#so you at least gotta give training programs)

[tired-and-unjellied]

"If you go work at an interim agency, they will put you in a company for 3 weeks to one month, then you might get a permanent contract from the company"

[yoshirage]

Body swap diaries: PETER’s CYOC

After months of training and studying, I stood there proudly with fellow agents and superiors in the lower levels of Area 51 awaiting for my first mission as a full fledge secret service agent. It was a grueling time to the point that out of 50 candidates, only 3 of us actually made it.

We hear a gruff raspy voice from the intercom. “Welcome new agents and congratulations. You all are now officially part of the secret service which; as you all know, deals with more covert missions regarding this country. So please meet up with your superiors to discuss your first mission.”

All of the agents dispersed and so did I, and made it to Mr. Carlson’s office. I open the door and see a half naked man with curly hair frantically trying to put his clothes on.

“Ahh dammit looks like i forgot to close that damn door again. Lock it for me will you Peter.” I locked the door behind and sat at one of the office chairs trying not to look and stare at my supervisor’s body. “Hahaha come on now Peter, don’t be so shy. This isn’t the first you’ve seen me in another body.” He was right, but the usual bodies he’s in are the bigger hairy daddy types.

“So i guess you took my advice huh”

“ yeah. Went with someone younger and chose this guy named Jon to take for my time off. Gotta say its a different feeling.” He flexes his arms.

“You look great sir”

“Hahaha thanks Peter. Now since you were the highest achieving agent we have, i decided to assign you as a personal guard for a past president. As may know, any two term US president that finishes their service gets assigned a lifetime agent to help with safety and security, and they are also enrolled with the ‘reincarnation program’ which…

“Gives the ex president and their partner, a choice to have their consciousness transferred to another person’s body.”

“Very good Peter!” He claps his hands “now of course they can opt out of it if they choose to, but we at least wanna give them a taste of it and see if its for them.”

“Isnt it too early for Mr Obama to be in this program?”

“Yes you’re right which is why I’m assigning you to George W bush.”

“Wait isnt there someone already assigned to Mr. Bush?”

“There was, but we are reassigning Gary to a much more… lets just covert mission.” I just nod my head knowing exactly what he means.

“Now Mr Bush has been living in his current body Bruno for almost a year in Brazil.”

“How about the real Bruno.”

“He’s living life as Mr. Bush. We programmed him to practically BE George Bush… memories and all” i nod my head. “ now Mr Bush has been alerted of the change in staff but I would like you to travel to Brazil and introduce yourself”

“No problem sir. Will do”

“I also gave the guys at the lab the Ok to swap you with someone else for this mission, of course you don’t have to.”

I thought about it for a short while and decided to swap. “ Thank you sir. I will go right now.”

“Sounds good. Here is a catalog of the guys that are available.”

I look over it and saw Jon’s body with the amount of $10,000 right by his name. “Damn! I cant believe this kid is getting paid $10,000 to swap bodies with an agent” i thought to myself.

“now if you’ll excuse me. I think its officially time for me to start my Time off.”

“Have fun sir and Ill see you when you get back.”

I leave his office and made my way towards the all the while looking at the catalog.

“Hey Peter!” I waved at Vinh “ Mr Carlson told me all about your mission. So have you thought about which body you want.”

I looked over the catalog one last time…. “This one” I said

(Which of these guys should Peter switch with. From top to bottom: Joey, Christian, Larry, Leon).

[itsybitsybatsyspider]

Connor and Gavin Besties Dynamic would include

Connor trying to be the one above the call-outs and banter that Gavin throws at him in the workplace, for the sake of professionalism

but the second he's off the clock it is ON

Connor also being petty at work in retaliation

they have the dynamic of that one tiktok where this guy is cooking fried chicken in the bathroom as he's taking a shower so that his friend wouldn't steal it, and then his friend breaks in with a screwdriver and and still steals it.

Gavin would take a picture of Hank's living room and use it as his background during FaceTime calls

"Hey... hey Connor come here, i need to tell you something."

"I don't trust you."

"No seriously, I promise I'm not gonna do anything it's for the case."

"......Fine... what is it?"

*burps in his face*

"....... I swear to-"

Connor gets one of those ice cream quart padlocks and locks Gavin's ice cream at the precinct

Gavin just saws off the bottom of the container and eats it like that out of spite.

* Connor and Gavin at a bar*

Gavin: you better step down, son, taking this whole thing too far. Hold me back, Connor. I'm serious, hold me back, Connor! I'm seRIOUS HOLD ME BAC-......... why aren't you holding me back?

"Excuse me, Gavin but i have those reports for the Carey case right here for you on my desk."

"I ain't falling for my own joke, tin can."

"No, I am serious. And even if i was trying to pull the same joke, i am incapable of eructation."

"Oh... well okay the-"

T̶̝̳̍͛͜H̷̨̻͕̪̣͗Ę̵̬͔̬̹̄͜ ̵͙̫͇̰̺̗̈́̎̍̅̕F̷̧̼̟̪̱͕̑Į̶̟̖̠̮̈́́Ţ̵̲̯̤̪̄̄N̴̳̍Ẹ̷̅̈́̌̉̊̚͜S̸̨̰͔̿̄̀̿͝S̶̲̳̲̑̌̔ ̸̮̓̇G̵̪͖̥̖̯̈͌̐̿Ṝ̷A̴̧̢͂̊̏̾M̵̟̥̹̥̝̖͒ ̴̧̩̯̿̽͑P̶̮̪̿̌̈̽̋̀Á̸͇̭̈́C̸̩̠̀̇͛͠Ẹ̷̪̱͇̼͊R̶̥̦̫͑́̓̅͗̈́ ̶̩͍͍͓̞̔͌̋̎̓̈́T̸̛̬̟͐̀͛̈́̈Ę̴̜̟̜̹̿̿͗S̵̛̩̝̩͗͊͆̄͛ͅͅT̷͚͒ ̴̗͌ͅI̶͖͒̓́̏S̷̤̞̻̟̅̂̄̎ ̴̨̉̾̐̀͛͋Á̸̝̫̋͑͠ ̷̨̘̠̦͕̅M̶̜̬͍̼̗̬͗̏̊̈͝U̸̫̯̩̬͛͝Ĺ̵̜̼̜̦̀̇̆̕͘T̶͔͉͗̈́Ḯ̴͙S̴̯͙̣͓̫̀̈͜Ṯ̷͎̥͓̌͐̎͑Ą̴̳̖̓͆̀̄̀͜G̷̻̯͎͒̑̉̓E̴̗̭̒ ̷̡̺̮͚̞́̽̈́̈́̕A̴̠̝̿͒͂̕ͅĘ̴̠̮͌̐̒R̷̠̼̙̉̒O̸̼͍͗̈́͗̃̃B̵͍͈̪͖͎̔̓̅̇͘͘I̷̝͉̪̍̔C̸̖̘͙̆͗ ̴̣͉̝̳͖͋͜͝Ç̵̨̹͗A̵͉̺̟͇͠ͅP̷̪͕͔̱͙̬̓̄A̶̟͖̯̹͎̒̎C̵͔̮͍͗̂̌͊̿͝Ī̵̤́͊͆̀͊T̷̙͉͖̙͜͝ͅŸ̴̖͈͚̜͓̱́̾ ̷̘͆̂̄͗͝T̶̻̿Ę̷̢̬̔̒S̷͔͙̹̪̉͑̃͌̀Ṭ̵̓̏̅̉-"

Gavin: god I fucking hate that guy, he's such a prick

Coworker: why don't you just stop being friends with him then?

Gavin: FUCK NO! He's already agreed to be my Best Man

*Connor working silently and diligently*

*notices Gavin staring at him from across the bullpen*

"..... what?"

"You're ass is grass and I'm gonna mow it."

"LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Gavin punching in the teeth of xenophobes. Or at the very least cussing them out because no, Gavin, you already have enough write-ups and complaints as it is, you gotta stop it. Yes, i appreciate the intentions, but the means are getting you in trouble.

Old Cop Acquaintance: Last time we hung out you hated androids. You've gotten soft.

Gavin: No, i've gotten hard. Because he's my best friend, he's my pal. My homeboy, my rotten soldier; my sweet cheese, my good time boy

the newer cops in the precinct start spreading a rumor that Gavin and Connor are dating, and when Connor brings it up with Gavin to see if he wants to do anything to dispel the rumors he just says "If you don't have rumors going around that you and your best friend are dating, then you aren't real best friends."

that's basically how Connor realizes that he has a best friend for the first time.

Gavin: Connor, would you ever bail me out of jail?

Connor: Bold of you to assume I'm not in jail with you

Gavin: bro

Connor: Nines would be the one to bail us out of jail.

Gavin: aw fuck, no, come on! Nines would give us the Look of Disappointment

Connor: Better than the Dad of Disapproval

Gavin: fair point

Tactical Training Day is full of chaos because Gavin makes a bet that he'll do better and while Connor doesn't outright agree to it, you can tell he's playing along because he's putting more effort into the simulations than normal.

Gavin: Okay, run it by me one more time. What do you do if i get shot in the field?

Connor: well, I was programmed to immediately get you clear of the line of fire and then provide medical assistance until back-up or an ALS unit arrives.

Gavin: but?

Connor: ...but you've asked me to cry out "MMMMMM WHATCHA SAAYYY!" and then proceed with my protocols.

