#I have never been wrong abt someone having adhd

[none-tadashi-left-hiro]

Is my toxic trait psychoanalyzing other people and thinking I’m the exception because I’m actually soooo observant and aware of the signs

[celaenaeiln]

it’s a me a 12 am anon . my girlfriend and i had a discussion abt how odd it is that the fandom views and stereotypes the batfam like

dick is romanian and has more fem related traits and somehow it translates into him being a dumb womanizer or just an annoying mother hen?

jason grew up in the streets, i think its popular to hc him as hispanic? idk but jts odd how ppl do that and also think hes an angry heartless brute

cass gets that “badass asian dragon lady” archetype (tbh im not sure what it is but my gf is passionate abt it so like im confident she’s right)

tim?? somehow ive seen wasian hcs for him but the boy is autistic right? somehow a stereotype i see for him is like “weird and socially awkward but super smart” which . i dont think thats right .

steph is adhd right? i think? also falls into the dumb “waffles r my only personality trait” stereotype and uts just a tiny bit odd dyou see it?

damian (and by extension talia) gets done dirty a lot i think i dont .yeah

nyways sorry its been a while <3 would llve to hear ur thoughts n opinions

hey again!!

Batfam fanon is...not great. And it's things like this that remind me why I kinda avoided this fandom until I couldn't.

Dick

Dick is Romani and is canonically more feminized but the dumb womanizer thing is really getting on my nerves. First of all, he's one of the smartest characters, ever. The comforting thing about Dick is that he never loses.

The reason I love reading Dick Grayson runs is because I can read about his thought process, the way he analyzes, how he single-handedly solves crime like it's nothing.

Batman (1940) Issue #703

Secondly he's not a womanizer. He literally has a mental break down at the thought of dating or even kissing someone he isn't in love with. He's never, ever, ever going to sleep with someone he doesn't have atleast some level of romantic attraction to because he feels it's inherently wrong and canonically frowns upon that behavior when others do it.

The mother hen thing - I gotta admit is kinda accurate. He really loves his family and friends and takes care of them really well. He always makes time to sit and listen to all of them with all their problems and helps them solve it so that's fine.

Jason

The hispanic thing - what the actual heck. Literally why? Jason's "hispanic" fanon background along with Tim's "asian" background comes from a wider problem where society has become disillusioned by the same ethnicity for all characters and wants for diversity and representation in the media. I actually do believe in greater representation but not here. When people make Jason hispanic due to his street backstory, they're attempting to diversify canonically white characters but accidentally reinforcing and perpetrating damaging stereotypes about particular ethnicities. Because his background has drugs, poverty, and crime - you want Jason to be Latino? Can you possibly make things worse? And Jason being an angry heartless brute. Not even adding to the stereotype, Jason was not like that. Jason originally started off as troubled but excited kid. He was happy about fighting criminals and having a home and getting food. As he grew older, the more criminals he fought, he came to a realization that people weren't going to change which is when he started getting more violent and angry with them. He didn't do it because he was some sort of psychopath, it's because he cared a lot about the effects these criminals were having on innocent people. Because he can relate. His anger has nothing to do with his supposed "hispanic" background which is still - ?!?!? Why is this even a thing.

Cass

I don't really have anything to say about Cass being that archetype because tbh I kinda think of her like that too. She's exceptionally good at fighting, she's chinese, and she's the strong and silent type. I'd love to hear more about what your gf thinks about it though.

Tim

Again about Tim being Asian. No where near as damaging as Jason being classified Hispanic but also why? He's asian because he's smart? Because he's good at computers? C'mon the stereotype is boring. Isn't it exciting when you watch a movie or show and the Indian guy isn't an IT specialist? Or when the Chinese girl has neon highlights and loves partying? Or when the Japanese girl is rocking combat boots? The best way to appreciate diversity is actually letting ethnic characters have diverse personalities and talents. On a side note, there is not nearly enough celebration of already canonically diverse characters like Roy's navajo heritage or Jessica Cruz's latina one. Isn't it ironic how we're making racialized characters based on stereotypes because we believe there should be more diversity but ignoring canonically ethnic ones. Literally noone talks about Cass connecting to her Chinese side or the fact that she has dyslexia but we're readily jumping on the Asian Tim Drake train.

Autistic Tim Drake I can see where they're coming from because Tim sometimes has a hard time connecting to people. Like he sometimes misses social cues. And to be fair this theory actually has more credibility than some other ones because I don't know if I'd pass that off as awkwardness. But it also may be due to lack of human interaction. Tim's parents left him alone for long periods of time which he gleefully used to track robin and batman at night. I don't have a problem with this one because Tim may actually be inadvertently written as autistic at times so I guess it wouldn't be that far off canon.

Steph

People with ADHD are typically impulsive, don't focus on one thing for too long, and have a lot of energy which is very much like Steph.

Batgirl (2009) Issue #10

But mostly she just has a sense of humor. Which - like the case with Dick - because of course people can't be multifaceted, fandom generally takes for stupidity.

She's not dumb, she's just fun. I guess the waffle thing is because of human beings' pathological need to classify everything into categories and fanon likes to run with dumb blonde for Stephanie which really ticks me off. People can not be a gloomy avenger and still be smart. She solves her crimes and has a laugh while doing it and still pulling off the -

Batgirl (2009) Issue #12

Damian

Where do I start. What is even happening to him? Not in fandom necessarily but canon. What is DC doing???

[puzzled-pegasus]

Social norm things I hate an irrational amount as an adhd person

Meals. The fact that there's so many rules for an activity that should really just be about putting stuff in my face so my body can continue carrying out its functions.

