#some of this shit was hilarious at the time lemme tell u

[anachronistic-falsehood]

MAN i am so tempted to just delete the entirety of my old hollywood undead blog but i'm scrolling thru it and i had some banger posts ngl

[borathae]

Chapter 33

WHERE IS HE??? IM IN LOVE WITH YOU AGAIN AND U RUN AWAY NOO

the panic is so visible in the writing even though it isnt said out loud

“Yoongi! Please come out!” *he appears out of nowhere, IM PAN *disappers again

THE PICTURE GOSH

KOOK THANK GOD UR BACK of course he is suspecting us 😭😭but bestie litsen oh yeah i dont need to tell u, u already sniffed us

ok mission find yoongi gosh i feel the nervousness and worry also kook's angry at her too 😭😭

oh no wonder jungkook is not feeling great they left 😭😭fuck i already miss jin and hobi, and now yoongi is also gone AND TAE IS STILL IN DOWN THERE

youre not a burden kook, they wanted better things for you

jungkook and oc sitting on a tree k i s s i n g im sorry i needed to say something to ease myself, this is bad, fuck 😭😭

NOT THE TWILIGHT AGAIN 😭😭its so hilarious

ok looks like things are going to be solved it makes me so angry that you are selfish enough to ruin such a chance for me.” aah

“First of all rude, I am scary” 😾as scary as a kitten

I am pretty sure that I managed to help Yoongi turn his emotions back on. And then when I tried to ask him if I did, he panicked and told me that ‘he cares for nobody’ and then he ran away.” summary of previous chapter

“Maybe our story is like enemies to lovers”, you joke. Jungkook scoffs, “you read too many romance books.” shush lemme rot in my chair/bed ALSO IT IS, i mean they were bickering a lot, but i think the real enemies to lovers is going to be taekook (kook u didnt hear this)

“that’s what I imagine real love to be like.” “Acceptance. Acceptance of their biggest flaws. That’s what real love is.” that was beautiful AND ATTACK TO US

“Yeah”, his lower lip quivered, “like really, really bad”,WE GOT NEWS FOR YOU

You have him and Yoongi too. Jungkook feels so loved right now. GOSH I LOVE HIM TOO MUCH

how is it your fault babe no no dont tell me its going to be, fuck great if I didn’t want this stupid oven then we would still have our house and maybe Cookies would still be alive.” ITS THE OVEN'S FAULT it was probably bad

ou avert your gaze to the moon. It isn’t as big as it was days ago. Time, once again, had passed. It makes you sad, it really does, but sitting here with Jungkook does lessen the burden of it a little bit. The world seems so peaceful up here, with the freshly fallen snow on every tree and the glowing lights of the town in the faraway distance. It is so bright too. The moonlight makes everything glow silver, almost as if it was daytime. this whole thing reminds me of tae and im about to cry i love this para tho. i want to see the moon sitting on a tree too

2 WEEKS?? AND HE STILL HASNT COME BACK shit the loneliness is really unbearable, the vibe of them all together is gone 😭 shit poor tae he is all alone, locked up and ik he isnt even counting days cuz he believes he deserves it 😭 is he hearing her?? i hope he does, at least he would get some comfort from her voice

Apparently the body of a Ripper grows weaker faster than that of a normal vampire. fuck thats so fucked up, forcing it on the vampire and not having an escape from this fate

LORD SPOTIFY JUST PLAYED SUPER TUNA 😭😭 WRONG TIMING

“No, I’m screwed”, he sobs, shaking his head vigorously. maybe jin and hobi will be back before yoongi or maybe yoongi will be back soon

“Taehyung?” he scoffs, “no thanks, I’d rather die.” ha 😃if only u knew haha

why are they soo cutely awkward uwuw babies

Now you are standing by the end of the stairs, just three steps higher than Jungkook. You are fumbling with the handrail, eyes racing over his soft features. Jungkook is grasping the railing tightly, rolling his lower lip between his teeth nervously. You think it is adorable how shy he still becomes sometimes. It gives him that beautiful sparkle in his big eyes. this moment would have been one of their pictures if this was a series

THEY KISSED YIPPEEE YIPEEEE YIPEEE 😻🤩😍💖✨🎇🎆

Is that what his sweetheart back in the days got to experience when he was still human and his body wasn’t controlled by those awful urges to rip every living being into shreds? im gonna cry

FUCK GRAVITY FOR MAKING THEM FALL but also thank you for giving that ✨falling✨moment

Oh if only you knew how much this means to him. Oh if only you knew how many decades he went without kissing in such ways. Oh if only you knew how much he wanted to break into tears at this moment.  😭😭 istg i never wanted to kiss a male character this badly ever

“Please take me right here and now”, he pleads. IM LOSING MY SHIT gracefully??, like freefalling spotify is crazy for playing let me love you ne yo before this *plays it again

“Kook your cheeks”, oh no im getting worried

FUCK THIS IS TOO HOT YALL IM GOING TO SHAVE MY HEAD

OH HSIT OH NO NO NO KOOK PLS NOT NOW NO ONE IS HERE TO HELP YOU SWITCH BACK SHIT

WHERE IS HE??? IM IN LOVE WITH YOU AGAIN AND U RUN AWAY NOO

me fr fnadnfas

the panic is so visible in the writing even though it isnt said out loud

gah thank you <333

“Yoongi! Please come out!” *he appears out of nowhere, IM PAN *disappers again

lmaoao Pan is an Pansexual? fajdsjf

KOOK THANK GOD UR BACK of course he is suspecting us 😭😭but bestie litsen oh yeah i dont need to tell u, u already sniffed us

lamoaoa bro really said 👃🏻 you fucked.

ok mission find yoongi gosh i feel the nervousness and worry also kook's angry at her too 😭😭

LIKE why does it hit so much harder when Kook is angry at her?? like please not my pookie wookie kookie :(

oh no wonder jungkook is not feeling great they left 😭😭fuck i already miss jin and hobi, and now yoongi is also gone AND TAE IS STILL IN DOWN THERE

LIKE EVERYTHING IS A MESS AND I'M SAD

youre not a burden kook, they wanted better things for you

YES THIS pleas kookie :((

“Maybe our story is like enemies to lovers”, you joke. Jungkook scoffs, “you read too many romance books.” shush lemme rot in my chair/bed ALSO IT IS, i mean they were bickering a lot, but i think the real enemies to lovers is going to be taekook (kook u didnt hear this)

JFDAJFJ this is not a lie fajdsfja

“that’s what I imagine real love to be like.” “Acceptance. Acceptance of their biggest flaws. That’s what real love is.” that was beautiful AND ATTACK TO US

I ACTUALLY LOVE HIM SO MUCH

“Yeah”, his lower lip quivered, “like really, really bad”,WE GOT NEWS FOR YOU

KOOKIE JUST BE PATIENT YOU WILL KNOW HOW IT FEELS LIKE :(

You have him and Yoongi too. Jungkook feels so loved right now. GOSH I LOVE HIM TOO MUCH

me totoototototooooo

ou avert your gaze to the moon. It isn’t as big as it was days ago. Time, once again, had passed. It makes you sad, it really does, but sitting here with Jungkook does lessen the burden of it a little bit. The world seems so peaceful up here, with the freshly fallen snow on every tree and the glowing lights of the town in the faraway distance. It is so bright too. The moonlight makes everything glow silver, almost as if it was daytime. this whole thing reminds me of tae and im about to cry i love this para tho. i want to see the moon sitting on a tree too

gosh I miss him too 😭😭😭😭

2 WEEKS?? AND HE STILL HASNT COME BACK shit the loneliness is really unbearable, the vibe of them all together is gone 😭 shit poor tae he is all alone, locked up and ik he isnt even counting days cuz he believes he deserves it 😭 is he hearing her?? i hope he does, at least he would get some comfort from her voice

LIKE THE PAIN IS REAL

Apparently the body of a Ripper grows weaker faster than that of a normal vampire. fuck thats so fucked up, forcing it on the vampire and not having an escape from this fate

I really said "pain is on the menu" when I cooked JJFASDJ

LORD SPOTIFY JUST PLAYED SUPER TUNA 😭😭 WRONG TIMING

lmaoao byeeee

why are they soo cutely awkward uwuw babies

hehehehehh they're so stoooopid

Now you are standing by the end of the stairs, just three steps higher than Jungkook. You are fumbling with the handrail, eyes racing over his soft features. Jungkook is grasping the railing tightly, rolling his lower lip between his teeth nervously. You think it is adorable how shy he still becomes sometimes. It gives him that beautiful sparkle in his big eyes. this moment would have been one of their pictures if this was a series

gah please this is so sweet!!! thaadasdafsafj

THEY KISSED YIPPEEE YIPEEEE YIPEEE 😻🤩😍💖✨🎇🎆

ME FR

Is that what his sweetheart back in the days got to experience when he was still human and his body wasn’t controlled by those awful urges to rip every living being into shreds? im gonna cry

i'll cry with you 😭😭

FUCK GRAVITY FOR MAKING THEM FALL but also thank you for giving that ✨falling✨moment

jsfjds me

Oh if only you knew how much this means to him. Oh if only you knew how many decades he went without kissing in such ways. Oh if only you knew how much he wanted to break into tears at this moment.  😭😭 istg i never wanted to kiss a male character this badly ever

OKAY I LOVE THIS ENERGY??? OMGMGM

“Please take me right here and now”, he pleads. IM LOSING MY SHIT gracefully??, like freefalling spotify is crazy for playing let me love you ne yo before this *plays it again

like no joke. he is actually so fucking hot

“Kook your cheeks”, oh no im getting worried

:-)

FUCK THIS IS TOO HOT YALL IM GOING TO SHAVE MY HEAD

:---)

OH HSIT OH NO NO NO KOOK PLS NOT NOW NO ONE IS HERE TO HELP YOU SWITCH BACK SHIT

:---------------)

[incarnateirony]

Yo Mount Pleasant, you may have turned off javascript to avoid one part of my countertrolling but you realize I can still see your insane amount of accesses right. And the rest of your details. right. ...Right? You. You realize that, right?

Your commitment of the sum of your life to trying to find a way to troll my blog is both impressive and secondhand embarrassing. I don't know why you expect me to be anything but flattered at reading your 112 listed accesses in the last few days. Broooooooo.

did it really take you motherfuckers a goddamn week to figure out to turn off javascript, and you STILL think you can come out with a win from this, what the genuine fuck.

m e d i c a t i o n

all this because Vinnie couldn't keep her retarded mouth shut about her blatant assumptions so you guys committed to spending a week getting dragged through the dirt face-down to prove... something.

Protip, if you're now violently clicking around your browser figuring out what ELSE to turn off so I can't see your shit, good luck, the internet itself will become nonfunctional to you when you do, which is a very hilarious length for yall to go to.

