#so so tired of feeling shitty about things literally ALL we do is play one video game all day eat sometimes and go to sleep

[yveaart]

how to lose a guy in 10 days — csc

choi seungcheol x reader

genre : fluff, smut, enemies to lovers, jealousy (?), fake relationship, bets (yk how the movie goes), profanities

synopsis : you had to prove to your friends that you could easily make a guy lose interest within a week, having no interest in indulging yourself in a relationship after your past ones. all those relationships led you to narrow down a list on how to make a guy sick of you. you had all the card in your hands and seems like you don’t get to play it.

warnings : mdni, proceed with causion bc this is my first actual svt fic it might be shitty. not proofread lol, reminder that this is my take on the plot and it will not flow the exact same plots in the movie

i do not feel so confident about this bc i wrote this with mind in shambles. literally me comforting myself with svt while i'm dying from my studies rn :') pls tell me if you like it bc i would most def appreciate it <3

it was another slow day at work when you sat down at your desk and sighed. all your work mates and friends seems to confide in your reaction but your circle knew that this sigh wasn’t a “damn-im-so-stressed-and-sick-of-work-sigh” for them it was more of a “wow-life-is-hectic-its-almost-making-me-want-a-man”

and just like clockwork their brains clicked and hovered over your cubicle. poor u so startled that you almost gagged on your coffee.

“what?” you shooted

“are we gonna meet boyfriend number 13?” karina said in a sing song voice

“more like fling number 17?” sakura retorted

“maybe a first situationship since she haven’t experienced one yet” yunjin said curiously

“jesus christ i’ve had that much men and i’m not gay yet?” you said surprised

“maybe you just need a new set up?” yunjin asked

“like what doggy style?” karina questioned

“not like that you idiot” sakura glared

“maybe i’m just meant to end up in a church and dedicate my life to holiness” you huffed

“please you would burn the moment you step in a cathedral” sakura laughed

“well i just know how every relationships end, it’s almost like completing all endings for a video game, its predictable and cliche” you sighed

“let’s welcome fling number 17 then” karina announced

“i’m too tired for just fucks you know? it won’t take long before i actually get infection and i turn into a zombie and bite you all from all these stupid ideas” you rolled your eyes at your friends.

right now you just actually need to see if theres a guy out there in the world who could actually commit and actually accept a persons flaws out of love.

all too cheesy but you would like to find a partner who would find no flaws in you and probably just call them your little unique antiques that they can live with.

you were so sick on seeing tutorials or manifestation hacks on the internet because does anyone genuinely love each other anymore? all these “how to become a maneater”, “how to make them dream of you”, “how to make him fall in love using a potion” bullshit got you sick of people now.

why did god even create men to accompany themselves if they’re preferences and expectations are for the deities taste themselves.

“OH MY GOD I GOT IT!” yunjin screamed making all your peers look over to your area

“what is it?” you asked dying for a solution

“what if you meet a guy and just unfling him?” she said as if there was a light bulb above her head

“yall need to make her stop doing overtime” sakura deadpanned

“NOO, like you’re talking all these commitment things all the time then what if you find a random guy and make him not fall in love with you and see if he stays?” she said

“so like i should go out being an annoying red flag and see if he stays?” you giggle but it all went away when all your friends kind of agreed because they’re also sick of u having these guy problems already.

“i guess thats not all bad” karina suggests

“you should wear your best outfit tonight because we will find your lucky target then y/nnie” sakura winked at you before discussing the plans with yunjin and karina

it was not long until the night came as you got ready, you scoffed on how stupid this bet is because it’s like you claimed “very predictable and cliche” to lose a guy.

it was then your friends picked you up and pulled up to the bar. a few shots came by as you hustled through the crowd searching for your so called the one. but as you surf through the tables everyone fell short to your friends standards as if it was a big serious thing.

you grew tired, what was the point, you knew your fate then you should probably accept it now.

you drank your last shot for tonight planning your weekend with whole lots of tubs of ice cream until you flinched by karina grabbing your arm.

“him” she said, audible enough for the three of you to hear. you faced the guy she was referring to as all the noice fade into the background blur hearing yunjin screech and them clapping happily, your time froze.

the most goddamn, drop dead gorgeous man came to sight.

“isn’t that choi seungcheol?” sakura stating a rhetorical question

“they said no one could ever bag him up” yunjin replied

“ooh sounds like one of y/n’s guys” karina giggled.

“are you up for it then?” sakura challenged you

“please this will probably come by a breeze, so? 100 bucks each?” you winked as the three of them agrees after a total chaos.

“choi seungcheol, let the games begin” you muttered

on the other side of the bar there was a crowded group of 13 people who were mindlessly taking shot over shot as they were crowned as the most obnoxiously loud people for the night.

most of them spitting out tipsy thoughts to one another as they joined forces on pinning and choosing choi seungcheol as the victim for tonight.

“here comes the virgin joseph for tonight, choi seungcheol!” dk hooted while hoshi was giggling to any phrases the latter would make out

“isn’t it mary though?” joshua pondered drunkly on the edge of the couch munching on the nuts hoping it would make him sober as it was too early to go home.

“whatever, we still get the point. so what’s with the anti-women behavior cheol?” jeonghan grinned. his smile too wide to seem oblivious of the answer.

“i think dating is now deemed predictable to me,every woman i dated either wants my money, my body, fame, or a father figure” cheol sighed deeply

“wait you’re a dad?” dino’s brows furrowed in deep confusion as cheol stood there with utter disbelief

“i thought we we’re supposed to have a fun hangout today, and now all of you are just looking like alcoholics with all these bottles in our table” seungcheol complained

“WHO ARE YOU CALLING ALCOHOLICS?!” mingyu exclaimed looking at the opposite direction of where cheol was.

“FUCKER I DIDNT CALL YOU ANYTHING” minghao retorted to a confused mingyu facing him causing cheol to place a palm over his forehead.

“how about you start charming women for who you truly are?” vernon continuing the passed topic.

cheol didnt know if he was thankful for vernon re entering a topic, all the “seemingly” sober people joined up on the topic. they soon somehow convinced cheol to meet new people and try making them fall in love with him.

kkuma needed a mom, maybe he did too (but not in a maternal sense

“i doubt scoups can make a girl fall in love with him” dino giggled in the verge of passing out.

“i sure can ! it’s like a walk in the park” seungcheol defended.

“not even within a month” jeonghan added

“not even a week” jun stared blankly.

seungcheol always had placed his pride on a pedestal, it’s the source of his cocky behavior.

“oh please, give me 10 days it would be like she’s under a love spell” cheol snickered blanketing his bruised ego.

“deal, i bet 20 that we’ll have another meeting on the 10th day having cheol drop dead drunk at thus exact spot” jeonghan screamed only standing for the first time for the night.

it was chaos after that, but the group was almost divided equally in the process of them making bets and weighing the odds of cheol’s fate.

seungcheol wished the ground opened its jaws and buried him six feet under

even he was lying to himself with his statement, but one thing about choi seungcheol— he always wins.

“i’m gonna head home now” cheol said, he wish he didn’t.

he somehow wished that they were all too drunk to force him into the grave he dug himself. mercy will be the end of their bond, so as fate has written cheol’s fortune.

“i guess cheol is accepting his pussy title” jeonghan sighed

“i am not a pussy” cheol responded

“then i guess you’ll have to prove that” joshua sighed blankly at him

“let’s start by choosing the lucky girl who’s gonna take cheol’s v card”

“i’m not even a virgin” cheol rebutted with a frown, the liquor making him submit to his true emotions.

“please you barely lost it” dk laughed

“well i barely felt it….” cheol muttered

“let’s do her” dino pointed at the wall as he stood quickly stumbling with his head spinning

“who’s he pointing at? did he shave his eyes as well?” woozi said laughing

“shut up pink panty guy, i’m talking about the girl that has red hair and wearing a black dress” dino said laying on the floor

“ooh, she looks hot like seungcheol’s type” jun teased

if he didn’t spot your bright auburn hair he would’ve sworn to himself that these guys we’re just throwing a hate crime at him, but god, you we’re his type.

“go on mr. choi, show us your charm” mingyu pushing cheol closer to your area in the bar

you were planning on stepping up, but you had to make one thing sure, so you turned around to your friends with burgundy rushing through your cheeks with the thrill throwing you into your pit of endless thoughts.

“makeup, and outfit : perfect” yunjin started with a wide grin

“hair : gorgeous and can easily make a ponytail” karina winked as you glared at her

“teeth clean and ready for sucking” sakura smiled

jesus christ you were asking for a reality check and they just simply can’t avoid adding scandalous statements as if that’s all you do.

you were ready

were?

are?

was?

fuck.

you backed up quickly as you saw a guy charging at your direction ready to barf up on you.

quick arms catches your moving physique, as your back became dependent on the person unbeknownst to you.

two groups filled your senses with squeals, laughing and cheering waking you up from your not so cute dilemma

you turned to the person behind you seeing the man of the night

choi seungcheol.

“you okay, sweetheart?” his voiced hush, you felt warm and you swore that is was just the buzz from the liquor

quickly you went to work

“omg thankyou o-oppa” you’re voice cracked because you simply cannot believe the words that escaped your lips.

there was terror in his eyes, the moment you saw it, it went away. a pretty grin was graced upon your lips because this will be one hell of a ride

he better be sure to keep his seatbelts on because you’re gonna totally rock his world.

day 1 : the tortoise and the hare

spoiler, the hare never wins

guys hate being speedy, if they’re looking for a woman they can take home to his mom it would definitely not be the woman who wants to be dicked down after the first date.

and this wasn’t even a date

he took you to his place after your so called friends left the both of you in the landmine

he only intended you to sober up, and you only wanted him to curse you off his life. but it would be no fun if you just did it in a day, wouldn’t it?

the sound of the collision of class and marble led to both of your eyes to be met.

“thank you, really, or what else i would’ve smelled like vodka and whatever the fuck that person just ate” you sighed in relief genuinely

“no worries, you don’t smell like barf or vodka…. maybe a little of tequila but you’re good” he smiled

fuck. he’s hot and he knows it, a part of you wished that he was some sort of narcissist so you could do this thing in a easier way.

his face sculpted and graced with beauty his eyes filled with wisdom and maturity, his lips full and shaded like cherries.

you we’re definitely down to have a fling with him, but according to you, you were planning to change your ways and test the purpose and ability of men.

“mhm, i’m tired let’s watch a movie?” you smiled with your forced high-pitched voice

you love how he would hide the way his face would wince when you talk or the way his jaw slacked on your statement.

you smiled at the thought of him trying to take you out of his multi-million mansion because you were pushing boundaries he built for you

“yeah.. sure, what do you wanna watch?” he assisted you by the waist as he brought you up the stairs.

you wanted to get out, you wouldn’t think that it would go like this. fuck the boys manual maybe it doesn’t work with hot rich guys

“the notebook, i LOVE that movie” you smiled and you could see how he expected that

as you laid in his sheets, which you felt deeply sorry for actually staining his pearly and silky shits with your outside clothes, but your pride held you high. if you fell from your pride or for him then maybe then you could wash his sheets.

the room was dimly lit, the ambience warm as he intended.

he sat next to you, with distance for respect according to cheol’s brain.

you couldn’t predict him, and maybe he sends mix signals, and that made you feel less guilty because you concluded that he’s a womanizer. he knew all of these antics a little too well.

“it’s getting hot” you sighed fanning your face adjusting your dress to the right extent, you held your hair exposing your neck to him making sure he saw it.

"really? my ac is so low right now" he was surely acting oblivious.

you may be frustrated at him for not taking your hits but you guess it would make a good build up, meanwhile he was there dumbfounded from all the tricks you pulled, he was slowly getting hard but that's another story.

he was thinking if he should drop it, it seemed like you just wanted a one night stand, but speaking of the devil (angel) jeonghan sent him a text showing him how much money he would be getting if he proved them wrong.

somehow in the end all of his friends were convinced that he would stay bitchless. there was a whole chapter within their groupchat making fun of what he said earlier at the bar.

truth be told, he didn't give a fuck about the money, he wanted his dignity and pride back.

"my body is so warm because of all the shots i took though" you reasoned out quickly.

"well my body is really cool right now" he faced you slowly pulling you close but you had other plans

you quickly kissed him as if you were desperate for it.

"mmm- i think we should slow down y/n" he rushed to tell you.

you wanted to grin so bad, victory laid on your side, but you had to put a sad face asking him if he no longer likes you repeatedly as he escorted you out of his house.

you quickly twirled and skipped across the road when you were sure he was inside already. he was there though, watching through his window.

maybe he had to step up.

day 2 : the in-laws

there was not a single text on cheols phone the next morning, soon learning your phone was inside the purse you left at his house.

he wanted to scan your purse thinking of a way to sweep you off your feet today. but a gentleman doesn't mess with a ladies purse.

after the the long chat you had last night, you exchanged your details to each other which now led cheol to your apartment building with flowers and a wide smile.

"hi i got these for you-"

"wait cheollie, say hi to your mom !" you cut him off with a smile

his face quickly shifting, you what?! he was slowly shaking on the inside quickly settling down your purse, flowers on your coffee table.

"h-hi mommm" he grinned as if his mom could see him.

"seungcheol i didn't raise you to hide your partners from me like this, i really like y/n you know, so when's the wedding?" his mom ushered

"a wedding?" you gasped and started screeching as if it was real

"we'll see mom haha.." he replied deranged from the situation made just 2 minutes ago. he quickly hung up before his mom could get any more ideas.

"well that was interesting, i didn't know that you knew my mom" he restrained himself from losing himself.

"well i have to meet your parents anyways right, cheollie?" you smiled at him

"yeah, but we just met yesterday" he deadpanned

"well, you don't think we're gonna work out" you started sobbing in front of him making small obnoxious hiccups

"well that's not what i meant baby" he hushed and spent the afternoon babying you while whispering sweet nothings in your ear.

day 3 : monday flings

"i seriously cannot fathom how much patience he has to reach day 3" you genuinely lay your opinion

"i was a complete total psycho, but he must be mental" you said to yourself

"that's fucking crazy because if i had to put up with that you would never hear from me again" sakura said bluntly which bruised and praised you at the same time

"i need a break from my alter ego as well, i hope he has no plans on asking me on anything anymore at least"

the day went as if you had never met choi seungcheol at all, which made you relieved for at least having a rest day, sure it was such a short time but god how tiring it was to be somebody else

"i just really realized how to fit in somebody else's shoes" you sighed as you and your friends exited the building together ready to go home and simply pass out.

