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peach-and-bugs · 2 years

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🪶Alma LeFay Peregrine SFW Alphabet🪶

Fanfiction master list

disclaimer: don't repost my work. I only post on Tumblr and on Ao3. anything else is stolen and should be removed immediately

Warnings: very mind angst but nothing serious

Word Count: 3,185

A/N: well, it's been a minute. I'll be honest, I haven't been writing much, but I want to. so I thought I'd fill out some safe-for-work alphabets as well as some NSFW alphabets and honestly, it's pretty fun! it's helped me to characterize some of the characters I work with to my liking and even inspires some longer fic ideas.

but here we have Alma, who's actually been my number-one comfort character for a while now. I'm surprised I haven't written for her yet. but now I've got some ideas based on this, so we'll see what comes of it! As always, feel free to leave questions or comments in my comments or ask box, and happy reading!🪶

Alma LeFay Peregrine Tag List:

General Tag List: @summergeezburr

-🪶-

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Alma isn't the most visibly affectionate, but that doesn't mean that she isn’t affectionate. She’s just more subtle about it. She doesn’t do anything very visible in front of the children, not because she’s ashamed of you or your relationship, but rather because she doesn’t want to deal with all of the giggling, gossip, and dramatics that’s sure to follow whenever the little ones see any form of PDA. And the children are well aware of your relationship status and view you as a second parental figure. Alma prefers to take your hand on walks and lean against your shoulder, kiss your knuckles or your cheek when the children and spend quality time together cooking dinner.

But when you get your alone time, she’s all over you. Quality time and physical touch are her preferred ways of feeling loved by you. If she’s reading with you in bed, she’d going to be leaning against you and she’d be quite clingy in her sleep.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

You’d initially be colleges, but you were also former students at the academy together. You probably weren't friends in your younger years, but you definitely knew each other well enough and got along amicably. When you were sent to assist in Alma’s loop, she would have had some trouble adjusting as the implication she needed help would be mildly insulting, but eventually, you grew on her and she’d come to enjoy your company, even seeking it out when she got a moment to herself while the children where occupied.

Your friendship again would be quiet, starting as simply enjoying being in the same space as one another, but it would slowly turn into a conversation, which blooms into a warm friendship.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Alma is quite touchy when you're alone. She loved curling up in bed with you after a long day of caring for the kids, and she’s quite fond of skin-to-skin contact. I imagine she also gets cold easily and loves curling up under thick blankets with her partner to keep warm. But don’t let the children see- they wouldn’t be able to stop talking about seeing their headmistress so soft for weeks!

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Alma is quite fond of domesticity, given that her job is being a caregiver and raising the “young” of her species. She loves cooking and often makes quite extravagant meals, but isn’t the fondest of cleaning. But that’s alright! She can always ask you or one of the children to do that if she feels inclined. She loves her duties, but still values the time to herself to read the mail or catch up on a new book when she can.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Alma would already be so particular about her partner, it’s hard to imagine she’d start a relationship with someone who she could see herself breaking up with. I think the only instance would be to protect you and/or her children. If she knows something is on its way to harm you, and sending you away is the only thing that will keep you safe, she knows breaking things off will be the only way you’ll leave the island.

She’d be gentle, but firm, and oh how it would hurt. It would hurt her the entire time, but she wouldn’t show it. Not till she knows you’re gone and she’s out of sight of prying eyes.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quickly would they want to get married?)

I don't think a formal ceremony or any kind of paperwork would be necessary as long as you promise that she’s yours and you're hers. I think she’d like a ring, but again, it wouldn’t be a priority. It would take some time though before she got to that point.

Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if one day she just started calling you her wife/husband/spouse without any kind of forewarning, as though that’s how she’d always referred to you. When asked why she’d shrug and just say that it felt right and she liked it

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Despite her rather quick, birdlike mannerisms, Alma is incredibly gentle, mostly because she works with children, but also because she cares. Gentleness is quite surprising, but the tenderness that comes with it is perfect. She holds you like your glass that will shatter at her touch, and you often have to remind her that you won’t break.

Emotionally, Alma puts up a good front, and for the most part, she’s quite tolerant. It takes a lot to hurt Alma, but when she is hurt, the recovery takes time. In that instant, she shuts down and throws herself into her work, ignoring any and all things that have wounded her.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

She loves hugs from her children, especially when the little ones wrap their arms wound her knees and squeeze as hard as they can. But her hugs with her kids and with you are two very different things. Hugs with the kids are soft and fun, often lifts them off the ground to make them laugh as much as she can.

But with you, hugs can be rarer and when you get one, they’re consuming and holding like she’s trying to make sure you’re all there. Often you have to squeeze her tighter, making sure she knows she’s got you and you aren't going to disappear from between her hands. You've found that resting your head on her shoulder and kissing her neck help relax her once more when she gets this way.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Much like when she starts calling you her wife/husband/spouse, it's offhand and without warning, like she hasn’t thought about it. She doesn’t vocalize this kind of affection often, preferring to show rather than tell. But it’s so nice when she does say it.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Alma doesn't think she’s the jealous type, because what does she have to be jealous about? She’s confident in her relationship and your loyalty to one another, after all. (right?) the Ymbryne would never admit it, not even to herself, but she is definitely the jealous type. Not because she thinks you’ll leave her for someone else, but because she worries she doesn’t give you as much as you deserve, and maybe she’d keeping you from someone who can do better than she can.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Besides your lips, because we know she loves those, Alma loves kissing your forehead/hairline, your palm, and knuckles as well as your jaw, but that’s only when she knows no one’s looking.

On her, she loves when you give her quick kisses on the cheek before running off with the children, though she won't let you know that. But she also adores it when you kiss her fingertips and her collarbones during more intimate settings. She also loves when you kiss the bridge of her nose.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Obviously, she’s good with kids. That’s her whole job after all. She’s rather strict, but she’s got that warm and soft part of her that’s actually quite closer to the surface than you might imagine. She keeps every little drawing or gift that the children give her, tucked away in your bedroom for safekeeping.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Alma’s definitely the early bird, which you love to tease her about. But when she has the time she loves staying in bed, wrapped up in warm sheets with you. She loves the sleepy look on your face when you wake up to her staring, again. And she loves it when you absently stretch out as you wake up, but cling to her skin. Lazy mornings, though thin and far between, are some of the most treasured memories that she has with you

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Alma loves ending her evenings with a nice warm bath (sometimes together), a cup of tea, and reading a good book. Sometimes, she reads out loud to you, mostly when either of you can't sleep. She often falls asleep after you. She likes watching your slow breathing for a moment before also nodding off.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Like most other interactions, Alma reveals facts about herself seemingly out of nowhere, though it's still at relevant times. To you, it's a surprise, but to her, she’s been thinking about telling you and now just feels like the right time. At some point, you get used to her intermittent fun facts popping up in conversation, but it's quite a shock at first.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

She’s built up a really good tolerance for most things since she’s a mother, so she doesn't get mad very often. But she can get annoyed, which might as well be just as bad. You used to annoy her quite often when you first were getting to know each other (in reality she was growing to like you and she panicked, which caused her to purposely avoid you, which is something she also does when she’s annoyed, but she won't tell you that).

Over time she’s gotten much better at communication and telling her how you feel if she happens to get irritated with something. She’s quite surprised when you work to accommodate these feelings, which you tell her she shouldn't be, since that’s your job as partners, and you do the same with her if you're the one annoyed.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing or do they kind of forget everything?)

Alma remembers absolutely everything you tell her. She even goes as far as to write it all down in her diary. With every day being the same, any new bit of information is worth holding onto.

She left her diary open to a page dedicated to little tidbits all about you out on her stationary once when you were tidying her room (before you were officially anything) and when she walked in the room and caught you reading you were both quite embarrassed for different reasons. You thought she would be upset with you invading her privacy and reading the book, which you profusely apologized for, but she was worried you'd find it strange she had been writing down nearly everything she’d learned about you in the first place. She relaxed significantly when you sheepishly admitted you found it quite flattering.

Sometimes before bed, Alma reads through her diary. Not to remember or memorize, necessarily, but more to mull over the past and think of how much everyone in her little family has grown.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Alma’s favorite memory of you diffidently hadn’t been her favorite at the moment, but she’d grown exceedingly fond of it nowadays.

It was shortly after you'd moved in, maybe three or four months give or take, and before the loop had been initially set. It was also before you'd really started getting to know one another, so you were still practically strangers. But by then the children already loved you and were all over you practically every hour of the day. Alma always worried you'd have enough of it and snap at one of the younger kids for their clingy behavior, but that never seemed to be the case.

She’d been walking through the house, making sure she had tabs on every child in case of any accident when she passed by the study. She first noticed that the thick velvet curtains had been opened up, letting in a warm afternoon light that basked over the couch. Further inspection found you basking on said couch with a book in hand and three children curled up in your lap. The twins had cuddled up together on the farther and by your feet, while Claire lie across your chest, snoring ever so softly with her head nuzzled right under your chin. As you flipped through your book, your free hand gently stroked through her curly blonde hair. Alma knew the girl loved this kind of tender affection, but she was always afraid that her second mouth would accidentally bite anyone who dare touch her hair, so she ignored the desire. Despite not giving the action your full attention, you were so mindful to keep away from the mouth, which was actively drooling as Claire slept.

It was the tenderness of the scene that made Alma realize her fondness for having you around. And while the admission had been only hers, she panicked, rushing to leave the view behind and busy herself with a new activity to push down whatever the fuzzy feeling in her chest might be.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Your wife is extremely protective of you and your children, just like any Peregrin would be with her nest. She demonstrates this when she leaves with Barron, no questions asked, or when her brothers “come into town”. You constantly scold her for her recklessness, almost calling her eager for danger. She scoffs at the notion, but deep down knows that you are right about it. A part of her craves danger, the thrill of adrenalin, but she tells herself that it's because she’d rather it be her you or the children.

Alma insists that she doesn't need you protecting her, but she does. Not physically, that is, but emotionally. You are her rock, whether she likes it or not, and it's you who will take on the “chore” of caring for her, as she would put it. But you don't mind. You tell her that you'd never mind if it's for her. She does her best to believe you, and over time she does.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, and everyday tasks?)

Special occasions like date night and anniversaries can be tricky since proper alone time can be challenging, and given the situation of the time loop, there's always the chance of forgetting what day it actually is. But that’s alright with both of you. You've come to enjoy stolen time together rather than grand gestures.

However, if you do have a date night or evening alone, it’s generally thanks to your older kids taking the littles out for an “adventure”. Alma insists that it’s embarrassing, but you've both grown quite fond of your evenings alone. It's definitely helped your relationship in the long run and the kids seem to enjoy going off on their own for a few hours. You like to think it makes them feel grown up for a while.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

She tried her best not to have many “bad habits” and if she did have any she wouldn’t admit it, but you know her worst habit is not verbalizing what she wants. She’ll go for a day not asking for a simple thing, then get frustrated when it doesn't happen. You try your best to get her talking, but she insists that she's fine. It could be as simple as wanting a chore done, or bigger, like asking for your presence or attention.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Despite only seeing the same people every day, Alma is very pristine when it comes to her appearance. You joke that it’s the bird part of her, always keen to preen both her hair and feathers. She scoffed at this idea but nevertheless, you insist on your theory. Alma says that she just likes things to be on schedule and the same.

However, she’s willing to let her hair down (literally and metaphorically) with you. She loves it when you help wash her hair or take the pins out for her. The feeling of your nails scratching at her scalp is exacerbating and does something to her every time.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Absolutely. While she has her children, you fill an extra space that she didn’t realize was empty till you filled it. Now, the thought of losing you would eat her alive and she wouldn’t know what to do with herself.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Similar to when you own a pet, you find feathers stuck almost everywhere. Mostly they’re little fuzzy ones that stick to your clothes or sheets, but sometimes you find them in your hair or sticking out of your pillows. It's not because Alma turns into a bird or anything in her sleep, but sometimes she has leftover baby feathers from when she does transform that she forgets to preen, as she likes to say.

This also sometimes happens when she dreams. She’ll go to sleep featherless, but wake up from a dream with baby feathers sprouting from her hairline and along her shoulder blades. She detests it and generally has a “grumpy morning” as the children like to whisper, but you find it charming and always offer to help her pluck and preen the spots she can't reach.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

She can't stand it when the children try asking one parent a question only to ask the other the same thing when they don't get the answer they want. She knows if she tells a child no, they’ll go right to you with no hesitation in hopes of a yes. And it isn’t your fault, but you don't notice this game they play and will give them the answer they want with the right kind of begging. It makes her quite cross to learn that her kids would stoop that low. You all know that you can’t say no to their sweet faces.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

Rather than just lying under a blanket, Alma loves to be completely wrapped up in your sheets, almost like a cocoon. The night doesn't start out that way, but when you wake up together you are almost always tangled and covered up, unable to see your room til you find your way out of the nest of blankets youve been stuffed into.

#sfw alphabet #alma lefay peregrine x reader #alma lefay peregrine #miss peregrine x reader #character alphabet #comfort character #headcanon

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robotgirlservos · 11 months

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Name: Adennezene Fausfate III

Username: ChemicalHusk

Classpect: Maid of Void

Blood Color: Magenta???

Weapon type: Polearmkind

more details and story below!

Your name is ADENNEZENE FAUSFATE III and you have been stuck in this stupid EMPTY CITY your whole life. For you this is just normal, but anyone else would likely find it odd how the ELECTRICITY and WATER is still running, but there’s nothing except PERMANENT FIXTURES in each building, and no other people or animals or plants, aside from stupid grass.

