#so like... angst material amirite?

[yuywonzzz]

I will take the suffering from you.

[gravitasmalfunction]

It's Friday afternoon, time for brainrot!

Ok, so, the fic I am not writing is Story of Kunning Palace, post-canon/AU where Xie Wei dies in the end, Jiang Xuening/Zhang Zhe, second chance/slow burn so slow glaciers have moved faster than this. We're talking 20 years before they next find themselves in a room alone together, let alone in a bed. I do not have the knowledge or the skill to write it but here is how it would go:

Xie Wei doesn't actually survive the thwarted rebellion. Xuening spends every minute with him in his final week or so before sepsis carries him off. She refuses all help and takes sole responsibility for nursing him. The canon epilogue is the little fairytale she weaves for him as he lays dying. Her sister Xuehui and the princess can't do anything much during these days except take care of Xuening as best they can and watch in horror as the newly-widowed Xuening loses herself in grief.

The doctor treating Xuening for exhaustion also notes that she is pregnant. Unable to take care of herself, without any material or family support from her dead baby daddy ("Xie Wei" was a false identity after all, and he didn't exactly leave her with any cash), and absolutely flat out refusing to have anything to do with her bio family with the exception of her sister, Xuening is on track to be a homeless single mum. Xuehui and Shen Zhiyi decide they will step up and take responsibility for preventing this disaster. Together they convince Fang Miao and Shen Jie to agree to a plan which is extremely unconventional but might just work to save Xuening and her child.

This is how Xuening, bereaved, pregnant and still stubborn to the core, finds herself married, very quietly and with a minimum of fuss, to Shen Jie. Again. Truly some parts of history cannot be escaped!

Xuehui's idea, which Shen Jie/Lord Linzi and his official wife Fang Miao are on board with, is that Xuening is brought into the household so she can live with Xuehui as long as she needs to, and her child gets the protection of being officially acknowledged by Lord Linzi. When she's ready to move on and restart her life, Shen Jie will officially divorce her and send her off with best wishes and a small fortune so she and the kid can live in comfort.

Shen Zhiyi also get official permission to move in with her brother, but really to be closer to and take care of Xuening. After all, Xuehui is also pregnant and wildly in love with her husband, who presumably wants to spend time with her, even if he says he doesn't mind that she's spending so much time with her poor sister. Also, having Princess Leyang join the household helps distract a bit from the scandal of the prince marrying two sisters from the same family. And inside the household, Shen Zhiyi is a comfortable point of focus for Xuening and Fang Miao. It's like study group all over again. There are worse fates, amirite?

Xuehui was the woman on the spot when Xuening lost it after Xie Wei died, but Zhiyi takes the lead when Xuening gives birth and the post-natal depression kicks in. Xuening is adamant that everything would be better if she just killed herself and left her newborn daughter in the care of her sister and Lord Linzi but Zhiyi will have none of that.

Roughly three years of solid angst since the failed coup, Xuening's depression finally lifts. She's safe and cared for in a household of people who love her, with a bright and bubbly toddler who is second miss to her cousin, first miss, and as inseparable from her little cousin as the sisters they are supposed to be. Maybe this was the point all along, to change the future not to save herself, but to give it to the next generation. Maybe their kids can be the sisters Xuening and Xuehui never got the chance to be themselves.

Meanwhile: Zhang Zhe. He has not seen Xuening since the attack on the palace. He woke up from his own injuries to find a couple of maids attending him, but they wouldn't say who sent them and he dismissed them as soon as he was well enough to haul his own water again. He spends his three years of mourning for his mother also horribly depressed, then to find some relief from it when he is finally allowed back to his official post.

So that's the set-up.

Next is fifteen-odd years of slow burn, in which Jiang Xuening and Zhang Zhe occasionally meet when circumstances bring them to the same social function, and the rest of the time they both spend just generally being aware of the course of each other's lives, even though each of them has independently decided not to interfere with the other, out of the high esteem and regard they have for them (idiots).

Zhang Zhe's career resumes, and he keeps refusing to marry.

Lord Linzi, who doesn't like politics but will be convinced to act out of duty, finds a natural ally in Zhang Zhe, who loves duty and also hates politics but is slowly learning to be more pragmatic about it.

Xuening keeps busy with her various businesses and investments and other projects, and as a result she finds it convenient to continue in Lord Linzi's household, even after Princess Leyang gets politicked back into the palace some years later, when Xuening's daughter is about 6 or 7 (two Shen siblings under the same roof? Unacceptable! What if they conspired against the throne? Get Leyang back into the harem post-haste).

Somebody keeps sending imperial exam candidates from the middle of nowhere to Zhang Zhe's house in the city, and as a result Zhang Zhe finds himself mentoring scholars of modest backgrounds, like himself, who will go on to be like-minded officials.

Xuening takes her daughter and often Xuehui's kids to go visit the princess in the palace, and the kids get the opportunity to socialise with their cousin, the baby emperor.

Zhang Zhe's career continues to progress, and he still refuses to marry but as he gets older the subject of his marriage doesn't come up as often as his friends and colleagues realise it's a lost cause.

Lord Linzi invites Zhang Zhe to spend more and more time socially at his mansion, but fucks it up when he suggests that Zhang Zhe could have carte blanche to visit whenever he liked for whatever reason (say, to visit Xuening) and offends Zhang Zhe so thoroughly that Zhang Zhe stops visiting altogether, and Xuehui has to go out of her way to manufacture an opportunity to call on Zhang Zhe and explain the crucial backstory that he's missing (that Lord Linzi takes Xuening as a sister only, the "marriage" is a convenient fiction, and Xuening's daughter is Xie Wei's, not Shen Jie's)

Zhang Zhe, now having the correct context for why Lord Linzi was trying to set him up with his own wife, resumes accepting invitations to visit Lord Linzi at home. He still refuses to entertain any intimate relationship with a woman. But he does now sometimes ask Xuening for investment advice.

Xuening is making more money than god by this point, and finds Zhang Zhe's investment goals hilariously tiny, but gives him serious advice anyway.

At this point I actually have a couple of thousand words drafted of Zhang Zhe accompanying Lord Linzi's family on a country stay, and Fang Miao taking the initiative to gently drop hints about Xuening's happiness and compatibility with Zhang Zhe, and the intra-sibling squabbling going on between the eldest boy/third young master, who is going into the palace to be the emperor's study partner, and Xuening's second young miss, who feels she should be the emperor's study partner instead, and is taking an altogether too-vicious glee in "helping" teach her third brother to be obedient and rule-abiding for when he goes into the palace. This is because I am setting up Xuening's daughter to be the next empress to continue the theme of all the nice things Xuening's generation couldn't have being realised in the next generation. (Nobody think too hard about how the palace system is inherently oppressive and awful, please, of course Xuening's daughter will have a great time being empress and be the exception to the norm, lalalalalala--)

Zhang Zhe spends increasing amounts of time with Lord Linzi's family as the kids get older and more interested in having a learned uncle available whenever they want. But he never spends any time alone with Xuening, obviously. To the point where even the kids notice it, and Xuening's daughter even says outright one day, when called out by her mother for moping and sighing with boredom: "I can't leave because you haven't finished talking with Uncle Zhang!" (busted!)

Xuening's daughter and the emperor progress from childhood friends to betrothed as the regency is winding up and the emperor comes of age (again don't think too hard about the emperor getting engaged to a girl who is nominally his cousin even though secretly they are not related by blood, lalalalalalala, etc)

The wedding finally comes around, Xuening's daughter enters the palace, and Xuening finally asks Shen Jie for a divorce and retires to the countryside

If you are still reading by this point, congratulations, this is where it goes from slow to burn.

Xuening is minding her own business in her little cottage in the countryside when Zhang Zhe turns up by himself on her doorstep

Xuening hands him a basket and immediately turns him around and sends him out to get firewood

When he comes back they keep busy preparing a meal, and then eating it, and then it's dark and there's no moon and the inn is quite some distance away, so it would be sensible for Zhang Zhe to stay the night really, but, there's only one bed...

[cue flashback to another cottage in another life where there was an empress and her loyal subject and only one bed]

Xuening offers him the bed, Zhang Zhe refuses politely, Xuening refuses his refusal and points out she's old now, and she's been married before and it's not a big deal. To which Zhang Zhe rebuts that she is not so old, and he hasn't been married ever, and it is his first time in a lady's bed. Somehow this turns into a proposal, and acceptance. Now they're married they can share the bed.

That's all they do, though, just share the bed. Well, and hold hands under the covers.

The following night Zhang Zhe finally loses his virginity.

