#so it’s one of those things where i’ve lost all perspective on it

[strangeandoff-putting]

why I'm happysad that they let Numa be the narrator in Society of the Snow.

So if you, like me, have been more than a little obsessed with the story of Uruguayan Air Force Flight 571 for a very, very long time, your stomach probably dropped like mine did when the narrator introduced himself as Numa Turcatti. (My immediate thought was, "why would you do this to us?!") If you went in blind, I feel for you!

But while the film gave us a version of Numa, since it's from his perspective what it doesn't really give us is the group's perspective on him. He comes across a bit like an outsider, and although, yes, his only surviving friend was Pancho Delgado, he wasn’t an outsider for long at all. On the contrary. So, here are a few excerpts from the books that tell you more about what he was like and how much they all loved him, because I feel like that’s important.

From Alive, Piers Paul Read:

Next to Parrado, Numa Turcatti was the most generally beloved of the boys. [...] Since he had known few of the boys before leaving Montevideo, it was proof of his strength, simplicity and complete lack of malice that he became so loved and respected by them.

On celebrating Numa's birthday while trapped under the avalanche:

The boys gave him an extra cigarette and made a birthday cake out of snow. [...] Many would have liked to give him a better time on his birthday, but instead it was he who improved their spirits. "We have survived the worst," he said. "From now on, things can only get better."

From Society of the Snow, Pablo Vierci:

‘When I talk about Numa, I can’t help but cry,’ says Coche Inciarte. ‘He’s the best person I’ve ever met in my life. However tenderly I cared for those who were losing heart, Numa did it much better because he never got tired. He was constantly aware of everyone else’s distress. He radiated peace, he never gave up, and when he came near me, I felt like Jesus Christ himself was among us, with such mercy and compassion in his eyes. I don’t know where he got his strength.’ ‘I could never imagine him living in everyday life, because I met him and I loved him in that torment of the Andes,’ says Coche. ‘He had a hard time eating, like I did. We ate the bare minimum in order to survive. I lost one hundred pounds, he lost more. And just like me, his leg became infected after the avalanche. We operated on our legs together with a razor blade. But he deteriorated more quickly than I did, because he had given so much more; he had been too generous.’

Moncho Sabella:

Numa taught us about the anonymous heroism of giving more of himself to others than he reserved for himself. In that balance between solidarity and selfishness, which decided whether you lived or died, he tilted the balance in favour of the others to the detriment of himself. [...] And when the avalanche came and covered the plane, the one who worked the hardest, the one who removed the most snow so that we could come back to life, was Numa. Again, he was exceeding his own limits. [...] In the end, his immune system was so devastated that he got one infection after another. We gave him antibiotics and the doctors on the mountain attended to him every day, but finally he left us. And with him, we all died a little more.

Gustavo Zerbino:

I always remember Numa up there, full of despair, when he told us that he would rather die watching the sky, walking, instead of ending life immobilised in a cave of broken metal. For that reason, after the avalanche, he kept digging and removing snow without rest until he burned himself out with exhaustion. He always thought that his time had come but he wanted to work until the final moment, doing whatever he could to help. I cared for him all those days; I saw how he was hurried to the brink of death, with no defences, getting one infection after another. I went up to him and first I gave him a kiss on the cheek to greet him and asked him how he was doing. He just stared at me with a kind of infinite peace. He never complained. But Numa was quickly deteriorating: from that physical strength and vigour he had had at the beginning, he finished as a skeletal dying boy. He held on to his characteristic qualities until the end though. He was that same stoic guy when he was strong and when he was wasting away.

‘Gustavo Zerbino didn’t tell us the whole truth [about the expedition] because he didn’t want us to be discouraged. When I asked Numa about it, he couldn’t lie and he told me: “As far as we went, all you could see were more mountains.” But even so, he always wanted to be an expeditionary. “I want to go,” he told me, even though I knew at once he could never go, he was too exhausted and too hurt.’ So Numa approached Daniel Fernández, knowing that he had influence over the others, and he tried to convince him: ‘I can do it, Daniel, please believe me. I can do it.’ Daniel recalls, ‘When I told him that his injury made it impossible, he started working even harder than ever, like a bull, shovelling snow to unbury the plane after the avalanche to show that yes, he could do it.’

Finally, from Alive, after Numa died:

On this particular afternoon, Javier Methol lay at the back of the plane. "Be careful," he said to Coche as he rose and stepped over Numa's body. "Be careful not to step on Numa." "But Numa's dead," said Parrado. Javier had not realised what had happened, and now that he understood his spirits dropped completely. He wept as he had wept at the death of Liliana, for he had grown to love the shy and simple Numa Turcatti as though he were his brother or son.

I'm not sure the Numa we see in the film is quite the same person that he actually was on that mountain, but I'm so, so glad that he got a voice. He fought so hard for them all.

So, yeah. In the immortal words of Jake Peralta,

[ghostinthegallery]

So a thing I’ve noticed about necron books…

I do not think it is controversial to say that Robert Rath and Nate Crowley really defined how a lot of us (especially me) view necrons in modern 40k lore. They did so much heavy lifting to take the faction that was literally just Terminator ripoff (aka Tyranids but worse) and make them into characters.

But they did it in such different and almost contradictory ways. And I think it boils down to this:

Rath's necrons are gods who were once mortal. Crowley's necrons are mortals forced to become gods.

(disclaimer: I don't think one author is "more correct" or whatever. Different characters experience the universe in different ways, embrace a little subjectivity does objective truth even exist?)

Let's start with Crowley. In both Severed and Twice Dead King, memories and bodies are defining features of their narratives. Oltyx can and does revisit his memories at will (not without consequence get your pins out and put em in). He is haunted by disphorakh, this feeling that he should have an organic body but does not and that this disconnect is actually killing him. The flayed ones' whole existence is steeped (literally) in flesh and blood and disphoria.

On the slightly less extreme end, in Severed Obyron remembers the flesh times vividly: the battles, the people, who and what he's lost. They are fighting the manifestation of what Obyron fears becoming: a mindless machine, “severed” from his past experiences. And the ultimate stakes in a Crowley book? Loss of memory. Loss of self. Obyron and Oltyx pay this price throughout their stories, and it eats away at them. Necrodermis makes their physical selves immortal, but their minds? Just as mortal as ever. If not even more so. The people they are were formed in flesh times, and all immortality does is wear away at them as they desperately try to cope.

Robert Rath's necrons? Not so much. Sure, Trazyn and Orikan angst about their loss of memory, but the memories of flesh for them are so distant and unreliable that they could not build their personalities around them even if they wanted to. Trazyn's link to the past is external: objects he has collected. Orikan... what memories he has of his past are fuzzy and in some cases straight up manipulated. That's distressing, but not enough to totally rock his sense of self. That’s a stark contrast to how Crowley’s necrons operate.

We all know the iconic Old Man Fight from Infinite and the Divine. Where Rath describes Trazyn and Orikan fighting and points out how stupid it would be back in the flesh times? Just two nerds hitting each other with canes. Well the flip side of that is that what is actually happening is NOT two nerds slapping each other but two immortals with incomprehensible power battling on a scale mortals cannot process.

Rath’s necrons operate on scales mortals barely understand. Oh, the Greek gods destroyed one city? Troy took em ten years? Trazyn and Orikan wiped out a planet's population by accident. And they are both so divorced from mortality that they don't care. Sheesh, Trazyn is so alienated from the idea of a body that in War in the Museum he informs a woman that he’s filled her up with her own dead sisters organs and I legit believe he thought this would make her feel better.

