#so ive decided i need a change
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#ive decided im gonna quit my job in May#im going to work at summer camp and normally i just take a leave of absence#but ive decided i hsve to get out of this job#i need to take control of my life a bit and i cant do that while trapped in this job#it feels safe. which means im not willing to take other opportunities for fear of losing my job that feels safe#but it keeps me from things#so ive decided i need a change#after i come back from camp im gonna figure it out more#im considering moving again#i really want to start college#i want a decent education so i can get a job i actually care about#im not sure what it is yet but I'll figure it out#i cant do this for the rest of my life. i need to start making goals and pursuing them and making my life what i want it to be#at some point i have to oet go of the past and start making the future what i want it to be#years ago i lost the future that i was going to have. so now i have to build a new one. and im going to#jesus im exhausted
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Yeahlow
#art tag#pokemon#pokespe yellow#pokespe#pokemon special#i wish i had the first ever drawing i did of yellow i think thatd be a fun comparison#i think i do sctually….. shes been w me through so much#when i was 9 i would draw eyelashes onto yellow after the ponytail reveal in gsc but now youll NEVER see me drawing her w eyelashes#i also like pause before i decide what pronouns i should use for her#so i think thats some sort of character development for me#once i bought the last gsc volume onto my school bus and showed it to a friend of mine and she like#pointed to green oak and went why does the boy have eyelashes 😐#n i was like i dont CARE i need to tell you why red x yellow is canon#more character development from me i dont really ship them anymore. same w blue and green. as a pokespe fan ive changed so much#i need to reread dpp i miss the trio so muuuhc…….. i iwhs they couldve returned int he manga and get why not but. i miss the#is swsh nearly over im not up to date at all. i know the dlcs happening but thats it#i wanna see what the scvi protags will be like. and which ones scarlet and which ones violet#and how they handle to version diffs ooo….. two schools? double dead argen parents?#ARVEN sorry. but yea. exciting#WHAT school will each rival be in what about clavel and the teachers ??!!???!??!!?!??!? anyway#thats enougb rambling for one post. goot bye
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wow ive been kind of off lately I should take a day to rest an[explosion]
#[.art]#self#complaining tag#I'm good. I needed to draw about it but I'm good. it's fine. whatever#love it when I barely ask you for money to Live outside of gifts and 30 a month. and then you withold the gift SOMEONE ELSE GAVE ME#that's fine it's totally not as if I told you I need that money before. and you decided I was a bit too mean#about you compiling a document I Need To in order to keep the room and board in the place I am living in. by the way#she proceeded to change topic completely to the weather and forget about anything ive told her on the clothes I have here#or about the courses I follow. she takes notes for my sister's classes but cannot be bothered to remember i dont have exams in april#that's fineeee it's fine. it's fine. I know my sistser needs the help and I don't. I would rather die than ask for her help anyways#you can at least pretend to forget about both of us equally instead of telling me I should graduate in two years because im smart enough#which I am not. by the way. At least when I will fail at something I'll have the opportunity to tell her I told you so thank god#dont get me wrong i know her giving me compliments is a good thing I just sort of wish the were things actually about me#and not about the idea she has about me being some kind of prodigy that's simply too lazy to actually be exceptional. anyways
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[Amnesiac Omori AU]
Grown up Omori concepts! My idea for the final chapter of the fic for this AU is that it's an epilogue that takes place ten years in the future (so he's ~22 years old in this pic), so it's got me thinking about what Omori's like when he's older
Notes:
He dyed his hair partially white to honor his past self and to signify how he's accepted his past as part of himself
He's aroace! Never ends up settling down with anyone and is perfectly happy and content about it <3
Not depicted here but for his career I imagine he goes into computer programming!
I'm thinking he maybe becomes roommates with Andrew, no matter what though him and Andrew remain very close
The main conflict for the epilogue's story is that Omori develops a tendency to overwork himself, which is something his friends help him deal with
#omori#omori au#amnesiac omori au#omori omori#omori (character)#omori sunny#sunny omori#siren art#still need to decide how the characters decide when omori's birthday is...#its either the day he was actually created (so sometime in october i imagine)#or the day he became a human (so sometime in june)#not july 20th though i know thats his 'canon' birthday but only cause its sunny's. omori deserves his own birthday#also the one of omori and sunny looks very similar to smth ive drawn before right down to the expressions if you know what it is no you don#it was unintentional i prommy#also you may remember my drawing of omori at the end of the story where his eyes are a slightly different color#i changed my mind on that they just remain black i think its cool that way
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I'm sure that there s a perfectly good reason, but it's just really funny to me that Pompeyo has beef with a teenager (Marcus). What a way to NOT copy Sulla
lmaoo yeah
honestly, it’s very one sided: Pompeyo is trying so hard to get along with Marcus and it’s just not clicking because Marcus distrusts him for being a (former) political ally of Felix.
