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#something else inside of me asks 'isnt it your fault that you feel this way?'
caffeinatedopossum · 1 year
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My constant exposure to the internet and social media is most definitely making me worse but I really have nothing else to do. Like I'm disabled and have no money. I can't even buy a book to read, I would have to read it online
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ensn4r3d-d0ve · 1 year
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Can you do Leon comforting Reader bcs of a Bad haicut? (Sry english isnt my first language, and my Hair looks so shit rn its making me cry)
uhmm… Yes I will because I feel so fucking bad for you and I hope you recover from your shitty haircut? 💋💋
This fic is really short, but I tried to do you some justice and leon fixes up your hair for you <3
I finished this so fic fast like holy shit-
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This day was absolutely horrible.
The hairstylist fucked your hair up and your forced to go home to your boyfriend looking like shit without a way to fix it, but surely it isn’t that bad right?
I mean…it really was BAD. everybody stared at you and laughed and whispered and pointed, some people even started to pity you. The worst part about this whole mess is the fact you didn't know why they were doing that in the first place.
It just wasn't normal for them to be so mean towards you. You knew how to handle people being mean to you but this was something else entirely. You weren't used to these types of things.
You walked down the streets with your head down staring at your feet, trying to hide from everybody's eyes. You tried hard not to let their stares bother you too much, because they weren't your fault. You could do nothing wrong. You'd been here before so many times, after all, it probably wasn't as bad now that you thought back on it. Right?
But, oh god, did it suck. Every time someone looked at you they laughed and snickered. And, oh god…when you thought this could get worse you run into your boyfriend on the way back down the street to your house as he is getting the mail. He doesn't see you and doesn't notice you.
Your eyes go wide as you try to get away from him without drawing attention to yourself but unfortunately, you're walking too fast and he catches up with you quickly.
His arms are crossed over his chest. His expression is unreadable as usual. You look at him nervously for a second before you can feel a hand land on your arm. "Y/N," Leon says softly. You wince internally.
"We need to talk." That's when he notices your hair. "What happened to your hair?" His voice sounds kind of angry and hurt.
Oh my God…he's going to hate me or dislike it right?.
He always does. You swallow thickly as you glance to the side nervously. "Did your hairdresser do that?" He asks, sounding annoyed. You nod slowly.
He looks surprised for a moment, maybe even a little hurt. “Lets get you home, I had a feeling that something has been making me feel uneasy today.” You don’t say anything, you don’t want to argue. He pulls you along behind him, his long black coat swishing against the cement as he walks.
As you both walk inside he guides you to take a seat and he tries his beat to comfort you. “Do you wanna tell me what was bothering you?” He asks quietly. You shrug in response, still staring at your hands folded in your lap.
He sighs heavily. “Okay. If you want to keep quiet then we will.” That makes you look up and stare at him in surprise.
“Just let me make you atleast feel better than before.” Leon takes some scissors and a brush and touched your hair up with gentle motions. He hummed in approval when he finally finished and went to grab some paper and a pencil from the kitchen. “I have no idea why you haven’t had an idea to ask me to cut your hair before, it might help make you feel more comfortable rather than letting some hairstylist make it shitty.”
He pauses for a second before starting to gaze into your eyes through the mirror, which made you feel as if he was eye fucking you. Your cheeks flushed pink. “It looks fine. Better than fine even. Just keep it that way. You’re beautiful.” Your heart jumped at how sweet he said those words.
His fingers brushed across your cheek gently before returning to cutting your bangs into a short style. You closed your eyes as he gently pulled you in for a small kiss, then a few minutes later he was done fixing your hair. “Thank you,” you mumbled as he set the scissors and the paper aside.
“You’re welcome. I hope that helped a bit,” Leon replied, placing a kiss on your forehead as he got up. You felt butterflies erupt in your stomach and you smiled softly.
Your boyfriend always managed to make your mood improve somehow even if it wasn’t necessarily intentional. He gave off an aura that seemed to make everything okay again, even the most difficult days. Even just talking about you made him happier than anything and he was very good at that sort of thing.
You couldn’t believe you found such amazing boyfriend.
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vampire-bite · 1 year
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“Who did this to you” with Sam and Bright Eyes?
hi so fun fact i was not here for the frederick videos, i never saw them. but i love found family so i read through some recaps and. did my best. idk man, this isnt great but its self indulgent!
i guess im a bright eyes apologist now? i tried to make this pretty neutral cause I havent seen the videos but. i guess im an apologist
i also guess the end of this is open? sam and bright are not completely good with each other by the end of this theyve just started to open up to the idea that theyre more similar than they thought
if you prefer reading on AO3, its over here
@badthingshappenbingo
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By the time Bright decided to show back up, the sun had already started to rise, enough that—although Frederick had only agreed to rest if he continued to look—Sam could do little more than stand on his porch and watch the woods around him for any sight of the unruly newborn vampire.
They'd stormed off the previous night, and despite the undeniable tension between the two, Frederick had nearly driven himself mad looking for them all day. He still cared about them, and probably always would, no matter what they were like. Sam really couldn't bring himself to be surprised, but he also knew that it wasn't safe for Bright to be out on their own when they were still in the bloodlust.
It had been over twenty-four hours since they’d disappeared, and they were bound to need blood soon. From the less-than-close eye he’d kept on them, he knew they left more time than ideal between feedings, but he hadn’t said anything. 
He recognized the actions, remembered doing them himself, but this was different. The situation was their own fault, and they should have known better.
The light from the rising sun filtered through the trees, meaning they would’ve had no real way of getting back even if they wanted to. He was getting ready to call Vincent and ask if he’d seen anything, when a figure broke through the treeline and practically threw themselves onto the porch to get out of the sun. 
Bright was panting heavily, had burns running down their arms and legs, and, most concerningly, was drenched in blood.
Sam felt his stomach drop at the sight of them, soaked in blood, and he wondered how much of a mess they’d left in their wake. He stared at them, feeling anger bubble up inside of him, and reached forward to grab their arm. “Where have you been? What the hell did you do?”
They just glared at him, yanking their arm away and scowling; it just made his annoyance rise. He wasn’t the one who had run off to god–only-knew where, likely leaving a trail of destruction.
“I didn’t do anything.”
“You ran off. Do you know how worried Frederick was?”
Their expression darkened in response, and they snarled, something dangerous crossing their features. “Fuck that,” They cursed, trying to brush past him in a swift movement only for him to grab onto their arm hard enough that they yelped when his hand closed around a burn. 
He couldn’t even bring himself to feel bad, caught up in the anger he felt. “You’ve already been told that you can’t just run off on your own, and this is exactly why.”
“What does it matter? I came back. I’m still alive.” They tried to wrench their arm free from his grasp, and just glared at him when they failed, “I’m not listening to another lecture.”
His voice was darker when he spoke next, angry and harsh, “What. Did. You. Do?”
For a moment, he thought they weren’t going to respond at all, from the way they bared their teeth—fangs out—and how he could practically see their walls going further up. There was a long moment of silence.
Then, before he could say anything else, their bitter voice muttered, “Why don’t you just kill me already, since that’s clearly what you want?”
The words made his blood go cold. They were just trying to provoke a reaction, he knew it, but the words were still disturbing; as much as he didn’t want to dignify it with a response, he couldn’t help himself.
“You think that?”
They paused, eyeing him cautiously for a moment before they nodded and gave him a look like it was obvious. 
“I know it. I can see it in the way you act,” They said, no doubt or even anger left in their tone, just resignation, and it gave him pause, “You want to hit me.”
He reeled back, letting go of their arm and staring at them in horror. Of course he didn’t want that. It was hard to tell whether they were being serious or just trying to provoke him further, but their tone made him lean towards the latter. The words were chilling.
Their eyes were fixed on the ground, so he reached forward to put a hand on their shoulder to try to get their attention.
Once they saw his hand coming towards them, they flinched away, making him freeze.
Suddenly—with all the anger and resentment stripped away from them, without Frederick’s pain and his own self-hatred weighing down on him—it seemed like he was seeing, really seeing, them for the first time. And the person standing in front of him wasn’t the bitter, wrathful newborn who had bitten off more than they could chew. No, in front of him, their body trembling slightly, was a frightened kid.
“Shit,” He muttered, watching them shrink further away from him, “Kid—”
“I’m not a kid! Stop treating me like one!” They snapped, the venom in their voice falling short of hiding the hurt and fear behind it. Sam wondered whether that pain had always been there; if he’d just missed it because they’d done better at concealing it.
He remembered how he’d acted as a newborn, the anger that filled every moment, the pain and hate he’d felt. And suddenly, their actions seemed like more than just a bad attitude. 
“I’m not going to hurt you.” Their eyes barely flickered up to him, a scowl forming at the words. “You know that, right?” He spoke slowly, forcing himself to seem much calmer than he felt despite the guilt starting to build.
He stepped towards them, and they responded by continuing to back away, only stopping when they had almost gotten into the sun. They glanced back, clearly calculating, and then took another step back—apparently unconcerned about getting burned again as they got ready to bolt.
Rushing forward, Sam grabbed their arm and pulled them back against his chest, arms wrapped tightly around them to keep them from running.
They fought against his hold, screaming at and fighting against him, but he didn’t budge.
Finally, when they found themselves completely unable to get free, their body went limp, legs giving way beneath them. And then they were crying, sobbing loudly and openly, and all he could do was hold them up as they broke apart.
All the fight had left them; they buried their face into his shoulder as they shook more intensely than before, clinging to him in a way that left him clueless of what to do. Something inside of him twisted violently at the sight of them so torn apart.
“I’m sorry…” They sobbed, tears soaking into the sleeve of his jacket, “It’s all my fault. You’re right to hate me.”
His heart twisted further at the words. The look they gave him, hopeless with guilt, made him feel sick. So he just held them tighter, resting his chin on top of their head and holding them to try to give them any sense of security he could.
Bright continued to shake in his arms, though their sobbing died down into whimpers that sounded like they were in pain; and Sam realized with even more clarity that they were just a kid. A kid who was scared, and angry, and resentful of having their life taken from them. A kid who was hurting just as deeply as he had been. As he still was. 
A kid who he had been failing since they were turned.
And, most pressingly now, a kid who was hyperventilating, breath coming out in short, rough bursts of air.
"It’s okay, kid. I’ve gotcha. Just—” Both blood and tears were soaking his clothes, he felt horribly out of his depth. His voice dropped to a quiet murmur as he tried to be soothing, “You've gotta breathe for me.”
For all of their fronting, when they were like this, he could see how utterly drained they were. He knew they hadn’t been feeding as often as they needed to be, and he was willing to bet they hadn’t been sleeping. They might’ve not needed to, technically speaking, but they were so clearly exhausted that he knew it’d do them good. 
They shook their head, wheezing as they grabbed at the back of Sam’s jacket desperately. He gently rubbed their back to try to get them calm, feeling obligated to at least do that much. “With me. In….And out…”
Their breathing began to even out slowly, still coming out in shaky hiccups but being more steady than the gasping they’d been doing before.
“Why are you being so nice to me?” They just sounded defeated, frame still trembling. “I don’t deserve it. And I don’t want you to pity me.”
He’d be the first to admit that he hadn’t kept as close of an eye on them.
It was just easier, letting them handle themselves with the bitterness they showed everyone. Besides, with the way they isolated themselves, the pain and hurt they caused Frederick couldn’t slip through their bond. But he was beginning to realize that it was likely a mistake.
He shook his head and frowned. “I ain’t pitying you. I don’t hate you, either.”
Really, when it came down to it, he didn’t. Attitude or not, he couldn’t bring himself to truly hate them.  And they were his responsibility.
“And you don’t need to deserve anything. I’m not doing anything except keeping you from having a damn panic attack.”
They didn’t seem convinced. 
Trembling fingers pulled up the bottom of their shirt, revealing several wounds on their torso and stomach, including one that looked like they’d been stabbed and another that looked like the imprint of teeth.
“The blood is mine,” They whispered, voice filled with shame and so quiet he could barely hear it even with his enhanced hearing, “Mostly, at least.”
Oh. Oh.
Suddenly, his earlier harshness seemed cruel. He’d assumed the worst of them. It wasn’t an unreasonable assumption, exactly, but he didn’t know if he’d have jumped so immediately if it had been anyone else.
They looked up at him, expression unreadable, and shrugged. "Someone attacked me."
Nonchalant. Stoic. It was like this was a regular occurrence, like they’d grown used to it.
“Who? Who did this to you?”
They frowned, looking hesitant to answer him.
“Who did this to you?” He pressed, trying to be at least slightly gentle with his pushing at them so that they wouldn’t bolt or panic again despite the force in his voice.
A protective feeling was flaring up in him, something he didn't expect to feel towards the sour teenager. And yet, he couldn't deny the urge to hold them close, make them feel safe; and he knew he had a responsibility towards them in this situation, no matter how either of them felt about it.
Even as he tried to be gentle, they still seemed panicked, shaking against him. He sighed softly, shaking his head and gently placing a hand on the stab wound on their stomach to start healing it. 
“I don’t know how much I’ll be able to do. But I can at least get the bleeding to stop,” He said, voice staying as soft as he could manage, “Talk to me, kid. If someone hurt you…”
They pushed at his chest, scowling once more, “What? You’ll pat them on the back?”
He rolled his eyes in response to their reply, but paused after a moment, a bit of guilt returning as he realized they were being completely genuine. It was almost hurtful that they thought so low of him. But he supposed he hadn’t given them much of a reason to think otherwise.
Keeping his hands firmly against them, one still healing them while the other rubbed soothing circles against their back, he watched them glance down at his hand and go to speak, only to just bite their lip and drop their gaze to the ground.
“Bright….” 
Their breath stuttered out, uneven as they seemed to melt into the gentle touch. Yet, despite how it was clearly easing them, they pulled away and sat on the edge of the porch. Their legs hung down, dangerously close to the sunlight, for only a moment before they pulled up their legs to their chest. 
A long silence fell between the two before they finally spoke.
“Don’t,” They started, a small whimper leaving them as they pressed their forehead to their knees, “Don’t do that.”
He reached his free hand out, hesitating before placing it against their jaw; he began rubbing his thumb along their jawline as they took another deep, shuddering breath.  They rubbed at their eyes as tears began to form again, and he swallowed thickly. 
Pulling the hand he was using to heal away from them, he looked over the—admittedly messily—healed wounds. The stab wound, at least, was completely healed, as well as the bite mark. Many slashes were scabbed over, but several smaller cuts were still open even if not actively bleeding. 
Brushing their hair out of their face felt like far too gentle of an action, considering their tumultuous relationship, but he did it anyway. “Do what?”
They sniffled, angrily wiping at their eyes once again before pulling their legs closer to themselves, arms wrapped around them tightly as they hugged their legs against their chest. “Pretend to care. I can’t stand it.”
That stung more than he wanted to admit, more than he understood, but he just nodded.
“Not pretending, kid.” The denial came easier than he’d expected, and quicker than Bright had expected if the look on their face was anything to go by. 
Still, they just scoffed, curling in on themselves more as they stared at the sun shining on the ground. They reached out one of their hands, tracing a finger along the edge of the light and staring at it longingly. Sam just watched, frowning, as moving forward and getting the slightest bit of sun on their skin made them wince and recoil before trying again.
Moving closer, he gently placed one of his hands over theirs, holding them down and out of the light. He squeezed them lightly, both to help keep them out of the shade, and to try and offer some form of comfort.
“Can you at least tell me why they did it?” They stubbornly shook their head and he sighed. “C’mon, kid. You’ve gotta give me something to work with here. I want to help you.”
The last part seemed to break them, but the response he got just left him more confused. “Everyone here thinks I’m just a screw up.” Muttered beneath their breath and dripping with unconcealed resentment. Yet, they didn’t look at him, eyes still firmly fixed on the light that they couldn’t truly feel on their skin ever again.
He knew the look in their eyes. He’d felt that same longing for over a decade now.
“There’s something wrong with me,” They whispered, voice breaking slightly, “And I don’t know what it is. But I know everyone can see it. And I know I can’t fix it.”
For all that they had tried to seem strong and rageful, there was an undeniable pain in them that he hadn’t seen before. Now that he had, he couldn’t believe that he’d ever missed it.
Then again, maybe he just hadn’t wanted to see it. It was too similar to the same pain that he had become intimately familiar with; that he felt every day since he was turned.
“I don’t want this. I never would have chosen this.”
He had been feeling thick, stinging guilt the whole time, and it had clouded his mind. It still did. But the sinking feeling that their two situations weren’t so different was starting to weigh down on him as strongly as an anchor. Now he was just feeling sick.  All he could manage was shaking his head and sighing. 
“Let’s get you inside,” Grabbing their hand and helping them to their feet, he tried extremely hard not to think about the realizations he was having, “And out of those clothes.”
As he shrugged off his jacket, they watched him with something like suspicion, which only worsened when he put it onto them. It practically swallowed them, and they just scowled and pulled it around themselves.  
He led them inside, his arm around their shoulder as they wordlessly followed and let themselves be set down on the couch. They looked lost, and smaller than he’d ever seen them; the sight made him pause.
“Kid?”
They looked up at him questioningly, head tilting slightly to the side. 
“I don’t hate you. And whatever might’ve happened…. You didn’t deserve this. For whatever that’s worth.”
Their gaze softened, the change slight but distinctly noticeable due to their usual scowl and glare. He turned around before they could see his small smile, leaving to go get them clean clothes.
Luckily, Frederick was still asleep when he slipped into the room, and even with his conflicted emotions, Sam couldn’t stop himself from gently ruffling his hair with a fond look.
“Shit, kid. What have I gotten myself into?” He muttered, staying quiet to not wake him up.
That thought was only intensified when, by the time he had gone back to the living room, he found that Bright was also asleep. Curled up into a ball on the couch and holding tightly onto his jacket that was still around their body.
