#so some of my classes i dont even know what we're doing for exams

[oflgtfol]

quastion. if you were a high schooler looking to take the least stressful lab science would you taking physics or chemistry

i think this is a simpler question of which do you enjoy more? for me i would choose physics over chemistry any day but that’s because i hate chemistry and so all chem labs i took were boring and stressful, and i love physics so the labs were fun and interesting

however if both subjects are equally uninteresting to you, then i do recommend physics! maybe i'm biased, but i think even personal interest aside, my high school chem labs were definitely more involved and complicated than my high school physics labs. physics experiments in lower level classes such as high school (and even introductory college physics to some extent) are pretty simple to set up and conduct, the main understanding comes from doing the math afterwards to get any sort of result out of it, whereas chem was more like, actually mixing stuff and then observing

not only were physics labs easier, simpler, and more engaging, but each lab also was unique and distinct from each other. i really can only recall the same basic setup of like, mixing stuff together as the idea behind every single chem lab i did. the exact way you mixed them together differed of course but that was the main idea

meanwhile some examples of physics labs i recall from high school include:

projectile motion: most likely you will roll a marble down a ramp off the edge of the lab table, measure the horizontal and vertical distances it traveled, maybe time it also or use a photogate to measure the velocity, or something, and then use the kinematic equations to find any missing variables, and then through all that you will probably be to told to find the value of g, what is known as the acceleration due to gravity, aka the rate at which things fall.

circular motion: you may be using a FLYING PIG to demonstrate circular motion!!! figuring out the tension in the string, the idea of centripetal force, centripetal acceleration, rates of revolution, etc.

harmonic motion: push some slinkies around, demonstrate hooke's law and spring force, calculation of frequency and oscillation, maybe observing resonant frequencies and resonant modes

standing waves: using some sort of low tech version of a standing wave generator to observe, well, standing waves. the high school version of this lab i believe was very surface level and was mostly just drawing how different standing waves looked, counting the nodes and antinodes, and predicting it for different frequencies. i think the teacher even got us a giant rope and we had to recreate the lower frequency standing waves together as a class by just oscillating it ourselves

all around, in my experience at least, high school physics labs are so much more involved and engaging than chem ever was. and while the math involved in the physics class was more daunting than chem, it was such a fun and interactive class. and again i may be biased but i think, if both chem and physics are uninteresting to you but you need to choose one anyway, i think having a basic background in physics is a lot more useful and goes a lot further than a basic background in chem does. i truly believe that knowing stuff about the kinematic equations, circular motion, free body diagrams, harmonic motion, etc etc will enrich your life further and change the way you see the world around you. high school physics will not make you an expert but it can certainly make observing patterns in life and how the natural world operates a lot more fun and exciting

[machiten]

thats my seat!

academic rival scaramouche x gn!reader headcanons

warnings: scaramouche(bro is a whole warning), foul language(it's scaramouche we're talking about here so), reader is mentioned to have bad eyesight, fights, angst, academic validation, bad parenting

barely proofread lmao im tired, it's 3:15 am and im starving. there will be a chapter 2 ofc i just wanted to post something goddamn my blog has been empty for so long (4 days) didn't have a way to keep track of the word count but it's kinda long. anyways hope u enjoy!!

oh god

when i say rival, i mean full on brawls on the school hallway

so let's say you've been top of your school since day one. your name has always been at the top of the score board every exam, always class representative, and well known as a smart kid ever since you steped on school premises.

you work hard to keep your grades up, your parents pay enough attention to your succesful brother and none for you

having a successful brother plants high expectations on you. i mean, he did very well, so why cant you? you both have the same blood running through your veins. your parent's praise, that is all you've ever wanted. and yet you're not even informed if there's a family outing, leaving you in your house alone

it has been like that for years

not until one day, you enter into the classroom and someone else is sitting in your chair. someone unfamiliar is sitting on your chair.

"hey, excuse me. i sit there." you pointed at what is supposed to be, your chair. "what, i dont see any names on it." Ok, what. when you finally look up to the culprit, my goodness. Fierce purple eyes that looks like it holds the entire universe, his skin as fair as a maiden, lips plum as a springs fruit, a beauty mark at the underside of his right eye, and his hair a unique color of indigo that is cut in a weird jellyfish-ish hairstyle. while yes, he looks ethereal, not gonna lie (if he had longer hair you might've mistaken him as a girl) his personality certainly does not match his elegance. an annoyed look currently adorned his face, as if you disturbed his peace.

"done checking me out? i know im hot, i get that look everyday so dont ever think you're special." and now it changed into a cocky smirk. the nerve! not only is he sitting on someone else's chair but it seems like his head is getting bigger too. "well excuse me, i havent seen your around school until today so im guessing that you're the transfer student our teacher talked about last week. but do you mind finding a new spot, i sit there." you glared at him.

"no i like it here. here's a better idea, why don't you find a new spot. im the new student here, show some courtesy."

"no- what, go away thats my seat!"

"alright everyone, settle down- oh, i see that the new student is here already," the teacher finally came in the classroom, cup of steaming hot coffee in his hand. Everyone sat down on their seats while you are still standing up waiting for this person to look for another seat. Lmao guess what, he didnt move.

"(name), c'mon sit down. i know getting a new friend is exiting but we have to greet the new student properly. now go find your seat."

"wait but sir--"

"sit down, (name)"

"yeah that's right (name), sit down" a voice beside you spoke. you looked over to the new student adorning a triumphant grin at your loss. and so you are now forced to sit at the back, barely seeing what's in front because of your poor eyesight, and wearing a vengeful spirit.

epic first meeting

the seats in the back are okay, its breezy and you now sit next to xiao (his music taste is so good) but yeah, you cant really see the board clearly so you get notes from mona at the front

at first, it was a one sided rivalry. how hated how rude and bratty he was and at that time, he didnt seem too care (like he get those everyday). but then he started fighting back and oh boy he hasn't had this much fun in years!

the way you retort back to his harsh words is so amusing to him. usually, no one would dare talk to him in a degrading manner but then you came into his life, claiming that he's sitting on your chair, and it was never the same ever again.

now, he looks forward to everyday. he rises up earlier so that he can sit at your chair first, he keeps looking at the classroom door everytime someone enters (in case it's you so that he can give that shit eating grin), he loves how your face gets messed up when he wins an argument, he loves how small your hands are compared to his when you have a brawl in the hallways, and most of all, he loves it when you give him the shit eating grin when you win something (he says he let's you win sometimes because he pitied you, but is it really?)

to him, this is fun, amusing, entertaining. but to you? you've never felt this much hate in a human being, ever.

scaramouche is smart as fuck and he demonstrated that loud and clear

he aced the math test that the teacher gave that wasn't even taught to him

in presentations, he speaks loud and clear and you can really understand the point he's making

he doesn't really like group works (you noticed) but if he was put in a group, he does most of the job flawlessly

sports? oh of course. he's really good at baseball (pitcher). he's also good at other sports but not as good as baseball

oh and pray that you don't get him as your opponent in debates, you will be grilled like a brisket

did i mention he sleeps in like 70% of his classes? it's not like the teachers can do anything about it. he excels in everything, at least let him sleep as a gift

the only times he would be awake is when he pulls on your strings

but of course, you're also good in all of these, that's why you both are rivals

you fight almost everyday for the top spot (and for your original seat) to the point where its a daily routine to everyone else to see you both pinching and arguing in the classroom

He doesn't have any close friends (ahem childeahem) and it's either bc ppl are intimidated by him or he just doesnt give a fuck about friends

maintaining grades is one thing, winning against him is another

you are very intellegent, yes, but you work very hard for your grades every night. losing sleep studying for upcoming quizes and making sure your projects are perfect. unlike him who doesnt even try

you havent seen him study once

and it makes you see yourself lower. you're both equally in par with your grades but thats when he doesn't even try. what happens when he takes everything seriously? what if he studies as hard as you do? where will you stand then?

but when you got 2nd place for the 3rd time this year, he took it too far

"what the hell?! this is the third time!" you looked at the results in the bulletin board expecting to see your name in first place. you studied hard, right? so then why,,,

"oh oops, looks like i did a little too well again this time. aw and i didn't even answer some of the questions because i felt bad for beating you the last two times." a snicker is heard behind you and sure enough, piercing indigo eyes is looking at yours in pure pity. "thanks i guess. are you happy now? that's three times in a row!" aether beside you is now having a deadpan expression, expecting the worst. 'alright here we go again'.

"oh yes very, you know what makes me even happier? your declaration that you're inferior to me. why do you even try anyways, it's clear to everyone that im better. you're just wasting your time burying your head in your books and notes when we both already know who's coming at the top. imagine not meeting your parent's expectations." he's now looking down on you, beating you up with words that you know damn well are true. but that doesn't mean you're not gonna fight back.

"what."

"oh you know, maybe if you tried harder, the cost of your education might be worth it for your parents. honestly, if i we're them id--"

before he could finish his sentence, a loud echoing smack is heard all across the hallway, making everyone's attention turn to the commotion. scaramouche head is now turned the other way, his cheeks beginning to flare from the hit as he glared at the culprit, you. "you motherfucking bitc-!" you tackled him and due to surprise, he fell back. aether is now alert, shouting your name trying to get you to your senses.

you gripped scramouche's collar, rasing his head from the floor and slamming it back down. "you're an asshole, you know that?! i try my best everyday and this is what i get?!!" he fights back, hand on your arm that's trying to get a hold of his hair and another on your neck, holding back your weight.

"you don't know what it's like!! you will never know what it's like being compared to your brother everytime they get a chance!! you dont know what it's like going home to nothing but words of disappointment when you did everything you can to get their approval!! you will never know what it's like for your efforts to go to waste!! you will never know the feeling of being kicked out of your own home and live in a run down apartment!! i work day and night, i lose sleep everyday, i barely have anything for myself to live, and now i have to deal with your ass every single day too?!!"

"(name)! calm down, hey-!"

"fuck off aether!"

every word you spat pricked scaramouche's heart and made him struggle from your assaults. this isn't fun anymore. he knew a bit of your situation, kazuha told him. but he never knew it was this bad. all he knew is about your parent's expectations. he didn't even attempt to fight back this time and just defends himself from your blows. 'shit, i took it too far.'

"you dont have to remind me of my incompetence! i already know, i know damn well i will never be enough!! you're right, why do i even try, right?! you're so fucking annoying, doing everything so effortlessly, like school is a nuisance!! can't i take a fucking break?!!" at this point, you cannot control your tears from falling into his cheeks, rolling down his porcelain skin.

"what are you--?!"

"why can't i be a genius like you?! why dont i have everything that you have?!! i did everything i can, what am i doing wrong?!" you are now saying intangible words that no one can decipher because of the mess of emotions you are feeling at that moment. you're about to deliver another blow when someone held you back.

"(name)! you're doing too much! thats enough!!" goddamn she is stronger than i thought, scaramouche deals with this everyday?? aether pulled you away from the tangled mess that you and scaramouche managed to create. you're struggling his hold but after a bit, you slumped down having no more strength to keep going, sobbing quietly. "...(name)?" aether said.

