#some are completely clueless like they had no involvement but couldn’t be ruled out right away *cough* Don

[savvylittlecoxswain]

WAIT WAIT WAIT you know how the people on the boat on the way to Berlin would hold mock trials? Just picture this for me…

Oarsmen v. Coxswain in an insane mock trial features Bobby literally crying on the witness stand as he recounts how his very own crew betrayed him, kidnapped and tortured and stuffed him in a dog kennel(yes that actually happened).

Everyone knows it’s all in jest but that’s some juicy drama right there like that’s easily the top storyline for a whole week because how could those giant ruffians do such a thing to their poor little coxswain? It’s Bobby who orchestrated the whole thing because this is about to be the craziest trial yet.

They got a “judge” and Bobby builds up his team of lawyers. They get some other Olympian’s to serve as the oarsmen’s attorneys and they find some impartial jurors from various different events. The “court room” is packed and Bobby is putting on one heck of a show for everyone. It’s a top tier production that’s totally unscripted but everyone got so invested in this trial. There were tons of witnesses to speak about their relationship before the event and eye witnesses, I mean they even got the dogs on the witness stand.

[thefallenbibliophilequote]

The Asgardian Way

Loki x Reader

Summary: you get your period on the most unfortunate time- on date night with Loki. Embarrassed as you are of the topic from past experiences with boyfriends, Loki shows you that unlike mortal men- Asgardians view this time of the month for women in a much better way.

Word count: 1,849

Warnings: period talk, fluff, shade on Christianity, some shade on human men, Loki being the ideal boyfriend we all deserve.

A/N: this was requested by @the-departed-potato and while I do not take requests I just really had to do this one because this was like just perfect for me specifically to do. Sorry it took so long! Sorry if this sucks!😅 I also truly had to hold myself back from giving even more shade on Christians of old times because damn I could write a whole essay about those people and how they spread misinformation that changed real history to fake mainly bc of witchcraft. This is not beta read so all mistakes are by yours truly!

No one is allowed to repost my writing or steal or copy my work! Reblog on tumblr is fine.

Masterlist

--

It's been going on for months now, the shameless flirting, the gentleman behaviour, and the devious looks he sent your way that completely contradicted his actions and left you a blushing mess even when he only opened the door for you- then he would wink at you.

It wasn't until one night that you gathered up courage to ask him out.

You were staying late at the Avengers Tower, you wanted to finish working on the new gadget you had built with Tony at the lab so he sent you to bring the two of you some coffee- he knew it was useless to tell you to go home and sleep- last time he tried to do it you called him a hypocrite and conditioned one of his suits to blast him if he gets close to you. You found it hilarious. He made sure to update the security of his code.

You went to the kitchen when you happened to overhear a conversation of two gods.

"Why have you not taken her on a date yet, brother?"

"I wish to court her properly, she deserves to be treated like a lady." You heard Loki respond to his brother. You leaned on the wall, trying not to get hopeful and to get the butterflies to calm down.

"Y/N is a fine lady, however, I heard from Stark that midgardian women might mistake courting like ours as mere jest." You smiled a bit at the scoff they both let out.

"Mortals continue to baffle me." Came Loki's comment, before Thor continued- not letting the subject go.

"Ask her on a date, I'm sure she will appreciate it." He encouraged his brother who wasn't as sure.

"I think, brother, that she is different- she will appreciate the old delicate arts of courting." He was not wrong- you were always old fashioned. But now at his admission, you stepped out of the shadows and into their view.

"While I do appreciate the courting, I'd love it if you would ask me out." Loki turned around at the sound of your voice.

"How long have you been standing there, darling?" he fidgeted with his hair.

"Long enough," you stepped down the stairs to stand in front of him. "What do you say about this Friday night at six? There is an art exhibit at the museum, I think you'll like calling out all the inaccuracies."

"Yeah, I'd like that." He gave you a small shy smile, and you completely forgot about Thor who stood on the side, watching it all unfold.

"This is great," he said. "You two are finally going on that date, see brother I told you-"

Thor stopped when he looked at Loki who sent him daggers at ruining the moment. You only chuckled.

"I have to go get Tony and I some drinks, so I guess I will see you then." You were about to turn around to head towards the kitchen when Loki took your hand in his, making you turn around, then he kissed the back of your hand lightly, bowing with a small smile at the blush on your cheeks.

"I look forward to it."

It took you a couple of second to function after he did that, mumbling a quiet goodbye you turned around and refused to look back at the smirking god.

•

You have gone with the god for a couple of dates now and then, sometimes you didn't see him for a whole week because of meetings in Asgard and while you were sad that you didn't get to see him-you were glad he was gone on that exact week every time.

You have been seeing him for about 2-3 months now and it was great- up until your period decided to come early. Right on your scheduled date.

You were nervously pacing your apartment thinking how to tell Loki that you can't go out with him tonight. You didn't want him to see you like this- he is a god, and you- you are a mortal woman who was having trouble getting out of bed because your body decided to punish you for not being pregnant this month.

Your body was so sexist.

Suddenly, a knock on the door.

Groaning, you got out of bed and headed for the door, checking who was there you were puzzled when you saw Loki there, dressed to the nines. Surely you didn't waste so much time, he must be early.

"Dear, are you okay there?" he called you.

"Yes, I'm fine- just a moment!" you tried to make yourself look presentable in a rush just so you could open the door to the dashing prince who was awaiting you.

You opened the door with a smile, which he returned.

You were used to acting like you were okay while your cramps were killing you from the inside but it seems like the god of lies could not be so easily fooled.

"Hi Loki, I was not expecting you this early." You laughed courtly, "And I was actually meaning to call- I'm not feeling so well today, I'm afraid I have to postpone our date tonight."

Loki walked into your apartment, kissing you on the cheek before pulling back to study you.

"I wanted to see you sooner, so here I am. But now that I am here- well tell me what is wrong, dearest?" he frowned when he saw you slightly clench your fists.

"Oh, I'm just not feeling well, I won't be good company and I won't be able to enjoy a lovely night with you I'm afraid."

"I'm a healer my love; you always seem to forget my magic," he smirked slightly causing you to laugh- which was not good right now for you.

"I remember your magic powers very well when you prank me." You countered. "But no, this is not something you need to worry about."

He reached out and took your hand with a small laugh. The door locked itself with a wave of his hand as he took you to the couch.

"I'm afraid you will have to do better than that to fool the god of lies." He took both of your hands in his and you were sure he could see your embarrassment with the way he was gazing into your eyes, "Now tell me, what is wrong?"

"You really don't need to- it's kind of embarrassing-" you started to mumble, lowering your head.

"I'm still here, aren't I? What kind of man will I be if I am not taking care of those I care about?"

You pulled your hands away from him, embarrassed as you mumbled something he couldn't quite put together.

"What was that?"

"I'm on my period." You closed your eyes- not wanting to see his disgusted look. "See, so you don't need to be here, I can take care of it myself and we can reschedule our date to a week from now."

It was not a problem to you- you knew the drill- but having to explain it to a clueless god felt humiliating to say the least.

"Is that all? Why didn't you tell me sooner?" You opened your eyes to a puzzled god.

"Because it would make you uncomfortable," you replied, suspicious of his reaction.

"Why on Odin's beard would it make me uncomfortable?" He frowned at you and looked you over. He started peppering kisses on your hands.

"Because it is my period?" You knew he is a god, but maybe asgardians women didn't get that. "Here on earth, men tend to be disgusted by it, they don't like to get involved in it or talk about it."

He huffed out in surprised anger- that you did not expect. The god in front of you did not know how human males could be so awful.

"Well that is preposterous! Women are to be worshipped at those times!" you stared at him-he had always treated you differently, unlike anything you have seen on earth before. You knew Asgardian ways of manners were much old fashioned and yet so different all the same.

"Then tell me, how do asgardians see it?" you leaned on the back of the couch, facing Loki and pulling a blanket over you. You liked how safe he made you feel, but this still felt weird to you- you were not sure how to react- to what extent it goes. So, curiosity got the better of you, "because if I'm being honest, this is kind of embarrassing."

Loki sent you a smile with a twinkle in his eye.

"Darling there is nothing to be embarrassed of! You are naturally as powerful as a thunder storm, a tornado- lightning cowards before you and your power!" he was going to make sure you understand it, he had never been so baffled by humans before. "You hold the ability of life- eternal life- in every drop of blood that falls from you- from the most powerful being in all the realms. For a couple of days each month- you are being shown your true power even through your suffering- and in that time you, my dear, are more powerful than a god. You should be nothing but worshipped. That is what the gods of Asgard know it to be true."

"Do they really all think that?" you felt a sharp pain suddenly and Loki came closer to you, put his usually cold hand on your stomach and you felt comforting warmness ease your ache.

"They know it. The people of midgard knew it too at some point, but then some people who thought themselves gods- I think they called themselves Christians- decided that the bleeding was a show of witchcraft and called it a sin and spread many lies about it, which now I see are still believed to this day. You see, they were quite stupid." You laughed at the disgusted look he gave you, which in turn made him smile. "You know, I probably shouldn't tell you this but…"

"You never obey such rules." You laughed and put your hand over his one that was comforting you on your stomach.

"In one of Thor's travels he bathed in a river filled with the menstrual blood of the powerful Giantesses. That was to give him enlightenment and eternal life."

"Ew, did he actually do it?" you scrunched your nose and Loki kissed it.

"That is not disgusting- that was powerful and very well respected. When he came back, he was the smartest I have ever seen him."

"I hope he took a good bath after it…" you chuckled and smiled at him, "Thank you for this, the Asgardian way of thinking is way better than that of earth."

"Now, dear, while I do have a preferred way to help take away the pain-" you blushed under his gaze. "Tell me, what is it that you desire? Tell me, so I can worship you as I should."

You kissed him then and you knew right then when he kissed you back that the Asgardian men are way better.

•

Taglist: : @callmeluna @sstanbarnes @buckys-other-punk @drabblewithfrannybarnes @easygoingtheatre @that-one-person @justab-eautifulmess @onceupona-happilyeverafter @wipplogg @supraveng @samwilsons-pillowpecs @ayybtch @kitkatd7 @chrissquares @make-me-imagine @jessalyn-jpeg

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

Hello! I don't know if you're still doing asks, but I was wondering if you had any disabled Stiles fics? Blind, deaf, paralyzed etc? If not thats okay but if so thank you so much!

AND

Hey! I just finished reading Cornerstone and Windows on ao3 and I was wondering if you knew of any other blind fics? It doesn't have to be Stiles being blind. I'm just curious. Thank you! I get all my favorite fics from you!

Here you go, Stiles with a disability.

Windows by dr_girlfriend

(28/28 I 83,017 I Explicit I Sterek)

Derek has a new neighbor who won't stop looking.

Excerpt:

“You’re blind,” Derek said flatly, the anger draining from him so suddenly he felt almost woozy. His vision cleared, his claws sliding back into blunt fingernails.

“Thanks for the memo, genius,” the kid said acidly. “I can still fucking defend myself, so don’t take another damn step.”

“Fuck, I...I’m sorry,” Derek stuttered.

“What?!” The kid’s brow crinkled. “I mean — what?! You’re fucking sorry!?” His lips thinned into a harsh line. “What, is this some kinda Hallmark movie where you’re discovering the error of your ways because you don’t want to rob a blind person?! That’s fucking condescending, man. I’ll have you know that —”

“Just, wait.” Derek interrupted what was apparently the start of a convincing argument as to why he should rob the kid after all, feeling his head start to spin. “This is — it’s a misunderstanding. I’m — I’m not robbing you. You’re — you’re safe, okay? I’m taking three steps back. Just — just let me explain.”

“Explain why you came busting into my apartment? Yeah, go right ahead, man, I can’t wait to hear this epic tale.”

Cornerstone by Vendelin

(6/6 I 83,738 I Explicit I Sterek)

Suffering from PTSD, ex-Marine Derek Hale moves back to Beacon Hills to open a bookshop and find a calmer life. That’s where he meets Stiles, completely by accident. Stiles is talkative, charming and curious. Somehow, despite the fact that he’s blind, he’s able to read Derek like no one else.

***

Darkness Before Dawn by lanoirpapillon

(1/1 I 856 I Teen I Sterek)

"Due to the actions of the Alpha pack, Stiles goes blind. After the threat is gone, Stiles has to learn to live without his sight, and maybe Derek would make the perfect seeing-eye wolf."

Nothing is Over by CinnamonLily

(1/1 I 2,083 I General I Steter)

Stiles had the perfect life, until his mate died. Again. It's been nine months, and he's not doing well. In fact, he resents everyone else's happiness and has become a hermit on autopilot. Somehow, he's forgotten that Peter never stays dead.

I See You Better by theroguesgambit

(1/1 I 4,686 I Teen I Sterek)

He dreams, sometimes, of his last moments of seeing.

At the church in Mexico, Stiles is blinded by a Berserker. Derek uses his new wolf status to act as a guide dog, while Stiles adjusts to his new reality.

Clueless by HappyJuicyfruit

(1/1 I 4,748 I General I No Pairing)

After everything they’ve been through together, all Derek wants is for his pack to be connected with strong, thriving, pack bonds. And for the most part, its working. The pack is growing, healing, happy.

He just needs to figure out why Stiles hates him so much.

My reflection is not who I am but who I must hide by RainbowDuck

(1/1 I 5,235 I Not Rated I No Pairing)

The first 11 years of Stiles (no one will ever know my real name) Stilinski's life were more of less textbook. The next 3 were hell and if it could go wrong, it did. Stiles and her dad Noah move to Beacon Hills for a new start and it ends up being the worst and the best thing.

In Your Footsteps (I Will Walk) by cywscross

(1/1 I 8,873 I Teen I Steter)

It takes him months, but Stiles gave him a destination, gave him direction, gave him hope, and so he goes.

T: Tremors by brokenes

(1/1 I 9,477 I Teen I Sterek)

Derek tried not to think of hospitals and blood and hearts no longer beating and his legs, leaving it all behind, knowing that Stiles' no longer could. It took him seven years to stop leaving.

Wild Tonic by officerstilinskihale

(1/1 I 11,010 I Mature I Sterek)

Stiles nodded and smiled again, his teeth flashing brightly and he signed something again, before looking frustrated with himself.

“You’re welcome,” Derek told him, feeling a wave of relief when Stiles’ face brightened. That would’ve been awkward if Stiles hadn’t been trying to say thank you.

“I had a really good time, so yeah. I’m glad you came with me,” he said, feeling his face grow hot. Derek wasn’t usually like this. He wasn’t confident. Sure, he had the looks and he could flirt shamelessly when he got hit on, but he always got shy around the people he genuinely liked, not that there was too many of those.

But Stiles didn’t let him dwell on that. He gripped Derek's arm, grinned cheekily and pointed at himself before lifting two fingers. It took a while for Derek to get it but when he did, he couldn’t stop a smile from spreading across his face.

Me too.

Show Your Teeth, Yellow With Desire by ItsMe_Basil

(1/1 I 22,883 I Explicit I Steter)

The man looked up when Stiles stepped into the room, eyes appraisingly taking Stiles in from head to toe before smirking.

"Hello, sweetheart."

Stiles felt his heart jump into his mouth, his breath hitching in his throat. The orderly hadn't stayed long, leaving the two of them alone.

"Peter." He breathed. "You're real."

where the Double Walker dwells by forestofbabel

(10/10 I 38,164 I Teen I Sterek)

Derek looked like he always did, perfectly groomed and a little gruff. Though, as Stiles glanced at him, Derek’s face was lax with surprise.

“Stiles?” Derek asked, sounding flummoxed.

“Dude, I know it’s been a while, but don’t be so surprised I’m hung over in the woods. It’s practically tradition at this point.”

Derek sniffed the air, eyeing him with distrust. “But, you can’t… I just…” he trailed it off like a question, taking a half step forward before pulling out his phone and dialing a number, eyes never leaving Stiles.

Complications by idareu2bme

(15/15 I 42,523 I Teen I Sterek)

Derek hadn’t meant to involve Stiles in all this --Stiles who was warm and pliable in his sleep, whose warm, brown eyes reflected light they would never again see, who had a smile brighter than the sun, and who could see Derek when others never did.

At least the Road to Hell is paved, I'm not good with Stairways by lady emebalia (emebalia)

(80/80 I 170,037 I Explicit I Sterek)

When Derek signs up on a BDSM dating site, he expects things to be straight forward. Turns out the road ahead has more unexpected turns than he thought. But at least Stiles comes well equipped for twists and turns.

Caretakers by em2mb

(14/15 I 277,924 I Teen I Sterek)

Now Lydia sees the white room clearly, Stiles sitting cross-legged on the nemeton in his lacrosse jersey, squinting at a chessboard.

That’s when Lydia realizes her vantage point makes her Stiles’ opponent — and she has him in check.

Her instinct is to push her own king into danger, but Stiles grabs her wrist. “Come on, Lydia,” he says dryly, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Chess might not be your game, but surely you know that’s against the rules.”

Lydia tries to squirm away from him. “But you’ll die,” she insists, his grip tightening so much she’s certain his long fingers will leave bruises.

“Say it, Lydia,” Stiles urges. “Checkmate. Checkmate. Checkmate — ”

[sparklysung]

✨ADRENALINE RUSH – n.j.m.✨

© sparklysung – 2021. all rights reserved. no reposts, modifications and/or translations allowed.

pairing – na jaemin x female!reader

genre – smut, slight angst | non-idol!au, school!au

warnings – good boy!virgin!jaemin, bad girl!experienced!reader, corruption kink, unprotected sex (wrap it up guys), breeding kink, slight exhibitionism (library), creampie, marking, overstimulation

word count – 3.416 words

note – i got too much into it lol. it turned out so long, i’m sorry for that. i do hope you like it, i’ve been working on it for a few days now and it’s been rough. i’m hoping there aren’t too many errors, and if there are i apologize in advance, i know they are annoying. either way enjoy!

summary – as the local bad girl, your reputation was rather infamous. jaemin knew this and so he tried his best to stay away from you. but after getting paired up for a genetics project, he didn’t stand a chance against your desire to ruin his innocence.

taglist – @junguwuuu , @prvncejxon​, @carelessshootanonymous

part i ; part ii

you were mindlessly playing with your pen, doodling on the margins of your notebook, ignoring completely what your genetics professor was explaining on the board in the front of the classroom. 

that’s how class usually was for you; not paying attention to anything, just messing around with your highlighters, drawing more doodles to add to your collection or observing your classmates –not in a creepy way, though–. your professor wasn’t that clueless for you to nap until the end of the class, so you took advantage of whatever could keep you awake. 

when your hand started to cramp due to the constant movement, you started looking around the room with a bored expression, letting your thoughts go to anything and everything that seemed the tiniest bit interesting. that was until he caught your eye.

na jaemin. perfect na jaemin. excellent grades, the teacher’s pet, always so polite to everyone. the type of guy every parent would want their daughter to date and the perfect role model.

and you were the opposite. you never really cared about school; getting high scores was useless from your point of view, so you never took it seriously. you were used to sneaking out of your house to attend parties and going home drunk with a different guy each weekend –cause life is short and why not–. your lifestyle earned you a ‘bad girl’ reputation, as well as the protagonism of multiple not-so-nice rumours.

you two were so different from one another, belonged to completely different worlds.

that’s why you were so intrigued by him.

it’s not like this was the first time you notice him, you can’t just not notice him. he was gorgeous, to say the least; perfect face, flawless skin, sparkly round eyes adorned with long eyelashes, pink plush lips, fluffy hair with soft dark locks that fell beautifully on his forehead, framing the soft expression on his face. oh yeah, how could you forget that long neck of his, with a prominent adam’s apple that made your mouth water with the thought of marking it with purplish bites. you’ve wanted to ruin him since the first day you laid eyes on him, make him break under your touch and need you as much as he needs oxygen to breathe.

“so, before the class comes to an end, i’m going to assign you in pairs for the project i was talking to you about a few minutes ago.” groans of annoyance were heard from all around the room, finally making you pay attention.

as the professor began mentioning the pairs, your attention drifted once again towards jaemin. he looked genuinely interested in what was being said; eyebrows furrowed in concentration while waiting for his name to be called.

“kim sohee and lee donghyuck,” your eyes wandered down toward his broad shoulders, strong arms and slender fingers. your teeth nibbled with your bottom lip, nails sinking against the palm of your hand as you felt your panties grow damp by the sole idea of him fingering you. 

“na jaemin and y/l y/n,” your head snapped first in the direction of your professor, and then to his, who looked rather nervous sitting down a few desks in front of you, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. indeed, jaemin was nervous, so nervous that he felt like he was about to pass out. he could feel the looks full of pity his friends were throwing at him and it was making him feel even worse. he wasn’t too pleased either with the shot of excitement and anticipation he felt spreading across his body. you looked down at your hands, hair slightly covering your face as you tried to hide your devilish smirk.

you didn’t bother to listen to the rest of the pairs, being already too immersed in thoughts about every possible scenario that could take place while you two worked together on the project.

~.~.~.~

as soon as class ended, you threw your bag over your shoulder, making your way towards jaemin’s table and earning a couple of looks of disapproval from his friends. not letting that affect you, you approached him with a sweet smile plastered on your face. “hey,” his face shot up to look at you, hands still working on getting all his belongings inside his bag. straightening his back, he tried to look unaffected by your presence. he nodded his head shortly as a greeting and decided to get this over with as fast as he could.

“let’s work on the project at the library, right after class,” jaemin said, trying to sound confident, but you could see right through him; he was nervous. he figured that a place full of people was less risky rather than either of your houses, where you’d be alone and the possibility of something happening was a lot higher. you shrugged your shoulders, not really minding the location, “see you later, pretty boy.” you winked at him before making your way out of the room, leaving a flustered jaemin behind.

you were bad news, your name only coming up in conversations about breaking the rules, hookups during parties with lots of alcohol involved and other rumours. he knew he wasn’t supposed to feel like this, all about you screamed ‘danger, beware’. and his friends had warned him, always making sure to constantly remind him not to get closer than needed or he would be doomed. but he couldn’t stop the fast beating of his heart nor the butterflies that erupted in his stomach. 

jaemin was certain this wasn’t going to end well, at least not for him.

and he was right.

~.~.~.~

a few hours later, jaemin and you were sat side by side on a slightly secluded table. he decided against sitting close to the entrance, as the internet connexion wasn’t so good and you were required to do internet research. he felt on edge every time your thigh brushed lightly against his, though he wasn’t sure if you knew what you were doing or if you were completely oblivious to the small touches.

but you sure weren’t oblivious of the way his body reacted with each of them, fingers gripping tightly the edges of the book he had opened in front of him. you on the other hand pretended to not notice, intently reading the thesis you had found in google scholars about multifactorial and complex diseases.

at some point, you figured it was time to make your move and shoot your shot. it seemed like he liked your proximity and lingering touches, as he had never –in all the time you’ve spent in the library– made an attempt to pull away or make you stop. also, by the look of the prominent tent forming inside his school pants, he appeared to actually be really fond of it. smiling to yourself, you continued as if nothing happened.

jaemin was internally panicking, he was aware that eventually you were going to notice his little –not so little– problem. he wanted to either bury himself underground or lock himself inside his room and wait until he passed away from inanition, starvation or dehydration, whatever happened first. he tried thinking about disgusting things to make it go away, like strawberries or the time when he was dared to lick his friend donghyuck’s sweaty foot, but nothing seemed to work.

you could make out the outline of his hard dick from the inside of his pants, biting your lips to contain the smirk making its way to your face. your hand snaked up his thigh until it was close to where he most needed you, making him shudder and squirm nervously under your touch. “w-what are you doing?”, he managed to ask, swallowing the lump in his throat. this was the first time a hand that wasn’t his own was touching him. because, of course, he wasn’t that innocent. he had needs like every guy his age, hormones all over the place and making him painfully aware of the pretty girl sitting so close to him. your scent intoxicating and addictive, almost making him lean closer.

you didn’t even care to respond, too fascinated by the feeling of his clothed member against your hand, hot and heavy. “s-stop, this isn’t right, w-we can’t do this here.” the panic present on his voice made a chuckle fall from your lips, making jaemin shrink in his seat. 

