 3
Maybe This Time – Part 4
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 After a long 13-hour train ride, she arrives at her homestead around 12:30am. The street is quiet and dim, only lit by a couple of lampposts. She sends a thankful note to her parents for leaving her their home. She never has to worry about not having a place to stay for she will always have this for herself. She couldn’t bear to sell it when her parents died. I didn’t want to lose their memories. And I didn’t want to move away from…him. She smiles somberly at the thought of her once best friend and glances at the house next door, her second home. I’ll make sure to say hello to his parents tomorrow.
She heads inside her family home. It smells musky, she feels as if she’s breathing in layers of dust. Tomorrow is gonna be a long day spent cleaning. I should get some rest. But she’s not quite tired yet. So, she heads down to the beach.
She missed this unobstructed view of the sky. She missed the sea salt smell of the air. She missed the sounds of the waves hitting sand. She missed the moonlight shining upon her. She missed the gently breeze that ruffles her hair. She loves the New York skyline, but she is in love with the view of her paradise. It’s only been a year and a half, but it feels like forever. She inhales a deep breath, recalling all the memories she shared with him in this very spot. All the long talks, laughter and cries they shared.
After a long moment, she exhales finally releasing all the emotions she’s bottled up over the 6 years she’s been in love with him. She closes her eyes, saying a silent goodbye in her mind. I love you, Liam. I’ll always love you. But it’s time to turn the page. It’s time for me to let go of you. I must focus on myself now, and what’s best for me. I am tired of hoping  and waiting for your love. Loving you has cost me more pain than I could imagine. Though, I’ll never regret it. You’ll always be my friend. Goodbye, Liam, my almost lover, my hopeless dream. She opens her eyes letting a tear stream down her face. She feels lighter as if a weight was lifted off her shoulders. She still feels pain in her chest, yet she feels sure and optimistic of the future, a future without him. She doesn’t know what that looks like because he has always been a constant presence in her life.
She heads back inside to get some much-needed rest before a long day tomorrow. The sun rises and fills her face with warmth. She wakes up to get ready for the day and head out to the city to get some cleaning supplies and food. She heads out in the garage, grinning widely at the sight of her trusty old car. She remembers Liam scolding her for getting this baby blue beat-up car. “Ryne, you realize you have enough money to actually buy a brand-new car, right?” It’s true her parents had left her a significant amount of money, being a doctor and dentist had its perks. But they also taught her how to value the simple things in life, not over indulging and being humble and grateful for what she had.
She opens the garage entrance and steps out into the warm, humid air of her hometown. Mm, fresh air. “Well, if it isn’t Ms. Catheryne Knightely,” an old man’s voice cried out. She opens her eyes to see Mr. Rhys standing across the way, tending to a plant. He hasn’t changed much. His hair once black hair has a little grey to it now and his wrinkles becoming more define, but over all he still looks great for his age. It must be where Liam gets it. “Hello, Mr. Rhys. How have you been?” she greets him politely. They exchange small talk before he inquires, “So, what’re you doing back home?” She thought for a moment on how to best answer his question. She didn’t want to recall the events that lead to her return, so she kept it simple. “I just needed some fresh air, you know, New York can get very busy, so I thought I’d go back home to rejuvenate.” He looks at her for a moment with narrow eyes, if he suspects the hidden truth he didn’t show it and just simply says, “well, it’s good to have you home.”
“Thank you, Mr. Rhys, I’ll see you around,” she starts to walk away before remembering something. “Um, Mr. Rhys, can I ask you a favor?” he looks over his shoulder and replies, “Anything, dear.” She hesitates before asking, “Is it alright if you don’t tell Liam that I’m here? It’s just… he’s really busy up there I don’t want him distracted.” He glances at her a bit of confusion in his eyes, but he agrees and tells her, “Sure thing, dear, I’ll make sure to let my wife know as well.”
She heads off for the local Wal-Mart for some cleaning supplies, then heads to the farmer’s market for some food to cook for the next few weeks. She is wandering stall by stall, when she hears a deep, somewhat rough voice say, “Look what the cat dragged in.” She whirls around coming face to face with an old friend.