"then don't fucking wear them" karina said

"but this is the whole point, being a stereotypical woman in a relationship"

you all soon parted in your own ways as you walked through the neighborhood near yours, you realized you just walked passed by seungcheol's house and this made you walk a bit faster and try to fabricate your distinguishable looks. but guess what

"aw baby don't hide from me" he coos slowly pulling you in his embrace.

"i was just looking for you" he smiled as he rushed you into his home

you somehow wished he could just stab you right now.

he led you to his living room filled with rose petals and candles dedicating a whole playlist of his vinyl records for you. you spent the evening sharing his home cooked dinner, which was actually delicious. and he soon brought out his photo albums from when he was a kid.

"do you think our children look just like you?' your sentence made you freak out but you supressed it wanting him to be affected by your vicious visions.

"how about we go back about the marriage thing for now" he faked out a laugh.

"i want this to be our family's house too" you sighed in content while scanning the architectural structure.

"if that's what you want" he smiled and pecked your forehead, which had caught you by a surprise.

"it is" you smiled, you didn't want to admit it but something formed within you when he said that.

"i'll be having a boys night tomorrow so i might not respond quickly to your texts"

"is it strictly 'boys only' ?" you asked forming an idea and swallowing these funny feelings that have bloomed within you.

"well it had always been"

day 4 : poker night

if fate was inevitable, they should you hit you up then.

you were in a cab with your hands filled with cheol's place in mind.

"cheol having a 4 day record is worth celebrating" jeonghan teased

"it's been that long?" mingyu asked actually impressed

"i've been in a lot of relationships since college, stop making it seem like im a loser" he sighed

"probably just in college" minghao retorted

"it's probably going well, maybe next year she could meet his parents" seungkwan noted

"please, she met them the second day we met" cheol answered scoffing at the thought

"now i know why girls are driven away from you" jun cringed at cheol

"she called them herself the day we met, she even said that our children will live here, and she tried to sleep with me the first day we met !" cheol finally shared his experience the past few days

"ooh feisty and a woman with a plan, that's so horanghae coded" hoshi smiled reaching his palms out and curling the ends of her fingers.

"you're going delusional again hamster" minghao smacked the back of hoshi's head causing the latter to relieve it by rubbing his head.

"maybe cheol could get laid now with her bold behavior, someone who can tame mr. pride-over-pants-down-choi-seungcheol over here" joshua said

"she's just a bet-"

the violent reactions that flashed through the faces of his group-mainly cheol when you came in the door in the middle of the game.

the guys quickly recovered teasing cheol for being so attached already calling her over for a boys night.

"hi guys!!" you said excitingly trying on your best cute expression you could muster up while hoshi replied to you with the horanghae pose as you quickly reciprocated it.

"i just thought i could put some of my stuff here so you could always remember me cheollie" your eyes twitching the moment your face was parallel with the wall

cheol was in awe with the first few vases you put out, until there were at lest 13 in his living room only. his house looking like he was out there selling urns

you were going around his place disrupting them, even changing their ambient music into some of britney spear's playlist

and even making very concerning screams around the kitchen just behind the living room.

"cheollie, can you get me some water" you whined when you heard them telling cheol it was his turn

he caught you reaching out unto the cupboards for a glass, he quickly got you what you requested and leaving you there

you were quick to grab onto his arm and grab the cigarette out of his mouth.

"you need to stop smoking" you tell him genuinely, his demeanor sensing your honesty his brows rested as he gave you a smile.

"i need to keep my lungs healthy for our children huh?" he teased you with a knowing smile

day 5 : ghosting

after his game with the boys, you two spent so much time together after.

he was being sulky after receiving his first losing game last night from all your disruptions last night.

but he never mentioned you being a nuisance, and just maybe because it was stored somewhere deep his chest the frustrations he held

but you stayed clingy to him filling him up with your presence even when you already went home flooding his texts until it was dawn

today you decided to stay low, you were lying in wait in this part of the plan

by doing so much the past few days today you decided to give ghosting a shot

"god i just wanna die if i need to go through this just to find a decent human being" you sighed frustrated at yourself

you wish you could stop now, there was 150 bucks on the line

or this is what you thought that hindered from you from stopping, you stared longingly on your laptop

quickly dialing his number you grinned at the sound of his voice

day 6 : a large iced diet coke and a kiss to go

today you planned on watching a knicks game with cheol, it was both your favorite thing to watch.

the stadium filled with cheers as you were shaking with thrill watching the tight game among your favorite team handling each other by the neck

most of the game went well according to cheol

during the break the venue managers continued to do the kiss cam.

you were interested looking at random people sharing affection through this stupid camera. but you didn't know it would face you.

you saw your face light up with surprise as the other guy next to you exposed on the kiss cam

you were looking at him

"i'm-" the guy was cut off when seungcheol grabbed you by the nape sealing your lips with his plush ones, the camera then panning to the both of you instead of you and the other guy.

"you weren't in the kiss cam" you said smiling- wait no don't.

"well i was just now" he said cockily

"i'm not gonna let you kiss him when i'm here" he said and that lit a fire within you

the final part of the game resumed as you both were cheering wildly through the crowds

it was time.

you asked cheol to bring you coke since you were extremely famished according to your words.

cheol quickly glanced at you, the bottom of the stadium, on the scoreboard, and back to your eyes.

he quickly ran getting you the drink that you wanted.

"i cant drink too much sugar though i need the diet one" his face turning into a distressed one jogging back up the long steep flights of stairs as he huffed to the vendor that you wanted the coke one, being only available to watch the game through the small monitor by the ceiling

there was about 3 minutes left, your team still having time to win over

he rushed back to you quickly handing you your coke, but there was another thing-

"i need ice cheollie" you whined at him, he groaned but still went over to do it

only a few moments left before the game ends the vendor still working on you precious drink, seungcheol staring at the monitor.

you felt bad, like actually. but you had to keep this up

you were enjoying the game until you were drowned in your thoughts on how you were ever gonna ask for his forgiveness after all this

you were a bitch and get over your act.

the crowd calling out through your ears realizing your favored team won, you had to force a smile especially a lovely one at cheol to make him think you were being a menace

maybe if you pushed him enough you could end this sooner, you can't admit that he was charming, handsome, and his behavior is no less than how a gentleman should act.

sorry coups.

the game ended, you were exiting the venue with cheol as his arm around your shoulder quickly calling you a cab home.

"thank you for this babe" you smiled passing him the cup, hoping you were rude enough for him to not call you up anymore

"no problem, you gave me your other ticket to watch with you anyway" he smiled pecking you before you left.

he crumpled the cup and threw it away.

day 7 : the revelation

you and cheol spent this day with a quick breakfast by the small cafe nearby, chatting through the busy streets of your city, he asked you to come to his event tomorrow which you accepted. after breakfast there were barely any interactions coming between the two of you.

why stay through this conditions?

well we bring you to the day 1

you were troubled writing your new article on the magazine company you were working for.

your boss expecting so much from you, you simply cannot write anything too political or anything controversial at all, so you stuck on to writing these stupid "how to" to articles which was a huge success for your company.

you were stuck, nothing to write, drafts filled with calling out peace for all countries experiencing genocide and territorial invasions or calling out to politicians who were legitimately caught only on scandalous events but never the seat of any meetings.

you were a writer a "how to girl", you swore you did it all and wrote them, how to talk your way out of a ticket, how to feng shui your apartment and even having those little tests you wrote printed by the magazine.

seungcheol was a lawyer, he stayed in his grandfathers law firm, his grandfather desperate for him to get wed and have a family who will take care of the firm and would take care of him as well.

seungcheol's grandfather knew his luck in love, so he prayed that even when he passes, his grandson will still have someone to be with.

day 8 : pride over love

cheol came over to your place at dusk seeing you with your flattering yellow dress with a backless cut on the back.

he was stunned by your beauty, his hand leading to his chest.

"my god" he whispered to himself as he paced closer to you

"you're gorgeous" he smiled as he kissed your temple

"you don't look to bad yourself" you grinned at him

you decided to stay in your apartment for a while as you settled a few of your stuff before you leave

he glanced over your record player and fidget over your albums then he finally sat down digesting the whole essence of your place, it was hard for him to stay still thinking that you were some dumb bet but he knew you were more than that, he knew you we're attractive but the breeze tonight was only revealing your true selves to each other.

you came in the room with your purse settling it by the coffee table as your favorite song came by, you couldn't help but singing along to it

and other girls dreamed that they'd be cheol's partner

they'd be cheol's partner and

you're so vain

you probably think this song is about you

and then you both exploded in to giggles proceeding to do silly dances before heading out.

you both arrive at an immaculately decorated building, you could already hear all the people chattering inside the building making a light buzz on your ears

"cheol, you should come meet our new stockholder" his coworker ushered him as he looked at you with slight worry

"i'll be fine you should go" you pushed him lightly and he just nodded at you making a phone call sign telling u to call him if anything happens

it was a while when you were just sitting by the bar drinking your nth drink for the night, it wasn't your intention to do so, but that was the only thing that can occupy you. you didn't want to bother cheol on his night so you stayed lowkey.

you weren't drunk but you rethink because you didn't know why seungcheol's grandfather ushering you to talk to him.

"so i heard that you have been seeing my grandson" he started

"oh yeah i am" you politely answered, guilt wrapping you up when you realized that you were only feigning everything.

"i'm glad that he told me about a girl he goes out with, he barely tells me anymore because they don't last long" he giggled

"oh really? i would expect him to be married by now actually" you joked with him

you felt comfortable around him, his friends, his relatives, and even his co workers, they really provided you with a nice environment.

"i'm happy that you stayed with him even after knowing that you just started as a bet-"

"excuse me?" you were violated.

"i mean please excuse me i need to get some fresh air"

there was regret in mr.choi's face but it also held worry, was it true? you were a bet? what did he win for you? for this? what did he mean that you started as a bet?

you were furious, you knew you were also doing him wrong, but you felt bad for all of it.

it wasn't helping that you had to admit to yourself that you did like him. even through the fucked up situations you had this week, it was all messed up, fake.

but even in all that chaos, he was consistent, he was there.

now you're doubting if that was his acting as well

because now you were burning everywhere, because you knew you crossed the fine line along the feigned adoration over real devotion.

you adore choi seungcheol.

but now that meant nothing.

quick and heavy foot steps were heard behind you

"y/n!" cheol managed out with huffed breaths

you faced him with disdain painting your face.

“wow, you’re gonna run away after you defy me?” he laughed sarcastically, his face sullen his eyes filled with fury

“defy you? what about you making me a bet?” it dawned on him realizing that you knew about his faults too.

it was true, you did defy him, not that it was your choice, you had to do it for your job, you wrote about him, one of your how-to blog and magazine experiments.

how to lose a guy in 10 days

this was your last project being a part of this magazine line. you swore you couldn’t keep on using people for an article, you planned on being a journalist after quitting, after making him your last.

because after all, you love him.

your article could also be called “how to stupidly fall in love and find a man in 10 days”

“it was a bet at first, then i fell, but you just played me” he looked at you as if you just stabbed him straight to the chest

“what?” you said confused

“leave. i don’t ever wanna see you anymore” he warned

“didn’t know you could stoop so low, and don’t worry i will”

“how to lose a guy in 10 days huh?” he started “lucky you y/n because you just lost him” he uttered walking away.

the night turned completely upside down, both of your chests swelled with guilt, shame and anger.

your heart dropped, but you just swallowed you pride and left.

day 9 : drive me out of town

quickly packing your things to leave, you won’t do any good here now that everything is tainted by the man you met just a little more than a week ago.

you spent your whole day just wallowing the sadness from your love life leaving your friends, your apartment.

you published that article about choi seungcheol to have income before you left your low life and start as a struggling journalist to do what you always wanted, to write about more important things

conventional, innovative, a cry of the oppressed.

but people seemed to worry if blondes were more fun than brunettes.

you truly regret using him, but you both did the wrong things to the write people, only fate knew that.

you rode your cab ready to leave this damned city to move to another identical one.

the familiar streets slowly blurred into the abyss of the distance as you called your friends and relatives one by one just catching up and telling them little life updates.

you were sad, but you knew that seungcheol is probably feeling a lot more than you were.

the darkness of the sky basked you a sense of comfort, there’s always a new day.

you wished him peace.

it was a fault writing about him and confessing about you felt at the same time, but he deserved the last bit if honesty left to your fake situationship.

a raging motorcycle suddenly honks at your vehicle endlessly. your cab giving way but it seemed like it wasn’t what the motor rider meant

“OH MY GOD PLEASE STOP” you told the cab driver when you realized it was cheol’s bike.

was he planning to run you over?

you got out displaying yourself in front of the man you loved.

“y/n, it was all true” he said taking his helmet off he huffed tiredly but not slowing down his pace to get close to you

“what are you saying?”

“i liked you that’s why i agreed with the bet, hoping you would like me back, even though your personality was hard to work with” he laughed to himself

“why are you saying this? why now?”

“maybe i flipped the page too quick not seeing that you loved me as well”

“love”

“what?”

“i still love you” you whispered

“you won your bet a little too well mr.choi seungcheol”

“i love you too, and i don’t care if you pull your annoying your girl antics i still love you”

“that wasn’t me” you laughed

“well there was a part of you who did it, and i love all of you” he smiled showing his gummy grin.

you couldn’t help but feel free, you weren’t stuck in that annoying girl’s body forcing the guy you love to hate you.

“kiss me, cheol” you teared up

he didn’t need to be told twice as he rushed to close the distance between the two of you, his lips crashing to yours savoring every inch of it. your head shifting in sync as you both connected not wanting to let go.

today’s day 1. the first day of making it real.

day 10 : my heart, it lies within yours.

passed 12 am

i guess you did actually lose your bet now with your friends. at day 10 choi seungcheol was plush against your skin his lips in yours, and your hands in his hair.

“i hate that you have me wrapped around your finger” he groaned onto your lips

“i hate that you actually won your stupid bet” you sighed

“i always win, and this feels so much better than winning” he said lifting you

your bags left on the floor the moment you reached his home, he told you to call it yours as well, from now on.

your silence didn’t last long when the both of you were longing for each other leading you up to this moment.

