#so sorry if anyone actually reads this and its bad

[imustbenuts]

nuts reading trigun in japanese 6 - kaite's foreshadowing. plant synchronization's downside

remember in my part 3 and 5 i was talking about hierarchy? surprisingly, it continues past chapter 8 with kaite. and wolfwood. triangulating nyoom

(to be honest... ive been doing these read and analysis completely blind in a 1st JP read through. so its possible ill find new nuances, get things wrong as the context shifts and changes, so my stuff looks like its scattered all over the place. sorry about that.)

i think ill start explaining names and meanings. kaite's name in japanese is kaito. カイト. this can be a homonym with i think 怪盗 (kaitou) in this case, which means phantom thief. for trying to help Neon with stealing loot from the Stand Steamer.

left bubble next to neon: 道案内は的確だったかね！？ I trust your guide has been giving you clear instructions?

^the headaches with manga translations has always been to keep texts short and reasonable for flow and readability, so these simplifications can and sometimes must happen.

but, add dakutens, the " on 2 of those カイト katakanas and suddenly, kaito turns into. ガイド gaido. Guide.

so Kaite has been playing as a guide to lead vash to his death at the hands of Neon. this page is such a fucking whammy with the wordplay going on. if you just read this in japanese theres a moment of "oh shit, no way, Kaite, vash just told you to stop betraying people! what the hell!"

yet theres a level of trust going on already, so its not as bad as it seems

nightow really likes his worldplay. i really like this page.

kaite redeems himself by later charging into the boiler room and helps turn the valve to stop the sand steamer from running off cliff and killing everyone on board....

hm. a guide. and those sequences

we sure have a lot of guides here. one who appears in the manga later with a kansai dialect. and another in TriStamp, where he is younger than he appears.

when i spoke about hierarchy and the fact that vash is over 150, i was also kind of hinting that all of current humanity are akin to children in the system of JP hierarchy. that takes on extra meaning with a little change of context and language

wolfwood is filling in the shoes of kaito here in tristamp. and within trimax, kaito foreshadows him. incredible.

theres actually more going on with wolfwood and certain design/changes choices i wanna talk about with tristamp but ill save it for another day. maybe when i run into him in this read later

Plant Synchronization downside.

....so theres a bad downside to vash synchronizing with the plant that i didn't catch. which also answers what the fuck was going on in tristamp when that version of him hits the ground

nightow mentions this in an interview, link here posted and transcribed by xoxo-otome (thank you!) that he likes action flicks and has incorporated a lot of action into his work. and its true. there is so much action in the form of sound effects.

reading through the entire manga and paying attention to the sfx peppered around offers a lot more context to whats happening in half of the panels that seemingly doesnt make sense

like this one where the top panel has "DADADADADA" sfx. so they're stomping down the corridor with their guns crossed and facing each other. the "GO OH" in the bottom panel emphasizes the sudden burst into open air. unfortunately, anyone who values their life and sanity in this economy will not want to translate trigun's sfxs 100%.

i should have paid more attention when reading trigun in english. but i didn't so here i am. in the trigunbookclub tag now doing this.

why is it important? here. this. below. when vash does his plant thing with his sister:

see those heart panels? i tried searching real quick but nobody seems to have pointed this out. i havent seen this in EN fanfics. maybe i missed it. maybe im stupid:

thats Dokun, the sound effect of a heart thumping. as vash synchronizes, the heart panels with the same sound effect appear, but they gradually split apart further with ellipses "..." to signify his heart beat slowing down. and down. and down....

Dokun, do kun, do... kun....

then the wings comes out. and the panel below it:

sfx: PIIIIIIIIIII

breathes. a FLAT LINE.

aaaaaaAA?!

何かなんだかわかりません I'm not sure what's going on. とにかくプラントの動きは一切止まっています But the Plant's movement has completely stopped. 同時に男にも呼吸　心音ともに停止してます It's the same with that man. His breathing and heartbeat sounds like it's stopped with the plant too.

AAAAA?!!?! the も means vash is in the same state as the plant?

i.... um. um.,, ANYWAY-

AAAAAAAAAAAA?! HUH?! HUH??? HUH?!

is THIS why he has a metal grate over his heart? something happened and he an an operation on his heart???? by some engineer maybe? what? huh? am i reading this wrong? what? wait, hello? HEY!!!

what the fuck. okAY--?!

and then he just. pretends like nothing's happened. doesnt tell kaito anything. and he leaves the Sand Steamer.

and im going to have to sleep bc its 5 am now and pretend like i didnt just realize something this big right in front of my eyes during the first read.