Gavin: exACTLY

[captainsophiestark]

Galentine's Day

Platonic!Natasha "Phoenix" Trace x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Written for my personal fic writing challenge for 2024, Sophie's Year of Fic! Featuring a new fic being posted every Friday, all year long :)

Fandom: Top Gun

Summary: Natasha and her best friend are about to spend their first ever Galentine's Day apart, since Natasha's in Miramar for training. That is, unless her best friend has something to say about it.

Word Count: 2,683

Category: Fluff, Humor

A/N: Happy early Galentine's Day to everybody who celebrates!

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

"I'm sorry. I tried so many times to get leave, but I just couldn't make it happen. This training's mandatory, and there's no chance I can get away until it's over."

"That's okay," I said, giving my best friend my most convincing understanding-but-sad face. "We were bound to be in different places for Galentine's Day, eventually."

Natasha huffed. "I guess. It just felt like we'd always find a way to make it work, you know?"

"I know. But at least we can say a little Happy Galentine's Day via FaceTime!"

Nat sighed. "Yeah, I guess it's better than nothing. So do you have any plans today? I'm basically going from this call to lectures with brass to flying with a bunch of guys including the Bagman, so... not an ideal Galentines Day."

I grimaced. "That sounds rough. Try not to let them get you down! And, actually, speaking of plans... I'm so sorry, but I have to go. I promised to help a friend move, since we couldn't go do any of our usual celebration today, and they're expecting me in like ten minutes."

"Oh. Oh, yeah, that's okay. I should actually probably get prepared for the start of our training for the day, but... have an amazing day, alright? You're the best."

"Noyou."

We shared a smile that quickly faded. She clearly didn't want to say goodbye, and I'd ruin the surprise if I looked like I was in a rush to get off the phone.

"Well... I'll talk to you later?" I said, trying to sound hesitant. Nat took a deep breath and smiled.

"Yeah. Text me when you're free and we'll figure it out."

I nodded, gave her a little wave, then hung up the call. I grinned. That had gone perfectly. I was confident she had no idea I was outside the Hard Deck, right now. She was going to be so surprised.

My childhood best friend, Natasha Trace, and I had a long-standing tradition of celebrating Galentine's Day together to celebrate our friendship, get together no matter where in the world we were, and do whatever the hell we wanted as long as it was together. This was the first year where we wouldn't be able to do that—at least, as far as Natasha knew.

In reality, I'd found a way to cancel my schedule conflicts and buy a flight to San Diego to surprise her. I'd managed to get in touch with Rooster, one of her closer aviator friends, to get her schedule, and after keeping the secret for a month and a half I was finally going to tell her. She would be so excited.

I took a deep breath, then crossed the remaining parking lot space to get to the Hard Deck. I pushed open the door and stepped in to find more than a few Navy pilots hanging around, which tracked with just about everything Nat had ever told me about this place. It didn't take me long to find my friend, thankfully, as she was heading for me and the door with Rooster trailing behind her.

"Phoenix, don't you want to play another round of pool? We can't let Hangman win!" he protested, clearly trying to stall her. I smiled to myself and headed in their direction.

"No, I don't, Rooster," she said. "I've got some things to take care of, I'll see you at training, alright?"

Rooster looked ready to keep arguing, but then he looked up and caught sight of me. He stopped in his tracks and smiled at me, and I gave him a little nod before turning my attention to Nat.

"I hope you can ditch those things you've gotta take care of for your best friend," I said, an absolutely shit-eating grin spreading across my own face. Nat's head snapped up at the sound of my voice, and her jaw dropped when she saw me standing just a few feet from her.

"You- You're supposed to be- But- Dude!"

She rushed forward, absolutely beaming, and wrapped me in a bone crushing hug. I laughed and hugged her right back, just as tight.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, incredulous laughter dripping from her words.

"Surprising you! Obviously!" We smiled at each other as we finally pulled apart, Natasha still shaking her head like she couldn't believe I was here. "When you said you couldn't get leave, I started problem solving to find a way to get time off work. It wasn't easy and I didn't want to get your hopes up, so I didn't tell you. Then once I got approved, I thought it would be more fun if I could surprise you! So I got Rooster to tell me your schedule and then I got on a plane!"

Nat whirled around to look at Rooster, who just grinned back at her, then turned back to me.

"That's sneaky as hell, but also incredible. Oh my god, I'm so glad you're here."

"Me too," I said, grinning as I closed the distance to wrap her in a one-armed hug. "And I have everything planned for tonight, the minute you're free of Navy stuff. We're gonna do Galentine's Day right. But I didn't plan anything for this morning, so... what do you want to do?"

She shot me a look that I knew meant trouble.

"How about beating all the other Navy pilots at pool?"

"Sounds perfect."

We ended up at the pool table in the back of the bar for the better part of an hour, before the pilots had to leave for training. Nat and I had gotten good at pool in high school, since it was fun to absolutely run the table together at parties, and we wiped the floor with the other pilots in every round we played. By the time they headed off to training, Nat had at least one game each to hold over their heads until the next time they played.

Since Nat couldn't get leave, she still had to spend most of the day doing Navy stuff. Luckily for me, we were in San Diego. It was an absolutely beautiful day, so I killed time waiting for Nat by walking along the beach and relaxing in the sand. I finally left for my hotel room with a little over an hour to spare before she would be free from training.

We met up right outside the base at Miramar, after Nat had changed out of her uniform and flight suit. She grinned as she walked out to meet me at my car, and I grinned right back.

"So where are we going?" she called. I just smiled.

"Get in the car and find out!"

She shook her head, but she didn't protest, and within a few minutes we were on our way. I had our favorite playlist, one we made our senior year of high school, playing over the speakers, and it felt for a second like we'd never left our hometown, driving around in the evening together getting up to mischief.

"So, how was training?" I asked. She hummed.

"It was fine. We're learning a lot, actually, which I really didn't expect. We're all already the best of the best. Bagman's being obnoxious as always, which is the main downside."

"You like Bob though, right? Your new WSO?"

"Yeah, he's great. He's become a pretty good friend, too, which makes some of the other idiots easier to deal with."

"Thank God for that."

"No kidding."

We rode in comfortable silence for a little further, until Nat finally clocked our destination not far ahead of us.

"No. No, no way, we are not going there."

"Yes we are! Come on, it'll be fun!"

"I am not doing karaoke."

"You've done it before! You even have a good voice! What's the problem?"

"Because it's Galentine's Day, and I can pretty much guarantee you that at least half of the guys in my training group are in there or will be soon."

I shot her a look as I pulled into a parking space.

"You think a bunch of Navy pilots with giant egos are going to be at karaoke on a Tuesday night?"

"Yes. In fact, I know they are."

I snorted. "Well then they're ridiculous and have no leg to stand on judging us. We'll just ignore them, have a blast, and then move on to the Galentine's Day finale when we're ready."

Nat sighed and shook her head, but she unbuckled her seatbelt and opened the car door anyway.

"Fine. Just be prepared to get heckled on a level our high school classmates could only dream of."

"Oh, I feel confident we can give back just as good of heckling as we get."

The corner of her mouth quirked up at the idea, and we headed inside. I'd booked us a table, and we could order dinner and drinks here to go with the singing, which made it absolutely perfect. We just had time to place our orders, put our names in the karaoke queue, and settle in before a loud group of aviators came stumbling over each other and through the front door.

I turned to Nat with my mouth open, shaking my head in disbelief.

"I can't believe you were right. Do they seriously have nothing better to do tonight?"

She just raised an eyebrow and gave me a look, and I sighed. This didn't really change anything, luckily for us. So we'd have a little bit of an audience that Nat knew. We'd done karaoke in front of our entire high school before, and this definitely wouldn't be more nerve-wracking than that.

The other aviators didn't notice us right away, giving Nat and I time to chat and catch up and swap stories from our lives in peace. Our drinks arrived, and not too long after, we were up for our first duet of the night. We shared a smile and did the handshake we'd come up with in middle school, then headed up to the stage.

A few of the aviators whooped when they saw us, and I saw Nat trying to hide a smile. Like pool, we were good at this, and if there was one thing I knew about my best friend, it was that she loved showing off, especially when she could flex on the guys.

The music started and Nat and I fell into our familiar, ridiculous routine, dancing and singing our hearts out to a performance we'd had down for the better part of a decade. The audience faded away a little as my best friend and I hammed it up, enjoying the opportunity to be silly with each other again. By the time we finished, the crowd was cheering for us, and I could tell from the looks on the faces of the other Top Gunners that they were well and truly impressed. As they should've been.

We spent the rest of the night laughing, drinking, and occasionally singing. Some of Nat's friends wandered over to talk or try to join us, but we chased them all off after a few minutes. They seemed nice enough, but the whole point of Galentine's Day was to spend it with my best friend, with no distractions (especially from men). The one and only exception for the entire night was Rooster, who convinced us to join him for a three-person song on stage. His energy matched ours enough that we said yes, and we had the whole place rocking and cheering and singing by the time our song was over.

"That was great! Phoenix, I didn't know you were so good at karaoke!" Rooster called over the noise of the bar as we headed off the stage. It was getting late, but the energy of the bar just seemed to be ratcheting up more and more, no one showing signs of tiring.

"There's a lot you don't know about me, Rooster," she said, shooting him a grin. He laughed, then turned to me.

"You should be here all the time. Do you know what I'd give to regularly see Hangman lose at pool?"

I laughed. "Nat can take him any day of the week, with or without me!"

"Yeah, but he knows that. Watching you clean his clock was even better than usual."

"Well maybe next time I need your help planning a surprise visit, it'll be to surprise Hangman with absolute destruction in a bunch of competitions."