“someone’s gonna hear us, w-we’ll get caught.” he didn’t know what else to tell you to make you stop, how could he convince you to stop when he didn’t want you to? you ignored his words and kept going, the idea of getting caught causing wetness to gather inside your panties. “then you’ll have to keep quiet,” the moan that slipped from his lips made you rub your thighs together to ease some of the tension.

you freed his member from the confines of his pants and briefs, pulling them down just enough for you to have easy access to it, but not so much to make it too obvious. he was big; thick enough to stretch you out nicely. you hummed in approval, spitting in the palm of your hand, going to grab ahold of his cock and slowly start to pump him. jaemin threw his head back, eyebrows furrowed, eyes closed shut and mouth agape in a silent moan. “does it feel good baby?” he hummed quietly, not trusting his voice. he leaned his body closer to yours, chest against your side while his head rested on your shoulder. “so needy”, you mumbled mockingly, to which his hips bucked slightly.

jaemin felt in cloud 9 having your soft hand wrapped tightly around his sensitive dick. he knew all of this was wrong, but it felt so good. he opened his eyes enough to be able to see you work on his shaft. your thumb flicked against his slit as it spread the leaking precum from the tip to the base. he was trying his best to avoid letting out any sound, afraid of drawing unwanted attention.

you could feel he was getting close by the stuttering of his hips, desperately thrusting back against your fist. and, as much as you wanted to see his face while cumming, you weren’t going to let him just yet. you needed him and you needed him now, your slick arousal starting to run down your inner thighs. you’ve had enough.

your hand stopped its ministrations, making him whine softly at the loss of friction. moving to straddle his thighs, you threw your leg over his until you were comfortably sitting on his lap, skirt riding up from your new position. your thin arms snaked around his neck, one going to tangle in his hair and the other to caress his jaw. his hands positioned themselves instantly in your hips, holding onto you for dear life. his eyes nervously wandered over your shoulder, making sure nobody was paying attention to what you both were doing.

you pulled his chin to get him to look at you, eyes hooded and filled with lust. you looked so hot, face flushed a pretty tone of red, eyes sparkling with mischief. he knew he would be jacking off to the thought of you for the rest of the year, if not for the rest of his life.

his thoughts were interrupted, heavy lids almost closing once again and mind going blank, as he felt you roll your hips against his hard cock, which was standing tall in between your bodies. biting your lip, you leaned in to kiss his, feeling for the first time his plump, soft pink lips against yours. a moan escaped your mouth at the sweet taste of his tongue, fighting against your desperately as if he would never be able to savour you again.

rising from his lap slightly, you used one of your hands to position the tip of his cock against your entrance and the other to push your panties aside. a soft groan left jaemin’s lips as he felt the wetness of your core. as you were about to lower yourself on him, he stopped you, fingers digging against your sides. “i-i have never done anything like this with anyone.” if you were being honest, you found his nervous stutter quite endearing. “then let me ruin you.” that was all it took for him to give in to you.

you pumped him a few more times, making sure to completely coat his shaft with both of your arousals. as you lowered yourself on him, you pulled him in for a heated kiss, swallowing his sounds of pleasure. when you had finally engulfed the entirety of his cock, you began moving your hips in circular motions, waiting for the both of you to get used to the feeling. the friction made him pull you closer, face buried in the crook of your neck while small whimpers left his lips, going straight to your core. your walls clenched around him tightly, drawing a loud groan from his chest, eyes rolling to the back of his head.

you kept kissing him, swallowing his groans and moans. he felt so good filling you up with his hard cock, he fit perfectly inside of you, as if he was made just for you; like a puzzle piece. “you feel so good, baby, stretching me out, so so good,” you praised him sweetly, hand running through his soft locks.

jaemin seemed to be unable to get enough of you. he didn’t want this to end, he wanted to stay with you –preferably inside of you–, be able to feel you so close and know he is the one who is making you feel so good.

“wait, fuck,” he gasped trying to catch his breath, “wait, i’m g-gonna cum if you keep going.” it hadn’t been long, but he was already worked up since you started touching him earlier. “is that so? remember we’re not using a condom, baby. if you cum inside me i could get pregnant.” you hummed, trying to get a reaction to your words out of him. and you got it as a higher pitched moan fell from his lips, feeling his grip on your waist tighten.

“you’d like that, wouldn’t you, huh?” you quirked an eyebrow, smirking to yourself when you felt him twitch inside of you. “yes”, he whimpered, vision blurred, the pleasure overpowering the fear of being caught. he found himself enjoying the thrill more than he should, almost embarrassed with how easily you could make him lose all his self-control. he knew you were playing with his mind, pushing him just enough to make him risk everything; his reputation, his image. exactly how you managed to get him to lose his innocence.

“what a filthy little boy, who would have guessed perfect student na jaemin was so much of a slut”, you whispered in his ear while raking your nails down his chest. jaemin could only buck his hips to meet yours, desperate to feel more, thighs burning from the effort. he was getting restless, unable to keep quiet as moans rolled off of his tongue with every roll of your hips. your mouth attached itself to his neck, biting harshly to leave pretty red marks that were soon to become purple. the sound of pages turning and typing on the library’s computers reminding you of where you were.

“please, i’m so close,” he didn’t even know what he was pleading for anymore, the only thing he knew was that he needed you, all of you, in every way possible; in every way you were willing to let him have you. “wanna cum inside my tight little pussy, baby? wanna fill me up with your hot cum and put your baby inside of me?” with glassy eyes and hot tears threatening to fall down his crimson cheeks from the overwhelming pleasure which was almost making him dizzy, he let out a string of ‘yes, yes, yes’. his hands clutched your hips to bring you closer, digging his nails on the flesh and leaving crescent moon shaped marks. a moan slipped from your lips, only increasing his desperation.

you picked up your pace, your naked thighs slapping lightly against his clothed ones. the both of you could hear the wet mewls your cunt made every time you lowered yourself on him until he was balls deep inside of you. his hips raised to meet yours, hitting your most sensitive spot with the tip of his cock, as he tried to match your fast rhythm.

jaemin didn’t know what to do with himself. he knew he had to be quiet or else someone was going to realize what was going on, but he physically couldn’t hold the sounds in. in fact, he could almost taste the faint taste of copper from biting too harshly on the flesh of his lips. on the other hand, you didn’t seem to have as much trouble to keep your cool, as only a couple of sighs of pleasure left your lips from time to time. little did jaemin know you were struggling to keep your mouth shut. every thrust of his hips causing him to hit deeper, the fucked out look in his face motivating you to go faster.

though you weren’t as close to cumming as he was, you knew this was his first time and it seemed like he was about to combust. it wouldn’t be so nice of you to make him wait longer, would it? “cum for me baby boy,” and that’s all it took for jaemin to reach his high, hips stuttering and hands trembling. feeling his seed paint your velvet walls, your hand went down your body to find your clit, starting to rub circles against your sensitive bud. a wave of pleasure shot through your body and made your hips jerk roughly against him. the sob jaemin let out went straight to your core making your climax approach faster than you would have thought.

taking advantage of the slippery mess he had made of the both of you, you slid up and down on him faster and with more strength. jaemin, seeing as you weren’t going to stop anytime soon, started growing impatient. “t-to much, p–ah, please, it’s too much”, but you didn’t stop, gripping his strong arms and grinding harder against him. “no, no, please, it hurts” he cried out desperately, begging you to stop bouncing on his oversensitive cock. you shook your head and pulled him closer by the collar of his shirt. you smacked your mouths together, diving in for another sloppy kiss that had jaemin weak on the knees and a moaning mess.

when you tore away from him, jaemin brought his fist to his face and bit it hard, trying equally as hard to control himself. his second orgasm of the day was coming closer and oh was it going to be strong. when it finally happened, his eyes rolled to the back, head dropping back. that was the last straw as you felt yourself coming, walls tightening and clenching around him to milk him dry, the movements of your hand becoming sloppy. he felt light-headed, slightly blacking out for a few seconds until he managed to recover his consciousness.

using his shoulders to help yourself off of him, you let him slip out of you. jaemin winced from the oversensitivity, hands quickly tucking himself inside his pants. as you fixed your ruined panties and messy hair, properly tidying up your clothes, you once again threw your bag over your shoulder. he eyed you with a disoriented look in his face, confused as to what you were doing.

he saw you turn around on your heels before walking out of the library, only your panties preventing his cum from running down your thighs. you left him there, without a single word, not even spared him a glance. you walked away from him as if you didn’t just fuck the life out of him, as if he hadn’t just gifted you his virginity, or more like as if you hadn’t just stolen it. as if all the kisses you shared and loving pet names you used on him meant nothing.

and the worst part of it all was the pang of hurt jaemin felt in his heart when realization fell down on him like a bucket of cold water.

to you, that moment meant nothing. because to you, he didn’t mean anything.

–lia:)

[thetitans-stories]

I want to make this clear, this is not my story. It was done more than 6 years ago, but the account got deactivated long before the big idiocy happening. I saved it as one of my reblogs in my own archive, however the original authors name have been lost to me. This post is in appreciation of their work. The image has been changed due to the new rules. “Hardly anyone would have even noticed. The majority of the other executives and members of the board probably would have been clueless, even. I’d always taken an interest in the technical side of things, though, not just the business side. I liked knowing what the products we developed actually did, how they actually worked. So I knew the signs to watch out for. The strange feeling of deja vu. The quick sensation of vertigo. The feeling that there’s a word on the tip of your tongue, and then it vanishes. The sensation of missing a stair, or expecting there to be one where there isn’t. All of these at once, and all lasting for less than a second, then vanishing and being forgotten. These were the most easily detected signs that someone’s using reality-altering technology nearby. And I’d experienced all three of them three times today. Figuring out what’s been changed is borderline impossible. It can be tracked down with the right equipment, but that worked on a subatomic level, measuring quantum fluctuations. You couldn’t look at something and know if it was different. You couldn’t just remember if something changed. Even if it was you. It didn’t make sense, though. Nobody could be doing this! Part of how this technology stayed stable was the split - *blink* handled software development, and QCorp produced hardware to run it. Both aspects were blindingly complicated, and both companies had extensive safeguards. If I tried using any of our software against QCorp, Laurence Dominic - their CEO - would know about it immediately. Same here - if they tried it against us, alarms would be going off everywhere. Coincidentally, there was some red light blinking on my desk, but I didn’t have to worry about that. It wasn’t important. I ignored it. There were extensive contracts promising non-interference. Government agencies were involved. There was no way QCorp would be moving against us like that, so… who could it be? Was it… um ……um… I blinked. Another one! Again, that second or two of disorientation. Something had changed. But what? It didn’t matter now. What was more important was who. There weren’t many people with access to this tech - mostly just me and Laurence. It couldn’t be Laurence. I trusted him implicitly. He had my best interests at heart. I could have complete faith in Laurence. But then who? Some sort of… rogue agent from one of our companies? It just didn’t seem possible. For someone to get their hands on all the required materials, and know how to use all of them, was just… was... ...was… Again! Dammit! I had to figure this out! Mr. Dominic was gonna be so upset. His purchase of *blink* was only going to go through if he thought it was a safe, secure company! If he knew we weren’t even able to stop our own tech from affecting us… I didn’t want to think about that. I just needed to get this figured out. God, he was going to be so disappointed in me! I hated even thinking about that. I didn’t want Mr. Dominic to be upset. I wanted him to be happy. I wanted to make him happy. I want… I want… …want… I shivered, smiling a little. Really, Mr. Dominic? Another? Ever since he bought out my company, Mr. Dominic had really grown to enjoy using altertech on me and the rest of the employees. We’d all been hesitant at first, but he’d explained it so well. “The company belongs to me,” he’d said, patient and clear, “and you are part of the company. Therefore, you belong to me. If part of the company doesn’t suit me, it’s within my purview to change it.” Some people had still argued with him, but he’d simply altered the arguments right out of them. Now everybody was happy! Honestly, I really liked when he changed me. I never knew what it was, or what was different now. The idea of him entering my mind, rewiring me, remaking me, changing me to make me the ideal employee for him - fuck. It got me wet, to be honest. It made me so… so… …so… The lights, pink and bright, lit the room I danced in. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror on the wall. Pink hair, I noticed. I wondered how long I’d had that. As a QCorp alterdoll, I never really knew things like that. I changed to suit the whims of the Master - Mr. Dominic - and his associates. I lowered myself down a bit, grinding my ass into the Master’s lap. I was privileged enough to be the doll he chose to entertain him tonight. He ran a hand up my thigh, then groped one of my tits. “See, Tom? I told you she was nothing to worry about,” the Master said to the man sitting next to him. The men chuckled. The Master spun me around. “On the floor, doll,” he ordered, and I sank to my knees. He pulled out his cock, the men around him guffawing and urging me on. I took it into my mouth, sucking him obediently. That’s what dolls like me are for, after all.”

[monocaelia]

oblivious [zhongli modern au]

[Zhongli x Reader] - Modern AU

Being the secretary of Zhongli was… a new experience, that’s for sure. If you had known you’d be doing the most random things for the CEO of Rex Lapis Co., maybe you wouldn’t have applied for the job here. 

---

Being the secretary of Zhongli was… a new experience, that’s for sure. If you had known you’d be doing the most random things for the CEO of Rex Lapis Co., maybe you wouldn’t have applied for the job here. You’ve had to do many, many, different things that no other ordinary secretaries have done before; such as going personally to Zhongli’s apartment to wake him up in time for his next scheduled meeting or even tagging along with him when he had to fly out to the United States for a business trip (although it felt more like a vacation more than anything). You’ve even had to attend the wedding of an acquaintance with Zhongli as his plus one, which was a pretty weird experience in your opinion. Some people approached you then and asked if you were a couple, to which you vehemently denied. 

You and your boss? Now, that’s a funny story.

Though… it’s not like you haven’t thought about the possibility of your boss and you being together. He was handsome, both personality wise and physically. He was tall and built, which surprised you considering you’ve never seen or heard of him working out as a hobby. Maybe it was a rich person thing to be built at all times. He was kind, extremely intelligent about a multitude of topics while at the same time being a clueless idiot when it came to social interaction. You found it endearing when he would come to you and asked questions about things that were common sense to you but foreign to him. 

He always listened to you when you guys took your breaks together and you talked about your day, what was bothering you, or what you were excited about. Which was… surprising to say the least. You didn’t expect Zhongli to pay attention to your little life when he was literally living the lavish dream that anyone wanted. He always sent your stomach cartwheeling when he laughed at one of the stories you told or when he smiled when you talked about the video game you were currently into. 

There was a moment when someone called you to help them during your break with Zhongli. They had knocked on his office door, completely interrupting the amiable atmosphere between the two of you, and politely requested your assistance, to which you agreed and bid your farewell to him. You could’ve sworn you saw him frown when you left him alone but as soon as it was there it was gone.

The thing that truly captivated you, though, were his eyes made of pure, molten gold. Although they’ve always been kind to you, you’ve seen them pierce those who talked against Zhongli or broke their promises to pay his company back. He was a stickler for promises and rules and he never took them lightly. They gleamed with danger and power when he was upset, but with you they were warm pools of honey that you could get lost in.

The multitude of random events that occurred because you were Zhongli’s secretary included the current errand you were running with your boss. The new year was coming by and Zhongli had decided that he wanted to go out and go shopping.

What for? He wouldn’t tell you.

You trailed slightly behind the taller man, making sure to not lose sight of him. You would have walked beside him so it was easier to converse but walking around with your boss was kind of intimidating and the crowd was heavier than usual. Did he really want to go shopping now of all times? You wished you were back in the safety of your own bed and not in the crowd of hundreds of people as they did last minute shopping for the New Year celebration. 

“May I hold your hand?” The question almost slipped past you had Zhongli not peered down at you, expecting an answer from you. It was so nonchalant… did he understand the implications of that between two adults? You stared at him, wide eyed and mouth open in shock. 

“U-um… Mr. Zhongli, why would we need to hold hands?” you questioned, furrowing your brows in confusion.

“I saw it in a drama I was watching. The main characters were holding hands whilst in a crowd so the two wouldn’t get separated.” Innocence danced behind his eyes. Oh Archons above, you have to stop finding this man endearing. “I thought it would be appropriate for this situation considering the amount of people around us.”

His reasoning was simple enough. It was just about not losing each other in the crowd, right? So, holding his hand shouldn’t be too bad. There was nothing behind his words and actions anyways, at least you hoped so.

Your hand slipped into his with ease, much to your surprise. Despite convincing yourself that this was just so the two of you wouldn’t get separated while on this trip together, you couldn’t help your heart thumping against your chest. His hands were gloved, but the heat still radiated off of him and warmed you up. His grip on your hand tightened when someone bumped into you and your heart nearly leapt through your chest. 

The multitude of shops you two passed went by like a blur of flashing lights and the glow of city lamps. Well... that was until you got to a certain pastry shop. You paused in your step and stared into the window displaying the desserts and felt your mouth water at the sight of them.

“Ah, so this is what you’re into,” Zhongli spoke from beside you. Ah, you forgot he was there.

“Yeah, I’m a sucker for sweet treats and this so happens to be my favorite bakery!” Your smile slowly fell. “But it’s pretty expensive so I can’t get any pastries often.”

Zhongli examined your fallen expression and furrowed his brows. He squeezed your hand once more. “Is that so…?” 

And with that Zhongli walked into the shop with you in tow. You sputtered in surprise. He wasn’t going to do anything rash like buying you a dessert right? You tried to stop him, telling him that it’s okay and that he shouldn’t spend any money on you. But your attempts were futile against the brick wall that was Zhongli. 

A cute, blue box of pastries was placed into your hands as Zhongli’s gentle smile grew on his lips. Archons… he had to stop smiling like that otherwise he could get away with anything if it involved you. You sighed and gave him a concerning look.

“Mr. Zhongli-”

“Zhongli, please. We’re not in the office, [Name],” he corrected you.

“...Zhongli, why did you buy me this? I could have done so in the next paycheck,” you queried. You held your head in your hands. “Actually… why did you pull me out today to do this? It almost feels like we’re…” You paused in your words.

“...It feels like we’re on a date, Zhongli.”

“Oh, I thought I made that clear, [Name].”

Huh? Did you hear that correctly? Is he telling you that this entire day at the shopping center was a scheme to pull you on a date? Your head snapped up to look into his amber eyes, only to be met with his curious and earnest visage. 

You narrowed your eyes at him. “Zhongli I thought I was doing this for work.”

A look of surprise ran across his face as his eyes widened at your revelation. He cleared his throat and brought a hand to his mouth. “Apologies. I thought it was clear but I see that it wasn’t.” Zhongli met your eyes. “I will make it up to you. How about we have a proper date next week?”

Your voice got stuck in your throat at his question, but shakily nodded your head. Zhongli smiled and moved to bring your hand to his lips, pressing a light kiss on your knuckles.

“Perfect. Now, shall we enjoy the rest of this evening together?”

[moldisgoodforyou]

march madness

this is dedicated to @sunnypogue​ and @oopmyheartwent-obx​ because they’re the homies and I said so 

wordcount: 2.2k

warnings: cursing, I didn’t edit this for shit, mentions of sexual situations

____

Every year, the Delt house held a March Madness bracket competition. There were cash prizes involved and it was taken extremely seriously, only significant others were also invited to participate (no hookups allowed, unless the hookup was consistent enough to stick around through the end of the tournament in April). James was in charge this year as brotherhood chair and was taking it to the next level, upping the buy-in and scheduling several watch parties throughout the month. 

When Rafe casually let it slip that he was participating, Sophie’s interest was piqued right away. They were all hanging out in his room, Sophie’s legs draped across his lap while Rafe kept a constant touch on her ankle, her calf, anything.

“Can I do it with you guys?”

“Well...” Rafe trailed off, trying to think of any excuse possible. He knew Sophie’s competitive nature to a tee and was already predicting the fight that’d come of it.

Unfortunately for him, James loved nothing more than seeing Rafe lose in the tournament every year. “Yeah, of course you can. Why not?”

Rafe winced and Sophie caught it immediately, furrowing her brow. “Yeah, Rafe, why not?”

“No reason.” He squeezed her ankle and gave her a little smile. She merely raised her eyebrows back, skeptical, and started googling on her phone, pulling up a few sites.

“What are you looking for?” Rafe asked, leaning over to see.

She quickly moved her phone out of his reach. “None of your business.”

“Sophie, c’mon.”

“Jeez, Sophie, is he always this whiny?” Colin teased and Sophie laughed, clicking her phone off. “You should know, you live with him.”

“Nah. He’s different around you. Softer.” James reached over and ruffled Rafe’s hair, causing a mini scuffle between them.

“Yeah, see, he’s always aggressive with us.” Colin pointed out.

“He could stand to be a tiny bit more aggressive with me.” Sophie mumbled under her breath with a smirk, just loud enough so only Rafe could barely make out what she said. He whipped around, eyes wide. “What did you say?”

She grinned and batted her eyelashes innocently. “Nothing. When can we fill out our brackets?”

“They’re due in three days.” James told her, handing her an extra blank bracket from his desk. Sophie accepted it with a thank you and stood, not before kissing Rafe on the cheek. “Looks like I have some work to do then.”

“It’s not that complicated, Soph, you can just pick it on, like, jersey colors or mascots or whatever.” Rafe told her carelessly. She kept up with Ohio State sports and knew the rules of the game, but didn’t really seem to care otherwise. She’d prioritize alone time in the architecture studio for big games sometimes, or study through a tailgate instead of watching the other games on air that day. What Rafe failed to remember is that she was also extraordinarily stubborn, and always determined to win.

“I’m not just going to throw my money away. I need to research.”

He laughed. “When have you ever researched before a game in your life?”

With that she flicked him in the head, scowling. “I’ve never needed to before. Have you filled yours out yet?”

Rafe went to bat her hand away a moment too late, letting out a little yelp. “Hey! No, I’m just going to fill out the day before. Let the experts help me out.” He gestured to the TV, where ESPN hosts droned on in the background. 

“Hm.” She gathered her things and Rafe leaned over, tugging at the sleeve of her jacket. “No, wait, stay. We can do it together, if you want?” 

“And let you cheat off me? Absolutely not.” She fixed him with a scrutinizing look. “Why, need someone to tell you whether the green or red team is better?”  

He laughed. “No, baby, I’m not just gonna wing it.” 

Even James could feel the annoyance radiating from Sophie in the moment and he face-palmed behind her back, anticipating her response. She frowned at Rafe, arms crossed. “So why would I just wing it?” 

“Well that’s - that’s not what I meant -” He hastily backtracked. 

“Smooth.” Colin muttered under his breath, shaking his head. She rolled her eyes. “I’m sure. Now if you’ll excuse me, darling, I have some work to do.” The pet name held absolutely no affection to it, hurled like an insult instead. 

“Darling? Huh? Sophie, I didn’t mean it like that -” Rafe started again and she leaned over, kissing him shortly to cut him off. “Sure you didn’t. When do we hand them in, James?” 

“6pm, Friday. Hard deadline.” He responded cheerfully. 

“I’ll have it to you tomorrow.” She grinned and gave them all a little wave before leaving, ignoring Rafe’s small noise of protest. It wasn’t til she had hardly stepped out of the house to walk home when she had three texts from James with individual links to stats from prior tournaments and comparisons of each team’s performances throughout the season. 

James: If Colin and I can’t knock his ass out, I’d want you to do it 

Sophie: :) I’ll accept the honor 

The next day, Rafe was entirely unbothered by Sophie’s participation in the bracket challenge, after she had reassured him that she was mainly teasing about his comments. She also knew the exact time the Bracketology show aired on ESPN, as well as the shows on other networks, and made it her mission to distract him at every opportunity possible. 

She was over again the next day while James and Colin were busy, so they had the room to themselves. Sophie had brought over her homework, like usual, and the two were just enjoying each other’s company for a while - until she noticed Rafe pull out his bracket, completely blank. “You’re not done yet?” 

“Huh? No, the ESPN show’s about to be on. Do you mind if I keep the volume low?” He reached for the remote. “That’s fine, I just have a few questions left on this.” She purposely made a show of stretching her arms high, the hem of her cropped sweater lifting just enough to show a flash of her lacy bralette. 

He stopped in his tracks, clearly eyeing her over. “Your sweater’s short.” 

She hid a smirk, giving him a confused look instead as she tugged the hem back down. “Is it?” 

“You said you have how many questions left?” Rafe tried curling his hand around her hip and pulling her close, but she swatted his hand away. “Just five, but they’re long answer.”  

“Just five.” He nodded to himself and turned the TV, remembering why he had gotten his bracket out in the first place. She kept her head down, working as she listened to the hosts’ banter for a few minutes. When they started actually getting into the bracket predictions, Sophie rolled her shoulders, then tilted her head to crack her neck. “Rafe?” 

“Mm?” He replied, half paying attention to her as he scribbled out some of the early game decisions. 

“Do you mind rubbing my shoulders? They’re killing me.”  

“Course not, c’mere.” He turned on the couch to face her, keeping the bracket and pen in his lap. 

She didn’t waste any time pulling the sweater over her head, letting it drop to the floor as she moved to sit closer to him. He laughed, loud. “What was that for?” 

Sophie glanced at him over her shoulder, moving her hair to expose her back fully. “Figured it’s easier to massage on bare skin than through a bulky knit sweater.” 

She had fully captured his attention now, and he ran a finger down her spine, grinning. “Just a shoulder rub?” She was glad to be facing away from him, unable to hide her eye roll. “Mind out of the gutter. Just a shoulder rub.” 

Rafe nodded but couldn’t resist placing a few kisses along her bare shoulder before massaging her shoulders, pressing hard. When she noticed his massage got weaker as he got more distracted by the TV, Sophie let out a breathy moan. It sounded horribly fake even to her ears, but got his attention right away. 

“Soph.” He warned. 

“Hm?” She questioned, wincing as she faced away from him, hoping she sounded innocent enough. 

