#some asshole atheist who cheated on her

[percysheliey]

i tried watching the mary shelley (2017) biopic since i’ve read hers, byrons and percy’s biographies and ...... like why was it made

[smok3inm1rrors]

It's Charm son sharing circle time @charmfamily

Darrel Charm Under the cut as it is a bit long.

[ PERSONAL ]

$ Financial: wealthy (While "Charm" is a relatively new name, Minerva is a descendent of one of the coven's founding families so they are very much loaded) / moderate / poor / in poverty ✚ Medical: fit/ moderate (Although physically strong, calling a man who abuses several substances and hardly sleeps fit or healthy is a joke) / sickly / disabled / disadvantaged / non applicable ✪ Class or Caste: upper / middle / working / unsure / other ✔ Education: qualified (Went to regular human college, studied art) / unqualified (If you ask his dad) / studying / other ✖ Criminal Record: yes, for major crimes / yes, for minor crimes / no / has committed crimes, but not caught yet (typical teenage tresspassing in abandoned buildings for parties)/ yes, but charges were dismissed (same incident as Morgyn)

[ FAMILY ]

◒ Children: had a child or children / has no children (If he ever has kids, he wants them far far away from the rest of the Charm clan^tm) / wants children ◑ Relationship with Family: close with sibling(s) (He sees Gemma as the only other sane member of his family) / not close with sibling(s) (anymore) / has no siblings / sibling(s) is deceased ◔ Affiliation: orphaned / adopted / disowned / raised by birth parent (Both Minerva and Papa Charm until 16 and then Minerva alone onwards) / not applicable  

[ TRAITS + TENDENCIES ]

♦ extroverted (An ENFP) / introverted / in between ♦ disorganized / organized / in between ♦ close minded / open-minded / in between ♦ calm / anxious / in between ♦ disagreeable / agreeable / in between ♦ cautious / reckless / in between ♦ patient / impatient / in between ♦ outspoken / reserved / in between ♦ leader / follower (doormat might be a better word for him, most trouble he got into as a kid and a teenager...and a young-er adult was because of following Morgyn around) / in between ♦ empathetic / vicious bastard / in between (A decent confidant and cheerleader when not being an asshole. When being an asshole he's 98% talk and the other 2% he's getting a glass bottle to the face after breaking Kiril Barov's nose ignore that he's missing the scar in that shhh it's a tettoo and I must have took it off accidently Will be elaborated on in stoy if I ever continuing writing it and stop fucking around with the scenery. but the gist is: easily triggered into being an asshole, feels bad about being an asshole, apologizes, wants to stop being an asshole doesn't know how and feels like shit, repeat.) ♦ optimistic / pessimistic / in between ♦ traditional / modern / in between ♦ hard-working / lazy / in between ♦ cultured / uncultured / in between / unknown ♦ loyal (to a fault, bordering if not just outright codependent in some instances) / disloyal / unknown ♦ faithful / unfaithful / unknown / Meh? While he's never physically cheated, his behaviors in past relationships have been...questionable.

[ BELIEFS ]

★ Faith: monotheist / polytheist (The coven has no offical stance on where magic "comes from" exactly, just rules on what you can't do therefore beliefs are varried. Darrel has no concrete stance, but he's leaning in this direction based on personal events) / atheist / agnostic ☆ Belief in Ghosts or Spirits: yes (dealing with such is his main focus. In an earlier draft of the story he was going to be in some knock-off ghostbusters gig run by Jennicor Tricou with an alive Guidry, Chastity Gere, who he was the woman he was texting here (the "her" in text being being Jennicor) and Gunther Munch who despite being just some guy ended up landing a spot as their secretary when you're desperate to move out and will take any job A bit of that whole thing here. EDIT: A character says “sleeping” with and implies the existence of a sex tape, guess that was enough for imgur to give it a warning? Don't ask me about the layout, this is a year old) / no / don’t know / don’t care ✮ Belief in an Afterlife: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ✯ Belief in Reincarnation: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ❃ Belief in Aliens: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ✧ Religious: orthodox / liberal / in between / not religious ❀ Philosophical: yes (and annoying abut it) / no

[ SEXUALITY & ROMANTIC INCLINATION ]

❤ Sexuality: heterosexual / homosexual / bisexual / asexual / pansexual/ ❥ Sex: sex repulsed / sex neutral / sex favorable / naive and clueless ♥ Romance: romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favorable /naive and clueless / romance suspicious / puts the "hopeless" in hopeless romantic ❣ Sexually: adventurous / experienced / naive / inexperienced / curious ⚧ Potential Sexual Partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all ⚧ Potential Romantic Partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all

[ ABILITIES ]

☠ Combat Skills: excellent (With magic) / good / moderate (Without magic, can throw a punch, can not take a punch. Rory is trying to fix that. The sight of seeing someone so good at dueling being utter shit at a physical fights pains her.) / poor/ none ≡ Literacy Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none ✍ Artistic Skills: excellent (piano, guitar, can technically sing, paints/draws) / good / moderate / poor / none ✂ Technical Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor (He's a decent cook, that's about it and don't ask him to do any type of manual labor, he will complain at you) / none

[ HABITS ]

☕ Drinking Alcohol: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / Alcoholic ☁ Smoking: tried it / trying to quit / quit / never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / Chain-smoker ✿ Recreational Drugs: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently (various, mostly weed) / addict ✌ Medicinal Drugs: never / no longer needs takes medication / some medication needed / frequently / to excess ☻ Unhealthy Food: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / binge eater $ Splurge Spending: never / sometimes / frequently / shopaholic ♣ Gambling: never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / compulsive gambler

Bonus because I have free will, songs: X || X || X || X

This took so damn long because I spent my free time trying to figure out how (if possible) to replace trees via .world files and I don't know when to stop.

[liindel]

SmY BEAUTIFUL, PERFECT, AND HANDSOME SON...

my first dnd character!!! his name is Dagnyr and he’s a gnoll warlock!!!! im playing him in my brother’s campaign and the rest of the party absolutely adores him and it’s great. 

More info on him under here

Dagnyr was born and raised by an isolated, atheistic clan in the plains until his mid-teens. His clan denounced senseless violence a long time ago in exchange for a peaceful life as hunter-gatherers. His life changed when a violent clan called The Butcher’s Brood, who slaughters and pillages in the name of the demon hyena god, Yeenoghu, came and demanded alliance with his clan. The clan refused, and The Butcher’s Brood began their slaughter. Dagnyr was the only survivor, barely hanging onto his life after he wandered in the plains for weeks on end. The Raven Queen heard his cries for help, and offered to help him live. In exchange, Dagnyr serves as her warlock to hunt down those who attempt to cheat death...

The clothes in the first image are traditional patterns from his clan, inspired by the patterns found in many African tribes. His staff is a knobkerrie, also inspired by weapons found in African tribes, especially those found in Southern and Eastern Africa. It counts as a quarterstaff, and is both his spellcasting and melee weapon. 

The raven (Ron) was given to him by The Raven Queen, and he uses it to scout, send messages, or even talk through it to communicate to others. Since he has a telepathic connection to it, he can see and hear through it. Ron is super good to have when rping, because in my brother’s campaign the npcs are discriminating against Dagnyr, since, well, he’s technically a monster lmao. 

Anyways, the rest of the pictures are just sketches of Dagnyr and his shenanigans.

1. That’s just a sketch of Dagnyr being cute and happy. I love him so much...

2. A side view of his skull “mask.” It’s from when he was assigned to hunt down this gnoll who tried to achieve immortality, and was, unsurprisingly, an asshole. That gnoll gave Dagnyr nasty claw scars on his face, and after Dagnyr “took care” of the gnoll, he got the gnoll’s skull to cover the scars because he’s that bitch. 

In the sketch to the left of it, Dagnyr’s like the tallest thing in the goddamn room since he’s fucking seven feet tall. It makes everyone else like super uncomfortable, and its a double whamy since he’s a gnoll, so everyone avoids him. He’s almost on the verge of tears in that sketch since it’s the first person to talk to him in like, weeks. He’s a socially awkward little shit so he doesn’t know how to talk to people. Hey, that’s what happens when you live in isolation as an outcast of society...

3.His promotion from his boss. Let’s say The Raven Queen has some pretty shitty employees...

Dagnyr Fun Facts™!

-he has a mandolin on him at all times. he’s super bad at playing it. Ron likes to caw in sync and dance to it when it’s not being controlled by him. 

-he’s a lawful neutral. i mean, if your boss is The Raven Queen, it’s either follow her orders or die if she’s super pissed at you lmao

-he’s trans (like me!) and his clan was super accepting of it. he transitioned when he was young.

-he’s gay (also like me!)

-he can understand and speak Draconic! he learned from a class he took when he was training to be a warlock. He can speak it fairly well, although, he has some trouble with pronouncing super hard words.

-Dagnyr styles his mane. it just doesn’t curl like that naturally

-top of his class during his training. most of his class was fucking around or were too eager to kill without reason. most of them were super mean towards him too since he was the only gnoll there. 

-he has super soft fur. my party can confirm that.

sorry for the super long post but Dagnyr’s my beautiful, bouncing, baby boy and i love him to death!!!!!!!!

[lezliefaithwade]

Faith, Hope & Charity

At Vatican City, I overheard two American tourists with distinctly southern dialects discussing the beggars asking tourists for change.

“You’d think they would do something about it,” the man said to the woman, who nodded in agreement while admiring her recently purchased crucifix.

Visitors waiting for their designated museum times can sit in the square or stroll through any one of a dozen souvenir shops that sell religious artifacts for exorbitant amounts of money. Things that generally sell on Kijiji or Amazon for next to nothing are priced three or four times higher in the square. And these tourists beside me had opted to give their money to thieves in suites rather than beggars in rags. Interesting. I have to assume they were religious; hence, why the crucifix? True, it could have been a gift for someone else, but even so, it seemed so biblical, me sitting at the Vatican beside two reasonably well-dressed people who were loudly condemning the poor.

I’m not against people with a belief. I’ve known some incredibly kind Christians and some indecent ones too. I’ve dated Jews, Greek Orthodox, Coptics, atheists, and agnostics. Sometimes I meet people who tell me they’re spiritual, and I take that to mean that they believe in a higher power but not an organized religion. The thing about organized religion is how desperate they are to recruit you. I’ve made the mistake a few times of accompanying a friend or boyfriend to their church or temple of choice only to be cross-examined at “friendship hour” afterwards.