Like how im socially not allowed to eat until anyone else has their food?? F that shit. We know there's gonna be enough to go around. If u are so hungry that you can't stand to watch someone else start eating then u should have gotten ur plate faster idk what to tell you

Also eating is supposed to be social?? Not sure abt you but I feel like it's a solitary activity. Id like to eat by myself because Ive never been able to fully grasp table manners and would rather not be a heathen in front of people why is that rude

The fact that u cant tell someone to just leave u alone unless they did something wrong. Bro I have an hour between being done with chores and bedtime and youre gonna waste half of it by lingering near me so I can't watch my show without judgement

Apparently there's a way you're supposed to end a conversation besides just walking away whrn you're done talking. I haven't figured out when that is yet and I don't plan on it

Wtf do you mean an apology over text doesn't mean anything. They're just words aren't they. Why do you care. If i say it over text and don't do it again is that not valid

You're not supposed to say anything to people in public who are already having a conversation. If it's a private conversation why are you talking in public. Not even like gossip or provate info like ppl will be talking about if it's supposed to rain on Saturday and youll be like "yeah I think it will" and they'll look at u like you just shot them in the leg

If you find a common interest you have with someone apparently you're not supposed to talk about only that with them? Like if I find out u like dogs and we talk about them and then you're like "why do you only talk about dogs" bitch wtf else is there, im not gonna talk about something you dont care about 😭 but I guess you get bored either way so where's the winning

[chickpea0]

u were so right abt puppyre jesse pinkman maybe u could do a puppy jesse moodboard!!! :3

Folks, I present: Jesse Pupman

Thank you very much for requesting this, I had a lot of fun lol. Jesse is such a good character and I love him to bits. I'm also submitting this to the petre/animalre contest that @theregressionlibrary is doing! Yay! Hcs below the cut :>

For starters I think he would unconciounsly resonate with working/obediant breeds. He really does want to be well-behaved and play by the rules but that's never worked out for him (caugh undiagnosed ADHD/ASD cough). He's a natural follower probably partly because he's been taught that he's always 'wrong' by so many figures in his life, though he can lead quite well when it's called for but he doesn't see himself as a leader. I think he usually gravitates to collie, alsation, shiba, jack russel types but he doesn't really care about breeds.

Doesn't really remember when it all started but he became very aware of it once Walt reentered his life. He had it rough before but good gravy.

He's often in a constant state of survival which doesn't let him slip or be any kinds of vulnerable until he feels safe. But to a certain point his brain just gets overloaded and does a force shut down, leading him to go pretty deep into doggy mode.

It's a big mix of comfort, stress, turmoil and dissociation but it does help him get through things, even if Jesse is a bit ashamed of it. He does quite like it when he can enjoy it though. I truly believe with an outlet/coping mechanism as strong as this, he could have escaped a lot of the show lmfao.

Alternative timeline: he embraces his regression, moves to "Oregon or whatever", starts a new life, does a lot of self disovery and maybe even meets a caregiver/guardian figure.

Still a lot of angst from his journey so far but he's like, safe. Yo.

I do think he would benefit from finding someone really caring though, and open minded. It'd do a lot of good for him to be able to meet someone who doesn't riducule him and instead forms a healthy, balanced bond with him.

And who buys him puppy chew toys (because those ones are softer on teeth)

btw when he's puppymode he has the biggest most expressive puppy eyes. if you care.

[divider]

[septimus-heap]

Agh this depression thing is so annoying. I don't really want to die I just hate existing in the world. U know. Like if the circumstances suddenly changed and things were good I'd be fine. I might not finish my A levels this year so I'll have to find something else to do (if I don't get kicked out of the house, at which point I'll almost definitely just kill myself) which means I'll be stuck here in this house for 1 or 2 years longer and I know I've been saying for years that idk if I can handle being here 1 more year but aghhhh idk if I can handle that!!!!!!! I just want to be somewhere else!!!!!!!!!!!!! Unfortunately to do that I need money so I need my A levels so I can go to uni to get a degree or some shit so I can get a job so I can be financially stable so I never have to come back here. I hate it here so much. I go to college I sit in class I forget everything I learned immediately I want to revise but I can't make myself sit down and do it (and I don't know how to revise even if I Could do that). I talk to people and I feel like they don't want me here. I make a social blunder 10 times in a row. At least with online friends I can be fairly certain they're talking to me bc they want to be bc we're not just like. Stuck in the same space together for hours at a time. I think about applying for a job somewhere but idk how to do that and no one will help me. I think abt how this might be easier if I could figure out what's wrong with me (adhd?? Ocd????? Obviously anxiety. But idk) but i can't rlly even try to get a diagnosis if anything until im 18 and then the waiting list is minimum 2 years and even THEN I have to consider if it'll help or just make things worse. I want to transition but I'm in the uk and I live with my parents. I want to leave the country but idk what countries r better for trans rights. I want to talk to someone but I also don't bc I don't want to be guilt trippy by accident. I want a hug but I don't want to ask any irl ppl I know bc I feel like I don't know them that well and also I think I might cry. How do I just fast forward my life to like 2030

[charliespringverse]

iwbft – ghosted: a Bonus brief summary of my annotations

all highlighted quotes: 91

· ouch/ow/owie: 5

· real/felt/relatable/so true: 4

· ☹/☹☹/☹☹☹: 4

She said Shrek and Fiona, and then told me she never wanted to be famous. — the double life thing babeyy

“Jimmy,” he heaves out, and I feel a stab of panic in my chest. — just hearing ur friend's name shouldn't be enough to trigger panic unless u already know something is Very Wrong . at which point i feel they should've pushed for further help instead of finishing out the tour

“We can’t leave Jimmy out.” Lister stands shirtless in the middle of the room and spins around on the spot. — fuck yeah trio tingz :')

It almost makes me laugh how polite and casual Rowan manages to sound, despite the fact that our best friend is missing. — IT'S A DEFENCE MECHANISM!!!!!

