#so whatever job im getting after this is gonna be even harder

[weirdlizard26]

ngl guys. my chances of graduating feel thinner and thinner by the minute

[samwisefamgee]

The funny thing about constantly telling yourself that things could be worse is that sometimes. They are :)

[ilwonuu]

Hi I wondered if you can pls do another age gap one like with jeno but not so fast paced? Like maybe him or nana or even haechan? I really liked it I just wanted more *grabby hands*

yes of course!!!!! i hope this is good!!! let me know what you think. thank you for your request <3

love me

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ na jaemim

❦ pairing- softdom!jaemin x sub!reader

❦ warnings- age gap, unprotected sex, praise kink kinda, pet names, kissing, affection, lmk what else

❦ a/n- i need jaemin rn

❦ tags- @plutism for the divider!!!

today you had plans with your lovely boyfriend. na jaemin<3 a 23 year old you met through a coworker. very happy you did! you were a little scared about your age gap at first with you being 30.

the two of you getting over that as you seen how well put together jaemin was. he already had a good job and was able to support himself. that’s what you wanted. he was handsome, strong, kind.

what could you not want he is perfect. he made plans for the two of your at his house that is shared with jeno and chenle. he of course kicked them out for the day as he planned a pasta dinner for the two of you, some wine, and “whatever else you wanted” according to jaemin. he was excited as you can tell from his “on my way” text.

waiting for your boyfriend to pick you up from your house. packing some final things. not forgetting your bathing suit as you remember jaemin mentioning having a hot tub.

you were beyond excited to spend the night with jaemin. receiving a knock from your front door. you mentally noted that jaemin has arrived grabbing your things and heading to open the door.

there you see your boyfriend in a pink button up shirt. the top buttons open showing his chest perfectly. “hi baby.” jaemin smiles as soon as he sees you. “hello- you look sexy.” you touch his abs through his shirt as he mindlessly takes your things from you.

“yea? so do you gorgeous. let’s go?” he asks as you nod in response. he pulls you into a kiss holding you close to him as you go to his car. he opens the door putting your stuff in the car before helping you.

he gets in after smiling to himself. “i’m excited to have you to myself tonight.” his hand is already on your thigh as he starts driving. “i’m excited too! what about your roommates though? they’re okay that im coming?”

jaemin nods “i just kicked them out for the day they will probably be back tonight.” he laughs a little. you scoff as you laugh at him. “you kicked them out for me to come over? why??”

he shrugs taking his eyes off the road for a second to look at you. “like i said i want you all to myself for a long as i can.”

his eyes going back to the road as he continues driving. “you’re cute.” you smile not taking your eyes off the attractive man driving. his muscles flexing slightly. you can’t wait for you two to get to his house so you can just rip his clothes- and you’ve arrived.

“you excited for our eventful night at home?” he asks as you helps you out of the car. not forgetting your things. “i’m so excited.” you smile at his smirk. he is pushing you back against the car now gently. “i missed you all week.” he breathes into your skin.

you smiling as you agree. “i missed you more.” he pulls you into a sloppy kiss. holding your waist softly. “okay i need to stop before i get harder than i already am.” he laughs as he guides you into his house. both of you taking your shoes off as you sit on his couch.

he smiles at your getting comfortable as he turns away from you for a second. “you want to eat now or later?” he turns back to you seeing you already laying back on the couch. “i’m gonna say later.” he chuckles. you agreeing with his statement.

“what about some wine?” he suggests. “please!” you say laughing as he nods bringing over two glasses and the bottle. “i know you would never turn down some wine.”

he smirks pouring some wine in your glass handing it to you. doing to same for himself. “of course i won’t say no! the wine you get is always so good.” you compliment him causing him to just smile.

“i’m glad you enjoy it.” he smiles planting a kiss on your head. “baby ima get changed into something more comfortable want to come with me?” jaemin asks as he gets up.

“yep i need to get out of this skirt.” you sigh at the thought of being more comfortable. jaemin nods as you follow him to his bedroom. him unbuttoning his shirt completely as he gets in his room finally.

your eyes shifting towards his chest i mean whose wouldn’t. he just smirks to himself at your gaze. you pull yourself out of your thoughts as you take off your skirt. now his gaze shifting to you.

you feel your boyfriend against your body. behind you to gently pull you into him. you smile into his touch. “you look so beautiful.” he feels his dick get harder at his own words.

pulling you around to face him. “thank you jaem.” he nods. as he starts kissing your neck. “of course-kiss- i missed you so much.” he breathes into your neck. his bare chest against your back.

you just in your sweater and underwear. jaemin shirtless in just his black pants. “missed me how much?” you tease as he continues to kiss ur neck. “want me to show you baby?” he whispers into your ear with a smirk. “yea- want you jaem.”

you say biting your lip a little bit. he just kisses your cheek before pulling your sweater over your head. he guides you back onto his bed gently laying you down to hover over you.

“can i taste you? missed it so bad.” you nod at his question as you watch him move down your body. settling in between your legs. he tugs your panties down aggressive.

“jaem- o-oh.” you were caught off guard as he is already devouring your pussy roughly. your hands going to grip his hair to tug. he groans in response. “keep doing that baby.”

he breathes out before going back to eating you out. your moans getting desperate as you continue to tug on his hair. his moans sending a shiver through your pussy. “f-fuck jaem! i’m gonna cum!” you cry out.

his response being to open your legs wider so he can eat you out at a different angle. “ja-jaem ah i’m coming!” you moan out again loudly as your cum on his tongue. him licking up your cum and arousal sloppily.

“pussy so perfect. taste so good baby gonna let me fuck you too?” he asks as he comes up to kiss you. “yea-“ you say in between kisses. “please fuck me.” you moan as you watch him pull his pants down along with his boxers.

“condom?” you shake your head as he just smiles. lining up his dick with your cunt pushing in slightly. “f-fuck baby. can never get enough.” he starts to fuck into you roughly. “jaem please! s-so good.”

you moan out as you feel your mind start to cloud up a little bit. “yea? fucking my girl so good? gonna cum again huh baby? gonna make another mess for me?”

all you could do is moan. his dirty words being overwhelming in the best way possible. he smirks as he starts to drill his hips deeper.

“o-oh fuck fuck.” jaemin groans against your neck as he feels you clench around him. “if you do that again i will cum inside you.” he confesses as you moan again.

“jaem i c-can’t coming-“ you cry as he hits your gummy spot over and over. “cum pretty girl. gonna cum in you.

you feel so fucking good.” his words immediately making you cum on his dick. “yeah- fuck just like that. cum for me.” he groans as he cums deep inside you. him fucking you softly as you both come down from your highs.

“so pretty for me.” he smiles as he pulls out of you. going to clean you up immediately. “you ready for dinner now pretty?” he asks while planting another kiss on your head. “mm i could just keep eating you.”

you laugh at your own joke. “sorry yes let’s eat.” he laughs at you softly before pulling you into his arms. “okay in like 5 minutes i need to lay with you.” he smiles as you wrap your arms around him.

[luvyeni]

Hi omg I LOVED ur perv jisung fics! I was wondering if u could do one where he tries out different stuff with his partner bc um corruption kink? ... it's up to you if ur comfy or not with it tho! <3

LOLLIPOP; PARK JISUNG

pairings. pervbf!jisung x fem!reader

wc. 1.1k

warnings. corruption kink, oral (m. recieving), hand job, facial, reader has a oral fixation

i hope you like it 💓 !

jisung teaching you something new after seeing you eating a lollipop.

—

jisung was losing all restraints, as he watched you, your eyes stared down at your phone as you sat on the couch sucking on a lollipop.

he so desperately wanted to take that lollipop out your mouth, and replace it with his cock, fucking your face until he shot his load all over your plump lips.

he knew it was wrong, to think so inappropriately about his sweet girlfriend when you weren't doing anything wrong to provoke him, but he couldn't help it, everytime you moved the candy out your mouth, his cock got harder and harder.

he couldn't take it anymore, sitting down next to you. "baby." you turned your head, sweet innocence eyes bright; mouth stuffed, lips red from the sweet treat , sending jisung's mind into a even bigger spiral. "yes ji?" you were killing him...

"come." he patted his lap, you smiled, crawling into his lap. you wrapped your arms around his neck, lollipop still in your mouth. "is it good?" he held the stick of the candy.