“Don’t forget to sign the registry” “Be sure to leave your e-mail?” “How did you like the service?” “

I’m always so tempted to say, “I didn’t like the service at all. I thought the little speech in the middle was boring as hell. In the theatre, you’d never be able to get away with so little effort.” In fact, during a few of those boring lectures, I’ve actually wondered what it would be like to review them. Can a person be a homily critic?

Last Sunday at St. Thomas Episcopalian, Reverend Porter spoke on the story of the Good Samaritan in what can only be described as a futile effort to instill any empathy whatsoever. His monotone delivery showed no sign of excitement or interest in the very subject of which he spoke, and his overuse of gesticulation could be better served as choirmaster. I highly recommend any churchgoer avoid this Liturgical season until Easter, when things will hopefully become a bit livelier.

I’ve often made the mistake of expecting more from those who claim to believe. After all, the general consensus (and I don’t think I’m going out on a limb here) is that someone who follows the word of God is most likely going to practice kindness, love, compassion, forgiveness, and understanding.  It’s like a person who boasts of being a great chef and then serves you store-bought pasta with a lumpy Béchamel. “I don’t wish to offend,” you might say, “But do you really expect me to swallow this crap?” If Catholic school taught me anything, it was how rarely one saw the word of God put into practice. Not that everyone was mean, but the “Do unto others…” doctrine wasn’t generously applied. Sadly, more often than not, I’ve often been disappointed by those who claim to be followers of Christ. I think, if Jesus were around today, He’d be disappointed too. Sometimes I imagine Christ with a Twitter account and millions of followers towards whom He’d constantly have to correct in a never-ending stream of tweets like:

“I cannot be held responsible for everything the prophets said,” or “I didn’t even know Leviticus.”

People who have no religious beliefs whatsoever can also be surprisingly horrible. I’m always slightly taken aback when they denounce religion taking the stance that this makes them somehow better than everyone else. I’m easily tricked into thinking they are, then let down when they behave just as badly. These are the people who fight for climate control while driving an SUV. They’re firmly against bullying, then bully you when you disagree with them. I kind of subscribe to the whole: Let he without sin cast the first stone. As advice goes, it’s pretty good.

My belief system runs somewhere between Spiritual Deism with a side of Christianity and a strong desire to be Jewish.  My Jewish boyfriend for seven years reminded me of what it meant to be part of a family, something I always wanted.  I looked forward to Friday Shabbat dinners where we’d gather over brisket and discuss important issues like the colour of the car Bernie was going to buy.

“It’s red.” He’d nonchalantly say while savouring the dinner.

“Red?” his Mother would announce. Fork down, dinner halted. “You’re not a red car sort of guy.”

“What does that mean?” Bernie would ask, oblivious to where this was going.

“You’re a blue car or a gold car-- not red. You’re brother here; he’s a red car driver. Mr. Flashy. Mr. Look-at-Me. But you…you’re definitely not red.”

“I can be flashy!”

“Never!”

“Sure, I can.”

“Not going to happen.”

“There are plenty of times when I’ve been flashy.”

“Name one?”

“Aunt Zelda’s birthday party?”

“Aunt Zelda’s birthday party? What are you talking about?”

“I did that impersonation of Lenny Bruce.”

“Oy vey. Shut up and eat your brisket. And tomorrow, change the colour of your car.”

My first husband’s father, Ezzat, was completely the opposite. A proud Egyptian, he’d grill me over dinner with questions like, “Do I or do I not ALWAYS ask you about your father?” to which I’d cautiously reply, “Well…I wouldn’t say always.” The next thing I knew, I was being called a liar, and he’d refuse to cross the threshold of my home. Once, while I was still suffering from dry sockets after having my wisdom teeth removed, he blended lamb, lentils and carrots together in what can only be described as vomit. It was a lovely gesture, but he was deeply offended when I couldn’t drink/eat it. I offended him a lot. Looking back on old journals, it strikes me now that no fiancé in the history of the world was more disliked. At night I’d pray, “Dear God, what have I done to make everyone hate me?” And all I heard back was, “Who’s everyone?”

Christian or not, it isn’t easy being a good person. When people run a stop sign, then give me the finger when I honk, I’m apoplectic, ruminating all day on what an asshole they are. If someone cheats me or slights me or makes me the subject of a lie, I brood and stew, giving away too much power to those who wish to hurt me. I aspire to be most like my father, who was always kind and courteous. Walking down the street in his later years, he would say hello to everyone and mean it. He was genuinely interested in people. I was grateful that he didn’t seem to notice women blanch when he called them “dear” or, after exchanging pleasantries, would leave someone with a “God bless you.” As his dementia grew worse, he appeared to become more and more beatific. Whether playing monopoly or eating a sandwich, he relished every moment accepting his fate with grace. As I sat beside his hospital bed and watched him pass from this world to the next, I believed he was embraced by something.

I think about my friends who have been oppressed yet still find the ability to forgive, celebrating at Baptist churches with a kind of joy I rarely see anywhere. I have learned a lot from my Black friends, and colleagues about what it means to be, if not Christian, then Christian like. I’m humbled by the love I’ve received when I probably didn’t deserve it.  

Hollywood would have you believe that Christians are either assholes or saints, and regardless of which category you fall into, you’ll suffer in the end. The assholes are hoisted on their own petard, and the saints are martyred.  I have a famous writer friend in L.A. who once said to me, “It was easier to come out as gay than Christian in Los Angeles.”

When I was seven, I saw the movie Song of Bernadette based on the true story of a young girl visited by the Virgin Mary. As a result of her miraculous visitations, Bernadette is rewarded with tuberculosis of the bone, suffers terrible pain and eventually dies—all while being persecuted by a nun who is jealous of her visions. At seven, I put two and two together. If that’s what happens to you when you’re humble and devout, then count me out. The last thing I wanted was for God or Mary or Angels to appear before me. And it wasn’t just Bernadette. Saint Afra, Saint Aggripina, Saint Basilissa, Saint Cecilia, Saint Dymphna, Saint Eurosia, Saint Susanna, Saint Juthwara, Saint Noyala, and Saint Winifred were all decapitated for their faith. To make matters worse, Faith was my middle name. What was my Mother thinking when she saddled me with a Christian moniker?  From what I could tell, since the basis of sainthood appeared to be suffering under horrible circumstances, I was eager to abandon the idea of being good altogether.  As long as I had a little larceny in me, I could stave off being burned at the stake or decapitated.  When misbehaving, my Mother would ask, “Why are you so bad?” And I would answer, “So I don’t become a saint.” I could see no situation in which becoming pious was worth it.

Back in the Vatican museum, I stood beneath the Sistine Chapel ceiling with hordes of other tourists feeling a bit like I was in purgatory waiting for judgment. Guards constantly chastised us to be quiet as we craned our necks to catch a glimpse of God. “There’s so much nudity,” I heard someone say, “God doesn’t look like that.” I was tempted to say, “It’s not a photograph. It’s an interpretation.” But I wisely kept my mouth shut. As I stared at the Delphic Sibyl, I remembered the legend: …born between man and goddess, daughter of sea monsters and an immortal nymph; she became a wandering voice that brought to the ears of men tidings of the future wrapped in dark riddles. It sounds like Sibyl might be pretty busy these days. Finally herded outside, most of the people around me had already put Michelangelo’s frescos out of mind. It was just one more thing to cross off their bucket list. Instead, their attention was now on the line-up at the Vatican pizzeria where for 10 Euros you could have a slice with cheese. 2 more Euros, and you could have water add an extra Euro and you could have it blessed.

As my time to visit St. Peter’s Basilica drew near, I lined up like a good little pilgrim to enter the “Holy Door” and passed into the atrium. I didn’t feel the presence of God there, just tourists who couldn’t resist a good selfie in front of the Pieta. Michelangelo’s sculpture masterpiece conveys the sorrow of the Virgin Mary, her right hand clutching her dead son while her left-hand falls limp at her side, resigned. I was contemplating the gesture when the woman beside me asked her friend,

“What do you suppose it means?”.

“Maybe she dropped her cellphone,” her companion quipped, and they laughed. It echoed shrilly through the chamber like hyenas. I sometimes feel the same way about women as I do about Christians. I expect them to be better and disappointed when they aren’t. I’m sure they feel the same way about me.

[spencerberkeley]

ORIGINS & FAMILY:

Full Name: Charles Arthur Spencer Berkeley.

Nicknames: Both parents refuse to call him anything other than Charles. Nora and Camilla both call him Charlie. Some of his old university friends started calling him Spenny to piss him off, and it ended up sticking in those circles. Professionally, however, he is always known as Spencer.

Birthday: August 27th.

Age: 37.

Gender: Male.

Place of Birth: Guildford, England, United Kingdom.

Nationality: British.

Places Lived Since: Fife, Scotland (briefly, during his time at St. Andrews.) Epsom and London, England.

Parents: Catherine Finchley, Alistair Berkeley.

Grandparents: Arthur Finchley (grandfather, maternal, deceased) Olivia Finchley (grandmother, maternal) Baron Orson Berkeley (grandfather, paternal) Cecelia Berkeley (grandmother, paternal) 

Aunts and Uncles: Vivienne Hathaway, Rosalie Romanova (née Berkeley, aunts, paternal), Alexander, William Berkeley (uncles, paternal), Alexandra Finchley-Barrington (aunt, maternal) Rupert Finchley, Sanford Finchley (uncles, maternal)

Number of Siblings: Two younger sisters, Camilla (30) and Nora (32). Had an older brother, George, but he died when Spencer was eleven.

Children: Two daughters, Ailsa Berkeley (4) Rosslyn Berkeley (6)

Relationship With Family: Spencer’s parents divorced shortly after George’s death, and it came as a total shock. None of the children were expecting it because they’d hid the stress of dealing with their son’s illness so well. Spencer definitely dealt with it poorly in comparison to Camilla and Nora, and was incredibly angry at them; mostly because he was expecting them to reconcile and they never did. Catherine and Alistair remain friends. Whilst his mother has since remarried, his father never did, but they all make a huge effort to see each other regularly as a family. Spencer is incredibly close to his father and Camilla, whereas Nora was always closer to their mother.

Happiest Memory: It was a pretty simple vacation to Devon, shortly before his brother got sick. The two boys sat watching fireworks for what felt like hours in Plymouth, talking about stupid things and eating awful food from a van. I think it sticks out as the most memorable for him because it was the last time they were all together as a family. The last time he has a solid memory of George not being ill.