The next week he goes down to the village and get materials to build a second bed, because sleeping in the same bed when you're middle-aged is less romantic than it sounds. But don't worry, they're still fucking like three times a day.

After a month or two they leave the little cottage and find a modest residence in town, because hauling firewood and fetching water is a young person's game, and buying plump, fresh vegetables from the market is infinitely more satisfying than digging all day and then waiting for weeks for the stringiest, toughest, most bitter greens one has ever tasted in their life.

The townsfolk gradually accept there is now an eccentric retired official in town (the local magistrate is on his best behaviour now), with his equally eccentric wife (generous to a fault with her neighbours, will not pay a single penny more than best price at the market no matter how much arguing is required to get there).

The only thing I am left undecided on is whether Xuening should find herself pregnant again at the ripe old age of forty-(mumble) and be delivered safely of a healthy young son, or whether they live happy and childless ever after, either way with the blessing of and to the delight of everyone who knows them.

Anyway, that's the extremely short version of the brainrot, and the end of my free afternoon. If you read this far, thanks for bearing with me and I hope you were entertained!

[this-is-krikkit]

Hello Kit

I am here for the fanfiction tropes rating game with: only one bed - arranged marriage - A/B/O - found family (feel free to skip one or more of those if it is too much, I got a bit carried away!)

And if it is ok for you, let's add: what is your favourite trope to read? What is your favourite trope to write?

Thank you 🩷

hey Kiyoshi! long time no see, i hope you're doing well ♥️ thank you for playing the trope rating game with me, these were fun! and nice idea to make me think of my fave tropes, that took me a second...

only one bed

rating: immediately A - love it (spend my time combing AO3 for it)

explanation: do i need to give you one??? i just. it's so yummy. it can be fluffy or smutty or angsty or all of the above, and ain't that the fucking goat for your otp? i just. YES. GIVE ME ALL THE ONLY ONE BED TROPE ALWAYS.

arranged marriage

rating: i guess B - like it (not one of my bigger cravings, but it can scratch a certain itch if I’m in the right mood)

explanation: i would have rated this one A if it wasn't unfortunately, in my experience, often lathered with problematic behaviors and depictions of male characters in particular (but not only as i've seen cringey takes on this for wlw ships too). i'm not targetting a specific ship or fandom for this, but there is a tendency in those AUs to have a power imbalance between the two characters that i find icky, esp in like royalty AUs. but i absolutely love this trope when it's both A and B being completely lost and unwilling participants in this but having to suck it up and deal with it, especially if there's an enemies to lovers vibe under there too. also.... arranged marriage and only one bed often go hand in hand, amirite?? 👀👀

A/B/O - omegaverse

rating: C - neutral (a good author might be able to sell it, but a bad one will kill it deader than dead)

explanation: sooo not neutral actually, but the definition still fits because i either hate it or love it. i've said it before, but i used to not even take anything that had to do with omegaverse into consideration. it just wasn't my thing, and i mean, i've just mentioned how much i dislike power imbalances in relationships so YEAH. the thing is, recently, i've discovered that there's more to this trope than dubious (or straight up nonexistent, which, ew) consent and heteronormative views of queer relationships, and that it's got a GUH-REAT potential for angst and interesting dynamics in a relationship. some of my favorite fics i've read recently have come with the tag "non-traditional ABO dynamics" and although i have to be veeeeeery careful and veeeeery picky when venturing into that part of any fandom (also, still not a fan of the smut aspect to it personally, tho i don't mind it either), it's a fascinating new world of possibilities to me. i may be writing something with that very trope for one of my snk ships, too. ijs.

found family

rating: A - love it (spend my time combing AO3 for it)

explanation: you know what, it's not only a trope i enjoy in fanfic, it's something i actively look for in canon material!! from team machine on poi and the swan mills family on once upon a time to the survey scouts in snk and the ada in bsd i just yesssss give me a blorbo with a dark past and/or a dysfunctional family only to Heal them through the chosen family they make for themselves. i CRAVE it!!!

fave trope to read

UNRELIABLE NARRATOR which is incredibly hard to explain as it can mean so many different things, but i'll sum it up to one aspect: i loveeee being surprised when reading fics, especially when it's done in a smart way. give me plot twists, give me unexpected revelations, give me narrators who lie to the reader (but for believable and interesting reasons that make sense, not just bc "huhu they're mean and cunning" as that's boring imo). i've written a few myself and have a bunch of wip/ideas for more, but i don't think mine are that well executed tbh.

fave trope to write

angst with a happy ending/fix it fics! because well!! i've been through canon blorbo deaths one too many times, and i need those to heal my lil heart. it's usually my reason behind starting to post fics for a fandom in fact: i disagree with canon and wanna fix it, so i come up with smth that's canon-compliant up to the point i think is bs, and then either rewrite that or try and heal my blorbos through it. that's right, my main motivation to write fanfiction is... spite. WHO'S SURPRISED? not me.

dividers by saradika-graphics

[calqlate]

what your favourite nxx boy says about you

cw/tw: includes cn server spoilers

view m.list!

— artem wing

there are two types of artem stans: 1) you're into the soft flustered blushy boy trope (soft dom vibes!!), or 2) you're into the rough manhandling dom. (or there's a chance you like both tropes.) there's two ends to this spectrum.

like this man, 99.9% of you guys are relationship virgins and have never dated someone before. you would rather have a heart attack and get run over by a truck than simp over anyone who isn't a 2d character.

you guys have the worst procrastination issues and enjoy rolling up to your exam with 3 hours of sleep and 5 cans of red bull in tow

everyone thinks you're so pure and all but omg you're kidding no one... babe you can't lie to me but you definitely screamed when you saw artem's 整装待发 mr (yk the one with him and that big booty of his) and his 2nd bday ssr. like what are your eyes looking at, his eyes are on his face babe—

— vyn richter

material girls. there. i said it.

you guys are colourblind and will happily fall into dr richter's psychology traps without hesitation. who's gonna stop you getting a free hug from him amirite?

vyn stans have a lot of things going on and being submissive and kinky af is up there on the list. i've seen the stuff written for and by vyn stans, it's quite... original... but when y'all saw his 2nd anniversary ssr card, it was a fun 180° experience LMAO

you're also a fellow dilf hunter like the artem stans but make it ✨bougie✨. you're definitely into rich rich guys.

— luke pearce

i respect you for simping for a guy who has 3 years left to live

you're into the childhood friends-to-lovers trope and I AGREE. I LOVE THAT TROPE.

back onto his lifespan thing, you guys bully him sm about that. y'all crack jokes about it then cry over it like... did someone give you too many shots or... but you're also begging hyv to let him live. so when y'all saw luke's backstory on his illness in chapter 9, y'all were ready to throw fists.

you guys are also oddly the biggest angst enthusiasts alive. no one else loves that more than you lot. i haven't seen a luke stan who hasn't gotten his 'looming nightmare' ssr and had a cryfest over it.

— marius von hagen

you have a jiejie/onee-chan/noona kink. you've probably never even had this kink before until marius von hagen happened.

the kinkiest freak among all the nxx boy stans. i am not joking. i've read y/n smut for all 4 boys and the marius' smuts are really... an experience lmao

the biggest marius bullies istg. y'all say things about him being annoying and egoistic but y'all do it with love. your love language is apparently bullying the love of your life affectionately.

you're loud. just loud in general. take that as you will, you guys are always talking about something or doing something attention-grabbing.

[thiscomicruinedmylife]

Question: Who would be a character you like/love the most or most identify with? appreciate all you do for this tiny fandom! :>

First of all, thanks!!! Just humbly reposting stuff and discuss whatever people want to discuss :) Second of all, that’s a good question!

Can’t say I wholly identify with anyone, but I do relate to a deadpan look and kind of please-leave-me-alone attitude both Gretchen and Aton are giving, since irl I have a severe case of resting bitch face and on top of that I’m introverted as shit.

As of the character I like/love… wooo boy, where do I even start… I'm gonna ramble for a bit, so please bear with me here. My absolute faves are Tim and Astaroth Matauzier and let me explain why.

Short and simple, I always like funny pathetic losers who get their asses kicked (just look at some of my other faves).

And wow does Astaroth get his ass (nose) kicked a lot.

Doesn’t help that his human counterpart Tim is a poor little meow meow, who’s also getting his ass kicked, but in this instance I just feel sympathy for him, cause here it’s absolutely undeserved.

And for the long reason why I like them… I like the creative potential they have. Not in a sense of development, but the whole concept.