"mhm, it's cherry." you were cute, so unaware that your boyfriend wanted to see you all teary eyed while he forced his cock down your throat.

"you want one?" he shook his head decline, "i'm fine love." he slowly moved the lollipop in and out of your mouth. "fuck." he cursed under his breath, watching you just take it with a smile, you definitely had a undiscovered oral fixation that you hadn't figured out yet, he was about to help you discover it.

"j...jisung, you're-" you pointed down to his pants. "hard? yes baby, im hard." he sighed as you began to grind down on it. "i..is this okay?" fuck of course it was okay, his girlfriend grinding her cute pussy against his hard cock, he could could do this until he cums, but he wants something else... he wants you on your knees, doing exactly what you were doing to that lollipop.

"baby, you know i love when we do this, but i want to try something else." you cocked your head to the side. "do you want to do the other thing?" you said shyly, he chuckled, cupping your cheek with one of his handa.

"no baby, something else." he used his other, pulling the lollipop out of your mouth, you whined, making his cock swell and his suspicions about your undiscovered kink even more believable.

"do you love me baby?" he moved his thumb across your bottom lip. "you know i do sungie, very much." he smiled. "then be a good girl and trust me okay?" you nodded, and he tapped the bottom of your lip.

"open up for me baby." his eyes grew sharp and dark as you slowly opened your mouth, letting him slowly push his thumb in. "that's it, good girl, now suck." you closed around his thumb, sucking on, closing your eyes sighing in content.

"princess, do you like sucking on my thumb like that?" he had to restrain himself from pushing his thumb as far as it could go down your throat, you definitely had a oral fixation. "mhm." he groaned, pulling his thumb out of your mouth, smirking when you moaned, eyes glosses over.

"baby let's try something else." he said. "get on your knees for me baby." you were confused, he could tell, but you listened to him anyway. "why am i down here?"

"because i'm gonn teach you something new." he cupped your cheek again. "i'm gonna teach you how to suck my cock." he said so bluntly. "you're gonna let me teach you?" you nodded, so compliant, willing to do whatever he asked, even if that was allowing him to cum on your face.

"good fucking girl."

he sat back, opening his legs, letting you slot yourself in between them. "unbuckle my jeans princess." you nervously grabbed his buckle of his jeans, pulling them down just enough, looking at him for the next instructions.

"good job, now take it angel, take my cock out for me." you followed instructions, pulling out his hard cock, holding it in your hand, he was about to cum like a virgin having his first time.

"good baby, good, now slowly move your hand up and down." he bit his lip, throwing his head against the couch as your hand started to move. "f...fuck."

"am i doing a good job?" he looked down, almost shooting his load all over your hand, your eyes blinking up at him, so innocent compared to what you were doing.

"yes you are baby, let's try something else though, spit on it, spit on my cock angel." you gathered spit in your mouth, letting it fall out of your mouth on to his bright red tip.

"o...oh fuck, baby yes, keep moving your hand up and down." he gathered all your hair into a makeshift ponytail. "i want you to try and take my cock okay? don't try and take all of baby, i know it's too big for your little mouth."

he took the base of cock out of your hand, guiding it to your lips, tapping his red tip on your red matching lips from the lollipop. "open up princess." you opened your mouth, and he guiding his cock into your mouth.

"mmh fuck! your little mouth feels so good, try and take some more." he pushed your head down a little more, his cock hitting the back of your throat making you gag. "breath through your nose love." he held your hair, maneuvering it up and down on his cock.

jisung was barely holding it together from fucking your throat, maybe next time. "now grab what you can't fit, and jerk me off." he let your hair go, so you could do it by yourself. "yeahhh, just like that." he groaned. "watch your teeth."

he looked down, his hip slightly bucking up at the sight he so desperately wanted to see from the very beginning, your tear stained mascara ruined eyes, fucked out from gagging on his cock.

"oh fuck! fuck im gonna cum, nghh!" he pulled you off, hold your lips close against his cock as he jerked his cock off until cum spurted out of his tip, landing on your lips, some getting on your cheek and eyes.

"shit." he tapped his tip on your lips. "did it feel good sungie?" your voice horse from the abuse on your throat.

he looked down at your fucked out, cum-stained face. "it felt so fucking good." he pulled out his phone, taking a few photos for later.

"you look so pretty with cum on your face."

©️LUVYENI

[nereidprinc3ss]

BESTIE. I was just casually thinking about your whole dybmn series and now I’m wondering, as both reader and Spencer become more confident with their spicy dynamics, what kind of lover would Spencer become with her? New k!nks, maybe?, I JUST genuinely think that Spencer is so whipped for her that he would definitely use toys and anything else, not only to experiment but to get to know and find out about all of her secret facets.

I believe she would be his “creation” like he would be so proud to see her development in her confidence in spicy times like smirking all over as she does anything to please him and he’d be like “yeah, I created that” because I’M BITING MY PILLOW RIGHT NOW and gonna dig up a hole after this to hide myself because my thoughts are so hideous. Girlie, what did you do to me? I wasn’t like this. 😩

oh let’s discuss

18+ long ass rambling and things i think about A Lot ……..

in my opinion (which is not the end all be all everyone can perceive them however they’d like) reader and spencer definitely bring out more sexually adventurous sides of each other like they just have a shit ton of chemistry and for a while ithink spencer would just be easing reader into sexuality so nothing that crazy would happen aside from the power dynamics we see pretty much from the start. i think those would definitely get stronger and occasionally more variable. im not usually into sub!spence but i think there would be times he would definitely allow reader to have more control (i don’t ever think he’d be like calling them mommy lmfao) but aside from that i could also see him veering VERY rarely in a slightly harder!dom direction. like he’ll never hurt or seriously degrade you but in p3 reader says something about liking it when he acts like they belong to him and he was really into that. as the relationship progresses i think he would almost start taking more ownership of r’s body in a way, like obviously nothing is ever nonconsensual but he just knows you so well that it’s like… well he knows you better than you know yourself sooo you let him call the shots, but at his core i think spencer is forever oriented to please. he just wants to make you feel good, that’s always gonna be his goal, so he’s always going to listen and even if the power dynamic is weighed in his favor you are actually always the one in control bc he’d do anything for u lol

in terms of kinks…. idk, i never really see spencer as a super kinky guy? like he just knows too much about paraphilia and obviously sexual violence ties into a lot of his job so i sincerely doubt he’d find giving or receiving pain arousing beyond like slapping your ass or you scratching his back or whatever. love is always at the heart of sex for him and that’s going to be the most important part, he’ll never be able to see you just as a body. he’ll always see you as the person he’s in love with and there are things he’s simply not willing to do to the person he loves.

because of his trauma he’s super duper hesitant about bondage BUT i think he wouldn’t be completely opposed to very light restraints on you or him, he’d just have to be in a specific mood. i also never see him as being someone who’s super into toys because he’s such a luddite, he can barely stand having an email i doubt he’s going to have an extensive collection of sex toys. but he would so use your vibrator on you or make you use it on yourself in front of him again if he’s in a very specific mood

oh but YES he DELIGHTS in having defiled and corrupted you. idc idc im not accepting criticism on this. like he spoils you so much that you’re used to getting him whenever you want and so you’re not very subtle about it. if you get all needy in public and start draping yourself all over him and giving him looks and pulling on his sleeve because you want to go home he’ll fuck you in rossi’s bathroom because he wants to encourage your lewd behavior.

obviously he has boundaries tho and he has respect for you and the people around him like he won’t do anything that draws attention and he’ll only ever do things he knows he can get away with without anyone else noticing

later seasons spence also LOVES when you leave marks on him he thinks it’s cute how you mark your territory and he’s not at all embarrassed if there is a hickey above his collar at work. in his mind it’s like. why would he care about other peoples opinions on his sex life when they have nothing to do with it god i think about this all the time

anyway im sorry if this was disappointing😭 idkidk, thank you for asking about my thoughts tho bc i am always down for headcanons

[agustd-png]

*grabs mic* yo im back, this one goes out to all my fellow pwp loving friends out there 💋

Changbin/Jisung + Fem Reader. 2.6k. Smut (18+ Warnings under the cut)

Warnings: Oral (m. receiving), piv, public sex, a lil exhibitionism, a lil voyeurism, threesome-ish

Changbin really thought he had it in the bag with the number of times you'd flirted with him that night. A party with his best friends and you, the friend he couldn't help but lust after, had gone quite well for him, or so it had seemed. He knew you would probably be down to hook up if he asked; not that he thought you were a slut, but it was no secret that you were open to lots of sexual experiences and had quite a number of partners under your belt, including some of his friends. All he needed was the balls to suggest it. And between the way you talked and laughed with him all night, sat on his lap unprompted, and wore the shortest skirt he'd ever seen you wear, he felt this was the perfect time to ask you back to his place.

