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#THIS WOULD BE HILARIOUS OMFG
savvylittlecoxswain · 5 months
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WAIT WAIT WAIT you know how the people on the boat on the way to Berlin would hold mock trials? Just picture this for me…
Oarsmen v. Coxswain in an insane mock trial features Bobby literally crying on the witness stand as he recounts how his very own crew betrayed him, kidnapped and tortured and stuffed him in a dog kennel(yes that actually happened).
Everyone knows it’s all in jest but that’s some juicy drama right there like that’s easily the top storyline for a whole week because how could those giant ruffians do such a thing to their poor little coxswain? It’s Bobby who orchestrated the whole thing because this is about to be the craziest trial yet.
They got a “judge” and Bobby builds up his team of lawyers. They get some other Olympian’s to serve as the oarsmen’s attorneys and they find some impartial jurors from various different events. The “court room” is packed and Bobby is putting on one heck of a show for everyone. It’s a top tier production that’s totally unscripted but everyone got so invested in this trial. There were tons of witnesses to speak about their relationship before the event and eye witnesses, I mean they even got the dogs on the witness stand.
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cakesmelons · 2 years
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I adore your art!! Ink and Killer perhaps?
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ty <33333333 Ink got a bit too happy and well.... the rest is obvious XD
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depravedangelbaby · 6 months
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batfamfucker · 1 year
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Pavitr reminds me of Dick so much. They would be besties and bond over their hair together 😭
#Someone please draw them going over hair grooming tips#They would have sleepovers and gossip#Them fighting togeter. Spidey with his gold web things (I'm sorry I know they likely have a name but don't know it. Lmk if you do please)#And Nightwing with his batons#Omfg they'd be so powerful. And HILARIOUS#Pavitr would be gushing over his gf (I forgot her name I'm sorry) and Dick over Wally#Jason and Hobie would also probably be friends#Tim and Margo. Or Margo and Babs??#People may think Bruce and Miguel. Getting mistaken for a vampire resonates. But Miguel beat down a child so#I know he's hot but at what cost#So I raise you Bruce and Peter. Peter would show Bruce all of Mayday's pics and Bruce would show Peter pics of his kids in return#The wholesome dads would bond and gush over their kids#Gwen Cass and Steph would be besties#Kate and Jess have brunch dates over having to deal with everyone else#Duke and Miles too. They're both. Done. With everyone around them#They look around at the chaos and dip.#I feel like Tim and Miles would chill too. Like Miles uses some of Tim's photography as art inspo. Or Tim pictures some of Miles art#Speaking of Damian and Miles would get along too. So much painting and parkour#Alfred Damian and Pavitr have tea parties. Hobie comes over just to bother Alfred. Alfred secretly loves Hobie#Miles would be like. They want me to let my dad die :/#And Bruce would be torn between letting it happen so he could adopt him. But in reality actually go feral on Miguel's ass#Because Been There Done That. He wouldn't want Mikes to go through it too#Spiderman Across The Spiderverse#Spiderman Into The Batverse#Spiderverse Spoilers#Across The Spiderverse Spoilers
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purple-mushroom-cap · 2 years
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me before tsh: i don't know i dont rlly like sequels bc the characters from the og story are barely ever in the spin-offs and i never like the new characters :/
me after tsh: talented brilliant incredible amazing show stopping spectacular--
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gleedreamcasts · 1 year
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Pippin
requested by me!
Kurt Hummel as Pippin
Mercedes Jones as Leading Player
Tina Cohen-Chang as Catherine
Noah Puckerman as Charlemagne
Rachel Berry as Fastrada
Unique Adams as Berthe
Rory Flanagan as Theo
Blaine Anderson as Lewis
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avidabsurdist · 3 months
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Laughing crying and throwing up rn
I'm reading through the one star reviews of Yumi and the Nightmare painter and OH MY GOD
The sheer number of people who probably DNFed this book because of the "narrator" being annoying/condescending/long-winded is HILARIOUS
Wit is actively giving Brandon Sanderson a bad name, I didn't realize people who weren't familiar with our walking clown show would probably be uncomfortable with him talking down to you.
And rightfully so!
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These are SO VALID omfg, I can't stop laughing.
