#some dentists don’t work well with some people and that’s okay

[prince-of-red-lions]

hey guys this is your reminder to TAKE CARE OF YOUR MOUTH AND TEETH‼️‼️‼️‼️

your teeth are so incredibly important! no one wants dentures! please remember to brush your teeth twice a day as well as floss, scrape ur tongue, and fluoride!!

if you are brushing ur teeth twice a day, YAY! :D but it’s not enough! flossing is very much needed, cavities can still form if you don’t floss. fluoride helps strengthen ur teeth so they can be big boys and prevent tooth decay and further problems! i cannot stress this enough, TAKE CARE OF THEM‼️‼️‼️

not only does all of this help your teeth to be sturdy and healthy, it most certainly helps with bad breath! just brushing your teeth only helps so much, and most the time it doesn’t work, especially if you haven’t been very good with it. flossing gets all the gunk and plaque off your pearly whites that are makin’ things smell! this is also where scraping your tongue comes in. bacteria lives on your tongue too! no one wants it! so make sure to get a tongue scraper, im sure your dentist has some so don’t be afraid to ask! scraping your tongue can help immensely with bad breath, especially if you floss, brush and fluoride along with it!

REMEMBER‼️‼️

you must do ALL of these if you want to ensure a healthy mouth! you can’t just scrape and brush, or brush and fluoride, etc. all steps are incredibly important! GUYS‼️‼️ CAVITIES AND CROWNS ARE NOT FUN‼️‼️ THEY ARE EXPENSIVE‼️‼️ and to add on top of all that, you feel great afterwards! I’m always happier and feel much cleaner after taking care of my teeth, and you will too! who doesn’t like knowing their breath is fresh and their mouth is healthy?

i know it can be hard, especially when your trying to form the habit. i struggled myself for a long time, only recently really coming down on my teeth hygiene. but it’s so worth it!! just try your best and DON’T take breaks for a night! that is what kills the habit. just imagine how nice and clean your teeth will look without all that gunk in between them!!

if you don’t believe me, my dad is a dentist and runs his own practice. I’ve learned from the very best! he works with patients who have cavities left and right, he’s worked with smokers, etc. if you guys have any questions, go ahead and ask, I’d be happy to get an answer from my dad for you! :D

[dinsdjrn]

gone, from austin | j. miller | part two

brothers best friend!pre-outbreak!joel x f!reader

summary: Joel Miller: the one that got away; right person, wrong time. Now you’re back in Austin and it hurts just as bad, as if you’d never left five years ago. [w.c. 2.4k]

warnings: 18+ Minors DNI, no use of y/n, light angst, Sarah is alive and well, f!reader, smoking, depression, brief mentions of a mental breakdown, implied cheating (not joel), ex-lovers to lovers, eventual smut, slow burn, lmk if i missed anything <3

💌 a/n: FINALLY a part two? who am i?? anyways not sure how i feel about this story... but i know how i want it to end so ill keep going for that. lmk your thoughts <3

previous part | next part | masterlist

Part two | May 2002

You were a work of art, that’s the hardest part.

It had been three weeks since you had gotten home. You had become more than a bit of a hermit, looking and applying for jobs. You made yourself sparse in the house, you understood everything your brother did was an open invitation to you, but it was easier to disappear. It also gave you time to process, when you left Toronto it was a whirlwind, but now it was a dulling ache. Friends had reached out, wondering where you went, if you were okay. You gave them enough information so they wouldn’t worry, but not enough to come looking for you.

It was Friday morning, just like any other morning, you were searching through medical journals and websites looking for job postings. Search, apply, wait, and wait some more. It wasn’t very thrilling, but it was something to do to keep your head above water.

The alarm on your phone had begun ringing, 10 am, you reached into your desk drawer and took your meds. They filled a hole in your head you hadn’t known was there until you had a small breakdown two years ago. It was something only a few people in your life knew about, it wasn’t something you ever really wanted out there. There was almost a shamefulness to it, no one in Austin knew, and then one person in Toronto who knew about it was no longer welcome in your life. So you move on, continue as you have and hope that your ticket out comes sooner rather than later. 

A soft knock came at your door. 

“Come in!” You said, closing the desk drawer quickly. 

“Hey! Someone is at the door for you,” Kelsey popped her head in and smiled. 

You looked down at your Dell Med School t-shirt and Roots sweatpants and laughed lightly. 

“Is it anyone important?” You asked embarrassed gesturing to your pajama centered clothing choices. 

“I am sure they won’t even notice.”

You sighed and stood up, you lightly stretched and made your way downstairs. Just as the entryway came into view there was Sarah and Joel, Sarah with her backpack on and Joel shifting uncomfortably looking at the floor. 

“Hey guys,” you said, smiling at them. 

“Hey!” Sarah smiled. 

“What’s up? Shouldn’t you be at school already?” You questioned. 

“I had a dentist appointment this morning. We just came back to the house to grab my bag, but I wanted to see if you were around tonight,” She swayed, clearly hoping you’d say yes.

“I’m uh-, not sure,” You looked at Joel for guidance but he wasn’t paying any attention to you his sole focus was on Sarah. 

“I just really wanted to have that sleepover you promised! My dad is going out tonight and suggested it would be a good time for us to hang out and -“

“But only if you are available and want to,” Joel interrupted.

“Oh, yeah! That sounds like it could be fun. Why don’t I come over around 5ish and we can order some pizza?” You smiled at her. 

It would be much more comfortable without Joel there, you had felt like you were walking on eggshells when he would pop over to have a beer with Jake or help Kelsey fix things around the house. 

Joel nodded. 

“Alright baby girl, time to get you to school,” he began shuffling Sarah out the door. 

“See you tonight!” Sarah called over her shoulder. 

You waved at her in response and when the door clicked closed you pinched the bridge of your nose. 

“You know, she really did miss having you around,” Kels leaned against the doorway behind you. 

“I know,” You sighed, “I just don’t know what I’m getting myself into.”

“What do you mean? You’ve known her since she was just a little kid. You’re not getting yourself into anything except maybe forgiving yourself for hurting her.” Kelsey said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

“You don’t fucking get it! This isn’t a permanent solution. I can’t stay, I don’t belong here anymore! I don’t want to get her hopes up that I might by hanging out with her and letting things go back to the way they were. That will just hurt her again.” You snapped, a pang of annoyance in your chest.

“You being here and ignoring her, it hurts them both. You can talk a big game about how you don’t belong here, but this is your home, your family. I don’t know what happened between you and Joel, but it is clear he still cares about you. Is staying really the worst thing? At least thinking about it?” 

“They are not my family, you and Jake absolutely are. And you’re right, maybe this was home once, but it’s not anymore. All that’s left is a permanent scar of what could have been. Now, if you’ll excuse me,” You turned to walk up the stairs. 

Kelsey came and put her hand over yours on the railing. 

“Look I’m sorry if I overstepped. I only want to see you happy,” Her voice was soft and apologetic. 

You just nodded in response and made your way back up the stairs, once in your room you made your way to the bed and cried into your pillow. You knew the love for Austin was there, it had always been there, but so was the hurt. The pain would always be there too, it painted your soul in blues and grays. That’s the hardest part, how beautifully life painted your anguish here. 

The day came and went quickly, and you felt unprepared for your sleepover with Sarah. You knew it would be nice to hang out, do face masks and watch a few movies, but your anxiety was palpable. You were worried it would feel like grasping at a life you could’ve had, but were strictly denied. 

You made your way next door around five and before you could even knock the door had swung open and Sarah was pulling you inside. 

“You’re here! Finally, I’ve been thinking about what we could do tonight all day. Dad said he would call a few pizzas in, we went to CVS after school too! I got nail polish, face masks, and some weird snacks,” Sarah spoke excitedly. 

It gave you a bit of whiplash, barely able to even get in a few “Alrights” or “Sounds Fun”’s in. 

“Woah, woah, Sarah slow down,” Joel said as you made your way into their living room. 

He was sitting on the couch in a black t-shirt and Levis, his hair was wet and the messy ways were pushed off his forehead. He was still so devilishly handsome, he never tried too hard with his looks, but that didn’t mean he didn’t look good; it arguably made him more attractive. 

“A’right, I’m going to get outta here,” He put his hands on his lap and made his way to stand, “Tommy is gonna be here any second.” 

“Dad, did you remember to order pizza?” Sarah asked with a hint of annoyance. 

“Oh shit,” he felt his pockets pulling out his phone, “I’ll call on the way over to the bar.”

“Don’t worry about it, Joel. I’ll get it,” You smiled softly at him, pulling out your own phone. 

“Y’sure?” He asked. 

“Yes, yes, she’s sure, now, go have fun. We have a very important girls night to get started on.” Sarah shooed her father toward the door.

Joel just laughed and rolled his eyes, you shrugged in response. 

As soon as you heard the door shut Sarah came rushing back to the living room. 

“Sorry, he’s a mess,” Sarah laughed.

“I can see that nothing has changed,” You laughed with her. 

You both fell into a comfortable conversation, it was nice to see Sarah so happy. She was completely different then when you had left, yet somehow exactly the same. 

The night was spent watching cheesy rom-coms, doing face masks and nails, and eventually Sarah had fallen asleep in her pajamas on the couch. It was nearly one in the morning, you placed a blanket over her small frame and began quietly tidying the living room. 

The night had warmed your heart in a way you weren’t sure you’d be able to feel again. Sarah was such a light in your life for so long, and now she was turning into this beautiful and kind teenager. You had talked all about her school, Joel and Tommy’s shenanigans, and what’s been happening around Austin. She didn’t push you though, you had talked about Toronto and being away from home without delving into any fresh wounds.

 It was nice, it felt good to know when you left it wasn’t your last memory of Sarah. You worried for years it had been and you’d have to watch her grow through the lens of your brother, but here she was in the flesh. 

You sighed, putting the leftover pizza in the fridge and pouring any extra soda from your glasses down the drain. You went and checked on Sarah after you had finished cleaning up to make sure she was still sleeping. She hadn’t even stirred, so you took this as the best opportunity to step outside and have a smoke. 

It wasn’t something you were proud of, but was something that you would normally only do after particularly stressful days. Today would classify as one, you didn’t like fighting with Kels. That, plus the anxiety of coming to the Miller’s and not knowing what to expect, warranted a need to de-stress. 

You made your way into the backyard, only closing the screen door in case Sarah woke up, and placed a cigarette between your lips. Just as you were searching through your bag for a light a voice startled you. 

“Hey, I didn’t know you smoked?” Joel. 

Fuck, you knew he probably wouldn’t have been much later, but it felt pathetic to be sneaking a cigarette on his back porch. 

