#so i hope there's something in there that resonates

[b4ddprincess]

I hope that everyone who reads this feels a little bit of peace of mind. I know how unbearable it is to want to have the life of your dreams right now! That anxiety and despair won't help at all. Nor will continuing to do what doesn't resonate with you, seeing countless success stories and each time trying to do the same as them. It's always like that, right? That's what most of us do, it's like being in a loop, I say this because this year I became pure consciousness several times while trying to induce it, whether through lucid dreams, sleeping affirming, some of the times I just came out of the state of pure consciousness without affirming anything because I felt so peaceful (and it didn't last long either).

Exactly 4 days ago I almost to induce pure consciousness again while listening to this audio that leaves me super relaxed

https://youtu.be/DMQjwuU_4c4

(not that to induce pure consciousness you need something like that, just relax your body and take your focus off thoughts related to anxiety, just relax)

and I relaxed so deeply, I relaxed my body and mind while daydreaming but as soon as I started to feel the symptoms it was so intense, like falling, spinning and being sucked at the same time. and I focused so much on the symptoms that I ended up losing focus and consciousness returned to 3D.

but I remembered when I was a beginner in all this and I read a blog (if I find the link I'll put it here for you)

https://at.tumblr.com/princess200417/697183954837569536/h6gg9e7y98bg

in which the blogger said the following

"Sit down or lay down in the most comfortable position to you

Start breathing in and out slowly and imagine/picture a black space or a black hole or just a black image in general ,so this can help you in feeling closer to void (ofc it's not necessary)

Now start AFFIRMING I'm void or any other blanket void affirmation/affirmations of your personal preference"

She also said to make affirmations during the day, such as "Void is instant easy and simple ," "I am God," and I remembered that when I did this for the first time, I was a little sleepy. All I did was read this blogger's post again, lay down, and close my eyes. I didn't think about anything. All I did was affirm without forcing myself. The symptoms were so intense. However, I wasn't anxious or desperate.

So, I didn't care about the symptoms. I kept affirming. I remember that the way I induced pure consciousness was so fast. I just hadn't affirmed anything because there was nothing I wanted to manifest. Then I just affirmed that I was going to go out, and when I did, I realized that I was still asleep. Then I woke up. Some time later, I did it again and manifested that I was going to pass a very important test for me. And guess what? I passed all the tests.

And now remembering this I feel upset with myself, for having consumed too much and having let things get out of control and become a little difficult. Until a while ago I was telling myself that I would manifest my dream life, but I was always putting it off until tomorrow and it was always like that, 5 months went by while I was procrastinating. Now I realized how much time I wasted, and I feel upset with myself. But I remembered that I have already induced pure consciousness, what is getting in my way is despair and anxiety, but now I will control this and manifest my dream life, I will send you my success story very soon :)

I hope this is like a little warning to everyone who is on this journey, I know that everyone's circumstances may be as difficult as mine, but never give up. Try to stop this despair, focus on who you are. You are gods, the co-creator of your own reality, don't give up and don't put off until tomorrow what you can and have the power to do today!!!

congrats on inducing pure consciousness and passing your exams!! it may not be your dream life, but hey! you still have a testimony to share, and ik you'll share your dream life testimony soon!! 💗💗

just apply your reminders, and ik i'll see your next success story! don't stress urself either! 💞

[themasterofo]

To My Readers

Please bear with me while I take a somewhat more serious tone today. I've been wanting to write something like this for a while now, and finally got to putting my thoughts down.

I have always kept an eye on you readers who like and reblog my stories, and it has not gone unnoticed that, in addition to girls who more-or-less match the submissive female character I write, many of my readers are lesbian, or trans, or even sub men. Some of you I've chatted with in the past, even to the point of giving permission to rewrite my stories, altering some preferred biology and/or gender details.

I dislike virtue signaling for its own sake. I find a lot of it distasteful and self-serving, but I also know that statements of support can mean a lot to people who may not be sure that they are welcome. So it's in that spirit that I did decide to write this.

Assuming you are an adult, and that you are not a predator, you are welcome here.