"...i am so tired of everything, why do i even keep trying. i.. i just want to make my parents proud..." sniffles could be heard from where you are being held my aether's arms. aether supported you from the groud and led you away from the scene and the prying eyes of other students. before you both can disappear completely, aether turned around and gave scaramouche a threatening glare. "i know you both bicker a lot but you took it too far. you are an asshole and you better change that attitude of yours or i will send you home even worse than your condition right now." and you both are gone.

scaramouche is still sitting on the floor, his arm supporting his weight, bruises are forming in his skin while he's craddling his cheek that is now very noticeably red and flaring from the slap you served him earlier. he doesn't know how to act, really. should he apologize? should he just walk away and like nothing happened? should he report you for physical abuse? he didn't know anything.

what he does know though is that he fucked up, big time. he knows that you'll never want to see his face ever again, he knows that nothing will be the same again, and he knows thag the feelings he has will never be reciprocated, after what he's done.

he actually just found out recently, when someone from the other class was making fun of you and he didn't like it one bit, he's the only one allowed to make fun of you, everyone back off. scaramouche can see the crowd dissipating, no longer interested since the main action is gone. he sat there on the floor the whole time, rethinking his life choices, wondering if he said things differently instead of those. would he be seeing you tomorrow? will you still argue with him about nonsensical bullshit? can he still hold your hand whenever you pinch him?

he heard footsteps and before he can look up, someone had smacked him in the head.

"what the fuck-!!"

"i want to say 'are you okay', but to be honest you kinda deserved that." a mop of ginger can bee seen hanging from someone's head.

"fuck off childe, and why did you smack me?!"

"because you deserve it. but y'know, it's nice having front row seats seeing you ruin your life because of that toungue of yours. aether's right you're an ass." he helped scaramouche from the floor, dusting his uniform from the filth. "ill take you to the infirmary." scaramouche can only nod, feeling lethargic after all that energy spent.

he hopes to see you the next day, acting like nothing ever happened.

part 2

[solluve]

luxiem school drabbles!!

I was vv busy due to exams and test huhuu, I still have a upcoming final exam

noctyx ver coming out soon !!!

modern school au but you lowkey have a rivalry in most of them!!!I HATE SCHOOL

warning; kissing/ mentions (belehg) long passage be warned, lowkey bad ass writing lmfao IM EMBARSSED

not proofread (yet) ────────────────────────

vox

You were terribly annoyed, you had every right to be! Once again, the embodiment of the devil had beaten you again for test scores, and he was shoving it right in your face.

"Really? A 85% y/n? Cmon, I seriously thought you could do better." His voice boomed in the hallways, you didn't even know why he had decided to follow you outside the classroom. Whatever goes on in the classroom, is suppose to stay. You had just hoped that the sea of people who block his view of you.

How did he even manage to get a higher grade than you? From what you knew, he'd simply just lean on his chair during class and break the dress code with those hideous flip flops. He wasn't even a teachers favorite! In fact, all teachers hated him, but all students had loved him. He wasn't super athletic, but he was decent at almost any sport the school threw at him. He just probably did it all for the girls and boys to fawn over. Who knows, maybe even a student had given him am extra study lesson in exhange for quality time or sports advice.

His tall stature gave him the advantage in the hallways however, despite your constant twist and turns around students and diffrent hallways, his pursuit continued until you reached your locker.

A loud slam erupted from the impact of hand to metal, and your head had shot to your side. One hand on the locker supported his figure, and he stared at you menacingly with a smirk ingraved into his features. Oh how you'd pay to rip it right off.

"Are you done following me, stalker? You won, whatever." You sighed and started to fumble with the combination code to your locker. You didn't understand why you were even nervous, you had no fear for this man at all, you just wanted him gone.

"Stalker? how hurtful y/n! But Besides, I'm not done celebrating. Don't you think I deserve something for my first ever win?" He boasted, you could still see the crumbled up paper that represented his test score smashed agasint the locker.

"I have nothing to give besides my congratulations. Now shoo." You peered stadight into his crimson hues, he was clearly amused by your defensive behavior.

"Well, I guess I should just claim my victory reward then. Every treasure needs hard work anyways" he sighed, and quickly cupped your face with his hands, smashing his lips onto yours.

Your eyes had sprawled in shock, not once during it did your body relax, but you didn't complain either.

He pulled away playfully, a crescent smile was painted onto him, it looked so much better than that menacing smirk.

"I dont remember that being a part of the war?!"

"You don't even remeber the test answers. 85%."

like he smashed ur lips onto yours, you smashed your leg up his

okok I'll stfu

______

shu (love this mf too)

How could you even compete with this man?! If vox was the devil, he was the angel. He was top of your computer science class, and it didn't even look like he paid attention either. Did he join this class just to show off? Or is this some type of help-failing-students-in-computer-sceince program he was in. Your dear freind had failed that class until they got tutor by the magical man, and all of a sudden they improved gradually! We're all your lectures never enough for them?! You were already a decent student in the class, you turned about an assignment or two late every month, but that was just it! So why did he have to show up and "out do" you in anything with such a nice persona?! There was something up, you just knew it. There had to be something sinister and evil about this oh so perfect shu yamino. And it was your death wish to find out!

And the only way somebody would start such a difficult mission is to be with the man himself.

"Aha, Shu Yamino, may I please discuss something with you?" You had asked right when the bell had rung, Computer science was your last peroid, so you didn't think you'd be bothering him as much. He had given you a nod to continue as he began to shut off his computer and collect his stuff, you had gone completely silent until he fully turned towards you with a questioning look.

Honeslty up front he was better looking than you had thought. You never came to realize his highlights in his hair, or the way his middle part resembled a banana more than you had made it seem to be in your head, longer yet slightly thinning hair as it went down adorned his neck and landed at around his collarbone. A v shaped smile and bright purple orbs had just combined everything together. You need to get YOUR act together too.

With a quick throat clearing and straighting of posture, you had finally spoke to your secretly worse enemy;

"I'm. Having...Trouble..?" Was all you can manage to put out. You could've slapped yourself in that moment, now he probably thinks your having trouble trying to form a simple sentence as well. But in response, a breathy chuckle emitted out of his vocal chords

"Trouble? Sure, on what specific topic?" Aha! He bought it so easily! You didn't ever think the nerd would be so easy to manipulate— no like seriously. It's concerning how easy that was.

"I'm having trouble on Algorithm." You blurted, honestly that was one of the most simplest stuff ever, it was honestly a requirement to know that before you took the class. You just sorta blurted it out. He had bought everything you had said so far, but he'd probably now doubt you. He knew you were smart, and knew that you avoided him like the plague. This was too obvious, it's better to abort the mission by no—

"Sure, when are you free? I can do today if that's sounds well."

oh.

"Aha! Great, I can do it.. at the Cafe nearby Lake ave..does that sound well?" Shit. It took all of your willpower to compose yourself. That was terribly unexpected, so much so that you honestly regretted everything. All you had to do now was wait until your doom.

You even forgot what this was all for.

You waited at the exact spot your proposed the idea too. A nervous wreck. You had to remind yourself half way what you were here for.

'Find the bad side of shu yamino'. All you had to do was act terribly stupid! Surely he would snap at you, and you'd finally find out the truth.

But here you were, shu yamino ever so patient. You had done everything! You asked stupid questions, you have fumbled with your paper. You even had thought about going to far lengths like spilling the mysterious drink he bought. You wonder what it even was, it smelled awful. For some reason however, the man never stopped smiling and holding his calm persona. It was a facade, you knew it! All it would take it a final push to break it down, despite everything you knew your were close.

With one more stupid question of repetition, he sighed and put down his pencil. Fianlly, you had succeed—

"Give it up. I know you."

huh? "Did you really think I'd fall for this? I know that your a good student, I just played along with everything. Right when you came up to me I automatically knee what you were up to! But, I enjoyed this date of ours very much."

Wait, date?

You were bummed and embarssed he had caught you, but maybe it was for good. Maybe your mission was just to get closer to shu.

and maybe you could mark it as successful.

________

mysta

How annyoing,, it was terribly difficult to work with that man! You prided yourself in making sure nobody had broken hallway rules, you were never annyoing when correcting and reminding people, but you were when it came to him.

Mysta Rias was not only one the schools pranksters, but the "make-yn-have-the-worst-day-everinator!" He'd constantly run in the hallways, sometimes even using school property to swing himself around like a parkour course! Like your math teacher isn't going to give you extra points becuase you jumped off the water fountain at a 90° angle. Maybe you can use your poor math skills to find out the damage cost of that same fountain.

And there he went again in the middle of transition blocks, shouts of students in discomfort as he pushed past them in a mocking manner. This time for sure you would catch him, you just...also need to push past the sea of people. In a action of haste you also discarded the murmurs and other children's grunts as you rushed past everyone, and you held a firm grip upon the brunette.

Finally, You had caught the mf! Now at it was left was to drag him to the principles office and stop his stupid antics. However, a kid with green eyes stared back at you with fear.

Wrong fucking kid.

The sea of people had cast out into there classes, you held onto the kid in total shock. This was so embarrassing!! YOU GRABBED THE WRONG KID. YOU HAD ONE JOB OML

You heard a menacing irrating laughter behind you, and you new who it fucking belonged to.

"LMFAOO, you deadass thought I was that mf?! Who do you think I am?!" A fucking idiot tbh..

In a mfing FLASH you had grabbed mysta instead, dragging his ass into the direction of the princapls office. He had chuckled on the way there..until he had relized where your actually taking him.

The cocky,, arrogant persona quickly changed into one of desperation.

"Wait, you can't take me there! That will be like my what, 15th visit?! Hey cmon, I thought we were freinds, in fact, more than that!! You can't just betray me like this!!" He had scrambled out of your grip and stood right back up, quickly grabbing your shoulders and putting you in place.

"How 'bout this, if you don't take me there, I'll reward you with..a kiss!"

you gon be a enemy of the state if he keeps this up

_______

luca

Where do I start with the Jock of the school. Definition of, "Bronze but no Brains." Infact, you were probably his brains. You tutored him a lot, much to the jealousy of practically everyone in the school. It was a pain to tutor him, it was like training a dog on how to play card games. He constantly tried to change the subject, and he constantly had tried to get YOU to work out with him. You were never interested in physical activity, you much had rather secured your diploma using academic skills. You honestly thought it was all pointless, you had to be terribly good at the sport to get a diploma, it was honestly heart wrenching to see kids go through it.

But not Luca, Luca had such a postive attuide, it was like he wasn't educated on how the world and school had worked. He believe everyone could get anything. Which is a good way to think about stuff, but it's not good to apply it to everything you do.

Luca had always told you the same exact thing however. "Try the sport! I'm sure you'll be amazing at it!" And you had always told him the exact thing, "No thank you."

You had repeated the same thing every time until it was his Birthday. The 10 of April, right when the temp began to rise into spring bliss.

"Its fmy birthday wish! That's all I want from you. No presents, gift, cake, nothing!" He shouted from across the study room, in which you angrily placed your finger to your lip in a an act to shut him up, but he still persisted.

You need to also teach him that presents and gift are  basically the same thing.

"Just try one sport, I'll be your coach! We can do it after school when nobody else is here so you won't feel embarrassed to fianlly move your noodle arms around!"

What a backhanded mf.

You had a headache from his nonsense, to the point you mindlessly told him 'fine' just so you could have a moment to yourself to recover. You had completely forgotten about it, until he dragged you onto the field.