"All you have to do is say the word, and you can count me in to help."

The three of us shared a smile, and then Rooster gestured back towards the small karaoke stage.

"Should I put us in for another song?"

Natasha and I shook our heads at the same time, which got an eyebrow raise out of Rooster.

"Sorry, but it's Galentine's Day," I said.

"Which means we're not hanging out with any of the male population of my program. You got one exception, Roos, but that's it."

"It was nice to meet you in person, though! And thanks again for the help surprising Nat!"

Rooster just stared at us like he wasn't quite sure whether we were serious. We didn't give him a chance to formulate a question before turning around, arm in arm, and heading back to our table. I heard him bark out a laugh as we went, but neither of us turned around.

"So what's the plan?" asked Nat as she slid back into her seat. "Do we need to come up with our next song, or do you have something else on our itinerary?"

"Something else! So finish your drink, because we're out of here."

She raised an eyebrow at me, but didn't ask any questions as she did as I said. She knew me well enough to know she'd never get the details of a surprise out of me, if I didn't want to give them.

A few moments later, we paid and headed out of the bar. We didn't give the other aviators a backwards glance before stepping out into the cool night air of San Diego. I smiled, taking in a deep breath and linking my arm with Nat's again.

"So where are we going?" she asked after doing the same.

"Don't you worry. Just follow me."

She shook her head, but she was grinning nonetheless as we began our short walk. Less than five minute later, we found ourselves at the edge of the beach, looking out at the night sky reflected against the dark water. I dropped my arm from Nat's to pull off my shoes, then stepped out into the sand.

"The beach feels like a good end to the holiday to me. What do you think?" I asked, turning back to look at Nat with a smile. She grinned, quickly ditching her own shoes to join me.

"I think you're right."

The two of us walked along the surf for a little while, before finding a spot we liked to sit down in the sand, shoulder to shoulder, looking out at the water while the waves gently lapped up on shore. I sighed, leaning back on my hands and staring up at the stars.

"I miss living near you," I mused. She sighed, dropping back onto her elbows, almost fully laid out on the sand.

"I miss living near you, too. But just think. When I eventually retire from the Navy, we can get houses next to each other and be ridiculous, chaos-causing women heading into our late middle age and still act like dumb twenty year-olds together."

I snorted. "Alright yeah, I'm definitely looking forward to that."

Natasha sighed, and we sat there in comfortable silence for a while, staring at the beautiful night before us. After a moment, I dropped my head onto her shoulder. We sat like that for a long time, just enjoying being in the same place again, at least for a little while.

I didn't want to leave in a few days; I wanted longer here, more time spent with my best friend in the world. But I knew, no matter how far apart we moved or how long we went without talking sometimes, she would always be there for me, and I would always be there for her. And no boyfriend, governmental agency, or other job or circumstance would ever come in the way of that.

We were forever-Galentines.

****************

Everything Taglist: @rosecentury @kmc1989

Top Gun Taglist: @elenavampire21

[eonars]

BORINGGGGG ⬇️🚫😴🤓

Moved into my actual long term place in the city today (have been living in my department head's basement apartment thing until my contract starts and that was way out in the countryside where the university is) right now it's 10:15pm and I'm all tucked up in the brand new fresh bedding I bought today for my dinky little twin bed because this is a one room studio. Which is worth honestly bc I'm paying only approx $1k a month for it and it's smack DEEP in the city center, walking distance from the train station and surrounded by all kinds of super exciting stuff. Tomorrow I need to unpack properly and go through the box of kitchen stuff the landlord gave me and decide what I want + do a big shop of establishing kitchen essentials + possibly another less big shop of homewares and storage/organization stuff perhaps. I've also been struck with the realization that tomorrow is Saturday night and I'm in the big city and can just.....go out if I want to and easily walk back here whenever I want. I gotta go into the office on Monday even though there's nothing to do because I need to retrieve my work laptop (left it there so there'd be one less thing to move) and I figure since I'm there I can also practice the presentation I have to give at this summer school program. The summer school program that I have to leave for on Tuesday because why would I get to just chill and settle in to the new place for more than 4 days you know. But that's where the real hard work is gonna start because they're gonna have us in lectures and practical sessions on cryopreservation and laser microscopy from the getgo which is giving me the major fear cause from here on out it's Real. Like I get back from this week long program and immediately it's time for my husbandry sessions and learning to do ivf on fish and a microdissection session and signing up for the ethics in animal experimentation course and I'm getting a weird fear that for whatever reason I'll just full stop be too stupid to determine cryodamage via laser microscopy and they'll be like actually you're done just go back. Which is stupid I'm aware because obviously they know full well I'm not an expert on this stuff and I've never even done it before and accepted me anyway but still. It just feels really surreal cause I suddenly got every single thing I've ever wished for in the space of like two months and I haven't been able to shake the feeling that somethings gonna go wrong and it's all gonna disappear and I'm gonna end up back home again. Or like I'm scared it's gonna be too hard and I won't be able to do it cause they overestimated me and I have the least lab and research experience out of all these other candidates because again I'm just a minimum wage waster from california they brought in vs veterinarians and research scientists. Like if doing ivf on a zebrafish was so easy surely everyone would be doing it. I've also had an unshakeable migraine for like 3 days now and I think even though I've been doing so well at a solid 11:30 to 7am sleep sched for these last few weeks I'm gonna let myself sleep in tomorrow morning before I rise and grind and unpack. And then maybe dress up and go sip a vodka soda in a metal bar alone looking like a spooked antelope.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Hey, saw your post about writing a novel.

As someone who wants to write novels, but currently can't due to lacking skill level, I'm trying to write short stories.

Any advice you could please give?

Well. You don’t need to be more skilled to write a novel. And you can learn to write a novel as you go. Short stories aren’t like a stepping stone into becoming a novelist. They’re an art form all in their own. If you’re seeing short stories as a training ground for writing novels, I’d suggest you just skip to writing the novel instead.

So if you actually want advice on writing short stories, honestly read a lot of short stories. People like Amy Hempel and George Saunders are examples of famous short story writers right now but there’s a lot more than the famous people. Pick up a lit magazine or buy a new short story collection from some indie publishers. There’s a vibrant short story scene alive right now in both literary and genre fiction.

And if you want to know what qualifies as a short story, it’s roughly a story you could comfortably read in one sitting. Probably less than 30 pages.

And after you’ve got your reading and definitions sorted, well, you just do it. Writing is one of those skills that has an exception to every rule so you mostly learn by doing. You’ve gotta suck a lot before you’re good.

Idk if I’m a great writer but I’m apparently at least good enough to be accepted into an mfa program. And I toss stuff all the time. Even after all my years of practice sometimes the writing flows and sometimes I write three words of garbage, scrap the Google doc, and go eat a sandwich.

Read shitty first drafts and then go figure out how you do the writing thing. Not how anybody else does it.

[unknown-lifeform]

Ok but like. I've been thinking of technology in ff7 and parallels between the ff7 timeline and ours and honestly the differences just. They make sense. More than this first paragraph does for sure at least

So. Let's try to assume that the year 0000 in ff7 corresponds to our 2000. So the 90's in ff7 correspond to our 90's, the 80's to our 80's, and so on. Obviously there are some massive differences in technological advancement, especially with Remake/Rebirth giving people smartphones as opposed to the flip phones of the earlier games. If we go with the Remake/Rebirth version, that's more advanced than our early 2000's. Robotics and AI are obviously ages ahead in ff7 compared to us. Possibly bioengineering too, but that can be explained by ff7 having mako and monsters and Jenova when we obviously don't.

But when you think about it, it makes sense. It's about war. Shinra has been actively at war for decades before canon (Wutai in the 90's, and before that the Junon Republic). And it's also fundamentally a technological juggernaut with endless money to throw at research. Robotics and AI being advanced? Shinra uses mechas as weapons, sometimes Wutai never seems to have done. Of course that sector is way more developed, Shinra had an interest in making better, smarter weapons. Smartphones? Obviously developing communication technology is important if you want to take over the world. And once the war is over, Shinra can charmingly recycle their discoveries in things people will like

We can consider instead what the ff7 world doesn't have. There are no high speed trains, or long distance trains at all. Shinra doesn't have a use for it. Wutai was an island so trains wouldn't get Shinra there. Rebirth tells us the Republic of Junon had plenty of roads, but Shinra let them fall apart after taking over, because no use for roads when you can fly your operatives around, and everyone else can suck it up. Why would they even think about things like trains? There are also no power plants outside of mako reactors, obviously, and the only traces that energy sources other than mako were ever used are Corel's abandoned coal mines and as for Rebirth some abandoned Junon era windmills. Oh, and the abandoned oil fields On the Way to a Smile mentions. None are exactly the latest technology when it comes to energy production. Because Shinra would have to be insane to invest a single cent in any kind of energy research that isn't mako

And of course, space technology. In our world, Yuri Gagarin was in space in 1961, and we had people on the moon before the end of the 60's. And why was that? Because of the space race, because we had the Cold War, and sending someone into space was an amazing way to show off your country was the best country, and so both the US and the USSR funneled money into space research. In ff7? There was no Cold War. No rush to develop space technology by the 60's. Maybe the Republic of Junon or whoever would have worked it out at a slower pace, but then Shinra started its very much not cold wars, and there was no reason to invest into a space program then. Not when money and resources could make weapons, instead of rockets. Only after the end of the Wutai War was Cid sent to go into space - as a publicity stunt from Shinra, of course. And when his launch failed (for safety issues, may I add), Shinra didn't bother to make another. No point in it. No need to show how great your technology is when no one else on the Planet is making technology

I mean I'm sure Shinra has satellites because they gotta make those smartphones work somehow. But as of the early 2000's, no one was into space. Shinra's space program is scrapped, and has Palmer of all people in charge. It seems the only people who actually care to study the universe are the planetologists in Cosmo Canyon. So is astrophysics just considered some useless hippy science in the ff7 world? You can't squeeze mako out of space, so let's just not bother with it ever?

