#so yes. thank you for letting me post whatever i want about my evil little titanic man

[hauntedwoman]

the fact that ive been titanicposting since like march and ive only gotten one psycho hate mail ask berating me for liking cal like fuck i've just turned him into some guy you all have to hear abt everyday huh

[turtle--soup]

Okay.

I have not seen ROTTMNT yet, but I've picked up some stuff from just floating around the fandom. Something I've learned, which is discussed in this post here, is that Rise Leo is generally considered - and considers himself the 'Face Man' of the team. (GIFs below are swiped from the linked post by @risestarkiss - I couldn't find them in tumblr's gif search function...)

Anyway. This is interesting to me because I am, for my sins, also a fan of The A-Team.

(I promise this is going somewhere! If you want to find out where I'm going with this, I'll put the rest of the post under a cut because it got a little long...)

For those of you unfamiliar with The A-Team, it's a (very silly) 80s TV series about a group of Vietnam War veterans who are on the run from the government after being convicted of a crime they didn't commit. The four of them spend their lives in hiding, making a living by using their combat skills to help people in need.

Here they are:

Left: Colonel John 'Hannibal' Smith, leader of the team, brains of the outfit and most likely to have become an evil mastermind in an alternate timeline.

Right: Sergeant B.A. Baracus. Nicknamed 'Bad Attitude' due to his lack of patience for bullshit, B.A. is the resident tough guy but also an absolute teddy bear of a man, and is always ready to help people, especially children and the elderly.

Left: Captain H.M. 'Howling Mad' Murdock is the team's pilot and can fly just about anything. As his nickname suggests, he's considered a bit eccentric and is a silly kind of guy. (He's also a permanent resident of a psychiatric hospital but let's not get into that right now.)

Right: Lieutenant Templeton Peck. His role in the team is to provide them with whatever they need, whether that be vehicles, weapons, tools or access to places. He usually achieves this using his charm and wit, gaining him the nickname 'Face Man.'

Okay, so bearing these descriptions in mind, look at Leo's dialogue in this GIF:

I'm assuming that Donnie is the brainy guy, Raph is the smashy guy, and Mikey is the 'eats peanut butter with his fingers guy'. And Leo is the Face Man. That's his role.

But these descriptions fit the members of The A-Team too. Hannibal is the brainy guy, B.A. is the smashy guy, Murdock is the guy who absolutely eats peanut butter with his fingers (while maintaining unbroken eye contact throughout). And then there's Face.

How is this in any way relevant?

Well.

It just so happens that someone else is a fan of The A-Team...

Of course the Mirage turtles watched The A-Team! It was a popular show in the mid-80s, and you have to admit - they do have a lot in common, being four guys fighting injustice from the shadows and all... The A-Team even have a friend on the outside who helps them out - Amy Allen.

She's a reporter. Like someone else we know...

But which of the Mirage turtles in the image above is suggesting they should watch The A-Team?

According to this bio card from 1990 that coincides with the 1987 series...

... it might be Leo!

Was this intentional on the part of the Rise writers? I don't know!

Is it relevant? Probably not!

Does this tentative link between these two silly 80s series make me ridiculously happy? Yes!

Was this entire post just leading up to this? Yeah... sorry...

I like to think that the link is intentional. I've heard that Rise makes reference to other iterations of TMNT, as they all do. I would just personally love it if someone on the team wanted to draw parallels between these two series on purpose!

Anyway.

I just noticed that and really needed to get it off my chest! Thank you to everyone who stuck with this longer-than-intended post right to the end! 💙💜❤🧡

[nanabansama]

Tsukasa Is Tsukasa

Recently I discovered a poll asking if people thought the Supernatural Tsukasa and the Red House Tsukasa were different, and the results surprised me! A majority of voters thought they were not the same. Not only that, but I've seen many people in the fandom start believing they are separate people, if they hadn't already believed it before.

I think this stance can very easily be explained by the scene in Chapter 111 where Amane comes to the conclusion that the Tsukasa who went missing isn't the same as the one who came back:

While people might be divided on the details, the conclusion is basically the same: whatever that is inside of him, it's not Amane's brother.

And I can see why they think this! In fact, it used to be a popular theory back during the release of chapters 78-82 when we didn't know the specifics of what happened. Heck, we still don't know many of the specifics...and many people continued believing the Tsukasas were different anyway!

There's decent evidence to support this, too. When Tsukasa returned, he had sharp teeth and supernatural powers. He knew that Kunishige's wish was that the head priest would die. He's demonstrably different from the innocent little Tsukasa that sacrificed his life for Amane.

If that wasn't enough, even his own mom came to the conclusion that Tsukasa wasn't her son! This is basically the same conclusion Amane comes to in Chapter 111. That's 2/3 of Tsukasa's family members thinking some evil entity is larping around in his skin--not a good look!

In any case, while I could try and convince you guys there are two Tsukasas and the Tsukasas are different, that's not what I'm here to do. If you read my blog you already know I'm 100% on the side that Tsukasa is Tsukasa and always has been, and nothing AidaIro has shown me so far has been convincing enough to change my mind. In this post, I am here to argue that the Red House Tsukasa is the same as the Supernatural Tsukasa and that he merely works in tandem with the ancient god living inside him.

1. Chapter 82

This is the chapter when a lot of people dropped the theory that there are two Tsukasas, including me. (Yes, I used to believe there were two Tsukasas--people change!)

Kou and Nene had determined that the Red House Tsukasa was the real Tsukasa and that the one Amane killed was a fake. They come to this conclusion because this Tsukasa was trapped in the Red House for 50 years and acts a lot nicer and sweeter than the one we know.

The issue is, Kou tells this Tsukasa that Amane is going to kill Tsukasa and die at the age of 13...and unbeknownst to Kou, the seemingly innocent little Red House Tsukasa is EXCITED at the idea! Tsukasa, thankful to Kou and Nene, helps them escape the house but stays behind. This scene is when a lot of cool stuff happens.

First, we learn that Tsukasa wasn't actually trapped in the Red House and he always knew how to get back home, but that he never left because he was worried about what would happen to Amane. However, once Kou told him that Amane wasn't happy after Tsukasa left and that Amane kills not just Tsukasa but also himself, Tsukasa realizes he doesn't know that much about Amane and wants to learn more. The most shocking part of this scene to me was that Tsukasa's excitement at dying was very similar to the lighthearted way the Supernatural Tsukasa brings up his death with Amane.

Second, we see Tsukasa not only has the entity he sacrificed himself to to save Amane stored in his chest, but that he holds a conversation with it.

The entity being shown in his chest is actually a popular argument for the "Tsukasa isn't Tsukasa" theory, but I feel this scene proves otherwise. Tsukasa is not the unwilling host of this entity, as one might expect, but instead almost treats it as a friend. They have a sort of symbiotic relationship going on, and Tsukasa makes the decision to go back wholly of his own, despite them both knowing how to get back the entire time. He even says "let's go back TOGETHER," which supports the idea that they work together and that it isn't simply piloting a Tsukasa meat puppet.

We can argue Tsukasa is the victim to the entity's machinations, that the entity needed Tsukasa to do it willingly or that the entity took full control of Tsukasa after he succumbed to the flames or what not and tricked him, but so far AidaIro has only shown cooperation between these two characters. It's not unreasonable to suggest that Tsukasa gaining supernatural powers after he comes back isn't a sign that he's a different being entirely but that he's just working with one.

2. Mother Doesn't Always Know Best

This one will be a quick section, but considering Mother Yugi is basically the origin of "Tsukasa isn't Tsukasa" I wanted to cover why I think she's wrong.

In Chapter 79 Kunishige recounts how Mother Yugi took Tsukasa to their shrine because she thought her son was possessed by a demon after being spirited away. Kunishige thinks she's crazy at first, and so do the priests, who find nothing wrong with Tsukasa. Put a pin in that btw.

However, Kunishige later learns she was onto something because Tsukasa is not only an incredibly unsettling child but he correctly predicts the death of the head priest of the shrine and tells Kunishige his wish, for the head priest to disappear, would be granted tomorrow. This proves Tsukasa has otherworldly power, since he knows Kunishige's wish without Kunishige telling him, and also might have the ability to grant wishes, something the entity in his chest is shown to be capable of.

Now, I personally think the fact that the priests found nothing wrong with Tsukasa is HUGELY in favor of my theory. I understand how you can argue that the entity somehow avoided detection because it's powerful, or because there was nothing left of the original Tsukasa or something, but I still think the fact the priests detected nothing wrong is extremely weird. What if that's because Tsukasa is still in control?

I think the fact Mother Yugi was convinced Tsukasa isn't her son and wasn't persuaded otherwise is important, too. In fact, I think it might directly correlate with the conclusion Amane makes in Chapter 111. I think Amane is more or less coming to the same conclusion his mother made, something he hadn't wanted to believe at first but eventually, finally, succumbed to. I have to imagine his mother's insistence that Tsukasa wasn't Tsukasa left a big impression on Amane, and it's something that's bothered him for years.

I can't exactly blame them both, either. By the time Tsukasa came back, he'd lost a lot of his innocence. Keep in mind that they think Tsukasa was gone for six months. Any normal 4-year-old kid might have been traumatized by leaving his family for six months, but Tsukasa just acts creepy and possessed. And despite him meeting Nene and Kou 50 years in the future, it's possible it really was only six months for Tsukasa! Time worked differently there. Still, it's not hard to see how the extreme circumstances he was in might have changed him. Not only was he stuck in a haunted death house, he later learns the wish he granted for Amane wasn't Amane's true wish and that Amane kills Tsukasa. This is all pretty life-changing information, and when you tack on the fact that he's buddy-buddy with an ancient man-eating god, it's really not that surprising Tsukasa has changed so dramatically, especially when he's still at the tender age of 4.

3. Behavior

For something that's supposedly replaced Tsukasa entirely, it certainly gets very personal with Amane, doesn't it?

I said before that Red House Tsukasa in Chapter 82 acts similar to Supernatural Tsukasa. How they find delight in death. But I don't think this is the only point of similarity between them, either. In Chapter 81, Red House Tsukasa is under the impression that Amane hates him.