Drake Walker, handsome as ever with his shaggy brown hair and chocolate brown eyes. He dons his trademark look, a thin white shirt underneath an open button-down denim top paired with dirt-stained jeans and boots. He looks like he’s gain some muscle since the last time she saw him. He is tanner now, too. “Hello, Knightely, long time no see,” he smirks at her. She smiles back and retorts, “well, you look clean.”
He laughs at the statement. “So, how long are you in town for?” He genuinely asks. “I don’t know, a while, I guess.” She doesn’t specify because she really doesn’t know. I don’t know if I’ll even go back to New York in general. “Well then, what are you doing tonight?” he inquires, his voice tinged with curiosity. “I don’t know, Drake, I’m just spending all day cleaning and stuff.”
“Hmm, how about I come by and help you?” Her eyes widened slightly at the offer and says, “Oh, no, I…I can’t ask you to do that Drake.” “It wasn’t really a question, just phrased like one, Knightely,” he bluntly stated. She learned long ago not to argue with that man. He’s as stubborn as a brick wall. “Fine,” she grumbled. “Let me grab a couple more things then you can follow me back to the house.”
They arrive, and he helps her carry her groceries inside. She sees him look around, then she realized he’s never been inside her actual house. He’s been inside the Rhys’ home where she lived during high school. “It’s cozy,” he observes. “It will be once I get it cleaned and dusted. I never moved any of the stuff since my parents passed away,” she somberly explained.
They put away the food before getting to work on cleaning the old place. “Where do you want me, Knightely?” he looks at her. “I guess we can start with the living room. We need to move the furniture outside and sweep the floor and dust the everything and all,” they tackle the room slowly, helping each other carry the big furniture outside to air out and dust the cushions. After two long, hard hours of non-stop cleaning, the living room finally looks the way it used to be. It was like it was restored to its original glory with the dark hard wood floors shining making a beautiful contrast with the light beige painting of the wall and the furniture put back in place, the only thing missing was the warmth from the ghost of the family that used to fill the room.
She slumps down on the couch, catching her breath. Drake sits beside her, making sure to put a relative amount of space in between them. “So, you never told me if you were doing anything tonight?” he asked her. “Why do you want to know?” she quipped. “Look, Knightely, I was wondering if you’d like to join me for dinner at the ranch?” he says so quickly, pretty much combining the words together. “Drake, that’s not a good idea and you know it,” she shakes her head as she replies to his offer. “It’s not like that Knightely, what I’m offering is a friendly dinner, I swear, just a good old-fashioned steak dinner and an old bottle of whiskey. We don’t even have to talk if you don’t want to, so what’d ya say?” he explains. “You’re not gonna take a no for an answer, are you?” she smirks at him. “You know me so well, Knightely.”
He gets up to leave to get ready for their dinner in a couple of hours. She is too exhausted to mull over the offer, so she decides to take a shower and get some rest before she heads to Walker Farms. His family owned and ran a large farm. The way there is memory to her from the many times her and Liam biked there to hang out. She arrives to a picnic table set up outside their farmhouse. “Hey, the steak is almost done grilling, you’re welcome to start on the whiskey though,” he acknowledges her arrival.
She takes her place on one side of the picnic table. She wasn’t feeling up to drinking yet, so she sits there admiring the vast land of crops that is spread out There is a full moon tonight and it shines brightly around the stars that surrounds it. Her gazing is hindered when a plate of delicious steak is put in front of her. “Thanks,” she says graciously. “Hope you like it,” Drake says mindlessly. They eat in silence, enjoying the sound of the chirping of the crickets in the distant. This is why I like Drake, he doesn’t mind the silence like I do. Liam always had something to talk about, a problem, an opinion he wanted from me. I mean there were moments of silence, but they were rare.
She doesn’t know how long they sit there quietly and Drake only breaks the silence to offer her a glass of whiskey which she accepts. She nurses her first glass while he is already in his third cup. “Might wanna slow down there, champ?” He grumbles a response as he sets down his glass on the wooden table. He leans forward and crosses his arms on the table in front of him and asks, “So, what’re you really doing back home? And don’t give me the bullshit answer, Knightely, we’ve known each other a long time,” his serious tone surprises her. “I thought this was a friendly dinner and that we didn’t have to talk,” she reminds him of his offer. “Oh, well, I lied. I guess some things are still the same, stop ignoring my question,” he clearly says.
