#somehow i have yet to work the fact that he likes glee into a comic but rest assured i will. its like a dark cloud looming on the horizon

[rillette]

Do you have any head canons for adult/post-death Jason?

um um um (thinking really hard).

YES ACTUALLY i think he plays pickup soccer with street kids regularly as the Red Hood. this is why i drew a picture of him playing soccer that one time i was just too lazy to draw other people in the picture LOL. uhhh uhhh what else. ummmmm. God this is hard uhhhh.

OH YEAH i think he's aroace. I think that he should just fucking leave gotham with no warning and just move to connecticut or smth and become a woodworker or like a house flipper or smth. Serve HGTV realness etc. I also think that he's got at least one degree. Probably from like an online college but definitely he has at least one degree that he never tells anyone about unless they ask first.

HES ASTHMATIC I ALMOST FORGOT THAT ONE. MY MOST IMPORTANT HEADCANON HE HAS ASTHMA AND HE SMOKES.

also hes trans

[yanderecandystore]

Could you please do a fanfic for a male version of Yandere! Lady Dimitrescu (from Resident Evil Village game) with the reader.

I really like the Resident Evil franchise but I'm too lazy to know what the hell is happening in the older games XD I'm so sorry about that-

I loved watching playthroughs of Resident Evil Village (can't buy the game ;-;), but I felt like it was a bit empty, idk- I felt like the lords weren't really explored enough.

Also the Duke is the best husbando in the whole game- Fight me! >:3

TW/Tags: GN = Gender Neutral, I normally forget to properly name it when it's gender neutral, most of the time I just say "reader" // maybe ooc // lazy genderbent, I'm terrible with names // size difference // servant reader // mentions of gore/cuts/bruises/blood and deaths (and torture- I'm so sorry-) // reader gets hurt // mentions of vomiting

It's Dinner Already [Yandere!M!Dimitrescu x GN!Reader - Short Fanfiction]

It's dinner time already, unfortunately for you, of course.

It feels almost like a routine at this point- Which in a way, it is! You always take care of your tasks during the day, while dreading the inevitable time for dinner to arrive again.

Everyday, at this exact same hour, you and the other servants would prepare a meal for Lord Dimitrescu and his lovely… Sons…

As someone who has started "working" for their family only a month ago, you can positively say: Starving in the cold woods next to your village would have probably been a more merciful death than the ones you have witnessed at this place. You weren't as accustomed to such brutal executions at your village, actually you hardly even witnessed so much death, at least not so up close.

When you came here, you didn't expect to be instantly comforted and treated with respect- You were a commoner looking for an possibility to thrive in a noble's house, you were basically an easy target for any entitled selfish lord to easily belittle you and make you work for them until your hands would turn to dust. Yet nothing could have prepared you for such an odd situation.

Vampires. Monsters. Fiends if you were bold enough to insult them. You weren't exactly welcomed as much as you were snatched in and now forever trapped inside this castle. You can still hear their laughter… Their insane expressions of pure glee, the way they have bursted into maliciously laughing at your pain as you screamed for help trying to open up their door again and be free from that nightmare.

The chase didn't last even a second, they stabbed your legs with their scythes and brought you deeper inside this hellhole, as you cried your eyeballs out. The sons had brought you back inside so their father could take a look at the "intruder".

An absolute titan amongst the mortals. His height was only a sick reminder of how much power he had over the castle, over his sons, and now- Over you.

He may not have been as massive as he was threatening as you remind him to be, but at the time you were just in awe of his height considering you have never seen someone as tall and as mighty.

Then again- You have never seen vampires as well. Were they the same vampires as the books you've read as a kid? You weren't so sure of it…

You were hoping that if you begged for life and for forgiveness for having disturbed their peace, that they could spare you and let you go back to your village. Sadly enough, you commented on how you were only trying to look for a job as a servant.

You probably shouldn't have given them ideas, but it's too late to think about your mistakes now, however.

The sons begged to see your blood spilled, yet Lord Dimitrescu was merciful enough to grant you your "wish", as he said.

It has been a month ever since you were trapped inside and forced to work as a miserable little servant, and even if you didn't suffer the worst forms of punishments that they had in-store for you, you couldn't help but fantasize about just running away and never turning back.

You're so tired of this castle, of the smell of carnage, of the undeserved and over the top punishments, and especially of the people who would subjugate you to such things.

But at last, it's dinner time already, and you can't keep them waiting.

You feel your hands shaking as you walk out of the kitchen and into the dining room where the masters of the castle were so graciously waiting for you. You know what they're waiting for- But you can't let them distract you, for those that commit accidents are faced with fates worse than death.

Although you would rather do this process quickly, you can't afford mistakes to happen, so you take your time to set not only their meal in front of each one but to also pour "wine" into their glasses. You do all of this without looking directly into their eyes, only bowing down to each one and saying "excuse me"s in what they would call a "decent tone", as the smell of their disgusting beverage starts to irritate your nostrils. If you didn't know the main ingredient to Sanguis Virgins is, you probably wouldn't have this immense disgust over it, but right now just the thought of it makes you want to gag.

Only villains could so easily drink blood, and still make a living out of it.

Your internal thoughts of pure hatred against this whole situation almost completely blinded you to the fact that they were eerily, very quiet.

….

On most nights they would be talking with each other while occasionally making comments about you or your presence. Obviously they were all pretty nasty comments that they somehow expected you to back it up in some way or another, it's when they try to insert you into their conversation that makes you hate this occasion so badly, but it normally ends as quickly as it begins.

But as you are pouring wine to Lord's Dimitrescu, you notice that they haven't said a single thing while you were there. You stop what you're doing as you realize that they were silently observing you this whole time, and as you look into their expressions you come to think that maybe you have messed up-

Somehow, in some way or form, you may have messed up- And the fact this mistake could cost your head only agitates your already very worried mind.

….

A small moment of silence continues before the middle son, Cassandro, starts to chuckle in an almost innocent way- As if he was a kid who just said a bad word for the first time- And as he bursts into sudden laughter, Daniel leans towards Bello and loudly whispers:

"- I told you, they do this every time." To which Bello only replied with:

"- It's almost like hypnosis in a way."

The three sons were mesmerized by your ability to trap yourself in your own mind. They're probably aware that you do this as a defensive mechanism but they still find it comical in a weird way. You feel yourself get more tense as you look up at Lord Dimitrescu and see him staring back at you, with an unreadable expression across his face.

Before you could come up with an excuse to whatever you may have caused to disturb their dinner, the Lord himself spoke.

"- How inappropriate. As my sons, you three should know better than to laugh at our servant's airheaded mind-"

And as he said that, their smiles begin to disappear and be replaced with frowns and a bit of shame as they become stiff at their father's words.

"- And how inappropriate of you, too. To be so distracted in the presence of your masters, that's quite rude don't you think?"

But as he continued their bodies begin to relax once again as they realize he wasn't focusing on them- He was focusing on you.

Words have completely disappeared from your vocabulary as you start to think that maybe you won't be able to see another day after their meal is over. You try to mumble some possible responses before getting interrupted by him once again.

"- It's very rude, so very rude in fact that I think we deserve some answers. What were you so distracted about? What were you thinking that could have possibly taken over your small little head?"

Right now, he was sounding a bit condescending, thankfully not as angry as he would have been with the other servants right about now. Every little mistake was used as excuses for punishments- And if you were walking on thin ice before, right now you are one-step closer to breaking this entire lake and getting yourself killed by the freezing temperatures of the water below you.

Thanks to your luck (or maybe lack thereof, depending on how you see this) Daniel came to "your rescue" by coming up with an excuse for you.

"- Maybe they were hungry." He said without any indications of it being a joke or a lie- As the youngest yet craziest of the bunch, he always had that weird "naive yet dangerous" energy coming from him. He was naive enough to make that statement when it's very clear that you actually despise being near them, but he still was a son of Dimitrescu.

You know better than to underestimate any of these people.

The Lord didn't seem completely convinced as he side eyed Daniel who was blissfully eating his meal without acknowledging his dad's glance or his brother's looks of disapproval.

Without a warning you were pulled closer by your wrist and forced into sitting next to the Lord, who made a sign for another servant to bring you your food. This… Doesn't feel right at all, you're waiting for the worst to come yet you don't feel like you can ever prepare yourself enough for what they have in store.

"- M-My Lord- This isn't needed, I'm fine. I'll just continue my duties, if you can excuse me-" You plead, while trying to get up from your chair.

"- Oh but what host would I be if I didn't take better care of my guests? Poor thing, you must be starving if you can barely serve us wine-" And as his tone gets progressively more sarcastic and a bit louder, you can hear his sons snickering from the other side of the table, but you can't see them since you can't take your eyes away from him.

You're worried that if you look away for just one second, that you may not be able to see ever again.

"- It's so sad when one of our guests feels hungry- What's worse is when we are also very, very hungry."

"- Thirsty, even!"

"- Oh, I can feel my throat drying just at the thought of such misery!- Our dinner seems to be ruined."

You hear their whispers, you hear how they are clearly joking about this- How overly dramatic they're being over something so miniscule as you just- Ignoring them.

Let me remind you this is all because you refuse to look them in the eyes, that you refuse to give them any satisfaction for the heinous things they have done! You've seen so many people get hurt inside this castle only for their sick and twisted thirst and entertainment.

"- Indeed, my boys. My appetite is ruined, though dinner is not over yet-" Lord Dimitrescu spoke as he looked at his sons clearly enjoying your inevitable pain, but before he could continue he turns himself to you again, putting a hand on your arm and saying:

"- Wouldn't you agree?" Loud enough so that his sons could hear it, but soft enough to send the tiniest shivers down your spine.

"- …!"

"- No, no- Please, not again!-" He wouldn't dare do this, would he??

But before you could react he had already done it, you barely noticed how fast he had grabbed that knife to slice your wrist- His hand firmly gripping your arm as he made a deep enough cut so that your blood could be easier to access.

It somehow hurts just as badly as the first time his sons have stabbed your ankles and dragged you across the floor- At least you're not bumping into things like before, and even if it's a deep cut it's not as big as it could be if he used his claws to actually do this.

Oh, oh those claws- You almost thought he would use them on you… Those were something else. You can't remember exactly what happened, and why it happened, but you remember seeing him use those on another servant who may have crossed the line at some point.

Well "crossed the line"- More like "casually inconvenienced him". Lord Alcino may act like an incredibly high noble but he acts so childishly and in such an egotistical manner that you are surprised he can even have a castle like this in the first place! You don't remember what the servant has done to be so cruelly dismantled, but you don't doubt that it was for a stupid reason!

You miss that servant actually- Probably the only person who you actually talked with, and the first one to actually taught you how to do your job… You two could have been friends if he didn't intervene.

You briefly remember those moments before getting to experience the most weird sensation of all- Having your bloody cut be licked and sucked on. It hurts and it stings in a way that not only makes you want to cry but to also gag at the thought of you feeding this monster.

You refuse to look at him even in this scenario, you refuse to see him feeding off your blood… Sometimes you wish you were just as poisonous as some species of frogs, poisonous enough to make his mouth burn so he can experience a fraction of the pain he causes to others.

You tried fleeting away, you tried getting up and moving away but his grip on your arm only helped you in getting closer to him- You have your eyes closed as your only option is to cry and muffle your agony.

But as always, he is not satisfied with you just ignoring him. This was supposed to be a lesson, yet you're clearly avoiding your teacher as best as you can- But not today, little flower, you're not getting out of this so easily.

This is the first time he ever got to really taste your blood, as normally you would be behind the other servants while trying to learn how to please him, the only moments where he gets to see you is when it's dinner time, but oh- You're just so cruel!

Escaping inside your own little head while he has to content himself with just your image. Your presence is very much appreciated around this hour, little one-

He has noticed this before, of course, but it was only when he noticed his son's curiosity over the way you behave around them that made him organize this little trap. He didn't have everything planned actually, his plan only involved getting to this moment no matter what- And oh boy, has luck been on his side!

Your blood tastes better than expected of a commoner, your delicate and fearful whines of pain are just as delightful but what really gets him is this tough persona you try to convince everyone you have- You despise him, and it's clear to see why- But he knows his charms will probably work on you one way or the other.

He gripped your face trying to make sure you'll get to him in the eyes as he has a taste of you. Absolutely delicious, especially after you so gracefully "ruined" their dinner.

His sons were just watching as they continued to drink from their crimson glasses. They were just enjoying the show, as everything seems to easily amuse them- Their father was just showcasing how they were so much better than the common folk, and they have no other option but to take notes and to remember what they have to do if they ever feel ignored by the servants in the castle: Show who are the true masters of this place.

None of them were really interested in drinking from you, considering how all three seemed to recognize how their father has taken a liking towards you. No one would dare mess with their father's prey.

If you had enough strength in you, you would start vomiting as soon as this has started, but the more he takes from you the more you feel like you can barely stay conscious.

He wasn't supposed to take so much, at least not so soon- He wanted to just take a sip but he can't deny the fact he would rather drown himself in your blood than to let go.

He sighs, as he notices that you're slowly getting less and less aggressive, getting more and more tired as he drains you from this cut.

You're not unconscious yet, just barely stable enough to understand what's going on.

"- Sigh… Now that was a decent enough meal." He can't praise you for being tasty, can't have you being cocky around him.

"- Here, since I'm done here I'll take you to the servant's living quarters- And because I'm so kind I'll make sure that wound is safely secured and cleaned, so here- Come along now."

And as he stood up he offered you his hand so you could get up yourself, but you don't have enough energy to walk yourself to your room, thankfully you're already ready to go to bed and wish to never wake up again.

And as the nightmare never ends, he decides that if you are going to be difficult then you leave him no choice but to carry you there. How much has he taken from you?? Jesus, he should learn some self-control before doing this again- The absolute brute that he is.

Your vision may be a little screwed over because of the lack of red cells running through your body at the moment- But you have a weird feeling that you two aren't heading towards the servant's living quarters, as you feel like you two are quite literally going in the opposite direction.

Oh but it's fine- Right?

It'll be fine. Surely. After all, he already took what he wanted from you, and he doesn't seem to need more so- You probably won't have to worry about anything right now, dinner time is already over, you can finally relax now….

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

So I'm sick again- Sorry y'all, I just have a horrible immune system and I really don't understand what is wrong with me-

I'm sorry if you didn't like this boo :(

[yolkyeomie]

Improv Game | Yang Jeongin

summary — maybe following the script of what’s ahead isn’t for you and a little bit of improv is all you need to make it better

word count — 1.9k words

pairing — gender neutral!reader x jeongin (ft. x hyunjin)

genre — high school au, transmigration(?) au, fluff, cliff hanger

disclaimer — this is VERY loosely based off of series like Extraordinary You and the awfully popular reincarnation webtoons i’ve seen like… everywhere. I JUST NEEDED SUMN TO WRITE OKAY?

You strained a smile at the boy in front of you, rhythmically tapping your fingers on the desk in hopes that he’d pick up your annoyed undertone. Though to no avail did he notice. He simply took it as your way of attentively listening to him speak and that’s all he would ever take it as, he was rather oblivious after all. You couldn’t exactly blame him for this unfortunate trait of his but you couldn’t stand it either.

“Oh, Y/N, if you don’t mind me asking…,” the boy began, leaning back in his chair as he held onto the desk for support. His eyes wandered from the front of the classroom then to the classroom window where the cherry blossoms were on full display to finally your eyes.

You didn’t mean to make direct eye contact with him but he caught your gaze a lot quicker than you could look away. With a deep sigh you stretched your arms out before turning your genuine attention to him, “What’s up, Hyunjin? Go ahead and spit it out.”

He cleared his throat for the moment, his eyes darting away from your connected gazes before mumbling something out of his mouth. The boy glanced at you to see if you had heard him and when you showed no signs of understanding, he cleaned his throat again. “I said if you’re not busy any time like… I don’t know— tomorrow? If you wanted to hang out? Like go to the park or an arcade or—“

“—like a date?” You questioned, raising a brow in suspicion.

Hyunjin immediately started to crumble, his face flushing a beetroot red and his ears practically steaming from your words. “No, no! Not a date! I would like… never ask you on a date! Unless you want it to be a date…? I mean if you don’t think it’s a date then it’s not a date—!” The boy continued to ramble, nearly forgetting about your existence as he tried to cover himself.

You were in a very… odd situation to say the least. One day you had woken in a room that wasn’t yours, in a house that wasn’t yours, with friends you didn’t know, going to a school you never went to. Only one could imagine the amount of disarray you were in as you tried to traverse the day struggling to get from one place to another when you didn’t have a clue of what was exactly going on.

You thought, maybe if you just get through this day, everything will go back to normal when you wake up again? As if this was all some sort of… dream your mind had created in your slumber.

But alas, that was definitely not the case. You woke up the next day in the nearly same situation you were in before. And the same in the next day, and the day after that. Soon days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. You were still living throughout each day as if you had never really woken up in the unfamiliar at all.

The kicker? You had quickly caught onto the fact that you were within a book, maybe even a comic who knows, and were walking around as the main protagonist. Well, quickly isn’t the right word per say. A week went by as if everything was normal until you interacted with a teacher who had asked for you after school.

The conversation was as normal as any conversation with an adult would go until you looked above their head and saw words in bold quotation marks detailing words that hadn’t been spoken yet. Without thinking, you read them out loud and the teacher responded exactly to what you had read out. You didn’t think anything of it at first until the routine you had adapted yourself to suddenly changed to fit the words you had read to him.

The world was shaping around the detailed actions and words the story was instructing you to take. Sometimes it would be something simple like helping your teachers with their work and other times if quite literally instructing you to get hit with a soccer ball in the face. You didn’t want to follow through when things like the latter were given to you, but they would just happen whether you liked it or not.

Oh and your main love interest? It was Hyunjin. You’d think having someone fated to fall in love with you and vice versa would be interesting and exciting to you, but you weren’t feeling it all.

Don’t get it wrong, Hyunjin is a very nice kid. He’s tall and handsome with a sweet personality, but he just… wasn’t your type? So trying to get your “character” to fall in love with him was hard. Especially when whatever author that was scripting your interactions together made them happen extremely frequently and in rather annoying ways.

Not a day goes by where you can get some peace and quiet. Whenever you thought you’d be free, Hyunjin would always pop up to greet you or keep you company or even pull you to the next step of your growing relationship when you really didn’t want to.

It seemed like the date-that’s-not-really-a-date-but-it-totally-is was the next step into pushing you two closer to each other. It had to be, given the fact that the next sentence that was supposed to come out of your mouth had appeared over his stressed out figure.

You concealed a deep sigh as you placed your hand on his shoulder in an attempt to calm him down. The boy immediately stopped in his tracks, turning to face you with wide and curious eyes. You flashed him your best smile possible, “Yes, let’s make it a date.”

The boy nearly popped a vein, blinking rapidly and his cheeks growing warmer and warmer at your answer. “You… Do you really mean it? Like… this wouldn’t be just two friends hanging out— this will be a whole date?”

“Do you even know what the definition of a date is? Of course it’s a whole date!” You recited, watching Hyunjin’s eyes begin to glow and his smile stretching from ear to ear.

A small hum of satisfaction left his lips as he jumped up from his seat, struggling to contact his excitement. “Okay then! It’s… it’s a date?”

“It’s a date.”

“It’s a date!” He exclaimed, catching the attention of nearly the entire class. Luckily it was a free period so you didn’t have to worry about interrupting the class instruction but it was still embarrassing. You practically sunk in your seat and covered your face to the best of your ability as Hyunjin hopped about the room in glee. “Jeongin, Jeongin! You’ll never guess what happened to me!”

Your head immediately shot up upon hearing the name uttered from the boy’s lips, your eyes glued straight onto Hyunjin’s back. The boy was jumping up and down in the door and his back was blocking the view of whoever was in front of him, but you didn’t exactly mind. You simply waited for him to stop moving before finally spotting the familiar dimpled boy in front him, his pretty smile and excited eyes on the main love interest.

Jeongin, the main love interest’s best friend and the device used to move the plot forward, that’s exactly who he was. Minus the fact that you liked Jeongin a lot more than you liked Hyunjin.

Your body so desperately wanted to move on it’s own, your eyes following the boy’s every move as he expressed his delight for the boy’s accomplishments.

The mischievous glint in his eyes every time was mesmerizing, the pretty tone of voice he had was exhilarating, and his unique features almost made him too good to be true. Not to mention how genuinely funny he was without even trying, he was much more your speed than the gullible and kind Hyunjin that you were paired with.

Unfortunately, the story you were placed in would never let Jeongin think of you more than a friend. He just wasn’t scripted that way. While Hyunjin may love you unconditionally because that was his purpose, you didn’t find it as appealing as perhaps a reader or any other normal main protagonist would be.

Plus, you had no idea how exactly you’d be able to break free from the plotline of you and Hyunjin getting together nor did you know what would happen if you did. You had always followed the path that was in front of you without question, the possibility of getting to the end of the story and escaping the book you were in had been the only thing you were reaching for.

But if you strayed from that somehow and got with Jeongin against the author’s wishes, what exactly would that entail for you? Would you still be forced together with Hyunjin? Or would the author somehow eradicate Jeongin’s existence altogether?

Big bold quotes appeared over Jeongin and Hyunjin’s heads, your next scripted words to continue the plot blasted right in your face like flashing headlights. You read them silently to yourself for a moment, glancing from Hyunjin to Jeongin with a skeptical frown on your face.

I can’t wait for tomorrow, Hyunjin!

What a simple phrase to repeat, a normal response in the situation you were in. You and Hyunjin were fated to be with each other, destined to fall in love no matter what odds were against the two of you. But… you just weren’t feeling it honestly. Who would have guessed that the obstacles that stood in between you and Hyunjin becoming a couple was yourself, the main protagonist, after all?

With a deep breath, you stood up from your seat and flagged down Hyunjin and Jeongin to get their attention. Jeongin was the first to notice, catching your moving figure in the corner of his eye and hitting the boy’s shoulder to get his attention. Hyunjin turned around shortly after, his hair whipping in the wind and landing perfectly on his shoulders thanks to his typical love interest privileges.

He smiled at you, his wide and grand smile that should have made any person fall out in adoration. You raised your hand to wave at the boys as you spoke, “Hi… Jeongin.”

Hyunjin’s infatuated gaze fell into one of confusion, his face twisting as he looked back at the friend you had called out to.

Jeongin looked just as confused as Hyunjin, unsure of whether or not he could respond to you. Though it was a little too late to not answer now, you had already made eye contact with each other. Not responding would be seen as rude to his friend’s future partner after all. “Hi, Y/N” He replied, his words seemingly unscripted from what the original author had intended. Perhaps he wasn’t supposed to say a word to you in this scene but that didn’t matter now.

You had taken the first step into straying off the path that was laid out for you since you woke up in this book’s storyline, and now you were going to run for it. Run as fast as you can to change the story to what you wanted, a story where you can have Jeongin all for yourself, and not what the author had intended for you.

After all, you're not the protagonist that the author had intended to write. You are you’re own person with your own wants and desires, you were going to get what you wanted whether the author liked it or not.

[adiwriting]

Flash Fic Prompt: “For your request for prompts, I don’t know if you are interested in doing crossovers but what about Klaine and Malex. In 2020 they would be kinda close in age. As for the prompt, I was thinking of « I didn’t know you guys knew each other ». Their universes are very different so I understand if you are not interested in writing both pairs in the same story so you can just ignore me!”- @youdrathersleepalone

Rules: Write for 30 minutes uninterrupted. At the end of the 30 minutes, post whatever you come up with, unedited.

There is 100% no plot to this, but here! Have a Glee/Roswell crossover. 

****

Michael pushes his way to the bar and attempts to wave the bartender down. He’s not a fan of this place. He’s not a fan of any of the bars or clubs in NYC. None of them have the small town feel of The Wild Pony and he’s yet to find a bartender as good as DeLuca. But NYC is where they live now and this place let’s Alex play his music, so he guesses it’s not the worst place in the city. 

Alex and he moved out to NYC two years ago when Alex had retired from the Air Force and mentioned wanting a change. He wanted to really try his hand at music and Michael was feeling like he was finally ready to go back to school. Project Shepard was no longer a threat, Mr. Jones had been dealt with, and all of his siblings seemed content in their own lives. Nobody needed him to hold them together anymore, so he could finally focus on himself. 

Himself and Alex. 

They’d talked about Los Angeles, but California was really more Max and Liz’s scene. So Michael had toured campuses in Chicago, Denver, and New York. The deciding factor had been their first night in New York after touring NYU. Alex and he had ended up at this coffee shop that had a guy playing music and he’d actually let Alex come up to sing with him. Michael had seen a light in his eyes that he hadn’t seen since high school and he’d been sold. 

So here he is. In New York. Sharing a tiny studio apartment, paying way too much for his beers and bribing their landlady to let him grow vegetables on the roof because it’s the only bit of “land” they’ll ever get. It’s miserable but it’s somehow the happiest he’s ever been. 

“Hey, science nerd,” somebody practically yells into his ear. When he turns around, he sees Blaine Anderson, the boy he’d met last year while he was getting some volunteer hours in at the local school. 

“Comic nerd,” he says with a laugh.

“Here to crush anyone else’s dreams by pointing out the scientific inaccuracies of their favorite comic books?” he asks, pushing his way to the bar and getting the bartender's attention in no time. 

“How do you do that?” Michael grumbles. The bartenders always act like they can’t see him. Yet another reason to miss DeLuca. She isn’t snobby about her customers. She’ll serve anybody. Including racist Hank. Here, it always feels like he’s being tested for cool points and failing miserably. 

Blaine shrugs and hands Michael a beer. 

“For the record, you can’t be mad at me for teaching your students science. They asked, I gave them the facts,” he says. “It’s not my fault you hung up posters of superheroes that are scientifically impossible.” 

Blaine rolls his eyes but smiles. Michael has always liked him. They run into each other often enough to be friendly, and it’s one of the few people he’s met in this city that isn’t too pretentious. Michael had thought growing up with Max was bad… but this city is the worst. 

“What brings you here?” Blaine asks. 

Michael nods at the stage. “My boyfriend is playing tonight.” 

Blaine gives him a curious look. “Mine, too.” 

Michael does a double take. He could have sworn that Alex said they were the only band playing tonight. They’d been allowed a full set, which was a big deal for them. Except, he’s met everyone in Alex’s band. 

“Who’s your boyfriend?” he asks. 

“Kurt Hummel,” he replies. “Fiance actually.” 

“You’re Kurt’s fiance?” Michael asks, his eyes going wide. “That’s crazy.” 

“Wait a minute… Yeah, no that makes total sense. You’re Alex’s cowboy boyfriend!” 

“I stopped wearing the cowboy hat, people kept giving me shit for it,” he explains. 

“But held onto the belt buckle I see,” Blaine teases. 

“Hey, this city will have to tear this belt buckle from my cold dead hands,” he says. 

“Weird, I don’t seem to have a problem getting the belt off of you,” Alex says, coming up behind him to wrap his arms around him. 

Michael leans into the touch and hums happily as Alex kisses his neck in greeting. “I’m glad you made it,” he whispers so that only Michael can hear him. 

“The subway was a bitch today and my boss was extra salty about me taking off early, but I’m here,” he explains. 

He looks up to see that Kurt and Blaine are in a similar position. 

“I didn’t realize you two knew each other,” Kurt says. 

“Michael volunteered to do some science groups with my kids a few months back. Now we keep running into each other around town,” Blaine explains. 

“So you’re the cute music teacher Michael was talking about, making me jealous,” Alex says with a laugh. 

“Cute, am I?” Blaine teases. 

“I did not use the word cute once,” Michael argues. “I’m pretty sure my exact words were nerdy and annoying, but halfway decent at his job.” 

“A glowing letter of recommendation,” Alex teases. 

“We should get back there to warm up,” Kurt says. 

Alex turns to Michael who gives him a good luck kiss. “I’m glad you won’t have to watch alone.” 