So for all of your hot nonsense the last week getting rickrolled on automation, has it occurred to you absolute inbred dumbfucks that you never had shit and got led down moron hill by queen retard yelling nonsense, or is the attempt to disprove that what is making yall persist while proven wrong time and again.

cuz lemme tell you "inbred dumbfucks that never had shit getting led down moron hill by queen retard yelling nonsense" just about sums up the entire fandom history of anyone dumb enough to believe a word from the evil incest cow.

We go back to Point A: Ignoring you dumb, useless motherfuckers that exist only to tax on world resources and use valuable air does not mean you are winning or tricking anyone, it just means you're underneath someone so fucking far it's comedy. And this is just on the whole "URURURURUR I USA DA PROXY" dipshittery. That says NOTHING about WHY you and your fandom noise are so below me, but I think your desperate attempt to disprove to YOURSELVES while I don't even say direct what it is for you to attack livelihoods with comes from that. Bro. Just get over it. You lost. You've lost this game. You've lost the battles. And you absolutely lost the war, now you're just shitting on the battlefield crying trying to find something to win by despositing turds everywhere. When will it sink in y o u l o s t e v e r y t h i n g. y o u a r e p o w e r l e s s. y o u d o n ' t m a t t e r. y o u a r e o u t c l a s s e d. These repurcussions are, in fact, entirely the fault of Vinnie and the retard incest gang's hostilities compiled on themselves for years, there is no coming back, thanks for the Reason to Stay and even the momentum you unwittingly gave us at times. COPE. JESUS CHRIST.

Yall truly condemned yourselves to losing everything to a trans gamer catboy who gave no fucks beyond wanting to piss you off. I never cared about your conventions. I never cared about your actor worship. I just cared about facts and change and you did not fucking comprehend what you were doing to yourselves for years.

I'm going back to writing the gay dragon porn I've been posting between writing this, while you all claw around trying to find some new way to pretend to have leverage.

I know your parents told you that you can do whatever you wanna do and be whatever you wanna be when you grow up but yall missed the memo that it comes by way of actually gaining skills. Googling proxies and trolling for years online aren't skills. They're wastes of your already pointless lives. You aren't communications majors, you aren't marketing managers, you aren't socmed keyholders, you aren't producers, you have no earthly tangible understanding of the corporate media world even in any fractal part much less the whole, you've never worked for a large studio, you all just rumor bullshit to each other off of google blurbs you're too illiterate and biased to really understand. Your capability in understanding media events is even lower than your understanding of the internet. It's time to accept that.

and before you try to console yourselves that you, idk, annoyed me or something, this is what my conversation looks like with my friends

Vinnie wants so bad to chase out the trans man but is so powerless she can't even do THAT because he walked out on his own after setting everything she loved on fire and hitting her in the face 20 times a day from other sources while they waste a literal week of life getting rickrolled, god FUCKING bless you, you dumb cunt. Chew on my messaging for all eternity now. I promise you don't have to stalk my blog to even see it!

Also no, coming from google doesn't fucking save you either lmfao

m o r o n s

dunning-kruger ass yeehaws

[suguruverse]

hi! idk if it’s being requested already or in the works but could i request being best friends with mattsun and makki?

— BEING BEST FRIENDS WITH MATTSUN AND MAKKI

authors note - hey yall.. long time no see. don’t expect me to come back yall i just wanted to clear my drafts a lil bit since this has been sitting in the drafts for like a year 🫣🫣

fem!reader

- lemme tell you this friendship hands down definitely has the most platonic flirting EVER

- AND THEY'RE SO BAD WITH IT AS WELL

- they unironically call you mamas or bae/baby girl

- but they are the best to have at parties and shit OH MY GOD

- they can tell with one look if you're uncomfortable and will be by your side immediately

- unlike the others, they actually encourage you to talk to other people

- but that doesn't mean that they won't wear terrible disguises while following you on dates

- you can bet your ass that they will throw it back on you every chance they get and they expect for you to catch it EVERYTIME

- they LIVE for making you flustered and purposefully try to make to mad

- they say stuff like "ohh you wanna kiss me so bad" or "oh yeah" bc yk hot boy shit

- nah bc you and mattsun definitely used to hate each other before makki locked you guys in a room together to talk things out and it resulted in you both HYSTERICALLY crying and hugging each other

- you guys have done the thing where you guys go out super dressed up and go to mcdonalds or something

- these stupid bitches pull your bra straps and let go when it snaps you, they think they’re so funny

- they also have no boundaries with you whatsoever for example they will walk into the bathroom while you’re showering and have a full blown conversation with you or walk in while you’re literally on the toilet

- they also say stuff like ‘how often do you shave your pubes?’ or ‘can you check if i have an ingrown hair on my ass’

- sometimes they purposefully dress down so you look extra sexy

- when olivia rodrigo's album came out, you guys all went to makki's place and definitely cried in each others arms

- for some reason they love commenting weird things under your posts like "let me be your best friends to lovers trope" "ur so hot pls be my sugar mommy" "i would hide a body for you" or "i've told my therapist about your ass"

- mattsun's bio on his twitter and instagram is literally "property of y/n"

- makki's bio is "y/n's sugar babie <3"

- PLS YOU ALL THIRST OVER IWAIZUMI TOGETHER AND HE'S SO SICK OF YALL

- also mattsun has a milf of a mother and she's the only reason you and makki come over

- MATTSUN SWEARS UNDERNEATH HIS BREATH AND IT'S SO HOT AHHH

- he also has intense road rage and it's hilarious bc he's the designated driver

- WHENEVER YOU GUYS FACETIME, THEY MAKE IT THEIR DUTY TO TAKE THE UGLIEST SCREENSHOTS OF YOU AND THEY THREATEN TO SEND IT TO IWAIZUMI WHENEVER YOU PISS THEM OFF BC THEY KNOW ABOUT YOUR FAT CRUSH ON HIM <//3

- okay so i feel like makki has obsessions with the most random anime characters and cries over them weekly

- HE IS AN UGLY CRIER AS WELL DO YOU FEEL SO BAD WHENEVER YOU LAUGH AT HIM CRYING

- they love going on wattpad and reading cringey smut stories and depending on how bored they are, they would have competitions on how well they can write their own

- on your birthday, makki sent you a link and it was a you x iwaizumi fanfic

- they love leaning on u for some reason???

- y’all definitely go to playgrounds at like 3 am just because and then just watch makki fly off the swings

- they very much have a ‘what’s yours is mine’ mentality like you cannot eat or own something without them taking it

- they unintentionally yet intentionally grab ur boobs </3 i’m sorry

[yoichichi]

HQ boys with a sick s/o HC

warning(s): none :)

a/n: my poor ❣️ anon is sick and these were inspired by our last convo, I hope you’re feeling better Angel 😭 please enjoy some hq dummies and how theyd treat a sick s/o :) <3

characters: Tsukishima, Hinata, Sugawara, Daichi, Noya, Aran, Kita, Bokuto, Kenma, Ushijima, & Aone

Tsukishima

He would act bothered at the fact you’re sick, cause of course you’re gonna ask your boyfriend for things - like any notes you might’ve missed that day. But judging how he just does your homework for you you’re pretty sure he’s not actually mad.

He’d also be bugging you about taking your medicine cause he needs you to get better fast so he isn’t “stuck bullying only Hinata”, he misses picking on you too and he says it’s funner in person

He’s kind of worried about getting sick himself so he wouldn’t see you in person much but you definitely notice how frequent he’s starting to call you, he even FaceTimed you while he was at the grocery store cause you weren’t there with him to pick out your snacks. (He knows your favs at this point, he just missed your company)

The moment you’re better and he has a chance to see you he’s a bit more physically affectionate than normal - not that either of you are complaining - he missed you very much :(

Daichi

His hearts in the right place - like he’s brought some cough drops and water and such and has this whole plan for you to get better but the moment you sneeze a little too hard he’s so :((((( and just wants to hold you and coddle you.

So he does exactly that.

It can be a bit overbearing at first cause he’s VERY adamant on you not doing thing, like he’s debating on whether or not you should even be allowed to walk to the bathroom and if he should be carrying you there instead.

Rather than catch you up on anything you missed (he’ll bother suga about it later) he’d prefers snuggling in and napping the day away with you and just hopes you’ll magically get better.

Hinata

The overly worried type who’s also somehow simultaneously oblivious.

He’s CONSTANTLY checking in like are you better yet? Can you stand? Have you been throwing up all day? Is your temp still too high?? Please call me if you need anything :((((

But then he comes over with his volleyball and is all raring to go on some walk with you cause he found this awesome little trail that has some cute clearing he thinks you’d love but he seems to have forgotten you’re kind of currently bedridden.

You tell him and almost feel bad cause you can see the disappointment on his face and the way his body kind of deflates, but then all of a sudden he’s cheering back up cause he realizes that means he gets to lay with you basically all day and love up on you (regardless of your protests telling him he’d get sick too - which he definitely does)

Sugawara

I hope you wanted some tough love :(

Don’t get me wrong, he’s all about taking care of his baby but don’t think you’re gonna be milking any extra pity out of him 😭

He’s bringing you all the right medicine and extra love and any snacks you need, but he’s also bringing any schoolwork you might be missing and he’s reminding you of those deadlines.

He makes up for it with the extra study guides he made you so you can understand the material easier, and the cute little drawings he puts in the margins to better explain the material

He feels awful for his sick baby but isn’t gonna let you fall behind <3

Noya

Really believes in the whole laughter is the best medicine type shit. He’d also be looking up all different kinds of ways to make you better if he felt like you weren’t having a speedy recovery AHSJSJAJS

“I don’t know babe I’m jus sayin, this here says that if you drink raw egg whites and vinegar it’s a good immune system boost and will cure your flu in, like, 15 minutes. It might be worth a shot!”

Baby boy just misses going on dates with you 😭

Also tends to go overboard sometimes with the movies - last time you were sick he brought a whole cardboard box full of random dvds he had lying around as well as a couple of home videos of him as a child ‘cause:

“I’m hilarious babe look at these!”

Aran

Literally one of the best boyfriends you could ask for in this situation are you joking? He never hovers too much but is always just a phone call away if you need some help or are just feeling too lonely :( KING of making soups are you joking (firm believer that warm foods are the best thing when you’re ill) he definitely texts you random things throughout the day like

“how’s my baby doing?”

Or

“u feeling ok enough for me to stop by later ?❤️”

Expect LOTS of forehead kisses too

Also tends to hold the back of his hands to your face a lot so he can check your temp throughout the day, a true caregiver :,(

Kita

Ok him and Aran are tied cause this man 😪

The moment he finds out you’re sick he’s gotta know what kind of bug you caught cause he will be bringing you medicine the moment he can and he needs to be sure he’s getting the right kind. Also the type to buy you some silly little card that his grandmother INSISTED on signing (she’s very worried about you) and who is he to say no to that.

