#some point I’m sure lol

[emmyrosee]

Please don’t feel obligated to read, this is just a vent post (just getting things out into the air) so you can skip, or you can read, whatever you desire 🧡

But today I ran into a really bad demon from my past. It’s so crazy how I changed everything about me- my work field, my job, my self confidence to try and shake him away, and yet when I saw him, it was like I was taken right back to the same kid I was when I met him.

He was so cruel, and he was so mean, and it really just hurts how much I actually *havent* come when it comes to healing myself. I’m still the same dumbass back in high school who thought I could be something big. I can’t.

He didn’t say much, he’ll he didn’t initiate the conversation. But he smiled, nodded his head, and I just blurted out “we went to school together, didn’t we?” And he’s like, “yeah, I knew you looked mad familiar. Good to see you.”

Wish I could say the same. I wish I could just negate the torment and hatred and anxiety and disorders he put me through, along with his gaggle of friends who made it their mission to make me hate myself.

I thought I was doing so good. I thought I was moving on, I thought rebuilding myself was finally starting to take form, and here I was, at work, with my stupid fucking eyes filled with tears and my nails digging into my cuticles, bile rising up my throat, knees going weak and just frozen.

I hate him. I hate what him and his friends have done to me. I hate that I let him affect me like this, I hate that I had to change everything, every little damn thing about me to start to heal.

None of it matters. I’m back at the bottom. I feel like I didn’t heal at all, and it was a waste of my time.

[wtftaylr]

I love Companion Benny. I love the idea that he gets huffy-puffy and “just a little” jealous if you switch him out for another companion. He simply cannot cope with the fact that you’d toss him aside like yesterday’s trash for… what, some scribe in rags? A boring-ass first recon guy? A vaquero ghoul? (ok he thinks Raul is kinda cool actually but he won’t openly admit that)?? Benny has STORIES, baby. Interest. Intrigue. You wanna know all the juicy strip gossip? Guess what, you CANT now because you DISMISSED him. How DARE you.

Benny is VERSATILE, baby. His tagged skills are guns, melee, and unarmed. Good luck finding another companion that can do what he can. Yeah Craig “Frowns” Boone can headshot a cazador from a million yards away or whatever, *mumbling* show-off, he would’ve seen that cazador eventually *end mumbling* but Benny can shoot, stab, AND punch. Hey courier, watch this. I’m gonna punch the fuck out of this deathclaw. He does it (you gotta administer a few stimpaks) BUT HE DID IT. And he was only at half health. 400+ health honeybaby, Benny can take a few whacks from those deathclaw freaks. What was that? Showing off? Benny doesn’t have to show off, sugar plum. He’s just that good.

He also won’t complain that his feet are getting tired. Yeah he’ll complain about minor inconveniences and wants you to do something about them regardless if you realistically can or not, but at least he’ll walk miles upon miles in a day and not complain. He also won’t complain about going back to the Lucky 38. (he’ll just complain about not being able to get in there before the Courier showed up.) What, no one else complains about their feet hurting? Uhhhh BOOT-RIDERS. Silly name. But that’s how they rode the Mojave, dig? On their feet. He’s done this before. Experienced.

AND ANOTHER THING. how many companions shout words of encouragement during a fight. Go on. He’s waiting.

You’re doing great, baby! Show these punk losers what you got!!

I bet all the caps in Vegas you’ll miss that while getting shot to shit by the Fiends or whatever. Grumble. Benny hopes you come back in one piece, of course. He’d just rather see to it himself that you remain in one piece. Uhh BECAUSE HE’S JUST THAT GR-

(The courier left with their choice of companion hours ago. Swank is trying to work but Benny won’t stop gabbing his ear off. Dear god Benny just go be the Head of The Chairmen somewhere else. Swank is trying to do actual work here.)

[puppyeared]

I just skimmed through the art part of your blog and holy bajeebus your LMK art is so beautiful and the headcanon ideas you come up with are so good I wanna steal em-

Kinda wanna see like a part 2 of the little angst you did between MK and Macaque a while ago. It's so interesting and I wanna see Macaque's reaction in your art style. (You don't have to of course, it's just a suggestion [idk if i spelled that right])

Thanks for reading and hope you have a good day/night!

Hope this is to your liking ^^

Part one here

[friendlyneighbourhoodelf]

@codywanweek day 6: touch-starved

i’m really excited to share this, it’s very much the self-indulgent/write what you want to read fic. and i had fun (kind of weird codywan my beloved. i just think they’d be a little fucked up)

(to) kiss like real people do

rated M | word count 4,404

Cody pressed his hand against Obi-Wan’s neck, reaching further down, his thumb resting in the hollow of his throat. He shuddered desperately under the contact, wishing the hand could press further, beneath his skin into his very blood.

“Yes.” He was a little surprised when he managed the word, afraid that Cody’s hand would stop it escaping from his throat.

Cody’s other hand rested carefully on his bare shoulder and Obi-Wan wondered desperately and wildly if touch could burn. If, like this, Cody could truly remake him, shape him into a man that knew rather than remembered touch.

Obi-Wan is horribly and terribly in love with Cody. He dreams of closeness, even as it aches.

[batbabydamian]

Al Ghul enjoyer PKJ as writer and Rebirth Nightwing artist Javi Fernandez for the new Batman and Robin team…fascinating…

this new run is distinctly darker in tone just based on the summary alone, but i’m so curious how “a different way to help the world begins to present itself” could mean for Damian!!

[susielesbianism]

Idk why but I find it kinda funny when people lump UT/DR in with rpgmaker — especially horror — games. Like I get why they do it, they’re pixelated games and sometimes the vibes do get a little similar, especially with the scarier parts of the games but. First of all bestie these are GameMaker Studio games—

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

Those Beyond The Wall

sequel/companion to The Space Between Worlds, set a decade later

character-focused sci-fi set in an area divided in two, the rich protected city on one side and everyone else in the post-apocalyptic desert

follows a woman who works under the Emperor in Ashtown, keeping the peace

when mangled bodies start showing up with seemingly no murderer, she’s tasked with finding the cause, and finds out that it’s the result of corruption spanning both cities and multiple worlds

explores oppression and messy revolution, police violence and apartheid

bi & polyamorous MC

[lesbianaelwen]

thinking about how, in calamity, time and distance weigh on the narrative like how evandrin haunts it, but just like how evandrin isn’t dead—“the ritual didn’t work. what’s the most logical explanation?”—the docking into cathmoira every seven years is not the only way to see these family members. but the narrative is weaved in such a way that it isn’t until we’re in the thick of the finale, and people are vivisecting on teleportation pads and overcrowding airships and fleeing through portals in trees—and then patia teleports the orb and library, guaranteeing her end. loquacious turns down the offer to return through the gate. nydas does not leave on a ship or his dragon, and zerxus does not leave on tempest, and cerrit does not leave with his kids (although he does leave for them time and time again). it’s never even a choice for laerryn. and it all matters, and it truly was never an option to begin with—“we all go down with the ship”—but that’s not what I’m talking about.

there’s all these ways to get around, it’s the age of arcanum after all. if you can’t do it yourself, you surely know someone who can (for a fee or a favor, of course).

so, to follow to a logical explanation,

nydas never visited his brother, his family?

zerxus never went to see his son?

how many times do you think patia or laerryn offered to teleport for a visit? how many times did zerxus almost ask?

[atopvisenyashill]

on reflection the fact that we didn’t see laena claim vhagar, and now didn’t see the moment addam got on seasmoke either? kinda annoying me

[sammygender]

so many people can’t conceptualise emotional neglect as anything other than ‘my parents were cold and distant and never talked about feelings with me’, and this, while being just a general awful problem of course, is also what leads to so much john winchester mischaracterisation. in this essay i will

[theresthespark]

Armand and Louis are very twin flame coded to me. I don’t think they’re exactly that but they parallel each other in ways that are so fascinating. Both of them are very uncomfortable with their vampiric existence and spend a long time punishing themselves /restricting their true nature. They try to understand themselves through philosophy, indulge in religiousity and even interact with the human world for a sense of purpose (even though Armand would insist it’s just for cover).

I think that’s part of their obsession with Lestat—Lestat embodies the full embracing of being a vampire AND is joyful about it. It’s a bit harder to clock with a Armand bc he’s been a vampire so long and was still turned young enough that he never really lived a human life BUT he doesn’t really live in his vampiric life either. Louis clocks it at the end of 2x04: his roles have kept him from loving for himself.

That makes their paralleling arc of embracing their full power even more interesting. I think their relationship is really a catalyst for this. They kinda needed each other in order to step into this version of themselves bc with Lestat all both of them did was project their fantasies and fears of vampirism onto him. It was too easy to ‘Lestat Lestat Lestat’ around what embracing their own Lestat-ness would mean.

I also love how this arc of “stepping into your power” isn’t a beautiful process. It’s scary and violent and devastating because they are MONSTERS. It’s aggressively not all love and light. But denying their power is part of the mess they’re in to begin with. If Louis and Armand hadn’t met when they had and Louis could’ve easily become like Armand. He was awakening in Paris not bc of art but bc his internalized fear of himself was being reflected back at him for what it is: a prison. Them staying together ironically perpetuates that both ways.

And to clarify: Lestat is not the blueprint but there’s a reason they’re both so attached to him.

TLDR: Loumand are TWINNING (defamatory)

[akkivee]

idk if i ever got around to just commenting how strange it was that juto and rei swapped palettes in their bp outfits but it’s strange that they did lol and now we got juto straight up wearing his blazer the way rei wears his fur coat in the mtc album art

and now i’m really wondering if there was more to those duos in the block party lol

[honorthysalad]

The empty chair where Yoshiki’s dad would assumedly sit.

[silvercrow72]

What if…

[brothfan1997]

the problem with working a job where u interact with like 1500 people per day & u are supposed to be charming and informative the whole time is that sometimes you are so weird on accident?? and u say something that is so weird to say to another person out loud ?? and u just have to be like :) lets pretend that was normal. do you have any other questions

[zootopiathingz]

Is it normal for your brother in law to tell you that you have a “huge rack”?