In Chapter 111, after Amane tells Tsukasa he hates him, Tsukasa tells him he already knew that.

Mind you, this line comes seconds before Amane comes to the conclusion that Tsukasa isn't Tsukasa.

Think about it. Tsukasa tells Amane that he knows Amane hates him, echoing a sentiment that the Red House Tsukasa shares. And Amane, after hearing this, comes to the conclusion that this Tsukasa is an impostor.

Isn't that... really sad?! I mean, I'm not going to say that Amane's whole reasoning for Tsukasa being a fake is that he thinks Amane hates him, but...before this scene, Amane was saying he couldn't destroy his yorishiro because he cared about Tsukasa too much. And for Tsukasa to say something he's thought ever since Amane pushed him as a little kid, and for THAT to make Amane say he thinks Tsukasa is fake... it really shows they've never understood each other at all.

Tsukasa's never been shown to get extremely upset about being hated by Amane, either, so you can't say Amane is right just because Tsukasa is laughing in Chapter 111. Tsukasa initially seems shocked when he was pushed, and overall seems a little sad about it in Chapter 81, but he still remarks that Amane hates him with a smile. He's selfless about it. And later, when he learns Amane kills him, this feeling gets more complex. Despite Kou's attempts to convince him otherwise, I think Kou's reveal only made Tsukasa more convinced that Amane hates him, and this is shown in Chapter 111 when he laughs about it. It's just a funny joke to him at this point.

I...genuinely cannot reconcile this behavior with Tsukasa being a fake. I just can't! Why would the entity be this personal with Amane? Why would it share opinions that the supposedly "real" Tsukasa had? If AidaIro really is trying to write a story about a little boy being replaced by a supernatural entity, then they could at least do a better job of making them act different. TBHK makes it clear that supernaturals can experience human emotions just as strongly as actual humans, so it wouldn't surprise me if the god has its own personality and feelings, but for them to just...be the exact same as the human it replaced? I'm not buying it.

There is no difference between the Red House Tsukasa and the Supernatural Tsukasa that can't be explained away by the fact that people change as they grow older. Everything about Tsukasa's character arc as I've presented it is completely logical.

Conclusion

With so little info on the ancient man-eating god, it's kind of impossible to reach a proper conclusion at this point. All we really know about its personality is that it hungers for flesh and will grant any wish in exchange for it. With this in mind, it's incredibly easy to see why people think the god and Supernatural Tsukasa are one and the same, especially when the cast tends to treat them as such. I could just as easily write a post in favor of them being different as I could of them being the same.

And I think this is what AidaIro ultimately wants! I think AidaIro wants us to second guess ourselves. If I know anything about Aidairo, it's that they like to keep up on our toes and shock us with surprising twists. Who really knows what they have hiding up their sleeves?

Still, I feel the theory that the god replaced Tsukasa raises more questions than answers, and I hope I managed to explain my side of things.

[alphajocklover]

Hey 😈 I wish someone would help me become a massive gay bodybuilding whore. I’m already on my way gaining weight, but I wanna be gigantic. Think you could help?

So you want to become, in your own words, a massive gay bodybuilding whore. That shouldn’t be too hard. As I’ve already shown you through my other post, there are numerous ways that people can get transformed into different types of jocks. The fact you want to specifically be a slutty gay jock does complicate things a little, since certain methods would turn you straight, but it’s still pretty simple. Instajock comes to mind as a good method for example, although I’ve talked about that app quite a bit recently and would rather discuss something new. There are many ways people can transform that I haven’t mentioned in the slightest, and your question actually brings up one I’ve been wanting to talk about for a long time. Mainly the emoji you used. Yep, for this transformation we’re going to get some help from someone very special: the Devil.

When I say the devil, I don’t really mean ‘The Devil’. Don’t get me wrong, he is a devil, but he’s not the devil from the bible. He just… works for him. I know that sounds bad, and honestly it definitely is. I don’t know much about the religious side of the magical world, but I do know that the Devil, with a capital D, does exist. He might be a fallen angel who wants to turn humanity to sin like from religious text, or he might just be a very powerful magical being using human religion to boost his own reputation, but either way he definitely exists. And just like in the old folk stories, he makes deals with people in exchange for their souls. Strangely, as the stories had spread and grown more prevalent, the demand for a deal with the Devil has actually skyrocketed. You’d think a bunch of stories about how making a deal for your soul is a bad idea would discourage people, but surprisingly it’s only increased business. Because of that the Devil’s operation has grown. The Devil is powerful, but he’s not god, he isn’t omniscient. So, to keep up with demand, he began to delegate. Instead of doing one deal at a time and seeing to every deal personally, he has a large team of demons that make deals for him. That's where my friend Nick comes in.

Nick isn’t his real name, but since humans can’t really pronounce his name he just lets me call him Nick. He is one of the more powerful demons working for the Devil, and specializes in making sexually explicit deals. As you can probably guess, he deals with a lot of people and has made a lot of deals. He’s not as outright evil as you might expect though, and he was actually a close friend of my Uncle. He had a sort of soft spot for my Uncle, and would often help him out with certain things. I don’t know how they met or why my Uncle seemed to be friends with a literal demon, but they got along really well. Now that my Uncle’s gone though, he helps me instead. I think he does it a bit out of guilt. He couldn’t protect my Uncle, his favorite mortal, from being turned into a jock, so now he protects me. Because of this I like to send him a willing victim now and then, as a thank you.

So, your first instinct is probably to say no. I mean, as much as you want to be a gay jock slut, you probably don’t want to sell your soul and be doomed to an eternity in hell. The thing is, these days they usually don’t ask for your soul. The Devil long figured out that there were more subtle ways to get what he wanted, so usually the contracts ask for something else. Sometimes it’s something significant, sometimes it’s almost nothing. Whatever it is usually works into his very complicated plans somehow in a way we almost can’t comprehend, but he never asks for your soul anymore. In exchange for becoming a massive gay bodybuilder jock, all Nick would require is… your car.

Yes, the devil wants your car. You’re probably wondering why, and honestly I don’t know. It’s not even a new car, and it’s kind of lame. But that's what he wants, and in exchange he’ll give you the body and mind of your dreams. I know you’re probably pretty skeptical, and If I’m being honest there probably is some sort of catch, but-

Oh! Ok, so, you’re doing it. I was expecting a bit more resistance but you seem pretty sure. Well, I do hope it works out for you. All you have to do is write your name on the contract and the deal will be sealed. Just write your name at the bottom there… and perfect! You’ve just made a deal with a devil!

I know you feel a little confused, but give it a second, it will pass. A sudden change in your body is always disorienting, but you’ll get used to the new you pretty quickly. I mean, look at you! You’re absolutely massive! Those arms, those pecs, those shoulders! God you really got a great deal. You get to live out your fantasy life, and all you had to do was get rid of a piece of shit car. I can’t be sure why he wanted it, but my best guess was that it’s going to cause a butterfly effect where, because your car didn’t cause a traffic jam when it broke down or something, something else will never happen. But there isn’t any use in dwelling on it anymore. You’ve made the deal, so fucking enjoy it! Go out there and have hot gay sex with as many guys as you can! You made a deal with the devil, you might as well get all you can out of it!

**hey everyone! Been a little bit! I’ve been kind of distracted and busy lately but I’m still alive and kicking! Hope you guys like this story and keep tuned for more! I also wanna make clear I am not trying to offend any religious group. I just love the deal with the devil idea.**

[percheduphere]

LET'S TALK ABOUT MOBIUS'S HEAVY KEYS

I wrote a meta on S1 Mobius here, mostly exploring his interrogation persona and emotional trajectory toward S1E6. I also have a fun little list on all the things I love about him here.

@mitromana posted about how we should talk about Mobius's sass and even cruelty more. @wowwwmobius posted how Mobius realistically would not be doing well post-S2E6 (I wholeheartedly agree), and they and @inwantofamuse shared amazing comments. All of this inspired this meta.

Thank you @mitromana @wowwwmobius @inwantofamuse!

Mobius's interrogation scenes are him at his most cruel and ruthless. The flipside of being a highly empathetic person is that it is very VERY easy to use this skill in highly abusive, cunning, and powerful ways. This is especially true if the person armed with this skill is exceptionally intelligent and is convinced their motivations are good. At the TVA, before Loki's exposure of the truth, Mobius is both of these things. Worse, he has access to the TVA's more ethically unconscionable technology, which he does not hesitate to use.

The road to evil is paved with good intentions. Mobius strolls onto this road more than once, but he manages to not stay on it because two people curb this risk: Loki and, yes, Sylvie.

Take in Loki's words and posture in this scene. The words alone are a frail and weak comeback for a silver-tongue God of lies. They do nothing but reveal Loki is in FACT scared. His arms are crossed tightly over his abdomen, a primal protective response. He's leaned as far away from Mobius as possible. This is the best Loki can come up with in the face of a boring man in a boring suit, really?

You can see why Mobius was moved into the position of Analyst from Hunter. He may not be able to prune children, but he can literally bring a God like Loki to the ground, breathless, confused, and frightened, with nothing more than WORDS. And this is with a variant Mobius likes. Imagine what he can do to a variant he hates.

For HWR and Ravonna's purposes, Mobius is the perfect weapon to get whatever they want out of whatever variant they capture before sending them off to get pruned. How do they keep him from questioning anything?

Memory-wiping (more than once), brainwashing, propaganda, and:

A little something for Mobius's identity, something that fulfills his intrinsic need to take care of others while also gently stroking his ego.

Yes, the genocide of multiple timelines over the span of eons is horrifying. But Mobius is capable of being complicit with it as long as his environment feeds his intrinsic psychological and emotional needs. The people on the Sacred Timeline become his new children, and he will do anything ANYTHING to protect them.

There was one thing HWR and Ravonna didn't anticipate: that this man's empathy for a specific Loki would be the very thing that liberates the multiverse and his own bondage from a corrupt bureaucracy.

However...

I don't believe Mobius ever anticipated becoming emotionally compromised when he advocated on Loki's behalf. He likely genuinely believed that after centuries of studying Loki, he knew him well enough to make him useful for the TVA. But the subconscious, oh. That is a different story, and in Loki's own words, Mobius has a gift for lying to himself.