I adore both approaches! The differences in character and perspective, how they relate to the world and themselves. Yes, it creates contradictions in the lore (like why doesn’t Trazyn lose his shit knowing people like Zahndrekh or Oltyx just…remember necrontyr society perfectly clearly) but I aggressively do not care. I love the varying explorations or power, the nature of the self, the truth that none of these people have survived immortality “in tact.” Those are exactly the things that make necrons my favorite 40k faction. Hell, one of my favorite sci if aliens ever. Because both approaches are haunting and hilarious and poignant and so damn cool.

So…uh…thanks guys. Yeah.

[ilynpilled]

The thing about the hand loss and how people attach things behind it like “it was as a result of Jaime’s arrogance,” or “he lost it because he saved Brienne from rape,” is that neither is true to what actually happens in the text. Those actions still hold meaning, sure, but the chop itself is also independent to it all (the maiming is symbolically karmic in a lot of ways as it is tied to his greatest sins, but that is not what i am talking about). The capture itself is different, but the right hand and his fate was doomed the moment he landed in Hoat’s hands for reasons out of his control. What is so good about it is that the hand chop is not really about Jaime as a human being (which makes it causing one of the biggest existential crises in the series all the more interesting), and more about Jaime as a token. Ironically, his status and relationship to his father is what ends up dehumanizing him entirely. There are so many things going on outside of Jaime. He is an integral political piece, every side is scrambling for him for different reasons, and he is fully treated as such in the Riverlands.

Hoat had his own motivation, that is much bigger than Jaime, due to his previous betrayal of Tywin, which turned into a death sentence following the results of Blackwater. As Roose implies throughout the dinner conversation, Jaime’s hand chop was, above all else, the result of Tywin and the ruthless foundation of much of his authority (the Reynes and Tarbecks are brought up again). And what I like about it, other than the emphasis on the players constantly making moves solely for their own benefit in war while everyone else suffers the consequences, is that it does address and criticize the Lannister method a whole lot. The hand chop almost feels less karmic for Jaime himself than it does for Tywin. It is another reason that I find the perspective that these books were heralding this kind of sociopathic ruthlessness as competent and uber effective while completely condemning the relatively more “moral” Starks so funny. Like without even getting into where we are headed in the aftermath of the WoT5K, the holes within the “Tywin method” are already being explored. And the results are creeping towards Tywin himself, invading his family, because it is his very heir that suffers directly from it. The more we move along in the story the more the distance lessens between him and his putrid actions to cement his authority and power. “I’ve lost a hand, a father, a son, a sister, and a lover, and soon enough I will lose a brother. And yet they keep telling me House Lannister won this war.” is a Tywin/House Lannister thesis when it comes to the events of ASoS. For a start, he is the one who brought in the Bloody Mummers. The cruelty he unleashes on the smallfolk ends up coming back to him directly through his heir being the one experiencing it full force. There is the layer of loyalty vs utilizing sellswords, which is one way the conflicting sides in the war foil each other, and it is a root cause of the betrayal to begin with. If you use these men, you can end up suffering the consequences yourself, loyalty can only be bought if you remain the highest bidder. Relying on greed is fragile. Then, the part that Jaime is repeatedly faced with throughout his narrative: fear ≠ trust.

Hoat is smart enough to realize by now that his betrayal will not be pardoned by Tywin. Jaime’s offer means nothing in terms of his safety. He is aware of his low status and the meaning of his action to Tywin. That is what truly dooms Jaime and his hand. Hoat needed that token, and he needed to secure a path for himself (without losing his token along the way to Roose) to the Karstarks. He made sure that he brought Roose down with him, and put him in a difficult situation. Sure, Jaime’s skill itself is a huge threat and liability, but that is not the primary motivator. It is his sole ticket to safety from Tywin’s ruthlessness.

Then the goat gets outsmarted by Roose, and Jaime catches on to that part, so Hoat does take the L ultimately I fear, but these layers remain and it adds a lot. I also like how in ASoS, Jaime’s status is constantly fluctuating between dooming him and saving him. It often depends on how clever he is being in the moment.

[kestalsblog]

Thoughts on "Loser, Baby" Song

From what I’ve seen, viewers are extremely divided on the impact of the song “Loser, Baby” in the fourth episode of Hazbin Hotel. I’ve decided to share my own thoughts on the sequence below. Warning that this is a long post, and if you are triggered and upset by the song and/or episode, I encourage you not to read. I understand and respect any individual analysis, and if you were hurt by the song in any way, you are 100% valid. Others who feel differently are also valid. All I ask for is that same respect.

I don’t believe the only people qualified to speak on media are those who can relate to it, but I feel, given the conversation surrounding the episode, I should briefly mention my own background, so people don’t assume I am trying to speak on behalf of other survivors here. As a preface, I was in a severely abusive long-term relationship, so I can understand multiple perspectives here.

First, since Husk is a gambler, it’s safe to read the song as an extended metaphor for gambling too, in which case “loser” takes on the literal meaning– someone who has lost the game. Husk reminds Angel that many of us are dealt the shitty hand in life, and that the best way to get through the game is simply to go together. That’s probably the simplest positive analysis, but I think it's important to keep in mind throughout the whole song so that we don't read "loser" only as "failure" or "scum of society."

The most understandable criticism, though, is that the piece is blaming victims by attacking them and trivializing their experiences. I’m the most on the side of this argument at the words “whiny bitch,” which feel like an odd choice considering Husk has been nudging Angel to open up throughout the entire episode. It’s not my favorite line, but I can handle it only if we read the song as Husk actually singing to himself and calling himself these names as a means for Angel to see that he feels the same.

I do have some fondness for the song’s language as it continues, though. Excuse me for referencing my own personal experience here, but it’s relevant to my understanding.

Eventually in my healing journey, I realized writing and speaking affirmations to myself like “you’ll get better soon!” and “time heals everything!” were making me feel worse and frustrated. I felt like I was just waiting around for this magical deadline when I would “improve” or “recover,” and when that didn’t happen, I felt terrible about myself because I felt like a failure on top of damaged goods. I was letting myself down.

I reached a cathartic moment one day when I admitted to myself, “Maybe things are never going to get better, and I am always going to feel ruined by this.” Confessing this possibility allowed me to realize that, despite the fact that I am a “loser” in that I lost time, innocence, my old sense of security, and my carefree nature from before, I can still experience meaningful and even joyful moments in this new, altered condition.

At one point in the sequence, lots of flashing signs point terrible, degrading names at Husk and Angel. I can see why this might be upsetting to some viewers who are adamant that the characters do NOT represent those labels, but there is an obvious alternate reading that these are just the names both have assigned themselves over the years. By putting them bright and on display, they can face their self-hatred directly and reclaim their honest selves. (Let me pause here to say it's also crucial to remember Husk is not directly calling Angel any of these names). The solo lights then disappear and are replaced first with the soft blue raindrops moment where Husk shields Angel with the umbrella, and finally with the single LOSER where they both can dance together.

Most importantly, the lyrics gesture toward surprisingly affirmative by the song’s conclusion: “Eat shit together, things will turn out differently / It’s time to lose your self-loathing / Excuse yourself, let hope in, baby / Play your card, be who you are.”

Husk isn’t disregarding the possibility of hope, even in the gutter for the losers. In fact, he directly welcomes the possibility that the game can change with company, and self-hatred won’t be beneficial toward supporting that change. Even if we are dealt the losing hand, he reminds us the game is still worth playing. He reminds Angel again and again that it's okay to be who he is. And now "loser" assumes a new connotation - losing the negativity, the hatred, the things that are holding them back.

Significantly, after this point, no more self-negatives are even spoken, not even "loser" again because Husk and Angel are interrupted before the crucial word “me” when they sing that final line “loser just like—” Any connection to the self now has been effectively erased, reminding us that Angel and Husk may have made poor choices, may have been given crappy cards, but they are not losers in the sense that they are not less of people.