Oh yeah, and it’s also ETERNALLY NIGHT, which would be very concerning if you had ever experienced daytime, but for you it’s just EXTREMELY COLD.

Your “days” are full of TRYING NOT TO STARVE when there’s no food to be found, TRYING NOT TO FREEZE when there’s no clothes or blankets besides what you have always been wearing, and TRYING NOT TO GIVE UP when everything is only getting harder. Basically, you would say that your favorite thing to do is TRYING NOT TO DIE, since that’s all you ever do.

To succeed in your favorite activity, you have had to develop some useful skills, one of them being SYNTHESIS of various resources, each with a certain amount of usefulness. The NUTRIENT PASTE you’ve survived on for your whole life comes to mind as the most useful, while on the other end of the spectrum is practically everything else you've managed to synthesize.

Though it seems something swept through this city long before your time and took everything that wasn’t NAILED DOWN, as they say, you’ve become quite adept at UN-NAILING THINGS DOWN, as they also definitely say. Being able to UN-NAIL THINGS DOWN has been essential to your survival, as no PRE-UN-NAILED-DOWN THINGS exist. You can even take UN-NAILING THINGS DOWN to an extreme degree, UN-NAILING things from the rest of themselves, breaking them into their base elements, or as they are better known: SMITHEREENS.

Smithereens have names too, and it would be rude to not acknowledge whenever the SMITHEREENS’ INITIALS came up in conversation. Like this:

“Th₁e qU₁I₂C₁K₁ Br₂O₂W₁N₂ F₂O₂x jU₁mP₁S₁ O₂vEr₁ Th₁e lazY₁ dOg₁. Se₁e? I₂Ts₁ No₁t Th₁at H₂Ar₁d.”

Some SMITHEREENS pair with themselves when isolated. They’re probably just lonely.

You know the feeling.

Your inventory can only hold one item of each type of SMITHEREEN. Whichever SMITHEREEN is most prevalent in an item determines the item’s overall SMITHEREEN type.

Certain things about Adennezene do not add up and throughout the session, they begin to build up and become more and more obvious.

She appears to be fuschia blooded but has no fins

She has no dream self

She has been in the game since before it began

She never runs out of stock for her trades

She has several static phrases for responding to certain sentences

She appears “simplified” when observed from far away

She fights like a bad videogame CPU

Eventually it all gets pieced together, but at this point Adennezene has become a close friend to everyone. You all showed her the joys of life she missed from struggling just to survive for who knows how long. She ate a sad, squished, day-old burger and cried because it was the best thing she’d ever tasted. You let her hold your scalemate and she was starstruck even before she learned it squeaked. So the group procrastinates. She deserves to know the truth about herself, but how do you tell her?

How do you tell someone that they’re an unfinished NPC?

And what happens when they learn the truth?

#homestuck #fantroll #robo beeps #I need a proper art tag #blood #but only a little #not sure what else to tag this with let me know if there's something I should add #oc: adennezene #homestuck oc #homestuck fantroll #fan troll

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comecloserwouldyou · 1 year

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The End of the “Human Exchange program” Pt.1

🔜Part 1.5

(‼️keep in mind this is only an au‼️)

(‼️‼️Everybody × reader (angst) ‼️‼️) Everybody knew this would happen. Everybody knew the end of this human exchange program is was near. Of course it was near. It was inevitable after all. But what the didn’t know was it would end this fast. The end of the “Human exchange program” was here and now it was time for the human exchange to go back. Here are some background (inner) thoughts and feelings.

Lucifer:

It feels like a dream. The poor guy can’t get a break. He feels like it’s his duty to….subtly…..hold everybody together. Top all of that off with the fact he’s overworking himself to keep his mind off of you. Bad situation. His sleep schedule has once more declined, to a point that it’s even worse than it was before you left. He constantly sees, hears and related everything to you. He has always been hyper vigilant of everything and everybody in the house. It made him feel like he could be in control and protect everybody, and you were no exception to the rules (well you almost always were but he digresses). “MC…no…come back. I’m so sorry for everything. Please come back. You’re the only one I can love and trust. My pride is nothing when you’re around. You are my walking pride, my love. Please come back…come home.”

Mammon:

He’s absolutely stopped in his tracks. He can’t even comprehend that you’re gone, and when he finally does it’s not pretty. Lots and lots of tears. The house is going to be barren for Kleenexes for a while. He goes out almost everyday and gambles away what little does he have, but he doesn’t care. It’s something to do outside the torture of the House of Lamentation. He also has a habit of getting himself drunk, and subsequently getting himself yelled at by lucifer. His only comeback was the he couldn’t handle the loss, and surprisingly lucifer put a blanket around his shoulder and gently told him to go and sober up. “Nonononononono! Stay! There’s no need for you to go home! Isn’t this your home too? Don’tcha wanna stay? We had so much fun! We can continue to have fun! Just…p-please… don’t a-abandon me like everyone e-else.”

Leviathan:

Levi’s first reaction is to lock himself up in his room and go into full denial. Eventually, he lets the cold exterior melt off and his true colours become fully transparent. Much like his brothers, he submerges himself in his activities: video games, comic cons updates and other otaku related things. He doesn’t leave his room for days on end, and when he does it’s only for food and water. He’s jealous of every human who even gets to see your beautiful face in the human realm, but his biggest regret is never going out and doing anything with you. Even his precious Ruri-chan can’t do anything to ease his heartache. “I-I don’t care. Y-you’re just a n-normie. It d-doesn’t m-matter. I have p-plenty of friends o-online. I-I don’t n-need y-you. I- I….need you. Please! Please! C-come h-home! I-I still don’t k-know so m-much about you. I-I should have been l-less selfish. I should have t-tried to g-get to know y-you b-better.”

Satan:

(Goes into bedroom and throws a major tantrum.) Basically, this guy lost his anger translator and when that happens…bad things happen. Once more lucifer finds him on the receiving end of pranks, but not normal pranks. His pranks become harsher, his anger showing through them. He has also raided the bookstore more times than beel raided the fridge last year. Which is definitely an impressive feat in and of itself. You’ll find that his precious book pages are covered in tear drop stains. You taught him to love, to be truly calm and so much more. Please, bring back the anger translator for everybody’s sakes. “Come back please? You’re the eye of the hurricane. The calm. Please…come back. Please? We can do anything you want. Anything! I’ll never deny you another walk. We can go whenever you want! Just please, come back.” Asmodeus:

Sad. Break. Up. Songs. So what if the boy didn’t break up with her, same general gist. Girl leaves boy, boy can’t see girl and ta-da it feels like a break-up has occurred. The boy doesn’t party. He doesn’t do his skin routine (which absolutely no one can tell), and acts like an insomniac (fully evident in his overly sassy behaviour). Basically, not like the Asmodeus everybody knows. He wishes you could come back so he would have his spa, manicure and pedicure buddy back. “Mc you made me feel beautiful, inside and out. Come back. I promise, I’ll always tell you how beautiful you are. You are the most gorgeous being alive, even more than myself. Please…come back…. I’ll treat you like a princess. I p-promise.”

Beelzebub:

Poor baby boy isn’t hungry. He doesn’t eat, except when forced. His work out routine has sky rocketed from an hour and a half to over three hours. If he’s not working out then he’s either crying, laying with Belphie to feel some semblance of peace, or at sports practice. Most of all, he misses your sweetness. You always could work out any situation, and even better you kept the peace and happiness of the house alive. “Please Mc, come home. Come back to your family. We…I need you. We can hang out just like the good old days. Get food, snuggle with Belphie, fall asleep watching movies and more. Whatever you want, just name it. Just…come home to us, to me.”

Belphegor:

He honestly wonders if he kills everybody that you know up there if you’ll come back to them. Just a thought. (Might want to text beel a thank you for saving your family’s lives.) He is very annoyed and confrontational about everything and everybody, except beel. He wants to sleep to escape, but then he dreams about you. Then he wants to stay awake, but he’s just so tired and things, places and certain things remind him of you. Basically, he’s losing his precious sleep because of you, but he isn’t annoyed at you. He’s just lonesome for you. “Mmmm…..Oh, it was just a dream. Mc isn’t really here. Please come back. You would scold me for being so harsh, heh. Please come back…..starlight.”

(‼️ there is a part 1.5 for dateables‼️)

(Yes, this shits gonna be a series 🤡)

Kay, bye! ( took me a week to do this nah- 🤨📸⁉️)

#Obey me #Obey me lucifer #Obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #Obey me Satan #Obey me Asmo #obey me beel #obey me belphie #obey me mc #obey me angst #obey me also actually hurts my hand #Took me a week #lmfao #this so cringe #Why am I doing this #so many tags

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sunshinesdaydream · 5 months

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Jade SFW ABC

Below the cut for space!

A -Affection (how affectionate are they? how do they show affection)

Very affectionate. Loves sharing space, whether doing something with others or reading in the same room as them. Cuddles are a bonus!

• B -Best friend (how would they be as a best friend? how would the relationship start?)

Probably would start with a conversation over some bit of knowledge. Something she notices about them and asks about.

As a best friend she is both devoted and caring. She has very “Mom friend” and “Sister friend” vibes.

• C -Cuddles (Do they like cuddles? how do they cuddle)

She loves cuddles and will never turn them down. Sometimes will seek them out. Her “cuddle style” is dependent on the person she cuddles preferences. Especially likes to cuddle for sleep and holofilms.

• D -Domestic (do they want to settle down? how are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Though Jade has always known the Jedi a order is only a step in her journey through life and never thought of it being her “always” she hasn’t much considered past the war. Given the chance she would settle down. She’s a little chaotic in her cooking but it always turns out good.

As a Jedi and during the war she didn’t really have much in the way of possessions. But given the chance to settle down she probably would keep several house plants and some Knick knacks, “happy clutter” she would call it. Things that make her smile, things given to her by friends.

• E -Ending (if they had to break up, how would they do it?)

In person and whatever the reason it would be very tearful. Anything from sad to angry tears.

• F -Fiancee (how do they feel about commitment? how quick do they want to get married?)

Not afraid of commitment, also would be fairly quick to agree to get married. However she wouldn’t instigate that conversation herself for a very long time.

• G -Gentle (how gentle are they? physically, emotionally)

Very gentle in general, but not afraid to use “tough love” when it calls for it. Even if it hurts her.

• H -Hugs (how often do they hug? do they like hugs? what are their hugs like?)

Jade will hug anyone willing. Her hugs are warm and soft like being wrapped in a blanket fresh from the drier.

• I -I love you (how fast do they say it)

Jade tells all those close to her “I love you” and fairly frequently. She feels it’s important for people to feel wanted and loved. If you become her friend you will hear it. And as far as someone she’s attracted to, they probably get told fairly quickly. She isn’t going to be interested in anyone she wouldn’t be quick friends with anyways.

• J -Jealousy (how jelly do they get? what do they do when they are?)

Doesn’t get jealous so much as sad or disappointed. But has to have actual reason to. Partner cheating? There isn’t anger, but sadness at the loss and she won’t stick around.

• K -Kisses (what are their kisses like? where do they like to kiss? where do they liked to be kissed?)

With partners, she likes to bury her face in their neck when she hugs them and leave kisses there. This is beyond the fact she lives for kisses on the lips. Chaste or not.

Her kisses are sweet, warm, and soft like caramel.

• L -Little Ones (how are they around children)

Pretty good around littles. Has taken her turn in helping in the crèche. Frequently did story time with younglings.

• M -Mornings (how are mornings with them?)

Slow to wake, but not grumpy. Just very slow and sleepy. Likes lazy mornings. You can win her heart with breakfast in bed even if it is just cereal. A person could be sure she is absolutely in love with them if gets up to make them breakfast in bed.

• N -Night (how is the night spent with them?)

With her it would be snuggling unless she (or her partner) instigated some spicy times. She’s highly likely to do so.

Otherwise snuggling and talking. Reading in bed (she’ll read everywhere pry her data pad from her cold dead hands). Watching holos.

• O -Open (when do they start revealing about themselves? do they say it all at once or reveal slowly?)

Seems to be very open, but keeps plenty to herself. Doesn’t say anything about any of it unless directly asked. Then most times she will tell friends anything.

• P -Patience (how quick to anger are they)

Jade is incredibly patient. Like “saint” level.

• Q -Quizzes (how much do they remember about you? do they remember every detail or forget everything?)

Jade’s talent is knowledge. If she is in a relationship she remembers everything. Also if you are her bestie.

• R -Remember (favourite moment in the relationship)

The first time they smile out of true happiness to see her.

• S -Security (how protective are they? how would they like to protect you? how would they like to be protected?)

Mom friend = Mama Bear

• T -Try (how much effort is put into dates/ anniversary/ gifts/ everyday?)

Puts a reasonable amount of effort into all. Doesn’t get upset if plans get changed, especially during the war.

• U -Ugly (bad habit of theirs)

Can get caught up in too much study/reading and ignore the rest of life if let go. Needs people around her to pull her into other activities. It helps to point out to her that doing things is a learning experience too.

Also struggles with negative self image from time to time.

• V -Vanity (how concerned are they with their looks?)

Not terribly vain, but very much thinks she is pretty. However has plenty of gremlin thoughts about it too. Mostly concerning her size and the fact that her boobs aren’t “perky” (someone tell this poor child that gravity works on large breasts!!)

• W Whole (would they feel incomplete without their partner?)

Much like Ella (another OC) she believes that once a person dies they become part of the living force so they are never truely gone. She would surely mourn, but would be able to let go. L

• X -Xtra (extra head canon)

Has been teaching her squad how to fight with a lightsaber and has had them make their own. She has also been teaching them to access the force through their individual talents and passions, enough to help them be even more capable. Not moving anything with their mind, but having better instincts and things like that.