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goremet-chef · 10 months
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trying to control my emotions is so difficult man, like i can be honest with myself and lay out the whole truth, but that little voice inside me will always be like "okay, but what if we dont know the whole truth? what if something happened we dont know about and our fear is completely warranted?"
its sad because its not like.. the 'little voice' isnt an alter or something, its just ME. i bring myself so much misery, i feel so ashamed. i cant believe im our host. i bring all of us down, and im not even being dramatic or anything, i genuinely do. im selfish, and my method of coping with reality is to LEAVE it, when someone else fronts im biting my lip waiting to crawl back into front and take me out of here. i stop our social alters from even ATTEMPTING to be social because im too scared of the consequences (even if its just part of life, it rips my soul apart to be rejected, im so tired of being seen as weird)
its honestly kind of impressive, but despite all this fear that ties me down to the floor, i cant i CAN NOT ask if somethings wrong
i cant do it, because thats admitting defeat. thats me saying 'yeah ill be honest im sure nothing has happened on your end, but ive been drowning myself in anxiety and i need validation that my fear is for nothing like how you probably think it is'
i cant keep doing that. i hate being such a piece of work!!!! its never simple with me, everythings always fine until it literally isnt. ive convinced myself my friends, my closest bestest best besties, ALL hate me and ive been so depressed only for them to act completely normal and then i realize oh actually they dont and i was sad for nothing :] okay!
like. i just.
the last time i was ever open about how i was feeling, was when i was in contact with my groomer. i loved him i think, and i felt like i should be open with him, because he was my FP and the amount of crying i did every day was so pathetic
that was when i learned i had bpd and thats why i acted the way i did, and so i tried to be more open about it because i heard that i should and it would be good for my relationships, but all it did was make him tired with me, tired that i was constantly scared and asking if he still liked me
that was a bad time for me, i cant ignore that. being in constant contact with him was basically just giving me trauma every single day. my system was SO active trying to manage the stress, it was bad. i cant just blame myself for how i was acting, because it was a terrible horrible situation that i dont wish on anyone else, but man i wish i did things different
but like?? its like no matter the option i pick, its still the same!!! different outcome but shitty nonetheless
do i open up and tell the people i love that oh actually im really scared and im constantly afraid you dont love me anymore? or do i just. sit with the pain.
if i tell them, best case they tell me 'no dom, we still love you' and thats that, worst case they get annoyed with me, they see me as too much to handle, they pity me because something is clearly wrong with me
if i dont, then i do exactly what i do now, which is just wallowing in self hate and loneliness for 3 whole days, waiting for something thats not gonna happen because i havent fucking COMMUNICATED that i want it
i think technically, being open is the way to go. if i hadnt been stuck in such a shitty situation with a person like BRIAN then i wouldve probably seen better outcome. im open that i have BPD, so people should be aware what theyre getting into. if they stay despite knowing, they care about me, i know this is true. a lot of people book it once they hear you have any sort of cluster-b personality disorder because they immediately assume yr some kind of abuser, so this already is a good thing that i have people open enough to not immediately classify me as one and run
i just get scared like. what if i ask if somethings wrong and something IS wrong?? what if its my fault? id be so ashamed in myself. i dont have enough experience in human interaction to know how to fully like. handle that situation, the unknown outcome is what scares me the most
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souichieatr · 3 years
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hiluuu! can i request a scenario/drabble for tsukishima, kuroo, oikawa, and akaashi where they're in a heated argument with their fem!s/o, then she suddenly faints? turns out she had a fever since the morning and hid it from them but got worse during their fight?
their s/o faints during a heated argument
with tsukishima k, kuroo t, oikawa t, akaashi k
a/n: thank you for requesting i hope you enjoy, im sorry this took forever?????? they get longer each one omg
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tsukishima k
you don't even remember why you both are fighting, as he sips another insult your headache gets worse. as you don't say anything just raise your hand to your head he gets even more frustrated. "can you at least act like your age, ignoring me isn't going to resolve the issue." he says not noticing how your body starts to shuffle as you try and keep your balance. rolling his eyes turning to the door, "im not going to deal with this today-" before he can finish he hears a loud thud, turning around he sees your body on the floor. rushing to the floor next to you, "y/n?" bringing his hands up to your head, biting his lip cursing at himself in his head. picking up and lays you down in the bed as he gets water and a towel. when you wake up again you notice youre in bed, trying to sit up youre pushed back down. “don't do that, that wasn't cool” he says in a low tone, handing you a glass and some medicine. taking them both with a nod, “thank you kei and im sorry” you say handing the glass back to him, setting it down on the table he takes your hand. gently kissing the back of it and resting his head on your hand. “why are you on the floor?” you softly smile at him hearing a small ‘shut up.’
kuroo t
the fight started because he started to prioritize the volleyball team more than you. it didnt bother you that he stayed late, went early to practice, it didnt bother you until he started canceling plans with you. he told you repeatedly he would spend more time with you, today not being any different waiting in the rain in front of the cafe you both decided to eat at. not until 10 minutes had passed you went back to the school, walking to the gym with angry steps you opened the door roughly. the whole team looking at you soaking wet, frozen for a second he walks over to you. “y/n what are you doing here?” he says in an annoyed tone. “don't give me that bullshit tetsurō, we had plans today i waited for you to only be stood up again, are you even serious about this? us?” you say motioning your hand between him and you. rolling his eyes and he huffs, “can you stop being dramatic? im a captain this team needs me i didnt know you could be so selfish” widening your eyes at him, trying to catch your breath you close your eyes. “selfish? me selfish? you have some nerve i'll be leaving since i dont wanna bother the captain and his team” you say sarcastically, stepping back outside you start coughing. kuroo following behind you, “this conversation isn't done yet” he says grabbing your wrist, turning you around and his eyes widen. “y/n? you look pale are you okay?” he says as he does your eyes roll back and your legs give out. taking you in his arms he rushed inside asking the guys to grab towels to dry you off. sitting down on the floor with you in between his legs, he holds you close feeling guilty. feeling you stir awake he kisses your cheek, “im so sorry babe this is my fault, if i had just been there you wouldnt have been waiting in the rain” he says hugging you tighter. “im serious about us more than anything. i'll try harder to put more effort into our relationship. “i trust you tetsu and do you have any medicine? my heads killing me” you say smiling, he smiles and hands you a bottle of pills and a water.
oikawa t
sitting on the couch, rubbing your temples. “tooru can we please talk about this? youve been ignoring me all day” you say looking at him as he paces the room. “oh now you wanna talk? i thought you were too busy with iwa to notice me” he said stopping to look at you. “wow why are you so mad? what does iwaizumi have to do with this?” you say giving him a confused face as you rest your hand on the back of the couch. “y/n why dont you just date him huh? you obviously like him so much, why are you even with me?” he says getting louder each word. “literally what?” you saying this getting him more frustrated. sighing at those words he runs his hands through his hair, “i saw you both hugging if i knew you were just jumping my friends maybe i what've listened to all those girls.” “okay now what the actual fuck tooru? i can't hug a friend all of a sudden? did you just imply that i am cheating? i cannot believe you” you say feeling your anger bubble up, he opens his mouth to say something. “no no! because how dare you, you have girls all over you everywhere trying to take pictures and give you gifts, you expect me to worship the ground like they do dont you? guess what im not, you dont get to accuse me of cheating because i hugged someone that someone being your closest friend just what person do you take me as huh?” you say getting up fast, maybe too fast as the pounding in your head gets louder. leaning your weight on the couch as you continue, “me and iwaizumi share one simple goal and thats to keep your ass in line, all those late nights and you overworking yourself, you not coming to anyone for help and your bratty ass attitude hes the only one who'll help me deal with you, im not gonna let you blame him because all hes done is help you.” you say getting the strength to get closer to him as you try and take a step your legs falter. his initial reaction to everything you said had his eyes widened and mouth agape, seeing you almost fall sent him over to you trying to help. “no i can do i-” you say as you start to fall and everything goes black. opening your eyes slowly you feel something cool on your head, “hey youre up” a voice says softly. looking over to see tooru next to you as he grabs your hand, before you could say anything else he speaks up. “let me talk for a bit yeah?” he asks as he looks at your joined hands, whispering a soft “okay” he continues. “im sorry, im sorry for not noticing you weren't feeling good, im sorry for saying you cheated, im sorry for yelling, i just got insecure after i heard some girls talk about how cute you and iwa look and seeing you both hug like that just set me off” he says lifting your hands and kisses your knuckles. “i like how you dont worship the ground i step on, i like how you fight back but when i need you most youre always there. i appreciate everything you and iwa do, i love you y/n.” he finishes and looks at you with teary eyes, pulling him down into a hug you whisper “i love you too.”
akaashi k
now arguing with him isnt a normal thing, usually you both can speak calmly and work it out. he gets frustrated because you're not listening and he's been having a stressed week and just kinda blows up. sighing as he runs his hands through his hair, breathing in and out slowly trying to calm himself down. you roll your eyes, “keiji im fine can you just leave me alone, you dont have to treat me like a baby- '' before you could finish he lets out a small mocking laugh. “i wouldnt treat you like one if you didnt act like one, y/n grow up and take some responsibility so /i/ dont have to be the bad guy, the stressed one, the one who has to take care of you.” staring at him with wide eyes he continues, “you wanted me to stop treating you like a baby stop looking so shocked.” you feel a tickle in your throat, trying to hold it in hoping if youre quiet enough you could sneak away. ultimately failing and having a coughing fit you feel your legs get wobbly. “were you trying to hold it in? so childish” he says looking away about to walk off, turning his head to look at you before he walks away he sees your eyes roll back. you wake up on the couch with a wet towel and a blanket on you, slowly sitting up and looking towards the kitchen you see akaashi quietly making you food. looking back at the table you see a glass and some medicine. taking the items and washing them down alerted akaashi to you being awake, rushing to you he looks down at his hands as he picks at them. “how are you feeling?” he asks quietly, you answer with a quick “fine.” sitting on the side of the couch he faces you, “im sorry theres really no excuse for the way i acted i just i hate seeing you trying to be okay when youre not.” scooting closer you rest your head on his shoulder, “if what its worth i like when you baby me” smiling at you he kisses your forehead. “i'll remember that.”
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sloppykyuu · 4 years
Note
Look if I'm getting too much u need to tell me cos I wont stop sending in shit
So Issei finally gets a gf and if super obsessed with her (not in a creepy or unhealthy way just really fucking in love and happy that someone has feelings for him) so he tries his hardest to always make her happy and one day he hears her and her friends talk about their boyfriends and all their friends talk about how good their boyfriends are in bed and Isseis gf doesnt say much cos she wants to keep things like that privat (that's a lie she just doesnt want to destroy everyone else's self esteem cos nobody can compare to him at all) and Issei makes it his mission to fuck her in every position possible the entire weekend and he does and basically his gf cant go to school for a week cos legs dont function and she let's her friends now why she isnt at school and they r frustrated that their boyfriends never fucked them this well before (◍•ᴗ•)
P.s. dont be shy u can write the sex scenes as detailed as u want
Ah yes ☺️ i love ur request never stop sending them.
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There was no question that the moment Issei met you he had fallen for you. The day he made you his girlfriend just proved it further.
He was arguably the best boyfriend anyone could ever ask for. He gave you his food if you ever forgot it, handing you his sweatshirts whenever the slightest of breezes would pass, and overall just spoiling you.
He was no different in bed as rough as he was, he always reminded you that you took him so well, that you were so perfect, and no one ever compared to your tiny, clenching cunt (or you just you in general).
He knew he wanted to keep you forever and made sure that would happen. He thought that he pleased you in ever sense of the word, so it was surprise when he overheard your friends talking about their sex life and not hearing a peep from you.
“He’s that good?”
“You have no idea,” you watched as your friend practically moaned at the thought of her boyfriend. “He’s pretty big too.”
You decided to stay silent as your friends boasted about the rounds of steamy sex they had last night. It’s not like you didn’t have anything to add in, you just didn’t think they should really know about your sex life. And maybe the fact that if you had flexed about how your boyfriend made you cum multiple times almost every night, you’d probably end up crushing their egos.
It hurt Issei just a little bit that you didn’t butt in to let those girls know that he fucked you stupid everytime. At least, he thought he did. Were you faking for him? No, there was no way. You were begging for him last night. Begging him to fill you to the brim with his seed, begging for him to slow down, that your poor abused cunt couldn’t take anymore.
“Y/n?” You looked up from your food. “You’ve been rather quiet. Why’s that?”
You shrug at her. “Nothing to add, that’s all.”
She squints her eyes at your skeptically. “So he’s not good in bed, huh?”
You eyes widen at that,”what? When’d I say that?”
“You didn’t have to, your silence says everything.”
“It says nothing! I never said he was bad!” You exclaimed in disbelief.
“You never said he was good, though.” Your other friend jumps in.
The look you give them makes their hands shoot up. “No need to get defensive. Some guys aren’t good at sex and that’s okay. It’s not your fault Y/n. Plus, you love him and thats what matters most.”
“You two are ridiculous.” You scoff and shake your head at the two girls in front of you.
You hadn’t even said anything, where’d they get the idea Issei wasn’t good?!
Before the girls could continue, Issei rounds the corner.
“Hey babe,” you jump at the sound of his voice and quickly get up from your seat.
“Issei!” You make your way to him and wrap your arms around his waist. He quickly returns the hug.
“Ready to go?” You nod and move to gather up your things.
The pitiful look they shoot you when Issei wraps his arm around your shoulder is met with an unamused glare before you two walked away.
The walk home was silent. Fortunately not uncomfortable.
He didn’t like how you hadn’t said anything to confirm that he was good. He supposes it shouldn’t upset him too bad, you hadn’t said he was bad. He planned to prove your friends wrong. To make sure your creaming pussy and begs for more weren’t part of his imagination.
The moment the door closed behind you Issei had you pressed against it, a thigh between your legs, and tongue down your throat. His arm rests beside your head, his other hand squeezes your hip.
He pulls away to kiss down your neck. “What’s gotten into you?”
“Can’t I just love on my girl?” He continues his assault on your neck bringing his hand down from beside your head to your waist. A moan leaves your lips and you rut your hips on his thigh when he sucks on a tender spot on your neck
His hand moves to rest on your thigh before slipping up it to your clothed heat. He rubs at the wetness that seeps through your panties before pushing them to the side and rubbing at your clit.
Soft moans fill his ears as he slips his fingers down to your wet hole. Gathering it up on his fingers, spreading it around and pushing two fingers deep into you.
Squeals of pleasure filled the room as he massaged your sensitive little spot. He felt you tighten and grind your hips down on his hand, groaning at your desperation.
“You want my cock so bad, don’t you baby?” You nodded eagerly at his words. “Course you do, so desperate for my big cock.”
You threw your head back against the door, mouth wide open as he continued to thrust his fingers deep inside you.
“Fu-fuck, it feels so fucking good~” you whined. Your fingers dug into the material stretched across his shoulder. He chuckles at you before pulling his fingers out, hearing you whine at the loss.
He pulls away from you and grabs your hand, tugging you to the bedroom. When you reach the room he quickly wraps his arms around your waist and kisses you.
His hands slip from your waist to the small of your back before slipping down to your ass and squeezing rather roughly. A gasp parts your lips which lets him stick his tongue back down your throat, all while he hands move from your ass to the back of your thighs, tugging gently to signal he wanted to pick you up.
You jump and wrap your legs around his slim waist, keeping your tongues entwined. He walks you two until his legs hits the bed and tosses you on it.
“Take your shirt off,” Issei commands you. He watches with hooded eyes and unbuttons his shirt while you do yours. Eyes glued to your covered chest the moment your skin is exposed.
You scoot up on the bed for him to crawl over you after throwing the blouse somewhere in the room. Where it went wasn’t really corcerning at this moment. Only the primal look in Issei’s eyes. His gaze soaking up your full breasts popping out of your bra. “Such a pretty little thing you are,” he smirks at your doe eyes looking up at him.
He grips one of your tits in his large hand, gently squeezing it. He pressed his lips to yours again. He pulls the bra down to punch your nipple with thumb and forefinger.
A soft gasp leaving your lips as he pulls mouth away to lap at your nipple. One hand kneads at your other breast while the other travels to your hips to unzip your skirt. He pushes the material down your legs and tosses it.
He pulls away from you unbuckle his own slacks. Gaze on you as you remove your bra and panties. Slinging your panties at him, giggling as he catches them with ease.
“You testing me, right now?” He smirks down at you. “Asking me put these on, princess?”
“Issei! Shut up!” You laugh at him before deciding to tease him and spreading your legs for him. “Please, ‘sei. Need you so bad,” you whine as you slip your fingers down to your clit, rubbing gently.
He lets out a deep breath and tugs his underwear down his legs, stepping out of them and crawling back over you.
He slaps your hand away from your pussy and grabs both of your hands pinning them above your head.
“You really think you make yourself feel better than I can?” He scoffs.
“N-no.”
“That’s what I thought. I make you feel good don’t I, baby?” He smiles down at you, running a thumb across your cheek.
“So good, ‘sei. Please fuck me,” his smiles grows wider as he leans down to press a kiss to your lips.
He lets go of your wrists before straight back up, and gripping his aching cock in his hand. “Gonna fuck you so good, angel.” He says, tapping the thick head of his cock on your hard clit. Watching your tiny hole clench at the stimulation.
He lines it up to your hole, head catching your slick lips. “Put it in daddy please,”
With no hesitation he begins pushing his large length into your tiny, snug cunt.
Throwing his head back and groaning as you clench tightly around him. “Fuck- baby. Your pussy is so tiny. Dunno if you can even take all of me.”
You nod desperately, “I-I can. I can do it. Please,”
“If you say so, don’t expect me to stop then. Got it?” He bites his lip watching you nod eagerly, eyes wide and glossy.
