#so when people are like ''i'm not from America i dont need to worry about scalping'' just remember

[cumulo-stratus]

Communication Issues

(GIF NOT MINE)

Plantonic!BAU team x french!reader

Description: reader is from France and lived there until he was 11/12 and then moved to america and his first language is french. He also has a little bit of an accent. Basically reader is new to the team and it is their first late night back home on the jet with him. And basically they learn that when hes tired he reverts back to his mother tongue.

CW: possible swearing, I can't think of anything else

A/N: I'm thinking of making a series about this, like just funny scenarios related to the reader being French, if y'all have any ideas let me know! Also reader is gonna be loosely based off me when im rly tired cus i get kinda giggly/floppy/goofy. ( also sry it's short)

French, translation

3rd person POV:

after a hard, and long case the team was very ready to go home. They had found a 9 yr old girl and rescued her from a man holding her in his basement to torture her. And even though it took the profilers almost 3 full days with almost no sleep to find her. To say they were tired was understatement. It was almost 2 am when they trudged onto the plane, all tired physically and emotionally. Y/N was the last on the plane and decided to take the couch to get some sleep. Just as he was sitting down Reid plopped down next to him. (Y/N and Reid liked to sit next to each other so they could read together)

“Désolé reid, je veux lire avec toi, mais je suis trop fatigué pour ça” (sorry reid, i wanna read with you but im too tired for that) you said to him, slightly slurring your words. “Huh?” Spencer looked up at you with a small crease between his eyebrows. The switch in language caught the rest the rest of the team off guard as well (evidently by the looks on their faces) you peered at them just as perplexed and asked “Qu'est-ce qui ne va pas?” (Whats wrong?).

“Dont worry guys I’ll talk to him” said spencer with a little giggle at his new friends antics. Morgan gave spencer a little knowing look and eyebrow wiggle at his conversation with Y/N, despite having no idea what they were saying. “Mon biche, tu parle français maintenant, pas anglais.” (Darling, you’re speaking french right now, not english) says spencers with a small smile. a look of understanding dawned your features and you said “je suis?! Oh c'est pas grave, Oh, tu n'as besoin que de me comprendre de toute façon.” (I am?! Thats okay, you’re the only one who needs to understand me anyways) you say with a wink ad a giggle. Spencers cheeks went red and emily gave him a questioning look. “Y/N, tu fais quoi?” (y/n, what are you doing?). you just gave him a mischievous look before putting your head on his shoulder and snuggling into him to fall asleep. The rest of the team got bored of making fun of the pair and began their own conversations or trying to sleep. But after a minute or two the team heard and hushed but strict “shhhhh!” coming from their resident genius. “You guys are so loud! hes asleep!” said spencer’s while he gestured vicariously to the sleeping figure drooped over his left side. “hush up pretty boy, your little boyfriend over theres out cold dont worry about it.” said derek with a teasing smile. spencers cheeks turned even more red than before if hat was even possible and started stuttering about the sleep man not being his boyfriend. “okay, okay, hes not your boyfriend,” said derek with his hands up in surrender after spencer kept spluttering on about y/n not being his boyfriend.

(small time skip)

As the plane landed people began packing up their things and getting ready to get off the plane. But y/n and Spencer had moved and when the team looked over they found the two agents passed out on top of each other and snoring lightly.

THE END

[itsjustaninchident]

I feel like an interesting prompt for Lando would be being with/meeting a girl he likes who isn’t an influencer or popular, just a regular girl who stays more private. (Me for example, a girl who lives in the middle of no where Texas, with a regular business office 9-5 job) lol

You Are in Love

Lando Norris x Interior Designer!Reader

socmed au

summary: seems like mclaren's driver is not available in the market anymore but the real question is, to whom?

warning/s: none

author's note: hello! I am so sorry for taking so long to respond to this request 😭 I didn't know how I would create this and I am still quite scared to take requests but here we are and I hope you enjoy it! A little warning I'm not very knowledgeable about America so I might have overlooked some things and I am sorry for that 😭 and also lmk~ I also chose interior designer as the career for the reader I hope you don't mind >< 🫶 Please request more!

Part 2

yourusername

Texas, USA

liked by yourbestfriend, yoursibling, and 129 others

yourusername another tiring week but at least i get to be a passenger princess hehe :)

view 10 comments...

yourbestfriend tell him to watch his back i CAN take you back 😏

yourusername dont worry bae im all yours 😉

yourfriend is this the london boy 🫢

yourusername well...

yourfriend when will we meet him👀

yourusername he's a little shy😆

yoursibling mom says she miss him more than u

yourusername i guess i have been replaced in the family now

landonorris

liked by maxfewtrell, carlossainz55, and 320,478 others

landonorris another normal but lovely week

view 1,093 comments...

user1 this is so out of character of him😭

user2 fr why is this kinda lowkey of him to do though👀

user3 am i thinking what you're thinking

user4 is he yknow the d word 😭

user7 okay pack it up people he can have a life that does not concern us at all

danielricciardo 🤠

user9 what's with the emoji

maxfewtrell when will u be back here

user5 oh OH

user6 since when are you interested in architecture 🧐

user6 trying to connect shit...

user7 no you're not go get a life

user8 baes take all your delusional asses elsewhere 😭

yourusername

liked by yoursibling, yourbestfriend, and 218 others

yourusername golf isn't as bad as i thought

view 2 comments...

yourbestfriend am i really about to lose you to some guy who drives in circles???

yourusername nah still urs babe 😆😘

landonorris

liked by maxfewtrell, pierregasly, and 530,789 others

landonorris golf kinda day

view 305 comments...

maxfewtrell you got beaten up bad...

landonorris she was just lucky

maxfewtrell sure...

carlossainz55 i guess ill replace you as my golf buddy

user1 why are his pictures so boyfriend coded lately?

yourbestfriend that's really a nice pic i wonder who took it? 🫢

yourusername 🤐

user2 the comments from max and carlos😭 who's able to beat this man in golf😭 i need to pay my respect

yourusername

liked by lilymhe, yourbestfriend, and 137 others

yourusername fun week in canada :)

view 6 comments...

yourbestfriend I should've went with you!

yourusername definitely! 😭 It will be so much more fun with u around luv :'(

lilymhe hope to see you again !

yourusername looking forward as well! I miss u alr 🫶

lando.jpg

liked by danielricciardo, carlossainz55, and 834 others

lando.jpg canada you were fun 😏

view 1,456 comments...

user1 DID HE JUST HARD LAUNCH?!

user2 I AM NOT SO READY FOR THIS

user3 i genuinely think he has no idea what he posted....

user4 LANDO WHO'S THAT IN THE 3RD PHOTO

danielricciardo mate I think you're not supposed to post the 3rd photo...

carlossainz55 she will definitely kill him

maxverstappen1 im here for it

maxfewtrell so much for being lowkey

this post has been deleted

lando.jpg

liked by pierregasly, danielricciardo, and 234,598 others

lando.jpg canada you were fun 😏

view 5,405 comments...

user1 no way you're trying to gaslight us

user2 man really said nope not today

danielricciardo i saw nothing

carlossainz55 me too

maxverstappen1 me three

user3 twitter fans gonna have a field day with this 😭

to be continued...

[yourtouchismidas]

could you write matth and rg taking the girls trick or treating for the first time please?? 🥺

so i think you take gigi trick or treating every year when she is very little, too little to remember, dressing her up as an avocado when she is a five month old and has only just learned how to hold her own hear up, and then as a spider when she is one, with big stuffed legs that she chewed on while held her in your arms and matty rand doorbells for her and smiled proudly as everyone cooed, then took all the candy round to georges to eat when they got high. when she is three she chooses her own costume, a witch, and asks for the sweets herself. matty still eats most of it, "to save her little teeth" and you share a few chocolate bars with her.

gigi's fourth halloween, you are with matty on tour in america, lounging in the hotel room the morning before his halloween show. you've talked about the fact that it's halloween, obviously, over gigi's head, and the boys have picked out their costumes for the show. gigi hasnt really said anything about it all day, you're not sure she even remembers halloweens past, or if its all just a hazy dribbly chocolate blur. but while you and matty are cuddling in bed watching telly, gigi hitches herself up to look out the hotel window.

"its scary day!" she says.

"yeah, gi," you say, "it's halloween."

she runs back over from the window and jumps on you both "we need to get my costume!"

you peer out the window yourself and see a bunch of school children waiting at their bus stop, all dressed in cute little costumes.

"we can get you a costume" matty says.

"will we have time?" you fret, worried about getting to the venue and sound check and everything.

"yeah, definitely."

"then we can knock on people's doors?" gigi says, "thats what you do on halloween"

you and matty look at each other. there will not be time for trick or treating, you know that. you break this news to gigi, and she starts sobbing into matty's chest, and he strokes her hair but he can't change anything, you simply dont have time. he feels like the worst person in the world.

gigi is still crying when you meet the rest of the band for breakfast, and she holds her hands up to george and he lifts her up and asks whats wrong. she just buries her head in his shoulder.

"we dont have time to go trick or treating," you explain.

"oh dear, gus," george says, as she sobs into his shoulder, "it's a hard life isnt it love?"

you take gigi to walmart while they sort venue stuff out, and she picks a skeleton onesie and you take her back to the hotel room and draw more bones on her face with eyeliner. she giggles with delight.

matty texts, can you bring gi back stage before the show? everythings done, wanna hang.

so you set off. when you get back stage, it's oddly quiet, like no one is there. you cant hear voices. the stage set looms like an empty house, the arena echoey. you take gigi and go and try and find matty's dressing room by yourself, with no one to ask. you find it, in a corridor of dressing rooms, the first one with matty's name taped on the front. you knock.

matty opens the door in his costume. he's dressed as a magician, with a black suit with coat and tails, a top hat, and a wand.

