#drug addiction ment

[just-antithings]

sorry, i need to vent about the porn addiction thing a bit.

while i’m by no means anti-porn, i do think we need to encourage healthy engagement with it (which is honestly skewed towards a heavily anti-porn bias in american society, which is not healthy. you aren’t bad for looking at porn or finding it interesting/entertaining/arousing! and let me tell ya it hurts seeing people with perfectly normal porn habits thinking they’re porn addicts and thus horrible and going to hurt someone inevitably. the current views on porn and sexual content in america at least is unhealthy as all hell, and we have gotta change that.)

but i dated someone who definitely had a porn dependency, if we can use that term. he would bombard me with hentai and other assorted lewd stuff constantly, and got to the point that he wasn’t attracted to me anymore and lied about it or dodged the question. it really sucked. there were many other issues, but he was almost constantly looking at porn, to the point of neglecting everything else in his life, and refused to talk about his problems and called me crazy whenever i tried to express concern (i. e. are you depressed, anxious, do you need to talk, etc). there were a lot more issues than just the excess use of porn, but honestly it’s the easiest one to convey (it’s very difficult to sum up half a decade of abuse the same way as “he didn’t even want me to touch him because of it, and called me crazy when i asked if he was okay”). him making fun of me for all of this and publicly saying i was clearly hypersexual for wanting to be intimate with him is still a sore spot, honestly, and getting mad when i told him we needed to discuss the problem before it got worse still was a matter of huge frustration as well. no matter how i tried to express a concern, he’d deflect pretty hard. we were talking about maybe getting married before i broke things off, and i was ready to drop all of my dreams and wants for the future because he’d convinced me that was the best i could get.

again, i have zero issues with porn itself. so long as it’s all made by consenting adults, cool! hell, i make adult content myself— it’s something i enjoy, and people are willing to pay well for it too. but i feel we need a good term for when it becomes a replacement for other things in life resulting in neglect of those other things. while i agree addiction is the wrong term and has anti-porn roots (and i would also prefer to have a term that doesn’t blame the porn— or blames no one, ideally, as i said we have a highly unhealthy relationship with sex in america) i’m not sure what other terms would be. is dependency too close to addiction and/or still gives an anti-porn vibe?

like anything that brings pleasure to people healthy engagement is important, and that’s different for everyone. i just happened to be with a selfish person who used porn to the point of it detracting from his life and to the point of it killing my self-confidence.

if there’s a simple term for this already that would be rad. but whenever i see these arguments start i can’t help but think of myself and all the others who have had relationships wrecked by their partners preferring porn and masturbation over them. it’s kinda hard not to feel hurt in that scenario. is there a specific term for porn as a vehicle for abuse, maybe? or as a way to avoid being genuine with a partner? i suppose just selfishness, immaturity, and such are all terms to use, but in this scenario specifically i just want a term that isn’t anti-porn that can sum it up.

tl;dr, i’m in favor of porn and lewd content, i just wish there was a better term for people who use it to the point of distress and pain for partners and neglect of their own health, relationships, and spaces than one coined by anti-porn and evangelical groups.

i would love to be wrong on this and have some kind of thing pointed out that it was not in fact an addiction or dependency, it was xyz or abc or what have you. i don’t want to hang onto something like that when it’s not really what went on. it’s entirely possible i missed a ton of cues (god knows i still don’t know all of what he said that was lies and what was truthful) and he just didn’t want to admit to being asexual or something in that vein (if he thought it was a bad thing or something?? hell if i know, toxic masculinity is weird as fuck), but i don’t know anymore what to think. what are your thoughts? you can delete this if you don’t want to discuss it, and i don’t want to start a purity debate or anti-porn debate in your inboxes, either. i’m just… hoping that there’s a way to find nuance, because these kinds of things definitely happen. sorry for dumping all this in here. i just want to understand a bit better if anyone has knowledge i lack.

honestly it took me a long time to decide if i should send this or not, since i don’t want to cause a bunch of bullshit or to be disrespectful to anyone in this discussion. but i figure, too, people who are also in favor of nsfw stuff and against censorship would be best to ask do i don’t get a ton of bullshit about it? again, i apologize if this is all me overreacting or not seeing something obvious. i would love to be able to pinpoint something specific or have a simple way to sum up that aspect of the abuse. if i’m wrong i do politely ask for further reading or information so i can educate myself and learn. thank you for your time and again sorry for the lengthy message!

