#so i yanno check out new followers

[beingatoaster]

"Why did you block me from following your fandom Tumblr?"

Because a) you put that you're a minor in your header or pinned post, and I don't like knowingly having minors follow me, and/or b) I am listed in your DNI in some capacity and I'd rather avoid potential discourse.

(And if your DNI says "adults don't interact," I am going to laugh at you before I block you.)

[salora-rainriver]

We're talking about Ads Again

Context for those followers of mine who weren't there: I made a post about tumblr ads being weird back in 2016 and it's literally still getting notes to this day. People responded GREAT to it. honestly, despite being like. ass old at this point and written by a literal high schooler, it's still pretty good! I thank my dad being in advertising helped significantly. I had an expert witness.

Tonight, I'm writing the sequel to that post. the sequel is this post.

let's just fucking dive into it or whatever.

why am I doing this?

okay for starters I made that post in goddamn 2016 and I refuse to believe my insights into the marketing world have not improved since then.

Also, the marketing world has CHANGED. Huge swaths of my old post are no longer relevant. What we saw with tumblr ads in 2016 was in some parts a passing fad, and in other parts the harbinger of a new wave of influencer marketing and corporate parasociality (I coined that term just now).

Honestly I've been thinking for a while that I should make an update post, but what with, yanno, adulthood, that's been kinda hard!

Well, I've missed a train, and it's Christmas, so I've finally found the time to do that.

What has Changed?

in my personal life... dad got fired! yeah it fucking sucks. the good news is he and his wife are working towards their retirement now, shifting away from the industry overall. Good news as far as life is concerned, but it does mean I no longer have as clean a connection to the Industry as I used to.

but more importantly, why he got fired. The fact is, dad's old! I know, shocker. More than just being old, though, his field (and my stepmom's field - they both did the same work) represents an older paradigm of advertisement. he did TV spots and posters, not ad reads for Raid Shadow Legends. He was great at his work, but we're in an era of data-driven, maximalist, google adsense, low-barrier-to-entry, super-fast and super-cheap digital advertisement.

Well, more specifically,

We're on the cusp of an extinction event poised to bring said era crashing to the ground.

Pictured: the current vibes in the ad world

Siberia is on Fire and Everything is Dying

So given that my typical source on stuff like this is currently unemployed, I decided to hit good ol google (well, google and duckduckgo. fitting given what we're talking about) to see if I could get any insights into what the current state of advertising is.

and the short of it is that everyone says the end is nigh. check this out:

Digital is dead, and so is TV. God fucking damn. BY THE WAY, I loved these two articles. Chris Gadek, a man I only learned about today, is clearly an excellent writer and his professional insights are probably gonna be way better than my amateur synthesis of the half-dozen different articles I read today, including his.

blatant shilling for random article writers aside, let's get on to my half-baked synthesis, starting with:

What Set Siberia on Fire

In small part, it's the same issues facing most major companies and industries in our late capitalist world: Hubris.

As this New York Times article points out, we've got a low barrier of entry into a gargantuan industry that's increasingly pumping out slop to follow a strategy of 'more is more'. And we've all seen the bizarre mobile game ads and shady scams that have resulted from THAT.

On top of that, we've also got the fucking digital privacy issue shaking up the entire world as consumers increasingly don't like being spied on (imagine that), and the EU starts rolling out heavy restrictions on the data harvesting that was fueling a bunch of this advertisement bubble.

There's also the ad fraud. Oh, you didn't hear about that? Well, it's nothing much, just that lots of bots are clicking ads to falsify click metrics, artificially inflating the effectiveness of said ads. look, it even has a wikipedia article

oh and Facebook did it. Facebook did ad fraud. :)

and I'm not even getting into everything that works to shake up or demolish basically every advertisement channel out there - the decline of cable tv and print newspapers, the increasing use of ad blockers, the crisis of consumer trust, etc etc.

In short we are looking at a multitude of micro-crises all working together to make the environment unlivable for most current forms of advertisement.

in other words: an extinction event!

Who's Gonna Survive

And just like in a real extinction event, whether or not you survive depends on how good you can adapt to the brave new world you've found yourself in. Old school advertising needs to drastically rethink their everything if they're gonna stay afloat, and every field of the industry needs to recreate itself. As my new favorite writer Chris Gadek says,

"These crises show that there are no safe havens. You can’t substitute one advertising medium for another. Rather than pivot, the advertising industry must adapt and learn to effectively use the channels at their disposal (TV included), factoring in the seismic societal and technological changes that have occurred over the past decade and beyond."

and what is that going to look like? what's going to be the new face of advertising?

The field seems torn, at first... but also aligned, at least when it comes to the core principles:

privacy is a big issue. Seems like a lot of advertisers are seeing an end to wanton consumer surveillance, and looking into less invasive ways to gather important and meaningful data

companies that rely on selling ad space and propping up their engagement metrics are going to be relied on less, probably, because the metrics themselves are being seen as less reliable (for good freaking reason)

regaining consumer trust is going to be a massive priority in the future.

overall, we're probably going to look at a massive downturn in ads, as people turn to a quality-over-quantity strategy in an attempt to stop flooding the attention marketplace.

that's the gist I'm getting from reading oh so many different articles of varying quality from so many different sources.

So, yanno, there may be some hope out there. If smart people start leading this industry (lol), we may get to actually enjoy ads.

Yeah. Enjoy ads.

Unironically.

I know, it's crazy.

PS: if you start seeing affiliate links on mainstream TV ads, thank our lord of excellent business analysis Chris Gadek for calling it early. God, that's such a crazy left-field idea and I really want it to actually happen.

[kandisheek]

FIC REC WEEK 19 – FAN COMICS

The Ol' Switcharoo by tripperfunster

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: E Tags: Avengers Family, Body Swap, Humor

Summary: A comic about body-swap, walking in another person's shoes, and dicks. Not walking in their dicks, of course, but yanno, touching them and stuff.

Reasons why I love it: I don't usually rec incomplete works, but this one is so good, I just have to. The current last chapter ends on a really satisfying note anyway, even without the big finale, so it's not like it's a hardship. This comic is not only hilarious but hot as hell in parts, adorable in others, and has some really hard-hitting emotional moments too. In short, it's incredible, and if you haven't already, I highly suggest you read it!

A Good Thing by Askafroa, FestiveFerret

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: E Tags: Therapy, Pre-Serum Steve, A/B/O

Summary: Steve's life is built on routines: working as a therapist at the alpha care centre, helping alphas and omegas develop relationships, and taking care of his roommate, Bucky, and his prosthetic arm. Then things take an unexpected turn when the new alpha he has to help is none other than the famous Tony Stark: CEO, billionaire, and Iron Man.

Reasons why I love it: This one is also still ongoing, but it updates pretty regularly, so I want to invite you to follow along, because HOT DAMN the way I squeal whenever a new chapter is posted. The story is amazing, and the art style, goddamn, I could gush about it all day. It's sweet and touching and makes me really emotional in some parts, and I love it all more than I can say. Do yourself a favor and check this one out, because it's incredible!

[typingatlightspeed]

TF2 Fanfic - Comprender

Happening too close to Pyro on the field, Spy realizes why he's never been able to understand his muffled words before: he was expecting them to be in English, when Pyro's been speaking Spanish the whole time! Luckily, Spy's fluent, and suddenly Pyro's no longer isolated by a language barrier, finding a friend and connection on the lonely desert, growing deeper as the two secretive men learn more about one another.

Ao3 Link!

Based on a request/headcanon sent to me by @candygrahm, though I'll admit I went a bit off-script and leaned into the language aspect a bit more. I hope you'll forgive me, Grahm!

Warnings: Discussion of Pyro having psychosis re: Pyroland, but it's just sort of a fact of life for ya boy. I tried to be as respectful as I could in the portrayal, but if I stumbled in the attempt, let me know. I don't wanna be a dick by accident, yanno?

Also, apologies if the Spanish is wonky.

---------

Spy ducked through a doorway a bare moment before a rocket followed him through it, screaming across the room to slam into concrete and detonate, sending chunks of cement and shrapnel flying, peppering him with a light spray of pebbles. A failed gambit had left him with his ass hanging out in the wind and the enemy Soldier on his tail for his trouble. He drew his knife and waited, trying to steady his breaths in case the rowdy American had given chase, but when enough time passed that he was sure he was safe, he sighed and collapsed against the wall beside the door for a moment, letting his heart finally slow a bit.

The defense of Gravel Pit was not going well, the BLUs operating with ruthless efficiency that day. It was getting exhausting, constantly playing catch-up, and Spy was finding it trickier and trickier to get behind enemy lines in time to make a difference. Their Engineer was quick on moving up their teleporter and defending it, and he was having a hell of a time catching up to his nest, let alone making inroads to it. The whole lot of them were twitchy and hyper-skeptical of one another, spy-checking with unusual frequency. He idly wondered if their superiors had given them hell for getting sloppy, and they were now overcompensating.

Unfortunately, it was working.

A ruckus approached, the sound of voices and heavy bootfalls rushing from RED’s side. It was music to Spy’s ears. His team was finally pushing back, and he could make out the voices of Soldier and Scout calling orders to one another. Soldier would hold them down with rocket fire while Scout flanked and tried to catch eye of the enemy’s positions to report on-mic. The muffled voice of Pyro mumbled out something, and Soldier simply replied, “Pyro, you’re with me. I need airblast support.”

Pyro replied, sounding a bit grumpy at his words being ignored, but they continued on, regardless.

Spy couldn’t help making a face. He had no idea what Pyro had said; he never did. Nobody ever did, really. It was a known fact that nobody on the team tried to hide, so he could barely be justified in sounding so put-out at whatever he had said being ignored. That mask muffled everything he said so much that he was basically unintelligible.

All the same, it had to be frustrating, to be so alienated, your words impossible to parse by your own team, the men you lived and died fighting beside. Spy let out a little sigh at that thought. It was tragic, in its way, and he couldn’t help a pang of empathy in spite of himself.

A new battle plan began to take over Spy’s thoughts as he returned to focusing on his job. He would wait for Soldier, Pyro, and Scout’s distraction, and use the cover to slip past the lines under cloak. Now he just needed to wait for the chaos.

Explosions rang out along with Soldier’s telltale scream. There was that chaos, right on time.

Spy slapped the cloak button on his watch and practically dove out of the building in which he hid, racing across the field as fast as his feet would carry him. He skirted close to his team as he rounded a corner, but the sound of Pyro’s voice caught him blisteringly off-guard.

It was muffled as always, but for the first time, Spy understood what he was saying, ringing out as clear as it could from behind rubber and filters, "¡Que les den por el culo!"

Spy’s eyes went wide, his head snapping to the side to look, seeing Pyro cheering Soldier on as he erupted into the air off of a rocket jump and began to bombard the other team from above. One gloved hand pumped his fist in the air while the other hefted his flamethrower, laughter forcing its way through his mask in bloodthirsty glee. So distracted was the rogue that he didn’t see the piece of debris in his way until his foot caught it, and he went tumbling ass over teakettle into the dust, his watch shorting out. A blue laser dot flicked past his vision.

Spy awoke in respawn, the lights blinding him as he opened fresh eyes. He was alone, which spoke well for his teammates’ offensive, so he took a moment to compose himself. He lit a cigarette and took a drag, slowly leaving respawn as he mulled over what he’d just witnessed.

He’d heard it. It wasn’t plain as day; nothing could be when garbled through a gasmask. But he’d heard it. Pyro had yelled to Soldier to, “fuck their asses”. In Spanish. Realization dawned on Spy, and he wondered if the reason he’d never been able to parse what Pyro was saying was the simple fact that he’d been trying to decipher his muffled mumbles into English.