So Tim was supposed to be only that – Tim. But he’s been literally split into two characters since his birth and I kinda can’t treat them like a single one. At least not fully. They were two different people for 14 ass years, how could you unify that and not have some bumps in the road so to speak. Just this fraction is already fascinating enough, how can a person grapple with being two? Two set of beliefs, two set of memories, two behavioral patterns. Top notch angst/psychology fanfic material, amirite or amirite.

But it doesn’t stop there! They were presented like two separate characters and then Francis dumps this infobomb on us that Tim and Astaroth's been one person all along, which is… fine, I could run with that, but his explanation doesn’t make sense?

He claims you can’t see Tim and Astaroth at the same place at once, which implies he’s been switching between two of his personalities and teleporting between the human/park world. And then in literally a few panels he says there were two bodies he jumped between. Huh???

Also this weird line.

So which one is it? Was there a single body or was there two? I'd say it's an important difference. Either you have a teleporting dude with split personality disorder or you have one brain shared between twins.

I know this could be a translational issue, but some of native French speakers can’t understand Francis’ explanation either??? HUH?????

Yeah, I also can't, for the life of me, understand how no one noticed a child constantly disappearing out of thin air for 14 years straight. This weird discrepancy is what makes it so interesting though. My friends and I spent hours discussing, guessing and straight up headcanoning how this child works.

Obviously headcanon territory here, but we came up with “there were two bodies with shared but split consciousness; when one body was active, the second one was sleeping or dissociating or being awake but severely absentminded”. That way he won't disappear randomly and school bullies will have reasons to pick on him. And we headcanoned that when they've become one they were having conversations in their unified head and fought for the driver's seat, which could potentially be either funny or tragic, your choice.

If you survived this long ass ramble/rant congratulations and sorry it took so long :D But I do love this stupid child-who-became-office-rat and he absolutely lives rent free in my head.

fanart by @martapreliy 

[parchmentedpetrichor]

➳the girl in the lilac dress ♠ ♡

in which y/n meets fred's ex-girlfriend, days after fred confessed his love for her. there's still some confusion on the status of their relationship. angst -> fluff. narrated by you, y/n l/n.

fred weasley x fem!reader

word count: ±5.4k

tw: angst (not too bad though), mean words, blood, mentions of auror missions, kidnapping, needles, st mungo's

drop a follow if you wanna see more of this content!!

my masterlist:D

ft. hermione, lee and alicia

I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you

I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you

the girl in the lilac dress

i was in a good mood. on the way to work to receive my mission, i was humming a song that had just come out. it was catchy and worth the wait.

out of the corner of my eye, a lilac colour appeared suddenly. strange, i thought. it approached me, in the form of a beautiful woman. she had the lightest grey eyes and the smoothest milky-white skin, and the shiniest locks of dark brown hair. she walked in a flowy lilac gown, her slim model-like body walking in a model-like fashion.

i was pretty sure she wasn't headed towards me, but when her luxurious voice said "good morning" in the calmest tone possible to me, i looked at her confusedly.

"hi!" i replied brightly, smiling.

she smiled sinisterly, "my name is pretoria aphrodite, i'm fred's ex-girlfriend."

he hadn't ever mentioned an ex, but i knew he had dated quite a few people. she made me seem like a glass of water next to a glass of red wine, naive and ugly. i was those two things anyway.

"oh! i'm y/n l/n! nice to meet you, you do seem like a daughter of aphrodite," i said politely.

"darling, all women are daughters of aphrodite. i understand fred's interested in you?"

she observed me and i laughed.

"i don't think that's quite the word. he's my best friend."

"friends with benefits?"

"oh gosh no! i don't really know where we stand, honestly."

"bitter about it?"

i thought for a second, "nah, i couldn't be. love's a hard thing."

"it is, indeed, and you work for the ministry?"

i nodded, "head of the auror office. what about you?"

"i model for witch weekly."

i gasped, "you're the p. aphrodite? i should've known!"

"big fan?" she looked amusedly at me.

"my friends are, so naturally i am."

"you don't seem the type fred usually goes for."

"i wouldn't say he's even going for me," i said cautiously.

"you are much too cutesie for his type."

i glanced up at her. she was smiling kindly.

"pfft, but better cutesie than nothing, amirite?" i asked friendlily, "well it's been nice to talk with you, but i gotta hurry!"

"no worries, i'll come with you, i have some business at the ministry too. have you seen his past exes?"

"uhh, not really?"

"well they're all models for one magazine or another."

"oh, okay. and that's important because...?" i asked her carefully.

"i just thought you should know."

i laughed, "i'm not model material, am i? i don't mind at all."

she looks taken aback. "i would say, with longer hair," she plucked a hair out of my poor mess of locks, "and a shorter upper body, with perhaps lip fillers, you'd look model-like."

her tone was analysing and not at all attacking.

"only three things??" i asked, shocked.

"you are rather... pretty already," she mused, "not model-like, but cute."

we had reached the ministry.

"thanks, see you later!" she waved and disappeared.

all that was left was a buzzing fly which soon flew away.

i immediately dialled in my auror code in the red telephone box and was sent into hermione granger's office.

"'mione! how good to see you!" i hugged her.

"hello y/n!"

in the ministry and the auror department, the head of the auror office was probably more important than the minister for magic. i didn't know why. she had brought me a cup of hot chocolate.

"thanks, 'mione, you didn't need to. what's the mission today?"

"two babies are being held hostage in a coded location by a person who calls themselves the light lord. dark lord, light lord, y'know?" she handed me a coded piece of parchment.

i thoughtfully pondered, "the light lord. who do you need?"

"i was hoping you go on this mission, then you could give me some news on this light lord person."

"that's doable. we'll need to bring in hepole and a ministry official to negotiate passports and such. and a strong auror team."

"right on it. i'll get wally becker and charlotte-ann becker. they're a force to be reckoned with on the borders."

"how much experience?"

"they're twins, been doing this for about fifty years now."

"perfect. and hepole?"

"on the way."

"thanks, minister," i winked at her, getting out my telephone and dialling the disguise unit.

"hello, poplinn speaking."

"pop, we need a few disguises. light lord."

"miss l/n! o-of course!"

"and pop?"

"y-yeah?"

"call me y/n."

i hung up, dialling harry's office.

"harry, call draco and be in my office in ten minutes. i don't care what business he's doing with scorpius, we've got babysitters here. light lord, perhaps a second of voldemort."

"of course."

i picked up the ringing phone that was in the corner of hermione's office.

"y/n, me and scorpy are having a zoo day, we're at the muggle zoo you suggested."

"sorry dray, but it's important."

"there's no one else?"

"there are others, but we need your expertise."

there was a pause, "i won't need to show my dark mark?"

"it's fading anyway. no."

"i'll be paid?"

"in hundreds."

"how old are the children?"

"2 and 4," hermione said.

the silence told me he was sold.

"i'll be there."

i picked up the big microphone and said, "auror unit 156 to the brief room. no need to bring anything. see you there!"

"good luck," hermione grimly said, "be safe, head."

"mhm and cup o' coffee tomorrow? if i survive, that is," i grinned.

"'course."

i smiled, "c'ya!"

she was shaking her head.

"oi, no disappointment, 'mione! i was the one who got the ministry out of paperwork!"

"burning paper doesn't count, y/n."

"it wasn't burning paper, hermione granger, it was arson."

"no, it was the saddest form of arson i've ever seen."

"hey! that's rude."

"just go on your mission already."

i laughed, "on it, minister. kalle?"

kalle looked at me, "yes?"

"tell miss minister to take a break and play a game or something, will you?"

she smiled, "okay."

"give my thanks to your mother too, loved the cookies!"

"alright, good luck, head!"

"thanks, bye!"

i apparated to the brief room, where everyone was strapped into special camouflage clothes.

i handed hepole the parchment and immediately began briefing the unit, harry and draco, on the mission.

"please be safe out there. if you're injured, apparate or travel back here, okay?"

i looked at hepole.

he cleared his throat, "they're in albania. the forest there."

"okay. harry and draco will provide attacking forces," the two nodded.

"i want lopex, quentin blake, quentin grill and hilly to break into any establishment," i say to the team, "and eron, hawks, melv, argonas to hold the offender hostage. johnathan, team healer as always. i'll take the children. hepole, you come and accompany us till the forest, then you have my permission to stay back, and beckers, stay invisible with the cloak, write a report for the minister when you come back, understand? have faith, team! i believe in you. we travel by apparition with the machine in three minutes. call your family, chat, have a snack, drink some water, and relax."

i picked up my telephone and dialled my parents.

"hi mum, dad, i'm going on a mission!"

"alright, be safe sweetie," my mum called.

"yeah, don't die kiddo," my dad added.

