#so no idea if my point reads at all. not my responsibility tho i am just here to post nonsense

[celestial-toys]

been laying here listening to Lucky by Dermot Kennedy on loop for half an hour while thinking about Everything Stays and crying

[nonbinarygamzee]

its ok if you dont like the clown much as i find that to be a very sad and dull existence i can understand it. but ive always been so fascinated watching the way that theres not much room in the fandomspace of homestuck to just not care about her. its always been so weird and hostile even to perceived neutrality and on a scale that just almost never transfers over to other characters. the unanimous not just distaste but anger she instills in people, to the point of breaking through the narrative and into the tangible, living up to the intent and function of her classpect far beyond the means of her story.

like it feels like the biggest dupe in the entirety of homestuck, that AH created a scapegoat character to be an inciting force of rage and everybody sure did take that bait without much awareness at all. its almost funny to me except that it created such an air of hostility that i still feel weird just talking on my personal little comic blog. and then its doubly not funny when you look at this character, made with the express purpose of pissing everybody off, and have to see the attributes that hussie has decided to Use for that function, Who he is saying these things about and for why. and the fans who proclaim equality and consciousness are so quick to latch their jaws into that and tear as soon as the most minimal levels of obfuscation make it easy to do so. and i have to stress minimal because what about gamzees coding is even subtle?

and its not even so much that i care about fandom or even that i want to keep rehashing the admittedly embarrassing amount of damage this space did to me personally that made me unable to stop talking about this shit. but i am just so interested in people and the ways we think and especially in how that relates to stupid shit i have stake in. and in a fandom thats been constantly grasping for reasons to be taken The Most seriously, to have The Smartest takes, its just very silly to me that nobody wants to sit back a little further and peer at it all as a whole, because if they did they might just get a little bit more of a look into how a piece of media wants to trick you into agreeing with it, and that a lot of the work to make this character so Bad and Hateable was work that hussie ultimately didnt even have to do because his readerbase was so willing to do it for them. i just think it says some things about biases.

[scented-morker]

Enhypen when you’re their Bite Me dance partner

Idol!enha x background dancer reader (they’re female, but I didn’t use any pronouns so can be read as gn) 945 words. ⚠️PSA: just bc idols interact with the other gender doesn’t mean it’s romantic and I am in no way trying to imply that!! This is fanfiction and shouldn’t be taken too seriously!! ⚠️

Heeseung

No because when you first meet him he seems so calm and polite and you’re like “wow this is gonna work out so well”

Because even tho he’s super hot (hello?) He’s not trying to use it on you

But we’re all very familiar with the switch up when he starts performing

suddenly he’s smirking and holding eye contact and just 😳

You feel like you might need to go take a lap and cool off

HAVE YOU SEEN THAT PART IN THE SECOND VERSE WHERE LIKE HE GRABS HIS DANCERS HANDS DOWN HIS CHEST??? (1:39 in the 230602 mubank performance 🫣)

He chills out eventually but the first time he literally made you run your hands down his chest 🫠🫠🫠

“You know you can touch me right?”

He notices your hesitant movements and literally grabs your hands to put them on his neck 🥵

“See that wasn’t so hard was it?” bark bark bark bark bark

Jay

Literally SO respectful

When you guys meet for the first time he goes out of his way to get to know you because he doesn’t want it to be awkward when you start dancing

He keeps it up later too, he always asks “is this okay?” before putting his hands on your back or anything (even when you’ve run the song fifty times)

Every time you come back on stage he gives you a little wink 🫠

And everytime you do the like dip/lean back thing he makes silly faces at you when you come back up 😭

So all the fancams are trying to figure out why you’re laughing in the middle of the dance 😔

Jake

Okay because he’s a flirt and he knows that he should keep it professional with you but you’re just so pretty 🥹 he can’t help it

You notice how he always seems to be touching you a little longer than everyone else

Like Jake the choreographer stopped everyone five minutes ago why are you still holding on 🤨

Always acts like he’s gonna drop you when you lean back in that one part (I hope you know what I’m talking about)

Like he’ll have his hands on your waist and then let go just to watch you drop and then catch you again

(He thinks your angry face is cute when the song ends and you smack him for it)

Bites his lip EVERYTIME on the part where you touch his chin 🫣

Sunghoon

He’s so awkward I’m sorry 😭😭

Like you’re ready to start dancing and make your choreographer proud but he’s really making it hard

You can tell he doesn’t love the idea of touching you (rude 😐) so you try to go a little easier on him

You just lay your hands on him instead of grabbing or anything, and you don’t lean as far back bc he’s not actually holding your waist he’s just putting his hand in front of it 😭

But then the choreographer yells at him because he’s gonna end up dropping you so he has to actually touch you

“Uh is this okay? Where- where should I?”

You try not to laugh at his bashfulness, grabbing his hand and putting it on your waist

“You have to support my back right here okay? Don’t let me fall.”

BUT HES THE ONE WHO FELL (for you) 🤭🤪🤩

Sunoo

Literally made you feel instantly comfortable, he has the least threatening aura ever

He was all “hi! I’m sunoo!! I can’t wait to dance with you 🥰😁”

And you were like ☺️

At one point when you guys had marked it a few times, not actually doing the partner stuff you looked at him and went “are you sure you can hold me up?”

It’s not like he had to hold all of your body weight but like dang you needed some support ya know, and he just moved so gently that you were a little suspicious

This offended him immensely of course, and he picked you up right then and there

Just threw you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes

“Yeah, I’ll be okay”

okayyyyyyyyyy 🥵

Jungwon

Slow burn x100 bc he’s a responsible and professional leader 👏

He asked Niki about how to better dance with a partner because he didn’t have any experience with it and wants to make sure he does a good job 🥹 (my baby)

He is DETERMINED to make this choreography perfect, and is not afraid to correct you

“Make sure you actually touch my chest when you do that, it doesn’t look as good when you just pretend.”

Okay Jungwon 🤭 I’m sure that’s why 🤭

When he starts really performing with facials and everything you’re literally losing it 😭

Like face burning bright red, what happened to the cute guy you were dancing with for the last month why is he staring into your soul mid dance

One time he touched your knee while you did the like drag up by their chin move and you literally had to take a walk

Riki

He knows what he’s doing okay?

Like I said previously, he’s the only one with experience in partner dancing

So you were worried at first that he’d be shy because you knew he was the youngest one

But then the first time you ran the song together he grabbed your waist and dropped you so low your ponytail wiped the floor 😭😭

He makes SO MUCH eye contact you literally are on the verge of combusting

When the boys point it out he says it’s because he has to watch you to make sure you don’t need anything because that’s what good observant partners do (boys a liarrr)

Since you’re one of the ones that has to start on the ground he always put his jacket on the ground during practice so you wouldn’t hurt your back/shoulders 😭😭

[do-you-have-a-flag]

sorry to come back to this but this truly fascinates and concerns me for so many reasons

obligatory "Ah sweet. Man-made horrors beyond my comprehension." comment

so first of all: brain organoids. which are grown from human stem cells into just little brains with underdeveloped eyes, they have a lifespan of about 100 days because they are an organ without a system.

these brain organoids are something that have a lot of potential when it comes to studying any number of things. just off the top of my head i would think- the process of human development, disease studies, healing tissue development, foetal and premature development of consciousness, ect ect ect i'm not informed on this type of research so i will freely admit idk.

and they are using 16 at a time as processors with computer chips. okay sure, scifi aside, the structure of an organ being used for it's complexity compared to the limitations of material and efficiency in current technology makes sense. if it helps imagine if a branch or a kidney were hooked up to a computer chip and we found out that it worked as good or better than mechanical processors for a fraction of the energy use. i am also not informed on how most technology works, please keep in mind, but i am also not opposed to the idea of combining these types of technologies in theory. and the biggest downfall currently is short shelf-life of the organoids required.

but the thing is, i think, that this is specifically an early development of a brain, at what point is consciousness defined? there is no sensory system beyond the basic light perception of the eyes and the input to the brain but at what point is the responses automatic and at what point is it complex enough to be aware in some abstract way. this question is one that can be applied to any form of animal of course.... but i think also that it is strange that these organoids are being specifically developed from human stem cells and not any number of other animal as a brain is a brain and at the small scale they are growing these organoids most of the speculative benefits of human logic are irrelevant- they are operating at pre mature infant levels which could just as easily be achieved by any number of apes cells surely?

is there going to be a developmental cut off for these organoids? at what point of biological development is the ethical ick factor for consciousness? because of how stem cells are able to be harvested in a non destructive fashion things like lab grown meat make sense to me- those are consumed but can also offset the requirements for the meat industry- and if these organoids are also grown from stem cells that's great but at what point is making that many to be burnt through as processors a wasteful use when there are other possible avenues of study? the wide commercial release of such experimental tech seems a little risky considering how quickly new technologies are exploited- just look at bitcoin farms and ai scraping- for the sake of profit with no care for ethical implementation or construction or impact.

this is a weird post from me but sorry i just have some questions i want you the person reading this to think about with me, seperate to any deep reading of the science because i wanna focus on the personal reaction to the concepts, (feel free to read the science tho i encourage it) just something to chew on i'm not expecting any philosophically concrete answers:

would you use the brain organoid processor tech if you had the chance?

why?

Why is it important that these have to be grown from human stem cells

where is the line between organ and being/consciousness

let's contend: there is the world (physical) and there is the senses (contact with the physical) and there is the experience (interpretation)

is it the senses or the experience that makes a creature conscious? how complex do the senses need to be before the experience is positive or negative?

where is that experiencial definition? is it as simple as feels good feels bad?

is it the tendency to circulate repeatedly on the same neural pathway? how are those neurological reactions controlled? are they controlled?

how do you feel about scientific testing on humans?

how do you feel about scientific testing on animals?

how do you feel about scientific testing on plants?

how do you feel about scientific testing on fungi?

how do you feel about scientific testing on single celled organisms?

how do you feel about scientific testing on organs?

how do you feel about scientific testing on technology?

what do you consider the line to be for ethical research? is it funding? is it theory versus practice? is it use of information? is it method of data collection? is it intent? is it implementation? is it within a limitation of precedent? is it within a limitation of subject? are there areas you think should be left alone on principle? why?

what level of complexity is required for the question of consent of participant?

where should limitations be imposed on use? why would limitations be necessary? who has the right to information? who has the right to profit?