• Y -Yuck (what are some things they wouldnt like in general or in partner)

Bad personal hygiene, it’s one thing if you are gross because you have been in battle and not had the chance to wash. It’s different if you willfully ignore it and don’t make any attempt at all. (This is not including depression episodes and so forth. That is very different.)

• Z -Zzz (sleep habits)

Baby girl cuddles up to sleep and passes right out. Will also fall asleep reading. Usually sleeps on her side or stomach.

#sunshine writes #sunshine’s OCs #jedi oc #Jedi oc: Jade #star wars #the clone wars #star wars the clone wars #TCW OCs Mask Squad

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grungelovingrat · 2 years

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Random Yuurivoice Powerpuff Boys HCS

Was in a silly goofy mood (i was bored as shit-) so I came up with some headcanons for Yuuri's powerpuff boys <3

Alphonse:

He constantly rants on and on about how terrible black licorice is but behind closed doors he is om-nomming that shit UP same

He's Bi gender (real)

With that being said he actually wears the top from the boy toy stuff and a skirt quite often (slay king)

He's always wanted some sort of pet (mostly a cat) but the poor boy already has a bit of problems so he's just waiting at this point.

He actually needs glasses, like, needs them.

He is horribly near sighted but he's really stubborn so it took him up to his dilf years to actually wear some damn glasses-

He's a good cook, he's trash at baking and some breakfast but he has mastered other foods

But he still only makes kraft mac-n-cheese-

He has a HUGE squishmellow collection

A lot of them are set near his bed but he puts all his favorites on the bed (but don't tell them that ofc-)

This man 100% has everything you'd ever need for an at-home spa day just on hand all the time.

Like- he has a closet just dedicated to it <3

He played volleyball in middle school thru high-school that's why his ass is so thicc

At first he only played it because his parents wanted him to do a sport for at least a year and volleyball looked the easiest to him

Then he played again

And again

All the way up until he graduated hs

He's really good at it too

His attacks in vb are probably enough to turn someone into a donut- Rengoku?

Seth:

Lemme just say he made fun of Al for playing volleyball just bc-

(He still went to every game)

He was a theater kid you cannot convince me otherwise

He got all the lead roles once he got good

Every single time-

Y'know those little rubber band bracelets you can make? Yeah well he made matching ones for both him and Al when they where kids and he still wears it (Al does too btw)

And if he where to get all the shit he needed he'd make one for you too <3

GOLDEN. RETRIEVER.

I swear he is the definition of a Golden Retriever Boyfriend-

He will do absolutely anything for you babes

Oh, you're feeling too sad and tired to do anything today? Suddenly he slipped and he cleaned the entire house, did all the shopping, AND made you your favorite meal 🤷

Also, c u d d l e s

As I've stated before Seth is little spoon..

But he's also really warm somehow

Like no matter how cold it is outside he's still like a fucking heating pad-

So there's really no need for a blanket w/ him

You can tell when his emotions are heightened bc his accent will begin to slip

(I'm pretty sure that's happened in a lot of the actual videos-)

He's an amazing singer i will not argue with anyone on this-

Finn:

FLUTE HE PLAYS THE FLUTE-

EITHER THE FLUTE OR A CLARINET I'M NOT ARGUING ABT IT-

He really likes playing his instrument, when he's not at his flower shop or in his garden he's playing it

HELP BC ALL I CAN IMAGINE IS THIS MAJESTIC MF JUST SLAYING AWAY ON THE FLUTE AND I DIDNJ JUST- AAA-

He actually doesn't have a favorite flower, if you where to ask him he'd say a new one every time because he likes them all!

Though he thinks Red Spider Lillies are really beautiful to look at

They're not his favorite favorite but still

He has a bunny named 'Marguerite' or 'Maggie'

(This is what she looks like):

He always gets so worried when he has late nights at the shop bc like- what if his baby ran out of food or smth?

He has his attic all cleaned out so he can go up there to read or sketch in the sun/moonlight

Anyways that's all I have!

If you have any story ideas make sure you

A: Check out my pinned post and my acc intro if you haven't already

and B: Leave it in my ask box!!

Love ya <33

#grunge #indie #fanfic writer #fanfiction writer #yuurivoice #seth #alphonse #headcanon #yuurivoice seth #yuurivoice alphonse #yuurivoice finn #finn #live laugh loving like a girlboss

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moonyasnow · 2 days

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TWST OC Showcase: Irina Barret

Vice Housewarden of Ramshackle; the Dorm based on the Lonely Ghosts' Spirit of Adaptability

(Housewarden: Tomoe Sakurada)

Human Right-handed Wales - Ramshackle Dorm 152cm / 4'11 - #ae6bcf / 174, 107, 207 June 1st - Gemini - 16 y.o. 1st year - Freshman - Class D, no. 3 Gargoyle Appreciation Club Best Subject: Potionology Hobbies: Sculpting Pet peeves: The sounds of glass and porcelain Favorite food: Warm bread Least favorite food: Cold leftovers Talent: Empathetic Perception Floyd-given name: Shrimpy Rook-given name: Demoiselle Lapine Cater-given name: Rini

Some quotes:

"U-um…please give me work! I-I can cook, clean, do laundry, a-and I can be very quiet about it, too! You'll barely even realize I'm here." — "I don't want to be a burden on you. Right now, I imagine I am probably using up resources, and I'm not even offering anything in return…"

"Um...I-I'm sorry!"

She's crouching down on her knees in her bed, crying, muffling her sobs by biting her hands. She wants to scream. [internal narration] *He hates me, he hates me, he hates me, he hates me, he hates me, he hates me! It's all my fault!* "H-he won't even look at me…!" She sobs. *Of course not. Who would want to spend time with someone they think doesn't trust them? A-and I can't even clear up the misunderstanding…! I'm horrible, worthless, a burden, useless…so many people's lives would be better if I was never born!*

! W A R N I N G ! Her backstory is H E A V Y. I mean it when I say this is the darkest backstory out of any of my OCs.

Includes themes of: child endangerment, physical & emotional child neglect, verbal & emotional child abuse, suicide(someone else), mental illness, C-PTSD and SH(biting, self-neglect, chasing things/people that are bad for her)

Only read further if you feel that's something you can handle today. Take care of yourself <3

Irina's mother was from a quite well-off family in Bulgaria, and her father was from a bad part of London. On a vacation to London, the two of them had a fling that resulted in an unplanned pregnancy. And Irina's mother's family, having quite traditional values, said she had to marry the father. So she did, and moved to live with him in his apartment in London. But they both quickly realized they were a horrible match.

Her parents hated each other and always fought. Her mother always said that if she'd just never been born, her life would be perfect because she wouldn't be stuck living in what she with her good upbringing considered squalor with Irina's father, who spent all their money on alcohol and drugs, and said it was all Irina's fault. And her father didn't like seeing her at all because he was reminded of her mother who— in his mind— always nagged at him for stupid, useless reasons and seemed to make it her life mission to torment him at home when he'd never done anything to deserve that. Two incredibly proud, selfish people who would drag a child into their conflict. Her father would get mad and yell whenever she— or mostly her mother, since Irina quickly learned to be quiet and never talk back— bothered him in any way. When her mother confronted him about spending so much of that month's money out drinking, their screaming matches often got violent. Her father would hit her mother, or flip over furniture— most often he'd throw plates and glasses and bottles, either at the wall or her mother. Then her mother would yell at him until he left the apartment, after which she start to cry, yelling at Irina if she saw her. As a result Irina can't handle it when she hears the sounds of breaking glass or porcelain; it makes her panic so much she just dissociates. And even the sounds of them, not broken, clinking against things makes her incredibly on edge. Though most often, Irina would hide in her room, sitting on her 'bed' that was just a mattress on the floor, hiding herself under her blanket. She always felt the safest under her blanket. But when not actively upset, her mother would exert whatever control she felt she could over Irina, even in entirely pointless ways, just to not feel as powerless as she did living with her husband; refusing to ever be told 'no' and guilt-tripping and forcing Irina to do/not do whatever her mother wanted or didn't want her to. Her parents often forgot to feed her, too. Since she'd already been conditioned to never ask for anything, she started smuggling small scraps of food into her room, which she hid in a little box in her closet. But she still stopped growing at 152cm and remained very petite for the rest of her life, due in part to the childhood malnutrition. But they weren't always cruel to her. Sometimes, very rarely, one of them would be in a good mood; usually because the other was away. On these rare occasions her father would sometimes let her sit next to him on the couch, and would show her what he thought were the best parts of the game shows he loved to watch were. And if she seemed interested enough in whatever story he was telling, he'd even smile at her, and compliment her, and ruffle her hair. And when her mother was in a good mood, she'd smile at Irina and tell her she did a good job helping with the chores. She would sometimes even ask Irina what she wanted to have for dinner that day. Irina always made sure to pick something she knew her mother liked, to make her even more happy, so she'd smile at Irina even more. Those small moments made her absolutely overjoyed, and made her want to make them smile like that again. It was the only taste of 'affection' she had for the first five years of her life. And it planted the idea in her head that, if only it was just her and one of her parents, they could actually be a happy family.

When she'd see children with their parents, she became jealous, since her parents never held her hand, hugged her, sang her to sleep or gave her any sort of comfort. When she'd tried to hug them, they brushed her off and walked away. She tried to be away from home as much as she could, since she hated always hearing her parents scream at each other. When she played pretend with other kids in the neighborhood, she could ignore the reality of her situation and just be happy for a while. When they all wanted to go home because it had gotten too late, she felt lonely and scared again, because she wouldn't have anything to distract her from thinking about home. She had no other adult she could confide in, and she felt scared of her parents. They had never physically harmed her, but she was scared that they might someday. But even worse than being home when both of them were there was when only she and one of her parents were home. Then, they'd scream at her, and she was always scared they would hit her. Now that she's grown up, sometimes when it's quiet, she thinks she can still hear the distant, muffled sounds of her parents fighting with each other. And whenever anything bad happens in her life, she hears her mother's voice whispering to her saying 'your fault'.

She had one close friend from when she was 5 to 8— he was two years older than her, had brown hair and green eyes, and he was the best thing in her life. He found her crying under a tree one day after her parents had an argument. He told her his name and asked why she was crying, and when she didn't answer, just looking up at him, through her tears, hugging her knees, he just sat down next to her to begin reading something. She eventually asked what it was, and he read aloud to her. They became best friends. He would bring sweets for them to eat together, he would read to her, and whenever she was scared or sad or crying he'd wipe away her tears and ruffle her hair, placing a small kiss on the top of her head and tell the tears to go away. He taught her how to read, too! He was the only good thing in her life, her only experience with what love and comfort should feel like. When she was with him, she could forget about her parents and how miserable she otherwise felt. She could wake up each day looking forward to seeing him. She was in love with him, and dreamed of the two of them being together forever. She was so happy she could cry every time she saw him. And some of her absolute best memories were of when it had been snowing and all the kids in the neighborhood would come out to play together, where he and Irina would often join in. Or sometimes they'd just make snowmen, or snow-angels. Snowy weather has always been her favorite. Not only did her happiest memories always happen when it was snowing or had recently snowed, she thought everything being covered in snow was comforting. To her, it looked like a big, fluffy, heavy blanket, muffling the world and making it quiet, hiding her from every bad thing. She liked making snowmen the most. And she eventually started making them in more interesting shapes, most often rabbits. She'd always loved rabbits. They were the only animal she didn't feel afraid of. She often used to fantasize about owning a lot of rabbits when she grew up. Her friend once gave her a little pink plush bunny for her birthday; he said he saw it in a shop window, and it reminded him of her. She named it 'Clover' after the flower crowns he'd make for her, as well as the color of his eyes. When she cried about how much she hated the sounds of when her parents would throw glasses and plates and bowls into the ground and break them and that she'd only have wooden cups and bowls when she grew up, he said he'd also have wooden cups and bowls, so she could visit him. She felt so happy, and so treasured, and loved… But then one day he just stopped showing up. She waited, but he never came back to play with her again. She cried and cried, scared that she would never see him again, wishing so badly that he would come back, wondering why he left her behind. Only then, after losing him, did she realize he was all that had been filling up her heart until that point. She developed abandonment issues, and began to feel what loneliness was for the first time. Before she met him, she was always, always alone. He took away her loneliness…but she didn't realize the absence of it until it returned. …Eventually, knowing he was gone and probably not coming back, the memory of him in her heart hurt her so much that she just…forgot. Her mind repressed all memory of him, to keep her from hurting. So she thought she'd always been alone. Anytime she remembered him, she thought he was just an imaginary friend she dreamt about as a child, to save her from her loneliness. And eventually she forgot about him altogether. But the impression he'd had on her never faded. The color green would forever feel 'safe' to her.

