#no one except for his grandparents acknowledge me. they are the only 2 people to talk to me directly for the entire meal.

[doecrossing]

just sat through the most horrible, awkward, tense dinner I've ever experienced in my whole life

[we-dragons]

I'm from a different dimension actually Chapter 8 Damian x reader

The school is shut down for a week ironically because of an attack by The Joker and Two-Face, that Robin and his team took down. The teachers sent out a notice with homework attached and told us to stay inside. Nightmare came back somewhere in the morning I couldn't tell the time because I apparently fell asleep along with Boy Wonder before the end of season 1 of The Highlander. I gently placed him down on the couch, gotten dressed, and made some breakfast, I only had eggs so I made some scrambled and put them on a plate for him and me. Nightmare got the last of the bacon. I put a plate over Robins while I ate mine sitting at the small table in the kitchen going over my homework. Sadly I finished my homework before my eggs and they have gone cold. I silently morn my eggs eating the cold carcass. "You stare any harder at that screen and you might break it." I jump, my head shoots upwards and I sigh, but then my eyes drop on my cat. My jaw drops the furball is purring in the arms of a masked stranger who is petting his head. Robin was petting my cat holding him like a baby and the demon is purring. Robin still had his eyes, and limbs not even a bite mark was seen on his skin.

"You traitor, you barely know him." I playful scold the feline, he meows nuzzling his face in Robin's chest.

"Your monster seems friendly."

"Nightmare looks like he's been introduced to catnip."

"Just a few scratches here and there." He smirks taking a seat next to me."Thank you for breakfast."

"Mhm." I turn back to the screen, "Will you be going back today Robin?"

"I might."

"Hmm." I finish the last problem for today closing the device, "Well I have to go to work, your welcome to stay if you want." I smooth out my clothes tossing one last look at the melting ball of fur. I quirk an eyebrow but move out to the door. I stop Halfway through the doorway and look back putting on my meanest face. "If you break a single window in my home I will find where ever you are and break you. Bye Nightmare, love you, I'll be back in a few hours."

_____________________________________________________________

"Nightmare! I'm back!" my keys skitter across the floor but no black fur is seen. He's still in the arms of Robin though it's not Robin, Green eyes. My stomach sinks and my mouth goes dry. "Damian?" His is just as much shock as me, he puts down Nightmare and rushes to me the door slams behind me. And I'm being dragged then forced to sit, his hands grip my shoulders. "Your early, why did you arrive early, you not supposed to be back for another half hour." I hardly heard him, I scold myself now realizing the obvious. Why else would Nightmare feel comfortable around him he had been here before multiple times noticed how I treated Damian and that's why he was a purring mess in his arms. I said be nice to him when he was over not Robin, but of course, they smell the same Nightmare associated with both people. I should have spotted it sooner, the voice, the height, the tone of his speech. Dear God, I can mom telling how oblivious, like she did when she won Clue. It was right there, he asked the right question and baited me for answers. I don't know why this is a shock to me. Now that I think of it I have to stop myself from laughing

"What the hell," my voice quivers. "Damian, Damian Wayne. You help Gotham." I start snickering, pulling my hand over my face. I throw my head back laughing then fall over to the side. "Nightmare you knew didn't you! Haha, that's why you were you were melting like butter."

"Your laughing!"

"Did you assume I wouldn't!" I wheeze, my breath nearly coming out to form words. "I can imagine you fighting, but saving people that's something else entirely."

"Do you think so little of me?" He sounds disappointed.

"I don't mean it to offend you but what else can I say. I didn't expect this." I sit up, clearing my throat and looking him dead in the eye. "Can I just call you Damian now, or do I still have to you different names."

"Why aren't you more surprised?"I Smile sadly.

"I thought you would have read up on me, do you know who killed my parents that day at home." He stiffens, he opens his mouth but continues. "My Father's sister, my aunt, killed them both during dinner. All because my mother wouldn't let her see those journals you asked about. After that it many people took off their masks."

"That's all it took?"

"What should it take, she killed her own brother because she didn't get confidential knowledge. To be honest, I don't really care anymore."

"You need professional help." I shrug.

"Probably, but getting sessions is expensive and I don't enjoy answering "and how are you feeling?" questions. I had enough of that already from everyone else."

"Where's your brother, Emil?" I feel myself frown.

"He's with someone I trust, I can't tell you who, sorry."

"The file says you died, you also made a miraculous recovery, recovery from what?"

"I prefer not to answer that question, It's rather personal." I don't want to explain that either, I know the doctor was shocked to see me come back. They had to call the professor to have him take me and my brother. After that this entire fiasco.

"You know I'll find out either way."

"Listen, I don't know how I made it, I was tortured by my she who will not be named and left for dead. I prayed for anyone and everyone who would hear me, someone did, the police found me and I was rushed to the hospital. I decided to take a nap, and I woke up to the sound of Emil crying. He cried, even more, when I woke up, screaming even, the good doctor nearly fainted. I was plugged into wires of all sorts, and my uncle was holding a plug, I assume he pulled, tackled me. My body lit up in pain and felt like I was run over, the next I am separated from my family and rushed into a place where they check on me every three months. At least I got to choose the place, they pay for the school, and I cover everything else." I give in, it feels nice to tell someone, something even if it's not the whole truth. But it seems to shut him up. "Please don't go looking for Emil, they haven't caught my aunt yet. I don't know if she's looking for them next, I would prefer not to stand over another grave knowing she got them too." I stare at him gauging his reaction, his face is still stone, unmoving in the uncomfortable silence. I pick up Nightmare, who has been rubbing against my leg for a bit, and scratch his head as he wants.

"Fine, I won't push further but I have terms."

"Really?" What would he need terms for?

"1, you don't reveal my identity to anyone. 2, you will not acknowledge that you know my family’s identities. 3, I come whenever I like as Robin or as Damian. 4, I add terms whenever I please."

"Why would I agree to any of that? I'm the one who has your identity." He smiles.

"Because I will tell Batman this information, and he doesn't talk as kindly to people hiding something. You obviously still are, but for now, I'll let it slide I'm sure by now you've decided to watch the news, so you know what he does." I gulp, I did see his more recent victim and he looked traumatized.

"Alright fine, but I binge so if you fall asleep tough luck, I'm not going back."

"Fine," he reaches back and pulls out his mask which he puts back on, walking out to the kitchen. "I back in a bit, pull out your couch bed while I'm gone. I will be staying here a while." I get up after him.

"Hey, that offer is for when I thought you were some homeless bums who fights crime, gets money from villain's wallets. You have a perfectly good bed at home!" He turns back one foot on the railing and a grappling hook in hand. "Term 6, I will stay as long as I like." he jumps off like before, not giving me a chance to speak.

"Bastard! I need my alone time!" He's gone I don't even know if he heard me. I grumble pulling out the spare sheets and blankets to set up the bed. "He better be paying rent, smug rich kid."

"Meow." Nightmare looks over at the window Robin left of.

"Yes, he's coming back."

"Meow"

"No, I'm not going tell him, not until I have to."

"Merrow"

"Shut up." I kick the side of the couch holding the two large cushions that lay on it, the bed springs out and makes a satisfying thud on the floor. "Go and see if the data has finished downloading, then put it back in the box I'll make you something in a how you feel about tuna our downstairs grandparents gave me a can."

_____________________________________________________________

The sheets are made, the cat is fed and now I am going over how I was going to cover for another person. How much would he eat, can he survive on pastries, ramen, and eggs. How long was he staying, would his family come asking about him seeing as he was here before. At both times, when he broke my window, and when they came for coffee.

"Hey, open the door." The voice is cold but still recognizable. I get up slowly taking my time getting there along with opening the door. He hurries in, dressed in some normal-ish clothes that still look expensive, but he still dressed like he came out of a photo shoot. He not only has a suitcase but some grocery bags, I frown at those. He seems to notice because he forgets his suitcase and charges into the kitchen. "Hey!"

"Y/N I am not eating ramen and eggs for god knows how long. I will cook a decent meal and you will have something healthy."

"How did you know I only had eggs and ramen?"

"I went through your fridge," He places a bag of tomatoes in the bottom drawer where I see green onions and various other veggies.

"I make stir-fry once a month, you have bought enough greens and reds to make that for two weeks. I don't even have rice."

"You don't like it when people spend money on you, do you?"

"I don't need other people's money," He opens his mouth, but I stop him raising a finger cutting him off. "And before you mention Molly, she remains the exception. Not that me telling her not to stops her."

"And why is that." He stops putting the food in the fridge.

"Because I've been friends with her longer," I look back at his bags and frown. "How long do you plan on staying again."

"For as long as I please."

"Won't they come looking for you? Your family I mean, the Detective stops by almost every day."

"Grayson won't be a problem, I left them a trail that leads to several other places." He stuffs the last of the food in the fridge, getting up and looking out the balcony window. "Should take a long while." I can hear the smugness in his voice.

"Your happy you tricked your brothers aren't you." He turns around forcing himself to frown but the corners of his lips twitch.

"Ho, you're a bastard Wayne."

"You're really gonna curse me?"

"You didn't tell me I couldn't Damian." I grab my computer and open Hulu putting on Star Trek; Next-generation where I left off. "Hope you enjoy space adventure, because I'm not starting this over its seven seasons and 4 movies. I'm halfway through season 3, if you want context just ask." I glance up signaling that I am waiting for a response, he leans on the wall in front of my kitchen. I can't read his face, but his face of neutral displeasure wasn't much better. "So, your done feeling good about yourself, or is there something else you need."

"It's been something I've been wondering for a while now, those iridescent pieces you fed me."

"Part of my mother's work." Not a complete lie,

"Was that what those missing journals about?"

"No." More of a lie but not wrong. He groans anyway, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Man, you really like to cut in deep and waste time. Just come here and watch some Star Trek with me I need someone else to groan in pain about Counselor Troy's and Will Riker's on and off slow burn romance." Begrudgingly he walks over plopping down next to me.

"Your tastes in tv are odd."

"You have no idea, my tastes in something go everywhere, after this and Highlander I have several old cartoons next. First, I might have to gather what you know about the Quack pack, Goof troop, Ducktales, and all that pizazz. Though I have a feeling that you would like Darkwing Duck more, or it could possibly be too relatable." He gives me a look.

"How could I relate to a duck?"

"We are a long way from that now, at the moment we must bear witness to Captain Picard and his adventures commanding the USS Enterprise."

"Has anyone told you how unbelievably weird you are?"

"Sir, you have entered my life for what looks to be the long run. You will experience the kind of weirdness only Molly has ever seen. But now that you are basically my roommate you might see more." I pat his shoulder. "So, buckle up, because this is now you've got a seat on this roller-coaster, and you can't get off till the car reaches a complete stop. Now can we please get back to the show I want to see some cosmic action?"

_____________________________________________________________

"Was that a statement or a question?"

"He can achieve the perception of feeling with a chip that goes into his hyper-advanced brain, lets his brother take it but can't make his own."

"I lent you my computer to catch up to where I left off for one night and that's what you're hung upon."

"Yes," his eyes look serious while he shoves some oatmeal in his mouth. "You are the one who can't stand the slow burn."

"Touche."

Before we got to the last season, Damian had asked he could see the rest of the show before the finally. I didn't expect that he would binge because it was a weekend, he even made extensive notes on character weakness. He still went out on patrol every night but came back with no one tailing him. That's what he says at least. He looks tired, with bags under his eyes and just lacking energy altogether.

"While I'm at work please go to sleep, you look like you fought an energy vampire and lost."

"I wouldn’t have lost to a vampire, they’re not that hard to kill.”

“But they drink blood they need to get close; energy vampires are more psychic they don’t even have to be a real monster.” He stops eating/

“How so?”

“They could be emotionally, physically, and mentally draining people. You know like Deity Skimmer, the girl in our science class. You can’t kill the energy-sucking vibes she gives off, can you.” He snorts behind his hand.” I mean it, even creatures of the night need sleep.” I drop my dishes off in the sink. I walk off to the door putting on my boots, I hear the chair slide and I feel his judging eyes digging holes in the back of my skull.

“Once again your conditions said nothing about teasing you, suck it up.” He scoffs. “I’ll be back around 5, don’t break any more windows while I’m gone.” I close the door before I hear any remarks once more about the incident. Though I laugh to myself, I straighten out my outfit and head down to the wonderful smells of the coffee shop. I walk slowly down the stairs looking out to the crowd that had been seated in the lounge. My managers were out by the couches talking to one of the regulars. Pull me behind the counter and relieve my coworker Meg, she looks exhausted and excuses herself. She takes what I assume is her coffee and puts away her apron and rushes out the door. I finish out what she didn’t clean and wait for anyone to come up to the counter. *Ring* though it is loud I hear the bell for the door ring.

“I’ll be with you in just a moment, I need to clean the nozzle here.”

“That’s fine, I can wait.” I flinch but catch myself, so it looks like I flicked something. I turn around with the best smile I can pull off. The sleep-deprived brother of Damian, peers at me from under his hair a frown tugging on his face.

“Oh hey! You came here with detective Grayson last time. Is there anything you would like?”

“Coffee.”

“Any particular kind?”

“Anything that will keep me from sleeping on this counter.” He knocks on the surface twice.

“I Can recommend our D&D potion bottle, it’s a personal favorite of the owners.”

“Why not, how much?” He fumbles around for his pockets, I stop him.

“How about, I make get it for you, and then you pay.” He brings his hands back on the counter and nods.

“I will only be a few minutes, please make yourself comfortable.” I pull out the ingredients for our powerful concoction, the pho fried ice cream, a large potion bottle with a straw, and 20-sided dice. I place the potion bottle in front of him and the ice cream but hand him the dice. He stares at the shiny plastic unmoving.

“I would roll that.” He does what I say and lands on a nine. “Well, sir after this one you can either have another potion or chose two desserts of any kind from our display or menu.” He takes a sip from the straw rather slow; his eyes perk up a bit.

“How Much did you say this was?”

“Oh! That will be $9.23?” He pulls out the exact amount, and I put it away in the register, placing it in the compartment marked D&D.

“And I would like another one of these to go.”

“Sure, would you like it now or before you go?”

“Well now should be nice, I’m leaving in just a bit.” I pull out a cup that is relatively the same size as the potion bottle. I go to give him his cup and notice that he finished the bottle and ice cream. Confusion hits me, but I don’t stare too long to turn to clean the mess. “Have you seen Damian at all?” And there it was.

“No, not since the Gala? Did something happen?”

“There was a…disagreement so he ran out, but if you see him,” He handed me a piece of paper with a string of numbers and an email. “Tell me. That is my number and email.” He does not say anymore and walks out the door, the bell signaling his departure.

_____________________________________________________________

When I got back, I told Damian what happened, he isn’t pleased and is currently pacing the floor.

“My guess is that he knows.” I sigh over my tea and stare sadly at the replaced window.

“No doubt.”

“You know I was rather hoping not to be having another visit from the Batman. What will happen when they find out that I know about the caped crusader thing.”

“He’ll either force into secrecy, turn you into a child crusader, or confine you to the manor.”

“So in other words no privacy.”

“None.”

“As lovely as that would be you told me this was temporary, so why can’t you go back?”

“At the Gala I was supposed to keep you entertained at the table so that we could trap you into to talking about those journals.” I knew it.

“So, you lied to me.” I look at him, faking shock and betrayal.

“It was for the sake of the investigation; I didn’t think that I would end up-.” He examines my expression and face palms. “What’s wrong with you.”

“I like to call it “I laugh in the face of danger” Syndrome, in a moment of despair I crave comedy.”

“You're worse than Grayson.”

“I like him, so I’ll let this one slide.” I sip the warm liquid feeling soothed at the pumpkin spice. “What are you going to do now?” Nightmare jumps on the table noticing my concern and waiting for his answer from me. He walks to the corner where he put his bag then went to the closet pulling out my suitcase. He then grabs his outfit Robin outfit from the coat rack and his other materials. “Get packed, we’re leaving. I’ll grab Nightmare’s things gab whatever you need. And I mean need, don’t pick it up unless it’s necessary.”

“What? I can’t just leave, what about my job? School?!” He Pulls out my backpack and puts some food in it. “Damian!”

“Just trust me, I’ll take care of it! I don’t want you tangled up in my family’s nonsense.” He looks at me something odd swirling in his eyes. “Please.”

“Fine,” I grab my suitcase and pack my box and my compiece which hasn’t gotten back to me on its progress. I throw a few sets of clothes. I open the box to make sure the journals, the scales, and everything else, then I hide it under the clothing and my laptop in the front pocket. I thank myself for making sure to get a suitcase that has a double use as a backpack. In the living room, Damian is all packed the bag is strapped across his chest and he’s holding Nightmare.

“Let’s go.” He hands me Nightmare and pulls me to the balcony. He pulls out and belts with a ring pultruded out on one side swiftly put it around me connecting the loop to his belt. “Hold on tight, and don’t let go till I tell you.” I Sling an arm around him and grip on to Nightmare, he doesn’t hesitate and shoots across the balcony with his grappling gun. I screw my eyes shut. And wait to stop, my heart beats wildly in my chest Nightmare begins purring maybe in hopes to soothe me. I feel something wrong, but it would mean I was away from the Crows. I’m running again, even if it’s not me who chose this it still feels wrong. Because in the direction he’s going it seems that we were leaving Gotham. And for some reason, I feel like it would be a while before I returned.

[leftonraed]

The Night We Met - Episode 7

pairing : Taehyung x OC  genre : bodyguard!au, singleparent!au, idol!au   word count : 5.9 k summary — Everything seems set fair for Taehyung and his niece, except you’re not in the picture much to their dismay. Warnings – smut scenes ahead, nothing too extreme I promise ;] Prologue | ep.1 | ep.2 | ep.3 | ep.4 | ep.5 | ep.6 | ep.7 

It must have been the tenth time Taehyung’s skimming his completed adoption request. His parents who arrived a little while ago let him have some peace and quiet in the short minutes they’ve got left before the hearing.  

His arms are resting on his knees and his hair hides his face from anyone walking down the large hallway. He relaxes his wrists, forcing himself to stare at anything else but the paper in his hands and calm his nerves.

He closes his eyes and tries to think of anything to disconnect from the noise of people buzzing around.

His mind takes him away for a moment, far enough to make his parents’ conversation nothing but a string of indistinct words. He’s being taken back to this morning, back to his earliest thought of the day – you.

He’d instantly conjured up a picture of you as soon as he had felt your arms wrapping around his body beneath the covers. His lips had stretched in a lazy smile while his hands slid down above yours. The feeling of your lips kissing the skin of his nape had thieved a soft groan of pleasure.

He’d turned around, taken his place between your legs, rubbing against their softness in slow moves before seeking your mouth blindly. You’d hugged him tight, answering his kiss just as zealously.

Taehyung isn’t sure how but he can still smell the scent your neck was giving off. It’s like you’re with him all over again.

The needy moan you had let escape once you had felt him pushing deeper within, had had him rolling his hips against yours for the first time, silently requesting more of those.  

The notion of your presence in his embrace was overwhelming. He couldn’t get enough of you.

He’d offered you some respite and buried his face in your neck and hair, thrusting harder, squeezing tighter, inhaling deeply as much as possible.

He could hear you, gasping by his ear while stifling you with his love. Your nails had dug in his back as his name had escaped you in a tired pant. He’d smothered you in a possessive and comforting hold as he had helped you ride out the sudden burst.

He’d followed closely, trapping his throaty grunts in your mouth with a demanding kiss while he was filling you up with more of himself.

Taehyung had never opened his eyes the whole time, he didn’t want to, he wanted to keep you here, underneath and stuck to him simply because it felt right.

Once the pleasurable feeling had worn off, he eventually blinked himself awake, only to be surrounded by a deafening silence and the absence of you.

He felt hot, exhausted and wet. The pillow was sticking to his face uncomfortably when he pulled himself up on his arms to glance down where you were supposed to be. He was left to discover himself in the mess you had driven him to make.

“Taehyung!”

He opens his eyes and looks up in surprise at the loud call from his father.

“You left the poor girl calling for you for a whole minute.”

He recognizes and finally acknowledges Hina’s teacher bent towards him. She had graciously accepted to take part in the hearing in his favor.

“Oh- Hum, I’m- I’m so sorry. I-”

“Don’t worry. I was telling your parents that I’d probably be elsewhere if I was in your shoes.”

“Right,” he trails, smiling awkwardly.

“Your face… It’s hum- a little red, are you okay?”

He shakes his hair in front of his eyes, hiding away in embarrassment, ineluctably forced to remember the last image he had of himself from this morning.

“You sure? You’re getting redder.”

