#ok not like penelope at all but anyways

[butterfly-siege]

Ok i was really gung ho about making a few languages for my novel, and i still am largely. But hoooo boy the learning curve. It goes from ‘wow neat!’ To deep philosophical questions about what even is language and also look how we prioritize certain structures and check this out! Hidden metaphor. Rethink everything, you’re biased immensely by the languages you speak.

Im going to keep with it but i am feeling very intimidated and also lots of respect for conlinguists. A++

[sunshades]

miss penelope 🧵 + cathy 🌿 warmups induced by listening to too much mountain goats today....

[gotta-bail-my-quails]

something so appealing about a lil sadistic bastard of a man who could kill you in mere seconds but who also can act the perfect gentleman

[rebeccccccaaa]

Poker Face!

_______________

Spencer Reid x Reader

:: It’s game night at Rossi’s, a little pasta al dente, poker chips from Emily’s place, and a little too much Italian red wine. Poker after hours becomes a new playing field when you and Spencer decide to finish your game of blackjack back in his place. ::

:: warnings :: smuttt! and super mushy gushy fluff, sex under the influence (both parties drank alcohol), strip poker (kinda you’re playing blackjack), afab!reader, no mention of contraceptives oops...

:: authors’ notes :: i didn’t realize until i finished the story that spencer probably has his own poker set, he’s literally from vegas; anyway thanks for all the love on my last fic too sweet, hope you guys enjoy this one just as much <3

WC~ 3.1 k

________________

“Ok, ok! That’s enough!” Emily shouted, swinging her glass around. 

“Careful, Prentiss. This carpet is fine Italian wool. Gifted from my first mother-in-law,” Rossi scolded, Hotch chuckling beside him. 

“You guys are relentless,” she continued.

“I can beat him, I know it!” you shouted, your eyes comically wide. 

“No shot, sweetheart. Reid is literally banned from every casino in Vegas, you think you can really beat him?” Derek commented.

“I may not be banned from Vegas casinos, but I never lose Blackjack,” you argued.

“Honey, you’ve lost eight games in a row!” JJ shouted, laughing and holding her stomach. 

“Nevermind that! I’m gonna beat you Reid, if it's the last thing I do,” you narrowed your eyes playfully at Spencer, who sat as dealer with a giant grin on his face.

“I hate to interrupt this incredibly captivating game of Blackjack, but I’m kicking you out. It's late and an old man’s got to get some rest,” Rossi interrupted, erupting a series of ‘Boo’s’ and groans. 

“Come on, come on. Call your DD’s, call your taxi cabs. Or if you want to stay, you can start washing the dishes,” he bargained. 

Suddenly, all at once, everyone stood up practically scrambling and giggling like kids to avoid cleaning up. Penelope, Emily, and Derek hopped into a cab and Hotch drove JJ home then himself considering he hadn't anything to drink that night. That left you and Spencer, lingering on the sidewalk nudging each other in a fit of giggles. 

“I assume you’re gonna take a cab?” he asked you.

“That’s the plan.”

“So we can share since I don’t live far from you. I’ll walk from your place,” he suggested. 

“Oh no, no. Look what I snatched when everyone started leaving,” you pulled out the briefcase of poker chips that Emily had brought for that night out of your tote, “We’re going to your place and finishing what we started.” 

“Oh boy, you have no idea how long it's gonna take. We’re gonna be up all night!” Spencer laughed, and you gasped. 

“You’re an asshole,” you shoved him, before calling a taxi.

You squeezed in the back of the cab, legs bumping against each other. You felt your skin light up, you’ve always felt a certain way about Spencer. I mean who wouldn’t? Well actually, not a lot of people. You always tried to hide the pangs of jealousy or your faces of reluctance whenever the women you were working with or interviewed on cases would flirt with him, unnecessarily albeit. This happened more often than you care to admit or notice. 

You walked into Spencer’s apartment, tossing your bag on the couch before falling to your knees and putting the briefcase on his coffee table. You opened it up and began shuffling the cards, quite intensely to make sure Spencer wasn’t going to cheat. You knew he wasn’t, his brain was too smart, but you did it for confidence instead. 

“Do you want anything to drink?” he asked from the kitchen.

“Whatcha you got?” you asked.

“I’ve got a couple of beers, probably a little old. Oh, I still have the bottle of wine that Rossi gave to us for the new year,” he told you.

“Oh! Bring the wine! We’ll drink the beers later,” you winked at him, “Let’s get the fucking party started.”

It was late into the night now. You lost count how many times you’d lost to Spencer already. Just a couple of hours passed, and the wine was almost finished. You and Spencer couldn’t stop laughing and wiggling around. As Spencer shuffled the deck, a request you made him do after every turn, you came up with a devilish idea. One that would definitely get you in trouble should the outcome be anything other than what you would hope. 

“Ooh,” you cooed, mischievously.

“What?” Spencer questioned.

“Oh, nothing, just had an idea,” you were smirking, or rather trying really hard not to burst into laughter. 

“This can’t be good,” he mumbled, shaking his head. 

“Why don’t we spice things up, shall we?”

“No, no way,” Spencer already knew what you were going to say. 

“Strip Poker!” 

“No!” he shouted, a big smile on his face contradicting his words.

“What, you scared? Scared that suddenly I’m starting to beat you and you’re gonna have to take all your clothes off?” you teased.

“No, I am a gentleman and I’m not gonna sit through watching you take all your clothes to prove a point,” he argued sassily.

“You are way too confident for your own good, Dr. Spencer Reid. You’re just chicken.”

“Ok, fine then. You dealer, or am I?” he asked, pouring the last bit of wine into your cup. 

“Why don’t you hit me this time,” you said. 

“You got it,” he responded, “Care to shuffle while I grab the beers?”

“Of course. About time we crack those open,” you smiled widely. 

Now sitting down, face to face. Staring intensely at each other for a moment, hints of mischief and amusement in both your eyes. As you shuffled the cards well, Spencer couldn’t help notice the way your eyes were practically sparkling in the warm light of his apartment. How soft your skin looked in the light too. He doesn’t know when it happened. If it happened just now, or maybe he’s always felt this way about you. 

Maybe it was those times where he felt a little more protective over you than the others on more brutal cases. The feeling of responsibility for you, to guide you, when you first join the team since you were the same age. Or maybe it was when you let him practically talk your ear off about peculiar facts regarding the case you had wrapped up. The small smile of your face knowing he thrived in these moments. The sweet giggle you let out when Morgan and Prentiss groaned knowing he would begin yet another tangent. 

Yeah, it was definitely then he realized how special you were and how much he wanted to keep you in his life; in more ways than one.

But in this moment, when you handed him the cards with the most devilish smirk on your face, Spencer felt a wave of avidity, longing for you more than he ever has before. He felt so conflicted about the game you were about to play. He respected you so much and yet craved to see you, to have you, in this very way for so long already. He didn’t know what to do. He dealt the cards however, entertaining the idea, and you tapped the table for cards before taking a big swig of your beer.

“Fuck,” you muttered under your breath, Spencer’s breath hitched. 

You took off your earrings first and Spencer quirked an eyebrow. 

“What? Were you expecting me to take off my shirt right away?”

“No,” he shrugged before giving you the deck to shuffle again. 

“I swear to-” you cursed, pulling off one of your rings this time.

Your shoes came off, then your socks. All your accessories were scattered on the table before you. The last game you stood up unbuttoning your pants. Spencer clenched his jaw, averting his eyes downward as you peeled your pants down your legs. It took quite literally everything in him to not drool over you. You sank back down to the ground, the bottom half of your body shielded by the table and Spencer looked back at you again. He dealt the cards. You asked for a card, and Spencer knew then you would lose. The probability was certain. When he hit Blackjack and you didn’t, Spencer gulped and you sighed in defeat. 

Staring boldly at Spencer, you disrobed your last garment that would give you some kind of modesty. Your bra is on full display with nothing else but your pair of underwear. You had a crucial decision to make if you ended up losing again and you were seriously considering that would be the case, the butterflies erupting violently in your belly. 

“We don’t have to keep going,” Spencer cleared his throat.

“And why would I do that?” Maybe it was the alcohol in your system that gave you this sudden courage, this seduction. You were starting to have fun seeing Spencer squirming on the couch, the bobbing of his Adam’s apple. You suddenly wanted to egg this round on as long as you can. 

“Ok, then,” he muttered, as he dealt the cards, slowly this time.

Spencer had a face down card, assuming it was a value of ten like always, and an eight. You had a seven and a three, you were fucked. You needed an ace and you’d hit blackjack, or you could build up; but that’s risky. Maybe Spencer can go over. You had a chance, you know it. Your chest was moving fast and shallow, but your face was stoic and firm. Spencer on the other hand was antsy; his eyes frantic and his leg bouncing. You knew he was staring at your chest. You planned to use it to your advantage. Was it fair game? Yeah, yeah it was. It wasn’t your fault he was distracted.

“Hit me,” you egged.

“You got it,” he responded. 

A five. Fuck. 

Spencer hit himself and he drew a seven. Those are bad cards. He most likely went over and you might actually finally beat him. 

“One more time, boy wonder,” you snapped. A six. A beautiful six of hearts. 

“I stand,” he mutters, probably knowing he lost. 

“Let’s see those cards, baby,” you teased.

“You first,” he told you, and placed your cards. 

“Blackjack, baby!” 

Spencer laid his cards revealing his seven and eight and underneath a nine, he busted; the cards of course. You won, you finally won. You jumped up in celebration, prancing in your undergarments around the room giggling and cheering. 

“I did it! I fucking did it! I beat the boy genius, fair and fucking square! You lose Spencer, loser!” you shouted taunting him and he couldn’t help the smile painted in his blushing face; he almost forgot you were prancing around almost naked in the middle of his apartment. 

“I- I was distracted,” he shuttered. 

“Damn right you were,” you joked, squeezing your breasts to flaunt them in his face. 

“It wasn’t fair game,” he bantered.

“It wasn’t fair game, my ass. I won and you lost, and you’re being a sore loser,” you mocked as you walked towards him like a panther, playfulness and seduction dripping from your tongue. 

Spencer took the moment you walked near and grabbed your wrist yanking you to stumble into his lap. You were shocked, surprised, a little turned on. You held onto his shoulders, your breathing a little quicker than before. You tried to convince yourself it was from the celebratory dance and not the growing bulge from Spencer that poked you from beneath. 

“I told you, I was distracted,” he told you, his hands finding a place at their hips. Fingers caressing delicately the hem of your underwear. 

“Blah, blah,” you whispered.

