#so i didnt really notice that he was very different bc i didnt have 17 year old auburn hair botticelli angel in my mind yet

[monstersinthecosmos]

I have no intention of watching the new IWTV show, but I was wondering why you think Armand's characterization was so bad. I kinda hated how Antonio Banderas played him in the 1994 movie (not on its own, just in comparison to the books - I feel like his personality/demeanor was totally different), so it's sad that they still haven't gotten him right... Judging from pictures alone, I did think the casting for him was more fitting this time. Anyway, just curious to hear your thoughts!

Oh man!!!!!!!!! I do wanna say up front, I think Antonio was NOT A GREAT ARMAND but I like those scenes in the movie so much because they feel SO RICEY to me. Like I LOVE Movie!Armand even though he isn't Book!Armand, and if you read IWTV in good faith it's the only book that doens't harp on Armand looking like a smol uwu cherub so like ! SURE. He definitely still brings the calm nurturing mentor vibe in a huge way and the scenes in his room feel the most like the books to me.

I also know from the director's commentary that they specifically wanted Armand to look like that so that the Europe vampires would feel like OLD WORLD SCARY vs like, another twink lol. So he's got a little more of a tropey Dracula vibe going on and I think like as a visual contrast it works really well.

As far as the show; I think Assad is EXCELLENT. And like the whole fandom was joking even when the credits hit IMDB that it was gonna be Armand because everyone was like "OHH ARRIGHT.. LOUIS'S """""ASSISTANT"""""" OKAY !" so like I was one of the conspiracy theorists looking for clues the whole time. And his MANNERISMS are dead on and gave him away before anything else did. I have zero issue with the actor, I think he's so spooky and a complete smokeshow which Armand DESERVES. And I wish I could like the show for him, I really do! But it's just NOT WORKING FOR ME.

I'll put the rest under a cut cause it got lengthy and I'm not trying to like be a downer on anyone's dashboard but TLDR the show is so completely unrecognizable to me and I think it would've been so much better as an original concept, and personally I'm not excited by randos who share names with the books I read. The show is a hit! People really like it! But idk like showing me these two random ass men and saying "Hey this is Daniel and Armand" doesn't excite me because the story they're showing me actually ISNT Daniel and Armand lol. I'm here for the story!!! I'm not here for Easter Eggs!

Here's my main few gripes with how they wrote Armand which I find mega disappointing:

He spends 6.9/7 episodes pretending to be Louis's assistant named Rashid. WHY! LOL. Why would he do that! DANIEL DOESN'T REMEMBER HIM ANYWAY SO WHY???????? I DONT UNDERSTAND. Like Armand is a weirdo but is he THIS WEIRD? idk. idk.

The show also (in my opinion!) horrifically botched Lestat, but there's like this grain of doubt because the show has a theme of memory being unreliable, so the speculation is that maybe Armand planted a skewed version of events in Louis's head? Even the show runner sort of hinted at this? LIKE I HATE THIS?? Because if we get to S2 and it turns out that Lestat's been misrepresented, it then turns the tables and makes it that ARMAND is the one who's horrifically botched????? Like I'm all for silly Armand jokes and memes and whatever but like. sigh idk i just looked really forward to this show and hoped to see Armand on screen and I didn't really want a meme version of him. ((Also as an aside I really dislike the unreliable memory themes on the show the way they're presented because like the books frame unreliable narration as like interpretive and emotional but the vampire lore canonically is that they have like mega supernatural photographic memory? idk. If memory is faulty because they still have that human fallibility it's one thing unless they're saying Armand planted memories in Louis's head??? idk idk.))

And like speaking towards whether or not Armand is a person who would plant false memories in Louis's head; I concede that he psychically influenced Louis to join him in IWTV but like. ARMAND IS A NUANCED CHARACTER WHO ACTS FROM A PLACE OF NEED AND HURT. And idk it's just so fucking clunky I can't imagine the manipulation taking this type of shape. There's just, to me LOL, a huge difference between the mental nudge of "You are lonely and you need guidance please come with me" and "Lestat was a horrific domestic abuser." And like. idk. Just within the package of the whole rest of the season, this team has the subtlety of dropping a fucking piano so I just have no trust in them to write him with any sense of nuance.

AND THE BIGGEST OFFENSE THAT I'M JUST COMPLETELY DISGUSTED BY IS THAT HE'S A DAYWALKER?????????????????????????????????????????????????

I just hate the daywalking shit so fucking much I can't even start. Like the show changes a lot of the lore which is fine whatever it's their show change lore if you feel like it whatever but like. ARMAND'S ENTIRE LIFE IS THEMATICALLY BOOKENDED BY DARKNESS. He grows up in a CAVE. He lives in a CULT BENEATH A CEMETARY. He tries to KILL HIMSELF by GOING INTO THE SUN.

Like. And he's only 500? That's like adolescent for a vampire LOL.

There were a couple times in the season where they had some continuity errors on the show!lore so I got the vibe that the writers didn't really care about all the VAMPIRE STUFF which is kinda disappointing to me bc I'm a nerd lol but it felt like they used Armand in the sun to just give the audience a red herring and it came across as really cheap to me. So I wouldn't put it past this team to kinda be like DAYWALKING SURE LOL and not really take it seriously or think about the larger picture of how that unfolds for the character over more seasons.

IT'S WHATEVER, I JUST. I know it wouldn't make good television but I like VC because it's like existential dread and consuming darkness, I want it to hurt me, I want it to feel bleak, I want Armand's entire arc to be about how much he struggles with the idea that there's no God. It just feels like if you can make it a few centuries and be able to withstand the sun, what's the fucking point? What sacrifice did you make for being immortal? Especially for a character like Armand who so fully believes himself to be damned and would never want to make another vampire, would never subject even an enemy to it.

Especially bc like in the show the vampires can like ? Smoke? And have sex? And they can eat food (even though it tastes like paste but they can eat food). IF YOU CAN SMOKE AND FUCK AND GO IN THE SUN YOU'RE JUST A GUY. Where's the fucking DAMNATION OF IT ALL? Also what's the fucking point of Those Who Must Be Kept if you can go in the sun lol. I just . Ugh what a clusterfuck.

The show turns vampirism into more of a power fantasy than the way the books treat it as damnation or a symbol of being othered so it doesn't really mesh with like, my idea of VC and what I want out of it.

So Armand being a daywalker = Instant Nope From Me. I'm not interested in whatever they're trying to sell me lol.

A few other things that are NOT confirmed but generally just giving me the ick that I worry about:

I really, really, deeply, truly, hated how they wrote Claudia's character and how they wrote about rape, and that gives me a really bad feeling about how they'd potentially tackle Armand's canon background. The two options are: They don't, and he's a completely different character with a different background, with completely different context for his personality/motivations/etc (in which case who the fuck cares he's just some guy who shares a name with the book I like, and not really Armand), or: They GO THERE and it's just extremely heavy handed and insensitive and not fun to watch. I think show!Claudia maybe has more in common with Armand than book!Claudia because they aged her up to be a teenager so it's just, yikes. THEN AGAIN ARMAND IS NO LONGER A TEENAGER ON THE SHOW?

And to that point like. I don't need a bunch of fucking conservatives getting in my face about how I want to see a teenager sexualized because that's not the point; logistically for TV it makes sense that he's older, but again, it changes his backstory so much. imho, Armand being turned as a teenager and looking like a teenager is a huge element of his character! It's important! It just is! And I'm sorry that the show decided that the vampires could have sex, because they invented this problem for themselves! If they kept the canon lore you wouldn't have to see them have sex anyway LOL.

I also was not a fan of the truncated timeline of the show; season 1 takes place in like 30 years I think? And covers from the beginning of the story until Lestat's murder. And I believe Louis will meet Armand in the 1940s; they have the original interview in the 70s and they're together then, and they're together in the present in 2022. Idk I'm just not impressed; humans can get divorced after 30 years too, what's the point of having immortal characters if you're not gonna stretch out the timeline? And so much happens for Armand and Louis in canon and I have no idea what's happened or not happened on the show yet, no one's really sure which events have happened yet in the present day segments of the show. So like idk there's just a lot of Armand/Louis stuff to be smushing into 70 years lol and I'm bummed that they're rushing through the timeline so much.

So I just. Sigh. There's a lot of themes in VC that I really adore that the show doesn't care about, like being VERY OLD and NEVER SEEING THE SUN AGAIN but. I'm in the minority on this one because people love the show LOL. I'm happy for everyone who likes it, but it's not for me.

And like. Just! I knew going in that it would be the Loustat Show, I think everyone knew that, I didn't have huge expectations for Armand/Daniel content but it's such a small part of the books that like it would've been nice to get a couple scenes or some gifs out of it or whatever. It just sucks that like they SET UP the series in a way that the Devil's Minion won't happen on screen. And it sucks that like, depending how long the show runs for or how long AMC retains the rights, this might be the only chance in my lifetime that I had to see Devil's Minion on screen and it's not going to happen.

It's just a bummer man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sorry to anyone who likes the show lol I just found it to be like mega disappointing and I don't think I'm going to watch S2, I'm too upset about Armand & Daniel LOL.

[actualbird]

ok idk if im imagining this bc i can’t open tot rn but in marius’ sr overtone didn’t mc say she learned the guitar bc a guitarist in college was really hot or something?? i remember being so surprised that marius didn’t react at all (not even a “even hotter than me missy?” :( ) bc yknow… he’s a brat and this is an otome game but he was just “yeah that’s a perfectly valid reason for learning an instrument” sfskdj

omg im too lazy to go check that marius guitarius sr and also i dont want to because this made me think of something SO MUCH FUNNIER

wc: 603

like the ONLY explanation as to why marius wouldnt complain about something is if he completely understands what mc experienced. so i put forward my brand new hc

marius von hagen, in university, got crushes on SO MANY HOT MUSICIANS

and he did SO MUCH STUPID SHIT to try and get them to notice him

art schools are filled with musicians. idk the exact vibes of the florence college music scene, but surely, theres hot bands with hot people. if there arent, there are now. leather jacket, piercings, powerful drives that bang out an arresting beat on the drums. marius knows about stage presence, he knows how to make himself the star of the room, but when he sees bands play with all their energy and skill, hes the one whos in awe at how much they can have the entire bar eating out of the palm of their hands. marius is SO INTO IT. hes 17-18 years old maybe and hes just like O/////O and he doesnt know what to DO with himself

actually heres some visual and musical peg for one of the musicians (because u cant convince me he DIDNT basically get a crush on everybody in florence who knew how to do music) marius gets a crush on

a drummer, she was

he tries to hit on drummer girl like, immediately, and she'll give him credit, he's adorable, so she gives marius the time of day sometimes. but marius being marius Always Wants Attention so hes like "teach me how to play the druuuuumssss 🥺🥺🥺" and hes so endearingly annoying about it that drummer girl gives it a shot

and

hes

terrible

marius is a fast learner, but drumming is a different language. on the physical aspect, it's WAY MORE FEROCIOUS than painting. when marius holds a paintbrush and drags it across the canvas, his movements are gentle and careful. drummer girl hands him the drumstick and shes like "okay give me a few beats" and marius taps the drum like a feather dropping onto a pillow. drummer girl has never laughed this hard in her LIFEEEEEE.

additionally, drummer girl learns that marius has NO SENSE OF BEAT, TEMPO, OR RHYTHM WHATSOEVER. if she had talked to the other musicians marius pined for, she would learn that marius has no skill concerning all things musical altogether. PAINTINGS DONT MAKE SOUND, OKAY!!!! so drummer girl is tapping a beat and marius fumbles with the drumsticks, losing whatever beat there was (there wasnt any to begin with). he tries to make up for his lack of skill by doing a flashy trick he saw drummer girl do---twirling the drumsticks---and he ends up sending the drumstick careening into his face

honest to god, he is not doing this on purpose. marius von hagen would rather eat soil than not be seen as the coolest person in the world

he just wholly, honestly sucks. he sucks soooo bad. drummer girl (and every other musician marius ran after) found his ineptitude VERY CUTE

plus, him being so shit at playing the drums did give her the opportunity really teach marius about rhythm

by fucking it into him

repeatedly

several times

drummer girl: so do you get it now?

marius: nope, not a bit. maybe one more time, teacher ;3

so when mc in the marius guitarius sr is like "oh yeah i learned the guitar because a guy in college was a guitarist" marius' inner monolog was like

"oh hey, i did that a bunch too!

except

i was not successful

in actually being good at the instrument"

you win some, you lose some

[misterbitches]

some thots. having a bad time so this is rougher than usual. oh well

....

i guess he really does know hiim best cos if that was my mans (man specifically cos if anyone else did that id take it more srsly) i would be like oh my god ur singing me a love song? i would love it but i woudl SCREAM in embarrassment. UNLESS it was a really deep love song that's about us dying together.

