#so like i feel as though my version of him could be fitted into canon very neatly and there would be few places that didnt fit

[sonknuxadow]

I believe that IF Silver IS a descendent of Sonic/Shadow/Amy/anyone else, he's a descendent via adoption because the only Sonic character that I accept having kids is Vanilla.

honestly part of the reason im not a fan of the ideas of silver being a descendant of other characters we already know is because i just dont see why its necessary for them to be related ..? idk i just dont think anything that could be gained from him being shadows kid or sonics descendant or whatever is worth losing part of whats already compelling about silver and also making things super confusing. plus none of the pairings of already existing characters people have suggested as silvers bio parents make any sense, usually because its impossible from a timeline perspective but also because theyre always picking characters who would NOT have kids either in general or with the specific people theyre being paired with

[elhokar-kholin]

i think i legitimately have written more words about elhokar than sanderson has

[visionsofmagic]

day 3: fushiguro toji [size difference]

࿓ synopsis • you bet you can have toji raw & dry with only one go.

―❦ nsfw, pet names, a bit of daddy kink, rough!toji, humiliation, bet, brat!reader, roughness, raw, dry, big!toji & small!reader, f!reader, riding, swearing, inner speech [‘is all I believe] • 1.3k • I have never wrote for him but I hope it feels canon. also, I literally have a thing for menace characters. ehe. anyway, enjoy! [kinktober m.]

a deep chuckle comes under you, sending chills down your spine, making you want to hide your face from the owner of the sound ‘cause you can feel how he is teasing you, finding it entertaining how you try to sit on his thick cock even though the intense sensation coming from your tight pussy flows through your body, making you breathless because it’s too much. 

“toji –“ you say between your breaths, looking up to his face only to find him looking right back at you – well, he sees the most pathetic version of you but wasn’t this what you wanted? his expression says; wasn’t this what you begged for? silly girl, he said the moment you tried to say you can handle it – handle to take him dry, without any preparation. thinking she can handle it? cute. 

of course, you wouldn’t stay back, not after hearing all the stories about how it felt like euphoria and hell at the same time to have it dry, raw, in one go. you who believe you want it to be harder, rougher, deeper each time you have sex with toji directly went to him, saying how you want to try riding him but without foreplay. 

he laughed at you – in a such teasing way that your anger rose up, causing you to play the card he could never refuse; bet.

he agreed after a quiet time, but not because of the bet – the challenge, but for the chance to see you eat your own words and witness your struggle on his cock, and he was right, as always.

“what is it princess?” he mocks, teases – a bit of mischievousness inside his sparkling eyes looking up at your face full of tears – his cock isn’t inside you! “is it too much?” he enjoys this more than you do, apparently, because he is just lying on the bed, hands on the back of his head, staying behind him, and a smirk that screams how he has no desire to hide his enjoyment stays on his attractive face.

“fuck y –!”

“tch tch tch,” he shakes his hand to left and right, showing his amusement, “how nasty,” he looks at you with a new expression and you know that one very well – he is one step behind forgetting about the bet and fuck you the way he wants – not with the one you begged for. “but you disrespect me one more time and I will shove my cock right into that fucking tight pussy in one go.”

his treats only make you get wetter. you find yourself wanting him to do that – without leaving it to you, he should be the one who enters into you in one go ‘cause clearly, you can’t do it; it just doesn’t fit!

keeping your mouth shut, you place your left hand on his exposed biceps, the hotness flows from there to your palms as your other hand travels to your slit with the intention of fingering yourself a little bit so that he would fit – you can’t stay any longer. you need him inside you, right now.

however, toji gets what you’re doing. his bigger hand finds yours, caging it with his after pulling it to himself, making you fall into his chest, nose to nose – eyes to eyes. danger radiates from him as he speaks, “you wanted this slut, so, bear it,” his other hand positions on your waist, pushing you down; his cock’s tip enters into you, earning a low moan from you. “lower yourself down princess.”

he uses cute pet names but the eyes don’t lie – his eyes tell you that you should lower down or else the consequences will be really bad, so, you do what he tells you, lowering your body down inch by inch, realizing how it was a bad idea since you two have different proportions in terms of size – how dumb you were to think that toji’s, a man of twice the size of you, will go in that easily.

“fuck - ! agh, toji - daddy! ‘is too much!” you say, looking at the sight of your cunt being ripped off with his cock each passing time as it gets into you deeper and further.

he leaves your hand, touching your face instead and you can feel half of your face disappearing within it, “so the slut finally has a brain that works, huh?” he asks, “didn’t believe when I said it would be too much. a fucking dumbfucked woman who thinks she has the skill of surprising me,”

 he leaves your body entirely, leaving you surprised as he puts his arm on his eyes, closing them and saying, “get off of me. need sleep, not a dumb whore.”

you stay like that, not moving, not taking your eyes off, comprehending what’s happening.

his massive body doesn’t move an inch either, however, from the voices you hear, you can say he’s about to sleep – sleep?!, you ask inside your own head, heat rising up that comes from anger and disbelief. who thinks he is to leave you behind like this and go to sleep in the middle of the sex?!

the madness you have never had takes control of your mind and body in that moment after you realize he doesn’t give a fuck about you or the reason why you tried to do this – making him go crazy while you ride him raw and dry.

no logic side on the brain, not anymore, your hips move on their own, “fuck this shit,” you say and add before going further, “I will show you how this dumb whore will make you sweat.”

a scream comes from your parted lips, the burning sensation takes all the breath you have, the mind turns into dizzy, eyes half-closed yet see the man underneath you taking his arm from his eyes – well, half-closed eyes now, and ears hear the words he says, “fuuck –!”

even though your hips ache in pain, pussy is already on fire, and you throw your head back – such pleasure coming from both his situation and his cock that fills you without leaving any space, you moan his name.

it takes you a few moments to adjust it and move but you have no time; you have to provide that no one can fuck him like this.

hips move up and down, eyes now at his face, daring him to look away – to avoid your eyes; he accepts the challenge, hands are put on your ass, squeezing the flesh, breaths mix with each other and the only voices in the whole room are his swears, growls and even moans within your high pitched moans, the lewd sound of thick pussy hitting the pussy, balls following – everything seems so euphoric.

riding him with the help of him lifting you up and down in sync with your movements, you hear your own name on his lips. it’s hurt like hell to let him shove himself into you at the pace he wants to after you cum two times, the muscles begin to hurt, the mind goes blind from time to time, and keeping your words about how you can make him sweat, he finally takes the control; he hugs your smaller frame, rolling over so that you can be under him, he enters your now wider pussy one again but somehow, it’s still tight.

“pretty slut,” he says, hands staying on the sides of your head, his body covers yours, you feel vulnerable when you compare your small body with his yet it gives excitement when he turns your back to him, his chest touching you from behind, and his fingers open your folds apart, cock entering slowly, “did so good for me, now, let big daddy reward you, fuck that pussy ‘till it fits in one go. after all,” he says, pulling his cock only to push it in you with one go – so full, so filled. wasn’t he holding you from the abdomen, you would jolt into the bed. “it’s what my princess wants, right?”

❦ tagging: @lilvampirina ! thank u pretty!

[vor-leser]

Benny now an animal, I knew AM would let him play.

(Stuff about my own version of pre-monkeyification Benny below the cut because i have too many thoughts on this)

It's kind of hard to make heads or tails of any of the ihnmaims characters since the cannons of the different adaptations contradict each other so much, so I reconciled my own version of events in my head as to what I think Benny was like pre monkeyfication. I tried to fit everything from the comic, game and book in though.

Benny was a very masculine guy, excelling in every sport, and despising everyone who did not live up to his standard of what it meant to be a strong man. All his life, he tried to embody this ideal, not only marrying and having two kids, but going on to join the military. When he became general, he was known amongst the soldiers as an authoritarian punitive leader, often abusing those below him to whip the weak ones into shape. His ideals were solidified under the pressure of the continuing third world war, instilling a kill or be killed mentality into him. Eventually, he came to the realization that he was gay. However, because this reality threatened to break apart the way he viewed the world and his masculinity. With the mounting pressures from a chain of losses and his own internal struggles, he reacted by overcompensating and becoming more brutal than ever, leading him to kill multiple of his own men. Returning from the Chinese American War, he developed a severe case of PTSD. Constantly making him feel as if his life was at stake, he found himself unable to show any weakness. He hid his own war crimes thoroughly, all the while continuing to receive accolades from his superiors for his tenure. He constantly felt the need to not only hide his crimes, but also his sexuality, making him paranoid that people would realize he was a fraud. This did not only put a strain on him, but also on his family.

AM specifically chose Benny, because he embodied the many ways in which humanity tore itself apart through war, constantly finding new methods to make their own existence miserable for an imagined ideal.

At first, Bennys presence among the survivors proved very useful. Out of all of them, he had the most experience in dangerous situations and a lot of physical strength. His wisdom and leadership helped them a great deal, eventually though, they would inevitably disappoint him. Falling into his old patterns of behavior, he would berate Nimdok the most for his obvious weakness, saying he was holding them back. With time, he did the same with Ellen, Ted and even Gorrister, which formed a rift between himself and all of them. He felt as if he could rely on no one but himself.

Still, his usefulness irked AM. He had gotten one over on him too many times, but this would make his coming defeat even more crushing. It started with his mental state. Paranoia had already slowly crept up on Benny, but when he was forced to relive his trauma, it spiraled out of control. Being starved, beaten and defeated, he started to lose his humanity. His egoism, distrust and brutality, all born out a desire for survival made him a nightmare for the others. AM found it amusing, how he had turned Benny into a parody of humanity and its worst aspects, seeing it fit to strip him of his last remaining bits of humaneness, breaking his body into the shape of an ape-thing.

His spirits were now completely broken, being reduced to a bumbling fool. Even though his shame mellowed him out, there were still occasional outbursts. Now ironically enough, he had become the survivors greatest liability. Luckily for him, the others pity him and keep him around, a kindness he likely wouldn't have awarded them.

(Also drawing a guy thats canonically supposed to look handsome while making him resemble a monkey is hard :,) )

[meraki-sunset]

This is a long letter of gratitude. Embrace my endless words of pure gratefulness.

Dear Autor of the most amazing thing I've ever read.

I was writing this letter from the moment I reached the middle of your Crow Strider AU fanfiction. There is so many things I want to say and I'm so happy that I can say it to you all here without words limit. Forgive me for exuberance, I'm squeezing out all my abilities to express what I feel in this foreign language that's not of us first language.

Let me list all the things I'm grateful for, because I'm autistic and I love listing:

1. Crow Strider

The arc of Davesprite you created is masterpiece of writing. The process of deconstructing his personality, forgiving and letting his part behind as well as embracing his new identity and new body is written so thoughtfully with such a care of details. I love how you made him so different from Dave as well as still kept his Daveness in full glory of Striderness. You made him happy and more emotional available and open, at the same time it felt so natural for him to be that way because of the proper build up you gave him. Thank you so much for creating Crow Strider and letting us read his well written arc.

2. There's a Dave for everyone

THERE'S LITERALLY DAVE FOR EVERYONE. You have no idea what struggles I went through trying to understand what person Dave ended up with in canon, and then being sad of what happened in epilogues. I wanted Dave for Karkat. I wanted Dave for Jade. I wanted them to be happy. And you did it. You made it possible. You made them all happy. I love it so much. Thank you so much for making them happy. You even gave Teresi one Dave for her. I can't believe it. It's so beautiful it's unreal.

3. More Davepeta

This part is simple, I simply love Davepeta and you gave me a lot of good Davepeta content. Thank you for that.

4. You made me like characters I didn't like

I wasn't big fan of Tavros. I got tired of Vrisca by the end of Homestuck. I didn't really see Hal as an interesting character. I honestly hated Gamzee. And Jasprosesprite squared was so annoying for me

Well, not anymore! You somehow managed to write these characters more compelling for me than Hussie did. Now I love Tavros and Hal, I mean, cat Hal? Is there anything more cute and cool at the same time?

And NGL I genuinely wanted Gamzee to die and I can't believe that now I'm not, because I just read a very good redemption arc of this clown. I also love the way you dealt with Vrisca. Heck I love all characters written by you!

5. God tier Karkat

I've dreamt of seeing a good piece of god tier Karkat. I was so curious how does it even work to be Knight of Blood, we didn't see any version of Blood god tier in canon. I'm big fan of your version, it fits the character and the aspect so well, and the execution of his arc as he is chosen to open the door... Honestly? I prefer that over canon, though it wouldnt make as much sense as in your fanfiction. It just feels like you took a much better care of Karkat than official ending of Homestuck. Don't get me wrong, I love Homestuck an it's ending, your fanfiction wouldn't exist without it. I honestly think that Hussie didn't really have as much time and space to give his characters as extended arcs as you gave them without losing the dynamic of his story. But you could. And you did. Thank you so much.