He suddenly felt deeply foolish. And deeply curious. He had to know for sure.

For the rest of the match, he kept an ear out for Pyro. They rarely crossed paths on the field, the gap between offense and support a large one, particularly for their specific specialties, but whenever he found himself passing by, Spy tried, regardless.

"¡Mierda!”

“¡Sos más feo que pisar mierda descalzo!”

“¡Me cago en to madre!”

Spy fought to keep himself down to mere snickers through the rest of the match, but it was after a failed push and the absolute botch of a sticky trap led himself, Pyro, and Demoman to awaken in respawn at the same time, followed by the arsonist grumbling at an already-leaving Demoman, “Tus padres deben ser hermanos ¿no?” that Spy finally broke.

He snorted in spite of himself, trying and failing to hold back the bark of a laugh that forced its way out of him. He doubled over, bracing himself on his thighs as he giggled, heaving out the giddy amusement that had been simmering in him for half the match. Pyro turned to him and stared through blank, black lenses.

“¿Lo has entendido?” Pyro asked, standing up straight, reeling away from Spy in shock.

“Claro que si,” Spy assured him, hefting out a last giggle and wiping his eyes, finally standing back up and composing himself.

“No sabía que hablabas español.”

Spy merely smirked in reply. “But now I know that you do.” With a nod and a smile, he strode out to rejoin the match, leaving Pyro standing there staring after him in surprised silence.

*

After the match, Pyro caught up with Spy in the hallway to their quarters, caging him in to stop him in his tracks. “How long have you understood me?” he asked, muffled Spanish through his mask sounding perhaps more breathless than usual.

“I am fluent, you know,” Spy dodged with a smirk, stopping to lean casually against the wall. He withdrew a cigarette from his case and snapped it shut, holding the unlit smoke between his fingers.

“That’s not an answer and you know it. How long have you understood me and not said a single fucking word?”

The words were simple, but the tone cut to the quick. How long have I thought I was alone? How long have you let me suffer, thinking I wasn’t understood by anyone? Why?

Spy shook his head and lit his cigarette, taking a long drag. He hated playing his hand, but the hurt in Pyro’s voice was unfair to allow to exist. He liked playing with people. He was a bastard. But he wasn’t a monster . “Truly? Since you told Soldier to fuck the BLU team’s asses earlier today.”

“What?”

“It paints me in a poor light. A spy who’s worked with a man for half a year and hadn’t sussed out what language he even spoke, but I hope you’ll forgive me for not too readily parsing that what was already deeply mangled by rubber and filters wasn’t the same language the rest of the team was using.”

“…so you were expecting English, so you never realized it wasn’t?”

“Shamefully,” Spy chuckled ruefully. “You understand English, though. That much is clear from how you react when the others talk.”

“Mostly, yes. But I don’t like to speak it. It’s…hard to put together my thoughts into words.”

“Understandable. I felt similarly about English when I learned it, as well. Too many synonyms that have very small differences in tone. And very little patience from English speakers for imprecision.”

“Yes! They jam three languages together, call it one, and get mad when you don’t know every little nuance like it’s obvious! Most of them don’t even know what most of their words mean! It’s shit!”

Spy chuckled at that, and Pyro laughed in turn, bouncing a little on the balls of his feet excitedly. “ But yes. You’re not so alone as you thought, though from the others’ dossiers, I fear I am the only other Spanish speaker here.”

“Engie knows a few words, but not enough to have a conversation. I can ask him basic things, like where, or when, and he can gesture and say numbers, but not much else. It works, but it’s not the same, you know? I know more English than he does Spanish, but not enough spoken to really hold a conversation with him, either. Not unless we’re writing things down.” Pyro looked down, regarding his own boots for a long moment. “I’m not exactly a strong reader regardless of language, though.”

“I’ll be sure not to bother becoming pen-pals, then,” Spy teased, earning him a half-hearted swat from Pyro in reply.

*

The rest of the work week had been an exercise in escalating attempts at cracking one another during combat. Pyro had pulled out all of the stops, making sure to try and clock when Spy was nearby before pulling out his best battlefield shit-talk, and Spy in reply had made it his mission to sneak past Pyro with a few choice jokes on his way to the front. They would laugh and compare jokes and kills off the field, chattering animatedly in the locker room and at dinner, leaving the rest of the team to stare in wonderment at the absolute change in both men. The sassy-if-incomprehensible arsonist and the snide, aloof rogue laughed and carried on like old friends.

One quiet evening, they found themselves in the rec room, Pyro staring blankly at the television through smoky lenses while Spy tried and failed to read a magazine.

“You say something?” Pyro asked, half-turning.

Spy shook his head. “No, but while I have your attention …what does it look like, to you?” he asked, finally setting his magazine down, curiosity too strong to keep pretending he was doing anything else.

“What does what look like?”

“The television. The battlefield. Life. What do you see when you look at me?”

Pyro seemed to deflate in his spot, seated on the floor with his legs crossed under himself. “You know about my psychosis.”

“Yes.”

“You pulled my dossier.”

Spy only tried a little bit to look scandalized. “I am a spy, after all.”

Pyro sighed. “I have hallucinations. Auditory and visual. What it tends to be and how severe depends on the situation. Day to day it’s mostly colours and perspective shifting sometimes. Fire always looks so beautiful, like colours melting up into the sky. Sometimes I’ll see birds where there aren’t any, which really sucks with Medic keeping doves in the base and all. Sometimes I’ll hear music in the distance, or think I hear someone say something when they didn’t.”

“Is that why you asked me if I said something? I’ve noticed you do that sometimes.”

“Yeah. When I’m alone sometimes I’ll see someone walk into the room and have to check if anyone actually did or not. Usually throw something. If it bounces off then they’re real.”

Spy nodded, pursing his lips. “I suppose it makes you predisposed to spy-checking.”

That earned a laugh, and Pyro fully turned from the television to look up at Spy. “Got me there.”

“What situations make it more severe, if it varies?”

“Work, usually. Anything where I’m stressed or overstimulated can kick it into high gear, which is why I keep the gas mask on outside work hours. Helps keep things from getting overwhelming when the guys are around, getting all rowdy . But when it gets stronger? Stuff changes. Everything gets brighter. Colours go pastel, and everything sparkles and shines. Screams sound like giggles. The BLUs look like babies, and fire like sparkles and colours. Blood and guts become gears and machinery and confetti. It’s…a lot.”

“Almost like your mind is trying to protect you from your own actions.”

“I don’t know if I’d read that far into it, but yeah, it’s almost disorienting. Landscape doesn’t change, though, and I can still do what I do once I parse out what everything is. I tend not to see things that aren’t there then, at least. Just, kind of like it lays over everything.”

“There is nothing to be done to control it?”

“Why try? I can do my job just fine, and have fun while I do it. I’m in control the whole time.” Pyro scoffed. “Not like it’s gonna turn me into some kind of axe murderer or something.”

Spy snorted a laugh at that. “Fair enough, I suppose. If you ever need something confirmed as real or not, I will be happy to assist.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

*

“ Happy father’s day!”

Pyro stood in the doorway of Spy’s quarters and held out a bottle of whiskey with a bow on it, tilting his head to the side in a masked approximation of cheerfulness.

Spy looked down at the bottle and back up to Pyro in horror. “What—”

“You’re not the only one who can pull dossiers,” Pyro teased, pushing the bottle into Spy’s hands, “ Papi.”

The rogue pursed his lips. What a little shit. “You little shit.”

Pyro couldn’t help a laugh at that. “Don’t worry, I’m sure you know a lot of it is redacted anyway. Still, it���s surprising! You strike me as the kind of man who’s careful with his liaisons.”

“Yes, well, it wasn’t a matter of being irresponsible when bedding femme fatales in exotic locales like spy novels would have you believe ,” Spy huffed, retreating back into his quarters to set the bottle down, the unspoken invitation to enter taken as Pyro slipped in behind him and closed the door. “Young love, I suppose. She was ravishing. I was foolish enough to think that I could settle down in spite of the life I’ve lead, that it wouldn’t catch up with me and force me to run away from what we were trying to build together. Not that I tried to fight for it, either. She deserved better, and my son…he was barely walking when I left. Hopefully he doesn’t remember me.”

“Dossier said he was born in ‘45. He’s Scout’s age; a whole-ass man by now.”

Spy swallowed hard, freezing a bit as he waited for Pyro to say anything else. He tried his best to school away any suggestion that he was panicking in his own head, that somehow the arsonist had extrapolated the truth from very incomplete information. When nothing else was said, he simply said, “Yes. And likely more than a man than I was when I left him.”

Pyro visibly deflated, his attempt at a bit of playfulness turning swiftly tragic. He approached Spy, laying a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “If he’s even half the man you are, he’s better than all of the rest of us.”

Spy smiled softly, turning and looking into the darkened lenses of his masked companion. “ You’re too kind.”

*

The scuffed, scratched, abused wooden floors of RED’s hallways were warm under Pyro’s bare feet, the heat of the desert that permeated the structure throughout the day never quite bleeding away from its interior in the cold of night. His soles slapped against the warped, uneven surface as he padded his way through the base, wandering aimlessly in frustration. Sleep was not only not coming easily, it wasn’t coming at all, and enough tossing and turning and staring at the ceiling in frustration, watching phantom shapes dance in the dark, had chased him from his bed in aggravation. So he paced the halls, looking for something, anything to distract him from sleep that would not come.

A crack of light arced across the floor, seeping out from under a door. Pyro’s eyes followed it to the door itself, and he realized he was standing in front of Spy’s smoking room. Finding it occupied wouldn’t normally be a surprise, save for the late hour. Tugging his mask down over his face, he tried the door. It was unlocked, so he slipped inside.

Spy lounged on his sofa, which he had pulled in front of his fireplace, watching the flames dance with an almost-empty rocks glass of whiskey in one hand, the end of a cigarette in his other. When the opposite end of the sofa sagged, he looked over to see Pyro settling in. His purple and pink unicorn-themed pajamas provided an interesting counterpoint to the gasmask he wore. Spy smiled a little, flicking the butt of his cigarette into the fireplace. “You can’t sleep either?”

“Yeah. Surprised to see you up this late.”

“I often am. Sleep and I are fickle lovers, sometimes enemies. Passing ships in the night.”

“You have insomnia?”

“Nightmares. And insomnia as a frequent result. So I comfort myself in what ways I can, in hopes that sleep comes peacefully for me in time.”

“Watching the fire is comforting.”

“Having company, doubly so.”

A comfortable silence fell between them as they stared into the warm glow of the fire. Yellows, oranges, reds, whites, and subtle blues danced before Spy, while a panoply of colours joined them to Pyro’s reckoning, enchanting them both with its lazy gyrations. Pyro tugged his legs up under himself, sitting cris-cross on the sofa, cozying into the plush cushions.

“Having company means a lot,” he said, speaking English for the first time that Spy had ever heard. His words were slow, halting, and felt unfamiliar in his mouth. But nonetheless, he’d used the language, and Spy’s smile grew wider.

Pyro had been alone, barely understood, isolated by a language barrier he thought insurmountable. And then Spy had changed it all in a moment.

“Being understood is what all humans want,” Spy replied warmly.

He was sure Pyro was beaming under his mask, the way his body language straightened up in excitement. “ That, and to have a good time,” he added, returning to words that were more comfortable for him.

Spy chuckled softly, he gaze turning back to the fire, “If I continue providing understanding, will you continue showing me such a good time?”

He heard a warm laugh, and shifting beside him. Pyro’s voice came unmuffled, “It’s a deal.”