You thought that by now you’d be used to the wide stretch every time he pushed his cock inside of you, but you weren’t. It burned and it hurt but it felt so good. To have something so long and thick filling you to the brim. Stretching you beyond your limit every time he fucked you.
When he bottomed out, thick, heavy balls touched your ass and tip kissing your cervix, you nearly passed out. His dick so thick it rested and throbbed on your g-spot, causing you to cum around him while he pushed in.
“Did you just cum?” He huffs an amused laugh. Your cheeks flush a deep red and rest your arm on your eyes to cover your face. “Aww, baby, no need to be embarrassed.”
He ruts his hips into you when you don’t respond to him. Your arm falls off your face as your head tips back.
He pulls his hips back, tip catching your lips before slamming right back in. You both moan out.
Issei grabs the back of your knees to push them against your chest, allowing him to fuck you deeper.
“Ohh~” you moan out. Your hands grip at your own thighs. “Harder, please.”
He smiles at you before hammering his Cock into you. Your eyes roll back into your head as he pounds your cervix over and over again. Successfully leaving you brainless.
Your head lolls to the side and your tongue peels out of your mouth spilling drool down the side of your face. He keeps his gaze trained on the far away look in your eyes. Listens to the whimpers and moans that leave your lips as pounds into your spasming cunt.
“Squeezing me, baby, you gonna cum again?”
“Uhhhh uh huh,” he chuckles at your inability to answer.
“Aw,” he faux frowns, “did I fuck you stupid, baby girl? Huh, did I fuck your little brain out?”
You don’t respond to him. Too busy focusing on the quickly approaching orgasm. You arch your back high off the bed in turn causing him to fuck you at a new angle, even deeper and more pleasurable than the last. One last thrust has you cumming around him again.
Creaming thickly on his cock. The sight makes his cock throb. Your stretched pussy, accommodating his girth, and the translucent white that coats his cock as his continues to fuck you through your second orgasm.
He pulls out when you calm down, whining because you thought it was over, but you’re quickly shut up when turns you around. Propping your hips up, so your ass was in the air and your face shoved in the pillows.
He quickly pushes his length inside you. Returning back to his previous pace. He could taste how close he was. His balls twitching as they slapped against you. He leans over pressing kisses to your shoulders and cheeks, arms leaning on either side of your head.
Soft gasps leave you with each slam of his hips. The small pool of puddle of drool that seeps into the sheets makes him chuckle gently. He knows he fucked you silly, fucked you so silly you can’t even be concered about something you’d usually find so gross.
He knew you were going to cum again soon, hopefully with him, because your walls clamped impossibly tight around him. So sensitive from your previous two orgasms he knew you’d be coming in no time anyway.
A few more deep, hard thrusts later he had you gushing around him. Clear liquid splashing on his balls had him pushing deep inside you releasing his thick load inside your abused womb. Filling you up wholy. Cum seeped out around his dick, spilling out when pulls himself from your sore cunt.
He rolls you on your back and presses soft kisses all across your face. “Such a good girl.” He hums softly. “Love you so much, baby.”
He hears your content sigh and relaxes when he notices you coming back down to reality. “Hi, baby.” He smiles at the cute grin on your lips, cheeks rosy and stained tears on your cheeks.
“Hi bubba.” You sigh. He pressed a gentle kiss to your lips before running off to the bathroom to get a damp rag to clean you up.
Chuckling at the quiet squeal that leaves your lips at the cold feeling. “Feeling okay? Wasn’t too rough, was I?”
You shake your head at him. “I’m okay. But I do wanna know where all this came from.” You question as he takes in his arms, resting your head on his chest.
“Just wanted to let you know how good I make you feel,” he shrugs, a hint of smugness in his voice.
“I hate you.” You laugh at his words.
“Sure you do, baby. Sure you do.” He hugs you tighter to his chest.
He knew there was no question that he fucked his girl the best. Maybe he’d bring up what he’d heard, or really lack thereof, or maybe he wouldn’t. But one thing was sure, no one could fuck you better than him.
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A/n: I DID IT!!! I finally finished this request. I need to get back into the dirty mindset lol but I hope you liked this cuz this concept was fucking sick. And I’m feeling better (for now lmao I think I’m alright 😳)
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Request are back tf open!
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juviaafullbuster · 4 years
Note
If u can, can u make a gruvia oneshot just before gray leaves to 100 years quest? And Juvia isnt really happy about it because it felt like when he left her for 6 months
You guys really have a thing for angst, don't you? You're killing me over here. But ask and you shall receive! Hope you like it 💙
Repeating mistakes
The moment he left his place, he knew something was wrong. Not that it was hard to figure out. The rain that was drenching him from head to toe was a pretty good indicator.
Usually it wouldn't bother him much. He wasn't a fan of hot weather anyways. This rain however, this one was different. Because it wasn't the normal kind. No, he was certain this was her rain, produced by feelings that she would describe as gloomy.
Gray hurried to the guild hall. The sooner he got there, the better. It had been a while since she last made it rain like that. The only time he experienced it himself was when they first fought against each other, back when she was still with Phantom. After that, there was only one more time he was aware of. And that was when he had left her to go on an undercover mission, joining a dark guild, without any notice. It had been for her own safety however it turned out hurting her more deeply than the dark guild could have ever done. Gray didn't like to remember that. Not what he had done, not how she had felt. It was something he wasn't very proud of and there was still deep regret. If Natsu hadn't found her in time..
He shook the thought away, focusing on the building in front of him. The rain was falling harder here, dark clouds looming over the guild hall, an indicator that she was inside.
Somehow that worried him more. Everyone else was most likely in there too, so she wasn't alone. What could have happened that would lead her to produce such a rain? And why couldn't anyone else in there do something about it? He took a deep breath before entering the guild hall. Mira was in front of him in an instant, a sympathetic smile on her face, holding out a towel for him.
"You're not the first one to come in drenched. The others are using Natsu as a human heater."
Gray took the towel, not really focusing on what Mira was saying. Instead he found himself glancing around, holding an eye out for a certain blunette. He felt a hard slap on his back, before Cana throw her arm over his shoulders.
"I don't know what you did to the little cutie, but you better fix it fast. I planned to use the pool today so you better hurry up lover boy. She's in the back."
Ignoring the comment as well as the nickname, he looked over to Mira, silently asking if she was actually in there. Not that he didn't trust Cana, but, to noones surprise, the girl was pretty drunk once again, and had pointed in several different directions with the bottle in her hand already. Mira just giggled before pointing to the first door on the left. Shaking Cana off, he made his way over there. He knocked on the door, before holding his ear to it, waiting for any reaction.
"Juvia, are you in here?"
Another knock, yet no reaction. Gray sighed before deciding to just go in. She would have to talk to him, whether she wanted to or not. Although it was hard to imagine her not wanting to talk to him. Boosting his confidence with that, he took a deep breath before opening the door slowly. Luckily it was unlocked. He looked around before spotting her, sitting near the window and looking outside. If she knew he entered, she didn't show.
"Juvia?" He walked up to her, awaiting her reaction. Any moment now she would turn around, smile, call his name or jump him. Or do all of that. At least she usually would.
Instead she just glanced over her shoulder, informing him that she registered his presence, before focusing back on whatever it was she was looking at outside. Maybe this wasn't going to be as easy as Gray had hoped.
"Hey.. can I sit?" He waited a moment before he received a mumbled reply.
"Sure."
At least she was talking now. He plopped down next to her, following her line of sight. Of course she was staring at the rain droplets, following their way down the window with her eyes.
"Want to tell me what this is about? Did something happen?"
"No."
"Then what is it? What's wrong?"
She kept quiet, pulling her knees closer to her body and draping her arms around them.
"Juvia, talk to me."
He heard her sigh before she finally looked at him. There were unshead tears in her eyes, threatening to roll down any moment. She didn't look angry, no, instead the look on her face showed pain. She was clearly hurt. Gray thought back to Canas words. I don't know what you did.. Was that really his doing? What did he do?
Gray tried to remember anything that had happened in the past weeks, anything he did or said that might have hurt her but he couldn't put his mind on anything. He was sure that he had been nice lately, especially to her. Sure, he did avoid her a lot of times but that's only because he had yet to figure out how to act around her. He was just coming clear with his feelings himself. Is it possible she misunderstood his actions for rejection? It would certainly explain the look of hurt.
"Juvia.. did I do something wrong?"
Juvia huffed and suddenly she was glaring at him.
"It's more about what Gray didn't do."
Gray. Just Gray. No Graysama. Wow, he must have really messed up.
"Alright, help me out please.. what is it that I didn't do?"
"You didn't tell Juvia!"
"Tell you what?"
Gray was seriously lost at this point. What was he supposed to tell her? Was she talking about his feelings? He thought she understood that he was getting there. She always seemed so understanding before. Was she out of patience? Gray was afraid she'd reach that point eventually and give up on him.
"You didn't tell Juvia about your new mission. The so called 100 years quest?"
Gray couldn't help the sigh of relief. She wasn't giving up on him after all.
"Oh, that. What about it?"
"I can't believe you."
Juvia scoffed, turning her head away from him. That didn't stop him from seeing how the look of disbelief turned into a look of betrayal.
"Juvia, it's just a mission. What's the big deal?"
"You really don't see the issue?"
There was a moment of silence. Juvia was looking at him now, waiting for his reply. He scratched his neck awkwardly, not sure how to respond to her. What was the issue? It's not like it was unusual for him to go on missions. It was literally their job. Sure, this was a bigger one but it wasn't like he was going alone. Was that it? Did she want to join?
"Is it about me going without you? I didn't think it'd be an issue. I always go along with Natsu and the others. I didn't consider that you'd want to join us so badly. Besides, didn't you already agree to go on a mission with Gajeel?"
"It's not that."
"It's not?"
"No, of course not! Juvia doesn't care that you're going without her. Juvia is fine with you going on missions with others. Juvia is even fine with you going on missions with love rival. Sure, she would prefer it otherwise but she would never make a fuss over that."
"Then what is it you're making a fuss over?"
Juvia glared at him, anger now clearly visible in her eyes. Alright, maybe he could have phrased that differently. But he was seriously getting lost here. And can you blame him? Juvia had switched between several emotions, just in the last five minutes.
"Juvia is hurt because she forgave Graysama once, in the firm believe that it wouldn't happen again. Graysama is going to leave in less than a week and he has yet to tell Juvia about it."
"I was going to tell you, I just-"
"When? Before you got on the train? Juvia had to find out through Natsu, because he was declaring it all proudly, saying that he was going to be the one finishing this quest after all those years. It wasn't until Juvia asked Lucy out of all people, that she learned about the details!"
"I didn't think it was going to be such a big issue."
"Of course you didn't.."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
Juvia was standing now, looking down at him, anger and hurt clearly visible. She didn't seem to want to hide it either. No, it was clear Juvia wanted Gray to know exactly how she was feeling. She was glaring down at him and Gray couldn't help but feel small. He wanted to get up, be able to face her properly, but somehow he was sure that would anger her just more.
"You left Juvia once without notice. Six months. Six months filled with pain, worry, doubt, sadness, anger. Juvia was a mess. Emotionally, mentally, physically, she was in a bad shape in every aspect. But you know that. You know how sick Juvia got. They told you about the fever, the waiting in the rain, the state Natsu and the others found her in. Juvia was so hurt, sad and angry. But also so worried."
At this point there were tears rolling down her cheeks. Gray wanted to hold her, to apologize, to wipe the tears away, but he didn't dare to move. The rain was getting louder, falling harder.
"But Juvia forgave you. Juvia forgave you for leaving her, for not telling her about your whereabouts, for making her worry so much. Juvia forgave you, even without you apologizing. Because Juvia understood. She understood why you did what you did."
She wiped her tears away, taking a moment to regain her posture before taking a deep breath and continuing.
"Juvia forgave you once. She forgave you in the belief that it wouldn't happen again. That Graysama learned from it. But here we are. Watching it all repeat itself. You're leaving on a mission, one that will take longer, a few months at least, and you have yet to tell Juvia. Everyone else was informed, but Juvia had to find out by accident, because she happened to be there when Natsu mentioned it. And why? Because Graysama didn't learn. Graysama didn't understand. Because Graysama didn't bother. Maybe Juvia forgave to fast back then, maybe it's her own fault.."
"Juvia-"
"No, don't. Just-"
A bitter laugh escaped her lips. Something so unusual for her.
"Juvia is a fool. She believed it, that we were making progress. That she just needed to be more patient. But Juvia was wrong. Because no matter what, Juvia will never be as important to Gray as he is to her."
With that she turned around, making her way out of the room and slamming the door behind her. Gray was left sitting on the floor, Juvias words echoing through his head. He had messed up. He had truly messed up and he wasn't sure how and if he was able to fix this. Minutes passed, minutes that felt like hours, but Gray didn't dare to move.
When he finally got up, he could hear the rain still falling, but it was slowing down. An indication that she was getting further away, the more time passed. And Gray was afraid that if he didn't find a way to fix things fast, he wouldn't be able to reach her anymore.
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taketheringtolohac · 3 years
Note
hello this is very silly but. I am a certified blaseball baby (s19) and sometimes I feel like I missed out on the "golden" era of blaseball where so many inside jokes and wonderful things were made. do you have any advice on how to get over this lol and how to engage in the community in a meaningful way? thanks <3
This has been sitting in my ask box for a while now but i think i've finally collected my thoughts on it! Thank you for the ask, it isn’t silly at ALL, i think about this question a lot as someone who got into blaseball in season 2 and has kept up rigorously since, and i have been trying to find an adequate way to answer this- so here we go!
I think the first thing to really say is that a lot of feeling excluded from things... isn't your fault. Blaseball requires a lot of in knowledge! and when you're getting into it it really just seems like EVERYONE is in the know and somehow you are the only person who isnt, and thats because of the MASSIVE learning curve that blaseball has because of all the sun rules and new mechanics and the era of expansion being DESIGNED to overwhelm you. And people tend to forget that once they're In the Know, and a lot of people (myself included) really get caught up in remembering these AWESOME moments that happened in the early game, but the thing is it's not YOUR responsibility to make YOURSELF feel included in the community- that's people who already know what the hell is going on's job!
But the thing is, new in jokes are being made LITERALLY daily. The mints just made ANOTHER one today- these things happen all the time and you never know which ones will be super important in the future! Like gurgies, while out of fashion and common use now, was originally just a stupid mints way of saying blooddrain gurgled but we freaking said it so much and said it EVERYWHERE and people REMEMBERED it for being cursed and now thats something people say across the league. Here's the thing, it may sound really unhelpful but also- so what? Why does it MATTER that you weren't here when "wimdy" was coined? You're here now! You are witnessing blaseball happening and blaseball history being made by the second! I know just telling people dont get caught up in what you missed is really hard and doesn't really work, but i think trying to embrace that mindset will do wonders for you not just in trying to "get over" (which i dont really like as an expression here, i dont think this is something you really just get over you kind of have to keep confronting it! i do it too! a lot!) but also just for interacting with blaseball as a whole.
There is SO much that happens in blaseball and you will NEVER be able to catch all of it- thats part of the beauty and horror of it- but really learning to accept that you WON'T be able to catch all of it is part of a healthy relationship with blaseball! You don't know everything that's happening with every team at every moment- and then something will totally blindside you when something WILD happens to them and god. To me that is part of what blaseball is about. I've been here for 22 seasons and I STILL don't know anything about some of the original 20 teams. And that's ok! New things are always happening! Players are always dying! Players are always getting shadowed! They're feedbacking, reverbing, eating peanuts, getting shelled- they're part of blaseball of course things are happening and really trying to embrace that chaos will take you a long way.
Another thing to keep reminding yourself other than that things are literally always being made is that you yes YOU have an impact on the league. Whether it's just voting or betting (do people still bet? surely some do) or idol switching or even just watching the game, YOU are making some kind of impact. That's part of the narrative design of blaseball, it's quite literally designed so that fans can be directly involved in the splort. Even if you didn't MAKE the lore for a character, you can still talk about them! Participate in conversations and make jokes and memes about them! What you VOTE for matters, and you don't have to make the most money (lord knows i gave up on that seasons ago I'm just trying to make a decent amount now) but all it takes is a single ticket to get that blessing or that will your team (or just you lmao) wants. You can unredact things in the library! You can give peanuts to dead players you like! And you also can just MAKE shit up all the time. Whatever you say about anyone can be true to you. I know I'm not the only person who has wildly different hcs for players on teams that aren't even my own, let alone the ways that my hcs differ from the common interpretation of my own team's players. Or even the ways that my hcs DO converge or even just build off team ones, or are directly adjacent to them it's all equally valid! Today I said "Leo Baron wears heart shaped sunglasses" and people went wild over it and started just talking about it. You have that power with everything in blaseball! You control the buttons you press, and you impact the league! And you impact other people on your team!
The last thing that I really do recommend doing is just... hanging out with your team on discord, if that's your jam. You don't have to talk much! For what it's worth though, I think all teams are really receptive to new players and captains/representatives are there to try and make you feel welcome, as far as i know. Even if you're not a "new" player anymore you're still newer, and that still counts! If you're having trouble finding a way to start participating in conversations, I recommend just watching a game with your team. It's REALLY easy to talk about something when you're all seeing the same thing, and a lot of the things you say are pretty much prompted by the game as well! You know, like "come on Twooney hit a double" or "Marco please steal its the bottom of the 9th and we want to win-" but then in watching matches you also get to learn chants and see how people interact with each other. This is how I integrated myself into mints culture and became comfortable talking in chat which I know isn't for everyone but hey! It's what I got! But when you hang out with your team and get to know people you start to actually feel like part of a community, and when you feel like you're part of something bigger than yourself it eases the burden of feeling like you missed something because you're living in the moment! EVERY game has the potential to be EARTH SHATTERING for a team in blaseball, ANY game can be the next "most iconic" game for your team. Beating yourself up over not getting into the game earlier isn't gonna help, and cool shit is happening daily! That's what's so fucking cool about it!