I only wonder how much of it is my fault. — none of it bb dw :( he is Not With It enough to be thinking abt anyone but himself rn

“But I can’t drive.” Rowan stares at me. “I thought you had lessons.” “I only had three lessons.” And then I got bored, or tired, or busy, or all three. — ... adhd lister btw

Why would he do this to us? To me? — i think jimmy's dependence on rowan is more reciprocated than he realises

If we weren’t in a famous band together, I’m not sure whether we’d still be friends now. — this rly hurts my feelings and it hurts more bc he isn't necessarily Wrong i don't think

“You do know I can play eight instruments, right?” “But not the drums, huh.” Rowan folds his arms. “You will never let me live that down.” — LISTERROWAN BESTIEISM BANTER BABEY

“But you think I’m an idiot who has nothing intelligent to say.” “I don’t think that.” “Yeah, you do. You’d much rather I was the one who was missing right now.” Rowan doesn’t respond. We both know I’m right. — WELL MAYBE BUT U DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME THAT. I DON'T WANNA THINK ABOUT IT.

“I wish you wouldn’t—” he begins but is cut off when his phone buzzes. — i hate that the phone gave him a get out from being open n sincere w lister :^(

“That’s a Southeastern Railway train,” says Lister instantly. “You can tell by the seat patterns.” — [freddie mercury voice] auuuuutism auuuuutism i want to ride my autism (note: this is summat @to-grill-a-mockingbird says and now i can never get it out of my head)

“He needs a night off.” "A night off from … what? His entire life?” Piero chuckles. “Yes.” — i mean ouch but also Yeah

“That was good news. He hasn’t been kidnapped. He just needed a nap.” “Can you not make a joke about this situation for like one fucking minute, Allister?” — could be the tism on my end but i didn't take this as a joke . jimmy needs a break, piero told them that, lister has seen enough to agree . (also: lister has Also contemplated running away so it makes sense he's less eager to bring jimmy back to ldn bc he doesn't see it as fixing the problem the same way rowan does)

Why do I always have to be the serious one? The worrier? Why can’t someone else do the worrying sometimes? — other ppl Do worry . but not so much that it becomes its own problem worthy of therapy

We save the deep chats for Jimmy. Jimmy doesn’t open up very often, but you know Jimmy will listen if you have something serious to say. — vs jimmy's wednesday narration 'we don't ever talk about deep stuff, me and lister bird' :((((

This whole bedroom is something out of twelve-year-old Lister’s wildest fantasies—it’s spacious and modern, with one floor-to-ceiling window, dark walls, LED lights behind the headboard, and a fifty-inch TV. — what u lack as a child you seek as an adult etc etc (space, material possessions, money)

Rowan’s room is always tidy. He puts away his clothes at the end of the day and makes his bed in the mornings. — always craving order & control :(

Rowan loves to criticize me about buying unnecessary things, but all I need to do is remind him of the velvet chaise longue in his bedroom that I’m pretty sure nobody has ever sat on. — comedy gold amidst the agony

He blinks at me. “You remembered my weird order?” — remembering ppl's orders is a love language

“Can I … ?” I shuffle on my feet. “Can we eat it in here?” — i hate that he's so uncertain n lacking in confidence while asking one of his best friends

I’ve always been deeply annoyed by what a high metabolism he has. I work out three times a week with a personal trainer just to stay toned. — rowan's fixation on body image makes me ✨nervous✨

“You were reading?” I ask, eyebrow raised. Lister narrows his eyes at me. “Wow, hilarious." — i stand by my 'lister loves to read but nobody ever assumes that or believes him bc their perception is skewed by him not gelling with academia' hc

“But don’t you see how that’s, like, still very fucked-up behavior, Rowan?” — GET HER JADE

And it’s scary that he thinks he’s completely fine. That this level of stress is normal. That he’s a functioning, well-adjusted human who is able to cope with being one of the most famous musicians in the world with absolutely no help or support whatsoever. — yeah :((

“You kissed him,” Rowan says. “So he decided to climb out of a window and run away.” “I mean, yeah, in summary.” — but no, realistically

Rowan wipes a tear from his eye. “Oh my God. So funny.” He’s properly pissing me off now. — give him a break roseph he's already mentally ill u don't have to embarrass him as well (/lh)

It’s a question I’ve asked myself every day for years. A question I’ve answered in daydreams, in nightmares, in conversations with myself in the shower. A question I still don’t know the answer to, and maybe never will. A question that doesn’t need an answer, now that I know for sure that Jimmy doesn’t like me back. — aaaaaagonyyyyy beyond power of speeeeeeech when the thing that u want is the only thing out of ur reach

“But … the circumstances of our relationship are so challenging. We live in very, very different worlds, and our lives are on very different trajectories. And sometimes I think relationships just can’t survive that.” — JUSTICE FOR LAIMONDI :(

Jimmy fell asleep almost immediately, a feat that would become less and less common as we all got older, but Lister and I couldn’t sleep because we were too busy watching funny YouTube videos on my phone, muffling laughs into our hands, trying not to wake anyone up. — BABY ARK MY CHILDREN

[audhd-nightwing]

more of the werewolf!stobin and vampire!edancy au bc they’re rotting my brain

- honestly i love the idea of eddie and nancy being friends

- eddie is actually very smart, he just has ADHD and has trouble focusing and doing schoolwork. nancy is the opposite, she fixates on doing well in school and often ends up overworking herself (also ADHD)

- so they help each other out; nancy helps eddie study and get his work done and eddie helps nancy learn to take breaks and relax

- plus i think nancy would be really grateful to eddie for taking mike under his wing when he needed someone who understood him (after will left) and nancy couldn’t do that for him

- steve being a werewolf is a very closely guarded secret (bc his mom finds it ‘unseemly’ and she has a reputation to uphold) so initially no one else knows

(btw vampires are seen as graceful and beautiful but deadly creatures, most of which are well-mannered and have no chance of attacking humans / while werewolves are seen as violent and aggressive and are often ostracized by humans and vampires alike)

- stancy starts dating, steve falls in love, nancy does not. eventually steve tells nancy he’s a werewolf and she’s like “ok cool but since we’re confessing stuff i’m actually not into you sorry” and he’s a bit heartbroken but he gets over it, they breakup and become good friends