But when the party was winding down and he went to look for you to proposition what he had thought would be a sure thing, he found something more unexpected instead that threw him for a loop.

He checked every room in his best friend's apartment, then found the last one unable to be opened. Chan's room was locked, and when the handle rattled, his best friend's unmistakable accent came through the wood. "Room's taken!" he called. Damn, so it was definitely him in there. But what about you? Changbin pressed his ear to the door to listen for more, and a hot pit of frustration fell through him to his stomach when he heard what was definitely your voice moaning Chan's name. Fuck. Changbin bit hard on his lip and tried not to get too pissed. Why were you flirting with him so much if you were just gonna fuck his best friend? Whatever, you didn't belong to him or anything. And it wasn't like he even had a crush on you really; he just thought you were hot and would be on board to fuck him. So he couldn't blame you if you didn't want that too.

Although he had all the information he needed, Changbin couldn't quite get himself to walk away from the door. A crowd of people were still mingling in the other room, but here he could hear you, the girl that made his dick harder than anyone else, getting railed just feet away from where he stood. The semi he'd been rocking from your flirting twitched and was very quickly a full on boner.

"Fuck Chan, harder, fuck ahh--!" Although he couldn't hear them that well, still your moans sounded even better than he'd imagined. He knew he'd be replaying those sounds in his head for the next few weeks, at least.

Shit, he needed to get out of here. Swiftly grabbing his coat, Changbin left without saying goodbye to anyone and just went straight to his car. Sitting in the dark leather seat, he exhaled heavily. Your voice rang in his head and he was unable to shake it. Palming his throbbing dick, he let himself fall into the fantasy instead of getting too caught up in his disappointment. He looked out the dark windshield at the night sky, and noticed his other friend Minho getting to his car with a girl under his arm. Was everyone getting laid but him? Sure felt like it. His hand fished his dick out of his pants and stroked, just wanting to cum so he could get it over with and get home. It was rare for him to masturbate in his car, but he wanted to stop thinking about you if he could.

He let his eyes close as he concentrated on the muffled sounds of your voice he'd gotten through the door. Fuck you sounded good taking dick...

*tap tap tap*

Changbin jumped in surprise, eyes flying open at the sound of someone rapping on his car window. Covering his dick with his hands instinctively, his gaze snapped to the door.

Oh my God, it was you.

He struggled to cover himself and pretend unsuccessfully he wasn't just jerking off as he opened the door.

"Thought that was gonna be my job tonight," you quipped, smirking at his hands that lay at his crotch.

He wasn't quite sure what to say. "W-well, I heard you with Chan so I thought..."

You walked quickly around to the passenger door against the curb and climbed into his car, closing the door behind you. You were flirting with him all night because you did want to go home with him. But Chan had just beaten him to the punch with his straightforwardness. "He just asked for a quickie, so I said yes," you shrugged nonchalantly. You paused then smirked again, putting the pieces together. "That why you're jerking off in your car, Bin? You heard me getting fucked?"

He couldn't deny it; you were of course exactly right, so he just nodded. You chuckled and brought your hand down to replace his on his dick, spreading your legs at the same time and letting your short skirt ride up your thighs. He could see now that you weren't wearing panties and his cock twitched and leaked a bit at the sight. "You're so hot," he said matter-of-factly through a groan.

For you, it was heavenly getting so much attention from so many hot men tonight; you couldn't deny how sexy you felt. "Hm, well hot girls have plenty of time for hot guys like you." You pushed your breasts together with your arms and smiled sweetly, contrasting with your other actions. Chan had been good: a hard, quick fuck that made your head spin, and having Changbin here lusting after you as well was such a turn on. You were ready for a second round, no matter which one of them it was from.

You adjusted, getting up on your knees to lean over and drop your head. His cock slipped between your lips and you immediately bobbed your head, knowing it would drive him crazy and also that neither you of needed to take your time. You were both horny enough as it was.

"Yeah, like that..." he sighed, letting his head fall back and his hand rest on your head. Your mouth felt even better than he'd imagined. So fucking soft and warm...

You felt him stiffen even more in your mouth, the veins throbbing deliciously against your tongue and his precum mixing with your saliva until it was one sweet, wet mess. Your pussy clenched and you felt the wetness leftover from your hookup with Chan sticking to your skin. You felt absolutely filthy, in the very best way, and took a deep breath through your nose before taking Changbin's whole length into your throat. Your nose hit his pelvic bone that peaked out between his clothes and you focused on controlling your gag reflex, your pussy clenching at the loud moans he couldn't hold in. You pulled off breathlessly and stroked your hand quickly over his length, peering up at his face that was lined with a thin layer of sweat, his bottom lip caught between his teeth. You watched his expression and saw it change drastically suddenly, his gaze pulled away from yours by something out the passenger window. You turned and looked behind you, seeing your mutual friend Jisung at the window. You got up and went to roll it down.

"What do you want?"

"What the hell are you doing?" Jisung looked at you with an annoyed expression.

"What's it look like?"

You and Jisung hooked up from time to time, but just to blow off a little steam. He of all people should know your sex drive was quite high. Jisung leaned down and looked in at Changbin, who could just sit awkwardly, and Jisung gave him a nod.

"Hey, man."

"Hey," Changbin replied stiffly.

"So what do you want?" You repeated, getting annoyed at his interruption.

"You're my ride, girl. How else do you think I'm getting home? Besides, I thought you already fucked Chan, I didn't expect you out here sucking another dick. No offense," he added, addressing Changbin.

"Well, I d--" you started.

"You can stay," Changbin chimed in unexpectedly. He had to admit it was always hot to have an audience, and he was well aware you and Jisung hooked up occasionally.

"Yeah?" Jisung sounded intrigued, then looked at you expectantly.

You had no objections, so you just shrugged and turned back to Changbin to continue your task. You smiled at Changbin and gave him a wink as you dragged your tongue up his length, sending chills through him. Jisung stood at the window, craning his neck a bit to see over your ass and get a better view.

"You like to be watched?" You murmured to Changbin before swirling your tongue over the head of his dick.

Changbin glanced over at Jisung briefly, considering. "Well...I definitely don't hate it," he replied with a smirk pulling up one side of his mouth. Another groan escaped him when you pulled his cock back between your lips and sucked. "Especially if I get to be here." He stretched his arm across the top of the passenger seat and dug his nails into the leather, trying to stay composed if he could.

But you had other plans; you were determined to see him come apart. So you went back to deep throating him, this time letting your hand play with his balls at the same time.

"Fuck--!" He spat, unable to contain it and tossing his head back.

"She's good, right?" Jisung piped up from behind you cockily.

"Really fucking good," Changbin praised, pushing your hair from your face and meeting your gaze. You did your best to smile with your mouth full, but he could see it in your eyes. You pulled off and jerked your hand quickly, glancing behind yourself to Jisung. He stood at the window with his hand down his pants and was rubbing his dick to the sight before him.

"Enjoying the view?" You teased with a little wiggle of your ass.

"You'd better stop unless you wanna get it hard again," he said with a shake of his head and a hard look at your ass. He always loved to take you from behind and you knew how much he loved your ass, so this was probably a perfect view for him. Besides, without your panties on and with a skirt that short, that view alone was a free show for him. Seeing you suck dick was the icing on the cake.

"Who says I don't?"

You turned back around to Changbin and smiled up, putting the focus back to him. He was here first after all. And you'd made him wait all night for you. So now you gave your best puppy eyes and tugged at his cock quickly. "I wanna see you cum, Bin. Cum for me, baby..." You murmured under your breath, this moment focusing solely on him, letting him see how into him you were.

