#so sick of this painting LMAOO

[getosugurusbangs]

and i will die in this place.

[matsunoluvr]

୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ love and deepspace men and their random habits

warnings: none!!

characters: rayafel, xavier, zayne, sylus

link to master list here!

author’s note: feeling like a short and sweet one today, sometimes writing more than i want can take the fun out of writing so i’ll stick true to myself this time 🗣️

more below the cut! ☆〜（ゝ。∂）

he like, drums his fingers a lot. you know like that rhythmic tapping on desks?

rafayel enjoys moving around his fingers and stimulating his brain in little ways whilst he’s waiting for some paint to dry to paint another layer or when waiting for you to finish an activity.

he also picks at things, paint on the wall or at scabs (bad habit, you tell him but he never stops) - he complains and says it doesn’t hurt when you bandage it up

rafayel hates growing out his fingernails but he doesn’t bite them, he tends to pick them until they peel shorter then clip them neat with nail clippers

how to combat both his picking habit and nail peeling at the same time? slap on some nail polish, he gets to peel to his hearts content and look amazing at the same time!

“Cutie, come here. I peeled off all my nail polish, can you redo it?”

i feel like in game xavier already blinks quite a lot more than all the LIs, but i can see him also doing those like, long hard reset blinks

he’ll blink loads at once then do this longer blink and then be fine, i can just see him doing this

maybe it’s because his hair looks like it’d get in and irritate his eyes lolol

when you and him get plushies he keeps the ones he keeps on his bed, i feel like he’s usually minimalistic when designing his house but his bed??

it’s like a plushie fortress, when you visit you could literally drown in them

“I like sleep, and I like you. It’s the best of both worlds, want to join me?”

zayne is the type of person to ACTUALLY rub his temples, like what person actually does that? zayne of course.

he also subconsciously clicks pens a lot, not loud and at a high frequency - but if you pay attention to his hands you’ll notice he gently clicks and then un-clicks the pen when in deep thought

he definitely does this more when he’s stressed, the feeling of the pen popping out against his thumb is therapeutic

zayne keeps around fake plants and a watering can because he somehow found a sick sense of amusement watching you water them every time you came to his office.

“Why am I smiling? No reason.”

he genuinely rubs his hands together and it makes sylus look like a fly, he just looks so sinister and mischievous when he does it

if you ask him why he rubs his hands together he just shrugs his shoulders

“Just habit, sweetheart.”

really it’s because he has sweaty palms LMAOO and he’s an old man, of course he’s gonna do old man things

i feel like sylus likes to chew on things, imagine one time you catch him clenching his jaw and decide to give him some gum

it’s not like he doesn’t know what gum is he just never really though about buying some

after that you find stacks of gum in his draws and he’s always chewing a piece, the only thing he dislikes is discarding gum.

AN; silly silly men doing silly silly things, i didn’t think too much about these just slurred random ideas and wrote them down LMAO

[the-kr8tor]

Idk why I hadn't thought of this before but uh, this my 2nd request:3

Bitter Orange for Hobie with💧who thinks he escaped alive with R (from wherever it's up to you but i can suggest like after getting some supplys or being stuck somewhere for a while because it was infested with zombies) and got back to their base safely but little did he know, they didn't tell him that they got bit ;3

I'd like to add to the request I just made (Bitter Orange Hobie w 💧) and uh, this can be optional ig? but can they be best friends who've been pinning over each other but now Hobie never got a chance to confess his feelings n stuff and maybe they do it in those last moments?

Thank you for requesting this heart wrenching fic lmaoo hope u like it!! ❤️

Pairing: Hobie Brown x gn! Reader

Word count: 1k

Tags: No use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, Zombie apocalypse AU, Zombie AU, CW blood, CW injury, TW death. Angst.

Katy's one year celebration 🎉

Hobie comes back to you after three days, he's drenched in sweat and grime. But it's all worth it for the two bags full of supplies that you two need. They're at least a month worth of survival, a month without needing to go out and put yourselves in danger. He could've brought you with him if not for your raging fever and cough, he had to go alone. A part of him was glad that he went alone, he was stuck in a warehouse for an entire day while waiting for the hoard to pass by. You would've hated waiting in the dark and damp place especially with your sickness.

You said you were fine to be left behind, that it was just a simple cold that you can fight with the leftover meds. But when he opens the unlocked door that he specifically told you to barricade, the rotting smell of flesh and decay greets him instead of your smile. It tells him that shouldn't have left. It tells him that his greatest fear has come true.

The bags he painstakingly heaved from the city to the cabin in the woods where you two had been surviving in for months now drops like a death knell on the dilapidated floors. It was home for you and Hobie, he still remembers the day you found it. His heart hammered in his chest when he turned around only to find you gone. And then your scream turned him into the fastest man alive, only to find you jumping for joy in front of the old hunter’s cabin.

He knows exactly why he was so afraid that day, even though it was just a second of you not by his side— he has never been without you. Through the years, way before the world ended, you've been by his side. Always latching on to him, always smiling at him. Or was it the other way around? Was it him latching onto you like paint on a wall? Or was it him who always smiled at you? Nevertheless, he loves you, he loves you even when the world ended. He loves you enough to drag himself across town to come get you while the world around him was burning and crumbling.

But he shouldn't have left, he shouldn't have stayed a day more to find you that bottle of shampoo you have always been on the lookout for. It was a surprise, a happy one this time, none of the walking dead jumping at you from a corner. He would do anything to see you smile again, just like when you found the cabin. You've been trying hard to stay positive for him, but he knows, and you knew that it was all to reassure him. He takes care of you and you take care of him, he wouldn't like it any other way.

Grief already clings to him like a vine snaking along a tree. It grips him tighter with every step he takes. Hobie's hand shakes as he reaches towards your shared bedroom door. He hoped that the smell would be gone by then, but it only persisted as he got closer and closer to the last place he saw you.

He should've told you he loves you.

Your milky white eyes are the first things he sees. He grips the door for balance, chest heaving, heart plummeting to his stomach.

You growl at him, skin no longer bearing life, skin shrunken around your nail beds, claws reaching towards him in a rush.

Hobie freezes and awaits your teeth tearing into his flesh, he'd join you, would that be so bad?

Yet, death doesn't come for him. Chains rattle behind you as you growl and desperately try to tear him apart. Hobie, now realizing what you've done to yourself, cries at the sight of your ankles bound on the bed. Your deathbed. You died alone and sick, you died without him by your side, you died crying for him. But it still crossed in your hazy mind to tie yourself down so when he comes home he doesn't face the same fate you had.

His sobs echo among your inhuman groans, tears streaming down his cheeks as you relentlessly try to grab him even in your bound state. Hobie refuses to look at you any longer, refusing to remember you like this. His eyes flick down at your feet. There's medicine scattered along the floor and bedside table. And there's still water left in your glass. A bloody bandage is still tightly wrapped around your thigh. A testament that you fought to stay human until he gets home, that you tried to cure yourself even though you knew it would be futile.

“Why didn't you tell me?” He asks in a broken voice, a voice he doesn't recognize as his own. “I could've stayed for you.” He knows that you didn't stop him because you didn't want him to see you slowly ebb away into a husk. That your death will break him apart right in front of you while he refuses to let you go. That his sorrowful face would be the last thing you ever saw. “I could've been here for you.”

You spared the both of you pain and suffering.

Hobie doesn't know what to do now, you're dead and gone. And there's no one left.

“I should've—” he inhales, slipping down from the wall to the floor. “I love you. I hope you knew that.”

You continue to slash at the air, chains rattling, bed frame pulling you away from him. Hobie sees a resemblance of you behind your foggy eyes, he can't help but think if you're still in there, that you're still fighting inside. He thinks you knew he loved you, he thinks that you might've felt the same after all those years with him. But that's all from his mind, all he wants now is to hear your voice again.

He just stays there on the floor, grief sinking him further down, eating him alive with every guttural growl you yell.

He shouldn't have left.

[artastic-friend]

Made some Bolur OCs!! 😁😁😁

World and species created by @ntls-24722

This first one is Atzurae, they’re a zebraelf that just loves painting and creating their own little works of art through experimentation with different pigments!

And no! They definitely don’t like to eat the pigments sometimes because they get a little peckish when they paint. I don’t know why you had to bring that up🙄 /j

I love this guy. Ngl I sorta see them as a self insert almost?? But not fully, if that makes sense.

They also have no gender I don’t think??? But I wanna ask NTLS about that first before I know for sure bc I know that he had some stuff about the genders of zebraelves but i can’t find the post so I’m just gonna edit this later after I ask them about it lmaoo

Anyway

The thing about the founding Debu of Serendipolis being Badlands Debu really spoke to me…

So I basically made a “Tough Biker Guy with a tiny kitten/Pomeranian puppy that he loves very much” type dynamic via a very tough Badlands Debu with many sick battle scars, and a little goofy artist zebraelf that the Debu just decides is now their best friend.

The Debu is Kofruth, who.. I like to imagine is sorta genderfluid in a way that she doesn’t really care much about his gender identity? But some days just feels like shaving off his back hair and other days feels like she wants to keep it.

Here was my initial idea sketch of Her,

but then I apparently went all out and decided to just draw a full body and color everything 💀💀

I love these guys

Anyway, i don’t have a huge amount of info on these guys yet but wanted to share these drawings nonetheless 😁😁

And definitely go check out @ntls-24722 ‘s awesome art and worldbuilding RRARAGHH!!!

[class-1b-bull]

how would they react to their s/o getting them a dog for their birthday?

Not proofread we die like men

Awase - he almost instantly got himself and his dog matching t shirts. He calls his dog anything but their given name but he loves the lil guy so much

Sen - he said that he didn't care for the dog at first (and he still says he dosent care for them) but theyre his best friend and he would take a bullet for his dog. He talks to his pet in a really high pitched baby voice when no one else is around lmao

Kamakiri - if its a bully breed hes fine but if its a small dog like a chihuahua he kinda scoffed at first but he likes the little guy. He calles him ferocious and trained him to attack peoples ankles on command

Kuroiro - he named them greg the dark overload and ruler of hell or some shit like that and then its just a corgi that wont stop trying to drink toilet water or smthn like that. He loves it more than life itself.

Kendo - at first she says its sweet and is gushing about it but then it turns i to a lecture lmao. Like she tells her s/o about how pets are big responsibilitys and how they should have talked before deciding to get her a dog lmao.