Childhood Trauma: Seeing his brother, George, suffer through leukaemia was about as traumatic as it gets. Honestly, he’s still pretty irrationally angry about losing him, because he was way too good a person to go young. The family doesn’t talk about it, ever, and Spencer is glad. They were always the closest of the siblings—he worshipped the ground George walked on—and the topic is still too touchy.

PHYSICAL:

Height: 6’1”

Weight: 185lbs.

Build: Mesomorph. Well-built, very fit.

Hair Color: Light brown.

Usual Hair Style: Short back and sides, neatly styled on top. Neat, well-maintained stubble for the face. Only goes cleanly shaven for important events.

Eye Color: Blue.

Glasses? Contacts?: Neither. Perfect vision.

Style of Dress/Typical Outfit(s): Spencer is a stylish motherfucker, okay. Looking good is incredibly important to him, and so he puts a lot of effort into it. Three piece suits. Designer watches. He gets shit on by the press for spending too much money on his attire when ‘some people in his constituency can hardly afford to put food on the table’ but that’s one thing he won’t compromise on. Keep trying.

Typical Style of Shoes: Can’t go wrong with a good, stylish pair of Oxfords.

Jewellery? Tattoos? Piercings?: Always wears a gold signet ring, bearing his family’s crest, on his right little finger. It was a gift from his father after becoming elected. No tattoos or piercings.

Scars: A thin line through his top lip as a result of getting whacked a little too hard in the face by a sparring partner whilst boxing. Still didn’t teach him to think twice about winding his opponents up too much. Luckily, it kind of suits him.

Unique Mannerisms/Physical Habits: Spencer paces. A lot.

Athleticism: Boxes several times a week to keep fit and kill stress, so if he threatens to beat the shit out of you—which he very well might (but probably wouldn’t follow through on, shh)—then he’s not all bark and no bite.

Health Problems/Illnesses: None.

INTELLECT:

Level of Education: Attended Eton. MSc in Politics and Communications from LSE.

Languages Spoken: English (native) French (intermediate)

Level of Self Esteem: Very high. The fact that he’s in love with himself is not a secret.

Gifts/Talents: Being a raging cunt. Also a top class writer.

Mathematical?: Hugely.

Makes Decisions Based Mostly On Emotions, or On Logic?: Logic. Spencer doesn’t care about anyone’s emotions, and his own are usually included in that statement. He is a master at suppressing them—both the good and the bad—and always has been, particularly when it comes to work.

Life Philosophy: “You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.” - Quote courtesy of his second political hero, Margaret Thatcher. 

Religious Stance: Atheist.

Cautious or Daring?: Incredibly daring. That being said, he’s had to tone down the ‘I don’t give a fuck’ attitude since becoming an elected representative, as he realises the consequences of his actions are a lot more scrutinized now. He can’t get away with half of the shit he used to pull as a journalist.

Most Sensitive About/Vulnerable To: His kids. The press can hack his personal life to shreds all they’d like, but the girls are off-limits.

Optimist or Pessimist?: Pessimist.

Extrovert or Introvert?: Extroverted in personality—he’s about as outgoing as it gets—but he does so whilst sharing little about himself as a person.

RELATIONSHIPS:

Current Relationship Status: Single.

Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual.

Past Relationships: Many very brief liaisons recently—enough for the media to drag him for it on multiple occasions, and for his personal life to become their main negative focus. But Spencer’s only real relationship came in the form of his marriage to Evelyn Whitmore. They met whilst he was in his final year of LSE, and were together for four years before marrying. The marriage lasted seven more, during which they had two children: Ailsa and Rosslyn. Evelyn left him when he stopped the journalism to become involved with politics, himself. She said it ‘changed’ him, and even though she’d tried, she couldn’t be with him anymore. It hurt because he definitely loved her more than he considers himself capable of doing again, but he has moved on. Spencer is not about pining. Not even for her.

Primary Reason For Being Broken Up With: Is an insufferable asshole. Hugely unsociable working hours.

Primary Reasons For Breaking Up With People: Boredom.

Ever Cheated?: Nah.

Ever Been Cheated On?: More than likely.

Level of Sexual Experience: If there’s such a thing as too high, then it’s that.

Story of First Kiss: A girl Spencer met whilst his family holidayed in The Maldives. They were both fifteen and her father chased him all the way down the beach when he caught them. He never saw her again, and can’t even remember her name, but still laughs when he looks back on the memory.

Story of Loss of Virginity: Spencer was seventeen, and he hooked up with his sister’s best friend, a year his junior, after he picked the girls up from their prom. Nora had threatened to beat the shit out of him. They briefly dated for a couple of months, but he soon got bored because she was fucking vacuous. Nora never got over it, and the relationship with her friend was never the same.

A Social Person?: Absolutely. Spencer feeds off social situations, and would implode if he didn’t have someone to rant to. That being said, he’s incredibly selective about those he’s social with, because most people annoy the shit out of him.

Most Comfortable Around: Honestly, he’s comfortable around few. Spencer is constantly waiting for someone to stab him in the back, because politics is nasty and that’s just how the game goes. Comfortable around his family. His assistants, Val and Pippa. Cassie, Jess and Gideon. Wished he still had Harrison, too.

Oldest Friend: Jack Bronson, an old friend from Eton, who now works as a junior political correspondent for the BBC. The brotherly relationship means a lot to him and sustained his sanity after losing George. Even though he could exploit the connection, he tends not to unless absolutely necessary.

Enemies: Adam Hassan. Fuck that bitch. Spencer is still convinced he tried it on with his wife (who was and still is working as his PA) whilst they were married, and he’ll never forgive him for that, or the fact he’s Labour and she let him.

How Does He Think Others Perceive Him?: Obnoxious. Blunt. Aggressive. An absolute royal asshole.

How Do Others Actually Perceive Him?: All of those things. Luckily, he’s too good at his job for them not to keep him around anyway.

SECRETS:

Life Goals: Foreign or Home Secretary sounds pretty good to him.

Dreams: To retire from political life with his reputation intact. For his kids not to hate him. Move into consultancy work. Make a fuck load of money. Own a yacht just so he can tell people he owns a yacht.

Greatest Fears: Elevators.

Most Ashamed Of: In all honesty, Spencer has very little shame. Maybe a little in regard to his conduct because he feels like he might be disappointing his mother? Aside from that, nah. You don’t work the way he works if you have shame.

Secret Hobbies: Painting. He never much considered himself an artistic person, but after attempting a mural on the wall of his kids’ bedroom at his place (with their help, of course) he actually picked it up as something to do in his very limited down time. He’s not amazing, but he definitely enjoys it.

Crimes Committed (Was he caught? Charged?): Aside from some illegal drug taking, he’s clean.

DETAILS/QUIRKS:

Night Owl or Early Bird?: Both. What is sleep?

Light or Heavy Sleeper?: Very light. Always rolling around expecting a phone call about some political disaster, or is too distracted thinking about work to fully switch off.

Favourite Animal: Snakes.

Favourite Food: Halloumi.

Least Favorite Food: Apples. General salady food because health is overrated.

Favourite Book: The Prince – Niccolò Machiavelli

Least Favorite Book: Does The Communist Manifesto count? Wouldn’t wipe his ass with that shit.

Favourite Movie: The Departed.

Least Favourite Movie: Fight Club.

Favourite Song: Hysteria – Muse.

Favourite Sport: Rugby. He would support England to the ends of the Earth. Also quite likes watching basketball.

Coffee or Tea?: Coffee.

Crunchy or Smooth Peanut Butter?: Neither.

Type of Car He Drives: Has an Aston Martin Vanquish, but God forbid he drives it anywhere. There would be less public backlash if he just set fire to a poor person in the street. Most of the time he tries to be a good MP and use the peasanty public transport. If not, he has a Mercedes Benz E-Class that’s just old enough not to offend.

Lefty or Righty?: Left-handed.

Favorite Color: Black.

Cusser?: If he’s not cussing, you need to be worried. Every other word is typically a curse with this asshole. Accept it.

Smoker? Drinker? Drug User?: Yes. Excessively so. Less so since becoming a father, but that doesn’t mean he won’t enjoy a line every now and again if he’s in certain company. Cocaine brings people together, guys.

Biggest Regret: No point wasting time regretting things.

Pets: Three goldfish he recently won at a fair with his girls. Even he wasn’t heartless enough to flush them. Rosslyn named two: Sparkles and Big Mac. He named the third Malcolm Tucker after his personal political hero, and is permanently disappointed that he still hasn’t eaten the fuck out of the other two. Often talks to them about political policy when he’s too stressed to deal with actual human beings. Thus far, they haven’t answered back.

[book-review-and-impression]

The Trouble With God- by William F. Aicher

This entire post will include spoilers (below the cut) and my thoughts on the book itself. 

Going into this, I have no experience reading anything from this author. This book was recommended to me on Amazon and so I looked at it and investigated it and the responses to it. It appeared that this book was a hit or miss for people but there was generally good feedback.

My initial impression without reading the book was that it sounded incredibly interesting. The mystery behind why a priest would be targeted and killed seemed intriguing to me. The philosophy in the questions typed at the bottom of the summary also grabbed my attention. The cover of the book was simplistic but served its purpose. Personally, I actually quite rather like the design.

When I began reading this book, I was confused as to why the first chapter was put in. It was definitely intriguing, but it put emphasis on how short that chapter was. I would have preferred if it was longer but it is what it is. And then there was the theme of having it each day which made the first chapter actually make sense. Then I got to the second chapter; which you could say is the actual beginning/opening of the book? And then my reaction was just: why are the chapter so short? Flipping through I noticed how many chapters are there and that is just unnecessary but whatever, author’s choice and I will roll with it. 

The character, Steven, is introduced to us. Most of the time the main character should be liked but I really do not like this character. He has to defend why he has a beer in the shower and why he uses his girlfriend’s shower items to himself, but no one asked and I personally was not questioning it to begin with so why was there elaboration on his reasoning? Steven is also a work-over-personal life type of guy, which I can respect but then he’s also an asshole (for lack of a better word) to those in his personal life. His relationship with his girlfriend is just so full of tension and throughout the majority of the book I was just thinking “why are they together still?” I do like how their relationship sort of developed though.