You were already out of breath from running there, now you had to actually play the sport?! You didn't even get a pick! He immediately chose football. He chucked a football towards you, in which you immediately ducked for cover.

You both knew this was going to be a terribly long day.

Minutes turned into minutes, hours into hours, you had completely lost track of everything. You laid on the field in exhaustion, as he joined you a couple minutes later— for some reason. You don't remeber inviting him.

"So! That was fun, yeah?" You had groaned in response, but you wouldn't lie to him, it was terribly fun for once.

"Whatever, my body is going to feel terribly sore tomorrow."

"I could kiss it to make it feel better!"

punch him he has cooties

_________

Ike

He was honestly perfect, and honestly the most sane out of everyone. He was at the top of his class, and had his fair share of sports and extra circular activities. He put teachers to shame with his own knowledge. And that'd exactly where it had lead you to.

Somehow you had managed to get into a AP English class. You never knew why, maybe it was becuase they ran out of people and decided to throw in students who they thought they could do well, or maybe they actually thought you were smart! Option 1 sounds more realistic though.

Your class was assigned another essay to write, and honestly you were ar the verge of a breaking point. ANOTHER essay? You could've sworn you just finished one about an historical white man. But hey, who's keeping track? Your not even keeping track of the your cup of coffee that tipped off your desk.

A huge splash echoed through the class, and a damped feeling sunk into your uniform. Shit, did that really just happen? Your gaze turned to the cup of coffee that was fully ruined, and wasted among the floor. That was going to a pain to clean up.

But wait—that's not even the point! You don't care about how tedious it will be the clean up, you care about all the eyes on you and your uniform! This was terribly embarrassing, you didn't even know what to think, your mind simply went blank. The bi haired male started back at your from the other side of the classroom, and the teacher muttered something before going to grab the janitor. Your mind was completely blank, you could hear kids snickering amongst themselves. You didn't even feel like crying, you just prayed you were dreaming.

Amongst your frantic thoughts, a hand decorated in diffrent rings reached out to you. You had peered up to see the same Bi- color haired male, the same bi colored orbs gazing right back. He had a concerned smile, and he urged his hand closer, signaling you to take it. It was almost like he teleported from his seat to you.

"Your clothes, let's stop by the office to get another uniform." He muttered, and you gladly took it. You rather had been anywhere besides that classroom.

It was silent on the walk there, you were questioning a lot of things, but especially him. You could've sworn he didn't talk to anyone else, you saw him with a freind group once, but that was it. None of his freinds were in the same AP English class either, so it was werid why he was the one to offer to take you.

Maybe he pitied you that badly.

If only you recognized how he always stared at you in class, and it wasn't just becuase you spilled coffee everywhere that one day.

You were a nervous wreck, and he was for a completely diffrent reason.

──────────────────────── it's 1am I'm so tired I'll correct grammer in the morning 🫂🫂

[apocketfullofpoesis]

topic of rant: the unnecessary hatred that "toppers" get

don't even get me started on the whole stereotyped notion that people have towards students who are nailing it, esp in a brown household and society.

1. Do you understand what a 9 CGPA is? THAT TOO IN ESTEEMED GOVERNMENT UNIVERSITIES??? THAT TOO, THE MAIN CAMPUS??? no. You don't. you also don't know how a 9.0 is generalized in a middle class Indian household. it is excruciating that you keep running your arse against sand paper and when nobody takes interest in knowing how much you scored and you go and show them on your own, they be like "I knew you could do it" like?????? 😃 YOU DID NOT KNOW IT. WHILE I WAS STUDYING YOU KEPT COMPLAINING HOW I DONT HELP YOU WITH THE HOUSEHOLD CHORES AND JUST KEPT MYSELF BUSY WITH MY BOOKS. YOU DID NOT KNOW SHIT FAMILY. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU TOOK INTEREST IN MY ACADEMIC ACHIEVEMENTS DO YOU KNOW THE RESPECT IVE GAINED IN THE EYES OF THE BEST PROFESSORS AND HOW THE WORST ONES KEEP TARGETTING ME??? but you knew it.

2. I keep seeing these reels wherein the so called influencers act like "toppers" (BECAUSE THEY CAN ONLY ACT LIKE ONE) and do the stereotyped scene of how toppers lie about how they're studying. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE EVIL EYE THINGY? ITS BECAUSE OF PEOPLE LIKE THESE INFLUENCERS WE DONT BOAST ABOUT OUR SCHEDULE BECAUSE IT SCARES US BECAUSE AT THE END OF THE DAY WE ARE INDIANS AND SOMEWHERE IN OUR HEARTS THESE KINDA SUPERSTITIONS ARE DEEPLY-ROOTED. Aur kahi toh tumlog "Nazar shit is real" kehke cool ban jate ho what happens to y'all while talking about this??? Fucking hypocrites.

3. It is appreciable if you work hard on yourself and rise from say, a 4 gpa to an 8.5, in Desi terms, "zero se hero banna" BUT DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HERO BANE REHNA IS AN EMOTIONALLY DRAINING JOB?? NO.

4. "Are tum to B.A wale ho." NAHI, HM WO LOG H JINHONE APNI POTENTIAL KE HISAB SE APNE INTERESTS KO CONSIDER KARTE HUYE EK CAREER CHOOSE KIYA WHERE WE'RE NAILING IT. unlike you, jo drop leke kuch naa ukhaad paane ke baad bhi "at least I tried" bolke pvt colleges me admission leke ek 8 bhi nahi laa pate. unlike you, we don't regret our choice, unless it wasn't your choice iykyk.

5. "But nobody forced you to throw yourself into too much study." Sis, unlike you, we're actually trying to improve ourselves and manage to at least excel at one good thing. unlike you, we're actually doing something to make our lives better. unlike you, we don't whore around the campus and club during the entire semester only to cry during exams and give excuses based on baseless criticism of the "toppers" of whom we're just insecure and jealous because they're actually good.

6. It is exhausting. The entire process. Esp when you don't get appreciated enough. This feeling of insecurity and envy is everywhere among everyone we're surrounded with. People think we must be proud. But even if we are, is there something wrong with it? They are ready to criticize us the moment we suffer a minute downfall. Remember Shylock's monologue from The merchant of Venice? Replace the Jew and Christian words with topper and average/below average students. It's that deep. If mocking us behind our backs and bitching about us when some of us are really kind and try to mingle with you, help you out - gives you peace, so be it. But please do not stereotype our efforts like that. Do not spread anymore negative emotions towards us. It honestly doesn't help any better.

[shojislady]

2. SO SCANDALOUS

"-ess.. princess. wake up, we need to get ready. kacchans making pancakes right now."

grumbling, she turns over to look at her clock. it's 10:15am, izuku let her sleep in a bit. today, the class was going out to the mall then the arcade to have class bonding time. with everything that's gone on, from the USJ incident and the tension from the sports festival, to the fight with stain (where endeavor unfairly took credit, causing the girl to have a "slight" hatred for him), and even the final exams, having to go against All Might with Bakugo and Midoriya, it was just a lot to handle. they're just kids, and kids need breaks.

walking into the bathroom, the girl began her daily morning routine.

"damn.. i look ROUGH..!" she said as she looked in the mirror. her bonnet looked as if it was trying to run away, her tank top was all twisted up, right boob was up in russia while the left one stayed home in america. she had eye boogers all around and her angel bite piercings were no where to be found.

she slept good.

"you know what... let me just wash my face right now and i'll do everything else after i eat."

her face care routine consists of ; black african soap, witch hazel, hydration drops, and a bit of coco butter.

finishing up and putting away her stray boobs, she found one of bakugos stolen hoodies and made her way downstairs.

(i would just like to add that she sleeps in boxers so yk that ass lookin fat 😋)

"good morning guys!" she greeted everyone, with a slight smile and wave. almost everyone was up, with the exception of a few people.

"hii y/n!"

"mornin bestie!!"

"Good Morning, Y/n! Glad to see you awake!"

and so on and so forth

"mornin angel.. im making your pancakes right now, but there's bacon on the tiny burner and i made u a tiny omelette. those burner thingies really come in handy, you know?"

"its a heating tray, katsu. and yes, that's why i bought them." she bought them for holidays like christmas and american thanksgiving, but since there's 21 kids living in one dorm, it's used more than expected.

"is that my fucking hood?? i've been looking for that for weeks!" bakugo exclaimed, turning around to give the girl a plate so that she could fix her food. "when the hell did you even- whatever.. as long as i get it back."

(Spoiler Alert, he doesn't)

"erm.. anyways..! so guys, what time are we supposed to be leaving??" asked y/n, going to take a seat next to shoji.

"Well, we're trying to leave for the mall around 12:45 since it isn't far, then leave the mall no later than 4:30-5." yaomomo began to explain. "I was able to rent the arcade from 6:15 to 10:30, food and drinks included, along with lazer tag , and we get the option of going in the bounce area, so when we get there just let me know."

"damn yaomomo... i knew you was stacked but DAMN!!"

"ong, bro's LOADED.."

"i'm calling you if i need to bailed out of jail."

"honestly guys it's not much, i just want us to have fun and relax as a class while being safe!" yaomomo said with a small smile on her face. she was literally loaded, like pockets so deep they could fit 3 gallons of milk each, pockets so swole they need an ice pack, pockets so fat they need they own TLC show type rich. but even so, she didn't like to flaunt her wealth. she'd rather use her money to pay for gifts and events for her friends, rather than to flex some diamond earrings or a gold necklace. She's still a teen girl though, so she still loves to go shopping. The girl is really just happy that she's found friends that actually love her for her, and not for her money.

"you're so cute yaomomo! i love you!"

"well thank you y-"

"if anyone, i mean ANYONE fucks with you, call me. these hands are rated E for Everyone. my fists are activists. i dont care if they're old, young, tall, short, fine, ugly, gay, straight. I believe in equality, and with equality comes equally distributed ass whoopings jus-"

"OK, n/n! i think momo gets how much you love her! since you're done eating can u help me?" midoriya interrupted the girls small rant.

"you gotta face the consequences of last night huh? you should've listened to me, but yeah i'll help!"

"you dont have to rub salt on the wound!" he whined. "i'll get stuff and meet in your room again?"

"sounds like a plan, izuku!" she replied, getting up to grab her plate and bring to the kitchen.

"OoOh y/n~" jirou began to tease. "last night? your room AGAIN? what scandalous activities have you been up to?"

"chill kyo, its not like that! he messed up his hair on his own and we always hang in my room bc its more.. welcoming.. then his."

"i know, y/n! im jus messin' with ya."

with her plate in hand, y/n walked into the kitchen where bakugo resided. he was cleaning the and putting away the dirty plates before he started to soak the pans.

"so, the nerd fell asleep in your room again huh?" he asked, washing a plate.

"yeah, he started to doze off a little while after you left, so he slept with me."

"i dont know why you guys dont just ask eachother out yet. you two are basically in love with eachother."

"katsuki, you know how i feel, and you know how zuku is. im pretty sure if he would act the same way with the rest of the class as he acts with us if he just trusted them more." she informed, getting ready to wash her plate before bakugo snatched it.

"don't even try it." ever since they could crawl, they've never let the girl lift a finger. hungry? chef katsuki at your service! scraped your knee? Dr.deku to the rescue! and yes, they know that she's the perfectly capable and well off to do these things on her own, but why should she when she has two men to do it for her?