"oh hello there, can i help you?" he asks, looking surprised. you and gigi side eye each other.

"matty," she says, "it's me. your daughter."

"i'm just a person in my house on halloween. ready to give treats to the children who knock" he says, "or tricks," he says, poking gigi with his wand and making her squeal. he disappears behind the door and hands her a plastic basket shaped like a pumpkin, and then tips out a bag of sharing candy into it.

"yay!" gigi says, and you smile knowingly at matty, kissing him on the cheek and wrapping your arms around him.

"no time for this affection young lady," he says, unwrapping your arms from him, but kissing you quickly on the side of the head, "plenty more houses to visit." he gestures down the corridor at the unopened dressing room doors. you grin. matty waves his wand dramatically at the both of you, then closes his door slowly behind him, saying "have a good night," in the most creepy voice he can muster.

you go from door to door, and behind each is another member of the band, or their partner, or a manager, or a security guard. george is dressed as frankensteins monster and chases gigi down the halls with his arms out in the front of him. Ross is wearing red lycra as the devil, a tail pinned to his bum, his long hair all out and down his back, two red horns sticking up out of his head. he's bought way too much candy for gigi and she throws herself at him in gratitude, screaming "i love the devil!" and making you both split with laughter. adam jumps out dressed as a ghost and gigi screams and then pretends not to be frightened at all, and ends up chasing adam round the halls with ross' red plastic pitchfork.

you have gigi say thank to the boys, for making her her own trick or treating street backstage, and she kisses her daddy with her black lipstick before he goes on stage, and he leaves the print there the whole show, while you watch in the audience and your little skeleton falls asleep in your arms, happy as ever on halloween.

[mayomaggot]

Every Single Class of 09’; Flipside Message

Feet Ending

Title: Greetings my queen

From: 703-425-2981

Message:

hewwo dere i saw your FM wisting and wanted to see if I could come to your house to be stepped on by your cute little piggies. My parents named me Frederick but you can call me Freddy Footins! I am 34 years young and have been with the FeetMeet community for about 5 years now. Someone on the forums snapped a pic of your feet without your permission and I pleasured myself to it roughly 9 times.\nWith that icebreaker out of the way, i have saved up about 300 dollars with my SSI checks and would like to hire your services. Unsure if you do any of the more erotic foot sessions but just in case let me list you some more of my fetishes: feet, choking, food play, facesitting, Mommy incest, sister incest, twincest, simulated kidnapping, women wearing the Taco Bell uniform, you pretending to be Mexican but then saying you are white after I point out how hot it is that you are Mexican, covering my rent this month, that last one wasnt a kink but would be pretty cool if you did that. Also I am not a rapist by definition (looked it up) so no need to google anything about me. P.S. havent seen your face yet but if you look roughly 12 i am SO going to try moving out of my parents house down the line one day maybe to date you!

OD Ending

Title: right number?

From: 703-960-1431

Message:

Hi I'm not sure if I have the right person but this is Jeffery's mother. Was just texting to thank you for finding his body and alerting the authorities when you did. Unfortunately they were too late but you can't blame yourself for that. A part of me is devastated but another part of me is relieved, which is horrible to say... Jeffery has never quite fit in with the other children, never had the best grades, and maybe this was the only avenue for him sadly enough. Every day I wondered in the back of my head if I had failed as a mother by raising someone so awkward. By middle school I eventually gave up on him to compartmentalize my insecurities as a parent, letting him play with toys and masturbate to what I assume is animated pornography that I found on his computer. I was worried he would be hopelessly going through adulthood so this might have been the best outcome for him. He would tell me he was going to work on video games for a job when he was an adult, then it was comic books, then it was making YouTube reviews of action figures. All these things he said he wanted to do and never pursued... my fear was he just wanted to be a child playing with toys forever. My son's suicide is bittersweet, on one hand he is gone but on the other he realized himself that life wouldn't work out and ended things before they got worse. I KNEW there was a smart boy somewhere inside of Jeffery. I also know we have never spoken before but I needed to tell someone who would not have any pre-conceived notions about my pain...and can understand my blunt honesty now.When Jeffery was alive I was insecure. Now that he's gone I can feel free.

Slave Ending

Title: right number?

From: 202-347-4800

Message:

Heyo this George W Bush from the America White House! Not sure if those lesser camel jockeys let you have a phone as a slave but I personally wanted to let you know that Obama has sent a presidential pardon message to the Taliban to let you out. The Taliban ignores most of my messages and will make a grainy VHS tape telling me MacDonalds is the anti-christ or buddha or whatever the hell brown people worship but you get the idea. American girls like you have a bright future and we need to perserve that in ensuring all men are created equal in this race for equal opportunity.

P.S. Kanye was right ;)

Car Crash Ending

Title: can you cover

From: 703-960-1431

Message:

This is Ron Stumpford of Dominos Fairfax texting about the tragic passing of Ari. Now that shes dead we dont really have anyone to do deliveries on NFL Thursdays anymore so can you cover for her? We dont care that you killed her drunk driving we just gotta move orders here. Between you and me I am glad you killed her cause I asked her out on a date and she made up some fake excuse that she was gay FUCK THAT BITCH! But please come down and cover for her because the selfish bitch was too inconsiderate to have someone cover for her in the event she died on the job. I told her parents that and they made it out like IM the bad guy. If you cant drive for us would you at least have any naked pictures of her or anything? Im trying not to leave this deal empty handed here. Not even her parents had naked pictures of her to send me like what a rip off!

Nicole's Suicide Ending

Title: why why why why...

From: nicole

Message:

why cant u help me

100% Completion Message

Title: Thanks for playing!

From: SBN3

Message:

Thank you for playing the Class of '09 visual novel series to completion!

This project set out to bring real, relatable experiences back into the current lexicon of entertainment through the medium of comedy. Originally it was thought a bunch of people in their early 30s would play these games for a laugh but it turned out people who were barely alive for 2009 gravitated towards it in larger numbers.

Many of the social issues featured in this game were not exclusive to the late 2000s and the teenage portion of our fans lead me to believe times haven't changed... I also learned that 2-line throwaway jokes qualify as lore for people who need employment.

Through these games, presenting the dynamic reality I had witnessed came second to only writing dialogue which would entertain a wide array of people.

From FPS streamer fratboy assholes who love Kylar to purple-haired gender neutral girls who love Ari... Class of '09 has succeeded in being a crossroads of internet culture (regardless of whether those two parties are even aware the other side plays the game). This was not by accident, this is just what happens when you aren't afraid to exit your comfort zone and explore other circles, other cultures, and most importantly other levels of hardship.

Represtation in media is important, however mainstream media cannot represent those they are disconnected from. If you're suicidal, homeless, bulimic, addicted, a sex worker, or in an abusive relationship, Class of '09 is not shock humor to you. It merely displays a reality the comfortable can't comprehend.

I cannot necessarily write how real which stories were or were not, but I can guarantee the answers will surprise you. Lives had been lost and many futures were squandered along the journey which influenced the stories in these games. Those who experienced some events of Class of '09 in their own lives would understand. Your funny stories and your sad stories are all you need to create media that resonates.

Now while the game contained a plethora of anti-pedophilia messagery you just can't avoid psychos who latch onto media just because it's popular. I would just like to warn our fans that child predators who infiltrated the Class of '09 fanbase have been using the following phrases to secretly identify each other:

"the writing in Class of '09 isnt very good"

"I hate SBN3"

"I hate Wrath Club"

"Class of '09 was good by mistake"

"I love Class of '09 but hate the creator"

"No! The game just made that up!"

Make sure to report anyone using this or similar secret pedo rhetoric to your local authorities. Thank you.

-SBN3 a.k.a. God.

this game was an actual dumpster fire, idk what I was expecting but it definitely wasn’t whatever we got

[nerves-nebula]

Yeah! Fantasy racism is a subject that I think about a lot, like- racism exists because colonism and colonism only exists because the state wants to make a profit

Reducing racism to fear of the body is something a lot of fantasy writers do and it always bothers me

But it's also something that I worry I will stumble into accidently- like I'm brown but I have this little world building project where I want to put my own experiences with racism but i always worry that I'm gonna fumble it badly- because ultimately these fantasy characters aren't human, so my experiences won't translate completely

I think the issue comes from the range of xenofiction is out there, like from end end of the spectrum you got stories from perspective real life rabbit trying to evade a real life fox then which is all about the animals experience rather than a human one, then you got works like zootopia from the other end, trying to insert the human experience of racism into the mix qnd failing badly cause these are animals, its not gonna translate

Which is why despite bodies being a big part of my world building project I'm touching the fear of the body aspect of racism, not only because its already a miniscule aspect of racism that gets overly focused on but also because these characters aren't human so its just make me end up in a zootopia situation

IDK, does this make sense, I'm still not sure how I feel about fantasy racism as a trope in general so if you disagree with any points (or all of them) I'd like to hear

idk i think including fantasy racism is fine but you'll have to really deconstruct WHY racism is bad far past the basic "don't descriminate against people" stage, otherwise i think you wont be able to critique it well enough and might end up perpetuating your own biases (it's alright we've all got them)

what i try to remember when writing fantasy racism is that whatever the racist people need to claim about the people they're being racist against NEEDS to be not true in order to be at all analogous to human racism. and it's best if the racism is within one species, so as to not accept the idea that there are genuine genetic differences between races of people, seeing as "race" isnt really a scientific category.

oh, and the bigots should probably try really hard to make it seem credible, to the point that people who don't think they're personally a bigot could even think that the racist ppl are being reasonable sometimes. but at it's core, it needs to just NOT BE TRUE.

like for example in Bright, people are "racist" against the orcs because the orcs sided with a dark overlord in the past (i think). which is an interesting idea, but because bright is clearly making the orcs analogous to black people, it just ends up coming off as really insulting. black people and similarly racially coded minorities didn't side with an evil guy a thousand years ago, that's not why white ppl enslaved and impoverished and murdered us lmao.

like that could be an interesting world building thing about descendants being punished and discriminated against for the actions of ancient ancestors and stuff. but like. they're coded as black people. and that's just NOT MUY BUENO.

zootopia was kind of shit in a lot of ways but one thing i do appreciate and that i think they got right is that the "going feral" thing was a LIE. in the fiction of zootopia, predator animals aren't actually inherently more dangerous. and it wasnt just a LIE it was a CONSPIRACY to play on people's prejudiced fears in order to gain power or something idk i forget. everything else aside i think that was a good call.

and yknow you dont always have to make it a "race" thing specifically. people have been bigoted against each other for their looks for a long time, but race specifically is pretty new. ethnicities and cultures and traditions are also things you can write people to be bigoted against. it doesn't have to be a 1 to 1 analogy for IRL modern day racism in america or anything.

i also enjoy stories like Beastars, where it develops its own worlds premise well enough that it feels more like an exploration of an interesting concept than a clunky racism or sexism analogy.

idk im not even much of a writer. i just like to think about stuff.