She pauses, gathering her thoughts, thankful that she only has one glass of whiskey in her system. Drake knows of her feelings for him, he has known a long time. One of the many things that made him a great person is that he just listens to her, he allowed her to voice out her frustrations without judgment. “He knows, Drake,” she says, willing her voice to maintain a neutral tone. “He knows and he…he didn’t…he doesn’t love me back, so I left, it was time,” she stares at the night sky, preventing her tears from escaping her eyes as she explains. Aren’t you done with the crying, Catheryne? You’ve been crying the last 2 weeks. Move on already.
Drake doesn’t say anything for a long time. “He’s a stupid man for letting you go, you know that right,” he looks at her. She is surprised to see nothing but earnestness in his eyes. “Well, it doesn’t really matter now, it’s in the past, nothing’s going to change,” saying it in a way to tell him to drop the subject. “So, what’s new with Drake Walker? Broken any hearts lately?” she changes the subject.
“Well, my dad gave me the ranch when I graduated so I’ve been busy learning the business and handling it on my own, leaving no time for my old habits. I’m a new man now, Knightely, more responsible, I think,” he says with a grin. She laughs loudly at his remark, “Alright, Drake, I’ll believe it when I see it. And that’s nice for your dad to finally trust you with something, especially something of this magnitude. How’s Savannah doing?”
They spend the next two hours catching up with how life has been for them, laughing and reminiscing. Weird. I feel so at ease when I’m around him. Like I could stay here for hours just talking to him. I wish Liam treated me this way. Why couldn’t he just love me back? Am I that repulsive? Am I not good enough? She shakes her head vigorously, stopping herself from delving back into the self-doubt, self-loathing phase that Liam causes her to go to. It’s time to let go, Catheryne. It’s time to let go of what could have been. I mean come on there’s a great guy sitting in front of you. Who knows, maybe he can mend your broken heart?
“Drake, thank you for this wonderful night, and forcing me to come out here, I had fun, really,” she honestly tells him. “You’re quite welcome, Knightely, you deserve it,” he replies. “Anyway, I should get going, it’s late and I still have a lot of work to do at the house in the next few weeks,” she begins to stand up and helps him clear the table. “Goodnight, Knightely, I’ll see you tomorrow,” waving to her as she walks back to her car. “Goodnight, Drake, see you tomorrow.”
The next few weeks pass by quickly with her and Drake cleaning up the rest of the house, providing her with some nice distraction. When he leaves in the afternoon, she ends up Face-Timing with Hana talking about their days, catching up with about what’s happening with her job at the event planning place she works at. She tries to inform her about Liam’s well-being, but she refuses to acknowledge him. She is making good progress with freeing herself and moving on, she doesn’t want to interrupt that. Hana pries her for details about Drake, as well, but she doesn’t say too much. They have been hanging out every day. He even offered her a job at the farm, which she accepted. Maxwell also entertains her sometimes, showing off new dance moves he’s learning from the videos he’s watching.
One Friday night, her and Drake were sitting on her couch watching a show when she hears a knock on the door. She looks utterly confused on who it could be on the other side of that wood panel, she doesn’t know anyone else in this neighborhood besides the Rhys’. She hesitantly gets up to answer it and was clearly surprised upon seeing who it was.
“Surrrrprrrissseee, little blossom,” Maxwell chirps before gathering her into the biggest bear hug, crushing her ribs. “Maxwell, can’t…breathe…” he puts her down and looks down at the floor before apologizing, “I’m sorry, little blossom, I just…I missed you so much!” She lets them into the foyer before giving Hana an endearing embrace, “This is such a lovely surprise, you guys, what made you decide to come down?” Hana and Maxwell look at each other before she answers her question, “We really wanted to see how you were doing and how you’ve been dealing with everything. And besides it’s also a nice vacation for us. We haven’t had one in a while, so we decided to fly down here getting the nearest hotel from you, so we can be close and hang out every day!”