"anyways. we've all known eachother since literally birth. i see things, i observe things. you two are literally inseparable. im pretty sure y'all first words were eachothers names. you know how you act around him, you see with your own two (or four) eyes the way he acts with you, and im pretty sure he peeps it too. just ask eachother out already and stop being pussies for fucks sake!"

"oh my gosh?? shut the fuck up?? you're so damn loud??" she said, slapping him in the back of his neck.

"aye. try me again and we gotta tussle. i'm not deku. i'll will beat the black off you. i strike so much fear into your melanin pigmentation that it will come to me."

"whatever katsuki, u can run me my ones later, i gotta go help zuku now."

"ight then angel, u better be ready. see ya later."

with that, she finally left the kitchen and headed towards her dorm to meet izuku.

.*•

"finally.." the boy sighed. it's now 11:45 am, and they (she) just finished detangling, moisturizing, and somewhat styling his hair. at this point, her fingers and wrists were tired, her back was aching, her feet were sore, and she had the very violent urge to go back to her black roots and pop this nigga with the comb.

"I know damn well YOU not heavy breathing like you did some work. all yo lazy ass did was sit there and watch Netflix. YOU COULDN"T EVEN HOLD THE DAMN SPRAY..."

"I'm sorry, ma. thank you so much, I should've listened to you last night. now do you already have clothes ready? or do you need to pick something out?" he asked, pulling her into a hug and rubbing her back.

".. you better be so lucky i love you. but yes, i need to pick. have u chosen?"

" yup, right before I came to wake you up. so i'll help you if you want?"

"yes please"

taglist: @ast4rg1rl

I FINALLY DID IT YALL..

and i already started the next chapter🙏🏾

well i split this chapter up into 2 to make things easier on me and y'all!!

so if its not out by next week then i'll post something embarrassing 🙏🏾

BUT ILL BE IN DUBAI FOR A WHILE SO JULY 13th IS MY DEADLINE

anywho

when i show outfits and stuff they're just there for ppl like me who can't visualize that well <3

WELL

UNTILL NEXT TIMEE

[sapphic-agent]

Not sure if I even read the Breaking Point fic. Maybe, maybe not. But I have my own share of fics that "we can fix canon" but make worse.

There one fic I recall (the name slipped from my mind) where ofa somehow shows the class A1 all the abuse Izu endured by BK - it was all thanks to bk and Izu forced team up- and still...people did nothing.

Now think about this premise: ofa shows the abuse and people are just midly concerned.

Why is that? Why make Izu be seen as a victom and get help and support is smth so rare in this fandom?

It is rare see Ochako and his so called friends do stick up for him in fics and not be demonized. Hell, there one where class A1 finds out bk bully Izu(OH MY GOD HE TRIED TO KILL HIM...why fics make them discovery their past as if is a big plot twist?) And proceed to give a taste of his own poison.

And...."this is bad. They shouldnt do this. Poor bk"

You know, some stories talk aboht forgiviness and can be a really touching and well done thing....but those are rare, extremely so. I'm tired of "forgive them bc this is correct" let Izu hold grudges. Let Izu dont forgive bk and be in his right.

A dorama who got this right is The Glory. The mc was horrible abused and got her revenge and in no point people were "forgive them" to mc.

To conclude: this fandom seems to tnink Izu and pain are the OTP when it really isnt nor should be.

Yeah, the fandom can be... Desensitized to this issue so to speak. I think this is for two reasons.

1. So much of Bakugou's behavior is brushed off as a joke. It's easy for people to turn a blind eye to his treatment of Izuku because so much of it is glazed over by cheap laughs.

Honestly I'm pretty sure that's why people think we're so stuck in the suicide baiting in episode 1. Because that's the only moment the series ever really treats Bakugou's behavior as serious as it is. Like, yeah, that was bad, but that's far from the only thing Bakugou's ever done to Izuku. There's attacking him during the Quirk Apprehension Test, hunting him down and seriously injuring him during the Battle Trials, being purposely uncooperative and punching him during the Final Exam, coercing him into a fight after curfew and demanding information that absolutely wasn't his business, throwing his headpiece at him, attempting to forcibly draw Blackwhip out with no consideration of the consequences, etc. Mind you, everything I just listed happened at UA (a few when he was supposed to be "changing"). I would argue that a good number of these things were worse than the suicide baiting.

But they don't register in people's heads the same way because the narrative doesn't treat them the same way. So when fanfiction authors try to write these stories, they're only looking at one aspect of it while turning a blind eye to everything else. They might do a decent job addressing how Bakugou treated Izuku in Aldera, but do a piss poor job of addressing his behavior at UA.

2. Horikoshi doesn't allow Izuku to be looked at as the victim.

This wasn't always the case. We're supposed to feel bad for him in episode one. We're supposed to think that his treatment at Bakugou's hands during the Battle Trials is brutal. He was written to be the sympathetic underdog who's been given a bad hand in life and gets treated like shit because of it.

But that began to change around Deku vs Kacchan Part 2. Hori knew that Izuku had to forgive Bakugou if the viewers were going to. But there was also no way to realistically do this if he actually had a negative response to Bakugou's treatment of him. So he gave us the implication that Izuku wasn't bothered by it at all (which we know isn't true because he was extremely upset when Bakugou said what he said in episode one). He confirms this through All Might of all people, so it has to be true, right?

And most viewers will accept this at face value. Because they're looking for an out for Bakugou. They're looking for a way they can like him while not condoning a bigoted bully.

That's how I see things anyway

[monochromepalette]

HELLO HELLO FIRST TIME REQUESTING EVER. 👀

I loved the angst fanfic you posted and I am a sucker for angst but lets do a lil fluff today👍Could you make a oneshot about Savannahclaw boys getting dragged to bed by an exhausted reader(male if you dont mind) in the middle of the day. Reader pulled an all-nighter for 5 days straight sleeping for 15 minutes at MAX so they could study for exams and now all they wanna do is cuddle with their boyfriend for hours (ik leona and his ass wouldn't mind it one bit but I wanna get scolded by him🥰)

(P.s. if u will do emoji anons could I be 🌺 anon ignore this part if u wont)

Hello my little 🌺Anony🌺!!! I'm so happy you enjoyed my angst fic (EEEE, I'm curling my toes >///<) It's totally ok - your first request is actually my first request submission from someone, so... this HAS to be FATE!!! :DDD I got so happy when I saw this because I didn't think anybody was going to request anything since I don't post much. Thank you so much, it seriously made my day!!! ( > u < )

* I don't have any edited pictures for the Savanaclaw boys as of now, but will make some in the near future! *

---

|●| M!Reader x Savanaclaw Boys |●|

---

* Leona Kingscholar *

"I'm exhausted," you mumbled.

You were laying on the dirt in the middle of the botanical gardens with Leona. He was hovering right over you, just staring at your baggy eyes. He was secretly being judgemental for your actions but he decided not to say anything.

"Get your lazy butt up," Leona finally grumbled. He tugged and pulled you up by your shirt like he was some middle school bully. "You still gotta go back to class."

"Can we skip class and go to bed?" You begged. "Please. Come on. Lunch time's about to hit soon."

"Last thing I want is for you to fail two years of school just like me," Leona groaned.

"Ditching a few classes ain't gonna kill me," you said and shoved his arm off playfully. You plopped back down into the ground and sighed loudly. "I studied all night to pass my exams to go to the next grade."

Leona picked you up from the ground and he carried you like you were his groom. No—scratch that—at this point, you were his groom. You didn't know where he was going as he exited the gardens and to the school. He was probably going to drop you at the cafeteria, but you decided to just hop off with the little energy you had left. There was no way you would let him do that to you.

You rolled over, getting off of him, and landed on your feet. "We're going to your room," you huffed and pulled at his arms. "You don't have a say and you're coming with me."

"You're the biggest brat I know."

"Sure am," you said as you tugged him along. You passed by the cafe and headed to the mirror chambers. Leona didn't retaliate, didn't pull you back, or even bicker with you. He just walked alongside you as you tightly held his hand so he wouldn't escape. He just let things happen as you and him jumped into the Savanaclaw mirror. As you and him entered the domain, a huge blush formed on your face that you couldn't hide from him. "I just... want to cuddle with my boyfriend after all that studying."

He knew you worked hard the past five days. Going over your notes and journals again and again, only getting some five to fifteen minutes of sleep per night. Leona's face began to heat up when he saw your tinted cheeks. He began to think about how adorable your sleeping face would be laying against his chest. He turned his head away despite you not paying attention to him anymore. Seeing how much you really wanted this break, he... might as well just let you enjoy the rest of the day with him in bed.

"You deserve this," Leona said.

"What?" You asked.

Leona, slowly regaining composure, just smiled smugly and said, "...Nothin' at all."

---

* Ruggie Bucchi *

Ruggie was bored out of his mind as he continued to cut up the slabs of meat he was going to snack on. A meat salad with a side of Jade's mushrooms was what he planned to eat. To you, it sounded more like lunch than a snack.

You just listened to the chop, chop, chop, as you focused in on your studies. Or at least, tried to study. The noise kept you from falling face-first onto the table and catching some sleep. You wanted to just slide the papers off the table but your pride and ego said, "No, human, you must study. Sleep is for the weak."

The sunlight from the windows kept bothering you and your eyes. You kept squinting, and the feeling just urged you to fall asleep. The heat felt nice on you but you kept your concentration up until Ruggie's chopping stopped. You sat straight up and pulled away from the desk. "I've had enough. I can't do this. I have to sleep."

You peered into the kitchen from around the corner, spying on whatever Ruggie was going to do next. He was looking for something in the fridge, his hand was on his chin as he thought about something.

You stepped into the kitchen and said jokingly, "How about... you stare and snack on me instead?"

Ruggie turned and furrowed his brows at you. "Nah, you humans don't give us enough protein."

"I... was kidding," You rubbed the back of your neck and smiled, trying to change the topic off of food. You intertwined your hands with Ruggie's. "It's really hot today. Will you be going to be take a nap soon?"

Ruggie raised a brow. "What's this nap gonna give me? Money? I gotta eat first and go to the lounge in an hour."

"Hm... No," you thought quietly. "But don't you hyenas like sleeping in the sunlight? I'd like to try it out with you today. There's a bunch of sunlight on the couch coming from the windows."

"Don't you have to study?"

"I've studied plenty." You pleaded and took him by the arm, heading to the living room couch, "I want and need a break with you. I've only had a couple minutes of sleep for the past five days."

"Oh sheesh, fine..." Ruggie shrugged and agreed. He pulled you in for a hug and took you down onto the couch with him. His warm body pressed against you as the sunlight hit his back. "You really didn't need to guilt trip me. I was probably gonna stay here anyways... I know you want to spend some time with me after all that studying."

Comforted by his words, you couldn't help but feel this fuzzy feeling in your chesf. "Thanks for staying. Next time, I'll repay you." You laughed lightly and kissed his forehead. You knew for sure that now you were going to ace those exams, because you were going to sleep with your boyfriend by your side.

"Wait, so you're gonna bribe me next time?"

"Go sleep."

---

* Jack Howl *

"Can you brew some tea for me real quick?" You asked as you wrote down notes from the grimoire you were studying with. The loud, quick scritches from your pencil was enough for Jack to notice that you were too busy to do it yourself. He didn't hesitate as you felt the weight of the bed pull you up higher when he got off.