“Not often, but you’d be surprised how common it is in healthcare.” You said finding the lighter and lighting the end. 

He looked at you for a moment, and you realized maybe he didn’t want you smoking on his back porch. 

“Oh, shit sorry, you okay if I-“ 

“Oh, yeah, I don’t really care,” he hurried before you could finish your question.

“Cool,” you said. 

The silence grew uncomfortable between you two. 

“I, uh, didn’t mean to startle y’a there,” Joel said. 

“Oh,” 

“I just saw the light on and wondered if you were out here.” 

“And here I was…”

“Here you were,” He shifted, “You always loved it back here. Sitting looking up at the stars after Sarah went to bed.”

“Yeah, I think I missed the stars the most while I was in Toronto,” you sighed. 

“I always thought they’d’ve had more stars up there,” he looked up at the sky. 

You had finished about half of the cigarette and put it out, it wasn’t doing anything for you at the moment except make you want to shower. 

“Not in the city, it was like a shitty, colder, New York,” You laughed. 

Joel chuckled at your comment. He came closer to you and leaned on the railing of the deck with you. It felt almost suffocating, he was so close to you and it felt so intimate. 

“Y’know, we’re really happy you’re here,” He said quietly. 

“Joel, don’t…” you warned. 

“I mean it, Sarah never stopped asking about you. She missed you, this girl's night made her whole year.” 

“Joel, please,” you whispered, tears welling in your eyes. You already carried so much guilt for leaving Sarah with nothing but a goodbye. You knew he was trying to comfort you but he was crushing your soul with guilt instead. 

“I’m sorry darlin’ I just… always asked myself what if things were different. Where we would be, how would Sarah be different if you had stayed,” 

His words ignited a fire within you, one that burned in anger and resentment. Who was he to ask what if, when he gave no choice in whether or not you had a chance at finding out. 

“We could talk about maybes and what ifs until we’re blue in the face, it doesn’t turn back time. Doesn’t change anything between us. You made a choice, Joel, and so you don’t get the what if’s,” You snapped. 

He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. 

“I’m allowed to wonder,” He retorted. “You weren’t the only one hurt, y’know?”

“Well guess what, I wasn’t the one that wanted out when things got a little bit complicated.”

“Wanted out? You think I wanted out?! Fucking Christ, I didn’t want to hold you back. I have no choice but to stay in Austin, letting you go meant that you wouldn’t be tied down here!” His voice was quiet, but he was clearly irritated.

“I didn’t need you to let me go, I’m very capable of making my own choices. And if I had chosen to stay I needed you to tell me everything would be okay.” 

You weren’t speaking in a hushed tone like he was. You were frustrated, angry, he had completely backtracked on your breakup. Tears stung your eyes, you were frustrated and confused. 

“I’m done talking about this, Joel,” You said, wiping the tears away from your eyes. “You said your piece five years ago, and nothing is going to change that.”

You turned to head back inside, now that he was here you’d be able to walk back over to Jake’s and go to sleep. Make an attempt at forgetting this conversation ever happened and pretend your night ended with you and Sarah asleep on the couch. 

Joel grabbed your wrist before you got too far. 

“Please, just let me explain.” He pleaded. 

You pulled your wrist from his grip and left as promptly as you came. 

Your chest was tight and it was as if you could feel your heart shattering all over again into a million little pieces. The ghost of his love haunted you for years. He was still the same man you fell in love with, that much was certain. In that, it also meant, he was still the same man who broke your heart. 

And that was a risk you were not willing to take. 

To spiral out, to try and float, to see a friend, to see a ghost.

tags: @thetriumphantpanda @fruit-frogs @wand-erer5 @missgurrl @casa-boiardi @harriedandharassed @undrthelights @wishyoudaskme @reader-without-a-story @morning-star-joy @tightjeansjavi & once again sorry if i missed anyone or lmk if youd like to be on the taglist xo.

[swabian-princess]

5 life lections with me

Hey girlies,

I’ve come across many delusional posts in the last few weeks and I‘ve wanted to put my two cents.

Please, take all of this with a grain of salt because I am only twentythree and not some old oracle.

Lection 1: You probably won’t marry a billionaire, no matter what you do  

I know, many feminity and levelling up influencers tell you that eveything is possible if you do this and that.

Some swear that manifestation works and some tell that Jesus Christ himself blessed them after they joined certain church groups.

Okay, but let’s speak facts: the chances that you’re marrying a billionaire are very low.

The chances that you’re marrying a young, good looking, wants you to be at stay at home girlfriend billionaire are even lower. Those men have their established social circles and tend to marry women within those circles. If you don’t have the right background, social network and education it’s nearly impossible for you to get in those circles.

However, your chances on marrying a handsome looking, appropriate aged man with a good paying job are very high if you put the work into it. I‘m talking surgeons, dentists, lawyers or engineers.

Lection 2: You have to do the work

My dear @memoirsofmimimango recently wrote a post about modern trends (highly recommend checking out her blog, she’s speaking straight facts.) and she touched the subject manifestation.

YES, manifestation can alter your thoughts and put you in a better headspace to stay motivated and reach your goals but that’s it.

You won’t get abs because you wrote it 36 times on a piece of paper, no. You’ll have to eat right and work out.

You won’t magically find your soulmate because you wrote down a character description of them and put it under your pillow, no. You’ll have to go out, meet people and actually talk to them in order to build a relationship, wether it’s platonic or not.

Lection 3: Learn from your mistakes and forgive yourself

Everybody makes mistakes. Everybody. Yes, maybe those mistakes hurt like hell and drag you back down to rock bottom but you have to move on.

You have to move on and forgive yourself, even if it hurts a lot and even if you loose people on your way.

Let’s say you fail 9 times but have succes at your 10th try – you would never know if you didn’t try it one more time.

Lection 4: Value friendships

I go out and make an effort to make friends and keep them. It is so important that you have a couple friends you can trust. Yet, like every relationship friendships are not build over night.

We live in a time with unlimited messenger options, please, for the love of god – text your friends. Call them. Ask them how they are. Make them feel important and valued.

Lection 5: Health is wealth

It is so important to be healthy. Physically and psychically.

I live in Germany and I am very privileged to have 40 paid vacation days. I schedule those days so that I can have at least a few days off every few months and time for a bigger vacation every six months so that I don’t burn out.

I also go out of my way to eat healthy, cook and prepare fresh food and try to stay away from drugs, alcohol and cigarettes.

I get bloodwork done regularly and supplement accordingly. I’ll have to work on my workout routine but I try to get my 10k steps in every day.

Don’t take your health for granted, you’re still young and many people only think about how they’ll look and feel when they’re 80+.

Well, but between your twenties and eighties there are also a few years and you still want to look and feel good when you’re 40 or 60, so work on your health.

Selene  

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

Currently watching - October

Because I love a good little list 😊

Regularly updated during the month - colored = finished

This may contain spoilers!

Currently airing

Choco Milk Shake (2/10)

🥰🥰🥰🥰 This is so good! I love it! I enjoyed every little second of this first episode. I hope it will go on like that. The story about Choco and Milk, a cat and a dog becoming human and live with their former owner. The acting is really good! I can see the dog and the cat in them 😅 So far perfect casting!

Love in the air (11/13)

I like how much Phayu cares about Rain. I definitely have my problems with some of the things that happend and I guess there are going to be things I don't like in the upcoming episodes, but overall I enjoy it. And yes I had a very big issue with the 8th and 9th episode...what the fuck? That is all I am gonna say.

Kabe-Koji-Nekoyashiki-kun Desires to be Recognized (4/8)

It is so well shot and edited. I was just blown away by the art. The story…Well we are in episode one, but I guess it will be interesting. I am interested. The story of two people who meet again after years, one an artist and the other an idol. And I really want to know what happened that their paths drifted away like that and of course if and how their paths come together again 😊

Eien no Kino (2/8)

I am curious in what direction this will go, but I did enjoy the first episode. I like the aesthetics of the show. The way scenes were shot and the coloring. Really pretty!

Ghost Host, Ghost House (4/8)

This one is a funny one, well for now. I love the family 😅 The two mains have so much chemistry! The plot is intersting, Kevin and Pluem are soft and tender and passionate and so in love and yet there are some secrets and wounds which need to heal. And I am here for the ride. This show is so good!

War of Y (10/20)

I finally watched the next chapter...And yeah, I think I can't watch the stories week for week. I need to wait until one chapter is closed and binge the five episodes. This is one of the few bls I watch with a lot of tension in my body and no smile on my lips...I need to calm a bit before I can dive into the next drama...

Big Dragon (3/8)

I would say a promising start. Kind of a dub con situation on both sides? The main characters are both not really sympathetic😅 I like the bodyguards, if you can call them that. And I indeed like the chemistry between the mains.

Roommates of Poongduck 304 (6/8)

This one I like...Perhaps it is the enemies working and forced living together thing for me. I enjoy those storylines way too much! Overall it's funny and I enjoy their dynamic and acting so much more than in Kissable Lips.

My Tooth Your Love (4/12)

I guess this could be called a nightmare for people with a dental phobia. But it looks so messy and lovable and I am totally in for it! I enjoyed the acting and the sister is so bossy, but in a good way 😀 Never thought I would like a series about a dentist this much! But I do!

My only 12 % (12/14)

Okay, I can see why people like it. It is growing on me a lot with more episodes in. And now I can't watch any further because I want to know how this ends and I can't watch those two hurting. But I am still not fond of the amount of times the name "Cake" is said...This is really unpleasant for my ears 🙉

Fahlanruk (7/12)

This series is a mess! Fah is a dominant prick who tries to get his man by forcing him to everything (besides sex)! The dialogues are crap, the acting is sometimes really not that good, the chemistry…I don’t know. At this point I don’t know what story the series wants to tell us. You can’t be friends with benefits? If you are persistent enough your love/fuck interest will give in to you? What is it? But I have the time of my life watching this mess and with episode 5 it has happend...I am invested 😒

Ai Long Nhai (5/12)

Ai likes Nhai. Nhai kind of likes Ai. To test if their relationship could have a future they decide to test-date for a month and show all their habits, good and bad, in front of each other. That is what I got from the subtitles 😂 They are a mess 😅 So funny and yet so frustrating, because sometimes you just don’t get what they are saying at all 😂

To Sir, with love (2/28)

The first episodes are on youtube with english subs! First episode told us about their history and of their family. I really can't stand the secondary wife and her maid. Hateful bitches! But I like Bua. She would have been a great mother and in a way she is more of a mother to the children than their mums.

Self (3/6)

I have my problems with mirrors, so this one was kind of creepy for me, but I am intrigued how this is going on and if there are more episodes than two!