Luckily, she’s cut off by Hina’s sudden burst of joy at his sight, who comes running their way under the smiles of his parents. Her grandparents are walking behind along with Choi Seoyoung.

Just as everyone is done greeting each other, the door leading to the adoption court judge opens welcoming everyone in.

********************************

Now reunited for good, it feels like the past three months away from each other never happened. Taehyung learns to cherish even more the moments in Hina’s company, indirectly ensuring himself he’s still a special place in her heart.

He makes time for her, from now on family will always come first. It took a couple of weeks for Hina to feel safe in his absence again and stop feeling like being him was going to be ephemeral.

On the other hand, Taehyung’s insecurities were directed towards his career, he struggled to make sense of his desires and priorities. Should I take a break? Should I quit? He still very much liked singing and writing music but one thing he was certain of, he’d need to make some changes in their interest.

One day Hina asked where you had gone and he realized all this questioning made him almost forget about you for the longest time ever.

After she had been taken away from him, he’d become aware he had no means to get in touch with you. He’d never needed your phone number because you had always been around. He’d never seen you use one when he came to think about it. He remembered the gym place you worked at but his touring abroad and busy schedule prevented him from visiting it right after you’d left.

He questioned one of the staff members in charge of human resources but the equipment had been improved and the data with any reference to you had been lost.

He just couldn’t believe it. In this day and age, he couldn’t find you. Just like this, you had vanished.

Hina was just as disheartened when he told her. She made him hate his helplessness all the more.  

*********************************

It’s the end of the year.

Parents and children are huddled in front of the school doors, talking animatedly. Taehyung keeps his distance as he ends his chat on the phone with his mother.

“I think I got it the first fifteen times you said it,” he whines. “I’ll give you 4K HD Hina, the singer. Don’t worry. I won’t miss a thing from it. No, still nothing. I don’t think I’ll- we’ll ever see her again. Hm… She tries her best, you know, to not be sad about it but- yeah… It sucks. You should’ve come with dad. It could’ve helped her cheer up a little... I know. Make sure he waits three hours before he takes those pills again.”

The afternoon sunlight is harsh on his eyes when he takes a look and he has to turn around. He’s on his own, save the two or three people lingering outside, on their phones as well.

“You know, your brother must be very thankful to have you.”

Taehyung smiles awkwardly at his feet, shifting his weight.

“I hope she’s not disappointed because it’s just me. I hope he’s watching too, she rehearsed very seriously.” He makes his mother giggle. “I listened to her so many times… I just might as well go and sing with them.”

“You’d look cute.”

“I hope you really don’t plan on doing that. That’s not what I came here for.”

Taehyung turns around instinctively when he hears the sudden voice behind him but the sun hits his face barely letting him see anything even with his eyes covered.

He frowns, blinking as his eyes adjust and freezes.

That dress, he wonders.

The stranger gets closer until the sun is fully hidden behind and Taehyung feels blessed with an even more dazzling view when he recognizes you.

“Mom, I- I’ll call you later.” He trails, locking his phone as he can’t look away.

“Hi,” you say.

You’re here. You came.

You stare back, breaking into a lopsided smile when he’s still not replying.

His mouth opens but nothing comes out.

You wait, the time needed for you to take him in after all those months away and appreciate how he’s changed.

It’s your first time seeing him looking this elegant and formal and it suits him. His hair looks a little shorter. You’re glad to find him doing much better than when you’d left.

Your name is the first thing that he eventually lets out. “You’re here.”

“Of course,” fixing your eyes on him with a soft smile. “I made a promise, remember?”

******************

Taehyung lets you lead the march after you’ve scolded him for making you two late. He finds himself glancing down at your hand holding his and at your back, staring shamelessly at the way the fabric hugs your flawless figure.

“It’s packed.” Your voice snaps him back in reality.

“Shit,” he mutters while looking around. “I promised her I’d sit in the front row.”

“This way,” you say but he doesn’t have time to react as you pull him strongly.

You find a bench on a high level.

“What are you doing? We’re all the way back now.”

“Stop whining and take my hand.” You say after climbing up the bench.

He listens and pulls himself up next to you. From this position, you can see the stage with no hindrance but it’s still quite distant.

The curtains are drawn and a group of toddlers is seen waiting behind. A few of them seem not to have moved away from their assigned position but most are either fooling around or look distressed, seeking their teachers and own parents.

Taehyung and you immediately find Hina, right in the center, standing tall and quiet as she skims the crowd. She slightly frowns when she still can’t see him after a third try until–

“Hina!”

She looks up and gazes further away where she’s heard the sudden call coming from. Her eyes widen at your sight.

You wave energetically ignoring the curious looks you’re drawing to yourself and Taehyung. He is staring as well, surprised. He looks back and feels warmth spreading in his entire being at her happiness.

“You can do this!”

Hina lifts her small arm to wave back, fighting the urge to run to you two.

“Yes, Hina! You can do this! Papa is so proud of you!”

“Thank you dad for your supporting words.” A voice suddenly announces in a microphone and laughter rises in the room making Taehyung turn a bright red while you stifle a chortle.

The voice continues, establishing silence, claiming the beginning of the show as the lights are dimmed.

He remembers to get his phone camera ready before the first notes echo. You never lose sight of Hina.

The children’s voices mingle in a surprisingly good harmony when the first lyrics are heard. You feel your heart thumping loudly in your chest as you listen to them, recognizing the lullaby you used to whisper to Hina so she’d fall asleep back during the trip.

Taehyung falters a quick second when you suddenly clasp your finger around his wrist. Making sure Hina’s still in the frame, he turns his head to look at you, noticing how emotional you’re getting.

***************

Less than an hour later, the show ends to thunderous applause. Taehyung guides you to the side where children come out to join their family. You don't have a chance to think of something to say to each other when you suddenly feel small arms wrapping around your knees in a tight embrace.

You instantly smile at Hina when you see her looking up delighted and crouch down to pick her up.

“Did you miss me?” You feel her nodding against your shoulder while she hugs your neck tight. “I missed you too. So much. You did so well back there. I really loved your singing.”

She leans back to look at you and holds your face to crash kisses all over your cheek under Taehyung’s jubilant gaze.

You put her down but she quickly catches your hand in hers and hugs one of his legs.

He pats the crown of her head and looks up at you. “I’m really glad you made it.”

You share a smile but get interrupted again as a small group of children comes surrounding you three.

“You’we Hina mommy?” asks a little girl, her neat ponytail swinging behind her.

Five pairs of eyes stare up at you in total amazement as small ‘ahhs’ and ‘ohhs’ are heard.

“Hina mommy is so beautiful!” Cheers a little boy, more excited than he should be.

“I’m not-” You begin, a little taken aback, looking for help from Taehyung but he only keeps smiling. He’s taking too much pleasure in seeing you flustered.

“I know.” Hina boasts with closed eyes.

A couple of looks lingers before one of them suddenly suggests playing elsewhere.

You decide to get out of the school when Hina complains about being hungry.

She peeks over his shoulder to ask, “you coming home with daddy and Hina?”

You meet Taehyung’s expectant eyes and your chest squeezes at their seemingly hopeful looks.

“I can’t, I’m sorry. I’ve somewhere to go.”

“I could drive you if you want,” he starts, tilting his head in the direction you guess his car is parked.

“Don’t bother, I-... You remember Shownu? I told him to come get me.”

They pout at the same time and it makes you chuckle lightly at their likeness though Taehyung tries not to look too affected. He’s hesitating and not so sure anymore about what he initially wanted to say.

Hina suddenly turns away from you to frown in his neck.

“What’s that?” He asks when he doesn’t understand her the first time. “You want _____ to come home with us?”

You gaze at the back of her head with a sad smile and meet his gaze in silence.

I’d like that too.  

“Seems like I was right, huh,” he snaps you out of your thoughts. “That dress looks really good on you.”

You look down, blushing a little and nod in agreement. Silence falls again between you. You don’t show any intention to go yet as Taehyung gets lost in his thought.

What are you waiting for?

“CanIgetyournumber?”

“What?” You cock your head.

“Your number? So we can see each other. I mean with Hina too.”

You nod, seemingly accepting his suggestion because the reason he mentioned is a self-evident fact. “Sure.”

You exchange your contact information and you eventually walk away much to his dismay. Hina finally decides to look back when you’re already so far away.

She frowns at your silhouette. “Hina sad.”

“Don’t be, baby,” he cups her cheek to kiss her other one. “We’ll see her again.”

**************************

You’re the one texting first and Taehyung’s glad you do when he’s too upset with himself for not finding the courage to do so. You agree to meet one night and make sure either of you doesn’t do anything the following day because Taehyung wants to invite you to his concert he’s currently holding in the biggest stadium of the country for the whole weekend.

When you arrive half an hour before the beginning, you’re taken to a corridor left inaccessible to fans that leads to a platform positioned in front of the stage and in the middle of the pit above the fans gathered around. You notice some curious look thrown your way.

There you get to meet the CEO of the company Taehyung works for along with some of his employees.

The show is a big hit.

You’ve felt it the first seconds after Taehyung was revealed and the audience roared impressively.

It all feels a little overwhelming but seeing him in this new light makes you feel all kinds of way. You recognize the man you’ve worked for but he seems so foreign. The aura coming from him is nothing you’ve seen before yet has you enticed through his moves, his looks, his voice.

The crowd leaves bit by bit. You remember him telling you to wait for him right where your seat was assigned to you, saying your goodbyes to his boss.

The venue is now empty, you go down the stairs and notice Taehyung down the corridor chatting with someone on his way up.

You exchange a smile.

You shorten the space between you, you watch him eye you from head to toe as his thumb grazes his bottom lip. You look away. He stops before he gets a whiff of your fragrance, eyelids heavy. You take his hand when he stretches it to you.

“I took some time cause I was showering.” He explains pulling you to the parking lot.

You climb in his car.

“You okay with eating out? We can always order something and eat at home if you’re too tired.”

He swivels the wheel with one hand, running the car out of the premises and making the powerful engine roar while looking at you. “Don’t worry about me.”

The silence between you is comfortable but the atmosphere feels heavy with secret intentions.

“I really liked the show by the way,” you say softly while keeping your eyes on the scenery passing by.

“Yeah?”

“Hm,” you turn your head towards him with a playful look. “But I still prefer Hina’s singing.”

“I have to admit, she rehearsed that song more than I ever did my whole discography.”

Dinner is nice and quiet. Taehyung isn’t fond of talking while eating and you're thankful, it allows you to enjoy the food and himself in a comfortable way.

*************************

You’re back in the car and driving away after you’ve agreed to go to his home and see Hina.

“I got my diploma. Last week.” You share, “I’m finally able to work as a personal trainer.”

“Really? Congratulations,” he genuinely exclaims while checking the rearview mirror. “That’s awesome.”

“Yeah, but for some reasons I’ve also managed to get a contract with a model agency? I don’t know where this is coming from.”

“Well, they simply saw potential in you. I mean your body is perfect- I-I- I mean you work hard to stay fit so… They’d miss out if they didn’t take you..” He trails, mentally slapping himself.

You simply smile to yourself.

************************

The door unlocks and you both see Hina and the babysitter he got for the night sitting in the living-room. As soon as Hina notices you, she darts your way to crash against your legs.

“________!!”

“You’re still awake?” Wonders Taehyung, looking down not to step on her toes.

You hug and lift her in your arms after getting rid of your shoes. You greet the young girl as Taehyung takes care of paying her. You hear her letting him know she tried everything in her power to get the little girl to bed as you sit down and cover Hina with kisses and sweet words.

The door closes a little after.

“Come here. Brush your teeth, go pee and right to bed.”

“No!” She challenges with a frown at him. “I staying with ________.”

He calls her name with a strict tone making her pout and you can’t help but hug her protectively.

“Let me take care of it,” you suggest softly to him.

You carry out her nighttime routine like you used to, noticing how independent she has become which makes you yearn younger Hina.

You let her lead the march to her room, meeting Taehyung on the way and chuckles when she closes the door to prevent him from interrupting your time together.

“Do you want me to read you a book?” You smile once she settles under her covers.

She shakes her head and reaches for your hand. You understand she wants you to lie next to her. You indulge without a word.

“_______,” her voice is already filled with sleep some time after you’ve started running your fingers through her silky hair. “You staying with Hina foweve’?”

You hum back.

“Daddy likes ______.”

You look down at her, smiling faintly.

“He says it a lot. Hina likes _______ mowe.”

You squeeze her gently against you.

“________?” She’s speaking more slowly now. “Pwomise... mommy staying with Hina... and daddy... foweve’.”

***************

“Sleeping?”

You noticed Taehyung’s already changed in his sleepwear. You nod while closing her door as quietly as possible. “Like a log.”

He stands up before you get the chance to get close to one of the couches and leads the way to his bedroom.

You wait at the doorstep, watching him browsing clothes inside his wardrobe while in the dark. He shuffles towards you, holding what looks like to be a silky pyjamas.

“I think this will do,” he trails. You take it, thanking him. “You can change here. I was going to open a bottle of wine. You want some?”

You shake your head.

Taehyung walks back in his room when you don't come out, holding one glass and minds turning off the lights on his way.

It takes him a couple of seconds to remark your silhouette on the other side of the curtains, standing in the balcony where you’re enjoying the weak, gentle breeze of this summer night.

He draws one curtain and immediately notices you’ve decided to do without the pants which pulls a knowing smile from him. It shouldn't surprise him. The shirt is long enough to work as a mini dress on you.

You look over your shoulder when you hear the door sliding. He’s staring longer than he’s meaning to but you find it adorable.

He comes to stand right by your side and takes a sip, looking for something to say.

“It’s so quiet.”

“You don’t like it.”

“You should put on some music.” You suggest, tilting your chin towards his phone in his pocket.

“What do you want to listen to?”

“I’m sure you got some exclusive sounds, I could brag about. It’s your chance to upgrade your raking.” You smile when you see him grin too as he goes through files. “You’re not working on anything?”

“I actually am. But it’s a secret for now. I’ve made... thirteen songs. But they’re still very rough. I don’t think we should listen to them.”

“Come on, you know I won’t judge you.”

He looks down with an embarrassed smile, frowning a little. “They’re really not good.”

“I’m not pressuring you. It’s just the two of us now.” You say softly, not breaking eye contact. “We can always find something else.”

He can’t hold your gaze long enough without feeling his face heat up. “Okay, I’ll share one or two.”

You look down at the streets when the first notes are heard, knowing he won’t want to meet your eyes.

“So where’s your manager?” You ask to ease his anxiety. You’re too aware of yourself trying not to sound too interested while keeping your gaze on the cars driving by. “I thought I’d see her at the concert.”

“Uh oh, we’re not working together anymore.” You hum in response. He explains,“conflicts of interests.”

You’re now hearing lyrics sung very softly, setting a comfortable atmosphere. “Does that mean…”

“Yeah, I’m basically managing myself.” He chuckles to himself, smiling a little at you. “I think there’s no other way if I want to live life the way I have in mind.”

You agree silently, not really knowing what to say back.

“I think she liked me. Too much.”

“You didn’t?”

“Of course I enjoyed being with her but not exactly for the same reason I think.”

The song is the only thing heard for a couple of seconds but Taehyung doesn’t seem to be minding it anymore.

“Are you and Shownu…?”

You instantly look up at him when you hear him mentioning his name and rephrase his question when he’s not finishing. “Are we a thing?” He nods slowly once. ”No. No, no, no. I mean he’s nice but... He’s not really… my type.”

He looks away, humming a quick acknowledgement. He finishes his glass. “What’s your type?”

You tilt your head away from him, smiling to yourself. His phone plays the second song.

“I wouldn't know how to describe it. I just know when I meet the person, you know?”

“Yeah, I- Me too.”

You hesitate a little before you speak again.

“Apparently,” you wait for him to look at you to show your innocent eyes. “You like me. A lot.”  

He smiles but doesn’t flee your gaze, “who told you that?”

“I can’t reveal my source,” you turn your head away, closing your eyes. You open one to see him looking at you, amused. “I can only say it has the figure of a…  little snoring cutiekins.”

He shakes his head to himself. “Of course.”

You find yourself staring at his gorgeous-looking profile, admiring the way his perfect hair falls around his face. “So… You like spending time with me?”

“It wasn’t obvious enough?” He gets shy again.

“Honestly, I can’t recall.”

“What?” He asks with surprise. “Are you being serious?”

“I mean, I was working for you. And we weren’t always on our own. Making assumptions about these things would have been wrong on my behalf. Especially with you. I didn’t want to risk my job.”

“I see.”

He looks down at his empty glass then back up at you when he hears you take in a deep breath.

“I also didn’t want to risk never seeing you or Hina ever again.”

You can see something kindle in his dark eyes, rendering you quiet and captivated. He doesn’t seem like he’s moving but you can definitely tell you’re both getting closer and closer.

“And now?” His voice sounds hopeful.

Your eyes gaze up and down, noticing his lips barely agape. “Now?”

You almost freeze when you feel his breath fanning you delicately. You both remain stagnant for a while which seems to last indefinitely, keeping yourselves apart from each other and foreign from what is to come if you were to give in to those tacit, forbidden desires.

Taehyung can feel his heart beating so vividly at the prospect of tasting your lips. You’re right there. Why is he suddenly feeling so bold? Why is he hesitating?

“_____-”

You don’t allow him to finish and choose to be the one to take the plunge.

The kiss is timorous at first, gentle, barely touching, yet ignites, as intimacy settles, a submerging feeling that diffuses into your two beings.

He’s the first to moan, you to grab onto him, each demanding more of that taste you can’t do without now that you’ve quickly come to like it.

You force yourself out of rapture with reluctance, testing the waters and it only draws him back in like a magnet, quietly surrendering to what you started.

His skin is soft against your face but his arms are strong around your back as they secure you against his chest. His scent overwhelms you, almost in a smothering way but it doesn’t feel wrong. It’s simply foreign. You’ve never got to smell so much of him this long, this strongly. You eventually moan in response.

Taehyung pushes his face harder against yours as a result, tilting your heads. He’s euphoric and he can feel it in his stomach, in his heart, in yours the longer he keeps you rooted against his body, sensing them pulsate in unison, frenzied.

You push back, blindly guiding him to one of the two reclining chairs he got settled for whenever good weather presents itself. He lets himself fall down but not too quickly, not if it means he’d have to break apart from you. You can feel him grip the back of your thighs and have your body straddling his.

You notice his mouth reaching again for yours when you eventually pull away for air. He allows you some respite, watching dazed as you rest your forehead against his, smiling to yourself a little.

When you open your eyes, you stare down at your hand beneath which his chest is heaving with desire.

You feel one of his hands reaching for your hip, under his borrowed shirt. Your eyes fall close again and your breath gets caught in your throat once spasms begin taking over your lower region because of the closeness of his touch.

“You okay?” His voice is barely above a whisper and you yearn for more of that intimacy.

You let out a shaky breath you weren’t aware of holding. “It felt good.”

His fingers squeeze you comfortingly. You meet his eyes and your core tightens on its own, hard. It’s dark out here and in spite of that you can see he’s craving you. So badly.

He drags his bottom lip between his teeth, impatiently.

Fuck.

“Kiss me, _______... Please.”

You stare back, fascinated by so much beauty and yearning. Your mouth falls agape and his eyes instantly glance down.

You chuckle lightly, “if someone saw us right now. You’d be in so much trouble.”

“I don’t fucking care.” He replies immediately, grabbing onto the nape of your neck. Your lips remain at a hair breadth from his now.

You never thought your self-control to be that easily challenged, you want to laugh at yourself. Who would’ve thought?

You poke your tongue to lick his bottom lip looking so inviting, leading him to capture your mouth in a deep kiss. You weave your fingers into his smooth locks, tugging them at the first caress of his tongue around yours.

Yes, you instantly think, fuck them all. This is what matters.

Your other hand takes his off your neck to have it latch on one of your breasts. He’s closing it gently around at the touch of it.

You break the sloppy kiss to trail wet pecks along his jaw and beneath his ear. You hastily unbutton the shirt. “Put your hands on me, Tae.”

He slides an arm around the small of your back at the sight of your bare torso for him to feast on and guides your crotch to push down against his.

Your heart suffers another sudden fit of palpitation at the feeling of his arousal pressing promisingly where you need it the most. His mouth is unsparing against your skin, kissing, licking, sucking it until it has you yielding to your own needs.

Taehyung stops and pants icy, hot air where his tongue wetted you at the feeling of your hips rocking with lustful urges.

He leans back on the chair, head thrown back with his eyes closed, relishing the delightful motions of your body.

“Oh… Fuck…” His nails dig in your ass the more you keep easing tension out of his hard shaft.