Who is profiting from these studies? where will this technology be used? who is competing with this technology? what other technologies might this impact? will other technologies using the same concept adhere to the same limitations/ethics?

do you think everyone using the brain organoid based processors for $500pcm are thinking about these questions? should they have to?

disclaimer: i am uneducated and uninformed in the fields of science and technology so this is one hundo percent a personal response to information i have very little context for. But i also think it's important to think actively about technology and avoid complacency about the way it impacts our lives so doing little thought exercises in response to articles like this is, I think, a good thing.

[lloydfrontera]

what do you think llojavi's child will be? I love reading your hc.

mmhhh i never really stopped to think about it tbh! kid fics aren't really my go-to and i'm terrified of having children myself so it's not something i tend to explore with my ships

but if i had to have a hc for them... i think they'd have a lot of children. all of them adopted.

it just makes sense for them as characters imo! they are both deeply compassionate individuals who know what it's like to lose both parents and know how much it means to be brought in to a loving family. they know.

they wouldn't be able to come across a child who needs what they received at one point and look away.

that plus lloyd is an only child, he always wanted a little sibling and was absolutely delighted to get julian, i think once he gets over the instinctual fear of "oh god what the fuck am i doing i don't know how to be a father" and is more comfortable in his role as parent he wouldn't be able to resist the idea of having a bunch of kids running around their home. i'm thinking maybe four. probably six. no more than eight.

but. i do think the first kid would be javier's fault.

in one of those rare occasions he's not glued to lloyd's side, he'd go out to run some errands or something and then come back with a semi-terrified look on his face and a far-too-small-for-their-age kid in his arms.

lloyd just,,, stares at them for a little bit before taking the kid and charge of the situation. he's never really had any experience with kids but they're just,,, people. in tiny. he knows people, he can work with that. his friendly and straightforward demeanor immediately wins over the child, making him relax and open up in a way that javier's warm but stilted demeanor weren't quite able to.

i'm thinking a four or five year old, just to really hammer down the parallels between javier and him. very tiny. with dark hair and dark eyes. the kind of features that don't really stand out in a crowd.

i think the two of them would think it's just something temporary, just until they find someone more suitable to raise a kid, a good family that could take him in.

neither of them really mentions the idea of keeping the child, at first because it's not even a possibility but then as the weeks pass by because they're just too wary of disrupting the routine they unconscionably created and actually having to take a decision about it.

but then one morning javier looks over during breakfast and there's lloyd pilling all sorts of food into the kid's plate, chatting him up the entire time, playfully teasing him into eating everything he can, the two of them very solemnly haggling and bargaining over just how many vegetables he has to eat in every meal and a wave of pure love and affection rushes through him and he realizes that. oh. he wants this to last forever.

he doesn't mention it tho. he knows lloyd has always talked about having an easy, relaxed life, free of any concerns and burdens. and raising a child is not an easy responsibility. spending the rest of his life at lloyd's side already feels like more than he deserves, he won't selfishly asks for more than lloyd is willing to give.

he will just enjoy however long this lasts and hope the separation won't hurt as much as he's bracing himself for.

meanwhile lloyd caught javier with the kid on top of him napping on a sunbeam like two weeks ago, both of them completely sprawled out and dead to the world, except when they unconsciously moved to chase the moving sunlight and then he immediately decided he was gonna keep this. them. all of it.

he already reached his limit on how many times he can lose his family. he's no longer letting anything else keep him from hoarding his loved ones like a dragon with their treasure.

and he's terrified to admit it but the pipsqueak has already burrowed his way into his heart and now heaven help the soul that tries to take him away from lloyd. he's not above biting.

that's precisely why he doesn't bring it up with javier because,,, he really doesn't know what would happen if javier isn't on board with the plan. he's not selfish enough to make a decision like this for the both of them but he really doesn't think he can give the kid up anymore.

so he just. doesn't say anything. he continues with the routine they've made and hopes time will be enough to make javier fall for the child the same way lloyd did already.

and then this goes on for a couple weeks because these two are terrible and i love them for it. but this is like. not great. it actually kind of really sucks for them but also for the child

it all comes crashing down when the poor kid breaks down on them at some point because someone told him they were giving him away and, hey, turns out, not telling a child who's been left on the streets to survive by himself what's the plan for them because you're too busy worrying your partner won't be on board with keeping him is not a great idea! because he's gonna be lowkey fretting about what will happen to him and ultimately freak out at the slightest suggestion that he's being abandoned again! who would've thought!

they both immediately try to comfort him but they can't get to the bottom of his fears and actually give him reassurance because they don't know if they can promise him anything because they don't know what the other is thinking.

that is until they make eye contact in the middle of comforting him and it's one of those perfect moments where they're in total sync and can have entire conversations with just one look. and they realize how stupid they've been. because of course the other also wanted the same thing. of course they would want to give this child the very same thing they've received from their loved ones. how could've they ever doubted that.

after that is just really a matter of convincing the kid that of course they're not giving him away, he's staying right there with them, they can be his family now if that's what he wants. which isn't really hard because apart from this one communication issue they have actually been pretty good improvised parents to the squirt. and now that they know for sure they will be his parents forever, they try even harder to be better.

so that's how they adopt their first child.

i could go into detail about the rest of the kids are adopted but. that would make for an even longer post and this is already way more than i wanted to write askjhdkss

this is,,, really not what you asked for but it's what came out when i sat down to answer this ask, so like. i hope you still like it nonnie and i'm really sorry 〒▽〒

[kleefkruid]

Hello, I hope this isn't an awkward or rude ask, feel free to ignore tho, but I've been tentatively interested in polyam, but more specifically being in a relationship with two partners I love and cherish. I've seen a lot of posts say that this isnt how polyam stuff works tho and I have no touch stone other than my own lovey dovey fantasies, but I know you're polyam and I figured I'd ask what I should think of and or expect out of a polyam relationship? How does it all work? I hope I explained what I mean well enough. Thank you for your time!

Hi! I'm assuming by the way you worded this you're talking about a triad, a relationship where you are dating two people and they're also dating each other.

I'm gonna go into a few points here 1. triads and their prevalence 2. unicorn hunting, what is it and why is everyone yelling 3. how to 'look for a 3rd' in a not-terrible way 4. a little something else about polyam relationship dynamics

Triads exist! But it's true that outsiders assume it's the standard, as you'll notice in pop culture most poly people are triads, and also here on tumblr as a fanfic trope it's also very prevalent.

But in reality triads are not too common simply for the sheer statistic probability. You have to find someone you like, they have to like you. You also have to find someone else you like who also likes you. Then that first person must also like your second person, and your second person must also like your first person! And then after all this, you have 3 relationships (you+b, you+c, b+c) and you still have to find a way to make the 4th relationship dynamic work (you+b+c). Personally, none of my partners or other people I was connected with, have dated other people I'd wanna date. It's usually people I think are cool, good looking and I want them in my life, but they're not people I wish to date. All triads I have spoken or read their stories have kind off stumbled into it. Usually someone was already dating person b, starts dating person c, and by happenstance person b and c do find this connection. So, it happens, it's great when it happens, but it's just not likely purely bc of chance.

2. When talking about this, I have to quickly get into unicorn hunters, because you will run into this term, and you have some overzealous polyam people who will throw this at any person walking into the scene (looking at you, certain message boards) You might think allright, I'll start with finding my person B, and together we'll look around until we find someone we both like! And this is a fine idea, truly (*I am pushing a yelling crowd away at this point*) but there is a certain type of couple that have made this method veeeeery unpopular (and are responsible for like, 90% of the shit polyam people get online), and you have to make sure you're not those people, and then you'll be fine. This specific kind of couple is what people mean when they use the term unicorn hunters. Scenario: You have a mono couple. Usually a straight man and a bisexual/curious woman. They decide they want to dip their toes into polyamory. No problems at this point, although going from mono to poly is a whole post on it's own. But the man doesn't want another man in the relationship, he like the idea of having two girlfriends though, and his girlfriend is interested in girls anyway, so let's look for a girlfriend for us both! This girl they are looking for is what is jokingly refered to as a unicorn. Because they're looking for a bisexual woman (already a specific subgroup) who is poly (again, upping the rarity) who likes them both, equially, and who likes to be barraged by two complete strangers who are like "hey do you want to date us both or maybe have a threesome and see where is goes" A lot of these couples can be to forward (hence the 'hunting' part), because they don't know the dynamics of the poly scene they walked in, but they're usually also not knowlegable about the basics of the queer scene. They're the couples that message lesbians, not seeing how that's fucked up. Often the girl will match with someone on lesbian tinder, who's often not even poly, mind you, and then go "by the way, this is my boyfriend, wanna have a threesome?" If someone enters a relationship with those two, they're often treated as an assesory, lower on the ladder, and they're not allowed to date other people. It's pretty much universally a bad experience for the so called unicorn. It's a stereotype sure, but it's a really fucking prevalent one and any poly person has run into them, every wlw, whether they're poly or not, will have to slap they away when they enter any online dating or even when just existing. So that's why just being a couple looking for a 3rd, even if you're being perfectly respectful (which again, possible) will get an aggressive response in poly cirlces, because we all get the flak that's meant for those people. Lot's of people, especially again mono lesbians, don't even want to associate with me when they hear I'm poly bc of these people, while we get ecually harassed, but in their eyes, that's what poly people are, even though they're misbehaving tourists at best.

3. Now, I have talked about probability, what you shouldn't do, but this leaves the question, what should you do?

Firstly, take it easy, what needs to happen will happen. If you're interested in being polyam, just start with that. Dip your toes into the water without having a route or destination mapped out. If you get a better feel about how it is to be polyam and what the dynamics are like, it will be easier to figure out if being poly is something you want to really get into, and what you want from it. It's a learning process like anything is. Mono peoples first dating will differ wildly to the long term relationship they're in years later. It's just like that, again.

Practical, finding people. I recommend looking on poly specific dating websites. I met my current partner on feeld. The fun thing about feeld is that you can connect your current partners profile to yours. So you're matching people on your own, but you can be like: this is my other partner btw. Feeld is open for both people looking on their own, or couples. And people communicate in their bio what kind of thing they're after. You can also connect your partner for funsies without looking for a 3rd, the connected profiles I see are about 50/50. There are other poly or poly-friendly apps but I have not tried them so you'll have to ask around about those!

tinder: If you make a profile for yourselves just start with saying you're poly in your bio. If people give you shit after you were clear from the start, that's they're problem and they're just being an ass. If you're dating on your own, I would also mention this so people don't think some 2nd person will jump in after you match. I have succesfully dated on tinder as a poly person. I mentioned that I was poly, that I was dating one other person and that we were not looking for people together. I didn't have any mishaps with that. If you're dating and looking together: making a couple profile on tinder, I don't recommend, because again, people will take you for unicorn hunters even if you are not. If you're different genders you'll also get into the space of people who don't want to see you, like an m/f couple getting into a women only space. If you're a w/w couple or a m/m couple you can get into those spaces genreally, especially the mlm community is pretty open to open relationships (hehe) but be clear about what you're doing (start your bio with this) and leave people alone who aren't looking for poly/threesomes/whatever. People who are open to this will usually communicate this clearly. (I'm just talking about men and women here and not going into any kind of gender fluidity bc let's be real there's no dating website that has an ideal system in place when you're non-binary, so that's a bit of a case by case situation) If you're dating and looking together nr. 2: Don't walk up to strangers in bars. Just don't do it. Plain. Simple. You can meet irl people, but don't do it with this intent.