“Nonsense, Hana, you guys are staying here. I have 2 other extra bedrooms not being used and you can stay in one of them. I’m not asking either,” she firmly demanded. “Awesome! We’re gonna party every night!” Maxwell says, jumping with excitement. His bubble of joy is popped with the sound of clearing throat. She totally forgot that Drake was still there. “Oh, I am so sorry,” she leads them into the living room where he stands in the middle of the space, “Hana, Maxwell, this is Drake. Drake, this is Hana and her boyfriend, Maxwell, they’re my friends from college.” He shakes Hana’s hands politely and extends one toward Maxwell’s, “No, dude, bring it here,” the utter shock on Drake’s face when Maxwell hugs him is priceless! He steps away quickly, shifting his foot awkwardly before saying, “Knightely, I’m gonna head out, looks like you have some catching up to do.” He sends them a lazy wave over his shoulder as he walks out the front door.
Hana and Maxwell stayed with her for two weeks. Their arrival sparked the beginning of her new chapter. They spend every night staying up late watching ridiculous movies or playing games like Truth or Dare. She finds Drake actually enjoying their company, even him and Maxwell are getting along quite nicely although he’ll never admit it. The warmness that was missing from her first day was finally there. This is her family. Her new family. She dreaded the day for them to finally go back to New York. Her and Drake gave them a ride to the airport. “I’m gonna miss you Hana. You’ve been more than a friend. You’ve been my sister. Thank you for offering to take care of my stuff up there. I find myself owing you more than I care to admit,” she tears up as she hugs her tightly. “Oh, honey, you don’t owe me anything,” Hana assures her, rubbing her back for comfort. She lets go and turns to her long-lost brother, “Oh, Maxwell, what am I gonna do without your random dance moments and rap battles? Whenever I feel sad, I’ll make sure to remember all the times you made me laugh,” she hugs her adopted sibling. “I’ll miss you little blossom, but don’t worry I’ll Face Time you every day!” he promises. She waves them off as they go through security. “You have nice friends, Knightely.” I know, I know. I’m gonna miss them so much.
The next month and a half flies by. She finds most of her days with Drake. He picks her up to go to work in the farm, then drops her off and hangs out at her house all night. They make dinners together and usually get wasted out on the porch or on the couch. 
One night after he left for home, she stays out on her porch thinking about her and Drake and their friendship. She knows that Drake has feelings for her. She is somewhat worried about what their relationship could lead into or be leading into. I don’t want to lead him on. I don’t think I’m ready for anything more than friends. Or what we are right now. He doesn’t deserve that. He doesn’t deserve the pain I’ve had for 6 years. She is so tired and confused that she gives up trying to sort out her knotted feelings
After a month of casual dinners and hang-outs, she offers him to accompany her down by the beach after they coming back from dinner at the farm, surprising herself at the request, “Drake, would you like to go with me to the beach?” He agrees, bewilderment in his face, “Sure.” Bringing him down there had more meaning than what lies in the surface. This place is private, meant for just her and…him. She’s never had anyone else, never shared her paradise with anyone but him. This was their place. Is it really ok to bring him here? I think you’re thinking too much into this. It’s just a place. It’s not like he’s going to know. He’s far away, living his own life and forgetting about me. What the hell, right? It’s time.
She takes his arm and leads him down by the shore. Once again, she’s grateful for his silent presence. They stand there, letting the water hit their feet, completely surrounded in comfortable silence, even the waves are calm tonight. He turns to her and blurts out, “I like you, Catheryne, I don’t mean just as friends. I have had feelings for you since high school, but Liam was always there, but now he isn’t, and I think that we have something really great going here.”
She is completely taken aback by his confession and before she could come up with a reply, he crosses the gap between them and crashes his lips against hers. He kisses her with fiery passion and what takes her by surprise is that she kisses him back, wrapping her hands around his neck and through his hair. They break apart after a long moment, both catching their breath from the passionate encounter.
What just happened? What did I just do? Drake…just kissed me and I kissed him back? Why did I do that? I don’t even know what I want yet. Am I ready for a relationship? A real relationship? It’d be nice not pining for someone I can’t have for once, but am I really over him? I like Drake, I do, he’s been by my side and treats me like a man should treat a woman. I definitely feel something when he’s around? Is that love? Or am I just using him to forget about him? Oh, Liam, even from far away you still somehow manage to cause me pain. Why can’t I stop thinking about you? “So, what do you say about giving us a try, Catheryne?” Drake asks with a hopeful voice, pulling her away momentarily from her piercing thoughts. She gives it some pondering. She looks at his eyes, meeting his coffee brown ones with her own.
“Drake, I…I… I don’t know. I’m sorry.”
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kpsoa97xs-blog · 5 years
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