Remember Me (3/12)

Okay what happend? I am emotional invested in this story! Why did it become so good within two episodes? I love the domesticity and the wholesomeness of the third episode so much! It touched me and moved me and now I am looking forward to the next episode!

2 Moons: The Ambassador (3/12)

This might be the first series I will drop. And I watched Check Out...But the subtitles are a mess, the acting is cringy and the story is boring...okay, I am on ep 2, so perhaps there is some good plot coming, but right now I can't see it.

Already broadcasted series

Fish upon the sky (2/12)

I don't know how to feel about this. I don't like Pi that much, but the series managed to make me cry with their first episode. Of course I want to see where this jorney is taking me. I catch myself weirdly grinning from ear to ear and that is a good sign most of the times 😅

Mama Gogo (2/10)

There are too many series on the side to satisfy my need for second-hand embarrassment that I’ve neglected Mama Gogo a bit. There are sexy dancing men…so I will definitely keep watching, really!

Finished in October

Series

180 degree longitude passes through us (8/8 on Gaga) - very highly recommended

Damn, THIS WAS SO GOOD. The cinematography, the acting, the relationships, the tension. I am blown away! Every episode delivered. Definitely one of the best series I have watched, like ever! If you like sophisticated stuff, please give this a try. 10 out of 10 longing looks

Once Again (8/8 on Viki and Gaga) - highly recommended

This is a unique one and got me by surprise. I loved it even if I have cried the whole time watching the last episode. It is such a devastating and real ending. I knew it would be like that, but I hoped for something different. Nevertheless, it is a beautiful story about fate and love and grief. 10 out of 10 necklaces

My Ride (10/10 on Gaga) - highly recommended

This was some fucking wholesome shit! Damn! I love it. Why haven't I watched this one sooner? I had a smile on my face probably for the whole series. And Mork's smile? Pure sunshine and love and happiness. There might not be the strongest story, but it was well written and acted. 9,5 out of 10 sunshine smiles

My Bromance (2018/Taiwan) (12/12 on youtube) - recommended

This one was fun and light and I had a good time watching it. The focus is on the relationship between the mother and her two children. As funny as it gets, the series deals with serious issues and managed it not to be silly. 8,5 out of 10 sleepwalking fails

Craving You (10/10 on Gaga) - I can recommend without a doubt

This is as sweet as the desserts. It is not all lovey dovey and I didn't understand the concept of the collaboration, but I enjoyed this drama about a pastry chef and a singer who collab together. Best line of the drama: What I mean is, I decided to like you. That touched me deeply. 8,5 out of 10 madeleines

The Eclipse (12/12 on youtube) - recommended

It is really not easy to find the best words and the ebst rating for this one. I do like it very much, well until episode 11 happend...This is difficult. I wish they would have dealt a little different with all of the protests and homophobia and the revolution. It feels unfinished even though it is. After all I enjoyed watching it most of the times. The ending felt just too rushed. 8 out of 10 curses

Boys' Lockdown (6/6 on Youtube) - recommended

If you want something that makes you just feel good, watch this! I am still smiling :) The stroy is simple, but well done and acted and the characters are lovables. Two boys, who met in a drugstore and mixed up their meds, learn that they are each other's crush. So sweet. 8 out of 10 small dicks

Takara-kun to Amagi-kun (8/8 on Gaga) - recommended without doubts

I like this. It made me smile with every episode. At the end of every episode there was always reconciliation and they talked with each other! Their relationship is healthy and they care so much about each other! There is not much happening besides their story, but that is okay. 7,5 out of 10 blushing Takara-kuns

Love by Chance (14/14 on Viki) - recommended for Perth

Do I like the main story? Sure. I love Ae! He has such a cute pair of heart-eyes. And he so naturally loves Pete! I am in love with his love for Pete. Pete on the other hand, not my favorite. And the side stories! What in the holy hell was that? The amount of violence and SA, was that really necessary? But MAME...Do I have to say more? Guess not... 7 out of 10 of Ae's heart-eyes

Love by Chance 2: A chance to love (13/13 on Viki) - recommended for all of you who loved TinCan in the first one

I like TinCan. I like their story and that they are quite open and honest with everything. But the chemistry was difficult...It was there as long as there was no physical sexual contact. The story with Tin forgiving and helping his brother felt kind of rushed in the end, but Tul and Gonhin had more chemistry than everyone in this series together, so I am not mad that Tin helped his big brother to be together with his love again. The whole Ae/Pete storyline...was that necessary? And why couldn't you explain it better to your audience? Because it didn't make sense that they broke up? That made me really angry! 6,5 out of 10 for TinCan and TinCan only

My gear and your gown (12/12 on Youtube) - recommended if you don't know what to watch

This was okay. I liked the way the story was told. And I liked the couples and their energy, even though Itt had just one facial expression for anger, sadness or annoyence...that was a little bit annoying 😅 The story of those people falling in love was nothing new, but it was good enough to keep me hooked. I really appreciate the fact that they kind of educated about safe sex. 6,5 out of 10 earrings

I'm a fool for you 1 (4/4 on Gaga) - not really recommended

Confusing as fuck. I guess a few more minutes per episode could have helped. Most if the times I felt like someone just threw me into the scene or conversation without backstory or anything! I felt lost very often! But it is the best one for me out of the three. 5,5 out of 10 What is this all about

My Roommate (32/32 on Youtube) - not recommended

I don't know what this was. Barely two minutes per episode? Really? How can you tell a story with such a small amount of time? Well...I am, yet again, confused! This is just something else! 4 out of 10 I don't even know what...

I'm a fool for you 2 (4/4 on Gaga) - low recommendation rate

Guess what, I am still confused! At some points I got the impression they didn't know what they had talked about ten minutes ago and so the whole story changed without making any sense! Just no... 4,5 out of 10 why is this happening now

I'm a fool for you 3 (5/5 on Gaga) - only recommended if you like to suffer and watched the other seasons

Well that took a very dark turn! Still confused, because you don't get any backstory or explanation. But why so dark? Why so deeply devestating? And ending on a cliffhanger? Damn it...now I need to watch season four when in comes out...I need closure. 3,5 out of 10 dark turns

Evening Café (4/4 on Youtube) - not really recommended

This was bland and boring. It is a low production, but that doesn't mean it needs to be this bad. There are some good low productions out there which make just fun. This I couldn't enjoy. The acting was not good, the pacing was difficult, the scenes were cut together in a not so good way... 3 out of 10 too loud glass breaking noises!

Short films

Attraction (on Gaga) - recommended

What if you are in an established relationship, but developes attraction for someone else? You can't control who you find attractive, but you can decide to act on it or not. It is all about choices. This short was really good and it left me thinking. 8 out of 10 shared headphones

FUFU (on Gaga) - recommended

This is wholesome. Both lived a happy life together and in the end they stayed together. Of course the ending is sad but at the same time beautiful and an ode to love! While both are dealing with the inevitable ending they remember some happy moments. Worth a watch. 8 out of 10 times they felt like a married couple

Military Dog (on Gaga) - recommended if you're old enough and interested in those topics

A short film about a military officer who wants to be dominated by his master whose specialty is the training of human dogs. Yes, this is a short film of 10 minutes on GagaOOLala. I love Gaga for all the content they provide us with. I really can't watch any horror movie besides something with vampires or aliens, but I can watch those movies. 7 out of 10 doggy positions

One Last Order (on Gaga) - recommended if you like coffee and a good feeling in your heart

The story about a regular guest of a coffee shop who has a secret admirer who writes him love poems. That was a cute one, but at some points a little bit too long. But it has a good atmosphere and coffee. 7 out of 10 love poems

Some (on Youtube) - a mediocre recommendation level

You see how unrequired feels like. It is heartbreaking and devastating and full of wishful thinking. But in the end it is nothing but a friendship. At least a friendship so you have some parts of this person and you can be near them. But reality can just punch you in the guts sometimes. I liked it. 7 out of 10 daydreams

How to die young in Manila (on Gaga) - recommended if you have some spare time

I guess it is my month for disturbing things to watch...Well, I am more confused than disturbed. It is a little bit over artsy and missed the point it wanted to make, I guess? The dangers of being a male prostitute in Manila or just anywhere? But in the end I really don't know what exactly the point of this story should have been. The summary is not helpful at all... 6 out of 10 very graphic depiction of dead/dying people

Nabang Spark (on Gaga) - recommendation level low

This one was not my cup of tea. The bland story about two students and one og them wants to be close to the other and invites him to his birthday, but the other didn't show up. 5 out of 10 non existing sparks

Movies

The shortest distance is round (on Gaga) - not recommended at all

What a fuck-fest...I guess this movie was produced to show the dark sites of prostituion, sexual assault and just what could happen if your life takes a wrong turn...BUT! What the actual fuck? The plot was bland and with the ending (both versions) just stupid. I thought it was about a teacher-student-relationship as a main point, but that was just a catalyst for the following shit-show. The message is drowning in the flood of sexual content and that I think is really sad. It could have been so much more. Do I like it? Nope. Will I watch the rest of the movis? Probably... 3 out of 10 noises...oh those noises

What I’m looking forward to in October:

To Sir, with Love (Oct 3)

Kabe-Koji (Oct 4)

Ghost Host, Ghost House (Oct 5)

Two and One (Oct 5)

Big Dragon (Oct 8)

My Roommate (Oct 8)

Remember Me (Oct 9)

2 Moons 3 (Oct 10)

Roommates of Poongduck 304 (Oct 13)

Self (Oct 13)

My Tooth Your Love (Oct 14)

Hard Love Mission (Oct 15)

Doukysei (Oct 19)

My Tempo (Oct 20)

Eternal Yesterday (Oct 21)

Choco Milk Shake (Oct 25)

Grand Guignol (Oct 28)

Till the Worlds ends (Oct 29)

A shoulder to cry on (no exact date yet)

Happy Ending Outside the Fence/Happy Ending Romance (postponed until november)

[mxtantrights]

the ballerina, the freak and the king | 3

the lack of sleep always caused headaches. Or maybe it was after the creature bit you that you got them. Either way you’ve been having them for quite some time now. You know not to take too many pain killers in the span of four to six hours. 

The morning after Eddie Munson tricked you with a baggie filled with margarine or melted butter, you made it you personal mission to find him and tell him off. It was cruel but you were angry. Well it’s not really morning but early afternoon, but still.

You ate breakfast angrily. You showered angrily. Brushed your teeth so hard you might need to go to the dentist to see the damage you’ve done. You decide against the high bun today out of fear for your hair and your forehead. 

First you needed to return that damn video. 

You load up all you needed in your bag. Keys, wallet, the video box with the video inside, and most importantly your walkman for the long walk ahead of you. You walked most places because it was Hawkins, it wasn’t like something would be missed if you didn’t.