We also get the cop, good ol’ best friend to Steven who gives him hot leads and is a one-dimensional character with basically no development. Also, how is he getting away with giving information like that to a reporter? The dude should be fired, honestly. And the dialogue he has with Steven is awkward... no one speaks like that so it sounded very generic and did not flow well but then again all of the dialogue was like this.

Then there is Karen, the bitchy girlfriend. Honestly, why were Steven and Karen still in a relationship together? She’s always yelling for no reason (is this how the author thinks women are like-- because there are only three female characters 1) a woman with shitty hair 2) a woman who doesn’t know how to mind her business 3) Karen). There is a scene where she goes out with John Paluniak and throughout it she is basically drooling over him, like honey you have a boyfriend? Like no wonder Steven was wary of you going out with him. And then... Steven actually cheats on her.

As for the writing, was there no editor? There were so many times where there was not a quotation mark and it just yanked me out of the book especially when it was at the beginning of the dialogue. Also some sentences seemed unnecessary especially in between the paragraphs of dialogue. And then there were the monologues that Steven liked to go into: like we get it you’re an atheist, calm down. It was almost like the author wanted to shove down my throat the idea that this book was, in fact, about the concept of God.

Now for the story itself. Whenever Miles and Steven would discuss the killer, they would reach conclusions and it was just like, how the hell did you reach that because you are stretching so much. And literally each person killed was connected to Karen at first (and then Jeffery died way later), so why did no one suspect her? Instead they suspect crusty ass Steven who then suspects himself because he is a budding sociopath (I say that because he does not seem empathetic at all yet he is perfectly mimicking emotion sometimes to fit i with his girlfriend). 

Skipping all the way to the end of the book, why did Steven think the killer was him when he was meeting the killer? Like clearly not if he is right there and you are awake. And then it was saying Karen “found” her lover’s body in the basement... no, she found her lover dying but didn’t find his body, she found him. And how were people going to blame Steven when he got his jaw chopped off, he clearly would not be able to do that himself? Did they think Karen did that? Because that’s brutal.

The epilogue: did Karen find out that Alana fucked her past lover? And how did that relationship even form? They literally talked for like 20 minutes, if that. And I get Karen and Steven had a poor relationship, but homegirl moved on quick. She even has a new child now, like damn. I also would have liked to have seen Miles’ reaction to his friend dying, but alas he’s a one-dimensional character. The ending in general seemed rushed and abrupt. If it was delved into more, it would have been more pleasant. Especially since the killer was never revealed.

This book took me six months to fully get through, mainly because I hated Steven as a person. The plot was good until it was decided the killer won’t be revealed. The writing and characters were all very eh. Like, they weren’t good and weren’t too terrible. I wouldn’t recommend this book, especially with the ending. I only enjoyed like two lines out of this entire book which was “The trouble with being god is god’s not real. But I am” (Aicher 253). And those lines were like the climax of the story too so...

Total rating: three or four out of ten.

[beahina]

(sorry i just saw your tags on a post) what did sixpencee and onion (onison?idk?) do????

sixpencee is a user on tumblr with a lot of discourse (it's hard to explain but to be short, they are ableist and don't source their posts after stealing it, their family owns a child slave or something like that and tried to charge $30 for a one time "therapy" letter and they're not even certified, if it go in the anti sixpencee tags there's more info about t they can explain t much better) but onision is a youtuber who is generally a terrible person. 1) he claims to be a feminist and that all bodies are beautiful n stuff but he would have a forum where mostly underage teenage girls in ususakky revealing outfits ask him to judge them and then he continued into calling them ugly or insulting their bodies?? and then he made a fat shaming vid/song 2) he and lainey (his wife) are 9 years apart, she was 17 when they started dating so he's basically a pe///do because he was like what, 26 or something?? he also is emotionally abusive and manipulative if you see some of their videos, he makes her cry in one of them and she says what he is saying hurts her and he laughs it off like "take a joke!! i'm just joking!!" and he also calls her fat sometimes (in a subtle way, like but still there), and he literally takes pride in being abusive (he knows he's an asshole and manipulative and laughs it off basically) 3) he does shit for views all the time. shane dawson and him used to be friends but shane stopped talking because a) greg (aka onision) is shitty and b) onision once called him fat after they stopped being friends but is trying to do a collab just because shane is now a popular yter and he doesn't care abt his feelings, also he fakes some of his problems (like stalker fans n shit?? like at the end he goes haha it was fake you should have known!!) 4) he's one of those vegans who gets on peoples cases when they eat meat. like some people literally need meat to eat or they'll die. 5) he's "brutally honest" even if it means being an asshole! 6) he is insensitive about death because during manchester bombing everyone was saying "thoughts and prayers to manchester victims and people effected by it" etc and he's like "They're just doing it for publicity!!! if they really cared for people why not start with the _____k of people who die everyday from ___!!!" n stuff 7) i think he cheated on lainey once?? 8) he's an atheist but he's one of those people who try to force it onto people who have a religion. like cool, if you don't think god or whatever exists good for you, but don't try to shit on people who have a religion. that's shitty, stop. 9) he's very anti drugs, and says anyone who has done drugs should die (like there's people who are trying to recover or have recovered from drug addiction so fuck off onision)so basically onision is a terrible insensitive abusive ahole who makes sixpencee look like a angel.

[thejeweledtravelerofsmokedreams]

The Professor

Here are my comments for the Prologue and Chapter 1. I would do more but I’ve burned out this wonderful movie for now. I can always go Chapter by Chapter. Let me know

I like the dark intro. As I believe it has a play feel, hearing the Doctor’s voice in the dark would work on stage too.

It should be noted that the doctor speaking to Richard has Oncology written on his jacket which means Richard was referred to him and was possibly expecting a result for a while now. The Doctor did say the tumors had been there for some time

Now he processes his shock to some lovely classical music and wandering into a pond. Not before going to one of his classes. Hopefully it’s his and gazing thoughtfully out of the window.

Actually I don’t think anyone at a college/university would have noticed if anyone wandered into a pond, swearing and disturbing the swans. I wouldn’t have because of my headphones.

Poor Richard

He sits there for a bit with a look on his face that says. This was a good idea at the time and this pond is gross and I probably have an infection now.

Awkward dinner. In which he plans to tell his truth but everyone else does instead.

First Olivia his daughter. #TeamOlivia. Decides right now it’s a good time to announce she’s gay.

Her mother Veronica laughs (very casually)  and says it’s only a phase. She doesn’t add as a missed opportunity that Olivia is too pretty etc. She’s “an artist”. At least she not stereotype.<– the mother

Richard stands by Olivia forever and is relieved his news his still worse.

Olivia storms out but there isn’t a giant battle about. She did seem surprised by her Mother’s words.

Veronica decided to say HER piece. I’m having an affair with your boss.

Richard while annoyed and grossed out the guy’s third testicle and Henry in general(WHAT?? And EWW!!)

He does have a nice laugh about it.

Also “Have some taste in your infidelity) <— THIS! AND LOL!

She thinks his non reaction to her news and not caring about their relationship makes him an asshole.

I’m not sure what to make of that. Richard’s just a fellow smart ass. 

How did she want him to react?

Again he’s glad his news is worse but he still doesn’t get to tell them.

And he made dinner too. Poor Richard.

The portrait of the person on the wall on the right is silently judging them. Ironically it’s probably Veronica’s “art”

So what’s with the smart ass atheist comment?

I thought maybe more would have come from that. So I’m going to go with Richard’s a Catholic. This explains some things later but not much else.

So Richard is finally teaching a class. Possibly with a headache or something else

I’m really curious what this class is called in the course catalog and the description of it.  It’s clearly not a first year class or really a required one. It’s more for English majors who don’t mind guessing what the Professor made up today.

I believe Rose is talking about Mary Shelly’s mom: Mary  Wollstonecraft who wrote A Vindication of the Rights of Woman (1792).

And here’s a website!

https://www.britannica.com/biography/Mary-Wollstonecraft

We come in the middle of her argument so I’m sure why it started or what’s it about. Poor Rose the bird flying into the window like that.

Richard gets it.

I’ve seen birds do that. I’m surprised no one else has. Sometimes they break their necks sometimes they live. Usually it’s because they see the sky and keep going or it’s symbolic and superstitious.

https://www.auntyflo.com/Superstition-dictionary/spiritual-meaning-birds-hitting-window

Girl with no name who sticks around and is annoyed and judgmental all the time protests about doing nothing for the bird.

Let’s call her Snow White as he REALLY missed the opportunity here, but more than make ups with it with 

“Were you friends with it? Did you know it personally, like, by name?”

Me” LMAO!

GIRL: her face: He’s mean! What’s his problem?

 ME: I LOVE PROFESSOR BROWN! (re watches the scene several more times)

Also note it was a black bird. I guess too much Game of Thrones for me. Dark words/ dark wings but Richard already had the bad news.

HEY Snow White, YOU’RE IN AN ENGLISH CLASS and a bird symbolically crashed into a window!!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

I’m glad I never I phone to go off in class. There I go dating myself.

Here he is kinda of a jerk to Claire about her phone ringing IN HIS CLASS.

But he’s still somewhat nice about it. At least he didn’t tell her to put It on speaker phone.

Now we learn that he’s decided to do over this class and basically kick everyone out he doesn’t care for by encouraging them not to stay.

If you aren’t going to put in the effort, business people (I don’t know why unless some communications people were encouraged to take the class) AND people who’ve never read just because (WHAT???)

Poor girl in sweatpants really wanted to stay. She said she had a cold. She should have said something else like: they only look like sweat pants, it’s laundry day and as it’s not a women’s college I don’t think she can get by with mentioning menstruation. Not according to Richard’s current mood, maybe yesterday.

ALSO Snow White has holes in her jeans and he didn’t say anything about that.....

He mocks those who leave.

Now the plan is to pick a book and explain it and teach it to the class. “persuade your peers of the works importance” That appears to be it. I could do that! Also no essays??! Yay!

Unfortunately to Rose’s horror he bans feminist and queer works. He’s big on not hearing lamenting. Again it this were yesterday maybe that would be the only works allowed.

Also he’s going to drink heavily for the next two days, alone. BYE

He has some martini’s with his friend Peter. He’s trying to get a sabbatical. Typically you are still paid but you don’t work. Often people travel for their specialty or go back to school.

Richard says he’s going to write a book. A smart ass comment but maybe he should.

Then he tells Peter who can’t handle it from the get go.

