#so i wanted to convey the vibes and ALMOST got there i think !!

[avspol]

avpol april 2023

day 1: home / date night

[malice-ov-mercy]

Music, Love, and Sex

Summary: Lillian is filming a music video for a new single. Only problem is, it’s the duet, which means Will is also present for filming. Having him in the track was already horrible enough, now he has to be in the video too?

Song & Video: The Promise - In This Moment

Playlist for further vibes

Pairing: Will Ramos x OFC (Lillian)

Content Warnings: 18+!, smut, unprotected (p in v) sex, fingering, oral (female receiving), alcohol consumption, angst

A/N: Remember when I said something about a Will hatefuck fic??? Well…… here. The “hate” part of the hatefuck kinda got lost I think, but that’s okay I guess???? This shit fought me so hard. I want this to be a series, but with how fucking much I struggled with just this, I don’t know if I can manage. also totally unrelated, but y’all don’t know how BADLY I want a version of that song with Will. And Noah. AND Corey Taylor.

Word Count: 6.7k

Tag list: @circle-with-me @xxrainstorm @foliosriot @nyxthedestroyerofworlds @reader13000 @sammyjoeee @cookiesupplier @concretenoah @witchyweeb34 @agravemisstake @an-insane-day @lyschko666 @calisto-thoughts @agravemisstake @emzandthevoid @shroomfairy24

If you would like to be added, please let me know for who! If you tell me everyone/everything, just know that includes anything I may write for Bad Omens AND/OR Lorna Shore.

Will Ramos Masterlist

Warmth filled my mouth then throat, the hot tea and honey soothing the soreness and scratchiness I’d been dealing with for the past few days. Admittedly, I’d not been taking the best care of my voice lately, and it was starting to show. I’d been pushing myself far beyond my limits, blatantly ignoring my body telling me to stop. The strain every time I screamed or forced myself to hit notes I knew I struggled with came to a head this morning during my warm ups.

A million tiny little needles poked and scraped along my esophagus every time I spoke. My voice was all rasp and sounded like I’d been chain smoking for thirty years. Everyone asked if I was sick, but I wasn’t. Filming was almost done and I didn’t want to drag it out any longer. I could power through the final day and worry about the repercussions of pushing myself later.

“You know,”

I heaved a sigh and reluctantly looked at the man whose voice grated against my ears.

I leered at Will, pure disdain plastered on my face. His smug fucking smile sparked a fire under my skin. He hadn’t even bothered to try with his appearance, sporting his usual incredibly distressed and torn jeans and black hoodie. The director thought it was a nice contrast to my dress, stating that it further enhanced the story the video and song were trying to convey. I disagreed, but my protesting fell on deaf ears.

“I could offer you some tips to take care of your voice so you don’t ruin it.” He finished, stopping directly in front of me.

Overconfidence and prideful spite coursed in my blood, festering throughout my body. I had nothing to prove to anyone, I knew my ability and talent. The audacity of this man to think I needed his help with anything was insulting. I’d gotten this far on my own, and I damn sure wasn’t going to take advice from someone whose crowning moment was making dumb animal noises.

“If I wanted your help, I would’ve asked.” I spat.

The light chuckle he let out only angered me more.

“What’s with the hostility, Lilli?” Will said.

He placed both of his hands on the arm rests of my chair, effectively caging me in. I narrowed my eyes as he leaned down. His face was much too close to mine. The soothing, comforting spiced warmth of his cologne invaded my nostrils, casting a cloud around my head and enveloping me.

Will’s eyes deliberately landed on my lips.

“You should wear red lipstick.” His voice was low, a touch of seduction behind his tone. “I think it’d look good smeared on my face.”

He parted his lips and leaned in ever so slightly, fixing his eyes on mine. A smirk spread on his face as I stiffened.

“Try not to catch feelings.” Will whispered.

His warm breath fanned over my lips. An overwhelming urge to spit in his face came over me, but I was a grown ass adult. I couldn’t resort to that—as much as I would have loved to see the look on his face.

“I’d rather eat my own shit.”

Neither of us moved. We stayed locked in our stare down. I refused to give him the satisfaction of letting him win. The shit eating grin on his face boiled my blood. A deep scowl embedded itself on my face.

Will shifted, slotting himself even closer to me. I had to angle my neck to keep eye contact with him.

“I’d hate to see that pretty face of yours get stuck like that, petal.”

As I was about to reach up and slap the taste from his mouth, Austin’s voice cut through the tension.

“What’s going on here? You two getting in some practice?” He joked, either ignoring or not picking up the clear and utter rage seeping from me.

“Get him away from me Austin, before you guys have to find another vocalist.” The threat tumbled from my mouth. It didn’t sound as dangerous as I intended.

Will licked his lips, tongue dangerously close to grazing mine. He studied me a moment longer then scoffed, stealing a portion of my breath as he stepped back. He turned on his heel and walked away, keeping his focus in front of him.

My head pounded in time with my heart. I kept my eyes on him until he disappeared somewhere on set.

“That was a little fucked up Lillian.” Austin scolded me.

He handed me a bag of throat lozenges, a disapproving expression on his face.

“I’ll apologize to you, but he can kiss my ass.” I rolled my eyes and tossed a lozenge in my mouth. “He’s done nothing but get under my skin since meeting him. He shouldn’t even be here anyway. He wasn’t my choice for the song.”

I could feel the annoyance and irritation radiating off of Austin. He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed heavily. I knew it bothered him how much I disliked Will, but their bond wasn’t important to me. I only cared about mine and Austin’s. Will was nothing but a thorn in my side.

“It’s not Will’s fault the shit with Noah fell through.” He reminded me.

“I know that.”

Austin fixed his eyes on me. His scrutinizing stare made me squirm.

“I’m gonna tell you this again,” he raised his brows, wagging his finger at me while he spoke. “It was a blessing in disguise. Will fits the song better, whether you want to admit it or not Lillian.”

If I rolled my eyes any harder, they’d be stuck in the back of my head—but Austin was right.

What little I managed to work on with Noah sounded good, it just didn’t have the vibe I was hoping for. After that first session together, he and the rest of his band unexpectedly became incredibly busy. We couldn’t make the time to finish the song and eventually it fell apart, leaving me panicked and scrambling to find a replacement.

Austin being the wonderful, supportive, best friend he is, suggested Will. On paper, it looked great. His band and myself were gaining traction like crazy. It would give everyone exposure to our differing fanbases. I would’ve been an idiot to decline, but I still tried to find someone else before eventually agreeing.

Everything started off great and promising. We were polite and friendly, excited to be working together. However, Will and I quickly began to butt heads, resulting in heated arguments and having to stand my ground more than I would’ve liked. It’s a miracle we managed to work together at all, let alone actually finish the song.

“I don’t appreciate the lecture you’re trying to give me.” I turned my attention back to my now lukewarm tea. “Thank you for the lozenges, though.”

Austin heaved a sigh. “I’m not trying to lecture you Lilli. Honest.”

I ignored him, focusing intensely on my cup and the lingering flavor of the honey lemon lozenge. He waited a few beats before giving up and scrubbing his hands over his face.

“Okay. Well, we’re going out after wrapping up. You should come.”

“I have things I need to do.” I lied. Literally anything else sounded better than spending even more time with Will.

Austin wrapped an arm above my chest and hugged me. I gave his arm a few quick pats.

“Adam’s gonna be there.”

My heart jumped.

“I’ll see what I can do.”

I felt the smirk on his lips as he pressed a quick kiss to the side of my head.

“I’ll shoot a text with the details. Have fun with Will.”

Austin squeezed me one last time before disappearing in the same direction after Will.

I did everything in my power to wear anything but red lipstick. Various different shades of pink, nudes—even black, but unfortunately for me, the director insisted on the red.

“It looks better with the dress and it’ll make the pay off for the kiss even better.” I quietly mocked.

The kiss. The big scene. The thing I’ve been dreading all morning. I thought about eating copious amounts of garlic and onion beforehand, but Austin scolded the hell outta me. He knew I’d flip my lid if Will did that to me. Instead, I made sure to pop a mint before taking my place. I just hoped he didn’t like spearmint.

Pins and needles pricked my hands and fingers. I rubbed them together hoping to ease the tingling, only to be met with more stinging pain. I grimaced and shook out my hands.

Deep breaths, Lillian. You’re almost done.

I closed my eyes and focused on my breathing.

It’s just a stupid kiss. It’s part of the job. Just… Think of anyone else.

Hands settled themselves on my shoulders, startling me out of my head.

“Relax, petal, it’s just me.” Will whispered in my ear.

The warmth of his touch and the gentleness of his hands caressing my arms soothed my anxiety and nerves a smidge—not that I would ever let him know that. Or how soft his hands were. Or that the infuriatingly sweet sound of the pet name made me blush.

“Okay! Last scene! Let’s make it a good one!” The director yelled out. “Will, Lillian, make it believable!”

He pressed his forehead to the back of my head as the track kicked on again. I instantly threw out the creeping thoughts of Will.

“My promise is I will hurt you.”

Will’s breath was light and warm on my neck as he sang. He slid his hand down and up my arm. I turned around in his embrace, his hand slipping to my waist. He pulled me closer and I clutched his side. I tried to ignore the deafening thud of my heart in my ears.

“My promise is I will hurt you.”

His other hand caressed the back of my neck. My lips parted slightly as he tipped my head back. He softly tugged my bottom lip with his thumb. Lust billowed from his eyes, like smoke from a raging fire, surrounding me and making it difficult to breathe. I found myself being dragged under his spell and I couldn’t stop it.

“My promise is I will hurt you.”

Our voices blended together, the sound hauntingly beautiful.

As the last few notes of the song played, Will’s eyes flicked to my crimson painted lips, his own parting in anticipation. I leaned in. My tongue delicately licked his bottom lip, capturing it in a sensual, hot kiss. Will’s hand at my neck flexed, gently tightening his grasp and pulling me closer. His tongue slipped in my mouth, a small, content sigh escaping him as ours met and tangled together.

His lips were soft and slotted perfectly with mine. Every breath I took, he stole. I felt detached from myself, lost in the moment and sensation of him. Will teasingly nipped my bottom lip. A tiny smirk tugged the corners of his mouth at the quiet, involuntary moan I made.

Will slipped his hand from my neck, trailing it slowly down to the top of my chest, thumb resting at my pulse. My heart pounded behind my rib cage like it was trying to escape its confines. There was no way he didn’t feel it.

Delicately, he pressed his fingers into my neck, not enough to choke, but enough to make me short circuit and cling to him. My head felt empty, but so full of air. He moved to cradle the back of my skull, his fingers gripping strands of my hair with a gentle roughness. His arm wrapped entirely around my waist.

With a barely there breath, I broke our passionate kiss. My lungs burned from the lack of oxygen. Will nuzzled his nose to my cheek. He kissed the corner of my mouth. His hand slipped from my hair, moving it back to my neck. He pressed his thumb firmly to my pulse.

“Your heart’s racing, Lilli.” He whispered, low and sultry.

I dared a glance at him. Bright crimson was smeared all over his mouth and kiss swollen lips. Will’s eyes burned fiercely with a deep carnal desire so intense, it my stomach flip. He looked at me as if he wanted to devour me whole, like he hadn’t had a meal in days and I was the only thing that could satisfy his voracious appetite. A wave of goosebumps prickled over my skin. The fervency in his gaze stirred something inside me. I craved more.

A chorus of applause and whistling erupted, popping the bubble around me and Will. I quickly pushed myself out of his grasp and hurried off set. I needed out of here and away from this place—especially Will. Without even looking back, I knew he was watching me. I coud feel his scorching eyes on my back.

My face burned like hot coals and the thoughts clambering in my head were giving me a headache. His uncanny ability to claw his way under my skin and twist me around was infuriating.

How could I have let him trap me like that? How could I have let myself enjoy kissing him?

The rest of my day was spent trying to forget the video shoot. No amount of scrubbing or cold water helped me shake the lingering sensation of Will’s lips. It spread like a poison through my body. Every time my eyes closed, the scene replayed on the back of my lids. His soft touch, the warmth and glossed over look in his eyes. My lungs still felt empty.

BZZT! BZZT!

My phone lit up with a text from Austin. I gave the message a quick read, happy to see that the bar was within walking distance of my apartment and one that I frequented often enough to have become a regular. They were all already there and waiting for me. I hadn’t told Austin if I planned to join them because truthfully I was still deciding. It wouldn’t take me long to get ready. I really just did not want to be near Will again.

Another message came through and I sighed, making my way to my closet to find the little black dress that hugged my curves in all the right ways.

“Just an hour,” I muttered to myself, stripping out of the sweats I was wearing. “I’m only staying for an hour. That’s all I have.”

I stared at the dress on the hanger, deciding to forego wearing underwear. Panty lines were something I didn’t want to subconsciously worry about tonight.

Damn Adam and my schoolgirl crush.

Loud music and a barrage of voices greeted me as I entered the bar. Glancing around, I spotted a small group of people far in the back laughing, instantly recognizing Austin’s figure. As if he felt me staring, he looked my direction. His brows raised as he took in my appearance and smirked. I saw him subtly nudge Adam’s foot with his own. Quickly, I turned away and walked towards the bar, taking the first seat I saw.

I gestured to the bartender who nodded in my direction. A searing gaze heated my skin. I glanced over my shoulder, immediately catching Will’s eyes boring into me. He stared a moment longer before hastily excusing himself and disappearing somewhere. I shifted in my seat to try and shake the lingering warmth.

A body blocked my view. I glanced up, a big smile spreading across my face.

“Is this seat taken?” He asked.

Standing up, I wrapped my arms around Adam’s neck, hugging him closely. His arms wrapped low around my waist.

“Of course not.” I sat down. “I’d be more offended if you didn’t sit.”

His chuckle and bright grin made my heart flutter.

“What’re you drinking?”

I brushed my hair away from my neck, gathering it all on my shoulder opposite of Adam. His eyes followed my movements like a hawk, not caring at all for subtly. Smoothing my hands over my thighs, I smiled coyly and pretended I didn’t notice his lingering gaze on my chest.

“I haven’t started yet.” I answered. Adam fixed his pretty blue eyes on mine.

The bartender came around and placed two lemon drop shots on the counter. I handed them my card then slid one of the shots to Adam.

“I can’t stay for long, so make it worth my while?”

Adam smiled again, a flirty glint in his eye. Grabbing the shot, he tipped it towards me.

“I can do that.”

We clinked our glasses together, tapping them on the counter before tossing them back. The sour sweetness of lemon hit harder than I expected. My whole body shivered. Adam grimaced slightly.

“So, tell me about the album.”

My evening with Adam would have been more enjoyable if Will didn’t spend his blatantly staring at me from across the bar. Every time I glanced up, his eyes were burning into me. Each look was more heated than the last. My body felt red hot, either from the alcohol or Will practically eye fucking me, I couldn’t tell. I definitely stayed longer than intended. The hour I allotted turned into three.