Kodai - she takes standard care of her dog and is really appreciative for the little guy but its a bit hard to tell just how much she cares for the dog on the surface. Her dog follows her around so much and simply sits with her when in groups and stuff. Her dog has her personality lmao

Komori - she loves the dog so much. She uses pet safe dye and keeps giving her dog crazy colors and making them little outfits and stuff <3 her little fasion model frfr

Shiozaki - she loves the dog so much <3 trained them to help her dig in the yard for her garden and plants. Pretty standard reaction overall other than the garden thing

Shishida - bro probably told his s/o that giving someone a dog without talking about it before hand is irresponsible because dogs are a lot to take care of but after the initial thank yous and lecture he spoils his dog way more than he should. He treats his dog better then most people treat their lovers lmaoo. Anyways dog is spoiled as hell

Shoda - he has the most energetic dog ever and its so funny watching him and his dog together because shoda is always just standing there and his dog is just running up the walls and doing back flips next to him lmaoo. Overall he really liked getting a dog for his birthday

Pony - she absolutely adores her dog. She definitely refers to it as her and her s/os child and she would badly photoshop pictures of the dog onto pictures of babies she found on the internet for 'proof' that the dogs rlly her kid

Tsubaraba - he loves the dog so much and he was ecstatic when he got them. He keeps putting sunglasses on his dog and using pictures of his dog as reaction images

Tetsutetsu - he adores his dog so much <3 he does literally everything with his dog and they are both so chaotic when together. He shares one braincells with his dog and normally the dog has it.

Tokage - pretty standard dog owner but she keeps putting leather jackets and shades on her dog while theyre around the dorms just because she finds it funny (it is)

Manga - he will dip his dogs paws in paint and have them step on a canvas and paint what he sees in the dog prints so most of his art right after getting his dog had paw prints in the pictures. When his s/os bday came around he painted them a picture with the dog paw prints dotted around

Honenuki - his dog rarely eats actual kibble. He promised his s/o that he will raise the dog to be happy and healthy and he is raising the dog that way but it does get sick a bit often from eating human foods that honenuki gave them that ended up upsetting their stomach. The dog hasent gotten sick it a while since honenuki found out exactly what makes his dog sick and what dosent

Bondo - he was really grateful when his s/o gave him a dog for his birthday and he spoils that dog so much lmao.

Monoma - he refers to the dog as his and his s/os kid when no one else is around and the dogs collar has a little bowtie to match Monomas hero costume (his s/o got the dogs collar) whenever Monoma takes his dog on walks they go by class 1As dorms just so he can go inside and give them a hate speech

Reiko - Honestly there isnt really anything special I can mention about her and her dog/ how she reacted when originally getting the dog but she does dress up her dog for halloween so thats cute ig <3

Rin - he let his s/o name his dog when they got the doggy for him but everyone else keeps putting his dog in stupid outfits when rin isnt around lmao

Gif anime- Fullmetal alchemist brotherhood

[idyllic-affections]

i know my kingdom awaits, and they've forgiven my mistakes.

summary. "Baizhu reached out to their shoulder, giving it a tender squeeze. "I just want to know why you left so abruptly. We were so close. There is nothing you could say or do that would make me resent you."" trigger & content warnings for self-hatred, severe blood, major traumatic life events, depictions of trauma, panic attacks & a fuck ton of crying, implications of suicidal ideation but it is never explicitly stated in an obvious way, overall heavy on the themes of mental health, heavy spoilers for baizhu's story quest and childe's character stories, [name] is called pretty once. tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. friends to strangers to friends, hurt/comfort. baizhu & childhood friend!reader, brief hints of childe & reader. 10k words. they/them pronouns for reader. author's thoughts. it is here. the fabled "friends to something significantly worse to friends again" fic is finally here (june if you're reading this, thank you for the idea lmaoo <33). btw! this post runs on the theory that skirk is associated with khaenri'ah. no idea what her personality is like so.... bear with me pls. she gives off "tired, bitter big sister" vibes in this fic. at one point, nightmare by set it off started playing while i was writing this and i think thats so fucking funny, that is so childhood friend![name]core. a LOT of ironic songs played while i was writing this actually! maybe ill make a post about it?

       "What's the last thing on our list?"

       Surely the sky had been painted by the Celestial Gods above—how else could one even hope to explain the otherworldly beauty it held? Pinks blended smoothly in with hues of golden orange and baby blue as the sun crept lower and lower towards the horizon. A few stars already dotted the evening sky, twinkling and sparkling against their background.

       In the reflection of their eyes, the light danced.

       Their friend hummed thoughtfully, brushing some of his hair away from his face, before scanning the words written in practically illegible handwriting inside the little journal the two's shared master had given them. "Violetgrass... I think."

       "You think?" they echoed, amused, peering over his shoulder into the notebook. He shrugged.

       "Master's handwriting isn't exactly... er, legible."

       They giggled at that. "No doctor's is. I think it has something to do with how many prescriptions they have to write on a daily basis. Like... they have to write fast, so they have some kind of language of their own to be as efficient as possible."

       "Is that so?"

       "...Honestly, I don't know. Something like that, I guess."

       He smiled at them, teasing, "Shouldn't you know better than anyone, [Name]?"

       "Shut up, Baizhu, I'm still learning!" they huffed with faux annoyance, snatching the book from his hands. "Yeah, that says Violetgrass. Hm... you should probably go back, then. It's getting kind of late," they mused, meeting the boy's gentle burgundy gaze. "I've got it from here."

       "Are you sure?" he asked. "I don't mind going with you."

       "I'm sure. I get Violetgrass on my own all the time. It gets cold at night, and with everything going on, it's probably better that only one of us goes out. Less of a chance of the sickness spreading further, you know?"

       "I can't really argue with that," he admitted. "Alright, but don't stay out too late."

       "Don't worry," they reassured, "I don't intend to."

                         — flower of the universe !! 🌸

       Darkness had fallen by the time they reached their normal spot for gathering Violetgrass. Specks of glittery stars dotted the night sky; it took all of their mental strength to not sit and admire it. They would never get their task done if they did.

       'The last time I did this with my bag on, I fell.'

       With that thought in mind, they hummed and carefully took the cross-body bag filled to the brim with medicinal herbs off. They set it neatly to the side. Before beginning, they stretched, hoping to somehow make themselves more flexible and limber by doing so. A series of satisfying pops were released from their bones.

       It was then that they began gingerly scaling the cliffside—it wasn't impossibly steep, and they'd done it an abundance of times in the past, so it didn't present too big of a challenge. It wasn't anything they weren't used to.

       The ground then unexpectedly trembled beneath their feet. They huffed as their foot slipped, sending them sliding down a few feet and back onto solid ground. The single piece of Violetgrass that they needed seemed to mock their failure from its place several feet above them.

       "Aw, come on..." they murmured, slightly frustrated. "Maybe I should have had Baizhu stay and help..."

       Then, again without warning, just as they were about to make another attempt, the ground split open.

       A scream was torn from their throat as they fell. It was as if Teyvat itself had swallowed them into its core. They made a a desperate attempt to reach for the surface, but as soon as they were in, the crack snapped shut once again. No matter how fast they fell, no kind of ground ever seemed to get any closer. Briefly through their terror, they wondered if this was how they'd die—falling into nothingness for eternity until they starved, mortal body eventually decaying into nothing and becoming one with the never-ending emptiness.

       This was never meant to be how they'd die. Their death was supposed to be fated through Changsheng's contract, not through... this.

       A sob ripped through their throat as their body unexpectedly slammed into the ground. Upon impact, they knew at least a handful of bones in their wrists had broken. Perhaps it was unwise to brace their fall with their wrists, but then again... it would have been far worse if they landed on their back. Breaking their back may very well have been a death sentence in the scenario they were in. Honestly, they were just thankful that their shoulders and forearms seemed to be okay, aside from a rhythmic throbbing coursing through both arms. Their body trembled pathetically like a leaf in the wind, ready to be blown away at any second. At least a leaf would see daylight or even moonlight.

       It was pitch black for them, as if the darkness actively sought out and destroyed any source of light it was capable of finding. It seemed to sap any will they might've had to resist, to find a way out. Their will was gone. It was like it was never there in the first place. The ominous dark took all that determination, all that light, and consumed it like a starved beast until there was nothing but a shell left behind.

       A deep pit settled in their gut as they whimpered, curling up into a ball. Surely, this was just a dream. An awful, terrible dream. They'd wake up and everything would be normal—they'd still be on the surface, gathering the last of their master's requested herbs before heading back and resuming their life as normal.

       Regardless of whether or not this was a horrifying nightmare, sleeping was far more appealing than staying awake.

       It was with tears rolling down their cheeks that they tucked their head into their arms, wincing at the shooting pain that ascended the length of their arms when too much pressure was applied to their wrists, and succumbed to the boundless darkness.

                         — flower of the universe !! 🌸

       Time was an illusion.

       That's how they felt, at least, because they had no idea how long they had been underneath Teyvat for. It could've been hours or it could've been days—they wouldn't know the difference either way. Everything was fuzzy. Their sleep was restless and interrupted; no matter how hard they tried, they couldn't truly sleep. Even if they managed to fall asleep, they'd wake up again after a few minutes with a jolt and a wave of paranoia. What frustrated them so deeply about it was that they knew very well that their body would never heal if they didn't sleep well. They'd never have the strength to escape if that were the case. It was infuriating.

       The distant echo of footsteps made their muscles tense. The sound ceased a few feet away from where they laid.

       "You'll never survive down here like this."

       A nervous whine threatened to leave their throat. They swallowed it down, hands trembling slightly.

       "Get up. I can tell that you're awake."

       Fuck.

       With what minimal strength they did still have, they pushed themselves up using their elbows. Using their hands would only hurt them more. It was difficult to see, but nonetheless, they could see her eyes clearly. Empty, star-shaped irises stared down at them, piercing the very depths of their soul, picking them apart like some kind of subject of a dissection. The utter bite of her gaze caused them to suck in a sharp breath, posture straightening slightly.

       "I've no idea why the Abyss would want someone so... pathetic," she scoffed. "Look at you, resigning to your fate like some kind of lost puppy with its tail between its legs."

       "No, I... That's not..." they stammered, trailing off, hoarse voice quick to die out in the face of her frigid sternness. "I'm not..."

       "Oh? Am I wrong?"

       "No— Yes, I mean, yes, I was... My wrists, they broke when I fell, so... They broke and I don't have anything to fix them with, so I thought resting would be a better idea than running or fighting, and—"

       "Alright, alright, stop. Get up. Follow me."

       She began to walk away.

       "H— huh?"

       "You want to survive, don't you?"

       They scurried after her before they could have any kind of second doubts.

                         — flower of the universe !! 🌸

       The woman introduced herself as Skirk, a seasoned swodswoman with extensive knowledge about the Abyss and how to survive in it. She had been kind enough (well... it was debatable whether her gesture was out of kindness or due to ulterior motives, but they had no other choice but to trust her) to treat their injuries, stiffly wrapping their wrists so that they could heal properly.

       It took about six weeks for them to heal adequately. Within that time, they were surprised to find that they had begun to be able to see through the darkness, as though their eyes had finally adjusted.

       They had hoped she would help them get out when they were fully healed, but...

       No.

       When she asked if they wanted to survive, she sure as hell intended to teach them how to do just that.