like i want to eat ur skin type of thing (drain u nirvana) lmaoa but i really like this song it reminds me of that velvet underground song (the only one i know cos of juno lmao) and nico or whatever 'i'm sticking with you)

my adhd would be out of fucking control i had to spend my time listening to this looking around i kept getting distracted by a tissue and thinking "wow this song is nice but i wish it would end bc i am getting distracted" and lo and behold i paused it and i have to pee and i know it's gonna take forever to undo this

ok about 12m later i turned it back on and they kissed and then he bit the corn then that night li chen also lost his virgin teas after watching gay porn and being like "hm interesting" and he'll be like "i see, ur dick is not medium sized"

i'm honestly gagging i cannot at this 12 year old marrying his mom

beautiful theyre beautiful

ayea you fucking psycho we do too because he was 17 and we had to witness it (or well, other people did cos i didnt watch the show even tho wayne song is [BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEP BEEEEP] and i want him to [BEEEEEEEP] and ppl even liked it which is fine like i get it in theory but they put this in my eyeballs so i'm gonna make fun of it bc it's fuckin DUMB lmao like i can't I CANNOT and he said "u were so persistent" BITCH UR 30??!?!???!?!?!?)capi hve it on mute and i tried to get a screencap of li chen and mu ren like together and not just his face but i cant find the timestamp and seeing their faces as they get married is literalyl traumattizing i'm like scremaing at my screen going "HE'S 5 HE'S 5 HE'S 5" and every time theyre like "we acn live forever together" like no bitch ur bones rae creaking

also is the officiator white? if anyone knows why or if that's common i'd love to know more. EDIT: HE ISN'T I JUST THOUGHT HE LOOKED LIKE MOBY FROM THAT ANGLE

anyway here

i'm almost done with this fucking bullshit and i am in a really ould mood and usu they make it a bit better but imo it's kind of....annoying i guess balancing all these story elements and introducin gother couples (even in the periphery) since the story in itself can't focus. i feel like all in all the time spent with these two is a lot more limited and we get the feel for the rship because of their chemistry as actors, irl chemistry as friends and colleagues, and hopefully being happy and working on a good set. so it isn't the strength of the writing or production.

for some reason they get like less dynamic ways of being together which i think is part of their charm, they do things their own way, but the writers really should have substantiated this more. it's really just the way everyone in the show has managed to deliver these AWFUL story lines and production decisions (like seriously who the fuck was on costume? lighting?)

like maybe hot take but all the moments that are cringe and insane in the show are not pleasant, per se, because they aren't thought out clearly. so they're not a joy to watch in the normal sense but the actors are good enough to pull it off. i didn't cringe at the talks they had because it felt like actors like acting these lines out instead of us being embarrassed for it and you CAN TELL theyre embarrassed.

this is a huge kudos to the casting director and the actors and whatever crew that actually did a good job. i don't particularly like watching bo xiang and his grandfather husband not because of the content but because i feel like, to me, they're so awkward even though they have chemistry. i don't have that issue with xing si and his rapist brother boyfriend because watching them is actually really pleasant, it's intimate. this isn't to do with the story though because when it hits you how devoid this other person is and how stupid the situation is it changes (for me, for me, for me, this is all my opinion think whateverrrr u want im not telling u 2 ok!)

so truly kudos to this cast. idk if i'm misremembering here but imo the most cast appropriate series in this was crossing the line and close to you. one is a decent atmosphere and execution (yes even with that brother story line, notice the major key differences though because that's a sincere false equivalence. they try to execute power imbalances soooo badly and then fail every time but here's one meant to shock too and it was just likelmao ok girl?)

it may not make sense to say either in a writing way or for the character to do it but i believe that whoever the characters these people are supposed to be especially those super not well written on the page still get that message aacross (yong jie's actor is a good ex. not sure if i should ccongratulate him for having the worst job on earth and the worst character and his character is flat but. ostensibly they should let their actions speak for themselevs but what they do is they back themselves into a ccorner with unsuretyabout their characters or a dilemma that pops up they just want to excuse it. well guess hwat u couldnt do enough legwork. but to some extent the disposable side couple works here on a um "our eyes see them and get it" way

also to me it seems like they chose this story just to have this specific wedding. like it's a timely topic and i'm pretty sure like another provision? (correction? idk) was made WRT taiwanese same-sex marriage so it's topical but it isn't like a "papa and daddy" situation where they're interacting in it and there (for ex: the pride parade) and there being like real life terms and consequences. here it seems like they were like ah yes wedding ah yes dumb couple from modc bc we kiled off the other one sooooo (then outsource them to life love on the line u__u) then hamfisting in some fucking message which is funny bc

- despite the hints peppered in and the clear attraction they both acknowledge ur like ~not gay just him~ even tho...i mean i just. again they dont read over what they write i don't think considering. but wahtever.

- the only gay dude (verbally said) is with his rapist brother with an awful power dynamic oh or IS a rapist (gao) (or his brother but i think it was just a "im a psycho so it's him" thing unless they said it. in which case idc cos i wasnt paying attn but that's also not great) or i guess the wedding but like....that's also a ridiculously inappropriate and dumb relationship taht it's built on. i mean i don't really see much respect her so i dont particularly want to hear abt gay weddings being important when they didn't even utilize it in the story beforehand and have we ever. this is a huge indication to me that it was a reverse engineered chosen story beforehand (if it was one) or thought of

soooooo

so reversal of that....it didnt give us enough time to breathe with these two at all but for both of the actors they can capitalize what's on the page and the writers didn't. like their dynamic is very i give/you give like taking car eof each other etc that's why

again, no artist worth their salt will ever say their work meant nothing. that's a cover up. i'm sick of lazy production and then getting away with it claiming being subversive or attacking an issue by not doing anything. we show crazy shit all the time but it has a POINT and ur point is "i like the gays" then girl.....i mean it's not great

but the acting really carried it. i have a feeling if this series continues it might continue to use more experienced actors cos maybe the budget goes up but they also have less inhibitions now when it comes to acting. i like the way li chen expresss himself and teng teng too. i like anson a lot and there's some angles that did not do any favors and i think eh has to get more control of his body movements (bc he's SO LARGE and thin) but he wasn't bad at all and there were real human tears. of course i, personally, favor charles tu. he has more control over his body because he has...less to work with and he's a bit bigger and he was really great in this role. he's a himbo a bit of a meathead but you like him. you like them. there's some things i think they had them say and do that they wouldn't let happen if they stuck to the characters and the story (mainly liking that dumb idiot rapist)

what i notice is that the reprehensible actions people criticize others for in the show and in real human life lalways gets turned around. teng teng being surprised that this boy's grandfather boyfriend met him when he was a junior in high school and he's 12 years older and him apologizing for being shocked and then whatshisface going "ur better at it than most people" and then the convo about gao with whatshisface and then rapist brother comes to pick him up. they are admonishing gao but thinking that rapist brother is noble for doin gwhat he did (and oh rapist brother shows up) like the hypocrisy and the decisions are immense. so now it's like "guys see he's a great guy" like girl STICK TO SOMETHING but whatever so i live in this universe where muren and li chen do everything right and have lots of different interesting fun seex with all their friends. i would write this but i cannot i am dying

[zozophoenixxx]

Friendly reminders about The Flash⚡️

Things I had forgotten or little details I just noticed on my rewatch, maybe even Unpopular Opinions 🤭👀

✨Season 3✨

Flashpoint... oh gosh I used to hate this episode, I literally always skipped it but this time I'm gonna watch it you guys I promise😂

Nvm this episode might not be so bad, we get to see Barry all happy and with his mom and Dad and i-🥺

Omg do y'all remember in season 2 when Barry, Cisco and Harry went to E-2 to stop Zoom and Cisco said that he thought his doppelganger would be like a rich tech genius or sum like that... Not Cisco from flashpoint being a rich tech genius 🤭😃😂

Caitlin... She's a pediatric eye doctor🤭🥲😂 (flashpoint)

Wow wtf I had completely forgotten about Julian 😳

I swear I hate it when they mess so much with the timeline, I just can't keep up

West-Allen kiss count (approximately): 30😘

⬆️ approximately bc I might have messed up 😅

Wow I thought season 3 was all savitar, I did not remember alchemy

Rival, Magenta (portrayed by Joey King, we love her),ɹǝʇsɐɯ ɹoɹɹıɯ and top, monster, shade, plunder, abra cadabra

OK Y'ALL I JUST NOTICED THAT IN THE MAGENTA EPISODE *breathes in* Barry and Iris go on their first date and electric love was playing... The fact that that's the song used in the trend where you kiss your best friend seems rights

Jesse got her powers 😃 we stan Jesse Quick⚡️

CECILE AND JOE I-🥺

Bro HR 🥺

Julian really was a b*tch at the beginning of this season, but his accent tho🥴🤤🥵

That height difference between Cecile and Joe is what I need in life I love them 🥰

Iris is such a badass bro I love her

Savitar is apparently the Hindu god of motion 🤭

Killer frost episode 🤭😃 I love the fact that Caitlin got powers but I still felt so bad for her like she didn't want that, she didn't want to hurt anyone 🥺

She really said some pretty hurtful things to Barry, he messed up everyone makes mistakes 🥺

Barry tricking Killer Frost into turning back into Caitlin was 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and then when she wanted to apologize and Cisco just hugged her and Joe too i- 🥺❤️🥺❤️🥺❤️🥺❤️🥺❤️🥺❤️🥺❤️🥺❤️🥺 I think that was the first time when we saw Joe And Caitlin hug 🥺

Julian's such an ass bro he really forced Barry to quit and he really did just to protect Caitlin

Y'all ever get chills or just overall goosebumps whenever the music from the other shows start playing in the crossovers? No? Just me? Cool just wanted to know 😅

Felicity fangirling is me

Also Diggle throwing up every time Barry takes him from somewhere is hilarious or just him being done with anything that's not normal 😂

Bro supergirl I- 🥴🤩

NO AND THEN SARAH AHDHAHHAHAA she really said "it's kinda hot" (referring to Supergirl being a bad ass) when they were training lmao I cantttt

Cisco was getting visions of Dante, who was actually Savitar, and was manipulated into opening the box which brought Savitar out and really if it hadn't been for Caitlin, Barry and Wally would've been killed

DANG CECILE AND JOE JUST KISSED WOWWW😁

Their apartment i-

HR really got them a turtle named McSnurtle y'all i-

GYPSY

That scene where they told Joe that Iris was meant to die in the future was so🥺😞😩 I don't even know how to describe it

wally and Jesse were cute 🥺🥰🤌

Cisco and Harry were kinda mean to HR🥺

Grodd just tried to kill Joe and Harry and Cisco came up with a way to see into Grodd's memory through Joe and Istg Joe's face lmao, he's just so done with everything 😂

Dang Grodd's plan really was to kill everyone with nuclear missiles by controlling that military guy and Barry had to try every password combination to stop it just like he did in season 1 or 2 (idk lmao) when he was helping Snart and his father with a robbery

Y'ALL BAHSHHHAHAHA I love GYPSY she really just straight up kissed Cisco and went like "even if I did [like you] you couldn't handle me"

AND CISCO was all like "I'll marry that woman"😩😳😂💀

BARRY DID NOT JUST PROPOSE

Y'ALL WHAT I THOUGHT THIS WAS WAY LATER

I love that scene where they tell everyone 🥺

Bro why was Barry always so mean to Wally like I know he was stressed out about Iris but bro it wasn't Wally's fault 🥺

OMG JULIAN JUST KISSED CAITLIN🥺 they're adorable

Wally did watch Iris die

Jesse moved to E-1 when she was dating Wally for a bit and she stayed at Joe's house with the both of them

Savitar used The Greek myth of Atla to explain why he needed Wally to get out of the speed force ➡️ Atla can't let go of the sky without having someone take it from him.

Ok so by taking a part of the philosopher stone before it was thrown into the speed force, Caitlin technically kept Savitar from coming back. So if Wally hadn't had those visions where Savitar manipulated him into throwing that little piece of rock into the speed force... He wouldn't have been able to escape

That was kinda hard to explain. Idek if it made sense I'm sorry y'all I'm not good with words 😂

I love Harry 🥺

NOT EDDIE IN THE SPEED FORCE 😳

Ok y'all but whenever y'all watch it or rewatch it, there's this very cute and funny scene in S3 E16 min 17:00 between Caitlin And HR where she takes away his drumstick and he just takes out another one but it's very adorable because they keep messing around🥺

Bro the speed force was really being b*tch to Barry when he was trying his best to save everyone and change the future 😩😞

And Jesse was so mean to HR on Ep16🥺

Jay saved them 🥺

Ok relationships are so confusing wtf

THE MUSICAL EPISODE, MON-EL, SUPERGIRL OMG ITS BEEN A WHILE WTH!! Imma rewatch supergirl too😃

Melissa Benoist is so gorgeous 🥴🤩

The way Barry looked at her when she was singing I-

I love their friendship but I kinda ship them too🥺

OH I REMEMBER! this guy was trying to teach them a lesson about love, because they were both having relationship problems

He was also on glee. THE 3 OF THEM! I-

Darren Criss, I didn't know his name

I love this episode

Cisco and Winn And Malcolm singing and dancing, this couldn't get better

Omg I would love to see a Winn-Cisco-Felicity trio. I feel like they would work so great together 😁

IRIS AND MON-EL well actually Tommy Moran and Millie

Their fathers being gangsters is hilarious and their accents 😂

Everyone's facial expressions when John revealed that he was also an Alien 😂

Millie having 2 dads and those being Stein and Joe is great lmao although I never knew if it was because they were hay or it was more like Barry's situation 😂

JOE AND STEIN SINGING AND BARRY IN THE BACK Y'ALL IM🤭🤩🥺

I never thought I needed this 🥰

THEIR DUET IS COMING VDXHSBFVDHA

THEY'RE DANCING 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

This is officially one of my favorite episodes 😃

When they got shot they were very worried for each other and I just love their friendship

HE'S ABOUT TO PROPOSE, HE'S SINGING AHHHHH

COME RUNNIN HOME TO YOUUU 🎶🥺

I really liked how in the episode where Caitlin gets hurt when Abra Kadabra throws a bomb, Julian's the one to operate on her and Iris is right there with him trying to help out, even though they weren't truly friends until later on it shows that they're all really a family

And also Wally and Barry carrying her to the room 🥺

Also the fact that it was Caitlin guiding Julian through her own surgery shows how strong and amazing she is I love her 🤩

Caitlin (killer frost actually) is the 1st to know who Savitar is

BRO CECILE JUST TOLD JOE SHE LOVES HIM AND HE DIDNT- this got too ~umconfy~

Bro killer frost's outfit is pretty hot 🤩

Cisco was afraid of killing Caitlin on accident and that's why he didn't shoot her whenever they were trying to get her🥺

"She's my best friend... And I'd rather it be me than her"

I love him. And I love their friendship.🥺😞

BAHSHAHHA do y'all remember when they erased Barry's memories?