"right right, i love you, bye!"

the mission was successful. we rescued the children and sent the kidnapper to trial for azkaban. i escaped with a gash on my forearm, but quickly fixed it up with a spell. it ended late in the evening, so the team healer had gone home. the wound kept opening again, but i wasn't sure if it needed stitches.

putting everything away and making sure the aurors were okay, i headed back to the apartment i shared with fred.

i felt emotionally and physically drained, ready to enjoy a good shower and a good late dinner.

when i fiddled with the key to the door and opened it, my heart absolutely stopped.

pretoria aphrodite was kissing fred passionately. i felt my heart fall ten thousand flights of stairs in disappointment. of course. i was all a rebound who was pathetically in love with him.

when they stopped and saw me, pretoria smirked and fred stood up, astounded.

"uhh, continue? sorry," i apologised awkwardly.

"wait, y/n, it's not what it looks like-" he said.

"i don't mind, be safe," i smiled, too tired and too weak to do anything, closing the door and feeling tears well up in my eyes as i took my bag and myself somewhere. anywhere away from this all. my wound burned. i cursed under my breath as i made my way to st mungo's.

"y/n, you should have come here earlier!" yvonne, my friend, says, as she slowly injects a needle into me, "it's infected! and it needs stitches."

i laughed, "everything needs stitches. this is why i didn't become a healer, yvonne."

she shook her head in dismay.

"lol."

i watched the needle go in.

then she stitched the bloody mess of a wound up, cleaning it gently.

"now i can't stay, y/n," i pouted, "no, don't give me that face, i have other patients."

i nodded, "thanks yvonne."

"no problems. take care. you're too reckless."

"am not!"

she laughed. "that's funny."

after the trip to st mungo's which was pretty short, i wondered what to do. my mind kept floating to the scene i had just witnessed.

i was just the stupid, stupid, girl he used as a rebound. he didn't even use me as a real rebound, just someone who was simply infatuated with him to help him forget his unforgettable ex.

looking at a shop window, i caught a glimpse of myself. i hated being insecure but it happened.

i looked ugly. eyes too small, nose too big, lips not full enough. my thighs touched and i didn't have abs. i had a long gash running down my forearm, surrounded by other cuts. my hair was messy and disgusting. compared to the angel on earth pretoria was, i was nothing. small and plain was nothing when luxurious and beautiful was present.

and it hurt. my heart hurt. my head hurt.

i shook my head gently of my thoughts, chuckling bitterly.

fred weasley was completely and utterly out of my league.

whatevs, i thought. hurting was fine.

deciding to get over him once and for all, i bought some groceries and apparated to the doorstep of lee and alicia's glamorous cottage.

i knocked twice on the door. "hellooo!" i called out.

"baby, can you get that?" lee asked alicia.

alicia opened the door, smiling as she saw me.

"hey ali!"

"hi! come in!"

at first glance i could tell she knew something wrong.

"can i sleep here tonight? and take a shower? and eat some of your food please guys? and maybe steal a shirt i left here for safekeep? and maybe use your telephone? i'm really sorry for troubling you, so i got you guys snacks."

i was the second cousin by marriage of lee. it was good overall, but he was super naughty.

"snacks?"

"your favourites."

"then i guess you can," he said cheekily and i laughed.

"alicia, i don't know how or why you ended up with this child, but i'm glad you did," i told her and she laughed heartily.

"he's cute, isn't he?"

"no," i quickly stepped into the guest bedroom and took a long shower, letting a few tears slip but not enough so that it looked like it. i was subtle.

i bundled up in heavy clothing and wrapped my hair in a towel.

gingerly, i bandaged the wound.

by the snores in the other room, lee was asleep. i crept out quietly, going to cook something.

alicia was sitting down, with my favourite comfort meal prepared. i felt tears of appreciation well up in my eyes.

"thank you, ali, i love you."

"you damn well do."

we both giggled.

"what happened?" she asked me.

"nothing. i just wanted a change."

"from fred? liar. i'll ask again. what happened, y/n?"

"just a long mission, that's all."

"after long missions you usually watch movies with fred."

"couldn't i visit my best friend and my cuz?"

"you visit us on weekends. it's a friday."

"well i wanted to visit you!"

"bullshit."

"is it that hard to believe?"

"what the fuck did fred do to you?"

"nothin'?"

"c'mon y/n, you have to tell me. there's a reason why you didn't go to angie and george's tonight."

"i went here because they're super kissy. you guys have space and act normally. i appreciate that."

"you're awesome at lying."

"i'm not lying!"

"does this happen to involve pretoria aphrodite?"

i nodded, sighing, "she's so nice and pretty." i played with my food.

"i bumped into her. she's pretty, but not nice."

"oh?"

"she called me fiercely ugly. she forgot i model for witch weekly too."

"what did you say back?"

"i told her to fuck off."

i laughed, "she was very nice to me. but next time i see her imma kill her."

"of course she was nice to you, you're a lil angel! anyway, she's an animagus, didya know?"

"whoa how did you know?"

"caught her in a jar. she's a fly. who do you think told hermione to catch rita skeeter in the jar?"

i laughed, "rita skeeter is a beetle! gosh, she's annoying."

"what did fred and pretoria do?"

"nothing."

"please tell me?"

"they-" i swallowed, "they were kissing, and so i came here because i didn't wanna watch anymore."

"hang on, he told you he loved you a few days ago?"

i nodded.

"that doesn't seem right."

i shrugged, "pretoria's better than me. i don't blame him."

"his mother would kill him!"

i shrugged again, "i don't think he was legit when he said that."

"molly weasley, y/n!"

"look, he can explain it to you, i don't even wanna hear it. the first stage of mourning is denial, they say."

"doesn't mean it's good."

"denial is awesome. it's ignorance, but you choose to be stupid. i'm already so stupid!" i groaned, covering my face with my hands, "so so so so so so so stupid, foolish, dumb, and i don't want you to tell me i'm not because i know i am. pathetic."

i gobbled down the rest of the meal, "ths 's delicous," i said, swallowing, "g'night!"

"don't be afraid to let it all out."

"yeah."

i shut the door softly, before brushing my teeth and collapsing exhaustedly on the bed, nodding off quickly.

the next day, i woke at 4am, and put on new clothes, apparating to the phone box and filling out paperwork for the missions yesterday.

i joined hermione quickly, handing her a cappucino and sipping my mocha.

"court sitting this early?" she asked me.

i nodded, "mistake of sirius black, now they do all court sittings within 24 hours of arrest."

"that's smart."

"yeah. it's good. he's obviously guilty right? just a dust of veritaserum to bring it all out?"

"i reckon he'll just confess."

"criminals don't go down easily."

"you guys did a spotting job. the children were unharmed."

"are they here today?"

"they're in st mungo's. being monitored."

"parents?"

"dead."

"oh gosh, those poor children. what's going to happen to them?"

"someone's adopting them, wally becker and his wife."

"that's awesome."

the court hushed as we entered the room. hermione and i shared amused glances and began the sitting.

he was found to be guilty and was chucked in azkaban.

"what an idiot, sending a message like that."

"yup," i chuckled, "what with hepole in our ministry, they never escape."

we laughed.

"how's everything with ron?" i asked her.

"i don't know if he's still into me?"

i almost laugh at her statement, "bro. of course he is."

"i never see him."

"then see him more!"

"how? i'm so busy!"

"busy enough for ron?" we both took sandwiches from the canteen lady with courteous smiles and words.

we sat down at the cafeteria.

"i guess not, but he's busy!"

"busy enough for you?"

"i guess not."

"'xactly."

"but he might not wanna go on a date."

"why? the boy's obsessed with you, 'mione!"

the aurors and ministry workers looked at us in fear as i rose up. i chuckled.

i immediately skipped over to the telephone, putting in the WWW's number.

"y/n! what on earth are you doing?" hermione said in a panicked tone.

"nothing to be worried 'bout."

"hello?" it was george. i thanked the heavens for that.

"yolo george, give the phone to your lil bro please."

"'kay."

hermione was gaping at me. i smirked at her.

"y/n?"

"hey ron, i want you to meet me in rosemary park at 5pm today."

"o-okay."

"could you also bring hermione's favourite snacks and wear an extra jumper?"

"what? why?"

"i'm curious, that's all," i said, "see you there!"

"is that y/n?" i heard fred's voice.

"nup, it isn't," i replied.

and with that, i hung up.

"hey 'mione?"

she was glaring at me, "what."

"meet me at rosemary park at 5pm?" i batted my eyelashes at her, before bursting out in laughter.

she laughed, "i love you."

"pfft, love ya too. you really are too careful. like he would reject you."

"what do you think i should wear?"

"let's go off work early today, at 3," i suggested, "we're both on top of our work anyway."