- enter dustin henderson, a young satyr who runs into steve on the night of a full moon and that his wolf takes a liking to (aka that’s his little brother now). steve wakes up at the henderson’s home and dustin explains what happened. mrs henderson (who decided the moment she saw wolfy!steve carrying dustin on his back and beaming that she was going to adopt him) is also there and already has breakfast ready with a plate for steve

- eventually steve meets max lucas el and will (he’s already met mike bc of nancy but they tend to avoid each other) and his wolf decides they’re his little siblings too

(ps mike is a vampire, dustin is a satyr, max is part kitsune, will is half-druid, lucas is a werebear (yes that’s a thing) and el is part fae)

- after a bit of time steve tells them abt being a werewolf and they’re all like “oh cool. anyway” and steve smiles and shakes his head bc he loves these little shits so much

- eventually a rogue werewolf ends up in Hawkins and while steve is patrolling with hopper one night they end up finding a just-bitten robin who passed out from the pain. steve stays with robin while hop goes after the feral wolf

- steve’s wolf instincts are screaming at him “yes, keep this one. we like them. we will protect them” and he’s like yeah okay they’re kinda my responsibility anyway

- so robin wakes up on the couch at hoppers cabin with steve harrington on the floor beside her and promptly freaks out. steve explains everything to her (after she screams at him a bit a lot) and helps her through a panic attack afterwards (bc finding out you’ve been turned into a werewolf is A Lot, okay?)

- anyway, they become best friends like instantly, their wolves are super in sync and at first steve thinks he Likes robin and decides to tell her. she’s like “mmmm explain how you feel abt me” and he does and she just looks at him and gently asks “you’ve never had a genuine best friend before, have you?” and steve’s like “oh” but then robin grins and assures him “i’m proud to be your first- no wait that sounds wrong” and they collapse into giggles

(later they have a talk about Feelings and robin comes out and steve realizes maybe some of the feelings he had about tommy h and jonathan byers weren’t exactly platonic)

- then: eddie waltzes into their lives!!

(eddie was turned a few years back and went to live with wayne, keeping his ID on the downlow bc some humans (for example: his dad) are still shitty to non-humans and he didn’t want to put wayne through that)

- eddie ends up meeting nancy in one of their classes or smth, she notices he’s similar to steve in the way he can’t seem to focus in class and decides to ask if he wants to study together

- eddie’s surprised but agrees and they end up getting along really well

- when eddie realizes she’s a vampire (he knows he’s oblivious shut up) he tells her he’s one too and they become even closer

- eventually nancy decides to introduce eddie to steve and robin (who she’s gotten a lot closer to after jonathan moved) and they all get along super well

(sidenote: jonathan is also half-druid, joyce is fully druid, and hopper is human but fully an ally to non-humans)

(sidenote 2: jancy happened but broke up a while before the byers moved and were still best friends. steve and robin are besties and are friends with nancy but become best friends with her after jonathan moves away. eddie also becomes nancy’s best friend and eventually steve and robin’s too)

(sidenote 3: jargyle!! ronance!! steddie!! byler!! lumax!! jopper!!)

[lewisvinga]

I am so glad that I’m not the only one who is pissed off with the Carlos fans. I literally have been so afraid to speak out about it because they are literally crazy. They will attack you just because you said Carlos hair doesn’t look fluffy. I thought that the Italian men who were fans of Charles Leclerc Were wild, but the Carlos fans are even crazier. Like, Ferrari is not going to regret giving you Carlos up. It’s a team, and this is a competitive sport. They do this so often that they are used to people leaving the team and going to win somewhere else.

They’re not going to specifically beg Carlos to say just because he’s won twice and one of those wins were practically handed to him due to Max’s car. just because he won once fair and square and the other one was practically given to him on a silver platter, doesn’t mean that Ferrari is going to cry and get on their hands and knees, and beg for him to stay just because he won.

No wonder people call the tifosi the most delusional, fan base. And those saying people who are crying about Carlos leaving and saying they’re going to regret it and stuff are the same people who call Lewis Hamilton crymilton 😭

Like, I really like Carlos and Charles, but their fanbase makes me want to hate them. Same thing with the Daniel Ricciardo fans. I remember someone telling you about the racism and hatred Yuki was facing after Bahrain. I remember someone telling you about how the stands were acting like Daniel has never done anything wrong in his entire life.

Both men are extremely beautiful and talented, but their fans make people hate the drivers themselves. People say that, “if you were a real fan, you wouldn’t let the fans put you off.”

How are you supposed to not be affected by the fans when they are being so toxic? When they ruin the entire experience for you? Make it make sense

Sometimes I wish I didn’t have ADHD in autism because when I hyper focus on something, I cannot get out of it no matter how hard I try

And rn that’s f1 😭

you explained it PERFECTLY😭😭😭😭

like i really like carlos, don’t get me wrong that’s a fellow madridista 🤞 but the carlos fans saying that ferrari is gonna regret it after he what?? won 2 races only because red bulls car wasn’t working?

he’s talented don’t get me wrong, but if anyone else was starting right behind max would’ve won the race , ( anyone with a good car that is bc we all know merc is shitty asf rn but i think charles or the mclarens could’ve won🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️)

same w daniel fans, i saw so many ppl being racist to yuki over bahrain on twt n it was insane

like they’re attractive and have showcased their talents before, but damn some fans make me so annoyed 😭😭

f1 feels like a kpop fandom icl, bc stg on f1twt you can’t criticize ANYONE but on fbtwt everyone gets criticized for anything even the best players but no one gets as upset as f1twt

(although some criticisms on fbtwt are just wrong bc ppl do tend to get racist but saying a player has been in a bad spot doesn’t get ppl upset like saying something slightly negative abt drivers 😭)

[hot-girls-favorite-is-daniel]