6. So many people got better, more extended arcs

Like above. You made Jas much better. You gave Nanna much better, more compelling arc than she had in canon. You made Hal and Tavros much more relatable and gave them very well character development plot, even if short. You took your time to write very needed and wanted dialogues between characters than didn't have their time to interact in canon. Like Jake and Dirk (ESPECIALLY THEM OMG). Like Erisol and Feferi. Like Jas and Rose. And I didn't even know that I needed the last one. Thank you so much.

7. You made ships that I didn't know where even possible and I like them????

Seriously, Tavros and Jane?? Erisol and Arquius??? Josh and Dirk??? I love how your brain works

8. You absolutely nailed the delicate topic of transgender

I used to not be a big fan of June, because there were no realistic signs of John having any kind of thoughts or doubts about his gender in canon. You made a very much needed and really great thoughtfully written arc from June and Josh, even caring about the topic of transition and executing it really great. Thank you so much for yet again being so good at writing arcs.

9. Eridan and Sollux

I love them both and their weird toxic rivalty, and I absolutely love that you gave them some attention and let Eridan grow and try to redeem himself while also helping Sollux with hii2 p2iioniic problem2. I download almost every single frame of it.

10. YOUR ARTSTYLE

You're artstyle. I don't know where to begin with that. It's so amazing. Expressive, dynamic, cute, beautiful, colorful. I love every line of your comics. Your style is the way I always wanted to draw. It's just perfect. And also perfect for Homestuck fanfiction. It's just so similar, yet gives it a bit of softness as well as the kind of expressiveness I love, that makes every single shot more appealing. Warm scene are so warm, sad scene are so sad, dynamic scenes are so epic, it's like so delicious. Yes, I just ran out of words. Let me grab a dictionary...

Your style is outstanding. It gives me this feeling of familiarity, it's similar of Homestuck style, yet so different, its fresh and new while also feels like home.

I wish you have a printed version of your fanfiction (but I probably can't afford it sadly). There is something so soothing in this simple colors, it's not too loud, not too many colors, yet so many and smooth colorful lines. I will learn to draw like you, I'm sorry for adapting your style, but I really want to draw like that and you even posted some tutorials how to draw like you.

Thank you so so much that you put so much time and effort into making this wonderful comic and then share with all of us completely for free. You drew so many expressive pages, sometimes even 10 pages per static dialogue, which means you officially outbested the master of overdoing Andrew Hussie himself, that did maximum of 3 pages per 1 static dialogue scene. I noticed you slowed down a bit at the end and drew much more simplified panels as well as you started using same panels many times. Good. It's okay to go the easier way. No one wants you to overwork yourself and burnout. No one wants you to have trauma with drawing and not wanting to draw comic ever again. It's extremely generous of you that you posted for absolutely free such a wonderful and huge piece of art. I'm endlessly grateful.

11. The plot

I love how you started from one simple idea of giving Crow more arc, and then gradually extended it into a whole huge fixfiction. It went so smoothly it looked like really one different decision of one person can change the whole timeline. It went so naturally, it felt so realistic as if I read something that Andrew Hussie wrote as a coexisting canon.

I have to admit, the whole idea of not doomed and not canon timeline is pretty ridiculous, and I love every bit of it. Paradoxally, it sounds so much like something that could actually exist in Homestuck canon. I love it

A few little things I didn't like that much

I wouldnt be myself if I didn't comment on some stuff that wasn't perfect. I'll be bery brief with that, because these things didn't really bothered me that much, I just want to share a little bit of criticism I have.

I hope it won't sound rude when I say that I didn't really felt like you understand the character of Nepeta very well? She didn't felt that like Nepeta in your fanfiction, at least for me. I felt like some stuff were explained a bit too many times. I know that characters needed that, yet we as viewers already know some stuff and didn't need to read it again. Also, I really missed the type styles of characters. I know how hard it is to keep it through entire fanfiction, especially writing some of the characters with quite complicated type style. I just missed it a bit. On the other hand it made a few characters much more comprehensive.

I hope I didn't hurt you with this few words of critics. Now I want to share a few of my favorite pages, I hope you don't mind if I end this letter with fangirling over your drawings. I actually wanted to do a lot of comments during reading your fanfiction, but the website didn't let comments. Sadly. That's why I'm writing here. And now is time I will do what I wanted to do back then:

This scene, my fav scene in Homestuck, got so extended in your fanfiction, I felt so gifted and it wasn't even my birthday

I cried.

This. Made me laugh so hard. And it's even funnier without context.

I just reached photos limit. Sadly. I'm so grateful for your comic. I love it so much. Thank you again for making it. You're a wonderful person

Hey there! Thank you so much for the letter, and for taking your time translating it to English for me to understand. Since it’s in a list format, I guess I’ll answer as list as well! So:

Crow strider

It was challenging writing Crow because I needed to basically write Dave but with a twist in his personality due to living with the Harley-Egberts and their grandma, in a very cozy and caring environment.

Honestly I don’t think I managed to portray enough Daveness, his personality is very particular and difficult for me to replicate, but I did the best I could and my friend and editor will help me reach the right amount of striderness in the epilogue

2. A Dave for everyone

Indeed, there’s Dave for everyone. The homestuck epilogues made me realize how lonely Jade ended up, and I always loved Davesprite and jade, but with one being human and the other one a Sprite the relationship was bound to fail, and even tho I wasn’t fond of JadexDavepeta, still i would’ve prefered it to jade being all alone and Davepeta dying fighting Lord English. So now, not only Jade has Crow, and they’re happy, but the Karezi – davekat – daverezi mess all got fused into one, because I love them and their trip was a Little different from in canon. And also Davepeta is around, I don’t think they’ll end up with anyone, but they’ll vibe on EarthC.

3. More Davepeta

They’re alive, and I like showing the craziness that comes from them knowing all timelines but being above them and detached from them. 

4. The characters you didn’t use like

I like exploding underused characters. Because with them, you’ve only seen the Surface, but at the same time you have info about them that can be used to make them more profound. If Tavros got revived, why isn’t he mad at Vriska? What was he doing those 3 years in the bubbles? If Jasprose is a seer and has knowledge of all timelines due to being ultimate self, doesn’t that make her the ultimate clairvoyant? Doesn’t that mean she’s the key to winning? Does she miss the mother like rose does? If there’a already an Arquius, why make another? Why not have just Hal as a Sprite and have him figure out what being alive is actually like?. You get the Surface of the characters and knowing what you know about them, you dig deeper, until you find their humanity and write about it.

5. Godtier Karkat

I love Karkat on Homestuck, but I feel like the character lost weight towards the end of the story, he stopped being the leader and while everyone went and fought someone important like the Condesce, the jacks, the dogjack, or Lord English, he was just somewhere else doing whatever. I wanted to give him his hero moment that closes his development.

As for the door, I feel like in canon john was the right choice to open the door, he’s the hero and the leader, not to mention it’s a human session, it makes total sense and I wouldn’t change it

Every story has things that don’t get to be explored, because that would make them too long and cut the flow, making it unreadable. That why we love fan fictions and AUs so much, they take the pieces and reassemble them into something new, filling the empty spaces.

What makes the events on AUs fun is that they didn’t happen in canon. So if John opened the door in canon, and it was right, then Karkat can open this one, and it can be right on this specific timeline. He gets closure from the door he never got to open, and takes back his role as a leader, even if it’s just for a moment, since the battle is over by now. He’s the leader once again, but this time he understands the weight of it in a way he couldn’t grasp when he was 13, claimed he was in charge and let everyone down. He now understands it’s not just something you ask for, it’s something you earn, he’s now the Knight of blood, god of bonds, he took down the Condesce in the name of his species, and will open the door for his peers to enter the new universe they created together where they’ll create a free society, he became what the signless predicted, his rightful successor. His arc is completed.

6. Extended arcs

Jas was planned since the beginning to close crow’s arc about his rose and his regrets about leaving her behind. It’s only when he’s made peace with losing her, has left his old self behind and is ready to face the battle and his future, that he gets his reward. He gets her back, in the strangest way

With Nanna, i just though nobody ever focused that there was an actual adult around during the whole adventure, Nanna would’ve spent a lot of time around john and jade, them being each others remaining family. So I tried to give her the role of a guardian, breaking a Little with this “orphaned children on their own” that all characters have.

Honestly I tried to make it as interesting as I could, sometimes I would take characters that didn’t have any screen time and think, what can they do? What’s in their mind at this moment that they could tackle in conversation? And with whom? Who else needs screen time?. And that’s how you get, Jake and Tavros bonding, Nepeta, Fefeta, Davepeta and Feferi ship-chat, Arquius telling Terezi and Karkat about Erisol, Hal comforting Eridan, ect.

It’s actually a really cool writing exercise I do sometimes. I grab two characters that have nothing in common, and write a conversation between them. What’s the common ground? Are their stories alike in some way? Do they have a common hobby or worry? It’s really cool because you find stuff about the characters you never paid attention to before

7. Unlikely ships

Tavros and Jane came from me wanting Tavros to be more assertive. In canon Vriska instructed him to not interact with the Alpha kids during those 6 months, but since this Tavros doesn’t listen to her because he took self-esteem lessons from Rufioh, I felt like he probably spent that time actually being a guide to Jane and then becoming Friends while solving puzzles, Jane being a fan of mysteries and Tavros probably missing his flarp days. Also theres a funny thing about Tavros and Jane, and it’s Tavros is supposed to represent Peter pan, while Vriska is supposed to represent both Tinkerbell (she dressed up like a fairy for him and later became an actual fairy) being attracted to him but being short fused when rejected, and also represent Captain Hook, Peter pan’s enemy (with her flarp persona and her ancestor being a pirate), but she’s not Wendy in any way, and I feel like Jane is, she’s the homeschooled girl, with blue eyes who looked through her window waiting to be free because her father wouldn’t let her out (also Wendy’s brother was named john who used big glasses). She’s a normal girl coming in contact with this fairy boy from a world of only children. Idk, makes sense to me. (besides, Wendy darling’s daughter, who Peter pan later takes on adventures too was named Jane, who also has blue eyes)

Erisol and Arquius was a crack ship that suddenly made sense, because it’s one-sided, and I feel like arquius is a caring person, he just has a difficult time socializing like a normal person. He’s just really happy to be a sprite and is pissed by Erisol’s insistence on wanting to explode.

Also, Arquius promising Fefeta that he wouldn’t break Erisol’s neck unless he had a good reason ( he kinda wanted to) and eventually having to break his neck for the good reason of god tiering him (he now doesn't want to and feels bad about it) was something I planned for months

Josh and dirk, i think it’s funny. Dirk wouldn’t have dated jade because she’s a girl, but Josh is a boy so it’s good, AND, he’s like a more direct, version of Jake who takes no bullshit.

8. The topic of transgender

Originally the second spaceship post retcon was supposed to arrive empty, or with only Davesprite, but I saw an opportunity to solve a division in the audience. Some people were interested in John remaining as he was, while others wanted to see June. Since John never showed any doubts about his gender in canon, it wasn’t in my original plans for June to make an appearance during CSAU, because the comic only covered the same period of time as canon. But when it came time to write the retcon I realized I had an opportunity to make them both coexist, making a shift in the timeline, but said shift being there both since the beginning and for the purpose of surviving the recon. Making June and Josh a reality since the beginning, so the timeline would survive the consequences of the two Egberts crossing paths post retcon.

It’s nice to hear you liked it, I know not everyone did. I tried to be respectful but at the same time be true to the nonsensical nature of canon Homestuck that makes timelines twist and change to the story’s convenience, making the events real but chaotic. Also since i knew John’s dad wasn’t coming back and Jane’s dad wouldn’t make it, June would be the last remaining conection to John’s old home and so John would be June's, relying on eachother for comfort when it comes to the loss of their father and home.

9. Eridan and Sollux

I want to cover Eridan’s redemption in the epilogue, since all we know is he grew as a person during his time in the bubbles, leading to his change of heart interacting with Sollux and Kanaya

10. Art style

Thank you! I like to give the characters a full range of emotions and for the surroundings to accompany that

No need to be sorry for learning through my art, in the end my style, like everyone else’s, is bits and pieces from other artists we’ve seen, admired and/or learned from. Just make sure to add your personal touch to make your artstyle trully yours

It’s true that by the end I reused more static panels for dialogue, both because there was a lot for the characters to say, not that much action left, and my battery was running low haha

11. The plot

I tried my best for the story to be a big butterfly effect steaming from crow’s decision to ascend, working towards the most possible outcomes like Crow getting grimdarked by the Condesce too, the sprites surviving because of Nanna and so on

I wanted this timeline to coexist with canon because I don’t like the idea of overwriting it, canon happened and was important, CSAU just happened to be taking place close by

12. Things you didn’t like

I do in fact not understand the character of Nepeta very well, I reread Homestuck in order to get the original troll's personality better, but Nepeta is a character I don’t get. On top of that, she doesn’t appear much in CSAU so didn’t have much time to develop her.