[jazzyblusnowflake]

Why not move? I’d never stay in a country that treats its women this way. And you working for the government indirectly supports that. Good luck.

Okay so

i've been mulling over this ever since it came to my inbox and i've been trying to find a way to answer this and NOT be impolite or improper because i am aware that not everyone knows the complications of straight up moving to a different country, as it is not as simple as just moving to a different STATE, like the US, [and to be fair i've heard that even THAT could be stressful] and as someone who has LIVED in 3 countries and has visited another 5+ countries, let me tell you that your question is extremely ignorant and insensitive and straight up hurtful to all the people who both DONT want to leave their communities here and also the people who DO want to leave but are too poor to do so.... because our country, due to the prohibition by good ol' murica has now the lowest money currency value on the PLANET, and we have been suffering in silence for DECADES- with NO way to transfer money into our country- [donation campaigns are usually a scam, pay attention to those please] so in short? we are poor as absolute FUCK-!

and the process of moving somewhere else is already hard enough for people who DONT have as much financial issues, let alone US.

what exactly would anyone propose we do? when we dont have the money to request for any sort of visa, nor to get a house in a different country, nor food, nor for studying, living, getting medical or MENTAL health help- etc etc etc???

and reports of smuggling people out of the country usually come back as human trafficking or the gov blew them up or killed them somehow? idk this has actually happened with a PLANE once-

the only way to leave this country is being filthy rich, fucking LUCKY, or just a very very VERY smart student which again more often than not requires both money AND luck to get accepted in any university... so again.... no money!!!

like im sorry for snapping but here i am being told "why don't you leave" as if i haven't tried to find a way all my life, as if its some sort of sick joke- i cant, i fucking CANT!- i have family members i care about and wouldn't want to leave- other countries treat us like garbage thanks to online media portraying us as monsters- i cant spend another 10 years to study shit all over again just to send a letter to foreign universities with barely enough luck because im NOT that smart at all!! and it reminds me of when i look at my dad and say i wish we lived somewhere else and he looks at me like "then leave" in the cruelest way imaginable because he KNOWS we cant fucking leave due to him being a diplomat-

every country has its own culture and history and communities that they value and want to protect and stand by, so people cant just LEAVE, and even if they do, more often than not, other places would never accept them or appreciate them the same way their own country would. Like did yall tell black people to leave america after the BLM movement when George Floyd got killed? this is our home and we need to stop saying "then leave" and start saying "we need to start fixing this shit"

we are so fucking tired. please stop saying "then leave" if you just "don't want to help"...

as for me working for the gov, my dad is already a diplomat and keeps me away from doing anything against the regime, and also i'm considered one of the LUCKY ones in my country, who has a job that ensures a constant pay since the first semester of UNIVERSITY. im one of the few that could actually have a meal at night without worrying about what i'm going to eat tomorrow, and at the same time i teach kids from the inside to not take shit from the gov. i consider myself VERY lucky.

we aren't playing a videogame to take shallow black and white SIDES- even the protesters have destroyed privet properties and peoples cars and etc etc, and some people straight up want the monarchy system back as if that very system wasn't the entire reason that half of our countries riches and history isn't in the BRITISH museum today instead of their homeland!! this shit started over the freedom to WEAR what we want not to HURT everyone in blind rage!!!

Please never say "just leave" to anyone else ever again, especially to someone who doesn't even know if they'll live another day stepping out of the door, let alone drive all the way to an airport or the country boarders or something.... if they even HAVE the money to go that far.

So thankyou for reading and being concerned in your own way but id rather stay here and die in a country that doesn't accept me as a WOMAN than to live a futureless life in a country that wouldn't even accept me as a PERSON.

[homeofhousechickens]

Do you know if any new color morphs or mutations have developed in chickens comparatively recently? Like horses are constantly inventing new versions of the splash white gene every few years so I'm wondering if anything is happening similar in chickens?

There are a few things that come to mind, the problem with chickens is some color things are not very well studied and isolated yet so we cant really know for certain about some things intill more research is done but ill talk about the the things that are relatively new in the chicken sphere.

Dominant white is a pretty well studied color compared to other chicken colors likely because white leghorns are some of the most common lab chickens. In 2004 scientists discovered a new color on the dominant white locus called Dun!

It works exactly the same as the Blue gene meaning that heterozygous birds with one dose express the dun coloration but homozygous birds are much lighter and have more pigment striped which is called Khaki-just like how blue is blue with one dose and splash with two.

There is quite a few dun birds these days so it isnt like super new but 2004 is still very recent for it getting identified.

Another color was discovered on the dominant white locus called Smokey and was discovered in a non-inbred laboratory breeding line. This mutation was not caused by any retroviruses or the like and seems to have been spontaneous. This line of white leghorns was gathered from several different breeders so they also had leghorns who were not standard colors (such as blue and mottled) in the gene pool which is interesting to me.

Anyway Smokey produced a smokey color extremely similar to heterozygous Blue birds. Smokey only effects black pigment due to it being on the dominant white locus and it breeds true, birds need two copies of the gene to express it. This means you dont need to worry about splash colored birds when breeding blue. This also means that with smokey you could achieve perfect blue red colorlines who breed true, no need to have black and splash pens (so less culling) since smokeys can just produce more smokeys if you breed them together.

It is thought that Smokey exists out there in the chicken hobby but people likely mistake it for blue or a weird dun but who knows as the average chicken hobbist doesnt have lab to do molecular testing on their birds.

Dr. R. Okimoto one of the people who discovered the gene says it could take decades for the gene to be distribed throughout the chicken hobby to be a competitor to Blue and as far as i know right now this gene is only found in America. It will take a long time for this gene to establish a foot hold but im interested to see how it goes.

Another gene that has been identified by hobbyists is Dull Black, it has no symbol and is not found in scientific literature (yet). Its also known as Recessive Black. Basically it acts as an autosomal recessive and darkens and dulls the feather. Birds who are Dull Black typically do not show iridescence on any part of their feathers even the tail and hackles. Having seen some very dark but incredibly matte looking chickens before i do believe this gene exists and can be readily found. In theory this color would be the perfect color base for Dun and Khaki to act on and might produce some more even toned birds but who knows. Dull black only seems to appear on birds on the Extended Black, Birchen, and Brown bases. Some people argue that this color might actually be misidentified Smokey and others might think its a spontaneously very dark blue bird that popped on in their line one day. Unfortunately we will never really know intill it is replicated and isolated but its likely that Dull Black is some kind of melanizing gene or ever a group of genes that have a slightly different expression then what we typically see in black chickens.

Also whatever the hell Rob's super iridescent chickens got going on (The purple poultry project) i hope he is able to get his birds some testing in the future to see whats allowing the feathers to have such beautiful shine and color.

Hope you enjoyed my infodump

[draculagerard]

if you would pretty please ignore the fact that i'm sending this 4 hours after I said I started the episode that'd be cool thanks <3 k so basically I took tiny notes while watching the episode (you gotta watch this stuff in moderation or else you're gonna turn to goop) so this is A: unfiltered Belle thoughts and B: the real life closest you'll get to me live blogging spn

Ok ok so I’ve seen the pilot before obviously but like actually what a traumatic start like fr even just thinking about it as it’s own thing it’s just woah wft

ADRIANNE PALICKI?!?!?!?! I FORGOT SHE WAS IN THIS I LOVE HER

Y'know what? Dean breaking in and fighting Sam in the middle of the night is realistic sibling representations me and my brother are like that too

“Dad’s been on a hunting trip and hasn’t been home in a few days” WHAA WHOMP

Yo fuck their dad actually

Ghost lady has her reasons. I trust her

Actually after consuming some media from like America I’ve realized the my understanding and usage of salt circles vastly varies from other people’s because in my culture when we put sal- [GUNSHOT] <- I’m protecting you from a whole spiel of random facts

Yeah ok when doors with locks like those lock it’s stupidly hard to unlock them without the button but it’s not impossible come on man

KILL HER WITH GUNS I GUESS (also she totally had her reasons I still trust her. God forbid women do anything)

Mmmmm gotta love that good old 2005 CGI

ADRIANNE PALICKI NOOOOOO

[end belle deranged ramblings I do have a meme tho 1 sec]

dont worry i feel that for rea. but also feel free to send me unfiltered thoguths i will enthusiastically read an essay of incoherent thoughts

YEAH !!! SHES HERE

for REAL oh my god

say the line Dean!!!!!

FUCK their dad. i hate John Winchester fuck his stupid ass

yeah

NOO not my random facts........ Belle...... i need to know

YEAH SDKJDSKJF

FAIR WARNING. this is literally the entire fucking show. hold on i have a post about this too

DFJFJDS yeah it's so funky

YEAAAHHH RIP TO HER FOR REAL

episode one comes to an end <3

[leopoldainter]

Has intdn viti doze rtini

Brocoli notes datetimezl8semeleauthigh bloody snot moving run. Nyday Questionable. Al.con;parantky.