"okay! you wanna go now?"

"it's 11?"

"yeah!"

"alrighty! kalle!"

kalle turned to us, "yes?"

"hi! me and minister are going out to talk about the mission."

"alright, bye."

we apparate to hogsmeade.

"what theme do you wanna go for?"

"hmm," she thought for a second, "floral!"

"alrighty!" i fumbled for my cell phone and dialled the WWW's again.

"hello?" it was fred this time.

"heyo freddie," i said to him like nothing had ever happened, "tell ron to dress up at 5 pm in something cute but not too out there, preferably in florals or somethin', and he better bring me hermione's favourite flowers."

"wha? if he's going with you then- ohhhh."

"thanks, bye."

"wait!"

"mhm?"

"can we talk?"

"erm- about what exactly?"

"everything."

i sighed, "later, okay? i'm out with hermione and you've got work."

"okay. have a good time, lovely."

"you too."

i was utterly confused. here he was one day kissing pretoria, and now he was calling me lovely?

what the hell was going on?

"let's go, mione!"

we went and bought her a pretty pink dress with white lilies adorning it. it was cute and definitely casual, sort of like a sundress.

"what if he doesn't come?" hermione chewed on her lip.

"hermione jean granger, we both know that ron is absolutely definitely a thousand times head over heels in love with you. he wouldn't ditch you for the world! and look at you! anyone can see he's lucky to have you! you both are star-crossed. when has he ever ever ditched you?"

"with lav brown."

"lavender, she's, she's dead, hermione," i said carefully, "fenrir greyback bit her to death. it was a tragic, heroic, death. she was listed in the extended casualties sent to my office a few months after the battle. i think she's watching down on us from wherever she is up there."

"she's dead?"

"yeah," i replied sadly, "life is so short."

"yeah."

"what i'm tryna say, is that that might've happened, but it won't happen again now that he knows you love him and he loves you. understand?"

"yeah."

"and love him well, for the sake of lavender brown."

"for the sake of lavender brown," she said, smiling.

"yup, now, light lord. his name is actually pont knight."

"pont knight?"

"former assistant of me."

"pont knight?"

"yeah, i know right."

"how did he go again?"

"oh, i fired him," i laughed.

"why?"

"smart guy but terribly lazy and he kept asking for promotions! like please do something if you want money."

"interesting."

"he moved to eastern europe to chase after the trendiness of the islands. i think it was just an excuse. he's changed. he used to be clean-shaven and have the blondest hair."

"do you think he did anything else?"

"we did put him on veritaserum, right?"

"yeah, but it's illegal to put someone on it for more than 10 minutes now in court sittings."

"we could go visit him in azkaban later? i'll take gregir."

"yeah, maybe tomorrow or the day after?"

i nodded, "'course. today is a rest day for the aurors right?"

she nodded, "yeah, half of the agency is at home or working out in the gym."

"good. sometimes this work is so tolling, 'mione."

"yeah, i heard from st mungo's you got hurt?" her eyes were concerned.

i rolled up my sleeve, "that's it."

"that's it? what do you mean, that's terrible! you need to take better care of yourself."

"well sometimes it's hard to. it was worth it."

we continued chatting until it was 4:30.

"oop!" she checked her watch, "i have to go!"

"good luck! tell me how it goes, minister! i'll head back to check if anyone's called for you or me and dust it all up."

"thanks. i owe you."

"nah. i owe my job to you. if minister for magic didn't exist, i wouldn't either. i love you 'mione, be safe!"

"love you too!"

i apparated to the phone box and typed my letters in.

with a whoosh, i immediately spotted two letters and a beeping phone. i answered the phone, solving the problem of the woman on the other end of the line and scribbled a reply to both of the letters.

i finished the paperwork and sent it off, then visited my office. it was piling with letters. i answered all of them, redirecting some of them to different departments, before calling everyone back.

i spotted some of the aurors from yesterday's mission sitting in the cafeteria and talking.

i sat down next to them, "how are you guys doing? any injuries?"

they shook their heads, "we've been spending time in the healer's office and just exercising lightly by the orders of johnny," argonas explained and i nodded.

"take it lightly, and go home if you want to. seeing family always helps the process, hopefully not too many nightmares?"

they laughed, "nightmares all the time, miss," hawk said lightly, "get used to it in this job."

i frowned, "have you tried speaking to doctor yvonne? she might have ways to solve nightmares."

"ahh, miss, sleeping draughts can only do so much," hawk replied cordially.

i laughed, "alright, hawkeye, but just make sure you're not getting traumatised okay? what about you, lopex, quentins?"

they shrugged.

"it's okay? the door was very hard to bust into," lopex said quietly, "we had to try several bombarding charms."

"now, lop, it was easy work!" draco said, sitting down, "hello, head auror, hello unit."

it brought on a cacophony of greetings.

"how are you doing, dray?" harry sat down next to him, "hi everyone!"

we all replied with more greetings and a steady conversation started and flowed for a couple of hours.

i felt my cell phone go off and i excused myself, noting it was 9pm already.

i apparated to the apartment doorstep, knocking on the door just in case anything was happening. i checked the caller id, it was hermione.

fred opened the door, hair messy, still good looking. i smiled at him, patting his shoulder as i ran to the ringing telephone and picked it up.

"y/n!" i could just hear the beam in hermione's voice.

"'mione! how did it go?"

"absolutely wonderful, head auror, ahhh, he's so cute!"

"what happened?" i asked, smiling already.

"well it was really cold when i saw the picnic blanket, which was matching my dress for some weird reason, and ron was there in the cutest button up and he looked so handsoME and he gave me a flower, he's always handsome but i just can't! ahhhh!" she squealed and i clapped my hands in excitement.

"and then i was shivering and he gave me hiS JUMPER and it smelled like him and oh my gosh i think i might just be in love, y/n!"

i giggled, "my cooling charm did work!"

"whaT y/n????"

cackling, i said, "continue, i wanna hear more this is so adorable!!!"

i ignored the dirty glance fred gave me, quietening my voice.

"and then we had food and he said he had cooked it himself and was being such a dear and i told him that i loved him over and over again!!!"

i squealed silently again.

"and, and, gosh my english has gone out of the window!"

"english is nothing compared to the language of love!!" i giggled.

"we watched the sunset whilst cuddling, and i fell asleep and then when i woke up i was in his bed and he was looking at me intently and i just, i'm the luckiest girl alive!"

"you are but you deserve it! that's so sweet! i'm happy for you goshhh, you are the cutest couple. you're both such darlings!"

"and then we watched a muggle movie and he got scared of the spiders and it was so adorable ahhhhHHHH!!!"

"that's the cutesttttt," i gushed.

another dirty look from fred. i gave him a frown back.

"and then he walked me home and it started raining and we kissed in the rain and another check off of my bucketlist and oh my gosh he's so perfect."

"oh gosh that's beautiful," i was smiling uncontrollably.

"anyway," her tone changed into one of mischief, "wanna meet up tomorrow to talk about it?"

"sure thing! when and where? i'll be there!"

"erm, lemme chec- think," i heard the suspicious rustling of papers.

"you're sus. let's just talk about it over the phone. i don't want anything weird."

"how about 10 am in the morning at the field of fireflies?"

"that's a highly romantic place, miss minister. isn't it for couples or something?"

"no? you must be talking about fiona farm."

oh. "yeah, probs, well okay, it better have good coffee. i'm dying of boredom too, does it have a playground??" i asked, hopefully crossing my fingers.

"nope."

"awww, shucks, i don't think i'll go then. you wanna come over though?"

"no please come! there's a surprise!"

i was sold, "lovely. i'll be there at 9:30!"

"no, no, don't do that."

"what the hell, hermione, you're being so suspicious!"

"i'm not, okay? just come on time, you won't regret it."

"if there's any funny business i'm not committing arson ever again."

"oh crap."

i sighed.

"just come anyway!!! good night cheerio!!!"

"what the-"

the line ended.

i frowned, noticing the glare fred gave me yet again.

"is everything okay??" i asked him.

"no," he said rudely.

"well, do you need any help?"

"no."

"how was your day?"

"fine."

i sighed, "okay."

"you called ron cute."

i laughed lightly, "that's it?? and so what's kissing a girl huh, nothing? i called him cute because he treats 'mione like a goddess, because she is a goddess, for goodness sake. and he is cute, in a completely objective way," i added absentmindedly, "all you weasleys are."

he frowned.

"she kissed me!"

"oh i don't mind, i couldn't. my two braincells can't handle it. you kiss whoever you wanna, okay? live, laugh, love, and all that." i smiled.

he was silent.