“hm so cocky huh?” you teased him as you started kissing down on his neck as he laid you on his bed.

you pulled down on his tie realizing he was so busy at work all day.

you kissed him once more and switching the positions that you were previously on as you climbed onto his lap and continued making out

your hands wandering on his hair and his hands on your ass.

your tongue interacting as he let you do whatever you want, his hands started wandering on your body leaving your skin burning for more.

your kiss being more needy as you started to grind on his hard on. he groaned onto your lips leaving you to grind harder.

you started to unbutton his clothes as he followed suit, removing yours as well.

he was pulling on his tie

“no” you stopped him

“keep it on love” you commanded

he could throw you and turn this around, but he didn’t. he enjoyed this a little too much, loving the feeling of being taken care of.

you both were left on your under garments except him having his tie on

he looked so hot having his tie rest on his smooth and hard muscles, his abs and pecs shining from the moonlight.

you continued grinding on him until he held your hips to stop.

“let me have you first please” he sighed as he laid you down on the bed as he knelt on the ground facing your crotch.

he looked at you as if he was asking if he could remove it and you nodded back at him.

his blonde hair a bit messy as you caressed it and tugging while he was removing your underwear

his face getting closer to your heat as he started kissing on your thighs slowly.

his lips then met with your clit as he sucked slowly then proceeding to lap on your entrance already making it soaking than it already was.

his tongue bending slightly when met with the entrance teasing it and slowly stretching it.

his right hand caressing around your waist as the left one kept it on your thigh refraining it from moving.

his fingers slowly worked his mouth as he slowly dipped one into your hole.

his finger was thick, 2 of your fingers were your frequently used ones, but his reached so much deeper, felt so fuller.

he hummed against your clit as vibrations flooded through your veins. he added another finger making you writhe and pull on his hair more.

you pulled him up kissing his plump lips before making him lay down on the bed.

you held his hands as you put it above his head, you weren’t intending to restrain them at all.

his biceps protruding so well when you raised it keeping it there as you licked and sucked on his neck slowly removing his boxers.

you wanted to cum with him tonight.

his eyes went dark seeing his large dick lining up to your entrance, he wanted you to ride him, he wanted to stare at your beautiful body while you felt pleasure because of him.

"no condom?" he asked heavily, he wanted it, he wanted this, but he also wants to make sure that you're doing what you desire, not wanting to make regrets again.

"i don't care, fill me up, make me pregnant" you said in a daze, but even without the lust you had right now, you still would say yes.

"fuck" he groaned hearing your words

his length standing tall, he was already so girthy, his tip leaking red.

he wanted to feel pleasure with you, not just sitting there like some fuck doll.

you lined the tip with your entrance as you slowly sunk down already feeling an enormous stretch.

"god your cock is so big" you moaned as you rested your head by his neck sucking there to distract yourself from the slight pain.

his hands went down to your waist as he pushed you further, taking him all in.

he was sent to paradise with your walls crashing to his length, engulfing it in its warmth

"your pussy was made just for me, love" he groaned as his hands guided your waist to ride him.

you were releasing moans as you rode him, it's as if he was still getting bigger inside you.

you then leaned back to your position staring at him with his tie, he looked so hot with his abs clenching every time you squeeze his dick, and how his sweat made it look like he was glowing.

he was laying back with the most drunk in lust face he got as he bit his lower lip just staring at you bouncing at him.

every curve of him filled you even more hitting the right spots that led you to your high in a few more moments.

you both released at the same time, but cheol was far from over with you

he flipped you around entering you in a missionary position, he was truly strong as he pumped himself in you with a new found energy hitting even deeper than before.

he caressed the bump his dick made deep on your stomach.

he made a guttural moan just by the thought of you being able to carry his children by the very belly he's fucking oblivion to.

you pulled onto his tie causing it to tighten a bit that he moaned. you kissed him sloppily as your saliva mixed and dripped to the side of your chin.

he went down leaving marks on your delicate skin, already having red marks on your neck, he made sure to give your tits some love.

he sucked onto your left one and massaged the one on your right, continuously flicking it. his other hand made its way to massage your clit, which made your back arch and scream his name.

"fuck seungcheol" you moaned

"seungcheol? i thought you called me cheollie" he smiled at you with a shit eating grin

you could barely even give a response, you were simply brain dead from all the pleasure you had.

his pace going faster and faster as massaged your clit to a higher intensity, you both were sent over the edge for the second time tonight.

he slowly removed his length, as your hole felt the emptiness you groaned. your mixed arousal slipping out of your pussy as cheol just stared at it.

he inserted two fingers fucking the cum back into her, you moaned at overstimulation, he continued fucking you with his fingers.

"aren't you doing too much mr. choi?" you glared at seungcheol.

"gonna make sure you keep all of it" he said as she shakes his head giggling.

you pulled him down onto the bed as you sat up stuffing your underwear in his mouth making him moan out loud.

"your turn?" you grinned.

i felt like i could do better :") im sorry if this is bad.

taglist <3

@luchiet @sebongmochi @yawnseu @christinewithluv @musingsofananxiouspotato @raggedypansexual @90s-belladonna @nerdycheol @xcynthiaaa @inexistent-bluemind @jenoxygen @i-dont-give-a-fok @nmosyne @sleepzyy @justanarchiveforfics @springdaybreaks @k07-1313 @dunixxd

[direjoon]

SYZYGY [1]

✩ pairing: alpha namjoon x chubby fem!omega reader

✩ genre: wonderous , soulmates , strangers to "friends" to lovers , fluff , romance🔞 , life lessons , slice-of-life , brief angsty situations , happy ending

✩ word count: 6.4k

✩ chapter warnings: cussing , cover art does not depict fmc features, drinking / mention of bar hopping , Namjoon is drunk upon meeting FMC but there is nothing that happens! , lots of inside feelies and thought processes

✩ summary: Namjoon would say that he truly lives the normal life. As an alpha, he works the job he wants, he goes out when he has time, and he has never received a single late-fee on payments. He's living the mundane life- until an unknown omega literally drops into his life. Where did she come from? Why him?

✩ cover: me

ch.1 , ch.2 ...

“It is your time, precious one.” 

“What if- what if I’m scared?” 

“You have no reason to be fearful.” 

“I was born to do this- he is just a man, an alpha that I know nothing of- what if we are not compatible like you say we will be?” 

“Do you find me inconsistent in the success of my pairings, precious one?”

“No, I am just afraid I will not live up to your expectations now that I am to be on my own.” 

“Oh, my dear, that is the reason you were matched.” 

“What?”

“Please, trust me once more and trust yourself always from now on.”

“Of course.”

“It is she that loves all thy flaws.”

“It is she that loves all thy flaws.”

Namjoon

It’s another small bar that plays shitty remixes. The only good things about these places are the owners with their intimate service and the perfectly made drinks. 

“What song is this?” Namjoon just about screams into Jimin’s ear. Another remix plays, probably by a newer pop star that he has yet to familiarize himself with. 

“I don’t know or care! It’s your turn!” Jimin points at the messy stack of cards in the middle of the small table. Namjoon gives a lazy eye roll and intently looks at the cards in his hands once again. 

“Do you have a five?” He turns to Seokjin to scream into his ear. 

“Hah! Go fish, bitch.” Namjoon begrudgingly pulled another card from the only neat stack on the table. 

“Can we pick something else?” Namjoon yells between the two, hoping to God that they heard him and will take pity on him. 

This is the one night in a whole month that he has had time to go out and forget about his job. The first shitty bar was just what he needed. Drinks were made with alcohol that was poured with a heavy hand and the music was chosen perfectly. You always have to start with the loud, dance club settings when you bar hop. Then, by the end of the night, you’re sitting at a chill bar that provides board games for its patrons and puts the correct amount of alcohol into drinks. Plus, if you have the right vibes, you can score some free samples. By now, the owners have given them a few too many and all three of them should definitely leave soon. 

“I have a better idea!” Jimin yells. Instead of the others responding, they just wait for Jimin to say what’s next on the agenda. He’s basically been running the whole night, deciding where they go next and what the feel is after each one. He’s the pro. 

“Let’s go home.” 

“Thank god.” Namjoon mumbles to himself. Immediately starting to put their cards away in a mess of backwards and upside down stacks. It was Seokjin’s turn to pay for the tab, so he’s up and heading for the main bartender in a hurry. Apparently they’ve all had enough for the night. By now it’s not just fun noiseless thinking and laughing about ‘the good old days’, it’s tired mumbling and sighing at the hit of cool air that greets them outside of the bar. 

“Ugh, Joon, you should just let us crash at your place. I really can’t imagine the price of a cab right now.” 

“I don’t care, I just wan' be horizontal as soon as possible.” Namjoon mumbles at them, already leading the way to his studio apartment. 

"You're such a fuckin' nerd." Seokjin giggles to himself, making Jimin join in."

"Because I use 'horizontal'? Ya'll can fight over the fuckin' couch cuz' you're not sleepin' withme in my big, sof' bed." 

That just eggs them on more, leaving Namjoon to lead the way as they stumble along behind him.

-

“Uh…Namjoon?”

Seokjin’s unsure voice asks behind Namjoon as he clicks his apartment door’s locks into place. His limbs seem to lag as he tries to peel his shoes and jacket off. 

“What?”

“I thought you said you didn’t go out last night.”

“Bro, I didn’t.” Namjoon adds a whiny ending in his answer. Both Seokjin and Jimin have been asking if he went out without them- the whole night he’s had to convince them he stayed in on a Friday night to work.

“Then, why is there an omega in your living room?”

“There’s not an ‘mega in my liv-” Namjoon finally pries his shoes off and turns to find a female standing just next to his couch. Her scent hits him like a bag of bricks- it’s fucking everywhere, like she scented ever piece of fabric in the house and pushed out some more just for extra measure. 

“Alpha!” Her bright eyes land on his still adjusting eyes. He’s trying his best to piece together why the fuck this is happening. He must be really fucking drunk. They must all be. There wouldn’t be a random omega in his home. He hasn’t touched another person in months thanks to the workload he has. 

“Namjoon? She’s talking to you.” Jimin pipes up, trying to cover his nose with his jacket sleeve. He can’t think the smell is bad can he? Namjoon thinks her scent is nice, really good, perfect even- but as his eyes turn to Jimin and Seokjin he can see their discomfort. 

“You’re talking to me?” Namjoon asks stupidly. He can’t, for the life of him, get ahold of a single thought. There’s no reason for her to be here talking to him. 

“Yes. I’ve been waiting for you.” She says surely. “She sent me to you.” She ends with a giddy smile. 

“Namjoon if you’ve got some weird roleplay going on please let us leave.” Seokjin says finally, pushing Namjoon into his apartment more to dispel the situation and- apparently- leave the stunned, drunk alpha alone with this unknown omega. 

“Who are you?” He asks, studying her to try and figure out if this was an omega he forgot he had a thing with before. Namjoon can’t imagine her as anyone he’s been with before- he’d surely remember a face like her’s, a scent so perfect. 

“Y/N. I’m your gift!” She says with certainty, never letting her smile leave as she waits for him to react to her. Instead, he just feels extremely light headed. With a few slowed-blinks, Namjoon collapses to the ground with a few thuds. 

-

"Please don't die. Please, please don't have drunk too much and die before I could do anything."

Namjoon wakes to a pounding in his head that seems to be speaking to him as well. A foreign voice worries around him. It isn't until a touch to his forehead that has him bolting up from a lying position to come face to face with a woman that he definitely thought he dreamt up.

"Oh, thank The Goddess! I thought you drank too much." Namjoon tries to push himself away from the woman, going as far back to his headboard as he can get. 

"I definitely drank too much, 'cuz who the fuck are you?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you'd remember." He watches confused as she seems to straighten the hoodie she has on- a hoodie he realizes is definitely his- and prepares herself for an introduction. 

"I'm Y/N, your personal omega match." She gives him a grinning greeting that shows her confidence and content in a situation he sure as hell isn't familiar with.

"What- what does that mean?" Namjoon tries to rub the hangover from his eyes, an ache being soothed only when a constant pressure is held to his temples. He listens to her as he continues his ministrations.

"The Goddess raises us, teaches us how to be perfect for our matches. No matter the combination, no matter the gender identity- there's always a match for someone. But, the chosen match only goes through if the one we are matched to deserves it. Our safety is her number one priority."

He takes in this headache of an explanation, trying his best to piece together why the hell he was chosen. He's trying to figure out if this is really happening to him- if this is real, despite him knowing of those that had been 'gifted' an alpha, beta, or omega. 

"I can help you with the pain, I was taught how to alleviate hangover symptoms."

"No, no it's fine, don't touch me." Her face falls at what he says upon opening his eyes. The look of devastation on her face worries him, itching to figure out why what he said had made her so unsettled.

"Oh, I'm so sorry."

"Why?"

"I have been touching you. I brought you to the bed and made sure you didn't sleep with your jeans on. And I've been switching out the cool rags all night to check if you were still sweating. I definitely should have asked."

The scent he was so used to he forgot about it, is now mixed with a burnt equivalent. 

“It’s alright. I was- yeah I don’t remember much. So, thank you for helping me.” 

“Of course! I love helping, I could make you soup if you’d like. I- I don’t know what you like yet but if you let me know what you need right now I can figure it out.” 

Namjoon gives pause at the sheer want that’s on her face, the softness in her scent now. He’s never had another person in his home making him things and wanting to take care of him besides Seokjin and Jimin. Those two will try to help him out whenever he even voices a discomfort, but this stranger is sat kneeling on his bed, tending to him as if he means something to her. He doesn’t know how this works exactly, where she comes from and why she’s so comfortable with him without knowing anything about him. He can’t just take advantage of her either. He’ll learn. 

-

Even as Namjoon prepares a soup he would most definitely not have put the effort into making any other time he was drunk, Y/N is looking over his shoulder and watching what he does every step of the way. Just as his dog at his parents house used to do, she’s right on his heels, trying to memorize the steps. Even worse, her scent is giddy-ingly releasing as if she’s not in control of it. Luckily, he finishes it without spilling or burning himself, setting the bowls on his only place to properly eat in his apartment- a small peninsula in his kitchen that extends to fit four people. He sits to find one Y/N having already gotten him water and found acetaminophen to set next to his bowl. 

“So, you were busy while you were waiting for me, huh?” Namjoon quips more than anything. He gestures to the air around them, the scent. His dry humor doesn’t seem to hit the spot, though.