I do struggle with over explaining, I think is stems from not wanting the reader to be confused (it has happened on discord that people come and ask me what was going on in the story when i thought I had written it in a way people could understand with no problems), which leads to me explaining everything too bluntly sometimes, so the characters sometimes ramble TOO much, and I wish I could go back and reduce the dialogs, but that would involve going back to the page’s codes to delete certain pages and replace others, and also changing the programming for the page’s backgrounds, not to mention my computer crashes when I try to modify pages too far back, since they’re 4000 of them. It’s one of those things I can only learn from and try to do better in the next project

The character’s typing was a core part of Homestuck because it was mostly portrayed as blocks of texts and the quirks made it easy to know who was talking even with people having the same typing color. The reason I didn’t use them it’s simply because I could barely write good enough in English, let alone add quirks. My friend offered me to add the quirks at some point when we were revising the dialogs, but I declined because some people found it easier to read without them and I didn’t want to add another step to the render of the pages.

13. Favorite pages

I also cried with that Gamzee panel, I planned it for months and i waited a long time to draw those last panels, I’m glad they made people laugh

Haha, also yeah, the Strider reunion got really extended with so many extra striders. Davepeta, Crow and Hal making the reunion complete

Thank you for this message! i'll do my best to write a good epilogue (which by now is actually a secuel) and i hope you have a great day🌻🌻🌻

[science-lings]

okay this has been going through my mind for days and I have to get my thoughts out before I explode

Disclaimer, this is not talking about a specific artist/person and would never condone or participate in anon hate or online bullying for any reason but especially this one. 

I get why people are mad about Link being portrayed as this buff, hypermasculine, tall guy. I am too (again don’t fucking attack people over it though) and it seems like such an infuriating way to change the character just to fit into some ideal of hypermasculine attractiveness or to make a ship fall into a more hetero lense by making him a decent foot taller than whatever girl he’s being paired with. 

The world of video games and action movies and every form of media ever is extremely saturated with male characters that are swole and manly and whatever other descriptors people are trying to push onto Link that don’t fit into his actual character. There are so many characters out there that already fit this male standard and having a clearly androgynous elf guy was like a breath of fresh air. 

Link was literally designed to be a character whose lines on gender were blurred, ‘a girl with a masculine touch or a guy with a feminine touch’ so that anyone could project themselves onto him. His physical design in botw/totk was specifically made to be feminine enough to wear a certain outfit to pass as a woman (which includes a nearly mandatory cutscene where he puts on the clothes and blushes after being called pretty, like you have to be blind to think that its an experience that he doesn’t like at all) and in totk there are a bunch of outfits made for Link that are blatantly gnc, ones that are practically dresses, include nail polish and lipstick, you can even dye his hair bright and vivid colors and that’s half way to giving him new pronouns. The whole reason Linkle isn’t included in more mainline loz games was because her existence would force Link into a gender dichotomy, if there's a clearly female version of the main hero, that means the main hero has to be a man, and they would rather abandon a potential reoccurring character than make Link conform to a gender binary. 

So pardon me when it feels disingenuous and even malicious for him to be morphed into these clear masculine ideals, where he towers over any female romantic partner (even when in canon he is regularly depicted as noticeably shorter than her) or even in m/m fanworks he’s really beefed up, perhaps to make the scene feel more gay or something. 

Perhaps it’s because his more twink-y/ femboy body type is so heavily sexualized (though obviously when people are sculping abs on him it’s totally not because they’re horny about it) and that’s an issue in itself that bothers me. But it’s just so tiring to see one of the very few popular main characters who is short and feminine and androgynous be molded into just another bland muscle-headed action hero over and over and over again. 

I’m not mad at the creators for portraying him differently than how I like him portrayed, I’m mad because we really do get so few characters like him in good popular media, and to be honest, I really like him the way that he is. I love that he’s tiny and has long hair and has the option to dress any way the player likes. It seems a little distasteful to make him taller than a female love interest just because that’s how straight couples have to be, there’s just never been a real straight couple where the guy is shorter than the girl, that’s just Impossible! (/s) 

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

the thing is. why bring Rose back for this finale. she didn't particularly do much other than standing around and looking pretty. I assume there'll be more of her for the second part. I stand by my original assertion from the star beast that it doesn't make sense that she can just 'give up' the alien DNA she was born with. my point back then was that it would be fun if she could regenerate, and ended up becoming the timeless child herself, thus making the Doctor's entire existence a very fun paradox AND also canonizing the 'half human, on my mother's side' line from the 8th doctor's movie (my beloved) (because Donna was only half human whether she knew it or not).

HOWEVER.

all the susan-baiting is really getting to me. I want our weird little granddaughter back. they canonized the fact that the Doctor doesn't actually know who her parents were. and I REMEMBER. that Susan's original gallifreyan name was Rose. well, their language's equivalent of it. that's how Rose Tyler got her name, it was meant to be a cute little easter egg, the first classic companion and the first new who companion sharing a name. so walk with me. the weird girl daughter of Donna Noble, who grew up on earth but never fit in there, who has the Doctor's DNA woven into her being, and access to a yardis, and can in this scenario regenerate...coming across a younger version of the her father/uncle, introducing herself as Rose (which translates to gallifreyan, I really don't feel like looking up the spelling rn I'm sorry it started with an A), the doctor can recognize her- as family, he thinks, not knowing its a spark of him, their shared mind. she knows about how risky spoiling the future would be, she doesn't know if he has siblings and he looks older than she's ever seen him, so she says she's his granddaughter instead of his niece. daughter. him. she's part time lord. she lives longer than her human family. the Doctor is all she has left and she wants to be with him even if it isn't a him that knows her yet. she's heard the phrase 'timey wimey' before, and she's a smart and careful girl. she finds she doesn't fit in on gallifrey any more than she ever fit in on earth. the Doctor knows exactly what that feels like. they travel. when her human friend renames her Susan, she likes it a lot. feels like when she changed her name the first time. freeing, empowering, becoming. feels like the new name fits her new life better. Rose has a long dead family but Susan has her grandfather. the part of her that is her mother and father, though, still craves human connection. the love and fascination with humanity that she inherited from the Doctor is still there. she tells him all about humans and he takes her to visit them more and more to humor her. she ends up fostering his love for earth that will one day define him AND lead to her creation. she accidentally coins the name tardis the same way the doctor will accidentally invent a banana daiquiri a few centuries too early. he just thinks she's creative and silly. a very dear child. odd and bizarre to her classmates at school, but it's nowhere near as bad as it was the first time around. sometimes she even goes to see a younger Wilf. he's somehow exactly how she remembers him as an old man. she's so grateful they're in the 60's though, because if she ever has to look into the eyes of a Donna Noble who didn't know her, she thinks she may actually die. but the Doctor- he IS enough. he is still part of her, part of her mother, even if he doesn't realize it. she can't help but worry over his health, even knowing he lives long past this, because she got so used to helping his older self in his retirement. she knows him better than he knows himself. she'd do anything for him, and she knows he'd do anything for her.

she just never thought leaving her was something he'd do, though.

[meanbossart]

(I scrolled through your ask tag to see if this question had been asked yet and didn't see it, but if it has pls ignore) What was DU Drow's reaction to Astarion's confession in act 2, and what was your reaction to it? Did you get The Hug?

I think I may have replied to this before but I can't find it - so let's go again LOL

My zoomy ass never met Araj in my original playthrough, so I got the other version of the confession where Astarion just discloses his feelings unprompted. This was honestly the most fitting confession I could have gotten for how I was playing DU drow so that's very much my "canon".

DU drow would have pretty much mirrored his wishes at that point, but his lack of personal insight would have kept him from putting it out there so eloquently or sincerely. Astarion's contrasting honesty and surprising grasp of his own feelings is a strong point of contention between them (Astarion shows a willingness and capacity to self-analyze - DU drow a lot of trouble with employing the same practice and becomes frustrated when Astarion pushes him to do so.)

All that to say the confession would have taken him by surprise; if it were up to him, nothing needed to be said on the matter and it would have been an extensive game of implications and will or won't-they (I wonder there that comes from) - but by bringing it up and spelling the situation out so thoroughly Astarion would have prompted DU drow to reflect on what it actually was that he wanted out of the situation - and the answer he arrived at was that he wanted something simple. He saw Astarion's honesty and though, I liked that. I liked how it made me feel. I should do the same.

That would mark a point where he starts to become a little sweeter, it was very much still a work-in-progress but he begins to express his adoration and care more openly - now that he's basically been invited to.

But I actually didn't get the hug LOL I asked him what he wanted instead because I was more interested in that answer - so I just got some dialogue and hand-holding . But the way I see it, that's very fitting for them!

[archie-sunshine]

Mb if youve already answered this before, but what are your thoughts on Ratchma? (Not just the sexy bits but also just the. Mess that is their relationship lol)

ooohhh girl....

Ok so this sat in my askbox for a bit, not because I don't have ideas, but because I have... far too many. I FINALLY got my shit together though. Ok first of all I'd like to say this post is a little bit pharma heavy, i feel like I would write my ratchet prettyyyyy close to canon?? I think i take a few big steps away from canonicity with my pharma

SECOND. here's what I think ratchma's vibe was as simply as possible

I think it began pretty normal all things considered!! I think he was a little bit clingy, a bit possessive, but like... it becomes odd when he's feeling like this about someone he's not even dating.

This SHOULD have been mitigated when they started dating. it was not. because Pharma is decent at hiding his weird side, and Ratchet was too busy to notice really, because he had a job and he cared a lot about it.

TW: UNDER THE CUT CONTAINS MENTIONS OF PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE, CODEPENDENCY, TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS, ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS, INSANITY/MENTAL BREAKS, BAD MENTAL HEALTH, AND TRAUMA THOUGH THESE DESCRIPTIONS ARE NOT INCREDIBLY IN DEPTH PLEASE BE SAFE!

During this time I do think pharma's BIG issue was that heeeee can imagine his way through anything. I think he was more in love with the idea of ratchet than he was with how ratchet actually was. I feel like pharma based a lot of his desire for ratchet less on him as a person, and more on his skill as a medic, and the rank he perceived him to have. It wasn't really out of manipulation or power grabbing so much as it was like... an obsession with an idealized version of Ratchet that doesn't really exist.

I feel like obviously that would kind of lead to some mild gaslighting on pharma's part. where if ratchet did something that didn't fit with his worldview, he would act like it didn't happen, talk about it like ratchet did what he wanted. Again, I think he got away with this because Ratchet was genuinely just too fucking busy to deal with it.

I think as well, his downfall was also his possessiveness, I don't think it's too much of a leap to say pharma would have been at best cold to those he saw as a threat to their relationship, and at worst, outwardly combative. I think he'd take a swing either socially or figuratively at whoever was 'in his way' if he thought he could get away with it though.

I think on ratchet's part, it's really difficult to be in a relationship with someone who puts you on a pedestal like that. To know everything you say has a 50/50 chance of going in one ear and out the other if they don't think it 'makes sense' for you to think that

Again, I don't think ratchet was really helpless, but judging by the way he ended his relationship with pharma by canonically GHOSTING HIM, I like making sense of that for ratchet by saying I think he had a few pretty good reasons not to end things properly, namely that pharma probably wouldn't believe him.

SIDE NOTE- PHARMA'S SANITY

Okay so I've seen some discourse about people who think pharma was always totally crazy, so i'd like to start by saying I don't think pharma was as cutthroat and murderous as he was at the end of the delphi arc, I think he's always been a liiiiittle bit off. I think pharma is a tragic character doomed by the narrative, I do think he had a hand in that narrative.

I've put together a helpful little chart here to illustrate!!

I fully believe that pharma was pushed to the brink by the situation with the djd, I think he would never be the person he is now without that situation. I feel like it's kind of stupid and naive to say that pharma was always gonna end up like that bc he was a little toxic and weird and bad for ratchet, I think having to betray your oath and butcher your patients for an insane t-cog addict is enough to really drive someone insane.