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sourcreamchips4evr · 2 years
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Have you ever sneezed so hard that it makes it so you can feel them now. And it kind of hurts. but also you kind of like it and partially becuase i like pain
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megumishotgf · 11 months
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more jjk + mha fic recs !! ˖ ࣪࿐ྂ
in my unemployed era so i have hours to scroll on this damn app... here are more fics that i loved!! featuring: megumi, satoru, nanami, toji, yuuji, yuuta, katsuki, izuku, shouto (whew there's a lot of them today. your girl has been READING) credits to all these talented writers!! pls check them out!! masterlist more fic recs pt. i pt. iii
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: ̗̀➛ megumi fushiguro x reader
you and gumi bond over books (he reads a book you're interested in just so you have someone to discuss it with. bawling)
multiple-part enemies to lovers smau!! (this is SO FUNNY. i cried from laughter more than once)
more enemies to lovers (lengthier fic, so so good + smutty)
you give megumi valentines day chocolates (so so cute he just loves u so much)
secret relationship trope + poor yuuji walks in on you making out (poor baby is traumatised)
more secret relationship + getting caught (i love this one so much)
your silly tired bf just wants kisses
it's late, you're wandering in your ducky slippers and see megumi patching himself up
megumi falls in love with milf! reader (omfg... i love this sm. i've never considered being a cougar until now)
friends to lovers with megumi (high school a.u + gumi buys reader sanrio)
thinking about megumi's hands (i js know they are pretty. thinking of all the unspeakable things they can do)
comforting insecure megumi (my poor baby. a lil angst but dw there's a happy ending)
: ̗̀➛ kento nanami x reader
kento comes home early (so cute and precious. im crying i need him to be real so bad)
he gets hurt bad and you can't stop crying (angsty but also fluffy don't worry this doesn't end like shibuya)
: ̗̀➛ toji fushiguro x reader
riding toji until he whimpers omfg (he gets embarrassed and teaches you a lesson ahhh)
your fiancee toji finally gets freed from prison (they finally freed my man anyway you suck him off while he drives omfg)
sex as payback for your noisy ass neighbours (im losing it)
really cute dating headcanons
more on toji being a simp for you (HES SOOO)
: ̗̀➛ satoru gojo x reader
"my girl is mad at me i hope i die" that's it
y/n + satoru being stupidly in love (now this one has a kick to it.i'm crying)
satoru is obsessed with you but you're oblivious (pining satoru)
boyfriend texts w/ satoru
fucking satoru in the prison realm (AHHHH)
satoru begs to fuck you at some high profile event (u js look so cunty in that outfit and it drives him crazy)
car sex with satoru AHHH
satoru lets u try on his blindfold (hes such so :( so so adorable)
you get hurt and satoru is worried (wow this is so well written. happy ending + gojo centric)
: ̗̀➛ yuuji itadori x reader
fucking ur friend yuuji in a club bathroom (this is so so good)
"if we had a baby would it be mine or sukuna's" (this is hilarious)
yuuji comforts his gf who's not his 'usual type' (its me im the short gf with a big chest) (i’ve been coming back to reread this daily)
: ̗̀➛ yuuta okkotsu x reader
blowing ur big dick bf yuuta (canon)
really really romantic sex w/ yuuta (straight up making love)
: ̗̀➛ katsuki bakugo x reader
domestic headcanons (i love them and i love him. help)
more cute relationship headcanons
katsuki is obsessed with gossiping and eavesdropping when you and your friends spill the tea (this is so funny i love it sm)
dragging katsuki to the club bathroom because u love him (this is so wholesome im crying)
kiri notices how whipped katsuki is for you
guard dog katsuki is jealous
: ̗̀➛ izuku midoriya x reader
mating press with izuku (this actually drives me crazy. written so well and in character)
izuku is just so fucking precious (i can't take it anymore)
: ̗̀➛ shouto todoroki x reader
shouto gets halved by a quirk but not like gojo, there's js two of him (there is one obvious thing to do now)
dr. todoroki promises to breed you properly (i'm convulsing)
you're insecure after giving birth and shouto comforts you (with loving words and his dick)
resolving an argument w/ ur bf shouto (so cute!!)
eating u out in the kitchen (omfg)
there is an overwhelming amount of smut i'm sorry this is kind of embarrassing i'm just super horny lmao
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ventique18 · 6 months
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Y'all I read a Malleyuu comic where Malleus is already a fourth year and is doing his off-campus work, so Yuu begins to wonder what they'll do after graduation and if a magicless person could even belong in a magical place like Briar Valley.
During the time, Malleus realizes that he yearns for Yuu and can't live without them anymore, so when he got a chance to see them again, he finally pops the question.
"Won't you come with me? Will you be the first person who greets my every waking morning?" ("Will you be my spouse?")
And Yuu tearfully says yes. Finally, they have somewhere to belong to. Finally, they have a future.
... As a palace guard who greets Prince Malleus with a "Good morning! Nothing to report, sir!"
I CAN'T TAKE THIS LMAOOOO 😭😭😭 It's so on-brand for Malleyuu OMFG. There's even a little sequel where Sebek comes to Malleus to oppose his decision.
🐊: "You know how I've always respected you, sir. But this time... Just this time! Please change your mind!"
🐉: "If this is about me and Yuu, then there's no place for contest."
🐊: "Sir, please hear me out!!"
🐉: "This is our decision, and I will not tolerate any--"
🐊: "I DON'T THINK BEING A PALACE GUARD WOULD SUIT THEM AT ALL! PLEASE RETHINK YOUR DECISION!!"
🐉: "Sebek what the fuck are you talking about."
This is especially so hilarious when you know that the Japanese (at least in old school) would say absolutely anything except for marry me. "Won't you make miso for me everyday for the rest of our lives," "please wash my underwear." Like 😭
Link to the comic if you want to see the lovely art:
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thetiredprometheus · 26 days
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Telemachus my baby, he's so precious, I'm dying
"When's your tramp of a mother gonna chose a new husband?" God I hate him so much
Omg yes Telemachus, stand up for your mum!
Athena is here!!!!!!!!
"Uppercut him, now" Yes ma'am
Athenas verse!!!
"Oh maybe I pushed you a bit to hard..."
She called Ody her friend! Character development!
"I could sleep at night" oh he really got to her didn't he
"You're my friend I couldn't ask for more" omfg please I would die for him <3 <3 <3
"You're a good kid" I'm actually crying
Omg that mash of all the angst that's happened until now just rub it into our faces jorge
"She's my wife" "....anyways"
"I'm no pet I'm a married man!" Hell yeah, stand up for yourself ody!!
"Bow down now to the immortal Calypso" shivers
Not the surprise polities, eurylochus and anticlea cameo for the extra ptsd
He called for Athena!!
Chills every time Zeus speaks
"He killed the sirens" "ok but consider: they started it"
Aphrodite slayed. Obviously.
Watch out Ares, Athena now has the power of friendship
Hera was hilarious
Zeus is actually terrifying
Warrior of the mind and Legendary playing when Athena is reviving I'm actually bawling my eyes out I love her so much
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rarepears · 7 months
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Okay I'm thinking - very dangerous, I know.
Luo Binghe was away and pretty much completely out of contact with human life in the Endless Abyss. He's popping up in people's dreamscapes, sure, but it's still a dream at the end of the day and it's not an exact reflection of reality. Things he learn from people's minds still have to be taken with a grain of salt; he knows from Qing Jing's teachings that one man's truth isn't the whole truth. And from Shen Qingqiu himself, Luo Binghe knows how easily one can convince themselves that the truth isn't the real truth but a lie; delusion is a powerful force.