“I’m sorry about that as well. I was so excited to see a home, your home, and your space. And- I know it’s important to not interfere but it just- came out.” She cringes at herself, her eyes finally leaving him to focus on her bowl of food. Namjoon finds himself hiding his smile in his bite of food, savoring the flavor that he hasn’t had in a while. His amusement doesn’t last long with his overthinking. The first bite of her soup is at her lips before he asks. 

“Did it smell bad? Is my scent not- ya’ know? Not good?” 

“No! Not at all. Your scent is- well- really good to put it simply. At first I was just so excited my own scent was pushing out, but then- I smelled you. It was addicting, and I found I was just curious about what our scents are like together. I’m sorry I disturbed your space.”

“It’s okay-”

“You don’t have to lie to me to make me feel better.” She states. 

“I’m not. You’ll come to learn I’m very verbal about my wants and disinterests- so I’m telling the truth when I say that your scent is ‘really good’ as well.” Namjoon makes a point to jab at her earlier description, finally bringing another smile to her face. 

“Okay, I’ll remember that. And I’m glad you like it.” She shyly admits. 

“Now that we know that, though, let’s just try not to push it out as much until we get to know each other better- just so we don’t act on instincts too haphazardly.” Namjoon politely suggests. He’d never put someone’s scent over consent and their verbal wants and needs- but if they are truly matched by The Goddess, then he knows that an interest will develop and then scents cloud instincts and will make them both do things they may regret. 

Looking at Y/N now, he can imagine it. He can imagine her being the omega he’d do anything for. Right now, his imagination is only based on what The Goddess has given him, though. That’s the problem. He needs to know her inside and out, not just her sweet, warm scent. The softness of her hair- long, warm brown curls that cascade down to her hips- needs to be a feeling that he could recall into his fingers at any moment. He would need to be able to lick his lips and taste her on them. She’d need to be ingrained into him, just as much as he makes sure he’s the same for her. They are the only two that will know each other as intimately as he wishes. Until then, he will care for her as he’s supposed to, and they will get to know each other- as friends. 

“Okay, I can do that.”

“And I’m guessing you had no clothes?” 

“I didn’t know they’d drop me here naked, I just grabbed the first things I found comfortable.” Again, she seems to be more embarrassed of herself in that realization, but she pushes on. “I can get a job. The Goddess taught me how to have good communication and hard work.” 

He didn’t think of that. Should she work? Does she want to work?

“For now, let’s just see how things workout, and if you wish to work, I’ll help you with the process. If you enjoy being here without one, or find out you hate it, then no big deal- I earn enough. Let’s get you some clothes today, though, some things that are better suited for your skin, yeah?” Her eyes light up immediately, her eyes never leaving Namjoon in the dark about how she feels. He likes that already. 

“I can go outside today?” 

“Y/N, you can go outside whenever you want-” He catches her ready to interrupt but he can already guess what she’ll ask. “We’ll talk about scenting another time. But, I am not going to tell you what you can and can’t do. I’m assuming you want to stay here-” A few satisfied nods from her is the answer. “Then we’ll have some basic rules. We tell each other where we’re going, or if we want to go out and do something- just so we know and just so we’re both as safe as possible. We don’t invade each other’s privacy ever- when doors are shut we always knock and when we’re curious about something we ask. We tell each other how we feel if we are having issues or when one wishes to communicate a change in the rules. We are two separate people who have our own needs, and we both need to respect that. I think those are most important, but- do you want to add or change anything?” 

“I appreciate how thorough you are, but where do I sleep?” 

-

"How about this? It's soft and similar to the one you're wearing." 

"Hmmm, I don't know if this is what I want to wear daily, though." 

"How about we just get some basics you immediately like and then we'll get more later on when you figure out what you like in broader areas."

The main issue with shopping for a once-celestial-being is that clothing was never a unique-based choice for them. Everything was uniform and based only on what that person chose to cover. 

"I like simple things, but I just want some more color." 

Namjoon scans the racks of the clothing, but only the sections with more colors. Even then, all of the clothing in the women's section is different. Cuts and flares are different or nonexistent. He finally just looks up to ask a question, but finds Y/N with two arms full of choices. 

"There's just so much and I've never tried them before…can I just try stuff on?" 

-

Namjoon waits an odd amount of time to see the first outfit that Y/N shows him. It's not a crowded store, nor are the stores around them busy. But, when she walks out with a tight forest green crop top that obviously shows she has no bra on he immediately feels like every eye is on them. He's not one that cares about it, he's definitely a 'free the nipple' kinda' guy. But the very brief sight has him standing up immediately from the waiting chairs and blocking her from the small entrance that people could see through. 

"This one is so soft and I love this color. The skirt is a little weird, though. Does it look okay?" 

Namjoon pulls his glued gaze from her face to travel down her body. A body that he is now seeing in a new light. The clothes fit as if they were made for her- even a small pudge of her stomach sticks out between the top and the skirt to pull his gaze in. The skirt isn't weird, it's a creme colored, long cargo skirt that is probably a new style he's a little unaware of. If anything, it's perfect and is as lovely as she sounds. It matches her, unlike his hoodies and matching sweats- though he has to stop himself from wishing she’d just wear his clothing all the time. He gets to her feet, his oversized socks and the smaller pair of slippers that Jimin usually wears in his apartment are on her feet. It's so cute and so soft that he has to completely ignore it to give her an honest sounding answer.

"It looks really good." He says it with a heady voice, already obsessed with how everything looks on her. "Is it comfortable?" He changes the topic to not have to say more than he needs to.

"Yes! I tried on some jeans but the baggier stuff and skirts are more comfortable right now. I can try those later on. I like the sweats and softer stuff, this one was just one I wanted your opinion on." 

"Okay, grab whatever you'd like and then we can get shoes and bedding." Namjoon turns before she answers, hoping he isn't stinking up the damn shop.

Now that they’ve left the clothing shop, Namjoon feels like he can breathe. Despite Y/N having already chosen what she’d found comfortable, she wanted his opinion on a few more options just so she didn’t get ‘too much’. He really didn’t mind buying everything she liked, but she was insistent on living with only necessities- just as she did before she was ‘dropped’. That’s how she describes it, so he will as well. All her clothing is plain and is like her clothing before, as she described. Tight, simple bands and flowy fabrics that were different shades of and between white and black. Now, she just wants to add color and, apparently, his opinion. 

“Why do I need extra bedding? Is there an omega version of most personal items? It was always pretty equal before- everything was perfect.”

“I think that’s the point of being directly raised by The Goddess, it’s all catered to you. You don’t think that a blanket could be two different things to one person there? Like, perfectly soft and fuzzy to you but silky and cool for another.”

“Oh, I never thought about it that way. We just got necessities there and, to be honest, there wasn’t a need to share.”

“It’s just easier for those here to have their own stores or versions of preferred necessities because of your skin. Clothing and bedding is softer in certain stores, products can be found in a large variety based on needs and wants as well, and depending on your second gender there are just other needs you have- you know that though.” Namjoon really hopes that this won’t be a conversation he has to have when they barely know each other. He couldn’t imagine The Goddess making things as important as heats and ruts to be something unnecessary in Her ‘magical land above’. 

“Yes, I know. I’m already recognizing that face you make. Please don’t be shy with me- I kind of lied about sharing things back then- we shared heats and ruts with each other if we wished. It wasn’t sacred there like it is here- it was just a means for survival and The Goddess knew it was something that was our choice. Here, though, it’s far more special and we are taught that- I’m only yours, and if you'd like, you’ll be mine.” 

She says these things with such confidence and assurance. He can’t just let her be this open without him giving that energy back, but he’s more so just not ready. This time to get to know her is crucial and keeping their personal information separate if wanted is important to him. He also can’t blame her, she just told him that their bodies were shared if wanted based on survival, and they were watched over all the time and provided for without having much of a say. It’s all just another thing to learn- he’ll learn to get used to her nonchalance. 

“When it comes up we’ll talk about that then and figure it out together.” Namjoon assures her, hoping he sounds as reassuring as possible. 

“Okay. Ooh, these are nice!” Y/N points at a specific type of blanket in one section. She touches the samples of comforters that line the wall under each different type on the shelf. He likes these comforters as well, the airy, padded blankets provide warmth but don’t make you sweat in the hotter months. 

“These ones are good during the hotter seasons as well- I think they’d be good.”

“Can I get two? For nesting.” 

This part doesn’t take long at all. Namjoon suggests some things and lets her pick out whatever her heart desires as this is all stuff he’ll be less helpful in. By the end, Namjoon is carrying the two clothing bags, and two regular pillows while Y/N’s usual giddy face doesn’t struggle at all to carry the two comforters and two plushies she thought ‘looked like him’. He tried denying the panda, but the koala wasn’t an awful comparison. (He folded immediately). 

“What’s next?” She asks with excitement on her face.

“We plan dinner and then go to bed.” 

“Oh..okay!” The excitement leaves her, but only for a second. 

She never thinks long about what it is she’s taking in. She’d definitely not one to take things lightly, as she said she’d been memorizing his fucking expressions, so it’s probably just content. She’s content to be here and do whatever he suggests because that’s all she knows. 

“How about we go out to dinner? Is there anything you like?” He watches her think for another slow couple of seconds, and then she’s excited again to talk to him. 

“Whatever is your favorite. I’d like to just try something new.”

“You’re going to be sorely disappointed.” Namjoon gives her a mischievous smile that’s more fond-looking when it’s directed at her. 

-

It’s a seedy pizza spot that is honestly not actually all seedy. Namjoon was never one to judge a place or person on how they look- so, when he stumbled upon this place that seemed to be the only thing open after a late-night recording session, he gave it a shot. It’s shitty on the outside with a dirty, worn down awning that could just be black on purpose and a sign that you can barely read. The inside is far better, luckily. It’s as clean as you could probably get the place without gutting it, and the owner is the one making the pizzas. It’s not very seedy because of that and the fact that the owner won’t share his real name. He named it ‘Mario’s’ only because he likes the games and wanted people to think he knew what the fuck he was doing. So, Namjoon isn’t sure- but the pizza’s fucking amazing. 

Y/N doesn’t look like she should be walking into the establishment. She’s bright-eyed and wanting to take in the world as it is her first time seeing it, technically. He doesn’t know how exactly she lived or what she has seen, but it really seems as if she’s appreciative of even the dust lining the crevices of the flooring. 

“Hey, music man. The usual?” 

“Yeah, but double it, please.” 

“Ooh, pretty lady here.” Despite Namjoon never having a jealous moment in his life before this, he immediately tenses up at the attention he gives her.

“Hi! I’m Y/N.”

“Very sweet, well I’ve seen you in here by yourself too many times- so, I’ll charge you for one order today, ey? Nice date, nice price.” 

“Thanks, man.” Namjoon tries to get the conversation over with, looking over to Y/N to see that she doesn’t mind one bit.

“Is this a date?” She suddenly asks, bouncing off the idea that the owner obviously put into her head.

“Just dinner as friends right now. I’d let you know if it was a date, I’m really possessive.” Namjoon says it a little louder than necessary as he leads her to a booth seat that conceals her from the counter’s view. “Let me pay, I’ll be right back.” 

Namjoon misses the giddy smile that Y/N has at the new information she now holds in getting to know her alpha. They aren’t each other’s yet, but he’s all she knows right now and he’s treating her so well. It seems bound to happen that he’ll become closer to her- her's, in all senses that she finds meaningful. It’ll mean she’s doing well, and that she won’t disappoint The Goddess or Namjoon. 

The wait isn’t long, Namjoon’s favorite part besides the perfect slices of pizza. 

“One pepperoni slice and one cheese. I’m a simple man.” 

“I like simple.” Is all she tells him with a shrug before she greedily eats the cheese slice. She talks as she eats, not caring for the food in her mouth. “Wow, there was nothing like this! We didn’t need to eat, but there were cravings in our time of heat. I usually craved something sweet, and with only the necessities being our priority it was usually fruit. We learned to cook basic things as well- breads, soups, and different kinds of rice.” 

Namjoon feels comfortable talking with a half-full mouth now as well, becoming more and more comfortable with a stranger that he just acquainted himself with this morning. 

“You’re in luck, besides music, I’m a professional take-out order-er.” 

“Mmm,” it seems she takes that information and is already imagining the good food that she doesn’t know exists yet. “I didn’t know you made music- that’s your job?” 

“Yeah, I produce music but I’m mostly at home doing it. Sometimes I’ll go in to help with a recording, but that’s not often. I just get paid to make the beats or change lyrics whenever they need help with that.” 

“That’s really cool. Could I hear something sometime?” She looks so interested, so enthralled by him that he almost chokes up at the attention she’s giving him. He doesn’t feel worthy as an alpha to be someone she’s interested in. He’s never had someone look at him like he has all the answers and can provide for her without a second thought. He knows this is a learning process for them both, but he’s thinking that she’s already set on whatever it is she was made for- while he’s just a man that is still figuring out everything himself. A stable job and a home that he can provide isn’t enough. He isn’t enough yet. 

“You’ll probably hear it all the time when I’m working during the week.” 

“Yay.” She gives him that same smile, now with her lips sealed because of the food in her mouth. Grease stains her lips and he has to push down the want to wipe it from her. Her lips, now that he’s looking, are plump and the pink of them is hiding under a layer of orange grease. Despite that, they’re still kissable, memorable, probably soft and pliant in times of need-

“Here’s a napkin.” 

“Thank you!” She takes it and immediately uses it. 

He has to stop doing that.

-

It’s only once they’re home and have hauled everything up to the apartment that Namjoon realizes it was a horrible idea to share the bed. He wants to be a gentleman and he doesn’t want to just push her away. She’s here for an obvious reason, they were matched- supposedly perfect for each other- and he only feels like a dick pushing her away to sleep on his uncomfortable couch. 

He shows her how to use the washing machine, and as they wait it’s far more awkward than he means for it to be. 

“Have you tried the TV yet?” Namjoon asks as she goes through her bag of clothes to show Namjoon the contents. He mentally smacks himself, he really didn’t have to ask, he could just turn it on and put a random show on to end the night. 

“No, I didn’t want to touch anything I wasn’t familiar with.” She’s nonchalant about it, why can’t he be nonchalant about it?

“Okay, I got these to sleep in, they didn’t have that many options so I hope I can borrow a shirt to sleep in if that’s okay?” She holds up a pair of sleep shorts that has far too little fabric. It’s her choice to wear them- he’s not a fucking teenager, he’ll be fine. 