Porn addiction (as it's used nowadays) is actually a subset of sex addiction, and you have a sex addiction when it... starts causing the problems any addiction in your life causes. It is not the amount you consume - its how consuming it at all affects your life. Like even your ex, it wasn't that he was engaging in porn and liked porn, it's that it caused what sounds like numerous interpersonal problems, which is why it wasn't a healthy engagement.

Because healthy engagement is very subjective? Like I read. A lot of porn. I look at an insane amount of drawn porn because I'm Hella hypersexual and it's Soothing to consume the porn. But the amount of porn I consume isn't negatively impacting my life or relationships. I'm only not in my slut era and having random hookups because of covid and pregnancy risk (don't suggest I just fuck people without dicks that doesn't solve the covid issue yall, also i like dick) but I have like. Real Actual Problems from being hypersexual that looking at porn helps me with.

A lot of people equate porn addiction with the amount consumed. Its not. It's about how it impacts you and your life so tbh? I'd call it CSB (compulsive sexual behavior) and start... looking into resources about helping addicts use safely. Those primarily deal with drug use, but I'm p sure you can find non-ableist resources about how to help the addicts in your life in general. I included the links I looked at while answering this as a starting point. Wikipedia is sourced and the places those pages pulled from might also be helpful.

What happened to you was super fucked up, but tbh based on my knowledge of addiction and even just a little research into CBS makes it sound like he had a real problem he was struggling with and handling badly. But what his issue was goes beyond just. The amount of porn he was looking at. It was how it seemed to have invaded other aspects of his life and had very negative impact.

(one, two, three)

[missmisdemeanor]

ask and ye shall receive (asks)! do you have a favourite secret headcanon that you think the world isn't ready for

serious addiction problems dean my beloved. there's the painkillers angle, developed from hunting and swiping whatever he could find. then there's my personal favourite, numbing the pain of losing sam around stanford era just keeps escalating. almost crashing his car, binge drinking, nothing makes him feel alive anymore. nothing can make him forget what he's lost. he's alone away from john for an extended period of time, and he's got some cash from hustling pool, so he'll try something. fuck, he'll try anything.

[thecommunalfoolboy]

FUCK MAN I NEED TO START DOING DRUGS

[mourningroutine]

i'm back in the psychiatric hospital, i'm working in one of the rehab/withdrawal wards and i'm gonna be real with you guys..as a child of addicts? that shit is ROUGH.

[addictionisnojokehaha]

[lesbianrobin]

ok here is my thing with future eddie. fuck rockstar eddie being famous in a band he would become a fucking monster and have the world's biggest ego and probably develop a serious drug addiction and die young. fuck mechanic eddie that little gayboy would rather die than do such a butch job for an extended period of time and i fully believe that the Only thing he knows how to do to a car is hotwire it. teacher eddie? you people are batshit insane i'm sorry but that just would not happen. his ass is NOT going to college and he would not be capable of working within a system with such strict rules and guidelines without getting himself fired.

but fantasy writer eddie? that shit is precious. suits his skills and personality. maybe a bit more solitary and sedentary than he'd like but he'd do well and the thought of him inspiring other people with his art is lovely. we know that he's a storyteller, that he spends a lot of time planning, writing, and perfecting his campaigns and practicing his music, and he would be more than willing to put that time and effort into an original story. he has a strong personality that could translate into a distinct voice and lived experience that could lend authenticity and emotional depth to his works. he can gain some level of prestige, respect, and fame without the fanaticism and risks of life as a famous musician. in conclusion: fiction writer eddie >>>>>

p.s. i will also accept professional guitarist eddie but NOT if he's famous. he can be hired to play on tracks for solo artists or maybe write and sell songs for other people but he Cannot be in an actual band where he's a public figure and people know him. that is as far as i will concede.

[cepheusgalaxy]

How many money does Angel have?

Cws: sex mention, implied addiction, drug ment and abuse ment (you know who I'm talking about). Oh, and also a bit of blood in an image

Ok, so, after watching to "Use Me Up (Angel's Order)" (fan music by PARANOID DJ), I started thinking of something. In the song, Angel cites how he needs money and that's the only reason of why he's having sex with some people (I know it's not canon but I think that music has good characterization), and then I remembered how he also says he liked the Hotel at first because he could "crack there rent free".

He's also one of the only characters that ever mentions money. Charlie is Miss Princess of Hell so money is never something she's need to worry about, I suppose. Vaggie is under her wing, we don't know what's Alastor's or Niffty's deal, and we know what Husk does to his. But Angel, along with the Vees, seems to be one of the most worried about money.

We know he makes lots of money for Valentino (Val says so himself), and he is a famous pole dancer, performer, actor and sex worker. He obviously makes a lot of money. But then I noticed most of it probably doesn't go to him.