He's hilarious

JAHSHAHAJAJ and now they left him alone with Wally who told him they're basically brothers AND BARRY STRAIGHT UP GOT HIS HAND OUT OF HIS POCKET AND LOOKED AT HIS SKIN COLOR I-

Barry loved anime

He's so happy without his memories, he's gone through so much 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Snart prevented Barry from killing King Shark

HR and Tracy 🥺

The way HR blamed himself after he told Savitar where Iris was and the fact that he does end up saving her at the end is...🥺

Bro I felt really bad for Savitar later

But then he betrayed and 🙂

And now Barry just left

I swear I hated this cliffhanger sm

Cause whenever I started watching it this was the last season and I-

Also Iris killed Savitar

[mxrcayong]

tag game; the interview

Tagged by: @lucas-wongs

Tagging: @pastelsicheng @kopikokun @stayinzencity  @urlocalnctstan @sunflowerhae 

n. 1 | Why did you chose your URL?

I kind of combined all the NCT members who got me really involved with NCT in the first place. So namely, the person who peeked my interest in NCT was Taeyong after my friend showed me his solo stuff and black-on-black but my first ultimate bias was Mark and then my friend’s bias (who showed me Taeyong) was Lucas (and he later became one of my major biases) So it was mxr for Mark, ca for Lucas, and yong for Taeyong (so I pronounce it mark-ah-yong) And then I was debating changing it now that I’m basically biased for all 23 members (some to different extents to others but I’m always tied with like 7 people for ultimates) but then it just felt catchy and I didn’t think I could come up with a better name than that that isn’t taken already.

n. 2 | Any side blogs? If you have them, name them and why you have them?

Initially no. Technically this is my side blog. I had a private personal blog I used to treat as a journal but then after too long with my focus on NCT and way too many “I am following you, just in a personal blog”, I basically wiped it and turned it into a random blog where I repost content that excites me / stories I like to read / whatever I want thats less personal and depressing as it was before haha… It’s @mxrcayong-main. TBH the main reason was to build better relationships with my mutuals - like they never see if I read their posts or like their stuff because my personal blog was just strange and I didnt want people to really see it. 

n. 3 | How long have you been on Tumblr?

Honestly…very long. This blog hasn’t been too long though. This started as an NCT blog March 2020, but my first ever post was about Sehun in February 2020 (which was supposed to be a one off post haha). I once had a 5SOS blog, and then a Tom Holland one, and then now this haha. I have deleted the 5SOS one, unable to delete the Tom Holland one bc I lost access to it, and now I am on this :) I low key wanted to regain access to my Tom Holland one because I’m simping again but I lost details to the email I signed it up to.  

n. 4 | Do you have a queue tag?

I have a queue post? Does this count? 

n. 5 | Why did you start your blog in the first place?

Honestly, it was the first lockdown and I was bored. 

n. 6 | Why did you choose your icon / pfp?

For the Lucas one; I liked the aesthetic. My favorite kind of aesthetic is this vintage, faded, film kind of look. For me, I think one of the most profound and important things we have as humans are these vivid memories so any photo that kind of mimics this feel is super gorgeous to me. Also Lucas is stunning.

I used to have a Haechan matching aesthetic to the Lucas one, but I recently decided to turn it blue. I chose Mark because I’m the biggest simp for him (alongside with Jeno and Haechan mostly). This is purely because blue is one of my favorite colors; it always calms me down, and I just thought the aesthetic and composition of this photo really pleases me. Like, it also fits my vibe a bit more of the ‘softie’ and my friend even says I fit the ‘blue vibe’ more idk haha. I just come onto Tumblr for escapism and write for escapism, and blue helps calm me down so I wanted this escapism to be calming y’know haha 

n. 7 | Why did you chose your header?

I don’t have one!

n. 8 | What’s your post with the most notes?

My post with the most notes….honestly isn’t one im the happiest with but someone requested it so I tried to do it justice but idk I dont like writing fics too far in the future yk?? but the one with the second most notes that I really love is called “Come Home To Me” 

n. 9 | How many mutuals do you have?

I can probably count on one hand haha I want to get to know people, but I’m really scared to. I gotta say tho, I’m so grateful for all the mutuals I have - but especially @pastelsicheng and @kopikokun because they really stuck with me through some bad times I’ve had. also, tons of love for @sunflowersora for being my first supporter on this app and low key motivation to keep staying on the app <3 

n. 10 | How many followers do you have?

Just around 200, so not too much compared to others, but I still can’t believe that there’s 200 people who like my stuff. 

n. 11 | How many people do you follow?

A lot! 

n. 12 | Have you ever made a shit post?

…probably? 

n. 13 | How often do you use tumblr each day?

When I don’t have exams, I use it everyday. Just because I’m in a somewhat bad headspace right now, I check it maybe every second day or just have shorter use sessions. But when I have exams, maybe once a week or two weeks. 

n. 14 | Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Who won?

Not really? 

n. 15 | How do you feel about “you need to compare this” posts?

I’ve never seen these posts but the title suggests that I’d dislike them. Especially with the words “you need to”. Like, let people live how they want to; don’t compare to others. 

n. 16 | Do you like tag games?

I really do! Honestly, I have to say I still don’t feel like I belong on the Tumblr community? Like I feel like I’m a newbie still finding their place. Theres a lot of times where I question that if I just leave, no one would be excited to see my posts anyway / no one will notice. So having tag games just kind of reminds me of the moots I’ve made who are a big part in making me feel like I have a place here <3 

n. 17 | Do you like ask games?

I haven’t done one yet!! I want to do it but I’m just nervous I won’t get any responses? 

n. 18 | Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

…All of them lol. I think @pastelsicheng is hella known for the murder replay story she did and I was a huge fan of a lot of them before they followed me back

n. 19 | Do you have a crush on a mutual?

Not a crush-crush but a platonic crush? Idk if its a common idea but basically like “holy shit I wanna get to know them” but i have social anxiety lol

[trashbinbackyard]

any kind of relationship is applicable so... familial 1-10 for borys and lew, romantic 11-20 for serena n konow and platonic 21-31 (32 if ya like) zoe and reno if that's available yet

everything goes!

Brothers Sagar

1. What is their relationship to each other?

Bröthers, Lew is the elder and more chaotic and disappointment to the parents while Borys is the more respectable one

 2. How did they first encounter each other? What did they first think about each other? 

Lew when he was five and Borys was born, upon seeing his newborn brother, he just said, “ew”

3. What is their relationship like now?

Borys will forever be salty about Lew getting promoted to captain when he had worked much harder and generally be more reliable. But he’d also die for Lew if he had to. 

Lew likes to tease Borys and calls him a baby all the time. He’s not as miffed about Borys as he is about Lew and would not hesitate to die for him either.

 4. What will their relationship be like in the future?

Borys finally gets his rank of knight captain while lew is... promoted... to spy master. But they both agree this is more Lew’s alley anyway so Borys is not as salty as he used to be. Lew is also and uncle now so that’s neat. They keep close contact and are now little more close than they used to be (not that they weren’t close before, just more now)

 5. What traits does each person find endearing in the other?

Lew can respect Borys being dutiful and kind and smart, he feels like he fucked up his teen/early adult years so bad but at least their parents can be proud of one (1) son.

Borys find Lew’s antics increasingly amusing and he’s always fun to be around.How he’s always up for shenanigans and how fiercely protective he is

 6. Which traits does each person find annoying in the other?

While Lew’s shenanigans are amusing, most of the results are.. not. Lew is very short sighted and bit of a loose cannon when it comes to life choices. Also, not that great taste in partners

Lew would like Borys to lighten up a little, stop being so high and mighty goody-two-shoes, dont you just want to go apeshit

 7. How often do they see each other? How often do they talk to each other?

In Lew’s early 20′s they didnt see each other at all with Lew being in some gang. When Borys joined the military in his 20′s Lew finally showed up with one fith of his fingers missing and hanged around in Glasford. They later relocated to the eastern outpost where they shared their duties and got up to some sibling shenanigans. 

 8. Could they live together easily? Why/why not?

They pretty much lived in the same barracks all the way up to Lew’s career change when he returned to Glasford. It went pretty well, and all their fellow soldiers knew about the brothers, just keep their sleeping quarters separate bc Lew would keep Borys awake all night

 9. How much physical contact would these characters have with each other? 

Hugs, fist bumps, chest bumps, flying nut high fives, you know, bro stuff

10. What would they get for each other as birthday gifts?

Borys gives Lew two stick and says he found his fingers. Otherwise they just get each other some beer, no need to be fancy or creative

How to get disowned by your family 101

 11. What hobbies do they share, if any?

Both ride horses, Serena for fun and Konow more out of duty but, you know, when it’s two of them on an outing it’s no longer duty

 12. Do either of them have any hobbies or interests which annoy the other? 

All the high magic stuff goes over Konow’s head a little, but not to the point of annoying. 

13. Do any of their beliefs (religious, moral, or otherwise) differ? Do they conflict strongly?

Serena’s main god is Leeo, the god of wisdom and magic, for obvious reasons, but Konow leans more to Devia, but they’re n the same pantheon so it really doesn’t matter, Leeo is bit of a niche god anyway and in Thani the main gods are Devia and Frara

 14. Who is the better cook? Who is better at general household tasks?

Konow because he makes his own food more often than not, Serena, is a rich kid with servants in the manor, she’s not helpless but just not used to doing household stuff

 15. Which of them is more adventurous? Is the other adventurous enough to go along with them? 

Serena for sure, it was her idea to run away go study to Asaya. Know would’ve been fine with staying in Thani but Serena asked so nicely

16. Would they go on holiday together, and where would they go? 

Their entire two years in Asaya was one big holiday, they also ventured more south to Esweck

17. When one is feeling down, how does the other respond? 

Konow offers a listening ear and a holding hand. Serena if she notices Konow is feeling down she’ll make an excuse to leave the manor ground with him to be just to two of them or order everyone out of her room to have only Konow there so he can openly tell what’s going on

18. If one was in a difficult life situation, what would the other do for them?

Their entire dynamic is one difficult life situation. First they stayed hidden, Serena taking blame if they would be caught so nothing would happen to Konow, then they ran away, Konow keeping Serena safe in strange lands. They both look out for each other

 19. Has one ever had to stop the other from making a very foolish decision? And did the other listen to them?

It’s usually Serena who is about to do something that Konow has to stop. She listen to his reasons. But the most foolish of the decisions they made Together, at the same time, without consulting each other

 20. Has one ever strongly encouraged the other to make a big decision? Did they go through with it? 

Serena, convincing Konow to leave with her. He of course went through with it and it easily was the best decision in his life (the crashing of a wedding is only the second best bc boy howdy was he embarrassed)

Bounty dudes 

21. How would one feel about the other being in love (with them or with someone else)? 

They both would be rooting for the other, Reno seeing the kind of messy divorce of Zoe and Zoe comforting Reno when he widowed. They wish the best for the other, and think the other deserves all the happiness

22. Are there any other people who are a part of both their lives, e.g. friends or family members they share?

The entire bounty hunter office of citadel is their family at this point, Reno might be familiar with Zoe’s son and Zoe is rather close with Reno’s kids and grandkid too

 23. How does each person feel about the other person’s family members and close friends? Do they get along with them? 

Zoe gets along, she might a little intimidating at first but she gives no reason for any friends or family to be afraid of her. Zoe’s ex Knows of Reno and would greet him if they ever run into each other but they’re not close. Zoe’s son is little afraid of Reno (like he is of her mother too)

24. Do either of them get jealous over relationships the other one has with friends/family/romantic partners/other people?

Nah, they’re pretty chill, though Zoe is a little jealous how Reno is not divorced and she sometimes thinks why her marriage didn’t work (and then she goes to therapy)

 25. Is either person jealous of the other’s wealth or possessions? 

They earn the same so no need to be jealous of money

26. If the pair of them had to look after a young child or pet, what would happen?

Reno would be the more competent one and Zoe... she tries, oh my god does she try but she’s pretty stubborn and if something small goes wrong she’ll have a Moment

 27. How far would each go to protect the other?

They’ve both in the past jumped to danger to haul the other to safety, plenty of scars to prove those times. This day Zoe takes on all the complaints and responsibility from the police and the public so Reno can focus on their people and not worry about those things

 28. Is there anyone else that each person would protect over the other, if they had to make a choice?

Zoe would die for her son. Reno would do the same for his family too probably, both acknowledge the fact. (but i can’t think of a situation rn where they would have to make that choice)

 29. If one died, how would the other respond? What would happen to them afterwards?

Deep grief, they’ve been comrades since rookies, they’ve shared pretty much everything and no other friend would ever replace them

 30. How far would each person follow the other? Would they trust them enough to commit crime because the other asked them to?

If Zoe is in big fights with police Reno would back her up, if she’s upset with something the justice system i feel like he would trust her reasoning. Same with Zoe to Reno, if he goes against the grain she’d be 100% on board. But no crimes, they’re bounty hunter after all (unless the law is unjust then yea)

 31. If one wronged the other badly, would the other forgive them easily?

After long talks and time to cool down, explain why they did it and promise to consult them in the future

[digitalbounce-digitalsound]

Currently on the verge of a massive breakdown my guys 👌👌

Not only have my parents never accepted me for being Non-binary, I find out that as well as my mums being transphobic, my dad is a biphobe?