“And I know it’s most decent, so I did find these to wear…” she has to find the tag and read them. “Sports bras.” She holds up the three-pack proudly to show him. Despite her being the one to show him, he feels invasive, immediately turning away after a quick smiling nod to turn on the TV.

“And then this skirt as well as this smaller one, and a more flowy one. The fabrics are nice- I like how different they are here.” 

“Very pretty.” He says, hoping it was normal enough. 

“Thank you! And then just a few more of those shirts like the green one and a couple hoodies and sweats like yours. We’ll match! Plus these shoes and socks will go with everything I got.” She excitedly looks over her things again and again. She’s so happy with just those, so happy with the simple things and the shitty restaurant that he’d never even think about taking a woman to unless they were much more comfortable together. 

In his thinking, he doesn’t notice Y/N standing in front of him until she’s holding up that pair of sleep shorts for him. He takes them without thinking, looking up from the couch to give her a questioning look. 

“You said we could talk about scenting later. Is scenting my clothes off-limits?” She looks down at him with worry in her eyes and a peak of worry slips through to make him weak in the- everything, really. 

“No, uh, no that’s okay.” It’s a possessive thing he feels when he scents the shorts, looking up at her as he gives them a good rub against his neck and even going the extra measure to make sure his scent is thick and potent. 

“There.” He hands them back, the soft fabric going straight to her nose to take in a whiff. He wants so badly to know how much she enjoys it, if she enjoys it as much as he enjoys her’s. She takes her time, then points to the pile of clothes. 

“Can you do the rest once those are clean?”

“Yeah.” It’s a breathy response, hanging onto the hope that he’ll be able to scent her at some point. Having his scent on her things, on her body, it truly finalizes the fact that she’s here for him. She was made to bless someone- all pretty omega, inside and out, and soft features with a soft body. She was made to bless him, he realizes. Though he doesn’t know if it was meant to be him from the beginning, she was still curated in a way that led them together. He doesn’t deserve it. Not when he’s clunky and unconfident in his abilities to be her alpha. His instincts are kicking in without the confidence to even put them to use. 

“Are you tired?” He asks, noticing her tired eyes and the shorts still lifted to her nose. He gets a nodding answer. Perfectly, maybe by fate even, the dryer chimes its finish, indicating that now both of her new blankets are clean and warm.

“Let’s get the bed ready, however you like it we can change it, yeah?” He’s suddenly antsy in his need to make his room presentable and safe. He’s grabbing both blankets and pillows and is in the bedroom before Y/N even makes it there, still becoming more and more tired after her adventures today. 

While he is just about freaking out over never having made a nest before, Y/N is at his side and pulling one thing at a time from his arms. She places the blankets haphazardly in his eyes, just making a small dip for her to cuddle into. Even in her fog of scent and growing tiredness, she is able to do what she needs for her comfortable nest. He even lingers on the fact that she’s making it on the correct side, probably having already noticed where his scent lingers the most. 

“Okay, we sleep.” she almost gets into the bed before Namjoon is tugging at her (his) hoodie, pulling her back. 

“No outside clothes. You need to be comfortable and clean.” She immediately obeys, pulling her (his) sweats down as he looks up at the ceiling to admire the texture. He remembers she needs one of his shirts so he uses that as an actual excuse, plucking a random one from the hangers to hand to her. He completely turns around for that part, waiting only until he hears her settle into the bed before he turns back to her. He catches her arm sticking out, patting the large space next to her, before disappearing again. 

She’s going to be the death of him, really. A pretty omega nesting in his bed. 

He’s a rod next to her. Stiff and trying to take up as little room as possible. He has work tomorrow and a new responsibility he has to navigate- he can’t just stay up all night and be useless in both ways. 

“Namjoon.” Despite how tired she was, she whispers to him with a lucid voice. 

“Yeah?” 

“I’m just- I don’t know- tense? Could I…sleep with your hand?” 

This is more intimate than he thought it’d be. To have her in his bed, wanting his wrist to scent freely and maybe even scent herself. He’s not one to take scenting lightly. To him, it’s special, and should be sacred to the one he is to be with for the rest of his life. He was fine with the clothes, he maybe even thought about it a few times since their shopping trip- but is this too much too fast?

“Nevermind, I’m sorry, I know we didn’t talk about that yet.” She whispers again. 

“Y/N.” It’s silent for a few long seconds. 

“Yeah?” 

“I’m not sure if I want to scent right now, but could I- could we just try this once and I can let you know how I feel?” 

“Are you sure? I know I just came to you so abruptly, I don’t want my presence to change your previous boundaries. I’ll do whatever you’re comfortable with.”

He really thinks about it, about how he’s felt before with others he’s been interested in. Even with Seokjin and Jimin, he’s never thought about scenting them or even needing to push out his own scent in situations that needed his ‘dominance’ for assistance. It was never something he prioritized, or had a reason for. So, the fact that it’s now wanted and needed, it feels intimate. But, maybe wanting to give this to her is what’s right. If not, and he’s reading this wrong, he’ll let her know. His own rule was to be open and to voice their concerns. 

“It’s okay, here.” He sticks out his arm before he can overthink it more. She takes his hand as if it were a precious jewel, her skin is just as soft as he imagined. Maybe it was even better- but he can’t explain it. All he knows is that his own skin seems to call out for her, yearning for a touch he has just met. A touch that he only knew of a second ago. He grasps onto her hand, rubbing his thumb into the back of it as she directs him to her nose. The brush of her nose is like static, a shock to his system that he’s never felt before. His sensitive scent gland there is immediately releasing his scent in wafts that she only snuggles closer to. 

“It’s so good. Is this okay?” She mumbles, clearly trying to keep a clear head as well. 

“Yeah, yeah.” He sounds like he’s trying to convince himself, but really he’s just trying to keep cool. “Do you feel better?” 

“Yes, it’s safe and warm. Thank you, Namjoon.” 

With her nose and upper lip pressed to his wrist- with a mumble of his name whispered into his own skin- he lets out a ragged breath, and he himself tries his best to drift to sleep. It isn’t long before he’s actually tiring down, her sweet, warm scenting pushing out to meet him. She could probably scent the nerves. He doesn’t mind how it happens, nor how they’ll wake up at this point. Now, he can rest, knowing a sweet omega is safe in his home.

[familyvideostevie]

hi baby i love your writing style so much :(( can i req a steve x fem!reader where steve is yelling at reader for jumping in after him at lovers lake. steves all angry at reader and doesnt realize he’s gripping her shoulders too hard and she tells him “you’re hurting me” (with a happy ending though)

thank you for the request my dear! i do love to try out some angst, though i hopefully wrapped it up happily enough. this has been written a million times but i never get tired of it. let me know what you think! | 0.7k, fem!reader, cw: steve grabs her and doesn't realize how tight

Skull Rock looks different in the Upside Down, much darker and nastier than the real thing. It makes your memories here with Steve seem fake, seem like they're from another life.

"Let me bandage you," you say to your boyfriend. He hasn't said anything to you since you fought off the demobats, and you know he's pissed but you can't figure out why. The entire situation is as shitty as it gets, but why does he seem to be mad at you?

Nancy hands you the fabric she tore up and you motion for him to step under the outcropping of the skull so he can lean back a little.

"So are you gonna tell me?" you ask as you wrap the cotton around him. The wounds ooze something that isn't blood and you wish you could clean them first.

"Tell you what?" His voice is stiff, dripping with a coldness you rarely hear out of him.

"Why you're pissed." Steve laughs but it's more of a cough, something harsh and hacking.

"Why would I be pissed?" He directs the words at his hands where he's holding them above his head. "Maybe because I told you to stay in the boat and you didn't."

"Well, we weren't going to let you drown, Steve," you say, frustrated. You try to keep your hands gentle as you tie off the bandage.

"I was fine! You shouldn't have come down here." He's not yelling but it's a close thing.

"Get over it, Steve." You don't know why you're fighting. Maybe it's the air, maybe it's how fucking terrified you all are.

"Now you've put yourself in the hands of the enemy and I can't do anything about it!" Now he's yelling. His hands come down to grasp your shoulders as if he could will you back to the surface with his touch. His eyes are wild and you think he might be on the verge of a panic attack.

"And now you're hurt --" he looks down at your bloody knuckles "-- and it's only going to get worse. Don't you get that? It'll only get worse down here." His hands are tight on you, like if he lets go you'll collapse in front of him. But they're too tight and you can feel his fingernails digging in through your shirt.

"Steve," you say softly, urgently.. "Steve, you're hurting me." He releases you like he's been burned, his hands shaking in the dark air. He backs up until he hits the rock behind him and groans, the wounds on his back still fresh.

"I--fuck," he whispers. "Christ, I'm so sorry." He looks like he wants to touch you but he wouldn't dare now, his chest heaving as he looks at his hands like they've betrayed him. You reach for him but he holds them out to keep you away.

"Steve, it's okay, I'm fine."

"No, I hurt you."

"You've given me bruises before, Harrington," you say, trying to get a laugh out of him. "Nice ones."

"This isn't funny," he says shaking his head. He runs a hand over his face and winces as it pulls at his side.

"No, I guess not," you sigh. "Please come here, Steve. You have to believe me when I tell you I'm okay. You're just freaking out. You didn't mean to." He tries to take big gulps of air, looking anywhere but you. You're dimly away of your friends watching all of this play out.

"I guess I am freaking out."

"We all are, Steve. This is insane."

"Should've stayed in the boat," he mutters, but he takes a step towards you and you lunge forward, hands framing his face. He only flinches a little bit.

"Fuck that, Steve. We look after each other. Even if it means ending up in literal hell." He nods, hands still shaking as they come up to cover yours.

"Yeah," he echoes. "Yeah." He might be filthy -- you both are -- but you lean in to kiss him anyway. A soft, quick thing, but it relaxes him. You can feel it.

"I'm sorry," he whispers. "I'm sorry for grabbing you like that." Your fingertips dance over the mark around his throat and your throat is tight.

"Don't dwell on it," you tell him. "I'm fine." He closes his eyes and gathers himself, no idea what's ahead.

"Okay," he says. He grabs your hand and faces the others. "Let's go."

tags: @cheerupbarry @srrybutno @97soroka @sunlitide @gloryofroses19 @carpediem1219 @themarvelousbee @sunshinehollandd @katsukis1wife @imherefortea

want to be added to my tag list? send me a message and specify for steve, eddie, or both!

reblog, send feedback, requests open, masterlist here!

[edgyonporpoise]

Prison of Plastic

Hey so I just finished reading/listening to Prison of Plastic, Epithet Erased’s book continuation, and my heart! Is full! My soul! Is nourished! And there is something spoilery! I have to scream about! Under the cut!

OKaY, so. I haven't seen Anime Campaign and I have no intention to, I wanna experience this story as it releases. BUT. Naven is absolutely 100% the secret final boss, right? They could be doing the whole "You thought the obvious twist villain was a villain, but there's a twist to this twist! Ooo~ooo~oo~~" but for now I'm operating on the assumption that he is and like. Fuck dude, he was so MAD.

In his little (hah, fairy) speech to Molly about talking to brick walls? That right there, is a normal person in a world with superpowers. Silly superpowers, but still, this story is very clear about how dangerous those powers are. This is a speech from someone who has Tried to talk it out, to have Mundie voices heard. He has tried to claw his way up, to build a respectable business run by, employing and catering to Mundies, to shove it in their dumb superpowered faces that normal people are still capable people.

And he is tired of being put down.

Tired enough to swing the wrecking ball through society, to tear down Epithets and everything they stand for. Think about it! Even if he is actually that nice guy we see, think about all the bullshit Epithets can cause. Think about the 17-year-old, so traumatized and scared of herself that she threw a tantrum so hard it took up his entire evening and nearly seriously injured 3 different people! (She threw Molly down a dumbwaiter. She nearly toppled literal tons of cake on him. She DISAPPEARED Rick's HEART!) Sure, it was an evening he had set aside for a speech class, but three hours late to finish it? He's a CEO of a multinational conglomerate. How many cross-timezone meetings did they have to reschedule? The fact that he takes the time out to make sure to urge Lorelai to check the message from Giovanni, even though no-one can see him and it doesn't seem to further any goal for recruiting Lorelai for his terrorist org besides making her feel better, makes me thing there's some sincerity to him. But that makes it all the juicier!

Makes me think of the line where Gio's spouting about people who think they're good but still do bad stuff! Makes me think about how Naven, snarky little pixie who's been playing along with Gio's rambles in any other way suddenly stops speaking at that point and doesn't come back in until after. (And maybe that's just for the flow of the scene but I can just imagine him floating in the background with suddenly flinty eyes while no-one's looking)

Makes me think of the little girl, the little girl he has implied he would kidnap (from what Molly's flashbacks said anyway) if it weren't for the laws holding him back, who crumbles under the weight of the world, of her family's business expenses. Yes, maybe Molly is right, maybe absolutely no-one knows what they're doing. But it is a human instinct to shield the children from the horrors of reality, to give them some small amount of time where they can be carefree. A shitty father, a bratty sister, and Epithets took that away from Molly.

Maybe Naven is just salty at Epithet users for looking down on him for being Mundie. Maybe he thinks he'll be doing the world a service, bringing it back to normal. Maybe he just thinks that these things are dangerous, and should be... Regulated in some way.

Maybe he's right? Even to people who do have these powers. People like Lorelai, who are scared of their own abilities. Or people like Mera, actively harmed by their Epithets. Or the whole IDEA of Ocean Country citizens being farmed for EXP. Damn, the idea of Down With Epithet Society makes a whole lotta sense.

And guys who make you think "Huh, that makes sense." are the most dangerous of all.

Silver-Tongued businessman, indeed.