       "Slow, uncoordinated, weak," she criticized venomously, swinging her blade down at them with great force. She would undoubtedly kill them if they gave her any chance to. If they made one mistake... "Just how do you think you'll get by in this realm when you can hardly defend yourself?"

       "I— I didn't have to in Teyvat!" they sobbed, tears streaking down their cheeks from both the pain of the several open cuts and bruises blooming on their skin and the pain of being away from home for so long. How long had it been? They had no clue. Their wrists throbbed as they parried her blade with one of their own. "I was the apprentice of a doctor! I was safe there!"

       "Well, you're not safe here. Get used to it," she sneered. "It's kill or be killed down here."

       "I don't want to kill!"

       "Then you'll be killed."

                         — flower of the universe !! 🌸

       "Stop hesitating. Kill it."

       The Abyssal creature at their feet seemed to whimper, trying its best to crawl away from them. It's body was already terribly mangled, limbs broken and twisted in ways they never should have been. Archons know what the eldritch creature even was—they sure as hell had no clue. All they knew was that they felt sorry for it. It looked so small and weak beneath them. 'Pathetic,' a malevolent whisper drifted through their mind, 'it looks pathetic.' With a shake of their head, perhaps in an attempt to rid their mind of such cruel thoughts, cries escaped their throat. Their chest rose and fell in sobbing, labored breaths. All they could hear in their ears was the distinct sound of blood rushing. Their chest ached. Their body ached.

       They wanted to go home.

       "I can't, Skirk, I can't..."

       "You can," she hissed, "and you will."

       "No," they cried harder, "look at it! I can't..."

       "You can," she repeated, though this time with strange serenity, as she stepped behind them; with her hands, she forced their dagger down into the creature's chest, "and you will."

       Blood splattered across their figure as they let out an utterly visceral wail.

                         — flower of the universe !! 🌸

       Soft sobs wracked their figure. The more they tried to suppress their cries, the worse they got.

       Many nights were spent in this manner. It wouldn't be the first night they spent crying themselves to sleep, and it was unlikely to be the last. Was it from the pain? The stress, perhaps? They truly didn't know. The only thing they knew was that they could only fall asleep if they exhausted themselves by crying first.

       They just wanted to go home.

       Then again...

       Would they be accepted back? There was blood on their hands now. Fresh blood of a life that had value just like any other before they so cruelly took it away because in Skirk's words, it was 'kill or be killed.'

       Would they still be viable for Changsheng's contract?

       What if their master was dead by the time they returned?

       What if they never returned?

       Maybe that would be for the better.

       But they wanted to go home regardless.

       Then, the first light they saw in what seemed to be ages graced their empty irises. The light was treasured. Without thinking, they trapped it between their palms like one would to a firefly in the night so that it could not escape them.

       A cool, smooth stone that most definitely wasn't there before now sat between their cupped hands. The rush of cold against their feverish skin prompted them to peer inside the little cage created by their rough hands.

       Inside sat a Cryo vision, still-wet blood smearing over its chilling surface.

       That night, they cried harder than they ever had before, clutching the Cryo Archon's blessing like it was some kind of lifeline.

       Contrary to what they may have believed at the time, the night they got their vision marked the final night they would ever spend crying themselves to sleep in the Abyss.

       That "morning," Skirk would note an evident change in their demeanor.

       That "morning" would mark the point at which the Abyss officially reached the depths of their soul, sucking the last of the light from them and changing them fundamentally.

       That "morning" would mark the point at which they were no longer Changsheng's next contractee.

                         — flower of the universe !! 🌸

       Skirk taught them much in the first seven months of their time in the Abyss.

       The longer they stayed, the warmer she became in her behavior towards them. She vaguely reminded them of their medicinal Master, though she was certainly much tougher than he was. She was not unkind, they had concluded. She was simply hardened. Archons know what she must have been through to be so cold.

       Despite all that, she even did them the kindness of celebrating their birthday.

       "When you do finally get out," she had said to them that day, "you will find that very little time has passed in Teyvat. Don't be surprised. You'll be a year older mentally, but your bodily age will be about the same as it was when you fell."

       "How long has it been since I fell, then?"

       Her reply sent chills up their spine, stomach twisting in sheer disbelief:

       "Seven days."

       Of course, "celebrating" just meant that they got to sleep the day off rather than be relentlessly beat up by the swordswoman. Nonetheless, they appreciated the break.

       Ultimately, they had come to the conclusion that she was much different than what they'd initially assumed.

       They'd taken it upon themselves to patrol around what Skirk considered to be her "territory." They'd chuckled a bit to themselves when she described it in such a way, but said nothing, only offering to patrol in her place for the day as a favor. Allegedly, that was how she encountered them all those months ago.

       They were surprised to find that they, too, encountered a poor victim of the Abyss. It was a boy; if they had to guess, they would say he was somewhere around their age, maybe slightly younger.

       'Is this what Skirk saw when she looked at me? Archons, no wonder she looked like she was going to tear my throat out,' they mused absently, unblinking void eyes staring down at the ginger boy on the floor in front of them. He looked like he wanted to say something but simply couldn't force the words out. 'He really does look like a lost puppy... is that what I looked like?'

       His blue eyes were wide with shock and terror, glossed over with unshed tears. The Abyss was slowly beginning to dim the light in those eyes of his, but hadn't gotten very far yet—they still shone with an innocence they hadn't seen in quite a while, an innocence that didn't belong in a place such as the Abyss. His shaking hands clasped weakly at his foot; that's when they noticed that it was broken.

       Some kind of forgotten instinct suddenly sparked again in their chest at the sight of his wounded ankle. Life... it was a thing they were supposed to protect. That was something they had been taught for as long as they could recall. It was only after falling into the Abyss that they began to stray from those teachings.

       They needed to protect him. He was so fragile, the poor thing.

       Briefly, they wondered what Baizhu, Jiangli, and their Master were doing right about now. Were they worried? They had no way of knowing. They did their best to brush those thoughts off before the homesickness could set in.

       "You're hurt..." they observed, breaking the uneasy silence. "Broke it when you fell, huh? Can you walk, or will I have to carry you?"

       "H— huh? Um..."

       "Right. Got it. Hurry up and get on my back," they instructed, kneeling down with their back facing him so he could climb on with ease.

       "How—" he gasped, withdrawing from them. "How can I trust you?"

       "You'll die if you don't," they stated plainly, glaring back at him. Their gaze sent chills up his spine. It was so... empty. He was sure that not even the most seasoned warrior in his home nation looked so blank. It seemed as if all the light had been sucked from their soul, leaving a hardened shell of what they once were. Even Fatui officials had some kind of light in their face, but they simply did not. It unsettled him. "Get on. Now. You wouldn't last a day out here."

       Though hesitant and utterly terrified, he yielded, reaching up to wrap his arms securely around their neck. They hooked their arms under his thighs and hoisted him up. Then, with a huff, they stood up.

       The silence weighed a little too heavy for the boy's liking. Once the initial terror had worn off, he felt something much warmer bloom in his chest—awe. Absolute, unfettered awe.

       Surely someone as tough as them could help him become more courageous.

       "What's your name?"

       "What, you trying to make conversation? Build rapport? I'm not planning on killing you. Relax," they scoffed. Then, after a brief, awkward silence, they went on, "...It's [Name]."

       "I'm Ajax," he greeted with surprising grit for someone who just fell into the Abyss. "Hey, you're brave, right?"

       "I... I guess?"

       They dared to peek back at him. His eyes shone with light and determination foreign to anything or anyone in the Abyss. It did not belong here. He did not belong here.

       "Teach me how to be brave like that."

       Little did he know that light would disappear soon enough. They simply chose to look away, rather than mourn the loss that was inevitably going to occur.

       "...You'll want to meet my teacher, then. She'll toughen you up."

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       "What is that?"

       Ajax squeaked slightly, to which their lips twitched upwards into the ghost of a vaguely amused smile. Skirk must have unsettled him even more than they did.

       "A boy."

       Skirk's cold eyes narrowed at them. "No shit, [Name]."

       "He fell and broke his ankle, so I brought him here," they elaborated, kneeling down again so he could easily get off their back without hurting himself even more. He gingerly slid off of them. Once he was off, they stood back up, walking over to her. "Anyway, I see why you wanted to rip my head off when you met me. You're totally right. He looked fucking pathetic."

       "Oh, you get it now, hm?" She smirked, placing a firm hand on their shoulder. "Never thought I'd see the day you called someone pathetic."

       They shrugged. "This place changes you, but I suppose I don't have to tell you of all people that." Then, they beckoned her to lean down slightly. When she obliged them, they whispered something inaudible into her ear, occasionally glancing over at Ajax. They eventually withdrew, turning to face him.

       "If it's courage you seek," Skirk said, scrutinizing the boy; he seemed to shrink under her gaze, "you'll indeed find it down here."

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       Ajax’s time in the Abyss was short. They had briefly wondered if they would ever one day run into him on the surface when they did eventually get out. The thought was oddly nice.

       He changed very fast, they recalled. What was once a timid and easily frightened boy had become a hardened weapon of war that sought out bloodshed just for the thrill of it. It fascinated them, really. Why weren’t they like that? They were but a fraction of the beast that he had become. The sensation of being alive certainly gave them a rush, but they hardly reveled in it the way he did.

       Then again, maybe that’s why they could at least hold their own against Skirk.

       That was something he could never truly manage to achieve. Once in a blue moon, the Snezhnayan boy could hold his own against them, but never Skirk. She was on a different level entirely. Now that they really thought about it, however, it seemed very likely that it was because he just wasn’t level-headed in the way they were.

       That brought another question to mind, however: why wasn’t he level-headed like them? Why did he relish in the bloodshed more than they did?

       The only possible explanation was their origins. Being from Chenyu Vale, it was hardly any surprise that one particular ideology was stamped irremovably into their brain.

       Even so…

       It would be unrealistic to expect that they wouldn’t change during their stay in the Abyss. Their exposure to Abyssal energy was insanely long—the fact that they still cared at all about saving lives was shocking.

       Fourteen months into their time in the Abyss, something in their mind snapped.

       They could recall nothing about their episode. All they remembered was that Skirk had them training, as usual, against hordes of Abyssal monsters. It wasn’t something all too challenging for them; they were quite used to her highly demanding training sessions. Just when they started getting slightly overwhelmed, an unfamiliar rage boiled in their chest, and they blacked out.

       When they came to, all they could see was death.

       Blood soaked their clothes and fingertips. They were quick to come to the horrifying realization that it was not theirs. None of the blood was theirs. Not a single drop was theirs. The shallow scratch on their cheek wasn't even deep enough to bleed. They dared not turn around. Their gaze remained locked into the darkness ahead of them, hands trembling and eyes watering.

       Before they could say or do anything, before Skirk could say or do anything, the Abyss spit them out. It simply... decided it was done. As if it had grown bored, or as if it were finally satisfied with the level of corruption in their mind and soul. They lost consciousness briefly, only to awaken exactly where they had gone missing over a year ago.