Changbin bit hard on his lip and couldn't take his eyes off of you, his expression dark and colored by pure lust. He couldn't hold it back anymore, and with a loud, deep groan that was so satisfying to you, he hit his climax. Cum jumped from his tip and landed on his shirt. The last of it dripped down your fingers as your hand slowed, and your pussy clenched in desperation. You watched his expression as you licked his shaft and your fingers clean, feeling wonderfully filthy. His eyes clenched shut for a moment, another pleasured hum rumbling in that broad chest, and with a deep breath he relaxed into his seat.

"God that was good..."

You shrugged and smiled sweetly, licking your lips daintily as you sat back up in the passenger seat. "Hm, my pleasure."

You looked out the passenger window to Jisung, who was clearly desperately horny now. He had his pants undone and dick in his hand, and now you could see just how hard he was.

"Need a hand?" You quipped.

"If I can give you one." Jisung stared at your tits, that were practically out at this point. You pulled the daringly short crop top up over your breasts and let him touch, enjoying the attention. You remembered you were in public, in front of a friend's place no less, and looked out the windshield, but didn't see anything other than the calm, empty street.

You looked over at Changbin, wondering how he felt about two of his friends feeling each other up in his car. Luckily he still seemed pretty into it, sitting back with his arm still across the passenger seat, his strong hand resting right behind your head. Now it was his turn to watch. So you thought you might as well put on a show.

You grabbed Jisung's hand that groped your breast and pulled it down, under your skirt. "Fuck you're wet," Jisung noted, quickly sliding his fingers through your slit. You shuddered when he brushed your clit, then reached out for his dick, tugging it as best as you could at the angle.

"Mm, I can't--turn around," he demanded suddenly, popping the door open and swinging it out of the way, guiding you onto all fours again.

Your veins pumped with adrenaline as you climbed, the position putting you back with your head practically in Changbin's lap. "Sorry," you chuckled as you shimmied your skirt over your hips. You heard Jisung tearing open a condom, and in mere seconds he was inside you, making your eyes roll and nearly cross. "Shit--"

But Changbin didn't need to be apologized to; he wore an amused expression and was greatly enjoying this view, mainly to see your expressions and hear your sounds as you got fucked, this time with no door between him and you. He hoped one day to be the cause of those sounds.

Jisung grabbed the top of the car with one hand and your hip with the other, pounding into you relentlessly. He was not one to take his time, which could be a negative thing, but since you knew that about him, you mostly only fucked him when you wanted it hard and fast. You were getting tired, this being the third guy you hooked up with in the last hour alone. But at least Jisung was doing most of the work, so you gladly just relaxed and let him use your cunt to get off. It wasn't like you weren't enjoying it either anyway.

You glanced up at Changbin, your vision blurred by the speed you were being moved and by the hair that hung messily in your eyes. Still though, you could see the lust behind his gaze, the want he had for you. You clenched around Jisung just from that, making him spit out a curse behind you. His nails dug into your hips, and in only a few thrusts more you were tumbling over the edge, hitting your climax while still looking hazily into Changbin's eyes. Jisung moaned loudly and pulled out, tugging his cock until he came on your ass with a deep grunt. Changbin reached down and pulled your chin, roughly dragging you in to kiss him. You were still struggling to catch your breath and keep your head from swimming, but you happily kissed him back.

Jisung tapped you on your lower back a few seconds later, clearing his throat. "So we going now? You can make out with Changbin anytime. I wanna get home."

You pulled back and rolled your eyes, then addressed Changbin sincerely. "Thanks for a good time," you said simply, patting a hand on his broad chest. "It won't be the last."

[mugentakeda]

its like I desperately DO want to explore Iroh maybe emotionally manipulating Zuko his very manipulatable nephew. NOT because I hate Iroh and think his actions in the show are all 100% manipulation but because I love him and how shitty he is. He's like shitty on accident and it's great.

"Whoops accidentally isolated my nephew whoopsies accidentally formed codependency with him. Oh well time to play scrabble" its so slay

THERES THIS UNFINISHED FIC I READ ON AO3 THAT GOES SUPER INTO THIS ACTUALLY i loved it so much it had such a heavy hand in changing how i view iroh (because when i was a wee middle schooler and first watched atla i too viewed uncle iroh as a do-no-wronger). at least the emotionally manipulating part. heres the link if you wanna read it :) now under the cut im about to spazz a bit on the topic of iroh and zuko and im not gonna make anyone read this word vomit unless they really want to LMFAOOO

the way i see it book 1 iroh was still in the dregs of grief over lu ten and was also still dealing w The Order which i imagine had him on thin ice for a WHILE before he managed to score the grand lotus promotion.

i personally dont think iroh was THAT distantly caring of zuko like he was portrayed to be in the fic i linked above and on the contrary i think he was having a Horrible Time during zukos recovery from his burn. but he was still distant in the way that he didnt know zuko that well yet and it was mostly the guilt on top of projecting himself and his feelings about lu ten onto zuko (the first of what will become Many) and thinking along the lines of “how could any father do this to their son, it angers me because id give anything to have lu ten back”, but then once iroh comes to love ZUKO then its “how could ozai do this to zuko”

but despite all that theres still a seven layer salad of problems, miscommunication, misunderstandings, guilt, baggage, and projecting. iroh comes to love zuko fiercely by the end of book 1 after he snaps out of his apathy and is forcibly booted from the ship, therefore a fugitive and therefore harder for The Order to access. SO, he can finally focus on getting ozais venom out of zuko. sadly, as ive said before, iroh only managed to get some of the venom out of himself not even a full decade ago. And its worse, because irohs an older adult.

thats not just a childhood and teenage years of propaganda and crimes. its a whole lifetime. And hes on time limits. sozins comet is coming. his nephew is really good at catching up with the avatar. the order tells him that sentiment and guilt cant get in the way of their goals. its a nice idea to realign zukos ideals with The Orders so iroh has an heir if he decides to take over once they hopefully topple ozai, or if he doesnt want to rule at all so zuko can take over instead- but if ozais venom reaches too deep and zuko cant be helped, The Order will take the measures necessary to remove him from the equation.

between the stress of trying to get zuko aligned with being ok with the avatar toppling his dad and sister and entire nation in less than a year with whatever methods the avatar sees fit, only like a few gallons of his own fire nation bullshit problems being flushed out a few years ago with plenty to spare so hes Really not the best at trying to get his nephew see things iroh himself doesnt even fully see, not realizing that zuko isnt the kind of kid that does well with vague proverbs and prefers it straight forward (and with enough tact to phrase things in ways that wont make him flip out when he hears things hes not ready to hear yet but at the same time without sugar coating), iroh is obviously not gonna do a perfect job.

matter of fact, id go as far to say hes not gonna even do a good job. ill give him one chewed up star and say he did a halfway decent job. a lot of people credit him for getting zuko on the right path as if he was the one that did the heavy lifting, when really he got lucky that zuko managed to pull himself out from under a fucking MOUNTAIN of deeply embedded propaganda and violent physical and emotional abuse trauma in under a few months versus iroh whos still working on it after YEARS. and his doesnt even include the abuse trauma. zuko is strong as fuck and that is his strength and nobody else deserves to be credited for that. iroh gave him pointers and a nudge in the right direction, but didnt give zuko a map and also made him take the route that involved zuko crossing the bridge with an evil goblin that would only let him pass if he solved his riddles three.

but DESPITE ALL OF THAT! despite all of that never getting properly resolved and discussed and brushed over- partly because brykes stinky asses giving irohs character the 180 and making him all ~hoity toity righteous ive never done anything wrong despite my obvious hypocrisy thats so bad it smells~ in book 3, partly because parents like iroh who have 100 million things wrong with them along with being bad at communicating barely Ever get their head right enough to sit and talk these things out with their kids, iroh and zuko still love each other so, so fucking much.

its the little things and the implications that get me the most?? iroh basically collapsing onto zuko during the siege of the north when he leaves zhaos ship and burying his face in zukos chest. zuko telling iroh that for the last time hes NOT playing the tsungi horn. iroh pestering zuko into going back to the port to find a fucking tile for a game that iroh can just buy new of and zuko just growling and stomping off. iroh pumping his fist and grinning at zuko beating up zhao during their agni kai. their banter. his nonchalance at zukos bluntness and rudeness. iroh bothering zuko into going to bed to no avail. his snarky remark at zuko sitting in his room in the dark instead of going on a walk with him. iroh sucking up their argument from the night before over ozai and going with zuko to join azula despite his suspicions while glowering at all the soldiers like a huge snarly bear protecting their cub. like UGHHHH THE VOICES THE VOICES!!!!