like, from Marcus' point of view, Pompeyo let Felix fuck Crasso over for his own gain, and fully expects Pompeyo to behave exactly like Felix once Pompeyo fully realigns himself with Crasso. Marcus really only acts civil to Pompeyo because of Publius (who. god. he needs a new name so bad. Paolo? Paris? I might give up trying to pick a name that begins with P and just name him Celestino or something, tbh), and even then. the civility is debatable.
later tho! it takes two events that happen several years apart from each other, but they do come to an Understanding. Pompeyo is actually totally unaware of the moment that Marcus decides that Pompeyo is part of the family.
Marcus still gives Pompeyo a lot of shit, but it's no longer actively hostile. just regular, garden variety fucking around (affectionate) and making Pompeyo's life a little bit difficult on purpose because it's kind of funny.
#I’m thinking of changing Marcus’ name to Mark to give him another degree of separation between him and his historical namesake#I’ll have to do some sample dialogue scenes to see how it goes#ask tag#anyway. i actually miss so much people stopping by at 11 and pulling out the coffee mugs and the instant coffee and sitting around#uh. wait. this might need a cw#what's. the cw for famine related hunger#cw starvation //#cw child death //#bad governance the series#WAHOO anyway it's all rough drafts so you get to see all of my blocking notes. subject to change the next time i do edits etc#like already ive decided that the weight of marcus changing his opinion on pompeyo has another part to it i just didn't have it#sketched out. so for now. this is the general very barebones idea of the scene
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i dont trust any big scale production of animal products but i think free range organic eggs is the best i can do cause i dont know anyone with hens that can sell me eggs on a regular basis. That would be good though if i could get in contact with a small hen farm. Also are eggs bad for you im only doing this if its good for my body nothing else
#some ppl are like eggs r so bad cholestrol etc others r like nothing is more nutrient packed and the cholestrol thing is a myth idk#I feel quite guilty about this idk if ill be able to do it#Im going to eat mussels too…feel scared to do that#I dont think im changing anything else though#Cause ive decided no dairy products and no fish and definitely no other animals#Oyesters lmao but im scared and they r alive when u eat them yuck#Also whats it called the like eggs in shrimp and fish etc#Theres a great vegan alternative but probably doesnt have the same nutrients#Its called like roe in english?#Hm i should eat more nuts and seeds also#Maybe more greens#I wonder what else#i rlly should eat fish and meat…if i reallt wanna do this..#Like i just know thats the best thing for my body#Oh yeah yeah heart diseases whatever yeah probably#But like. Some. I dont mean a lot i just mean enough to get some good iron and stuff#I feel like my hair needs red meat. Lmao#But im not going there#…#i cant..#I dont want animals to die but then im like. Its natural. Its the way of life you die so i can live#Im only considering hunting like animals from hunting now#No way im eating industrial beef
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uh. insert witty caption here?
#nep draws things#sketch#tagamemnon#odysseus#the odyssey#greek mythology#sorry people. this is very specifically because of EPIC the musical. ive been looping it for half a week. do you forgive me#i literally do not know how to caption this. just take it. aougrhj ive been staring at this so long. and deciding do i post? do i not post?#agh. anyway schools kicking my ass still. sad!#anyway topic change! i need a new profile and banner. pain and sufferingggg
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hitting her with the same chicken beam that got falin or something like that
#wip. i am thinking abt her so much lately. as always. link is also there (one whole link)#so yes i know there is stuff here that looks fucked up dont worry ...... i am working on it............... but i still think shes cute :]#i need to find that sweet spot between 'fucked up' and 'but not really fucked up' so. thats how its going for me lately#there will probably be more because i have zink brainworms too. as always. but ermmm yeah ^_^#personal.txt#verwip#this is my wip tag now btw. ive decided#i kinda wanna change my chatter say to versays. like the red mage spell thing. but ughhhh man WE'RE IN SO DEEP#ah well...
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lil pre bed doodle. I'm still figuring out Maelgwn's proportions and by god I'm going to have to learn how to draw paws eventually. but Not Tonight baybe!