“Don’t give me that.”

“Now, Spence, I believe there is something you have to do, is there not?” you whispered.

“What’s that?” he bantered.

“You lost.”

“Right, unfairly I might add,” he joked.

“If all you’re gonna do is talk, then let me do the honors,” you told him. 

“Be my guest.”

Your fingers pulled gently at his tie he wore, pulling over his head and tossing it to the side on the floor. You started unbuttoning his shirt, Spencer staring with heavy eyes at you as you did so.

“I thought we were only taking off one item. We should play another round then if you want my shirt off,” he teased you, bringing his hands to gently hold your wrists.

“Like that’s gonna happen,” you rolled your eyes playfully. 

Spencer relaxed against the back of the couch as you unbutton his shirt all the way. You brought your lips down to kiss softly at his collarbones and his shoulder. Moving along his chest to kiss the other side. His hands moved slowly against your hips, fingers sliding between the fabric of your underwear and your skin. Your skin erupted in chills, a tingle running through your spine making your ears feel hot. You dragged your nose along his strong jawline before nipping your teeth playfully against his cheek. 

He brought his hands up, fingertips tracing your spine until he reached your bra. He skillfully unhooked it leaving you a bit breathless for just a second but a second too long. You could feel it, without even needing to look at him, to know he had such a teasing smile on his gorgeous face. You wanted nothing more than to kiss it off him. 

You shrugged your bra off, tossing behind him giving him a playful wink which made him chuckle. You brought his hands to your breasts as you pulled his head towards you by the back of his neck to kiss him feverishly. Something you both had wanted to do for quite some time now. You wiggled your hips a bit, feeling the prodding against your center, which made Spencer groan lowly in the kiss; his hands squeezing your breasts hard in discomfort. 

“Fuck, you’re gonna drive me insane,” he told you.

“Let me say hi to your little friend, Spence. Or do you want to play for that too?” you taunted him.

“God, no. I couldn’t wait a whole other hour for you to beat me again,” he bantered making you scoff and roll your eyes; his hands shot straight to his zipper to pull his pants down just enough for the both of you. 

You were practically itching to get your panties off. Standing up suddenly, both you and Spencer reached instinctively to pull them off you, his lips attaching themselves to your soft belly and hips. He freed himself from the constricting fabric of his pants and pulled you down, or rather yanked you to him. You couldn’t help the bubbly laugh that came from you making Spencer smile blissfully. 

You bite your lip as you reach between your bodies, lining Spencer up against you perfectly. The warmth radiating from you was driving him crazy. It took everything in him to not suddenly take control and rut his hips against you. You sank slowly down on his length, not so little, you thought yourself.

“Oh jeez, I feel like I could come already,” you gasped, the pressure building in the pit of your stomach felt already overwhelming. Maybe it was the fact you hadn’t had sex in years. You felt starved of this kind of touch, this kind of intimacy. The kind of feeling of Spencer’s cold fingertips touching and gliding across your skin like you were glass. Yeah, that was the feeling you didn’t know you needed, you didn’t realize you craved so much until this very moment. 

“I’m a bit embarrassed to admit the same,” he chuckled breathlessly, “If you don’t start moving, I’m not gonna be able to hold myself back any longer.”

You took this as the green light to start rocking your hips back and forth. One hand resting against his cheek and the other stabilizing yourself against the frame of the couch. Spencer’s hands rocked with you, his way of helping and understanding the rhythm you were going. He started, with gaining confidence, to buck his hips into you and that’s when the pleasure began to build. You panted heavily above him, moans every now and then escaping your mouth to echo against the walls of Spencer’s small apartment. 

“Shit. You feel so good,” he breathed out, “I thought I’d last longer.”

“Please, please don’t come yet,” you begged; bringing your forehead to his. You could see his skin becoming shiny with sweat, his cheeks flush with redness. Spencer, determined to make you come before him, or at the very least with him, reached between your thighs rubbing fast and swift circles against your clit. Your hips jerked with pleasure and Spencer’s name dripped from your lips like honey. 

“Oh, that’s it,” Spencer whispered. His free hand came up and pulled you in a passionate and sloppy kiss. His tongue entwined with your and you moaned wildly as did he. His brain was fuzzy, not that your’s wasn’t also, with the sounds of sex, the rhythm of your hips, the warmth of your slick soaking his fingers. 

“I’m close, fuck I’m so close, Spence,” you whined.

“Let go, sweetheart.”

“Ngh!” you moaned loudly. You dipped your head forward resting your forehead in the crook of his neck. Your bodies were so close, your bare chests pressed against each other. You both could feel the other’s breath and slowly you began to match each other’s erratic rhythm the closer you got to your climaxes. You messily pressed your lips against Spencer’s one last time before the wave of electrifying pleasure overcame you. 

When you came down from your high, all you could feel and hear in that moment was Spencer. His soft pants brushing your ear, his arms cradling you close, his subtle leg shaking from what you assume was him also coming with you. 

“That was really good,” you giggled.

“It really was,” he agreed.

“I’m gonna tell everyone about this,” you whispered wickedly. 

“What?” Spencer questioned fearfully. 

“I beat you in Blackjack,” you reminded him, making him laugh loudly. 

“Give it a rest you would?” he sighed. 

“No way. I’m gonna tell everyone. And everyone’s gonna tease you because I beat you fair and square. Unless, you wanna admit that my boobs were distracting you from your card counting tricks,” you teased.

“Alright, you won fair and square,” he smiled blissfully at you, his eyes soft and gentle in the warm light.

You giggled sweetly bringing him in a tender kiss, definitely not for the last time that night. Your bodies were entwined for the rest of the night until the tepid sunrays peaked meekly through the curtains of Spencer’s bedroom window. The two of you sharing giggles between the sheets with his arms embracing you the way they had been all night. Needless to say, blackjack continues to be your favorite poker game. Especially now more than ever. 

[disneyprincemuke]

the other woman * mv1

everything falls into place in your mind when max fails to show up for you at the one event you desperately wanted him to be at

pairings: max verstappen x fem!reader

warnings: cheating, jake gyllenhaal type behaviour

notes: hi i know i promised this on xmas eve and then i failed to deliver mY BAD BABY GIRLS! i am trying my best but then again i did get a fever and all but its ok lfg and NO I WILL NOT BE WRITING A PART TWOOOOO

(f1 masterlist)

your eyes watch your front door, bottom lip caught between your teeth as you try to hold yourself back from crying. there's a sob bubbling from the deepest part of your gut as you glance at the clock one more time.

he's late.

but one can also say that he's simply not coming. did he lie when he told you that he would make sure he showed up for you this time? or did he just simply forget about you again?

your eyes have been staring at that door for the better part of the last hour or so since guests started arriving for the party you'd thrown.

a party you'd thrown, admittedly, just to get his attention. you were never one to make a big deal of your birthday anyway, but he made you think otherwise. because he promised you that he would be here no matter what happened. it's stupider that he was the one that encouraged you to throw a party today.

only for him not to show up?

this is the one time you needed him to so desperately show up for you. but here you are, looking like a fool waiting for somebody who wouldn't come; for somebody who didn't even make you a first choice.

because you know that when if push comes to shove, he would still pick her. max would always pick kelly and penelope over you, no matter how much he tells you that he loves you. no matter how many times you endured him telling you that he no longer wants to be with her.

you know better than to be his little secret. your parents had not raised you to be a potential homewrecker, but are you really being one if he's the one that keeps coming back to you?

you've tried staying away, and you've attempted to cut all sorts of contact with him, but he eventually crawls right back to you a couple of weeks later claiming that he will break up with kelly soon.

you've even bought a new dress for the occasion; in max's favourite colour and a cut that you knew he would say you look amazing in.

only for him to bail on you. you'd even taken the effort to sit for an hour to do your makeup and hair. for nothing, essentially.

fast forward a couple of hours of holding back tears and forcing smiles, you're hunched over the couch, picking up empty beer cans and tears streaming down your face. at the end of the day, you're left alone in your apartment with a heavy heart and the eerie silence the room can only offer you.

you watch the last car from your guests drive away. you sigh and throw yourself on the couch, finally letting the tears fall from your eyes. you had no idea it was so difficult to pretend like you're okay until today.

it's totally different when it's got something to do with the heart, it seems. you were totally banking on the fact that he would be here today, at least today. just today. because it's your birthday.

it's your day.

a knock on the door sits you right up, hands darting up to wipe the tears that smudged your makeup. "give me a second!"

"it's just me."

the anger suddenly hits you. so he is available to travel out to come and see you. just not a couple of hours prior when everybody else was here? just not at the time when you actually wanted him to be here?

you stomp your way over to the door and swing the door open and a string of apologies quickly spill from his mouth. you immediately notice the wrapped present in his hand and the bouquet of flowers.

"i'm sorry, i got held up at home," max apologises with a frown. "p had a fever and she wouldn't go to bed unless i tucked her in. i'm sorry, i know i'm late."

you sigh, rolling your eyes. "you're not just late," you scowl, "you missed the party entirely, max."

"oh," he slumps his shoulders, "i was wondering why it was so quiet when i was walking up."

you shake your head and walk further into your apartment. "max, just go home. you don't have a reason to be here."

"what do you mean? it's your birthday," he says gently, following you in. he closes the door behind him and follows you into your living room. "is there still cake? maybe you can blow the candles with me before the day ends? i even got you a present."

"no, i let people take home pieces of the cake," you say softly, returning to your agenda of cleaning your home from the traces of the party your friends left. "what am i going to do with cake that i don't even eat?"

"you bought chocolate cake on your birthday? you don't even like chocolate," he points out softly. "nevermind that, i got you a present!"

"i don't give a fuck about your stupid present, max!" you burst, standing up and turning to finally face him. "i didn't ask for a fucking present! i asked you for one thing and you couldn't even do that!"

he stares at you, dumbfounded with his lips parted in shock at your outburst. you're not typically one to have outbursts, which is the one thing he claims he finds very refreshing about you. you're calm and collected most of the time, and you assess the situation before picking fights. "p was sick. what did you want me to do?"

"you're telling me you're a sole parent to this little girl?" you ask. "kelly couldn't have tucked her in so you could show up to the party that you asked me to throw? on my birthday? max, you had one job and it was to show up for me tonight! i waited for you all night!"

he seems to have lost all ability to speak because he just pulls out a chair from your dining table and takes a seat. "i'm sorry. you're right, i should have been here."

"seriously, max! are you actually ever going to leave them or do you just lie straight through your teeth whenever you tell me that?" she scolds him, throwing her arms in the air. "i'm not stupid, max! this has gone on long enough!"