Spy looked back to him in surprise, to his face illuminated by the fire, and felt his heart skip a beat. He wasn’t sure what he’d figured the man would look like, but he was entirely more handsome than he’d been prepared for.

Pyro noticed Spy staring and grinned. “Expected more burn scars, huh?”

Spy averted his eyes, grateful that his own mask hid the pinkness of his cheeks. “You’d be a terrible pyro if you were getting yourself burnt up all of the time,” he demurred.

Pyro hefted out a laugh. “It would be like if you were covered in knife wounds.”

“I’ll elect to keep my gloves on, then. More of my youth and the safety of my fingers than I like was spent on learning balisong tricks.” At Pyro’s answering laugh, he did give in a bit. “I will offer you this, however.” He set his drink down on the carpeted floor and took hold of his mask at the neckline. In a smooth motion, he tugged it free of his head, immediately sinking one hand into his hair and combing at it to try to fluff some body back into it.

Pyro turned his gaze fully from the fire, a blush racing across his face as he beheld Spy’s sharp nose, his salt-and-pepper hair, and the even paler patches of skin that didn’t see the sun of the battlefield. “Why would you ever cover such a nice face?”

“Well, when you’re this handsome, it tends to make you a lot of enemies.”

Pyro shifted his legs out from under himself and leaned into Spy’s personal space. “Just enemies?”

Spy didn’t need any words for a proper response; his reply was to meet Pyro in a kiss. Giddy laughter bubbled out of Pyro as he wrapped his arms around Spy and fairly tackled him onto the couch, kissing him back with delight. Winding his long arms around the smaller man, Spy spoke to him wordlessly, his skilled tongue finding yet more ways to ensure that Pyro understood exactly what he meant.

[teen-cups-au]

Teen Cups - Plot Notes Part 9

Beginning of the comic | Previous | Next

Cuphead is playing poker at the casino. He seems down.

The Devil: What’s wrong?

Cuphead: I better not think about it, I wanna stay focused…

The Devil: How about we take a break then?

They’re sitting at the bar. Henchman flies to give them a drink.

Henchman: Here you go!

Cuphead: Thanks dude.

Henchman: You’re welcome! Is something wrong? You look awful.

Cuphead: Well…

The Devil: Let us be Henchman! You got work to do!

He brings his attention back to Cuphead.

The Devil: So… What’s on your mind?

Cuphead: My brother… He’s getting worse… For some time now, he barely has the time to heal, and he’s getting sick again. And we…

He pinches his lips as a tear rolls on his cheek. The Devil pats his shoulder.

The Devil: Take your time, boy.

Cuphead takes a sip of his drink.

Cuphead: We saw in the news that most patients are getting sick more and more often, and they can end up being sick all the time… I’m pretty sure it’s what’s happening to him!

The Devil: Yeah… Must be hard seeing him suffering non-stop, huh?

Cuphead: I try to stay calm in front of him every time he has difficulties to breathe… But even when I manage, deep down I’m freaking out… Just hearing him cough makes me panic… And he doesn’t have any break currently… I’m so scared that something happens… I feel guilty for being here and risk that something happens to him while I’m not there-

The Devil: Hey, hey now… It’s totally normal that you take a break sometimes. You need to take care of yourself if you wanna take care of him.

Cuphead: But he needs more support than I do!

The Devil: *sigh*

Yanno, if it’s that bad, I’d be happy to do something.

Cuphead: Like what?

The Devil: Anything. My powers are endless. I can simply heal him.

Cuphead: Really?!

The Devil: Not for free tho, that’s the rule. But it won’t be hard for you to make up for it.

Cuphead: I’ll do anything! Tell me!

The Devil: Play poker. Win, and I’ll heal your brother. And since you’re my favorite customer- Heck, you’re a great friend of mine! I’ll also help you be in ideal shape again. Burn all that fat that’s ruining your charm for so long!

Cuphead: You…

*sob*

You are the best! But… What if I lose?

The Devil: It’ll just be money, as usual.

Cuphead: Deal!

The Devil: Great. You just need to sign this contract.

The Devil makes a contract appear, as well as a pen. Cuphead grabs it and signs it.

The Devil: Alright. Once you’ll feel better, let me know and we’ll start-

Cuphead: Now!

Cuphead gets up.

Cuphead is holding cards of an 8 and 9 of heart. He looks at the table showing cards of a 10, J and Q of heart, and two other 10. He’s keeping a neutral face.

Cuphead: *thinking* A straight flush… There’s no way anyone can beat me.

The readers can see his eyes through the glasses. They raise, as he checks on the Devil, who’s rubbing his cards with his thumb.

Cuphead: *thinking* He’s nervous. He’s doomed! I can’t believe it… Mug… You’ll be fine!

He puts new chips in the middle of the table.

Cuphead: I raise.

The Devil: Hmm… I follow.

He places his own chips.

Cuphead: *thinking* Alright, he probably has four of a kind. All your struggles are over, Mugman!

He puts his cards on the table happily.

Cuphead: Okay, I got a straight flush! Thank you so much for your help bud’! You can heal Mug right now, right?!

He gets up, leaning on the table, all excited. Chauncey lifts an eyebrow.

Chauncey Chantenay: Huh?

The Devil grins.

The Devil: Actually, I thank you!

He shows his own cards, revealing a royal flush. Cuphead’s smile instantly disappears. He sits back down.

Cuphead: What the fuck… It’s so rare, almost impossible!

The Devil: Almost, exactly. Too bad, you were so close, my friend! But fate decided that you and your brother now owe me your souls.

Cuphead changes colors (bad ending colors). He frowns in total confusion.

Cuphead: WHAT?!

Chauncey Chantenay: YOU OFFERED THE KID SUCH A DEAL?!

The Devil chuckles.

The Devil: You really should read before signing anything, Cuphead! Oh! And did I mention the bonus clause?

Cuphead: What… clause…?

The Devil: Your dear brother just got promoted to permanent illness. Until I get his soul after he passes away.

Cuphead: You… YOU LIED!!!

The Devil: Ya should have known better by dealing with me.

Cuphead: Mugman doesn’t even know about it, it’s so unfair!

The Devil: Again, I’m the Devil. What did you expect? However! You can free at least your brother from going to Hell when he’ll pass away by working for me your whole life long and in your afterlife. Or you can just sacrifice yourself to free your brother as soon as you do.

Cuphead: Wha… How can I be sure you’re not lying again?!

The Devil shrugs.

The Devil: You’re free to take the risk.

Cuphead stares at him in shock. He sighs.

Cuphead: Okay… I’ll work for you…

The Devil: Also, if I ever see you try to destroy the contract, I’ll kill you right away, and Mugman’s soul will be mine, whatever the circumstances.

Cuphead leaves the Casino. Chauncey Chantenay follows him to comfort him.

Chauncey Chantenay: Cuphead, wait!

Cuphead: Why did this happen… ?

Chauncey Chantenay: It happens...

Cuphead: But I thought I was smart enough to not get tricked like that !

Chauncey Chantenay: Remember what I told you. Mentalism isn’t 100 % accurate. It CAN help, but people aren’t robots programmed so that everyone always acts the same as we expect.

Cuphead: I’m way too naive… I can’t believe- I… I’m actually trash ! I thought I finally found something I nail in life, and I failed at that too !

Chauncey Chantenay: Don’t blame yourself. The Devil exists for way longer than us, he’s got a huge experience. It’s no wonder he tricks even the best ones.

Cuphead: What will happen now… ?

Chauncey Chantenay: I don’t know… If you need anything, I’m here, alright ? I owe you my support at least.

Cuphead: What do you mean ?

Chauncey Chantenay: Well I… I kinda encouraged you to play, by teaching you brain tricks.

Cuphead: You’re not the one who sold your bro’s soul to the Devil.

Chauncey Chantenay: Cuphead, you’re still too young to-

Cuphead: OH SHUT UP ! I’M WORSE THAN A KID, I GET IT !

He walks faster to go home alone.

[slutforsfender]

𝐬𝐢𝐱 - 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭, 𝐬𝐚𝐦 𝐟𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐀𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚

"A night out? In North Shields?" I question Phoebe.

"Aye, come on," She says, not thinking about what she is saying.

"Okay, Phoebe there are a few reasons behind my very definite no like the fact it's North Shields and the clubs are you know in the centre of Newcastle which we both definitely don't want to go to" I explain with a deadpan look and tone.

"I don't see your point. Pubs are the new night out" She backfires.

"What about the fact that we both know everyone here so anyone you went home with there would be consequences and most people we know our age are settling down" I state.

"I'll ignore the fact there was no we in going home with someone" She smirks.

"Also I really don't fancy going to a pub with a bunch of people crowding me and asking me why I'm back with the possibility of seeing Sam again because we both know he will also be out just for a canny night when we could just have one here," I say, walking over to lean against the kitchen counter.

"He's always in Low Lights and we just won't go there. Come on Bella, please" She practically begs with her hands, giving me puppy eyes.

"She's right yanno. That lad doesn't go anywhere but the Low Lights" My granny pipes in, entering the kitchen.

"Yeah, but Gran the Chase is on tonight and we all love it," I say, trying to convince her with my pleading eyes.

"Arabella, I am not letting my beautiful twenty-eight granddaughter waste another night back home watching quiz programs with me and your old grump. You deserve another lad that is not fictional. Now lass go get up those bloody stairs and get ready" She says, grabbing my shoulders and pushing me towards the stairs while winking at Phoebe.

I sigh with a roll of my eyes as Phoebe follows me upstairs to begin our night.

We empty my whole wardrobe onto my bed to find suitable outfits for the night. Well, I say we, more Phoebe as I sit flicking through songs in playlists.

"Okay, I got the perfect outfits" She shrieks, throwing two outfits onto the bed.

We spend the next two hours doing hair and makeup, bringing it all together. I'm not even gonna lie we look drop-dead gorgeous right now.

"Night out in the toon" Phoebe shouts, making me laugh uncontrollably like an eighteen-year-old again causing chaos, as we walk downstairs she pulls me down to grab our things.

We link arms as we walk through the familiar streets. I was awaiting the whispers but nothing, the streets were empty. Everybody was having their night out.

Eventually, we reach one of the pubs and walk in meeting the smell of alcohol and loud music. I pause a second, weirdly shocked.

"What's up? Forgotten a Shields night out, London girl" Phoebe says in my ear, making me laugh.

"Take the girl out of Shields Pheebs," I say, walking over to the bar and asking for shots.

"Straight in with it"

"It's a night out after all"

We spend the majority of the night on the dance floor or at our table, talking away with copious amounts of alcohol. I felt like I was eighteen again with Phoebe, except I wasn't drinking away the pain. Well, a little over the same guy.

I hear a bunch of noise from a table near and pause in shock. There they all were. Him. His mates. Phoebe follows my eye direction and pauses herself.

"Shit, you alright?"

"Aye, I'll get us another drink"

I race up to the bar, grabbing onto the bar and breathing deeply. Fuck.

I order us both another pint and a few shots. But as the bartender passes me the drinks, I feel a hand on my shoulder.

Do not be him I silently beg.

I turn around slightly to see a brunette in front of me.

"Hi, I couldn't help but notice you and I just wanted to say you look incredible"

"Oh thank you," I say slightly blushing as I hand the bartender my money.

"No worries. You okay? You seem like you've seen a ghost" He asks, as I check on Phoebe, who herself had found a guy.

"Aye well, you could say that," I say, thinking to myself the ghost of my past maybe.

We get to talking a bit, and Noah, as I learned, seems really lovely. He's not from Shields, he's from centre Newcastle which is great.

"I can't lie, you look really pretty tonight," He says in a completely innocent tone with the most dangerous words.

