#soft melancholy

[ivaspinoza]

for souls that pursue the intangible (and enjoy choirs)

[maude-ivory]

To the bottom, dear, I had to fall

But you really caught me

You really caught me, dear

At the bottom where I fall

And slowly dear, I asked would you dance with me?

Here's the shades down

The lights off

And I didn't know you

And everything I do, done badly

Now I'll love you always

Even when I say you distract me

And set out tonight at some strange place

If we have no friends here

Well, I have you to begin with

To wake next to you in the morning

And good morning to you!

How do you do?

A good morning to you!

And more covers for you.

Sleep soundly, dear, 'cause I have to go.

Yeah, I'll love you always

And when we leave this place

And drive back to Carolina

And down to Savannah and stay

[heretherebedork]

Gun and Name listening to Em and Champ talk about the hot cheerleaders, knowing they don't share those thoughts but not wanting to set themselves apart, knowing they don't look at women the same as their friends but also knowing that they should be... oh, it's that soft melancholy that pervades the entire show.

It's the grandfather reminding his grandson that he just wants him to live a happy life and not be perfect, it's Em reassuring his mother that he's never felt like he missed out on anything. It's Gun's joy and insecurity that both rear their heads equally. It's the way Name's mom checks in to make sure his friends know how much their friendship is appreciated. And the way Em follows that up by reassuring Name of how much he values his friendship.

This show is filled with soft joys and soft melancholy and these soft moments of worry alongside these soft moments of happiness and it means so much.

[petaltexturedskies]

Emily Brontë, from Wuthering Heights originally published c. 1847

[wedarkacademia]

[beatcroc]

on fake pep and pizzahead

an essaypost because as far as i'm concerned pizzahead is dead and gone postgame. i know he isn't really and as far as the credits show he Does just kinda show up to lurk around peppino's sometimes, but i do not like or care about him enough to explore that encounter in art or a comic </3

if i did though this would be the vibe

now not to be misleading, i don't think pizzahead was ever outright mean or abusive to fp or anything, but he has a pretty strong track record of being neglectful and Not Really Giving A Shit, so... i don't exactly think their relationship was great either.

i mentioned on the post about the peppinos postgame that fake pep's nervousness mostly stems from him being very Unsure about everything- being a test tube baby and only ever knowing the tower --specifically mostly just bruno's where there was never anyone around+the labs which, while not a warzone in the traditional sense for him, still had him largely in survival mode and didn't give him any room for learning and self-actualization and whatnot--means he just Does Not Know much about how anything in the regular world works, and really he's missing a lot about how to contextualize his own experiences as well. being a fucked up unnatural Thing certainly doesn't help either, as there's no one else around that's like him in that way to learn or take cues from [the war clones weren't really sapient enough to glean much from, so closest he's got is real pep, which... only goes so far]; not to mention most people's reaction to anything he does is fear, there's a language barrier, i could really keep going here but the point is he just doesn't really know how to handle himself around people, which makes him Very Anxious.

this is ESPECIALLY strong anyone he perceives to have some kind of authority over him. peppino and pizzahead both are chief among these, and where i said a lot of the reason he gets on well with peppino because there is zero emotional guesswork with pep, the express opposite is true with pizzahead. you never know WHAT that guy is thinking. sure he's all smiles and silliness, but that doesn't translate to approval when fp has no doubt seen pizzahead committing The Atrocities while acting giddy as ever.

now for what it's worth, i do think pizzahead like, Liked fake pep; and at the very least was proud of him as like, his prized creation or whatever. not sure how much i'd say he respected fp as his own person outside of that but honestly even if he did it doesn't matter much given how... aloof he is with all his minions/employees anyway. nonetheless, his cheeriness towards fp wasn't disingenuous. as i see it, his giving fp his own little shop/attraction to run more or less how he pleased and making him the last and strongest guard to prevent people from getting to floor 5 was meant to attest to fake pep's potential and the prestigious place he would hold in his pizza empire.