He likes Peter but Peter can be a bit much sometimes. Richard is ok now. Not totally excepting it but someone knows.

Here is Veronica and Henry.

He of handed says “maybe you could do the whole campus” inference to her possible art instillation  at the college. I understand what he meant but I can’t stop laughing.

Oh and Veronica smokes…..

Any here are Veronica and Richard bonding over some whisky. Apparently she’s cheated before but let’s not worry about that because Richard’s “randomly” gotten some prescription drugs and she’s not the least bit worried about as to why! I’m not sure who to be more worried about now. She doesn’t protest the pills and happily takes them!

Oh and by the way I’m going to cheat now too. He tells her. I guess divorce is too much of a pain. And I’m wondering if he’s Catholic.

Then she asks if it still works

OUCH?!

But’s he’s like I don’t know.

Me: ????? WHAT????? WAIT????…..

“It’s sadly laid dormant for years” at his age maybe I guess. Then I started to wonder if Richard is asexual or demi sexual as to why he didn’t bother to find out. But here he’s all like more pills then. YAY!

Now’s time to meet the girlfriend.Taylor. I personally never liked Taylor. Olivia can do better.

Olivia’s more concerned that her parents are home than hearing glass breaking…..

So basically Olivia is humiliated by her getting along totally stoned parents. And her mother WHO IS TRYING TO HARD! But it’s ok Olivia manages to bolt with Taylor.

Revelation: all their wedding gifts currently in the living room are all hollow. OOH more symbolism but it’s more fun to break them, right?

Somehow they managed to get up stairs. Veronica shouldn’t mix pills and whisky.

Here he seems to still care for her (I don’t know why) as he comforts her than she’s not a bad person.

End of Chapter One

[abanpenguin]

92  statements tag

thanks to @johntenismyotp and my bewitching best friend @thenctscenarios for tagging me, i think? this was a bit of a pain but i did it!!! 

RULES: YOU MUST ANSWER THESE 92 STATEMENTS AND TAG 20 PEOPLE

LAST

1. Drink: Coke

2. Phone call: my dad

3. Text message: from my irl best friend (making fun of Johnny’s outfir from today’s perf. But it is absolutely horrible so it’s understandable)  

4. Song you listened to: carry on my wayward son by Kansas (listening to an old rock playlist)

5. Time you cried: I’m horribly emotionally constipated so it’s been awhile and I’m really not sure when the last time was?...

6. Dated someone twice: nah, don’t really date… relationships aren’t my thing at the moment tbh…

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: like every time I’ve been drunk basically? Probably more than one if I’m being honest…

8. Been cheated on: nope, requires an actual relationship…

9. Lost someone special: I guess?

10. Been depressed: yeah…

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: um… I think so? But I don’t really remember? Maybe that’s answer enough…

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

Emerald green, azure, mint green

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: yes!!

16. Fallen out of love: nope, haven’t been in love so…

17. Laughed until you cried: Even throwing a cum tissue in Isak’s face after fucking and that he would put that in a birthday gift movie is fucking hilarious! Cee you know what I’m talking about! @thenctscenarios

18. Found out someone was talking about you: yeah

19. Met someone who changed you: Cee’s putting in some serious work making me a better person ;D jk! Yes.

20. Found out who your friends are: Y E S.

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: nope! Deleted them thank god…

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: like 95 % (mostly coworkers since I basically only have it for work… )

23. Do you have any pets: an old stinky dog that I love a lot!

24. Do you want to change your name: yes and no? like I hardly ever go by my full name but I don’t really know what else I would go by?

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: I went to work.

26. What time did you wake up: 10:30 I think?

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: … reading fanfiction…

28. Name something you can’t wait for: going to uni in a couple of months and will be moving abroad to do so!

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Saturday last week.

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: myself?

31. What are you listening right now: My Sharona by the Knack

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yes!

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: people who argue when they know they’re wrong, yelling, close-mindedness, relatives

34. Most visited Website: ao3, youtube and tumblr/twitter/IG  

35. Elementary: I was a know it all little shit but terribly shy…

36. High School: graduated to know it all asshole

37. College: learned not to be a know it all asshole

38. Hair color: light brown/dark blond

39. Long or short hair: long

40. Do you have a crush on someone: nope!

41. What do you like about yourself: ummm… I can usually do the things I put my mind to?

42. Piercings: had pierced ears but not anymore

43. Bloodtype: A I think? Like never actually asked my doctor…

44. Nickname: marie, mm, m&m’s, terrible

45. Relationship status: sexy, free and single! I am ready to bingo! (suju playing in the background)

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favorite TV Show: too many to name but at the moment it’s probably Skam (the Norwegian show EVERYONE should watch)

49. Tattoos: nope

50. Right or left: right

51. Surgery: one…

52. Piercing: nope

53. Sport: I swim? Sometimes?

55. Vacation: I want to go to Asia or the US, been to a bunch of places in Europe tho

56. Pair of trainers: sure

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: i don’t eat a lot but I really like dumplings a lot, like a lot and green pesto on like everything…

58. Drinking: coke, water, slushies (free access at work is not good for my diet…)

59. I’m about to: take a shower, I am stinky…

61. Waiting for: the summer to be over and I won’t to go to work at 6 am anymore…

62. Want: meet my internet friends, get my degree and travel the world

63. Get married: nope, never.

64. Career: want to do something with theoretical physics? I think?

WHICH IS BETTER

65. Hugs or kisses: kisses I think?

66. Lips or eyes: lips!

67. Shorter or taller: taller

68. Older or younger: older but don’t care that much

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: arms I think? But it doesn’t really matter…

71. Sensitive or loud: loud

72. Hook up or relationship: hook up (at least till I leave home…)

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: depends on the day but mostly troublemaker

74. Kissed a stranger: way too many times…

75. Drank hard liquor: this and 74. Kinda go together…

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: nope!

77. Turned someone down: yes.

78. Sex in the first date: would probably do that…

79. Broken someone’s heart: yes… knew he had a crush on me, but I wasn’t interested so I basically indirectly told him that I wasn’t interested in being in a relationship with anyone… and then proceeded to get really drunk and make out with two of his friends… dick move, I know… we are really close friends today tho!!

80. Had your heart broken: nope

81. Been arrested: nope

82. Cried when someone died: do animals count? because yes then.

83. Fallen for a friend: nah.

84. Yourself: what does this even mean?

85. Miracles: what? No.

86. Love at first sight: nope, lust at first sight tho? Absolutely…

87. Santa Claus: ?? no.

88. Kiss in the first date: I guess? Would fuck on the first date so? Yeah…

89. Angels: atheist. So…

OTHER:

90. Current best friends name: Tina! You know who you are! And Cee, you too!

91. Eyecolor: dark grey (can look green or blue in some light tho…)

92. Favorite movie: … Deadpool…

i tag: 

@cledritch, @nattergalen, @ohdaddyjohnny, @tengaroo, @darithefanvergent, 

and everyone that wants to do the tag!

[afriendtokilltime]

Guide for New Paladins (Paladin FAQ)

We at the University of Justice would like to thank Professor Hayashi Sayuri for writing up a helpful FAQ for our new students. As she is missing all but one of her limbs, she is the only one on staff who has the time to write it up.. Let this set an example to all our young paladins to always strive to do good, in whatever small ways you can.

Author’s Note: Go fuck yourself, Bartosz.

If, at the end of this FAQ--or even before it--you have any further questions for Professor Hayashi, please drop them in my ask box. (Write “ask Hayashi” or “for Hayashi” or “paladin FAQ” or something so I know it’s aimed at her.)

Q: Can I lie?

Your powers come from your force of personality. What do you think?

Q: Can I use poison?

Yes.

Q: But that’s dishonorable!

You’re a paladin, not a knight.

Q: I’m lawful. Shouldn’t I follow the rules of honorable combat?

No.

Q: I’ve been challenged by a Blackguard to a duel in single combat, and she’s far more powerful than me. What should I do?

Cheat.

Q: Seriously?

Yeah. You’re not a knight. Or a Blackguard for that matter. People expect paladins to be honorable, but we don’t have to, so it’s more surprising when we cheat. It’s an advantage you shouldn’t waste.

Q: Isn’t cheating chaotic?

It can be. A lot of cheating tactics lean toward chaos. If you’ve been cheating a lot in combat, you should be careful to make sure you’re being very lawful in your day-to-day life. Spend a couple days around an actual chaotic person--that should do the trick.

Q: Am I allowed to use ranged weaponry?

What kind of Hoplite shit is this?

Q: Am I allowed to run away?

Are you allowed to use tactics? Yes. Yes you are.

Q: But shouldn’t I stand my ground?

Not if you can escape and fight again tomorrow. Being a paladin doesn’t mean you have to be Stupid Good.

Q: What if there are innocents who will die? I can’t just leave them.

Oh, then you sacrifice yourself. Just don’t do it for nothing.

Q: Do I have to challenge people to single combat?

No. Single combat is usually stupid. You’re not even well-built for single combat. You can hit evil things pretty hard, but you’re still pretty much just a melee combatant. You’ll do a lot better if you have a wizard friend to throw fireballs and a rogue friend to backstab your opponent.

Q: Am I allowed to steal?

In very specific circumstances, yes. For example, you could steal a key from a guard to free some prisoners. Or you could steal an evil artifact from some cultists in order to destroy it. Basically, the rule of thumb is that you can’t steal if it would profit you anyway, or if it would hurt innocents.

Q: So can I loot corpse?

Oh yeah, totally. How do you think I got this sweet axe?

Q: I’ve heard that all paladins must consume a daily quantity of sugar, but I’m a diabetic. What should I do?

...what? What the fuck?

Q: Am I allowed to have premarital sex?

Have as much sex as you want. Actually, there’s a spell some paladins learn that lets them have half-celestial kids.

Q: Yeah, but if you’re married, it’s different!

Look, UofJ is a college. If sex made you fall, we wouldn’t have any students after the first two weeks.

Q: Can I be gay and be a paladin?

I don’t know. Let me ask my girlfriend.

Q: But I mean, you can’t, like, have sex, right?

Yeah, I’m not discussing my sex life with students.

Q: I’m in a poly relationship. Do I have to give it up to become a paladin?

It doesn’t matter what kind of relationship you are in. It literally doesn’t matter.

Except an abusive relationship, I guess. If you’re abusive, you’ll fall.

Q: I’m into, um, kinky stuff in the bedroom. Could that keep me from becoming a paladin?