its just not a realistic parent child relationship if there arent an equal amount of softness to ease through the complicated tangles.

its the apology plate of cut fruit after the shouting match. you hate it because its like why wont you just say sorry to my face with your words, but then you realize you wouldnt know how to respond in words yourself, so you just eat the shitty cut fruit and say youre sorry back by doing some equally lame act of service later that day just to make the ground fully even again and all is forgiven without even having to say it outloud and both of you are thinking we’ll definitely talk it out later. later wont ever come but the love wont leave anyway so who cares (you both care).

i literally love them SO much dude i dont have enough words they have so many issues we should feed them ibuprofen by the spoonful and put them in a blender

[joeys-babe]

Someday We’ll Be Together

Chapter 6: Realizations

————————————————————————

(joe's pov)

yesterday, i came to a realization. the feelings i had for y/n back in college never truly went away. i didnt admit to y/n's mom that she was right that i still liked y/n, but in my head i knew she was right.

she's why i finally broke up with lexie. i knew she treated me like shit and still stayed with her, but y/n being there to comfort me just made me want to end things. i wanted my attention to just be on her after all the shit i did to her while we were living in different states.

that's why i'm so jealous of her and tee. i wanted to be in the spot he was in; i wanted to be taking her on dates, i wanted her to watch me at practice, and hang out with the other girls because she was with me.

now that i've excepted the fact that i still have feelings for her, i need to come up with a plan. this time im not gonna chicken out, im gonna confess to her what i've wanted to tell her for a very long time.

the first step in that direction is actually talking to her, because i haven't been doing that the past couple of days.

come over?

that's the first text i sent to y/n. i've been an unreasonable jerk to her the past couple days so i'd be surprised if she answered

why? you've been ignoring me and now you want to hang out?

fair enough.

i want to apologize. thought it'd be better in person.

i'll be over in ten.

thank god she's not mad enough to refuse to see me.

the next ten minutes seem to go on forever. i sat on my bed just staring at the ceiling and waiting for a knock on the door or a ring from the doorbell.

i picked up my phone to see that had been 11 minutes, and i lost hope until there was a knock on the door followed by the doorbell.

i practically sprinted down the stairs, through the living room, and up to the door.

i took a deep breath before i opened the door, she had a pissed off look on her face.

"hey" - joe

"hey" - you

"come in" - joe moved to the side and let you in

she sat down on the couch, i followed and sat a couple feet away from her.

it was silent for a few moments, i was trying to collect my thoughts and perfect my apology. when i was ready i cleared my throat, causing y/n to look at me.

"i'm really sorry y/n. i shouldn't have ignored you like that.." - joe

she scoffed at my apology, and that's when i realized this was going to be a lot harder than i thought.

"why'd you do that?" - you

"i- i was just kind of annoyed that you were going on a date with one of my teammates." - joe

"what's so wrong with me going on a date with your teammate? wouldn't you rather i like someone you know rather than someone you don't?" - you

"it's just that if it didn't work out between you too i don't want it to be awkward at practice and at games. it's my job, and i can't have stuff like that messing with it." - joe

"that's not a good excuse. i'm confused because you call me your best friend but you don't want me to be happy." - you

"i do want you to be happy-" - joe

"no you don't!" - you raised your voice

"don't yell at me." - joe

"i can do whatever the hell i want! including going on dates with your teammates!" - you

"i'm just trying to protect you y/n!" - joe

"says the guy that dated a girl that was using him for 6 months. you can't even protect yourself, let alone protect me!" - you

i stayed silent for a second, that was a really low blow.

"do what makes you happy, and if tee makes you happy then go date him. i dont care anymore!"

- joe stood up from the couch and started walking towards the stairs

"wait joe! im sorry i shouldn't have said that- that was uncalled for.." - you

i ignored her comment and kept walking up the stairs, so much for apologizing.

"joe don't walk away, im sorry.." - you

"y/n i asked you to come over here to apologize to you for being such a dick and instead you yelled at me and brought up my shitty ex that i'm trying to get over." - joe yelled from the top of the stage

"i know, and i'm sorry." - you

i didn't reply and walked into my room, loudly

slamming the door and flopping onto my bed.

(y/n's pov)

of course this happens.

after what tee told me last night, i couldn't sleep.

i tossed and turned, replaying his words in my head over and over again.

the fact that you still have feelings for joe.

after losing hours of sleep i came to a realization.

tee was right. i still liked joe, i don’t think i ever really stopped.

but of course now that the very rare occasion that joe and i are both single is happening.. we’re fighting.

it’s honestly my fault, instead of excepting joes apology i accused him of him not wanting me to be happy and shoved his toxic past relationship in his face. not the ideal way to drop hints to your life long best friend that you have feelings for him.

“sweetheart.. you okay?” - your mom knocked on your bedroom door

it was now a few hours since my incident with joe, and i was feeling increasingly guilty. this was probably the third time my mom had come up here to check on me, one of the times being to tell me dinner was done but i didn’t leave my bed.

“no mom, i’m not okay” - you sniffled

“can i come in?” - your mom

“yeah..” - you

when my mom walked in to see me sprawled out on my bed with my face covered up with a blanket she sighed and let out a “oh honey” before sitting on the edge of my bed.

“wanna talk about it?” - your mom

“not really. but i know i probably need to.” - you leaned up

“so how’d this all start?” - your mom

“joe wasn’t exactly happy about my date with tee. so much so that he had been ignoring my calls and texts, and ignoring tee at practice.” - you

god these kids are so clueless, your mom thought.

“mhm” - your mom

“he asked me to come over today so he could apologize.. but i messed up.” - you

“what happened?” - your mom

“he told me he was sorry but i just kept arguing with everything he said. i yelled at him, and accused him of not wanting me to be happy. then i did something super bitchy mom..” - you

“oh lord, what’d you do?” - your mom

“he said he just wanted to protect me.. and i said says the guy that dated a girl that was using him for 6 months. you can't even protect yourself, let alone protect me.” - you

“y/n!” - your mom

“i know, i can’t believe i talked to him like that.”

- you

“i see why you’re upset.. what’s he do after that?” - your mom

“he started walking upstairs, saying that i should go do what makes me happy and if tee made me happy to go date him because he didn’t care anymore. i told him i was sorry and that i shouldn’t have said that, but he just went to his room and slammed the door.” - you

“oh honey.. i’m sorry but you really shouldn’t have said that.” - your mom

“i know.” - you

“so are you going to go out with tee again?” - your mom

“no. he said we’d be better off as friends.” - you

“that stinks, i knew you liked him.” - your mom

“that’s not even the worst part though mom.”

- you

“what’s the worst part?” - your mom

“earlier that night tee had asked me if i ever had feelings for joe, i told him only in college. well after tee told me that we’d be better off as friends he said there was something i wasn’t realizing, and when i asked him what that was he said i still had feelings for joe.” - you

“do you?” - your mom

“yeah.. i think i do.” - you sniffled and wiped your eyes

“y/n…” - your mom pulled you into a hug

“i realized it last night at like 3 am. it’s always just been joe. all along it’s just been him, ever since damn high school. i’ve been on so many dates, had boyfriends, failed talking stages. there have been some really nice great guys, but i just end up comparing them to joe. no guy compares to him, mom. he’s so sweet, genuine, protective, down to earth, one of the most hardworking people ever, he’s always been there for me, and i mean he’s the most handsome boy i’ve ever laid eyes on.” - you

“are you saying what i think you’re saying?”

- your mom smiled

“yeah.. i’m in love with joe.” - you grinned

“oh thank god! i was starting to think you were actually blind. i’ve known this since you guys were in middle school, i always knew you’d fall in love with him.” - your mom

“how do i fix this? i’m telling him how i feel this time, i’m not gonna chicken out. can’t really do that in this mess.” - you

“we’ll figure that out tomorrow, you need to go to bed and sleep. it’s been a long day for you.” - your mom stood up and walked up to the door, turning the light off and walking out of the room

it felt really good to finally get that off my chest and tell someone.

im in love with joe.