I discuss the interrogation scene and Sif loop scene in depth here, so I won't repeat myself, but I'd like to draw our attention to the 2 gifs below, framing my analysis:

Imagine where Mobius's mind must be at:

I spent centuries studying you and believing in you. I waited more centuries for your nexus event to come. I tasked every hunter to inform me of your arrival immediately, no matter what I was doing, no matter where I was. I abandoned a case. I ran to your trial. I put my job, reputation, and eons-long friendship with Ravonna on the line. I tested your theory. I brought you with me on the field. You talked to me. You challenged me. You made me proud. You made me laugh.

I gave you daggers and you stabbed me. You STABBED me. When all I wanted to give you was--

Mobius cracked hard and fast. Applaud Owen Wilson for THIS interpretation of the script and THIS delivery.

Thankfully, the very person who put Mobius in this fragile state of mind is also the person Mobius deeply wants to believe in. Even after being betrayed, Mobius still wants to believe in Loki and his capacity to be a wonderful person. And so he looks at Ravonna's TemPad, decides Loki deserves to be with whoever he wants to be with (even if that person will never be Mobius himself), frees Loki to help him save the woman he loves, and gets pruned for it.

Mobius survives thanks to plot-armor. And who is the first person he meets?

The bane of his existence.

And Sylvie wastes no time driving a knife into a very fresh wound. Mobius, however, only recently unleashed all his rage. His reservoir for compartamentalizing has refreshed, so he can take Sylvie's truth bravely, without a flinch, and acknowledge that truth with one of his own.

Mobius owns it. He doesn't deny it. He tacitly agrees with her and gives her a reason why.

We should remember how dangerous Mobius can be. He is currently sitting in a car with the variant he is most likely to hate. Sylvie is strong, clever, and resilient, but her ability to regulate her emotions is weak, especially if she is triggered. Mobius can destroy her very easily with his words.

But Mobius can't hate her. He can't. She was right and he was wrong, but most importantly Loki loves her.

He won't hurt the person Loki loves most. No. He will take her to him instead. He can stomach the pain, the disappointment. He's good at that. Loki's well-being, his happiness, comes first.

In fact, Mobius stomachs Sylvie's knife twists a second time and chooses not to defend himself. I don't doubt a large part of him agrees with her. Nevertheless, he can't help but hope Loki might stand up for him in that moment. He tries, and fails, to make light of it by rolling his eyes and turning to his friend. When Loki leaves him not explaining why, his true feelings about this interaction surfaces on his face.

Aren't you going to say anything?

The saddest thing is that this is the LAST intimate moment THIS Mobius has with Loki before Loki crosses the gangway and never returns. This is it. This is what he's left with: the thought Loki didn't care enough to defend him and Loki leaving.

HE doesn't get to hear that he's just trying to see in the dark and is doing everything he can to keep the surviving timelines alive. SYLVIE does.

HE doesn't get to hear Loki tell him he saved his life. DON does.

HE doesn't get the final goodbye and "thank you, Mobius", his PAST SELF does. And if Mobius happens to remember this moment in the present, he will know that he was the one who propelled Loki to bear this massive burden ALONE.

My worry for Mobius post-S2E6 is that he is more than talented at ignoring his own needs and addressing his own problems. He is infinitely better--a master, even--at taking care of anyone else. It's a devastating flaw, but it comes from a very raw place:

His heart, his soul, will always remember being a single parent.

Being a parent at all is hard to begin with. There are only so many hours in a day, and the majority of it is devoted to putting someone else's needs before your own. Being a single parent is even harder. You might have a few people to help you, but ultimately, there's no partner to share every high and low intimately. To be a single parent of not one but TWO children?

Game over.

Some viewers have interpreted Don ignoring his sons' phone calls at work as negligent. Honestly, I don't think that's the case. He will call them back. Don is Mobius and Mobius is Don. He will take care of them. But refusing every beck and call at work is the only personal boundary he has. He cannot have many boundaries for himself at home or anywhere else. He has to decline not one but two calls for his own sanity. Nevermind that he works Monday through Saturday, nine to five, to make enough money to keep them healthy and happy. Where is the break? There is none. This is Don's glorious purpose.

Mobius leaving the TVA is understandable for two crucial reasons: One, it is a reminder of all his horrifying acts and complicity. Two, it is a reminder Loki is no longer there. But by leaving the TVA, Mobius separates himself from his only support system. That's not good. That is decidely unhealthy. The fact that it doesn't cross B-15, Casey, or OB's minds that this is a very bad idea tells you everything you need to know about the number of genuinely close friends Mobius has.

Mobius has two. He walked away from one to be with the second, and the second walked away from him, too. TWICE.

But he still loves him anyway.

When you take a man like this and take away everything that's kept him functional: the TVA, Ravonna, Loki, and then show him a content life in which he cannot even be with his own children because another version of him already exists, what do you think will happen to him given we've seen how violently Mobius can snap?

And guess what: only one person has ever seen Mobius snap on more than one occasion. Only one person understands the triggers and how to handle them. I'll give you three guesses as to who it is.

Mobius "has a happy ending" is absolute bullshit. He is at risk.

[re-colligere]

Hnnngggg I hope this doesn't come on too strong but I am absolutely in love with your spy au. AHH it is SO GOOD, the way you've given everybody a specialty role and groovy outfit, and of course the villain/good guys dynamics LET'S GO. It's just like one of those things that makes your brain all "👀"

Your villain agent Joy is so 😳*insert nonexistent emoji of someone proposing with a spiffy diamond ring* I dunno bro something about morally dubious women in suits with manic grins, oh dear. (The way you draw Joy in general is my absolute fav ever. When you draw her smile it really feels like there's love behind it, if that makes sense?? She just radiates sunshine in your style <33 /gen, very pos)

So SO curious about the rest of the Emotions and who is allied with which group, and it's super fascinating to see everyone's relationships switched up in your au. It's all so epic, you do utterly amazing work and I can't wait to see what else you have cooked up. Thanks for sharing your art with us <33

^^ MY HONEST REACTION TO THIS INFORMATION..... HELLO?????!? thank you SO much I'm so happy dappy you're enjoying my spy au so far AGUHJFKDHGRG I'm definitely just stumbling around here and there, though it's starting to get semi-serious...we'll see how it develops :eyes:

I'M GLAD you like evil joy!! I was a little hesitant about the villain group in this au because I don't like making any of the guys too antagonistic...... but tbh it's grown on me a lot. Joy only got in the villain group because I wanted some fuckinn. enemies joyness yuri tbh AND I also thought making Joy evil would be so funny. I love morally dubious women in suits who also manage to be whimsical and silly I'm shaking your hand anon!!! ALSO THANK YOU SO MUCH??? WHAT!!!! im so happy to hear oh mygooddddd joy is always such a delight to draw, this is so sweet ;u; TYSM OAHWUHAG <33

and YES i'll keep working on the rest! I've got everyone's roles n dynamics locked in, though of course since I'm flying by the seat of my pants here, things are subject to change. I'm planning on making a post/masterlist/whatever so I can properly compile all the spy stuff (though #spy au is pretty handy on its own already). ALSO yeah it's been super fun working with the characters and their relationships!!! switching up everyone's dynamics is such a fun thought exercise... I could talk about How I eventually arrived at the cast arrangement that I have, but to be honest?? the start of it was random, and the finished cast is also kinda random but a bit more balanced. I'll start getting into the deets of everything once I've got more ideas to present >:]c rubbing my evil hands together. wild how this started as mainly a disear au but man. the story's kinda just unfolding in front of my eyes LMAO

THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN FOR SUCH A WONDERFUL MESSAGE here's an eensy joy for you!! Looking forward to sharing tons more stuff!

[the--rebel--fae]

Hey Fae! Do you know about the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse? If not, basically they are biblical concept for rooted evil in humanity and first four of seven seals for the “end of the evil world” or whatever (conquest, war, famine, and death).

Anyways, to my request! I wanted to ask to see if you’d write a paring of a FourHorseman!reader with Vox from Hazbin Hotel (and any other characters from that show if you’d like to lol)

Thank you and Gl with ur other requests!

A/N This is probably gonna happen each time I post a request since I feel horrible for making all of y'all wait. So! Big sorrys for taking so long with this but tysm for your patience! Now! On to the main a/n: Oh my friend, you have triggered an idea that is genius! Ooh this reminds me of that one episode from Charmed.--if you know which one, you totally rock. I had so much fun with this! I hope you like it too! 😊

Pairing: Vox x Strife! Four Horsemen! Reader

TW: Just swears, but that's about it.

Word Count: 814

His Little Chaos Bringer

The brick wall felt like a cool and relaxing solace as you leaned against it. Your pencil scratching furiously away in your notebook. Today had a been quite the productive day.

Though, you could have done without Blitzø's hissy fit for nearly missing the portal entry back to hell. He was complaining how you nearly cost him big time as he took you back into your main domain of the pride ring.

“You're lucky you're so damn powerful and make our jobs easier, you twerp.” He grumbled at you as he practically shoved you out of the I.M.P. van.

An amused chuckle made it passed your lips as you closed your notebook with a satisfying snap. You couldn't help that you were on a roll today with causing so many humans strife. You were the epitome of it after all being one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Your other three siblings were Lucifer knows where and you didn't really give a damn as long as they were keeping their stats up and making sure the plan stayed on track.

Your notebook was already bursting with your successes, an impressive list of names and ways you affect them filled its yellow time worn pages. And that was only today.

Looking around at stretch of land that was the V's part of Pentagram City you let out a tired sigh. You loved what you did, you really do. But after a long day of causing misery, all you wanted to do was collapse in a comfy chair and just relax as you listened to your boyfriend boast about his day.

The brief silence that filled the air in the little alleyway you were taking a break in was quickly broken by the sound of your ringtone: The Flight of the Valkyries–little on the nose but you were always a fan of the classics.

You glanced at the caller ID and grinned. “Well, ask and ye shall receive I guess.” Clicking answer, you couldn't keep the smile out of your voice. “It's like you just knew I needed to talk to you. Should I add telepathy to the list of your talents?”

A deep chuckle. “Well hello to you too Doll. Rough day I take it?”