Anyways, what I'm saying is that Luo Binghe was away for 3 years. All sorts of things could have happened in the cultivation world! It's basically like being in a coma for three years!
You know what would be the worse year to fall into a coma? 2019.
(Can you see where I'm going with this?)
It would be freaking hilarious if Luo Binghe falls into the endless abyss in the cultivation world's equivalent of 2019, an epidemic hits human civilization, and Luo Binghe returns, none the wiser of what happened, but he's sure as fuck wondering why face veils have become such a Fashion Statement that Everyone is wearing it. By then, the illness that had struck most of the human town and cities isn't as bad so it's not so talked about - also it's been a couple years now so everyone is used to it - but it's still a Concern. Not everyone can be rich enough or well connected enough to get the special medicine from the Qian Cao peak to stave off catching the illness.
Luo Binghe is also pretty sure everyone can tell he's a demon because they keep looking and glaring at him. He's very self conscious of his skills of maintaining his glamour hiding his demonic attributes.
(No, Luo Binghe, it's because you cough and sneeze without a face covering on. And also because you aren't maintaining 2 meter social distancing rules. StoP TOUCHING anD insPecTinG eaCh FruiT and vEgetablE at hte markets omfg are you trying to spread your germs everywhere and get people sick!!! )
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fayendere · 4 months
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never letting anyone, lucifer or myself forget abt this msg. oh my god…. HE WOULD SEND YOU MESSAGES DURING THE DAY TO LIKE… TEASE U… SIGH…… UGHHH H HHHH….. AND THEN ACT LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED…….UUGUGUGUGHGHHH H HH H HH H HH!!!!!! 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
in this msg he was drunk and i MHDHBCBC CDRUNK LUCIFER IS NEVER NOT HILARIOUS TO MEE OMFG og obey me players will remember the msg he sends in swd where he is literally laughing and giggling like a school girl saying how he misses us IT’S GEN CRAZY omfg im getting nostalgic remember the bitter coffee msg where the more bitter the coffee is the more the person who made it for you loves you omfg
part of me misses og obey me and then i go into nightbringer and see how much easier it is to get tickets and.. LMFOAOAO only thing that makes me die inside about nightbringeris #1 THE FACETIME CALLS LFMAKOAAOOAOAOAO OH YM GODDDDD (/hj) and #2 the fucking skill requirements 😭😭 as much as i hate it it’s actually a really good design choice bc previously raising the skill of a card was practically completely ignored and not necessary at all, it was sooo ignored it was gen crazy i remember it sm so at the end of the day as much as it’s a FUCKING PAIN it gives the skill mechanic way more purpose and stuff also it’s pretty rewarding when i finally fucking get my lucifer anniversary ur to skill level 5. 😐 or when i can’t make a card 5 starred because i don’t have skill level 2… or when i can’t get the PREMIUM IMAGE BECAUSE YOU NEED SKILL LEVEL 2 TO GET IT.
thankfully i saved my ur+ skill level up cards and i was able to get both Lucifer’s anniversary premium image, his naked one as well as barbatos’s naked one (yay!!!!! :3) this turned into a complete silly rant pardon my ignorance dear chap 🧐 (satire i promiseHEKPP)
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satoruhour · 1 year
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do you have any headcannons for gojo comforting reader when they start their period? (If i already sent this ask, ignore the first one! i couldnt remember if i asked this already or not)
a/n: hi darlaaa thank you for waiting teehee i love the gojo asks you’re giving me / i tried to keep it as general as possible even tho i only use pads! gn!reader, a little brief n*sfw at the end
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i think we have all established that gojo is actually like . crazy in love with you and because of that he hates that you’re hurting so much bc of it :(
gojo likes to be at your command (even on normal days but) so he’s noting down every small thing you mention
“a tub of ice cream would sound so good rn…” or “think im running out of heat pads”
and he’s on his feet instantly. when youre sick or on your period he just declares it an off day, or at least on the first day when it’s the most painful
doesn’t really care about blood since he’s seen his fair share but he sometimes panics if your period comes during the night and he sees that the sheets are red
gojo lightly turns you over and sees that it’s coming from your centre and breathes a sigh of relief bc he’s had one too many nightmares about you getting bloodied and torn to shreds by a curse and he’s too late to save you
anyway. enough of the dark stuff, you freak out the first time you stay over and your period comes (the timing is so shit truly) bc his sheets are so expensive and you just “oh my god i just ruined my chance w this beautiful man”
but gojo doesn’t bat an eye, rather jumps up to comfort you, rubbing a soothing hand over you before you head over to the bathroom to clean up
a bit of blood got on him tho, thru cuddling and gojo makes a joke about how you’re “marking” him and you just roll your eyes and shove him away with a smile lol
he gives you everything you need to clean up most of the time and lets you do your thing
doesn’t let you change the sheets w/ him and rather makes you sit down to watch him, as with other things
changing the channel? gojo is there to do it. u want another snack from the pantry? he’s teleporting that short distance in his house because he doesn’t want you to feel that disgusting rush of blood whenever you stand up. hes so dramatic i swear
has made pms jokes before but he’s changed and he’s a better man now fr. gojo has gotten a lecture from utahime and then didnt take it seriously and then REALLY got told off by shoko after 💀
now whenever you’re moody he just shuts up and comforts you quietly <3
gojo willingly straps on those devices that mimic period cramps and then just when he wants to boast, you turn on the device to the highest setting (he told u to give him ur all) and he SCREAMS the most high pitched shriek ever it’s hilarious
tricks yuji into trying it out and poor yuji gullibly smiles even when gojo hasnt explained what it’s for and the way yuji grits his teeth omfg. you swear you hear sukuna ask gojo to never fuckin do that again
never disrespects you again
reluctantly gives you his sweet things 😭 he gets a little sad when he returns from a mission and his cheesecake is gone and you’re just sitting in front of the tv going “what?” LMFAOOO
he loves you too much however and lets you do whatever!
praises you even MORE during this time it’s kinda adorbs lol — “oh! you worked out on your period, love that for you, darling!!!!”