_________________________________

authors note: the motivation i have to write rn is insane.

hope you enjoyed ❤️

[jihyosdaughter]

TRIAL FIC

ler:minho

lee:hyunjin

DISCLAIMER

english is not my native language, and i cant speak it fluently, im a B1,so i apologize if there any grammatic mistakes and ill be grateful if you'll correct them if there's any,that will helps with my english,thank you

and i miss 2021 kpop era,so I wanna make this fic happen in December 2021,two weeks before new year group break from work.

also this one can be kinda short,because it's my first fic and I'll try to post as much as I can,so I would like you to send me requests to I have inspiration to move on in my blog

tap a like button and comment it if you liked it

enjoy!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

2021, 14 of December, 10.56 pm

It's already very dark outside,big flakes of snow slowly, fascinatingly falling to the ground..

Pretty obvious that idol job is hard,much harder that you could even imagine. However, maybe there one thing that can cheer you up,don't you think?

Finally, tour is over. Whole dorm is resting, or just minding their own business, except for one. Minho felt that he definitely doesn't want to sleep,something inside was telling him that he need something to play with,or,someone..But he doesn't knew exactly what's up to him,he felt like he needs something funny to cheer him up.

He was laying in star position,checking all of his thoughts that accumulated in his head ,but that didn't help to fall asleep either.

Until, one moment ,the genius idea flashed him.

He dart off his bed and quickly come out of his room. While he was coming through the hallway to get to his preys room he quickened the pace more and more,almost like he couldn't wait to his fantasy come true

And finally, he is going up the last three stairs to his desired place,and slowly opens the door.

Hyunjin didn't even notice his hyung first,as he was sitting ,pressing his back to headboard,reading something interesting.

After two seconds,blonde hair boy comes back to reality and quickly turn his head up,noticing that Minho now in his room.

-Why aren't you sleeping?-Hyunjin said with a light smirk, knowing what respond he's gonna get back

-It's none of your business.

-"it's none of your business "- Hyunjin quietly mocked his hyung, trying hard not to burst out laughter watching Minho’s reaction.

Minho stops from going circles around Hyunjin room,freezing on his place and slowly turning his head to give him a death stare.

Actually, older man wasn't that annoyed, because thing like that happened pretty often in their dorm,but unfortunately, he wasn't always able to made Hyunjin regret of his words because of the camera filming their vlive,skzcode or whatever. But today..today wasn't day like always

Even though it was pretty late,Minho heard noises from all rooms,that telling him that members wasn't sleeping,and loud noises that going to come out from room that he was currently in aren't gonna wake them up.

What did you just said? -Minho raised his brows,and slowly comes closer to blonde boy's bed

You heared iiiit..-Hyunjin playfully smirked.

Wow. He was brave. Really brave

Being bratty these days,I see? -Older crawled to Jinny's bed, making blonde boy start slowly crawle back, as he realized what waiting him in couple minutes

Hyung..i didn't meaAAHH-

Hyunjins apologize was ruined by his own loud scream, that escaped his mouth as Minho pulled Hyunjin closer by waist to his knees

Noohooho..- Hyunjin giggled in anticipation, when Minho eyes was running around room, looking for something that he could tie his prey up

Suddenly, the robe belt on the flour caught his attention, and he quickly pick it up, still holding boy as hard as he can, even though he was trying to escape as hard as he can, kicking his legs,squirming, and..

Hyunjin bites minho shoulder.

Minho was done. He shove younger no bed,sitting on his thighs, ties his hands with belt up his head.

Minho cracked his finger, smirked and said:

-Don't even think of escape.

Hyunjin didn't even start complaining and apologizing,as Minho dug his fingers into younger exposed armpits, as he was wearing shirt with not really long sleeves, so if he was in position when his arms was up,like now,it was really easy to get to one of the Hyunjins worst spots

AAAAAHHHHAH - Hyunjin's tickle laugh sounds more like a scream + hysterical laughter after, but if you tickle him lighter you'll get a sweet giggles

Lee know face brightened as he heared Hyunjin's laugh. That's exactly what he was craving, so he start wiggling his fingers and sometimes dugging into Hyunjin's armpits deeper

Hyunjin already felt like he was going to lose his mind from all tickle sensations threwing his head back in ticklish agony.

He was feeling like ectricity hitting his armpits, making him smile and scream with laughter like crazy

AAAAHYUUNGAAH - Younger let out one more scream before going to silent laughter, as he was tortured for few minutes already

Minho finally stopped, having mischievous smile, like the vampire who feeds on humans energy.

He gets up from Hyunjin's thighs, leaving him with heavy breath, red cheeks and shaking legs

HEHEY!UNTIE MY HANDS!- He screamed with heavy breath as he saw his hyung leaving his room..

[exorcismist]

fuck canon, embrace headcanon

(long post, sorry!!!)

Besides her fear of commitment, Spy ran off when Scout was born because she had recently discovered that she was transgender. She didn't know if Scout's mom (im gonna use my hc name for her from here on out— Julie/Julianna) would be approving and didn't want to hurt Julie because she knew she probably wouldn't love her anymore (newsflash, she still would). Spy knew she deserved better, so she ran, but she never really went far. She simply moved to New York (Albany— or Salem, i like that better), where she could still keep an eye on them.

Of course, she traveled all the time for her assassination jobs, but every now and then she would visit Boston, walking down the street of their home in a different disguise each time. She did get to watch Scout grow up, but from afar. It hurt her every time she saw him alone. There were a couple of times she came by later at night (just to see if Julie had moved on to a new man), and saw her precious Jérémy sitting in the backyard all alone. In those moments, she wanted nothing more than to run up and embrace him, but she couldn't.

^^ (That could have been a reason she said, "You're stronger than you'll ever know, Jeremy," in the comics. She knew some of what he had been through by those check-ins.)

She was already working for Red a little before Scout was, and she begged Pauling to get him in discreetly. By the luck of whatever god was up there, it worked. It was her first time seeing her son face to face since he was just a baby, but she couldn't find it in her to tell him. She never could.

She did (eventually) reach back out to Julie, showing up at her doorstep one night and apologizing profusely. She had drunk a bit before she came, maybe a little more than she should have. Spy just had to dull the pain or she might die just looking into Julie's eyes. Julianna was rightfully upset, but she could see that Spy was genuinely distraught. She asked her to come inside and talk, as the boys weren't home then. Spy explained everything, leaving out the bits about who she really was, though she hinted at it here and there, but was too scared.

Julie saw right through that. She understood her immediately. Spy nearly exploded into tears when Julie told her that she would love her no matter who she was. She cried in Julianna's arms harder than she had ever cried before. Julie could also see that she was clearly a little drunk, and she didn't want to leave her alone in this kind of state, so she let her stay the night.

Even after that, Spy made Julie promise not to tell Jeremy. She had to be the one to tell him face to face, and she knew that. Spy held it off for years; she was terrified of how Scout would react. Would he be angry? God, she hoped not. Then they were fired, and she was so, so upset. It hurt her, God, why had she held off for so long? Now, what if she never got to tell him?

The comics took place (even though comic 7 doesn't exist, shhh), and once everything went back to "normal", she told him. Actually told him.

How Scout took it is up to interpretation. I have so many different ideas I couldn’t possibly explain them all (most of them are sooooo angsty btw. hurt no comfort type angst.)

[antiradqueer]

Idek like if this fits in this blog I don’t even use tumblr for the community; I use it for images and customization and whatnot but I’m accidentally 2 am doomscrolling and…

The transid stuff is truly baffling to me like it’s so beyond me. I dunno if it’s just a new breed of severe mental illness or if it’s just heaps of attention seeking. Either way from what I’ve seen it’s just plain. Just insane. I’m also confused as to what they even are? Are they trans identities as in genders? Or are they just throwing around the word trans because they’re privileged and just. Can?

Firstly, I am black and trans which comes with day to day struggles. I didn’t wake up and stretch and yawn and go yep I’m gonna be trans. If I had a choice, I wouldn’t be trans. I wouldn’t want to put myself through constant oppression just because of who I am and how I feel about my own body and how I want to present MYself. It’s painful and I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone. So WHY are these people deciding they want to make their lives harder? Fully, consciously deciding that they want to change themselves purposely. Now I’ve always known I was trans but I didn’t always identify as trans because it didn’t feel right or I was scared to be judged. You cannot choose who you are but you can choose how you label yourself (which I’ve seen some crazy harmful stuff but that’s a different story.) So the fact that these people are CHOOSING to identify in ways that harm others and erase the trans community just does not make any sense to me.