Lucky for her, Rafe was pretty clueless to the motives of her game. “You can’t say just a shoulder rub then make sounds like that.” 

“Sorry, sorry.” She grinned. “I’ll be good for you.” 

“Sophie.” 

“Rafe.” She mimicked, turning back around and finally giving him an eyeful of her chest. He groaned and pulled her onto his lap immediately, hands going straight to her waist. “Sure you need to finish your homework?” 

She grinned. “How long are James and Colin gone for?” 

“Uh...” He glanced toward the door, at the TV, then at his watch. “We have an hour.” 

Sophie stood, blocking the TV, and held both her hands out. “Let’s take advantage of it then.”  

_ 

Her plan worked perfectly over the next three days, right up until the deadline for turning in the bracket. It laid forgotten on his desk while they made out on his bed, lazy kisses shared as their hands wandered. James barged in with only a single, split-second knock. “Hope you have your clothes on!” 

(They both did - they had almost been caught once and Sophie always triple checked the lock before taking her shirt off after that.) 

Rafe groaned and threw his pillow at James. “Give us a fucking warning, dude!” 

“Bracket’s due in five. You finished yet?” 

“Oh shit.” Rafe sat up immediately, glancing around for it. “No, I’ve been busy.” 

Sophie held back a smirk. “I think it’s on your desk.” 

“Did you ever finish yours, Soph?” Rafe asked as he got up to scramble for a pen. Unfortunately for him, she had taken all of them over the last few days - not a hard task, because he only owned four. 

“She turned hers in two days ago. It’s like, annotated and shit. You have four minutes now.” James tapped his watch, then decided to take pity on him and toss him a pen from his own desk. 

Rafe frowned, frantically filling out the bracket. “Annotated? With what?”  

She shrugged. “Stats to help me out.” Sophie leaned over, watching him fill out his choices. “Texas Tech is red and Purdue is gold, I think you should pick Purdue there. Gold is a fun color.” 

James snorted. “Two minutes, Cameron.” 

“Fuck, okay.” Rafe finished it quickly and handed it over, but Sophie grabbed it out of his hands first. 

“Wait, you picked Michigan to win? God, Rafe, do you have no loyalty?” She was violently offended, disbelieving of her eyes. 

“They’re a solid pick!” 

“They’re our fucking rivals!” 

He laughed and grinned, smug, as he remembered the nickname she had tried to use against him days earlier. “I’m playing to win here, darling. You didn’t seriously pick Ohio State to win, did you?” 

“I picked Villanova, thank you very little.” She narrowed her eyes at him.

“Oh.” He was surprised at her logical pick, which irked her even more. “Well, I don’t have the emotional attachment like you do here.” 

“You’d think two and a half years of school would be enough. Don’t need your parents as alumni to do that.” 

“She makes a point.” James chimed in, thoroughly entertained by the arguing, but made his way toward the door to collect other brackets. “Dude, you’ve had weeks to work on this, what happened?” 

“I don’t know, every time I’ve turned on ESPN to watch I...” He trailed off, thinking.

James shook his head and made his exit, making a point to securely shut the door behind him. 

Rafe finally put two and two together and pointed an accusing finger at Sophie. “You sabotaged me!” 

She grinned, giving herself up right away. “Yeah, what of it?” 

“That’s so low.” Rafe shook his head, scowling. 

Sophie laughed, sitting up on her knees and leaning forward to smirk at him. “Yeah? What are you gonna do about it?” 

He stood at the edge of the bed and placed both palms on her knees and slid them up her legs, leaning over her. “You don’t really think you’ll win, do you?”

“Might not, darling, but at least I’ll beat you. You screwed up on several brackets, by the way.” She met him with a kiss, nipping teasingly at his lower lip.

“Huh?” He mumbled against her lips. 

“Wichita State plays Marshall, not West Virginia, and Auburn plays Charleston. Not Clemson. So that’s already two games you’ve lost.” She grinned as he curled his fingers into her thighs and stood up on her knees to kiss him harder, locking her hands to rest behind his neck.  

“And you didn’t correct me once. I can’t believe you.” He slid one hand up to squeeze her ass, laughing when she let out a small squeak of surprise.  

“Cameron.” She tried pulling him down to the bed.

“What.” He didn’t budge, keeping a firm grip on her butt.

“Shut up and finish what you started.” 

“Yes ma’am.”

[writhingcreature]

Breathe ~ the Doctor (part 3)

A/n: Sorry that I’m fixating on this series I just? I love this idea a lot lol. Also, I know I posted this on the wrong account but it would literally be like an extra half hour of work to fix this and I am not in the MOOD so I hope y’all can forgive my idiocy lmao

Word Count: 9100+

MASTERLIST

"What are you laughing at?" Y/n demanded, his face going red at Rose's giggles which had not stopped since Y/n had walked in the room.

The blonde shook her head, thoroughly amused it seemed. "You've been around the Doctor too much!" She accused. "Since when do you wear white button up shirts? Long sleeves and collar and all."

Y/n seemed suddenly defensive. "I like it, and I made it my own. See, no jacket, and I roll my sleeves up! With a nice vest, I could pass as a business man at the end of the day, or a farmer, or whatever." He sighed, allowing himself a smile. "Everywhere we go is never we expect to be. How many times have you gone running about in something not fitting for the time we turn up at? No matter where we go, the Doctor always fits in. I thought maybe taking after him would do me some good." He shrugged. "Makes me feel more professional too."

Rose gave a short chuckle once more before letting a long breath out as she looped her arm with Y/n. Y/n didn't know what Casandra had done to their little group, but ever since the trio had parted in that hallway when Y/n had stayed behind with Chip, things had been very different between him, Rose, and the Doctor. Y/n and the Doctor had long since stopped correcting people when they were called a couple. The Doctor and Rose as well. Y/n and Rose though... they'd been friends so long. Two people teetering on an edge they both tried not to fall over, thinking the other person didn't care at all. Yet here they were, secretly in love with each other this whole time. What a pair of fools.

"Well you look good in it, I won't lie. Especially with the sleeves rolled up,"  Rose complimented.

Y/n looked at her, his face colored with amusement but also embarrassment at her kind words. "What is it with men wearing collared button ups, sleeves rolled up, that does it for so many people?"

Shrugging was as much of an answer as Y/n got from Rose, because just then the pair arrived back in the main controls room. Where they were within earshot of the Doctor. The man turned around when they entered, and stopped short when he saw Y/n. "Well you look..." Y/n blushed even harder and Rose looked between the two men before scoffing.

"Oh, you two. Tell him he looks nice Doctor, you look silly like that, not saying how you feel when everyone knows what you're thinking anyway."

The Doctor cleared his throat. "You look very nice, Y/n."

"Thank you, Doctor," Y/n replied.

Rose dropped his arm, moving further into the room to divert attention from the sudden awkwardness. It really didn't make sense. The Doctor had been romantically involved plenty of times, Y/n knew that for fact. Speaking of, Y/n had as well. The Doctor had even been married and had children. That had been ages though... perhaps he was rusty when it came to romance. Maybe it was just Y/n, who was far less experienced and completely clueless how to treat a situation where the rules were not as clear as the feelings they had for each other. They had all this energy, but no idea how to utilize it. Rose, as usual, was the one who seemed to be able to handle it. Perhaps it was that she'd been in several serious relationships, but she always directed that unspoken energy in the right direction, then let it go when it was time. She had perfect timing, actually. It was rather impressive.

"What about my outfit, Doctor? Do you think it'll do?" She asked casually.

As always, the Doctor took the opportunity to change the subject. Y/n wondered passively if things between them would have really gone anywhere without Rose. God, what would they do without her? "The late 1970's?" The Doctor thought aloud, returning Y/n's mind to what was happening now. "You'd be better off in a bin bag. Hold on, listen to this," he added in a rush to cover his rather rude comment.

Rock music began playing suddenly, and everyone's attention turned to that. "I've heard this before. My mum used to listen to it."

Rose looked at Y/n in surprise, but the Doctor knew what it meant to far too casually bring up people one had lost and not want it looked at further, so he was the one who continued the conversation to other things this time. "Ian Dury and the Blockheads," he said with a grin. "Number on in 1979! Your mum had a popular taste, Y/n."

At that Rose got rather bright, her smile so wide that you could hear it when she spoke. "You're a punk!" The Doctor began to sing, and Y/n joined him, both of them grinning at each other as they had their fun with the music. "You both are, I can't believe it. A pair of punks. You, Doctor, are specifically some old punk with a bit of rockabilly thrown in."

"Do you want to go see him?" The Doctor asked, enjoying the banter.

Leaning against one of the rails, Y/n watched the two in quiet amusement as he often did with them. They talked too much for Y/n to keep up with. He was usually at a slower pace than them, and he preferred to watch them go at it anyway. "How do you mean?" Rose asked. "In concert?"

"Well what else is the TARDIS for?" The Doctor pointed out. "Also, Y/n, don't just stand there. You need to be watching me I said, you have to learn what I'm doing and then I'll teach you why I'm doing it and what everything means. You learn by doing I know, but you have to watch first."

Y/n smirked. "Oh don't worry Doctor, I'm watching plenty."

"Oi!" The Doctor pointed a warning finger at Y/n, but his face was not angry as much as it was red like Y/n's had been before. "Behave, you."

"I think not," Y/n disregarded.

"I'm sorry are we ignoring the fact that we might go to a concert in the 1970's? How cool would that be Y/n? I bet your mum would love that."

Y/n darkened a bit. "No, my mum hated crowds. She did like the music though." It wasn't bitter, but thoughtful. The same tone the Doctor used when he talked about his old life, before the Time War. Rose had noticed how similar the men were becoming. More and more very day, and quickly too.

"You know, I can take you anywhere," the Doctor told Y/n. Anywhere in space, but also in time. In the past. We can watch all the greatest moments of history, no problem. We're not just here to fix the world, we could just learn to. Take an easy trip for once."

There was something Y/n had been wanting to see for ages. Ever since Rose had seen her dad, way back when he died and she held him. Back before the Doctor was this man who he was now. He knew he couldn't do it though. Not because he would try and save his parents - he had learned from Rose. No, he just didn't want the Doctor or Rose to see back then. He didn't want them to know. He had been curious though... For so long. He couldn't remember them much, and had forgotten their voices ages ago.

"I'd like a concert," Y/n answered. "What do you think, Rose?"

She gave a small smile, as if she'd seen Y/n's thoughts in that moment but was too polite to call him out. "Ian Durey and the Blockheads it is." The TARDIS jerked when the Doctor began to go, but that was usual. What was not usual, was when the Doctor took a hammer from under the desk and began to slam parts of the control panel with it. Needless to say, when they all landed Y/n was the first one out. He felt annoyed seeing that. Even... a little sick to his stomach. He didn't know why - he'd never been motion sick before. He thought best not to question it.

Not that he wasn't plenty distracted when he and the other two exited the TARDIS to realize they were absolutely not anywhere near a concert being set up in 1979. In fact, they were in-

"1879," the Doctor realized when they were faced with men on horses wearing red coats and cocking guns they pointed into the trio's faces. "Same difference." Y/n glared at him, but the Doctor only winked in response.

"You will explain your presence," one of the armed men demanded. "And the nakedness of this girl." Y/n smirked and as if sensing it, without looking over, Rose elbowed him. Now was not the time to be flaunting how right he had been to dress the way he had, and not the way he usually did.

When the Doctor spoke again, he had a Scottish accent on and Y/n's eyes widened in surprise. Since when could he do that? "Are we in Scotland?"

"How can you be ignorant of that?" The same man spoke again, seeming seconds away of shooting them all. Y/n wasn't concerned for himself... except he had no idea how to explain why the bullets wouldn't kill him. The more pressing matter was definitely the other two though.

The Doctor began to bullshit and Y/n felt his muscles tense. "Oh- I- I'm dazed and confused. I've been chasing this wee naked child over hill and over dale. My partner is usually the navigator, so I trust him to lead the way." The Doctor motioned to Y/n with a head tilt, then looked at Rose. "Isn't that right, you timorous beastie?" He seemed a little hesitant, and Y/n had the thought pass of how fast he'd have to move to cover both of them when the bullets began firing.

Rose only made it worst. "Och, aye. I've been... oot about aboot."

"Please stop," Y/n whispered, shaking his head. Y/n hadn't heard many Scottsmen speak, but after the Doctor's fairly believable go at it, her complete failure was even clear to him.

"Hoots, mon?" Rose tried again.

"No Y/n's right, seriously, stop," the Doctor followed up.

The man on the horse spoke again. "Will you identify yourself, sir?"

"I'm Doctor James McCrimmon from the township of Balamory," the Doctor answered, switching gears again immediately. "I have my credentials if I may?" He moved his hand toward his pocket, drawing out his psychic paper when given the go ahead. He flashed it at the man. "As you can see, a doctorate from the University of Edinburgh." He showed it around willingly, and Y/n felt quite proud of the Doctor's ability to pull off a lie. Not to those who knew him, but when it mattered at least. "I trained under Doctor Bell himself."

Suddenly a woman's voice rang out. "Let them approach."

The uniformed man hesitated. "I don't think that's wise, ma'am."

"Let them approach," the woman demanded again, this time with attitude.

Obviously he didn't want to, but the woman must have been the final say because he finally conceded with, "You will approach the carriage, and show all due deference."

So they approached. The carriage door opened and there sat an older woman who looked rather comfortable in the company of strangers. "Rose, Y/n," the Doctor began. "Might I introduce you to Her Majesty Queen Victoria, Empress of India and Defender of the Faith."

"Oh my god," Y/n whispered, eyes widening. Aliens were one thing, but someone so staple in their own history? That was what tripped Y/n up, out of all the things they'd seen. This was just too close to home. Too hard to separate and look at logically.

Rose handled it better. "Rose Tyler, ma'am," she greeted politely. "And... my apologies, for being so naked."

"I've had five daughters," the Queen dismissed. "It's nothing to me. Who's the young man on the other side of you now, who looks at me as if I've grown three heads?"

This time it was the Doctor who elbowed Y/n. "I-" Y/n cleared his throat. "Y/n, ma'am. Sorry."

She smiled, obviously enjoying herself. "No worries." Her eyes moved to the Doctor. "How about you, Doctor? Why don't you show me those credentials?" He did, handing them over. "Why didn't you say so immediately?" She seemed baffle,d and suddenly Y/n was nervous as to what she'd found. "It states clearly here that you've been appointed by the Lord Provost as my protector."

"Does it?" He looked at Y/n, who shrugged. "Yes he does," he continued, more confident. "Good. Good. Erm, then let me ask, why is Your Majesty travelling by road when there's a train all the way in Aberdeen?"

"A tree on the line," she answered smoothly.

"By accident?" The Doctor pressed.

Queen Victoria seemed to find that question tiresome. "I am the Queen of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland. Everything around me tends to be planned?"

"An assassination attempt?" The Doctor seemed to be trying to understand something that seemed trivial to Y/n, but he had long since learned to not question the Doctor.

"What seriously?" Rose seemed stunned, just as Y/n was gathering his senses, as if she'd taken it into her to give him a break. "There's people out to kill you?"

"I'm quite used to staring down the barrel of a gun," the Queen reassured, though it wasn't reassuring at all.

The man on the horse from earlier spoke again. "Sir Robert Macleish lives but ten miles hence. We've sent word ahead. He'll shelter us for tonight, then we can reach our destination in the morning."

"This Doctor and his... timorous beastie will come with us." There was humor in her eyes. "As well as the silent one." Y/n ducked his head in embarrassment. The guard, which seemed to be what the man on the horse was, accepted that and then got them all moving again. He made a comment about the coming of nightfall, and Y/n found himself pleasantly surprised when the Queen responded, "Indeed. And there are stories of wolves in these parts. Fanciful tales, intended to scare children, but good for the blood I think." She looked ahead. "Drive on."

They all began walking and Y/n felt himself get awkward with all the guards watching him and he moved closer to the Doctor, nearly reaching out to take the man's hand. And then a few guards gave him a look of startled disgust and Y/n remembered what time they were in and felt a pang in his chest. He had to pretend all over again. The Doctor and Rose could be together wherever they were - whenever - but Y/n had to restrain himself. He dropped behind at the thought, distracting the movement that had been him about to reach out as pushing hair out of his face. It didn't fool the guards who knew what he had been doing anyway, so Y/n dropped back behind the Doctor and Rose. They looked at him but he just looked away, swallowing his awkwardness.

They arrived toward evening. The Queen was helped out as the Master of the house approached. "Your Majesty," the man greeted, bowing deeply.

"Sir Robert," the Queen returned brightly. "My apologies for the emergency. And how is Lady Isobel?"

"She's..." And then he hesitated, and Y/n felt in his gut that same feeling he always got when he felt something was wrong. He found himself questioning whether the man's wife was sick, or something else entirely was going on. "Indisposed, I'm afraid. She's gone to Edinburgh for the season.." He hesitated again, and Y/n felt that same pang. This time he was quite sure something was wrong. "And she's taken the cook with her, the kitchens are barely stocked. I wouldn't blame Your Majesty if you wanted to ride on."

"Not at all," the Queen chuckled. "I've had quite enough carriage exercise, and this is charming, if rustic. It's my first visit to this house. My late husband spoke of it often, the Torchwood Estate."

At that Y/n jerked. "I'm sorry, the what Estate?" Everyone looked at him like he'd gone mad.

"Torchwood," Sir Robert answered. "It was my father's house." The Queen hadn't objected to Y/n cutting in, so the man continued. The way Y/n was looking at him, Sir Robert seemed to see that the man was thinking, and thinking was what he needed in that moment. "It's a very old house you see. Lots of dangers in the old wood. That's why my wife est you see. She's grown tired of the keep up and needed a break. Are you sure you don't want to continue?" The man looked directly into Y/n's eyes and Y/n felt his heart stop. What was he trying to tell him?

"Quite sure," Queen Victoria interrupted. "Now, shall we go inside?" Sir Robert fought a frown when he nodded, seeming to want to run away. The panic in his eyes was so clear to Y/n, he was shocked no one else could see it. Y/n couldn't interrupt the Queen again though - he'd already tested his boundary. They began to go in, Y/n's mind racing as he scanned the Estate, looking for something out of place.

Then his eyes landed on the staff. They were all bald, and staring at Y/n like they wanted to destroy him. The Doctor moved up next to Y/n. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know," Y/n responded. "Yet." Despite how he wanted to stop it, he had no reason other than his gut feeling. What was he to do but be wary if nothing else? So they went inside.

The group headed for a room with what looked to be a gigantic telescope. "And this," the Queen began. "I take it, is the famous endeavor."

"All my father's work," Sir Robert answered. "Built by his hand in his final years. It became something of an obsession. He spent his money on this, rather than caring for the house himself."

"I wish I'd met him, I like him." The Doctor was smiling and Y/n almost rolled his eyes. He'd know all about obsessions overtaking your personal life, wouldn't he? "The thing's beautiful, can I..." He motioned to the telescope.

"Help yourself," Sir Robert allowed.

Rose and the Doctor surged forward to inspect it, but Y/n hung back, slowly dawdling past the butlers who were standing too close to just be there for no reason. The others began to talk, but Y/n focused on them. "You guys follow your Master around a lot, don't you?"

The bald man in front responded. "How else are we to attend to his needs?"

Y/n shrugged. "I suppose that's fair, except didn't Sir Robert say that the kitchens were poorly staffed and understocked? Doesn't it make sense that you'd be cleaning such a large estate, or working in those kitchens which seem to need such work?"

Eyes locked hard, it seemed to be a contest to see who'd blink first. The man was obviously impressed when Y/n won, if still irritated in Y/n's pressing. "Are you disapproving of how I do my job?"

Shrugging casually, Y/n stepped past them finally. "Not my right to do so. That would be Sir Robert's right to say or not say."

"What about me now?" Sir Robert piped up.

"I was just saying that your staff hovering so much surprises me, since you were stating how the kitchens needed some help. I of course don't mean to offend or tell you how to run things, Sir Robert. I..." He hesitated, the lie coming to him too easily. "I come from a rather poor family. I don't know how things like this works, and it fascinates me."

Sir Robert was the only one who saw through the lie - other than Rose, who was paying attention closely now, cued into Y/n's habits that showed when he was suspicious about something. Sir Robert hesitated, as if considering using the excuse to dismiss the men, but then decided against it - that same fear flashing in his eyes again. "I like to have them around. With my wife gone, they keep me company."

Y/n nodded in understanding, but the two men locked eyes and Y/n knew immediately. There was something up here. It seemed too late though. He had no proof and if these men were dangerous enough to control Sir Robert so in his own house, they'd doomed themselves the second they walked in the door. Y/n had to be careful about this - especially because it seemed he's just placed a huge target on his back.

The Doctor spoke, shifting the subject. "It's a bit rubbish." Only then did they all remember the telescope. Even the Queen had been distracted, looking between Sir Robert and Y/n like she was picking up on the signals between the two men, but didn't know what they meant. "How many prisms has it got? Way too many!" The Doctor stood from where he'd been crouched to inspect the instrument before. "The magnification's over the top. That's a stupid kind of..." He turned to Rose. "Am I being rude again?"

"Yep," she confirmed, smiling.

"But it's pretty!" The Doctor continued. "Really, it's very pretty."

Y/n got distracted after that, his mind wandering as he ran through all the possibilities to try and figure out what was happening. He could talk to the Doctor later to get feedback, but he'd at least like to have some theories to throw out when the time came. They weren't aliens, surely. The Doctor seemed to be able to pick up on that sort of thing eventually. If that was the case, Y/n sure wouldn't know. What else could it be.

Someone nudged Y/n and he looked up to see Sir Robert of all people. He had reached out to touch Y/n. "You Doctor seems interested in children's stories and magic and the stars. How do you put up with him?" He was making a joke, but that's not why he had gotten Y/n's attention to tell it.

Smiling came easy. He knew Sir Robert had the answers and that he wanted to tell Y/n. All he could do for now was give hints, and that's all Y/n needed for now. "Stories, eh? I like those myself. What kind of stories."

"One about a wolf around these parts, like I told you about in the carriage," the Queen answered. The fact that Sir Roberts purposefully stayed quiet made Y/n listen more than it seemed he was supposed to. "His father and my husband were quite fond of it, and the Doctor asked him to tell it to us. I'd be lying if I said i wasn't curious myself, actually."

"It's said that-" Sir Roberts began.

"Excuse me, sir." the bald man from earlier interrupted, and when Y/n and Sir Roberts locked eyes again, Y/n looked over carefully, taking in the man, trying to pull secrets out with just a look. "Perhaps Her Majesty's party could go their rooms now. It's almost dark."

"Well that was rude," Y/n spoke up. Again all eyes were on him, and this time the Doctor and Y/n were picking up on the way Y/n and the bald man were glaring at each other, eyes locked. "The Master of the house was talking, and he was just about to tell us something very interesting. Even I wait until people are done talking, and I'm considered insolent." There was tangible tension in the room. Tension that seemed apparent only to those who could pick up on Y/n's small tells, and those who knew first hand that this was not as it appeared."

"Please forgive me, sir," the man apologized flatly. There was a threat in his voice, one that made Y/n go silent - especially when Sir Robert shot him a panicked look. "I only figured that you'd all want to rest before dinner."

Damn, that was a good excuse.

"What a lovely idea," the Queen gleefully spoke. "And some clothes for Miss Tyler, perhaps. Sir Robert, surely your wife left something behind?" The man nodded. "See to it. We shall dine at 7, and talk more of this.. wolf." At that the bald man simmered, and Y/n realized the connection. "After all, there is a full moon tonight."

Y/n's eyes widened. He had to hear this story... though, he didn't think he did have to actually.

The Doctor followed Y/n to his room. "This isn't where you'll be staying Doctor," one of the bald men said.

"I'll find it in a bit, just leave the door open. I need to find my friend." The man dressed as a butler hesitated, but couldn't find a good enough reason to stop this from happening, so he nodded and left. When the door closed behind them and they were safe from those outside, the Doctor rounded on Y/n. "What's going on in that head of yours?"

"The stories they mentioned earlier? They're true, and the men - the bald men - they're in one it. I don't think Sir Robert's wife is even gone off for some weather or old house, I think she's captured. Or dead." He shook his head. "I have no proof, only hunches and small noticings. But I'm telling you, Doctor. A wolf that only comes out on the full moon? The way the man interrupted Sir Robert from sharing the story. I think it's true, and I think it's coming after us tonight." It dawned on him then. "Or... after the Queen. No one else here alive is important, who should be here."

The Doctor considered all of this. "I believe you Y/n, I do. But we need proof, and that means we need to lay low and play innocent. You're brilliant, all you've gathered in such short time. I need you a bit longer before they try to kill you though and everything goes wrong. Do you trust me?" Y/n nodded immediately.

Rather unexpectedly, the Doctor grabbed Y/n's face and pulled him into a kiss then. He stepped backward, pressing his back to the door. Y/n kissed him back instantly, leaning into him. He hesitated, but when the Doctor kept kissing him, he found himself unable to help himself getting lost in it. His fingers threaded into the Doctor's hair and pulled their bodies closer. The Doctor's hands wandered, pulling and tugging on Y/n's shirt.