Whether Dom(me) or sub, whether male, female, or anything else, and whatever genitals or body you were born with or have managed to make for yourself, you are welcome here.

I write about denial from my particular perspective, which includes my own sexuality, orientation, and gender. In my mind, the man in my stories is me, and the girl is an afab girl. Because of this, you'll hear talk about his cock, her cunt, and things like this. But, if that doesn't match you, and you still want to read, and if you identify with any part of my writing, you have my absolute blessing to take whatever liberties you wish in your own mind. Not that you needed my permission, but maybe for some it might help.

To be clear, for my own part, I'm not really interested in interacting sexually with sub men, or with girls who don't match the physical type of person that I'm attracted to (girls with a cunt). I don't mean any offense here and I hope that none is taken. For me, life is too short to do anything other than follow what makes you feel authentically happy, and that's part of what does. But it costs me nothing to accept the gender or sexuality that someone identifies with themselves, and I consider it a matter of kindness and decency to do so.

But I am also happy to chat with anyone in about denial and so forth, as long as there is respect and if I have the time (the latter being a larger issue these days!)

So in summary, welcome. If you're a sub, I hope you find inspiration here, and I hope you can learn to edge more and cum less, if you agree with me that this is what's probably best for you. If you're a Dom(me), I hope you enjoy the stories and maybe get some inspiration and ideas to take responsibly to the sub(s) in your life. I tell sub girls they don't have my permission to cum when reading my blog, but if that doesn't resonate with you - you do you. And if you want to imagine that my Dom character is a woman, or that the sub character has a cock, or whatever else will make bring you some happiness, just do it.

[mixingpumpkins]

Just applied to USPS because no one will fucking hire me with no professional experience despite graduating summa cum laude a year ago and I might actually kill myself within a year so weehee that’s fun go capitalism fuck everything what’s the point

I wish you knew how much this sounds like me when I got out of grad school [redacted] years ago, because… it does. The summa cum laude, the no one will hire with no experience, the thinking of killing myself because what’s the fucking point when everything sucks so bad. So I’m going to tell you what I really wish someone had told me then. (I’m sorry if this is long.)

You’re right; stuff really sucks right now. Our system sucks. The job market is a complete joke. The whole post-graduation time period when you’re trying to break into the professional world fucking blows, especially if you’ve got people in your life putting extra pressure on you. But please reconsider killing yourself and consider speaking to someone who’s able to offer you more help managing those thoughts than I can. You won’t feel like this forever, I promise, and we need you here.

I’m wishing you the best of luck with the USPS application. It may not be what you wanted or expected with your stellar academic record, but it’s nothing to be ashamed of and a good position, especially for your first experience out of school. It’s an income > $0, probably some benefits since it’s a government job, and, importantly, will give you professional experience. You’ll meet people, you’ll learn some new skills, and you’ll have a job — which is always attractive to other employers as you continue your search for whatever jobs you’re trying for. (I’m actually considering applying to USPS myself, since I got laid off last month. Seriously. It’s not a bad option.)

Your first job out of school in no way sets your career path in stone. I know it can be really fucking hard, especially as a high achiever, to see your peers getting jobs and internships and whatever opportunities when you did everything right and can’t seem to find anything. It sucks. It doubly sucks when you’re feeling pressure to start your career on the right foot, or not “fall behind,” or enjoy your life while you’re young, or not “waste” your education and potential on a job you could’ve gotten without a degree.

All of that is bullshit.

It’s okay to take whatever job you can get — retail or USPS or washing dishes or whatever — especially when you don’t have any prior experience. If it’s not what you want, keep looking for something that suits you better while you work. You’re not a failure if you don’t get a job in your field for your first one out of school. Most people don’t. Some people don’t, ever. That’s fine too.

Is taking literally anything right now going to put you “behind”? No. You can’t fall behind; timelines are garbage. Kill the idea that you are stuck or behind or will never get where you want to be because you don’t see a way of that happening from where you are right now.