“I think I’ve hit my limit.” Adam said with a slur.

I pouted, batting my lashes. “One more shot? For me?”

Adam squinted. “Are you trying to get me drunk?”

“Maybe.”

His scrunched face cracked into a smile. “You’ve convinced me, but this is the last one.”

He signaled for the bartender again while I sensed a familiar gaze on me. Despite the annoyance and anger bubbling in my stomach, I ignored it. I looked Will’s way every time, but I’ve had it with him. If he was trying to get under my skin, it worked.

The bartender returned with our shots. Before Adam could toss it back, I stopped him by hooking my arm around his. He looked stunned by our sudden closeness. In my periphery, I noticed Will stiffen.

“Last one. Might as well make it count, right?” I said, low and sultry.

Adam’s eyes flicked to my lips then back to me.

“Absolutely.”

I felt the rumble in his voice deep in my bones—and pussy. Our eyes and arms stayed locked together as we struggled to take our shots through our giggles. We spilled more than half of them on ourselves, but neither of us cared. Being so close to Adam was far more intoxicating than the booze flowing in my blood. His lips were so close I could almost taste them.

“You have really pretty eyes.” Adam leaned in closer. “They’re like sapphires.”

My cheeks flushed. Our faces were mere inches apart. It wouldn’t take much to close the distance. Adam’s large hand delicately landed on my knee. A set of brown daggers bore into the side of my face.

“Your card, Lillian.” The bartender’s voice broke through mine and Adam’s atmosphere.

Adam retracted his hand. Coldness quickly replaced the warmth he left. All the alcohol I consumed rushed to my head. I thanked them and shoved the card back in my purse.

“I, uh, should probably head home.” I forced a polite smile. “I stayed way too late.”

He mimicked my smile though it didn’t reach his eyes. “Sure. You have a ride home?”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

I wanted to tell him I was walking home, ask him if he’d walk me there, but that felt juvenile. Instead, I hugged him as tightly as I could and left him alone at the bar.

The temperature dropped quite a bit since I arrived. I shivered as I sat down on the bench, silently cursing myself for wearing such a short dress. It may have been black and long sleeved, but it damn near exposed my entire ass and certainly didn’t leave much to the imagination.

I ran my hands over my thighs in a poor attempt to warm them. The sound of the bar door opening caught my attention. I looked towards the sound, hoping to see Adam, only to be severely let down by Will’s unwelcome presence.

I didn’t even try to make the irritated groan I let out.

“Lilli—“

“Go away, Will.”

He walked over towards me and stopped. I refused to look at him. My head was already fuzzy and jumbled enough. I didn’t need his warm eyes or gentle expression fucking me up further.

Running a hand over his face, he sighed heavily.

“I’m not letting you sit out here drunk and alone.” Will said, sitting on the opposite side of the bench. “I was raised better than that.”

He draped an arm across the top of the bench and crossed his legs. There was a hint of malice behind that ‘I’, and it seemed like he was trying to imply something.

I scoffed. “I don’t need you to babysit me.”

Stifling tension grew between us. Even out here, his damn eyes warmed my skin. It infuriated me. I was sick of him staring at me.

I jumped off the bench and stormed off in the direction of my apartment.

“Lilli? Lilli!” He called after me. I hurried my pace when I heard him get up.

“Where are you going?! Lillian!”

The use of my full name stopped me dead in my tracks. I reeled around, momentarily startled by how close he was.

“Home!” My body trembled with the volume I shouted. “And more importantly: away from you!”

Will looked stunned at my sudden outburst. I hoped he felt the anger radiating from me.

Huffing another frustrated breath, I turned and continued stomping along the pavement. A shiver spread through my body. My blood was boiling but not enough to keep me warm. I hastily rummaged through my purse in search of my keys. A second set of footsteps started following a few paces behind me. Any fight or argument I had in me died when I felt something pleasantly warm settle on my shoulders

I turned my head just enough to see Will’s jacket draped over my shoulders, his spiced cologne swarming my nose.

“You’re shivering.” He said flatly.

Deciding it would be a waste of breath to argue, I let Will follow me home. He left plenty of space between us. His jacket was as close as I wanted him. The rest of the walk was uncomfortably quiet. Drunken exhaustion tugged heavily at my bones with every step. My bed had never been so enticing before. I was beyond ready to sleep this day away.

My building came into view and I sighed, feeling relieved. Will hurried to stand by my side. I punched in the code and the door unlocked.

“You can leave now, you annoying prick.” I yanked the door open.

“Not until I know you’re in your apartment.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Jesus fucking Christ, you’re literally worse than a stray fucking puppy.”

My words seemed to have struck a nerve. He grabbed my wrist as I stepped through the door.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

He tried pulling me back to him, but I ripped out of his grasp. Ignoring his angry yells after me, I took the steps two at a time. All the rage festering in my blood was on the verge of bursting open my skin. I don’t know how much more clear I could be with Will.

My fingers trembled as I desperately tried to unlock my door before Will followed.

“Sonuvabitch!” I spat, dropping my keys.

“LILLIAN!”

Will emerged from the stairwell. The neighbors were about to be very rudely awoken.

“FUCK OFF WILL!”

Finally, I got the door unlocked. Unfortunately, I couldn’t close it fast enough. Will snaked his way through, narrowly avoiding being crushed between the door frame and door.

“What the fuck is your problem, Lillian?!”

“YOU!” I shoved him against the door, causing it to slam shut. “You’ve done nothing but piss me off and get under my skin all day!”

I kicked off my shoes and forcefully shrugged off Will’s jacket, no longer finding the gesture kind or nice. He took a step towards me as I threw my purse down. I was seething. If looks could kill, Will would be dead where he stood. I closed the short distance between us and glared up defiantly at him. His own anger was evident on his face.

“You weren’t even my first choice for the song to begin with! You were hardly my second! I was too fucking nice to tell Austin no when he suggested you!”

Will scoffed. “You should be thanking him and me! If it wasn’t for me, you’re fucking song wouldn’t have taken off the way it did!”

Skin on skin echoed off the walls of my small apartment. My hand stung from the smack, but the red mark on Will’s face certainly helped ease the pain. Will licked his lips. His jaw tensed as he glared at me.

“How fucking dare you?” My voice shook with rage.

I raised my hand to slap him again, but he caught my wrist mid swing. He looked like he wanted to say something else. Will yanked me close to him, leaving whatever he wanted to say unspoken as he crashed our lips together. My tongue instantly slipped between his teeth, desperately seeking to tangle with his. His hands grabbed at my waist, needy and rough.

There was no tenderness in the kiss. Could it be passionate if it was fueled by hate and rage?

Will walked us backwards, pushing me against the nearest wall he could. He broke the kiss with a loud gasp, then kissed every millimeter of my jaw, trailing them down to my neck.

“You’re so hot when you act like you hate me.” Will husked, his breath searing my neck and covering the sensitive skin in playful, quick nips.

“It’s not an act.” My voice was breathless, almost needy.

His lips curved into a small smirk. “If you hated me, you wouldn’t be letting me kiss you.”

I muttered a quiet swear. He teasingly brushed his lips across my throat to get to the other side of my neck, taking great care to cover it just as thoroughly with soft bites.

Will inhaled deeply, pressing his body closer to mine. “You smell so good.”

His mouth attached to my neck again, licking a trail of hot, open mouthed kisses everywhere he could reach. I clutched his sides with a breathless sigh. Will softly rutted his hips into me. My head spun feeling the erection confined in his jeans. I arched my back in a silent plea, one he was more than happy to answer.

Will detached from me briefly and wrapped his arms around me, lifting me off the ground. I threaded my fingers in his hair, panting heavily.

“Where?” He asked in between a series of kisses.

I hooked my legs behind him as he walked over to my sofa. “Couch.”

Gently, Will set me on the plush cushions. My dress slid up, fully exposing my pussy. He planted a hand on the back of the couch and straddled my lap, caging me in.

His lustful eyes sliced into me. For the second time today, I found myself under his spell. I was frozen, hypnotized. My heart pounded against my ribs, the thudding deafening my ears. Will dipped his head and parted his lips, his warm breath fanning over mine. His free hand slipped between our bodies.

“I’d ask why you’re not wearing panties, but I don’t care.” His voice was low, drenched in desire. “Easier for me to get to.”

“Sure you don’t wanna make a snide remark? Don’t wanna call me me slut? Maybe a whore?”

He chuckled lightly against my neck. “Only if you’re into that, petal.”

Long, slender fingers delicately caressed my center. My eyes fluttered shut and my head fell back, giving Will total and complete access to my neck.

The urgency he had earlier waned. He explored the canvas of my throat, softly painting my skin with his tongue. A breathless moan ghosted past my lips as he nipped just above my collarbone. His middle fingers teasingly ran along my slit, then dipped into my wetness.

Will groaned quietly, becoming more aggressive with his bites as he collected my arousal. He teased my entrance, barely slipping inside, but enough to make me whine softly. The noise I made prompted him to insert his finger. I rewarded him with another moan, louder and more needy this time. The gentleness of his intimate touch and his roughness of teeth overwhelmed me. Every movement was purposeful and deliberate, working to figure out what made me tick. It didn’t take him long to find perfection.

“Shit,” I gasped, feeling a second finger slip inside.

“Lilli,” the sound of my name in Will’s sultry tone nearly broke me.

All I offered was a “hm?”

“I can’t help but wonder,” he curled his fingers, finding my sweet spot with such ease, it’s like he’d done it a thousand and one times, “Do you taste as good as you feel?”

Will smirked devilishly in the crook of my neck when he felt me throb.

“I’m pretty good with my tongue.”

“Put your money where your mouth is then.” I challenged him.

His lips curved then he harshly bit my neck.

“With fucking pleasure, petal.”

Will pulled his fingers from me and quickly sank to his knees. He spread my thighs open, eyes fixed on the dripping mess he helped make.

“What a pretty pussy.” He whispered to himself.

His lips connected to my thigh, warm breath fanning over the sensitive skin. He split his time, making sure to give each thigh adequate attention. Will followed the trail of bite marks, kissing every one of them so softly, I would have missed it if I wasn’t watching him.

I gasped quietly when his mouth ghosted over my outer lips. My eyes fluttered shut. He blessed my pussy with light, gentle kisses before licking a long stripe and spreading me open.

“God I fucking hate you,” I moaned, arching my back.

Will groaned between my legs, licking my pussy like a man starved. His experienced tongue worked in ways I don’t think even sober me could comprehend. The noises he pulled from me were loud and shameful. Every whimper I made fueled him. He pushed my thighs further open and back. I glanced down at him, instantly finding his lustful stare. I ignored the fluttering in my chest.

An inhuman grunt sounded from Will, almost resembling a snarl. The noise vibrated through me, causing me to buck my hips and toss my head back.

“Fuck.”

His nose brushed my clit as he lapped desperately. The obscene, feral snarling was insanely hot and arousing. The starving man was gone and had been replaced with a rabid, unhinged animal. He couldn’t devour me fast enough. I grabbed a fistful of his wild curls, tugging the locks roughly at the root. Will grunted as I guided his head where I wanted him. He sucked my clit between his lips, and flattened his tongue, firmly pressing his tongue against the sensitive bud.

My eyes rolled back, a tense knot forming in my gut. I gripped his hair tighter. Will noticed the change in my breathing. His fingers dug into my thighs. He submissively let me grind his face against me, going where I moved him.

His name set heavily on the tip of my tongue, but I managed to swallow it down before the knot loosened, giving way to my climax. Stars plastered the back of my eyelids. An erotic, depraved cacophony filled my apartment. My chest heaved with a blend of loud and whisper quiet moans. Will didn’t stop until my wailing did.

He softly brought my legs down, peppering my pussy and inner thighs with more kisses peered up at me. The tip of his nose to the bottom of his chin glistening. He looked great down on his knees.

Something overcame me. In a quick motion, I reached for Will’s face, bringing his lips back to mine. I’d tasted myself plenty, but something about Will made the taste better. Carnal desire buzzed under my skin. I never needed anyone as badly as I needed Will right now

I broke the kiss and leaned away from Will so I could look in his eyes. He followed after me trying to chase my lips. The absolute pure, unadulterated lust in his eyes washed over me, saturating me entirely. An unfamiliar emotion swelled in my chest.

“I need you.” I whispered, scared I would break through the world we created.

“You can have me, Lillian.” Will breathed against my lips then connected them once more.

My hands left Will’s face and went for his jeans. I palmed his bulge, relishing in the small noise he made. He rutted into my hand, his own desperation giving way. I unbuttoned and unzipped him then tugged at the waistbands of his pants and underwear, freeing him slightly.

With a gentle touch, I wrapped my hand around his hard cock. We both moaned, me at his size and Will at my firm grip. I swiped my thumb over his leaking tip. Will gasped softly, gripping the back of the couch. His quiet whimpers as I touched him, jerking slow and methodical, greatly turned me on. I brought my other hand to my pussy, not at all surprised to find myself soaked.

Will’s eyes were scrunched tight. I ran my slick covered fingers over the head of his cock, and he whined. The needy, outright pathetic sound shot straight to my core. He started thrusting as I continued to stroke him. Seeing him melt into a mess at just my hands almost made me forget how desperately I needed him inside me.

“Lillian,” he whined, lost in his own pleasure.

“What is it, pretty boy?” I brushed our lips together, a small smirk on my face. His dick twitched ever so slightly.

Without warning, Will ripped my hands away from him. Momentarily confused, I watched as he hastily removed his shoes and shoved his bottoms down past his knees, his cock springing free. I hurriedly shifted so I was laying on my back. I spread my legs as wide as could, giving him plenty of access. Will came back to me, hovering over my body and staring deep into the depths of my being.

He grabbed his dick and slid the tip up and down my slit.

“For someone who says they hate me, you sure are wet.”

I squirmed under him as he rubbed my clit with his tip.

“Believe me, I do fucking hate you.”

Will huffed a laugh. He leaned down, pressing his lips to my ear and cock to my entrance.

“I’m gonna enjoy fucking that attitude out of you.”

His voice was dark and seedy, a complete and utter contrast to everything else I’ve known from him. The words sent a delightful shudder through my bones.

My retort died in my throat as Will slammed into me, making me cry out. He pulled out, leaving just his tip inside, then pounded me again, bottoming out. His cock stretched me, filling me entirely. My walls clenched, molding around his size. His thrusts were deep and long. It didn’t take me long to be rendered speechless.

“Fuck, you feel so. Fucking. Good,” Will grunted, accentuating his words with powerful thrusts.

One of his hands roughly grabbed my breast. His teeth grazed along my jaw. My hands slipped under his shirt and I pressed my fingertips into his taut abs. His skin was so warm and soft.

“I wish I could feel more of your skin.” He husked.