       …

       Well, over two weeks ago, they guessed. Time dilation was a difficult thing to get used to.

        “Bright… Archons above…” they groaned, pressing their hands over their eyes in an attempt to gradually adjust to the sheer brightness of the surface. It made them a little sick, if they were to be quite honest; they had grown used to the pitch blackness of the other realm. “Gods, it’s bright…”

        “…[Name]?”

       They peeked through their fingers, squinting in the hopes of being able to make out the figure standing a few feet from them. When it finally hit them just who it was, their heart throbbed. The soft green hair they had grown so accustomed to braiding throughout their childhood, now wild and untamed as a terrible consequence of stress and panic, the tender eyes filled with perhaps a little too much wisdom for a child that age…

       They were really back on the surface. It wasn’t just some sick trick of the mind, no.

       They were home.

        “Bai— Baizhu?”

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       He was quick to call for help, leading them back to their shared Master. Jiangli seemed to almost cry when she saw them again—tears of relief or tears of worry, they didn't know. She reminded them of a concerned mother.

       However, something they dreaded terribly had come to pass.

       Their Master discovered that they were in no need of his healing. They were uninjured. All that blood was not theirs. It was never theirs. They were completely unharmed.

       "There isn't a single scratch on you."

       They intentionally avoided his gaze, instead focusing on their hands rested in their lap. Absentmindedly, they noted how calloused and scarred their hands were compared to how soft they had once been. The hands of a healer had become something far more sinister. Changsheng was eerily quiet.

       "...[Name]?"

       "No"—they sniffled, finally meeting their Master’s golden irises filled with tender concern, concern they did not deserve after what they had done—"there isn't."

       The conversation died right then and there.

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       Their departure from Chenyu Vale was sudden and unexpected. Many did not know why they left. All they left behind that could explain why they left was a small envelope for Baizhu, but they honestly didn't know if he would even open it. Leaving him without a single word... it made them want to cry every time they thought about it.

       The goodbyes they said to Jiangli and their Master were tearful, but neither of the two could stop them from leaving after learning that they had suffered so much. After all, what place did a killer have in Chenyu Vale?

        ‘You’re not a killer,’ Jiangli had insisted. ‘You’re not. You belong here, with us.’

       They disagreed with her sentiment. How could she still look at them with such kindness, even after knowing what awful things they had done? Maybe that’s why they left without speaking to Baizhu. Maybe they knew he would have pleaded with them to stay. Maybe they knew they would have stayed if it were he who asked.

       Many of their years were spent wandering Teyvat, but every now and then...

       They'd settle in Snezhnaya to catch up with an old acquaintance of theirs after tracking down his whereabouts.

       "The Fatui, hm? Looks like you really aren't some scared little kid anymore. Shame. You were quite a cute scared little kid."

       They hopped from nation to nation on a whim, picking up knowledge and still studying medicine on the side, though they wouldn't dare call themselves a doctor of any kind. It was Liyue that they often avoided, and if they really couldn't help it, they'd sneak along the border like some kind of internationally wanted criminal. The idea of running into Baizhu would always send their stomach into knots. What would they even say to him? He owed them nothing. He owed them no kind of forgiveness.

       'And yet, despite all that...' they mused, staring vacantly at the sleeping Jiangli at their side, 'here I am. I won't let anything hurt you, even if it means putting myself at risk.'

       Their fingers gently ran through her tangled locks.

       The constant pulsating glow of their Cryo vision was indication enough that, through their own means, they were keeping those terrible god remains at bay. Between the gorgeous icy energy that generated from them, a magenta glow was woven in like some kind of skilled artist's tapestry. It was as beautiful as it was unsettling.

       The Abyss would always be a part of them. They might as well put Skirk's teachings to use.

       "Why do you do such insane things?" they wondered aloud, head tilting back to shift their empty gaze towards the roof of the cavern. "You know that if I destroy those remains, your husband will die, and yet... I followed you nonetheless, knowing I would be at an impasse until someone came to rescue us, knowing I would inevitably cross paths with the one I have fought so hard to avoid. Why are you like this? So irresponsible, but then again... I am no better. I wouldn't be here if I was."

       "Jiangli!"

       "Well... it doesn't matter now," they murmured quietly, gently shaking her shoulder. "Jiangli, wake up. Baizhu and your husband are here. Some others too… I don’t know them though."

       "We found her!... but who's that beside her?"

       Baizhu was oddly silent, watching how they treated her with such tenderness, helping her sit up when she groggily rubbed the sleep from her eyes. Jialiang did not so much as flinch, however—he rushed up to them.

       "[Name]! How is she?! Is she okay?!"

       "Gods, Jialiang—" they hissed, pinching his arm in a soft attempt at scolding him. They vaguely resembled a parent chiding their child, despite the fact that he was older than them. "Don't run like that. You'll keel over dead if you keep that up. She's fine. She was just sleeping, I promise. I ensured her safety."

       "Your ability to stave off the effects of the god remains is rather impressive, [Name]."

       "...It's really not, Baizhu," they opposed quietly, rising to their feet. They dared not meet his eyes, looking anywhere but at him—they would feel an overwhelming sense of guilt if they were to see the evidence of his and Changsheng's contract, the contract that was always meant to be theirs. On top of that… they were certain he could see right through them, see the way they huffed out their breaths in a labored attempt at getting enough oxygen. "Don't try to make conversation. I'm not planning on running away this time. Jiangli probably did this on purpose... she forced my hand. It— look, it doesn’t matter. We'll talk about this, about everything, later."

       He seemed content with that answer—for the time being, at least.

       "Well, that's a first," Changsheng hissed from around the doctor's neck, "now isn't it?"

       "You're getting sassy in your old age, Changsheng," they commented. "Haven't changed a single bit since the last time I saw you, hmm? Sassy old lady~"

       "Hey!"

       "Sorry, wait— Paimon's confused," the floating fairy interrupted. ‘Oh,’ they thought, ‘so that’s who Ajax was talking about.’ "Knowing Baizhu is one thing, but knowing Changsheng is waaaay different! Who are you?"

       "My name is [Name]," they introduced with deceptive calmness that masked the pure, unadulterated panic they were experiencing on the inside. "You may have heard of me through a certain Fatui Harbinger. ‘Codename Childe, but I also go by Tartaglia,’ you know. The ginger with a bunch of cute siblings. Have you met them? They’re the cutest. Anyway, the harbinger has quite the collection of good things to say about you, traveler."

       Aether tensed slightly, shooting Baizhu an odd look, almost as if to ask who he was associating with in his spare time.

       "Relax. I'm not a part of the Fatui," they dismissed with a wave of their hand. "Those people are a bit insane, if you ask me, supporting a deity who hardly seems to care for them or the general population of her nation... Erm. Anyway. I only happen to know Ajax because we were both victims of the same circumstance a while back."

       "What..." Aether trailed off, blinking. Something in the way he looked at them, looked at the blankness in their eyes, said that he already understood. "...What does that mean?"

       "Ask him yourself. Do me a favor, though, and tell me what he says. I'm genuinely curious."

       "Hey!" Paimon cut in with an annoyed huff, stomping her foot like an aggravated toddler. The thought made them smile slightly. "Stop ignoring Paimon! You still didn't answer her question!"

       "[Name] was another one of my Master's disciples, like Jiangli," Baizhu explained on their behalf, briefly glancing in their direction. "Although... I haven't seen them in several years. Like Jiangli, they too ran away."

       "Oh, Gods, Baizhu," they groaned, turning to face him properly for the first time in years. Their breath almost dared to hitch at the golden irises that stared back at them. "Don't be dramatic. Are you telling people I ran away? I didn't run away. I told our Master why I was leaving and when I planned on doing so. It's Jiangli who really didn't tell anyone why she left. I wasn't that secretive about why I left, you know."

       "Nuance."

       They then softened up slightly, running their hand through their hair. A deep sigh left through their nose. "...You really haven't changed at all."

       He seemed to smile a bit at their exasperation. It was only fair, they supposed. They had left him in the dark for years. He deserved to find some amusement in the uncomfortable situation they were both forced into.

       "Well... whatever. We have bigger issues than my past friendships right now," they said, crossing their arms over their chest. "What are we doing about these remains? I have protected Jiangli's body and mind, but only to an extent. She is infected and it will continue to worsen if we do nothing. However, if we destroy these remains..."

       "Indeed..." Baizhu murmured, turning to the man in question. "If we destroy these remains, your life will come to an end."

       "If you knew what she was doing," Aether cut in, "why didn't you stop her?"

       "You cannot stop a woman like that once she has her heart set on something. All I could do was watch from the background until she put herself in too much danger, to the point where I'd have to defend her," they sighed, "such as what she did here."

       Jialiang looked between them and Baizhu. "...I had wondered when this day might come."

       Jiangli was silent.

       "We've been working our butts off to save Jialiang's life!" Paimon shouted. "We can't just give up on him now! Baizhu, you're a great doctor. Surely you've gotta know of some other way we can save him, right? Or— [Name]! If you studied with Baizhu, you should know a few things too, right?"

       "Sure. I still remember some things from that time," they replied, tilting their head back a bit so they could gaze at Jiangli's husband. "Jialiang could continue taking the poison. Jiangli is... in decent condition overall, so it wouldn't be the end of the world to delay the destruction of the remains, but she will fall more ill as time goes on. Either way, someone will die if we don't do something."

       "[Name], you've been watching Jiangli," Jialiang stated, standing up to meet their eyes. "How long does she have?"

       "If she completely stopped coming here..." they mused thoughtfully, "a few weeks at most would be my guess. You'd probably get a more precise answer from Baizhu, though."

       "I would say that is accurate," Baizhu agreed, nodding. "I could... extend that time, however, if I were to treat her using a secret art."

       "You..." They wanted to scold him, chide him for even suggesting such a thing, but in the end, they did not. It would make them a hypocrite. They simply bit their tongue. Jiangli watched closely with a gentle gaze comparable to that of an aunt or a mother as the various emotions flickered across their expression.

       "...But what would be the point of that?" Jialiang lamented. "Dr. Baizhu, I am all too aware of the dangers of god remains. You are not the first to mention it to me. [Name] often warned me, but... I did not listen. If I continue to sustain my own life using this wretched substance, then not only would Jiangli have to keep risking her life to make my medicine for me, but I would have to live with the looming threat of these remains breaking out and wreaking havoc not just upon me, but my entire family. I know for a fact that I should have died over a decade ago. The fact that I've been around to see Ayu grow up is already a great blessing from Rex Lapis. If my choice can keep Jiangli alive, then... even if I die..."

       "Jialiang..." Paimon trailed off.

       The man chuckled sadly. "After cheating death for so long, it seems I've grown somewhat addicted to life."

       "Life is a terrible drug for those of us who often come face-to-face with death," they admitted, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Take a minute to talk with Jiangli. We'll wait."