I really hope this helps you, anon, and anyone else feeling this way. blaseball is for everyone! It sucks that people aren't being more mindful of what they say and how they interact with newer fans! In all honesty, I don't really even know how to answer this because it's such a complicated question- but the thing is all the older fans should be thinking about this question because they are part of a community composed of many people joining at different times with different levels of knowledge about the game itself, baseball, communities and really everything. Just remember that YOU are in charge of your own blaseball experience and things are ALWAYS being created! Maybe even YOU could create the next big blaseball thing- after all, almost everything in blaseball was created by an ordinary fan who was just saying something that came to mind.
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batarella · 4 years
Text
The Bullet: A Sequel to The Commander - Part 2 (Jason Todd x Reader)
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THE SMUT STARTS HERE. THO THIS ONE ISNT ACTUALLY FULL ON SMUT, YOU’LL KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 
ALSO, THE FIRST SCENE IS THE RED HOOD AK DLC!!!
WORDS: 7649 WARNINGS: VIOLENCE, FIREARMS, SURVIVOR’S GUILT, SMUT (hihi)
MASTERLIST
THE BULLET MASTERLIST
-----
Jump.
Glass shattering beneath his feet, the Red Hood dove in from the unknown above and landed meticulously on his knee and fist onto the cold hard ground. Black Mask’s goons were quick on their feet, but it wasn’t without the chilling spook instilled into their beating chests that came with every one of his unsuspected appearances.
“I would run if I were you!” Red Hood grabbed his two hand guns and open fired at the incoming company. About ten of them in the room, to his estimate. They brought out their fists, trembling no less, but it didn’t mean they wouldn’t be up to a fight. The vigilante started with the left. Leaping towards the black masked goon, he slammed the back of his gun against his head, whilst narrowly avoiding a hit from another. From behind, he could feel another about to take him, so he let the thug grab him before he laid it on him with a series of elbow shots left and right until his body was too limp to even move. He threw him from behind, over his back, then Red Hood shot him in the head.
The others must have thought he wasn’t really going to willingly kill. Surprise, surprise. He was.
Another three shots at one of them. He backflipped, landing a kick to a man’s chest before he shot his neck. He turned around and hit a head with his closed fist. A fucking barrel of gasoline came flying to his way. At the last second, he grabbed it with both arms and hauled it over to two heads. “You better hit harder than that!” one of them said.
“You get points for trying!” Red Hood sputtered as he fired his guns at an onslaught from three men just about to collapse. Then the gate started to rise. Reinforcements. Now, we’re talking.
Two of them had electrified sticks in their hands. Cute. Just like the ones from the militia. He just aimed at their head and in no time, they ended up on the ground. A dozen of them were after him now, and without much of a fight, Red Hood slowly took them out one by one, leaping in the air, landing a kick or two at one before jumping to the next to land his fist at wherever. He stunned one of them, then right before any of them could interfere, he started landing a run of punches right to his chest, more than enough to fully take him down. Then he used his body as leverage to pull himself up, before hitting his head stronger than any concussion he could survive with.
A few more. His ammo was barely even out. He kept firing at anyone coming close to him, with his hits getting stronger and faster the more he landed a hit. He dodged one just as he was about to be grabbed and pinned to the ground, so with a flying kick, the thug’s body was sent to a wall.
Three. Two. One.
One more.
Red Hood walked over to the trembling Black Mask goon and grabbed him by the collar.
“Where’s Black Mask keeping the goods?!”
“You want information,” the man coughed. “Read a newspaper!”
“Wrong answer-“
The gun he held up to his head sent his arms flying and his whole body shaking beneath Red Hood’s hold. The man gave in. “Okay, okay! At the Docks! He’s keeping the guns at the docks!”
“Appreciate that!” Red Hood slammed his head with hi gun, landing him onto the floor, then without further thought, he placed a bullet right into his skull.
Penguins shipment must have just arrived. The docks shouldn’t be too far off.
-----
She didn’t stay in the hospital longer than the doctor forced her too. He hadn’t slept. Demanded to be placed in the same room as she was. He told himself he was okay enough to take care of her when he was just as equally in need of help. But he ignored the pain. She needed him.
Jason walked over to her hospital bed. She wasn’t even asleep. She was sitting up, knees folded up to her probably aching chest. Her eyes have never looked so empty and dead. She was cold to touch, her eyes dark circled with bags and bloodshot. She didn’t turn to him. And if there were tears, they had dried out after the past nights of endless torturous crying over something she couldn’t go back to.
When Jason reached for her hand, she broke down. For the hundredth time, she cried. And even when he could feel the guilt pulling her away from letting him hold onto her, he mustered up all the strength he could, held her to his chest and felt the tears seep into his clothes. It stung. Everywhere. On his skin, and within his chest no medication could reach.
-----
The weapons were all at the docks, alright. Black Mask couldn’t have made it more obvious. Never mind it saying ‘Gotham Hardware’ at the middle. His goons had their masks on stupidly as if a big fat ‘Illegal Shipment Happening Here!’ neon light up sign was flashing through the street.
Red Hood climbed up a metal beam and turned on his heat censors.
“You’re all about to discover crime doesn’t pay…” he whispered.
One of them had a bullet proof vest. There were eleven of them. All heavily armed. He’s going to have to take all these morons out silently.
He started with the bullet proof one. Might as well get him over with. He grappled over to the center, grabbed onto the ledge just below the railing where he couldn’t be seen.
Then when the man walked close enough, Red Hood flipped himself over to let his feet land onto his head. He twisted his neck with his incredibly strong thighs, then his fist met his face. One down. He fired his gun at an armed guard who caught sight of him and he was down after just three shots.
His own bullet wounds started to sting, but at that point he barely went through a day without an injury just slightly holding him back. Red Hood swung over to the control area where the beams were to be moved around and crouched down before one of them saw him. He hid behind a weapons crate, waited until he was inside, then just as he was out of anyone else’s sight, Red Hood crept up from behind and outrightly snapped his neck. “Worthless ape,” he muttered.
Another one nearby. He just shot him in the head when he wasn’t looking with the gun right up against his temple. The fifth one was all the way to the other side, just by himself, so he took out both guns and fired mercilessly at his chest. He fell over the ledge and his cold, bloodied body was spilled out onto the ground.
The others started finding the bodies. He heard one of them scream his name. Red Hood waited behind the crates for another to climb up a ladder, then he snapped his neck again just to keep his silence. He left him on the ground.
Not one of them had managed to land a hit on him yet. He was starting to get bored. Through the night, taking advantage of their fear and the darkness to his favor, the Red Hood terrorized the whole of the docks, sending one body lie cold after another. Some of them, he just subdued, but when he felt like it, he snapped their necks or placed a bullet into their heads. Tonight, he was so feeling it.
Turns out a lot of them wore bullet proof vests. Didn’t mean he killed them any less viciously.
Two of them huddled together by doorway. Red Hood grappled up, flipped over the railing with the goons’ backs turned to him, then without any of them taking notice, he grabbed the back of one’s collar, flipped him over to the other one’s body, then when both were on the floor, he shot them.
The last one, the same as the other, on the ground shivering as Red Hood approached him with a big hand gun coming for his head. His voice was clear through his visor. “I want a word with your boss, Black Mask. Where is he?”
“You ain’t gonna kill me! You ain’t gonna kill me!!!”
Damn Bruce’s moral code and how it’d affected Gotham’s crime monkeys. This wasn’t the first time they taunted him for not actually being able to take lives.
“Do I look like Batman to you?” he growled. “Rethink your answer before I fill you up with lead…”
The henchman mustn’t have been paid too much because he immediately gave in.
“Downtown. In his office. But you ain’t gonna kill him. He knows you're coming, freak!”
He slammed his visor onto the man’s black mask. On the ground, through the eye holes, Red Hood could see what every man had on their eyes before death came in to consume him.
“Good,” he said, then he shot him in the chest.
-----
Nothing has ever hurt more.
It had already been a few weeks. She hasn’t let him do so much as touch her. Never. Never has she ever been so distant, so consumed in her own guilt that even he didn’t have an answer to. He can tell himself it wasn’t her fault as much as it wasn’t his. But he knew, she knew, that at the end of the day, it was her doing. And he was never going to outrightly admit that. And even if it was true, when at last, he does believe it was because of her, he’d already forgiven her. How couldn’t he?
How could he let all this built up anger get the best of what they had? She meant everything to him, always had. And now, she was solely the only thing he’s got. He can't let this take over what they had. But he couldn’t even tell her that. Not when she hadn’t spoken anything over the littlest words of bland acknowledgement, yes or no’s every now and then. She hasn’t kissed him, held him. But when she does speak, it’s in cries of bitter horror asking him for the forgiveness he never wanted out of her.
Laying on opposite sides of the bed, he stared out into the window. She wasn’t asleep. He could tell. Jason shifted in the bed so he could face her.
The sheets formed her figure, and he could see just how beautiful she was even in such sadness. He really, really wanted to hold her. Because as much as this was hurting her, it was hurting him, too. They’d both lost. And they were supposed to be in this together.
He reached out to her shoulder, and after letting him touch her for the shortest moment, Y/N moved away. He fell asleep that night, only out of exhaustion, with endless tears flooding their pillows.
-----
The pain. It never faltered. Never hindered with anything he’s ever sought to try.
It was always there. Every bullet he shot, every neck he’s snapped. It all goes back to everything he’s lost. Everything he’s ever loved. He reached Black Mask’s office and he’d been mindlessly firing his bullets at everyone who was in his way. He didn’t care, never gave anyone much of a thought. He wasn’t a hero, but he was killing villains. Fuck what he was. He didn’t have anything to hold onto anymore.
Red Hood got to a group of unarmed men, and with a long stretch of his neck, he gripped onto his guns, head craned down. “Useless dogs,” he growled. Then already he’s flipped one of them over to the ground at a hard slap against the side of his face. He fired his guns, left and right, then flipped over so his feet landed on someone, anyone’s face. Their fucking masks on were practically to no use. He used to them hit their heads harder, as if the butt of his guns or his fists already weren’t enough. A number of them were scattered around, but not one of them landed a single hi-
A large blow to his back. He almost-almost­­-fell to the ground, but he stretched out his spine, turned around, and the goon in question was backing away from Red Hood’s obviously larger frame. He blew his brains out before he could move any further. Two of them went after him at the same time, and he flew in the air, grabbed their heads, then smashed them against each other.
The doors flew open.
Roman Sionis. Black Mask. In an untainted white suit. Probably his worst enemy. The man, not the suit. The crime lord held out his fists and screamed, “Big mistake coming here! Big mistake!”
Red Hood rolled his eyes, then dodged just as a sniper’s red laser managed to get a good shot of him. He jumped, his leg landing against two necks cracking beneath his boot. “This is gonna hurt,” Black Mask said.
“Blah, blah, keep on yapping,” Red Hood fired two shots at him and jumped over to another henchman just about to hit his head with a lead pipe. Alternating between his fists and feet, Red Hood took them all out one after the other, shooting at Black Mask when the last bullet wasn’t enough. He flew in the air, he jumped against walls, he moved so swiftly not one of them could catch him in the middle of a strike. One of them got too close to an electrical control box and he slammed his head into the board.
When at last, Black Mask was the only one left, his henchmen’s bodies scattered about on the floor, Red Hood, growling beneath his breath, grabbed the smaller man by the collar and hauled him up in the air.
“Black Mask,” he said. “You shoulda left when you had the chance…”
Red Hood pushed him against a glass window, and he held onto the one hand on his neck.
“Y-you don’t need to do this,” he trembled. At least his men put up more of a fight. This coward didn’t even take long to give in. “Whatever you want! Please. I’ll take a plane. Leave Gotham. Never show my face again. Anywhere you want. I’ll go anywhere!”
As if that’s ever done any good for anyone.
“How about you go to hell…”
His boot, right up against his chest. Red Hood pushed him into the window and it broke at the impact. Roman Sionis fell to his death five stories above ground.
“Say hi to Joker for me…”
-----
For the first time in weeks, Y/N crawled over to his side of the bed, his chest warm and naked and all the tensions, his muscles frozen over, it all felt infinitely better at her touch. She wrapped her arms around his body from behind, her chin against his shoulder. “I love you…” she said into his ear.
Jason held her arm and placed a kiss onto her wrist. He felt tears seep into his chest. And that was all there is. Maybe, this was the first step at getting better. He closed his eyes, hoping tomorrow had something better in store.
He never realized that was her saying goodbye.
Jason woke up to an empty bed.
No.
No. No. No. No.
Everything was gone. Her clothes. Her guns. All her stuff. It was all gone. It couldn’t be… She would have been preparing for so long.
But everything was still there before he went to bed. Even her toothbrush was gone from the cup on the sink. How could she have taken everything and wiped out all traces of her in so little time?
No. Fucking no.
He tore up the apartment. He looked through the only three rooms they had. Nothing. Like she was nothing but a dream he’d conjured up this whole time. The most wonderful, dangerous dream.
Jason sank to the ground, hands trembling on his phone as he called her but to no end, no one answered.
-----
It was raining by the time he’d snuck out of the building. Out into the alleyways, where the winds were disrupted even when his hood concealed most of the cold, he leaned against the wall and stretched out his back, hand over his abs to feel for any of the stitches possibly ripped apart or any sigh of bleeding. There was a sting, but nothing too much to worry about.
Twenty-thousand dollars. Right inside a cash box in Sionis’s office where a bunch of them were counting the bills. He took them out and flashed through them with his fingers before stuffing them deep into his pants. He’ll have to get out soon. It wouldn’t be too long before they’ll find the bodies.
Red Hood walked into the alley; head faced down into the darkness. He placed his guns firm into his holsters and hissed his way through the pain. There was nothing much left for him to do. Black Mask was dead, probably the one asshole he’s had to deal with the most, other than Penguin and the rest. It had always been Sionis who he’s messed with for more than two years now. He finally killed him. After all this time.
He didn’t know what was about to happen next, what happens to his empire. He and Deadshot used to take them out one by one. Gotham’s biggest crime families. Just two days ago, she took out Sal Maroni, the last of her debt to Falcone. And what usually happens was that their money, their weapons cache, their drug crates, they all usually get turned up to the police.
Further down the alleyways, he found a place where he could change and take off his visor.
His feet stepped into the puddles into the cracks of the ground and the raindrops fell seeping into his clothes. He stopped when he saw a dark figure standing in between the walls of the alley not so far from him. As a light from a car passed by, he saw bright flashes of blue glisten from his black suit. And in his hands, the figure held onto two escrima sticks.
Red Hood’s hand went over to his gun, then he heard something else from behind him, jumping from one of the rooftops. He turned around.
Red and yellow. He could see it from the lamppost enlightening the other side of the alley. A domino mask on his face. A long Bo staff held over his shoulder.  
Nightwing and Robin stared at him from opposite ends, then they made their way to the center.
Red Hood didn’t even flinch. “This is why I have two guns.”
He grabbed the two from his holsters, holding them out to opposite ends, then started firing at will at wherever he could. Nightwing flipped over his back, missing the bullets, then Robin jumped towards a trash bin to avoid the shots.
“Jason!”
“What the fuck do you assholes want now?!”
He kept firing, then Nightwing was first to climb out from hiding, swiftly running sideways against the wall. Red Hood focused fire on him, then when he felt Robin come up from behind, he turned around to swing his arm, but Robin ducked just in time.
A kick to his back, from Nightwing’s stupid leotard-covered leg. Red Hood fired his gun at his direction but Nightwing had flew up in the air, the way only an acrobat can do, and landed his knee against Red Hood’s visor.
“You killed Black Mask!” Robin screamed.
“You can't hold anything against me-“
“We just saw you come out of Black Mask’s hideout with fifty other dead bodies!” Nightwing tried to grab him in a headlock, but Red Hood butted his head into his nose and elbowed him out of the way.
Robin tried blocking Red Hood’s blows with his staff, spinning it around to create some sort of shield from his hits. Nightwing landed a few hits on his shoulder with his own sticks, but Red Hood didn’t falter.
Until he was hit right in the stomach by Robin, making his knees tremble at the shooting pain until he kneeled to the ground.
“You fucking replacement-“
“Nightwing, watch out!”
Red Hood shook off the pain, started for the wall so make him run right up to it and spin around, open firing at every direction he can aim at.
“You two can fucking try.”
“Jason, just stop!”
“Why the fuck would I stop!?”
“Come with us to the safehouse-“
He almost shot Nightwing in the shoulder if he didn’t move in time. They kept leaping, dodging his bullets, then Robin started for his limbs but he could only land so many hits.
“Why?! Because Bruce is gone, you think I’m just gonna come crawling back to you?” he snorted. “I don’t believe for a second that that dickhead’s dead.”
“Why would we lie about that?” Nightwing said.
“You people lie about everything!”
“Jason-“
“You, shut up!” He pointed the gun at Robin. They’d stopped fighting. They just stood each other off, hands up. Robin held his head high despite the muzzle being pressed right against his forehead. “You don’t get to talk.”
“Robin’s only trying to help-“
Red Hood laughed a grim, throaty chuckle. “I want either of you morons to pinpoint the exact point in time when I asked for your fucking help.”
“This isn’t how we do things-“
“This is how I do things. I don’t play by Bruce’s stupid code anymore. And I swear, the next time you show up bringing this with you,” he shuffled the gun against Robin. “I’ll put a bullet into both your skulls.”
“Jason-“
He shot the ground just where Nightwing was standing. The older man breathed, panted at the sight of near death. He looked up to where Red Hood’s eyes would be. “Either you come with us, or we take you to the police. You’ve killed too many.”