Then on June 3d, two days after her 9th birthday, after a particularly bad argument, her father— like he usually did— left the house. Her mother asked her to go pick flowers to put in a vase on the table for when her father eventually came back. When Irina came back in she found her mother's corpse hanging from the ceiling. Her skin was blue. Irina could almost hear her say 'your fault', which her mother oh-so-loved to say to her. She believed it. She hid in her room for 4 days until her father finally came back. When she heard him come back she ran to him and hugged him. When he saw her mother, for the first time, he hugged her back. She was convinced this meant the two of them would start over fresh somewhere, since the only reason he was so unhappy was because he was stuck with her mother. He packed a bag and started walking, and let her follow after him, holding onto the edge of his big sleeve. But then, at the edge of the town where they lived, he told her to wait there. She did. She never saw him again. A week later, on June 13th, she was found dehydrated and half-starved, holding onto her bunny plush Clover, and taken to live at an orphanage. Funnily enough, she didn't remember where she got Clover. She thought her parents probably got it for her at some point. Knowing that not even her parents— the only people who were ever supposed to love her unconditionally— didn't want her, even when there was only her father left and her mother, whom he hated, was no longer in the picture… It broke her. After this point she truly started to believe she was inherently worthless, and that no one could ever love her. While she lived at that orphanage, she started trying to play with kids who lived nearby more than she had before, and she did make friends, always with one kid at a time. And she was so happy to have a friend— someone who could make her feel loved and make her forget things at home— that she always became obsessed and overly attached and incredibly clingy, getting jealous every time they even talked to a kid that wasn't her and scared they would stop being her friend because they found someone better. She never really managed to make any long-term friends because of this. That clinginess lead to them always leaving her behind, perpetuating the cycle. She only got better at hiding her emotions. As well as people pleasing— to a chronic extent. Every time someone left her, she became even more convinced of the fact that she was unlovable and thus became even more scared she'd be abandoned. Every time, she lost a little more trust for people until she just couldn't open up to anyone at ALL. She was convinced keeping it all hidden is what she needed to do to keep people with her— not bother them with her issues. But she has barely any memories from this time of her life. Only a handful of them The only thing she remembered fully clearly about this part of her life is that Clover, her bunny plush, was always there. Funnily enough, she didn't remember where she got Clover. She thought her parents probably got it for her at some point. She brought it with her everywhere, and it had suffered through all the same things as her. She still has it to this day, and since it's quite small, she brings it with her everywhere. It was the closest thing she can remember having to an anchor as a child, so despite being at an age where she thinks she should have 'outgrown' stuffed animals, she can't bring herself to let go of it.

When she was 13, she ended up being adopted by her uncle— her mother's brother— whom she had never heard of before. He'd recently moved to Wales for his work, and that's how the system found him. He was the first adult who was ever kind to her. He asked how she was doing, set aside time to play with and read her to bed, brought her with him to see fireworks, to run errands, or just go on walks. And she was surprised when— shortly after adopting her— he took her out to buy new clothes, and also said she could pick out one more thing from whatever store she wanted. She wasn't at all used to receiving things, and didn't feel like she deserved it. But he often had to leave for a few days at a time due to his job requiring him to be away from home often. Every time this happened, paranoia set in that he was going to abandon her just like her father did. Each night he was gone she would cry herself to sleep, begging for him to come back. She spent moment of his absence doing almost nothing except waiting for him to come back. And her luck socializing with her peers didn't really improve much... Ever since she was around 8 years old, she had started developing in a way that was very strange compared to her peers. As a child she had very strong reactions to things, she wore her emotions on her sleeve at all times, and these emotions seemed to be much stronger than those of other people around her. But those explosive feelings never matured with her as she got older, and she kept having almost child-like outbursts of emotion even well into her teens. The tiniest thing— like forgetting to bring something that she was asked to bring, not knowing the location of her stuffed rabbit Snowie for even a few minutes, or being lightly insulted in a friendly way could make her start sobbing uncontrollably and have a massive breakdown. Though often, just 10 minutes later, she'd have stopped crying and felt entirely fine again. So when she was herself, her wild mood swings seemed to just be too much for everyone. And her experience with her original parents had made her extremely unassertive and scared of angering people, to the point of her developing social anxiety and rejection sensitivity. She absolutely hates people being upset at her, and if she thinks she's done something wrong, she thinks people will dislike her. Since she herself was never enough for anyone as a child, she doesn't think she ever will be. And the new 'friends' she did manage to make were...not the best for her. Somehow the people she seemed to attract were always ones who didn't care about her, who'd use her, take advantage of her desperation for love, affection and validation and drip-feed it to her after she did things for them, before dropping her once they didn't think she was amusing or helpful anymore. When they did still like her, think she was fun and wanted to spend time with her, she felt absolutely high on the joy. But the moment they avoided or ignored her, even for just a moment, it felt like the world was caving in on itself. But they told her she was just being clingy, which once again got her to hide her feelings so as not to displease them. Gradually chipping away at more and more of her, until there was nothing left. Until she was just a shapeless lump of clay for them to mold however they liked. But she'd endure it. That was what love was, right? It was supposed to hurt, and she was supposed to cover that hurt up so they'd stay with her. To endure was to love. Because enduring showed a commitment, that she would still stay with them. That was all she wanted, after all. She knew most of her friends wanted more from her than just her loyalty, though, so she'd do anything they asked her to. Even when it hurt. But they all left her in the end no matter how hard she tried.

And every single time another one of her friends left her, her abandonment issues just became even worse. She thought it was all her fault, and that if she'd just tried harder, had fewer boundaries, been better, they wouldn't have left. She thought she was the problem. Eventually, she'd become convinced that everyone is going to leave her in the end, and stopped being able to trust anyone, alternating between 'I don't want them to get close enough to hurt me' and 'they're going to leave anyway so I'm going to try to be close to them while I can', sometimes even experiencing both at the same time. As a result, when someone actually nice, who had good intentions and respected her, did actually approach her with the intention of genuinely becoming her friend, she ended up just panicking. That wasn't how friendships went for her, after all. She was always the one giving 90%! So she was so confused when anyone was nice to her for no apparent reason. And so she ended up usually just avoiding and ignoring them until they stopped trying to get close to her. But it made her so sad every time because it felt like being abandoned and given up on all over again. But she just didn't know how to deal with the paralyzing fear and paranoia them being genuinely good to her caused her. Afterwards she would always cry and bite her hands and lip and arms so much that she'd fall asleep from exhaustion with her arms and mouth covered in her own blood. Then in the morning, all she'd need to do was wash the blood off and no one would be able to tell that she'd hurt herself. Eventually, she learned to bottle up the biggest of those feelings until she was alone, upon which she'd have another breakdown. As a result, the people who know her now don't know the true extent of her mood-swings, since she's become such a people-pleaser in a desperate attempt for people to stop leaving her that she no longer lets herself become upset in front of others. But it feels empty, since no one ever knows the real her. Always bottling her feelings up makes her feel like she's just one tick away from exploding at all times. But since bottling her emotions up like that has begun to feel like yet another matter of survival, she never lets them boil over.

Some miscellaneous info about her:

Irina is very physically independent while also being quite emotionally dependent. Meaning: She can take care of her physical needs (cooking, cleaning, buying food, washing her clothes, etc) by herself, but she relies heavily on others emotionally. She realizes she has no idea who she is as a person, what her personality is, what she likes, etc. She can never remember her past emotions nor truly comprehend thoughts of the future. The current moment, to her, becomes 'eternal'. Her mood-swings and splitting episodes don't make this any better or easier. She also takes VERY bad care of herself both mentally and physically. She was just never really taught how. When her uncle was away she mostly just ate bread, cereal or instant noodles, just because she only puts in effort for other people.

She's gotten really good both at noticing every subtle, tiny little change in someone— in addition to already having a great sense of natural intuition, or 'gut feeling', about people— and at figuring out exactly what people wanted to hear, and saying it to them to avoid conflict. Though as a result, she doesn't really know how to open up to others. She's still so stuck in 'anyone can become angry at you therefore trust no one and never let your guard down' mode. And partly due to that paranoia, she never told her uncle what her life had been like before he adopted her, him only knowing that both her parents were out of the picture for some reason or another. Actually, no one but Irina knows that. She never told anyone. Not about any of it, always being very careful in how she worded herself when asked about her past, or life, or herself in general.

Because of the way her mother died, she has a crippling fear of being unable to breathe/suffocating.

She really hates Summer. The sounds of cicadas, the bright, merciless sun, the strong smells and the loud noises of people and nature, the heat— all of it reminds her of the summer she turned 9. Seeing her mother's corpse, being forced to wait hungry and thirsty in her room for four days of 'going to the bathroom' in the corner of her room because she was too scared to open her bedroom door, since it'd mean seeing her mother again. Then being abandoned by her father when he finally came back, sitting in the scorching sun for a week waiting for him, almost dying of dehydration. Near the end of May, she always starts to feel intense anxiety, the kind where you feel like you can't breathe. And she hates her birthday, hates having it acknowledged in any way.

And around this time start the nightmares. Nightmares where she sees her mother, hanging from the ceiling, telling her in a hoarse, breathless voice that it was her fault. That she is so worthless that she didn't make her mother's life worth it, that she was so much of a horrible burden her mother would want to die just to get away from her. Her father strangles Irina with a rope that smells like vomit, and it burns her neck and it hurts so much and she cries and cries and cries and apologizes. Sometimes the person strangling her is a friend, or someone she loves. Or they're standing off to the side, watching her be strangled, doing nothing, looking at her with apathy and annoyance in their expression and walking away even as she reaches for them, begging them to turn around. She always wakes up the second before she dies, hyperventilating and shaking and crying and almost wailing. She claws at her throat and still feels like she can't breathe at first. Often until she bites herself. The pain reminds her she can breathe. Then she takes in giant gulps of breath, like someone who's been underwater for decades. She holds herself as tight as she can, leans over until her forehead is against her mattress and cries until she falls asleep again, exhausted.

It continues like that almost every night until around the start of August. On some nights, if she's lucky, it'll be raining. The nightmares don't come when it rains. This is why she hates summer vacation. Not only will she have to deal with that almost every night, the lack of a routine makes it even worse, and she doesn't even have the luxury of looking forward to be able to talk to someone the next day. Sleeping aids like medication don't work— it just gives her sleep paralysis.

Often, this just translates into her staying up late at night with insomnia, or because she's too afraid of the nightmares to want to even try to fall asleep. She does this quite often even when it's not Summer, as well.

At NRC:

For her and Tomoe, I'll be doing breakdowns of what they did during and in-between the books. Includes spoilers for: Books 1-5 (tiny bit Book 6 and Book 7 too but barely)

Prologue

Unlike Tomoe, who was woken up early by Grim, Irina was woken up at the same time as the other freshman, and went through the ceremony like normal, until it came to her turn, and a wave of confusion swept through the hall when it was found out she was magicless. But it was forgotten as Tomoe soon arrived, following the Headmage. They both ended up in Ramshackle. As Tomoe was older she became Housewarden, and Irina the Vice Housewarden, as Tomoe did not feel safe giving the position to Grim.

As she was cleaning somewhere else at the time, she also wasn't there when Tomoe, Grim and Ace burnt the Queen of Hearts statue, nor for the ensuing detention where the chandelier broke. But Irina used her bunny eyes(basically puppy dog eyes) to convince Crowley to let them try to get the magestone instead of being expelled right away. She wasn't even fully intending to— she really just wanted to ask Crowley about it, and then, feeling bad for Tomoe for being in the same situation as her— homeless, basically, with no way home— she kinda just…accidentally convinced him by saying she was worried for Tomoe, Crowley realizing 'oh shit what if people found out I kicked her out—imagine the lawsuits'. And Irina being genuinely worried enough that it showed on her face was, in part due to being worried for Tomoe herself yes, but mostly she just didn't want to be alone in that big house with just the ghosts. And, somewhere in the back of her mind, she kept thinking that, if Tomoe did actually manage to stay, she would be happy with Irina and like her more. And Irina's people-pleasing is chronic.

Whether or not Irina actually intends her bunny eyes even 50% of the time is up for debate. She's also unconsciously gotten used to always looking like a kicked puppy due to the fact that people underestimating and pitying her has really helped her in life. Not to mention the fact that she's not very good at hiding it when she's feeling something, so her anxiety often shows on her face.

Irina ended up being in the same class as Sebek, and given her experience with people yelling, she did not like the experience one bit, always hoping she'd get a seat as far away from him as possible.

Book 1

During the events of Book 1 she mostly just followed Tomoe around, not speaking much unless she herself was directly adressed. She almost started crying when Riddle yelled at her to wear her tie correctly, which soured her entire perception of him for the rest of the school year, making her scared of him. Though she also ended up somewhat latching onto Trey as one of the few people she felt a little bit less on edge around than others, the only other at that point being Tomoe.

Though in general, she was mostly left to her own devices, since Tomoe, as the Housewarden, is the one Crowley most often calls on to do tasks for him. She hates having so much time to herself, alone, since that's when her bad thoughts strike again. Realizing that Tomoe being so busy meant she wouldn't have time but that Irina did, she ended up applying for a job at Mostro Lounge shortly after Riddle's Overblot, and was hired as a waitress.

In so doing, she became acquainted with Ruggie, the unofficial Savannaclaw Vice-Housewarden, as they happened to have quite a lot of their shifts together, and he was also the one responsible for training her. He was relieved she picked it up rather quickly. It was kinda like they could just...feel, that they were from somewhat similar backgrounds, or at least had similar experiences, so they quickly began to feel a silent kinship with each other.

And during her work, Floyd seemed to take somewhat of an interest in her, giving her the nickname 'Shrimpy' for her short stature, pink hair and general skittishness. He often played pranks on her and tried to get her attention, saying it was because "Your reactions are so funny Shrimpy~ and you're real nice too." However, she seemed to be really good at handling his typical mood-swings, at least compared to most other people, actually taking his emotions seriously and suggesting work-arounds and compromises rather than scolding him whenever he 'just didn't feel like it'. And so Azul decide to put her on 'Floyd duty'. And if she were to admit it, it was...kinda nice. Having someone seem so excited to see her, who'd pick her up and hug her in that bone-crushing way she'd always craved but never had the courage to ask anyone for. She developed a small crush on him as a result. Though, as she did with most things in her life, she tried to ignore it.