I'm just having a massive moment about technological advancement and scientific research being subservient to whatever the latest global imperialist superpower and what its practical wants and needs are. And also how in ff7 the only scientists we see are either on the Shinra payroll, all on varying levels of unethical experimentation, or in Cosmo Canyon, which I don't think gets a lot of research grants on average, or the engineers left jobless around in Rocket Town after the failed lunch. Want a career in science, either get consumed by the evil megacorporation and lose whatever morals you might have had, or get fucked

[stitching-in-time]

Voyager rewatch s4 ep5: Revulsion

This one is quite the hodge-podge of totally disjointed stories. There's a horror story about a murdery hologram, an awkward comedy about Harry getting a crush on Seven, and little subplots about the Doctor wanting to go on more away missions, Tom having to fill in in sickbay, and Tom and B'Elanna deciding to get serious with their relationship. It's a lot, and tonally, none of them really fit together well.

From the first shot of the teaser, which is of a dead body being dragged across a ship by a hologram who's clearly just murdered the guy, it doesn't set a good tone. While it takes our crew the rest of the episode to figure out that the hologram who supposedly lost his crew to disease and requests their help is actually a psycho who murdered them all, the audience knows it from the beginning, which makes the whole episode feel slow, and makes the characters look kinda stupid for not being able to see it right away too. Especially since the actor who plays the hologram is so creepy and unpleasant to watch, and all the scenes on his ship are shot like a horror movie, with him looming ominously behind people in the shadows, while ominous music plays, it just feels way too obvious and heavy handed. (And I never like to see my girl B'Elanna getting put through crap- everyone needs to leave her alone, she puts up with so much!!) Knowing the whole episode that this creepy hologram is going to try to kill her at some point just feels so schlocky exploitation film-ish, it's not fun or interesting to watch in any capacity. I also don't buy that a hologram that's meant to do menial ship maintenance would have a sophistocated enough program that it could pass through some matter, and not others, at the same time, at will. That was just too convenient to be realistic given what we've already established about holographic technology. But luckily B'Elanna is such a badass that even with her injuries, she still managed to destruct his program like a boss. Queen shit, as always. I love her so much!!

And then there's poor Harry, who gets basically a teenage crush storyline over Seven of Nine. It's supposed to be funny, but mostly it's just a heap of secondhand embarrassment. Idk why they have Harry acting like a dumb kid whenever they try to give him a romantic subplot now- he's in his mid-twenties, he's not a kid, and he used to have a hot girlfriend back home, who he used to go to concerts with in his slutty mesh top, which nobody who was shy and awkward would ever wear. He couldn't be that clueless and inept about dating. (Also, I guess he finally gave up on Libby for good at this point! Sorry girl, you're no match for the hottest lady of all- the USS Voyager!) The worst part is that Harry and Seven are actually kind of cute together, and it would have been nice to see them form a normal friendship, but that possibilty was stifled by giving him the stupid crush plot. Tom at least tries to talk him out of going for a romance with someone who's only been human for basically a few weeks, but Harry doesn't listen, and it just gets more awkward. Ugh. why.

Why on earth they expect us to believe that Tom is the most qualified person to fill in as a medic, I have no idea- there's gotta be some science officer who has more medical training than a pilot, but at least they were giving one of the regular characters more screentime, I guess. And I do love to see Tom taking care of people, it's a nice counter to the weird mean version of him from Day of Honor that I still need brain bleach to recover from. (Why would they do that to my sunshine boy??)

One of my favorite scenes in the episode is Tuvok's absolutely lovely and sweet banquet celebrating his promotion. I love when the crew have sit down meals together, it's always the most heartwarming, adorable stuff. Tom and Harry telling a story about a time they pranked him, Janeway presenting him with his pip, and Tuvok's thank you speech are just so perfectly lovely. Everyone is so happy and having so much fun, including Tuvok, and I love to see it. Whenever I see gifs or screenshots of this scene, it's always of Tuvok saying 'in three years I've grown to respect many of you, others, I've learned to tolerate' like he's being bitchy or throwing shade, but in context, he's actually being affectionate- there's a lightness in his voice and a twinkle in his eye, and Tom and Harry smile at him when he says it. This is Tuvok being happy, and expressing his love for his crewmates with his dry Vulcan humor. It's so good!!! Tim Russ does so much with so little- he always manages to convey the full range of Tuvok's thoughts and feelings in the extremely narrow confines of acceptable Vulcan behavior. With the subtlest of intonations and expressions, he shows us his whole personality and his whole heart, it's really exceptional acting. Tuvok has been and will always be my favorite Vulcan character in Star Trek.

Tom and B'Elanna get a small scene at the end of the banquet, where we finally get to see them talk about what happened in Day of Honor. Once again, Tom is the one to break the silence after three days and say they have to talk about it- they give each other a chance to wriggle out of the whole 'I love you' thing, but B'Elanna admits that she really did mean what she said. Tom responds by kissing her, which is adorable, but still missing the crucial words- all they had to do was tack an 'I love you too' on the end of that 'shut up and kiss me'- would that have been so hard??? Tom is always the one who wants to actually talk about stuff, he would not be reluctant to say it! Certainly not more than she was! What gives??? Idk, but they agree to meet up in her quarters at the end of the episode, so I guess we just get to infer that they talked about it later. (But judging from their earlier kiss, they probably just made out the whole time and never came up for air lol)

Tl;dr: The main plots in this one were both pretty poorly executed, but the little character moments sprinkled in were wonderful and made it worth watching.

[crimsonblackrose]

.

And with that they stopped putting the girl's hair up. Both Sam and Tory have their hair down for their practice/training. Sam on the beach a la her dad and Tory in the Cobra Kai dojo.

Robby and Sam are leading lessons at the Miyagi dojo the way Alisha and Miguel used to. Ah, at least Sam's hairs up here. But Robby, come on man, you need a hair band at least.

I don't fully get why Daniel can't have Robby and Sam teach...earlier. Like that probably would've helped more with balancing things. At least he's doing it now.

The not putting our hair up kata beach date.

lol omg is Tory at Johnny and Miguel's apartment? Tory, do not practice fighting on cement. This is dumb. Miguel you should know better. Also, this case, not Johnny's problem because they're not working with him this time.

Tory using the same pinning techniques or trying to that Carmen did in Johnny's dream. Really this apartment complex is not where they should be sparring, even if it's flirty.

Tory's voice over was something she told Miguel, 'everyone's got a sob story it doesn't give you the right to be a bully' from Sam though isn't a line I recognize from earlier.

Also, Sam I think I gotta take 'bully' away from you and put it on a shelf. Like you accused Tory of stealing your mothers wallet, which she didn't do, and then put your hands on her. That wasn't her bullying you. Her knocking you down at the roller rink, might count. But then you hit her right back, so I don't think she's really bullying you. I think you two are just straight up fighting. And she's not really bullying anyone else, she's kicking other students, but that was under Kreese's orders and Johnny's trying to reign that in. I think you can't consider Tory a bully, but a rival. Like girl congrats on your first rival but again, nuance.

Sam, why are you watching/potentially following Tory?

Oh good they both put their hair up.

Oh hey Sam's going for telling her parents. Kudos. Finally. Her and secret boyfriends never work out well.

Shannon is finally home. She's dressed a little bit like Johnny, plaid and jeans.

She apologizes and says Cabo was a mistake. You think? You abandoned him, lost your apartment, and probably all of your stuff. Made him homeless.

He seems unsurprised she's leaving again. His body language though completely changes when she says she's going to rehab.

Johnny has a drinking problem, Shannon has a drinking and pill problem. (Which explains why she only came home before Cabo to collect all her pills)

Amanda and Daniel offered to let Robby stay with them until she's done with the program, and then she lightly says Robby can stay with his father. Who, reminder, doesn't know that Daniel took Robby in because Shannon was out of town and they couldn't reach her and then refused to tell Johnny what was up. Johnny probably assumed that Shannon had left Robby with them rather than him based off the last time he offered to take care of Robby he got rejected by both Shannon and Robby.

Shannon darling, he needed that a long time ago. Because now he has you and everything you've said as well as everything Daniel's been saying. Everyone in his life is anti-Johnny. Except Amanda, but I highly doubt Daniel told Amanda that he didn't actually tell Johnny what was going on which led to Johnny going into mama bear/papa bear mode and punching Anoush in the side/stomach. Which if anyone else had done that, it'd have been understandable, panicked can't find your kid? But no, because Johnny is Johnny it was just marked off as Johnny going wild and attacking people and being who they always assumed him to be, not where the hell is my son and how dare you kidnap him tell me where he is.

He cares about you and wants you in his life. 100% true, but because everyone has been against his father and saying how awful he is, Robby seems surprised to hear that and it looks really hard for Shannon to admit that.

I love Rosa and her "in that outfit I'd say you're saying hot for teacher"

I also do love Carmen being tentative about it. Their date is a lot of things. Like it's her son's karate instructor, it's also a guy who is a mess and she knows that, with a lot of baggage, and who her son lied about hanging out with and who sometimes she doesn't like how her sons turning out after being around him. Johnny's a hot mess.