[fastnights]

what are we? part three

eddie munson x fem!reader

summary: eddie realized he hurt reader feelings when it was too late, reader wants nothing to do with eddie at all

warnings: language, arguing, eddie tries to apologize to reader, eddie grabs on reader’s wrist, no happy ending as usual.

i don’t give permission to copy my work!

you was so over eddie being the biggest dick you ever knew. him and his stupid ass games he’s playing, you don’t play about your feelings and now that he knows how you feel for him and he’s still acting shitty, still haven’t once apologized since you last spoke to him when he came to your house three weeks ago. yup it’s been that long since you’ve had last talked to him.

you was so done with him and his stupidity you don’t know why he being jerk about you asking what you two were, he could’ve let you down much easier the second time but nope he wanted to be a dick when he came barging into your room, you wasn’t going to let him in either you was gonna let him stand in the hallway while you both were talking.

you were at the spot where eddie normally does his drug deals, you use to sit with him and watch him do his deal during his free period. but this spot is also the place you like to go when you want to clear your head when you want to be alone and not bothered. you heard something coming but no one comes out here besides you and eddie and his customers when he doing deals, so you were thinking who was coming out here while you’re trying to clear your head. you couldn’t be thrilled to see him and it’s the one person you didn’t want to be around or see. “hey, i just want to talk.” he said but you got up from the picnic table and began walking away you’re not having this conversation with him again.

eddie caught up with you and grabbed your arm to stop you from walking about from him, “can you stop being so goddamn stubborn and listen to what i have to say?” he said. “no, i don’t want to hear a damn thing you have to tell me.” you said. “you said what you had to say apparently two weeks again when you stopped at my place, if you were gonna apologize save it.” you added.

“i just want you to hear me out, i feel bad that i hurt you. i never meant to hurt y-.”

“that’s bullshit eddie, it’s a little late for sorry, you had all that time before to apologize. and it’s crazy how you know i would be here trying to clear my head, now i can’t do that because you’re here.” you said.

“i just needed time to gather the things i wanted to say to you, i didn’t want to make thing even worse for us.”

“eddie just let me go and leave me alone this conversation is over.” you said as you tried to get out of his grip but his grip on your wrist tightened. “you’re literally hurting my wrist eddie please let me go.”

“not until you hear me out.”

“i don’t want to, i heard you out two weeks ago and it won’t end any differently than it did two weeks ago. you’re not gonna waste my time with your stupid excuse of an apology.” you yanked your wrist out of his grip and proceed to walk away from him, you was so tired of eddie and his dumb excuses. why won’t he leave you alone you two are only friends right that’s what he said. you didn’t want to just be he friend you wanted to be more than just his friend, but you can’t always get what you want.

you walked to your car and got inside and quickly locked your door, you covered up your face and let out a long sigh, this isn’t how you wanted your day to go and seeing this side of eddie is scary, until he calms down and not be aggressive you may talk to him and try to clear things up but as of now you want to be far away from him as possible.

you don’t know if he was really sorry, he was just gonna repeat his stupid actions he pulled off when he was in your room, you didn’t like the way he came off that day it was a dick move for him to do that, you get it he sees you nothing more than just a friend but you don’t want to be friends with him not anymore, not with how he’s acting now. you finally got the energy to drive home and once you got home you went straight to your room and laid down on your bed just looking up at the ceiling thinking what would’ve happened if you would’ve continued the conversation with him, would it had ended differently than your conversation you last had with him two weeks ago or would it had been the same?

you can’t believe all this happened because you asked him where you both stood and since you got butt hurt that he friend zoned you then later acted like a dick towards you, you really don’t want anything to do with him as of now, if eddie wanted to talk to you any time soon he better not do what he did today or two weeks ago or he could kiss the conversation goodbye so quickly.

[thatlittleegyptologist]

i'm so… tired of the "england steals everything to shove in their museums" jokes. at first they were kinda funny (in the same way that a couple of the 'no homo history' jokes have managed to produce a half chuckle from me), but now it's just such a kneejerk, self-satisifed, smug joke that i'm just uuuuguhhhhhhh. yes, the english took stuff they shouldn't. yes, there is stuff that should be returned. no, it is not as easy as saying "just put it back" and sitting back and feeling proud of yourself and counting that as your one good deed for the day. no, england is not the only country to have taken stuff they shouldn't, please stop placing the entire onus of imperialism and colonialism just on england because you're erasing important parts of history whenever you do.

you guys are a lot more patient than i am, i would've started rage screaming and never stopped long before now if i had to deal with the stuff you guys get on the regular!

Yeah it's...grating. Some of them are quite funny, but being in this field and dealing with museums pretty regularly means you see a lot of them. Mostly because people send them to you and you have to be like 'ohhh funny' for the 10,000th time. At this point, they're relegated to the Pharaoh Rocher and Indiana Jones jokes. Funny the first time, but tired every time after that. It doesn't help. It's not activism. It's mostly just noise directed in the wrong place and not to everyone it should be directed at. There's so much focus on British colonialism (and we did A Lot of it), that it's allowing the colonialism of other countries past and present to just slip by in the background. I'm pretty sure it's because a lot of sources for those are not in English, so it's easier to just yell at the one thing that's in your own language without effort, but I digress. Dealing with this topic requires looking at every single participant and addressing the systemic issue, be it laws or stubbornness, rather than all the attention on just one. It's like dropping a plate of food on the floor and then only caring that the plate is broken. The plate is broken, and that's bad, but there's a fucking mess underneath that also needs cleaning up otherwise it's going to fester.

Almost no one in the field these days is saying 'oh yeah the British didn't steal shit', unless you're a Tory MP in Westminster. We all know the British stole shit. It's very well documented. Which brings to mind a series of events that happened recently:

A couple of years ago Westminster, in response to people talking about repatriation of things in the BM: Hey so this is up to the BM to decide. We, despite being the arbiters of the collection and having the power to overturn the law that prevents it, have no part in it so all the bad stuff is on the Museum and solely the Museum. BM: Ok, so we'll start work on that December 2022/January 2023 Papers: Deal between the BM and the Greek authorities to give back the marbles very close to completion Tory Culture Secretary: Oh yeah that law we need to repeal to allow these things to go back? LMAO NO. Never going to happen. It was never your choice to give them back. Literally everyone: BITCH THE FUCK?

I was fucking furious when I saw the Culture Secretary had said that. People are going to blame the museum, as they keep doing, rather than the government who refuses to change the BM63 act to actually allow things to happen. The government are happy people keep making memes about the BM stealing shit, because it keeps the attention and ire on the museum and not the government's shitty behaviour. It's literally playing into their hands.

Museum collections are very complicated. Artefacts have arrived there in all sorts of ways. Some legal. Some not. Some we don't even know how they got there because no one recorded it. Simply saying 'everything is stolen, it all must go back' belies a lack of understanding of these complexities, and an unwillingness to engage with the subject beyond 'I have made a statement based on limited understanding. I am right. You are wrong. If you challenge this you're the Worst'.

The last time I tried to tell people how museum collections form, without making a value judgement just simply saying 'this is how things get here', I got a lot of accusations from people like 'you love and defend colonialism' (fuck off, no), or 'you hate the idea of repatriation' (also no). I only wanted to show that museum collections are not 'all stolen' and the 'give it all back' crowd need to understand the difference between 'legally acquired object that the country it comes from does not want back' and 'illegally acquired object that the country of origin does want back', because, y'know, they don't want it all back just certain things. I found, however, that instead of engaging with the issue and the complexities that come along with it they'd rather not listen to those and be impotently angry through memes.

So, yeah, I'm sort of done hearing those 'jokes' and also done trying to talk about a subject with numerous complexities because people don't want to listen when something is harder than 'do this now'.

[meeeeeeri]

Things that really ANNOYED THE FUCK OUTTA ME while watching OUTER BANKS SEASON 3:

First things first: Big John AKA big old crazy dude

Let's just say that besides being a shitty father figure he also is selfish as fuck. He only decides to appear in John B's life whenever he needs him to do something treasure related, like ok big John, you love your son so much *cough cough*

In other hand, he also is willing to do ANTHING to find el Dorado, and by ANYTHING I mean killing people, tell me that's not what a psychopath would do.

And all the fricking screen time dedicated to the relationship between John B and his father???? Like we get that they need to bond again but DO WE HAVE TO WATCH ALL THE PROCESS?

No thank you Netflix, do better next time

I saw a tik tok that went something like this: Who said Ward is a bad person? Big John? cause if we wanna talk about someone BAD let's talk about Big John...

And yeah, that tik tok literally summes up my opinion about this individual.

Me roasting Big John with this post:

2: Rafe and the girl named Sofia who came out of nowhere

Ok. Don't misunderstand me; the idea of introducing a new character who's gonna play the girlfriend or fuckbuddy of Rafe is super super interesting to me BUT

Can you elaborate more their relationship????? Give more CONTEXT????

They could even use her apparition and do a BOMB ASS side story like idk maybe her being more cruel than Rafe or her having some kind of business relationship with Singh and betraying him in the process... WHATEVER

But I'm just saying that that would have been more interesting than the parental issues between Big Dumbass John and John B

A video of me crying while scenes of John B and his dad appeared on my tv non stop:

LOOK AT HIM HE'S SO CUTE LOVE HIM

3: Sarah and Topper

Don't even get me started on this shit.

When I saw that Sarah went back to flirting with Topper I was like WHA- WHE- WHO

But I'm not gonna question her that much because they are supposed to be playing teenagers, and that's what teenagers and (also) some adults do:

STUPID SHIT

And Topper... I really don't know how to feel about him.

He's like a shark who's ready to attack if he sniffs some blood (Sarah and John B breaking up or having relationship turbulences), but I can't even blame him that much because I feel like he really loves Sarah besides everything, and he really demonstrated it this season by helping the pogues out.

What Topper was replaying in his head when Sarah promised him that she would stay:

4: Sarah's thoughts when she was left with no family, no money and nowhere to go (she was homeless for like a day and decided to cope with it by drinking beer from an abandoned beer tap, ok)

Um... When I say I was expecting her to say something philosophical and life changing and SHE DECIDED TO CONCLUDE HER SPEECH WITH: I really don't know if I'm a pogue or a kook...

SIDE EYE

Girl I KNOW you are 17 but GROW THE FUCK UP.

You've been betrayed by your OWN FATHER and SHOT and nearly KILLED by your BROTHER and that's what you're thinking about???

Jesus Christ have mercy on me

All the build up story around pogues and kooks is really interesting (even tho it's like another form of saying rich and poor people) but when characters say shit like that it really makes no sense.

You have no home, no family, you argued with your bf and he left, and your friends are not there at the moment and YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT THAT IRRELEVANT SHIT? Damn

Ok, I think I am done with most of the things I wanted to say. There are MORE for sure, but these are the most important ones.

I have to be honest with you, I still haven't watched the last episode bc I really got tired of their bullshit. I love the show and I really love the characters, but this season just wasn't it. I am gonna try and finish it today with hopes that they will end it in a decent way (I don't think so but whatever).

It's not a secret by the end of this post that I'm a spanish native speaker so, yeah, I tried my best to write down correctly the ideas that I had about the show, so PLEASE don't come at me.

I'm also writing a fanfiction about Rafe, but I'm doing it in spanish because I feel like if I wrote it in english I would fuck it up.

Maybe I will try and start uploading Rafe imagines or smth like that, bc they would be shorter and easier to write for me.

PLEASE if you have any thoughts or a comment that you wanna add after reading my rant, just do it, I'm for sure gonna be answering y'all because I love to talk about the show and the characters.

BYE P4L

[sapphire-weapon]

I actually agree with you analysis with Aeon, because there is one thing that’s been bugging me this whole time about their “relationship”.

Leon states in Vendetta that he is tired of all the fighting, so much to the point to where he starts drinking. But what bothers me the most is that Ada in her shitty storyline is stealing samples to later trade as per orders of Wesker.

For me, it almost undermines Leon’s goal in the sense that the one thing he wants to end is being continued by the woman he is so in love with. Because of his love with her, he’s willing to turn a blind eye to her actions all because he loves her???

Leon’s character is being questioned. Which doesn’t make sense cause his whole thing is to save people but when the girl he loves is continuing the cycle that he wants to end, he just doesn’t care??? Like Leon was top of his class in the police academy, labeled as smart. But just because he sees a pretty girl his intelligence kind of just gets thrown out the window.

I like both characters, but i feel like their little cat and mouse game destroys both characters completely.

Anyway, sorry to ramble, keep up the analysis. i’m lovin’ it!

So, this has actually been my biggest source of frustration as a critic/analyst. Back when RE6 first came out, I was still heavy in the dwrp scene, and I played through the game with my buddy Seiko (who RPed the Chris to my Leon, at the time) and I just remember both of us at varying points being like "what the fuck is he doing??" "why is he so fucking stupid?? it's like he took all of Chris's stupid pills and he's like 'no it's my turn to give myself brain damage you already had your fun. B('"

And when we first beat Leon's campaign I just dropped my controller and leaned back and said, "Well. I guess Leon just became unplayable. So much for that shit. There goes five years of RP down the fuckin toilet. Thanks for nothing, Capcom." And Seiko had to be like "No, wait, hold on. We can figure this out." And eventually she was the one who finally realized and said: "It felt like his whole campaign was a cry for help."

And I have been trying to make that work ever since -- because it is the only way to make his character make sense, after a certain point.

It actually took me the better part of two years to fully form and crystallize my analysis of "Leon projects most of his trauma onto Ada because she's familiar and convenient -- and also it's a bit of sunk cost fallacy because he wasted so much of his life trying to chase her down, so he's forced to create and live in this delusion where he's convinced himself that she's working towards the greater good, even though he has absolutely no intellectual reason to think that considering the men she's worked for -- but he still has to force himself to buy into it because his entire sense of self has become wrapped up in all of this bullshit, and for him to confront and admit that he's been wrong about her all this time would literally cause his worldview to shatter and his mental health to completely unravel into nothing."

Because RE6, as it exists, is fucking nonsense. I already thought RE4 was pushing it, because I don't know how Leon could just... be okay with Ada working for Wesker. The only explanation is that he's become convinced that she's doing it for a good reason and is going to do the right thing -- even though he has absolutely no evidence for thinking that. A delusion is the only way for it to make sense, and RE6 kicks that into overdrive.

If you were to look at Leon and Ada's relationship and call it for what it was, the very uncomfortable truth that would shake out is that Leon himself is probably one of the greatest assets contributing to the perpetuation of bioterrorism research. He not just aids the US government in their cover-up stories and cleans up their messes for them, but he also actively aids Ada's efforts while she's working for guys like Albert goddamn Wesker.

If you look at it from that perspective, the grim reality is that the world might objectively be better off if Leon was to step down from his position, withdraw from the battlefield, or even off himself like he's always wanted to. He's not just a useful idiot like Chris was for the BSAA -- he is actively part of the problem.

And there's some part of Leon that knows that. But it goes against everything he claims to stand for.