Me when I realize I only mentally made friends with someone and haven’t actaully ever even talked to them and that inside joke isn’t actually annide joke because Ei never said it to them and we need to be a level 4 friend also I’m sad and I would like you to know also is it concerning how little motivation I have and how it took me months to finish a drawing and I have a long list of things I’ve been wanting to do for actaul months but didn’t bc I’m a hoe like that, anyway my evaluation had been postponed so no I’m not sure what’s wrong with me , but they said I probably very mudhv have adhd and axiety but tbh I haven’t really felt bad feelings as extreme as I used to the last 2 or 3 ish months, like I used to be so empathetic but now I can just say womp womp cry abt it couldn’t be me and move on :|

[st5lker]

super long post sorry i just upped my dose of vyvanse so i have a lot to say. anyways one strange phenomenon i find on tumblr although it really shouldnt be surprising by now i suppose is the fact that people seem to believe that everything has an objective answer. and like yeah of course this is the Nuance is Dead website but its still strange to me like ive been making many polls recently on things im genuinely curious to see differing opinions on, because theyre on inherently divisive topics that i really dont believe there's any "right" answer to (the 'is it weird when gay people sexually fantasize about converting straight people' being the biggest one but also that one i just made abt adhd and autism), but the replies to a lot of those polls have people seeming to talk as if there are objective measurable ways to prove a 'right' and 'wrong' answer on topics that ultimately dont affect all that much. questions like that will always have different reactions from different people, even people who generally agree on most big topics, because everyones life experiences and individual opinions will give them different reactions and morals to minute topics like that and its not like you can make legislation or policy about something like that no matter how strongly people might feel in one direction or the other so it ultimately comes down to your own opinion/sense of morals and curating your own experiences.

but people seem to speak about everything as if its another "should you be conservative or not" where the "difference of opinion" is basically whether or not you can recognize easily proved facts or if just straight up do not want minorities to have rights. and the consequences of having the wrong opinion result in real and tangible actions with massive impact (legislation). i think people got so exhausted about people treating issues like that as if they're "ambiguous" when there's a really obvious answer for everyone that isnt a bigot that they started seeing every single issue as if there must be a "correct" answer as well, but the reality is that for the vast vast majority of things there isnt anywhere close to an objective answer, even within the popular leftist moral compass.

there is no "correct" answer to lgbt discourse. yes even that discourse that youre thinking of right now. there is no "correct" answer to the morality of liking some media, or having some sexual fantasy. like, when it comes to things that i and all of my friends feel very strongly about, like some of those fantasies or lgbt discourse, i can and will shame or judge or debate or distance myself from people who disagree with me, because i have every right to. recognizing that morality is subjective doesnt mean i can't care. it just doesnt mean i think im objectively "correct". im going off of my own sense of morality, yknow? which is fine! we don't really have any choice but to do that in order to make progress. but i still AM doing that and i can recognize that because i think its important to, and doesnt undermine my own morals.

so i suppose its just a bit strange to me when people act like theres objective answers on things like that when like, you can never objectively prove morality because it's inherently subjective. even the basic question of "do you want to help or harm other human beings" gets muddied, because for as much as it might seem evil (and i honestly think it's evil as well), someone can truly and earnestly define "morality" as a based on helping yourself first and alone with no regard to other humans. i think everyone has every right to not want to associate with people who have certain opinions/do certain things, or even to associate with people who associate with them. its extremely easy to curate who you associate with in this day and age. but its still extremely strange to me when people talk about morality as if it is objective. i understand why, i do, i'm not really criticizing anyone for it especially since this is all about how things are worded and you cant always be like 'but remember this is subjective!' in every argument so i get it. but i think if you're reading this and realizing that you haven't been thinking of morality as subjective, it might be time to start. not because i want to defend anyone, really, but because understanding and recognizing that morality is subjective is a prerequisite to being able to change other people's minds and move the world towards your own sense of morality

[spicycoffeebean]

If you don't want to answer that's COMPLETELY fine and you can ignore this entirely, but if your comfort zone permits: I happened across your tag and am. curious how someone could use reddit to try and get someone to detransition. Like, do you mean she made a post about it to get people agreeing with her or??

Hi Anon! I'll be honest and say I'm glad somebody took notice enough to actually ask. Because I still refuse to believe it happened.

No! She did not make a Reddit post. She just sent me several posts from r/detrans to get me to detransition.

More below the cut! Idk how long this will be, but cw for transphobia and all around shitty/questionable behavior

For those who don't know (I can't track down the post, but I commented in tags) my own mother (60) has been very actively against my transition (ftm) since I began taking testosterone in November 2021(I have been openly trans and using he/him prns since 2018, so it's not like any of this was "new" information to her) On top of blatant misinformation, my mom tried to source REDDIT, the detransitioner's subreddit to prove that yes, people do detransition. Never once denied her that. My issue here is that no, she did not make a post, she was ~browsing~ the detransitioner subreddit r/detrans to push me to detransition. She was "sourcing" it (I wanna say she said in the same conversation that she doesn't trust sites that have LGBTQ+ flags despite the statistics being very real and very present. I'm an analytics/statistics student.)

I have a million issues with this, but very simply, she is using people's struggles and real trauma to fuel a transphobic agenda to get me to detransition (I was so much happier when I chose to be openly trans let alone when I actually started T last year.) If you actually read the subreddit, 99% of those stories are OP saying "Transitioning did not work for me" but not once do they denounce transitioning. They make it clear that their experiences with it did not work out.

“I talk to detransitioners all of the time” she said “Why don’t you talk to a real trans person?” I asked her “Because I know their story.” is what she said word for word Bitch I’m trans and I don’t know trans people’s stories. I just am trans?? I made it super easy for her. Talk to a doctor or a real trans person. She makes any excuse to NOT DO THIS. A cisgender doctor in California will tell you that you are out right wrong and doing more harm than any good you might see from it.