4. about polyam dynamics.

When you get into poly dating, you'll discover more relation dynamics (I get into solo-poly and relationship anarchy here, look into that). You'll figure out that a hinge relationship, like this:

is also a relationship between 3 people. You're not all romantically involved, but all relationships (family/friends/romance) are equially worthwile, and sometimes the lines will blur. I have friends I love a bit, I have friends I have sex with, I have friends I'll never have sex with. I'll love a metamour (partner of my partner) for the love they give my partner, but I don't want to date them. Maybe someday I'll have a metamour I do want to date. You can also have 3 people who all are dating each other, but do it sperately and don't want to turn it into a relationship between all 3 of them together. You have people who form a family and live together, but not all of them date each other. You have people who'll always live alone regardless of the people they're dating; Everything is possible, if you just communicate clearly and have the maximum respect for everyone involved.

I hope this little 1.0.1 thing was a bit helpful to you, if you have any more questions feel free to ask. It's a wide subject that can (and has) filled entire books but I'll try to give an intro as good as I can

[angelicyoongie]

hi ^^

I'm finally more concretely baaaack!! & I finally found time to properly dedicate to your amazing work!!

how are u doing? summer basically finishing so I hope you'll enter last days of summer/early autumn well rested, healthy & w/ no regrets <333

I finally caught up to Abundance & i'm soooo happyyy, i've missed this fic soo much xd

every ch left me w/ so many thoughts, sooo much excitement & just an overall sense of satisfaction at how smooth & rewarding your writing style & narration style are!

so i may ramble a lil bit abt it now if u don't mind XD (u don't have to read all of it or reply btw, no pressure ;D )

1st of all i wanna recognise how usually it's harder to keep tabs on multiple characters, even more if they are all important & heavily involved in the plot (esp in ff that are poly or w/ multiple different kinds of relationships & relations between characters ) but you've done nothing but a great job at handling this! each character gets their time, their moments, their own space & pace for development & involvement in the plot & it all feels very balanced!

definetely not in order '^^

i also wanna scream at the idea of the pack-mark?? i thought i loved already the hybrid concept but this just elevated it o the next level! & the difference in the mark being platonic or romantic & it being also different from the concept of mate-mark?? i can't wait to see how this puzzle piece fits into the canines arrangement in the future

returning to the 1st point, to strenghten my love w/ your writing style there's also the way u write the mc!! istg i'm this close to start crushing on her instead lmaoo. no but the way u wrote her feels way more natural & genuine than an air-head type or a perfect-never-makes-mistakes literal angel type, she feels like an actual proper developed character that is human & obvi makes mistakes but that is also a good person that has a pretty strong sense of responsability/duty, is very mature & level headed (finally an mc that doesn't behave/think like a 12 y.o lmao). i love how even tho she still learning & doesn't know everything already, she always tries to take the better choice either based on her judgement or by seeking to learn more abt the hybrids by asking them directly, w/out shame or fear to ask them abt themselves & hybrids in general.

wrds cannot emphasize enough how grateful i am that she’s not simply just flustered all the time & getting ping-ponged by the guys, she is her own person 1st & takes srsly her own responsibilities & actually wants to treat them as just any other human person while also accommodating & recognising their diff hybrid needs instead of just being all a condescending “omg, they’r so hot, omg their so cute” all the time. she wants to learn & respect their natural instincts & doesn’t fault them 4 having them but also wants them to wrk through the ones that may be harmful to others around them.

onto the last point above, i can't help but appreciate the constant in the story of hybrids not being able to simply wish away their strongest instincts or miraculously gain control over them simply bc of their love 4 mc’s .NO, there is an actual learning curve & episodes of dealing w/ shame,guilt & sense of helplessness, of predators feeling uncomfortable at feeling or having felt certain instincts as their relations w/ the preys change & evolve( as an example)

but at the same time in the build up of the story, the hybrids instincts are never used as plot device to excuse/justify actions that cross the limit (incidents/hybrid on hybrid crimes, agression, violence & the fact that even tho jin & jk were in rut/pre-rut, they were still adamant abt respecting mc boundaries & consent & not " get their way" & simply blame it on “instinct”bs .-. that was refreshing to see lmao)

in your wrld building, i really love how u handled the characterisation of the roles of prey & predator in hybrids & didn't go w/ just usual/easier expected stereotypical depictions. even tho there’s a difference between predators & prey, they still clearly have a consciousness & an important inner emotional reaction at seeing 1st person the reality of prey hybrids, they’s not just animals & they’s not just jerks/assholes, they are actual ppl that had each their own struggles, traumas & lessons & that up until now where only used to relying on their pack to survive or themselves (case of rogues etc) & drive off anybody else to stay safe but not all of them would go out of their way to hurt prey hybrids, it depends on the personal level & not all of them will be swayed off their feet & fall head over heels for the 1st prey hybrid they interact w/, w/out even getting to know them & later trust them & develop normally a closeness to them.

talking abt trust...

after the nth hurt, esp the predators(namjoon,jimin) have learned to surround themselves w/ walls & to not get attached easily & it’s very interesting to see their different inner fights in trying to let go of that while also struggling w/ the need to still feel safe & in control, 2 things that ‘till now they got by keeping to themselves & to their packs.

& although there have been multiple instances in which nj starting doubting mc or started feeling that safety slip away & started pulling back, or jimin & the others were in denial to their own feelings & pull to get closer to other hybrids outside of the pack & lower their guard, after a pretty difficult process & many mistakes it’s slowly starting to happen!! at a pace that i’m sooooo glad u actually took time & effort to develop in a way that feels very natural & curated! i’m sure that it’s not easy to write like this at all & every ch is different & sometimes the wrds don’t feel right or they don’t come etc but i’m just so incredibly happy that u continued to persevere through that in this fic bc the results are a damn masterpiece!!

ALSO,TESTIMONY TO YOUR SHARP & AMAZING WRITING SKILLS:

i nearly lost my mind at your description of nj inner turmoil w/ primary colours(blue & yellow) that clash & then merge into his confused uncomfortable state (murky green) . i literally kept re-reading that part bc it was just sooo pretty 😭

...tumblr doesn't have yellow so let's just pretend XD

& the subtle hints & nj fear of repeated rejection? i’m not sure if maybe i’m interpreting it wrong & it’s not smth that he already had to deal in the past but i’m looking forward regardless.

& the way no part of the plot gets neglected?? hello? bc while all of this is going on w/ the hybrids, mc’s life outside of this bubble is taking turn after turn w/ her wrk & it’s getting sooo interesting,soo intriguing w/ all the dots connecting & the mystery getting bigger & more rabbit-holey😍😍😍

& can i just say that i never trusted hajoon from the beginning?!!! his reaction to mc saying they don’t investigate money laundering bc it’s more of a “officer/investigator” job & him finding it amusing almost like he knows she’s technically already doing that w/ the other company but she just confirmed that the law firm can’t find the necessary info by themselves so other ppl get involved like investigators & informants …. & then the overlap of the 2 cases?? the cliffhanger?? the 3 names popping up again?? & she might have fallen into a trap & just fed hajoon the ones that might have worked w/ her to testimony against the shady company involved in hybrid trafficking... or actually hajoon found a way to frame those 3 to make it harder 4 their testimony to be believable in case they get involved to help mc w/ her case against Lim's. or maybe it's smth else entirely & i'm off my rails XD

we still don't know that much abt hajoon or mc's informant & there's always the possibility of a mole being at the law firm, maybe even somebody that knows mc closely, doesn't attract much attention & regularly looks through files,appointments & schedules😳 now i'm just freely speculating off my head XD

lastly bc i don't wanna exaggerate w/ the walls of rambling (might be too late tho so srry abt that😅), i'm absolutely knees deep infatuated w/ the little details/quirks/facets of personality u give each hybrid:

namjoon's intimidating edge being softened thanks to his clumsiness & puppy-like moments, jin's softer & more attentive way of subtly asserting his role as alpha/hyung, tae's simple often straightforward natural sweetness & inclination of being curious & playful, hobi's unexpected strenght & comforting sweet personality that often acts as a damper in intense moments, jk's perseverance towards more indipendency & his struggles w/ self-worth, jimin's stark contrast between how he carries himself in front of others & his own inner insecurities & fears of abandonment, yoongi's new perspective on love & it simply adding up not substracting at admitting his crush on jin & helping jimin accept his own changes in his emotions & feelings toward the other hybrids.

i have soooo many more but i don't wanna push it😫

in the end i just hope u had lots of fun & feel proud of how this series is turning out! obvi as always no pressure & make sure to take your time & continue writing when & as long as it feels right^^

hello!! thank you so much, i'm doing well 🥺 i hope the beginning of autumn is treating you well too! i'm sorry it took me so long to reply to this ask but the truth was that i didn't want to share it just yet, lol 😭 this ask arrived in my inbox just as i was trying (and failing) to begin writing for abundance again. i kept psyching myself out, thinking that my break had been too long and i wouldn't be able to capture the essence of the characters anymore – so what was even the use of trying if i was only going to fail? but then this popped into my inbox and it just made me feel so.. seen. you pointed out and acknowledged so many aspects of the story that i love and feel proud of, and it was truly the boost i needed. i've been coming back to this almost every day as i've been writing, so i just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart 💖💖

i will say that having eight main characters is a puzzle that doesn't always line up, but i do try my best to make up for it whenever i can! if a character isn't very prominent in one ch, it's likely that they'll get more attention in the next or that i'm "saving" them for a bigger scene that needs more build up. but i'm glad you think i'm going a good job at juggling all of them, tysm :')

i always try to think of ways to add a little something extra to my stories, something that makes it feel like it's not just a direct copy of every other fic in that trope. dividing the boys into predator/prey packs and giving them different marks (platonic/romantic) was such a 'simple' but effective way of introducing a lot of drama and conflict into the story. i'm a slow burn girlie at the end of the day and i knew that the pay off of all of the packs becoming one would be that much sweeter if they actually started off truly disliking each other and not just becoming lovey dovey after two chapters.