“my baby stood up from the couch! yaayyy!!!” he’s so annoyingly cute bye
learns so much about your favourite pad and tampon brands but also has that first time funny moment where he calls you and says “babe what size pussy you have?” and 😭😭
memorises the lengths/thickness and different uses but sometimes he still buys the wrong thing (it’s ok he’s cute enough that u forgive him)
has the biggest gasp when he finds out some brands put in chemicals to make ppl w/ vaginas bleed more so they buy more sanitary products
is fully motivated to go to the offices to protest 😭😭😭
buys SO MANY packets of sanitary products and just makes the excuse of “i’m rich“ and “doesn’t hurt to have more of it in case you run out”
you gesture incredulously, “yeah but not TWENTY PACKETS????? ARE YOU INSANE?”
your sweet boyfriend is just worried for you
gives the higher-ups shit cause they make you go on a mission while on your period and it’s so disgusting to exercise, much less exorcise and run around on a mission and tells them he’ll take it instead.
gojo doesn’t tell you he did tho, just comes home a little later than usual to find u already asleep
would love to make u soup but we’ve also established he sucks in the kitchen so … he just buys you those soup packets from the soup spoon and tells you he made it himself
you believe him once. and then the next day u catch an email notifying him more packets of soup is coming the next morning 💀
you two ended up eating soup for the next few days
tells you about his missions or days if you don’t want to say or do anything. he can talk your ear off for hours and you’re glad for that but sometimes you slip in little hums or nods and he can’t help but smile hehe
gojo rubs his hand on your tummy and womb when it hurts :( it’s endearing :((
sometimes also asks you if you’d like it on your core if it hurts, and his hand cupping your cunt feels nice at times.
also wiggles his eyebrows too much asking if you need his help to cum or something bc he heard it calms cramps LOL
suggests helping you to rub one out if you want but really it all depends on you if you want it <3
all in all a very sweet guy to be around and sometimes you have to tell him to quiet down cause he’s a little too hyper but he takes care of you extensively :3 you’re his baby !!!!
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aerialflight · 17 days
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fic rec list (in other words, i need a list for my neurotic brain and its obsessions, f me)
Yeah, everything said above. also, the deadpool and wolverine brainrot is real. i only watched it a week ago. nfeiwofpewafe.
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[Deadpool and Wolverine] (i'm still desperately searching for more. i just need a list for the ones that won't leave me alone fyufivuohbjl)
How To Pay For Rent 💸 by fictionfeast
Ship: Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson (i still can't believe this is the ship name, they actually put worst wolverine as a specification. it's such a unique dynamic and relationship that we NEED that differentiation. amazing.)
To pay for rent, Logan and Wade take odd jobs on Craigslist.
(listen, LISTEN. just from the fact craiglist is involved, you KNOW it's gonna be off the walls crack and hilarity. i swear, this fic went in directions i never in a million years would've predicted, it's amazing. the voices for these characters are impeccable and i, too, would like to shake deadpool like a snowglobe so some goddamn honestly will barf out. logan, you have my sympathies. please read, i'm literally going insane.)
shattered glass by anarkissed
Ship: Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson
At first, Wade is pretty sure it all starts with the bullet- the one Logan had held in his teeth and spit out like it was a prize. Or maybe it starts in the Honda Odyssey. Or maybe it had started way back with Logan's smile. That first sardonic one when they'd met. Or maybe it's the way Logan is always staring at him. Or maybe- "I think you're enjoying this too much." "Maybe you're not enjoying it enough." It’s more bite than kiss, more claim than caress, but it’s their mouths connecting all the same, and Wade gasps, hoarsely, as blood wells up from his lips and Logan tongues it away like it’s his god-given right. Oh, oh oh, oh- he’s crazy. He’s so crazy. Wade has never wanted anyone so badly in his entire life. Wade tries to figure out where whatever he has with Logan started. (And he's kind of hoping he never has to see how it ends.)
Part 1 of dying engine (poolverine/deadclaws)
(i'm not fucking kidding when i say this is my favorite d&w fic. i want to gnaw this in my mouth and develop vampire canines as i sharpen them every fucking reread. there are passages here that i reread like a fucking lunatic and i use the find in page option for the word 'crazy' just so i can go to my favorite part. and the fact there's a freaking part 2? that has logan's pov in it??? and it makes me feel just as unhinged??? it makes me want to go apeshit. please read. for the love of god.)
how easy you are to need by Patricia_Sage
Ship: Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson
Wade smiles when the doctor opens the door. "Hi, we have a vet appointment at 2:00. Please tell me he doesn't have rabies because I have been scratched and bitten plenty." *** Logan gets treatment for adamantium poisoning. Wade helps.
Part 2 of he has risen, babygirl
(i fucking CACKLED reading this, omfg. also, wade's version of helping is both sweet and freaking hilarious, i love this idiot so much. and this fic! addresses the fact logan probably has ptsd medical trauma and i love that. it's hardly ever addressed and i appreciate how it's shown here. also, it's a series! part 1 is great too, you don't need to read it to understand part 2 though, dw.)
Void by RovingOtter
Ship: Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson
After a week without contact, Logan leaves Wade a weird voicemail.