       "Thank you..." he said, kneeling down at his tired wife's side, "I'm sorry that I won't be able to repay your kindness in this life."

       "Jialiang...” Paimon cried, wiping her face with her little balled up hands. “Baizhu, Changsheng, [Name], is there really nothing else any of you can do?"

       "Cheating death is beyond my ability," they answered apologetically. "I know much of arts that are... beyond this world, but they are not used for preserving nor extending life. I wish I could do more, but I can’t. My apologies."

       "I am sure that over the years, Jiangli will have tried all the conventional methods known to humankind. As for the less conventional methods, I have little expertise besides Changsheng's secret art..."

       Aether's gaze flickered between them and Baizhu as he said that, before settling back on the Liyuean doctor. "...They're aware of it?"

       "Try to avoid treating me like an outsider," they half-scolded. "Believe it or not, I was meant to be bound to Changsheng. Fate had different plans, however, so yes. I am very much aware. Even through the medium, that being Changsheng, none of Baizhu's predecessors could manage to cheat death."

       "Mortals are fated to grow old and pass on when their natural lifespan runs out," the snake mused. "If it were so easy to combat the natural processes of aging and death, Jiangli would not have had to resort to unnatural methods."

       Paimon sniffled. "What a crazy situation... Jiangli risked it all to save Jialiang's life, and now, Jialiang has to sacrifice himself to save Jiangli. What's the point of it all..?"

       "Love, I have heard, tends to make people do insane things," they stated. "It's quite tragic, really."

       The traveler nodded. "All we can do now is honor Jialiang's decision and bear witness."

       "...I've seen many final farewells in my time," Baizhu commented softly, quietly, "but I can never get used to it."

       "In the human realm, all things must come to an end. Is it not a fitting end to die for a worthy cause? At least... that's what generations of Masters before you always believed."

       They wondered if Changsheng was somehow trying to be reassuring.

       "The path they chose was indeed a heroic one," Baizhu agreed, "but when I think of those who would willingly sacrifice themselves for others... I cannot help but think that theirs are the lives least deserving of death."

       The quiet whispers shared between the couple gradually died down. It was then that Jialiang stood up.

       "I've said my goodbyes. My time has come. Do what you must."

       "As you wish."

       "We have not been in contact for years," they spoke up, stepping forward and raising their hand, "but I know you well enough to know that a man dying indirectly by your own hand will weigh on your mind. I will take care of this. Stand down, Baizhu."

       The doctor seemed momentarily stunned, but he nodded nonetheless, backing off. "...Very well, [Name]."

       With a chilling wind and a flick of their wrist, the god remains dissipated with a hiss.

       It wasn't very long until Jialiang collapsed.

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       "Jialiang..! Jialiang!"

       The man shot up with a gasp, instinctively clutching at his chest.

       "Dad! Are you awake?!"

       "Jiangli..? Ayu? Didn't I..." Jialiang trailed off, gaze drifting to the seals stuck on his skin. "Huh? What are these?"

       Changsheng’s voice drew his attention. "How does it feel to come back to life?"

       "Do you feel strange or different in any way?" Baizhu questioned, walking to his bediside. "If so, could you describe it to me in detail?"

       "Dr. Baizhu! I thought I was going to..."

       "Die? You did, actually," they stated, gently holding his arm, carefully inspecting the sigils as to not disrupt the delicate imitation of immortality that the doctor had created. "To think this is what Baizhu's been doing in my absence... absolutely fascinating. Sorry, Jialiang, do you mind? I'll back off if it's uncomfortable. Don’t be afraid to tell me.”

       Jiangli giggled at her husband's look of sheer confusion.

       "Uh... no, you're— you're okay..? Go ahead."

       Baizhu's lips quirked up at the sight of their enthusiasm. He said nothing of it, though. "As things stand now, you're more akin to a zombie than a human."

       "...I'm a zombie?!"

       "That's right. Before we set off, I asked Qiqi to prepare and Elixir of Immortality. With its help, you have been suspended in the space between life and death. Of course, this is but a crude imitation of an adeptus art. I don't expect it to extend your life indefinitely. Whether it will keep you alive for a few days, a few months, or a few years...” Baizhu mused, “I am as interested as you to find out, but however long you have left, I believe it should be more than sufficient time for you to say your final goodbyes before departing the world in peace. ...I hope Director Hu finds this arrangement to be a satisfactory one?"

       "An Elixir of Immortality? How'd you cook that up? Ugh," the girl in question groaned, "leave it to you to work on something like that behind my back..."

       "It's a work in progress that hardly lives up to its name, and it would've had no effect if not for Jialiang's iron will." Baizhu shifted, crossing his arms over his chest. "In the end, I am merely a doctor. I understand very little about the great principles governing life and death, and the perpetual cycle of yin and yang. All I know is that if I am presented with a life that deserves to be saved, I will do everything within my power to save it. Even this would have counted for nothing if not for Director Hu's assistance... after all, did you not tell Jialiang to show us the way before we set off for Qingce Village?"

       "Oops! Aaaand, I'm busted..."

       "Without Director Hu nudging things in the right direction, we may not have found Jiangli and [Name] in time. They could only hold those remains off for so long."

       "It wouldn't have meant anything if not for your friend over there," she pointed out. "They nudged me first."

       "I did," they conceded, finally backing away from Jialiang after finishing their investigation of his sigils. "What of it? I was worried about Jialiang and Jiangli. I told Director Hu who I was and where I was headed after eavesdropping, and then she nudged Jialiang in that direction. It's not that serious."

       "Eavesdropping is kind of serious!" Paimon exclaimed, shooting them an odd look.

       "Fair point, but it's not like I was eavesdropping on someone I've never met. What could Baizhu have said to you that I wouldn't have already known? Absolutely nothing.”

       "I knew there were people listening in on our conversation back then," Aether murmured. "To think it was you two..."

       "No wonder he didn't mention the Elixir back then," Director Hu muttered to herself. "I thought he was being frank and transparent with me for once, but apparently not."

       Jialiang cleared his throat, laughing a bit. "Director Hu told me to keep her suggestion a secret, and [Name] had told Jiangli and I a while ago to keep it a secret that they were in Liyue, but it seems nothing escapes Dr. Baizhu's attention..."

       "Never underestimate a serpent's sense of smell!" Changsheng hissed, almost seeming to be proud.

       "All I wanted was to help Jialiang find his missing wife as soon as possible, so that he could be on his way to the afterlife without any unfulfilled wishes making the journey more difficult than it needs to be..." Hu Tao sighed. "Leave it to Bubu Pharmacy to snatch the perfect opportunity right outta my hands at the last hurdle! Never mind, I'll just have to put it down in the books as a deferred consideration... one Qiqi was enough of a conundrum; the last thing I need's another one. If I'd known this was coming, I would have whisked him off to the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor the moment I found him."

       "Y— you stay away from my dad! When I grow up, I'm gonna become a better doctor than Mom and Baizhu, and cure Dad for good!" Ayu declared, making them chuckle into their hand. They ruffled his brown hair fondly. "A— and [Name]! Better than [Name] too!"

       "I don't really practice medicine anymore, honey. I definitely don't count as a doctor. You'd outdo me within a week."

       Jiangli grinned at them, teasing, "I don't know, [Name]. For someone who 'doesn't practice medicine anymore,' you still act as if you do. You seem very fascinated with Baizhu's imitation of immortality on a very deep level.”

       "Old habits die hard," they simply answered. "What can I say?”

       "Oh? Is that so?" Hu Tao chimed, turning to Ayu. "Well, you wouldn't be the first person who's tried to put Wangsheng Funeral Parlor out of business. If you're serious about it, you'll have your work cut out for you."

       Just like that, she turned on her heel and left.

       "Phew... is she finally gone?" Qiqi peeked out from her hiding spot. Upon seeing them, and noting that Hu Tao was gone, she ran over to them, presenting them with a silk flower. "I meant to give it to you earlier... because it's pretty, like you... but I forgot..."

       Their face turned serious as they faced the Liyuean doctor. "Baizhu."

       "Hm?"

       "I'm keeping her. She's mine now. This is my child now."

       Both Baizhu and Jiangli chuckled at how purely enamored they were with her, kneeling down so Qiqi could tuck the flower behind their ear. They cooed over her sweetness, patting her head lovingly. Ayu almost seemed a little jealous of the attention they showered her in.

       "All's well that ends well!" Paimon chimed, turning to Aether. "If you ask Paimon, we should probably go do something to celebrate this heard-earned family reunion..."

       "Paimon's idea of a celebration can only mean one thing..."

       "Hehe! At times like this, a grand celebratory feast is in order!"

       Jialiang chuckled, "It feels like it was a whole lifetime ago when I last talked with Jiangli and Ayu around the dinner table."

       "Rightfully so," they said, "you've been through a lot."

       Aether nodded. "This was a hard-earned meal."

       "Yaaay~! Paimon can't wait! Alright, first thing's first—off to the market for some fresh ingredients! Let's go~!"

       "Wait up!" Ayu shouted, running after them. "I'll come too!"

       "Baizhu, thank you so, so much for everything you've done for us..." Jiangli thanked, then turning to place a hand on their shoulder as many had done before her. "And [Name], I would not be as well as I am now if not for you. You've been standoffish for the past decade, but I know you still care. For all of us."

       "Ah... I wasn't trying to come off as cold. Things just got tough for me after that incident. I never want you guys to feel like I don't care, you know..."

       "Don't mention it, Jiangli," Baizhu reassured. "I was just doing my duty."

       "Just your duty, huh..." she mused wistfully. "Baizhu, Changsheng, [Name], would you mind if we took this conversation outside?"

                         — flower of the universe !! 🌸

       "Time flies. It's been so long since we've been together like this... Changsheng, you're the same as ever," Jiangli laughed. "You haven't changed one bit!"

       "That's literally what I said to her, too," they exclaimed. "See, I knew I was right! Some things just don't change, hm?"

       "...You two, on the other hand, have changed a lot," Changsheng replied, a thoughtful lilt to her tone. She certainly knew more than what she was letting on.

       "You're right," Jiangli admitted. "My younger self would have never imagined that things would one day turn out this way."

       "I doubt that any of us imagined our lives would turn out this way," they added. "I mean, really... our time in Chenyu Vale seems so far gone now, doesn’t it?”

       “It really does,” the woman agreed.

       The evening light bathed their face in yellow-orange light; it wasn't quite late enough yet for the light to take on a more golden hue, but it was beautiful nonetheless. Even after all the horrors they had witnessed, they still had the capacity to recognize beauty.

       "Liyue's so pretty at this time, isn't it?" they wondered aloud.

       "You always did think so," Baizhu replied. "That much hasn't changed."

       An oddly comfortable silence settled for but a few short moments as the small group descended the last of the stairs that led to Bubu Pharmacy. Jiangli was the first to break it:

        “I’ve taken a look at your Elixir of Immortality, Baizhu, as has [Name]. It isn’t altogether dissimilar from the poison I concocted in terms of the way it functions.”