Stuff changes fast — maybe not the trash fire that is capitalism itself, but the stuff closer to you. The opportunities around you. Your priorities. Your career plans and options. These shifts make so much of a difference, and it’s hard to see just how fast they can happen when you’re in that shitty space of trying to get your first professional experience out of school. You will get something, and you will start seeing these shifts happen.

Plus… especially now, people switch jobs and entire careers all the time. They get burned out. Their interests change. A random opportunity leads them somewhere they never saw coming. The industry / economy / technology changes, and they’re out of a job and need a new one. (<- That last one is the story of my fucking life, tbh.)

Maybe the classmate who got that dream job/internship right out of school discovered that it actually sucks and they need to do something else. Or somebody’s side hustle pays better than their job and suddenly they’re occupied full-time with something they never studied in school. The kid who got a “head start” on a good career with a well-paying job is laid off and begging for a retail position two years later. Someone’s dad I know who got a degree in finance ended up working as a landscaper for decades instead, then went back to school at 57 and became a nurse.

It is literally impossible to tell where your life will take you from where you’re standing right now. Hell, at this point, I’d say it’s pretty stupid for anyone to assume they know what their life and career will look like in two years. But the point is to give yourself the grace and the time to figure it out.

It may take you 5 years to be somewhere that feels better. It may take you 40. Careers in this day and age are a fucking roller coaster and anyone who says otherwise is kidding themselves (and possibly had daddy paving the way for them).

Stay curious about what’s next and spite the fuckers who want you to do otherwise. What could your first job lead to? Idk, let’s find out. What could this detour or layoff lead to? Idk, let’s find out. Who cares if it’s not what you thought it would be? Maybe it could lead to something better. Let’s keep at it and find out.

You’re smart — enough to graduate summa cum laude. No professional crisis or difficulty navigating this shit job market and obscene cost of living nonsense can take that away from you. Tell anyone who tries to make you feel otherwise (including that critical voice in your head) to go fuck themselves.

I really hope you get the USPS job, or something better. Come tell me when you do. And yeah, fuck this unbridled capitalism shit — so let’s give it all the hell that we can in the meantime. 

[yourhealingjournal]

i read this post about someone simply accepting their depression is not going to go away & instead of resenting themselves for never getting rid of it or trying to find so much energy to banish the sadness away or to be fully "healed" from it, they just focus on adding more happy things in their plate.

and that is something i can resonate with.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Hi! Your Hollow Knight AU has really cheered me up so I wanted to do a little drawing for it! This got me to get my art tablet out after months of not feeling like it so thank you for the inspiration! I hope the colors look good on any monitor that's not mine sdfsdf

Bugs In the Jingshi wyd?

I am so genuinely awestruck at how well you translated this AU to the hollow knight style! Also obsessed with the height difference.

[hypermascbishounen]

There's a deep irony in Berserk being so admired by people who really really hate what Berserk is about on an emotional level, but especially when writers want to take influence from it. Because Berserk is very strong thematically, and someone who can't acknowledge subtext is going to whiff on emulating anything good.

[blackpilljesus]

I dont care about the odds of womens liberation happening because I dont solely focus on "winning" per se. That's not to say I dont want or aim towards it but freedom isn't just about the end but the journey too. Cultivating a lifestyle as a single childfree woman is something bigger than me and something I hold onto to get me by.

One thing about conscious is that we all know we're going to die. This terrifies some; but in some cases it gives a purpose to existence. Death becomes a metric to measure the things that are worth it in life, things to dedicate life towards for fulfillment in existing. Whether the end goal actually comes to fruition or not is irrelevant because the hope and purpose carries you as you live.

To get by the hardships of life and inevitability of death: dedicate yourself to something bigger than you. Having a sense of purpose beyond yourself drives innovation & delivery. It's not just about how long you live but what you live (& are willing to die) for. This is how cults, religion, charity, activism, natalism etc affect people. It gives them a sense of purpose greater than themselves so they devote their lives to them even in extreme cases where it'd kill them. They suffer & work in the name of their cause.