Airport booked all day

Well did you test with the dip or the stik

Which colbasic

Lower than 5 I thought 6styrofoam clumps or flatbrittke breaks covalent lain at. Nothndm Sept it's not supposed to get microwaved. Butif its just coffee we should be fin

Good they only had Urbel. BAOLYS Urbel its flush with the table

I can't get that in my thermos. I added coffee mate french Vanilla idont worry hot plastic food poison. If I think something was really bad I brush my teeth after I gemin8 yet

So Gramercy sploded. We dont accept that you don't need the help we're a snkylzin sequels with stopwatch usanamwrican film hero on mountain side all night long

Then you should skip the dishes and ski for the thrill of ths chase. See ski lifts on belkacapri get to the shopping and restaurants quickly weave this harbor traditional customs transit ferry of about what a coach can carry worth of hungover teens it's Naples. The good one. See. Garbage bags rubbish port. Garbage cru8se strike till they cancel the gatba piled yup here's what happened tram got stuck so they gave up. Pope urban.

I am as involved as I can be I assure you an ms clinton.

Sure looks busy effectively wear it all thrown on so that. And senator, cabinet,desk retard. Do I feel faint we got a cement block to booty no time.

Sliding doors no that's normal

Hasty uncredited m.Cary remember Drewk Canread

Also, Mr. GUERTin loath of vibrant action of polishedsidearm started claiming A tenant B whose pet snake can get around let said snake eat his cat. It was hard on the twins Mel and Laura.

They literally look like when Job Steams his mom's face with Adobe Free 1-click then iconic selecting which row on the desktop.WECRUN RAID it's super fast.

Evereba datum stakes itself somepl dity

Some times just having your eye sight the fuel combustion before recognize hate when fires happen.

No I know it's cooked now I'm wantbove smoke so sovot and flame

Somer luvuh

It's spark street but hey did yoy see where some ants go

So many people interested in getting to the bottom of this colony

So this summer this sidesidewalk stayed closed the whole Tumblr. At this point there's fencing at corner no we work on this side you walk on yhar

Porta potty

Parked a few cement blocks in the road

Obviously there using g strength outside gym so since it's almost September the port a potty is on the other end of flag bridge from chain linked can't reach button.

Well run or

Walk overpress

This is where they found out they don't use the passworded wifi so another truck backPtafd no one's alowed to use it.

Tips over onto the road every morning but we have the government stationed backhoe and what's yhis

Better green refund. For nunes bulb or there bright voltorb but mostly potion. I can't garden and pokemon

When will I need a jizzball

This is a promilotiona acc.s given to stubborn at theaters in america. Leave it on display.

He doesn't need anything more to hold.

At this point nothing to lose just some thing to choose

All of it I would one drainskims into net it's what does den Noosi.teo

Broccoli in the two step fearmar.

[fantasy-anatomy-analyst]

Okay my life got unexpectedly busy so I dont have art for this, but:

10 concepts for architecture, furniture, and minor lifestyle details when writing societies of winged people (any wing type)

1. Since people fly all the time, most of the buildings are probably up higher, with walkways between them. Winged people would invent amazing suspension bridges long before they invented a wheel (see also: the mountainous regions of central and south america, where wheels are not very useful, but bridges are extremely important)

2. Doorways would probably be wider and taller to better accommodate wings, no matter how they're held at rest (ex: if you want fairies with dragonfly wings, their rest position is out to the sides. So wide doorways would be important.) And doors would more likely be sliding doors rather than hinged doors (so you don't have to worry about stepping back and aside for the door, you can just walk through and not risk having your wings bump stuff)

3. Speaking of wings bumping things! Tall ceilings, wide hallways, and absolutely zero breakable objects at potential wing bumping height. The walls are basically bare from shoulder height on down.

4. Hammocks and nests instead of beds. Any form of sleep furniture must be built to let people comfortably sleep on their stomachs, possibly curled up into a fetal position with their knees beneath them. Lots of pillow piles. In the same vein, any lounging furniture would be built with either no back or a very low back. Maybe things like couches and chairs that just have a single armrest to lean against, but no back. Lots of sideways lounging. Any tables would have stools rather than full backed chairs.

5. Wing care is important. This will vary based on the style of wing you're using. Feathery wings will more likely lead to a culture of social grooming and feager combs. Maybe every bedroom has a wall with a feather comb to rub up against. Chairs that seat two so they can help each other groom their feathers. Bat wings would need regular bathing routines, probably some very nice large tubs in their homes for a proper washing, also a social grooming culture around that. Insect wings, I'm not sure exactly. They don't need cleaning the same way. But they are easier to damage. And we know from real life that they can be repaired and replaced! So perhaps a society of people with insect wings would get very very good at prosthetics and wing modification.

6. Wing flapping creates wind. So maybe people would hang up windchimes to hear when people come and go. Theres a lot of wing flapping involved in the landing process, so wind chimes would be an effective way to notice when someone has just landed at your doorstep.

7. Big windows, easily opened. Sometimes you just dont want to use a door. The door is the formal entrance, but windows and skylights are the causal entrances and exits.

8. Consider nomadic winged people who migrate seasonally: they would probably develop a lot of lightweight gear to help them migrate with all their belongings. Hammocks, communal huddling, possibly advanced cartography skills, special devices to distribute weight between multiple fliers carrying a large object together. Special carrying devices to hold children, elders, and the injured.

9. The outsides of every building would have many perches, especially social buildings. Rooftops are just another social space. Ladders are commonly used by anyone who cant fly for any reason.

10. Pretty much anything they make is going to be lightweight but hard to break. More carved wood dishes than ceramic ones, archery more than swords, very light clothing with open backs. But paper maybe not so much. It blows around too easily. Maybe they invent voice and image recording devices sooner than other people so they can more reliably record information in flight.

And that's 10 ideas for world building with winged people! @wolfeyedwitch I hope this is helpful to you! And to anyone else who may have been having trouble thinking up little details for their own winged folks.

[halfusek]

I saw your reblog of the Squid Game analysis and I was just wondering...Are you okay with communism/socialist ideologies? I mean, you're a commie/socialist yourself? Of yes, why? Don't mean to be rude or anything, it's just a genuine question

well! i think that post is pretty self explanatory? i dunno if you read it but it explains a few things that suck about capitalism that are portrayed in the show (because squid game is criticism of capitalism)

i really see myself as more of a centrist if you can even say something like that truly exist: most politicians swing to the right, what's called "the left" is usually something less right or centrist, at least from what i've observed in countries where i'm more familiar with politics

i actually had/have a pretty hard time talking about modern "communism" and socialism because i come from a country that got really traumatized by soviets and communism by extension so i've basically always associated it negatively but i try to be more open minded

i don't wanna dedicate myself to praising any sort of system, i want to be critical and see what's good or bad about each of them

i personally really dislike when people put up communism/socialism on a pedestal because from the history of my country i know very well its not perfect and in fact you can use that system for horrible terrible things too so when people don't think critically of it that makes me really worried history may repeat itself someday

(and if someone denies soviets doing anything wrong then i hope they get hit by a car </3 i've seen/heard of asinine takes like that)

also i'm not at all comfortable with using ussr imageries (even just in memes), they make me feel in similiar ways seeing nazi imageries does

like would it really be so hard for socialist to use a different flag and symbols haha people were tortured and killed and terrorized in the name of this one but whatever that's not what you're asking me about i just wanted to put it out somewhere

capitalism did help the situation in my country after it was freed from the influence of ussr so i dont and cannot think that its straight up evil

that made it also kinda hard for me for a while to be critical of capitalism and think positively of socialist ideas but i've been trying to educate myself, i talked to various people who have different views and my horizons got broader

so yes capitalism is flawed and socialism isnt perfect but it surely has a lot of good ideas that can improve our quality of life and its not like capitalism doesnt have fucked up past and well present

i take one look at america and its clear to me that it needs more socialist ideas there, like... god free healthcare just should be everywhere. period. i cant imagine being afraid to call an ambulance because of a huge bill that would come after

so i guess my position is complex haha? but yep i am okay with those and i think a lot of them are very good, its just that the image of socialism was pretty demonized because of the past

countries like the scandinavian ones implement plenty of socialist ideas and they are doing great and ive lived in one and i was amazed at how easy it is to just function as a citizen there

i'm being there a bit more honest than i should maybe but i think we should try to explain and conversate calmly about these topics, especially that i myself would get just angry at a mere mention of socialism few years ago because of the way i was raised and the politics i was mainly familiar with sooo maybe my progress on getting better with being critical of systems like that can help someone else idk

i know past me definitely would have used that instead of hearing "capitalism evil" or "communism evil" only all the time without no further (calm) elaboration lol

[7soulstars]

Hello :) I hope it's okay to send a request (if not, then I'm sorry about it ) So maybe where Bucky lives on Clint's farm to get away from everything but then there comes this woman, Clints best friend besides Nat and he immediately wants to know her better.. after a while they get really close and develope feelings for each other but dont talk about it. So one night, she stays over and needs to share a room with Buck, things get heated and passionate between them ? :) then it's all cuddly? ❤️

Hey darling! Thank you so much for requesting! I am so sorry it took me so long! I blame it on my lazy ass and also on the many pending requests. Thank you so much for being this patient with me! I really hope you like this one!

Мой целитель

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Broken Bonky Babie, Avengers are teasing little shits, Steve leaves like in the movies and doesn’t come back (I want to kill him for that), Fluff, Shy Bonky and Y/N, Liddle angst, Both idiots doubt themselves, Y/N likes beating the fuck out of bullies a.k.a Violence, steamy stuff but not smut ( cuz I don’t write smut”

Summary: Someone managed to make Bucky accept the fact that everyone can heal. 