i'm honestly so ecstatic that you love the MC so much, that makes me so happy!! it's taken some trial and error, but i've tried my best to create a MC/reader that makes realistic choices and is someone that the majority might be able to see themselves in. she's not perfect, she makes mistakes and she feels horrible when she does, but she also tries to fix things when she messes up and doesn't just expect them to work out on their own. it just doesn't make sense to have an MC that knows everything about hybrids when she's never owned one before (or really had any interest in them) so part of the challenge for her is to actually learn about their needs in relation to who they are as people and not just assume that she knows best because she's fully human.

thank you!! i've really tried to balance the human and animal part of them as much as possible in this fic. they may have instincts and knee-jerk reactions to situations that are fueled by their animal DNA but that doesn't mean that their human brain completely checks out. it was important to me to show that much like the MC, hybrids can have prejudice too, and that they can learn & grow over time. i'm so happy that you pointed out the fact that their instincts are never used to excuse their actions – that was one thing i didn't want to happen. like i said, they're just as much human as they are animal, so it's not a valid reason for them to ignore morals or boundaries.

yes! i didn't just want to slap a predator label on some of them and go "okay, you guys are scary and mean" and make the preys meek and docile for the entire story. they still have individuality and personality regardless of if they're classified as predator or prey. they have all had different experiences that have shaped them into who they are but that doesn't make them heartless or incapable of change. the predators have never noticed how much their biology affects prey hybrids until they met jinkook, so it makes sense that their guilt would eventually catch up with them when they stop thinking of the preys as competition that needs to be eliminated.

trust is a big part of this fic and it manifests in so many different ways! they're all finally beginning to open up and understand that they're safe, and i think it's especially satifisfying to see namjoon and jimin finally let their walls down :') there were times that i was worried i was going to slow but i really do think that this pace was necessary - there was just too much that needed to be unpacked and adressed for it to happen any sooner. and no, it has definitely not been easy, but it does feel more than worth it when i get such a lovely review as this 😭

i'm so happy you pointed out that scene with joon, bc i really liked using the colours to represent his emotions!! and you're not interpreting it wrong, it's definitely a big fear for him!

i know that most readers are only here for the boys and not so much the mc's work, but i really do think it adds to the story! there are some connections coming up that have been slowly been hinted at throughout the story so far, so i'm excited for that to come together soon. hajoon is very sus and you're right in not trusting him 🙈 i'm not going to say what it is exactly, but you are indeed on to something regarding the case 👀

i can't have my babies be one-dimensional! i put a lot of thought into making sure that each character had its own strengths and weaknesses and how that would affect them in different ways. truly, thank you so much for recognizing all of the hard work i've put into developing the story and the characters, it means more than you know 😭

i cannot thank you enough for leaving me such an incredible review/comment, it has made me cry (happy tears!) every time i've looked at it and it has helped me remember all of the things i loved about writing the story. i'm truly so so grateful 💖💖💖

[ohsalome]

Hi!

I was wondering.. I've been trying to find books to read on "why communism is shit" to have a more solid foundation to rebuke idiot tankies when they start flapping their mouths.. but Google loves to only return shit like "why Lenín had so many good ideas" and utter garbage about why the Russian empire was great.. but I thought there has to be some Ukrainian authors with thoughts on the subject, and that maybe you'd know of a few?

My kneejerk response was to say "read Communist Manifesto" XD

But hey, that's an interesting question.

I think most of the times, at least in the popular discourse, we in Ukraine go the historic route: focusing on the specific crimes USSR commited against its citizens and explaining how it is connected to its economical/political structure. For example, The Red Famine, although flawed, explains how Holodomor was tied to dekulakization and the plan economy, which are the basic bricks on which the soviet experiment was built. I am currently reading The Hungry Steppe and it has been crazy useful in showcasing how the party has been using hauntingly similar tactics in both of our countries.

Based on the annotations, Stanislav Kulchytsky's "Червоний виклик" sounds like exactly the book you're looking for, but unfortunately, it's only avaliable in Ukrainian, which is an issue you'll probably be often running into...

Intuitively I expect that there is a plenty of professional literature that offers critical approach to communism from the point of view of economics/politology/philosophy... But not being interested in either of those topics, I don't feel confident enough giving out recommendations, since I don't know which works are considered the baseline and which highlight marginal thoughts...

As a guess, I'd try looking into books published by ukrainian diaspora communities, especially in Canada. They have been criticising USSR since forever, and typically have published themselves in English. However, due to the Iron Wall, this school of thought had little impact on the development of ukrainian discourse. (I was looking for works of Peter Baley, who seems to have been writing criticism of marxism from a philosophical standpoint, but all I managed to find online is this magazine from 1979)

If we do not limit ourselves to ukrainian authors, I have found recommendations of Marxism and the Leap to the Kingdom of Freedom by Andrzej Walicki

Though I have to say, with marxism being an economical theory you'd expect that hard-logic economical arguments would be the most persuasive, but in my experience tankies don't understand even the basic concepts of economy, so idk why you'd bother trying to play on their ground. I'll give you credit that learning new information and practicing debate are excellent brain food; but ideology is an emotional beast, and there is close to a zero chance deradicalizing somebody through an argument. Hope you have fun tho!

Also leaving an open request for anyone who can suggest good literature on the topic

[stardusthuntress]

What Does Real Love Look Like?

Tech x female!reader 

(Now featuring a Part 2!)

Word Count: ~3.6K

Edit: I messed up, this totally calls the reader "woman" several times, I changed the description so it's clear it's a female reader! Sorry!

Summary: Reader likes Tech and struggles when they discover inadvertently that Tech and Phee are together. Ends happy though, I promise! Tech always pulls out his best for those he cares about, especially if they mean the world to him. Depicts an angsty but healthy budding relationship (between Tech and reader). Angsty fluff, sfw (will probably get a NSFW part 2 soon!)

TW: jealousy (reader jealous of Phee); no smut; reader learning to handle emotions in a healthy way with a supportive partner; reader is really struggling, emotionally, so very angsty, ends happy tho! Reader is noted to have had prior bad experiences with relationships - details not mentioned, just the feelings that come after a willing relationship that you realize after the face was, in fact NOT so great. Read the author's note for more info, please! I wrote this from my POV, and I totally did refer to the reader as a woman several times, sorry! I also mentioned the existence of a prior male lover for the reader! 

Heavily inspired by @originalcollectionartistry’s 2-part fic Guess I Waited Too Long (1 and 2) which I highly recommend, because they had a good idea to process emotions about the Tech-Phee thing by writing them out! So, thanks for the inspo, friend! 

Author's Note: I’ve been struggling since Tech and Phee became a canonical thing. I have always felt drawn to Tech, so it hurt to see another man that I liked stolen away by a woman that I felt did not deserve him (her introduction, the way she sat there throwing insults at each of the men and Omega - it is NEVER okay for an adult to insult a kid, in my book - and focusing on a trait that Tech rightly pointed out was not uniquely his, really bothered me). Don’t get me wrong, so far the writers have done a good job at depicting a healthy relationship budding between Tech and Phee, but I still don’t think they would be compatible. I might be biased though. I also realize it is not healthy to look at the situation from an “I liked him and I wanted him” POV. And Phee is turning out to be a much better person than she lets on at first. She just has to get used to someone and warm up to them to let them see her good side. I realize my dislike of her is probably somewhat unfounded. I tend to have very strong emotional responses to things - I need to be tested for a few types of neurodivergency, I am learning that frequent, strong, emotional responses are not a normal response to things. So, I wrote a thing to help me process it! It’s very self-centered. I have had some bad relationships in the past and I thought perhaps the best way to process them without forcing my next real-world partner to deal with them is to deal with them in a fic like this. FYI, this fic is also full of jealousy. Again, reader has strong emotional responses. I wish I didn’t get jealous, but I do, so I need to learn when and where it is okay to let that emotion out and when I need to turn it into something else. Also wanted to write something where Tech’s POV is written out in the way I imagine he thinks, similar to how I think. I have never been good at understanding emotions, I tend to stay quiet and just watch so people don’t scoff at my emotional responses to things, and I like to think that is similar to how he would process it. It’s from both reader and Tech’s POV, just for funsies! This is my first fic on here. I’ve been meaning to pack up the courage and just post something for a while now, and this one needed to be shared, my way of admitting my problems to more than just myself, so thank you if you bother to read this! It also hasn't really been edited well. I wrote and posted it all in one night, and now it's super late and I should get some sleep, but I needed to post it so I stopped bottling up my emotions. So without further ado, the story begins below!

You were in Cid’s parlor when the message came in. She shuffled out of her office already in a bad mood, complaining about how it had been more than 20 rotations since she had heard anything from her operatives and now she finds out they ditched her for Phee, finishing it with a frustrated “and you could even hear Goggles in the background calling her ‘darling’! It’s repulsive! And frustrating, the way they are taking to a life so different than the soldier-ing they were made for! They were my top team!” 

You sat there in shock. Tech… calling Phee ‘darling’? Your heart which had been so heavy with worry about him and his brothers now lay on a million pieces right there in the middle of Cid’s cantina. The world around you was drowned out by the loudness of your own mind. Until a bottle was slammed down on the counter in front of you. 

“What’s your problem?” It was Cid. “I just asked if you wanted to become my top specialist, and you still look like you’re at a funeral.” 

You ignored her and stared into the empty glass in front of you, mind still reeling, barely able to process the words coming out of her mouth. 

“I warned you kid. He didn’t like you like you thought he did, now did he?” 

“Guess not” you muttered more to your glass than anyone else. 

“So what’ll it be, another glass to celebrate being a free woman again? But if you’re going to mope, don’t do it here. I don’t need someone to bring down my customers. So either order another drink or go home, kid” 

Without another word you got up, tossing a few credits on the counter, and left. 

Back home, you cried yourself to sleep, promising yourself a vacation in the morning. You had enough credits for some time off, and you were going to use them. 

After a few weeks of searching (they had once again changed their comms), you finally located the batch on Pabu, and went to ask Hunter if he could tell Tech goodbye for you. He begrudgingly agreed, but then (probably rightfully) double crossed you, and sent Tech onto your ship to talk to you. Hunter was right, it wasn’t fair of you to ask him to play middle man, you needed to face your problems head on. 

Tech found you in your ship’s small living quarters that functioned like a one-room home for you, and you both stood in shock and silence, staring at each other for a few moments before Tech addressed the bantha in the room. 

“Hunter says that you wanted to say goodbye?”