"and we can talk after i meet up with hermione, okay?"

"okay."

"we don't needa if you don't wanna, of course. g'night."

"have a nice sleep."

the next morning, i got up and went to the field of fireflies or whatever.

it was a beautiful place. it was a full on field. meadows stretched across the near english countryside. the sky was clear and light, and the world around me was stunning.

winds blew from all directions, and i soon found myself accio!ing a jumper.

"hermioneeee???" i called, "you're leaving me hanging."

had hermione stood me up? i chuckled at the very thought, soon rolling in the field of flowers as i laughed.

"hermione you devil you stood me up! you left your poor little work wife hanging!" i shouted dramatically.

i suddenly spotted a little house? by the side of the meadow.

i ran towards it.

"whoa."

it was absolutely magnificent. beige little bricks were stacked on top of each other, grey bricks dotted in. the shillings were dark green, and plants hung out everywhere in the cracks of the house.

large windows which reflected the blue light in the sky spanned across the whole house, and a single wooden door stood ajar.

i just wish i had brought a camera. i sat on the grass, playing with the hem of my jumper sadly. even hermione didn't have time for me. i wondered what a sad person i must seem like.

"contemplating life there?" i heard a far off voice. i swung my head around, seeing fred standing and grinning.

yeah well duh i was, no thanks to you, i thought.

i immediately got up.

"we can talk here, right?" fred asked, as he brought me into the house.

"wow," inside, it was cluttered and messy, with plants sprouting everywhere and bookcases and things everywhere. i loved it.

"you like it?" he asked.

"love it."

"good, because i bought it," he laughed at my flabbergasted expression, "i'm rich, darlin'. let's sit, i cooked lunch."

"was this your plan? to have hermione stand me up?" i asked.

"love, i wouldn't call this a plan. simply just a boy trying to explain himself."

"look i don't need an explanation. i told you, you can love whoever you wanna, i don't mind, i don't care, i support."

"but i'm gonna have to explain because i wanna kiss you."

"then go ahead," i sighed, "if you're lying i will stab you."

"jeesh okay."

i looked at him.

"oh yeah, i forgot the food, here," he said casually, handing me a plate filled with yummy looking delicacies. i was willing to put up with his rubbish story telling for the food, i guess.

"alright, i'm all ears."

"okay. so she talked with you right?"

i nodded.

"did she take a piece of hair from you?”

i nodded again.

"so you came home just right about when the night lights flicker on in london. or so i thought it was you. it was actually, aphrodite, yeah? in polyjuice potion. and she knocked on the door, which i thought was strange. i opened it and she immediately kissed me, as you. and it was weird but it was you and i would give the world to kiss you like that," he said bluntly and i could feel my face heating up, "and then it went like that for a few seconds and she turned into pretoria, and by then the woman had her claws on me. then the door opened and i knew i had made a mistake and then you left and apologised so sweetly. i'm so so sorry, my love, please, i never meant to hurt you, i never meant to do anything. i broke up with her last year. i haven't wanted to be with her since. i want to be with you."

i looked at him. i knew he was genuine.

"okay. i'm sorry too, for not trusting you. i guess i was just really unsure of our relationship. it's still kinda blurry."

"what do you wanna be?"

"could we be official, please?"

he grinned, "of course."

then smiling sheepishly, he added, "can i kiss you now?"

"only if i'm the only girl you kiss from now on," i teased, smiling.

he blushed, placing my hands over his heart. it was beating very very fast.

"feel that, beautiful?"

i nodded.

"only you."

he gave me a cheesy grin and laughed at my blushing face, before tilting my head upwards and going in for a kiss but kissing my cheek.

"that's not fair!"

and that's how his head ended up falling into my lap, as i ran my fingers through his ginger strands.

he had fallen asleep just as the sunset began.

it was breathtaking. hues of orange and red danced across the sky.

"i can think of something a lot more beautiful than that," fred said, smiling.

"oh?"

"yeah. yeah."

"i don't believe you."

"that's because you can't see yourself right now."

[akampana]

Kid gil/saber Lily. YOU ARE NOT READY FOR SO,MUCH,CUTENESS.

Hnggggg anon you are so right I'm definitely not ready ;_;

What made you ship it?

Apart from the GilArt variant bias, I would say that I find this ship very refreshing, fluffy and cute. It's the kind of comfort ship I gravitate to after writing an angst chapter because it's JUST TOO DAMN ADORABLE.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

Among all the GilArt variants, this is the only one that is certified angst-free™

I can't quite describe exactly why, but something about Lily being taller and probably older than Ko-gil sends me over the moon (Especially since in all the other versions, the opposite is true)

Because of the above, that Lily tends to let herself get dragged around by Ko-gil on play-dates in order to look after him. (WAKU WAKU ZABUUN DATE AMIRITE?! can you just imagine that? with the water park and just swimming in the pool and getting ice cream together and riding coasters and *ehem* okay, I think you get what I mean)

And you better bet that cheeky little kid knows exactly what he's doing.

Pretty sure there's actual material that alludes to him liking Saber Lily.

Kid-gil's sweeter and a bit of a gentleman, perfect escort for sweet little lily.

Kid-gil would literally get her anything she even just mentions off-handedly. Flowers? gotcha. Food? No prob, straight from the Gate. Horses? He'd get her Chiron if he couldn't find a real one.

Innocent cheek kiss? Innocent cheek kiss.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have about your ship?

I feel like asking for more content is getting a bit redundant so hmm, let's see.

They would totally hang out with Alexander too, and since Lily's on the older side of the kids, she'd totally be the big sister reading to Nursery Rhyme and Jack.

[babysizedfics]

Little Accidents, Big Developments

Bonus chapter: Yellow

[This is an age regression story]

Chapter Summary: Janus detects a lie.

Chapter word count: 1,800

Other chapters: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / bonus

Read on AO3 or below the cut!

Content warnings: light angst, very mild blood via a bitten lip, and brief, hypothetical mentions of disembowelment and decapitation (Remus, amirite?)

oOo

Janus sipped at his chamomile tea, only faintly registering the bright yellow haze that overcame the left side of his vision. Another lie.

His vision would flare several times a day at least, always informing him of an untruth spoken by one of the sides. He was, of course, accustomed to this alert, having lived with this power for the entirety of his existence.

As the hot herbal drink soothed his aching throat (it was murder on the lungs to reprimand Remus so much), he indulged in his curiosity and closed his eyes. With a practised concentration, he mentally reached out for the false words that had sounded his silent alarm.

It was Patton’s voice. The version of Patton’s voice that Janus had deemed “daddy dialect” in the recent weeks. ‘Nothing will change, sweetheart.’

Janus scoffed.

The lies he was so accustomed to hearing spanned the breadth of significance, from inconsequential white lies (‘I don’t know who finished your Crofter’s jam, Logan.’) to really outrageous fabrications.

Within the past two months, he had heard quite the abundance of silly fibs. Even in the space of a fortnight, some truly ridiculous ones had stuck in his mind:

‘I don’t need dinner!’

‘I-I’m older now. I can do this on my own.’

‘It was a purely tactical approach.’

‘Three, two, one, blow! … You did it!’

It seemed almost every lie spoken by the self-proclaimed “Light Sides” nowadays was riddled with either petulance or condescension. (That is, Janus thought with a roll of his mismatched eyes, at least notably more than was usual for them.) The reason behind it was not lost on him. He may not have been the designated logical side, but it would take an absolute dunce to miss the cues on what exactly was happening in the others’ household; Logan and Patton had evidently taken on caregiving roles for Virgil and, unexpectedly - though perhaps it should not have been, given his childishness - Roman.

Janus had had his suspicions of such after walking in on the household spending time together a month previously. Given how fiercely protective Logan had been of the others and the way Patton had hidden the two younger sides behind himself, it would be hard to ignore the shift in their dynamic. Though the confirmation of it through listening in to the others’ unwitting lies had come as quite an unpleasant shock to Janus, nonetheless.

Every day he sensed silly fibs. The one earlier about baby giggles being a legal requirement under baby law had been… not endearing, per se (that yellow pulse again), but perhaps interesting. Though none of the nonsense he had been alerted to in the past few weeks came close to the idiocy of ‘Nothing will change, sweetheart.’

How self-assured. How naïve. How reminiscent of Janus’ own foolish thoughts all those years ago.

He sighed, lowering his mug to the table and running his cold fingertips idly over the burning hot ceramic. It was not that Janus was jealous (he ignored the faint swell of yellow in the corner of his vision) but rather that he felt an uncomfortable bubble of remorse in his chest, growing and stretching and forcing its way against his ribs.