“I’d be fine even if I did,” Michael says. “You know I just like watching you play.” 

Alex’s eyes go to Blaine then back to Michael like he wants to say something. 

“You’re not honestly jealous are you?” Michael scoffs. 

Alex shakes his head. “No, it’s just… it’s nice to see you have friends.” 

“You mean who aren’t my siblings, my ex, or dating my sibling?” he asks. 

“Exactly,” Alex says. “And I love your belt, don’t let anybody tease you about being a cowboy.” 

“Don’t worry, Isobel told me what to do next time somebody gives me shit. Just make a joke about riding their boyfriend,” he says with a smirk. 

Alex lets out a surprised laugh. “Yeah, that’ll probably work. But please don’t. Only person you get to ride is me.” 

“Promise,” he says. “As soon as you’re done kicking ass with your new set, we can go straight home and I can show you just how much you don’t have to worry about me riding anyone else. Ever.” 

[starlessskies94]

Consequence (Joel Miller x OC)

Summary: What if Joel survived his injuries from the Abby and Fireflies attack but ends up with really bad amnesia. He can’t remember his wife, Ellie, or the Outbreak; only before. How will his family bring back the man they once knew?

Pairing: Joel Miller x OC

Note: Sorry I'm a little late posting an update. After so much sadness, why don't we take a break? We need some cute happy moments...my babies are too sad. :( Here's a flashback that is well needed right now. I hope you enjoy it <3

Chapter Six

The sun had long since set, the night unusually calm and still after a morning spent travelling and walking through the Wyoming Museum that Joel had surprised the girls with for Ellie’s birthday.

It had been fun and Ada had enjoyed every second of it. That was until they’d been separated and Ellie had seen the dead Firefly and his messages of hate and anger towards the group after they’d been forced to disband.

Ada had always wondered what would become of them after Marlene’s death, she supposed now she had her answer.

They’d set up their tents for the night with a roaring campfire burning away in between them as the horses grazed contently not too far away. The older woman sat a small distance from the campsite by the water’s edge of the deep pool flooded into the forest beds. Brown eyes stare into the lazy river flowing through the fallen rocks and dead trees, filtering through the cracks into a string of waterfalls that beautifully reflected in the soft moonlight above.

She watches the water move, her mind completely quiet and undisturbed. It’s strange even now to still have quiet moments like this. She’s so used to running for her life, constantly vigilant for the sounds of nearby infected or potential threats that sometimes find their way through. But now she can relax, she can breathe and it’s glorious. There’s just that tiny nag in the corner of her mind. It tugs gently until she can no longer ignore it. She glances back to the tents, towards the young girl that is currently occupying her mind. Ellie sits quietly by the entrance of her tent, headphones in her ears, comic book on her lap as she idly flips through the pages. While Joel tends to the fire, poking and prodding here and there to keep it burning long enough for their supper to be cooked. She’d made sure to pack enough for the whole journey but Ellie had  chosen to catch a few fish for tonight’s meal, what with it being her birthday and all. And as the teen was quick to remind both her and Joel…repeatedly...

My birthday, my rules.

It was the first time she’d seen it in Ellie’s eyes but it had definitely been there and it terrified her. That doubt. For so long Ellie had taken Joel and Ada’s words as fact, she had never brought up the Fireflies or what had happened in the hospital after they’d left so quickly. After all, what reason would they have to lie?

Ada felt her chest tighten at the thought. What would she say if the girl started asking questions? What would Joel say? For the first time in over a year, she was starting to feel guilty for hiding the truth of what really happened. Maybe Ellie deserved to know, maybe they never should have lied in the first place.

But as she glanced back across at her daughter, the fear went away. She was a mother and it was her duty to protect her child. No matter how old she was. And while she may not have been Ellie’s biological mom, she was every bit a mother to the girl whether they were related by blood or not. She'd raised Ellie from being a few days old after her mother had passed. And she had done the best she could with what she had.

She’s was so lost in her own barrelling train of thoughts, that she doesn’t hear Joel approaching until he sat beside her.

“Hey you doing alright over here?” He asks.

“Yeah I’m fine.” She lies and Joel instantly knows that something is wrong, the concern evident on his face as he leans closer towards her.

“No you’re not. You're worrying.” He says gently. “It's Ellie ain’t it? You saw it too.”

She doesn’t even have to question what he’s talking about. They both saw the look on Ellie’s face when they forced their way into the abandoned building and found the girl stood alone in the dark, her light illuminating the Firefly sign and the dark letters painted below.

‘Liars’

In a way it felt as if the very message was speaking directly to them. For what else could they call themselves for the stories they had spun, for the protection of a girl that they both wanted to save? That they both loved.

Ada said nothing as she moved to rest her head on Joel’s shoulder, the man sighing deeply, lifting his arm to wrap around her waist, his own head then rested upon hers. They held each other close as they’d done so many times before, staring out at the glistering water before them. The soft lapping of the water danced by the edge with the breeze of the night’s air, carrying with it the melody of chirping crickets in the long grass under foot.

“What are we gonna do?” The brunette whispers into the silence settled between them.

“With how things are going; I say we do nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“She ain’t asked about it, reckon there’s no reason to go pulling at strings until it’s time.” Joel reasoned. And he was right, Ellie was happy. She was making friends back in Jackson, learning new skills and discovering new talents. It wasn’t until Tommy had gifted her with a journal for her birthday that she actually discovered she was a pretty damn good artist. She had a bed to sleep in every night, a family to come home to, just like she’d always wanted. It was the closest thing Joel and Ada could remember from before; that somewhat resembled a normal life.

They had structure, a reason to get up in the morning. And it felt good. Eventually they moved from the water. Walking hand in hand towards the fire and sitting together, while Ellie continued quietly in her own little bubble, reading her comic book.

They glanced at one another and in that instant that their eyes met, it was decided they would keep their secret for a little longer. Ellie was happy and that was what mattered to them. Nothing more needed to be discussed.

Joel moved to tend to the burning fire, checking over the fish as it cooked above the flames. Though Ada had to quickly take over when the man sent her a lost look at the state of the food. The older man was talented at a lot of things throughout his twenty years of survival but it was obvious that cooking was not one of them. A trait that Ada found rather endearing about him. To meet this confident, strong and stoic man; only to then find out that he struggled to cook a simple can of soup without somehow managing to burn it to the bottom of the pan.

Although it was considered rather old-fashioned, Ada still enjoyed looking after Joel. After everything he had done for her and Ellie, something as simple as cooking him a decent meal made her feel like she was giving something back. She’d tried teaching him in the early days they’d arrived in Jackson but it seemed it was a skill Joel just couldn’t pick up, no matter how often she attempted it. It was a small thing but it made her feel better knowing that; even if she couldn’t control anything regarding Joel’s safety when he left on patrols, at least he wasn’t going out with an empty stomach.

With the food done Ada quickly served the meal, splitting the fresh fish between herself, Joel and Ellie. Who, as a typical teenager, said nothing as she took the plate from her mother and disappeared back into her tent, comic book under her arm and headphones still blasting in her ears. The older woman merely smiled, taking her seat back at Joel’s side as the two ate in a comfortable silence.

When they’d finished Joel had offered to wash up, a credit to his Texas manners as he moved towards the stream to fetch water. He heated it through after grabbing a rag from his backpack and once again found his place at Ada’s side.

She watched him as he worked, a smile tugging at her lips. It had been almost two years since she’d met this man and she still wasn’t quite sure what she’d done to deserve him.

If she was honest she had never loved anyone the way she loved Joel. It was almost laughable how irritating they once found each other when they'd first met. Constantly arguing over plans, ideas and routes to take to get to their destination. She’d wanted so badly to get rid of this gloomy grump, confident in her own abilities that she could find her way with Ellie on her own. And yet now she couldn’t even fathom the idea of living without him.

“Hey.” She called gently, grabbing Joel’s attention as he glanced her way. “ I wanted to thank you, for all this. Everything you’ve done for Ellie. I think this is without a doubt the best birthday she’s ever had. Back in Boston I could never really do a lot for her. Couldn’t even get her a decent present with those damn ration cards.”

“You don’t gonna thank me Ada, reckon this was good for all of us.” He said, wringing out the rag as he finished the washing up, then hanging it dry. Ada shuffled on her behind, grabbing her legs to cross them underneath her and leaned back on her arms to gaze up at him.

“Yes I do, you didn’t have to do this. And that tape you found her...I mean she loves it Joel.” He smiled at her words, his eyes moving to find Ellie still sat alone with her Walkman.

“You do realise she’ll be listening to that on repeat for months right?” She laughed with him. His face lit up with joy, it was the same feeling he’d felt when he gave her the gift in the first place. The pure wonder and glee when she played it. He looked back to Ada and his heart leaped in his chest when he saw the love in her eyes.

“Well...you know, speaking of presents, I do actually have something else.” He teased with a mischievous grin widening across his face. He kneeled down beside the woman, rummaging through his bag then pulled out a small vinyl cover. Ada’s mouth agape in surprise as she took the album from Joel, a small gasp leaving her, her smile hid behind the hand that rested on her chin.

“Joel...I...how did you…” She uttered, completely at a loss for words. It was a Fleetwood Mac album, one of her favourites in fact. The man beside her lowered himself back down, his hazel eyes level with hers.

“You said they were your favourite growing up, cause of your mom and I found a music store before we left Jackson so I figured...you know…” He explained and Ada was touched by how considerate he was. How sweet. She’d told him the story of her mother listening to the band throughout her childhood and teen years, when they’d first started to soften to one another while travelling through Pittsburgh. But that had been months ago and yet he had remembered every detail. A fact that Ada was quick to point out to him, but he just smiled and shrugged.

“I guess I do listen more than you think.” He simply said. And damn if Ada didn’t fall in love with this man all over again.

“I love it, thank you.”

“You’re welcome darlin’.”

She still hadn’t said the actual words to him yet. Which, when she thought about it seemed so ridiculous. She put the album to the side, unfold her legs and tackled the man in a hug. A reaction Joel clearly hadn’t been expecting as the force of it left them both in a tangled mess on the forest floor. Ada landing on top of him, as he let out a muffled grunt as he met the ground with his back. His arms wrapping around her middle and holding her in place, while hers found themselves round his neck, her fingers brushing through his hair.

“I love you.” She said breathlessly, her eyes never leaving his. She saw his throat quiver as he swallowed hard, his face softened as his calloused fingers caressed against her face. A gentle touch but one that still made her feel warm and giddy. He brushed her hair from her eyes, sweeping the brown locks behind her ear and smiled lovingly.

“I love you too.” He replied. The words said for the first time between them. He moved forward to kiss her, eyes sliding close, noses touching as they leaned closer.

“Oh come on guys!! Seriously?! Fucking gross!” Ellie bellowed, instantly killing the mood as Joel groaned letting his head fall back against the floor, his arms releasing Ada as she quickly scuffled from him and back to her feet. Hand reaching out to help Joel up.

Both adults stepped away from the other, attempting to put the distance between them as Ellie stared them down with a raised eyebrow.

“And on my fucking birthday, what are you trying to scar me for life or something?” She joked. But Ada and Joel were far too embarrassed to see the funny side. The girl continued with a deep chuckle, her tongue sticking out as she gagged and pulled faces at the whole thing.

“Oh man that image is gonna be stuck in my brain forever!” She groaned. “Get out! Get out” She whined tapping her head with her small fist as she squeezed her eyes closed. Turning on her heel and retreating back towards her tent.

Joel awkwardly cleared his throat when the girl had gone, looking anywhere and everywhere except towards Ada. The woman doing the same, her stomach fluttering and cheeks hot from endless blushing.

“Well that was uhhh...unexpected.” The man mumbled. Ada just laughed as she felt the tension melt away between them as Ellie shouted at the two to go to bed and jokingly threatened to ground them if they didn’t behave. Joel just shook his head at the girl and smiled at his love as they called it a night and headed towards their tent. Ellie watched them go and readied herself for first watch, taking the risk to glance through the tent door and seeing Joel and Ada had already fallen asleep. She'd never tell them but it was actually kinda cute when they cuddled up to each other. She was glad they were happy. It was nice.

Yeah  Ellie thought to herself as she settled in for the night.

Best. Birthday. Ever.

[buffyversefanfiction]

Slayer of Slayers

Warnings:I do not own, nor do I claim to own any of the copyright or characters within the Buffyverse which includes but not limited to the television shows Buffy and Angel, as well as the Darkhorse comics series’ continuation.

15+ Strong to moderate violence, Graphic to mild descriptions of gore, and torture, sexually charged scenes, sexual innuendos, mild to strong language, and practices of witchcraft.

M/M, F/F, M/F, GEN, OTHER +

PART THREE LINK HERE

Part Five - Buffy's Boy

Los Angeles, California, roughly one year ago.

Faith Lehane found herself running frantically through the badly lit underground sewer tunnels, her feet drenched by the sewer water as she held a new-born baby boy in her arms, Buffy Summers’s baby boy, wrapped up warmly in blankets as she rushed around a corner to find Willow Rosenberg stood there casting some spell in a language she did not understand as a large blue colored portal appeared from out of thin air, their way out of the sewers, and away from what they were running from. “Willow if we wait for us all to get through this portal of yours then those bastards are just going to follow us, we got to stop them following us somehow.” Faith told the redheaded witch, as she continued to hold Buffy’s child in her arms, fearing for the baby boy’s life, fearing they were not enough to protect him. “I’m going through first and I’ll place him somewhere safe then come back to help lighten the load here before we get Buffy through and only Buffy,” Willow replied to Faith as she took the baby boy out of Faith’s hands and into her embrace. “Then we keep the fight going for as long as we can, I’ve made it so we will not remember where they go so, they cannot find some magic way of getting it out of me but I’m sure Buffy will find some way to get in touch when things are less apocalyptic.” “You do you, Will.” Faith responded as Willow walked into the portal with the baby, before the slayer pulled out a wooden stake from her jacket pocket, as she heard fighting, weapons, and death, growing closer and closer. Elsewhere, Willow appeared in an alleyway in the middle of a dead night, knowing the baby and his mother would be safe in a past where the child had not even been born yet, as she looked for a nearby doorway to safely place the child just long enough for Buffy to find him once they got her through the portal too. “I’m sure not going to win any aunt awards anytime soon for dumping you in a dark alleyway like some awful woman, but I promise your mum will be right here and you will finally get to live a happy safe life without all these mean old monsters,” Willow told the baby as she gently placed him on the doorstep, not wanting to leave him but knowing that she had no other choice. The once sleeping baby began crying as if he knew he was being abandoned somehow, but Willow had no choice but to ignore his cries for attention as she ran back through the portal ready to help her friends survive a battle against hell itself and help Buffy reunite with her son. As she returned to through the portal and back into the underground sewers, she returned to see Buffy and Faith fighting side by side against vampires, demons, and all different kinds of creatures, all wanting Buffy’s child, and so she quickly summoned sunlight ball in between her hands before letting it loose on the warring crowd, instantly turning all vampires there to dust, giving the three of them the upper hand as they continued their battle. “Willow, the portal, where the hell did it go?” Buffy shouted at her friend as she broke through the crowd of monsters to find the portal, she was meant to go through was already gone. “Willow! My son…he’s gone.” And just like that, the portal, along with any chance of reuniting with her new-born child, had completely disappeared during a battle against evil, leaving Buffy truly devastated by the loss of her son, as she struggled to take in the shock of it all, the weight of what she had just lost, Buffy just stood there speechless… “It’s okay Buffy it will be okay Willow’s going to find some way of getting him back or re-opening the portal so you can go to him.” Faith said, attempting to reassure Buffy, as she, Buffy, and Willow now stood looking at a brick wall within the underground sewer tunnels with nothing around them except the corpses of creatures that did not turn to dust, bust into flames, or explode. “There’s no way of opening the correct portal not knowing where that portal even led to, I mean I can still feel the magic from the portal having closed so maybe I can try hijack that magic somehow and magically crowbar

it back open,” Willow responded with a saddened sigh, somehow knowing in her gut her plan would not work. “We will get him back Buffy!” Faith repeated as Buffy continued to stand there speechless with a look of pure heartbreak on her face and tears forming in her eyes, never seeing her fellow slayer as defeated as she was in that moment. “Maybe I could try a locating spell, but I’d have to that in several different dimensions if he is not in this one which I doubt we would have gone to all this effort to just teleport him halfway around the world.” Willow tried suggesting, but as she spoke, she realized that it too would not work. Many minutes passed as the three women stayed standing in the same place, staring at a brick wall which once had a portal there, Faith having given up her little words of encouragement and Willow having run out of ideas on how to find Buffy’s child, as Buffy realized, she had become a mother and lost her child within a handful of days. “Wherever he is now I can only hope he’s safer there than he ever was here.” Buffy finally spoke as she used her sleeve to wipe away her tears, attempting and failing to pull herself together as she realized, she may never see her son again. “This must have been what Angel went through with Connor…we can’t let him have to feel this pain all over again!” “B we will find a way to get him back!” Faith repeated herself one final time. “Stop saying that you do not know that and even if we do, he might not even be the same baby boy he was just moments ago…he’s gone…my baby’s gone!” Buffy snapped at Faith before she began breaking down and sobbing, falling to her knees, not caring about being covered in the sewerage water. “I was a fool to think I could ever be a mother while still being a slayer, we were fools to think we could protect him and still have him in our lives…he’s going to grow up in a strange world not knowing that I’d have done anything for him, that all I wanted was for him to be safe.” “I am so sorry Buffy I really thought this would have worked.” Willow cried as she knelt to hug her sobbing friend, knowing her apologies would not lessen her pain as she continued to hold her tighter and tighter, just being there was all she could do for her now.

Los Angeles, California, the early 2000s.

After having just escaped being burned alive at the hands of their beloved Angel, hurt and defeated Drusilla and Darla were walking through the streets of Los Angeles attempting to figure out their next move as they finally decided to give up on the idea of ever getting Angelus back when suddenly Drusilla came to a stop, confusing Darla in the process, as her fellow vampire began walking down a nearby alleyway, to which Darla quickly followed, wondering what her deranged fanged friend was up to now if she had seen another one of her visions or if she had just gone completely mad like she was ever not, and she followed her, Darla was left delighted by the sight of a new-born baby left on a nearby doorstep but as Darla proceed to walk towards it she was shocked Drusilla pulled out her arm to stop her. “No mummy this little baby is far too important to wind up as just one of our snacks,” Drusilla stated, denying a frustrated Darla her want for the innocent child’s blood. “I see a very powerful darkness within him, a bitterness which will only ripen as he grows up, and all the fabulous chaos he will inflict on this world.” “As good as all that sounds honey I’m hungry now!” Darla replied, not fully believing Drusilla’s latest prediction. “Silly mummy does not see who you are yet,” Drusilla told the little baby who awoke as she lifted him up in her arms, looking into the baby’s eyes with pure adoration, as the baby did not cry, nor barely make a sound. “This child will bring that girl down, something neither you nor me nor even Angelus could do.” “So, you’re telling me that the little brat you are holding will one day take out that peppy little slayer?” Darla asked her fellow vampire; her curiosity has now peaked. “Slayers do not usually last that long but if anyone is going to break that rule it would have to be her.” “Buffy will survive far more than anyone before her and anyone after her, but this child once fully grown will be the one thing she cannot beat, and hell will descend on earth once he discovers his true power,” Drusilla said with glee in her voice as she began rocking the baby back and forth, immediately besotted with the son of the slayer. “Well just in case you are right I suppose we can spare the little brat but the next baby we find is all mine!” Darla reluctantly accepted Drusilla’s decision. Darla was right to put her hopes in Drusilla’s special abilities proving to be true, but she would not see that day for her fate led her down a different path, leading to her becoming the first pregnant vampire and sacrificing herself so her own son could be born, her son Connor being Angel’s first-born miracle child and therefore Theo’s older half-brother.

Riverborn, California, 2016.

Theo Frey, a name chosen by his adoptive parents, was far from the twisted slayer of slayers he would one day become in fact he prided himself in being top of his class, volunteering at his local town library, and being something of an overachiever. Theo lived the perfect little suburban life with his doting parents, his best friend Ruby Moon, and his secret high school romance with Riverborn High’s favorite jock Lucien Knight. Riverborn was a small town located about 2 hours from Los Angeles and only an hour away from where the town of Sunnydale once was and from the age of baby until his sixteenth birthday, it was home to Theo Frey, a home he would forever cherish even after his spiral into darkness which led to him going down a path he could never return from. Theo awoke early the morning of his sixteenth birthday, ate breakfast with his parents, and unwrapped his birthday gifts before getting ready for another day at Riverborn High as he met up with his best friend Ruby and proceeded to walk to school together like they did every day before school. “So, tonight we are totally going to this party to celebrate your birthday, albeit we will be around a bunch of people who will probably not even know we are but hey it’s still a party!” Ruby informed her friend as she and Theo continued to walk through the streets of Riverborn, heading towards their school. “Are you kidding me? My parents want to celebrate my birthday the way they have done since I told them I was too old for kid parties…with a family game night because that’s the adult equivalent to them, that and the idea of me being at an actual party where I could have actual fun shakes them to their core worse than when I pick a horror on movies night.” Theo complained, knowing his parents would never let him go to a party until he was 18 as they previously stated to him. “Sixteen is the year of rebellion I mean your parents are just waiting for the day you rebel they were kids once too and I doubt their parents were as strict as they are,” Ruby said, suggesting to Theo to break the rules for once. “Your parents are nowhere near as strict as you are on yourself so let your hair down for once, your secret straight guy crush Lucien’s going to be there.” “Are you forgetting the part where you’re not supposed to know? How is nobody supposed to know? If I went to this party tonight and he acted like I did not exist then I do not know if I could survive it…or if I could keep seeing him after that, even though I know it would not be about me it would still hurt.” Theo reluctantly admitted to his best friend. “You have it bad for this one, don’t you? The first one’s always the one that hurt you most but when they do you move on and wind up loving someone even more than you loved the one before…eventually.” Ruby advised him. “Just come to the party Theo, I’ll tell my parents I'm with you, you tell yours the same, and we’ll head to the woods for one hell of a night! And if Lucien Knight is not ready to even acknowledge you then we will deal with that with the drink I’m stealing off my parents.” “Fine.” Theo sighed, giving in to his friend, knowing he could not argue with Ruby when she was determined to get her way, and deep down wanting a night of wild teenage fun, even if it ended in heartbreak for himself.

The infamous high school party was taken deep within the woods of Riverborn late at night, Riverborn being one of the towns to come to the realization that the supernatural exist later than most of the world as they held on to their ignorance and sense of simpler times for as long as they could. Theo was not exactly having the best time as he continued drinking from a plastic cup containing beer, Ruby having scampered off with a guy and a girl, a couple that she went to work on seducing the moment they got to the party, and although he had seen Lucien, and was not ignored by him, the two did not share many words until much later that night when Lucien and Theo had many more drinks and found the confidence to sneak away from the party themselves, going deeper into the woods. “I was not expecting you here tonight I mean I thought you were spending your sweet sixteenth with the parents,” Lucien admitted to Theo as the secret lovers continued to walk deeper into the woods. “I’m glad you did though, it seems like I never get the opportunity to see you recently.” “Well, that’s the thing about keeping everything secret sure it’s hot and everything but all the sneaking around is kind of hard work…not that I want us to be public or anything, not that I even consider us…oh god you know what I mean…I hope you do.” Theo replied nervously, wanting more from Lucien but too scared to be too honest with him. “I know what you mean,” Lucien said reassuring Theo, as the two stopped by a nearby tree, Lucien looking around to check the coast is clear before pushing Theo up against that nearby tree and kissing him passionately. “Right now, it’s just you and I and the rest of the world does not exist nor does its rules or expectations.” “I like the sound of that.” Theo gushed before continuing to passionately make out with his high school sweetheart, deciding to save the relationship talk for another night, another night that would never come.

Following a party than a fumble in the woods, Theo eventually began his walk home knowing he had stayed way past the time his parents went to bed and that he could easily sneak in with his house keys, go to bed, and then come up with a lie to explain his presence come morning time but sadly for Theo that night had other plans for him which he quickly discovered upon walking up to his family home, where he was shocked to see the living room was still on. Theo quickly walked up to his front door where he noticed it was ever so slightly open like it had not been closed right and the wind had blown it open ever so slightly, but as he walked into the foyer of his family home and made his way into the living room the heart-breaking truth was soon realized. “Mum…” Theo said in shock, as eyes couldn’t comprehend what he was seeing, his mother, the woman who had raised, and loved him, was lying on the floor in a pool of her own blood, blood that had soaked into the carpet as he stood there frozen in both fear and utter heartbreak for a few minutes before he was able to move. He then rushed over to his mother, picking up her head into his arms, as he noticed the marks on her neck, marks that were caused by a vampire, although he did not realize that just yet, as he hugged his mother’s lifeless body, sobbing while shaking her, hoping, and praying that she would wake up but knowing from the coldness of her touch that she was already gone. “Dad…daddy?” Theo shouted in an almost childlike voice, filled with innocence, as he laid his mother’s head back onto the floor, now covered in her blood, as he ran back into the foyer, and began searching for his father throughout the house, fearing he would find him in a similar state but hoping he was for some reason out of the house when his mother died. Theo’s search for his father ended in the kitchen where he found him spread across the kitchen floor similarly in a pool of his own blood just like he had found his mother, and it was right then the gravity of everything forced him down to his knees as he continued to sob uncontrollably, his family gone within a blink of an eye, his innocence lost forever, and the two people who had loved him more than anything were slaughtered by someone or something he could not even fathom. “Do not worry my darling baby boy I am here to ensure what happened to your parents tonight will not also be your fate,” Drusilla announced as she walked into the kitchen, shocking Theo by her sudden arrival. “I am going to make you strong…so strong that you will get your revenge for their loss, and then seek out revenge for everybody else who played a part in your awful birthday surprise.”

Many Years Later, Undisclosed location.

Theo awaked from what felt like an endless slumber wearing nothing but a pair of silk black boxers in the middle of what looked like the woods only to find himself laid on a large boulder-like lock, as he began having flashbacks of the last moments he was awake leading to him searching his body for the bullet wounds inflicted on him by Rupert Giles were completely healed, better than healed, there were no signs he had ever been hurt. “Finally, you are awake mummy forgot just how much you liked your sleep, but this was no usual nap, my darling boy,” Drusilla announced as she appeared from behind a tree and walked over to the man she loved, in her own way, like a son. “Did you…turn me?” Theo asked as he climbed off the rock and stood on his own two feet, fearing he was now a vampire, something he did not realize until that moment, he never wanted. “No, my, magnificent man I did not,” Drusilla replied lovingly, as she lifted her left hand towards Theo’s face and began stroking his cheek gently, relieved to be reunited with him once again. “You turned yourself…when I found you, you had lost a lot of blood just like a human is drained off the blood before becoming a vampire…then you died briefly and the very blood running through your veins, Angelus’ blood, turned you into a vampire, the first-ever vampire that sired themselves…and with the slayer strength also a part of you, your true destiny has finally begun."

[cellard0ors]

Anonymous prompt request: Fordwest with “let me go”

Maybe not as good as the first time I wrote it (*side-eyes shitty tumblr app on android), but still pleased overall. Another excuse to be horny on main. Warnings for light bondage, language, and public (kinda/not really) sexiness…

“Let me go,” Preston murmurs unconvincingly against Ford’s lips.

“Hrm, I think not,” Ford returns in a soft purr as he kisses Preston again, his tongue plunging deeply into the other man’s mouth. The sweater normally knotted about Preston’s shoulders is currently being used to keep Preston’s arms bound back behind his office chair.

At first, Ford had been worried Preston wouldn’t be into this idea, as well as worried that the position might be too restrictive or painful. But once assured that everything was perfectly fine and suitable, he’d begun to have real fun, crawling upon Preston’s lap, his legs spread on either side of him. His hands cup each side of his face, fingertips trailing through his dark hair, mussing it, even as the pads of his thumbs play along his cheekbones.

Preston, for his part, answers Ford’s questing tongue with his own, a muted moan escaping him as heat flushes throughout every vein in his body. He’s supposed to be working. This is his job. He’s in his office. But with the knowledge that the door is locked and Ford is on him, practically riding him, well…

And as if to punctuate that fact, Ford grinds his hips down, moving in a lurid display that accentuates the feeling of his plush ass against Preston’s rapidly growing erection. Another sound, this one a heartier groan, escapes Preston mid-kiss and his arms strain against his bonds. Suddenly he feels Ford smiling against his mouth and, with the thought that two can play this game, Preston cants his hips upwards. Hard.

The mimic of the sexual act catches Ford off guard and he whimpers, his grip in Preston’s hair tightening, and now it’s Preston’s turn to smile. He draws back enough to huff against his mouth, “Thought you were with your brother today…”

“He’s working,” Ford returns softly, their lips still touching, his eyes glazed with lust, “Thought you knew…”

“Mmm, and you couldn’t do this with him, I take it?”

“Hard to do in front of a bunch of contractors…”

“I see.”

“…besides, wanna do this with you.”

Preston’s heart flutters at the declaration, “Really?”

Ford nods and they haven’t really ever stopped kissing, working the words in between, “Love you too, remember?”

“I do,” he returns passionately, breathlessly, their lips parting enough so that he can nose his way over to the left side of Ford’s neck, licking and sucking there, making Ford’s head knock back, a sound of pure pleasure escaping him at the action, “But I like hearing you say it. Seeing you demonstrate it…”

Ford’s hips move again, rising and falling in their own display, another recreation and Christ, Preston’s pants are growing tight. He suddenly hates his khakis more than he’s ever hated anything. He draws away from Ford’s neck, falling back against his chair and his palms are sweating, wrists fighting against what holds them back.

Again, Ford can feel the struggle, and again he seems beyond pleased. Chuckling darkly as he croons, “Problem?”

“Wretch,” Preston returns smartly and breathes in through his nose, “You are making me into a stereotype, dear. I’ve never thought of myself as the Christian Grey type, yet here I am.”

“You’re nothing like him. He’s a lousy character. Obsessive, controlling-”

“Not hearing much different, to be honest.”

“Oh, you’re different,” Ford promises and he really hasn’t stopped moving, undulating against Preston, and he’s panting now and Preston whines his name because if this keeps up…

What is it with the Pines twins and getting him worked up at his location of employment? First there was the heated affair with Stanley in this building’s elevator and now Stanford here in his office. Soon no place will be safe. Everywhere he goes will be a reminder of what he has waiting at home for him. Two brothers who love nothing more than to bring him to the pinnacle of ecstasy.

There’s softer things too, of course. Love, companionship, a sense of family. Nice, simple things that make his life stable and worth living. Things that are not entangled in hormones and primal carnality. But, to be fair, it seems to be that that they bring to his work. Not lunch dates and friendly visits, no, it’s this.

He’s not certain what it is about his work that makes the Pines brothers so…amorous, but apparently it’s an infliction neither can fight. Not that he has much room to talk. He does allow these things to happen. His heaving breathing has joined alongside Ford’s and his forehead is coated in a fine sheen of sweat as he starts answering Ford’s actions with his own, thrusting upwards and god, yes, he feels rather…rather close…

The phone rings.

The shrill sound of it makes Preston freeze, blood going cold. Ford stops as well, but while he has a look of momentary alarm, it drops, becoming something…truly wicked. Coy even, as he kisses Preston deeply again before drawing back to say wetly against his mouth, “It’s just the phone…they can’t see us…”

“They can’t-?” Preston foolishly starts and then Ford, the absolute devil, bends back enough to click the speaker on. The phone comes to life, a voice ringing out, “Mr. Northwest?”

The wide eyed look Preston shoots Ford must be terribly comical, because Ford slaps both hands over his mouth to stifle his laughter, and he just looks so goddamned pleased with himself. He’s still on Preston’s lap. Preston’s hands are tied behind his back. Preston…Preston is aroused. His dick at full mast and a voice he doesn’t recognize is talking to him from his phone’s speaker!

“Mr. Northwest, are you there?”

The sheer audacity! The-the gall! The look Preston now gives Ford would whither most people. Ford? Ford just falls forward, burying his face into the right side of Preston’s neck and the smile Preston feels there, the smile right against his skin. The little minx! The scapegrace! The-!

“I think we may have a bad connection…”

“No,” Preston manages awkwardly, even though, honestly, he should just let the call die, he finds himself answering, “I’m-I’m here…”

“Oh! Good! Okay, well, this is Mark Barnett? From accounting? I just wanted to let you know those invoices are complete and headed your way via e-mail. You told us in the last meeting that you wanted to be notified the moment they were on their way, so”

“Ah, yes, yes, I-I remember…” Preston manages and he’s being licked. Ford is licking him. The silky point of Ford’s tongue trails along one corded side of Preston’s neck and rises to his earlobe. An earlobe that disappears into the hot cavern of Ford’s mouth. Teeth gently scrap the tender flesh as Preston sighs dreamily, “Th-thank you for-ahh-for getting-getting back to muh-me as-as I requested.”

The last word comes out extremely shaky and broken because now, not only is Ford sucking his earlobe, but he’s moving again. Jesus, the feel of him. He’s rubbing and pushing, shifting himself downwards, and Preston’s been inside Ford before. He knows what it’s like to be buried deep within him and even with their clothes separating them, this is too much, too much of a reminder.

Preston mouths ‘fuck’, the muscles in his throat twisting, wrists pulling so hard against the sweater he worries he’ll somehow tear the fabric and he wants this all to be over, to be different. He wants the bonds gone, he wants their clothes gone, he wants Ford face down on his desk and for his hands to be grabbing fistfuls of his curved, full hips as he empties himself in-!

“Are you alright, sir?”

Preston knows he sounds strangled even as, thankfully, Ford pauses, as if curious to hear what will happen next, “Pardon?”

“You sound…strange…”

“Do-uh-do I?”

“Yes. Sort of…throaty…”

While it’s a relief Ford is no longer trying to bring him to the brink, it’s just as vexing to know that Ford’s body is now shaking, trembling, from glee. Preston swallows a lot of air before returning primly, “Yes, I, ah, I’m afraid I might be coming down with something.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, Mr. Northwest! I hope you get better soon.”

“Yes, thank you and thank you again for your hard work. Goodbye.” He doesn’t need to look at Ford for his lover to take the hint, the last word spoken with such steely authority that Ford obeys, bending back to click the speaker off and conclude the call.

Laughter ripples out of Stanford even as Preston’s voice rises, “You absolute monster!”

If anything this just makes Ford laugh harder, his arms wrapping around himself, and it’s amazing he hasn’t fallen back to roll around on the floor. He’s close to hysterical at what just transpired and Preston glares at him, “Just wait until we get home!”

Ford wipes away some tears, “Ahahaha-ha-ha-ho-home?”

Preston makes a sound of assent, “When I tell your brother…”

“Oh? You’re not going to get your own revenge?”

“I will,” Preston promises, “But your brother? He’s the master of this sort of thing, is he not? And with my help? Why…just imagine…”

Ford gulps and it’s clear that he hadn’t given that thought. His two lovers…plotting against him…

He tries a contrite look, but currently it doesn’t sit well with him at all, “C’mon, Pres, I was just playing around…”

“And so shall I,” he intones ominously, “And so shall he…”

“Pres…”

“And so,” Preston edges up and sneaks in a kiss, “Shall we…”

[aveyna]

Digging Your Own Grave

SUMMARY: This job should have been easy. All he had to do was steal a totem from a short alchemist and a pyromaniac. It certainly was easy, until Yong had become convinced his actual name was 'Hugo the Human.'

AO3 LINK

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Hugo does not know how this happened. His heart is ready to burst out of his chest. Inwardly, he is screaming, but on the outside, he is cool, composed, sophisticated, and most certainly not panicking because he made himself look like a complete fool in-front of the boy he definitely does not think is attractive.  

It was supposed to be an easy job, Donella said. All he had to do was infiltrate the group, trick them all into believing he was an ally, and steal the totems and Ulla’s journal.

But this is not what he signed up for. How was he supposed to know the short alchemist with the blue hair stripe was this cute?

Don’t worry, he told himself. I can work with this.

“Well, well, well, who might you two be?”

The short alchemist looks up, and he can see that his eyes are a light shade of blue. He is glaring at him, and…right. No wonder why he’d look so mad considering the totem clutched in his hand.

“I’m Varian the alchemist and—”

“I’m Yong!” A boy holding an alarming number of explosives and fireworks exclaims. There is a mischievous glint in his eyes that under most circumstances, Hugo can respect. But here…not so much.

“That totem belongs to us,” Varian says. If Hugo were a decent person, he’d hand it over, but nah. There’s nothing about this rusty old thing that particularly strikes his fancy, but a job’s a job. And, it would be hilarious to rile them up for the sake of it. Who cares about common decency when he can be petty as all hell?

Though, this can still work out in his favor. He will complete the job and endear himself to the alchemist. It’s a win-win situation either way. “I like your magic wand. S’ pretty.”

S’ pretty….!!? What is he even saying!!?

The shorter alchemist huffs in annoyance, but this can still work. He has done more with less.

Which is what he would say, but……

Nope, he is done.

Upon parting ways [under less than ideal circumstances], he had divulged his name to fireworks boy and hair stripe. The other alchemist, Varian, he had asked for his name, to which he had of course obliged. He could do this, all he had to do was give a name. A damn name; nothing about that particular question would hamper his capabilities to impress the dark-haired boy.

Confidently, stance straight, and voice loud and clear, he knew there was possibly no way he could mess up such an innocent and mundane question.

“I’m Hugo the human.”

Dumbfounded, Yong and Varian stare in silence before turning to each other. The fireworks obsessed maniac looks up at the elder of the two for confirmation on how to respond. They had never doubted he was human, but if he had to go out of his way to proclaim his humanity, then, there was nothing to be said or done.

Chuckling nervously, Yong smiles up at Hugo. “Of course we know you’re human.”

Varian facepalms. He was happy to let that proclamation fade away into the awkward silence, but now that it has been addressed, he…just, what should he even do? Nothing in his life had prepared him for the sheer uncomfortable nature of holding conversations with an enemy, especially not one so…bizarre.

At this point, Hugo cannot even attempt to salvage the remnants of his suave persona. They are now mangled, destroyed, dismantled, all due to his stupidity and a cute alchemist.

Oh well.

He can just kill him and forget this whole incident ever happened. The alchemist would surely be missed by someone else out there, but that is a sacrifice he is willing to make.

Donella had always told him emotions were a weakness. If he ever came across someone he fancied, he should just stab them on the spot and move on. Apparently she’s had…prior experiences on the matter.

But, if only it were that simple.

“Yeah, I’m definitely a person and not anything else. A normal human person.” Smooth, Hugo. As if that wasn’t obvious enough.

The silence is distressingly palpable, so, Hugo shoots them a smirk. At least, he hopes it conveys the persona he had held so dearly. “Well, you two are adorable. But, I’m on a schedule, so……

He reaches for a glowing circular glass vial and hurls it towards the ground, pouring as much frustration and irritation as he can into this effort. The effects are immediate. As the glass vial breaks upon impact, the stuffy, crimson-red cavernous dwelling of the first collected totem is enveloped in a bright blue flash of light. While it is certainly pretty, it does not quite match up with the raven-haired alchemist.

I definitely need to kill him, Hugo mutters to himself as he makes his escape.

---

Hugo sighs. He knew he should have murdered Varian when he had the chance. The last few weeks were a blur, but somehow, he had integrated himself into Varian’s haphazard band of misfits. Friends, is what he called them, but Hugo sincerely doubts that statement. Enemies, sure. But how the fuck could these idiots possibly stand each other’s company without some type of ulterior motive?

His plan would have been a success. It would have gone off without a hitch, were it not for one small problem.

One small, little, annoying problem with an affinity for fireworks and explosions.

Since he had joined the group, Yong was apparently convinced that he was not a human. Or maybe that his middle name is ‘The’ and last name is ‘Human’. Frankly, he does not want to know which could possibly be the reason. He isn’t sure if it’s a step up from when the kid would just stare at him from a distance or cling onto Varian whenever he’d try to hold a conversation with the other alchemist. At least the admittedly trigger happy child had finally taken a liking to him, but he is this close to murdering their entire group.

Donella might kill him for not collecting all of the totems, but that is a risk he is more than happy to take.

“This is Hugo the Human,” Yong says, as he introduces him to yet another passerby that had the misfortune of encountering their ragtag group of misfits. “He looks mean, but he’s not so bad when you get to know him!”

With a stupidly compassionate alchemist with a remarkably bizarre streak of blue hair, a boy carrying firecrackers taller than himself, a regal-looking princess with a lunar motif, the world’s most deadpan raccoon, a donkey on the verge of death, and him—

The only decent looking bloke in their group, he is certain they have been placed on the most wanted list in some town. Someplace, somewhere. Or maybe a hit list. Both of these scenarios are plausible, if he were to be honest with himself.

And if not, he is sure he’d hire a hitman [or woman] on himself at the end of this adventure.

He keeps up the cool, sophisticated persona he has crafted for himself as he gently nudges Yong away.

No, no, he tells yet another random face. I am definitely human and not anything else.

“If you’re human, then what’s your last name?” Yong, blessed, sweet summer child as he was, Hugo knew he had to maintain some semblance of patience. It would have been easy enough, were it not for the fact he could clearly see Varian laughing at his misfortune. Sure, he was stifling a smile behind his hand, but it definitely did not count.

Shoot, did he even have a last name?

“Okay, fine. My last name is human,” Hugo deadpans. They had long since scared off any passerby or potential axe wielding murderers. What a bummer.

“I knew it!” he exclaims, stars shining in his eyes as he sets their last remaining map on fire.

“Yeah, yeah, good for you—

Wait. Since when did that little gremlin get their map!?

“Yong, not again!!” the younger alchemist screams as he rushes over towards Yong, concern and exhaustion clearly visible in his features. “You can’t keep setting our equipment on fire!”

“I’m sorry!!!” Yong exclaims tearfully. He’s pouting at Varian, but he can detect the slight manic glee in his voice. “I had nothing else to conduct experiments on. What else was I supposed to set on fire?”

“Why don’t you try to not set any fires?” Nuru deadpans.

“Impossible.” Somehow, Yong has the audacity to look offended. He shoots Nuru a withering gaze, as if she had somehow suggested they should rip up a book for fun.

That little shit. He’s not sorry at all, is he?

“That still doesn’t give you an excuse to destroy our only map!!” Varian’s eyes comically widen to the size of saucers as he wrestles the map out of Yong’s hands. The sight would be humorous, were it not for the mere fact that he was in the danger zone. Nuru is holding the explosion obsessed maniac away from the currently burning, flammable, dangerous sheet of paper while Varian frantically stomps on it.

“Aren’t you going to help us?” Nuru asks, disdain laced in her voice as she regards him. Out of their whole group, she was the only one who did not trust him at first glance. Truly, those other two boys would be dead without her.

Nuru was the only one with an iota of common sense. If it didn’t go against his plans, he would have begrudgingly respected her.

“Nah, I think I’m good here. The view’s better,” he scoffs, carefully eyeing the now darkened, crisp piece of paper on the ground. Less chance of getting set on fire, he notes, as he glances at a still panicked Varian and slightly guilty Yong.

“Sure, that’s it. The view,” Nuru pointedly responds. She had since then let go of Yong and has decided to sit down next to him underneath the tree he had just then decided to be his grave. Personally, he doesn’t think it’s a smart decision considering Yong has gotten his hands on even more explosives.

Nuru smirks at him, ignoring Yong’s maniacal laughter and Varian’s screams of frustration at being unable to catch him. “And certainly, it’s not because you’re scared?”

Should he help Varian? Then again, anyway, why should he care? He almost feels tempted to assist Varian in reeling in the pyromaniac…almost, but not quite.

“Why are you here?” Hugo drawls, irritation evident in his voice.

The celestial princess brightly laughs at him, but there is an inherent darkness in her voice. He is certain he had never stolen anything from her…besides the totem, but that shouldn’t count considering she wasn’t even in their party at the time—

“Maybe I’m just curious about you,” Nuru admits.

Once again, Princess Nuru is the only logical one out of this entire lot.

Well, after yours truly, of course. “I’m flattered, princess, but—”

He can almost gauge the time it had taken for realization to flicker across her face. It’s hilarious enough that he can’t help but chuckle.

“Wait, no, that’s not what I meant.” The princess is seething and moments away from chucking a large book at his head. “What exactly made you go from a rogue thief…to this?”

She gestures towards Hugo, enough for him to feel affronted.

“You’re gesturing to all of me,” he sardonically mutters. Somehow, Yong still hasn’t run out of energy, but Varian—

He had decided to give up and instead joined them underneath the shade of a very comfortable, but very flammable tree.

“Exactly,” Nuru responds. She locks eyes with Varian, and halfheartedly questions, “What made you trust this guy?”

“Everyone deserves second chances,” Varian says. His eyes are directed somewhere far away. Something flickers beneath his gaze, and for a moment, he seems tired and world-weary. But, just as quickly as it appeared, this unexplainable side of the alchemist vanishes.

This misplaced trust, goggles, will be your undoing.

Varian looks toward Hugo, and smiles warmly at him. “How about you, Hugo? Why did you decide to join us?”

There are many things he could have said.

Maybe, he was bored. Perhaps he felt a tiny shred of guilt at stealing the totem. Their group looked fun or maybe, he did not want to travel alone in unknown territory.

Anything, really, would have been better than this.

“Ooh, maybe it was love?”

Dang it, Yong.

“Excuse me!!?” He and Nuru exclaim at the same time. They both shoot each other bewildered gazes. Varian had somehow frozen on the spot, staring at Yong in sheer horror.

“I mean, you know! Rapunzel and Eugene fell in love and got married!” he exclaims cheerfully. Yong, too, had decided to invade the sanctity of the tree and had nestled himself between him and Varian. “Maybe you need true love’s kiss to become human, just like in the frog prince!”

“Are you calling me a frog?” Hugo is tempted to end this misery, but no, he needs to show restraint. This job is unfinished, and he wants to maintain his one hundred percent perfect record.

“I don’t think he looks like a frog,” Varian says, eyes downcast.

Somehow, goggles of all people had agreed with him, but he’s not going to overlook this. “Thank you!!!”

Yong gazes up at him, eyes wide with concern. “But…don’t you want to become a human?”

“I am human—you know what, nevermind. I’m done,” Hugo tiredly replies.

“Then why did you join us?” Varian asks in curiosity.

“Well, it’s certainly not because I think you look pretty,” he automatically responds. The color drains from his face as he realizes that no, he did not keep those thoughts in his head.

“What,” Varian and Hugo say in unison.

“Did you just say he’s—”

“No, I said he looks shitty. Goodbye.”

With a huff, Hugo gets up from the sanctuary of their tree. He’s tempted to reach for his dagger, but even a shovel would do.

He hopes he can find one in time to bury himself.

Hopefully, Varian will cry at his funeral. And…get Yong to keep the firecrackers at home.

You know what…nevermind. Only Nuru will be invited.

[popculturebuffet]

Toons for Our Times: Ducktales: They Put a Moonlander on the Earth!

At Glomglast, Glomgold Glomturns! Flintheart Hero of Earth Glomgold continues riding his wave of good PR from helping save the earth in the manner you’d expect: With  a dangerous attention seeking pr stunt/ferris wheel/half-ased plan to murder scrooge. Naturally Dewey is first in line for it. Meanwhile Webby tries to convince a wound up Penumbra to stay and enjoy earth so she can get a new alien friend who she relates to and her brothers can get a new step mom, while Launchpad is awkward because his coffee with Pennumbra went worse than the one he had with the gas cloud. The Glom Knight Glomturns under the cut. 

This one is late for both good reason, I didn’t want to hog the wifi while my nieces were trying to remote school, and not so good I.e.... I entirely forgot an episode was today because I’m not used to the new schedule, as in the past the show’s either aired on saturday like usual for a disney show, or as a cluster of episodes throughout one week, so even if it wasn’t something I was used to, I was tuned to stay in. The new schedule is weird  and my brain is stupid is what i’m saying. Now i’ve covered my butt on with the review! This week focuses on Penumbra, and explains exactly what happened to the Moonlanders after Moonvasion. For Penny at least she’s apparently been living in the McDuck hangar, or somewhere near it, and working on rebuilding one of the bigger ships to get her people home. Della, while not missing the opprotunity to point out now Penny’s the one living in HER garage buliding a rocket home, pitches in and we see things have clearly changed. At least with Della, Penny’s let down her guard and now openly considers her her best friend.. and perhaps more because the romantic tension is so thick here you could cut it with a sword. Granted I may have swords on the brain because of this. 

Which if your not up to date on your x-men comics, is an event where our Uncanny X-Men, now having their own nation of krakoa where all mutants are welcome, which includes apocalypse so he’s on THEIR SIDE in that shot, must fight ten other mutants in a ritual sword duel with some of the strongest swords in the mighty marvel canon, and loosing means the other mutants, many of whom are the CHILDREN of apocalyspe from centuries ago he thought lost, get to invade earth with a demonic horde. And if NONE of that made you curious, let alone want to read that, I just.. don’t get you. 

Back to the gays, yeah the ten sword thick sexual tension is broken by the fact that Penumbra reveals she tried SOME earth culture and did get that coffee with Launchpad, with Della baffled.. I mean look at those abs. Though it’s probably less “Launchpad really?” and more “Why not me first? Is he sexier? Dammit he is. “ It went about as well as you’d expect.. with Penny storming out suddenly saying this is terrible and running off. Eh not the worst first date i’ve seen in animation this year. I’ve seen a woman go on a date with a man conjoined to his ex.. and not like their siblings it’s a medical procedure. Because close enough is pretty fucking insane and let’s keep it that way.

But yeah so Penumbra’s not sold on earth and Della’s attempts to get her to go with the kids, get to that in a minute, fall on deaf ears. But the thing is. her people are. When meeting with gibious and zenith, if you don’t remember the married moon couple we saw back in “The Golden Spear”, Penumbra finds out she’s the only one who wants to go home. Her people like it here...the happy couple even got adorable new outfits, a job with Glomgold in Gibbious’ case, and an adorable new dog named good boy. Look at them. 

I would die for either of them. I hope we see Good Boy again. And that the show introduces Bolivar, donald’s dog at some point. Or even his ostrich hortense. I just want the duck to have a pet dammit. 

Point is their happy here and while Penny wants to go back to the old routine of them all on the moon and her saving them.. their fine if she wants to go home but.. their staying here. And it’s easy to see WHY they want to: The moon was harsh, filled with monsters and much like us humans right now with earth, they only stayed in their clusterfuck of a home world because they had no way out. It’s probably why Lunaris sold hte invasion so easily: With his pitch they were just taking a nicer world from a bunch of mean asssholes who refused to share it and whose sole representative had seemingly betrayed them. Without any reason to hate the earthlings and, outside of once incident later in the episode, the earthlings accepting them with open arms and forgiveness, why wouldn’t they stay on a nice, sunny world, in a large city willing to house them and give them jobs, with delicious foods and all sorts of fun shit to distract you from the bad parts of living here that the moon lacked. 

Penny’s issue is while THEIR lives were miserable.. her’s wasn’t. She was a hero, a super hero really.. I mean she’s dressed like a kree sentry, she protects the helpless and she’s a fearless warrior whose now a fish out of water on a world she never could’ve expected but grows to love. Martian Manhunter, Captain Marvel, the Mar Vell one, Warlock, Adam Warlock and yes their separate characters, Supergirl, not superman because while he is an alien he grew up here.. all aliens who immigrated here and grew to love and protect it and see it as their home. Penny just hasn’t got to the “love and protect it” part yet and while the rest of her people have new purpose, new homes and new lives and still meet once a week to party she finds herself, theri greatest champion an outsider, desperately wanting her old life back but not accepting it’s gone. She can go home but she’d be the one person on a desolate moon clinging to the past.  Penny here honestly reminds me of jasper in steven unvierse future: Both are old soldiers who find their empire gone, their entire way of life uprooted and have no way to cope and desperately hoping things will collapse back to THEIR normal, not realizing the new one isn’t going anywhere and is better for their people. They need to move on but their too proud and too scared to try. 

However Penny refuses to admit defeat to her people and that she can’t have “earth fun”, and left with no other choices, decides to take the kids up on their offer after all. To explain that we quickly wrap to the top of the episode, where Webby, bored and having trouble finding anyone, finds Penny and after Penny dosen’t want to hang out finds Dewey and Louie. I assume since their absent this episode, Huey is introducing Violet to Gyro, Fenton and Boyd, Beakly is buying groceries, Donald is courting Daisy and Scrooge.. is trying to get fethry’s hands, feet and head out of pickle jars because he thought they’d preserve him and Donald is busy for once so he’s the only one left to do it.  Louie and Dewey plan on just laying around and biinging old ottoman empires, I can relate, but the news gives them a better option. A GLOMGOLD OPTION. Oh me mow how i’ve missed this big beautiful man. Seriously Glomgold is easily one of the best parts of the reboot and Keith Fergeuson brings an utterly delightful manic glee to the guy any time he shows up to eat the scenery whole. While I get holding back on him since he had an arc last season, it’s still nice to have him back in all his hammy glory.  And naturally being glomgold he has a scheme going: After gifting a rolelrcoaster previously, over water and with sharks because his brand’s nothing if not consistent, he’s now offering the flintferris glomwheel, which is shoddy, dangerous, secretly a plot to kill scrooge, and is very likely to kill a child.. so in other words it’s Glomgold himself roleld into a ferris wheel. Dewey is psyched to go because he let another kid go first for Glomgold’s last PR Stunt/Nightmare and that kid got all the glory and as such is now Dewey’s new nemisis. So after asking his mom “If we can go ride a death wheel so I can get famous’, which of course Della says yes to, our heroes end up taking Penny along.  Launchpad drives and gets his subplot for the episode, being awkard around Penny because the date went bad and not sure if this makes then enimies and avoiding her. He tries going to dewey for help, and while Dewey is out of his element, he does actually give good advice to just talk to her.. Launchpad just takes it while he’s driving because it’s launchpad. Thankfully webby can drive. He spends the rest of hte episode getting into shenanigans before, after helping her with the climax, phrasing, being honest and apologizing. And i’m also covering the plot to get her answer out of the way now: Penny admits he’s fine, thery can be fight buds, he’s a good warrior sh’es just “Not interested in an earth..male” her exact words. 

I mean.. there’s no real subtly here. Even if she’s not into Della, which all evidence suggests is the case, Penumbra is CLEARLY into women. I mean Frank is basically saying as loudly as his mousey overlords will allow “SHE’S GAY FOR DELLA”. Wether this goes anywhere, I dunno. While Lumity started ramping up this year, that property’s not based on Disney’s classic canon and STILL had to fight tooth and claw to make Luz bisexual and her love intrested a girl. Disney won’t even let this show use Mickey and almost didn’t let them use the rescue rangers, the odds are against them.. but I also never thoguht we’d see violet’s gay dads on screen, or so many previously  comics only characters, so frank’s said screw the impossible before. Now probably is no different. 

Back to the main plot, and to the return of Glomgold whose great as ever. Glomgold made the moonlanders and some of duckberg think he was soley responsible for saving the world.. how many people besides the non-penny moonlanders think he actually did it is up for debate but he DID genuinely help save the world. Also his scheme to get his company back somehow WORKED despite not being legally binding, as he’s now back in his tower, back to scheming and has an actual assitant instead of a professional career woman he treats like one in a bit that didn’t age all that well even a year later.  Gibious is now Glomgold’s sidekick and in a nice contrast to Owlson instead of being fed up with his crap Gibious, buying into Glomgold’s own ego, lavishes praise on his new boss, treats him like the god he thinks he is, and is genuinely sweet and helpful. It’s a nice dynamic giving Glomgold someone who ACTUALLY and genuinely likes him as a person and wants him to suceed and trusts in his insane schemes and leads to some great bits like Gib genuinely calling the safety inspector when Glomgold makes an airquotes remark about it and at the end Glomgold admitting “I can’t stay mad at you” to his new lackey/Best friend. Frankly Glomgold needed a 21 to his Monarch, and i’ts a delight to see it and Paulson and Ferguson have real chemistry.  Meanwhile in the A-Plot, Webby tries to get Penny to enjoy earth, first with a street performer she tosses in the water ,as you should, then with a shooting range which ends with her massacering a clownhead to the children minus webby’s horror and tears. We were one more frame away from this really. 

Also we get the ducks feeding.. ducks, a gag Frank’s apparently wanted to do for three seasons now, and with Penny being as confused as the audeince. but non of this, including roller skates really works.  So while Dewey goes off to get in line to one up his rival, Webby gets honest with Penny about why she’s so invested and this episode goes from good.. to truly fantastic. While webby fangirling over a mighty and gay space warrior makes sense, there’s a personal reason she wants to help here that really tugs at the heart strings: Webby was like her once. Like Penny she spent her whole life honing herself into a weapon, sealed in her own tiny world, For Penny it was her moon village for Webby it was the mansion. And being thrust out into it was .. frightening. We saw webby struggle to adjust in “Daytrip of Doom!” and part of her wanted to plunge back into the mansion and her saftey net at times. But she didn’t.. with the help of her family, and her friends, she found out just how wonderful the world is and how as scary as the world is.. it opened up new parts of her. Duckberg webby was just as great as mansion webby if not better. So Webby wants to do the same for penny and what really clinches the scene is how she does it: a Hamburger, the symbol from the pilot of what webby was deprived of all her life, given to a new friend as a symbol of what the world offers. And it works at first, even without cheese. But then Penny gets a brain freeze, and Glomgold, needing a distraction from the saftey inspector rames her as going beserk because he’s an asshat in every other way let’s add racisim to it. 

A chase insues, Penny’s determined to flee.. but she gets a second wind when Dewey, who rushed in to get the first ride and webby get trapped. Sadly dewey’s new enemy gets all the attention, and as we find out is aware he one upped Dewey and brags over it, but Penny has now gone from fish out of water to shark on the hunt, and with Launchpad’s help to get past Glom and Gib, and the roller skates from earlier finally has some earth fun by skating into the air, climbing the Ferris wheel and saving the kids. Penny FINALLY found something she likes about earth; That she can Still protect people, including her people and do what she loved there and the danger here is WAY more intresting.. I mean on hte moon itw as just the usual monsters she was used to. Here she had to rocket into the air, and climb an megalomainics cannon armed ferris wheel to save two adorable children. In short she’s become a super hero and like those I mentioned, has grown to care about earth. So basically this is like captain marvel was an episode of Steven Universe. I likes it. But it’s a nice character arc, as Penny realizes the outside world, and her new friends/future stepchildren, have b eauty and worth. And she will protect their kind, she will protect them. I mean duckberg already has about 4 other superheroes if you count lena, which with that outfit last time I dooo, but frankly with how much disaster it faces on a daily basis, and how much Fenton needed a goddamn break, and with Darkwing leaving for st canard soon, they could probably use her. 

So the day is saved, Glomgold is buired in fines but has a new minon, Dewey is dewfeated and Penny is happy again. We end on Penny recounting everything to Gibious and wife, and Good Boy obviously, along with Della who casually admits she really shoduln’t of let her child go but sooths him anyway over his loss. Penny is happy and deciding to stay, and her and her new best buddy laucnhpad are going to go tear the ship apart with her carrying della along. I swear when they finally do do it she’s just going to.. carry a willing della to her bedroom and throw her down on that thing.. everything after is up to you Id ont’ write porn here. Nothing wrong with it just not my bidness. So with a hopeful new future and a neat t-shirt, Penny finally finds her place in the world. 

Final Thoughts: A very good, very gay episode that’s just as good as last weeks and gives penumbra a hell of a character arc, while also being an utterly hilaroius episode, from penumbra’s destruction, to glomgold’s hilarious as always antics to dewey’s attention whoring reaching self endagering heights of stupidity and ego, this was a great one and keeps up Season 3′s quality streak. While the plot progression may be slow for now, everything else is at an alltime goddamn high. 

Next week, it’s the HALLOWEEN EPISODE BITCHES. Nuff Said. Until then you can check my blog for more reviews, as we have some halloween stuff coming up. Sadly with Loud House going silent, it seems this is our only weekly coverage but expect more reviews of various shows, and some very spooky ooky ones coming very soon including some brucie bonus episodes and until we meet again, go team venture! Play us out glomgold....

[gofordrakgo]

slice of life, pregnancy, drakgo pleeeeease

Well! This took me awhile to get around to, but it’s finally written! I hope it proves to be worth the wait! Enjoy some drakgo fluff!

"Though her skin still beckoned his lips he resigned himself to kneading his knuckles along her spine the best he could in the somewhat awkward position, while they watched the snow falling over the ocean. “Does this count as their first snowfall?” Drew teased quietly."

The list - scrawled across an entire wall of the kitchen in variously colored erasable markers - had been thoroughly ingrained in his mind for weeks. He knew every possible choice by heart. That didn’t stop him from turning his attention to it as soon as he popped the homemade cinnamon rolls into the oven. Cradling a mixing bowl in one arm, he absentmindedly stirred the ingredients for the icing together as he stared at the list.

He knew they needed to make a decision, and soon, but he was as indecisive as ever. He just hoped that when the time came they would somehow instinctively know and that they wouldn’t end up regretting the decision later on.

Arms wrapping around his waist behind him pulled him out of his distracted stupor, and tension he hadn’t noticed faded as he relaxed into her.

“Good morning,” he greeted just before his wife’s hug loosened. Her hands traveled up to his shoulders, and then to his head where she pushed her fingers through his hair. A pleasant shiver coursed through him when her lips pressed against the nape of his neck.

Sometimes he missed his long hair and wished that his flower sprouted out of his arms instead, like that one popular arachnid comic book character. Then, perhaps, he wouldn’t have had to cut off his ponytail to stop the vines from tangling in it. When she was there, however, silently reminding him that she liked it the way it was, he forgot all about his petty regrets. Not to mention the fact that even though they had left villainy and begun using their proper names in conversation he really had no interest whatsoever in looking like a hero. Even if he technically was one. And even if he was quite proud of his accomplishment.

Stretching an arm out he let the bowl of frosting fall to the counter so he could turn and give her a proper kiss before she asked, “Have you narrowed it down any yet?” tilting her head toward the list behind him.

He shook his head and stepped away to take their breakfast out of the oven. “Have you?” he asked in turn as he frosted the piping hot cinnamon rolls.

She looked more than a little dismayed when she also had to shake her head. Her shoulders slumped. “Nope. Not even a little.”

“Well, we still have some time.” He was trying to be comforting, but he knew it wasn’t much use. The decision had been weighing on them for months.

“We might not, Drew. You never know.”

With a horrified sense of glee, he realized that she was right. A few weeks earlier than expected wouldn’t be too unusual. He practically collapsed to his knees in front of her and planted a kiss on her stomach. “You two better not even think of coming early. At least let us narrow it down a little first,” he quietly, almost jokingly, begged. She brushed her fingers through his hair again and for a brief moment his eyes fluttered shut and he let his head go limp against her palm.

Icing splattering against his glasses made him sputter and pull away.

“Those are–,” he cut off his warning at the sight of her raised eyebrow. Of course, she wouldn’t care at all that they were still hot. A breathy laugh left him as he stood to rinse his glasses in the sink.

He’d asked her once if she ever thought of the fact that it might hurt the babies to eat things that were still piping hot. Having a slice of homemade pizza hurled at his face fresh out of the oven was a good way of telling him to shut up, though speaking to a medical professional about it had been more helpful at reassuring him the babies would be fine.

“The twins like them,” she said, grabbing his hand to let him feel them kicking with all the giddiness as she had the first time they’d moved.

He grinned, drying his glasses off with his shirt. “I’m so proud.”

Suddenly she threw her arms around his neck, dragging him into an unexpected kiss that tasted like cinnamon and sugar. When she stilled, leaving him delightfully breathless, she murmured, “Guess what?” against his lips.

He only managed to hum his acknowledgment, greedily focused on her touch and the feel of her lips on his to properly respond.

“It’s snowing,” she told him, turning her head as she pointed out the window above the kitchen sink. He took the opportunity to turn his desire fueled attention to her neck. For a moment that would have been too short if it had lasted hours, she held him close, letting out a content sigh that warmed him to his core. With a shuddery breath, she gently pushed him away. “Drew. Breakfast. Snow.” She was smiling at him as she said it, though her voice sounded serious.

“Drew… Shea,” he argued, gesturing to her. Before he could move back into her she stuffed a bite of cinnamon roll into his mouth. It was a bit conceited, he was sure, but he instantly let himself be distracted by how delicious it was.

He just managed to grab a roll for himself before she snapped up the whole tray and retreated into the living room with a wry grin. Staving off a smirk he trailed leisurely after her, shaking his head at the sight of her cross-legged on the ground in front of the floor-to-ceiling window. He paused to watch her for a moment, still flabbergasted nearly a year after he finally worked up the courage to tell her he loved her that, for some reason, she had decided she loved him too.

Snatching the blanket from the back of the couch on the way, despite how comfortably warm it was inside, he joined her on the floor. She settled herself between his legs almost immediately with her back pressed to his chest and her hands atop his over her stomach.

“I love you,” they synchronized.

She let out a low moan, muttering some complaint that her lower back was hurting, as it had been doing more and more frequently. Though her skin still beckoned his lips he resigned himself to kneading his knuckles along her spine the best he could in the somewhat awkward position, while they watched the snow falling over the ocean.

“Does this count as their first snowfall?” Drew teased quietly.

Shea snorted, shaking her head.“If they’re still inside my body, then no.”

“I can’t wait to meet them,” he said, not at all surprised to find tears welling up in his eyes. He’d cried more in the months since he’d found out he was going to be a father than he had in all the years since the day he dropped out of college. Which, admittedly, had been far too many tears then. Until he’d met her. Someday…someday he would tell her she had been the one who inspired him to seek the world.

“I’d still like to have names for them,” she countered, rubbing her thumb in circles on his knee. “Even if we named one Petunia like your mother wanted.”

“She thinks she’s so funny,” he muttered. “ Oh, Drew,” he began mimicking his beloved mother in a falsely high pitched voice,  “how cute would it be to name a little girl after a flower, just like her daddy?”

Shea patted his knee. “We both know that’s not how that conversation went down… Drewbie.”

“Oh, haha,” he replied dryly. “Yes, she did call me Drewbie. But every other word was… um… Every other word was verbatim!”

“That’s a big word!” she just continued to mock. “And you even used it right! I’m so proud.”

“You know, if I didn’t love you as much as I do I’d—”

Shea snorted without letting him even finish his sentence, twisting in his arms as she shook her head. “No, you wouldn’t.”

He managed to glare at her for an entire five seconds before his facade cracked and he grinned. “I really wouldn’t,” he agreed, planting a kiss on her cheek.

Her face softened, in a way he was slowly getting used to. “I love you too,” she murmured, although she didn’t really need to. Surprising though it was, he could practically feel how much she loved him when she smiled so warmly at him the way she was.

Just as they both leaned in for a kiss the loud ringing of what was meant to be an emergency phone interrupted them. With a sigh, he quickly pecked her lips then shot her an apologetic look as he clambered to his feet. She was still giving him that same soft look as he rushed across the room to answer, so he figured it may be safe to guess that she wasn’t upset with him.

Before he could even say hello, his mother’s shrill voice was crooning in his ear. “Have my two babies figured out names for their two babies yet?”

He sighed, mouthing, “It’s my mother,” to which Shea only smirked and directed her gaze back to the snow. Of course, she wasn’t surprised about who dared to call them so early in the morning. As much as he loved his mother, her once weekly phone calls had turned into more than three times a day since he’d told her about the twins and he was growing unfortunately tired of talking to her. It hadn’t helped that his mother spent the first three months yelling at him for not inviting her to the wedding. He didn’t dare to mention that they’d had it in a panic less than a day after they’d realized Shea was pregnant.

“Good morning, Mother,” he greeted as politely as possible despite his annoyance. “And no. We’re still trying to narrow it down. But we’re getting closer!” That was a lie, but he hoped that it would dissuade her from trying to give him any more suggestions.

It didn’t.

“What about Petunia?” she asked. He could picture the over-excited grin on her face as if she were standing right before him.

“Mother,” Drew sighed, not sure if he should be annoyed or worried that she was repeating herself. From the corner of his eye, he could see Shea attempting to get off the floor and he rushed back to her to give her a hand.

She smiled at him and popped the last bite of… the very last remaining cinnamon roll into his mouth while - unaffected by what he thought was an obvious lack of interest in her unhelpful suggestions - his mother continued, “Azalea?”

“Mother, please.”

“I’ll be in the kitchen,” Shea whispered, and he couldn’t help but watch her as she walked away. He couldn’t resist smiling as he watched her drag her fingers through the tray, licking up any remaining trace of food and he reminded himself silently that he would have to try making them with strawberry icing for her.

“Marigold?” The squeal that followed made him jerk the phone from his ear and wince in pain. Rubbing his ringing ear he switched the phone to his other hand just in time to hear, “Oh, Drew, Mary Lipsky would be so cute!”

Exasperated beyond measure, he tore his gaze away from Shea’s backside and grumbled, “I am not naming my children after plants.”

“But they could be little twin flowers!”

Lying to his mother for the second time in one short phone call didn’t make him feel particularly good, but it didn’t stop him from pointedly claiming, “I think I hear Shea calling for me, Mother! I have to go now!”

He almost began to cry when even claiming his eight months pregnant wife was calling for him didn’t stop her. “If it’s a little boy you could name him Cedar! Or Cypress. Or Oleander!”

“It’s twins, Mother,” he reminded impatiently. “It might be two little boys. Goodbye!”

He really did feel bad for hanging up, cutting off her farewells, but he was too tired of listening to her incessant rambling to care too much.

Similarly to the way he had been not an hour earlier, Shea was staring at the list hard enough his head ached. “What were your mother’s suggestions this time?” she teased when she saw him walk into the room, and she twirled an uncapped marker between her fingers.

“They were all plant names.”

“Tell me anyway?”

After a moment of annoyed grumbling, he listed off the names, rolling his eyes when she added every single one to the list as if it weren’t tortuously long already. He sidled up behind her again, massaging down her back and hips before letting his hands rest lightly on her stomach, delighting in the slight movement beneath his palms as she continued to twirl the marker and glare at the wall.

He had let his head fall on her shoulder, his face nuzzled against her neck, and his eyes had begun fluttering shut by the time she whispered to him, “You know what? I kinda like Oleander, actually.”

“I do too,” he muttered against her skin, annoyed at himself for letting his mother get in his head. He’d been so confident that they would find names on their own, without anyone else’s help. “Little Olly... We’re not doing it.”

Shea laughed, presumably at how whiny he sounded, and reached a hand up to stroke his cheek. “Middle name?”

“That… could work,” he mused as he stood up straighter and moved to face her as they talked. “But we’re not telling my mother!”

She rolled her eyes. “Are you just going to keep our children’s names a secret? Oh don’t pout,” she added as his face fell. “You know I just want to kiss you when you do.”

Grinning, he rocked forward and landed a gentle kiss on her lips, happy to oblige anytime she even thought she might want a kiss from him.

“I kind of like Azalea for a middle name too,” she admitted as he pulled away.

“Well, fine,” he whined, gesturing wildly at the list. “But picking their middle names doesn’t help if they still don’t have first names!”

“How is it that the brilliant Doctor Drakken could name all those schemes and inventions, but now can’t even name his own children?”

He grunted and crossed his arms. “How is it that the great and powerful Shego could fight off teen heroes all day but now can’t even stand up off the floor on her own?”

“I’ve got two six-pound parasites growing in my stomach,” she laughed. “What’s your excuse?”

“Nngh– I love those parasites and their host too much to risk ruining their lives with names that don’t suit them!” He snapped his gaze back to the wall, glaring at the list with growing resentment. “I don’t want them to hate me,” he mumbled after a moment. “Giving them names that they grow up and get made fun of over would be the quickest way to get them to.”

“They’re never going to hate you, Drew,” she assured him, squeezing his hand. “You’re going to be the best dad they could possibly have. Come on, let’s just forget this for a little while.”

Trying not to cry, he let her tug him to the door. “What are you doing?” he asked, giving her a watery smile and pushing his glasses aside to swipe at tears before they fell.

“We should enjoy the snow for a few minutes,” she explained, tugging her coat over her arms. She held up her boots to him, which he slid on her feet and laced up for her before getting himself ready to go outside as well.

“This might be our last childless snow,” he murmured while the two walked out into the haze of gently falling snowflakes. “And I can’t even throw snowballs at you.”

“The twins are on my snowball fight team as soon as they’re old enough!”

“Why do you get them both?”

“I just deserve it. You can have your flower help you.”

“It doesn’t like the cold!”

“Then I guess you’re just gonna lose.” She shrugged nonchalantly at him before turning her gaze up to the sky, opening her mouth to catch snowflakes on her tongue.

He really did love her. Which he supposed explained why he moved closer to whisper in her ear, “Wanna make a deal?”

“I don’t have a soul to sell. You know that.”

He laughed but shook his head. “Whoever picks the names for the twins gets them on their snowball fight team.”

“Oh,” Shea cackled, already turning on her heel. “You’re so on, nerdlinger.”

He followed after her as she walked back into the kitchen, and while she plopped herself down at the table to resume staring at the list, he made himself busy making hot cocoa moo with an extra splash of cinnamon in her mug.

“You know what?” he murmured, three cups of cocoa moo and two bags of popcorn later. His eyes burned and he felt like his brain had turned to liquid inside his head, from doing nothing more than thinking about the list for so long.

“Hmm?” came Shea’s sleepy response, half-asleep with her head on his shoulder.

“I think we should erase the list. Maybe we’ll just know what to name them when we see them. What if we decided on names and then we see our babies and they don’t look like a Rosie or a Cypress?”

“Tell you what, Doc,” she muttered. “I think that’s the first good baby name suggestion you’ve made in two months.”

Despite his objections to her statement, he made quick work of washing the list off the wall. As he turned back to her, a weight lifted off his shoulders despite the fact they never made a decision, he teased, “I suppose you were right, Shea. Lists are lame.”

[quietlydiabolic]

“Attack of the Killer Robotos” - BassRock short oneshot fanfic

By: Jixie Fandom: Mega Man Classic @bassrockweek: May 15 - Zombie Rating: G Words: 1770

There was always a sort of order amidst the chaos. For all the trouble and destruction Dr. Wily caused, he also had some sort of compulsion to do things a certain way, using certain patterns. Set zones. Defined attacks. Eight Robot Masters. The winding path through Skull Fortress.

Order amid chaos.

Which is what made this so weird.

It was… unpredictable. Haphazard. Disorderly. Mega Man knew Wily's patterns and habits like the back of his hand, but he never truly appreciated just how predictable the mad scientist was until now, when everything was— well— the best way to describe it was 'on fire'. Mostly on account of all the fires.

They had been waiting to hear from Wily, either bragging about his latest plot, or begging and simpering about how he'd lost control over it, but so far it had been radio silence. Mega Man did his best to stop the robots running amok and rescue civilians and put out fires, both literally and figuratively.

The last thing he needed was Bass showing up to brawl. He never knew if Bass was going to be on their side or in Wily's corner— it was 50/50— and their relationship was pretty nebulous, so Mega Man wasn't sure where he stood with Bass at any given time.

Lucky for him, Bass wordlessly went after the berserker robots instead of hassling Mega Man.

They fought separately for a while, until Bass shot down a Potton delivery drone that was in Mega Man's blindspot. He used that as an opening. "Thanks! Let me guess… Dr. Wily's latest scheme got out of hand?"

"Yeah."

"Another virus?"

Roboenza had caused advanced robots to go wild, while less complex ones simply ceased functioning. This time, everything had come to life, from smart blenders to self-driving vehicles (traditional and flying) to robotic vacuum cleaners.

"Nah." Bass hesitated, because it would help if Mega Man actually knew what was going on. But at the same time, Wily was still convinced he could regain control of the situation, in which case it was better if he left his rival in the dark.

He was still on the fence when Mega Man's face scrunched up in amusement, clapping a hand over his mouth, trying not to laugh and failing miserably. "Oh my goodness, is that… is that a commode?"

Blinking in surprise, Bass glanced over his shoulder, then slowly turned around. Shambling down the road was, in fact, a computerized auto-toilet.

"Oh for cryin' out loud!" Built for consumer use, a single shot was all that was needed to dispatch it, but Bass unleashed a series of rapid fire shots until the hapless appliance was reduced to scrap. "Does EVERYTHING need to be a robot? Sheesh!"

***

Everything being a robot was the problem, really. They fought their way through hordes of air conditioners units, portable terminals, coffee makers, automated tellers, electric bikes, water efficient washing machines…

…and robo-pets, unfortunately. Bass was not-so-secretly enjoying the mayhem, but even he seemed ashamed of having to put down the robotic beasts.

He decided not to fill Mega Man in on the details. It wasn't a virus. It was a remote-control satellite, only somehow Wily had bungled the command codes. Instead of making the world's machinery his loyal subjects, it had turned them into mindless attacking zombies.

But hours dragged on and it was obvious Wily hadn't got a handle on the situation. Even more worryingly, he hadn't heard from him since leaving the fortress.

While they fought to restore order, Dr. Light scrambled to figure out what was going on and how to fix it, Roll and Auto offered support, and Proto Man…

Proto Man showed up, having been off doing his own secretive machinations, tossed energy tanks to the other two, and while they refueled, took a moment to appraise the situation. "Why don't you take this fight to Dr. Wily?"

"I don't think Dr. Wily's in control," Mega Man replied, glancing at Bass. "I'm not sure stopping him will stop this," he gestured at the scene of destruction that lay before them.

"Couldn't hurt to try." The tone in Proto Man's voice suggested he knew more than he was letting on.

Chewing at his lip, Mega Man shot Bass another look. "What do you think?"

If nothing else, they could probably force Wily to shut off the satellite signal. On the one hand: mayhem. Bass didn't exactly want to stop. On the other hand: the whole thing was pretty ridiculous, there was no end in sight, and it was weird that Wily hadn't been in touch.

"Fine."

With that Bass teleported, and Mega Man facepalmed. "Darn it, you know I can't just beam directly into Dr. Wily's fort!"

"Hey, listen." Proto Man threw an arm across his back. "I'm sure Bass never mentioned anything, but this whole disaster ruined our plans."

"What? What plans?" He didn't like the sound of this. Particularly the ‘our’ part of it.

"We were going to catch a movie—"

"A movie? ‘We’? As in… the two of you? A movie?" Mega Man made no attempt to hide his disappointment. "Like a— like a date?"

His brother laughed. "No. Like a ‘trying to teach that idiot normal life skills'. It was going to be a group outing."

"Wh— a group— what group?" He was both relieved and increasingly confused. He'd never met any of Blues' friends. Had Bass? Did they have mutual acquaintances?

"Rock," Proto Man said firmly, turning so that they were face-to-face, planting both hands on Mega Man's shoulders. "Rock." He sounded tired. "Invite. Him. To. The. Movies."

There was an unbelievably awkward pause, and Mega Man gulped loudly.

"O-oh. Right."

***

Mega Man was surprised to find Bass loitering outside the fort. Something was wrong— Bass couldn't teleport inside either.

So they fought their way in the old fashioned way. The badniks inside were just as erratic and violent as the household appliances had been. Not knowing the cause of all this, Mega Man started joking around, making wild, increasingly preposterous guesses for what hare-brained plot Wily had this time.

"Is he trying to scare the public by turning their dishwashers and street sweepers against them, terrorizing them into surrendering and begging for mercy?"

"No."

"Let's see… he wanted to ruin Dr. Light's day because he won the Aperture Scientific Achievement award last week, and because he's a super-villain Dr. Wily didn't even qualify."

"No."

"This is an elaborate cover while he builds a third King, even though the last time—"

"Don't mention that name around me."

"Ummm… he's trying to collapse the economy, to start up a corporate conglomerate monopoly for all consumer gadgets?"

Bass groaned. "Please stop talking."

"He just woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning."

"No."

One of the weirdest things about all this was the complete and utter lack of Robot Masters. They got through the maze pretty quickly and found the massive arena where, under normal circumstances, Wily would attack with a massive war machine.

It was startlingly empty.

"Where is he?"

Mega Man did a double take. "You don't know?"

Gesturing for him to follow, Bass made his way deeper into the fortress. If Wily wasn't around, what was the point of trying to keep his plans secret? He guided Mega Man to one of the main control rooms, explaining the whole satellite hacking scheme along the way. Calling up Roll, Mega Man used the nearest terminal to create a network link that would allow Dr. Light to download everything he needed directly from Wily's computers.

They waited in silence, Mega Man not willing to leave until Dr. Light was good to go, and Bass unwilling to leave his rival unattended in the fortress.

"Sooooo," Mega Man said, trying to sound casual. "Did you catch the latest Revengers movie?"

"Nope." He then mumbled something about how he was supposed to, and scuffed his foot on the floor in frustration.

Weaving his fingers together, Mega Man offered a small, hopeful grin. "I haven't had a chance to see it yet, either. M-maybe after things are wrapped up here, we could go check it out…?"

It earned a derisive snort, but then Bass shrugged. "Sure, whatever. I don't care."

"Cool." Trying to hide the feeling of glee, he clapped his hands behind his head. "I wonder how they're going to resolve the whole Eternity Jewels story. It's been so hard avoiding spoilers!"

They were in the midst of debating if Atoman's screen adaption was better than the comic version when Roll called in with the all-clear.

"I'm going to go back and help Proto Man handle the zombie-bots until Dr. Light can shut off the satellite." Mega Man hesitated. "Did you want to…?"

"Nah, I gotta find out where Wily got to."

They went their separate ways, but in the middle of a surprisingly intense battle with a commercial impingement oven— able to launch projectiles from its conveyor belt with incredible speed— Mega Man received a text with a set of coordinates.

Catching his look, Proto Man nodded in understanding. "Go, I have this."

They led him to the grounds outside of Skull Fortress, where a desperate, shrieking Dr. Wily clung halfway up a tree, feet scrambling against the trunk, surrounded by three small robotic lawn mower units.

Bass stood in the distance, arms crossed, wicked grin on his face. "Hey," he said as Mega Man approached. "You don't think Dr. Light could shut down the signal to everyone except these guys, could he?"

"Maybe…"

Dr. Wily switched tactics from berating and cursing Bass to pleading with Mega Man.

"We really should help him."

Tilting his head, Bass tapped his chin and pretended to be lost in thought. "I dunno, I think he could use another half an hour up there."

Mega Man laughed. He should help Dr. Wily and take him to jail, he really should.

"…I think I'm going to let you two work this out," he said finally. "Uh, Leitersburg Cinema, 7:30?"

Glancing at him out of the corner of his eyes, Bass shrugged. "Assuming the projectors didn't go nuts, too."

"Oh, shoot!" Mega Man hid his face in his hands. "You're probably right."

But with all the attacks Wily had done over the years, most businesses had contingencies and bounced back pretty quickly. "Think they'll be up and running again by next Thursday?"

"I guess?"

"Fine. It's a date."

He knew that Bass didn't mean a date, rather that they had an agreed appointment…

…but he couldn't help wearing a stupid, goofy grin for the rest of the day.

-- -A/N: Special thanks to @s-uranet for suggestions and brainstorming.

[prodigal-ezreal]

“You know, growing up on the richer sides of Piltover surrounded by the intellectual elite does little to actually prepare you for the world. Piltover is pretty huge on knowledge, you’d think they would be swimming in stories from immigrants from far off lands and the dangers waiting past the city. I mean, Zaun is right there past the corner. But you get used to it quickly. It’s just a part of your reality that you don’t even question: There they are; the poor people with their poor people’s toxic fumes. Working their poor people’s jobs. Oh well. It’s not until you leave the city and look at it with the eyes of a foreigner that you realize how messed up that is. Now, don’t get me wrong, there’s rich neighborhoods and poor neighborhoods in all societies (Except Freljord? But they are not big on the whole ‘good neighbor’ thing). But Piltover gives you pretty bad whiplash when you come back to it after some healthy time away.

When I first left the city I was a lad of fifteen, eyes full of wonder and really to take on whatever the world threw my way!— Not. I was armed with a pocket knife and a whole lot of bravado that I still keep today, if in healthier amounts. I liked to think most people are good, and those who aren’t are pushed by the circumstance more often than not. That there are few people that are actually ‘born rotten’, as if something was evil from within their heart. I still think that today but, boy oh boy, was I wrong about the ratios! Turns out the world is very hard outside of Piltover and most won’t hesitate to cross you, kill you or rob you if you make yourself enough of a target. Or an inconvenience. Or if you just happen to be there.

It’s a tough world out there.

The first time the weight of this reality hit me was when I found myself running away from a couple of crooks that were very set on robbing me blind. I was still a kid, probably sixteen, and I kind of overestimated how much my baby face, pristine clothes that screamed new money and, well, the fact I have a huge bronze gauntlet on my left arm would stick like a sore thumb in Bilgewater. So there I was, running away from guys at least thrice my age and twice my height through streets and alleys I’d never crossed in my life, cutting corners and trying shortcuts that I prayed wouldn’t end in dead ends. My intuition helped me get rid of one of my pursuers, but my luck ran out when I came face to face with a dead end in the form of a run down, half destroyed and rotting wooden house. I couldn’t turn back and chose another way, the guy was closing im behind me too fast, so I went right inside to hide somewhere and hope he got bored of looking for me. Spoiler alert: he did not.

So there I was, absolutely terrified and running solely on adrenaline. I wasn’t used to the gauntlet yet and so I burned through my mana in the persecution. I was a sitting duck hiding inside a dark, small closet, trying to quiet my breathing but gasping for air. Exhausted, scared and with no idea what to do except wait with my heart hanging by a thread.

The old wood creaked under his weight, bending under his footsteps.

I could hear him coming close to me, heard him force the door open and completely dismiss the chair I put in a hurry to try and block it. My eyes followed his shadow across the floor, breathing in short breaths to not make a sound, hoping only I could hear my hearbeat rabitting in my ear.

There wasn’t much to look for in that ratty old place, so my hiding spot was pretty obvious. He turned towards me without hesitation, and while I am sure it took him no less than three seconds to cut the short distance between where he stood and the closet, I used that eternity to summon all the courage within me and jumped out the moment he opened the doors.

While he was way taller than me, the guy was pretty weak or fairly drunk because my tackle was enough to send us both rolling to the ground. We struggled and fought and I somehow managed to kick his gun out of his hand before he overpowered me and threw me off of him and into the wall. My back hit the wood first and my head whipped into it with enough force to leave me stunned for a second. I must have done a pretty number on him too, because when I opened my eyes he was cleaning the blood off his face and slowly standing up. I could see his chest rise and fall. he was tired too. But the sadistic glee of having his prize backed into a corner is seared into my mind. I look around me in a panic, knowing I am out of options but still hoping for a miracle.

The old revolved had landed somewhere close to me.

I made my choice.

I lunged for the gun and held it between my trembling hands, pointed, closed my eyes, and shot.

Three times I heard the deafening boom of a bullet going off.

Then silence, a ringing in my ears.

People don’t die like the comics or stories. Getting shot is not a clean death if you don’t aim it right. I didn’t aim it at all. One of the bullets hit him on the throat, right between the windpipes and and the vein.

He gasped for air, reaching to his neck. Tried to scream, but all that came was a gargled sound.

I saw him choke in his own blood. His teary eyes set on me. I think I could almost hear a cry.

It am not ashamed of what I did. I am not proud of it, either.

I’ve seen a lot of death since, sometimes related to things I do. I try to not kill people if I can get away with it, but sometimes bad guys are really bad, and sometimes it’s just two people stuck between a rock and a hard place and you are both thinking ‘better you than me’.

It’s a tough world out there. You get used to it.

[joeymozzarello]

unspoken passion

I’m writing about Tim Murphy but don’t get too excited.

it’s better if you have ‘just the way you are’ by billy joel playing on repeat in the background. trust me.

Dedicated to Madeline<3 

I made this tweet earlier and this is basically what this is:

~~+~~

“Thanks again for this,” Madeline turned to her best friend, the tall redhead in a suit that didn’t quite fit him right. He gave out a chuckle, rolling his eyes as he fiddled with one of the buttons on his blazer.

“Stop thanking me, you’re becoming a cliché,” he playfully hit her on the back making her stumble slightly forward. He laughed. “You’re so dramatic.”

The wedding reception was lively and filled with people she either didn’t know or met maybe once or twice. At least this time she wouldn’t be stuck at the singles table again. Last time, it was full of sad girls who got drunk and tried to sleep with virtually anybody and old men who no one knew. She’d spent the whole night regretting even showing up. Tim’s gaze flashed around the room, eager and childish, biting his lip, probably eager to get on the dancefloor.

There was a lot of noise, this wedding seemed a lot more lighthearted than the last she’d been to but maybe it was because this time she wasn’t alone. Tim was always the one that made things more exciting for the both of them. The bus rides to museums were always filled with the music from his mixed CDs or he’d fill scrapbooks full of cut out comic book pages and he’d create his own so that she could read them on the bus. Things like that always made her feel better, so just having him here with her made her feel a hundred times better.

She and Tim made their way to their table, this time she knew she was going to be sitting amongst friends, not only was she very close to one of the bridesmaids but also anyone Tim met ended up being his friend by the end of the night so it wouldn’t be nearly as awkward as it usually was. She’d just let Tim take the lead, do most of the talking and if necessary she’d crack a few jokes or ask a few questions but mainly, the only thing she was there to do was support her friend. Who just got married. She must be here somewhere, my friend, uh, Marie--no Joan, wait--

“Tim,” Maddie said lowly, her eyes wide and her cheeks getting slightly redder as time went by. Tim turned to her, eyebrows raised. “Whose wedding is this?” 

He burst out laughing, she hit his arm, trying to get him to stop so that not too much attention would be drawn to them. “It’s one of your friends! How am I supposed to know?”

“I don’t know, Timothy, I've been to so many lately I’m losing my mind!” 

“This is so funny.”

“Piss off,” she rolled her eyes. “Do you know or don’t you?”

“Yes, I do,” he said smugly, her face lit up, happily, that only made him giggle. “That doesn't mean I’m gonna tell you, there’d be no fun in that!” 

“This isn’t fun,” she pushed him, barely doing anything at all.

They got to the table and the first thing Tim did was shake hands with everyone there. He introduced himself, smiled, cracked a few jokes and all she could do was stand behind him and smile awkwardly. She spotted her friend, the bridesmaid, and her shoulders relaxed. “Lyn!” She shouted making Lyn look up and smile. Lyn was tall and skinny and naturally a model, she probably worked with Calvin Klein or something at the moment, Maddie couldn’t keep up.

Tim turned slightly, looking at Lyn as she budged past lots of different people with the brightest smile on her face. Tim was intrigued, he didn’t make it obvious but something about his body language made Maddie raise an eyebrow. “You’re drooling,” she scoffed. Tim jumped out of his skin and shook his head, pretending he had no idea what she was talking about.

“OMG, Maddie! I haven’t seen you in so long! How have you been?” Lyn pulled her into a hug, and Maddie happily accepted. Lyn was one of those people that connected with anyone through touch. She would take any opportunity to let you know that she’s supporting you and listening to and stuff like that. She was an overall nice person.

“I’ve been good! I saw you on a billboard last week, thought I was going crazy! You’re super popular now, we’re a long way from high school!” Maddie giggled, everything about her tone hinted at the fact that generally, she wasn’t being genuine, as much as she like Lyn, she found her a little annoying, everything with her sounded like a competition, so Maddie always had to lay down the compliments to avoid it getting annoying. Maddie turned to the overgrown boy next to her whose eyes were wide and stupidly pretty. “Tim, this is--”

“Lyn Carter,” Tim breathed. He shook himself out of his trance. “I’m a huge fan of your work, I saw what you did for all of those charities and your expedition to plant new trees in the rainforest, I really, really love what you do for the environment,” he shook her hand, her smile got brighter, a little shocked.

“That’s nice to hear, Tim, what do you do?”

“I’m a palaeontologist. I study dinosaurs,” he scratched the back of his head nervously, a blush rising on his cheeks. Madeline’s eyebrows knitted together and she cleared her throat. 

“Should we sit?”

Tim spent about an hour babbling to Lyn about the environment and basically spitting out any facts he knew or could remember, debating them with Lyn and they went back and forth for ages. Sometimes he’d turn to Maddie and rub her shoulder with a smile and ask if she was okay, to which Maddie only smiled and nodded back. In truth, she was bored out of her mind. She wasn’t even really listening to what they were saying, she’d spaced out then minutes in and had only really spoken to Mr H, the old man sitting opposite her, she’d asked him to pass her the salt because he’d been hogging and she’d been waiting for ten minutes.

Tim’s hand on her shoulder took her out of her trance, he’d stood up. He leaned down and with a smile, he said he was going to the bathroom and gave her a quick and innocent kiss on the cheek. She didn’t know why, this rarely happened but in the moment she didn’t really think much of it. 

Lyn watched Tim leave with a smile on her face and Maddie rolled her eyes. As soon as he was out of sight, Lyn squirmed and moved up onto Tim’s chair and sat next to Maddie. “Oh, my God, Mads,” she blinked with a huge grin, her mouth slightly open. “What have you done to this guy?” 

Maddie deadpanned for a minute. She wasn’t processing what Lyn had just said, it didn't make any sense. “Pardon?”

“He’s literally obsessed with you, I don’t know what you did to this man but he’s completely enchanted by you,” Lyn giggled at Maddie’s expression. “Do you seriously have no idea what I’m talking about?” 

Maddie thought about it. Tim and Lyn had been talking for an hour straight, not once to her directly, she basically felt ignored most of the time, and pitied every time Tim checked up on her. This didn’t feel like Tim was enchanted by her, mainly like he was just doing her a favour and was having a good time without her.

“Okay, let me lay it down for you--” Lyn cleared her throat, turning around to make sure he wasn’t coming back yet. “Tim brought your name up in the conversation every two sentences, he told me about fourteen stories about your childhood together, showed me a picture of you and him holding some award he won and literally zoomed in to your face to comment on the colour of your eyes. If that ain’t love,” she laughed.

Madeline didn’t say anything. She kept opening her mouth but nothing was coming out, it just felt like a rush to the head, none of it made sense. She felt a bit like she needed to chuckle or brush it off as if it were a joke but Lyn’s eyes didn’t have a trace of humour in them, just a gleam that showed some sort of glee at this discovery. “Tim isn’t in love with me,” was all Maddie could muster up. Her voice was quiet and cracked slightly and suddenly she was begging to feel a little lightheaded.

“And don’t even get me started on you and your green eye,” Lyn laughed.

“My eyes are blue,” Maddie said, confusion covering every inch of her face.

“I meant your jealous little remarks and faces! Girl, you’ve got it and you've got it bad!” Lyn pushed her shoulder playfully and Maddie didn’t move. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I don’t have anything!”

That’s when she saw Tim coming back from the bathroom, childishly pulling his trousers up and trying to frantically tuck his shirt into his pants before getting to the table. Lyn followed Maddie’s gaze and mouthed ‘here he comes’ before she moved back to her own seat and begun tucking into the food she hadn’t gotten a chance to eat yet.

Once Tim joined them once again, he didn’t sit, he just placed both of his hands on the back of Maddie’s chair and leaned forward to whisper in her ear, a crooked grin on his lips. “Wanna dance?” 

Lyn choked on her food, making both of them look up and all she did was laugh and hold up two thumbs. Maddie’s stomach dropped and she swallowed slightly, suddenly feeling very nervous. All she did was hum back and stood up, Tim’s hand snaked around her waist as he lead her to the dance floor. 

The light was blue, it felt like a school dance, barely anyone was in the middle dancing although there were a few couples scattered around the sides, gently swaying to the mellow melody of the music, Maddie suddenly felt watched. 

Don't go changing to try and please me

You never let me down before

Don't imagine you're too familiar

And I don't see you anymore

They got to the middle and Tim had a slight flush on his face as he placed his hands on her hips, biting his lip slightly, his usual smugness somehow washed away and now it was just him, vulnerable in front of her. She wrapped her arms around his neck so that their faces were really close to each other and she just watched his eyes as they seemed to scan her face. You always have my unspoken passion

Although I might not seem to care

Maddie cleared her throat. “Billy Joel, huh? This really is a wedding,” she chuckled awkwardly, Tim’s eyes flashed from hers to her lips and Maddie was looking over that fact, too anxious to think about any unspoken feeling that she may or may not have bottled up over the course of almost twenty years.

I don't want clever conversation

I never want to work that hard

I just want someone that I can talk to

I want you just the way you are

In that moment, Tim’s head ducked down and he kissed her. Maddie was caught back, completely shocked and for a moment she didn’t move. As he slowly pulled away and looked at her with what seemed like fear in his eyes--fear of having ruined something or completely misread the situation--Maddie just watched him for a couple seconds. They didn’t move. Then something came over her, something that had been hiding for so long, something that needed to be let out. With one glance at his lips, she pulled his head back down and reconnected their lips.

Memories flashed in her mind of sleepovers when they were younger and him waking up in the middle of the night sweaty and screaming and she’d have to comfort him and lull him back to sleep, his head on her chest and her hands in his hair, or memories of when she’d wear long sleeves in the summer just so Tim didn’t feel weird about being the only one, because she’d never wanted him to feel embarrassed about his scars or left out. She thought about when he comforted her when her first boyfriend dumped her so Tim took her out for ice cream at two am and talked her down to the point that she fully forgot she’d been dumped.

That was them, they were always there for each other, no matter what, when Tim was down, Maddie lifted him up and same goes for the other way around. Maddie had never really thought about anything else but really, it was there. She loved him, always had and in one way or the other something in her knew this would happen and as much as it came as a shock--it just felt right. Perfect. 

And in that moment, that’s all that she needed. No more overthinking or anything. In that moment, it was just them two. 

No one else.

As the song played, the night went on and it was perfect. 

I need to know that you will always be

The same old someone that I knew

What will it take till you believe in me

The way that I believe in you?

I said I love you and that's forever

And this I promise from the heart

I could not love you any better

I love you just the way you are

[aion-rsa]

The Suicide Squad: James Gunn Talks the Creative Freedom of That R-Rating

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

A couple of days. That’s how long director James Gunn had to wait before Warner Bros. and DC came calling in 2018. Up until that moment, it’d been a pretty turbulent July. The iconoclastic filmmaker who made audiences cry over a talking tree in Guardians of the Galaxy was just fired by Disney—temporarily as it turns out—and his name was being besmirched on social media. Yet less than 72 hours after that dismissal, WB was making him an offer that could change the face of DC superhero movies forever.

“It happened immediately,” Gunn says with a hint of lingering chagrin. “We started talking about what the project would be. The first thing that was brought up was Superman, but I didn’t know if I wanted to do that.” 

So the studio suggested a once-in-a-lifetime alternative: make whatever you want. Gunn was free to adapt “anybody out of the DC catalogue.” Somehow though, with an entire gleaming multiverse at his disposal, Gunn only had eyes for the filthiest D-listers this side of Krypton. He only wanted to make The Suicide Squad.

The team of supervillain rejects has of course been adapted before, with David Ayer’s divisive Suicide Squad coming out in 2016. The earlier movie was a hit too, grossing more than $700 million and triggering a small bout of jealousy in Gunn, who even then thought that was the only DC property he ever wanted to do. But the film left something to be desired for many fans and critics.

To be clear, there are things Gunn absolutely loves about Ayer’s movie. How could he not, when he incorporated so many of the 2016 film’s cast into his own? In Gunn’s mind, Margot Robbie was born to play Harley Quinn, which he hopes to only further highlight by bringing out her “true lunacy” in the new movie. Viola Davis’s Amanda Waller, meanwhile, was the first character he decided to put in his own film. But Gunn is unambiguous on one point: his The Suicide Squad is going to be its own 31 flavors of weird.

“It wasn’t something to contrast the first movie,” Gunn says. “It wasn’t about going through a checklist of this is good, this is bad, this works, this doesn’t… but the concept that John Ostrander started with in the comics, that these are B-grade, shitty superheroes who are considered disposable by the U.S. government and are sent out on these black-ops missions, where they probably won’t make it but who gives a shit because they’re pieces-of-shit prisoners without many skills?”

That is the movie Gunn wanted to make. And he did so with R-rated glee.

Engineered as a standalone epic that might (or might not) be a sequel to the 2016 movie, Gunn’s The Suicide Squad is, in essence, meant to be a spiritual continuation of comic book writer Ostrander’s seminal 1980s run with the team. Davis’ Waller is still the government’s shady lady pulling the strings and recruiting incarcerated sad sacks to do the wet work law enforcement won’t; her point man on the ground remains Rick Flag (Joel Kinnaman), a straight arrow surrounded by coerced supervillains, including familiar faces like Robbie’s delightfully demented Harley, plus new ones such as Idris Elba’s Bloodsport.

The genre Gunn and his cohorts compare this to is war movies, but who they’re going to war against isn’t exactly clear. With that said, recent marketing revealed a comic book deep cut, with the 1950s space alien, Starro, running amok at kaiju-size.

“Starro is hilarious because he’s ridiculous. He’s a giant, cerulean blue starfish, but he’s also fucking terrifying,” Gunn says. “When I was a kid I thought that was the scariest thing of all time… and I think that exemplifies what this movie is: it is ridiculous and it’s also terrifying, and serious. So he works really well as the villain of the movie—as one of the villains, actually.”

Ironically, the real antagonists of The Suicide Squad might simply be the flick’s main characters, and Gunn is using the motley crew to unleash his distinctive voice. With an absurdly large cast to pick from, the director has carte blanche from WB to kill any character he wants, and to embrace any level of weirdness. And unlike the 2016 film, or his previous Guardians movies, The Suicide Squad is a big budget superhero flick with an R-rating. A first for Gunn.

“Most of my movies have been R-rated,” Gunn laughs when we mention this. He is, after all, a filmmaker who cut his teeth at indie grindhouse distributor Troma Studios, and has a history with tongue-in-cheek horror movies like Slither. But whether it’s making an R-rated Suicide Squad movie or a PG-13 Guardians picture, it’s all the same to him: telling the biggest-ass version of a campfire yarn.

“This is simply a little bit of a higher age bracket,” he explains, “and my audience is a little bit different. They can see a shark tearing someone in half, they can see a penis. It doesn’t matter.” Even so, there remains a sense of human connection among a number of broken Squad members. And those without that vulnerability still allow the storyteller to broaden the moral spectrum he’s playing with.

“I think you know from the beginning of the first Guardians that most likely, in his heart, Peter Quill is good, Gamora is good, Rocket is good, Drax is good.” But with the Suicide Squad, “some are not good people. They’re bad people. It’s less sentimental in that way. King Shark is much less sentimental than Groot.”

And some of these bad people will die in presumably horrible ways. Not that Gunn is killing his darlings lightly.

“The first thing I had to do was ignore the potential blowback from killing a character,” Gunn says. Instead he focused on following the natural progression of the story, and the natural progression of a character’s arc. “I’m just the servant of the story, so whatever the story says is what I’m going to do, no matter what the repercussions are for anything. I believe in the truth of the story. I believe that there was a story out there that needed to be told that I don’t have any control over.”

Perhaps ceding that control is the greatest advantage he’s discovered from making a gross, foul-mouthed superhero movie exactly to his liking.

“I wanted to do the things that other spectacle films haven’t been able to do,” Gunn says, “which is really take my time and investigate these characters, get to know them, focus on the character aspects, focus on who they were, and deal with time in a different way than it’s been dealt with in these movies.”

Gunn is thus able to let his movie breathe in a way that’s unusual for the superhero genre, but is in line with the more adult-oriented filmmaking he loved as a child. The Suicide Squad may be a war movie, but for Gunn it’s a specific type of throwback. Quick to name The Dirty Dozen and The Great Escape, he becomes audibly excited when discussing those 1960s “war-caper” films from his youth. Recapturing that men-and-women-on-a-mission aesthetic is as much the appeal of the movie as honoring Ostrander’s comics. He even refers to Elba’s Bloodsport as his Steve McQueen.

“He’s the unsentimental portrayal of a 1960s action hero but without the moral repercussions of those characters,” says Gunn. Also, he notes, Bloodsport is the guy who shot Superman with a kryptonite bullet. “How cool is that? And also, what a dick!” When contrasted with Robbie’s Harley Quinn, Gunn even likens the pair’s energy to an Abbott and Costello routine, only now Costello might kill you with a bat.

But then, each of the Squad members represent their own genre. They also each leave the door open for further exploration. Hence Gunn’s next project is still not Guardians 3, but rather an HBO Max TV series starring one of the nastiest pieces of work in The Suicide Squad: John Cena’s Peacemaker.

Describing the jingoistic flag-waver as if Marvel’s Captain America took a really far-right turn, Gunn saw Peacemaker as the perfect jumping off point when HBO approached him about doing a series.

“I think that the actual inspiration for Peacemaker was the shitty 1970s Captain America TV shows that I loved when I was a child,” Gunn says. “And I think Peacemaker exemplifies a lot of things about society that are going on politically, and what people’s beliefs are about America and the world. So being able to tell those stories that are slightly more socially conscious in their essence, but also outlandish, he lends itself to that.”

Exploring this week-to-week with Cena—an actor whose range Gunn believes audiences have only seen a fraction of—is irresistible. In fact, Peacemaker might mark another significant turning point in Gunn’s career.

Says the filmmaker, “I love doing Peacemaker. I could see just making TV shows after Guardians 3. It’s a possibility.”

Three years since Gunn’s one very bad week, the possibilities now seem limitless.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

The Suicide Squad opens on Aug. 6 in theaters and HBO Max. We’ll have more from our interview with James Gunn in the coming weeks.

Check out more on The Suicide Squad in the latest issue of Den of Geek!

The post The Suicide Squad: James Gunn Talks the Creative Freedom of That R-Rating appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3aGIJas

[goddamnmuses-a]

Dan Watches Crisis Part 4&5

Alright so.. Gonan just write some things here in the breaks.. obviously spoilers so.. under le cut. 

Because I’m writing these after big chunks of watching i’ll have forgot stuff and im on a time limit before it starts again so.. yeah if i forget to mention stuff it’s me brain farting. 

Part 4

Oliver as the Specter is pretty cool

I like the Monitor origin thingy

HOLY SHIT EZRA MILLER WAAAH!!!??? I can’t believe they did this.

Lex, the universe is literally ending, can you maybe make sure it doesnt end before you take it over?

Paragon of Humanity is also pretty good i cant remember his name though, I wanna say Kevin Tran but pretty sure thats his supernatural character :P

Kinda liking the whole going back to previous scenes thing and It’s not like fucking up any timelines because it’s like.. a memory? it’s weird but they’ve vaguely bullshitted enough for me to buy it. 

Also I kinda hope Oliver stays the Specter.. not ready for him to be gone for ever.. Also Constantine deals with the Specter from time to time soo fun. 

Is it Specter or Spectre ... I wanna say Spectre but Specter feels better to type. 

So Lex could just be like “Don’t do it” but instead he’s like “Do it and work for me!”

The Turning.. Yes this is me talking about an advert for a movie now.. Is The Turning just like a horror movie where the Adams Family hire a nanny? 

Americans have to deal with so many more ads than the English.. it���s ridiculous. 

Still liking Kevin Tran. 

Kinda dumb they had to get through to Mar Novu for it to not matter at all 

Oliver has major Obiwan vibes

Antimonitor looks cool.

The guys without powers who just punch the ghost things.. idk about how that looks. 

Awwh Oliver died :(

Part 5

Merged Earths now?

FFS Lex. I feel like a disappointed Parent.

Merged Earths now! Woop Woop

Marv, you legend. Marv for president. 

Imagine if in the Flash movie they play the scene from Part 4.. i’d maybe watch it. 

Jon’s the best boy, doing his bit to bring peoples memories back. 

Awwh no Dig don’t cry! Nooo. This is not Diggity. 

Yo but you know.. maybe Google the spectre.. try both spellings.. just in case? 

Yeaaah fuck you Nash you son of a Reverse Flash bitch

Yo Sara, Everyone and not Oliver is better than nobody at all, maybe be a little bit relieved, just a little bit? 

Oh fuck it’s Beebo!

I used to have a crush on a girl named Sara but it was pronounced like Sar-ah not Ser-ah... Like Sahara ... it’s hard to explain through text. 

 Someone needs to go check on Black Lightning and Lucifer and like other Earth people just to check. I’ll watch a whole hour of someone being like “Maybe the Titans are here now?”.. “Nope.. What about Smallville?”...”Nope.. What about..” and so on. 

Fuck you Chick Fil A I’m so hungry and you’re not over here. 

We stan Rebecca. 

The fact they call team ups crossovers is both wonderful and offputting and idk how i feel bout it

Yay Batwoman!

Damn right Beebo is off limits. 

Nash, redemption time, work on it. 

Remember everyone, Oliver Queen died for our sins. 

Nash’s wrist thing reminds me of a pip boy. 

Now they’re all on the same earth can we get more weird relationships with characters who were on different earths before. 

OH SHIT A GHOUL

oh apparently called shadow demons

OH NO RYAN.. .. You’ll always be Kevin to me. 

Kevin Tran is the atom in the comics too because like.. i googled him a while ago. 

Microverse trademark issues.. heh.

HOW HAS BARRY NOT SEEN IRIS YET? 

They should have had Booster Gold at the start of time just like “Huh so this is what it was like” and then he just leaves. 

WTF was that old spice ad? 

I just realised theres gonna be so many more notes for this part because like.. it’s the end and i’m having after thoughts from the first part. 

I’m also getting rly tired now as it’s 2:39am here. I accidentally wrote 2:£9 then and £ does just kinda look like a backwards 3 

Does anyone wanna go to the Daytona 500 with me? You pay for it, and my flight, and my food and hotel and everything else and I’ll show up, maybe... tbh it’s not my kinda thing.. but free holiday!

AND THE SHOWS BACK ON

Loving Jons new look. 

Am i going to ship Mick and “Frosty” now? 

Yooooo This is for the streets Black Lightnings back!

What if they just pretended to surrender and then shanked him when he wasnt looking. 

Also i saw this fight in a behind the scenes thing that i think was leaked 

We got a big boy. 

So Sara and Kate are gonna fuck at some point right.. or already have in this new earth timeline

Yo where is like.. Cisco and Wally West and Lightning and Thunder and.. c’mooonnnnn crossover.

Tiny Superman is pretty good.

How come there was no Atom crawling up the Antimonitors butthole theory? 

So.. Antimonitor shrunk to death.. we all good now? 

Clark has sons!?

Diggle has a daugher too.. forgot to question that.... 

They couldn’t quickly get every single DC actor to do that moments silence? 

Ohhh okay so Multiverse still exists and thats the other shows they cant rly crossover 

Justice League being formed? 

Also cool that green lantern and swamp thing got mentioned at all tbh

... If this is Justice League being formed.. feels weird with no Batman 

Mia should really be here for this somehow to actually be the Green Arrow?

WTF IS A GLEEK.. other than a fan of Glee

Just googled what Gleek is and I think it’s a good place to end.. 

Leaving you.. with this mother fucker. Night!

...Fucking Gleek. 

[darkhymns-fic]

The Rebel and the Captain

An AU based on the concept of Asgore having died from the buttercups pie instead of just getting food poisoning, leaving Toriel to rule the Underground by herself.

Fandom: Undertale Characters: Undyne, Papyrus, Gerson, Toriel Rating: G Mirror Links: AO3 Notes: Written by Sky.  Special thanks to my Discord friends for all their encouragement and inspiring me to write this alternate universe story. Small reference to this comic. (It is a good comic, check it out.)

Ever since King Asgore was poisoned by the first fallen human, the Underground has been full of tension. Queen Toriel decreed that all humans be treated with kindness, and that no violence may befall them. In fact, it is said that she has cared for the previous humans that fell, just as she had done with the human that had murdered her beloved King.

The Rebels disagreed with this edict, vowing to gather the human souls to break through the barrier and finally be free. The Rebels believed in fighting for what's right, while the Queen vehemently opposed them with her Royal Captain and her guards.

Undyne, the Rebel Leader, believes in their cause. But a certain skeleton has been getting in her way lately...

The wind was howling.

Queen Toriel shuddered. She looked to the small crack above, and noticed dark clouds gathering on the outside world. A storm was coming. It would be violent, certainly. It was times like this that she was glad they stayed Underground. If only the other monsters could understand the dangers.

She took a sip of her tea. Still too bitter. Her eyes fell upon the old king’s throne, now covered in a sheet, placed away in the corner of her garden. It wasn’t dusty. She cleaned it regularly. She wouldn’t allow it to dirty.

While the outside world may have been cold and angry, the garden seemed happy today. A few flowers disobeyed and wilted here and there, while others might have grown far too large, but for the most part, they listened to her. Toriel never could quite handle the flowers the same way he could.

Despite it all, it was another good day in the Underground. Maybe she’d visit her royal scientists today and see their progress! Those two always seemed so happy to see her. Truth be told, they never failed to brighten her day either. Especially Sans.

A cold wind bit into her fur. She shivered, finding her eyes had fallen upon the empty throne yet again. She fought the urge to apologize.

An explosion boomed into her sensitive ears, causing the Queen to flinch. Thunder?

“YOUR HONOR!” The sound grew louder. “YOUR HONOR!”

Toriel let out a sigh of relief. With a polite smile, she greeted the knight. “Yes, Captain Papyrus? Something to report?”

The knight’s heavy armor clanked and jingled all while his bones rattled to the rhythm of his jogging. As usual, the bone white chest piece was polished to an excruciatingly bright sheen, capable of blinding any who might dare to stare at it too long.

“YOUR HONOR!” Papyrus boomed, his voice muffled under his helmet. Strangely, the helmet was shaped almost exactly like his actual skull. With a huff, he removed his skull helmet, revealing what appeared to be the exact same face. “INCREDIBLE NEWS, YOUR HONOR!”

Toriel flinched again, his voice now even louder without the helmet. She never could bring herself to correct the knight that it was ‘your majesty’ and not ‘your honor.’ She cleared her throat, attempting to sound more royal. Papyrus liked that. “What news do you bring, Captain?”

Of course, nearly every day Papyrus came bursting in with ‘incredible news’ about how a cat monster was stuck in a tree, or how Shyren was holding a concert, or how well his pet rock was doing that day. Toriel did not mind. She handpicked the tall excitable skeleton after all.

Under her rein, it was imperative that all humans be treated with the same respect and dignity as any other monster. Papyrus had proven to be one of the most hardest-working and gentle souls she had ever met. He was always very eager to help any monster in need, and often created enjoyable puzzles for future humans (or monsters) to solve. Queen Toriel, of course, made sure every puzzle was safe! She would often even help Captain Papyrus create new enjoyable puzzles for the kids.

In her eyes, no one could be better suited for the job of keeping the peace. Yet still, the wind howled. Toriel did fear for his safety at times. She had hoped the armor he designed would be strong enough to protect him from any harm.

As if waiting for her inner monologue to finish, Papyrus bowed before Toriel. She usually would never allow anyone to bow before her, but Papyrus seemed to really enjoy the authenticity. “YOUR HONOR, THERE’S BEEN REPORTS OF A HUMAN!”

Her royal façade shattered. That smile faltered. “A… human?” she repeated dumbly. Her next words were only audible to her. “Already?”

Papyrus looked up at her, his eyes glistening with heroic sparkles. “YES! HOW EXCITING! I CAN’T WAIT TO MEET THEM! BUT, I FIGURED I SHOULD TELL YOU FIRST!”

Toriel’s thoughts whirled like the storm above. While she did not fear the human, she did fear the consequences. Not all monsters were so keen on staying in the Underground. Not all monsters wished to treat humans with kindness.

“WELL IF YOU’LL EXCUSE ME, YOUR HONOR, I HAVE A HUMAN TO CAPTURE!” He paused then added: “AND ESCORT SAFELY TO YOUR HOME!” In a flash, he donned his skull helmet and ran towards the garden’s exit, his red scarf fluttering with glee behind him.

“Papyrus, wait!” she called out.

Thunder boomed, and her voice was drowned out by the muffled ‘NYEH HEH HEH’s in his helmet. Before she could give chase, he was already gone. Toriel looked back to her home. She would need to prepare.

Her eyes fell to the old throne once more. She prayed he would be all right.

.

.

.

She hated it here.

“hOI! i’M tE-”

“You’re Temmie, I know,” Undyne groaned as she strolled past the various vibrating monsters. She pointed at the Temmie next to the first and the ones next to that one. “And you’re Temmie, and you’re Temmie, and you’re Bob. I know. I’ve been coming here every day for years, and you all say the same damn thing.”

The Temmies grew silent, looking amongst each other. Finally, they stood still. Maybe she had gotten through to them?

“hOI! i’M tEMMIE!”

Undyne threw her claws in the air. “Ngaaaaah!!” Despite her threatening motions, the Temmies continued to stare and vibrate like always.

Temmie Village bustled with various Temmie activity, as usual. Hungry Temmies lined up at the shop to buy their Tem Flakes, using their own Tem Flakes as currency. Temmies chattered amongst Temmies about their rich deep Temmie lore with zero details past that. It was the same maddening process every day.

Undyne shook her head and tried to ignore it. She ducked and crawled through a small hole in the cave’s wall, and as usual, she had the most distinct scale crawling feeling of being watched. Every time. As she stepped out into the secret room, sweaty grunts entered her fishy ears.

“Hello, Undyne ;),” Aaron winked, his muscles glistening with way too much sweat. He flexed next to a pair of dumbbells, practicing for anyone that might challenge him. He was the perfect defense to keep the Temmies away. mUSCLES r nOT cUTE!

“Hey, Aaron,” Undyne waved. She was always glad to have him around, even if he wasn’t part of the cause. A flexing challenge usually helped with any stress she might be feeling. However, today wasn’t the day for flexing. Something was in the air. Her spear hand tensed, itching to be used.

Looking past a pair of worn and possibly angry-looking dummies, Undyne found herself at the Rebel Base. It wasn’t too showy, and it didn’t need to be. The base’s wooden boards were rickety and scratched after generations of use, but somehow this old thing managed to stay standing. Inside held several tables and chairs, some holding unfinished card games, others Nice Cream wrappers and old burnt doggy treats. Weapons of all kinds lined the walls, from spears with dog faces, to matching his/her axes. It was a sty that desperately needed some cleaning, but that was for another time.

The Rebels formed themselves many years before Undyne was even born. They had been a part of the Underground since anyone could remember. If Undyne had been the leader back then, she would have named it something cooler, but apparently it was named in honor of old King Asgore who was never great at names.

It's been told that the poor guy died due to food poisoning by flowers from his old garden. Sad way to go. Worst part was the King’s own adopted human kid was the perpetrator. Killed himself, and his dad. The King’s blood related son died soon after as well, although not much information is known about that. More than likely that human’s doing as well.

The Queen wanted everyone to forget it happened, wanted to pretend that humans did nothing wrong. As if the humans weren’t responsible for banishing them underground like they were diseased mutants, jailing them and tossing away the key. And some monsters did forgive and forget. But not everyone. Not the Rebels. They wouldn’t forget what the humans did, and they wouldn’t forgive so easily either. It was shortly after the old King’s death that the Rebels had formed, demanding for a change. It was at that time the group was at its absolute largest, too. That was a long time ago though.

The Queen passed an order to everyone in the Underground to treat any potential human like they would any other monster. With kindness and respect. Undyne spat just thinking of it. The Queen thinks it’s better to stay Underground! She doesn’t care about the overcrowding, she doesn’t care that they’ll never see the outside world, see the stars.

But the Rebels do.

Undyne moved through a door, her dirty boots squeaking against the floorboards. The old Rebel leaders stared at her through their painted canvases, their will for a better monster life filling her with determination. They worked hard, they kept these old tales intact, and now it was up to Undyne to keep them strong.

Past the paintings, past another set of old doors, Undyne made it to her seldom used office. It was a dingy little place, papers and maps strewn about haphazardly. On her desk, a half-eaten Crab Apple lay, nearly rotten, and mostly forgotten. She pushed that and her old cup of Sea Tea over onto the floor, her claws reaching underneath.

With a satisfying click! And the whirring of an old antique machine, a secret compartment opened in one of the moldy walls.

She wanted to see them again today. She needed to remember…

She had both her eyes back then. Strangely enough, it felt harder to see.

Like most monsters, Undyne had lived in New Home. Of course, back then, she had no home, no parents to speak of. She couldn’t remember them either, nor did she wish to. Sadly, this wasn’t entirely uncommon. New Home was (and still is) overcrowded. Undyne knew the other kids without parents or homes as well, and she liked them. Queen Toriel tried to set up homes and schools for any homeless monsters, but it simply wasn’t enough.

That’s not to say Undyne was unhappy. Even as a little street urchin, she enjoyed finding a new hole to sleep in, new places to explore, new food to steal. Sometimes things could get a little dire. Sometimes she’d go a day or two without eating, but it was okay. Sometimes the weaker monsters couldn’t steal like she could. Even as a child, Undyne would give up her snacks for the few that couldn’t get their own. It was all right. Queen Toriel was doing her best, they’d say. She did a good job, they’d say.

While there was always plenty of room in places like Snowdin or Hotland, most monsters simply could not live in those climates. So most lived in New Home. New areas were being dug out by the Queen’s orders every day, but it wasn’t enough. But it was okay. She was trying her best. Some were unhappy. Some wanted to leave the Underground. That just wasn’t possible. Some were afraid to criticize the Queen’s decision, and Undyne didn’t blame them.

“I hate it here!” A monster child said, looking up at the cavern’s looming stalactites. “I want to see the outside! I want more room to play!”

Undyne growled then, her little scaly hands turned to fists. “You watch what you say about the Queen!”

She forgot what the child looked like. “What do you care about her? You live on the streets!”

She remembered growing angry then, ready to hit the opposing child. Her dirty fangs grit together. “I don’t care! I like it here!”

She didn’t forget what the child had said. “Well, you might like it here, but I don’t!”

Undyne’s stomach growled. Two days had passed again, and she had eaten nothing more than a morsel. It was getting harder and harder to steal from shops. Most places knew her now, ready for “that scaly street urchin.” Ugh, why did she share that bisicle with that dirty little cat and alligator.

Because they were hungry, too. She had to help them. Who else would?

The stone buildings of New Home felt so much bigger back then. She couldn’t understand it at her age. How could it be so crowded when the buildings were so big? She remembered vividly pushing through Froggits, dodging through Whimsalot’s fluttering wings, and sliding by slimy moldsmals. A normal day in New Home.

“Wah hah hah! Thank you kindly!” A scratchy old voice rose above the usual chatter of the monster filled street. Undyne couldn’t help but grin. Hopefully, whoever this guy was, he had some food.

Ignoring a Loox’s cries, “Don’t bully me!” Undyne nimbly hopped off their head and onto a soft striped awning, above the crowded streets. From up here, she could see her target clearly, just across the way. He was busy with a customer.

“Wah hah hah!” She remembered thinking back then how genuine his laughter felt. Her child mind didn’t know how to put it into words, and her growling belly fogged her thoughts. He was just some old turtle, selling weird crab shaped apples and tea on a flimsy wooden stand. Focusing harder, she noticed the old turtle’s eye stayed permanently shut.

Perfect. How could anyone with only one eye be strong?

His wispy old beard reminded her of the wizards that other monsters talked about. Liver spots littered his grey green scales like gross puddles on the street. The old man barely even had any teeth left! What teeth he did have were misshapen and ugly. Probably couldn’t even eat the apples he was selling. Really, she’d be doing him a favor with her theft!

With a hop, she was back among the river of monsters, swimming through their bodies with ease. With all the monsters about, there was no chance he’d see her.  Soon she was under the stand, her little body not even tall enough to see over it.

“Wah hah hah! Careful with all that nothing ya bought!” The old voice laughed as an unpleased monster left. This was Undyne’s chance. In a quick motion, she snatched an apple in one claw, and stole a nice cup of tea in the other. There was no way he noticed, it was too busy. She didn’t even need to run.

Undyne quickly took a bite out of the apple. Fruity and savory. The texture was soft like crab meat. Grinning, she drank from the cup, tasting a delicious sweet and salty liquid. Things just tasted so much better when you were hungry! Especially free food. This might have been the easiest meal she had gotten in a while, too!

“Woah there!” A wrinkly hand grabbed her by the scruff of her tattered striped shirt. “Scuse’ me little missy, but I think ya forgot to pay! Wah hah hah!” His grip was rough, holding her a little too tight, betraying that genuine laugh. The crowd of monsters gave the old man space, like a rock cutting a river in two.

Undyne whirled around, clutching the food and drink like her life depended on it. It probably did. “I didn’t forget!” she yelled, angry that this old man was defending his stolen goods. “Leave me alone!” Her hands full, she snapped her fangs at his fingers, expecting him to flinch and let her go.

Instead, she found her mouth full of gross salty old scales. Her fangs were sharp and pierced through his arm like they were rusty shields. He didn’t so much as flinch.

“Must be mighty hungry, aint ya?” He said, his lone eye wide, staring deep into her. She wouldn’t admit it then, but it frightened her. He saw too much. Saw through her. “But I’ll have to ask ya to at least eat the apple before ya start eating me, wah hah hah!”

Undyne growled and struggled, tossing little curled claws at the arm. No one could hold her! No one! No one had ever stopped her before! “Let me go!” she screeched.

Like the old man’s laugh, his frown, too, was genuine. Annoyed. “Calm down, ya little urchin!”

Maybe it was respect. Maybe it was fear. But Undyne stopped biting and punching, and stared up at the old man, still defiant.

His frown vanished, replaced again with that warm, half toothy smile. “Much better! Now, what ya did just now was mighty wrong, ya know.” He nodded. “Where’s your parents, little urchin?”

“I don’t got any!” Undyne yelled, on the verge of tears she was so angry. She never cried. “I don’t need any!”

His eye blinked. Again, he stared. Stared into her. Too deeply. She couldn’t help but shiver. An odd noise escaped his dry lips. “Well, either way, you can’t be goin’ around stealing from people, ya hear?” He looked over to his stand, forcing Undyne to see as well. A huge dark weapon gleamed, blunt, and black. Probably even older than this old man. “People call me the Hammer of Justice, ya know.”

So, it was a fight then, huh!? Undyne was no stranger to fights. She dropped the tea onto the stone concrete and reached for a nearby stick. It was more like a twig really. “Yeah!? Well!...” She gripped the branch hard, feeling it already crumbling in her claws. “I’m the Spear of Justice! I’m not afraid of you!” She pointed the little leafy thing directly at his one good eye.

The old turtle stared at the little girl before him, brandishing an old stick. In an instant, his grip on her faltered, and his laughter boomed again. “WAH HAH! HAH!”

She was free now. She could have run away. The old man could barely control himself, slapping his scaly old knees and wheezing like a fool. She could have escaped. “What’s so funny?!” Undyne demanded, shoving her stick closer to his shell, threatening to poke it. She didn’t like being laughed at.

Undyne moved to Waterfall soon after. Gerson’s home was always available to her, anytime she pleased. Whenever she returned, she always found the bed neatly made, a fresh crab apple, and sea tea sitting nearby.

She much preferred Waterfall over New Home. Undyne would spend most of her years growing up, and picking fights in the dark, damp caves, enjoying the watery lakes spread throughout. She even made friends for once. Maybe Gerson was a good influence on her. Maybe she just didn’t need to fight as much as she had at New Home.

Dogamy, Dogaressa, Doggo, Greater Dog, and Lesser Dog. They were just pups back then, but they were rambunctious and excitable. They followed Undyne around, and she was all too happy to pet and roughhouse with their seemingly unlimited energy. Others might look at her funny when she went to the cold frigid lands of Snowdin to visit the dogs, but even as a kid, she’d beat up anyone who talked smack about her or her friends.

“When I grow up, I’m gonna join the Royal Guard!” Undyne roared, readying a heroic stance against little Dogamy and Dogaressa. Even back then, they were inseparable.

Dogamy held his plastic toy axe in front of Dogaressa, his fangs showing in a mock growl. Dogaressa sported a similar stance, but her teeth looked sharper, her growl more menacing. “I’m gonna join them too! (I’ll be the Captain of the Royal Guard!)”

Doggo stood under a snowy tree, smoking his dog treats. It was a bad habit he had learned early on, and he hid it from his parents well. Undyne and the others swore they would never tell on him. Greater Dog and Lesser dog simply looked on the mock fight, tongues lolling and tails wagging.

Undyne cackled, her light green spear shimmering in her hand. It faded in and out, as she hadn’t quite learned how to control it fully yet. “No way! I’m gonna be the captain! And I’ll destroy the Rebels myself!” With a bit too much force, she pushed Dogamy into the fluffy white snow.

His eyes lit up with tears, while Dogaressa’s lit with rage. “Owwwwooo!! (Why’d you push him so hard?!)”

In her excitement, she forgot that it was Dogaressa who was more okay with roughhousing. She didn’t mean to make him cry. “Well, maybe he shouldn’t be such a baby!”

At the very least, Dogaressa made for a great opponent afterwards. Undyne couldn’t even remember who won that fight. Probably Undyne. Yeah.

The first time she met Queen Toriel was strange. Undyne had always heard of her, but never seen her in person. There were so many people to meet, so many people to help, she never quite had the time to see them all. Undyne remembered holding the Queen up on some unrealistic pedestal, but then again, most everyone did.

Toriel was tall. Very tall. Undyne was impressed. She must be so strong! She must be unstoppable! Her feet crunched in the snow as she waved goodbye to the people in Snowdin. Undyne and the dogs hid stealthily behind the trees, watching her every move. Once Toriel thought she was out of sight, her smile broke, and a deep sad frown washed over her muzzle. Undyne didn’t think much of it back then.

All she knew was she had to defeat the Queen. If she could fight the Queen and win, she’d be the strongest in all the Underground! Everyone would know it! The Queen would be so impressed, she’d make Undyne Captain of the Royal Guard right there! It was perfect! Her little heart pounded in anticipation, her spear hand clenching and unclenching.

The Queen drew near, and Undyne knew it was the perfect time to strike. “Ngaaah! Stop right there!” She roared, leaping in front of the immense monster before her. The dogs stood behind her, tails wagging, toy weapons at the ready.

The Queen let out a small noise of shock, clearly impressed with Undyne’s cunning. “Oh, goodness!” She breathed a sigh of relief, as if worried it might have been something worse. “Hello there, children!” Her smile then was so warm and so comforting. Something Undyne never understood. It made her heart heavy.

Focusing her energy, Undyne clenched at the spear in her hand. She wouldn’t let it fade out of existence now! She needed her full power! “I’m Undyne, the Spear of Justice! I demand you fight me!” She had practiced that line many times just in case of such an occasion.

The Queen blinked, appearing confused. She didn’t take a battle stance.

Undyne wouldn’t take no for an answer. “Fight me, now!” She cried, leaping forward towards the Queen.

In a swift movement, the Queen snatched up Undyne, halting her heroic charge. “Now now, my child!” She said, her eyes glowing with great power yet also a warm gentleness. “Fighting is wrong.”

The words felt like a stab to the gut. Instantly the spear blinked out of her hand. Undyne’s body felt limp, weak. “Wrong?” she repeated dumbly.

The Queen nodded with the sternness of a parent Undyne never knew. “That’s right. Fighting is bad. In the Underground, we talk through our problems, and we never hurt anyone. Hurting someone else is wrong. You must only be kind.”

Undyne couldn’t believe it. Her mind faltered, seemed to drown in a whirlpool of conflicting thoughts. She meant to speak, but words wouldn’t come out.

Am I a bad person?

Queen Toriel saw the effect her words had on Undyne. She frowned. However, something in the distance compelled her to move quickly. She put down the little fish girl gently, noting that the dogs had also backed down. “Oh, my children…” she sighed. It appeared she wanted to stay longer, but simply couldn’t. “I am not angry with you. I mean only for you to learn kindness.”

Undyne couldn’t even look up at her.

“Here, my child,” the Queen said after a moment. “Please, take this.” She gently placed a plate into Undyne’s claws, a warm fluffy piece of pie seemingly floating atop it. Where did the Queen keep this?

Again, the Queen looked out into the distance. Quickly, she knelt, close to Undyne’s eye level. Those fiery red eyes stared deep into hers, and she could feel a strange invading judgement again. Toriel licked her index finger and gently rubbed a dirty scrape off Undyne’s face. With a sigh, she shook her head and went down the snowy road.

The pie was delicious, but left a bitter aftertaste.

She went home to Gerson later that day. Undyne didn’t mind sleeping out on her own usually, but she felt strange. She stared at the cave floor instead of looking forward. She couldn’t make her spear appear at all anymore.

“Wah hah hah!” Gerson greeted with his usual laugh. “Hey there, little urchin!”

She moved past his store’s stand and to the bed at the end of the room. She flicked the little blue mushroom light on. With a sigh she said, “Hey, Gerson,” and bit into her Crab Apple. It tasted sour compared to the pie she had earlier.

Gerson may have had only one eye, and that eye barely worked, but he could always see through her. Back then, it felt like some kind of superpower to little Undyne. How could he know she was feeling bad? It was because he was a hero, of course!

No, she was just really obvious.

“What’s wrong?” Gerson asked, a toothy old smile on his wrinkled face. “I’ve never seen the Stick of Justice look so sad before! Wah hah!”

Undyne growled. “Spear of Justice! I’m the Spear!”

“Wah hah hah! Believe me, I haven’t forgotten!” He laughed again.

But instead of shouting further, Undyne just bit into her soft apple again. Gerson frowned. Usually his teases got her out of any funk she was in.

For a while, the two listened to the gentle drips and drops of Waterfall. The echoes and the echo flowers flowing together with little droplets, sounding like a cascade of water all around. She wasn’t sure why she said what she said next.

“Grandpa,” Undyne cringed, usually avoiding calling him that. He didn’t tease her for it. Merely moved closer. Then the words simply spilled out. “Am I a bad person?”

Gerson let out a grunt of surprise. “What! No! No, of course not my little urchin!” His cracked and scaly hands patted her head gently, a strange yet comforting feeling. “Why, you’re the Spear of Justice, remember! Why would you ever think that?”

Undyne hated this feeling. The words kept spilling out, falling into the cave, the echo flowers nearby mocking her every step. She didn’t want to say them, but it kept happening. “I… um… Queen Toriel…”

Gerson’s eye widened, he had probably already figured out what happened.

“She told me fighting was bad. But I love fighting, Gran-er, Gerson! Is it—is it really wrong to fight?” She hesitated, a little hiccup escaping. She wasn’t crying! “I had to fight, sometimes! I had to!” She paused. “Didn’t I?”

Gerson let out a groan and scratched the back of his head. “Ahh, well, Undyne…” he sighed. “Don’t let ol’ Toriel get to you like that.” She noticed then, how he never referred to her as the Queen. “She’s a good lady! A very good lady! She knows what’s best for us, for sure!” He kept scratching his head. “She’s been through a lot. She tries her best.”

Undyne didn’t understand. She looked up at the old turtle who for once fumbled over his words. “I don’t think she knows,” Gerson went on. “That sometimes fighting is the only way. Maybe she just refuses to think that now.”

“Does that mean…” Gears turned in her little cranium, and she never forgot this moment. “The Queen is wrong?”

His head sure seemed itchy. Couldn’t stop scratching at it. “Ah, well!” Gerson was at a loss. “Nobody’s perfect, my little urchin! But…” He stopped scratching finally and looked back to Undyne, a big goofy grin on his face. “If she thinks you’re bad for fighting, then she’s as wrong as wrong can be! Wah hah hah! I know you’re a good little girl, and I know you’ll be a hero when you grow up! Fighting or not!”

Undyne took a sip of her sea tea. The sweetness energized her.

He never did agree on her joining the Rebels, though. But he still supported her, in his own way.

Undyne found herself in the present again. Her empty eye socket felt cold, the skin beneath her eyepatch irritated. The thing in her claws felt smooth, yet still tough. She eyed it harshly, touching it with a hate filled gentleness. She could crush it. Destroy it right there. But she needed it. They all needed it.

Again her empty eye socket writhed. She wanted to rub it, scratch it, do something to fix it, but she learned long long ago that nothing would fix it…

The day she lost her eye felt like every other day. The scolding of Queen Toriel had already been but a distant memory. Not forgotten, however. It was there, always there, but she didn’t take heed to it so much.

The dogs came to Waterfall today to visit. Lesser Dog and Greater Dog loved the new smells, the strange waters, and the constant barking of the echo flowers. Those two never quite realized it was just their own barking echoing back at them. She wondered if there were still echo flowers out there somewhere barking and yipping like that day. She hoped so.

Dogamy and Dogaressa hated the water. Doggo wasn’t a fan either, but as long as he had his treats, he didn’t care. Greater Dog had already grown into quite the big puffball even at their young age, towering over the tiny little fluffball that was Lesser Dog. Undyne was never sure if they were brothers or just good friends. She never felt comfortable asking, and Greater Dog wasn’t the best at conversations.

While Greater and Lesser still hadn’t learned to walk on two legs yet, they did love going for a swim in the lakes. Their little and giant feet treading water happily, swimming in circles. Every so often they’d jump back out, shake all the loose water from their fur, and splash the rest of the group unknowingly in the process.

“No! No more water! (I hate water! Cut it out!)” Dogamy and Dogaressa cried/growled.

Undyne laughed. She’d go swimming with the dogs, too, pretending to be a deadly shark out to prey on them. Greater and Lesser dog simply licked her face before she attacked, never realizing she was trying to impose danger.

Something strange happened though. Something no one could predict, something very few in the Underground even realized happened.

Reeds rustled nearby, grass shaking and shivering with the presence of something. Dogamy whined but held his toy axe in front of Dogaressa anyway. Dogaressa scooted in front, baring her fangs. “H-hey, who’s that smell?! (Identify yoursmelf!)” Their nostrils flared, indicating it was a strange smell indeed.

Those two were always so jumpy. Undyne wasn’t afraid. When a pale little form tumbled out of the reeds, she and her doggy friends ran forward towards it. The dogs sniffed the thing like mad, tails whirring like well-oiled machines, noses huffing, and only one growler and one whiner.

Undyne looked over the little thing. They were smaller than she was, skinny too. She’d seen this before too many times. Looked like the poor thing hadn’t eaten in days. They wore a big pair of glasses, fogged up and cloudy, hiding their eyes away. In their hand, they clutched a notebook and pencil tightly. Something was off about this monster. They were so fleshy, even a little twitchy. It wasn’t like any monster she had seen before.

A tentative hand pet Lesser Dog’s fur, stroking sweetly. At times, their little hand would clutch the fur a little too hard, but Lesser Dog didn’t notice, licking their pale face at any possible instance. That face. Their lips curled into a smile sometimes, like a nervous twitch. Greater Dog wanted some pets, too, but they looked a bit too afraid to pet that big furry form, even though Undyne was certain Greater Dog would never hurt a fly.

The revelation stabbed into her skull. “You’re a human!” Undyne shouted, practically hopping with excitement. A human! Wow! She’d heard stories about them from other monsters, and Toriel’s laws claiming to treat humans with respect. They were harmless, nice creatures, and although they were different, should be treated like any other monster.

If only she had known better.

The human flinched at the shout, again gripping Lesser Dog’s fur too tightly. They didn’t seem to talk much. Maybe too afraid to speak. Maybe too hungry to speak. Maybe unable, or simply too far gone. Dogamy’s tail turned into a high-speed wag, escaping from between his legs once he heard. Dogaressa was still cautious. Smart. “A human! A human! Wow! Please pet me too! (Humans are weird!)”

Undyne could hardly contain her glee. She could take this human to Queen Toriel! Toriel wouldn’t be angry at her anymore if she saw how well she could take care of this human! She’d be Captain of the Royal Guard and beating up bad guys in no time! Gerson’s home wasn’t too far from here, maybe he could help as well! Everyone would be so proud of her!

Before her thoughts could take her away any farther, a deep voice burned: “Children! Get away from that human, at once!” His throat sounded scorched and hot, and it commanded authority.

Undyne looked back and saw them for the first time. The Rebels. She’d heard stories about them, some good, most bad. They disobeyed the Queen, refused to take any humans to her, and distrusted the lot of them. The dragon monster before her stood tall, his green scales gleaming with power and danger. His horns were twisted and sharpened to a wicked edge, and his eyes burned holes into the little human.

Next to him another large man stood, powerful and fierce, despite his fluffy bunny ears. Undyne would later learn that these two were 01 and 02’s fathers. But she had only recognized the dragon, as the current leader of the Rebels. His armor was nothing like the Queen’s knights armor. It didn’t shine, it didn’t glimmer, it looked like rough leather hastily strewn together by unskilled hands. They didn’t have the resources like the Queen did.

Undyne wasn’t afraid of them. She jumped in front of the human, spear firmly in hand. Her eyes glared deeply into the rebel leader’s own, and she felt the human behind her twitch in fear again, nearing a convulsion. The human was clearly sick. “No way! You’re the bad guys! You’re not getting this human!”

The dragon frowned deeply, while the bunny knight grimaced, gritting his teeth not in anger, but in worry. “Please!” The dragon’s voice burned and begged. “Step away! Let us handle the creature!” It sounded as if it hurt just to speak, flames licking the air around his mouth.

The dogs soon followed Undyne’s lead, even Dogaressa. They all believed in their Queen, and knew what it meant to allow the Rebels control over a human. They growled and barked, forming a barrier around the human, all except Lesser Dog, who continued to enjoy his petting session. The petting was getting more fervent, a little rougher.

The Rebels wouldn’t make a move yet. Undyne, back then, thought maybe she had intimidated them. No, the Rebels feared for Undyne’s safety. The large bunny man stepped forward, concern in his eyes. “Like, dudes, please! We, uh… we like promise, we won’t take the human! Just get away from it!”

The leader’s eyes glared at his friend in silent communication. He let out a sigh, and realized it was the best course of action. “He’s right. We promise to leave the human alone, if you kids will just stay away from it.”

Undyne grit her fangs together. “And why should I believe you?”

The human flinched again at the shouting. That nervous twitch of a smile spreading wider and wider. They clutched at Lesser Dog’s fur now, almost as tightly as the notepad they held. Lesser Dog let out a small whine. They gripped too hard.

Flames bled out stronger than before as his voice scratched and burned. “We fight for all monster kind!” The Rebel Leader said, his throat smoking. “We only wish to protect everyone, to help those too weak to help themselves. If it means letting the human go to protect you all, we will gladly obey.” He paused, took a careful step forward. “Now, please, move away from the human.”

Undyne mistook the fear in his eyes for malice. She felt the human shivering behind her, felt their fear coursing through her. It made her feel strange, feel frightened. It was clearly the Rebels tricking her! “We will never let you have them!” Undyne shouted, her voice echoing throughout all of Waterfall.

Something happened. She must have shocked the human. Or maybe this was just the way of humans. The human jolted at her roar, their body no longer shivering, no longer twitching. In a flash, Lesser Dog was gone. Dust. Undyne’s mind couldn’t process. She wasn’t sure when, but she found herself staring at that smiling face, eyes hidden behind cloudy glasses. The other dogs were shocked too, Greater Dog especially so.

In one hand, the human held their notebook, and in the other a simple pencil, although the black point of it shone with dust and darkness. The Rebels shouted something, but Undyne didn’t hear. There was another shouting behind the human, an old raspy voice, and a clunking form. The human stepped closer to Undyne, that grin haunting her dreams for years to come.

She couldn’t attack them. It was wrong. Her mind was reeling. Lesser Dog just died? What?

Undyne’s last memory was of the human barreling forward, pencil in hand, point aimed for her face. After that, it was black…

Her missing eye writhed in pain, burned with an invisible heat. She ignored it like she always did. Undyne’s claws scraped against the glass, watching the purple soul of that human twitch, it’s movements seemingly mimicking her phantom eye. She wished she could destroy it. For everything it did.

Greater Dog never quite got over Lesser Dog’s death. Sure, he’d still wag his tail, he’d still love a game of fetch, but his tail never wagged quite as much. He jumped at sudden movements, whined in his sleep, and howled some nights. Undyne trained Greater Dog as best she could in spear techniques, but that big fluffy dog could never find the anger needed to attack. She respected Greater Dog for that.

That human all those years ago went unnoticed through the Underground. Apparently hiding, dodging past all manner of monsters. She never understood why the human decided to come out to her and the dogs that day. Only the Rebels had caught wind of the human, but by the time they had, obviously, it was too late.

Whatever happened, that human’s soul was captured. It was the fourth soul the Rebels held onto. Other humans in the past that made it to Toriel might have died by now, but that naïve Queen refused to at least hand over the souls after they died natural deaths. No, she let them free, a complete waste! She’d sentence her own kind to this jail just to comfort a few human souls? Was she so blind?

Undyne grunted and slid the soul back into the secret compartment, where the others glowed and hummed silently to themselves. Four souls. She’d never gotten one herself, but she was prepared. She might never see the day the monsters would free themselves from the Underground, but she’d do all she could to make sure they would someday.

The old Rebel Leader’s son stayed in the group, but he chose not to lead. Like his father, he wasn’t much for words. He preferred Undyne become leader, and she was all too eager to oblige.

The Rebels had been kind to her. Taught her the history of monsterkind that Queen Toriel was too afraid to tell. That purple soul human was not the first to kill a monster, and certainly wouldn’t be the last. Undyne bit into the soft supple meat of the Crab Apple, the sweetness of it leaving a nostalgic taste in her body and mind.

She needed to hold onto that anger. The rage kept her going. When it all felt pointless, when it felt like the world was against her, she just needed to remember. Remember Lesser Dog. Remember the sad faces of those monsters who wished to leave.

“Boss!” A voice barked, stomping into her shoddy little office. “Boss! Boss, where are you!?”

It was Doggo. Undyne made the conscious effort to get up so he could see her clearly. “I’m here, Doggo, what’s up?”

A doggy treat burnt dangerously close to his lips, but in his haste, he didn’t notice. “A human! There’s been human sightings going around!”

Undyne grit her fangs. “What? Are you sure!?”

“One hundred percent!” He said. “Uh… Boss? You still here?”

The Rebel leader sighed and stepped to the side. “Yes. But uh, how can you be so sure?” You know, what with your terrible eye sight.

Doggo coughed up his doggy treat onto the floor, wiping his burnt lips. “I had Dogamy and Dogaressa sniff around Snowdin, Boss! They recognize the scent as human for sure!”

Those two wouldn’t get their smells wrong. Not about this. Undyne tossed her Crab Apple to the floor with the rest of them. “All right, Doggo. Good work. I want you and the other dogs to watch Snowdin, got it? I’ll look through Waterfall myself. Call up Number 1 and Number 2 and make sure they watch over Hotland.”

Doggo nodded, searching his pockets for another doggy treat already. When he couldn’t find one, he shifted his eyes from left to right. “Uh, but… One last thing, Boss. What should we do about that Royal Guard Captain?”

Undyne groaned. She had forgotten about that.

“Should I take care of him?” Doggo asked, his knife gleaming.

Her fist pounded down onto her desk, causing Doggo to yip. “No!” She roared. “No. I’ll handle him.”

“Of course, Boss!” Doggo nodded with a salute. “I’ll be sure to keep my eyes peeled! Nothing will get by me!”

She doubted that. “Doggo!” Undyne called after him, stopping him in his tracks. Adrenaline pumped through her veins, and her claws shook. “Be careful. I don’t want to lose anyone else.”

A doggy treat burned in his drooling muzzle already. With a stern nod, he looked back to her. “I will, Boss.” Then he walked off.

Undyne stared after him and considered.

The Captain of the Royal Guard, the Great Papyrus. It was as much of a mouthful as he was a thorn in her side. As she donned her rough leather armor, ignoring the cracks and shudders from years of use, she remembered her first official day as the Rebel Leader. Her second meeting with the queen, and her first with that damn knight…

Her emerald spear crackled with energy, pulsing and flaring, threatening to burst at the lightest touch. Undyne’s boots stomped up the steps of New Home and into the Queen’s chambers. She growled, fangs bared, a frown of disgust stuck to her lips. No one had stopped her so far! Not a single guard! Did they not fear her? Did they not care? Where they simply just lazy?

A Knight Knight’s towering form shadowed the hallway to the Queen’s garden. Her black armor gleamed dangerously against the light from the stained-glass windows. Undyne prepared for a fight, took a battle position, and then sighed. A snore grumbled out of the Knight Knight, her enormous mace used only to prop herself up. Undyne easily maneuvered around the titan, seething with rage.

As Undyne neared the garden, a wandering Whimsalot found her in their gaze. “Halt!” the small fluttering monster ordered, rushing toward her. They held a bow, gripped firm in their gauntlet, and yet did not keep it at the ready. “What business do you have here, madam?”

Did they not even know who she was?!

“I’m here to see the Queen,” Undyne growled through grit teeth.

The Whimsalot shook their head and then nodded in thought. “Ah, yes, of course! She’s right through that door, enjoying a nice snail pie in the garden. Please enjoy yourself!” With that, it fluttered away, completely ignoring the malice in her eye or the spear in hand.

This woman had no place being Queen! Her knights were overly trusting, unprepared, and just plain lazy! When Undyne ruled the Underground, she would make changes around here. She couldn’t understand why previous Rebel Leaders didn’t simply take over. Sure, they spoke of respecting her, realizing all the good she had done for the Underground, but couldn’t they see what they could do if they took it themselves?

It had been a long time coming. Now that Undyne was the Rebel Leader, there was no one to stop her, no one to tell her otherwise. Undyne kicked open the double doors to the garden, a gust of wind knocking the flowers about.

“Oh?�� A gentle voice hummed. “A visitor?” The Queen smiled sweetly, pie placed delicately on the plate, and a warm tea seated next to it. She didn’t seem to notice Undyne’s threatening aura, or even remember her. “Would you like some pie?”

Undyne slammed the butt of her spear against the dirt, cracking the ground dangerously. “No!” She yelled, enraged further by her lack of defenses. “I am Undyne, leader of the Rebels! I demand you step down from the throne this instant!”

The Queen frowned, quickly realizing the seriousness of the situation. “Undyne? But the previous leader…”

“He’s gone!” She said with a pang of sadness. “Whatever truce you may have had with each other is over. I am the leader now, and I suggest you step aside like the rest of your inexperienced knights! I will lead the monsters of the Underground to the outside! I will offer them a choice to leave, where you gave them none.”

Queen Toriel shook her head, eyes defiant. “I apologize, but I will not step down simply because you tell me to!”

“You leave our own people to suffer for your cowardice!”

Toriel grimaced, clutching at her royal robes. “I… I do all that I can.”

“Then give us the human souls, at least!” Undyne demanded, taking another step forward.

Again she shook her head, eyes ablaze. “I will not, nor will I ever. All humans deserve the same respect as monsters.”

“And yet you force us to live underground like rats!”

She would not falter. “I do not deny the problems my decisions might cause, but I believe they are for the best for all of us.”

Undyne took another step forward, spear edge sharp. “And I believe we deserve a choice in what we think is best. I believe the weak deserve to be heard! I believe they deserve to be protected from the humans and not fall victim to their every whim!”

The Queen let out an exhaust-filled sigh, as if she’s been arguing this for centuries. “I will not step down,” she said quietly, firmly.

“Then I’ll make you,” Undyne threatened.

The Queen never flinched, showed no fear. Undyne couldn’t help but respect that. She knew, deep in her heart, Toriel was not a bad person. But she had to go. “Do what you must,” the Queen replied, a shimmer of flames in her palms, and a sad frown upon her muzzle.

It was settled. No more talking. No more words!

Undyne cried out, her pent-up frustration, her rage, her sadness, and charged forth, spear in hand. Still, the Queen did not flinch, merely readied herself, the flames burning brighter. The poor, the weak, and even Lesser Dog’s voice blared in her mind, begging for a better life. She threw the spear forward and it crackled like lightning, ready to pierce its target.

“NOT SO FAST, EVIL DOER!” a voice boomed like thunder. Undyne nearly tripped over herself. The spear struck a bone white shield, denting its perfectly smooth metal form. “YOUR HONOR, I WILL PROTECT YOU!”

“Papyrus!” Toriel yelled, her flames already extinguished as she worried over the tall skeleton before her. “Are you all right?!”

Just where the heck did this guy even come from?! It was like he floated in without a sound!

The Knight arose super cooly from his shielded position, his scarf fluttering in the breeze from above, and his skull grinning with a hint of smugness. “NYEH HEH HEH! NO ATTACK IS TOO STRONG FOR THE ROYAL GUARD CAPTAIN THE GREAT PAPYRUS!”

While his confidence was impressive, Undyne had bigger fish to fry. Ugh. Not a great expression. “Whoever you are, get out of the way! My fight is with the Queen! Not you!”

Striking another wicked cool pose, the knight proceeded to remove his skull off his shoulders. Wait what?! “I CAN’T ALLOW ANY HARM TO COME TO THE QUEEN!” He said, his voice somehow even louder. Undyne realized that this knight was wearing a helmet replicating his skull. Beneath that smugly smiling skull laid …. Another smugly smiling skull. “OR ELSE I WOULD BE A PRETTY BAD ROYAL GUARD!” He winked. “AND I’D RATHER BE A PRETTY RAD ROYAL GUARD. NYEH HEH HEH!”

Okay, that was good.

Undyne shook her head. She was getting distracted! “Fine, then! So I have to fight against your best knight before I can fight you, eh? I don’t care!”

The Knight known as Papyrus shook his skull. “OH, WOWIE, NO!” He posed again, his boney armor shining way too bright in her eye. “FIGHTING IS WRONG! I JUST PROTECT THE QUEEN AND MAKE PUZZLES!” He paused for a moment thinking. “AND SPAGHETTI. I’M ALSO THE ROYAL CHEF.”

The goat queen smiled sheepishly.

Undyne couldn’t believe what she was seeing or hearing. “No?! What do you mean no!? Then get out of the way and let me fight her!”

Again, he shook his head. “I’M SORRY! IT IS MY DUTY TO PROTECT THE QUEEN!” He placed his shield against his palms and plopped a glob of soggy noodles and watery sauce upon it. “CAN I INTEREST YOU IN SOMETHING TO EAT INSTEAD?”

Undyne’s claw turned into a fist and she grit her teeth. Did he mock her?! Who was this knight?! Was he trying to get into her head!? It didn’t matter! She wouldn’t let this weirdo stop her!

“Forget it, then!” Undyne yelled, charging forward again. She’d ignore this foolish knight and go for the Queen anyway! With a flash, she shot her spear forward, aiming straight at the queen.

Somehow, Papyrus’ eyes bulged out of his sockets. Although she was pretty sure he had no eyes?! Also, what!? How did her spear end up in the knight?! The spear stuck into his breastplate, cracking the once pristine armor. “WOWIE, THAT WAS A LITTLE PAINFUL!” he said cheerfully.

“Papyrus, please!” Toriel begged. “I will be quite all right! Please, leave this to me!”

Undyne’s rage was bleeding out like sauce on frozen spaghetti. She pulled the spear out of the knight. “I… didn’t mean to hit you! Damn it!”

Papyrus simply smiled. “PRETTY COOL, NYEH?”

The Rebel leader scowled. “No! It’s not cool at all! Get out of the way!”

“AGAIN, SORRY, BUT I AM SIMPLY TOO RAD TO DO THAT!”

No! She couldn’t let this rage leave her! She couldn’t leave here empty handed! Undyne would take the throne! With another roar, she charged forward, this time with a good ol’ fashioned fist. Her strike was fast, accurate, and powerful, she wouldn’t miss Toriel this time!

Her knuckles slammed against a metal skull, leaving his head vibrating and her fist bruised. “OWWIE!” Papyrus said as his eyes bulged out and pinged against his helmet.

“Papyrus, please, that’s enough!”

“Yeah, stop it, will ya!?” Undyne realized too late she had just agreed with her enemy.

“NO CAN DO!” Papyrus continued, picking himself up off the dirt, his beautiful armor scuffed and battered now.

Undyne was furious. Her blood boiled. But she was not angry with the Queen or her knight. She was angry with herself. She couldn’t keep attacking someone who wouldn’t fight back! Especially a fellow monster! Her spear blipped out of existence.

Papyrus noticed this. “NYEH HEH HEH! DO YOU GIVE UP TO THE AWESOME POWER OF THE GREAT CAPTAIN ROYAL GUARD PAPYRUS?!” He paused. “OR WAS IT CAPTAIN OF THE ROYAL GUARD, COMMA, THE GREAT PAPYRUS?”

Everything she had worked so hard for! All those monsters that were counting on her! All the training, all the fighting, all the preparing for this moment!

Her claws clenched and unclenched, trying desperately to hold onto that anger that fueled her moments ago. But it was all wrong! It didn’t feel right, not anymore. With a grunt, she finally said, “I won’t give up that easily. You haven’t seen the last of me.” She cringed at that last part. She didn’t mean to sound like a stereotypical villain.

Luckily, Papyrus’ smile only grew wider, his eyes sparkling with hope, and even a bit of admiration. He seemed to enjoy that final line. “I CERTAINLY HOPE NOT! I THINK WE’LL MAKE GREAT FRIENDS!”

Queen Toriel stared onward at the strange events unfolding before her. She didn’t understand. But then again, not many would. Not even Undyne.

“Pft, friends with you?” Undyne spat on a flower nearby as she stomped away. “I will never be friends with you. You and the Queen are my enemy, you understand?”

She never forgot that laugh of his. Full of confidence, even after taking so many attacks head on. “NYEH HEH HEH! WE’LL SEE ABOUT THAT!” Deep down, she also felt some form of admiration.

That was a few years ago, however. Undyne had no plans on losing again. A human was too dangerous, too important to lose. She was willing to do whatever it took to defeat her enemy.

“HELLO, MR. GERSON!” Papyrus shouted cheerily. He had two important missions today! Find the human, and find the leader of the Rebels, Undyne! She was a cunning fish, a strong fighter, and kept her secret hideout extremely…. Secret! But the Royal Captain had his own ways of finding her.

“CAN UNDYNE COME OUT AND PLAY?”

His bones rattled as he waited. The old turtle grandpa turned around, his smiling face soon fading once he saw who it was. Gerson loved Papyrus! He didn’t feel the need to have a fake smile around him! The Royal Guard was so happy he had gotten so close to him! “Oh. It’s you.”

Papyrus struck a cool pose. “THAT’S RIGHT! CAPTAIN OF THE ROYAL GUARD--”

“The Great Papyrus, yes, I know, sonny,” he sighed. Papyrus made sure to always tell everyone his name and occupation! It was very important! And he liked doing it. “For the one-hundred-and-fiftieth time, Undyne does not live here.”

“ONE-HUNDRED-AND-FIFTYSIX,” Papyrus corrected. It was his duty to keep the citizens well informed.

Gerson closed his one good eye and mumbled something to himself before continuing. More than likely a compliment to Papyrus’ informative ways! “You know she has her own home, don’t ya?”

“YES!” Papyrus nodded, his bones rattling and his armor clanking together noisily. “I KNOCKED FOR THREE HOURS STRAIGHT, LEFT TWELVE VOICE MAILS, TWENTY-TWO TEXTS, AND EVEN ASKED HER SPOOKY NEIGHBOR FOR HER WHEREABOUTS!” He paused. “TWICE!”

The old turtle crossed his arms and leaned against his store’s stand. “Then what in Fluffybun’s name makes ya think I’d know where she is, ya bonehead?”

“YOU’RE HER GRANDPA!” Papyrus stated, his information never wrong. “IF ANYONE ELSE KNEW, IT’D BE YOU!”

He flinched at the word. His lips seemed unsure as to what expression they wished to show. “Bah, I aint her grandpa. Never was.”

Papyrus doubted that. He peered into the cave behind the store front, and he found a bed with several action figures scooted into the back, a poster of the old Rebel leader, and a fresh Crab Apple and Sea Tea waiting on the desk nearby. He wondered how this ancient turtle carried on. His store still sold the same old Torn Notebook and Cloudy Glasses as always. Papyrus asked where he had obtained such strange objects before, but Gerson always kept quiet.

The storekeeper didn’t like roaming eye sockets. “You gonna buy some junk this time or not? I tell ya again, I don’t know where she is! I never will neither!”

Strange that such a close friend of the Queen kept an old Rebel poster. “FAIR ENOUGH, MY GOOD CHUM!”

“Aint your chum, ya chumbucket,” Gerson grumbled.

Papyrus chose to ignore that! “COULD YOU PASS ON A MESSAGE TO HER IF YOU SEE HER THEN?”

He sighed. “All right.”

Papyrus had to choose his next words carefully. He was certain that the Rebel Leader herself would hear this. It was absolutely imperative that he get it right, or the consequences would be dire. It was a matter of life or death.

“CAN YOU ASK HER IF WE CAN MOVE MOVIE NIGHT NEXT WEEK TO SIX P.M. INSTEAD OF FIVE? THE QUEEN HAS HAD SOMETHING UNEXPECTED COME UP, AND I DON’T WANT TO BE LATE!”

Gerson’s eye went wide with the seriousness of the situation. “What in… …” he stumbled over his words before accepting defeat. “I’ll tell her if I see her, dagnabbit.” Again, he muttered something under his breath about how he couldn’t understand something or other. Baffled by the Royal Guard Captain’s raddness no doubt!

“THANK YOU VERY MUCH!” Papyrus said with a salute. He breathed a sigh of relief knowing that movie night would be saved. Well, he didn’t breathe or sigh, but he pretended to! It was still very relieving.

Next up, finding the human and escorting them to the Queen!

.

.

.

Undyne’s fist clenched and unclenched unconsciously as she patrolled through Waterfall. Her single eye roved through every corner, every reedy bush like a search light. Her spears begged to appear, begged to slash and stab at even the tiniest of movements, but she held them out of existence, out of her mind. She held onto that feeling. She would need it.

So far, there had been no reports of monster deaths, injured monsters, or missing monsters. This was good, except Undyne knew better than anyone that this did not mean the Underground was safe. Peaceful or not, this human would need to be dealt with, for all their sakes.

Yet, it bit at her mind. What if the human wasn’t a threat? What if the human was peaceful? What if Queen Toriel was right? Would she be able to take the soul of this human? It gnawed, it clawed, it bore deeper into her skull. Visions of Lesser Dog’s tail wagging entered her mind, as well as a dusty notebook. She wished Gerson would be rid of the thing. Why did he hang onto it? Why did he try to sell it still?

“I aint letting it go to waste,” he had said one time, his voice strained, practically foreign to Undyne. “That’s what you Rebels are doin’ aint ya? Not lettin’ anything go to waste? Well, let an old man side with your ideals just this once.” He wouldn’t speak of it again. It was around that time he retired his Hammer of Justice title and even the hammer itself. Stubborn old man. She never meant to burden him.

“Enough!” Undyne shouted to herself, as if it would lessen the torrent of thoughts. An echo flower repeated her: “Enough!” Over and over. The sound was harsh and frightening. But it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter what she felt. She had to do this for everyone.

Strangely, she wondered what the old King might have done, had he been around still.

Finally, her mind’s incessant thoughts quieted. A rustling in the reeds caught her attention. A small fleshy thing stumbled out, blue and purple stripes across its chest. No longer did her memories torment her. It was as clear as water. A human. She grinned.

“You!” Her voice boomed, a commanding aura to it that forced the human to heed her. A faded band aid stuck to its knee, threatening to fall off at any moment due to extended use. In its right hand it held a stick, brownish green leaves barely hanging onto its dead form. The human looked up, its expressionless face revealing little.

“You’re the little brat that’s been talk of the town, huh?” She hissed, looking down on it with disgust. Barely even stood up to her knee.

The human nodded silently. Did it not fear her? Had the other monsters treated it so well? This one looked different than the one before all those years ago. This one didn’t twitch, didn’t look quite so starved. However, this one hid much. It didn’t ready its weapon. Maybe it would only strike when her guard was down as well.

She shook her head. It didn’t matter. She ignored it. She only felt the burning itch of her missing eye. That was all she needed now. A spear materialized in her hand, like it had always been there, waiting. “Well, punk, it was nice not knowing ya,” she growled. “Goodbye.”

The spear shot forward. She heard nothing anymore. The silence deafened her. Good. Her spear hit its mark. A direct hit! … But …. It was stuck. What? This sensation wasn’t right. She shook her head again, allowed herself back into reality.

A pale white blinded her. The spear was wedged firmly into a shield, blocking the human completely. Undyne felt dizzy. “What?!” Her words nearly drooled out. “Papyrus?!” How?!

“NYEH HEH HEH!” His helmet smirked at her as always behind the shield. The human was safe and sound. “I TRIED YELLING TO HALT, BUT YOUR DEEP ANGST-FILLED ACTIONS IGNORED ME! I HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO SURPRISE YOU WITH MY RAD STYLE YET AGAIN!”

Undyne groaned, wishing she could get to that little brat’s neck. That damned skeleton again! It took every ounce of herself to strike at the human, every drop of her rage! Somewhere, deep inside, she sighed with relief, but her conscious body and mind shook with anger. She wouldn’t let the human live, she couldn’t let the human live. If she had to suffer again to strike at the thing, then so be it! If only Papyrus would just leave her alone about this!

“I’m not playing this game again!” Undyne yelled, gripping a spear in her hand. She wasn’t sure when it appeared, again. “Enough fooling around, stay out of my way!”

The helmet still smiled at her as always, but his voice betrayed it, ever so slightly. “I’M SORRY! I WON’T LET YOU TAKE THE HUMAN! IT IS MY DUTY TO PROTECT THEM!” The human in question stayed behind the skeleton’s shield, looking between the fighters with curious eyes. It didn’t seem to understand the danger it was in. Or maybe it did and just didn’t care.

Again, she felt that rage bubbling up. “That thing’s an it, not a them!” She spat. “Again, the Queen shows more kindness to humans than to the monsters themselves!”

Papyrus kept his shield steady, but she noticed his helmet turned away. “I AM SORRY. THE QUEEN TRIES HER BEST TO PROTECT EVERYONE.”

“Tries her best, tries her best, tries her best!” Undyne mocked, unable to control her anger. “That’s what I’ve heard my whole life! Her best isn’t good enough! Don’t you see, Papyrus?!” He was too naïve. He was always too naïve.

His voice didn’t boom out this time. “I do,” he replied. For a moment, Undyne felt guilty, felt ashamed. He composed himself again. “BUT I SIDE WITH HER ON THIS! THE QUEEN IS RIGHT! FIGHTING MAY LOOK SUPER COOL, BUT IT IS WRONG! EVERYONE DESERVES A CHANCE AT A BETTER LIFE!” He paused before adding. “AND DR. ALPHYS AND EVEN MY BROTHER ARE WORKING HARD TO FIND A PEACEFUL WAY AROUND THE BARRIER!”

Undyne shook her head. She’d been down this road thousands of times, had shouting matches with Papyrus every other week, with both trying to get the other to join their side. Now would be no different. The Royal Scientists overworked themselves daily, Alphys especially, trying to find another alternative to break through the barrier. Undyne knew that the outcome was unlikely, (from her conversations with Alphys) especially with that lazy partner of hers, Sans. The only real option was gathering human souls.

“Fine then,” she said with a sigh, her anger more or less under control now. “We fight over the human! Whoever wins, keeps the stupid thing!”

“I WON’T FIGHT!” Papyrus yelled stubbornly.

Undyne grinned. She had planned for this. She may not have been a master strategist, but when it came to getting into fights, no one could beat her. “Not a fight. Just a spar, like usual.”

“WOWIE!” Papyrus said, straightening himself up. “THAT’S A GREAT IDEA!” He gently pushed the human, motioning for it to give them space and wait near a cavern wall. It obeyed, but Undyne noted the eyes darting to the side, evaluating ways to escape.

His usual demeanor had already returned, and his armor looked as if it shone even brighter. “BY THE WAY, ARE WE STILL UP FOR MOVIE NIGHT? I TRIED CALLING YOU THIRTY TIMES! I LEFT TWELVE VOICEMAILS AND TWENTY-TWO TEXTS AND…”

Aw geez. She remembered now. Undyne had thrown her phone into a lake after calling the Royal Scientist Alphys up and asking her: “How’s the weather?” What a stupid thing to say! Especially to someone who worked for her enemy! Gah, as if it was hard enough to get in touch with her, working all day with Papyrus’ lazy brother! She had to go and ask, “How’s the weather?” That didn’t even make sense!

“I, uh, lost it,” Undyne lied, scratching the back of her head sheepishly. “Also, I mean, yeah, movie night is still on, I guess,” she mumbled. Boy, this wasn’t the kind of banter she expected between her biggest enemy before fighting.

“OH GOOD!” Papyrus clapped his armored hands happily. “I MAY BE AN HOUR OR SO LATE, IS THAT ALL RIGHT?”

Undyne knew Alphys was always especially busy, and every hour she could spend with that little nerd was precious. “I, uh, yeah, I think that’ll be all right. Alphys doesn’t have much time off, so we might start without you?”

“OH, THAT’S FINE!” Papyrus nodded. “I’LL MAKE SURE TO BRING OVER MY FAMOUS POP SPAGHETTI CORN TO MAKE UP FOR IT!”

Some extra alone time with the Royal Scientist would be great, she thought to herself. If only The Queen hadn’t gotten her furry mitts all over Alphys as well, then maybe it would be easier to tell her—

The human moved slowly to the left, making way towards one of the cavern paths. “Hey!” Undyne roared, pointing at it and halting it in its tracks. “No moving!” She growled. She needed to focus! Papyrus always did this! But… she was glad he did.

“WELL, I SUPPOSE WE SHOULD START!” Papyrus nodded. “I JUST WANT TO SAY, NO MATTER WHO WINS OR LOSES, YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MY BEST FRIEND, UNDYNE!”

Resisting the urge to puke, Undyne sighed instead. She still couldn’t believe she was best friends with her biggest enemy. “Yeah, yeah.”

“COME ON, SAY IT!” Papyrus demanded.

“You’re my best friend too,” she huffed.

She could tell his eyes were shining underneath his helmet. “I TOLD YOU ALL THOSE YEARS AGO!” He nyeh’d and heh’d.

This was the only time she was willing to admit defeat. “Yeah, yeah,” she repeated, her scales heating with embarrassment. She clenched her spear. “Enough, nerd talk, already! Let’s get to the fight!”

“SPAR!” Papyrus corrected, a bit apprehensive. Undyne knew he was naïve, but on some level, Papyrus must have known what this was.

“Sure, whatever!”

He unsheathed his weapon from its scabbard. The bone shaped sword gleamed white like his armor. What a dorky weapon! Undyne never understood how it fit in his scabbard. “WELL THEN, REBEL LEADER UNDYNE, PREPARE YOURSELF!”

She adored these dramatic encounters inwardly. She couldn’t help herself but play along somewhat. Undyne’s spear blipped into existence, glowing dangerously. With a quick look, she made sure that the human was there. It stared at them, looking confused. That puny thing wasn’t worth thinking about.

“Let’s go!” Undyne yelled, throwing herself forward, adrenaline exploding through her body…

Her “spars” with Papyrus weren’t always so enjoyable at first.

As the newly appointed Rebel Leader, and the newly failed usurper of the throne, Undyne vowed to capture any and all humans that fell down. That meant training her crew as well. The Rebels willing to fight were quite small, consisting only of her childhood dog friends, and the two sons of the previous Rebel Leaders.

Number 1 and Number 2 were all they wished to go by. Number 2 was quiet, not quite so great with people, but he carried with him that silent dignity. Number 1 was chatty, like his father as well, and never left 2’s side. Where 1 had trouble speaking, 2 was always there to help get his point across. They were extremely close, especially since they grew up together.

“Listen up, punks!” Undyne yelled, glaring into her subordinate’s eyes one after the other. Dogamy and Dogaressa stopped nuzzling noses, Doggo quit smoking, and Greater Dog… well he kept wagging his tail and staring as usual. Undyne could never quite be harsh with him. Number 2 stood proudly, saluting her, causing Number 1 to follow as well.

They were a ragtag bunch, not quite fit for war, but they were her bunch, and she felt pride seeing just how hard they worked every day. Not many were willing to follow the Rebels, and even less willing to put themselves in danger.

Frigid Snowdin air cut at her scales, but she ignored it as usual. “Today we’re going to learn just how to deal with a human when we see one. Got that?” The dogs nodded. Number 1 and Number 2 nodded as well, but with hesitation. They’d never seen a human. Only heard the stories. This practice was more for them.

Undyne reached behind a tree and plopped a stuffed dummy down into the crunchy snow. The stitching was cheap, and it wore the old striped shirt Undyne wore when she was a child, but it got the job done. Upon its head, she had placed a dirty mop end to replicate disgusting human hair. The face of the dummy was expressionless, unreadable.

Dogamy and Dogaressa growled and barked at the dummy, while Doggo glared daggers at it. Greater Dog simply whined. Number 1 and Number 2 weren’t quite sure how to react. 1 looked over to 2 and felt the need to speak. “Like, dude, that’s what a human looks like?”

Undyne nodded, making sure to give it a tap now and again so Doggo could see it. “That’s right, Number 1.”

The bunny rebel couldn’t quite grasp the danger. Even the dragon’s flames seemed to flicker out. “Bro, I don’t know, that thing doesn’t seem like, very dangerous, you know?”

She wasn’t mad. She fell for the same trap. “That’s where your wrong, Number 1. Number 2, I see you have doubts as well.” Undyne still remembered those cloudy glasses, that twitching wicked smile. It had seemed so innocent back then, somehow. “Humans are extremely dangerous, and capable of destroying us monsters with ease if we’re not careful. It may look harmless, but I’m convinced that’s part of their natural evolution!”

A puff of smoke rose out of Number 2’s gullet as he spoke. “Is that…?”

He didn’t say anymore, but Undyne understood him perfectly. “Yes. This is what the human looked like.” The one that killed Lesser Dog. She wouldn’t say it in front of Greater Dog. Number 2 nodded solemnly, clenching his fists. Where as Undyne may have failed to get through to 1, Number 2 did not. Number 1 saw this reaction and followed as well, again, mimicking his motion. She’d make sure to keep them together. They worked much better as a team.

“Humans are small and sneaky,” Undyne continued. “Always be on the lookout for one, always! They may sneak by through reeds, hide in the shadows, or any kind of small hole or crack in the wall, like the roaches they are.

“But the most important rule when it comes to dealing with humans! Do not fight it!” Undyne explained, stressing the point. “Tell me right away you see a human! I will deal with it!” She paused. “However, if you find a human threatening innocent monsters, or you have no choice but to fight for defense, you must be prepared! Understand?”

They nodded.

Good. She hoped they would never be forced to fight a human. She couldn’t bear losing more friends. “Now, humans may be extremely dangerous, but that does not mean they’re invincible,” she explained, her green spear already in hand, snowflakes melting into waterdrops around it. “From what I’ve been told, and what I’ve learned, humans are made of soft mushy flesh.” She pointed the tip of her spear at the human dummy’s neck. “This is one of their many weaknesses! Strike a human here, and you will find yourself a quick victory!

“However,” Undyne continued. “They’re fast and agile creatures. Capable of multiple flips, the ability to run up walls, and even flight if they’re strong enough!” She had learned this from Dr. Alphys’ human documentaries that Queen Toriel hid from the monster population. “You may not be able to strike their necks, but a blow to the head will still do a decent amount of damage! Any attacks that can generally pierce their soft pudgy exteriors will do.” She paused before adding, “Crushing their bones is also a valid option.”

Number 1 cringed, but the others held strong.

He would have to learn. Undyne sighed. “A moment’s weakness could cost you your life! If the opportunity presents itself, strike quickly and accurately!” She gripped the spear in her hand and ignored the rattling and clanking of armor. “Allow me to demonstrate!”

The dummy was so puny now. Whenever she remembered the human, it looked so big, so frightening. But now? How could one of these things possibly stop her? With a grunt, she stabbed her spear forward directly into the neck of the dummy. It struck with a satisfying pang! “And that is how you should ideally finish off a human!”

They stared at her with wide eyes, shocked, and confused. What, was it that gruesome? She looked over to see what had happened to the dummy.

“NYEH-HEH-HEH!”

Papyrus had shielded her target with his body. Again.

“Oh my freaking god!” Undyne growled, losing her leader’s cool instantly. “Are you kidding me!?”

“THE GREAT ROYAL PAPYRUS CAPTAIN NEVER KIDS!” He said cooly, his helmet mocking her with its smile. “THE HUMAN MAY BE FAKE, BUT I WILL NOT ALLOW ANY HARM TO COME OF THEM, STILL!”

Again, he ruined her plans! Again! He made a mockery of her in front of her own troops! The nerve of this knight! “Ngaaaaah!” Undyne screamed in rage, striking Papyrus directly in the chest plate.

The Knight, of course, took the blow without so much as a struggle. His armor dented, his skeletal body inside surely bruised. “I SUPPOSE I DESERVED THAT!” He coughed, wincing.

Rage boiling, Undyne said, “Fight me already, you coward!” Where was the honor in beating up someone who wouldn’t even fight back!?

The Rebels looked on with even more confused stares. “Uh, like, dude, you need some help or…”

“No, damn it!” She yelled. “Stay out of it!”

Papyrus attempted to buff out the mark in his armor, lamenting at its now lackluster shine. With a sigh, he left it be. “I MIGHT BE A COWARD,” he admitted. “BUT I WILL NOT FIGHT. I WILL NEVER FIGHT! I’LL FIGHT YOU ON THAT!” He paused. “WAIT.”

What was wrong with this idiot!? Why was he doing this to her?! Although, she had to admit, it took guts to stand up to her. It took even more guts to take a punch to said gut on multiple occasions and stay standing.

“You…. you…!” she couldn’t even think of the proper insult. Or maybe it was just hard to insult him. “You must have learned to fight!” She yelled, exasperated. Her eye’s gaze fell to the scabbard. “What else is that sword for?!”

Papyrus audibly winked, somehow. “AH, SO YOU NOTICED BONECALIBER, NYEH?” He laughed with glee. “YES, I DO KNOW HOW TO FIGHT! BUT I ONLY SPAR BETWEEN MY TROOPS! IT KEEPS YOU FIT AND GIVES YOU MUSCLES!” He flexed, as if his muscles could show through his armor. As if it was even possible for him to have muscles in the first place!

“Then spar with me!” Undyne blurted out, unaware of the possible consequences.

Papyrus quickly removed his skull---er---helmet, revealing sparkling eyes. “YOU REALLY MEAN IT? YOU WANT TO GET BUFF AND EXERCISE WITH ME?”

“I don’t care what I have to do if it means you’ll fight back!” Undyne said through gritted fangs.

“GREAT!” Papyrus cheered. “I’LL SET UP A SCHEDULE! WE’LL SPAR TOGETHER ONCE A WEEK! WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO MEET?”

“Ngaaaaaaaaah!”

“YOUR HOUSE THEN! THAT SOUNDS GREAT!” Papyrus continued, oblivious to her rage. “I’LL BE THERE TOMORROW, AFTER MY SHIFT WITH THE QUEEN! WE’LL SPAR EVERY WEEK AFTER THAT!”

“I’ll break your bony spine!” Undyne threatened, seeing red.

He simply smiled wider at that. “OH, I HOPE SO! YOU WILL GET ME SO STRONG! WE’LL BE BEST FRIENDS!”

“I swear on my life, I will never be friends with you, damn it!”

“NYEH-HEH-HEH!” He laughed, ignoring her again. “NONE CAN RESIST THE GREAT PAPYRUS ROYAL GUARD’S CHARM! YOU’LL SEE!” His scarf fluttering in the wintery breeze, Papyrus sped away in the opposite direction nyehing and hehing the whole way. She hated him. She hated him so much! She couldn’t wait to utterly destroy him!

“Dude…” Number 1 said dumbly. “Like, what just happened?”

“Nothing!” Undyne roared, spear still firmly in claw. “Now, as I was saying, damn it! Here’s how you kill a human!” In a flash of anger, she stabbed at where the human dummy was previously. Her spear landed in a soft puffy patch of snow harmlessly.

She looked in the distance, foaming at the mouth, and saw Papyrus carrying her dummy away to safety, skipping with glee…

Sweat stung her eye, soaking her eyepatch. Her spear clashed with his sword, leaving them locked in a power struggle. She had always overpowered him when this happened before! Why was it hard now? His armor seemed heavier, his strength felt unreal. Maybe Papyrus never went all out in their previous spars. Maybe Papyrus knew how important the human truly was. Or maybe Undyne’s will was faltering against him.

She grit her fangs together, dug her boots into the soft dirt below, and pushed with all her strength. Papyrus wouldn’t give an inch. Their weapons scraped and twitched, just barely holding together. In the corner of her eye, she saw a movement.

The human moved slowly to the left, hoping to escape behind Undyne while she was busy. “Damn it, you little brat!” She said, struggling. With what little strength she could muster, spears shot down into the ground in front of the human, barring its way forward. Papyrus, strangely enough, took advantage of this opportunity. He had never been one to fight even kind of unfairly. Her muscles felt like exploding, her legs wanted to give out.

“MY APOLOGIES!” Papyrus called out, suddenly. The human attempted to make it by Papyrus this time instead. With his shield arm, he raised his bony hand into the air, causing his goofy cartoon bones to block off the human’s other escape. “I’M AFRAID I CANNOT LET YOU ESCAPE EITHER! IT IS SIMPLY TOO DANGEROUS!”

Thankfully, the human gave up, probably realizing it was best to let the two tire themselves out even more. Undyne felt Papyrus’ power wane, his attention fall. If he was willing to give it all he had, she would too. With a burst of energy, Undyne pushed hard against the armored skeleton, and knocked him backwards with a swift kick to the chest.

He nearly toppled over himself, his heavy armor clumsily clanking as he clamored into a calm state. To his side, a dark chasm loomed, endlessly drinking the liquids from the many waterfalls, and devouring the infinite boulders that crashed down into its gaping mouth. It had taken Undyne a long time to set up that physics breaking trap, and she was never quite sure how to make it stop anyway.

“IMPRESSIVE!” Papyrus shouted, attempting to catch his breath. Undyne, too, was too exhausted to press the attack again, at least for this moment. “BUT I ASSURE YOU, THE JUST POWER OF GOOD AND LAW WILL ALWAYS WIN!” He struck another pose, his cracked armor shining like an old muddied and rusty watch.

“I am the good guy here!” Undyne argued through panting breaths.

Papyrus paused for a moment, a gauntlet stroking his broken helmet’s chin. “HMM. THAT IS TRUE! YOU ARE INDEED NOT BAD. DOES THAT MAKE ME THE BAD GUY IN THIS SITUATION?”

Undyne was awestruck. Only Papyrus could start a philosophical argument mid fight. “No! You’re … you’re not bad either!”

“BUT WHY WOULD GOOD GUYS FIGHT EACH OTHER?”

“Spar,” Undyne corrected.

“RIGHT. WHY WOULD GOOD GUYS SPAR TOGETHER LIKE THIS?”

Her head was pounding. Her breaths steadied. “I don’t know! That’s not my problem!” She shook her head. “Are you giving up, then!?” She hoped he would say yes.

Papyrus also shook his head, reading his sword and shield once more. “NEVER!” He charged forward. “I HOPE YOU’RE READY FOR MY NEW ATTACK!” He always had to warn her of his new attacks. Maybe he wanted to show off, or maybe he just didn’t want to hurt her. Either way, it couldn’t have been that special.

Undyne pressed her boots into the ground again, preparing. Papyrus swung his bone sword overhead, Undyne threw her hands into the air, preparing for an easy block with her spear. “NYEH-HEH!” Papyrus laughed. His sword glowed a bright sapphire, burning with energy. Undyne flinched, attempting to keep her spear prepared, but it went straight through! What!?

Bonk!

Undyne reeled backwards from the attack, unconsciously grasping at her head where the blow was struck. Her vision blurred, and three Papyruses posed before her, clearly impressed with themselves. “HOW DID YOU LIKE MY NEW BLUE ATTACK?” He said, explaining instead of finishing her off. “SANS TAUGHT ME THIS ONE! HE SAID IT’S CALLED ‘MIND GAMES!’”

Ugh. Of course, that brother of his was a bad influence. Surprising that lazy brother would even teach him a fighting technique. Must have been worried about his friendship with the leader of a dangerous enemies. The jerk.

“YOU SEE!” Papyrus continued. Alphys’ human documentaries always showed that historically all humans explained their attacks in great detail to the enemy for some reason. Papyrus enjoyed those parts. “MY BLUE ATTACKS ARE STRONGER AGAINST MOVING TARGETS! WHEN YOU HELD YOUR SPEAR STATIONARY, BUT FLINCHED YOURSELF, I WAS ABLE TO GO STRAIGHT THROUGH YOUR DEFENSES!”

“Yeah, I figured that out!” Undyne growled, rubbing her bruised temple. An attack like that should have done more damage.

“IMPRESSIVE, NO?” Papyrus asked.

… It was pretty impressive. The human even nodded. Little brat. “You know that’s not gonna work twice on me, right?” Undyne growled, her vision becoming clearer, pain subsiding slightly.

“NYEH-HEH-HEH! WE’LL SEE!”

Cocky. She wasn’t about to let him win. “You should have kept attacking while you had the chance,” Undyne growled, her strength returning. “You always do this!”  

For once he didn’t reply.

“Bah, enough talking!” She groaned, spears materializing around his armored body. She had had enough of this. The human was too important to play these games. She clenched her fist, and the spears shot forward towards him. He’d be forced to block.

He did not. Instead he slammed his shield forward into her body, knocking the wind out of her, yet again. Each spear struck his armor, cracks spiderwebbing throughout, piercing through and striking Papyrus at the core. It must have hurt, since for once he didn’t even cry out in his goofy way. Instead, he pushed the attack, swiping his bone sword again.

Undyne regained her composure quickly, holding her ground steadily. The blue attack was strong, but she stood firm, and her block held. Soon, it was nothing but a flurry of blue and green. Each traded each other blow for blow, each strike hitting harder than the last. Papyrus no longer posed, no longer let up, but neither did she.

Her spears cut deep, and his bones bruised her scales, her flimsy leather armor barely absorbing the attacks. Without his usual banter, she slipped into a trance like state, attacking and countering, dodging and standing still to avoid his blue attacks. He was tiring. His armor was too heavy, his shield too cumbersome.

Soon, his shield was gone, a broken lump of useless metal, pierced to shreds. Papyrus still didn’t stop. His helmet’s teeth were broken, the replica skull malformed and dented. His chest no longer puffed out, no longer extruded an aura of buff muscles, instead caved in on itself. Still, Papyrus didn’t give up. His attacks were too easy to read, too slow now. He backed away, but she gave him no ground, her spears thrusting forever onward, a second wind in her fighting now.

Desperately, Papyrus swung horizontally towards her, the blue magic flickering out like a cheap lightbulb. It came to her naturally. She stood still, and it passed through uselessly. He was open. She struck forward again, a powerful blow, her spear dead center on his skull.

“N-NYEH!” He cried, finally, his skull flying off into the chasm. No, she breathed a sigh of relief. His helmet. But, she saw his face now, finally. Sweating, exhausted and bruised. Their spars had never gone this far. She hesitated as Papyrus stumbled backwards, appearing ashamed to have lost his skull, or maybe ashamed to show his face.

His crumpled boots fell to the rushing waters behind. It wasn’t deep, but the water had created a sticky mud that trapped the skeleton. He didn’t appear to have the strength to free himself anymore. In the next instant, a boulder struck him, and he toppled over like a plastic action figure.

“Papyrus!” Undyne yelled, her fighter’s high gone. He grasped the cliff’s edge, his body hanging dangerously over the chasm’s mouth.

“I’M FINE!” Papyrus replied with a stutter.

“No, you’re not, you idiot!” Undyne lunged forward, grabbing his gauntlet. Her power was drained, as was his. She could pull him up, but it would take every bit of her energy. Out of the corner of her eye, a movement, that damned brat! She saw it sneaking away. She tried to summon another wall of spears. She couldn’t.

“UNDYNE, I’M FINE!” He clearly lied. “YOU WON FAIR AND SQUARE! DON’T LET THE HUMAN GET AWAY!” His body hung limp. He had given up.

The Rebel Leader couldn’t let that human escape! Monsters were counting on her! It could hurt someone! This was their chance to be one step closer to being free! To giving all monsters the choice they deserved. She could help protect those too weak to defend themselves, too quiet to speak up for themselves! Lesser Dog died because of those disgusting humans!

“A FALL LIKE THIS WON’T HURT THE GREAT PAPYRUS!” He continued, but his eye sockets betrayed his confidence. “YOU’RE THE HERO HERE! GO, EVERYONE IS COUNTING ON YOU!”

Her grip lessened. She had to save the Underground. He was an enemy. She had to do whatever it took for her fellow monsters. The old king probably would have done the same. There was no chance for a grey area anymore. She could still catch that human if she let go now.

“No!” She screamed, holding on tight. “I’m not letting my best friend die, you bonehead!” With a grunt, she pulled harder, arms crying out in pain. “What kind of hero to monster kind would I be if I chose a human’s life over a monster’s?!”

“BUT YOU WON!”

“I don’t care!” She yelled. “This way, we’re both losers! Now pull yourself up, you coward!”

Somehow, it took him a moment to decide if it was worth it or not. But her words rang true. If he was a loser, at least he was a loser with his best friend. His other arm shook as he grasped the edge, using every bit of his energy to pull himself up.

With a grunt, she finally pulled him up to safety.

The two sprawled out in the mud, chests heaving, dirtied, disgusting and weak. For a while, Undyne simply stared up at the cavern’s ceiling, gazing at the sparkling drops of water, imagining if this is what the stars might look like.

“UNDYNE,” Papyrus huffed, still lying beside her like a sack of discarded bones. “I’M SORRY.”

She didn’t even have the energy to turn to him. She stared up at the sparkling cavern walls, dreaming of what could have been. “What are you sorry for? You didn’t do anything wrong, Paps,” she said finally.

He must have been looking up at the dark stalactites as well, imagining the twinkle of stars. “MAYBE YOU’RE RIGHT.” He stalled, as if it pained him to speak. “RIGHT ABOUT THE HUMAN. I SHOULDN’T HAVE GOTTEN IN THE WAY.”

Undyne snorted, a light laughter escaping her sharp fangs. It hurt too much. “You know, Paps, I was thinking the same thing. Maybe you’re the one in the right. Maybe taking the human is wrong.”

She heard bones rattling, dirt scraping. He sat up. “BUT, UNDYNE! THE OUTSIDE COULD BE WONDERFUL! IMAGINE HOW HAPPY EVERYONE WOULD BE!”

Again, she laughed, clutching her stomach. It hurt so much. Finally, this was what she wanted! Papyrus was on her side. But the funniest thing? She said, “I don’t know if it’s worth it, though, Paps.” Now she was on the opposite side still.

“IT MUST BE!” He shouted.

Even now, they couldn’t agree. “Look what I did to you,” she said, her laughter harsh and dry. She finally had what she wanted, yet she was no longer sure of herself. She was never sure of herself. “I almost let you fall, you know.” She had never felt such guilt before. The shame stuck to her, clotted between her scales like mud.

“BUT YOU DIDN’T!”

She stopped laughing. She couldn’t understand. He was right on that point, technically, at least.

“ONE OF US MUST BE RIGHT!” Papyrus sounded as unsure as her now, although slightly annoyed. It must not have been often he questioned himself either.

“Maybe we’re both wrong?” Undyne sighed, finding a more comfortable position in the dirt.  

Papyrus made a loud ‘HMM’ to himself, rubbing his bony jaw audibly. “YOU MAY BE RIGHT.”

Again, she couldn’t help but laugh, but at least this time it didn’t hurt as much. Her strength was returning, at least a little.

“THIS MORALITY STUFF IS PRETTY HARD,” Papyrus admitted. “WHAT DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD DO?”

Undyne let out a grunt, feeling a renewed vigor inside her gut. She sat up with Papyrus and looked him dead in the eye sockets. She’d tell him exactly how she felt, she was confident now.

“I don’t know!”

“THAT’S NOT VERY HELPFUL.” He frowned.

“Who cares!” Undyne yelled. “I’ll figure something out!”

It wasn’t often that Papyrus played the voice of reason. “BUT WHAT ABOUT THE HUMAN?”

Again, she shrugged. She needed to kill the little brat. There was no question about that. The soul was of vital importance. On that, she would never falter. Even if it hurt her, even if it felt wrong, she needed to. For those that were unhappy. For everyone. Even for Papyrus. “Maybe nothing needs to be done just yet. Maybe we can work something out.”

She said the words aloud but didn’t believe them. Toriel would never hand over the soul, even if the human lived a full life and died of natural causes. She might have no choice. But, at least until then, she could try. She could keep an eye on the human, make sure it never hurt anyone. Maybe it didn’t need to die yet. Or maybe she just needed time to get her strength back.

“THAT WOULD BE NICE!” Papyrus said with a smile, but it wasn’t quite as confident as usual. Even he must have had doubts. Would he still get in her way? She wondered.

But, for now, it didn’t matter. She sat back with her friend, enjoying his company, listening to the droplets of water fall. “Only thing I know for sure now is, we’re both losers.” She grinned.

She’d never felt so happy to be a loser.

“THE BEST LOSERS!” Papyrus added. “NO ONE CAN BEAT US AT LOSING! NYEH-HEH-HEH!”

“Damn straight!” Undyne roared, laughing heartily again. “If only people could have seen us lose to each other! Our moves were so good!”

“OH YES! YOU WERE GREAT, UNDYNE! ALMOST AS GREAT AS ME!”

For a while, they forgot about the human, forgot about their rivalry. There was something so simplistic and fun in just sharing stories, or practicing their cool moves for their next heart-stopping spar. And maybe that was what was missing – a simple friendship where it didn’t feel like the fate of the Underground was set on her shoulders.

At the very least, her time with Papyrus was a nice break from her goal. That was all it was, she would tell herself, but she would enjoy the heck out of it for as long as she could.