“Yes.” Your answer was short and curt. Tech recognized it as anger, though it was not an emotion he was used to hearing from you, especially not directed at him. You were holding back from him. 

“Why have you become so distant from me? We are friends, are we not?” Tech asked. 

“We were.” You answered. 

“Why has that changed? Have I done something to insult you? If I have, please trust that that was not my intention.” 

“I know.” 

Tech raised his eyebrows and held still, waiting for you to continue. You still hadn’t really answered his question, and he knew you were aware of that. But he was also aware that you seemed to be struggling to find the words. So he remained quiet, giving you time to answer. 

“Tech… why are you doing this? Phee is out there. Why aren’t you out there too?” 

“I… am no longer with her.” 

You just stared at him in an apprehensive silence, now it was your turn to wait for him to continue. It wasn’t like Tech to be anything but long winded. His short answer stunned you. 

He looked at the floor. He could no longer make eye contact with you. Words failed him. 

“You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, Tech. But can I ask you a question?” 

“Yes.” He still couldn’t raise his eyes to meet yours, though he did turn towards you. His eyes still trained on the floor, but stealing glances at your hands, which were nervously fidgeting. 

“What do you mean, you’re ‘no longer with her’? I just want to be clear on it. As previous experience has taught me I’m not as good at reading you as I thought I was.” You looked away. 

Tech’s eye’s shot up to you in shock. “I do not recall an instance when you could not read me.” It was almost whispered. 

You shook your head, still refusing to look at him. You couldn’t tell him your feelings for him, not now. 

“So Wrecker and Hunter were not toying with my emotions when they told me that you like me?” 

You turned your head towards your shoulder, still looking down, and gave a curt nod. Some part of you screamed that Tech had practically admitted he liked you, but your insides were too torn apart to process it properly right now. So instead you looked away again. Focusing instead back on the floor in front of you. 

“Phee has good moments, but her endless determination to warp the truth in her favor and downplay the important contributions of others, including that of Omega, is not something I find acceptable. So I left.” 

You finally looked at him. Stepping forward, you reached out a hand to touch him, but quickly pulled it back. It still didn’t feel right for things to go back to the way they had been with him. 

“Please don’t pull back” he was watching your hands. “I want things to go back to the way they were before. I don’t want to lose you. I did not realize that much was at stake or I would have acted differently.” 

“I’m not sure things can go back, Tech.” 

Tech would not take no for an answer. He accepted you might be right, that things could not go back to the way they were, but that did not mean they could not improve. He racked his brain for an alternative answer. 

Touch. You, Hunter, and Phee all had one thing in common: when people were upset you would reassure them with physical contact. Actually it went beyond simple reassurance, touch was quite a common occurrence with you. So he decided to try it now. He reached out and put a hand on your shoulder, albeit a little awkwardly. But your reaction was not one he was expecting. 

You gasped and flinched away. 

He retracted his hand. Watching in shock as you again turned away, this time out of his reach. You gripped your sides tightly. Your sides heaved. You were trying not to cry. 

“Did Phee teach you that?” You asked, and the pain in your eyes made him unable to look away. 

“I noticed that you, Hunter, and Phee all…” he stopped. When you heard her name your hand moved from your waist to cover your mouth and nose. You did not want him to witness your crying. But you could not hide your breathing patterns. 

A hug. He knew that would help. And he needed to finally feel you close to him. So he began to shed his armor and stack it neatly to the side. 

You heard him stacking it and thought he had gone back to work. Simply to ignore you like every guy you had ever been with had done in the past. You turned to leave, but we’re stopped by a pair of arms appearing slowly on either side of you, hovering a few inches away from you.

“May I touch you?” His voice was so small and timid, it was all you could do to keep your emotions inside. “Please?” 

You nodded. His strong arms wrapped tightly around you. And his nose found refuge in the crook of your neck. 

This was new, but as comforting as it was, a part of you hated that this had to start with her name attached to it. You didn’t want to hate her, she seemed nice when she let people in. But you weren’t sure you could ever really forgive her. Even if Tech hadn’t been yours, and the decision was up to both her and him, but not you. There was no holding back the tears now. Your head hung, your shoulders slumped, and the tears flowed. Tech, hung on tight. He didn’t know what else to do. Eventually your tears subsided, leaving behind shaky breaths in its place. 

His nose left your neck, as he tucked his chin into it instead. “Mesh’la” he whispered. 

You scoffed, “don’t you start with that. People only ever use that to get something they want from someone, it never actually means you think I’m pretty. I’ll calm down in a few minutes. You can leave if it bothers you so much.” 

There was silence, but he refused to let go. He was struggling to process it all too. He only ever said things if he meant them, and you knew that. He knew you knew that. But he also knew how blinding emotions could get. It happened to him on occasion too. 

“I don’t need your pity, Tech. Pity, or sympathy, or whatever you choose to call it, it’s the same thing. I never helps people grow, it only ever puts people beneath you. Do NOT call me that out of pity. Only ever say that if you really mean it. To me or anyone else. It is not a comfort word. Okay?” 

“You know I would never say something unless I mean it.” His words were only ever gentle and kind. He rarely ever even raised his voice when he was mad. Another thing you adored about the man. 

You bit your lip. Angry at yourself for your outburst. 

“I’m sorry,” you muttered. “Truly.” 

“I accept your apology. Though I am slightly concerned about your previous partners if your statement is a reflection of your past experiences?” You were quiet. “But that is a discussion for another time, if you are okay with that. For now, back to the matter at hand, why can we not pick up where we left off? I wish to be more than just friends with you this time too.” 

“Again, we can’t, it’s not the same anymore. I don’t have much to contribute to a relationship.”

“Yet, you had prior experience with relationships, I did not. Now I do. I do not see how that is a bad thing. Is it not a good thing that we are on more even footing now?” 

“Not all experience is good experience, Tech.” 

Tech’s heart broke. He had no idea that your prior experiences were not to your liking. His blood boiled at the idea that your last partner had not been aware of what he had. But he did his best to contain the anger, you clearly needed his comfort, not his anger right now. 

“I wanted to share the gaining of experience together. With you and only you Tech. Now that’s not an option. Now every time I look at you, I see only what she… what you experienced with her.” 

“You are jealous.” It was a statement, not a question. But there was no judgment in his tone. Merely an attempt to understand why you were upset. 

“I thought that, with you, I could maybe find a way to make my past experiences something I didn’t hate anymore. I wanted a chance to share the little that I do know with you, because then I would have something to share with you. But now it’s safe to say you definitely know more than I do. I really struggle to learn while dealing with such strong emotions. And my experience is a less than adequate match for what you have no doubt learned from her. I thought perhaps we could gain more experience together. It would have made me feel better if you were learning beside me. Now you have experience… and I… I am left behind… again. I felt like my last relationship left me with less of an understanding about what makes a guy tick than I started with. I know it is unfair to have ever held you to that, though. I’m sorry.” 

Tech still wasn’t good at feelings. He knew that. But he needed to make sure you knew that he was still the same man you fell in love with. And he hated watching the tears run down your face. “I will never leave you behind.” 

“And that’s the problem, Tech. I wanted to learn together. I don’t want a partner to have to teach me everything. I’ve been the partner that has to teach the other person, not sexually, but otherwise, and it’s really draining. I can’t ask you to do that for me.” 

“We can still do this without it becoming ‘draining’, as you say. Every person has different necessities in a relationship. There is nothing wrong with having needs, everyone has needs and limits. We can still learn each other side by side. This relationship does not have to be like your last, we can actively choose to make it different.” 

You were quiet. You couldn’t protest that. 

Tech's signature half smile graced his lips. You were his equal in mind, and that was one of the many reasons he loved you. But there were still moments where he could outsmart you, because that’s life. 

“I’m still me. I’m still new to this too. I still want to learn with you. If you’ll have me?” He asked, one hand sliding around the arms curled at your waist, until it found your hand. Fingers slowly and gently threading themselves between yours. 

You smiled and nodded. 

“Would it be easier for you if I did not use the knowledge I learned while with… Phee?” He wasn’t sure if he should even mention her name. The last thing he wanted was to upset you more. 

“No!” 

Tech flinched at your abruptness, but looked at you with curiosity. 

“Don’t make yourself into something you’re not for me. I love that you’ve learned more about relationships, it just hurts that it wasn’t with me like I had hoped. I just need your patience….. a lot of patience, while I process that… among other things. I know that’s a lot to ask—” 

“—No.” It was his turn to be abrupt and firm. “And I am more than discontent that your prior relationships left you feeling so inadequate. I just want you to feel comfortable being yourself around me. I’m still not very good at emotions either. Again, there is nothing wrong with having needs, so long as those needs are communicated. Everyone has boundaries and experiences they’d rather not repeat. Can we agree that communicating to the best of our ability is paramount, no matter how difficult it may be?” He pulled back and stepped in front of you, putting both hands on your shoulders as he spoke. 

“That sounds like a good idea to me. I can’t guarantee that I will always be able to put words to what I am feeling, nor will I entirely understand it myself. And it may take me a long time to get used to the idea that you were with someone while I still loved you.”

“We are both only human.” He stated. “You know I will also be in the same boat in terms of emotional processing, but you needed to hear me say it, didn’t you?” He stepped towards the chair and sat down. 

You nodded. “Like you said, clear communication from the start, yeah?” 

“Yes.” He replied. He opened his arms to you, offering a hug. 

You gave a watery smile, and stepped towards him, pressing your nose into the collar of his shirt. His arms wrapped around you, pulling you to the bed and then into his lap. Holding you tight in an attempt to comfort you and show you how much you meant to him. He couldn’t bear to see you in pain. 

“Can I ask you a question? You have no obligation to answer if you do not wish to do so, nor do you need to respond today if you do choose to answer it.” He asked, mirroring your question from the beginning of the conversation. 

You sniffled “yes.” 

“Would I be correct in assuming your last relationship left you feeling inadequate sexually, and/or beyond the bedroom?” 

You held your breath and gripped him tighter, curling into his chest even more than you already had. Trying to make yourself smaller. You didn’t know how to answer, or even if you could find your voice if you wanted to try to reply. It was all you could do to focus on breathing steadily, though each breath had gotten decidedly shaky. But he didn’t need you to say anything. Your body language was communication enough in that moment, as was your behavior leading up to this moment. The answer to both questions was yes. He gripped you tighter in return. 

“I am so sorry that happened to you. I will not bring it up again, unless you wish to talk about it. Though I must say I am rather angry at your last partner for leaving you like this. I want you to know it is not your fault, and I will do everything I can to support you through this. I cannot solve it for you, but I do not think you need me to do so, you are a very strong, brilliant woman already. I merely wish to be by your side to see you succeed.” 