When the kettle starting bubbling and brewing, you looked up to see Jack stare intensely at your work. "Did you really need to stay up all night just to study?" He asked.

"Yes," you responded, "I still do. Five minutes of sleep for five nights. That was my end goal."

Jack sighed as he stuffed the tea leaves, sugar, and cream into the mug. The kettle stopped fumig, and he poured in the hot water, mixing the concoction around. The aroma was quite strong, even from a distance away. It almost smelled like... chamomile, maybe?

Jack set down the mug on the nightstand, wrapping it up with a cold rag to let it cool down quicker. You sat there for a while, finishing the last few sentences in your journal and slamming it shut. You picked up the tea and sipped it. To your surprise, it had cooled down quite a bit. Had he used some magic? "Thank you, Jack... I appreciate you coming today," you said between your drinks.

Jack returned a smile as your hand ran through his hair. You wanted to say "good boy" but stopped yourself from saying it. Though, for some odd reason, you were slowly becoming more and more sleepy. The chamomile tea must've had taken a huge effect on you. Did he choose that on purpose?

Jack observed your eyes slowly drifting and your head nodding down, and then up. He sat down onto the bed with you, worried you'd fall off.

"I'm getting kinda drowsy," you finally admitted. You kicked your notebook and grimoire off the bed. You'd worry about the damages later. "Did you pick that tea on purpose?"

Jack's face held a puzzled expression. He seemed rather offended by your question. "That was the only one you had left."

"Ah," was all that left your mouth. You dragged Jack down with you as you plummted onto the pillows. The bed bounced and you shut your eyes. You swaddled your arms around his muscular arm and nuzzled your face against him. He was surprisingly cozy. His warmth was uncomparable to the tea he had made for you

Jack's face exploded into a deep scarlet red. "Wait, what are you—"

Before you could even answer him, you already knocked out, still snuggling beside him. Jack, feeling flustered, awkwardly positioned himself and held onto your hands that were wrapped around him. He was wondering what he should do. He closed his eyes, having no idea what he was going to say once you woke up.

[raw-law]

Pride months over (unfortunately), and ill be back in school by the end of july.. I HATE HIGH SCHOOL T-T

Im a smart kid according to what my other classmates say and they think i just get by easily (I DONT). I hate our school system so much i even considered my career in the department of education ^_^

Every single day i wake up at around 4 ish, i dont even set an alarm anymore because my eyes just automatically open around those times since i got used to doing all the time. My house is pretty far from school and bc the road is kind of narrow, traffic jams happen alllll the time so i had to leave early too. Did i mention how HOT it in our country, like regardless if its summer or not it feels as if you're a rotisserie chicken in a microwave. There were at least 13 or 15 students who fainted due to heat stroke and im one of them. One of the guys in my class were playing basketball and fainted during a match bc of heat stroke, when he woke up they still made him play :// we have to arrive at school before 6:40am, the gate closes after.. no, we dont have school buses for some reason. Everyday the teachers expect us to know every lesson so we would get to do quizzes right after the lecture. We have 10 subjects in total and everyday we have homework. Every two weeks we have exams. After those exams we get back to the lectures but we have projects that are due right before exams, we have 1 project per subject but nc we have to finish it before exams, that'll be 2 weeks. So 10 projects done in 2 weeks, along with homework. School ends at around 4pm but since i live a bit far + traffic, i arrive home at 6. I do chores for an hour and i have to eat dinner so i finish at 8 ish. I have to do my projects and homework for 4 hours which is barely enough time (i make up for it during lunch break so i tend to forget to eat which leads to me not understanding the very short lessons the teachers give). For 1 hour i study my current lessons and if i have time i advance study future lessons. I go to sleep at 1am. Once a month, our class gets an earful by teachers because we dont finish our tasks and we'll eventually fail. Aughshhhhhhhh Ill have to repeat this cycle for a couple more years but i genuinely hope theres a better school out there that ill like that wont treat me like garbage.

Anyways, Light, L, if you guys put yourselves in my shoes, do you think you would survive a whole year studying in my school?

L:

honestly, that sounds a lot like the experiences i've had with the educational system, save for the part about heatstrokes. (that sounds... highly concerning...)

i ended up attending a college preparatory school after passing the qualifications needed to get in. seems very similar to the circumstances you seem to be facing. waking up at 4 a.m., getting home two hours late because of traffic, taking quizzes right after lectures and overall just being expected to stay at the top of everything. very hellish overall, and that's only school. that's not even taking account the rest of life's cruelty.

i was lucky to make it out with a 4.0 last year, but it came at the cost of.. well. revolving life around academia and nothing else.

so, to answer your question, i do think i'd survive since i know what it's like to be in your shoes. you're definitely not alone in this suffering. however, since i understand said suffering, i would never willingly go through another version of it unless i was gaining something incredibly worthwhile, and i'm also deeply sorry that you have to experience such a horrid system at all.. good luck, soldier.

Light:

Well, actually, our school system here is rather notorious for producing gifted burnout kids, though we did score first for Math, Science and English in some standardised test whose name I can't remember.

It's hard, honestly. We're expected to plan school events and study and organise things among our classes and participate in school clubs and take third language classes. And since our school is the top school in my country we're learning things that normally we'd only learn 2 years later. At least, that's been my experience. And I know classmates who can't take the stress and have breakdowns one day, or who go to the toilet and cry because their A1 grade isn't a 'high enough A1). This is my second year in this school, and for the first I've been lucky enough to maintain the highest grades for all my subjects, but this year it's getting harder and the only way I'm getting through it is by studying.

You're definitely not alone. Hopefully it'll come as more of a comfort if you know we're all in this together. You can do it! And good luck, we're always here for you if you need it.

[quodekash]

its 7 in the morning, i have a little time, lets roll (the commentary for just this one episode is gonna be a mess lmao)

FLASHBACK TIMEEE

little baby gun wearing glasses- hes so tinyyyy

I LOVE HERRRR

THE SONGGGGG

oh my gosh its not city its a silly song about a bullfrog i love this

aw mannnn he was jokinggggg

i love how theyre speeding up some bits, but other parts theyre adding more detail because it works better for the characters

CITYYYYYY

"im sorry, bro" I LOVE HIS ENGLISH WORDS

I NEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THIS UNIVERSE POR, WHY IS HE NOT FLUENT IN THAI

CAPTAIN PORRRR

and so the captaincy begins

good luck por

IMAGINARY TINN IMAGINARY TINN IMAGINARY TINN

IMAGINARY GUN SCENES ARE MY FAVOURITES

IMAGINARY GUNNNNNNN

i love forth so much hes such a good actor i love him i love him

tinn's little chants and then the ear blows like its some kind of magic spell RHJBGH

WAIT A SEC IT JUST OCCURRED TO ME

SOUNDWIN HAVE SWITCHED

DOES THAT MEAN SOUND IS THE ONE TO CONSTANTLY FALL ASLEEP IN CLASS??

pls let that be the case

i could have so many thoughts and headcanons if that's the case

GIJREKDBG I LOVE THAT BOTH SOUND AND WIN ARE HERE FOR THE EXAM PASSING STUFF

YO WITH THE DISBANDING NONSENSE

also win's expressions and mannerisms and stuff are gonna be excellent for an in depth analysis of sound later

i know ive done a million in depth analyses of sound

but you can never have too many

"i feel at ease now" "i somehow feel like we're getting a full score" i love this so much, i love them so much

CHINZHILLAAAAA

"will he have time for us?" "OF COURSE" this is so funny and amazing and perfect and all the good words

cos theyre literally in the same room. why wouldnt he hear them? and they needed to progress the plot. and gun would do that, whereas tinn wouldnt actually say anything.

I JUST LOVE IT SO MUCH

"dont doubt nosy guys like us" lmao theyre not even trying to think about a cover story, just 'hey, you know we're nosy.'

I LOVE THAT SOUND IS SPEAKING UP MORE OFTEN BC HE'S THE WIN IN THIS SCENARIO HFBGHRB

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

COMFORT CHARACTER GO BRRRR

okay ive finished 2/4 and now i need to go again

IM BACK! to you guys that was no time at all, for me that was 12 painful hours

my friend went further ahead than me and sent me a few clips and hOLY HELL i have felt like im missing out ALL DAY

BUT WE'RE HERE NOW

EWVOUSDLV

THE HEART GRAPH SCENE BUT REVERSED GRBGHDB THEY MAKE ME SO HAPPY

ITS LIKE EXACTLY THE SAME

BUT ITS DIFFERENT BECAUSE THEYRE DIFFERENT PEOPLE

GIUEJSBD I LOVE IT

"i didnt mean to kiss you" PFFFFT GBRSDHXGB I LOVE THIS

GHREBDFG ALL OF THE FRIENDS SITTING AT THE TABLE

1. I LOVE ALL THEIR GROUP DYNAMICS SO MUCH

2. THE WAY THEYRE ALL WHINING AND COMPLAINING AND TALKING OVER EACH OTHER LIKE LITTLE KIDS GBFDGHBH

"I DONT HAVE ANY!" you dont have any.

like. what.

you have. no food?

h- how-

"if youre hungry, go eat somewhere else" damn bro

i do like that gun has kept his temper tho

theyre the same people as the originals, just in different situations and with different contributing factors and i could think about this for so long i love this so much holy hell

"why did you invite them" "my friends are stupid" i mean, is he wrong?

THE PARALLEL OF TINN/GUN YELLING AT GUN/TINN AND POR/TIW TAKING THEM AWAY FROM THE GROUP AND SAYING "thats your baby" GEHRSBGD

HIS EYES GOT SO SUDDENLY WIDE WHAT THE HELL

I NEARLY FELL OFF MY BED

TIW IS SO SILLY IN THIS UNIVERSE

I LOVE IT SO MUCH

I LOVE SILLY TIW

omg all of them chanting 'hot pot'- its like little children begging for mcdonalds

poor gun and por have to deal with these children

i love them

GUYS WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING SO EVILLY

YOU FORGET, THE PEOPLE BEHIND YOU ARE IDIOTS

THEYRE GONNA THINK YOURE PLOTTING THEIR MURDER OR SOMETHING

either that or they just. wont notice the very loud evil laughter coming from the corner.

both options are equally plausible.

oh they got louder

i think they noticed

OHHHH, THIS IS WHERE THE MOTORBIKE SCENE IS FROMMMMM

SOUNDS MOTORBIKE- COS SOUND WOULD HAVE THE MOTORBIKE IN THIS VERSION, NOT WIN

GRJBDGJEBRD

my brain is playing the freaking soundwin motorbike scene but with the roles reversed and im-

HEARTLIMING NOW IM THINKING OF HEARTLIMING

SOUNDWINDIDITFIRST

theyre really just copying from soundwin even in different universes, damn

why does sound have little boots on his keychain

gotta love the (not at all) subtle advertisement

SOUNDWINDIDITFIRSTSOUNDWINDIDITFIRSTSOUNDWINDIDITFIRST

ITS LIKE SHOT-FOR-SHOT THE EXACT SAME SCENE

THEYRE NOT EVEN TRYING TO BE ORIGINAL ANYMORE, THEY KNOW SOUNDWIN IS BETTER

no hate to tinngun, i love them

but also. soundwin.