Book 2

When Tomoe and Grim were assigned the task of investigating, Irina was mostly occupied with her Mostro Lounge work, feeling it was her way of helping by supplying some kind of income to Ramshackle not entirely dependent on Headmage Crowley. So she went to work, completing her shift, then back to Ramshackle. It didn't leave her with a lot of free time. But she still felt...lonely.

She didn't feel like she was really close to anyone. She was envious of Tomoe for having friends. But at the same time, Irina didn't really want to make any, if that makes sense. It felt like way too much effort for what she expected would be a shallow friendship that ended quickly, like all her other friendships— if it even got to be a friendship at all.

One night she'd just been laying in bed unable to sleep, hearing the distant whispers of her parents fighting at the edges of her mind like usual, and deciding to go outside just to escape the confined room and get some kind of distraction from hearing them. She was incredibly startled hearing someone suddenly call out to her, having been too stuck in her own thoughts to notice him approaching like she usually could. She was honestly scared at first, though mostly as a result of being caught with her guard down, which she usually never was.

But as soon as she properly looked into his eyes, all that fear suddenly seemed to fade away in an instant. She didn't know why, but she suddenly started to feel relaxed in his presence, more so than she usually ever did. And she felt almost sad when he disappeared. But she told herself off for it; that was the first time she'd ever met him after all, and she didn't even know his name. But since he'd said she could call him whatever she wanted...

She'd call him Peridot, after the color of his eyes. 'Peri' for short.

Tomoe's first reaction to the name 'Peri' was to laugh, explaining that it made her think of Perry the Platypus. And once she'd also had the thought, Irina couldn't help but laugh too, 'Peri' being exchanged for 'Perry' in her mind after that point.

Book 3

The influx of new workers after the exams and Irina being close to Tomoe, whom was actively working against him, lead to Azul deciding to fire Irina from her job at the Mostro Lounge. That, and he didn't exactly like her anyway, her timid and in his eyes 'cowardly' behavior reminding him far too much of his younger self for his liking.

She was probably the least distressed out of her, Grim and Tomoe to lose their 'home' at Ramshackle, being so used to nothing in her life ever being the same for very long.

To try to somehow make up for the fact that she was fired from her job, Irina started using the School Cafeteria's kitchen more often, so she'd be able to at least cook for Grim and Tomoe. She felt like if she didn't, she was just a burden on the dorm in general, since food expenses had to cover her, too. And there, she encountered Jamil, the Scarabia Vice Housewarden. She instantly began to see right through his facade. From there she'd end up observing him every time they were both in a room. And he, in turn, did the same. He easily noticed that she seemed tailored her words, moods, reactions and even style of humor to whoever she was talking to at any given moment. And he found he could relate to that— always wearing a mask in front of others— and even admired how well she could adapt the mask to suit the person and context. Once, he asked her about it; how she could so seemingly effortlessly mirror people like that. The question shocked her to her very core. No one had ever noticed that about her before. She didn't really know how to react. So she just said the truth: she had no idea how she did it. she just did. She'd been doing it so long that she'd forgotten when she started, that it was just second nature to her. But she was still surprised he noticed that about her at all, since no one else ever had. And through her revealing more and more just how good at observing others she was, revealed to him everything she'd gathered about him: He was overworked and looking after Kalim against his will, probably due to some larger circumstances that wouldn't just be solved with a long conversation. He was tired of always doing everything everyone else wanted and never being given any support himself. Jamil was shocked that she managed to hit the nail right on the head so well. And also impressed. They started talking more about their observations of other people, and this, for once, seemed to be an area in which she had him beat. She had not only her direct observations, but also a very good sense of intuition and gut feeling, that was rarely ever wrong. But on the whole, their opinions and observations were often quite similar. So they ended up becoming good friends.

She ended up being asked by some Student or other if she'd thought about joining a club yet. She hadn't, not even really knowing which clubs actually existed. And so she decided to take a look to see if anything seemed interesting; she had a lot more free time after being fired from her job anyway. When she saw that there was a 'Gargoyle Appreciation Club' and that it had only one member, she knew instantly who that must be, and decided to join it.

Book 4

She was in a different room from Tomoe and Grim and so didn't try to to escape. And when the others were flung out of the dorm, she was the only one of them who Jamil let stay, even offering to make her his vassal, the Vizier to his Sultan, as a form of 'reward' for being able to recognize his greatness even as he hid it.

(Azul also ends up disliking Irina even more due to now being jealous that she's friends with Jamil while he won't even give Azul the time of day)

When Lilia showed up to give her the postcard, she knew who it must have been from. And so she asked Lilia to wait for a second, rushing into her room to get a box, with a letter attached, which she asked him to give to the sender of the postcard. It was a birthday gift for her friend Peridot; a clay tea pot, its spout designed to look like a little dragon, the handle on the opposite end sculpted into the shape of a scaly tail. The letter contained not only wishes for him to have a happy birthday, but also an explanation of the spout. She wanted to give him a Gargoyle as a gift, but she also wanted to make sure it was an actual Gargoyle, with a clear purpose, rather than just a decorative Grotesque. So she settled on a tea pot! Since it serves as the spout, the 'needs water spout' element of a Gargoyle was cleared, as well.

She wasn't there to see it, but when he got her gift and read the letter, he was so beside himself with joy that for the first time in at least a century, there was sunshine in Briar Valley. Not only was it a birthday gift from his best friend, hand-crafted no less, it was also incredibly thoughtful, proof to him that she'd been listening and paying attention to every single word of all his rambles about his beloved Gargoyles. The next time they met again, before any words could be spoken he quite literally picked her up off the ground and spun her around as a way to say 'thank you'. That was the moment she admitted to herself that she'd fallen in love with him.

He ended up insisting on them drinking at least one cup of tea for all their club meetings after this point, so he got a chance to use it. And he also insisted on the same for every single Housewarden meeting he went to, which he'd started to actually know the times and places of thanks to Irina knowing through Tomoe and telling him. If he'd had any less decorum he would have literally shoved the pot in the face of random people in the halls; he was that happy about it.

Book 5

She took a while to get used to there being people other than her, Tomoe, Grim and the ghosts living in Ramshackle. At first Vil reminded her a bit of how her mother used to be in her calmer moments, and it made her feel uneasy. She was also scared of Rook at first since he kept popping up out of nowhere and she, due to her trauma, gets scared really easily. She's also the one who gives Malleus the tickets to the SDC. For their booth at the cultural festival Irina made a bunch of small clay figurines of Grotesques and then wrote above them the differences between them and Gargoyles, to educate people.

When Tomoe meets Malleus for the first time, she lightly teases Irina, asking "So this is the famous 'Perry the Platypus."' Irina got very embarrassed, and Malleus, eyes wide with surprise, asked if that was meant to refer to him. Irina, face burning with embarrassment, then explains the name and its connection to a certain animated Platypus spy, but also says her nickname for him was actually supposed to be short for Peridot. It ended with Malleus bursting out laughing right then and there, Irina, still embarrassed, saying: "W-was it really that funny?" It then becomes a recurring inside joke of him calling himself 'her platypus friend'.

When Malleus began to fix the stage, not being used to magic and thus a bit scared at first, Irina moved close to his side out of reflex, feeling safer there. It made him really happy to think that for once, not only was there someone who wasn't afraid of him, but she even felt safe around him. Though she became very flustered when she realized she'd been gripping onto his jacket arm.

Book 6

She stays behind at NRC, staying in an unoccupied room at Diasomnia and waiting for Tomoe, Grim and everyone else to come back.

Book 7

I have not yet read Book 7, but! This time it's Irina's time to shine instead of Tomoe! Irina understands why Malleus does what he does, she also hates losing people; that's why she's not going to lose him to his Overblot.

Also, I didn't know where else to include this, but Crewel is her favorite teacher. She wants to do well in his classes and get his approval. She always does her absolute best and asks for clarification from him often to make sure she's doing it right, so an accident doesn't happen, hence why Potionology is her best subject. He praises her careful nature, and it makes her absolutely soar with joy. There's nothing that makes her happier than when she does well and gets a good grade and he pats her head and calls her 'good girl'- which she is one of very few students to hear often. She wishes he was her father. She's come very close to accidentally calling him 'dad' multiple times.

And on the topic of me technically having 2 'Yuu's, here is which events Irina would go to. If there is a Story Event not on this list, assume Tomoe went:

The Phantom Bride: Love at First Fright Twisted Halloween: Terror is Trending A Firelit Sky: Over the Sands The Harveston Sledathon Camp Vargas 2: The Art of Survival Sam's New Year Sale: 2024 (EN server) Glorious Masquerade: Let the Bell of Solace Ring Fairy Gala: Operation Illusive Evolution Twisted Tsumderland 2 Tapis Rouge

Bonus: 'Family' & Friends

Anthony Barret & Diana Barret/Popova

Clover the Plush & 'Clover' the 'imaginary friend'

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst oc #twisted wonderland oc #moony's ocs #yuusona #Spotify #💜irina

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danganronpafan777 · 1 year

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Yamato Kisaragi Fluff Alphabet

I don’t usually make a big deal out of the character’s birthdays, but Yamato is honestly one of my comfort characters. I’ve been working on this since months before I even started this blog, hence why the writing might not be great at some parts..

I’m not sure if I’ll allow entire fluff alphabets for requests, considering how long this took, but I’m making an exception for this boi

so anyway, enjoy my brain rot and part three of random scenarios/writing that no one asked for

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

He would not hesitate to spend any second of his free time with you. Being a genius and a future head of a secret tech company, he is pretty busy, but he'll always make time for you! For what he likes doing, he's happy with nearly anything! But he always treasures going to arcades and carnivals. He's naturally chatty and talkative, so he'd rather not go to a movie theater (even tho he loves the popcorn-) but he'd love to cuddle and watch a movie with you at home!

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

When Yamato's in love, he thinks everything is beautiful about you. Everything. He will not hesitate to tell you! Sometimes, in the middle of his rambles, he'll just stop talking and stare at you for a moment.

"...Um. Yamato? Is something wrong?"

He suddenly has a sweet smile on his face.

"No! Actually, everything is perfect." He kissed you. "But not a perfect as you, Y/n!"

He nuzzles his face into you.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

His loud and happy persona drops as he runs over to comfort you. He'll stay calm and won't hesitate to hold you. He'll take you through breathing exercises and talk you through it. You'll always have his shoulder to cry on. He'll wrap the two of you in a blanket, and watch your favorite movie with your favorite snacks.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

He pictures his future with you almost on a daily basis. He'll just be making an invention and his mind drifts to you. He'd be happy living in a comfortable home with you, maybe with some kids, he doesn't mind as long as you are happy. He knows that his father's company will give the both of you a wealthy and lavish life, but he doesn't care for money as long as he has you.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

I'd say he can switch between being dominant and passive. As far as affection goes, he just wants to be held and snuggle with you, but he's always there if you need something. If your sad, he won't hesitate to comfort you, and if you're cold, he won't hesitate to give you his jacket. He loves being cared for, but he'll do anything for you.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

Yamato is a genius, and if you're fighting with him, there's a big chance that's he's right, but he still remains calm and tries to diffuse the situation. He'll even claim he's wrong just to end the fight. If this is serious or about family, then he'll remain serious. If you say something about Mikako, he won't let it go. No matter what, his sister comes first, you have to respect that. Fights with him are rare and he usually forgives you immediately, but saying something bad about someone he cares about might put a strain in the relationship.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

He'll always be grateful for you! He has a knack for remembering all the small things you do for him, listening to him ramble, telling him to go to sleep when he stays up late for an invention, letting him copy (and correct-) your homework that he forgot about. He's more observant than you think, and he's always happy to have you.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

He rarely hides anything from you, and if he ever did, you'd probably be able to tell. He's not a good liar, and if he's hiding something from you, it's probably to protect you or it's a present for you. Other than that, he never lies to you.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

Chances are, you relationship with Yamato changed you in some way. Whether it's to be more understanding of people due to his kindness or more patient because of his rambling and work, Yamato definitely made you become a better person and improved your self esteem. As for him, you've gotten him out of inventor's block more times than he can count, and you've shown him not to be afraid to ask his friends for help. People usually see him as either the dorky inventor or the genius heir to the Kisaragi Foundation, and for a while, that's what he saw himself as. You showed him that he was more than that, and he was his own person.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

He doesn’t get jealous very easily. He trusts his friends, and could pick up if a stranger was flirting with you from a mile away. If you were being flirted with, then he would put his arm around you and nuzzle into your cheek, before turning to the person in question. If they didn't get the message, than he would tell them that he was your boyfriend. He wouldn’t be rude about it unless the person was being obnoxious or a creep.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

He’s inexperienced at first, but learns quick.

First kiss imagine was in a previous post.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

He probably wouldn’t confess until he was near certain that you liked him back, and even then, he wouldn’t get his hopes up. There’s a chance he accidentally confessed how he feels during one of his rambles, and doesn’t even notice until he saw you blushing. If he was going to confess to you, he would probably do something cheesy, like send you a letter asking you to meet him somewhere, or record his confession and play it for you in one of his inventions.

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

He’d love to marry you!! He’d propose after a few years of dating, most likely at a spot that means a lot to you both. He’d be sweating the entire night, trying to make sure everything is perfect down to the last detail. Marriage isn’t much different than dating him. If anything, he’s only more affectionate with you, knowing that only death could do you apart.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

He’d usually stick to cheesy nicknames like darling or sweetheart. Maybe an occasional “baby” just to make you flustered. If you were dating long enough, he might even create a completely new nickname for you, probably based on an inside joke or sweet moment between you both.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

He could completely hide his feelings if he wanted to, but he decides not to, making it obvious to anyone how much he loves you. The way he rambles even more with you, him wanting to spend as much time with you as possible, the gifts he makes for you… Your whole class is aware of his feelings for you after less than a month of him crushing.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

No matter how much he wants to brag about you, he always makes sure that you are fine with PDA first. If you have no problems with it, he would hold your hand and tell everyone about what an amazing S/o he has. If you were to kiss him in front of others, his whole day would be made and his face would light up.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that's beneficial in a relationship.