A shrill moan erupted from me. I dug my nails into his waist. The tip of Will’s cock hit the sensitive spongy spot inside. My mouth fell open, a string of incoherent babbling and salacious moans escaping me with every strained breath I took, unable to think of anything but the immense pleasure as he kept his pace.

“You sound so fucking pretty falling apart, petal,” Will rasped into my neck. “I need you to sing louder for me.”

And I did. I cried out every sound he wanted to hear, his own pleasure filled sounds drowned out by mine.

“That’s it,” his breath was blindingly hot on my mouth, “Sing for me, my little songbird.”

A second orgasm barreled through me. I clutched shamelessly and desperately to Will. I pulled his chest flush to mine and wrapped my legs around him, keeping him buried inside as my walls clenched around his dick. He murmured something, but I was lost to ecstasy.

Will licked my bottom lip into his mouth then unloaded, his strained whimper getting caught in our sloppy, desperate mashing of lips and tongues. He thrust with each spasm of his cock, fucking his cum inside me slow and deep, making sure my cunt received every last drop.

The fire between us dwindled as exhaustion pulled at our muscles. Our kiss became lazy, turning to simple soft pecks then to merely ghosting together. He tenderly pressed his forehead to mine, breath heavy on my lips. Gently, I placed my hand on his cheek. Will lifted his head enough to look me in my eyes. The heat I felt all night from his stare washed over me once again, only this time it was calmer, more like a comforting warmth of a fireplace on a snowy winter’s night.

Will kept his intense gaze fixed on mine and kissed the inside of my wrist. My heart skipped and I wondered if he felt it. I craned my neck and brought our lips together again, overcome with the desire for him to steal every breath I had remaining in my lungs.

For that moment, I forgot all about how much I despised Will.

WILL’S POV

I could have left her to sleep on the couch. I didn’t need to carry her to bed, but she looked so uncomfortable curled up on the couch. Soft snores fluttered past her lips. She looked ethereal in the moonlight, a soft silver glow illuminating her figure. Her chest and neck was littered in tiny little bruises from my teeth. She would be furious when she saw them, I’m sure of it. I brushed strands of her onyx colored hair from her angelic face. My heart lurched. Fuck she was gorgeous.

I leaned down and softly kissed her plump lips. A small whine left her. I chuckled lightly and kissed her again, this time her lips curved in a tiny smile, one I would have missed if I wasn’t already focused on her mouth. Lillian shifted in her sleep and turned her body away from me.

With a defeated sigh, I pulled myself away from her. I doubt she would want me here in the morning, so I decided I should probably leave. I exited her room and walked towards the kitchen. Quietly, I looked through her cabinets for cups. Once I found them, I grabbed one and filled it with water. Next I went to her bathroom in search of ibuprofen. It felt like an invasion of privacy to rummage through her medicine cabinet, but leaving her water and medication was the least I could do.

My reflection grabbed my attention. Faintly, I could see color on my cheek from her smack. It still stung—and stirred something inside me that I would need to unpacked later—but it was rightfully deserved. Her song was great with or without me. She had immense talent. I don’t know why I said such a cruel thing.

I set the water and meds on her bedside table. I allowed myself to admire her one last time before placing one final kiss on her cheek.

Shutting the bedroom door behind me, I glanced around the living room for my jacket. It laid in a crumpled pile at the front door. I stared at it, internally debating if I should leave it or not.

If I take it, I have no reason to come back, but if I leave it, there’s a chance I do.

I scoffed at myself.

“‘I fucking hate you.’” I repeated her words. “Yeah, I wish that was a mutual feeling.”

I turned the handle, leaving my jacket on the floor as I left her apartment.

The irony of me telling her to not catch feelings only to fall victim to my own warning.

[gabessquishytum]

So this was literally a horny dream I had: Hob is a highwayman. Lil bit of a Robin Hood type, robbing the rich to give to the poor (but also pocketing a good bit of the money he's no saint). And one day he waylays a carriage, and is in the process of relieving the occupants of their valuables, when he notices that something is... off. The carriage has a bunch of guards and only two occupants, an older man with a cane and an absolutely beautiful man about Hob's age, maybe a little younger. But neither of them has anything terribly valuable on them, so why all the guards? And why is the older man watching the young man more carefully than HOB, a robber with a loaded gun? And the young man looks awful, exhausted and disheveled and heartsick, maybe even a little physically sick, like he's been running on spite instead of food and water for... a while now.

The young man isn't watching Hob either, his eyes keep darting between the open carriage door and the old man. And there's a brief moment that the robbery gets tense and he flinches, which is perfectly reasonable behavior in a robbery, except that he's flinching TOWARD Hob, who is, again, a robber with a loaded gun.

So Hob, trusting his instincts, turns to the young man with a rougish grin, and says something about how there's nothing of value in the carriage- unless, perhaps, the young man is worth the ransom. He's got his back to the older man, and he's frantically trying to convey what he's actually asking with his eyes, even though this is a complete stranger who probably doesn't know him well enough for that.

But the young man nods, almost imperceptibly.

Hob immediately gets an arm around his wait and drags him from the carriage. None of the guards seem quite sure what to do as he slowly backs away, gun trained on their leader. The young man in his arms puts up a very good show of resisting capture without actually hampering Hob's grip on him, or his aim. (And I'm not quite capturing the vibe of the dream, where they've both wholeheartedly decided to trust each other in this life-or-death situation, but it was like- those two minutes of slowly backing away, Hob rambling about demanding a ransom in the hope of baffling everyone with his bullshit, have bonded the two of them for life, becauseit proved to both of them they can trust each other absolutely)

As soon as they're a good way off from the carriage, Hob grabs the man's hand and runs.

Once they're back at Hob's hideout the man introduces himself: his name is Dream, he's the second son of an extremely powerful family. The other man in the carriage, Roderick Burgess, had essentially kidnapped him, dragging him away from whatever university he was at to have him forcibly married to one of his sons. He suspects that a member of his own family helped arrange the forced marriage, but he can't be certain.

I forget how exactly it played out, but Hob ended up offering to go back to Dream's family home with him, essentially as a bodyguard- Dream is planning to just run away before anyone can succeed at forcibly marrying him off, but there are a few valuables he needs to grab from his family home first, and a few of his siblings he wants to let know about his plans.

So they do that. Although I think if I were doing this as a fic I'd put a little breather here, where they stay in Hob’s hideout for a bit until they can pull together a disguise for Hob, and Hob ends up nursing Dream back to health because he is a MESS from the kidnapping- nobody had physically harmed him (yet), but between the stress and the fact that he spent the whole time refusing to eat (partially out of spite, partially fear of being drugged) it did a NUMBER on him.

(Also this wasn't just a nebulously historical au in my dream it also nebulously took place in the omegaverse, which mostly meant that 'forced marriage' was also 'forced mating' but there was also this thing where when they do go back to Dream's family home, alpha!Hob is pretending to be omega!Dream's chaperone. And I would LOVE to figure out what sort of worldbuilding my subconscious mind intended to exist there.)

So they go back to Dream's family, and it's tense. Hob is pretending to be a Societally Acceptable acquaintance of Dream's, who's chaperoning him for Dream's safety after Dream escaped from being kidnapped twice. Dream's spinning a story about how Burgess kidnapped him, and then he was double-kidnapped by a highwayman, but managed to run away from the highwayman and went to his friend Robert for help. Dream's parents are pretending they know NOTHING about why Burgess would POSSIBLY have kidnapped Dream.

And everyone is pretending to believe each other's lies. Hob picks up on how to mimic 'upper-class gentleman' fairly quickly, but he's an awful actor (so ironically, the impression he's giving isn't 'highwayman pretending to be a gentleman' so much as it's 'gentleman who's lying about how he knows Dream'). And Dream and Hob both know that whoever arranged for Dream to be kidnapped in the first place will try again.

So they grab Dream’s belongings the first chance they get, slip a note to Death explaining what they're going to do (and asking her to explain things to Delirium if she gets the chance), and run for it. (And proceed to do a lot of robbery together, still Robin Hood style but specifically targeting people that Dream KNOWS are assholes. Hob's in charge of strategy, Dream's in charge of covering their tracks, they cooperate on the actual robbery part. Hob often tells Dream that he knew from the moment they met that they'd be able to work together this well.)

Burgess does eventually catch up to them, but by that point there's not much he can DO. He can't accuse them of theft, no one would ever believe that the lovely young couple living in a modest house at the edge of town are secretly criminals. Sure, they definitely have money but they're so generous with it, they couldnt be thevies. And even if someone DID believe him, Dream covered their tracks too well.

And he can't pull off the forced marriage thing, either, because Hob and Dream are very much married/mated. (And maybe, depending on how long it takes Burgess to catch up, have a kid on the way...)

YAY!! ficlet in my inbox!! I'm jealous of your dreaming brain, to be honest. Last night I dreamt I was playing catch with a hamster.

I especially like this being omegaverse because the whole "forced mating" thing is such a genuinely horrifying threat and I love the hurt/comfort of it all. The biological compulsion of mating and heats and all that stuff is so genuinely scary, and I bet Dream would HATE his body for it's omegaish tendencies. Adding my own personal omegaverse headcanon, I like the idea of Dream actively getting sick because he's with Burgess, who is literally physically repellent to him. Like, his body actively rejects the whole thing and even starts to shut down because the scent is so disgusting, he can't deal with it any more... its only when he's been around Hob’s scent for a while, that he actually starts to recover properly.

Imagine how proud Dream would be of his mating mark, one which comes from genuine love and mutual respect. He'd be standing behind Hob looking so smug as Burgess rages and throws a tantrum. How dare Dream be happy?! Hob is probably itching for permission to kill Burgess for threatening/scaring/just being in Dream’s presence, but Dream doesn't even care. He wants Burgess to live and suffer in his miserable old age with a son who doesn't even like him.

Meanwhile Dream will be happily raising his own son with Hob, and having the time of his life commiting dramatic robberies and distributing wealth among those who deserve it. Its the happiness he truly deserves.

[of-many-fandomss]

Mob!AU with Pietro Maximoff x Stark!daughter reader? Either they’re from rival mafias or Pietro works for the Stark family, whatever you think works best. Maybe a Romeo & Juliet vibe where they see each in secret, but with a happier ending?

AHHH IM OBSESSED WITH THIS- THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING

—————

“Guess who,” That infuriatingly flirtatious voice floated into your ear, the breath of its owner hot against the back of your neck.

“Stop,” You huffed, trying to push yourself out of the arm he had slid around your waist, not playing into his game. You ignored the butterflies that had erupted in your stomach and the fire that lingered wherever he touched, “We can’t do this right now.”

Pietro smirked down at you as you pivoted to look at him, an all too familiar glint of mischief lingering in his eyes, “I couldn’t think of a better place.” He tried to play it off innocently, but you knew better.

You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms over your chest, desperately trying to convey that you were annoyed at being pulled into a random supply closet you had been walking past on your way to the kitchen. He didn’t need to know how the crammed conditions to him were making you feel.

“My dad will actually kill you, Maximoff.” You tsked, “We already know that he’s just looking for an excuse to do it.”

It was then his turn to roll his eyes, though there was a great playfulness about him as he did so, “Psh, we both know I’m his favorite employee.”

Employee was a loose term for deadly assassin.

And while Pietro might not be Tony’s favorite, he definitely was one of the biggest assets.

“No,” You poked his chest, the task itself not being difficult considering you had mere inches apart between you two already, “We both know that you enjoy pissing him off a little too much.”

“The don would’ve killed me long ago if that’s what he had wanted.” The man gently took your hand off his chest and held it in his own, squeezing it once.

You sighed irritably, eyes fluttering shut as you suddenly softened and spoke, “We can’t keep sneaking around like this, Piet.”

He smirked, leaning close and beginning to leave a trail of kisses along your exposed neck- you, unable to help yourself, sighing slightly and titling your head back as he did so.

“And why not?” He muttered against your skin, “It’s so much fun.”

Before he could get much further, you got ahold of yourself and mustered every bit of strength that you could to gently push him away.

His eyebrows furrowed momentarily as you gingerly took his face in your hands, making him look you in the eyes.

“I don’t want to keep sneaking around anymore.” You clarified in a whisper.

For once, the man was silent, his eyes searching yours for some unknown purpose.

After a few moments, he finally breathed out, “I don’t either.”

“Good.” You took his hands into yours, being the one to squeeze them this time, almost eagerly, “Then let’s not. I’m tired of acting as if I don’t know you whenever we’re in the same room as others.”

Pietro carefully detached one of his hands from yours and swept a stray piece of hair behind your ears, “Weren’t you just the one saying that your dad will kill me?”

“I won’t let him.” You promised earnestly.

He was silent for another moment before he leaned in and softly captured your lips against his, “Then let’s do it.” He breathed out when he pulled away, “No more hiding. No more lies.”

A genuine smile broke out onto your face, “I can’t wait.”

[sxcret-garden]

Theo ღ Be Mine [M]

ღ P1Harmony Theo x fem!reader ღ feat.: Keeho ღ words: ~5.8k ღ genre: smut (dom!Theo, some nipple play, marking, fingering, unprotected sex, drunk sex, jealous Theo is a little possessive), college AU, enemies to lovers vibes ღ warnings: alcohol consumption, (reader is smaller than him)

Desc.: You’ve had secret feelings for Choi Taeyang for a while now, and you’re anything but happy about them. So now that your childhood friend Keeho has invited the both of you to his party, you’re forced to decide if you want to keep avoiding him, or if you want to finally take your chance and make him yours. 

It was the exact moment that your eyes met his the second you entered through the door of your friend Keeho’s house, that you decided to get absolutely shitfaced tonight - with he not referring to the guy you’ve known since childhood, but one of his friends whose personality you just can’t put your finger on. All you know is he makes you nervous, but not in the bad way. More in a way where your heart starts beating harder and you feel your temperature rising if you stand too close to him. You very much have a horrible crush on this guy, but instead of conveying that to him, you shoot him a glare and then walk the other way. 

“What’s with the mood?” Keeho immediately catches up to you and starts up a conversation. “I thought we’re here to celebrate today?”

“Just give me alcohol,” you huff, and you two approach something like an improvised bar set up in the living room of his house. His family is gone for the weekend, so that’s why he decided he needed to use the opportunity to throw a big party to celebrate. What you’re celebrating? Nobody really knows, but there’s alcohol and that’s reason enough for the average college student to show up. Thus, his house is already pretty crowded - another thing you’re not a big fan of. However, with some liquor in your system you should be fine, and then, if you manage to avoid him, you might even be able to have some fun tonight.

Keeho pours you a cup of the fruit punch that he got who knows where. Maybe he even made it himself, in which case you probably shouldn’t even consider drinking it with the way he almost gave you alcohol poisoning with another experimental drink of his a while back. 

“Turn that frown upside down!” he tells you with a singsong tone in his voice as he hands you the red plastic cup, and you shoot him an angry glare.