Ah, college kids. Such priorities.

Q: My girlfriend cheated on me, and she’s still a paladin. How is that possible?

Because that’s not evil. It just makes you a dick. You can be a dick and still be a paladin, Ginevra.

Q: Am I allowed to drink?

With this job? Yeah.

Q: So if you can drink are you allowed to do...other things...like drugs?

Drugs have nothing to do with alignment. The drug trade is evil, though, so...grow your own, maybe?

Q: Do I have to respect my elders? I wish you did.

Q: Am I allowed to kill prisoners?

If a mortal being has surrendered, no. (Unless they draw a weapon, or--in some circumstances--if they attempt to run away.)

Q: What if the person who surrendered killed my father, and I want to avenge him? (I’m asking for a friend.)

We don’t do that. If you want vengeance, get a different class.

Q: Am I allowed to use torture?

Torture is always evil.

Q: But what if I need to do it to get information that will save lives?

It’s still evil. Anyway, torture isn’t really effective. Even if you, say, saw someone’s foot off so they can’t walk anymore (without any anesthesia or magic), they won’t tell you the truth, they’ll just say what you want to hear.

Q: How do I get the information, then?

Your powers come from your force of personality. Maybe you can think of something?

Q: I want to become a paladin, but I’m impatient and I don’t know if I can deal with being nice to people all the time.

Then you’re in luck, because paladins are the biggest assholes I’ve ever met.

Q: Am I allowed to use evil magic?

No...it’s evil…?

Q: So I can’t use necromancy?

No, necromancy is fine. Evil magic is anything that comes from the lower planes. You know. Where evil comes from. That’s all.

Q: But undead are evil!

Most of them. But necromancy is negative energy, not evil. Are you really planning on double-classing paladin/wizard necromancy subtype?

Q: Well, no, but I--

Didn’t think so.

Q: Is eating meat evil?

Oh fuckers, not you again! I have to say this every year. No. Eating meat will never be evil.

Q: Am I allowed to swear?

No.

Q: Am I allowed to be sarcastic?

No.

Q: Which god do I have to worship?

None of them.

Q: What? I can be an atheist?

Sure. Or you can worship a god. There’s plenty of places of worship on campus. But it’s not a requirement. (And ignore that “wall of the faithless” crap, that’s just god propaganda.)

Q: This sounds like some sort of Sigil crap.

Not all atheists come from Sigil. Some of them are normal Primes who just don’t happen to worship a god.

Q: But still, I want to be a humble paladin, not a stuck-up wizard in an ivory tower or something.

Actually, there’s more atheist paladins than any other class. Because we know where we’ll go when we die, there’s not much incentive--

Hayashi, this is starting to sound like a conversion pamphlet.

Let’s try that again. Worshiping, or not worshiping, any given god will have no affect on your status as a paladin. Got it?

Q: But I met someone who was a paladin of Pelor/Garl Glittergold/the One/Dionysus/Eilistraee!

Yeah. Lots of paladins do that. But they don’t get their powers from their god. It’s just something they say to show they draw their inspiration from their god. You could be a paladin of learning or a paladin of cheese and crackers if you want.

Q: So I can be a paladin of Pelor/Garl Glittergold/the One/Dionysus/Eilistraee?

Sure.

Q: That was a joke, right? There are no paladins of Eilistraee, right?

Actually, she has a rather large order. They get purged frequently.

Q: Okay, but...there aren’t any paladins of Lolth, right?

I’ve met at least one.

Q: Are there gods I can’t worship?

Not as far as I know. I mean, swearing fealty to an evil god seems wrong somehow, but plenty of orc paladins from traditional families still worship their racial pantheon.

Q: Orc paladins?!

Heck, even I sometimes go to ceremonies, and I haven’t worshipped those dicks since I was twelve.

Q: I might feel more comfortable getting this information from a, uh...human paladin?

Too bad. Anyway, I’m half-elven, and I’ve only got my left arm, so let’s assume that’s the elven half.

Q: That’s not how halves work.

Worship whatever gods you want. And get used to seeing orcs, because UofJ has a “savage scholarship.” It’s some kind of outreach program.

Q: Don’t they fall a lot?

All our students fall a lot. We’ve got a 41% graduation rate.

Q: What about worshipping demons?

Don’t worship demons.

Q: So, I’ll fall?

I don’t know, but nobody should worship demons.

Q: Should I go on a suicide mission to Hell?

No.

Q: Should I go on a suicide mission to the Abyss?

No.

Q: Should I join the blood war?

NO.

Q: I’ve fallen. What should I do now?

First, DO NOT make a deal with a demon.

Okay, second, take a deep breath. Falling isn’t the end. Just get an atonement spell, and you’ll be back in shape after one adventure. The majority of paladins are still LG after falling, with a minority being NG, and a smaller minority becoming CG or LN. Rarely is the action that caused a paladin to fall so heinous that the paladin becomes evil as a result. Although it has been known to happen, Phil.

Third, DO NOT make a deal with a demon.

Q: I don’t want to atone. I don’t think what I did was wrong.

That’s fine. For lots of former paladins, falling was a wake-up call. It made them realize that LG wasn’t for them, and they could do just as much good as a different class. Some become NG or CG, some become LN. Others remain LG, but choose not to atone.

If being a paladin is keeping you from personal fulfilment, I personally suggest you don’t even try. Yeah, free will means we can choose our alignment, but if your nature’s more chaotic, why fight it? Chaos can do just as much good as law.

Just make sure that you DO NOT make a deal with a demon.

Just because you decide to stay fallen, doesn’t mean you need to bang your way down the alignment tree hitting every branch on the way down. One evil action doesn’t mean you’re evil, now. (Those who fell due to becoming chaotic probably shouldn’t need this reminder, but you didn’t even do anything evil.) Being LN (or TN or CN) is a perfectly acceptable option. And you’re probably still good. There’s lots of alignments between “paladin” and “batshit crazy.”

You’re a paladin, so you’re used to alignment being a zero sum game, but now that you’re fallen, it’s time to get used to the idea that everyone has an alignment. Look at all the people around you who aren’t paladins. Do they go around murdering babies and raping cats?

Q: But what I did wasn’t wrong. Isn’t there some sort of Good Appeals Board I can take this up with?

Look, alignment isn’t one of those fuzzy, loosy-goosy conceptual things, like gods or oxygen or whatever. If you get dumped by Lolth, you can appeal to her (good luck), but if your alignment changed, it doesn’t really matter if Heaven takes pity on you or not.

Q: But I’m still Lawful Good!

Doesn’t mean you’re still a paladin, though.

Q: Why not?

If you’re still LG, it’s because you committed an evil action. Few evil actions are enough to change the alignment of a good person (like I said, it can happen, Phil), but those evil actions still matter.

Q: You said alignment is objective. I’m objectively LG! Heaven doesn’t care that I committed one evil action. Why should it matter?

Because we hold ourselves to a higher standard. That’s what makes us paladins.

Q: Didn’t you just say people who weren’t paladins could do just as much good?

Yeah. Cause they see good as a risk/reward calculation. Being willing to let things get a little messy might mean you take the bigger reward--you save more people. You help more. But paladins aren’t just about helping. Paladins are also supposed to be an example of what LG is.

Q: So you’re saying LG is more good than NG and CG are?

No, I’m saying it’s more lawful. Being a paladin means abiding by a code. The code says we never commit and evil action. So even if it seems really small, and the amount of good it could accomplish is really great, we don’t do it, cause it’s against the code.

Q: You’re saying paladins can’t think for themselves?

If there’s anything I’ve learned as a teacher, it’s that people are idiots, and not thinking for themselves is sometimes a blessing.

Q: But I’m still Lawful Good!

Then following a code shouldn’t bother you so much, should it? You can’t be a paladin again until you atone. Says so in the rules. See?

Q: Are the NG and CG exemplars our enemies?

Of course not. The beings of NG and CG are our allies in the fight against evil. Stupid allies who consistently ruin plans, but allies nonetheless.

Q: I’m 37th in a long family line of paladins. My parents want me to become a paladin, too, but I’m not sure. What should I do?

Don’t do it. You’re not cut out for it, and you’ll wind up falling.

Q: Should paladins act for the greater good?

I’ve never met anybody, paladin or otherwise, who said “greater good” and didn’t mean “evil.”

Q: If I meet an evil person, I should kill them, right?

Slow down, sparky. Killing isn’t the solution to every problem.

Q: But I can detect evil!

Yeah, and? That’s so you don’t get tricked by obvious con artists. (I was going to complain about the rumor that paladins are easily tricked, but looking back over these questions, I should probably bite my tongue.) You can’t literally kill everyone who pings as evil.

Q: But they’re evil.

Most of the world’s evil. Take a walk around Rome. If you went around trying to “eliminate” all of them, you’d be fallen in a day.

Q: Paladins are supposed to fight evil. How can I fall for that?

Look, I get that it’s objective reality or whatever, but there’s degrees of evil. Like, are you going to kill a 16 year old street urchin because she’s too poor to get money any other way than picking pockets, when there’s a devil right there?

Q: So you’re saying paladins are never allowed to kill mortals?

What? No, of course not. If it’s in self-defense, or defending someone else, it’s not murder. And even murder can be the right choice sometimes. Just use your brain. If you kill everyone who’s evil, well…

Q: Isn’t it better to try to get rid of all the evil people?

You know alignment can change, right? Free will?

Q: So I shouldn’t kill demons just for being evil, either?

What? No, that’s different. They’re demons. They’re not just people that are evil, they’re made of evil.

Q: Okay, but what about mortals that have a racial inclination to evil?

You mean alufiends? They still have free will. I know a nice LN alufiend who runs a teashop.

Q: And what about savage races?

That’s kind of an outdated term. I believe they prefer...actually, those races have nothing in common, so there is no PC term for them as a whole. “Mortals of non-heroic origin”?

Q: I mean, after wiping out a band of marauding goblins, if I find they had a child, what should I do? Should I slay it, to prevent it from harming the community later?

There is a runaway trolley barrelling down the tracks toward five people who are tied up, unable to move. One person stands on the other tracks. Do you pull the lever to switch the trolley, or do nothing?

Q: What does that have to do with anything?

That’s what you sound like.

Q: But that’s an interesting philosophical question.