        “I have to say, Jiangli, it was a stroke of genius to use poison to maintain life. I hope you’re not too upset at me for… copying your methods?”

        “No, not at all. With your intellect, even if you’d never seen my poison, I believe you would have eventually arrived at the same approach, but I’m still impressed by how quickly you gained such a thorough understanding of it. Jialiang’s still only been in your care for a few days. Not just that—you even managed to improve upon the original formula. That cannot be explained by intellect alone…”

        “Ten mora says he tried it out on himself.”

        “Ha!” Changsheng laughed. “Told you the truth would come out sooner or later.”

        “Knew it,” they hummed. “Life force has never been the only thing Changsheng’s contract allows her contractees to transfer. I know simply because I used to catch our master doing things like that all the time.”

        “Baizhu…” Jiangli trailed off.

        “…Nothing gets past you two. Yes, Changsheng’s secret art also allows for the transfer of toxins and diseases. When I treated Jialiang for the second time, I transferred some of the poison from his body onto my own. Not only did this allow me to alleviate the burden on him, but it also gave me an opportunity to study its properties. There is no need to worry about any long-term consequences to my health, however. Now that the source has been destroyed, any remaining poison in me will have already dissipated.”

��       “But you took such a huge risk,” Jiangli opposed. “If we hadn’t destroyed the gods’ remains back there, then even you might have…” She then sighed. “What am I saying? I’m in no position to criticize you for this, and if [Name] knew… it’s no wonder why they were adamant on destroying the remains themselves.”

       They nodded. “I had to be sure they would be gone. Believe me, whatever was there before… it is not there now and will never be there again.”

        “Leave it to you to see through us all, even from such a distance,” she said with a fond, wistful smile. She turned back to Baizhu. “The reason I left our Master and went into hiding all those years ago was that he was getting old, and I didn’t want him using up any more of his own life force to treat my husband, but in the end… how were my methods any different than his? I risked one life to save another, and then you tried the poison on yourself, too… It looks like both of us have ended up going the same way as out master before us. As for [Name]… heh, they’re hardly any better.”

       Baizhu seemed intrigued by her statement. “How so?”

        “[Name], why don’t you tell Baizhu how you absorbed the majority of that gods’ remains to keep them from getting to me?”

        “It’s different,” they insisted, gaze shifting towards the golden sky. "I mean, I did do that, yes—that’s not what I’m denying. You two do it because if there is a life in front of you deserving of being saved, you save it, and… ten years ago, I would have done it solely for the same reasons. Now, though… It’s different. That incident changed me, Jiangli. I do it because I get a rush from surviving things like that.”

        “Nonetheless, your intentions towards others are still good,” Jiangli said, gently squeezing their upper arm. “Would you have done it if you didn’t care? If you weren’t scared for my life? You said it yourself. You were worried about my husband and I. You put yourself in a situation you knew would inevitably lead to you and Baizhu meeting again. You put yourself at risk, and that is what really makes me wonder: are all disciples of Chenyu Vale destined to turn out this way? To live a short life, having given away our own for the sake of others? To fight relentlessly against the natural course of life and death, whatever the cost? …Maybe our fate is sealed the moment we decide to study medicine.”

        “We are doctors, Jiangli. We ought never say that anyone’s fate is sealed.”

        “Baizhu, I can tell that over the years, you’ve used the contract with Changsheng to transfer many diseases and toxins onto yourself. There are so many, that some of them I don’t even recognize… can you still stop it before it’s too late?”

        “Don’t fool yourself. We all know the answer to that question, Jiangli,” they interrupted, “and we all know it’s a very honest no. All disciples of Chneyu Vale believe in the same core principle. Don’t be a hypocrite.”

        “Heey~!” Paimon shouted, waving the group over. “Food’s ready!”

        “Mom!” Ayu exclaimed excitedly, running up to the woman. “Come and join us! Aether taught me a load of new recipes and said even Dad’ll be able to taste them! Come and try them out!”

        “Yes, darling, mom’ll be there in just a minute… Hey, slow down!” she exclaimed, chasing after her child. She stopped briefly, turning back to face them and Baizhu. “Baizhu, I know I won’t be able to convince you, but… please don’t forget that, if one day, you’re not around anymore… Qiqi, Gui, and all the friends that have grown fond of you, they will all miss you dearly.”

        “There’s no need to worry, Jiangli. I know what I’m doing.”

        “…I can only hope so,” she sighed, “and [Name]? I believe you know where this conversation needs to go. I was honest about why I left. It’s your turn now.”

       She walked off after her son.

       A silence settled in her absence. This time, however, it was tense.

       Then, Baizhu seemed to search his pockets for something. His face brightened slightly when he found it: a small envelope yellowed with age. He handed it over to them.

       "You... never opened it?" they wondered softly, holding the letter they'd written all those years ago with such delicacy that they weren't even aware they were capable of anymore.

       "I wanted to hear the explanation from you."

       "This was from me," they tried to counter.

       "[Name]."

       "Yeah, yeah... I get it. You wanted to hear it from me directly. I know," they sighed, leaning back against the railing, fidgeting with the paper envelope help in their hands. "It really isn't a pretty story, but if anyone deserves to know... I suppose it's you. I’m surprised Changsheng didn’t tell you already, given how inclined she is to gossiping—”

        “Hey!”

        “—Just... please. Do me a favor and try not to look at me too differently after you hear it."

       Baizhu reached out to their shoulder, giving it a tender squeeze. "I just want to know why you left so abruptly. We were so close. There is nothing you could say or do that would make me resent you."

       They smiled bitterly. "We'll see about that."

                         — flower of the universe !! 🌸

       For the first time in a very long time, they spoke to Baizhu.

       Not superficially, not as distant professionals, but as friends. It was a moment of honest vulnerability that truly frightened them. They hadn't been that vulnerable since before their fall.

       The silence weighed heavily on their chest as they gazed anywhere but at their former friend. Somehow, the anticipation for his response was far more suffocating than any other in the past—even the anticipation for their Master's response was never this heavy.

       Then, the Liyuean doctor reached out, gingerly tugging them towards his figure. His arms settled comfortably around their waist.

       The weak beating of his heart and the wheezing breaths he took prompted them to sob. The sound they let out was overwhelmingly heartbreaking; it was somehow even worse than the cry they had let out upon taking that first life all those years ago in the Abyss. All the pain they suppressed for all the years they hid from their home, their friends... it all came flooding out at once.

       "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..."

       "You went through all of that," Baizhu whispered, his voice meant only for them (and Changsheng by default…) to hear as a hand ran soothingly through their hair, "and you truly believed we would hold that against you?"

       "Yes!" they wept. Archons... they hadn't felt this pathetic since their initial descent into the Abyss. "Gods, Baizhu, of course I thought you all would hold it against me! I was supposed to be Changsheng's next contractee! It was never supposed to be you! I didn't want it to be you!"

       "I know."

       "It's not fair! You— you're here giving away your life force, and you're going to die young, and it's going to be my fault! I should have done something differently! Maybe then we wouldn't be in this situation!"

       "It's not your fault."

       "It is!"

       "It's not."

       "You're suffering because of me!"

       "[Name]."

       "I only ever do bad things to you," they sobbed. "Why do you still want to forgive me? Why are you wasting your time comforting me? You should just move on. You're better off without me."

       "Stay in Liyue."

       "H— huh?" they sniffled. "What? No, I... No!”

        “Stay, [Name]. Please.”

        “No! Why do you even want me to stay here?! You should hate me! You should—”

        “You’re reckless with your own life. Do you really think I don’t see it? You claim to get a rush from being alive, but… I do not believe that is the only thing you seek out by putting yourself at risk. Mentally well people don’t behave this way. Let me help you. Please."

        ‘No shit,’ they wanted to say, ‘I haven’t been well since that day.’

        “Are you saying you don’t trust me to be on my own?”

        “I am.”

       Their throat closed. They squeezed their eyes shut.

       He was right, much as they hated it.

        “…Fucking hypocrite.”

       "That may be so.” He smiled ruefully. “If that isn’t good enough of a reason, then… I’m asking you to stay because I want you to stay, [Name]. Stay with me for a little while." His eyes were filled with a gentleness that they wholeheartedly believed should not have been directed at them. "We still get along, don't we? Though you may have changed, I genuinely find it hard to believe anything about us has changed, so stay. Let's get to know each other again, hm?"

       They blinked. Once, twice. Tears pricked at their eyelashes.

       "...Okay."

       They still failed to part from Baizhu, but he didn't seem to mind, only resuming his motions of brushing his fingers through their hair.

       "Qiqi quite likes your company, too."

       "Yes..." they murmured. "Um, a lot of kids seem to, you know... Ayu, my other friend's siblings... I don't really get it, but they, um, they all seem to like me."

       For what was the first time in decades, they felt truly at peace. They'd often engage in meaningless conversation under the sunset's light with Baizhu in their youth, gathering herbs and the like for their shared Master. To do something so similar once again...

       It soothed the beast their soul had become. 

       The sunset's light, however, did not dance in their eyes as it once had.

please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot! taglist: @zeldadou, @ophelium-flowers, @aikitsuki.

[silentsockfeet]

more favorite c2 moments, from e054 to e071

beau having another training sesh with dairon and it’s very serious and intense afterwards she says “wait i want to give you something” and laura goes “my vagina” and everyone just breaks lmao (e054)

nott prepping an explosive arrow to shoot at an enemy when they get close to someone and shooting it as the enemy is hovering over an unconscious caduceus and sam saying ‘i shoot an explosive arrow………. Oh No’ as he realizes what he just did. and you can see his face completely morph into shock and fear as he says it (e055)

jester saying ‘traveler tell the wild mother that caduceus needs help’ as she revives caduceus and the wildmother looking on as he comes back to life (e055)

ashley completely obliterating sam in her speech as liam's running mate for president of dnd beyond god how i miss her when she's not there (e058)

everyone acting out what they're doing as they ride around on their mounts and jester and fjord are having this really sweet and cute conversation while taliesin and ashley are miming their actions and it looks like yasha is braiding caduceus's hair as she sits behind him (e059)

laura craving donuts mid session so travis orders some and then later laura asking "did you order donuts bubba" and travis responding "of course i did, what kind of a husband do you think i am? i ordered like 60, one for every dice in that fuckin bag" and laura goes "you really think there's only 60 dice in this bag?" lmaooo (e060)

then later laura wants some of travis's coffee and travis says no so laura makes a little sad face and then a couple minutes later travis hands his coffee to marisha and says "pass this over to the little grumpy tiefling" i love their interactions so much (e060)

marisha patting liam on the shoulder and then he winces in pain i think bc he just had shoulder surgery? and marisha instantly backs off and like winces with him out of guilt and then goes "where's that dollar?" like they clearly had a bet going on if she could avoid hurting liam that night lmao. and then travis tugs marisha into his side to keep her away from liam it was so cute (e061)

fjord having another dream of uk'atoa and the god is clearly mad at him and says "punish." and then fjord wakes up and realizes he lost his powers what a SICK moment (e061)

the gang getting a new house and jester sneaking into yasha’s room and painting a field of wildflowers on her wall and then yasha/ashley almost crying at it and then yasha tucks her bed against the wall and sleeps looking at the wildflowers (e062)