I feel like pharma dives off the deep end with wild abandon when he realizes Ratchet has met him again at his absolute worst, bringing around someone he seems to really adore(drift), now knowing that ratchet will never trust him again and that he sees him as a murderer and monster and there's know way he can delude himself out of that. I think he sort of goes 'MAY AS WELL!!! NOTHING MATTERS!! AHAHAHA'

NOW AS FOR. *AHEM* EVERYTHING ELSE.

I think pharma brings all of that possessiveness and insanity directly to bed with him. I think he would do anything for ratchet, i think he wants him so bad it makes him think terrible thoughts. I think he'd dissect that man if he got the chance, I think he's the type of guy to be like 'i gotta crawl into his ribcage or I'm not close enough to him' you know??

basically I think pharma is a simp and wants to rip Ratchet apart with his teeth. I think he would say 'oh yeah ratchet whatever you want to do is fine!' and he would mean 'i would do anything to feel your warmth against me for even one fucking second, youre mine, you are mine forever i will die without you'

on a more lighthearted note, Pharma is the type of guy to be like 'PAH! I WOULD NEVER STOOP SO LOW AS TO HAVE A MEDICAL KINK!!' while having the worlds most massive medical kink. I think if he got to do Ratchet's physical he would cum so hard he died. I think pharma has a thing for control, but he can spin literally any situation in his head so that he's in control, and so no matter what position he's in with Ratchet, he's pretty happy.

With anyone else though, he tops or power bottoms, no question, no room for switching.

OUGHHH GOD THIS WAS WAY WAY LONGER THAN I EXPECTED IT TO BE!!!!! AND GOT SO FUCKIN HEAVY I GUESS!! ANYWAYS!! THANKS FOR TUNING IN!!

[sporkfingers]

Some Tang Sanzang concept art that I don’t think I’ll finish anytime soon, but whateva

The scar on his head is from a spat with wukong gone wrong, spur of the moment which he regretted after he realized what he had done-

he waited for his sifu to use the fillet tightening sultra to punish him, he’s shaking, apologizing profusely in a small voice. To his surprise he doesn’t feel the painstaking ache of the band squeezing. Instead, when he looks up he finds Tripitaka, his sifu, looking at him with a horrified look on his face. But…. He’s not scared of wukong… he’s scared of himself, if he could cause such a reaction in this godly simian, a demon that the heavens feared, then…what he had been doing…it wasn’t right, it couldn’t be.

-Lololol that’s my head canon/ my own home brew story of Jttw that I’ve been making in my mind, I like to imagine that’s the point where they’re relationship starts to turn for the better and instead of reluctant companions they become friends who wish to protect each other in every way, no matter the cost. They are representative of the mind and the heart, like in most cases they clash and argue, resent and fear each other, but when finding balance and harmony throughout their journey the mind and heart grow closer and work as one. They’re relationship to me is something more than friendship, it’s love but not romantic love, but it’s also not familial love like a father and son, though some translations of the book describe their relationship as such I’d like to think of it as something deeper. Again not romantic kissy love. These babes are Buddhists lololol but it is more than friendship. I might post my version of the story on here and you can interpret as you please, father son, a couple, friends, enemies. But know that in the end what him and sun wukong have is complex, it can not be summed up in one word. At least that’s my take on them,

Also the other scars are from demons, getting captured and such, the scar between his eyebrows he got as a baby, and the read on his wrists are from rope burn, again from being tied up and captured.

I like to see the monk as having a fit build despite acting and appearing weak, though he does not know what to do with this rocking bod he has. (This drawing was inspired by gidget… I loved their reference for their tang and decided I would make my own concept sheet depicting his scars and body type as well.)

I want to start posting my dynamic stuff on here and actually drawing my Jttw ideas… I just get really perfectionist about them and end up only liking the art after a year goes by and it’s too late to post them….

If you made it here tell me what you think, I’ve spent like 5 minutes writing this and my cat is chirping angrily at me cause she wants me to pet her lolololol so pouty, my cute baby is throwing a fit

Sorry if you think these takes are trash it’s just my headcanons, they might change overtime though

[deripmaver]

analyzing kentaro miura’s words on casca’s recovery

Below I’ve attached three separate screenshots of translations of a 2019 interview done by Young Animal ZERO magazine with Kentaro Miura on the topic of Casca’s recovery and revival. These aren’t new of course, but I want to discuss my reaction to them, and also discuss how I think they fit in with the current direction the story has taken with Studio Gaga’s chapters. 

First up, a fan translation originally from skullknight.net, reposted to twitter:

Up next, a google translated version from kojion on twitter, who’s provided a few interviews that haven’t yet reached English speaking fans:

Finally, I’m not 100% sure what this is. It seems to follow from the above screenshots, but it’s not clear if this is just kojion’s interpretation of the interview response, or if this is specifically something Kentaro Miura said. I messaged him on twitter to ask, and I’ll update this post accordingly with his response!

This interview response was, no exaggeration, like a balm on my soul to read the first time I saw it. With how prevalent rape is in Berserk, and with how long it took for Casca to be revived, I admit I couldn’t help falling into this pit of frustration where I wondered if Miura even knew the extent of how awful what he put her through was. Her mental state, of course, did indicate he was aware of that - and then her revival happened, and the corridor of dreams, and I just remember being in actual tears because of how we went into Casca’s mind to show the trauma from her eyes. I can’t think of a more effective way to show something as serious as rape, genuinely. 

And then, of course, this interview response, and again I remember thinking: Wow. This author really gets it. It was the thing that really made me confident in his ability to tell the story of Casca’s recovery. 

First up, the very first part of the response: Casca’s awakening is not the end of her journey, it’s the beginning. This is absolutely, incredibly realistic. I think Miura likes to tease the audience in a sort of mean way lol, there’s the beautiful, dramatic panels where Casca awakens, and she’s put in that gorgeous fairy dress - almost like a wedding dress, you could say - and she’s sent off to have her romantic reunion with Guts... 

And lol. We all remember how that went. Miura is such a troll lmao (affectionate)(kind of).

But of course, just because she’s in control of her mind again doesn’t at ALL mean she’s processed her trauma. Guts has had years to process what happened, but she’s been completely stuck this whole time.

We know from her dreamscape that it was Griffith’s betrayal that really, truly broke her mind (I won’t include the panels here because I don’t want to CRY), and that sort of loss of trust is in no way mended by simply returning to herself. Again, then, two things that made me so astonishingly confident in Miura’s ability to tell Casca’s story from the interview: He's writing Casca as a human, who will react in a natural, human way to her trauma, and that she needs to face up to what Griffith did. This, to me, very clearly indicates that her upcoming arc is going to be focused on facing up to the trauma Griffith caused her, and this is especially hammered in by what’s happening to her currently in canon, being stuck in Falconia with Griffith and with her memories, again, magically suppressed so she can’t begin to process anything. I genuinely can’t imagine any other way for things to go for her.

One more note before I go on to my ~predictions~ based on the current chapters is that I want to highlight this panel here: 

If you follow me on twt you’ve seen me say this before but PTSD flashbacks have the person not just remembering the traumatic event, but feeling as though they’re experiencing the traumatic event all over again. Miura is aware that Casca simply regaining her memories wouldn’t be the end of her recovery but the beginning, knows that the real key to healing is processing the traumatic event, and knows that PTSD flashbacks make you feel as though you’re experiencing the trauma all over again. It’s far more sensitive than I’d expect most authors, let alone a cishet dude mangaka lol. 

SO WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR CASCA?

I need to admit I’m making this post because earlier I got into a conversation on tumblr with someone who claimed that people read too much into Miura’s comments on Casca’s recovery, that they don’t indicate that she’ll successfully heal, that there’s no indication from the comments that he intended to write a full deep dive into Casca’s mental state and trauma, and that for all we know this would just be a side plot a la Farnese’s growth. 

My position is that I genuinely can’t think of anything else that Casca’s upcoming storyline could be about besides her struggling with her trauma (and of course trying to escape Falconia, but in my mind those go hand in hand). I also think that I simply have different ideas about how important Casca is narratively than this person, which is the root of our difference in opinion on Casca’s recovery. 

Right now, Casca has been kidnapped by Griffith and taken to Falconia, where she is being magically drugged to suppress her memories, and her healing. Her storyline necessitates that she get away from Griffith and out from the spell currently suppressing her personality, and getting out from under this spell will mean the return of the memories she was starting to process in Elfheim. 

While it’s terrifying that Casca is away from her support system (and has been kidnapped by her RAPIST jesus christ) I actually think being away from Guts is the necessary key to her processing Griffith’s rape on her own terms. Guts is a massive trigger for her PTSD currently, and there’s the duality of her desire to see him and the likely ensuing guilt and frustration and sadness that comes with being unable to. Without his presence around her, I actually think it’ll be easier for her because there won’t be an expectation of her being with him. 

There are people who we KNOW are in Falconia and will likely be Casca’s support system, we just currently have no idea how they’ll all meet up. I know Luca and the girls will be instrumental to Casca’s story because otherwise there would be no reason to bring them back and also for Casca to mention them explicitly in Elfheim.

The other point made by this person on tumblr is that Miura’s interview doesn’t indicate that Casca will recover. Perhaps, they say, her story will end with Casca unable to cope. I think this in people’s minds leads easily into the Apostle Casca theory, which I’ll be honest and repeat that I fucking hate so much LOL. I get it in some sense, but I really do hate it as a theory. As Miura says, though, he’s writing Casca as a real person, and there are absolutely very low points in trauma recovery, so I expect her to go through a lot of strife. 

It’s difficult in some ways to look at these responses because there’s the language barrier. “she should confront what Griffith or the monsters did” and “she will now have to overcome the trauma” both, to me, seem to positively indicate that overcome is the intended outcome, but of course I’m not sure. Now, if kojion’s second tweet is a translated quote from Miura himself and not just his analysis of it, that’s kind of a smoking gun that recovery is the intended outcome of Casca’s arc, but I’m not sure one way or another. 

This is purely based on my emotional response, but I think a story where a woman is betrayed and raped by one of her closest companions, who loses her mind for years because she’s unable to cope with the trauma of the betrayal, who finally has her memories returned to her and now needs to go on the incredibly difficult and painful journey of processing this betrayal - to have her story end tragically with the result that she’s never able to recover would...

Hm. Let’s say that it would need to be handled with extreme care. It might be the thing that gets Berserk to warrant its grimdark reputation.

As a conclusion, I think this one quote has a ton of potential for analysis inherent to it, particularly for fans of Casca, who are having a bit of a renaissance on twitter right now HAHA and I’m trying to gather them on tumblr too. If you combine it with various tidbits of Miura’s chapters from before his death, as well as the continuation by Studio Gaga, it helps create in my mind a decent picture of the trajectory of Casca’s arc, though the specifics are still up in the air. 

Either way, I want to say to any Casca stans reading this that I really do think that Casca’s story is important, and will be shown as important going forward. I always hesitate to trust cishet authors for obvious reasons lol, but at least I can say that if she’s shown to NOT be important, that will entirely be on him and his sexism, and I think it will inherently make the story weaker. I don’t think that will be the case, though. 

WE’VE WAITED THIS FUCKING LONG-

[topaz-witch-tea]

hiii, it's me again, thanks for spoiling us with your HC & AU as always 💖 💗

Anyway, I was curious, do you have any HC of what if Happy Family!AU meets with semi-cannon verse of RenJingHeng (that's still trying to bond with Yanqing despite their ✨Issues✨)?

I imagine it would be double the chaos since now they have TWO reckless, self-sacrificial, and insecure teen to watch over. That, and I want the HCQ to react to a what-if versions of themselves lolz. This could either go very well, or they just straight up start criticizing e/o method of parenting, and I can't make up my mind of which is better.

Hello!!! You're welcome, I enjoy writing these headcanons. 🥰

I do have HCs for this!!! I constantly compare the semi-cannon with the AU so I can differentiate their personalities and parenting styles.

I'll group them by character to make it easier.

Dan Feng- Dan Heng

They do not get along and Dan Feng started it. Dan Feng is very protective and doting to Yanqing.

He worries for Yanqing's wellbeing constantly and in his eyes, Dan Heng is neglectful and both Yanqing's should come home with him. Dan Heng's aloofness and his difficulties in connecting make Yanqing feel unsure of where he fits in RenJingHeng's new relationship.

To Dan Heng, Dan Feng's displays of affection contrast with his responsibility to the Vidyadhara, which leads Yanqing to make himself small so he doesn't stress out his father.

"How can you be okay with him going off like that? Getting possessed, sneaking off? He's practically skin and bones! Not to mention, you almost killed him. What kind of father are you?"

"You're one to talk to. Your son is so worried about disappointing you that he puts himself in harm's way constantly to prove himself!"

"Your's does the same!"