“And here I promised myself I would not start a relationship in tears. I have a tendency to let my emotions get in the way, I’m sorry.” 

“There is no need to apologize. I merely wanted to gauge how I should proceed. Do not worry, I will not treat you like a delicate ornament, I am well aware you are strong and capable. Everyone has moments where they need to take some time to themselves and let emotions out. I am glad you feel comfortable around me again, enough to let me see your emotional side. I love this side of you just as much as I love the rest of you, because it is as much a part of you as all the other pieces. Please do not let my presence stop you from letting it out if that is what you need to do right now.” 

Your grip on his shirt loosened slightly. “Thank you” you mumbled into his chest, sniffling again. 

“Now, we’ve both done a lot of emotional sharing tonight. What do you say we get some rest and take this as slow as we need to?” 

You nodded. 

“Please let me take care of you tonight, Mesh’la. I wish to show you my love through my actions as well as my words.” 

“Okay.” The gleam was returning to your eye, and it made him happy to see you regaining some of that spark that he loved so dearly. 

He placed you down on the bed and began gathering all the pillows and blankets he could find and bringing them to the bed. 

“I realize you didn’t want to start a relationship like this. However, I have heard that it is beneficial to be best friends before a relationship begins?” He posed it as a question rather than a statement. It was his way of asking whether this train of thought was one you were willing to pursue with him. 

“I’ve heard that too.” Permission granted. 

He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding as he handed you a pillow to hug. 

“Will you let me comfort you like a best friend would? And then perhaps we can get a second chance at starting a relationship in a more positive manner in the morning?” He returned with one last pillow and sat down beside you. You turned to him and opened your arms, asking for a hug. He obliged with a happy smirk. 

“Thank you, Tech. That means a lot to me.” Your grip on him tightened, and he came to realize this was not a scared grip, but a grateful one. 

“Will you stay with me, tonight?” You whispered into his shoulder. 

“In the same bed, by your side?” He inquired, gently. Clear communication. Your heart soared. So that’s what understanding looked like. So many times before you had been promised clear communication only for you to come out the other side realizing that partner didn't really know what that really meant, or to feel like they had been making fun of your need to communicate everything instead of asking politely as Tech had just demonstrated. 

Tech could feel you smile into his shoulder. 

“Yes.” 

“I shall.” 

He lifts the covers and gets you both tucked you in, noting your insecurity and struggle with letting him care for you. You're not used to being treated like this. He doesn’t like that. You have always done so many small, caring things for him. He feels like this is the least he can do for you. One last tear trickled down your cheek, and he kissed it away. Perhaps that was not what a best friend would do, but he loved you more than that anyways and you knew that now. Besides, it made you smile, that was what mattered. 

Things would be different this time. Things would be better this time. Tech was not like your previous lovers. He was observant and communicative, and you loved that part of him dearly. There was still lots to talk about, but it didn't all need to be processed in one sitting.

Please don't steal my work! I pour my heart into these so if you like it please reblog to share instead of reposting it!

[your--isgayrights]

Outside of Lee Seolhwa and Lee Sookyung, do you have plans for any other character outside of Kim Dokja’s primary companions (like Gong Pildu or Han Doonghoon) for your soulmate fanfiction? Constellations like Persephone or Uriel or Sun Wukong probably wouldn’t make sense to exist in real life but maybe characters such as Han Myungoh/Han Dareum or Jang Hayoung could fit? If I recall correctly, Jang Hayoung in particular is the one responsible for the title of the fanfiction, right? I feel like she alongside the Unidentifiable Wall and the Fourth Wall would be so thematically appropriate but I couldn’t imagine how you would do it if at all. I also want to say that I’m impressed how you managed to seamlessly incorporate so many references to the original ORV into your work. It must have required you to reread and recheck the wiki.

Yess, I'm glad you asked this anon bc literally I just threw in a little reference to Han Doonghoon and Lee Sungkook in the 4.4 update and got worried people would think they had to remember the characters well to understand the surrounding plot point better than Kim Dokja does. But I think I should trust the reader a bit more lol.

Unfortunately my inclusion of Aileen and Jang Hayoung isn't going to be as big as the other kdjco members, but they're sort of already set up in the fic and have a role in chap 5. I think JHY doesn't appear directly bc to me the relationship between her and KDJ is harder to make 'real,' though I have some ideas depending on how much I decide to include in chap 5. In my plans 5 will have a gaming tourney featured, so other big 'wos players' may be referenced further there as well.

Of course like you mention the fic title and many of the chapter titles are coming directly from the mouth of Jang Hayoung, so in that way she is constantly being referenced, haha.

Han Myungoh and his daughter are referenced earlier in Chapter 4. It's sort of a drive by.

I do make use of the wiki (bless the editorsn🙏), though mostly just to check dates, numbers, and spellings of names. I like to think of myself as someone with a pretty decent memory tho, so a lot of the more specific story references are definitely just me pulling in stuff I remember from my novel read throughs. Like I might have to look at the wiki to remember Han Dareum's name, but I'll never forget Han Myungoh's entire Male Pregnancy that he had like that was a crazy random W to me on my first ORV read through I was like hello??? Also that being around when JHY was being confirmed trans haha. I think I was only out for like a year or so before reading orv so the little gender fucky moments really stuck out to me.

Sometimes rereading my old work I also remember things I forgot happened in ORV. I think part of the reason I'm struggling so much with chap 4 and onward is that now that the wall fic characters have sort of developed to where they are some of the scenes I had in mind are less 1 to 1 with the OG. For instance, I'm trying to rewrite a scene I have of YJH and KDJ having a rooftop chat that like parallels the one back before the seoul's strongest incarnation arc in the novel, but it's a bit difficult. At first I wanted to include a lot more of KDJ interacting with the rest of YJH's team, but the rooftop Scene makes more sense to put a cap on the themes explored in chap 4. But when I first wrote this scene it was less specifically addressing that theme, because it was in the outline of like right after I wrote chapter 1, so it was kind of just the OG ORV scene with the flavoring of my AU on top. A lot of the little things they do and say in the OG novel would have to be quite finagled to fit anymore, so reworking it is the big task rn.

Anyway I'm really appreciative of people like you who take note of these small details <3. it's kind of helping me remember and appreciate a lot of the parts of me that were behind a lot of Wall fic originally if that makes sense? I am like reintroducing myself to him and giving him a hug instead of running away cringing just because it's me lol.

[k-rising]

Ningning's birth chart analysis

DISCLAIMER: This is just a part of the analysis of the idol’s natal chart, which wants to show a deeper perspective on the idols life. This analysis is carried out thanks to the data that appears in the birth chart. These are my interpretations of the signs and how they work based on my experiences with them. Everyone has different opinions and all interpretation and experiences within is valid. The point of this post is to entertain. [This idol hasn’t confirmed her birth time, so I used the standard 12pm time to calculate her natal chart].

!!: since we don't know ningning's birth time, we have no idea if she's a scorpio or libra sun. when this happens, we should analyse her sun with the traits of both signs.

ningning's a charming woman who has an eye for beauty. having both her mercury and mars in libra means that she's indecisive and works better in company. even though she doesn't like when conflicts arise, cause she feels comfortable being a mediator, this woman can have a passive-aggressive behavior when she's annoyed. ninging doesn't like to give a "no" for an answer and she doesn't want to receive a "no" for an answer either, that's why sometimes she can be quite manipulative in order to get what she wants. this girl seeks for mental connection in her relationships as well as reciprocal love. she always tries to prioritize her loved ones desires and all of these placements can also indicate that she's a great at giving advices!

this woman is open-minded, original, creative and unique without even trying! ningning expresses herself in a very inspiring way, she tries to make ties with people from all walks of life and values when people are honest. ningning's a rebel who doesn't care about what others think about her beliefs and thoughts with her sun and mercury making a trine with uranus.

having her moon in taurus and having almost a stellium in libra makes her a hopeless romantic; this girl is in love with romance! this combination also makes her a very artistic person. plus, I read that her hobby is cooking, am I right? that's so taurus of her lol. she also has mercury trine neptune in her chart, which indicates that she possesses a lovely voice. ningning can be an amazing songwriter as well! she's just very talented, what else can I say? haha.

when it comes to her job, she's very responsible. however, this girl can be quite impulsive and might forget to think twice before doing or saying something...

as I said earlier, this girl has taurus as her moon sign, which indicates that, in order to feel safe and comfortable with someone, she needs people to demonstrate her loyalty and kindness; having good manners is key here. this placement makes ningning a very stubborn and quite materialistic person. she probably likes luxurious things and she may enjoy spending time with her closest friends.

when things don't meet her expectations, she may swing from periods of excess optimism to disappointment with her moon square jupiter. ningning's emotions can cloud her perspective sometimes, which can make her take decisions based on how she's feeling at that specific moment. and, as I said before, since she doesn't like to confront, she may think 'everything will work out in the end'.

when it comes to relationships, this woman seeks intense and passionate connections. ningning doesn't like superficial relationships, tho... this girl wants relationships that can transforms her and make her become a better person. but it's not all rosy having a scorpio venus, cause she's cautious af. she likes putting her relationships to the test and it can take a while for her to show her most vulnerable side. ningning wants to know every single detail about the people she loves. however, sometimes she can be jealous and a little bit possessive.

now... there's a lot of contraditions here about what she wants and what she needs. cause one day this girl craves for intimacy and the next day she wants her freedom back 🧍‍♀️ also... unfortunately, I think that she hasn't had good experiences with people, cause there's a lot of aspects in her chart that may indicate that :(

‧͙⁺˚･༓☾　𝑇ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑘 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑠𝑜 𝑚𝑢𝑐ℎ 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔! 　☽༓･˚⁺‧͙

[r0yalgrimmartz]

Kore and Chazz in the year 2024,,,

Since yugioh GX is set in like 2004 at the start of the series and they're like 15-16 there, so like 35-36 (oh JESUS), and I think Chazz and Kore might be married at this point here. Idk mainly because I personally think it would take them a while to get married mainly cause Kore was not exactly one to be in a rush to get married. AND I COULDN'T BE BOTHERED TO SKETCH FUTURE DESIGNS IMMA CRY!!!

But here are some ideas my brain was scrambling:

⚡️ Chazz is a world famous pro duelist basically at this point, absolutely knocking it out of the park. He's finally where he feels like he's meant to be, yet without his brothers help. However, he's somewhat mellowed out as he's gotten much older, but his old personality still lingers. He's still The Chazz we all know and love at heart.