With your headphones over your ears you played your tape. It was Abba. You would have picked something more rock but you figured you were already pumped up and angry. You didn’t need to add to that. Abba would help you calm down a bit.

At least before you saw Eddie.

The walk to the video store is not too long. You don’t live too far from it which is a benefit. You arrive on the seventh track of the tape. You hit pause and walk inside.

Return the video. Leave the store. Find Eddie.

There at the front desk is not Robin like you expected. No one was at the desk actually. Well she can’t work all the time you think to yourself. Still you stomp on. You hit the bell once. You weren’t about to make everyone else’s lives a living hell. You know how bad a costumer service job is.

It takes a bit but from the back someone calls out that they’ll be with you. You decide to take out the tape from your bag and put it on the desk. When you do, the privacy curtain slides open.

Steve Harrington, with his head looking down at a box in his hands, starts walking towards you. 

“Welcome to Family Video can I-” 

He looks up at you. You’re not sure why. But he continues to do so until you remove your headphones, pushing them down and resting them on your neck. 

“Are you okay?” you ask.

He gulps once and then nods, “yeah sorry. How can I help you?” 

You push the tape further over to him. He looks down at it. And then back at you. He does this two more times like he can't believe you would rent Star Wars. You think to yourself that this isn’t even the nerdiest thing you’ve rented from here. He doesn’t seem to know that.

“Right, can I get your name?” he asks.

You give it to him. He then punches it into the computer. You watch as his eyes scan over the list and they flutter over to you quickly. 

“I’m not late. I just got it yesterday.” you say.

“I know. I see it.” he says.

He begins typing something else and your mind wonders back to the baggie of butter that is probably emptied on your carpeted room. Your parents will kill you if they see it, or smell it.

“Do you know if butter leaves a smell?” you ask.

At that Steve looks up at you confused. His eyebrows furrow in the middle. You realize that you didn’t meant to ask that out loud, or even ask without context first. But you did anyway.

“Sorry, I’m just thinking out loud.” you say.

“No problem,” he picks up the tape and scans it, “and you’re all set.”

You’re walking over to the door, pulling up your headphones as you do when you hear him call out to you. You look over your shoulder at him. 

“Baking Soda should take it out. The butter.” he says.

“Thanks.” you say.

You’re about two feet out the door when it hits you. You don’t know where Eddie lives. And it’s actually most likely he’s in school right now. You didn’t wan to go there and cause a scene. Too many people.

So you turn around and head back inside. You march over to Steve at the desk who looks even more confused if that was possible and a bit of something else that you can’t name yet.

“There’s a kid, Dustin that came in here yesterday. Does he come here often?” you ask.

Steve nods his head, “Yeah, I know him.”

“Even better, can you tell him that Eddie’s a little shit bag?”

“Eddie his friend, Eddie?”

“Yeah him.”

“Okay. I can pass that along.” 

“Thank you.”

And with no more words you actually leave the family video store. You put your headphones back on and decide on walking home. Somewhere between track five and track seven your anger really dissipated. 

Or really what set in was the fact you could be associated with him. And that news could get back to your parents. You would be in serious trouble. 

The walk home is long. And you speed past the section of the woods out of fear, like always. When you get home you lock the door behind you and try to stop your heart from beating out of your chest.

It only works when you sit in your room with the door locked and your arms wrapped around a pillow. In the silence you try to place yourself someplace safe. Or not your actual body, because it is safe, but your mind. 

Your mind has been in those woods since the attack. 

In the midst of trying to clam yourself you fall asleep. It’s more of a cat nap. But it is much needed sleep.The only reason you wake up is because of the phone ringing in the living room.

You make a mad dash to unlock your door, run to the living room and answer before the ringing stops. You are successful and pick it up on the last ring.

“Hello?” you ask into the receiver.

“Hey Honey, It’s Mrs.Sinclair.” 

“Oh, hello Mrs.Sinclair. How are you?”

“I’m good. How are you?”

“I’ve been better. You know.”

“Yeah I heard that you were looking for a job. And while I don’t have stay employment to offer you right now I do have something for tonight.”

“Yeah?” “How would you like to babysit Erica?” 

“I could do that.”

“Great, because me and my husband are going out and Lucas has a game so we’re in a bit of a bind.”

“Yeah it’s not a problem Mrs.Sinclair. I can watch Erica tonight.”

“Thanks again honey. And I”ll pay you for such short notice.”

[italiansteebie]

Get Loose

Read on ao3 (Recommended)

Steve blinked, contacts drying out, jaw aching, nose dripping. He thinks that if he shifts his eyes one more time they’re going to fall out, but he’s had them in for 3 days straight. What can he say? He was never good at taking care of himself. He was great at reminding people to care for themselves, but he never had anyone there to return the favor, so now after spending four days in the woods with rowdy teenagers, and Robin and Eddie, the ache settled deep in his bones and he didn’t want to move.

He knew he packed tylenol, but there was a sharp pain in his chest, and a quick thought of “It doesn’t work as well as ibuprofen,” that ultimately sealed his fate for staying on the forest floor for the rest of his days. The others were still asleep, and it was no use waking them up just so he could get some help that would be selfish of him. So, he laid there in pain until Robin woke beside him, sun glinting off her eyes as she squinted the sleep from her vision. “G’morning, Dingus,” She yawned, seeing his open eyes, he picked up a weak hand to wave at her, and she frowned. “Don’t tell me. You haven’t taken pain killers at all this trip, have you?” And he winced, shaking his head in the negative.

“Stevie!” She sighed, before shifting around to grab his bag, pulling out the hand warmers, a granola bar, and his various medications. She helped him sit up, a supporting hand stayed on his back as he let out a pain filled groan. “Thanks,” He sighed, as he grabbed the granola bar from her hands. He tried to open it, but his hands were still weak from sleep. He tried shaking them, making fists, to wake them up, but to no avail. Just as the frustration pricked at his eyes, a pale, ring clad, hand reached, and plucked the bar from his grip, opening it, and handing it back to him. “It’s okay to ask for help, Steve.” The metalhead reminded him simply, and Robin nodded in agreement. He waved them off, he felt like enough of a burden already, not being able to keep up without his joints and muscles screaming in pain, he didn’t need them to go out of their way anymore. He spat out his night guard, the dentist forcing him to get fitted with one, as his stress was beginning to grind his teeth down to nubs.  He finished up the granola bar, washing down the left over taste with a swig of water, and began preparing his meds. 

First, the antidepressants, then the anti-inflammatory, the painkillers, and finally he blinked out the over dry contacts and pushed his thick, metal rimmed glasses onto his face. He slipped the supplies back into his pack and heaved himself up to start the day, and if Eddie had to help him the rest of the way up when his knees gave out, it would be their little secret. He unzipped their tent and climbed out to see Dustin, Mike and Lucas, climbing out from their own respective tent. El, Max and Will, he assumes, were still asleep, and his hypothesis was correct as he peeked into the third tent. He figures they snuck out during the night, shifted themselves around, he already told them that they wouldn’t care, just to not be gross, and to be safe. They all groaned, but blushed awkwardly next to each other as the elders of the group gave them stern, but teasing looks. Steve backed away from the tent, back popping loudly as he stretched, feeling relief he began his morning ritual of popping, and grossing out the kids. 

They looked especially green when Steve popped his hips, and the right one shifted a little too much and he almost fell over from the sudden dislocation. “God, Steve. That’s almost worse than Dustin’s collar bone trick.” Mike groaned, looking away with a scowl on his face. Steve responded by doing his favorite party trick, turning his foot backwards, smiling widely as his ankle popped in a satisfying way. He figured he’d tormented them enough, and he finally felt like his bones were aligned the best they’d be for the day, and he began lighting the camping stove. Once lit, and nice and hot, he instructed Eddie and Robin to grab the eggs out of the coolers, and mix them for scrambling. Dustin was in charge of buttering the bread so he could toast it, ignoring Mike’s sassy question of “How are we gonna toast bread without a toaster, Steeevee?” Waving a hand he put a slice of bread down on the hot steel and listened to it sizzle, once browned sufficiently, he flipped it over and did the same to the other side. Once it was finished he flung it at Mike who caught it just before it landed in the dirt, and eyed it skeptically. Steve paid no mind to the satisfied sound that made its way out of the boy’s angsty mouth, just a smug smile on his face.  

He continued cooking and handing out food, the last three kids rising just as he’d finished making their eggs. They all blinked blearily as they grabbed their plates and forks. Steve turned the stove off, popping in some noise blockers, and ate his own breakfast that consisted of toast and strawberries, eggs making his stomach turn just by thinking of them. He also couldn’t stand the sound of people eating, so he popped in ear defenders, ones that blocked the eating sounds, but let in voices so he wasn’t left out of conversations. Eddie had bought them after Steve had a meltdown at one of their Upside Down Fighters dinners. He hummed as he ate, the group was mostly silent, except for the occasional praise for Steve’s cooking by Eddie. Once they were all finished, Steve removed the earbuds, placing them back in their case safely, and shoving them into his pocket. 

It was the last day of their trip, getting ready to load up their packs and hike back down to Eddie’s van. It was about a mile and the way Steve’s joints felt too loose under his skin wasn't a great sign. He strapped on multiple braces, one one each knee and each ankle, before pulling his jeans down over them, the only evidence of them being the limited motion they caused. As he packed up their things, he eyed his foldable cane, but ultimately decided he wouldn’t need it. This was not a smart decision on Steve’s part, and the fact that no one else encouraged him to keep the cane out instead of packing it away would lay the guilt on all of them. They were about halfway done with their hike back to the van, Steve holding the heaviest pack on purpose, he didn’t want to load up anyone else’s with shit that was mostly his. 

His breath was shaky and he reached a hand up to push the glasses that had been sliding down, back up onto his nose, but this blocked his vision for a moment. Just a moment too long, and he stepped on a rock, causing him to take a tumble. His legs buckled under him and he fell hard, scraping his knees through his jeans on the rough terrain. He held the tears in his eyes as he tried to move. “Woah, hold on, Steve.” Eddie said, kneeling in front of him. He moved around to grab the pack off Steve’s back to make it easier to shift him to see the damage. He grunted as he lifted the pack, “Jesus Christ, Steve. Why is this so heavy?” The metal head asked, exasperated, and everyone else took turns lifting the bag to judge the weight for themselves. Dustin’s eyes widened almost comically, “Steve! Half of my stuff is in here! My pack only weighs like… Two Pounds!” He shouted, to which Steve waved a hand at, trying to keep his sniffles and whimpers at a minimum. Robin shushed the clamoring group, bending down to where Steve was basically crumpled over, she helped him shift so his legs were in front of him and no longer stuck under him. 