He also would hate to admit this to you but he thinks you’re so cute when you’re sick 😭 it doesn’t matter if you’re hacking up yesterday’s lunch he’s like 🥺🤲🏼 my poor little baby

He also just really likes taking care of you, definitely fits into his love language and it just feels very domestic for him to be by your side and aiding you in any way you can, and this mf is the biggest fan of the domestic things in your relationship <3

Bokuto

Honestly a little excited cause he gets to spend some uninterrupted alone time with you

Like don’t get me wrong he’s sad your sick but he can’t help but think to himself omg I get to spend the whole day with my baby! Just me and them!

Really helpful though, like you almost forget you’re sick. He’s making you food if you can’t do it yourself and he’s making sure you’re taking your medicine at the right times all while just chilling and talking with you in between! You guys watch some awful movies and laugh at them and it almost feels like a good ol date night in with your boyfriend if your body wasn’t so fatigued and sore from being sick. But don’t worry, cause Bokuto is there and ready to rub those sore muscles at any given moment.

Kenma

He just kind of shows up? Unannounced?

He has a weeks worth of stuff packed as well as a game console and a sack full of games LMAO and he just sets them down and gives you a kiss on the forehead and just ,, starts,, unpacking. You have to ask him what he’s doing cause he’s just not saying anything.

“You’re sick, so I’m staying over to take care of you until you feel better, duh. Now which side of the bed do you prefer?”

This man is casually waiting on your every need like your thirsty? Lay tf down he’s getting it for you. Hungry? Funny, he already ordered in. You’re his mf princess and you’re sick so you will not be moving a muscle.

Ushijima

MASSAGES. Massages. And cuddles :(((

Big man Ushi comes over when he has the chance with some painkillers and his big warm arms. Most of the time he’s over you guys are just napping cause he wants to hold you! Cause you look so helpless and sick and of course you guys are laying down so you guys just kind of pass out.

Also a big check in texter to see if you’re feeling up for him to be over later that day.

If you are too worried about getting him sick he’ll stay home but he’ll be kind of grumpy about it. You’d get a random FaceTime from him just for him to move his phone away from his body enough to emphasize how empty his bed is 🙄

You cave and let him come over, and when he does he just huffs and crawls into bed with you like ☹️ c’mere

Aone

Omg the biggest worrier of all of them :((((

The one most likely to say he’s sick too so he can free any responsibilities of the day just so he can come take care of you in person. Something about the idea of you being home alone and sick with no one there to make sure you’re ok hurts his heart so bad.

He also would forget to let you know he’s coming over though, so when he comes into your apartment with his copy of the key and finds you under a heap of covers with a tissue box on your nightstand he’s quickly getting under the covers with you and pulling you into his chest.

You wake up an hour or two later to feel big warm arms embracing you and you know your sweet boyfriend came over just to check on you. And judging by his heavy breaths signaling he was asleep you knew he had to have been here for a while <3

———————

ugh it’s been too long since I’ve written for hq! I hope you guys enjoyed and I always love to hear your thoughts :) <3

requests are open

-🐇out

taglist: @plutowrites @sweet-darling91 (if you’d like to be added to hq, aot, mha, or a combination of those lemme know!)

[phoebehalliwell]

Ok but Paige and co are raising the baby of the evil enchantress & the prince would he absolutely hilarious!!!! Like they go back to the future and everyone’s like like 👀 ? Now what? Uhhh Paige you get to be a mom now and shes probs shrug and be like ? Cool :) probably just rolling with the punches!!!

Like imagine this kid finding out their origin many years later and being so confused because like is the enchantress technically her mom? Yes? Is Paige also technically her mom? Also yes? So she’s got two moms and a dad technically 😂

Her and Dency (or any sources heir kid if they exist) would get along swimmingly 😂😂😂

i think it would be a lot like in crazy ex girlfriend when heather was the surrogate mom where very early on she's like haha this is so cool and then like once she's like about to pop the hormones are flowing her feet are swollen to shit she's like aaaaaaaa holy fuck!!!! where i think paige would be like haha yeah. i can do this. i have a whole ass family now and sisters and stuff i can do this. and then you know the baby starts doing magical tricks and paige cries every time she sees a really cute dog and she's like uh oh. this one's gna be a doozy.

as for like halli growing up i think she’d just kinda be blissfully unaware of how weird her circumstance was growing up until about you know ae 5 she’s like what do you mean you weren’t raised in a big house with a mom two aunts and one uncle?? i think she’d like you know be aware of her story because paige would tell her the fairy tale all the time as a kid and then when she got slightly older would go no wait i think that was just a fairy tale and then when she got older still she’d be like okay mom cards on the table that fairy tale real or not and paige would be like oh no that’s 100% real and she’d just be like !!!

as for her relationship w dency i def think that’d be fun as hell i think halli would definitely have a weird relationship w the concept of “dad” bc like. well one she was kindaaa conceived thru rape which is just uncomfy i’m sure paige would try to wipe that from the narrative she told her but it’d def be recorded in the history books so she could find that out and then secondly no one really knows shit about the prince. we don’t even know his name. paige doesn’t really have any solid love interests until a lot later so it’s not like halli necessarily had a “dad”. like. it’s just weird. but we can assume the prince was essentially a magical amplifier and that’s why he was needed. but it’s so strange. and dency would be like haha yeah lemme let u on a little trade secret rite as the devil’s daughter who was essentially conceived through some really weird quasi-roofieing on the part of a seer and then my momma had to kill my dad you know how it goes and halli’s just like yeah, totally [does not know how it goes; what the fuck???] dency’s like yeah. point is. it doesn’t really matter. the biology, sure, it’s where you get your powers and shit but uh. it doesn’t really matter. what matter is who’s here, who loves you and all that. that’s about damn near the only thing that’s real you know. love. and halli’s like damn that’s p deep. and dency’s like my dad, not bio dad, the guy i call my dad, he’s a cupid. which i think only further proves my point. i also think the girlies could have some nice heart to hearts about the sins of the parents and the promises of destinies of darkness finally catching up to them you know dency’s foretold to rule the underworld, halli’s foretold to plunge the world into darkness, but all these gals wanna do is vibe. so i think they could have some nice conversations about that.

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Texts from the Lost Tomb part 6.1

🎶 Back on the bullshit I never got off🎶

Is this another unnecessary story arc?? With three sections??

Yes.

Wushanju Crew Chat

Wang Meng: You know, I’m someone who appreciates consistency in my day. My life is pleasant, very few issues indeed if you ignore the big ones. And yet. Yet here we are. With unresolved messes at the end of a day.

Wang Pangzi: SOMETHIN YOU NEED TO SAY MARY POPPINS

Wang Meng: We need to talk about Huo Daofu and the glittery bead curtain.

Wang Pangzi: MY FAVE TEEN WIZARD SERIES

Wu Xie: did you turn on that suggested word thingy lol

What glittery bead curtain

Wang Meng: I closed the shop at 6:00pm this evening on the dot. I locked all of the doors in and out of the shop very carefully, especially in light of recent events. The hall leading to the back office was empty. I filed the day’s paperwork, updated and sent emails, and then spent an extra hour organizing receipts and dusting. When I came back out, there were glittery iridescent bead curtains over the front entrance to the shop.

What could this mean?

Wu Xie: uh that you need to spend less time at work?

Wang Pangzi: LOOKS LIKE WE GOT ONE FOR THE DETECTIVES. THE MYSTERY OF THE BEDAZZLED THRESHOLD COMMENCES

Wu Xie: I think we can be relatively secure in thinking a glittery bead curtain isn’t a hostile threat

Wang Pangzi: SAYS YOU

I REMEMBER YE OLDE EXPLORATION TIMES HOW FAST THINGS GOT FURIOUS

BEANBAG CHAIRS SET AFLAME AND LEFT ON DOORSTEPS AS A WARNING

GLITTERBOMBS FOR DAYS

PANIC AT THE DISCO

Wang Meng: Ugh, forget it. I should have just taken them down, regardless of who they belong to.

Zhang Qiling: They are not mine.

Wang Pangzi: A BOLD STATEMENT COMING FROM OUR PRIME SUSPECT

SOMEONE QUICK GO DRAW CHALK AROUND THE DOORWAY TO MARK THE SCENE OF THE CRIME

Wang Meng: Do we know anyone who *would* sneak in and put those up? For whatever reason, legal or not? Even as a joke?

Wang Pangzi: ARE YOU SERIOUSLY ASKING WHETHER WE KNOW ANYONE WHO IS CHAOTIC, AN OUTLAW, A PRANKSTER AND/OR SNEAKS INTO PLACES

BECAUSE THAT WOULD MEAN OUR SUSPECT LIST IS LITERALLY EVERYONE WE KNOW EXCEPT FOR YOU.

Wu Xie: okay let’s think about this; for starters, I didn’t break into my own shop

Wang Meng: You would be in danger of doing some work in the process, that’s true.

Wang Pangzi: LOL

Wu Xie: ANYWAY let’s keep going. For example, Xiao Ge would only break in somewhere for a good reason. Xiao Ge, did you do this?

Zhang Qiling: No.

Wu Xie: okay who’s next

Wang Pangzi: YOU REALLY MISSED YOUR CALLING IN INTERROGATION TIANZHEN

REALLY PUT THE SCREWS TO HIM

IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE;)

Zhang Qiling: How can we be certain *you* didn’t do it?

Wang Meng: Admittedly that was my guess, too.

Wang Pangzi: WOW I SEE HOW IT IS

BLAME PANGZI AS USUAL

ANYWAY HOW DOES HUO DAOFU FIT INTO THIS

Wu Xie: Oh yeah him! Oops I got distracted

Wang Pangzi: UR ENTIRE HISTORY IN A NUTSHELL

Wu Xie: Ugh fuck off

Wang Meng what abt Huo Daofu??

Zhang Qiling: ?

Wu Xie: oh sorry xiaoge I didn’t realize you wouldn’t have spent much time around him last year

He and I go way back

Zhang Qiling: Way back where?

Babysitters Club Chat

Wang Pangzi: I CANNOT BELIEVE HE IS BUYING YOUR INNOCENT ACT

IF YOU EVER TURN TO EVIL WE ARE FUCKED

Zhang Qiling: ?

Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHO HUO DAOFU IS

YOU WERE EXTREMELY POLITE AND BORDERLINE FRIENDLY TOWARDS HIM

Zhang Qiling: I wanted him to feel welcome. I wanted to be sure he understands he has a place here. A specific place.

Wang Pangzi: FOR A SILENT GUY YOU ARE A MASTER AT SUBTLE POWER PLAYS IM ALL TINGLY

LMAO THE IDEA OF WU XIE LEAVING YOU FOR HUO DAOFU IS HILARIOUS AND ALSO NOPE

Zhang Qiling: Rationally, I understand that.