"You look pretty today"

Here we go. Rapid heartbeat, no control over breathing, tears threatening.

I mutter a sorry and run out of the bar as quickly as I could, not even daring to look at Sam.

I race home, trying to breathe in the cold air. But it didn't work, it never does. Stupid words. Stupid boy.

As I walk onto a nearby street, I hear a voice behind me. A too-familiar voice. I speed up. Not now. Not ever. Please.

Soon enough he grabs my hand and spins me around to face him. Don't look in his eyes, Arabella. I did it. Just don't cry, don't show weakness.

"Are you okay? I saw you run out and I couldn't not come to check on you" He spurts out after a few seconds that felt like hours.

"I'm fine. Go home" I say, trying to remain stern.

"Did he hurt you? Try owt?" He asks as I become aware his hand is still touching mine. I pull it away.

"No Sam, it wasn't him"

I try to walk away but he doesn't let me.

"Arabella, you clearly aren't okay. Come to the beach with me, the different feelings and smells will calm you down remember" He asks, recalling my anxiety attacks.

This is so different and his fault but I agree. The walk there was tense, with so many unspoken words in the air. My trauma attack, felt at ease though around the person who caused them.

We sit on some rocks, watching the ocean sway back and forth. That beach smells hits my nose. The black sky causes a glow on the ripples. Picture perfect.

He had his hands in his pockets, his old nervous tell. His hair going everywhere cause of the wind. I couldn't help but smile, an old habit never dies.

"Why did you run out? Was it me?" He whispers into the air,

"It's always you" I whisper back.

The truth. Every attack, every cry, every song, every smile. It's him.

"Oh," He says, shocked.

Silence again.

"Why are you back?" He asks.

"Hadn't been home in a while and my family plus Pheebs wanted me back. You weren't meant to be here or I wasn't meant to see you" I say, shocked by the truth. Must be the alcohol.

"Your eyes"

I give him a confused glance.

"That's the thing that I see all the time like a reminder of my mistake," He says with a deep breath.

"I ran out because he called me pretty" Sam probably wouldn't understand but the only way to follow the truth is with another whether they understand or not.

"Why can't I let you go Rose?" Sam whispers into the air once again.

----

hi! been a while my loves. honestly I needed a break from life so I thought I'd use it wisely and write this. it might not be as good as my other stuff but I kinda wanted it to be messy because this whole Sam and Arabella thing is messy which is true to the reasoning behind this book. enjoy my loves.

[voidflower]

that one post got me thinking about pillow princess ed, a topic near and dear to my heart, and i typed the following directly into the chat box with my bestie. i now present it to you completely unedited becase i have to get ready for work but i need to share. SO. have a very scruffy fic idea.

im just thinkin. okay so blackbonnet havr been fuckin for a Bit but they still havent got all the kinks (heheh) worked out

and ed has settled ecstatically into fuckin with the first partner he's ever had who doesnt expect and demand him to do all the fuckin work and be scary about it while he's at it. he is Thriving. stede is insane and bossy and feral and ed sometimes thinks about it and only barely restrains himself from giggling in front of the crew.

wait. why is he holding back? can a man not giggle while thinking of his boyfriend railing him? he's fuckin blackbeard, fuck that! it's not like anyone on this crew would give him shit, anyway.

MEANWHILE. stede is Perishing. because he is convinced he is very very bad at sex because why else would ed be just... *laying* there!!

ed is clearly enjoying Just Laying There but stede cant see that cause he got Trauma

and all he can think of his mary at the conception of their children, tight lipped and absent in spirit if not body. it's not like stede had been really in the room either. and he'd tried to be gentle, to keep from hurting her, to not be... cruel about his husbandly obligations. and mary hadn't complained, just grimly acquiesced to the demand for bonnet heirs from their parents.

she'd just. lain there. every time she tried to participate (already not very often; he got the sense she had been rather ashamed of wanting to. er. participate at all) it had just made it exponentially harder for stede to. do his job, as it were. rather the opposite of harder, in fact.

so his traumabrain is Convinced (tm) that he's making no better of a showing at sodomy than he had at husbandry and ed is just being kind about his utter inadequacy in every regard and--

being stede, he is not one to let crippling self-doubt stop him from charging full-bore into the damn thing. no, he's one to let crippling self-doubt sabotage things he's already started in a fit of divine audacity.

he is NOT going to do that this time! he is learning! he is adapting! he actually verbally expresses his feelings on occasion! olu had asked if he was doing alright the other day while glancing at ed and stede hadn't even said no! he had, in fact, said, "oh, you know. the usual stressors in a new relationship. nothing that can't be mended!"

and olu had looked dubious but had said, "well. alright, then. if you've got it handled." and was that... respect? something close, at least? wow!

and then olu had hesitated and added, "i wouldn't pry, you know, but your relationship with the captain is kind of a security risk factor around here, so. we thought maybe we should check up on things."

that had prickled at stede a little. "edward and i just fine, thank you! a little trust would be appreciated, you know." ed wasn't some kind of steel trap ready to spring closed at the slightest wrong touch. he was a kind, lovely, understanding man who layed there all limp like a doll while stede buggered him and it was still the best sex stede had had by orders of magnitude.

"...sure, captain, but.... you get marooned once, yanno. it can be kind of hard to trust again."

stede had deflated at that, thinking of ed all alone all night on a dock, alone, alone, gradually realized he'd been... stede had abandoned him. how stede knows ed loves him but isn't really sure just yet if ed *trusts* him anymore. maybe he's so wounded by stede's abandonment that he doesn't feel like he can speak up when he hates everything stede is doing to and in his beautiful, beloved body!

oluwande had sighed. "talk to him, captain."

"...you're right, you're right. i will."

stede is going to. he is going to bring it up. he is going to start a difficult conversation with his partner, ON PURPOSE. he's abandoned the aristocracy, so there's no call continuing to dance around every issue like it will disappear if looked at in the light!

he's going to be more like ed, who just says things when he's upset, even when it's visibly difficult for him because he is courageous and strong-hearted--

(at no point does stede make the leap to 'and therefore if ed had a problem with the sex we were having he, unlike me, would actually say something.' empathy machine out of service)

anyway uh fuck theres a plot probably? some kind of plot? they work it out and then theres smut with pillow princess ed the end

[jakowskis]

ok i just finished batman the caped crusader and i thought i'd dump my thoughts here cuz why not

big fan of the 1940s noir vibes, batman ofc originated in the 40s and i love that its been able to evolve w modern times but the 40s will always be its home yanno, so it's always good when it goes back to it. was one of the appeals of btas too. it esp pairs well w all the mob stuff going on within gotham theres just smth so classic abt batman beating up gangsters w tommy guns. batman n noir pair soo infinitely well. its a key component to the universe rlly

loveddd barbara and renee. i love barbara's diversity as a character, she works well n thrives in so many roles. she was essentially the main character of this tbh n she kicked ass. loved her

was cool to see characters u dont see often - i whooped when onomatopoeia showed up. too bad they underutilized him. what we did see was cool tho

toby stephens was srsly channeling tim curry oml

CARRIE!!! STEPHANIE!! there might of been more but i only clocked it when i immediately recognized carrie fsdhk (update i just checked the other two were dick n jason refs??? ok!!!!)

dude some shit was creepyyy like. idk if this was for kids per se but if i watched as a kid several things in this woulda creeped me tf out. ig it's sort of on par w btas / 90s cartoons in general which were a bit more... Intense but ya i was like woah at parts

i forgot how much fun it is to hav a villain of the week / semi unrelated story every ep like. idk if its just the shows ive been watching or a streaming thing but i feel like that genre of show n esp cartoon is a lot less common than it used to be, at least in media that's not exclusively for kids. altho again i rlly dunno what the age range for this was. maybe an intense pg idk

the elephant in the room... harley... sigh. it was rlly cool to see a harley who exists independently of joker, who created herself, but it was... an odd take for her that i wanted to like, but couldn't. it was mostly a matter of her temperament when she was doing her crimes, like i just.. couldn't reconcile it. out-of-costume harley was good, i loved her, and her x renee 👀but once that jester's costume was on it felt all wrong. i liked her motives, but the execution... you can do the off-on switch with certain characters - harley isn't one of them. a calm calculated cold harley who doesnt have any fun in her villainy just doesn't work. so that was a bummer

the bruce in this felt like a midpoint between the batman 2022's weird little freak + then, like, ur standard bruce. gd and he was fucking RUDE. it kind of drove me nuts a little tbh like his callousness with alfred (not calling him by his name???) was an odd choice imo

soo many recognizable voices in this. im a voice acting nerd so i was having fun consulting the wikipedia and going 'OHHH'

i hav more thoughts but im sleepy so im jus gonna wrap up by saying ive been following this since day one like i read a news article abt it wayyy back in 2021 when it was in development n i followed news on it for ages n its so cool to see the final product, like i havent had tht w many things i usually forget abt stuff fshkdj. also i cant believe max passed on it like this had all the ingredients of a winner n it turned out even better than you'd expect. baffling

all n all p damn good except for some odd character choices but i very much liked it

[unknownsoldiers]

"Bad news, hot off the press," Tormentor announced to the chorus of groans in the mess hall. He hadn't even said what it was but the collective already had their imaginations running amok as to what might follow. It was war after all, so no news was ever really 'good', merely tolerable at best, agony at worst.

"The eatery is a safe space," the communications officer, Mixer, griped. "Bad news isn't allowed within these walls."

The others murmured, concurring with the sentiment as the Commander walked towards the back of the room to approach his lieutenant and deliver him the news privately first. With the mask, the green shuttle wore it was difficult to read how bad the news might truly be. The guessing began as Lieutenant silently read what was handed to him.

A single fin barely twitched before he looked up at the tank to confirm this was, in fact, true. Tormentor, in turn, gave a slight head tilt down. "On a positive note," he rumbles quietly, "You've been called on your own little side mission for the first two weeks of this assignment."

"Silver linings, it seems." Lieutenant agreed, "The higher-ups are learning you do not play well with Turmoil. However, I would have preferred they send you out to run their errands instead of me. At least I work better with him."

Tormentor's gaze narrows behind his visor, "That's why you're not coming. I can't have you elope off with him."

"As if I would ever abandon this mission," Lieutenant assured, a tinge insulted. Simply because he and his commander didn't always get along didn't mean he'd leave. He was assigned to the unit and he would remain until ordered otherwise. "Besides, he knows you would take Deadlock from him instantly if he took me. The two of you in one company will be a recipe for a disaster. That is why he took him and you are stuck with me."

Tormentor shrugged, "Deadlock doesn't have outlier abilities, yanno. Kind of a bar set there."

"I believe rabies counts."

A snort follows, "Right, he probably wants another bite of you for stabbing him."

"He is never getting that close enough to me again, I can promise you that." Lieutenant huffed, handing back the datapad. "Try not to smuggle him onto the ship after this assignment. The last thing we need is a feral mech hellbent on a murder spree simply because you want to 'help him.'"

"Eh, I don't need him turning a gun on one of our own. Considering he managed to get close enough to bite you the last time, I doubt any of the other crew would be able to fend him off." Tormentor glanced over Lieutenant's hand, checking for the lingering marks as he took back the pad. "It's only six months." the tank reassured, "We get it over with, we get out and then we don't have to interact with them for another five or so years. You know, depending on how this campaign shakes out."

Lieutenant grunts, "Just go tell the rest. They keep looking at us anxiously waiting. You might stress them out the longer we talk here."

Tormentor nods with a parting pat on Lieutenant's shoulder before returning to the rest of the crew.