His knee was twisted grossly and there was blood leaking from his knees. He also paid mind to the purpling of the bridge of his foot, the dislocation he could help, he would take off the brace, pop it back in, and then tighten the brace as tight as it could go. Easy peasy. The break, however, would be more difficult to deal with. He tried to ponder which leg he’d bear weight on, probably the broken foot, putting weight on a fresh dislocation could cause tears. And tears were bad, he’d be out of commission for months. He rubbed the back off his hand at his nose, wiping away the liquid that had pooled there from the tears that were still streaming steadily down his face. He was pulled from his thoughts as he saw Dustin reaching for his hand sanitizer, and Steve immediately read his thoughts. “Don’t come near me with that, Henderson.” He said as meanly as he could, still sniffling pretty often. Dustin gave him an incredulous look, “We have to clean the wound, Steve.” He shook his head. “No, that can wait. 

Look, why don’t you guys hike the rest of the way back… and I’ll make my way there while you guys sit in the car,” He suggested, not wanting to hold his friends bak. Apparently that was the wrong thing to say because he was immediately met with sounds of protest. He held up his hands in defense, ears becoming hot at the way everyone yelled in concern for him, “It was just an idea… Didn’t want to hold you guys back.” Once again, the wrong thing to say as all of them, even grumpy Mike Wheeler, were shouting at him about how he could never hold them back, how it was okay to ask for help. Eventually, they rearranged his pack to where it was distributed throughout the group, making the weight equal and bearable for everyone. Steve was not allowed to carry a pack, and Max, who didn’t have one, carried his, the rest of the way down. 

Steve allowed Eddie and Lucas to grab under his arms and help him stand, he leaned heavily on both of them, both of his legs out of commision. “I can help,” he heard El state, and before he could tell her that she shouldn’t help him, he became weightless. El had honed in her powers after defeating Vecna, and lifting things under 300 pounds didn’t even make her nose bleed anymore, so Steve was relatively easy to lift. 

With the help of Eddie and Lucas stabilizing him, and El doing the heavy lifting, they made their way back to Eddie’s van. Steve’s energy was sapped from him, and he felt useless. He’d barely done anything and was exhausted. Eddie could see the remorse on his face and so could Robin, “It’s okay, Steve. You’re tired, you dislocated your leg after hiking for half a mile with a 35 pound pack. No ones expecting you to have all the energy in the world.” She told him gently.  He shook his head ruefully, “I… I didn’t even get the worst of the injuries during Vecna and I- I’m just weak.” He said harshly. Max put her hand up before he could continue, shushing him as he began to speak, “Steve. Everytime we go through this, you get hurt. You get a concussion, this last time you got choked out for like… Thirty seconds!” She said, shushing him as he started spewing out harsh things about himself. “Stop, Steve. You haven’t had an easy life, and everyone knows by the way. Eddie spilled the beans a couple weeks ago when you left your cane in his van. To go through all of that and have another disability on top of that?” She shook her head before smiling. “You’re so strong, Steve. And you’re allowed to be tired.” Everyone nodded in agreement, especially Eddie who looked sorry that he pretty much outed Steve. They loaded their stuff in the van and helped Steve get situated before making the drive back home.

It was an hour long drive, and most of it was made up of the kids, Robin and Eddie reassuring Steve that his disabilities didn’t make him a burden. And if Steve welled up with happy tears, nobody noticed, or at least they pretended not to. They dropped the kids off, Will and El, then Max, then Lucas and Dustin, who were staying at Dustin’s house due to Lucas’s parents having taken Erica to tour a “smart kid school.”  Then driving to Mike’s house, sending him on his way with loving sneers, before making their way back to Steve’s. The elders made plans to stay in the large house as it was basically abandoned by its owners, a fact that was largely ignored, and it gave them enough room for them to spread out with their respective partners. Eddie carried Steve bridal style through the door, only pausing to make a marriage joke, to which Steve blushed and hit Eddie’s chest bashfully at, and set him down on the plush couch. He began taping Steve up, his house was stock piled with the necessary supplies for Steve’s joints. His parents got tired of taking him to the hospital each time he broke a bone, or dislocated something, so they all took classes and bought the supplies to do it at home. This was one of the times Steve appreciated his parents' laziness, because it meant he wouldn’t be separated from Eddie. 

He heard the door open and shut quickly, and he assumed it was Nancy letting herself in to hang out with Robin. He heard their greeting, and quiet giggles. It didn’t last long as he heard a door shut from his spot on the couch and he smiled as the lock clicked quietly. Eddie was gentle as ever as he wrapped the casting around Steve’s foot. He was practically an expert now, as clumsy as Steve was. He smiled in unison with Steve as he listened to Robin and Nancy’s greetings, “They’re a sweet couple, huh Stevie?” Steve nodded. He felt so full of love, the fact that Eddie was helping him, without griping or complaining, made his heart so warm. Once Eddie was done playing doctor, as Steve called it, He lifted his boyfriend and carried him up the stairs to his room, which had become much more of a nest with Eddie’s frequent company. Eddie laid him down, lifting the covers and snuggling in beside him. They quickly fell asleep under the warmth and comfort they provided for each other.

[incandescentflower]

Thank you for writing for my tooth your love, hardly there is any fic, can you do no. 41 with bai lang and An thank you

thanks for the prompt, anon!

this is 41. kisses to shut them up.

For this post: send me a prompt number from one of these lists and characters for My Tooth Your Love and I'll write a short scene.

For context, it is my opinion now that they have gotten together that these two are just make out central. Touch starved, lonely boys who enjoy the kissing. That's what they deserve.

Also on AO3 and all my mtyl one shots too.

Do Something for Me

Bai Lang had packed and unpacked his bag five times. Looking over what he had now, he was starting to wonder whether he was bringing shirts that were adult-looking enough. Why did everything he owned look like it was bought by a teenager? He probably had at least one too many hoodies. He sighed, pulling everything out, digging to find the shirts he had stupidly shoved in the bottom.

Okay, six times. 

It was only two nights, but still, it was two nights where Bai Lang would have to put on his best impression. They weren’t even leaving until the next day. Bai Lang was proud of himself for being so organized, honestly. But he wasn’t prepared. Not one bit.

He had never had to impress parents before. 

He pulled out his list. He had five stories that older customers at the bar had laughed at before. And three jokes where Xun-An gave the big, obvious smile, in front of other people, instead of the tiny, secret one just for him. He also had a list of acceptable topics. Xun-An said his father and mother like to travel, they had most recently gone to Japan. Bai Lang had been there and had a few stories to share from his trip as well. His father obviously was a dentist, and still involved in the dental association. His mother enjoyed playing the piano, which is why Xun-An also did, and she spent quite a bit of time fundraising and doing work for children’s charities. 

He flipped through the list again, trying to memorize each item and what he had prepared as talking points around them.

“Bai Lang,” Jin Xun-An said, his voice reassuring as he returned from the bathroom with the third item that Bai Lang had decided he should bring. “You don’t have to worry.”

“Oh, who’s worried?” Bai Lang said with a smile. “I do great with new people. You see me at the restaurant all the time. Charming new people for me is like…extracting teeth for you?” he said weakly, the entire sentence sounding like complete and utter nonsense as it came out of his mouth.

“But this isn’t your job, Lang Lang. I know this isn’t the same.” He gently pulled at the small notebook, firmly prying Bai Lang’s fingers off of it and setting it next to the suitcase. “Your sister was intent on challenging me. It was unsettling. I know you're nervous.”

Jin Xun-An took Bai Lang’s hand and tugged at him to bring him to the foot of the bed where he sat down and brought Bai Lang with him. “I know you were worried when I told them. They had a reaction, but it’s better now. They know you’re it for me, Lang Lang. They’ll be on their best behavior.”

Bai Lang mumbled, “It isn’t them I’m worried about.” He turned to face Jin Xun-An. “What if I run out of stories? Or what if I ramble on too long and I say something ridiculous? What if they don’t like me?”

“Who couldn’t like you Lang Lang? Even I liked you and I don’t like anyone,” he said, smiling as he repeated a joke Bai Lang liked to throw at him on occasion. 

Bai Lang knew how to charm Jin Xun-An. It wasn't even a comparison. He needed a better strategy. “What if I bake some things to bring? I could make some cakes. Oh, and put together some recipes. I could cook dinner there. And I could research some recipes from Spain that they could try before their trip. I could also…”

Jin Xun-An’s mouth met Bai Lang’s lips, completely cutting off his sentence and swallowing down Bai Lang’s words. The words were still trying to spill out as Jin Xun-An kissed Bai Lang more intently, coaxing Bai Lang’s lips to abandon speaking and instead meeting every movement of Jin Xun-An’s lips. 

When Jin Xun-An kissed Bai Lang, his entire body responded. It was almost as if Bai Lang’s entire being was always waiting to be kissed by Jin Xun-An. Life was now simply the time between being that close to him. And Bai Lang’s truest, rawest self was finally exposed when their lips touched. 

Jin Xun-An pressed a few more soft kisses to the side of Bai Lang’s mouth. “Bai Lang?” he said, his voice firm.

“Uh, what?” Bai Lang said. “Did you say something?” His mind had completely whited out. 

He grinned like a fool as Jin Xun-An shook his head. “I said, all you have to do is be there. Nothing else.”

Bai Lang's fuzzy warmth dissipated when he understood the implication. “Of course I’ll be there.” 

“I know,” Jin Xun-An said. Bai Lang let out a breath. He still wasn’t used to someone like Jin Xun-An, who pretty much always said exactly what he meant. He hadn’t been expressing doubts or passive-aggressively warning Bai Lang against running away. He was simply acknowledging what it meant to him that Bai Lang was showing up.

“Okay,” Bai Lang said, sliding his hand up Jin Xun-An’s chest and letting his fingers settle on Jin Xun-An's shoulder. “Then will you do something for me until we leave tomorrow?”

Jin Xun-An nodded, simply waiting to give Bai Lang whatever he asked. It was that look that twisted Bai Lang’s heart the most. Bai Lang was able to tolerate being broken open because that openness was all he had ever been given by Jin Xun-An.

“Kiss me,” he said, grasping at Jin Xun-An’s shirt. “Kiss me when I need a reminder that everything will be okay.”

“On one condition,” he said, pressing his hand to Bai Lang’s face. “That you’ll kiss me when I need the same reminder.”

Bai Lang smiled because Jin Xun-An never really seemed to need reassurance, but that was the point. Just because he seemed to be the one more settled, didn’t mean he never felt that way. He needed Bai Lang’s support just as much as Bai Lang needed his. That was exactly what they had agreed upon when they decided to be together.