unfortunately fp didn't know enough about ph or his motives, or even what he himself was supposed to be doing to understand it like that at all. i feel like pizzahead stayed pretty busy trying to get the tower ready for business; hardly any of his underlings really got much of a chance to talk to him, much less ones with whom he didn't have to work out things like "job interviews" or "financial compensation" and that sort of thing. fake peppino certainly knew who pizzahead IS, but i don't think they ever actually talked or interacted enough for fp to even so much as know his name. fake pep's perception of the events was more or less that they just shoved him in a dingy old shop for reasons unknown and told him not to let anyone upstairs, also for reasons unknown, and also to ESPECIALLY not let the real peppino up there. [with as pointed a target as peppino had on him by floor 4, i feel like it's not a stretch to say fake pep was given some kind of specific warning about him lmao]

besides lack of clarity about his purpose though, i think the most pressing question fake peppino would have for pizzahead, had he the nerve to ask it [which he doesn't], would be "why did you make me like this?" he's seen the other peppino clones, he's seen peppinoreal, he knows he's the odd one out. he knows he's supposed to Be Peppino, or be like peppino, or replace him, or something like that; but as far as he can tell he's just, by design, very bad at it. why would pizzahead make him bad at it? he's clearly capable of making more on-model clones, so what gives? did he just not care? was it some kind of sick joke? hell if fp is ever gonna know.

and to reiterate, pizzahead very much considers fake pep his prized creation; a new and improved Better Peppino, taller, friendlier, always has a charming smile, etc. These were intentional choices and meant to be a positive thing, but without knowing that context, fp is only ever going to see these features as flaws.

it's part of an overall 'inferiority' thing. see, as i see it, most of fp's existence has been defined by failure. failure to guard floor 5, failure to stop peppino [twice!!!], failure to Be peppino, failure to, i don't fuckin know, not become best buds with peppino??? surely that was not in the lesson plan. but anyway, basically everything fp had been given any real instruction to do, he has failed at.

obviously not a great feeling, like, in general, but a hell of a lot worse when confronting the guy who GAVE him that instruction in the first place. and even more so when, again, he can never read pizzahead's mood and well and goddamn aware of the atrocities this motherfucker has committed. [which to be fair ph would not actually do anything awful to fake pep; he'd just be like, mildly disappointed at worst. but as with everything else, fp does not know that]

fake pep as i play him is not particularly given to reflection, but i'm sure by now he's at least realized that the tower was not a great situation and/or that there was some fucked up shit going on in there....at this point I don't think he knows what he feels towards it or pizzahead.

the tower is still very much the first place he called home; bruno's was in some sense "made for him", and it wasn't exactly his choice to leave. he's also never been given an explicit reason to hate or distrust pizzahead, but on the flipside, his living around peppino has just been like so much better in every way, and again- this is the guy he had been told was a danger and given explicit instruction to stop. there's also something to be said for how hes gotta be aware of how much peppinoreal fucking hates the tower... i don't really have a coherent way to wrap this up, but like, you get it. It's Complicated™ and he's really not going to confront it unless he has to.

for the most part though, i... really don't think he's going to have to confront it. his life is a lot better now and there's little reason for most of it to come up; none of his past failures really matter here, and in some sense they're even celebrated; peppinoreal is far more glad that fp doesn't actually look or act much like him, so even if it still stings a bit somewhere in the back of his mind, maybe it's not so bad he's his own person.

anyway. to further clarify the image at the top, it's not peppino deliberately defending fp; it's peppino being "kill on sight" at pizzahead, and fp readily deferring to peppino's action because he is absolutely not figuring out his feelings on [gestures broadly to everything else in the post] in the moment, and pep is obviously a hell of a lot more ready to handle this situation than he is.

And a quick last tldr to clarify what I meant by everything else in the post,

[mamawasatesttube]

(adventures of superman (1987) #506 // young justice (1998) #7)

i like to think he went and read peter pan after leaving metropolis specifically because clark mentioned it.

[kozidraws]

Which of your art pieces is your personal favourite?

Ohh!! I have three!

[moe-broey]

IT IS SO IMPORTANT. To Always Remember that Alfonse IS also Líf. That they exist on a continuum. That Líf HAD to come from Somewhere. That Alfonse is Just As Capable of being a moody broody over-dramatic self-righteous cunt AND jackass. It is SO IMPORTANT to remember this

[ivaspinoza]

Stuck in Osi and The Jupiter's new album for quite some time now.

Go for this amazing artist if you are into Nordic vibes, haunted forests or amazing guitar work; dark blues, low country and melancholic atmospheres; or "death is just around the corner but I don't care" type of feeling; if you like a beautiful aching voice with fascinating melodies.

[petaltexturedskies]

She was there in the middle of the lake, surrounded by the awestruck swans, a nymph, a real nymph, submerging her skin like roses in the crystalline waters. Her hips like a flower shrouded by foam seemed to turn golden, bathed by the light coming through the leaves. Oh! I saw lilies, roses, snow, gold...