FUN HOME REFERENCE !!!!! matt describing a goblin with a ring of keys and liam singing 🎶 and her ring of keys 🎶 and the others giggling along made me so emo (e063)

fjord giving jester a kiss on the cheek before running off to fight an enemy and laura sitting there like :o for like a whole minute after as if that’s not her literal husband flirting with her they’re so cute (e064)

the wildmother interrupting fjord’s nightmare of uk’otoa to give him a moment of respite (e065)

jester stealing nott’s flask and it becomes this whole debacle of nott interrogating like every member of the party to figure out where it went and at one point she gets super intense with yasha and goes through her pockets and yasha just getting fed up with her and going “nott i didn’t steal your fucking flask >:(“ in like the most scary intense way possible (e066)

laura being home sick so travis pilots jester but he fucks up some spells so laura CALLS HIM and starts telling him what spells to cast and then travis ends the call with the sweetest little “i love you goodbye” lmaoo (e068)

the gang getting a package from calianna who gifted beau a bow and beau awkwardly putting it on very clearly uncomfortable and caduceus egging her on like a dick hahaha i love when caduceus fucks with people (e071)

and now i’m officially at the halfway point!! episode 72 :)

[preciadosbass]

1/8/24

woke up at 7 but went back to sleep and woke up properly at 10. finished listening to slipknots’ the gray chapter while scrolling through my pinterest feed and got dressed into camo jorts + a skinless shirt and put on all of my bracelets. i love making up new outfits because i always theme the things i wear and make the colours match my shoes, jewellery, etc.

also, i had a pretty odd dream last night, so i’m gunna try and explain it. i met gerard way while i was just about to get to the venue mcr we’re playing in. he was really friendly and i took a few videos with him but then he obviously had to go and play. most of the dream was just me and him talking but i don’t remember what it was about. after he left i continued making my way to the venue and saw them play around 3 songs until i decided i was going to change for some reason?

so i went out of the venue to change and they wouldn’t let me back in so i didn’t see anymore of the show and it was really sad 😭 i woke up thinking it was real and i checked my camera roll for videos of me and gerard and then i realised.. lmaoo — i’m still mad it didn’t happen cuz like even though i only saw three songs that’s still three songs!! and i befriended gerard!! i think i had this dream because i was thinking about mikey ways instagram story before i fell asleep. but like.. he was SO NICE oh my god i know it wasn’t real but i honestly think this is going to trigger a gerard hyperfixation he was so much like how he is in videos and stuff

after getting ready i went to the garden to collect a few stinging nettles so i can make tea later. i ended up getting these weird spikey seeds all over my jorts and hair. there were barely any that weren’t turning yellow but i’m not too bothered because i don’t like the taste anyways, id rather have a smaller amount. i’m only having it because it’s apparently healthy and water makes me sick although it’s one of my favourite drinks.

once i got back inside i made a pinterest board dedicated to alt/punk diy’s i can try out sometime. ive started making patch pants/patches/bottlecap badges/bleached clothes [etc] + i’m currently collecting can tabs to make a bracelet/chain for my trousers but i don’t have enough and ive unfortunately lost my fabric paint for my patches. either way, i still like looking at patch inspo and stuff and i could try and use bleach instead of paint.

i came across a post of a soup can tab with beads threaded onto it with that bendy copper metal stuff and attempted to make one with a normal can tab and a skull bead id chopped off a bracelet i got for 10p at a bootsale. it didn’t look anything like the original and the photo i took of it [shown at end] makes it look 10x more horrendous than it actually is but it looks cool when i wear it.

after looking through some 2023 gerard pics i put fight club on because i’m finally not too tired/busy to watch it!! i briefly played roblox while watching it because i’m the worst at keeping my attention on one thing without getting distracted, i was just as bad while watching beetlejuice. i went out to living room to have something to eat [this feels so embarrassing to say omfg] and came back to my room to carry on watching it at 2:50.

it finished at 4:30 [i honestly thought i’d understand it better, but quite a lot of it just went right over my head. anyways, i liked the way the characters talked.] and then made my ‘this user’ posts, collected gifs for my future posts, + made them drafts up until 5:50 when i finally made my nettle tea. i thought i’d boiled the nettles too much like i usually do but it was actually really weak.

i drank about half because it was making my throat feel really weird so i went out to the driveway and sat with boris while i started making a basket thingy on depop. i think it was making me feel weird because the last time i made it [which was ages ago, i often forget how it tastes] id add honey while i’m boiling it. it could’ve just been too raw, or maybe it’s because of my heightened senses.

i found some really cute stuff. i added a monster energy beanie, a bat belt buckle, a beetlejuice pin [cuz i can never have enough pins], a bat necklace, a cookie monster cap, a long black beaded necklace, a blue fox cap, and a long sleeve black and red striped shirt that i’ve already made up an outfit for etc. after some time of that i went back inside and got ready for my walk. me and my mum walked around where my old primary school was so it was really nostalgic.

i ended up picking up like 30 blackberries because they’re starting to come out now and had a few after looking up how many cals they are. after being back home for like 10 minutes i watched my dad play natural disaster [it was hilarious he got so confused everytime he died] for like ages up until we had to be quiet because my sister was ‘trying to sleep’ so i watched a few clips of mcr interviews and cuddled boris.

i ranged from being in my room to cuddling boris for a while until i had a bit of a smoothie + went upstairs to ask my parents questions about boris. beforehand my dad was giving me advice for the lighting on this picture i took of the smiler when we went to alton towers at the start of july. i then asked the questions [took just about as much time as it usually would and came downstairs to boris at 1:20 [or something.]

i gave him his last meal of the day, told him about my day and finished saying goodnight to him at 2:14. i give him these treats he really loves every night but he was extra happy about me handing them to him today. i wrote the rest of my journal entry thing at 2:17 and went to sleep at 2:30. i am not excited to wake up early tomorrow.

have a good day/night -_<

[catzgam3rz]

I was scrolling google for pictures of moths for a reference picture and a post from 2021 where I sent you a bunch of pictures of my favorite moths popped up lmaoo

The post reminded me that you said ur fav moth is the cecropia moth and I had painted that moth on a patch I made for my backpack lolz

OMG OMG OMG THEY LOOK SO COOL PERI THATS SO SICK OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[chitsangenthusiast]

7, 9, and 11 for the ask game!!

hehehe more late responses to old ask games <3

7. What is your favorite scene you’ve written so far? ok i know this is going to make this answer a long one but i've gotta include the intro scene to my zukka novel's fic 'in time's arrow' <333 i enjoyed imagining and writing it so much that it's actually one of the reasons why i'm choosing to blend this fic with my mortician/marine bio au <3333

Fiddling with the frayed strings on his raincoat, Sokka frowned as he peered into the water. Salmon-eels don’t usually stray this far out into the bay. They’re river fish, shoals of glistening silver better suited for the rocky streams back home. For one to hobble out into open water alone, misshapen and streaked the color of wood grain, meant it had to be sick. If it got caught in his dad’s net then it could infect the other fish, and Sokka couldn’t let something like that happen, not on his very first fishing trip. He watched it like a penguin-hawk; in one moment he was tracking the salmon-eel from one end of the boat to the other, in the next— The ocean swallowed him like it was welcoming him home. Later, after he was pulled out by frantic hands that soothed his shuddering chest and layered him in thick blankets, Sokka sat curled up in the warmth of his Gran-Gran’s arms. She rocked him, gentle like the bay before its waters grew greedy, and as she petted at his drying hair she hummed to him of many things. There are animals that can live both on land and in the water, she’d said, and she listed all the ones she knew. There are accounts of more fantastical things that dwelled far deeper, and she described them. Ordinary people have also journeyed into those waters, she murmured. In her stories, sometimes they were even transformed anew. Sokka listened to them all, and though he stayed quiet and his eyelids grew heavy, his teeth still dug into the meat of his bottom lip and chewed until it stung. Because no matter how long he waited, none of those stories held what he had seen as he sank, a beast with squirming, midnight bright skin that stole away the blue of the water, a mouth full of raging colors, and mighty tusks that nicked his palm and made him bleed a drop of shimmering blue.

9. What is your favorite dialogue you’ve written so far? lmfao i'm trying to be fresh with these answers to not say things i've likely talked abt in the past, so i just reread the beginning half of mallrat chpt 4 and can i just use all of that as my answer. bc boy howdy do i love writing silly 'everyone pick on sokka' convos <3

but if not, then i do enjoy this bit from gold in the air of summer:

“I’m about to make it a rule that no one’s allowed to describe anything as just a shiny version of a regular color,” Toph complains lightly. As expected, Zuko radiates pure frustration, and it makes her grin at how easy it is to do that. “Don’t give me that! It does!” “Do better,” is all she says in response. Zuko makes a loud sound of irritation and barrels forward. “Gold looks warm, and a lot of people in my nation think gold is an honor to the sun because they’re the same color. Although you can’t actually look at the sun the same way you can at gold—uhm,” Zuko stumbles in his explanation, and any stubborn tenacity he had gathered disappears completely. He lets out an explosive sigh, and Toph hears him move to dart up from his spot in the sand. “Whatever, I’m not going to sit here and explain it when I can just show you. I’ll just get something from inside, there’s plenty to bend in there.” “Zuko’s eyes are gold,” Sokka says, simply and clearly enough to cut through all of Zuko’s aggravation and shock him into stunned silence.

11. What scene are you most hyped for this chapter/fic? lmaoo an answer special just for you: the 'come when you want' 5+1 nsfw has some good ol' war paint, glove, and mask play bc again, indulging yourself is the key to life <33

[builtyouahousefromabrokenhome]

Some thoughts about Room Under The Stairs now that I've listened to it for a while ... :3

Some top vocal moments, I'm loving the South Asian inspired vocal bits here and there. Musically it's really a natural progression from Nobody Is Listening. My brain started playing Paolo Nutini songs after my first RUTS listen, and the sound is quite similar! Zayn is doing a lot of crackly distortion stuff with his voice that make it sound like Paolo Nutini and other singers in that genre.

(Btw it seems I was buying the hype, because I fully expected Zayn to be capable of actually creating a completely new genre like some of the interviewers claimed ... So at my first listen I was a tiny bit disappointed somehow???? xD lmaoo)

The whole visual profile of the album is so lovely and cosy. Especially the lyric videos on youtube are really nice, lovely aesthetics, and different little videos for each song. ♥

Dreamin became an instant skip for me T^T It just sounds like ~200.000 other songs in the world that are also not my cup of tea ... (Btw I wish Spotify had a feature where you could block specific songs from being played to you, also to save songs from getting overplayed!) And after a few listens I started skipping Grateful, too - it's a bit too repetitive for me lol, even if it was probably a deliberate choice to make it sound like a prayer.