The thing is, I've been out as Bisexual to my parents (my birth mum and my dad) since I was 14. That's 9 years I've been out. They both didnt care when I first told them and makes sense yeah? I mean, my mum is gay, my step-mum is bisexual and my dad is a transvestite.

But both my mums are raging transphobes so when I came out as non-binary (well forced out in the middle of pride) they didnt take it well. Constantly using my birth pronouns, refusing to use my chosen name (Or even my chosen nickname that I have used specifically to make the transition easier for others) they misgender my trans friends and always look disgusted in me.

My birth mum has always gone out of her way to make me seem like a fucking trender when I came out, nothing changed, I've used the bi label for as long as I can remember and more recently, the trans and nb labels. She will go out of her way to say things like "oh, so you're bi now? I thought you were pansexual like, last week" or "but I thought you were gay" and with my gender identity shes worse saying shit like "if you were really trans you wouldnt wear this." "Your hair wouldnt look like that if you were trans."

What's worse about that is my step-mum joins in. My BISEXUAL step-mum joins in. And if I joke around calling her gay she gets assy. She seriously, to my face, calls my sexuality and gender made-up and then gets assy that I corrected her.

Now, I'm almost used to that kind of shit, I just dont see them often. Clears it right up. But now, I have nowhere to go.

My dad recently told me that he hates that my generation "complicated things" saying how back in his day there were only gay and straight, man and woman. (Not trying to think of all the historical examples I could have given him that he is blatantly wrong).

He said that bisexual is made up by straight people who want attention which is entirely untrue (even more so when you consider I'm a gay leaning bi)

And originally when I told him I was non-binary he straight up shouted at me and threatened me before saying to my face that I'm not allowed to do this because I'm just an attention seeker who is trying to be interesting 👌

My siblings are almost as bad. (More specifically my younger brother.) He has many cis friends, a couple trans and surprisingly enough, some enby friends. He uses their correct pronouns and names but he has said straight to me "I wont respect your pronouns because I dont want to." And yet he perfectly respects my friends pronouns?? I dont understand.

My older sister is not that bad. She is the only one in my immediate family that doesnt know but I think she has noticed something is off. She tries not to use my name and will just kind of gesture? But at this point I'm too scared to say anything because I know she'll probably just be like the rest of my family.

As a quick nudge, both my siblings are straight cis, I'm the only one that doesnt match either of those descriptions. It honestly does make me feel like I am that one fucked up sibling. I dont WANT to be different. I fucking dont! This is who I am and I cant help it. I hate that I'm different but shouting at me and being assholes isn't going to change that.

It's not just my sexuality and gender that they scrutinise either which makes this family feel less like a family and more like jailers.

I dont understand why I try to express myself anymore. My step-mum has said to my face before that my whole family (THE WHOLE FAMILY) didnt believe in me being able to go to uni. They all thought I would fail.

For years, since I was very young, I've been called a Hypochondriac for actually going (and wanting to go) to the doctors when I'm ill. To the point that since I was about 17 I've been terrified to go to the doctors because I never think I'm sick enough or that I shouldn't bother the doctors because there might not be anything wrong with me (this has led to me almost being hospitalized with major infections and health issues more than once)

I struggle to breathe 24/7 and yet I'm too scared to get help for it incase they put me on anything (which I know my dad will guilt me into throwing away which would be a waste of money).

I feel like no matter what I do they're never pleased at me. Those 6+ years I did of dance? My parents hated it so I changed to business and language. Those near 15+ years of music, singing (church choir as a soprano & alto and school choir as an alto) and instruments, my mum genuinely laughed at my music teacher in year 10 for asking if I'll be joining up with the choir again bc my mum thought I couldnt sing.

I like cosplay, making props and costumes (for over 4 years)? Mum tells me I'm shit at it and should put my time into something useful.

I like languages so start it as a degree doing Japanese, Korean and German with extra classes in Spanish and French? My dad turns horribly racist and makes jokes about languages and how they're useless, my mum tells me that languages is a stupid degree to do because there isn't any money in it unless I'm a teacher. (I'm going into translation)

It seems like whatever I do, it's never good enough. My siblings get all the praise and help but I get nothing. Currently, while I'm between my uni and an international uni, I'm homeless. I sleep on a mattress in the middle of my dads living room. I have no privacy and have to clean up their colossal hoarding messes to be allowed to stay. I have nowhere else to go and nearly all of my friends live up north where I belong. I have 2 friends down here and no money to do anything.

Honestly dont even know why I'm on this planet some times.

Sorry. Rant over. Anyone got any tips or whatnot, I'd really appreciate it.

-Killian.

[killapunk]

the weirdest, NO, evilest, person i have every worked for

no real names are used in this piece. i refer to other weirdos and freaks throughout, sorry its a long read (i didnt intend for this) but its one of those things ya gotta settle into and believe me its a wild ride. this saga covers over three years of drama btw.

tw: mental health mentioned (inc panic attacks), chronic illness mentioned and mild sex references 

i am going to single out jess. shes more evil than a weirdo but weirdo nonetheless. pete is a secondary weirdo in this saga.

i work in retail for a long time. a fashion store to be precise. i started out in one store but transferred when i started studying at uni and remained there for the majority of the retail career. during my time there i had three managers, the longest one, who is also a fucking weirdo was pete. now before i worked with pete, before he transferred to our store. i didnt like pete when i started working with him, he annoyed the fuck outta me. but my life circumstances changed and my mental health issues got very bad AND i was diagnosed with cfs so i had to disclose it w him. turns out… he was fucking mental too, very understanding, super chill. we liked the same shit. great boss. 11/10 every time.

he would be my reference for every job ever…

…but. he started gettin involved w jess. now to jess. the main character in this piece.

jess had started at the company around the same time as me and we were always on the same level until the last year or so. jess was a bit older than the average age of staff at the store (17-20) and was 23 when this drama started. she had a college diploma, went onto do something semi-successful but related to her HND. but blew all her money, moved back into her parents and started working at the store part time and then onto full time. she was like…the perfect retail girl? small, cute, slim, bubbly… always looked cool in her uniform. customers loved the fuck out of her. 

jess had a bf when i first started and pete had a longstanding gf. jess and her bf ended things abt 4 or 5 months before pete and his gf. but i remember they started gettin cushy around about this time. im not sure if its cos im v sympathetic towards pete (a true kind soul who i hold v dearly in my heart) but even tho youd be thinking ‘boss abuses his power’ …jess was and still is fuckin manipulative and he has longstanding mental health issues and i just think she sorta got the ball rollin’. pete and his gf didn’t seem on good terms, i dunno the full story but it seemed like they should have broken a long time before the did.

i think the fortnight before pete and his gf broke up they were spotted hanging out together near where she lived. it was this hush hush thing that everyone giggled abt cos there was at the time talk they were fuckin. when it got out, after his breakup jess said she was ‘just being a friend’ cos he was ‘going through a tough time’. 

jess got promoted to keyholder even though she didnt really (at the time) have the skills or confidence to be a keyholder. and then she started to try and fuckin control the work. back during this time, everyone who worked at the store, minus literally 3 people, had worked for the company for at least a year. the store ran very well, we were always in profit. nothing went wrong. but. she started changing processes because it 'made things easier when she was opening’. like. she made everyone tally the amount of people they served in the fitting room in one box and tally the amount of things people left behind so she could make a sales chart. idk if that’s normal in other stores but like? it was just nuts and impossible to do.we always put deliveries away out the package but not folded in a particular way. she made everyone tag and (where relevant) hang items bc she had to pick everything in the morning. 

she became friends w most of the girls, including one of the supervisors. they ruled the workplace. it was a total gossip mill. she gaslit the fuck outta people. one already less-popular girl at work ended up quitting cos she kept blaming her for fuck ups, she kept getting write ups and it was impating her mental health. she spun people against her. less popular girl spoke up and called her a bully and jess acted all defensive and said she wasn’t a bully bc shed been bullied before? jess continued to fuck up the workplace. next she turned on two people in her own clique. one tbh, i think she was jealous of bc jess had always wanted to be a teacher and this gal was training to be one. the other girl was v like jess, just not a bitch… strongwilled, liked control. anyway, drama got to the point where they had to quit. waay too much drama for this textpost. at this point others started to notice n work became hostile. jess moved her girlgang clique to one of the original clique girls, a different supervisor and the other two full time staff members.

pete obv didn’t listen to people coming to him, as store manager being like… hey… there’s this major clique problem and he’d be like ‘nah everyone is just friends, jess is a bit insecure but yno things are good, people quit, its just retail. fuck it.’ jess accused everyone who didn’t get on w her as being a terrible person. those legit words. like. if someone said it was a shame x, y or z left shed rebut, nah they were shit at their job, they were a shit person. honestly. EVERYONE. was a bad person. even the nicest people in the world were the worst person, the worst at the job. she was a good person, she liked the good people. she HAD BEEN BULLIED AND WOULD NEVER BULLY. she threw the anxiety word around a lot.

once we had a staff night out and i got left alone with jess and pete at the end of the night in this terrible lil bar as i waited for someone to pick me up. this is a good point to mention jess was always weirdly jealous cos i was close to pete. fucking ridic considering he was 14 years older than me and you know my fucking boss??? this night, i was sitting right next to pete, we were both drinking, jess wasn’t (cos she likes to be in control, she even said it), he had his arm around me and was whispering something into my ear that was such a non-thing i don’t even remember. she got her phone out, started texting. he excused himself and when he returned he sat beside her. it was fucking nuts. i couldn’t believe my eyes. we had to basically carry pete out of the bar. jess said to me she was gonna drive him home cos it was on the way to hers (spoiler! it was not!). myself and pete did the open the next day. he came in wearing the same clothes. i mean, he could have just passed out and had to rush to work when he woke up. but. this guy went out a lot. he never repeated an outfit. i think jess took advantage of a very drunk him. similarly, on another night out, jess promised to drive someone home. said person got too drunk and thew up. jess refused to take them home and called them embarrassing, she gave the space in her car to pete.

i had a major bad evening shift at work concerning another staff member, kaylee. a gal who just rubbed me up the wrong way, and who didn’t like me. ill never know why but it was just one of those things where anytime i was on shift w her she would nitpick and bitch about me and just… make me feel not v good. she was possibly the laziest and rudest person i had ever worked with but someone got away with it?

i used her as a way to talk to pete about the general problems in the store (jess). and…it was fuckin surreal. i told him abt kaylee. i told him i thought jess was controlling but kinda laid off a bit like ‘i get she thinks shes doing it for good’ etc. i padded it out w a few other rly petty issues abt the store. i was actually really upset, kinda numb from life to properly let out my emotions. and then. he started cry on me. like this full-on grown man having a panic attack in front of me when i was 19, fucked on diazepam i should have never been prescribed. to this day i visualise it. me and pete were v close at this point, and like, he didn’t mention jess too much – asked me about the other girl and other issues when i came to him. we spoke about personal shit, all but jess. i kinda wonder if he didn’t have the panic attack if i would have told him his under the radar relationship w her was not on?

and then. pete sold me out in the name of jess. idk the full ins and outta everything but he had to confront the drama once and for all cos our figures were so low so he decided to blame it all on kaylee. from my understanding of the situ from a lot of ‘he said she said’ bs, pete had this big meeting w kaylee. was like. 1. do ur job right and 2. stop being rude and unapproachable. the thing is, although kaylee is rude shes one of these ppl who most ppl really liked, not in a jess/regina george theyre scared of you way but…like they thought she was a tv character and she was funny and honest. so i think she confronted some obvious allies, and jess told her, according to another staff member, that i complained about her. after hearing this i obvious went to pete and tbh, acted pretty dramatic (cos if you haven’t fucking learned already THIS STORE WAS FULL OF DRAMA QUEENS). as soon as i heard, i started texting him angrily on his day off. i remember folding something in the fitting rooms and he came up to give me a hug and i was like ‘HOW FUCKING DARE YOU TELL OTHER PEOPLE MY BUSINESS’. i confronted jess, in a lighter tone, cos i obv told pete (half) what i felt about her. jess played the fucking innocent role. like, she said something along the lines of ‘we’re both close to pete n he was so worried that when me, you and kaylee did those shifts together that something would go wrong. so he told me to keep an eye on things and that’s all i told kaylee cos she wasn’t sure why she was being targeted when so many people in this store are treating people badly. i didn’t say you reported her or anything, honestly!!!!’ queue more bs.

after this, jess didn’t bother with me but was never explicit about hating me. if there was a convo going on and i tried to join in she scolded at me for being nosey. if i was unwell (i have cfs) shed moan ‘jokingly’ that i always had to be ill. i think she ripped on me once cos i said i was late for a hand-in at uni.

her next real victim, however, was jack, my best friend in store and our supervisor. jack was getting fucked over in his supervisor role bc pete would schedule jess for anything managerial. jess started a rumour that pete didn’t trust jack bc jack fucked it at a meeting w the other stores (semi true but fucking up a meeting isn’t the end of the world). like. anything jack would be, jess would be on him. by this point 50% of the staff that were around at the start of the story HAD LEFT. jess had driven people out and had the new ones all up her arse.

pete quit. it was sudden.

not long later, facebook popped up with a fuckin ‘pete is in a relationship with jess’ status and pete has never spoken to me again. i left shortly after that, although our new manager was lovely i felt like i was working for jess.

jack ended up GETTING DEMOTED, by petes replacement who had no idea what a shitstorm she was getting herself into. the new manager PROMOTED jess and demoted jack bc she was doing all the supervisor jobs whilst jack was only doing midshifts. he didnt get shafted to the lowest pay and was instead given the title ‘trainer and authorised opener/closer’ whilst still doing the same fucking job. he transferred out, cos that shit is fucking degrading and within, like two months he was put back up his rightful position. yay for my forever work bestie. I

feel like this has been going on for too long now. i think this doesn’t do her justice. like…i cant believe someone who is NOW 26 and who got what she wanted after manipulating a mentally ill man caused so much drama and pain and tension in a fucking clothes store.

fucking horrid. im reading this completely exhausted and so i cant say much but i just feel like these people are always the ones who come out on top, and its so fucked up. im really sorry you had to deal with so many unpleasant people, and your friend as well. 

i swear mediocrity and asskissing is what gets you anywhere in this world, and manipulative cunts like this jess woman take full advantage of that. it’s pretty scary, honestly. amazing how far drama can go, huh. this is why i have trust issues.

i still hope she gets her ass kicked by life, though. there has to be some sort of karmic justice somewhere

i also feel like i should say that there’s always going to be people who won’t like you for some reason. even if you don’t do anything wrong and even though everyone else thinks they’re great. no idea why this happens, but all i can say is there’s really nothing you can do. so FUCK EM (in the most metaphorical sense as they don’t deserve you giving them the time of day)

[jungblue]

Lol I’m actually scared to have sex or even do any penetrative masturbation. Which is okay. Actual sex is not something that’s gonna happen for a long time. I’m 20 and haven’t had a first kiss too 😂😂 I’m also scared to get drunk.

that’s okay. sex can seem scary. you being completely bare in front of someone when you’ve never done that is understandably nerve wracking. just take everything at your own pace and do what you’re comfortable with. as for the penetrative masturbation that’s totally your decision. i would say that there’s nothing to be scared of, but if it’s not something that you want to do then that’s perfectly fine! and eh getting drunk isn’t for everyone. it’s very easy to lose a handle on yourself if your overdo it. so it’s not something you need to do if you don’t want to!