[alyjojo]

Advice to Work on Yourself 🦄 in March 2023: Aquarius

4 Pentacles - 10 Pentacles - The World

Regarding: 5 Cups rev

You are an intensely strict and rule abiding Aquarius, for being an Aquarius. There’s a lot of Cap energy here, you could have some of those placements. But the thing is… It 👏 Doesn’t 👏 Make 👏 You 👏 Happy 👏 So what’s the point? What are you proving? To who? Who cares? Why so serious? 😐

This is deeeeeply ingrained behavior that I don’t think a simple tarot reading is going to, yanno, “hey do this it’ll help” - “oh sure, check, that’s done.” No. You are a collector of grudges, that probably stems from an entire lifetime of experience. And you just…never let it go, though you HAVE healed! 5 Cups rev, it’s over with, you’re fine, you’ve healed and moved on, whatever it was doesn’t even hurt or cross your mind anymore. But the leftover effects that negative experiences have had on you have made you extremely defensive, strict, “morally above” others around you, and you try nothing that is new. Like at all, nothing. Specifically with family, if you have been hurt in the past, you’ve resisted working with them at all since. This one is hard to advice tbh, because it’s not a simple fix. Octopus is probably the most on point. Try on other faces.

You’re afraid of doing anything that’s going to mess up what you have, or anything that’s going to hurt period. So you’re safe, and you’re morally upright…and you’re grumpy. The World IS the advice, you’ve healed, this needs to end, it’s not who you are…or rather, want to be. The Sun is rev with The Moon showing this is unconscious to you and you don’t even see it. You’re consumed by fears, grudges, worst case scenarios, assuming outcomes of things you’ve never even tried or the negative thoughts of people you’ve never even talked to. Stop assuming. Try it. The Sun can be flipped around to see through allll of this murky ick Moon energy (which is not always murky and ick unless you live there, and you do). A side note, if you’re more of a nighttime person, try being more of a daytime person & take that sun/moon message literally, it could help.

Putting an end to this overly restrictive and negative outlook takes time and effort. More sunshine - literally. More flexibility, allow things to flow towards you and be open to new experiences. You’re extremely defensive towards one standard way of living, which may be due to your parents, religion, etc., but you’re getting in your own way. Baby steps would be to go out with friends, and following Octopus’ advice. Aqua is not typically a dark and guarded sign but it is a fixed sign, and dark & guarded comes with the territory, resisting change. Resist your own resistance. You’re your own chains, that need breaking.

Animal Oracle: Octopus 🐙

“Practice shapeshifting by altering your physical appearance and mannerisms.”

To become adept at shapeshifting, it’s necessary to remain flexible and resilient, and be willing to practice different identities by altering your way of dressing, hairstyle, your demeanor, and mannerisms. Particularly focus on your body language and voice qualities. Experiment by making small changes in any of these aspects and watch what happens. Everyone has numerous personas from which they operate, and you’re no exception. It’s a matter of being conscious of those personas and modifying them through the art of shapeshifting, just like actors do. Developing this ability can help you more readily adapt to various situations you encounter, and enable you to deal with them more effectively. Let yourself be an actor in everyday life, and have fun with it. Just remember who you are at your core.

Artist Oracle: You’ve pulled two

CHARLES & RAY EAMES

- Design your days - don’t plan them.

- Aspire to profound practicality.

- Be unbending in your flexibility.

CARAVAGGIO

- Try to keep violence metaphorical.

- Adjust your eyes to darkness.

- A head on the shoulders is worth two in the hand.

Advice:

- Greet Your Friends With Enthusiasm

- Host a Murder Mystery Party!

Charms:

Youth Butterfly 🦋 on 5 Cups rev show you having grown considerably and healed from much of whatever grudges have occurred in your life, possibly stemming from childhood. The Hierophant can be a marriage but I don’t see “love” energy, more likely parents, teachers, religions, family lessons, deeply ingrained morals and “rules” you strictly follow. And his father and their father before them, yada yada. But you’re an Aquarius! Your soul’s purpose on this planet is to unapologetically go your own way, make your own rules, which is what you’re being told to try to start doing, but consciously, because it hasn’t been 🫥 That’s not quit your job & move to an island, I mean if you can…it’s just relax, have fun, assume nothing, be more open & less judgy.

Black Squirrel 🐿 on 4 Pentacles gathers negativity, grudges, pessimistic or narrow minded perceptions and stores them in your brain, to use on things where they don’t even apply. It’s a pest to your happiness. There’s a closet in your brain where this squirrel has hoarded all sorts of ick perceptions, rules to live by, fear, grudges to cling to & its time to clean house. When you have an instant negative reaction to something, who is it, an open-minded you or a naughty rodent being triggered from that one time in 1984? Let it go.

White Rabbit 🐇 on Greet Your Friends has a sense of childhood, and so does the Butterfly that shows you’ve healed. Talk with your oldest & closest friends, spend time with them, and appreciate them being exactly who they are. They can help you lighten up & bring out the “old” you naturally. Not that that’s better than who you are now, but there’s some happy, free, and silly part that is.

[lemememeringue]

love dysfunctional families and how what you think is a financial issue is actually just a breakdown in communication bc two ppl just happen to trigger meltdowns in each other constantly

[aristrocrat]

TFFAF UPDATE

Warning: hiatus coming soon

(May 16th - August 1st)

If you don’t want to read this whole thing, the main points are in bold

Okay, uh, how the hell did we almost get all the way through TWO SEASONS of Teen Wolf in just under six months?!

Omg, I just wanted to give a quick thank you to all of you following along, I never in a million years would’ve thought this series would get more than like 20 followers. But my page has well over 700 followers (HOW THE FUCK) and this series has somewhere around 200-300 separate people following along (HOW THE FUCKING FUCK). SO UGH JUST THE BIGGEST THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU!! ILYSM!! THE WAY I BRAG ABOUT ALL OF YOU TO EVERYONE I MEET LMAOO

Now, you’re probably wondering “Sam, what’s gonna happen after you finish writing Season 2?” Well, my friend, there will be a brief hiatus between season two and three.

Although it is SO MUCH FUN to write this story and interact with everyone it is literally the highlight of my week, I’m feeling a little burnt out with this series, and I believe, as a result, the writing isn’t what it could be. It’s giving wattpad fanfic and I want it to give TV show vibes. I feel like I need a few weeks off so I can come back with a fresh perspective and a new excitement to continue on with Y/N and Stiles’ story. I’d really like to focus more on writing original ish stories this summer instead of following along an assigned plot, yanno?

That being said… If you are interested in following along, I will still be writing stories this summer! I just want to focus my energy on writing original imagines and stories for other fandoms! (Bridgerton? Marvel? Andrew Garfield? If you have any ideas, DM me and I’ll write about that too!) I have a lot of fun things planned for the next few months!

If you’re not interested in following along any other stories, please check in on July 1st and August 1st for TFFAF updates and fun side stories. I still plan on writing about Y/N and Stiles throughout the summer, mostly the moments in the relationship and friendship that weren’t incorporated into the story bc weren’t part of the plot. I’m thinking of the sweet moments/dates in their relationship, backstories (them having a crush on one another/cute stories from their childhood/etc) and maybe stories that go between season 2 and 3 bc I’m pretty sure you won’t like the potential cliffhanger I have planned. Again, if you have any ideas or anything you specifically want to see, let me know and I’ll make sure to incorporate it in!

I absolutely LOVE the community we’ve created here. This is genuinely such a safe and comfortable place for me and I hope it is for you too!! I am so so proud of our little corner of the internet! I wanna say thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for the likes, reblogs, and the comments ugh the comments are my favorite part! And thank you for following along this fun journey with me!

Okay, someone shut me up. I’m just ranting now🧍🏽‍♀️

SEE YOU NEXT WEEK FOR S2 EP10, BITCHES :P

[kpop---scenarios]

Revenge Is A Bitch (1)

Pairing: Nichkhun x Reader | Jaehyun x Reader

Warning: Eventual smut, cheating, angst

Word Count: 1.7k

A/N: Surprise! It's now a series. Let me know if you wanna be tagged!

Summary: You're life with Nichkhun was amazing, until you went to visit him on a business trip, where you meet Jaehyun, a friend and coworker of your boyfriend. Things escalate quickly from a little flirting in a club, but things get even worse when Nichkhun finds out. "

Y/N." Nichkhun growls. "Give it back." He says, trying his best not to smile. You stand on the other side of the couch, his phone in your hand as you stick your tongue out at him. 

"You want it back?" You ask.

He nods his head. 

"Then come get it." You yell, laughing as he charges for you, bursting out into laughter as well. Sometimes you were needy, especially when you felt like he was paying more attention to his phone than you. You giggle and scream as you run around the couch, Wooyoung sitting on the couch watching the two of you in disgust. Nichkhun grabs you, pulling you into him, peppering your face in kisses. You stop fighting him and he sets you down as you both continue laughing. You give him back his phone and he slides it into his pocket before tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. 

"I love you, beautiful." He whispers. 

"And I love you." You grin, placing a kiss on his lips. 

"And I'm gonna be sick." Wooyoung groans, leaving the living room as the two of you laugh at his annoyance and disgust of your love. It had been two years of just pure bliss and happiness with Nichkhun, something you never thought you'd ever find, until you found him. 

A few hours later, you were sitting on the edge of the bed with your arms crossed as you watched Nichkhun pack a bag. As usual, a last minute business meeting came up, and he was taking off for a week. 

"Babe, where's my blue suit? The one with the stripes.. yanno?" He yells from inside the closet. As much as you didn't want to help him, you begrudgingly stood up, shuffling towards the closet to help him find the suit he needed. You roll your eyes as you walk in, and Nichkhun is on one knee, holding a ring pop, making you laugh. "I'm sorry I have to leave my love, but with this ring, I hope you remember that I love you, and I can't wait to come back to you and marry you one day." He grins. 

He always knew how to make you feel better and put a smile on your face. Some days you swore he knew you better than you knew yourself. You take the ring and stick it on your finger as he stands up. 

"Now, I actually do need my suit." He laughs. 

"You mean the one that's hanging right in front of you?" You giggle, taking it off the rack and handing it to him. 

"My savior." He grins, putting it carefully in his bag. 

"Toothbrush?" You ask him, beginning to list off the items he needs. 

"Yes!" He exclaims. 

"Underwear? Socks? Passport? Wallet? Casual clothes?" You ask. 

"Check, check, check.. where's my passport?" He asks worriedly. Despite only going to a different city, he still needed it. 

"Nightstand, left hand side." You sigh. He quickly leaves the closet, going to his nightstand as you zip up his bag, bringing it into the bedroom. 

"Like I said, my savior." He grins. 

"I'll call you when I land." He says before answering his ringing phone. "I'll be right down." 

He gives you a quick peck before heading through your lavish apartment, with you following behind him, watching him walk out the front door, leaving you alone. 

It had been a few days and you still hadn't heard from Nichkhun. This really wasn't unusual for him, considering he got very busy with work but he hadn't even sent you a goodnight text in the last 3 days, and that made you really sad. So you decided to do something about it. With a plan in your head you went to sleep, knowing you had an early morning ahead of you. 

When you woke up, you booked your last minute ticket, and began packing your bags. You felt a frisson of excitement skate across your nerve endings as you zipped up your bags and waited for your ride to the airport. You very rarely, well actually never had surprised Nichkhun, but this time it felt right. It felt like it was going to be a wonderful surprise. 

After a smooth flight, you caught a cab, and told him to go to the hotel Nichkhun was at. You felt like nothing could go wrong, this was the perfect plan, with a perfect execution. You paid the nice cab driver, who also took your bags from his car for you and you went into the lobby to wait for Nichkhun. You called his phone a few times, but he didn't pick up. You look around the fancy hotel and observe a couple who seemed to not be able to keep their hands off each other. You loved that for them. You smiled to yourself, imagining you and Nichkhun being that publicly annoying. You wished you could show your love and passion the way they were. The way they touched each other, it spoke of passion and need and familiarity. 