No. It’s not. If morality is decided entirely in the realm of the hypothetical, then there’s no consequences, and therefore morality has no meaning. There would never be a trolley barreling toward five people, one person on the other tracks, and you deciding what switch to pull. The only reason to come up with an answer about the trolley problem is to feel good about yourself. UofJ doesn’t train you so you can sit around in an office like me, answering Philosophy 101 questions like some NPC class.

Q: Yeah, but what if there was a trolley?

You want an answer to the trolley problem? Fine. Jump in front of it yourself.

Q: What?

You jump in front of it yourself. You sacrifice yourself. That’s the only thing a paladin ever sacrifices for the good of the group. Get it?

Q: But what if the person on the other tracks was a baby goblin?

Don’t kill children, you idiot!

(Author’s Note: It’s been pointed out to me by my esteemed colleague that some of our students may not be aware that goblins, like all mortal races, have free will. They don’t have a special inclination toward evil. I’d think that’s plenty of justification to flunk them on the spot, but I’m not the president of UofJ.)

Q: But the goblin pantheon is evil!

And Lathander’s the god of the morning, but that doesn’t mean Professor Clery won’t bite your head off if you talk to her before she’s had her cup of coffee. (After she’s woken up at 11, the lazy git.)

Q: It’s different for humans.

It’s really not. And Professor Clery’s a bugbear.

Q: Okay, I won’t kill every evil person I meet, but I can’t travel with them, right?

I mean, that’s up to you.

Q: I won’t fall for having evil companions?

I mean, I guess you would if you started doing evil things with them? But not just for travelling with them, no. An evil person existing doesn’t make you evil by association.

Q: But if I have evil companions, they’ll backstab and betray me.

Not if you’re working toward a common goal. Evil just means they’re willing to screw over other people, not that they’re compelled to do it. If there’s a terrifying world-ending squid that wants to eat your hometown, then the evil hexblade is just as likely to want to get rid of it as you are.

Q: So I can’t torture anybody, but if the party rogue is already evil, I could just get her to do it…?

No!

Q: I thought I was supposed to tolerate my companions being evil.

No, you’re supposed to tolerate them. You should try to stop them from doing evil actions. Anything short of violence works. I like to go all orcish grandma on them. Passive aggression is really effective.

Q: I had my leg bitten off by a demonic crocodile. What should I do?

I don’t know, maybe write FAQs for idiot kids.

Q: A devil came around recruiting for the blood war…

I already told you, no!

Q: What if doing the right thing is against the law of the land?

You do the right thing.

Q: But I’m Lawful. If I don’t follow the laws of the land, won’t I fall?

You’re Lawful Good. You can’t just be lawful or just be good, you’re both. And LG means that you don’t follow evil laws.

Q: If I come from an evil country, how can I be lawful without following evil laws?

You don’t have to follow the law of the land to be lawful. Lawful just means you strive toward a consistent ideal. You keep a code--even if it’s not explicitly written out--of who you want to be. If that goes along with your country’s laws, that’s good, but if it means standing against your country’s laws, that’s still consistency. Consistency is what matters.

Q: So if I’m in an evil country, do I have to stand up to their laws?

As a rule, fixing society isn’t really our job. If you see evil right in front of you, you should try to stop it, but trying to bring real change to society is more trouble than it’s worth. It’s not our job to end slavery and stop genocide. Our job is to end cosmic threats. It’s a lot more efficient to focus on threats everyone can agree on. We might have different opinions about if mages should be locked in towers or own slaves, but we can all agree that someone’s gotta cut down the Blight.

I mean, I can’t exactly go home and “liberate” the women and end male rule--not without getting them to ditch the pantheon, which I don’t think they’d be keen on--but if I see a guy beating a woman, I can at least step in and mess his face up a little.

Editor’s note: This is just one paladin’s opinion and does not represent the views of UofJ. Many paladins get involved in politics and make a difference by fighting for justice.

Also, it’s called a patriarchy. You’re a scholar now, Hayashi, you could learn a few simple words.

Author’s note: Yeah, this kind of language mumbo jumbo is exactly the waste of time I’m talking about. I can sit here arguing over what to call men beating their wives, which is super helpful, or I can go kill demon squids.

Editor’s note: Since you’re no longer able to kill much of anything, you might consider getting more involved in social justice.

Author’s note: But then how would I provide this helpful FAQ?

Q: Wait, what are you talking about? Why did you bring up slavery?

It’s one of the more common evils. Most empires have some form of slavery. Rome, for instance. And let’s not get started on the drow…

Q: In my culture, slavery is perfectly acceptable. Can I still be a paladin?

What, and be OK with slavery? No.

Q: But it’s my culture!

Yeah, well, your culture’s wrong. It happens.

Q: That’s racist.

Seriously? After asking for a human to write this FAQ, I’m the racist? Look, I get it. I come from an evil culture, too. Let’s face it, most of us do. But things aren’t good just cause they’re culture.

Q: What about cannibalism? My culture’s okay with cannibalism. You said eating meat was never evil.

...I was talking about...I was talking about animal meat...no...no, cannibalism isn’t okay…

Editor’s Note: Technically speaking, cannibalism is only evil if you kill someone for the purpose of eating their flesh. If they were dead anyway, or you killed them for some other reason, and then due to starvation, you ate their flesh, that would be fine. Or if you ate flesh as part of a burial ritual. It’s killing someone for the purpose of eating them that’s evil.

Which is a reminder, kids, you should check out Bartosz’s philosophy 101 class, where you can discuss all these pedantic meaningless distinctions. Or you could not commit cannibalism, because that’s disgusting.

Q: I stabbed through a curtain, thinking my uncle was behind it, and I accidentally murdered an innocent.

Wait, what? Why did you want to kill your uncle? Never mind, I don’t want to know. There’s probably some creepy incest thing going on. Sorry, I started writing a response before I finished reading the question. Let’s see what it is.

Q: I didn’t fall. What gives?

You committed an evil act, but unknowingly. The paladin code recognizes intent. Accidentally killing an innocent, and other evil acts committed in ignorance, don’t cause you to fall.

Q: They don’t count as evil actions?

No, they do. If you somehow ignorantly committed enough evil acts in ignorance to change your alignment and become LN, you’d still fall. You can’t be a paladin if you’re not LG. I’ve never heard of a case of that happening, though, because you’d have to be really ignorant. And really clumsy.

Q: Wait, so don’t I benefit from staying ignorant? Is knowledge what causes evil? Should I eschew all knowledge from now on?

If that’s how you view being a paladin, then you’re gonna fall.

Q: All right, I don’t fall, but I still feel bad about it. What can I do to avoid it?

Okay, well, uh...instead of stabbing someone through a curtain, maybe, I don’t know, offer a chance to surrender first? Or at least call out, “Who’s there?”

Q: Wait, never mind. I spent like 20 days pondering the consequences of my sins and what to do next, and I fell anyway. So, did I fall because I learned my actions were evil and was able to appreciate the consequences?

No, that’s not really how it works.

Q: What the hell, then? Why did I fall?

Well, paladins are kind of, you know, action oriented. Sitting around for 20 days not taking action when your uncle’s apparently evil or something doesn’t really...work.

Q: Maybe I should consider what class I should be, then. This will require much reflection.

Yeah, okay, kid. You, uh...you do that.

Q: Okay, I’m good at the fighting stuff and the dying stuff, but I’m not sure about the social aspect of being a paladin. How should I treat the fairer sex?

Uh. Just treat them...like people?

Q: What about chivalry?

We don’t have that, uh, code. And some of us are women.

Q: Oh, that’s a good point! How should I treat paladin women? Should they be treated the same way I should treat other women, or…?

Seriously, treat them the same way you treat men. Supposedly any kind of treating the sexes differently counts as a minor evil act and can change your alignment, or something. So my colleagues tell me, anyway. Also, it’s super annoying.

Q: What do you mean?

Well, you know, if women are your fellow adventurers, they don’t usually want you opening dungeon doors for them and stuff. Especially if she’s the party rogue and you didn’t give her time to check for traps.

Q: So, treat them exactly the same?

Yep.

Q: Wait, am I allowed to attack women?

No. Even if a woman is evil, and is attacking you, and you will die unless you defend yourself, you can’t attack her. You will always fall if you attack women.

Q: Is it about ethics in games journalism?

No. It is never about ethics in games journalism.

Q: What kind of mount do you recommend?

Well, of course, all mounts are great and I’m sure you’ll succeed no matter what you choose. But dire parrots are the best! You can teach them to curse, and then you can really intimidate enemies by swooping toward them on a brightly colored steed shrieking “Fuck you and your mother! Bacaw!”

Q: Are you trolling?

No. My dire parrot is the best mount. Can your mount talk? I didn’t think so.

Q: Wait, so you have a parrot...you’re missing your legs...and a hand…are you a pirate?!

Yeah, we’re done here.

[moonrisejoon]

60 Truths tag

Tagged by @xilsel yaaaay thanks! I probably should be trying to sleep right now as it’s 00.15 but aaaaah fuck it. (also sorry I didn’t do your last tag I was so busy with school and then I forgot and now I feel like an asshole please forgive me 😁)

1. Nickname(s): Eve, Evie, just variations on my name I know it’s boring


2. Bias: Jin, Jisoo, Moonbyul


3. Blood type: No clue


4. Relationship status: Single since always


6. Zodiac sign: Capricorn


7. Pronouns: She/her


8. Hair length: Currently it ’s a little past my shoulders 

9. Height: 156 cm I found out a week ago which means I’ve been telling people I’m 8 cm longer then I really am oops


10. A crush: oh god for some reason I crush on like 5 people at the same time (guess I’m that desperate) but my ultimate crush is my best friend WHOOPS


11. What do you like about yourself: nothing. I mean, I guess my hair is nice? And I’m kind of creative? But yeah I’m an untalented human trash can


12. Right or left handed: Right handed


13. List of three favourite colours: Purple, blue, green


14. Right now eating: nothing


15. Right now drinking: nothing 


16. I’m about to: go to sleep (hopefully)


17. Listening to: Something -Girl’s Day


18. Kids: Honestly I can’t even take care of myself and I always get tired of taking care of pets after a while so I probably shouldn’t have kids 