Last, it’s important to remember that the song is not meant to speak for everyone. It can't. If we’re going to be strict about it, it’s not for any survivors except Angel, and as we can see by his shifting mood, it certainly helps him feel better in the moment. The whole episode has been about Husk trying to encourage him to “break down his walls” and stop feigning the super inflated ego act he typically puts on, so, in one way, it becomes a “let’s get Angel past the self-loathing that’s preventing him from being his real self so we can move on to something more genuine and happier together" tactic.

I know it’s hard to separate our lived experiences from media. Judging from the disparity in opinions I’ve read from survivors on the song, I’d say it’s been therapeutic for just as many as it’s been damaging.

Before I conclude, it's worth mentioning I also have my own critiques of the song. I mentioned one with the word “whiny.” Another potential issue is the difference between Angel and Husk’s problems. I’m not trying to minimize gambling addictions by any means, but I know many of us feel that Husk’s loss of a cushy social position because of gambling pales against the extreme bodily violence Angel faces. I think it would be odd for Husk not to attempt to comfort Angel in some way, and trying to relate is one of the most common ways of doing so, but I admit that the discrepancy in their situations bugged me throughout the number. Husk reminds Angel he's "not unique" in his problems, which is important for survivors to remember (to know they are not alone), but it might mean a little more coming from someone on a similar playing field. The one redemptive thing I can say here though is that both characters sold their souls to someone with a tyrannical hold over them, and even though we know Alastor isn’t abusing Husk in the same way Val hurts Angel, we have yet to see the connotations of his power within that specific dynamic.

When push comes to shove, the song overall works for me, and I admit I felt seen while watching/listening, which isn't even something I really care about in media, but it was an interesting experience nonetheless. If you felt otherwise, I am sorry, and I encourage you to do your best to separate yourself from the media you consume and remember that every story, every song, is written by flawed people for flawed people. I mean it as fondly as possible, but we're all just losers "living in the same shit sandwich." Nothing will ever perfectly represent or encompass your own experience and healing. Analyze art respectfully for what it is, what it isn't, and what it can be.

What else can you do?

[taylortruther]

I want the entire cardigan demo explained. I still don’t think she had the characters of james, august, and betty in mind when she wrote the song, especially since it’s the first one she worked on with aaron. I’ve always believed that story came later when she and joe wrote betty together, and she changed certain parts of cardigan and august to create a cohesive narrative. ‘Peter leaving Wendy’ and ‘Peter losing Wendy’ are two very different lines, and it makes me think she changed the lyric to the latter to make it fit into the love triangle where betty is more mature than james. ‘I knew I’d wish you would’ve changed your mind?’ ‘I knew you’d haunt all of my what-ifs?’ the original lyrics make it sound like he didn’t want to be with her/changed the ending where they stay together or perhaps where wendy outgrows him by cheating and leaving. saying she knew all of this makes it sound like she’s already experienced all of those emotions upon reflection, and they got back together. she’s imagining what she might think about this situation years down the road as she looks back on how they ultimately couldn’t stay away from each other. ‘I knew you’d miss me once the moment died’ seems to imply he left to be with someone else but realized he’d actually lost ‘the one.’ all of these lyrics add context to ‘your faithless love’s the only hoax I believe in’ and ‘what you did was just as dark.’ granted, I’m not even necessarily saying all of this happened in 2019-20. maybe she was looking back on when they first fell in love. but idk, I feel like we’re missing some information about something major that she felt the need to write about but couldn’t address directly without creating some sort of narrative around it. I guess the main thing that gives me pause is that we SAW them so often in 2018-19, but that logic is so flawed? you don’t actually know what’s going on in their lives even if you make educated guesses. they were insanely private after all. idk idk. thonking

i would really love a deep dive from her for these reasons too! the perspective from which betty is writing is REALLY interesting. like, yeah, why is she reflecting on a teenage moment as an adult? did it happen again? her grieving sounds so PRESENT, not just reflective.

also thank you for thonking as usual.

[sincerely-sofie]

Hi! This may come across as a dumb question, but I wanted to write my own PMD:EoS fic, but I’m kind of lost on how I want to organize my thoughts and the plot. Additionally, I get new ideas and then I end up struggling with what I want to do. How did you organize things for your story?

This isn't a dumb question at all! It's something I've struggled with for a long time as a writer, and I'd be happy to share what I've come up with to solve my fight with story organization! I’ll try to speak coherently, but this is something I’m really passionate about, so I might ramble a bit, haha. Keep in mind that this is what works for me, and what will work for you may be very different. Take from this post what serves you well and ditch the rest :> 

Organizational Tools

You can use pretty much anything to organize your story— I’ve used everything from loose printer paper in storage clipboards to expansive Google Docs that are hundreds of pages long in the past. But what I’ve found that really works for me is an app called Notion. You may have heard of it— it’s really popular with productivity enthusiasts and small business owners, but it works like a dream for organizing creative projects! There’s a bit of a learning curve, but you can find a lot of templates out there for free that work really well if you don’t want to set things up yourself.

This is how my Notion page for TPiaG was set up:

The “Cheat Sheets” dropdown list was full of character sheets, links to Bulbapedia articles I’d refer to while outlining or writing, and also my completed outline. “Fun Stuff” was full of memes and jokes about the characters, an empty page that I’d start filling once I received kind comments on my fic, as well as ideas for additional stories relating to the AU— stuff like oneshots and possible sequels or diverging AUs. Fun fact: this is where I first wrote down my idea for The Present is a Gift: Paradox Edition AU!

“Chapters to Write” and “Chapters I’ve Written” were dropdown lists where I divided my outline into little sub-dropdown lists in “Chapters to Write”, and everytime I wrote a chapter, I would move it over to “Chapters I’ve Written”. Nothing is as reassuring when you’re stuck in the middle of writing a nearly 60k word fanfic as seeing the chapters slowly migrate to the right.

Organizing the Story

Outlining is a big part of my organization process, so I’ll be talking a fair bit about it. The first part of any story is your premise / core idea (it sounds like you’ve already got some of your own, so I won’t discuss coming up with those). The next step is brainstorming what you want to revolve around that premise. I already knew the characters fairly well, so what I did for TPiaG is write out a bunch of ideas for scenes on scraps of notebook paper and start arranging them on a table in different ways. I eventually settled on an order of events (many of which ended up cut for clarity in the actual fic), and then I started structuring them into chapters. 

How I structure chapters is inspired by the Kishotenketsu structure that is used fairly often in Asian storytelling. I divide each chapter into 5 parts: an Introduction that provides a starting point for the chapter, Development that builds on and adds context or tension to the introduction, a Twist that causes a new perspective on either the situation, characters, or something else in the story, a Resolution that helps wrap things up in a satisfying way, and then a Hook that leads the reader to want to read the next chapter. This is a structuring method that works way better for me than the Three Acts or the Hero’s Journey— I prefer the stronger focus on character vs. plot— and so I try to use it as often as possible. Here’s an example from my outline (if you’ve read TPiaG, you may notice some differences between it and the actual published chapters of the fic! It’s chapter 4 instead of chapter 3, for one thing!)

Organizing Characters

I’ll be honest— I didn’t fill out character sheets like I should have for this project. I kind of just went with the flow as I wrote them. Twig and Grovyle are the only characters who got sheets at all, and Grovyle still only got a half of one. However, I do have a blank copy of a character sheet I can share as reference!

I think most of this is pretty self-explanatory— but if anyone wants clarification on anything or what goes into the individual note sections, let me know! This is what the topmost part of Twig’s character sheet bio looks like: 

The Torment of the Human Mind, or: How to Deal with Idea Overload

This is an ongoing struggle for me. I’ve mentioned having ADHD in the past, but it really turns idea generation and shiny object syndrome into a purgatory of unspeakable proportions. Before TPiaG, I had never finished a creative project because I would constantly ping-pong back and forth between newer and funner ideas, inevitably abandoning WIPs, come back to them for a few weeks at a time, and then dart off to the next thing. This feels awful because you never finish anything when you’re stuck in this cycle, and having all those ideas as open tabs in your brain is exhausting. 