(i'm religiously checking in on this for updates. i know the summary doesn't say anything, so i'll say it here. logan becomes aware of the fourth wall and it's so fascinating??? a genuine look on what happens if the wolverine becomes aware that he's a fictional character and the exploration of that premise here is *chefs kiss* delicious. and how wade reacts to it and how they both deal with the aftermath of this development is so interesting and god, i NEED to know how this fic will go. genuinely one of those fics that have a premise i've never thought about before and it's GLORIOUS!)
where soul meets body by Edgebug
Ship: Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson
"I'll probably see you around?" "Probably not," Logan says, something in his spine still shaking even now, and Wade looks at him with those huge dark eyes that look--hurt, maybe, heartbroken, and Logan knows he has to get up and leave before he can't. Each step is agony increasing, the thing in his spine trembling ever-harder and then Wade calls his name and he stops, turns, sees those eyes again; pleading, desperate. A rush of emotion slams into his hindbrain, it feels half foreign and half his own; don't do this can't do this without you please stay please stay stay stay stay let me stay stay stay "Come home with me," Wade blurts out, and Logan finds that he's taken steps toward Wade without realizing it, closing the yawning gap between them, and the thing in his spine relaxes just a little. "Okay," he says. (In which something very interesting happens underneath the Time Ripper, and Wade and Logan deal with the aftermath.)
(they vulcan mind melded and now can't live without the other. i just love this author's writing and i read every one of their d&w fics. i'm in love with their characterization of not just d&w but the rest of the cast as well! and the banter and genuinely fun interactions between d&w has me kicking my feet and giggling like a school girl. please read, i totally recommend this fic and the rest of the author's other fics XD)
your fool in this game for two by abillionstars
Ship: Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson
“Have you ever lived with anyone before?” At Wade’s question, Logan pauses to think. Scratches his balls for a second, and says, “I lived at Xavier’s school for a while, before I left. Lived in a clapboard boarding house about seventy years back. A couple of times, I slept in a park with other people nearby. Do those count?” “That was a rhetorical question,” says Wade. “Some might even call it an accusatory one. Mostly because—dude. I’m a fucking mess. But you’re even worse.” (two loser loners, falling in love.)
(this is crack. the peak of romance, the very height of big squishy feelings. it's perfect. god, i am utterly trash for this fic, it's so fucking good fnewiofpew)
Love You All Over by FinelyDressedSpacemen
Ship: Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson
The bad guys have love spells now, apparently. Logan gets nailed. Wade tries not to. With great power over your sexiest friend comes great emotional responsibility.
(where wade tries his best to respect logan and logan makes this, so freaking hard for him lmao. lovesick logan is truly the most flirty version of wolverine and it's incredible. it's like if hugh jackman himself is trying to romance the shit out of you. wade really is the stronger person, incredible. anyway, this was a joy to read and if you like musicals, this is definitely for you <3)
I'm the worst at what I do by Thestarvedghost
Ship: Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson
Logan finds out from Wade after everything is said and done, universes saved and friends met, that most hims across the multiverse have some sort of memory issue, one way or another. Logan wishes he was that fucking lucky. He remembers it all.
Part 1 of No end and no beginning
(i recommend this entire series, the progression on d&w's relationship has me singing! it's so sweet and fluffy! well, as fluffy as 2 murderous, self-hating bastards can be anyway lol.)
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[Dimension 20] (Fantasy High, A Court of Fey and Flowers, A Crown of Candy)
interchange by fangirl_squee
Fandom: Fantasy High
Oh, the Bad Kids? Yeah, in that group they have [checks notes] a pirate cleric, a goblin bard, a Helioic fighter, an elven barbarian, a tiefling rogue, and a half-orc wizard.
(it's so interesting how different yet the same the bad kids are even with their class changes. man, the idea of fabian being a freaking cleric still makes me want to cackle. he'd be so much more Exasperated by the bad kids, especially freshman fabian X'D. also barbarian adaine has my whole fucking heart.)
yeah you held me the whole way through, when i couldn’t say the words like you by zedif_y
Fandom: Fantasy High
Ship: Riz Gukgak/Fabian Aramais Seacaster
When Fabian is ten, his Papa tells him the story of how he married his mother. It’s a gory tale, one that involves a cut eye and bodies hitting the deck. He tells Fabian of a love that sent him to his knees, that leads a man like him– fearsome and powerful, the greatest pirate to ever live– to start a family. A love that gave him Fabian. --- A study on Fabian, grief, and, ultimately— love.
(an exploration on fabian's idea of what love is. god, it's so well written. i love this fic and absolutely recommend it! <3)
white knuckles by thathastu
Fandom: Fantasy High
Ships: Fabian/everyone (but all unrequited)
His ex-fling’s little sister. Two people in committed relationships who also happen to be in the same mega famous rock band. A heartbroken lesbian who doesn’t want to be involved with men in any way. And Riz fucking Gukgak. Fabian Aramais Seacaster, son of Bill Seacaster, finds himself falling for all of his friends.
(seeing the bad kids through fabian's eyes made me realize why the bad kids would be considered attractive to people who know them! it's so sweet how much fabian cares and pays attention to them and the constant feeling of 'oh no oh no' both made me want to laugh and coo at him lmao)
life in a wallflower garden with my friends by sickoflosiingsoulmates for lesbiansweetflips
Fandom: Fantasy High
Ship: Ayda Aguefort/Figueroth Faeth
This is what Ayda has spent her entire life searching after. This is what she built the friendship section in the library in hopes of, what she spent long, lonely nights dreaming of. A night with a friend, a true friend, laughing and talking about nothing in particular. [or, ayda finds friends in the bad kids]
(ayda has friends! ayda has frieeenndss!! i'm so so in love with her and this fic is so fluffy and sweet! gah, instant shot of endorphins, guarantee!)
allies and fealty, or, on finding the first knight of the new Court of Craft by fangirl_squee
Fandom: A Court of Fey and Flowers
Ship: Binx Choppley/Captain K. P. Hob
The enemy of my enemy is kind of my friend. Or something.
(i'm always a sucker for rare pairs and man, this is something i didn't even know i wanted. i love how slowly and carefully they build trust in each other, especially binx who is so secretive and initiated this relationship in the first place. by the end, i completely bought this ship and the potential for it.)