You leaned your head back against the wall and felt the satisfying thump of cool brick against the back of your head. “Not hard, just very long. Apparently causing misery for a living can drain someone a lot.”

“Why don't you come back home to the tower and I'll see what I can do to help get some pep back in your step hmm?”

A smirk played at your lips. You definitely didn't miss the innuendo in that sentence. “Sounds perfect actually. I'll be there in five.”

A pleased hum could be heard on the other line. “Looking forward to it Doll. See you soon.”

“See you soon, Vox.” The call ended seconds after.

Pushing forward you felt your muscles stretch out in relief. A spark of excitement and contentment ran through you. Sometimes it paid to be the romantic partner of one of the strongest overlords and a tech genius like Vox. No matter how busy the two of you were, you were always able to make time for each other at the end of the day.

***

As the elevator door to Vox's penthouse suit swished open, a tired smile was brought to your lips at the sight before you. In front of the blue satin couch, on the table laid a beautiful–and frankly absolutely mouth watering dinner with two champagne flutes filled with wine.

“I take it you like the surprise?”

You let out a pleased hum and walk forward. "What do you think?" Wrapping your arms around Vox's neck, you lightly bumped your forehead against the top of his screen. An amused giggle passed your lips as you watch Vox's screen take on a light rosy hue around where his cheeks are supposed to be.

"Well, I'm glad you like it, my little chaos bringer." Vox gave you a soft peck on the lips. His kisses always left you with a tingling feeling--probably thanks to the fact that he is a literal tv, but you couldn't help but want more. Maybe at a later time, the night was still young after all.

"You know exactly how to make a gal feel special don't ya?"

Vox pulled away from your grasp and gave a wink. "Doll, you're special no matter what."

You couldn't help the snort that passed your lips. "Wow, cheesy much?"

Vox just waved you off. "What? I was just trying to be romantic!"

A fond smile pulls at your lips. You were probably one of the most powerful beings in Hell seeing who you were, but if this was the life you got to come back to everyday? It's all worth it.

A/N that was so much fun to write. I truly enjoyed this request! Feel free to request again! I hope you enjoyed it!

And if you guys want even more stories--like maybe your own personalized several-page long one-shots or even a multi-chap fic take a look at my Etsy Shop! I do commissions! I even have listings for Hazbin Hotel!

[wwinterwitch]

can i request something with jack russel? i saw you posted a few stuff about wwbn and i'm really excited to see what you have in mind for this character. it can be whatever you want, really. i truly enjoy your work🤍

the wolf and the witch — jack russell

summary: you met jack through ted and despite all of you becoming friends at first, jack can't deny he's had a crush on you since the day he met you

pairing: jack russell x witch!reader (ted is also in the story ofc)

word count: 3.2K

contains: fluff, confession of feelings (mutual), friends to lovers, jack is really in love and ted loves to tease him about it, just two awkward dorks in love.

note: i have no idea where i was going with this but anyways, i hope you enjoy and thank you for the request!

a reblog and/or comment on my posts really help me out as a content creator so thank you in advance if you take the time to do either!

main masterlist | marvel masterlist

It was really just a coincidence that you found Ted in the woods that night, but you were so glad you two happened to cross paths. As soon as the tall creature saw you, he let out a sound that sounded both surprised and terrified. You wondered what could've happened that made him have that type of reaction to your presence, but after hearing voices from a group of people nearby shouting to one another if they found "the monster" yet, you immediately understood what was going on.

And you couldn't blame Ted for being terrified of you, not wanting you to come near him at first, taking a step back when you tried to get closer to him. It was only when you quickly explained you're not a hunter that he looked just a tiny bit more relaxed. That's when you took your chance to offer your help, which he reluctantly accepted at first. It was either trusting you and following you back to your cabin or roaming the forest and risking the hunters finding him.

It was on the walk to your house that you realized he was injured, which made you hurry to get home so you could heal him. He walked behind you in silence, his head occasionally snapping to a certain direction whenever he heard even the slightest of sounds. Just by examining his behavior, you realized this isn't the first time he has been running from hunters.

And to you, this isn't the first time you've rescued someone from getting killed by evil hunters. You live in this cozy-looking little cabin in the woods, just a few minutes away from where you bumped into Ted. It makes sense for a witch to live there, especially giving your deep connection to nature. The sound of birds chirping, the water from the river echoing through the woods and the tall trees trying to reach the clear blue skies is all you've ever needed. There's a town nearby you visit often, but the idea of living there repels you. You much rather prefer to stay surrounded by nature. It keeps you focused, which is extremely helpful to practice your abilities.

As soon as you got home, Ted seemed to trust you a lot more than before. That tiny bit of comfort you were able to bring only grew when you kindly offered to help him with his injury. You took out everything you needed and began working, Ted standing next to you as he curiously examined what you're doing. A giggle almost escapes your lips after hearing the tiny growl he lets out in surprise when he sees a large cloud of turquoise smoke fill the kitchen and disappear almost as soon as it appears.

"That's right, my friend. I am a witch," you offered kindly, turning to look at him for a brief second before focusing back on the potion. "And yes, I can understand you," you quickly added when he growled again. Only one other human has been able to understand what he says.

At this point, he was fully trusting you when you told him to sit down. His big bright eyes continue to observe you as you take a few herbs and put them inside the bowl, melting when they make contact with the turquoise liquid, transforming the mixture into some kind of ointment. He allows you to rub the final product against his wounded skin, growling excitedly when he realizes whatever you put on top of him is absorbing into his skin and immediately healing the wound, which inevitably makes his pain go away.

"You're welcome," you smile when he turns to thank you. "I'm sorry you had to come across those hunters. It's not the first time I've found someone trying to escape from them in this forest. I'm very glad I found you..." you trail off, waiting for him to finish that last statement with his name. "Ted," you repeat before quickly introducing yourself as well.

You offered Ted something to eat or drink. He fell in love with the fruit you grow in your little garden right next to your house, shyly asking if you could give him a few more. Of course you gave him more fruit, wanting him to be as comfortable as possible after the traumatic experience he suffered out there.

"You have a place to stay, Ted? I'm sure I can make space for you here." He shakes his head, a series of growls leaving his mouth. "Oh, you have a friend out there looking for you? Well, in that case, you're more than welcome to wait for them here."

Ted thanked you yet again. You kept him company while waiting for his friend, teaching him a little bit more about your magic. It was safe to say he was absolutely amazed by everything you were able to do.

A series of hurried knocks on your front door interrupted you. A hand rests gently on top of Ted's arm, trying to silently tell him you won't let anyone or anything hurt him. His eyes softened, deciding to trust you one more time.

On the other side of the door stood a tall, slender man with brown hair and green eyes. He looked anxious, desperate even. He was a little taken aback at first when he saw you, fixing his tie at the same time he started speaking.

"Hello, miss. So sorry to bother you, but–"

He was interrupted by the voice of Ted coming from inside your house. He immediately stood up and you were quick enough to move out of the way when you saw him walking towards the door, greeting the stranger with a hug. The man standing at the door let out a huff in annoyance after being lift up from the ground, but patted his friend's arm nonetheless and waited to be put down. You guessed this was Ted's friend. 

The man was visibly surprised to see Ted greeting him so casually, but you could still notice the way his features softened, relieved to see his friend was safe. "There you are, you trouble maker!" he quickly says as Ted is finally putting him back on the ground. "You almost gave me a heart attack. What were you thinking going on your own without waiting for me? I told you this would happen!"

You take a few steps back from the door to give them a little space, hearing the way Ted starts apologizing to his friend before explaining everything that happened from the moment they separated.

"Healed you in seconds? How is that– a witch?" he asks, turning to look at you to catch you already staring at him, that nervous gaze from before making his eyes shine in a particular way it made them look just that much captivating. "Sorry...I wasn't really expecting that one."

"No worries. Perhaps you'd like to have a coffee or something before you have to leave?"

"That would be nice, thank you, but we have to get going right now before the hunters find him." Ted immediately let out a growl, complaining. The man gave him an unamused look. "She's done enough for you, don't you think?"

You chuckle at their last exchange, shaking your head. "It's okay. You're more than welcome to visit me anytime you'd like, my friend."

The man looked confused as to why you were able to understand his friend, but didn't comment on it. You are a witch after all. Ted turned your way and walked closer to you so he could embrace you. He was much bigger and taller than you, so you struggled a little before you were able to hug him back.

Ted was the first one to walk outside, his friend standing near your doorway with a shy smile on his face. "Thank you for helping him...it looks like he really likes you."

"I like him too, he's adorable. I'm glad nothing too bad happened to him."

He nodded, looking at the open door before turning back to you. "Me too...well, we should probably get going. Thank you again," he says, looking back at Ted before he quickly turns back to look at you as if he was forgetting something. "My name is Jack, by the way."

It was impossible not to smile back at how awkward he was. A good awkward, of course. You just met him but he already seems like the nicest guy on the planet. "Nice to meet you, Jack. I hope I'll be seeing you and Ted soon."

And to your luck, you did see them again. After a few days Ted appeared outside your kitchen window, excitedly waving at you. Jack followed closely behind, hands inside the pockets of his coat and the brightest of smiles when he saw you walking outside the cabin, greeting Ted with a hug.

Ever since then, they've become your best friends. You didn't have many chances to meet others and built long-lasting friendships. All your life you've been told you're too weird, so eventually you stopped trying to be liked by a world that simply couldn't give that to you.

But with Ted and Jack things were different. You've finally found two friends who genuinely care about you. They make you feel important and loved. It was an overwhelming feeling you didn't think you were deserving of in this lifetime.

You offered Jack some coffee and Ted some of the fruit he loved so much, chatting with them for a while before you excused yourself. You attend your garden, leaving both of them inside the house for a few minutes. Ted couldn't keep himself from letting out a sound very similar to a chuckle before saying something to Jack, who has been constantly looking outside the window that, casually, allows him to see you while you work.

"Oh, stop it! I wasn't– I'm not staring at her," was his poor attempt. Ted just laughs again. "What?" Jack looks horrified by what comes out of Ted's mouth. "Wha– no! I do not have a crush on her, what are you talking about?"