"i am, and i will!" he answers you, running his hands through his hair. "i just need more time. there's a child involved, i really hope you understand. i can't just leave."

"you say that every single time! it's been seven months!" you cry. "you've made me the other woman for seven long months! am i supposed to just sit here and take that? just because i love you?"

"i do love you! but it's complicated, okay? i can't just leave p like this!"

you clench your jaw. how many times have you heard that excuse in the past year? and how many more times will you be fooled by the sweetness in his voice and his glistening blue eyes? "max, i think you should go. lose my number, and forget that i ever existed. i can't do this anymore."

his head snaps up to you. he quickly walks over to you, throwing his arms around you from behind. "wait, don't say that. please, i promise. i'll leave in the next month. don't leave me. i really don't love her anymore."

"i'm so tired of the lies, max," you sigh, desperately tearing his arms away from your body. you take a step back and turn to him. "you will always choose them over me. it doesn't matter how much you love me, max. you're too attached to them to leave."

"listen to me, okay? i will leave them. and then we can be happy together like we talked about all those nights we spent together," max coos, putting his hands on your shoulder. he bends down slightly to look into your eyes. "please, just give me one last chance - more time. i just need time. i will let p down easily and i'll leave kelly. please."

"i don't know how many more times you think you can fool me with that lie, max!" you frown, shoving him back. "just leave! leave me alone! i refuse to let you make me look like an idiot! i'm better than this."

"i thought you said you understood my predicament. with p in the picture..."

"yeah, for seven long months. do you know how many days that is? how many hours i'd spend with you wondering when you'd finally take me off the backseat and make me your own officially?" you throw your head back and a dry laugh passes your lips. "max, just leave. don't call me again."

"you don't really mean that."

"i do this time," you say firmly, turning around to face him.

you circle around him and walk over to your front door, pulling it open and gesturing towards the hallway. "i'm done. take your flowers and your stupid present and leave."

he does what you say, hesitantly. he keeps his eyes on you, hoping that you will immediately change your mind. he travelled this far to get to you, hoping that you would somehow forgive him for missing your birthday party.

but you're right, now that he's had a couple of seconds to think about it. in the past seven months, he's told you that he'd up and leave kelly and penelope so he can finally be with you openly. it's much harder to keep you in the shadows when everyone's got eyes on him all the time.

perhaps it's the attachment to penelope that he can't get himself to pack his things and call it a day. he genuinely does love that kid. and his girlfriend has her good days - not all make him want to pull at his hair in frustration anymore.

but he also really does love you. if there hadn't been a loveable child in the picture, one that's grown very attached to him, he would have been able to walk away months ago. it could've been that easy.

"just hear me out," max says, stopping right by the door and giving you one last pleading look. "don't leave. not like this. we haven't even had a real fighting chance."

"that's because of you. not me," you answer dryly, looking up at him. "just go. i can't keep having this conversation with you."

"please."

"i gave you too many chances to make this right," you sigh, putting a gentle hand on his back to guide him out the door. you press your lips together as a lump forms in your throat. you're more shocked that you hadn't fully started bawling moments ago. "i should have done this a long time ago."

"i'm sorry."

"i'm sure you are. too little too late." then you close the door on him and whatever could have been with max.

[miley1442111]

motherly instincts- a.hotchner

a/n: i imagined a fem reader but as per usual, imagine what you like :)

summary: aaron's mother can only be helpful to you postpartum, right?

pairing: husband! aaron hotchner x wife! reader

warnings: fluff, body shaming, feeling of discomfort, postpartum, reader is postpartum and aaron's wife.

You were pregnant. It wasn’t exactly planned, but Aaron and you were ecstatic all the same. Jack was excited to have a new sibling and he was totally ok with it. At your wedding, you had adopted Jack, meaning you were already one of his legal guardians. The only problem was telling everyone. The team were ecstatic for you, Jj giving you tips, Spencer sending various articles on pregnancy and childbirth, Derek promising his babysitting service, Emily promising to come and help out in anyway, and Penelope sending you cute baby clothes ideas (and buying them for you).

But telling Aaron’s mother. 

That was a shit show. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“You’re pregnant?” she repeated. The lack of emotion in her face and voice made you feel practically sick. “Why?”

“Mother-” 

“Is Jack not enough for her?” She asked like you weren't even there.

 You took a deep breath. “I adore Jack, you know I do. We weren’t exactly planning this-” Wrong thing to say.

“So you don't want the child?” 

Aaron rolled his eyes, taking your hand in his. 

“Of course we want our child!” You exclaimed and she looked taken aback. 

“Aaron, she’s shouting at me!”

“I will be too if you don’t stop this mother.” 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

She had since reached out and apologised, so you felt that it was ok to let her come and stay for the week, they were her grandchildren too.

You had given birth to twins, two girls. You named them Elizabeth (Beth for short) and Natalie (Nat for short). You both loved both of them so much. They had taken Aaron’s dark hair, and your eyes. They were beautiful. You adored them. Aaron adored them. Jack adored them. 

Aaron’s mother… not so much.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Day 1

She had already bulldozed through your regular routine. You were exhausted from literally growing two children and then pushing them out and into the world. Aaron understood that. Jack understood that. Aaron’s mother did not. She expected you to just be fine. She expected you to do all the cooking and cleaning while she took care of your newborn babies. Aaron basically had to put her in a time out and lock the door to the nursery to let you just be with your children for more than a few minutes. Jack loved coming in to see his sisters whenever he could, which meant Ms. Hotchner also had to be allowed in. So, you were basically banished unless you wanted to argue, and trust me, you didn’t want to argue with that woman. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Aaron?” You mumbled as you climbed into bed beside him, both the twins and Jack down for the night. 

“Yes honey?” he whispered, wrapping you in his arms. 

“Do you think you could talk to your mother? Just about letting me have some down time with the twins?”

“Of course darling, I didn’t realise it was that bad,” he looked down at you. Even through the darkness of the room, you could see the guilt on his face. 

“It’s not!” You lied. “Just… I don’t know,” You sighed. “It doesn't matter, sorry for worrying you. You shouldn’t say anything.”

“Are you sure?” He asked, scepticism clear in his voice. “I’m happy to talk to her. She’s only supposed to be here if she’s helping. If she’s not helping we can ask her to go home.”

“Aaron, it’s alright, I promise.” 

“Well, tell me if it gets bad, alright?  I know she can be overbearing sometimes,” The amount of care and love present in his voice and words almost brought you to tears, so you just nodded and pressed your head into his chest. You felt him chuckle. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”

After a few minutes of his comforting voice and soft hands lulling you into drowsiness, you were asleep. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

When the baby monitor went off and you slept through the cries of your children, Aaron smiled. He was happy you were getting sleep. Insomnia had been the prevailing issue of your pregnancy, and it drove you crazy. He got up, swaddled and fed his babies, checked in on Jack and got himself a glass of water. He lay down beside you again and cupped your cheek. You were sound-asleep as he looked at you with all the love in the world. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Day 2

“Did you sleep?” You asked your husband. “I’m so sorry I slept through it, I just… next time you should wake me up, ok? I’m so sorry-”

He cut you off with a kiss. “I was fine, don’t worry. I’m glad you’re finally getting some sleep,” he smiled playfully at your glare. 

“I can take Jack to school if you want to lounge around for a bit?” You offered, hopeful that he would let you. He shook his head and dipped down, kissing you again. 

“I’m fine. I’ll walk him there, then go for a run.” 

“That’s a brilliant idea!” Hotch’s mother exclaimed. “She’ll go for a run and drop Jack off. She needs to start getting rid of the baby fat.”

Your jaw genuinely dropped. There was no way anyone would have the nerve to say that to you. Not when you were literal weeks postpartum. You knew you didn’t look the same as before, you hadn’t expected to. But to be confronted with it so blatantly was a stab into your confidence. 

Aaron’s face hardened and solidified into one of irritation and annoyance. “What did you just say to my wife?” 

“Aaron. We can’t lie to her! It would just be a disservice,” your mother-in-law said as she stood by the coffee machine, a frown on her lips. “It’s only a few miles-”

“If you ever think about talking about my wife in that way I will not hesitate to block your number. You can pack your bags Mother. I’ll call you a taxi,” Aaron got his phone out, a comforting hand on your waist. 

“Aaron, that’s a bit drastic-” You tried but his voice cut yours off, ordering a taxi to your house. He thanked the person on the line and smiled at you as he hung up, his mother’s temper tantrum beginning. 

“She doesn’t get to talk to you like that. No one does.” 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

There was no day 3. She left your house, essentially cursing you, but you didn’t care. It was finally the way it was meant to be. Just Aaron, Jack, the girls, and you. 

Your perfect family. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

[discotitsposts]

You’re lucky you’re cute

reader and reid flirting at the party of a mutual friend

she/her pronouns used

some mature themes and choice words used. overall supposed to be lighthearted and silly

i love this photo so much

You were getting ready for a party a good family friend of yours was hosting. You had known David Rossi since you were a little kid and it’s rumored you were somehow related. Rossi treated you like his own and had been there for you your whole life. He had even helped you out of a few legal jams you’d found yourself in high school.

He had seen you first learn to walk, started school, hugged you while you cried on his expensive suit when you went through your first breakup, and graduate high school. Now you were going through academy training to work at the FBI. You wanted to be just like David.

You had never met anyone on his team in the BAU except Hotch. He had told you about everyone though. You were most excited to meet Penelope she sounded like a ray of sunshine. You were very intrigued by the mysterious Dr. Spencer Reid. He sounded very interesting. According to Rossi he could read 20,000 words per minute and had an eidetic memory. How amazing is that? Being a bit of a smarty pants yourself you definitely wanted to talk to him.

You had also learned he was apparently wildly handsome from what some girls at the academy had said. Though you’d never seen a photo of him, he sounded fantastic.

On the drive to Rossi’s mansion you listened to your favorite music. Singing every lyric to kill your nerves. You parked and it seemed everyone else had already arrived.

You ring the doorbell and Rossi opens it. When he sees you he smiles proudly and yells “Principessa! Sei bellissima!” He hugs you and brings you in to meet the team.

“You know Aaron, this is JJ, Emily, this is Derek Morgan.” You shake each persons hand as he says their name.

“Ah, the infamous Derek Morgan.” You say. “Nice to meet you all.”

“Pleasures all mine, gorgeous.” Derek winks at you. Emily punches his arm. “Leave her alone weirdo.” She scolds.

A brightly dressed woman with beautifully styled blonde hair runs into the room carrying two wine glasses and speaking excitedly.