Less than 1% of people detransition, and the majority of those who detransition ARE STILL UNHAPPY. Even then a handful of people detransition because of society, family, or something simple as healthcare. People are denied healthcare because doctors don't want to provide basic care to a transgender person. (I live in the US where this practice would be illegal) My mother acts like I myself deny that people detransition while she literally won't acknowledge WHY people detransition at all. LGBT clinics are apparently shutting down in the UK, Norway, Sweden etc. Yeah cool cisgender people are losing healthcare too. But apparently that doesn't matter. My brother's(cis) bisexual and he could be denied care if he lived in such a place. I don't think she'd take kindly to that, knowing she was the most supportive when my brother came out well over 10 years ago.

I do not want my story or trauma to be used as fuel for a fire to hurt somebody else. I doubt any of these detransitioners would be happy knowing this either. Their stories are not for my mother to tell

anyway she sends me to college(to study analytics/statistics lol??) and insists I'm brainwashed and need an autism diagnosis(YES, SHE ASKED ME 3 TIMES TO GET ONE. NO I JUST HAVE ADHD. I ASKED DOCTORS FOR 5 YEARS ABT IT LOL)

She's just in denial she spent 1 million usd and 2 years of paperwork on a China doll because "[She] didn't want to try for another son" I was told this my entire childhood and it's haunting me almost every day now.

That's the super dumbed-down version of that Reddit comment. Let alone EVERYTHING ELSE she put me through the last 14 months.

TLDR; She did not make a post to get people to agree with her, she was just taking people's stories and struggles to fuel a hate agenda detransitioners themselves do not agree with (she cannot read.)

[nat-stimmy]

nobody ever suspected anything. i never thought anything was specifically wrong with me. i guess im still in denial over my diagnosis and im ngl it is something i am highly embarrassed of and will go to the grave with this rather than ever tell anybody EXCEPT...if they think im weird, then maybe i will tell them.

i often feel like i have been wrongly diagnosed too. i just feel like i dont have this and im just, severe anxiety is all.

can i just say something though? like its a burden on me, for real. so i was "working" in this little cafe thingy slash idek i was sat on the computer doing these pamphlets and whatnot for them because nobody knew anything on how to make them or something, idk, but i was on a walk with this one woman who works there, she's like this one person who, if something happens, like i cant figure something out, she's the one i should talk to and whatnot. but we were on this walk and i still remember this despite this happening in fucking 2018. sorry for cussing...but she was like, SO SHOCKED when she asked me if i had gone to a special needs classes, and i said no i had never, always went to a normal class and school, had no issues whatsoever with school except for the matter of fact that i fucking hated school and homework, i have never been a fan of it, but the way she was like shocked over it, i was taken aback, i honestly felt insulted. like she thinks im stupid or something? and thats the issue i know people who go to special classes and whatnot arent necessarily stupid but the fact when people judge my knowledge, is what gets to me. she's also make damn sure i know they are kidding and whatnot, when i used to live off being sarcastic due to severe bullying online i developed this sarcastis persona that thankfully toned down eventually. but that really insulted me lmao. was thinking "...excuse me?" i just dont like people being like that to me.

again i apologise but thats just how i be. be working. and i know im gonna possibly get yelled at for saying that but again ik they aint stupid, but thats just what i thought, and unfortunately think, because...judgement. like that. gets to me. but only irl.

sorry for this awkward rant.

i completely understand, don't worry! and dont worry abt cursing i swear all the time JKLFDJKLDSF yeah, i was never in any special ed classes even when i was misdiagnosed as a kid as having ADHD (a rushed diagnosis forced by the school i was going to at the time because they said i'd be kicked out if i didnt get medicated even though i wasnt. doing anything. i was just doing Normal Autistic Kid stuff) actually i was in advanced classes as a kid! i was reading at a college level in like 3rd grade and so i got put in the gifted program and while you and I know that being in special ed isn't anything bad, or indicative of your intelligence, NT people usually don't share that opinion and generally have ableist ideas of the kinds of kids who are in those classes, and honestly i'd have been a little taken aback too as someone who is proud of being autistic since i Don't Fucking Trust Allistics and i tend to assume the worst in scenarios like this

[finned-fish]

Vent Post

⚠️Trigger WARNING⚠️

Physical Abu//, Sui//, Sui//al ideation.

Really do hate interacting with new people. It's been so long since I've done that. Well, did it today in phasmo and rediscovered that I am a nuisance to all.

I am that "everybody leaves me" person, except it's more accurate to say they don't interact with me on a closer level in the first place. People do figure out why.

Autism, OCD, ADHD combined type, Chronic Generalized Anxiety, Chronic Major Depressive. All diagnoses of mine. Traumatized regularly and consistently.

I forgot that I talk too much, or that I do something wrong. Idk what I do. I don't know what it is about me but no matter how much I mask, mirror, or even script up entire new personalities, I'm just off-putting. People dislike me. Either that or they coddle me. Treat me like some young adolescent that still needs to learn how to properly communicate and interact with others. I hate it.

I always see people talk about how horrible the "everybody leaves me" person is, or the "nobody wants to be friends with me" person is. Someone was talking abt that and said "especially when they don't even know why." I don't know why. I don't know what I do wrong. Nobody will tell me. It doesn't seem like I've wildly offended anyone. I don't know what I do. If someone just told me what I do wrong I'd fix it. Why am I such a problem? What do I do wrong?

I'm consistently ignored, undermined, dismissed, and coddled.

That or I'm constantly annoying, frustrating, too loud, or too talkative.

I try so hard to be right for other people.

And I hate it when people give me that fucking "just be yourself bullshit." All that "being myself" got me was severe physical beatings multiple times a day.

I'm supposed to move in with the two people I love most. Never in my life have I cherished a connection as much as I do with these people.

Even when I had someone who I was deeply in love with and who was deeply in love with me. She gave me everything and accepted me purely as I was. And then she killed herself. And I didn't know to cherish the connection more. I cherished her more than anything, but I did not know then that cherishing her and cherishing our connection were two different things.