You tilt forward, closer, never stopping your sensual dance and he feels it. He gazes up at you under heavy lids, admiring the beautiful view of his shirt open on your naked chest, skin still moist with his saliva, nipples pointing enticingly.

He feels lightheaded.

You comb your hair back to allow yourself a view of the splendor that is Taehyung turned on.

You let out a small groan at the unexpected twitch of his cock. By now, you’re sure you’ve made an embarrassing mess of your panties and you’re also certain he can smell it.

You watch him reach for one of your breasts to suck on the sensitive nipple. You frown down at him, moaning as quiet as you can. He cranes his neck to lick his way up yours to your ear.

“You look great in my clothes.” You smile at his whisper.

“I want to see you too.”

He fulfills your wishes quickly, pulling the back of his tee-shirt above his head, serving you the tantalizing image of his muscular arms and shoulders. You bite your lip, sharing a smile and your hips pick up in pace.

You wrap your arms around his neck, cradling his head to your chest, while he hugs you to him tightly, looking into each other’s eyes. You’re both growing desperate.

“I want you so bad,” he can hear the hopelessness in your voice and it has him oozing more in his briefs. He never thought he’d ever hear you say those words to him. However, he hates how it reminds him of his neglect in equipping himself for the occasion. He never planned any of it.

He’s certain he doesn’t want to put an end to your bliss, not when you’re on top of him, ready to give yourself, not never.

Taehyung mouths at your cleavage, listening to the plethora of pleading escaping you the longer you keep rubbing yourselves together and struggles not to give in already.

The fresh breeze is long forgotten now, it feels hot and sweaty against his body but you’ve passed your point of no return. He’s felt your body becoming tense, seeking the peak of pleasure.

You manage to grunt in between gasps. “... Close…”

“Yeah?” He wonders quietly, trying to keep you on your stimulus.

You furrow your brow, seeing him gazing back with so much adoration it catches you unawares, triggering intense pleasure washing over you in waves. He helps muffling you, comforting your shaking body.

The forceful press of his erection overstimulates you in good pain. Your arms are tight around his shoulders, helping you root yourself while the final tremors wear off.

You don’t want to move away. He doesn’t want to let go either.

He reluctantly moves his arms only when he feels you trying to lean back. He breaks into a shy chuckle but you capture his lips in a needing kiss. You’re quickly out of breath.

“You’re shaking,” he trails softly. You weren’t even aware of it, lost again in his mesmerizing looks. “Was it okay?”

You nod subtly, cupping the back of his head to bring your faces closer. “Yeah… You?”

“Don’t worry about it.” You answer his gentle kiss. “Let’s go inside.”

***********************

You wake up alone in the gigantic bed, almost engulfed in the mess of sheets and thick covers. Yes, even in summer they’re of use, if you get to spend a night in his bedroom.

Your mind is fuddled, partly because of the short night you had but it’s also quick to remember flashes of it, having you musing on them with a blushing face.

You sit up and locate his tee-shirt, his borrowed shirt, your panties, his briefs thrown across the floor and your abashed smile comes again.

You’re walking down the corridor and can’t shake away the strangeness of it now that you’re seeing his home in broad daylight many months after, not as his bodyguard but as you. You stop before either Taehyung or Hina can notice your presence and take your time watching them be around each other, the way it was meant this whole time.

Your gaze travels from Hina’s back facing you to him and you mindlessly begin biting your lips, gawking at him working in the kitchen, attending to her needs and just being the best person for her. His messy hair and bare chest are a bonus.

He’s a natural. Your chest tightens at the sight of him and at the thought of it.

A heavy sigh escapes you.

“Mind joining us?”

You get startled by his voice and find them looking at you with big smiles. You shake your head to yourself.

Hina is elated raising her arms in the air from her seat for you to indulge into a tight hug. You don’t forget to kiss her cheek, unable to keep yourself from grinning from ear to ear at her sudden burst.

You sit on the stool across her where a bowl of rice and a full glass of orange juice have been placed. She can’t take her eyes off of you. You mind the frying pan he’s holding as he shakes a fried egg on top of the rice.

“‘Morning you,” he trails in a deep voice. He swiftly steals a kiss and walks away naturally.

You remain stunned a couple of seconds, processing the sudden gesture until you find Hina stifling a titter in her small hands.

[watch-grok-brainrot]

Wei Wuxian and Chinese Virtues of 忠孝仁义

There’s a lot of conversation about Wei Wuxian and how he struck out on his path without a concern for the Jiangs; about how he’s reckless and not giving a sh*t about his role within his society; about how he had a family and siblings and threw it all away for his sense of right and wrong. But the way I read his actions is within the context of the virtues of 忠孝仁义 (and how the virtues, especially 义, is ingrained in him via the Jiang sect motto). WWX’s major decisions can all be read as him acting in accordance with one or more of these virtues. Even when WWX is being his most irreverent self (and yes he’s rude and bring about a lot of second hand shame) he still remembers the we-self (to borrow from baoshan-sanren’s post) context as the head disciple of the Jiang Sect. Even when he seems to abandon everything, he didn’t abandon his understanding of these virtues. 

First of all, let’s talk about 忠. 忠 (zhōng) is loyalty, devotion, fidelity. I usually associate the concept with loyalty towards your country but it can be applied to other units too. In the case of CQL where we don’t see an Emperor or country, it would only make sense that this concept be applied to either a person (e.g. SuShe at JGY) or a sect. 

Tangent, feel free to skip: An (maybe THE) embodiment of this virtue is 岳飞 (Yue Fei), one of THE MOST famous Chinese generals. Yue Fei lived during the second half of the Song dynasty. He loved his country so much, he wrote poetry about drinking his enemy’s blood and eating their flesh (壮志饥餐胡虏肉，笑谈渴饮匈奴血) and taking back his country’s lands and saving the two previous emperors from being POWs. He is famous for the tattoo of the words “尽忠报国” (exhausting all loyalties to replay country aka i will be loyal and fight for my country until i die) on his back bestowed by his mother before he left home. When he was unjustly executed for treason, the executioners saw that on his back and the people knew a great man was wronged.  

(if anyone wants a translation of the poem and a rambly share about some of my favorite Yue Fei  related facts/stories, let me know. Otherwise, i’m gonna get back to our favorite necromancer)

So back to WWX. His loyalties are very much with the Jiang sect.  After JFM and YZY dies, within the structure of 忠, Jiang Cheng is effectively who he needs to be loyal to because Jiang Cheng is the sect leader and essentially the symbol of the sect. The act of giving up his core to JC, then, embodies the idea of loyalty within the context of 忠. (I’ve seen memes about how WWX gave consent, WQ gave consent, but JC didn’t. drwcn has a great post about consent. For this post, i’m not going to go into it because this is outside my defined scope.) Furthermore, 忠 compels WWX to protect the Jiangs. I’ve read meta that thinks WWX was trying to get himself killed based on the crossing of his hanfu and his mouthing off at Wen Chao. I’m inclined to believe that reading because if dying means JC would never find out, so be it. And as long as WWX is dead, there will be no evidence of the core transfer so JC would never lose face before other cultivators. It would mean the Jiang sect can be rebuilt to its old status without being tainted by WWX’s sacrifice. 

Ok, next is 孝. 孝 (xiào) is most often translated as filial piety. I don’t think there is a good sense of it in western culture. In chinese culture, it is the expected deference younger generations need to display to elders in their direct lineage. [Note: i use lineage because you can be 孝 towards your biological parents and grandparents, your kungfu master and their master, your adopted/honor bound parents, etc but not to everyone who is in a higher generation. It’s very family/lineage based.] 孝 is complicated because it’s ingrained into Chinese kids at a really young age. Go pour your grandparents tea. Go give your grandparents a back rub. Listen to your parents. When your parents get old, you’ll take care of them. Respect your elders. Even if your elders are wrong, don’t talk back. It’s a set of emotions that tie you to your ancestry. To turn your back on it feels like turning your back on your culture and identity. 

Tangent, feel free to skip: Ok, this is really cool and I had to share. In looking up 孝 in the online xinhua dictionary, it says about the etymology: “形声。从老省，从子。” This is so cool! We have two characters: 老 (old, as in Yiling Laozu) and 子 (child). You’ll notice 孝 is a character where to top part of 老 is taken and 子 essentially follows. This character is a style of character where the meaning comes from the structure of the character. So 孝 is where the children follow the old, often blindly and with disregard of their own needs. 

WWX, as an orphan, can only direct his 孝 towards Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan. 1) No matter how awful they were as parents, JFM and YZY raised WWX. 2) WWX is the head disciple. That means JFM is his shifu. [He calls JC his shidi and JYL his shijie for that reason.] That teacher-disciple relation is often described as “一日为师,终生为父” (a teacher for one day should be treated like a father for life). Both 1 and 2 bind WWX to the Jiangs regardless of his adoption status. So, when on the boat YZY and JFM tell WWX to take care of JC and JYL, it’s the order of an elder in his direct lineage. To not listen, to not defer to that order would not be 孝. Considering they perished at Lotus Pier, WWX was obligated to execute those orders to their fullest whatever the price (i.e. golden core). 

Along those same lines, out of 孝 (and human decency, tbh) WWX and JC had to retrieve JFM and YZY’s bodies. Wen Ning helping them out in that situation is a HUGE favor. Not to mention all the other things WN and Wen Qing does for them. I will get to the favors and their ramifications later. 

Ok, moving on to 仁. 仁 (rén) is most often translated as benevolence or humanity. (I want to say I find the translation of humanity very interesting from a bilingual child’s perspective because the chinese character for person/human is 人 which is also rén. I got the concept confused a LOT.) 仁 is found in the love and kindness shown towards fellow humans. Ctext often translates it as virtue, which is a bit too broad, IMO. I think this line from Confucian Analects explain the concept succinctly: 

樊遲問仁。子曰：”愛人”

Fan Chi asked about benevolence [仁]. Confucius said, "It is to love all men." 

WWX embodies this love better than everyone else in the story (except maybe LSZ but LSZ probably gets it from WWX). WWX meets stuttering WN and acknowledges him, offers to give advice, and truly sees the younger man. He treats WN with kindness and friendship (and yes, he takes advantage of WN’s willingness to push him around in a turnip wagon but that’s more shenanigans). WWX also sees the Wens at Phoenix Mountain as human and steps out of line to help them.  His blindfolded five arrow show stems out of his 仁. His saving Mianmian is also an expression of his 仁. So many of WWX’s actions stem from 仁. A lot of the fandom see it as his empathy and I agree! It is that! But it can also be viewed as his internalization of the virtue to love humanity. 

Finally, 义. 义 (義,yì) is actually the reason this ENTIRE post came to be. 义 is the same 义 as  Yi City. I offer the traditional version of the character above so you can see how it compares to the stone on the way to Yi City. You will recall when WWX says Yi City, LWJ asks, “Yi, which means chivalrous?” And WWX explains same character but for coffin/mortuary in this case. 

Actually, 义 is used in a lot of words: 

正义- correct/rigit + 义 =  righteousness

意义 - ideal + 义 = meaning

侠义 - knight -errant + 义 = chivalry

义气 - 义 + air = personal loyalty; code of brotherhood

名义- name + 义 = nominal

义父 - 义 + father = sworn father (this is a difficult to translate idea that sometimes i translate as godfather for simplification and cultural parallelism. it’s a parent figure that you acknowledge via vows. If the character for father is replaced with brother, then it’s the relationship that the 3zun have. And OMG i want to talk about the 3zun and romance of 3 kingdoms and how much of a awful un-义 person JGY is… but also holy out of scope batman)

In the case of virtues/morality, we’re looking at 义气 - the 义 that means loyalty to people and a code of brotherhood. The Jiang Sect ancestor is described as a 游侠 (yóu xiá, wandering hero). The ancestor’s identity as a 侠 (xiá), which indicates a highly skilled martial artist/fighter who will defends others (à la wuXIA and xianXIA), places him within the world of 江湖 (jiāng hú, sometimes translated as rivers and lakes or “pugilistic world” in some wuxia subtitles). In 江湖, 义 is the most important virtue. Based on 义, you help those in need. You stand out and do what is right. You are an outlaw that follows a strict moral code. 义 is the foundation of the Jiang Sect’s motto. Furthermore, the idea of 义气 can in some ways be viewed as currency. You do me a favor, I owe you one. You treat me with decency, I return the favor. You DO NOT return kindness with ill intent. It is taboo. 

WWX exemplifies 义. 义 is part of what makes him so lovable and reckless. For 义 , he sticks out his neck for LWJ during Wen Summer Camp. For 义, he follows LWJ to search for the Yin Iron. Under 义 , he is free to be the hero who lends a hand whenever it’s needed. Oftentimes, 仁 and 义  go hand in hand because to stand up and stand out for other requires love of others and seeing their humanity. 

So let’s get back to the Wen remnants: for 义, WWX must protect WN and WQ. As I mentioned before, WN and WQ had done WWX and JC (and thus the Jiang Sect as a whole) MULTIPLE HUGE FAVORS. 1) saving JC from Wen Chao at Lotus Pier. 2) retrieving JFM and YZY’s bodies. 3) transferring the golden core against WQ’s best judgement. All of these actions are so vital to the survival or the reputation of the Jiang Sect. WWX knows it. I’m positive JC knows it.  To turn their backs on WN and WQ would be 不仁不义 (neither 仁 nor 义). Really, the ONLY thing they should be doing from the perspective of 义 is helping the Wens to repay their kindness. But WWX knows, as the head disciple, that JC cannot afford to align the Jiang Sect in sympathy with the Wens because it’s political suicide. The Jiang Sect WILL NOT SURVIVE if Nie, Jin, and Lan all turn against them. Even if Lan stood neutral, Nie and Jin would still be able to wipe out barely rebuilt Jiang. 

So what does WWX do? He has already painted himself as a rebel, as rude, as ill bred. And from an outsider looking in, WWX is in alignment with his slippery descend into darkness. WWX knows if he steps just a little more out of line, he can accomplish everything else his morality dictates. (We could talk about WHY WWX feels like it’s ok for him to give up everything and analyze WWX’s self worth and what not. But that’s also outside the scope of this post and i’m pretty sure other people have done a better job of it than I could.) 

Save the Wens, run away to the Burial Mounds, and defecting are all aligned with WWX’s morals. Defecting protects JC and the Jiangs sect in an act of loyalty (忠). Defecting also protects JC and JYL, thus fulfilling the filial piety toward YZY and JFM’s instructions (孝).  Saving the Wens returns the debt of 义 that JC and WWX owe to WN and WQ. Saving the Wens also appeal to WWX’s sense of 仁 towards the non-cultivators. Lastly, protecting the Wens means JC does not end up 不仁不义. From WWX’s perspective his actions are the only option for him to really have no regrets when he asks his heart. 

[justafandomfollower]

Thoughts on Stargirl S02E01

Season 2 is here! So, I watched the first episode last night and, while I don’t often do this for TV shows I watch, wanted to share/write up my thoughts about the episode. I mean, overall, I thought it was really good and I was grinning like a loon to see the familiar characters back onscreen. But, more than that, I had some thoughts on individual characters.

First, I really really liked the way they handled Courtney’s “overworking” as Stargirl. A lot of other shows would have the debate about how being Stargirl is dangerous and she’s just a teenager, etc., etc. But they hashed that out last season, and they’re not bringing it up again here, which should be the bare minimum but ends up just being refreshing. Pat never says she needs to put away the staff (except for that last bit where he grounds her, and even that’s temporary). Instead, he cautions her to find a balance between the superhero and non-superhero parts of her life, to pass her classes, get good grades, get some sleep, learn to take breaks every now and again, and think about her future.

I do think Courtney will ultimately be proven right about the threats that are out there (I mean, duh, we saw Cindy and Eclipso right there), but nothing Pat said was wrong, or telling her that there were no threats. So, yeah. Big fan of that part. As for Green Lantern’s daughter, while Courtney was her usual “act first, think later” self, I also kind of can’t blame her, because someone did sneak into their house and steal important JSA relics. There were faults on both sides here.

The rest of my thoughts I’ve thrown under a read-more because it’s long and rambling:

I’m pretty solid and happy with where the other three JSA kids are at the moment, but I figured I’d still break it down a little.

Yolanda: I like that she’s struggling with what she did, even months later. I like that she knows she can’t say anything at church, I like that she’s still able to talk about it with Courtney, and I like that Courtney was supportive without outright agreeing with or condemning her actions. It’s a tough thing for kids to talk about, and while an experienced adult like Pat might be able to understand it better, I like that Yolanda’s not completely bottling it up.

On that note, though, they said Cindy might have gotten crushed when the satellite came down, “like Brainwave”, so there’s a possibility here that nobody else knows what Yolanda did, which’ll be interesting to see play out, if that’s true.

Rick: Again, I like where he’s at. He’s more confident in who he is, a little more settled, but also still lost. He claims Tyler as his name again and knows he’s a hero, but he doesn’t know where he goes from here. I think that’s part of why he’s seeking out Grundy, because he’s still clinging to that part of his past because he doesn’t have any clue of what’s in his future.

He’s still very much an angry teenager new at being a superhero, ranting to that teacher about how he saved her, but knowing his character (and acknowledging how crappy that teacher was), I can’t entirely blame him for that. Was it a good move? No. Did it make sense? Absolutely.

Speaking of that teacher, she was not a good one. Can I understand her wariness about the bad boy of the school suddenly getting every answer right? Sure. But, 1) it’s been months, so surely there’s been some gradual improvement, 2) that’s not the way to do it; talk to him about it, sure, but don’t refuse to accept his explanations, and 3) refusing to accept his name change is a jerk move that a figure of authority shouldn’t be making. I could wave away the first one from TV-time-skipping-magic, but not the other two. I don’t really think we’ll see this character again (but maybe in summer school), but she’s more of a vessel to show us 1) how Rick’s changed and 2) how the way others see him hasn’t, so, I suppose, in that regard, she did her job.

Beth: It’s neat that the goggles still seem to be (mostly) working, but it’s the AI that’s not functioning. Not the route I’d thought they’d go, but it’s really interesting because it gives Beth a chance to expand her skill set, or at least expand it to the viewer, and give her a role as a coder/computer scientist. It also doesn’t cheapen the “death” of the AI that happened last season.

Also, like the others (Rick at school with the teachers, Courtney and Yolanda having a discussion in the middle of main street, even Pat with STRIPE), she’s not great at hiding her activities. They’re just goggles, maybe, and she could explain them away fairly easy, but I don’t like the way she just leaves them out around the house. I’m okay with it for now because 1) she’s a teenager, still learning, and they are pretty innocuous, 2) some of it’s probably just TV “requirements”, like not wanting to cut from scene to scene or whatever (idk, I’m not in the TV business), and 3) her parents seem pretty clueless.

And speaking of her parents, man did I not like them even more this season. Every time I saw them on screen my mind went straight to: “good people, terrible parents”. Did they ever even want a kid, or did they just like the idea of having a kid to fit into their “perfect lives” until even that wasn’t enough to keep them together? They’re barely aware of what Beth does on a day to day basis, she still seems to be the one doing all the cooking, and they forget to tell her they’re coming home late? Bad parenting, and selfish parenting at that.

Overall, my mood about Beth this episode can be summed up like this: Do I like Beth struggling? No. Does it open up possibilities for what could be a really intriguing character arc? Yeah.

My biggest complaint about our JSA is that there weren’t really any scenes of them together, but that’s more of the time constraints of having so many characters we needed to get concrete information on regarding where they stand. They had that nice patrol scene in the beginning to let us know they’re all still solid friends, so I’m happy enough with that for now.

Other thoughts:

Barbara wasn’t really in it much (no mention of her job, though the newspaper article did say something about The American Dream going through changes after the death of its leader or something like that), but I can sympathize with her wanting a vacation and not getting one. It’ll be interesting to see how okay she is with Courtney as Stargirl as things get more dangerous.

Mike, likewise, wasn’t much present, but it’s clear he’s still struggling to be a part of things. Pat wasn’t wrong, when he said that the discipline, etc. from having a job was important, but it still feels like he’s brushing Mike aside and not letting him be involved, so I can see some more resentment brewing this season. Better than last season, but c’mon Pat. Mike just wants to help. Still, hopefully we’ll get a better idea of where Mike stands in future episodes.

Artemis. Really interesting the way she brushed aside her parents being in jail as them being wrongly convicted. I’ve seen Young Justice, so I’m looking forward to seeing if they turn her into a villain or hero here.