Usually, I'd think he's pretty well paid, but like. Why would he? He can't leave for a better salary, Valentino literally owns his soul, so no reason to incentive him to stay by paying him nicely. Also, Valentino benefits a lot from keeping Angel low on money: he already expressed how mad he was when Angel moved to the Hotel, so we can assume that it's because he wants Angel close to him. If Angel can't pay rent, he'll sleep anywhere Valentino gives him.

"Hey. Whatever means I can keep cracking here rent free. Crack is expensive."

"🎶Small talk don't pay the bills.🎶"

We all know he joined the Hotel at first not because he believed in Charlie's cause, but because he wanted a free room.

I used to think that was a bit silly, after all he's famous and must make lots of money, but the Hotel was literally his only option. That's why he agreed to stay out of trouble and clean for two weeks (or at least pretend to), just to get a room.

To get away from Valentino.

[mettleburdened]

I've been thinking, besides law being stuck with "vitiligo" in his corazon verse, that even if he no longer has the disease, he still gets phantom pains that on some days, most of which makes him feel like he's dying all over again.

which leads him to medicate with painkillers because there's nothing there that his fruit can fix, & undoubtedly he gets hooked on them. sometimes he'll even mix them with hard liquor or wine, depending on certain parties doffy holds or if he's offered anything during dinner or any time of the day, really.

as long as he can perform his duties, both him & doffy don't really "care" how fucked up he gets.

[lambslaughterslav]

I get high.

I get fucked up because if I don’t, I die: I either don’t exist or I don’t feel like I do. There’s no in between. I had a gf addicted to heroin- yeah. That really ugly stuff everyone looks down on. She got sober too, stopped shooting up and being owned by the dope. And she was clean. She saw what life was like without it, and decided that it wasn’t worth living and blew her fucking head off. Her brain was stuck to her bedroom wall.

Crazy right?

And I feel ugly and disgusting mourning her. Like she isn’t mine to pain over. I’m in an entirely different union. Have kids and a marriage and a life. Completely separate and created without her. And I still mourn. How unjustified of me. But she saw what this place was, and maybe had the right idea. I dare not say that aloud. No one accepts the truth in this wretched place. And no one knows what I have to do to stay alive. No one knows that….

I GET HIGH.

I do clear on occasion, coke when I can and it’s free, Xanax when I know it’s not looked down on, and I feel nonexistent. The way I long to be. No one cares enough to spot the difference, no one knows me enough to tell.

And I rot in this place. Utterly alone and euphoric and dead. As I long to be. I long to be like her. I long to be like them.

Today is 03/04.

My best friend’s birthday. She got her second bout of cancer and passed away in the fog of sickness, decaying and ill. And in a perverted way, I envy her. She doesn’t have to hurt. She doesn’t have to chase oblivion. She doesn’t have to carry the obligation of parenthood and marriage. She doesn’t have to know. She doesn’t have to worry about me or the fact;

That I get high.

I’m dying. I’m reaching them, chasing them, envying them. And no one knows. It’s my sexy little secret and I love it so. And one day it’ll take me. It’ll be the sickness that eats me alive like the cancer did her, and the black tar did the other. And I’m slowly reaching the heavens they acquired. And the best part is no one’s got a clue. No one knows that, me, I, her…..

I get high.

04MARCH2024

[cannibalgh0st]

*drugs mentioned tw*

PSA!!!!! ⚠️

Unpure ecstasy pills have been going around L.A. recently! E-pills can be laced with other unknown and dangerous fillers! Please be careful if you're in the L.A. area and trying to roll! It's not worth your life! At these times anyone is trying to make money and sell unpure pills!!!

BE CAREFUL. TELL YOUR FRIENDS. YOUR LIFE IS WORTH MORE THAN ROLLING.

[nebulariclover]

Btw, to add onto this, when I was a child and swore I'd never touch hard drugs because I knew what it does to people and what it has done to some of my family members, I ended up breaking that promise to myself. Damn near 2 decades of promising I would never ever touch shit like that and it crumbled because I was in constant pain, work was exhausting, my relationship and home life sucked, and overall I've had a shitty life and wanted a break. I promised I'd only do it the once bc I wanted to try it and I full on got addicted from one small dose. I kept craving how I felt to the point I went out of my way to look into getting some. Addictions are so easy and yet hard to fall into, especially depending on your situation. And I wish I could be open about this and talk about how it affected me, but I can't because I'll just be seen as a stupid fucking druggie from a long line of druggies who was too weak to fight their own impulses. But in reality, I wanted a break from my chronic pain, the hunger, the tiredness, and the sadness that had plagued my entire life, but especially the past few years. And that's not even the reason why I caved and tried it, I was offered and I was curious, those reasons drove me to do it again. My situation was so bad I needed an out. And yes, hindsight is 20/20 and I fucked it up worse, now having what I can only hope to be only semi-permanent damage to my body and losing a whole lot more in the process but I wasn't thinking about that. I was thinking about not hurting, not crying, not feeling the persistent dread I've felt since the moment I moved out of my mom's.