So I don't know if I can move in with these two people. If I am that "everybody leaves me/nobody wants to be friends with me person", I don't want to interact with them or hurt them like all those videos and all those people say the "everyone leaves/no friends" person does.

What should I do? I don't know what to do. I've hovered my finger over that block button so many times. To just disappear.

Is it greedy not to? Should I just disappear for them? Am I being selfish? I love these two people so much, and I don't want to disappear from them.

I don't know what to do anymore. I'm just sinking. I'm so comfortable with them and I am myself around both of them, and every time I say something or send a message, it feels like I pinched a nerve. I worry so severely that I've done something wrong. It doesn't even matter if they're typing their response or talking to me, I still worry.

And I try to act like I don't worry. I don't constantly put myself down or require constant reassurance from them. I am not forcing a codependent relationship or anything. So I don't think that's it either, since I do a pretty good job of that.

I don't know what I'll do when it comes time to move in. I can't imagine myself getting any better or being any better by then. At so many different points at my life I've been sure that I reached my max potential and still wasn't enough, and I was wrong. It's happened over and over and over again. And after all those times of still getting better, I'm also still not enough. And once again I'm at a point where I think I've reached my max potential. And that there is nothing left for me.

And so now I just wonder how long I can keep going before I make a decision? I have such a strong feeling of doom. And I know what it is. I feel it in the strings, and I know that I'm only going in one of two directions.

I move in with them, and that's as far as I can see. The strings end there. Or I fall the other direction.

If I may be dramatic for a moment:

It's a massive pit. It's oozing such horrible doom. I can't describe the potency of it other than saying that it squelches out and climbs up the strings that I feel are tugging me into it.

And saying these "two directions" I already know I'm only going in one already. I am careening towards suicide so rapidly. I think I just didn't wanna sound utterly hopeless or cliché but there isn't another direction. No strings pulling me towards those two. I look and there's none. And I'm not going to make any.

I don't know when I will commit, but I know it's going to happen within the next six months. It feels somewhere between late January and early April.

Is it cold or heartless to be this analytical? Is that the problem? I can use "both halves" of my brain — emotional and intellectual — in tandem and as completely separate entities. It's not the same as turning my emotions off, either. No matter how heightened my emotional state it I have perfect analytical clarity. Maybe that's the problem. Maybe people can somehow feel that and they don't like it.

Now i do feel heartless. I feel entirely neutral — and even at peace — when I ask myself "which part do I cull?"

And I don't care, actually, because I'd do anything to fix myself. So I don't really feel anything about how horrible I imagine that ultimatum must sound to others. And even then I don't know if it sounds that horrible. But if I had to terminate one of those two parts of me I wouldn't hesitate, I just need to figure out which one it is.

And unfortunately, there's no strings with the answer to that.

[crystal-iceblossomxjackfrost4evr]

Tw manipulative Parental unit bullshit/my sociopathic tendencies towards said parental unit/ and small death stuff in the past/small mention of suicidal thoughts in thr past

So like i maybe go off like a villain here. Sending herw to send link to my megamind server buds. Uhm but yeaaa sorry if u didnt realize yet i can be quite crazy when it comes to real assholes like this guy. And i have no love whatsoever for child abusers /manipulators in anyway, shape, form or fashion.

Background: Only mental,emotional financial and phsyical type of abuse happened to me. Nothing rated M/E other then objectification for modeling. I have adhd and possibly many others including autism,anxiety, and recently thinking cptsd

Uh rant below

[[MORE]]

:readmore:

||So like TELL ME WHY this mans asked me TWICE NOW trying to bribe me to vome home and take care of his dumb ass

He has no working arms and i feel b

Pity im not completely heartless but i also laugh my ever fucking ass off cuz its his own karma hitting him

Its been damn near 3 years (1.5-2 since his accident) and hes STILL TRYING TO MAKE ME COME BACK

BITCH I RAN AWAY WITH 8 SUITCASES AND NOTHING ELSE WHYYYYYY

WHYYYYY WOULD I COME BACK TO UR NARCISSITIC MANIPULATIVE ASSANINE BULLSHIT

UR BEING SWEET and adoraaable and all "ohhh i love u princess. I wish u back princess. Im cryinnnng princess. Ill pay u 3600 a month! Ill pay 4000! A month!"

NO

NO

NO

I COULD BE PAID 14 GODDAMN GRAND A MONTH UR A LIAR

U will absolutely become a hellish monster again once im back in ur clutcges and im honestly cackling like a sociopath

This fucker has made me go full sociopath anime villain ass tendrncies. 0ne wrong step and i couldve been goddamn loki or deadpool in the real world im not kidding!!

If i got STUCK in the pandemic with this HO one of us would e died

One of us wouldve died.

I mainly kept tellin the doctors to leave him alive cuz i felt bad. I knew hed want to. I need SOMEONE to take care of the house (im broke af) and i wanna get life insurance to get i dunno 1k, 10k, 50k, 100k SOMETHING out of him.

And hes useful in helping me with grocery and occasional actual money

Just SIGH sighh i do love him

.....Hah Ahahha

Okay i USE to love him. I just feel bad for the guy at this point. He lost his goddamn chance for me to love him when i had to cry my goddamn self to sleep every fucking night of highschool asking Whyyyy the fuck he and mama dont seem to care. Even after saying my suicidal tendencies. Even after so many instances of me being angry beyonf measure. So many instances of abusing me even after mama (gramma) died. Even to the point where i legit was feeling insane from LACK OF QLEEP CUZ HE WONT TURN DOWN THE STUPID BASS

I cant stannnnnnnnnnnd bass anymore. Any bass in a speaker in a neighbors house i cant deal with.

Ppl yelling at me i cant deal with.

I dont think i can legit EVER fully live on my own without someone to at the least help me take care of thr house, appointments, paperwork and signing up or filling out things and spiders (sever phobia tht he neverrr helped)

Im 90% sure all of my diagnosis are 10000 or more % worse if not outright caused by him besides my adhd and autism

And even after all tht.