SOUNDWIN STUDY SCENE YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES MY FRIEND TOLD ME ABOUT THIS

this is gonna be entirely keysmashes

holy hell

the question is: am i gonna survive this

THE WAY WIN IS LOOKING AT SOUND

BOY YOURE WHIPPED AS FU-

"sounds studying mode. how cute!" HEEEEELLLPPP

and yes, i am aware, this scene is tinngun did it first. and yes. its also basically frame for frame. but soundwin did it first in most cases so i stand by this

GU4OEBSDJL

DUDE THATS A LONG FREAKING TIME

HOW DO YOU SIT FOR THAT LONG

holy hell i cant wait for my sound adhd hcs to finally be justified

sorry i have to keep pausing it so that i can just. take a sec. and process what's just happened.

and also to get out the million streams of thoughts that pop into my head

so yeah

THESE EPISODES ARE GONNA BE GREAT FOR AGGRESSIVELY ANALYSING ALL OF MY BOYS GERDJHGBF I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

FREAKING.👏 MOOD.👏

THEHANDSTHEHANDSTHEHANDSTHEHANDSTHEHANDSTHEHANDS

I NEED HELP

WIN'S LITTLE SMILE- IM DYING MY HEART IS EXPLODING MY SOUL IS IN THE ROOF HELP

SATANGS VOICE IS SO CUTE WHEN HE GOES NA NA NA NA NAAA

I LOVE HIM

guess who just squeak-squealed

me

they freaking played the freaking no one else like me track

and i know they play it over every important soundwin moment

but its like

directed at sound

rather than from sound

like. as if the song is coming from win's brain and not sounds.

like. as if. as if win sings the song in this universe.

SERIOUSLY I NEED IT SO MCUH

I KNOW IT HAPPENED IN MY SCHOOL PRESIDENT LIVE ON STAGE

BUT IT NEVER HAPPENED IN THE ACTUAL SERIES

AND IF IT HAPPENS HERE THEN THERE'S A CHANCE THAT ITLL BE ON SPOTIFY

PLEASE I NEED IT

DESPERATELY

GIMME

i think ive ascended into another plane of existence

i cannot- how do you- how does function

TIWPOR

GJERBSG

desperately hoping for more than crumbs, that they actually commit to the tiwpor in this version

(which i know they do because of the clips my friend sent me and im so excited to experience this firsthand)

omg

this part

my friend sent me this part

i think im going to explode

GOUERJHDGOIJBERNO;FDGLJKNV4OERIJDFBGNOI4ELRJDNGIO34HEIRDGOIH34ERDIOGHK34ERPOIDLKGN34EIORDGNV3EIO4RDJNGO3IE4RHNDGOI4EHRINDNG9OIH3N4ERO8DIGH340IEORHG0IO34BERDOB

PLEASE

IT DOESNT FEEL REAL

HELP

HE SAID IT

HE SAID THE THING

AND TIW'S SWEET LITTLE INNOCENT FACE- WHAT THE HELLLLLL

I AM DYINGGGGG

tiwpor exist

they actually exist

"i like it" "you like me?" EGIRBJKS

COS TIW, BEING TIW AND NOT POR, IS NOT SUPER OBLIVIOUS AND INNOCENT

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

"ill teach you later." "promise me, okay?" BRO THEYRE PLANNING A DATE. THATS WHAT THIS IS. THIS IS A DATE. WHAT THE HELL.

THE PINKIES

AND COME CLOSER PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND

JUST STAB ME IN THE HEART ALREADY

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

AND THEY JUST. STAND THERE LIKE THAT.

even the camera angle is exactly the same as the original. i swear they just filmed this on the same day. surely. its so similar.

also random thought: WHERE THE HELL IS MY BOY JORN

PUT YOUR HEAD ON HIS HANDS

PLEASE PUT YOUR HEAD ON HIS HANDS

por speaking english >>>>>>

lets. lets not get into that territory.

we dont need daddy kinks, thank you very much.

i cant explain it but i love the way theyre standing

win with his arms crossed

sound with hands on hips

its very Dads of them

mood

HUGS ALL ROUND

TINNGUN HUG

TIWPOR HUG

SOUNDWIN HUG

THE FREAKING ARM OVER THE SHOULDER

THE FREAKING GRIN

THE WAY WIN IS LOOKING AT SOUND

THE FREAKING LINGERING HAND AT HIS HIP???? HEEEEEELLLPPPP

"pat, should we hug too" lmao yopat felt left out

POR SPEAKING ENGLISH >>>>>>>>>

ITS ALWAYS SO JARRING BUT I LOVE IS SO MUCH

TINNGUN SLEEPOVERRRRRRRRRR

OH COS SOUND IS SNORING

THEYRE ALL SLEEPING OVER AT GUN'S PLACE

WAIT YOU NEED TO GIVE ME MORE DETAIL

WHO IS SLEEPING IN A ROOM TOGETHER

HOW MANY ROOMS ARE THERE

all we know is gun and por shared a room, and tinn and sound shared a room. where are the rest of them? was win perhaps also in the same room as sound and tinn? now that tinn is gone, what does this mean for soundwin? PLEASE

"tinn, have you fallen asleep?" dude. you lied down like. ten seconds ago. hes not gonna be asleep yet.

the dancinggggg i love themmmmm

gay panic gun is my favourite

i love him

BRO GUN IS BOLD

WHY MUST TINN FALL ASLEEP

gun burying his face in his pillow and squealing and kicking his feet- that has been me this whole episode. I LOVE PORGUN'S FRIENDSHIP MORE THAN ANYTHING

BROOOOOOOOOO

WIN ASKING TO CHANGE PARTNERS, BROOO

HE'S JUST GOING THROUGH THE EXACT SAME THING THAT GUN'S GOING THROUGH

HES GAY AND HIS HEART CANT TAKE IT

AND NEITHER CAN MINE

DANCE WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND, WIN

guys.

guys.

why are you switching partners.

dont do that.

you havent practiced with each other.

I NEED SOUDNWIN

also: TIWPORTIWPORTIWPORTIWPOR

COME CLOSERRRRR I LOVE THIS SONG

its slightly different somehow

i like it

its so awkward with the partners tho

YES I AM IMMEDIATELY TEARING UP

GUYS THEYRE DOING THE MSP LIVE ON STAGE CHOREO

TIWPOR ARE GONNA DANCE TOGETHER

SOUNDWIN ARE GONNA DANCE TOGETHER

IM GONNA DIE

HELP

THE CHOREOGRAPHY IS SO PRETTYYYYYYYYY

literally just had to shut my laptop for a sec there

holy hell

they mean too much to me

how do i process this

theyre dancing together

soundwin are dancing together

THIS

FREAKING

CHOREOGRAPHY

the yopat is confusing me but im digging it

THE WAY THEYRE GAZING INTO EACH OTHERS EYES, LIKE THERES NOTHING BUT THEM TWO, JUST THEM, FOR ETERNITY, DANCING TOGETHER, THEIR WHOLE WORLD IS NOTHING BUT HIS EYES AND HIS HANDS AND THEIR FEET AS THEY DANCE AROUND THE ROOM, ENTRANCED BY EACH OTHER

guys this freaking choreography. guys. look at the choreography. whoever the choreographer is. i lvoe them so much. this is amazing.

i need to play this clip on repeat for the rest of eternity

TIWTIWTIWTIWTIWTIWTIWTIWTIWTIWTIWTIW

DANG IT I RAN OUT OF IMAGES HANG ON

[baconlettucetomatoeggs]

lest reality may gaslight me...........

i admit there's this growing jealousy of mine when she talks about her escapades in coding. it kinda reminded me how little i know, when in fact i should know this.

now the semester's coming (yep i got enrolled, thank god) i did what most people do when they're dunno what the heck things would do: ask their nearest person

"so, honest question, do you think we're work-ready?" "i dont think so. why's that?" "if beginners nowadays can code RISC-V like it was nothing, what's left to us? sure we can say we studied this course for like 4 years but... isnt that a waste?" "i mean... yeah? i mean even the webdevs of our course were really cocky. no one even taught us AI. heck, our classmates are working on BPO. nothing wrong about it but it's such a waste of skill" (some context on the text above: the mate's specializing in AI. also some of us know webdev. at least we can deploy XAMPP and call it a day. others feel fancy with their javascripts. the second person also has a knack of wanting to make a RISC on their own. welp) and i'm still here being jealous with even seeing double colons on code, or even a simple coding example. i just cant do this anymore. it's filled with spite and i dunno where to channel that frustration: i need to learn this. but i cant. and i'm demotivated.

then she started planning on making a compiler.

we never had that kind of stuff in my course. so in confusion, i asked my mates who were studying outside of my cooleg

"hey y'all made compilers in your course?" "yeah." and idk what to say. i just wasted 4 years of my life. just. gone

"why didnt you take a course that has a license? i mean, with that entrance exam score you're set to every course" because i liked it here. but now it's just a lie.

and i wasted 4 years of my life here.

i remembered the Cult Leader (my prof, not really a cult leader but their messianic complex is HARD) said to us: "what's the use of learning low level? everything's done in web these days" as my mates and i were doing system calls on our devices.

and the worst of it all was the fact that my bff told me a real cold hard truth accidentally:

"hey did you know? your course is just a minor on this other engineering course"

lol i have no pride left in my what is essentially me, my hobby, my joy, my life. not only im dumb, but i know nothing

so, there are two options left for me:

just cry about it.

accept that everything is mediocre and you need to walk on your own, spite and all

while eating my lunch today, i told to myself i need a focused learning of all the things i wanna learn to. no i wont speak it beacause im afraid it wouldnt come to fruition

i wanna apologise to her tbh. not only she didnt know, i just dunno what she talks about 80% of the time. i like it when she's around, and i like it when she's eager on something. sorry ><

kinda disappointing that i'll go back on 4th year instead of 1st year. i definitely need that introductory class.

all i got in the end was... please dont tell your hobbies, because if you do you'll feel insecure about it when you find you dont hobbied hard enough

or maybe stuck myself reading philosophy books, whatever.

P.S.

so i asked myself wtf are we geared upon??? and welp it was obvious in hindsight, and in that one startup i worky on: it's all about building systems, the macro scale. hell we have prereqs for software engineering and another one for the Master's course

and while washing the dishes, i though like: COME ON, THAT'S EASY! IT'S EASY TO FOLLOW PARADIGMS AND JUST MIRROR IT AS IS! ANYONE CAN BUILD A MODULAR SYSTEM, OR EVEN A MONOLITHIC ONE, COME ON!!!!

sorta like the disconnect between businessmen talking about their plans 10 years (they always talk about this) vs friends planning a vacation 12 hours in advance. the first one dont need that much mental flex, only daydreaming.

...probably this is why the trend seems to be microservices, where they all struggle to keep their modularity in check. and now they removed the ethics board. they wanna think about futures, but not the present. may they rot in peace.

p.p.s

ok if you ask me what i wanna learn, it'll be HDL (verilog?) on the mondays, C/Rust on the tuesdays (cant decide. fuck it PSP time), RISC-V on the wednesdays, MIPS on the thursdays (fuck it PSP time), and friday's just Cebuano. saturday and sundays are for dumb time. cant decide how to tho. you can prolly do algorithms on any of those but that would be silly unless it's higher level i seriously wanna learn like functional languages, or languages near the theoretical side of things. we dont have the math touch in our hands and in fact we only have like 2 semesters of calculus.

this isnt prolly gonna be in fruition considering i laze around and dont have the will for anything than breathing and living

im kinda excited what shits will do in our embedded systems class. they said it's all arduino and stuff, why not go nuts? i guess.

there's 2 days of Neural Networks. no we wont build exotic stuff like GANs or something.

sigh. even with all this, i'm still dumb.