[MORE SHIT UNDER TO READ]

⭐️ Kore does also funny enough become a pro duelist, however that is somewhat a bit later yet she's managing just fine. Chazz is somewhat responsible for helping funding her (that was before they confessed the feelings but shhh).

⚡️ They currently have three kids (idk how the fuck they even agreed to three), with Kore being the fun and exciting parent but knows when to be stern and mature when things get a bit serious. Chazz is surprisingly the somewhat stern parent, however he's a great listener if his kids have problems and is better at giving advice. Plus he might let them get away with a few things it's all good.

⭐️ Kore absolutely misuses modern day internet slang so bad. She has tried this with her kids. Her kids are absolutely embarrassed. Chazz does not even bother, he's just confused. Like wtf is "GYATT"???

⚡️ Chazz ends up needing fucking reading glasses, his vision when reading up close got worse-

⭐️ For all Kore is the physically affectionate one, Chazz has to initiate the affection and love since...Kore forgets. This man just waiting for a smooch as she just obliviously walks past.

⚡️ I am not entirely sure what Chazz's relationship with his brothers would be currently, since originally I had it where they absolutely do not speak to one another. But, maybe they all met up once just to have a brief catch up??? As unrealistic as it sounds, but maybe after that they just all go seperate ways.

⭐️ Kore gets married to Chazz around the age of 29-30. Mainly because Kore and Chazz didn't see each other again till they were like 23-24, but it was mainly Chazz trying to initiate trying to form a bond again (ends up being a romantic bond). Chazz literally tried proposing to her several times and this dumb bitch was like "ehhhh can we hold it off till next year and ask me that again?" Then after a few attempts Chazz just did one last attempt out of frustration probably outside of a gas station and she just was like "hmmmmmmm okay sure <3 But could you put 20 on number 4- " Yeah. Very...romantic.

⚡️ Chazz cannot drive for shit. Kore is the designated driver. Currently has been trying to learn thanks to Kore but he kinda just says fuck it and goes. Nine times outta ten nearly crashes into the side of someone's car.

⭐️ Shopping trips tend to be a nightmare, mainly because Kore wanders off, and Chazz is fighting for his life on trying to find out where tf his spouse just fucked off to. Kore is found wanting to buy several mugs she found cute. Chazz is scolding her like a fucking parent and dragging her back to the shopping cart.

⚡️ Adding onto shopping nightmares, I feel like Chazz still is like "we getting the finer brands" and Kore on the other hand is like "yeah but they have a three for one sale- " then it ends with Chazz forcing the finer brands into the shopping cart. He's paying for the shopping tho so win win???

⭐️ Kore has dragged Chazz out for late night car rides a couple of times. Both going on late night drives, and getting food from drive throughs. Sometimes they'll park somewhere quiet and just chill on the car bonnet and watch the stars. It's a lame as it sounds, but Chazz just sorta let's Kore. I feel like Chazz does enjoy dumb things like these, granted not wanting to be woken up at stupid hours of the morning, but they kinda just star gaze and ramble on dumb shit or problems they're just feeling.

⚡️ Chazz I don't imagine is the most affectionate person during the series of GX, but thanks to Kore's gentle affection and her being slow and steady with Chazz, he grows more affectionate over time. Doing little things like hand holding, leaning against one another while they're sitting, Chazz constantly keeping Kore close - mainly so she doesn't wander off - or small brief head pats in public.

⭐️ Kore doesn't have much identity issues compared to the shit that happened after Season 3 of GX, but now and then I feel as if after what she's gone through she still struggles with her own image and doubts on who she is. Cause ya know, being used as some sort of sacrifice to be rebirthed as some horrifying deity close monster like some shit outta Fear & Hunger meanwhile your other friends are dead and your other friend is some Supreme King and there's some non-binary dragon monster spirit- Yeah that shit crazy. But Chazz does try help reassuring Kore a lot. She might still have the odd nightmares but Chazz immediately hugs her close and let's her silently cry it out. Once she's calm they'll chat after or unless Kore is that tired, then she'll doze back off.

⚡️ Idk why...but I feel like Chazz is somewhat the type of motherfucker that's like "you kids don't know how good you have it these days" or like "they don't Duel like how they used to" idk but it plays on my mind.

⭐️ Kore worries about how she raises her kids, as she doesn't want to cause strain or pressure on them like how her mother used to push her to be the best along with her siblings. Same with Chazz, he worries about how he raises his kids but he's a bit more self aware and doesn't hold unrealistic standards like his brothers did on him.

~~~~~~

As for like their kids, I doubt they'll ever be sketched. Originally I didn't think they'd have any due to their like fear of how they'd raise them. But I've pondered so just in case, then here even tho it really isn't relevant (both English and Japanese names):

🥀 Kenji Manjoume/Kaden Princeton

- First child

- Golden child yee yaw ass

- Gifted then severely burnt out in later years.

- Very soft and sweet wee lil' boy, grows to be a severely tired and irritable man.

- WhoreTM

- Top buttons on shirt always undone, cleavage. Slut behavior.

- Dramatic af, Kardashian style break down if shit doesn't go his way.

- Needs therapy but won't go. Says he's fine. Is not fine.

- Probably Bisexual. Man leaning.

- Fave ice cream: Cookie Dough.

💎 Himari Manjoume/Harper Princeton

- Second child

- Actually was planned. Ended up being a nightmare child (feral gremlin).

- Was the cutest baby, but underneath would attempt to set someone on fire.

- Tried cutting Atticus' hair once. In his sleep.

- Very chill in later years.

- Quiet and intimidating looking which makes people fear her (is actually super shy and easily flustered someone talk to her).

- Lifts. Has been passed down the beef genes (thanks to Kore and Riley's papa <3).

- Absolutely spoiled by Chazz when she was little. Deffo some form of Daddy's girl surprisingly....

- Can now easily pick up Chazz in later years. She strong. That ain't yo lil' girl Chazz you raised King Kong. Still loves her tho. Just is startled at how she can easily pick him up.

- Literally a beast duelist. Yet fumbles when her crush talks to her.

- Likes to dress very feminine. Very into skin and hair products.

- Very into girl's....is shy to even ask out.

- Fave ice cream: Mint chocolate chip.

✨️ Ekou Manjoume/Elijah Princeton

- Third child.

- Ultimate accidental child.

- Actually the most chilled baby to raise.

- Yet found ways to get into places he shouldn't like the balcony, cupboards, under the bed, on top of the closet,,?

- Very soft and shy little bab, a full on enthusiastic dumbass in later years.

- Zero braincells.

- Surprisingly academically super smart. Yet lacks common sense at times.

- Acts very flamboyant. Yet has ultimate rizz. Doesn't even realise he has rizz, he's a fucking idiot-

- Somewhat looks more like Chazz. Hilariously. Yet has more of Kore's enthusiasm and her life filled eyes. Probably will cause arson though.

- No filter. Says the most outlandish, borderline horrific down bad shit your poor ears have ever heard.

- Bisexual??? Somewhat woman leaning.

- Fave ice cream: HAH. He lactose intolerant like Kore....likes a lot of sorbet tho. Mainly lemon or lime flavoured desserts.

~~~~~~

This is all of my rambling I will croak now if anemia doesn't do it-

[ladysomething]

I just saw your answer to that anon who wanted vulnerable alpha and you mentioned an alpha being vulnerable during a rut and I've always had this idea in my head for that but I've never encountered a fic that dealt with it and now I desperately want to read one. So if you or any of your followers know of any lestappen fics that explore that side of the omega verse recommendations would be greatly appreciated tyvm 😊

On topic of wygig, I actually really like this chapter. A chapter like this had to happen to break the kind of.... status quo that we had established until now? Charles didn't trust Max, did all these schemes behind his back, so far without consequences and found a way to also enjoy himself while doing it. It was bound to all come boiling down at one point when Max realized that he was played. It's called culmination of a building story. If everything continued going as it was the story would become repetitive (at least to me).

Honestly if people want to read the smut and skip the actual character development we have going on, they should go to the pwp part of ao3. I myself am enjoying the angst. Maybe it's because I've read worst angst than this with characters that are even more morally gray than Max is, but this is the perfect amount for me. I get why people are upset and have strong negative feelings towards Max rn but I've read enough angst to know we just need to sit back and enjoy.

I love stories like this that are not straight forward and honestly we are MISSING heavy plot in this fandom. I've read the same Charles to rbr where Max is a perfect cinnamon roll that apologizes to Charles even tho Charles is the one insufferable story like 15 times in this fandom. Finally some actual fucking plot going on.

Hope no one gets offended by my words, just wanted to let you know the story is great, it is not too much morally gray, I trust you when you say Max has his reasons, and I love the characters you created (yes, even Max), because reading the comment section on ao3 made me feel like you might consider toning it down after and I didn't want that to happen.

Sincerely, p&p anon

p&p anon!!! it's been so long!!!

I've never really read about alphas being vulnerable to the extent that Charles/omegas are. but somebody else might know of one??

also ... those are some strong words hahahah. but I get it, we're all very invested in the story at this point. I've been dragging you all along for 100k+ and like 3 months, so. I'm with ya.

and please rest assured - I'm not going to tone it down. my actual response to people being mad at Charles was actually "ok maybe I should make Max WORSE" hahah. Which I've decided against, just so you all know, I'm just gonna keep going with the story I plotted out originally!

[fillinforlater]

what's your kpop journey ? (how you got into it, your first groups and biased, your opinion on kpop before etc.)

Thank you for the ask, my tired brain will try it's best to talk about how what when happened and yeah... let's go

Early Phase (2012-2016)

Basically me knowing that Psy exists because of Gangnam Style and later Gentleman. Young me really enjoyed those songs, but there was no real connection to korea or the idea/culture of kpop.

Then my sister introduced me to the song Tomorrow by BTS but because I was in my anime phase at the time, I just put it in my anime playlist. I fucking loved the song tho lol.

No bias, no real opinion either lol.

BLACKPINK Phase (2018-2019)

I don't really know how but I found Blackpink and started to vibe with their songs and style, which got really enhanced by their dance of DDU-DU DDU-DU on Just Dance 2019, which i played a lot. I got into them a bit more and my sister (who was a kpop fan behind my back basically kek) showed me Monster of EXO and Don't Wanna Cry of SEVENTEEN.

I was deinitely not a kpop fan, hell, I had no real clue about the culture or other groups or the fact that BTS, who I had one random song of was currently on and unprecedented rise. Everything was set in place, but I was still only danving to D4 lol

Lisa is my bias, though I dunno what that is yet lol. I like Blackpink, but the concept of kpop was not yet really in my mind.

Covid-Lockdown Phase (March 2020-May 2020)

This was the void. There was nothing to do, nothing thag mattered. All responsibilities were on hold. Time to watch vids my siblings to pass the time.