My greatest advice for figuring out what you want to do and then doing it? Figure out a fun idea— maybe not the funnest idea, but an idea you enjoy and can create with your current skills and a good helping of hard work— and then commit to it with a story priority hierarchy. Every time you want to work on another idea, you have to work on the idea you committed to first for 30 minutes (or a different block of time, whatever works for you!). After that allotted time is up, you’re free to work on whatever other projects you like— but you have to start at the top of the priority hierarchy. That way, you still get work done on your #1 project, but you’re not restricted to it. 

Alternatively: Write until that priority project is done. You can make notes on ideas, you can make Pinterest boards for them, and you can make playlists— but you can only write for your priority project. I’d recommend doing this with a deadline in mind. Something like Camp NaNoWriMo or a similar month-long challenge. Novelty is an important part of my workflow! I get it. But for some people, bouncing back and forth between ideas is detrimental to their ability to focus / write, and committing to a single project at a time is extremely beneficial. I thought that I was someone who needed total freedom to work on any of my projects, but it turns out that being handcuffed to a project and a word count goal for a month was exactly what I needed to finish my first ever complete manuscript.

Yikes, this was a lot. I hope I answered your question well enough. If not, ask again and give me another shot! I love talking about creativity, and I would be overjoyed to help you create however I can.

[kindlingkeen]

I think something that annoys me the most about quite a few Joker Dies/Jason Comes Home fics is that they think that as soon as the Joker is dead, Jason will stop killing. Like, doesn't matter if he's the one to kill the Joker or not, as long as the Clown dies, that's it, problem solved, Jason can go home with no issue because obviously he has no more reason to kill!

and it always has me ???????????????? the Joker is not the reason Jason kills? the Joker dying takes out a massive threat to the citizens of Gotham and I don't doubt it would make Jason personally feel better just in general, but there are still horrible, horrible people around and doing things that Jason believes means they don't deserve to keep living? Just because the Clown's dead doesn't mean all the other issues Jason deals with as the Red Hood are going to disappear wtf

Anon, I’m so sorry it too me forever to answer this ask!! Tumblr disappeared it from my inbox after I read it initially, and then it just reappeared this morning! I hope you’re still around to see this.

That narrative has me going ???????? right along with you. I don’t understand it. I’ve thought about it a lot and the best I can come up with is that sometimes authors are more interested in telling a story about Jason reintegrating with the family than they are in being true to Jason’s character. Because when you think about everything Jason’s been through, his motivations and perspective, the choices he’s made, it’s actually really hard to make him play happy house with the bats and keep his character authentic. If you’re out there in the void reading this and feel differently, reblog or leave a comment with your thoughts, I’d really like to hear them.

As I see it, here are two pieces to your ask: 1) Joker dying. 2) Jason killing.

First, Joker. Honestly, imo, focusing on the Joker dying completely misses the point. Canonically, if Jason really wanted Joker dead above all else, he could have killed him in Lost Days. He could have shot him in the face the first time he saw him in UtRH. It’s not about Joker. It’s about Bruce. Bruce’s choices, Bruce’s actions, Bruce’s feelings (or lack thereof). Taking it one step further, I actually think that deep down there’s a part of Jason that doesn’t want the Joker dead. Because once he is, that’s it. The possibility of Bruce making things right (right in Jason’s eyes, at least) is gone forever.

Second, Jason killing. I think Jason kills because, at his core, his priority is victims. He’s willing to take that final step because he sees it as necessary for existing victims and to prevent future victims in the making. I think it’s possible to put Jay in a scenario where he chooses not to kill for other reasons. But it’s not something he’s ever going to repent for, it’s not a ‘suddenly seeing the light’ sort of situation. I think these two panels from Detective Comics #975 are a good example of that. Although I take issue with the ‘I still have enough respect for this place’ line.

So, yeah, those are some of my thoughts on Jason, the Joker, and the Red Hood’s lethality. I’m still getting the hang of these meta rambles. Hopefully that was coherent enough, lol.

Thanks so much for the ask, anon! I really enjoyed thinking this through! 💙

[kess-in-the-perthchimzone]

Kang learning to fight for Sailom

If Kang feels this way, why was he such a dick to Sailom? I saw this question over and over again after last week.

To answer it, it’s important to look at their dynamic before their breakup.

Before they ever started dating — before they were even friends — Kang first noticed Sailom because he was willing to fight back. He looked Kang dead in the eye and he always found a way to one up him:

Then, once they grew closer Sailom consistently held Kang accountable and pushed him to be a better person:

But from the moment Saifah confesses, Sailom completely shuts down. He doesn’t protest when Kang walks away from him. He doesn’t knock on Kang’s door. He ‘plays’ along with letting Kang buy him in the escort scene. As I’ve mentioned before, Sailom had believed all along that that they were always going to come to an end, and so he accepts Kang breaking up with him as his lot in life. Sailom has never gotten to have nice things. Why would Kang be different?

Hear me when I say I’m not trying to argue that one of them is right or wrong — they represent two sides of a relationship with two very different perspectives. Even though I sympathize deeply with them both, I’m trying to show Kang’s side for the purpose of this essay because his is more confusing.

From Kang’s perspective, this is Sailom giving up on them. Kang initially pushed him away in a mess of grief and fear and anger. While he immediately regretted it, though, Sailom hasn’t said or done a single thing to indicate he cares they’re over. He hasn’t argued, he hasn’t begged, he hasn’t tried to stay. Where Sailom might have thought it was appropriate to leave the umbrella, it must have felt like a very definitive action to Kang.

Although Sailom cried in the escort scene, those tears could arguably be explained by the trauma of his experience. Kang wouldn’t have believed they were for their lost relationship (as much as it felt like it to us the viewer, seeing them hug).

So coming into episode 11, Kang feels deeply rejected. He feels like Sailom never needed him the way Kang did Sailom. He’s convinced himself Sailom doesn’t care. Which means Kang is frustrated and hurt.

@thirstkanaphan speculates that this is actually Kang trying to (badly) warn Sailom off escorting, which I think is very believable. These are bluntly delivered words that mask a much deeper concern.

@criticallyobs also adds that this is very believably Kang speaking to himself (“I won’t LET myself be concerned”; which, sure buddy, good luck with that).

Then, what’s the much worse scene — taking back the pin, makes even more sense to me. Because at first Kang is quiet. He’s been staring at Sailom with barely concealed longing all day.

He looks exactly like he did in episode four — like all he needs is a moment alone with Sailom in the bathroom to crack.

But instead of falling into his arms, Sailom thanks him. I love this gifset from @kangsailomthat shows his complete sincerity.

This is indisputably a farewell. This is a “we’re never going to see each other again”.

Kang is reacting to what he sees as Sailom permanently trying to leave his life. (Again, badly)

@thirstkanaphan also points out that this is (in Kang’s mind) his last chance to touch Sailom. In that scene you can see he’s fidgeting. His arms had been moving even before that. Taking off the pin was a discrete action he could take that gave him an excuse to physically touch Sailom.

Neither of them want this separation! Sailom is reacting to what he thinks Kang wants or needs. And Kang is taking the lead — as he does in VIRTUALLY ALL OTHER ASPECTS OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP — from Sailom. He is hearing and seeing that Sailom is seemingly fine with their breakup.

But Kang doesn’t want to be apart. He has not wanted to be apart since immediately after the haze of grief wore off after learning Saifah confessed. Kang either starts (or more likely continues, given how quickly he got to Sailom’s side after Sailom called him) following him. He keeps watching Sailom, making sure Sailom is okay. Which is how he’s able to save Sailom from the shooting.