Just as quickly as it began, the kiss stopped and the Doctor was pushing him away. "Alright." The his voice was a little lower, his eyes blown just a bit. "I've been wanting to do that all day."

Y/n scoffed. "You snogged me like that to, what, blow off steam?"

The Doctor bit his lip, shaking his head before orienting his thoughts again. "I needed a reason to be in here that wouldn't incriminate us. They can suspect you know something, so you keep the attention on you. You're the diversion. While they're worried about you finding out, I'll poke around and see what I can find. They won't expect me because-"

"They'll only think you came in here to snog me," Y/n realized.

"Not a thing you can fake, the results of that. It leaves a nice touch, the blown out eyes and the... the lips." Y/n realized that the Doctor's lips were a little bit more red than usual. "Anyway, pleasure and business mix every once in a while - grand time when it does. See you at dinner."

Y/n rested his forehead on the door when the Doctor left.

What in the world was he going to do with this man?

The smile hadn't left his face when he sat down for dinner, and despite him straightening his shirt, there was still a heat to his face. The Doctor wasn't much better. The affects were missed by everyone who wasn't paying attention, but were picked up by the ones that mattered. The butlers who obviously were not butlers. And the Doctor's planned seemed to work. They immediately dismissed the Doctor and focused their attention on Y/n. He was probably in danger... not that he could die, which would hopefully be the worst thing that could happen tonight.

The man who seemed to be in charge of the bald men stepped forward, speaking as he had when he'd challenged Y/n earlier and lost. "Your companion begs an apology. Her clothing has somewhat delayed her." Y/n's heart stopped. His grip on the table turned his knuckles white.

By some miracle, the Doctor seemed as if he had no worries at all. "Oh, that's alright. Save her a wee bit of ham." Y/n's mind was racing again, his eyes focusing on Sir Robert. The man seemed to be apologetic, but not too sorrowful. Y/n was picking up on the man's emotions quickly as he watched him more and more. He only hoped he was right. Either way, it really didn't matter. Either Rose was trapped and they had time to work this out and save her, or... she was too far past saving to take risks anyway. And if Y/n left this room, he'd be doing it alone, and that would put him in line next to be carted away. The Doctor needed some help at the very least.

"Besides, we're all waiting on Sir Robert!" the Doctor exclaimed, breaking the men out of their stare and grabbing their attention again. "You promised us a tale of nightmares."

"Indeed," Victoria agreed. "Since my husband's death I find myself with more of a taste for supernatural fiction."

"You must miss him," the Doctor vocalized. It was then that Y/n thought back to the first time the Doctor lost someone. His own wife, even. The mother of his children... If anyone understood, it would be him. The Doctor understood loss better than anyone.

As if seeing that understanding in the man across from her, the Queen allowed herself a moment to be vulnerable. It was a very Y/n thing to do. Perhaps... Y/n was influencing the Doctor, the same way the Doctor was influencing Y/n. "Oh, completely." She paused, the air in the room growing heavy with emotion. "And that's the charm of a ghost story, isn't it? Not the scares and chills, that's just for children, but the hope pf some contact with the great beyond. We all want some message from that place. It's the Creator's greatest mystery that we're allowed no such consolation." Her eyes became far away and Y/n looked at his hands. What would he have left behind if he'd never become immortal? What would people leave behind with him, when their time came? That thought. The thought of realizing yet again that he was going to lose one person after the other forever... except the Doctor. They were all the other had left now. The only person they each had a chance of keeping forever. "The dead stay silent, and we must wait." Her voice grew small, and then she shook her head and switched gears to being chipper once more. "Come, begin your tale, Sir Robert. There's a chill in the air. The wind is howling. Tell us of monsters."

Under the table, Y/n let his knuckles rub against the Doctor's hand softly. In response, the brunette man turned his palm upward, allowing Y/n to interlace their fingers. Both relaxed.

"The story goes back three hundred years," Sir Robert began. "Every full moon the howling rings through the valley. Next morning, live stock is found ripped apart and d-" he cut off, that same terrified look crossing his face. "Devoured." Y/n felt his leg twitch.

The head of the guard laughed off the spook in the air by saying, "Oh, tales like this just disguise the work of thieves. Steal a sheep and blame a wolf - simple as that."

Robert was having none of that. "But sometimes a child goes missing," he insisted, pushing it to try and drive his point home. It seemed to be written off as dramatics by everyone else in the room. Everyone except Y/n who was listening intently, and the Doctor, who Y/n knew was listening even though he gave no note of it. "Once in a generation, a boy will vanish from his homestead.

Y/n knew the man holding his hand had questions, but if they were going the route of keeping attention on Y/n, Y/n had to be the one to ask. "Is there anything that tells what this thing looks like?"

"Drawings and wood carvings," Sir Robert affirmed. "And it's not merely a wolf, it's more than that. This is a man who becomes a wolf." He drove each word at Y/n, saying much more than just a story. What had he seen? Risked, to tell Y/n this?

"A werewolf," Y/n voiced, resting his elbows on the table.

"What a neat little story." The Doctor was smiling, shaking his head in the same way the head of the guard was.

"My father didn't treat it as a story," Sir Robert said, but his interest was as invested in convincing the Doctor as the bald men were worried he was someone to worry about. The plan was working, at least. "He said it was fact. He even claimed to have communed with the beast, to have learned its purpose. I should have listened."

The bald man began to move and Y/n went into protective mode. "Of course, it was your father's passion. I'm sure you miss him and wished to have listened more. Engaged with him." Sir Robert half halfheartedly nodded.

"The thing was, his work was hindered. He made enemies." This time Sir Robert focused on Y/n purposefully, eyes boring into Y/n's very soul. "There's a monastery in the Glen of St Catherine. The Brethren opposed my father's investigations."

"Perhaps they thought his work ungodly," the Queen suggested. That was when it clicked for Y/n, his eyes wandering to the bald men. The men who were monks, and who were also mumbling incoherently nonsense in a  foreign language that set Y/n's hair standing up.

"That's what I thought," Sir Robert agreed. "But now I wonder. What if they had a different reason for wanting to keep the story quiet? What if they turned from God and worshiped the wolf?"

"I think..." Y/n drawled, his hand tightening around the Doctor's. "It's time to make a new plan, Doctor. I don't think its going to do any good to play nice."

The Doctor's eyes widened. "Right." He turned around rather sharply, dropping Y/n's hand in favor of moving to his feet. They weren't getting any more information now - they had to find Rose. Chaos broke out, the Queen and the head guard trying to figure out why the Doctor and Y/n were so upset, Sir Robert apologizing because they had his wife, and the Doctor demanding to know where Rose was. There sat Y/n in the middle of it all, trying to be more productive than the confusion and the guilt and the yelling at people who were not going to respond.

"Doctor!" Y/n called, trying to knock sense into him.

The man looked over and he took a deep breath in. "Sir Robert, come on!" The three men took off down the hall. Sir Robert lead the other two to the basement, where a bunch of people were chained up and trying to pull to freedom as a werewolf grew to a dangerous form not even five feet from them.

Rose was so amazing, lord.

"Where have you been?" The blonde demanded.

"I missed you too," Y/n shot back. The joke didn't last long though, because soon they were all distracted by everyone scattering in a grab for freedom. All the women but Rose were rushed to the kitchens and the men all  but Y/n and the Doctor were armed. There was a noise and the Doctor dipped from the room for a moment only to come bolting back, grabbing Rose's hand. She grabbed Y/n's and the train pull got them all out of the room and stay together at the same time. They made it just behind the line of guns just in time for the weapons to go off as the wolf itself turned around the corner in full force.

The Doctor took charge when the thing bolted from the bullets. "All right, you men, we should retreat upstairs. Come with me."

"I'll not retreat," the ground's keeper insisted. "The battle's done. There's no creature on God's earth could survive such an assault."

"You think not?" Y/n demanded, in no mood for people to act afool. He snagged a gun from one of the men, thrusting the thing into the Doctor's hand guiding the end of the barrel to his throat. "Shoot me please, Doctor." Without hesitation, the Doctor obeyed, knowing Y/n would be okay in a few seconds. There were some startled screams and a moment of darkness as Y/n passed out only a few seconds, but then he awoke and men stood around him, stunned. "Like I said," Y/n grumbled as he stood up again. "You think not? That's what I thought, listen to the Doctor now."

Soon they were all heading their way upstairs, just in time for the halls behind them to echo with the thing's roar. "Well at least you're alive," the Doctor reminded as the ground keeper's face grew ashen pale. They ran up, Sir Robert calling the Queen. She was running down the stairs to greet them.

"What's going on?" The older woman demanded. "I heard such horrible noises."

"Ma'am, we've got to get out," Sir Robert urged. "But what of Father Angelo, is he still here?"

The woman hesitated then responded, "Captain Reynolds disposed of him." Sure.

The Doctor, who'd left the room to check the front door, returned just then to deliver only bad news. "The front door is boarded shut. Pardon me, Your Majesty, you'll have to leg it out a window." The group moved to a window, only to get shot at and have it quickly proven that windows were as much not an options as the sealed door was.

"I reckon the monkey-boys want us to stay inside," the Doctor sighed.

"Do they know who I am?" the Queen demanded.

"Yeah," Rose answered. "That's why they want you. The wolf's got you lined up for a... a biting."

The Queen was not having that. "Now stop this talk.  There can't be an actual wolf." Just then a howl broke through the house and Y/n had to bite back a laugh.

In the end, believing or not, they all took off running (after some snarky banter, but that was usual) and were all barely saved as they turned the corner and the wolf almost took them over, just in time for that head guard who Y/n realized he did not know the name of. The man tried to stay behind to give the others time to retreat, but now it was Y/n's turn not to tolerate nonsense.

"Now you listen to me," Y/n snapped with such authority that even the Queen didn't speak and payed attention. "I don't care who you are or what you've done or believe. I've got you all alive this far, and I've got plenty of witnesses that says I will do much better than you will facing down something that will absolutely kill you. Y/n ripped the gun from the man's hand. "Now go!"

"Why are you always staying behind?" Rose demanded, visibly stressed. "Just because you come back to life doesn't mean it won't hurt when that thing slices you up."

Y/n sighed. "It's my shtick, Rose, haven't you realized yet? I'm not good in stress anyway, I'm good for sacrificing myself and dealing with pain and doing the worst bits. You two are the brains, and you'll need as many hands as possible. Go."

"But-" Rose began.

"GO!" Y/n interrupted. "We can talk later."

Rose didn't listen at first. Instead she popped up on her tippy toes and caught Y/n's lips in hers. "You're an amazing man, Y/n." Y/n smiled and they finally all went, leaving Y/n behind like always to face the biggest problem on his own. It only made sense that he'd been given immortality. He was meant for this role. What he'd said had been truth, and everyone knew it. Y/n was the one who took the hardest hits because he could stand them better than anyone else. He was perhaps the only one who could stand them at all. Rose was right too, it didn't stop it from hurting, but he'd rather someone not die to spare him a bit of aching.

Everyone made it into the room, but Rose lingered, and that was why she was the one who got to watch Y/n get ripped apart. The last thing Y/n saw before the world went black and his bones snapped like twigs was the Doctor pulling Rose into the room so Y/n was out of sight.

When Y/n awoke again, he was too afraid to move in case it reawakened the memories of the last time his body had moved. When it had broken and snapped and caved in and his existence had become pain and loss. He just lay there, breathing, alone and cold in the silent darkness. He expected some kind of soreness or stiffness, but neither bothered him. His body was completely healed as if it had never once had anything wrong with it ever.

It was only when he heard a scream that he made his way to his feet, running after it to see what was wrong. As if on cue, there was Sir Robert standing with an ax or a sword or something, facing down that stupid beast. "Okay," Y/n growled, walking up. Sir Robert's eyes went wide. "Yes, I'm still alive. Now get into those doors you idiot, dying for a cause is my job!"

Sir Robert looked at Y/n, reaching out a hand to rest on his shoulder. "There is more to life than dying to protect everyone else, Y/n. You're brave, and amazing, but don't take this from me. I need to atone. I need to-" A roar echoed and the two men turned to see the wolf. Y/n stepped forward, screaming back. The wolf saw Y/n and froze, stunned.Y/n could practically see the thing recalling the memory of killing the man who stood before him now, completely fine.

"You think you will fear nothing," Y/n snarled, hunched over with his lip curled back. He looked quite wolfish himself, and the actual roof in the hallway seemed to take a step back. "Get back. GET BACK!" And by some insanity, the thing obeyed. "You're right, Robert. There is more to life than dying for a cause. You have a wife who cares about you, and I have watched far too many people die. Let me make a difference. Let me be the one who saves lives for once. Please, go inside." Sir Robert hesitated then nodded, stepping away from the door and into the adjacent hallway, out of range of the beast. There was a moment's pause where no one was sure what to do. Then the door behind Y/n opened and a hand wrapped around his arm and he was yanked back. The beast ran after him, whatever spell broken, and then-

Light.

So much light.

Y/n ended up on the ground, curled in a ball away from the light. He was so tired. He didn't ever want to move from that spot. Perhaps he could not negotiate never, but he could claim now. So he closed his eyes and did not move for a very long time. Because he was allowed that, I think. And so did everyone else.

-

When Y/n did move again, it was only to walk out of the estate and across the land they'd crossed what seemed ages ago to make his way back to the TARDIS, leaving the wrapping up to the Doctor and Rose.

He had a long time to himself in the quiet. A very long time. Far too long a time. He leaned against the control panel, hands flat on the controls, eyebrows knit together.

Finally, he spoke.

"I know you gave me his memories," Y/n told the control panel. "I know you were there when Rose was using your power. I felt you. Heard your voice. You told me his story. One that wasn't yours to tell. And now I know his life - his entire life, as if I lived it myself - and I have memories that aren't mine. That don't belong to me. How am I supposed to tell him that? How would I ever expect him to be okay with me knowing EVERYTHING? His life is clearer to me than my own." Y/n sighed, rubbing his face. "I can't die, but I can save people. I can lessen the burden he carries on his shoulders. The way he remembers each and every death and it hurts him. I took that upon myself, you know. And the wait of it all. The weight he must have, knowing that he can save one life and strand me and Rose here, or that he won't be able to save anyone's life ever again.

"Not to mention, he can die! He only regenerates when he's in the process of dying. If someone kills him before he regenerates, that's it. It's over. No more Doctor. For the first time maybe ever, it's not him who had to be afraid of losing someone because they might not live as long as him." Y/n sighed, feeling his heart fall slowly into his stomach. "Not to mention... I'm going to have to say goodbye to Rose someday, aren't I?" He looked up at the TARDIS around him, tears coming to his eyes. "How am I ever going to say goodbye to her now that we...?" His head fell forward as he sighed. After a second his hands tightened into fists as he stared at the floor under his feet. His gaze hardened. "I won't, you hear me? Not for a long time. A REALLY long time. We have so much time left together. She won't die or leave us. Not unless by choice, and I don't think she would leave if given the option. I'm going to protect her. You hear me?" He pushed off the panel, standing tall. "I don't care if I have to die every time we go out. I'm going to protect everyone."

It was a vow he would learn to regret.

-

The TARDIS door opened with two very nervous people entering the box that was bigger on the inside, expecting to see a very upset Y/n. Instead, they were greeted by a wide, brilliant smile and sparkling eyes as the man that had left in the middle of the night and spent all that time alone because Rose and the Doctor had to wrap things up with the Queen, leaned against the control panel like he knew they'd been about to enter. "You guys ready to go?"

Rose was the first one to answer. She wasn't smiling. "Y/n?"

The man turned away from her, beginning to distract himself by running his hands along the switches and buttons he wasn't completely familiar with yet. "That's my name. Where do you want to go this time, Rose? I'm sure you'd be a better person to give suggestions, Doctor, but I could shoot some ideas through history if we wanted to stay on Earth."

There was a moment of quiet where the Doctor and Rose had a silent argument before they stopped just in time for Y/n to finally turn around. "Y/n can we talk?" Rose asked gently, her smile small and soft.

Instantly Y/n was shot with terror. "Uh-" He looked at the TARDIS wall, trying to let the light make the horrible feeling in his chest go away. Had they finally decided he was useless and more a burden than anything and wanted him to go home? Was he too reckless and had upset them? Was he getting annoying, wanting to learn how to drive the TARDIS? Had he been rushing things by trying to be with both of them? Had... had they learned that they liked being together and not with him? "Talk about what?" Y/n finally asked, his gaze finally moving from the wall as he turned his back to them, trying to memorize the TARDIS so that he'd remember her as long as possible when he was gone.

Arms suddenly wrapped around his waist, looping under his arms. A face pressed to his back. He tensed, unsure of what was happening. "I love you."

Y/n was stunned. "I love you too, Rose." Her arms loosened, allowing Y/n to turn around to face, her, unsure of what was on her mind. "But?"

"But nothing," the blonde assured. "You just need to understand... losing you is terrible. And I know that you don't stay dead when you die, but- before you were immortal you were bad enough, but now you don't even try to stay alive anymore. It's really got me worried."

This was even more confusing. "I can't die, Rose."

"Do you want to?" That was the Doctor, and when Y/n looked at him, there was a look in his eyes that made Y/n feel terrible. This man had watched his whole planet and everyone he cared about die. After that, he had lost every friend and sometimes even more. The way he looked at Y/n now was not necessarily fear, because he didn't have to worry about Y/n dying. It was exhaustion. It was the face of a man who was tired watching his loved ones die.

"Of course I don't," Y/n answered honestly. Dying sucked. He hadn't had much experience with the process - the worst he'd had was last night when he'd felt his body shatter and then woken up perfectly fine and in one piece, with the memory still clear in his head. He'd felt insane, which had never happened before. None of his experiences dying had been good, and last night had shown him just how terrible it could be. It had also made him wonder... how far did this go? Could he be vaporized and still return completely fine, or if he was reduced to ashes, would he stay dead? Honestly, he didn't want to find out. Vaporizing looked painful and he didn't want that in his head. Not like he had the feeling of teeth ripping his chest and stomach into shreds ingrained in his brain with a clarity that still had him unsettled.

The Doctor pursed his lips. "Why did you?"

Y/n scoffed. "What, you're mad that I died when I did it to save all those people, knowing I would come back?"

That seemed to bother both of them. "We both watched you die last night, Y/n. In really unpleasant ways," Rose said softly, her hand stroking his chest comfortingly, as if to calm him down. He would be lying if he said it didn't work even a little. "You had the Doctor shoot you for goodness sake."

"He did it," Y/n reasoned weakly. "I-" He swallowed. "I didn't think it bothered you. I came back."

"I thought so too," the Doctor agreed. "That's why I did it." There was a short pause where the two men looked at each other, and Y/n was suddenly glad he could only see the Doctor's past feelings and thoughts, and not what was going through the Timelord's head now. "Then I watched you bleed out on that floor, and it was very real and you were very dead, and I have that memory now." He shrugged, obviously as uncomfortable with the conversation as Y/n was.

Y/n wondered absently how long Rose had taken to talk him into doing this at all.

"I'm going to be okay," Y/n reassured.

Something odd happened then. They were still looking at each other when they were hit by the same memory, almost watching it be recalled in the other person's mind. Somehow, that made it even harder to bare.

"I'm going to be okay, Dad, don't worry."

There was terror in every part of my... his body. I knew it more clearly than ever now, even though I also knew that I was seeing it from his eyes. The last time he was a dad with his kid. I was seeing it from his eyes so I knew that it was... both of our bodies, I guess. Just for a moment. For that memory, I allowed myself to make it personal. I allowed myself to become the Doctor, staring at his kid and hoping with ever fiber in his being that they would see each other again when it came time.

"We both will be." The woman smiled, hand reaching out to touch... my face. Her smile was warm and soft and compassionate. The same fear coursing through me, reflected in her eyes. They'd already lost so much. How much more could they all handle?

Y/n looked away, but he didn't miss the bewildered expression on the Doctor's face. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I just... want to be useful, I guess."

Rose's hands gripped Y/n's face, forcing the man to look at her when she spoke to him. "You don't need to be useful, Y/n. You are, don't get me wrong, but that's not why you're here. You're here because you're apart of us, and we care about you, and that is plenty enough. You're here because you chose to be here and then kept choosing to be here despite everything. THAT is the only reason you're here, do you understand me?" After a second, Y/n nodded. "I know you feel obligated to save people, just... please, you're important too. Even if you come back, it's going to start taking its toll on you eventually. Remember that."

Y/n allowed himself to relax into her touch. He looked into her eyes and saw the woman he never met. The care in her eyes matched Rose's, as much as the determination and care. They didn't really look alike, but their love was the same, as it was the same for everyone who felt it - one way or another. "Okay." He smiled, and Rose relaxed. "Is this you asking me not to die?"

Rose chuckled, shaking her head. "I never thought I'd have to ask that of you honestly." She shook her head, her hands dropping. "But no. Just... care about yourself as much as you care about other people. You're important too. That's all I'm asking. Just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should."

That was fair.

"Now," the Doctor said, drawing the attention of the other two. "We have adventuring to do. Any suggestions?" Rose and Y/n parted so Y/n could join the Doctor at the control panel. Rose leaned against the wall across from them, crossing her arms and smiling. She looked at lot happier now. Y/n realized she'd probably been terrified of seeing Y/n die again, carrying a weight with that fear that had drug her down enough that now, she felt light enough to have a bounce in her step. She recognized that it was going to happen again, but at the very least it wouldn't happen often, like it had been.

"You pick," Y/n sighed. "I think you deserve a turn."

The Doctor's face began to light up with a smile. "So be it."

-

[shinidamachu]

No Place I Would Rather Be

Summary: We're a thousand miles from comfort. We have traveled land and sea. But as long as you are with me, there's no place I'd rather be. Word Count: 3.617 Genre: fluff Fandom: InuYasha Pairing: Inukag Format: oneshot AO3 Link: 🌹 Fanfic.Net Link: 🌹

Boredom was eating him alive.

Days had passed without a single lead about the jewel fragments. So much that their little group had disbanded for the time being. Sango went back to what was left of her old village. It had been a while since she last paid homage to their dead. Kirara, of course, was her loyal company — and also ride. Miroku was visiting Mushin’s Temple, as if the place hadn't been profaned enough, already. Shippo was still around, but keeping his distance due to InuYasha’s stormy mood.

The frustration of it all got him desperately wishing for some kind — any kind — of action. Something that didn’t involve sulking under a tree and watching time crawl. Every second of this idleness meant another second Naraku was out there, still breathing. Collecting the shards was a small mean to achieve a bigger, imperative ending. It gave him purpose, a sense of getting closer to his ultimate goal step by step. Waiting got them nowhere. It only granted him to be alone with his thoughts and the combination was nothing but disastrous.

Lucky for him, his private source of distraction was not too far away.

Kagome was humming a foreign tune, the same one she liked to sing whenever she was happy. Following the melody was almost mandatory. InuYasha didn’t realize what he was doing until he arrived to the other side of it, where the girl thumbed through her hair in a futile attempt to tame her hair, the lake’s surface a natural mirror at her convenience. InuYasha made his presence known before his own reflection joined hers.

“It’s no use, ya know.”

“Jerk!”

The girl glared at him and retaliated by splashing water on his direction — of which he easily dodged. InuYasha had to admit her reaction was justified, given his past tendency to be utterly unkind to her. This time, however, although his tone wasn’t devoided of casual teasing, he was being completely honest. When you spend sunrise to sunset with someone for so long, it was inevitable learning a thing or two about them. Kagome had a wild hair. Not in a bad way, but it sure had its own will. Especially in the humidity, which was definitely the case of that afternoon. To an outside viewer, the strands could pass as straight. Noticing the shy waves at the end and how they used to stand out after getting wet was a privilege for the few allowed to look closer — a privilege InuYasha cherished. She always had her hair down and he liked that she did. It was destined to be free, to go with the wind. And it had grown a hell of a lot since they first met. The half demon wondered if Kagome was aware of how much. He certainly was.

Then she got up, revealing clothes that were undoubtedly new to his eyes. It was one piece, all lime flowers and malleable fabric against her cream skin. A bit longer than what she usually cared to wear, but leaving her arms and shoulders at plain sight in compensation. The view was thrilling, until his eyes caught the yellow backpack laying by her feet, causing his grin to falter. He understood the implication behind it, even if the question had yet to pass his lips.

“What’s with the weird kimono?”

“Oh, this.” Kagome lowered her gaze, inspecting for herself. Her combative attitude swiftly turning into a cautious posture. “It’s a sundress. I’ve been meaning to ask… can you please give me a ride to the well? I’m going home.”

There it was.

Somehow, getting his suspicions confirmed did nothing to prevent the scowl from forming on his face.

“Thought the school thing were over for the summer.”

“Well, yes...”

“Then why the fuck ya going home for? We still have plenty of supplies!”

“Because I promised I’d go to the movies with Hojo and now that we’re on vacation I don’t have excuses not to go, anymore. My grandpa literally ran out of diseases I could have. And what’s the point, anyway? Jewel hunting is going through a dry spell, everyone left… and I haven’t seen my family in weeks.”