Look at Johnny wearing a button up and jeans like Miguel taught him.

Carmen, Johnny can't ghost you btw, he lives nearby (two doors down) and teaches your son. 😂That's gotta be one bonus at least.

Rosa: Have fun, don't knock her up. (If only he'd listened to your advice Rosa)

Moon knows Tory, from hanging out with her and Aisha and the rest of the cobras so it's interesting that she doesn't try and contextualize or peace middle ground balance the whole thing. She does for 'at least you both moved on' but Sam seems unhappy about that, which like so teen soap.

Moon's terrible karate party. I forgot it was in season 2.

LaRusso date night, dinner and dancing (omg I forgot that coincided with Johnny's first date with Carmen, dude I'm so sorry, he didn't even get one date with her without it turning into an awkward double date, though it has been a while since Daniel and Johnny ran into one another, but I'm getting ahead of myself)

Amanda: Have fun, make good choices, I know I don't have to worry about you.

Sad that that doesn't hold up. I mean she lied about the party, she omitted she was in a car accident, she's been in multiple fights with Tory that I don't think Amanda knows about based of the hubbub of how much of a deal she made out of Robby, Demetri and her fight at the mall. She doesn't know that Sam was being bullied after breaking up with Kyler, let alone what all Kyler tried to pull. She does I think know that Miguel hit her, but didn't seem mad that she used Robby as an excuse to break out from being grounded. She's had two secret boyfriends since Kyler. Amanda is a mom who gives a whole lot of breaks even though this is a very rough patch Sam is in.

Johnny: when your a teen it's hard to avoid a little drama...only to run face first into his own drama. 😂I love that Amanda hears Daniel's complaint first, then sees Johnny and turns her attention to Carmen and they compliment each other. Best friends forever straight from the start.

Daniel: Will this be okay? Johnny checking with Carmen if it'll be okay before saying it will be and then Amanda just being blunt: They have warring karate dojos. 😂

Amanda knows she's in for a night and orders a Cadillac margarita, big glass.

It's interesting that they're even eating in the same spot since they live in different neighborhoods.

I love that Demetri brought a board game: Trivial pursuit, he would've brought balderdash had he been properly informed on the attendance level.

I guess it's summer. I was going to say the way these kids are eyeing each other it's like they haven't seen each other since what five of them defected to Miyagi-do? But nope, it's still summer vacation despite all the plaid and fall clothing.

Moon's party includes kegs and vegan pigs in a blanket.

Yes Miyagi-do and Cobra Kai don't get along but honestly kinda surprised that she didn't also invite Kyler who also doesn't get along with...any of them.

Moon trying to avoid fighting on the first day of school, if only she'd succeeded

Daniel ordered a Don Julio 70 extra chilled (which I'm realizing is his signature, the ice ice cold thing) which is a type of tequila

Carmen got a michelada (beer drink with hot sauce and lime)

And Johnny got his usual coors

Daniel judging Johnny's drink. And it's not like he's not judging, Amanda even gives him a look.

oh right, the pissing contest started. Poor Carmen, this is their first date. Johnny play it cooler than this you dumbass. Carmen: Wow that's great, so proud of you. Totally catching that he's doing this and being a good sport, but goodness. Neither Carmen nor Amanda should have to sit through Daniel and Johnny's bickering adjacently.

Meanwhile I love Amanda going, ah so this is happening. Her directness is just, refreshing. She's also gotta be so tired of it all. Carmen's at least outskirts of it, while Amanda is like living it because Daniel flipped her world upside down all of a sudden.

Lol Johnny immediately gives up pretense to talk directly to Daniel. So much for separate dates. Congratulations Carmen on your first date with Johnny, you didn't realize it'd be a double date with Daniel and Amanda.

Daniel is legit being rude. Carmen said she's Miguel's mom and she's sorry to hear they broke up and Amanda is polite but Daniel is sarcastic. I don't know if it's because of Miguel or Johnny but literally everyone in his orbit is like tainted to him, which is unfair.

Amanda saying she was with a different boy every week truly delighting Johnny while Daniel takes instant offense even though it was before they got together. For a guy who had a different love interest in every movie, he sure is judgy on that type of thing.

Carmen lets push the tables together, the guys: NOoooooo Amanda: YESSSS

The girls are going to have a great night whether you guys are awful or not, which if you just calm down you'll realize you actually like each other.

The Cobra Kai inviting Nate to dance, after being great at dancing and then everyone cheering Nate on. They totally had a chance to all get along.

Oh I forgot Stingray brought a woman to the teen's back to school party. 💀

I missed that Tory has been drinking for a while before Sam challenges her. Miguel says "still" champion, which means there was another guy before this. And really so far everyone's chill.

Miguel literally stands through their interaction with his eyes closed looking so done with Tory and Sam's antics.

Tory called Sam a princess again.

Robby trying to be a voice of reason. Sorry Robby she's got her dad's mongoose brain.

The restaurant they're eating at is called Don Corazon's

Carmen is an x-ray technician.

Ah yes the leg challenge.

Carmen ordered: tostadas de pulpo (the name of the ep) asado with no sour cream.

Johnny making sure she got the no sour cream.

Amanda orders: Chili relleno with camaron instead of carnitas and extra cilantro and no corn.

And she still doesn't want to write that down.

Daniel orders the same thing Amanda does but with the corn.

Johnny orders pollo tacos and asks for a hard shell (not an option he was given) and no green stuff. And Daniel starts up again but Amanda tells him to stop it.

Johnny: Please don't leave me. Amanda: Oh I'll go to the powder room too. Daniel: Nooo please don't leave me. 😂 Boys be adults huh?

Tory finishes her drink first and Sam's already wobbling but stubborn (like her dad) and finishes her drink.

Stingray's girlfriend cheers for Sam.

[inherstars]

Gears of War | Unknown Issue (4 of 5)

Gotta leave for lunch soon, but here's a bit more. Both of these people just need a fucking hug. Previous section here.

Scylla’s throat tightened with a logjam of questions, a breath she couldn’t let out, but she held it all in check.  Marcus wouldn’t look at her, continuing to turn the scrapbook pages, but he got out at least one word, choked around the stricture of emotion.

“...Eat.”

She dug into the sandwich again, needing something to do besides sit there and gawp at him.  It took a long time for him to speak again, sorting slowly through the snippets and snapshots and sketches of her life.

“Where have you been all this time?,” he growled.  “Why did you wait this long?”

“I was at New Hope,” she got out between bites.  “I was their ward until I turned eighteen.  Six months ago I bought a train ticket out here.  I’d spent a year trying to track down if you were still alive and, if you were, where I might find you.  And that information wasn’t easy to come by, let me tell you.”

A grunt. “That’s by design.”

“...anyway.  With the money I had left after the ticket, I bought that bike.  Rented a room in a boarding house.  Now I work in a cafe in town.  Sometimes I pick up shifts at the thrift shop, they give me a discount on clothes and stuff.”

Just for a second the blue of his eyes caught the light as he looked at her.

“That bike’s gotta go.”

She sat up, unexpectedly offended.

“I like my bike.”

“You’re not riding that thing uphill when winter gets here.”  

Scylla’s head was spinning. When had this even become a debate?  And the only uphill from town was here.

Marcus reminded her, “You didn’t answer my question.”

But the answer wasn’t that easy to articulate.  She took a break to eat more of her sandwich, though her internal alarms were starting to sound about the amount of room she had left inside.

“It’s a complicated answer.”  She adjusted her fingers on the soft cushion of bread, trying to piece the explanation out in a way he’d understand.  “When Anya… when she signed into the program at the clinic, there was language in the paperwork about what would happen to the baby’s remains if it didn’t survive, or was stillborn.  For research, I guess.  I’m about as familiar with legal jargon as I am medical, but technically I was stillborn.  Until I wasn’t.  In the absence of a mother, and further instructions, I became their property.”  She shrugged, but limply.  “So… pretty recently, that was just how I was raised.  As a ward of the facility.  Lots of genetic testing, bloodwork, studies.” He stopped turning pages and looked at her, squarely this time.

“No foster parents?”

“No fixed ones, no.  I had a private room. A tutor.  Sometimes, somebody or another took me home for an extended holiday, if they didn’t have staff to mind me at the facility. But no one I got attached to.”  More quietly she admitted, “...no one that got attached to me.”

He leaned forward, frustration rising in his voice.

“Why the fuck didn’t you come find me before now?”

Scylla started to answer and stopped.  Her mouth shut quickly, and she looked tightly away, sitting back in her chair.  The curve of her jaw hardened as she clenched it, trying not to cry.

Fuck, he was bad at this.  He’d always been bad at this.  If ever he’d had the capacity to be soft, life had strip-mined it from him long ago.

With a growling sigh his attention returned to the scrapbook, flipping another page aggressively.

More photographs.  These were different, however: perfect squares on matte white cardstock, clinical in execution and presentation.  There were twelve altogether, arranged across a two-page spread, two by three.  At first he mistook them for mugshots, the central figure in each one posed to stand in front of a white wall with black lines demarcating height by feet and inches.

It was Scylla in the pictures, he realized.  From age one through twelve, one snapshot for each year.  Year one required the assistance of two hands from off-frame holding her upright, her eyes owlish, expression confused.  Age two through five almost looked like normal school photos, if not for the height chart.  She stood on her own, dressed in a plain white undershirt and leggings, smiling in that exaggerated, gap-toothed way of all small children who don’t really understand why they’re being made to look in a camera.  She held a stuffed toy in one of them.