“Is she here yet? Oh hi!!” She pulls you into a big hug.

“You must be Penelope! I’ve heard so much about you. All of you. What about the infamous Dr. Reid? Is he here yet?” You nonchalantly ask.

“She’s developed a little bit of a crush on our good doctor.” Rossi spills.

“I have not!” You pout, embarrassed by this very true fact.

Everyone chuckles. The doorbell chimes loudly through the foyer.

“Uh oh, it’s your future husband.” David teases.

“Keep it up and I’ll pour your vintage scotch down the drain.” You retort. Rossi puts his hands up in defeat and goes to answer the door.

“Here’s the one I want you to meet! Spencer, this is our little star of the FBI academy!” Rossi boasts. Dr. Reid smiles and waves at you. You reach your hand out to shake his and he frowns. They were right. He’s literally so handsome I can barely think. You think. Barely.

“I don’t shake hands. Too many germs. It’s actually safer to kiss.” He tells you.

“Ok, come here then.” You reach out and pucker your lips. Spencer slowly backs away and clears his throat.

“Oh my god, wait no I was joking.” You quickly attempt to retrace what you said. Ever so embarrassed you quickly change the subject. Spencer smiles shyly.

“Anyways, um David told me you have an eidetic memory. I think that’s really fascinating. I actually couldn’t wait to meet you and have a conversation with you. I really really want to get to know more about you! Not that I was obsessed with you before even meeting you, definitely not the case. That would be weird. You’re really cool, I mean you seem cool because how would I know that. I never met you before. Although I was expecting more of a mad scientist look to be honest. You’re really attractive though, I mean your face is scientifically perfect I mean… you know what I’ll be right back” You ramble on and realize you’re embarrassing yourself. It’s not your fault. When you look at Spencer’s face your brain goes to mush.

You excuse yourself and try to run away to the safety of a nearby restroom. Someone grabs hold of your wrist despite the estimated germ count.

“I’d love to get to know you too.” Spencer’s smiling at you.

“You don’t think I’m a crazy rambler?” You ask, worriedly.

“I’m a bit of a rambler myself.” He chuckles and leads you to a nearby couch. You two end up talking for over an hour about everything. He tells you about his mother, his life in Vegas, and how he’s banned from multiple casinos which made you laugh so hard. You tell him stories of Rossi when you were growing up. The time Rossi had choked on some of his pasta when babysitting you and had spat it out through his nose. This makes Spencer crack up.

“Guys look.” Morgan motions to you two talking and laughing. Everyone else at the party looks over.

“I had a feeling they would get along.” Hotch breaks into a smile. Rossi however is scowling.

You leave to refill your root beer and David walks over to Spencer.

“Hey Rossi, she’s really fun to talk to. Thank you for inviting me tonight. I’m having so much fun.” Spencer smiles up at him.

Rossi plasters on a fake smile. “Are you?” Spencer nods happily. Rossi’s face grows serious and he leans in, “Good, because if you hurt her, just remember, I would know exactly how to get away with murder.” Rossi smiles at Spencer and pats his back and walks back to the party. Spencer swallows nervously.

“Wasn’t planning on it.” He whispers to himself.

“Wasn’t planning on what?” You walk back in and hand him an extra root beer.

“Nothing. Thanks.” Spencer smiles and opens his root beer.

“So tell me more about when you got kidnapped by a cult leader?” You ask eagerly.

“Well this guy, his name was Benjamin Cyrus. We infiltrated his cult by pretending to be child protective services. Me and Emily got caught in the middle of crossfire. SWAT shot at them, they shot back, and put us all in danger.” He tells you everything about that case. You watch in awe at the way he talks. “Rossi actually brought them fried chicken with a microphone bug in the bucket.” Spencer laughs recalling the silly detail.

“Mmm sounds delicious.”

Rossi has been keeping his eye on you two. You look really happy but he likes having Spencer terrified of him. Your back is to Rossi and when Spencer makes eye contact. Rossi points at you and then Spencer and makes a cutting motion on his throat. This makes Spencer nervous. You notice him turn pale and turn around. You see Rossi is just playing cards with Aaron.

Penelope goes around passing out liquor to everyone. “Bottles for everyone!” She cheers over and over slurring her words. Morgan wrangles her to sit back down, stumbling, also intoxicated. You down your bottle and Spencer watches in shock.

You get crazier and Spencer goes to put the bottle Penelope had handed him, back in the kitchen. You’re dancing or trying to anyway. Spencer accidentally bumps you and you pull him down with you. The bottle in his hand breaks and splashes all over you both. Rossi hears a loud crash and comes into the kitchen.

“What the hell happened in here!” Rossi shouts noticing the red liquid trickling everywhere and you, in a now-red stained dress.

“We fell.” You and Spencer say at the same time.

You giggle, “Jinx!”

“You know the origin of the jinx was actually-“

“Clean this up brainiac!” Rossi cuts him off and hands Spencer a sponge.

“Yes sir.” Spencer falls to his knees and starts scrubbing. You notice the room felt hotter as he did so. Was it the weather or the sight of Spencer working hard?

“I’m sorry you got red wine all over you. You looked really nice. Not that you don’t look nice anymore. You look beautiful. I just feel bad your clothes got stained now.”

“Of all the days to wear a white dress. You’re lucky you’re cute Dr. Reid.”

You pick up a different sponge and help him clean.

“You don’t need to help.” He starts.

“It was partly my fault. Plus I know he’s gonna come in here and try to see if he can see his reflection in the tile. If he can’t,” You make a cracking sound and air-motion bending something, Spencer presumes to be, his neck if the red wine doesn’t come up.

“The guys so rich he can afford someone to professionally clean.” Spencer laughs at this.

“I know! One time when I was seven I accidentally spilled some jam and he told me if I didn’t clean it, all the jam in the world would disappear and I could never eat it ever again.”

Spencer opens his mouth in shock, “That is so mean!”

“It worked though.” You say while scrubbing the floor harder. He laughs so loud. Something he noticed he hadn’t done in a long time.

You decide to push his buttons a little since practically none of the wine got on him. You flick some water and soap at him.

“Hey!” He splashes you with some water back.

You stand up and discreetly grab the water sprayer on the sink and turn it on full blast. Spencer yells and with no way to defend himself, tries to stop the water with his hands. Penelope and Morgan run in and you spray them. Everyone’s laughing so hard you don’t see Emily come up behind you with a bucket of water. She throws it on you and you scream.

“ITS COLD!”

Hotch and Rossi walk in and shake their heads in disbelief.

“I’m disappointed in you all,” Hotch starts. Everyone stops and fearfully looks at him. “for not including me in the fun!” He grabs the water sprayer from you and splashes Rossi. While you’re all fooling around you notice a groundbreaking discovery. Spencer’s lilac purple shirt is completely see through and soaked. His nipples are even hard from the cold water. Hot damn.

You show up behind him and squeeze his hand and pull him to one of the bedrooms. You both lean in and kiss softly. You attack his lips with kisses and soon the kisses mesh together and become messier. He’s moaning into your mouth while you attempt to rip his shirt off.

“Wait.” He stops you. You pull away confused. “If Rossi’s upset about some red wine won’t he be more upset if we get… you know what on the bed?”

“Cum?” You ask. Spencer makes a disgusted face at your choice of words. “Nah only if he comes through with a black light.”

“No I meant the…stains.” He points at your dress, his face completely red.

“Oh this?” You motion to your now red dress. You reach behind you and untie your dress, letting it fall to the ground. You stand in front of him completely bare. Good thing you chose to not wear anything under it this evening.

You start to hum ‘Summertime Sadness’ while you stalk towards him. When you push him back on the bed you hear a loud knock at the door.

“AHHHHHHHH” Spencer screams while covering his crotch with a blanket. You simply pick your soaked dress off the ground and sloppily put it back on. Rossi continues pounding his fist on the door.

“Tie me.” You command.

“Huh?” Spencer looks up confused and disoriented. You motion to the back of the dress and Spencer ties a cute bow with the strings. His nimble fingers moving as quickly as they’ll allow. He thinks Rossi’s fist might soon break through the door. You calmly walk to the door and carefully turn the knob.

“Hello.” You smile sweetly.

He simply crosses his arms and glares at Spencer. “Both of you, out. Now. I don’t even want to think about what you were thinking of doing in my guest bedroom young lady.” He wags his finger at you. When Spencer stands up to leave, Rossi stops him with his hand.

“Remember what I said I’d do if you hurt her. She’s like a daughter to me.”

“I-I-I won’t David, I was actually going to ask your permission. If I ma-maybe could take her on a date?” Rossi’s eyebrows raise at Spencer’s request, as if to say, tell me more. “I think she’d enjoy a film fest, they’re playing some old monster movies down at the drive in, some are in Russian, but that’s alright because I could translate to her. I’ll have her home by 11:30 I promise.” Spencer’s stumbling over his words nervously.

Rossi bursts out laughing, “Kid she doesn’t live with me anymore. She’s an adult. You don’t need my permission. Hope you two have fun. I was only worried about my sheets!” He runs to the bed fixing the creases you two had made.

After that he asked you if you’d like to go, of course you said yes. That Saturday night you two had so much fun and fell in love even more.

the end :)

pls pls tell me some of u thought this was even a little bit funny

actually pls tell me if u enjoyed this at all

i’m laughing so hard writing the part about his nipples help

fun fact when i wrote the part about reader wearing a white dress i was listening to this

[swtnrcmnt]

୨୧ — s.r x bau!r; headcanons

more spencer content !! woo ! after publishing the spencer x singer!reader headcanons, i was like yes this is so cute but imagine bau!reader... heart explosion omg. so enjoy !

i've always thought it would be so cute if spence and bau!reader met in like season 1, and then stayed together throughout the whole show. that's just so cute to me :')

like. you probably had a desk directly opposite him and would just tease and bother him to see him get all flustered

your relationship probably started as like a 'fights like siblings' relationship and over time escalated to something more

oh he was for sure the first one to fall in love and fall hard

talking to him about pop culture stuff while he's trying to work and he's just telling you the logic behind things and statistics of you getting married to the hot lead in a new movie

he really really appreciates how much you care about his random little statistic facts. while the rest of the team is now "sorry i asked" you're the one who's like "no, go on" SFUSHDB MY HEART

is so so so nervous to ask you out so he goes to derek for some advice and right away you can tell he did

him coming to work with a new book for you to read since you said you wanted to start reading more

and in exchange you convince him to start reading romance novels and watching reality tv muahahaha

hanging out on the jet after a case and the rest of the team is betting genuine money on how long it'll take for you to get together

being there for him through all the shit he went through since the rest of the team was just soooooo oblivious

fast forward a bit, and this is now the prison arc.. ugh it would hurt so bad to see everything go down knowing you can't visit him because you're on a case and can't call him

i need somebody to write a bau reader reaction to cat adam's pregnancy thing (i can't 100% remember but I'm pretty sure spence wasn't the father anyway) and it causes a small problem in your relationship but blows over pretty quickly

omg speaking of pregnancy imagine having a baby shower with the team :')) penelope and rossi would spoil the shit out of that baby and it isn't even born yet omg

bringing baby reid to the bau to meet the team and spence is just so proud he's a dad now he's just showing her (yes her, he's a girl dad idc) off to everyone he sees like "look at my cute daughter!"

getting married too omg. having the wedding in Rossi's backyard like jj and will did (bc it's now tradition i said so)

scolding him for every stupid decision he makes in the field. for ex, literally taking his vest off in a train full of hostages and a psycho with a gun

but it's ok because at least he's still alive !

i love this dynamic so much it's so cute

my heart is in pieces now bye

that's all for now ! i hope u enjoyed :)

[radiant-reid]

hiii Cate!