Anonymous said: I just want to say you are a HUGE help from all this sex talk you are giving and that helps a lot coming from a virgin who doesn’t know a lot about sex but I would like to ask if it’s true for your first time that you would probably bleed and hurts a lot? or there just exaggerating from saying that so you wouldn’t lose your virginity at a young age?

i’m glad it can be a bit helpful! but as for your question, no it’s not supposed to be like that. if you’re properly aroused and there’s foreplay involved beforehand it shouldn’t be this life-ending pain that movies and stuff like to describe it as. it might be uncomfortable certainly bc most won’t be used to the stretch that’s going to happen, it’s nothing awful. as for the blood, i won’t say that there won’t be bleeding. personally i’ve had one incident where i bled during sex (and this was years into me being sexually active). the thing was i wasn’t hurting at all. like it felt good and i didn’t even notice until the guy said something. i was freaked out obviously bc it wasn’t my period, so i went to the doctor and they said that everything was fine. it was just being stretched a bit further than i’d usually been that did it. so you might experience bleeding. but the pain is definitely something that shouldn’t be fought through just bc you think that it’s how it’s supposed to feel bc it isn’t 

Anonymous said: This is kind of a funny sex story that I actually oddly feel comfortable telling you. Well, I had sex with my boyfriend and was very tired afterwards and really just didnt want to do anything okay? And I look up at him and tell him I have to pee and he laughs and we start talking about something until he remembers what I told him and I completely forgot until he literally pushed me out of the bed and said "go pee you beautiful human you!" 😂😂 -mognut anon

aww that’s really cute though! uh i hate the fact that you have to pee after sex. like the human anatomy is really fucking up my cuddle time lol

Anonymous said: ive had girls come up to me and tell me they had a lot of sex with a guy but didnt cum and i ask them if they masturbate and they dont? I feel its important to let girls kno exploring their bodies and knowing what they like helps them communicate the things they like during sex with their partners. I used to also believe that penises would magically make me cum but you really have to let the other person know what you like for them to hit that good!

yeah i think that letting yourself relax is a big part of being able to orgasm regardless of if you’re doing it yourself or actually having sex. which masturbating is the perfect practice for this bc you’re alone and there’s no pressure. you can learn so much about your body by masturbating concerning what you enjoy, to which you can then convey to your partner. i do think that it would be difficult to achieve an orgasm during sex in front of another person when you haven’t learned to relax and let it happen while you’re alone. not impossible of course, but it would certainly be easier if you already knew what you enjoyed beforehand

Anonymous said: i honestly have no idea why im even saying this but i have like,, a super high sexual drive and am constantly masturbating (ik tmi) and i read a whole lot of smut,, but when ive been given the chance to actually have sex, which has happened a couple of times,, i kinda, shut down?? idk if that makes any sense. i basically stop everything and tell them that i can't have sex with them and that kinda scares me,, like, am i broken or smth?

oh no please don’t think that about yourself! i promise that’s actually very normal. porn, smut, ect are all very contained. you experience that in your own privacy, which is completely different than opening yourself up to a person during sex. i promise that what you’re experiencing is completely fine. you don’t have to force yourself to be intimate with someone just bc you feel as though that’s what you should do. take your time and wait until you’re comfortable with the idea!

Anonymous said: omg i read through all the “sex” questions and omg i feel so much better about myself. i had a question though, i tried to finger myself once but it didn’t do anything it literally just felt like a tampon or a diva cup. what do i do? bc i’ve never been able to finish other than with like clit simulation

well most girls don’t get off from penetration alone actually, so the fact that you’ve only ever been able to get off from clitoral stimulation is completely normal and actually more common. it’s perfectly plausible that you just don’t enjoy self-penetration. but as a tip i used to also be this way until i started stimulating my gspot and that was how i eventually started reaching orgasms via penetration. you just have to rub against the front of your vaginal wall against the spot that a lot of people describe as uneven or ridgy. just make sure you’re decently aroused beforehand and experiment with different motions until it’s you find one that works for you!

Anonymous said: Honestly can u explain to me what squirting really is ?? Like i read it and i kinda know it but also abit lost about it !! Help

i mean i personally have never squirted, so the only info i have is also just from what you read online and stuff. and from those sources it’s usually just described as a combo of female ejaculate (it comes from some gland or something but i can’t remember) and urine. it’s usually happens when you stimulate the gspot

Anonymous said: hey! you’re so sweet to answer all these questions! i wanted to ask how exactly to shave down there. bc it like grows everywhere and i’m so scared to go anywhere with my razor lol 

Anonymous said: I've tried every trick for shaving, but I get so many ingrown hairs. Like my hair, even just on my legs, doesn't seem to be meant to be shaved. I like the shaved feeling but it's almost not worth the tons of ingrown hairs. The only way I can avoid them is using an electric razor, but of course that doesnt do a completely clean, smooth shave.

shaving can be tricky bc sometimes it seems you can follow all the steps that anyone tells you and the razor burn still happens. there are tons of youtube videos on this actually if you want to go look those up. but as a general run though lots of them will tell you to get a good razor (one with lots of blades. the more blades the smoother the shave and the less it catches the skin), shave in the direction of the hair follicle. also this is just from personal experience, but after you shave you might itch really badly down there. i know it’s tempting but don’t do it. you’re gonna be covered in razor bumps right after if you itch it. so just try to fight through that lol

Anonymous said: Honestly I think I started getting sexual urges pretty late bc I didn't start getting turned on until I was 17 and even then it was super hard, but I just figured out what worked for me. I'm a virgin now and only one person from my group of friends isn't and they're not pressuring me or anything but I just feel kind of left out you know? It just feels like a right of passage that everyone (and that one person) is experiencing except me. I'm going to Uni in 2019 and I'm kinda worried about it lol

i understand that there’s definitely a pressure to experience sex, especially when everyone around you is, but i promise it isn’t something that you should feel the need to rush into. everyone is different and goes at their own pace. sex changes nothing about who you are as a person. just do what makes you comfortable!

[gizmosisbuttons]

Episode 4 was a fandom wide callout post.

all you fools too busy being pissed bc Coran went all show crazy and basically re-characterized the paladins to what the masses found entertaining, to notice that the entire episode was literally a fandom wide call out post. they literally called us out guys. 

lets go over the list of things Coran said/did in ep 4 and compare them shall we?

let me preface this by saying he literally wasn't himself and i still love him just as much as before, my gorgeous man.

”I worked up very specific personas for each of you. This is going to help the audience connect on a much deeper level with each team member.” 

as if they didn't already have defining personalities that make them very likable and awesome? sounds familiar right? its one thing to speculate and theorize based on what we know about a character especially if we don’t know a lot about said character. the writers put a lot of time and effort into developing these characters and even said during an interview once that one of the things that bugged them about og Voltron was that the only properly developed character was Keith. the other guys didn't get a chance to be loved. and that was what they aimed to do, to give every paladin and character the chance to be loved. since the beginning the fandom has been bad at this. taking one teeny trait from each character and twisting them so that the only thing that matters is that trait. 

         “lover-boy lance”

throughout the series lance is known  to flirt with...pretty much every cute alien girl. of course. hes handsome, charming, girls love him. Coran wipes away all of the actually relatable things about his personality in favor of this charming flirt who would win over girls. Lance is insecure, he’s witty, he is the freaking sharpshooter, the teams sniper and their glue. he’s voltrons right hand now for a reason. he got into the garrison which is a military space exploration base, not just anyone gets in. hes incredibly intelligent and a great pilot. amazing really. bc simulations are always absolutely terrible and rarely help. oh yea, and hes charming.but god forbid anyone forget that hes a flirt. who cares about the other stuff that will actually help the audience connect with him. 

        “science wiz pidge” 

its no secret that pidge is incredibly intelligent. she is one of the characters who haven't gotten their developing points until this season. in one of the first flashbacks we learned she nearly gave up studying because some kid decided to be a dick and bully her. Matt pulled her out of it and encouraged her to work hard. later on in ep 4 coran says that her science doesn't need to be factually correct because noone will understand her either way. he undermined her intelligence because . well. noone cares what she says as long as it sounds smart. fanfic writers do this a lot. like. a lot. i understand that you may not have the same knowledge that the girl who hacked herself into a military school base undercover at he age of 14-15 (if the theory that the garrison is a high school program is correct) because she had gotten banned for sneaking in and hacking into the computer system, but if you really do insist on focusing her on her smarts, do some research. no to mention. pidge may be the youngest, but she really is more than science and calculations. shes intelligent yes, but she can hold her own in battle (at the age range of 15-17 with no prior battle training), shes afraid of the possible reality that all her efforts are wasted and Matt and Sam are dead, she is actually pretty social with the paladins (she can even be seen hanging out in the kitchen while hunk makes glass cookies.) and beyond her intelligence, shes wise. shes not just random science facts, she knows how to hold her own in situations outside of battle and books. shes street smart. 

       “lone wolf keith”

now i know this was said to allura, and ill get to that. but if the keith vlog showed us anything, its that  hes not just a moody loner teenager.  i am very guilty of this myself. i portray keith as a human disaster. we don’t know hen he was left alone, we don’t really know much of his story. i head canon that his dad left him to fend for himself but every month woul drop off food or money or something. i head canon hes terrible about taking care of his body. but at least i don’t call him moody and move on.  i give him a background to fill in the blank space, but sometimes i forget and focus too much on his folded arms and  pouty face. he smiles. he laughs. hes an actual precious bean.  but hes also afraid of being pushed away. hes guarded and does his best to be strong. he hides his feelings and protects his heart with everything he has. (geez boi who hurt you). he is not the human embodiment of “teenagers” by mcr. aka he has feelings too. not to mention he also got into the garrison, and was the top pilot regardless of how he got in, if it happened to be by recommendation like most people think. 

      “humourous hunk”

as a hunk stan this one annoys me the most. throughout the episode hunk is consistently embarrassed, and even protests the fart noises, fart jokes, etc. he is purposely tripped for laughs. the fandom forgets that hes not just the fat funny guy, or just the personal chef. hes overcome so much since babies first lion flight, he used to get sick, constantly had to be the voice of reason to keep his teammates out of trouble,  he is just as intelligent as pidge and is actually one of the only people that can keep up with her science stuff. keith and lance even stated that they didnt understand anything they'd said. hes a fantastic engineer even if he had a few tummy mishaps. hes an amazing pilot too, and extremely sassy. he and pidge probably rigged the game console to work in space, And hes pretty friendly and cautious. he is NOT meant to be the comic relief. (say it louder for people in the back)

     “shiro the hero”

a lot of the fandom has taken to calling shiro daddy, sexualizing him (”now put on this tight shirt”) and focusing on shiro and only shiro (shiros the “favorite character” of corans little show). hes great. he really is. and the man needs a break. voltron is a kids show. he isnt meant to  be sexualized, none of them are. hes more than his arms and his leadership abilities. the biggest issue i have with the whole shiro thing. regardless of if hes a clone, when shiro returned he cut his hair differently, and wore short sleeves. everyone i know, including me, said they'd be fine with the clone if he had kept his hair long and “as much as i love the arm view” and didnt change his outfit. its a kid show. his body shouldn't matter.i am also guilty of this, and ep 4 opened my eyes to it. coran lifted shiros arm as if to prove that thats what the audience really wanted. he treats shiro differently bc hes the real star here and everyone should know it. ofc, hes the black paladin. (i wonder where the whole “the black paladin is the only one who really matters here” mindset came from. looking @ u ‘84). shiros may have ptsd, and hes constantly trying to hold himself together for his team, and its obviously not easy. maybe thats why hes got a cute white floof. the stress. 

      alluras erasure  

another point that always bugged me. the fandom either forgets allura exists, or that she is just stealing lances place temporarily. Allura is the blue paladin. while keith is gone, she is not filling in. shes a paladin now too. for coran to call her keith, and constantly call her keith, even though she obviously has a few choice words to say about it, its distrespectful. she says his plan is working and he replies with “why thank you keith...i like to keep you in character” once again, erasing her existence. now im not as well versed in this particular topic, but id like you to keep in mind that he talks to his princess with that mouth, and that she IS the princess and not a fill in while keith leads. feel free to elaborate on this more. 

     coran “fires “ team voltron. 

this. i find extremely entertaining. remember that legal trouble last year bc of the leaks? and right around that time the klance shipper started threatening them if they didn't make it gayer and put keith and lance together? the  fandom, who wanted all of this to happen their way, were threatening to get it cancelled and such just because things didnt go their way. shiro, the leader, disagreed with coran and tries to shut him down. and coran in fit of rage says:

you're a bunch of quitters! quitters! i’m a visionary! i have thoughts, ideas, i dont need you anyway. ill rewrite the show, get rid of the whole lot of you, replace you with new paladins! and the show will be better than ever before!...except for you shiro, ill never get rid of you, you're our most popular character!

this is essentially what the fandom was saying. now, was this definitely their plan, to call us out with this bit, in not sure, but honestly, its almost too coincidental.

the writers have made it clear that they heard us, and have always been listening. and really, thats why i love ep4. you're angry because you know you got called out but haven't admitted it to yourself. the writers do their best to bring us the best show possible, but they cant satisfy everyone. why cant we just be happy about Actual Meme (tm) Matt, and look forward to season five instead of fighting them because we got our shit handed right back to us. weve gotten a  taste of our own medicine, so chill. i enjoy them keeping us on our toes, surprising us with every turn, theyre great writers.who cares if one or two things pissed you off? we both know youre not gonna stop watching.