“Deal,” Bai lang said. “Just tell me when.”

“Now,” Jin Xun-An said.

“Now?” Bai Lang asked, confused.

“Yes,” Jin Xun-An said, his expression nothing but serious.

Bai Lang kissed him, firm, but quick. “Why do you need–?” Bai Lang tried to ask.

“And now,” Jin Xun-An said. 

Bai Lang kissed him again, this time longer, fuller.

"And now," Jin Xun-An mumbled into another kiss.

Bai Lang laughed, finally getting what Jin Xun-An was doing, tackling him to the bed to kiss him senseless.

At least there was no worrying about tomorrow for the rest of the night.

[coeursetcolores]

H’aanit, the Hunter: Chapter 2

WARNING! Spoilers ahead for Chapter 2 of H’aanit’s story in Octopath Traveler!

Why are all of these Chapter 2 stories so dark?! Even Tressa’s showed the scary reality of monopolies!

We made it to Stonegard, searching for any sign of Z’aanta we could get. Hägen leading us, we found...we found out things.

Stonegard...lives up to it’s name. Lots of rocks. Everything is rocks. I get the point is that everything is carved out of rock, but the gray monochromatic color scheme is kind of dreary. The foggy lighting doesn’t help either. Sure there’s a lot, but a little paint in a few places could have helped. 

I really like the emphasis this chapter puts on H’aanit’s relationship with Z’aanta. It’s clear the two care about each other, even if he annoys her at times. And I can understand, man needs to get his vices under control. But the fact that he spends his time away from her talking about her shows how devoted he really is. It’s a sweet, relatable relationship. Which makes the end of this chapter all the worse.

Natalia was cool. It’s nice to learn about some of Z’aanta's life outside of the village. And I give credit to a widow in medieval times just trying to live her life and trying to deal with being harassed (But what is with all the entitled rich people? I’m starting to see a pattern). Also, it was nice she let a direwolf and a snow leopard hang out in her house.

I know we have British accents in this game for some people, but now we’re throwing in southern American ones? Just where is Orsterra based off of, medieval Europe or colonial America?

Spectrewood is a scary forest just like out set out to be. Dark, foggy, could easily be used in a production The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. Pretty standard. Until you meet the inhabitants.

The Lord of the Forest...is objectively terrifying. Seriously, look at a picture of it, it is scary. The worst part is it’s scary in the way only nature can be: fearsome but accepted as the way it goes and somehow beautiful. The majesty of a wooden stag is offput by the way the branches trail off to look like it’s flowing, like it’s a ghost. Also it EATS the monsters it summons! Ugghhh....

That’s not the dark part, though.

We find Z’aanta.

And he’s been turned to stone.

All this time, I just thought he was going to be dead. But, that glimmer of hope of turning him back...kind of makes it worse.

With how dark these chapters are getting, there’s a chance whatever Susanna advises won’t work. If she does have a solution.

More than dark, this chapter is just...sad.

H’aanit finds her father figure, and she can’t even reunite with him.

And the monster that did this is still out there. And I do not feel strongly about the Knights Ardante’s chances.

As for the other travelers...

Cyrus: Knowledge! And it’s about wolf facts! I want to hear his lecture...

Primrose: Okay, Prim; not all men are jerks. And you can’t just divide them into groups, people are complex. The guys in the party are pretty alright. H’aanit, you’re fine, she’s just had bad experiences.

Tressa: Aww, cute childhood anecdote. Write your parents, Tressa! You’re lucky enough to have parents, most of your companions don’t! But yeah, parents can get...creative with punishments. Hope she didn’t have a dentist appointment after that.

Therion: Listen to Therion, cut Z’aanta some slack! Let him have a break, he works hard! ...Just limit his spendings.

Olberic: ...She needed that. And Olberic’s right, your true character often only comes out in dire situations. At least Z’aanta gave them a direction to start at. I hope they get to talk one day.

Ophilia: Aww, they bonded! You’re both beautiful girls, and I’m sure Eliza would agree! 

Alfyn: Alfyn is too good for this world. Best support.

Well, our only chance is in Stillsnow.

Let’s hope it works out.

[sassycheesecake]

My pretty sunshine sachan

How are you on tumbler?

So here is the thing

I've always been self conscious about how do I look when I smile my widest smile, don't get me wrong, I love my smile and I think it's the only cute thing about me, but I just don't like how does I look when it's wide and all my teeth are showing (both of my Jaws are prominent so it looks like all my teeth are leaving my mouth) and I always end up covering my mouth while feeling delighted

BUT since now I'm an adult who's earning her own money I decided to have an orthodontist soon

How do you think Wakatoshi, Osamu, Daichi, Kyoomi and Iwazumi would react about getting a braces?

Hiii!❤️❤️

I am doing alright, I have been working on a Meian and my Osamu oneshot, but my sleep schedule is kind of messed up right now. Hopefully I will be able to finish them this year! :D

There’s always something or some things that people are self conscious about. But that’s okay! No one is perfect on the in-and outside. You shouldn’t let it get to your head to much. You’re a beautiful person, I have seen your smiles on Snapchat and they always brighten my day❤️ your fun personality adds to your awesomeness <3

You’re taking matters to your own hands and that’s great! Keep me updated on it :)

Let’s get to your ask regarding the reader getting braces! I apologize in advance I have like zero experience with that and I have never known anyone with braces :’D

Wakatoshi-kun…. Hmmm….. to be honest I see him being supportive but also confused on his partner getting braces. BUT. He would drive his s/o to the dentist and also pick them up. Honestly the best caretaker when it comes to comforting you pain wise. I don’t know about his cooking skills, I know he can do like basic things and he would be so careful with you. Gentle giant 🥹

Samuuu… I feel like he will be an asshole about it in the beginning. Like make fun of your pain in a teasing way, take post-op braces photos for his memory album on his phone and tease you about those as well. Hot chef will make food that’s easy for you to eat while you’re healing up. Husband material <333 picks you up after your appointment and closes his restaurant earlier just for you❤️ if dinner rush is too bad, he’ll make his brother pick you up. And Atsumu would take so many pics to send it to Osamu.

Captain Daichi 🤔 Daichi would take the day off to drive and pick you up from the dentist. I even think he would wait in the waiting room for you to be done. Already has a few meals prepared that his mum suggested for you to eat. He a great boyfriend <333

Omi-kun, our germaphobe beauty 🤤 Kiyoomi would only drive and pick up if it’s absolutely necessary and if seriously no one else can take you. At home he would make sure you take your pain meds exactly on time and would scold you if you take them five minutes later than the time you’re supposed to take them. Will 70% be a teasing asshole about your situation (pain-wise, swelling wise). Willingly gets you easy-to-chew-food and would go to the pharmacy at 11 pm if it means getting you more meds because of your pain.

Iwa-chan. Man’s gonna take a whole damn week off to take care of you. Hubby material as well, no one can fight me on this. Sneakily take some pics as well, whenever you think you’re not looking. He’d so concerned about your pain levels, asks like every 1-2 hours if you’re okay.

Nonetheless, none of them would love you any less just because you have braces 🥰

[variousqueerthings]

I’m watching s11 so time to reflect on s10 part 3: Charles Emerson Winchester (the third)

in my first post I talked about personal wants from s10 and about Margaret and wishing there was more of her journey happening (also edited to include the amazing yelling she does in follies)

in my second post I talked about Klinger getting so much more (deserved) focus as time goes on by the other characters, and about how I read that character as one of the only ones that’s got a stable sense of self

and so we come to Charles, who has no stable sense of self at all (lol) -- no, okay that’s not quite true, his love of art and music and food and surgery are very real, to the point that every time he has a love interest episode it’s like he’s more excited about just having someone to talk to, than actually youknow... in romantic lurve (it’s the aroaceness of it all)

Warning about this one: it got really fucking rambly, and I don’t think I reached a conclusion, so just... so unfiltered thoughtwise

where he’s always butting up against himself is the whole “my family expects me to be so and so,” which also informs some part of his snobbishness, but then sometimes people are just mean to him because he’s a weird kid (the irony ofc being that the MASH 4077th consists of weird kids, but alas, such is the burden of being a Foil)

that being said, I do on occasion go out loud “this could never have happened with Frank” and one of those episodes was of course “sons and bowlers” in which he sits with Hawkeye, while he’s desperately trying to reach his dad

I love that they chose those two for this, because it was pretty clear that Charles’ relationship with his father is probably polar opposite to Hawkeye’s with his, and now they’ve really given us that spelled out by Charles I-will-keep-all-of-my-emotions-right-here-and-then-I-will-die Winchester

I was writing that I felt like there was some great stuff with Charles in these later seasons, but actually now I’ve written out his main episodes I notice that for the most part they’re more comedic in nature -- “communication breakdown” (in which he’s just an autistic mood and the others should be nicer to him imo), “snap judgement/snappier judgement,” in which he is a terrible lawyer, but also calls Hawkeye a third rate lothario, which I rate as one of the funniest throwaway jokes of the season, “the tooth shall set you free,” which is a serious episode in which he has the non-serious part, and “pressure points,” in which he and Hawkeye and BJ wage war in the tent (and also Charles is right once again tbh)

where I think Charles really shines is that he’s so embedded in ensemble narratives and also very seldom lets people know anything about him, so when he does have an episode like “sons and bowlers” it uh... bowls you over.... (I hated that)

I may also be biased because I think he’s such an interesting character, but often his comedic episodes are things where I read him at odds to the comedy framing -- that is, for example the autism mood in “communication breakdown,” or the way “the tooth shall set you free” suggests (as many other things do) a lot of questions about his relationship to asking for help, about being vulnerable, and also... dentists. but also those other things! 