I've walked a fragile line and I've fallen down by jadeandquartz
Fandom: A Crown of Candy
Anger is burning in Lapin’s chest. It is bitter, and it is bloody, and it shines brighter than any Bulb the church might care to invent. Normally, he leaves his emotions be. He cannot afford to let feelings drive him forwards. Remaining logical is the only safe way to play the game of politics - and if you do not play it safe, you die. And if you die, then what was the point? But nothing about their predicament is normal. So, fuck playing the game safely. Fuck that. The world will not play safe with the lives of those he loves. *** In which Belizabeth Brassica is looking for a heretic, and Lapin confesses to his apostasy to protect the House of Rocks.
(one of the first crown of candy fics i read and i never looked back. lapin survive stories makes me so feral and god i love this cantankerous bunny so so much fnewiofewp)
to leave this all behind (halo round his head) by grumpyhedgehogs
Fandom: A Crown of Candy
Lapin blinks slowly at Brassica as she steps up to the bars of his cell, the guards splitting around her like so much water over a stone. He inclines his head, trying for regal and probably failing. “Heretic.” Her voice grates against his eardrums. “You have awakened.” “Zealot. You haven’t killed me.” Lapin replies, dry.
(another, much longer fic where lapin survives and i'm so in love with how much detail and fantastic characterization this fic has, not just for lapin but for the whole cast! the day i stop loving the lapin survives trope is the day i die.)
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[The Terror] (yeah, i know, extremely random, and yet here we are. it's due to this animatic here that i was introduced to this show in the first place. def recommend both the show and this artist *thumbs up*)
I'll be Homeward Bound in Time by clandestinegardenias
Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames
Back in the Arctic, stuffed two to a sleeping sack and trying to keep each other alert, he and James used to name every good type of thing they would eat when they got back, knowing–as they thought–the time would never come. 'Cream puffs', James had sighed one frigid night in a partial feverish delirium. Francis could hardly see him but for the lightest starlight, yet he had heard the smile evident in his voice all the same. That close, he had nearly felt it. --- Hailed as heroes on their miraculous return to England, Francis and James fail to cope, but nonetheless manage to fall together.
(i love how warm they are here, how clearly these two depend on one another and find joy despite the fact london is trying it's best to stamp out this closeness. post-rescue is always such an interesting time where they get to reflect and be traumatized by what happened in the arctic and the lack of understanding that is found when they go home. it's done so well here and man, i just love these two together. the ship that sails their ships lmao)
death is a sailing ship by Maleann
Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames
"James had died knowing that his heart, the core of his very being that no biographer would ever know, would carry on in Francis Crozier. Would be protected, cherished even, because Francis deemed him worthy of such care. Oh, how he had loved Francis then. He had been at peace with this being his last living thought. It’s his only thought now. In this undead life, his love has nowhere to go."  ___ James Fitzjames wakes up in the Afterlife. It looks strangely similar to his cabin on Erebus. (Updated with amazing artwork by Marella!)
(the fic is so!! kind!!! to all its characters! and fitzjames is in full form here, i love how it's him that's trying so hard to take care of his men, despite sir john and his lack of empathy. to have fitzjames damn what is proper and trying to do his best as always even in the freaking afterlife, god. you can just see how much fitzjames changed from the beginning of the show to his end in this fic. how all the characters changed, really. every character here is given room to heal and face the consequences of their actions and there were moments that it seriously made me cry. this is my fave fic in this entire list, it just does an amazing job of showing compassion to all its characters and i love it.)
there but for the grace of- by TheGoodDoctor
Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames
“I wish you would stop being such a martyr,” a languid voice says quietly, drawling as well as a man can with two missing molars and a glassy, bloodshot eye, leaking all the while from open chest wounds. Francis is rather impressed with his dedication to the role, somewhere under the roil of fury and exhaustion. “You know as well as I do that you could have this bed sometimes, if it didn’t suit you to stomp about with blacked eyes and a put-upon expression.” “And what should we do with you all the while, Commander,” he says, all on a great sigh, “wrap you in sailcloth already? Come, man, you’re either well enough to cease bleeding on my sheets or too ill to get out of them, you can’t have it both ways.” “Francis,” Ross began, “I did not undertake to accept the position of second on Franklin’s expedition for you, as you asked.”
(this fic scratched a brain itch i didn't even know i had. it's so interesting to think about, the idea of crozier not being on the expedition and instead being the person who rescues them instead. fitzjames and crozier actually developing a relationship based on this premise, without the shared trauma, is so so intriguing to me and i wish i had more of this. also, the fact crozier is so much more mentally healthier than canon due to ross makes me want to laugh and cry. god, if only.)
out of the sea came he, still hid in mist by dazydaisy for shortcrust
Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames
You make bargains you cannot keep. You make promises you plan to break. You give things that are not yours to give.
(a haunting, magical realism fic that feels like a gothic fairy tale. exactly my kind of fic! and if it's yours? definitely a good read *thumbs up*)
At Civil Twilight by lieutenant_iceberg
“Well,” said Francis. “Jopson, will you see what you can do with this three-year-old peace offering? A cup for each of us, and one for you.” “Sir,” said Jopson, collecting one of the bags. “You’ll be up all night if you take coffee now.” “I’ll be up all night anyway. Go, Jopson, go.” When he was gone, Francis got up from the table, and they stared into the depths of the bag together. Finally, Francis cleared his throat and said, “All right, then, James. How have you fared since I hit you?” A few days after Carnivale, Crozier and Fitzjames make a faltering attempt to talk things over.