[mayamatiln]

can u please talk about your love for Johnny DiMarco? gush about it bc me too

sorry it took me so long to answer this. I’ve tried to come up with a coherent way to describe my love for him but I’m not sure this will do it justice but I’ll try. 

Long story short: CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. Not only that but it was subtle character development shown through his interactions as a supporting character. It’s what skyrocketed him to becoming my favorite character because if you didn’t watch him closely you would never pick up on how much he was changing with every new episode he was in. Let me analyze a bit:

Season 6 - He is introduced as just another bully from Lakehurst and honestly I didn’t really notice him until Rock This Town when he was there and watched Drake stab JT. Obviously my initial reaction was to hate both of them so much, just like the other characters on the show did. Especially after he watched it happen then immediately ran away. BUT after watching the episode for the billionth time a crazy thought popped into my head: “Imagine what Johnny is going through in his head.” I mean it was clear by the look on his face that what Drake did was completely not okay with him and he was clearly traumatized by watching it. I realized that he ran away (which was the wrong thing to do) because he panicked and got scared like any 16/17 year old kid would. The show completely skipped over the fact that he was probably heavily interrogated by the cops for possibly being an accessory to murder but I was immediately intrigued by what is possibly going on in this boys head.

Season 7 - When first see Johnny this season he is up to his old bullying ways and in my head I was like “really this kid goes through watching a guy he was bullying die and he just keeps on picking on people like it didnt affect him at all?” But then we get that scene where Toby confronts Johnny about how he watched Drake kill JT and you can clearly see Johnny deflecting and trying to shut it out and forget that it ever happened. To me it was so clear that Johnny was going through some really dark things and the only way he knew how to cope with it was by doing what he usually does and taking it out on other people. He keeps doing this until we get to Bust A Move where we see that Johnny is attending the Red Pines camp along with Darcy. If you weren’t really looking for it you would completely miss him being there but at the beginning of one scene we hear him talking to the group about exactly what I had suspected that he had been going through. He talks about how since JT died he has sorta been off the rails and he keeps asking himself why does he have to be such a jerk. This moment confirmed to me what a complex and layered and extremely human character Johnny was even though he was only a background character. It was the pivotal moment that cemented him as one of my favorite characters. 

Season 8 - These were the seasons where we finally began to chip away at the tough guy exterior and see the real Johnny that he was hiding underneath all because of Alli. Although we only ever saw that relationship from her point of view as a way to tell the stereotypical “young girl gets with older guy and realizes she isn’t as mature as she thinks plot” it was still very clear that the relationship meant a lot to the both of them which wasn’t stereotypical at all. From Alli’s point of view we see her chasing after him but it’s also made very clear that he really does like her just as much (if not more) than she liked him but he was initially too much of a coward to admit it. What was so important about this relationship though is that Alli was the first person, other than Bruce (which doesn’t count), who ever sought him out and genuinely liked him and wanted to get to know him. She was never afraid of him like everyone else was and she was persistent which is exactly what he needed. Like he says in Heart of Glass, she wasn’t just some hook up for him, he genuinely liked her as a person because she took the time to pay attention to him and notice that he is actually kind of a nerd. He likes books and literature and he cares about making sure she gets home on time and buys her a flower when he hopes that she never finds out that he’s the one who sent it and he buys her a heartshaped necklace because he’s never been in a relationship before and he doesnt know what he’s doing. She brought him out of his shell and taught him that he is so much more than a bully and that people outside of his small friend group can genuinely like him. I also want to note how when he lies about her being his first time too, like yes it was bad to lie, but from his point of view he finally found someone who genuinely likes him for who he is and he is terrified of hurting her and her leaving him. Yet again we see Johnny making a big mistake but still it is understandable and realistic because he is in fact a teenage boy.

Season 9 - We start off the season with Johnny making possibly one of the biggest mistakes he has ever made (well at least to me). Him sending Alli’s nudes to Bruce because he was mad that she posted a silly picture of him being HIMSELF was so childish and immature and disgusting. That being said it was completely in character and necessary for his character to hit this low point when things were finally looking up for him. When thing’s don’t go Johnny’s way he has always been known to act out cruelly to those around him and sink deeper into his tight friendship with Bruce who he knows would never leave him. He gets upset and reverts into his old habits and thus loses Alli in the process which is probably the biggest reality check he has ever gotten. Then to top it all off he finds out he has genital warts which seals the deal that he has lost the one person who genuinely liked him and cared about him as a person. He initially reacts just like he always has and returns to picking on others as a way to cope. Then as we get to the episode Why Can’t This Be Love we have another turning point. First I must point out that the part 1 of this episode is one of my favorites because it is the only episode where Johnny has an entire plot from his point of view. In it we see him asking Alli to prom because he clearly still has feelings for her and she immediately turns him down. He tried to rebound and fails miserably because when it comes to talking to girls let’s just say he is a total goof who has clearly lost his touch over the past year with Alli. At prom he sees Alli flirting with Dave at prom and he picks on them out of jealousy, by the end of the episode Johnny watches Alli move on with her life and knows that it is over for good. BUT this is the moment that Johnny also decides to turn his life around. From this moment on we never see him bully or threaten anyone else. He took what Alli taught him and he used it to become a better person and really believe in himself. And to top it all off we get a glimpse that he graduated with honors. I’m so proud of my smart boy!!

Season 10 - We only see Johnny in one episode this season but BOY IS IT A GOOD ONE. I remember when the first promo for Hide and Seek Part 1 came out and you have that moment where we see Sav knocking on the door and then Johnny answered. Let me tell you that I completely lost it. I had come to terms that I’d never seen Johnny or another Bhandarco scene again and it was literally the best blessing ever. Anyway, we see Johnny in college and his amazing slowburn character development arc is finally complete. Seeing Johnny with his life together and being happy and involved in school activities is so important. Him giving Alli advice to get through her hardships was such a beautiful parallel to how she helped him get through his whether she knew it or not. And to top it all off he ended his journey by bringing it all back to the beginning and talking about JT. He mentioned his relationship with his parents and how much of a hard time he had after he watched his best friend kill the completely innocent and harmless JT. Seeing him express how much it truly messed him up was so important especially since he never got the solo plots to tell his side of the story. I still cry when I watch that episode just because I am so proud of the man he has become. Seeing him in this episode also taught that when you go to college you have a change to completely reinvent yourself and let go of any reputations that may proceed you. Also it was a neat way to show that even the terrible people you may have once hated can change for the better and that not everyone’s redemption arc reaches it’s peak once they graduate high school because realistically their lives are just beginning.

Johnny DiMarco managed to witness a trauma just as mind altering as Emma, Toby, and Sean did after Time Stands Still. The only difference is that Johnny never got to have his trauma told from his point of view. He is so underrated because yes on the surface he has done horrible things but in context all of it is completely reasonable and realistic based on the things he has been though. Not only that but he never had one single life changing moment where he realized “yeah I’m over my trauma now I can stop acting this way” much like many characters do when they deal with their trauma during the plot of a single episode. All of Johnny’s recovery was a slow burn over the seasons. With each season he grew more and more mature and he managed to do it all with only ONE plot that centered around him, which was basically a filler plot and nothing really happened. I get hurt when people hate on Johnny because it shows that they really haven’t been paying enough attention to him at all and they aren’t thinking and watching the show knowing that all of the characters are human and incredibly realistic. But unlike many other characters, Johnny never got the proper screen time. 

I like to think that after college Johnny became an English teacher. The cool and rough around the edges kind of English teacher that literally changes the lives of all the kids he teaches. Not only is he passionate about literature, he has the life experience to deal with troubled kids and would easily be able to relate to them and help them through life. Maybe someday he reunites with Alli. Unlike the last time they saw each other they are now both mature and a lot more down to earth. But regardless, I’m so beyond pleased with how Johnny was last seen on the show. They brought his character to an excellent close and did as much justice to him as they could. So all of this is why I love Johnny DiMarco and he is my favorite character that Degrassi has ever had. He had such an underrated and under utilized arc but still he managed to steal my heart. 

[toezi]

KCON

Hello friends so I went to KCON this past weekend……… Here’s my story.

HELL ON EARTH i made a cute kcon vlog and made vanessa sit down with me for a kcon chat about the first day but its too long and do i have time to reedit that? No. so here’s my kcon experience my bros.

KCON DAY 1

Wowie so we had like p5 tickets so we kinda just walked around the convention. We sat in on Joan and Edward’s panel for a while and then we stayed for GoToe and Sunny’s panel and GOTOE IS SO CUTEEE I honestly only used my camera to record him he was…. Adorable. But the panel was so quiet and awkward bc of the language barrier and Sunny wasn’t even talking she was just quietly doing his makeup. And there were only… like 30 people there? It was interesting. Then we bought a few albums (Vanessa bought 2 svt albums and a poster and I got Eclipse and we got AL1 for a friend). We went to this photobooth where you could take a picture with a drama background and they had this wall to vote for your fave dramas and leads and INNOCENT DEFENDANT DESERVED BETTER IT HAD HARDLY ANY VOTES. Anyways we were in line for the picture and we chose the Strong Woman background. As we were walking towards the green screen for our turn we were cut by a bunch of Korean businessmen and they turned around and apologized “I’m so sorry. He’s the president of __” and we honestly didn’t hear what company we kinda blacked out from the shock of these men talking to us. Anyways we were at the green screen to take out picture and I motioned to the photographer like “I am going to pick her up like a baby” and his eyes got so big he was like “Y O U?”. now let me tell you, Vanessa is 5’8 and I am 4’8….. He was like “There’s not much time…. How long can you hold?” anyways we took the worst/best picture ever and he was not amused at all lmao he looked so done with us. So we sat down at food street to wait to be picked up and I opened my EXID album to look at it. Two girls were sitting at our table and were like “Did I hear EXID?” so we started talking about the gorls then they asked if we were here to see VIXX (I was wearing a VIXX shirt) and we were like “No, seventeen” and one had an epiphany and said “WAIT i have a seventeen audience pass” AND WE WERE BOUTTA CRY she only had one tho bUT she also had a red carpet pass so I Took svt and vanessa took redcarpet for $20 each (People had been selling them for $200….) AND WE WERE SHAKING SO MUCH it felt so unreal we were both going to SEE SVT and honestly Eclipse it… the bible… a sacred album tbh, blessed. Then we got some FOOD and ended up sitting with these 3 ladies and they liked my pants and BECAUSE THE LIKED MY PANTS they offered us a bunch of free passes!! They had like 2 oh my girl, 4 Astro, 2 SF9, 1 Kard audience passes and this was literally like 20 minutes later we were SHOOK. We took Oh My Girl and gave them to Mely and Vanessa :^) But honestly we went in expecting NOTHING and the day was so crazy Its been a few days and I still can’t believe how kind people are and how lucky we were it all feels like a dream.