#hi its six am#anyways ive decided Erasyl is going to have the energy of a noble kings dastardly advisor#but instead of being dastardly hes mostly just bitchy.#and also usually in the right with his advice#so its very. Maelgwn: *orders something something stupid or assholish* Erasyl: *goves him the Look.* Maelgwn: Ive changed my mind#anyways i need to stop making pairs who are divorced middle aged dog men in love with weirdly tall cat boys with long black hair.#like jts only happened twice. but still#anyways im going to go take a nap
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just sat through the most horrible, awkward, tense dinner I've ever experienced in my whole life
#my bf's family was in town to see the eclipse#he was like 'hey do you wanna get dinner with us after?'#and he's met my entire family so even though i didnt want to it was only fair.#anyway his uncle picks us up at my apartment. his sister is in the car.#no one asks who or how i am and i do not get introduced nor have the chance to introduce myself#for like a good 3-5 minutes. off to a bad start.#we get to the restaurant. a pizza place. his family is already seated.#no one except for his grandparents acknowledge me. they are the only 2 people to talk to me directly for the entire meal.#his grandfather asks some stuff about my life. i answer normally. he veers off into tangents that i can only respond to with 'haha'#or a smile and nod bc they are so personal that i literally have nothing to add#the children in the family spill water everywhere. there is yelling in the public restaurant while my bf goes and gets napkins#like a normal person might do#despite being at a pizza place everyone decides to order an individual dish instead of something to share#this might be fine if there were only 4 of us. there were 10.#they get mad when the food takes over an hour to come#at this point i wished i had ordered a cocktail#his uncle is the most awkward person ive ever met. he quotes outdated memes out loud.#at one point everyone except for me and my bf was on their phones#his grandfather shows me vulgar facebook posts#what is WRONG with people#im going to shower and change into my jammies and have a drink and watch something stupid#i need to cleanse myself of this whole. thing.#txt
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#i never thought id lose friendship so quickly. to have someone i cared about and loved just. suddenly turn#like fuck she was someone i cared about#someone i found comfort in and who i felt loved by#and like. to have that change so quickly#to suddenly turn like that#all because we decided to run#because that house was terrible and unsafe for us and we only felt safe there in each others’ arms#like. we ran because my ex was emotionally abusive and isolated us. made us feel unsafe in the house#and im sorry I never told you that. but fuck#i still love you#it just feels so fucking sudden.#ive never lost a friendship like this#and it hurts#we needed to run. we needed to feel safe. and. idk. it hurts to feel treated like this. to be turned on so suddenly#me and my roomie are safe. at last. we finally found a place to freely exist and be ourselves in. to heal in#we werent the ones to burn that bridge that bridge was burnt long ago#i just didnt think your bridge was burned as well
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Cigars of the Pharoah (1932-34)
Travel
Train - 1
Boat - 5 (rowed - 1)
Coffin - 1
Horse - 1
Plane - 1 (as pilot - 1; crashed - 1)
Donkey - 1
Elephant - 4
Health
Sleeps - 1 (dreams - 1)
Eats - 2
Ow! - 13 (head injury - 5)
Unconscious - 4
Poisoned - 1
Hospitalised - 1 (psychiatric)
Emotions
Afraid - 1
Despair (TM) - 4
Angry - 1 (Sarcophagus tried to kill him)
Crumbs! - 2
Crikey - 1
Great snakes! - uncounted
Peril
Abducted - 2
Rocks dropped on him - 1 (uninjured)
Shot at - 2
Drowning - 2
Activities
Fishes - 1 (caught - 1 shark)
Swims - 2
Trees climbed - 1
The Law
Arrested - 6
Sentenced to death - 1
Imprisoned - 4
Joins an army - 1
Thompsons? - yes
Arrest Tintin - 4
Dodgy disguise - 3 (measured by any time they wear a disguise bc theyre always dodgy even in their normal clothes)
Thomson spoonerism - 4
Thompson spoonerism - 4
Rastapopoulos? - yes
Maharajah of Gaipajama? - yes
QUIFF DOWN - 2
#i am SO sorry for changing up how i tally stuff every single time#herge#tintin#the adventures of tintin#snowy#milou#cigars of the pharoah#tintin stats#as always obsessed with how herge draws vehicles#tintin: time for a nice quiet holiday. everyone within a thousand mile radius: fuck your quiet holiday#it was a big day for boats#i decided i dont see the point of separating chloroform from other kinds of poison or drugging#so when i get to the end every time hes knocked unconscious by a substance not a weapon ill tally them all under the same umbrella#the only reason i separated chloroform poisoning in the first place is that it was one of my 'quicksands' as a kid#ie things that i thought i would have to deal with a lot more as an adult#but here i am. 25 and ive never once crawled through an air vent or been chloroformed*. herge pulled my leg the whole time#also apparently now im gonna commentate these posts in the tags lol#*NOT an invitation. i like my kidneys#and i like