[yung-goos]

Horizon | Prologue

"so... I've been meaning to tell you something”

The summer breeze was cool. A pleasant and welcoming feeling, as the day was still hot and humid, despite the sun going down. The lights of the city's skyline begun to bloom, like a line of tall Christmas trees in the distance. The bench they sat on still containing their names they etched-in when they found this spot in highschool, several miles from downtown off the coast of the lake that kissed the cities borders. This was their favourite spot. To hangout. To think. To reflect. To celebrate. To cry. It was one of the only consistent things that they both had throughout their lives.

"Uh huh..."

"I... know I've been gone for some time-"

"You think?"

"...and I know I have a lot of explaining to do"

"Oh really?"

"Look... it's easier if I just... show you"

With an unsteady motion, they lifted the sleeve of their hoody to the elbow, exposing their forearm, and held it out in front of them. And just like that, their skin started to glow. From the fingertips, down the back of their hand, down the wrists, slowly encroaching on the entire arm. The glow contrasting the blackness of their skin, like embers on coal, with a deep yellow-white light, a light many would describe as holy. The pupils and sclera of their eyes enveloped with the same holy light. They looked over to their friend to see them with their hand covering their eyes. The glow dimmed, then stopped all together, returning their skin and eyes to normal.

"Oh. My bad. Should've warned you..."

Silence. Only several seconds or so, but feeling like minutes in the moment. Their friend slowly lowering their hand, revealing a puzzled, yet curious, deeply scared, yet deeply amazed, mouth a little open kind of look on their face. It was hard to tell what they were thinking.

"What just..."

"Yea."

More silence.

"So this was what you were up to?"

"Heh. 'Up to' is one way of putting it"

Their friend then swiftly adjusting their position, turning to directly face them, with their legs crossed in their lap, the expression on their face suddenly becoming stern and serious.

"Everything. Now."

"Right."

And so, they gave them everything, from the last time they spoke. From the inconsistent eating habits, to the overall deterioration of their mental state. From the uneventful days, to yet another melancholic, sleepless night. From the streak of light that suddenly appeared from the sky and seemingly landing in their backyard. To them going to investigate and being greeted by a sphere of light that "just.... floated there". From them pacing back and forth wondering what they should do, "should I touch it?", to them actually touching it. From them describing an experience that would be akin to the likes of hell. The pain that felt like they were being separated cell by cell, atom by atom. Head, body, and limbs contorting to inhuman positions. Head twisting 180 degrees like an owl, ribs protruding and bending in different directions, but somehow not piercing the skin. Limbs bent backwards, sideways, in and out. Feeling so hot like they were being thrown into the face of the sun, yet feeling so cold like they were being submerged in the waters of Antarctica. Not being able to see anything but an empty vast white space of nothing. Wanting to scream the entire time but physically not being able to. From them waking up in the backyard to the morning sun on their face, their skin feeling all tingly. To them thinking if all of that was some bizarre dream, "maybe I started sleep walking or something I don't know". From them beginning to notice strange phenomena, like their light bulb that died and yet still turned on in their hands when they picked it up. To them being freaked out when their vision in the dark seemed to be clear as day when they focused hard enough.

"So that's what it is. Light, right? That's the power you possess?"

"Maybe. I think. Or perhaps energy"

"Energy.... Energy."

Their friend hanging on that word. Slowly saying it over and over to themselves, possibly savouring how that sounds, or thinking of the endless possibilities this power could hold.

"Also think I can't die"

"Wait, what?"

"Yea."

"But... wait... how would you kn-..."

Silence. Letting out a big sigh, they slumped over the bench and put their head in their hand, rubbing their temple with their forefingers and thumb. Their friend placing a hand on their back, gently rubbing it back and forth.

"Hun, why?"

"Just..."

Their head still in their hand, shaking it back and forth now,

"I.. didn't mention the voice"

"Voice?"

"Yea, as I was being skinned and turned inside out. I... wasn't sure if I was hearing it right. I couldn't see anything, that's for sure. It was just... this big empty room... a space... I don't know, a void of just pure whiteness. Stretching as far as I could see. And there was this... voice. It sounded like... I don't know, an alien trying to communicate in English. Like a bunch of incoherent words and syllables mish-mashed together, but if I paid enough attention I could make some sense of it ya know? And then, very clearly, I heard the voice say three things: convert. nine nine. survive."