Many women regret encountering feminism & seeing maIes for how evil they are but I dont. I see things more clearly & more importantly it's given me a purpose in life; something to orient how I carry myself as long as I live: To pour my energy into myself & other likeminded women, to live beyond serving a maIe, to trust myself & not let the claws of maIe supremacy sink into me, to be the subject of my life instead of the object, to know I'm ending the line of suffering and not giving maIes what they ultimately want - another soul in the chain to continue the suffering, etc. That's the direction I'm taking my life.

I'm saying all of this because with things like separatism, 4B etc if you're serious about it think about these things as something bigger than yourself let it be something that you devote yourself to that goes beyond you. In the end it isn't just about you, it's about the future children you're saving from experiencing the hurt & suffering of this world. For me, no matter what happens as long as I dont give birth before I die that's a W for me - when I die the suffering in my line ends with me. So that's how I see this as something bigger than myself, it's not just about me but my (potential) future offspring. And before anyone tells me about how there's good in this world; good isn't guaranteed but suffering is.

When you give yourself to something bigger than you you're able to commit to things for the greater good & not just doing things for the sake of it. I dont refuse to date, reproduce, wear makeup, etc to stick it to anybody; it's just freeing for me. I think the lack of seeing these things as something bigger than yourself is part of why many women struggle to commit to this or even think of the idea (there's obvs many reasons but I wont get into them to stay focused). I commonly to hear things "I'm not doing x for some fringe online movement" because they dont see a greater good, sense, or purpose to it so instead women will get in pro woman spaces demanding it caters to them & their existing habits rather than working within these spaces towards a goal greater than themselves compared to dating which is why they're willing to inconvenience & risk more in that regard.

This might sound extreme but many people whether they're aware of it or not have a purpose for themselves at some point & legacy they want to build to leave something behind or it fulfils them. For me the way I see all of this is that I want to succeed as a single childfree woman as my legacy. That's what I build towards. I occasionally ask myself that if I was to die now would my life & the things I did reflect what I believed in at the end of the day. Now obviously people have different motives & legacy aspirations which causes conflict (even with maIe supremacy it's about legacy which is why maIes live & die for it. It makes it easier for them to reproduce & steal labour from women to pass off as their own & that's something added to their legacy - something that lives beyond). Ofc not everyone gets remembered but in the grand scheme of things as I mentioned it's not about the end goal but the journey there.

The thing with fulfilment is that it is so strong if this thing wasn't there people likely wouldn't know what to do with themselves. Despite the criticisms of religion, part of why it's so powerful & popular is bc many people wouldn't know what to do without that framework shaping their lives. Something they can lean on in hard times, something that directs the way they go about their daily lives so people take it very seriously with its ups and downs as it gives them purpose & they'd be lost otherwise. Similar thing with patriarchy, if you remove the benefits it comes with; maIes wouldn't have a purpose to work towards & existence wouldn't be worth it for most of them. This is why many of them dont care about going on rampages even if it costs them their lives to uphold the system as they have nothing to live for out of maIe supremacy. A loss of those structures would be a net negative as they have to work harder for the same or less results.

For many women, romance is something that fulfils them & adds purpose to their lives (remember having purpose to something means you're willing to struggle for it). In my previous post I addressed the argument of how there'll be violence when women reject maIes en masse but even when women choose to date maIes the risk of violence is still there (which there's endless strategies on how to 'vet' and mitigate) but they still go for it because a having relationship is something bigger than themselves. These things fulfil them so much so that many women refuse to take maIes as they are & actively shut out news about their violence bc it'd make them hate them & they dont want to do that bc losing romance would be losing it all. It isn't just about them, they're looking for someone to explore, build, and create life with as it fulfils them so they'd be willing to take risks to find that. Hell even out of dating, many women will risk their lives & livelihood to advocate for maIes politically as they see the cause as greater than them.

I've provided examples to put this concept in context so for the more relevant part: as a single childfree woman where does this leave you? Find a sense of purpose & fulfilment to it. This is something that has to come from within for it to stick, a sentence I say isn't going to give you purpose bc you dont know me & I dont know you. To a degree, typical things that give people purpose & fulfilment are messages that have been instilled into them from childhood. As people grow & face challenges it's something they lean on and it works for them to get by life. Many religious people look to their creator when they're going through hard times in addition to everything else they do surrounding religion as they devote themselves to that. So having a purpose & sense of fulfilment is important bc when adversity inevitably comes up it will help you overcome it.