Ok I think I have officially read everything you’ve ever written ( disregard the mini spam I went on yesterday) but i just came to the realization that I have never requested or like once requested something. So fell free to disregard this but your hot wife blurbs got me thinking. Can you do one where she’s new to the BAU and everyone is placing bets on who she would date but everyone strikes out until they find out that she’s a lil nerd which phds and everything and they do so by Spencer going “well Mrs Reid you working here now will be the best ever” and Hotch or someone just goes “yeah if you morons would listen to Penelope instead of placing bets you would realize he’s hyperventilating having noticed that Spencer and her are married.

ANYWAYS HII I LOVE YOUR WRITING AND I HOPE YOURE HAVING A GOOD DAY.

i am SO sorry it took me so long to write this grecy and i kinda switched this up a little as well !! i hope you're doing well

"It's going to be me," Morgan declares, leaning back in his chair as the three of them not-so-subtly stare into Hotch's window and at the new woman sitting in front of him. She had been in there since they got into the bullpen that morning.

Emily and JJ scoff at him. "It'll be me. JJ agrees." Emily disagrees. They're arguing- without even having met her- over who's going to date her.

"No." JJ shakes her head. "I didn't say that. Hotch is single, you know?"

"That's what I'd be betting on." Spencer chimes in, somehow managing to hide his smirk.

"Seriously?" Morgan asks, frowning at Spencer in the way he does whenever dating or relationships are brought up. "She's way too hot to be Hotch's girlfriend."

Spencer can't keep everything he knows in for much longer. "I heard she's got a Ph.D. so she's probably too smart to be yours."

"Hey," Morgan complains, whining. "I could date a doctor."

They all frown, tipping their heads to the side and silently asking him if he's serious. Before Morgan can defend himself, Penelope gets their attention, practically buzzing with her iPad in her hand.

And before they can ask her what's got her so excited- something Spencer can guess since she's pointing at him- Hotch and the mystery woman walk, shaking hands, and where they can all hear them. "We're excited to have you on the team, Doctor Reid."

They all catch that, their heads quickly switching between Spencer and his...wife?

"I think someone already figured it out." She jokes, looking at Penelope, who's freaking out. "I'm Y/n Reid, Spencer's wife." She holds out the back of her hand, showing off the rings on her finger.

"And she's not going to date any of you," Spencer adds, glaring playfully at speechless Morgan and Emily.

[somethingswift19]

Alt+Nerd= <3 Pope x (f) reader

| Warnings:

| Summary: The bubbly alt girl falls for Pope, the nerdy and serious guy.

| (a/n): I had a good reaction to the alt reader x obx so I wanted to continue that a little bit :) I'm so tired so if this is awful I apologize but I had fun writing it so that's really what counts right? Not proof read.

Leaning up against the lockers you watched as the whole pouge friend group walked past, sighing to yourself. Since freshman year you had had a thing for the smart one, Pope. He was so cute and serious and when he got all serious it made him even cuter and more adorable in your eyes. He was misunderstood and looked over a lot for John B and JJ. And even when he wasn't being looked over, he rarely noticed when girls hit on him. Green flags tbh.

But this brings you back to today...as you watched them all walk passed you knew you were probably not his type considering he was dating Kiara but a girl can dream. You had your black and blue hair straightened and pulled back into pigtails, neon green glasses, black cropped hoodie, skinny jeans, and orange nike airs on. "Hey! You ready for class?" your best friends voice snapped you out of your trance.

"Oh yeah, sorry," you shook your head and smiled before grabbing your bag and walking to AP biology. Tapping your pen on the desk, you day dreamed as the teacher went over the previous test. This was your favorite class but today you were just distracted. Before you knew it, the bell rang and you realized you hadn't taken a single note. Shit you thought. But that's when you had the idea... "Hey Pope!" you yelled after the boy as you ran to catch up to him.

"Uh...hi?" he looked at you confused. Honestly fair considering you have had probably two conversations with him in total. "What's up?"

"Oh, well...I kinda have a problem," you began. "Is there anyway you can go over the science notes from today with me? I didn't quite get all of it." Correction, I was staring at you like a total stalker for the entire class and wasn't paying any attention.

"Oh uh, yeah sure. Meet me at lunch and I'll give you my notes," Pope said as you nodded.

"Lucky I have the smartest guy in school in my class!" you responded cheerfully.

"Well technically Thomas Jennings is the number 1 in our class so he would be the smartest. I'm probably top five-" he rambled on before you cut him off.

"Pope," you stated. "Take the compliment and go with it. A cute girl is calling you smart."

As lunch rolled around, you met up with him and you copied down his notes from the day. "I like your glasses by the way." This snapped you out of you concentration.

"I'm sorry?" you asked not quite processing.

"Your glasses," he smiled. "They're cool. I like them."

"Oh," blushing hard core, you smiled. "Thank you!"

"Sorry if this is weird," he started, scratching the back of his neck. "You remind me of someone."

"Yeah? And who might that be?" you put your pen down and smiled. You were in the conversation now. Can't take this for granted.

"Abbey from NCIS," this time he came across as shy.

"Wait, no way! Thank you so much! I've always loved her and Penelope Garcia from Criminal Minds. I think that's where my style comes from. But Oh my God Thank you!" you knew you were rambling but fuck it. "Wait you watch NCIS?"

"Oh yeah, I love that show," Pope chuckled at your enthusiasm. "I always wanted to be like Duckie. I want to be a coroner."

"That's so dope," you smiled. "I want to go into forensics."

"That's not people's usual reaction to that," he stated.

You could stare into his eyes all day, good God, "Hey, we should meet up at the wreck after school. I mean if you want."

"Yeah! My friends and I were already planning on meeting up there later," he started. "You can come with us."

"Ok! I would love that!," this time it was your turn to chuckle. "Maybe after we can have some alone time? Just the two of us?"

"Wait...what?" the quizzical look he had on his face was adorable.

"Here," you said grabbing his arm and writing your number down. "I've been flirting with you for the past half hour for the record." You winked at him and started grabbing your things.

"I-I'll text you," he called after you and JJ looked over at him giving him a thumbs up. You knew he was watching you leave as you walked out of the cafeteria.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Time Skip After Shool~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As soon as you got home, you got ready to meet up with the pouges and considering this was the first time, and you were hanging out with pope, you had to look decent. Deciding on ripped black skinny jeans and a blue halter top with David Bowie vans high tops, you threw your hair into a half up half down bun and put on some lashes. Your green glasses still adorning your face. Dabbing on some lip gloss, you took one final look at yourself in the mirror before heading out.

Pope's friends were really nice and very chill honestly! Kiara was standoffish at first but quickly warmed up. And you learned Sarah Cameron was nothing like you expected! "So Ms. (Y/n)," JJ exclaimed throwing his arm over your shoulder. "Pope has told us a lot about you." Pope was signaling for him to shut the fuck up but that's not what JJ does.

"Has he now?" you giggled looking over at him.

"I wouldn't say a alot..." Pope was trying to hide his face now.

"Really?" JJ began. "So she isn't the cool, colored hair girl who is the only person who is better in science than you?"

"And she isn't the sweet and talkative girl who reminds you of...what's that show again?" Kiara chimed in laughing and using hand motions.

"Ok, ok, leave him alone," John B very kindly said. "And the show is NCIS."

"That's right!" everyone exclaimed at once embarrassing him and making you laugh and look at him sweetly.

"So exactly how smart are you to be better at Pope in something?" Sarah asked putting a french fry in her mouth.

"Oh, um," you were blushing now from the attention. "I'm just freakishly good at science. He's still smarter than I am." He smiled and shook his head at you. After a couple hours the two of you snuck off, but not without whistles from the others. Walking down to the shoreline, having your feet touch the water as you looked at the shells and things washing up. "Thank you for inviting me to hang out with you and your friends."

"Oh, it's no problem," he stated. "Thanks for writing your number on my arm. JJ was proud." This caused you to chuckle a little bit.

"Earlier you said I wasn't what you expected," you said softly. "You aren't what I expected either."

This time his facial expression was nervous as he snapped his head to look at you, "In a good way or a bad way?"

Smiling widely up at him, "In the best way."

"(Y/n)?"

"Pope?"

"Do I have permission to kiss you?" he asked slightly awkwardly.

"Always," you responded sweetly. As your lips met, it was everything you had dreamed of. His hand came to rest on your face gently as he pulled you in closer causing you to throw your arms around his neck. The nerdy guy kissing the goth girl in the moonlight? How many cliches can you guys check off at once? But none the less, this was the perfect night.

[jq37]

How do you rank the Rat Grinders in terms of "most want to be friends" vs "die"

Honorable Mention #1 spot goes to Lucy Frostblade who seems like an absolute sweetheart. Anyone who's doing the Cinderella thing w/ the local rodent population is worth befriending in my book. Hope you're resting in peace now girl. You would have loved Zayne Darkshadow and Edgar.

(1) Oisin: OK listen, I am aware that all Rat Grinders must be regarded with some level of suspicion but come ON. I want so so badly for him to be exactly what he's been portrayed to be--a hot buff nerd who is easily flustered by Adaine. Fig got a wizard girlfriend so Adaine should get a wizard boyfriend. That's just equity. Don't you believe in equity Brennan? Joking aside, I think it would be really nice for Adaine to have another someone in her life who thinks she's great and tells her that since she spent so long deprived of that and is just recently starting to get that from people. Anyway, would love another wizard paramour in the Bad Kid rotation.