You looked at your phone that has now gone to voicemail six times, you glance up once more and see the faces of the couple that enter the elevator with tears in your eyes. 

**

“Welcome to Club Arriba! What can I get you to drink?”

"6 shots of your strongest liquor." You yell, slapping the credit card that Nichkhun had given you for emergencies. Clearly this was one, and so was the lavish hotel room, and the room service you had ordered before coming to the club. 

"You got it." The bartender smiles, sliding the cars off the bar. You stand there waiting for your shots when three girls approach you. 

"I love your dress." One giggles. You hold up your finger, asking for a moment before you quickly, and quite professionally down four of the six shots you had bought. 

"Thank you." You grin. You turn to the bartender and wave him over. "Four more shots for me and my new friends." You yell, taking the last two shots on the counter. 

And like that, you had made friends with some really nice girls, who bought you drinks too. The four of you were dancing, laughing and having a great time when you feel a pair of hands land on your hips. You look behind him and see an extremely handsome man smiling down at you. You don't mind, you enjoy the attention, besides it wasn't like you were getting much these days anyways. You move your body closer to his, swaying your hips to the beat of the music, while smiling at your new friends, who were also dancing with others. As you were getting more into it, you felt a hand wrap around your wrist. You look up and see a man that you absolutely recognize trying to pull you away from the other man that had begun groping you. 

"What are you doing?" You ask. Glaring at the man. You know him.. from.. Nickhun's office. "Jaehyun?" You ask. He looks at you surprised that you remembered his name. He pulls you away from the man, through the crowd to a secluded hallway. He swings you around, pushing you against the wall as he crosses his arms. 

"What the hell are you doing?" He asks. "You're in a relationship with my good friend and my boss." He hisses. 

"Mhm, are you sure you're as good of a friend as you think you are?" You ask, tilting your head to the side. 

"I don't understand what you mean." He sighs. 

Of course he doesn't. No one knows, you didn't even know until this morning. 

"What do you want, Jae? Should I blow you so you don't tell my precious Nichkhun?" You ask, pouting. 

"I would never do that to Nichkhun." He deepens. "I'm going to have to tell him about this." He finishes. 

You shrug your shoulders, pushing yourself off the wall. "Do what you gotta do." You say. “You know what I’ll help you tell him." You say, taking out your phone. Jaehyun stands there, watching you, unsure of what you're doing.  You turn around with snapchat open, and kiss him on the cheek before snapping a picture before he moves away from you.  

"What the fuck are you doing? Do you realize that this looks fucking bad?" He yells.  

"I've seen the way you look at me when I come into the office. Do you want a taste Jae? Would you like to feel me gripping you while inside me? How about how wet and warm it would feel to cum inside me? So good."  You whisper into his ear. 

Jaehyun moves back from you, looking partially offended, and partially turned on from what you said. He doesn't say anything to you, he just walks away, and you watch him disappear into the crowd. You adjust your dress and throw your shoulders back and walk back to your new friends. 

As you continue to dance, you can feel eyes on you, raking your body up and down. You look around and see Jaehyun leaning against the bar, his arms crossed as he watches you. The way your hands roam your body, the way you lick your lips as you watch him. You can feel his guard being let down as he begins to inch closer to you. The rush of victory flows through your body as he walks towards you. 

"Let me take you home." He says, offering his hand to you. He slides Nichkhun's credit card back in your purse and he weaves the two of you out of the club. 

"Are you trying to get in my panties, Jaehyun?" You ask, looking at the handsome man. 

"I'm just taking you home." He says. 

The two of you are standing outside your hotel room as you put your key in and open the door to your large suite. 

"Don't tell Nichkhun I'm here." You say, walking inside, Jaehyun following you. 

"Let's just get you to bed." He sighs. 

You stand in front of him, pulling your dress off, dropping it on the floor. You're almost naked, in front of your boyfriend's good friend, feeling nothing but lust and attraction for this man. 

Jaehyun takes a deep breath. "Fuck it." He whispers, crashing his lips onto yours, pushing you onto the bed. Your fun starts now, and soon Nichkhun will know that revenge is a bitch. 

[loudlyunladylike]

i’m an american who’s wanted to go to this one british university for a long while now both because i really like the school and also because universities in canada and europe are much much cheaper even for international students than any american university, and oof man :( i’ve had mixed feelings about living in the uk for a while now, and it’s gotten worse in light of recent events, but also like! it’s not like i’d have to stay there after graduation, and i do think it’d be interesting to get to live somewhere that’s such a change of pace from the shitty southern suburbs i’ve grown up in. but at the same time i have this feeling of guilt over wanting to move to the uk despite current events and everything. you don’t have to answer this if you don’t want!!!! but as a bri’ish person, do you maybe have any words of advice?

Oooo ok ok this is cool and interesting, I'll try and give you some vague advice with the best of my capabilities but at the end of the day I'm just some guy yanno.

So first off I would say that I feel taking an opportunity to travel is always very cool, especially if it's for education purposes because you don't need to have the biggest long term goals there you can sort of just dip your toes into it. And as someone in uni I do currently have a handful of American friends on my course who have been very excited over just how drastically cheeper tuition fees and shit are over here.

I personally don't think you should need to feel guilty about wanting to come over here, I guess just make sure you're aware of like current events that are going on and weigh them up accordingly. Like politics seems to be wilding everywhere to some degree but it's about what sort of wilding you're signing up to. Like rn our main things are the 1) cost of living crisis, so a lot of bills and general energy costs are hella going up, alongside some other general prices like food shops and such, 2) the queen dying and ur new king, as you're not planning on coming right this second than that probably won't cause much of an issue for you but like yeah, this crazy ass monarchy is still kicking about and generally existing, and 3) Police crime sentencing and courts bill, which is basically a bill restricting certain areas of protest and giving the police more powers in restricting them. You can probably do your own deeper research into all those and other general stuff that I've missed out.

I hear a lot of news from the Guardian which isn't perfect but also isn't aggressively right wing (avoid the sun, and the daily mail yikes) also if you have instagram there's an account called uk fact check politics which posts a lot of breaking news and always sites their sources!! so you can have browses of that or some of the sites they are sourcing (warning though they do post quite a lot, if you plan on following, so you could also just browse a bit)

Overall main points:

Travelling is good and fun, adds to some experience in life, and is good to see how people may live differently outside of your bubble

Travelling for school makes a lot of sense, considering how expensive american tuition fees are, especially if you already like a school and specific course

Also means you don't need to be committed to live there long time but you will have to for a couple of years

I personally don't think you need to feel a guilt about wanting to come over here

Just research and be aware of the sort of political climate and situations that are going on here so you can weigh them up in your decision making and if you do decide to come here you won't just be ignorant to everything yanno

[shuahoonie]

out of love [tom holland]

PAIRING: tom holland x female!reader 

SUMMARY: being close friends with your ex is fine, right? even if your love for them was unparalleled among others. even if you were still in the process of moving on from them. even if you know they’re happy with someone else. even if you have no clue whether they loved you like you loved them. 

WARNINGS: foul language, so much angst, it starts ok at first then goes downhill from there. i literally write things on the go so i don’t know if this will have fluff at some point 

(if it does and i didn’t state it here, send me a cute photo of tom and a message of: ok wow she pulled thru 🤪; and if it doesn’t have fluff, send me a meme and a message of: miss girl i simply cannot today ✋😃)  

WORD COUNT: 5.6k 

A/N: hello! tonight, we are going to be sad!!! i know i usually like to write about all things fluff, but this?? this is just for me because i am having one of those episodes. i just need to feel something again aside from the stress of writing 3 academic papers per week lmao. i’m def not expecting people to like this type of vibe but yannoe. i apologize in advance. 

this is inspired by that one episode from new girl (season 6 x ep 16)

gif credits: @thollandgifs​ 

vanessa’s masterlist | taglist form | part two - pandemonium ​​

“You know, you can still live with us right?” Your friend Maia commented as she placed the box, labelled “fine china that mom gave me but will i ever use them?”, on the kitchen island. 

“I know,” You murmured dropping the heavy case of pots and pans on the floor. “But maybe living alone will be good for me.” You replied, forcing a smile. “Besides, I don’t want to int—“

“Hey, Y/N, where do you want this?” Harrison asked as he held out a box that’s labelled with “books that my grandpa passed on. HANDLE WITH CARE!” 

“Oh, just set it down on the living room—“ before you could even finish, Harrison dropped the box on the floor as if it was nothing. “Harrison!” You hissed, as you quickly rushed to check on the box. 

“Y/N, babe, they’re just books. Surely they can withstand any amount of pressure, yeah?” Haz tried to reassure you. 

“Haz, those books are from my grandpa—which I’m sure he got from his grandpa.” You sighed. “They’re really old and fragile, so I just want them to be in a well enough condition to stand in my bookcase.” 

“‘m sorry,” He murmured, rubbing the back of his head. “It’s just, why do you have to move out?” Harrison asked, frustrated at the whole thing. 

“Like I told Maia, maybe having my own place will be good for me.” You replied calmly, as you neatly put the box filled with your grandpa’s books in the corner room—the initial place where you want to build your bookcase. “It’s been a while since I’ve lived on my own.” 

“Yeah,” Harrison acknowledged “But there’s absolutely no reason for you to move out. You can’t possibly leave me with her!” He pointed at Maia who let out an audible gasp. Harrison was being dramatic of course.  

“Haz—“ You were trying to fight off a laugh. “You two are my constants and if I became dependant on having you two at my convenience, it’s going to be a huge problem.” 

“In my opinion, I don’t see it as a problem.” Maia pointed out childishly. You shook your head in disbelief. You had to move out because you miss having a place to yourself— a place where you can be at your complete worst and you don’t have to think about your friends worrying about you. 

Besides, moving out means you don’t have to see Tom that often and that was a bonus in your book. It wasn’t a sour breakup per se, it’s just really difficult to feel happy for your ex when he practically showcases how different he is now with his girlfriend. 

You prided yourself as a mature and well-rounded person who could be complete friends with her ex as if that’s normal. You could only keep the façade for so long. 

Four months. It’s been four months since you and Tom broke up. You lived with Maia soon after the breakup and that enough was a blessing. Maia couldn’t bear to handle the fact that you would be alone at a time like this. Harrison usually crashes at Maia’s so he was bound to move in with you two. In fact, he was always there more often than you. 

That was the point where you were convinced that Harrison liked Maia and that Maia liked Harrison.

Conveniently, you and Tom never ‘officially’ moved in together so you could avoid him freely at all costs.

Of course, that was eventually going to end soon. You and Tom were in the same friend group so you were bound to see each other, much to your dismay. You couldn’t exactly make Harrison and Maia pick friends because it’s not fair for anyone. 

You were all friends before you and Tom decided to date. Maybe that’s why people say to never date a friend—especially if they’re near and dear. 

You were coming back from work when you found people in the living room, and as if the universe really wanted to test you, it was the least likely people you’d expect to see. 

“Y/N!” Maia’s voice was pure panic. “I didn’t know you’d be home this early.” 

Your eyes quickly flickered between the two people standing across you before you diverted your attention to Maia. “Uh—yeah. There wasn’t really much to do in the office so I came home early.” 

Maia turned to Harrison who was equally lost on how to handle the situation. I mean, who wouldn’t?! What were you supposed to do when your friend drops in unannounced with their new girlfriend and to makes the matters worse, your other friend—whom your friend dated before— decides to come home early? 