From afar, Kang likely saw Sailom looking fine. Sailom smiles at multiple times when talking to his boss and Name. Sailom puts on a brave face with every single person he interacts with. The only time he shows a crack in the facade is when he’s hidden inside a car.

Seeing Sailom cry in the shower completely upends everything Kang has been telling himself. He sees first-hand how much their breakup has been tearing Sailom apart. He understands exactly how lost Sailom has been without him.

While up to this point, Kang has been being an ass — in part in the hope of getting Sailom to push back; to fight for them — in the shower he realizes that in their relationship he needs to be the one to take the lead. Whereas Sailom will push him in other aspects in his life, Kang has to be the one to fight for the two of them.

He recognizes in that moment that he needs to convince Sailom how serious he is about them. And then he resolves himself to continue protecting Sailom and their love from them on. (Demonstrated beautifully in this gifset by @tirpse)

[literary-illuminati]

Book Review 26 – Pale Lights by ErraticErrata

Okay technically this is a web serial, not a book – you can find it here – but a) it’s divided into ‘books’ and the first one recently finished, b) I’ve read like 350,000 words of it at this point and c) I want to talk about it a bit.

So, Pale Lights is a fantasy adventure story, set in a world where some prehistoric cataclysm left humanity living in a truly vast (multi-continental) cavern beneath the earth, full of old gods and devils and a darkness that will sink into you if you go too long without exposing yourself to the Glare of light spilling down from various openings in the firmament (and potentially stored in a variety of magic devices). It stars Tristain, a conman and gutter rat who accidentally killed the wrong man, and Angharad, a minor noblewoman fleeing assassins after the slaughter of her family, as they flee their enemies into the theoretical safety of the Watch, a sovereign military order that might get you killed hunting down rogue devils but is more than powerful enough to offer amnesty to all its recruits and force everyone else to go along with it. Specifically they both try to join through the fastest and most guaranteed method there is – survive and pass the trials on the Dominion of Lost Things, and your spot among their ranks is totally assured.

As you might expect, this doesn’t exactly go according to plan for either of them.

The plot’s sufficiently full of twists and detours that I’m not going to bother trying to give any sort of detailed synopsis, but one incredibly endearing thing about the whole serial is that it’s structured around these three deadly trials intended to test one’s mettle and worthiness, and absolutely none of them go according to plan. Which, speaking as someone who is generally left pretty annoyed by stories where the entire plot is ‘and then the protagonist surpassed the entirely artifical problems an outside authority put in front of them, meeting expectations perfectly!’, I really did greatly enjoy.

The plot was also just satisfyingly and surprisingly brutal – EE’s previous gargantuan serial was explicitly (though increasingly theoretically as it went on) YA, and made plot armour an explicit part of the setting’s metaphysics. Pale Light is...very much that. There were several points where it felt like at least one named, fleshed out character with their own arc was dying horribly every chapter. Bracing! Relatedly, and necessary for that, the cast is big, into the dozens of fleshed out characters the plot leaves behind and goes back to whenever they’re relevant or on screen again. Which is the sort of indulgence you can get away with in a web serial. (I’ve actually seen a lot of people complain that the cast was too large or hard to keep to track of. Those people are weak.)

Speaking of characters – the supporting cast is great, and a decent number of them are well-drawn and earnestly compelling, but a story like this really lives or dies on the strength of its protagonists. And I’d say Pale Lights passes that test with flying colours – Tristain and Angharad are both more than strong enough to carry a story on their own, but jumping between them lets the story have a lot of fun with their biases and what they assume or overlook, and their (very different and often wildly misinformed) perspectives on each other, their goals, and the supporting cast are just a joy. EE’s always had a real talent for internal monologue and character voice (even in my least-favorite bits of A Practical Guide to Evil, Cat’s perspective was a consistent delight), and being able to consistently jump between and develop two here really makes them shine.

The fact that they’re both a) actually adults, b) morally dubious and c) incredibly devoted to a particular sense of morality and ethics that’s minimum 30 degrees off anything conventionally ‘good’ helps a lot, too. Tristain my beloved shameless vendetta-obsessed will-knife-anyone-but-his-closest-friends-without-a-second-thought gutter rat.

It’s actually really quite interesting how, despite one being a chivalry-obsessed bravo whose word is her bond and so finesses her oaths and promises like a mobbed up lawyer and the other being a street criminal second story man with a sideline in poisons, they’re both really incredibly defined by a fixation on loyalty and vengeance.

The setting is interesting, though the narrative does sometimes feel a bit like it’s straining under the weight of all the weirdness piled onto it, with the whole ‘everyone’s underground and 90% of light is artificial’ thing. The various gods are all interestingly eldritch, especially Tristain and Angharad’s patrons (Fortuna probably my third favourite character in the whole thing overall), the devils and lemures and monsters are all fucked up and horrifying in a really fun way, and the magic is appropriately occult-seeming.

I’m not sure if it’s good or bad, exactly, but I do find the utter shamelessness with which EE copies real world cultures to create fantasy counterparts kind of endearing? I really can’t overstate how incredibly obvious it is that, like, ‘this empire is based on the Aztecs. They border this feudal mess based on India, and this league of Republics based on China. The main city the story launched from is Venice. The big creepy cursed academy is called the Scholomance. The treaty with the devils binding them not to eat people is called the Iscariot Accord. Die mad about it.” Gives the whole thing a real tabletop RPG setting vibe, honestly.

Anyway, can’t really say to what degree my attachment to this was built from the Stockholm Syndrome of following it week-to-week, but probably one of my favourite stories read this year, and eagerly looking forward to book 2.

[ailani-reillata]

Ailani’s Story and the Indigenous Experience

Since it’s Ailani’s second anniversary tomorrow, I really wanted to take some time to discuss some of the themes and ideas behind her story.

I have a lot of things I want to discuss, but in this post, I want to talk about Ailani’s story as seen through an Indigenous lens. Later, I want to discuss the very specific Kānaka Maoli themes in her story, but right now, I want to cover the overall theme of Indigenous identity and how it applies to the story I’m telling. 

A lot of the issues/things I will be discussing in this post impact other communities as well, but as an Indigenous person discussing my Indigenous character, I’ll be mainly referring to these things through an Indigenous lens and perspective. 

I’ve talked endlessly about how Ailani’s story is a love letter to grief and a story of mental health, but it’s also always been a cultural outlet for me. Every aspect of her life has multiple meanings and metaphors, but right now, I want to talk about my Indigenous perspective and how that impacted the story I wrote.

Ailani’s story begins before she is born. It begins on Mandalore, her Father’s homeworld. Shortly after her parents get married, the planet is thrown into Civil War due to Republic interference and clan infighting. Ailani’s Father and his clan are forcibly removed from Mandalore after the Republic and the Jedi Order assist the New Mandalorian clan and help install a new government. Her Father is then separated by the fragmented remains of his clan and moves to Naboo. His wife insists that he will have a better life there and have better opportunities. But he is alone and isolated. No one around speaks his language, no one eats the same kind of food or wears the same kind of clothes. He is entirely alone culturally. Until Ailani is born, he is the only Mandalorian for light years. 

This story of forcible displacement, cultural isolation, and government interference shapes Ailani’s entire life, and this story is also very well known to many Indigenous communities. It’s a story I lived, and it’s a story my kūpuna lived. Many in kūpuna in my family were personally displaced by the fall of the Hawaiian Kingdom and the transition into statehood. People were removed from their homes, people were transported to other islands or even the mainland. The world was changed.