"Convert, ninety nine, survive..."

"Yea. After I woke up, I was so confused and out of it I didn't think too much of it. But the more I thought about it, about all that happened, those words... the pain. Oh god. The pain. I cannot even begin to describe to you how it felt. God just. The pain. And then I started to think, is this what the voice meant? I'd have to survive this pain again at some point in time? Would it happen more than once? And just. God. I couldn't do that again. I can't do that again. So I just..."

Another sigh. Tears began swelling in their eyes. As they went to wipe them from their face, their friend pulled them in for a hug, using the palm of their hand to wipe the tears away

"Oh, hun."

That warmth. That sensual, intoxicating, tender warmth. The warmth that enveloped you and made you feel safe. The warmth that excited every sense, the warmth you couldn't just feel, but also hear, smell, taste, see. The warmth that many have lost themselves to just for the sake of experiencing it for just a moment. Love. It has been so long since they felt it.

"I'm... sorry I didn't keep in touch with you. I just didn't want you to see me like this. To hear all of this"

"Are you kidding? At the end of the day, my only concern was that you were okay. And like.. My best friend is a fucking superhero. With fucking super powers. Why wouldn't I want to hear about that?"

"Superhero?"

"Yea, what else would you do with all that going on? Be an accountant?"

They let out a laugh from the gut "Yea, maybe. Who knows? I could save the world from potential tax fraud"

"Well you're in luck cuz theres no shortage of fake bitches out here"

They lost themselves amongst the banter and the laughter, the sun finally laying itself to rest in the midst of it all. It was now dark, and being a little ways away from the nearest path with street lights, it was getting hard to see. The holy light once again enveloped their hand

"Come, I'll lead us back"

"Aww see, look at you using your powers for good already"

They couldn't help but crack a smile "Oh stop."

They headed back through the creek that leads to their special little spot, a trodden dirt path that was made overtime by other fellow adventurers trying to take a shortcut to the shore nearby. The cool summer breeze died down, replaced by the symphony of the night. The cacophony of crickets, the soothing rhythm of the stream, the percussion of the tree branches rustling above. It was oddly silent, though, between the two of them. They looked over to their friend, their friend's brows furrowed, face now deep in concentration, staring off into space as if they're looking for something in the air. Their eyes darting back and forth, clearly putting two and two together. About what, exactly?

"Hey, so.."

"What is it?"

"You said you don't die. So like, meaning you're immortal?"

"I... guess so, huh"

"But like... survive. What could an immortal possibly have to survive? You're immortal"

Both of them stopped in their tracks, looking at each other, waiting for the other to give a possible answer.

"So you get it, huh. It's what been at the back of my mind since I came to in my backyard. Though, If it's anything like the pain I had to endure I...I don't know what I might do"

Their friend, not being able to think of an answer either, shook their head and sighed. They continued on.

"Well, I don't know what it possibly could be, or what will happen next, but knowing that someone like you was chosen for this power makes me feel much safer already"

"Really?"

"Of course. Could you imagine anybody else getting this power? The world would be more fucked than we already are"

"Huh... guess you could be right"

"Oh please, you know I am. Just, whatever does happen, make sure you saving my ass first, okay?"

They chuckled, "Of course"

They smiled back, "You know, despite it all, something tells me there's so much good waiting for you over the

Horizon."

[justaz]

like i’ve said time and time again, i haven’t watched bbc merlin in years but i was just wondering when the first time merlin called arthur by his name to his face and im scrolling thru the transcripts on the fandom wiki (supposedly it was s1ep4 btw) and im skimming the script for all these episodes and getting angrier and angrier. gaius was wrong for all that. morgana deserved so much better. edwin muirden was valid as hell (for targeting uther AND gaius. yeah. i said it.). also kilgharrah ate with that one lil line “then turn a blind eye. that is, after all, your talent” okay lizard brain pop offff.

[kagoutiss]

green beetle black beetle

[can-of-slorgs]

The other researchers are also here! (magical edition!)