You didn’t know how what kind of spirit took over your body that prompted you to extend your hand to the girl sitting beside your ex and say: “Hello, I’m Y/N.” 

The girl looked surprised but shook your hand in return. “Nadine,” Nadine smiled slyly “I—um, I’m Tom’s girlfriend.” 

Tom looked mildly uncomfortable but you chose to ignore it. You were becoming good at that—ignoring Tom. 

You returned the smile at Nadine. You could feel the burning stares from your friends, mostly Maia. You cleared your throat and said, “I’ll just be in my room to finish the papers I need to send to my editor if you’ll excuse me.” 

Before you left completely, you gave Nadine another smile and said, “It’s nice to meet you again, Nadine.”

You don’t remember how you got to your room but that was the least of your concern. You were just undeniably overwhelmed with what just happened that you didn’t even notice that there was a knock on your door. 

When you opened the door, it was the last person you expected to see standing in your doorframe. 

“Can we talk?” Tom asked in almost a whisper. 

You gave him a half shrug and opened the door slightly wider for him. 

“We’re okay, right?” He asked, looking at you in the eye. 

At this point, you convinced yourself that you were numb. You never talked about the breakup. You never overtly said anything about what you felt. You felt empty. You convinced yourself that you were empty. 

You stared back at Tom and without missing a beat, you replied “Of course. Why shouldn’t we?” 

“Just admit that you two will miss me,” You teased, grabbing another box from Maia. 

“Only if you admit that you’re moving out for an entirely different reason,” Maia whispered carefully as her eyes flickered towards Tom who was also helping with your move out. 

You pressed your lips together and acted like he wasn’t even there. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You said, you know, like a liar. 

You weren’t a vocal person. The idea of talking about your feelings was really difficult for you so you try your best to avoid it. Actually, it’s worse than that. You’d go to extreme lengths to avoid confrontation.

Obviously, it wasn’t healthy. You would always distance yourself whenever you feel emotionally exhausted, and you really meant that distance. It wasn’t bad at first—maybe a day or two was all you needed before you felt comfortable enough to be around people again. 

Then it became worse when you were in university. You were beyond unreachable. Aside from being emotionally exhausted, you were mentally drained too. You were always buried with papers and readings which was unavoidable but it took a huge toll on you. So whenever you get a chance to get a break, you completely shut off from people. 

Your friends definitely noticed it and they tried their best to help. 

Tom was among the people who definitely went out of their way to help you. He would always drop by at your dorm with food or coffee—he would literally just drop them off, most of the time. He would leave small notes that up to this day, you still kept and tucked away in a box. 

Both Maia and Harrison followed Tom’s approach. They would all alternate on who’s dropping what and when. Some days, Maia would drop off a new skincare product she’s been using or a lovely box of macarons from your favourite patisserie. 

On other days, Harrison would drop off some of his home-cooked meals or maybe a book he saw from a local bookstore—a book that reminded him of you.

Tom was very persistent though. He would sometimes wait out on the hall, just so he could see you and reassure himself (and your friends) that you were okay. 

You found it taxing at first—you would often try your best to match the energy from your friends, which only left you exhausted at the end of the day. You wanted space and you clearly weren’t getting that from Tom. You did acknowledge that he only did it out of pure concern. 

You often wondered why he did that, staying, but you didn’t ask him. You never did.

Maybe you were afraid that you’d come off as rude or that you’d seem ungrateful for dismissing someone when they’ve clearly taken the time off their day just to check on you. 

However, every time you’d open that door, it always seemed that Tom would breathe a huge sigh of relief when you lock eyes. Even if it was just for a quick second. You wondered about that too.

Tom wasn’t really being intrusive. Most of the time, he will leave a few minutes after you’d open the door to get the things your friends would drop off. You’d always ask him if he wants to stay inside for a bit, but he’d always decline.

Except for that one time, though. That one time that you knew you were going to fall in love.

It was the week of midterms and deadlines. You were knee-deep with papers from different classes that demanded to be finished that week, one of which was a research paper that practically tied you to your laptop and made you consume an unhealthy amount of caffeine. 

It wasn’t until 2 am when you were about to go on a quick drive to a McDonald’s but saw Tom dozed off in the hallway, his back pressed against the wall.

“Tom,” You shook him gently, trying not to startle him. “Tom, wake up.”

His eyes slowly fluttered open, seemingly disoriented at first but would soon fall into the warm familiarity that your face always brings. 

“Why are you sleeping in the hall?” You asked quietly, careful not to make a fuss. The walls in your dorm were very thin and you learned that the hard way. You’d think they’d put a disclaimer about that in the lease when you’re housing a bunch of university students with raging sex drives. 

It took Tom a minute to fully comprehend the question, seeing that the bright fluorescent light was being harsh on him and that he’s generally like that when being jolted awake. 

“Oh, erm, I—” Tom was finding the right words to use. He can’t exactly exclaim ‘I’ve been worried sick about you!’ out of nowhere. Instead he said, “I was waiting for you to open the door, just to see if you’re alright.” 

“All night?”

Tom scratched the back of his neck. “It seemed that way, yeah.” He muttered sheepishly. 

You were dumbfounded. Surely this was the first time someone actually fell asleep outside your door, waiting for you to come out. It was sweet but highly unnecessary. 

“I was just about to head out and get some McDonald’s, do you wanna come with?” You asked, giving him a hand to hoist himself up. 

“I should get going—“ 

“Have you eaten yet?” You asked cutting him off, taking Tom by surprise. He shook his head no. “Then you should really come.” You said, jingling your car keys in front of him.

Tom was debating whether or not to go with you. It’s been a while since you hung out, but that was the same case for everyone. None of your friends have properly hung out with you ever since the semester started. 

Tom should say yes, right? 

“Let’s go, Tommy,” You said as you grabbed his hand and dragged him across the hall. “I’ve been staring at my laptop all day and I really need some unhealthy food to balance out the concerning amount of caffeine I’ve consumed.” 

“Is that why you’re practically bouncing off the walls?” Tom asked amused, trying to keep up with your pace with your hand holding his. 

“Totally,” You grinned at him. “I need to wear out the caffeine or else, I’d have to skip my morning class again.” 

“French?” 

You nodded. “They’re counting the amount of absences in that class and I really need to keep my shit together.” 

“‘m not exactly sure why you took that as an elective,” Tom commented, properly wrapping his hand around yours with fingers interlacing each other.  

You tried to ignore it, you really did, but the warm feeling that settled around your stomach drove you crazy. 

“Why not? I think it’s cool to learn another language.” You nudged him playfully which he gladly returned. 

“I know and trust me, I’m in awe that you’re learning another language! erm—I guess it’s just I feel like you’re overworking yourself too much.” Tom pointed out softly, hoping he didn’t come off as rude or intrusive. 

“Eh, I don’t mind.” You replied “It’s what drives me to keep going and for me that’s more than enough. Even if it leaves me little to no sleep, even if it takes too much of my time—it’s enough reason for me to do it.” 

Tom stared at you in admiration as soon as those words slipped out your mouth and you didn’t even notice it. You were walking towards the student parking lot, consumed by the twinkling lights from the neighbouring lanes near campus. 

Maybe if you weren’t busy consuming the quiet campus grounds, you’d notice the very first time Tom fell in love with you. 

“Besides, I know a phrase in french now.”

“Hm—and what’s that, then?” 

“Je ne suis pas l’escargot” 

“L’escargot? Isn’t that—“ 

“I am not a snail,” You giggled. “Well, it’s true, isn’t it?”

Tom laughed, “I supposed so.” 

Maybe if you weren’t so afraid of confrontation, you’d have an idea of when Tom knew that you were his person.

See, the thing is— you needed to face reality sooner or later and both your friends could see right through it. 

“Honestly, Y/N, how on earth can your box of art materials be this heavy—” Tom appeared in front of the door frame, heaving as he carried the box from two flights of stairs. 

You quickly averted your gaze from Maia, who was staring at you expectantly, and cleared your throat. “You can just set them by the door, Tom. I don’t know where to put them yet.” You said as you tried your best to act normal. 

“You sure? They’re a tad heavy and I don’t want you to strain yourself.” Tom asked with furrowed brows. 

All you could do was nod. The last thing you wanted was Tom’s focused attention on you.

“If you say so,” Tom sighed in defeat “I’m going to grab more boxes—Baby, you don’t have to carry that!” Tom was quick to disappear as he urgently dashed towards his girlfriend, Nadine. 

“Oh, but I want to help, Tommy.” You heard Nadine say sweetly, assuming she was also pouting. 

You could see Maia roll her eyes, urging you to give her a nudge and a taunting look. “Maia,” you called her out, silently pleading her to stop. 

Maia settled down but she wasn’t exactly calm about it either. “I’m still not sure why she’s here.” She murmured. You and Harrison were close enough that you can hear her rambles—which was expected from her anyway. 

Maia and Nadine go way back—like toddlers and playgrounds kind of way. Though that sounds figuratively adorable in a way, Maia and Nadine never got along. 

Nadine used to date Maia’s brother, which already caused Maia a great demise. As one could expect, the relationship didn’t end well. She left him out of nowhere, saying she needs to find herself—or something along those lines. 

A week after the breakup, what Nadine found was herself in the arms of another man. Of course, Maia’s brother was devastated—He truly loved Nadine. Maia had to be the pillar that her brother leaned on. It took Maia a great amount of time to help her brother pick up the pieces that Nadine left. 

So yeah—Maia wasn’t thrilled when she heard that Tom was Nadine’s new boyfriend. 

“She offered to help, Mai,” You whispered “Who am I to deny help?” 

Maia looked at you as if you managed to empty your head while you were moving in between flats. “She’s been after me ever since we were kids. She’s also the reason why it took my brother months to get out of bed,” Maia deadpanned “and She’s Tom’s new girlfriend. Remember Tom? Your ex?” She said rather loudly.

You gave her a tiny pinch on her arm, causing her to yelp. “Maia, are you nuts?!”

Harrison left the two of you so he could grab more boxes, while you and Maia bickered silently amongst each other. 

“You are thicker than I thought—Seriously, Y/N. Quit pinching me!” Maia aggressively rubbed her arm. 

“They’re going to hear you!” You hissed. “The last thing I want is for those two to get involved.” 

“Babe, they’re already involved. Tom, especially.” Maia remarked. “I see the way you look at Tom. I also see the pain you feel whenever he’s with she who must not be named.” 

“I’m not doing this Maia,” you mumbled as you walked past her. Your objective was now to help Harrison with the remaining boxes. Your objective was anything but to talk about you and Tom. 

“You have to face it sooner or later, Y/N.” Maia called out “I’m not leaving you or this apartment until you tell me what really happened.” 

“What’s going on?” Harrison asked as he entered the apartment, carrying three sets of boxes. You grabbed one from him and actively avoided his question. 

Before Maia could reply, Tom and Nadine appeared on the doorframe, with Nadine practically glued to Tom. 

“Harrison got the last remaining boxes so we’re heading off now,” Tom announced as Nadine’s face painted with clear desperation to get out of your place. “Are we still going bowling tonight?” Tom asked before Nadine whispered something in Tom’s ear and left.

“I’m actually exhausted so I’ll pass,” You answered, obviously avoiding spending time with your ex and his current girlfriend. You’re not that pathetic. 

“Same might actually have to just drink the night away,” Maia responded with a grin.

“Well, there’s no way I’m third-wheeling so I’m good,” Harrison said as he threw himself towards the plush teal couch that you snagged from a flea market. 

For the tiniest second, Tom seemed disappointed but gave a tight-lipped smile. “Oh, maybe we can reschedule our bowling night, then?” He asked. “It’s not as fun to go bowling with just the two people.” 