“Shut up…” you bark back, but he doesn’t seem to take it personally. Instead he just grins at how you down the cup in one go, and without the need for words, he grants you a refill right away.

“Someone’s looking for a way to escape reality today, aren’t you?” he remarks. As you feel the mixture of sugar and alcohol entering your blood flow almost right away and making your body feel a little lighter, you finally relax a little.

“Did you have to invite him?” you answer with a question.

“Him?” Keeho questions, and in no time he seems to figure out who you’re talking about. “Oh, you mean Taeyang?” A disgruntled noise from your side tells him he’s right with his assumption. “He’s a good friend of mine. How could I not invite him?”

“I don’t like him?” Silence follows, and Keeho raises his eyebrows as he gives you a judging look.

“You do though…?” he eventually answers. “I think you just don’t like the fact that you like him.” You feel yourself agreeing with him, and before that feeling can turn into coherent thoughts, you say,

“I don’t wanna talk about it. Let’s go do something fun.”

“I can introdu-”

“No need.” You cut him off sharply, then you start walking towards the garden. Keeho follows suit, and he puts his arm loosely around your shoulders.

“What if I tell you he’s taken an interest in you too?” he suddenly says just when you’ve reached the door leading from the living room to the veranda. You feel your heart stop for a second upon hearing those words, but you do your best not to let your friend notice.

“You sure I shouldn’t bring him to say hi to you?” Keeho follows up with a question and you spin on your heels to face him, your dress fluttering in the warm summer air. You’re usually not the type to wear dresses unless it’s for a formal occasion, but somehow Keeho kept insisting on how good you would look in this one and how much he’d love to see you wear a dress casually just once, so eventually you gave in. Not because he convinced you 100%, it’s mostly because he wouldn’t stop bugging you about it and you really needed him to shut up for once. 

“Very sure,” you retort. “Now, I’m getting tipsy so that means I’m in the mood to dance.” You hold your hand out to him, waiting for him to take it.

“There isn’t even proper music playing,” he argues.

“Well, you’re the host, so do something about it!” 

“Alright. I’ll be right back,” Keeho says, and with a grin and an excited spark in his eyes, he rushes back inside to turn on some proper music to party to, while you tend to the cup in your hand and empty this one in no time too. You won’t be able to keep holding it while you’re dancing anyway, so you might as well finish it and get a new one once you want another drink. Throwing it into the trash bin out in the garden that Keeho must’ve prepared beforehand, you hear a familiar tune resound from the speakers both inside the house and outside on the terrace. It’s a song you’ve liked ever since you first discovered it, and when you see your childhood friend coming out of the house and returning straight to you, you shoot him a proud look.

“You know what I like,” you remark with a grin on your lips, to which he shoots you a similar expression as he takes you by the hands.

“I can’t have you being unhappy at my party,” he says, and you appreciate the thought. Then you start dancing, along with some other people around you. For a while neither of you says anything, and you just enjoy the way the music, the alcohol, and your and Keeho’s synchronized movements are gradually making you feel more at peace with the situation you’re in. However, at some point any kind of happiness needs to end, and so does this one when your beloved but sometimes slightly annoying childhood friend opens his mouth.

“So… what is it about Taeyang that you like so much?”

“Ugh…” you reply with a groan and avoid eye contact with your friend.

“Or… maybe it’s easier if I ask what you dislike so much about this?” Keeho keeps going ruthlessly. “I mean, he might seem like an angry kitten at first, but really he’s a nice and reliable guy once you’ve gotten to know him a little.” Something about the way he worded that first part bothers you, but you decide not to give it too much thought.

“Can we just not talk about him?” you retort instead, and though you notice the way Keeho sighs at you, you don’t react to it. There is one thing that Keeho doesn’t know. There is no need for him to introduce you two, because technically you already know each other - if having one conversation can be called knowing someone, but you suppose Taeyang at least became an acquaintance through that. The topic you talked about was something mundane, you remember it was after one of your shared lectures, but you don’t remember any details of what was said. Details that you do remember however were the way he swiped his hair back mid sentence, the way the look in his eyes was so intense that it made you feel the urge to start a staring battle with him right on the spot simply because you wanted to prove to yourself that you could withstand it, or the feeling you were left with once he walked out of the lecture hall. You’d never felt yourself this attracted to a stranger - or anyone for that matter - and still you can’t even grasp the full reason why. Sure, he isn’t ugly, and he’s on the tall side too, but that applies to many guys. There must be something else that keeps drawing your full attention to him like a spell put on you whenever you happen to spot him somewhere at uni or your paths cross out in the hallways on the way from one class to the other. And the way you just can’t figure out what that something is makes you hate these feelings that you have for him and that only seem to be growing stronger with each passing day - or maybe it’s the fact that you have no idea how to approach him and make him yours. But you would never admit any of that out loud.

“Oh, you know what?” Keeho’s exclaim tears you out of your thoughts and brings you back to reality. “We should get some games from the basement for later. Drunk Twister sounds like a good idea.”

“It sounds like a horrible idea to me so I won’t take part, but I can help you carry some games upstairs?” you suggest, and Keeho nods. You’re a little sad when you let yourselves fall out of the rhythm to walk back inside, where you check your surroundings first of all. Taeyang seems nowhere in sight, so you relax a little and you let out a small sigh. You follow Keeho across the house and to the basement, when suddenly, halfway down the stairs, he abruptly comes to a halt right in front of you so you almost crash face first into his back.

“Oh, I forgot something,” he shouts, and then turns around one step below you. “I was gonna bring something with me to the basement, mind if I go get it real quick?” You step aside as if to signal him that it’s alright with you, and he hurries back up the stairs past you. You sigh as you watch him disappear into the hallway, and somehow you must realize you’re not as annoyed with him as you usually are when he pulls things like this. 

“Is it the alcohol?” you question. “I should drink more often in that case.” You let out a dry laugh and lean against the cool wall of the staircase, directing your gaze at your shoes while you wait. You picked out sneakers to go with the dress, because if you’re already forced to wear something you’re not used to wearing normally, you at least want your feet to be comfortable. Plus, these simple black and white chucks suit any kind of clothing - or at least that’s what you think. A smile crosses your lips - whether it’s because you’re suddenly proud that you didn’t let your best friend annoy you into wearing 100% what he wants, or if it’s just the bliss of being slightly drunk so you don’t care. And then you notice someone approaching the stairs in the corner of your eye, and when you raise your chin to yell at Keeho for taking so long, the words suddenly get stuck in your throat.

“Oh.” That is all he says upon recognizing you. And recognize you he did within a second, you’re sure of that from the way his expression quickly changes from surprise to something like a closed door, as if he had something to hide. Choi Taeyang… his name pops up in your mind, but that’s about the only thought your brain can produce at that moment. His gaze drops from your face to the stairs as he starts to descend them, and when he’s about two steps away from you, he raises the plastic box in his hand. You notice it contains several other smaller boxes on closer look and you wonder just why it was so important for Keeho to bring them to the basement today and not any other time. 

“Keeho asked me to take these with me and to help you carry some games to the living room,” Taeyang explains, mostly looking at the ground in front of him. However, when your gazes meet for a second, you can feel goose bumps forming on your arms and legs, and at the same time that familiar heat arises in your stomach again. You curse Keeho in your mind as it dawns on you that he most likely sent Taeyang here to set you two up, then you turn your back to the guy next to you and you walk all the way downstairs, closely followed by him.

“Give me those,” you say, gesturing to the boxes usually used to store leftovers, and when Taeyang hands them to you, your fingers touch for a split second. You try to ignore the electric spark this causes you to feel just where your skin came in contact with his, and instead you put the boxes to their rightful place. Then you immediately move on to the next shelf to look for some fun games - you have no time to lose if you want to get out of here as fast as possible.

“You sure know this place well,” Taeyang remarks. “Do you come around here often?”

“Well, me and Keeho have known each other for an eternity so… pretty much,” you answer.

“Oh, so you are the childhood friend he keeps talking about!” the guy next to you exclaims. 

“Yeah,” you respond while taking a few games out of the shelf and quickly handing them to Taeyang. You must admit you appreciate the small talk, especially while having a perfectly valid excuse to avoid having to make eye contact with Taeyang. Still, you’re starting to curse Keeho even more upon learning that he seems to have already told Taeyang quite a lot about you. 

“Isn’t this enough?” he questions as you turn back to the shelf and search all the various boxes with your eyes. 

“He said to bring Twister too,” you explain, just before the colorful box comes into sight. “Found it!”

“Twister?” Taeyang repeats. “Not a fan of it.”

“Me neither,” you agree, and then you get on tiptoes, trying to reach the box on the top shelf, but failing horribly. Next to you, you can hear Taeyang chuckling softly at the sight, and when you’re about to yell at him for it, he puts the games you already handed him aside and approaches you. Trapping you between the shelf and his body, he reaches the box with ease and recovers it for you.

“There you go,” he says while handing it to you, and you’re not sure if he’s making fun of your height or if he’s being sincere, but from the way a somewhat shy smile has formed on his lips you guess it’s probably the latter. And it makes your heart flutter in a way you’ve never felt before.

“Thanks,” you say, your voice monotonous, and you mentally give yourself a pat on the shoulder for not giving away your current inner turmoil of emotions. 

“Your dress…” Taeyang starts speaking again, without taking his eyes off you. “I think it looks good on you.”

“O-oh… thank you,” you answer, this time without being able to avoid stumbling over your words. “Keeho helped me pick it out.”

“I see…” You’re not sure if your eyes are tricking you when you see his pupils growing darker by one shade before he turns away, and it’s not like you have any way of confirming it. So you try to push that hunch away, but with how you find yourself trembling ever so slightly, there is no way you can deny the overload of feelings he sparks within you.

“Let’s go back up,” he says, and you’re thankful for your release from this prison of a situation finally coming into sight.

“Yeah,” you answer. Without exchanging another word, you both return to the first floor, and you put the boxes into the living room, just like Keeho asked. Speaking of him, you leave Taeyang within a second to go look for your friend, and you eventually find him outside, chatting with some guys you’ve never really talked to. Still, you approach him, and once you wrap your hand around his arm with a strong grip, he winces in surprise and calls out your name.

“Whoa!” he exclaims as soon as he discovers your angry expression. “What did I do???”

“You know exactly what you did.”

“Ohhh… about Taeyang? Sorry, I got caught up here, so I asked him to help you instead, haha!” By the tone of his voice alone you can tell that was nothing but a white lie, but you can’t exactly scold him for trying to set you up in front of some people you don’t even know, so you just glare at him some more and then decide to leave for now.

“Hmpf…” You turn on your heels and walk right over to the bar. Even when Keeho tries to stop you by calling out to you, you don’t pay him another look.

You’re not sure how much time you spend by yourself just taste-testing yourself through all kinds of bottles you find in Keeho’s kitchen, you just know that once he calls everyone to gather in the living room for playing some games the sun has fully set and you are significantly more drunk than you were before. Still, you refuse to partake in any of the games and instead join the people who decided to just watch. Taeyang as well seems to have made that same decision, as you find him leaning against a wall across the room with a cup in his hand, sparing the people playing a look or two every once in a while. But mostly his eyes are glued to you, and at this point he too seems drunk enough not to make a secret out of how much he really likes the sight of you in that dress. You would’ve usually gotten uncomfortable if someone kept staring you down this obviously, but somehow in this one case you like the way he’s fallen for your looks. It makes you feel a little more powerful in your situation, and also like maybe you do have a chance with him after all. But again, this is nothing you would ever admit out loud. 

At some point he disappears behind the people standing next to him, heading off to god knows where. It is that moment in which your eyes lose sight of him, that you feel like something’s been torn away from you - something much more significant than just the sight of a handsome guy. Still, you shake your head in an attempt to rid yourself of such emotions, and in your mind you can hear drunk you and sober you fighting over whether you should give in to your feelings or not. And then, without having reached a conclusion, you suddenly hear him calling out your name, his voice resounding close to your ear. You whirl around in surprise, and at the same time you can feel a tingly sensation rushing through your whole body. The way your name sounds spoken in his voice keeps ringing in your ears, while you try to talk to him like you would normally talk to your friends.

“You surprised me…”

“Sorry,” he grins at you. You find a playful spark in his eyes, as if he startled you on purpose, and when he lifts his right hand to show you the item he’s holding in it, you tear your gaze away from those dark brown pupils. 

“Alcohol?” you question once you realize he’s holding a fancy looking bottle.

“Sparkling wine or something… I found it in Keeho’s kitchen,” Taeyang explains and he shoots the host a look. “We’re allowed to take this, right?” You’re not sure if the answer to that is yes or no, but what you do know is that your childhood friend wouldn’t be mad if you were the one who took it. Considering if you should just take the blame in Taeyang’s stead, you respond,

“Sure…?”

“Let’s go upstairs with this, then,” Taeyang suggests. “I know something more fun to do than watching some drunk people play twister.” Assuming he wants to get even more drunk with you, you hesitate. The thought of just the two of you being in a room together alone makes you shiver - and not only in anticipation. However, while you’re still trying to figure out what to say to him, Taeyang already wraps his free hand around your wrist and pulls you along with him, out of the noisy living room. 

“It gives you a headache, doesn’t it?” he remarks as he’s leading you towards the staircase.

“Yeah, the noise is terrible,” you say. You can’t make out his expression after that, as he’s walking a bit in front of you, but with how he doesn’t respond anymore, you feel like maybe the noise was not what he meant.

“Here we are,” he says eventually, opening one of the doors on the second floor.

“That’s Keeho’s room,” you explain.

“So?” Taeyang answers. “What better place to enjoy a secret drink than the host’s room?” You can only let out a short laugh, before you follow him inside and you sit down at the foot of Keeho’s bed. The guy who dragged you here closes the door and then walks over to you, about to open the bottle in his hands.

“Wait - what if it overflows?” you warn him, and Taeyang stares at you for a long moment, probably considering the possible consequences of that. Then he returns his attention to the bottle, and opens it anyway. You’re about to scold him, but when the only thing coming out of it after removing the cap is some smoke, the tension leaves your body. You would’ve usually yelled at him for this anyway, but drunk you doesn’t see the point of wasting your energy on that when nothing bad happened in the end. 

“Oh, but… we forgot the cups,” Taeyang remarks, and you shrug before taking the bottle away from him.

“Whatever,” you mumble and you take a sip of the wine. It has a slightly sweet flavour, suiting your taste perfectly, and you enjoy the feeling of the fizzy liquid filling your mouth and the sparkles dancing on your tongue. “This is good,” you eventually say, giving the bottle a fond look before Taeyang takes it back. You’re about to complain when he brings the opening to his mouth, his lips touching the glass just where yours were mere moments ago, but your attention is drawn to his throat as he takes a sip and you can see his adam’s apple move as he swallows the alcoholic liquid. 

“Wh-what are you doing?” you question. 

“What do you mean, what am I doing? What does it look like I’m doing?” Taeyang answers and shoots you a questioning look.

“I mean-… both of us drinking from the same bottle?”

“Oh, you want the wine all to yourself?” he assumes and takes another sip of it. However, before you can deny his guess, he’s already lowering himself and you feel his lips being pressed against yours. He puts his hand behind your neck and as he parts your lips with his tongue, he tilts your head back a bit, so he can pass on the alcohol from his mouth to yours. You swallow it without thinking, and then you meet his tongue with yours, kissing him back while the aftertaste of the wine still lingers. Only when you part do you realize what just happened, and you turn away from him somewhat awkwardly. Taeyang doesn’t say anything. He merely straightens his back and then takes a few steps away from you, while drinking some more of the wine. Unsure how to react now, you merely bite your lower lip and let your gaze drop to the bedsheets underneath you. You remember once again how he called out your name, and mixed with the lingering feelings that the kiss left you with, it’s getting harder and harder for you to deny your attraction towards him.

“You know,” Taeyang eventually breaks the silence. “The way you’re always glued to Keeho… it pisses me off.”

“Huh?” you turn your head to find him still standing a few steps away from you, but the gaze he meets your eyes with makes your skin crawl. 

“That guy is all over you all the time, it’s like he’s not leaving anyone else any space to even talk to you,” he explains, but the question mark above your head just grows. 

“He’s a friend,” you argue. Taeyang comes closer to you, leaving the bottle on Keeho’s nightstand. 

“I know,” he says, frustration reflecting in his voice. “I still don’t like it.”

“Are you… jealous of him?” you dare to ask, and you almost regret it when Taeyang throws you a sharp look in response.

“What if I am? Would you not be jealous if I always had another girl around me at all times?” His question hits something inside of you, something you didn’t know existed - or maybe it’s something of which you denied that it existed. You stand up abruptly and you open your mouth to say something back, but instead, Taeyang is faster again. He lets his gaze wander your body and his eyes narrow as he takes in the red color of the dress you’re wearing.

“And the fact that he was the one who told you to wear this dress… makes me want to rip it off.” You think your ears are tricking you for a second, until he makes eye contact with you, and the expression on his face tells you that there’s no way you misheard him. 

“Th-this shit was expensive!” you yell at him, as if you had completely missed the point of his words. He steps closer to you, and he extends his hands slowly, until they’re resting on your shoulders, his fingers barely grazing your skin and the fabric of the dress. He leans in so his mouth is right next to your ear.

“I’ll take it off carefully then…” he mutters barely audible, and you feel a shiver running down your spine. You’re unable to think of an answer to give him, so you decide to let your body do the talking, and when you lift your arms to rest your hands against his chest, you notice the exact moment he sucks in a deep breath and then holds it. You feel his gaze resting on you, and his eyes taking in the sight of you once more, before he lets one of his hands wander to your back in order to open the zip on your dress, all while never taking his gaze off of you. You know you’re in a position where he will notice every oh so tiny change of body language or expression from you - but for once, you’re more than okay with that. You’re not sure if it’s because of the alcohol or because it’s something that he did to make you suddenly feel much more comfortable around him, but you cannot think straight for long enough to come to a conclusion anyway, as he tilts your head upwards with his other hand and kisses you again. You fall into the rhythm of him moving his soft lips against yours immediately while all your thoughts disappear, and the way he hungrily slips his tongue past your lips again sends another shiver throughout your whole body. Feeling you reacting this strongly to him, his kiss only becomes more eager, and you’re starting to think that you weren’t the only one here who’s been harbouring secret feelings for the other for quite some time. 

When you part, he slides the dress off you - carefully, just like he promised - and when you now stand in front of him in only your underwear, he scans you from top to bottom again, and his lips slightly part at the sight. You feel a bit embarrassed by the way his stare won’t leave your exposed skin, so eventually you cup his face with your palms and pull him towards you, so you can kiss him again, forcing him to tear his gaze away from your body for at least a little while. Once he breaks the kiss, he pushes you backwards onto the bed, crawling on top of you. Your hands automatically find his arms to hold onto once he’s hovering above you, and you pull him closer to connect your lips once again. You keep kissing like this, tugging and tearing at clothes until eventually they’re scattered all over the floor, and only when you’re sitting in front of him, both of you completely naked, do you stop him in the middle of making out with you.

“Are you sure we can do this here?” you ask, breathless. You can barely finish your sentence, before Taeyang presses another kiss to the corner of your mouth.

“Why not?” he breathes.

“It’s Keeho’s bed after all…” you argue, and the guy in front of you cups your face with his hands, before letting his fingertips dance their way down your body, eventually resting them on your hips. You let out a shaky breath upon feeling his warm touch, and you shoot him another look, as if to remind him of your question.

“So what,” he simply states, before kissing you again, more intensely this time. Your hand finds its way up into his hair, and you pull him closer to keep him from breaking the kiss too soon. Still, once you’re forced to part for some air, you whisper,

“We can’t do this on his bed…”

“Do what?” Taeyang pries and you can’t believe he’s making you spell it out.

“Have sex,” you eventually say, and a satisfied glint shows in his pupils. Then, he uses his body weight to push your back into the sheets, and his lips find their way to your neck to trail kisses down to your collarbone. His hands reach yours, interlocking fingers, while his mouth wanders further south, kissing and nibbling on the skin on your breasts, and when you feel his hot tongue as a contrast to the chilly air around you on your nipple, a moan escapes you.

“You’re much more beautiful like this anyway,” he mutters, and adds under his breath, “You don’t need that stupid dress.” You moan again, finding yourself agreeing with him - that his attention is much better than Keeho’s approval for wearing a dress he likes on you. And so you squeeze his hands in yours, wiggling closer to the touch of his lips, and eventually Taeyang comes back up to share another passionate kiss with you, while one of his hands lets go of yours and he slips it between your legs. Another moan escapes your lips when you feel him dragging a finger up and down between your folds. He watches every single one of your reactions closely, but the way his intense stare won’t leave your face makes you feel the need to turn away from him, even if just for a second, and you find yourself conflicted about whether you want to show him the effect his touch has on you, or if you’d rather hide it. However, when he slips his finger inside you for a moment and another moan falls from your lips, you must realize that even if you want to, you won’t be able to hide anything from him. 

Your heavy breaths are getting quicker, and your torso rises and sinks, while Taeyang scatters kisses all over your chest. His fingers are pumping in and out of you at a steady pace now, and too soon his movements halt and he removes his hand from your core. A sense of deprivation overcomes you and you whine, but once you look down on his toned body, you can see the reason for his actions. 

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he whispers as he lets his eyes wander your figure once again, and he positions himself between your legs, before pushing into you. Fingers interlocking once again, he makes eye contact with you to check if you’re feeling comfortable, and when he can find nothing but lust and pleasure reflecting in your pupils, he starts rolling his hips into yours. 

Maybe he’s a little too eager about it again, but at the same time you wouldn’t want him to stop for anything in the world. He connects his lips to the skin on your throat again, except that this time, you can feel his teeth grazing your skin in between kisses as well. Your fingers clench around his hands more and more with each time he slips almost all the way out of you, only to reach just a little deeper with every time he slams his hips back against yours, and you’re sure that by now, there must be several marks of your nails on the backs of his hands. And at the same time you can hear his groans right next to your ear, causing you to leave yet a few more of those marks.

“Y/N,” his strained voice calls out to you, and you feel another rush of adrenaline overcoming your whole body from that alone. “Be mine.” The words hit you right where you would usually feel your emotions bubbling up whenever you even so much as look at Taeyang, except that this time you neither have the ability nor the will to hide it. And so, you can’t answer with anything but a moan, and his name falls from your lips multiple times as you feel your high approach. Only a few more thrusts of his, and you’re coming undone underneath him, with your mind filled with nothing but him, and the blissful feeling of cumming around his hard cock. With another groan, he too cums inside you, and you can feel him filling you up, before he collapses on top of you.

You stay like this for a while, waiting for both your minds to clear up from the emotions that came with your orgasms, and after a while of feeling his weight on your body, you realize that the effect of the alcohol has started to fade as well. Your mind begins to replay everything that just happened, and eventually you mutter, while still staring at the ceiling,

“I’ll be yours.” Taeyang props himself up on his elbows upon hearing your words, and he takes a long look at your face while he’s hovering above you. Then, as if he had finally processed the meaning behind your words, his expression softens and he leans in to press his lips gently against yours.

“Good,” he whispers, merely an inch above you, so you can feel his breath on your skin. “I’ll be yours too.”

[rootandrock]

There I was in a Circle doodling and note-taking in my "workbook" when I get The Vibe.

The Vibe is when one of the principle players in The Nocturnal Gatherings decides to nudge into my personal bubble. This nudge is, I think, another 'priest'. Certainly someone touched by Herself in a particular way, anyway. I am paraphrasing their words, because I get it as more of a "meaning" that my brain attempts to assign the best possible word choice to almost as fast as I get it. There's 'input lag', and a bias for sure, it's sometimes hard to convey the full spectrum of what I 'get'.

It is late, and my brain is half-asleep anyway, owed to a very loose border between the two states for me, so I lean a little more into "sleep" to tune in better.

"You're going to need to start writing the [grammar], and the [rites], and the methods for traversing the [badlands] to get to [the gathering place]." Says the Nudge.

Now, in this message I also get Jake Stratton-Kent's name, the word "Grimoire" (Which seems fairly self-evident... pick up their version of The True Grimoire, or maybe some of their other work) someone with a Swedish accent/low voice, saying "sigil", the image of beads being strung. A few more images like that, and those will take time to puzzle out.

"We'll assume I believe that this is genuine communication, and a genuinely communicated wish of the Whole of The Assembly and Herself. Then what is the meaning of doing those things?" I reply.

"You have heard most of the words, and found the right replacements when you couldn't. You found the right way - without losing the meaning - to leave behind the [parts that would cause genuine harm]. The [Ludo narrative, mytheme, mythic truth, 'dream logic', Magical Truth] is now good (as in "proper and useful" but also good as in "not harmful") enough to share."

As they say this I also get that their 'meaning' is intended to match how I describe my own 'traditional witch' as more of a literary tradition than a direct, physical, person-to-person, lineage due to the complications of spirit interactions just like this one. I also get flashes and bits of the things they're referencing that are harmful, and the mitigating factors I've employed.

So I take a second. I think hard about what I just picked up. "So, you're telling me y'all want me opening the way for more people...?"

"They will arrive either way. They sometimes come without being invited, and bring trouble [A flash of the visitor who got their head ripped off for rudeness]. Aren't you the [Image of a retriever gently offering a duck to a hunter]?"

"No, you know very well that if I am a dog I am far more the [Lurchers running down hogs, Border Collie directing a herd, Kangal soaked in blood]. Maybe I can show people how to shape and fashion the right keys, and prepare themselves the right way to gain entry into their version of the roads and ways? Maybe I can nip their heels to keep them walking in the right direction? And uh... keep the rabble out."

The Nudge is nodding slowly, but enthusiastically. "Even if they do not come to us, they go where they belong."

"Well, there's a tiny problem with that: You and I both know the writing would have to be a physically delivered medium, and the last four printing houses I talked to said no in the strongest possible terms with one of them threatening to send the prayer warriors... so..."

"[That sounds like a you problem.]" says The Nudge, and is gone.

Wow thanks.

[night-unfurls-its-splendour]

Hi! I was just wondering who's your favorite phantom actor?

Can be from any Poto play, or movie, or anything really.

I'm really curious!

This and similar questions have been popping up so much for me in the last week lol

I like to be extremely specific so I will give you a few of my favourites

I have been meaning to re-examine my favourites for a while now

So my favourite overall, my number one, my blorbo, the phantom closest to my heart is always going to be Gerard Butler. Say what you want about his singing, but ain't no other phantom ever done Pleading Eyes (tm) like that man.

For stage Phantoms the one who has a hold on my mind that just will not let go is Tim Martin Gleason. I love a tall phantom. I love that in the title song he does not order Christine to sing for him, he asks her. He conveys, with his intonation, that he asks for the honour of having her sing for him. I love how expressive he is. This man made so many choices.

Vocally I think the best singer that has ever played the phantom is John Owen Jones. But I think my favourite phantom Vocally is Tomas Ambt Kofod, because he--more than ANY other Phantom I have heard, sounds like Erik. His voice is remarkable in its smoothness and delicacy, but also very powerful.

He's also so sensual and gentle. He loves to administer loving touches and caresses to his Christine.

His final lair is also devastating

The Phantom actor I think I respect most is Ethan Freeman. This man has such a dedication to this character and to the book specifically. He refused to read Phantom by Susan Kay because he didn't want an apocryphal version of the character to influence his interpretation, which he specified modeled off of Leroux's Erik, adding touches pulled directly from the novel such as kissing (or almost kissing) the hem of Christine's robe during "Stranger Than You Dreamt It", as Erik kisses the hem of her dress in the book.

Seen here in the West End in 1995 with Jill Washington:

And here, in Essen, 11 years later with Anne Görner:

It seems that over time he evolved this moment to the point that he appears to abandon the thought before he brings it close to his lips--probably thinking he's not even worthy of touching her vestments.

He's got an almost faerie-goblin quality to his interpretation. Like he's just scuttled out of the Black Forest. He also leans into the idea of Erik-as-Magician

He's not afraid to be sensual either, though.

I think the most emotional phantom is Earl Carpenter. One of the first full boots I ever watched was Earl Carpenter with Rachel Barrel. His Music of the Night changed my brain chemistry forever. The gentleness! The vulnerability! The vacillation between confidence and fragility!!

The way he would jostle Christine a little when he caught her, his face a picture of panicked concern!

Though I think his interpretation of Erik as (for want of a better word) asexual is a little wacky (considering the text), it strangely works in favour of Erik's particular brand of sensuality, and it paired particularly well with Rachel's timid and apprehensive interpretation of Christine (which I generally dislike--here, though). And his singing has only improved with maturity. The raw emotion of his All I Ask of You (Rooftop Reprise) in his 2023 run is shattering. Absolutely shattering.

My favourite feral Phantom is without a doubt Scott Davies. If you ever want to see the most unhinged "Let these freaks be together" e/c show you've ever seen you have GOT to watch Scott Davies with Meredith Braun. Ethan Freeman's got the Goblin King energy and Anthony Crivello has the Sewer Gremlin vibe, but if you ever want a Phantom with a real primal streak, you can do no better than long-standing West End understudy Scott Davies:

This guy tackled the role with a ferocity and an audacity that you don't generally find outside of Russian productions.

His Phantom hands? Oh Lordy!

And the best part is that Meredith's Christine was picking up EVERYTHING he was laying down. Her Christine is just as mad, just as feral, just as unhinged. And especially paired with such a hearty goodfellow Raoul as Matthew Cammelle--Raoul would have done well to gtfo of there. He was NOT prepared to handle this lmao.