Ted was not amused, shaking his head after his friend's statement. Jack could never hide his true feelings from Ted no matter how hard he tries. He knows him a little too well, so it was obvious by the way Jack behaves around you that he has a crush on you.

"You're being ridiculous," Jack insisted, brushing him off. "I know better than that." Ted growls again right after, earning an annoyed look from Jack. "What do you mean 'what do you mean'? It's obvious she doesn't feel the same way, why would I even bother?"

Ted practically roared, not liking that last comment at all. There's nothing he hates more than hearing Jack put himself down. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say."

A pillow flew across the room and almost landed on Jack's face if it wasn't for the fact that he slapped it away before quickly grabbing it to throw it back at him with as much force as possible. Both of them were completely silent when the pillow stopped moving, floating in the middle of the room. Then, they turned to look at you standing in the doorway.

"Can't leave you two alone, apparently."

"Ted started it!"

"And you continued it," you argued with a swift move of your hand, the pillow landing back on the couch where it was before.

"Yeah, but...I was going to throw that pillow only because someone else did it first."

"I like how invested you are in this," you smiled, walking towards the kitchen to leave the basket with fresh vegetables and fruit that you got from the garden.

Jack followed you. "Well, I'm just trying to prove my innocence," he smiled back, both of you staring at each other in a way the had Ted growling as if he was trying to say 'are you kidding me?'

"What made you so upset?" you ask, focusing back on the basket, not realizing Jack gave him a warning look.

Ted gave his friend a look but eventually said something about Jack wanting to leave the cabin earlier than expected and he got upset because of it.

"Oh, you guys need to leave?" you asked with obvious disappointment.

Jack quickly shakes his head after your question. "I was just messing with him."

"Great! Then I'll cook a little something for you guys."

You didn't wait for an answer as you began working on the food. Jack didn't know exactly what to do so he just watched you in silence while Ted walked towards the door.

"Out?" Jack quickly asks when he hears Ted growl. "What if you get lost or something bad happens?"

"It's fine, he can take care of himself," you say in Ted's defense. "Don't wander too far away from the house, okay?"

Ted gave Jack a triumphant look, starting to make his way outside the house. Jack stood there like a complete fool, staring at the front door, completely mortified.

"You can join him if you worry about him getting in trouble," you suggested after noticing the expression on his face. Of course, you didn't know he's like this because Ted just left the two of you alone.

Jack shrugged. "He'll be fine."

You look at him a bit confused by the sudden change in his opinion regarding Ted being in the woods alone, but quickly decide to let the subject go. Instead, you focus on cutting and peeling a few vegetables.

While you were doing that, Jack just stood there, a terrible sting in the pit of his stomach, anguish and a sense of longing taking over him as he watched you. All of those feelings together almost made him feel sick.

It was so delusional to think he could ever have this. The joy of waking up next to you in the mornings, smelling your scent in all his clothes and all around him, watching you practice your spells, helping you cook...he's pretty sure he'll never get tired of it. Of any of it. It'd be lovely to have a chance with you, but he fears this domestic bliss will always be nothing but a dream.

"You're awfully quiet," you point out with a smile, hoping nothing bad was going on.

"I apologize," he quickly says, feeling more self aware than ever. He could practically feel his face burning, which was definitely not a good sign. "I got lost in my thoughts."

"Care to share?"

This time it was Jack the one smiling. "Not sure if I should."

"I'll find out sooner or later."

The comment made him laugh. "Oh, is that so? You're going to cast a spell or something?"

"Please," you scoffed. "I don't need magic to convince you to tell me," you quickly added, before changing the subject. "Speaking of magic though, how was that potion I made for you? Did it make you feel better after the full moon?"

"I slept like a baby," he replied with his characteristic smile. "I can't thank you enough."

"No need to thank me. Knowing I helped you is enough."

Jack was reaaaally struggling not to get this conversation to get to his head and make him believe things that are not there. You just want to help because you're his friend.

Oh, but it's hard to remember you're just a friend when you're looking at him with those beautiful eyes and being so incredibly caring and gentle with him. You're so perfect, it's actually painful.

Friends. Just friends. Platonic. Not a chance.

"You're doing it again, Jack," you warn playfully. Jack smiles shyly as he tries to avoid your gaze at all costs. He looked even more adorable than usual, something you didn't think was possible. "What could possibly be so important that you keep drifting away from our conversation?"

You're not really expecting an answer, as it was more of a statement than an actual question. Still, you notice the way Jack's gaze sets upon you, like trying to silently tell you something he can't or doesn't want to say out loud. You feel the tables turning as you find yourself avoiding his gaze now. He wasn't just looking, he was observing– analyzing you.

He lets out the cutest little chuckle when you look away from him. "Now, what's on your mind?"

"If you decide to tell me what you are thinking, perhaps I'll share."

Jack was still smiling when he lightly shook his head. "It doesn't sound fair."

"How is that not fair?" you protest.

"Believe me, it isn't," he insisted. "I have a lot to lose if I tell you."

"And how do you know I have nothing to lose if I tell you?"

Jack was suddenly quiet, scanning your face once more until the realization hit him. He felt so embarrassed, he was positive he's beginning to blush (if he wasn't already). "Are we– what are you thinking?" he says, almost frustrated.

It seems like you finally understand as well, having a similar reaction as him. "What are you thinking?" you repeat, feeling a knot in your stomach because you couldn't possibly be thinking the same thing...right? There's no way both of you were thinking the exact same thing all along?

You hear Jack's chuckle once more before he finally decides to confess. "I was thinking– and I have been thinking about this for a while, that I really like you. I've tried to tell myself we're just friends but I can't lie to myself when I know exactly how I feel," he says. You can't quite believe what you're hearing at that very moment. "Was...I'm sorry, was terrible. Is that– is that what you were thinking too or did I just make a complete fool of myself?

"You're not a fool, Jack," you quickly correct him. "I was thinking the same thing."

His eyes light up in an instant and you hoped that's not the last time you get to witness such a beautiful sight. "Really?"

"Yes, really!" you say as if it was obvious. "I was afraid to say anything because...well, I'm used to rejection. Not many people like witches, I guess."

"Not many people enjoy the company of werewolves, either," he replies."We do make quite the pair, don't you think?"

"Oh, definitely," you agree, giggling. There was a brief silence before you decided to speak. "So...now that we know we're on the same page about this, maybe we can grab a coffee or something? I know a good coffee shop in the town nearby that we can visit. Just...you know, the two of us."

"Those were a lot of words just to ask me on a date," Jack points out to tease you. "Coffee sounds great."

Neither you or Jack could stop smiling at this point, feeling so embarrassed by this confession but so relieved that the other feels the same.

You're not exactly sure when Ted was back inside the house, walking inside the kitchen with an excited growl. “What did I tell you about eavesdropping?” Jake asks with a grin.

[shizukufangirl]

A/N - Hello sweeties, I couldn't write chapter 2 yesterday because of the poll, looks like you guys picked both Chuuya and Dazai hehe, I hope you enjoy this.

Chapter 1 ↑

.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*..・゜゜・✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*.・゜゜・✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

You were on your bed, thinking of how could you possibly join the Armed Detective Agency.. Hmmm... What if you pretend that you were evil, but want to be 'kind' now?.. No, too obvious.

what if you pretend to be an orphan who's an ability user?.. No, too weird, your 21 for goodness sake!

Hm... What if you just pretend to be a normal human who just wants a job?

That was kind of strange.. But for this paycheck you would do anything, literally.

And you decided to tell Chuuya your plan.

• CHUUYA'S POV •

Fuck.. Why do I feel this way.. Everytime I'm with them my stomach feels weird.. Do i- No!! I can't get distracted by them, I need to sign these documents..

*knock knock*

• 3RD PERSON POV •

As [Name] knocked on Chuuya's door, they couldn't help but think.

'Osmanthus wine tastes the same as I remember-'

(Sorry, what [Name] actually thought of ↓)

'Is there someone in the ADA that's gonna know who I am immediately when I walk in?'

"Come in" it was Chuuya's slightly muffled voice.

You opened the door and you swore you could see Chuuya's face Redden a bit.

"Oh, it's you.."

"The one and only, why is your face so red Chuuya? *gasp* don't tell me.. You have a crush on someone!"

"Wha-?! No I don't! It's just hot in here!"

"Yeah sure.. Anyways I have something to tell you...

---------------------------------------------------------------------

"Really? That's the ''Genius'' plan that you made up?"

"Hey! That's the best one that I could think of!"

"Whatever.. This may be your weirdest 'plan', but it may work, good job"

Achievement Unlocked! - Praise from the big bad executive :3

"Yay! Thanks Chuuya!"

"Your welcome..?"

---------------------------------------------------------------------

It was finally the day if the plan.

As you were walking down the street, you suddenly bumped into someone

They had messy brown hair, a long sand-colored trench coat, brown eyes and bandages literally almost every where

'Bingo'

"Oh! I'm really sorry sir, I wasn't looking at where I was going."

"It's fine..."

"Huh?"

"But Miss/Mr... Would you be willing to commit double suicide with me?"

Now that's a question our dear [Name] didn't expect

'This is the Dazai Osamu? He looks goofy..'

"THERE YOU ARE YOU TROUBLESOME BLOCKHEAD!"

Yelled out a voice that belonged to a man with dirty blonde hair tied into a low ponytail with glasses

His yell startled you, making you let out a little Yelp in Surprise.

"Oh! You found me Kunikida, Well done!"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN WELL DONE?!"

"I-"

"Ugh, I'm so sorry for his behavior, Mx."

"Aha.. It's fine."

"Did he do anything to you??"

"No! He didn't, he just asked me if I wanted to commit double suicide with him.. "

"Ugh that bastar- are you okay Mx.? You look troubled"

"Ah, about that, I'm looking for a part time job"

"Oh~"

The man, Dazai moaned hummed (?), he then looked at Kunikida as if saying 'you know what I'm thinking?'

Then Dazai suddenly said..

"Then.. Do you want to join the armed detective agency, Mx.?"

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Hehe, can you tell that I forgot the entirety of episode 1? Did you also notice the genshin reference at the beginning?

Chapter 3 will be posted tomorrow, if I made any mistakes please tell me sweetie :)

Also, good luck on getting Alhaitham/Clorinde!