[hellonerf]

i love crazy contrasting 1p2p in every way(not every way). so i always subconsciously have 2P rusame be friends. unlikely friends etc. in whatever weird school au theyre friends. meri was probably bullied until he started hissing at other kids or something while rus2 was just like huhh okay yeah okay what fine. rus2 found him in a broom closet and it was as awkward as it sounds. in the weird stuckin1Pcoldwar au i have theyre friends also in the torturous existence. 1P rusame is too weird life is too short lets tomodachi✌️

[oceanwithouthermoon]

i think its weird that i have to make this disclaimer but the internet is crazy so wtvr,, anyway,,

if i say i dont like something, that doesnt mean "that thing is bad and nobody should post it.."

i swear literally every time i even mention that i dislike something, people will go "wow does that mean u fucking hate me cuz i post that thing? ur a fucking stupid bitch and all ur opinions r wrong" LIKE ?? er.. no. just because i say i dont like certain characterizations of certain characters (the saiki k fandom is CRAZY about this cuz i can state an opinion on literally any character and a group of people will still go 'well only we're allowed to post our opinions about them because we're always right!1!1!'), or certain ship tropes (mentioned my hatred of toxic yaoi maybe once or twice on here months ago and people STILL get mad at me as if i said toxic yaoi lovers r evil or something), or certain ships, or WHATEVER, does not mean that i HATE the people who are posting them or that i think they shouldnt post them at all, NO, im just posting about my personal tastes on my personal blog and it would be extremely weird and hypocritical if i decided that i was the ONLY person that was allowed to do that,,

i think the only reason people assume that is because there are a lot of other people on here who ARE like that, and a lot of people toe the line between posting that they dont like something and posting that they think everyone who likes that thing is stupid, annoying, and wrong,, so i guess all i can say is, sorry for whatever made you make these assumptions but they arent true about me so plz leave me alone ʘ‿ʘ ur doing the same thing to me that ur accusing me of but i didnt do it in the first place so ur just actively being a dick for no reason

[mokagachas]

As someone who knows nothing about Oberon but loves your art: where do I start if I want to understand your love for the man?

oh man. oh jeez ( wheezing ) haha okay. uhm. erhm. i didnt expect to get this far uhm ( shaking )

so here's the problem: oberon is from lostbelt 6, a chapter in hit gacha game fate/grand order. you can play f/go if you want and chug along to lb6 - which is unfortunately a chapter 6~ years into the game's main story. but i cannot with any sort of conscious recommend a gacha game to people.

so playing the game is one option. option two is checking out atlas academy database, a website that has all of fgo's stories and such conveniently catalogued! click 'main story' on the top of the page and it'll give you just, well, the main story.

if you want to watch the stories themselves - which at least for lostbelt 6 i highly recommend because the OST is amazing - there's also this commentary free LP on youtube that i've linked to people!

that being said that is still a lot of words to get to lostbelt 6, so- if you don't want to read everything pre-lostbelt 6, i recommend going to the typemoon wiki and reading the summary on each story pre lostbelt 6 ( so, up to lostbelt 5.5 ). just click on the link in each chart and you can find a detailed beat-by-beat summary of each chapter.

i've been told that, in all honesty, that lostbelt 6 is still enjoyable and easy to understand without full context for the outside story beats. it certainly reads like a fairly self-contained story outside a few things needed to understand why some characters are here in the first place, so i've been considering writing up a summary on just those key points / the premise to the lostbelts so that people can read that and then jump right into lostbelt 6 and love oberon...

hopefully this was helpful in any sense of the word heehe ... if you need clarification with anything feel free to send another ask !!!

lets all love oberon!!! lets all think about oberon!!!!!!

[anemonet]

oh my god thats so sweet of you!!!! thank you :DD also super sorry for deleting your ask btw

To get down to business well uh iterators huh, so I can tell you have read some of my ramblings before (very fun) and I will say in general I stand by those ideas - model differences and stuff - with some smaller changes here and there, for instance I made pebbles antennas stupidly long cause I think it looks funny - plus tons of tiny refinements, but generally I dont have too much to add unless theres something specific your wondering about - so I wont focus to much on that. Instead I'm gonna chat a bit about the other stuff you mentioned (NSH and wire headwear) ^-^ so heres the guys! (I'm gonna expand a bit on their design designs)

Ok so you have actully managed to point out something I really hoped no one would notice, which is that I never draw No Significant Harrasment (NSH) - who I hope you meant when you asked about sig, if not then dont look at me - and that is because I despise him with my whole heart. Or well, his design, the character is fine but I cannot draw this guy, I hate his colour scheme and his stupid little cape and why is his head symbols green on green - who allowed this - and in general we are not friends, which is a pity because I have alot of headcanons about him. But as you can see above I have semi settled on a design for him (note the semi, I am not super happy about it) and I do have some toughts and explanations.