(2) Buddy: Hear me out. This dude absolutely needs to be deprogrammed a bit but so did Kristen when we met her. And his heart seems to be in the right place. I think he could be a good friend if they approach this from the right angle/are interested in flipping him. Also I went to college in Alabama, alright? His southern charm got me.

(3) Mary Ann: I haven't really gotten a solid read on Mary Ann yet. Is she suspicious or worn down or just Like That? No way to tell yet. But she hasn't actually done anything wrong yet so she gets this spot.

(4) Ruben: I'm more suspicious of Ruben this week than last week after his performance turned about to be a secret ritual, and he's also consistently been shitty to Fig which I don't like. But I'm suspicious abut how much of that is his natural energy and how much of that is related to the rage god. He wasn't emo when he started, remember? He was all smiles and braces and acoustic guitar. People can just genuinely change for the worse but I dunno. Might be something there and the Bad Kids ally list includes SEVERAL people who should be in jail right now so you know. Open mind.

(5) Kipperlilly: Kipperlilly is frankly just more fun as an antagonist than as an ally lol. Like even outside of the point that they hate her to the point of refusing to properly say her name so friendship was never an option, it's just not the most fun route.

(6) Ivy: Choke on grapes, bitch. I hope she ends up in hell with Penelope. This is Fantasy High. You can be a murderer but you can't be RACIST.

Interested to hear anyone else's takes if their list is different!

[jenniferjareauwife]

Could you do a celeb reader x jj where the teams finds out who reader is and is shocked

Actress

pairing: jennifer jareau x fem reader

category: fluff

warnings: innuendo

word count: 823

summary: request above 👆

"Are you sure they're gonna like me?" I asked.

"Of course. They're gonna be jealous. Of me. Because I'm the one who get to spend my life with you."

"Don't they have some kind of prejudice against actors or something?" I looked in the mirror and fluffed up my hair a bit, about to re apply my lipstick before she stopped me.

"Babe. It's gonna be fine. This isn't a red carpet. They're coming to my apartment. It's fine."

"Yeah but-"

"None of them are gonna care if you're best dressed or not."

"Are you sure."

"I promise. They're FBI Agents. Not the founders of Prada."

"Ok." I let out a breath and flopped down on the couch.

"They're gonna love you."

Fifteen minutes later all of JJ's friends came through the door at once. They all froze once they saw me, stopping their laughter and their conversation. "JJ you said her name was y/n. YOU NEVER MENTIONED IT WAS Y/N Y/L/N!" I woman with blonde hair squealed.

"Well I didn't-" JJ started.

"You have no excuses." The woman rushed over to me. "Hi nice to meet you I'm Penelope Garcia. I loved you in Dune!" She had a huge smile on her face.

"Thanks. It's nice to meet you." I shook her hand and looked over at the rest of her friends who had their jaws hanging open.

"Ok guys. Stop staring. I have sandwiches out on the table and a few games picked out." JJ sat down next to me and put her hand on my back.

I tried to remain casual, like I didn't have a dozen eyes watching me from across the room. "Do they always stare?" I whispered to her.

"Just at you."

"Thanks." I sighed and leaned into her.

"They just didn't expect it to be you. You know? They're shocked that they're meeting a celebrity, and that I'm dating one." She kissed my cheek and pulled me into her. "If you're uncomfortable just tell me."

"Ok." I rested my head on her shoulder, smiling as everyone came into the cozy living room.

"Do you guys wanna watch a movie or play some games?" JJ asked.

"What's your next movie?" A muscular bald guy asked.

"I actually can't say."

"Come on. We won't tell anyone."

"I legally cannot say."

"What's your favorite color?" A woman with dark brown hair asked. "I'm Emily by the way."

"Um...probably purple." It was refreshing to be asked such a simple question again.

"Do you have any pets?"

"I have an Australian Shepherd named Elmo."

"I have a cat named Sergio."

"I've always wanted a cat." I gave JJ a small pout. "I've tried to convince JJ to get one but she says one dog is already too much."

"JJ!" Penelope gasped.

"What?" JJ tried to defend herself but her fate had already been decided. Penelope and Emily started attacking her on how she could say no to getting a cute little kitten. "Are you gonna defend me at all or no?" JJ asked.

"No. Because I agree with them." I shrugged and listened to the rest of their lovely points about why we should get a cat. "See? We could get a little ginger cat and you can pick the name."

"But-"

"Baby please." I gave her my best puppy eyes and everyone laughed. I felt more relaxed now. These were cool people.

"Ok fine." Everyone cheered so I laughed, hiding my face in JJ's neck. She stroked my hair and kissed the top of my head. "See? They love you baby." She whispered to me. "You had nothing to worry about."

"Well I know that now." I tilted her head towards mine, pulling her in for a sweet kiss. I felt everyone's eyes on us but I didn't care. We would have to get used to it anyways, once we went public.

"I never would've guessed you were this lovey dovey." Morgan said with a laugh. "In all your movies you play such cold hearted characters."

"I like a challenge." JJ smiled and kissed my cheeks a few times after I pulled away. I looked back at her and pecked her lips before giving her my bedroom eyes.

"Ok guys, party is over." JJ announced.

"We've only been here for an hour." Penelope protested.

"Why are we leaving?" Spencer asked, confused as Morgan tried to usher him out of the room. "Guys?"

"It's ok Spencer. One day you will understand." Emily sympathized. I giggled as JJ pined me down to the couch, excitement rushing through me as I heard the door shut. Before JJ went any further she just stared into my eyes, leaning so close our lips were just centimeters away.

"I love you so much."

"Why don't you show me then?" She didn't wait a second to connect our lips in a passionate kiss. I knew it was going to be a long night.

[byersbootyshorts]

Sweet Sorrow (S.R.)

Emily’s death effected the whole team, but it hit Spencer the hardest. And when he’s at his lowest, it’s you he comes running to.

MENTIONS OF DRUGS AND ADDICTION!!

Word Count: 1,878

Warnings: s6!Spencer, gn!reader, hurt/comfort, mentions of Emily’s ‘death’, Spencer crying, mentions of drug use, mentions of addiction, language

well this turned out deeper than I expected

It was 11pm when you heard your doorbell ring. It was awfully late for someone to be at your door, you thought, but you hadn’t planned on sleeping anytime soon anyway, so you decided to answer it. You got up off your couch and as you were walking to the door your doorbell rang again, followed by insistent knocking.

“Alright, alright, I’m coming,” you shouted, annoyed at this person’s impatience.

You rolled your eyes as you reached the door, suddenly not in the mood for visitors anymore. But your mood shifted when you looked through the peephole and discovered who was outside your apartment.

“Oh my God, Spence,” you said, unlocking your door as fast as your fingers would allow. You flung the door open and took in the image in front of you. Spencer was standing in your doorway, his eyes red and puffy from crying. His whole body was vibrating under his large coat.

“Can I come in,” he mumbled after you’d been staring at him in shock for a bit too long.

“Yes, of course, sorry.” You quickly moved aside, allowing Spencer to enter your home. He slowly shuffled in, not daring to look up from the ground. You shut the door and walked over to comfort him by taking his hand in yours.

“Spencer, what’s wrong,” you asked, although your question was futile. You knew exactly what was wrong.

Ever since Emily’s passing none of the team had been the same. But Spencer was hit the hardest with grief. It wasn’t necessarily because they were the closest or because he missed her the most. Stuff like this just effected Spencer. You hated admitting it to yourself but you’d almost grown numb to the grief your job as an FBI profiler gave you. Obviously, Emily’s death broke you, but it had been weeks and you’d had to force yourself to get over it and move on.

Spencer wasn’t like that, though. He couldn’t just let the pain slide off his back. You’d noticed it at work. He’d been distracted and wasn’t his usual genius self. But you didn’t know how bad it was until he was standing in the middle of your apartment, trembling with misery.

“I just-,” he began, but he couldn’t continue. He started to sob, tears streaming down his face.

“I’m sorry,” he choked.

“Hey, it’s ok,” you said, pulling him tight to your chest in a hug. You shushed him, rubbing the back of his head in an attempt to comfort him.

You stood there for a while, just holding him as he wept into your shoulder.

After a few minutes his breathing became slower and he calmed down. He pulled away from you and slumped down on your couch.

“I just miss her,” he mumbled.

“I know,” you replied, sitting down beside him and placing a consoling hand on his knee. “We all do.”

“Well then why am I the only one still crying about it every night,” he said, fiddling with the corner of one of your cushions.

“Ok, first of all, I’m sure you’re not the only one still crying over her. Have you met Penelope Garcia?” you asked sarcastically. He let out a hesitant chuckle.

“And secondly, who cares if you’re still crying about it? I’m glad you are,” you revealed.

“What do you mean?” Spencer looked up at you with a confused expression.

“I mean, I’m glad you still have the humanity to be upset about this. I’m glad your letting your feelings out rather than bottling them inside you.”

“Please stop acting like a shrink,” Spencer complained.

“I’m not,” you retorted. “Ok, maybe I am. But I’m serious. I’d rather you come here every night and cry to me than stay alone in your apartment and hold all your sadness inside you.”

You couldn’t tell what had set Spencer off again but something caused his eyes to begin to water once more.

“Oh, Spence,” you said lovingly as he nuzzled into your chest. His tears began to soak through your hoodie but you didn’t care. He cried for another few minutes. You couldn’t do anything except wrap your arms around him and whisper to him that everything would be ok eventually. The agonizing sounds of his sobs were enough to bring you to tears, but you resisted. You had to be strong, for Spencer’s sake.

“Hey, why don’t we get this coat off you,” you said, noticing his red face. “Let’s get you comfortable.”

You began pulling on his sleeves, but he grabbed your hand.

“No,” he said authoritatively.

You raised your eyebrow, confused as to why he was so defensive over a coat.

“Ok, ok,” you said, taking your hands off him. “If you insist.”

From the minute you mentioned his coat something about Spencer’s demeanour changed. It was as if his sadness turned to anger.

“This is so fucking stupid,” he snapped, leaping up from the couch in rage. “Why can’t I just get over it, huh?”

“You will,” you said, trying to make your voice remain as comforting as you could. “You just need more time.”

“Oh yeah, how much more time?” he shouted. “Because, to be honest, I’m pretty fucking tired of this.”

He ran his hands through his hair. You didn’t know what to do. You knew how to comfort Spencer when he was sad but you’d never seen him this angry before.

“How come everyone has been able to move on with their lives except me?” he asked.