“Good luck catching me.”
“Commissioner, do you copy?”
GCPD’s radio signal. It started blaring out from Nightwing’s communicator loud enough for all of them to hear.
“Two vehicles on pursuit. We have eyes on Deadshot driving a pizza truck in Drescher.”
“Sending coordinates.”
Nightwing was just about to turn off the radio when Red Hood spun around, kicking both of them in the knees, before popping out a smoke bomb.
He grappled up to the roof. “Where the hell is he going?!” Robin yelled.
Red Hood didn’t give them a second look. He jumped up and around from rooftop to rooftop. He could feel them coming his way, either to put him down or see why he was suddenly so keen on brushing them off.
He turned on his own comms.
“Attempting rolling roadblock.”
“She’s losing control. Calling for backup.”
Shit. Shit. Shit. The woman can drive a tank but she has no idea how to drive a fucking pizza truck.
He turned his head back, with Nightwing and Robin still on his tail. Pulling out his gun, he started firing at them but kept his speed.
“We’re coming with you!”
“This is my fucking fight, Grayson! Just stay away!”
He jumped into a roof too far for his feet to reach. Grabbing onto the edge with just his fingers, Red Hood barely pulled himself up. Nightwing’s leaner physique and acrobatic abilities allowed him to backflip through the distance and Robin’s cape helped him glide much more smoothly. He snorted.
A bike. Just nearby at the sidewalk. He jumped off the side, hands and feet slowing his descent towards the ground, and as swiftly as he could, Red Hood reached the ground and jumped onto the vehicle. He started the ignition, and just before the two could reach him, he’d sped off into the streets.
-----
Maybe going after one of El Penitente’s drug houses wasn’t such a good idea when cops were in the middle of a gathering in a nearby pizza parlor.
And maybe it wasn’t a good idea to steal one of the trucks to get out of the place just because she couldn’t find a single bike nearby.
This time, she wasn’t there on an assignment. She chose Penitente’s Cartel because of their operations reaching out to an elementary school. Of course, it wasn’t without stealing from one of their cash boxes. She wasn’t in this for free.
But it didn’t matter how much money she had on her now when she was running for her life, driving a damn pizza truck around Founder’s Island with three police cars on her tail. The roads were roaring of sirens, car horns, noises. She took a sharp turn at an intersection and the truck almost fell over at the weight. Fuck.
“Attempting rolling roadblock,” she heard one of the cops say into an intercom. She stepped on it, and running past the traffic with the cars steering out of the way. She cursed repeatedly as two cars started to surround her sides.
So she turned into an alleyway barely able to fit the truck inside. Running over trash bins and sacks and probably a cat that was too slow to get out of the way, the police cars came up behind her. She was met with another road, then she turned to the side, facing the incoming traffic. FUCK.
Left. Right. Left. The truck was fucking heavy. Like she was actually lugging it around. She managed to steer into the right side of the road without running anyone over and stepped on the gas. She was running out of fuel. As if the world hadn’t already been so cruel to her.
As she passed an intersection, the cops caught up behind her.
A motorcycle, speeding like a bullet to her side. It caught her attention as she heard the driver yell out to her. She glanced at him and almost choked at the sight of a red hood.
“Fucking-“
“PULL YOUR WINDOW OPEN!”
“GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY!”
But as she pushed on the gas, Red Hood only seemed to go faster. “DEADSHOT!”
“LOOK OUT!”
Red Hood swerved just as he was about to hit a pole. Then he kept to her side, slamming his fist against the car door. Deadshot turned further away from her and saw the cops coming nearer.
“JUST LET ME IN!”
“NO!”
Red Hood grunted, then he disappeared. She turned left and right, away from the cars too slow to move out.
Then before she could notice Red Hood coming from the other side of the truck, he had leapt all the way over to the window, pushing his boots against the glass so it broke upon impact. Deadshot blocked herself from the shards, then shot him a deathly glare as he sat on the passenger seat.
“MISS ME?”
“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!”
“EYES ON THE ROAD!”
She turned before she hit an old lady on the pedestrian lane.
“What are you trying to do?!”
“Helping you. You can't get out of this alive.”
“Excuse me?!”
A police car, just at her left, so close to coming to her window. “Shit-“
“Let me drive-“
“I can take this!”
Another sharp turn, then the truck was so close to falling over, they felt the weight on themselves.
“Okay,” she gulped. “You drive.”
She climbed over Red Hood’s lap over to the passenger side, then Red Hood took the wheel, slammed on the gas, then sped through the roads.
“Won't use your whole arsenal of weapons on your back?”
“I’ve sworn off killing cops.”
He swerved just enough to hit the police car’s left side. It skidded into the road, but not enough to stop it. “What do we do?”
“We’re gonna crash this thing!”
“What?!”
“Got your grappling gun ready?”
Crime Alley. He’s headed for Crime Alley. The cars around them were frantically turning around and they were practically running on two wheels at this rate. Why did she have to pick a fucking truck?!
“Get your gun and fire at the air!”
To scare people off. They’ll set themselves aside. Deadshot grabbed her pistol, pointed it at the sky just outside her window and started firing relentlessly into nothing. People were screaming out of the way, and the cops started calling in backup. One of the pedestrians jumped onto the sidewalk just as he crossed the road and another threw himself at a window for safety. The streets have never been so chaotic.
But then again, this was Gotham. It continues to surprise itself.
“On my count, shoot at the windshield!”
Deadshot held onto her gun like her life depended on it. At the sharp turn over to a corner, just for the split second they were out of the cop’s sight, Red Hood fully turned the wheel until the truck finally gave out and fell onto its side.
They grabbed onto the seats, holding their heads. Sparks started to fly out onto the now secluded streets and the truck drifted against the ground. “Now!”
She fired at the windshield, then they both kicked at the glass with their boots. Two grappling guns shot out onto the nearest rooftops it could reach and they fled out of the truck just as it skidded into a sidewalk and crashed.
And just as the police came to the scene, Red Hood and Deadshot had disappeared.
The cops went up to the truck.
“Thought you said those guys broke up?”
“They don’t exactly keep you updated on vigilante relationships on TMZ, now do they?”
-----
She couldn’t possibly think he’d just go away after that.
Crime Alley. It was deserted, despite the fact that at this time it should already be littered with thugs and maybe a robbery somewhere if you looked hard enough. Deadshot landed her feet onto a puddle, followed by another set of boots slamming against the ground behind her.
She started walking towards the light, at the streets, but she felt a hand reach for her shoulder.
So the first thing she did was turn around and kick him in the chest, right where she knew the bullet wounds would hurt the most.
“Fuck!” he landed on the ground. “What was that for?!”
“Why can't you just leave me alone!?”
“I saved your life-“
“I didn’t need you to save it!”
Red Hood got up to his feet and ran in front of her, stopping her from walking any further. “Lately you’ve been out of control-“
Deadshot scoffed under her white mask. “So you decide to play the hero and step in? Stir trouble over at the other side of the city in Chinatown so they’d leave me alone? Or kill Black Mask right before you knew he was about to hire me the next day?!”
“I’m not sayin-“
“Say it! Say I’ll be dead without you! Convince me that I need you so much so I’ll come crawling back!”
“That’s not what I’m trying to do!”
“Then what!?” her muffled screams echoed into the darkness.
“Is it so wrong that I’m looking after you!?” He stepped forward and his larger body pushed her back.
“I don’t need you to look after me.”
“You think you can fucking stop me?”
Deadshot pushed his chest with her arms, but he caught her wrists, twisted them so she’d fall off before she could grab him.
“I swear. The next time I see you following me-“
“You’ll what?”
Deadshot looked up at his visor and stared him down with what little he could see of her eyes. Her optics glowed, and she hoped it blinded him from such close distance.
“Just. Leave. Me. Alone.”
“You’re insane-“
That’s it. This asshole’s gonna pay.
A swing of her leg, right against his head. Red Hood flew over to the wall and Deadshot grabbed his jacket to fling him over to the other side of the alley.
“I’m not here to fight!”
“I wasn’t either!”
She ducked before Red Hood’s arms could come and grab her, then she started for her leg, pulling him down to the ground. With his boots, he kicked her down, grabbing her with her mask so he could push her against the wall.
“Don’t ever call me crazy-“
“Then what is it with all these suicide missions!? You trying to get yourself killed?!”
She held onto the hand grabbing her collar. “Shut up!”
A knee managed to reach up to his chin. Red Hood backed off, stretching his jaw, then Deadshot started flinging her fists over to his visor. Some he could block, some he couldn’t. Her punches got stronger but it wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle. Not without her guns.
Red Hood grabbed her fists and pushed her away, then with his arm, he grabbed her into a headlock really making sure she couldn’t squirm out of it.
“Enough!”
A gun. She managed to grab one from her holster. She slammed it against his head and shot up into the sky, right up against Red Hood’s ear.
He hissed at the noise for the slightest split second, then pulled out his own gun.
Right where they were two years ago. Pointing their guns at each other when both of them knew none of them would pull the trigger.
“Put the gun down,” Red Hood said. “You really gonna shoot me?”
“I just might.”
She wouldn’t. He knew she wouldn’t. Even with the mask over her face, he could see her features soften the way it did when she was looking at him.
So Red Hood lowered his gun first, dropped it to the ground.
“Go ahead.”
Fuck.
She hated it when he did this, challenge her into doing something so vile and cruel just as he did at the militia. It was nothing more than when he’d ask her to put a bullet into someone’s skull when he felt like it.
She wanted him to take off that fucking visor and look at her right at her face when he did this.
Deadshot dropped her gun, then her hands went over to her head just to squeeze the pain out of her scalp.
“Fuck!” she growled.
“Y/N…”
Jason raised his visor and his hood.
How his eyes screamed out to her, asked her to be calm, to be how she would be towards him if they weren’t in this alley. The look that had always been the one thing she could hold onto, to keep her on the ground and at the same time fly her all the way up to the sky.
Y/N took off her mask.
And she turned around before looking at him just became too much.
“God…” she whispered to herself. “What have I done…”
“Come back to me… Please…”
“Jason-“
He stepped in front of her, backing her against the wall. She looked up and all she wanted to do was kiss him.
“I want you back… Please come back.”
“Jay-“
“I blame myself just as much as you do.”
“You told me so,” she bit back the tears, the crack on his voice. Looking up, his face getting closer to hers. “The look on your face when we were at that hospital…”
“I’d never say that…”
“I’m so sorry…” she cried. Something was blocking her throat from coming up with any else for her to say. Jason’s gloved hands, though stiff and cold, felt comfortable holding her face. She held his wrists. She wanted them there. So much. But further more and she’ll never be able to let go. She tried to pry them away, but his hold was too strong.
Fuck, his breath. His voice. His face. She wanted to have him, pull his hand and go over to her place for the night…
“You're the only one for me-“
“Don’t go there-”
“You are.”
“I said don’t.”
That’s when Jason froze at the pursing glare shooting right from her eyes and onto his own. She grew stiff, then started to push him back.
“I was clearly not the only one-”
Jason exhaled a long, shaky whip of air. “What?”
“You think you're the only one following me around?” she scoffed. “I saw you bring in a few women into the apartment.”
“You left me-“
“Don’t go around saying you were so fucking loyal-”
“Y/N, they meant nothing.”
“Don’t say it,” she breathed. “It’s a surprise you still claim not to be over me at all.”
A hand to his chest, but this time he stood firm.
Then it was his turn to push her body against the wall.
“You have no idea…” he growled against her face. Actually growled. Low cracking at the pit of his voice. His breath hot, right up against her mouth. He made sure his body guarded around her so she couldn’t move. His chest, pressed right up against her. “Those women I’ve used… Just to get over you…”
She was shaking, not so much as terrified as she was feeling some kind of surge up to her head. His voice, it was comparable to a lion’s before it pounced at a gazelle.
“You know how much I hate putting myself out there to people I don’t trust but I was fucking ruined after you left. So I tried it. Just a few times. I kept my clothes on. I didn’t let them see or touch me. But I fucked them. Exactly like we used to the first time. Just to see if it could make me forget you.”
“Jason, stop-“
But his arms caged around her. She shut her eyes, felt his nose trail up to her forehead. She didn’t want him to feel how much she was trembling. Not at fear. No.
Jason’s lips, hovering over hers so intensely close. She could feel them touch, ever so softly just enough to feel the friction but not hard enough to actually kiss. Y/N wanted so badly to close the distance between them.
“I tried so fucking hard, then I ended up screaming your name when I came-“
“Fuck, Jay.”
Still, she couldn’t move, though her efforts to do so were getting less and less.
“Then I realized you’re the only one I’ll ever want to fuck. You know why?”
With his arms, so large and enticing, he flipped her over so she faced the wall. She tried to keep off the wet cement but Jason was pressing against her back.
She could move now. Out of the way. Push him back and leave for good.
But, god almighty, she didn’t want to.
His head came up to Y/N’s shoulder, and with her hand, she touched the side of his face. “Why…” she asked him.
Jason pushed his hips against her ass.
“They couldn’t get my cock to be as painfully hard for them as you do…”
“Shit,” she moaned, his breath painfully hot against her neck.
“They weren’t as soaking wet for me as your pussy gets even when I just breath into your ear… Just like this.”
And he did just that, whispering against her ear despite her hair in the way. Y/N was up against the wall, cheek against the cement.
Then her eyes rolled to the back of her skull when Jason reached in to cup her pussy. “Oh!”
Not being touched for so long, she just might cum right then and there. If he moved even the slightest bit, despite all the layers of her suit, she’ll cum. “Fuck!”
“It doesn’t even come close when I had you bent over my desk being fucked like you weren’t the Commander of my militia army-“
She tried to grind against his palm, closing her eyes, imagining just that memory she’d memorized despite the years.
“And when they came,” he pressed a finger further into her hole despite the gloves he had on. “It’s not as fucking satisfying as watching you shake and scream out my name… even with just my fingers.”
When her pussy lips had opened up enough for him to feel her clit, his fingers firmed up, then he started slowly rubbing over the thick layers of her suit. She cried out, but he kept his mouth too far for her to conceal her moans with.
“That’s it…” he breathed against her ear when she kept grinding. “You miss this, don’t you?”
“Yes!” She grabbed his hair and pulled to make the goodness ease up, but she was so fucking wet, she could hear it even from there. Y/N pressed her forehead against the bridge of his nose, then Jason started digging his teeth into whatever skin she had that was exposed near her jaw. “You’re mine…”
“Jason…”
Police sirens. Coming from outside the alley. They stopped and turned their heads to wherever the sounds came from.
When the car had passed, Crime Alley was empty.
-----
From above one of the buildings at Drescher, Red Hood and Deadshot stood over the ledge, watching the police frantically go about the city in search for them. They looked like ants from where they stood. Red Hood kept his hood on, but his visor was up.
Hands on their sides, feet on the ground as if ready to just jump onto the ledge from right across, they took in at how the city was, quite literally, at their feet. They weren’t welcome here. They were despised. But they were needed. In their own, sick little way.
Jason didn’t look at Y/N as he was the first to speak.
“I’m sorry,” he swallowed. “I don’t know what came over me…”
“It’s… Don’t apologize.”
Jason reached over to hold her arm, expecting the same rejection as before. Her pushing him away, backing off, leaving before anything else were to happen.
But she welcomed his touch. A flood of cool relief went over his body when she did. Y/N, without her mask on, closed her eyes and touched his hand with her fingers over his skin.
Then he pulled her closer until his arms were fully around her, encasing her into his chest. She did the same and hugged his neck so tightly, it didn’t even matter the suit he wore or the armor between them. Jason pressed their foreheads together, eyes closed, feeling her body, her warmth that he yearned for so much.
Hands on the sides of his face, thumb brushing over the brand on his cheek, Y/N broke down. “I’m sorry…”
“Stop that.”
“I made you lose everything…”
Jason pulled her even tighter, then his lips met her cool skin.
“Only when you left…”
He let go of her waist so he could look so deeply into her eyes with his hands holding onto her cheeks.
“If it’s what you want, I’ll leave you alone. For good. It’s your choice now…”
A tear down her face. She closed her eyes before any more could seep out and fall.
“But if you come over to the apartment tonight, I swear, I’ll never let you go again, no matter what you or anyone else does to keep us apart.”
She kissed him, lips unmoving yet still so powerful and silent. The cold Gotham winds couldn’t pull them apart. Nothing can. If she chooses not to…
When Jason left, she was at the rooftop for hours on end, fighting against herself for her own life.
-----
Not a single light turned on.
His eyes were bloodshot. From the past three bottles of booze he had at the side of his bed. The last one he’d thrown against the wall.
Encompassed with the same cloud of loneliness, defeat, helplessness that he had to succumb over the passing months, it had been hours. For just the slightest, yet slowest moment, he thought she would actually give in this time.
But he should have known. Her stubbornness. Her will. He never should have expected her to come.
Then, he guessed, this meant it was over.
Love. A fucking torment to his life he never should have given into.
Another bottle would help.
Still just a bit tipsy, Jason walked away from his bed, hand on the wall, then he walked over to the kitchen to grab one from the fridge. He tore the cap open with his bare hands and drank almost a third of it in one gulp.
Hands over the counter, he closed his eyes. This wasn’t the reality he had to face. It couldn’t possibly be.
He was so into his thoughts, he almost completely neglected the light coming in from the bathroom.
Jason walked over to the bathroom door to turn it off before going to bed.
Only to stop his tracks when he saw her, through the slightest creek of the open door, her back turned over with her hair undone and over her shoulders.
Fuck.
Y/N must’ve known he was watching.
Because she took off her suit, slipped it off her arms, then her bare back stared at him so deliciously perfect and waiting for his lips to kiss every part of it.
Fuuuuck.