KCON DAY 2

I MET KAYLA WHAT A SWEETIE HI KAYLA IF U SEE THIS UR CUTE AND YOUR DRESS WAS CUTE!! ALSO I MET MELY LIKE UUUHHHHHHHHH ITS BEEN 5 YEARS AND VANESSA DIDNT FIGHT ME THANK GOD. SO we didn’t have many workshops we were planning to attend so my Vanessa and I watched Mely and her Vanessa learn how to dance DWC and Mely was talking up how she wanted to do all these dance workshops AND SHE DIDNT EVEN TRY Mely u looked like a limp noodle. Vanessa was better than u. Then Vanessa and I got some food with Kayla and Sophia (HI SOPHIA NICE MEETING U) and we noticed that it was about 12:30 and the line for SVT’s artist engagement was already forming so we waited a bit and ate as we watched that damn line grow. We eventually got in line and waited for an hour in the sun and it was abuse KCON im suing u. But Vanessa waited TWO HOURS in her line for saturday’s red carpet but she’s got more melanin than me. AND we talked to some really nice people in line IDK who ya’ll are but I lvoe you!! Anyways. We were like? In the 3rd row in the audience and there were a few people letting me get in front of them because I’m TINY and one really nice girl who was just a bit taller than me was trying her best to help me get by tall people and she was so sweet I wish I could have thanked her a million more times ;-; So there were like 3 people from a fansite to my left that wouldn’t let me by (of course) and then THESE TWO LADIES who when we asked they just looked down on me and shook their heads AND THEY WERE SO EXTREMELY TALL I WAS EFFENDED. I didn’t tell anybody this but they were playing DWC mv and i actually almost cried bc after all that anticipation I thought I wasn’t even going to be able to see them and I was so hurt. BUT After a few minutes I decided it wasn’t worth being so hot to not even be able to see SVT so I went to the back and watched from the projectors and WOWIE were they beautiful. Everybody was screaming so much /literally/ the only thing I heard was Joshua say “number two!”. But Scoops was so bubbly and had such prominent dimples, Vernon was a sweetie pie, Blond Jun looks better irl, Mingyu: an angel, Jeonghan????? BEAUTIFUL and dainty he really did look like an angel, Joshua is fkn pretty boy nerd he was just happy to be in LA. DK was his sunshine self and Mingyu…… is so cute?? I wish I coulf give much more descriptions on all the boys but I didn’t have a very good view :^( But let me tell you…. Lee Jihoon…………….. The most beautiful man I’ve ever laid eyes on like he honestly made it all worth it he’s absolutely drop dead gorgeous and I felt bliss amongst the chaos he’s truly a walking miracle on this earth. And omg he’s so tiny.

While we waited for Vanessa to finish the red carpet we got some bomb ice cream i loved that man. And OH BOY WAS VANESSA ZAZZED WHEN SHE RETURNED.

And now here are Vanessa’s thoughts about the red carpet: Ok so the red carpet was really GOOD but I was talking to the girls I met while waiting in line we all kind of agreed its kind of not worth it if you’re in the way bc fansites (I think I saw Jihoon’s fansite mintbreeze there). Also it was really cute seeing all the different fans there. I had a VIXX stan standing in front of me and she was just adorable. SF9 were really cute and one of them said “ITS LIT” before they left and I was like wow same. Donghae and I made eye contact for like 1 second and it was so awkward I had to look away. Cosmic girls were ADORABLE and Xuan Yi kept smiling and waving at fans which made all the fangirls scream and that made Xuan Yi smile even more. When VIXX greeted they greeted and all of them bowed except for Leo who had his hands together as if he was praying and I was like wow that is the most Leo thing i’ve ever seen. Girl’s day…. When I saw Minah’s outfit the girl I met while in line offered her hand for emotional support and i took it so fast bc oooooooh man I lost it. Minah kept posing so….. Suggestively like she knew what she was doing. Also I was super gay for Yura. When SVT came out ho boy I almost fell to the floor bc Jun was first and he was fcknin handsome and really tall????? Vernon is a work of art and Seungkwan is an actual baby. Mingyu was gorgeous I legit couldnt take my eyes off him man. I witnessed Wonwoo be a meme. He just looked at Minghao and had his hand on his shoulder, nodded a few times and looked away and Minghao just laughed to himself. Woozi saw some girls next to me who kept going crazy for him and I could tell he tried so hard not to laugh out loud and looked kind of embarrassed or shy about all the fangirling they were doing for a few seconds it was so cute. But tbh out of everyone except for Mingyu and Jun, Woozi kind of stood out to me the most. He was just so?????? Unique looking??? Idk how to explain it but he was beautiful. Chan was almost the last one to leave the stage bc he kept waving at the fans and doing the finger heart thing and he just looked so happy :’)))) Like Jun had to push his arm a little to make him go forward since Chan was the second to last. Also I had my banner up while they were about to leave and I saw Woozi look up a bit when I did and did a half-smile laugh mainly bc of the way I was holding it and doing a :| face ya know what I mean. So he basically laughed at me and it was an honor.

So the concerto. He was a good man. The venue wasn’t as huge as I thought it was going to be so our seats actually felt really close! Preshow: Of course Jun Curryahn was a good man when isn’t he. Then Korean Effects did some BEATBOXING and he was SO GOOD I felt the bass of that man’s voice in my chest. A girl that I do not know the name of came and sang blood sweat and tears to his beatboxing and that was the first time that night that Vanessa turned to me and screamed “IM SO GAY”. The show: Leo and Minah sang a song from Lalaland and it was beautiful. THEN JOSH VERN AND MINGYU came out as the MC’s and I was SHOOK I didn’t expect those boys. I don’t know SF9 but they were good I was amazed they got the stunts! Cosmic Girls were OF COURSE adorable and amazing. Then the screen was showing 17’s intro and we were like “OH SHIT BOY” but THEN it said “special unit performances” and we SCREAMED We didn’t think they would perform unit songs!! It was sad seeing Swimming Fool without Hosh but they did very well those boys. Habit OF COURSE WAS AMAZING I CRY THINKING ABOUT HOW I ACTUALLY HEARD THOSE ANGELS. And OHHHHHHHH BOYYYYYYYYY the day came. As soon as the first notes of Check in played Vanessa and I held on to each other and started screamiING. Check in is oUR JAM OOOOOOHH YEAHH. Then Girls Day performed and they were T H E hottest group there honestly these girls were RUDE. During their stage vanessa informed me 3 more times how gay she is. She was so angry at Minah for doing that^™. Then Cosmic Girls performed I Need U (boy) and SF9 & Cosmic girls performed Sorry Sorry AND GUESS WHO WAS NEXT THE KINGS EUNHAE. Now let me tell you a story. Super Junior was the first group I ever learned and I became friends with Vanessa and Mely because of them. Oppa Oppa? Vanessa and I have been dancing to that for 5 years and u bet we went HARD when they performed that. I’m still so angry that Eunhyuk made us say “LA oppa”. AND THEY PERFORMED I WANNA DANCE I WANTED THEM TO PERFORM IT BUT I DIDNT THINK THEY WOULD SINCE IT WAS A JAPANESE TRACK!! But the whole time they performed I was screaming about how much I hated their hair. Then Vixx performed and I could tell that a lot of fans were there for them (as well as Eunhae) they got the loudest screams. HYUKS ENGLISH WAS SO CUTE I HAD TO HOLD VANESSAS HAND MY BABY BOY. Im really lowkey glad they didn’t perform chained up tho I was blessed that night. And then………...it was SVT’s stage. I had no idea they were the headliners and OH BOY did those boys rock it. There was one VERY RUDE FOCUS ON JIHOON DURING DWC AND I CRIED INTO VANESSAS SHOULDER. I never didn’t think I was going to scream during this concert… but wow did I surprise myself. Even Vanessa was like “WOah”. But SVT performed a super sick remix of Rock and AND they had a little random play dance time which tbh they didn’t even try that hard but then they shot some tshirt cannons and I saw Jihoon rush over for one and honestly I was terrified for my life. He exudes such a different aura on stage that Jihoon really is “El Woozi”. AND HE STANDS WITH ONE HAND ON HIS HIP BOY WHAT IS THAT SASS FOR. During their ment Boo was being his lil Diva self he was so funny and Dino……. A man? He was so handsome I can’t believe. And Minghao got so many screams I was so proud and happy he deserves them all!! Really all the boys Looked amazing and performed so well I could go on for hours. I heard Seungkwan do the Boo airhorn sound effect and i shed a single tear. Dino was so stunningly handsome like??? He really actually does look older than Mingyu he does not look like the youngest at all what are they feeding him. At one point Vernon was like “Wow Josh, I can tell why you hype up your hometown so much” And JOSH gave him THIS LOOK it was so funny he looked offended, disgusted, and sassy I don’t even know who that man is. Good news: I personally caught no signs of butt touching but I /could/ have missed something. But really the whole concert was absolutely amazing, even if you don’t know all the groups the stages are all so great and I think it was just an excellent concert overall. And the next day we dropped off Mely and Vanessa at 11 for their Oh My Girl audience.. That started at 11. Im sorry Chicas but I’m glad u made it in time. ANYWAYS this has been my kcon experience I had a very good time and TBH I would probably consider going again if Seventeen never fkn comes to california.

[sanfranciscoyoginigypsy]

im living the dream, the climax of my life 7/25/17

today was amazing. so liz slept over and it was the best. we vibe so well together and she is super pure and influential and real and just in my eyes a perfect human being to be around with. she likes jazz she plays instruments she paints- she’s very in tune with herself and everything around her. she painted me a beautiful portrait and love on a canvas i gave her. it is amazing. she wanted me to share my stories about my spiritual interactions with carlo so she can record it and she remembered i mentioned that there is a song i imagine playing when i see him in a field of grass, and she added the notes to it in the painting . she is just so great and influential and we experience and think much of the same things. i like being around her. lots of good music and laughing. she liked the songs i showed her. then i went home and was feeling poopy until i went outside and decided to write how i was feeling. i put anxiety and lack of confidence and just negativity then just didnt feel any better  so i decided to meditate and i did for like 20 /30 min. i went from lotus to just hanging my headd down while i sat. it helped tremendously . i felt three billion times better. i felt like my parents were the sun and moon. creation of all creation. they are the creators of every single thing in my life. they created me thus creating everything around and within me. my mom also symbolized the sun for me, and just recently i felt my father as the moon. i shared that with them and shared a lot with my mother. just after meditating i was so high on life. i thought about who this is it this is now i am experiencing this now and everything is good and life is good and this is real this is what I'm seeing now this is real life this where I'm at just realizing this is where i am right now everything here makes sense and is normal it was like i was reborned actually in a way bc everything seemed brand new and i was confused to what i was seeing!! it makes so much sense tho bc i was just in my head and i cleared it and now I'm seeing everything as it is and realizing I'm ever so grateful for this consciousness. sundown. sunset. i shared with my dad the day i missed my flight that i like sunsets, i feel my brother the most during them.and he shared it with my mom. he invited me to go inside and see a movie with them but i shared to him i like the nature and stuff more and it helps me feel better and that sunset just has a huge impact for me and my soul feels the need to be outside during its energy of the sun passing. and today when i was in my tummy mood or not a clear head i went outside and was just writing down how i felt and he saw and asked if i wanted to spend time with them inside and i was upset so i gave a little sass and said i cant the tv makes me depressed and it just drains my energy and i feel unproductive but I'm glad everything happened bc it happened for a reason and i feel great now and after that time to myself i was the best i can be with my parents i watched tv with them and cracked jokes and just had a lot of fun and t was all pure and sam sent me a song and it was amazing i felt the singers emotion and i just felt every emotion i felt throughout the song. everything just how it was. i was fast with my thoughts and feelings.and i helped my mom with cleaning and it was great- we shared alot and she said she was thinking of me today and is aid oo like what and she said what kind of advice to give me before i leave and said that she just wanted to tell me to keep doing what I'm doing with handling my emotions and being smart and spiritual and she tied that together bc she said she was thinking about all my growth and everything and also gave me the advice to do research in everything i want to do and to do it like she noticed i had a hard time sticking to being vegan and so she said to do research and find some motivation for it and to do that everything i wanna do she is just the best and sweetest i love her so much i love us literally i felt so pure with her after meditating like when i sat next to her on the couch i was kissing all over her face her cheeks her nose and her forehead a bunch of times it wa amazing I'm going to miss her so much but we shared how people become closer to their siblings after carlos funeral like gabe and koen and liz and manuel she opened that up to me but it was good after meditating i felt exactly aligned and myself and it was just enlightening and awakening moment then i told them about how i felt good bc i was not confident in most things especially planning things bc I'm anxious about not ppl having a good time bc it would b my fault but i finally did it and all my freidsn are going to pinballz and i picked up brendon and showed him so many cool songs like the mosquito by the doors and a lot of other cool ones and he said u know so many cool songs and how do u know so many and i told him that when i find an artist and song i like i just listen to their other albums and it grows and we got to pinball and it was just fun for me and him we got quarters and did the quarter machines bc the electronics were too expensive and it was so so so fun we played like 9 rounds and i lost each one but it was so fun and i felt so great playing an old 80s arcade machines game it was so simple there was ike 3 buttons i defiantly want to go back and play on those old pinball and 90s machine games t was so fun and then john kiersten sam and brennon showed up and sam looked so damn good god damn i couldn't take it in he wore khakis and a black shirt and vans and his hair looked good and his face looked beautiful as always and i tried not to express or show any of that in person so i kept my distance but overall it wa so funny with everyone and we went to kerbey lane a 24 hour diner and nit was so fun jorge was there too it was a grand ol time and when i was saying by to everyone it was so beautiful john picked me up two times and we hugged like four times and in front of his girlfriend it is so cool he can do that and brennon gave me a nice one and jorge smacked my ass after which i totally hated and took in account that he did that and to realize it made me uncomfortable and omg me and sams good bye will always be my favorite we hugged and he just said to let him know when I'm in town again and that we have dos ee each other again and it wa sa nice hug and i got in my car and he was getting in the seat and we looked at each other and i did the like post up pose like square lets fight and he got out of his seat in the car and opened my car door and i said okay lets do this and slapped his arm and he grabbed my head and gave me a long noogie and it made me laugh so much and when he was done i gave him a huge giant wedgie it was so funny he didnt seem too uncomfortable but god damn i pulled that underwear so high-up literally like half way up his torso and he texted me later saying he lost his watch trying to untuck the wedgie haha i love sam i just hope one day our time will come and we can be intimate together and i can wake up in a bed we slept together in and wake up to him playing piano and I'm naked in his bed like i just want to be so sweet and lovey to him he makes my legs when he looks at me and he just creates and turns something on in me and i like it i like his being he is a beautiful creation i want to treat him so well i want to paint for him i want to shower him in kisses and gifts and loves and songs i want to inspire him like he inspires me all these love songs i sing for him . i want to be able to share one day all the love songs i sing to him- they're so important , each one. they all bring me back to him. driving back i go to jaremys with brendon and we see élena and kevin aka my favorite ppl ever and elena opens the door and i see kevin and run to him and give him a big hug then elena sees us and i give her one but its unusual i went to him like out of my way to hug him but i hope he feels that like my love for him bc its so special and pure and just love like i love them so much and we all sat around the wooden floored apartment and sat on these psychedelic 70s couches and started tossing out of the air dumb jokes and elena looks at kevin and says you're just a totally different person with mary and laughs and says she's the same way bc we spent a few days togeth then she hung out with her friend and kept saying dumb jokes and they just didnt get it and she had to explain that she was with me and i got that too literally being with them i  feel more intone and grounded to myself bc I'm just my dumb self which makes me the same to other people i literally love my life and everyone here and now i have a flight in like 8 hours to colorado to see alea and road trip to san francisco and get dropped off and continue my life at the ashram and as a yogi and a farmer and pure and back to mediating and yoga and I'm going to practice so much music and have a kick ass job being ana astronomy tutor i am ever so grateful for this summer its been the best and i really hope i can feel this way again when i get back with the same exact people

[drakengard]

1 thru 104 Ur welcome

why do u hate me

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

id probably go back to bed tbh otherwise id just get up and put on clothes(it was hayden….)