..............

Мой целитель ; (pronounced: Moy tselitel') Russian for My Healer

War never ends. It just rests. One day someone will come to ask your help that is when the rest of war is over again.

That is what Bucky has always been of the belief ever since before and after endgame. Ever since Steve left, most of Bucky did too. Yes, he had Sam and the others but Steve was the only part of his original past left and he couldn’t even stop him.

He decided that the rest period for his war conflicted heart had started when Clint had offered him a place to live at his farmhouse to ‘heal and stay away from the space bullshit’. 

Not to brag but he had fit right into the little family. The kids loved Uncle Bucky and Laura appreciated the extra help she got with the house. Sam and Natasha would come by every two days and the rest every once a week. They would go visit a bar and hang out. That was Bucky’s life now. That was his routine.

Clint had sudddenly announced one fine weekly team hangout day that his long time best friend would be joining them. Bucky couldn’t care less. He had seen people come in and out of the Barton house all the time. Most sending him glares due to his past. He couldn’t blame them. Not when he knew he would do the same in different set of circumstances.

But he was proved wrong. Y/N was an angel. More so to him. Not a single glare was directed at him by her the entire time. She just smiled sweetly. Maybe he did care a little bit.

Y/N turned out to be Lila and Cooper, Clint’s first two children’s godmother. She had finally come home after 15 years of being in and out of the country for her job. Clint had mentioned that every time she came back she would first visit the kids not forgetting to bring them gifts from everywhere and how the snap had worried her. So Bucky was not surprised when he had to get three kids off of her as she entered the house. His heart swelled when she said ‘Thank You’, although everyone said that. 

He was unusually getting attached to her and that scared him.

After Steve attatchment was difficult. Trust was difficult. But Y/N made it seem like child's play. She somehow completely saw through him. Almost as if she knew everything about him and he was confused by that.

Especially at those little moments when he felt hesitant.

Bucky was a handsome man no doubt and that meant some women were confident enough to ask hit on him everytime he was out at a restaurant or a bar with the others. Y/N would join them quite often and on one such day she saved Bucky from his anxiety issues.

"Hey.....you come here quite often.....can I buy you a drink ?", a very confident girl had managed to come up to the table and asked Bucky who looked at her with eyes as blown out as big as saucers and immediately looked down stuttering as he tried to politely reject the lady. A hand carefully wrapped around his metal arm as he realized Y/N had said "I'm sorry he's taken", before sending the girl as kind smile which had lead to Bucky's hair-hidden neck to go red.

Bucky had excused himself to the washroomas the rest relentlessly teased his popularity but he had not noticed Y/N following suit.

"I'm sorry", she had apologised leaving the other puzzled again. "W-why?" "I should have asked before touching you....I know-I know you don't like being touched....I'm sorry". There was pure sincerity in her voice "NO!",his own voice startled him and her as she looked at him in confusion. "I-I mean I'm glad....You helped me out there......Also.....",there was hesitation in Bucky's heart, "Also....I don't mind if you touch me Y/N".

That day onwards something changed. Significantly so, Bucky found himself calling and hanging out with Y/N more. She filled his thoughts would be one way of saying that and the Avengers noticed. So the next time Bucky tried to sneak out of the farm when the others were there Sam noticed, “Hey Hey Hey ! Where are you sneakin to ?”. The other stood frozen like a deer in the headlights staring down at his best friend like he had been caught doing something he shouldn’t be. Nat smirked as she bit on her grilled cheese sandwich sing songing, “He’s going to meet Y/N~~”Bucky grumbled a little ‘Shut up Nat’ before taking the car out towards the bar.

“Buck !”, she had yelled waving as he smiled and pulled her into his arms for a hug and staying like that for a few minutes both eventually hesitantly letting go. Joe the bartender already having set up their regular drinks showed how often they frequented the place, even having seats that were almost always empty for just the two of them. 

After meeting Y/N, Bucky realised new things about himself. He liked sweet stuff more than savoury. He liked playing games at the arcade. He was definately much more open to technology than Steve ever was. He liked being spoiled and babied. And he was extremely serious about board games. He knew all this because Y/N made him realize that.

That day he found out another thing. He likes staring at Y/N looking at the sunset. In other words he likes Y/N. But he had promised himself to not act on it. He didn’t want to loose her. Not now, not ever.

Walking through a dark alley way was not something Bucky liked but with Y/N it was something he was starting to hate. Y/N is beautiful. Obliviously so. He could sense sleazy men staring at her but chose to stay put. But we all know that rouse wasn’t going to stay put for long considering a group of 3 men surrounding the two of them all eyeing Y/N. “Hey sweetheart why don’t you come with us ? We counld have a darn sweet night”, exclaimed the one that looked like the leader as the other two laughed behind him. “Back off”, Bucky had warned. He didn’t want to fight. He felt like he’d embarrass himself before Y/N. “Ohhh look who it is The Winter Soldier”, the other said mockingly. “What are you going to do? Kill me? You don’t have Captain America now to back you up do you ?”. Before Bucky could even reply the third guy let out a scream at which everyone turned to look at him to see him cradling what seemed like a freshly broken wrist and before he could even react the second one went flying into a pile of trash (where he belongs) and the main commentator’s head was being bashed strait onto the road by Y/N’s hand. “No, but he does does have an ex-black ops now turned into a CIA Agent to back him up”, she quipped seethingly through her teeth.

Bucky said nothing. His brain was still processing the information he was bombarded with. He walked Y/N to her car and drove back to Clint’s all while still processing.

So when Sam (who was just about to leave) asks “How was it ?” Bucky looks him in the eye and goes.

“I’m in love with Y/N.”

Tony had decided to prank Clint one fine day and told everyone that Clint was hosting a sleepover. So that meant Clint had to accomodated several idiots into his farmhouse. Within this chaos he also had a very great idea.

So when Y/N was pushed into Bucky’s room both stopped functioning.

Y/N spotted him angrily whispering into is phone as she got out of the shower. Throwing his phone into oblivion ,startled, when she called name out suddenly. “Y-You’re done ? Uhhhh you can take the bed doll, I’ll take the floor”,Bucky hates the floor but if it meant Y/N would be comfortable, he’d be ready to sleep on a block of ice. “Nope definately not ! We can share the damn bed Buck the floor uncomfortable !”, she argued. “ No Y/N you don’t understand I can’t !” “WHY! IS IT BECAUSE I MADE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE AFTER THAT DAY ?”, there was a grave silence between the two. He knew exactly what she was talking about. Bucky’s eyes soften and for the first time he realizes that he had never thaken the effort to know more about Y/N. He was focused on her helping him find himself. “Why would you say that ?” ,he said softly as he moved towards her and she moved backwards. “Because it is what it is isn’t it?”, she retorted. “NO IT IS NOT !”, Bucky sighed as he sat on the bed and watched the woman of importance as she paced around the room. “Why then Bucky ? You’ve been distant from me since that day....” “You won’t understand.....” “Try me” “I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU OKAY !” 

12 minutes. It had been 12 minutes since Y/N had froze and stared at Bucky. 

“Shut up. You’re lying” , she finally said.

“What ? No ! Why would I lie about that”,Bucky argued

“Because ! You are James Buchanan Barnes ! One of the most attractive men I have seen in my life period.”

“And here I’m the one firmly believing someone like me doesn’t even stand a change with someone as pretty as you.”

“See, you’re lying again”

“Doll, shut up before I will have to make you”, he warned

“Don’t make empty threats that you won’t fulfill James”, she challenged.

And with that Bucky has Y/N slammed into the bed , his mouth moving roughly along her’s as she puts her arms around his. There was something different about this Bucky. Y/N felt every single pent up frustration that the man kissing her had felt supressing his feelings had felt.

Soon enough they seperated, finally gasping for air. Bucky plopped beside Y/N as she placed her palm on his cheek rubbing a thumb over it while smiling at him blissfully. 

“Take my hand

Take my whole life too

For I can't help falling in love with you”

“I love you...”, she said and somehow Bucky knew he had tears running down his cheeks. He curled into her arms. Clint’s loud speakers playing Elvis as the two dozed off to sleep. But Bucky waited for her to doze off, kissing her forehead as he ran his metal arm through her hair.

“Мой целитель, I love you too”, he said. 

He wasn’t alone anymore. He was healed. His internal war had ended forever. That’s all he ever wanted. That’s all he was thankful for.

---The End---

Guess who almost cried writing this fic? That’s right! ME. Now I need myself a Bucky to hug. I really hope you liked this fic and I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH ON HOW MUCH I APPRECIATE YOU BEING SO PATIENT WITH ME! Please like, share, comment and reblog if you like my work to support me ! Please do not plagarise my hard work and thank you so much for reading! 

~Love, Hri

[weabooweedwitch]

I don’t want this to come across as, like, pity because it’s not and I’m sure you don’t want that, I mean this in the normalest, friendliest, least parasocial way possible because having followed you for years and spoke to you a few times it sucks that you are in this situation and have had to repeatedly go through it: can we help you somehow? Ko fi donations, Amazon wishlist, therapy fund etc? Is there anything we could do to make things a little more bearable?