Six years old, and the smile was gone.  The eyes she gave the photographer were wary, as if she’d just been scolded.

Seven, eight, nine.  There was no life left in this child. No light in her eyes.  She couldn’t be scolded or bribed to look at the camera.

Ten, eleven.  She was so thin.  Listless.  A hand had to be reintroduced to the photo to push her upright to the correct height.

Something changed when she was twelve.  There was life in her again, but it wasn’t joyful.  They were his eyes burning out of her face, under dark brows, with a rage he finally, instantly, unquestioningly recognized.  Her fists were clenched at her sides, little fingernails cutting into her palms, shoulders rolled angrily forward.

That’s my daughter, he thought.  He’d never been more certain of anything in his life.

Marcus closed the book quietly.

“...what did they do to you when you were twelve years old?”

But the girl in front of him was a reflection of her eleven year old self: thin, listless, slightly slouched, as if she needed a hand to push her upright.  Her eyes found him only tiredly, with an ache he felt in his gut.

“When I was little, I asked them who my father was, and if I could meet him.  I asked for years.  When I was around… seven, I guess?  They told me it was you, but… they said you’d signed away rights to me when I was born.  That you weren’t interested, when you found out it was a girl.  And because I’d killed your wife.”

She sat up straighter, smoothing her hands outward along the table’s edge.  “When I was twelve I finally realized that was probably a lie.  That a lot of what they’d told me might have been a lie.  That you might not even know I existed at all.”

Her eyes sheened, and she was back to twelve.  Welled up with rage, though not at him.“...look,” she whispered.  “I know this is not what you were expecting, and it may not be what you want, and it’s… it’s okay if you want to turn me away and never see me again.  I spent years steeling myself for that, but I need to know. I just need to know how much of that is true.  If you knew about me… if you didn’t want me.  And if not, why.”  Scylla shook her head at him, staring down the wide shock of his eyes, unwilling to be cowed by his emotion or her own.  “We don’t have to fight about it.  But I need to know.”

Continued here.

[theteasetwrites]

Everything I know/have heard about the new Daryl spin-off and how I feel about it.

A list to organize my thoughts.

Melissa McBride aka Carol is not in it // I couldn't care less in fact I'm happy because Carol is one of my least favorite characters in the original show 😘✌🏻

It takes place in France // wtf does Daryl even know what France is

Apparently Daryl wakes up in Paris and has no idea how he got there?? // um ok so Daryl got kidnapped AGAIN basically. Cool that's great still don't understand how he can be knocked out the entire like boat ride to France or however tf he got there

No mentions of Dog // where the fuck is Dog 🔫

Something about a sexy night club??? // ok why would you open a night club in the middle of the apocalypse that just sounds irresponsible and stupid also literally the last thing I wanna see is middle aged Daryl hanging out in a weird French night club that sounds weird lmao he should be home sleeping. Unless Daryl is going to do a ridiculous striptease I don't wanna see it.

Some random French woman is going to "join him" // ok so I wanna give the benefit of the doubt but like... I know AMC and I know they're gonna try a romance thing. So that means basically we're getting another Leah situation, I predict, except this time she's French™️. French Leah. Cool awesome we definitely didn't have a wonderful potential love interest with Connie yep definitely not thanks AMC.

There's a pic of Norman on set wearing suspenders // Daryl would never be caught dead pls

Daryl is going to go through a "journey of self-discovery" or some bullshit like that // ohhh so basically they're gonna change Daryl's entire personality which the writers already have a tenuous grasp of! I didn't know Daryl was a 20 year old college student trying to "reinvent himself" during his summer abroad program in France 🙄 pls Daryl is a grown ass man and he already knows who he is why are they making him go through this shit now he has a whole ass family in AMERICA (never thought I would be this passionate about America wow)

IT TAKES PLACE IN THE 1960S?!?!?! // first of all, no fucking way. Second of all, you've gotta be fucking kidding me right. If they try to incorporate time travel into this shit show then I'm gonna delete everything I've ever written thanks. (Btw I am like 99.9% sure this isn't true because ???)

Anyway this whole thing sounds like an absolute train wreck and I have no idea how I am going to deal with it in terms of fanfiction but I will try.

[ashtraysystem]

i didnt get the chance to talk about this in therapy but its eating me alive with anger so i gotta spew it somewhere

one of my professors keeps blaming every little thing on her mental disorders. Like, i understand having mental disorders and having no other way to explain your behavior, but you dont have to say "sorry its the [mental disorder]!" every. single. time.

like, you could just phrase things as "oh this is what makes sense to me" or "this is what helps me focus" or "this is how i process best"

but thats not the only thing about her that irks me. i could get over that, if it werent for the fact that she expects everyone to conform to her ideals, her way of learning, her technology, etc.

She refuses to learn adobe products and is forcing us to use google slides of all programs. we've literally been trained on adobe products the past 3 years, and no one in their right mind would use google slides for a professional project like this! At the very least use powerpoint, but google slides??? really??? it works in a pinch but,,, just why??? like how do you get this far in the industry not being at least somewhat familiar with the leading programs used??

She got so mad at us for even suggesting she try learning it. She also got kinda mad when I told her to turn off the music she was playing while she was talking bc I couldn't process what she was saying. If it was classical music that would be fine, but it was lyrical music, and with my audio processing??? it just goes straight through. one way train no stops man.

She just makes me so mad bc shes extremely rigid and blames everything on her mental disorders rather than just taking accountability.

I'm trying my goddamn hardest to advocate for myself in that class, and at this point others too!! I've gotten to know these people over the past year and goddammit I CARE ABOUT THEM!! I know that they are just as uncertain as I am in this class, and that if I don't push back then no one else will. Hell we even talk shit about the professor IN FRONT OF HER thats how fucked we all are in this class. None of us seem to even like her. Like, we've talked shit about professors in the past, but theres always been some sort of positive about the professor where we keep our shit talking quiet and away from their ears bc we respect them immensely as a person even if we hate them as a professor. but this professor? we barely respect her at all.

Honestly for everyone's sake I hope we find something in her worthy of respect, but the way she interacts with everyone in such a negative way does not give me hope about it.

When I was talking to her about my project she kept trying to hijack it, even when I specifically tried to say "No that's not what my idea is" and she just talked over me. It's like she just likes the sound of her own voice. It was like a dog and their owner tugging at the leash wanting to go opposite ways. Two forces that weren't budging. I ended up talking to my mom who helped me figure out how to phrase my idea in words my professor would understand, and forcibly took the leash into my own paws so to speak. I'm just doing my thing now, knowing I have a goal and that all I have to do is translate into words she gets for a decent grade.

Its just overall very frustrating trying to communicate with her, because we are two very VERY different people.

[38sr]

#IndustryQ (maybe?)

Right now I don't have a laptop, do you think is possible to start learning animation on the iPad and then later on try to translate what I learnt there to the animation industry apps?

I don't see why not! Art supplies can be expensive (from tools to software) so if you feel like an iPad works with your budget, then that's okay. Not everyone can afford a 24in Cintiq or the entire Adobe Suite. Sometimes you gotta make do with what you got. But nowadays there are so many more affordable options that I would never tell someone that they can only buy a specific set of equipment. I remember back in college when I saw how crazy expensive Harmony and TVPaint was and felt heartbroken that I couldn't afford it. But then I discovered Clip Studio Paint and have been using that program for 7 years after only paying $250 for a perpetual license. And now I primarily use it for my work in Japanese productions. If it works, it works. You don't need to break the bank to achieve your dreams, you just gotta think of creative solutions.

But if you do wanna work in the animation industry (US specific), I would suggest you to at least learn how to use the software many studios use (ToonBoom Suite, Adobe, etc). Your drawing skills can always be transferred over but learning how to use the program will always give you an advantage when applying to jobs. Some productions don't train green artists and some do train new artists how to use the programs (it's always a gamble). So it never hurts to learn.

Until you're financial able to make that sort of investment (yes, it is an investment), work with what you got! There's nothing wrong about it and many people in the industry are impressed when you're able to produce major studio level work with means that aren't major studio level. If you can work off an iPad and make good work, your output will only be maximized when you're given the industry level tools (and most studios provide the computers and software anyway so you don't have to pay). I hope that answered your question!

[polarisbibliotheque]

when do u think youll be done with the we shall never surrender project??

Hi, dear! That's a great question, thanks for sending it in!

To be quite honest with you all: I don't know.

There's a few reasons for that, so bear with me a little, please "^^

1 - I'm on a sudden art mentoring program with a friend who offered it to me freely.

I've been unemployed and ill for quite a while and a 'friend' of mine literally scammed me and stole all the money I had left, so I'm officially broke. That's been stealing my nights of sleep, because I'm trying to figure something out to make some money and at least pay my credit card every month.

When I mentioned with my mentor I might try to get in the art industry, she was over the moon and took me in for training free of charge and help me as she can so I can get a job. That being said, I'm focusing 1000% on that - hence why I disappear for so long: in less than a month, I've finished 600+ drawings.

Yes, I'm crazy. But this is the only shot I've got after a long period of distress and not knowing what to do. I'm giving it all to it.

2 - I decided to use this mentoring time to improve my art and apply it to the requests of the Shall Never Surrender Project!

I always thought I could do better with the requests - I don't want to deliver something bad and half assed. This last month, I feel like I improved so much, I wanted to wait a little bit to deliver something with a better quality!