19. Get married: honestly I don’t really care if I get married or not, it’s mostly a ceremonial thing anyway 

20. Recent phone call: My mom


21. Have you ever dated someone twice: How about dating someone to begin with


22. Been cheated on: see above


23. Kissed someone and regretted it: I’ve only kissed once and it was because of truth or dare so not really


24. Lost someone special: Not really super special


25. Been depressed: ah. AHAHA. Give me the sweet release of death but yeah I’m pretty depressed


26. Been drunk and thrown up: Nope


27. Had glasses or contacts: Nope

28. Had sex on a first date: again, i’ve never been on a date before 

29. Broken someone’s heart: Yup. One of my best friends had a crush on me and it was akward and painful just a confusing mess


30. Turned someone down: yup


31. Cried when someone died: yeah


32. Fallen for a friend: Hahaha yes.


33. In the last year have you made a new friend: I have actually, it’s been an abnormally social year so far


34. Fallen out of love: Yeah I guess


35. Laughed until you cry: probably


36. Met someone who changed you: Yessss it sounds so cheesy but my crush/best friend seriously inspires me to be a better person (even though we’re both trash)


37. Found out who your true friends were: Let’s just say 70% of my friendships end up with me getting figuratively back-stabbed


38. Found out someone was talking about you: Oh god when are people not talking shit about me honestly


39. Lips or eyes: Eyes


40. Hugs or kisses: Hugs


41. Shorter or taller: okay taller because I have two friends who are huge guys and hugging them is the best thing ever they’re like huge teddy bears


42. Romantic or spontaneous: I hate suprises so let’s just say romantic


43. Sensitive or loud: Loud girls, sensitive boys


44. Hookup or relationship: Relationship.. I guess.. I wouldn’t know


45. First best friend: a girl called Melissa when I was like 4


46. Surgery: I had to get my tonsils removed when I was 6 does that count?


47. Sports I joined: Judo, tennis, badminton, but I just really hate sports and competion in general so that didn’t really work out


48. Do you believe in yourself: Haha no


49. Miracles: I don’t really believe in them


50. Love at first sight: Sure why not


51. Heaven: Would be nice, but I’m an atheist sooo...

52. Do you have any pets: A dog named Sjors and a cat named Chewie 

53. Do you want to change your name: Not really. I mean it’s pretty boring but I’m fine with it


54. What did you do for your last birthday: We went to see Passengers and had a sleep over


55. What time did you wake up today: 8.00


56. What were you doing last night at midnight: Sleeping (it’s a miracle wow i guess they do exist


57. Something you can’t wait for: Vacation


58. Last time you saw your mom: like.. Half an hour ago


59. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: I wish I’d be more motivated to do shit and not be so stressed and anxious all the time 

60. What’s getting on your nerves: SOME DICKHEAD RE-ARRANGED MY CHOIR FOLDER AND NOW I CAN’T FIND SHIT also I have gym class early in the morning and it’s outside and we have to sprint and I don’t wannaaaa also I’m on my phone and don’t know how to make text bold on here so this whole thing is a mess 

Phew that was long. I probably made a million spelling mistakes I’m sorry

[beatrixacs]

So I was tagged by @thewayshelooksatme for this info about me. And I tag @bertandtiva, @dazzlingstarlight and whoever else who wants to do that.

The last:

1. Drink: Beer, if I do not count water and coffee as my usual stuff.

2. Phone call: Mom

3. Text message: To a friend, informing her that Barbara Hershey joined X-Files Season 11 and it is so cool, because she was such a badass as Cora Mills in OUAT.

4. Song you listened to: Believer by Imagine Dragons

5. Time you cried: Sunday, seeing Usain Bolt ending his career.

6. Dated someone twice: No. No man ever steps in the same river twice.

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Oh well... Probably? I mean, he was cute and fine, but he was a fan of my rival football club. I felt like I betrayed my colours. But it is a long time ago.

8. Been cheated on: By a boyfriend? No. If it is meant as a general betrayal, then yes, recently. Do not want to talk about it, though.

9. Lost someone special: Unfortunately, yes.

10. Been depressed: In that society exaggerated meaning – yes, a couple of times. Last time probably this March. Never been officialy diagnosed, though, and I do not see myself as a depressed person.

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Oh God, yes and many times! :D But as I grow older, I check my drinking level. So it did not happen recently.

Three favourite colours:

12. Black

13. Red

14. Blue

In the last year, have you:

15. Made new friends: Yup, I did. Both in my closest surroundings and internet.

16. Fallen out of love: Well, I am not currently in a relationship, so no. If it is meant platonically, then nope either.

17. Laughed until you cried: Oh, all the time!

18. Found out someone was talking about you: Yes, both in good and bad sense. As I do not care what people who do not know me think about me, I do not feel offended.

19. Met someone who changed you: No, not in the last year. I have not changed, so... That is pretty much it.

20. Found out who your friends are: Well, I have stabilized base of my friends who I trust, so I do not have to find out who my friends are anymore. Internet-wise – I realized that some people are just not worth of my attention, if they are not paying it back.

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Do not have Facebook, so impossible for me. If I had it and had certain people on it, then yes. I do kiss my friends when we meet.

General:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Like I said – I do not have Facebook, so irrelevant question.

23. Do you have any pets: No, I do not. But I would love to have one.

24. Do you want to change your name: No, never thought about it. I have a nickname and that is enough for me.

25. What did you do for your last birthday: Well, since people can be assholes when it comes to parties, I made a day for myself.  I took a day off in work, went to massage saloon, had a delicious lunch... It was all about me.

26. What time did you wake up: I usually wake up at 6:50 AM.

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: I was actually just going to sleep.

28. Name something you can’t wait for: October! On 10th, I go on a classical concert that is also a tribute to Les Miserables musical as it celebrates 25th anniversary since the premiere in the Czech Republic. On 16th, I go to a concert of Ennio Morricone to see him for one last time before he retires. And on 21st, I go to see for the second time musical Tanz der Vampire.

29. and 30. Where did you go, I do not have these questions in here...

31. What are you listening to right now: I am in work, so clock ticking. :D

32. Have you ever talked to a person named tom: Yes, my brother is Tom.

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: Liars. Attention whores.

34. Most visited website: Youtube. I spent too much time there, really. Then Fanfiction.net and tumblr.

35. Hair colour: Natural – medium brown with green reflection I absolutely hated. Dyed – basic black mixed with dark red.

36. Long or short hair: Have had both, long although it can be bitchy.

37. and 38. Again missing questions.

39. Piercings: Do not have any, never wanted any.

40. Blood type: I have no idea. But I think that A. I know my father has 0.

41. Nicknames: The one I use for ages – Beatrix.acs. Other than that variations on my name Tereza – so Terka, Terezka, Teríšek, Terinka...

42. Relationship status: Single

43. Zodiac: Pisces

44. Pronouns: How is this meant? Like my favourite pronoun? Then probably ourselves – I use it so rarely. :D

45. Favourite TV show: Okay, TV shows. SHOWS. There is never just one and I will always forget one. Stargate, Frasier, Miranda, Sherlock, NCIS, JAG, The Mentalist, X-Files, House MD, OUAT, ER, Relic Hunter, Step by Step... So many.

46. Tattoos: Do not have one. If I did, it would be The Horde crest from World of Warcraft.

47. Right or left handed: Right all the way. My left hand is just for decoration, really. I practically do not use it.

48. Surgery: Never had one.

49. Piercing: Like I stated above – do not have any, never wanted any. If it is meant what is my opinion on them – do not mind them.

50. Sport: Passive or active? Actively, I used to ride a bike, do inline skating, rafting etc. Now, I do mostly yoga. Passively – wow, so many – football, almost all winter sports like ice-hockey, skiing in all forms, snowboarding... Athletics, motorsport.

51. Vacation: Sea. Definitely sea and especially in Greece. Though this year I went to the mountains.

52. Pair of trainers: My black Nike shoes.

More general:

53. Eating: Nothing right now. Looking forward to lunch. Generally, I eat a lot of meat.

54. Drinking: Water. I like beer a lot (we are beer nation, hey), wine, coke, tonic...

55. I’m about to: I do not know, finish this and start working? :D

56. Waiting for: Afternoon to come because I have to leave work to meet with a client.

57. Want: Massage, pool, cool drink and just sit down and read.

58. Get married: Maybe one day. I would love to wear wedding dress. But I have to find Mr. Right first.

59. Career: Secret agent, police officer or a lawyer.

Which is better:

60. Hugs or kisses: Kisses are fine, but sometimes hug can comfort way more.

61. Lips or eyes: Eyes.

62. Shorter or taller: I am quite short... So probably a bit taller than me but not too tall. Like I have a neck to keep in mind.

63. Older or younger: Older. Unless the younger would be too mature for his age, but that is so rare that I do not think I will ever meet anyone like that.

64. Nice arms or nice stomach: Arms. It does have a lot to do with hugs.

65. Hook up or relationship: Relationship.

66. Troublemaker or hesitant: Oh well.. Hesitant, I have had my share of troublemakers.

Have you ever:

67. Kissed a stranger: Yes, I did. I knew him just a couple of hours.

68. Drank hard liquor: Of course, I have.

69. Lost glasses/contact lenses: Do not use contact lenses. I have to keep my glasses on my face all the time, so it is hard for me to lose them. Broke them? Yes. Lost them? No.

70. Turned someone down: Yes, multiple times.

71. Sex on the first date: No, I am not cheap, neither did I ever felt such a strong attraction.

72. Broken someone’s heart: Apparently I did? Did not have the idea, though. Was told about it by others.

73. Had your heart broken: Works both ways. Indeed, I have.

74. Been arrested: No. I am woman of the law.

75. Cried when someone died: Of course! Damn, I cry even now when I remember Alan Rickman, or David Bowie. Or when I watch a year old cinematics from World of Warcraft: Legion and see Varian, Vol’jin and Ysera die.

76. Fallen for a friend: Yup, I did. Got my heart broken.

Do you believe in:

77. Yourself: That is how I live, so yes. Without that belief I would have never achieved things I have achieved.

78. Miracles: I do believe in miracles, yes.

79. Love at first sight: Rarely happening, but yes.

80. Santa Claus: No, I am not from the United States, so we do not even have Santa Claus here. The gift bringer here is Baby Jesus (Ježíšek). And I do not believe in him since like I was 8 years old.

81. Kiss on the first date: That indeed, I believe in.

82. Angels: No, I am atheist.

Other:

83. Current best friend’s name: I do not call anyone my best friend as I do not like to privilege anyone. We meet and talk when we have time, it is not like when I was younger and we spent every single second with each other. For a long time, it was Lucie.

84. Eye colour: Brown

85. Favourite movie: The Godfather