It’s not exactly random, but he is very skilled at telling how you feel. He can take one look at you and know if you had a bad day, to which he would cuddle your sorrows away. He can also tell if you like something, just by if you seemed to stare at it for too long. You like something you saw at Otori Mart? In just a few days, it’s yours.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

He’s very romantic and would buy an entire mall just to see you smile. Obviously, you make sure that he doesn’t go that far, but he always buys you expensive gifts or makes some himself. He’s a mix of cliché and creative, being a dork and also the ultimate inventor. He’d get you flowers along with a robotic version of your favorite animal.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

Of course! He'll always support you! He believes in you, and no matter what you're going through, he'll be with you all the way. If you ever need help or a shoulder to cry on, he's there. If you ever feel down, he won't hesitate to tell you how proud he is of you and how far you've come.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

He’s always happy to try new things! It’s literally his ultimate! He’s happy to stick to a routine if that’s what you prefer, but he’s always up for trying something new. Whether it’s a new date idea or new plans with your classmates, he’s just happy to be doing it with you.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

Yamato is a very empathetic person and even if you don't realize it, he knows you like the back of his hand. He'll be able to tell if something is bothering you from a mile away, and he'll always be there to comfort you.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it's worth in comparison to other things in their life?

He works hard to show you how much you mean to him. He'll always put you before his work, and besides his family, you are the most important thing in his life. With the stress of being the heir to a giant tech company, he's extremely grateful to have you by his side.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

As productive as he usually is, but loves having lazy days with you. The two of you would be cuddling and enjoying a movie night, and the next day he just won't let you leave. He'll let you go to the bathroom or grab food, but for the rest of the day, you're staying in his arms. He'll let you pick whatever movies you want to watch and will spend hours just snuggling with you, occasionally nuzzling or tickling you.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

Yes. Just yes. He'll hug you nearly everytime he sees you. He'll kiss and cuddle the moment you two are alone. He'll show PDA at any given opportunity if you're comfortable with it. He'll call you late at night to talk and ramble about you, he'll always set time aside to spend with you. When you stop him from overworking himself and drag him to bed, he'll just hold you.

"If I can't do anything, then you're not going anywhere!" He grins. You don't fight it, just accept your comfortable fate.

Y earning - How will they cope when they're missing their partner?

When he misses you, he'll think about you and usually call you. If you're busy, he'll cuddle up with an article of clothing or something of yours. Either way, when you come back, you'll be met with a near tackle hug from your clingy bf.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

Your relationship means a lot to him, and he’ll always prioritize you over his work! He’s willing to cancel meetings and business trips in order to spend time with you. Sometimes he’ll pretend to go to a Kisaragi Foundation meeting just to come back in less than an hour later with a gift he bought for you. He would do a lot for the relationship, and whether or not you know it, you have him wrapped around your finger

Art by @SmileyStar22 on Pinterest

#yamato kisaragi #dra x reader #danganronpa another #danganronpa x reader

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sassy-ahsoka-tano · 1 year

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DADDY ISSUES - Part Thirteen: Hot Girl Bummer

Character/Fandom: Elvis - Elvis (2022)

Prompt: After being gone for nearly three weeks, Elvis is returning from his US tour. You've never been more excited to see someone but something is different. [ Fem!Reader ]

TW: mentions of violence and guns, mentions of drugs, sexual themes, pain as a result of sex, sexual shame, angst

Rating: M || Word Count: 8072 (oops 😅 )

A/N: It's really important y'all read this because this chapter is heavy, with a capital H. It does contain some serious sexual themes that may be triggering to some readers. It's a very short section (700 words) and I've marked a place where you can skip that content if you wish. I don't want any of y'all to have to read something you don't want to see or experience, so please pay attention to that as you're reading. While it definitely drives home the unfortunate changes in E + Reader's relationship, you do not have to read it to understand the plot. It's solely here to demonstrate how far both characters have fallen.

I also hope I didn't scare you off cause it's not like a graphic depiction of sa or anything! I'm honestly not even sure it needs this much of a warning, but better safe than sorry! It's just a little more intense than the smut I usually write and I really want to make sure you guys stay safe and aren't triggered when you read my writing.

I love you and stay safe out there!! :) 💕

Song Rec: hot girl bummer - blackbear

This is Part 13 of Daddy Issues. Find the rest of the series here!

[ masterlist | taglist ]

🦋 mila

─────•~❉᯽❉~•─────

As you move to cross off your calendar with a big red X, you realize that Elvis has been gone for fifteen days. The worst fifteen days of your life.

After spending the night with Elvis, you’d woken up to an empty bed and empty room. You slept soundly through the entire night, not waking or dreaming one time that you could remember. You also couldn’t remember being that well rested in a long while. With a yawn, you stretched out before climbing out of bed and wrapping yourself in a blanket.

“Elvis?” you asked, although the cold silence of the hotel room gave away the fact that Elvis wasn't there.

When you padded into the kitchen, you found a note on the dining table.

Princess, I’m sorry to leave this way but we had to get going early this morning if we’re gonna make it all the way to Tennessee in time for the first show. I hope you enjoy your time off and I’ll see you in a few weeks. Take care of yourself and be ready for me when I get back. I’lll make up for all the time we missed out on. Here’s a number you can reach me at if you need anything. Or you can always call Jerry. D

Fifteen days later and you find yourself re-reading the note again. During his absence, your goal has been to refresh yourself, do some self-care, spend time with friends, and just enjoy some decompression time. But nothing has gone according to plan. The very first night spent without him ended with you, wasted and sobbing, getting sick into the toilet in your bathroom. Consequently, you spent the next day recovering from a nasty hangover. And the days after that were spent lounging around doing nothing but watching daytime television and reading magazines while you snacked.

You’ve been too embarrassed to reach out to Max and your other friends since you basically ditched them all for Elvis. Life feels so boring without him and whenever you do manage to get out and do an activity of some kind, you find yourself distracted by wishes that he were there to enjoy it with you. You considered returning home to LA for a while but, to be honest, you don’t have the energy to pack up and travel back. Plus, it’s been a while since you talked to Trixie. You never managed to call her back after she saw you on the magazine cover, which means you haven’t talked for several months. She’s called you a few times since then but you somehow always seem to be on your way out or too busy to answer. Now, it’s been so long that you’re too ashamed to answer.

Stuck at the hotel, everything reminds you of Elvis. His absence feels like an entire chunk of your life has been erased. Of course, you’re extremely proud of him and happy that he’s at least able to travel, if not internationally. You really do want him to enjoy his tour and all that but…fighting boredom isn’t the only reason you need him to come back.

Last night, one of the hotel staff brought up a massive stack of envelopes, many of them stamped with big terrifying red letters reading PAST DUE. You read through them all. Several threatened legal action if you didn’t pay back your debt or pay off your bills soon. Your gut reaction was to completely lose it and freak the fuck out, wondering how the hell you’re going to pay for it all. Then, of course, you remembered what your life is and what you “do” for a living.

You took a few moments to compose yourself before giving a call to Elvis at the number he’d left for you. No answer. You called again a few hours later and again this morning. No one ever answered. Next, you tried Jerry who answered and promised you that he’d relay the message. Something in his voice sounded off, distracted. You aren’t totally sure you trust him. It doesn’t matter anyway since, according to one of the letters, you have less than one week to pay your bill or you’ll be contacted by authorities of some kind. Elvis won't be back by then.

It’s not that you’re ungrateful. In fact, you are are very, very thankful for everything Elvis has given you and done for you. But this is a serious problem. If your bills aren’t paid…you shudder to think what might happen. Not to mention that these payments are probably only past due because you’ve moved all the way out to Las Vegas and forgotten to change your billing address. The companies probably sent the bills all the way over to Trixie in LA.

As these realizations begin to hit you, guilt and repentance swim around in your stomach. That’s why Trixie has been calling you. She was trying to get ahold of you to tell you that your bills were piling up. Now, you wish you would have answered. And then you feel even worse, knowing that you should have answered anyway, even if the call wasn’t an urgent warning regarding your financial stability.

Since Elvis won’t be back for another week, you’ll have to find some way to pay it yourself if you can’t get ahold of him. You’re starting to grow desperate and concerned. After trying the number Elvis left for the third time today and receiving no answer, you have enough panicked courage to finally call Trixie back. You sit, frozen, for about twenty minutes while the phone buzzes on the line as it waits for you to punch in the numbers. You anxiously twist the phone cord in your fingers as you wait for her to answer, hoping and praying that she’s at home and not busy. Finally, the line clicks on.

“Hello?” Trixie’s familiar, sweet voice chimes in.

“Trix! Oh my god, I’m so glad you answered! It’s me, Y/N!” you say excitedly, smiling as you grip the phone against your ear.

You’re greeted by silence and wait for several seconds until you start to wonder if you’ve been disconnected.

“Oh…hello,” she finally replies.

“Hi, um…sorry I’ve been distant lately. It’s been kind of crazy around here.”

“Uh-huh. I’m sure.”

“Right…” you say awkwardly. Your palms are starting to sweat and you’re wondering if this is a terrible idea. “So, how are things at home? How are you?”

“I broke up with my boyfriend so not great.”

“Oh?” your eyebrows furrow. You didn’t even know she had a boyfriend… “I’m sorry. I didn’t know-”

“Yeah, you didn’t. Maybe if you’d ever bothered to return my calls you would have known. Or you could have answered them in the first place. Any of the five million times I’ve tried you.”

“Uh…” you stammer. You know she’s right but aren’t sure what you can say in response. You don’t need to worry about it, though, because she continues before you have a chance to say anything else.

“I’ve called you thirty-five times since the last time we talked, you know. We haven’t talked in seven months.”

Your eyebrows furrow and you fall into the chair by the phone, shocked. It can’t have been seven months….right?

“Oh…I-”

“Yeah. Have you even been paying attention? To anything other than yourself for the past seven months? It actually doesn’t even matter because I’ve been calling you to let you know that you have bills piling up here. You owe a lot of money to a lot of people and some of these are from several months ago. I tried to send them to you but I never knew if they went through because I couldn’t get ahold of you. Cause, you know, you stopped answering your phone.”

Silence falls as your brain tangles itself around trying to figure out what to say in response.

“Well, that’s actually why I called you…I was wondering if you might be able to,” you pause and gulp, wincing at the thought of what you have to do. “…lend me some money to help with them. I…”

You fade out as you immediately start to regret asking her to bail you out again. What right do you have to ask her this? After you’ve ignored her completely for the past, apparently, seven months?

“No, please, tell me,” she spits into the phone. “How’s it going up there? Daddy’s forgotten to pay your bills?”

You scoff. You can’t explain why, but her bringing up Elvis just makes your blood start to boil.

“Listen, Trixie, I’m sure it’s just a mix up. I’m sorry I didn’t answer your calls but-”

“What? You were too busy fucking a celebrity to talk to your best friend? The person who gave you somewhere to live for a year when you didn’t have anywhere else? The person who barely knew you at all and still welcomed you into her home, paid for your room and board, cooked for you, was literally your only friend. Y/N, I don’t know who you’ve become over the last seven months. I haven’t even gotten to talk to you, so how would I know. But I just don’t care to know anymore. I’m tired of waiting around to see if you’re actually going to talk to me. It sounds like you’re doing great up there. I saw you and Elvis on a magazine again a few weeks ago at some Vegas club or something. Really nice. I hope you’re enjoying yourself up there and good luck with your bills. I don’t think we should speak anymore. In fact, I’d prefer it if we didn’t.”

“Trixie! I….what? No! Wait, Trixie-”

“Sorry, but I can’t waste my time on someone who so clearly doesn’t care about me.”

The click that sounds when Trixie hangs up the phone is final and harsh. You frantically tap at the receiver, hoping that you’ve just lost each other, even though you know the truth is that she hung up on you. Completely and totally deflated, you put the receiver down and shuffle into your bedroom.

You have to do something about this and fast, probably without Elvis' help, unfortunately. Your eyes sadly trace the faded walls of the apartment that's now dirty, dusty, and not nearly as chic as it was when you moved in. You suddenly sit up straight when your eyes land on the diamond choker sitting on top of its velvet box. You stand up and walk over to it, reaching out to hold it in your fingers. You heave a deep breath, knowing what you have to do.

At least Elvis is returning soon…

─────

When Elvis flight finally lands, you get a call from Jerry letting you know that he’s back and wants to see you tonight. You can barely contain your excitement as you throw your magazine to the side and the bag of chips you’ve been snacking on all day. You take a shower and change into a brand new sexy black dress with Elvis’ favorite pair of deep red lingerie underneath. At the appointed time, you leave the apartment and make your way upstairs to his room. You take a deep breath and smile before sticking your key into the door and pushing through.

“Hi there,” you say, smiling widely as you step into the room.

Your smile quickly drops as your eyes land on the Colonel. Elvis lifts his head and your heart pangs at the noticeable bags under his eyes and disheveled hair. You glance over at the Colonel, who is glaring at you with a cigar between his fat lips.

“And what do you think you’re doin?” he asks, waddling over to you. “Just bargin into Mr. Presley’s room like this.”

“Mr. Presley asked for me,” you say coldly.

“Mr. Presley is in a business meeting,” he replies, blowing smoke in your face just as he’d done before. This time, you wave a hand between you to dispel it.