For one I just wanna say that it actually just in itself means a lot that people are wanting to help me or at least vocally reaching out because like.. this is such a big world we're living in and its so easy to feel like i dont mean shit or matter for shit or can change shit at all so its nice to know that like. I dunno.. im glad i was able to kinda find this space for myself because like i dont really have a social life and without you guys (using "you guys" as a general word for all of my online friends rn) i wouldn't have anyone else to turn to

And also I don't perceive you guys wanting to help me as pity at all and really its kind of just validation because I'm basically 24/7 doubting myself and "am I valid for x, am I valid for y" so when im having kind of a crisis and people actually say "shit bro you ok" that feels better than like. I dunno. What does mother usually say. Stuff that's meant to be supportive but is kind of just toxic positivity like "You're overreacting and don't even think about it" which, those can be valid grounding techniques but like, you usually try and soothe the initial feeling first and then tell yourself not to think about it if you're obsessing over it

So I typed up what accidentally turned into a huge paragraph but, as nice as an Amazon wishlist sounds --because it makes me feel good people like me and gifts are always nice of course-- I would feel guilty for even making that public, and, to be realistic, my rent is very cheap and the only reason I don't have a lot of savings is because I keep spending money on bullshit. I kind of need to exercise restraint and actually save money because uh like I've been working for like 2 or 3 years now and I basically still have what I started with. So. I guess TLDR is "i would feel guilty accepting gifts i can technically afford for myself and also I would feel like a total chump beggar 😔". Maybe when I learn more self kindness I'll feel less guilt accepting gifts I guess? Where i am right now, it just feels like I'm being, I dunno, manipulative

Monetary donations are kind of the same and I'm stricter on that and try not to take money unless there's some kind of emergency. I do worry about money a lot but its usually always in the "how can I support myself on my own in the future" sense. I mean, most people put away a small part of every paycheck, but my savings account actually kind of expired and got closed so I just have the one checking one and uh, it's easy for me to keep pulling out of it, you know 💀 but that circles back to "i have to personally learn how to exercise financial restraint" and also like. Let's not. Think about how all the socioeconomic policies in America aren't even remotely in my control so I should uh try and ignore that technically no job is paying enough and everyone has to have roommates or a spouse to afford anything 😅

And also. Yeah I'm ok on like therapy funds and stuff because I'm actually on state insurance, actually I'm trying to cut down my work hours to guarantee I stay in the right financial bracket so I can keep it. I was talking to a couple people last night and I might consider going to a doctor again soon but im really hesitant about it. It kinda seems like I need a more thorough evaluation from a psychiatrist and. Well.

I think my first "big goal" for right now is that I should put some money aside and. Uh. Well. Kinda quit my job for a while so I can focus on those sorts of things. I feel really bad even saying that but the fact is, the fact is, im a person with severe mental illness and depression and my current job involves random strangers constantly constantly treating me like shit and sometimes getting very verbally abusive and aggressive and sometimes just having someone suddenly approach me can be very startling? Did I ever tell you guys about the time a random older man just came up from behind me and briefly grabbed me from behind? It was ad a joke and I was on edge watching my peripheral vision for motion that entire week

So I guess to make a long story short I think I should. Focus on what I want to do in terms of medicine right now and really fight to pursue the fact I think some really important diagnoses have been missed, and to do that without a lot of stress, to have a flexible schedule to see a doctor, I think the best decision is to take off work for a while, which I think is a good idea anyways? So to do that with a clear conscience I just want to have a few months of my portion of rent and then some extra in my bank account so I won't have to stress about immediately getting back to work or getting a new job. Because that's another decision I have to make: for I want to brave the current job market and look for another job and risk the one I currently have.

Long answer is long but I have a lot of thoughts right now 💀 talking with you guys has been a huge help in of itself so thats the only payment I'll accept for right now 🥰

[kornito]

SOURCE: https://korngiant.tripod.com/kornisgoodforu/id10.html

Dead

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

All I want in life is to be happy", it's that simple. People say that it's become their own anthem. It's like whenever I start to feel good, something comes and takes it away and I feel like I'm nothing again, like I'm dead.

Falling Away From Me

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

The song is about domestic abuse and that there ways to get help whether it's telling someone or calling a help line, there are ways to get out of those situations. Noone has to be treated like that.

Trash

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

"Trash" is about how I threw my world and everything out. I threw her away. I threw my old self away. It basically comes back down to the sex thing. The battles I did on the road, this whole album is what I went through because I was on the road and I went crazy.

Beg for Me

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

"Beg For Me" is more of an angry thing because the whole thing for "Beg For Me" is the crowd. The only time I was good on tour was when I walked up onstage and that's what the song is about. Feeling wanted is something one thing I've always needed. I was shuffled around so much when I was a kid...Being up onstage was the only point was the only time when my anxiety would go away for an hour.

Make Me Bad

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

I need to feel the sickness in you" ... It's spawned from f**kin', basically, from having sex. That's where that line comes from, but it means a whole bunch of things to me. "Make Me Bad" was about the battles I had being on the road, being married and being with other women. I'm not married anymore... beause of my lifestlyle, and I just couldnt do that to my wife anymore. So that ended. But does it make me bad that I have a dick and I have f**ken other feelings to be with other people? Why should I be with just one? It seems like human beings are genetically engineered to procreate. Thats what we do, f**k everything, and that's what our natural insides want to do. It is hard to find someone like that. But she was a good woman and I didnt want to keep on... I did the right thing, I was a man about it. It was better for me to tell her and let her go on with her life and find someone who could help her and be like that. So that song was spawned by that, does it make me bad to want to be with other women? In a sence it was my only drug, why... because I dont drink anymore, I cant drink. I've been sober for a year. I dont have any other vices. So at least doing that could be something.

Hey Daddy

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

"Hey Daddy" where I was schizophrenic and there were these voices telling me to do sh*t... To kill myself, basically. Daddy is one of my nicknames, so its like I'm talking to myself the whole time. It's hard to explain.

Dirty

Song Meaning: Jonathan

"I feel like a fucking whore to record companies." "You know how it is...the way we are used and marketed." "How they make all the money off us and we don't make shit!" "The only way we make money is to go out on tour and sell merchandise" "Basiclly we write all the music and turn in and they make all the money." "So I feel like that and also I feel like a slut cuz I'd go out at night and fucking girls and so I said fuck it, I'm going to do it. The only way to escape is to have sex." "Its all kind of different issues."

Its On!

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

It's On is my sh*t peer pressure song. Me being so stressed out going out and partying. Everybody's just going 'Come on dude, it's on.' That's partying, it's alcohol, cocaine, women. All that wrapped into one. I wrote a song about it. And the chorus I talked about Why am I really doing this? It's all my fault that I'm doing this because all the alcohol, the booze an the chicks do is just make it worse. They just rearrange all the problems in a different order that I can deal with at that moment.

Freak on a Leash

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

One of the best titles I've heard ever for a song. That's my song against the music industry. Like me feeling like I'm f**kin' a pimp, a prostitute. Like I'm paraded around. I'm this freak paraded around but I got corporate America f**kin' making all the money while it's taking a part of me. It's like they stole something from me, they stole my innocence and I'm not calm anymore. I worry constantly.

Got the Life

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

That's a song baggin' on myself. How everything's always handed to me. How I look up to God and don't want this anymore. Like I want something more out of life than all this. And I've got everything I really need but I sometimes don't like. I don't know how to explain it. I have to let it sit through the songs more to actually get into what I write. I truly know, really, the meanings of the songs almost. That's what I'm getting out of it right now.

Dead Bodies Everywhere

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

That was the song about my parents trying to keep me out of the music business. My father was in it and he knew how it was and I totally understand now that I have a son. I want Nathan to be a musician but I him don't want him to go through the hell I went through. That's the same thing my Dad was doing. A lot of people can relate to it, because it's like the Dad's wanting their sons to be football players and their sons want to be doctors or something. That peer pressure its like trying to make them something they're really not. And the Dead Bodies thing is like so I did it and all I got out of it was dead bodies everywhere and got all traumatized. Thanks a lot Dad, Mom.

Children of the Korn

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

That's the song that Ice Cube is on Cube came up with the title. I fed off of what he wrote, he was talking about growing up and puberty. Dictating what he can do, like how you gonna tell me how to live and who to f**k? And all this stuff. And I took that and in my stuff I was talking about being a kid always known as the f**kin' town faggot. It's funny how things change. That some of these people picked on me and all of a sudden look who's laughing now. Also in another of the verse I talked about all these parents f**kin hating me for what I do, saying I'm corrupting their children, but in turn these parents need to step outside of themselves and really listen to what I'm talking about. Then I think they can understand that they were kids before. They're just really quick to judge me. All the Children of The Korn are all our Korn fans. All those kids going through that sh*t and feeling what I feel.

B.B.K.

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

Big black cock! That's what I call a jack and coke. Those little glasses they serve in Europe and everything. That's what I named it, big black cock. And that's another song about me dealing with the pressures of this album and how I, you know, I'm trying to kill myself, but you know? Do I really want to kill myself? Things I'm just questioning myself. Most of this is self-structured.

Pretty

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

It's a story about this little girl that came into the coroner's office when I was working there and she was f**ked by her dad. She was an 11 month old little baby girl. Her legs were broken back behind her and he just f**ked her like a toy doll and chucked her in the bathroom. It was the most heinous thing I've ever seen in my life and I still have nightmares about it.

All in the Family

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

Fred was there after Korn TV and we said, 'Let's do a song together, Hey, man, let's go back and forth and rip on each other like an old school battle.' I don't know who's idea it was, I can't remember if it was mine or Fieldy's or Fred's but we came up with the idea and we started writing and we worked on it together. I came up with some bags on myself for Fred to say. It was all in good natured fun.

Reclaim My Place

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

This one is about the whole band and about all my life being called a homosexual. And then I became this big rock star in a band and I'm still called a fag even by my own band. So it's like I was f**kin' pissed off at them. It's like erase them all because I'm gonna reclaim my place and say hey, they owe a lot to me for what I did, and I owe a lot to them back. But, it still kinda sucks. I've never ever gotten away from that fag f**kin' title. Just because I'm a sensitive kinda guy. Kinda feminine it really sucks.

Justin

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

Justin, that was the kid dying terminally with intestinal cancer. His last dying wish was to meet us and it really freaked me out. That threw a whole bunch of new kind of pressures on my head. That's really intense. Someone's gonna die and his last thing he wants to do is come hang out with us. So I truly just freaked out. It's like why would you want to meet me? What makes me so special? And in turn I talk about how I admire his strength and his life. I couldn't stare at him because he was so content he was gonna die. No one could look him in the eyes. And I totally admire his strength. I wish I had it.