not being covered in gross lint which is what i assume is inside air vents. i wouldnt know. ive never BEEN in one >:(#also the emotions one needs some rethinking i think#because tbh hes like anyone else. hes generally either neutral or feeling an emotion like all the time#how do u tally that up without spending hours analysing whats going on with him#ive been going with 'visibly' but like. he smiles a lot and is usually pretty chipper#but a lot of the time if hes scared or angry he doesnt necessarily show it#but context-wise its clear that that's what he's feeling#he also laughs a lot i think but its not necessarily Obvious#its all about context#but i have to decontextualise things a lot just in the nature of what im doing here#idk if anyone has any input on this pls shout out#there were way more tags on this fhdskj but i ran out of space so thats for another time
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I am coming to the realization i have been slowly killing myself with work i think oops
#m thinking now and im like#i havent read ... anything consistently .. or watched anything .. or had time to like do anything#in genuinely so long#and i was like kinda becoming ok w it#my brain issues .. nothing matters i dont need anything all i need is me i dont need to have anyone or anything with me <- bad. stop it#part of this was the i need my dad to be proud of me braincell but well i win award i have 4.0 gpa and he still yell at me#deciding now to stop caring so much (i still do but ill ignore it) i need 2 be alive again i dont care#im so mad i dont even know .. im so viscerally angry like actually i dont even know what to do with that lmfao#my brother does shit all and u give him sm slack have NEVER treated him as bad as youve treated me#and nothing i do NOTHING is good enough or changes how u look at me#like idk he called me and i cried so much i got so fucking upset i fhkdhdkf ok. ok.#he will b like omg im so proud of u i love u so much ive always believed in u and i just think back to when#he yelled at me once like fiiive years ago and i was like u just make me feel so worthless all the time#and he was like yeah bc you are worthless#and im like hmmm idk bestie i dont think youve ever changed from looking at me like that and it is insanely obvious lmao#i dont even know bro im crazy. m insane got given an inch and tried to take a mile like omg i can actually be recognized as worth something#nevermind ill stop killing myself for that pipe dream now lol#m not even upset im just mad lmao i dont wanna hate my dad and i dont but every day i feel more and more like i should#vent
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RRRRafflesia | Utsu-P feat. Hatsune Miku
#hatsune miku#vocametal#utsup#vocaloid#utsu-p#mine#music#listen ive been listening to it on loop and really really need to share it so i decided to be the change i wanna be#anyways#utsup upon you all#musicposting
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Ok i was really gung ho about making a few languages for my novel, and i still am largely. But hoooo boy the learning curve. It goes from ‘wow neat!’ To deep philosophical questions about what even is language and also look how we prioritize certain structures and check this out! Hidden metaphor. Rethink everything, you’re biased immensely by the languages you speak.
Im going to keep with it but i am feeling very intimidated and also lots of respect for conlinguists. A++
#this from a native english speaker and a pocketfull of other languages#ive always done words instictively so thinking about syntax and etymology on a deeper level is both captivating and also#a timesink spiral where i dont actually end up writing at all?#like penelope’s tapestry#every time i think i’ve got ebough to go on i find something new and have to unpick foundational knots#ok not like penelope at all but anyways#i think im gonna try and keep going with all of it and keep notes of any changes. then i can go back and decide if something needs changing#like culturally or linguistically or whatever#if its too vanilla or just not thought through well enough#novel wip rambling#text post
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official announcement to all my mutuals: I apologize and warn u in advance that I'm off my meds and will not stop fucking rambling sorry for the literal paragraphs I'm leaving in ur replies I just can't shut up okay love u bye
#decided im om too many fucking meds and have been for so long like since i was 16 ive been heavily medicated on so many different meds#like i dont even know what im like as a person not heavily medicated like idk who i am naturally so ive decided to stop taking most of them#except like the ones for my heart and stomach and shit that i need to live#even got my birth control implant removed and am off birth control for the first time in like 7 years#my life is like seriously changing so much currently im gonna be a completely different person so soon i feel like so im kinda .... weird rn#weirder than fuxking usual like by a lot#THERE I FUCKING GO AGAIN WHY CANT I SHUT THE FUCK UP NO ONE CARES#anyway okay love u bye smooches if u actually read all this fucking mess
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