“I don’t know, Spencer,” you answered honestly. “You’re just more sensitive than everyone else.”

“Sensitive?” he yelled, his voice increasing in pitch the more he shouted. “No, I’m not sensitive, I’m weak. I’m just weak.”

You stepped closer to him and placed your hand on his arm.

“No, Spence, you’re not weak. You’re just a normal human being who’s experiencing grief because your friend just died. You’re normal, Spence, not weak.”

“Well, if I’m not weak then explain to me why I bought this before I came over here?” Spencer said, his voice cracking as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a tiny bottle.

And suddenly everything made sense. The reason he didn’t want you taking his coat. The reason he was so angry. Hidden in his pocket was a bottle of the drug that he had worked so hard to recover from, and he was craving a fix.

You inhaled sharply in shock, but you couldn’t get a word in before Spencer started rambling.

“I tried for so long to resist the urge,” he explained, his voice still raised higher than necessary. “I told myself I couldn’t go through that again. But as time went on and I still wasn’t over it, it got harder and harder.”

You stared at the bottle and needle in Spencer’s shaking hand and tried to interrupt him.

“Spencer have you-,” you attempted, but he interjected.

“So, you see, I am weak, because I bet none of you the rest of you needed drugs to get over your grief.”

“Spencer!” you shouted, finally grabbing his attention. He looked down at your concerned face.

“Spencer, have you taken any?” you asked quietly.

“No,” he murmured.

You sighed in relief and you saw the anger dissipate from Spencer’s eyes. But that anger was only replaced by more sadness.

“I thought about it. That’s why I bought it. But as soon as I did I realised I needed help and you were the first person I thought of. That’s how I ended up here.”

“And I’m really happy you came,” you said, holding out your hand. “Now, I want you to give me the bottle and the needle, Spencer.”

He hesitated, pulling his hand away from you. You looked up at him expectantly.

“Please give them to me, Spencer.”

You could see the pain in his eyes as he decided to place the Dilaudid in your hand.

“Thank you,” he said, relieved that you had taken away his weakness. But there was also a part of him that wanted to grab the drugs from you and run out the door. He stayed put though, watching as you poured the drug down the sink and threw the needle in the trash.

“There you go,” you said, returning to him and pulling him close to you. “It’s gone now.”

“I’m sorry,” he sighed, melting into your embrace.

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” you said, pulling his head down and leaning your forehead against his. He sniffed and you wiped a tear from his cheek.

“Do you need to go to a meeting,” you asked.

“I’d rather just stay here,” Spencer whispered.

You smiled at him sympathetically and led him back over to the couch. He sat down beside you and rested his head on your shoulder. You turned your face and planted a kiss in his hair.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” you mumbled into his hair.

Spencer sighed heavily before answering.

“I get these cravings all the time, you know. But recently they’ve gotten worse, and today I just couldn’t bear it anymore.”

“That’s understandable,” you reassure him. “With everything that’s happened lately you’re allowed to struggle. And I’m so glad you came to me instead of using. That just shows you how much you’ve recovered.”

“Yeah, but I still want it,” Spencer sighed, covering his face with his hands.

“That craving’s always going to be there,” you told him. “You just need to find a way to satisfy it with other things.”

You swiftly rose from the couch and headed towards your kitchen. Spencer’s eyes followed you with curiosity. You opened the fridge and lifted out a white box.

“Why don’t we try this?” you smiled, sitting back down on the couch and opening the box.

Spencer laughed when he saw what was inside. Chocolate sprinkle donuts.

“These are my favourite,” he chuckled.

“I know,” you replied. “And I know these can’t even begin to fulfil your cravings, but maybe they can distract you for a little while.”

“It’s perfect,” he said, biting into one of the chocolate covered treats. “You know, Emily used to buy these for me all the time. She said she was trying to put some meat on my bones.”

Spencer smiled, a genuine smile. Your heart melted at the sight.

“I think that’s the first time you’ve smiled when someone’s mentioned Emily since she died,” you pointed out, your eyes tearing up at his happiness.

“I think you’re right,” Spencer said, taking another bite. “I think I’ve been focussing on the sad memories for too long. I need to think of her as the funny, smart, amazing agent that she was, not some cold body in a coffin.”

“That’s more like it,” you beamed. “That’s the Spencer Reid I know.”

You knew Spencer still wasn’t completely over his grief. But at least in that moment he was happy. The journey to recovery wasn’t over. He’d still have the urge to start using again. He’d still spend nights crying himself to sleep. He’d still have bad days. But at least there were times like these when all those negative feelings seemed to go away. And at least you were there with him, making everything just a little bit sweeter.

[reidsaurora]

emmy may i request candy cane kisses with the prompt snowed in at the bau with our beloved Spence <33 hot cocoas and manilla folders

I'm so excited for your Christmas challenge!! Happy holidays love <33

"Snow and Sweet" ~ S. Reid

Summary: In which a cup of hot cocoa and a slip of the tongue leads to a mistletoe kiss and a love confession.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x GN!Reader (reader wears lipstick but fuck social norms)

Word Count: 1,493

Content Warning: the tiniest bit of angst because Y/N is lowkey insecure because of Elle, mentions of coffee and hot chocolate, like one (1) swear word, Spencer is autistic but what's new, honestly i think that's it?

Genre: Fluff, v fluffy 🫶🏻

Extra Notes: this took me soooo long to write but as they say, good things take time 🫡

Based on the Request: "emmy may i request candy cane kisses with the prompt snowed in at the bau with our beloved Spence <33 hot cocoas and manilla folders"

Originally Written: 01/03/2022

Beta Read By: @dungeons-are-too-cold

Criminal Minds masterlist can be found here!

"ofwilliamandwalter's Christmas special" can be found here!

You weren't quite sure how you found yourself in this position, but one way or another, you were stuck at the BAU… with Spencer Reid. Only Spencer Reid.

It wouldn't have been the worst thing in the world if you didn't have the biggest (and probably most unrequited) crush on the man.

You'd been working together for two years, straight out of the Training Academy. He must've been so smart he skipped training, you reckoned, because you were sure you would've seen someone as beautiful as him around and probably would've failed from being distracted by him.

Spencer looked much different now then when you'd first met, and if he'd looked like that in training, you were sure you would've tripped during your high speed chase at Hogan's Alley. His shaggy hair was replaced with neatly trimmed waves, his contacts were replaced with glasses that made him carry himself with a confidence you hadn't seen when you first met, and his shy, questioning smile was replaced with one of certainty. He seemed much more like his true self.

Any other time, you might've not minded being snowed in at the BAU. After all, it was a big enough building—a library on the second floor, a coffee shop on the first. But tonight was Christmas Eve, and you cursed yourself for insisting that you could finish up your paperwork and have time to make it to Penelope's apartment for a Christmas movie night.

Only five pages remained of your work when Spencer stepped toward your desk. "The Weather Channel says we might be snowed in." he'd said, his voice stupidly sweet, his expression stupidly concerned, his face stupidly beautiful.

Here you were, three hours later, sipping on some hot chocolate in your favorite work mug and avoiding Spencer like a plague. This was especially hard considering you were the only two people on this floor.

"You OK?" he asked, breaking you from your online shopping trance. "Well," he chuckled, "all things considered."

No. I'm trapped in here with the person I find most attractive who probably doesn't find me the least bit attractive. "All good," you smiled before taking another sip of hot chocolate.

He sat down in the chair next to yours, (Derek's, but it wasn't like he was there to use it anyway). A sideways smile stretched across his face as he said, "Well, please don't take offense when I say this, but I am a profiler and I can tell when something seems wrong. You've been avoiding me for one thing and every time we have spoken, you say three words or less."

"Not true," you pouted, crossing your arms in front of your chest. Your words reverberated in your ears, realization hitting you like a bus. "Sorry," you said, looking away. "I'm just not having the best night. I mean, I am stuck in the BAU with-"

You stopped abruptly, not sure how you'd let that much slip. Great, Y/N. Just great.

"With what?" he asked. Of course he caught that.

"Without Piper. She's my tabby cat." Well, at least he knows how much you love animals.

His mouth twisted. "You have a cat? That's so cool. I've always wanted a cat but I couldn't own one because my mom and I both have cat allergies." Of course he has cat allergies. How could I possibly make this worse?

Luckily, you stopped yourself before any more embarrassing things could slip from your tongue. Instead you took another sip of chocolatey goodness, thankful that it was the last one. "I'm gonna go make some more hot chocolate," you managed to say.

Much to your dismay, Spencer followed behind, reaching up into the shelf directly above you. His chest gently nudged your back, though his body felt rock solid. When did Spencer get so buff under those sweater vests?

"Sorry," he said with a blush.

You shook your head, perhaps a tad too fast. "It's all good." You turned your attention back to the fridge, grabbing the milk for your cocoa. Thank goodness Penelope stocks this fridge like she owns it.

A couple minutes had passed and you'd finished making your cocoa just as Spencer finished making his cup of coffee. You turned to walk back to the bullpen, but he grabbed your wrist with his free hand. Damn those hands. "Hey, are you sure you're OK?"

You set your mug back on the counter, your arms crossing tightly in front of your chest. "I am fine, Reid."

His eyes softened and his brows furrowed. "Did I do something?"

Your stomach churned at the thought of ever making Spencer sad or distressed. "Of course not! Why would you think that?"

"You keep avoiding me. You tensed up when I reached around you for my mug. You won't make eye contact with me. I'm just scared I've done something."

You shook your head, giving him a reassuring smile. "Spencer, you could never. I promise. I love you too much to ever-"

"You what?"

You froze in your tracks. If it hadn't been for hearing your slip of the tongue, Spencer might've thought you'd been seen a ghost.

"You love me?" he asked.

You couldn't move, you couldn't breathe, and the only thing you were sure you could do was hear because his question echoed in your head like he'd screamed it at the Grand Canyon.

"Y/N?" he called, waving a hand in front of your face. It wasn't until you blinked that he was sure you were still alive. You wanted to disappear. When you remembered that Spencer knew magic tricks, you were tempted to ask him how much you'd have to pay to see him make you disappear into thin air.

"If it's any consolation, I think I like you, which I know isn't the same but…" he told you, his voice trailing awkwardly. At least you weren't awkward alone. He chuckled for a moment before examining, "I sound like a seventh grader right now, don't I?"

Some of the heaviness left your chest as his response rang through your eardrums. "You… like me?"

He nodded softly, his cheeks tinged as red as your favorite Christmas mug. "I do. I'm assuming by what you said that you must really like me too."