And so, the only way to make sense of his actions is the explanation that his entire sense of self is wrapped up in this, and he's too deep in that hole to dig his way out now. He's aware, on some level, of the cognitive dissonance that's happening, and that's why he drinks.

So, it is very interesting to me that Ada has been MIA from the OG timeline since 6, and that Vendetta and Death Island made the move to have Chris and Jill officially move in as Leon's support system, when he didn't have one previously -- because, with the proper support system in place, it's possible that he can dig his way out of this hole.

But what will that mean for his relationship with Ada?

And so we look at the Remake series and see the foundation it's been laying...

And suddenly the horizon starts to look very, very dark for Aeon as a ship.

[yellowhollyhock]

I noticed in the episode samurai tourist people like saying how intuitive mikey was in noticing the role that Leo plays. But here’s the thing is it felt like he was defending Leo’s shitty behavior and telling Donnie and Raph their feelings aren’t valid. Also wasn’t Raph the first to notice Leo was fighting something else? The only reason Donnie and Raph were so hard on him at that is point is because Leo was being drill Sargent Leo to them except Mikey so of course Mikey had no issues with angry mode Leo because he wasn’t getting trained to death by the guy and yelled at. So I saw that as Mikey making excuses for Leo’s behavior all season. It feels like the logic of your mom defending your dad being an asshole. oh your father works hard to provide for the family! Don’t be so hard on him for drinking and yelling at you! Nice logic there Mikey Don and Raph had every right to be mad at that point.

Oh there’s all kinds of family politics going on during that arc

I think the main reason Mikey was defending Leo is because he’d just had training from him in Grudge Match. Also possibly he didn’t want them to be talking bad about him in front of guests? Almost like, yes this is an issue but let’s not do this in front of people. Which is thoughtful in a way, and immature in other ways. Which makes sense because Mikey is both thoughtful and fifteen.

Raph and Don have put up with a lot from Leo, and Mikey was shielded from the brunt of it. At the same time, Leo does go easy on Mikey for a reason, the two of them have a special bond and giving in by admitting his attitude is not okay might feel like a betrayal to Mikey? So yeah I do think he’s defending Leo’s bad behavior, and not really being fair to his other brothers in that moment. The whole family is trying to work around Leo’s demons though, they aren’t always going to make the right calls.

As to your point about Raph—yeah he seems to have picked up on the most the earliest and that’s why by Samurai Tourist he’s Done defending Leo’s behavior. He’s been patiently on the sidelines trying to let Leo work this out for himself and it hasn’t been working. It’s time to jump out in front of his brother and make the demons go away. Except he can’t because it’s not that type of enemy. This is the first time Raph hasn’t been able to reach Leo when he needs it, and that’s why he’s airing things out with Don. I think part of him hopes Mr. Fix-It will have some kind of solution the rest of them haven’t seen.

Meanwhile out of all of them I don’t think Donny’s trying to help anymore. He’s just tired of being yelled at and glad to have Raph’s ear about it. What they’ve all just lived through with Shredder’s defeat was very uncomfortably close to what he saw in SAINW. Probably literally everyone picked up on that except Leo, bless his heart. So we’re seeing both Raph and Mikey try to do their best for Leo here, but I think in their own (imperfect) ways also trying to look out for Don. Raph wants to confront the problem head on and Mikey wants to keep everyone happy in the moment. Neither of those things is truly an option, though.

I had a sibling go through her own type of Big Leo Arc and I remember these exact types of fights. Getting frustrated with each other when our approaches didn’t match up. With something like that going on, you have to be able to Treat Them Like Normal and make good memories in the middle of the chaos, and you also have to sometimes do what it takes to Dig Things Up so they can actually heal. I think we all tried both at one time or other and rarely were we on the same page. That experience definitely influences the way I see this arc (doesn’t make other readings less valid btw, just makes me extra obsessed with the family dynamics through those episodes).

I hope I kind of addressed what you were talking about? Short answer, Yes agreed let’s go easy on Raph and Don, they’ve put up with a lot already, and they’re not picking on Leo they’re trying to help (mostly. They’re definitely also mad but can we blame them?). Personally I’d take it easy on Mikey too, he reacted in a flawed way to a sucky situation. I think when people bring this up it’s mainly because they see that Mikey Is emotionally attuned and looks out for his brothers, but most of the time he does that through humor, which leads to him being treated as comic relief, in the show and sometimes in fandom as well. So I can see why Mikey lovers would want to use an example that doesn’t lead to a Comedic Moment, even if it isn’t necessarily the best one.

[l4deeznuts]

before i start i wanna say this is NOT a zellis or nickro hate post!!! i think both ships are cute but in my l4d world it's hard to pair them for a couple reasons

when it comes to nick being with ro, or any woman that is, it's hard to see it because he's a misogynistic asshole. he does get better throughout the game and id imagine as time went on in the apocalypse, whether they were officially rescued or got stranded again, the shitty parts of his personality would get better

BUT

it is also his personality. we don't know why he is the dirtbag he is.. could be literally anything. shitty parents/raised badly, trauma, hanging with the wrong crowd, etc

now don't get me wrong, nick isn't solely a douchebag. he obviously has positive, redeeming qualities about himself and he truly does care about the other three survivors. as we all know, humans are not one dimensional, so it's entirely possible for him to do a 180

but when you're in your mid 30s, probably been living rough one way or another your whole life, it would be really fucking hard to break out of those negative attributes

rochelle is too good for that. she does not deserve any kind of mistreatment. i will not argue

THIS ALSO GOES FOR NELLIS TOO THOUGH! any pairing with nick would be toxic one way or another honestly

i just feel like.. it would be different with ellis because he is such a ball of sunshine. you throw anything at him, and it bounces right off. he's so oblivious and in his own world, so sweet and caring-- a genuinely good person. i feel like he would be able to balance nick out and chill out his jerk attitude a bit

ellis is not really confrontational and overall does not have a mean bone in his body. hell, in game when nick said he hated him, he responded with "well, i still like you, nick." and because of this, i feel like he would truly be the first person in nick's entire 35 years of life that showed him genuine love, respect, patience, understanding, etc, which in turn would tug on nick's shriveled heartstrings

this doesn't mean that rochelle isn't sweet and wouldn't have the power to change nick for the better. but even tho she is also a genuinely good person, she doesn't take shit from anyone, especially not nick. many times in the game she steps up to him and puts him in his place. i feel like she could love him platonically/in a family type way, but romantically i don't think she could do it. i think it would just exhaust her and quite frankly piss her the fuck off

now when it comes to zoey and ellis, it would work... for a bit. ellis would most definitely treat zoey like a queen and they would have a healthy, loving relationship. however, zoey's personality is kind of going towards the opposite spectrum of ellis'*. she's a little on the brooding side, slightly awkward, and a little quicker than most to get ticked off. of course she has a sense of humor, is sweet, and does care about others. her and i are actually very much alike, and truthfully i don't think i could date a guy like ellis. even though he's damn near perfect for a man, he has a lot of chaotic energy. when you're someone with a lower energy-type personality*, it gets tiring after a while being around high energy people

zoey would more than likely be a homebody, wanting to watch tv and movies, play video games, etc, whereas ellis is your typical country boy-- fishing, hunting, working on cars, riding horses, drinking, doing dangerous and dumb shit with his boys, etc. i feel like after a while zoey would realize she just can't keep up with him, maybe even after a while he would start to even get on her nerves. i also feel like after a while he would think she was boring.. but in reality, they just don't really have much in common when it comes to their lifestyles

*i know you could kinda consider nick being closer to a lower-energy type personality because when he's not being an ass, he is rather quiet and to himself. BUT theres no such thing as a lazy introverted conman lol

*i also feel like it's easier to tolerate the same sex as you. a man annoying another man, or a woman annoying another woman is one thing, but a man annoying a woman is a whole other story lmfao

[kart0]

Venting about me being stupid tw ed and suicide thoughts

...hey

I feel like I should start this by saying I've been actually pretty well lately ! I am drawing again, I lost weight which was something I really wanted, I think I made new friends, and I've been growing a lot on social media - I love the attention btw

So what do I have to complain now ? Dani doesn't this get tiring ? Uhhh yes but it's my blog so FUCK YOU

Anyways, it's exam season and there's a lot of things to do. And I have to mention I am illiterate I do not read nor am good at writing. I guess it has to do with my anxiety, I have a lot of thoughts. A LOT. That keep playing 24/7, so it's kinda hard to write something coherent.

So, I have this class, ceramic class, and I am terrible at it. Like. Super bad. Everything I do looks so bad it's literally disgusting to look at. Ok so we had this essay to do and I did, proudly, and I finish it on time which made me so happy. And I thought I did pretty well in fact !

Hm. Thought. We got our grade today and I got such a bad grade. Like. Not even half of the grade. And now I can't stop crying and feeling so stupid specially because ! Basically everyone in my class uses Chatgpt and gets away with it. And I swore, on my life, that I would never, NEVER, use AI to do my work. To do nothing, really. I have an ego the size of the universe, and I am extremely proud. It's my dignity on risk. What would my parents think of me ? What would I think of myself ???? I would never do that. Instead I keep writing everything on my own, with references of course. I used to think I'd rather get a low grade instead of using chat fucking gpt.

Well, now that I actually got a low grade I am really really upset, and regretful. Why did I have to be so proud and stupidly arrogant with my abilities. I know I FUCKING KNOW I can't write for shit. I keep thinking about how I should've used AI.

And I feel so shitty I skipped dinner tonight. Because I feel like I should starve and die. I do not deserve food. All I have to feel right now is fucking pain, and be miserable. Because I am failing this class. And I know, rationally speaking, this is super dumb. It's just a class and it's just one essay y'know. And I need to eat. Cuz honestly I'm pretty hungry.

But I keep thinking about what I did, and how I could've done so much better. I feel like such a fool.

Such a fucking fool.

And now my thoughts are spiraling, how I should either dropout of college (again btw) or kill myself ! Damn bro. Chill for a second.

And I have been eating less. Too less in fact. That's how I've been able to lose weight. So eating even less each time feels like a sickly accomplishment somehow. And I keep weighing myself everyday, morning and night. Sometimes 10 times a day. And all I want is for the number to get lower. It's so sick I should stop but I don't know how. And I feel so embarrassed and ashamed, I haven't told anyone about this.

I need to lose more weight, I NEED to lose more weight. Keeps on replay, and I work even harder to not eat. It's a game of being unworthy of basic human needs. I am starving myself to death. I know that.

And now I am punishing myself by not eating anything at all because of a fucking essay. Why do I keep doing this. What am I even trying to achieve with this. I keep feeling sick and nauseated and it's so bad and I keep taking pills for headaches and I just feel so... stupid

But I need to see me getting skinnier. I feel proud. And there was a time when this happened before too, when I was 18-19. I was so skinny back then and I did not eat.

And now it's happening again and I can't remember how I stopped the first time.

I don't want to feel sick all the time. I don't want to keep looking at the scale. I don't want to think I have to deserve food.

I don't want to die.

But I want this to be over. So much. And I know it's not the end of the fucking world but why, why does it feel like this all the time. Why can't I be normal, and have normal thoughts, and behave normally, and just be fucking ok for once.

I was doing so well... How did I end up like this again.

When will this ever stop ?

[chaotictarlos]

Do you honestly believe this fight is ever gonna be brought up again? They've already wrapped the story up and they're moving on to TK and Owen. Look if you don't want to discuss it just ignore me, but I'm incredibly disappointed in the show and in how TK has been treated and I'm surprised that literally no one else is. I'm probably not gonna watch anymore. I love TK and I'm tired of watching him be the Tarlos punching bag. I didn't in any way mean to imply that just because you aren't it makes you a "bad fan". I'm also tired of watching Carlos be treated as perfect (again, narratively) when we all know he's not. But it's incredibly hard to appreciate his flaws when the show won't acknowledge them. I have a hard time being invested in a ship that is so majorly biased in one party's favor. Idk I'm just sad that one of my favorite ships is turning out this way.

The last 4 episodes, narratively, have been about showing that Carlos is not perfect. It's been about showing that he trips up, that he lies, that he doesn't handle his emotions the best way all the time. It's been about showing his insecurities and showing how much growth TK has gone through as well . It has shown us a lot, rather than telling us point blank.

TK didn't run, when he found out Carlos' secret - season 1 TK would have, hell even season 2 TK would have. Instead, he stayed and talked and expressed that he was upset but despite that he still wanted to marry Carlos because he loves his.I think it was this post that triggered them because he loves him.

We saw Carlos scared, short tempered and lashing out at TK even though he shouldn't have. He shouldn't have blamed Iris going missing on TK or ever implied that, that wasn't right and he should apologize for that.

He shouldn't have lied to TK about staying with Iris and instead going off to play detective because he believed her. He could have told TK that, could have let him know. But he didn't and that was shitty.

I don't see how you can keep saying the show is painting Carlos as perfect because it's not, it's literally given us a list of various reasons as to why he's not.

TK blamed himself because that's what he does. I fully believe he has anxiety and that's something - at least it's something I do as an anxious person. TK didn't have all of the information, he based it on their last interaction and he assumed Carlos was mad at him but at the same time he knew that wasn't right. His anxious thoughts were fighting with logic, and in the end logic won out.

Do I think this will be brought up again? I'm choosing to be optimistic and say yes, that it will eventually be brought up again in some way. Do I think it'll be in the way we all want? No, I don't think it will be.

Here's a great thing I learned a very long time ago when I shipped things that were not canon: you can't always base how you feel on a ship based on the writers and the show. Once that ship is out there, many people get their hands on it and create beautiful masterpieces without it even being canon. (This is the first show I've watched where the ship I like is canon). You take the ship, you take what you get out of it and you make it your own.

I also think it's false to say that literally nobody else is disappointed in how TKs been treated, because I've talked to several people who don't like it. Myself included. Maybe people haven't been as public with it as they have on their thoughts about other story lines going on right now, but I can tell you I've at least talked about it with others privately.

I also don't think the show has made TK Tarlos punching bag, I think a few fan opinions have and there are fans who like to blame TK for everything - which he shouldn't be. I think there are valid reasons for everything that he's done and when looked at with context makes sense.

It's okay to be sad, it's okay to be upset. Don't let a show ruin what you love. That's why we have fan creators and people who invest their free time in creating beautiful things.

[thesevenofbirds]

You know... Here's the thing about the ethersea storytelling (spoilers).