As he had done countless times before, he wondered what things would have been like had he behaved differently when the youngest side was still part of his household. Had he been more understanding of Virgil’s behaviours. More accepting.

Well, as Patton’s lie had brought up such aching memories, Janus decided a tad more bittersweet self-indulgence would be fitting for the night.

He rose from his seat, tucked the chair back under the table, and slinked through the house fluidly. He thanked his serpentine side for allowing him to practically float up the stairs and through the hallway without making a sound. If either of the other two residents heard him and decided to leave their rooms for a chat, Janus would not be held responsible for whatever unsavoury greeting he may bestow upon them.

A vile feeling clawed at his throat as he neared the perpetually closed door of Virgil’s old bedroom.

With a sharp, short sigh that might have been at least partly a hiss, Janus pushed the heavy door open. The neglected hinges creaked.

Beams of cold light from the hall flooded through the gap of the opening doorway, making visible a thin segment of the abandoned room.

It was unmarred by dirt, slime, blood, or any other disgusting substance, thankfully. Janus had to give credit to Remus. As non-existent as that side’s impulse control was, he had managed to spare this single room from his various antics and pranks at Janus’ sincere request.

The room was entirely unchanged from how it had been left years ago. Small, dotted stains on the walls showed where blu-tac used to hold up punk band posters. Splotches of black on the carpet by the old dresser showed where liquid eyeliner was spilt too many times. Black cotton bedsheets (which now appeared grey with their faint layer of dust) were pulled taut over the mattress where they had only ever used to be in constant, rumpled disarray at a certain someone’s stubborn refusal to make the bed.

Janus gripped the doorframe tightly, clenching his jaw against his growing feeling of unease.

Being a “Dark Side” came with an appreciation of all things, well, dark. True crime stories were common conversation material at dinner, movie nights featured more than anyone’s fair share of fake blood (not always on screen, mind you; Remus had to have some fun once in a while, after all), and family bonding time consisted of debates on the darkest secrets of society and an abundance of teasing of each others’ insecurities and fears - all in good fun, of course. (Though, when Virgil had finally left for good that fateful day with tears streaming down his cheeks, Janus had been forced to reconsider what “good fun” really meant to them.)

As it was, Janus was accustomed to seeing and hearing things meant to turn stomachs, race hearts, and scramble minds. He shrugged at the majority of them and scoffed at the rest. But gazing upon this empty room - the physical embodiment of his failure as a parental figure - was the closest he thought he could truly be to feeling horrified.

Janus’ insides twisted and pulled so much every time his eyes wandered over the sealed doorway, that he had seriously considered asking that Remus follow through on his threats to disembowel him and relieve him of his agony.

Bile had not yet risen in his throat, so Janus considered today to be a good one to bring himself to peek at the old bedside table - or rather what lay upon it.

Once cluttered with makeup products, tangled headphones, and herbal anxiety remedies, the surface now lay mostly bare. Save for a single soft toy slumped across it limply.

The blue stuffed rabbit was a ghastly thing. It was missing an eye, one of its limbs was stretched far longer than the others (probably as a result of its owner’s nervous tugging which was otherwise directed onto his hoodie sleeves), and one of its ears was half-chewed to tatters (another nervous habit of its owner, no doubt). Despite its ratty appearance, the thing was harmless. Such an unassuming object, so innocent.

And yet it brought tears to Janus’ eyes.

He had never even learned the name of the damned thing and wasn’t it utterly ridiculous that Janus, the unofficial leader of the “Dark Sides”, was blubbering over a made-up name for an inanimate object?

It had not mattered to him before. It had made no difference to him what Virgil had named it or how much he had cared about it. Janus had metaphorically and mercilessly turned the thing into a weapon that day. With his careless tongue, he had twisted its existence from an item of comfort and attachment into a source of ridicule and hurt. It was no wonder Virgil had left it behind. It had been tainted.

Janus winced at a sudden sting in his lower lip. He had bitten into it again. One would have thought having fangs would convince someone to be more careful of such a habit. 

Delicately dabbing at a drop of cool blood at the corner of his mouth, Janus sighed shakily. That was quite enough emotional torment for one evening.

He released the old bedroom door and let it fall shut. It had barely thudded against the doorframe when that grating, obnoxious sound trilled from the bane of Janus’ existence.

‘What’s up, Jannothy?’

‘Remus,’ Janus greeted with an exaggerated eye roll. It was only partly to rid his eyes of their wetness. ‘What a pleasant surprise.’ Yellow tinted his left eye.

The distinctive scent of burnt paper met his nose. With a jolt of dread, Janus turned to see Remus half-caked in soot. He just about managed to contain a scream. It would have only invited one of Remus’ much-loved screeching competitions.

‘I see you’ve been in the library,’ Janus sighed. ‘Tell me, just how many of my books were charred beyond repair this time?’

Remus blew his cheeks out in a massive exhale, looking up to the ceiling in thought. As the warm breath wafted over his face, Janus was careful to breathe through his mouth.

‘Oh, only about half of them,’ Remus sang then cackled joyously for a short while. ‘But you’ll be glad to hear I sculpted the ashes into the shape of a nine-foot-long decapitated aardvark!’

Janus shut his eyes, shaking his head lightly. He hadn’t the energy to pander to Remus’ whims of fancy. ‘Good night, Remus.’

He silently slipped past the other side in the direction of his room.

‘But it’s only seven!’

‘I’m half cat.’ Yellow again.

‘Jan - wait,’ Remus called behind him, and the incongruous hesitance in his voice gave Janus pause.

He twisted his body back, surprised by the incredibly rare sincerity in the furrow of Remus’ brow.

‘All right. You have my undivided attention,’ Janus drawled, making a point to hold up his hand and inspect his nails thoroughly. He smirked at the yellow tint of his vision.

‘You seem bummed out,’ Remus whined, ‘and the role for resident bum is filled out by me already.’

Janus rolled his eyes again. At this rate, he would get vertigo.

‘So, are you, y���know… okay?’ Remus asked quietly. (Really, what an oxymoron that was.)

Something hard and hot clogged Janus’ throat and he swallowed thickly around it. He dropped his hand and swiftly looked up to meet Remus’ eyes.

‘Yes,’ Janus said in an entirely even tone, ‘I am perfectly fine. Now, if you will excuse me.’

He spun away and marched down the narrow hallway, keeping his gait steady. It was quite a feat, considering the fact he was half-blinded by a bright yellow glare.

oOo

Reblogs and likes are greatly appreciated! ♡

AO3 link 

TAGLIST (you can send an ask or message to be added for future fics!)

@tearful-babi

[the-citrus-scale]

All The Feels: Jopper

Does any ship give us as many feels as Jopper? Is that even possible? After that third season finale, probably not.

Just in case you haven’t gotten around to watching Stranger Things yet, Jopper is the ship name for Joyce Byers and Chief Jim Hopper. It’s not surprising that they became so popular when you consider that the cast of the show is more kid than adult. And they’re the two who get the most screen time, and shipping them together is most certainly appropriate because of age.

But it’s not just convenience that gets our Jopper feels going. Jopper is a literal roller coaster of emotions from beginning to end. You get a little bit of everything. Happiness, laughter, enemies-to-lovers, being disaster parents together, unrequited love, adventure, cosplay, and angst. Did we mention the angst? We should, because there’s a lot of it. We know some of you love that even more than fluff, so let’s just say that this is the right ship for you. We also get our very own backseat shipper in Murray Bauman, who finally said everything we’d been wanting to say to Jopper in this latest season. And Winona Ryder and David Harbour, who play Joyce and Hopper respectively, are all in on this ship too. Even if we wanted to give up on it, they keep egging us on, making us think that it’s possible. All in all, it’s a pretty great place for a shipper to be in.

It’s easy to see why we as fans believe that Jopper should be endgame. From the beginning, Joyce and Hopper are two of the only adults who understand what’s really happening in Hawkins. They have the same goal: to protect the kids. After the dust settles each season, they’re really the only ones they can turn to to talk through everything that’s happened. They understand the gravity of the events of their lives and each other. They also both have pretty tragic backstories. Joyce left an abusive relationship with her ex. Hopper lost his daughter to illness and then got divorced. We want them to be happy, and we think that they could do that for each other. We believe they can forgive each other for their past faults, embrace their crazy personalities, and somehow make it through together. Or, at the very least, they can be miserable together. It’s always more fun with company, right?

One of the best things about shipping Jopper, though, is the slow burn. As much as we want them together, we can’t deny how fun it’s been watching them not be together. Even when she was dating someone else and dashing all of our shipping dreams, Joyce risked her life to save Hopper, making us collectively scream in anguish about how they should totally be together. Then when we thought that Hopper would be the perfect person to bring her back into the dating game after the gruesome death of her boyfriend, we groaned because their encounters were more like a weird PTA meeting than a romance. When were these two going to figure it out already? Maybe never. These kind of fandom feels make us flop very dramatically, and that is what we like.