Zeek. (Is that how he spelled it? It looked like that on his hat.) I’m, probably unnecessarily, wary of how interested he was in working with Pat at the show (does he know something?) but for now I’m mostly just mildly amused at his “I don’t care what you do on your time, but hey, do you think that robot could use a flamethrower?”. Also. Pat. C’mon man. You’ve been in this business for decades. Hide your robot better. (Though, I’ll admit, he was only resigned when he realized Zeek had found it, so... Did he have an excuse ready? Did he just not read Zeek as a threat? I’m probably reading too much into this, but it’ll again be interesting to see where it goes.)

Cameron’s back, seemingly unaware of everything, and it looks like his murderous grandparents are taking care of him. Not great, but, eh, we’ll see what happens.

Sylvester is still tracking down Pat. I’m a little bit glad the landlord either didn’t give him, or didn’t have, Pat’s information from that end scene last season. I’m also interested to see if Maggie (Mike’s Mom, if my understanding of comics I haven’t read is correct) sticks around. Sylvester seems supremely unworried and in a mostly good mood, despite his desire to track down Pat, so I really want to know what’s up with him. I’ve seen some fan theories of time travel and him being a displaced Starman, which could be interesting, but I have no idea if they’re accurate. He certainly seems to be the real deal, at least with all the right memories.

Cindy and Eclipso. That opening scene was creepy, and made me question if I’d turned on the right show, and the connection with the McNider family is really interesting. Did not like the way she had Mike’s picture, but from a writing POV I really liked it. I don’t want Mike to go villain, but I mostly trust the writers to see how this plays out.

Other thoughts: The town seems to have moved on from the mind control/satellite-dish-from-the-football-field thing, so I’m guessing there weren’t too many causalities. New principal makes sense, and I like that they didn’t need to shove it in our face to remind us what happened to the old one (plus that scene where Courtney bumps into her kid; nice and simple and shows a little of how he’s coping). I appreciate that Henry hasn’t been forgotten. No glimpse of Yolanda’s home life yet, or Rick’s uncle. No idea how Rick managed to change his name, but the threat he was hiding from is more or less gone, so it makes sense.

I may have forgotten something here or there, but anyone who’s made it this far deserves a cookie, so, thanks for reading! I’m always up for discussion if anyone wants to add on or debate any of my points.

[fayevalcntine]

can we talk about how over the course of her relationship with logan, rory is more or less conditioned to just be okay with everything he does?? whenever she expresses displeasure or disapproval with him he gets upset and persuades her into not being upset??? and it happens like. every single time. she’s a bit more resistant when he cheats, but even then he throws a tantrum until she agrees to forgive him. (1/2)

like in s5 when he tells her to come over without mentioning he has friends over (and then ignoring her all night), or in s6 when he goes over to the pool house and invites a bunch of friends over without her permission, even when he cheats, or fucks off to vegas in s7. she gets upset but he convinces her that her side of things doesn’t matter, and she’s never allowed to develop past that.

Yeah, Rory just has to let so many things be his way in their relationship and whenever they're not, or she even simply disagrees with him about something, it always has to be his way otherwise he'll get upset and argue with her until she relents or he'll leave if she doesn't back down.

Logan's main problem in their relationship, even when he seemingly doesn't have it in season 7, is that he just doesn't know how to properly communicate with Rory. Specifically, he doesn't want to hear her side or he simply won't accept her side as one with valid arguments against his own, like when they have a fight at the bar after Jess leaves, and she tells him how he (very accurately) possesses more opportunities in his lifetime than so many other people have, even her. Another example that is similar to this is when he's so personally offended by her article about rich people that he feels the need to bring up her own family's wealth and how he's "just like him" in terms of having money and opportunities. But even if Rory does have that, why exactly should she not criticize wealthy people and their behavior that stems from that? And on what ground does Logan get to stand on to tell her that she shouldn't write such an article simply because her grandparents have money and are more than happy to use it for whatever they wish? In both scenarios, Logan takes to victimizing himself over his family's money and influence and how he so blatantly uses it, while at the same time considering himself someone who has no opportunities outside from the one role his father has planned out for him (despite the fact that said role is such a significant one and he's going to be starting off with a vastly bigger step than other people by literally inheriting a company). I will have to at least give him credit for going to talk to her after they have the latter fight, but I hate that his fans view this as such a significant moment over someone acknowledging Rory's privilege as if Logan has any ground to stand on when it comes to that.

In the scene where Rory shows up to find him playing cards with his friends, I can never understand fans loving it when Rory was pretty clear on wanting to meet up with him to talk to him personally. And he doesn't even allow her that because he spends the entire night talking to his friends while playing, even though he knew she likely wanted some time with him alone. The scene itself might not be this significant since they're not officially involved yet, but it's so foreshadowing in how Logan's general attitude towards Rory's requests can be. Whether it's him controlling the setting that Rory comes in or him basically telling her to drop everything and go with him to New York on a whim, or even inviting his friends over to the pool house with a European girl that is a complete stranger and speaks no English, Logan only seems to do whatever he wants to do without taking her feelings or plans into consideration. This can even be pointed out in how he relentlessly pursues her after he decides he wants her back, despite the fact that he was the one who "broke up" with her through his own sister in the first place. And he doesn't take no for an answer from her until she gives in, even going so far as to go and pester Lorelai about it when whether or not Rory wants to take him back is her own decision, not her mother's.

I hate the cheating thing, it's the most irritating and idiotic thing Logan ever did and even if you take his side and not consider it cheating, it's beyond fucked up that he knew that the girls he hooked up with would be at the wedding and that Rory could easily bump into them, never mind the fact that he left her in a room with them while they were preparing for the wedding. I hate how the show again frames all these girls as flighty and promiscuous, therefore distrustful (Logan even takes to calling them "vipers" as if they're personally out to get him), when if anything else it's his fault that he didn't even tell her? He should've been honest about sleeping with them while they were apart, and even if he didn't consider it cheating, it vexes me so much how he never even takes Rory's feelings into consideration at all here. 

LOGAN: I've not even thought about another girl. RORY: Except for Walker, Alexandra... LOGAN: We were broken up, Rory. RORY: No, you were. LOGAN: I thought we were broken up. I thought that's what the fight was. I thought that's what the separation was. Do you believe me? Do you believe that I honestly thought we weren't together? RORY: I guess. LOGAN: So then, if you believe that, that I thought we weren't together, then do you believe that, in my mind, I was not cheating on you? RORY: I guess.

He doesn't apologize for not telling her, he doesn't apologize for hurting her feelings, he doesn't even give her any space when it's clear that she wants to be alone at Paris's. He corners her and gives her an even dumber version of Ross's "we were on a break!" routine, only by saying that in his mind it wasn't cheating because he thought they were broken up. Again, he doesn't take Rory's side into consideration at all here, especially since he personally decided they were broken up instead of it being a mutual one. What I especially hate after all of this is that Rory is understandably still bitter over it, seeing as how she wasn't even allowed to be angry, and when she becomes passive-aggressive towards him, he takes to being the victim again.

LOGAN: [...] You haven't forgiven me. RORY: What are you talking about? LOGAN: For the girls I was with when we were separated. RORY: I said I forgive you.  LOGAN: Yeah, you said it, but you haven't, though. You haven't. I'll be at the pub. 

In this entire scenario, Rory’s viewed as unjust and unfair towards Logan, and only his feelings are taken into account when it comes to her unresolved anger. And of course, Rory’s feelings are even further unresolved and never mentioned beyond this episode because Logan (conveniently) almost dies on his trip with his friends, which prompts Rory to feel guilty and immediately take to his side to nurse him back to health. Rory’s never allowed to process through her feelings over the cheating argument, and she’s never even allowed to see her feelings as justified because again, Logan never told her about it. For even the most practical reasons, he should’ve at least mentioned that he wasn’t exactly celibate during their time apart. 

It’s telling how even with his improved behavior in season 7, Logan still doesn’t tell Rory the truth about why he ran away to Vegas with his friends until after he comes back. It’s baffling that we’re suddenly supposed to accept him telling his father that he doesn’t want to work for him anymore and is set upon improving himself for the course of over 2 episodes, before he yet again, makes the decision himself to propose to Rory when he never even discussed marriage with her before that. And not only does he propose, but he does so right in front of her family and friends at her own graduation party. I don’t think I need to explain how public proposals are pretty manipulative if they’re done suddenly and without the approval of both parties for it. Logan’s decision being that he breaks up with Rory as soon as she makes her answer clear that it’s no, because she wants to live her life after just having finished university, just makes the before-mentioned ‘development’ that he was given fall flat to me. Yes, it’s great that he’s decided to make something of himself outside of his own family’s influence, but this comes right near the end of the season without us seeing him even think about it or consider it before that, and even after this, he still takes to only doing what he thinks is right and doesn’t take no for an answer from Rory. 

[stahlop]

Making a Memory (8/?)

Sorry that this is a day late, but I had a tough time with this one too. My characters would not cooperate. Its like they have minds of their own. This is the shortest chapter, but a lot happens, so I think you all will be happy about it.

Thank you to my betas @profdanglaisstuff​ and @thisonesatellite​ for helping me with my writers block.

And thanks again to @gingerchangeling​ for her artwork.

Chapter 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Ao3

Everyone was staring at the dirt road and the signs that had just appeared before them. Henry had never been so happy to have everyone else see the Welcome to Storybrooke sign in his life. 

“Henry?” Hope’s voice sounded small. Her eyes were wide in disbelief about what she was seeing. Who wouldn’t be when a random town sprung up right in front of you? “Where did those signs come from?” She couldn’t take her eyes off of them. The blue irises flitted back and forth between the welcome sign and the unmistakable back of the leaving sign.

“It worked!” Answered Alice in awe! “It actually worked! I can’t believe Storybrooke is actually real!” 

But it was his mother and father’s reactions that Henry was most interested in. 

They both stood there astonished at what had appeared before them. Emma’s brow had furrowed as if trying to make sense of everything, even though she’d admitted just moments ago that magic might be real. Killian looked almost frustrated, like there had to be some explanation as to why the signs for a town had just appeared from thin air.

“Can we go in?” Alice was bouncing up and down excitedly. Henry knew she wanted to see the town she’d just read about in Henry’s book. Meet the people. Meet her family.

“We can, but you need to remember that we won’t be recognized. Gothel’s curse erased us from their memory. The Evil Queen adopting me and Emma being the Savior is not what they remember.”

Emma and Killian both looked at Henry with a questioning look on their faces. Right, he’d told them that their memories had been altered, but hadn’t gone into detail about the fact that the town was inhabited by fairy tale characters. Of course they’d think him mad when talking about things like the Evil Queen.

“What do they think happened?” Alice asked, not picking up on the adults strange looks.

“From what I could gather, it’s just a sleepy town in Maine. No magic, no curse, just people living their lives.” Henry stated sadly.

“You’ve been back.” Alice stated, it was not a question. Henry nodded.

“I’ve been back about once a year. There’s been no signs that they know who I am or that I used to reside here.” He said morosely, remembering how he had walked down the main drag only a month after they’d left to see the havoc Gothel had left behind, and had found just the normal, idyllic town that he’d grown up in with no magic or fairy tale characters to speak of. “They just think I’m a writer who comes here for the peace and quiet of small town life to write.” Alice patted him on the back and smiled sadly at him.

“Henry!” Three voices shouted at him in unison startling both himself and Alice, who had also seemed to have forgotten that there were somewhat non-believers in their midst.

“Um,” Henry began, not really sure where to start, “so, welcome to Storybrooke.” He spread his arms as if welcoming them to his home and gave a nervous smile. 

“Storybrooke?” Emma asked wide-eyed. She studied the sign, as if it might tell her something more than the name of the town.

“Look. There’s a lot to explain.” Henry said heading over to the campsite which was situated next to the large boulder right next to the now unveiled border. “Mom. Killian. If you two will follow me in Killian’s car, I’ll take the girls in mine and I know a little bed and breakfast we can stay at where, I promise, I’ll explain everything.” He looked over at his mom and father who were still looking at the sign with a mixture of awe and disbelief and they both nodded. Emma’s mouth was still agape. He’d seen this look from her a few times, most famously when they’d walked in on his grandparents ‘napping’ after Emma and Snow had returned from the Enchanted Forest. That look of shock and disbelief. When Henry had figured out why she was so appalled years later, well, let’s just say tacos had a much different meaning after that. Killian’s mouth was in a straight line, and his jaw set off his tell-tale tick that there was something going on that frustrated him. Henry used to see it all the time when trying to explain a piece of technology that he didn’t understand. Henry’s heart almost ached at the notion that they would never again have that type of bonding conversation, the memories in his brain having filled in all the gaps he didn’t know about before.

Before either parent could object, Alice had already grabbed Hope’s hand and dragged her into Henry’s car. Henry made a beeline for the driver side door, and made a mental note to come back for the camping gear once everyone was settled in later tonight.

He took a deep breath before crossing over the border, even though he’d made this trip before. He now had his sisters with him and his parents following. It was finally happening!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What was even her life? 

A few days ago, Hope had been a blissfully ignorant 13, almost 14-year-old, just enjoying life at camp, and having a rivalry between herself and her doppelganger. And now, apparently, she was one half of a cursed twin set, destined to take down an evil sorceress. Because there was really no denying it now that the Welcome to Storybrooke sign was blatantly staring her in the face. There was no way this could all be some elaborate hoax. Henry definitely didn’t have the resources to pull off something like this. The only explanation for it was magic. And if there was truly magic, then everything else he’d told her about their past over the last few days had to be the truth as well. And the magic that had come from her fingertips helped solidify everything as well.

It was real. Storybrooke was real. And Hope had no idea what to do with that information.

They wound their way towards the town, and for a moment, Hope wondered if she’d imagined the signs and the red line showing them the border of the town, but as they drove down the wooded road, Hope started to see signs of life around them. A random house here or there hidden in the trees. Laundry hanging on clotheslines. And then there it was, right in front of them. 

Storybrooke.

Hope wasn’t sure what she was expecting. Henry’s book had described it as an idyllic, little seaside town, with a bed and breakfast, and a few diners and restaurants. And that’s exactly what seemed to pop up in front of them. People were milling around the main street, going about their business, reading newspapers, staring at their phones. It looked like any little town. 

Except that Hope could now feel magic in the air. A buzzing and thrumming under her skin that made her fingers itch. And while it had felt suffocating when outside of Storybrooke, it now felt right, like it had always been a part of her.

She supposed it always had.

They stopped in front of Granny’s Diner (looking exactly as Henry had described it). Alice looked completely stunned and shocked, as if all her dreams had just come true. The wide smile overtook her face again, and Hope couldn’t help but give a small smile too. She could only imagine how she would feel having a fantasy world come to life in front of her eyes.

Her mother and Killian (her father?) pulled up beside them. They too looked in shock when they exited the Jeep.

“I know this place.” Emma said, looking slightly dazed. Killian came around the Jeep to her and Hope noticed that he subtly took her hand in his. He looked up at the Granny’s Diner sign and then through the window.

“Aye, love,” He closed his eyes and brought his hand over them, as if he couldn’t believe the next words that were going to come out of his mouth, “it seems to have some familiarity for myself as well.” He brought his hand down and glanced over at them before he said, “Well, shall we go in?”

Hope wasn’t sure what to expect. Henry had just said that no one remembered their family because of the curse, but she had expected maybe a small amount of recognition since they were all together. But there was absolutely no recognition in their eyes except toward Henry.

“Henry, my boy!” Greeted Granny as they all took a seat in a booth opposite the bar. “My favorite author! Who are all these adoring fans of yours?” She teased as she shuffled around and handed them menus.

“Granny, these lovely people are my family. My mother, Emma Swan-Jones,” Emma gave a slightly startled look at that, but had apparently decided to just roll with it as she gave a meek wave, “my step-father, Killian Jones,” Killian also seemed a little taken aback about being referred to as Henry’s step-father, but nodded in acknowledgement, “and my sisters, Alice and Hope.” Alice gave a wide smile at being called Henry’s sister. Hope felt a little weird about the fact that she was with who Henry said was her family for the first time in what was apparently her hometown. Granny smiled at them all as she handed them menus and turned to go back to other customers.

Hope scanned over the people in the restaurant. We’re they all fairy tale characters? Would she recognize who they were supposed to be? It seemed like any ordinary diner in any ordinary town. 

“The baby shower was in here.” Her mother suddenly said in awe. Killian raised an eyebrow in question. “In the picture.” She explained. “We can’t wait to meet you Alice and Hope! It was right there over the bar. And, there were presents piled on the table right there in front.” Killian frowned. Hope realized that his downturned mouth looked very similar to Alice’s, which meant it looked like hers.

“I don’t remember the present table from the pictures.” He said.

“They weren’t.” Henry said. “That’s purely from your memory, mom.” He grinned at her. 

Granny came back at that point to take orders. “I’ll take the lasagna and a side salad, and this one here will take the grilled cheese and onion rings,” he said referring to Emma. Hope and Henry looked at them, neither Killian nor Emma seemed to notice that Killian had just ordered for Emma, and, as Hope and Henry knew, had ordered her favorite meal. The rest of them ordered. Henry made some light conversation, asking Alice and Killian questions about their lives. Killian seemed a little reluctant to answer. Hope could tell he was just as wary as she was about this whole situation, despite the evidence laid before them. Alice was like a puppy dog, lapping up the attention and giving out answers to Henry’s questions without a care in the world. Hope snuck a look at her mother who still seemed to be awestruck about being in Storybrooke. Hope could tell that she seemed to recognize things around her, but it was getting stuck, like it was right at the surface trying to break through. It wasn’t until their orders came that her mother finally realized what had happened with the order.

“Grilled cheese with onion rings?” She asked softly, staring at the food like it was going to disappear in front of her.

“Sorry, Swan.” Killian said, rubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t think I even realized I ordered for you. If you don’t want it I’m sure that…” And then suddenly her mother, someone Hope had never even seen in the presence of another man, grabbed Killian’s shirt collar, and kissed the holy hell out of him. And Hope’s head felt like it was going to explode.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Maybe you’re the one who couldn’t handle it.”

“You traded your ship for me?” “Aye”

“Be patient.” “I have all the time in the world.”

“If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s surviving.”

The moment Emma’s lips touched his, a myriad of memories of them kissing overwhelmed him. This was definitely not a first kiss type of kiss. 

He knew the way her lips felt pressed to his. 

Knew the way she tasted. 

Knew the way his fingers felt running through her hair. 

Knew….that they were in the middle of the diner where Alice, Hope, and Henry were watching them, dammit! 

He pulled away feeling slightly dazed, even shaking his head slightly as he saw Emma smiling at him. A light bulb above them abruptly popped and glass filtered down, just barely missing their table. Emma shook her head as if realizing what she had just done, and her expression went from sheer joy to horrified in a matter of seconds.

“I’m...I’m sorry. Excuse me.” Emma grabbed her purse and ran toward the restrooms. Killian wanted to go after her, but he knew that she needed time and space to process what had just happened. Besides, he couldn’t go into the restroom after her. He looked over at the girls and saw Hope staring at the broken light bulb and then at her hands and Killian realized what had happened before Hope completely comprehended it. With Emma in the bathroom and Henry and Alice whispering to each other over the kiss that had just happened (at least he assumed that’s what they were smiling and giggling about), Killian took it upon himself to scoot over toward Hope and talk to her. He wasn’t sure what the best approach to talking to her was. Hope was prickly like her mother, but she was also a teenager like his Alice. 

“Not a fan of the light bulb there, Hope?” He asked, his voice full of what he hoped was humor. She looked up at him, her eyes slightly watery. The fact that she looked so much like Alice made his heart ache. The fact that they were twins was still hard for him to grasp, but that’s not what he needed to be thinking about right now. Hope was the one hurt and confused right now.

“I didn’t mean to.” She said softly, probably the softest Killian had heard her since he’d met her (considering she’d been mainly screaming at Henry). A tear spilled down over her cheek and Killian hesitated slightly before making the decision to brush it from her face.

“I’m sure you didn’t Sta…” Nope, not his Starfish. “Sweetheart.” He said, correcting himself. “This.” He sighed not even sure what ‘this’ was. “This is all new for all of us. Well, maybe not Henry, he seems to know an abundance more about all of ‘this’ than the rest of us.” He smiled, hoping it wouldn’t scare her. Hope gave a sigh laced with a small laugh. Thank goodness. Killian thought to himself. No point in scaring both the Swan women.

“It’s just, well, I guess you’re my dad.” Hope said, a point that Killian knew deep in his heart was true, but he still was having some trouble believing. “And all my life I’ve pretty much heard what a bas...a jerk Neal was, and so knowing that my actual father is a villain turned hero is going to take a bit getting used to. Plus, I’ve never seen my mom kiss a guy before.” Killian released a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. He was sure that Emma had not been celebate all these years, he certainly hadn’t been, but nothing more than a one-night stand here or there. But just like Emma had apparently never brought any men home, he had never brought any women around to Alice. He’d never felt in his heart that any of those women were worth bringing into his daughter’s life, and now he knew why. 