Ailani is born into a galaxy where her culture is all but lost to her family. The minerals and metals in Naboo aren’t the same, so her Father can’t practice his religion, which involves metalworking and craftsmanship. The plants and fruits aren’t the same, so he slowly forgets how to cook the meals he grew up on because he can’t find substitutes. Therefore, Ailani grows up not knowing much of her history and heritage because these things have been stolen from her Father, so he can’t pass them on to her. She speaks Mando’a in her youth, and she learned traditional hunting and gathering, but there is still a massive lack. 

And even those things are later taken from her.

For Ailani is sent to live with the Jedi “for her own good.”

The Mother insists that she and The Father cannot provide for Ailani as she needs. The Mother insists that it’s time to move on. The Mother insists that times are changing. And Ailani is sent to live at a faraway school for her own good. 

This is a story many of our kūpuna know. This is a story from my grandfather’s life. And this is a story he used to tell me. Like Ailani, my grandfather was sent away so he could learn other ways. His parents thought it was best for him to forget them. Like Ailani, my grandfather only got to see his parents once after he was sent away. Like Ailani, his parents died before he got the opportunity to really know them again.

The Jedi don’t explicitly discourage Ailani from pursuing cultural connection, but again, the isolation of her situation robs her of any opportunity to try. She doesn’t know any other Mandalorians. She doesn’t know anyone who speaks the same version of Mando’a that her Father did. She can read books and practice alone, but she misses out on so much because her culture is community-focused, and she is entirely alone. 

And most importantly, she is a Jedi now. 

And the Jedi are part of the reason her Father was removed from Mandalore in the first place. She feels like both victim and executioner. The harder she conforms to Jedi ways, the more guilty she feels about abandoning Mandalorian practices. Yet, at the same time, she feels cast out whenever she engages in Mandalorian practices, because no one else understands them. She is too Mandalorian to be Jedi and too Jedi to be Mandalorian. 

This is also a story my grandfather told me. He spoke of the “modern world” and how desperately he wished to return to the old ways. He missed fishing and slow sunrises and waves full of sea turtles.

But my grandfather also told me that he needed to eat. And he felt that the price of food was forgetting the old ways and adopting the new ones. He said once that all modern things we know were bought with blood money. He told me to never forget where I was from. He made me promise. 

Sometimes, I think this story is for him too.

[clownfishbites]

OK SO,

I’m guessing Batman/Joker: Switch (2003) is a bit niche since I hadn’t heard of it until really recently. But as the CEO of niche quasi character studies of the Joker from the early 2000s I’ve gotta give this one it’s flowers.

It starts out with an interesting premise that it doesn’t really use, but the opener is this:

So I was super hyped thinking this was gonna be one of those awful medical malpractice character studies that I love, where it examines what happens when you forcibly unravel the Joker personality with deeply unethical therapy.

(I love that concept and trust I’m writing a batjokes fic about something similar.)

But working on that theory, Batman comes to London to find Joker who has been let loose after what seems like a very unethical surgery where someone removed his smile and put it on the back of his neck. He’s not quite himself, getting a bit lost in the lines between himself and Batman, wandering around trying to solve what happened to him and forgetting to eat or take care of himself.

Which is where we get this great moment:

I love it. The second somebody genuinely cares and intervenes on his behalf he assumes it’s Batman.

I really like the way the panels are drawn here, leaning into the surrealism of Joker's wide eye, and the smile in the place it shouldn't be, it's all very Dali. This, in combination with the fairly rare show of vulnerability from Joker, and the totally disconnected nonsense way he speaks in this one, really heightens that feeling of 'oh there's something wrong here', it's weird seeing a broadly sympathetic take on Joker.

But they know each other too well, because upon showing up, forcibly giving him medication is actually one of the first things Batman does.

Batman reclassifies the lines between them, actually helping Joker get back to his baseline self. He doesn't capitalise on the confusion as a means of pacifying Joker or anything, he just rigidly reinforces the status quo- returning Joker to himself and putting them both back in Arkham.

But then we learn the real kicker: Joker asked for the surgery. It's really interesting to see the collage of his behaviour from far away, because this pretty extreme facial self-mutilation for the sake of a wider point, or just for comedy we won't see again for 10ish years, until he gets his face taken off by the Dollmaker before DOTF.

Just to quickly return to the initial vulnerability from Joker this issue teases the reader with. It does strike a fairly sympathetic tone, framing Joker as the victim of some cruel joke for once, removing his smile. But now we know he asked for it, literally. It isn't so much an ‘oh he got what he was coming to him’, but that the sheer amount of pain, psychological, physical pain the Joker experiences every day, due to this lifestyle he has chosen, is all still a direct result of his own choices. One bad day, or whatever backstory he may have had that led him here, we know that it is categorically not the only option. He is truly the architect of his own misery, he very much was the first victim of the Joker, and I find it interesting that this comic forces you to take that perspective. That even a vulnerable, half-starved and mentally confused Joker is this way because he "begged" for it, and is now facing the consequences of his own actions, with the faith that Batman will care enough to save him.

[universitypenguin]

Smut, the way you write it 🤌🤌🤌 as someone who hasn't dipped their toes into smut yet. Spill your secret, Alice.

How do I write smut like you?

Write, then let it rest and revise. Let that rest and revise again. Revise as many times as necessary - sometimes it takes longer, sometimes you’re just in the zone and the words are flowing.

Nobody writes a good first draft - it’s literally never been done. Make sure to give enough detail to get your point across, but remember- your reader’s imagination is capable of doing most of the work.

When you describe something be precise about physical locations. For example, “he touched her hip” is very different than “he touched her waist.” Remember which character’s hand went where! This is an important second draft check and it always saves me. You can’t give your character three hands when he’s only supposed to have two. Writing smut this is a very common problem, which I’ve heard described as “phantom limb syndrome.”

Focus on your character’s reactions. Smut isn’t good because it’s hot, it’s good when it makes the reader feel something emotional. You’re doing two things at once in a smut scene - first, showing erotic moments as they can only be conveyed by the written word, and second, you’re revealing internal thoughts and feeling of your character that would only occur in this context. For example, Lloyd and Princess. The smut chapter was frequently in his perspective due to the fact that I wanted to establish his emotions. The only reason he’d admit to those specific feelings so honestly was because they were being enhanced by passion.

Pace yourself in the build up to the main event - readers need foreplay. I always make people wait. Making the right promise to your audience is very important. Then, you have to lure them along with breadcrumbs in the form of interesting little twists and turns. Your reader has already set their expectations based on the feel of your writing and the things you’re focusing their attention on. They know they’re heading towards a gingerbread house. If you lay a trail of breadcrumbs and fail to deliver the expected “gingerbread house” at the end, they will not be pleased. Make your promise to the reader, and pay it off with the right currency. For example - don’t set up a hot, explicit erotic smut scene and then cut away before things get good. Technically, this might work if you’re writing a “closed door romance” but that’s usually not the style on Tumblr.

I’ve found the chapter warnings we put in the headers tend to set reader’s expectations. Those absolutely help not only for safety, but to direct you towards what stories you’d want to read.

Also, don’t be afraid to keep a file of all the good smut scenes you read. Go through it and make notes over what they did well and why it worked for you. Think about how you could use the same type of device in your work and try it out. I’m not saying to copy their work! But in the same way a chef can make an omelette in thirty different styles, you’ll start to see patterns in good writing that you can follow to improve your own technique.

Beta reader feedback is another important aspect of good writing. You can get lost and not see the forest for the trees, you know? Don’t ruin a piece that’s improving because you’re frustrated. Take your time as you write and the remember: breaks are an important part of the process!

Hopefully this helps! Also, I’m just one writer with a personal opinion and my own experiences. There are many different approaches to creative writing and they’re all valid.

💕

[cassberry]

EDIT: Want to watch Last Life? Check it out here! Here for Double Life! Here for Limited Life!