Now. On to “transrace.” This has got to be some of the most privileged shit I’ve ever heard of in my life. I could probably guarantee you that a fat majority of these radqueers are white. Let’s say there’s a person who is white, but is deciding they want to say they’re black. Firstly, why??? I understand cultural appreciation but why do you want to change who you are to pretend to be someone else because there’s a “desire”? A desire to what? Be discriminated against no matter what? Not be able to graduate/get a job because of your natural hair? So on and so forth? I just don’t understand. These people are begging to be oppressed. And for what. What do they gain.

I don’t think I’ll ever understand, but I also think I’m fine with that. I don’t partake in discourse and I’m all for ‘to each his own.’ While I am not for people ignoring genuine harm being done (like the paraphiles or whatever they’re called aka groomers??? pedos??? traffickers????) I don’t believe that in the long run, it will affect either side. However. Transid people really do need to stop; especially ones acting on it in their actual.. away from the screen lives. I saw a post about a transid that revolves around intrusive thoughts. I suffer from intense intrusive and impulsive thoughts that often cause me to fall into intense episodes of mood swings, anger, confusion, depression, and more. I would NEVER romanticize these thoughts and make an identity for them. If it’s a coping mechanism, sure do whatever helps. But don’t bring that shit to others. Don’t glorify violent thoughts and mock real identities. It’s sickening.

I digress. Im stepping fully away from social media after tonight, but it was nice to be able to write this out and process how backwards we are evolving. Honestly, I will be fine with completely wiping the idea of transids away from my brain and continuing to lead a normal life.

TLDR:: I’m black and trans and I find radqueers/transids sickening, privileged, and harmful. Just my little tangents and tidbits on this subject that is quite new to me.

Bonus! I saw a genuine radqueer transid identity that was called “transartstyle.” Where one desires to have a different art style.

…

Stay safe out there

absolutely great points, i can never really get into breaking down tranrace like you did so first of all thank you,

i do think that alot of the transid/abled etc. stuff is some kind of new either mental illness or some kinda coping mechanism (or hell maybe it just is privilege and attention seeking), something like biid in a way or maybe something even similar to munchausen syndrome but not exactly it either, still doesnt take the harm those lables do away theres other, less harmful lables out there.

thank you so much for your piece here, and hey, dont let radqueers ruin your time online, especially since you dont do online discourse n all, anyway thank you and stay safe

[vialacteas]

recently I quit my Big Girl Job...

it wasnt rlly a choice. i got burnout and it came to a point id cry all day from stress. i didnt recognize myself anymore and i still dont, its gonna take some time for me to recover from all...

but all the last conversations i had with coworkers and my managers replaced my anger with sadness instead. working for a multinational kind of messes with ur brain especially if u have a background like mine - someone who never had much chance to land on this type of position. my resume wasnt that impressive compared to the other interns who were all from brazilian ´ivy leagues´ and had the money to pretend they changed the world with voluntary work overseas... but despite it i got hired and promoted and had the opportunity to be transferred to different areas, while most of my intern peers didnt even get to be hired in the first place.

everyone i talked to this last week was shocked and sad that i was leaving and they were all super gracious abt it. it kind of frustrates me because for these last 3 years ive worked my ass off and rarely had any sort of recognition besides the times i got hired and promoted. and not to say that i need to be babied or whatever, but i barely had serious feedbacks about what was working and what wasnt. i just did what i had to do and sometimes that meant staying late, working for 3 different teams, going beyond my job description etc etc etc. it came to a point that all i ever did was to solve crisis after crisis.

no one was ever truly mean to me but also ive always felt incredibly isolated and alienated. no process to follow, no person to small talk, no time to even analyse my own work - despite absorbing things easily i still needed guidance sometimes and felt terrible every time i had to ask for help or admit that i didnt know how to do it. and i recognize part of why i got so far was because ive always been engaged and self taught, but it can get incredibly tiresome and time consuming to have to figure out everything by yourself.

i dont know if this is part of a natural process, to feel like youre growing ~unevenly~, and it wasnt the only reason why i quit. most of it was the stress and the amount of workload i had, which was kind of insane... but after talking to my managers they all said the same thing along the lines of being sorry for not realizing + understanding why its hard to say 'no'.

which is whats been kind of saddening me... my brain keeps telling me: what if i did things differently, what if i was more vocal about it. im not sure if me saying 'no' would ever work as the tasks needed to be done, but what if i at least tried harder... but then, i also didn't really know how i was being perceived. i have this horrible habit of thinking my coworkers and managers would barely stand me for doing the bare minimum. ive never felt like a good professional in the end. they have a different perception though, and i got told that it would be ok for me to negotiate my own conditions because i was valuable.

they said its something that i should take for my next job: understand that im also a person who has needs and as long as im doing my job, i should at least try to be heard. obviously thats a very capitalistic conversation bc ideally id want to run to the forests to live a self sustained life etc etc.

but anyway i will try to take it as a new start instead of an inevitable ending. bc it would never be sustaining for me to stay there for more years, its not the job i wanted tbh. ill just have to trust myself this time to follow my own path. and try to be happy with it.

[iagreewithlilithsrightsnwrongs]

do u think when lilith went through the portal a second time, she finally understood/remembered what happened after she got taken by the tarask in s1??? n why she comes back validly shaken n desperate for ANYONE to understand? 

do u think she understood that adriel n reya know each other n he was her best bet at understanding her monster nature? i think thats why she went to him, scared out of her mind but hiding it well, n just going with whatever he was doing cuz she knew, as much as her sisters love her n care for her, they got no fucking clue whats going on. its not their fault, but she did leave toledo n her mother’s house knowing she needed to find answers fast, knowing she could never be the warrior nun and what that entails, knowing she shouldve made peace with that a long time ago but fuck that was her WHOLE LIFE thrown away by a complete newbie who made her like this!!! the very monster she was supposed to hunt!!! 

my bby knew jack shit of what she was doing either, she just traded a bad situation for another bad situation that she could at least understand. i think thats why she trusts adriel so blindly, he SOUNDS like the answers she needed, she feels understood. but its also why at that ava n lilith scene where ava ends up hurting lilith on her face at the end, lilith is so fucking emotional n angry n scared when ava tells her to go back. 

how can she go back when she fucked up like this? how can she go back n act like shes truly at their side when they cant n will never understand hers? how can she go back to a place where it felt like home, like her destiny, when she failed them so horribly? she can never go back. she doesnt believe she can or should. shes heartbroken, n she cares so deeply abt ava n her sisters but those hours spent on the other side showed her some truth she cant ignore. n now she has to live with it. 

she wants to do what the warrior nun would do, save the world of evil, help her sisters. well, sometimes that job has difficult decisions. sometimes ppl die. im thinking abt the first ep when lilith tells mary that she knows what needs to happen. n shes right!! if they want to get rid of evil n save ppl, they need to be objective n follow the protocols. i think her siding with adriel n then her, at the end after he dies, when she warns beatrice of the war, helps ava to a place where she knows she can heal n survive, n literally does not give a single fuck abt adriel afterwards, just needed to warn her sister n go away, maybe to prepare herself for this war, was lilith’s way of doing what a warrior nun would do. 

she thought adriel could actually give her the tools n maybe even help her save the world. but then he died n she understood that maybe she needs to do this shit by herself. so she flies off, no fucks given. her business here is done, n now there’s war preparations to be done. i dont think she was ever in love with adriel, they were using each other for their own goals. 

would i have preferred if lilith found her new monster identity by herself n with the help of her sisters?? yes. do i like that she trusted a crusty white men to do it?? no. but i cant stand when ppl say that lilith loves adriel or smth. bby she didnt blink when the guy died. she was like “oh well, time to help beatrice save ava” like??? that scene shocked me n gave me hope that maybe lilith matured in a way that made her harder to manipulate. doubtful, but im hopeful. 

that girl is still very much driven by ambition but also by praise. those are her weaknesses for sure. 

also im pretty sure shes gonna get killed off next season cuz im used to shows like these to disappoint me so. yh.