“Look, Hope. I know this is going to be anomalous, er, abnormal. And I can’t say what exactly is happening between your mother and myself. We seem to be getting bits and pieces of what I think are memories, but we still don’t have the whole picture. And what just happened now was not something either of us were expecting. But if you’re not happy about it or want to talk about it, please don’t feel ashamed to do so. But I think you may want to talk to Henry about figuring out how to control your…” He could not bring himself to say magic yet, “your abilities.” Yes, abilities sounded much better than magic. Hope nodded and turned to her food taking a bite of the soup she had ordered. 

Killian dug into the now cooled and congealed lasagna and the soggy side salad. The lasagna still tasted delicious, but he kept looking over at Emma’s grilled cheese and onion rings that were getting colder and colder the longer she stayed in the bathroom. Henry and Alice seemed too engrossed in their own conversation to look for her, and Hope had finally started eating and Killian did not wish to disturb her. He excused himself from the table and found himself outside the single, unisex bathroom door which was still tightly locked. He tapped lightly and heard a muffled ‘someone’s in here’ from Emma on the other side.

“Swan, it’s me,” he said, and then felt the need to add, “Killian.” His hand traced the letters on the door and he sighed, trying to think of the right thing to say. Killian couldn’t even imagine what to say to the woman he just met that morning, who was also supposedly his wife that he couldn’t remember and had twin daughters with. But he also couldn’t deny the powerful connection they seemed to have either. That was not something that had ever happened with someone he’d just met.

“Emma, I just want you to come out, please. Hope is worried about you.” He figured if he brought up her daughter that might make things a little less awkward. Killian heard a loud sigh echo from inside the bathroom, before the knob twisted and Emma flung the door open. She didn’t look like she’d been crying, which is what he thought might have happened, she didn’t even look disheveled, like she might have gone to pull at her hair in private while rehashing the kiss. No, she looked extremely calm, which actually frightened Killian a little. Why was she so calm? She looked him straight in the eye and whispered “A one time thing.”

A hot jungle. She was clad in a tank top and jeans while he was still wearing his leather duster. He should have been hotter than he was, due to the heat and humidity. They were goading each other, and then she pulled him by the lapels and kissed him. A hot steamy kiss that went on much longer than he anticipated it would. At first he wasn’t even sure if he should respond, she was just trying to prove a point, but then his hand fisted in her hair and he pulled her closer and it was the most amazing kiss he’d ever experienced in his life. And that scared the hell out of him. He’d spent so much of his life hellbent on avenging Milah, that opening up his heart to someone else ….could he do that? Before he could think too much on that though, the kiss had ended and she’d declared it a one time thing. But his heart still beat erratically, his lips still tingled, and he knew he’d go to the ends of the earth for this woman.

Killian’s heart almost sunk when he heard her say that, but he automatically replied, “As you wish.” Emma’s eyes widened and she immediately pulled him closer to her in a hug. Killian was not expecting that. He’d expected walls thrown up. Possibly even some ranting. Definitely not a hug. She kissed him on the cheek.

“Some honeymoon, huh?"

She threw down her sword while Gideon still held his. She couldn’t die. He couldn’t let her sacrifice herself. There had to be another way. David held him back, because they knew Emma had to do this. Then, in a blinding light, Gideon stabbed her through the abdomen and he disappeared, leaving Emma lying on the pavement. It couldn’t end this way. Their love couldn’t end this way. And it wouldn’t. Henry gave her a final kiss, told her he loved her, and then True Love’s rainbow spread out over Storybrooke, and Emma was alive and in his arms once again.

A lascivious smile came over his face, and he popped an eyebrow as more memories came crashing into mind.

“Did you miss me?”

Tag List: (Let me know if you want to be added or removed)

@profdanglaisstuff​​ @thisonesatellite​​ @mariakov81​​ @hollyethecurious​​ @winterbaby89​​ @jennjenn615​​ @kmomof4​​ @superchocovian​​ @lfh1226-linda​​ @ilovemesomekillianjones​​ @cssns​​ @itsfabianadocarmo​​ @xsajx​​  @qualitycoffeethings​​​ @snowbellewells​​ @courtorderedcake​

[startwithbrooklyn]

THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / SEPTEMBER 28-29, 2019 // the bonny scot

posting this a day later than normal because this is one of the rare episodes that shows a passage of time from one day to the next yayy love that for them

-wonder what filming these beginning sexy scenes is like for them in real life

-sooooo can lucy see nancys sexy dream? is she judging? does this mean she likes nancy with owen or nick more? or is she trying to tell nancy that her sex dreams are irrelevant to the mystery at hand and she needs to focus?

-seeing people in the ✨prison chair✨: gomber, carson, karen (voting for josh s3 just saying)

-completely ignores carson's question about herself typical nance

-"or maybe i did stumble across a knife" its like hes trying to make the case against him look plausible while attempting to maintain innocence. this is a slippery slope for carson to try and encourage her to keep her pacified + hide the truth while also trying to keep her from getting involved bc hudsons

-"genetics gets you in the door" aaaaand then she walks in to everetts office to meet him and crashes their family dinner

-ok who tf is dawn and why is she in charge here

-this guidance counselor of nicks is my favorite person

-"i admire your allergy to pleasantries" bess and nancy both have reveals to big families but nancy does not have the graceful, accepting reveal to her rich family like bess does at this lunch. nancys reveal is messy, cold, bloodstained and sticky-fingered, not nice in any way whatsoever. and this little chat with everett (bit of a parallel to lucy's) just highlights how nancy is always bad at bargaining with her grandparents*- always trying to fight on their level but giving up her equal hand bc she doesnt know how to hide it when they bring up something she doesnt know. like confronting celia at the masque: she was so confident with her theory and what she knew, but then we got a "what does that mean?" like. the instant you say that, you lose. and she walked right into the "yes i do have someone, hes in jail" 🤦🏼‍♀️ even in the car with ryan at the end of s1, he literally just fucking leaves her there. like 🤷🏼‍♀️ what did u think was gonna happen sis?? for all she can predict how past things lead to present circumstances shes fucking awful at seeing the direct future *(grandparents except for patrice bc her dementia makes her inaccessable)

-lmaooooo this awko ass portrait...i get the empty space is for nance but who on earth thought this was a good pic??

-LISBETH 🥺💙

-"will u help the claw for me?" george struggles financially to keep her livelihood while nancy is somehow shown as being taken care of even when her parent is incarcerated; both nancy and george live in single parent homes now with mention of both medical debt and george being breadwinner yet nancy has no struggles while george does. (i wonder if ryan had been able to help george here how the story would have changed)

-"when it comes to following people around without their knowledge or consent i am somewhat of a repeat offender" 😂😂😂

-"he wasnt endgame after all" BESS lmaoooo

-"...okay." lmaoooo i fuckin love owen

-i was hoping the girls' faces would be more shocked like with a glance to owen but they just....werent

-"we're the good guys" <---- this statement is soooo interesting in terms of how they structure the show and how the characters see themselves (its an interesting contrast with the more definitive good vs evil with things that are both clearly good and clearly evil but theres also a lot of moral grey area here, the show is kinda swamped in it. are nancy and crew the good guys? are they the bad guys in someone else's story? concerns.)

-"i'd call it more than just stuff" like why did u concede that??? and then the shit about oof that didnt sound like a compliment lmaoooooo why does she suck at arguing?? she and owen wouldnt work long term bc theyre so similar (as mentioned later on)

-i LOVE george slowly falling in love with nick here- hence how upset she gets when nick bails on her for nancy later (which is totally justified!!!)

-i am LIVING for the little nod this driver guy gives bess when she turns back around all nervous 😂

-"i do like buying things" i would so say that too tbh

-"you'd have plenty to talk about" LMFAOOOOOOO SHE KNOWS "marvins dont marry drivers" so diana is totally fine with the gay its just the poor she has a problem with 😂💙fuckin love that

-love how nancy just casually ruins everything for nick/george lmaooo

-"i have seen you at your best, nancy, and there is nothing like it." 🥴😳 i love this still-in-love look nancy gives him thats so strong he had to change the subject

-so is haunting time 11 pm? from that clock of bashiir's?

-how do NO neighbors notice this fucking water and shit

-these are TOTALLY AWFUL fake screams from the bonny scot crew 😭

-"i know well enough not to get involved when he's in play" both carson and ryan avoid engaging with everett even though nancy is willing to do so armed with less info and more balls/ but "could i trust him" and ryan says yes lmaooooo NO honey + that makes ryan 0/2 for helping the girls when they ask this ep

-"find a project of your own" and he does, with his youth center 🙏🏻💙 what s2 foreshadowing!

-"god i wish i still drank" 😂😂😂

-"she is darling." 💙👌🏻

-okay wtf is mirror bay??

-i really wonder about the extent of celia x sebastians relationship here. did she truly care about him or was it just secret and exciting sex? also would love more hints of diana vs celia moments like these. celia doesnt even look upset. i mean shes had time to deal but like wtf. and who exactly is sebastian to diana? not her husband? like damn what if he was. somehow i doubt she'd talk about him diddling celia if diana was disrespected also

-i wonder if celia being so invested in dna testing nancy was bc everrett dna tested ryan to make sure he was his bc of sebastian / other men (which would be totally valid on his part!! but wouldnt it be funny as fuck if ryan wasnt his 😂)

-what a neat hiding place in this frame lmaooo who put that in for them tho? like how do u go about ordering that

-"you certainly are your fathers daughter" this quote is doubly ironic and foreshadowy bc theyre referencing carson here as being a useful hudson attaché but nancy is playing everett just like ryan played celia about putting his house up (but TRIPLY ironic bc carson pulls off the long con of hiding nancy from the hudsons right under their noses this whole time!) the one time nancy is successful against them

-that bess/lisbeth look while lisbeth does something badass (+diana reassessing now that lisbeth has been revealed to be useful)

-"almost as fun as a real fight" why do i believe him? lmaoooo a bit weird that he would enjoy a fight w a partner, but i also think this is an acknowledgement of nancy being an "opponent" who exists at his level. but i also love the "let me take you out" as a direct mirror of her relationship with nick, where she avoids the public acknowledgment/"going out" but prefers the more subtle/hidden arrangements of staying in. but as shown with later eps, owen is way more capable of meeting nancy where shes at, which is so important to her + the only way of getting close to nancy. (the only foil is ace who somehow is able to do both)

-"not always about a guy" <---- this could have been such a powerful statement if the show had thought having nancy end up alone/choose herself instead of pitting her between love interests (nick, owen, gil, even potentially ace, in only 2 seasons) was a more worthy stance to take ; as an aro/ace person i cant tell you how much i would kill to see just one female protag choose herself over a man. and its more realistic to end up alone than have a happy ending anyway, for all that these shows try to be as "real" and gritty grimdark as possible

-"is that what you want?" this is an interesting question to his mother- like maybe he senses her unhappiness? combined with his issues with his father- still trying to look out for his mom? either way it's sweet. (it could also potentially work as foreshadowing of something happening to her, but i think that was played with but then diverted when it was revealed who really killed her) "i think its time i steer this ship" still kind of patriarchal tho. i get that its him coming into his own as a dad technically but still. i also like how he calls her "mother" and not mom

-love that old white people thumbs up at george asking about his clams 👍🏻

-okay fuck dawn tho lmfaoooo

-"stressful dinner huh?" 😂 i fucking love lisbeth so much why didnt they bring her back (wouldnt it be Fucking Hilarious if they brought lisbeth back to bounce bess on her expired visa since the marvins kicked her out and didnt fix it lmaoooooo)

-BESS IS A TOP lmaooooooo i fuckin knew it

-nick says "you can pay me back" wonder if thats gonna come back in s3 considering their "marital problems" (also, those bonds are sosus lmfaoooo if any single person cashing those was looked at sideways they'd confess in 2 seconds that some random guy is handing out bearer bonds they dont even make anymore with absolutely zero proof as to how he got them)

-"you wanna finish what you started?" 👀 (dont mind if i do)

-"i need my dad back" parallels s2 when she asks him to come home

-parent politics: "you are taking your life in your hands / no, i'm putting it in yours" vs "i know well enough not to get involved when hes in play" both carson and ryan try to dissuade nancy from pursuing her pulling this con on everett but go about it different ways: carson is wildly concerned with nancys physical wellbeing but ryan appears to be leaning more towards weighing the odds for her/ like a "you cant win so cut your losses/dont try" scenario which interestingly might have more weight with nancy; its easy for her to brush aside carson's worrying like second nature but nancy has been established to be a determined winner, and ryan speaks to her here like shes a beginners luck prodigy at a blackjack table by encouraging her to keep her record clean by not dealing in this next round. of course she herself admits shes incapable of not dealing in ie "you know me better than that" but i have lots more thoughts on how effective ryans approaches to nancy can be sometimes (saving for the reveal ep 🙏🏻)

-wonder what all carson knows about the hudsons? + that look on his face when he hangs up... wonder if he was just lying to her about knowing anything or just ashamed at having to admit bad things hes done for them

-love nick & bashiir waiting together 🙏🏻💙+ nicks very strong and pointed "good night" as a means of ending his convo w nancy on his terms (gotta reinforce those boundaries man!)

and lastly

-celia + that gossip girl moment when she just throws the whole phone away 😂(wonder if she was just talking to "gus" or whoever that guy was. keep forgetting the bobbseys' dad is in prison too, wonder if he'll feature in s3)

[jolie-goes-downton]

The Downton Abbey Oppositions Tag Game

Thank you for tagging me, @naevery !

1. Favourite plotline from your least favourite season?

My least favourite season (so far) is S5 (except its Christmas special, of which I love every single minute). S5 gave way too much screen time to characters that were neither interesting nor likeable to me, such as the Prince Kuragin saga and the Denker/Spratt feud, and intolerably drew out other plotlines that could have advanced a lot faster, such as Edith’s distress at the Marigold situation, Tom’s uncomfortable friendship with Sarah Bunting and Mary getting rid of Gillingham for good. But the two plotlines of S5 that I liked unequivocally were Rose growing up and finding Atticus, and Isobel and Lord Merton’s romance, which I find incredibly touching.

2. Least favourite plotline from your favourite season?

Favourite season is a draw between S2 and S3. In S2, I hated everything about Richard Carlisle, even when it served the plot and ultimately helped to advance Mary x Matthew. That guy made me shudder!

In S3, I hated the very idea of Mrs Patmore marrying the disgusting grocer. And I also disliked the whole continuation of the Ethel storyline, which would have been so much stronger IMHO if it had ended with the heartbreaking farewell when Charlie’s grandparents take him away.

3. What’s a quality that you actually like about (one of) your least favourite main/regular character(s)?

Like everyone else, I loved to hate Sarah O’Brien, but I was really touched by how protective she was towards Mr Lang the poor shell-shocked valet, and how she genuinely regretted having been a witness for the prosecution against Bates. That hidden, caring side of her was a real surprise.

4. What’s your least favourite quality of your favourite character?

My favourite character is Thomas, and while I totally understand where his bitterness and his mistrust of everyone and everything comes from, I’m not sure I can easily forgive his behaviour against Anna. To be scheming to get the same woman into prison who had put her arm around him when he cried about Sybil’s death, and who was the only one to offer him words of comfort when Jimmy had to leave, was just beastly. Ugly as Thomas’ systematic bullying of Miss Baxter was, at least there was a clear (if ignoble) purpose behind that. But Thomas’ cruelty to Anna, who has never done or even wished him anything bad, is just gratuitous. So, gratuitous nastiness to people who haven’t even remotely deserved it probably sums it up.

5. What’s your favourite thing that your least favourite main/regular character has done?

Not to repeat myself about Sarah O‘Brien (see no. 3), I‘ll say that I was also really touched by how grim Lord Sinderby acknowledged that he‘s human and not infallible at the end of the S5 Christmas Special. (I hope he qualifies as a main/regular character.)

6.   What’s your least favourite thing that your favourite character has done?

Probably Thomas‘ wine stealing in S1. Because that was neither understandable, nor clever, nor entertaining from the viewer‘s perspective, but just plain juvenile stupidity. I guess I‘m just miffed that it was nowhere near as clever as his later plots, nor accidentally beneficial, as they usually are.

7. What’s a positive aspect about (one of) your least favourite ship(s)?

I hated the whole Prince Kuragin storyline, that guy was such a creep. The only positive thing about it was how it took Violet down a peg or three!

8. What’s an aspect about your favourite ship that you don’t like?

My favourite ship (keeping in mind that I’m currently at ep. 6.02, so I can’t officially ship Thomas x Richard yet) has to be Mary x Charles Blake. The bit that I hate about it is that it didn’t happen! I was so disappointed that even the possibility just fizzled out and Blake, although he said he’d put up a fight, gave up just like that, even once Mary had rejected Gillingham. They would have been so well suited, and they’d have made such a power couple.

My other favourite ship is Isobel x Lord Merton, and if her (very understandable) “no” at the end of S5 will turn out to be final, I’ll cry. The fact that he turns up again in the hospital subplot at the start of S6 has given me new hope though.

9. What’s your favourite and least favourite styling/outfit of your favourite and/or least favourite character? (feel free to add pics if you want!)

Least favourite outfit is easily Thomas in a bowler hat. The shape just doesn’t suit him at all IMHO. Makes him look like a clown.

I also love his military uniform less than many other people do. It makes him look like such a hulk when he really is no hulk.

And while I love the cricket sequence in S3 for storytelling reasons, I’m not fond of the cricket whites either. (On anyone, TBH.)

Most favourite outfit - so hard! I won’t say no to any of those sharp suits and liveries, the Brancaster livery and the under-butler livery probably being my favourite. They’re his suits of armour, and boy does this poor man need armour. But deep down, my all time favourite outfit is probably when Thomas looks most relaxed and at ease, so I’ll go for the waistcoat & shirtsleeves look of the S3 tug-of-war scene or the S4 CS day by the sea. I also won’t say no to the t-shirt & pyjama pants of the famous “you know why” scene with Jimmy in S3. Maybe it‘s the hair, even more than the clothes.

OK, who to tag who hasn’t done this yet? @soft-in-my-old-age, @misunderstoodnotevil , @oleander4 , @thedanceronthestreets , @sgt-barrow, @bitletsanddrabbles , if you haven’t already, let us know your thoughts! And of course anyone else who feels like having a go.

[the-l-spacer]

Promise all you say is true - Chapter 2

(Ch 1) (ao3)

Summary: Lloyd wakes up one morning to discover that, on a whim, the Metaverse had decided to release him and Raven from the Lovers archetype they had been locked in for as long as either could remember.

In the process, however, reality became… just a little screwed up.

Now, Raven is gone, and in his place is David Adams. David Adams, who had never left Ashland, working middle-management at Justacorp. David Adams, who had never heard the anvils, never jumped off Warner's Peak.

But Lloyd remembers everything, and he makes it his personal quest to win back the love of his life.

...No matter how many 'strictly professional' coffee dates it took.

Chapter summary: Over carrot cake, the two hash some things out

Y’all… I seriously didn’t expect this scene to happen or get as long as it did but. Here we are. With this chapter, the setup for the fic is officially DONE and we can get into the stuff y’all came here for (aka Lloydven angst). In the meantime, enjoy Lloyd and Han getting in some awkward bonding time!

- 

“Feeling better?”

The man sat opposite her simply sighs. “Yes. Thank you, Han.”

Over a tray of tea, cakes and sweets (for Lloyd, his first meal of the day), the two go over, in painstaking detail, every narrative visited, every jaunt taken through the CU, every significant location in Raven’s life. As minutes, and then an hour ticks by, marked by the comings and goings of those around them (and the increasingly resigned expressions of the waitstaff as they drag out their meal as long as possible), they scrawl out possible places the missing Postie could be on a steadily depleting supply of napkins, provided generously by the small bakery in New Camden, a joint quickly becoming synonymous with Serious Talk Time.

When it comes to names and places, Han can’t be of much help, but that is to be expected, her having only known the man a scant year. Instead, she simply offers the obvious, locations Raven and Lloyd had spoken of the most around her; the first and second Playhouse, New Albion, even entertaining the idea that he was here, in this narrative.

“Impossible,” Lloyd insists for the second time, though Han notes that he’s sounding significantly less certain than before.

“How are you so sure?” Before Lloyd can respond, she quickly adds, “Waitwaitwait don’t tell me. The both of you have… a psychic link. From your weird wizard powers. Or something.”