And she took so long just fixing her hair, head ever so slightly turned to his direction. Jason stood frozen, jaw on the ground, then he swore he had to hold back a small yelp when she bent over to take her pants off, along with her underwear. She even arched up her back to make her body look even hotter than it already was.
Completely naked. Beautiful. Absolutely flawless. Y/N didn’t glance behind her when she walked over to the shower, then let the boiling hot steam fog up the air.
Fuck.
Yes.
Not too long after, Jason slipped out of his clothes, pulled the glass door of the shower open.
Then when Y/N looked over her shoulder, he shut it behind him.
 -----
MASTERLIST
THE BULLET MASTERLIST
-----
everyartistwas-firstanamateur  @sarcasmismyfirstlove @damned-queen-of-gotham @idkmanicantenglish @wunderstell @birdy-bat-riya @get-loki@everyday-imfangirling @comic-nerd-dc@multifandoms916 @icequeen208@offendedfishnoises@egdolan@xemiefx @arkhamtoddler@elsenthal@mythicbitchx@supremehaunter burning-alive  @lucy-roo  roseangel013bf @ loxbbg  reclusive-chicken-nuggethttp-cherriesshadowsndaisiesriver9noblezphilophobiazannoylinglyaries@knightfall05x @l-horizon11flowersgirl02
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princessjungeun · 4 years
Text
Nothing Can Pull Us Apart
Request: Hii, could I please request an angsty Yeji scenario where her girlfriend hasn’t come out to her family because they are homophobic but she’s accidentally outed one day and they don’t react well at all and disown her, but she knows Yeji has been stressed about a comeback and doesn’t want to add to the stress so she doesn’t tell her, which results in her distancing herself from Yeji, only worrying her even more. Angst with a happy ending please. Thank you in advance :)
CW: Homophobia, accidental outing
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“Hey Mrs. L/N look at the pictures we took!” Your long time best friend, Yerim waved her phone around excitedly. The two of you as well as a few other friends went to the beach for the weekend, staying at someone’s beach house overnight. Your mom agreed to let you go only because she knew Yerim was going as well.
The mini vacation was quite fun, you took your girlfriend and Yerim took hers. As well as four other kids that went to school with you all, and Yerim’s older brother, the cool chaperone.
As far as your mom knew Yeji was just a close friend of yours, nothing more. But the truth was you and Yeji had been together for the past 11 months. The two of you concealed your relationship knowing your mother would probably make you break up, or worse if she found out.
You snapped out of your thoughts and busied yourself trying to unpack so you could just go to sleep. The sound of Yerim’s happy voice and your mother laughing along filled your house.
Not paying any mind to them you threw your dirty clothes in a laundry basket, and folded the clean ones before putting them away. Now was when you noticed the house fell completely silent.
The silence hung over for at least three minutes, as if everything just came to a stop at once. You had a bad feeling but tried your best to push it aside, deciding you’d unpacked enough for tonight.
“Y/N. Come here please.” Your mother’s voice echoed through the hallway. By her tone she seemed upset, slightly angry, and a little sad?
You noticed Yerim’s phone still in your mother’s hand, with Yerim standing with watery eyes next to her.
“What is this?” Turning the phone so you could see what was on the screen, your mother moved her hand closer so you could see.
It was a picture of you and your friends sitting around a campfire. Yeji was sitting on your lap, her hand laced with yours. You held your finger on the screen activating the live photo feature. Watching the scene flash before your eyes, the scene of Yeji kissing you on the lips.
“I-I’m...She’s um-” You tried to form sentences but you couldn’t. Yerim tried to interviene “it’s not that big a deal Mrs-”
Your mother cut her off “get the hell out of my house. Don’t even think of coming back either.” She continued to talk, her words laced with hate. Yerim grabbed your arm and led you outside, tears running down her face.
You watched as your best friend immediately panicked in front of you “Y/N i’m so sorry I didn’t realize that was even there...I’m so sorry. You can stay with me as long as you want, you know my mom won’t mind too-”
Wiping away her tears you told her “it’s fine...she was going to find out either way okay? It’s not your fault. I’m not upset with you. Come on let’s go to your place hmm?”
It’s been three weeks since you were kicked out and you moved in with Yerim and her family. They didn’t have a problem with you staying and honestly they preferred it this way. Finally you didn’t have to hide such a large part of your life.
The only one in your inner circle that didn’t know about all of this was the one person who mattered most, Yeji.
Your girlfriend had been so stressed out about her comeback these past weeks. She’d been getting up early in the morning to do vocal rehearsals and recordings, then dancing for hours into the night. You knew she barely had time to eat let alone sleep. So you knew for a fact there was no time for her to worry about you.
Although you had somewhere to stay and you were being well cared for, there was still a problem. On the outside you pretended to be unbothered. But on the inside you were falling apart. You’d become distant from most of your friends, not talking as much as usual. You barely ate anything, and what you did eat was because Yerim forced you to.
Laying on your back you blankly stared at the ceiling lost in your own thoughts. Your ringtone sounded, Yeji’s specifically, snapping you out of your thoughts. As much as you didn’t want to answer the call, you knew she’d worry more if you didn’t.
Answering the call you smiled weakly at seeing her face.
“Hi baby!” She excitedly smiled at you, her eyes curling into crescent moons.
You responded “hey...what’s up?”
She immediately noticed you weren’t in your room, “where are you? That’s not your room.”
Looking around you laughed “yeah I’m just sleeping at Yerim’s...”
Yeji smiled and asked “oh how is she, I haven’t seen her since we went to the beach a few weeks ago.”
Your stomach churned at the thought of the trip, remembering once again why you were at Yerim’s place.
Realizing you didn’t want to continue talking you replied “She’s fine...actually i’m really tired, I’ll call you tomorrow ok?”
The blonde frowned but gave in “ok...I’ll talk to you later. I love you.”
Smiling softly you told her “love you too.”
For the next couple days Yeji noticed that you had grown even more distant from her. You barely talked when she called you and from what she could see, you didn’t look good.
Usually Yeji was able to get you to talk about your troubles but this was different. No matter how much she pryed, you didn’t give in. Not knowing what else to do she called Yerim to see if she knew what was going on with you.
Yerim didn’t want to share what wasn’t really her business. So when she got a call from Yeji asking about what was going on, she didn’t know exactly what to do. As vaguely as she could, she told Yeji that you were going through a hard time. Beyond that she didn’t share any details, knowing it wasn’t her place to tell Yeji.
After weeks of nonstop work, Yeji was finally able to get a day off. So her first instinct was to call you asking if you two could see each other.
You were sound asleep when your phone went off, your ringtone jolting you awake. Squinting at the caller ID you slid your finger to accept the call.
“Hmmm?” You sleepily hummer wondering what she could want at 8 am on a Saturday.
Yeji asked “I finally have an off day... I miss you, can I come see you?”
Eyes opening wide you remember you still hadn’t told her you were living with Yerim. “I- Today isnt...I’m not feeling it today.”
She responded, her voice laced with sadness “are you sure?”
You felt your heart break upon hearing her response so quickly you told her “i’ll come to you ok? Maybe seeing you will make me feel better...”
Giving in you replied “yeah I’ll be over in a bit okay?” As much as you didn’t want to get out of bed, you knew Yeji would come to you if you didn’t show up in the next hour.
Knocking gently on the front door to her dorm you practiced a fake smile. The door swung open, Yuna standing in her pajamas half asleep.
“Y/N unnie! Are you okay? You look...off.” The girl rubbed her eyes sleepily while oncing you over. Before you could respond Yeji came from around the corner, a smile on her face.
“Yuna-yah, be nice!” Your girlfriend scolded the younger girl.
Holding your hand she led you to her bedroom, closing and locking the door behind her. Turning to you she pulled you closer to her body, an arm around your waist.
Her eyes met yours before she frowned “what’s wrong baby?”
You wiggles out of her grip and shrugged your shoulders “nothing...i’m fine.”
Yeji told you firmly “Stop doing this to me. You have been so distant these past few weeks and you won’t say why! Everytime I try to get something, anything out of you, you just shut me out. Are you mad at me? Is that what it is? What did I do?”
Hot tears rolled down her cheeks, her voice cracking as she spoke. She took a deep breath to compose herself, wiping away her tears. “Just- Please talk to me Y/N.”
Realizing that by keeping everything in you did more harm than good, you were overwhelmed with a feeling of guilt. You didn’t want Yeji to find out and worry about you. But that’s exactly what ended up happening even though you stayed quiet.
Deciding to just rip the bandage off, you simply stated “i got kicked out...”
Yeji looked up at you with wide eyes “What? What do you mean? When? Why?”
At this point you just decided to come clean, not wanting to cause your girlfriend any more pain.
“Yerim was showing my mom pictures from the trip and in one picture you kissed me. She got really mad as expected and told me to get out and not to come back. So I’ve been staying with Yerim since then, her parents don’t mind either.” When you finished talking you looked up to see your girlfriend frowning.
“Wait really? I’m sorry...this is my fault if I hadn’t done that you would still be home and-” You cut your girlfriend off from her anxious rambling.
Running your hands up and down her arms you told her “It wasn’t your fault. She was going to find out eventually, and it’s fine now.”
“Baby why didn’t you tell me? I could have helped you...” Yeji reached for your hands so she could intertwine your fingers.
You told her “I knew you were stressed about your comeback and I didn’t want to overwhelm you with something that wasn’t as important. Besides I’m fine now.”
Your girlfriend pulled you into her arms “If it involves you then it is important to me. Don’t ever think that you can’t tell me something, or that you shouldn’t tell me. No matter how busy or stressed I am, I’ll always be there no matter what. I need to know that we’re both okay...right?”
“Mmmm yeah I guess. Im sorry I didn’t talk to you, I didn’t mean to make you worry.” You held her tight and kissed her on the cheek making her blush.
“So what do you want to do now?” You asked poking her side playfully. She wiggled out of your grip before pouting and saying “cuddles?”
She poked her bottom lip out and puppy eyed you while reaching out for you from her bed. You gave in almost instantly, not being able to resist how cute she looked.
As soon as you were in bed you let her be your little spoon, her head resting on one of your arms. You wrapped your free arm around her waist and pulled her closer.
A soft giggle escaped her lips before she mumbled “you know I love you right?” You responded “of course...and I love you too more than anything.”
Placing a gentle kiss behind her ear you tightened your hold on her, happy that nothing would be able to keep you apart anymore.
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mrs-nate-humphrey · 3 years
Text
(submission) so while that au where serena comes out out of spite isnt ever going to get fully written (and what exists is pretty rough), i did go track down the doc, and i figured you might find what i had interesting. it follows:
“This doesn’t make any sense, because that would mean… that Eric is… and he’s not.” Her mom’s voice drops to practically nothing. “He’s just not.”
Eric looks pained, and Serena feels the same pain in her chest as she knows he does.
“Are you?” She finally turns to him, and the ache curls into a violent ball at their faces, at the way realization dawns. “Oh, God.”
He runs.
“Eric!” She shouts his name without thinking, shoving herself up from the table.
Fuck. Anger blisters in her chest, and Serena turns on her mother because Really? “Well, I’m sure you’ll be even happier to know I’m bisexual.”
The same terrible, silent shock reigns and Serena shakes her head as she shoves her chair the rest of the way back. “Great, Mom. That’s just great.”
She feels a hand on her arm and yanks herself away from Georgina, remembering exactly how this happened.
“How dare you?” she spits, and runs after her brother.
His door is half-open when she stumbles to a stop at the edge of the hall, and Serena takes a moment to steady herself before slipping inside. She shouldn’t have said that. It was reckless, and there was a reason she hadn’t brought it up before, and it’s another thing Georgina knows now, but her mom’s face—
She closes her eyes, and takes a deep breath. Serena probably shouldn’tve done that, but Eric didn’t even get the choice about it.
She pushes the door open.
Eric mumbles a goodbye into his phone and flicks it shut at the sight of her.
“Who were you talking to?” she asks, deciding to start off easy on both of them.
He half-grimaces. “Chuck.”
“Wait, you called Chuck?” It’s only after she says it that she realizes it’s why he grimaced, but she wouldn’t take it back. It’s a warranted reaction.
“Yeah,” he says, sitting down at the foot of his bed, surprisingly undefensive. He always is. “I’ve been talking to him a lot lately. Guy’s got his faults, but he’s never judged me.”
Maybe not defensive, but armed. It hurts to hear him say that, probably even more because she knows it’s right. She pushes it back, and sits on the bed across from him. “I’m your sister. We’re us. You can tell me anything.”
“I wanted to, but it… it’s—it’s not the type of thing you blurt out on the way to school.” He thinks she means this, Serena realizes, or at least that’s where he’s sending the conversation and it’s her job to listen. “I was waiting for the right time. Dinner with Georgina definitely wasn’t. At all.”
She laughs, because he has no idea how right he is. “Yeah, and then I did.”
“Wait, what?” Eric’s eyebrows drop in confusion, and he leans towards her like he might’ve misheard.
“You like boys and not girls,” she says, gesturing loosely between them. “I like boys and girls. …And I kind of threw that at Mom.” 
Eric blinks at her. It hurts so, so much less than—
“But I’m sorry,” Serena tells him, taking his hand from between them. “About her, but mostly about me. I came back for you, but…”
He half-smiles, and saves her from trying to find the words. “Hey, I get it. It’s okay.”
“It’s really not.” She swallows, shaking her head. “I promise, though, I’m here now, and I love you.”
“I love you, too.” His smile widens into a proper grin, and she knows the hard part is over.
Which means she has to ask. “So ‘boyfriend’?”
“When I was at Ostroff, I met this guy. We were going through a lot of the same stuff, and now…” He shakes his head, grimacing. “Now that guy is dating Jenny.”
“Wait, you’re the mystery guy Asher was spotted kissing?” She winces, every Gossip Girl rumor about her she’d ever hated flashing through her mind, and squeezes his hand. “I know this isn’t how you wanted this to happen.”
Eric squeezes back, and lets go. “Yeah, I’m guessing this isn’t what you wanted either, but I think the important part is that it’s happening.”
“I’m so proud of you,” she says, because she is. He’s so much better than she ever was.
“Yeah,” he says, head ducking. “I think I’m gonna drop by Asher’s party. There’s one more person I have to talk to.”
Right. Boyfriend. Dan.
“I, uh, I guess there’s someone I need to talk to, too.” At least before Georgina throws this all over Gossip Girl, or figures out something worse to do with it.
He stands up, and offers her a hand, and they head out together. Mom and Georgina are both gone when they go through to get to the elevator, and Serena should probably be worried, but all she can feel is relieved not to have to deal with them.
She catches Dan just outside the coffee shop, and she can feel the usual giddiness at the sight of him and the relief to have found him mixing with the fear of rejection already settled in the pit of her stomach.
What results is a rambling greeting as she pulls him into a hug. “Oh, thank God you’re here. I’m so happy to see you. Hey.”
“I’m happy to see you, too.” He grins at her as he pushes her back, and thank God they’re okay right now. “You can meet Sarah.“
“Oh, I’d love to,” she says, pasting on a photo-ready smile, trying to shove down the petty jealousy the name sparks and the less than petty fear that’s been clawing at her the whole way here, “but there’s something really important I need to tell you first, can we talk?”
Dan blinks at her, with his familiar, startled, big brown eyes, and pulls her gently away from the door with the hand still resting on her arm. “Yeah, sure, what’s up?”
“I—“ She swallows. “I really like you. I love you, okay?”
“Oh-kay?” The startled look intensifies, and it’s so Dan that she wants to cry. “I mean, I love you, too, but…”
“Sorry, I just—“ She shakes her head, trying to breathe. “I want to make it clear that I’m not cheating on you, and I’m not breaking up with you.”
He frowns, confused, and slowly says, “That’s… good.”
She swallows, and meets his eyes, and—“I like girls.”
“Oh.” He blinks, and for one terrifying heartbeat there’s silence and then she watches everything click and the words pour out. “Oh! Okay, that’s cool. I, um, I’m really glad you told me.”
Happiness bubbles warm out of her stomach and she laughs, unthinking and relieved. “I’m really glad I told you.”
He smiles at her, soft and warm and she loves him so much, and turns half away from her. “Do you wanna go inside? Because if you want, we can just stay out here and—“
Someone yells his name and he spins, that overexaggerated Humphrey kind of moving. She follows and—
“…or not! Serena, this is Sarah. Sarah, Serena.”
Georgina smiles, and Serena’s heart stops.
She sees the text from Eric pretty much the second she hands Serena off to Nate and Chuck to haul up the stairs. have u seen s? she didnt come home last nite
She doesn’t bother texting back, just calls. Maybe he’ll know why she said—
Eric answers on the first ring, with “Please tell me you found her?”
“Yeah, but Eric—“ Serena nearly slips out of Nate’s hold on the top step, and fear chokes her for a moment. She breathes out slowly, and waits until everyone’s on level ground before continuing. “It’s bad. Like, ‘before she went away’ bad.”
There’s a sharp intake of breath over the phone.
“What the hell happened?” she hisses, because that was not nearly as startled as it should have been and the fact they were looking at all is a statement in and of itself.
Nate’s head pokes out the door, and he starts waving her over as the sounds of Serena vomiting begin echoing loudly–alongside Chuck’s equally loud dismay over his shoes. She grimaces, gesturing violently to the phone and mouthing “Eric!” until he seems to understand and give up.
“I…” Eric hesitates. “I’m not sure. She seemed fine the last time I saw her, yesterday before I came to the party, but it was after something pretty nasty happened with my mom. She’s still out looking right now, so—“ He swallows. “Just—once she’s sober enough, just tell her Mom… tell her Mom’s trying, and that she loves us.”
Blair purses her lips. “I need you to keep your mom from coming by.”
“Wait?” She can practically see Eric’s frown. “Why?”