TLDR: We're always taking risks depending on what we find purpose & fulfilment in. These things tend to be bigger than ourselves. Find purpose and fulfilment to being a single childfree woman.

This is the final part of my series of posts about the popularity & rise of single childfree women:

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

[shalom-iamcominghome]

... We must realize how the behavior that we are attempting to throw away once helped to sustain us, and how it might help to sustain others somewhere down the line. In moving beyond what we recognize as a harmful behavior, we need to ask: "What did I learn? How did this behavior serve me?"

Each quality, even those that seem bad, contributed somehow to our self-preservation. It had good life-affirming purpose at one point, even if that is no longer true. In order to let go of such a habit, I need to give it a "testimonial," to send it away with my thanks. "I needed you, and there you were, and I thank you for it. And now, with full appreciation, I know that I no longer need you and I can send you away." This is different from trying to stamp it out. We no longer say, "I'm sorry I did this. I'm throwing this behavior away." We say, "Thank you, God, for this gift. I needed it then; I no longer need it now. I am returning it to the universe in the hope that it can help generate life elsewhere as it did for me."

-Jewish with Feeling, Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi. 2005, p. 173-174

[afterxcare]

Come. My shark is hungry.

[demigod-of-the-agni]

Forgive me, forgive me. I ask, I beg, I pray, but it never comes.

You know I find it incredibly bewildering to see just how much kalki reflects myself in him like YEAH Duh of course he does, he’s my little guy it’s like his full time job. But at the same time he is a fully functional facet of my being and he is at the mercy of my whimsies, and whatever he discovers in his arduous journey of self realisation is ultimately a reflection of what I discover in the real world. It’s also incredibly funny because ffxiv lore for dark knights is really baked into the idea of (re)discovering yourself amongst the bloodshed and continuing to live and love and thrive despite the world working against us. who would have thought such a raw message could come from an mmorpg side quest about edgy emo boys of all places

also adamantite armour of fending i would lay down my LIFE for u

variant + phone bg version + ID below the cut

tch as if you guys are actually going to use artwork of my little guy as your phone background. i know. how dumb. let a girl dream. i should make an alternate version but it's of Fray and Myste

[START ID: A picture with a red background focusing on the character's bust that is placed to the left of the image's centre. He is coloured with a dark blue overlay, contrasting with the red background. He has brown skin, long black hair that falls over his shoulders, and is wearing blue and gold armour and earrings. He is looking at the viewer, right eye dark brown and the left an glowing unnatural red, with an expression that looks determined and angry and yet bitter and forlorn. In the foreground and on the right side of the piece, a miniature version of the character stands coloured in a light blue overlay and wearing the same blue and gold armour, looking as if he is glowing. He is facing towards the left of the piece, or perhaps at the character bust, his expression unreadable. Above the miniature character's head is the symbol representing the FFXIV dark knight, coloured in gold. END ID.]

[autismsupersoldier]

every day of my life im thinking of this image

because i am a person full of love and i am worried i express it too much or to the wrong person and what if everyone thinks im a freak or weird or too pushy or have ulterior motives. its spilling out even though i try to keep myself upright and i am so worried that someone doesnt see that as genuine and thinks im weird weird weird. but on the other hand i just try to not care. i know its genuine and i trust the people around me to trust me that they can set a boundary with me about it if its too much. and not call me a freak. or something. i dont know

[0rchidm4ntis]

At least the moon will keep him company in the dead of night

[euyrdice]

You and your Kise posts kill me so gently. I love your musings on him. He’s such a complex character, even if sometimes I think he’d laugh it off and say he’s an open book.

lovely beloved thank you for this message!!! 🥹🥹 i really enjoy studying and discussing kise, and i am so glad you've enjoyed my thoughts on him <333 thank you so much for taking time to tell me know you do!!! it makes me super happy to hear!!! :-) <333 💌💐💕

i love that i’m known for my silly kise post :-) hes really fun to muse about, right? hes so complex as you said; theres just soo much to him!!!