“I remind you that you too have, as you so eloquently put it, weird wizard powers.” He replies, one hand spearing a forkful of carrot cake, the other forming air quotes. “But that aside, you’re not completely wrong.”

Han raises an eyebrow. “Huh. I was going out on a limb there. You two are seriously linked together?”

“That’s actually the other thing I have to talk through,” he says. “Have Ravey and I told you about the Lovers archetype yet?”

“Give me a second.” Han takes a long sip from her cup of Earl Grey, mentally sorting through everything her mentors-slash-great-grandparents had taught her about Posthumans and the Metaverse. “It’s… the thing where you and him are basically bound together, right? I thought that was metaphorical.”

Shaking his head, Lloyd says, “It’s very much not. After spending enough time in each others’ company -and back then, we had nothing but time to spare- we began embodying the Lovers archetype.

I shan’t bore you with the details, but you have the broad strokes of it. Essentially, we became irreversibly bound. As trite as it sounds, we had a sixth sense, of sorts, around the other. When we were apart, I would feel his absence like… a missing limb, so we always knew when the other was close by.”

Only half-listening to his explanation, Han lets Lloyd ramble. God knows he needed it. He was one of those people who absolutely had to talk through their problems, a tendency that annoyed her on any given day, except this one. Extenuating circumstances and all.

Huh. Deja vu.

Her mind wanders to the first time she had been here, it was just her and Raven back then, him having invited her out after the Singularity left New Albion. It really was a memory, a story for another time, but it had been surprisingly nice, even if her eyes were still red and puffy in a way that makeup just couldn’t conceal.

They had shared a slice of (what else) carrot cake, speaking of narratives and what she had learned of the art of finesse, and then, as they talked more, coping mechanisms, sacrifice, loss, and a rambling (but utterly sincere) apology from Raven.

It had ended with a hug, and granted, it was kind of awkward, Raven having to get up from the corner chair he was squeezed in to give her a half-embrace, as close as he could get to her side of the table (the bakery was as renowned for its carrot cake as it was infamous for its tight quarters). But Han still remembers the feeling of his arms around her shoulders, warm and almost reassuring.

And now he’s gone. Gone along with the rapport they were just starting to build after their disastrous first encounter. Just when she was finally beginning to see him as family.

The only questions on her mind are how and why.

She tunes back in as Lloyd finishes his explanation. “So you’re saying that because you’re locked into this archetype, if he was here, you’d know.”

What? She could multi-task just as good as anyone else!

Lloyd sighs tiredly. “Yes, but there’s the rub. I don’t think that him and I form the archetype any more.”

Well this raises more questions than answers. Still, Han pats his arm. “Drink your tea. You’ve been talking for way too long as is.”

She waves off Lloyd’s apologies over his loquaciousness, sweeping a hand as if swatting an imaginary fly, then realising this was a gesture she had ended up incorporating into her movements after seeing it time and time again from Raven.

Dammit. Even when absent he finds a way to worm into her head. The guy was just infectious like that. Is. Is infectious. She refuses to believe that he’s truly gone. Speaking of…

“If what you’re saying is true, I guess that answers the ‘why’ aspect of things, He’s gone because the Metaverse decided to release you from your archetype.”

Over the rim of his teacup, Lloyd’s mouth quirks into a half-smile, the first Han had seen from him all day. “You always find a way to make things sound so simple.”

“It’s why you keep me around,” Han jokes, feeling a responding grin spread across her face.

“Don’t put yourself down like that,” Lloyd says, leaning forward with sudden seriousness. “You do have a good head about you, and I… admire the speed at which you’re picking up your Posthuman abilities. You successfully mastered in a matter of months what took me decades to learn, and-”

Han can’t help the rush of pride that comes at his words. Lloyd was always the more critical of her two mentors, and nigh impossible to please (she was still rather sore over his snide comment over the tunnels). She almost misses what he says next, but catches it just in time.

“-and you’re a perfectly charming person. I had my doubts before, but it’s clear that you’re Isabel’s kin. You remind me a lot of her, you know.”

Han softens. “I had a great teacher. Two great teachers, as a matter of fact.”

He winces at the mention of his missing boyfriend, and she impulsively reaches a hand across the table to grasp his. “We’ll find the other one together, okay?”

Lloyd grips her hand, giving a tight nod, steely resolve in his eyes.

“Okay.”

- 

They exit the bakery as afternoon fades into evening, the gas lamps that line the pavements igniting one by one, illuminating the streets of New Camden.

“Just to go over the plan one more time,” Han says, “I’ll stay here and try to scout him out. If he isn’t here, I’ll try New Albion. Then, where the First Playhouse used to be.”

Lloyd hums in affirmation. “I’ll keep you updated on my whereabouts as well. If you find him, let me know.”

“Of course, and you do the same.”

“I will. Keep safe.”

“You too.”

They stand there, then, regarding each other in the lamplight. Finally, Lloyd reaches out a hand, as if to administer a firm handshake.

Nah, fuck that.

Han bypasses the hand, and wraps Lloyd in a tight hug. After a moment, she feels his arms wrap around her too.

“It’s going to be okay,” Han says once they break apart, gripping him by the shoulders.

“I… can’t thank you enough for your help, Han. I’ll make it up to you if- once he’s found.”

“Psssh, that’s not necessary,” she retorts with a smirk, already walking in the opposite direction. “Your acknowledgement that I’m more talented than you is more than enough payment.”

Lloyd bristles. “I was being nice. Don’t push it.”

“You said it! It’s been set in stone! I’m gonna tell everyone I know about this!” She calls over her shoulder, disappearing into an alleyway.

Determined not to let her have the last word, Lloyd yells, "Only if you admit to everyone that I'm a great teacher!”

"Never! Also, screw you!"

Shaking his head and chuckling, Lloyd begins making preparations of his own, mentally steeling himself to make the narrative jump, and going down the mental list of places he was going to search.

The hunt would begin in the Collective Unconscious. Then, the different narratives the lovers (now lowercase) had frequented. Finally, once all other options had been exhausted, he would return to Ravey’s home narrative. The one place the two had never been to, at the insistence of his missing half.

Ashland.

[aegor-bamfsteel]

Why do people say that Aegor raped Calla when she was a child? Daemon betrothing his oldest daughter to Aegor does not mean the marriage was consummated when she was a child. Sadly, Daemon himself was betrothed as a child. His grandmother Daenaera was married when she was 6 and his grandfather Viserys II was 12 when he wed and 13 when he had his first child, only a year younger than Daemon when he had his. Usually, it is custom to wait to consummate if the bride is a child.

Furthermore, the people who hate the Blackfyres try to frame it as Daemon selling his daughter to be raped, but I doubt that is why he betrothed her to Aegor since he already has Aegor’s unconditional support. Calla and Aegor never had children, per GRRM, so Aegor championed his nephews and nieces, essentially dedicating his life to his brother and his family. Daemon didn’t need to sell his daughter to Aegor for support, so that was not the reason for the betrothal. (2/3)

My point is that GRRM is wildly inconsistent with his child brides (and grooms). He uses Unwin Peake’s nameless daughter dying in childbirth at the age of 12 as a reason for why he is so despicable (and that is despicable). But then has Aemma Arryn consummate her marriage at age 13 and paints her father, grandparents, uncle, and husband as decent people. Daenaera is then married at age 6 but doesn’t consummate until age 15 or 16. It’s due to Aegon’s depression instead of custom. (3/3)

Thank you for the very thorough ask, tiger. I hope that I have successfully responded to all of your questions. Calla, as with all Blackfyres (and many non-Targaryen women), has certainly gotten a raw deal when it comes to page time/character depth; her only mention is in twoiaf: “Whatever the case may be (for Aegor’s anger at the Targaryens and Bl00draven), Aegor Rivers soon began to press Daemon Blackfyre to proclaim for the throne, and all the more so after Daemon agreed to wed his eldest daughter, Calla, to Aegor.” As Yandel doesn’t make any further comments, I assume the people who believe Calla was raped as a child exist in fandom rather than on page. Rape is a very sensitive subject, and I’m trying to keep the fanwank a bit quieter, so my response will be under the cut.

Why do people say Aegor raped Calla as a child? This actually involves several leaps in logic I don’t find convincing, so I’ll try to break it down:

We are first introduced to Aegor in the Dunk and Egg novellas via mention by some Blackfyre supporters, who are the natural antagonists of the Targaryens; the protagonist, Dunk, is best friends with the Targaryen prince Egg. Many of the Blackfyre supporters are minor antagonists to Dunk, especially in The Mystery Knight when they attempt to kill him (Alyn Cockshaw) or kidnap Egg (Tommard Heddle). Meanwhile, Bittersteel is a legendary hero to Blackfyre admirers (such as Osgrey), at least an important hoped-for ally to the Whitewalls conspirators (Gormon Peake needed some quick victories so Aegor would have faith in his and Daemon II’s rebellion), and a threat Bl00draven takes as seriously as the Blackfyre sons themselves. As an important member of a faction which has members that tried to harm the protagonist Dunk, people see Aegor as a villain. 

The problem with seeing him as a villain (as opposed to simply an antagonist, which he undoubtedly is if you consider the Targaryens protagonists of the story) is that, due to lack of page-time and because he’s not that bad, he never actually does anything too villainous. Urging someone to rebel is at the end of the day just words. He took Bl00draven eye out in battle, but that appears to be an accident and doesn’t seem to have slowed him down. Leading the Golden Company to sack Qohor for failing to honor a contract is severe, but its only mention is in a non-canonical app that few people read. When his chief rival Bl00draven is a canonical child-murderer, child-crippler, kinslayer, deserter, head of a secret police organization, tyrannical overlord, etc...Aegor’s “evil deeds” don’t appear to add up to much. He might even seem more sympathetic than Bl00draven! But that cannot be, so fandom has to headcanon villainous behavior for him, because he must be a villain antagonist.

But what sort of villainous behavior should he do? In order to root for Bl00draven against him, it must be something terrible. GRRM often uses rape to signal how terrible a male character is (and how awful Westeros can be). The most evil villains in the main series are serial rapists: Gregor Clegane, Ramsay Bolton, Euron Greyjoy, Craster; even Tywin Lannister, Roose Bolton, and Petyr Baelish have raped or enabled the rape of young women and girls. When the age of the victim is specified, she is often a preteen/young teenager to make her rape even more evil. The lone exception is Joffrey Baratheon, and that is only because he is 12 (he still molests Sansa repeatedly). Fandom rightly criticizes GRRM using sexualized violence against women as shorthand for “irredeemably evil” or window dressing for a dark fantasy. Yet when Aegor, a character who shows no sign of being a sexual predator (look at Shiera’s SSM, the Dunk and Egg books, and Yandel’s commentary on Aegor’s anger at Bl00draven: one-sided Aegor/Shiera has even less evidence of being real than Daemon/Daenerys), needs to commit villainous actions, some in fandom fall into the same trap as GRRM and imagine him raping women.

Then Yandel tells us that Daemon “agreed to wed his eldest daughter Calla” to Aegor shortly before the Rebellion. As Calla was not a triplet of his eldest sons Aegon and Aemon, the oldest she could possibly be was 11, still a child even by later GRRM standards. The phrase “agreed to wed” is at most a promise; it’s not an official betrothal, it’s certainly not an actual wedding, and it’s absolutely not a consummation. If it had been a consummation, that certainly would have been mentioned, as Yandel has repeatedly recorded rumors just for the purpose of making Daemon look bad (the 14 year old newly acknowledged landless natural son petitioned the king for a polygamous marriage with a princess and an Essosi noblewoman? sure...) Considering Daemon died at the end of the Rebellion and Aegor was now a landless, penniless rebel dependent on his goodsister Rohanne’s mercy, and how the Blackfyres needed to find more allies, I think any talks of marrying Calla was silenced. She married someone else, whereas he remained a bachelor for life and championed the cause of Haegon and his son Daemon III (not necessarily the others, as seen with Daemon II and Aenys, and he did not crown any of Daemon III’s brothers). 

Whatever I headcanon, 2018 GRRM’s comment that he doesn’t think Aegor had any offspring pretty much puts the nail in the coffin of Aegor having consummated any wedded relationship, let alone with Calla. If a male character is promiscuous, GRRM raises the possibility of them having sired natural children; with Aerion Brightflame in Lys, and Brandon Stark in the North, and even Tywin Lannister, he says, “I suppose they could’ve sired bastards” (or in Tywin’s case, gives a non-answer). That he gave a straightforward NO regarding Aegor’s potential children indicates that he feels it would be out of character for Aegor to have a sexual relationship, whether in marriage or outside of it. I hope that when people headcanon Aegor as a serial rapist, they take GRRM’s comments and fandom criticism of sexual violence to heart.

My point is that GRRM is wildly inconsistent with the ages of his child brides (and grooms): I would disagree to the point that in his earlier works, underaged girls forced to wed old men was universally portrayed as terrible and a feature of a corrupt character. Hoster regretted his actions toward Lysa on his deathbed, but it led to their estrangement and her susceptibility to Littlefinger’s manipulation; Sansa Stark’s marriage to Tyrion showed the breakdown of societal norms under Lannister rule; Jeyne’s forced marriage and immediate consummation to Ramsay moves Theon to try to rescue her. Although the marriage wasn’t consummated, GRRM found it difficult to write the Tyrion/Sansa scene because of her horrific abuse. But then The World of Ice and Fire and Fire and Blood are published and older man/younger woman marriages and relationships are outright romanticized by the authors themselves (Elio Garcia said 37 year old Daemon Targaryen’s relationship with the 16 year old Nettles was a true romance; GRRM said that 56-year-old Alyn Velaryon was the great love of 21-year-old Elaena Targaryen’s life) Perhaps the lack of PoV in these works distanced the male writers from the female characters’ emotions and allowed them to envision Rhaenys (16)/Corlys (37), Corlys (61)/Marilda (17), Thaddeus (56)/Floris (14), and Aemma (11-13)/Viserys (16-18) as mutually romantic couples with sympathetic men; but then in the same works the authors use forced relationships with young girls to villainize other men Unwin Peake (daughter died in childbirth at age 12) and Aegon II (was receiving a blowjob from a 12 year old when his father died). The double standard seems to imply that a teenage girl can consent to a relationship with a man old enough to be her father/grandfather if she is genuinely in love with him, which is disturbingly close to real-life defenses of statutory rape. I hate the way that the supplemental material has suddenly decided to defend these couples with “the girls wanted it”, and I can only hope this doesn’t start appearing in the main series that people actually care about.

One type of underaged pairing seems to have a consistent portrayal: child grooms don’t seem to be granted the same mutually happy relationship as child brides. Both Viserys (12) and Larra’s (19) and Androw (17) and Rhaena’s (25) marriages ended in tragedy (and death, in the case of the latter). This makes me...unsettled when thinking about how the authors will write Daemon (14)/Rohanne (older). But to stay within the bounds of your question, I don’t think they will depict an Aegor/Calla marriage due to it making little political or characterization-based sense; so fortunately it will neither villainize nor romanticize Aegor. Although an antagonist to the Targaryens, he has consistently took the higher road over Bl00draven and has the potential to be a tragic and multifaceted character.

[ckret2]

“You’re so vain” “Give em hell kid” And “I hope you die” I’d love to hear those explanations

Righto! Okay so recap for the people who might have missed it, this is about the radiosnake playlist I mentioned/linked a bit over a week ago, Serpentine & Demonswing. When I posted it I also added an “and if you wanna know why any songs are on the playlist you’re free to ask.” The playlist is a work in progress so some of my answers are gonna be “so here’s the explanation for why it was included but tbh I’m not 100% on keeping it.”

Important things to mention before getting into it: the playlist is build specifically off my headcanons from “Cold Day In Hell,” and so all of the songs act on the assumption that CDIH is “canon.” (tl;dr: they’re exes, because Alastor got scared of emotional intimacy, told Sir Pent he never actually liked him, and ran off after blowing up all his airships.) The first chunk of songs is from Sir Pent’s perspective, the second chunk is from Alastor’s, the third is from them both or about them both, and the last few songs are “I like the vibe but honestly am not sure this fits the playlist.”

Also, y’all are welcome to keep asking me about songs, because this is a lot of fun.

I’m absolutely sure that tumblr is going to delete this read more out of the post but I’m going to put one anyway, maybe it’ll let this one work just to be contrary. If it doesn’t, I apologize for the dash stretcher, that’s just how tumblr do.

So! Explanations:

You’re So Vain (Lyrics)

This one is on the Sir Pentious side, so, although it’s not directly/accurately about Alastor, it is about how Sir Pent sees him in light of their catastrophic breakup.

Verse 1 is less on the nose in its description of Alastor, but you get the impression of someone who is obsessed with how he comes across to other people, and who is far more interested in himself and the image he’s giving off than he is in any of the people he’s trying to impress. A great deal of Alastor’s personality is—or at the very least, comes off as—completely performative. As though to this day he’s still nothing but a radio host performing for a listening audience, even when he’s only talking to one person. The fact that he’s always wearing a fake smile and pointedly providing his own sound effects adds to that impression of a performer who never breaks character.

And the fact that the character in the song is still wholly self-absorbed even when he’s dancing with a partner gives a nice little glimpse into how Sir Pent’s retroactively reinterpreted his last evening with Alastor.

Verse 2 is the stanza that comes closest to completely accurately reflecting what went down between them. First, the alliance between them, the implicit promises that they the were going to conquer Hell and then Heaven as partners in crime—“Well, you said that we made such a pretty pair / And that you would never leave”—and then, the breakup—“But you gave away the things you loved / And one of them was me.” It’s the one line that acknowledges that the character in the song did, indeed, actually love the singer, and wasn’t just performing a role/playing at being in love.

It’s also a line that would ring false to Sir Pentious, because in the aftermath of CDIH, he genuinely doesn’t believe that Alastor ever loved him. He completely buys Alastor’s claim that he was just screwing around with Sir Pent’s emotions for his own entertainment. Words to the effect of “one of [the things you loved] was me” would never come out of Sir Pent’s mouth.

However. Of all the lines in all of the songs in Sir Pent’s portion of the playlist, that one line is the most accurate thing that could be said about Alastor, the blade that would stab into the core of who he is and the role that he played in this story. Because of his vanity—his selfishness, his pride, his obsession with his own independence, his fear of love, his fear of vulnerability, his fear of sharing his life with someone else, etc.—he didn’t just lose what he loved, he did very deliberately and intentionally give it away.

(I’ve always found that line to be the most interesting in the song, for the hint that this vain person did indeed truly feel for someone else, so I’m glad that line fits so well here.)

Verse 3 is just more “what Alastor is like as observed by Sir Pent,” except even more accurately than the first stanza. Constantly running around, constantly moving on from one brief source of entertainment to another (just stuff “threw his support behind the Happy Hotel” somewhere between “gambled on a horse race” and “watched an eclipse”), constantly socializing with dangerous people and people whom he’s going to hurt without caring in the slightest.

Okay so that’s the lyrics.

Making sure the aesthetics/styles/genres of the songs match the character they’re for is one of my high priorities on this fanmix—not to the extent that having the wrong style is an instant dealbreaker, but I’m going to be hesitant to include a song that doesn’t at all match the sound I’m going for. For Sir Pentious, I’m kind of running with two styles.

The first style is “sounds Victorian-ish enough to get a shrug and a nod from anybody who doesn’t actually know/care about Victorian-era music,” so that’s gonna be just about anything orchestral/symphonic that doesn’t clearly fall into a different genre, symphonic metal that sounds symphonic enough to satisfy me, instrumental covers of other songs (string quartets, piano, full orchestra...), things with harpsichords (LISTEN i know that harpsichords are more baroque but they’ve got the right Vibe, you know, they’ve got the Feeling), and things with organ—but like, it’s gotta sound like pipe organ (pipe organ—sounds like a church) and not like Hammond organ (Hammond organ—sounds like a baseball game). Also steampunk, except a lot of “steampunk” genre music sounds swingy/jazzy, so those songs get ruled out because that’s Alastor’s aesthetic. And also, like, actual classical music, but I’m not into a lot of actual classical music, so I don’t think any’s actually made it in yet, lmao.

The second style is based on what the creator herself said about Sir Pent’s music preferences: “Sir Pentious would listen to Blink-182. Pentious would literally listen to stuff like Linkin Park, Green Day, the emo stuff.” So I took "the emo stuff” as “oh okay cool so the stuff I listened to at 15 got it” and ran wild with that. I’ve been most heavily drawing from My Chemical Romance, Panic! At The Disco, and Mindless Self Indulgence to represent that half of Sir Pent’s preferences. (MSI because I feel like that fits an in-your-face and morally jaded villain, P!ATD because their newer stuff fits his flamboyance and exuberance and egotism, and MCR because... because I know them best.) I haven’t yet made much time to carefully comb the discographies of the other bands listed or look into other more traditional emo-associated acts.