This ends with both of them crying and being very upset. Dan Feng has always struggled with emotions and can only communicate through words and acts of affection. Dan Heng is unsure how to communicate and care for Yanqing since he was never allowed to be a child and has no idea how to fit himself into the family dynamics.

Yingxing- Ren

They also do not get along and Ren is responsible for it.

Yingxing is very affectionate to Yanqing despite his strictness. Ren is not affectionate at all and approaches the relationship with a bit of teasing but also a constant state of "you are a child but are nothing like Silver Wolf, so I don't know how to communicate with you."

Yingxing sort of pities Ren since he sees Ren's marastruck fate as what could have happened to him if the Blessings of the Arbor went awry.

But this does not stop either of them from disliking each other. Unlike Dan Heng and Dan Feng, they do not engage with each other at all and instead actively ignore each other.

To Yingxing, Ren is confused and doesn't know how to interact with other people. However, his confusion creates more confusion for Yanqing, who believes that he is being pushed out of the family because of Canon! Jing Yuan is spending more time to incorporate Ren into his life.

To Ren though, Yingxing is a hypocrite. While Ren doesn't know how to interact with Yanqing, Yingxing is the same with his child. He doesn't understand why his child is sacrificial and reckless as if they weren't the traits he saw valued by his parents- their sacrificial and reckless actions in service to the Luofu.

AU! Jing Yuan - Canon! Jing Yuan

They get along pretty well since they are both very mellow people and their nature allows them to understand the other. Their time is spent comparing their respective sons. Hobbies? Favorite foods? Even habits as babies?

Some are similar like sword collecting but others are very different like AU! Yanqing prefers Vidyadhara seafood cuisine and spicy food over Canon! Yanqing prefers savory food from the Luofu and sweet treats like pudding and boba.

They also talk about their worries for their son. About how AU! Yanqing keeps throwing himself in danger to save his comrades even though his death would break his family's heart or how Canon! Yanqing keeps searching for stronger and stronger opponents in a relentless need to improve.

Jingliu

They don't talk at all. I don't see either of them seeing any merit in talking with each other. Instead, they communicate with their blades. To them, crossing blades with an opponent tells them what they need to know. The fight takes 30 minutes and by the end of it, both parties take their leave and stay silent for the rest of the day. If you asked the others, they could not tell you a single thing said during the fight. However, to the sword masters, they knew all they needed to know.

Baiheng

Well, she sort of dead in the canon so there isn't anything she can react to. She is, however, very sad that she passed and left Jing Yuan alone. even if her death was for a good cause.

AU! Yanqing- Canon! Yanqing

They talk about swords. That is honestly it. Their parents are fighting each other so they thought it would be best to avoid additional confrontation. They have also repressed a lot of their childhood insecurities so both of them are not exactly aware of the fact their behaviors are not the healthiest.

AU! Yanqing throws himself in the line of fire because he's seen his parents do it. He wants to protect the Luofu because his fathers spent so much time governing it and ensuring its peace and prosperity. But also, deep down, he wants to show that he is worthy of being their son.

Canon! Yanqing masters the sword not for glory, but to ease the general's burden. They do not call each other father and son even though both parties see each other that way. However, since things are never said, Yanqing believes Jing Yuan sees him as merely an apprentice rather than family. So now that Jing Yuan is bringing Dan Heng and Ren into his life, Yanqing is waiting for when he'll be served the eviction notice.

This was a really fun ask and I hope you enjoyed it!!! Please feel free to send more!

[weebsinstash]

Okay this is probably gonna sound really weird but this specific scenario is stuck in the brain—

Thinking of that version of things where you helped YouTwo make friends, imagine if, in some subjective way, they’re better than you. Not in a “better spider person” way, but more like a slightly more appealing face kinda way? Like you barely look different but if you put your faces into one of those evaluator things they’d get a higher score. Maybe they just have good makeup out smth idk. It doesn’t necessarily have to be this but just some random way that YouTwo is thought of as “better”

But eventually, the spider people start actively treating the copy as the original, because they have it in their heads that the original one they love is the best, so the “better” of the two must be the original. Instead of confusing psychological warfare through mix-ups, reader is actively pushed down and away by the spider people, and at this point they simply move away to a normal part of Nueva York (or their home universe, depending on how we’re doing this) since the rest of the society is clearly happy to focus all their love on the other one.

The good bit comes whenever YouTwo slips up, whether by returning to their home universe if reader’s is supposed to be destroyed, making a bad comment, or just any other kind of mistake that makes the entire lobby pause and look like 👀

Because it’s not just the reveal that they’ve been believing this imposter for potentially months now, but also the fact that they now realise they pushed you away and made you feel like shit the entire time

After whatever punishment they see fit for the imposter is carried out, Miguel is rushing to find where you’re staying now so he can try to apologise or explain or try to make it right or something—

But when he’s standing at your door and running through all the events in his head, seeing how pissed you look at him, he’s wondering how he could ever convince you to love him again (he can’t help but default to kidnapping you and controlling you until you understand a fraction of how sorry he is)

Idk that’s just where brain took me— for me, at least, the best bit is the spoiling and smothering that would take place after, wanted or not!

I wrote this at midnight on my phone soo pls forgive if it’s incomprehensible lol

I'm always incomprehensible with weed or lust so you're good here lmao

Honestly I've been trying to sit and brainstorm 1. How does the Society start mistaking YouTwo for you and 2. How does this actually even work

You know how you can say "hey alexa" and she'll activate and then take further commands, but she's technically always listening to be able to receive the "hey Alexa" command? That's fucking Lyla, dude. I don't know if she's connected to every watch or just some of them but like, dude Lyla is an extremely powerful AI? How would you ever escape? It's not exactly clear how wide-ranging her abilities are, but as a program, she's not limited like you and I are. She can technically be listening and in some way processing and recording every single conversation that someone with a watch is having, or... maybe I'm thinking too much into it but sometimes I'm in the middle of brainstorming a you vs youtwo idea and my brain just goes "well wouldn't Lyla technically be there to set the record straight, wouldn't Lyla technically ALWAYS know who you are?"

And I think the answer to this problem... is to just say fuck it lmao! It's a fanfic and Lyla isn't always technically watching everything everywhere all at once even in canon right? She didn't immediately pipe up when Gwen reconnected with Miles in the beginning of ATSV, even though it technically would have been part of her prerogative to stop anything that would interfere with anomalies or the Spider Society. Technically speaking if I stayed completely 100% canon accurate this is how it would go:

YouTwo: --and they've just been pretending to be me this whole time! Please believe me Miguel, you KNOW it's me 🥺 uwu

Lyla within 5 seconds: heeeeey this is awkward but the electronic signature on your watch says you're the other one though lol? And the go home machine scans your dna and dimensional signature and the original doesnt even have a home dimension anymore? Plus here's some recorded audio from Reader's watch where you were threatening them and telling them no one will believe them if you replaced them, sooo.... awkward!

Like how fucking funny would it be if YouTwo is in HQ and is talking to Miguel and others and really playing their part and Spider Byte suddenly sees you log on this dimension's equivalent of Xbox lmao. Margo just looking back and forth and realizing holy shit. Or Reader deliberately ordering delivery food while YouTwo is out stealing their life or teaching their class and then when the delivery Spider shows up at your apartment that definitely only you have access to, that also helps kinda set things straight

I've even thought of like, you become depressed and start letting YouTwo do whatever they want and one day someone is banging on your front door and it's them "Hey you can't just COMPLETELY disappear, I don't want to work your fucking job everyday anymore, you have all these responsibilities and some of these people ALWAYS want to spend time with you" and you just smirk "oh no, guess that's your problem, 'real me'"

It's like. I'm trying to make it believable but if I ever do write the full fic (which I'm trying to but at this point I'm pulled between many different ideas) I want it to be believable? Like, for example, a lot of my dumb werewolf audiobooks have the protag being bullied and abused, and listening to those makes me MAD. I want readers to read this story and how you/Reader is being replaced and tricked and I want people to FEEL emotions about it, not just roll their eyes "this would never happen/this is so OOC"

But no definitely the yandere rose colored glasses start completely fucking you over, and I think another catalyst is, you seeing how "genuine" all your society friends act when they think it's not the real you you're talking to. Like here's an example i thought of. What if youtwo had the exact same hero name and real name as you and you're out and about one day and Miguel approaches you and he just CALLS YOU A NUMBER. Like say your home universe is 1217 and YouTwo's is 1712 and Miguel just walks up to you, "what are you doing here, 1712? You're supposed to be helping with construction in sector 6" and meanwhile you're just like holy shit do some people legitimately not even call YouTwo by an actual name, are these people more evil than I originally thought, holy shit no wonder YT wanted to steal my life" (and it's partially because depending on the person they either think of YouTwo as a Dollar Tree version of you and are nice to them as well but prefer you, OR they hate YouTwo outright for "daring to defile your image" and have the same voice and face as you, they think youtwo brings shane to you or whatever)

So not only are you starting to become upset about feeling replaced and feeling like you were never important to them to begin with, but then you're realizing that, either overall or with certain actions, that a lot of people are more outright mean and heartless than you originally thought?

And you're standing there "oh YouTwo has smaller pores and clearer skin than me, YouTwo actually knows how to dance at the clubs and parties,

BUT NO the shit where they suddenly start pointing out or criticizing things about you they've never commented on, just all of a sudden they have a LIST of things they dint like about you, when you're rhe same you've always been, SHIT HURTS, THAT'S THE DRAMA AND PAIN I'M LOOKING FOR

Miguel over here finally confronting YouTwo "and your little groveling for everyone's attention is so pathetic! Those empanadas you left on my desk weren't even good! They had all the wrong ingredients and they weren't crispy enough, i had to keep throwing them away--

You: a-actually, um, I was the one leaving you food so that you would eat. The first time came out really bad but i got better after the first time. You didn't like them, or did you not even eat them after the first time? 🥺

Miguel: --and they were fantastic, made me think of my Abuela, really took me back to my childhood, spectacular, outstanding, 5 stars

People start just "sounding off at YouTwo"

Pavitr: you wanted to try and make chai and it was so bitter my auntie poured it down the drain!

Porker: and when I introduced ya to him, you made Roger real uncomfortable with the "jokes" you made about him and his wife, which weren't that funny by the way!

Hobie: your style is conformist, it's like you have no real sense of self identity. Why did I see you at one of my concerts in a shitty leathet jacket and some brand new converse? You don't even know punk lace code, and you didn't even say hi, you just lurked like a creep

You: God DAMN that was ALL me, do you guys like ANYTHING about me????

And like, depending on what I choose or your personal preference I guess, the Spider Society has it rough too! Wait, so YouTwo WAS impersonating you, but it started when you LET THEM, and then there were times you could have came forward but didn't and basically "allowed" yourself to be treated like shit and have everything progress, so there's this, huge lingering doubt in tons of people of "wait so when was I actually spending time with Reader and when was I with the fake? Oh shit you're telling me those times the fake was rude as fuck to me, that WAS Reader, but they were rude because they were mad I didn't know who they were? But they didn't correct me and let me keep being mean to them????". Miguel is over here tearing his fucking hair out because UGH YOU'RE SO FRUSTRATING 😤 why did you let it get so bad, don't you know you could've came to him for help at any time?! (Except he totally lost your trust when YouTwo framed you for that elevator collapse from that one previous idea and he totally 100% thought you did it) but he still loves you and knows You're Going Through It, but, he definitely is. Relieved you're still ok but mad at you? Or disappointed? He's updating Lyla to keep a better eye on you, he's swapping out your watch for one that tracks and stores more information and is more personally customized, he may even decide, maybe he's got a little bit of an anxiety problem after everything that happened and he's paranoid "someone will try and take you away again"

It definitely is not your choice whether you return to the Spider Society or not, and I wouldn't put it past them to have you be "guarded" 24/7 from then on. Why is your Spidey Sense tingling when you're just out in the lobby getting some air? Because even if you can't see your loyal protectors, they sure can see you, from every visible surface, and next time you think you're alone in your apartment, well, some of your buddies CAN turn invisible. Maybe you were never really alone as you thought?

[prince-kallisto]

Crowley’s Special Lesson Themes Analysis

HELPPPPPPPP OMGGGGGGG WTF

Okay okay okay, first of all, I’m really flattered when some of y’all say I’m perceptive and such due to my theories, but tell me why I literally JUST realized that the lesson theme changes when Crowley drops in for a Special Lesson?!?!? 😭😭😭😭 L Kallisto moment. -100 perception.