Half of what she said didn’t make any sense to him and InuYasha positively hated the half that did.

“What if something comes up? I can’t see the damn shards like you do.” He argued.

“You jump through the well and get me.” She shrugged, as if the idea was highly unlikely. InuYasha opened his mouth to list the many, many reasons her solution was flawed. She bit him to the punch. “Listen, it’s not a big deal. I’ll be back tomorrow. I bet Miroku and Sango won’t even be here yet.”

It wasn’t fair.

In general, storming off to her era was Kagome’s way of punishing him for being a massive asshole. He got that. To tell the truth, more often than not he deserved it. But InuYasha was in his best behavior — despite feeling rightfully entitled to throw a tantrum, given the circumstances — precisely because he needed her close. He needed her to stay. Picturing Kagome hanging out with someone else instead was the worst kind of self torture. Would she change her mind if he swallowed his pride long enough to say so? Would he ever get the guts to let it out? She hadn’t invited him to come along. Was this Hojo guy really that important to her? More than InuYasha was? Trying to talk her out of it was a dangerous move. He’d put his foot in his mouth, she’d put his face on the ground. That’s what they did.

Either his expression betrayed the turmoil inside or Kagome became too good at figuring him out. Whatever it was, her smile shined, reassuring and warm.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be so quick, you won’t have time to miss me.”

“Who says I’d miss ya?” He dismissed, his indifference unconvincing even to himself.

InuYasha perceived another presence approaching. Shippo. His arrival couldn’t be more providential. Kagome had a soft spot for the brat. If anyone could get her to stay, it was him.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s just the runt.”

Like he had been announced, the kid emerged from the trees in a hurry, Kagome’s bow and quiver looking gigantic on his tiny hands.

“Kagome! InuYasha!”

“Shippo-chan! What’s going on?” She asked, as soon as the boy reached them.

“There are rumors of a jewel fragment, two villages to the west.” He explained, with the pomposity the information called for. “Kaede sent me.” His chin was up high, like the statement added a final hint of importance to the message. “Here,” continued the kit, offering Kagome her weapon in a formal manner.

She hesitated.

“Kagome, let’s go!” InuYasha was prepared to move at the sound of the word ‘jewel’, their earlier argument happily buried and forgotten.

“Wait! Don’t you think it’s strange? For days we had no leads, and now, just when we splitted up…”

“Yeah, well, so what if it’s a trap? It wouldn’t be the first.”

Coward that he was, Naraku resorted to the nastiests schemes in order to get what he wanted. His disgusting fingers laid on every happenstance that had ever caused them harm. What choice did InuYasha have, though? Ruse or not ruse, he had to check it. Regardless of anyone else’s help, it was his duty to get vengeance on the bastard — for Kikyo, for himself — and Kagome knew that.

She sighed and took the bow and arrows from the fox’s hold.

“Thank you so much, Shippo-chan! Now can you do me another favor?”

“Anything!”

“Go back to Kaede. Tell her InuYasha and I are on our way.”

“I’m not coming with you?” He whined, as confused as InuYasha. They never traveled without the child.

“That’s right. We don’t know how dangerous this may be. I need you to stay and if we don’t come back tomorrow by noon, get Miroku and Sango and send them to us. Can you do that for me?”

Shippo resolutely nodded .

“I won’t let you down, Kagome.”

“I know you won’t.”

And through the same path he had appeared he went. Kagome fixed a pleading glance at InuYasha.

“Can I at least change clothes before we g—”

“No time to waste.” He said, grabbing Kagome and her bag to leap towards west.

Kagome was whistling that same song again.

It took him an enormous amount of self restraint not to whistle along.

He was happy. So wonderfully happy. It was astonishing, the effect that tiny, bossy human girl had over his humor. The fact they were following the possible whereabouts of a lost jewel piece also played a role on his attitude swing, there was no denying that. But even if this turns out to be nothing at all, it would be a small price to pay in exchange of spending more time with her.

“Weren’t you mad about not coming home just now?”

His curiosity was genuine. Kagome had been angry since they left and InuYasha would be the person to know. She had two kind of anger. The one he could hear and the one he could feel. Even though she had been unusually silent, her frustration was palpable at first. Mercifully, it seemed to fade away the more ground they covered. Her one complaint was the soreness that too many hours on the same position inflicted upon the muscles, which was why they were both walking. As a rule, he was strictly opposite to anything that might slow them down, and the human pace was unbearable once you had a taste of demonic speed. Running free, with trees and people alike turning into a blur on each side of him, was an unparalleled sensation, amplified tenfold whenever Kagome was riding his back. He didn’t regret giving in, though. They weren’t far from their destination, after all. In addition, her comfort came to be a priority, despite him still being unaware as to when or how.

“Well… yeah, but… what can I do, right? Besides, I haven’t realized how much I missed this.”

Clueless, InuYasha searched their surroundings, unsuccessfully intending to spot what she could possibly be referring to.

“Whatcha talkin’ about?”

“This!” She spinned around, open arms and face to the sky, chasing daylight like a sunflower, the movement bringing her garment to life. “You. Me. An adventure. Don’t get me wrong, I love Shippo and the others, I’m glad they joined us. It just feels like we haven’t had as much quality time together as we used to, after they did.”

“Y-you miss that?”

She shook her head up and down with enthusiasm and a content smile fought its way across his lips.

“I know we could hang out in Kaede’s village, but it’s not the same as going out. O-on a trip, I mean.”

Although InuYasha couldn’t make out why her cheeks were suddenly burning red, he did see the logic her reasoning, and the feeling was mutual. There was a certain level of closeness only the road could provide. No curious eyes. No sly comments. No need to explain themselves. InuYasha had missed that as well.

He often played with the thought of stealing her away, of placate his selfish thirst for her undivided attention. Not once had he imagined Kagome would be as eager to go as he was to take her. Regardless, the timing wasn’t right. It never was. From the moment they met, they were tossed into a mission and there was hardly space for anything else. So he settled for whatever he could get until it was over.

“Why would you miss those trips? It ain’t like I was nice to ya back then.”

It didn’t make sense to him that she would. His memories were of a spoiled little girl, complaining about the bugs and her aching legs and the fact she hadn’t bathed in days. There was no escaping InuYasha’s share of responsibility on the issue. He could have made her life easier, had he bothered to. But at the beginning he saw Kagome as a potential threat he would eventually get rid off. How could he have guessed, after the many betrayals he had endured through the years, that his heart would be safe on her hands?

Kagome limited herself to a shrug.

“You are now.” She stated, as if it made up for his unexcusable former behavior. Her unconditional forgiveness amazed him, no matter how regularly she had shown it to him. “Also, it feels like old times.”

“It doesn’t unless you get kidnapped, somehow.”

“It happened once or twice!”

“Keh! Stop kidding yourself.”

“Shut up.”

“You shut up.”

“No, shut up. I’m sensing a shard and it’s moving away.”

Wordlessly, InuYasha returned the backpack to her and offered her his back.

They raced at full gallop, Kagome guiding their course. The forest transitioned into arid highland, where dirt, thorns and rocky surfaces took place.

“Hey, you!” Kagome yelled at the youkai emerging in their camp of vision. Their target. Over his shoulder, the startled creature sneaked a peek at them and increased speed. Growling, InuYasha matched his rhythm. “Wait up! We won’t hurt you.”

“I’m pretty sure Imma hurt him.”

“Give the jewel fragment to us peacefully and you’ll be free to go!” She went on, his snide remarks as ignored by her as her plead was by the demon. InuYasha’s patience was wearing thin. Now that the rumors turned out to be true, his focus was entirely aimed at the task at hand.

“Are those fancy arrows of yours just for show?”

Kagome let out a deep breath. Shooting was her last ressource. She preferred to sort things out with words first. It rarely worked. Still she always tried.

“I suppose we have no choice.”

The arrow hit the creature in the calf and his groan of pain reverberated through the field. Not lethal, but enough of a nuisance to make him drop the run. InuYasha closed the distance between them within seconds. Kagome climbed off him and together they inspected their opponent.

On the floor, a possum demon hissed and exhibited his fangs at them, his ugly face twisting in agony while he pulled the arrow out. A cascate of blood immediately flowed from the wound. InuYasha was not fooled by it. Being a full youkai, he would be healed soon.

“Where is it?” InuYasha asked Kagome, not daring to leave the bastard out of his sight.

“His belly.”

“Step away, you filthy half breed!”

“Excuse me?” Kagome defied, any trace of courtesy forgotten.

“That was quite the damage she did on ya, there.” InuYasha released Tessaiga from its sheath as he approached the fallen man. “Think I can top it, though.”

“Step away, I said!”

His fear was palpable. InuYasha could feel it. See it. Smell it.

Smell it.

Faster than realization, the odor filled his lungs. It burned his nostrils, his throat. He could taste the toxic substance on his tongue. It was unbearable. And gasping for air only resulted in the pungent scent flooding him further, overwhelming his senses. A defense mechanism, he thought, his vision blurring, his knees giving in. I’m going to faint. No. No, no, no, no, no. Kagome. He had to protect Kagome.

There was a cry of his name.

And then an awful lot of darkness.

InuYasha came to abruptly, uncertain and alarmed by the new reality.

In one minute, the sun was up and he was succumbing, his consciousness leaving him to drift. In the next, he was awake and crickets sang the night’s arrival.

It was tempting to think he had dreamt the whole thing. A stupid, ridiculous, crazy ass dream. However, the lingering smell left no room for argument. It happened. The scent was weaker. Fading. But was there, overpowered by a significantly nicer aroma. A familiar one, sweet on the nose and soothing to the soul. Kagome’s.

He was lying half naked in her sleeping bag.

Sitting up, InuYasha seeked for the priestess, desperate to make sure for himself she was safe and sound.

The fragile light of her modern lantern illuminated the cavern that sheltered them. At its entrance, a girl rested — her silhouette contoured by a starry sky. 

“Kagome.”

“You’re awake!”

She rushed to him, tripping over her own eagerness. Her beautiful clothes were dirty and a bit ripped at the hem. A small scratch cut her cheek, remnants of dry blood tainting her skin.

“Are you alright? What happened?”

“I’m fine!” Kagome kneeled in front of him, a gesture he appreciated. There was no peace for him without an up close inspection of her well being. “I purified the demon after you blacked out. Turns out it was a trap. Thousands of Naraku’s second-class demons came for the shard when I took him down. I tried to purify those too, but more of them kept coming and I ran out of arrows, so I casted a barrier and—”

“You casted a barrier?”

InuYasha was beyond impressed. Barriers required great power and discipline. Even from Kaede or the monk. Kagome had apparently done it all by herself. Effortlessly. On the spot.

“To be honest, I don’t know how I did it. I just… I saw you lying there and I… anyway, the barrier purified the ones who touched it. Eventually they all died or left. How are you feeling?”

InuYasha didn’t answer the question.

“I’m sorry, Kagome, that you couldn’t rely on me.”

Guilt pulsed within him like a heartbeat. Constant and compulsory, expanding the outcomes of its work through every inch of his body.

“It’s not your fault. Your nose is too keen, of course you’d be affected the most.”

“But you got hurt!”

“In the thorns. I was careless. Don’t worry about it, it’s not even going to leave a scar.”

“It shouldn’t have even happened. I’m supposed be the one protecting you, not the other way around.”

It could have been worse. InuYasha should be grateful for that. He wasn’t. It could have been worse. And he wouldn’t be able to help her, to save her from this insignificant peril while she had already saved him in every conceivable way there was for a person to be saved.

“I’m not as helpless as I used to be, you know? I’ve grown a lot.” She had a point. InuYasha himself had told her that much, once. Kagome had faced scarier dangers than that. And she could absolutely take them. But he didn’t want her to have to. “Not to mention, it was totally worth it.”

As a proof, she exhibited a jewel fragment, glowing in the healthiest shade of pink.

“You got it!” InuYasha captured the shard, glancing at every angle of it in awe.

“Don’t act so surprised.”

Kagome went for her backpack and came back, falling on her knees again. Her hand dove in and emerged holding the glass container in which they kept the other pieces. She opened it and tilted the receiver to InuYasha, hinting for him to do the honors.

It was as if she had been waiting for him so they could do it together.

As if it was their private, sacred ritual.

He did as she wanted, mirroring her satisfied smile.

“Where’s my haori?”

“Oh! I… I put it away.” Blushing, Kagome tore her gaze from his and InuYasha followed it to a corner of the cave, where a huddle of scarlet fabric laid forgotten. “I figured you’d heal faster with that smell gone and your haori is soaked on it. Sorry.”

“D-don’t apologize, stupid. It was the right call.” To feel useful — and to occupy his brain with something other than the image of Kagome undressing him — InuYasha searched her backpack for the first aid kit, a tool from her era he was sadly too intimate with. “Now let’s take care of this cut.”

“Okay. You have to g—”

“I know what to do. I’ve seen you do it a thousand times.” Her lips parted, and InuYasha added: “Don’t act so surprised.”

He cleaned the wound with cotton, water and soap, then used a different ball of cotton to carefully apply the content of a smelly little bottle to the extension of it. Kagome hissed, but he ignored it in favor of wrapping it all up with a band-aid. To ensure it was properly stretched, he gently ran his thumb through it, allowing the touch to linger more than necessary and his stare to go from her cheek to her eyes.

Her eyes.

The most stunning maze.

Let yourself get in, you are sure to get lost.

She blinked before he could, keeping them closed and leaning into his palm, her hand lifting to cover and caress his.

It would be so easy to grip her chin. To turn her face to him. To bring her to his lips. 

So easy to steal a kiss.

Why do the easiest actions have to carry the most difficult consequences?

Clearing his throat, InuYasha transformed present into a loving memory.

“Take some rest. We leave first thing tomorrow.”

“Sounds good to me.”

On the way to claim Kagome’s prior guarding position by the entrance of the cave, InuYasha collected Tessaiga while she busied herself with getting cozy inside the sleeping bag.

“Kagome?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

“InuYasha, I think we’re way past saying thank you for saving each other’s lives.”

“No, not for that. I mean, for that too, but... for coming. For staying by my side.”

“Stupid.” She mocked him, her voice lethargic as exhaustion finally caught up to her. “Where else would I be?”

A/N: this was some serious self indulgent bullshit. I regret nothing.

@inukag-week​ here is another piece of contribution. Kind of merged the Loyalty and the Instinct prompts here. Oops.

[the--blackdahlia]

It’s So Easy (And Other Lies) Chapter 12

Title: It’s So Easy (And Other Lies) Chapter 12

Summary: Stevie Adler likes Duff McKagan. She has for a while now, but she is convinced Duff doesn’t like her that way. Duff likes Stevie, but so does their new bandmate Axl Rose.

Chapter Warnings: Smut (18+ Please), language

AN: Thank you for all the feedback!

This went on for about a month of the tour. Duff and Stevie would sneak off for dates and alone time, and Axl acted completely clueless. He didn’t see any difference between before and after they had started dating. Everyone in Motley Crue knew, and Izzy and Slash knew, but Axl had no idea.

And that made it so much more fun for the couple.

“I’m seriously surprised he has no idea,” Stevie told Duff as they got ready for the show. “I mean, I thought he saw you kissing me last night. And you sure as hell didn’t do that a few months ago.”

“Yeah, but I really should’ve,” Duff laughed and pulled her in for a kiss. Stevie leaned into it for a moment before realizing they had a show to do.

“Babe, you keep that up and we won’t make it to the stage,” Stevie laughed, pulling back to adjust her tank top.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Duff chuckled. He wrapped his arms around her and pressed against her. “We are a rock band. We can be a little late.” He placed kisses on her neck, hoping to convince her to let them be a few minutes, or well, several minutes, late.

“Yeah, but if we’re late, you can’t see what I picked up today in town,” Stevie moaned softly, letting her eyes slip closed at the feeling of his lips on her neck.

“Oh? Something for me?” Duff asked, smiling against her skin. He had a million things going through his mind at what she could have bought, and he really wanted to see what she got.

“Not if you keep this up,” She teased. “Because if we’re late getting out there, we’ll be late getting back to the hotel, and I just might be too tired to show you.” She pulled back from him to give him that smile that always made him putty in her hands.

“You tease,” Duff laughed a little as he watched her. He leaned in and kissed her again. “I love you though.”

“I love you too,” She smiled. She picked up her drumsticks and spun it. Duff couldn’t stop watching her as she did.

“God I’m really glad Tommy taught you how to do that,” Duff told her. “It’s so sexy when you do it.”

“You think everything I do is sexy,” She laughed. Duff shrugged.

“What can I say? You’re sexy and I love it,” He tried to kiss her again, but she ducked away and headed down the hallway with a laugh. She met up with Slash and Axl while Izzy walked up to Duff. He hadn’t seen Duff this happy in awhile.

“What’s with the big smile?” Izzy asked, watching the bassist. Duff looked over at him, the smile never wavering from his face.

“Mark my words Iz, I’m going to marry that woman,” Duff clapped him on the shoulder before following after the others, Izzy following right along behind him.

****

Guns n’ Roses got back to their hotel around thirty minutes after their set ended. In the gap between theirs ending and Motley Crue’s starting, the bad boys of Hollywood wanted to do shots and other shenanigans with the other band. Once they got back, Axl, Slash, and Izzy were ready to go back out and party, but Duff lied about having things to do, and Stevie told them she was tired. Axl missed the wink that Stevie gave to Duff.

“You two are losers,” Axl laughed. “Come on Stevie. Don’t you wanna hit a club or two with me?” He batted his eyes at her.

“Maybe later Axl,” She smiled at him. Axl frowned in return.

“Are you mad at me or something?” He asked. Stevie looked at Duff, Slash, and Izzy, confused. The other three shrugged.

“Not anymore than normal,” Stevie shrugged. “Why?”

“You didn’t call me Red,” He had grown fond of the nickname and it threw him off when she didn’t use it. She only didn’t use it when she was pissed off at him.

“See, I’m tired,” She told him. “Next city, we’ll go out okay?” She smiled at him and headed towards her room. Duff slipped into his when Axl turned around to look at the rest of the band.

“Fine. We’ll have fun without them,” Axl nodded, trying to hide the fact that this was bugging him so bad. “Let’s go.” Slash, Axl, and Izzy left then, leaving Duff and Stevie up to their own devices. Stevie gave it a few minutes while she changed into what she had picked up. It was a blue satin teddy with lace in all the right places. She looked at herself in the mirror, hoping that Duff would like it. She grabbed the hotel robe and wrapped it around herself. She peeked out into the hallway and heard it quiet. She walked over towards Duff’s room and knocked gently. Duff opened the door and smiled.

“Nice robe,” He laughed as she walked in. “Is that what you bought today?” He eyes her as she walked into the room.

“Maybe?” She smirked at him and shut the door. “Or maybe it was this.” She pulled the belt on her robe and let it fall to the ground, showing her blue teddy. Duff’s mouth hung open as he stared at her. “So, what do you think?”

“My god baby,” Duff pulled her to him, fingers trailing over the satin. “Totally worth being on time for the concert.”

“Yeah?” She asked, watching him. Duff started kissing on her neck, being rewarded with those noises he loved.

“Fuck yea,” Duff moaned into her neck, feeling the smooth satin under his fingers. “Need you baby.” Stevie leaned up for a kiss, pressing herself against Duff. Duff deepened the kiss, before pulling back to admire how gorgeous Stevie was. She smiled up at him, staring into his beautiful eyes.

“You just gonna stare all...” She was cut off by Duff tossing her on his bed. She laughed as she landed on the mattress.

“Not just gonna stare babe, trust me.” Duff promised, pulling off his clothes and joining her on the bed. He crawled between her legs and pulled her down the bed before ducking under the pale blue nighty and licking a stripe along her dripping folds.

“Oh, Duff,” Stevie moaned grabbing a handful of his blond locks. Duff took the opportunity to lick and suck at her clit, slipping two fingers into her and rubbing them along her g-spot. Stevie’s legs were trembling as she came on his tongue and fingers. Duff always insisted on making her come at least once from just the foreplay, which drove her out of her mind, when what she needed was him buried in her. Duff waited for her to start coming down before ramping up again with his mouth and fingers making her come screaming again.

“Enough, Duff, I need you in me, please,” Stevie begged causing Duff to groan and lean back taking in the gorgeous site in front of him. Stevie’s flushed chest was heaving under the satin and lace, her eyes lidded and lips red and puffy from biting them. She looked like a goddess spread out for him.

“Damn baby, you look...you look so fucking good like this,” he moaned. Stevie reached for him pulling him to her and wrapping her legs around his waist.

“Come on, babe, I wanna feel you splitting me in two,” Stevie teased, rolling her hips against his, spurring him to action. Duff leaned back and lined up before slowly sliding home. Stevie’s back arching as he came flush with her. “Shit, it always feels like the first time no matter how often we do this.” she panted, legs wrapped around Duff’s hips, urging him on.

Duff began rolling his hips, setting up a smooth, hard rhythm dragging orgasm after orgasm from Stevie, before finally tipping over himself and coming with the groan of her name.

Afterwards, they laid tangled together, Duff running his fingers over the silky satin.

“I love you so much Stevie.”

Stevie snuggled into Duff’s side replied, “I love you Duff, more than you’ll ever know.”

****

Axl was up early the next morning despite wanting to stay asleep. He really didn’t know why he was awake, but he knew one other person that would be up too. Stevie was usually an early riser, or early by rockstar standards. And since she had went to sleep at such an early hour, he just knew that she would be awake. He got up and pulled on some clothes before heading down to Stevie’s room.

“Stevie?” Axl knocked when he got to her room. When Stevie had left to go to Duff’s room the night before, she didn’t get her room all the way latched and the door opened. Axl poked his head into the room, expecting to see Stevie curled up in bed watching TV or something.

But instead, her bed was perfectly made and she was nowhere to be seen.

“Stevie?” Axl looked around the room, but it was obvious that she wasn’t there. She had been acting weird for the past few months, and now she was missing. Axl was starting to think she was getting involved in something that she shouldn’t be.

Axl backed out of Stevie’s room and headed down the hallway to Duff’s. While the boys always had to knock before entering Stevie’s room, they never really enforced that rule with each other. So Axl opened Duff’s door and headed in.

“Hey Duff, I can’t find Stevie and I…” Axl stopped dead in his tracks.

Because there on Duff’s bed, wearing just a t-shirt and watching the morning news while eating a bowl of fruit, was Stevie. She stared at the frontman and he stared back. The bathroom door opened then, steam coming out before Duff walked out in just a towel.

“Hey babe, I thought we could go see some sights before we leave,” Duff told her, not even noticing Axl standing there until Stevie didn’t answer him. He looked up and saw Axl standing there, staring at his girlfriend. “What are you doing in my room?”

“What is she doing in your room?” Axl asked, finally turning his eyes in Duff’s direction.

“Dude, she hasn’t slept in her room in months,” Duff laughed. Axl looked confused. His sleep deprived and hungover brain was not processing what Duff was saying.

“But, what if you want to bring a girl back? Or she wants to bring a guy?”

“Axl, I’ve only came back to the hotel with one guy for a few months now,” Stevie told him, shaking her head. She really thought he had it all figured out by now, but she was wrong.

“Wait...you’re not dating Tommy?” Axl asked, looking from Duff to Stevie. Stevie’s eyes widened and she had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing. Her and Tommy…

“You thought I was dating Tommy?” Stevie asked, looking at Duff.

“Dude, Stevie and I are dating,” Duff explained. Axl just stood there, staring at them. The t-shirt was too big on Stevie, hanging off of one of her shoulders. There, Axl could see hickies. He saw clothes on the floor. He looked back at them.

“Axl?” Stevie asked. “Red, are you okay?”

“I gotta go,” With that, he rushed out of the room, letting the door slam behind him. Stevie looked at Duff and he could see the tears filling up. He quickly sat by her and pulled her into his side.

“Just let him cool off,” Duff told her. “It’s not like we’re doing anything wrong.”

“I know, I just...even Motley Crue are happy for us,” She sighed. “It’s okay though.”

“Hey,” He tilted her head to look up at him. “I still love you.”

“I love you too Duff.”

****

Later that afternoon, Stevie was dressed in a Jack Daniels t-shirt that she had cut off into a tank top and a pair of black leggings. She headed out towards the pool when a familiar head of red hair with a bandanna caught her eye. She sat on the lounge chair next to him. There was a bit of silence before Stevie spoke up.

“Hey Axl,” She spoke softly. He glanced over at her behind the dark sunglasses he was wearing. “You okay?”

“I’m great,” He mumbled, sipping his drink he had gotten before heading out to the pool. “Where’s Duff?”

“Him, Slash, and Izzy were going to go do something. I think get us lunch,” She told him. Things fell quiet between them again. “So…”

“You and Duff huh?” He asked. Stevie nodded, waiting for him to blow up. “Kinda surprised it didn’t happen before now, if I’m gonna be honest.”

“Yeah well, we both give the blonde stereotype a run for its money,” Stevie laughed. Axl chuckled and Stevie’s smile brightened.