So first of, I put NSH as being from the same model generation as suns - so predecessing moon and pebs by a bit - with older designs that have a larger focus on "religious stuff" combined with the anchients overall bonkers fashion sense - more is more - if you wanna read more about that its in this post about suns.

- I would also, this is a side note btw, like to mention I think having them being older models gives room to have some key differences between the oldies (NSH and suns) and the youngsters-ish (moon and pebs) in that one, they have older machinery and also early machinery which means both rougher quality and more wear and tear - which I like to think give them both the idea of slugcats as messangers earlier than most, as they knew their easily damaged functions (broadcast masts for example) would not last forever, which gives them a reason to want to solve it (by breeding scugs I guess) and added onto that I - and this is pure headcanon and speculation - like to imagine a lot of the "taboos" that pebbles and moon have - or well that I speculate they have, the no killing yourself or harming citizens taboo is confirmed canon, but I dont think its farfetched to asume they have other restrictions programmed - something that would most likely be added in later modles, but would be absent in the earlier ones like suns and NSH (not the earliest models but early) which theoreticly would give them a bit more leeway and "creative freedom", which ok why am I talking about this back to why NSH looks like that. -

Back to that, so suns and NSH will share design similarities: lack of face (to represent a lack of ego), lots of robes and layers, which leads us into the slightly more relevant sidenote of iterator clotheing:

So fashion comes and goes in cycles, your mom rebeled against her grandmothers clothing choises and is horrified when that fashion comes back via her daughter who think it looks cool again (20 year old rule or whatever) and that also applies to iterator design (look at that old suns ask for more info on this). So while I have talked about general trends a little, now I wanna talk about waistlines - in robes, because I have wanted an exscuse to talk about it, I be brief promise!

: so like you probably havent noticed all my iterators have different waistlines, or at least the ones from different generations - ignore moon, I'm a no robe for moon beliver, I like to draw joints and wires to much to give her robes - and I will sadly report I have not looked to closely at actual anchient fashion for the choises I made, but well cant have everything. So the most notable is probably pebbles, where I, ok Imostly fell for temptation of a modern highwaist cut, which while moslty being about my own tatse, also is an atempt to convey some form of "modernity" because while its a bright orange robe on a robot, it has a similar cut to highwaisted jeans. Which gives the silhoute from a couple years ago with a big bulky upper body and stick legs. But pebbles isnt intresting in that way, no its because every other design is a resistence against that.

And this again leads into the cycles of fashion. Because we know iterators were built under many cycles - however long those are - so we can asume it will be kinda like how fashion has changed from the 11th centrury to now. Which gives to reason that iterators have been dressed differently too. This added with that - from what I understood - different iterator cities (colonies) had different cultures (boradcast, red, in sky islands) all this then makes me kinda figure that the iterators should have different robes. Yes that was a long winded way to say that characters look different.

So back to waistlines and how their all anti pebbles robes - the most notable difference is of course suns, who has no waistline. They are not only without to create a bigger difference between them and pebbles, but to also lean a bit on - and this might not be the same for every culture - but on the general idea that older clothes were more "modest" or in this case, there are more layers and any hints of there being a body under there is desperatly covered. and that "modern clothes" have less layers and have show more skin - not that pebble is showing skin, but hes wearing one robe instead of seven. So with that the idea that suns is older is conveyed a little bit at least, and the same then applies to NSH. NSH while also having lots of layers, is different from suns by having an empire waistline, mostly because I think their cute and need them to look different, but also to give a hint that they have different city fashion cultures and also because when I see empire waists i think old paintins and old paintings=old.

-also while I'm on the subject of cultural differences between iterator facilities. Can we talk about how we only really get to see anchient society as its presented in moon and pebbles (shared?) facility. So really its very possible the whole aestetic is complelty different like five local groups away. Food for thought. -

So faceless and robe-rich is a similarity between suns and NSH, and I could mention many more, but I'm gonna restrain myself and only talk about headphones. As you can tell I - and most fanartist here - like to draw their antennas differently for all of them! which is also canon, but I also ignored canon so were gonna talk about it. Mostly the antennas give room for some fun mini details, like how moons look like wings or fins while suns are just sunbeams.

Anyhow so most people make NSH bald, me included, mostly because the super cool official art of him gives him no antennas (sad). I asume that means he works via bluetooth.