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

we’re dating B^)

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

yea i would be really concerned and also probably uncomfortable depending on what was going on

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?

yep!

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?

sober!

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

yea when i was like 16 i really liked this one girl but i was so pushy about it without even realizing it ;w;

7. What does your last received text say?

its just a

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?

ive lost track we’ve kissed a lot!

9. Where was your last kiss at?

at my boyfriends dorm when i dropped him off

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?

a month or two ago

11. What do you drink in the morning?

water or some kind of juice

12. Where did you sleep last night?

in my bed

13. Do you think relationships are hard?

yes they are a lot of work and that can make them hard but i think the best relationships are worth those hardships

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?

yeah i think there are some things i wish i would have done differently but its nothing major

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

the only problem is that we’re locked in a room and im claustrophobic

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

rainy

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

no i dont think so!

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

im in my underwear tbh…….

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

i do think so yeah

20. Does anyone like you?

who knows…………..it is a mystery

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

yep

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?

oh boy gay is an understatement

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

honestly i dont think so anymore?

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

yeah! i already have one

25. In the past week have you cried?

nope

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?

some kind of bulldog mix! he was so cute

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

a little of both

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

nope

29. Do you think you’re old?

not yet

30. Do you like text messaging?

i dont mind it but i always make typos so i get frustrated

31. What type of day are you having?

its alright i felt really sick earlier and i cant sleep

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

i had my septum pierced and ive thought about other nose piercings but i dont think id want them

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

cold definitely

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

yes yes yes

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

relationship

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

i think im a lot more complicated than i let on 

37. What song are you listening to?

already answered!

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?

not always but if i apologize and give an explanation then i mean it (idk if that makes sense)39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?

i dont think so40. What made you start liking the person you like now?

the first thing i ever noticed about him when i saw photos was his smile but when i met him it was absolutely everything41. When did you last receive a text message?

a few hours ago42. What is wrong with you right now?

LORD…..43. How well do you know the last female you texted?

relatively!44. Does anyone disgust you?

yes45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?

no46. Are you in a good mood right now?

im in a……..mediocre mood47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?

my coworkers!!48. What color shirt are you wearing?

white it has a picture of a dog on it49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?

yeah50. Anyone you’re giving up on?

no51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?

no im with the person i fell hardest for

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

yeah in the past i used to think about giving up on a lot of people but im glad i didnt and i let  myself grow from those experiences53. Do you like rain?

i love rain54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

i dont really mind as long as they are safe55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

yep56. Do you like to cuddle?YES god im weak

57. Are you shy?

not with people i know well and when im at my Job™ but like…if im by myself in new situations i do not like to talk58. Do you get along with girls?

depends on the girl!59. Have you dated the person you texted last?

yes we are currently dating60. What do you carry with you at all times?

phone, wallet, and normally chapstick61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?id do that shit for free

62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

i have so yes63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?

yep!64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

god yes i…..am so weak for affection in the simplest forms65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

already answered!

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

20, 19, 20

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?   

nah id want to try and fail miserably 68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?    

zebra print but i dont really like either69. Do you have any stickers on your car?    

i do i have a captain scarlet sticker via my boyfriend70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?  

lil wayne……….lmao  71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?    

android72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?    

not since forever ago i think since i worked there when i was 16 73. Do you like diet soda?    

not really74. What color are the walls in your room?    

white75. Are you 16 or older?    

yep!76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?    

nope77. Do you have a job?    

yes yes  78. What are your initials?  

JLH  79. Did you ever have braces?   

yes for like a year and a half it was a Time 80. Are you from the south?    

i was born in north carolina B^)

81. What does your last status on facebook say?  

“someone get married and invite me i really want to go to a wedding they seem so fun”

82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?  

uh very sporadically but sometimes  83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?    

my mom84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics? 

nah85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?  

  oh god it was some action movie i cant remember the name of 86. Do you smoke?    

…………when im on fire (badumtss)87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?

heels bc i hate the noise flip flops make    88. Is your phone touch screen?    

yeah89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?   

straight sometimes i curl it up  90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?    

nope91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?

pool probably     92. Have you ever made out in a car?    

nope93. …Had sex in a car?    

……………………………………………sweats94. Are you single or in a relationship?  

in a relationship!  95. What were you doing last night at midnight? 

i was at the grocery store   96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?    

a few years ago97. Do you like the camera on your phone?  

its pretty good yeah!  98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?  

nope nope  99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?   

also no 100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?   

not that i hate but people that i dislike yeah 101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?    

no but when my mom got pregnant with my sister and told me i think i went into cardiac arrest102. Name your favorite Kesha song:   

its tik tok im no fool 103. Do you have any tan lines right now?

maybe i will the day my wonder bread ass goes outside………..    104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?   

already answered but NO 

[kkurafilm]

What do you think of the other spring day members' vocals?? I've seen lots of different opinions like seonho was basically whispering in the beginning or jinyoung has a great vocal tone, etc.

oh wow okay i have a lot to say and some (more than half) of it is pr negative i dont hate them i just see clear vocal flaws

Let’s start from the bottom up - Yongjin. There’s a lot of kids on the show that I think aren’t qualified to debut and yongjin is definitely one of them. He had quite a lot of parts for someone who not only has a little less attractive tone but also little technique. His first line had off-pitch notes - see if it was something like a weird fast line or a run it wouldve been forgivable but it was just a melody line. He has a high voice but not a big range from what im seeing? His one good example of pitch accuracy and good breathing (altho that larynx tho) is somewhere @ 2:17

And then there’s the one trainee that really shocked me with this performance - Seonho. Yes at the beginning he was whispery because that passes his low octaves hence I think they shouldve just slightly change up the melody line. He has probably the smallest range in the group. Very very soothing flow in his mid range. Very very airy and light singing style in general. Really pleasantly surprised since I thought hed do somewhat badly. Nothing much to say bc he didnt get a lot of lines rip.

And then we have Baejin who has a nice tone he definitely does but his complete lack of technique turns his lovely tone kinda sloppy. I can also hear quite a but of nasal. His transitions to head voice was messy and lazy, you could say there wasnt any transition at all. And then there’s his breath control which bugged me so much. He messes up transition on and pitch accuracy due to his breath control. My old choir teacher drilled this into my head - open your mouth when you sing. Yeah it sounds pr clear that to sing you have to open your mouth but like.. really open it.. because his vowel shapes and tone was constrained by him not opening his mouth enough which was a shame. Even if he had the nicest tone in the world it couldnt have balanced him back from the lack on the technical side. Hope he doesn’t debut in the top 11, take time to get those things down, and then debut as a lead vocal because he has potential for sure.

I’ve already posted my bits on Kenta, but after a few more listens i’d say his problems rn are pitch accuracy during downward movements in lines. Other than that yall can look at my old post to see me scream abt him in this performance.

Our main dependable fresh clear vocal, with a slight mistake, but its ok bc overall he was still the best. Let’s address the big moment first - the “crack”. It wasnt a crack. His voice didn’t head for a different pitch. Woojin simply didn’t take a enough breath in for that note and when he was just about to project it he noticed that he was running out of breath so hesitation also took part in that busted note. Although a pr clear mistake, do notice that this is the first time there’s been breathing problems with him ever since his The Voice days. I’ve taught a vocal class with middle school kids before he reminds me of that. Great range, phenomenal clear and projected tone, but any slight nerves and they cause the strain on their voice right away. The stage mentality is something you can build with time and I think P101 is perfect for him to develop that. As for everything else wow im not surprised because lil’ Woojin (almost) always delivers. His plate usage is so good for someone so young, as well as his agilty and pitch awareness. His musicality seems very well developed at that age, dynamic delivered through the lines perfectly. I might go on for days if I say everything good about it so I’ll stop lmao

About the overall performance:- Cutting out the beat to make it more ballad-y was a bad idea because it was so sparse and the song itself is pr plain- Terrible line distribution, given that after the first part most of the things were in their favor (generally range mid-high)- Song choice was bad from the beginning since imo its pretty plain- Generally bellow average line up performing above average so its not that bad- Kenta and Seonho should’ve gotten morE LINES DAMMIT

[frop]

I GOT THE GO AHEAD TO TALK ABT KIRA from like. 3 different people so i Suppose i have to now

i didnt really have anything planned out so im just gonna toss shit out there. also bear with me bc its gonna start off abt his hand fetish fgjdkjghsf and i really truly thought i was gonna keep this semi professional but its just not possible considering who i am as a Person

ok but listen what i think would be the most interesting thing to learn about is How exactly he went about his first murder and how he felt leading up to it you know? bc presumably he started because whatever shit he was using before hand (ahaha) just wasnt gettin him off well enough anymore. 

Actually we know how he did it, because reimi told koichi and rohan that irl urban legend of the murderer killing the victim’s dog and taking its place under the victim’s bed and licking their land to make the victim think the dog was still alive, WHICH ended up being how reimi was killed (and yes, i too, wanted to die when i realized that was kira under her bed licking her hand and making whimpering noises dfhdkghfh) But whats interesting to note is that reimi wears a choker with hands holding on to each other at the front and coincidentally one of kira’s first instincts when he’s not able to indulge in his urges is to choke the woman he would target, as seen when he first starts living in the kawajiri home with shinobu. 

Ok so i said that he might have started killing bc he usual material just wasnt doing it for him anymore but this man had a da vinci artbook in his house during the events of diu so Clearly he had the mona lisa book marked or some shit. i didnt really have much else to say abt this honestly it was just an observation from the anime bc i dont know if it was in the manga too? anyway.

Actually now that im thinking about it i dont know if his first murder was to satisfy his fetish. current kira, of course, its all he does it for, but 17 year old kira? maybe, maybe not. i mean, reimi herself says at the end that he didnt take her hands afterwards so either his first wasnt for the satisfaction OR it was, and he was just so overwhelmed with the fact that he did manage to kill someone and he just didnt think to take them at the time. 

It Has Now Been A Full Day Since I Last Touched This So Let’s Go 

@ his nail habits: SO his dad says that ever since he was little, biting his nails until they were raw and bloody was the only way he could vent his frustrations. Frustrations abt what exactly? who knows, it could have been general anxiety since we know he doesnt like being in the spotlight (i might just projecting a little too hard) OR they could have been his murderous urges showing up from a very early age. current kira, however, was only ever shown to do it once and it was when he killed hayato so its definitely a way to cope with incredible stress too. 

he started collecting his nail clippings the year he killed reimi and the “”official”” timeline puts it as right before he committed the murder. So it definitely has something to do with how he felt in the time leading up to it i just cant pull anything out my ass that could possibly connect the two lmao.  Anyway i really do think that he picked up the habit of collecting his nail clippings as a substitute for gnawing them off every time he felt on edge. and then i guess he just started making these far fetched connections abt the length = his luck for the year/month? (i dont remember and its 1am idc) which, are almost as far fetched as all my connections too. 

OH FUCK ok i really truly believe in my hopeless romantic of a heart that he started having feelings for shinobu. ofc his situation at the time made him immediately rationalize it as ‘oh nono im just trying to keep up impressions. it would be mighty suspicious if my wife happen to die on me’  WHICH, is a valid point. however notice how he acted when he thought he had the rest of his life perfectly protected, he got real cocky and gave shinobu a kiss on the cheek, part of it was 100% to spite hayato but i think the other part was him letting himself relax and kinda indulge in the Married Life™️️ shinokira is terrible bc its so domestic and tragic it hits all my weak points. 

Can’t believe i almost forgot to mention the fact that kira was only 1 (one) year older than reimi and that its entirely possible that they went to highschool together, especially considering how small morioh’s population seems to be even during the events of diu. whats even more fucked is the fact that arnold was more or less reimi’s guard dog and yet.. he didnt bark or alert reimi to anything when kira invaded their home which might mean that reimi and kira were on at least good enough terms for arnold to be able to recognize him as friendly. Doubly fucked bc that means kira must have been targeting her for a good while and figured the best way to strike would be to gain her trust.

ok i dont think i have anything else to add unless i suddenly get like a massive influx of thoughts in the minutes it takes me to wrap this up.

 IN CONCLUSION, kira yoshikage is awful and terrible and is easily the most interesting villain in my humblest of opinions and im glad i got a chance to finally unload all these thoughts that make absolutely no sense whatsoever when put together in an essay format. 

also no offense but kira yoshikage is mixed bc naturally blond blue eyed fully japanese men are just not likely and considering who kira is as a person he would never go so far as to dye his hair lets be real