I always have mixed feelings about him being the Foil when he’s well passed being considered part of the family, but there’s something wonderful about thinking about him -- abrasiveness as a person + his pride + his self-confidence (sometimes misplaced) + snobbishness  -- and taking all of those traits and making someone one can really root for (Frank could never because Frank never genuinely tried) 

I think a part of it is also that David Ogden Stiers radiates so much warmth and hilarity that it shines over onto Charles (similar to how BJ would not work if it weren’t for Mike Farrell appearing to genuinely be all those things BJ tries to present himself as) 

this has all gotten a bit unfocused, but there’s something I wonder about in terms of how I feel some characters are a tad too underserved (Margaret  and Father Mulcahy) while others are really shining through (especially Charles and Klinger) in these later seasons, what it is that makes them to my mind when I see them

I think with Klinger, Margaret, and Father Mulcahy I was able to write my way to what I feel about them at this point -- there’s also something about Hawkeye that’s hard to sum up in one post. He has genuinely great focus episodes, but he doesn’t get to exist/have fun/be a part of the ensemble without there being drama so much these days, and I feel like sometimes you’re watching a guy who’s already down getting punched over and over 

with Charles it maybe is a lot vaguer, or else I just haven’t ruminated on the point so much, but I do think the balance of him in the episodes -- light-hearted comedic to sudden single Moments that hit you in the face -- is technically good, even as I also think that the ones where he’s “given his comeuppance” are often not related to anything he’s done so badly wrong (was it @genderquer-klinger who wrote a good post about that?) 

in a lot of ways this has been him since the beginning and in that sense s10 isn’t any different -- in my post about the episodes I think were the most fitting for what I needed from a late season (something deeply exploring characters and furthering their relationships with one another/furthering the narrative/going deeper into Themes) I didn’t have any on there that focused on Charles, although “sons and bowlers” was close and the Hawkeye and Charles parts of it are some of my favourite on the show as a whole

as a conclusion to this (and can you tell you’ve been taken through my brain processing, rather than an actual edited post) I think what I need to do on my next watch is note the ways in which Charles exists in episodes from when he first arrives at the 4077th and until the end

have a hypothesis that he’s a character with some episodes that go really hard (I’m also thinking about “the life you save” end s9), but that a lot of him is found more in comedy episodes that “aren’t meant to be that deep” but a bunch of autistics looked at him and went “one of us!” (and.. yeah... that is what happened)

also I was just perusing through s10 episodes again and in “identity crisis” Charles has another one of the subtly funniest moments on the show, I just

[holds tongue depressor]

Charles: tell me do you know anything about anatomy?

Guy he’s about to fuck with: No

Charles [snaps tongue depressor]: Yes, I thought not

I just... cannot... with the comedic timing of him

(also both in that one and in “sons and bowlers” Charles and BJ team up to fuck with someone by making him think he’s sick)

(also also last note to bring it to the notion of “stable identity” + combined with “some of the comedy comeuppances aren’t that funny” I think some of the lack of stable identity read into him also comes from a bunch of us projecting onto him as someone who is deeply repressed about who he is and what he wants, and so often acting against his actual deeper wishes, and that often when he shows more of his real self he gets rebuffed -- and you know, that’s not technically wrong either, the show does have these moments in canon, for example how he talks about his father in “sons and bowlers” -- it’s just that it never becomes a “you know I may not wish to marry/have children at all, also I’m autistic as they’ll call me 50 years in the future” kind of conversation)

[griim]

The chair and its effects on Gemma

okay, so big trigger warning the following contains mention of; child abuse, child experimentation, general abuse, inhumane treatment, memory loss, electroshock, memory loss and memory wiping, trauma, and burns mention. (if I missed any more please let me know.)

before we start there are a few things you need to know;

Treatment; Was/is the code word for what they called being wiped. Each doll/person believed it was a simple appointment, not a wipe. They would not know anything about this. 

Blank Slate/Doll-like state; This is post wipe/treatment where the person has not been given a personality, during these times the person will be child-like and not know most things. They like routine. The Chair; Now I will interchange this with the machine because they are the same thing. The chair is hooked up to a machine that does the work but you are in the chair as it happens.

Matthew Harding many years before the twins were born, worked for and with a company that ran these places that were around the world. They were called Dollhouses. Each house having its methods of running things. While not much is known about the other houses. Gemma learned about how her father had done things in his, or rather how he didn’t do things in his house. He did not care for them, he was inhumane, keeping all the people there in CAGES. The chair that he used was one of the most painful, to him this was just a way to make money and this was the start of the future. One where he could help prolong life, though at the cost of people who never had a say. One of those very people being the twin’s mother, though Matthew would never admit it. The chair in question looked like a normal dentist chair, but once on it and it was turned on it was completely different. Electrical impulses and frequencies would begin to change everything about you.

Once activated for the first time on a person, the chair would map all things about you. This would be your brain and its functions, any talents or muscle memories you had. After doing this your personality and everything about you that makes you… are stored on a flash drive. IF YOU’RE LUCKY. Once you have been ‘saved’ the machine that is connected to the chair then wipes everything about you, right down to any talents you might have. When it is all said and done you are nothing more than a blank slate, ready to be programmed as the person sees fit. Each of these ‘treatments’ can last minutes to seconds depending on what is happening to them. When a person is in their blank slate, they will have no personality and be flat. Because well they don’t know any better. They also will be easily over-stimulated and not understand most things and raising your voice at them will get you nowhere. It would be like talking to a brick wall.

After being programmed a person could be whatever or whoever the person giving you the treatment wanted. There were records of there being thousands if not hundreds of thousands of people who had been programmed. Gemma, having found some files found that they could make someone speak any known language to man. She also found they could make them a cold-blooded killer… Or a sexual person. But after all, is said and done the person who had done these things remembered nothing. While the person they were with or the family of the person they killed lived with the reality. This was all funded by contracts, secret ones, that were funded by organizations like HYDRA. During one of his experiments, Matthew realized he could prolong life and make people live on forever. Or be in multiple places at once. Matthew knew he could capitalize on this, putting it out there people began to realize this was not good. As word got out the organization was quickly taken down, everything either destroyed or taken and heavily locked away. Though HYDRA continued to reach out to Matthew, though knowing best for them to remain in the darkness.

The future that Matthew had planned came crashing down, he and his family quickly went into hiding. After years of remaining in the darkness, he began to weave himself more into HYDRA, his beliefs aligning with theirs. Matthew even managed to wrangle in a couple of scientists who began to help him recreate the chair, promising those who supported this idea eternal life. HYDRA began to get him what he requested, though under the stipulation that if this failed he would be paying with his life. Years passed and with a few setbacks, it was finally time to test it. Matthew realized he needed subjects, to make sure that it was going to do what he promised it would. Asking HYDRA for those subjects, he was told to get his own, they needed to make sure that they would not be wasting their recourses. Being rejected made him angry, but he was going to make sure this continued. Knowing he could not kidnap anyone, he needed to lay low, and HYDRA wasn’t going to supply him with anyone he had two choices. Gemma or his son. Matthew not wanting to harm his heir, Matthew chose to try it on his daughter, who was only seven at the time. Once everything had been hooked up, he and a few scientists take Gemma from her bed and strapped her down to the chair.

Gemma not understanding began to struggle, though this soon stopped as the machine was turned on. Lights began to flicker around the room as a buzz filled her ears and the young girl began to convulse and eyes rolling to the back of her head, arms struggled against the restraints and screams filled the room. Though they fell on deaf and uncaring ears, this was all in the name of science. As the electrical pulses surged through her burns began to form on her temples, the current being too high and the chair not being safe for such a young mind. This continued for minutes as it mapped everything about the seven-year-old girl’s brain. Moments before the process had ended Gemma’s body gave out and she laid in the chair unmoving. Her eyes had become glossy and she knew nothing, not even her name. Unlike most of the dolls who came before her, Gemma’s memories were not stored. So the first seven years of her life are gone, anyone, she might have known or things she might have seen were just… GONE.

Once Gemma regained consciousness the questions began, and bright lights were shinned in her eyes. Though she knew none of the answers to what they asked, they continued. The scientists took their notes and Gemma was returned to her room, frightened and alone. Head throbbing Gemma knew nothing, it wasn’t until the next morning when she was finally told what her name was. When she had asked what happened she was told she was given ’a treatment’ and that these things would help her, not remembering much she trusted it. This process continued for years, memories were made, changed, and replaced. Each time the burns on her temples becoming more and more pronounced, and the effects had begun to show. Once Gemma was proven a success, the project was given the go-ahead, more people were tested on. HYDRA becoming more please with the outlook, they began to visit the house more. Sometimes even sitting in on Gemma’s ‘treatments’. Each time Gemma’s screams and pleads being ignored.

While the scientists did not think about the side effects, Gemma began to feel them. They were slow at first, a headache here and there but it soon began to worsen. One day while sitting in her room she noticed her left side began to become weak, and she could not feel anything. Panicking she tried to get help but they ignored her and dismissed her, after this Gemma collapsed and slept for nearly forty-eight hours. After waking she remembered things she had not before, these instances continued the rest of her childhood. Each time she was put in the chair only made it worse. When Gemma found out what they had been doing to her she ran away and chose to live on the streets rather than be some experiment. Even though Gemma had escaped, others were not so lucky, and her father continued to work on the chair. Most likely perfecting it, hurting countless people in the process. **

It was when she was on the streets that Gemma began to learn how to handle the headaches. Gemma began to realize that if she was around certain frequencies of sounds or flashing bright lights (STROBE LIGHTS) she would begin to feel the headache and numbing feeling. After finding out what triggered her, Gemma would actively try to avoid them, though sometimes she was not so lucky. But even though Gemma avoids these as best she can, she can not escape the damage to her brain. Now and then Gemma will begin to feel an intense headache followed by numbness and weakness on the left side of her body. After some time she usually faints and when she wakes she either has lost days, months, and sometimes years of memories. If she is extremely unlucky she even goes to a blank slate. Learning how to combat this is something Gemma continues to learn to do, some tricks she has learned are to put little notes in random places with names and such to try to jog her memory. But for now, Gemma has no idea how to stop this from continuing or how to fix it.

(okay that was a lot i know but i hope that all made sense.) **Gemma’s father is still alive and working on the chair, she wants to kill him but just hasn’t had the chance yet.

[coulsons-fullmetal-cellist]

On a Wing and a Paw

Chapter 2 of Easter Head Hunt

A montage of the history of the holiday of Easter appears on screen. Starting with a picture of the pagan goddess Ostara and progressing to Christian pictures of Jesus on the cross and finally ending with modern pictures of Easter egg hunts.

A voice over comes from BUCK CANEJO while soft music plays in the background.

BUCK: (V.O.) Used to be the holidays were important, they meant something to people. I mean, take my gig. It was all about celebrating the harvest, the spring breaking through the cold and being an end to winter. A fun party time.

And then it got taken over and made to be about some dead guy coming back to life. How crazy is that? We went from nature’s rebirth to the rebirth of one guy. The parties were less fun.

Once childhood became a thing, it became all about the family. And with that, we get the chocolate and the cute bunnies. Gone with the worshipping of deities and greed has become the altar.

INT-BAR-NIGHT

The camera focuses on a table where an empty glass slams on the table. It is revealed that BUCK is sitting alone in a dark corner at a table in an unassuming bar. He looks to be heavily into his drink and pours himself another one.

A bag drops to the table. BUCK looks up and sees a man standing in front of him. The man is wearing a kilt that matches his stylish suit. They nod to each other as they are old compatriots. This is SEÑOR PEREZ, the Tooth Fairy.

BUCK: (nods at PEREZ) Good haul?