“So, where do we go now?” Axl was actually facing her now, instead of side eyeing her from behind his sunglasses.

“Well, I mean, we’re still bandmates,” She explained. “And, with Duff being my boyfriend, I still have a spot for a best friend, if you’re interested… ”

“As long as you don’t make me hang out with Vince, I’m cool with it,” Axl smiled.

“But I thought you loved hanging out with Vince,”

“I hate you,”

“You love me,” She laid back on her lounge chair. The pair joked around and teased each other for a little bit before they were joined by Slash, Izzy, and Duff, who came bearing gifts of food. They all settled down to eat some tacos together. Duff noticed a change in Axl’s mood. He seemed happier than he had a few hours prior. Duff was about to say something when someone cut him off. A man that had been checking Stevie out across the pool had come over to try his luck with her.

“Hey there sexy thing, why don’t you come over here and sit with my friends,” A man said to Stevie. She rolled her eyes.

“Not interested,” Stevie blew him off, returning to her conversation with Izzy.

“Come on angel, flash us a smile.” The guy laughed. Stevie ignored him, continuing to talk with Izzy. “You know, you’d be prettier if you smiled,” He told her. Duff was about to say something, but before he could, Axl was in the man’s face.

“Leave her alone,” Axl hissed. “She’s not interested.”

“Who are you? Her bodyguard?” The guy laughed. He was a bit taller than Axl. He looked the frontman up and down with an amused grin on his face. “She needs to invest in a new one then.”

The rest of the band was ready to jump into action to beat the shit out of this asshole, but before anyone could do anything, Axl was tackling the guy and they were falling into the pool.

“Holy shit!” Slash jumped up as the lifeguard at the pool called for hotel security. Together, Izzy and Slash pulled Axl out of the pool, who was struggling to get away from them. Axl was pissed and he meant business. The guy stared at him from where he was floating in the pool.

“You’re a fucking psycho!” The man screamed.

“No means no asshole! She told you she wasn’t interested in your ugly face!” Axl screeched back. Izzy and Slash took him into the hotel as security came out to see what was going on, Duff and Stevie following them. The two guitarists didn’t let the frontman go until they were on their floor. Axl pushed back his soaked hair as Stevie walked up to him.

“Red,” She hugged him. “Thank you.”

“No one fucks with my band,” He told her, returning the hug. Stevie pulled back and smiled before going to stand by Duff. He wrapped an arm around her, letting her fit against his side like she was meant to be.

Duff knew that if he wasn’t around, Stevie was safe. Axl, Izzy, and Slash would not let anything happen to her.

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It’s So Easy Tags: @str4nge-haze​ @viralwolf02​

[out-of-context-charlie]

(this is the first fic i have ever published so like it is totally self-indulgent and probably garbage but whatever here we are)

It was a rainy day in Dragon City. 

On the darkened sidewalk, a pair of expensive shoes walked with purpose under a dark blue umbrella. Anybody else stupid enough to be out in the downpour steered clear of the man wearing them, hiding within their overcoats and hats to avoid his piercing glare. Eventually he stopped at a clunky brownstone at the edge of town. He looked up at it and then back down at the scrawl on the piece of paper in his hand to make sure he had the right place.

Zhao Yunlan wished he had not given up smoking. There was a certain beauty to watching smoke rise and curl in the dark gray light that a storm cast into his office. The sucker did not offer the same satisfaction and only added to his boredom. 

He looked absently at his scuffed shoes propped up on the desk, streaking mud over the various “important” documents he was supposed to be going over. Under his heel was yet another letter from his father cursing him out for getting fired from the DCPD, or rather quitting in an extravagant fashion. He caused quite the scandal, the only son of Police Commissioner Zhao blowing the whistle on a cover-up involving a dirty cop.

Now here Zhao Yunlan sat in a converted shoe factory, the chief of his own dysfunctional precinct. Alongside him was a ratty bunch of investigators: one convict, a runaway, a crackpot scientist, and a street urchin who believed he could talk to cats. His secretaries couldn’t even read for shit. Some days he thought the only one qualified to be in this line of work was Old Li, the janitor. Not to mention taking cases for whatever street scum needed a favor that day.

There had been a whole host of characters who’d crawled through his door and if they could pay, he would shine their shoes. Like yesterday, he had finished up a case involving a prize fighter wanting to expose a murderous boss. Then he also had the better clients, like the businessman whose daughter and her fiance went missing. He paid well, even if the culprit mysteriously disappeared.

“Old Zhao!” Da Qing crashed through the door, looking as clueless and alarmed as usual. 

Zhao Yunlan pulled the sucker out of his mouth with a smack and waved it at him. “Speak.”

Da Qing stood up straighter and attempted to smooth down his shirt but only succeeded in getting more dirt on it. He cleared his throat. “Ah, there’s someone here. A very well-dressed someone who says he needs urgent help.” And to add to Zhao Yulan’s headache, he winked.

Zhao Yunlan rolled his eyes. A few years ago, Da Qing began talking in code to make the clients feel more at ease, or to make the department itself look more interesting and mysterious. The only one in said department who humored him was Old Li, but that was just because the old man felt parental toward him. “So somebody very rich is very desperate, got it. Just send him in.”

With a pout, Da Qing retreated through the door and Zhao Yunlan slid his feet off the desk and half-heartedly put the cluttered papers into a stack. Normally he would just leave it since seeing the disorganization put people at ease. But if the client was higher class then it was actually the complete opposite. The more it looked organized and official, the more they felt they were not stooping down to another level. Then again, it was also very fun to watch a man in a suit squirm. 

The door opened again and a man walked through it. This time, Zhao Yunlan was the one squirming. 

Instead of some fat, sweaty businessman, the client standing before him was incredibly handsome. A professionally tailed blue pinstripe clung to a tall frame, accenting the rigid muscles beneath. He wore a matching fedora low on his head and round glasses that glinted in the low light. 

The client moved respectfully to the side, clasping his hands in front of him as Da Qing stumbled in. “Old Zhao, this is Professor Shen Wei. Professor, Detective -- ah, ex-detective -- I, mean.” He paused and collected his bearings. He started again, calmly. “Professor, Zhao Yunlan. He is the leader around here.” 

A professor? That was a new one. Zhao Yunlan popped the sucker back in his mouth and looked at Da Qing. “You can leave now, Fatty. Also, tell Zhu Hong that if I don’t have the files on the Crow murders by two today, I'll break her legs.” Da Qing nodded and backed out quickly. When the door closed, Zhao Yunlan gestured to the seat in front of him. “Professor Shen, please sit down.”

Shen Wei cleared his throat and sat down neatly, placing his hat on the table in front of him. “Is it really appropriate to call your subordinate ‘Fatty?” He asked in a smooth, deep voice that made Zhao Yunlan momentarily forget he was supposed to be a professional PI.

“If you saw how much it costs to feed him, you’d know that ‘Fatty’ is being extremely generous. But we are not here to talk about him..” Said Zhao Yunlan quickly, leaning back in his chair. He schooled his face into the usual business casual (slightly annoyed yet still charismatic) and waved a finger at him. “You have a problem, Professor Shen. Tell me.”

Shen Wei’s lips tightened into what may have been considered an attempt to smile and he folded his hands neatly in his lap. “I heard that you are who to call when you need somebody found.”

Zhao Yunlan grinned. “I have been known to catch a stray or two, yes.”

“Do you know of a girl by the name of Li Qian?”

“Mm. Nineteen year old female found dead at the docks two nights ago.”

“She was one of my brightest students.” The professor's jaw clenched and a shadow passed over his eyes. “She took care of her grandmother, the owner of a store known for priceless antiques. One of which Li Qian wore around her neck everywhere she went. There-”

Zhao Yunlan interrupted him with a large sigh and put his hands behind his head. “Professor Shen, as much as I love listening to you speak, you really came down here to talk to me about a suicide? Or you did. In that case, I’ve solved it!” He suddenly leaned forward and threw his arms out. “Li Qian was the killer.”

The shadow flickered again and Shen Wei looked like he was biting his tongue. “Please do not joke about her death, Detective.” Even though his face remained passive, there was a large amount of venom in his words.

“Ex-detective, actually.” Zhao Yunlan corrected him. “But like I said, those at the scene ruled it a suicide. She drowned.”

“I know that.” Professor Shen pushed up his glasses and shifted slightly. “I talked to the police myself and asked about the circumstances. Those circumstances make me believe they made the wrong call.”

“You think she was murdered?”

Although he had not been at the scene, Zhao Yunlan still had friends in the department who would occasionally let him peek at cases. The girl was found in the harbor with sea water in her lungs. Not a scrap of evidence suggesting otherwise. As far as he could tell, the poor kid flung herself off one of the bridges and ended up there for the fisherman to find. 

“Why?” Zhao Yunlan asked, cocking his head.

Shen Wei pushed up his glasses again. “Her necklace was missing. Zhao Yunlan, this is not an arbitrary fact. Her grandmother is extremely ill and does not have access to proper care, so she does not have much time left. Not once did I see my student without that necklace around her neck. She clung to it like it was a piece of her soul and I’m fairly certain if she did plan on killing herself, she would have had it with her. Also being such a valuable piece, I’m sure if a criminal saw a vulnerable young woman walking down the street in the dead of night, they would also see an opportunity.”

His words made Zhao Yunlan pause. When he still worked at the DCPD, he did plenty of interrogations. Most criminals were so nervous they were practically wetting their pants, but others were as calm as Shen Wei in front of him. He was not accusing the professor of anything yet. However, the darkness hiding behind the man’s dark brown eyes suggested he knew more than he was letting on to. In any case, his detective senses were alive and alert.

“So you are asking me to find the necklace and bring in the people you believe murdered her?” 

Shen Wei shook his head. “I am asking you to assist me in my own investigation.”

Zhao Yunlan sucked in a breath. “Ah, with all due respect, professor. I do not assist. I catch criminals with the assistance of others. Plus, this is really not a job for academics such as yourself. 

The professor eyed him and reached into his suit. Zhao Yunlan’s eyes bugged when a large stack of cash made an appearance. He hastily began counting the bills all while Shen Wei watched him intently. “Is this enough?”

Humming, Zhao Yunlan moved his head from side-to-side. “I might need something else.”

“Name your price.”

Zhao Yunlan grinned. “Smile for me?”

To his pleasure, Shen Wei’s face became a deep shade of red. Zhao Yunlan laughed and waved his hand dismissively. “Ah, I’m kidding! I’ll make you smile on my own eventually.”

Shen Wei’s lips tightened again and he dropped his head. “We shall see.”

Zhao Yunlan’s heart fluttered. “Challenge accepted, my dear professor Shen.” He grabbed his pistol from underneath his desk. He set it on the table next to the cash and smiled widely up at Shen Wei.

“Now, let’s go find that girl’s necklace.”

[bugaboowritings]

We Fall in Autumn- Chloé’s Path To Redemption

I love the idea that Chloé took up Ladybug’s advice on bettering herself and helping Paris. Here (setting is a few more years later in canon) Chloé has an internship at City Hall. Trying to manage paperwork and school is a little challenging, but what’s more heartbreaking is the discord going on over the Miraculous Duo. 

Could it cause another Akuma that Paris can’t handle or will Chloé need to step up and protect her heroes? All when knowing who they are under the mask. 

Part Two to this- (Still understable if you don’t read it)

The world could survive without a Queen ruling over it.  Maybe even thrive and prosper without one. 

Nevertheless, Paris,  France, Europe - Possibly the whole world would be up in flames without a ladybug and a black cat by its side. Forgetting how to breathe if one day they just disappeared. 

Unfortunately, they didn’t know how much they need them before they did disappear. 

Not disappear like thinning out into nothingness as if they were a cloud of smoke with a blink of an eye and a gush of wind. More like gradually fall like the orange and brown leaves on the sessile oak or sweet chestnut tree. Die-off as the wind sweeps them off their skinny branches. In the beginning, the autumn breeze seems to carry nothing. However, piles of lifeless leaves will gather on the edges of the street and sidewalks. Only to be noticed by someone out of the blue. Only once autumn has already set the weather to a different course, someone will say-

   “Oh, it’s fall.” Or "Oh, they're really gone now." 

The heroes can easily dust off the city’s ignorance like how a tree still appears lush and full even when some leaves droop and die. Yet with time, they are destined to wither away. Becoming drained as people throw insults, threats, assumptions (as if it's a game of skipping stones)- overlooking how much they really need the protectors of Paris.  Ladybug will grow too anxious to sleep or breathe. Her old habits will return after losing them a few years back. She'll bite her nails and leak self-doubt into her words. Believing she did something wrong to cause this. She'll try to pacify the city. To convince them to listen to reason. Explaining their situation with Hawkmoth while the citizens grow impatient thanks to the opinions of internet hermits. Publishing mediocre articles about conspiracies theories against the Miraculous Duo. Chat Noir, who never mind much about the press before, forces himself to bite his tongue when outlandish headlines targeted naive readers (adding more fuel to the anti-Miraculous party). Turning what was once an escape into another glass enclosure. Noticing that everything great in his life has its drawbacks. 

The city will then be divided. 

One side wants the miraculous out and away of France. Returned back to whatever temple, planet or alley they came from. Others, mostly victims of Hawkmoth's plans, will disagree. However, their numbers decrease with time.  

Politicians will form scripts for their answers on election night, calculating what’s the best answer. All in hopes to get more voters than the other side.

-

“Should the superheroes stay?” 

Chloé memorized the way her father studied the crowd. After years spent perfecting his dramatic pause, he effortlessly appeared like a man with a strong sense of dedication and quick answers. Not like the total people pleaser, he is really. Performing with a strong voice and stern expression as if he wasn’t searching the crowd for a clue on what they wanted to hear. Hiding the fact that sometimes he was completely clueless. 

Then he just fucking said it. After all the years and amazing rescues, he still had the guts to say it. 

“It’s time for Paris to step up.” 

Bullshit. Who gonna fights a magical super-villain other than the magical superheroes?

“It’s time for Paris to handle this dilemma as it happens on our soil.” 

The police couldn’t handle an angry squirrel. 

“We thank the heroes for their time and efforts, but it’s not necessary. They will not have to continue. Paris can protect itself by itself.  The heroes need to step down, they have done their duties. We have an astonishing police force with trained brave men and women that can handle the duty of protecting our city.

“Those kids can leave it to the professors now.” 

 Mylene had to pull Chloé back to prevent her from slaughtering her dad. Both knowing very well that she could easily push Mylene off and jump on that stage if she didn't have an ounce of self-respect. Spitting out a tangent on how they don’t know what they’re saying. How dare they talk as if Ladybug and Chat Noir were just involved citizens in community service rather than champions of the whole nation. As if they weren't a buffer that stopped a monster from taking over. 

Yet, Chloé saved the fireball in her throat for later. Getting angry on live-tv would be horrible for her father’s campaign. Plus, a mess to deal with. Especially since she manages the media division. The last thing they need right now is another scandal and a rude hashtag flowing around. 

Instead of biting his head off at that exact moment, she settled for his pale complexion when his eyes laid on her. Startling the goosebumps on his arms and neck as her polished designer heels tapped the floor in an impatience manner. The same way her mother did whenever a problem arises from her dad's incompetence.

"Did I say something wrong?" 

Chloé huffed. Spinning her heel into the other direction. 

--

The media was eating up the whole Miraculous debate. As if it was grease in fast food or cheap drugs, they just kept pumping it out. 

Headlines grew more absurd as more copies were sold. Just with headlines with “Ladybug” or “Chat Noir” was an instant seller. This back and forth grew to be an overused gag that some grew tired or fond of.  Akuma attacks were no longer the center of the news, but why Ladybug and Chat Noir took so long to handle it or how it could have gone better. 

 Chloé walked through the plaza with her fresh-brewed coffee and shades over her sky-blue eyes every morning on her way to work. Around the time the newspaper-stands restocked their goods about people asserting their problems and opinions with the incoming elections. She would ignore them but the fonts grew bigger and bigger with each issue. She fantasied about buying them all and burn them as a statement. However, burning trees or funding the editors of this journalism trash wasn’t her agenda. 

Anyways, she didn't need to read about their exclusives. She already knew the truth (too long of a story to tell). 

Killing her each and every day like the hot coffee she spilled on her legs during early mornings or the heels that split her ankles in half during clubbing nights. That little inconvenience that pinned her up into a tight spot. Creating a soft spot on her conscience. 

Brave Ladybug lurked behind a counter in her parent’s bakery. Charming Chat Noir practiced piano surrounded by reminders from his father's assistant. The most hidden people in Paris were the people the stood in the front lines. Stopping angry akumatized girlfriends from tearing down homes or a pigeon man from trapping the city. 

Chloé knew their struggles or at least she knew how to dig a little to spot them. Marinette grew confident when her shiny new earrings arrived. Her eyes didn’t shy away from others when she spoke or laughed. Even making a little niche in the atmosphere for herself that no one could replace. Believing in herself, yet her stomach still flipped with anxiousness when she spoke to her crush. Picking her fingernails during Akuma alerts, itching for a chance to jump into action. Adrien won an escape and could now breathe without restrictions but still held himself back. Not wanting to trouble anyone with his newfound secret freedom. However, that doesn't stop his 'energy' from dripping into his stuffed schedule. Daring to sneak out and maybe even ditch his bodyguard for the sake of staying a moment longer. Bouncing back with a reason or excuse when he got caught. Holding back the "cat has eight more lives" line for a special bug if she asks about his weekend. 

Chloé saw back in lycee (with the help of her side-eye), the glitter in their eyes when talking about their partner in the mask. Praising them as any  REGULAR admirer would. Only to quickly panicked when someone mentioned them in the mask. Panicking even more when asked why they were sweating bullets. 

This isn’t what the reporters were getting.

 They wrote about selfish and cocky celebrities that seem no way close to the real thing that inspired the fictitious newspaper columns. That four-eyed blogger could write better news in her sleep then the “professors”. 

Chloé was even tempted to call Daddy and roar out that they need a full-on ban their stands. Yet, she was crossing the line with censorship of the press and other political stuff that Chloé didn’t want to deal with. She wasn’t that desperate, yet. 

Yet.

Till then, her nose will keep scrunching up at the sight of those foul magazines and the end of her pens will get chewed out in frustration. Mylene packs extra for Chloé when they accompany the mayor during his conferences in their internship. Sabrina, at one point, asked if she needed a chew toy after seeing all the bite marks. As a joke, of course. 

POINT IS, it’s utterly ridiculous how those journalists work. Heck, if they really did their job or were remotely good at it, they wouldn’t be in a clickbait war. They would uncover Ladybug and Chat Noir spotting during the night. Catching them on their patrol or even when they find someone in need. 

Chloé would be the first to read a story like that. Maybe even provide herself as a potential interview for a story. Drawing back memories of late-night Akuma attacks or just snips of her encounters with the red bug and black cat. 

One that Chloé reminisces fondly is the night she saw Ladybug perched on the Effiel tower. The same night in her suite, when Chloé coated her face with a mud mask. Sweeping the blonde hairs over her ears before they dried into her face mask. The only sound around was the soft buzz of her television behind her. Deflating her lungs quickly when she heard a zip and a blur of red. Launching herself to her bedstand to check the news. 

The red Akuma alert wasn't on her screen and Chloé didn't have her Queen Bee light on. . . 

Rushing off to her balcony to see what was going on. Hoping it's just a false alarm or one of her patrols. Unlocking the balcony door, not expecting a chilly breeze blowing across her room. Her hands ran up and down her arms for warmth. Ignoring the tug on her face as her mud mask dried quicker with the wind. Catching the sunset glare as it shined its last bit of light before the night sunk in. 

There, the most eye-catching red, Ladybug stood on the tip of the Effiel tower. The clouds around her faded into the lovely shade of lilac and orange. Her eyes pointing in one direction as the wind blew in the other. Chloé could have been sure it was another patrol but Ladybug was alone. No alert was given. Chat Noir nowhere in sight and no signs of him rushing to the scene. 

Ladybug just watched Paris. 

 Paris as the citizens got ready to pull the sheets over their heads and call it a night. As the sun slipped away and the famous streetlights were lit again. 

Paris was going to sleep. Nothing exciting.  

Yet, Ladybug watched it. 

Marinette Dupian-Cheng watched over it.

Standing on the edge of what seemed like air and nothingness. Rebelling against gravity as it wanted to pull her so strongly down. Yet, Ladybug stood there. 

Watching Paris. 

Ladybug took a big breath in. Her chest rising in one big motion. All before she took the leap. Throwing her yo-yo back. Twirling around the steel tower as she flew. Just like a ladybug. A long cheer followed the heroine as she had the biggest smile on her face. Chloé knows because even with the harsh streetlights and dimming atmosphere, she could swear it lit up the sky. Just like how the sun did a few minutes ago. 

Chloé forgot how to breathe at the moment. Watching the superhero flip and spin in the air as if she was a feather. Like a fairy jumping in the wind without trouble. Making Chloé miss the feeling of spandex and the mask as she stood outside in her pj’s while Ladybug jumped from building to building. 

Chloé sighed into her elbow as the peck of red disappeared from the sky. 'She’s probably going home to do homework.' Marinette seemed like the type to do homework before she yawns and slips into bed. Maybe her kwami told her to go to bed if the clock hit a certain time. Maybe her kwami would talk to Marinette till she drifted off to sleep.  Chloé suddenly felt a little lonely.  Wishing Pollen was here to snuggle up against her cheek.

When Chloé found out about the miraculous duo’s identities, it changed a lot of things for her. It’s tough to keep it hush-hush as Marinette bumbled bad excuses on why she’s late. Adrien’s shy smile seems fake knowing how a joke and smirk could easily curl out his lips. Marinette’s leadership was as sharp as the bug in battle. Adrien’s playful nature had the same heart as the cat in the leather suit.

Knowing their identities also made it harder for Chloé to watch the press tear them apart from their beloved Paris- and from each other. 

Chloé thought that if it got bad enough, the heroes would end up getting akumatized. But she'll never say it out loud. 

 Overhearing Alya mumbling to Nino during lunch about the same worry. Even dropping details from reports of late-night patrols going on in the city. Ladybug pulled out more hours from her sleep to work. Chat Noir tried to stop her, begging her to take a break. Only joining her in the end when she proves to be more stubborn with the less sleep she got. 

Even making what was going to be the most exciting and anxious moment for their careers, a nightmare to go through. Chloé, Rena Rouge, and Carapace don’t much of the details, but an identity-reveal happened at the wrong moment with the worst timing. 

So when Ladybug and Chat Noir was put out of commission for some time due to secret business, Chloé wasn’t surprised to see a little black box in her balcony that week. Hidden in the same spot as last time. Only this time with a note. Asking her if she was ready to protect  Paris from the flames when the saviors couldn't. Ready for her to say the magic words the moment her beloved little Pollen popped out with their greeting. 

France can thrive without a Queen, but never without it's Bee. 

Jumping over buildings and bridges to reach the Effiel Tower. With a fox and turtle waiting for her arrival. 

[nsfwviolets]

hello everyone !! my name is ally & i hail from the est timezone. i really should be studying for my exam tomorrow or at least trying to get some rest but here i am !! i don’t think anything has really changed about vi but everything you need to know about her is under the cut !! & like always, please like this post so i could bother you for plots !!