(I was about to start speculating about their headphones but that got to boring even for me so sorry if your super intrested in why iterators probably have headphones)

But I had a ulterior motive with bringing up the headphones - and not only to be able to point out moons antenna, which I delight in drawing - but also so that I can transition into the second part of this way to long response! itertors hairdos... wire-dos? basicly this \/

(im reusing my wip because these are a pain to draw so we use what we have - I coloured them in a bit for better oversight.)

(also I was gonna start talking about if iterators would actully do personalisations like this - as we can argue about if they concepulize themself as their puppets and see a meaning to decorating them - I would argue yes but also its complicated- and also explain how iterators have different prefernces, which I realised most people probably already asume so I didnt need to explain that - anyhow so that got to long so I'm not gonna get into it. Instead were gonna go into this section with the assumptions that they do fun things with their wires. and also that the wires connect to their nape and backhead instead of their back or spine.)

So to me th biggest thing to remember when we talk about potetial wire headwear is that:

- iterators live 24/7 without gravity and because of that cannot be bothered by to heavy headwear, therefore theres rooms for them and anchients (and me) to get funky with it without having to concider gravity.

-anchients wore absurdly many decorations - and while giving iterators flashy decorations does take away from my earlier statement that they were based on more humble monk stuff, we are going to asume they used the fancy headwear for cermonies and festivals (which we also know anchients did) and that it was used for showcasing and fun. If some iterators preffered to keep them afterwards is another query.

So with that in mind lets break these headwear thingies down!! :D

so as you can (hopefully) tell there three components in the headwear. The headphones that are different depending on iterator and are not removable (or as unremovable a computer part can be). Then theres the actual headpieces that keeps the wires togheter. These can be switched out and changed depending on whats preffered - also I drew them in gold but any material works, if were being closer to canon they would probably be made of some purposed organism and maybe be neon pink - theres also pearls dangling from them because its a perfect opertunity. Third theres probably the part I think is the most fun which is the actual wires. They obviously go through the headpieces and then are set free via wiretassles (that also comes in different forms) and after that is where my own speculations about wires comes in. Which is really simple in that iterators can most probably move the wires at will - they can control their arm thing, pearls and other objects in their chambers, reasonably they can move the wires - and I think its fun if different iterators move them differently. Like suns keeps them straight and neat, or pebbles moves them in syncronized formations or moon who just lets them hang, so many oppertunities ok ( you can see the general idea in the drawing). The wires then connect to their movement arms and connect to the mainframe.

And thats kinda about it? I dont have like anything super intresting to say about just the hairdos other than that I think its very fun and also that everyone is sleeping on wire customizations I am obbsessed with the idea send help.

Ok I think I'm done chatting!! Hope your still here and that this wasnt insufferable to read. Uh, thanks for the ask :D

(NSH for your enjoyment)

[gurenkurosen]

ohh i think im coming to a bit of a realization actually as to why mmos are so scary when im forced to party

[l0rd-0f-c0ws]

I frequently feel completely isolated no matter how much I talk to people. So that's fun

[activesplooger]

are you ever j like so busy and stressed that you just wanna collapse on ur bed and die? bc same

[5-htreuptakeinhibitor]

i am genuinely so crazyyyy about lbruuuuu.... like Genuinely Genuinely. its pretty bad guise

[flyingspicerack]

*peeks out from the rock i was hiding under* ... hi

[turigirl]

ive decided i shall just Not sleep

[mbat]

okay, im gonna say something and i dont know if itll make sense to anyone but me but. us finally getting to see angel crowley as compared to current crowley... it reminds me of trauma

i mean, angel crowley was so expressive and full of joy and life, like nothing could go wrong!

and current crowley is stoic, sarcastic, jaded. its hard to believe theyre the same person, though even that part is up to debate depending on what you think about crowleys memories

and it makes me think of me and others ive known whove gone through stuff and how much it changes you as a person, and it makes me wonder just what the fall was like. i mean, at the very least it was an utter betrayal and terrifying, right? life changing, most of all to someone like crowley whos only """wrongdoing""" was asking questions, and not even bad ones.

i dont really have a point, im just sad. like, obviously we all love crowley in any form and such but its like... wow, he used to be so beyond happy and now a real smile from him is rare, and universe knows he likely will never smile the same way he used to ever again. all of this for asking questions.

plus like, the way that he just keeps getting reminded of it in every single way, especially the way that people from above and below wont just leave him alone to live his life.

it also makes me think of that whole last thing with him and zira. he didnt want the fate of a demon but sure as hell he isnt going to return to being an angel after what they did to him. i wonder if aziraphale even knows what it was like. has he ever asked? would crowley even actually answer?