[americanphysco]

sorry I've been so inactive lately guys recently I developed a severe cocaine addiction which caused my heart rate to increase so much that my body began to vibrate until my molecules were moving faster than the speed of light itself and I became invisible so now the government and all of my loved ones think I'm missing :/

[raytorosaurus]

sorry if this is random but did something happen with James Dewees? I didn’t keep up with mcr tumblr in 2020 & 2021 and I feel like maybe I missed something?

okay apologies in advance because i'm not going to go and source everything i say here which i would usually do for this kind of thing and as a general word of warning u shouldn't rly trust people online spreading shit without sourcing it lol. but im pretty busy so here's what i know if you trust my word lol. i'd put it under a cut for those reasons and also for mentions of drug addiction but im on mobile so. cw for that.

so he's a very long time close friend of everyone in mcr, has toured with them since 03 in various bands and then joined as a touring member for parade and then as their official fifth member just a few months before the breakup when they were working on the paper kingdom. ray and frank also recorded with him on his solo music shortly after the breakup, and of course he was in death spells with frank. in....late 2019 i believe? some women (including single mothers) came forward on instagram with accusations against him, saying they'd met him at shows where he'd used his connection to frank/mcr to pursue relationships with them and then later asked them for money to record his album with, and then ghosted them and, they claimed, spent the money on drugs. apparently he was doing this with multiple women at once, but i can't remember how many or the exact timeline - again, sorry for not attaching sources with this, i can't even remember the instagram's name. these women posted screenshots of conversations where he'd lied to them about money etc. Around then he was also doing instagram lives for a while (iirc promoting a fundraiser for, again, money to record an album) where he was acting pretty erratic, and then screenshots emerged of him complaining about not having been invited to play at the my chem reunion show and that gerard had essentially ghosted him. he said he confronted...either frank or gerard about it, i can't remember which, and they told him they hadn't invited him back to tour with my chem on frank's advice. dewees also claimed not to have gotten any royalties from mcr and fake your death, which he was the primary songwriter of, which is kind of fucked up if true but these women said he had a habit of lying about things like that. really unfortunate messy situation all round and not really our business i don't think - to be clear, all of these women were adults, so we're not talking about mcr covering up a predator in their ranks. it's a real shame he took financial and emotional advantage of these women and i hope they've all been able to move on and recover, but i genuinely hope he's doing better now and getting the support he needs.

[jaytoons7]

TW: Contains mentions of drugs/drug addiction and a brief mention of a toxic family under the cut:

"I'd like to not feel anything for a few hours..."

This was inspired by @thesoulesscollection and one of Honey Kinsley's products. More specifically, Brain Freeze.

(This would happen before Jay joins the Toppat Clan. Scottie would be about 19, Which is why they look a little different here)

Scottie has a lot of emotional baggage, Due to their emotionally abusive family. Sure, Things got better once they joined the Toppat Clan, But Scottie still felt awful and didn't know why.

These feelings scared the shit out of them and the idea of telling someone about it scared them even more.

That's where Brain Freeze would come in (Although I'm unsure how Scottie would learn about it). Something that would make them unable to think, Something that would wipe Scottie's brain clean for a few hours, Something to help them forget.

Sure, Their body wouldn't function during that time, But that was just a minor setback for Scottie. They'd just take it after work hours while in their room, Nobody would even need to know.

After a while though, Somebody would figure out, Slice (Who Scottie grew to see as a father figure). One day, Scottie would forget to lock their door when Slice goes to check on them. He'd see Scottie in a semi comatose and understandably freak out.

Once Scottie recovers, They see the look of panic and worry on Slice's face and it gives them a bit of a wake up call. The two talk for a bit and Slice tells them that recovery from trauma isn't a linear path and that they don't have to go through these scary emotions by themselves (He speaks from experience).

But above all, Slice says that he doesn't want Scottie to lose themselves to something like this...

Scottie would stop taking Brain Freeze after that, But it's still something they deeply regret ever starting till this day.

(Seriously though, Don't do drugs)

[addictionisnojokehaha]

[becoach-a]

thinking hard on how beard had to detox in police custody after he was arrested