[khodorkovskaya]

What's up with uni????? What did those fucķers do????? Dont let them get you down boo you're worth far more

girlllll

okay now that the story's over i can talk about what happed. the stress i was under oh my god... i thought it was all over....

so basically the way it works in my uni is that you have 2 tries to pass an exam. if you don't pass the first time, you retake in august. passing grade is 4/6 and you need a 4 in every subject to pass the year. and if you take the exam twice and still get less than 4, you're kicked out.

so i was in my final year of mathematics and i had 2 exams to retake in august. probability and functional analysis. both of which were super hard, i studied my ass off lemme tell you.

and it was very stressful because again, if you don't pass on the 2nd try you get kicked out. and in my case that meant 4 years down the drain.

so i passed probability. and the functional analysis grade took a very long time for some reason. side note: we don't get notified when we get our grades. you have to go on the student portal and refresh the page everyday basically. they update the portal like twice a week i think and every time it's updated there's a countdown. so sometimes you go on the portal and it says "your results will be available at 16:34" for example. so you have to wait. and when it's updated it doesn't mean that there are new results. it's just an update and maybe you haven't received anything.

so after the functional analysis exam i like refresh the student portal every day. and every time it's nothing. a week goes by, two weeks go by. im like wtf where's my grade. we were only 4 people to retake it so what was taking them that long ?????

friday comes around and im like okay, they're gonna publish the results today, right ??? because monday it's the start of the school year. so we're gonna get results before the new year starts, right...? right.. ??????

so i refresh the portal and there's nothing and at like 8pm there's a message like "your results will be available at 20:45". so im like shit here we go. my heart starts pounding, im like this is it. it's the only exam i have left to complete my bachelors. 20:45 comes, i refresh the page and still! no results!

so im like fuck looks like im gonna receive my grade the day school starts basically. and idk what to do. because like... do i start my master's? do i not? what's going on? where do i go?

so i go to like the first class of my master's program, i go on my phone every five minutes to see if the portal has been updated. and still nothing!

at 4pm i finally see that there's a countdown. so like my whole body's shaking. im like this is it.

i open and....... 3.5 !!!!!!!!!!!!

and im like fuck. what do i do.

it was my 2nd try and i failed. that's it. four years of my life down the drain. so that means that im gonna have to restart a bachelor's degree again. or just abandon higher education all together. for one fucking subject. and half a point.

so im like devastated.

i go to the student counselor and cry like my life is over. and he tries to console me and tells me that when i get the elimination letter, i can try to ask them to take me back. because come on, like this is ridiculous. i have 174 credits out of 180. and a 3.5 is almost a pass. so the counselor told me that i should write a letter to the dean and like maybe even get a doctor's note from my therapist or something. literally anything that could help my case.

and then! he mentioned that i can consult the exam! because who knows, maybe the TA missed something during the correction. and for half a point there's a possibility, right?

so i go see the TA. and uhhh.... yeah. that was the case. he couldn't read my handwriting and missed a bunch of points. so in the end, yeah, he corrected his correction and i got a 4.

all this stress!!!!!!!!! like guys. im ajkdsahioe likeeee brooo .,,,,,,,..,,...

[1d1195]

Hiiiii!

It's been a while, I love the way you explain stuff😭 Ding is so freaking amazing.

So, oh, before I forget, I do study English literature and translation ( Arabic - English) btw you're a teacher? I saw some anon I think (💜 anon?) Wishing you a happy teacher's day idk about it cause we don't celebrate that here but yeah I didn't know that sounds fun! Let me guess (English teacher?)

So you know, yesterday I had a relaxing shower and afterward I wanted to style my curly/wavy hair naturally, so I think k it's a mix of 2a and 2b and that's funny cause I really tried like I saw some pics on pinterest and some videos on tiktok that motivated me but I kinda failed? 😭😭 I just rubbed the cream into my hair and pulled it back into 2 low buns but that's funny cause just before going to bed (I'm struggling with insomnia I've been staring at the ceiling since 1am and now it's 4am😭)anyway so I just fixed my hair to bed and it looked good! Like I had put effort into it, but I didn't! I think the curls aren't gonna make it till the morning🙈

Ehhh I dont know why in the freaking freak did I just say this whole story to you but I think you'll tolerate me right?

So back to classes and huffs and puffs, my finals start on the 20th. I'm not nervous, tbh I'm excited, I wanna get over with these freaking exams to read my books in peace.

So.. Love and Other Words and The Rose Code, huh? They really sound so interesting. I'm gonna need to read them. I'm also planning on reading the Twisted and King series, and do you mind if I tell you that you need to check Interlude right the tuck now? It's so freaking good you need to read it. You'll shed many tears, istg never have I ever cried this much in my whole life in "that" specific chapter, but I just love angst! But I promise it's not like that, okay? It's just amazing amazing I'm currently reading insurgence (the sequel) it's still on going bur I just love this book so much. I hope Mikii considers publishing it someday!

And I've always wanted to ask! What is your favorite piece that you wrote? I read a couple of series that you wrote, but I just wanna know which one js your favorite 🎀

Thank you so much I think you're kinder and better thank you 🩷🩷🩷🩷

I'm gonna need to study 3 novels tmrw cause I promised myself to do so! (Pride and Prejudice, David Copperfield, and The Portrait of a Lady) we studied them for my finals, but i just want to start my revisions, so... to teach and please ig😭😭

Have a very wonderful day, Sam!!! (BTW, my childhood bff's nickname's Sam! We're still friends, and we still love each other the same but not bffs anymore)

Oh now I remembered that I wanted to rant about the future and how I'm afraid of it being a (soon to be 19) girl who is (soon to be a junior) trying to be independent but in reality she will cry if you dare give her a nasty look but I guess it'll have to wait for next time cause my eyes seem to be dropping finally😭😭 I'll tty lysm🩷🩷

-🎀anon

😭 idk what I explained, but I'm glad it came out well and that you liked it! 💕

I am a teacher! A math teacher actually if you can believe it. Writing is just a hobby of mine and I love it, but it's only for me. Teaching math is much more enjoyable than teaching English (at least I imagine so). In the US we have teacher appreciation week to recognize teachers' hard work. I had one of my current students write me a letter and one of my students last year messaged me to wish me well. But it's not that exciting tbh--well, I do get a lot of coupons emailed to me hehehe

I know NOTHING about hair. (Literally had to google what 2b meant) I make my sister figure out what I need to do and then I just do what she says. I think we might have the same hair type though based on the pictures I googled! I have one curl cream thing that I put in my hair and scrunch each morning and then hope for the best (and that there will be low humidity). It's cool to experiment with your hair, even if it doesn't turn out the way you want it to in the morning! Then you know for the next trial. Of course I tolerate you--even though that's not what I would call it, I love to hear what you're doing!

I bet you're going to crush your exams! It sounds like you're ready for it! Books in peace is a MOOD. I'm excited for you!

My favorite piece I've written oh boy. Umm...I think it would be Protection. Or maybe Zipper. Idk I feel guilty picking one over the other and I love writing them all. I will tell you I think I like Protection more than Traditional which is probs sacrilege to write on my own blog because I think everyone under the sun would choose Traditional over Protection hahahaha but I liked planning Protection more than Traditional. Although Dolcezza really took hold of my heart VERY hard. Especially lately. Probably one of the three: Zipper, Dolcezza, or Protection.

I hope studying has gone/went well and you got some sleep after being up so late! You're going to have a wonderful future, I'm sure of it, and don't worry about forgetting something. I'm not going anywhere! 💕

xoxo

[dianneslim]

Tribute to new CPAs speech,

July 03, 2023.

(Blog bc im proud of this and it was a full circle moment 🙆🏽‍♀️)

I do not know what is so special about me that Miss Uy asked me to deliver this speech. I'm not the most brilliant in our batch, I never topped the pre-boards during my review with PRTC, let alone top the board exam. But she said "We want someone, a representative from USJR and kana nasad dili topnotcher" ahh to represent us, kanang confidence lang ang puhonan (hahaha) And also I think she knows na baga lang jud kog nawng. And true enough, confidence, I must say, is one big contributing factor that got me here. Because I have always felt that when you believe in yourself you'll be able to be so much more that what you aspired to be. However, in my case, my confidence “powers” doesn't only come from within. I owe it to the people around me who believed in me.

Allow me to take this moment to thank the people who has been with me to reach this remarkable point of my life.

First and foremost, to my family for they are the one who has always been there for me since day 1, thank you for the unwavering love and support, as always.

I'd also like to thank my batchmates, classmates and dear friends who have given me memories to hold until I grow old. Without you, my BSA journey wouldnt be as splendid as it was.

As someone who has been with the university for 16 wonderful years, you have given me some of my loudest cheers. I owe it to my USJR grade school, high school, and college josenian teachers and educators, faculty, and staff, who have molded me to be who I am today.

And of course, I'd also like to give a 100-star review to the USJR CPA Review center, that has always been amazing as ever. Headed by Miss Kristine June Uy, and his number 2, Sir Jekris, and to the dynamic staff Joyce, Fred, Pau, Ava, Sandra, and Mae, with special participation of Sir Amps and Kuya Nelson. In behalf of the Team PRTC Batch May 2023 & USJR Integrated Batch Adamas, we would like to sincerely thank you for everything that you do for the integrated students and for the reviewees. For staying with us in our 7am-9pm integrated and review classes, for sacrificing your holidays and weekends just to cater us. For providing us a review center that we can call our home. Because basically we're at the CPA library or at the rooms 12 or more hours a day and you have always made sure that we were provided with the facilities that we need. Can we all give them a round of applause???

And lastly, to my one and only God who have always been blessing me from above. From undergrad, to integrated class, up to my review, everytime i'd fear that I may fail, I would always remind myself that there is a God who will save me. He has saved us once, and he will save us once more, time and time again. His saving may come in a different form, even in forms that we least expect and in forms that we may not understand for now, but I trust that his saving grace will push me back up again and make me go on.

Without all of these people, I literally wouldn't have done it. Because they believed in me, that made me believed in myself.

Oftentimes during my review, inevitebly, I doubted that I may even pass the CPALE and I said to one of my most favorite teachers "Sir, kung magkinaunsa, i congrats gyapon ko ha for taking the exam" and he said one of the most memorable things that anyone has ever said to me, he told me (verbatim ha) "Dianne, just so you know, I believe in you. And at the very least I'd say, congrats for passing the exam." People who know me must know that I'm not used to people saying those kind of cheesy stuff to me but at that moment, I believed him and that helped me in so many ways to carry on with my review and even in the most draining days that I dont feel like studying, I'd remember those words.