Part 1 of Civil Twilight
(oooh, the very start of their friendship! how to make peace when their entire relationship is based on animosity and contempt! the dialogue and characterization of these two in this series is so good and i absolutely recommend!)
rebuilding by wildcard_47 for 20thcenturyvole
Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames
Once they stepped ashore, a fey dark-haired man burst through the crowd a few heads down from Jane Franklin. When Fitzjames saw his brother, he startled, and when Will surged forward in the first press of the crowds around the returned—elfin face wet with tears as he swept James into a fierce embrace—only then did Fitzjames release his grip on Francis’s arm. Only then did Francis feel as if he could step away at last. Written for the 2023 Fall Fitzier Exchange, for the prompt: "Post-canon AU where, once they get home, Crozier and Fitzjames are riddled with guilt and trauma, and deal with their feelings by throwing themselves into caring for the surviving men..."
(i'm always so fascinated by post-rescue stories that actually deal with the aftermath, the logistics of it all. how the characters struggle to handle their own traumas, how they help one another through their experiences, all of it. and how both crozier and fitzjames step up for their men even now, even when they're no longer captains in the arctic and have to deal with london and all it's trappings. this fic handles all that so very well, i love it <3)
As Bullet Speaks to Gun by pointyshades
Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames, Thomas Jopson/Edward Little
Against all odds, they are rescued. Cornelius Hickey is court-martialed for his mutiny, and the whole mess of the expedition is unfurled in front of the public. With their names being dragged through the mud, Francis Crozier and James Fitzjames reach out to each other. Meanwhile, Thomas Jopson seeks revenge for what he believes is his captain's betrayal, and Edward Little tries to come to terms with the truth.
(yes!! edward little my beloved gets to shine here! and jopson is so bitter and angry and messy, it's great! again, i love fics that tackle what would happen post-rescue and how london would react to it. the trials, both actual and mental, they have to face in order to move on and be happy (oh please oh please) is handled expertly and i love it! crozier/fitzjames ship is a little more background in this fic compared to jopson/little, but honestly? i'm so sucked into the latter ship that it doesn't matter. both ships are written very well here and again, my beloved edward little is glorious in this fic and i love it! you go edward! woohoo!!!)
Principles of Magnetism (a Comedy of Manners) by acaramelmacchiato
Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames
The one where they're married but it's still Victorian times and also it's an accident.
(you don't understand, this fic is so fucking funny. it's so goddamn victorian and sir john is so jane-austen-silly-characters coded. i want to both shake his hand for making this premise happen in the first place, and punch him in his punchable face. and crozier is perfectly characterized here, i can visually picture his disgruntled expressions so clearly in my mind, it's incredible.)
Thaw by orphan_account
Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames, Past Captain Francis Crozier/Sophia Cracroft
Courteous, charming Fitzjames, whittled down to maturity by the North, and being there, very obviously, not as Francis's right-hand man or as his comrade, but as his mate; a soulmate. Sophia had no need to look at Francis’s face, at the discoloration that would have turned one of his blue eyes into the good-coffee brown of Fitzjames's, to know it, so blatant and luminous a thing it was.
Part 1 of A Victorian Soulmate AU
(very interesting fic where one can choose their soulmates, choose who they want to bond with for life. and the fact it's sophia's pov and how she deals with this fact is handled so carefully and full of goodwill. it makes me want to applaud. i love how clear it is that they're grown ass adults willing to discuss and make peace with one another because they're all genuinely good people who want happiness both for others and themselves. this fic feels like a flower that you hold in your hands to admire it's beauty and delicacy.)
And It Is Now, And It Is Here by 20thcenturyvole, pointyshades
Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames
Before the ships are trapped in the ice, James Fitzjames sees a terrible vision of the future, a harbinger of his own death. Before the ships are trapped in the ice, Francis Crozier is visited by a tender apparition, an angel wearing James Fitzjames' face. They are both seeing the same vision. Whether they can heed its warning is another matter entirely.
(when the ghost of your future haunts you, you better believe it changes to the plot. i love the dichotomy of how crozier and fitzjames reacts to ghost fitzjames! it's so interesting and i was on the edge of my seat the entire time i read this. if you want to know how it all ends, please read! i promise this fic is a ride you want to get on.)
Waistcoats! or, Life Before the Passage by sadsparties
Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames, Lady Ann Ross/Sir James Clark Ross, Lt Henry T. D. Le Vesconte/Original Character
Commander James Fitzjames of the Royal Navy is the Best Man that a best friend could ever ask for. A chance meeting forces him to share his arctic expedition duties with one Captain Francis R. M. Crozier, and perhaps other duties as well.
(listen, the terror is a horror show and i both want and need lighthearted fics in order to deal with all the horrors lol. but seriously, this fic was genuinely just fun to read and i love the banter and slowly developing friendship and relationship between crozier and fitzjames! truly the romantic comedy fic in this fandom. XD)
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bellewintersroe · 5 months
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I'm back in your inbox with new ideas! Lol. The guys being left to care for your baby alone for the first time. I feel like this would kinda be both sweet and hilarious. For Malarkey, Chuck, Babe, Shifty, Winters, Luz, Liebgott, and whoever else you wanna add. ❤️
Super cute idea omg, I love this, thank you for your requests!!!
Easy Company x Reader Headcannons. 
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Don Malarkey:
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- okay 1000% is super confident when you’re around, he LOVES fatherhood, he’s so emotionally intelligent and caring that he’s the perfect dad, I can’t stress that enough (for all the men).
- when you leave just for a couple hours the baby’s probs asleep and Malarkey’s calm and content, just chilling, reading the paper and what not.
- That’s until the baby starts crying, at first he just goes for it, but when he can’t seem to settle your son he’s deffo raking his brain for every single thing he can do.
- Speaks to himself ‘okay, okay. What do I do?’
- would accidentally put the baby’s vest on backwards, or accidentally put his foot through the head hole.
- He doesn’t exactly fret, but he’s a little flustered and clumsy, especially when the baby won’t stop crying for its bottle and Don spills it all over the floor.