“There’s something else going on.” Something that’s been going on since the SATs. She’s been trying to ignore the signs, but they’ve been there, and with what Serena said last night… She shakes off the thought. “She needs to talk about it, and that won’t happen with her mom there.”
There’s another long hesitation. “…I’ll do my best.”
“Thank you.” The retching suddenly increases in volume. “I’ve gotta go, bye.”
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kikosaurscave · 4 years
Text
The Cheater and The Bear Katsuki Bakugou x Reader
10/6/21: PLSSSSS THANK YOU FOR THE SUPPORT ON THIS FIC BUT I HATE IT. I love the plot but i hate how i brought on the story towards the end, its boring, quick and sloppy as well, sorry for that. Ill touch it up...later🦖🦕
A/N: Kinktober, I dont know when Ill be encouraged/inspired enough to finish it, besides its obviously already overdue. This was written in a little under 5 hours and I think its pretty good.
The Angst isnt too bad, a bit of a weak ending but its alright.
F/F= Fav Food F/A=Fav Animal F/C=Fav Colour F/D=Fav Drink
Fandom: Boku No Hero Acadamia (My Hero Acadamia
Genre: Angst
Warnings/Contains: Angst. Slight/mentions of; Insomnia, Cheating, Abuse and Death(Reader), Sicknesses(Unspecified) and Suicude(Not directly)
Word Count: 1,934
Angst Level: 2-3
Bakugou and Y/n have been dating since they graduated college, they live together and Bakugou has been coming home late because “his boss is asking him to do extra hours” y/n being a good girlfriend, stays up and waits for him to get home so she can help him calm down from the foul attitude he’d usually have.
Trying not to fall asleep most the time, she would rarely get some sleep just to make sure he’s alright.
What he really does while his GIRLFRIEND is slowly falling ill for his sake is gradually getting closer to his coworker, spending the late nights with her and not his own girlfriend.
Slowly, week after week he starts recognising the late hours he’d yell at y/n for ‘Not minding her own business’ when she asks ‘Where he was’ or ‘How he was’, he’d notice his coworker being nothing like y/n, for example; when y/n would hug him, he’d feel warm inside, not with her.
When y/n would compliment him, he could tell she meant it, but she didnt even bother to. When y/n would wait for him and care for him, though she didnt? It just wasnt the same at all, it felt useless, he felt weird, sad in fact, he didnt know how he felt but he knew that if he looked into the e/c eyes of the person he loved; he would practically fall apart.
Checking the mail when he arrived home to see a letter from their local doctor to his y/n and opening it to see that his girlfriend had a bad condition with no possible ‘cure’ or ‘last resort’ to help with her condition caused by stress and insomnia he was scared, he rushed inside the house, stressfully slamming the door shut and walking into the living room to find his what looked like a now fully alert girlfriend with dark bags under her widened eyes with her hair a little messy, she tried to keep it tamed, but the first thing she still asked him was if he was alright, then she checked his forehead for a temperature while he stared speechless at her, mouth ajared and eyes wide with regret, sadness, anything in remorse “Youre sick and you didnt tell me?” He managed to mutter out after grabbing a soft hold onto her hands, something he hadnt done in a while because all his touches to her were violent and dangerous, the way he just spoke to her was the calmest in weeks, months even because he had been noticing the raggedness in his throat whenever he left to work.
She looked down, sadly, “I tried telling you but you told me I was just lying and being selfish..” his breath hitched realising that she wouldn’t live because of him.
Sure she told him she was fine and he didnt need to worry or that it wasnt his fault but that only made him realise how selfless she was, how much she really loved him and how idiotic he was, he finally realised what an idiot he was, a dirty unloyal cheater is what he called himself, undeserving of the very person he vaguely remembered promising to himself that he would give his life and propose to, because, because? He didnt remember because his mind was poisened with the thoughts of the nights he spent with someone else.
He knew that the memories would rush into his mind either after she died or while he tried his best to care for her during her last few days, when he couldve been doing this for until they grew old together.
He didnt remember why he did what he did but he knew that would be the greatest regret of his life; destined to burn into his mind while he recited her very words about moving on and living his life as strong as he always did or at least now could-though she didnt say that last part herself, he knew its what he knows wont stay out of his mind.
And so the days went by, he had stayed home from work to comfort her while in denial about the inevitable death ((Unus Annus👀)) coming to her.
He gave as much love to her that he could, made her the food she desperately needed, made her feel as needed as she was to him, bathed her himself and made her feel comfortable.
Even when she knew he was cheating on her she never stopped loving him, making sure HE was alright even when her very own health was slowly dropping as the weeks passed.
She knew what he did and she still didnt stop caring for him and his health, not her own. She shuffled and shivered in his embrace, causing him to adjust the blanket on her while smiling softly, the other rested on her back hugging her closer to him.
When her breathing evened once again he continued thinking, ‘Was it worth it?’ He would sometimes think to himself while brushing her hair.
He remembered the time he asked her if he was that worth it that she would sacrifice her health for;
‘Was I that worth it?’ He asked her while he adjusted the f/a bag on her back, to which she sadly looked down and said ‘You werent supposed to find out, When that letter arrived I was supposed to leave after seeing how bad my condition is,’ he stared down at her in shock as she continued,
“If I had gotten to the letter before you and left it would all be a little better..you wouldve forgotten me and moved on, I know you wouldve. I didnt want to bother you anymore, so I figured it’d be better if I left and probably went and lived with Hanta or Jirou instead of dying and leaving my body for you to find..I didnt want to cause so much trouble for you..’ His eyed watered and so did hers when she looked up at him..
Driving her to what she knew would be her last festival and what he denied it to be, he held her hand as if it would be the last time he would ever get the chance to.
She pulled him weakly by the hand, taking him from ride to ride—while he complained about how it might not be safe enough for her to ride, she didnt listen though, she still dragged him on, the cycle kept on going with y/n taking him on rides wether he worried about her safety or not, she took him to get some food and candy from time to time, she even asked him to win the f/c bear for and he nodded.
They watched the fireworks with her arms wrapped around her new bear and her bag and his wrapped around her, he watched as she looked up at the bright lights in the sky, he noticed how they reflected in them.
When they got home, she didnt tell him that she felt more unwell than usual, she just told him that ‘I had a great night, ‘Suki. I really love you, you know?’ She hugged him while he wondered where this came from but didnt take much mind as he listened with a smile on his own, she then continued ‘When Im gone, I dont want you to be sad,’ she whispered, ‘Dont say that.’ He shook his head, arms wrapping atound her and hugging her close ‘Youll be fine, you told me youll be fine..’ ‘I know..I just want you to know that, I love you and I want you to be happy and smile, dont dwell on the past, I forgive you, you know that right?’
He nodded, picking her up and taking her to their room, undressing her and putting her pyjamas on then the same with himself while she climbed under the cover and continued, ‘I mean it okay? So dont think it was your fault’ ‘But it was’ he muttered, sadly. ‘It wasnt.’ He didnt argue, he just stayed quiet, contemplating and dwelling on how he knew it was. ‘Are you hungry? Ill go make you some f/f..’ he left the room, not waiting for an answer, leaving you to look down disappointedly.
He didnt want to listen because he knew what you were going to say. Weakly closing your eyes, your hands wrapping around your torso, you opened your eyes a few minutes later, you felt awful, you felt your time closing in you, you swallowed some saliva or at least tried to, you heard Bakugou walk back in and the smell of f/f invaded your senses, you looked up and he walked over with two trays, both holding f/f and f/d, you smiled a small smile that weakly faltered when he put the trays down on the bed and grabbed the remote to the tv in your shared room.
That night when he held you in his arms and ran his finger through your hair and you slowly faded away, youre heart beat faltering, to which only the bear you held—between you two chest to chest—could hear.
‘Suki?’
‘Hm?’
‘I love you so much you know that right?’
‘I know..I love you too y/n’
You smiled, hearing him as he spoke genuinely, he really did love you, he just didnt remember or realise that he did so much until he woke up the next morning, your time had come and gone, your heart—
—‘Y/n? Baby wake up, its time to get up’ he shook you softly, you still clung to both him and the bear between you both—faltered that night, it had finally given up and you had lost your last game—
—‘Y/n wake up!’ He checked your breathing, your pulse, anything he could think of to try and give himself some hope that you weren—
You didnt want to die unhappy but you didnt want to stress him or frustrate him when or if he found your body had you stayed and he didnt read the letter.
—t dead, to try and give himself some hope that you werent dead, but the large lack or little to none of heartbeat and the fact that you werent breathing only made the tears fall from his eyes faster—
Its not the time to dwell on the past anymore, you just had to focus on not being scared of what was to come next, so instead you took in as much of Bakugou as you could, you latched closer onto him and took in his warmth and tried to focus on the bear, the calm bear that basically had no idea what was happening around it.
—‘Please wake up, Please wake up’ he repeated while dialling Emergency Services—
At least Suki would have it to take care of him while you were gone. You closed your eyes, and let out one last breath, feeling his grip tighten on you, a tear ran down your cheek as death took you with a gentle touch.
—‘I love you’ Bakugou whispered to your grave, tears running down his face as he hugged the bear the won you at the festival the night you died in his arms..when the found his body and a note saying,
‘Bury me with the bear next to her -Katsuki Bakugou’
It turned out he really did love you?
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mypoetryandfeelings · 3 years
Text
Theres a stranger in my house, notice how i didnt say home…this isnt my home, this is in no way possible a safe place for me, just 4 walls who do nothing but suffocate me.
Theres a stranger in my house, a bad energy whos every hug is pointy and every word is poisonous, if you know how love feels you know that it sometimes hurts, its not supposed to always hurt tho right?
I in no way feel safe or loved in a proper way, just discomfort and the urge to leave, I feel tears trying to find a way out, my throat has a knot on it and my head feels heavy. Theres no way of escaping and a sudden wave of claustrophobia kicks in.
Only escape is to cover your eyes and pretend to be blind, you see no moster.. nor you see anything else tho, they said its better to feel pain than nothing at all but Im going with the second option without having any other choice. I need to move on and keep going, i cant afford staying still I need to leave.
Theres a stranger in my house and i have no strenghth to fight it, the walls are getting closer and Im running out of air, my eyes are staying closed as I choose to not aknowledge my problems or feelings.
Hurting myself in order not to hurt others is something I often tend to do and theres no one to tell me to stop, no one is there to treat my wounds, no one but myself, my poor scared little self with no strenghth left to fight but just a big desire to be set free.
Because it all comes down to me.
Comfort is nowhere to be found..my head feels heavy again, oh god what am I doing so wrong? Am I the source of the problem? Do I need to be more perfect? Should I change myself again to please her? Those are not questions a teen should be asking to itself. No sweetie its not you..even tho its hard to believe its no ones fault..Theres a wounded child in every one of us, a child who no one knows how to take care of and most of the times its being neglected.
Neglecting that child results in what you are feeling right now sweetie, taking on your shoulders others people hurted inner childs its not easy. Learn from that my sweet kid and dont be like them, you can take care of your own self…Like you always did.
Whos there to hug you my sweet child? People who are not supposed to be your parents is the answer, people with whom you’ve trusted some of your most vulnerable moments, people who accept you and never tried changing you, people who dont project themselves on you..or at least you think so. They’re not really there are they?
My sweet kid people are not homes quoted
Why did no one ever teach you that you cannot turn prople into homes? People are rivers,ever changing,ever flowing. They will dissapear with everyting you put inside them. Still, your home does have a heartbeat. But it isn’t one locked in anyone else’s chest. Just look inside your own.
Most people fall into the trap of thinking they’ve found home in someone esle, but soon they find to realise that they’re not a half, they dont need another person to be a whole..but now its too late, depending on someone else has become a necesity and they now struggle to find the other half of their own self they’re looking for.
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tac-confessions · 3 years
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K lemme clear some stuff up since some of you cant read, and yes im gunna be aggressive as hell in this because none of you listen
First few things, i am not suicidal, i did not say i was going to off myself, i do not know who that anon was but because of everyone saying that anon was me, that anon is not getting the help they deserve from you people so maybe instead of looking for another petty reason to justify your actions against me, think for a second how ignorant your actions are to someone who is legitimately struggling with life right now. How do you think that anon feels? To have posted that as an attempt to seek help or something or to vent, and then see everyone going “omg vlixxie did this to guilt trip deku!!1!” Yeah, please use your brains thank you
To clarify, what i said was that i have struggled with suicidal thoughts and tendancies in the past, im getting help and im getting better, but i still struggle with heavy depression, i did not intend for this to be a guit trip, i realized how aggressive i was towards deku and i attempted to explain why i got so angry at them, receiving vivid violence threats like that really can trigger memories of when i was struggling with life, it can trigger a lot of dissociation and anger and hard shit to deal with, please do not take my words out of context if your going to go off on me for that, no one likes a hypocrite
K second thing, can you FUCK OFF with the ableist autism comments what the actual fuck is wrong with you anons. Seriously? You think people are defending me because im uwu autistic cant do shit? Yeah i have autism, yeah its a disorder thats hard af to deal with, but you know what? I fucking deal with it because life doesnt go soft on you because yoy have more trouble navigating it. I know how to control myself, i know how to form words, i can function as a human being and implying that i cant and that thats the only reason people are defending me is sickening and dehumanizing. Stop minimalizing me and the autistic community as a fucking whole just because you want reasons for me to be at fault
Next point, the slurs, oh the slurs, deku used the R slur against me. Deku did not know i was autistic, i did not ever expect them to have known that as i didnt tell them so i’d appreciate it if you dropped that whole “how could deku know!!” Im not mad because deku used a specific slur against autistic people against me. Im mad because deku used a slur as an insult. As i have been informed, deku also has some kind of disorder, but thats none of my business so i wont ask. The point is, deku has a disorder so in technicality he is likely eligable to reclaim the R slur. The issue with how deku used the slur was they used it as an insult, thats not how reclaiming works, reclaiming a slur is a process used by the minority to slowly take the edge away, to take away its power, so it cant be used against them anymore. When you “reclaim” a slur by using it as an insult, your giving it more power, your using it to descriminate, your doing literally the oposite of reclaiming. So dont come at me with the “deku can use the slur” because while thats true, using a slur to belittle or insult someone takes away any rights you might have and makes you just as discriminatory as anyone else using a slur as an insult
My triggers, so as i gave mentioned in this and as i have mentioned in notes and past posts, violence indicators and threats in general are pretty triggering for me, i dont know why ya’ll started saying “how could deku know??” Because i never said i expected them to know, newsflash, i really dont. Im not open about most of my triggers because most are centered around trauma or are embarrassing to talk about, ya’ll think i wanna be out here talking about how i used to wanna off myself? Ya’ll think im enjoying that? Nah not one bit i’d rather shut my damn mouth on that but it’d just give you people yet another reason to come at me so here we are. Deku did not know those two things would especially set me off, but the fact of the matter is that deku used a slur against me, and deku threatened me. Wether those two things are triggers for me or not they’re disgusting behavior and sick. The reason i brought up the triggers was like i said earlier, to try and explain why i got so aggressive at deku in addition to the original nature of the threats and insults
I legitimately dont know what “evidence” ya’ll have against me but your claiming you got screenshots of me doing/saying something that apparently warrants you to attack me, before ya’ll start sending those screens out like u claim your gunna do, maybe you should dm me and ask for my side, instead of furthering the one sided nature of this shitshow. I do have beef with endo rn, i have had beef with endo for a while now, but i kept it all in private, i didnt say anyting, i vented to my friends a few times because it was stressful as fuck and it was eating me up inside, i gave them screenshots when they asked but i literally never took this public. So before you try to attack me for “publicly” shaming endo, maybe consider that you are literally the people who made this a public affair and literally publicly shamed *me* for nothing
You had no reason to make this public, you had no reason to attack me, you’re grasping at straws trying to find a way to justify your actions, your trying to use me as a scape goat to take the blame off you, but you know what? I own up to my actions, i apologize when necessary, i genuinely want to better myself when i fuck up. And i dont use my mental health or my disorders as a sheild, i explain them when it’s necessary to the situation so dont twist that against me because it’ll only make you more of an asshole
Finally, people arent defending me because i have autism, people arent defending me because im “helpless” people are not defending me because i cant control myself or for any reason your describing, people are defending me because someone blatantly publicly threatened me with no basis and continued to harrass me and bully me into submission. To keep saying people are defending me because i have autism is not only offensive to me as a person with autism, its offensive to the whole ass community, we can take care of ourselves, just because we’re different doesnt mean you can pick our strengths and weaknesses apart and force an identity upon us
So before you make another post trying to further pin everything on me and make more shitty comments against me to justify yourself, consider that maybe you actually fucked up
And for the record, you keep saying i fucked up and im deflecting and i got called out, no one has told me how i fucked up, no one has told me why i apparently deserve this, so how the fuck do you expect me to apologize for actions i did that you wont tell me about. I cant apologize for things i didnt know offended or hurt you, not unless you downright tell me that it hurt you, im not a mind reader, and publicly shaming me isnt going to change that
Thank you.
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ladylillianrose · 4 years
Text
Episode 13 Thoughts/Reactions While Watching
Spoilers under the cut
Does it suck that Selin got dumped on her wedding day? Yes it does. But I'm still proud of Ferit for deciding he is worth someone who loves only him.
"Secret handcuffs between us" omg I love it! 🤣🤣🥰🥰⛓
"To be honest I cannot part from you" *swoon*😍😍
"Sometimes love isn't enough," Eda girl what are you saying? Don't be thinking like that!
I love that he doesn't want to hide their relationship from everyone. He wants to proudly show the world that he is in love with an amazing, beautiful, talented and intelligent woman.
"Let it burn, chaos is good, it will make us stronger." This is so not the same Serkan from the beginning! She has changed him so so much and I love it!
But be wary of the chaos you so willingly embrace Serkan!