Im not kidding I was literally so focused on Crowley’s chibi form that I never noticed that the music changed when Special Lessons were activated 💀 Self-roasting aside, I immediately went to search up the OSTs for Special Lessons. A huge thank you to this user on YouTube. I compiled the three videos just for my personal reference, but I highly recommend to listen to these songs they’re such a bop!!! 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️

I find it really fascinating that the “Dire Crowley” theme (the song that plays when you first open the game) is very foreboding, but the Special Lesson songs are rather flamboyant. Maybe I’m just hearing it wrong, but I like how a ringing bell-like sound can be heard in the Special Lessons songs. It seems like the passage of time through bells is a shared motif in Crowley’s songs? It could also be a reference to school bells.

I have a theory that these Special Lesson theme songs represent Crowley’s relationship and dynamic with each of the staff members. I separated each song into their different section to talk about, including their bpm/tempo, just because I think the details put into these songs as amazing! Note, I don’t know much about music and instruments haha, so please correct or feel free to elaborate on any information ∑(ﾟДﾟ)

Alchemy Special Lesson BGM (Crewel)

-100 bpm, Allegretto, and in D minor. Allegretto is lively, but it must be executed with a sense of restraint, elegance, and precision. It is not like Allegro, which tends to be happy and upbeat. Allegretto is quite literally “less than Allegro,” so it’s restrained. D minor is a key that is often related to feelings of desperation or distress, which is fitting for Crewel’s students. Although don’t take anything I say about the keys too literally (*ﾟ∀ﾟ*) “Major=Happy, Minor=Sad” is a gross oversimplification of keys, and a song can represent any emotion regardless the key it’s in. However, I think it’s worth mentioning because keys are still chosen purposefully to guide the listener to an interpretation of the music! ♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪

-This is honestly one of my favorite songs from the game. I am LIVING for the doublebass in the background. It’s so jaunty and lively despite its deceptively simple sound. It keeps the tempo very well, I love it

-I relistened to the “Cruella De Vil” song that Roger sings in 101 Dalmatians, and it’s what gave me the idea that Crowley combines his theme with the individual teachers. This song has a elegant yet foreboding vibe to it, much like Roger says about Cruella: “she’s like a spider waiting for the kill.” If you listen to instrumental versions of this song, I feel like the vibe is there

-The Alchemy song feels a bit tense, especially near the end, where is feels like the instruments are fighting for attention and overlapping each other. Although Crowley and Crewel are both (SEEMINGLY) classy and get along surprisingly well in canon, both of their “teacher modes” are very intense. E.g Crewel with the whole pup thing, and Crowley just being unreasonable over all haha. Perhaps it is why Crewel and Crowley very rarely are on screen together? For both Crewel and Crowley to be present in a Special Lesson must be very stressful for the students, with Crewel being strict and demanding and Crowley just being nosy haha.

-Their relationship fascinates me, as they both seem to respect each other a lot. For Crowley, it makes sense, as he generally speaks favorably of the other staff members. But Crewel is rather critical of both Vargas and Trein, so why is he so tolerant of Crowley’s rather unreasonable behavior? Crewel seems to respect him and consider him to be kind, even though it’s obvious Crowley is not. And like I said, they don’t interact a lot in canon, and they mostly do when the other staff members are there too, so there’s very little time of them talking to each other specifically. But then it made me think how crows/ravens and wolves have a mutually beneficial relationship in the wild, with crows leading wolves to possible prey, and the crows feeding on the carcass once the wolves make the kill and eat their portion of the prey. Research has even discovered that ravens have close bonds with specific wolves in a pack, and often play tug-a-war with wolf puppies with sticks. Thus, ravens are often referred to as “wolf birds.” Due to this, some crows and ravens get along with bigger dogs too, as crows/ravens tend to like canines. So perhaps Crowley and Crewel’s positive relationship is a reference to this, and how they may just instinctually like each other? 🤔 Because I cannot think of a reference from the 101 Dalmatians, Snow White, or Sleeping Beauty to be made here with these two characters.

-So going back to how the instruments seem to be fighting each other in the end, perhaps it represents how differing Crowley and Crewel’s personalities and teaching methods are. Crowley is strict when necessary, but he’s far more tolerant with student antics and often acts even more immature than the students sometimes and allows fights/conflicts for the students “personal growth,” whereas Crewel has this intensity and energy with the students at all times, never wanting them to be out of line in any matter at all. Like the clash of their hands-off and hands-on methods, but at the end of the day, they’re both rather strict and it’s unfortunate when the students have to deal with them at the same time haha! In their Alchemy Special Lesson voice lines, both Jack and Rook express how intense the room gets, and Room saying HE feels like the prey now. Several other students say how they feel a chill in the air during Alchemy special lessons, with even Floyd saying he gets the “heebie-jeebies.”

History Special Lesson BGM (Trein)

-100 bpm, Allegretto, and in F major. Allegretto is a common tempo in classical music, alongside Allegro and Adante, so it’s fitting that Alchemy and History follow suit. Ernst Pauer describes F major to express peace and joy, but to have an underlying passing regret and melancholy. I could think of few possible “passing regrets,” with Trein in particular with the passing of his wife, whom he remembers fondly and has many habits in her memory. And of course, History in general causes many regrets.

-After listening to this one, I immediately went to go listen to the BGMs from Briar Valley in Book 7 lmaooo…I find it interesting how prominent wind instruments are shared between these songs, but I need to analyze further before I can say something more definitive 🏃‍♂️ It is interesting how the History Special Leason theme has this whimsical and fantastical feel to it- it’s very fitting.

-On this note, the middle-ish section of the song reminds me a bit of a marching band! Which is. Interesting considering it’s military origins 👀but maybe I have to admit that this is a stretch haha…something to think about though when I analyze Book 7’s music in the future.

-I’m really in love with the “call and response” theme they have with the woodwind instruments (clarinet and piccolo?? I’m apologize if that’s inaccurate, I don’t know much about woodwind instruments 😭 I listened to samples and just made my best guess,,,) clarinet plays a melody and a piccolo responds and repeats the same sound. Not to be dramatic af, but it lowkey sounds like a pair of songbirds who are courting each other, which makes me sad because I’m not normal over my silly Crowley theories🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️ When courting, a songbird “sings”so the other bird they are courting can respond. If the courting is successful, the pair duets the same tune, which is exactly what the piccolo and flute are doing. Crowley x Trein is real… (I’m kidding HELP). It goes to show that even though Trein scolds Crowley a lot, they clearly have some faith in each other, especially in Book 6 when Crowley assigns Trein as temporary Headmage. This “call and response” is a representation of this faith, with one calling, and the other responding when it’s necessary.

-Or if you’re ridiculous like me, it’s sad in context because Crowley is an isolated character, despite all the pairs of raven statues around the school haha!

-Interestingly enough, this is the one song out of the Alchemy and Flight themes that does not have a the “ringing bell” I was talking about. Interesting this is missing in the History class, as if time is not relevant/time has stopped. Or perhaps how sense it’s history, we are not at the “present” time.

-Overall, this song feels far more harmonious than the Alchemy song. I think it goes to show how genuinely dedicated Trein is about the study of History, given he’s done fieldwork in the past. Trein is able to keep Crowley relatively in line just like the students, so the song flows smoothly.

Flight Special Lesson BGM (Vargas)

-140 bpm, Vivace, and in A minor. Vivace means brisk, lively, which signals to the musicians to play with spirit and energy. This tempo is AMAZING, because Crewel and Trein’s were both at 100 bpm, right? But this song is at 140 bpm. It gives a dynamic sense of movement and vigor to the song. At this beat, it’s known that it may make some listeners feel restless, due to the beat being faster than a resting heartbeat range. It was an incredible choice for the Flight lessons with Vargas, as it is a gym/workout class! 140 bpm falls comfortably in aerobic exercises heart rate range, especially since where referring to teenage boys. Haha this may be obvious in music theory/composition, but I thought it was cool! (*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)

-I was surprised by this one, for how prominent the electric guitar is instead of the orchestra at the start of the song! Crewel and Trein go along with the orchestral theme rather well, making it a strong highlight of their respective songs. Compared to the other themes, the guitar feels overbearing. It’s very fitting for Vargas’ personality, for as we see in the special voice lines, Vargas is a bit much even for Crowley

-However, strangely enough it works, as the ending portion combines everything quite well. Vargas is one the staff members who I think has the most positive opinion about Crowley. Although Vargas is overbearing, he and Crowley get along really well. In events like Beanfest, they share an equally concerning enthusiasm of the sport of it all. They seem to have a lot together sharing their predictions and ideas for Beanfest, and Spelldrive is also a shared interest of theirs. Funnily enough, I think Vargas of all people is able to take Crowley’s antics more in stride than the other staff members, and vice versa.

-This song ends in a particularly exuberant manner. It goes to show how excitable both Crowley and Vargas be, and how they have high hopes for their students. Yes, they’re a bit much, but there’s a genuine liveliness they both share. Crowley even plays along with Vargas’ strange ideas, like how in an Unified Exam voice line, Crowley thinks that Vargas’ idea of making the student uniforms with heavier fabric to “build muscles” is a genius idea and he wants to look into it more.

-So perhaps this song deviates a little bit more from the classical themes to represent the antics these two have compared with the other teachers?

Did I overthink these theme songs WAY too much? YES LMAO 😭😭😭 But I am so genuinely surprised at how the different Special Lesson themes were made for each class. You would think that the song would be the same, since Special Lessons are rare and last for a short amount of time. It is why I have these little notes about each song, because if the time was spent to craft unique songs, I feel like there is a purpose and thought put behind it? Hmm, I’d like to study more about music to articulate my thoughts better, because I am very interested in Twisted Wonderland’s songs, and I know very little about music!

Edit: the brilliant and lovely @snakevsnis (💞) also sent me a brilliant interpretation that Crowley may also just be the type to “mimic” the personalities of the people around him, especially based on their habits to blend in. I love this idea! It makes me think how Crowley’s immaturity becomes far more rampant when he’s around the students. He’s even a character with a generous voice range, e.g his deep, serious voice in the opening prologue, versus any other time when he’s silly. It’s to the point where his “true” personality is currently ambiguous, as it tends to shift quite a bit. So yeah, I think these BGMs could be representation of this!!

Anyway if the Alchemy special lesson theme song doesn’t get played at my wedding, what’s even the point anymore. L spouse, L wedding, I’m ditching it immediately and running away into the night, taking all the gifts and money with me so I can finally buy a Crowley plushie (things perfectly sane people say)

[tenpintsofsundrop]

Decided To Break It

Abby Anderson x Fem!Reader

All the broken hearts that hang around here. All the sick things that make you pull out your hair. All the bad dreams, all the nightmares.

A thousand promises that never seemed to help me before...

With nothing left to think I'll probably sit around and ignore. The apathy that always leads me... And always finds a way to break me down. And that's when I Decided To Break It.

Summary:

Abby confronts your abuser, and you both come out better on the other side because of it.

Abby Anderson x Fem!Reader. Childhood Friends to Lovers. Hurt and Comfort. Can be read with or without considering the canon events.

Word Count: 5,000

The Last of Us Masterlist | AO3 Link | Ellie Version

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List of detailed warnings and author's notes below the cut.

Warnings: reader uses she/her pronouns, themes of abuse and abusive relationships, domestic abuse, childhood friends to lovers, hurt and comfort, mentions of canon deaths and incidents of canon violence, Abby has a self deprecating inner monologue, Abby experiencing some transphobic comments (even though she is not trans in this - angry cis men are just like that), the reader’s abusive partner is a man, the reader is described as having injuries from a physically abusive incident, the reader experiencing physical and emotional abuse from a romantic partner, the reader is saved from her abusive partner by Abby (and Manny), the reader is mentioned to be wearing Abby’s clothes - but Abby is a big muscled girl so I think plus sized girls could fit her clothes (especially if they were clothes that were big on Abby), Abby calls the reader ‘baby’, some romantic involvement between Abby and the reader (but the bulk of the focus is on Abby rescuing the reader form the abuse), technically cheating - because the reader kisses Abby while she is still involved with her abusive boyfriend, Abby murdering someone with her bare fists (technically with her fists and then smothering him with a pillow), somewhat graphic descriptions of Abby beating up the abuser, happy/hopeful ending. 

A/N: Title comes from a Marianas Trench song of the same name. I have always thought of it as a very Abby song (and it's on my Abby playlist) - I think it definitely represents her following the Fireflies and then the Wolves with them feeding her blind promises that don't work out for her, and when she 'decides to break it' is when she decides to break free from the mould in order to help Lev and Yara. And in this case, the broken promises and lies are two fold - her pushing down her feelings for y/n and her seeing y/n be 'happy' with the abusive boyfriend, and when she finally snaps is when she 'decides to break it'. I like how it fits. It could also be fitting of how someone in an abusive relationship is fed lies and empty promises and it's difficult to break away from that.