3 - My health sometimes kicks me down and so I need to choose carefully what I have energy to do.

As you guys know, I'm trying to recover from an illness and I have a chronic illness as well. I don't eat much and that means sometimes I don't have enough energy to get up from my bed.

There are days I start being productive at 3 p.m - I spend all the morning lying down, gathering energy to tank the day and taking a few naps. There are other days, I can't even bring myself to eat 'cause I feel like I'm going to pass out midway to the kitchen.

Think Vergil dragging his ass out of Hell and crumbling apart at the beginning of DMC5. That's it, literally, I'm not being dramatic.

I have to prioritize what I can do during my days, then. Usually, I prioritize my mentoring, then helping my mom with chores and running errands and then, by night, I'm already very tired. If there's any energy left, I try to write - for the blog here or the book I'm trying to write - and then work on the Shall Never Surrender Project.

It's slow. Very slow. But it's going.

4 - Nevertheless, I want to finish the requests of the Project before starting comissions.

Like I said, I'm broke. And, as you might have seen, I opened commissions to help a friend of my mom who is in a worse situation than mine and really needs some help.

I want to finish the Project requests before any commissions start coming in, because I do feel guilty for making you guys wait so long. I thought I could deal with requests of full, coloured and polished artworks quickly, but I can't.

That was a foolish overestimation of my part and I am sorry.

Even then, people don't commish me a lot. I had a few commissions some years ago, but I gotta tell ya, it's VERY rare for me to get something. Even then, I need to try. For this friend of my mom and for me, eventually.

If I'm not wrong, there are 3 requests for me to finish. I'm working on them in the order people have requested, and honestly, I hope to finish them soon.

I'm really sorry for taking so long, but life sometimes runs over us and we are caught like a deer on headlights.

I know this might feel like a sassy response, but it isn't. I'm really happy you asked and I can explain a few things/give you guys some idea of what's going on and apologize for taking so long :)

[saltyxtides]

ROWAN DELACOUR.  

It was probably best they ignored everything anyhow. The real Bayden didn’t seem to think the real Celestis was contributing much of substance at the moment anyhow.

“That is exactly what all your option plans would do. Ruin everything with my family. When you hear my life. You’ll get it a little better. But, fine. I get it. Tune the guitar. Gotta heal or train or whatever before we can get back to normal. I’ve told you many times. I’m not stupid. I can understand things if you just say them normal instead of trying to overcomplicate everything all the time. Sometimes less is more. If anyone needs to learn that lesson, it is you.”

That was their big constructive criticism for the day and compliment at the same time because she finally managed to condense a little more than normal.  

Then he looked across at her and she wasn’t a she. She was a he. She was him literally, his very own face. That took some getting used to.

Start where they felt comfortable. Whenever they were ready. Ugh. They’d known each other for so long. It was so weird to finally be giving the actual details, but they couldn’t live like this if she didn’t get what she was involved in now. They had to spill it all. They suddenly felt like they were going to vomit.

“Okay. I’m going to. I’m just. Okay.”

How to start?

“I’m just going to try and take my own advice and try to make this as simple as possible. Get it all out there. Fill in the details after. Maybe yeah. We’ll see.”

They were breathing weird just thinking about it all.

“Okay here goes. My sister is the Horrorville Hacker. She killed all those people back then. Mom hid the bodies. I was set up to take the fall because she never liked me. I thought it was because I wasn’t a girl with power like Monty. I couldn’t get in that stupid coven she wanted to get in herself so bad, but she didn’t have powers either. The rest of the family does. It skipped Mom. Just unlucky I guess. Monty was everything Mom wanted to be. The perfect daughter. But it wasn’t because I was a boy or didn’t have power. I was never wanted just some accident of rape okay?”

Their face screwed up and they looked away as they said it. It was not exactly the sort of thing they ever told anyone actually, so trying to get them to understand their family dynamics was difficult.

“I don’t belong on this fucking earth. I shouldn’t fucking exist and it started to make sense at that point why Monty got everything bigger and better and blah. So, when I found out the truth of who I was all I ever thought about was my father who I didn’t know, never met, never named. But, I found out. Long story short. When I found out I killed him. So, I deserve to be prison. I do. I’m a murderer. I may not be the Horrorville Hacker serial killer but I killed that mother fucker dead for what he did to my mom and what he did to my life, this stupid life I didn’t ask for.”

Their eyes were getting emotional.

“So um... when they set me up to take the fall for those murders I didn’t care. Fuck it. I knew I deserved to be here anyway. No one’s ever finding his body I promise you that and I am not sorry and if this is my penance so be it and Mom knows I see it that way. Yeah, she knows because in the start I didn’t even know my mom knew it was my sister who was doing it. I thought she set up this whole program and paid for all these fancy lawyers to get me into this mental place instead of prison because she could get me here with her. Basically this whole program is bullshit for other patients. It was created literally just for me to not go to prison and keep me near my mom. The rest is filler. Your treatment is bullshit and pays for their lifestyle. I was wrongfully accused. Monty had a future. I didn’t. I’m sick anyway. I’m a fucking loser. Fuck it. At least she could take care of me. Better me than Monty.

“How wrong I was. Monty still does crazy shit like this to this day. Mom’s still covering her tracks, burying bodies. It’s been years. They’re just better at it. She comes in and visits me and tells me all about it. I’m her brother. She loves me. I’ve given her a free life. She owes everything to me taking this one for the fam so she can be Mommy’s perfect little girl and I want her to be that. Mom should have that. But, she’s got Monty, so close enough. It’s what’s she’s got.

“But listen to this. When mom found out I killed he rapist, my father, whatever you want to call that motherfucker, everything changed. I think I started to become her favorite. Monty was causing all this stress. She kept promising to stop the chaos and it just kept happening. Mom always playing damage control. Then she’s got me. Her sweet boy who avenged her and sits pretty to keep her real daughter safe. I start making her rich with this program. You make fun of Princess Bayden but I earned that spot on that throne. My mom has broken down crying apologizing for all of this. She takes care of me and I take of her.

“Things aren’t as cut and dry as they look around here. We can’t just back out and tell the truth. She doesn’t deserve that. Monty’s in control. I just want to keep my family together. At least... sometimes. Sometimes I want to run the fuck away and never come back. But, where would I go?” They shrugged. “I shouldn’t fucking exist anyway.”

That felt like enough of the story to soak in so far. Let them process on that.

“But see? Switching bodies with anyone else would put everyone in the wrong position to do their jobs here in the cover up and continued serial killing and witch entrapping. I’m in here so Monty can be out there growing stronger. She has supreme potential. All the coven leaders say it.”

Witch entrapping.

They’d let that one linger too.

       THIS was about Bayden, more than it was about themselves.  The only thing they had to lose, was well, there l i f e.  Maybe . . . they didn’t want to think about the theory Leo left behind what felt like decades ago since they met before they came here.  The years have certainly gone by so fast that they didn’t realize how long they’ve really been in the Asylum.  Honestly, they were doing GOOD, up until n o w.  && instead of arguing with Bayden anymore, or digging a bigger grave for themselves with the disarray chaos in front of them making things evidently worse.  

       “FINE.” As if they would take what they said in mind.  While it’s not a matter of s t u p i d, they never really thought Bayden was that, but a matter of how much his family keeps Bayden in the dark.  Not that they themselves help in that matter.  To much or to little they weren’t sure how to go about expressing it.  It’s also worse. . . processing it all in this body of Bayden’s.  It’s much harder to think, as much as it was harder to function.  Bayden’s NAIVE-n e s s was not stupid.

       ‘ Take a picture it will last longer PRINCESS, ’ it was like the words wanted to come out, as it was on the tip of there tongue as they felt Bayden stare at them like a object.  Holding it in.  Hazy as there memories where, they tried a kinder approach, getting a sense none of the transfer between them was easy.  Taking Bayden’s hand instead they gently pushed Rowan softly on the shoulder.  Hopefully breaking the stare down, before they concentrated too hard && who knows what magical accident would happen.

       No defense against a Witch with a spell at the tip of her tongue, or a little witch that doesn’t know the telekinetic prowess they hold.  Thankfully only one of them vomited.  So kudos to Bayden’s inner-will.  Unlike Bayden, they purged.  It shows it’s never really easy to talk about the past.  Only now that they were forgetting, they were feeling empty in some way, as if the past would fill the emptiness regardless of how bad it was.  Leaning back, propping themselves up on there elbows.  Preparing themselves.  Not sure what was going to be said.

      The visage of Bayden looked really upset.  They kept running one of there hands through black hair && shook there head a little.  Listening.  It was a lot to take in.  Being in the process of another person’s body, it took longer to process with. . .disabilities Bayden had.  It was harder to process it all quickly.

       Death.

       Murder.

       Rape.

       A boy that loves his family regarding the rot && ruin.  Clinging on to it too.

       Breaking News.

       Bayden deserved better.

       It all felt sensitive to talk about - felt like some they ought to keep a lot of it to themselves.  After all, they cared for Bayden immensely && already knew though there friendship was six feet deep underground && dying.  They didn’t need to push them into the grave itself.  Pointing out his sister.  The flaws.  The irresponsibility.  Potential was just a nice way to say Monty was SPECIAL.  Breaking down the idea of false potential his sister really had.  It would be like arguing about Dracula.  He’s not after Lucy to offer his eternal, undying love && devotion.  