“Mr. Presley scheduled a business meeting with me at this time,” you respond, staring directly into his eyes. God, you really hate this man. “So I guess that means your time is up. Have a lovely day, Colonel.”

He sticks the cigar between his teeth and glances back at Elvis, who’s sitting lazily on the couch with his eyes half-closed. You peer around the Colonel and your eyebrows knit together. Your daddy doesn’t look well. The Colonel leans in closer to you and you glare at him, disgusted.

“You better watch yourself, little girl,” he growls, flicking some ash from his cigar onto the floor. “If you know what’s good for you.”

With that, he manuevers around you and exits the room. You watch over your shoulder with distaste as he shuts the door behind him. He’s up to something and he’s dangerous. You’ve always disliked him but now you know he’s more of an ass that you originally thought. Shaking your head, you recenter your attention on Elvis.

“Hi daddy,” you say with a smile.

“Hello,” Elvis replies dryly, his expression unchanging.

“I don’t think he likes me very much,” you say with a chuckle, tilting your head in the direction the Colonel left.

Elvis doesn’t respond. Your smile falters a little but you don’t lose hope just yet. After stepping further into the room, you prop yourself on the arm of the couch.

“So did you miss me?”

He doesn’t respond, clearly involved in reading a letter or something that he's holding in his hand.

“Daddy, did you miss me?” you repeat. No response again. You raise your voice. “Mr. Presley!”

“What? Oh, sorry, baby,” he says in a speech that’s almost slurred. He turns this time, although still neglects to lift his gaze to yours. You take a deep breath.

“Did you miss me?”

“Uh, yeah sure. Course I did,” he glances up at you as he sorts through his mail, shaking his head dismissively.

“Okay…well I missed you. A lot,” you say, sliding down next to him and threading your arms around his torso.

He barely reacts and, then a few seconds later, gently removes your arms from around his body. You gulp as you feel your heart starting to drop. You decide to stop messing around and just get to the point.

“Okay well, do you want me tonight or not?” you ask bluntly, placing your hands on your hips.

“Yeah, sure thing. I'm just gonna shower first,” he says, throwing you a tight-lipped smile.

He makes his way into the bathroom before you even have a chance to protest. You’re left, standing confusedly in the middle of the couch with your hands outstretched and mouth hanging open. With a deep sigh, you wander over into the bedroom and notice the stack of mail that Elvis carried in there with him. You sneak a little peek at what’s there. As you sort through it, you notice another receipt for Elvis Presley Enterprises. Glancing around the corner to make sure that Elvis is inside the shower, you then turn to the envelope and pull out the thin piece of paper to read.

Again, you see that EP Enterprises has paid over 50% of the total cost to the Colonel and for several other things that seem unnecessary. As your eyes hit the bottom of the receipt, you still don’t see any payments being made to you or any of the government or company agencies that you owe money to. Your mind flashes back to the very first time Elvis suggested this arrangement to you, what he said about paying your bills. That you wouldn't have to worry about a thing. Either he lied or something else is going on here. You think, too, about the Colonel’s threat. You better watch yourself, little girl. If you know what’s good for you. That man doesn’t scare you by any means. But he is starting to seriously piss you off. He has to be behind this. You just know it.

You hear the shower click off and clutch the paper tighter in your hands, wandering over toward the bed and taking a seat on it. After what feels like a lifetime of waiting, Elvis comes out from the shower with a towel around his waist. Although he hasn’t even been gone for a month, you can see the changes in his face and body. He looks disheveled, probably just tired from all the work and constant performances. But his stomach is rounder than it was, his face drawn, his hair long and unkempt. As you stare at him, you start to wonder if you’re looking at the same man you’ve known.

“Um, Mr. Presley,” you say.

Your eyebrows furrow as you watch him pop more pills into his mouth and down them with a glass of water. You resist the urge to say something about how many he’s taking; what do you know, anyway? You’re not a doctor. He glances over at you and hums in response.

“Could we…talk about something?” you ask nervously, clutching harder onto the receipt.

“Yeah. What’s up, sugar?” he asks, making his way toward the bed and sitting down next to you.

You turn toward him.

“Well it’s just that, uh…I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but I received a stack of bills in the mail the other day. It was a big stack and they were all past due. When you first proposed the arrangement to me, you said that you’d be happy to pay my bills for me and Jerry also said that-”

“Whatcha got there?” he gestures to the crumpled piece of paper in your fingers and you crunch it tighter, suddenly realizing that you probably shouldn’t be reading your sugar daddy’s mail without his knowledge or permission.

“Nothing, just a tissue. Anyway, I just-”

“I’ll take care of it. Make me a list of what and how much and I’ll make sure it gets done. It was supposed to have been taken care of already,” he says, his eyebrows furrowing and his tongue running over his teeth.

“A-are you sure? I noticed that-”

“Done,” he says resolutely and you clamp your lips together.

You guess it’s none of your business, his financial decisions. Plus, he probably knows already anyway. Why wouldn’t he? It’s not like the Colonel is some distant man who never sees Elvis in person. Quite the opposite, in fact, as you know very well by now. You clutch the receipt in your fingers.

“Thank you,” you say quietly.

“Not a problem, doll. Hey, we can get to it in a few minutes. I just need a rest real quick.”

“Don’t you even worry, big daddy,” you say with a smile, your insides starting to churn with excitement at the thought of getting down and dirty with him again. You’ve missed it so, so much. His sounds, his approval, his touch. “You just lay back and I’ll take care of everything.”

He lays back and you hop off the bed, lifting your top from your frame. With one finger nestled underneath your bra, you freeze as you realize that he’s deep asleep. His mouth is open, a thin line of drool already starting to trickle out. He’s also snoring loudly. You sigh and shake your head, confused by this new Elvis. He seems totally different, utterly disinterested. You assume again that he’s just tired from traveling and performing fifteen shows in as many days. At least, that’s what you desperately hope.

Unfortunately, you soon find out that he’s not just tired. He’s changed.

Over the next several months, you start to notice a number of Elvis’ bad habits growing exponentially worse Most frustrating among them being the drugs. It seems like almost every time you see Elvis nowadays, he’s popping one pill or another. When you meet him in the dressing room or in his room upstairs, he hardly even seems awake sometimes. You tried to be optimistic at the beginning, prompting him to take care of himself. You encouraged him not to take so many pills or to skip a show and give himself some rest. But he’s refused to listen to anything you have to say.

The sex has become unbearly boring and standard, even worse than it was in the beginning. He moves so much slower than he used to. It barely takes any effort on your part to make him finish anymore. You rarely find yourself interested in the sex and more often than not, you have to finish yourself off in the bathroom alone. Sometimes, he barely does anything and expects you to ride him to completion, after which he just falls asleep. Every time, you tuck him in and give him a kiss on the forehead, hoping one time he’ll somehow notice. And then you’ll see a glimmer of the man you used to know, the one you had grown so fond of.

But he never does.

He still buys you expensive gifts and, for a while, you didn't receive any more past due bills, so you figured he took care of your debt, which, of course, you appreciate. But you get to see him less and less these days. One night, when you’re tidying up his room, which tends to get very messy very often now, you discover a bra that doesn’t belong to you. You finally have to face the reality that he’s seeing other women.

As you’ve hashed over a thousand times, you know you’re not exclusive and with his lifestyle and the arrangement you agreed to, you never could be. But still…your heart wants something you just can’t have. Sometimes it feels like you’re starving for his attention, like your life has no meaning without him in it. But your whole relationship has become one giant business transaction with no meaning and no emotion.

When you started feeling even more isolated than the three weeks he was gone for the US tour, you found yourself returning to the backstage area as you tried to make other social connections. Or rekindle the ones you flushed down the toilet.

After several weeks, you finally managed to run into Max. You approached him with a big smile on your face and a friendly wave, but he hadn’t care one bit. He met you with a flat face and cold exterior. When you asked him how things were going, he responded with silence. Then he very emphatically and very bluntly told you that he wants nothing to do with you and none of the people in his circle do either. He went on a long rant about how he never actually knew you, about how you led him on and then dropped him like he was nothing. And he finally answered your long-wondered question. He always knew that your entire purpose there was to fuck Elvis. He’d left you standing still, frozen with guilt and shame, in the backstage hallway.

You also tried Trixie more than several times. And every time the phone rang and rang and rang with no answer. You don’t even know how she knows its you but she always seems to know. The singular time she picked up, she also hung up before you even had the chance to apologize.

In the last month, you’ve also started receiving past due statements again and you’ve never been more frustrated. Whenever you try to bring it up to Elvis, he just assures you that it’s being taken care of. To be quite honest, you don’t know that he even has the mental capacity to have it taken care of adequately anymore. And you’re sure the Colonel just tells him whatever he wants to hear, anyway.

Just six months after returning from the first US tour, Elvis informs you he will be leaving again for another one. The night before his departure, Jerry hand delivers a letter that explains everything. You sigh and shake your head.

“He couldn’t even have walked down here to tell me himself?” you ask, shaking your head.

Jerry just shrugs and shoots you a pitying look.

“Could I come in?” he asks and you shrug, opening the door wider for him. You sit on the couch together in silence for several minutes until he speaks.

“I’m sorry. I know he’s different,” Jerry says, gently taking your arm. “You can leave at any time, you know. You don’t have to stay here. I know it probably hasn’t been what you expected and it’s been…difficult for all of us to watch what’s happening to him. I don’t…know how to help him.”

“I’m glad it’s not just me who’s noticed. What’s wrong with him? He used to be so warm and loving and now…it’s like a different person came back in his place. The drugs, the girls, the guns…it’s all so-”

“I know. I think it’s the stress, the pressure. He has an addiction to performing, to being onstage, to being loved by the masses. The Colonel has him doing all these damn shows, these tours that are unhealthy and too busy, and Elvis just won’t listen to a thing I say.”

You nod.

“Did you know the Colonel takes 50% of Elvis’ earnings?”

“Yeah, I did. But how do you know about that?” he quirks an eyebrow at you.

“I’ve been sneaking peeks at his receipts. How is that legal?”

“Unfortunately, totally legal. Elvis signed his life away when he was 21. He didn’t know any better and things were different back then. Y/N, the Colonel is…a dangerous man. You cannot tell anyone about this, but…I’m looking into his background now. I’m very interested to see what I might find.”

“Jerry,” you start, unsure whether to continue, “I have a question. Elvis told me that he’s been paying my bills and my debts. But a few months ago I got past due statements. They went away for a while but I’ve started getting them again. Is it possible that Elvis doesn’t know where his own money is going?”

“Possible? I think it’s probable. His father’s the business manager but Vernon has absolutely no idea what he’s doing. He’s completely overmatched in every way. He went to jail for tax fraud for god’s sake. Hey, I’ll look into it for you. I think it’s likely that the Colonel has been stopping those payments from going through.”

You nod.

“Yeah, I don’t think he likes me very much. I think he actually threatened me a while back,” you say.

“What did he say?”

“I don’t really remember, honestly. Something about ‘watching myself if I know what’s good for me.’”

Jerry nods, rubbing his fingers along his chin. You glance over at him and your eyebrows raise. You’ve never really paid attention to how handsome he is. You always knew, of course, that he’s good looking but…

You chat for a little while longer. You start to tell him about your struggles, the loneliness and the anxiety. Your weekly breakdowns triggered by the fact that you have no friends, no steady income that you can be sure of, and no romantic interests that make you feel good about yourself.

“I’m always here for you,” Jerry says, leaning forward and taking ahold of your hands. He squeezes them. “You know that, right?”

“Thanks, Jerry. You have no idea how much you’ve meant to me during this whole crazy thing,” you say, squeezing his fingers back. “I could never have done this without your support.”

His eyes flick down to your hand and the corner of his mouth quirks up in a small smile. You pull away and he gets ready to leave so he can finish up the rest of his work for the day.

Once Jerry is gone, you don’t know what to do with yourself other than flop on the couch and try not to have yet another breakdown out about your dwindling funds.

The next three weeks move slower than molasses as you pass your time with lots of sleep and not much of anything else. Elvis and Jerry are both gone on the second US tour. You manage to finish three novels and catch several movies at the theatre…by yourself. You don’t have the energy or social battery to even bother trying to make friends in Vegas anymore and all you really want is to go back home to Los Angeles. Back to when you were safe, happy, and healthy living with your best friend and in charge of your own schedule. As you lazily glance at the calendar, your head snaps up and you smile. Today is…

You pick up the phone and dial a number that you hope still belongs to the same person.

“Steve?” you ask when the line clicks on.

“This is he. May I ask who I’m speaking to?” your cousin’s familiar voice sounds on the other end of the line.

“Steve, thank god! It’s Y/N,” you say, leaning into the speaker of the telephone, as if that action will somehow give you comfort.

“Y/N! It’s so good to hear from you. I heard that you, er…took Elvis’ offer after all,” he says.

“Yeah, I did...” you reply with a gulp.

“How’s it…going?”

You pause for a few seconds, taking a deep breath and releasing it before responding.

“I’d rather not talk about it, if I’m being honest. Besides, I called to say happy birthday anyway! How are things going in Burbank? How are you doing?”

“Good, good. Sharon and I got engaged last month, actually,” he says and you can practically hear the happiness in his voice.

“Oh wow!” you respond excitedly, although you can practically feel your heart cracking into a million pieces at the thought of being so utterly alone. “That’s so great! Congratulations, Steve! When’s the wedding?”

“Seven months from Monday,” he says. “You’re invited, of course. We’re hoping to send invitations out soon but work’s been a bit busy, you know, Christmastime and all that.”

“Oh…I guess it is Christmas time, isn’t it?” you ask, the realization suddenly hitting that you’re already two weeks into December.

“Unbelievably, yeah. But enough about me. I really would like to know how you’re doing? Is…he taking care of your bills and things like he promised? I…actually came up to visit a few weeks ago but couldn’t get backstage to see him.”

“You…were here? Why didn’t you come see me? You could have stayed with me?”

“I….”

“What?”

“Well, you weren’t there?”

Your eyebrows furrow.

“No…I had to have been here. I moved here and I live here now. I haven’t left in…” your eyes widen as you think about it, “well, months. I was definitely here.”

“That’s so strange…the hotel staff told me that you were gone on a trip. I thought-”

“The hotel staff? Which hotel staff?”

“I…can’t remember, honestly. It was some big guy with a nametag on, so I assumed he was a staff member. Why do you ask?”

“Because I'd bet money that the Colonel told him to lie to you. He knows damn well that I’ve been here for the last two years. Every day for the last two years.”

“Why would he do that?”

“I don’t know…”

A few seconds of silence pass and you momentarily wonder if you’ve been disconnected before Steve speaks up again.

“Y/N, be careful up there. The Colonel’s a very bad, very dangerous man. I think he’s taking advantage of Elvis and I’d hate to think that he’s doing the same with you. Maybe you should…”

“Should what, Steve? Please tell me.”

“Maybe you should just pack up and come home. If you’re still in that much need of money then maybe I can help you out again. I’m sure I can find something for you-”

“No, Steve, it’s alright. Everything’s fine. If I need anything, I’ll be sure to let you know. But everything’s fine, I promise.”

“If you insist. Damnit. Hey, listen Y/N, I gotta go. Apparently we’ve had a crisis at the office, but I’ll give you a call later, okay? Feel free to reach me any time. I’m here if you need anything.”

“Will do. Oh, Steve!”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you. For everything.”

“Of course.”

And the line clicks off. You put the phone down and curl into a ball on your bed, shutting your eyes and hoping to sleep through the next five days until Elvis has returned from his second US tour.

Sure enough, five days later, you receive news from the buzz around the casino and hotel that Elvis is arriving later in the afternoon. You feel intense shame and embarrassment about the fact that your entire being feels lit up with joy and happiness when you realize that you might finally be able to be held in his arms again. Nothing in you is even interested in being fucked or pleasured at this point. All you want is to touch his face, feel the softness of his hair, be held tightly in his strong arms, so close to his chest that you can feel his heart beat against your skin.

You wait all day for a phone call or a letter or something. You receive nothing. Not a damn thing. The next night passes the same and you wonder if he’s forgotten about you. On the third day, you decide to march right up to his room and confront him. Ironically, you finally get the call that afternoon, an invitation actually, to attend the late show that evening and then visit him afterward.

With excitement unmeasurable, you get yourself ready to meet him, all dolled up in your best makeup, which you take an extra hour and extra care to do perfectly, just the way you know he likes it. You also wear his favorite pair of lingerie and his favorite black dress. At the last minute, as you’re sliding a finger into your TCB ring, you get a lurching feeling in your stomach. You look up at yourself in the mirror and hold a hand up to your throat, dragging your fingers across the bare skin. It feels like something is missing, you know exactly what. Your outfit would be complete with it.

With a disappointed sigh, you make your way downstairs in perfect time for the show to start. You’re seated toward the back at a table almost in the darkness. You gulp in slight embarrassment before sitting down. While unhappy that it seems like Elvis is trying to hide you, you’re actually quite relieved to be sitting in the darkness with how you’ve chosen to dress and present yourself. Anyone passing by would probably automatically assume you’re some kind of prostitute. Isn’t that what you are, anyway? And should you feel more shame than you do?

You don’t have much time to speculate on it because the band strikes up a chord and the show starts. You smile. It’s been almost a whole year since you came down to enjoy a show. At the beginning of your residency there, you came down all the time to see his shows. But the novelty wore off quickly. The last time you attended a show was the vibrator incident...

This time, however, you actually find that you enjoy yourself quite a bit. With Elvis paying for everything, you order a full meal and a glass of wine. And without a vibrator in your panties, you can actually enjoy your meal and watch Elvis at his very best. You get to see an old version of Elvis. Not the man you'd known so intimately nor the one you’ve grown to despise over the past couple of months. This is the man you find yourself dragged toward, attracted to, entrapped by. This is the Elvis who got you to say yes so many months ago.

That is, until something happens, of course, to ruin all of that. You watch in horror as two random men from the audience run up onto the stage as if they’re going to attack Elvis. You jump out of your seat, your fingers flying up to your mouth as you watch, unable to do anything from where you’re seated. Luckily, they seem to just be overexcited fans. But you can’t help but notice Elvis reach into the tops of his boots for something, something you’ve definitely noticed he sneaks into his boots before he goes onstage. The guns. “Protection,” as he’d called it.

The two men are escorted out, walked right past your table. But you hardly even notice them. Your attention is held firmly on Elvis as his wild eyes fly around the stage and the audience. Your heart is pounding in your chest with adrenaline and fear. You reach up to feel it beat against your breast and feel overwhelmed by the sensation. Elvis stumbles around onstage, his face shadowed so that it appears hollow and haunted and…evil. He looks erratic, terrified and wrathful at the same time.

The reality of what could have happened hits you. You fall back into your seat as your chest starts to heave. Elvis could have died…been shot onstage. Suddenly, you’re thrown back to 1968 when you all watched Bobby Kennedy die on national television. All the fear from that moment, from watching someone’s life drain from their body, it all returns to you.

The show comes to an abrupt end when they escort Elvis offstage. You stand, grabbing your purse, and make your way toward the door where Stanley the security guard always stands. As soon as you approach, he holds up a hand telling you to stop.

“I’m sorry, Miss Y/L/N, but we’re not allowing anyone backstage right now. I’m afraid you’ll have to wait. It’s probably a good idea for you to return to your room for the evening. If Mr. Presley wants to see you, I’m sure he’ll call,” Stanley mumbles, offering a small smile.

“Thanks Stanley,” you say and return the expression. “Will you just tell him that I’m here for him. If he needs me, that is.”

“I'm not sure that's within my pay grade, ma'am,” he replies, but he must have noticed your panicked expression because he adds, "But I'll certainly do what I can."

With a deep sigh, you make your way back upstairs to your room, where you crash on the couch and drop your head into your hands. You only have a few minutes to sulk before you get a telephone call.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s Jerry. He’s asking for you,” Jerry says and you breathe a sigh of relief. You know Elvis hadn’t gotten hurt or anything but you are intimately familiar with how unstable his mental state is right now.

“I’ll be right up,” you say and hang up before Jerry even has a chance to say goodbye.

When you emerge from the elevator, you immediately hear raised voices, Elvis’ and a woman’s. You don’t even bother waiting to come in, desperate to see him, to know that he’s fine, that he’s okay. A flurry of emotions swirl around in your stomach. You’re angry that people would dare try to hurt Elvis, you’re angry at Elvis for being who he is, you’re frustrated that you even have to go through this, you’re terrified for his safety, you’re scared of what’s to come, and most of all, you’re griefstricken at the thought of living a life without him.

As you make your way through the massive rooms, the screaming stops. Your eyebrows raise as your gaze falls on Priscilla Presley walking straight toward you. She holds your gaze, her eyes full of anger. You don’t back down, though. Normally, you would feel awkward and guilty seeing her. But at this point, you’ve grown to become so unhappy and possessive over Elvis that you couldn’t give a flying fuck what she thinks of you. He’s unhappy with her, anyway, that’s why you exist in the first place. You raise your neck and stare her down as she passes. As she nears you, you watch as her anger quickly fades into grief, plainly displayed on her face. You know any normal person would be feeling some guilt at this moment but, in all honesty, you don’t feel anything. You don’t care.

You waltz into the room to see Elvis sitting on the bed, already half-undressed and just in a pair of boxers. You immediately approach him, dropping to your knees between his legs. You raise your hands to his face, gently brushing his hair back from his forehead. You push your thumbs into his skin to massage it a little.

“Mmm,” he hums in approval.

“Are you alright?” you whisper.

“Mhmm, just fine,” he replies.

── tw | scroll to the bottom of the post to skip ──

“Can I help, at all?” you ask in your most seductive tone, stepping in front of him and running your hands smoothly down his chest.

In all honesty, you don’t really want to have sex. You aren't feeling very sexy right now at all. But you can tell that he needs it, needs something. You wouldn’t go as far as to say that he needs you but…he needs something that you believe you can provide. He lifts his blue eyes to yours, they’re more grey these days except for when he’s onstage performing. He doesn’t react, but you can see in his eyes that he wants it. You gently push him back onto the bed, climbing on top of him and starting to press kisses to his hot skin. He barely moves, allowing you to manipulate him easily.

He’s still sweaty from being onstage but you don’t mind. You’re used to it at this point and besides, it’s sexy as hell. You kiss down his neck, dragging your lips between pressing them down. You trail down his chest onto his stomach.

When your finger hooks into the waistband of his underwear, he jerks to life. His fingers curl around your arms and he pulls you up and then spins you around, shoving the top half of your body down on the bed, a little harshly but not it's not painful. You assume the familiar position, arching your back and cooperating to step through your panties as he pulls them off. He slides the fabric of your dress out of the way and you wait patiently until he slides into your folds.

You wince and clutch onto the sheets on the bed. You’re drier than normal. You're far too emotional to get wet enough, even with Elvis Presley behind you. He doesn’t seem to notice or care, though, because he starts to pump in and out of you mercilessly. You bury your head into the sheets, biting and tugging on the fabric as he slides in and out of you.

The air is silent aside from the sounds of your skin slapping together and Elvis’ quiet groans. As he drills into you, you can feel yourself loosening up just a tad. You release a few strained moans from the combination of pain and pleasure. The friction isn't very enjoyable but you remind yourself that this is your job, this is what you are to him. That this can help you, too.

His speed increases and you feel a tear slipping out of your eye, but whether it’s from the pain or the emotion, you aren’t sure. His fingers grip into your hair, pulling your head up. You experience a moment of relief and moan loudly. You want so badly for this to feel good.

You tilt your head to the side and catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. Before, you loved the way you looked in the mirror as he was fucking you. You were so turned on, so desperate for him, so fucked out. Now, you just look worn, sullen. Used. You squeeze your eyes shut tightly, not wanting to face what you are. A slave to his sex. And now a slave to him.

Finally, you feel warmth flood your insides as Elvis finishes himself off. You twitch as you realize he's finished inside of you. He's never done that before. He grunts and leans over, his body weight pressing onto your back. When he rests his forehead between your shoulder blades, you feel your face screw up in grief. It’s so cheap, so pathetic, to grasp at this one moment of intimacy. But you do, all the same. He only remains there for a few moments before removing himself and going immediately into the bathroom. You remain in position until you hear the door shut and then fall over on your side.

Your shoulders begin to shake and you cry silently. Tears stream down your face, stinging your cheeks. When you pull yourself to sit up, you wince at the soreness of your heat. You reach down to touch yourself and bring a finger up. It's covered in a thick layer of Elvis' cum. The sight makes you both proud and ashamed, joyous and devastated. You invited him to do it and you don’t regret it. But...

───── tw ─────

You miss the man you used to know, the strong, passionate one you had fights with. The one who knew what he wanted, who he was, what you wanted. The one who cared, who took an interest in you, who had fun. This wasn’t sex between two people who wanted it. This was sex between an object and someone who just needed to feel something.

Your eyes lazily drift over to the framed picture of Lisa Marie and you think through everything that's happening. You wipe your tears away and sniff. Filled with intense rage, you stand and slam the picture face-first down onto the nightstand. You don’t want to see her. You don’t want her to see this. Why does she have to exist anyway? You stand with clenched fists, facing what you’ve done as your chest heaves. Suddenly, you’re filled with fear and panic. You kneel down and pick up the frame to see that the glass has shattered in a few spots.

“No, no, no,” you say as the tears start to steam down your face again.

You shakily lift some of the glass shards and attempt to piece them back together but it’s no use. You drop your head and the glass but not before one of the shards slices a small pinhole prick in your finger. Biting your lip in pain, you press your wounded finger to your chest and crawl back into the bed. You don’t even bother to tuck yourself in. You curl up into a ball and squeeze your eyes shut, hoping for sleep to take you away as soon as possible for as long as possible.

After a few minutes, you hear rummaging from the bathroom as Elvis comes back out. You don’t react when he touches you softly, so much softer than he was when he was fucking you fifteen minutes ago. You feel a warm, soft rag being drug over your body, cleaning up any bodily fluids that he’d left on you. You convulse when he hits your sore folds and he stops immediately, massaging his fingers into your shoulder. He doesn’t apologize, but gently, so so gently, presses the wet rag against you, dabbing up anything that might be leaking out.

Then, he’s gone again, only for a few seconds. When he returns, he gently lifts your legs and pulls the covers out from under them and then over your body. He tucks you in and then climbs in behind you, wrapping his warm arms around you. Normally, you would find this comforting and you’d be practically begging for this. But tonight, not so much. You really just want to be left alone, to vanish in thin air, to dissolve into nothing.

“You alright, baby?” he whispers, gently stroking your hair out of the way.

You squeeze your eyes tighter, not having the strength to respond. You hope he’ll just figure that you’re asleep. He sighs and gently strokes his knuckle down your cheek, pausing by your jaw. You feel him push his head against your neck and then the shudders of his body as he cries quietly. You feel your own tears slipping from your eyes, staining your cheeks with cold streaks of liquid. The last thought of the night is spent wondering how you both could have fallen so far.

─────•~❉᯽❉~•─────

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