- But he wants everything to be perfect for when you come back, so as soon as he hears that door go he’s resting as carefully as he can back on the sofa with your baby boy wriggling resting on his chest.
Chuck Grant:
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- I think after his accident Chuck is a lot more nervous and anxious about fatherhood. He never really worried about it before, he didn’t think about it a whole lot.
- Truthfully he’s scared to be left alone with the baby. He’s confident in his abilities to do day-to-day life tasks now, but due to the slight paralysis in part of his left arm he’s nervous.
- Regardless if he had the accident or not, he’d still be scared.
- Asks you sooo many questions, asks his friends, families, mom, he’s such a caring and good dad really, you’d assure him he has nothing to worry about.
- Deffo stands over your daughter’s crib to make sure she’s breathing. Like he’s checking on her every five minutes.
- Kinda scared of how tiny she is, like he’s scared to pick her up, faces so many irrational fears, but when she starts crying he kinda has no choice.
- He’s sooo reassuring, speaking to her and stroking his hand over her blonde hair.
- Scoops her up SO GENTLY- sosifiwidikwksosksos too cute omfg I can’t.
- but he’s extra fucking careful like with everything, he cradles her head and rocks her carefully.
- figures its not as scary as he thought. So when you’re back from the shop and see this you’re overwhelmed with happiness.
- “hey, this isn’t as scary as I thought!!”
- he’s a mf angel fr (even if he does almost throw up trying to change her dirty diaper).
Babe Heffron:
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- On the topic of dirty diapers. You’ve gone out for the evening with a few of your girlfriends, extremely hesitant, but Babe is confident and assures you that you need to take a night off and he can handle your 3 month old daughter.
- He truly means it, he wants you to have a break- but it feels like the second you step foot outta the door all hell breaks loose.
- Your baby girl’s diaper practically explodes and Babe is positive he can handle it but the second he has to deal with it he’s GAGGING NOOO-
- Probably wraps a shirt around his face and he’s retching the whole time. Panics and gets the diaper on backwards- Bill is the only person that picks up the phone.
- He’s rocking and burping, feeding and soothing your baby but she won’t stop crying as Babe frantically questions Bill.
- “ya should know, you’ve got a whole army of em.”
- Turns out she just wants rocking and a little cuddle and as soon as she settles down Babe feels super proud. Like he smiles to himself so much, kisses her head and keeps her sleeping on his chest.
- Probably doesn’t move for a good 2 hours. If the baby is asleep he doesn’t want to wake her and cause WW3 so he just stays in that position lolllll.
Shifty Powers:
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- He has such a calming presence that your daughter just soothes in his arm immediately. She’s got her dad wrapped around her finger and Shifty will find himself running all around the house
- Deffo cool asf with being left alone with your baby for the first time. He’s a little worried because you two are such a good team.
- I can imagine him sitting on the porch with your baby, holding her close as he points out the different wildlife he see’s running past.
- Probably the type of dad that wants to play with the baby fresh outta the womb, and you kinda have to say; “Shifty, give her two months to develop first.” Lmao
- “Look who’s back? That’s ya mommy, hm? Let’s go see her.” Ugh he’s so sweet and takes care of her so well, like I said he’s so mf calm, cool and collected. Literally like a baby whisperer.
Dick Winters:
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- Similar to Shifty, he’s so mf calm and collected when he’s left alone- except before you leave he’s asking you plenty of questions.
- you kinda have to reassure like ‘Dick, I promise you’ll be fine, he’s not gonna run off anyway and you’re not going to drop him.’
- You’re right, and similar to Chuck he’s checking up on your baby every few minutes, smiling every time your son moves or makes the slightest noise.
- Sooo gentle and so good at keeping to a routine, literally so methodical, checks if he’s hungry, tired, cold, warm, just needs a cuddle?
- He’s even a little smug when you got back. Luckily for you both your baby is already calm, but I can imagine Dick carrying him and just watching down to his peaceful little face feeling so accomplished at life.
George Luz:
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- Same as Shifty but worse, he but wants to play with your kid but he’s literally like 4 weeks old lmao.
- “Don’t worry, babe, I got it all covered, we’re gonna have the best time. Aren’t we?” He reassures before you leave as he speaks to his son (who obviously doesn’t reply).
- Thinks he’s got it all under control but he’s deffo exhausted by the end of it. At first the baby is asleep n he’s speaking to him before he turns over; “you don’t talk much, do you?”
- makes the worse mistake EVER and wakes up a sleeping baby; “c’mon little guy, let’s listen to the baseball.”
- Crying, crying and more crying. George does everything, he literally apologises to your baby for getting him up.
- “Tough life, little guy.” He teases but it doesn’t exactly work.
- George probably gets a little upset when you walk back in and the baby is still wailing. He feels the need to apologise and explain.
- “George it’s fine, he’s a baby he’s gonna cry.”
- Fr tho he’s such a good dad, so present and active in his child’s life.
Joe Liebgott:
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- “Hey, I’m actually really fuckin’ good at this.” Accidentally curses in front of your newborn and slaps his hand over his mouth.
- Thinks he’s the pro at changing diapers and fixing bottles, he wants to do it as much as he can seeing as he has to go work through the week in the day.
- “You want me to read this or some real stories, huh?” Would read a comic book to your son, and it actually works when he goes to sleep.
- Tries to sleep when the baby does, he’s eager to show you that the two of you should start trying for more little Liebgott’s asap!!
- You’re out for the whole night, staying over at a relatives and Joe practically SPRINGS out of bed every time the baby cries.
- Maybe he’s a light sleeper from the war, but it’s just an automatic reaction, hurries over in a slight panic to make sure everything is ok.
- admits later he feels like a zombie by the morning, it creates an even stronger gratitude for you as a mother and he’s honestly so happy your back.
- Never complains about being tired again. He loves spending time with his son as much as possible, even if it is hard work at first, he’s soo fucking good at it that he does convince you to have 400 more children.
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