Rubén Dario, from "The Nymph"

[capricioussun]

It's been a rough day today so here's some comfort headcanons

Rus tries to distract himself. Preferably with company if it's an option, but he'll also manage on his own. He’ll do puzzles, sort/clean things in his room, customize some clothes, just...anything to take his mind off things for a while. If it's really rough though, he might just crawl into his closet and sit there disassociating for a while. Sometimes, coming out of being so stressed, he'll draw or paint something for a little while. Helps him reorient a little.

For a while, Edge would only distract himself. There's not time for comfort in a world like theirs. This would lend to overworking frequently, or on the rare occasions he pushed himself too hard, a very bad panic attack where he'd do his best to hide (usually in his closet) and make as little noise as possible. Once surfaced though, he takes a lot of comfort in making things with his hands. Either crocheting, cooking or baking, or painting. Though he'd rather be alone when calming down.

Stretch runs hot and cold on company for comfort. Sometimes he needs it, will go anywhere he isn't alone so he can't hear himself think, but sometimes he absolutely doesn't want to be near anyone. Those times, he mostly just distracts himself with video games or wallowing in bed dipping in and out of consciousness. He doesn't have as much available energy as the other two, so if he’s already feeling a bit beat, picking up his hobbies tends to just make him feel worse, so mostly, he just tries to nap and...not think about it.

—

Something someone could do to help comfort Rus would be to distract him. Hang out with him, do or talk about things unrelated to what's upset him. Giving him that space to not talk or think about it while still feeling supported would help a lot.

As for Edge, while he generally prefers being alone, if he’s not too worked up, quiet 'parallel play' might help. Just hearing someone nearby, doing their own thing, especially if they'd be willing to play taste tester if he’s cooking or baking, it helps bring him out of his own head sooner, and...well, it's good to be reminded he doesn't have to handle everything on his own anymore.

Honestly, Stretch being mildly bullied into doing something mild, if he’s not too down, could help him a lot. Especially getting him to leave his bedroom, even if he doesn't go much further than just the living room. A movie, snacks, and low energy company could usually do him a world of good (and someone who doesn't make him feel like he should be ashamed for feeling bad).

[crybaby-bkg]

when Dabi realizes just how much he loves you, it scares him at first. it’s a new feeling really, foreign and unearthly to him. a strange phenomenon that makes his chest twist tighter than the knots you tie in his shoes when he’s too weak to do it himself, when he pushes past his physical limit.

as he lays beside you in bed, he takes the entirety of you in. the slope of your nose and the skin of your cheeks and the curve of your mouth and your gentle hands that pillow your head. he takes you in, unblinking form laying beside yours, all quiet breaths interrupted by your rumbling snores.

he wonders if he should burn everything you’ve built with him to the ground. literally and metaphorically, emotionally and verbally. it’s all he knows, the flames, the uncontrollable fear that enrages him. he’s never had a good thing stay this long in his life, and he wonders if you’re up to no good inside that pretty little head of yours.

all he knows is destruction and chaos, but you’re something new. something mellow that cools off the flames and bandaids the scars and kisses the healing wounds. he’s not used to the comfort, to the easy, to the love, to the acceptance, to the—the you. he’s used to fucking shit up when it gets too good, but he’s not sure he can handle seeing the aftermath of watching you patch your skin together again and staple your wallpaper back up after he’s melted it from its foundation

so he thinks he’ll stay, for now at least. wait for the catastrophe, the explosion that always becomes of him wherever he goes. he’ll be prepared for it this time, he tells himself as he finally closes his eyes, knocking your shoulder once to wake you.

“Stop your damn snoring. Can’t get a lick of sleep.” He tells you, voice rough and ragged in his throat. but you don’t bite at him like he expects you to, hopes you do. you only blink sleepily at him before you smile, scooting closer until you make yourself small against his front, hands grasping the front of his baggy sleep shirt in your fists.

“Sorry. Love you.” You say, so gentle, it almost makes Dabi ache. why can’t you match his flame? why won’t your love for him flicker away like a dwindling candle? why do you keep loving him?

“Love you too. Now go the hell back to sleep.” He whispers, voice suddenly thick. you only giggle, a raspy little sound as you whisper back an okay, before drifting off again. And even though he complains about it, Dabi can’t fall asleep until your snores start up again. Then, he knows it’s safe to sleep. Then, he knows you’re there with him. Then, he knows that he has you and can hold you and maybe let you in just a little bit closer.

[virtuallyinsane]

Photo by Valeria Bukina

[thatscarletflycatcher]

ROBERT SWANN as COLONEL BRANDON in SENSE AND SENSIBILITY (1981)

Dir. Rodney Bennett