With a new Life™ season on the horizon, I thought I’d help those that wanted to get into the series but found the thought of watching 14 different POV’s a little intimidating.

Please keep in mind that this my incredibly biased opinion and I highly recommend watching all the perspectives that I didn’t list. I’ve tried to pick perspectives that give the most insight into a session, however I may have missed a few things. 3rd Life is an amazing series, and it really helps to bounce around to see what others are doing in their episodes because interactions with others are the core of what makes 3rd Life great.

I’ve given more details below the cut for reasons why I picked these POV’s and beware of minor spoilers if you haven’t seen anything yet. Also as the creators still quite hadn’t figured out the format yet, some of the sessions are split into multiple episodes. If you are lost the Last Life wiki has the episode order list to make it easier.

WARNING: The longest read more of your life, do not click if you don’t want to fill your entire dash lmao I have a rambling problem.

SESSION ONE

Grian - As the series creator, Grian is a good place to start as any. Although not as directly involved with the main group this session, he is the catalyst for what really becomes a defining point in the series, so you won’t want to miss that.

Cleo - I feel that Cleo’s first videos give the best overview of a lot of major things that happened in session one. Tree.T.S.D is still the best pun in the series and she has the best angle for “the incident” out of everyone.

Scott – A very fun POV if you are looking for something a little cosier and great viewing for those interested in the Flower Husbands.

Scar - If you know, you know.

SESSION TWO

Scar, Martyn, Cleo and Jimmy

All four of these perspectives give the best view of what is happening on this session. Scar and Martyn more so as they show some developing relationships that will be essential at the end of the season but Cleo and Jimmy are fun as well. 

SESSION THREE

Scar or Grian – Look, it’s pretty essential that you watch either one of these POV’s. I’m not going to spoil why, but it’s very important.

Etho – I’m going to completely honest with you. Etho is my favourite, and this episode is just very, very fun.

Martyn - Martyn’s editing this episode is superb, especially once “the incident” happens.

Impulse – Impulse is a great POV this session as he gives you an outside look into what’s happen outside of the core factions. The grind is real with this man and its fun to see.

SESSION FOUR

Grian – I don’t know whether to recommend watching Grian’s episode first or last because he went full gremlin in this one. It might be more fun for you to watch everyone’s reactions to what he did first, but that’s up to you.

Tango – Tango is doing what Tango does best this episode and has created a mini-game. The consequences of the game are very interesting in retrospect.

Ren – I can’t really say much here without spoiling anything, but Ren’s episode is a rollercoaster.

Bdubs – A very good outside view of the shenanigans that went on this session. Also, yes Bdubs your Crastle is very tall.

Joel or Etho – This seems to be the episode of gremlins because I feel like these two shouldn’t work together otherwise the server will fall to chaos.

SESSION FIVE

Ren or Martyn – Shit goes down this session. Session 5 is truly the turning point of the season and where the biggest battles and conflicts start to occur. Ren or Martyn are truly the best pick for this session.

Bdubs – Bdubs chose indirect violence this episode and it pays off.

Grian – A good POV to see what he and Scar are doing when Ren and Martyn go off this episode.

SESSION SIX

Session 6 is tricky to expand on because I can’t really explain anything without getting into major spoiler territory. Just know that I’ve picked those POV’s for a reason and by now you’ve probably picked a side and will want that side to triumph. Also, Joel is a menace.

SESSION SEVEN

Skizzleman - Skizz pops the fuck off during this session. He fully represents what a red life should be.

Martyn and Scar – Just good POV’s to see either side of the conflict.

Impulse – I can’t say anything here without spoiler but just know, that karma is very circular in this series.

Jimmy - Jimmy you poor, sweet canary.

Cleo - I love you Cleo, and you never have done anything wrong in your life.

SESSION EIGHT

Ren, Martyn, Grian, and Scar – At this point I don’t really need to explain anything, but I highly recommend Grian’s episode over Scar’s for the finale (but don’t discount Scar’s POV either).

Scott - Scott Smajor decided to collectively destroy everyone’s heart with his finale.  Honestly, I remember tearing up a little when I watched it for the first time. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Big B - Our lord and saviour Big B also included something in his episode that many of the others cut out, footage from the ghosts perspective. Everyone say thank you to Big B.

In summary...

As someone who watched 3rd Life as it was airing it felt very weird to go back and only watch one perspective at a time. The fun of a Life™ season is to try and watch as many perspectives as you can the week they release so you can see all the nuisances and conversations that happened to get a full picture of what happened that session.

Anyway, I hope this guide helps you in your 3rd Life endeavours. It is an incredible series and my excitement for the new season is at levels previously unknown. If you have an suggestions for episodes that others should watch, let me know! Have fun!

[naneun-no]

🎈Happy birthday Namjoon 🎈

One of my favorite things he’s ever said, and he’s said a lot of intelligent, thoughtful things, was a comment he made during their hiatus announcement video last Summer.

I’m gonna paraphrase, but he essentially said that out of the myriad of realities in the multiverse, he genuinely believed (or wanted to believe) that he was living in the best possible one. That he was living the best possible outcome of all the random realities for Kim Namjoon that there are.

And wow, that hit me.

At first, it didn’t. I had recently lost a pregnancy, painfully and traumatically; I was grieving that and watching the world seem to fall apart around me, and struggling to find the will to keep going, to keep caring, to keep watching all the girls who were pregnant at the same time as me have healthy, beautiful babies and to click the “❤️” button rather than scream at them to shut the fuck up about how “blessed” they are.

So for a second I scoffed at him, like, “well no shit he’s living in the best reality; he’s a famous, successful and beloved celebrity with more money than he knows what to do with.” I mean — that’s the alternate reality we all would like to wake up and find ourselves in at least some days, right?

And, well, fair enough. But his words stuck with me, and the more I thought about them, the more I realized his words were deeper than that. I think they were about cultivating joy, and gratitude, and intention, and putting effort into making the life you’re living, no matter what it looks like, the best it could possibly be, out of all the random dice rolls in the universe.

And that’s a powerful fucking decision to make.

There are forces outside our control, of course there are. There are things we can’t escape, realities we can’t change. But there are almost always more things that we can change than things we cannot. And one of the biggest ones is our perspective.

What would the world look like if we all decided, individually, to make this right here our best reality? To stop wishing we were someone else doing something else somewhere else. To instead wholeheartedly believe that this is the chosen life, the one that deserves all of our effort, all of our passion, all of our attention. I think it would be transformative.

I encourage you to try it, even just for a day. Believe that your life is charmed, that it is destined and fated to matter. I’m not talking about manifesting, I’m talking about choosing.

Since hearing those words from him, I’ve tried to make small changes, everyday changes, but intentional ones, to enjoy the life I find myself in. To appreciate it, really appreciate it, despite its hardships, despite its ugliness, despite its many, many imperfections. To write more, to feel more, to forgive more, to listen more. To smile and dance around in my kitchen to KPop songs more. To tell my husband I love him more.

I can promise you that while my reality has not changed much at all since last Summer, it has nonetheless risen in my esteem. I can agree with him now; I can say that I too, am living in the best possible reality, out of the myriad of them that there may be, floating out there in the ether.

Maybe in one of them I am smarter, cleverer, notable for accomplishing something great. Maybe in one of them I’m more popular, more loved, more lauded.

But in this one, I am me, right where I am. And I choose to believe that that is no accident.

When he gifted those words to me that day, it was just that: a gift. And maybe I’m silly to read so much into a throwaway sentence from a pop star, but I’m not sure that’s what it was. I think it was vulnerable, thoughtful encouragement from a man who has enough power and wealth to be anything but vulnerable and thoughtful. And yet, he chooses to be.