Alll the crying. All the screaming silently. All the manipulation. And abuse until he fucked my head around sideways and inside out

HE STILL THINKS ID EVERRRRR WANT TO GO BACK

im on low contact for "wow your life sucks" ahahajaha reasons just cuz i call u a couple times a month or two and we get along on the phone (cuz i laid down the tule if he starts yelling imma hang the eff up and or he starts blaming me imma sob story him till he shuts up) does not mean i will ever EVER live with him again

And if i even EVER THINK ABT GOING BACK its because i miss my house and old life i can never have and if i ever reallly think abt going back to him. My bog brother. My roommate, my bonus mother and prolly both besties would slap me upside the head or knock me out or tie me down and ask what the ever loving fucks wrong with me!!!

Jeezus christ! "I thought ud at least think abt it!" I THOUGHT ABT it for 23 yeaaaaars before i managed to get away u crazy man

No!

And even if i did I CANT TAKE CARE OF PPL i get grossed out touchin the hair tht combs off when i comb my own head.

I get grossed out at taking care of my own body

I get grossed out or shut down at the littlest of things tht even miss or roomie go WHY ARE U HAVING TRBL. Becauseee of himmmm. He made damn sure i would have to rely on ppl for the rest of my life which sets me up poorly to everrrr take care of him. Id rven told mama someone else would have to take care of herr. Id hire and pay someone but I. CANT. DO. IT.

So boo hoo sad story feels bad man but u made sure id have these fucking problems and dig ur grave and i wanna just scream at him to just lie in it nowwwww but i still need him and need to make sure he wont eff me in selling thr house tht mama for some reason only gave me half of. And maybe bribe him to keep my stuff in storage till im stable with a job again Ugh ;*; ||

Tw manipulative Parental unit bullshit/my sociopathic tendencies towards said parental unit/ and small death stuff in the past/small mention of suicide thoughts in the past

[vrson]

for the most part i have accepted that im autistic. officially self-dx'ed. but sometimes i say "im autistic" out loud and im hit with the train of "its gonna be really humiliating when you realize you were wrong and everyone 'knows' youve been faking" like.

is it possible ive mislabeled myself? yes. but doctors throughout my childhood and adolescence said i probably have adhd but they never tested me bc i wasnt struggling with school at that time. (at least, not with my grades. attendence, socializing, etc. yeah) and ive learned abt the overlaps in autistic and adhd experiences and i identify with both. im just not sure where the lines are of like "oh yeah this is Officially Autism" compared to like. "you were neglected, manipulated, and isolated as a child and just didnt develop right but that doesnt count as autism" (??? idk , is thst a thing?)

every time my autistic friends catch me questioning myself on that, they just go. "yeah, youre autistic." and its like. idk. this is just my whole experience so idk what being neurotypical would feel like? idk how to be sure? ?

but ig i probably wouldnt be feeling so strongly abt it if i wasnt autistic or similarly neurodivergent. i follow someone with schizophrenia who was misdiagnosed with autism, and i guess if something similar happened with me it wouldnt make me like. a bad person. it wouldnt even really be a misdeed. im just trying to make sense of my experiences while having limited resources to do so.

[tg-headcanons]

NOW UR GONNA GET MY FULL NEURODIVERGENT AGENDA also I think it's obvious I saw the reddit post that asked if everyone had BPD (derogatory) and I went "yes, they do (affectionate)"

kaneki has ADHD, BPD, and some kinda dissociative disorder. He's definitely the Quiet™ version of all of them because he has anxiety so he was the kid that got books taken away in class and then pulled out another and he's been hyperfixated on Sens novels forEVER he knows them mfs better than eto herself. He also has the executive function of a small fried potato so he turned stuff in last second and also forgot to eat (he thought it would be easier as a ghoul because they eat less often but he forgets until Ghoul Instincts kick in and he's about to go ape). With BPD he never confronted people because Scarie so he just cried at home because Hide couldn't hang out and that must mean he hates him right? Also that man can go from normal emotions to crying at the drop of a hat. Dissociation is obvious he's just in the 20th dimension talking to the other hims.

Eto also has ADHD and BPD which means her and kaneki would understand each other too well and build off each other until no one else could handle them. I feel like her Sen persona is actually a part of her and not just a mask, so she tends to be a lil forgetful and has AWFUL concept of time also literally the dead giveaway connecting eto and sen was her fidget (swinging her legs). I really can't describe how but I just get a phat BPD vibe from her but I could be projecting 😔 but if anyone she cared about tried to leave her she'd go ape shit she has no reason to mask her emotions so it'll be everyone's problem. Also she definitely gets angry before any other bad emotion so someone's like "hey I'm gonna leave aogiri because I have a family and stuff and-" and she's like okay I'm gonna go commit a literal war crime brb:).

Juuzou has ADHD and is literally like the only diagnosed person here because he's unbearably hyperactive. First day on the job and everyone's like there's something wrong with this kid and it's not just being raised by ghouls. He's medicated, which is why he's more tame in re, but he's still always moving and is one of the only needs many sensory neurodivergents. When he's at home he has all the lights on, some show playing on the tv, YouTube on a computer, and music from his phone while furiously pedalling away on one of those pedal things for people with like restless leg syndrome idk how to describe it. Also has an oral fixation and hanbee got him a chew necklace after he accidentally chewed through a pen. And he has gum and chewy candy stashed everywhere.

I have some more but I realized how long this is and it's prolly annoying 😭😭 I just got excited and I like talking Abt my thoughts I just get to nervous to put my name to it

Bro I LOVE ND Headcanons and YEAH IVE BEEN SAYING SEN’S BOOKS ARE KEN’S HYPERFIXATION! I’m 90% sure that his whole thing for Rize was that situation of “do I love them romantically or do we just share a hyperfixation?”