TL;DR i like the good, flawed characters because i do think it makes for interesting storytelling. But Griffin keeps trying to add interesting nuance to challenge the characters' hard-headed good/evil mindsets, and it gets overlooked because the players are in-character too often.

So. I do think the characters are very interesting and good even though they're all, imo, dislike-able in many ways...

Amber is unabashedly hard-headed and unforgiving. She cares about people yeah, but she's so opinionated and refuses to hear people out. She's so conflict-averse that she's constantly walking away from things and refusing to hear other people's perspectives. I feel like the interactions with Shrett were a great example of this. Like, i understand that Amber had known someone who went off the deep end with drugs, but the whole ordeal was so no-nuance for her in a way that showed she's really just stubborn about her perspective and never changing her mind. Likewise i think this shows with the blink sharks when she's just happy to be rid of 3 more.

Then we have Devo. He's just as hard-headed as Amber but instead of being avoidant and running away, he fights and causes conflict in the hopes of everything landing on what he wants. (Side note this felt so real to me when he said, going up the tower, "i feel no better with you guys than when i was with the church." I know the feeling of wanting so badly to act differently with people but falling into old habits beyond your control and acting in ways you don't want to act. Irl, one solution is literally to just remove yourself from the situation like Devo is trying but unable to do.. cuz it's DnD and they can't just split.) But anyway so, he cares, but he acts really shitty and mean and manipulative towards people around him in a lot of scenarios, as his instinctual reaction.

Then, Zoox. I don't see people talking about him as much but imo he's part of the conflict. He's an airhead in a way i can also relate to a bit... But that causes problems. Rather than spending the time to find solutions he defaults to threats & "easy ways out." He doesn't threaten in an angry way - rather, in a way that feels like "this is easier than trying to talk through shit and come up with collaborative solutions :) I'm tired" lol. But this really comes to a head for me with the blink sharks. Why doesn't he tell anyone the things he heard from them? Why doesn't he ever even shout during the fight anything, like, "wait maybe we can figure out what's going on, i had a conversation with these guys!" or anything like that? Seemingly because he's spacey, he allows a race of intelligent beings that asked him for help- to be extincted by himself and his friends.

All of these character choices are interesting! And i think the interactions/fights between the PCs are a cool way of exploring their personalities and stories. I'm not ragging on the Mcelroys for making flawed PCs, because i literally think these are character choices, and the characters they've made are really complex and interesting.

My only frustration is... Griffin keeps introducing interesting nuance! Like Shrett, and Guidance, and the Alpha Shark, and even Toliver. These characters are ALSO fleshed out & flawed in interesting ways, but they offer counterpoints to the PCs. BUT! The players always feel so in character that the points of nuance seldom get satisfyingly addressed.

I'm reminded of Clint's "knowing chuckle" where he had to be pressed to say what he was thinking. I'm listening to a DnD podcast! I'm interested in the thoughts & theories of the people playing the game! I'm interested by candid moments where maybe the player would go "oh damn, i think/feel this way about this plot point, but i know my character wouldn't do this." Or "ooh i know more of this story than my character does and <commentary>" or whatever. I love the roleplay and it's very interesting... But i also get a bit frustrated by the dropped threads that seem to be dropped only because Griffin was the only one trying to add that interesting nuance.

Once again i do still think it's a great series. But i feel like this character seriousness leaves something to be desired.

[snoring-dragon-productions]

shit’s bad. it’s really bad. i’m so goddamn exhausted from EVERYONE’S ( family ) bullshit and being the ONly Fucking Person who seems like they’re capable or trying to keep it together. to the point where maybe I’m the one with unrealistic expectations. Maybe I’m being too emotionally-detached ( i say, while literally being unable to stop crying dfjfngdfjk ) when I’m pointing out everyone’s sides and the good/bad shit they are doing and trying to stop it all from spiraling into the usual bullshit of raised voices and yelling and shutting down— I try to mediate but it doesn’t do anything. I’m apparently not saying any shit that’s worth saying. Maybe I’m too logical about this shit, or try to be. Maybe I’m the weird one. It sure feels that way right now djskgndfgdf

I just- dont know why we cant say shit without it turning into all of This. Why people can’t stop letting things snowball Every Single Time. I get it. Emotions and other factors are at play. Tension is high. Things are shitty and everyone KNOWS they are and they feel it and they want to change it ( i have to believe they want to change it ) but it always ends like this. And I feel like SHIT because I know the best thing would be to smile and chill and act like it’s okay because everything should have blown over and i can tell that’s what some people are trying to do but I JUST WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE. I just want to be alone where it’s quiet and just me and I dont want to smile I don’t want to have a Good Time right now I don’t want to be happy but they need me to be and I should but I don’t WANT TO BE. 

And it’s selfish of me to cling to these feelings but i just want to be allowed to feel them for a moment and feel them on my terms and have a day where i can just be with ME and just fuck I needed a day and i haven’t gotten it in a while and i just want one. but i don’t want to cause anymore hurt than is already happening and i know it’ll get misconstrued but i just want to try and detox and i can’t if i’m stuck surrounded by all this forced normalcy 

sorry, i just needed to type things out and let it flow unhindered because im just- i dont even know. everyone is right and wrong and i can’t fix it if they don’t do anything to help but i’m soaking in ALL of the shit like a sponge and i can’t even wring myself out without potentially making it worse and i’m tired. I’m so Tired. I don’t even want to post this honestly because it’s such a rambling string of internal shit but i’ll allow myself This much and then see where it goes from there.

[divinesouldariax]

"I'm tired of thinking, let's just make out or something" with Ashton/Milo bc I know we're both dying to get them to kiss

Send me prompts?

Thank u my friend, u know EXACTLY what i want :D Even if this fic kinda drove me nuts bc i am simply not very practiced with writing kisses. Also the prompt list was hurt/comfort and this turned out to be literally Just Fluff lmao. I promise to make up for that by being extra angsty in the other prompt u sent me. I hope u enjoy it! <3

Word count: 1,111

Content warnings: brief mentions of injuries/brain trauma and memory issues and struggling with school, brief discussion about boundaries and touch-averseness, kissing

*

It was a point of pride to Milo that when Ashton had decided to start taking classes again after the accident had forced them to stop a few years ago, they were the only person he would go to for help on their schoolwork. Ashton knew he would never have to explain or justify their memory problems or difficulty grasping new concepts to Milo, and Milo knew never to press Ashton when he said that he was done working. 

Milo wasn't the greatest teacher in the world, which they reminded Ashton of often, and Ashton always responded with something along the lines of "And I'm not the greatest fucking student, so it's a perfect arrangement." It seemed to work, anyway. Ashton was passing their classes, and Milo was honestly just happy to be spending time with him.

Today, they were sitting on the couch together talking about how to approach making a notes page for Ashton to use on tests reminding him which calculator functions to use for which stats problems. Ashton seemed distracted. They weren't closing their eyes or touching his temples like he did when a migraine was coming on, though, so Milo didn't ask if they wanted to stop.

After a little while, Ashton cleared his throat. "I'm tired of thinking," he announced abruptly. "Let's just make out or something."

Milo stared. Blinked a few times. Wondered if there was any possible way they had heard Ashton correctly. "...are you aware that you just said that out loud?" they asked genuinely.

Ashton was looking off into the distance over Milo's shoulder. "Mm-hmm. Fuck, I'm gonna fucking kill Anni if she was lying."

If she--ohhh, not if I kill her first. "Did Anni fucking tell you I was--" Milo could already feel their face heating up.

"Might have said something."

Milo groaned and dropped their calculator and notebook and pencil off the side of the couch to bury their face in their hands.

"We don't have to--I made this really weird, huh? Fuck. We can--rewind, say I had a little fuckin' brain moment and just move on with our lives," Ashton babbled. "I didn't really mean to say it like that, that was fucking out of nowhere. I hate--fucking talking. God damn it."

"No, it's fine!" Milo wasn't sure if it was actually fine, but they knew they didn't want Ashton to feel shitty about it. "I'm a little confused?! I think? Was that a...do you want to...or did Anni just tell you that I…"

"Actually what she told me was that if I didn't do something to show you how I feel sometime in the next week, she was gonna plug in her amp in the hallway by my door and play me an electric violin solo at five in the morning every day for a month because she's apparently tired of living in a house where everyone's pining," Ashton recounted. "Pretty much word for word. I actually remember the phrasing, it was that vivid."

Startled, Milo laughed. They would get back to the "show you how I feel" thing in a minute, but they needed to process how ridiculous this was first. "So you decided to suggest making out with absolutely no warning?!"

"I swear to fucking god, that was at least partially impulsive brain fuckery," Ashton said, half laughing and half defensively.

"I believe you. Holy shit," Milo exclaimed. "That's one way to do it. God. Okay. First of all, and we'll be circling back to feelings, don't worry, but Ashton, I have never heard you say that you want to make out with anyone. You hate being touched."

"That's not...necessarily true?"

Milo raised their eyebrows. "Ash, you once hissed at me when I tried to rub your back when you got sick after drinking too much on a new med."

"I don't remember that," Ashton admitted. "But--no, I mean, yeah, it tracks. I definitely hate being touched when I feel fucking awful. And by people I don't know. But not all the time by everybody."

"That's--how have I lived with you for three years without knowing that?" Milo said, bewildered. "I really thought you just hated being touched in general this whole time."

"To be fair, I never corrected you."

"Yeah! But I never asked. Anyway, I'm getting distracted." Milo knew that their cheeks were probably flushed quite a dark pink by now. "I gotta get something clear. You like me?" Fuckety fuck, they sounded like a fucking middle schooler. 

"Yeah, I didn't actually think I was being subtle about it? Anni sure seemed to think it was stupid that we hadn't figured it out yet."

"Am I just an entire dumbass then?" Milo couldn't help but laugh. Their heart was beating so quickly, but the absurdity of it all was keeping them from turning into a total flustered mess. It was a little bit perfect.

Ashton shrugged, a little too casually. “If you are, then I am. So, uh, Anni wasn’t lying, then? You’re into me, too?”

“Oh, I was, uh, not prepared for this conversation at three in the afternoon completely sober without a head’s up,” Milo stated. 

“You good? Like I said, we can forget this–”

“Absolutely fucking not.” Milo wanted to just surge forward and kiss him, but several years of friendship where their habit had been to avoid touching Ashton whenever possible so they didn’t make him uncomfortable was hard to overcome. “Yes. Yes, I’m…yes. This is ridiculous. Do you actually want to make out?”

“I mean, I definitely don’t want to be doing stats anymore,” Ashton said with a wry little grin.

“...was that a yes–”

“Yes, oh my god.”

“I feel like it’s something to be very, very sure of before starting!” Milo defended themself, feeling like Ashton was teasing them at least a little bit. “I don’t want to hurt you accidentally.”

“Which is why I’m very sure that it’s gonna be fine.” Ashton put out their hand. “C’mon, apparently we’ve been wasting time.”

God, it was that kind of confidence, even with the initial uncertainty, that made Milo find Ashton so incredibly attractive. They let Ashton take their hand and pull them close, almost into his lap. Before they could even really conceive of the fact that oh, fuck, Ashton really is letting me touch him, they were kissing. Ashton’s initial comment about not wanting to be thinking anymore was onto something, because every rational thought in Milo’s head began vanishing.

We’re definitely gonna have to have a conversation about this later, Milo thought faintly, but for now, they would just focus on Ashton’s hands against their waist and his lips on theirs.

Send me prompts?

[foxymoxynoona]

miss foxy,

i don’t know if the publishing industry is just filled with no one but shitty writers OR youve ruined romance novels for me.

ive read about 30 of them so far since i found you and you know how many of those that i actually have 5 starred on StoryGraph?

five. FIVE BOOKS.

four starred? TWO books.

and you know what runs through my head every time a book disappoints me?

“i can’t believe i paid MONEY for this garbage. how come miss foxy with god-tier writing writes for free?”

like this is such bullshit/;@&”$ i am SOO MAD

thing is im not even like picky with plots and storylines and stuff, so if anything im actually pretty easy to please in terms of ~originality~. you could recycle the same tired storyline or trope or whatever and id still give it a read, no problemo. as long as the characters get proper character development, im good. trust me. im an EASY reader.

no. you know what usually BOTHERS me about these ~published~ writers that forces me to give their books less than 3 stars?

THE FACT THAT THEY CANT EVEN WRITE DECENT DIALOGUE.

DECENT. DIALOGUE. THAT. SOUNDS. NATURAL. AND. REALISTIC.

LORD GIVE ME STRENGTH AND PATIENCE BECAUSE I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD IF I READ ONE MORE FUCKING BOOK WITH SHITTY DIALOGUE IM GOING TO SCREAM THE WHOLE BUILDING DOWN.

like it’s just a pandemonium going on in my system whenever i read shitty dialogue because it makes me want to crawl out of my skin. that’s how SHITTY it is. one or two lines i can let slide (im not that much of a bitch… probably) but a WHOLE DAMN BOOK? REALLY?!

mind you, these books are mostly four starred 🤢🤢🤢 some even FIVE starred and im just like ARE WE EVEN READING THE SAME BOOK?!

this is why i don’t play when i tell you your writing is a GODSEND. i MEAN that shit. every sentence literally has me 😮😮 like, you actually KNOW what to do with words. now THATS a writer.

sorry. rants over.

PS: now that i think about it, my rant could be read as me putting you on a pedestal and i understand that could put you off because you think i have high expectations from you but trust me. you could NEVER disappoint me. EVER.

I'm very very very flattered by a message like this. I have been secretly poking a little at what it would take to publish things for real, because if I could just write all the time instead of 40+ hours a week at my current day job, it would be so heavenly. I could publish real books to subsidize my fanfic writing🤣🤣

Sometimes I'll read published books and be like hey, I could write that! But then I'll read other ones and be completely intimidated by how amazing they are, and it's also so hard to be objective about my own work so I'm just always like... no way could I pull that off. I do love words though. To my writing is like baking braided bread or something, all the massaging and careful selection, and I just really enjoy it. That's why I've always been writing, even when it brings me no fame nor fortune haha, I just have to do it.

I don't know, maybe someday. Supportive comments like this puff me up with the belief I could do it! Anyone know a good agent or publisher (like if you read a book and it kinda reminds you of something I write) lemme know! 😂

And thank you for such a sweet praising note, I will save it forever for when I'm feeling down about a chapter 🥰