Thank you, Namjoon. And happy birthday 💙

[c-rowlesdraws]

this is supposed to be my art-exclusive blog, BUT looked up this video to link to a friend and wound up watching half of it again because it’s so fascinating, and felt like I needed to share it. It’s a documentary about Kowloon Walled City produced by Austrian journalist and writer Hugo Portisch, filmed in the city itself in the summer of 1987 and released in 1989, four years before demolition of the city began. Today, the 6.4 acre area that once held a 14-story labyrinth of approximately 50,000 people is a public park.

the documentary is in German, with subtitles in English added by the uploader. The filmmakers’ perspective is frank in laying out the harshness of life in the city, and aims to be honest-- although the only direct interview is with a British missionary, the only white person in the whole film, and the narration makes blanket statements about broken families and an “every man for himself” attitude that contradict former residents’ own descriptions of an intensely close-knit community and households where several generations lived together, despite the tiny size of the city’s apartments. Despite these criticisms I’d make, the tone of the documentary is clearly sympathetic towards its subjects from beginning to end, and it’s a fascinating and emotional glimpse into a vanished world.

if you’ve heard about Kowloon Walled City and want to learn more, watch this thing! If you’re like me and you’ve been lowkey obsessed for years, also watch this thing! If you didn’t know about the city at all before now, you’re welcome, and watch this thing!

the uploader’s video description, which I’ve pasted below, contains additional information about the making of the documentary that adds more depth and context:

Credits go to cameraman Hamdani Milas. Christina Wesemann for creation and direction of the film and also to Hugo Portisch for production. 

 Milas was one of the people that helped filmed this 1989 documentary about the city.  I spoke with him recently and he said that he is interested in a follow up video of some sort so we may expect something new on the way. 

 He mentioned how it was an incredibly tough shoot. They were a five person crew; himself as cinematographer, a camera assistant, focus-puller, sound recordist, a researcher, production assistant and the director, and a very nice Austrian lady who was most willing to collaborate and listen to crew suggestions. 

 They shot for 6 days continuously, 10-12 hours a day, at the height of the summer of 1987. He mentioned how it smelled very bad inside from the open drainage, the heat was stifling at plus 32ºC with little to no air circulation, also not knowing whether it was sewage or clean water dripping on their heads occasionally,  they regularly had to wipe the camera and lens dry. 

 The claustrophobia- you could hardly turn around in some places with a 7kg Betacam SP camcorder on your shoulder.  They had a tripod with them but hardly used it inside because there was nowhere to position it without blocking the narrow passageways. 

 They also frequently got lost and had to ask the locals for directions. Lunch was much-anticipated each day when they could take a break outside in the fresh air. After a day’s shoot they were absolutely dripping with sweat and the first thing they’d do after getting home was to put all their clothes straight in the wash and have a long shower. Working in those conditions was an immense challenge technically and physically but, as is often the case, none of that shows in the resulting footage. 

 Here we have a very interesting first hand account of what Hamdani Milas experienced in the walled city itself when he was filming this video. So by what he’s told me we can understand just how much of an incredible risk it was to film inside this city, even though it was near to when the city was demolished and the place was seen as safer it was still a high risk no go area. 

 I took it upon myself to re-sub the video as best as possible, the 4 part version is hard-subbed on a version of this film with very poor quality, the subs are also worded incorrectly in some places. So all I've done is re-subbed the whole thing and put it onto a better quality video clip. 

 Note: about the section of this video where Jackie Pullinger is speaking, I’m sure anyone can see the subtitles are a transcript of Jackie Pullingers actual words in English and not the narrators. I’ve noticed a comment mentioning how the subs are way off in that part. While subbing this video I realised the narrator wasn’t giving an exact translation so took it upon myself to decipher what she was actually saying over his voice. Sorry I just couldn’t help it but it was out of boredom 😉

[bestworstcase]

I feel like (different anon) half of the fandom doesn’t even care about Salem in the sense that regardless of what Her goal is? To be fair in my corner I’ve seen more individual character hatred rather than “this plot doesn’t make sense” hatred. Or ppl just saying the plot sucks without offering why they think so which is the majority of rwby “criticism”. But Salem being the key to the end of the show has been very well telegraphed since the end of volume 3. She started as this faceless monster, a creature to hate, the one who killed their headmaster and plunged the world into war. Then we learned that Oz was also keeping secrets and outright lying, so that knocked him off of the Trusted Adult pedestal (tho he has always been kinda shady but in terms of story formula that’s what I mean). Volume 6??? The Lost Fable?? Still so amazing. Salem very literally gets humanized in the eyes of our characters. She still did all of those awful things but she’s a Person now rather than an Entity. Those moments of confrontation (Ironwood’s office with Ruby, Yang while in the whale, Oscar.” We get to see her talking to her Evil Guy Crew. We see her have emotions.

AND THEN THE BROTHER GODS once thought of as entities much like how Salem was seen by the cast in the beginning. Yes they are still gods but not in the sense that at least I was thinking. They came From somewhere. And yes Salem was the first to discover they were fallible but knowing what V9 told us helped me put it into perspective

So the last arch being about fully learning what Salem wants and then, probably possibly, deciding how to help alongside with it. I think ppl get upset bc they view that as “oh yeah all the ppl she killed and lives she ruined don’t matter she’s our bestie mow” kind of Joining with Salem. When im seeing it as a more Neo agreeing to work with Cinder type deal. If Salem wants to stop the gods, get revenge, make them humble, and the gods return and want to wipe out remnant For Good, I’d say that’s a common goal our kids can get behind.

rwby is a cool show with cool villains and I enjoy it a lot and also your thoughts about it sorry this is so long

the thing with salem and the, like, common fandom interpretation of her and where her arc is headed is that. at least since v9 it’s less about resistance to the idea that the final confrontation being team rwby vs the gods as it is the way folks assume salem fits into that, namely that most of the fandom still takes completely at face value the idea that she’s selfish, arrogant, and needs to learn her lesson about the value of life and death. so you get these wild takes that the gods were assholes who punished her out of proportion for what she did, paired with this implicit idea that salem does actually deserve this punishment because she Still RefusesTo Learn Her Lesson, and thus she needs to be redeemed by team rwby proving her wrong somehow.

but like

salem did nothing wrong. praying to the gods was not wrong, reacting emotionally when they were cruel to her was not wrong, recognizing their fallibility and unworthiness was not wrong, rallying people against them was not wrong, vowing to keep fighting after they massacred everybody was not wrong, cursing them after they left and blaming them for ending the world was not wrong, jumping into the pool of grimm was not wrong, BEING grimm is not wrong, rejecting the divine mandate after ozma hid it from her for years was not wrong. frankly continuing to be a thorn in his side since then is, i would argue, also not wrong, because she’s made herself the immovable obstacle preventing him from summoning his genocidal god back to remnant to kill everyone again; it is laughably obvious that the ultimatum is not a game humanity can win. and then factoring in the part where ozma is obsessed with finding a way to destroy her, what else is she supposed to do besides live in exile. and of course if you close off every other door except violent rebellion you are eventually going to invite violent rebellion. 

so like. Salem Is Right, and seems to be taking what she considers the path of minimal destruction (the grimm held beacon but pull out of vale within a few days; her plan for haven was nearly bloodless and left mistral untouched; she made no move to attack mantle and began her siege with a grace period for her to leave in peace if the relics were surrendered), which means that she’s likely willing to negotiate methods if other less destructive paths are opened to her. her villain -> hero arc can’t turn on team rwby persuading her that she’s wrong, because fundamentally her position is “the genocidal divine tyrants do not deserve our obedience and we can and must defy them” which is, um, correct. but if they adopt that position themselves and then negotiate How i think they’ll find she’s a lot more reasonable than they’ve been led to believe, and i do not think the wider fandom is prepared for that whatsoever