Main Chat

Wang Meng: Huo Daofu is coming for the weekend—didn’t Wu Xie tell you? Wu Xie asked me to check in a week ahead so we could start getting ready for his arrival

Wu Xie: oh yeah I did do that

Wang Meng: Fortunately I know you and so I already went ahead and took care of everything.

Re: the trip

He made a deal with Wu Xie’s doctor that he would do periodic checkups on him here at Wushanju

Bc Wu Xie hates being in the hospital

And frankly the hospital hates him too

Wang Pangzi: FAMILIARITY BREEDS CONTEMPT LOL

I FORGOT HUO DAOFU WAS DOING THAT

A VERY CHIVALROUS GESTURE

WOULDNT YOU SAY

XIOAGE

Zhang Qiling: Is it safe for him to be here with a criminal loose on the premises?

Wu Xie: Right, back to the curtain! Let’s focus on the curtain, hmm?

Wang Pangzi: I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS WEEKEND.

ALSO WE CAN RULE OUT XIAO BAI FOR THE CURTAIN SHE JUST SENT A SELFIE FROM NORWAY COVERED IN GREEN SLIME WITH ZERO CONTEXT, UR PROTEGE INDEED

Wu Xie: okay but who else would do something so oddly charming yet illegal and—wait.

Snake Eyes Chat

Wu Xie: hey, Glasses hasn’t been in touch lately right?

Li Cu: uh nope

Unless u count the outdated memes

Why, is money or Xie Yuchen missing

Or is this curtain related, I saw Wang Meng’s tweet

Wu Xie: haha no nothing to worry about really

(I mean maybe? but who knows)

Wang Meng is probably just getting a little paranoid in his old age

Li Cu: better than getting reckless and stupid as hell in ur old age

Wu Xie: …hey:(

Unknown Number: Li Cu, we discussed this.

Wu Xie: ????????

Li Cu: *sigh* fine, reckless and stupid as heck

Unknown Number: …close enough.

Wu Xie: EXCUSE who is that

Madame, Sir, Non-Binary Tree Spirit, etc—whomst the fuck

Are you

Li Cu is underage FYI

So Im staying on this chat

Li Cu: okay first of all, it’s not like that

Second of all I’m literally not underage I s2g

u threw the embarrassing surprise bday party, okay so u should remember

And C, that’s my counselor and I invited her. She wanted to meet u and I knew u wouldn’t agree to a visit so I added her to our chat

we have been discussing u

Wu Xie: Oh wow!!!!!!!

What a surprise:)

hi so nice to meet you:)

Main Chat:

Wu Xie: RED FUCKING ALERT

FUCK THE CURTAIN FUCK THE VISIT

IVE BEEN TRICKED INTO FAMILY THERAPY BY A SMUG TEENAGER WHO TEXTS UNKNOWN NUMBERS

Wang Meng: I assume that means something to someone here?

Not my problem? Good.

Wang Pangzi: AHAHAHA GOD I LOVE LI CU

HES LIKE ADORABLE KARMA FOR ALL THE SHIT YOUVE PUT ME THROUGH

IM RAISING HIS ALLOWANCE

Wu Xie: wait i give him an allowance

has he been collecting on two allowances??

Zhang Qiling: Three. I knew about both of yours.

Snake Eyes Chat

Wu Xie: so uh may I ask your name?

Unknown Number: you can call me Ms. Lee.

Now, if you’re comfortable talking in this format, why don’t you tell me how things have been going?

Wu Xie: oh everything is normal and fine and safe as usual, why do you ask:)

Li Cu: I heard about ur necklace thing. nice of you to NOT mention it.

another dangerous adventure. again. prick.

Ur lucky your cool boyfriend cares about you so much or you’d have already died like ten years ago

Wu Xie: lol try twenty years ago

Li Cu: That isn’t funny.

Unknown Number: …What?

Wu Xie: shit ur right, okay that was a bit glib, my apologies.

…I use humor as a coping mechanism?

Unknown Number: and Li Cu, how do you feel about that?

Li Cu: he doesn’t even know what that phrase means

He doesn’t cope, like ever

In fact

It’s kind of why we met

Which is a funny story in retrospect tbh

Wu Xie: haha what are you talking about sweetie hahaha need I remind you of certain anecdotes that could idk send me to jail maybe lmao

Unknown Number: …You know, perhaps an in-person meeting might be more effective?

Wu Xie: haha such a nice idea but why

Main Chat

Wu Xie: If I go to jail, I’ll have to create alliances for protection, right, that’s how it works on tv

Who do we know who spends time in jail

Other than Hei Yangjing, he’s only ever there for like 12 hours and i suspect he just gets himself arrested bc he enjoys the breaking out process

Also how’s the curtain case coming along

Zhang Qiling: Has someone threatened you?

Wu Xie: well not yet but soon I’m sure

Wang Pangzi: WHERE WAS THIS PARANOIA WHEN WE GOT TAKEN TO THE TEA HOUSE HUH

Snake Eyes Minus Your Fucking Therapist Chat

Li Cu: okay how tf did u pull off spy and undercover shit

u are sus as hell

Wu Xie: damn son is it pick on Wu Xie night

I missed the flyers or I would’ve invited my uncles

Also re: the curtain it’s been mostly solved

Li Cu: I’m not your son, idiot.

Wu Xie: …oh. Sorry, sorry, you’re right, bad choice of words, haha

Forget i said anything

Delete this chat even

Li Cu: shit I meant

Legally, biologically, I meant—

shit

…I turn into an asshole as a coping mechanism?

Wu Xie: oh that’s all okay! I have to go do something else now let me know if you need anything okay kid thanks!

Li Cu: goddamn it calm down who’s the kid here

lemme organize my thoughts so I can articulate my emotions fuckin healthily or w/e

Ugh maybe for like one afternoon we could go to Ms. Lee together? She knows how to word stuff

Wu Xie: uh…okay.

Li Cu: Anyway you don’t need to worry abt jail

As if you would survive prison for one day you’d piss off half the place in like an hour or less

I gave Ms. Lee the heavily edited version of the desert highway to hell roadtrip and i discussed it more in terms of like “nightmarish but still wouldn’t take any of it back”

Well maybe the sand

that shit was everywhere

Wu Xie: oh kiddo. It’s fine, really…You don’t have to explain yourself to me.

Li Cu: no, no it’s just

I do technically have a dad

who is an asshole. Being a son doesn’t really mean shit to me bc it sucked.

So you need to stop backing down just cuz ur guilty abt stuff. I’m really really glad ur not my dad in a good way. Do u get what I mean there

Where’s the mafia widower I followed into hell, huh

Wu Xie: Ur a good kid, despite my influence. I’m really glad you have someone to talk to after everything I…after everything. Wow this talking through feelings thing is kind of weird but nice ur right

Jfc no wonder it took me and xiaoge so long to—you know what, we won’t get into that

Li Cu: ew tmi

Also re: this week’s recent necklace fuckery

I moved my stuff here, I live here now

So you can’t die anymore

Or else…Idk I don’t have a threat planned

anyways abt the curtain

Wu Xie: oh my god, kid…kid you have no idea

I am in tears.

Li Cu: see this is why I can’t be nice to you I can sense the hallmark channel from here

Ugh don’t be sad in ur room that’s dumb

Go hug Pangzi or something

Maybe delete this chat

Or the curtain thing

Focus on the curtain thing

Just stfu and go away

Wu Xie: <3 screenshotting this <3

Li Cu: I take back everything I said. This is why Xiao Ge sleeps on the roof. I hope the ghosts of the Wangs put up that curtain to strangle you somehow. Go die in a stupid way, it’ll suit you.

Wu Xie: lol don’t worry I’m not gonna embarrass you with it or anything

Main Chat

Wu Xie: omg guys look how cute my kid is *sending screenshot*

Wang Pangzi: I MEAN

HE IS WISHING YOU DEATH

BUT SURE

CUTE I GUESS

Wu Xie: no but read the whole thing:):):)

Zhang Qiling: It is indeed very hard to remain angry with you. And you are welcome to join me on the roof.

Wang Pangzi: UH NOPE

NOT WHENI HAD TO BLEACH THE COUNTER IN THE KITCHEN

DONT TRAUMATIZE THE EARLY BIRDS THEYRE ALREADY FREAKED OUT BY U YA HOODIE CRYPTID

Wu Xie: ok true but babe ur like a sexy cryptid

Wang Meng: so, are we just accepting that there is a glittery curtain of unknown origin, and Huo Daofu is going to have to see it while he’s waiting for you at Wushanju bc you’re going to family therapy?

Wu Xie: right

Wang Pangzi: SHOULDA TAKEN EARLY RETIREMENT HUH

Wang Meng: I’m going to go dust something.

Unnamed Chat:

Unknown number: so the curtain…

Unknown number 2: yep, not my best work but I kinda panicked last minute u know

Unknown number: what is in the water at Wushanju that makes everyone dumb and attractive

Unknown number 2: relax they’ll figure it out

[actualbird]

me, scrolling thru ur blog for my daily regularly scheduled serotonin: wow a marluke update! gonna save that for myself as a treat

oh, what’s this ?

HOMESTUCK????

QUADRANTS?????

AND NOW YOU GOT ME THINKING ABOUT IF LUKE MIGHTVE PROJECTED A LITTTTLE TOO HARD ON HOMESTUCK CHARACTERS. WE KNOW HE WAS A SHERLOCK STAN, WHAT IF HE DOWNLOADED TUMBLR, DISCORD, ETC?

AND BY THAT SAME VEIN MARIUS IS PROBABLY OLD ENOUGH TO START HAVING UNADVISABLE FREE INTERNET ACCESS.

what if vyn and artem had tumblr blogs

look what you’ve done to me i’m in sheer pain

-🤡

HELLO, CLOWN!!! i cant remember if youve messaged before with this designated emoji but the clown after This Whole Ask made me cackle. i honk my clown nose along with you.

man, i KNOW luke was into fandoms. i KNOW he has discord, in fact i have an entire fic draft that has this whole fucking premise, it's titled "→ lukeonthebrightside just slid into the server."

lemme get the rest of it, heres the summary without any scene excerpts:

The year is 2021. Luke Pearce, fifteen years old, is told by the school guidance counselor that he needs more friends. Too shy to interact with his non-Ria classmates, he ends up going online and joining an ACD Sherlock Holmes fandom Discord server.

heres a scene i managed to scribble before i made 85 more tot wips:

thegeekery You can’t be serious. Please tell me you’re not serious. You Cannot be 15 years old, holy shit. How are you 15 years old and in a server for Arthur Conan Doyle Sherlock fans. The books. You're messing with us, you are not 15. lukeonthebrightside ? why would i lie about being fifteen? thegeekery To give us an ulcer, like you usually do? I mean this in the most loving way possible, btw. WaffleTime YEAH LMAO, TO PUNK US? it’s not out of character for u lol lukeonthebrightside [attachment.png] thegeekery Uh. WaffleTime BOY??? IS THAT YOUR FUCKING BIRTH CERTIFICATE???? OH MY GOD thegeekery Okay, no, hold up, real talk Luke, you should not. Be sending stuff like this. To a server full of strangers. Actually, can we get a @mod in here? I don’t think I have the EQ to handle this very well. lukeonthebrightside huh why did i do something wrong thegeekery Luke, that has your address on it. jeeperscreepers Give me a moment, I’m backreading. Oh, geez. Hm. lukeonthebrightside meet me in DMs please. WaffleTime ohhhhh somebodys in TROUBLEEEEEE

i got super emo about this wip actually, i wanna go back to it because i wanna explore luke's younger days before super spy training and terminal illness fucked with his head. i am convinced that even before those things, inside of luke, there was like...this want to be with people. and yet this fear that he doesnt deserve to be.

also i just want to write luke being a stupid kid doing stupid kid things on the internet and having a server of very protective fandom adults bonking him on the head and telling him to be safer online and also to be less hard on himself

irt to marius on the internet, i talk about that (and vyn being hilarious on twitter) in these posts!!: nxx boys on social media: part 1 tiktok. part 2 vyn on twitter.

i.....do not believe vyn would be on tumblr. if he did, you will have to give me some time to figure it out. artem, however, i have thought about and to me, it's possible he would have a tumblr.

actually, heres a secret: i was planning on making a STUPIDLY IN CHARACTER artem rp blog. like, not even styled as an rp blog. it's. it's Artem's Blog. the blog title would be "My Thoughts" and his bio is just "Hello. I hope you find this interesting." and his theme is the default theme and all he reblogs are movie reviews and recipes. nothing in the tags ever. and many long posts about his interests with linked and Chicago Manual Of Style cited sources. no pictures. he was born in 2001, the era of "dont even put ur name online."

im....still on the fence whether i wanna do that blog actually kJBSJDKFS IT WOULD BE SO FUNNY

in this entire response, i did not tackle how luke interacts with homestuck. because im saving this for another ask i have in my inbox, asking me what luke's classpect would be. and now i have to become a hermit in the mountains, studying the lore and theses on classpects, to come up with my view and opinion.

youre in pain, clown? i am too.

and ive come to enjoy it :')

[churchyardgrim]

TALES OF RAVENLOFT by various authors

[intro post]

hi! hello! it's been a while! the holidays happened, i lost most of my reading time for a bit, u know how it goes

but we got a short story collection this round! isn't that fun

there's uhhhhhh eighteen of em in here, only three of which are really worth reading. it's about par for the series honestly, a bell curve of mostly inoffensive and mildly interesting, with a few at the extremes of Very Fuckign Good and Don't Even Bother

in the middle of that bell curve we've got Three Good Reasons Not To Gamble In Sithicus, a rather sad story about a dude rescuing a baby from a banshee, and noted vampire hunter Rudolph van Richten's origin story, of all things. decent stuff, worth a read if you're in a forgiving mood.

on the Don't Even Bother side there's the usual dose of ableism and poor writing endemic to the series, with a disfigured hermit getting hunted by a headless horseman, something about a panther that got polymorphed into a man and then into a vampire? and some morality tale about how excessive judiciousness leads to a law system that revolves around amputations or some shit, idk

but, BUT, in a perfect microcosm of the Ravenloft series as a whole, there are a few gems that make the slog worth it.

the first of my two favorites is by Roger E. Moore, and concerns Lord Wilfred Godefroy, an utter bastard! i gotta say Mr Moore understood the assignment, this vignette is all about cycles on cycles on cycles, wheels of thought and action and the environment and its inhabitants forever returning to previous states

in short, the essence of a ghost story

the true horror here is an abusive, powerful man, and lemme tell you it is satisfying to watch the control he thinks he has slip away as he realizes just how trapped he is by his crimes. for once i won't spoil it, bc i think it's best if you see the shadow of the twist emerge in its own time, and trust me when i say it's worth it.

and i was all set to declare Godefroy's my favorite, but then i saw my good good friend P.N. Elrod listed down the line and knew in my bones that there'd be no contest

and because the publisher at the very least know what they have, the joy that is Ms Elrod is saved for the very back of the book, like your grandma's world-famous dessert pie that's the only reason half the family sat through the criminally dry turkey and Acceptable green bean casserole 

one of the many things i can never get enough of with Elrod's Strahd is how animals just fucken love the guy. bats swarm him like bluebirds to a disney princess! he's the favorite person of every wolf in twenty miles! it's adorable and precious and i want a full novel of nothing but this.

also it's never not hilarious watching him pretend to be his own lieutenant at people. i wonder if he disguises himself at all or if he just doesn't bother and relies on ppl not looking too closely at his own face stamped on the coins?

anyway in this delightful little tale The Devil Strahd, The Ancient, The Land, saves a little girl from a well in a burning town, complains about how hard it is for honest tyrants to run a country without bandit interference, and genuinely frolicks with some wolves

and, also… did you know that in older editions of dnd, the fireball spell had specific rules for how it behaved in space, expanding to fill enclosed spaces volumetrically instead of stopping short at a 20ft radius? you know, like real world explosions do?

and did you know what the fatality rate was for wizards who neglected to do the math on that particular property?

that fatality rate almost includes One (1) Strahd, in case you were wondering

if anyone feels inclined to track this one down with the intent of only reading the good ones, i'd be happy to give more detailed ratings/content warnings of the whole roster. but honestly, i'd recommend this collection even if the only thing you read is the last vignette, bc everyone needs to read about Strahd nearly blowing himself up on accident. it's good for the soul.

[gnar-slabdash]

a=4.09

- lmao i love the ones that start with referencing a job we don’t get to see what a good gimmick

- oh yep there it is it’s the convention center again! every time they’re pretending to be in an airport it’s actually the convention center. i’ve been to so many cons there lol.

- god it’s fucking hilarious to look at the convention center, i’ve been there in fucking costume lmao. dammit what would be extra funny is if i’d been in costume there AS NATE but i only ever did that in seattle not at any of the portland cons. I’m so mad I lost those pictures gfdi

- lol look my dog is passed the fuck out

-”I don’t suppose you travel with handcuffs” “Nope not on this trip” LOLLLLLL nice callback to the handcuffs/whip moment in that other episode.  

- FANSERVICE FTW

- Awwwww the bit where eliot uses star trek references is cute af

- OKAY LEMME ADDRESS THIS, cause I am the person who obvs needs to address this. I have seen peeps list the FtM joke in this ep as one of the times that Leverage fucked up. And I get why they see it that way but guess fucking what? I’m a trans man and I’m here to tell you that this reads to me like Exactly the way a legit, non-offensive trans joke should read. “Oh shit I have to pretend to be an FtM and make it feel like YOUR problem for misgendering me?” Fuck yeah that’s how a joke should actually work. I’m a hundred percent for this joke. From my pov it WORKS. 

-ooooookay and now here’s my least favorite fucking line. “we don’t like it when you drink but we trust you when you do.” what the fuck is that supposed to mean???? it doesn’t fucking mesh with anything else in the season or the show.awfjkl;fdsaj dislike. look none of the pathos about sam makes “you should have a drink” make any more fucking sense okay? it just doesn’t.

- Lol leverage airlines 1701 

- “I want him to know my name” lmaooooo

- God my neighbors can probably hear me fucking cackling WHOOPS

- lol the CincinatiMetropolitan Area that’s some bullshit ur at the Oregon Convention Center dumbasses :P

- God I wish I had the money for my Leverage Tatt. 

- Hey anybody out there watched enough of How To Get Away With Murder to tell me whether it’s worth watching all the seasons up to when FuckFace McGee joins the cast? Srsly will I actually enjoy the first three seasons? Should I watch it?

- Oh FUCK i hope my neighbors are too sober to know what I’m drinking rn.

- i can’t believe my wife just knew exactly when and why to call me. WHOOOPS.

- Episode 4.09 Neighbors. U wanna know what;s up? that;s the episode u turn to. Jesus jfucking christ is my life so in tune that ep. 409 is where i should tune to? 

- sorry this got a little bit tioo fucking real. 

[hopeless-deerie-fanfics]

MC who’s panic response when in danger is to say kinky shit (eg: harder) and the brother’s reactions

Masterlist and requests info as well as the fandoms I write for is the pinned post on my page, so go check it out if you like this! Had some fun with the prompt because hey why not XP

WARNINGS: NSFW, SWEARING, KINKS, MINOR SPOILERS PRE EP.10, MAJOR SPOILERS for pre ep.20 for Belphie’s one, so avoid that one if you arent there yet. Lemme kno what you think and enjoy!

LUCIFER

-          This poor man

-          He thought he could handle the human exchange student

-          Honestly so far things have been going quite well

-          And then he gets angry and you step in between to stop him from hurting his brothers

-          Part of him is impressed you even have the guts

-          But he is Very Angry and you should move if you don’t want to get hurt

-          He takes a step closer and grasps your neck, about to make a warning threat

-          When suddenly you just scream at the top of your lungs, fear wide in your eyes

-          “HARDER DADDY”

-          *Lucifer.EXE has stopped working*

-          You broke the poor man

-          Gobsmacked is the only word to describe the expression on his face

-          He’s so shocked that his anger dissipates and he turns back into his regular form

-          At which point you collapse to your knees heavy breathing

-          “fuck, fuck, um sorry, uh when I panic I just blurt out anything to try and throw people off and uh, well normally kinky stuff seems to work”

-          Lucifer just blinks

-          Then smirks

-          “Come to my room later tonight, a punishment is in order for distracting me from disciplining my idiot brother”

-          Your heart is pounding a mile a minute, face flushed, and from the look on Lucifer’s face he knows it

-          Yeah good luck looking him in the eye for a while without immediately remembering and getting super flustered

-          You did this to yourself hun

-          When you do go to see him that night you expect something hot, but he just sits you down for a two hour long lecture on ‘appropriate use of language’

-          Of course once he has drained all the excitement from you, just as he dismisses you, he runs a gloved finger across your jaw, tilting your face up to his, standing a little too close for comfort

-          “What darling, were you expecting something else when you came here?”

-          He’s smirking, and you’re melting under his gaze

-          He knows what he’s doing and is relishing in your squirms

-          Sadistic bastard

-          (but you love it)

MAMMON (read lucifer’s first)

-          By this point mammon has already sprinted off, half of him thanking his luck at getting away scot free, the other half completely bamboozled (and kinda turned on) at what you said to get Lucifer to stop

-          Of course the moment he sees you again he’ll burst out laughing

-          Now that his life isn’t in immediate danger he can process the humour and oh man

-          You really said THAT

-          To LUCIFER

-          And LIVED

-          Maybe he should try it next time he’s about to get strung up by his ankles

-          Nah it wouldn’t be worth the punishment plus his brothers would make sure he would never live it down

-          Would be hilarious though

-          But seriously, he’s pissing himself laughing

-          Internally though, he wants you to say that again, this time to him

-          And if you do?

-          Man oh man, he will melt into a pile of blushing spluttering mess

-          “H-Hey ya, ya can’t just go around sayin’ that stuff!”

-          *pause*

-          (under breath) “say it again, but louder”

-          “What was that mammon?”

-          “I-I said I GOTTA TAKE A SHOWER” *slams door as he runs away*

-          It won’t be long till he’s back beside you, honestly just use this method any time you want a 5 minute break

LEVIATHAN

-          Oh he was PISSED

-          You beat him at the *clearly RIGGED* quiz and he wasn’t having any of it

-          How could some measly normie possibly begin to understand the complexities of ‘The Tale Of The Seven Lords’ when you had only watched it for the first time last week and hadn’t even read the hundreds of manga that feed into the backstory!? What about the Extended Cut!? The Holiday Special!? The Japan Only Release of the secret episode where Henry gets possessed by an ancient cheese spirit and trapped in the fridge realm and the Lord of Corruption has to go and rescue him in a daring feat only ever seen by 17 pairs of eyes in stop-motion clay!?

-          Rage coursed through him, and now in his demon form he stepped closer, ready to strike

-          At least that was until…

-          *anime girl voice*

-          “CHOKE ME WITH YOUR TAIL ONII-CHAN”

-          …

-          Cue silence

-          You could hear a pin drop

-          Levi is BEET RED

-          Drops out of demon form and stares open mouthed, wide eyed at you

-          Asmo’s the first one to let out a snicker

-          Then Satan

-          Then Mammon

-          Levi’s panic response is ‘Retreat to the bathtub-bed’ so that’s what he does

-          Because Hoooooo he’s suddenly got a bulge in his pants and he *DOESN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT*

-          HOW did this stupid normie human NAIL Ruri-Chan’s voice from that one tentacle hentai he watched, had they seen it!?!? Were they secretly an Otaku like him!? Were they real life Ruri-Chan dressed up in a human costume!?!?

-          And how did they know one of his kinks-

-          HOW IS HE SUPPOSED TO PROCESS THIS INFORMATION!?!?

-          THAT IS NOT NORMIE BEHAVIOUR!!

-          He will avoid you till the end of time until you go to him and explain and apologise

-          But he will never see you in the same way again

-          And if you two end up getting physical at any point in the future he will use this to your advantage

-          Knowing what you like makes him feel more comfortable

-          Poor baby needs reassurance though

-          And you bet he’ll blush the whole time

SATAN (read Levi’s first)

-          He was actually snickering at Lucifer’s expression when you said …*that*… to Levi, because he has never seen the eldest look so shocked and appalled

-          Do it again human, keep going, drive Lucifer insane and let him watch

-          He was shocked initially of course, but quickly morphed it into pleasant surprise

-          And curiosity, if there’s one thing this man seeks out it’s knowledge

-          And in this case, knowledge of just how many things he can get you to say in Lucifer’s presence to infuriate and/or horrify him

-          He isn’t all that phased by what you said

-          But he will tease you about it

-          Only when Lucifer is around

-          He likes watching the irritation in his eyes as you stutter over your words

-          Or better yet when he Kabedons you to the wall and you yelp out an incoherently horny mish mash of words

-          That is until one day he does this and your words ignite something in him other than his usual supressed anger boiling deep beneath the surface

-          “M-MASTER MAKE ME BEG”

-          Well, if you didn’t know what he was into... you do now

-          His pupils immediately widen and there’s no missing it

-          Something about the way he moves closer to you screams predator cornering prey

-          He breathes and whispers softly against your neck

-          “Say that again”

-          You’re shell shocked

-          “u-um.. m-master-“

-          He nips at your earlobe he doesn’t care who’s watching

-          Of course Mammon walks in and screams as he throws himself between the two of you shrieking incoherently

-          But next time you’re alone, looking for a book in the library…

-          …

-          You and Satan may be a little, lets just say, preoccupied, with something other than books.

ASMODEUS

-          Need I say anything here

-          The only one who is 100% down with this straight off the bat

-          Not even phased in the slightest

-          “Oh, so that’s what you’re into huh~ hmmmm you have good taste” he practically purrs into your ear

-          He’s running his hands over your hips, tracing your neck with his tongue

-          The others have to tear him off of you but when they do he simply smiles and winks at you

-          “You know where to find me if you want to play out your fantasies sweetie~!”

-          If he catches you alone you know he will take that opportunity to do what ever it is you yelped out

-          And of course he will pry to try and figure out more things you’re into

-          Purposely make situations where you are more likely to blurt out yet another kink

-          If you do go to him?

-          Well, he’s the avatar of Lust for a reason

-          And you will come to know just what that entails

-          He will ensure you are completely satisfied, no leaving you all fired up and no place to go

-          Good luck ever sleeping alone again

-          Or ever sleeping again without him occupying your time and your bed first

-          You will be busy every night, and will need to learn to avoid secluded closets and quiet rooms alone with him if you don’t want to get railed in public

-          If there’s one thing Asmo appreciates, it’s Voyeurism

-          And if you get caught, don’t think he’ll be stopping any time soon

-          More likely than anything he’ll ask them to join if you’re comfortable with that

-          But the pampering and aftercare he provides is second to none

-          This man practically worships your body through sex

-          If you didn’t know he was once an angel, well, you do now

BEELZEBUB

-          Big beefy teddybear boi just wanted a midnight snack

-          But he found a midnight snacc instead

-          So he is shoulders deep in the fridge hunting for goods

-          You come in to get a glass of water not noticing he is there

-          So when he leans back, lapping up a full tub of custard pudding and swings the door of the fridge closed with a loud *thunk*

-          You whip round in shock and your brain decides to betray you

-          Or perhaps bless you, it really depends how you see it

-          “WHY DONT YOU EAT ME OUT LIKE THAT”

-          …

-          Wide eyes

-          Pupils dilated

-          A new hunger is present and the avatar of Gluttony won’t stop till he’s satisfied

-          He finished the pudding in a second flat and immediately made his way over to you, leaning close to your lips

-          But he hesitates

-          “Did you… mean that?”

-          He asks

-          He is hesitant but hopeful

-          Clearly trying very hard to resist the urge to not ask permission and just dig in

-          But he can see the blush on your face and tell that it was not something you meant to allow to slip out

-          And come on, who could resist his big round eyes gazing down at you

-          If you nod he’ll take it as enough of an answer

-          I hope you don’t mind some public action because this boy is far too focused to cart you back to his room

-          Up on the counter you go, legs spread, bottoms discarded

-          If you’re wearing a skirt it is pushed up

-          He licks up your thighs first before trying his meal

-          This… well, you will be there a good while, he just can’t seem to get enough

-          And once you have let him have a taste, the more he cannot have you, the more he will crave you till he’s begging you to let him try once again

-          The only way he’s stopping is if somebody interrupts you, and it will take a couple tries to actually pull him away

-          He’s a strong boy but he tries so hard to be gentle

-          And if you’re embarrassed he’ll take you to his room and tuck you in, taking the couch out of fear of crushing you unless you insist that it is absolutely, 100% ok to share

-          But if you do let him share…

-          Don’t be surprised if you wake up to him trying you for breakfast

-          It’ll be the only time he’s ever late to breakfast

-          Eventually somebody will come and find you two and once again, it will take a few tries to pull him away

-          But then he’ll give you a beaming smile like sunshine

-          “You’re delicious, let’s go get some more breakfast, huh?”

-          And lead you to the kitchen

-          Diavolo forbid you can ever again look at a kitchen counter without getting turned on

BELPHEGOR ( SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 20)

-          So, it’s not like it was a normal day to start with

-          What with, ya kno

-          Belphie breaking out from the attic

-          And going ape shit

-          And trying to kill you

-          So of course, in what could have been your final moments, your last words, the thing they would read at your funeral or put on your gravestone

-          Your brain really said ‘hm, how do I want to be remembered, as this very angry, vengeful demon stands over me ready to slaughter me?’

-          “IF YOU’RE GUNNA FUCK ME OVER AT LEAST MAKE ME COME FIRST”

-          …

-          Belphie doesn’t know if it’s the rush of emotions or the heat of the moment or the fact that those are the worst last words that have ever been conceived by a living being

-          But he just

-          BURSTS out laughing

-          Completely breaks

-          He’s on the floor

-          None of the brothers know what to do

-          One minute he’s about to kill you, the next you say… *THAT* and then his reaction is to start rolling around on the floor, tears streaming down his face, uncontrollably laughing so hard that he’s clutching his sides in pain

-          And what do you do?

-          What do you say?

-          “… wow I cant believe that worked”

-          Absolute fits

-          He can’t contain it

-          He manages to supress his laughter for a short while once he finds out about Lilith’s connection to you

-          But at this point he was already gunna keep you

-          He can’t bring himself to kill anyone who would voluntarily go out with those words, it would be WAY more fun to spectate such a lunatic, not to mention the abject horror across Lucifer’s face is more than enough to sate his hunger for revenge for enough time to process and calm himself down

-          But he’s not going to forget this, human

-          You just wait

-          …

-          3 days and you find out that he has teamed up with Mammon and made TSHIRTS

-          TSHIRTS that say what could have been your last words

-          Not only that, they’re selling them at Majolish and it’s a best seller

-          And he’s rubbing it in your face

-          Yeah

-          You will never live this down

-          At least he seems to be getting along with most of his brothers now

-          Who knew you being a horny idiot with no verbal filter would be the thing that saved your life?

-          Certainly not you

-          All of Devildom knows what you said

-          And you can bet Solomon bulk buys some t-shirts and sells them in the human world too

-          He’ll wear one until Simeon manages to pry it off of him, saying it’s inappropriate to wear around Luke

-          That won’t stop him from teasing you about it too though

[dolphin-enthusiast]

Sdc gang having a s/o that may or may not be a human-shaped cryptid/eldritch being. Im talking bout Dr. coomer levels. They try to take a pic of them it comes out blurry. Their eyes glow in the dark like animals. They’re oldly quiet always appearing and disappearing behind them. Always saying wacky things like “my powers grows” or “i feel normal”

I kin said s/o cryptids unite❤️

Jotaro:

- Fucking confused all the time but doesn’t dare question it since he’s seen some shit in his life. Like he probably met them during his journey with the other men and since then said s/o started following them (specifically him) around just because they were bored or something and even if Jotaro didn’t care about the eldritch being at first, it all changed once they actually started helping the gang out.

- For the most part however they’re pretty passive and quiet, not moving an inch and honestly?? Jotaro quite enjoys their company. Like literally the i d e a l s/o in his opinion. They aren’t overly loud, they’re just a bit unusual and also able to fight/scare people off. Besides, the few times they had spoken Jotaro found all of the subjects they brought up quite intriguing so??

- Will fight anyone that dares diss his lovely eldritch smokey matter glowing eyes s/o. And most importantly, will absolutely deck whoever dare to follow them around just to take pictures. Not only does Jotaro himself hate taking pictures, but the fact that his s/o sometimes attracts annoying people and they STILL can never manage to snap a legit picture of them due to their appearance getting all twisted and fucked up will forever be funny to Jotaro. Serves them right, in his opinion.

Kakyoin:

- Literal fucking fanboy. This man is absolutely o b s e s s e d with cryptic shit and totally believes that Mothman or Big Foot actually exist out there, so to have the utter HONOR of BEING together with a literal cryptid? Truly a dream come true. 

- Of course, that isn’t to say he dated them JUST because of that, but that’s merely a plus. A big fat plus. Kakyoin will constantly and enthusiastically ask s/o all kinds of questions about how it feels to be an eldritch creature, to which they would either stay silent or just gesticulate something, and Kak will instantly understand it anyway because these 2 have developed a strange yet intriguing and unique way of communicating. Like, most of the time they ain’t even talking.

- Tbh Kak himself has lowkey cryptid energy, every so often my man can be seen lurking around at 3 am and whenever you try snapping a pic of him the result is just a blurry greenish red spot. At this point these 2 would be known as “the cryptid couple”. Whenever Kak posts selfies on social media of him and s/o it’s always like a fucked up blurry image, kinda like those cursed image memes. And no one dares question it anyway, it’s entirely normal. Couple goals tbh.

Polnareff:

- The most excited goofball in the goddamn world, lemme tell you. Literally had no idea what a cryptid/eldritch being was before, he just knew the “basics” due to his bestie Kak being your local cryptid expert who’s actually a cryptid himself. That being said, he was KIND OF put off by s/o’s appearance at first thinking that they might be like an enemy stand or something, but that soon changed obviously.

- He soon learned that they were pretty harmless and also very chill, basically right up his alley. Hell, the eldritch being even let out a few (arguably odd sounding) chuckles at his dumb jokes, and that was a plus considering how dead silent they are usually. Tbh him and them are quite the polar opposites with Polnareff being a chaotically loud crackhead and his s/o being a literal eldritch monstrosity that can’t even properly appear in all of the selfies he takes with them on a daily basis. But does Pol mind it? NOT AT ALL.

- Alot of cute fucking picnic and park dates which are extremely ironic once you see the borderline hilarious dynamic between him and his s/o. However Pol couldn’t wish for anything else and the same goes for his cryptic s/o. After all, opposites attract. S/o mainly does the listening in the relationship and Pol does the talking, they balance eachother quite nicely. Besides, he kinda likes the entire teleporting thing anyway, it makes him feel safe even if he sometimes has the feeling of being...watched.

Joseph:

- Wasn’t phased in the slightest by their appearance. I mean, come on bro this man has seen SHIT in his life, like we’re talking about witnessing literal fitness aztec gods. Nothing ever shocks my man Joseph anymore. Besides, he ain’t the judgy type anyway.

- Was pretty open and intrigued by them and tried his best to get close to them, even if it was just a bit awkward once he started cracking his usual god awful jokes and the cryptid merely blinked back at him in confusion. Soon enough though these two SOMEHOW got together and it just...works? Like hell, Joseph one day decided to say fuck it and just ask them out since he thinks their form and overall being and behavior was strangely alluring and they said yes.

- Much like in Pol’s case, these 2 are complete opposites but that’s exactly why it works so well. Joseph will try his best to become cultured in the cryptid domain, even goin as far as to ask Kak about how to date cryptids and how to care of them, to which the man always eagerly complies. Joseph is extremely attentive and does his best to spoil them in adequate gifts (since he has this spoiling habit) especially since eldritch monstrosities don’t quite like the same things humans do.

Avdol:

- Second most excited after Kak because G O D D A M N . You can’t tell me this man ain’t a firm believer of the paranormal and cryptic creatures altogether, so to have a chance to meet and bond with one truly is through the best things that could have ever happened to him. The second he saw them appear one night as the gang was camping Avdol couldn’t maintain his excitement and felt as if he just HAD to know more about them.

- What he thought was just scientific curiosity soon turned into something entirely different as he actually interacted and TALKED to the eldritch being. He found their quiet and somehow shy nature extremely endearing and...was that a blush on their blurry cheeks? Soon enough the two began dating and no one questioned it at all. Hell, Kak even congratulated Avdol for getting such a lit unique s/o.

- Has tried to read their future countless of times but it never really worked due to their body constantly changing shape or just...being overall u n c l e a r. But s/o always tells him not to worry since their future is “uncertain” and that they’re omnipotent anyway. Furthermore, Avdol still has a somewhat lowkey scientific curiosity even when officially dating them and he WILL sometimes ask certain questions about their nature because he’s just...very eager to discover more about their kind yknow? But fret not for he has a deep respect for them and would literally burn whoever would ever try “ghost hunting” them or some other stupid shit like that.

[bangtansfavwriter]

💘bangtan as boyfriends: seokjin💘

-you know that feeling when you're wearing your fav sweater and you feel all cuddly, safe and secure? that's you with seokjin, only that you're now wearing his giant hoodies and he gushes about your sweater paws like every 30 mins

-super reliable and loyal, you don't ever have to doubt him in anyway except when he says he doesn't wanna eat a second bowl of cereal with you on sundays

you: whyyy, it's your favourite! you're seriously saying no to a second breakfast??

him: yeah but why'd you call it second breakfast? do I look like a hobbit to you?

you: (-just to be a lil shit-) yea

him: im breaking up with you

-he...... looks absolutely flawless after he wakes up and ur like..... how... you once caught him drooling during his sleep and pulled out the camera but just as you turned to him again you started to believe in divine intervention / black magic (whichever u prefer) bc he looked absolutely angelic and suddenly there was no sign of any drool and again, you're like ..... HOW

-this was also the day that started an on-going battle between you and jin, bc you tried to catch a bad picture of him which was pretty much a kamikaze task for you

(you know this bit from "how I met your mother"? it pretty much went like that, only that u finally got your bad pic when a friend's cockatoo flew too close to him and he started yelling, btw that was after 4 years of dating rip)

- lots of cooking dates where you start off preparing everything together and he's always like "no do it like this" , "ah lemme get this" and in the end he cooks for you, but does it happily bc he enjoys seeing you eating well

-very traditional dates imo but also fun, going for a walk together by the river, romantic dinner, amusement parks where you battle each other in every game

-ooo boy you two would be really competitive though when it comes to gaming and such

-the world has never seen air hockey players like you two, the passion, the anger, the yelling at each other where you two lowkey channel your inner maria sharapova (jk: hyung im scared, suga: me too, jimin: this is going to haunt me)

-also, he's not afraid to pull up with grand gestures when it comes to you and likes to spoil you tbh (but you're mostly like "isn't that... isn't that too much" and he's like "ok im gonna tone it down" and you guys have a spa weekend instead of flying to paris)

- very fun and spontaneous too so it's a good mix with him, it never ever gets boring

- he loves to go fishing so you two regularly go outdoors and either go to the sea together or he goes on his own while you chill in a nature resort and wait for him there

-talks a lot but also knows when to listen and mostly listens to you when you share your beliefs and such

-a gentleman: holds the door for you, helps you out of a car etc

-tried to learn the ukulele for you bc of your love for adventure time

-he actually picked it up so well that he surprised you with "la vie en rose" on the ukulele and serenaded you in your kitchen when you were making hot chocolate bc you couldn't sleep

-your personal hypeman at literally everything and very devoted to your happiness, ready to fight everyone who crosses you

-he feels at ease when he sees your smile, totally whipped for you tbh

- he loooves to show you off... you would accompany him to some events sometimes and he'd go "oh, have you met my partner?" - "there you go saying partner again..." - "yes, y/n, because they won't know if you're my partner in crime or if we're in love" - "lucky we're both" - "god i love you"

- you two would have so many inside jokes, sometimes to a point where outsiders would have no fkn clue what you're talking about

-he's on the brink of crying whenever you are in a soft mood and tell him how much you love him, like the one time you told him that you never thought there'd be so much to laugh and be happy about in life and he straight up started sobbing and pulled you into a tight hug

you: (laughingly) "cmon i didn't say that to make you cry"

jin: (still too emotional to talk, just clings to you)

you: did you know sloths sometimes mistake their own arms for branches and fall down because of that

(he went completely silent, then laughed his ass off for a solid minute)

jin: idk if I should laugh or cry, oh my god, this is terrible and hilarious and im going to hell, y/n

you'd just laugh along and then suddenly kiss him bc that you were so overwhelmed with love for him bc this was your favourite seokjin, a soft dork who laughs about inappropriate things and gets very very shy when you kiss him like that and needs some time to regain composure after that (-1 hour later, meeting with the guys- jk: hyung you ears are crimson red , jin: ...... *blushes at the mere thought*, nj: what's with jin-hyung?, jk: idk i may have broken him)

-what goes for jealousy.... you would never ever have to deal with that bc he trusts you 100% and you trust him the same amount, the only time he became somewhat "possessive" was when you guys went to an exhibition together and the curator became rather flirty with you, while jin was talking with the chairman, so unbeknownst to you, seokjin had an eye on you the entire time, saw that you were getting uncomfortable and then came to you and rested his hand on your lower back, shot the guy his most dashing smile and greeted him politely..... anyway, the guy got the hint and was gone like 20 seconds after

-he's a safe space for you tbh, and vice versa, being with you is grounding for him and he needs your touch to calm down when life gets too hectic

-he'd be at your doorstep a lot of times after he came back from the airport and these type of evenings would be rather quiet and full of cuddles and soft touches

-btw he would love helping you with renovations in your home and would pick up 1 unique piece for your flat whenever he was in a new city during their tour

-also, you guys would do so many trips to ikea tbh he would always find some occasion to go there even if it's just hot dogs or ice cream, btw I absolutely see this happening

-buys you succulents and says these are now your sons ("you let a cactus die, jin" - "that's why I leave them in your care while namjoon teaches me how to take care of them" - "you let namjoon teach you about plants?" - "I gotta be a good father, right?" - and right he was)

-tbh you'd tease him about his love for renovations and furniture but truth be told, he highkey envisions your future together and the whole thing is just his way of slowly building everything up until you get to the point the daydreams about, which would be a nice home with garden with self-grown tomatoes, a tiny pup and the smell of french toast on your lazy mornings together

[theshipscloset]

What games are you playing right now? Any recs? I've recently finished Hero-U Rogue to Redemption, and it was so good and funny and heartfelt. What are some of your favorite games?

*My PC is low end, so if yours is too no worries. All of these can be played on a fairly dated computer with no problem. I hope you like adventure games.

Gemini Rue is a pixel cyberpunk adventure game that has, I kid you not, one of the best sci fi stories I’ve ever seen. The shooting mechanic was a little irritating for me, but it hardly stopped me from from getting through the story. It starts a bit slow, iirc, but holy shit is there payoff. 10/10

Game Dev Tycoon was surprisingly addicting in that ‘okay lemme try it whups where did eight hours go’ kinda way. It also takes you through all the eras of game development from PC to Nintendo all the way through to the near future with PS5, and as someone who’s been following gaming and consoles their whole life it was lovely shot of nostalgia. 8/10

Night in the Woods is so story-based that it’s basically a visual novel, and one of the best ones I’ve ever played. The dialogue is lived in and natural, it’s relatable as all get out, and the mystery element is truly ?????????? right up until you get to the big reveals. It’s about time I replay this, actually. 9/10

Kentucky Route Zero is, uh, hard to define from a story standpoint. Like I can tell you it’s a highly atmospheric slow burn mystery, and that’s accurate, but it somehow feels weird to define it. It’s been released in five Acts over the past seven years, I haven’t even finished it yet, but there’s something so.....eerie and meaningful about it even when it drags. It kinda feels like a subdued Welcome to Night Vale. 8/10

Graveyard Keeper is a pixel, crafting, simulation, resource management bit of hilariousness that I only just started, but it became absolutely clear right off the bat that I was going to love this thing. Some poor sod gets nabbed from his contemporary life and thrown into a medieval-based world that’s like ‘welp you’re the gravekeeper now here’s a talking skull to tell you how to give an autopsy and also tidy up the place would you.’ It’s kinda like if Stardew Valley had a really twisted sense of humor. 9/10 

Kathy Rain is a pixel detective adventure game probably intended for a younger-ish audience but I enjoyed it just fine. The mystery was well-crafted, Kathy is a compelling protagonist, and the final area went harder than I was expecting (in a very good way). 7/10. (The game comes with voice acting. Mute it and you’ll be fine.)

The Darkside Detective is also a pixel detective adventure game definitely intended for a younger audience given the simplicity of the puzzles. I absolutely did not care. The world and dialogue and references and mysteries are too much fun. This game is just hilarious. I was SO happy to find out that the sequel comes out this year. (Hint: play all of the bonus cases.) 9/10

There are few others that I’m excited about but it’s too early for me to tell if they’ll keep up the greatness or not.

[nympsycho-ao3]

DID YOU SEE THAT NEW 6TARO/4TARO FIC BY STARBOYPLATINUM ON AO3 YET? Fuckin’ good shit right there gd

you know, i havent. this one? might not be the right one but this one intrigued me so here we are.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23973151

so i opened it up and read the tags and decided to liveblog my reaction to reading it here.

first reaction is “oh boy, piss” and then “Oh boy cockslut jotaro” and then...

curry udon sounds pretty good

i would pay so much money for daddy jotaro to do my laundry holy fucking shit

lemme google pocari sweat real quick. sweet it’s japanese gatorade

dr daddy kujo contact name i am WHEEZING

imagine whipping your cock out and pissing from your snake skin PANTS

oh my god he even shakes it to get the last drop off i love this so much. im not into piss sexually but this is absolutely hilarious to be and also hot what is going on

damn 6taro be hydrated

their dynamic is incredible. i like how it’s not acknowledged that they’re even the same person? so far? lol

dfw you see your daddy’s phat piss-dripping cock and you run to ur room and cuddle ur dolphin plushie that ur daddy bought u

he’s kissing it holy fucking christ he is KISSING the dolphin

....cetacean companion... is genius fucking writing....

he cummied on the cetacean companion

holy fuck kujo leaving the door open on purpose is so fucking funny and hot

hey jotaro i feel you i wouldnt want my stuffed animals watching me jerk it every time my daddy goes piss either

he owns a BAR is this gonna have... boozey sex.... omg... maybe... ill still be happy without it but thats big bonie and also lots of piss

DILFY SILVER FOX OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOO

you know i would totally go to this bar just to give this sexy man my money. he doesnt even need to make me a drink ill just slide him my debit and tell him to put whatever he wants on the tab.

“perfect fourty-two” lmao ok i totally fall victim to this too but 42 isnt like, silver fox territory. its so tempting to do with jotaro tho. maybe he goes grey early lmao. god he’s hot teasing like this all loud and shit god damn.

DADDY’S SPECIAL BABY BOOOOOY

phallic drink mixing is excelelnt and my boner is here for it i LOVE

yes please get jotaro on his knees some more... damn...

this is intensely arousing and incredibly well written. jesus christ the absolute smackdown that jotaro gets, trying to get an ounce of power, only for it to be taken back by the smug and sexy kujo is exhilarating.

oh my god is this the beginning of a piss fetish? is this is? is this who i am? im big bonie rock hard i want daddy kujo to piss in my mouth wtf

kujo literally pisses the ocean

love love love how the author acknowledges that a guy stopping mid stream is “herculean” but fuckiin writes him doing it ANYWAY the fucking balls... who cares its porn god bless kujo’s piss stopping abilities. taint of steel.

the dialogue in this is like, palpable

do any of you have any fucking idea how much money i would pay to have daddy kujo’s piss soaked precum-oozing cock slapped across my cheek??? like??? thank you starboyplatinum sm...

“you only call me that when you want something” what a hot and visceral line. this dialogue cannot be matched.

thank you for reminding me that he’s wearing snants

ARE YOU CRYING? I CANT TELL WITH MY PISS ALL OVER YOUR FACE????? OH MY GOD??? LINGUSITIC..... GENIUS this should be a lyric in a song

i cannot even handle this right now. jotaro steals his underwear im legit gonna nut to this

THERE IS A CAMERA. IN THE DOLPHIN. RED ALERT RED ALERT SOUND THE FUCKING SIRENS god thats so god. that crosses into yandere territory for me. imagine crazy-ass dilftaro giving you a stuffed dolphin so he can watch you jerk it oh my fgodd

oh it was a joke ahahhaa well, im not deleting that still good

HUMP HIS LEG HUMP HIS LEG YOU SILLY LITTLE BITCH COCKSLUT yes

step on my bladder and wring my piss out like a gogurt, daddy kujo

aw i like that he knows he wont hurt him. too much.

oh my god he’s making him go out like this holy fucking shit

hnnng the way he grabs his hand when he tries to wipe his face hnnng such an amazing detail/choice

that fucking authors not at the end is fucking real and really relarable. like holy shit this fic converted me im gonna make my man piss on my face fucking shit jesus christ

Easily one of my favorite reads in a very long time. Wow, this was just fucking filthy and amazing. i really loved everything about it and im surprised at that, I thought i would have to overlook the piss but now i embrace the piss. piss embracers unite. god bless you starboyplatinum holy fucking shit you magnificent word wizard, you.

[cecesenpai]

NCT Dream as Your Brothers.

Mark

• Older Brother

• MAD ANNOYING

• Throws parties when your parents are away.

• Always up in your business

• Thinks he's hilarious and tries to make your friends laugh whenever they're over.

• L O U D

• Constantly roasting each other

"Mark, do I look cute in this?"

"I don't have an opinion on what ugly people wear"

"You literally look like chicken little"

"Stfu, you gnome"

• But, and he'll never let you know, he scares anyone that's interested in you away because he doesn't think anyone is good enough for you.

"Yo, is your sister seeing anyone?"

"Oh no, bro. But I heard you were."

"What??"

"Yeah man, I heard you were seeing an early grave if you don't step off my little sister."

Renjun

• Older Brother (but you're like one inch taller than he is)

• Head locks for days

• Literally wakes you up 2 a.m. because he thinks there's a ghost in the house

"Get the fuck up. We're cleansing the house."

"Renjun, go back to bed. If this is like the water bottle thing, I'm going to tell Mom and Dad to send you to a loony bin"

"I SAW WHAT I SAW, HURRY AND GET THE SAGE"

• Will talk your ear off about conspiracy theories

• people constantly mistake you as the older one

• Is publicly overprotective

"Hey, your older sister is kinda a bitch"

"First of all, SHE'S THE YOUNGEST. Second, you have a 5 second head start, before my 5'7 ass, beats the shit out of you."

Jeno

• Older Brother

• Popular at school but at home he's such a werido

• All your friends have had a crush on him at some point.

• Always asks if you want to get/make him food

"Do you wanna get food?"

"No, I'm good"

".... Please get food with me? Please, my tummy is making the rumblies"

• Tell bad jokes that make you cringe

• Always there to give you good advice.

"Hey, don't stress too much over the little things. You got me right here for you and I'll help you out with whatever you need."

Haechan

• Little Brother

• HE'S THE BIGGEST BRAT

• Goes in your room without knocking

• Eats up the favoritism of being the youngest

• Rats you out for ANYTHING

"Did you just kiss that boy who walked you home?"

"Don't you dare tel--"

"MOM, SIS HAS A BOYFRIEND"

• Even though he's a brat, he still wants your love and attention

• Will spread rumors about people you don't like.

"Oh wait till my finsta spills the tea on this bitch"

Jaemin

• Twins (technically you're older by like a minute)

• Used to confused people about who was who when you were younger

• big video game nerd

"Again. PLAY ME AGAIN"

"Jaemin, last time we played Mario party 7, we didn't talk for 2 whole weeks."

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU'RE A SNAKE THAT STEALS WINDMILLS AT THE LAST SECOND"

• Y'all have that weird twin communication where you don't have to say anything to understand each other.

• Low key flirts with your friends

• Gossips till 3am

"And then I said wow you a real shady bitch, oops can't relate, HA."

Chenle

• Little Brother

• he's a child prodigy and super competitive about it

• Likes to sit in when you have friends over

"Chenle, can you go somewhere else?"

"This is the LIVING room, if I go anywhere else I'm going to die. How are you going to explain that to Mom and Dad, HMM"

• Low key is funny af

• So LOUD

• Always quick to defend you

"Mom, please stop yelling at Sis. She's trying really hard and you should see that"

Jisung

• Little Brother

• Very shy and sensitive

• Hids behind you when he's anxious

• You're extremely protective of him

"Who made fun of you for not talking? Tell me their name and address, I'm going fight this kid"

"Sis, stop. It's fine, I don't-"

"It's not fine for someone to make you feel bad about being yourself, Jisung. Lemme tech them some manners"

• Low key savage

• Clumsy bean

"Jisung, did you break another plate?"

"Please don't tell Mom. This is the second one this week. My hands are too big"

"Shouldn't that ensure a better grip though? Or did you slip up again?"

"No..."