And then there's Ted Keegan. Who for me will always be the Phantom that got away. If I had just done a little more research before--just three months into my poto obsession--booking my tickets to see phantom before it closed on Broadway, I might have had the transcendent experience of seeing Ted Keegan live. As it was, I had no idea he was even still playing the phantom, and wound up with Ben Crawford instead.

And I would be remiss if I finished this list without naming Thomas James O'Leary. Like Ethan Freeman, O'Leary leans into Erik's ghostly persona, with a magician's touch. I think he took a lot of inspiration from Lon Chaney's Phantom (note the position of his hands here).

His "Sing for me~" is one of my all time favourite line readings and got a very embarrassing reaction out of me when I first heard it.

And then, as if that wasn't enough, there was the moan.

[a-tale-of-legends]

Hmmmm. You know I've always been subconsciously knew that Blue ( rival) had different sprites throughout the game, but I never really took the time to like. Analyze them? And truthfully there isn't much to analyze but I do find it interesting on how the sprites differ from the original rbgy games and FRLG.

So let's start with rbgy. Or rather rbg cause yellow has some slight difference despite its overall same pattern.

This is the sprite to represent Blue from the first 3 battles ( as in the one in the lab, the optional one in viridian city and the one in cerulean city right before nugget bridge). This pretty much captures Blue pretty well. This cocky kid who thinks he's better than you,lmao. Got his signature hand gesture too. This was during the early game, I would say. Where he does probably think " yeah there's no way Red would catch up with me, hur hur".

Then we reach the fourth sprite on the S.S. Anne

This sprite is the sprite that's used for the rest of the game until his champion battle. This one gives such a different vibe than the first one. He looks so much more focused compared to his other sprite. Like he's looking directly as the player this time, PokeBall out, in a semi hunched position getting ready. He doesn't even have a smirk on his face, which I find very interesting. There's many ways to interpret this really, one of which is a simple " the game is telling you your getting to the mid game now". For me personally, I think it reflects on how Blue starts seeing the player. I kinda see it where Blue is starting to realize that Red is catching up, so to speak. That he can't treat them entirely like a joke anymore. He's still gonna talk shit ( the best an 11 year old can anyway) but like. It's a thought at the back of his mind. Especially when he keeps losing, like Red is almost a threat to what he wants. It's also interesting to think about this with the context of " Red and Blue where childhood friends turned rivals". I mean. They were always rivals according to professor oak, but you get what I'm trying to say right? I think this is where the " competition" gets real to blue, and he's taking it as seriously as he can, now with the facade of him being this snarky jerk. Again, that's just my interpretation of it, I'm down to hear others!

And finally....

Champion Blue! This sprite technically makes blue the first champion to have a different outfit compared to their usual sprite, which I find cool. Also this is probably what they used for reference for his look on HGSS. Probably, I don't actually know. I do think it's kinda cute that this implies he went into the elite 4 looking his best hgvhvgvgvcg. Anyway, to the actual analysis. He did it! He became champion! Before Red,too. I know I just said it was cute that Blue had an outfit change for this moment but it still shows his very show boaty nature I think. He wants Red to know he won. He wants everyone to know he won. He worked hard to get where he is and by Arceus he is going to show for it. Here's my thing though. I can't tell if he's smirking or not. I don't think he is, to it's still kinda hard to say? To me anyway. But let's go with the fact that he's not smirking. And like yeah. He's champion. This is the ultimate battle that probably means everything to him and Red. He wants to be serious about this. I just find it interesting how ever since that 4th battle he hasn't had a visible smile or smirk. His words have always been very "Blue" but his facial expressions don't fully convey that? Like his body language doesn't exactly show someone who's overly cocky, and someone who thinks he's at the top of the world, even in his champion battle, with all of that swagger. I dunno if I can accurately write my thoughts down on this but. It's weird to have Blue not smirk. Does that make sense? And not to say that Blue shouldn't be seen as serious but to lose that smirk so quickly as of the 4th battle ( third if you just didn't do the optional battle) is so. Weird. Even if he is taking Red seriously, even if he is starting to see Red as a threat rather than a friend, where's his bravado?

Am I looking way too deeply into this? Yes. Am I done. Nope!

.....oh boy. This is gonna be a bit longer than I thought-

Pokemon Yellow pretty much had the same philosophy of rbg in Blue's sprites, showcasing different poses for different parts of the journey. Where it differs is the second sprite

The second sprite for the 4th (or 3rd) battle and onward his pretty much the same as rbg, expect more polished, I think. And! He's still smirking! As much as I loved over analyzing and theorizing the shit out of his previous sprites, this sprite is way better at conveying Blue as Blue I think. The position still makes it clear that Blue is taking Red more seriously, especially with the PokeBall out, but it doesn't feel as intense as the rbg ones did imo. Though that could also be bc of the coloring. Overall it just better shows Blue character. Again, I still like the shit I wrote before, and honestly it kinda makes me appreciate Blue more, but like. Yeah, this one shows his character better. And it makes this:

Less weird to me. Minus taking away his "champion outfit". How dare they honestly. But anyway, having Blue have his usual smirk throughout the game only to drop it once he has his final battle with Red for champion. Cause like to. To him this fight would literally mean everything. He has to keep it serious. I don't have much to really say other than this pose Blue is in looks like he's just about to throw that PokeBall. I think it's neat given how important this battle is to him.

Now we can finally go to the frlg sprites bc they're kinda weird to me.

This is his sprite for the first three battles. It's. So different compared to the rbgy ones. This this sprite looks more like the sprite that he would have had for his fourth fight. And what's more!

This is his sprite that's used for fourth battle onwards. And I was so confused about this when I saw it cause. What was it trying to convey? Yeah we know that Blue is cocky, but this feels. Odd character wise. Though then I realized that this sprite and the sprite before are like. Switched versions of the rbgy ones ( specifically yellow in terms of characterization). Though I don't want to make it seem likes it's an inherently bad thing. Like it's an odd choice to me, but I can kinda see something with it. With the rbgy sprites, to me, Blue goes from not fully taking the player seriously to realizing " oh shit, Red could beat me I can't have that" to the serious battle that makes or breaks everything. This progression in frlg is like. Starting out on equal terms, but as time goes on Blue just gets more and more cocky until the last moment where you take him off his high horse. At least sprite wise, that's what that story conveys. And honestly I think both are totally fine stories to tell with Blue. I personally like the rbgy sprites better. In terms of character telling I mean. Also I can't stress enough this is just my own interpretation of these sprites that honestly don't really impact the story much. I just found it interesting that Blue actually has different sprites at all at specific points in the plot. Oh wait before I forget

This is the sprite that Blue has for his champion battle. I think he's pointing at the player? Again it's such an interesting vibe in comparison to those before it, but overall it still showcases what it needs to in terms of what the player/Red/Green/Leaf should feel at this very moment. All or nothing, winner takes all, you get it.

Aaaaand yeah. The rbg section kinda stole the show but I think it's good context for the rest of it. I hope this was enjoyable to you all and if you have your own interpretations of Blue's sprites and what they mean, I'd like to hear them!

[archaiclumina]

⤹˚˖♬୭ Character Theme(s) - Oli ୭♬˖˚⤹

I got tagged in this meme the other day by the awesome ˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ @aethericfist ˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ (whose indecision I find very relatable! c': ) tsym for tagging me, I love to share tunes! c:

As a result, please enjoy a small selection of Oli vibes with a little explanation behind each! (I tried to pick tunes I haven't mentioned in other memes already!)

Vitriol - Bluejuice Maybe it's my Australian showing but Bluejuice slap. Also this song is peak Oli advice tbh. You can put yourself to use is a very Oliviede sentiment. So is fuck the world and what everybody's saying c':

Black Market Blood - Placebo If you've ever (kindly) listened to me ramble about the blorbettes a little bit, you'll already know that I've stamped out past lives for the two of them throughout Hydaelyn's history and Etheirys pre-sundering. If not, hey, now you know! Anyway, this song makes me thing very specifically of who Oliviede was during her previous life in the time of Amdapor, (her name was Lorea back then.) This song could almost be like a brief synopsis of how things went for her in those days. (Spoiler: they did not go well c': )

Bury Me Low - 8 Graves Behind all that staunch morality, Oliviede is actually quite cynical. Her "such is life" attitude verges toward total nihilism on quite a lot of topics. Mostly the only thing that keeps her from crossing the border is people can be nice, and it doesn't really matter if that's meaningless in the grand scheme of the universe, it's meaningful enough if it means something to her. But still, if you ask Oli, life is just a series of happy and unhappy accidents we don't actually have any control over. We just experience them as they come until eventually, for one reason or another, we stop experiencing. Oli thinks about that fact on the reg, and her reaction to that fundamental truth informs all of her decisions has been very formative in shaping her character.

I Need A Forest Fire - James Blake ft Bon Iver Another track that reminds me of Oliviede's past life as Lorea in Amdapor. I could ramble a bit about Lorea and her bad end and how that impacts Oliviede's personality in the current time line. But I won't because I'm shy, instead I'll just say the pleading nature and somewhat haunting melody of this song encapsulate Lorea very well. c':

Bloodflood - ∆ Alt J Truly this song has maximum Oli vibes for lots of reasons. Sure, it's true, every time a song mentions blood I low key go 'oh yay an Oli song' but also, in this specific case, I feel the way it conveys the out of body experience of high adrenaline and impending fisticuffs fits her very well seeing as she does sometimes suffer from a case of 'punch first and think later'.

I think it's really fun watching these tag memes evolve a little bit as they roll around the community!

Tagging my wonderful husband ㅤᵕ̈♡☁︎⋆｡˚ @reconditerune as well as all of these beans: @angelinecarax, @aislingsurrow, @chadhunkler, @eris-vito (for either of your blorbaes!), @luck-and-larceny and @hydaelyns-bitch ㅤᵕ̈♡☁︎⋆｡˚

Plus, tagging anyone else who wants to join in! ♡ Give me all the OC soundtracks plz! ♡

[notsoblackandwhite101]

PLEASE READ ALL

Hey there Puparoonies! With December fast approaching and a new 101 Dalmatian Street trending party set up for Jan 2- Jan 3, I figured I should make some ART! I've made an all new drawing grid just for Drawcember and made it vague so people can reuse it for whatever fandom they want! (A shout out back to me so I can see your art would be great if you do btw!)

HOW ITS GONNA WORK- I have made a grid of aesthetics that will be the theme of the piece. Basically I'll draw a characters in an outfit that matches the aesthetic provided. They will get a hat, a bag and a piece of jewellery and I'll try to make it match their personality if I can! (For example, if Dylan got the Space Aesthetic I'd go more sciency. For Dawkins, more sci-fi show. For Dolly, cool aliens!)

HOW DO WE PICK THE CHARACTERS TO AN AESTHETIC?! - I'll be holding polls to decide now that Tumblr can do that. We have an A team and a B team. So we'll be voting on two Aesthetics at a time. I'll post the Aesthetic and a description so you know what to expect.

WHAT ARE THE AESTHETICS?!

(Photos just grabbed off of google. All pictures here are not mine.)

Descriptions

(Please note that aesthetics can very from person to person on what they mean, and what they include!These are just my takes.)

Pastel- The pastel aesthetic is just as straightforward as its name, focusing on everything that's less saturated and in lighter hues. In particular, the word “pastel” refers to a soft and delicate shade of a color produced by adding more white.

Vaporwave- The Vaporwave aesthetic incorporates early Internet imagery, late 1990s web design, glitch art, and cyberpunk tropes, as well as anime, Greco-Roman statues, and 3D-rendered objects. VHS degradation is another common effect seen in vaporwave art.

Dark - Dark aesthetic covers a wide range of different things. If its dark and edgy , it can fall under this same system. Sometimes there's horror elements, but it can also be cutesy. All you really need is black, greys, and sparse uses of blood red and neon green. Some spikes can't hurt either!

Neon- The Neon aesthetic (Or Glowwave.) Is the use of bright, almost glowing colors on darker scenes. Reflective surfaces, sparkles and bright 'neon' pink can dominate this aesthetic.

Pastel Goth- Pastel Goth is an aesthetic that is a result of mixing goth or grunge with the sweet pastel elements of the kawaii aesthetic. Think if horror was cute, or cute was horrific if that's easier. Lots of black and pastel colours here.

Punk-Punk aesthetics determine the type of art punks enjoy, which typically has underground, iconoclastic, and satirical sensibilities. Punk can be as messy or minimalist as you want. It also tends to be more focused on the handmade, reused and recycled. Newspaper collages, safety pin, metal spikes, oh yeah!

Black and white- Contrast. That is the core of the Black and White aesthetic. Using only grayscale to convey detailed images. Tends to be fancy, simple and clean!

Rainbow- COLOUR, COLOUR, COLOUR! Rainbow is all colour all the time! With clear, fun shapes and fun splatters, rainbow is just... colourful fun.

Space- Spacecore is a type of aesthetic that is centered around astronomy, stars and planets. It can also be called astrocore or cosmic core. Spacecore uses lots of stars and planet type things in clothing or decor. Many spacecore aesthetics will have pictures of the sun, the moon or the stars.

Cottagecore- Cottagecore is an aesthetic that celebrates simple living, particularly in the countryside. It encourages a lifestyle rooted in traditional skills—like baking bread, gardening, and sewing your own clothes. Basically you live in a modern day Jeremiah Puddleduck book.

Pale- Palewave centers around muted and pale colors with a very relaxed and comfy vibe. Think light, easy, breezy and gentle designs. Nothing pops out right off the bat in this muted aesthetic.

Kidcore- Bright colours, cartoon designs, nostalgia, and fun! Its somewhat similar to rainbow, but you can't escape consumerism in this aesthetic usually! Toys, games, anything to do with just being a kid and enjoying life is included!

NOW WHAT?!

Now you vote in the polls! Just pick whichever character you want to see in the aesthetic listed. Please note that in order to draw this all in one month, I will be making the polls quick! The first one I'll have last a week, to help spread the word, but after that they will likely only last a day! That being said, each character will only be used ONCE. So once they're picked for an aesthetic, their off the voting board. Were you hoping a character would get a different one? Well don't worry! I may do this again, or you can try it yourself to! Just have fun!

Make sure to follow @bks-blogs for more 101 Dalmatian Street news and updates for the trending party!

[laniemae]

I would like to ask you about that fanganronpa that you brought up.

YES YES YES YES FINALLY I CAN RAMBLE ON ABOUT THIS OBSESSION I HAVE WITH MY FANGANRONPA!

(VERY long post I did not hold back at all here it’s the best thing ever when someone asks about your hyperfixiation)

Ok so basically what I’ve called it is “Danganronpa: Perfect Atrophy” and I actually made a logo for it but it’s still kinda WIP.