[nart]

ranting about everything post 😶 i will spare you all unless you would like to opt into my suffering

Sorry this shit is literally so embarrassingly #long omg i feel fucking wacko but i had to get it out so here is my unhinged rant

I kinda feel like i'm only now recovering from this weird burnout/depression slump i've been in for the past year and i'm glad i'm getting motivation back before i have to do my QE or whatever but man

I just have so much to do every day and like i feel like there aren't enough hours in the day 😭 like technically if i was willing to do work for 12 hours or whatever i could be ahead of schedule... But like i'm literally not capable of doing that. I can be on campus from like 10-5 and then go home and squeeze another 1-2 hours of productivity from my body and then i literally just cannot do anything else like i can't focus

It's just like... Man i know that's a completely normal way to feel as a human being but like there is just so much going on right now that it's hard to keep up... Like i gotta write my qualifying paper, start my dissertation proposal... Teach 2 discussion sections every week... Grade 70 homeworks every week... Revise this paper for this journal... Contact my committee members... Meet with people... Hold office hours... (that last one is a joke nobody comes) and at the same time i haven't even been thinking about my career after graduating and transitioning into industry and i barely have attended any conferences and i'm so behindddd

I just have this weird resentment towards some other people in my cohort sometimes like why are you guys on top of your shit. It's not fair lol. And sometimes i literally am just lazy or too anxious to do basic things i need to do but . YALL... STOP WORKING SO MUCH PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU PLEASE

Never mind the fact that whenever i see certain ppl from home theyre like "So when are you done" and none of them even know what i do or care at all 😭😭😭😭😭 like oh my god and when i try to explain it's like "im too stupid to understand" no you just don't give a fuck! you want me to move back home asap and don't care to learn anything about what my actual life is like down here!!!!!!!!!! bro!!!!!!!!!!!!

i swear like they'll be like "so are you gonna move back here when you're done" and im like "idk it depends on where i get a job! i might stay in CA!" and theyre just like "well im sure you can find something in seattle" idk it's well meaning but i havent lived up there for 7 years and i honestly just don't have the attachment to being there beyond it being where my mom family and grandma lives. like i got friends everywhere. im the friend master. i could live anywhere. im like a geography chameleon. im sorry i just have other things to prioritize

Idk it just all boils down to doing a phd is really hard and nobody knows how hard it is except people who are doing it or have done it. That's not to say it's objectively harder than other types of work it's just its own special brand of hard that is not relatable and nobody cares about. AND IT SUCKS!!!! CARE HARDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[areyouafraid]

im really gonna crack up man like im really gonna lose my shit one of these days.

ive sent application after application to all these different dumps for the last 3 months and none of them have come back. none of them pay more than maybe 15 an hour at best. and this fucking freelance thing i just tried to look into to at least supplement me with a form of income while i look for a job is a total shitshoot its garbage i flat out dont even know if i can do it. im 19 right now im lucky im not like fucking paying rent or anything. but i sure will have to eventually! it's bad enough i feel like a fuckup who can't keep a job after i got fired from my last dump but like. only so much time

virtually all of my family and friends age 20 - 30 live in fucking dumpy little tenement apartments and those are the ones who can even get places of their own. dont know if i even know anyone who makes more than like maybe 30K a year. and i think we're still the lucky ones. my parents got a 3 bedroom house back in 2001 and i live with them. but i cant live here forever, like financially socially emotionally thats just not... feasible for me. i think they said a little over 11% of americans live under the poverty line? and then there's a study that says america has the worst poverty rate out of 26 "developed" nations. this country is a fucking sick little joke. an empire built off of genocide that brutalizes the rest of the world while its citizens rot in the streets. a twisting labyrinth of dead-end jobs and unwalkable cities with nothing to do but toil and die. what is new york city if not a giant factory town? and this does not even cover one one-eighth of what is wrong with this stupid shitshow of a country

and whatever i know i should just be grateful for what i have (what do i have?) and i know it's a common sentiment among poor / impoverished people to be like well you just need to hustle harder well this is just how it is etc etc but like just what an absurd fucking way to think like you guys are fucking high. people shouldn't live like this. people can't live like this. it's not sustainable. it's not realistic. we have to have a right to shelter and food and literally at the bare minimum to fucking survive like... i mean for fuck's sake there are wild dogs who live in tiny rock dens smeared with their own shit and blood who still have a better quality of life than human beings in our beautiful utopian capitalist society. at least ants and wolves look out for each other. what happens when you fall sick or become homeless in america? what happens if you don't have enough money in america?

with every new day i feel more and more like anything resembling a fulfilling life is just not possible here. i don't know where else i would go. i know travel is expensive. idk i just like. i know this is my home and it does feel like a cop-out but i can't live like this. nobody can live like this. fuuuuck this. honest to christ even if north korea was actually one quarter as bad as US propaganda says it is that would be better than this. at least under the Cold Cruel Hand of Communism i'd have something to fall back on. i'd be insured and have a place to live. what do we have in capitalist america? a weak nod of acknowledgement? and you know what my least favorite part of "patriotic" american bullshit is? if this is really the "best country on earth" we might as well just start organizing mass suicides.

and now with senile old fuck biden regurgitating israeli propaganda and encouraging the senseless murder of palestinians i just think. and this is the guy democrats wanted. this is the guy that republicans were shitting themselves over telling themselves he'd turn america communist or whatever. god if youre still even taking calls from this fucking tragedy of a planet i hope some sort of incurable and highly infectious plague breaks out inside the white house and all of those stupid fucks end up with abscesses forming inside their brains. it might not fix anything but it'd take some of those perverted vultures off the face of the earth so it'd be a nice pick-me-up at least. UGHHHHHHHHHH

[valentinoappreciator]

Consensual Hazbin Hotel cannibalism

im just gonna muse over a storyline idea that my lovely, lovely fiancée handed to me on a silver platter. and you're all invited along for the ride. enjoy <3 !!

In this particular setting / AU / whatever, Alastor and Valentino are buddies. Pals. Friends, even, if you feel like being fancy. And me? I'm a helpless little girl, inadvertently caught in Valentino's grasp, but loving the stability and luxury it provides.

Having been his... favourite toy for a while, he knows exactly how far he can push me, and by the devil, he pushes me every single night. One day, when we're lounging on his couch (he's trying not to show how much he actually adores me; and he's failing spectacularly, so he tries to put on a hard edge), he asks me, all casual-like, if I want to be eaten. He has... connections, after all.

Confused, I peer up at him, asking if he means, like, me being eaten out? Valentino has never eaten me out before, and the mere idea gets me feeling all tingly and giddy and warm inside.

He snickers and pats my cheek. "No, silly," he says, and explains to me, in great detail and in great lengths, that he actually means eating me. Cannibalizing me. Sharing me with this... connection he has, in the most intimate of ways.

Naturally, I'm salivating already. I'm a freak, and he knows it. He loves me that about me.

So, when the night arrives for the feast, I'm primed and ready. Wearing my finest clothes - just for Valentino - I arrive at the location, seeing Valentino and the Radio Demon standing next to each other, chatting and seemingly enjoying each other's company.

Dumbfounded but excited, I walk up to them. Stretching out my hand to Alastor, he takes it, gives it a few firm shakes, and compliments me on my figure. Plump, full of fresh, delicious, red meat. I blush. Turning to Valentino, he compliments me on my outfit. I blush harder.

Together, they walk me inside the building, into a room where everything is wrapped in plastic / tarp, and I shudder as Valentino starts undressing me. I'm somewhat apprehensive; I know that cannibalism doesn't kill down here in Hell. We're all demons, after all, we just pass out and then wake up again, all our organs and all of our flesh having regenerated.

Alastor retrieves a most beautiful, curved knife, and starts explaining to Valentino where and how to cut to get the most out of the meat. What meat is good, what meat to be careful about, what meant to preferably avoid. I'm not tied down or strapped to a bed or anything. I'm as free-range as they come.

Valentino, as with everything else, is a quick learner, and it doesn't take long for Alastor to hand him another knife. Not quite as pretty, not quite as curved, as his own, but still plenty to get the job done.

And then they dig in, making oh such a wonderfully pretty mess out of me.