❛ new york’s very own violet lennox was spotted on broadway street in jimmy choo thigh high boots. your resemblance to taylor hill is unreal. according to tmz, you just had your twenty-third birthday bash. while living in new york, you’ve been labeled as being avaricious, but also enticing. i guess being a gemini explains that. three things that would paint a better picture of you would be elongated limbs tangled in pink silk sheets, the lingering smell of yves saint laurent mon paris, & oversized faux fur coats draping sun kissed shoulders  ( cisfemale & she/her ) + ( ally, 21, she/her, est )

basics ;;

full name:  violet ( soft & sweet ) faith ( unquestioning belief and complete trust in god ) lennox ( northern irish / scottish last name ).

nicknames: vi, v.

age: twenty-three.

birthday: 18 june 1996.

zodiac: gemini.

gender: cisfemale.

pronouns: she / her / hers.

sexual orientation: bisexual.

nationality: american.

hometown: aspen, colorado.

parents: diane galindo ( brooke shields ) & richard lennox ( rob lowe ).

siblings: older sister.

pet(s): one year old miniature labradoodle named tate.

religion: roman catholic.

height: 5′10.

occupation: victoria’s secret angel / instagram model / socialite.

positive traits: honest, loyal, passionate, responsible, authentic, affectionate, reliable, kindhearted, & courageous.

negative traits: loud, manipulative, stubborn, materialistic, selfish, abrasive, hypocritical, insecure, & dramatic.

hobbies: shopping, audrey hepburn movie marathons, traveling, being the center of attention, photography, spontaneous dance parties, working out, massages, doodling, pilates, online shopping, & journaling.

habits: interrupting someone mid sentence, excessive hair tucking, shoulder rolling, lip biting, & impatiently tapping her heels or acrylic nails when she is at a loss for words & or annoyed.

labels: the vixen & the babydoll.

aesthetics: silk dresses, lip gloss, the deafening sound of designer heels making contact with marble floors, lipstick stained coffee mugs, matte nail polish, glitter, diamonds, snow days, satin sheets, impulsive shopping sprees, romantic comedy binge watches, ocean waves, lolita, bright lights, day drinking, champagne for breakfast, iced matcha, lingerie as outerwear, yves saint laurent mon paris perfume sprayed on the nape of her neck & her decolletage, lavender oil, acrylic nails, snow blanketing trees, hardwood mahogany floors, hgtv reruns, vintage chanel, pretty in pink, rose gold accents, bubble baths after a long day, half naked pictures, & rose water.

style inspo: taylor hill, kylie jenner, candice swanepoel, josephine skriver, kendall jenner, blair waldorf, & cher horowitz. here are just a few examples of her wardrobe !! ( x x x x x ) muse inspo: brooke davis ( one tree hill ), cher horowitz ( clueless ), blair waldorf ( gossip girl ), gabrielle solis ( desperate housewives ), lydia martin ( teen wolf ), fallon carrington ( dynasty ), sadie saxton ( awkward ), lauren cooper ( faking it ), mini mcguinness ( skins ), holly golightly ( breakfast at tiffany’s ), maddy perez ( euphoria ), brooke maddox ( scream ), samantha jones ( sex & the city ), tahani al jamil ( the good place ), jackie burkhart ( that ‘70s show ), naomi clark ( 90210 ), cece parekh ( new girl ), cassie howard ( euphoria ), madison montgomery ( american horror story ), jenna maroney ( 30 rock ), kelly kapoor ( the office ), elle woods ( legally blonde ), rachel green ( friends ), paris hilton, & mona-lisa saperstein ( parks & recreation ).

background ;;

violet faith lennox is diane galindo’s & richard lennox’s youngest child. born three weeks early on 18 june 1996 at aspen valley hospital in aspen, colorado. the very moment they held their daughter ( who they lovingly referred to as a ‘ blessing ‘ ) in their open arms, they knew that their family was finally complete.

her mother ( diane ) is her parents’ pride & joy. as the eldest daughter of wealthy wall street executives, she has done nothing but make her family proud her entire life. growing up, her dream in life was to help her father’s business but her career quickly changed course when she decided to pursue a career in medicine. the new york native eventually ended up going to harvard medical school in boston, massachusetts where she would end up meeting her future husband. to this day, dr. galindo is one of the most recognizable names in medicine & is world renowned for her work as a reproductive endocrinologist ( fertility specialist ).

her father on the other hand ( richard ) was born to an influential family in los angeles, california. from an early age, he was exposed to the spotlight due to the fact that his own father was governor of california & hoped to become president one day. however, things seemed to go off course the day the former governor was caught in his own cheating scandal all while being married to a former pageant queen. scandal erupted when the politician not only cheated on his stunning wife with a young secretary but when his mistress announced to the world that she was pregnant. the entire news circuit covered this affair for months & the governor resigned from his position when news broke that he urged his mistress to get an abortion.

following the scandal, the family fell out of the public spotlight. they spent years trying to repaint their public image after it was tarnished for nothing but selfish desire. approximately ten years later, the family made news again but this time about their newly found faith in god joining the long list of religious right wing politicians. richard’s father felt as if the only way to redeem himself was to devote himself to god. after years of distancing themselves from the catholic church, the family dove right back in which became the start of their fundamental catholic values that ruled every aspect of their lives.

as the only son in the family, richard’s parents had high expectations for him. however, he seemed to have different plans for himself that didn’t involve making his family proud or practicing what they preached. as an undergraduate student at yale, his interests were far & few between. his days only seemed to consist of sleeping with random women & binge drinking to his heart’s content. he knew that he didn’t have to be an astounding student because he had a giant trust fund waiting for him at home. but after a drunk driving accident that resulted in a 40 year old woman’s hospitalization & his own arrest, richard knew he had to clean up his act.

he eventually followed his family’s lead & became an ultra religious catholic. he even managed to boost up his grades & get an academic scholarship to harvard law school where he met diane. diane didn’t come from a strong religious background. in fact, she liked to tell people that she only believed in science & didn’t have faith or trust in a superior figure. but when she met a young richard lennox, her entire world was turned upside down. she let him into her life, converted to catholicism, & the two got married after three years of dating. flash forward to 1992. the married couple is moving to aspen, colorado for diane’s new job at an upscale hospital. they even received a generous check from richard’s parents to buy a mansion in the mountains !!

life for the couple in colorado was serene. they eventually welcomed their first child into the world ( a daughter ) & a few months later, their families moved to help them raise their children. both diane & richard always wanted a big family due to their catholic faith. they both agreed they would stop after 6 kids, however, their minds were quickly changed when she became pregnant with violet.

her pregnancy was extremely difficult to say the least. between being on bed rest for months & frequent hospitalizations, she didn’t know if she could do this again. on top of her own health issues, she also had problems with her unborn child. there was even a night where they thought they would lose violet after diane experienced unexplainable bleeding & her fellow colleagues at the hospital couldn’t detect a heartbeat.

luckily, they were able to find a heartbeat after 6 minutes of deafening silence & hushed prayers for a miracle. after that night, they knew that their daughter was a blessing which is why they agreed to give her the middle name faith which symbolizes their unrequited devotion to god.

eventually, violet was born !! she was born three weeks early & spent a week in the icu but overall she was healthy. she was a bit underweight but she was miraculously healthy. but after everything the family had been through, they decided that violet would be their last child.

as a child, violet did every thing her parents had asked of her. their faith played a large role in her upbringing which is why she spent every sunday inside of church.

by the time she was 8 years old, her family decided to move to new york city due to the fact that her mom received a prestigious job on the upper east side. at the age of 8, violet was already a competitive gymnast who’s likes included spending time with her family, competing, & going to school. even then she knew she could do everything she loved in another state which is why she didn’t put up much of a fight when she was told that they would be moving across the country.

moving from snowy open colorado to the upper east side of manhattan was definitely a culture shock for violet even at an early age. nonetheless, she eventually got used to new york city life & to this day she doesn’t think she would survive a week in colorado.

even after she moved to a new part of the country, violet remained devoted to gymnastics & her family. she had dreams of one day going to the olympics for gymnastics & everyone who knew her saw her potential. she even competed in world events & became a household name !! although, her parents often emphasized that school & religion come first which is why they made her & her sister attend a private catholic school all the way through high school.

in high school, she was a classic goody two shoes church girl. she was a strong student who received perfect grades in order to please her parents. for the longest time, she didn’t have time for anything other than school & sports but that changed by the time she was 16.

despite attending an all girls school, violet met her first boyfriend through one of her mutual friends. & like all stereotypical teen romances, it was love at first site. she was so infatuated with him that she was willing to put everything in her life on the back burner in order to focus on him.

& by the time she was 18, she received numerous academic & sports scholarships to prestigious colleges. however, violet decided to take a gap year in order to spend more time with her boyfriend of two years. she knew that she would eventually go to college but she wanted to make some time for herself first. her parents weren’t exactly happy about her decision due to the fact that she has big shoes to fill but they eventually came around the idea & were even happy for their daughter & her wholesome catholic boyfriend.

during her gap year, they spent an entire year traveling the world. they went to bali, greece, peru, brazil, iceland, dubai, thailand, argentina, & morocco. throughout the course of the year, violet documented her travel on her instagram & other social media platforms which is when she started gaining a lot of followers who wanted to watch her travel the world with the love of her life. before her influx of instagram followers, not a lot of people outside the world of gymnastics knew who she was. people of course knew who her parents were ( a famous doctor & lawyer ) but the world did not really know who exactly violet lennox was.

by the end of her gap year violet already had over 1 million followers on instagram !! & she was already getting paid doing what she loves which is travel the world. & since all of this happened during her year off, violet ended up telling her parents that she didn’t want to go to college which damaged their relationship as a result.

since her parents were so unsupportive of her decision to not go to college & ultimately quit gymnastics, violet ended up moving out of her house & moved in with her boyfriend at only the age of 19. & because her parents were completely unsupportive of her decision not to attend college, they cut her off financially & she was forced to make a living for herself. by this point, her career as a social media influencer was booming so she was already making a lot of money just through promoting detox teas, teeth whitening kits, etc.

it may seem as if life for violet was perfect by this point despite her falling out with her parents. however, that was not the case. even though she fooled the entire world by thinking that she had a perfect relationship, her boyfriend was incredibly abusive towards her & had been ever since the two started dating. although he was never physically abusive, he was mentally, emotionally, & verbally abusive. for years violet made excuses for him & blamed herself for their problems which only made her feel more miserable than she already was. this was her first real relationship & she genuinely thought that they were destined to be together even though she was severely unhappy.

he would constantly cheat, manipulate her, make fun of her appearance & insecurities, & wouldn’t let her do anything without his permission. the two were together for three years & there even was a time where violet became pregnant but quickly had an abortion without him knowing as soon as she found out. just three months after living together, she finally found the courage to break up with him. although it wasn’t easy at first, she’s thankful that she finally got out of a dangerous relationship. she also understands the dangers of social media better than anyone else because she fooled the world into thinking that she was in a happy loving relationship when that was far from the truth.

when violet told the world about their breakup ( most likely in an instagram live or an instagram story ) she ended up losing millions of followers. the majority of her followers only followed her to watch her travel the world with her boyfriend so once they found out that they were no longer together ; they didn’t see the point in following her anymore.

for an entire year following her breakup, violet began to spiral out of control. she started using drugs, alcohol, & partying as coping mechanisms in order to help her move on & forget about everything she had endured. that of course didn’t work but that didn’t stop her from partying every single night of the week & ending up in a stranger’s bed. eventually, she even leaked her own sex tape & naked pictures to the press in hopes that the press coverage would help make up for the millions of followers she lost on instagram.

& as she expected, the world would not stop talking about her sex tape for months. she gained the most followers she has ever done & eventually she got real modeling jobs as a result of her popularity. she hasn’t exactly told the world that she was the one who leaked the 20 minute video but everyone in their immediate circle knows she did it & also knows that she has other videos lying around for ‘ emergency ’ situations.

however, her parents cut off all contact with her following her scandal & it is still something that cuts deep two years later. she tells herself & everyone around her that she doesn’t need a family but everyone knows that’s a lie. it’s just a lie she keeps on telling herself to feel better about herself.

violet managed to clean up her act & went from being a social media influencer to an actual model. many people don’t respect her name due to her troubling past with her sex tape & being an instagram model but that doesn’t seem to stop her. she has been featured in the love advent calendar, the victoria’s secret fashion show, & many fashion weeks since then.

she became the youngest victoria’s secret angel at the age of 20 !!

she is also the youngest global ambassador for lancôme & ralph lauren !!

although she has become more of an actual model rather an instagram model, she still stays loyal to her social media platforms which is why she has over 100 million followers.

she lives a happy life after being so unhappy for so long but she still seeks her parents approval even though they have no contact with her.

personality ;;

for someone who is incredibly smart, she pretends to be dumb sometimes. she doesn’t think that guys like smart girls so she dumbs herself down. but she could also be a ditz at times ( unintentionally ).

she likes to think of herself as approachable but she also knows that she can be intimidating. nonetheless, she tries to be nice to everyone who comes her way unless they say the wrong thing to her & then she switches on her mean girl switch that comes far too easy for her.

even though violet is a lot to deal with, she is a nice person !! although she does have a flair for the dramatics & denies being dramatic all the time. she also likes to think of herself as a ‘ good girl ’ even though she is far from one. she loves sex & isn’t afraid to shy away from that but she still tells people that she’s good or an angel because it makes herself feel better about herself.

she also goes to confession 1-2 times a week to pray for her sins in order to get into heaven. she thinks with the amount of adultery she commits on a daily basis she needs to pray for her sins otherwise she won’t go to heaven & she thinks she looks way better in white than in red.

if you do her wrong, she will go out of her way to make your life a living hell. she is incredibly protective over the people in her life so she will do just about anything for them including berating people. revenge might as well be her last name !!

she may be loud and unnecessary at times but she is kind hearted and does mean well. even if she does have a bad way of showing it at times.

miscellaneous ;;

since she comes from a strict traditional upbringing, she was taught that being anything other than straight is wrong. so when violet first started experimenting with girls & even developed feelings for one, she told herself that she was going to hell. this is one of the reasons why she has not come out of the closet or has even come to terms with her sexuality. she denies all past same sex encounters & relationships which isn’t healthy. but since her parents disowned her following her sex tape, she knows that they would hate her more than they already do. if they ever found out that their daughter was anything but straight they would lose their minds & she’s still hoping that one day they could repair their relationship. apparently being bisexual is worse than having a sex tape !!

when she was a competitive gymnast for the united states national team, she was often put on strict diets in order to keep up. as a result of the strict dieting & unrealistic body images, violet developed bulimia as early as 12 years old. so when she quit gymnastics after deciding not to attend college, she was happy. she loved the sport but hated the pressure. even to this day, the sport isn’t actually sure what happened to her because she was an olympic hopeful. they all thought that she could have been the next gold medalist but she values her own mental health & sanity over a couple of medals. & even though she sought help for her eating disorder that reared ugly heads at times, she did slip up a lot while she was with her boyfriend who would make fun of her appearance. even now she isn’t 100% but she is better than she has ever been.

is extremely flirty & alluring.

violet also believes that the world revolves around her. many people may find her confidence to be annoying or superficial but she takes pride in it because it took her so long to learn how to love herself after being with her first boyfriend.

speaking of relationships, she’s terrible at them. she often runs away when things become too serious, manipulates the people she’s with, or breaks up with them for no reason. her logic is that she wants to hurt someone before they have the chance to hurt her. she still has yet to understand that the rest of the world isn’t like her ex but her past still haunts her every time she catches feelings.

she likes to tell people that monogamy isn’t the life for her which is why she prefers casual sex. she is also a proud sugar baby & has many sugar daddies !! most of them are old & married but she is a sucker for anyone who buys her nice things.

also has an instagram account for her dog !!

her most used emojis in her phone are the halo, the suggestive face, & the pink glitter heart.

she’s a gemini which means that she is expressive, quick-witted, sociable, and affectionate.

her favorite tv show is gossip girl.

her favorite movie is the notebook.

has a passion for photography but hasn’t explored it seriously. she understands that she makes a living off of being another pretty face but she also wants to explore other aspects of her career like photography & maybe even acting.

she often considers going to college or even going back to gymnastics a lot but she not made up her mind yet. she is happy right now as a model but she does miss aspects of her old life.as an instagram model, she is like kendall jenner or gigi hadid. in other words, she has a large following & people book her for photo shoots & fashion shows in order to boost their own notoriety because it looks better on their part. her walk is average at best but she does have a beautiful face. people hate instagram models working in the real modeling business as it is so they despise an instagram model with a sex tape !!

she lives in a townhouse in chelsea that has been featured in architectural digest twice. her home is filled with hardwood floors, marble, gold accents, & constantly smells like lavender.

the last concert she went to was lana del rey.

the last song she listened to was everybody loves you by charlotte lawrence.

the last show she binge watched was you.

the last movie that made her cry was tangled.

loves wellness shots after dogpound workouts.

gets daily massages by her french masseuse.

all & all, she is a mess but she loves the people in her life !!

here’s her pinterest board if you want to take a look !! i also have a wc page here that will most likely be updated over the weekend. & my discord is علياء#4067

[hippychick006]

I saw some posts recently with Hellers once again bringing out the old “Jared confirmed the Castiel/Colette parallel” which has always bugged me, so I thought I’d finally do a post on it.  Putting under a cut so those not interested can quickly move on, but it isn’t that long (for a change).

Heller Myth: Jared confirmed the Castiel/Colette parallel at Seacon 2015.  Suck it antis!

Reality:

This is the question that was asked: I was just wondering, in the Executioner’s Song, the Castiel and Colette parallel was a big part of the plot, or just something that happened?

No explanation given by the fan as to who Colette was, who she was to Cain and what specific parallel the fan was drawing between Castiel/Colette and certainly no hint whatsoever they were actually linking Colette/Cain and Castiel/Dean.  The way the question was phrased made it seem like the parallel between them was an obvious and known canon fact, rather than a fan’s head canon drawn from thin air and more than a little desperation.  J2 had absolutely no reason to question the validity of the parallel and the question being asked.

First off, let’s all acknowledge that the question should not have been asked at all.  Shipping questions (which this obviously was) are not allowed at conventions and yet again, a Destiheller ignored the rules and here we are. That aside;

Fact: There is not a single mention of Colette in The Executioner’s Song, so how on earth there could have been any parallel between Castiel and Colette in that episode in the first place, let alone it being “a big part of the plot” I’ve got no idea.  The only time Colette was ever mentioned by Supernatural was in 9.11 (First Born), and a whopping 25 episodes separate First Born (where Colette is part of the story) and The Executioner’s Song (where Colette is not even mentioned).  

Fact: There is no similarity at all in Colette’s story in 9.11, with anything Castiel said or did in 10.14. The only reason hellers came up with a “parallel” in the first place was because they started at the point “I want Destiel to exist in canon” so in order for that to read true, the only conclusion they come to to support that is Castiel has to be Colette’s equivalent, he just has to be. But there’s absolutely nothing tying the two characters story together in reality.   

Fact: Jared was not involved in filming the scenes in First Born where Colette’s story was told (only Crowley, Dean and Cain were part of those scenes).  Jared was also not involved in filming the scenes in the barn between Dean and Cain in The Executioner’s Song, so his knowledge of Colette as a character, let alone a parallel is going to be pretty non-existent.  Even within fandom, when this question was asked, people couldn’t remember who she was and had to look it up. 

Fact: Seattle convention was 27-29 March 2015.  Executioner’s Song aired on February 17 2015.  Due to hiatus, only 2 more episodes aired after Executioner’s Song and before the convention.  The episode should therefore have been reasonably fresh in both actors’ minds (if they had watched it), which brings me on to…

My opinion based on known facts: Jared rarely watches the episodes.  He did not live tweet during The Executioner’s Song and though not concrete proof, it’s highly likely he did not watch the episode.  The same with First Born.  

So, with all that in mind, let’s look in detail at the answer given.  

Jared: Which one was that episode again? (doesn’t know what fan is talking about, even though as I’ve said, the episode was only 3 prior to the actual convention)

Fan: The one where Dean killed Cain.

This prompted J2 to remember at least part of that episode and the only reason they remember it so clearly is that it was the one where Jensen stabbed Jared in the leg - which they then proceeded to spend a few minutes telling and re-enacting, before they got back to the question and the first thing they ask is;

Jared: What were you asking about? (he clearly has no clue)

Fan: whether the Castiel and Colette parallel was part of the plot, or whether it just happens.

Again, the way this was asked, made it seem as if there was a no brainer that there was a parallel between Castiel and Colette, that a statement of fact was being made, rather than a fan’s completely made up head canon.  

Jared (to Jensen): I’ll let you take this one (clearly still hasn’t a clue)

Jensen: I think she really wanted to hear from you (equally as clueless as Jared)

Jared (eventually mans up and provides an answer, but he talks about parallels in general terms, and he does that because he doesn’t know what parallel the fan is asking about in relation to Castiel and Colette, because why would he? He’s not a heller and Colette is a minor character who appeared in only 1 episode - and as I’ve already mentioned Jared was not involved in those scenes for that episode and is unlikely to have watched it): “I think that the parallels are on purpose.  I think that one of the things our writers do very well is play opposites and parallels… we see it often with Sam and Dean...” (he then goes on to talk about Sam and Dean because of course he does, it’s all that interests him and Jensen and when the show does parallels, it’s generally with these 2 lead characters.  He eventually comes back to…), “so I think you noticing the parallel is a kudos to you, because I think it was done on purpose.”

He’s not saying it was definitely done on purpose because it’s clear he still has no idea who Colette even is and what their parallel to Castiel might be, so he goes with what he thinks is a safe answer.  

Going back to watch the two episodes, there is no way that Castiel can even remotely be “interpreted” as being Colette, even with the most extreme reaching.  This is what Cain had to say about Sam, Castiel and Crowley in The Executioner’s Song (because yes, Crowley was in this episode too, conveniently forgotten by hellers, because who the hell is he a parallel for?!) (transcript extract from superwiki);

Cain (to Dean): Has it never occurred to you? Have you never mused upon the fact that you're living my life in reverse? My story began when I killed my brother, and that's where your story inevitably will end.

Dean: No. Never.

Cain: It's called the Mark of Cain for a reason!

First ... first, you'd kill Crowley. There'd be some strange, mixed feelings on that one, but you'd have your reason. You'd get it done, no remorse.

And then you'd kill the angel, Castiel (I like how he has to clarify which angel – who by the way, Cain himself called Dean’s pet in this episode with this line: “When your pet angel found my burial site”). Now, that one ... that I suspect would hurt something awful.  (I mean yes, I agree, if I had to kill my dog, I’d be completely inconsolable)

And then... then would come the murder you'd never survive, the one that would finally turn you into as much of a savage as it did me.

Dean: No.

Cain: Your brother, Sam.

I don’t know about anyone else, but my take away from this is that once again, Sam is most important and Dean could survive without Crowley and Castiel, but not without Sam.   I mean it’s right there in the text, why are people looking at non existent subtext in the first place?

Going back to Colette’s story in First Born.  This is the important part where Cain talks about her;

Cain: She knew who I was… and what I was.  She loved me unconditionally. She forgave me.  She only asked for one thing.

Crowley: To Stop

In The Executioner’s Song, no one asks Dean to stop, you’d think if they were really going to parallel Colette, that’s what they would do, but no, Dean gives up the blade entirely of his own volition.  Colette is not a factor in Executioner’s song, there’s nothing to parallel to, hence why she’s not even mentioned.

Only one person ever asks Dean to stop killing, and that’s Sam in 9.21 King of the Damned after Dean has killed Abaddon and he’s still stabbing her with the blade:

Sam: Dean!  Dean! Stop!  You can stop.

Dean does, he drops the blade.

Look, if you’re using what Jared said at Seacon as proof of your ship becoming canon, I don’t know what to tell you, other than you know that it isn’t true.  Deep down you know he didn’t intentionally validate your non-existent ship.   Deep down you know if you’d asked the question in this way: “I watched Executioners Song which aired recently and I saw a strong parallel between Colette, who was Cain’s wife, and Castiel who I see as being the equivalent of Colette to Dean. So, I’m wondering if that parallel was intentionally put into the episode, and if so, and Castiel is the equivalent of Dean’s wife, is Destiel going to become canon at some point?” the answer you would have got back would have been 100% clear that there was no parallel between Colette and Castiel in that way and Destiel does not exist.  Anyone genuinely thinking otherwise, is in for a whole world of disappointment when the show ends.  

[lopithecusfanfiction]

Then There Were Three: Chapter One

Author: Lopithecus Pairing: Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden  Rating: Mature Word Count: 4169 Alternate: AO3 Summary: “He pulls out the birth control pills. “These are birth control pills. I haven’t taken one yet so you need to make sure I do. I’ll need to take one every day I’m in heat. I’ll be too out of it to remember myself. This is very important, Aaron.” Aaron nods and reaches for them, taking the packet from Robert’s hands and inspecting it.”

One fateful heat at the lodge changes everything for Robert and everyone around him. Warnings: 

Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics

Mpreg

Canon-Typical Violence

Slow-ish burn (only because it follows canon quite closely)

Canon compliant (just with a baby added to the mix)

Somewhat canon divergent (yes I know that contradicts the previous tag)

Alpha Aaron

Omega Robert

Not exactly your traditional omegaverse (I make up my own rules because I'm picky with these things)

with that being said

there aren't enough of these in this fandom

The abuse era will make an appearance later on

But first we have to get through all the previous shit that happened prior

Other Additional Tags to Be Added (probably)

Author's Note: Don’t tell my other wip fics about this one. I just… couldn’t get it out of my head. It’s been a long time since I’ve written smut so, please be gentle with me. Also, I obviously had to change how the lodge scene went for this work. ;) At the beginning of this, Aaron has yet to be told by Paddy what Robert tried to do to him. This is going to follow pretty closely to canon but obviously some things have to change as well. Please heed the tags. I hope you all enjoy!

“It’s only for a few days,” Robert tells Chrissie as he packs up a duffle bag full of clothes. He had made arrangements earlier with Aaron to meet up at the cabin in the disguise of Robert going to a machinery convention. It was going to be a special opportunity for the two of them, Robert having asked Aaron if he would like to spend Robert’s heat together. That’s what Chrissie is mostly worried about now.

“What about your heat?” she asks him as she follows him around. “You’re supposed to start soon.”

“Don’t worry, I’ve already taken a suppressant,” he lies.

Chrissie pulls him into her embrace, holding him there, and asserting herself as the alpha who is in charge. “I could always go with you, make sure you’re okay. Suppressants fail sometimes, Robert.” Robert knows she’s trying to come off as seductive but it fails completely. He’s too excited about seeing Aaron.