Perfect atrophy is a particularly interesting name I decided on with my project as atrophy means to waste away (esp of body tissue like muscle atrophy brain atrophy). And my main theme I’m going for with my project is “decay” basically how important hope and despair is in the canon games. I also have a sense of medical themes in my concept as stuff like that becomes very important and especially with the theme of decay, so atrophy was the perfect word (pun intended). “Perfect” in the title mainly came with my obsession with words that are described as perfect that really shouldn’t be (eg perfect nothing, a song by ghost and pals which I kinda associate with this project). And to describe atrophy as perfect is something that’s very odd and especially since something like that is more negative. And there really can’t be “perfect atrophy” or perfect decay in any way because it’s such a broad term. But in a way this contradiction perfectly encapsulates the theme of my project and even hints at the masterminds way of thinking, as obsessed with decay as junko is with despair.

Ok enough rambling about how much effort I put into the title I want to introduce my characters!

Kayo Minowa: Ultimate Graffiti Artist (protag)

Ritsuko Haruki: Ultimate Streamer

Tsubasa Rikona: Ultimate Philosopher

Phoebe Mwangi: Ultimate Pathologist

Kazuki Moriyama: Ultimate Arborist

Namida Kenzou: Ultimate Ice Skater

Hachirou Tatsuya: Ultimate Brewer

Kohaku Akanane: Ultimate Palaeontologist

Shiori Uchimura: Ultimate Architect

Mana Nozomi: Ultimate Organist

Shinsuke Abe: Ultimate Assistant

Keiko Kishou: Ultimate Taxidermist

Haruka Ume: Ultimate Florist

Hisako Kubo: Ultimate Archivist

Daichi Kitagawa: Ultimate Cartographer

Serena Connolly: Ultimate Netballer

I’ve thought about these characters wayyy to much and my personal favourites are probably Kayo, Mana and Phoebe. I’ve actually made concept designs for almost all of the characters and have made two full sprites which I’ll show here.

Kayo Minowa

Namida Kenzou (still kinda deciding on her design)

I’ve also made Bios for these two.

And here are my concept designs for the rest of the cast.

Thank you so much to u/bloodiedchocolate on Reddit for providing a base. Something like that has very helped me in brainstorming what a character’s design would look like and how it’d fit in the danganronpa style. I haven’t got time to design Shiori or Serena yet as there was a huge problem when I accidentally deleted my editing app along with all the files for everything I’ve done on my project but luckily I was able to save them as screenshots then my storage imploded, it’s a long story.

But these are the concept designs I have for the characters. Feedback would be appreciated as I’m planning on turning them all into sprites and I hope they convey their characters well enough. I would ramble about all of their personalities and stuff but that’d make this post way too long but if you want me to ramble about that just ask.

Now onto the setting as this is something I’ve thought about way too much. It’s basically an enclosed school like DR1 but I decided to put an interesting spin on it. With the themes of decay present in my concept I want the school to feel old and falling apart. And have a vibe similar to the backrooms and liminal spaces. Here are some pictures which basically sum up what it’s supposed to look like.

So basically the school has an eerie atmosphere of decay and rot which I feel like would be very interesting on the mind if everyone’s stuck here compared to a regular school. There’s also a really interesting idea I came up with where the architecture is plain weird. Originally born from me trying to create a map but my awful understanding of architecture turned into “hold on this is actually an amazing idea”. I’ve got a concept where the further you go up in floors the more surreal the architecture becomes. Empty corridors leading to nowhere. A labyrinth of hallways. Too much dead space to even be a real building. The more the story progresses the more surreal everything becomes. Here are pictures for what I can imagine to architecture to become

As the floors progress the structure becomes uncanny. It looks more like an entity with a vague idea of what human architecture is conjured this place up rather than someone actually building it. In essence the theme of perfect atrophy is “decay vs growth vs stagnation”. The decomposing and falling apart rooms are decay. The strange almost organic like growths of rooms and furniture are growth. The inhuman liminal spaces with a constant presence of dread are stagnation. It’s a mix of these themes that are at the very core of the story and ingrate itself in the themes of the characters and everything that happens. Decay, growth and stagnation make up the very core of reality and this cycle that encapsulates the universe. And yes I think I invented a new philosophy don’t mind me if I publish a book on this in the future from what is essentially danganronpa fanfiction LMAO.

But as well here’s a concept of what the bedrooms would look like, ft my awful understanding of perspective and how to draw anything that isn’t human.

Yeah imagine having to sleep in this every night for the rest of your life. At least with the canon danganronpa games the rooms are like luxury hotels and I’m torturing my characters with, this. Again this is inspired by liminal spaces and the theme of decay. As present with the dull colours of the wallpaper and carpet and the water stains everywhere.

There’s also this map I made of the first floor. Initially the presence of the surreal architecture as I bought up is hard to notice. But ironically enough I have an Ultimate Architect so he noticed the irregularities immediately and he becomes important when it comes to analysing these themes.

There’s also these concept maps for floors 2, 3 and 4 which are more sketchy and I didn’t flesh them out as much as I did with the first map. But here it’s easier to see how strange the layout becomes.

Now I want to talk about the aesthetic of the project as it’s something I’ve also thought about way too much. In a way I have multiple aesthetics, but I’ll skip over the decay themes as I already talked about that. I just show some images of my ideas as it’s kinda hard to explain what I’m going for.

These 5 images sum up exactly what the aesthetic im going for is. I want usage of harsh metal textures that appear to be ripped apart and broken with some sort of force. Mesh designs and torn metal is a huge part in this aesthetic and it looks very good mixed with a harsh red. There’s also a presence of more cyber esq themes building off that metallic feeling I mentioned and with a very grunge aesthetic mixed with bright colours. Actually thinking about it this aesthetic is quite similar to the main aesthetic that Milgram has and I started on this project before I learned about it so that’s probably why I was instantly hooked.

(ok editing this in here as I copy pasted this from my notes app but left out a chunk of text so I’ll rewrite it)

here’s also some of the UI I’ve been doing based on this aesthetic.

(ignore the god awful sample text I couldn’t did any saved images of this where I was not screwing around)

so this is basically the ui designs for the regular game and the trial. With the regular design I wanted to go with that metal grunge design and the usage of signposts is heavily inspired by the v3 title screen as it has a lot of those elements which I wish was utilised more in the game as it’s so cool. And I feel like this design encapsulates both the general feel of the protagonist and the story without being too overwhelming. Theres also the trial design, which goes for a more cyber design like what you’d see in sci fi movies. I want to give that feeling of intensity in the trial. Funnily enough the trial ui was the first real thing I designed for my fangan and I basically based everything off of that one design. Here’s also some other ui designs I’ve done.

I’ve got some basic concepts here, a character intro, a non stop debate ui, the counter and argue screen. But here’s one I find particularly interesting to talk about.

This is basically the end screen of the chapters where it shows how many surviving students there are. I put a spin on this having there be a class photo of all the students hanging out and stuff much like the one from dr1 I used. But their portraits get greyed out as they die. And as well as that the more the chapters progress the more decayed the photo gets. And eventually the rot spreads to that of the dead students removing them from the picture entirely. Here’s what it looks like at the beginning vs the end.

And you may be asking, what’s with the strange chapter names? I’ll list them here. P: Corneal opacity: the last of the glory days

C1: Pallor mortis: dawn in the graveyard

C2: Algor mortis: a wish in the wind

C3: Rigor mortis: arctic air outbreak

C4: Livor mortis: kneeling in a sea of blood

C5: Putrefacation: the tranquility of death

C6: Skeletonisation: final onslaught

E: Fossilisation: the show is over, applaud

BE: Extreme decomposition: Beautiful Decay

Basically all of these chapter names are the stages of decay post mortem. As once again decay is a crucial part of my story and especially with the big presence of death in danganronpa makes this perfect. Yknow how you look at an idea someone has and are like “omg this is the best idea ever I wish I had that idea”. I feel like this is exactly the type of thing I’d say about this but I actually came up with the idea and it feels so fiwhosbsoqnsm. There’s also the chapter names which are more similar to the canon chapter names which I also included.

Now I want to talk about key events in chapters and cases and stuff. One thing I’ve payed huge attention to is the motives which I’ve made a lot of. So here’s my current ideas for motives and cases.

I haven’t decided on a motive for chapter 1 yet, but an idea I had for the case is that the killer sent out a letter to someone claiming to invite someone with a meeting with a bunch of other people they claimed to send letters to to make it more trustworthy, but it was actually a murder trap with the letter only being sent to one person. There’s also a part in the daily life when someone makes themselves the self proclaimed leader, and is extremely worried about an idea of a murder so they implement rules such as “no going out at night”, but even more strict then canon examples, also having rules such as “you have to stay in groups of at least 3 all the time”.

In chapter 2 there’s a motive where the morning and night announcements stop and all the clocks stop working and people can no longer tell what time of day it is. This is interesting because after someone was murdered in chapter 1 the whole cast decided to form a union to stop that from ever happening again and banded up together and made plans on how to escape. They even found a phone which they tried setting up a mayday message to send for help. This union caused this motive to be implemented, as nobody being able to tell the time anymore would get rid of morning meetings and make everyone confused and disoriented. This broke apart the union that was created and although this doesn’t seem as much as a big motive the separation of the cast was a huge deal. And interestingly enough when someone was murdered, it took a whole day and a half to find the body as people didn’t really care about disappearances anymore as they assumed they were asleep, and the body was shoved in a locker. (Note, people would’ve noticed the smell but I want a case where the time of death is very important so I’m thinking of a way that could’ve masked this). And about the body being left out for a while, this would’ve caused it to decay into a bloating stage. Me being me, I wanted to research the stages of human decomposition to make this as accurate as possible. You can guess what I googled, you can guess that I clicked on images. I will not elaborate further.

Chapter 3 is probably my favorite so far. As there’s a motive where the temperature drops every day until someone kills and basically everyone’s freezing to death. And this was actually based off a dream I had. This basically launched everyone into survival mode as even more so over worrying about a murder people had to worry about dying from the cold. As the days went on characters became dizzy and disoriented from the cold and frostbite became way too common. Causing Phoebe, the pathologist, to overwork herself in treating everyone as she’s the only one with medical knowledge but as she’s more about knowing injuries and ailments rather than treating them it was very hard. There was an attempted murder in this chapter when Kayo, the protagonist was splashed with water that was mounted up on a door when it was freezing temperatures. It only hit her arm though and she and the other person was with freaked out so much as something like that was incredibly dangerous in such cold temperatures. There’s also a part where a few people tried to start a fire using chemicals since the lighters and matches didn’t work… which ended up blowing up and causing a massive fire ironically.

Chapter 4 I’m thinking about a motive similar to how in milgram the prisoners can order almost anything they want. So basically the characters are allowed to order one thing per day and get it delivered to them next morning, but maybe there’s a catch to it like maybe incorporating a secret motive as a drawback to ordering stuff as Kayo has a very dark secret which would be the end of her if it got out. This is also the chapter where the students relationships are at an all time low and there’s constant fighting and drama between everyone. And as well there’s also desperate need for medical attention as everyone’s getting injuries from the recovery from the cold (that motive turned out to be way more important to the story than I planned it to be oop).

Chapter 5 is where one of the characters is outed for their manipulative behaviour and how they’ve been pushing people to dark mental states for their own benefit. And there’s a motive where a random student is selected to be the “co-host” where they help with whatever the replacement is for monokuma in running the killing game. They’re still a participant and can kill or be killed but can add and remove rules, although not one’s relating to the kg itself. And you can guess who was chosen as the co host. This murders particularly interesting as the body was incinerated and the ashes scattered throughout the school so it was impossible to tell where the body is and how they died.

Chapter 6 is different from the canon chapter 6 as there’s actually a daily life. Where the characters managed to get in contact with another group of ultimates planning to save them and there’s a huge break in where they attempt to save the surviving students but everyone’s forced into lockdown and when they get out they find one of the rescuers murdered, and it seems clear the mastermind did it.

I want the end to be anticlimactic, if that makes sense. Not to end with a big victory like “we finally done it and we shall avenge everyone who’s died!” But instead the survivors just completely break down. Everything’s over, they won, but now what? So many people have died and you’re now free, but at what cost. And instead of everyone celebrating their victory it ends on them crying and suffering, as I feel like that’s a more realistic ending to have and would also encapsulate the weight of everything that happened

And that’s a short summary of my fangan at this point, and yes I mean short. There are some things I left out which I’ll probably talk about later but this is how much I’m obsessing over something I’ll likely never make a reality as I have absolutely no idea how to code and if I do make it I’ll be one of those people who swears to do it completely by themselves and if that does happen I feel like this post will come back to bite me as I kinda spoiled like half the story lmao

[delugguk]

eating from each other’s plates & either " you’re lucky that you’re cute. " or "nope, puppy dog eyes aren’t going to work this time! " 💜

request from this post

pair: jungkook x reader

what happens here?: they're in love and tbh this low-key gives me ITS!couple vibes lol :(

word count: 810

note: tagging @jkshandsomegirlfriend since you also requested this <3

"mm, what do you think about this?" jungkook asks when he's guiding his spoon towards your mouth as you automatically open up.

"oh? what is this?" delighted by the taste of it, your eyes widen at such exquisite flavor.

"something I recently saw on the internet and tried it out.." he shyly murmurs when you instantly state, "of course you did." in a playful tone, only chuckling afterwards.

"do you like it?"

"is that even a serious question? babe, this tastes so good." heart eyes into your eyes and that only makes jungkook's heart jump and his cheekies blush. you found him very endearing despite looking very much fine while cooking but what can you expect, that's how your boyfriend is. hot and amazing. not only in bed but in many other things too, like cooking. - when you open your mouth for him to give you some more, all you are met with is his very salty finger touching your tongue.

"hey!!"

"no-uh, you have to wait till I finish."

"It isn't done already?" swinging his head to its sides, he makes you pout in disappointment. "I want another taste.." when your eyes only glisten turning into those big and pleading puppy eyes but jungkook doesn't buy it as you've used this technique many times, he's almost insensitive about it. almost. It still got him sometimes, but just sometimes.

"nope, puppy dog eyes aren't going to work this time! " he utters once he takes care of some vegetables in front of him.

"that's not fair!" you tramped around him. "It tastes so good already..." fingers toying with the hem of his gigantic hoodie as you sulk.

with your current state, jungkook can't help but let out the nicest laugh you've ever heard. "don't worry babe, it will taste even better once it's finished."

oh, he loved to tease you.

"ugh, don't ever think about me giving you food once my order arrives."

yeah, you've ordered food just a few minutes ago when you thought neither of you were going to cook today, but since jungkook seemed to get creative into tasting his magnificent cooking skills - you don't even know why you said that because now, here you are sharing food with your beloved. if he ever thought of you being a clown, you swear you'll take it because you could never not resist your boyfriend's charms.

seating on the kitchen table, you give him a piece of your food once you had caught him glancing at it. you just know when he wants a piece of something and who are you to deny him from testing the marvellous tastes of the world?