Seed

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

Seed. That's all about the same thing again. I laying in bed in my hotel room, thinking about do I really need all this stuff? All this pressure on me? Because I'm a stressed out freak. It's about Nathan, it's about every time that I look into his eyes, I see myself how I used to be, innocent and stress free. I'm kind of jealous of it. It really sucks, I used to be that way. It's like I have to work so hard at this thing in my life. I have to become a stressed out freak. I put food on the table for my child. Every time I look in his eyes, I just see myself staring right back at my @ss laughing. I was like care free, innocent as a child. It's really weird and I'm really jealous of it.

Cameltosis

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

That's a love song. It's about women in general, women who hurt me. It's Tre's lyrics. He's going on about chicks and my chorus is like I'm so scared to love anyone and really let them in after I got hurt really really bad by a girl. I've let Renee in a little bit, to be honest, but I'll never be that in love ever again. That's what I'm saying, if you've loved twice, you're gonna get f**ked, 'cause you usually do.

My Gift to You

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

Renee always wanted me to write her a love song and that's why I called it My Gift To You. It's my gift to her, you know how I get sick. I always had a fantasy of f**king her and choking her to death. I fantasize about what it would look like me in her body and watching me do it. So it's like a really sick f**ked up song. I did it totally like, I love her so much, I want to take her out of this world. It's really strange. She used to leave notes on my pillow like 25 ways she'd like to kill me. She's got this weird death fetish. We're kinda f**kin' freaky. She got it. She's all 'Thank you that's kinda f**ked up. I was expecting a f**kin' I love you, baby kinda song.' I'm all, 'No, you know me.' I mean I can't do that.

Chi

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

Chi is about a lot of alcohol and drug abuse. People turn to that when they have problems so that they won't have to feel their pain. The song was named after Chi Cheng from the Deftones. We named it after him because he used to call it reggae, and he loves reggae music.

Lost

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

It's the sterotypical thing about your best friend meeting a chick, and then you're nothing

Swallow

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

That's about being paranoid. Drug-induced paranoia.

Good God

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

It's about a guy I knew in school who I thought was a my friend, but who f**ked me. He came into my life with nothing, hung out at my house, lived off me, and made me do sh*t I didn't really wanna do." "I was into new romantic music and he was a mod, and he'd tell me if I didn't dress like a mod he wouldn't be my friend anymore."

"Whenever I had plans to go on a date with a chick he'd sabotage it, because he didn't have a date or nothing. He was a gutless f**king nothing. I haven't talked to him for years.

Mr. Rogers

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

Back in the day when I was a speed freak, um... even further back when I was a little kid watchin' Mr. Rogers, that sh*t was scary. He was a freaky old man... Land of Makebelieve and Mr. f**kinMcFeely and sh*t... made me sick. So back when I was doing speed, like for 5 or 6 days I'd be trippin out and my brain would start to get freaky and get schizophrenic and stuff, and I'd tape it and watch it everyday over and over... I don't know, I was sick in the head. As a kid he told me to be polite and all it did was get me picked on. I f**king hate that man. Thanks for making me polite and trusting everyone, and easy to take advantage of. So I spent 3 months on that one song, just tweakin' on it, and it was totally just my Mr. Rogers obsession, about how evil I thought he was. Pretty much drug induced.

K @ # Ø % (Kunt)

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

People think it's sexist but it isn't. It's more subconcious b*tching at all the women who've been with me in my life. It's not about women in feneral, just those women who hurt me." "Initially, we wrote it to send to American radio for a joke, because they always chop up all the other songs. So we were going to send a 'real' single seven days later."

A.D.I.D.A.S.

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

It stands for all day I dream about sex. It's about how much of a pervert my ass is, and how I daydream about what a stud I am. But when it comes down to it, I'm a f**king pussy and I'm in there jacking off.

a** Itch

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

That was the last song I wrote, and I was so burned at writing out lyrics because everytime I write I get depressed because I start thinking about things, you know? So the whole song is about that. In the chorus it says, 'Before day, my sun will be dying'. It's because I put myself on the line all the time and for what? Because people aren't going to be listening to it anyway.

Kill You

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

It's about a relative I first met when I was 12. I f**king hate that b*tch. She's the most evil, f**ked up person I've met in my whole life. She hated my guts. She did everything she could to make my life hell. Like, when I was sick she'd feed me tea with Tabasco, which is really hot pepper oil. She'd make me drink it and say, 'You have to burn that cold out, boy'. f**ked up sh*t like that. So every night when I'd go to sleep, I'd dream of killing that b*tch. In some sick way I had a sexual fantasy about her, and I don't know what that stems from or why, but I always dreamt about f**king her and killing her

Ball Tongue

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

The meaning of ball tongue is simple. Some thought it had to do with oral sex, but in fact its about a guy we had to work with on a t-shirt (Jeff Creath). He either had a pierced tongue or a wart or something on his tongue and he was a dick to us.

Different live: Jonathan goes into a Rap (by Coolio) Called "Loddi Doddi" in the middle of the song.

Clown

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

Korn was playing a show in San Diego for a clothing card. This skinhead guy came up and started flippin' me off. When we started, I bent down and the guy took a swing at me. Our tour manager, Jeff, got into it and knocked the guy out. I wrote this song about him: 'Scared to be honest with yourself/you're a cowardly man.

Faget

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

Everyone thinks I'm bashing gay people in this song, and I'm not. It's really about me going through high school being called 'pussy,' 'queer' and all that stuff, about getting picked on by all these jocks.

Shoots and Ladders

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

It was written because all these little kids sing these nursery rhymes and they don't know what they originally meant. Everyone is so happy when singing but 'London Bridge' is about the Black Plague. All of them have these evil stories behind them." "The lyrics are all from nursery rhymes, and a lot of nursery rhymes go back to the Middle Ages. They're actually pretty twisted if you know the stories behind them, like about Black Death and stuff.

Helmet in the Bush

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

It's about a speed problem that I had. You know, you do a lot of speed and -- if you're a male -- your penis retracts severly. The guy heard at the beginning of the song is La Caco, a friend of the band. His real name is Michael and likes taco bell. He's a really Nice Guy and he has been friends with the band for years

Daddy

Song Meaning, Jonathan:

People think daddy' was writen because my dad f**ked me up the ass,thats not what the song's about. It wasn't about my dad or my mum. When I was a kid I was being abused by someone else and I went to my parents and told them about it. and they thought I was lying and joking around, they never did sh*t about it. They didn't belive it was happening to their son. I don't like to talk about that song, this is the most I've ever talked about it...

[xeo-kunsatan]

Dissatisfied One shot +14 (Part 1)

Warning

This story contains sexual themes, Domestic abuse themes, Toxic relationships, Suicide, cigarettes use, bad words and prostitution references. If you are sensitive or underage please don't read this story.

Dissatisfied.... i don't think it's difficult to found out why do i feel like that..

I wasn't always being the inappropriate whore my grandmother or even my uncle used to call me.. I was supposed to be a innocent child.. tsk yeah.. an innocent child with the shitty luck of having such a shattered family and a stupid child with the shitty luck of having a pedophile as teacher who tried to rape him when the bastard child was just 10.

It's alright.. I guess.. I just woke up in the bed from one of my classmates, let's say he wanted a fun night so I accepted to gave him pleasure.. at least he paid me money so I can leave this room, .. but that didn't satisfied me.. nor even filled me.

I taked my stuff making sure he didn't woke up too but he still..

Rocky: Hey Bunny~, are you leaving to soon?~.

Bradley: Are you Horny again? we did it for almost 2 hours the last night, if you want to continue you most pay again.

Rocky: I have not enough money

Bradley: *change on his clothes* Then I have nothing to do here

Rocky: Tsk, you lost...

Bradley: Lost what? *Sarcastic Chuckle* Your "Buddy" is just bigger than mine, is not the big thing..

Rocky: *chuckles* As if you were that hot~.

Bradley: *takes his backpack* You didn't said that that night.

I left that room, that guy seemed mad by my comment, I can't help it, they still see me as the bastard son of the fire ghost which mess with their city but they actually desires me to gives them the pleasure that a girl or anyone else can't gave them..

I was walking through the hallways, then suddenly someone touched my hand to catch my attention, it was that big blue guy who uses to play American football, another client more.

Bradley: Unwin? Are you sure about this? You didn't had a girlfriend?

Unwin: Well yes.. i have a girlfriend, she asked me to do it one day but I'm not ready to do it nor even i have no idea about how to do it.

Bradley: so.. your first Time?

Unwin: Yep..

Bradley: alright.. we will do it this night, don't forget you have to pay for the fun night, i will teach you how to do it.

Unwin: Ok.. thanks man, Heheh now I see why people calls you Bunny, and not just for being little~ *leaves quickly while he was laughing at Bradley* Slut~.

Bradley: But Rabbits are cute...

After that I went to the school restrooms to take a quick bath to at least go to classes without any boy smell.

Since when i thought that this shit was a good idea?.. why did i thought that this would make me feel complete or even satisfied? I questioned myself while the shower drops were falling on my face.

I have a lot of missed calls from my uncle who is surely mad instead of worried by not arriving at the round house.

I dried myself quickly to then change my clothing and go to classes in time, at my seat I saw him.. Skeebo, after that day it's not the same being next to him. He used to bully me by the same old shit as the others but he stopped since that day I saved his life and i snapped to that lemon head which calls himself hero for a nonsense reason.

If you are asking why the heck I was selling my body like this if I have a traumatic event related with this?

I will answer your question, hate me or not depends of you, I will explain.

First my uncle is a hypocritical stingy, he will not give me any fucking money not even for a candy, he just gives money to my cousin, understandable, and the stupid lemon for his mediocre work.