Ahhh thank goodness the girls know now! And they're all so happy for her!!!
Also Melo even knowing that Sirius missing her was just Serkan's excuse is adorable and I want her to tease him about that at some point lol!
Makes me miss my girlfriends!!😭😭🥰🥰
Eda! Just tell her!!!
I love that we are seeing more of Serkan spending time in his study in casual clothes. It's a more intimate look at home, surrounded by all his space stuff.
I understand Selin wanting to start a new life and get rid if her shares, but she should have spoken to Alptekin about it, sold him and Serkan the shares. Instead she sold it to a stranger.😡😡
The Head and Shoulders spots never cease to make me giggle. 🧴🚿
Glad that Aydan is realizing Eda's worth. Knowing she intentionally treated her poorly and Eda rose above it.
Ooo Serkan not pulling his punches! He is not wrong that this is what hes been saying for months. And ouch at the bringing up his brother and the past when he was sent off. These are clearly still raw subjects and memories for him.😢😢
Oofff I feel for Aydan on that moment. So frustrated with herself that even as Alpyekin is being taken to the hospital she cant leave to go with him.😢😢
The fact that Eda can tell something is wrong from just a few words.❤❤😢😢
Also Alptekin's heart problem is hitting close to home (my dad just had 4 stints put in his heart last month, one artery was 99% blocked and another was 98% blocked, his was from genetics not diet/exercise). So I really feel for Serkan dealing with everythimg and still feeling helpless/unable to do anything.😢😢😢❤❤❤
Have I mentioned how much I love Leyla? I love that she hugged him,and even though he didn't return the hug, you know that Serkan was touched.🥰🥰🥰🥰
Gossip lines all through the office! That was quick!
Serkan asking for help from them and Leyla and Erdem being shocked lmao 🤣🤣
Oh shit I forgot that Ferit was the one to set up the whole thing with Efe. So of course he would be there/around.
I'm still on Ferit's side having broken things off. I wish he had done it earlier, even minutes before the wedding would have been better than when they were all watching. But it took him until that moment to realize what he didnt want.
Lmao Efe would drive a fancy flashy red car. And of course be the opposite style boss of Serkan. 🚘
Oh Melo, maybe you can have him, keep him away from Eda and Serkan.
Aydan making Seyfi dig up all the info on Eda. And Seyfi being all team Eda
Oooo 6 months is a long time to put up with Efe and Ferit. Poor Serkan!
Lmao Melo is on a roll today! Calling Erdem out on his dating app lies to Fifi, and telling Leyla to back off the assistant position cause its hers lol!
Shit I didnt realize Ferit's shares came directly from Alptekin/Serkan's. Damn that splits it into two teams there.
"I cant breathe here without you." And "I'll be the air for you whenever you want" ugh these two romantics.😍😍😍😍
I love that Ayfer knows enough about Aydan to check on her. And that Aydan was touched by her being the only one to do so. They'll be friends that snipe at each other by the end I'm sure.
But OMG I'm dying at Aydan spilling the beans lmfao! The two of them being hysterical together is hilarious. 🤣🤣🤣
Oooo Eda you are in so much trouble with Ayfer!
Serkan giving Eda the chance to work with Efe cause he knows that she is an admirer of his work as well as he knows how talented Eda is. That love and trust!!!
Seyfi and his love for Eda and Edser!
Also Aydans reaction to the handcuffs, priceless. 🤯🤯
Awww yay Ferit and Ceren! They both deserve someone who loves them!!
Yaass Jealous Serkan reappears! Serkan you are not subtle, Efe definitely knows something is going on  between you and Eda!🤣🤣😍😍
I love that not only was Serkan willing to talk, but then made her promise that they still would since the meeting interrupted them.
Aydan is going to smother Alptekin with her caring and attention!
A sweet romantic lunch for two in the office, Serkan you romantic robot! 🤖❤
And saying the office will find out soon enough anyway!!
And he ordered her food she loves, and that he won't eat!🥰
Omg Eda feeding him fries lmao! Fries are impossible to resist Serkan! 🍟❤
Lmfao all the doors open! He's keeping an eye on Efe and Eda!
Serkan is just so romantic with his "how are you real?" And wanting to just runaway and have it be only the two of them, three if you count Sirius! (My romantic husband has often suggested running away just us two, and the cat of course. It is always a tempting offer).
Serkan telling his parents is gold. He is so matter of fact and straight forward. Saying he wants things to happen fast.
"A womans dreams should not be limited to a man." Ayfer isnt wrong, but in Eda and Serkan's case, Serkan has been supportive of her dreams every step of the way!
Ooo Aydan and Ayfer plotting together lmao that's just trouble there. Eda and Serkan are too stubborn to be swayed by your ploys!
Lmao at Serkan saying "Even the cats run away!" With the cats loudly meowing.😹😹😹
His don't leave me grip on her hand lol. Good lord Ayfer that list lmao. He would have been doing some of it anyway just by being around. But him confirming that he will do whatever she wants him to, for Eda *swoon*❤❤
The comment about it being obvious that she's Eda's aunt lol
Poor Serkan will never get a kiss or hug with Ayfer blocking him! Ayfer you are making all of us suffer!!
Shaking Eda's hand and saying goodbye to the cats, priceless 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Awwww asking Eda to send photos of herself to him because he doesnt have them on his phone.🥰🥰🥰
"Then you are only mine," damn Serkan! 🔥🔥🔥🥵🥵🥵🥵
Ahh the old "here are all these ridiculous events that I will make you do, to prove that you couldnt hack it as a society wife," ploy.
Serkan will likely put his foot down on some of Aydan's demands, just as Eda will with some of Ayfer's demands.
Oh Erdem let's see how this plays out.
Efe I dont trust you, and Ferit stop giving him all the inside info!!
Serkan walking in holding Eda's hand! 🤖❤
Lmfao at Piril calling Engin and yelling at his voicemail that even Robot Serkan comes in holding his love's hand. I'm dying!!
Leyla telling Serkan she still wants to work for him. He may not openly demonstrate affection for his employees but he takes care of them where it counts (I've never had a boss care about me or my family like that). ❤❤❤
He's just more introverted and quiet in how he shows affection (which is what makes his love with Eda so important and different. He's going outside his comfort zone for her!)
That's 2 Leyla hugging Serkan moments!!!!🥰🥰
Piril isnt wrong about needing to do all or nothing with the project. She's blunt of course but it's the truth.
I dont think Efe is lying when he talks about Eda's talent,  but he is laying it on a bit thick. 🙄🙄
Oh Eda you are letting everyone elses talk get to you! Dont listen to them! You know Serkan supports and loves you!!
Erdem you are in for it now with Fifi!
Damn those curtains!! Also it appears to be very very windy there lmao 🌬
Why is Engin in the police station lol! (I know that Anil wasn't feeling well so they had to come up with an excuse, but the police Station really?)🤣🤣
Omg Serkan you're going to make me and Eda cry! You got a house and an office?! And talking about eating her favorite ice cream and going to the libraries (be still my heart, that's how you get me too,ice cream and libraries!).😍😍😍😍😍😍
"I cannot live without you" *swoons* 😍😍
Ummm why do I suspect that Efe is working for Eda's Grandmother? Because that didnt sound like an "okay team, come on over" call. That was a "the pieces are in place, we await your move" phone call. Eda may not want revenge,  but Grandma probably does. 🔪🔪♟♟
Oh God I cant handle Serkan crying! 😭😭😭😭
And he has to tell Eda, he cant keep this from her, and God it's tearing him up knowing that it's his family's fault her parents died.😢😢😢
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audrinahq · 3 years
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AUDRINA CHOI from GLENDALE UNIVERSITY! the TWENTY FOUR year old JENNIE KIM lookalike is most known for being SELF ASSURED and GENEROUS. but they can also be ARROGANT and CALLOUS. the GENDERQUEER always reminds me of JUMPING FENCES TO GET AWAY, VODKA IN A WATERBOTTLE, AN OLD LEATHER JACKET TAKEN FROM YOUR MOM'S CLOSET. that’s probably why they currently have CANDY BY MGK on repeat. with THEM around, this school year is bound to be interesting.
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♡     ───   basics
full name: audrina choi nicknake(s): audrey, rina age: twenty four birthday: january ninth sexual orientation: [redacted] relationship status: unknown, assumed single occupation: heiress, student, model
♡     ───   background
place of birth: seoul, south korea hometown: upper east side, manhattan, new york education: graduated from constance billard school for girls, currently attending glendale university
♡     ───   physical
faceclaim: jennie kim eye color: dark brown hair color: black height: 5′1 
♡     ───   relatives
biological parents: choi myung-dae (father) & choi chi-yon (mother) adoptive guardians: viktor trimme & anika kuhn siblings: none, only child pets: casper, an orange cat & bandit, a german shepherd
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♡     ───   biography / personality
when it comes to audrina’s adoption and their parents, there is no scandal- much to the disapintment of new york city. instead of being raised in south korea, audrina’s birth parents made the decision to give them up for adoption. it was an open adoption and audrina grew up with their birth parents as close family friends and their guardians, viktor and anika. viktor and anika were unable to have biological children of their own and after adopting audrina, they started a foundation meant to help in the adoption process for parents struggling. 
it’s not as if audrina is hiding their sexuality. yhey just love having that part of their life hidden from the media and prying eyes. very careful not to be spotted, audrina has become the master at hiding their personal life from not only page 6 but gossip girl as well. it’s become a big speculation if they’re dating anyone at all and who is might be. anyone spotted with them is subject to the “are they dating” questions before it’s clear that whomever it is, is not audrina’s partner. 
audrina is the person you want with you when things get complicated. they have a knack for either talking their way out of anything and when words don’t work, money sure does. most of the time the reason someone is in trouble is audrina’s fault but they don’t leave a friend behind. they do, however, leave pawns behind. “pawns are meant to be sacrificed for the queen to win.” high school it was clear they thought themself the queen bee of constance billard. it seems in college that mentality hasn’t died away but no longer are they making it known they want to be on top. not as obvious, at least.
audrina is a very “love them and leave them” type of person. commitment is a nasty word when it comes to relationships. rumor has it their best friend has a reward for the first person to get them to say ‘i love you’. 
♡     ───   in character questionnaire 
Parents names and occupations? Are they still together? Still alive?
“which set of parents are you talking about? myung-dae and chi-yon are owners of a ramyeon shop in korea. viktor is a criminal defense attorney and anika is a plastic surgeon. they’re all still alive.”
Where did you grow up?
“in the upper east side. manhattan. fifth avenue, to be specific.” 
Relationship Status?
“wouldn’t you like to know? next question.”
What is your major?
“education. and no, i don’t want to be a teacher but i need a background in education so i can sit on school boards and reform the education system.”
Sexuality? 
“you won’t get that answer from me. stop trying.”
Do you have a job?
“what? being a student isn’t good enough? i do some modelling as a hobby. i don’t need to work.”
Do you dorm at school? Have an apartment?
“i live in the same apartment i always have. i lived in the dorms for freshman year- it was required, and then moved out the second i could. community living isn’t for me.”
Hobbies?
“aside from modeling, i like reading. i’m into fashion- what upper east side kid isnt? oh- dancing and art too. recently took up taekwondo.”
If you had a warning label, what would yours say?
“tiny but mighty? no. uh- probably something to do with how i would kick your ass. i don’t know, i’m not that clever.”
What have you been up to over the summer?
“you know that better than i do. seem like a gossip girl reader. ask her, sure she knows.”
Last image taken on your cell phone?
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Last text you received?
“next question.”
Where were you the night the fight broke out?
“korea, i was working.”
♡     ───   character inspirations 
blair waldorf
jenny humphrey
narcissa malfoy
harley quinn
ingui "queen" yoon
klaus mikaelson
caroline forbes
rebekah mikaelson
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♡     ───   wanted connections
sex money feelings dies ( open ) - think of exes but make it a one night stand but on top of that a frequent hook up. every time you say that won’t hook up with each other again. it’s not healthy, you both want past the relationship and let it go, but the moment y’all see each other from across the bar or at a party you just know you’ll end up in each other’s bed again
i saw you in a dream ( nadine alston ) - you guys were close. so close. thought there would never be a time you guys wouldn’t talk, but one thing lead to another and you’re left thinking about them when it’s just you and your thoughts. without them your life really hasn’t been the same, but is it worth getting past what happened to pick up the phone and call them?
painkiller ( juliana “jules” santos ) - best friends forever. literally. this person knows you inside out and you can’t see a day without them. they’re essentially your painkiller. you tell them everything and them back to you. they can tell if you’re feeling down just by the way you send your snapchat streaks that morning. you can’t see a day without them.
call your girlfriend ( open ) - this one is pretty messy. your muse is in a relationship, but there’s a huge flirtationship between these two. the flirtationship essentially becomes to both of these people attached to each other and maybe... even in love. but there’s still that relationship that’s in the way... YIKES
perfect places ( noah evans ) - party buddies but make it you guys just getting lost in the vibes because you don’t want to deal with life. it’s a good friendship. you guys get the thoughts in your head to go numb, but at a point it’s like what’s the point ?
femme fatale ( jared callahan ) - one muse is a huge fool for the other. they’re head over heels for them but they’re just playing around with the other’s feelings because hey ! it’s fun ! all of their friends tell them to ‘ just leave it you’re gonna get hurt ’, but they just continue to be boo boo the fool 
ex affair ( open ) - basically your muse was the cheater and audrina the other woman but it ended for whatever reason.
family friends ( luca cartwright ) - friends who met through family, could either be close or it be an awkward situation because they don't really get along or know each other well.
squad goals ( tatiana “tati” reyes , juliana “jules” santos , open ) - just a close knit group of friends. the group chat is always going off with someone’s dramatics, one or more of the squad constantly featured together in social media and the press. one or more or all of them constantly sleeping over at audrina’s place. doesn’t matter the university, these friends have been ride or die since childhood at least.
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♡     ───   wanted connections
these can be used in any direction the “you” does not mean your muse from the point of view from audrina, it can go either direction. i just like the #aesthetic of writing it this way. 
001. open. you pulled away from me, so i pulled away from you. i pulled away when you hurt me. you pulled away when the world hurt you. and now we are both pulled away during a time when we are supposed to be pulled together. at some point i needed to put it all behind me. forget about you. forget about the way you made me wonder. and what we could have been. because it never happened, and it always got later, morning always turned into nights and the day was eventually over and nothing had changed. but it doesn’t mean that i don’t feel a damn thing, i do still feel a hole in my heart when they talk about you, i do still want to scream when i hear you have another life with someone else, i do still want to feel your kiss on my skin. and i do still love you.
002. open. we have no idea what personal boundaries are and yeah we’ve made out before a lot and yeah it was ok but we’re friends ok friends and why are you staring at me like that? why are you holding my hand always? why are you telling me how much you adore me? oh we’re not dating? oh you’ve been in love with me for years and i’m a doorknob and now things are awkward and i don’t know what to do to fix it.
003. open. i confessed i might be in love with and you said you weren’t interested in dating me because we’re just friends and i’m getting over that heartbreak but you show up on my doorstep and kiss me and we end up in bed and in the morning you tell me this was a mistake and before i can stop you, you leave. you show up again. lather rinse repeat. it’s not good for either of us but we keep doing it.
004. open. we tried the whole dating thing and it didn’t work out and we’ve moved beyond that. you’re my go-to friend on anything and everything and any problem you got i will fucking mow down hell to fix. wow your smile just lights up my world and please don’t be sad. who made you sad i will throw them in hell and mow them down and – oh wow. i never got over you. you’re my fucking world and i just want you to be happy but you can only see me as a friend because when you look at me you see our failed relationship but i’m not the same person i swear.
005. open. we’ve been best friends since we were kids, grew up next to each other and even though we aren’t from the same family we get confused for siblings a lot when we were younger. we’re older now and people keep thinking we’re dating but it’s not like that, we’re just extremely close. oh hey, you’re at my house more often than your own cause i don’t like to be alone at night and the neighbors think we’re together or having an affair and it’s funny to laugh about at dinners and we always get each other valentine’s presents since we were kids and you’re the first person i call when anything happens in my life. what? no, i’m not in love with them, they’re just my best friend.
006. open. “hey, open your front door. i’m here with chips, pizza, ice cream, and your favorite pastries. yes, i know it’s like 3am but i’m your best friend and i know you’re sad right now and i am here to comfort you.”
007. open. you’re not my ex anything. you were a passing moment, an almost a maybe one day we’ll be something but one day never came, you passed by and ‘almost’ didn’t happen. and yet it feels like something did because i know your favorite songs, what you think about late at night and how beautiful you thought i was. and i know you knew even more about me. our story was like an acute angle, a meeting point and then off in different directions. so close and then farther and farther away. we were an almost, maybe, someday.
008. open. tell me where we went wrong because it’s still not clear to me. there are still questions left unanswered and they’re killing me. tell me why we end up here, i thought we’d last a little bit longer. tell me what happened, why all of a sudden you decided to live without me. you just left. tell me how far should i walk away from you because i can’t turn away on my own. i’ve tried my best to let go but my life keeps coming back to you. i’ve tried to walk alone but i keep on looking back, hoping that every time that i turn, you’re there walking with me. tell me when to stop loving you because i don’t know how to stop this feeling.
009. open. if you’re alone, i’ll be your shadow. if you want to cry, i’ll be your shoulder. if you want a hug, i’ll be your pillow. if you need to be happy, i’ll be your smile… but anytime you need a friend, i’ll just be me.
010. open. things were great for a while before suddenly they weren’t. commitment doesn’t look good on you or me and now everything ends in a fight. you pushed me away so i pushed you away harder, the distance became catastrophic and the relationship imploded. hearts were shattered in the process and now you just bring back too many memories of what it felt like to be happy and to be in love so i just ignore you cause it feels easier than facing the truth that i miss you.
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