"here," you guide a piece of food on his mouth and as soon as he makes a loud, almost comic-like "mmm!!!" sound followed by his eyebrows furrowing into an angry face, you know he absolutely adores it and that's when you mentally sigh, in defeat.

"okay... you can take it." you voice as you playfully roll your eyes.

"truly?" orbit eyes just taking a glance at the food and your face at the same time.

"truly." you repeat and he looks way too happy.

"don't get too excited though.. you're lucky that you're cute.." you murmur, "I'm only doing it 'cause you're cute.. so take it all if you want."

the big smirk that forms into his face it's not normal but since he's jungkook, of course he has to, "okay, thennn.. I'll exchange this for this," he conveys, giving you a piece of his own cooking. - everything without forgetting to feed you some first, of course. you close your eyes like that one scene in ratatouille once the familiar flavour meets your glorious taste buds and all jungkook does is endearingly smile at you when he cleans the corner of your lips for the mess he low-key made, very delicately.

"Is it that good, baby?" you nod and his smile only widens. "this is my exchange gift." showing you that pretty bunny smile of his.

and the moment he does, you respond with a yes followed by a big gasp that you can't help but make, and you don't know if it's because of him giving you this or him just looking so damn stunning right now even if his hair was messy. but of course you weren't going to tell him that. at least not today. he'll be an absolute demon if you told him today.

"thanks.." you shyly look away when he seems to not stop staring at you.

It only makes him match your energy once he notices his eyes being somehow glued into yours.

"of course," responding, he's already cutting another size when he says, "gotta make sure my pretty girl always gets what she wants." only pausing to end up murmuring with a smug grin, "even if whatever that is, it's me.."

[secretsnowclub]

TTRPG School: What is an RPG? Or, Defining a Quasi-Text

 This was written recently for the new edition of .dungeon, but I wanna share it with y’all.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cameron Burger (@camcamburger) coined the term “Quasi-lore” to talk about the worldbuilding of Minecraft. Quasi means “almost” or “resembling,” so, quasi-lore is not-quite-lore, just hints and clues that motivate an audience to come to their own conclusions about a fictional world. 

I want to go a step further and say that an RPG book is not a Text in the sense that it gives you the proper and complete instructions, rules, and information. An RPG book is, by design, a quasi-text, giving hints, clues, and advice about play that motivates the players to then produce play between each other.

I like to think of it this way because there is no way for an RPG book to hold every possible challenge, and every possible solution to every possible challenge. It can’t hold the answers to every possible question. It can’t account for every possible person who might want to play. And that is not a downside, it is a benefit.

Part of the beauty of role playing games is that there are no limits to the things that can happen. There is no computer with a set amount of power or a planned series of events with a predetermined solution to its contrived problems. It’s a collaborative effort in a way most other mediums aren’t, limited only by the people who are playing together at the time. 

A lot of words have been written about this. Crack open any RPG book and it will most definitely have a “what is an RPG” section. But the main thing this phenomenon has led me to believe, is that our language alone isn’t enough to convey or define the totality of collaborative storytelling or playing. And because of this, a very important part of an RPG cannot exist inside of a Text. It can only be created and sustained while playing.

A quasi-text doesn’t force people to see it or think of it a certain way. It’s quasi-nature allows it to be used to tell a million different stories, by allowing the players to discover or create connections between the incomplete ideas and rules presented by the text. You, the reader, or your fellow players, can peruse the book and use what’s there to think of new concepts that fit nicely inside the book’s themes, while still leaving enough, or even creating more, quasi-lore for everyone to build on.

This is what makes rpgs so collaborative. It’s in the limitations of language and definition. It’s in the limitations of the individual to cover all possible avenues. As a game designer, I can only ever hope to create a quasi-text that inspires people to Play. .dungeon is my attempt at that. There are rules and lore that this book cannot give you. There are things purposefully left open or nebulous, and not “because of vibes,” but because I simply cannot know. 

“Connection” is the biggest example and one I got a lot of questions about when people read the first edition of .dungeon. This book will not tell you how long a campaign of .dungeon should last, or how much Connection you should lose every session. Each group that sits down to play will have a unique experience with Connection . Some campaigns will end quickly, others will go for much, much longer. 

That is intended. 

You won’t know when you’ll get a “game over.” You can’t know what random encounter or boss battle will be your last. Which adventure you’ll go on last. You won’t know how many people you’ll meet, or who will be important to you in the end. The text of the book knows how to measure this and can tell you what happens when it’s gone. But what it can’t tell you is how it will happen or when. 

Your duty as an RPG player is to meet these unknowns with confidence, because your answer will be unique to you and the other players. It will be unique to this particular moment of your life. By design, there are no wrong answers between the gaps of a quasi-text. There are only your answers.

[my-misericordia]

Tbh this show isn't really one I'd usually watch because gmmtv generally does not do class very well errr more like when one is rich and the other is poor.

Regardless I like Chimon. I want him to succeed. I don't watch everything he's in but idk I just think he's neat lol

Perth I just love hehe How can I not love the guy whos played the only short top character in live action BL lol Maybe there's been another? if so I'd like to know! But we still need more! I'm Sooooooooo BORED of the height difference trope that is always the same. Like Short bottom? Tall top? groundbreaking….

Anyway just watched the first 2 eps and it's giving real boys over flowers vibes. Is this showing how ancient I am? totally lol Now that's not a knock on it because, well I don't really remember how most of the shows depicted it because I never really watched them since NONE of them have ever cast a girl that I've been like yeah That's Makino Tsukushi, but the manga reallyyy went there depicting how bad school hazing was. But there were still small moments of levity? Especially when the main girl would get the upper hand? Basically what's happening here!

Grandma?? ughh I Want to like her, but I'm so over the obligatory good rich person~ because you see they're not All monsters~!! Even tho your family is probably responsible for high costs of living since your son is a real estate mogul? But how sweet you fund 1 scholarship bleh

Why do I feel like the father is doing shady stuff and that's why he doesn't want his son to stand out? If Kang isn't special less eyes on his family all around…but I could be wrong. Idk I just read his reaction at the suggestion of his son becoming school president as like hell no, we already got enough eyes on us as it is. Or he just doesn't see his son as a worthy successor lol

I do like the 2 different depictions of people in poverty between the brothers. Some people are a bit more laid back like Saifah (almost like Tsukushis dad!! lol). What's a little luxury gonna do? Not like the money would've actually helped in the long run, etc. I do think that Sailom might be a bit too noble?? It's just there's no way someone in poverty would realistically risk losing their scholarship just for pride. This is pretty common in thai bls tho. Gets under my skin honestly lol the ''noble'' poor person. It's just such empty messaging to poor people bcz we know the rich got their money but WE have to be honest?? go away

Oh oh!!! Clothessss!!! This is what I was talking about when I was complaining about Be My Favorite! I didn't want krist to be covered in dirt and rags to convey he was poor but just to have clothes like how Sailom and his friends have! Clean but clearly faded from so many washes. Sailom's house is great too! It really conveys how they're living. I feel heard!!! lol

Anyway I'll keep watching and see how much I can take of the future bad depictions of lower class people lol Honestly these past 2 episodes weren't bad. I only had minor complaints about some of Sailoms decision.

[just-antithings]

sorry, i need to vent about the porn addiction thing a bit.

while i’m by no means anti-porn, i do think we need to encourage healthy engagement with it (which is honestly skewed towards a heavily anti-porn bias in american society, which is not healthy. you aren’t bad for looking at porn or finding it interesting/entertaining/arousing! and let me tell ya it hurts seeing people with perfectly normal porn habits thinking they’re porn addicts and thus horrible and going to hurt someone inevitably. the current views on porn and sexual content in america at least is unhealthy as all hell, and we have gotta change that.)

but i dated someone who definitely had a porn dependency, if we can use that term. he would bombard me with hentai and other assorted lewd stuff constantly, and got to the point that he wasn’t attracted to me anymore and lied about it or dodged the question. it really sucked. there were many other issues, but he was almost constantly looking at porn, to the point of neglecting everything else in his life, and refused to talk about his problems and called me crazy whenever i tried to express concern (i. e. are you depressed, anxious, do you need to talk, etc). there were a lot more issues than just the excess use of porn, but honestly it’s the easiest one to convey (it’s very difficult to sum up half a decade of abuse the same way as “he didn’t even want me to touch him because of it, and called me crazy when i asked if he was okay”). him making fun of me for all of this and publicly saying i was clearly hypersexual for wanting to be intimate with him is still a sore spot, honestly, and getting mad when i told him we needed to discuss the problem before it got worse still was a matter of huge frustration as well. no matter how i tried to express a concern, he’d deflect pretty hard. we were talking about maybe getting married before i broke things off, and i was ready to drop all of my dreams and wants for the future because he’d convinced me that was the best i could get.

again, i have zero issues with porn itself. so long as it’s all made by consenting adults, cool! hell, i make adult content myself— it’s something i enjoy, and people are willing to pay well for it too. but i feel we need a good term for when it becomes a replacement for other things in life resulting in neglect of those other things. while i agree addiction is the wrong term and has anti-porn roots (and i would also prefer to have a term that doesn’t blame the porn— or blames no one, ideally, as i said we have a highly unhealthy relationship with sex in america) i’m not sure what other terms would be. is dependency too close to addiction and/or still gives an anti-porn vibe?

like anything that brings pleasure to people healthy engagement is important, and that’s different for everyone. i just happened to be with a selfish person who used porn to the point of it detracting from his life and to the point of it killing my self-confidence.

if there’s a simple term for this already that would be rad. but whenever i see these arguments start i can’t help but think of myself and all the others who have had relationships wrecked by their partners preferring porn and masturbation over them. it’s kinda hard not to feel hurt in that scenario. is there a specific term for porn as a vehicle for abuse, maybe? or as a way to avoid being genuine with a partner? i suppose just selfishness, immaturity, and such are all terms to use, but in this scenario specifically i just want a term that isn’t anti-porn that can sum it up.

tl;dr, i’m in favor of porn and lewd content, i just wish there was a better term for people who use it to the point of distress and pain for partners and neglect of their own health, relationships, and spaces than one coined by anti-porn and evangelical groups.

i would love to be wrong on this and have some kind of thing pointed out that it was not in fact an addiction or dependency, it was xyz or abc or what have you. i don’t want to hang onto something like that when it’s not really what went on. it’s entirely possible i missed a ton of cues (god knows i still don’t know all of what he said that was lies and what was truthful) and he just didn’t want to admit to being asexual or something in that vein (if he thought it was a bad thing or something?? hell if i know, toxic masculinity is weird as fuck), but i don’t know anymore what to think. what are your thoughts? you can delete this if you don’t want to discuss it, and i don’t want to start a purity debate or anti-porn debate in your inboxes, either. i’m just… hoping that there’s a way to find nuance, because these kinds of things definitely happen. sorry for dumping all this in here. i just want to understand a bit better if anyone has knowledge i lack.

honestly it took me a long time to decide if i should send this or not, since i don’t want to cause a bunch of bullshit or to be disrespectful to anyone in this discussion. but i figure, too, people who are also in favor of nsfw stuff and against censorship would be best to ask do i don’t get a ton of bullshit about it? again, i apologize if this is all me overreacting or not seeing something obvious. i would love to be able to pinpoint something specific or have a simple way to sum up that aspect of the abuse. if i’m wrong i do politely ask for further reading or information so i can educate myself and learn. thank you for your time and again sorry for the lengthy message!

Porn addiction (as it's used nowadays) is actually a subset of sex addiction, and you have a sex addiction when it... starts causing the problems any addiction in your life causes. It is not the amount you consume - its how consuming it at all affects your life. Like even your ex, it wasn't that he was engaging in porn and liked porn, it's that it caused what sounds like numerous interpersonal problems, which is why it wasn't a healthy engagement.

Because healthy engagement is very subjective? Like I read. A lot of porn. I look at an insane amount of drawn porn because I'm Hella hypersexual and it's Soothing to consume the porn. But the amount of porn I consume isn't negatively impacting my life or relationships. I'm only not in my slut era and having random hookups because of covid and pregnancy risk (don't suggest I just fuck people without dicks that doesn't solve the covid issue yall, also i like dick) but I have like. Real Actual Problems from being hypersexual that looking at porn helps me with.

A lot of people equate porn addiction with the amount consumed. Its not. It's about how it impacts you and your life so tbh? I'd call it CSB (compulsive sexual behavior) and start... looking into resources about helping addicts use safely. Those primarily deal with drug use, but I'm p sure you can find non-ableist resources about how to help the addicts in your life in general. I included the links I looked at while answering this as a starting point. Wikipedia is sourced and the places those pages pulled from might also be helpful.

What happened to you was super fucked up, but tbh based on my knowledge of addiction and even just a little research into CBS makes it sound like he had a real problem he was struggling with and handling badly. But what his issue was goes beyond just. The amount of porn he was looking at. It was how it seemed to have invaded other aspects of his life and had very negative impact.

(one, two, three)

[and-his-hands-were-24-crows]

Here's a thing I've been kicking around in my head for a couple of days. Not particularly well-organized, but fuck it... we'll do it live.

So, back in the pre-social-media days of online spaces, relative anonymity was a lot easier. It was also the default. We didn't put our real names on any of our accounts, personal branding wasn't particularly a thing, and everybody just kind of was whatever they wanted. We had chatrooms and message boards and we made friends with random people who we'd never meet and whose names we probably didn't know.

In the latest of the 90's and earliest of the 00's, I was pretty active on some message boards as a member and later as a moderator. And, while I'm not sure I recognized it for what it was at the time, I was goddamn elated every time somebody "incorrectly" assumed my gender. I got to be in this space where I interacted with people on a daily basis who would read me the way that I sounded online, and usually that way was something other than how I was read in person.

I miss this.

I'm thinking about it because being on this site--and I've only been here a handful of months--is probably the closest to that vibe that I've experienced in quite a long time. At the same time, I've found that now that it's generally fine to talk openly about gender and one's relationship to it (because when I was growing up we didn't have the language, nor did we have much security in talking about it outside of close social groups), it's difficult to convey the nuance of that relationship without, at some point, in some way, saying how I was assigned in the first place.

I don't know that this is an inherent negative, but it strikes me as almost paradoxical that in being able to be open about how I feel about my gender and my presentation and how great it feels when people are "wrong" (and "wrong" here is probably an artifact of old thought patterns that are no longer beneficial or applicable), I lose some of what the older variant of online anonymity gave me. I like being able to talk about it and find people who get it, and I also miss just existing and letting the perception be whatever it was. People usually felt right about me. It was validating in a way that's different from this.

I hope you enjoyed this zero-structure essay. This is about as well as I can articulate things right now. //vague hand gestures//