Also, question of the day ↓

[kneelingshadowsalome]

I really love having places like your fantastic blog were we can explore insane, evil or out of the norm characters like your König without shame! Without weird looks from others or being judged for liking that kind of stuff. For me, even as a child I always found the broken, evil or (seemingly) villainous characters soooo much more appealing than the heros or knights in shining armour. For example, I always found the villains in sailor moon waaay cooler than the good characters! And that's still the case as a grown up for me when I consume media.

And I'm obviously not alone, seeing everyone here go crazy about your yandere König or fics with dark themes and characters in general. You said somewhere, that you weren't sure about the reactions to just friends when you posted it but honestly - I'm not surprised at all that everyone likes it so much! I think it's very healthy to explore dark themes through fiction and it's a great outlet for our normal everyday lifes. As well as the smut that comes with these problematic characters! I'm in a very loving and healthy relationship with my partner and I wouldn't want it any other way, but reading stories with that kind of dark sexual content just soothes that little itch inside of me and I really enjoy the thought experiments that come with this.

It seems a lot of people here (or in general) are surprised, that they are so into this kind of stuff. So I'm just rambling in your ask box because I think there's nothing wrong with being enamoured with content like this and it's fantastic, that we can all explore it together, inspire each other and let loose a bit! <3

Yes! Oh my god I'm so here for you and all the people who have an itch for madness and morally grey characters 🩷🩷🩷 this is absolutely a safe space for exploring yandere König or brat tamer Ghost or whatever else that's a little bit broken, without shame.

This message was so sweet and I read it like ten times with a huge smile on my face because it's just so liberating and loving. I'm so happy to have found all you lovely people to share these crazy thoughts & obsess over fictional PTSD men with.

I'm also a firm believer in that it is only healthy to explore our "shadow" through art. And I consider fanart, fanfiction, all this creativity and brainstorming here art – it's creative, it's fun, it does what art is supposed to do: it inspires thought and emotion and connection 💗 These things are what make us human and it's better to have some kind of an outlet than none at all.

And I mean... I could analyze what's at work behind the attraction to these characters/dynamics, sure... I could debate from different feminist (not to talk of psychological 🫠) viewpoints how problematic it is and what it reveals of me when I'm entertained when writing or reading this shit. But nope, not gonna deep-dive into that in here, and not going to kink-shame myself or anyone else here either.

And like you said – it's not that serious! The world is kinda crazy and we all have our worries, we all have our hopes and fears and quirks. Why not have some fun with toxic König while we're at it. No harm, no foul.

Thank you so much for this message and I hope you have a lovely day 💋🩷💞

[reservedlisting]

I normally dont make posts on tumblr but considering I dont want to continue harassing people on discord with my thoughts about hotd I'm gonna rant here :') this is literally just for me and i dont expect anyone to read this or make any sense of my insane ramblings.

this show is SO SO SO SO SOOOO SO0O0O0O0O00o0oo0o0o0o0o baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad! I could and have written an entire thesis about it so I won't do that here but my god it's offensively bad.

The way that women are written and in turn men are written in juxtaposition to women. As a woman I am genuinely offended and Im dutch and me so I dont get easily offended. Yes, I have some issues with how George writes women and girls but fundamentally women are allowed to be humans and be flawed but also have those flaws pointed out in the story. In that way men and women arent any differently written in asoiaf.

Hotd women are allowed to be flawed (Only Alicent's flaws are lingered on though) but also lets gloss over it when its convenient so that we can pretend women are all just peaceful little lambs and its the evil men that want bloodshed (Nvm rhaenyra having the servant killed so she can marry Daemon and have her husband leave under threat, alicent having larys burn Mysaria's house down, Rhaenys literally having the highest body count by committing acts of terrorism during the coronation). Until we are actually given a Very Good Reason :tm: the reason being this prophecy bullshit that has infused the show with the worst writing imaginable. They didn't learn from season 1 when everyone already hated the prophecy inclusion, nope they just doubled down on it. Just having to hear rhaenyra yap yap yap about this shit made me wish I was aborted like the alicole baby.

Its also so funny how they're like ah yes we'll have this person call rhaenyra a whore or a cunt so that we are in fact reminded that these are bad people that we shouldnt support. Like wow thanks for that signal show, I didnt pick up your more "subtle" clues. Then i have to see tweets with 20k+ likes about how criston deserves to die.. not daemon though for actually choking rhaenyra or calling alicent a whore (because the audience actually agrees with that lbr)

Then there is the BLATANT biased. It's about as subtle as a brick to the face. Condal (who is a clown for many reasons) pretending theres some kind of equality between the sides doesn't actually make it so. it's so obvious that they want everyone to support Rhaenyra and despite her completely irrational behaviour. Oh no those sexist lords in the council, meanwhile she's been off for days on end and then comes back with nothing to offer and then leaves AGAIN. As if these men arent risking their own hides by supporting her. Ofc Rhaenyra wants to go to war but is "smartly" talked out of it because "ohno cant risk you" and meanwhile everything that Aegon does is painted as stupid even though they almost work out.

Why am I supposed to think Aegon is an idiot for thinking that a king needs to be on the front line? as they have been many times throughout history? Of course he's gonna be pissed when they make plans without him. And then you have useless Alicent, never have I been turned off a favourite character so quickly and I genuinely loved her in s1, they really had to try very hard here but they've managed to make me dislike her. You're not logan roy girl, youre just boring as fuck and contribute absolutely nothing. Maybe you shouldve actually tried to prepare Aegon for rule in the decades since he was born instead of whining about how your evil sons dont listen to you.

its funny how tb people on twitter were made about comparison posts about aegon and alicent vs paul atreides and Lady Jessica. Because somehow Paul killing 61 billion people is less bad than whatever Alicent and Aegon do... meanwhile I'm actually mad that Alicent isn't in fact remotely like lady jessica. I genuinely wish she was because at least that would make her compelling. Instead of this useless figure we see now. Her relationship with her children especially aegon was always fraught. But she clearly loved them. Despite my hate hate relationship with ep8 that moment between Aegon and Alicent in the carriage and in the dragonpit was one of the best moments. Now even that is ruined.

The blatant bias really shone through in episode 4 to the point that I just had to laugh. And then reading what condal has to say or what TGC said they wanted him to do. I might as well be reading tb fanfic on ao3 and I might get to read a fairer treatment of the characters.

The fact that we also have seen extensive scenes of tb with their dragons but sunfyre, the most beautiful dragon and Aegon, the two that have the strongest bond get about 1 sec cause god forbid people actually like Aegon and see a human side to him. Ofc Condal said that was propaganda and that Syrax the golden was actually his fave dragon (truly a clown of a man).

On top of that they just pile all the shit on Aegon but ofc we must remember that he is a rapist and we cannot support him. Funnily enough it's made him the most compelling character by a country mile. Actually might be the only compelling character atp.

Aemond is a clown, alicent ditto. Tb are all boring as shit. Cant even include a lil bit of bastard drama for rhaenys and corlys cause obviously she's soooo understanding. YAWN. She's also super courageous ofc. And then there's ofc the stans who will defend anything their fave does cause stan brainrot. Instead of calling out the shitty writing they'll just double down that their fave did nothing wrong (aka aemond and alicent stans mostly, cause i dont even see tb's idiotic takes most of the time)

And its such a waste cause they have this giant budget, it looks pretty and there's tiny glimpses of interesting things and themes here and there but these writers are simply not competent, they're in fact incompetent. Half the show reads as fanfic and i say that with all due respect to fanfic as an avid reader.

then there's also the fact that they manage to create zero emotional connection with anyone so even scenes that are supposed to be good just arent. Like why the fuck would i give a shit about the cargyll twins killing eachother? cause you put some good music under it?

dont even get me started on b&c... i wasnt even planning on watching this season and i heard the complaints about b&c and i thought no way is it that bad. I saw gifsets they looked fine. And then I (stupidly) decided to tune in and I literally burst out in laughter cause the way it was filmed was just comical in places?!?! it was even worse than i had anticipated after the complaints somehow?!

Funnily enough sunfyre's cries were the only time I actually felt a strong emotion watching this show (other than the anger I feel at how bad this show is)

It's funny how people say that f&b bad and a dry historical account and sure but even then George manages to make me feel more about characters with one line that this show manages to do with all the power that a visual medium has.

and let me not forget about this show's sudden need to have its tongue firmly lodged up viserys' ass, what a great king indeed.

AANND then there's the PANDERING to the worst of the d*ny stans (who funnily enough dont even appreciate being pandered to so congrats condal). Rhaenyra is and never will be dany. This show is really written for the sansa will braid dany's hair crowd. Iykyk. Forcing in that friendship beyond the point of reason making the characters just acts stupid, and not in a people act stupid way but in its actually bad writing way. And then having to force in the prophecy even more for that and to give rhaenyra a righteous reason. And lets not forget the white stag in season 1 but sure Condal doesnt take sides Then the addition of the dragon eggs which he finally had to walk back probably cause he sensed the rancid vibes i was sending his way. Its so clear that HBO wants to sell their Boss Queen merch but then actually she's written in a way that's so bland and wants to take absolutely no action that there isnt really anything remotely boss bitch about her, completely coasting on young rhaenyra's personality cause older rhaenyra is again boring as shit. I guess now that she has Viserys' "permission" to rule she'll actually do something but i really dgaf at this point. But sell that merch I guess

Every time its some reviewer saying NOWWW the rREALLY great episode is coming on and every time im disappointed and episode 4 actually infuriated me to the point I had to stop watching and rant on discord several times.

this also never shouldve been the story told directly after game of thrones cause its so obvious how much theyve been influenced by it and writing in response to it, to its detriment. And now I'll never actually get to watch a good version of the dance. And if the viewership keeps dropping i might not see any good awoiaf adaptation again

I thought that after season 1 and the time jumps out of the way they might produce something half way decent but NOPE its somehow MUCH WORSE

Anyway hope Condal gets haunted like Daemon has been. Fuck him and this garbage show.