...

Abby had always liked you - she always loved you, even if she claimed over and over again, wasted her breath telling people that it was strictly the type of love reserved for a friend. 

But she refused to admit the true nature of those feelings to herself. She refused to call it love, or romance, or affection. Maybe because she didn’t even realize that’s what it was in her own mind. But she definitely had a childhood crush on you that blossomed into something else along the way. 

You were someone that Abby’s dad was always fond of when you lived with the Fireflies at Saint Mary’s hospital. And though you weren’t studying to become a medic, Jerry always pushed Abby to hang around you more because you were sweet, good natured, and bookish, and he always thought you were a very good influence on her. 

It was something that led the two of you to become fast friends. When the two of you were still so young and the world was still so small, you were each other’s biggest priority in it. 

Abby often mourned for those days like winter days mourn for summer. But she could never imagine how the two of you might get back that kind of closeness. 

Living at the WLF, you unintentionally drifted away from Abby. 

The Salt Lake Crew was always close, especially after making the treacherous journey from Salt Lake to Seattle with nothing more than a tiny glimmer of hope for their safety after the bloody massacre at Saint Mary’s. 

Abby protected you the whole way, made sure you never had to carry a gun, would have thrown down her life to save yours at any moment during the journey - especially when she was stuck in such deep depression after her father’s death. In a lot of ways, you kept her alive during those days. You kept her spirit alive, made sure she held onto the good memories of her father instead of throwing herself headfirst into the darkness. 

But when everyone integrated into the WLF, things changed. It was a very rapid shift from the group spending 24/7 together, watching each other’s backs, to everyone having different jobs based on their skills and having colliding schedules that caused them to part and spend less and less time around each other. 

Manny and Abby were the ones who ended up staying the closest - ironically, even closer than the romantic couples of Mel and Owen, and Leah and Jordan. Mostly likely because they roomed together, and they often patrolled together. 

Abby was always regretful of the fact that she didn’t get to see you more often. 

Whenever Abby saw you around, in the cafeteria or during the rare occasions when the old crew could work their schedules to get together (usually using someone’s birthday or another celebration as an excuse) she mourned the fact that the two of you were drifting apart. It seemed like the two of you were becoming more like strangers as the days went on. 

You had taken a job as a dog trainer, wrangling the many pups that the WLF raised and kept on hand, so Abby saw you most often in passing if she was checking out one of the dogs for patrol. 

She often found herself with a pang of yearning in her chest if she saw you cooing sweetly at the pups, petting them, knowing that they could tear out the throats of enemies with their teeth but cuddling with them and calling them ‘baby’ in the same breath. 

(Deep down, she was reminded of herself - how she felt rough and horrible and she often felt unlovable, but she thought someone as soft and sweet as you could still love her. She hoped that you would.)

Very often during their conversations, Manny insisted that Abby had a crush on you. He said that she always had and that he had seen it for years, and Abby was being dumb not to pursue her feelings for you. These conversations usually ended with Abby rolling her eyes and pointing the finger back to his love life, asking why he didn’t just settle down with one of the many nice girls who frequented his bed. 

The topic came up so often between them, but it was something that Abby tried not to think about. The two of you dating. The two of you being anything more than friends. It felt so fictional. Often when Manny spoke about it, it felt like a joke in her ears. 

It was something that was latent in her mind until she saw you with him.

He was some random scumbag - some new trainee who had come in from a settlement outside the city that Isaac had broken up. He had allowed some of their people in (“strength in numbers” he always said). But seeing you with him, Abby gave less of a shit about where the guy came from, and started thinking about where he was heading to and how quickly she could get him away from you. 

Seeing the way you looked at him, with stars in your eyes, entirely lovestruck, while he tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear - it just made Abby nauseous.

Abby had been working with some of the new recruits. Fucking morons. Isaac had asked her to whip them into shape, her experience and skill vs their idiocy. 

It was the only reason she knew the guy. It was the only reason she could pick out his stupid face among the seemingly endless sea of people at the WLF. 

She remembered this idiot specifically. He had made sure of that. He was too cocky, but didn’t know his way around a gun. When he had gotten his hands on one of the semi-automatics, he got trigger happy and put several bullet holes in one of the concrete walls. He would have blown away half the squad if his dumbass had been two inches in the other direction. 

When Abby had snatched the weapon out of his hand and began reprimanding him about gun safety, he had gotten in her face and called her a ‘meathead’ and made some rude comments about her possibly having a dick. Clearly, he was intimidated by her size. She let him be. 

(And yeah, she did have a dick. In a box under her bed. One that the girls she and Manny shared around often joked was better than the real thing.)

It was immediately clear to Abby that you didn’t have a clue what the guy was really like. You wouldn’t have any interest in him if you knew what he was like in the field, if you knew how he had spoken to some of your friends. 

You kissed him sweetly on the mouth before you parted ways. Clearly completely unaware that Abby was watching with rage boiling inside of her veins. It was only when Abby looked at the crushed water bottle in her hand that she realized why her shoes were wet - unconsciously, she had been imagining that it was his head.

Manny chalked up her hatred of your new boyfriend to jealousy. And maybe it was. She had no other reasons to hate the guy. No good ones, anyway. Incompetency aside, he learned fast and got over his major flaws, and he quickly learned to only trash talk Abby behind her back so that she couldn’t take any real complaints about him to Isaac. 

When you brought him to Jordan’s birthday party and introduced him to the rest of the group as your boyfriend, they all seemed happy for you.

They didn’t suspect anything when he glared at you with absolute fire in his eyes as you joked around with Owen - someone you thought of as a brother. The cause of a very funny story (that the group still brought up often) when you ate literal dirt rather than kissing him during a game of truth or dare when you were all teenagers. 

Unfortunately, Abby didn’t have any evidence to back up her horrible gut feeling when you and your ‘new boo’ disappeared from the party so suddenly. When she had asked Nora, apparently you left because you were complaining about being tired.

Over the next few weeks, Abby watched you fade away from a distance. 

Your glowing smile became a dull, fake one. Whenever she saw you, you avoided her gaze. And the rare times when you would look her in the eye, she could see you crying out for help from within.

She thought she was being paranoid. She thought it was her pure spite of the man you were dating - some jealousy, a childhood crush bubbling over, the fact that she hadn’t gotten to you first. The fact that she hadn’t been brave enough to confess her feelings to you that she hadn’t even admitted to herself. 

She wanted to believe that you were fine, that you were thriving and happy in your new relationship, before she let herself think that you were actually being hurt by someone who claimed to love you.

Until one night when she was alerted by a knock on her door. 

She and Manny had just come back from a thirty hour patrol shift, and he was already dead asleep. Abby had just gotten out of the shower, combing through her long, wet tendrils as a characteristic Seattle storm thundered outside.

She rushed to put on a tee shirt along with her form fitting boxer briefs to look decent. Even though the only light in the small apartment was currently the flashes of lightning from outside as she walked across to the door. She thought perhaps she had imagined it, the sound of knuckles, the sound of someone trying to grab her attention. It would have been easy to mistake. The thunder rumbling and the rain pounding on the windows was certainly distracting. 

Nonetheless, she opened the door to check if her mind was really that far gone after such a long shift. 

She gave a small smile when she saw you standing there. Usually you didn’t take time out of your busy schedule to come and see her. 

But when the next flash of lighting came, and fully illuminated you where you stood in the hallway, it made Abby’s gut curl with a unique sickness. The look of pure fear in your eyes, the swelling of purple around one of them, the distinct marking around your neck that looked like fucking handprints, marks of thumbs attempting to press into your windpipe.

Abby felt the rage of god and intense pity, mourning and regret, her love for you swell up inside of her all at once.

“Y/N.” 

She said your name in a voice so gently, a timid kindness that you hadn’t been treated with in weeks - it instantly broke you.

You broke down in sobs, muttering out ‘I’m sorry to bother you’ - but Abby didn’t let you get out a moment of apologetic self pity before she swept you up into her arms, pressing the uninjured side of your face against her chest as she ushered you into the apartment and closed the door behind you.

You clutched onto her like a lifeline when stranded at sea, balling your knuckles into the fabric of her shirt as she put her strong arms around your quivering body, cradling you. She had a heavy suspicion as to what had happened to you, but she was going to wait for you to point at the suspect before she went spinning out of control.

The commotion - the echo of your cries - easily woke up Manny, and you began to profusely apologize before he trampled over this with his worry for you. He instantly reminded you of the big brother figure who used to slide you his pudding cups before he went to arms training while living at Saint Mary’s. 

He made you a cup of tea while Abby sat you down on the edge of her bed, cradling you against her chest and waiting for you to calm down. 

When Manny saw the marks on you, he exchanged a look with Abby. He knew that whoever had harmed you would soon be experiencing infinitely more wrath than they ever thought to bring upon you.

Eventually, your sobs calmed enough for you to explain the situation to them. 

Just as Abby suspected, you ended up telling her a long tale about how this once dreamy boyfriend had turned into a monster; he had shed his skin and shown another face, and he had been abusing you for a few weeks now, hurting you in the worst ways, right under everyone’s noses. 

Abby felt a stinging type of guilt splash up into her throat, and she had a feeling that she was never going to forgive herself for letting you be around that man. 

It had started at Jordan’s birthday party. That night, he had accused you of sleeping with Owen behind his back, and you had nearly scorched your throat trying to explain to him that Owen was your long-time friend, more like a brother to you. But that had only ended with you having a busted lip for ‘lying’ to him. 

And things had only gone downhill from there. 

The most recent incident being him coming home from a patrol to find that the dishes in your now shared apartment weren’t done, and he had called you a sloppy, lazy pig. The ensuing fight had ended with him nearly strangling you to death until you broke one of those dirty plates over his head.

Abby pulsed with anger, and when she went for the door, Manny stopped her. 

He nodded toward where you were still sitting on her bed, your body still visibly shaking as you stared at the floor with a completely blank look. Thunder rolled outside and the loud sound caused your entire body to jolt, and more tears rolled down your cheeks. 

Abby’s insides ached for you. She felt guilty for not following her gut feelings sooner, for not trying to help you sooner. 

“Abs, she needs you right now.” Manny told her. “I want that pendejo dead as much as you do.” He grunted these words with intense furocity, anger, passion. He needed to protect you as badly as she did. 

Abby almost tempted him. She wanted to encourage the bad side that she knew he had. She wanted that fucking prick’s throat under her hands, struggling for breath right now. 

“But tonight…” Manny continued, putting a hand on Abby’s shoulder, pulling her from the murderous revere that he knew she was disappearing into. “She needs a safe place to fall. Tomorrow, we can go to his place with a body bag and a shovel.” 

Unfortunately, he was right. 

So, as much as she wanted to charge out the door and bring the wrath of god to the man who had hurt you - instead, she got you to drink the rest of the tea, and then she got you something oversized and comfortable to wear. 

She put you on the inside of the bed, closer to the wall to help you feel safe. 

Abby stared up at the bottom of the bunk, cursing herself for not trusting her instincts, listening to your sniffling cries. She was entirely surprised when you spoke. 

“I’m sorry.” You said, once again attempting to apologize for ‘imposing’ yourself on Abby and Manny in your time of need. As if you weren’t supposed to lean on good friends. As if these friendships weren’t founded on needing each other. “I shouldn’t be bothering you like this, I-” 

You moved to climb around Abby, moved to get out of the bed, and Abby stopped you with a gentle hand on your waist. You froze on the spot, your body half pressed against hers. She tried to ignore the tingles it sent through her, feeling you pressed up against her so close. You were vulnerable. You didn’t need her and her stupid feelings making things so messy. 

“Are you seriously going back to him?” Abby asked, her throat nearly stripped raw with rage. 

You let out a quiet whimper, and She wanted to kick herself. Of course you thought her anger was misdirected at you. 

“I’m sorry.” She doubled back, entirely quiet now. She reached up, gently cupping the back of your head, trying to soothe you. “I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant, I’m sorry-” 

“It’s all my fucking fault.” You sobbed, dissolving into more harsh cries. “I should just listen better. I can be better, I can be better, I know, I just-” 

“No.” Abby growled, now entirely insulted by the idea that you would ever think it was your fault. Even if you swung first, no one ever had permission to hit you. Not on an earth where Abby was breathing. If anybody ever laid their hands on you, no matter their stupid reasons, they deserved to have it come back on them twice as harsh. “It’s not your fucking fault. Not a chance, baby.” 

‘Baby’ - the word slipped from her lips before she could stop it, and at first she hoped that you wouldn’t hear it over your own chest shaking cries. 