i think you’re totally right- he would just laugh it off and light-heartedly insist on his transparency. which has some truth to it, because he certainty is open about certain things! he often doesn't show hesitance/reluctance to truthfulness ab certain things, esp when it comes to basketball. he tells kuroko to "be honest with himself," shamelessly tells kasamatsu he only cares about beating aomine during the gakuten tou game, has a flippancy with kagami at their first meeting (of course, kagami starts the fire a bit himself fdjsf) and openly questions the others skill, and easily tells midorima that if kise were playing in the shotuko v kaijo game, kaijo would have won. he's terribly honest when he wants to be!

anywho!!!! please talk with me anytime! i would absolutely love to hear any of and all ur your thoughts on him!!!

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

uh oh I want to say something controversial

[kolyasangel]

lowkey don't feel like writing anymore

[void-and-virtue]

OP I LOVED UR ANDREIL POST GOING CRAZY THINKING ABOUT IT if you have anything else in that amazing brain of yours on this take please do share because i absolutely LOVED how you articulated this aspect about andreil. its something i particularily appreciate about their dynamic and relationship with anger and Their Issues TM. your post will cross my mind whenever ill think about it from now on.

I don’t think I have ever gotten an ask and this is kind of making me go insane??? I hope you know that you made my day and also, I’m so glad people share in my endless brainrot bc when it comes to this series and these characters I simply cannot stop

It really isn’t nearly talked about enough that the thing that got Andrew to actually look at Neil and become interested was (as cited by Neil himself at some point tho I can’t remember in which book that scene is from the top of my head) Neil’s bone-deep jealousy of Kevin. It’s—it ties into that whole epiphany that Neil has at some point, when he looks at Andrew and realizes that while he is hurtling towards his own breaking point and about to burn out and shatter into something he’s not sure he’d recognize if he survived the encounter, Andrew hit that point and broke from it years ago. And that’s an understanding that goes both ways between them—in a fucked up way, it feels like Andrew might be the future that Neil has waiting for him if he doesn’t end the year six feet under: hollow and drifting, passionless after everything he had to rip away from himself to be able to survive. At the same time, Neil probably reminds Andrew of how he used to be, back when he had hope for things only to have that hope rip him apart—which is exactly where Neil seems to be headed for the majority of the story.

I think that a lot of Andrew’s understanding of Neil comes from the fact that he knows intimately what it feels like to be caught between a rock and a hard place and cut his own lifeline, only to then fail to die on impact. Neil hasn’t had to resort to that yet, but he is hanging by a thread. You’d think that watching him struggle would only serve to drive it home for Andrew that he made the right choice in closing himself off, except… well. His expectations of life and the people in it are so bleak, it’s no wonder he finds himself drawn to Neil’s messy emotions and every unexpected show of spine like a moth to a flame.

Neil, for all of his issues and scars, can still feel things—can still want something so badly it defies all logic. Can want something with such visceral, fucked-up intensity that it resonates where it shouldn’t. It’s an ability that Andrew thinks he’s either lost or cut out of himself to stay somewhat safe, sane and alive a long time ago, but that remains as the most fundamental crack in the foundation of his being. It’s a fascination that seems to come out every time he’s sober and eventually ties into him wanting Neil—wanting something worth wanting and putting a name to it once he finds it. They look at each other and don’t want a watered-down version of the person in front of them. It creates a relationship that embraces issues big and small and accepts (even values!) the messy parts of being human. It means that any space shared between them immediately becomes safe once they settle into something comfortable together. The way they handle the uglier sides of each other’s personality honestly makes me feral because it’s always done with understanding and acceptance and they even find positives or comforts there that the other can’t see and that’s probably a reason for why 1) their chemistry is so off the charts and 2) their relationship is so damn healthy (in addition to their communication being stupidly good when it comes to each other).

Andrew wants something real and Neil wants to be real. And then they get to have exactly that.