What are they watching? Asian men I do not understand? Looks... fun! With every day, every video, every song I add to my playlist I fall deeper into this glorious hole that is kpop. Like a sponge, I suck up all the content until I am this weird multistan with no sense of direction but the unbridled want to know more and to listen to more.

Blackpink, then BTS, then Twice, the it was already basically everyone else. Kpop filled my time with more fun than everything else could have. Life, strangely, was perfect. During a fucking lockdown, I reached a peek that continued.

My favorite group is BTS by a HUUUGE margin, my bias is switching between Lisa, Jin and Dahyun.

Deeper Into the Hole (June 2020-March 2021)

I add more groups to the list I like. KARD, Red Velvet, Mamamoo, EXO, NCT, SEVENTEEN, Everglow, aespa, TXT, ATEEZ... it never seems to stop. New releases left and right filling my mind to the point were even drastic changes in life cannot shake me up. I'm still falling, reaching deeper for more.

I find songs that I love to death. Answer by ATEEZ especially has me with adrenaline on every listen. It is about now that I find it not that difficult to remember names of members and that I see some (especially) female idols as very pretty.

BTS best group, Dahyun best girl.

K-Pop-Fan (April 2021-August 2021)

Basically yeah. Multistan that had commited to IZ*ONE last second because they were more than just good... they were literally the greatest girl group ever... though I have yet to realize it.

My life is going quite well, I have fun, I don't get tired of this genre that id more than music. It's stupid game shows, funny compilations, memes, stupid takes and pretty people. Around this time I get a bit spicy, reading fanfiction, dumb W*ttp*d stuff with crazy stories until...

Smut. Fuck, since when were TWICE this hot???

But this WP stuff is quite cringey... so I looked around and found Tumblr. First was Peach, then ddeun and then... Levi.

BTS best group, TWICE a close second, Dahyun best girl, Nayeon and Minju were in the hunt.

Smite, Smut and Smusic (September 2021-March 2022)

I messaged Levi (basically just a fanboy letter lol) and he encouraged me to try writing myself. The last time I wrote creatively was 2016, so I really doubted that I could pull something off.

About a week later, I'm in this server with all these cool smut writers and yeah... everything went crazy lol. My life was different and so was my kpop life. The visual effect of idols grew exponentionally, from very high to absurd, yet I still found myself finding beauty and attractiveness in other people around me. I dunno how to explain it lol.

I was writing, listening and also chatting with these new amazing friends that helped me navigate through what were difficult times while also being incredibly talented. My hobby of kpop now turned to another hobby with a new group of friends which grew to great importance in this phase.

BTS an inch before IZ*ONE, Minju easily my new ult.

That's my life (April 2022-now???)

A lot of stuff happened in this time frame but my attitude towards kpop, this community, writing or idols hasn't changrd too drastically. I saw my first concert, that was awesome. IVE rocks my world, other 4th gen groups fight their way to my heart, while I still really love older stuff.

I reach thousands of followers, find new insanely pretty and hot idols, write way too many fucking stories about fucking lol. I listen to almost everything, kpop is still my No. 1 hobby, yet it never overtook my whole personality.

BTS-IZ*ONE-IVE, Minju remains No. 1 but I love so many other idols, especially Yujin and Gaeul.

If you read all this, thank you, have a nice day!

[sopuu]

I would love to hear your thoughts on the symbolism and game design of omori

This is suchh an old ask im sorry it took me so long to get my thoughts tgt let alone write them down hh everything’s under the cut bc there’s a Lot and tysm for enabling me 🙏🏻

just a heads up I’m not gonna talk much about the characters themselves bc there’s already plenty of analysis out there for them- what I am gonna get to tho is the general game itself and a bit of the music. And bc OMORI is a game that covers heavy topics, please be aware of this before you continue reading!

So ofc I gotta start with the first place omori wakes up in — white space, just a simple rectangle on the floor with the essentials within arm’s reach, no responsibilities and no one to bother you. I LOVE minimalistic stuff like this- something so simple can can make you feel like you’re in both the most peaceful and uncanny place in the world. Also the black bulb being a symbol of repression, opposite of a lit bulb being a symbol of a new idea (thank you fandom wiki for this point) is just 👌🏻. And the fact that omori’s friends are right next door (literally called neighbour’s room) if he ever gets lonely shows how they’ve always been there for him, and in turn how much he depends on them.

I think the game does a wonderful job of depicting what escapism is like- Daydreaming of a world full of your own ocs, adventuring through it with your best friends and being the hero of the story where everything goes right for you. But of course this fantasy can’t hold forever as the real world starts to catch up, with stuff like Something appearing in places reminding omori of what happened, red space entrances throughout the story (the ones before the main red space debut as omori sits on the throne), and ofc the moment basil drops the photograph at the start. Side note, I like how Something always disappearing so quickly shows how desperate omori is to repress it, like quickly shoving problems under a rug. Or maybe im reading too much into it and it’s just to add to the creepy factor lol. Also this is one of the games that does mixed media SO well- combining digital 2d art with real life materials like sketching and scanning the animations, clay models for Somethings, real life photos drawn over and filtered etc, it really suits the theme of having to balance the fictional world and the real world if that makes sense. Also the way some scenes deliberately leave in the crumpled paper texture!! Especially for messages about not friends giving up on each other-- its almost like those were thrown away in the trash and picked back up again. Quite the parallel to how sunny locked himself away for four years due to depression and guilt for what he’s done, thinking his friends would never forgive him, then eventually finally coming out of his house and giving himself a chance with reconnecting with them.

Ok here’s where the heavier themes come in so please please stop reading if you’re not comfortable with them! [tw: suicide (or at least implications of it)]

game design time! i absolutely love it when games use the game mechanics themselves to be a part of storytelling- and this game does it with the stab function. I actually got to know this game through watching playthroughs, and at the first forced transition usually people do whatever they can think of to avoid having to press the button, before very reluctantly realising that they don’t have a choice. As the game goes on, players start getting more and more familiar with it, using it to get back to the real world or bc of forced resets and so on. Before long this basically becomes routine and players get so used to it that they don’t even hesitate to press it anymore. After all, nothing bad actually happens, right..? This mechanic gets used so much more in black space, but this time it’s very prominently presented as an escape route, something to get out of stressful situations, something that helps. you might even be relieved to see that option be available to you. And I think that’s terrifying— considering that this is a representation of how.. unpleasant thoughts can go from being unfathomable to something that feels like a natural/normal occurrence. i don’t think I’ve seen any other game that captures this kind of thought process(? there’s probably a better term for this) to the level that OMORI does and im so so glad that the devs are bringing these mental health topics to light.

I’d also love to talk about black space but I think this post does it better than I ever could haha, also black space 2 I love you sm im a sucker for out-of-bounds-but-not-really type of areas (yknow like Undertale’s fun value rooms and test rooms), it’s like hitting the jackpot for easter eggs and subtle lore aughh <3

And I can’t talk about OMORI without talking about the music!! I think we can all agree that Duet KILLS. the high notes as the happiest scenes show on screen………the way the piano is the one that starts the song off and it ends with only the violin……… my emotions man. what if I started crying!!!!! (i did)

Clean Slate is one of my top songs- there’s so much emotion in this and it’s the epitome of acceptance and letting go of guilt while also giving the feeling that you’re in a hospital (ig that’s kinda the point but for such a short song to pinpoint a feeling AND setting so accurately is so grragjgh….)

Other big favs are It Means Everything, Chaos Assembly, Tee-Hee Time, Puddles, Snow Forest and Dear Little Brother :) and actually a lot of others as well but id be listing half the soundtrack and more if I go on

In conclusion OMORI is such a well designed game, I love it and its messages sm it means a lot to me personally, and writing this made me feel like im back in English class again

[everlastiingiimmortals]

KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER.

REPOST DO NOT REBLOG !!

NAME : Willow, i also answer to Soleil!

PRONOUNS : she/they

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION : d.iscord bc IMs annoy me but i can deal with them, i'm kind of picky about giving out my discord now

NAME OF MUSE(s) : too many to be normal about that's what! good thing i have this roster to make it easier to look at! but the current main ones are of course Jing Yuan and Ratio

BEST EXPERIENCE : oh gosh, i think the best experience i had with my little hyv nook was exploding the dash with jing yuan's "IM GONNA FUCK THE GODS" crack born from a silly mistake LMAO. in general though the best experience i had was an exchange i had with one of my closest friends @overx, which was an ask i sent to them and one i received in response for a deity's altar meme. i cried so much, because it was one of the first times my OC had truly felt... seen. i think about it all the time

RP PET PEEVES / DEALBREAKERS : too many to list, so here's a few!

- pedestals. i want nothing to do with them. don't elevate me or other people to some sort of standard or anything like that, it genuinely sickens me to the point where i now struggle to accept normal compliments (working on it tho).

- writing for the sake of ships. some people really just want to prioritize shipping and writing romance and that's fine! you do you, but i personally cannot do it. if you approach me for a ship without us having established a dynamic for our muses before that i'm also going to feel really weird about it because i can't read the chemistry, particularly if i don't know you too well (this is also why i'm usually slow to propose ships, because i greatly prefer some sort of dynamic to bounce off of either in canon or through rp).

- teeny tiny text, elaborate formatting or oppressive colors. i'm not going to give myself a headache attempting to read someone's stuff, if it's too hard for me to decipher your posts and especially rules because you favor aesthetic over accessibility, i'm hard blocking because we will not mesh.

MUSE PREFERENCES : looking at my muse history i notice that i'm drawn to those of a nurturing type, whether it's gentle and kind or tough love. i also adore playing around with the idea of mortality or the lack there of, and what that looks like for different characters. contrasting philosophies are also incredibly fun for me! it's kind of obvious with just my muses here alone

PLOTS OR MEMES : oh it's plots for me, which is an issue because it strongly limits my ability to freely interact with others. i really really need to practice using memes more but i am Slow with my inbox and easily overwhelmed

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES : yes! i love both, short replies especially are so fun when it comes to rapid-fire dash shenanigans, but the depth of a long reply is always fun and delicious

BEST TIME TO WRITE : after my classes or while i'm in transit and have nothing better to do! can't do cars though those are too bumpy

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S) : looks at all the times i've been called out for doing something ridiculously jing yuan or ratio or [insert muse] coded. yeah i'd say so. maybe more than i should be DGFKJHDHGKHJ

TAGGED BY : @resolutepath (thanks!) TAGGING : @apocryphis @chasersglow @blckswnstm @shengyins @etherealguard and you!