I havent even touched on everything here and this is completely incoherent but writing something coherent and semi intelligent is just more effort than this show is worth. Anyway call me when a knight of the seven kingdoms comes out, I can't imagine they could fuck that up. But who knows what new depths of shitness we might reach.

at least d&d had the decency to give us a few good seasons

[torturingpeople]

WIP 001: Hilbert's Grand Hotel

Synopsis:

Being a doctor is a hard but rewarding job. And there was nothing more important to this young, recently-qualified doctor than his beloved Hippocratic Oath. It detailed all of his beliefs in his profession as a pathologist perfectly; first, do no harm, I must not play at God, I will not be ashamed to say “I know not” and so on and so forth.

But this was all upended when he landed himself in a paradoxical hotel, be it by circumstance or fate, hiding in his room with no home to call his own. As the halls and doors shifted around him, payment of his hotel bills eluded him (or rather, he evaded them) for three full months. Keeping to his room, reticent, he tended to avoid the prowling Staff Members; he knew all too well of their desperation to pounce on the opportunity laying right in front of them to send him to a fate worse than death. Once he was inevitably discovered, they leapt, and he was stripped of all his possessions. His room was wiped clean, as if he had never set a foot in it.

He would have very well died, there was no doubt, unless fate hadn't smiled upon him, in its own strange, reprobate way. 

Descending from upon high comes Dr. Roland Hanna, the Lead Doctor at Hilbert’s Grand Hotel, to save him. Impossibly charismatic, spoiled with power, cruel and unusual, the maddened tyrant wastes no time in making him an offer he can’t refuse. Quite literally, lest he fall back into the hands of the Staff - so he falls forward into the hands of evil. Even if the doors of Heaven close on him at Judgement Day, if he wants to keep his life now, he has no choice; his arm is twisted; he has to say ‘yes’.

Tag to navigate all of my posts about HGH

(Character summaries and some more notes under the cut ^_^)

The Main Character (a.k.a. "The Pathologist" or "MC")

The main character, unnamed through the entire book, hails back to some of the most classic whump-y protagonists of the 20th century, much like Nick Carraway from The Great Gatsby or Winston Smith from 1984. He takes barely any action and merely lets tragedy happen to him until he needs to act, and following his gut never ends well. He is hopelessly attracted to the codependent and horribly toxic relationship he has with his boss, Roland Hanna, but refuses adamantly to acknowledge it despite it bleeding through the plot constantly. He is perfectly inept in everything he does and perfectly insecure for Dr. Hanna to manipulate. All-in-all, he is the ideal victim of a main character -- he writes the book himself in first-person and you are privy to his inner monologue and descent into madness through the book.

The Lead Doctor, Roland Hanna (a.k.a. "Dr. Hanna" or "Roland")

Roland is very much the epitome of a Machiavellian villain. The ends will, without a doubt, justify whatever means he needs to use to get them, and he will see nothing standing in his way to get what he wants. He is a master of manipulation and a manager of both his own and others' human emotions; there is never a moment where you can guess if he is sincere or not. (He most likely isn't.) He also has some pervasive sort of attraction to the main character but is never truly explicit about it, always being hidden under some subterfuge to pull the main character closer into his grasp. Standing at seven feet, frighteningly saccharine, it's impossible not to be drawn into his charm and euphemistic language, and just as impossible to pull yourself out of it.

Other Notes

i felt like it was about high time to post about my wip! considering the first draft is nearly done! it's a little crazy to think about LOL. originally this was based on hilbert's paradox of the grand hotel after thinking about what the hotel would be like if it were real... and it erupted into this massive thing thanks to my english teachers encouraging me to write it haha. it's become my magnum opus right now and i'm so close to finishing my first draft, and i'm hoping to take it to a publisher once i have a few more drafts done! (i hope posting about it here doesn't cause me any problems with trad publishing down the line ^_^;;)

[quinloki]

I am loving seeing everyone's self-ship asks on your blog today! We're all down so bad for our blorbos, it's lovely <3

That being said, you know why I'm here--that Hedonistic Peacock™ has taken up residence in my brain and won't leave, and there are feathers everywhere. I think I have fallen down the rabbit hole (flamingo-hole? no...no that's not right at all) with Doffy so hard precisely because he's not like characters I normally simp for. IRL, I am a carer. I've been (correctly) accused of being a mellower Baby 5, I need people to need me to feel validated, and usually fall for anime dudes who clearly need/deserve someone to keep them happy and healthy to some degree--Spike Spiegel (the OG blorbo), Law, Zoro.

But Doflamingo? He doesn't need me. He has anything he needs and wants, even if it comes with a price. So feeling chosen by someone who wants for nothing, who could have anything he desired and still chose my devil fruit-less self because of...whatever reasons? I'm into it. There's also something attractive to me about the idea that, cliche as it is, I could make him "better" and he could make me considerably worse. It's appealing that there could be someone who doesn't necessarily want to help me work on fixing my character flaws, but instead encourages and revels in my very worst behaviors and still adores me anyway.

Thanks for listening to me therapize myself via blorbos XD

Lo. My sweet friend. We daydream about this man for similar - but different reasons (also I have been living on your head canon posts today, THANK YOU).

I love the idea of being able to just be Evil by being with him. Maybe I have a hidden dark, cruel streak, and there's a chance he could bring it out.

Crocodile would never allow it - little treasure, for him to protect and desire on his own, wouldn't let me be corrupted by his business, but Doflamingo would.

And I worry I'd almost become crueler.

So, to say, I get it. Let me revel in the dark depths I would never consider in truth. Let me give in the base desires that claw at the back of my mind - or something. But yes! Yes! Maybe the only reason he even has for being interested is because you are a good person.

Too good. Too kind. Too altruistic. It must simply be a facade, he decides, and takes you into his care >.> But it's not! He's been too close for too long and there's no mask there for it to slip. You are you and he is almost FURIOUS and --

ah.

I'm going to really go on a journey if I don't stop there. Ahem. I'm encroaching more than I meant to, sorry. Thank you for sharing! Even though I got a little swept away for a moment ^_^

Tell me about your self-ships!

[mushiewrites]

CONRGRATS!!!! 300 followers is so cool I’m so happy for you! :D

for the fics, what inspired rise & shine and what possessed you to write Round One and The short(s) Struggle

from this milestone post / rise & shine / round one / the short(s) struggle

I am excited about explaining all of these, they are all so special to me omg elliot thank u for sending them in <3

also loving that you asked what possessed me, bc honestly I have no idea :D but whatever it was, it needs to do it again right now

rise & shine was written purely out of spite and 1000000% towards summer bc she was being a little shit and I was feeling evil.

exhibit A:

once summer told me she thought george was the meanest, I went with sap with the lee bc I hc both of them with horribly sensitive thighs, so it was always gonna be between snf since the target spot I had in mind....was thighs (gee I wonder why???????)

after that I kind of blacked out and wrote it. It was done pretty quickly, like I've mentioned before I'm way more motivated to finish something when it's targeted at someone else! (: it's just more fun and it doesn't really feel like I'm pressured to finish it or anything bc I want to sooooo bad anyways! and like I did with my other fics targeted at summer (yes there are multiple! :D) I just included things I knew got to her, and bam, good reactions!

exhibit B & C:

so yeah, this is why rise & shine was made! there was no planning in advance, nothing leading up to writing the fic, it was simply bc summer was being a little shit and I was feeling evil enough to write a reaaaaaally mean fic at her <3

I do it purely for the "MUSHIE", which I have sooooo many screenshots saved of <3

- - - - - - - -

okay......round one. okay. look. this was also for lee!george week, and it was born bc I NEEDED to do an intense tk day. it's just my branding, I needed them to destroy poor lil georgie ):

it's a litttttttttle bit self indulgent Im not gonna lie. a lot of what was written was from possibly personal experience, and I really just tried to write a lot of what I thought would be super intense tks for george (I also added in lil digs at someone but I will not be naming who <3)

I wanted to explore things that I hadn't publicly posted yet, like oil and some specific tools. I actually had a lot more plans for this fic, a lot more spots and tools and techniques, but I was running out of time, and left it off so I could revisit it as a sequel (which I absolutely am, I already have some plans written out)

but uh....mostly this one was self indulgent. I can't even lie about it, it was definitely written for me (and a few other people) more than anything 🫠

that's all I'm saying about round one (: <333333

- - - - - - - -

short struggle!!!! my tiny sap in his tiny shorts!!!!! literally was inspired by the tiny shorts he was wearing when he streamed a clothing haul when he was in LA <3 my brain chemistry has never been the same since <3

like….look at him???????

I have been saying this for half of my fics but like….I really was just mindless when I wrote this? I saw sap thighs and immediately got the idea for dream and george to latch on and never ever EVERRRRRRRR let go <3

sap is so tiny and small and a baby panda, and normally I love when people are sweet to him, but I just needed him to get his shit absolutely ROCKED in this, I have no explanation really, just that my brain went insane and I made dnf do what I wanna do to him :3

this was cals reaction in the middle of me writing the fic btw:

“why me!?” is one of my favorite lil dialogues I’ve written for sap just bc I can hear it so clearly in his lil raspy voice through his lil raspy giggles with his lil nose scrunch <3

short(s) struggle was purely bc sap couldn’t help but show off his thighs on stream, and i couldn’t help but destroy them <3333333

[hedgiwithapen]

🌀❄️🌤️ 🌧️

🌀Post the fic summary for a fic you haven't written/published yet. (hypothetical, i revolve it in my brain but haven't writttten it yet, but s3 of Stargirl au...) Mike and Jakeem are determined to solve the murder first, proving once and for all that they deserve to be full members of the JSA. Sometimes, that calls for drastic measures... like making a very specific wish. And sometimes the Thunderbolt finds the most chaotic way to fulfil it. Like, for example, a box of kittens. ❄️Share a snippet from a WIP of your choosing. more from the Thawne Timetravel AU with Windona

Bart tilted his head. “But you already report on the Flash. And I think you’d make the best journalist ever. And what can the Flash do with his speed? Can he vibrate his molecules through things? I bet he can, I worked out the math!”

Cisco tilted his head. Mistrust of Meloni Williams’ knowledge of speedsters aside…a little kid couldn’t exactly be an evil mastermind. And even if he could be, that meant it was his job to use the math for the side of good, right? “Really? Can I see?”