PEREZ nods as he takes a chair and swings it around before sitting down.

BUCK: (referring to the bag) What d’you use them for anyways?

PEREZ: If I told you that, I’d have to kill you.

BUCK just chuckles like this is an old joke between them and takes another sip. He gestures to the bottle of mead.

BUCK: Did you want a drink?

PEREZ: Yeah, though it looks like you’ve had a head start.

BUCK: Well if you want to be the tortoise in this race…

BUCK passes a glass to his friend. PEREZ takes the glass and gives a concerning look at his friend.

PEREZ: You doing okay buddy?

BUCK: I don’t know man. The holidays just seem to feel less and less meaningful each year.

PEREZ: You’re not giving up on the job, are you?

BUCK holds the glass to his face and gives an uncertain shrug.

PEREZ: At least think of the children.

BUCK: It’s all cheap commercialised shit these days. Quality is not like it used to be.

PEREZ: Tell me about it. Dentists are having a field day.

BUCK: At least you’re not at risk of being outsourced.

PEREZ: I’m an every night guy. Speaking of which…

PEREZ takes a drink and stands up. He pats his friend on the shoulder.

PEREZ: Just remember Buck, if you give it all up, you’ll be putting a lot of hard-working bunnies out of a job.

PEREZ gives his friend another pat on the shoulder. He grabs his bag and walks off. BUCK looks over to where his friend has walked off to, but he has disappeared into the night. BUCK continues his drinking.

[mwplanet]

Wayback Ward

What were Mary Ward teachers like in their high school years?

By Aby Villasis

Mr. Titus in the math department

Photo by Sarah Emery

Here’s a little insight into some of our Mary Ward teachers' high school lives!

MR. LOCONTE

Mr. Loconte is one of Mary Ward’s very own! He was in TA 02 and a self-proclaimed nerd. In Grade 10, he had a math teacher that he did not agree with and avoided her at all costs, regardless of him needing help with his work. As a result, he did not begin unit one of math until halfway through the school year in January. He expressed how poor his work ethic was during that year. He also recalled a time where he memorized and presented five French assignments on the very last day of school — which his teacher was unamused with.

When he was a student, Mary Ward had yet to introduce conditional zeros and the one unit per week rule. There seems to be more structure now than before.

“Mary Ward was a little bit of a wild west when I was here [as a student],” Mr. Loconte says jokingly.

In Grade 11, he had a short romantic interest of his own. A year later, he was met with an amusing series of romantic rejections. He had his own share of people he rejected as well.

Mr. Loconte was a part of Mary Ward’s jazz band with his friends and played the saxophone. Additionally, he was also on the volleyball, softball, curling, and soccer teams.

ADVICE: “You really need to try hard despite it seemingly being uncool. And, it’s okay to be rejected. It does not define who you are.”

DR. ENGALLA  

Dr. Engalla went to two different high schools, Parkdale CI and Father Michael Goetz. She liked all her teachers equally and they were all very kind to her, but she especially had a strong connection with her music teacher. Her music teacher constantly had a positive attitude which made classes more enjoyable. She felt that he always believed in her and encouraged her to always be the best version of herself.

She was extremely involved athletically throughout high school. She played badminton, volleyball, basketball, and softball. Out of all of them, her favourite was badminton.

Prior to teaching, she wanted to become a dentist. However, things didn’t work out, and she decided to go into pharmacy instead. She stuck with that for a couple of years until switching to chiropractic, where she practiced for two years before she decided to become a science teacher at Mary Ward.

ADVICE: “Don’t be too hard on yourself and expect to figure everything out in your grade 12 year. You will encounter obstacles along the way which will detour your trajectory in life, but trust that whichever path you are meant to follow is the right road for you."

MRS. PEZZETTA

Mrs. Pezzetta went to a very tight-knit high school with a rough population of about 400 students. Due to the small population, everyone had developed a close friendship amongst each other. At the time, Grade 13 still existed and she had a positive attitude about it as she felt that it was a great chance to explore, grow, and mature before heading to post-secondary.

She had no issues with any of her teachers, but she felt that her Phys Ed teacher helped her out the most. They were her coach and, overall, someone she could talk to when she needed it. They gave her a lot of moral support and were very encouraging and engaging.

Mrs. Pezzetta was romantically interested in the same guy for three years in high school. He was a year younger than her and they were close friends at the time.

She was heavily involved in the school community. She was on the music council, every female sports team, the yearbook team, student council, and various other clubs. Additionally, Mrs. Pezzetta also won many awards for both academics and athletics.

“I don’t know how I did it in high school. You [current students] definitely have different pressures that I never had,” Mrs. Pezzetta says.

ADVICE: “The best thing you can do is make a connection with teachers - it can carry you far.”

Hopefully, you’re able to take in their advice and experiences as guidance for your own high school journey. Don’t be afraid to seek help from any of your teachers for anything — there’s a high chance they went through it as well!

[darkobssessions]

Personal Autistic Experience Reminders

You hate drinks served in the short round teacups with thick rims and impossibly small handles. Tea, obviously, but especially latte like drinks. You’re afraid of cracking your teeth on the reinforced edges, and you often do. You’re afraid of spilling and the cup happily obliges and swishes your drink all over the plate. The tea cups make the drink taste clinical. You worry every time you set the thing down that it is going to rock back and forth (and spill) and you have an impossibly hard time finding the groove it slots into on the plate. All around 0/10 do not recommend.

You sleep on your left side, so pick your side of the bed accordingly. Applies to flights as well. If you pick the other side, the middle or the aisle, you are not going to be getting any sleep. For shorter flights, aisle is good because then you can get yourself to the toilet without disturbing anyone, and looking down the aisle makes things less cramped. You have to account for people and snagging you every time they walk by though, and the food carts and flight attendents making frequent stops.

You don’t like to be rushed during purchases even if you came all the way out to get something or investigate it. You’ve made bad decisions before being rushed, and you’ve learned your own likes. You like to take your time comparing and analysing an item’s features, and you may just save it for another day until you are sure. If the ONE thing you are sure works for you is out of stock you are taken aback at suddenly having to pivot. If, on the other hand, you love it, you just buy it on the spot now because favourites are hard to find. You also like to get things done and prefer to leave as soon as possible and tick the task off your list. 

You will sense a microchange in your body so be extra gentle with yourself after a dentist visit, new haircut, trying a new method or item. You will be disoriented, probably not like it, you may even go through a period of mourning. Remember to not schedule some kind of taxing social activity or event before or after those days because if you’re dreading/anticipating it you will not have the capacity and you will be impacted afterwards no matter how well you think you are going to take it. You once cried a whole entire day because the shape of your tooth changed. You’re probably going to be inconsolabe. 

You will not be able to sleep if there is a mini fridge inside the hotel room or studio apartment so take this into account and go for something else. You can try to unplug it but the cable is usually hidden inside a built in cabinet. Cold groceries is great, no sleep is not. Ideally, you need both. Not to mention, needing to go around the entire room and cover lights coming off of electronics/unplugging them, draping tapestries and blankets over the blinds because they are usually 0.0001% light blocking and generally not being able to rest until you set up the room for sleep. You’re still not going to be able to sleep that first night in the ‘new’ place, so when you consider that last minute one night getaway, make it multiple, or don’t go at all. 

Your morning routine is non-negotiable. It takes you as long as it takes to get yourself ready and you want to do it in complete silence and without someone pressuring you to get out of the door, because every aspect of it is stress sensitive and you’re not okay for the rest of the day if you skip any step. You can’t digest cardboard at top speed washed down with coffee. You can’t just ‘use the toilet at work’ instead. You can’t skip the meal and have something else later. There aren’t something else’s. It’s why you’re this way. You’ve tried everything and THIS is what works. 

You don’t like art markets. You want to support local artists you just don’t want to have to walk up to stalls and stand awkwardly with the expectation of eye contact, conversation or purchases. You don’t know what to do with yourself in these venues; the set up confuses you. People are roaming casually and you are intentionally trying to be casual and it’s just an akward mess. Today you walked into a very small market, looked at three stalls, stopped to speak to someone you met once a few days ago who invited you to the event, leafed through his amazing book, panicked, and left. You don’t like these markets no matter how many times you forget and get out there to see what people are making.

To be continued.

[uncensored-energy]

2/3/24

I don’t know. I don’t know anything.

I know right now, that I’m working in myself. I know right now, I’m prioritizing school and work. I know right now that I’ve been spreading myself too thin.

I don’t think I can date right now. I’ve been single for a few months now. Sometimes I think I miss connection. But I honestly think I’m bored. And boredom is okay, it’s peaceful, and it isn’t an excuse to compromise everything I’ve built up until this point.

I had a busy week. I had full time stem classes, worked full time, I spent 14 hours at the dentist just to begin fixing my teeth, I had a concert, my friends birthday, and I’m shout to start my period. I wasn’t able to take care of myself all week. I feel like shit. I cried in the bathroom, I hyperventilated, I can feel myself being avoidant.

I don’t think I have time to entertain anyone. It partially feels like an excuse. I know how triggering a healthy partner would be. I know how much work that’s going to take. And I don’t want to do it. I don’t have the time. Not right now. I don't trust myself enough yet. I don't trust my routine. I don't trust other people enough. i barely have time for my priorities. I barely have time for myself. I don't think I have it in me to willingly risk my heart like that.

I can see my anxious and avoidant attachment right now. Honestly, it’s not worth risking me. I can’t give what I’d want to receive in a relationship. I don’t want companionship, it’s a waste of time and another opportunity to lose myself. I don’t think I have it in me for a romantic relationship.

I’m getting to know more of me, I’m getting to explore and love and hold me. I’m learning how I want to show up for my friends better, and what kind of person I want to be in relationship to them. I’m working on being more kind, gentle, reliable, giving, honest, and loving. To myself and the people I care about. I’m so grateful to have the time to play with me and care about me.

I know my heart is not open right now. I still have that feeling of not wanting to be loved or cared about or leaned on, especially when I’m not doing well. The idea of meeting someone makes me feel dread instead of excitement. I feel like it’s a cop out, to not push myself in that aspect right now, but I also feel like it’s the truth. That I just don’t have enough to give to anyone but myself and the people I’m already building community with.

I want to be healthy. I want to be happy. I want to be stable. I want a romantic partner at some point. I know what I want and need. But I don’t have it in me right now. My priorities remain myself and making sure I can be the best for me. And it sucks to say that, because I’d love to be kissed and snuggled. But I don’t have the energy to give anything healthy what I need to. I don’t have the time or the energy or the mental/emotional stamina to take on all of my triggers *with* someone right now. I need to learn to do that by myself and get better at it before I can even consider bringing someone else into it.