You let out a deep sigh before looking up at him. "If I have to be honest, I've had the biggest crush on you since the day I met you. Up until about twenty seconds ago, I just assumed it was unrequited. I mean, the way you always looked at Elle before she left-"

He blushed with an awkwardly amused huff. "I suppose I should admit that I always thought Elle was pretty. Doesn't mean I thought she was prettier than you."

This time, a rouge made its way to your own cheeks. "Really? I mean, Elle's got everything. A nice body, she's smart, she's beautiful, and I'm… well, I'm me."

An expression of reassurance overtook his face as he placed a hand on your shoulder. "You are both beautiful in your own ways. You shouldn't compare yourself to others. Yes, I liked you both, but for different reasons. I always thought Elle was pretty. But you… I think you're beautiful. And you've always been kind to me. You're one of the only people here who respects my neurodiversity."

Your eyes darted away awkwardly, up to the roof—or rather, what was hanging from the roof. Why does the universe hate me?

Spencer must've noticed your eyes, widened and focused on whatever was above his head. His head tilted upward, and you were secretly thankful your eyes were stuck to the roof, otherwise you might've melted on the spot after seeing that one stupidly beautiful vein in his neck. "Huh," he said, his tone the most nonchalant you'd ever heard, "mistletoe."

"Yep," you replied, the p popping louder than you'd expected it to.

He looked back down at you, his cheeks redder and hotter than ever. "Hey, traditions are stupid anyway. We don't have to-"

He stopped mid-sentence when he noticed your lips twist the slightest bit downward. Even you hadn't noticed it until he was grabbing your face and pulling your lips into his, forcing them upward again.

He smelled sweet, probably because of the fifteen spoonfuls of creamer and sugar he always put in his coffee. Your stomach turned, probably a mix of nerves from your current position and the sickeningly sweet smell of Spencer Reid (or his coffee, anyway).

His hands stayed on either side of your face as he pulled away. You let out a giggle as you saw the remnants of your favorite lipstick coating his lips.

Spencer's wristwatch beeped loudly, breaking you away from your trance. He glanced down at his wrist while his other hand darted up to the nape of his neck. "Merry Christmas?" he said, cringing.

You giggled once more, pulling him in for another kiss. "Merry Christmas, sweet boy."

Rups, my dear!!!! This was such a cute request and I am so glad with how it turned out!

I wrote this probably ten times and nothing ever seemed good enough. I'm sure you as a writer understand that sometimes, you make your standards way too high for your own self 🤣 But, finally, one last time I deleted the document and started anew... and this is what happened! I love it so so much and I hope you do too!!

As always, thank you for being so patient with me. Sometimes requests take me a little while because I want to have the vision as beautiful as the requester has made it out to be so it does take me a lil bit longer sometimes to do that. Thank you for your patience, my dear!!!

↳ Request an imagine here!

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[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Pun Times

[at unicorn fuck club] Piers Anthony: ok guys get ready Piers Anthony: it's time for PUN times with Piers Anthony! Anthony: i think you'll all have a real SNAKE time! Anthony: ANACONDA they're so funny!

Anthony: so bob basilisk, gooey goblin, and steve Stymphalian bird were walking on the beach Anthony: when suddenly someone started shooting sea shells at them Anthony: normally shells just lie on the beach Anthony: but THESE shells were being shot at them

Anthony: these shells were being loaded into guns and shot at them Anthony: propelled by gunpowder! Anthony: in a manner quite unusual when it comes to shells in fact Anthony: most peculiar! Anthony: [turning to audience] can YOU guess the pun? turn the page for the answer

Anthony: in fact they were artillery shells! Anthony: eh? eh? get it? JRR Tolkien: GRR Martin: CS Lewis: Anthony: well, if you don't like it, blame Jimmy B. (12) of akron, ohio

Anthony: anyway princess penelope comes by Anthony: and she's all "oh no" Anthony: "i'm at the beach" Anthony: "guess i better..." Anthony: "TAKE OFF MY PANTIES!!!" JRR Tolkien: GRR Martin: CS Lewis: Anthony: you guys she's taking off her panties

Anthony: so princess penelope hides deep in the bushes and looks this way and that just to make sure that no one can see her take off her panties Anthony: but you know what she can't hide from? Anthony: the author! Anthony: it's too late, i've already seen everything

Anthony: guys for real though Anthony: i totally saw EVERYTHING Anthony: like, ALL her panties Anthony: i saw them JRR Tolkien: Anthony: she was wearing them Tolkien: Anthony: pretty cool, huh? JRR Tolkien: you know i'm just not gonna put any women in my books i think

Anthony: so just imagine if a sexy girl wore panties JRR Tolkien: i can't imagine this GRR Martin: no no he's on to something, i can picture this Brian Jacques: [squeaking] i use a sewn-up maple leaf for underwear!

Anthony: ok now just imagine the panties Anthony: oh boy you guys Anthony: i don't know if i should say it Anthony: it might be too hot GRR Martin: say it! Anthony: ok guys now just imagine Anthony: the panties are   Anthony: pink Anthony: oh ho ho i can't believe i said it!!!

Anthony: so just imagine the perkiest little pink panties you can JRR Tolkien: wait isn't this story for kids? Anthony: oh yeah there's nothing prurient or adult about this Tolkien: ah ok Anthony: these panties are being worn by a virginal 8 year old Tolkien: Anthony: so its fine

[bridgertonbabe]

I love your bridgerton siblings support group chat.

What would be in the group chat the morning after the families Monopoly night ended in a screaming match with several death threats?

BSSG Group Chat

Sophie:

Lucy:

Phillip:

Michael: Well at least we got the game night out of the way for this year 🙃

Penelope: and thanks to last night we can dissuade them from having one for another couple of years

Penelope: I hope 🙏

Kate: Wait what?

Kate: Are you serious?

Kate: Last night wasn't that bad!

Gareth:

Lucy: I...

Sophie: Kate

Sophie: Sweetie

Simon:

Sophie: In what world was last night not that bad????

Kate: Oh you guys are being so dramatic!

Penelope: Kate

Penelope: you do understand that a trip to a+e is the epitome of a bad night

Penelope: right?

Penelope: please tell me you get that

Kate: Yeah but it was only the one casualty this time!

Kate: So it was a way better night than the Cluedo incident of '19

Lucy: i'm sorry

Lucy: THIS ISN'T THE FIRST TIME A GAMES NIGHT HAS ENDED IN A TRIP TO A&E???????????????

Michael: Ah Lucy

Michael: So young

Michael: So innocent

Michael: So pure of heart

Sophie: Wow I had forgotten all about the Cluedo incident. I genuinely think I had repressed it.

Phillip: Lucky you.

Phillip: Btw Simon how much was the vase that El broke? I'll Venmo you.

Simon: Honestly Phil don't stress about it.

Simon: I hated that vase anyway.

Phillip: Are you sure?

Simon: Yeah and besides Daph's never gonna learn otherwise that this is always going to happen when she decides to host game night.

Gareth: also apologies about hy

Gareth: i wasn't aware she would bring her penknife to a fucking games night

Gareth: but more fool me

Penelope: Gareth we can't control our spouses

Michael: No matter how much we'd like to.

Penelope: So don't beat yourself up about it x

Lucy: so none of you are going to expand on what happened with Cluedo?????

Lucy: just how many people had to go to a&e that night?????

Lucy: how long into the night did it all descend into chaos????????

Lucy: why would any of you allow a games night to happen again after that???????????????????????????

Sophie: Lucy, were you under the impression that any of us wanted to be there last night?

Kate: I wanted to be there!

Michael: Community note: Kate suffers from a mental illness which only flares up in competitive circumstances.

Kate: Fuck off Michael!

Lucy: well at the very least you guys could have warned me about it!!!

Gareth: i did warn you about it

Lucy: gareth sending me this

Lucy:

Lucy: is not warning me about it

Gareth:

Gareth: i-

Gareth: please tell me you get the reference?

Gareth: if this is the way i find out you have never seen the film

Lucy: relax i know it's get out

Lucy: i understood

Lucy: i just thought you sent it as a joke because of how family game nights can be in general

Lucy: you never specified the severity of a bridgerton game night

Gareth: see for me sending you the pic was a warning about the severity of a bridgerton game night

Penelope: Also Gareth's warning aside, I did tell you to brace yourself when you arrived last night.

Lucy: again i thought you guys were joking

Michael: Did you miss Phil catatonic in the corner before the monopoly board had even been set up?

Michael: Or the fact Simon was half-cut from pre-gaming?

Sophie: Or the mad glint in each of the Bridgertons' eyes?

Lucy: ok fine

Lucy: perhaps i willfully ignored all the warning signs

Lucy: i was naive

Simon: Look don't stress Lucy, we've all been there.

Phillip: Yeah at some point we were all young and naive about game nights before we met the bridgertons

Michael: Not Kate tho

Kate: Fuck off, I'm not that bad!

Simon: ...

Simon: Kate I know it was you who keyed my car last night.

Gareth:

Lucy:

Phillip:

Michael: Fucking hell Kate

Kate: What

Kate: Simon

Kate: No

Kate: That wasn't me!

Simon: Multiple people saw you.

Kate: Like who?

Sophie: Me

Kate: Sophie you're mistaken

Sophie: I can assure you I'm not

Kate: No, you're mistaken. Besides you were too busy crying last night to see things properly, the tears must have distorted your vision.

Penelope: I also saw you.

Penelope: You were not discreet.

Kate: Pen I have no idea what you're talking about.

Phillip: Not Kate in her gaslight era

Simon sent a video

Gareth: ayyy lmao talk your way out of that one

Kate: You filmed me???

Kate: While somebody was getting loaded into an ambulance???

Sophie: Bitch you were keying a car while somebody was being loaded into the ambulance!!!!!!!!!!

Michael: Wow now you've gone and done it

Michael: Provoking Sophie into using bitch

Kate: Instead of filming me why didn't you just stop me???

Simon: I wasn't the one filming you.

Simon: Amelia was.

Gareth:

Michael: welp

Penelope: 😬

Kate: Ok look I'm really sorry, that was really out of line of me to key your Audi, I took things too far, especially when it was your car and not Daphne's.

Kate: But in my defence

Simon has left the chat.

Sophie has removed Kate from the chat.

Sophie has added Simon to the chat.

Sophie: Don't worry I removed her.

Simon: Thanks Soph x

Sophie: I'll leave her in time out for a couple of days and then add her back.

Michael: She never learns.

Lucy: ...

Lucy: are you telling me kate's been removed from the gc because of game nights before????

Phillip: