#so since i did it with monty i did it with harper too

[popchoc]

Saw Eliza (Clarke) and Tasya (Echo) at Dutch Comic Con (HDCC) today. To answer your first question: yes, they both looked absolutely stunning!! 🤩🤭 As a bonus, the Q&A panel was also very fun and interesting. Didn't take notes (or pics 🙈), but here are some things that stood out to me:

Tasya auditioned for multiple roles before getting the part of Echo, one of them being Anya's. They both concluded not getting that part was for the better, since Anya died and all. After a few auditions she also started to wonder what these people wanted from her, until she read about Echo spitting Bellamy in the face and it all became clear to her.

Eliza's least fav season was season 3 (too dark and gross) and season 7 (she didn't like killing Bellamy). Tasya agreed.

Eliza is positive that Clarke would do back flips if she could, if that would impress Lexa, "because she loved her. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ " She's also sure Clarke could do back flips (while she herself can't).

Asked about their toughest scenes to shoot, Eliza mentioned the long night filming in the rain when Finn died, while Tasya talked about the running around barefood in nothing but bandages after Mount Weather. Emotionally, Tasya also mentioned having to tell Bellamy that Octavia died.

There was also a very funny story about being visited by an actual bear while filming in the mountains/woods. Apparently Eliza raised her hands at that moment and Tasya thought it was her (pretty strange) reaction to the bear. It wasn't till now that it turned out Eliza was just following the script and had no clue about that freaking bear coming up behind her. (Sorry, this is probably one of those "you had to be there (in the audience)" kind of moments - I swear it was funny though!)

If they could have played anyone else, Eliza would have picked Murphy, Tasya would have picked either Octavia, Lexa or Jaha.

When asked which character they'd "get back from the death" they named (after a little one on one 😄) Lexa, Bellamy, Monty, Harper, Jasper, Finn, King Roan and Luna. I was this close 🤏 to shouting Madi, as I'm sure they'd agree if they'd thought of her! (FYI us Dutchies are not the shouting through panels kind of audience) I did appreciate they started with Lexa and love that they thought of Luna though!!

When Eliza heard about Lexa's return in season 7, she was stoked, because she loved seeing and working with Alycia again, but then she was "urgh!!" after finding out it wasn't really Lexa - yet still she was happy "because Alycia is just so cool".

[bellamyblake]

Part 40 of the single!dad Bellamy fic is posted! Here are the people who asked to be tagged (if you want to be removed please let me know): @pendragaryen, @takamurasposts, @star-sky-earth, @blakecholls, @theturquoiseoillady, @sarcasticcommentsetc, @peggysousfan, @whiteoleander, @chickens474; (I unfortunately can’t tag everyone as some new Tumblr rule forbids me to do so! Sorry!)

(moodboard by @star-sky-earth​​​​):

The next few days go mostly smoothly or as much as they can, considering everything. Bellamy returns to work on Wednesday, though he could’ve had it off as well, simply because he had zero points in his ration card after spending more on cough syrup and extra bandages for Gus’ leg. Both Aurora and Clarke try to talk him out of it, let him have another day off, at the very least but he’s adamant.

Clarke knows he’s not okay-he still hurt and he hurt bad. His cough was only a little better but only because she forced him to drink the syrup three times a day despite him arguing with her constantly about it, but his back and his leg in particular, they were bad. The cut under his knee put even more of a strain on his walking abilities and despite having the brace on, he still used the cane or his crutch around the house.

He swallowed down all pain though, all because of Gus who...wasn’t doing well either.

The frost bite was healing, slowly but surely, as Clarke observed. She could wish it happened faster but it could’ve been from the lack of better nutritious food in his every day meals and the constant cold he was exposed to that his skin healed much slower than any case of frost bite should.

He wasn’t the only one, though. When all three of them had gone by the playground the other night, there were many other families, including Monty, Harper and Jordan who had suffered frostbite as well, worse than Gus even, that were struggling with their kids, helping them walk or mostly carrying them around-it broke her heart-all these young tiny souls, barely four or five and they were already in so much pain.

The playground looked more like a big quiet room with swings only swaying here and there and mostly consisting of concerned parents sitting next to each other with the kids on the benches, talking and exchanging strategies of how to help them, what paste to use or which pill to ease their pain, rather than a happy place for kids to run, scream, yell and just be...children.

It was much more a ghost town than anything else and it broke Clarke’s heart. 

The first few days they carried Gus around everywhere. Mostly Bellamy did, even though he should not be lifting anything heavy with that leg but the kid simply refused to let go of him. He’d wrap his tiny arms around his dad’s neck like a spider monkey and let Bellamy walk around the house with him like that all day long, even when they slept, he refused to let go. 

He couldn’t walk on his own at first but they had tried again last night and he had limped heavily. It was like what Clarke imagined learning how to walk again was before-Bellamy held him by his hands as Gus walked slowly between his dad’s ones.

Problem was neither was stable on their feet but Bellamy somehow kept on, for his son, he made his knee bend, he forced his leg to stay strong.

At first Gus had whimpered and refused to try anymore-it really did hurt him, Clarke knew from all she had read in her text books that frostbite hurt like hell, no matter the age. She had only treated one patient before with it but apparently in Factory it was a common thing that everyone had experienced at least once in their lives.

By now, she was pretty certain that Bellamy could’ve suffered some that unfortunate night too, but his skin had simply hardened and he didn’t feel it as much because when she changed the bandage on his shin, she noticed the redness of his toes too since his sock was miraculously off (or more like he didn’t have a clean pair since they were behind on laundry) and when she touched them he hadn’t felt much of anything. The tip of his fingers too were red and swollen, peeling a little but that could’ve been from the burns that were still healing and making his hands shake. 

They built a sort of routine since she knew that she can’t talk him out of going to work, she just had to do something to make sure she’s at least sending him off in a way he wasn’t hurting as much.

She started waking up early as well, checking his knee, helping him put his brace on, changing the bandages on his hands and wrapping his ribs, then giving him some cough syrup and forcing him to eat at least a toast and some biscuits. 

He hadn’t talked about work but she knew that something was different from before-he had started coming home more tired than he had before and he somehow had the rations to buy bread every other day as well as not just formula and the regular algae but more corn cans, beans and fruits and vegitables-a few tomatoes here, some oranges there and apples-the cheaper ones but they were something that she knew he couldn’t afford before.

She had also noticed Aurora stopped prodding him about it as well, which meant she probably knew what was going on and she was definitely not happy about it but somehow she tolerated it. Clarke had decided to let him come to her with it and not pressure him but she could see the mental and physical toll that he was suffering and she was worried.

He was barely dragging his skin in the evening and though he slept, she could see he was sadder, worried.

Part of it was because of Gus. In the past week since the accident on Level 2 and the unfortunate night they spent cuddled in the bathroom, he had grown quiet. Typically he was a shy boy out in the world, in day care and even on the playground but at home he was a blabbering happy cute little munchkin.

Now, though...now he wouldn’t utter a word. He just stopped talking or answered with only yes and no’s making everyone, including Clarke and Aurora worry. Clearly he’s been through something traumatic just like after the bombings when he had grown anxious and bursted out but now he was just...sad. He’d stopped eating too and if it wasn’t for Bellamy to patiently force him, he wouldn’t be convinced to try anything-not even the buscuits or chocolate that Aurora brought to try and boost his appetite.

Needless to say his feet hurt too and he’d spend his day sitting all the time-either in bed or in his chair. Bellamy insisted he still did homework-their teacher, miss Karen sent them tutorials on the old tablet Bellamy has had for ages, so Clarke went through things with him every morning.

Most children were still at home recovering anyway, so Gus wasn’t an exception-many parents were at home as well, suffering injuries like coughs and frostbite too, so they helped the kids out. The station was hit really hard after this particular electricity cut and every time Clarke went out with Bellamy and Gus on a short walk or to the mess hall, she could see people barely walking by, coughing all the time just like Bellamy, with various injuries, usually limping or clenching their hands to their chests in pain. 

It has been a week and the chancellor hadn’t done anything to help Factory medically-he still refused to reopen the small medbay office Clarke was running with Jackson or increase the rations or bring in medicine to the pharmacy which was by now almost empty safe for Tylenol. The only thing he did is let the electricty at night be cut to six hours instead of seven and he considered it a blessing. The Factory councilmen was an idiot who hid in his whole because he knew people were angry and never did anything to fight for their rights-in result, people were not just hurting, but dying. An old neighbour on Bellamy’s hallway had passed just last night from the exposure and the bad cough she had and Aurora whispered that one of her coworkers, a woman a little older than her had too passed out and died yesterday morning on their way there.

And Clarke.

Clarke wasn’t just angry. She was furious. 

But she’s also never felt more helpless.

Even at home she could do little for both Bellamy and Gus. She knew Bellamy was tough and by now used to his pain but watching Gus suffer...watching this tiny adorable kid who loved the world and took on it with his pure big heart wake up at night, moan and clench his dad’s shirt as he cried quietly...

That broke her.

She fiercely wanted to protect him, to be there for him and he let her-he liked when she tutored him and drew with him. He sat fascinated in her lap and asked for different animals she’d outline for him to color but he was still quiet and barely talkative. Making him eat was an effort she couldn’t succeed in and one that even Aurora failed in whenever she passed by.

But when Bellamy came home, that was a whole different thing-Gus would perk up a little and immideately throw his hands in the air and ask to be picked up. He’d wrap around him and refuse to let go-he could even be coaxed to eat or at least finish his bottle of formula. Bellamy would sit with him and watch him draw or read to him and he’d get calmer, fall asleep easier but he was still quiet, small, sad.

It broke all their hearts.

Now that Bellamy was opening up the door of the small appartment, Gus immideately turned his head to his dad who came in limping and tired-face covered in dark machine oil as well as most of his jumpsuit, his hair a mess sticking to his head, his fingers covered in bloody cuts.

But Gus didn’t care about any of that, he smiled a little and so did his dad. Aurora, who had come by to show Clarke some stitching tricks and brought her clothes to mend (which Bellamy disagreed with), looked up at them curiously.

“Hello, everyone.” he said as he closed the door behind him and carried the brown cloth bag filled with food on the table, taking off his jacket and reaching for Gus who was already begging for him. “Hey, little man.”

“Dada!” he almost moaned as Bellamy picked him up and he immideately wrapped his arms around his neck “Dada!”

“Hey, baby boy.” Bellamy stroked his head and peppered his face with kisses “Dad’s missed you.”  Gus leans his head on his shoulder and rests in his arms as Bellamy kisses the top of Clarke’s head and squeezes Aurora’s shoulder. 

“Hey.” Clarke whispers as she looks up at him while he carefully slides down on the chair Gus was occupying and immideately stretching his bad leg out. 

“You’re dirty.” Aurora comments “You should really clean before taking him in.”

“If you have any ideas about making him let go, I’m all ears, mom.” he says lightly, not a trace of annoyance in him, only worry and Clarke doesn’t miss how his hand never stops running up and down Gus’ back. “How was your day?”

“Good. We studied some, then I gave him a bath, then he watched some cartoons and drew.”

“Lunch?” Clarke shakes her head.

“He wouldn’t.” she whispers “Your mom tried too.” he nods and rocks the kid up and down a little before pulling away some. Gus keeps playing with the straps of his jumpsuit instead of looking at him and Bellamy just takes the time to hold him, let him know he’s here now and he’s safe, kiss his forehead again, smile at him, run his hand down his curls and clear his forehead so that he could look into his eyes.

“How was your day, buddy?”

“It was good.” he mumbles quietly, barely audible.

“Did you do your homework?” Gus nods as he keeps playing now with the zipper of his jacket “I hear you haven’t eaten again. You must be hungry?” Gus shakes his head.

“No, dada.” Bellamy drops his hand to his stomach and covers it whole, then leans into it and pretends to listen.

“Hm...I think your tummy disagrees.” he says “It just told me it’s empty, huh?” Gus looks up and smiles a little and Bellamy rubs his nose against his. Then tickles his sides a little and Gus squirms but fights his chuckles “Am I right?”

“No, dada.” he answers but he’s fooling around out of sheer stubborness by now.

“Are you sure, wait-let me see, oh, what was that tummy?” he pulls Gus up on his feet on his thighs and leans his ear to his sides and Gus wiggles in his arms, smiling a little, holding himself by wrapping his tiny fingers in Bellamy’s curls to steady his weak composture “Oh, oh what’s that Mister Tummy? Do I hear that you’re...you’re hungry?”

“Dada!!!” Gus wiggles but he’s laughing now, for the first time today, it sounds honest, sweet, like his old self. “Dada, no!”

“No, you say little Gus?” Bellamy asks perking up at little and Gus shakes his head.

“No, dada! No hunwgy!”

“Hmm-” he presses his ear to his tummy again “But I can hear Mister Tummy complain, he needs oh what is that? You want milk? Or maybe...some biscuits?”

“No, dada.” Gus shakes his head and Bellamy pulls up his shirt and pats his stomach that had blown out a little from the lack of proper meals, making Gus’ ribs stick out by his sides and Clarke wince-it wasn’t anything you wanted to see on a child and she knew Bellamy’s eyes darkened at it too, in a much angrier manner. 

“No?” Bellamy asks surprised and looks up at Gus who’s eyes are still sad but there was a sweet honest smile to his face that made Clarke’s heart clench again. “What if I told Mister Tummy and Mister Gus that I bought home something special?” he asks and reaches over to unwrap the cloth bag he always used for groceries revealing a small bottle of what Clarke knew by now was Algae refined oil, Factory’s only means of cooking any meal-it came in bottles sometimes or small metal jars looking like a white snow cream concotion in those cases, making it one of the most precious possessions in every appartment, as well as a small package of salt and some spices and...a bag of potatoes.

Now that made Aurora’s eyes widen as much as Clarke’s had-potatoes were expensive, maybe one of the most expensive goods in Factory coming even above the jerky they could only buy so much of and chocolate, which ration points had fallen since Alpha’s production of it increased during this part of the season. If Bellamy had managed to afford not just one but a small bag of what was about 6-7 potatoes that in reality wasn’t that much but was a lot for Factory, then it meant he had either agreed to work an extra day this weekend or had already done something stupidly dangerous to earn this neither of which she liked as an option.

“POTATOES!” Gus had exclaimed mouth agape, clapping his hands for a moment, happy at what he was seeing. “Dada, that’s potatoes!”

“I know, son.” Bellamy smilled kissing his tummy again, making him squirm in his arms “How would you like it if dad fried some tonight and put the special tasty herbs or added grandma’s sause, huh?” Gus was already nodding. It seemed that every Factory’s child favorite meal was french fries in comparison to Alpha’s pizza’s, burgers or donuts that most of the Factory population hasn’t even tasted once in their lives. “Would Gus like that?”

“Yes, dada, pwease!”

“Okay, come here now, give dad a big hug!” Gus threw himself in his arms again, wrapping his hands tightly behind his neck and his legs on both his sides that were still bruised even if a little better, mumbling a quiet “Thank you, dada.”

“You’re welcome, big boy.”

“You’re spoiling him.” Aurora mumbles quietly when she comes by his side and picks up the products, leaving the remaining contents of his bag on the table.

“Mom, wait, I’ll make them.” but Aurora simply waves her hand and shakes her head at him. 

“You’re barely standing on your feet as it is, just get some rest.”

“Mom, I-”

“I know you can do this, I know you can take care of your son, but right now, I’m telling you that you can simply sit there and be with him and Clarke while I make the french fries, okay?” he grumps at that but lets her run her hand through his curls, lean down and kiss the top of his head motherly. 

“You’re spoiling me now too.” he mumbles.

“What choice do I have, you’re my son.” she jokes but Clarke can see how warm and motherly it sounds still but she doesn’t prod about how he got it even if Clarke knew she was surprised too and decides she’ll be the one to ask later. Bellamy smiles, keeps rubbing Gus’ back until the boy slips from his arms, turns in his lap and picks up his drawing again. 

“What’s that, buddy?” he asks as he stretches out his hand and gestures for Clarke with his other hand to scoot closer, which she does by moving her chair next to them and letting him sneak a hand to her waist and pull her in for a brief hug as she carefully, secretly kisses the side of her head and rubs his nose against her forehead as Gus focuses on his drawing. 

“Clarke dwew me a tigew.” he mumbles as he picks up one of his pencils, the small pack that Clarke had bought him so many moons ago at the black market visit before she and Bellamy were anything close to what they were now and colors the body of the animal in orange. 

“Looks really nice.” Bellamy comments as he keeps swiping the curls away from his forehead. “What else did you do today?” Gus shrugs a little, going back to his quieter self and Bellamy exchanged a worried look with Clarke “What did you and Clarke learn?”

“We read about the Earth before...pwant and animals.”

“Did you like it?” Gus nods but doesn’t elaborate “What about reading? Did you guys read the poems miss Karen sent you? Did you practice on your letters?” Gus nods and this time moves up from his place, pushing some of the papers aside and picking up his only notebook-a blue one with his name meticiously written in block letters by his father, before opening it up and stopping at the last page Gus wrote in, showing him practicing the letters K and H in both cursive and regular handwriting and Bellamy’s chest swells with pride at how good his son was doing. 

“Much better than my ugly blocks, wouldn’t you say, little man?” Gus looks up and smiles some.

“They’re not ugly, dada.” he whispers “I like them.”

“Thank you, my boy.” he kisses his forehead again “Dad’s proud of you, this is really beautiful.” Gus blushes a little and looks down at his work again, much like his dad, bad at accepting a compliment and shrugging a little. 

“Gus messed up a wittle hewe-” he points at a shaky line on the letter H he did and Bellamy’s heart clenches in pain-he always thought that he had to be perfect in everything, it was a quality Gina possessed-her stubborn perfection into her work, much more consistent than his haphazard yet good mechanic work, though he wasn’t far behind-he too strived to be his best, for his family, for his coworkers, but he usually failed at it and hated that Gus felt like he has to perform at the highest level every time even though he was already amazing at his studies and progressed beyond any of his peers.

“No, you didn’t.” Bellamy assured “It’s great work.” Gus shrugs a little again, not truly believing him and Bellamy looks up at Clarke for support.

“He read a few sentences on his own today.” she praises sliding her hand on Gus’ back, softly rubbing it up and down. Behind them Aurora had already cut the potatoes and the room was starting to smell like fry potatoes which in turn made Clarke’s mouth water. 

“He did?” Bellamy looks up surprised before turning back to his boy “Did you do it, little man?” Gus doesn’t look up again, just nods a little “Which book did you read from?” Gus looks around the table again and moves up to grab the small hand-made book that Clarke had given him for his birthday that was 'The Giving Tree' which he had fallen in love with and asked his dad or Clarke to read it to him all the time. “Of course...your favorite at the moment.” Gus goes back to his drawing and now does the tiger’s stripes-he’s back to his quiet and sad self, refusing to really talk but never really letting go of his dad “Do you want to read some to dad?” Gus ponders for a moment, stops drawing and looks up briefly at his dad with his big sad brown-green eyes.

“Mawbe water?”

“Okay, we’ll do it later.” Bellamy strokes his head again and turns his attention back to Clarke. “Did he try to walk today?”

“Some...but he was in pain so he only took a few steps really.” she explained sadly “I need to change the bandage again but he doesn’t want me to unless you’re here too.” Bellamy knew that-Gus would only ever let Clarke look at his toes if Bellamy was here, so they changed it mostly in the morning and later in the evening when he came home.

“Okay, let’s do that now, shall we?” Clarke nods in agreement and Bellamy picks Gus up and turns him around, so they’re face to face. 

“Hey, little fella, we have to take care of your foot now, okay?” he says and Gus’ look changes from indifferent and sad to scared but he purses his lips and nods. “I’ll be here the whole time, alright? Then we’ll eat fries and play some, okay?” Gus nods, shoving his fingers in his mouth like he did when he was both hungry and nervous and let his dad put him sitting on the table. 

Clarke rubs his forearm gently, whispers that everything will be okay before she brings in her small bag of supplies that consisted of old cloth pieces turned bandages, the frostbite cream, some antiseptic and a needle and a thread that Gus thankfully didn’t need now. 

Bellamy takes off the slippers Gus used at home as well as the two pairs of socks to keep him warm enough and the kid shivers as he does that but says nothing. 

“You know what else dad got you today?” he asks Gus and the boy shakes his head, still munching on his fingers nervously. “A special something for a good boy.” Bellamy explains and Gus’ eyes grow sizes at it, the barest of excitement sparking in his eyes that follow his dad’s movement to the bag and watches him take out a small grey box. 

“Dada?” he asks confused when Bellamy carefully places it in his hands.

“Look up.”

“My birthday passed, dada.” he whispers back. “Gus don’t get mow pwesents now.”

“It’s not a present, it’s more like something you need which dad got you for when you go back to day care or the playground with us.” Gus seems confused but under his dad’s nudging look he opens up the box and Clarke sees a pair of new shoes, a size bigger than the one Gus was previously wearing. She knew that his old ones were torn up at the soles and too small for him. Bellamy had tried to duck tape them to secure them into a semi-decent condition but he’s been hoping to get him a new pair for months now.

And he finally had suceeded.

Only she had no idea where he got the rations for it and she was starting to worry.

“Shoes!” Gus exclaims, clearly very happy  with it. His hand hovers over them as if they’re the most precious possession but he doesn’t dare pick them up or take a better look at them. “But dada...how did you do it?” he asks and Bellamy rubs his thighs gently.

“Dad worked on fixing this special engine and he managed it so he got extra ration points.” it’s a lie or at least a half-lie, Clarke’s sure of it and even Gus seems a little surprised because he adds.

“Would you have to work Saturday again to make up fow it?” Bellamy nods with a sad smile.

“Yes, but only half a day and we can spent the afternoon together.” Gus nods more seriously now, he’s somewhat feeling both happy and sad at the same time and Clarke and Bellamy can both see it because they exchange a look before Bellamy speaks up again.

“What is it, buddy? Don’t you like them?” he asks “They’re easy to put on, no shoeslaces and they’ll fit you right up, I promise.” Gus shakes his head.

“It’s not dat, dada.” Bellamy waits a beat but Gus doesn’t add anything so he prompts him.

“Then what is it, big boy?”

“I just...wish you didn’t work that hard fow Gus.” 

“Oh, son-” Bellamy pulls him up to his chest and holds him tight “I don’t work as hard, I promise. I just want you to have all the things you need because I love you.”

“I love you too, dada.” Gus whispers when they pull back “But Gus pwefews you home on Satuwday than...shoes.” Bellamy’s eyes fill up and he pulls Gus into a tight hug again. They loved each other so much it was breaking Clarke’s heart and she noticed that Bellamy got teary himself and brushed his eyes away before he faced Gus again.

“I’ll keep that in mind, big boy, I promise.” Gus smiles a little at that and stares down at the shoes once more.

“I like them, dada.”

“You do?” Bellamy asks hope returning to his voice after he worried that this isn’t what would make Gus at least a little bit happy and the kid nods eagerly “Maybe later when Clarke changes your bandages we can walk some with them around the room, huh? Or down the hallway?” Gus kind of folds into himself at that and shrugs with uncertainty.

“Gus don’t know, dada.”

“You have to start walking again, Gus. I know it will hurt at first but Clarke says you’re healing fine, so with time, it will get easier, alright?” Gus doesn’t answer just keeps his head bowed down and Bellamy sighs, once again running his hand down his head and pulling him close to give him a small kiss on the forehead before removing the shoes from his lap and giving Clarke a small nod “Okay, let’s do this.”

“Can I have Wainbow too?” Gus asks and Bellamy whispers a small “Of course” before he stands up and limps to the bed where he fishes out the colorful stuffed giraffe Clarke gave him when he was last that sick. She loved that he was enjoying the stuffed toy so much that he wouldn’t really go anywhere without it. 

Bellamy lets him wrap his arms around it and push it close as Clarke approaches him and starts undoing the older bandage.

There was some blood on it from the big toe that had peeled the most hurt Gus worse than the others and Bellamy winces when he sees it, giving Clarke a concerned look but she shakes her head.

“It’s okay, it’s normal.” she promises but he doesn’t think any of what was happening to them was ever normal. He grits his teeth and tries to calm his anger down by simply giving her a nod in agreement, yet she squeezes his wrist before she takes a look at Gus’ toes. They definitely looked better than before but Bellamy couldn’t keep his eyes on them much as it hurt his heart and this was his child...his baby boy, who was in pain because the electricy went off for over twelve hours. 

He focuses on Gus instead and he notices that he’s squeezing Rainbow really hard and burying his face in the toy, trying not to cry as Clarke applied the cream paste and praised him for doing so well. 

Something in his chest twists and he takes Clarke’s hand in his gently stopping her.

“Wait a moment, will you?” he asks of her and she nods despite being surprised by his interruption “Gus, will you look at me, son?” he asks and it takes a moment before Gus unwraps himself from his tight grip around the toy and looks up, resting his chin atop Rainbow’s head. “Are you trying not to cry because of us?” Gus ponders a little and avoids his dad's eyes

“Gus, please look at me-” Bellamy insists, using his serious dad voice now that Clarke knew Gus never argued against and indeed now the kid looks up all big bright eyes filled with pain and misery “I know you hurt now, son, but if you’re trying to hide your pain away from us to protect us, you don’t have to do it, do you understand me?” Gus furrows his little eyebrows at his dad’s explanation “You don’t need to be strong all the time, okay?”

“Why not?” he counters surprising both Clarke and Bellamy “You do it all the time, dada.”

“That’s not true, Gus.”

“Yes, it is. You hide pain. You huwt all the time but you don’t cry.” Gus continues, raising his voice a little and Clarke hears Aurora turn around too, probably worried when she heard the argument but the pan was still sizzling which meant her focus was elsewhere. “You never cwy.”

“Of course I do.” he insists “I cry all the time when it hurts me too much.” Gus doesn’t seem convinced so Bellamy continues “I just don’t do it when you’re here because I don’t want you to worry, but I cry, you can ask grandma and Clarke, they have seen me.” Gus looks at Clarke who nods a little. “You can’t swallow your pain down, Gus.” Bellamy insists “If you do...it will turn into this dark horrible thing that you carry inside you all the time. It’s like...a monster of sorts, that makes you angry and sad. And I know you’re sad now, son and it’s okay to be sad too just...I need you to know that you can cry or whimper or scream if it’s too much and not be ashamed to do so, okay?”

Gus ponders on it for a moment.

“But you’re so strong, dada.”

“There’s strength in the tears too, there’s strength in showing your pain, okay?” Bellamy keeps on and Gus, the smart boy that he was, seems to be thinking over his words and letting them sink in a little “I’m sorry that I made you think otherwise. I’m sorry that you thought you have to just take it all the time without showing any emotion. That is not the right thing.”

“You really cwy?” Gus asks carefully.

“Yes I do.”

“It urts you?” Gus asks again and Bellamy nods “It urts you like it urts me?”

“Yes.” Bellamy admits and feels like they’re finally making some break through after all the days since the accident. Gus needed to have this conversation, obviously, as painful as it was. 

“Dada-” he asks next and Clarke uses the distraction of their conversation to wrap his toes and foot gently. “Will I...Will Gus limp forever like you?” she suddenly stops her work upon hearing that and feels Bellamy freeze next to her. 

She watches him clench his jaw in a desperate attempt to probably force himself not to break down as he looked into Gus’ sad eyes and then finally cleared his throat and spoke up.

“No, son. Where did you get this idea?” Gus shrugs a little. “You will heal, you already are healing, you will be okay. It is not a permanent thing, alright?”

“And it will stop hurting?”

“Yes, it will, Gus. It will all go away and you will walk like before.” he turns to Clarke and adds “Right?”

“Absolutely.” Clarke promises as she finishes his bandage and pats his knee “You will recover, Gus.” it seemed like depiste them already talking about it and telling him everything will be alright, he didn’t believe it, especially since it took him longer to heal up “You need to try and walk and eat, though, okay? Your body needs the strength to help the wounds close faster so your toes feel better, alright?”

“You’ll try to eat for us, right, Gus?” Bellamy asks and the kids nods. 

“Gus just don’t feel much like it, dada.”

“I know, but you need to.” Gus ponders a little, seemingly still lost in thoughts and Bellamy prompts him “Do you have other questions? Something you want to ask us?”

“If Gus gotta eat mow to get better...does that mean if you eat mow your leg will heal too, dada?” Bellamy winces at that and bows his head down for a moment feeling Clarke’s hand on his elbow squeezing it tightly. 

“It doesn’t really work like that, Gus.” Clarke answers for him but Bellamy gives her a look suggesting that he’s got that.

“My injury is different, Gus.” he tries explaining “It can’t really...get better, okay?” Gus’ face falls at that and his eyes well with tears which makes Bellamy wince “But that’s why I got Clarke here and grandma and you too, helping me out when I’m tired or in pain, okay?” Gus doesn’t seem to like this answer.

“You’ll always huwt then, dada?” he asks and Bellamy swallows hard.

“I...yes, I will.” Bellamy admits, not really wanting to lie to his son after everything they’ve been through. “But I will be okay. It’s not always that hard, it doesn’t always hurt.” he lies and Clarke knows that he does but she just doesn’t have it in her to say anything so she just looks away for a moment trying to compose herself.

“Dada...” he begins again but stops himself as if wondering wheather or not he should actually keep going “You got huwt because...because that group...wanted better things for us?”

“Yes...yes that’s right.” Bellamy answers, furrowing his eyebrows a little, not sure that he gets where Gus was going with that “But we’ve talked about how what they did wasn’t the right way, remember?”

“Because they bombed the squawe?”

“Yes.”

“And others got huwt...not just Alpha or wolves but us too?” Bellamy nods. 

“They didn’t have the right...the right approach, the better way of doing things. Remember how we’ve talked that when someone teases you at school, you can’t fight back, you have to be smart and strong, defend yourself in other ways, maybe using your words, rather than your fists?” Gus nods a little but his mind is obviously somewhere else.

“They were...killed those people, right, dada? Floated?” Bellamy nods and Gus keeps staring somewhere at the floor before he speaks up again “And me and my fwiends and Jowdan too...we got huwt because electricity stopped?”

“Yes, that’s true.”

“But...electricity stops every night, right?” Bellamy nods again “But only in Factory and Farm, not in Alpha. It was warm when we were in Clarke’s place.”

“Yes, son.” then Gus finally looks up and stares into Bellamy’s eyes, confusion but also frustration written all over his face.

“Why, dada?” he asks and Clarke sees Bellamy’s hands fall to his lap and him swallow hard “Why is it bad for us but not for them?” Clarke didn’t envy Bellamy right now-how does he exlpain to a four year old kid who’s just coming to realize what it means to actually live in Factory?

“It’s...it’s complicated, Gus.” Bellamy says not sure how to continue really and Clarke sees with her periphery vision that Aurora takes the pan off the hot plate and brings in three steaming plates of french fries covered in some herbs with her special kutchup-like sauce on the side, placing them before them.

“Gus-” she calls him out as she sits down on the only empty chair and smiles softly at her grandson, reaching out to cup his cheek “You know your dad used to ask me the same questions you’re doing now and I didn’t always know how to answer.” he looks at her curiously and Bellamy exhales a little at her intervening as well, not sure he could’ve handled it on his own. Clarke herself had absolutely no idea what to say to Gus’ question either and she, least of all, could explain how come Alpha was so much better off than Factory. “I used to ask my dad too why we starved while Alpha thrived back when I was your age.” Aurora continues patiently.

“Weally?”

“Yes. And the truth is...the more you grow up the more you’ll ask yourself these things and why certain stations are worse off than others. That is after all what these people who bombed the square were trying to understand too and provoke the chancellor to change it.”

“But he didn’t?”

“No, he didn’t. It only got worse for us because violence is not the way.” Aurora continues “You remember how you learned about the stations coming together for the Unity Days celebrations, right?” Gus nods reaching out mindlessly to pick up a french fry and pop it in his mouth, which made Bellamy very happy and he pushed the plate closer to Gus, who immideately reached for another before having even chewed the first one properly. 

“They all came to be from diffewent contwies that inhabitit the Eawth?”

“That’s right. And countries back then were much like what the Ark is now-some were poorer than others, some had doctors and others didn’t, some had electricity and others only used candles.” Gus ponders about that for a while.

“But the stowy says that when the Ark came togethew we were all to be the same.”

“That’s right, son-” Bellamy chimes in now too as he watches Gus stuff his mouth with the potatoes and feels his heart finally ease a little in his chest. He wouldn’t touch that plate, wouldn’t eat for days if it meant his son would go back to his healthier habits.”But it didn’t really work that way.”

“It’s not faiw.” Gus finally says after thinking a little bit on his dad and grandma’s words “Rait, dada?”

“No, it isn’t, son but...there is hope.” he looks up at Clarke and his mom.

“Howpe?”

“Yes. We may not be able to change the system but we can still fight it and not in a violent way like the Arrowheads. People...change-there are kind and decent men and women on Alpha, like Clarke-” Gus turns to her and she smiles at him, rubbing his leg up and down softly “They understand the inequality and want to help us. There are kinder guards too, not all of them are wolves. There are...people who try their best despite the way our system works to erase the line separating us.” Gus looks up at his dad and he leans down to kiss his forehead “Dad tries too, even if he isn’t too great at it. One day...I hope for you to be able to do the same-to help others or work something that you enjoy but that helps everyone regardless of their station.”

“I will, dada.” Gus says enthusiastically “Gus will be a doctor!” he exclaims patting his now greasy, covered in spices hands, his adorable face messy with the red sause but his eyes beaming with a light that hadn’t been present in the past week. “Gus will help othews laik Clarke.”

“Whatever you want, son.” Bellamy assures rubbing his head softly and pushing him to his chest “Dad, grandma and Clarke-” he looks up at her with another smile “We’ll always be here to support you, okay?”

“Awkay, dada.”

“Never let your spark go out, kid. Always remember to be kind, to be good. No matter how hard it gets, this is what matters, do you understand?” Bellamy adds and Gus turns around a little covering his chest with his tiny hand and smiling some.

“Like you, dada?”

“I’m not always right or good, but I try. I don’t want you to be like me, Gus-” at that the kid furrows his eyebrows a little in confusion and Bellamy pushes the curls away from his forehead “I want you you to be yourself, okay? To make your own path in life and do what you feel is right in your heart.” he pats Gus chest next and the kid looks down at his dad’s patched up finger on himself. “Even if what you want disagrees with my opinion.”

“Awkway, dada.” Gus agrees and Clarke smiles as she watches them-Bellamy loved his boy so much it was unreal but Gus too adored his dad to the point where watching them have a conversation like this brought Clarke to tears and she had to look away and brush at them a little, hoping no one would catch her even if she did notice Aurora giving her a look.

“Now you won’t get to do any of this if you don’t eat, so come on, dad wants to see you finish this plate.” Bellamy turns his attention back to the food and Gus picks up another potato from the half-destroyed plate.

“What about you,dada?”

“Dad will eat too, here-” he picks one and munches on it but Clarke and Aurora exchange a look, knowing well-enough he’s simply trying to distract the kid, so Clarke moves her chair closer and elbows him in the ribs a little, pushing her plate in his direction.

“You won’t get away with this, Bellamy. You eat too.” she insists. He rolls his eyes in pretend annoyance but sneaks his hand to hers and squeezes her fingers.

“And you won’t get away with it either, princess.” he whispers seriously.

“Dada, when we eat can we play doctow some?” Gus asks almost finishing his plate and looking up at both Clarke and Bellamy whose faces were so close and itching for a kiss but that split away the moment the kid turned his attention back to them. Sneaking around was harder than they had thought and the only time they could kiss and hold each other or...like this morning when Bellamy pumped her in with his fingers after moving Gus to his own bed, were...a rarity. Especially in this past week when Gus insisted he slept with them, refused to let go of his dad and only after he was sound asleep could they move closer and kiss or simply hold each other. It’s not that Gus was a burden, on the contrary, Clarke loved waking up feeling his warmth and small soft baby breath on her neck, it was that they had to hide it from him. In a way there was a thrill in it but mostly Clarke and she was sure Bellamy too, wanted to be free in expressing their emotions.

They knew they had to talk to him soon about it, but they were being patient in and had decided to wait until he recovers and feels a little better before they shook his already unstable world.

“Yes we can, sweet face.” Clarke answers for Bellamy who is too stunned at the kid’s request, finally seeing some of his old behavior reappear and being utterly lost at words “In fact, you can help me take a look at dad and his leg, listen to his lungs and check his cough, how about that?”

“Yes, Clarke, Gus will help!”

“What are you two now-ganging up on poor old me?” Bellamy jokes as he buries his nose in Gus’ curls and rubs against his head while his fingers move to his sides and tickle him. His plate was now empty and Bellamy carefully nudged the other one in his direction, hoping the kid would eat more while his mom shook her head at him while fixing a shirt that she had brought over for Clarke to mend. She had been coming every day, showing Clarke some stitches and bringing in clothes for her to work on as a way of getting rations on her behalf too. She still didn’t have an ID, Bellamy knew it’d be months probably before the Ark approved of one, if they did, but she got at least temporary papers that he had brought in the other night which didn’t guarantee or give her any privilleges but at least she wasn’t an absolute ghost in this station.

They stated she applied for citizentship in Factory station but he knew that in cases like hers the paperwork was dragged on purpose, so people who were punished the way she was, would have no way of receiving rations or working at all. If she was to marry someone then the documents and new IDs would be done the same day but now...now he knew Alpha was going to drag this for as long as they could, leaving Clarke helpless.

Well...not totally helpless, he was here and so was Aurora. She brought her clothes and with the rations Clarke earned she earned a bowl of algae which was something in these conditions. He knew Clarke wasn’t happy about it, she always wanted to do more, to be of a better help to them and despite his reassurances he knew she felt bad.

And he had every intentions of changing it or at least convincing her that things will look up, they just needed time. 

Just as Bellamy is about to force Clarke to eat some too, there’s a knock on the door and all three of them jump in their seats a little. Gus immideatelly wraps his arms around his dad’s neck in a dead-defying grip and Bellamy glances at his mom who furrows his eyebrows.

“Are you expecting someone?” she asks and Bellamy shakes his head when the knock continues, frantically, reminding him of the guards that forced themselves into his home and beat the crap out of him in front of his son.

“Dada!” Gus whimpers in his ear and Bellamy simply wraps his arm tight around the kid as he forces himself up on his feet.

“Don’t worry, kiddo, everything will be fine.”

“Bellamy-” Clarke tries too but he shoots her a look.

“Stay where you are, princess.” it doesn’t come as an order, more like a plead, hoping she won’t be stubborn enough to try and fight him on it and thankfully though she was half-up, she recognizes the desperation in his voice and sits back down.

Bellamy carefully walks to the door and wraps his arm around the handle.

[theredpharaoah]

The issue with trying to construct shows where no form of oppression exists, is that the people creating it come from oppressed societies and don’t adequately check themselves. Like Jaha becoming a villain made sense, but Pike not being able to see the Grounders were ppl just like him didn’t. When we’re introduced to Pike he’s characterized as compassionate and kinda father-figure like. And even people like Miller, Jackson, Indra, and Gaia - moreso used as tools for other characters’ development as opposed to their own. Wells is literally the “black guy always dies first” trope. And even Lincoln’s character has some uncomfortable stuff going on. It’s not purposeful or consciously done - it’s designed so it doesn’t have to be. We don’t have a main character who’s black, of color, or indigenous that has actual development and is a major part of the plot. Monty didn’t really develop at all - neither did Gaia. Indra didn’t really develop, so much as she considered Skaikru family and opened herself up to them. And the death of cultures was so sad - why did all the stations on the Ark settle on English? They had nothing but time - they should’ve learned every language they could. The erasure of all the religions - it would’ve been cool to see how Grounder clans incorporated Becca and the Nightbloods into their religions. Maybe they saw Becca and the Commanders as Maitreya, Kalki, Jesus, etc. You’ve got to remember that’s it’s only been 100 years since the bombs went off. Which happened in like 2030(lol, how bleak). There’s no way all of that just disappears. The culture of the militant Ark is one thing, but the Grounder cultures should’ve retained a lot more. Also, no hijabis, no other languages(Latin and trig doesn’t count), etc. The Commander’s Regalia clearly has Indian influences, but that’s about it. There’s a lot of “eastern” influences in Polis and Grounder culture but nothing concrete. If they’d done the prequel, the second commander being Indian- and so they introduced those parts of the Commander’s Regalia - would’ve been so cool. But I also thought it was dumb that Calliope wasn’t the second commander. Jason essentially tried to recreate the mid season 2 Clarke/Lexa dynamic with Becca and Calliope. As a way to legitimize not giving Clarke the flame, but all it did was make me think that both Calliope and Clarke should’ve gotten the flame. They were clearly being implied as heirs to their respective mentors. Honestly, Lexa should’ve taken Clarke as her second. That could’ve been a really easy way to incorporate her and Skaikru into Grounder culture. Like the usual things people do in alliances were just ignored here. Lexa should’ve commanded a person from each of the 12 clans to come to Polis and take a second - maybe even have several do it. If she didn’t want to weaken Clarke’s position by having her serve Lexa - Luna was an option. Octavia’s training was over. Roan could’ve trained Bellamy(We DESERVED bi Bellamy) or Monty, Miller, Harper, Raven, Murphy, or Jasper(WE DESERVED Monsper but I’m thinking Monty and Roan could’ve been cute too). Like Raven and Murphy having to enter the Order of the Flame under Titus? Having Abby and Jackson create a “school”/safe zone of Mt. Weather where they trained Grounder healers to be doctors. That too. They didn’t leverage their medical/technological superiority NEARLY enough. Like Sinclair and Raven could’ve showed them how to turn the heaters in Polis on or something. No political marriages either. I feel like Jason got so into the sci-fi, he kinda forgot what I felt like really pulled a lot of people into the 100 - that Lord of The Flies, Animal Farm appeal with a sci-fi twist. I loved the politics and strategy of the 100 in a post-apocalyptic sci-fi setting. He didn’t balance it well and he veered way too far into Sci-fi. And also, a lot of the characterization and depth we got in the first 2 seasons was lost. You really need to see Characters doing meaningless things that don’t always push the plot - some filler is good!

[cs-and-bellarke]

Bellarke AU: Pain?

Bellamy disappears without a trace and Clarke tried everything to find him but she couldn't, Bellamy had gotten taken and then he escaped. Do Bellamy and Clarke tell each other how they feel or do they just go on with being Co-Leaders?

Ao3, FF

Clarke’s P.O.V

Have you lost someone that you loved so much that it killed you once they were gone? You saw them even when you knew they were not there and no matter how much you remind yourself  that they are gone...they won’t go away. Bellamy disappeared 6 months ago and there has been no trace of him, for the first 3 months I looked nonstop until I couldn’t anymore, I never got to tell him how much I loved him and I wish I had but it’s too late now.

I am running camp by myself now and I miss him so much...Monty, Jasper, Murphy, Harper, and all of my other friends think he was taken by Lexa...my ex-girlfriend. I broke up with her because it was either I move my camp closer to her or I leave my camp completely...she also wanted me to stop talking to Bellamy all together. It wasn’t worth it, I'd rather still talk to Bellamy and run this camp with him then be with her, but would she really take him away from me like that. Octavia sometimes still goes out and looks for him when she is missing him the most, I would go with her but I have the camp to run and I know every time she goes...she comes back with nothing, and I can’t put myself through that.

We’re having a little celebration for Monty and Jasper because it’s another year of them being friends and it’s an excuse to drink moonshine and party. I wish I could say that I will for sure have fun but I can’t because my best friend and the man I love isn’t here with me, he isn’t here to make me smile and have a good time so I don’t know if I will without him. I go out to the med bay to see how the sick are holding up, they are doing okay and hopefully they will be out of the bay soon, I have even more work since Bellamy disappeared and I wish I had him, I wish I could find him, and I wish I could have told him how I felt about him.

Jasper comes into the med bay and asks “hey, are you okay?”

“Yeah Jas I’m just busy and I miss Bellamy” I tell him.

“I know you miss him, we all do but you need a break...come to the party tonight and calm down, relax”

“How can I relax when Bellamy’s gone”

How can I be able to relax when the one person I love the most has been missing for 6 months and no one…not a single person has been able to find any trace of him. How can you disappear without a trace like that? How could he disappear at all? It's funny to think about now because he used to hate me and he thought I most likely hated him but the truth is that I never hated him even when I wanted to…I never could. When we first met I didn’t like him very much and I have never lied about that but as time went on things changed and when he wasn’t around I wanted him around and when he was around I never wanted him to leave. He just disappeared and no one found anything that could show where he went or what happened to him. Why was he taken from me? Why was he taken at all?

“Clarke, I know you miss him but we all do” Jasper says to me.

“I don’t just miss him, I loved him and I needed him, I knew if I had him by my side then I could do this life thing but without him I don’t think that I can” I say to Jasper as I cry to him.

“You loved him?”

“Yes, I fell in love with him and now he is gone”

“Are you suicidal?”

“It’s not the fact I want to die, it’s the fact that I don’t want to live without him”

“I think he’s still alive Clarke” he says as he puts his hand on my shoulder. “If he wasn’t and someone took him because he disappeared without a trace they would have sent his body back on a silver platter”

“You still think Lexa did this?” I asked him.

“You broke up with Lexa and Lexa knew how Bellamy felt for you, god everybody knew how he felt about you, anyway and she was jealous because she knew he had a shot with you and that she lost her chance”

“How did he feel for me?”

“It’s not my place to tell you Clarke, but what I can tell you is that he cared for you a lot more than anyone else”

“More than O?”

“He cares about you in a completely different way, so in a way…yeah”

Bellamy’s P.O.V

6 months. It’s been 6 months since I was taken, and it has been 6 months since I saw Clarke, O, Jasper, Monty, Murphy, and everyone else. I am worried about all of them and I know they are worried about me or they think I’m dead, I have been locked in a cage for 6 months and I don’t know why they are keeping me alive. I don’t know who is behind this but I have a feeling that it’s Clarke’s ex girlfriend Lexa, she never liked me and she never will and because Clarke broke up with her she thinks I have a shot and she knows that she doesn’t have a shot with Clarke anymore. I hate not knowing if they are okay, I hate not knowing if Clarke is okay and I wish I knew and I wish I knew O was okay as well. Everything was almost perfect and then someone kidnapped me and held me in a cell for 6 months, I almost had the guts to tell Clarke how I feel about her and then someone knocked me out and when I woke up I’m in a cell.

All I want is to be able to make it home to Clarke and finally hold her in my arms again and tell her how I feel without chickening out, because that is all I want to do. I never got the chance to tell her when she was right in front of me because I was scared but I’m tired of being scared, I just want to be able to tell her and I hope she feels the same for me. I have been trying to find ways out of the damn cell and I can’t find a way, they feed me every 2 days and give me a cup of water everyday then they leave and don’t come back until the next day.

Why are they keeping me alive? What is the reason they want me alive? What am I of value to them? All these questions I have and none are answered because I don’t know who is doing this all I have is what I believe which I could be wrong. As I am thinking of who could be keeping me in a cell making sure I am fed and have water after they kidnapped me for some reason one of the guards came in.

He opens my cell and says nothing, he ties my hands behind my back and we walk across a courtyard and into a tower. Why didn’t they blindfold me? I don’t know but because they didn’t I know where I am and I know who is behind this and I was right it was…Lexa, I am in Polis.

They sit me in front of a throne and all I have is a fucking smile on my face because this is funny as hell that she kidnapped me just to keep me in a cell to make my people and the people I love think I am dead. “Welcome Bellamy,” Lexa says to me.

“What the fuck is this? You kidnapped me just to keep me in a cell for 6 months…long enough to make my people and the people I love think I am dead and for what?”

“So I can bring you back alive and she will take me back”

“Oh wow…so this is about Clarke”

“Who would it be about? Of course it’s about Clarke and when I take you back to your people you will not tell her it was me who took you and you will tell her I found you and helped you heal then I brought you home”

“And what if I don’t?” I asked her with a smile on my face.

“Then I will kill you and go to your camp and tell them I found your dead body and get Clarke back that way” she says to me.

I didn't say anything to her and I found a way to get out, there was a knife right next to me and so I took it and cut the rope that was around my hands without Lexa knowing as she was talking to her guards. They leave the room and I knew of a secret door and I take it and make my way to the forest to get the fuck out of here, I ran and I didn’t look back.

I ran…I ran for so long and I didn’t stop until I got back to the camp.

Clarke’s P.O.V

I ended up going to the party to make Jasper happy, it was almost sunrise by the time most of the kids went to bed, there were still some out and talking and drinking. I drank quite a bit but I had sobered up a little bit so I wasn’t drunk, just tipsy. I was about to go to bed when one of the guys who was watching the gate said that someone was out there, I opened the gate and I couldn’t believe who was standing on the other side of it.

“Bellamy?” I said in disbelief.

“Princess,” he said back.

“You're alive” I say to him as I hug him as tight as I can.

“I’m alive, I’m okay” He says and he hugs me as tight as I am hugging him.

“What happened to you?”

“I was taken by Lexa”

“Jasper was right? Oh my god”

“Where is O?” he asked me.

“Asleep, go see her just meet me back in my tent” I tell him.

Bellamy agreed and I went back to my tent to wait for him to come in so we could talk, seeing him stand outside of the gates of camp made my heart stop beating and hugging him made me stop breathing. I need to tell him how I feel about him and tell him how much he means to me because if I don’t then I never will and I need to, I love him so much and he needs to know. Meeting Bellamy was one of the best things that has happened to me and yeah I didn’t like him at first but I ended up loving him anyway and I wouldn’t ask for anything different. He brought light into my life and nothing could take that light away unless they took him away and I am going to kill Lexa for taking my light away. I sat down on my cot and started sketching, I didn’t know what I was sketching at first until I realized that it was the beginning of a face…Bellamy’s face. Ever since Bellamy went missing I started drawing him all the time and it was because I missed him and loved him so much and that was how I coped with him being gone.

For 6 months he was gone and I thought I would never see him again, I had hoped that I would but part of me honestly thought I was never going to see him again. When I saw him at the gate all that hope I had was turned into love for the man in front of me, he was alive and breathing and he wasn’t dead. When I hugged him I had gotten the best feeling in my chest to know it wasn’t in my head that Bellamy was alive and breathing and wasn’t dead, and I know Octavia will be almost as happy as I am that Bellamy was here and safe and okay after 6 months of him being missing. Drawing was my only escape from feeling the pain and sadness that I felt when Bellamy went missing and I love him but when I was drawing it was like he was here with me as I did. I would draw him every chance I got because I didn’t feel the pain of him being gone when I did but as soon as I was done I felt the pain and sadness all over again.

I ended up falling asleep by the time Bellamy had come in my tent and how I knew he came in was I heard him breathing and I felt him come over to the cot and cover me up and kisses the top of my head. I had woken up at this point and he sits down at the end of my cot still thinking I am asleep and he starts talking…

“You have no idea how much I have missed you, yeah I know me of all people missed the sassy princess but I did…a lot. You were the one I was trying to get back to the most and I didn’t know if I was going to be able to when I was first taken; but as time went on and they kept me alive I knew it was possible. I know you probably can’t hear me which might be a good thing but when I was in that cell I wasn’t really worried about O, I was but I wasn’t, I was worried about you and I know you can take care of yourself but I was constantly worried about you. Anyway I’ll leave you be but when you wake up come get me” he said to me.

So I pretend to talk in my sleep “stay…” I said.

“Princess you awake?” he asked.

I grabbed his hand but I made sure he thinks I am asleep and I think he got what I was trying to tell him and he ended up climbing into my cot right next to me and had wrapped his arms around me. I felt so safe in his arms, I never wanted him to take his arm away and I want to hold me forever, I love him so much and he feels like home. I end up hearing Bellamy start snoring slightly and that made me happy to hear that he is sleeping, I end up falling asleep again not too long after hearing Bellamy.

*Next day*

When I woke up and Bellamy was still asleep with his arm wrapped around me, I felt safe in his arms and I wanted nothing to change. I want him to hold me and never ever let me go, have you ever felt that kind of love for someone? I just layed there watching him sleep still in disbelief that he is home safe and sound in my arms, he was missing for 6 months and now he is home and breathing. Lexa took him and made me and the whole camp think he was dead and for what? To make me suffer then well done because she did and I will kill her for what she has done, not only taking him hurt me but his sister and the kids at camp that looked up to him.

He looks so peaceful when he sleeps and it looks like nothing can hurt him but the awful painful truth is that he was hurt, I don’t know what she did to him but what I do know is that whatever she did do she is going to pay for it. I just watch him breathing and hoping that he never stops breathing, seeing him breathing makes me want to stay breathing. He then opens his eyes and locks eyes with me and then he smiles. “How long have you been awake?” he asks.

“Not long, we need to talk” I say to him with a small smile.

“I know we do, I missed you”

“I missed you too, nothing was right without you, most of the time I didn’t even know what I was doing…I was numb without you”

“Clarke…”

“Don’t, please”

I sit up and turn my back towards him, I don’t want him to say anything…I don’t want him to say that he cares but he doesn’t love me the way I love him and if he did say that then I think it would kill me. “Clarke…look at me” he says but I don’t and I look at the floor. “Please look at me” he asked again and I still didn't look at him so he put his hand on my cheek and made me look at him. “What do you mean you felt numb?” he asked me but before I could answer someone outside was screaming.

We ran over to them to see if they were okay and what was going on and of course someone was training and was by mistake shot, they took the girl who was shot to the med bay and I turn to Bellamy “We’ll talk later” I tell him as I turn and walk to the med bay.

Bellamy’s P.O.V

Just my fucking luck that someone would get hurt when I am trying to talk to Clarke about something important, she was about to answer my question when someone was mistakenly shot. She told me that we would talk later but I didn’t want to talk later…I wanted to talk now but I walked away and went to make sure the wall was up to date. As time passed and Clarke was still working on the girl I knew that most likely the girl would not make it and Clarke would be a mess afterwards, I had also had time to catch up with Miller.

An hour goes by and Clarke comes out of the bay crying, she walked right past me out of the gate, of course I ran after her and she stopped running when we got to the waterfall. She sat on a log and cried, then she screamed as loud as she could and I think it made her feel a little better. “Did that make you feel better?” I asked her when she sat back down.

“What are you doing here?” she asks me while trying to hide the fact that she was crying.

“You ran out of camp, I wanted to make sure you were okay” I tell her as I walk over to her.

“I’m fine”

“No you’re not, she died didn’t she”

“Yeah she did, she was only 16”

“Come here”

I pull her close to me and she wraps her arms around me and she starts crying even more and I let her. I hate to see her so upset but as she cries in my arms I try to memorize the feeling of her in my arms and her letting herself fall apart in my arms. She sits up and looks at me and then she starts smiling and it was the most beautiful thing that I could see. “Thank you for being here” she says.

“Well I wasn’t going to let you come out here alone” I tell her as I keep her against my chest.

“We have to get back to camp” she says as she starts to get up but I didn’t want to go back yet, I didn’t want to let her go and I didn’t want to make this moment disappear.

“Wait” I say as I grab her wrist and bring her back down next to me. She looked at me with a question in her eyes like she was asking ‘what?’. “We need to talk and I want you to listen to me and what I am saying and when I am done then you can say whatever you want” I say to her, she nods and I place her hands on mine. “When I went missing the only thing that I was thinking of was trying to get back to you, I knew O would be fine and I know you can take care of yourself but I was constantly worried about you. When I escaped and I was running through the woods the only thing that kept me going was getting back to you and then I saw you and I was beyond happy” She is looking at me with tears in her eyes. “Before Lexa took me I was getting up the courage to tell you something and the day I was going to she took me, and what scared me the most was the fact I might’ve not been able to ever tell you” I say as I look down, our hand were still intertwined.

“Tell me what?” she asks as she puts one hand on my face and makes me look her in the eyes.

“That I am in love with you” I said to her, she looked shocked at first and then her expression softened and a smile appeared on her face. “I love you so much”

“I…I love you too” she says and I couldn’t help but smile at her. She then pulls me down to her and our lips connect with fire and compassion. As it gets deeper and hotter the more I wanted more so I knew I had to break the kiss so I did.

“We need to get back to camp so I can show you how much I love you in my tent” I say to her and with that she and I left hand in hand until we got back to the gate and she ran to my tent so I ran after her.

Writer’s P.O.V (Smut warning)

Bellamy and Clarke enter his tent and as soon as the flap of the tent is closed their hands are all over each other, his hands move over her waist and hips pulling her closer to him. Her hands were round his neck and when she felt his arms go around right under her ass she jumped up putting her legs around his waist. He carries her over to the makeshift bed and lays her down, he abandons his shirt and then he helps her take hers off along with her bra, he stops for a minute and just looks at Clarke like she is the only thing in the world. “You sure you want this” he asks her. Without answering she pulls him back down on her kissing him with as much force as she could and flips them so that she is on top, she pulls off her pants and then sits on Bellamy’s lap again and starts rocking against him. His hands land on her hips as she rocks and then he is pushing his hips up towards her.

As they are grinding on each other small moans and groans fill the tent, Clarke tugs on Bellamy’s belt and when she gets it off of him she throws it across the room. Bellamy chuckled and helped her get his pants off, after they were off Bellamy flipped them back over so that he was on top, his kisses started getting sloppy and kind of all over the place. He pauses and looks at her so he can memorize what she looks like when she is under him like that, she looks at him and smiles. He leans down and locks his lips with hers and he goes slow at first then he moves from her lips to her jaw and then her neck and he hits her sweet spot so now he knows where to mark her. He makes his way down her body with sloppy kisses until he hits the edge of her underwear, he slides them down her legs while leaving kisses on her inner thigh making Clarke moan softly. He moves his thumb over her clit a couple times make Clarke gasp from the unexpected touch, Bellamy smirks and then he goes down and starts sucking on her clit. She start to arch her back because of the pleasure she feels throughout her body,

Bellamy places two fingers in her making her gasp and moan, he is sucking and fingering her all in a rhythm making her legs shake, Clarke grabs Bellamy’s beautiful curls and tugs as the orgasm comes to the surface. She releases and Bellamy licks it every drop of her juices that she had released, she is breathing heavy but she still wants more of Bellamy. “Tell me what you want” Bellamy tells her, knowing that she wasn’t finished with him.

“You…I want you inside me, and not just your fingers” She said to him as she bit her bottom lip. Bellamy knew what he had to do so he takes off his underwear and lines himself up with her entrance and when he enters her she gasps because she didn’t realize how big he was until he was inside her. But she wasn’t complaining. He starts at a slow rhythm making Clarke arch her back and he knows she wants him to go faster but he is waiting for her to beg him to move faster. “Bellamy…please” she says.

“Tell me what you want, '' he says to her as he keeps his rhythm.

“Faster please” and with that he speeds up making Clarke go crazy. One thing Bellamy did expect that she would do was flip them so that she was riding him but he wasn’t complaining. She rides him until she and him both come to their peak, “cum inside me, it’s okay” she says to him as she holds him close. So with her words he does and then she lays down next to him and then he pulls her to him.

Clarke’s P.O.V

As the room now smells of sex I am now laying in Bellamy’s arms as happy as I could be, he is all I have ever dreamed of and more. “You know when you went missing I tried everything I could to find you” I say to him.

“I know you did, and I’m sorry you had to feel all of that” he says as he holds me as close as he could to his body.

“Did she ever tell you why…why she took you from me?”

“When her guards took me to her I had said ‘kidnapping me and holding me in a cell for 6 months to make the people I love think I’m dead and for what?’ and she said and I quote ‘so I can bring you back alive and she will take me back’ and I knew she was talking about you”

“She took you so she could try and get me back?”

“So I had told her ‘so this is about Clarke’ and she said ‘of course it’s about Clarke and when I take you back you will not tell them I took you and you will tell them that I found you and helped heal you’ and so I asked ‘what if I don’t’ and she said she would kill me then come here tell you guys that she found my dead body and get you back that way” Bellamy explains to me.

“I’m gonna kill her” I say to him.

“No no no Clarke”

“She took you and said she would kill you if you didn’t do what she said Bellamy, I can’t just let that go”

“I’m not saying you have to but if you kill her then you will start a war that we will not win”

“Then what do you want me to do?”

“Be here with me, stay here with me, and if she tries to come back and kill me then we’ll go to war” he says. He wipes away the tears that escaped my eyes and tries to pull me closer to him as much as he possibly could.

“I love you Bellamy”

“I love you too”

[soft-cheek]

ANYWAY its now officially harpers birthday so i can finally post this

[pogueswrld]

*•.¸♡ pillowtalk ♡¸.•*

summary: fem!reader (based on oc) and Bellamy agree to mess with Murphy by flirting together and he gets a little insecure, when she comforts him he decides that words are simply not enough.

warnings: nsfw🦢 SMUT SMUT SMUT, Bellamy (yes that's a warning.), some form of flirting, forehead kisses (I'd like to be warned so), oral (fem! receiving), fingering (fem! receiving), thigh riding, dry humping, breeding kink (?), penetrational sex, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it pls), praising, slight dirty talk, multiple orgasms, nicknames (pretty girl, pretty boy, angel, baby), switch!Murphy, Murphy with a scruff (also a warning lmao), that's it I think.

note: reader and Murphy have an established relationship, this takes place in the six years time skip between season four and five <3 jasper is alive cuz I said so 🧍‍♀️ gif's not mine, found it on Pinterest

The cold metal of the Ark has become something you're used to, your fingertips trace the lines in the walls and it sends a shiver through your body. Your cloth-cladded feet pads across the halls until you reach the common room where Bellamy sat, looking through an old tablet.

John is having one of his 'I wanna be useful' days and has spent the entirety of the day ignoring you. Perhaps not on purpose, but you still feel neglected.

You decide to get back at him by doing the thing he dispises most; teaming up with Bellamy to annoy the hell out of him.

It is almost dinner time which meant that everyone were about to gather in the room you sat in to have one of the meals you all share together, ever since you all left Clarke Earth, there was a silent agreement to not leave each other's side, no matter what. That led to everyone having the meals of the day together.

Even though the meals usually consisted of Monty's algae in different forms, there still was this shimmering vibration in the air when all eight of you gather around the tables you've pressed together to pass stories about your days or memories from before being locked up in the Sky Box── or in Echo and Emori's case, before you guys showed up in their lives.

Emori and Raven were the first to walk in and sit on the table, chattering about training and how Raven was improving with her punches. Then Monty and Harper with Echo trailing behind them, Harper carrying the bowls while the pot of food in Echo's hands.

A graon coming from the hall behind you caused you to turn around and there he was. When you first got to the Ark, John had asked you to give him a haircut and you happily did, now every few weeks he walks into your shared room with a pair of scissors and sits between your legs as you give him the same haircut he's grown to love.

Somehow, he and Jasper had found friendship in the midst of the madness of it all and the buzzcut boy is walking in behind him with a teasing grin.

"Please tell me you didn't poison this Echo, I don't feel like going into another coma." your lover pipes up, his shoulders cracking up in a shiver at the memory of Monty's first try at the algaes. Murphy was the first to try it, he was in a coma for two weeks.

Echo only smirks at him and sets the pot on the table. You share a look with Bellamy across from you and he nods at you, biting back a smirk at the thought of messing with Murphy again.

John takes notice of the glance and pretends to not see it, he leans over to kiss your cheek and you let him. You don't give him a kiss in return and he furrows his eyebrows slightly, but he doesn't spend too much thought into it as he digs into his bowl hungrily.

You take another glance at Bellamy and kick his leg from under the table, the man with freckles looks up at you and smiles then goes back to eating, trying to stifle his laughter as John clenches his jaw from beside you.

This goes all through dinner and by the end of it you think John might explode from the way he tenses when you place a hand on his knee, his jew clenched so hard you think his teeth might shatter. He didn't leave snickering comments at anyone's stories and some of them took notice but one glance at you they realized you were playing around with him, again.

John is the first to leave the table and you freeze up, Emori gives you an exaggerated stare and you smile sheepishly, "I think we over did it this time," Bellamy mumbles and your face pales. "Oh Jesus, you think so?" He shrugs and takes another spoonful of his soup and you groan, not helping.

"I'm gonna go talk to him and make sure he didn't just break up with me." you rush to your feet and down the hallway that leads to your room, you can faintly hear Raven's giggle with Harper.

They always laugh at the way you jog down the hallways.

You knock twice on the door before pushing it open just enough to let your head through, "John?" he hums in response and looks up at you, his blue eyes glistening in the artificial light in the room. The dark long-sleeved overused shirt he's wearing tightens around his biceps as he pulls at the grey overused sweatpants covering his legs higher up to his thighs.

He looked godly, absolutely heaven sent and you hold tighter to the handle and the door when you feel your legs quiver for a moment.

You walk in and make sure to close the door with the lock behind you, even though you both are very open with your relationship you both prefered to keep moments like these to yourselves. Privacy was a luxury you couldn't afford on Earth, so you take advantage of every moment you can get together on the Ark.

You sit at the edge of the bed and keep your eyes on him, "Are you upset?" you ask and your heart races at the thought of the answer. You know he knows that you usually do this with Bellamy just to mess with him, so he knows that you're not actually serious about leaving him for Bellamy, out of all people. But the idea of you leaving him so easily was never venturing too far away in his mind, it's always hovering just around the corner so the second you do something like this, it attacks him with doubts and insecurities. He hates it, mostly because he knows it's not true, but he still can't help it.

He remains silent and the stillness in the room almost brought tears to your eyes. It never came to this, flirting with Bellamy, it usually ended with you holding to Murphy and all three of you sharing a laugh, never to him being too upset that he won't even look at you.

"We were messing with you, you know that right?" you add, hoping that it might clarify whatever he thought of the both of you, "I'd never seriously flirt with Bellamy, John. I'd never dare do that, not to you, not ever."

"But you still do it." his voice was small but steady, he looks up at your eyes and you almost choke on air, "Yeah, to mess with you. You've been ignoring me all day." you whine softly, bringing both of your legs onto the bed so you're sitting on them and facing him completely, your hands facing upwards.

"I've been busy!" he exclaims, shrugging one shoulder. He turns to face you and his fingers twitch as he hesitates if he should reach out to hold your hand or not, he does it anyway.

"I know and I'm not saying that's a bad thing, I just really missed you today." you say the last part in a low mumble, your eyes casted down to your joint hands so you don't see the way his eyes light up at your comment, you don't see the smile that sneaks up to his face and you don't see the mischievous glint behind his irises.

You feel his index and thumb at your chin as he tilt your head upwards to meet his usually icy eyes, a shiver runs down your spine at how dilated his pupils were. His smile was replaced with his signature smirk and you have to hold back from pressing your thighs together, electricity shoots through you from where his skin touches yours and it travels straight to your core.

"You missed me?"

His voice, just like soft velvt, travels your mind and reaches to your soul. A breath escapes you and you unconsciously lean towards him, "Yes." you whisper and when your breath fans across his face he's reminded once again just how deeply he's fallen in love with you.

Your hands, a bit smaller than his scar-littered ones, clutches to his free hand as he leans towards you and your heart hammers when your lips touch. A fire burns so bright within you that it has you on your knees for him, it reaches the deepest parts of your soul and it makes you crave him with such intensity that it reaches him and he moans against your lips.

The sound almost makes you buckle but you reach up and cup his cheeks, kissing him rough enough to make him aware of just how much you've missed him. His hands sneak around your waist and tug you closer onto him. A surprised gasp leaves your lips as you settle in his lap and he smiles against them, his hands squeeze your hips and you can't stop yourself when you push them closer to his body.

He grunts and one of your hands make it to the back of his head, tugging at his golden brown strands and he moans with a certain desperate undertone that has you in shambles.

You grind against him with a goal now, your stomach flutters at the slight friction against your clothed bundle of nerves. "Someone's desperate," he mutters against your lips with a smirk and you grid down on him with extra force, his already hard dick pressing against you and he moans at the pressure he receives from you. "Could say the same about you, pretty boy." he exhales at the nickname, it sends an electric wave straight to his dick and it twitches.

His hands travel upwards, sneaking under your shirt and the contact of his skin on yours makes you gasp. He curls up the hem of your shirt and tugs at it gently, almost immediately you let him go, just for a moment, and pull off the fabric from your skin.

He let out a soft whimper at the loss of your touch in his hair but when you tug at his shirt he's also forced to let you go and discard the fabric somewhere on the floor, your eyes meet and both of you freeze for a moment, you hips never quitting their movements.

You're both breathing heavily as you find pleasure with each other, the eye contact almost makes you shake in his arms but he leans forward and rests his forehead against yours. "I love you." he whispers and you gasp because even though you've been together for almost four years, it still feels the same. Everything feels like the first time with him.

You wrap a hand gently around his neck and pull him closer, your lips meet and John moans. "I love you." You've learned not to say 'too' when you confess your feelings to each other, it never felt the same as when you say the words as an affirmation.

Murphy's hand travels up your back and unclips your bra, he moves one of the straps off your shoulder and you push your arm out of it, letting it fall freely and pull the other strap along. Murphy doesn't touch you right away, instead he trails his fingertips across your back, your shoulder blades and your neck, he whispers sweet nothings against your lips as goosebumps cover your body and you shiver in his hands.

It's funny how easy he was able to have you right in his palm, shaking and desperately aching for him in every way possible.

When he touches your chest you're left gaping and gasping, squirming in his lap as he pinches your nipples between his fingers. He chuckles at your reaction to him and moans when you move your hips a certain way it has him shaking beneath you. His hands go down and he curls his fingers within your pants, he doesn't move though.

"Can I?" your heart almost leaps out of your chest and your nodding frantically, "Please."

He pushes the hard fabric off your skin, leaving you completely exposed for him except for your panties. You go to take them off but he halts your movement, "No, keep them on." even though your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, your pussy clenched around nothing in excitement.

He sneakily helps you off his lap and let's you straddle his thigh instead, you barely notice, too caught up in chasing your high to notice the position change. When you do notice you pause, but John guides you back into your rhythm, the way your knee rubs against his hard on was making his head spin. "Please don't stop," he gasps into the crook of your neck, his hands squeezing the skin at your hips and it makes you grind against him faster, pressing down onto him harder. "Please."

One of your hands remains in his hair as the other one made it to the tent growing in his sweatpants, you cup him through the fabric and he releases a gasp into your neck, the feeling of his breathing on your sensitive skin causes you to shiver and moan. It was all too good. "Fuck." he grunts and bucks his hips into your hand, begging for more.

Your hand wraps around him through his clothes, expertly moving your fingers in circle motions as your thumb presses against his tip. You can almost feel his thighs shaking beneath you but he simply flexes them and it gives you a delicious sensation that makes you let out a loud moan. You muffle it by biting your lips.

His hazy eyes make contact with yours and he gives you a smile that sends you into heaven. You move your hips rougher against him, completely aware of the way you're dripping through the fabric of your panties and the stain it's creating against his grey pants. He dares a to glance down and sees the stain, the hands on your hips squeeze you once more as a groan make its way out of his throat.

The way you're holding him, squeezing and teasing his climax out of him along with the way your eyes roll to the back of your head when your clit brushes against the fabric separating the both of you from one another pushes him to the edge. He puts one finger against your clit and you gasp loudly then use it to your advantage, your orgasm hanging just out of reach.

He brushes his finger in figure eights against your nerve and you have to stop a squeal when your orgasm takes you by surprise, your legs clenche together and trap his hand between your legs and unintentionally, your hand squeezes him tightly and Murphy moans before throwing his head back, his own orgasm washing over him. A visible stain told her that he just came in his pants.

John takes a glance at his pants then looks at his girl, a blush spreads quickly across his cheeks and chest and he hides his face in the crook of your neck, too embarrassed to look you in the eye.

You let out a soft giggle accompanied with a heavy breath, "Let's get these off." your comment suggested that you weren't done with him yet, and it made his softening cock harden in excitement. He followed your instructions and pulled off his pants as you took off the last remaining garment on you and when you straddle him again, you're a lot more meaningful and vulnerable.

John thought that you would leave him at some point of your lives, he thought that you would get tired of him and his constant need to survive and putting him first in difficult situations but that's not true, and you wanted to show him just how untrue it was.

Your arms wrap around his neck as his hold on to your waist, it wasn't as erotic as you thought it'd be but more sensual. Being completely bare with him, skin on skin, being able to share that kind of intimacy with him caused you to lean your forehead against his own, "I'm yours," you whisper, a simple breath in the quiet room, he wouldn't have heard it if you weren't so close to him. "I'm yours forever." you lift your head and press your lips to his forehead.

He almost whimpers, instead he pulls you down and gives a gentle kiss to your lips and trails it down to your jaw, neck and collar bones. You're gasping when he teases your soft spot.

You can feel him all over, his hands going up and down the sides of your body, daring to take hold of your hips and he kneads at your behind, the force behind his action causes you to press your body closer to his and you don't even realize you're moaning until a finger prods at your entrance.

Still slick from your most recent orgasm, John finds it easily to slip into you with one finger, then another and you clench around him, pulling a sweet noise from the back of his throat that lingered somewhere between a moan and a groan.

The way he receives pleasure from giving you pleasure makes you even wetter if that's possible, and he senses it and smirks against your skin. "You like this, don't you? I know baby, I know." he scissors his fingers and the motion makes you close your eyes and moan, resting your head against his. You almost beg for him to do something but he curls his fingers and you whimper loudly, the words dying in your throat.

John looks up at you with dark, lustful eyes as he thrusts his fingers in and out of you, watching you gasp and squirm in his lap with nowhere to escape the increasing torturous pleasure he gives you. He dares to add another finger and you almost fall apart completely, you squeal and your knees buckle, your legs shake slightly as you try to close them around his hand but he holds them apart. He tsks at you, "Come on angel, I want to see you."

Your eyes flutter and a wave of pleasure rolls through you, but it's not enough to give you the heavenly feeling of a climax. "More," you whimper, one of your hands grabbing a fistful of his hair and tugging him upwards to look at you, forcefully removing his eyes from the way his slick coated fingers entered and escaped you repeatedly, "I want more, please." your words are a mere gasp, and John moans lowly when sinful squelches sound across the room from where your bodies connect.

He pushes you down onto the bed to where you're laying on your back, his hand moves out of you just long enough to help you get comfortable, but the empty feeling that washed over you causes you to whimper. "Don't worry angel," he mumbles, a smirk plestering across his face, "I'll give you everything you need and more."

The suggestion causes a heat to rise up within you and you keep your eyes on him from below your lashes, you watch as he litters open mouthed kisses to your chest, the valley of your breasts, your stomach and inner thighs, a gasp leaves you when he bites the sensitive skin gently and you arch your back. "John," you whine, "Please."

"Please what baby?" He knows you hate it when he makes you say the words, but he also knows how much you love it. His eyes cast down to your entrance and catches the way your clench around nothing, it doesn't help your situation and feeds his ego some more, another smirk accompanies his lips as he brushes his scruff against your skin, pressing gentle kisses where he scratched you. "Hmm?"

Another whine leaves you and you arch your back suggestively, he still doesn't move from his spot between your thighs and keeps a pair of innocent eyes on yours, "Yes?" he asks again and you huff, "Can you fuck me? Please." your plea came out in form that suggested you could almost cry from desperation and Murphy fakes a pout, "Aww, is my baby gonna cry? You want me to eat you out that bad?"

Embarrassed, your arms are thrown to cover your eyes, but not the blush that scatters across your cheeks and neck, reaching the tips of your ears. Murphy only chuckles and you're almost tempted to wrap your thighs around his neck and switch your positions so you're in top and choke him with yourself, but the thought flies out the window when his warm mouth latches around your clit.

The sudden warm sensation causes you to gasp loudly and arch your back into him, both of your hands shoot down to his hair and hold onto him tightly, as if you were meant to fly away if you don't. The tug at his strands causes him to moan into your cunt and your eyes roll to the back of your head, both of his hands hold tightly to your thighs ad they rest on his shoulders while his mouth absolutely devours you.

His tongue, having memorized every square inch of your body and knows you better than you know yourself, flicks at the bud of nerves before pressing onto it, he watches you jolt and squirm, but never push him away. He does it again and again, then he let's his nose press against it while his tongue fucks you into heaven.

One of your hands clasp against your mouth to keep your moans at bay while he tongue fucks you, his nose and thumb switch from pressing your clit to flicking it then drawing figure eights onto it. You can feel his other hand disappearing from your skin and when you cast a glance at him, you see him wrap his hand around himself and jerk himself off to you.

The sight makes you moan and John looks up to you then, he catches your eyes and winks, it doesn't help the fire building within you and your back flies off the bed. You moan his name and he almost loses it, his thumb and index squeeze your clit and you squeal and gasp, his other hand leaves his dick and and enters you with a purpose, with the goal to make you cum.

"John," you moan, unable to keep your back to the bed and hold yourself down, both your hands bury themselves in his hair, "I'm so close." he hums against your cunt and laps off your juices, three fingers going in and out of you while his tongue and thumb take turns attacking your clit. "Please please please please," the embarrassment from earlier disappears from your body as you beg for your release, "Baby, can I cum? Please can I cum?"

He chuckles against you and the vibration almost send you floating, but your hold on his hair tightens and he moans and pulls away from you, "Go ahead angel, cum for me, be a good girl and make a mess on our bed."

You whine as you cum, and your legs shake as he holds them apart to not close around his head, his lips don't move from your core and his tongue continues its attack on your cunt. He helps you ride out your second orgasm and when it got too much you squirm away from him, "'s too much, too much."

Murphy only chuckles when he pulls away from you, his nose, mouth and chin glistening with your wetness and you fight the urge to cover your face in embarrassment once again, "Oh you taste so sweet." A gentle whine leaves you and you adjust your body, something prods at your thighs and you're suddenly aware of his hard on.

It was your turn to smirk when he blushes, he buries his face in the crook of your neck and your hand gently, very softly, brushes the back of his neck with the your nails, then letting it trail down his back, sending shivers and goosebumps to raise across his body. "It's my turn to make you feel good." he groans and the sound vibrates through you, your arms hold onto him as you flip him over so you're on top, you straddle his hips and pull away from him to find him grinning. "Oh this is about to be good."

You giggle, distantly aware of his throbbing cock beneath you. You lift yourself off his hips just enough to let his dick rest on his abdomen, then your straddling him again but this time your cunt lays directly onto him and John moans at the sight, his eyes never moving off you as you cover him in your wetness when you grind back and forth on his length.

"Fuck," his curse is enough to let you know that he's enjoying this just as much as you are, and when you feel him twitch you sink into him further, letting your overstimulated clit rub itself in the most painfully delicious of ways.

"I wanna feel you, please," he whines, and your core throbs in desire. You don't tease him like he teased you, you just wrap your hand around him and spread your wetness all over his cock before letting the tip poke at your entrance, you don't push him in though, not even when he bucks his hips in desperation.

"What're you doing?" his breath is knocked out of his chest, he can barely speak and from the hazy look in his eyes you can tell that he can barely think clearly too, you chuckle at him and sink down onto him, feeling him stretch you open as he groans and throws his head back. It felt wonderful to be completely filled by him.

You let out a sound between a strained moan and a whine, John bucks his hips, pushing himself deeper into you, before falling back down to the bed. You know what he wants, but you take it slowly, gently lifting yourself off him, just enough to keep the tip of his dick within you, then you're falling back to let him fill you all the way within you. You both moan, it felt too good not to, and when Murphy sits up, he wraps his arms around your waist and helps you into a steady rhythm that brought both of you to tears from the overwhelming pleasure.

A broken sob escapes you when you feel him reaching deeper within you, his thrusts brushing against your g spot and it makes tears blurry your vision, "You're so close, I can feel you." John gasps into your neck and you whine desperately, your tits bouncing with every thrust and one of his hands cup one while the other keeps a hold on your waist or your hips.

You tug his head away from your chest and lean your forehead against his, your eyes meeting as you breathe the same air, hearts pounding furiously as you both work to chase your highs.

"I love you." he whispers, feeling you clench around him and biting his lips in hopes of not coming undone beneath you already, you press your lips to his forehead, sweat coating your skin and his. He tightens his arms around you and your pace slows down, getting sloppier as your legs scream at you in exhaustion. "I love you."

This time when you orgasm, it's almost relieving, so relieving that you cry shamelessly in his chest. You can feel him thrusting into you still, not holding back when he releases. He groans and whines into your neck as you milk him of every last drop to coat your inner walls, "Holy shit." he breathes, and the inhale that follows feels like fresh air as he wipes away your tears. You hug him closely and he doesn't fight back, he wraps his own arms around your waist.

He helps you lay on your back, still haven't pulled out of you, and keeps his eyes connected to yours. "Sorry for being a dick to you." he mumbles, his hand brushing off a strand of hair that got loose during your activities, you swallow to make sure you can still use your throat and smirk at him, "Sorry for flirting with Bellamy."

He narrows his eyes as a thought passes through his mind, you're almost tempted to ask him what it is but knowing him, he'll grace you with it anyway. "How about you never flirt with Bellamy again, yeah?" he asks, and because he knows you and he knows the way you think, the way you act, he decides to thrust into you one more time before pulling out. He watches you with a smirk as you scrunch your face and nod repeatedly, "Okay, okay okay! Ow, fuck."

You dare take a glance between your bodies and glance at his dick as John purses his lips and slaps it lightly against your clit, it sends a jolt through you and you whine loudly, pushing his shoulder to get off you and he chuckles as he lays beside you.

Yes you might have your differences, and of course you argue, but so does any other couple. What matters is that you talk it out, or fuck it out, and manage to not feel horrible doing it. Sure sometimes it's hard, with John liking to remain silent and brood on his own, but you manage to bring out the best in him, you helped him become the best version of himself and you continue to do so reminding him of what truly matters.

To him, you are the only thing worth fighting for on this decaying world, and you sure as hell feel the same.

[lolawassad]

Hey it’s me again. I have another request haha I was wondering if you could write a murphy x reader where the reader falls asleep on his shoulder and he goes all soft and is like “nobody fucking move or i’ll kill you myself or sum” haha. And if you want you could harper and monty be like the readers parents again. And in they case it would be like they finally understand that Murphy actually cares about the reader and isn’t just using them or something. (he proves himself to them in a way yk?)

Hope this makes sense, happy writing!! :))

John murphy (almost wrote john purple??) X reader

3rd pov

Monty walks in with a big smile "i did something new with the algae" he says proudely murphy who is sitting next to y/n scoffs.

"You trying to put me in a coma again?" He asks annoyed, making y/n and harper giggle "yeah 'dad' you trying to kill my boyfriend?" Y/n asks playfully, the dad part makes monty smile even more and the boyfriend part makes murphy cockily put his arm over his girlfriends shoulder with a smirk.

"See shes on my side" murphy says proud making the girl next to him shake her head "murp.. Dont be rude to my dad, he might actually poison the algea, remember the whole 'ill kill ya' speech he gave?" She asks concerned.

Bellamy glares at the couple in front of him as if echo isnt holding his hand on the table and scoffs "face it murphy, you wont ever be good enough for our little sunshine" he mocks, y/n kicks him under the table and echo slaps his chest letting go of his hand "dont be mean, i think.. You guys are a very cute couple" echo smiles before adding "remember my threat too okay little sky boy?"

Y/n sighs annoyed before shaking her head and walking away from the dinner table.

Murphy glares at the older couple before chasing after his girlfriend "doll" he yells before grabbing her arm, he lifts her up bridal style and takes her to the big window facing earth, he sits her down and then sits next to her.

"They just really fucking love you baby" he tells y/n making her scoff "its so annoying, everybody is a couple everyone deserves happieness but then i wanna be happy with you and its not okay, i mean i have had a crush on you since you punched finn the first day on earth cause he looked at me funny and then blamed it on me being friends with jasper so i was under your protec-" he cuts her off with a kiss

"i have had a crush on you since that day too, i didnt think you wanted anything to do with me because you scolded me and i didnt talk to you until after i got hanged and you stormed up and demanded they take me down. When connor put that knife against your throat i got so fucking pissed, thats why i took my anger out on him instead of wanting Charlotte to get floated. im happy Charlotte is still alive by the way, i heard she met a grounder her age before the bunker closed" y/n's head falls onto murphy's shoulder and he pulls her closer, their backs now against the wall facing the window "do you wanna go back J?" Y/n asks looking at earth

John just shrugs "im going where ever the fuck my girl is, so.. Do you wanna go back, doll?" The girl nods her head "i wanna see clarke, make up with her, i wanna see octavia, and just give her a hug, she needs one" she says

murphy nods in agreement before snorting "i bet she and lincoln are making childern as we fucking speak" y/n laughs

"Gross, i wouldnt be surprised if they already had a child though, i remember octavia saying she would have some kids with him when she told me about their relationship for the first time" she says

"what about you? You wanna have kids with me?" He asks, his mouth is in a smirk but his eyes are filled with hope. Y/n nods "fuck yeah, i want 3, and we shall call em huey dewey and louie-" he slaps her shoulder "fucking brat" he scolds her with a playfull laugh.

Murphy softly lays his head on her head and they just sit in silence watching the earth, it doesnt take long for y/n to fall asleep, leaving murphy with his thoughts on how lucky he is.

Then he hears the voices of the others, when they enter the hall way he softly but harshly tell them "shut the fuck up if you wake her i will take out your fucking eyeballs and shove them where the sun doesnt fucking shine yeah?" Before softly pulling his girl so shes laying on the floor with her head in his lap and starts playing with her hair.

Monty and bellamy look at each other and nod, echo and harper just smile at each other.

Raven and emori fake gag and whisper "gross affection" before raven jumps on emori's back and emori starts running away.

Thats how y/n wakes up, to a still staring at earth murphy and her head in his lap "i do want kids with you, i have had want them with you since the so many-th time you saved me" y/n says "i told octavia 'i want a boyfriend and kids but if he isnt john murphy then i will stay single and kidless my whole life" she continues before yawning and falling asleep again leaving John in happy tears

[topazy]

Silent bloom

Paring: Bellamy Blake/reader

Warnings: swearing

Chapter: 2.06

“So it’s on a loop?” You asked quietly.

Harper nodded, “Monty said it would work... I think it will work.”

You smiled weakly at her. The two of you had been kept separate from the others for the past few days, and you still hadn’t seen Monty or Jasper. Part of you was excited to see them, but you were also scared. What if they had suffered at the hands of the mountain men? How would you explain that Finn was dead at your hands? They would hate you.

A woman in a white coat entered the room and left you with new clothes. Your eyes widened as you examined the light pink jumper that had matching trousers. What the fuck? They were clothes that a child would have picked out. Regardless, you changed into clean clothes before helping Harper change. It scared you how physically weak she had become.

Since Harper arrived, she’s been taken twice to have her bone marrow removed. Fortunately, all they did to you was run a couple of tests and take blood samples. “I know it’s hard, but we need to stay strong. If Clarke could escape here, then we can as well.”

Harper shook her head, “Y/N I can’t. I’m too tired and would slow you down. But you might be able to. When they come back, I’ll cause a distraction. That will give you a chance

You quickly declined. “No, we will leave here together. I promise.”

You watched as she forced a smile and said, “okay.” She nodded, “What’s your plan?”

“We do whatever they ask of us, then-”

You were cut off by the woman in the white coat reentering the room. She eyed you both suspiciously, “when you are ready, follow me.”

You gave Harper a reassuring nod before following the woman.

—

“Daisy!”

When you reached a room that resembled a large dining area, Monty pulled you in for a hug, before moving to help Harper sit down. Jasper stared at you bewildered for a moment before hugging you. “I’m so glad to see you guys. “You pulled back from him, “Where’s Maya?”

“How do you know who Maya is?” Jasper asked.

“Clarke told me about her. Listen, I don’t have much time to explain.” You whispered, “We are running out of time, but I think she might be able to help.”

Jasper shook his head, “I’m not getting her into trouble.”

As you tried to explain the situation, it surprised you when Jasper walked away, refusing to listen to what you had to say.

“Clarkes already tried to explain to him what’s going on, and so have I,” Monty said quietly. “But I might be able to help.”

“All right,” you gulped. “I need a radio. The grounder army should be here soon, but I want to try and contact our people before they arrive.”

Both Harper and Monty's eyes widened at your words. “Grounder army?”

“Clarke’s made peace with the commander and they have agreed to work together to get everyone out of here. I wasn’t with them when I was taken. I don’t know if the plan is still going ahead, but Raven was working on a radio. If we had one, I could try and contact them. And right now, Maya is our best chance at getting one.”

Monty patted you on the shoulder and said, “I’ll try my best. Our people will always find a way.”

“Thank you.”

You would tell them about Finn. The words were burning at the tip of your tongue, but it wasn’t the right time.

—

“I was scared... when you disappeared. I thought I’d never get the chance to say I’m sorry, and I needed you to know that I love you.”

“Finn?” Hearing his voice, you looked towards the doorway of your bedroom. You jumped out of bed and ran into the hallway. “Finn?”

You found him staring out the window. “You know, I still have one of your drawings of daisies in my room.”

You leaned on the wall beside him and sighed. As a child, you’d decorate your bedroom walls with drawings of different flowers, mainly daisies.

“You're not really here, are you?” Finn shook his head. “Then why do I keep seeing you?”

“Your conscience is trying to tell you something,” he shrugged.

You ran your hand across your face and let out a sob. “What?! What is it trying to tell me? That I’m a bad person? I already know I am!”

Finn shook his head and smiled, “You're not a bad person, Daze. You just need to forgive yourself.”

“Forgive myself?” You scoffed. “You make it sound so easy. I killed you, and you were my best friend.”

“I know.”

You wiped away stray tears. “What if I can’t forgive myself?”

He shrugged, “Then you're screwed.”

—

You woke up in a haze with a ringing in your ears. Panicked, you tried to move but realised you were strapped to a bed. As you continued to struggle, a man with dark hair entered the room with a smug look on his face.

“What am I doing here?”

He clasped his hands behind his back and stood at the door of your bed. “Would you rather I call you Y/N or Daisy?”

“I’d rather you let me go.”

He let out a chuckle. “I’ll go with Daisy. After all, I hear it’s what your friends call you.”

You frowned.

“I’m Cage Wallace, President of Mount Weather,” he says proudly. “Why do you think you're here?”

“I’m fresh blood,” you snapped.

He let out a disappointed sigh, “would that be the only reason you are here?”

“I suppose so, unless I’m tied down because you're scared of a little girl.”

A horrid grin spread across his face. “I don’t like weak people, and you don’t strike me as weak. You and Clarke share that in common, except she doesn’t listen, but I think you will.”

You watched him pace and go back and forth. “I’m your prisoner. Why would I listen to anything you have to say?”

“Because I have something you want.”

What could he possibly offer you? Your freedom? Your friend's freedom? You don’t imagine he’d do any of those things. “And what’s that?”

“I heard you wanted a radio to speak to your friends on the outside. Good news, though, you don’t need a radio to talk to them.”

You stared at him, confused.

Cage turned and pointed towards the camera in the corner of the room. “Say hello to Clarke and Bellamy.”

[firelxdykatara]

the 100 for the asks <3

ahhhhhhh, the Numbers Show my beloathed

blorbo (favorite): Clarke Griffin and Bellamy Blake. They can't be separated, I refuse--they're the heart and soul head of the show, it just doesn't WORK without them, and the proof is right there in that dumpsterfire of an ending. I love them both so much, and I happily ignore the way jrot tried to destroy them, and I hope he never works again--he had gold in his hands and squandered it, but at least the bellarke fandom has managed to spin it into endless beautiful tapestries.

scrunkly (my baby): MONTY GREEN. He's friend-shaped and I love him so much, and if nothing else at least he got to have a long life with Harper (and didn't have to witness that shitheel of a final season). He always deserved so much better than the show or fandom gave him.

scrimblo bimblo (underrated fave): WELLS FUCKING JAHA. He was only in four episodes but I've never gotten over his death, he deserved SO much better and there was a chance for the show to at least pay lipservice to understanding how foundational he was to the show by having him appear to Clarke in the finale but no jrot had to suck up to the cl*xas instead and I'm still bitter about it.

glup shitto (obscure fave): Anya kom Trikru. She should have been the Commander and I WILL die on this hill, and her potential was utterly wasted by having her killed and replaced with Lexa (and clanya would've been a much better story but that's another discussion), and I'll forever be bitter about it, especially since the show immediately forgot she ever existed (and most of the fandom did too). Also, how do you have a goddess like Dichen Lachman on your cast and squander her SO badly, I Do Not Understand.

poor little meow meow (problematic fave): John Murphy, hands down. I actually really loved his growth through the seasons, and a lot of shit was done with his character that I did not like, but at the end of the day I think he was at his best when he was being a complete and utter jackass who still would do the right thing if push REALLY came to shove.

horse plinko (punching bag): Echo. For Reasons.

eeby deeby (superhell bound): Lexa. Also For Reasons.

ask me about blorbos from my shows!

[osleyakomwonkru]

The 100 Fandom and Lack of Object Permanence

One thing I’ve noticed in this fandom is that fans - and often the writers too - fail to understand just how little time a lot of the characters have spent in each other’s presence. They assume much closer relationships between characters than is logical for the time they’ve spent together.

Now, yes, we often see them under stressful situations and stress brings people together in unique ways, but to really know someone you also need a variety of experiences - not just stressful murder-filled ones. Those less stressful situations, however, rarely make it to screen, or if they do it is just in short flashbacks, so people forget just how much time has passed off-screen.

Thus this post - a guide for fandom (and belatedly for the writers), who really need to learn how to understand object permanence - that is, the understanding that things (be they people, animals, inanimate objects, places, etc.) continue to exist even when they cannot be perceived (seen, touched, smelled, etc.).

Which is to say: We have spent seven years (give or take for when you got into the fandom) with these characters. But in most cases they have not spent that amount of time with each other. And when they have, it has mostly been off-screen, but this time is still important because it has major implications for how relationships between characters are and should be.

I’ve done the math on how much time characters have spent near each other, using the timeline on The 100’s Fandom wiki. Now, this doesn’t necessarily even mean they interacted each of these days, just that they were in the same places at the same times, so there was the potential for interaction.

“Day” is also flexible - sometimes they may have been present in the same place for the entire 24 hours, sometimes only a few minutes. This also omits the 125 years of cryo, because they were not conscious with the possibility of interaction. “Delinquent” in this context refers to those characters who were born in space who then inhabited the dropship camp in season 1 - that is, the 100 prisoners plus Bellamy and Raven.

I’m not going to get into every single pairing/grouping of characters, because that would take forever. But just some of the key ones.

Some of these results might shock you.

Octavia has spent more time with Echo than she has with Clarke.

Despite now being 33 years old (and thus the oldest Delinquent), Octavia has spent less than 7 years living in a society that contains more than two other people. The only living characters she’s spent more than ten years of her life with are Hope and Bellamy.

The longest continuously serving Earth/Earth-orbit-born leader since the Pilot has been Octavia, who ruled Wonkru for 6 years. It is possible that Jaha or Lexa might have had a longer period of rule overall, but the majority of it would have been before the Pilot episode.

Despite not appearing in a scene together between 3x15 and 6x02, nor being in the same locations at all from 3x15 to 5x13, Octavia and Raven have spent more time with each other than their combined total of days spent with Clarke. (That is, Octavia and Raven’s time together is more than Octavia’s time with Clarke PLUS Raven’s time with Clarke.)

Besides the Blake siblings and old married couple Monty and Harper, the two pairs of Delinquents who have spent the most time together are Octavia and Miller and Bellamy and Raven.

Bellamy and Clarke have only been in each other’s presence for 89 days. Given that Bellamy experienced no memory loss in either direction when traveling to/from Etherea and Bardo, this means that they must run at the same speed, and this means that Bellamy has spent more time with Doucette (sometimes known as Steve) than he has with Clarke.

Octavia and Murphy have only been in each other’s presence for 37 days, half of those in season 1 when Murphy was still the Camp Asshole, so Hope’s line about liking Murphy in 7x02 is pure fanservice because Octavia does not have the stories about Murphy as the Lovable Rogue that other characters do. It is also entirely possible that Octavia doesn’t even know Emori’s name, having only been in each other’s presence briefly in 3x16, 4x12, 5x12, 6x03 and 6x13.

If we accept as canon the deleted lines that Indra was the one to torture and infect Murphy in season 1, Murphy has spent almost as much time with Indra as he has with Octavia, and has exchanged more dialogue with her than he has with Octavia, who he hasn’t exchanged dialogue with since season 1.

Monty’s mistrust of Murphy in 4x13 might seem out of place, given what we’ve seen of Murphy’s growth over the previous two seasons, until you realize that save for a potential brief encounter during their shared time in Arkadia during 4x03, Monty hadn’t seen Murphy since season 1.

Murphy did not see a single Delinquent during the 112 days that passed from 2x11 to 3x06, until he met Clarke again in 3x07 and was in the presence of Bellamy, Octavia and Miller starting from 3x15. The only other main character he saw during that time was Jaha. These 112 days represent over half of the time (200 days) that the Delinquents spent on Earth prior to Praimfaya.

Jordan and Hope were born after Madi, but are older than her. They are also both older than every Delinquent character with the exception of Bellamy (29) and Octavia (33), being 26 and 25 years of age respectively, while the remaining delinquents (Clarke, Raven, Murphy, Miller) are 23/24.

The longest lasting romantic relationship between characters where both are still living is that between Miller and Jackson. Murphy and Emori come in second (because of their occasional on-again off-again situation, while we haven’t heard of the same being the case for Miller and Jackson).

Now, some might say that physical time together doesn’t matter in the face of fire-forged bonds and still “knowing” the other characters even if they aren’t physically present with each other. Now, to a point that could be true. However, what is also true - and the big point here - is that the more time characters spend apart from each other, the greater the chances that they build up their own versions of each other in their minds (and stories) rather than knowing who the real person is. This was especially the case in season 5 after what was a six year time jump for everybody, and it is coming back into play now in season 7 where the amount of time that has passed varies depending on character.

Will this ever be properly addressed? In canon, I doubt it. But maybe there can be some references to it, we can always hope.

[bellamyblake]

I love your blog title, it's what bellamy wanted to negotiate from Octavia in s5 right? The 80 acres?

that's it, yes! i love it because i think it also tells a lot about what bellamy really wanted, which was that he like the rest of the 100, even though he wasn't sent down there on pupose, only wanted the same thing they did-to have a home.

thinking about it, he never had one, not since O was born, things started taking a turn for the worse and his and his mom's once peaceful existance, turned their little place into hell instead of an actual place to live. they filled it with fear, he was bound by fear from the moment Aurora placed that little baby in his arms, so all the negative emotions were connected to this one place of sadness and the fear of being discovered.

their home wasn't really one, it was a hiding hole with a glimpse of hope that they wouldn't get caught and with a literal hole in the ground, something fundamental for every home if you think about it, the grounds of it, they were shaken and fileld with a hole where a kid hid hoping to get out and not be found out, so their foundations, of their family, their home were based on fear.

they lived above hell and in this hell they had a little girl, hiding away from the world, never truly living it. and he was the protector of that little girl and her small hole of hell.

and he failed.

so of course he always looked for a home and i believe that is one of the reasons why he gave his big motivational speech in season 1 episode 13 when he tried to convince the 100 not to leave camp. they had built it with their bare hands, they protected it, it was and had turned into their home.

he just didn't want to abandon it again.

but he lost that home again-i think arkadia never really was that, it reminded him of the ark and everything wrong with it and overtime his home became a person in the face of clarke, rather than a place.

then he lost it again with mount weather and he lost himself with failing gina who was the same glimpse of hope in the hell that was Arkadia after the mountain and after everything that happened with pike, i am not sure he was even looking for a place to call "home" anymore.

after leaving clarke behind and coming back on the ring well...i dont think that he considered the space station a real home. i think he always liked it better on the ground despite everything. he just had too many bad memories up there and never a happy existance, unlike monty or harper or even clarke for that matter who had whole lives up there and they were relatively happy ones. bellamy's also not one to be contained in one place for too long, i think that's partly his anxiety from the life he had as a child and on the other that he likes action and building and working with his hands more than living in a tin can and doing nothing.

that is why i think he was so eager to have those 80 acres and why he wanted to negotiate them from octavia. he could see them finally building that place, a small camp, a settlement just for him and his friends and actually living good lives there.

i think he could see himself building cabins step by step for them all, a wall to surround it, help monty with the crops, be close to the river so he could go fishing, have clarke and madi show him this new world and then inviting him into those 80 acres which he'd fill with live and love and hope.

i think that's what bellamy always wanted. i think that's what he was looking for at by the end too, despite the bad storyline. a home. with peace. nothing else. while others strived for power or wanted to fit in or were desperate to prove themselves, he just wanted a home. yes, he was a great soldier, he was also a good leader and he cared deeply but i think he could've let those things aside, like he did on the ring, and live a good and happy life like he should have.

and hopefully he'd have also been able to forgive himself for everything and turn on a new leaf. this doesn't necesarrily mean being with clarke which yes i would've love to, but it means just to live good and quiet life. in fact i think that it'd have taken him years to actually get together with clarke and once they did it'd have been fine because they'd both be where they needed to be and where they weren't at in those other points.

[justinalovee]

Empty souls

0.11

Previous chapter

Jill smiled as Harper finished bandaging her wrist. She had tried to do it herself, however the blonde saw her struggling and offered to help. Jill didn’t know much about Harper but she liked her, and she was grateful that somebody besides from Murphy, and Octavia didn’t seem to be scared of her.

Ever since Jill explained to Bellamy that she stabbed a grounder in the neck, the dirty looks and whispers about why she got locked up had started again.

Murphy glanced into the tent and felt a mixture of emotions. Jill was putting on a brave act in-front of some girl, but he knew she was breaking on the inside. Murdering someone didn’t leave you with a good feeling, but he could live with it. Connor had it coming, and so did the grounder who tried to kill Jill but she didn’t understand. He waited until Harper left the tent before entering to see Jill.

“I’ll be out to start my shift in a minute.”

“It’s fine,” Murphy shrugged. “Bellamy and his followers are planting foxholes outside of camp.”

Jill frowned, “What? Why aren’t they looking for Clarke, Finn, and Myles? They should be the priority!”

“Myles is back.” Murphy’s eyes trailed from her cracked lips to her tired eyes, and he felt a pang of pity for her. He needed to do something. “I need to go and take care of some things.”

“I know that look, please don’t do anything that will get you into trouble.” Murphy smirked at the comment. “I know a lot of shit has happened but we need to talk about it at some point.”

“I’m not really in the mood for couples therapy at the moment.”

Jill stepped towards him and held onto his hands and spoke in a low voice, “we both killed someone. I understand why you did it but I’m scared. I’m scared for you because I can’t lose you again.”

“You won’t, I promise.” Reluctantly he let go of her hands and started to leave. Seeing Jill’s face was making his plan for revenge so much harder. “Whatever happens I’ll always come back to you, just remember that.”

“John?” Murphy turned back to face Jill who looked more concerned than before. “Is everything okay? You can tel-”

“It's all good,” he answered a little too fast. Murphy tuned back around and kissed Jill’s cheek, before leaving her in the tent to finish getting ready.

______

Murphy stood back as Bellamy left to get some water, and Jasper was getting fun powder. This was his chance. He walked towards Myles and placed a plastic bag over his head. “This is for tying the noose that they hung me with. Say hi to Connor for me.”

After a few moments Murphy removed the bag when he heard a clanging noise. He spun to see a petrified looking Jasper staring at him.

“He stopped breathing. I was... I was trying to help him.”

Jasper reaches his hand out slowly, “Murphy, just put the gun down.”

“He tried to kill me. Hey, don't move.” He frowned as Jasper put his hands up defensively.

“Ok. Ok. It's cool.”

It’s cool? Something inside Murphy snapped. Nobody cared about him. Nobody cared that he almost got murdered for a crime he didn’t commit. “No, it’s not. You know what’ll happen to me if you tell Bellamy.”

A muffled noise filled the room, followed by a voice on Jasper’s radio. “Tell Bellamy What?”

______

Jill was surprised when Octavia grabbed her arm and quickly began dragging her towards the drop-ship. “Murphy’s gone insane! He’s taken Bellamy hostage, you’re the only one who can talk him down.”

A feeling of nausea washed over Jill as she processed what Octavia was saying. She should have trusted her gut and pushed Murphy for more information. No, no, he wouldn’t do this.

By the time Jill and Octavia reached the drop-ship it was too late. Murphy was gone.

Jasper, Jill, and Octavia rushed inside to help Bellamy. Jasper looked closer at the hole in the wall, “the guy knows how to make an exit. Should we go after him?”

“No. Grounders will take care of Murphy.” Bellamy shot Jill a glare before walking out of the room. “We're going after Clarke, Finn, and Monty. You and Raven were right. We don't abandon our own. Two guns... you and me. That's it. Raven stays here to build up defenses. We lost a day because of this, and our gunpowder. Raven!”

“Bellamy, wait. Look, I just... Thank you. Long way from whatever the hell you want.”

Jill froze as she blocked out the conversation between Bellamy and Jasper. Her brain was going into overdrive, she couldn’t believe Murphy had done this. He’d actually tried to kill Bellamy...and a tiny part of her understood why.

Octavia squeezed her arm, “Are you coming?” Jill stared at her blankly. “The guards have spotted somebody by the gates, we need to go.”

Jill nodded and took a couple of steps before stopping. “O I’m so sorry. I never knew John was going to hurt your brother, I swear. He’s messed up...but I didn’t think he’d go this far.”

“I know, now we need to go.”

______

Jill couldn’t stop surveying the gates around camp with hopes of seeing even a glimpse of John, but she suspected he was long gone by now.

While Clarke, Finn, and Bellamy argued about what to do next Jill slowly walked away. Seeing the marks on Bellamy’s neck was making her feel physically sick. As she walked towards her tent something out the corner of her eye got her attention. A person was struggling to walk. Raven. Jill sprinted towards her and began screaming for help.

“Raven! Raven!” Finn ran over and picked her up. “What the hell happened?”

“I don’t know,” Jill shook her head. “I just found her like this. We should get her into the drop-ship.”

“Murphy shot her,” Bellamy deadpanned.

Jill gulped down and helped Finn move Raven inside. She had no time to dwell on what had happened, the needed focus on saving Raven and keeping the grounders out.

Bellamy stepped in front of Jill when she tried to leave, “where the hell are you going?”

“I’m going to get bandages from my tent,” Bellamy didn’t move. “You need to move so I can get them.”

“Not a chance.”

“Excuse me? Is this a fucking joke? You need to let me past.”

“I don’t trust you. For all I know you are going to finish off the job your boyfriend started.” Bellamy looked up at Miller, “search her tent.”

Octavia stepped forward, “Bell this isn’t-”

“Stay out of this O,” he snapped at his sister before turning to face Jill again. “You aren’t leaving my sight, I should have known better than to ever trust a murder.”

“Bellamy that’s enough!” Clarke’s sharp voice pierced through the drop-ship. “Jill, I'd appreciate anything you have.”

“I’ll go get them,” Jill shoved past Bellamy who glared at her in return.

Next chapter

[endgametike]

Bellamy Blake x reader

Part 1

You were sitting in your room with Kane, your dad. You have been doing this meetings for about a week now, all because of Pike. And now he got Bellamy, your Bellamy. You were in love with him. You’ve been in love with him since you first met him, when the 100 arrived on Earth for the first time.

“Is everything okay?”

Your dad’s voice got you back to reality. He sounded worried, genuinely worried.

“Apart from Bellamy siding up with Pike? I’m doing great.”

You were being ironic. You always did that when you were uncomfortable talking about something. So Kane didn’t say a word after that.

“How long are Harper and Miller going to take? We don’t have much time. Lincoln was already arrested and we need to free him. I promised Octavia. I promised Lincoln.”

Octavia was really important to you. She was your first friend on Earth and you told her everything. And Lincoln....well, Lincoln taught you how to fight and helped you hiding from the Grounders. You owed him your life, and he was your friend. You couldn’t leave him to die.

Finally, you heard some footsteps and someone knocked. Harper and Miller said the password and entered your room.

“Took you long enough.”

“Sorry, I had to get rid of Monty. He’s with Pike too....”

“Ok, let’s review the plan “

“Y/n, can we talk?”

You froze when you heard Bellamy’s voice. You missed him, you missed kissing him, you missed talking with him, you missed everything about him. But you were too proud to answer him.

“Y/n answer me”

“Or else what? You’re going to get me arrested for disrespecting a guard ? Try me.”

“I just wanna talk. Please.”

You felt him getting closer to you and touching your shoulder.

“Don’t come any closer. Step away from me.”

“Y/n please.”

“I said step away!”

You turned around and pushed him. Bellamy fell and before you could do or say anything , you saw guards coming with Pike.

“Y/n Kane, you are under arrested for assaulting a member of the guard .”

“What did you do to end up here?”

You recognized Lincoln’s voice immediately and chuckled a little.

“Bellamy needed a lesson. Seems like I broke the law and assaulted a guard. Bullshit if you ask me.”

You looked at Lincoln and saw him smile.

“I see you’re still the same Kane. I missed you.”

“We have a plan. My dad has a plan.”

“Y/n wake up! Kane. Belomi ste hir.”

You woke up as soon as you realized what Lincoln was saying.

“Chit ste he doing hir?”

“Yu should as op em”

“Pike, I would say it’s a pleasure to see you, but then I’de be lying, and I guess that’s against the law too. But hey, I’m already arrested so who cares right ?”

“Bellamy dropped the charges, you are free to go. But you can’t leave the camp. Your every movements will be watched and I’ll be waiting for you to slip away so I can get that smirk out of your face.”

“Bite me.”

You rolled your eyes and turned around to face Lincoln.

“Ai na kom op bakon gon Yu. Ai promise .”

“Stay yuj, Yu are a gona.”

“What is she saying Bellamy ?”

“I don’t know sir.”

“What are you saying? You’re not one of them stop speaking their language.”

You looked at Pike with disgust in your eyes.

“Jok Yu”

Part 2:

[bakerolivias-archived]

the vampire diaries for the ask game! (or the 100 if you prefer, since you haven't finished tvd yet 😂❤)

i already did the tvd one!!! :)

the 100 favorite character(s): i'll cheat on this one lol. bellamy, raven, clarke when i don't want to throw her down the stairs, murphy, kane, roan, luna, echo, monty, harper, emori, josephine, lexa least favorite character: octavia, abby and clarke at times brOTP: murphamy, lexa/bellamy (alas only in my imagination haha [sobs]), clarke/roan, clarke/murphy, murven, braven, brollarke, princess mechanic OTP: braven (sobs), linctavia, clexa, murphamy, bellarke at times, josephine/gabriel, memori, becho, princess mechanic (queen raven deserves better than that tbh), sea mechanic, zaven, octavia x atom because i miss them sometimes, marper, minty OT3: bravenlarke, bellamy/raven/murphy, bellamy/echo/raven, becho x clarke, clarke/lexa/octavia, clarke/octavia/raven, monty/miller/harper, probably more tbh. NOTP: ah yes, bellarke sometimes (yeah i listed them as otp and brotp too i'm a mess), princess mechanic, levtavia (they were a rushed mess lol, then again slow burn doesn't really exist on the 100) favorite storyline: SEASON FIVE IS LITERALLY EVERYTHING, IT WAS GRITTY AND EDGY AND HOT. i mean they were all pretty stupid fighting over what amounted to less than 1% of the earth but everything about the s5 storyline was incredibly sexy. also everything about s1, the s2 MW storyline (it was a defining moment in everyone's arcs and done so well tbh), and s6 sanctum + bodysnatchers or whatever. least favorite storyline: s7 of course. what I wish had happened but didn’t: braven are married soulmates, more of s1 bravenlarke, memori and kids, becho getting to be happy, clarke learning from her s6 mistakes and actually doing better, zaven being happy, jordan and madi getting to be "siblings" and playing together, madi having a peaceful childhood what happened that I wish hadn’t: almost, like, every death on the show lol. zaven getting more of a slow burn, BELLAMY NOT FUCKING DYING************ (lol i'm still pissed), LEXA ALSO NOT DYING, everything about levtavia and jordan/hope, and that transcendence stupidity, like, no. also bellamy being an ooc genocidal mess in s3.

[chase-the-windandtouch-the-sky]

Wow... the spoilers are... something else. I usually can’t say this, but I literally could not have guessed this ending. However, I thought it’d be fun for what I thought was going to happen -> this is before the prequel ep and Cadogan, which is important:

* I thought Levitt was the Shepherd before the prequel episode, I was fully convinced he was playing Octavia and that Bellamy was actually there too, and he showed her ‘dying’ to get her emotionally vulnenable. And then for a topper, he was a janitor because that’s what they did to Bellamy, to draw the connection. And that he was slowly convincing Octavia to give more and more under the guise of trust, instead of fighting a battle he knew he couldn’t win.

* I then thought Levitt would accidentally reveal his hand by saying something she knows she didn’t tell him -> this revealing Bellamy was not only alive, but here and struggling too. I thought it would be so fun to see the actor switch -> from that lovable persona to something much, much darker. And not in a stereotypical way like Shaedheda.

* I genuinely thought that the Shepherd and Shaedheda were two dichotomies of evil -> extreme violence and extreme sheep nature, both driven by the power and manipulation of the leader. I thought they were going to show they were two cults of the same coin, instead of being opposites, and our Delinquents would be the foil to this. And all last episode ‘be better,’ which came at great personal cost was the last lesson all our protags needed to see and fight against this.

* Since last season was about rescueing Clarke, I thought this one would be about Bellamy -> and since it was the last season, I thought they’d be facing similar issues they did in previous seasons, but would have an opportunity to make the more kind ones. For example (off the top of my head), I thought they would put Clarke in a situation to wipe out Shaedheda’s people like Mount Weather (with the red sun, with something on the planet), and they chose another way, causing distrust in his own people. For Bellamy, when he massacred 300 Grounders with Pike, I thought he’d be presented with a similar opportunity with Bardo, but instead find another way.

* I actually thought the crystal people outside would come back into play -> and act as a narrative foil of The 100 and the Grounders, calling on the immediate violence they were put in, and bringing back themes of the first season.

* And I didn’t think Clarke was the Key for the Flame per se, but because she spoke to Becca, the Commanders, and basically had every experience crossed hundreds of years and had more answers than anyone.

* Finally, after being confront with all their worst stories and demons, I thought they’d truly make Monty and Harper proud and discover how to end without violence, whether that be show the follies of their leaders or presenting a better world.

* Most importantly, everyone would be together. No glow sticks included.

[lolawassad]

hey shawty, it’s me again.

Could you possibly write a fic where it’s bellamy x murphy x reader and they both have the golden retriever energy and the I hate everyone but you energy as well but also possibly a high school au. It would also be really cool if you could mention more of the other couples like monty and harper or fin,lexa and clarke! :) It doesn’t need it have a plot, i just wanted more of your high school AUs since they’re ✨awesome✨

Happy writing! 😽💅

Fuck yeah shawty

Bellamy blake x reader x john murphy

3rd pov

You wake up to an empty bed, you grab your phone and notice multiple text messages from your boyfriends

"Hey doll, we went to school early" j.m

"Hey princess, i got lacrosse and J insisted on watching"

"Haha he just wants to see me shirtless"

"Oh shit my teammate said something about you and J fucking pounced on him" b.b 1 minute ago

You get out of bed and put on a skater skirt, some skincolored pantyhose, some shorts, and a band t-shirt john left with a note on it 'WEAR THIS PLEASE I BEG YOU'

You grab a handbag and put in your phone and not even three minutes after you read the text you are putting on your platform mary janes and rushing to school

Five minutes later you make it to the sport field connected to the school and see not only murphy fighting but bellamy too, they both are on top of a guy

"Guys STOP" you yell at them making your boys freeze, murphy gives the guy one last punch and gets up before spitting on the grass and pulling bellamy off the guy "hey doll" murphy yells out with a smile

When you look at them you notice neither has a bruise or scrap, bellamy grabs your face and kisses you deeply "ours" he growls before pulling away and murphy kisses you too the same way bellamy did

You look at the time and see its 8.30 and people start filling in the school, you start walking to the school making both your boys quickly follow behind

When you reach your locker you see clarke finn and lexa finn is standing in between both his girls arms wrapped around them while lexa and clarke are speaking

Finn notices you "y/n my bestfriend" finn says making lexa scoff "you are not y/n's bestfriend thats octavia" she says, clarke hums in agreement making finn gasp offended "tell em y/n"

Before you can speak up murphy scoffs "face tat is right, octavia is y/n's bestfriend, now beat it punks" he says but the throuple doesnt leave

"We got a pep rally today" clarke says making you groan, you go to bang your head against the locked but bellamy puts his hand on the locker so you dont hurt yourself

"I hate jaha" you say making wells who just so happened to walk past sputter out "uh?? Huh excuse me?" "Sorry not you just your dad" you say making him go "understandable"

Bellamy and murphy smirk at eachother "i know what we can do in an empty classroom thats so much more fun" bellamy says before im pulled away from him, now sitting on harpers hip who pulled me away "NOT IN MY CHRISTIAN HOUSEHOLD" making the throuple laugh, monty looks at murphy and bellamy and shakes his head "not surprised, just dissapointed, come on honey" he says before pulling harper and me to the gym harper giggles and puts me down after we reach the gym

We are quick to run into raven and emori who are making heart eyes at the new girl, you and harper look at each other before running to the new girl

Next to her is a scary tall guy, the new girl and the guy both get up when we reach them and its then i hear footsteps run behind me, my boyfriends stand in front of the guy squaring their chests "fuck you looking all intimidating at" murphy says while he and bellamy starts argueing/talking to the new guy

"My friends think your cute you should speak to them if you want to" you say the same time harper says "my friends wanna bone you" you both gasp and turn to each other

The new girl laughs "thank god, i have been making heart eyes since they walked in" she says "im echo by the way" she smiles and walks to raven and emori who both turn into tan blushy messes

You then shake your head and turn to your boys "im gonna go over there" you say while pointing to where octavia and lincoln are sitting and skip over there

You go to sit down next to lincoln but bellamy sits next to octavia and pulls you on his lap, murphy grabs your legs and puts them over his left leg "hallooo" you say cheerfully to the couple next to you, octavia smiles at you and lincoln says "hello little one, i see you have little ducklings again today" making o and me laugh.

After the assembly and murphy caresing your thigh you get in bellamy's car and he drives to murphy's place because his foster parents bought him a nice house for his 18th birthday last year after he got out of juvie

You go to open the door puts its pulled open by murphy who lifts you up bridal style and spins you around for a bit before rushing up the stairs to his home and waiting for bellamy

He smiles fondly at his partners and walks up the stairs too, he kisses both you and murphy on the forehead and opens the door, murphy runs inside and throws you on the couch and then jumps on top of you, only to then flip you around so your laying on top of him

"I didnt even get to see bellamy shirtless" he says with a pout, you gasp "OH BELL PLEASE TAKE OF YOUR SHIRT" you say while jumping up and getting on your knees in front of bellamy, he smirks down at you and you are quickly joined by murphy who stands besides you arms crossed

"Take it off" murphy says to bellamy, they glare at each other daring the other to move. They are too into their glare match to notice you get up and grab some scissors, you start cutting off the shirt bellamy is wearing to reveal his nicely toned chest you then turn to john and also cut off his shirt

You then smile to yourself "mmm muscles" you say making both men stop the glare competition and look down "y/n wtf? Again" they ask in sync but you just innocently smile at them making them melt

"Fuck the things we do for you dollface" murphy says before lifting you up again and pulling you to the couch and he grabs his phone to turn on turning red on disney+

Now you are sitting on the couch, in the lap of one of your boyfriends while the other one holds your thighs on his lap and murphys arm is over bellamy

Then the door bursts open "SIX FEET APART SIX FEET APART GET AWAY FROM MY CHILD" monty yells holding the spare key