False Starts is lovely, in one of my most favourite song genres - "let's leave this place for something better". And it has a refreshing introvert validation in "tonight we can go it alone" :3

In Fuchsia Dreams the lines "I'm tired of the grey / I'm sick of the pain" (juxtaposed with Fuchsia in the title) are likely a reference to the paint colour Payne's Grey ... and even if you don't take it as 'ziam proof' or whatever, it wouldn't be that outlandish if maybe the song does have some kind of inspiration from Liam? 👀

My faves: Stardust - it's so cosy and lovely, and I like the mv with its sci-fi vibes. The Time - the cosy lyrics, country + South Asian style vocals = awesome and so cute. And last but not least How It Feels, with the amazing vocals ♥ The way he sings the line "can you give me a reason to stay" gives me goosebumps and/or makes me cry every time T^T ...

[clown-is-lonelyy]

Across the Spiderverse thoughts (SPOILERS!!)

Finished watching the movie now :D

* Getting slapped by outstanding visuals, my favourite :DD

* Seriously these opening scenes are GORGEOUS

* LOVE Gwens webslinging

* God Vulture looks so sick!

* The movement of everybody is so cool

* I am not above having every point on this list be an appraisal of this movie.

* THAT ENTRANCE

* What?

* Oh he’s a vampire?

* Come onn the painting style for Gwens universe is so 💕✨💖❤️😭

* These backgrounds are making me feral

* Here we go >:)

* Don’t know what to say about the Spot, like, Look at him

* Nooo the apology video 💀💀

* Still not getting over the Spot’s pathetic behaviour xD

* Oh Miles roommate already knows

* LOL THAT FRAME OF JEFFS FACE THERE XD

* Sad I got spoiled on the bagel man being the Spot but damn that’s still hilarious

* VENOM 2018 JUMPSCARE NOOO

* Lego peter is seriously a part of this too lmaoo

* Gotta be honest, it did not click for me that this Gwen was Gwen Stacy. I always thought it was just a different Gwen lol

* Here he comess :D

* The MAN He’s here!!

* Ohhh here’s the other guyy (I should really use their names actually)

* Just wanted to say that everyone is amazing, love them all <3

* Yoo MCU Prowler??

* Yayy ol Petes back!

* GAHH All these movie cameos 💀💀💀💀💀

* “My dad’s about to be captain…” AARGHHHHH

* Spectacular Spiderman???

* Hobie. The Goat.

* *Sign* Come on with that meme

* Wanna appreciate all the work for all of these spider peeps, don’t think anything is gonna top this for a while

* Goddd these colouurrrsss lemme move to Gwen universe please

* OOOOHHH THAT TWIST HOLY SHITT

* God I’m just losing my mind right now holy crap

* I love Hobie so much btw

* OOOHHHH HOOLLLYY SHIITTT

* I CAANNTTT

* THAATT HOW ENDS WHAATTT??!!?!!

Okay, now that that’s over. 100/10 movie. Very good. I’m very shook rn so I’m just ending it off here.

[berryblu-soda]

Hello everyone ^^ srry for the hiatus again 😭

To list my reasons, I was in finals, then as soon as I finished finals I got sick (nothing serious, bad stomach time for like 2 days, probs ate something weird lol ) and then I had to help paint my brother's room, then after that my room, and sort through my stuff (I'm a bit of a hoarder, h e l p), whilst doing a bit of a cleaning to all the corners of the house that don't usually see the light of day

And of course Christmas decoration and preparation for events bc family is coming over soon and they'll most likely be staying at our house

So yeahh, I'm doing good but my screen time is in shambles with no end in sight, literally been busy from the moment I wake up to the moment I go back to sleep 💀, I'm currently typing this at my uncle's house bc he's hosting a dinner for some ukraine missionaries, and we're supposed to help and stuff, especially since knowing English helps a lot with communication (remember I'm Mexican lol) but they're running late (like last year lmaoo) so I finally have time to kill o(-(

[izzy-b-hands]

5, 10, 20, and 25 ♥

Thank u Will!! 💛🫂💛🫂

5. favorite form of potato?

Tater tots, or straight up plain mashed potatoes.

10. on a plane, do you ask for apple or orange juice?

Unfortunately, neither. I get afraid of getting sick on planes, so I rarely eat or drink (note, I know this is also not a good option akdnfkgn.)

20. favorite disney princess movie?

Oh man. Probably Snow White? It was one of the first ones I watched as a kid, and now the hand painted backgrounds are super comforting to me to see, so I rewatch it A Lot lmaoo (plus something something abused kid wanting someone to come carry them away to live in a forest with cute animals or a castle with a cute guy, yadda yadda lmaooo)

25. would you say you have good taste in music?

jandkfngkgn No, you have seen my Spotify at least in part, U know my music sins (remember the day I discovered this song 😂)

[jjhoa]

Tempest 

[ash-and-starlight]

would love to know some of your zukka fic recs if you feel like sharing!

LMAOO THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN

ok obligatory intro, this is not a comprehensive list of works because it would honestly truly get too long (and also bc I forgot some, rip) but if someone feels like adding their own recs it's more than welcome!! second I'm trying to keep it to just one fic per author but PLEASE extend the rec to every one of these authors' works bc I promise it's worth it.

without further ado besties let's get into it (under the cut bc despite my best intentions it got embarrassingly long)

- A predictable story by mindbending 7k words, rated G "That lying, scummy Aunt Wu predicts a grand romance for Sokka. To disprove her "fortunetelling" once and for all, Sokka decides to spend the night with least romantic person he knows. Zuko."

- Another word for wanting by eurydicees 23k words, rated T listen usually I'm not one for soulmate aus but this one. THIS ONE. beautifully written and deeply, emotionally devastating.

- A loose bolt by hydrochaeris 50k words, rated T The first installment of a truly amazing series. A very deep and well written portrayal of sokka and zuko struggling with family and university, while trying to avoid each other.

- The Stingray by smediterranea 24k words, rated M (I tried to keep it sfw but I simply couldn't leave this one out, perdoname madre por mi vida loca) Zuko gets injured by a stingray while on the beach, thank god the hot lifeguard is there to help him. Idiots to lovers ensues.

- and I'll do anything you say (if you say it with your hands) by nebulastucky 60k words, rated M eight chapters (so far) of PURE YEARNING. EVIL. SICK AND TWISTED. Zukka fwb to "oh no I'm in love with the guy" modern au, featuring the true shining star of this story Momo the cat.

- Carmine by backatpatrickpark 6k words, rated G Artist Sokka rights!! A post canon fic that explores art as a metaphor of growth, and the color red.

- from you, the flowers grow by wearealltalesintheend 6k words, rated T tattoo parlor/flower shop au. I haven't read this one in a while but I remember it was so sweet and heartfelt, it has a v special place in my heart.

- I could (never) give you peace by zukkababey 10k words, rated M u know those fics when the characters are together but are STILL pining terribly for each other? this fic has it all. the love, the yearning, the miscommunication, the angst with a happy ending. 200/10

- kiss me just to shut me up by dickpuncher420 40k words, rated T Sokka is a sk8r boy, Zuko is a tattoo artist, can I make it any more obvious?I love this fic SO MUCH the vibes are immaculate, invented summer and falling in love.

- afternoon tea by toribird 47k words, rated T "Early on during his time in Ba Sing Se, Sokka stops for a cup of tea. This small action changes everything."

- It's the mallrat in me by leopardfringe 31k words, rated T if I ever stop losing my mf mind about this story just assume I'm dead. Sokka and Zuko and their developing relationship as it goes through the five stages of grief, and also they're working at the mall.

- Ignition Point by Yuu_chi 18k words, rated M I'm also not one for bender!sokka works but this one here is the bright blazing amazing exception. After the war Sokka finds out he's a firebender, and goes to the fire nation to ask Zuko for help.

- Landscapes by jinnora 4k words, rated T "Firelord Zuko has been teaching his Southern Water Tribe Ambassador, Sokka, landscape painting. Featuring counterchange, jokes about knives, and Zuko being desperately attracted to Sokka."

- like the sun inside of you by ofherlionheart 126k words, rated M a HUGE fic and it has become one of my all time faves. Come for the (eventual) zukka stay for the incredible plot, world building and original characters, I would kill and die for all of them.

- light, manufactured by HisMomoness 55k words, rated T This story is most of all an amazing character study of Zuko dealing with complicated emotion during his stay in a research station in Antartica. It's about the mortifying ordeal of letting yourself be known, healing, and penguins.

- recreate a place that's our own world by Muncaster 42k words, rated T Zukka storm chasers AU. it's soo beautifully written, Sokka and Zuko and a van, falling in love and running into storms <333

- real enough to get me through by marriedzukka 193k words, rated M "After Iroh passes, Zuko reaches his breaking point. As he navigates the path through grief, he meets a kindred soul, and begins to heal in more ways than one."

- settle for by amatchforyourmadness 23k words, rated T this fic devastated me, scooped out my heart and left it to melt on the floor. features poet!zuko and an incredible amount of tears (the tears are mine)

- sirens & sleepless nights by satirrian 54k words, rated T dystopian modern au. I love this story beyond reason it's simply insane. the plot is insane. the worldbuilding is insane. the fact that it invented romance with a dish washing scene is insane. Once again begging you all to read it

- the art of charting the stars by ermysthewarlock 16k words, rated T "A post-canon fic where Ambassador Sokka and Fire Lord Zuko write each other letters and watch the stars."

- the theory of liminality by Aiyah 19k words, rated M oh boy this one HURTS so good, Sokka gets lost in space, and tries to make his way back to earth and to the man he loves. I cried.

- What You See You Might Not Get by lenaballena 22k words, rated T speaking of space zukka I could NOT leave out this absolutely iconic masterpiece. "A Starfleet Au; five things Zuko learned about Sokka, and one thing Sokka already knew about Zuko."

- the road between action and inaction by Donvex 17k words, rated T "The hitchhiker au, featuring Sokka and Zuko falling in love without even realizing it."

- through the ice darkly by chuffystilton this one is a series, kind of a "role reversal" au. Aside from the writing being insanely good the plot and world building are so intriguing I'm completely obsessed.

- what did you bury before those hands pulled you from the earth by Draco_Sollicitus 18k words, rated M listen I'm cheesy you can pry a good Hades/Persephone au (with a twist) from my cold dead hands. V emotional and bittersweet.

- do you take this jerk to be (your one and only) by jatersade 55k words, rated T Ok I feel like everyone knows this Absolute Classic but I couldn't leave it out simply bc it's the first zukka fic I read and it's 90% of the reason my current brainrot is so severe.