You, Harrison, and Maia all shared a look. You weren’t on board with bowling-night, to begin with, but you didn’t want Tom to feel as if you were avoiding him—which you were but no one needs to know that. 

Maia looked at you, waiting for an answer because god knows she will solely depend on her decision based on yours. You don’t even have an answer, to begin with. 

“What are you two supposed to do then?” Harrison asked Tom. Thank god for Harrison.

“I might take Nadine to this poetry jam event that she’s been dying to go to” Tom replied with a soft voice. 

“A poetry night?” Maia almost wanted to laugh “You don’t even have the slightest interest in literature, Tom.” Maia didn’t mean to offend him or maybe she did? She wasn’t completely fond of Tom ever since you and Tom broke up—well, she wasn’t fond of the idea that Tom was dating her ‘arch nemesis’, but Tom was her friend and so were you. 

“I know that, Mai.” Tom rolled his eyes “but Nadine likes it and I’ll do everything to make her happy.” That left a bitter taste in your mouth. 

“If you say so,” Maia murmured before she took a quick look at you. She looked like she wants to give you the biggest hug. But you held a stoic look on your face—something that you picked up because you were afraid of confrontation. 

“I’m serious,” Tom defended, lost in his feelings, which only irked Maia even more. 

“I know, I heard you— we heard you,” Maia replied, her face showing only one emotion: annoyed. “God, read the room,” Maia grumbled to herself. Harrison had to reach for her hand, urging her to calm down. 

“I really love her,” Tom whispered. That left a slap in the face. 

It was a cold Saturday afternoon and it has been raining almost all day. It was one of the rare weekends that you weren’t really occupied to do anything other than to lay on your couch and consume a copious amount of entertainment.

Despite the spitting rain, you actually want to head out this time. Being confined to your desk and the university was torture especially since you couldn’t do anything about it—the four of you were graduating this year, no one could afford to slack off. 

You and Tom were cuddled against the sofa— Tom was busy watching something on TV while you were busy scrolling on your phone. 

“Hey, Tom?” 

“Yes, my sweet girl?” 

“Do you want to go downtown?” You asked, looking at your phone as you read the details of an event happening this weekend.

“Right now?”

“Mhm,” you hummed. “There’s a book fair being held at the local theatre.” You rested your chin on top of his chest and gave him a pout. You were getting sick of being cooped up between your study table and the library. This book fair was a change of scenery and it’s definitely right up your alley.

“But it’s raining, darling” Tom tried to say in the softest way possible. It’s not exactly up in Tom’s interests though.

“I know,” You sighed “I guess I’m just getting sick of this place.”

“You’re getting sick of me?” Tom asked with a huge pout. He was kidding of course. 

“I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of you, Tom.” You chuckled softly. 

“Okay,” He hummed, pulling you closer to him—if that was even possible. “Then can we stay like this for a while?” 

“Anything for you, angel.” You whispered as you closed the details about the local book fair. Maybe next time. 

Soon after Tom left, Maia pulled you to her side and asked, “You okay, babe?” 

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” You feigned innocence. It was clear as day that you weren’t okay, your friends knew that. 

Knowing that you weren’t going to budge, Maia walked towards the kitchen and brought out a bottle of wine from the fridge. 

Harrison raised an eyebrow at her and asked, “When did you manage to put that in the fridge?” All of you had been occupied with grabbing boxes that there was no way that Maia had the time to put wine in the fridge, let alone obtain them from somewhere.

“It was supposed to be a celebratory drink for Y/N’s new place,” Maia replied as she set the wine and three various mugs on the coffee table. “Obviously, that’s not happening now.” Drinking wine using the oddly designed mugs you collected over the years was a cry for help. 

“It’s 4 pm, Mai.” You pointed out as you stared at the white LED clock that you bought off Amazon—another impulse purchase enabled from scrolling on Pinterest for way too long. “We haven’t even had lunch yet.” 

“Oh please,” Maia snorted “If there’s one thing that I’ve picked up from university, it’s drinking with little to no food consumption.” 

“And if there’s one thing that I’ve picked up from university, it’s cancelling all of my plans for the entire day because I have to tend your hungover-self, Mai,” Harrison remarked as he grabbed the bottle and placed it back on the fridge. “I’m ordering food and no one’s drinking until everyone has finished a meal.” 

You heard Maia mutter a string of curses but most especially the part that she said, “This is not the version of daddy that I envisioned Harrison to be.” 

All of a sudden Maia’s idea of binge drinking doesn’t seem like a bad idea, you thought. 

Turns out Harrison had no intention of letting any of you drink. He was pretty adamant about not having to babysit two drunk messes in one night. 

“As if babysitting one isn’t enough,” You recalled Harrison say. He was obviously pertaining to Maia, in which she just huffed the entire time. You often wondered if Maia and Harrison noticed the obvious tension between them, because personally you found it endearing. It was no question that they were meant for each other. 

“Y/N, you still haven’t told us whatever happened between you and Tom.” Maia suddenly pointed out. You, Maia, and Harrison were still in the living room, silently watching TV. 

You were actively avoiding this conversation for the longest time as you haven’t told anyone about it, and based by the curious faces of your friends, you figured that Tom didn’t tell anyone about it either. You’re still not sure whether that’s a relief or not.  

“There’s nothing to talk about.” You mumbled. It’s not like you were lying, there really was barely anything to talk about. Heck—You and Tom never got to talk about it properly either. 

“We see the way you look at him, Y/N.” Harrison replied softly. “I think there is something.” 

“Look—” Maia sat up properly “I know you’re not really vocal about your feelings, but the fact that you’ve never talked nor showed any emotion about your breakup terrifies me, babe.” Maia’s tone was laced with concern. 

“I remember the day you told us about it too,” Harrison couldn’t hide his concern too “We were having brunch together at our usual diner and half-way through our meal, you promptly said “We broke up” when Maia asked where Tom was,” Harrison recalled it like it was a fever dream. He and Maia had already expected that you weren’t going to tell them about the breakup when it just happened. However, it baffles them that it’s been over a year since you and Tom broke up, and not one word has been said about it. 

It was silent for a while, except for Criminal Minds that was playing on the TV. You blankly stared at the screen, hoping that you’d catch whatever the agents were saying. It was impossible, especially when all your mind could focus on was the recollection of the day Tom knocked on your door at 1 am to breakup.  

You were relatively busy that day from volunteer work, so you haven’t seen any of your friends the entire day—or Tom for that matter. Actually, you haven’t seen Tom in a few days. He would send texts periodically throughout the day but they were always short and most of the time, you always forget to reply. 

You figured Tom was busy with his own thing and both of you established early on in your relationship that texting—or lack thereof— shouldn’t account to your relationship, especially since both of you are equally bad at it. 

You didn’t think any of it since you were bound to see your boyfriend and your friends tomorrow for brunch anyway. He will have your undivided attention by then. 

So imagine your surprise when you heard a soft knock from your door at 1 am, only to find Tom in disarray. His eyes were bloodshot red, tears falling down his face. His messy curls were masked under the hood from his jumper. 

At first you were in panic, you thought that something terrible had happened to any of your friends—his family even. 

But as soon as Tom dropped to his knees and whispered, “I’m sorry,” you had a clear idea what was bound to happen next. 

It’s been silent for a while. The door was still open and Tom sat out in the hall with his back leaning against your wall. You did the same thing except you were on the other side of the wall that Tom was leaning on. 

You two were close enough to the door frame that you could hear each other, actually facing each other was a whole other thing. Tears kept streaming down your face as you kept your eyes closed and rested your head against the wall. 

At some point in your relationship, you prepared yourself in case this happened— that you would accept whatever happens between you and Tom. You didn’t exactly anticipate that it would happen so soon. 

“Was there someone else?” You asked quietly. It was the first time you spoke after Tom dropped to his knees. You hoped there wasn’t. In fact, you silently begged to yourself that there wasn’t someone else, because you knew that you couldn’t handle that. 

“No, no—of course not.” Tom immediately answers.”I could never do that to you.” 

It was silent again. You were starting to feel numb—you tried your best to gather your thoughts and forced words out of your mouth, but you couldn’t. 

“Are we not worth fighting anymore?” You practically whispered. It was a gamble— you weren’t exactly sure if Tom had heard it and you don’t have enough strength to ask it again. 

“Y/N,” Tom sniffled. “You can’t say that.” He placed his hand on top of yours. You had your hand resting on the floor and you didn’t exactly notice that it served as an invitation for Tom hold it again. 

You love Tom with all your heart. He kept dismissing it but Tom made you a better person. He made you feel like love can be expressed through different forms of things—not just words.

You loved him by exclusively making time for him. You went on museum dates where he would make cheesy remarks, saying that you’re the most remarkable piece of art in the entire place. You went on dates to watch football games—you never understood it but Tom was happy, so you were happy.

You loved him through your touch. You would often massage his back because he had been tirelessly working himself to the core. He didn’t ask for it but you knew it would make him feel better. Your touch didn’t have to be intimate—though you expressed it through that way too

You loved him through mindless actions. Almost every time you would stop by at the local cafe to grab yourself some coffee, you would always recite Tom’s favourite order on autopilot. 

You loved him through silence. Study dates were gems for you. Even if you didn’t talk for the entirety of it and even if you were the only one who studied for the most part and Tom was just playing on his phone, having Tom beside you was enough.

You loved him so much that it pains you to think that maybe you weren’t enough for him. 

“I don’t think I can fight for someone who doesn’t even want to,” You muttered bitterly. “Just answer the question, Tom.” 

He didn’t answer. All you could hear were the silent sobs that you two were trying to hold back. At this point, you knew you wouldn’t look at Tom. Your heart wouldn’t take it—it will crush you. 

“Are you not happy anymore?” Your voice cracked as you broke into a sob.

“Y/N—“ Tom squeezed your hand even more. You’re going to miss it, but you had to let go. 

“Tom, if I’m standing in the way of your happiness then we should end this.” You cleared your throat and pulled your hand away. There’s a ghostly feeling that still lingered from Tom’s touch. 

“Please, Y/N, let me explain—“ 

“It’s okay, Tom.” You whispered. “I understand.” 

“You know I love you, Y/N.” 

“I love you too, Tom.” 

“But—“ 

“But maybe it’s best if we end it, I know. I got it.” You let out a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down from crying. “Maybe it’s better if we stayed as friends.” Maybe it’s better to realize that whatever you and Tom had were too good to be true—that your love will never compare to the love he deserves. 

“Do you want the truth?” You asked your friends, with tears forming in your eyes. You can’t even decipher how they looked at you because of the tears clouding your vision. 

Were they looking at you in pity? Empathy? Sadness? 

“The truth is—I’m mad.” You gritted the words through your teeth. This was the first time your friends had seen you like this. All of the pent-up sadness, aggression, and hurt you felt was starting to get the best of you. 

“I’m angry. I’m hurt.” You snarled, furiously wiping the tears from your face. “I’m angry at the fact that I can’t seem to be genuinely happy for Tom. I’m hurt at the idea he seems to be a better boyfriend for Nadine, that he constantly makes an effort for her.”

“I don’t even know if he even loved me the way that I loved him,” Your voice became quiet “and it’s selfish for me to think that way because I never fought for it—for us. That’s enough reason to keep me up at night.” 

That’s enough reason for you to wonder if you’ll be capable of loving someone so deeply again. 

PERMANENT TAGLIST: 

@quaksonhehe @dark-infernal-instruments @trustfundparker @emsma11 @tomshufflepuff @spider-babe @goodgirlgonetom @tabi-toast​ 

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough