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quirkwizard · 4 years

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Spoiled Sushi

For a while, a certain article has been vexing me. One that seems to have a great misunderstanding of the series it was writing about, missing obvious points and core parts of the worldbuilding. No, it wasn’t by CBR, nor was it by Screenrant. But it was by Cruchyroll of all places. They decided to make an article about the Top 5 Misused Quirks in My Hero Academia. It was not good and has been bugging me. So I decided to give them a taste of their own medicine. I mean they try to shut down whoever even attempts to do what they do, so why not make fun of them for trying to do what I do? Plus you guys seem to like it when I’m snarky, so this could be fun for everyone.

For clarity’s sake, this was written at the beginning of 2019, when the most recent chapter was Chapter 214 and the the anime had only reached Season 3. I’m keeping that in mind as I write. I will also be skipping around some of the parts of the article as I am talking about it. If its not worth mentioning, I won’t bring it up, simple as that. For instance, I’m skipping the intro because it is completely superfluous and would only serve to make a completely different fanbase mad. Might as well, most of what I am passing up are just dumb jokes. But if you are curious... don’t waste your time reading this. Your time is valuable and you have better things to do then read this article.

5. Kurogiri Can Create Free, Renewable Energy

“In all seriousness, though, Kurogiri is probably one of the most powerful characters in the anime, with their being virtually no limit to how far he can extend his Warp Gate portals.”

I mean there are certainly limits for his Quirk. Besides the need to know the coordinates or see where he is moving, there’s obviously a limit to how much he can spread out his body.

“Why then doesn’t he use them to create near-infinite energy? Open two portals one above another, throw in a heavy object inside and watch it fall endlessly. Devise a way to hook a dynamo or something to it and, bam, you have free power that would make Kurogiri a billionaire overnight and a hero to the entire planet.”

This idea has so many problems that I don’t even know where to begin.

One, if this could work, it likely wouldn’t make a lot of energy. Besides the various physics problems involved in this, Kurogiri would just be one guy doing this, meaning that it’s unlikely he’d be able to make enough power to matter.

Two, Kurogiri would still need rest as he is a living being, meaning he wouldn’t to keep up this theoretical contraption forever and you’d get even less energy relying on him. At most, it would work best in a small bunker as a last resort.

Three, that sounds like it would be a lot more dangerous then it would be worth for the energy made. If Kurogiri would to lose focus for a moment, the portals fall apart and there would just be a lot of damage from this heavy object moving at high speeds.

“Even if Kurogiri only cares about taking down All Might, it would still be much easier to do if he had a literal mountain of money/public goodwill at his side.”

What kind of bizzaro universe are you living in where the guy who makes energy could possibly turn public option about the very well liked Number 1 Hero that saves lives every day? That’s literally what Lex Luthor does and people hate him for it.

4. Koji Koda Could Help Feed Billions Of People

“Koji is the resident Class 1-A stoner (get it? he's made of rock? come on) with the power to control ANY creature in the animal kingdom. This would logically also include spiders, meaning that Koji could literally end all street crime in, like, 5 minutes tops by swallowing all the criminals up in a giant arachno-tsunami.”

While this article is infuriating in many ways, it did give us the mental image of an “arachno-tsunami”. Which is totally worth sitting through this jumbled mess of words and ignorance.

“But, you see, Koji is just too shy and nice to be an effective hero. He wants to do good but he just doesn’t have that fighter instinct in him. Which is why he should instead use his Anivoice Quirk to revolutionize agriculture all around the world.”

You can be an effective hero and not beat people up. Sure, it certainly can come up in the job description, but that isn’t all of what a hero is meant to do. Koda’s Quirk makes him great at information gathering and rescue work, two very important aspects of hero work that suit his personality perfectly.

“Give him a megaphone and fly him over American fields, telling feral pigs to stop causing $1.5 billion worth of damage a year in destroyed crops. Fly him to Australia to tell the invasive cane toads and rabbits to kindly lemming themselves off a cliff. Have him tell the aggressive lionfish the get the hell out of the Atlantic. FORCE HIM TO GET OVER HIS FEAR OF BUGS AND MAKE AGRICULTURAL PESTS A THING OF THE PAST. “

There is no possible way Koda could be everywhere at once to pull that off. And considering that the average human voice can only carry for about a mile, IE, about the average size of a single farm. You know, because animals need to hear his voice in order to receive his commands. So even if it was limited to a single farm, its unlikely to do much to help. But by far the biggest issue with this entire plan is that what Koda does to an animal is not permanent. The second his control is interrupted, the animals return to normal, bound to just go back to whatever they were doing before.

So if Koda tries to change anything, its just going to end up undone by the time he leaves, just delaying the inevitable problem that comes from these animals. So even if Koda told the pigs to go away, they’d likely be back by the next day, destroying farmland like nothing happened. Even then, because of the previous limitations, he’d still have to go farm by farm to pull it off. That’s not even mentioning all of the other suggestions. Honestly, if you wanted to do something with Quirk, you should just convince all the animals to line up during hunting season. Dark, yes, but it least it would offer a more permanent solution then what the writer is suggesting.

“If Koji was utilized properly, he could travel the world undoing mankind’s mistakes and creating organic, pesticide-free crops instead of doing what he does now, which is largely sitting around on his ass roleplaying Snow White.”

Which, in spite of many fans joking about his Quirk, has shown to be very helpful quite a few times.

3. Inko Midoriya Would Have Made A Great Nurse

“Izuku’s mother in My Hero Academia has mainly done two things so far: jack and squat.”

I mean she did design Izuku’s costume, even if it got replaced, its is still a corner stone of his design, and she offered a good amount of drama after the fight with All Might and All For One.

“She did try to be a good mother but kind of failed at that when she tearfully apologized to her son because he was born without a Quirk, essentially telling him: “I’m so sorry I gave birth to such a loser.””

Would you believe that this one line was what really prompted me to talk about this? Because that is probably one of the worst takes I have ever in relation to this series. If you honestly believed that is what Inko was doing, the woman who practically raised her child by herself and constantly talks about much she cares for him, you must be watching the wrong series. That’s the only way I could explain why that is.

“So, she doesn’t really have much going on in her life. That’s why she should try nursing instead. I realize that becoming a nurse takes a lot of hard work and dedication, but Inko would be a natural fit for it. Despite her initial shortcomings, she is a very caring person with loads of empathy.”

Inko’s empathic? Could have fooled me. I mean she did feel the need to apologize to her son for giving birth to a loser. No, I am not over that, how could you have possibly gotten that from the scene?!

“She also has the power of limited telekinesis. Inko can move small objects over short distances, and while that would not be helpful for stopping crime, it would be great for, say, removing kidney stones. Or things stuck in people’s throats. Or coins from children’s stomachs.”

Trying to use a Quirk like this in any kind of medical procedure is laughable at best and dangerous at worst. Imagine if Inko had to remove a bullet from someone. From what we see, the process of her moving objects is slow and need several pulls from her to attract the object to her. So if she’s going to try to pull it out and its going to get caught on something, causing more damage to the person she is trying to save. She’s basically going to be keying the insides of whoever she is trying to operate on.

The entire reasons doctors, especially surgeons, train for so long is because the human body can be extremely delicate. It needs a lot of care and time so the doctors don’t make things worse for the patients. It’s why surgeons need to have such steady hands and a lot of time even to due minor procedures. But trying to do that with a Quirk is just going to cause more problems then it can solve. Doing that with a Quirk like Inko’s just lacks a lot of the precision and dexterity necessary to pull this off.

2. Uraraka Should Go Work For A Shipping Company

“Ochaco Uraraka has one of the most well-rounded Quirks out of all the main characters: Zero Gravity. With it, she can make objects and people float, which is great for offense, defense, and rescue operations. As a superheroine, she is doing everything right with her Quirk.”

I mean “Zero Gravity” can kind of be used offensively, but not effectively as other Quirks. Its why she did all of that training with Gun Head to make up for her lack of an offensive presence. Eh, two of three ain’t bad. I’ll take what I can get.

“I just think Uraraka should never have become a superheroine in the first place. Uraraka has actually always been honest about her motivation: she wants dem YEN YEN BILLS YO (for her struggling family.)”

That’s because hero work is an extremely frugal business even super minor heroes can still seem to make a decent living out of it.

“But regular jobs also exist in that world, and that must include shipping companies that would instantly hire Uraraka to Zero-G their freighters, trucks, and planes. Even if she cannot make them float, she can still remove enough gravity from them to save the company tons of fuel. Company profit margins are razor thin.”

First off, its mentioned several times that if you want to use a Quirk for a job, you need to have a hero license. Its to make sure you know how to use your Quirk properly so you don’t end up hurting someone with your powers. So for her to even try this, she needs to go through hero school anyway. Might as well get the most out of it. Second, Uraraka cannot lower the gravity of her target. Either the object is floating or it isn’t floating. There is no in between for Uraraka.

Third, given what we’ve seen from Uraraka, there is no possible way that she could ever lift that much. She’s barely able to lift three lower numbered robots and that was only for a few seconds. So, at the most, she can lift a few tons. How exactly do you expect her to work with something like a cargo plane, which, on its own, can weight over forty five tons, not including fuel or any extra cargo?

Which is another thing I noticed throughout the article: the writer seems to severely overestimate how effective Quirks actually are. The range and scope of Quirks is much smaller then other power systems, even when compared to similar “low level” series like HunterxHunter. Like every kind of application listed goes far beyond what most Quirks are capable of, such as forgetting certain drawbacks. And that is most notable with the last suggestion.

1. Momo Could Solve Literally All The World’s Problems

I bet Kohei Horikoshi was really proud of himself when he came up with Momo Yaoyorozu’s design: No, see, she HAS to dress scantily because her Quirk is Creation, i.e. the ability to create any object she wants through her skin, which must be constantly exposed. Peachy.”

Oh boy, it wouldn’t be any sort of discussion about Momo without beating that long dead horse. What’s next? Bakugou angry? Izuku cry?

“Momo can apparently create anything as long as she understands its composition, and seeing as she’s made an ethanol spray can, infrared goggles, a lighter, and a tracker, it seems like there’s nothing she cannot make.”

Oh boy, it wouldn’t be any sort of discussion about Momo without a grievous misunderstanding of how her Quirk works either. Maybe they are in the fandom. As I have mentioned in my Momo Misconceptions post, Momo needs fat to make what she does. She’s not an alchemist where she can just clap her hands and make whatever she wants. If she doesn’t have enough fat, she cannot make items. By those very rules, some things are just out of her reach because it would just take too much fat. It’s why she limits herself to simpler items.

“Cool. MAKE US SOME HELIUM THEN. The world is running out of the gas and we need it for MRI scanners and the like. Momo could make more of it.”

Actually, we don’t even know for sure if Momo is capable of making gases. All we have seen her make is solids and a few liquids. There is the lighter she made, but that could easily run on lighter fluid.

“Or thorium. She could make thorium that we could use to make thorium-based reactors that are apparently way safer than uranium ones.”

Thorium isn’t even that rare, just as about as common as lead and three times as common as uranium. Even if it was a problem, it would likely kill her, either from burning through all of her fat or from the exposure to radiation.

“Medicine, fresh water, cheap electronics that we could send to developing countries: Momo could crank all of those out in an afternoon.“

Yes, in theory, Momo could do that, but not the extent that she would make a major difference in the world like they are suggesting. There are just more practical and better long term solutions then trying to force a single person to do all of that. It’s almost as if Momo is a regular human being who has limitations you need to keep in mind when making these ill informed suggestions.

“And while spending your life as a walking Everything Faucet might not seem that glamorous, it actually has the potential to change the entire planet for the better.”

Given the kind of set up and effort that would be required to even attempt that, I think “horrific” would be a more appropriate descriptor since it would be done to a living, thinking person.

Honestly, I think that most of these people are doing more with their Quirks now then with any of these suggestions. At least, when you actually think about the rules and limits of the characters. Sure, Inko isn’t doing much, but she is a civilian with a fairly weak Quirk. Kurogiri acts as a major player within the League, getting them around quickly and evading capture. I mean he is using his power to help out a bunch of villains, but my point still stands that he is not “misusing” his Quirk.

In fact, a majority of the people on this list are doing more to help people and save lives by being heroes. Given the limitations of their abilities, using them to stop superpowered criminals who risking damaging the people around and helping victims of these crimes is doing then any of those roles in spite of the fact that the article tries its best to downplay that these people are already saving lives. So, in reality, they are doing far more to help people then doing any of these ideas, you damp sock of a writer.

#My Hero Academia #Quirks

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kyutown · 3 years

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Hii i was just reading some of your stories (which are really good btw. I followed you 🙂) and i was wondering if you could do a ship with cravity, stray kids and the boyz if you have time.

Sorry this will be insanely un organized...

Im a bit younger than the youngest out of all these groups. My personality type is INFP-T and im 5’2.5” (159 ish cm) I tend to be a bit boyish(clothing style and personality) but if i want to i can be feminine lol. My favourite colours are darker blue, purple, and black. I dont like really really masculine men. I am sometime antisocial. love sweaters, blankets and pillows (especially body pillows...they are just so comfortable) my hobbies are trying to sing and dance, watching youtube, anime and Netflix, l live in my bed cuz i live sleeping. When its summer i love swimming in lakes and rivers, i like camping and stuff. Im kinda quirky yknow? When people first see me they think im a jerk because i have a really un impressed face all the time, its my resting face and it sucks sometimes. But if they approach me they find out that im actually quite shy and funny. After getting to know me more i can be loud and a bit strange. Im really emotional and occasionally can get moody quite easily. so someone who can cheer me up somehow but not in a crazy way would be nice. Im very honest when it comes to people asking for advice and stuff like that but will always be a shoulder to lean of if someone else is having a really hard time even though i am not the best at comforting. I love cuddling if i have a good friendship with someone but if they were uncomfortable i wouldnt. I love junkfood, meat, noodles, potatoes, hash brown casserole that my mom makes, popcorn. I dislike some seafoods like sushi, shrimp, seaweed, etc. I also dislike when people pretend to like me but really dont. Id rather them just straight up say/show that they dont really like me so i dont think wrongly. Ive probably forgotten a bunch of important stuff but whenever lol. This is a bit about me, i hope its enough for a ship. Ty sm if you do this <3

hi! thank you for responding!

for cravity, i think seongmin would be a great fit for you! seongmin enjoys sleeping and loves to sleep! i think seongmin would be the type to sleep a lot with you and would probably spend lots of your guys time in bed. you guys would watch movies in bed, read in bed, play games in bed and would do anything you guys can in bed! he also really enjoys to watch movies and drama so watching movies and dramas in bed would be a daily thing for you guys! if you guys are too busy during the day, i think he would always make sure you guys have time at night to watch with you!

for stray kids, i think jeongin would be a nice pair! i think jeongin is the type to go on a adventure with you! on days you feel like having a day to explore, he would always be prepared and would pack you stuff and his stuff to go on a little adventure! he would walk with you to the beach or pool to spend a day, having fun in the water! he would bring water guns, floaties, and tons of other water toys! he would also take you on a camping trip where he would try to make all of the food and would end the camping night with a little song around the camp fire with you!

for the boyz, i think you would match well with younghoon! younghoon is the type of guy who would always encourage you anc cheer you up in the type of way like it! he would not be crazy but still be very excited and would show his excitement through his words! he would also be the type to sing to you at night. he would quietly sing to you whether that be a lullaby or just a song you guys both like and would most likely cuddle you to bed. younghoon would be such a sweetheart and the times you guys spend together would always be full of love and affection!

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mermaidcashton · 4 years

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dance in the living room, love with an attitude

authors: claire (@mermaidcashton) & laura (@maluminspace) ship/AU: michael clifford/ashton irwin, roommates AU prompt: “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I have no idea what I’m doing. I almost never do.” wordcount: 10k+ warnings: swearing, implied & explicit sexual content a/n: • written for @maluminspace & @h0tsos ‘s 5sos fic writers collab (in which we all chose from a list of AU’s and had the above prompt quote to include - check out the masterlist linked to see everyone elses!) • i do not give permission for this (or any of my writing) to be reposted, by anyone, on this or any other website. please don’t do it! • title from ‘only human’ by the jonas brothers dance in the living room, love with an attitude *** The music was probably turned up a little too loud, but it helped to drown out the nerves starting to bubble away in Michael’s tummy. ‘I hope ‘Ashton’ likes MCR’ he thought as he half-heartedly wiped down the kitchen counters with a damp cloth. He wanted the place to look mildly tidier than it usually did for his new flatmate. First impressions counted for a lot, as his mum had told him twice this week already.

Once the splashes of milk from this morning’s mishap with the cereal had been washed away along with the crumbs from last night’s dinner of peanut butter on toast, he stole a quick glance at the clock on the wall over in the living room area. It wasn’t quite midday, which meant he had a little over an hour until his new roommate was due to arrive. That should mean that he just about had enough time to vacuum the whole flat and take a shower. Throwing the dishcloth into the little cleaning basket on the window ledge, Michael focused on screaming the lyrics to ‘Thank you for Venom’ and tried not to focus too much on the anxiety about the rest of the day.

Agreeing to live with someone he’d never met in person probably wasn’t the smartest of ideas. It’s not like Michael had been given much choice, though. His last flatmate had given him less than a week’s notice when she decided to move in with her short-term girlfriend and left Michael with a whole bunch of bills that his meagre paycheck could never stretch far enough to cover. Luckily, his best friend Luke had a work colleague who desperately needed a new place to live since his landlord had slapped him with a very short notice period to move out of his current flat. Luke had offered to give this work friend Michael’s contact details and the following morning, Michael had woken up to a text from a guy called Ashton who was very interested in Michael’s recently vacant spare room.

After explaining the cost of rent and other bills in a few subsequent texts, Michael had received a very grateful reply from Ashton asking if it would be possible to move in that weekend. Of course the blonde had agreed, eager to get the awkward first meeting out of the way as soon as possible.

Determined to get his most hated chore done before he could start collecting his thoughts and mentally preparing for the arrival of his new flatmate, Michael grabbed the portable hoover from the charging port on the tiny bit of the kitchen wall that was not taken up by the counters and cabinets. He was just about to press the ‘ON’ button when a knock at the door put an abrupt halt to his plans.

Michael huffed as he made his way over to the front door. The only people that had the security code for the entrance of the building were his parents and Luke, neither of which were due to visit today. That left only someone who had the wrong flat, or one other possible visitor; his neighbour, Calum. They’d hang out sometimes, whenever their days off matched up. Their shared interest in certain obscure and rare computer games and a mutual love of sushi and beer made for hours of fun without the chore of actually having to leave the building. Michael had definitely made sure to let Calum know that he was expecting his new flatmate to arrive today, though, so he was a little confused as to why his neighbour would be dropping by now.

That feeling only intensified when a glance through the spy hole on his front door revealed that Calum was accompanied by a stranger. He opened the door cautiously, still feeling a little bewildered.

“Hey, mate.” Calum grinned, waving a handful of unopened letters in greeting. “Just found this guy outside with a bunch of boxes. I knew you were expecting your new flatmate today, so I helped bring his stuff up.” His dark brown eyes surveyed Michael with something like confusion from beneath the rim of his seemingly ever-present black bucket hat.

Michael could only imagine that his neighbour was mirroring his own befuddled expression because Ashton wasn’t due to arrive for another hour. He forced himself to look over at the stranger, whilst his mind worked over what was happening.

It appeared that Calum was right in assuming this was Ashton. He was indeed carrying a large cardboard box labelled ‘bedroom’ that would definitely suggest he was moving house. There were also a bunch of smaller boxes piled against the wall beside the front door which supported that assumption.

“Do you guys need any more help?” Calum offered, “I’m free if…”

“Nah, it’s fine.” Michael cut in quickly. “We can take it from here, thanks Cal.” The last thing Michael wanted was more people to see the apartment in its current state.

“No worries.” Calum smiled, “You know where I am if you change your mind.” He turned his attention to his little fluffy dog who had been patiently waiting for his post-walk nap. “C’mon Duke.”

Once Calum and his little fluff ball had wandered off across the hall towards their own apartment, Michael turned his attention back to Ashton. Three things struck him about his new flatmate in very quick succession;

Ashton was incredibly hot. His curly black hair hung loosely around his handsome face, framing his chiselled cheekbones and clean shaven, angular jaw beautifully. His hazel eyes were striking from behind the horn-rimmed glasses perched neatly on his perfectly ski-slope shaped nose.

He looked vaguely familiar. Michael knew that he’d seen Ashton’s face somewhere before but it wouldn’t quite click in his brain. Not that it would be entirely surprising if they’d met before, they did share a close friend after-all. It just seemed a little off that Luke hadn’t reminded Michael of the occasion they'd met at before suggesting they live together.

Despite his silence, Ashton looked somewhat annoyed, possibly bordering on angry. That struck Michael as odd. He had been known to piss people off fairly regularly but seeing as he’d barely even spoken to Ashton, this would be an all time record.

“So you must be Ashton…” Michael smiled, awkwardly tucking a strand of his messy blonde hair behind his ear whilst offering his free hand out for his new flatmate to shake. “I’m Michael, or you can call me Mike if you want. Most of my friends do.” Ashton didn’t accept the offer of a handshake, in fact he made no movement whatsoever. He simply glared at Michael with an increasing level of irritation. “Are you kidding me?”

Michael knew that he was not the prettiest of people. He dressed casually most of the time and due to Ashton’s early appearance, he’d not yet had a chance to shower and make himself a little more presentable. He didn’t think that he quite deserved such a cutting greeting, though. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting you yet, I was just…”

“You don’t even remember me, do you?!” Ashton interrupted, his tone dripping of resentment now. “Fucking unbelievable!” Michael couldn’t remember ever feeling more confused in his life. Ashton hadn’t mentioned that they’d previously met in his text messages so why would he be so angry that Michael hadn’t immediately recognised him now?

The newcomer’s harsh tone had caught Calum’s attention, causing the neighbour to pause in sorting through his mail and stare unashamedly at the scene unfolding across the hall.

“This could only fucking happen to me…” Ashton huffed, adjusting his grip on the box in his arms. “I get turfed out of my flat because my landlord suddenly decides he wants it for his daughter and just when I think I’ve landed on my feet with a new place, my new fucking flatmate turns out to be a one night stand who doesn’t even remember me! Talk about kicking a guy when he’s down!”

Michael barely registered Calum’s audible gasp as realisation crashed around him. Suddenly the memory of the beautiful man that had swept Michael off his feet at a bar a few months back replayed in his head like a movie he’d seen once but hadn’t been able to remember the title of. He’d only known the guy as Ash and he’d assumed it was short for Ashley. Despite the fact that Ash’s hair had been a sexy shade of crimson, styled in a neat quiff and he hadn’t been wearing glasses, it was definitely the same guy that was standing in front of him right now.

“Ash…” the word escaped Michael almost of it’s own volition. “But I thought that was short for… oh my god, this can’t be happening.” He cupped his own face in his hands as the reality of the awkward situation began to settle into the very fibre of his being.

“Wow, you can’t make this shit up.” Calum gasped, an almost delighted smile on his face. “What’re you guys gonna do?”

Despite Calum’s annoying rubbernecking, it gave Michael the perfect excuse to look away from Ashton for a second. “Well I’m gonna throw something at you, if you don’t get lost right now, Calum.” He hissed.

“He’s not the one coming across like a shithead right now.” Ashton scoffed, setting the box in his arms onto the floor. “Being a nosey neighbour still makes you a hell of a better person than the guy that flatters their way into your bed and gives you amazing sex but then gives you a fake number!”

“That’s right.” Calum agreed. “People that do that are the worst. At least have the balls to tell the other person you’re not looking for anything long term before you disappear the next day.”

“Calum, I swear to god…” Michael hissed.

Ashton shook his head angrily. “He’s right, if you never wanted to see me again, you could have just said. I wouldn’t have wasted some of my best moves on you.”

“Oh, what were the moves?” Calum smirked, prying his way further into the conversation.

His neighbour’s blatant disregard for the seriousness of the situation was annoying to say the least. It was also the last thing Michael needed to deal with right now. “Piss off, Calum!”, he snapped.

Duke yapped disapprovingly at Michael, his tiny eyes focused on the blonde man as his human’s smirk grew even further across his face.

“Oh, you can shut up as well!” Michael snapped at the tiny pooch. “Now you’re yelling at a dog.” Ashton rolled his eyes. “Maybe it’s a good thing you blew me off, looks like I had a lucky escape from dating an arsehole!” Michael really couldn’t envisage the situation getting any worse. At this rate he was going to be searching for another roommate instead of enjoying a pleasant lunch with this one, like he’d hoped.

“I didn’t give you a fake number!” Michael protested. “I swear, I’m not like that, and I really liked you! I broke my phone, the same weekend we...met.” He felt his cheeks begin to colour, trying his hardest to ignore Calum’s snort as he focused on Ashton’s disbelieving face.

“It took me two weeks to sort out a new one, I had a little pay as you go in between, I had a different number, and I-you did call, then?” Michael paused his blurted explanations to blurt out a question, instead. He had been wondering every time it was late and he was alone for 6 months whether or not he’d missed a call from the best one night stand of his life.

“Of course I did!” Ashton threw his hands up in exasperation, startling Duke and sending him scuttling back into the still-open doorway of the opposite flat. “I thought we had a connection, we said we wanted to see each other again; that doesn’t happen that often for me! Maybe it does for you…”

“Oh, it definitely doesn’t.” Calum smirked. “The only man who comes to see Michael regularly is the Domino’s delivery guy.”

Before Michael could blow up at him, Calum backed up properly into his flat, resting his hand on his front door. “It’s a shame, actually,” he continued, smiling encouragingly at his neighbour. “Michael is really a great guy. He always has time for me and Duke; whether it’s for beers, a listening ear, or belly rubs.”

He throws a wink to Ashton as he shuts his front door with a click. “I’ll leave you to figure out which one is for me. Welcome to the building!”

Michael knows he needs to gain control of the slightly-stunned silence left in Calum’s wake, fast. He needs to say something apologetic, or charming, or cool. “Do you like fish fingers?” Or that.

Ashton blinked a few times in quick succession, and Michael wanted to throw himself down the stairs.

“Do I like fish fingers?” Ashton repeated, pushing his long black hair back with both hands.

Michael flushed again, at least thankful for the fact that he no longer had an audience for the most embarrassing encounter of his life. “It’s just, I thought we could have lunch, and talk, and I’m not really much of a cook, but I have fish fingers, right, and everyone likes fish finger sandwiches...don’t they…” He trailed off, hoping Luke perhaps had another co-worker who needed immediate accommodation.

Ashton fixed him with the most intense stare he’d ever received in a conversation about freezer food, and Michael tried to match his unrelenting gaze in a way that would make him look less like he wanted to cry. Ashton’s eyes really were beautiful, seeming almost magnified by his glasses. He looked thoughtful and sad now, rather than judgmental and angry, and Michael would take that.

“I do.” Ashton decided on, after what felt like an eternity. He stooped down to pick up his box again, muscles tensing, and Michael’s mind began to wander.

He remembered Ashton’s arms looking just like that as he lifted him up for the last few feet of the journey to the redhead-at-the-time’s bed. Michael could almost feel his fingers digging into the bare skin of his thighs all over again. The memories of slow, wet, considered neck kisses being broken with teeth, and the delicious burn that started low and spread like wildfire as Ashton stretched him out like he was born to do it.

“Michael? After you?” Michael snapped out of his daze, dragging his eyes away from Ashton’s lips where they had landed at some point in his reminiscing. He stepped back so Ashton could enter the flat and set the box down by the sofa. “Yeah, great, come in, make yourself at home, I’ll get the rest of your boxes!” As soon as he was outside in the corridor, Michael let out a breath he hadn’t realised he was holding. ‘Okay, Clifford - you need to snap out of it. Relax and smooth things over so you two can live together.’ He told himself, as sternly as he could manage. ‘We need a roommate more than we need to get laid.’

‘That’s debatable.’ Another voice - which sounded more like Calum than himself - chimed in before Michael shook it off and picked up the stack of cardboard boxes cluttering up the corridor.

‘Okay, you can do this. Damage control. Just be normal. Go in and face this head on. You can do this.’ Michael murmured, running his tongue over his bitten lips as he took his first steps back to where Ashton was waiting.

He hip-checked the front door closed as he re-entered the flat, placing the boxes next to one Ashton had carried in, before straightening up to see Ashton sat on the sofa, looking both nervous and delicious.

“I…” Michael faltered under Ashton’s almost shy gaze, then caught sight of a slice of Ashton’s firm, hairy stomach from where his t-shirt was riding up slightly.

“I just need to go to the bathroom. Then we can...talk, and eat. Okay?” Michael forced what he hoped was a casual, winning smile, and then scuttled across to the bathroom the moment Ashton made a noise of agreement and nodded his head.

Michael clicked the lock shut and put the toilet lid down as he pulled his phone from the pocket of his sweatpants. He began tapping away with urgency as he took a seat on the toilet, pulling up his message thread with his best friend.

SOS!!!! 🚨

Luke!!!!

Where are you

LUKE FUCK HELP ME YOU DICK

With each message he sent, Michael could feel his panic beginning to swell back up in his chest. Finally, three dots began moving across the message to indicate Luke was writing. Help was on the way.

🥺🥺🥺 What’s up

Michael felt what he knew was an unjustified rage at Luke and his fucking emojis as he furiously typed a reply.

Oh nothing, I just had sex with my new roomate!!!

Michael jumped when his phone immediately started vibrating relentlessly, sliding his finger across the screen and holding it gingerly to his ear.

“Hello?” He whispered into the receiver.

“WHAT!!! What do you mean you’ve slept with him?! Ashton was due there at 12, and it’s now...12 minutes past 12! That’s INSANE, even for you! I cannot believe-”

“Luke!” Michael hissed through clenched teeth, turning on the cold tap on the sink before he spoke again. “Not today, idiot! Remember, months ago, when I broke my phone? That weekend, I hooked up with that guy I met at The Alchemist? Red hair, big arms, amazing mouth-”

“Yes, I remember! What’s that got to do with it?” Luke cut in.

“It was Ashton. I only knew him as Ash, remember? And obviously I never saw him again because I had no way to contact him after I broke my phone. But it’s him, Luke - he’s in my living room! In OUR living room! What am I gonna do?! I am freaking out!”

“Oh my God! You’ve really outdone yourself this time, Mike! You’ve had your new roommates dick in your mouth before he even moved in! Classic you.”

Michael could practically hear Luke’s eyeroll. “This is not classic me! Dick! Help me, Luke!”

“What do you want me to do, I can’t unfuck him for you!” Luke shot back. Michael let out an involuntary whimper and slumped further down on the toilet. He was so screwed.

***

Michael emerged from the bathroom, Luke’s advice ringing in his ears as he approached Ashton on the sofa. ‘He’s a really nice guy, Mike; just talk to him. Explain what happened after you hooked up, and say you hope you can put it behind you and be friends. I think he’ll be cool, honestly. Just try not to trip and land on his dick and you should be golden.’

He took one last deep breath as he sat down on the black leather beside his one-time lover.

“So, Ashton...I...listen, I’m sorry that I broke my phone and made you think I’d ghosted you. I’m just an idiot that dropped his phone outside Sainsbury’s. And I’m really sorry I didn’t recognise you straight away, I was just expecting someone I hadn’t, and your hair, and glasses, and-” Michael could feel himself starting to babble but he couldn’t stop himself; he was so desperate for Ashton to like him. He was trying not to think about why it was this important to him.

Ashton held his hand up to stop him with a small smile. “Michael, it’s okay.”

Michael stopped short in his unravelling with a look of surprise. “It is?”

Ashton’s smile grew wider. “Yeah. I was just a bit blindsided, and I was hurt at the time back then, you know? But you explained, you apologised, and you seem like a nice guy. Luke sure can’t talk you up enough, and I trust him. I have no reason not to believe this is gonna be all good.”

Michael blinked, unsure if this was too good to be true. “Yeah? So...we’re good? You’re gonna...stay?”

Ashton relaxed back into his seat, toeing his shoes off and under the coffee table. “If that’s okay with you, yeah. We’re both grown ups; we can keep it platonic and put the past behind us, right? Friends?”

Michael nodded, trying to hide the gulp in his throat. “Yeah, of course. Right. Great. Friends.” He could definitely do this.

***

He could definitely not do this.

It’d been a long one month, two weeks and three days of trying to convince himself that he didn’t want to be anything more than Ashton’s friend and roommate.

Some days, Michael thought it was possible to put those lingering feelings away and focus on their blossoming platonic relationship. After all, Ashton was everything most people could ever want in a flatmate. He was tidy, considerate, fairly quiet and respectful of personal boundaries. The slightly older man was also great company. Michael has had many pleasant conversations with him over breakfast and in the evenings before they went to bed.

As lovely as all of that was, Michael had started questioning if it was worth the growing ache in chest for more. Each new thing he learnt about Ashton made him more sure that he was probably the closest thing to the perfect man that Michael would ever know. It was a cruel twist of fate that had meant his one opportunity to have Ashton for himself had slipped through his fingers, quite literally. He cursed himself on a daily basis for that one clumsy moment when he’d fumbled pulling his old phone from his too-tight jeans outside the supermarket and had been forced to watch his only chance with Ashton sink into a muddy puddle.

Whatever higher powers existed had been even less kind to have that strong, gorgeous, well-hung man turn up on Michael’s doorstep months later, as his only hope of being able to keep the flat he’d grown to love.

Every day since then, seemed to have presented a new challenge or torture. First it was the tight t-shirts and vests Ashton wore more often than not. They accentuated every muscle of the raven-haired man’s torso and displayed his strong biceps in all their glory.

Then came the sleepy morning routine they’d subconsciously fallen into. Ashton would emerge from his room in nothing but his loose grey sweats and crooked glasses, his hair ruffled and his eyes heavily lidded, before joining Michael for a hasty breakfast which usually consisted of cereal or toast and mug of strong coffee. It was during these sluggish mornings when they’d started to bond over their mutual love of crime dramas and fantasy movies, among other things. That had naturally led to evening-long Criminal Minds marathons whole weekends debating whether the Lord of the Rings movies or the Harry Potter movies were the better adaptations of their original books. Those playful arguments had spilled over into text messages now, so Michael couldn’t even escape his torturous living situation when he went to work.

Despite all of that hardship, the most latest and arguably the toughest challenge Michael found himself facing, was Ashton’s morning yoga. At first, the older man had kept that part of his morning routine confined to his bedroom. For some reason or another, over the last week or so, Ashton had decided that the living area was a more suitable location for this activity.

If Michael thought that sleepy, shirtless morning Ashton was hot, then sleepy, shirtless morning Ashton doing the ‘downward dog’ was positively off the fucking scale. The way his large hands pressed into the yoga mat and the way his strong arms and legs tensed as he straightened his back and pushed his arse up into the air lingered in Michael’s mind all day. These images often flickered through his mind at night too, when he was alone in his bed with nothing but his hand for company.

Deciding that a little get together with some friends would help dispel some of the tension, Michael floats the idea of asking Calum and Luke over for a ‘lads night’. Ashton had agreed easily, being a generally social person, he’d seemed enthusiastic about the possibility of hosting a mini party.

A group message is created and it doesn’t take long to settle on the following Friday night for beer, snacks and a FIFA tournament.

Ashton seemed to have been looking forward to it, often mentioning how excited he was to get to know Calum better and asking Michael to help him decide between certain snacks to purchase for the occasion.

All in all, Michael was proud of himself for the idea, focusing on hosting a couple of friends had certainly given both him and Ashton something new to focus on.

It was only when Friday arrived that Michael started to doubt his plan. Watching Ashton arrange plates of snacks on the kitchen counter, with the cutest concentration face he’d ever seen, started to make Michael wish they were spending the evening alone instead. He quickly pushes the thought of his head, berating himself for thinking something so stupid. It’s not like anything could happen between them even if they were alone, they were roommates now, that’s where their relationship ends.

“So....” Ashton broke the silence enveloping the flat as he finished pouring a bag of cheesy Doritos into a bowl. “Did you finally solve the mystery of who was stealing people’s shit from your fridge at work?”

Michael was caught off guard by the question. He’d been watching Ashton so intently that he momentarily forgot about everything else. It took him a moment to remember that he’d been keeping Ashton up to date with the ongoing lunch burglar drama at the DIY store he worked at. “Oh, umm no, not yet! But Brenda finally told Linda to stick her fake friendship where the sun doesn’t shine.”

A genuinely delighted smile burst into Ashton’s face as he headed into the living room area. “Good for her! Linda sounds like a bitch…”

It really meant a lot to Michael that Ashton took such an interest in his work life. The fact that he cared so much about people he didn’t know, but was aware they meant a lot to Michael, was also heartwarming.

Before Michael could go into more detail about the break time drama, a knock at the front door interrupted him. “Oh yay! Our first guest!” Ashton beamed, jogging off towards the front door to greet Calum.

***

As soon as the beer and wine had started flowing, Michael’s ever-present pining for Ashton dulled to an almost non existent haze at the edges of his mind. Sure, his knees felt weak every time Ashton flashes him that dopey smile of his and he might have blushed whenever their knees touched as they competed against each other in a thrilling game of virtual soccer.

That was all better than his usual all-consuming lust, so Michael was somewhat proud of himself. He even managed to surprise the urge to let Ashton win their game, and was almost smug when his player sent the football flying past Ashton’s keeper to secure a 2-1 win.

“Motherfucker!” Ashton grumbled, throwing his control pad into the sofa as he fixed Michael with look that was almost definitely the hottest gaze he’d ever been caught under. “I’m gonna get you for that, Clifford.” It sounded like a promise that held more weight than the simple challenge to a rematch it was probably meant to be.

Michael had to fight back a whimper, staring into Ashton’s beautiful hazel eyes this closely was too much. The intensity of it all rendered him momentarily speechless and he was all-too glad when Ashton got to his feet and headed for the kitchen.

“I need to drown my sorrows.” The black-haired man laughed, breaking the tension that had descended on them before heading off to the kitchen. Ignoring the knowing looks from his two friends, Michael picked up Ashton’s discarded controller and tossed it to Luke. “Your turn to face me, Hemmings. Let’s see if I can beat my all time record of beating you 6-1”

“Fuck off! You have never beat me that badly.” Luke huffed, picking up the control pad that had just landed in his lap. “I’m gonna enjoy kicking your ass in front of your new boy-“

“Shit, we’re out of beers already!” Ashton’s interruption came at exactly the right moment in Michael’s opinion. He really hadn’t wanted Luke to finish that sentence and now he wouldn’t get the chance.

“I’ll go to the shop for some more, does anyone have specific requests?” The eldest friend asked as he traipsed back into the living room area.

“Oh you don’t have to go!” Michael shrugged, “you should stay here, we’ll send Luke instead, he sucks at this game anyway.”

Luke scoffed, waving his hand defensively. “You’re not getting out of playing me that easily!”

Ashton laughed, his eyes sparkling as he checked that his wallet was still in his jeans pocket. “It’s fine. I’m already out of the competition and I wouldn’t want to give anyone else an unfair advantage.”

Maybe it was just the effects of the beers he’d already drank, but Michael could have sworn that Ashton’s gaze lingered on him a little longer than it probably should have. “You’re too nice.” The blonde beamed fondly, “I’ll transfer you my half of the money in the morning, unless you wanna take a tenner from my room?”

“Oh is that an open invitation?” Calum asked, a lazy smile curling the corners of his lips. “You owe me at least that from when we bet on whether or not Luke could drink that tzatziki sauce last time.”

“Fuck off, Calum! I don’t owe you a penny, I won that bet, Luke’s a fucking wuss…”

“Hey! I am not!” Luke interrupted incredulously.

“Okay, I need to hear that whole story when I get back!” Ashton giggled. “I’ll just grab a case of whatever beer is the cheapest though, yeah.”

There was a general murder of agreement before Ashton headed out of the front door. Michael fond him watching until Ashton had disappeared into the hallway, swinging the front door closed behind him. “He’s so nice…” The blonde sighed dreamily, still gazing at the closed front door. “Don’t you think he’s just the best?”

Calum and Luke exchanged a ‘is he for real’ glance before silently agreeing that this was the perfect opportunity to tease Michael about his blatant love for Ashton.

“Yeah, he’s pretty special.” Calum agreed, smirking slyly. “You really can’t sing his praises highly enough, can you?”

Shaking his head, Michael finally returned his attention to the TV. “You really can’t, he’s just so kind and sweet.”

Calum nodded in agreement. “Not bad to look at either!”

“Right?!” Michael giggled, oblivious to the fact that his tipsiness was making his lips too loose.

“Hey Mike.” Luke cut in, reaching over to nudge his friend’s shoulder. “How’s being in love with your flatmate working out for you?” His conversational tone was entirely at odds with mischief in his eyes. It confused Michael but the youngest friend’s words were altogether too bold, a blatant overstep if ever there was one.

Despite his inner rage at being called out like this, Michael fumbled, unable to cobble together an appropriate response. “Ugh, I don’t even… You’re so far-“

“There’s no point denying it anymore.” Calum chuckled, “I can feel the sexual tension between you two from across the hall!”

“God, I bet it’s like watching a car crash, isn’t it?” Luke asked, picking up the bowl of M&M’s on the coffee table. “It’s horrific but you can’t tear your eyes away? Am I right?”

Calum nodded. “It’s like watching a bad fucking soap opera.”

Michael felt offended and embarrassed but still no words seemed to form coherently in his mouth.

“At least it’s a bit less tragic now we can be sure it’s not entirely one sided!” Luke stage whispered with a calculating look on his face as he met Calum’s gaze.

“Yeah, it’s mildly less irritating!” Calum laughed.

“Wait, what do you mean?” Michael sputtered. “Ash and I agreed that our one night stand is ancient history, we’re not-“

“Oh puh-lease!” Calum scoffed. “If you two haven’t fucked again by the end of this month I’ll eat my bucket hat.”

***

Ashton had returned with a case of twenty four bottles of beer and as a result, lad’s night had ended up running into the early hours of Saturday morning.

Having drank his way through more than his fair share of that case, Michael didn’t end up rising from his pit until noon had long since been and gone.

“Ah you are still alive!” Ashton chuckled, tearing his attention away from the TV to look at his flatmate.

This was definitely not fucking fair. Michael didn’t need to look in a mirror to know that he looked exactly as he felt - rough as all hell. Ashton on the other hand, still looked as dreamy as ever. His black curls, although slightly ruffled and fluffy, were still on the stylish side of messy and he’d somehow found the motivation to get dressed, too, something Michael wasn’t even contemplating.

“I’m glad you’re up now, though, I wondered if you had anything planned for dinner?” Ashton asked, peering at Michael from behind his horn-rimmed glasses.

The thought of food made Michael’s stomach lurch unpleasantly and he had to fight to hold back a wretch.

Ashton gives a sympathetic giggle before pausing his show and rising to his feet. “I’ll take that as a no. Don’t worry, buddy. I have a plan but first…” he jogged over to the kitchen and flicked on the kettle. “Why don't you go and take a shower while I make you a tea? You’ll feel better after that and then we will talk dinner!”

As Michael plods over to the bathroom, he shoots one last look over at Ashton, busily preparing mugs on the countertop and tries his absolute hardest to remember a time that he wasn’t in love with his flatmate.

***

As always, Ashton was proven to be 100% correct.

Michael felt a million times better once he was showered and snuggled on the sofa with a mug of steaming tea.

“You look a little more alive now.” Ashton smirked, sparing Michael a sideways glance before returning his attention to ‘Law and Order’. “Do you think you can handle talking about dinner yet?”

The ache in Michael’s stomach felt a lot more like hunger than it had done when he first woke up and the thought of food didn’t make him feel like throwing up anymore so he nodded. “What’re your plans, chef?”

Ashton’s cheeks turned a rosy pink as he shrugged. “I couldn’t bear to see you try to cobble together another freezer meal so I thought you might like me to teach you a simple pasta dish?” He suggested, his tone a little shy like he was worried what Michael’s reaction would be. “I’ll do most of the work, but I thought if you helped out, you’ll learn how to make something other than Super Noodles.”

Michael couldn’t even be mad at the subtle dig at his cooking skills. He was terrible in the kitchen and it was just a little embarrassing that Ashton had noticed just how dyer his cooking skills were. “When you say simple, do you mean like a recipe and technique you can write on the back of a postage stamp because that’s about the level of my skill.”

Rolling his eyes, Ashton casually threw his arm around Michael’s shoulders. “Don't be so hard in yourself, buddy! I once taught Luke how to make scrambled eggs on the stove so he didn’t have to be a savage and use the microwave anymore, so there’s definitely hole for you, I promise.”

Michael tried to focus on the hat Ashton was saying but all that his slow, hungover brain could process was that he was pressed against his stupidly gorgeous flat mate’s side. The heady smell of Ashton’s minty body wash and the soft scent of his fabric conditioner felt intoxicating and Michael could do nothing besides allow his head to drop into Ashton’s shoulder.

To the blonde’s surprise, Ashton shuffle away or call him out on it. He simply rests his own head on Michael’s and laughs. “We’ll make a chef of you yet, Clifford.” He promised.

***

They spent a good three hours, watching reruns of C.S.I and making plans to start a Marvel movie marathon after dinner. They sat close to each other the whole time and Michael noticed Ashton watching him from the corner of his eye on at least three separate occasions.

By the time Ashton suggested they start making dinner, Michael had gone over his conversation with Calum and Luke the previous night, about sixty times. His two best friends had convinced him that Ashton wanted Michael just as much as Michael wanted Ashton.

“The way he looks at you, dude.” Calum laughed. “He’s practically imagining you naked at any given moment. It’s getting uncomfortable.”

“Don’t be stupid!” Michael reprimanded. “He doesn’t think of me like that anymore. We had a one night thing months ago. That’s it. Nothing else will ever happen between us again, we’re just flatmates.”

Calum and Luke exchanged a sceptical glance before bursting into laughter.

“Yeah right!” Luke huffed sarcastically. “Do you know how many times I hear your name come out of his mouth at work these days?”

Michael’s cheeks reddened. He had no idea that Ashton talked about him at work. It felt kind of surreal to imagine his roommate relaying snippets of their home life to Luke.

“Let me guess!” Calum interrupted. “About a thousand…”

Nodding, Luke drained the last of his beer. “Yeah and that’s just before lunch!”

“Honestly, if they don’t bang soon I’m gonna knock their heads together.” Calum sighed. “Did you know Michael comes over to my place most mornings so he doesn’t have to watch Ashton do topless yoga?” He asked Luke disbelievingly. “I want my lie-in’s back!”

At the time, Michael hadn’t believed his friends. He didn’t think that there was even a remote possibility that Ashton still carried a torch for him. But in the clear light of day, Michael couldn’t deny that all the signs were there… perhaps there could be more between them after all.

He followed Ashton into the kitchen, rolling up the sleeves of his grey oversized sweater, trying to clear his mind enough to be able to process learning a new skill.

“Okay, this is like the simplest recipe I know but it’s delicious and tastes so much better than the freezer junk you usually make for yourself.” Ashton rambles as he grabs a saucepan and a frying pan from the shelf near the cooker.

“Hey, freezer junk has been my lifeline on many occasions, I’d probably be dead without it.” Michael scoffed, only half joking.

Ashton rolled his eyes fondly, handing Michael the saucepan. “Fill this with water for me and then put it on the back hob, while it’s boiling I’ll teach you how to make the sauce.”

As Michael carried out his instructions, he couldn’t help but admire the concentration on Ashton’s face when he began rifling through the fridge and cupboard, pulling out various ingredients.

Once the pan of water was safely on the job Ashton had indicated, Michael returned his full attention to the slightly older man.

“Right, the first thing we do for the sauce is put 2-3 tablespoons of olive oil into this cold pan.” Ashton explained, pushing his glasses up his nose a little, reminding Michael of a hot English teacher or something… fuck, it was already difficult enough for Michael to concentrate without random fantasies about Ashton fucking him over a desk running through his mind. “Usually I’d never add oil to a cold pan, but for this particular recipe, it works because if the pan was already hot, the first ingredients would burn before the rest was in there.”

There was something about the way Ashton talked with such passion and confidence that made Michael wish he was confident enough to just drag him to the bedroom, his need for more from Ashton becoming unbearable. He forced himself to nod, pretending like he understood when really, Ashton could be telling him absolutely anything right now, and Michael would not know the difference because all he can think about is the way Ashton had groaned at the feeling of Michael’s nails running down his back and how he’d growled Michael’s name as he neared his climax.

“Can you pass me the basil?” Ashton asked, pulling Michael out of his memory.

The blonde surveyed the ingredients on the countertop. Luckily he recognised most of them, so he picked up the basil by process of elimination and handed it to Ashton like a dutiful sous chef.

Ashton looked mildly impressed as he took the bag of basil and took out handful. “We want about ten or so decent sized leaves and we tear them in half before adding them to the oil, okay?” He waited for Michael’s nod of understanding before tearing the leaves in his hand and dropping them into the pan.

“Then we need to chop 6-8 cloves of garlic directly into the pan.” Michael looked back at the little stack of ingredients and frowned, noticing an instant problem. “We only have one clove of garlic…” he pointed out, biting his bottom lip worriedly.

Ashton burst out laughing as he picked the garlic up from the counter. “This is a whole bulb, babe…” he explained, apparently not even noticing his use of the supposedly accidental pet name.

It was difficult for Michael to feel too offended by Ashton’s laughter when he’d just called him babe, though, so he let it go, focusing on the term of endearment, no matter how accidental it might have been, rather than the humour at his dumb mistake.

“It’s the smaller, wedge shaped pieces that are cloves, please don’t mix that up if you make this without my help.” Ashton chuckled, breaking six cloves from the bulb and picking up a tiny knife he’d laid out next to the oven.

“Don’t laugh at me!” Michael pouted. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I have no idea what I’m doing. I almost never do.”

Ashton gave him a fond smile. “You’re not alone in that, I promise…”

It was hard not to feel comforted by Ashton’s lopsided smile, so most of his embarrassment slipped away fairly quickly.

“I just chop off the little hard parts at the bottom of each clove and peel the skin off before chopping it directly into the pan. Don’t chop it on a board or you’ll lose some of the flavour.” Ashton explained carefully.

Michael watched with interest as Ashton demonstrated his technique with the first two cloves. He handed the third to Michael along with the knife and gestures for him to add it to the pan.

It took him probably three times longer to chop that one clove into the pan, than it took Ashton to do the first two, but he was encouraging and patient. The older man praised Michael for completing the tiny task, seeming genuinely impressed.

Once all six cloves of garlic had been added to the pan, Ashton turned on the hob into a medium heat. “Okay, so we stir this together for about five minutes. Can you do that while I open the tin of tomatoes?”

Michael nodded, picking up the wooden spoon from the counter and storing the simmering ingredients together. It already kinda smelt like his favourite Italian restaurant and his tummy grumbled impatiently.

“One thing I should specify is, you need to use tins of whole tomatoes, not chopped.” Ashton explained as he poured the first tin of tomatoes into the sizzling pan. “Can you pour in the second one?”

Michael did as he was told and watched as Ashton squished the whole tomatoes down and stored them into the red eat of the ingredients.

“Mmm it smells so good.” Michael sighed, breathing in the delicious smells.

Ashton looked proud of himself as he offered a smile. “Can you take over the stirring while I add the salt?”

Michael took the spoon from Ashton, ensuring that their fingers brushed.

There was a moment of eye contact and a silent shifting of tension between the two of them. If ever there was a time to bite the bullet and kiss Ashton, now would be it. His nerves failed him though and he dropped his gaze to the simmering pan.

Instead of moving around Michael to pick up the salt as he’d done for the tomatoes, Ashton simply reached past the blonde, pushing him against the counter momentarily before he pulled back to add the salt to the pan.

If Michael had been fully alert, he’d have recognised that for the flirtatious move it was meant to be, as it was, he put it down to a simple lack of judgement on Ashton’s part and continued to concentrate on stirring the sauce.

***

The tomato pasta tasted as good as it had smelt. It turned out to be exactly what Michael’s hungover body had needed.

He and Ashton had eaten it at their little table in the kitchen. Conversation had flowed freely as always, skirting around flirtatious at times but never quite enough for Michael to pluck up the courage to take things further.

“The only thing that would have made that better would have been a nice glass of white wine, but I thought you were still a bit too delicate for that.” Ashton giggled as he picked up the empty plates from the table and carried them over to the kitchen sink.

“Hey, you drank as much as I did!” Michael pouted, picking up the empty glasses and following Ashton to the sink. “How’re you not hungover.”

Ashton chuckled as he ran the water into the washing up bowl. “You’re just a lightweight, Mikey.”

It wasn’t the first time Michael had been called that so it didn’t take him by surprise. He laughed it off as he grabbed a tea cloth ready to dry the dishes that Ashton washed. “One day you’ll stop teasing me, Irwin.”

Ashton shook his head. “Don’t count on it, babe… you’re too easy to make fun of, that’s not my fault.”

There it was again, that little slip, a fond nickname that roommates probably shouldn’t have for one another.

Quickly pulling himself together, Michael nudged his flatmate in the arm, just hard enough to pull a surprised “oof” from him.

“Careful now.” Ashton warned jokingly. “You don’t want to start a scuffle you can’t finish, Clifford.”

Michael threw caution to the wind and nudged Ashton again, deliberately keeping his gaze on the plate he was drying.

“That’s it!” Ashton huffed, scooping up a handful of bubbles and swiping them across Michael’s face.

The blonde spluttered and shook his damp fringe out of his face before fixing Ashton with a glare. A few acts of retaliation flashed through his mind. He could have whipped Ashton with the tea cloth or splashed him with dishwater but none of that happened.

There was something about the way Ashton’s eyes were sparkling, almost like he was daring Michael to do the thing he’d been too scared to do this whole time. He refused to let another opportunity pass like before when they were making the pasta sauce. Michael tried not to overthink as he stepped forward and cupped Ashton’s face with one hand before leaning in and kissing him.

The raven-haired man’s lips felt every bit as soft as they had done on that night seven months ago. Ashton didn’t kiss back with the same hunger and desperation that he had done back then, though.

Michael stepped back, feeling his cheeks heat up in an embarrassed blush. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that, Ash…”

Ashton bit his bottom lip between his teeth as he stared at Michael intently. “No…” He said, finally breaking his silence. “You just shouldn’t have waited so long.”

The older man’s words had barely penetrated Michael’s brain before he was being pressed against the counter behind him. Ashton’s lips were on his again but this time they were working just like they had been that night at Ashton’s old place.

The intense kiss pulled a whine from Michael and he automatically wrapped his arms around the older man’s neck.

It started as a fairly simple kiss but it quickly began to build momentum. It was the crack in the dam holding back all of their emotions for all this time.

“Ashton…” Michael gasped as they pulled apart for air. “I know we said we should just be friends but…”

“Fuck being just friends.” Ashton mumbled as he worked kisses down Michael's neck. “I can’t pretend anymore.”

Those words were all Michael needed to hear in order to relax into this. “I can’t tell you how bad I’ve wanted this.” He whispered.

Ashton slipped one of his thighs between Michael’s as he nipped at the blonde’s neck. “I think I have some idea.” He groaned. “I never stopped thinking of the way you moaned my name that night, Michael.” The older man confessed, pulling back just enough to look Michael in the eye. “Wanted it again since the moment I walked in here.”

The way Ashton was looking at him like he wanted to devour every inch of Michael, had the blonde melting. “Me too.” He crashed his lips against Ashton’s in another desperate kiss as he subconsciously rutted against the older man’s thigh. After the months Michael had spent feeling kind of lonely and touch-starved, the tiny amount of friction was enough to have him whimpering against Ashton’s lips.

“Uh, you sound and taste even better than I remember.” Ashton muttered, pressing his thigh harder against Michael’s crotch to pull another little gasp from him.

“Ashton! Fuck, please, I…” Michael’s head tipped back as he lost his fight to regain any sort of control over his own body. He was in Ashton’s control now, and Ashton knew it.

“Come on…” Ashton coaxed, stepping back from Michael as he took both of his hands in his to pull him away from the kitchen counter. Michael whined high in his throat as he easily followed where Ashton led.

Michael had hardly been into Ashton’s bedroom since he had helped him move some furniture the day he moved in; it had almost felt too intimate to go into Ashton’s personal space given the history between them. Seeing it now, cozy and dark with slithers of light coming through the window from the lamp posts outside, gave Michael a chill; it felt like Ashton was sharing a secret with him.

He followed Ashton’s lead dutifully all the way to the bed, accepting the deep kiss Ashton offered him as a reward, before the older man peeled his oversized sweater from his torso, breaking away to pull it over Michael’s head. Michael wanted more contact, but was disappointed when Ashton gently but decisively laid him down among the crisp sheets, instead.

Ashton pulled his own t-shirt over his head in one fluid motion and flicked the lamp on his bedside table on, bathing the bed in a warm glow that made Michael feel like he was in a dream.

Michael gazed in wonder at Ashton as he climbed into bed beside him, letting his eyes travel all over his arms and chest, taking in the extra tone and definition in his body since the last time he’d been able to stare at him like this; clearly, the yoga was doing more than just allowing Ashton to ‘find his centre’.

He didn’t think he was anything special to look at, but he could see Ashton mirroring his own actions, eyes full of lust searching all over the parts of Michael’s body he could see, and even his gaze lingering on a part he couldn’t.

“Ash,” Michael breathed out, surprising himself with how far gone he sounded already. “Take ‘em off, I wanna…” He trailed off as Ashton’s eyes snapped up to meet his own, holding eye contact for only a moment before he nodded almost imperceptibly, shuffling down the bed and taking hold of the waistband of Michael’s sweatpants. He returned his gaze to the pale man before him, biting his own lip as he allowed his fingertips to graze the skin of Michael’s hips. “These too?” Ashton questioned in a low voice as he brushed the fabric of Michael’s underwear.

“Oh God, yeah”, Michael answered, squirming slightly from the infuriatingly gentle feel of Ashton’s touch. Ashton didn’t need to be told twice. Michael shivered with the feeling of being suddenly completely exposed as his sweatpants and underwear hit the carpet. Michael looked up at Ashton through his lashes, braced up on his knees in his black, ripped jeans. “You’d better be planning on losing those in the next second, Irwin.”

Ashton smirked as he undid his jeans. “And I mean your underwear, too!” Michael amended hastily, hungry to see if his memory of Ashton’s body was accurate.

The dark-haired man’s smirk grew wider at Michael’s clarification, pulling his zip down and allowing his jeans to fall open, exposing only bare skin beneath. “Underwear?”

Michael’s jaw dropped a little, prompting a deliciously filthy laugh from his roommate. “For the record, roomie - I don’t wear underwear.” Ashton winked as he yanked his jeans down as far as he could in his current position, before wriggling around to pull them off completely. Michael was pleased to see that, if anything, his memory had been selling Ashton short. Blame it on the alcohol.

Michael didn’t know how to decide on what to do first; on one hand, he wanted to kiss Ashton non-stop for the rest of eternity, but on the other hand, if he didn’t get filled up in the next 10 minutes, he was definitely going to throw a tantrum. Luckily, he realised, it probably wasn’t up to him. All of his experience with Ashton so far told him that the older man would definitely be taking the lead, and this was definitely not a problem for Michael. Indeed, it had worked out very well for him last time, when his staff night out started at the bar and ended with Ashton eating him out like his life depended on it.

“What are you thinking?” Ashton’s sultry voice broke through his thoughts, apparently wanting a coherent answer despite the fact that he had just begun to run his fingers up and down Michael’s sensitive, pale inner thighs. Michael let out a shuddery breath as he tried to use his words to tell Ashton he wanted anything and everything possible between them, right there and then. Perhaps the way his cock twitched when Ashton let one his nails run over a faded stretch mark right at the base of one of his thighs would speak for itself.

“Maybe we should get right to, huh, gorgeous?” Ashton teased, withdrawing his touches to lean towards his bedside table. He pulled open the top drawer, fumbling only for a moment until he found what he was looking for. The lube and condom were dropped carelessly onto the mattress as he shut the drawer again, returning his attention to the man almost-beneath him immediately. “We’ve got plenty of time for all the other goods stuff; right now, I need to fuck you, and I know you need me to fuck you...don’t you?”

Michael wondered at what point in his life he had begun to communicate exclusively in whines, but Ashton seemed to be into it, so it didn’t matter. Michael watched impatiently as Ashton popped the top on the half-empty bottle of lube, wasting no time in squirting a generous amount onto two fingers on his right hand and pulling Michael’s leg fully around his hip with his left.

Michael’s heart jumped as much as his cock when Ashton breathed gently on the lube coating his fingers in an attempt to warm it slightly before he brought them straight down to Michael’s bare hole, rubbing over it in a firm circle.

Michael was glad he didn’t have the problem of not wanting his roommate to hear him getting fucked, anymore, as he let out his loudest, neediest whine yet. Ashton proved he had meant what he said about not taking their time with their second tryst, sinking his index finger inside Michael in one fluid motion. Before Michael had got to 10, Ashton was opening him up at a steady, delicious pace and was driving Michael crazy in record time.

Michael wouldn’t claim to be a pornstar or anything, but he didn’t normally have a problem with stamina. If Ashton kept it up like this, though, Michael was in danger of coming before Ashton’s thick cock got any closer to him, and that was unacceptable.

“Ash, please, I can’t...I want, ne-your cock, please!” Michael cried out as Ashton probed his spot one last time before immediately acquiescing to Michael’s begging. Michael wriggled at the loss of Ashton’s fingers, but took comfort in the fact that Ashton was already tearing the condom packet open.

Michael watched in awe-tinged anticipation as Ashton gave himself a couple of loose tugs once he had the condom on, before closing in on his lover once more, making sure Michael was laid comfortably on the pillows as he positioned himself over him. Michael clung to Ashton’s shoulders as he lined himself up, just resting the tip on Michael’s slick hole for a moment.

Ashton’s hazel eyes bore down into Michael’s green ones with a soft fire as he raised one hand to brush Michael’s fringe out of his flushed face. Michael let out a breath he hadn’t realised he was holding as Ashton pushed in - slowly, but all the way.. He felt like he was sinking and floating simultaneously, and wrapped his arms around Ashton’s neck to anchor himself here, with him, in this moment.

Ashton pressed his face deep into Michael’s neck, kissing and sucking his way up towards Michael’s ear. “You good?” He murmured, shifting his hips a miniscule amount. “Yeah,” Michael breathed, “S’good, please…”.

With a final nip to Michael’s neck, Ashton pulled back slightly and began to move his hips properly, his cock sliding halfway out each time as he began to build a steady rhythm for them. Michael felt that perhaps in their sexual relationship so far, he was earning himself the reputation of a bit of a Pillow Princess, and so he began to move his own hips to meet Ashton’s building thrusts. Ashton groaned, long and loud, at the heightened sensations Michael’s movements brought, and they began to work together towards their goal.

Suddenly, Ashton’s mouth was crowding his, his tongue sliding into his mouth in a glorious kiss that Michael never wanted to end. He couldn’t tell if it had been 10 minutes or 10 hours when he felt that familiar feeling begin to bubble in the lower stomach. Ashton had begun to up the pace of his thrusts, his hips occasionally stuttering as groans rumbled low in his throat, so Michael knew they were on the same page.

“Ash,” He murmured in the millisecond between kisses. “Touch me, please, I’m getting so-” Michael broke off into a moan as Ashton was already wrapping a firm hand around his neglected cock, stroking it with determination and flicking his thumb over Michael’s dripping head. “You close, baby?” He murmured, eyes drifting over Michael’s face and the arousal present there. Michael was starting to writhe slightly and his head was flopping to the side on the pillow, but Ashton wanted his attention. With his free hand, he took Michael’s chin and turned his head to meet Ashton’s stare. The moment Michael was forced to meet his strong, heated gaze, his hazel eyes boring down on him with such intensity, Michael felt the kick of heat and it was all over. He cried out Ashton’s name and let out a series of curses and moans as he came, hard and hot over Ashton’s hand and their sweaty stomachs in equal measure.

Michael hadn’t finished himself before he felt Ashton taken by surprise, as well; his hips shooting forward to fill him to the hilt for the last time as he spilt into the condom, releasing Michael’s chin to brace himself through his orgasm on the pillows. “Michael, fuck!”

Michael regained enough control to watch Ashton’s face through hooded eyes as he came, moaning and unrestrained as he finished. He thought he looked heavenly.

As they both fought to catch their breath, Ashton pulled out gingerly, releasing Michael from his grip as he moved away to remove and dispose of the condom. Michael wriggled in place, trying to get comfortable to recover from what he hoped would be the first of many. Ashton came back from the bin in the corner and flopped back down, alongside Michael now, lifting his arm to allow Michael to snuggle in under it when he wrapped it around him. “So…” He said, sounding casual as you like. “About the whole platonic, friendly, roommate thing…”

masterlist for the 5sos ficwriters collab • my masterlist

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snakeboistan · 4 years

Text

When He Sees Me

Pairing: Karmagisa + mentioned Maeiso

So this is basically a sequel of this where Karma meets florist!Nagisa

I was listening to ‘When He Sees Me’ from Waitress when I was writing this so yeah...

Maehara and Fuwa stood behind the counter, completely ignoring their work as they watched Nagisa pace about the shop, their heads moving backwards and forwards in unison as the blunette walked to and fro from one side of the large room to the other, wringing his hands and mumbling under his breath.

“You alright there, Nagisa?” Maehara asked, amber eyes still trained on his frantic-looking coworker slash friend, “you know it’s not that big of a deal, right?”

Nagisa paused, swivelling in place so that he could give the blond an incredulous look. He repeated, hands flying everywhere, “Not a big deal?! This is the biggest deal ever! Karma is coming in ten minutes to take me on a date - a date - and you’re saying that it’s not that big of a deal?!”

“Calm down, Nagisa,” Fuwa said, as if she didn’t transform into a squealing volcano when she found out that the redhead customer that Nagisa had hit it off with that fateful day had asked the petite pigtailed boy on a date to a local sushi chain and then proceeded to glomp said unsuspecting petite pigtailed boy into a hug as she rattled on about how she was ‘so proud of him’ and that ‘all I’m asking for is to be your maid of honour’, “it’s not like he hasn’t asked you out before. I mean the two of you went to see that Sonic Ninja movie the other day.”

“That’s completely different,” Nagisa exclaimed, “we went to a movie theatre - where you sit in the dark for the majority of the time - to watch a movie that we were too immersed in to actually have a conversation. And then we only spoke for about five minutes before I had to leave because mum called. Now we’ll be in a public area where all of his attention will be trained on me.”

“Is that a bad thing?” Maehara inquired, ignoring the quiet hiss of ‘vile madwoman’ that seemed to escape Fuwa’s mouth at the mention of Nagisa’s mother, “I mean speaking to each other and getting to know each other is one of the best parts of dating.”

“You’d know all about dating,” Fuwa smirked, “wouldn’t you, Womaniser?”

“Former Womaniser,” Maehara shot back in offense, “I’ll have you know that since dating Isogai, I have become a changed man.”

“I sure hope so,” Fuwa retorted, pointing a threatening finger at the blond’s face, “I swear to god Maehara, if you hurt that lovely Prince Charming of a barista I will hunt you down and end you in ways so bad that not even Ranpo Edogawa would be able to find your body or discover what happened to you.”

“Fuwa, if I ever do end up hurting Isogai, you have my permission to end me in any way you wish.”

“Guys!” Nagisa yelled, “can we get back to my crisis, please? I mean I’ve never been on a date before so I wouldn’t even know what to expect.”

“But isn’t that exciting?” Fuwa encouraged, her dark and threatening expression had completely been replaced by her usual starry-eyed adoration of anything that remotely resembled one of her beloved shojou mangas, “finding out everything you possibly could about the other, staring into each other’s eyes as you uncover the depths of their soul as you feel yourself falling more and more in love with each other.”

They both looked at her as she began swooning with daze.

Maehara raised an eyebrow, “where do you come up with this stuff?”

Fuwa shrugged, “it’s not my fault that you two happen to have meet-cutes that are literal shojou material. I mean come on: we’re all florists and Maehara’s boyfriend works in a coffee shop. At this point, I just hope that I don’t get dismissed as a mere side character.”

“That makes even less sense.”

“It’s just - just so scary,” Nagisa confessed, head hanging low as he began twiddling with his fingers, “I don’t really know that much about him apart from that he likes the same franchise as me. And that he’s super smart. It’s just so new that I have no idea what to do. I-I like to stick with the things I know, you know, try to minimise the areas where I can make mistakes. When things turn into some big guessing game and you lose control of the situation, things can turn ugly, trust me on that.”

“But it isn’t a complete guessing game,” Fuwa said, “you know that you like him and that he likes you.”

“What if he doesn’t?” Nagisa argued, “what if he only likes whatever version of me that he thought he saw that day we first met? What if tonight, during our date, he realises that he made a terrible mistake and that I’m really not whatever he thought I was that interested him? What if he’s disappointed when he knows what I’m really like?”

“Hey, hey, Nagisa,” Fuwa consoled. In the midst of the male’s anxiety-driven panic, she had walked towards him and now had the palms of her hands laying flat on his shoulders, their firm grips grounding him in an attempt to prevent him from proceeding further with his emotional tangent, “calm down. You’re getting worked up over nothing. Remember he asked you out

“But what if there’s something wrong with him?” Nagisa gasped as a new idea dawned on him, “I mean come on, have you met me? I’m not much of a catch and I’m certainly not that interesting. What if - what if he’s some sadistic psychopath that is only asking me out to lure me away into an abandoned alley and then kill me so that he can sell my organs in the black market or something? He could’ve planned this moment from the first day we saw each other. Oh my god, I knew I was being too reckless.”

“Holy hell, man,” Maehara rolled his eyes, “I can’t believe I’m saying this because you’re like the most chill person I know but you’re acting worse than Fuwa. You really need to reel back on those crime dramas - not everyone’s some crazy unsub from Criminal Minds. He’s a high schooler just like us. I really don’t think he’s planning on killing you.”

“You never know,” Nagisa shot back, “I mean with the TV shows and current media we’ve got nowadays anything’s possible. He could be some sort of heartless sadist. He - he.”

Nagisa cut himself off when his eyes caught onto the bunches of sunflowers that stood proudly next to the pink cala lilies by the window. Walking up to them, he carefully picked one up and gently traced the circumference of the disk florets, his mouth curling upwards at the memory of Karma entering the store the next day.

“I got your bouquet,” he had said, blushing furiously at the wide grin on the other’s face.

“Really?” Karma asked, “I didn’t get a text so I thought it might have been misplaced.”

“I don’t really text people I don’t know that well.”

“Hmm, I see. Well, what if I told you three things about myself? Would that be enough for us to have a textual relationship?”

Nagisa’s blush deepened, both at the redhead’s words and at the way his heart seemed to beat faster. The redhead placed his elbows on the counter and leaned forward, “what kind of three things?”

“Well, one, I want to study Economics in University so that I can become a bureaucrat. Two, I wasn’t kidding about the offer to the movies. Or with maths. Or about those flowers because Asano’s face was the funniest thing I saw all week. And three, I think that you really know your flowers.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“It’s just what I meant when I sent you that bouquet with the forget-me-nots,” Karma smiled, “there’s just something about you that’s pretty unforgettable.”

“He could be the most amazing person I’ve ever met,” Nagisa whispered, “which is weird because I’ve never felt like this about someone. Especially not someone I barely know.”

“But Nagisa,” Fuwa said, “you’re like really good at reading and analysing people so shouldn’t you trust your instincts. They’ve never been wrong before, right?”

“I don’t know. He’s just so amazing and smart and brilliant and he makes me feel things I can’t even explain even though we’ve only known each other for like a week and he’s like a straight A student and I’m just barely passing my tests. I’m not used to not understanding my feelings and I’m just so scared that I’ll drive him away. He’s funny and knows how to make me laugh and I feel like - I don’t know - like I don’t need to be scared. I barely know him but I want to know more and there may be a chance that he does too but what if when he knows more he doesn’t want to know more anymore. When you’re on a date you’re supposed to be open, but what if the only way I can be open is if I get broken and then he realises that I’m a complete mess and by that time it’s too late to put me back together,” he tucked the bright yellow flower back into the basket with the rest of its species, “I always look at things rationally, I try to get as much information as possible but right now everything seems irrational and I don’t know what to do.”

Fuwa walked up to him and pivoted him around so that she could stare right into his eyes, “you be yourself. Your usual kind, loving amazing self that me and Maehara and Sugino and everyone else knows and loves. You go there and you have fun and if Karma suddenly develops insanity and realises that he doesn’t like you - which will not happen by the way - then I will kick his redheaded butt, you hear me. I’ll even steal one of Sugino’s baseball bats so that I can beat him to death, if you want.”

“I’ll help,” Maehara piped up, “so will Isogai and Yada and Kurahashi and everyone else at The Busy Bean.”

“Wait,” Nagisa turned to him, “the coffee shop knows about this?!”

“Yep,” Maehara nodded with no hint of shame, “they were interested in their favourite customer’s love life and I was only too happy to provide. They ship you guys by the way but will kill Karma if he decides to hurt you.”

“You know what,” Nagisa shook his head, “I’m not even going to question it.”

“Just have fun,” Fuwa reiterated, brushing his shoulders, “you’ll be fine.”

“Looks like you calmed down on time,” Maehara quipped, “because I see a little silhouetto of a man.”

Nagisa and Fuwa turned their heads towards the giant transparent double doors to see Karma sauntering up to the store whilst texting on his phone. Readying himself, Nagisa took a few deep breaths before straightening himself and walking towards the front of the counter. With a look behind him so that he could see his coworkers’ thumbs up, he stared straight at the door as he waited for it to open. The bell rang as Karma walked in.

“Hey, Nagisa.”

“Uhh, hi, Karma.”

“So, you ready for dinner?”

“I sure am.”

And so the two of them left the store, side by side.

Fuwa turned to the boy beside her, wiping away a fake tear, “Ahh, they grow up so fast.”

“They sure do.”

“We should go follow them.”

“Fuwa, no.”

“Fuwa, yes.”

#assassination classroom #karmagisa #shiota nagisa #nagisa shiota #maehara hiroto #hiroto maehara #fuwa yuzuki #yuzuki fuwa #akabane karma #karma akabane #my writing

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shy-magpie · 3 years

Text

RQG 158

liveblog under the cut

pre episode nonsense:

Roman Rogues was a delightful palate cleanser, but I am ready for the main campaign again. Hopes for this ep:

Bring on the Kobolds! (and Hamid figuring out how to behave ethically in a relationship with unsought but unavoidable power imbalance)

Azu please talk to someone about what you are feeling, not just take on everyone else's pain

is it too early for more on Dwarves since we're headed to Svalbard?

Cel's village pls, and everything we can get about how they fit in and how they feel about leaving. Yes we got a lot with "the Fete of Cel's village" but I want more. Also if it turns out Jasper actually ends up with a Kobold assistant like I've been joking about since the little guy we left in the onion room, I will laugh for a week.

Zolf: Zolf & mental health; Zolf & Wilde; Zolf & the guys who acted as his party during the 18 months; Zolf learning to see S4 Hamid instead of S1 Hamid with new spells; Zolf & Kobolds; and did I say Zolf?

_______________________________

Now on with the show:

Ah poor Alex sounds so down about the audio quality, its the first time doing something unusual without a lot of warning. I hope he knows we're happy to trade the risk of sound issues for knowing they didn't risk people and went remote before mandatory. I do love the intros. Oh nervous Alex, really we're not going to bite. Alex fishing for praise for not destroying Cel's village is a nice transition back to more normal energy, namely fear of GM!Alex. As a person he seems lovely, and with things like keeping the company going under lock-down safely I am happy trusting him with the cast's lives, as a GM? He has killed before, will kill again, and the worst part is it will be well crafted. Azu is putting everyone else before herself again. I know helping others is part of how she copes (seeking agency is valid) but I am serious about wanting her to lean on someone from time to time. Oh bless RQ they really do hold their quality up to the highest standards, is this the audio Alex was apologizing for? Oh Hamid, he really is trying to do the right thing by these poor traumatized Kobolds. "you do no damage". Eee! Tailor!Hamid!!! Tailor!Hamid! Tailor! Hamid!!! Over the armor hooded parka for Azu, using all his materials. Such a sweet kid. Zolf is "being outside & alone", he is so valid. Cel time! Cel won a cuddly toy red panda, Alex makes them roll for it. Cel has a night at home. Wilde calls meeting for party, sans Cel who is not summoned from their village. Hopefully that means this isn't terrible & actionable news, and not that Wilde doesn't see Cel as a party member. Earhart? Please Alex we've been ever so good! Einstein is off grid, might be intentional Earhart's ship was damaged, she was injured. They need to go to her. Wilde asks if Cel will be continuing with the party, everyone volunteering at once to get them is reassuring of their place in the party. I suppose I should also give credit to Wilde for not making assumptions about how Cel would make a major life decision. Aw goodbye Inn! Oh Barnes and Carter could go either way. Sounds fancy. Zolf still has that instinctual knack for leadership, decreeing he will do the necessary but less fun bit of packing, while Hamid does the people bit of fetching Cel. I missed whether Azu was going with Hamid, but we'll find out in a minute. Helen calls out Alex. Oh Hamid, Azu, and all seven Kobolds are going. Are they staying or not? Bless the kid, Hamid is telling Skraak the itinerary as information rather than leverage to make the decision he wants. Whether the other Kobolds come with or stay in the village, informed consent is important. Also by telling Skraak first they can figure out how to tell the others along with info on the plan rather than leave them scrambling to figure out what Hamid wants to hear. I love this village. Cel set up a sound system for the village band to do their spring cleaning montage to. Azu & Hamid are charmed. Oh Jasper made the sound system! Hamid praises Jasper for that and taking care of the village. God I love that Alex isn't doing that thing where the stutter goes away as Jasper's character arc progresses. Yes stress can make stuttering worse, but it isn't a flaw that means you won't progress until you fix it.* Hamid introduces the Kobolds as his friends. Is Alex going to let the names pass from WOG to canon? Nope fair enough, as soon as we get names he'll have to use them and we'll soon need character traits and its a whole "if you give a mouse a cookie" thing. Jasper resorts to giving them tea as a universal. Cel enlists the Kobolds in improving the sound system. "Burrow through the center of the Earth?" I love Cel's suggestions. Oh please can Cel help repair Earhart's ship please? Speaking of ships, a half dozen authors just opened a new doc. Hamid is so careful not to pressure Cel while still being welcoming. Roar, Alex!?! What enormous roar!?! Oh he would break there. He is getting entirely too much mileage from being out of throwing range of the cast.

~break~

Thwarted Hamid Cel hug? Oh its the Kobolds! Bless em maybe they'll relax when Hamid doesn't turn on them for messing up. Name! Names! Thank you Alex! Yes I was just resigning myself to it being reasonable for us not to get them as individual characters, thank you! Thank you! Meerk likes loud noises, canon! Cel invites the Kobolds to stay, Skraak suggests they bring in Kobolds from the island instead of Hamid's 7. Hamid sounds a bit frantic as replies, like he thinks he offended Skraak & the others. It was a good suggestion for more reasons than just shaking the new kids, no one thinks you were just dumping them. A runner is sent to the island. Skraak wants to them to stick with Hamid. Perception check on the morning of departure. They roll ridiculously well. Oh Wilde is still wearing his antimagic cuffs on his ankles. Bell bottoms to disguise them. Oh Wilde, what happened to our peacock? They walk to the fishing vessel where Barnes and Carter are waiting. Oh Azu helps the little ones wade. Hamid flies. Zolf punts. Cel turns into a dolphin. The Kobolds are either ferried by Hamid air or swim. So Azu doesn't get to help after all. Zolf is not a happy sailor "Like going back to the place your ex works". Helen says Aphrodite would fight Poseidon for Zolf. Yes Alex you trained them well. Aw Azu and Cel play while Cel is a dolphin. I love Alex's world building Yes Lydia! The Soggy X is a favored call back. Mood Cel I have to work to remember how long ago I've been somewhere. Aw Alex gives them a wonderful meal. Hamid loves Sushi! Hamid overpays, good lad. Horse riding time Japan is historically a gnome heavy area and caters towards smaller races. Alex's world building is great. Oh Alex is learning to give them proper down time. Hamid gives Azu the parka he made. He is so sweet. Zolf tells him that he already has cold gear. Poor kid takes it as a rejection. I honestly think Zolf was trying to get him to relax about not having made him one too. Its well made for a coat that goes over armor. He will make one for Cel. Azu picks Hamid up to hug him. Cel praises it. Oh Carter asks for one, Hamid perks up a bit. Hamid put pockets in Azu's. Zolf turns Hamid down again. Azu offers to share and Zolf remains a great conversationalist. Oh the Kobolds need coats. That should keep Hamid busy until they get to Svalbard. No one trusts the low stakes episode. *yes I still resent all the time I spent out of class with speech therapy, and I resent more people who knew it was hard for me to speak properly, knew what I meant well enough to correct me, and still interrupted me mid sentence as if an extra/wrong syllable was more important than the rest of the sentence combined.

#Rusty Quill Gaming #RQG Spoilers #RQG 158 #live blog thingy

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isuthetimelady · 3 years

Text

Rules: answer the questions and tag nine people you want to get to know better/catch up with

Tagged by @hahahaha-nooooo, thanks!

Three ships:

Thoschei - look. Never said it's healthy one. But it's one i enjoy anyway. No better ship then one where they want to scratch out each others eyes and then make out furiously. I guess.

Luz/Amity (Lumity? Is that what its called?) - i saw new intro and poster for TOH's second season and i'm HYPING

Diakko from Little Witch Academia - they're gay and they're cute. Don't need more reason :v

Three friendships:

7C from Zak Storm - what a great bunch of lads. Crogar and Cece's friendship is my favorite in particular, but as a group, they're so great! Bunch of people (and mermaid people. And sword. And ship, and ghost, and alien. But you get the point) far away from their homes, helping each other as they try to go back. Love it.

All of the gang from Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts (found family trope again, do i have a special liking for those? Maybe???)

10th Doctor &Donna Noble - they're a pair of dumbos that always make me smile (Partners in Crime??? Window scene??? It's an absolute masterpiece)

Three QPRs:

I don't know that acronym??? Sorry :D

Last song:

Gettin' Bi by Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast and Pete Gardner. Just discovered it, but what a fun song!

Last movie:

Red Shoes and the Seven Dwarfs. Lovely animation i wanted to watch for a long time now. I definetly recommend it!

Currently watching/listening:

Watching Kimetsu no Yaiba with my sister. Not a bad anime, i like the fighting scenes, and main character's sister is a (deadly) cutie.

Currently reading:

W.I.T.C.H comics - what a nostalgia! Used to collect them when i was a kid. Recently read one that i could remember literally each frame of. Weeeeird experience :D

Currently craving:

Good sushi& someone to share it with ;_;

Tagging: uhhhh i don't have nine people to tag i think ;_; . So i tag anyone who sees it (and wants to do it obviously)

#thank you for tagging <3 #i tried to make diversity #most of it are animations but whooo cares i like animations

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itsthemoofacewriting · 4 years

Text

Delayed

I adore the original trio and this ship in particular brings it out in me. Enjoy wingman Luffy, no matter how reluctant Zoro is.

Summary: Zoro's eye lingered for a moment too long on the woman in front of him and that was all it took for his best fried to get the wrong idea. Or, Zoro's flight is delayed and Luffy's a little shit. ZoNami. Airport AU. Rating: T Words: 8k

Can also be found on AO3 and FFN

Enjoy.

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This was not happening.

Zoro watched as the flights on the board, one by one, started to display ‘DELAYED’, in angry red lettering. Casting a look outside, he could see a light flurry of snow starting. They’re delaying because of this?

The tannoy pinged and a lady’s voice played across the airport, confirming the delayed flights due to worsening weather conditions and that passengers delayed should visit their airline’s help desk for further information or compensation. He groaned as passengers started to herd past him. It was getting late and he had been so close to getting on his flight. This was the last thing he needed.

Luffy appeared out of thin air, after previously taking off to go to the toilet and plopped down on the seat next to Zoro. “The lady said we’re stuck.”

“Yeah, I know. We need to go to the desk and see what they say.” In the distance, Zoro could see a long queue already forming and groaned to himself.

“I’ll race you there!” Luffy announced, not waiting for Zoro to say reply and charging off, without his suitcase, through the throng of people.

Despite the horrible situation and apparently now being a pack mule for Luffy’s luggage, it didn’t stop him from hastily picking up their bags and taking off after his friend.

Whatever fun he was having stopped when he got to the end of the queue, at least ten people in front of them. He grunted at Luffy about leaving his luggage behind, but the other boy didn’t seem phased as he beamed and thanked Zoro.

They spent the next fifteen minutes waiting. Luffy was almost bouncing off the walls but he’d settled down when he’d started a game with Zoro. It wasn’t the kindest game, but they spent their time pointing out odd people to the other. The winner at the moment was a big guy with a ridiculously high voice. Despite Zoro also finding it funny, he had to elbow Luffy a couple of times when he got too loud and the guy kept throwing them suspicious looks. His voice was hilarious but the last thing they needed was a fight. Although if Zoro was going to be stuck up here, even he’d need a way to pass the time.

He could feel Luffy starting to fidget again, so he tried to find someone else to point out when his eyes settled on the woman in front of them. She was on the phone to someone and he could hear her explaining the situation, she sounded as annoyed as he felt. He gave her a once over, only getting the chance to take in her long orange hair and profile when she’d turned to look out the window, before stopping when he felt another set of eyes on him.

Luffy was giving him a shit-eating grin and the twinkle in his eye was definitely not a good thing. It could only spell disaster. He willed the flush on his neck to calm down at being caught staring. The woman had just caught his eye. It wasn’t a big deal. So what. Men did that. It happened. It didn’t mean anything. At least he was subtle.

The woman’s voice interrupted before Luffy could be a little shit. “But where am I supposed to sleep?”

“We offer compensation in the case hotels run out of rooms. You could use to money to travel further out to a hotel or to make other arrangements.”

Not what Zoro wanted to hear, but he’d happily pocket the money and sleep in a corner of the airport somewhere. But to his disbelieve, the orange haired woman in front actually tried to haggle for more money. When it got her nowhere, the woman behind the counter standing firm, she gave up and huffed as she walked away. He rolled his eyes at her bratty behaviour before stepping up to the desk.

Delayed: hour one.

Zoro didn’t see her after that… not that he was looking for her. After being told a new time, for the next day, him and Luffy had set out through the airport to find a quiet corner to sleep in. They found it tucked behind a wall, with a set of benches facing each other and, because of its location, completely empty.

It only took five minutes after dropping their stuff and getting comfortable for Luffy to start complaining.

“Zorooooo, I’m hungry,” Luffy whined.

“I’m not your Mother, Luffy. You’re a grown up, go get some food if you’re hungry.”

Luffy sprung up, seemingly taking Zoro’s words as permission and rushed to get his words out, “Great! I’ll be back and I’ll get you something too.”

“Nothing sweet,” Zoro called after him, watching as Luffy took off across the airport in search for something to eat. “Hang on! Do you have money?” He added, except Luffy was already gone and although Zoro said he wasn’t his parent, he sure felt like it in that moment.

With a huff, he laid back down and waited for Luffy to comeback.

Zoro was stirred from his nap by a loud voice. How long had he been asleep? He blinked a few times, trying to gain his bearings and sitting up he could see Luffy coming back. Well, that was the loud voice. But his stomach dropped when he realised why he was being loud; he’d made a new friend on his food trip.

The orange haired woman from the line.

For Luffy, this sort of behaviour wasn’t anything new. The boy was friendly and wherever he went he would make friends but Luffy’s voice echoed in Zoro’s head, ‘I’ll get you something too.’ This sounded a bit too sophisticated for Luffy, but he wouldn’t put it past him. If this is what he meant, Zoro was going to kill him.

Luffy and his new friend stopped in front of Zoro, Luffy’s arms filled with food and Zoro raised an eyebrow at the food in one of her arms too, her free one pulling along her suitcase.

“I ran out of money and Nami gave me money and helped me back with it all! Isn’t that nice?” Luffy chattered, as he fell onto the bench opposite Zoro, a couple of packets dropping to the floor.

“I lent you the money. Lent! You owe me that back, remember!” Nami reminded.

Waving his hand flippantly, Luffy had moved on, now going through his snacks and no doubt deciding what he would eat first. “Oh yeah, I got you this,” Luffy said, throwing a package at Zoro.

Zoro just managed to catch it before it hit him in the face. Sushi. Hm, maybe Luffy did mean the food after all.

Nami was still standing there, hovering and seemingly trying to decide whether to stay or not.

Luffy made the decision for her.

“Sit down! You can stay with us, you’re on our flight, right?” Luffy asked.

She looked between them, “Yeah, but-”

“It’ll be like a sleepover!” Luffy excitedly interrupted her and patted the seat next to him. “We even have all this food! Midnight snacks!”

When she sat down, silently accepting the invite and muttering some excuse about being able to get her money back now, Zoro didn’t miss the triumphant grin that Luffy gave him.

Damn it! He knew it!

Delayed: hour three.

Zoro snorted, midnight snacks his arse. Luffy was currently snoring, spread out on the bench in what must be an uncomfortable angle, and surrounded by empty wrappers.

That left Zoro and Nami. Alone. Just the two of them. Luffy had been the buffer between the two of them and neither of them had really spoken to the other, conversation seemingly running through Luffy. But with him now asleep, there was an awkward lull. Zoro wasn’t a particularly big talker most of the time, let alone with people he didn’t know. He wasn’t particularly good with small talk.

They’d looked at each other a couple of times, both aware of the tension between them before Nami picked up her phone to find something to do and Zoro had picked at whatever food he had left. He should probably just go to sleep.

“So… does he normally crash like that after eating so much food?” Nami asked, breaking the silence between them.

Zoro shrugged. “Luffy eats a lot. Probably has to, to be able to keep up with all the energy he has.”

“Hm, that can’t be healthy for him.”

“Enjoy it whilst you can. Just wait till he wakes up refreshed.” Zoro smirked at her, growing bigger when she groaned.

When they lapsed back into silence, but it wasn’t as stiffening this time. Instead, it was relaxed.

Delayed: hour five.

Zoro needed to pee. He woke up to find Luffy still asleep but also Nami, her book resting against her stomach, meaning she’d fallen asleep reading. He wasn’t surprised, it was late into the night at this point… or morning, he didn’t have the time right now.

He’d seen Luffy at one point go to the toilet and he wandered in that direction

It was fifteen minutes later and Zoro was really starting to need the toilet. But everything looked the same and no matter how many times he tried not to, he ended up in front of Pret again. There wasn’t even anyone to ask. Employees had long since gone home and anyone laying around were asleep. Not that he needed to ask, because he wasn’t lost. He wasn’t.

He continued walking and somehow wound up back where Luffy and Nami was. Except Nami was no longer asleep and he didn’t like the look she was giving him. He could feel his hackles rising.

“Enjoying a nightly stroll, are we?” Nami asked teasingly.

“And what of it?” Zoro crossed his arms, looking unimpressed.

“You’ve walked past here three times already, looking baffled each time. Can you not find the toilets?” The look on her face said she already knew the answer, but she still raised an eyebrow, waiting for his admission.

“I’m not lost!” Zoro said, outraged.

“Luckily for you, I also want to go to the toilet, so I’ll show you the way.” Ignoring his denial and taking the lead. Despite his denial, it was very telling when he followed after her silently.

Zoro bit the inside of his cheek when he found out where the toilets were. They were ridiculously close to where they were sitting and now that he was following Nami, he noticed all the signs leading to the toilets.

“Aren’t you going to the toilet?” Zoro asked when Nami didn’t move towards the ladies’ section.

“No, I don’t actually need to go, but you don’t seem like the sort to accept help very easily and I couldn’t bear watching you walk past a fourth, fifth and sixth time.” Nami said breezily.

Zoro didn’t grace her with a response, he stomped off towards the toilets instead, muttering angrily under his breath.

He wasn’t expecting her to wait for him but there she was, leaning against the wall just outside. She smiled at him but didn’t say anything, seemingly getting her fill on making fun of him earlier. It wasn’t new for him anyway; his friends made enough comments about his lack of direction, but it didn’t mean he enjoyed it.

“What woke you?” Zoro asked as they walked back, “You look tired.”

“Is that your way of saying I look bad?” Nami shot back, sending him a warning glance to pick his next words carefully.

“No, it’s my way of saying you look tired.” Women, jeez. Always took things he said the wrong way. It was true anyway, her eyes looked puffy and a bit bloodshot. Otherwise, she looked fine. The ‘more than fine’ echoed in the back of his head, but he pretended not to hear it.

“I struggle to sleep in airports or on planes, I don’t know why, I just always do.” Nami shrugged.

That at least explained her poor attitude at the desk earlier, probably frustrated she wouldn’t be sleeping that night.

As they continued walking, Zoro couldn’t help but feel the trip back was taking longer than their trip there. He probably shouldn’t question it; she’d only start up her tirade on his lack of directional skills. But after another minute, he couldn’t stay silent any longer and voiced his question.

“Oh, I wanted to stretch my legs a bit. Figured you wouldn’t mind.”

“Ever thought about asking?”

“And leave you to find your own way back? We can’t risk losing you, we may not ever find you again.” She smiled mischievously at him.

“I always find my way back.”

“Oh, so you admit that you get lost in the first place?” She looked far too pleased with herself as she looked up at him.

He bristled. “No! That’s not what I- stop laughing, damn it!”

Her laughter drowned out his attempts to defend himself

Delayed: hour seven.

“You’re cheating,” Zoro grit out, levelling Nami with a glare.

“Accuse all you like but it’s only because you’re losing!” She said, placing her cards down with a smug grin and reaching out for a packet of crisps that he’d been eyeing to claim as her prize.

After a couple of hours sleep, Luffy had woken up and Zoro’s previous words had been spot on. Luffy was practically vibrating with energy and it was far too early in the morning to be dealing with that. Nami had sent Zoro an exasperated look and he grinned back, a silent ‘I told you so’ passing between them.

In an attempt to amuse him, Nami had gotten out her pack of cards and suggested they do some gambling. Zoro hadn’t liked the gleam in her eyes when she’d suggested money and had shut her down quickly, he didn’t know her very well, but he remembered well enough her saying something to Luffy about interest on the money she’d loaned him. He was not about to find himself in the same situation, not if he could help it anyway. She’d sighed but agreed and instead suggested the food they had left.

“Yeah Zoro, you suck at this,” Luffy chimed in, sitting beside Nami and eating one of the snacks she’d won.

“You can’t talk! You’re not even in this anymore, you lost all your food ages ago,” Zoro exclaimed. It was true, Luffy had a terrible poker face and gave away so easily when he had a good or bad hand. He had crashed out incredibly quickly.

Zoro watched as Luffy passed Nami one of the crackers he was eating, and they even had the audacity to clink them together in front of them, just rubbing it in his face how badly he was losing. What a traitor. He wasn’t doing terribly, far better than Luffy, but he’d lost more rounds than he’d won and was about to end up foodless.

It carried on this way, Nami wiping the floor with him and she had to be the best poker player he’d ever come across. He was glad he’d trusted his gut about money, he could only imagine how much debt he would be in if he’d agreed. Looking at his current hand, he bit back the grin and kept his face neutral. A straight flush. He had this. And looking at the little food he had left to bet, he had to.

“All in.” Something that would have sounded much cooler if he hadn’t just moved nuts and an orange into the pile.

Nami raised an eyebrow at him, scrutinizing his face but all he did was raise an eyebrow back in challenge. She took the bait, throwing in some of the best food she’d collected and not what Luffy was trying to eat; cake, a soda and the goddamn packet of crisps he wanted.

“Alright, show me what you’ve got,” Nami said, sounding intrigued.

“Straight-flush.” He couldn’t keep the smugness out of his tone or off of his face. His grin was bordering on dangerous, but it faltered slightly at Nami’s Cheshire cat grin.

“Royal flush,” she sang, her hands greedily sweeping the pile of food towards her as Luffy cheered. “You lose!”

“You have to be cheating!” He was outraged, how could someone be this lucky? It was impossible.

Nami laughed gleefully, her head thrown back and as angry as he wanted to be, he couldn’t. This was the happiest he’d seen her since she’d joined them and it suited her, she completely lit up. He found himself reluctantly smiling as she made a grand gesture to sweep the ‘bounty’ towards herself, the mood far too infectious.

His hand snapped out whilst he was gathering up the cards and caught the packet of crisps that had been hurtling towards his head before they hit him. Huh, it was the packet that he’d been eyeing the whole game. Nami was grinning broadly at him and he raised an eyebrow in response, silently questioning her move.

“Your poker face sucks,” was all the explanation she gave.

Delayed, hour eight.

Nami was now sitting on Zoro’s bench, Luffy had fallen back asleep and had kicked her in his sleep. It was an accident, but she still hadn’t been impressed. Zoro had seen her hand twitch and a murderous look in her eye before moving his bag to the floor and offering her a space on his bench. As much as the kick looked like it hurt, the last thing they needed was Luffy awake. He wasn’t sure what was worse, a refreshed Luffy or a grumpy one.

“So, what were you both up to whilst you were here?” Nami’s voice cut through Zoro’s thoughts.

“I was… visiting an old friend and Luffy went to see his brothers.”

“There’s more of him?” She asked incredulously.

Zoro laughed at that. “Yeah, they’re similar but more responsible than him. Probably because of Luffy, though.”

“That’s a relief at least. So what about you? Who’s your old friend?”

“She’s someone I grew up with.”

“Oh,” Nami paused, her tone unreadable, “is she your girlfriend?”

“Why, you jealous?” He quipped back, grinning at her but she refused to look at him. Was it his imagination or did she look a bit flushed? It felt good after all the flack he’s had to put up with… and it didn’t hurt to test the waters. Whatever that meant.

“More wondering how she could be so careless to let you wander out on your own.”

He glowered at the suggestion that he was no better than a toddler, it was a cheap shot, at least in his eyes, but she looked pleased with herself. He smothered down the urge to retort, knowing he would only sound like a child stomping his feet and he was trying to prove he wasn’t.

“She’s dead,” he bluntly supplied instead.

The mood died, any bantering taking a nose dives and Nami’s eyes comically widened, for the first time since meeting her, she was speechless. Her mouth trying to work around words to give him, probably something consoling but he didn’t need that.

“It’s fine, happened a long time ago,” he gruffly interrupted anything she was going to say. It wasn’t a lie anyway, it was fine. “I make a point to go back with Luffy whenever he visits his brothers. I only spend a day there before joining Luffy. We’re childhood friends, so I know his brothers well.” He was sharing more than normal but he couldn’t get his mouth to stop talking. In that moment, he was glad Luffy was asleep, he could imagine the shit eating grin Luffy would be giving him right now and even the thought of it made his ears burn in embarrassment.

“Still, sorry to hear that,” her tone softer than he’d ever heard it before now.

“Anyway, what about you?” He needed the attention off of him and that look she was giving him. It did funny things to him that he definitely wasn’t ready to think about.

“I was visiting my family… and my dead Mum,” she seemed hesitant to tack on that part but delivered it with humour regardless.

There was a beat of silence.

“Shit, what a cheerful pair we make,” Zoro snorted, the atmosphere lifting, and next to him Nami laughed.

“Nothing like some early morning sharing,” she joked, rubbing her eyes at the tiredness that must be there. Perhaps she’d be able to sleep now.

The reminder of the time drew a yawn from his mouth, it was getting far too late… or early, to be more accurate, and, begrudgingly, he had to admit to himself that he was enjoying her company, but his eyes were burning too much now. He normally slept far more than this.

She seemed to get the same idea as she pulled at her coat to try and make a comfortable pillow. It was a pitiful attempt and even Zoro knew that it’d be like sleeping on stone. He hesitated for a second, weighing up whether to do this or not. In the end he gave in.

“Here,” Zoro said gruffly, thrusting his travel pillow in her direction and refusing to make eye contact.

“How chivalrous of you.” Nami teased, leaning over and gladly taking the pillow from him.

He shrugged. “I’m taking Luffy’s, he’s fallen asleep without it.”

“Maybe not then,” she said under her breath, but he still heard it.

Normally he’d ignore comments like that, but something compelled him to explain himself. “His has drool stains on, so.”

He had a sinking feeling when he realised why he’d explained himself. He was starting to like her, more than just an appreciative glance and he realised he was venturing into unchartered territory. Snapping his eyes closed, he tried to get comfortable on the seats and ignore any other running commentary in his head… or the soft look she was giving him, seemingly understanding the kindness beneath his gruff words.

They both laid on Zoro’s bench, head’s almost touching as they spread out with Luffy snoring opposite them. There was a peaceful silence, finally matching the early morning atmosphere in the airport for the first time since they’d been there.

“You know, we should probably should have kept Luffy awake so he slept on the plane.” Nami’s voice cut into the lull. “Although, the moment we get onto the plane, that’s your problem. I’m not sat with you two.”

And he knew she was right. A four-hour plane ride with a well-rested Luffy that couldn’t roam around as he pleased. He’d have to hide the sweets they had left in the bottom of his bag.

“Shit.”

Delayed, hour ???

“This is the last call for flight FR305. Any remaining passengers for this flight should proceed to gate fifty-eight immediately.”

“Run Zoro, run!” Nami commanded, after the tannoy finished, her arm extended and pointing ahead of them. Because that would make them run faster. “And keep up Luffy, we don’t have time to lose you.”

“Easy for you to say! You’re catching a free ride. Why won’t you carry me too, Zoro?” Luffy whined, coming up beside Zoro, both of his arms behind him to wheel is own suitcase and Nami’s.

“Do I look like a camel?!” Zoro exclaimed. “Why am I even carrying you?” He huffed, adjusting his grip on the woman on his back with one hand, the other trying to keep his suitcase upright. Nami shifted, tightening her legs around his waist so she didn’t slip and Zoro had to try really hard not to think about her pressed up against his back.

“Because you said I was too slow, so get over it. Turn left… now. Left Zoro!” She instructed, yanking his top to the left when he started to veer right.

When Zoro and Nami had fallen asleep, it had been for the last time. All three of them fast asleep on the uncomfortable airport chairs and dead to the world. No one had thought to set an alarm and it was only when sunlight started to stream into Nami’s face that she blearily pried her eyes open. Her stomach dropped when she saw the amount of people walking around in the lounge, a stark contrast to before.

With dread filling her, she’d raised her phone and jumped off the bench at the time. Frantically, she woke up Luffy, shouting at him to move himself because they were about to miss their flight.

The real challenge had been Zoro. Luffy had laughed, telling her he slept like the dead. It had taken her punching him in the arm before he opened his eye and when she’d yelled at him too, he’d taken off, leaving them to hurry after him.

When they were running along a straight, Nami murmured into his ear, “You’re pretty strong, you know.” He had to try and not think about her hot breath on his neck.

“I work out,” He rushed out, resisting the urge to flex the hand supporting her thigh.

“You can tell,” she said it so quietly he almost missed it, whether that was the intention he wasn’t sure, but he did feel the way her arms tightened around his neck. All those hours at the gym felt worth it in this moment.

“Okay, last right and we should be able to see the desk.” Her voice loud again for Luffy to hear. “There it is! Shit! She’s pulling the rope across. Hey! We’re here!” Nami started to frantically wave her hand above her head to get the woman’s attention, clutching at both her and Zoro’s bag tightly with her other hand so she didn’t drop them at the last minute.

Luffy joining in shouting and Zoro pushed against the burning in his legs to speed up. This beat cardio at the gym any day.

It seemed to work, the lady looking up at them and hesitated for a moment before pulling the rope back and murmuring into the walkie talkie on the desk.

“You three sure are lucky, we were just about to close. A second later and you would have missed it,” her voice an odd mix of scolding and fond as she looked at the state of the three in front of her. “Passports and boarding passes, quickly now!”

Boarding the plane, Nami kept her head ducked to avoid any angry glares they may be getting but Luffy and Zoro didn’t care. Zoro had pushed her in front when they’d gotten past the desk, letting her lead the way. When they’d arrived at her seat, the people filed out to let her into her window seat, the man from the middle had jumped out a bit too eagerly and eyed her a bit too much for Zoro’s liking. Narrowing his eyes, Zoro took her suitcase, putting it into the overhead cabin just before the other man could offer.

She’d given him a smile and said she’d see them after the flight. Zoro and Luffy had moved to their seats after that, just two rows down and across from hers.

Zoro’s eyes wandered back over to where Nami was sitting after take-off, just being able to see her through the crack in the seats and felt disgruntled at what he saw. Nami and the man talking. The talking wasn’t the issue, she could talk to whoever she wanted. It was him. Leaning far too into her space and so damn eager, he might as well just drape himself over her. Sensing eyes on her, Nami met his eyes and smiled at him before he looked away, crossing his arms at being caught.

“Nami,” Luffy called, “Nami!” Louder, again. A few people around them sent him an annoyed look, but he didn’t notice.

Nami’s head popped over the seat. “What?” The promise of violence lacing her voice. She smiled apologetically at the people behind her.

“Come here!” Luffy waved his hand towards him, oblivious to the danger he was in. Although, Luffy was in the window seat and even Zoro knew Nami wouldn’t lean across the stranger on the end to punch him.

Rolling her eyes, she disappeared from view and once again asked the people if they’d let her out. The lech next to her obviously had no issue and smiled easily as she slid passed him, his eyes watching her walk away. Creep.

“Sorry,” Nami apologised to the old lady on the end next to Zoro, “This will be the last time, I promise.” Then she turned to glare at Luffy. “What do you want? I can’t keep getting up like this.”

“What are you eating?” Luffy asked.

Nami looked like she was going to explode at his question, and Zoro wished he wasn’t sat in-between them, he didn’t want to be hit in the crossfire- stranger be damned now.

Before Nami could respond, the old lady on the end seat was speaking up, “I can swap places with you, dear. You’re friends, right? This way you can sit together.”

“Oh no, no really! That’s not necessary.” Nami was waving her hands in refusal.

“Really? You’d do that for us! That’s so nice, old lady!” Luffy interrupted, leaning over Zoro to beam at the lady.

Zoro elbowed Luffy for his insulting name but the lady didn’t seem bothered, she smiled back and reassured them it’s not issue as she collected her bag. Both Zoro and Nami thanked her, the latter following after the lady so she could collect her own bag.

The lech’s face dropped when he realised what was happening and Zoro couldn’t stop the grin curling up his face. It soon fell off though when Luffy caught his eye and waggled his eyebrows at him.

Nami flopped onto the seat next to Zoro. “That’s it, I’m done moving”

“Welcome back,” Zoro said, sounding far too pleased with himself and pointing at Luffy beside him, “Seems Luffy is your problem again.” Referring to her earlier words before they both went to sleep.

Luffy began to chatter excitedly.

Turns out they weren’t done moving.

Luffy refused to sit still or stop drinking water, so he constantly wanted to get out to either walk about or go to the toilet. Nami had lost her temper when he’d clambered over her, waking her up after finally falling asleep. Luffy and Zoro both got hit for that. Luffy, for clambering over her and Zoro, for letting him, despite his protests.

The new order had Zoro sitting in the window seat, Nami in the middle seat and Luffy on the end so he could run around to his heart’s content and bother other people. Not that that happened.

They were currently playing cards, no gambling after Zoro refused to play whilst shooting Nami an accusing look. So instead it was a game of Uno, adapted to Nami’s playing cards and used her pulldown table to place the game on. Surprisingly, Luffy was quite good at this, as him and Nami currently only held five cards each, whilst Zoro had fifteen.

When Nami slapped down a three of hearts, he cursed and when Luffy put down a joker, his eyes scanned frantically at his fifteen cards. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Fifteen cards and nothing?!” Accepting his fate and picking up six cards.

“Maybe you just suck at all card games,” Nami hummed, Luffy next to her laughing and agreeing.

“No, now you’re both cheating,” and cursed as he adjusted his grip on the cards.

Needless to say, Zoro didn’t win. It instead became a battle between Nami and Luffy, Nami only narrowly winning the best out of five tournaments. It was called off shortly after that as she yawned.

She nuzzled her head back into the headrest and closed her eyes. “Zoro?” She murmured.

“Hm?” He cast her a sideways look.

“Do you have any games on your phone?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Please give it to Luffy so I can sleep. He might be well rested, but I’m not.” Her voice taking on a cranky edge, not that he could blame her. Neither of them had slept much since the delay.

Leaning over, he passed Luffy his phone and that seemed to occupy the boy for the time being.

Nami must have been tired, because her breathing evened out shortly after and Zoro took the opportunity to shut his eyes for a bit too. They wouldn’t be on the plane for much longer, but he still had to make the trip home after landing.

His eye cracked open when he felt a weight on his shoulder and when he looked there was a shock of orange hair contrasting against his green top. He was frozen for a moment and stiffened when she nuzzled against his shoulder to get comfortable, adjusting her position so her body faced towards him.

“You’re really comfortable,” she mumbled tiredly. Was she even aware of what she was saying?

“Yup,” he replied stiffly, what was he supposed to say? But she stayed silent, going still against his shoulder.

Before he closed his eye again, the lech walked past and by the looks of it, was hoping to see her. His face soured though when he saw her cuddled up to Zoro and when their eyes met, Zoro couldn’t resist the triumphant grin that crossed his face. He didn’t care if Luffy saw right now.

But he still made a point of pretending to be asleep before he rested his head on top of hers.

When Zoro started to wake, he could feel a crick in his neck starting to form from the odd angle he’d slept in and twisted it around to try loosening it. He felt a weight shift on his shoulder and when he looked down, he was much too close to Nami’s face. He’d completely forgotten just how’d they’d fallen asleep and it seemed she had too based on the shocked expression on her face.

“Oh, um, sorry,” Nami said sheepishly, cheeks flushed and eyes looking everywhere but at him as she took her hand off of his arm. When did that get there?

“S’fine,” He tried to coolly reply, except his face was warm, as was his arm where her hand had been.

“You two have been asleep for ages!” Ah yes, Luffy had been oddly quiet for far too long. “Sure looked comfortable cuddled up together though.” And his words certainly didn’t help the weird tension between them or the flushes on their cheeks.

For the rest of the descent Zoro was far too interested with looking out the window and Nami inspecting the sales brochure. Except neither of them bothered to move their arms, which were still pressed up against each other’s.

As soon as the plane touched the tarmac, Luffy was up and making noise about getting off. Nami and Zoro felt the same though as they awkwardly stood from their seats and tried to stretch as best as they could in such cramped confines.

“Zoro, will you get my suitcase?” Nami asked, pointing over at her old seat.

“Now? It’s packed in here; we’ll have to wait.” He doubted he’d even be able to get out into the isle right now.

“You think he’s going to wait?” She pointed at Luffy who was already trying to muscle his way through the people. Nami just managed to snag his sleeve and haul him back to them.

Sighing, she made a good point. With such tight confines, Zoro had to squeeze past Nami and when he’d chanced a glance at her face, she’d looked flustered. He felt a shot of pride go through him.

Despite his big size, he managed to manoeuvre through and just as he was reaching up to grab her suitcase, the old lady who had swapped seats turned around to face him.

“It’s really sweet that you look after your girlfriend so well.” The old lady said, eyeing the suitcase, as if it was proof of her statement.

“Uh, no, we’re not-” He stumbled over his words and was aware that strangers were turning to look at him.

“So sweet! Ah young love.” Completely ignoring Zoro as he spluttered, still trying to string his words together. The lady didn’t give him the chance either, turning on her heel to follow other passengers as they finally started to disembark.

“Come on Zoro! We’re moving.” Luffy shouted and he turned to see that Luffy had managed to get their bags. What surprised him was that Nami was wearing his rucksack that he’d left on his seat when he’d left to get her suitcase, her own bag slung over her shoulder.

“What did that lady say to you?” Nami asked as he re-joined them. “It was nice of her to swap.”

“I thanked her for swapping, that’s all.” There was no way he was going to tell her about that embarrassing conversation, if it could even be called that based on its one-sided nature.

No one questioned that and disembarked the plane, walking across the tarmac and into the terminal. Every so often, Nami’s hand would grab at Zoro’s upper arm to pull him towards her just before he could start to wander in a different direction and every time, he would mutter about the signs being confusing.

The moment they walked through the luggage hall, Luffy was running into the duty free and towards the free food samples he could see. Neither stopped him, embracing the peace whilst they could.

It was then that Zoro suddenly realised he was pulling two suitcases. “Oi, why am I pulling your suitcase too!?”

“I hurt my arm.” Nami pouted, rubbing at her wrist for the first time since she’d been with them.

Zoro’s eyes narrowed. “Convenient. When did this happen?”

“When I was trying to wake your lazy arse up, so you can drop that tone! You only made this flight because of me, remember that!”

He could feel his anger biting at her snooty tone and before his brain could assess whether he should be saying this or not, it was out, “Yeah well it’s your fault I was so tired, I only stayed up to keep you company.”

Nami’s eyes widened at his confession and Zoro felt too hot. In his head it had sounded much harsher, more accusing but out in the open, it sounded so soft.

He was becoming such a sap.

There was a brief moment of silence between them, as Zoro cursed to himself and Nami took in the words.

She saved him the embarrassment in the end. “I don’t know what you’re complaining about anyway, I’m carrying your hideous rucksack. Fair trade,” she grumbled, but there was no missing the pleased expression on her face.

“Tch,” was all he said, all he could say, not fully trusting his brain right now.

Luffy came bounding up to them then, free samples of chocolate clutched in his hands from the duty free and sales assistants glaring at his back. In that moment, Zoro was glad for Luffy’s timing, although if he was going to be critical, he could have come over a bit sooner.

“So how are you getting home?” Luffy asked, popping a sweet in his mouth and looked far too innocent.

“My roommate’s coming to pick me up, she should be here by now.”

“If she’s not, you can always get a lift with us, saves her the trip.” Zoro glared over Nami’s head at Luffy but he continued to smile back.

Screw Luffy and his timing, how was he still pulling this shit?

Nami laughed lightly, “Thanks for the offer but she doesn’t get lost like Zoro or distracted like you.”

Before Zoro could gripe about being spoken about like he wasn’t there, the doors for arrivals opened and Nami gasped, “Robin!” And she suddenly took off, running towards the woman who he supposed was her roommate.

“Usopp!” Luffy called, and Zoro turned just in time to see Luffy running off in the opposite direction after their friend.

Zoro was used to feeling like a babysitter with Luffy but when he realised he still had Nami’s suitcase and she still had his rucksack, he was wondering when his one responsibility suddenly turned into two.

Rolling his eyes, he followed after Nami, Luffy would be fine with Usopp.

When he reached them Nami had pulled away from the hug and was telling her details of the last twenty-four hours, before Robin stopped her and nodded behind Nami.

She looked surprised that he’d followed her until he was nudging her suitcase towards her and gesturing for his rucksack.

When she handed it over, Robin was looking between the pair and Nami took the opportunity to introduce them. “This is Robin, my roommate and this is Zoro.”

“Ah, Zoro! I’ve heard so much about you-” Nami squeaked at that, turning on her friend as Zoro raised an eyebrow at her, “-but thank you for taking such good care of her.” So the teasing wasn’t exclusively for Nami, much to Zoro’s chagrin. There was a knowing look in Robin’s eyes and matched with the way she’d worded that, she should just join Luffy’s little group.

Speak of the devil.

Luffy came hurtling over, pushing through the throng of people with Usopp hot on his heels, except Luffy didn’t have the same social etiquette and in the end, it was Zoro introducing their friend.

“Oh, so you’re Nami,” Usopp said, shaking her hand and voice filled with so much insinuation, there was no way Luffy hadn’t blabbed. Traitors. The lot of them. Even the newcomer Robin.

“Yeah?” Nami looked confused as she returned the handshake and threw Zoro a wary look, which he shrugged his shoulders at.

Usopp’s phone started to ring and when he picked up, there was a loud, irritable voice on the other end, “Are the shitheads there? I’m in a no stop zone so they better be, otherwise, we’re leaving them. This is the second time I’m risking a fine and they don’t have an excuse of a shitty delay this time.”

Although not on loudspeaker, it was clear enough that the group could hear. Zoro rolled his eye and said to Usopp, “What, could the Pervert not find the pick-up zone?”

“I heard that! You’re the last one I want to hear that from, Marimo!”

“We’re coming!” Usopp rushed out and hung up before a fight could break out. No doubt Usopp would pay for that later. “Okay, we have to go, now!”

“Nami! We’re going to the pub at the weekend, you and Robin are coming,” Luffy demanded, ignoring Usopp’s pleas for them to get going. “Gimme your number and I’ll text you the details.” And made grabby hands for her phone.

“Sounds like fun,” Robin said encouragingly as Nami handed over her phone with a sigh.

As soon as Luffy had finished texting himself from her phone, he relented to Usopp’s pulling, shouting, “See you at the weekend!”

All that left was Robin, Nami and Zoro. Except Robin had taken a step back and so it really just left Nami and Zoro awkwardly staring at each other.

“Well, see you at the weekend, I suppose,” Zoro said, rubbing the back of his neck and shouldering his rucksack.

“Oh, sure.” Nami sounded disappointed at his words.

Zoro took the first step back before turning around and as he walked towards Luffy and Usopp, he kicked himself. He was interested in the damn irritating woman and he’d just chickened out. She seemed interested, perhaps, maybe, but he hadn’t exactly made himself clear so maybe she was just being friendly? But then why did she look disappointed before he left?

He was giving himself a headache, and this is exactly why he didn’t get involved with other people. Besides, he could be patient, maybe wait this out and see what happens.

Except, when had he ever done that? He was no coward.

God damn it.

“Shit,” Zoro sighed and stopped walking beside Luffy and Usopp. Usopp looked at him, bewildered. “Look after my suitcase, I’ll be back.” And he turned around, jogging back towards the women walking the opposite way.

“Zoro, we don’t-” Usopp’s words were interrupted as Luffy slapped a hand across his mouth.

“It’s happening!” Luffy cheered.

“Nami!” Zoro called, steadily approaching the women, “Nami!”

She turned on the final call and looked puzzled at his approaching form. She said to Robin that she’d be back and took a few steps towards Zoro until she was standing in front of him. “Did I forget something?” She asked, looking down at Zoro’s empty hands.

“No,” he abruptly said.

“Okay, so… what’s up?”

Okay, he hadn’t thought this far ahead. He was blanking and the longer she looked up at him quizzically, the more he felt like a moron and the more his face felt like it was on fire.

“Uh, well,” he coughed, “I was just wondering, y’know, if you wanted, to ah, I know you’re coming to the pub, but maybe, we could?” This was so much harder than he’d expected.

But Nami’s quizzical expression melted off, instead replaced by a knowing one and somehow that was worse. Now she was aware of what an idiot he was making of himself.

She put him out of his misery fairly quickly by tugging on his top to pull him down and connect their lips. It was the last thing he was expecting but Nami was firm, waiting for him to get over his surprise. He could feel pulsing in his ears and he was sure he looked like a fool, hunched over and arms by his side but he finally got himself moving after a second. The moment his lips responded, moving cautiously over hers, she was pulling away.

“I’ll go out with you, especially when you ask so eloquently,” she said, mirth dancing in her eyes.

And something about that look made it click into place for Zoro. “…Have you been flirting with me this whole time?!”

Nami released his top and threw her hands up in disbelief. “So kissing you is what it takes for you to realise? You’re impossible,” she groused.

Zoro didn’t know how to respond to that and really, she probably had a point… not that he’d tell her that, he’d never hear the end of it. But now it all made sense, the last twenty-four hours washing over him. She was just as interested in him as he was her.

Nami continued on talking when he didn’t say anything, apparently not expecting him to say anything. “Your way of flirting is appalling by the way, has it ever worked on someone before? If Luffy hadn’t have said anything, I never would have guessed.”

That got him talking. “… Luffy?”

“Well yeah, I presumed you had asked for his help, he told me you were interested in me?” She finished her sentence as a question at Zoro’s blank look, her confidence wavering.

Zoro’s head whipped around to glare at Luffy, unimpressed by his gossiping and meddling whilst he wasn’t around. He knew Luffy was being a little shit with Zoro, but he didn’t think his friend had actually said something to her. Luffy wasn’t fazed at Zoro’s expression though, shooting him a double thumbs up and cheery smile with Usopp next to him doing the same thing. They both looked like idiots.

“When,” He flatly demanded when he faced her again.

“When I first met him getting the food and when you were off looking for the toilets… you really didn’t know?” Nami asked, head cocked to the side and scrutinising his face for whether he was being honest.

“You’ve spent the last twenty-four hours with us, what do you think?” He looked to the side, disgruntled and Nami laughed. But then a thought occurred to him. “Wait, if you knew, why didn’t you say anything?”

“And miss out your weird attempts at flirting? Never, this has been gold!”

A look of horror crossing over his face. “You witch!”

“Terms of endearments already? You move awfully fast when you get going,” Nami cooed and her hand reached up to squeeze Zoro’s jaw teasingly.

And just to shut her up, he kissed her. That was the only reason.

But that was hardly believable when he tilted his head to get a better angle as she hummed against his lips and his arms moved to her waist to pull her closer. Her arms circled around his neck as she moved her lips against his.

It would have been a nice moment, if it weren’t for the peanut gallery around them. He could hear Luffy and Usopp’s obnoxious hooting and even Nami’s roommate was clapping. Decided that was enough for now, he pulled away but kept his arms around her and was greeted by a pretty blush on her face.

“Luffy has my number, text me!” Nami said, her arms slipping away from his neck and she took a step back before turning around completely to walk back to Robin.

When Zoro walked back to Luffy and Usopp, they instantly glomped him, noisily taking over each other in their excitement and even Zoro couldn’t keep the smile off his face. He did it.

He turned around for the last time to see Nami walking beside Robin and it looked like she was being teased based on the hands on her cheeks and the look of outrage on her face.

In the car.

Usopp and Luffy were still jeering Zoro as they got to the car and from inside the car Sanji’s knuckles white from clutching the steering wheel, glaring at them through the glass.

“Since when does ‘we’re coming’ actually mean ten minutes later?” Sanji’s irate voice filtering out the car as soon as one of the doors opened.

“Zoro asked out a woman!” Luffy shouted in excitement, pushing Usopp out of the way to get in the front seat.

“Ah well, tough luck Marimo,” Sanji said with false sympathy, as they filed into the car. “Maybe work on your ugly face and poor attitude and maybe the next one will say yes.”

“She said yes,” Zoro replied, a self-satisfied smirk forming on his face as Sanji bit his cigarette in half.

“And she kissed him!” Usopp cheered, matching Luffy’s zeal.

Sanji’s face whipped around to face Zoro, his face marred in disbelief. “SHE WHAT!?”

---------------------------------------

As much as I love a smooth Zoro, I also love an awkward fool who has no romantic experience. They actually weren’t meant to kiss at all, but how could I do an airport AU without a kiss?!

Fun fact about FR305! When I was younger, I worked in an airport jewellery store and we would have to ask for boarding passes to process purchases. If someone didn’t have theirs on them, I would bash in FR305, a flight to Ireland and continue.

After a while, the airport started complaining to our managers because it was being put in even when the flight wasn’t scheduled for that day, but I always got away with it! They probably realised after I left.

Also… was it obvious I don’t know how to play poker? I researched as much as my brain would allow me to. I do, however, know how to play Uno with normal playing cards (but let’s face it, it’s not really that hard- sigh).

Please forgive any spelling errors, unfortunately I’m only one person.

Thanks for reading.

#ZoNami #zona #zoroxnami #zoronami #opfanfic #opwriting #one piece #zoro #nami #luffy

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marithlizard · 4 years

Text

Ace Attorney: Rise From the Ashes (part 1)

A couple of people expressed interest in a writeup as I play through the game, so I thought I’d give quasi-liveblogging a try. It might have come out to be too detailed - let me know if the result is amusing enough to go through the next part.

(I knew this already, but wow liveblogging is a lot of work. And it must take twice as much effort to do this for a show and to include screencaps.)

(I’ve tried three times now to put proper line breaks/spacing in, and they’re just not displaying, at least on desktop. I’m sorry.)

A brief, stylized opening designed not to give away much, except that a creepy-looking doll is involved.

Two months? Phoenix, you haven't taken a single client since Maya left? a) are you depressed, and b) how are you paying rent on the office?

Ookay, you're not going to tell us why you've been moping around. I don't think it's that you have a crush on Maya. Are you just not able to function without a partner? That's not great for your ability to survive, but I can sympathize.

New perky assistant, right on cue. (A partner who isn't a young girl would be a nice change now and then. (But not Larry. Anyone but Larry. In fact, I take it back, this girl with the pink sunglasses will do just fine.))

Oof, Phoenix still not being able to say out loud that Mia's dead.

In the first two minutes pink-glasses girl has asserted that he's his female boss, the coffee boy, and 'better than nothing'. Aha! The problem with all the clients he turned down was that they didn't insult him enough.

Kid, you can't be more than sixteen, and you have silly face buttons on your lab coat. You are about as much a scientific investigator as Photography Girl last episode was a journalist. ...But apparently you have a future job lined up in forensics, so you're more organized than she was. And this world certainly could use more competent crime scene analysis.

"I promised her I'd bring Mia Fey". Huh. Is Mia's murder not well-known to the public, then, even though the Edgeworth case apparently got famous enough to earn Phoenix a bit of a reputation?

A murder charge with an eyewitness, and an assistant who "kind of hates" her sister the defendant. Sounds hopeless, let's do it! Off to the Detention Center.

...Did we just overhear the defendant threatening their terrified guard with a pay freeze? Is she their boss? And if she's someone that high up, why doesn't she already have a better defense attorney?

I like Lana Skye's character design. She looks as though she should be starring in a Takurazuka revue show, swearing eternal star-crossed love to a princess.

She insists she did it. By genre convention we know that can't be the case; my first assumption is that she's being forced to cover for someone, blackmailed or coerced by someone higher up in the system. But it would certainly be interesting if it turned out she was covering for Ema.

Must....resist...plotbunnies...

Oookay. A prosecutor should certainly know ways to commit murder without getting caught, and this sounds like the opposite of those ways. WHY does she claim she did this? You're not even going to ask her, are you? *headdesk*

Ema: "Please ignore that totally gay statement by my sister, because I certainly plan to!"

Lana: "No don't help me, go away go away go away go away go awa-oh fine."

Hmmm. From Ema's description of the behavior change, Lana has been being blackmailed or coerced for a long time now.

Time to go investigate the underground parking garage.

Attorneys aren't supposed to examine crime scenes, and defense attorneys aren't entitled to a copy of the police investigation reports. What does a "normal" defense attorney in this world do for their clients then? Always assume a loss and try to negotiate a plea bargain? I wonder if we'll ever get to see one in action.

It's...a cop with a cowboy fetish? Do police not have dress codes here? Maybe they're waived above a certain level, and some people take pride in cultivating a unique style to show off that they can. It would explain Edgeworth.

You are dramatically pretending to shave in front of us. Also you just called Ema a baby cow. Although you know her and seem sympathetic - I guess Lana brought her little sister to the office sometimes? Not sure what I think of you, Jake Marshall.

I am revising my stance. Being Phoenix's partner on a case requires precise and narrow qualifications. Specifically, just enough sense to stop him from doing something breathtakingly stupid, but not enough sense to take the badge firmly away from him and do the job themselves. Ema fits the bill perfectly.

Ooh, new mechanic! And an ID card number for a Bruce Goodman who dresses like a white-hat agent in Spy vs Spy. (I was trained on games that would require you to write that number down and remember it later, but AA will certainly be more forgiving.)

Using the new mechanic on Phoenix's attorney badge, I deduce that at some point this game it will be stolen.

It doesn't explain Lana's supposed actions, but that red sports car does kind of scream "My owner is a jerk, stuff a body in my trunk." Instead of a chalk outline, they seem to have outlined the hanging body with string? Is that actually a technique, and how do they get the rope to stay put in precise outline?

And the cowboy gives them a hint. So he's on their side but constrained by rules?

Lady put the boobs away. Why are you selling sushi in a negligee under a fur coat, at a crime scene? And why would anyone trust food from someone whose nickname is "the Cough-Up Queen"?

Angel Starr, dominatrix lunch lady. It says something that this is not the weirdest witness in an AA game so far.

She hates prosecutors, and therefore especially Lana. Not a trustworthy witness. But it's probably no fun to cater for a group of (relatively) wealthy and powerful people you despise. Especially if they're smugly giving awards to each other as they eat lunches. (Eeeevil lunches. She probably coughs on them.)

"The rhythmic beat of Lana Skye's knife"... very poetic, but didn't Lana say the victim was stabbed only once?

We can't get back to the car, phooey, so up to the prosecutor's office we go.

Pink...everywhere...no question whose office this is, even if one of his outfits wasn't framed on the wall. (why do you frame an outfit?) I see a very ugly trophy on the sofa, so he's the one who won the award.

Ema: "this is the kind of room that just screams 'I can do the job'. Actually it screams 'I don't need to pretend to be heterosexual', but the two aren't unconnected.

Is it just me or is that trophy broken off at the top?

Edgeworth did you just roll with being insulted and make a joke about it? I'm so proud of you, you've clearly relaxed since your murder trial!

BWAHAHA of course it was Edgeworth's car.

Wendy the security guard from the Steel Samurai case is sending Edgeworth expensive presents?? a) that's both funny and a little sad, b) how can she afford it, and c) he keeps and displays them which is very courteous.

WAIT did you - did this game just heavily suggest Gumshoe hangs out in the office a lot? Twice, once when you look at the shelves and again when you look at the desk? I don't ship it, but this is the point where I start to see why people do.

Awwww he's embarrassed about the trophy, that's cute. So he's the one who "devours the evillest lunches of all", hmm? I wouldn't have thought the Cough-Up Queen's weird not-even-fresh lunches would appeal to Edgeworth's refined tastes.

Ema actually has a bit of a crush, from the way she's rhapsodizing about Edgeworth sleeping on the sofa. d'awww. And I definitely want to know the story behind the outfit. Made by his mom and too precious to wear?

Edgeworth, no one thinks you did it. Sheesh. He certainly doesn't sound happy about having to prosecute Lana, even though he believes she's guilty. His car, his knife... it almost seems like this is a plot aimed at him, or perhaps a plot against Lana with a healthy dose of fuck-you-too-Edgeworth to it.

Huh. Maybe it *is* aimed at him. I've been assuming all this time from his behavior on the stand that Edgeworth has indeed been messing with evidence to convict obviously innocent people, and also assuming that it's common practice in this corrupt justice system. (Much as it is in Japan and in the US). But the way he's talking about rumors right now, it sounds more like he's being slandered. And he thinks the award he was given was out of mockery. Ouch.

So yes, the trophy is broken. (In RWBY, you assume everything is a gun; in AA, you assume everything is a murder weapon. It probably broke when it was used to hit someone over the head.)

Evidence transferal day, huh? Was the murder timed to draw attention away from a case being closed? And Edgeworth parked his car only three minutes before Goodman was stabbed and thrown into its trunk? No way. He was there for the murder, or more likely that's not when the murder happened. (Is he being coerced like Lana? I don't think so, but it's possible.)

Enter an idiot mailman with a bandaged hand. And exit, with sniveling. What was that about?

And a hint to go investigate at the police station. Is Edgeworth being friendly, attempting to signal something, or merely aware that the most efficient way to get rid of Phoenix is to give him a clue to chase?

The police department entrance, with some sort of plywood jester figure in front of it. We're offhandedly informed that it took 30 minutes to get there from Edgeworth's office, which means that will be important later.

This is the creepy doll from the intro! It's clearly meant to be a mascot. Was it made by the sniveling mailman? There's a certain resemblance...

No, I should've guessed that Gumshoe made it. I mean ... mechanically it's pretty clever for someone who's not a craftsman or engineer? Moving articulated limbs and all. It's just the aesthetics and design he shouldn't have been allowed anywhere near.

Yes, yes it is odd that only the top-ranked people are being allowed to work on the case. Are they all in on it? A patrolman in charge of the crime scene instead of a detective - that suggests Marshall is part of the conspiracy. I'm thinking the dominatrix lunch lady is too.

Gumshoe is so happy about the prosecutor's award - Edgeworth probably didn't have the heart to say that for him it's a mockery. Daww. (Also there's something endearingly cheerful about his hopping-caterpillar eyebrows.) He's also being much more helpful than his superiors would want, probably just because he thinks of Phoenix as an ally in general now.

Back to the parking lot, with a letter of introduction in hand this time.

I genuinely can't tell if the lunch lady is a sex worker, if she actually has multiple boyfriends, or if that's code for her professional contacts in whatever she's really doing here. (And that's an interesting cultural bit, isn't it - any of those options seem possible, and I'm not expecting any of the characters to question her competence or morality because of it, not even in court. If this was a US-made game my expectations would be...different.)

"Good men always die young"...I see what you did there, Marshall.

Autopsy report confirms one stab wound. Lana and the victim worked together on "a case a few years back", ding ding ding. Someone didn't want the evidence for that case transferred. Or looked at.

Marshall used to be a detective but got demoted? And he's lying about why he was assigned to the crime scene, and telling us Gumshoe is off the case because he's friends with Edgeworth. The police chief, whoever he is, is now at the top of my suspect list.

Happily, the game will let me do dumbass things like show off Goodman's ID card without consequences. Marshall seems very uninterested in it and why it was found so far from the spot of the murder, which I take to mean "we have our official narrative, don't go messing it up with facts or evidence."

Finally we can examine the car! First up, Lana's cellphone. The whole business about hitting redial and somehow not knowing that Ema's phone rang was weird. Phoenix’s lie couldn't possibly have fooled Marshall, who is bizarrely claiming there's no way to know who the last call was made to. It's an odd thing to conceal, even given the “no facts please we have our narrative” stance. Maybe he's trying to protect Ema somehow?)

Marshall said the rumors about Edgeworth came from Lana. And we have a note found in the trunk: 6-7S 12/2, on a piece of Goodman's stationery.

Er, yeah, Ema, why didn't you mention your sister called you 3 minutes after the claimed murder time? If Lana hung up right away that's hardly incriminating for either of you.

End of Day One! We are, as usual, completely unprepared for tomorrow morning's trial.

#ace attorney #rise from the ashes #ace attorney spoilers

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veorlian · 4 years

Text

Idolatry - Renewal

Pairing: Garrus Vakarian/Female Shepard

Rating: T for swearing and stabbing.

Summary: Citadel DLC, Part 2/3. Conclusion to the clone fight, hanging out with friends, and date night.

ao3 link

Excerpt:

“Legion, you know I’ve never played a video game before,” she said wryly. She was sitting on one of her too-large couches as Legion fiddled with the television.

“Acknowledged. Based on previous experience, the adequate response to this statement is ‘git gud, scrub,’ although I have been unable to ascertain its exact meaning,” Legion replied.

It was quiet in the cargo bay. Too damn quiet. Shepard paused just outside of the elevator door, listening. Since she’d gotten the cybernetic upgrades, she’d grown accustomed to dampening her senses. The first few days after her resurrection it had been almost impossible to move without being bombarded with sounds, smells, sights that sent her to her reeling. Now, she tuned back in. She closed her eyes, and she listened.

It was never entirely silent on a ship. The gentle, ever-present hum of the Normandy was a high-pitched whine, now that EDI wasn’t in control. It made Shepard wince. She could hear Garrus’ breathing, and her own uneven heartbeat.

And she could hear faint breathing, up and to the left. Her lips curled in a humourless smile.

“You might as well give up,” Shepard called. “You’ve lost.”

“I haven’t lost anything.” The clone’s voice echoed off the walls, impossible to pinpoint. But Shepard could hear her footsteps now, circling around. Shepard motioned for Garrus and EDI to stay where they were, and she slowly moved into the room.

“And yet here you are, hiding from me like a coward. What’s the matter, little girl, are you scared? You should be. You should be terrified.” The footsteps grew stronger, closer together, nearer.

The razor-sharp edge of the clone’s omni-tool came whistling towards Shepard’s face, but Shepard easily countered it with her own. The sound of the blades clashing echoed across the room.

“You may look like me,” Shepard breathed, “but I’ve forgotten more ways to kill than you’ll ever learn.”

“I’m going to enjoy killing you,” the clone spat. The fluorescent orange of the omni-blades reflected onto the clone’s face. It was a damn shame for her, really, that Shepard knew all of her own tells.

“I’m sure you’re used to disappointment by now,” Shepard said softly, and she shoved the clone away, hard. The next second she was invisible, and booking it towards EDI and Garrus at the back of the room. She ducked into cover behind the requisitions terminal. The cargo bay, Shepard realized belatedly, was a shit place to have a fight. From there, it was impossible to get a good fix on any of the oncoming enemies. Apparently they had no trouble hitting her though; a grenade arced through the air and exploded next to her, sending flames licking up her armour.

“Shit,” she hissed. She tucked into a combat roll away from the fire. She rose to her feet and a fist connected with her bruised ribs. Shepard stumbled back as her clone materialized in front of her. Damn it, she was supposed to be a long-range fighter, what the hell was up with all the melee? Shepard feinted to the left before delivering a swift upper-cut to her clone’s jaw.

She should’ve delivered a swift upper-cut, but the clone wasn’t there anymore. Shepard felt an arm around her neck, choking her. Fuck that.

Shepard got a grip on her clone’s arms and then brought her torso down, sending the clone slamming into the ground. Shepard swung her Widow around and got the clone in the chest, point-blank. The clone faded into invisibility again and was gone. Damn it.

A handful of mercs raced away from the fight, climbing into the Kodiak shuttle. The hatch to the cargo bay opened and they sped away. In their haste, they left the door open. The wind whipped through Shepard’s hair, sending it flying into her face. She impatiently pushed it away.

“Just give up, will you? You’re past your best-before date. I’m the new and improved version, without the scarring and annoying moral code,” the clone shouted. Shepard was having a bit of an out of body experience. It’s one thing to have doubts about yourself, it’s an entirely different experience to hear them repeated back to you in your own damn voice.

“Was that supposed to be an insult? I earned these scars on Feros, and Noveria, and Ilos, and Thessia, and Rannoch! You got yours out of a petri dish.” Her voice rang clear through the cargo bay. What was it she’d said to Zaeed? You’re just a collection of scars held together by spite. Maybe they had that in common.

“You’re just a mediocre soldier with a lucky streak.”

“Then what does it say about you that I’m kicking your ass?” Shepard shouted back. She finally caught her clone in her sights, and got her in the leg with a shot from the Widow. Her clone stumbled, and Shepard raced forward, tackling her to the ground. They rolled together down the open ramp until they came to rest almost at the bottom. Shepard’s clone reared up, her fist hurtling towards Shepard’s face. The ship rocked violently, sending them flying. They both ended up holding onto the edge of the cargo bay door, nothing but a steep drop beneath them.

“Why you and not me? What makes you so damn special?” Shepard felt a small twinge of guilt at the pain in her clone’s voice.

“Shepard, hold on! We’ve got you!” Garrus yelled. He and EDI hurried down the ramp and hauled her back to safety. She looked down to her clone. There’s always a choice, Commander Shepard, and it matters that you choose to help.

“Take my hand,” Shepard said. She saw her clone glance up the walkway. Looking for Brooks, maybe. Whatever she saw made her face fall.

“And then what?” she snapped.

“And then you live. Show me what you’re made of, Shepard,” Shepard said. Not a sentence she’d ever expected to say, but apparently it was just that kind of day.

Her clone looked up at her sharply.

“You’ll regret this,” she said. “It’ll come back to bite you in the ass.”

“I regret a lot of things. Now take my damn hand.”

And she did.

They caught Brooks not long after. Cortez, who had apparently been engaged in some fancy flying to keep the ship from leaving, led her forward in handcuffs.

“Caught this one trying to leave,” he said. “Alliance is going to lock her up tight.”

“Shepard,” Brooks purred, “I’m sure we can put all this unpleasantness behind us.”

“I’m not in a particularly forgiving mood,” Shepard replied. Or General Shepard? We’ll deal with her. Her hands balled up into fists.

“But wasn’t it fun to have someone running around, being in awe of you? Admit it, you’re going to miss me.” Shepard could hear the gentle tap of Brooks' hands on her restraints. She leaned down, until she was level with Brooks’ eyes.

“You’re going to go along quietly with the Alliance, and you’re going to stay the hell away from me and the people I care about,” Shepard said, her voice forged in iron and steel

“Aww, is the great Commander Shepard pleading for her life?”

“I’m pleading for yours.” It was barely above a murmur. The tapping stopped.

“Very well,” Brooks said at last. “Till we meet again, Commander.”

“Rot in hell, Staff Analyst Maya Brooks,” Shepard suggested.

“Hey, maybe now you can actually have some shore leave,” Garrus said wryly as they exited the ship. Shepard snorted.

“I doubt it, but I suppose stranger things have happened,” she said.

“You can goddamn say that again,” Joker said fervently. Shepard gently clapped him on the shoulder.

“C’mon Joker, it could’ve been worse,” she said.

“How? How could it have been worse?”

“There could have been Collectors.”

“Hey, when the “Best Commanding Officer Awards” come up, don’t expect a nomination from me.”

“Noted. Can I interest you in some sushi?” The resentful silence was answer enough, and Shepard grinned wryly. As punishment, Joker refused to let her drive. He dropped her off at her apartment, but not before insisting that she needed to throw some kind of party.

“I’ll think about it,” she said.

“What was that? Couldn't hear you!” He revved the engine loudly to drown out her protests.

“Damn it, Joker!”

“And you owe me dinner! No knives this time!”

“No promises!” she shouted as he drove away.

Shepard didn’t do vacations. Fourteen years with the Alliance and she’d been on shore leave a handful of times, each more catastrophic than the last. The last time had been a few months before she’d died. She’d started two bar fights and had to be put on unofficial lockdown for a few days. The time before that they'd caught her sneaking back onto the ship. To be honest, having her evil clone try and steal the Normandy was just the natural progression of the Shepard Hates Vacations conundrum.

Still, it wasn’t every day that almost every person you’d ever cared about was kicking around the same place that you were. The Normandy was in drydock for another few days, and so Shepard made the most of it.

“Legion, you know I’ve never played a video game before,” she said wryly. She was sitting on one of her too-large couches as Legion fiddled with the television.

“Acknowledged. Based on previous experience, the adequate response to this statement is ‘git gud, scrub,’ although I have been unable to ascertain its exact meaning,” Legion replied.

“Uh huh. Got it. So then what are we playing?”

“Vega-Lieutenant suggests that you would enjoy playing Blasto: Hero of the Citadel.”

“Vega’s an asshole, don’t you listen to him.”

“Anatomically unlikely on both fronts.” The corners of Shepard’s mouth twitched up.

“What’s your favourite game, Legion?” she asked, trying a different tactic.

“I am banned from most games for suspected VI activity,” they explained.

“Tell you what, Tali and Kasumi are coming over to watch Fleet and Flotilla with me later, why don’t you join us?”

“Will there be popcorn?” they asked. Shepard’s brows wrinkled in confusion.

“You and Tali can't eat it…?”

“I understand it is integral to organic vid watching ceremonies.”

“Alright, we'll have popcorn.”

“Shepard, you know I can’t eat popcorn,” Tali complained. The four of them were settled on the largest of the couches. It stretched across half the room, but somehow everyone had ended up almost piled up on top of Shepard. She found that she didn’t really mind.

“I got some dextro-based snacks for you, Tali,” Shepard reassured her.

“Shepard-Commander?” Legion had the copy of Fleet and Flotilla in their hands and they were carefully examining it, holding it up to the light.

“Yes Legion?”

“What purpose does a relationship between two species serve? They cannot procreate,” Legion said. Shepard shared a loaded look with Tali and Kasumi.

“It’s about the romance,” Tali explained. “Forbidden, star-crossed love.” The last few words were wistful, almost dreamy.

“I do not understand,” Legion said. Shepard patted them on the shoulder.

“How about we watch the movie, and you can ask any questions you have when it’s over, okay?”

“Acknowledged.” Shepard flicked on the TV and the beginning credits began to roll.

“Shepard-Commander--”

“Shhh!” Kasumi hushed them.

“After the movie, Legion,” Shepard said. Legion nodded reluctantly. Kasumi and Tali both snuggled in on either side of Shepard, their heads resting on her shoulders. Maybe, she thought, vacations weren’t all bad.

The next day dawned bright and sunny, thanks to the artificial light on the Citadel. Shepard had gently deposited Tali and Kasumi in the guest bedrooms (how big did one apartment need to be??) and Legion had spent the small hours of the morning playing video games on her TV. After breakfast, she cheerfully sent them on their way after inviting each of them to the party that Joker had insisted she throw.

She hummed cheerfully to herself as she got dressed for the day. It was a relief, really, to be pulling on her regular black cargo pants and hoodie. Nice clothes were all well and good, but nothing could beat a half-dozen pockets, each weighed down with knives and caltrops. There were another dozen people that she needed to see. So many people that cared about her. It made her feel disconcertingly warm and fuzzy.

Shepard's first stop was at the hospital. Blessedly, she didn’t need to stay inside for long. She picked up Thane and took him to the café on the Presidium to buy him brunch. She’d never done brunch before.

“How have you been?” she asked.

“As well as I can be, during these difficult times,” Thane said quietly. His eyes were fixed on the gardens. “But Mordin believes I will make a full recovery.”

“You’ve seen Mordin?” she asked, sipping at her coffee.

“Ah, I had assumed that you would have heard. The salarian councilor was extremely grateful for the part I played in his rescue.”

“You mean saving his life almost single-handedly?” Shepard asked wryly. Thane rewarded her with a smile warmer than the artificial sun.

“Indeed. He asked that Mordin create a cure for Kepral’s Syndrome. So here I am, better than I’ve felt in years,” he explained.

“That’s great!” Shepard said encouragingly.

“I may even be fit to help with the war effort,” he said, and his eyes flicked to her. Shepard’s face immediately fell into a frown.

“Not going to happen,” she said firmly.

“It is unfair for me to remain here when so many are dying.”

“How many last missions can one person have?” she asked. “There was the hit on Nassana Dantius, and then the Omega 4, and then saving the councilor, and then stopping my clone--”

“You have made your point,” he said wryly. “But it doesn’t seem to have stopped you before.” She pursed her lips and studied his face. He did look better, she had to admit.

“You’re sure?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“We could always use military advisors. Strictly non combat, you understand?” she said. He considered her for a moment, before eventually nodding.

“Very well, if you think that would be best,” he said.

“I’ll let Hackett know,” she replied. And then, “It’s good to see you, Thane.”

“And you, Shepard. But you are on vacation. Shall we talk of more cheerful things?”

“Please,” she said fervently, and he chuckled, without coughing once.

It still wasn’t easy, going down to the refugee docks, but Mordin had asked her to meet him there. He had assembled a new clinic, replacing much of the equipment they’d been using in the refugee docking bay. He was bustling around, issuing instructions.

“Good to see some things never change, Mordin,” Shepard said wryly.

“Former system inefficient. Had to fix it. Other people always get it wrong.”

“Want a hand?” She leaned against the wall casually.

“Equally inefficient. Healing not one of your skills. Would like to talk, though.” She smiled ruefully. He wasn’t wrong. Once upon a time, he might’ve told her that he was never wrong.

“You got it. Shall we?” She led the way to a few miraculously empty chairs amidst the hustle and bustle of the docks. His posture was as impeccable as always as he remained sitting up straight on the uncomfortable bench.

“What have you been up to?” she asked. “Aside from curing Kepral’s Syndrome.”

“Spoken to Thane? Yes, cure is complete. Recommend minimal physical activity for time being. Non-combat.”

“It’ll be a cold day in hell before I clear him for combat.”

“Tactfully put,” he said. She grinned at him.

“So what else…?” she left the sentence hanging, waiting for him to continue.

“Some side-effects to genophage cure. Created an antidote, but salarian doctors still not trusted. Been here for past two weeks.” Two weeks, and he’d already rearranged the docks. Knowing Mordin, he’d done that on his first day here.

“And how’s Urdnot Bakara doing in her new role?” Shepard asked. At that, he did smile.

“Exceeds expectations. Stabilizing influence on Urdnot Wrex. I like her.”

“Me too,” Shepard said. “Didn’t you say something about retirement though?”

“Yes. Wanted to run tests on seashells. Beaches in short supply at present, due to Reaper presence. Had a question.”

“Only one?” she asked wryly.

“As statement suggests, yes,” he replied. Shepard snorted.

“Alright, shoot,” she said.

“Clinic here running smoothly. Talents could be better used elsewhere. Crucible project needs scientists?”

“They’d be happy to have you,” Shepard said immediately. Mordin smiled warmly. They chatted a bit more, before Mordin insisted that he needed to get back to work. Some things really didn’t change.

Later that evening, after she’d visited even more of her friends, Shepard finally had a moment alone. The events of the past few days caught up, slamming into her like a freight train. Her hands rested on the cool marble of the bathroom vanity as she studied herself intently in the mirror. Scars mapped every part of her face, lancing across her forehead, her cheeks, her chin, notching a mark in her right eyebrow. Undeniably hers, but unquestionably altered now.

She looked at herself in the mirror, but she saw someone else. It was disconcerting to realize that the DNA that ran through her body was the same as her clone’s. It was worse to realize that her clone had been so violent, so capricious. Was that who she was, deep down? Was that who she’d been meant to be?

Her long red hair tumbled around her face, limp and bedraggled from days without washing it. She held a piece between her fingers, feeling every strand. She’d always been hopelessly proud of her hair, and had let it grow impractically long. The only part of her that the world hadn’t mangled.

But as she looked at it, she saw her clone. It wasn’t hers anymore. The world had taken that from her, as it had taken so many things.

Or maybe it had given her something new. She went down to the kitchen and selected a pair of scissors, and then she returned to the bathroom mirror in her room. With steady hands, she cut her hair. As it fell away, her angular features stood out in sharp relief. The haircut wasn’t even by a long shot, but it was hers. ... Garrus didn’t quite know what to do with his hands. He’d been standing outside the door to the apartment building for ten minutes now, hemming and hawing about the best course of action. And if he didn’t figure it out soon, he was going to be late for their date.

There were a number of facts Garrus was sure of. One: he was in love with Shepard. Fairly obvious, he’d been in love with her for over a year now. Two: Shepard was in love with him. He still hadn’t fully wrapped his head around that one, but he sure as hell wasn’t complaining. Three: he had no idea what the fuck was going to happen when they went to that Cerberus base. He hoped with every fibre of his being that they’d make it out the other side alive and in one piece, but he didn’t know.

Which was why he was standing outside the entrance to Shepard’s building, the ring box held in a vice-like grip between his talons.

Don’t be a coward, Vakarian. If he didn’t leave now, he’d be late. He squared his shoulders, and marched into the building resolutely. The elevator ride up seemed to last for an eternity. He studied the ceiling tiles, the grey swirling pattern seeming to vanish into the distance. It took him a second to realize that the elevator wasn’t moving anymore. It took him another second to exit the elevator. Spirits only knew how he got to Shepard’s door. He knocked gently. If he was quiet enough, maybe she wouldn’t answer.

But she did. He scrambled to shove the box into one of the very few pockets that turian clothing allowed for.

“Hey,” she said softly. Her eyelashes were longer than usual, and there was a dark tint to her lips. She was wearing that damn suit again and his brain short-circuited. His mouth was suddenly too dry. Shit, he should say something.

“Hey.” Amazing job, Vakarian. What a way with words. She gave him a crooked half-smile.

“Come in?” she suggested. Relieved, he nodded and stepped through.

“Your, um,” he tried. He gestured vaguely to her face.

“My hair?” she asked.

“Yeah.” It barely fell past her ears now. Could humans just...do that? She rubbed at her neck self-consciously.

“It felt weird looking in the mirror and seeing her. So, I cut it. Maybe by the time it grows back it won’t feel as weird,” she explained. He nodded stiffly. Spirits, did he have to be so awkward right now? You’d think it’d be easier to propose to your best friend.

“Are you okay?” she asked softly. She was closer now, cinnamon and coffee in the air. There was a slight crease to her forehead.

“I love you,” he said suddenly. A warm smile spread across her face.

“Yes, we’ve established that,” she said. “But you look like you’ve seen a ghost. Did I do that bad a job cutting it?”

“No, no it’s not that,” he said hurriedly. “It’s...damn.”

“Now you’re making me worried, Garrus.” She pulled away. Shit.

“Dance with me?” he blurted. Her eyebrows shot up so high they reached her hairline.

“Am I having a stroke?” she asked incredulously. “Every third sentence you say is insulting my dancing.” He really didn’t have anything to say to that, so he raced over to the wall, keyed into her stereo system and started playing music, as well as dimming the lights. Tango music filled the apartment, and he held out a slightly shaking hand to her.

“Hell no,” she said.

“C’mon Shepard, do you trust me?” Spirits, did there really have to be pleading in his voice right now?

“Implicitly. I’m still not dancing with you.” Steeling himself to get elbowed in the guts, he grabbed her hand and tugged her close to him. She reluctantly let him lead her through a few beginning steps, but she stayed stiff as a board, completely unyielding.

“You’re going to pay for this later,” she muttered darkly.

“Promises, promises, Joan,” he said, and she rolled her eyes at him. “Which reminds me, is that not your real name?” She scowled at him. Damn, but she was hot when she was pissed.

“Am I answering questions or am I dancing? I sure as hell can’t do both.” She blocked his leg as he tried to dip her down. He rallied magnificently, playing it off as intentional. He continued to lead her through the dance.

Slowly, she started to get the hang of it, growing more confident in her movements. He ventured a spin, and to his very great delight she spun away from him and came tumbling back, a small smile gracing her lips.

As a general rule, turian marriages were fairly perfunctory affairs. Not a lot of room for romance in the hierarchy. But he wanted this to be special. Those images of the romantic comedies he’d watched flashed through his head. She deserved something good.

He’d practiced the steps enough that he could do them in his sleep by this point. She didn’t need to know that though. He didn’t think he’d ever live it down if she found out he’d been practicing in the main battery until late into the sleep cycle. He dipped her low, both of them breathing heavily. Her gently waving short hair framed her face like a halo.

“It’s Jeanne. My name’s Jeanne,” she murmured, so soft he almost didn’t catch it. He gently set her back on her feet and then sunk to one knee.

“Marry me, Jeanne Shepard?” he asked. She inhaled sharply. ... Her head was spinning as they danced across the room. She begrudgingly had to admit that she was enjoying herself. Garrus didn’t need to know that though.

Time slowed almost to a standstill as he dipped her down, his hand snugly wrapped around her waist. His bright blue eyes were fixed on her, and she felt her face flush.

“It’s Jeanne. My name’s Jeanne,” she murmured. A name she’d left behind long ago, a name that only Marie knew. A part of her that the clone hadn’t been able to mimic. Maybe it was time to reclaim it, that concrete reminder of her time on Earth, of who she’d once been.

Her feet touched the floor once more, and Garrus let go of her. She was reaching back out for him as he got down on one knee in front of her. Had she stepped on his foot…?

“Marry me, Jeanne Shepard?” he asked.

Oh. Oh.

She froze, and then a small laugh bubbled out of her.

“Well, that’s a little harsh,” he muttered. Still laughing, she helped him up. She rested a hand on either side of his face.

“Is that why you were so awkward earlier?” she asked.

“Listen, it’s a yes or no question.” His voice was so exasperated, so nervous.

“Of course I’ll marry you,” she said. A second later her feet left the ground as he picked her up and spun her around, kissing her soundly. He set her down and she wound her arms around his neck. “You have terrible timing.”

“Title of our autobiography,” he replied.

“True enough,” she chuckled. It was so warm, here in his arms. A safe harbour amidst the storm.

“You really trampled all over my moment,” he griped. “I had the ring all ready and everything.”

“I hate to tell you this, Vakarian, but EDI already gave me a ring.” A victory ring she’d called it, with metal from every Council homeworld. Including Earth. Shepard had almost cried.

“Do you want it or not?”

“I never said I didn’t,” she said. He rolled his eyes, but he tugged out a small box from his pocket.

She was definitely going to cry now. There was a scattering of stained glass inset in the band.

“It's made of an indestructible metal, so it won't get damaged in combat,” he explained quickly. She tugged him towards her and kissed him until they were both breathless. Home. This was home, here with him. She could die happy now. She could live even happier.

“So when’s the ceremony?” she whispered against his mouth.

“Got any plans this evening?”

“Yeah, there’s the party.”

“Perfect.”

#i look back on this now and i wonder how bioware wrote a whole clone arc and not once did someone say stop hitting yourself #wasted opportunity #anyways legion should've been in the citadel dlc and i live by that #mass effect #commander shepard #garrus vakarian #shakarian #me3 #my writing #oc: joan shepard

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getreadytosmash · 4 years

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may we get some single dad AU headcanons? [pleading face]

Yyyyeah sure, I dont see why not. Tho these are gonna be a lil short since the ask is for a ship meme and general smash headcanons are done on my main rather than my rp blog (which isn't to say I dONT do headcanons here but I always have a fear that someone's gonna try and start sending me x reader stuff here sksksk)

Skaar

Wakes you up by "earthquake" which is him literally using geokinetic powers.

Always does his kid's hair since he never had anyone to do his growing up.

Matching jackets dad.

Likes to go on long walks to teach his child about the world around them. It'd shatter him if his kid didn't want to go on nature walks with him anymore.

Watches performances that his kid does and claps every time.

Big on self defense and his kid can probably break your arm at three honestly.

Snack dad and by that I mean he carries snacks everywhere.

Rick

Dad that absolutely runs and plays on the equipment for his child.

Imagination games ALL the way and this man has been a dragon for far too long.

Tries to get his kid to learn the guitar or some form of instrument so they have that skill at least and also jamming buddy.

Wants matching jackets so bad UwU

Let's his baby stay up late and lots of junk food on weekends.

Still? Tries to be on top of stuff and has chore charts while also making sure his kid gets the sucky stuff in life out of the way before the good stuff.

Kid breaks the rules??? Its so much worse because Rick starts crying rather than hating mad. Oh no. Shit.

Red

Dilfs still got it.

Look. Red...fucked Betty up but also it has been shown that before his wife died, Red is soft and absolutely a push over for his kid when they're young.

Big man. Big coat. Small baby in baby hammock (what are they called???) Stapped to his chest. Safe and warm. I'm the babey.

A mess oh my god he's so tired. Falls asleep all the time but snaps awake as soon as he hears the slightest nosie.

Brags about his kid oh god. So much. You could talk about anything yet Red still turns it towards his child??? How??? Red, I was talking about how Leader murdered three more people jesus.

Will fight anyone over his child. He's banned from the school but he still screams at it.

Krusty Krab.

Hulk

What u came for.

Haha but funny enough I would HATE to be asked for Hulk and daughter/child prompts since wattlad and other sites are fucking filled with these stories.

I can't take it anymore.

But anyway.

He cries at anything really. First words, first steps, first picture for him, first tooth,,,he's a crier.

Packs you a lunch and lies about the fact that Red cooks it. Always leaves a little note in it because his mom used to do it for Bruce since she couldn't always go and take him to school and be seen by people.

Can't. Really ever tell his kid off. Kid,,,,probably takes it to their advantage as you know what goblins children are but it absolutely does cause some guilt when one learns that Hulk is terrified of going too far with punishments.

Fun trips with Uncle Joe to the..."door house???" Uncle Joe??? Why are you looking away and swearing under your breath??? Yes we know you can come back to life but why would dad kill you???

Big dad loves his naps with his kid and absolutely spent half of his days watching his kid sleep in wonder.

Samuel

PTA mom. I'd say more but I don't know what a pta is because I'm British.

Absorbed every child cartoon through osmosis and regretfully can quote spongebob at all times.

Actually I've mentioned that Samuel has plug sockets embedded into him for easy info transference so. Whose to say he can't be used as a portable Netflix.

Talks to his kid about science and long winded theories, waits for his kid to babble a little bit and chat back as it he got a full answer.

Science! Experiments!! Make a volcano!! See how pompeii would have burned!!! Now see how a real town reacts to it!!

Hypocrisy in telling his child the importance of healthy living while drinking coffee in his travel mug with sushi bobbing in it like shitty poor man's marshmallows in hot chocolate.

WILL sabotage other children for his superior child's achievement.

Keeps everything his kid gives him.

Taught himself and and every medical care trick for his child and if villainy doesn't work out then he can become a dentist or doctor at least.

Loser who's sleep deprived and ok so. As a kid I used to demand my parents slept in my shitty single baby bed until I fell asleep and long story short Samuel spends eight or nine years falling sleep in a small child's bed.

#ask #anonymous #headcanon #found in body but lost in mind (skaar)#movie star (rick)#one man army (red)#the loneliest there is (hulk)#he swims in a sea of regret (samuel)#single dads so no jen :(

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purplesurveys · 4 years

Text

781

Another quarantine survey for y’alls.

How are you coping? I enjoyed the lockdown in its first few weeks because back then it really felt like a nice break from how hectic January and February were. By now it just feels like it has overstayed its welcome and my anxiety is back to growing by the day, except this time it’s worse because I can’t actually go anywhere or do anything to get rid of it temporarily. Tl;dr I’m doing less and less well. How have things changed for you? School, mostly. The situation in the Philippines isn’t conducive to online learning, so we’ve had to cancel schooling altogether because it was the most humane option to make sure no student gets left behind. Some schools opted to mass-promote (read: pass) all their students, while the schools that selfishly chose to continue holding online classes face online backlash everyday.

On that note, my graduation ceremony is indefinitely postponed and Andrew and I have had to give up a lot of the usual procedures for thesis, like doing fieldwork or having a required number of respondents for our questionnaire. What are three positives to being Isolated or in Quarantine? I get to stay with Kimi all day, my dad cooks amazing food for us daily, and I have so much free time on my hands which I use to watch videos or movies. What are three negatives? I haven’t seen my friends in months, being ordered to stay at home still feels different than voluntarily staying at home, and I have so much free time on my hands which leaves me to overthink and be paranoid.

Have you taken on a new hobby? Not really. I wanted to get into cooking/baking, but my dad always wants to be in control of his kitchen so I’ve barely had any chance to help out. Have you kicked any bad habits? Drinking coffee everyday. I stopped when I noticed I was getting a headache every night, which was my original schedule for making a cup. Have you watched a lot more television or movies? I’ve watched more YouTube but I generally find it hard to start on new shows or movies so no, not really. I’ve always preferred rewatching my favorites. I did revisit Descendants of the Sun starting the other night though; I hadn’t gone back to it since December but I’m glad I did now because it’s such a good show(!!!!!) Have you been separated from someone you love? Tons of people that I love, from orgmates to close friends to best friends to my girlfriend. Discovered any new bands? Nah, I’ve stuck to my faves. With Hayley hyping up her first album for the last five months and finally releasing it a week ago, my eyes and ears were only on her lol Have you shopped more online? Nope, no money these days ha. Have you cooked more? I’ve tried helping my dad more like I mentioned but ugh, he’s so possessive in the kitchen. Have you baked more? Same thing. Have you learned to knit or sew? Nope. Did you end up in Isolation or Quarantine? Just quarantine. I never showed any symptoms and neither did my family, so we’ve all bee in quarantine from the very beginning. Did the stores all close? Save for groceries, they were all closed in the first few days/weeks. But through April, more and more businesses (mostly restaurants) started to come back and offer delivery or pickup services.

In the Philippines where the government has been hugely incompetent, they lifted the lockdown for nearly the entire country yesterday despite the number of cases not showing any signs of slowing down and DESPITE NO MASS TESTING BEING PUT IN PLACE SINCE MARCH. That means this whole quarantine has been fucking useless. And now that people have been crowding highways and malls again, a second wave is just waiting around the corner.

What kind of restrictions did your government put into place? It’s different per province but in my case, we had a ban on liquors, mass gatherings, and non-essential travel; an 8 PM-5 AM curfew; and checkpoints everywhere. For a brief time, homeowners in our village couldn’t even jog outside but I think they’ve loosened up on that rule now. Has this affected any travel, events or plans for you? Hasn’t it, for all of us? An year-end college party that my orgmates and I usually go to was obviously cancelled; I still don’t know what’s happening to our graduation; and plans to volunteer for an animal welfare NGO have been cut off. I was also supposed to go to Thailand and Vietnam this year, but I’ve had to forget about those plans. What is the first thing you will do when you get the chance? Drive up to Gabie, for sure. With all the crazy in the world, we forget how much we take for granted. Is there anything you feel you had taken for granted? Time with my loved ones. I’ve definitely thought about the times I declined on Angela’s offers to go out, or flaked on my blockmates, or opted to skip out on dinner with my orgmates so I could go home. Let's finish off with some nicer things! What is your favourite thing about life? I dunno if I’ve found a favorite thing about it yet. I find it pretty unfair for the most part. What is your favourite thing about nature? How peaceful it can be. Nature has always served me well when I’m in distress, and I will never forget the time I was in Sagada, and I had just gotten out of a breakup and was still reeling over my lolo’s death, and when I reached the top of a hill, I allowed myself to cry while in front of this view.

Favourite place in the world? Sagada, Baguio, and Palawan. Favourite animal? Dogs, if you don’t know me well enough already. Favourite Colour? I personally like pastel pink, and ~aesthetically~ I like black or white. Favourite Foods? My favorite food ever is burgers, but I also like sushi, chicken wings, and steak. Favourite Holiday destination? We don’t have an established destination. My family likes going to new places every time we have the chance to travel. Have you been on a cruise ship? Yes. Have you flown to a travel destination? Sure, several. Have you ever been on a bus or train to a holiday destination? I don’t remember anymore but we probably were. Ever been on a helicopter? I have not. Ever been in a submarine? Smaller chance of that happening cause there’s little opportunity for it, but it sounds like an awesome experience. Thoughts on Theme Parks? I will go there for the theme park food, but I’m fine with not going on any rides. Thoughts on Carnivals? Like a fair? They’re great fun, and I prefer them more than theme parks because they’re more lowkey. I also just go for the food hahahaha I don’t go on rides. Thoughts on Island Life? I’m technically living one because I live in a giant group of islands... but I wouldn’t want to live my whole life in just an island per se. I like being in the city, and I like living in a noisy environment where everyone and everything is busy. Ever taken a ferry to a destination? Eh, not really. We’ve taken smaller boats to get to certain island provinces, but not a ferry. What is the best thing about travelling? Learning new things, seeing new sights, meeting new people, getting to know new cultures.

Who would you like to travel with next time you go on a trip? I’d love to travel with Gabie. I’ve never done it with her before. Randoms.. Favourite television series on Stan? I’ve never heard of that. Favourite television series on Netflix? I don’t watch any shows produced by Netflix. My current favorite show to watch there is Descendants of the Sun, but my other favorites are there too, like Friends, Breaking Bad, and Brooklyn Nine-Nine. What movie are you keen to see? Right now, none of the upcoming ones, or at least the upcoming ones that were meant to be released by the summer. None of them seem appealing to me. Do you study or work or both? I study, but I’m so fucking close to the finish line. If you could have any career, what would it be? I’d love to be in PR. I’d still be in media which is my strong suit, but none of the journalism bullshit I’ve grown sick of in the last four years. Do you play Animal Crossing on Nintendo Switch? No, I’ve never really been a fan of the series so I’ve never felt the need to get the game. I’m happy with Mario Kart 8 haha. What gaming console do you like best? Either the Wii or PS2 as I had a lot of memories with them. Speaking of gaming, name your top 5 games? Pass. Have you ever been to a convention like Comic Con? Nope. Life gets tough, how do you cope? I take a nap, I go to a café somewhere for a few hours to be alone, I take a survey, or I drown myself in work to keep me preoccupied. Do you like housework? If I’m not forced to do it. Are you afraid of the dark? If the dark was meant to be scary, like if I was in a haunted house or if I’m in the woods in the middle of nowhere at midnight. Otherwise it doesn’t bother me. Do you have pets? Yeah, I have the best dog.

#survey #surveys

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itskimtaehyung · 6 years

Text

When the Stars Align (M)

Part of the Bangtan Assortment Collaboration

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader

Genre: FakeDating!AU with a hint of roommates (well actually more like apartment-mates but roommates is catchier), College!AU, fluff, angst

Word count: 10.5k

Content/Warnings: Mentions of heavy drinking, drug usage, strong language, but also cute things like adopting a dog together

Summary: With cuffing season approaching its end, you thought you had escaped the pressures of finding a boyfriend for the holidays. That is, until your friends set you up on a blind date that goes horribly wrong. This prompts you to enlist the help of your roommate, Yoongi, to fake a relationship so your friends will stop meddling in your love life. And it turns out Yoongi is a lot better at this romance thing than you originally thought...

Spending Valentine’s Day alone sucks.

Even though some people claim they don’t care about being single on one of the many holidays created by capitalist overlords solely to profit off the purest emotion we as humans can experience, everyone cares, just a little bit.

Valentine’s Day is just about the fakest holiday known to man. Does anyone even remember the original meaning behind it anymore? You’re just painfully reminded of how single you are. No one even gets the day off, so can it really be considered a holiday? Although you admit you still can’t help but fall for its charms: The cute little teddy bears that line the grocery store shelves; pink and red, heart-shaped balloons, boxes, and pretty much everything; and candy, half-priced the following day. Also, seeing all the couples being lovey-dovey with each other kind of makes you wish you had someone to cuddle for yourself.

You’ve never really been in a long-term relationship. (Unless you count that boy in high school, who helped you raise your very own sack of flour in health class, equipped with its own voice box to cry every couple of hours, and you two were together all day, every day, for two months straight. Let’s just say that was a bonding experience in more ways than one, and you did very well in health class that semester. The two of you dated for a year after that.)

The thing is, in this fast-paced, ever-changing world, you get bored easily. Some of your relationships don’t last more than a month, a day, or even past the first date.

There is only one person you want to spend Valentine’s Day with this year, and you know he absolutely does not feel the same. And probably never will.

Let’s take a little trip back to last December.

You and your group of friends decided to go out for sushi at your favorite all-you-can-eat sushi restaurant. All of you had just finished finals, so you went out to celebrate.

“Y/N! Are you going with anyone to the New Year Ball?” Jungkook asked loudly over the chatter in the restaurant.

The annual New Year Ball is a huge holiday party put on by your school’s Student Association at the end of each calendar year. The original purpose of this social was for frats, sororities, and clubs to recruit new members, but the event is now used as a way for burnt out college students to drink and blow off steam after final exams. The Student Association books out the entire student center (all three floors of it) for the party of the year. You have no idea why the school would allow such a function, let alone fund it, but you can’t complain. You’re a sucker for free food and alcohol.

“No, I was just gonna go with you guys,” you said before stuffing a too-big piece of tiger roll into your mouth.

“Uh uh,” Hoseok interjected. “We all have dates.”

Taehyung, who was seated to your right, reached across you to grab the soy sauce. “Seriously, you don’t have anyone to go with?”

You shook your head, still chewing.

“What about Kai?”

Kai was a guy you met on a dating app last semester who you ended up hooking up and then never seeing again. He was a terrible person, so arrogant and full of himself. You felt your personalities clash the second you two met. But he was also a beautiful god of a man and you weren’t going to let him slip away from you before banging one out with him. After that, you deleted the app and blocked his number.

You forced the colossal piece of sushi down your throat so that you could finally speak. “Nooooo.” You shook your head vigorously. “That ship has sailed. Plus he’s a Capricorn.”

They all gave you a puzzled look that said they needed more explanation.

“Hello? I’m an Aries?” You waved your hands around, gesturing toward yourself, nearly whacking Taehyung with your chopsticks. “Aries can’t stand Capricorns.”

Taehyung rolled his eyes. “Oh no, you didn’t ask him for his birth chart on the first date, did you?”

“No.” You shifted your gaze away from him and sipped your drink.

“Jesus.”

“Okay,” Seokjin chimed in with half an edamame pod hanging out of his mouth, “but you really need a boyfriend. You’re the only one of us that’s single.”

Namjoon motioned for Hoseok to pass him the wasabi and ginger. “Yeah, sometimes we want to invite you places but worry you’ll feel awkward because all of us are bringing our girlfriends.”

“That’s fine! I love hanging out with your girlfriends! Sometimes it’s too much testosterone when it’s just you guys.”

“No.” Namjoon shook his head. “We need to find you a boyfriend, too.”

“Joon, I don’t want–”

“How about Taeyong!” Jimin suggested.

“I don’t know, isn’t he kind of a fuckboy? I don’t want our Y/N to get hurt.”

“It’s just one date. Plus they’ll be with us. We won’t let anything bad happen.” Taehyung gave you a reassuring grin.

You huff. “Fine. Can you pass me the rainbow roll please?”

So, that New Year’s Eve, you got ready for the party as your roommate (flatmate, housemate, or apartment-mate are probably more accurate descriptions for what he is, since the two of you share an apartment/flat, but have separate rooms. However, for simplicity, let’s use “roommate” from now on) made dinner in the kitchen.

“Oooh, got a date tonight?” he teased, whisking together some eggs in a bowl as you were leaving.

“That’s none of your business,” you replied, shoving a gold hoop earring into your ear.

He eyed your outfit. “Don’t you think that dress is a little… I don’t know… Short?”

You resisted the urge to flip him off. “Shut the fuck up, you perv. I can wear whatever I want.”

Yoongi chuckled to himself. “Whatever.”

“Bye, Yoongi!”

“Don’t get too crazy out there, Y/N. You know how NYB can be.”

You simply rolled your eyes and left, shutting the door behind you without saying anything further.

You had to watch how much you drank that night, because your friends had declared you the designated driver for your date, which you’re still salty about. The six of them arrived shortly after you did, with Taeyong in tow. You had never met the boy before, but right off the bat you could see that he is undeniably handsome. Now you knew why people called him a fuckboy. With a face and body like that, you would use it to your advantage, too.

You greeted your friends in the lobby and before you could say anything further, Taeyong walked straight up to you.

“We’re going to find our girlfriends,” Jungkook informed you. And then the six of them left you alone with your date.

“Hi, I’m Taeyong,” he held his hand out, intending for you to shake it.

Wow, a gentleman. “Hi. Y/N.”

“I know, your friends have told me quite a bit about you.” He shot you a flirty smile.

Since you’re here, you might as well have some fun. “Well, that’s not fair, I hardly know anything about you.”

“Then we should spend the rest of the night getting to know each other, shouldn’t we?” He smirked, not breaking eye contact with you for a second.

Oh, he was good. A smooth talker with shiny brown eyes that could pull you in, hypnotize you, and leave you wanting to give him all of your attention.

“AY, TAEYONG!” The shout rang across the lobby of the Student Center, pulling you out of the little moment you just had with Taeyong. It was one of his frat brothers, marching over carrying three shot glasses. “Let’s do some shots, bro!”

“You know it!” Taeyong greeted his brother with a shoulder bump and took two of the shot glasses from him. He offered one of them to you.

Hesitantly, you took it, suddenly feeling a bit shy since you don’t really know either of these guys. Both of them took their shots and Taeyong looked toward you expectantly, waiting for you to take yours. You downed it quickly, and gave the tiny plastic cup back to Taeyong’s friend.

“Thanks, man.” He clapped his friend on the back.

“Yo, of course, bro. Listen, this really hot ABG was getting all up on me earlier, so I’m gonna go back over to her. I’ll catch you later, alright?”

“Yeah, I’ll see you later, man!” Taeyong waved his friend off. “Let’s get some more drinks!” Before you could say anything, he grabbed your hand and pulled you toward the drink table.

There was a lot of alcohol. More than enough for the entire student body to get absolutely wasted. The Student Association definitely did not skimp out this year. It looked as if they bought out the whole alcohol section of the nearest Costco.

“Oh shit!” Taeyong’s eyes lit up like a kid in a candy store. “We gon’ get turnt tonight!” He whooped.

“I have to drive you home later, so I can’t drink too much,” you reminded him.

“All good, Y/N,” he said while pouring himself some beer into a red plastic cup. “I’ll drink enough for the both of us.” He then added two shots of soju to his cup and chugged it quickly until it was all gone. You must have made a concerned face, because Taeyong placed a hand on your shoulder and said, “Don’t worry, I can handle my alc.”

For some reason, that didn’t reassure you too much.

“So how did you and your friends meet?” Taeyong had to shout over the music and the overall loudness of all the people around you.

You two were in one of the study rooms, which had been converted into a lounge for the party. Sofas lined the edges of the walls. You and Taeyong were now sitting in one of the more secluded ones in the corner behind some fake potted plants.

“I met Jungkook in elementary school, the rest of the guys were accumulated throughout high school and college.”

“Mhm.” He responded in a way that didn’t seem like he was actually listening. His hand was on your thigh, slowly inching its way upward. Maybe Yoongi was right, maybe this dress was a little too short.

“How did you meet them?” you asked.

Taeyong took a sip of his drink. “I know Jungkook, Jimin, and Hoseok from dance. The other three I just met tonight.” He was a little too close, and his breath smelled strongly of beer.

“Ahh, I see.” You were running out of small talk. You didn’t know what you could possibly talk about with him. From what you’ve gathered, he’s an economics major with enough units to graduate already, but he’s staying so that he doesn’t miss out on any of the parties his fraternity hosts. All he seems to do is drink and fuck, and tonight was no different.

As you were talking, his hand made its way even higher up your thigh, and at this point it was right at the hem of your dress. Taeyong teased the edge with his finger, looking into your eyes to gauge your reaction.

You shook your head and pushed his hand away. You couldn’t deny he was attractive, and you wouldn’t have minded sleeping with him, but this was not the time nor the place. “I’m not having sex with you on school property.”

“Come on, why not? I’ve done it before, it’s no big deal. Plus, I used to work here, so I know which closets we can get into without a key.” He winked at you.

You leaned in so that your lips were right next to his ear. “Save it for later.”

The boy smirked at you. “Fine.”

“TAEYOOOOOOOOOOONG,” you heard someone shout from across the room. You and Taeyong looked over to find an obnoxiously handsome guy in a letterman jacket holding a bottle of tequila. “SHOTS?!”

“HELL YEAH!” Taeyong leapt up from the sofa, throwing his plastic cup onto the floor, and bounded over to his frat brother.

You stayed behind and watched them from afar. A small crowd of dudebros gathered around them, holding out tiny plastic cups as letterman-jacket-guy filled them to the brim with alcohol. Taeyong took six shots, one with each of the guys, and bellowed triumphantly as soon as he downed the last one.

“BEER BONG?!” One of them shouted.

Taeyong hooted in agreement and followed his friends into the next room, completely overlooking your existence.

Where were your friends? You hadn’t seen them throughout the entire party, and you definitely were looking for them. In all honesty, you didn’t really like being alone with Taeyong. The two of you just didn’t click, and he’s very touchy when he’s drunk. Therefore, you were hoping that you would be able to find your friends and hang out with them as well, but you hadn’t seen them the whole night.

You took the elevator up to the third floor, where an actual, literal rave was taking place. The third floor was one big ballroom, and tonight, multicolored lights flashed and loud electronic music thumped as hundreds of sweaty, drunk college kids danced around. If your friends were up here, there would be no way for you to find them, so you gave up on the cause and took the elevator back down. You could still feel the pounding of the bass even after the elevator doors closed, and on your way down you wondered if that was safe, or if the vibrations from the music would compromise the strength of the cables and the elevator would come crashing down, inevitably leading to your tragic death. Yoongi would probably know.

With a ding! the elevator doors opened and you arrived back on the second floor. You were greeted with the sight of your date, a funnel connected to a tube which fed into his mouth, and one of his friends pouring an entire keg of beer down said funnel.

“CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!” The crowd around him chanted.

You sighed to yourself. Frat boys will be frat boys.

“It’s just one date. We won’t let anything bad happen.” You grumbled. That’s what your friends had said to you, but where were they now? Nowhere to be found. You tried texting your group chat with them, but none of them replied.

You went back to the secluded corner from earlier and sat down. You checked your phone again, and still nothing from your friends. You pouted and opened your messaging app.

You: how’s your night going?

You waited a few seconds and then felt the device vibrate in your hand.

Nerd: Shhhhh Halsey is performing You: smh you and your obsession with halsey Nerd: Not so much obsession as admiration Nerd: She’s on my list of top 5 people i want to work with one day You: haha in your dreams Nerd: It’ll happen just you wait Nerd: Also why are you messaging me? your date not going well?

“Y/N!!!!!!!!!” As if on cue Taeyong drunkenly stumbled over to you. He was so inebriated that he could barely walk. His friends had to support most of his weight.

“Oh my god,” you muttered.

When his friends let him go, he collapsed onto the floor, and was too drunk to pick himself up.

“What happened to being able to handle your alc?”

Taeyong struggled to lift his head up. “What are you talking about? I’m totally fine.” His words were badly slurred as he spoke, and you almost couldn’t understand him.

“Oh, jeez. Okay.” You stepped around him and bent over so that you could hoist him up by his armpits. “We need to get you home.”

“No! I’m totally fine!” When you got him to his feet he grabbed a shot glass from someone walking by and poured it into his mouth. The alcohol dribbled down his chin and the passerby shot him a look of annoyance because Taeyong just stole their drink.

You smacked Taeyong on the back of the head. “Stop drinking! You’re gonna kill yourself if you keep going.”

He stomped his foot like a child. “Noooooo!”

You began dragging him toward the elevator and he didn’t resist. When the elevator arrived, you pushed your date into it and pushed the button for the first floor. When the doors opened, you pulled Taeyong out and almost bumped into Jungkook.

“Hey, Y/N! Are you having fun?” He still hadn’t noticed how inebriated Taeyong was.

“I’m not in the mood for small talk right now, Jungkook. Where have you guys been?” You didn’t even try to hide your annoyance.

“Whoa,” Jungkook gasped, noticing your drunk friend for the first time. “What happened?”

“I don’t want to talk about it. Can you tell the rest of the guys that I’m taking Taeyong home now?” You pulled Taeyong toward the entrance.

“Okay. Are you coming back? It’s still pretty early.”

“I think I’ve had enough for one night. I’m never forgiving you guys for this. Goodnight, Jungkook.”

Jungkook waved you goodbye. “Okay, get home safe, Y/N.”

You opened the door to your apartment and saw Yoongi sitting on the couch, sipping on a bottle of beer, and watching the ball dropping ceremony on TV.

“You’re home early,” he remarked. “Didn’t like your date?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” You kicked off your shoes and walked right passed him and into your room, slamming the door shut behind you.

“Goodnight, I guess.” Yoongi shrugged and returned to watching his program.

You and your friends regrouped for brunch on the following Sunday morning. Even the barely noticeable smell of alcohol from the mimosas that Jin and Jimin ordered brought back nauseating memories of the party.

“I can’t believe you set me up with Taeyong, who I later found out is a Cancer???? Aries are the least compatible with Cancers!!!”

“I thought that was Capricorns,” Hoseok asserted before stuffing his face with french toast.

“Them too! Capricorns and Aries usually can’t stand each other but when you find two that are compatible it’s like–”

“Anyway,” Taehyung interrupted. “It wasn’t even his personality that you didn’t like, it was his lack of control.”

“It doesn’t matter!” You protested. “It was doomed from the start!”

“Whatever. Enough of this fictitious mumbo jumbo.” Taehyung waved his hand dismissively. “So, Taeyong was an utter failure. Who else do we know who’s single?” The question was directed at the other five boys at the table.

“I don’t want you setting me up with anymore of your friends,” you told them.

“Too bad, we need to find you a boyfriend. You can’t let one bad date stop you from going on others.”

They didn’t seem to be taking no for an answer. You needed to put a stop to this fast. But how? You didn’t have time to think. Before anyone could respond with their suggestions, you blurted out, “I’m dating Yoongi!”

Taehyung nearly choked on his strawberry. “What? Your roommate? Isn’t he a Pisces?”

“And?”

“Aries aren’t compatible with Pisces.”

“And how would you know that, Tae? Aren’t you the one who made fun of me for looking up Kai’s birth chart? Aren’t you the one who just – not even a minute ago – called it fictitious mumbo jumbo?”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Jungkook holds his hands out to stop everyone. “How did this happen?”

Jimin looked at you curiously. “Yeah, Y/N. You’ve been living with Yoongi for almost a year. Why now?”

“Uhhhh.” You wracked your brain for an explanation. How did you get together with Yoongi? You had to come up with an explanation that your friends would believe. “After I dropped off Taeyong the night of the New Year Ball, I came home crying.” Your palms started to sweat so you rubbed your hands together. “Yoongi was still awake watching the ball dropping ceremony, so he comforted me, and we ended up falling asleep on the couch together.”

“Did you fuck him?”

You kicked Seokjin under the table. “No! Jin, don’t be gross!”

“Owww! What? You’re the type to move pretty fast. I don’t know.” He bent down to rub his shin.

“Wait, hold up,” Jungkook cut in, ready to poke holes in your story. “Since when do you cry?”

“Hey! I cry! What are you talking about?”

“I don’t know. Sounds kind of fake. I’ve known you for more than ten years and I’ve only seen you cry once when your turtle died.”

“I can cry! I’m perfectly capable of crying!”

“If what you’re saying is true, then bring Yoongi with you the next time we get dinner together. Does Tuesday night work for everyone?”

All the boys nodded their heads.

Shit. You could feel your face getting hot. “Uhh, since the relationship is still pretty new, I’m not sure Yoongi would want to make it public just yet,” you lied.

“Come on, Y/N. We’ve known Yoongi for over a year, and we’ve known you for even longer. There’s no reason for you guys to hide from us.”

You groaned. “Fine, I’ll bring him. But don’t think I’ve forgiven you guys for setting me up with that trainwreck.”

“We’re sorry, Y/N. Really.”

How would you possibly explain this whole situation to your roommate? “Hey, uh, I told my friends we were dating so they wouldn’t set me up with another fuckboy, and now they want to do a septuple date.”???

You just know he would give you endless shit for this. For as long as you’ve known him, Yoongi has always been the sarcastic smartass who loves to poke fun at you.

From commenting on what you wear: “That’s not a shirt, Y/N.” (Also, remember your dress on New Year’s Eve?)

Giving you “helpful” hints when you try to fix something that broke: “You know that’s not going to work, right?”

To helping you with your math homework: “You get to ask me one question per month. After that I’m going to start charging you a fee.”

To some, his treatment toward you may seem harsh or mean. What a lot of people don’t understand is that you two are this way because you’re comfortable with each other. It’s not one-sided. You definitely roast Yoongi back. And it’s never serious. It’s a sibling type of banter.

Although the two of you are comfortable with each other, Yoongi also keeps to himself a lot, only sharing bits and pieces of him with you. He’s serious and stoic a lot of the time, and when he’s home, you mostly see him studying or watching TV. But you guess this is typical behavior of someone who’s studying to be a sound engineer.

He rarely tells you anything about his dating life. He had a girlfriend when he first moved in. You know this because he would bring her over every weekend, and you would hear them in his room. Every. Fucking. Weekend. But all of that stopped a couple of months ago. You know they broke up, but you don’t know why, or whose decision it was. Yoongi rarely talked about her, so you couldn’t tell if he actually liked her or not, or if it was just a sexual thing. Come to think of it, you couldn’t remember the last time he expressed feelings for anyone.

You turned toward your roommate, who sat next to you on the couch, reading one of his textbooks.

“Are you a sociopath?” You asked him, casually of course, as roommates do.

Without even looking up he replied with, “What in that tiny, little brain of yours prompted you to ask me such a thing?”

You smacked him with one of your throw pillows, which took Yoongi a considerable amount of convincing to let you buy because he thought they were “useless and a waste of money.”

“Because I’ve never seen you express emotion toward anything. Not even food.”

“Just because I don’t have an orgasm every time I eat pizza like you do, does not mean I’m a sociopath. For your information, I am perfectly capable of emotion. I just prefer to channel it into my music.”

You rolled your eyes. He’s so pretentious. “Then why aren’t you dating anyone?

He closed his textbook. “Jeez, Y/N. Not everything is about dating. I just got out of that messy relationship with Nayeon, remember?

“I thought you were just with her for sex? I didn’t know you actually liked her.”

“We were together for four fucking years, of course I liked her. You don’t just share such a big chunk of your life with someone and not feel something for them.”

“Oh, I didn’t know that you were together for that long. You never really told me much about her.”

He shrugged. “That’s because you entered my life during the last year of our relationship, and at that point we could already feel our relationship start to all apart.”

“She was here all the time, though.”

“Yeah, we thought seeing each other more would help fix us, but after a while it just got kind of tedious. So we called it off.”

This was good, this was the most information you’d gotten out of him in a while. “Do you still have feelings for her?”

“Of course, but it didn’t work out. It’s in the past now and I need to move on. My friends think that finding someone knew would help me get over it, but I need to take some time for myself.”

You nodded understandingly. “What were you like with her? You know, before all the bad stuff. I can’t imagine you being romantic in any sense of the word,” you jested.

“Hey! I was romantic! I took her to the beach and bought her flowers and stuff.”

“Wow. A real stunner, you are,” you said sarcastically

Yoongi rolled his eyes

“Hey, here’s a nutty idea.”

Your roommate raised an eyebrow at you. You thought long and hard about how you were going to do this. All the scenarios that played out in your head seemed utterly ridiculous, but you had to tell him somehow. This seemed like the least weird way to broach the subject with him.

“What if we like….. Pretended to date?” you asked hesitantly, wiping your sweaty palms onto your throw pillow. See? It’s not entirely useless.

“Why the fuck would we do that?”

“You know… Because my friends are trying to set me up with people… And from what you’ve said, your friends want you to start dating again, too.”

“Yeah, that’s what my friends want, but I don’t have to do what they want.”

“I’m just saying, you know… It might be beneficial for both of us.” You couldn’t look Yoongi in the eyes. Instead, your gaze shifted just about everywhere else: out the window, the TV, the ceiling.

Yoongi definitely noticed and could tell you were hiding something. His eyes narrowed at you. “What’s the real reason, Y/N.”

You shrugged and shook your head. “That is the real reason.”

“You’re a terrible liar.” His gaze grew more intense and you could feel his gaze burning holes into your face.

You sighed deeply. “Fine. So I… Uhh…”

Yoongi looked at you expectantly. Were you really going to tell him? You had to own up to your stupid decision. But it was exactly that: stupid.

“I may or may not have told my friends that you and I are dating.”

“Fucking hell, Y/N.” There wasn’t even any surprise in his voice. It was more like disappointment, exasperation. Like his exact thoughts were, typical Y/N, always up to the same shenanigans.

“I’m sorry! I panicked! I didn’t want to get setup with another Taeyong and you were the first person who came to mind! I just kind of blurted it out during brunch!”

Yoongi was silent for a long time, and you couldn’t tell what he was thinking. What would you do if he said no? What would you tell your friends?

After an eternity, he finally answered. “Fine”

You let out a sigh of relief. “Great. Our first date is tomorrow.”

“Fucking hell! Thanks for the warning!”

“See you then!” You jumped up from the couch and ran to your room before he could verbally abuse you further.

“Oh my god. Are you seriously wearing that on our first date?” Yoongi was standing in the doorway to his room as you eyed his outfit, which consisted of a white t-shirt underneath an unbuttoned red and cream plaid flannel, accompanied by ripped light wash jeans and old tennis shoes.

“Yeah? What’s wrong with this?” He gave you a mildly annoyed, confused look.

“Nothing’s wrong with it if you’re going to class. But this is dinner with my friends! Our debut as a couple! You can’t wear that!”

Yoongi sighed. “Fine. Then what do you suggest I wear.”

You huffed and pushed past him into his room, him following closely behind. You stared into his closet, eighty percent of which was completely black. Somehow, today, he managed to throw on the only non-black outfit he owned.

“No. No. No.” You grumbled as you sifted through his clothes.

“Why do I even need to dress nicely? I’ve already met all your friends. It’s not like I have to make a good first impression or anything.”

“Still! They would never believe I would date someone who’s dressed like that.”

“Hey! You know, you’re such a bitch sometimes.”

“I know.” You pulled out a red and black swirly patterned button down that was squeezed between two black sweaters. Ugh, there was no method of organization to this closet whatsoever. You caught a glimpse of the tag as you removed it from the closet. “Dior? Damn. I didn’t know you were the type to wear designer.”

Yoongi snatched it out of your hand protectively. “I’m not. Nayeon gave it to me.”

You gently took it back from him. “Okay, so it’s a touchy subject. I guess we’re not going with that one.” You put it back on to the clothing rack and pull out a long wool coat. “Valentino? You’re kidding me, right? Is there any nice stuff in here that you bought yourself?”

Yoongi shook his head.

“Now I know why she bought all of this stuff for you: so you don’t embarrass her everytime you two went out in public.” You sighed. “Well, I guess we’re just going to have to work with it.”

You pulled the red and black shirt back out and handed it and the coat to Yoongi.

“No peeking,” Yoongi warned. You nodded and turned around.

As he changed, you rifled through his closet for some suitable pants, so you wouldn’t accidentally catch a glimpse of your roommate shirtless. You found the pair of black ripped jeans that Yoongi always wore and decided to go with those.

“I don’t like this jacket,” Yoongi whined. You took it as a sign that it was safe to turn around.

The jacket reached almost to the floor, and his arms were tight against his sides, like he could barely move them. “You’re right. You look so stuffy. Like a little old man.”

“Hey! Listen up, bitch.” Yoongi squared his shoulders and took a couple of steps closer to you. “I may be older than you, but I’m also taller.” He prodded your shoulder threateningly with his finger.

“Not if I wear heels. Which is what I’m planning to do tonight.” You smirked at him.

“Fine, then I’ll wear my platform sneakers.”

“That still won’t be enough,” you teased.

He frowned and you chuckled at his reaction.

“I’m kidding. I’m not going to wear heels tonight. So, you still get to be taller than me.”

“Why does it feel like I’m receiving some sort of consolation prize?”

You rolled your eyes. “God, you’re so annoying.”

“Can I just go without the jacket? It’s not that cold outside.” Yoongi struggled to take off his coat so you walked up behind him and helped pull it down his shoulders.

“Okay, but if I get cold, what are you going to offer me for protection? How are you supposed to romantically give me your jacket if you don’t even have one?”

Yoongi groaned. “God, your ideas of romance are so antiquated.”

“And your ideas of romance are nonexistent!” You countered.

“Whatever,” he spat. “Just pick a jacket you want to wear then. It’s too warm out for me to wear one.”

You grudgingly agreed and grabbed a simple black blazer from the closet. The tag on the back said H&M.

“You guys! I’m so excited to try this place!” Taehyung ran up to where you and Yoongi waited outside the new omurice restaurant that opened up across town.

“I hope it’s good,” Yoongi said. “This would be the first omurice place here and I haven’t had decent omurice since I went to Kyoto a couple of years ago.”

“What is this? You? Min Yoongi? Getting excited about food?”

Yoongi shot you a warning look, which you ignored.

“If you miss it so much, why don’t you try making it yourself?”

“If you paid any attention to me at all, you would know I make it all the time, but it’s never the same.”

You frowned at him, offended that he would accuse you of not paying him any attention at home. “I totally pay attention to you!”

“Then you would know I made omurice just last Thursday!”

“Thursday is my busy day! I wasn’t home all day!”

“Okay!” Taehyung interrupted, clapping his hands together. He was probably afraid you two would either start throwing punches or angrily making out. Neither of which he wanted to witness at that moment. “Let’s get a table and wait for the others inside.”

“So did you enjoy it? Was it as good as the one you had in Kyoto?” You looped your arm around Yoongi’s and rested your chin on his shoulder.

Yoongi set his spoon down onto his now empty plate and wiped his mouth with a napkin. “It was pretty good.” He didn’t turn to face you because he didn’t want his face that close to yours. “But to be honest, nothing can top the one I ate in Kyoto.”

You moved your hand toward Yoongi’s, which was now placed limply on his thigh. He squirmed as you got too close to his crotch.

“Hold my hand, dumbass,” you whispered so that only he could hear. “And smile please.”

Yoongi turned his face toward you and gave you a soft smile so convincing, your heart fluttered for a split second before you came to your senses. He leisurely intertwined his fingers with yours.

“Thanks, you’re doing a great job,” you told him. Yoongi was never really one to seek out praise and validation, but you wanted him to know that he was doing a good job.

“Awww, you guys are so cute,” Hoseok cooed. “Y/N, I’m glad you’re finally dating someone again.”

“I don’t know why y’all are so damn concerned with my love life. It’s none of your fucking business.”

“It’s just that you haven’t been in a relationship in so long, this is quite interesting to watch.”

You twisted your face at Jungkook.

“So tell me more about how this whole thing happened.” Jungkook sat up attentively, putting his elbows up on the table and resting his face in his hands, wanting to hear every word you had to say.

“I already told you everything.”

“Okay, but I want to hear it from Yoongi’s perspective.” He nodded at your fake boyfriend.

“Shit,” you muttered and squeezed Yoongi’s hand. You raised an eyebrow at Yoongi, an expression that said, “You remember what I told you, right?”

Yoongi nodded. “Well, I don’t know what Y/N told you but, she came home really upset after the New Year Ball, thanks to you guys, and that’s when it kind of happened.”

“We’ve apologized so many times for that.” Jin rolled his eyes.

“And yet I still don’t accept your apologies,” you quipped.

You looked over at Jungkook to see that he was eyeing you warily. Your cheeks burned under his scrutiny. Did he still not believe you? Even after you and Yoongi’s blatant (albeit forced) displays of affection? Maybe because he knew neither of you were big fans of PDA. Or maybe because he’s known you for more than half your life and can tell when you’re lying 90% of the time.

Just when you’re about to crack under his gaze, the waiter comes over with the bill.

“So how are we going to do this?” Namjoon addressed everyone at the table.

“I don’t know. You’re the math major; you tell us,” Jimin retorted.

Yoongi grabbed his wallet from his back pocket with the hand that wasn’t holding yours. “I’ll pay for Y/N and me.”

“How noble,” Jungkook scoffed.

You leaned closer to Yoongi. “You don’t have to do that.”

“Of course, it’s our first date. Let me pay.”

You blushed. “Okay.”

Then the unexpected happened. Yoongi leaned in closer and gave you a quick peck on the tip of your nose.

You gaped at him momentarily and then immediately regained your composure. You turned around to see Hoseok and Jin looking at you fondly, Taehyung and Jimin making disgusted faces, Jungkook with his eyebrows raised in a look of surprise and horror, and Namjoon too distracted by figuring out how to split the bill.

Luckily, because of this stunt, Jungkook forgot about grilling Yoongi with the questions.

“Okay, so I’m going to cover it with my credit card and I’ll charge you guys on BuddyPay.” Namjoon announced, still totally oblivious to the kiss that just shocked the whole table.

Everyone else grumbled in agreement.

After the payment was sorted out, your friends trickled out of the restaurant while you and Yoongi stayed behind. The second they were gone, Yoongi dropped your hand as if you had the plague.

“God, your hand is so sweaty,” he griped, wiping his hand on his jeans.

“Sorry! I was nervous!”

“Aww. You get nervous around me?”

“It wasn’t because of you, asshole.” You slapped his arm. “It’s because I’m a terrible liar! I almost popped a blood vessel everytime one of them looked me in the eye. Especially Jungkook! I know he suspects something.”

Yoongi shrugged. “Well, if it means anything, I think you were pretty convincing.”

“Thanks. It doesn’t. Also why did you kiss me? We never agreed to any kissing.”

“Did that kiss really affect you that much?” Yoongi smirked and got up from his seat.

You huffed. “Fuck you, Yoongi!”

“A kiss is as far as I’m gonna go.”

You scowled and grabbed his jacket off the back of his chair, jogging a little to catch up to him.

By the time you caught up, he was waiting by the door for you. “How are we going to make it convincing if I never kiss you?” Yoongi rolled his eyes. “Also, if you pop a blood vessel, I’m not driving you to the hospital.”

You frowned. “Whatever. Let’s get out of here.”

“God, I’m so full,” you groaned once you got outside. “Can we walk around a bit?”

Yoongi nodded. “Sure. I’ve never been in this plaza. We can check out what they have.”

Out of the corner of your eye you notice a Critter Castle on the other side of the parking lot.

“Ooh! A pet store! Let’s go in!” You grabbed Yoongi by the wrist and hauled him across the parking lot.

Immediately when you walk in, Yoongi gravitated toward the puppies. There was a small one, with curly brown fur that he took a particular liking to.

“Hey there, little guy.” The puppy perked up and started hopping around in its pen. “You’re an excited one aren’t you? Hi.” He brought his hand up to the barrier, allowing the puppy to stick its nose through and lick Yoongi’s fingers.

It wasn’t often that you got to see Yoongi’s soft side. He was always either serious or sarcastic around you. But seeing him like this made the corner of your lips tug up and your heart feel warm.

What was this weird feeling? It couldn’t possibly be… Could it?

You shook off the weird feeling. “What’s its name?” You asked Yoongi.

Yoongi looked at the sign the hung on the edge of the play pen. “Holly.”

“So it’s a girl?”

“The sign says it’s a boy. Awww and he’s only two weeks old! So fucking tiny!”

You giggled. “Do you want him?”

“What?”

“Do you want to adopt Holly?”

“I– yes. But would you be okay with that?”

You nodded.

“Oh my god. Then yes, I want this dog more than anything.”

“Okay wait here, I’ll go talk to a worker.”

You returned a couple of minutes later to find Yoongi sitting on the floor, sticking his fingers in the holes of the pen and playing with the little puppy.

“So, I have some bad news.”

Yoongi sighed. “Y/N, always gotta ruin things.”

“Shut up! The worker said Holly is still too young to be adopted, but we can come back in a month and a half or so and if he’s still here we can adopt him.”

“Can we like, preemptively adopt him? Like put him on hold or something?”

“I asked and she said adoptions here don’t work that way since it’s not a shelter. We’re just going to have to come back later and hope for the best.”

You could see Yoongi’s face fall. “Okay.” He stood up. “It was nice knowing you, Holly. Hopefully we can meet again soon.”

“We’ll come back for you, Holly.”

The little dog yapped and hopped with joy, but when the two of you began walking away, he whined and put his head to the floor.

About a month passes and now it’s the present again. Pretending with Yoongi has gotten a lot easier and more comfortable. Your friends have invited you and Yoongi out to septuple dates with their girlfriends, and you genuinely have fun.

But having a month pass means it’s now February, and everyone knows what dreaded holiday comes in February.

You fling yourself onto the couch right next to where Yoongi is sitting. “So it’s Valentine’s Day next week.”

“And?”

“And are we going to do something special?”

Yoongi makes a disgusted face. You grimace at his grimace.

“Come on! Jungkook will definitely think something is up if we don’t post something cute on Instagram,” you whine.

For the last month, even when your friends didn’t invite you and Yoongi out to do stuff with them, you still took pictures of the two of you together to keep up appearances on social media. Yoongi was surprisingly good at it, knowing exactly how to pose or what caption to write to get a reaction out of people. Everyone seems to love sharing their relationship with the world, and Valentine’s Day is the prime time to do so, so it would definitely be odd if you and Yoongi didn’t do something sickeningly romantic for the special day.

“How about we just get one of those long candles and light it next to a rose and take a picture of that, then we can go back to living our lives like normal? Most of social media is fake anyway, so I don’t see why we actually have to do something special instead of just pretending we did.”

“Ooh! What if I get a bunch of rose petals and sprinkle them from the front door to your room? And then I caption it something like, ‘Came home from class and was greeted with this, *suggestive emoji*.’”

“No! No offense, but I don’t want to imply that I’m having sex with you.”

“We’re dating, it’s already implied.”

Yoongi’s face twists. “How long are we going to keep this up, anyway? I’m not going to fake date you forever.”

“Oh my god!” You exclaim, ignoring his question. “I’ve got it!”

“What?” Yoongi asks, his tone fearful.

“The pet store has discounted pet adoptions on Valentine’s Day.”

“Okay…”

“Let’s adopt Holly together!”

Yoongi’s eyes light up, but he tries to contain his excitement when he says, “So you’re serious about it? You really want to adopt a dog together?”

“Of course! I’ve always wanted a dog.”

Your roommate raises an eyebrow. “You never said anything.”

“Because I didn’t know you liked dogs.”

“So, you’re actually serious about this?” He asks again, just to be absolutely sure.

“Yes, Yoongi! I am 100% serious.”

He jumps up and gives you a big hug, squeezing you so hard that you almost can’t breathe.

That Valentine’s Day, you and Yoongi walk into your apartment with a new addition to your family. Yoongi insisted on holding him on the car ride home, and wouldn’t even let you hold him in the elevator ride up to the apartment. He is still cradling the small, brown puppy even after you’re inside, where it’s safe to let him run around.

“Hold right there,” you tell Yoongi after you both take your shoes off, with Yoongi struggling because he still will not let go of Holly the entire time. “Let me take a picture for Instagram.”

Yoongi holds up Holly so that he’s obscuring his face.

“No! We need to see your face!”

Yoongi sighs and lowers the little animal.

“Great, now kiss him.”

Yoongi puckers his lips and brings it closer to the curly brown fur.

“Perfect!” You snap the photo and post it to Instagram, captioning it, Father and his brand new son. Happy Valentine’s Day, babe *heart eye emoji*.“Cuuuute!” You exclaim.

“I know I am, but how’s Holly look?”

You give your fake boyfriend an exasperated look.

“I can’t believe we have a puppy now!” Squeal isn’t exactly the right word to describe how Yoongi says it, but it’s a pretty close description.

“I know right? We’re parents now.”

Yoongi plops himself on the floor and lies on his back. Holly hops around him, leaping across his legs and stomach. The feeling that you experienced in the pet store when Yoongi first met Holly returns, and you are filled with an inexplicable fondness. You get down on the floor and join them, and when you look at Yoongi, he smiles at you.

“Thank you, Y/N. I am so happy right now.”

“You’re welcome, Yoongi. I am too.”

A couple of weeks later, you come home after a rough shift at work. There was a huge dance contest going on at school tonight and afterwards a lot of the spectators flocked to the nearest boba shop– which happened to be the one you worked at. The line was long, the store was crowded and loud, and it didn’t help that your manager was yelling at all of the workers to put out drinks faster. At the end of the night, you had to turn some customers down so that you could close up shop, and a few of them weren’t too happy about that.

You’re exhausted when you step through your front door, your feet are sore and your muscles tense. When you enter, you see Yoongi sprawled on the couch as always, your nostrils assaulted with a pungent odor, quite a juxtaposition to the sickenly sweet smell of the boba shop.

You let out an exasperated sigh. “How many times have I told you not to smoke inside?”

“I wasn’t smoking.” Yoongi shifts his bloodshot eyes back and forth.

“I smelled weed the second I walked in the door.” You saunter over to the screen door that leads to the balcony and pull it open to let in some fresh air.

“That’s….. a skunk got in here.” His voice is mellow in a way that confirms your suspicions.

You cross your arms and give him an incredulous look. “A skunk?”

“Yeah.”

“We live on the third floor in the middle of the city. There are no skunks here,” you scoff. “Raccoons, I would believe, but not skunks.”

Yoongi rolls his eyes.

“At least share, will you?” You drop your aching body onto the couch next to him, resting most of your weight against Yoongi.

“Since when do you smoke?” He asks.

“I don’t usually. I get a really bad case of the munchies when I do. One time I smoked at Jungkook’s place and ended up eating six of those spicy cup noodles. My intestines were not happy afterward.”

Yoongi chuckles. He then pulls a blunt out of his pocket and lights it for you. You put it up to your lips and smoke it.

“Who’s smoking in the house now?” he teases.

You shake your head. “Where’s Holly?” You ask, ignoring his silly rhetorical question. You shift so that your head is now resting on his chest.

“He’s in my room sleeping. All he does is sleep.”

“Of course, he’s a puppy. He’s still growing.” You pass Yoongi the blunt and he takes a hit before passing it back to you.

“I love him so much.”

“I know you do.”

“He’s so small.” Yoongi remarks, except it comes out more like a whine.

“I know he is.”

He notices that you’re not being your characteristically talkative self, which leads him to suspect something is wrong. “Rough shift?”

“Mhm.” You nod with your head still resting on your roommate’s chest.

He slings his arm lazily across your shoulder. “Want to talk about it?”

You take another long drag from the blunt. “Nope,” you exhale.

Just as before, your cravings set in about thirty minutes later. You haven’t eaten since before your six hour shift, and you're now starving.

“Oh my god I want pancakes!!!!” You wail, springing up from your where your head rested on Yoongi’s lap. “I want pancakes so bad.” Your stomach grumbles at the thought of the fluffy stacks of cinnamon swirl pancakes that they serve at the Pancake Shack, lathered in thick, golden maple syrup, and smothered with butter.

“Y/N, it’s 2 in the morning. Everything is closed now.” Yoongi is always one to burst your bubble.

"But I want Pancake Shack!"

"Pancake Shack is closed."

“Make me pancakes!!!!!”

“I am not making you pancakes.”

“But I want pancakes!! Like so bad. I think I might die.”

“You may be the only person who gets more high-strung when you smoke.” Yoongi doesn't budge.

You pout at him.

Finally, he resigns. “Fine, I’ll make you pancakes.”

“Thanks, Yoongi.” You hug him and rest your head on his shoulder. The two of you lock eyes and your gaze lingers for longer than it should, and for a second, your heart stops. The intensity of the moment startles you and you pull away from him. “You know what. It’s late. Never mind, you don’t have to make me pancakes.”

“Y/N, I don’t mind if you really want me to.”

You shake your head. “No, it’s okay. I should go to bed. I have class in the morning.”

“Okay, if you say so.” Yoongi raises an eyebrow. You were just insisting that he make you pancakes. What made you change your mind so suddenly?

You get up off the couch and make your way to your room.

“Goodnight, Y/N,” he calls after you.

“Goodnight, Yoongi.”

Jungkook: hey jieun just broke up with me :’( can you come over?

You get the text late at night, a couple of days later. You’re already in your pajamas and getting ready for bed. But still, you don’t hesitate, because Jungkook is your best friend, and you could really use something to take your mind off of the forbidden feelings you’re starting to develop for Yoongi.

You: yeah i’ll be there in 10

“Hey.” Jungkook greets you with a sad smile when he opens the door to his apartment. His hair is a mess and he’s also wearing his pajamas.

You return the greeting and enter. “How are you holding up?” You ask him.

“Honestly, a lot better than I thought I’d be. I’m not as heartbroken as I expected.”

His place is a one bedroom studio apartment, so inside is just his bed, desk, kitchen, bathroom, and video game system. It’s cozy, and the two of you have had many heartfelt talks here. You used to come here whenever you wanted peace and quiet when you still had two other roommates at your old place.

“Why did you call me over? I thought you’d be a mess.” You kick off your shoes and jump onto the bed.

Jungkook shrugs as he sinks down next to you. “You’re my best friend. I just wanted someone to talk to.”

“Well, I’m here for you. Whatever you have to say. Whatever you want to talk about.”

He smiles at you. “Thanks, Y/N. How are you and Yoongi doing?”

“We’re alright.”

“I can tell he really likes you.”

You sigh, wondering if now is a good time to break the news to your best friend. What are you really waiting for? Why keep this going? Who does it benefit? “Jungkook, I have to tell you something.”

Jungkook raises an eyebrow.

You take a deep breath. “It’s fake. My entire relationship with Yoongi is fake. We were never actually dating.”

“I don’t believe that.” He shakes his head.

But it’s the truth.

Jungkook shakes his head again. “No. I know you both really care for each other. I can tell your feelings for each other are real.”

You remain silent. You and Yoongi have definitely grown closer in the last two months, especially after the two of you adopted Holly together, and you were having some feelings toward him, but you knew Yoongi didn’t feel the same. In the beginning, he made it explicitly clear that he had absolutely no romantic feelings toward you. Just last year, you two had The Talk about not being attracted to each other.

“You guys even adopted a dog together for god’s sake. You don’t just do that with anyone.”

Still you say nothing.

“That was real right? That dog is yours?”

You nod.

Jungkook runs his fingers through his hair. “I’m not going to brag, but I knew it was fake at the beginning, especially because it lasted more than a week, which is some sort of record for you.”

“Shut up.”

“But as time went on, I could tell you were growing to like each other, genuinely.”

You shake your head, still refusing to believe it. “He’s a Pisces, though. Aries aren’t good with Pisces.”

“Stop making excuses, Y/N. I think you should talk to him. Sort this out.”

"I may have feelings for him, but I'm positive he doesn't feel the same way about me." You grab one of Jungkook’s pillows and fiddle with a loose thread on the pillow case.

Jungkook sees what you’re doing and takes the pillow away from you, setting it down on the side of the bed that you can’t reach. "If you think that way, then you should end it. It's not fair for the both of you.”

You sigh deeply, knowing he’s right. “I thought we were here to talk about you.”

“We were. But I feel much better now, having my best friend with me.”

You give him a half hearted smile.

“I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you, too, Jungkook.”

He holds out his arms. “Come here.”

You crawl forward and give him a firm hug.

“Can I, like, at least practice in front of you? Because I have absolutely no idea how to approach this.”

“Of course. Anything you need, I'm here for you.”

You squeeze him a bit tighter. "Thank you, Jungkook."

The next night, you pace back and forth in your room, trying to figure out how you're going to bring it up to Yoongi. He's right on the other side of the door, on the couch, watching TV and petting Holly, as usual, and can probably hear you burning a hole in the carpet. You take a deep breath. It’s time. But what if he’s not watching TV anymore? What if he’s studying or doing homework? You shuffle over to your door, slowly cracking it open and peeking your head out.

He’s still exactly where he was when you got home earlier. Doesn’t he have things to do? Why is he always watching TV? You then realize that you just want an excuse for him to be too busy to talk, so you can avoid this conversation and postpone it for another time. Another time when you’re more prepared, when you’re older, and therefore wiser. But for some reason all the signs (really, just Jungkook) are telling you to do it now, providing you with the perfect opportunity, the perfect setup for you to break up with your fake boyfriend. Nothing like the present, right? You just gotta do it. Rip it off like a bandaid.

Apprehensively, you tiptoe out of your room. "Hey, Yoongi, I need to talk to you."

He turns his head toward you. “What’s up? What’s wrong?” His brows furrow when he notices your unease.

You walk over to the couch and sit down next to him. "Nothing’s really wrong, per se. But we do need to end this fake relationship."

“Well, it’s about time.” He sighs and picks up Holly from his lap and places him onto the floor. “We’ve been going at this for what? Almost two months?”

Your heart drops at his words, feeling like it's shattered into a million pieces. You know he didn’t feel the same way about you, but hearing him confirm it hurts a lot worse than you imagined. So, it really was all just pretend to him? You had been so stupid to let yourself fall for him, and now you have to deal with the consequences.

“I– Wow– has it really been that long?” You force a chuckle, trying your best to hide your disappointment.

“Yeah. It’s about time we start dating for real, right?”

“W– what?” You stutter, completely caught off guard. Out of all the scenarios you thought of, this was not one of them.

“Y/N, don’t tell me you don’t think there’s something between us.”

“I– I do. I just didn’t think you did.”

“Of course I did! Are you really that dense? I wouldn’t have volunteered to make you pancakes at two in the fucking morning if I didn’t.”

You breathe out a sigh of relief. “Thank you. You just saved me from a really difficult talk.”

“Were you going to break up with me?”

You nod.

“Did you plan out everything your were going to say? Rehearse it in front of the mirror and everything?”

“No.” You cross your arms in defiance. “I rehearsed it in front of Jungkook.”

Yoongi chuckles and it makes your heart warm. “You got Jungkook to help you?”

“Yeah. Don’t make fun of me.” You pout. “I’m not good at this type of thing.”

“You’ve broken up with plenty of guys before, though.”

“But none that I’ve cared about as much as you.”

Yoongi takes both your hands in his. "Don't worry. You don’t have to."

You feel as if a tremendous weight has been lifted off your chest. "So what now? What's different?"

Yoongi uses his hand to brush aside a stray chunk of hair that had fallen from your ponytail, and then delicately caresses your cheek. "Well, this, for one." He leans in and places a firm kiss on your lips. Yoongi had given you soft kisses on your cheeks and nose when the two of you were just pretending, and for a long time you wondered what it would be like to kiss him for real. Now you know, and it's so much better than you ever imagined.

You know how in those cliche movies, when a couple shares their first kiss, fireworks explode in the background and everyone cheers? That's what it feels like. It feels like every bad date, every disappointing hookup has led to you finding Yoongi. It's like the spring finally arriving and the clouds getting clear after a long, cold winter. Jungkook's right. Who cares if you're an Aries and he's a Pisces? The stars aligned in just the right place for you to find each other.

"And this," Yoongi breathes, softly brushing his hand against your breast and running it along your body until it reaches your thigh, all while still kissing you. "And this."

You squeal as Yoongi's hand moves under your legs and he scoops you up as he stands. You wrap your arms tightly around him, giggling and burying your face in the crook of his neck while he carries you bridal-style to his room.

Holly follows closely by his feet, wanting to follow his parents and see what they're up to. Once Yoongi gets to the threshold of his room, he gently shoos the little puppy away with his foot. "Not now, Holly. It's special mommy and daddy time." He then enters the room, letting the door close behind him.

Epilogue:

“I can’t believe we adopted a dog together. That’s so incredibly stupid. What if we break up?” You slip on your boots and put a harness around Holly, getting ready to take him out for your daily walk.

Yoongi slings on his jacket and shakes his head. “Y/N. We’re literally getting married next week. I don’t think we’re breaking up any time soon.”

“But you admit that it’s a possibility!”

“I never said that.”

You peek outside the window to see that it’s still drizzling a little bit and grab Holly’s raincoat off the coat rack and put it on him. “There we go, baby.” You then attach Holly’s leash to his harness as Yoongi grabs an umbrella. “Damn, I can’t believe I still like you. I can’t believe you still like me!”

“Hey! How many times do I have to tell you! I have feelings!”

“Yeah, horny.”

“You’re insufferable.”

You step forward to fix the collar of Yoongi’s raincoat. “No, I’m not.”

“You’re right. You’re very right. I love you very much and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.” He leans in to kiss you on the nose.

You react by scrunching up your face. “Damn, that’s a long time.”

“You’re not having second thoughts, are you? Do you want to call off the wedding?”

“Of course not! We’ve been planning this for over a year! I definitely still want to marry you!”

“Okay, but I think I want to marry you more.”

“Will you stop that?”

“Stop what? Wanting to marry you? Uhhh… Not possible.”

You get on your tiptoes so that you could kiss him, and while you’re kissing him, Holly starts barking and pawing at your boots. “Okay! Okay, Holly! We’ll take you on your walk now!”

You give Yoongi one last kiss on the lips before the three of you set out into the rain.

A/N: Yoongi and reader’s dynamic is pretty much how one of my old housemates and I used to treat each other (except we never dated, however, we did adopt a fish together). Also this story in no way reflects my opinions on astrology. It’s all light-hearted I promise.

#bts fanfic #btswriters #networkbangtan #sonyeondannet #agustdnet #armiesnet #my writing #mine #collab #surprise! she's here early!

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