       He wants to drink her dry - an ocean of blood wouldn’t have satisfied his thirst.  Where Monty stood, there was blood in the sand, && if she was killing her own kind for power . . . It’s only going to be a matter of time before reality sinks in.  She’s no different then a modern day Dracula, just a copy cat of someone else in a different form.  Being the next Coven Supreme is already predetermined by nature itself, It’s not something someone can truly steal away, fake, even someone like themselves couldn’t steal it forever.

       Not that they would.  They also couldn’t bring the fact even if Monty made it.  The DEATH would never s t o p.  The killings would keep happening.  It’s something that’s going to follow her until the CULT members turns on the f a l s e  l e a d e r.  Once they figure out there own are dying, && Monty kills the wrong Witch.  If Bayden had strong family ties, then one day Monty is going to meet someone with those same && strong family/best friend/lovers values ready to unravel the truth.  A riot will begin.  Figuring out the truth && the whole truth.

       Killing one another in the process.  It gave them to much of a headache to consider the aftermath.  The once upon a time fear what they could truly lose.  The body they might have been born from, if there not already dead.  Or on Monty’s soon to be list. Monty could be compared to a modern day Dracula in many ways, though they still saw them as an overgrown turkey.  In the end of all this?  They didn’t need to destroy Bayden.  They just needed to be with him for support?  As they’ll have a lot of time to think about Dr. Wardeyn. . .

       “I’m sorry,” They said soberly, as that wasn’t very comforting finally finding the power to talk.  “I don’t have any answers about how to make any of this better, Bayden.”

       “All I know is that we are here.  We exist.”  Even if it’s messed up.

       “You can leave!  Run away from all this, go be Rowan Delacour.  You’re a Delacour now.  Nnn.  You’re in Rowan’s body anyway.  You can LITERALLY go a n y w h e r e.”  && yet still stay in the same place all at once.  Not that it’ll help them understand.  The Bloodline in a Witch, or the body he inhabits can take him literally anywhere he’s ever dreamed through books.  Perhaps not in the way they imagine freedom would be, but Bayden would find out sooner or later, after they adjust, && with guidance when there ready.

       A Magical Historian.  Not that they ever adjusted to that one type set.  They missed there own talents, && the comfort of there own body.  But it’s complicated.  Doubting.  Falling in a spiral of loss, as if, gravity was setting in && making it feel it was a nearly impossible feat.  A part of them realized, with the truth underneath Bayden’s words.  It’s kind of a Doll House Community. . . Now there was even more pressure in realizing: Just a plaything or a Body to experiment with.  

       Only when there in the right body. . . but even then how do they even know when tides turn. . .

       “But there’s no shame in you deserting this place Bayden.  You know where to find yourself.  It’s not like I’ll be going anywhere anytime soon you do know that right?”  Grounding themselves, they just have to play the role of Bayden from memory.  “You’ve lived your entire life in a bubble.  In here.  Things happen for a reason, maybe you should consider the chance you have now.  To escape it for a while.”  

       “While I’m being you.”

       “Not destroying your life’s work.”

[5sosfanfictioncatalogue]

Teacher AU Masterlist

Accidents Happen (ao3) - flowercrownmikey luke/ashton, michael/calum G, 3k

Summary: Ashton just kissed harder and told himself that this was worth it. Worth the risk. He curled his muscled arms around Luke, squeezing the boy into him further and lifting his hips for the friction.

"Hey, Ash. The door- whoa!" Ashton panicked, throwing Luke off of him...

Or// Teacher!Ashton gets caught making out with his Student!Luke.

Everything comes back to you... (ao3) - milecgv luke/calum, michael/ashton G, 11k

Summary: “So Cal, I think Ashton might have mentioned something about a gift? From us, to you?” He couldn’t keep his smile at bay while he talked and Calum really didn’t like where this was going.

“Yeah, he might have said something of the sorts…”

“Well, I think I found the perfect gift for you Cal.” He said, giving a small tug on the person’s sleeve and sending him a smile that Calum could only describe as encouraging.

As if in slow motion, Calum watched the man take a deep breath, turning around and punching all the air out of the brunette’s own lungs.

There, in the flesh, dressed in a black suit and tie, same sparkling cerulean eyes and beard instead of exposed tender skin, seventeen years older than the last time he’d seen him, was Luke fucking Hemmings.

For Him (ao3) - @daydadahlias​ (cornflowerblue (daydadahlias)) michael/calum/ashton E, 25k

Summary: Ashton Irwin is a geography teacher with a massive crush on the band teacher, Michael Clifford. When cutbacks threaten the school's music program and Michael, Ashton springs into action. He dusts off his long-unused wrestling skills from college and earns money for the program by moonlighting as a mixed martial arts fighter, trained by ex-fighter Calum Hood. Though the school nurse, Luke Hemmings, thinks he's crazy, Ashton gains something he never expected (*cough* two boyfriends *cough*), and finds a semblance of safety in the chaos.

or, the slutty Here Comes the Boom AU that none of you knew you needed.

give me something real (ao3) - rocketshiptospace luke/ashton T, 14k

Summary: the five times luke and ashton hid their relationship, and the one time they didn’t.

gotta support the teachers.(ao3) - loverofyours luke/ashton N/R, 1k

Summary: “I love you”, I whispered into his ear. He whispered it back, assuring me it was true with a quick peck on the lips

Or, Ashton and Luke love each other very much.

Hot for Teacher (ao3) - FayeHunter michael/luke T, 1k

Summary: Michael doesn’t want to be up this early bringing his niece to school. At least the teacher is hot

i want to teach you a lesson (in the worst kind of way) (ao3) - softirwin michael/calum, luke/ashton T, 5k

Summary: “Who’s that, sir?” Lily asks, jabbing at the window.

“The new PE teacher,” Michael says.

“He’s cute,” Sarah says, and a couple of the girls nod vigorously.

“He’s also twice your age,” Michael says. “Go on, off to your practice rooms.” The girls groan, but one by one pull themselves away from the window and start to wander off. Michael stays by the window, one eye on the girls to make sure they actually go where they’re supposed to and one eye on the new PE teacher, who’s dividing the class up into groups and handing out footballs. He is kind of hot, Michael supposes, if you’re into muscular guys who are clearly good at sports. Which Michael most definitely is.

Like We Were Schoolkids (ao3) - punchinginadream michael/luke N/R, 2k

Summary: It was hard to say what exactly led Michael and Luke to each other. If you asked Luke, he would say it was fate. But if you asked Michael, he'd simply say it was because his son doesn't know how to tie his shoes.

Off-Screen (ao3) - allsassnoclass (brightblackholes) luke/ashton G, 3k

Summary: Now that classes are being taught from home due to the pandemic, students are getting a glimpse into Professor Irwin's home life, especially when his mysterious husband keeps interrupting class.

remember when... (ao3) - cliffakitten luke/ashton M, 3k

Summary: “Everyone, this is our new student assistant, Ashton Irwin.” Luke is sure that he will always remember that moment. The moment when his tutor introduced the guy with the mess of curly hair, big hazel eyes behind the cutest glasses to exist and the brightest, most gorgeous smile Luke had ever seen. The moment when he realised this actual god was the student assistant his tutor was talking about. The moment he realised he was completely and utterly fucked. ~ Or, an excuse for me to write uni-student!luke giving tutor!ash a blow job under a desk when other people are in the room.

stained hearts (ao3) - galacticsugar luke/calum M, 28k

Summary: “I’m not really looking for a serious relationship right now.”

Okay. That’s okay. Good, even. Get to know each other before they get in too deep.

“But I liked spending time with you and I liked having sex with you and I’d like to do it again.” Luke squeezes Calum’s hand, pulling Calum’s gaze to his face. He’s smiling softly, eyes illuminated by the sun, starbursts in his pupils and shadows of his curls in perfect spirals on his shoulders. “If you want.”

Casual. Sure. Calum can do casual.

“I want.”

Teacher's Boy (ao3) - MukeOnTheRocks calum/ashton, michael/luke M, 10k

Summary: After getting detention for a week Calum falls for the teacher of least favourite subject, Mr. Irwin, while the teacher tutors him.

Teach Me (wattpad) - asdflkjhg5sos luke/ashton 40 parts

Summary: in which, after two weeks of detention a relationship blooms between a teacher and student

the only gift I want to see under the tree (ao3) - allsassnoclass (brightblackholes) luke/ashton, michael/calum T, 3k

Summary: Ashton knew he was screwed the moment he picked Luke’s name out of the hat for Secret Santa.

trying to embrace the pictures i paint (ao3) - calumsbf (selvish) calum/ashton T, 1k

Summary: "A soft knock at his door caused Ashton to jump, and he cringed as a cup full of water and paint brushes clattered to the tiled floor. Without even looking towards the door he ran over to the sink and yanked a handful of paper towels from the dispenser. As he wiped the mess up from his knees he called into the air,

“All finished pieces are drying on the racks to your left. If you have a question just give me a minute.”

“I’ll wait, then.”

Ashton froze.

With his jeans now stained with dirty water at the knees he stood up slowly, the soggy towel in his white-knuckled fist. In front of him was none other than Calum, the boy plaguing his dreams and spilling from his fingertips for weeks. His hands shook."

You're Just A Daydream Away (ao3) - ibroughtyoumybullets michael/luke T, 4k

Summary: Michael never cared for English, but he also never had an attractive English teacher, so that might have played a role in his disinterest.

Your Harming Selflessness (ao3) - lookingforhope luke/ashton T, 14k

Summary: Luke’s suddenly filled with anger. Not anger at Ashton but anger at his inability to make Ashton see his self-destructive patterns.