But, of course, nothing is better than seeing the ship you want actually materialize. Eventually, we can’t stand that slow burn anymore because it will literally kill us. During the recent third season, Jopper shippers rejoiced everywhere as Hopper finally asked Joyce out on a date. Well. Sort of. He wanted it to be a date. But he made sure to tell her it wasn’t, because he didn’t want to scare her off. Then things took a weird and strangely satisfying turn as our favorite pair started to be more enemies-to-lovers than anything else. Seriously. There was a lot of yelling. It became clear that our two favorites were dancing around their mutual attraction, and we started to despair as we wondered if they would give us even the smallest amount of satisfaction before this season was over.

Then a shipping godmother appeared. Murray Bauman, because who better to tell these two what was what than an investigative reporter, gave a spectacular speech that essentially told these two to slut up or shut up. We loved it, because he couldn’t have been more right. Joyce and Hopper finally made up, made a real date, and were ready to sail into the sunset.

But, as often happens on Stranger Things, tragedy stuck. Hopper is gone. Joyce moved away. All of our shipping hopes and dreams have crashed into the reef, and we are flotsam on the waves. Fandom, amirite? Though rumors say that Hopper might not be dead, an equal amount of rumors say that he really is, so everything is really up in the air right now. And even though our hearts are broken, we’re hoping it’s only temporary. Because it’s the fandom way to go down with your ship, so we will cling to the bow of Jopper until the very end.

[witchfall]

Detroit: Become Human Fanfic Recs!

Some fanfics I’ve read that I recommend to you, a discerning reader. Many ships and characters featured below, including:

Connor character studies

Markus/Simon fluff + angst

Connor/Reader or OC classics

Standalone OC stories

Connor-centric stories

Connor: Become Deviant by @vyingvails Ongoing series

Deviancy is a glitch, an instability, a mutation in one’s software. It makes an android feel, think, live, despite it being just a machine that should be incapable of feelings. When an android believes it's more than that, a machine, it becomes a Deviant. It’s what Connor hunts for.

But that doesn't stop Connor from becoming one himself.

(A fic with a great exploration into canon by twisting it on its head early!! Read!!)

Not Quite Electric Sheep by @janisilverstorm One-shot

Androids don’t sleep. Not even deviants. But they do have to process: run diagnostics, allow for the cool down of systems, sort and store memories. After countless life-and-death scenarios, Connor’s programs certainly have a lot of material to work with. But sometimes all those new emotions can make processing… difficult. 

(Great Hank interaction! Great exploration into Connor psyche!!)

My Name is Connor, I’m... by @janisilverstorm Ongoing series

He had only ever been a machine taking orders, and now he's got emotions and this strange restlessness that won't leave him alone and really he'd just like for things to make sense. Unfortunately, the world has a nasty habit of not giving you what you want.

(Connor struggling through some Really Tough Times. CW for some implied torture, but a good examination into his thoughts and where he’d be post-game as well.)

The Price of Deviancy by @caitlynmellark

A one shot of Connor experiencing a minor memory of his past due to seeing Markus's friend, Simon, who happens to have the model of a very familiar face.

(CONNORRR AND DANIEL MEMORIESSS)

~~~~

Jericho-centric stories (all characters)

The Jericho Discord by @rk-deviant-800 Ongoing series

North has started a discord for Jericho and all hell is about to break loose.

(A funny fic reflecting the real chaos that can happen in a Discord server. Fluffy, fun and easy to read, so great if you need a palette cleanser from all these angst stories!!)

~~~~

Markus/Simon stories

Ticklish by @trashcanofobsessions One-shot

Just a oneshot based off my headcanon that a lot of caretaker androids, specifically the ones that deal with kids, are programmed with being ticklish, cause kids love that stuff.

(EXTREMELY CUTE ONE-SHOT!!)

Liberty Listening by @trashcanofobsessions Ongoing series

Simon finds himself hopelessly in love with this newcomer. Strangely enough, the newcomer starts to feel the same way.

(You want some canon-compliant excellent Markus/Simon content? I gotchu.)

Clear Skies by @markus-manfreds

Markus doesn't know how to live a life while knowing all the things he's lost. | Simon doesn't know how to show him that he still has things worth living for.

(Post-canon, fluff AND angst. Markus struggling with all that he knows...yes.)

~~~~

Markus/North

The Junkyard by @caitlynmellark One-shot

It is a small little one shot of Markus experiencing PTSD after the Junkyard. A discord I am in spoke a lot about it & we decided that Markus would definitely have PTSD after such a traumatic experience. We wish Quantic Dream covered it in more detail, but that is what fanfics are for, right?

(Yes! It is!!)

~~~~

Connor/Reader or OC

A coffee a day... by @thenervousmedic

Connor has made a habit out of going to your Coffee shop every morning to get Hank a Coffee, unlike every other time he finally notices the look in your eyes when you stop to stare at him while working.

(What started as cute fluff now has a really fascinating plot as well! Check it out!)

earth is warmer when you laugh by @the-darklings

In the end all you need is warmth.

(A classic of the genre. Kat is a great writer, check it out and her other works!)

Deviant Behavior by @precursorao3

You’ve complained about walking the beat in Detroit for years. Petty crimes, protests, no real action...

So when Captain Fowler gave you orders to respond to a hostage situation, you couldn’t resist. And then you got shot, only to be saved by the android sent by CyberLife…

(ANOTHER classic of the genre, and possibly the most well-known. Can’t make a DBH fic list without this, honestly! Well-written and researched.)

---(SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION AHEAD)---

the silver lining still remains by ME

The Detroit Volunteer Corps does what it can to pick up the pieces of a city setting a new path. Emma Ibori, resident carpenter, builds things to keep the thoughts at bay.

Connor thinks he has a handle on what it means to be alive. But he can barely see through the guilt for all the things he didn’t know -- or barely understand what it means to be a friend just because you can be.

Then a case of disappearances strikes too close to home. And everything shifts again.

(I wrote it. I get to be on the list. *tongue face*! If you enjoy self-indulgent romance fics with a plot, I gotchu babeyyy)

~~~~

Connor/Reader/Markus

Justice and Freedom by @write-to-write-amirite

Y/n, a half human/half android who helps repair and fix other androids finds themselves in a predicament when the fight between androids and humans becomes more apparent each day. They come across those who seek freedom, and others who seek justice. How will y/n react when those two get in the way of her helping others?

(Great premise! Cool plot! Read!!)

~~~

OC stories

Building a Home: a Detroit Side Story by @artsyneurotic

Deviancy among androids is on the rise. We know the tales of Markus, Connor, and Kara in this tumultuous time, but how are other androids dealing with this deviancy? And for that matter, how are the humans?

This is a smaller, more intimate tale of an architect and an android, and the unlikely circumstances in which their newfound connection grows in this increasingly turbulent atmosphere....

(It even comes with its own art! Extremely charming start to this story and I’m already invested in what happens to this pair!! read!!)

[zevakritpel]

k but switch haikise (˵ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°˵)

so reversible haikise is my kink what can i say

seriously though i think about this a lot

like initially zaki would be all

i gotta dominate and humiliate and just generally torment ~ryota~ because of my massive kise complex bad egginess

and kise just

"lmao ok there shougo kun"

cause lbr here kise's a fake bitch that's only sweet when it suits him

god bless his gemini soul

and this rlly gets to haizaki

so maybe they bang a couple times

maybe haizaki was expecting a clingy desperate crybaby kise

and instead GETS AN ICE COLD RECEPTION

lmao isn't this what you wanted, shougo kun?

SO OFC THAT'S A DIRECT HIT TO HIS PRIDE

then, the colder kise is to him, the more his obsession grows

starts developing ~feels~ (not that he can admit it for like 900000 gorillion years tho)

so presistent shougo kun~ if i didn't know better, i'd think you were a masochist too ;^)

haizaki "masochist parading as sadist" shougo, coupled with kise "ultimate sadomasochist" ryota

perfect couple amirite

bullying kise gets zaki hard but

being bullied by kise gets him OFF

amirite

ok these are just my thoughts and i no know one cares, like lbr here the last post in the haikise tag in the past 5ever was my inane textpost trying to figure out how to best start writing this ^^^^ material into a proper fic

i wanna go long fic with this, lots of angst, lots of spicy but idk

hmu on the off chance that you are a real live human being that wants to discuss knb, or anything

#out