He wriggles out of her grasp. He’s never actually liked how traditional Chrissie can get with the alpha and omega roles. He isn’t sure if he’ll ever get comfortable with it. “It’s unlikely.” Robert resists the urge to sigh himself when he hears Chrissie do one. “Look, when I get back, we can book a weekend retreat. Make it up for missing my heat.”

“Hmm,” she pulls him in again. “It won’t be as fun as sharing a heat with you but Paris or Barcelona sounds fun.”

Robert plasters on his best, charming smile and kisses her. “If that’s what you want.” He kisses her one last time and that seems to satisfy her. Chrissie leaves him alone after that, allowing him to pack in peace. He smiles when he receives a text from Aaron a few minutes later, stating that he’ll see him there. Double checking that he has the birth control pills snugly in his pocket, Robert drives off, feeling almost giddy about meeting the other alpha.

When he gets to the lodge, Aaron is waiting for him outside, drinking a beer. They banter a little about Robert being late but soon enter the building, Robert looking around. It’s small and not something he would normally choose to spend a heat in but it’s cozy and will have to do. “You know what? I like it,” he comments, heading straight to the bedroom. He presses down on the mattress, already feeling the instinctual need to nest. “Not bad, this.”

Aaron shrugs, beer still in hand. “Yeah, it’ll do,” he says, as if reading Robert’s mind. When Robert looks at him, the alpha squirms, switching his weight from one foot to the other.

Robert chuckles, watching Aaron. “Have you ever shared a heat before?” Aaron purses his lips, pretends to think, and then shakes his head. Robert furrows his brows in confusion. “Never? Not with… Jackson or, what was his name, Ed?”

Aaron shrugs again. “Jackson was an alpha and Ed was a beta.”

Robert nods. “I’ve never been with another omega before,” he says, trying a round-a-bout way of commenting on the fact that Aaron was with someone of the same caste without insulting the alpha. It’s a rarity, for caste members to hook up with each other.

“Wasn’t bad,” Aaron goes on to say. “Besides, after the accident…” he trails off and Robert doesn’t push.

With a deep breath, Robert moves on, facing Aaron and stepping up to him. He pulls out the birth control pills. “These are birth control pills. I haven’t taken one yet so you need to make sure I do. I’ll need to take one every day I’m in heat. I’ll be too out of it to remember myself. This is very important, Aaron.” Aaron nods and reaches for them, taking the packet from Robert’s hands and inspecting it. “Since you’re new to this, I’m going to explain a little bit of what’s going to happen. When omegas are about to go into heat, they start nesting.”

“Nesting?”

Robert nods and walks away, looking the room over. He doesn’t have much time before he starts his heat, so he’s going to have to multitask. “Nesting is when an omega gathers things around them that make them feel safe. Usually it involves things that have their alpha’s scent but if you don’t have an alpha, then it can be anything really.”

“Did you bring something of Chrissie’s then?” Aaron asks, taking a step closer.

Robert tsks, straightening from where he was bent over and smoothing out the duvet. “No.” Robert stares at him, waiting for things to click but when they don’t, he smirks in amusement. “You are completely clueless when it comes to these things.” He laughs and ignores Aaron’s annoyed face. “Since I’m sharing my heat with you, it would be dangerous to bring something with Chrissie’s scent. It could go one of two ways: you destroy whatever it was or you hunt her down and kill her.” He sees Aaron gulp. “Omegas aren’t the only ones who get a little out of it when it comes to a heat.”

Aaron squirms again. He’s clutching onto the little packet of birth control pills as if his life depends on it. “Is that why you don’t smell like her right now?”

He nods. “I made sure to spray myself with a scent dampener. I don’t need you to go off all crazy.” He picks up a lamp off the nightstand. “Now I won’t be able to properly nest but I’ll make do. This is the ugliest lamp I have ever seen. Here,” he holds it out to Aaron. “Get rid of it, would you?”

Aaron takes the lamp and leaves the room. He doesn’t return for a while and Robert starts to wonder what is taking so long. Maybe Aaron is having a little mini freak out. Robert decides to leave him to it. He’s got more important things to worry about. After he digs through the closet and takes out every single sheet and pillow that is there, dumping the contents onto the bed, he looks around the room. Something seems missing. “Aaron!” he calls. It doesn’t take Aaron long to reenter the room. “Where’s that lamp?”

Aaron gestures with his head. “It’s in the other room.”

“What’s it doing out there?” Robert asks, incredulous. He can already feel his body heat rising and slick is starting to form between his legs. “Bring it back.”

“But you-”

“Just bring it back,” Robert snaps and Aaron does as he’s told. When he returns, Robert grabs the lamp and sets it down on the bureau. He studies it for a while before deciding it’s fine there and moves on. He finds some more pillows in the bottom drawer of the bureau. He wonders if the people who rent this lodge out prepare the room for secret rendezvous heats. When he’s done throwing those onto the bed — he’s got quite the pile — he looks around the room one last time. Eyes landing on the lamp, he grimaces and picks it up. “God, get this ugly thing out of here.” He holds it out to Aaron who looks at him in bewilderment.

“Is this how all omegas act during heat?” Aaron asks, voice laced with amusement as he grabs the lamp and leaves the room once more.

Robert smiles after him before looking around the room one last time. He can feel himself being pulled into the haze of heat, his underwear being completely soaked through now. The nest will have to do with how he’s got it. Robert doesn’t have any more time to tweak it. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, Robert waits until Aaron comes back, rocking his hips back and forth to try and relieve some of the pressure.

It doesn’t take Aaron long to return and Robert watches as the alpha stops to sniff the air. Robert reaches out for Aaron, not being able to hold back any longer. “God, Robert, you smell good,” Aaron says as he approaches.

Robert grabs a hold of Aaron’s waist and buries his nose in Aaron’s stomach. He groans, taking a deep breath in, enjoying the smell of Aaron. He can tell the alpha is already hard, a reaction to Robert’s own arousal. “Need you,” he mumbles against Aaron’s belly, eyes closed and breathing deeply.

Aaron runs a hand through Robert’s hair and down to his chin, pushing him away slightly. Robert whines with the loss. “Okay, hang on,” Aaron says gently, fishing something out of his jean’s pocket. It’s the little packet of birth control. Robert watches as Aaron pops one out and then reaches for a mug of water that he must have placed there sometime earlier. “Take this.”

Robert does as he’s told, swallowing the little pill down with ease. “Now?” he asks, looking up at Aaron through his eyelashes. Aaron’s hand is still on his face, thumb stroking his cheek. With a quick, curt nod from Aaron, Robert quickly unzips Aaron’s trousers and pulls out his cock from his boxers. He wraps his mouth around the head, sucking as he swallows him down.

Aaron groans in pleasure and twists his fingers in Robert’s hair, holding him there as he rocks his hips back and forth. Robert lets Aaron use his mouth as he reaches behind himself, shoving his hands down the back of his own trousers in order to try and get a couple fingers in him, not being able to take the pressure anymore. Aaron notices and pulls out of Robert’s mouth, batting Robert’s hand away from its destination. “Stop,” Aaron mumbles, leaning down. “Let me…” He unbuttons the first few buttons of Robert’s shirt before giving up and just pulling the whole thing off over his head. He then moves onto Robert’s trousers.

“I’ve heard omegas can easily overheat during their heat if they’re not careful,” Aaron casually mentions as he unbuttons and unzips Robert’s jeans. “Is that true?” Robert hears the question, almost even wants to answer him, but all he can think about is getting Aaron’s cock in him. So, when Aaron stops for a second to ask, “Robert?” Robert pushes forward and kisses him on the lips with all he’s got. Aaron gently pushes him back and away, continuing his mission of removing all of Robert’s clothes. When he gets to Robert’s boxers, he moans. “Jesus, Robert, you’re soaking wet already.”

Robert buries his face in Aaron’s neck. “Need you so bad.” He whines, licking a stripe up to his ear. “Please, Aaron.”

“I know. Just give me a sec.” Aaron throws the boxers off to the side and slides out of his own clothes. Robert watches in awe. Aaron really is beautiful. Robert doesn’t know how Aaron isn’t tied down yet with another omega.

Robert whines again, the ache of not being filled starting to act up. He always hated this part of a heat; the cramping that would coincide it if you didn’t have a cock or a dildo to shove up yourself. It makes omegas too dependent on others and as someone who hates to conform to the norm of the castes — yes, Robert does realize the irony in that, considering how many times he’s claimed to be straight and hides the fact that he’s into men as well — he dislikes that his heats make him act like a needy omega who needs a nice strong alpha’s cock up his arse.

He even hated it with Chrissie even though Chrissie likes being a traditional alpha in the relationship. But with Aaron, Robert doesn’t seem to mind it as much. He doesn’t mind giving up a bit of control and just wanting Aaron with all his being. Because with Aaron, it makes Robert want to be free, to be himself.

Robert buries his nose in the hair found on Aaron’s stomach, breathing him in once more. “Hurts.”

Aaron runs a hand through Robert’s hair once again. “Don’t worry, I’ve got you.” He pushes Roebert back and encourages Robert to slide back on the bed. “Get on your hands and knees.” Robert does, presenting his arse to Aaron who joins behind him. Two of Aaron’s fingers enter him with ease and Robert can’t hold back the moan. Aaron doesn’t take much time in preparing him. Robert doesn’t need it. Instead, Aaron gathers some of the slick that has run down Robert’s thighs and coats his cock in it before finally pushing inside Robert slowly.

Robert keens, he can’t help it. It feels so good, amazing, and he wants, needs , more. Aaron wastes no time at all before he’s pulling back out and sliding back in, the lude wet sound at the movement only turning Robert on even more. He’s not going to last long, never does during the first round when he’s in heat. There’s just too much pent up arousal to make it last.

Aaron, as if thinking the same, quickens his pace, the slick that Robert’s body naturally produces making each thrust easier and easier. They are both panting loudly, Robert’s arms shaking, and Aaron’s grip on his hips bruising. Robert hopes he won’t have visible marks there but at the moment he really can’t bring himself to care. The haze of heat is too much to think clearly. All he wants is more, more, more.

“Robert,” Aaron gasps. They both are sweating profusely, the exertion of the act taking its toll. “Robert, should I-” Aaron swallows, loud and quick. “Should I knot you?”

“God, yes,” Robert groans because that’s all he wants right now. “Please, Aaron.”

Aaron does, his knot slipping in easily, tying them together. Robert comes then, Aaron’s knot pressing down on his prostate hard. Slick gushes out of him, cock spurting cum onto the mattress. He moans loudly, body shaking with pleasure. He doesn’t even notice when Aaron reaches his own climax, cumming inside Robert. What Robert doesn’t miss is how Aaron’s forehead presses painfully into the back of his neck, most likely to stop himself from biting Robert, marking him as his.

They collapse onto the mattress and Aaron rearranges them so they both are on their side instead of Aaron suffocating Robert. They’ll have to stay like this for a while, at least until Aaron is done and his knot goes down. Robert doesn’t mind much, the haze starting to fade but exhaustion taking over. He succumbs to it, allowing himself to fall asleep in Aaron’s arms.

*~~~*

They fall into a pattern for the next two days. Aaron will fuck him, knot him, then they’ll sleep for about an hour before Aaron gets up and grabs them something to eat. In between the haze, Robert had to make sure to tell Aaron that it was the alpha’s job to make sure the omega was staying hydrated and fed. Aaron seemed to be a little put out by this but once Robert explained that the reasoning is that omegas won’t think about it most times themselves, Aaron seemed fine with it.

It’s the beginning of the fourth day and Robert had woken Aaron up with a blow job that quickly escalated to Aaron knotting Robert nicely. At the moment, Robert has his face buried in Aaron’s neck, scenting him. Aaron nips at his ear. “This wasn’t the greatest position to get tied together in.”

Robert hums in agreement but he doesn’t mind it too much. They are facing each other which means Aaron has no choice but to hold him close, Robert’s legs wrapped snugly around Aaron’s waist. They both are sticky with sweat and cum, neither of them having taken a shower yet. They probably should but Robert has a hard enough time letting Aaron go to get food, let alone to go take a shower. Maybe he should suggest taking a shower together but it wouldn’t be a good idea to fuck in there and get tied together. Aaron might be strong but he’s not strong enough to carry Robert back to the bed.

There’s a knock on the door, something neither of them are expecting, so it makes the two jump. “Who could that be?” Aaron asks, trying to sit up. His knot is already going down, lasting a shorter amount of time the longer they get into Robert’s heat.

Robert pulls him back down, sucks a spot on his neck. It’s okay if Robert marks him. “Leave it.”

The knock comes again, this time with a familiar voice following it. “Aaron?”

“Paddy?” Aaron shrugs Robert’s hold off and pulls out of him. Robert falls back onto the bed with a heavy sigh.

“What is he doing here?” he asks, throwing an arm behind his head. He’s suddenly feeling very territorial.

“I don’t know. I didn’t even tell him where I was going.” Aaron gets up off the bed, pulling a pair of joggers on. “I’ll get rid of him.”

Robert pulls Aaron down and kisses him messily, tongue shoving into Aaron’s mouth. “Make it quick.”

Aaron smirks at him as he pulls on a jumper and then leaves the room. Robert lies there and listens, the two out in the living room talking with hushed voices. Curious, Robert gets up off the bed and approaches the door that Aaron left a jar, eavesdropping.

“Aaron you have to listen to me,” Paddy pleads. “You have no idea how hard it was to figure out where you were.”

“I don’t even know why you felt the need to find me in the first place, Paddy.” Aaron sounds agitated. Paddy is a beta so it wouldn’t be the fact that another alpha was threatening his time with his omega. No, it would have be purley emotion based, Aaron not wanting to be interrupted with his time with Robert. Somehow, this makes Robert’s pride increase.

“That’s just it, Aaron. I have something important to tell you, about Robert.”

It’s not until Robert hears the end of footsteps that he realizes Aaron was pacing. “What about Robert?”

“Is he here?”

A pause, almost like a hesitation. “Yeah. He’s in the bedroom. In heat.”

“Heat?” Paddy sounds incredulous. “Please tell me you aren’t spending his heat with him.”

“So what if I am?”

“Aaron!” Paddy remarks. “I can’t believe this.”

“What did you need to tell me?” Robert can hear Aaron’s eye roll in his voice.

Paddy’s voice drops into a whisper. “He’s dangerous, Aaron.”

“What do you mean?” Aaron still sounds irritated, as if he has zero patience for any of this right now. Robert doesn’t blame him. Both their bodies are pumped full of hormones at the moment. It’s all Robert can do to not go out there, growl at Paddy to go away, and drag Aaron back to bed.

“He tried to kill me.” Robert’s hackles immediately rise. “If Robert had his way, I would have suffocated in that grain pit. It happened after I tried to warn Chrissie about Robert cheating.” Robert swallows, feeling his heart rate speed up in his chest. “Aaron, he admitted to it and then threatened Leo and Rhona if I didn’t back off.”

“You’re lying. He wouldn’t do that.”

“He wouldn’t do it?” Paddy practically yells but quickly recovers, going back into a whisper. “Aaron, of course, he’d do it. He’s a psychopath.” Robert bites his bottom lip to stop himself from growling out loud. “What kind of person threatens a kid?”

He can hear Aaron walking again. “He’s been lying to me this whole time.” It sounds like Aaron is crying and Robert has heard enough.

He barges through the door, not caring that he has no clothes on. “No, that is not true!”

“Isn’t it?” Aaron asks, spinning to face him. There are definite tears in his eyes and Robert has to resist the urge to go up to him and wipe them away. “How could you?” He pushes past Robert, bumping into his shoulder on his way, and goes back into the bedroom.

Robert follows him, feeling the panic start to settle in his chest. “What are you doing?” he asks as he watches Aaron packing his clothes into the duffle bag he brought.

“There is no way I am going to spend the rest of your heat with you,” Aaron says, venom lacing his words. “Not after what you did to Paddy!”

“No.”

“And threatening Rhona? Leo?” Aaron growls as he finishes packing, eyes narrowed in deadly anger. “What? Katie wasn’t enough for you?”

“Don’t you dare bring that up,” Robert warns. He can already feel the next wave of heat coming to the surface. He internally begs for it to wait, to hold off just a little longer.

“Did you purposely kill her too?”

“Don’t.”

“Did you smash her brains in and then made it look like an accident?” Aaron gets right in his face. “What did you do, Robert?”

“I only pushed her!” Aaron takes a step back, rubbing a hand down his face. “It was still an accident, Aaron.”

“No,” Aaron looks at him, eyes full of tears and regret and hatred. “No, that’s murder.”

Robert shakes his head. “D-don’t call it that.”

“It’s what it is and you let me live with that guilt.” He pokes a finger into Robert’s chest. “It nearly destroyed me and all along it was your fault?” Aaron grimaces and shakes his head, a look of pain crossing his face. “You can’t take being gay, so you kill people.”

“No, Aaron, no.”

Aaron shoves past him again and Robert follows. Paddy is still standing there, waiting and watching. “Get away from me, Robert.”

“Where are you going?”

“Away from you.”

“No, Aaron, you can’t.” Robert begs, the panic and fear constricting his chest.

“Watch me.” Robert jogs past Aaron and blocks his way out. “Move.”

Robert shakes his head. “Don’t you get it? I’m in heat, Aaron.”

“And I’m supposed to still care?” Aaron tsks and tries to get past Robert but Robert stands strong.

“Without you here, I could wander off,” Robert explains desperately. “If I pass any alphas that are out there… they won’t be able to stop themselves, Aaron.”

Something in Aaron’s eyes spark and Robert watches as the alpha bites his bottom lip before shoving his duffle bag towards Paddy. He then walks out of the room and returns with something bunched up in his hand. “Come with me.”

Robert, confused, follows him. They stop in front of a radiator and Aaron grabs one of his wrists. “What are you doing?” Aaron ties a piece of fabric around his wrist and then loops it around the radiator, tying the other end around his other wrist. “You’re tying me up?” Aaron says nothing and walks away, leaving Robert to pull at them. “You can’t leave me like this, Aaron!” Aaron doesn’t return. “Aaron, please!” He flinches when he hears the front door slam shut.

“Aaron!” Robert’s breathing is coming in ragged gulps. Aaron doesn’t understand the impact, the panic, that an alpha leaving an omega in heat can cause. “Aaron!” He pulls at his bindings again. He frantically pulls and pulls and pulls until he knows there is going to be bruising. “Aaron!” Robert notes how scared his own voice sounds, how shaky it is, but ignores the fact for the sake of trying to escape. He doesn’t know how, but eventually the knot on one of his wrists loosens and with one last tug, he breaks free from the binding, falling onto his arse.

By now, he’s already in the haze of a panicked heat, not being able to see straight at all. He groans in pain as a particularly painful cramp squeezes at his insides and he struggles to stand. Stumbling, he makes his way to the front door and leaves the lodge, futilely looking for Aaron. He’s panting and sweating heavily, slick running down the inside of his thighs mixed with Aaron’s cum. He needs someone, anyone, to help him and when he trips, falling to the ground, he rolls over onto his side and groans, clutching onto his painful stomach.

The haze overtakes him, blurring whatever comes next, and when it dissipates, he’s lying on the ground still, sweaty and cold. Robert sits up, glad to see he didn’t wander too far from the lodge and he can only smell Aaron on himself, which means he didn’t encounter any other alphas. He carefully gets up off the ground, brushing off the dead leaves from his body and makes his way back to the lodge.

It’s not until he’s back in the building that the panic settles in his gut again. Knowing he has to get home as soon as possible to try and make everything right, Robert quickly takes a shower and then starts packing everything up. Once everything is away in his duffel, he grabs the little packet of birth control off the nightstand where Aaron left it and shoves it into his jean’s pocket, not paying attention to the fact that only one of the pills is missing.

———————————————————————————————————–

A/N: Thanks for reading!

[brokeassperson-blog]

First

This is my first post. My first time writing about this part of my life. At this point I figure I might as well try anything and everything.

I fucked up again. I lied again. I failed you and moreso failed myself. My weakness is deeply imbedded in something truly dark. I know what it is but I can’t tell you because it is painful and selfish at the same time.

This time I placed rules on myself to see if I could follow them. I gave you tools to keep me in line. I went the wrong direction. I should’ve believed in myself even when I knew you didn’t and I should’ve put all my focus on fixing my issue.

My problem is that I have been focusing on the symptoms of the problem and not the problem itself. I have to change. I have to break the cycle I’ve been stuck in. How can I have such an amazing life and still not find true happiness? Where is this sadness coming from? Where is this drive to act out and do stupid shit coming from?

It came from you. Hear me out. You opened a door in our lives I never knew was possible. It was new and absolutely amazing! We pushed boundaries! It was beautiful and scary and helped us grow as a couple and as individuals. There were times we pushed those boundaries a little too much and we had to take some time and recover. There were mistakes along the way as well. We both aren’t angels in that aspect. But everything was good.

Something changed after the assault. This is to be expected. You and I both went through a Great War and it lasted a really long time. You needed to put yourself back together. I needed to help you and be by your side to support you in every way I could. You questioned things. Why didn’t we leave when you first asked me to? How could I have let that happen? Where was I? There were plenty of what if items to file through but in the end, it was his choice and his evil that made the act happen. But that wasn’t the totality of that night.

What I didn’t think about at the time was how I would feel after all the chips hit the floor... I didn’t properly process the situation in its entirety. I went to counseling for my anger and it was justified. I went to counseling to help our relationship and the therapist couldn’t find anything wrong other than we had a history of pushing boundaries and sometimes some stuff gets pushed further than expected. I’m different than you. I process things differently. I don’t hold onto memories with the same grip you do. I don’t apply as much emotion into the decisions of others as you do. I think I learned a long time ago that to do those things only brings on pain that I don’t want to deal with. I think this lets me move through life a little lighter in the end with a more optimistic outlook in general. It is this same style of processing that has hidden something from me below the surface. Just deep enough to not be seen but shallow enough to be felt and to affect my life. With most people this is relatively easy to figure out but for me it is an unknown variable. I think it’s the reason that no matter what I tried, I couldn’t get things with Laura to work.

We were letting ourselves be free and the night at Eli’s was really no different. Nothing too crazy I assumed because it was our friends house and we have to put the persona out that we can be relatively normalish. The evening was still a bit early and I took Carissa to go get more ice. Eli’s mom was still at the house with everyone else. I figured you were in good hands. I didn’t ever think that it was your hands and thoughts and desires that would be my first enemy that night. When I got back I had no idea what had happened. What you said and what you did. I was completely clueless to it all. Then you told me what happened when he assaulted you the next day. That’s where my story of the assault started. I had my memories of what I saw the night before but I was quite in the dark about what happened before that moment when it came to your interactions. You left that part out of your story to me. You left that part out of your story to the cops. And you tried your best to leave that part of the story out completely. Eventually I received hints from you about “other” things that might have happened earlier in the evening. Then I read the statements from the others involved taken by the detective. All I could think of is hell no! There is no way that happened because 1. She would never disrespect me and do that. With my friends. 2. She would’ve told me. This was huge and she would’ve told me if it was true.

It was true. It was all true. Even the part where you wanted both of them to take you upstairs and have their way with you. This broke me... This broke who I was. Who I thought I was to you. Who I thought I was to myself. It not only broke me, it broke my self image. Then I still had to face the person you broke me with every day at work. Even when he wasn’t there physically he was all around me. I can only imagine that he told the truth of it to anyone and everyone on his side. What he did was the worst thing you can do to someone but what happened between you and those guys that night cut me just as deep. And I had to live with that every day. Being reminded of it every time I came to work.

You say I lie like I breathe. It’s pathetic but you love me anyway. That I don’t know how to love or what true love is. That I don’t know how to love deeply even though I’m the one that taught you how to love in the first place. These things aren’t true. Some are absurd and others are extremely exaggerated. I have failed. Myself and you. But I wake up and fight every day. I lie because I am embarrassed for failing and I don’t want you to know. I don’t want you to be hurt by my failings because I know how it feels. You’re right, I’m not an addict. I’m just trying to find a happiness in all of it anyway. I’m making poor decisions because they feel good for a short time. I look to others because I don’t see that night in them. I’m not your alpha. That night I wasn’t even your beta. I was third string at best. I’m still here though. I’m still waking up and fighting everyday. I’m still searching for a way to fix it all. I can’t forget about that night but I can forgive and I can work past it.

First I have to stop letting it control me and my choices. The choices I make don’t give me the happiness I’m looking for and they only hurt you which is not what I want at all. I need to be truthful with you but I don’t know how to bring such a horrendous thing up. It is painful and I can’t pull away from the fact that it is selfish of me to be so mad after such a terrible thing happened to the person I love more than anything. I was hoping that it would subside over time but it’s not and I’m not keeping it from guiding my decisions. I am currently sabatoging everything good in my life.

I don’t have the answer. I have to accept it to move in. I can’t seem to accept it without knowing every detail. All I have is a horrible summary of events with lots of stuff left out. Trying to process that has been impossible and here I sit. Unable to process it to the level I need to and therefore letting it control me without the information to fight it. Without the tools to win. This is why I don’t have the answer. I haven’t been able to find a tool that will get me to where I need to be.