The second reason... Everything happened in a normal school day (yes, after I got Skeebo's respect), also a normal day of ghost attack, there was a new ghost around the netherworld, this one has a weird power which makes everyone Who touches him or is slimed by him, that person ends into a lust state, it was easy to recognize when he attacked someone...at least for me, he has peculiar smell to Cherries, Strawberries and... saliva.

I didn't had to hide, the ghosts didn't attacked me as always, that lemon ball was around eating them and burping their eyes. That clumsy Pac crashed against me and suddenly Skeebo which was running away locking us in a locker by accident.

Bradley: shit...

Skeebo: Arghh!.. that lemon head!!...

Bradley: *sighs*....

Skeebo: are we in a girl's locker?.. this place smells good~

Bradley:*sniffs*... Oh.. shit.. we are not in a girl's locker...It's my locker....

Skeebo:*sniffs on Bradley's hair* is it you? You smell so good~

Bradley: Well my perfume used to be from my older sister, and i use Pactene Shampoo because my uncle has lots of them for my cousin and me, so it has sense.

Skeebo: It's still so good~

Bradley: fuck fuck fuck fuck... Skeebo.. you were infected by a lust ghost.. and you will not snap from that state until you....

Skeebo: me what?~

Bradley:... *Sighs* i-i.. I'm still scared for t-this... But.. just do it with me... D-d-dont worry.. you will not remember any of this moments...

Skeebo: you're so cute~ you're so sweet~..

Bradley: Ok i think he lost the control short time ago..damn it..

Then Skeebo slowly was ripping off my virginity.. I thought it would hurt as when that awful man tried to do to me.. but... This time.. I felt different.. I felt.. strange... i was embarrassed.. it hurted but I liked it..I don't know how nor why...He where keep going for 1 hour until he ended inside me.. for me it was difficult to still up but that feeling was too difficult to describe... Did I feel satisfaction?.. is this what am I looking for to feel full, did I feel good for at least one time of my life, he finally snapped out that state he didn't understand what happened and suddenly the locker door opened, I was a little naked so I acted quickly and transformed myself into a rabbit to escape from a already embarrassing moment leaving him with the shame. Because of me everyone saw Skeebo half-naked and stained in with his own fluids.

Ms Globular: Mr Spheros.. Mr Skeebo! Wake up!

Bradley: Huh!?...

Skeebo: What!?

Almost Everyone laugh about that.. specially to Skeebo

Ms Globular: Please focus yourself in the exam.

Bradley:..*sighs* yes Ms Globular..

Rocky: what's wrong Skeebo aren't you playing with your "buddy" again?

Izod: Yeah, please don't splash us~

Skeebo: *blushed and mad* you 2 shut up!

Yep... also that day was even worst for Skeebo than the day became into Heebo-Skeebo, he was even a bigger mock for almost all the students, it was my fault by running away as a coward..

Izod: Or what?

Bradley: Do you have any idea about how pathetic you look making fun with a guy because of an embarrassing moment he clearly wants to forget?

Rocky: You have no rights to speak slut!

Skeebo: Don't call him slut!

Izod: Aww the Sper-Man is defending the Play-Bun?.

Bradley: So sad that the sizes of your "Buddies" are not that good enough to compensate your lack of brain..

Ms Globular: That's enough you 4!! If you don't quit speaking that dirty stuff in the class i will send you to detention!

Izod/Rocky: Fine Ms Globular..

Bradley: Alright Ms...

Skeebo: *sighs*

The School Bell rings

It was now lunch time, i wasn't hungry so i left to the school yard to smoke a cigarette, a cherry one, I'm allergic to the normals.

Bradley: *sighs*

"Can i sit with you?" - a voice sounded..

It was Lexy Soto, one of my classmates and the most popular in the school for being so kind with all and bringing desserts from his Dad's restaurant also one of the most famous restaurants in Pacopolis), for it Lexy is really respected and beloved here, especially for that Lemon Ball.

Lexy always left a single meal for me and comes to me to give me company, it's still incredible that he is my friend without caring about my Dad's actions, did Latins are like this?

Bradley: Sure Lexy.

Lexy: Good, *sits to him* i noticed that you weren't in the Cafeteria so i left this cupcake for you.

Bradley: Thanks Lexy, you don't had to do it.

Lexy: I have to, Weon

Bradley:*smiles a little and takes the cupcake* Thanks Lexy, *bites it* Hmm~ is so sweet and soft.

Lexy: Chocolate with raspberry cream.

Bradley: Also.. let me guess, did you put ice cream for the cream?

Lexy: You got me.

Bradley: I knew it!

Lexy: *giggles*... *Starts sniffing Bradley* where selling your body again!?.

Bradley: Oh shit.. you got me

Lexy: Bradley, please you don't have to do it..

Bradley: Lexy, i don't have money to buy any stuff i need, and my uncle doesn't give me a shit.

Lexy: And i thought that presidents in Latin America are awful.. but please... You don't have to do it if you don't like it..

Bradley: That's the problem Lexy.. I think like it..but I hate to do it with that bastards.

Lexy: How you can like that awfull thing?...

Bradley: Because I'm sick Lexy..I know i am sick...but i can't cry for help.. because my uncle will not understand..

Lexy: I could ask my Dad to help you but.. i don't want to bother him...

Bradley: *pets him*... Lexy.. you don't have to do it... Maybe i could be sick.. but i will be okay.

Lexy: *starts sobbing* You're lying!... You are not okay! You said that you would be okay but that's not true.. i know you are suffering.. and it... It worries me a lot!! *Cries*

Bradley:...it's because that awful neighbor did to you, right?

Lexy: !!..

Bradley:*hugs Lexy* I'm sorry... I didn't mean to worry you like this.. maybe it would hurt but.. If something happens to me.. i already have a place in the netherworld with my Dad..

Lexy: If Pacopolis were your home too...

Bradley: Even if i live in netherworld, we would still be friends.

Lexy: At least.. please found a solution...

Bradley: I promise I will try.. *dries Lexy's tears* cheer up BerryPie.

Lexy: you most be the one who most smile first Cabro Culiao!..

Bradley: Heh..*smiles* sorry, like this?

Lexy: *cheers* much better~

6:00 pm

The school And clubs activities ended, Lexy have left to his home early to help out his father with his job as always, it was getting late and time to start my job with that moron, so i left the reading club (Club Wich has a single one member, me) to meet up with that guy i just forgot his name and i don't give a care in remember it.

Unwin: Finally..

Bradley: we will do this quickly, i have to go back to the round house.. i have piano practice at 8:00 pm.

Unwin: All you have to do is please me..

Bradley: just if you pay the price, if you don't i will make sure one of my boys to torment you, got it?

Unwin:*sighs* fine!..*pays him 10 Pac Dollars*

Bradley: Good Boy~.

And well i did it with him as i did with the rest of the boys from Maze High (Except by Pac and Spiral, dude i have my limits, i can't leave that stinky lemon to touch me, and Spiral, i know he likes Pacster since long, it's kinda obvious and i prefer them to have that experience by theirselfs) but ..i didn't felt nothing similar to that curious feeling i felt with him.. it wasn't the same.. but it wasn't possible.. even after he ended as a mock because of me.. i would not be able to stand the guilt...

7:00 pm

By finishing, i just put in my clothing to take my stuff and left the dorms, it was almond late for my classes and even worst i was having a lot of walking problems, fortunately or well.. unfortunately my uncle's limousine arrived next to me And taked me to the round house, the bodyguards didn't looked at me in any moment.. it was uncomfortable.. when we arrived to the round house, there was my uncle waiting for me, he seemed completely mad.

Bradley: *sighs*..

Stratos: Bradley..Where the heck you have been!? Why you didn't come back to home yesterday!? Or not even answered my calls!!??... And ugh!.. what's that awful smell!!??

Bradley: Do you care?.

Stratos: wait.. don't tell me you where sleeping with a guy!!?

Bradley: So what!?, If i was sleeping with someone or i was making out with someone, that's not of your business!!

Stratos: of course it's my business to take care of you!

Bradley: As it was your business to take care of my dad when he needed you more than anything... You cared so much of me that you left me with grandmother!

Stratos: It wasn't that bad!

Bradley: That Bad...It wasn't..That Bad!? I was her fucking Boxing bag and used me to turn off her cigarettes

Stratos: You are exaggerating, she was educating you to be a disciplined and decent man!.

Bradley: So sad, it didn't work..

Stratos: It was for you could not end like your father.

Bradley: Should I'll remember you the boiling water cup she threw me in that Barbecue in the round house by "Accident?

Stratos: Agh just go inside and take a bath right now!.. don't let Cedrick see you!.

Bradley: Whatever...

Yep the same old shit of always... I taked another bath and went to my room, i was so tired, Quartzy was sleeping on my lap to comfort me.. but i still had to play that piano.. so i get up to go to the piano room.. my Uncle wasn't there... that was a good thing, that means he would not bother me.

So i sat in that sit and taked a cherry cigarette from a box i use to hide from my uncle and cousin.

I smoke one of them while I was playing a soft melody in the piano..I was losing myself in my thoughts and the music.. then suddenly someone entered in.

Cedrick: Hey Brad!

Bradley:*throws the cigarette through the window* Oh, hi Cedrick

Cedrick: what where you eating?...

Bradley: oh, it was nothing.

Cedrick: Oke, can I stay with you? I love how you play the piano :D.

Bradley: Alright little bud.

So I played a melodies for my little cousin, I didn't wanted him to see me like this..

I'm at least a little alright if my cousins, my people, my sister, Buttler and my Dad are alright too.. maybe.

Lately when I was close to Skeebo I was feeling something unusual.. like a hungry.. hungry for his virility, hungry for his touch.. I sounded like a monster... I'm sorry..

Suddenly i felt that someone was calling me.