But it seemed to soothe you. In a moment, your sobs quieted down, and you melted into her, your body going lax against hers, laying on top of her in a way that she had quite literally only dreamed of. 

“Abby-?” You croaked out, not daring to ask if your ears had been mistaken. 

“You deserve so much better than that.” Abby replied, her voice quaking with passion and the intense purity of her declaration. “So much better than whatever that fucking asshole has been giving you.” 

You lifted your head from where it had fallen on her shoulder then. Your eyes were glassy with tears, the one still swollen and bruised from where he had hit you, possibly worse now as the injury truly set in. Abby reached over and grazed a thumb oh-so-lightly over the ring of the bruise, cursing it for existing in her mind. You bored into her soul as you stared her down, looking for any trace in her eyes that what she was saying was a feigned comfort, rather than her undeniable truth. 

“Like you?” You posed, the words so quiet on your lips that the breath barely escaped. 

It was a fantasy. It was a far-off dream. 

But still - Abby put a hand on the back of your neck and pulled you into a gentle, entirely sweet kiss. It was a promise. She was never going to let anyone hurt you again. 

In those moments, laying in her bed in the dark, it felt more like a dream. She was too perfect. It couldn’t be real. 

When you pulled back from the kiss, your gentle breaths puffing across her now wet lips, the words got caught in her chest. 

‘I’m going to kill him.’ 

That’s truly what she wanted to say to you. In her mind it was a comforting promise, but she knew that to you, it would sound much more like a foreboding threat. 

She chose something else instead. 

“It’s okay.” She told you quietly. “Go to sleep now.” 

You nodded lightly, and relaxed against Abby once more, tucking your face into her neck. She felt comforted by feeling your gentle breathing against her skin. You fell asleep curled up tight to her body, clutching fistfuls of the blanket and her shirt as the anxiety crept back in while you slept. Abby continued to fitfully go over it all in her mind, wondering how she could have let this happen to you. 

Sometime that night, she did fall asleep (likely from the pure exhaustion of a thirty hour tour). When she woke up - you were gone. Somehow, you had sunk around her sleeping body and disappeared. 

The mind games of your abuser were in full effect; the things he had said to you dancing around inside your head. Even though Abby and Manny didn’t know it, you were on your way to apologize to him for supposedly starting the previous night’s argument. 

Both your friends were struck with worry, and they dressed quickly in order to search for you. 

They thought the best game plan would be to head to the cafeteria, to start asking around to find out if anyone had seen you. Abby was surprised when she got to the cafeteria and easily spotted you among the faces. 

She found that rage boiling in her stomach once again when she saw that you were talking to him. 

It was a feeling that quickly turned blinding when the word ‘whore’ was thrown at you. 

Apparently he believed that because you wearing one of Abby’s shirts (the clothing you had slept in and kept on) it meant you had fucked her, and you were cheating on him yet again. It was a grand conspiracy, because you had never cheated on him with anyone before. (Other than when you had kissed Abby, seeking comfort the night before.) 

But all of that was a mere blur at the back of Abby’s mind. 

She felt herself snap when you moved to walk away from him and he grabbed your wrist with an abrasive roughness, jerking you back toward him. 

Without hesitation - without even considering any earthly consequences, Abby charged toward him. When you saw her large, intimidating form appear behind him, your eyes lit up like a deer in headlights, but he didn’t seem to notice her coming. That would be his demise. He was too hellbent on torturing you to pick up on anything else. 

It gave Abby the perfect opportunity. 

She grabbed the back of his collar and lined up a punch. The impact to his nose caused him to drop the grip on your wrist, and you cupped your hands over your face to muffle a gasp as you watched the fountain of blood spatter out from the hit. He screamed out, starting on some kind of protest, but Abby landed another hit on his jaw with a curled fist. This sent him hurtling toward the floor, landing flat like a starfish on his back, only semi-conscious at this point. 

She had gathered the attention of everyone in the room by now; random strangers who stared with shock and awe as she stepped toward him and put a knee in the middle of his chest. Some people began to cheer at the very one-sided brawl as Abby continued to brutalize the man, pummeling his face with her fists, completely fuelled by her intense rage, intent on punishing him for even thinking about hurting you. 

You yelled a protest, and moved toward her, wanting to stop the violence. But immediately Manny thought better of anyone getting between Abby and her target, especially in this state of intense blinding rage, so he caught you by the shoulders and held you back. He simply let you collapse into his chest and cry as Abby continued to bruise her knuckles on the man’s stupid face. 

Owen was the only one brave enough to push through the crowd, grabbing Abby’s elbow and screaming her name. He dared to pull her off the unconscious, nearly dead man as she continued to pant like a raging bull. 

Abby didn’t even have time to bandage her knuckles before news of the incident got back to Isaac. And then you, her, Manny, and Owen got called up to his office at the FOB to explain why one of the newbies was in a coma after being beaten half to death in the middle of the cafeteria. On her way to the trucks, Abby caught Nora by the elbow and tried to convince the medic to smother your ‘boyfriend’ with a pillow. Nora said she would if she could get a moment alone in his room in the medbay. Naturally, she trusted Abby’s judgment enough to know the guy was a scumbag without having to ask why. 

Abby was the first one to be called into Isaac’s office while you sat in a chair in the hallway. You were still crying hysterically; upset that it had come to such intense violence, shocked that you had witnessed something so bloody, and terrified that Abby was now going to get in trouble with Isaac because of you. 

Manny and Owen waited with you; Owen trying to get the full story out of you and Manny sheltering you, trying to get Owen to lay off his questioning, seeing as you were still sensitive and shaken from almost being murdered the night before. 

When Abby sat in the chair across from Isaac, she crossed her arms and slouched, spreading her legs wide, her jaw still absolutely tight with anger. She made no effort to hide her bloodied knuckles. 

Isaac cleared his throat loudly before he spoke. 

“Now I know, if you tried to kill that man, you had a damn good reason to.” He said, giving Abby the benefit of the doubt. “What did he do?” 

“He knows what he did.” Abby huffed out, almost too angered to think about it without spiraling out into another rage fit. 

Isaac glared at her, obviously wanted a better explanation than that. 

“If he’s unfortunate enough to wake up, you can ask him about it.” She gritted through her teeth. 

Isaac sighed hard. “Now, that’s not very helpful, Abby.” 

Hatred churned in Abby’s chest. She hated having to speak it aloud, but she supposed it was necessary. She hated that Issac was putting you through this, rather than simply believing that Abby knew what justice was when she saw it.  

“He tried to kill Y/N.” Abby said, hot, rage-fuelled tears gripping at her throat. “He’s been abusing her.” 

Isaac did need to confirm the story with you, and you insisted that Abby sit in the room with you while you talked to him. Isaac was someone you found vastly intimidating because you rarely had to deal with him. 

Abby stood behind your chair with a comforting hand on your shoulder while you spelled out the entire thing, Isaac listening quietly - the bruises on you were more than enough proof for him, and he had Manny come to collect you and get you some water and some tissues while he told Abby how the whole thing should be taken care of. 

“When you get back, tell Nora to pull back the young man’s medical care. I don’t need him wasting resources.” Isaac instructed, firm and simple. 

He was a practical man, and Abby admired that. 

“If he somehow miraculously pulls through, we’ll... deal with him then.” Isaac continued. Abby nodded. “Next time something like this happens, deal with it more privately. Shooting a rabid dog in public frightens people. You know I trust your judgment on these matters, but… I don’t need others questioning you.” 

“Yes sir.” Abby quickly agreed. 

They took you back home and Manny took you back to their apartment to help you get settled, saying something about ‘right way to cook eggs’ as he took you down the hallway. Abby knew he would keep you distracted while she took care of business. She then visited the medbay to give Nora that note about ‘withdrawing’ the scumbag’s medical care. Which in reality, just meant that Nora guarded the door while Abby smothered the guy with a pillow, not to take any chances. 

Over the next few weeks, Abby made sure that you would be safe. She moved you into her and Manny’s apartment, ensuring you would be close by to start you on a road to better healing, and even though it was tough - things did go up from there. 

You found it easier to heal and get back to being your old self while being close by to your friends, and if you realized the feelings you’d had for Abby the whole time - that was just a bonus. 

It was something you reflected on one morning as you tossed a tennis ball to one of the dogs. You weren’t expecting Abby to come by - you didn’t think she would be collecting a dog, you didn’t think she had a patrol that day. 

“Are you checking someone out?” You asked, reaching down again to grab the tennis ball from Bear’s mouth when he brought it back to you. You took a moment to pet him, scrubbing behind his ears as he gratefully leaned into the touch. 

“It’s my day off.” She reminded you. “I just wanted to come check up on you.” 

You gave a grin at this. Even if you hated what that man had done to you, done your mind and your life - you did like how it was bringing you and Abby closer together again. 

“This is the easy part of my day.” You told her, looking down at Bear with fondness. “If you treat them right, they never bite you back.” 

Abby’s expression faltered from lightness, just for a moment. She knew it had a double meaning. You still believed that the whole thing had somehow been your fault. 

She gently reached out and took the tennis ball from your hand, tossing it far to the other end of the fenced in yard, causing Bear to run after it. It was a temporary distraction away from the dog so that you would have to face her. 

Abby knelt down beside you, where you had been crouching at Bear’s level, and cupped your face very timidly in her hand. You leaned into the touch, now locked in her precious gaze as she gathered the right words for you. 

“You are a good person, Y/N.” Abby told you firmly. “You deserve nothing but goodness in return. And anybody who treats you with anything less than kindness is someone who has evil in their heart. And they deserve to suffer because of it.” 

Tears clouded your eyes at the pure sincerity of her words. 

“Abby-” You croaked. 

Before you could get caught up in possibly arguing with her, Bear came barreling back, and dropping the ball in your lap once again. He then licked a large stripe up the side of your face, and you dissolved into laughter because of it. 

Abby wanted to get used to hearing that sound.

...

Final note: yes, I used to be @/pinkchubbiebunnie. Yes, this a post from my old blog (slightly cleaned up and edited). Please do not accusing me of plagiarising fics if you see this, because this is my own fic. This is my new blog. Feel free to follow me if you're interested in my fanfiction and thoughtful discussions of the media that I enjoy.

[primalbeatsourhearts]

The Call of the Moon

While I may not be posting any content on my version of Wild just yet, I figured you might like a small little snippet of a future oneshot! Just so u can get a little taste of what to expect!

It’ll be a while before this is fully published, since this will be happening later on in the overarching storyline! But it can give you some ideas for the plans and changes I have for Wild.

SPOILERS AHEAD FOR TOTK

Wild has gone through the entirity of botw and totk! Mostly follows canon lore, but there are a lot of changes as well to fit my story! But still, spoilers ahead. Read at your own risk!

This excerpt is based off of @kikker-oma ‘s newest comic linked here !! Plz go check it out, it’s amazing!!!

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Wild snarled at the imposters before him, kicking and thrashing as he desperately tried to launch himself out of their grip. Yet, Sky’s imposter held firm. This wasn’t them, of course it wasn’t them. 

It never was. No. It was one of the Demon King’s many hallucinations that he loves to plague Wild with. 

“Doesn’t it awaken memories? Memories of our time here?”

He could still feel that anger as he realized he was hunting for the wrong Zelda the entire time. That the real one sacrificed everything for him and he couldn’t even-

Wild tried kicking out, but still bound harshly by Sky’s legs. Barely able to move as the other desperately held on as though Wild was some wild horse. “I don’t know how much longer I can hold him ‘Rule, get that medicine down!”

“They aren’t your brothers, can’t you see it?” 

Of course he could. He could see the way their hands clearly reached to grab him like the Gloom Hands. See the way his eyes glowed that eerie yellow. The flickers of red underneath their fake worried faces. 

Why would they be worried for him, why are they still pretending? They have him, they have him and he’s not going to get out this time. He’s not going to be able to leave, the King won. He finally won, Wild was going to die but even worse, he was going to die alone. 

Were they gone too? His past selves? Did they sacrifice themselves like Zelda did? Or were they ever actually real, and he was once again trapped. Deep within the depths where he and the Demon King are still fighting. 

The Malice burned within him, his hands itching to tear something apart. It pulsated and stretched beneath his skin. The gloom felt like acid through his veins, it felt as though it was coming alive again, as though it died in the first place. 

He wanted to go home. He wanted the wolves. He wanted Twilight, and the fairies and the wilds that he grew up in. He wanted Sidon’s comfort, and Yona’s sweet words. 

He wanted Zelda.

Yet, as he stared up at the night sky, tears running down his face as the could feel the faint echoes of hands trying to maneuver him. He could see the gleam of the bright red blood moon.