Carly Simon’s original “You’re So Vain” matches neither of these styles.

I combed through about 60 different versions of “You’re So Vain” on Spotify looking for ones that meet one of these aesthetics. Like 90% of them were, I’m pretty sure, just various singers adding their vocals directly over a karaoke version of Carly Simon’s original.

In the end, the only one that came close was Marilyn Manson’s cover. He’s a bit outside of the bounds I try to stick in for Sir Pent, but like, okay, he’s industrial metal, but in a particularly goth way, that’s close enough to emo. To my mind, “Sir Pent listens to emo” is like... Sir Pentious’s musical preferences are going to be, 1) counterculture, the kind of stuff that causes conservative Christian moms to go into moral panics, but also 2) mainstream counterculture, the kind of bands that produce huge hits & get featured in major blockbuster movies, but also also 3) slightly dated mainstream counterculture, i.e., at the end of the 2010s he’s listening to the bands that may still be popular but that peaked in the mid 2000s, in keeping with the way he’s trying to keep hip and modern but always seems a little bit behind.

So, in the 2010s, he’s listening to 2000s emo acts. In the 2000s, he was listening to the 1990s’ biggest metal acts (like Marilyn Manson) and possibly grunge acts (things like Nirvana, Smashing Pumpkins). In the 1990s, he was listening to the 1980s’ biggest post-punk and new wave acts (like The Cure, Joy Division/New Order, Depeche Mode). Always evolving his stylistic preferences, always trying to keep up, but always a little behind. So that’s how I justify putting Marilyn Manson in lmao.

Although that was the only version of “You’re So Vain” I thought fit well enough, I also found a version by Trash Pour 4, a version by Les Reed Orchestra, and a version by Giant Sand that were all very good. Trash Pour 4 is driving me crazy because I can’t quite figure out what genre they are, I just can’t place them—but they’ve got several other good covers that I’d like to take advantage of at some point.

I also found a song called “You’re So Vain (Christian Dior)” by The Energy Commission that’s not a cover of Carly Simon’s song, just a new song with the same name. I’m lowkey considering including on Alastor’s side of the playlist. It’d serve as a very sharp critique of how image obsessed Sir Pent is, there’s some snappy turns of phrase that seem like they’d appeal to Alastor’s sense of humor (my two favorites are “He went off the deep end ‘cause he’s so shallow” and “He’s got a timepiece on his wrist and it says ‘watch me’”), the fact that it’s a critique specifically of high class materialism fits with the fact that I headcanon Sir Pent as coming from British nobility while Alastor’s ancestry is both racially and socially mixed (including at least one close relative who was a slave, I’m thinking a grandparent but haven’t settled on my headcanons yet), and I love when there are parallels like that in playlists about the relationship between lovers/partners/rivals/siblings/any-combo-of-two-people.

The reason I haven’t added it yet is because, by the end of the song, it’s not just a critique of being a rich shallow image-obsessed douche, but specifically of how that culture ties in to exploitative capitalism that’s wrecking human lives and the world—which, in the context of the characters we’re talking about here, would translate into a criticism of Sir Pentious’s very-imperialist-sounding take-over-the-world villain ambitions. Which isn’t something I think Alastor cares about. He probably should, but like, he just doesn’t. He’s a villain himself. I’m sure he’s got his own morals and standards and hard limits but “take over the world” isn’t on his list of dealbreakers. What’s taking over the world include? Mass murder and subjugation? Yeah, he’s cool with that. So that’s why I’m still on the fence about adding it.

Give ‘Em Hell, Kid (Lyrics)

So remember how I said that My Chemical Romance is one of the bands I’ve drawn from most heavily so far in looking for emo Sir Pent songs? Yeah for about a day there were six different MCR songs sitting in Serpentine & Demonswing as I slowly whittled them down to the ones that I thought fit best. “Give ‘Em Hell, Kid” is one of the last three, and actually one that I’m constantly on the verge of cutting.

Lyrically, it’s an Alastor song. There’s mentions of the singer having come from New Orleans (listen... i am a sucker for songs that mention New Orleans, it automatically earns five points on the imaginary “is this an Alastor song?” rubric in my head). The singer is singing about a love interest who’s gone, and he’s making no moves to pursue/reclaim the love interest, wishing them well (“So go on, live your life”), but he’s a wreck and a lesser person without them (“If you were here, I'd never have a fear,” “Well I'm a total wreck and almost every day”), and it’s just getting worse with time, not better (“But I miss you more than I did yesterday”).

The line “Some might say we are made from the sharpest things you say” although directed toward “you,” i.e. the love interest, i.e. Sir Pentious, in my head actually reflects more on the things Alastor said to Sir Pentious: the cruel things he said to Pent—that he’s weak, ineffective, behind the times, a has-been, never going to conquer hell—ended up a self-fulfilling prophecy, because that’s exactly what Alastor’s rampage made happen. Today, as he is now, Sir Pentious is made from the sharpest things Alastor said.

“Your dreams and your hopeless hair” makes me think of Sir Pent’s wild efforts to conquer hell (and, of course, his ridiculous cobra hood), and “We never wanted it to be this way for all our lives” is a perfect expression of Alastor’s regrets/remorse over what his actions have done to both of their lives, but especially to Sir Pent’s life.

And all the references to violence—murder scenes, firing squads, sharpest things—fit with the fact that both of them chose to live lives soaked in blood.

So it’s a perfect Alastor song. The only problem is, it’s an MCR song, which is sooo far outside of my acceptable genres for him. (I’m not gonna get into Alastor’s genres now bc there are better songs to do that on, just know emo ain’t it.) And not only is it outside of his acceptable genres, it’s in the OTHER character’s acceptable genres, which is very messy. I can vibe with “lovers’ songs borrowing from each other’s aesthetic” a LITTLE bit when it’s used to represent, like, emotional synchronicity or the like (ex: both “Roustabout” and Vernian Process’s “Maple Leaf Rag” are on my “Alastor+Sir Pent style fusion songs” list). But MCR is a big departure from Alastor’s acceptable styles.

Plus, the playlist already has two MCR songs, and do I really need three songs from the same band? Unless there’s a really good reason, I try to avoid having repeats from the same band on one playlist—I feel like a good well-rounded fanmix oughta have a diversity of sources. (With “a really good reason” being something like “I’ve got the playlist divided into five sections detailing five phases of the character’s life and each section is introduced with a different track from the same band” or “I’ve got an instrumental version of the song to kick off the playlist to serve as ‘foreshadowing’ for when the version with lyrics shows up at the most dramatic moment” or something like that.)

If I was going to, like, make it a thing, I could. Justify it like “there’s one MCR song that represents them when they’re together, one MCR song from Sir Pent’s perspective, and one MCR song from Alastor’s perspective, like a little triangle,” but like... if I was going to do that I feel like I’d want to do it with a style that’s either representative of both of them or else independent of both of them, and MCR is so heavily a Sir Pent sound. Basically, having three songs from one band would be okay if it was a band that vibes with the overall tone I’m shooting for in the playlist—but it’s not. So I’m very torn on “Give ‘Em Hell, Kid.”

“El Tango De Roxanne” + “Overture” + “I Hope You Die”

Okay before I can talk about “I Hope You Die” by itself, I kind of have to explain its exact position in the playlist and its relationship with the other two songs I just listed.

While MOST of the playlist is chunked up into the four sections I mentioned earlier (Sir Pent, Alastor, both, undecided), within those sections the songs aren’t really in any particular order. The one exception is the very first three songs on the playlist/the very first three songs in Sir Pent’s section.

These three songs, presented in that order, all as Sir Pent songs, serve as Sir “in war, the side remembered is the side with the most style” Pentious the Super Villain making his big entrance like:

“El Tango De Roxanne” starts slow/quiet, and then (with a couple of brief dips) it gradually builds in volume and pain and intensity, getting faster and more emphatic, switching from mournful longing to nearly-angry anguish, until it ends with a pained scream, steampunkish percussion, howling background singers, and a wailing violin.

And then it pauses, for just a moment.

And then “Overture” hammers you with the most dramatic opening chord you will ever hear on an organ in your life, perfectly matching the energy at the end of “El Tango De Roxanne” and maintaining that level of energy throughout the song.

And then it stops so quickly it’s like someone gasped, holding its breath for a split second—and then some dude yells “You must die! I alone am best!” and the guitars kick in for “I Hope You Die,” leading into a depiction of the most intense, vitriolic, disgusting sort of loathing imaginable.

The build-up from “El Tango De Roxanne” and “Overture” really revs up “I Hope You Die,” the intensity of the organ in “Overture” highlights the intensity of the guitar in “I Hope You Die,” and all together it hypes up what could have been just a dark humor song about hating someone into something that sounds like a very genuine demonstration of hatred.

And taken all together, it makes for a fantastic intro for Sir Pent.

It also serves as a perfect intro to the current state of affairs between him and Alastor—sort of expressing his personal emotional journey on the morning Alastor betrayed him, as his reaction transforms over the course of three songs from grief/despair to fathomless fury.

There’s more I could say individually about “El Tango De Roxanne” and “Overture,” but I won’t, because it’s “I Hope You Die” time.

“I Hope You Die” (Lyrics - warning for a whole stanza dedicated to hoping someone gets raped in prison)

A small handful of the songs in my Hazbin playlists were discovered in and added from existing Hazbin character playlists I found on Spotify before I started making my own. “I Hope You Die” was one of them, found here. Which is why it was added even though it doesn’t fit my strict genre standards, it won me over before I narrowed down the styles I’m working with lmao.

(I feel like “El Tango De Roxanne” was one of those too, but I can’t now find a Spotify playlist containing it that added it before I did. Where did I grab it from? It’s not something I would’ve looked up on my own, something must have inspired me. IDK what though. None of the other songs mentioned in this post were found on other playlists.)

So this song is, obviously, just about how much some dude hates somebody else and wants extremely horrible things to happen to them. It’s sorta... *eyes lyrics uneasily* ... sorta tasteless; but, tasteless in a way that I feel like reflects back on the character singing the song. The feeling I come away from after finishing the song isn’t “the band wants you to think the person they’re singing about deserves this to happen to them,” because it doesn’t even give a reason why the singer hopes this person suffers; but rather, “the band wants you to think that this is the kind of hatred that the character/persona the singer is portraying is capable of, this is the kind of vile stuff that character wants to see done to their enemies, this is representative of the depths of that character’s rage.” Which is why I’m like “yeah... okay, sure, that fits” even though I’m real iffy about the last couple stanzas.

Because for a character who’s in Hell surrounded by people who have stomped on the last dredges of their civility and decency, and a character who’s patterned after a super villain (and, because the series creator dropped the idea that there are heroes/villains in the living world, the only super villain in this setting), and a character who gleefully boasts about being evil, and a character who we know demonstrates very rapid/extreme emotions and expressions of hate/outrage... Yes, I can absolutely see this song as the exact sort of hatred Sir Pentious would level at somebody who’s slighted him. And Alastor blew way the hell past “slighting” him. Alastor, without exaggeration, has ruined his life (afterlife?) and over fifty years later Sir Pent is still unsuccessfully struggling to get back up to the level he was at before he even met Alastor. Right now, Sir Pentious really and truly and deeply despises Alastor.

A song like this—sheer, frothing, unrestrained, vengeful contempt—tells you a whole lot about what kind of emotions Sir Pentious is capable; and it tells you a whole lot about the kind of effect Alastor’s actions have had on him, to inspire this level of reaction from someone who was very close to him for fifteen years and increasingly in love with him for probably a good amount of that time.

Plus, the “You must die! I alone am best!” is such a very, very Sir Pentious sentiment.

So that’s those songs! Again, y’all are free to ask me for my thoughts on more. Yes, most of them will probably be like this, lol.

[r3d-raven]

MHA x OC Chapter 2: Fear

He lifted up her chin and gave her a creepy smirk. "Well, then you look like you're a lot to handle. Pretty as well. Might even look better in a few years. If you let me introduce myself, I am Impulse. Would you like to know why they call me this?"

"Because you're impulsive." Raven rolled her eyes and slapped his hand away as she felt Airi pulled from behind her, turning around Raven saw Fuyumi was holding her sister to shield her from the villain. Licking his lips Impulse moved closer to Raven's face and she could feel his breath on her nose and resisted all of the urges to smack him.

"Leave her alone," Todoroki said sternly. He stepped forward and the earth pulsed again and they were knocked back. Impulse rose his hand and smacked the air and they weren't able to recover as quickly. "I think he can create impulses with those cuffs on his wrists. They keep getting louder....." Todoroki whispered to his sister and Raven.

"Which means he's getting stronger. We might not be able to stop him if he gets more power. We have to fight. Because if we don't.....we might end up dead." Raven whispered.

Todoroki nodded and looked at Airi. Her little sister didn't talk a lot, but it was no secret she was scared to talk or even scream. The worst kind of fear. The one where it's so terrible and frightening and you can't express it. "Fuyumi, I need you to protect them both."

"I can fight," Raven muttered but obliged. If she was reckless Airi could get hurt badly. The battle began and Todoroki was creating ice patch after ice patch. But Impulse kept his quirk steady and every attack was shattered into tiny ice shards. Raven watched and started noticing how the villain was moving, it was like he didn't fear getting hurt, as if someone was enhancing the power themselves. But it wasn't her brother, her brother's quirk like every quirk would leave a signature mark. You just had to know what to look for. Then she saw it, the smallest little detail. Under the rubble was a small little plant. It should have been crushed on the spot but it was healthy and growing out of the rubble and every few seconds it would release a cloud of mist and it would evaporate once it came in contact with Impulse.

Then without thinking, Raven rushed towards the heap of rubble. Impulse noticed this and she was knocked to the ground. "So you figured it out? You would be so helpful in the league of villains. Smart, pretty, and your quirk.....well I don't know what it is but probably just as powerful as you." He smirked and knocked Todoroki back and walked towards Raven who was struggling to get back up. The guy was creating impulse after impulse, making it impossible to make anyone stand up.

Raven growled lowly and her eyes went black. Not a dark gray or just the pupils, her eyes went black and shadowy wisps seemed to surround the outer parts of her eyes. "You want to hurt innocent people. People who haven't done a thing to you! Helpless women and children! Men who work their asses off to feed their families! You're the useless scum on the earth, who deserves to die!" Raven yelled as she got up. Todoroki was back on his feet and rushed to her side. "I might not be able to defeat you on my own but I sure can try."

Impulse smirked and started laughing hysterically. "Of course. I didn't see it before. You're both children of powerful hero's. And you'll be destroyed along with your parents!" He stopped laughing and Raven saw the hate that burned in his eyes towards Todoroki and her. "I hope your death is painless and quick! Just like your parents did to my sisters! Endeavor took my sisters from me and Nightshade, dear old Nightshade she betrayed my mother and father 22 Years ago! She betrayed them and killed them when they took her into their home and loved her like one of their own! Now I will take you all away from your parents so they can feel the sadness I feel!"

Raven had a terrible feeling in her stomach. The feeling that this wasn't just a planned attack, it was for revenge. "Are you ready Todoroki?" She asked him as she kicked off her shoes. "Because I have a feeling this battle has just begun."

Raven had never fought a villain before, mainly because she was underage and a minor. So her experience in battle was poor, her family trained her but they're family and they go easy on you. Well except her mom she was someone who pushed her until she's too tired to move. But her mother was kind and fair and she trained Raven so harshly so she could archive her dreams.

Raven glanced at Todoroki and shook her head. "We have to finish him off quickly." She said darkly, her quirk's drawbacks were starting to kick in. The rush of battle and her mind was darkening in her thoughts as she suddenly started to think of all the ways she could torture Impulse.

Todoroki nodded and started sliding on ice as he created it. Raven immediately went into the shadiest place that was closest to her. She moved quickly with the shadows engulfing her body and jumped to avoid the waves of sound and tried to get a kick in. But Impulse was quick and was very agile. She couldn't get a good hit in and Todoroki was able to pin him up on a share of ice every so often. But the impulse waves destroyed the ice with ease. Impulse lifted up his hand pointed it at Todoroki, not wanting to waste anytime Raven rushed back into the battle field and made shadows around the bi-colored haired boy's leg.

"You need to be more careful!" Raven scolded as the two narrowly missed the wave.

She set him down safely and the two both charged at Impulse. They had to act quickly otherwise the buildings around them could come crashing down. She watched as Todoroki was slowing down and decided to give him a breather. Raven closed her eyes and thought of her body becoming a wisp of black shadows.

Pretty quickly Raven's body was engulfed in the shadows and she was able to give a sharp punch to Impulse. He was knocked back and she was able to get 5 hits in on his face when she was about to hit him again he used his impulse quirk to knock her into a building. Raven felt her shoulder pop out of place and her back felt stiff as she came in contact with the cement building.

Leaping back into action she saw Airi and Fuyumi so close to the pulses that they couldn't escape. Hurrying to then she picked Airi up and without a word her young sister got onto her back. "Here I'll get you guys elsewhere. Where it's safer." Raven said gently as she had to enhance how many shadows were on her feet. Fuyumi nodded and she let Raven pick her up (not bridal style.) and moved then to where the pulsing wouldn't get then. "You two should stay here. If there are any more villains around then you'll have to hide yourselves. Unless you can fight but I don't know you too well." Raven said to the white-haired female.

Fuyumi nodded. "Watch after Todoroki. His body will freeze if he overuses his ice quirk." She said to Raven.

"Ice quirk? You mean he has more than one." She asked and cocked her head confused. She'd never had met anyone with 2 quirks. Well, other then her own but she could have both an emitter and the one that changed your state when used but she couldn't remember the name for that one. But she only controlled shadows nothing else.

"Yes, he also has a fire quirk." Fuyumi nodded and Raven grunted acknowledging what she said when Airi grabbed her hand.

"Raven, promise me you'll come back! Promise me you'll Be safe! Because if you die then I will be sad forever and ever! You have to promise you'll come back!" Airi squeaked and Raven smiled down at her.

"I'll come back safe and sound. I promise. Besides your old sister is stronger then she looks." Raven grinned and took off back to Todoroki.

Raven was still a minor and on the way back all she could think of was the trouble she was going to be in with her parents. And her brother and sister, and her grandparents, and the law to but they didn't matter. She arrived back at the battle with Todoroki and Impulse. It didn't look good at all, Impulse was winning and Todoroki was struggling to continue to get back up. Raven had to destroy the flower and figure out a plan, otherwise, she would watch Todoroki die. And Impulse could kill her.

And she didn't want that to happen not after what after her sister made her promise. She hid in the darkness and watched them battle for just a few seconds while she went over to the flower. She watched as Impulse's shadow and Todoroki's shined in the light. She closed her eyes and created their shadows as projections and making them coming to life and waking up and fighting. Their shadows did exactly just that, but it was still a poor attack Impulse's quirk could knock them down in an instant

'This won't work. If I can't get hits in and I don't know how long Todoroki can last without freezing himself to death.' Raven thought as she steadied herself on the side of a building. She watched Impulse's movements and thought carefully and shook her head. 'His movements are skilled and clean. I can't communicate with Todoroki because he'll hear me. And I can see that Todoroki's starting to slow down. I can see the frost forming.' Raven thought and nodded. She knew what she had to do. The question was, could she do it without injuring her sister and Fuyumi. The shadows that surrounded her body disappeared and she looked next to her, the flower was right in reach. Sending a shadow towards it the flower withered on the spot and turned to ash.

"I bet that wasn't the only one." She murmured and ran to Todoroki's side.

"You're freezing cold!" She gasped as she came in contacted with him. He looked at her and shook his head. "I have a plan you just have to move out of the way. And no more using your quirk. You'll freeze to death and that would be really bad." She snorted coldly, she wasn't trying to be mean it's just that she didn't like him being so reckless when he could potentially lose his life. This wasn't hero training, Impulse wanted revenge and he wasn't going to stop anytime soon.

"You better know what you're going to do," Todoroki said as he started attacking Impulse again. Raven's body was starting to get engulfed in the shadows and the shadows started to shape themselves into a massive three-headed dog. Cerberus. She was now as big as a house and the three heads started snapping at Impulse. Todoroki's eyes widened as he saw the gigantic beast. Raven wasn't that impressive first glance but she'd just been a small teenager who turned into a three-headed dog.

Impulse was just as shocked as Todoroki but that was his first mistake. Todoroki snapped out of the trace quickly and used the opening to launch a full-on attack. An ice shard went cleanly through Impulse's shoulder and as Impulse was about to counter, one of the three-headed dog's heads knocked him into a wall.

Their movements weren't perfect but with Todoroki attacking and Raven preventing him to knock them down they couldn't be beaten. Impulse got to his feet and he snarled at then and then started laughing. "I have one last move. One you can't avoid." He said and narrowed his eyes. Suddenly the ground started to shake and the energy amount was so large that Todoroki and Raven could feel it. Whatever he was doing was going to be powerful and Raven acted quickly. She bounded over to Todoroki and one of the heads tucked him under the beast's chest, Cerberus crouched down and cover Todoroki as the ground shook and the pulse was so strong that the shadowy three-headed dog disappeared and revealed the small teenager once more.

[incorrect-vrains-quotes]

What if the Ignis developed a Mother Complex towards Kusanagi (Shoichi)?Could be a virus or a glitch or just some plain misunderstanding of their own “self-perception/self-development” - Or it could be a concussion - Whatever (Everyone’s reactions?)

the first time I read this ask, my brain shut down after the very first line and it took me legit 2 hours to ready myself for the rest of it and despite the rather wild opening, the rest of it was quite tame. 

So my thought process is, quite long and roundabout so bear with me. So first, let’s lay the groundwork which immediately connects to the topic at hand. I posit that Kusanagi Shoichi is just a magnet for the found family trope. Something about him intrinsically attracts wayward teens who are looking for, like, a big brother figure or something. Not even Aoi would be immune to his brotherly pheromones. Thus, with this benign strength, it could be possible that Kusanagi has the potential to exert it over the Ignises.

In fact, I’ll argue that he already has. After all, the design parallels between him and Bohman and between Jin and Haru have been hot topic for quite some time. It makes sense: Jin created Lightning and Lightning in turn designed the 9000 Brothers. And based on what we’ve been given, Shoichi and Jin clearly had a great brother-brother relationship prior to the Incident which brings me to my next point. 

I believe that Jin feels betrayed that Shoichi was unable to save him from the Incident. Miyu had Aoi and Yusaku had Ryoken but Jin didn’t feel like he had Shoichi. Thus, this fed into how Lightning was created as an Ignis. After all, Lightning clearly took inspiration from the Kusanagi Brothers when he created Bohman and Haru; not to mention, we see this in his sort of intrinsic character values. 

If my belief is true, then if Jin felt betrayed by Shoichi being unable to save him, then that soured the make-up that Lightning was given, as compared to say Aqua or Ai in the previous cases of Miyu and Yusaku respectively. Thus, Lightning became who he is today: self-reliant and unable to truly form positive bonds with others because that’s what Jin taught him in his familial grief. 

On an unrelated tangent, but based on dialogue that Shoichi gave in the last episode, it seems possible that he was tasked with babysitting or playing with Jin on the day he was kidnapped and some sort of negligence, on his behalf, caused Jin to be stolen away. I feel that including this will help contextualise the previous paragraph further to truly embed the message Jin gave Lightning through the Incident.

Now, to reconnect it to the possibility of the Ignises being susceptible to Kusanagi Shoichi’s found family magnetism. So, if Jin taught Lightning family values based on the hurt he felt over Shoichi being unable to save him, or look after him, then its highly likely that Lightning has some sort of coding strand, in his genome possibly, which makes him the most likely out of the Ignises to feel some sort of ‘positive warmth’ towards Kusanagi Shoichi. After all, I think Jin did cling to the positive memories he had of his brother that he formed prior to the Incident, but they were twisted by the hurt that he felt due to the Incident or the immediate lead-up to the Incident when he was kidnapped.

Ideally, this would mean that, if Lightning was to be redeemed or defanged, that could mean a stable Kusanagi Brothers-Light Ignis household which is what I personally want. After all, Lightning could be given the opportunity to explore how he perceives the family structure from within it and that could give us good Lightning-HalMan Brothers development which could be excellent.

Which does not directly lead to the next point which is, if Lightning - the indisputable and cold leader - of the Ignises, has the potential to pack bond with Kusanagi Shoichi and his familial pheromones, what of the other Ignises?

Well, it does get a touch tricky. After all, whilst Shoichi has the canonically acknowledged (thank you Takeru for pointing out the bond between Shoichi and Yusaku as being like family or even possibly something stronger) ability to attract and soothe wayward teens hankering for familial connection they are otherwise starved for, he didn’t know the LI Kids (with exception of Jin, of course) prior to the Incident. Furthermore, based on what we’ve seen, Jin was the only LI Kid who had a sibling; Takeru and Miyu both seem to be only children, Yusaku doesn’t even remember his family at all, Spectre has no fondness for the other orphanage children (or anyone at all), and we can only speculate about Windy’s Kid but at the moment, a safe bet would be to assign him as an only child as well. Therefore, the resulting Fire, Water, Dark, Earth, and Wind Ignises likely aren’t inclined toward the sibling structure like Lightning was, as we’ve seen again through Bohman and Haru’s relationship. So, let’s analyse the present.

Shoichi has interacted with Ai and Flame the most. He hasn’t met Aqua in person yet, but he probably feels affable towards her but for the sake of this part of my response, we’ll focus on Ai and Flame (and even then, mostly the former). But, for convenience’s sake, we’ll talk about the latter first as it will be more concise. Flame and Shoichi have had little on-screen time together. Of it, it was amicable. Mostly, Shoichi would interact with Takeru and Takeru seems to genuinely like and look up to Shoichi. No doubt feeling the effects of Shoichi’s big brother magnetism. So, through that, Flame has a positive relationship with Shoichi, but not necessarily one which has roots in some sort of familial complex. Especially since Takeru’s familal troubles seem to be disagreeing with his grandparents and mourning the loss of his parents after their sudden demise. Contrast directly with Ai.

Ai and Shoichi are best buds. I feel that they jibed and got along super well in Season One, before Yusaku was able to open his heart to Ai abit more. Before that, Ai and Shoichi had great banter (the binary days and Yusaku can’t talk to girls jokes spring to mind first) and I think that makes perfect sense. Yusaku, who’s memories presumably rapidly decomposed on him during the Incident, was likely hoping that there was someone nice and jovial looking out for him, to contrast his shyer personality. Someone like Shoichi, perhaps, to contrast The Voice who had helped inspired him and turned him unto his Three Reasons Why. So, it is possible that Ai, similar to Lightning, has something with his code which predisposes him to connect in overly familiar ways with people and is therefore, susceptible to Kusanagi’s powerful big brother energy.

With the remaining Ignises - Aqua, Earth, and Windy - things get a bit more tricky. But, we’ll start with Aqua as she is the most straightforward of our remaining three. It is no secret that Aqua is the mother hen of the Ignises and admittedly, I enjoy characterising Kusanagi as being a professional herder of cats when it comes to Yusaku’s group because I find it charming and endearing, though not necessarily rooted in canon. Unlike with Aqua and her very mothering tendencies (I still think we were robbed of a brilliant red herring if Spectre had been Aqua’s Origin but I digress). Now, Aqua and Shoichi - as far as I recall - have not had voice lines together; they haven’t interacted, even over the line. Unsurprising given that Aoi is more closely entwined with Akira and Ema and their group and Aoi is still unaware of Playmaker & Soulburner’s true identities and of the Hot Dog Truck HQ. So, this next part is pure conjecture but Aqua would absolutely be susceptible to Kusanagi Shoichi’s found family magnetism and she would probably adore how he looks after the boys. 

To substantiate this claim, Aqua was partially modelled on Miyu’s perception of Aoi. And, whilst the girls didn’t talk about Akira on-screen and whilst Miyu didn’t meet Akira on-screen, it does seem plausible that Miyu is aware of Akira’s existence and how he factors into Aoi. So, similar to how Jin would have imprinted memories and ideas of Shoichi onto Lightning, Miyu could have done something similar to Aqua, teaching her of familial structures unlike her own. Especially since Miyu seems to come from a one-child family.

Now, moving on from Aqua, let’s go to Earth. Earth is quite unique in that he had the Origin who actively enjoyed the Experiment and actively reviles his life prior to it. He is also, as far as we know, the only Ignis whose Origin’s family did not love him and the only family Spectre did love was his protective mother tree. Now, the relationship between Earth and Spectre is bizarre to say the least given the fact that they are on opposite sides of the Human-Ignis warfare, never met, and yet Spectre mourned his passing regardless. So, it is difficult to identify what sort of ideas or memories that Spectre may have shared or taught Earth, especially since, unlike say Miyu and Aqua or Takeru and Flame, their relationship isn’t quite one to one or near it. So, this is speculation but, Earth probably would have the inclination towards familial relationships and probably has one of the stronger inclinations towards it because Spectre clearly craves that kind of connection.

It is no secret that if any Vrains character was going to have a mother complex, it would be Spectre (with, in my opinion, Dojun Kengo/Blood Shepherd in a rather distant second position). Spectre craves mother’s love very strongly and his only regret during the Incident was the fact that he couldn’t share all the fun he was having with his dear mother tree. This imprinted quite strongly on Earth, as evidenced by his duels with Playmaker and Onizuka wherein he uses a tree as his platform to duel. So, this strong bond for connections would absolutely cause Earth to adore Kusanagi Shoichi.

Now, to conclude the examination round with Windy. With Windy’s Origin’s status still hidden from us, save for his appearance and even then… there is speculation, it is impossible to make grounded claims. So, i’m not even going to bother save for reiterating it seems to be a safe bet to say that Windy’s Kid is an only child. So that’s that, even if its a cop out but what do we do with this information? 

Well, to long didn’t read, this was the perfect - if a little bizarre - case study to examine the Origin-Ignis relationships through and to long didn’t read, all the Ignises have some sort of proclivity towards enjoying familal pack bonding and Kusanagi Shoichi is just too powerful a big brother, but I couldn’t entwine the “mother complex” thing because I don’t perceive as being like ducklings who see anything go “yep, that’s my mum” because Shoichi has brother energy. Uncle energy if you stretch it. But thank you for reading!

[imthesimpleme-blog]

A glimpse behind her mask. (part 2- knowing the deeper me)

What is my dream? What do I want to become?

I am Ma. Lourie May M. Mina, a simple 18-year-old teenager, having an average life living in the peaceful barrio of Brgy. Capirawan, Palo, Leyte.

When I was still a kid, I’m being usually left in the care of my grandparents because my mother has to go to the school she teaches. While after sending my mother off to school early in the morning, my father has to go to our rice field before the “mayas” finish devouring the rice grains.

I have three younger siblings, and as the eldest, it is expected that I am always the mastermind of every trouble that will occur.

I could still remember the day when my sister and I discovered a pair of scissors being hidden in the attic. My grandmother was busy planting in her garden while my grandfather was also focused on making bamboo chairs. I didn’t know what came into my mind when I started cutting my sister’s hair off. But it seemed that she’s actually amazed looking at her hair falling on the ground.

Spending my early elementary days at Campetik Elementary School, where the PNP Regional Office was almost just ten yards away, it was common for me to see trainees jogging on the street with muds all over their bodies and with very exhausted faces full of sweat.

That’s the time when I finally thought that someday, I will also be wearing that blue striped uniform. Being a policeman as my dream was the reason for me to act superior towards the other kids. Some of my mother’s co-teachers would say that I am boyish since I always bully my boy classmates by pulling their shorts down. Sometimes, being involved into boxing and wrestling even if we’re in the middle of the class.

But my mother thought of a bright idea that turned my whole world upside down. When I turned grade 3, I was transferred to Palo Central School. There, I finally felt that I don’t have friends anymore. For the first time in the history of my life, I was bullied. The clever and tough me changed into a cry baby in my new environment. Every day, I’m always afraid of what will happen the next day.

But as I turned grade 4, I learned how to defend myself and finally learned my lesson. From that moment on, I am not a bully anymore and neither to be bullied.

Since there are a lot of fruit bearing trees all over the yard in my grandparent’s house, it was always my task to climb up to the roof top to get some guava,” santol” and” dalandan” while my siblings were waiting for me to hand over the fruits with their heads facing upwards.

From then on, the rooftop where the guava,” santol” and” dalandan” trees seemed to converge, was the place where I considered as a safe zone. A place where I could be alone since I’m the only one who can climb the trees up to the rooftop. It was the only spot where I could spend my time whenever I get to repay all the troubles I did and that was after my mother scolded me.

And most of all, the experience that I considered as the highlight of my childhood was when I climbed a twenty-year old “santol” tree and didn’t notice that a big colony of bees was hiding behind its two big branches. When I went to school the other day, my classmates thought that I have a chicken pox because of the bite marks on every inch of my exposed skin.

I spent my high school years in Palo National High School. I met my first crush there. I seriously tried to keep it as a secret except to my two friends. But unfortunately, one of them did not intend to keep it to herself. Until the whole SPJ class knew who he was for me and later on, my crush knew it as well. But thanks God, my mother was his godmother that was why he considered me more of a friend than just a mere admirer.

I somehow miss my old school since it was the place where my talents were first acknowledged. I won first place in siday making. I became a part of the desktop publishing group in our Filipino publication. I was also a singer of my school’s Circle of Performing Artists. And my feature and editorial writings were also published on our English school paper even though I often get allergic into writing in English. I even wrote some poems in our literary page.

PNHS was where I really envisioned the future me. Which was to become a cadet either in the Philippine National Police Academy or in the Philippine Military Academy. I also had a lot of true friends there. They’re also the reason why I never gave upon my dreams. Even when most people say that I can’t make it because I don’t know how to swim, I’m not tall, the training is rigorous and many other reasons.

When I was in grade 9, I also felt how to admire a girl. Yes, a girl. She was the reason for me to finally forget all the bitter sweet memories of my campus heartthrob crush. In the middle of my high school years, I somehow wondered if I’m a lesbian.

But the answer to my somehow, “identity crisis” was finally concluded. It was summer before I moved to Senior High when I met this tall, dark and handsome guy in a “sayawan”, a plaza where the annual disco is being held in connection to our barrio fiesta celebration. When I saw him approaching with his hand reaching for a dance, that was the first time I literally felt the whole world stop. Seriously, I am not joking.

Months passed and we are still in touch through texts and chats. I learned so much about him and so is he. I am really comfortable conversing with him. Not to mention his matured “paasa” style. We also shared our thoughts, ideas, including our dreams in life. I remember he even got shocked when I told him that I want to become a cadet in PNPA.

But I was glad he is not the same as those who are discouraging. He said that he knows I can make it. Several weeks have passed and we totally don’t have any communication at all. And it was all because of me. I told him not to contact me anymore for some reasons.

Last October 2017, is when I took the entrance exam for PMA which was held in Eastern Visayas State University, the same school where he studied engineering. My parents were so supportive of me taking that exam, and we actually went there early. As I was falling in line, I saw a familiar figure. It was him and I wasn’t just day dreaming or hallucinating. The minute I saw him standing in the middle of the throng people that will take the exam, many questions kept running on my mind, “What is he doing here?” “Is he here to wish me luck? But that’s impossible!” “Maybe he has a class later and he’s just looking on what’s the matter.” I don’t even know if he ever saw me because I just hid my face with a piece of paper.

The next month, the results were finally posted online. As I saw the entire list, I was surprised for two reasons. First was unfortunately, my name wasn’t on the list. And second was his name was printed bold and clear as a passer! It took me some time to process the whole thing out. At first I was really disappointed. I really want to pass the exam since it was the only possible way to make my lifetime dream come true. Later on, I found out that he also found out that he also passed the entrance exam in PNPA! But as I asked my friend Anagay, “Why is it that my dreams happened to him instead?” The only thing that she said was, “Your dreams happened to him because he himself is your dream.” 

[the-merricatherine]

Why can’t y’all just decide to be what you already are – more like us – a white co-worker named Travis asked me in the early 1980s. He was a diehard Southern Baptist, Reagan was the newly elected president, and we were working at the Chicago Pullman plant, laying on our sides all day or night, whatever shift it was, routing ducts and cabling in the tiny equipment rooms beneath Amtrak cars, talking politics and history. I’d just brought up the war in Vietnam, in which the US killed 3 million Vietnamese alone, and the murderous wars in Central America which were happening as we spoke.

But you were born here, Travis insisted. Your parents and grandparents were born here, not over there. You’re an American, just like me. What are those people to you?

... I’d just brought up the war in Vietnam, in which the US killed 3 million Vietnamese alone, and the murderous wars in Central America which were happening as we spoke. I probably threw in some references to the ongoing wars for liberation in southern Africa as well where the US was backing, financing and arming the wrong side as usual.

There’s an internet current of US-born black people calling themselves ADOS, the American Descendants of Slaves who seem to be trying their level best to be the kind of Good Black Americans Travis talked about.

The ADOS people claim to be relentless advocates of reparations for the crimes of slavery, Jim Crow, the prison state and more, but with an important right wing twist which sharply differentiates them from the previous generation of reparistas.

ADOS followers throw away the internationalism of their forbears, embracing instead a sometimes polite, but always frank hostility toward immigrants of all nations on the grounds that they’re either economic competition for native-born blacks, that they’re stealing the contracts, the patronage, the affirmative action and similar spots which ought to go to native-born black Americans, or that they are somehow cashing in the accumulated moral and social capital which belongs to the US born descendants of slaves alone.

It’s a tribal thing, #LineageMatters, ADOSers tell anybody listening, and anyone not a US born descendant of US slaves on both sides of the family is in some other tribe. Until last summer’s wave of public revulsion at the deliberately cruel separation of refugee children from their parents at the border, the kindest sentiment you could find on ADOS Twitter feeds was the equivalent of Latinos don’t never stand up for us, why we gotta stand up for them?

Yvette Carnell and Antonio Moore, originators of the #ADOS name and hashtag would like us to believe ADOS is a movement. But that claim is made so often by so many canny self-promoters that it’s hard to take seriously without some kind of proof. Carnell has been doing podcasts, internet writing and commentary, and most reccently YouTube blogging the past several years, while former LA assistant DA Antonio Mooreis a more recent entry into the world of internet propaganda.

ADOSers may be misguided, but they don’t take money or direction and have no need to borrow bad ideas from the Russians We’ve got plenty bad ideas already. Their insular tribalism, and ADOS co-founder Yvette Carnell frequently refers to #ADOS, American Descendants of Slaves as in terms of “our tribe” is entirely home grown and very very tribal. If you look, you can find similar, and similarly backward looking ideas represented in every country on this planet. Like patriarchy and monarchy tribalism is one of those ancient backward looking but widespread human social contraptions which belong in a museum.

ADOSers take a different road. Being tribalists rather than internationalists, ADOSers rarely mention the existence of class differences among American blacks. They usually manage to ignore the very existence of the US empire in whose heartland they and their tribe were born and raised, let alone explain how that global capitalist empire generates the influx of refugees to its center, to which they object so vehemently.

But clearly the refusal to talk about class is a kind of class politics itself, while the inability or unwillingness to examine and acknowledge the role of global capitalist empire in creating transnational refugee flows is a de facto endorsement of the same. Opposing white supremacist and capitalist empire is what an actual left would do, and whatever ADOSers are, they ain’t leftists.

ADOSers are in a permanent rage against Democrats, and declare that like it or not this election cycle will be the one in which the issues of #reparations2020 and #tangibles2020 will be relentlessly pressed upon every party, every candidate. ADOSers see Democrats as going out of their way to appease and pander to every other voting constiuency EXCEPT the descendants of slaves who are owed reparations.

ADOSers forget how candidate Barack Obama won the whopping majority of the Latino vote in 2008 and 2012 by promising them a road to citizenship. But President Obama proved to be the deporter-in-chief, with an all time record 2 million deportations, so many that even a two-term Trump administration is unlikely to match his total. There may not be enough undocumented people and green card holders to hang the necessary misdemeanor under current law which allow the feds to manufacture deportation cases against. Like his successor, President Obama separated immigrant families at the border and built hundreds of miles of border wall, leaving only the last six or seven hundred miles for Trump successor to complete. Obama opposed gay marriage in 2008 , only coming around when election to a second term seemed certain. The pandering to other voting blocs that so enrages ADOSers is pretty much fakery, but as tribal folks will do, ADOSers seem to perceive only the slights, the lies, the insults which are directed at them.

ADOS leaders Carnell and Moore have probably never participated in, probably never seen a mass movement against unjust authority. As far as most of us know, they’ve never organized a new union or tried to take over a corrupt old one, never led a rent strike, never helped found or lead a cooperative, never gotten themselves arrested for defying unjust authority. There was a time when those sorts of credentials were required for aspiring black leaders.

https://www.blackagendareport.com/ados-shrinks-reparations-politics-fit-narrow-horizon-tribalism