🌤️Share your favorite piece of dialogue from your WIP. I'm really fond of that above bit! but also Meloni’s professional mask shot back into place, covering something Jason didn’t catch. “I see.  Well, Dr. McGee has all of our backs. If you tell her about the project, she’ll see to it that it doesn’t…” she paused, choosing her words carefully, “haunt you. And so will I.” “Uh…thanks, Dr. Williams.  I’ll let you know, I guess? I just…” he let out a breath “guess I just wanted someone else to know, let me know I’m not paranoid or something.” She smiled again, briefly. “Thank you for telling me.  If anything comes up, don’t hesitate to call. And Jason--Mr Rusch?” “Yeah?” “Make sure you sweep your house for bugs.”

🌧️Share something angsty from your WIP. (again from the time travel AU with Windona because that's the main thing I have actually worked on lately)

Meloni nodded, turning the design over in her mind. “And there’s an emergency shutoff? In case anyone besides this, uh, Speedster gets trapped?” she checked the numbers again, and frowned. Something did not sit right in her gut. The trap looked like it would work, in theory at very least, but it was the how that concerned her.

“Yes, of course,” Cisco said, an edge to his voice. He shoved hair behind his ear, rescuing a tablet pen, and then noted her stares.

“Assuming they’re alive,” she whispered,a note of horror creeping into her voice. “Why is this trap designed to constantly harm any occupant?” 

Dr. Wells looked up from his whiteboard. “Because, Dr. Williams, a metahuman like the Reverse Flash can withstand that pain and needs to be contained by whatever means necessary.”

[omnishambl3s]

Chapter 8

He supposed his tactics had worked, because they had been making themself more a of a nuisance than ever. 

They had tried multiple times, multiple ways, to draw his attention. 

While he was working on painting one of the props for their set, they cleared his work station with a single hand and then sat there in its place, right in front of him on the table. 

He responded by heaving a sigh and gathering his items from the floor. As he bent over, they made a comment on how he good looked like that. 

“Don’t move. Just like that,” they cracked a smile, stretching out over the table on their stomach, head in their hands and feet in the air. “You should just work like that.” 

He had merely arched a judgmental brow at them before flipping them over onto their back and pushing them off the table. They huffed, clearly bored, suspicious, and annoyed. 

They’d also tried instigating fights in his silence. 

“You’ve probably heard this before, but you look like… one of those tumblr sicklyboys.” They smirked at him. 

“A what? Tumblr? Does that even exist anymore?” He put on a confused look as he pressed the staple gun into the wall and pulled the trigger, securing the wallpaper. 

He knew what a tumblr sicklyboy was, and yes, he had heard it before. He was gay and listened to My Chemical Romance throughout not only middle school, but also high school. Of course, he knew his way around tumblr.

“Nothing.” They responded too quickly, sighing shortly, diverting their attention back to rolling glue on the false wall they’d constructed. Silas cut his eyes at them with a smirk. 

“I bet you run an aesthetic blog. Complete with edgy quotes and poetry about blood and love like a knife and whatever.” He teased, grinning. 

���I don’t know what that is.” They smirked, eyes trained on their work. 

“But you know what a sicklyboy is?” He arched a challenging brow, still grinning. 

“Just like you know what an aesthetic blog is? With the quotes and poetry?” They shot him a teasing but clearly irritated look. 

“Klaus. I was 12 once. I listened to MCR – hell, I even made like 40 copies of that one album, just in hopes that Gerard Way would come to my house and suck my blood. And, more importantly, I’m gay. So yeah, I know about tumblr. You’re my poor little meow meow or whatever.” He rolled his eyes, continuing to apply the wallpaper, and missed the tinge of pink his final claim put on their cheeks. 

“I bet you run a shitty meme blog. I bet it’s not even funny.”

“I bet your run a gore blog. You probably post snuff.” 

They paused and smirked at him. Wolf eyes. 

Yeah, that was it. 

“I bet you run a porn blog. So bad that everyone has you blocked because they think you’re a porn bot.” 

Silas scoffed.

“Yeah, everyone except you.”

“You fucking wish. I bet you have terrible, batshit insane, terminally online opinions. I bet you think that shitty couples in media is toxic representation and glorification of abuse or something stupid like that.”

Silas cracked a laugh.

“You better thank your lucky stars I don’t, because I’d never fucking talk to you if I did.”

“What does that mean?” 

“Klaus, you are toxic representation.” 

Klaus gasped, feigning offense. 

“How dare you.” 

Silas chuckled.

“Shall I list the ways thou art god-awful?” 

“If it pleases you.” Klaus sighed, feigning annoyance.

“For starters you’re a twink,” Klaus let out a resounding sneer, no longer feigning their offense. “Worse, you're like, a murdertwink. And you’re bitchy. And kind of evil. You have the audacity of a fucking dictator.” 

“Thank you.” 

“Case in point. And you’re wildly manipulative. Like, it’s your favorite hobby. Not even an exaggeration.”

“None of that is remotely true.” 

“Now you’re gaslighting me. You’re literally a terrible person.” He grinned. 

“You adore me for my atrocities.”

“Considering most, if not all of them are for me?” 

Klaus scoffed, suddenly red in the face and balking. 

“You fucking wish. What, you want me to admit you’re my evil muse or something?” 

Silas smiled broadly, realizing they’d just admitted as much. He felt brilliant in every sense of the word. 

“Don’t look at me like that.” They glowered. 

“Like what?”

“Like you’re all smug and pleased or something. Disgusting.”  

“You know what?” 

“…what?” They hissed, eyes narrowed. 

He shoved their back into the wall and swiftly unrolled the wallpaper over them, stapling it on their other side. 

“Silas, you little fucking…” They hissed, paper crackling as they squirmed. “I’m going to find your blog just to send you suicide bait.” 

He cackled, taking his phone out to snap a picture. He was so busy photographing their humiliating moment that he missed them pull a knife from their pocket. 

In one deft line, the knife cut through the wallpaper, revealing an incensed Klaus. 

Their eyes were dark and smoldering – not in the sexy way, in the I’m about to kill you way. Although… Silas supposed those things were not mutually exclusive and could even be synonymous when it came to Klaus. 

Oh, wait. Right, they had a knife. 

“Oh shit.” 

“Yes, Silas, oh shit.” They hissed, and suddenly they had him by the collar, with their knife at their throat. He let out a shaky breath. 

A beat passed in silence as Silas wondered once more whether he was scared, turned on, or both. He tried to swallow the flush he felt rising to his cheeks.

He shoved them into the wall and put the staple gun to their neck. 

They smirked, eyes flickering down for a moment before sifting over his face. They smiled, seeming pleased. 

He moved the staple gun over to their shoulder, adjusting his finger on the trigger, keeping his gaze trained on their own. 

“I’ll do it.” He breathed. He kind of really wanted to. 

“Then do it.” They cut the first button off his shirt. His teeth pulled at his bottom lip unawares. 

He wondered if they wanted him to hurt them, or if they just wanted to test his loyalty – to test if he’d obey. He remembered when they were choking him. How they had called his bluff, how they saw that he’d liked it. He wanted to drive them into that same corner. 

He wondered if they’d back down if he questioned them. 

“You want me to hurt you?” He teased, voice dropping low, somewhat raspy. 

“I want to see if you have the balls to do it. Or do you not want to? Do you not hate me enough?” Their grin was terrible, all haughty and dark. He was certain that last part was going to haunt him at night. Do you not hate me enough? 

Their tone and words and grin seemed to pull some previously undiscovered loose thread in his stomach. He felt something come undone in a single instant. 

He pulled the trigger and they let out a pained sound – though, not the kind he had expected. Muffled by the pull of teeth at their lip: pained, undeniably, but unmistakably lewd. Their head had craned back into the wall, brows knit and mouth agape. 

He took a moment to appreciate the vision: anguish and pleasure all wrapped up in a horrible little bow. 

“Anguish looks great on you,” he breathed before tearing the staple back out, drawing another muffled sound from the other. 

Their face had gone red and breathing measured and heavy, eyes forced shut. They looked like they were struggling to stand, as if their knees threatened to buckle. 

“Feeling alright, princess?” He grinned into their ear. He felt them stifle their next reaction, turning their head to reveal their neck as they looked at their bleeding wound, pressing the pads of if their index finger to it, pulling away with bloody fingers.

They bit their lip, failing to regulate their breathing before driving their bloodied hand into his hair and slamming his back into the wall. They always had been too good at turning tables. 

They cut the second button from his shirt, hand still fisted tightly in his hair.

He had never seen the look they were wearing. Not on them, not on anyone. Mirth, bloodlust, and… well, what he assumed to be their own personal version of lust. He was certain his own face was showing at least the latter. Because good god, he didn’t think he’d ever been so turned on in his life. 

They shucked the third button, pulling his shirt open and pressing their blade into his chest. Their eyes flickered back up to his, as if silently asking permission. Being that his heart was pounding in his ears and his blood hot, he let his face do the talking for him, the hint of a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. He watched their teeth pull at their lip as they grinned wryly. 

It burned, sharp pain scorching through his skin as they dragged the edge of their blade into his chest. It was only a couple inches, but it was perfect. He failed to fight his smile, mind going haywire and hazy. 

They pressed their fingers into the wound, making him hiss at the pain. 

A million fuzzy thoughts flooded his head as they took their bloodied fingers into their mouth, eyes locked on his. 

That they were such a bitch, sick and twisted and that of course they got off on this kind of thing. How fuck, that was ineffably hot. How he wanted more. How his body really wanted more and if he wasn’t careful they’d probably sock him in the dick. How his blood was rushing, hot and sweet. How he was afflicted in a new and terrible way. How good it felt. How he felt like a stick of dynamite, his too-short wick dangerously close to the flame – and they were the flame. How he wanted to tear their shirt open and put his mouth on their own wound. How he wanted to snatch their wrist and put their bloody fingers in his mouth. And taste his blood on their tongue.

He had to stop thinking. 

Well, wasn’t that terrible. 

“I knew you liked it.” They whispered, eyes full of sadistic mirth. 

“I’m not the one who moaned. Seems to me you more than liked it.”