Today my friends, I'd just like to put it out there that I do believe in you, I really do. I believe that you're gonna reach the cut-off grades, that you're gonna pass every qualifying exam, to Batch Edeosa — that you're gonna get through the integrated class, and ultimately, I believe that you will be a CPA. And to my co-CPAs, I do believe that you're gonna make it life. (And when you do, ay kog kalimti ha, Dianne Lim) Im not even gonna sugarcoat it, but brace yourselves because from now on it's gonna be tougher. Even to us CPAs, it's gonna be tougher than ever. But my prayers always always have been that may we have the courage to face whatever is to come, and i pray that we may have the strength to endure it all. I'd like to leave you with this thought "have a little faith because If you have come this far, then there must be something special in you."

Thank you everyone and Adelante!

[sanshine]

man studying online really just sucks the life out of me

[steelycunt]

hey!! idk if you have answers this before, but when do you think remus’ and sirius’ realization of their feelings for each other happened? (like, in a magical universe). And do you think they would have dated (or tried to, anyway) other people or would they have been like “It’s always been you and it will always be you, but I will continue to be an idiot for a bit longer for x, y, and z”?

<33

hii!! oo fun question. i saw jude recently give a really good answer to a similar question to this that i definitely agree with here !! (hope u dont mind me linking ur post jude but i just loved ur take on this!!). i also know i sound like a broken record here but i love the moment of sirius' realization in gamesformay's atyd ..that fic is so so special n correct to me so i have to mention it xox under the cut for my rambling !!

i definitely think sirius always knew that he felt differently abt remus than he did the other two, even if he couldnt immediately label those feelings on the train at the ripe old age of 11. i feel like very soon after he sort of sussed out that he was gay, he began to identify what those diff feelings meant, which i'd say wouldve been around 13-15? so at the later end conceivably around one of their first full moons!! but i can also imagine him younger than that just sitting in the hospital wing waiting for remus to wake up after a moon alone n then he does and he looks at sirius and sirius just thinks shit, or something really brief and muted, like being 14 and in class and smiling at each other from opposite ends of the room over some inside joke, and it makes sirius feel hot and jittery and off-kilter except this time he sort of gets why. i remember having this like abandoned drabble id written abt everyone laying about out on the grounds after summer exams together, and remus is sort of half asleep and that's when sirius glances over at him and really realizes, and i definitely picture it as some sort of quiet, young, fragile, slightly mundane moment like that <3

remus id say was a bit older!! but by the time/once the prank happens he's definitely aware that he's in love with sirius and probably always has been. he might've dated other people when he was younger but we're talking like...very modest 13-year-old style 'relationships'--i really dont think either of them would've dated seriously. by fifth year at the latest neither of them are going to date other people, even if they're not with each other yet. the thing with remus is i feel like sirius very much believes that remus isnt drawn in by the cockiness and the charm and the looks the way other people are. but he like...very much absolutely is, lol, although he's also completely deeply in love with the softer, more vulnerable/tender side of sirius that other people don't get to see. he's a dumb teenager and its terrible n predictable but he can't really help being swept away by his pretty, turbulent, incendiary best friend. i can imagine them pulling a prank off in, say, third year and sirius wrenching him into a broom cupboard to hide and big red lurid sirens going off in remus' head like fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. but i also really like what jude said abt him maybe having an idea of how he felt, but finally really placing it after the prank, because he's confronted with this terrible thing sirius has done to him and the most resounding feeling is: but i love him doesn't it matter that i love him. doesn't that count for anything doesn't he realize wasn't that enough to stop him from doing something like this to me? but it obviously wasn't. and remus loves him anyway.

[tinysushimark]

My Everything (HRJ)

1.7k words. (Fluff)

Sometimes you wished you could run away from college and then run a café and live with your boyfriend.

You looked up at him, he was playing on his phone, why was he so relaxed? He has finals too next week. "Renjun! Don't you have to study?" You said.

"I'm done with my course." He said looking back down at his phone.

You sighed, he was always one step ahead of you, even when you were in school he used to teach you things because he was done. Now, even in college he was done before you. Even though you had different majors, you had the same college and fortunately, your classes took place in the same building.

A sigh escaped from your lips as you looked at the amount of chapters left. "What's wrong baby?" Renjun said, sitting next to you.

"I have 3 more chapters left, and exams are next week." You said. "Anything i can help with?" At this you snickered.

"Babe you're an arts major, how are you going to help me with Company Law?" You smiled and looked down.

"I am smart." He said.  "I never said you're dumb."

He stood behind your chair and started massaging your shoulders and neck. "Renjun what the-" He shushed you. "Get back to work." He kept massaging your shoulders.

"Renjun stop. That fucking hurts."

"You're stressed it's all pent up-"

"I told you to fucking stop it." You shouted at him, shooting a death glare.

"Why are you being so mean? I'm just trying to help." Renjun spat at you.

"You're clearly not helping, so how about you leave? You're just adding on to my stress with your completed course." You shouted at him.

He picked his bag up and slammed the door on his way out, making you flinch a little.

Asshole, that's the only word that came to your head once he left. His temper is very very short. Sometimes you wondered why you dated him and got annoyed at him. You had noticed how nowadays, the way he dealt with you had started changing.

He'd shout and slam doors. He never did that before but he was doing it nowadays. He is definitely bored of you and wants to break up with you, this is what you thought.

He on the other hand was very stressed, it wasn't about studies, it was about his family. After he left for college, he got to know about the fights which happened back at home. His mom and dad were fighting a lot more than when he was back at home. It had driven him off the edge that he wasn't there to stop his parents. He was an only child, so he'd end up persuading them to stop fighting, but he couldn't do it from here, in college. The only person who'd listen to him was getting annoyed at him too, you. He thought that he was the problem, probably everyone around him has problems because of him.

You weren't able to complete your course because Renjun decided to stay the nights in between semester and took you out so much. If he would've told you to study, you'd be revising by now. He forgot that you leave everything for him. He hadn't told you anything about what was happening back at home. He applied to the same college as you because he didn't want to lose you but he slowly understood that he was just a distraction for you.

Renjun didn't speak to you the entire week, and the week after that. You were done with your exams but still no contact or trace of Renjun.

You called him multiple times those weeks but he didn't pick up, knowing that he was probably busy revising, you left him alone. You needed the space.

After your exams were over you went to his shared flat, one of his flatmates saw you in an alleyway and smiled at you. "Mark, have you seen Renjun?"

"Renjun went to college, he must be back by now though." Mark said.

"Ok, thanks."

"If he isn't home, you can just wait on the couch, he'll be back soon I think." Mark said.

You nodded, bidding Mark a goodbye and walking to their apartment. Renjun had told you the password to the apartment, all his flatmates knew that he had a girlfriend and they didn't mind it. They were friendly and got along with you.

When you unlocked the door and got in you saw a girl in the kitchen, around the same age as you.

"Oh Mark you're back?" She said and turned around. "Hello." You said and she smiled at you. "Who are you by the way?" She asked you, the question took you aback.

"I'm Rejun's girlfriend." You said, her mouth formed a small Oh. "What's your Major and Year?"

"I'm a final year in BCom."

"I'm a first in year Mass Media. Oh by the way I'm Mark's girlfriend."  She said and passed a cup of coffee towards you. "Renjun isn't home, how about you wait here till he's back? He said he wanted to get some groceries." Mark's girlfriend said. She was younger than you and Mark. Mark was doing his post graduation and she was in her first year. You and Renjun were the same age.

When Renjun had moved in only Mark was living here, before another guy named, Jeno had moved in. You had found yourself a reasonable one flat apartment but slowly it's cost was rising which was a problem for you, but you kept living in it.

"We're looking for a flatmate." Mark's girlfriend said, trying to break the awkward silence. "Oh, where do you live?"

"The apartment above."

The both of you started talking about college and she told you details about the flat and the empty room. It seemed decent and you thought about it. "Can i see it?" It was a chance to be closer to Renjun, he wouldn't have to commute so much to see you.

Renjun came back home an hour after you had arrived, Mark and his girlfriend kept you entertained. They made you coffee and spoke to you.

When Renjun came home, you saw his red face, which was puffy.

He saw you and stood at the door frozen. Slowly tears started to fall from his eyes and your movements were quick. You ran to him and hugged him. He fell on his knees near the shoe shelves and you hugged him. He cried into your arms and you soothed his back.

"What's wrong Jun?" You asked softly. Instead you got a louder sob for a reply.

His grip around you tightened and he cried for a few minutes before pulling away and pushing your hair back from your face.

"My parents are getting divorced, and i thought i lost you because you lost interest in me-"

"Renjun I love you." You said hands caressing his cheek. "Why didn't you tell me about all this?"

"I didn't want to burden you, and I thought you'd get affected."

"Renjun, if it's bothering you and is a problem to you, it's my problem too." You said smiling at him.

"They've been fighting a lot lately, since i came here."  Renjun looked down at the floor. "I wasn't there to stop them."

"Renjun, its not your fault." You put your hand under his chin and made him look up at you. "It's not your fault. Don't blame yourself."

"But I should've been there and because of me you weren't able to complete your course on time, its all my fault."

Your boyfriend who was almost a head taller than you, suddenly seemed like a small lost child who you wanted to coddle and sing to. He looked so troubled and sad that your heart hurt. It wasn't his fault, he blames himself for everything.

You remember the time when you were cutting vegetables and got a slight cut, he blamed himself for it, saying that he knew that you dont know how to use a knife so he should've been the one cutting the vegetables.

He was harsh on himself and as much as you believed you could change it, you couldn't but you wanted to.

"Renjun, its not your fault that i didn't study, it's my fault. That's on me."

"If I hadn't stayed the nights, you'd be done."

"Renjun you stayed over the weekends, i always had weekdays but i ended up wasting them, it's on me." You explained to him.

"What about my parents? That's totally on me. I shouldn't have left them knowing how hostile they are towards each other."

"If they were hostile towards each other did you ever consider that they were both stressed together. They didn't want to be together Renjun."

He finally looked at you, eyes dejected.

"I want to break up with you."

"Why?"

"I'm nothing but a distraction to you."

"You are my driving force. You're like a miracle to me. I wish you could see that."  You connected your foreheads. "You're the person i look forward to each day, knowing you'll provide me comfort and that you'll be there to listen to me."

"And i wish i could show you how much i feel for you, It can't be expressed in words." You whispered, planting a small kiss on his cheek.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you what was going on and  for keeping you in the dark." Renjun said.

You nodded. "You're not gonna hear the end of it, they annoyed me so much over the phone about who'll keep the pearls and me." Renjun said. "Honestly, your mom deserves the pearls." You said looking into his eyes.

A small giggle came from his chest. "Yeah she does."

That's when the door opened and Jeno entered. "Renjun, its dirty here-"

"Oh hi Y/N!"  Jeno smiled and waved at you. Mark slowly pulled Jeno, "You're ruining their moment dude." Mark muttered under his breath.

All of you laughed and ate ramen for dinner, enjoying each others company.

"Renjun, Mark's girlfriend told me there's a room upstairs that's empty. I was thinking i should move in there." You said when he brought you to his room.

"Actually, i was about to ask you if you wanna move in together, Mark wants his girlfriend to shift downstairs, we can have the entire apartment to ourselves." Renjun smiled. "Plus my house is closer to our college."

"Yes, I'll move in with you."

New beginnings awaited you two, all full of happiness and sunshine with a few rainy days, but no storm lasts forever, all of them pass, and bring along sunshine again.

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